#our time text me to schedule your next appointment bye

[milo-is-rambling]

Drove around for an hour after therapy scream singing music and I screamed FUUUCKKK at the top of my lungs a couple times while driving on empty back roads and it didn’t fix me :/

[trueromantic1]

The Myth of Me and You Is Fiction Turned To Truth

Summary: After the events of both seasons (SVU 22x16 and OC 1x08), Olivia and Elliot find themselves in the unique position of knowing where there love story will end up, but having no idea what exactly will transpire to get them there. One thing they do know? Their love can only grow deeper, and that they’re bound to enjoy the journey.

Author’s Note: For the purposes of this story, SVU 22x16 ended on May 28 (canon) and OC 1x08 ended on June 4 (not canon). This picks up on June 7.

Title comes from Great Ones by Maren Morris. It’s definitely an EO song.

Rating: M, possibly Explicit eventually

ff.net: here

AO3: here

Her phone beeped, drawing her distracted gaze away from the paperwork in front of her. Seeing the text message notification lighting up the screen, Olivia took off her glasses and put her pen down, picked up the phone, and leaned back in her chair with a sigh as she unlocked it.

Can I buy you dinner? There’s news.

She frowned, trying to tell his mood from those few words. Realizing it would be impossible, she glanced out at the nearly empty squad room before hitting the call button instead.

“You didn’t have to call. I know you’re at work still Liv.” Judging by the voices she could hear in the background, he was still at work as well. She knew they’d been dealing with the lawyers and IAB ever since Morales turned out to be a mole and decided suicide by cop was the best way out.

“It’s fine El. I needed a break from the paperwork for a minute anyway. The one thing they never prepare you for is just how much paperwork you do when you’re in charge of a squad. So, what’s going on?”

He chuckled, and she could hear the creak as he leaned back in his own chair. “That’s what dinner is supposed to be for Liv. If I tell you now, what would be the point of dinner?”

She smiled, recognizing his tone as the slightly flirty one she’d been hearing more of ever since what was supposed to be Fin’s wedding. Neither one of them was ready to jump into a relationship, but they’d come to a silent understanding that night by the water. “I don’t know Elliot. We’ve never needed a reason for dinner before. Why don’t you just tell me the news now, and then you can come over to my place later and we’ll get Chinese. Noah’s taking advantage of it being summer vacation and is at a sleepover so his friend’s mom can take them to an early show of a ballet she worked on costumes for. Apparently, they allow friends and family to come for free on Tuesdays, but it’s normally during the school day.”

“Oh, I bet he’s excited. Sleepover during the week and going to a professional ballet performance?”

“Yes, he’s thrilled. It’s all he talked about all weekend. Now quit stalling Elliot. What’s going on?”

“I never could get one by you, could I? Okay. Well, Angela Wheatley woke up earlier today, and is expected to make a full recovery. Bell and Washburn went over to the hospital once they cleared her for visitors. And we’re finally supposed to be done dealing with IAB and the lawyers over this. We still have to wait for IAB’s official report, but I got the feeling none of us were going to get in trouble for what happened. They told Bell they’d already spoken to you as well, so you should be done with them for now too. And then on a more personal note, you remember I told you I was looking at apartments in the city? At Fin’s not-wedding and then that I had some more appointments the rest of that weekend? Well, I found one, and I went down and signed the lease today during lunch.”

“El, I’m glad things are working out with the case, and that IAB will be out of all of our hair. It’s still bothering me what exactly Richard Wheatley was planning with that fake text sending me to the hospital. But I guess we won’t know unless he decided to tell us. But way to bury the lead! El, that’s great! I can’t believe you found a place in just a week. You didn’t just settle for something did you? You need a good place for you and Eli to make a home.” She knew he’d been anxious about getting out of the one bedroom short-term he’d rented after Kathy’s death, so she hoped he’d taken his time to find something he really liked.

“It’s nice, knowing you worry about us. And thanks. Don’t worry, it’s actually a great place. Rent’s a little higher than I’d planned, but I can make it work. It’s about halfway between here and the one six actually. About two blocks from the school Eli will be going to, assuming they’re back to in person by then. And it’s a three bedroom two and a half bath, which I figure will come in handy if any of the kids decide to visit and don’t want to drive home ever. And it’s near a park, in case anyone else wanted to visit. I take possession this Sunday, and Bell gave me Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off so I can get some stuff moved in. I’ve got some furniture scheduled for delivery on Monday.” The calm she’d been hearing more and more in the last few weeks shone through, which she knew was at least in part because he’d finally started talking to someone. But she thought a lot of it had to do with settling back into the city, since he’d confided that as much as they’d been happy in Italy, the energy had just never been exactly right to him.

“I’ll always worry El, you know that. I’m glad though. Now you and Eli have all summer to get settled in. Hopefully he’ll meet some of his future classmates, so he won’t fell so new when school starts back up. And you know, it just so happens, I might know someone who could come help you get things set up. You know, if you were interested.” She made sure to infuse her voice with a hint of suggestion, upping the playful flirting they’d been indulging in just a bit. She mentally patted herself on the back when she heard the hitch in his breath followed him clearing his throat. His next words, voice lowered and with a hint of a growl, proved he hadn’t lost a step either, as she felt herself flush with arousal and a corresponding dampness between her thighs that she was fast becoming reacquainted with that caused her to cross her legs and shift in her seat to try to alleviate the pressure.

“Is that so? Well, far be it from me to turn down someone willing to work up a sweat with me. Why don’t we discuss it more over dinner? I should be able to be to your place by 7, if that works for you.”

She checked the time, then the stack of papers she needed to finish, then glanced into the squad room. Seeing her people were now at their desks, folders open in front of them, she quickly calculated it’d be at least another hour before she could even think of leaving, especially if she planned to take three days off next week. “Make it 8?”

“8 it is. Want me to pick up our usual on my way over, or are we having it delivered?”

“Hmm, better pick it up. You know how busy they get. If you call it in when you leave, it’ll probably be just about ready by the time you get there.”

“Sound good. I’ll let you go so you can finish up all that paperwork. See you in a few hours Liv.”

“Alright. Bye El.” Hanging up, she pressed the phone against her chest a moment, savoring the warm feeling she always seemed to get when she talked to Elliot these days, before standing up and walking out into the squad room.

“Anything you guys haven’t finished by 7, you can leave until tomorrow. Short of a new case, you can all clock out then, since we’re currently between cases.” She turned to head back to her office and the stack of paperwork, but turned back around when Amanda spoke.

“Are you clocking out then too Cap? I know Noah’s at that sleepover. You shouldn’t stay late finishing paperwork anymore if we aren’t.” Her detective’s voice was concerned, and she realized just how much her stress and worry over the last three months must have shown, despite how hard she tried to hide it.

“Yes, he’s already called me to say goodnight, because apparently they will be too busy the rest of the night with sleepover stuff to worry about me. But don’t worry, I’m clocking out then too. Even if that pile of paperwork is only going to grow when you all turn in your paperwork.” She turned again, hoping to make it into her office before anyone thought too hard about her clocking out when she didn’t have to, but Fin’s teasing voice told her she was too late.

“You? Clock out early when you don’t have Noah waiting at home? What’s up? You got yourself a hot date or something?”

She was a Captain. Had been a police officer for over twenty years. She’d had to keep her cool when being questioned on the stand by lawyers all the time. But she knew, she knew, that she couldn’t hide the hitch in her step or the slight wince as he asked his question. Even as she turned back around, her face carefully blank, she knew he’d caught her. “Date? No, I don’t have a date. Who would I even have a date with?” Internally, she winced again as she heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Elliot Stabler tell her that asking that many questions just made her sound defensive, and therefore all the more suspicious. Registering the varying degrees of shock on the three’s faces, she smirked to herself for surprising them at least.

“Oh, I don’t know. A certain Detective, maybe? I saw you two together at the ceremony, off in your own little world by the water. Almost like old times, ‘cept the flirting was a little too obvious.”

Trying to control the embarrassed flush she could feel, she internally cursed. She’d hoped everyone had been too preoccupied to pay attention to her and Elliot, but knew that had probably been too much to hope for. She knew the rumor mill had picked right back up when he’d returned, and people realized they were talking again. “Alright, yes, I’m meeting Elliot for dinner. But it’s not a date. We’re just going to do some catching up over Chinese. We haven’t really had much time to just talk since he came back.” She ignored the pointed look he shot her, and appreciated that Amanda and Kat at least pretended not to be interested, as she finally made it back into her office. She heard his footsteps though, saw him shut the door behind him as she sat down behind her desk.

“You sure about this? I just don’t want you getting hurt. Don’t forget, I was here when he left.” She could see the worry clouding his face, and resigned to give him the truth. After all, he’d been there for it all.

“I’m sure. We’re…Taking things slow. We’ve talked, and while neither one of us is ready to just jump straight into a relationship, we’ve discussed it, and have agreed that’s where we’re heading. So we flirt some, and we spend time together, and we talk. We’re not defining it yet. I know it sounds like dating, and maybe in a way it is. But what’s important to us is rekindling our friendship, first and foremost. We’ve already talked about why he left, how he left. And I’ve told him not only what it did to me, but I’ve told him what he missed. He was…Devastated. It turns out the whole family was in France at the time, and by the time the kids came back, it had already become old news. He swore he would have come back had he known, and I believe him. I’d always wondered if he’d just stopped caring, but if you’d seen how he looked, you’d have had to believe him too. So yes, I’m sure about this. We’re going to take things slow for now, but we know where we’re going to end up, even if we aren’t sure when that will happen. Speaking of Elliot though, I’m going to take a few personal days next week to help him get moved into his new place. He gets the keys on Sunday, and his furniture comes Monday.”

He still looked a little worried, but she could tell he would take her at her word. “If you say so. I have to say, I’m surprised you guys already talked about that. But I’m glad. You deserve to be happy Liv, and I think he’ll make you happy. And don’t worry, I’ll cover next week for you. And I’ll let the others know you’ll be taking some time, and make sure they don’t ask you any questions.” He turned and left the office, leaving the door open behind him as he went back to his desk, stopping to talk to Amanda and Kat on his way.

Putting her glasses on and picking up her pen, she smiled to herself as she went back to her paperwork. She still had a lot to work through before it was time to head out, though she was hoping the anticipation would make the time pass faster. Afterall, it wasn’t every day she got to head home to a hot meal and an even hotter man, not that she’d tell him that. His ego was already inflated enough.

[domesticblisss]

Dark But Just a Game

Timothy Thatcher x Female Reader Rating: Mature (Minros DNI) Word Count: 1565 Warnings: Fluff, smut. Teasing, sexual tension, (semi) public shower sex. Inspired by Lana Del Rey’s song, Dark, But Just a Game. A/N: I love how Lana has at least one song on her albuns for depressed horny bitches like yours truly. This is the one from the new era, hope y’all like it.

I met Tim on a warm, end of spring night in may. It was almost 10pm when I got a call from the NXT medical team asking me to come quick, as per orders of one Mr. William Regal, because one of their superstars lost a few teeth during a Fight Pit match. Whatever that means.

When I arrived there, I was greeted by Mr. Regal, Hunter and one very disheveled and feral looking Timothy.

William introduced me to Tim, praising me. “Tim, she’s an oral surgeon, the best we know. Would you mind if she took a look?”

“Sure, go on doc.” he gave me a little nod.

“Could you please open your mouth?” I asked him as I put my gloves on. “Promise I won’t hurt you.”

“I’m used to it, doc.”

I took my time examining him, being careful to not cause him anymore pain.

“So, a molar, a premolar and the chipped top incisor.”

“No, not the front one. That’s my charm.” he cut me off.

“Yep, yes, it is. So, the molar and the premolar were ripped off right from their roots, that’s why you are bleeding so much. You’re going to need surgery to take whatever little pieces that are in there still and to get new ones.”

“How long is he going to stay out?” Hunter asked.

“I would give him four to six weeks. The implants take a little longer to heal. You can still use him for segments if you need, I don’t know what you guys have planned, but I would avoid having him getting his ass kicked.”

“Hey!” Tim intervened and I smiled at him.

“What do you say Tim? You good or do you want a second opinion?” Hunter asked him.

“I trust her.” he said looking straight into my eyes, giving me a toothless grin.

“I have a slow morning tomorrow,” I told him, looking at my phone’s calendar “you can come to the office at 9, is that good for you?”

He nodded.

“Great! This is my card, and my address is in the back. See you tomorrow!” I said my goodbyes smiling at him.

“Thank you for coming in such a short notice.” said Regal.

“No problem! I appreciate that you keep your men beating each other so hard that I still have a job! Bye Regal, bye hunter. Bye Tim!” ————————— Tim arrived fifteen minutes earlier then what was scheduled. He was a gentleman and very funny, always having a comeback to my jokes. I don’t know what it is about him that made that just made talking to him so easy.

“We are going to have three main appointments. Today I’ll take the x-rays to see what’s going on on that pretty little mouth and take off what is left of the teeth that broke off. This procedure usually takes three, four days to heal. We are also taking the moulds of your teeth so we can make the implants. Next week we will get the implants done and two weeks after that you come back so I can see how everything is going, okay?” I explained to him everything we were going to do.

“Sounds great, doc.”

Every appointment was the same, he would arrive at least fifteen minutes earlier, we would joke together and he would leave.

It was on the third appointment that he decided to ask me things about my life from outside the practice.

“You know, I always noticed that picture of yours. Do you still practice BJJ?” he asked.

“I do, every saturday.”

“Really?! Wow, I bet you could kick my ass.”

“Oh, trust me, I can. I’ll give it to in a silver platter too.”

“Do you wanna train with me?”

“Train with you?” he got me confused.

“Yeah, you show me some BJJ, I’ll teach you some catch wrestling. What do you say?”

“Oh, are you going to be mean to me just like you are with your students on Thatch as Thatch Can?”

“Even meaner.” he winked at me.

“Deal! You’ve got my number, if you figure out how to text, shoot me the address.”

And that’s how tuesdays and thursdays became Training Days with Timothy Thatcher. He got a friend that owned a gym and would give him the key to it so we could train in peace after its closing hours.

I have got to be honest, I was attracted to him from the first moment I saw him, and accepting to train him and with him was just an excuse to keep seeing him.

The mood between us changed right when the first move was locked in. He would still joke, but they got heavier, with double meanings, he was still very respectful, but the touches would linger a little bit longer than usual, and the tension got thicker and thicker. It felt like a game of cat and mouse, and I think I was the mouse this time.

Those days consists of us training, taking a shower on the gym’s locker room and grabbing something to eat on the diner on the corner of the gym. It didn’t just stop there, we would always ask each other out for drinks.

Sometimes with some of my friends, sometimes with some of his friends, but most of the times it was just the two of us in bars so crowded, so noisy, that we couldn’t help but have to stay extremely close each other, whispering on each other’s ears so whatever we said was heard, his hand on the small of my back in a protective manner so no one would bump into me. Those days were the worst, full of lingering stares, flirty smiles and soft touches and neither one of us made a move. Sometimes I think he knew how much he riled me up and felt pleasure on leaving me hanging.

————————— It was on a thursday when it all finally broke loose. I had had a full day on the office and was extremely tired for our sessions but didn’t want to call it out. Tim felt how tired I was and decided to turn up his teasing and his strength to 11. I wasn’t able to get out of a single one of his holds and tapped out of every submission he got me in. It was when he got me in crossface chickenwing, pressed his body closer to mine and whispered in my ear “It’s dark, but just a game.”

I tapped out and he finished the session there.

“The ladies locker room is closed, they started the renovations yesterday. You can use the male one.”

I nodded and made my way there.

I could still feel his touch on my skin and the way he pressed himself on the small of my back whenever he applied more pressure to a hold.

I heard a knock on the shower door before he started speaking.

“Hey, I’m sorry I got so hard on you today. I thought you were going to give in on the joke and cheer up a little, but I guess your day was harder than I thought. I’m sorry.”

I opened the door before he could continue, his eyes widened to the sight of my naked body in front of him

“I– I should– I–“

“Take off your shorts and get in here.” I cut him off.

He was quick and as soon as he got in the shower box with me, I pressed my lips to his.

He was eager, his hands going all over my body, squeezing my ass and slapping it.

“Do you know how long I’ve dreamed with this?” he asked.

“Since fight pit day?”

“Yeah.” he answered, pinching my nipple and biting my collar bone.

“Fuck, me too. You have no idea what you do to me, Tim.”

“Oh, I know, dove. Press your chest to the wall and spread your legs for me.” he asked so sweetly that made me tremble.

I did as he told and I felt him press his length inside of me, taking it slow, helping me get adjusted to how thick he is. He stopped once he was fully inside, turning my head to him, kissing my lips and asking “Ready?”

He started moving as I nodded “yes”, slow at first and gradually picking up speed, his right hand on my clit, and two fingers from the left one comfortably sitting inside my mouth, with me sucking on them as an attempt to muffle my moans.

I didn’t last long, overstimulated with the mix of his thrusts, the lazy rubs around my clit and the delicious sounds of his grunts. He came right after me, with my walls squeezing around him.

He slumped a bit behind me and I was thankful for the wall I was pressed on. It took a few seconds for him to start moving again, getting out from inside of me and snaking his arms around my waist, holding us together under the shower head.

“I meant it when I said I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.” he started talking again after a moment.

“Me too.”

“So, is there any policies against dating a patient?” I could feel him smiling on the skin of my neck.

“I think I could make an exception for you.”

“Good! Wanna grab some dinner?”

“Would love to!”

[uhhhhyandere]

heheheehehehe 

no wedding yet. I really do be messing with the plot a lot, and making it when i shouldn’t but... i can’t help myself. ;p 

it’s totally true that light can be the sweetest person in order to convince anyone, and i exploit that like a bitch. as always, writing for fun, not perfection!! 

word count: 5.4k

 “I’ve been seeing you a lot more.” Rose mixed her drink with the spoon, but her eyes were happily trained on you. “It’s a good thing! Don’t get me wrong. You surprised me when you called to meet up. Usually, it’s me, then you say we’ll see, then you call me back later. It’s a nice change of pace when you call, but I know you’re busy with wedding planning and being happy.” You crossed your legs, slipping your hands under your thighs to warm them up from the ice of your own drink.  

“I think it’s probably because when the amount of stress in my life tripled is when I realized I need a break,” is what you said, and what Light told you to say if you were ever questioned on why you were suddenly so social after he allowed you the freedom to leave without permission. Perhaps he was finally tired of the calls throughout the day while he was working, or maybe there was a semblance of trust beginning to form. That, or he finally noticed that you were beginning to fester in the confines of your home and wants your spirit to lift once more, which is all the more amusing to you that he may think that would be feasible.

“Well, I don’t know how much I can do to help. I mean, I’m sure Light’s doing his part, right?” You laughed.

“Plenty.”

“Then, do you need anything at all? From me? Or mom?” As pins and needles in your hands began to spread, you removed them and stretched them out on top of your thighs.

“Can you tell me about your life?”

“Huh?”

“Your life. You know. Sato, your new apartment. Your sex life. I don’t care. Anything. Everything. I just need to look into someone’s life that isn’t my own,” because frankly, you were worried Light had something up his sleeve, and you knew, you knew, you would only bring yourself more misery if you drowned yourself in your thoughts. Your sister leaned back in the cushion and smiled to herself.

“Well, it was our three months last week. Nothing compared to you, but it was nice. I’ve never been the one for… commitment, really, but—I don’t know—seeing you and Light, it makes me think that ‘Yeah I want that,’ and it’s a nice change to hookups.” She cut herself off. Her eyes stuck on a crack in the wall below the window. With her lips parted, she sighed, and a sudden sadness fell onto her face. Her fingers played with the wood of the table for a few moments before she opened her mouth to speak again. “Sorry, I was just thinking about Oliver. Reminds me of him.”

“What does, specifically?”

“Commitment. He slept around so much in college, but, when he settled back in the US and met his partner, it was like he changed. That connection, he felt it immediately, and, right when he was brave enough to take the next step…” Rose wiped beneath her eyes, being careful to avoid the mascara on her bottom lashes. It seemed that her eyes were only watering though. “Well, you know.” Yes, you did. “I’m scared. What if I find that and then it’s just… taken away from me? It’s easy when there’s no feelings involved.” She shook her head and hid her mouth behind her hand. “Sorry. I’m supposed to be distracting you from the stress, but I’m just adding to it.”

You allowed the table to fall into silence. Every time you’ve seen Rose since Light gifted your freedom, there was a small, small voice in the back of your mind that told you to tell Rose the truth. Sometimes just parts of it, but you knew that you couldn’t unwrap a small piece without, over time, exposing it all. Even so, what harm could Rose really do with that information? She’s never ceased her devotion to Kira, and you remember it was a defining factor in Sato when she started talking to him. Would she see Kira different knowing he is not some omnipotent god descended from wherever to distribute justice on the human world? Losing her belief was too much of a risk in exchange for information she didn’t need to know.

Information she deserved to know.

“Double date.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you and Sato and me and Light just go for dinner or something? I don’t know him well, and it might be a good idea to try. I mean, when I get stuck up in the past, I try to appreciate the present by doing something. I think it’s what they all would want.” Lying comes too easy. Little did she know the dead you thought of most likely wanted you as dead as them, and, wherever Misa was, you were sure she wanted the same.

“They all?”

“Huh?”

“You said they all, as in plural.” You shook your head.

“Oh, yeah. Well, Light’s dad, coworkers he’s had who have passed, Oliver.” She folded her hands over mouth.

“I completely forgot. I—you’re right. We should set that up. Soon, and I mean soon. As in this weekend or the next? I know Light’s schedule is insane, and yours, too, with the wedding. Oh, and I’ll tell Sato that Light is okay with our beliefs, so there’s no issue there. You know, with Kira.” You shook your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. It was my idea. He makes his own schedule most of the time unless something particularly nasty comes up. I’m sure that he’ll be free. He tries for weekends off but… he’s a workaholic.” Rose laughed into the brim of her cup.

“Sounds like him. I’m sure Sato will be free too.”

“What does he do, if I may ask?”

“Oh, he’s a lawyer. He used to be a public defender, but now he’s moved to elder law since Kira first appeared.” She paused. “You know, I think that he could use it too. His stepbrother died a while back, and he looked up to him like they were blood brothers.” You nodded. “Speaking of which,” she raised her wrist, “I told Sato that I would meet him after his appointment to go to that—um—botanical garden, I think? I don’t know. I’m excited.” You watched her hurry to collect herself. “Are you coming?” You shook your head.

“No, I think I’ll stay for a bit,” you checked your own watch, “Light won’t be home for a little while anyway. You go have fun. Let this chained old hag stay here.” Rose scoffed.

“’Chained old hag’, my younger sister who is planning the best day of her life says. Call me when you talk to Light and we can set up that date. Bye! Love you!” By the time she was wishing you well, she was halfway towards the door. You smiled to yourself. No, you would keep her in blissful ignorance despite what she deserves. It only added to your list of shit deeds. Nothing new.

You dug into your back pocket and pulled out your cell phone you turned off for the duration of your coffee date and decided you would leave it that way. You could people-watch for the next half hour. Hell, you probably could for the next five hours and not even know. You could hardly remember the last time you had watched the passersby with no worries, or at least, with all of your worries suppressed to normalcy.

With each one that passed, you grew more and more envious. Though every person had problems, stressors, issues, you were sure that you would trade anything to have the struggles they are having, so blissfully unaware of the reality that is around them. How easy it was for them to simply perish from this world in forty seconds, and they didn’t even know. Too busy worrying about exams and deadlines to even care. You released a shaky breath and thought about how you would do anything to have calculus be your biggest problem.

Too little, too late. The time for self-pity has long passed. Still, you permitted yourself some time to wallow for the sake of “self-care.” To cry against the headrest of the coffee shop chair until it was three minutes passed the time you wanted to leave was a fine enough method. It gave you enough time to fix yourself so Light would never know the difference.

Though, he was nowhere to be found as you walked into your house. The only indication he was home was the muffled movement from the floor above. Before you moved to go up the stairs, the number of objects on your kitchen counter drew your attention. Multiple white binders with swatches of silk sticking out from the edges, different plastic flowers, multiple—.

“Oh my fucking god,” you muttered, dread dropping into your core like an anchor. You had a fucking meeting with your wedding planner today. You ripped your phone from your pocket a finally turned it on. Fifteen text messages. Eight calls. You were dead. You dropped the device onto the counter in order to cup your face with your hands and groan.

“Oh, nice of you to come home.”

“Light, I am—I don’t—I don’t know—.” He shushed you with an open palm. Your hands linked on the edge of the counter behind your back. Biting your lip, you kept your eyes on him, ready to take whatever he was planning to give. Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Stop looking at me like a wounded dog. I haven’t even said anything yet. When I allowed you your freedom, I didn’t mean to free your head from your brain either. I looked like a fool with her after calling you eight times. She asked me if everything was okay between us, if we were fighting. Do you know how annoying and more importantly embarrassing for me it was? Have you ever, for once, used your brain for anything outside of what is in front of you? Where were you, anyway? With your sister, again?” Light scoffed. “No wonder your head isn’t working as well as it used to.”

“Rose is not stupid.”

“She’s certainly not intelligent. Why have you sought her out so much, anyway? If there’s something wrong, you should be talking to me. She may be your sister, and she may think she knows what may be going on, but she never will. Rose can never bring you any comfort when she’s so in the dark. The only person who knows, who can bring you a semblance of peace, is me.” You clenched your teeth.

“Then why not tell her, then? Everything.” He scowled and a single brow rose in challenge. “She deserves to know at least how our brother and father died.” Your throat clenched, but you remained steadfast. They always say tears is how you convince someone of anything, but tears were only a sign of weakness to Light. He sighed, shoulders falling. Closing the space in between you, he brought his hand to delicately cup your jaw.

“The guilt is eating at you again. Y/N, if you decided to tell her that, you would need to tell her everything. You would risk losing all connection with her, just as your brother did when you told him.” He leaned in so his lips began to trail up your jaw, across your cheek, and towards your ear. “Not to mention the potential obstacle it could pose to me, and you know I don’t hesitate when it comes to anything that could stand in my way.” He placed a small kiss behind your ear. “Is that something you are willing to risk in order to alleviate your guilt? Is it really worth it?” His hand that was on your jaw traced up your cheek, fingernails lightly dragging across your skin. He tucked your hair behind your ear and moved his face, so he was looking directly into your eyes again. “I won’t waste my breath telling you what to do. By now, you should already know, which is why you have this freedom in the first place because you know better.” With a sigh, he retracted, leaving only his hand in your hair. “Still, should you decide to do something stupid, I won’t think twice before cleaning up your mess. Decide if you’re ready to go through that again.

He took his hand back and walked around to begin to stifle through the binders. Turning around, you helped him spread them all across the counter and the table.

“What did I miss?” Your voice was quiet, still nervous to tempt out a side of him you didn’t want to see. Light’s eyes jumped around the binders.

“You’re lucky we didn’t need to make any decisions today. I brought home everything. Color swatches, food options, flowers, music, venues, cake, everything,” You sighed. “Not to mention dresses.”

“Please don’t even mention it. I’ve always been more of a jumpsuit kind of person.” He met your eyes briefly. “I-I mean in general! No, I’ll be wearing the big, whitey giant. Just don’t even know where to start, and not just that, with everything. It’s so much. Do we even have a budget in mind yet?” He shook his head.

“Money shouldn’t be a problem.” You furrowed your brows, but he said it as easy as someone who was talking about the weather. “What? Don’t look so mystified. As long as we don’t decide to make this a royal wedding and invite the Queen, we don’t have any foreseeable problems.” In your time since you quit your job, you realized that you haven’t thought about money at all. It wasn’t really an issue that was… “in front of your face.” You scowled as Light’s statement replayed in your head. You used his card if you went anywhere or bought anything, and yet you haven’t even thought to check the bank statement.

By god, you were turning into a trophy wife. Maybe, if you knew what that really was. Whatever you were turning into, it didn’t settle right in your stomach.

“Then we should decide the vibe.”

“The… vibe,” he repeated skeptically.

“Yeah. Do we want it to be rustic, or classy and formal? Or modern? Minimalistic? Classic? I don’t know. Then we could decide colors to go along with the theme, and then flowers would follow. We work from the outside in. We just need to figure out the attendance before picking a venue. Then the date. Then—yikes, this is a lot.” You ran a hand through your hair. “Do you care?”

“What do you mean, ‘do I care?’”

“I mean, I don’t know. Sometimes guys are like ‘I don’t care,’ and—I don’t know I watch a lot of TLC and HGTV.” Light brought a hand to your waist and pulled you into his side. He rolled his head in your direction.

“Do you really think I am anything like those guys on TV?” You pushed his head away.

“Yeah, sorry. Stupid question. So, what about—.”

“Formal.”

“Huh?”

“The ‘vibe.’ Formal.” His fingers drummed against your hip. You shouldn’t be too surprised he would want it to be professional and classy given he’s been dressing for his job since high school. Though, if you wanted to pose an argument, could you? Not that you minded the formal idea, but maybe your freedom has given you some of your courage back to test your limits.

“What about rustic? Like country-side.”

“You expect me to be married in a barn?”

“Rustic does not mean getting married in a barn,” you laughed. “It’s what I’ve always imagined my wedding would look like. Maybe a sunflower field or horses. Outside under a huge oak tree on a summer day.” A smile grew on your face picturing it, but as Light remained silent, it fell into a pensive frown. Your brother would have walked you up the aisle. “Though, I guess nothing has really turned out as I’ve imagined.” Whatever moment of courage flared in you moments before died. “Formal is fine. Then the colors should coincide.”

“Gold and black.” You grinned quietly.

“Yeah, that’s—um—on theme. It’s-it’s good. I’m going to go get a pen and paper to write this all down. I think there are notebooks in the drawer in the closet.” You tore away from his side and sped to the closet. Shutting the door behind you, you released your wet and shaking breaths in the darkness of the small space. Warm tears spilled down your cheeks, and you laughed because you had no idea why you were even crying. Still, you wrapped your arms around yourself and silently squeezed your eyes shut to push them all out. The door opened behind you, flooding the closet with light. “I’m sorry. I s-swear I’m not crying. I’m not I’m—.”

Arms wrapped around your own. Gently, he guided you to move them to allow his own to take their place. He nudges his head to slot between your neck and shoulder, but he, for once, does not say anything. He need not to. This was to comfort you, sure, but you knew better to think it was a sign of care. He had to do this. To be his true, ugly self all the time would simply eradicate the pretty picture he paints that distracts you from reality. Light had to convince you that there was something there that was not twisted, raw possession. Maybe there was a time it would have genuinely worked too, but the time has long passed. All there was left to do was believe in the known lie that this was love.

And that went both ways. What you felt towards him… you called it love, but even that would be too simple. Fear. Hate. Loneliness. Were they parts of love as well? If so, then maybe love was the right word. It had to be. You couldn’t be marrying a man you hated, that you feared. You had to love him. That was the only… it was the truth. All those years, you did. You’ve loved him all this time. It was the truth.  You loved him. You would pledge the rest of your life to him. That was the truth. It was. It was it was it was it was it was it was it was—.

“I love you, Light.” A kiss to your neck was your only answer.  

  No more planning was done that day. Once your tears dried, Light led you to the bathroom upstairs by hand in silence. You followed his footsteps as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and stepped back into the space of the bedroom. Your eyes followed his form as he opened the drawer in the dresser and placed yours and his pajamas on top. He changed himself first, unbothered by your shameless staring. Then, he turned to you.

With unmatched gentility, he gripped the hem of your shirt and slowly brought it up to your abdomen. You rose your arms to help him disrobe it. He walked around you and unsnapped your bra, throwing it alongside your shirt. Back in your view, Light motioned for you to raise your arms, and he slid your long pajama shirt down your body. Before moving to your lower body, you stepped back and discarded them yourselves and put on your own bottoms. There was a small smile on Light’s face as you turned back to him.

Despite it being the early evening, you both settled in next to each other on the bed. Light reached for the remote and began playing a movie you both had already saw from a time far different. You did not question a single thing as you nuzzled into his embrace. The warmth of his body was no lie even if the lips that sought yours were. The kisses were long. They were short. They were deep. They were shallow. They were consuming. They were fluttering. They were right. With his hand behind your head, Light devoured you, but he did no more. He did not move to your neck. His hands did not deviate below your shoulders. His show was… real. It was. When he would push far, he would filter back to shallow. When his teeth nipped too hard, his tongue would follow to soothe the pain. It was all him. His taste. His scent.  

He did not do this to Misa, to Takada. This was for you. You were his. No one else could have ever said so and told the truth. You smiled into the next kiss, turning your head to take him deeper. For all the fighting, the confidence those women had that he was theirs, and where are they now? Where has their confidence gotten them? Burned. Removed. Gone, yet here you were, alive. In a game you never wanted to play but was the front runner, you won. They got themselves killed or wherever they are. It was the truth. It was. Lips parting from his for air, you let yourself immerse into the brown of his eyes. Chests rising and falling together, breaths intermingled, this was right. It was. This was the God of the New World, and this was Light Yagami.

It was. 

“Gold and black,” you said. “With hints of purple.”

  “A double date?” You stared up at him the next morning, head nestled into the cusp of his arm and shoulder. “With your sister and her boyfriend?” You nodded.

“Impulsive idea, but it’ll look good when she tells my cousins and everyone. PR, you know? Not that you don’t already have a lot with my family who hasn’t even met you, but she talks to them a lot. Might help the day of. Might not, but… I would appreciate it. Her boyfriend is a lawyer.”

“Oh?” You nodded.

“His step-brother was too, but he died. We think. He’s missing, but he thinks that he’s dead. Well, that’s what Rose told me, anyway.” You fiddled with the fabric of his shirt that lied over his chest.

“What is his name?”

“Sato.” When you look back up again, Light was hyper-focused on the ceiling. “Do you know him?” He scoffed, moving his hand that was near your back to come forth and flick you in the forehead. You lost your head cushion in the process as he moves to get up. “She wants to set it up this or next weekend, if you’re free.” Light’s muscles flex as he stretches.

“Saturday is fine.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll call Rose, then.”

  The restaurant was one you had heard of many times but haven’t had the chance to go to yet. It was a more casual setting, but it was packed. However, Light used his magic to get a booth in the far corner. You slid next to him. “I don’t know how you do this.”

“When will they be here? I don’t like to wait for people.” Thoughts of your forgotten wedding planning appointment sail through your mind.

“Rose is always late, but she’ll show.” Light hummed in response and pulled at his jacket sleeves. It was only five minutes before you saw your sister happily heading towards your table, a stressed man of her age following behind. You and Light rose to greet her with a hug that you knew Light hated.

“Hi, Y/N. Light! It’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you?”

“Amazing. Anyway, Y/N, Light, this is Sato.” You did a double-take at Light’s expression but shook it off as you greeted him. “I’ve told him a lot so, don’t be surprised of how much he knows of you two.”

“All good things,” Sato reassured. The four of you sat at the booth, and the waiter was immediately present to ask for drinks. “Though, it is great to meet the brilliant Light Yagami. Your work on that missing persons case was astounding. Who would have thought to connect the sister to the missing luggage and the misplaced car? I read over the case file.” Light smiled and laughed.

“Thank you. I try not to talk too much work outside of it, but that was a nasty case.” Rose groaned.

“We get it. You’re smart, Light. We know.” The waiter returned briefly with the beverages. “You’re lucky that you’re nice, or else I would have beat you up in college.”

“College?”

“Light, Y/N, and I are all alumni of To-Oh, though they’re both a few years younger than me.” Sato looked impressed at the three of you. “It’s where their love blossomed.” You shook your head and hid your face behind your sleeve. “Don’t get embarrassed, Y/N! It’s true. Anyway, Light, what are you up to these days anyway? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Wedding planning. Work. Nothing unusual, except maybe the wedding planning. That’s not really usual, is it?” Light laughed. Silence followed as you all scrutinized the menu. Light leaned over to you. “Do you want to split this?” Your normal answer would be absolutely not, but the gleam in his eye was unmistakable. Without even looking at the menu item, you nodded. “Alright.” The waiter returned to take the orders before leaving once again. “So, you’re a lawyer?”

“Yes! I used to be a criminal lawyer and did public defense here and there, but I’ve moved to elder law. A lot less stressful for the most part.” Your fiancé leaned forward, placing his chin in his palm.

“I see. Why the switch, if I may ask?”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. Criminals are dealt with without much help from lawyers. There’s a bigger force than judges and courts casting justice. Staying in the business is just financial suicide, especially with crime down the way it is.” Sato’s face fell. “My step-brother too. He was a criminal lawyer, but he disappeared a while ago. He was my biggest influence growing up. Couldn’t get a case without it reminding me of him, so I switched as well.” Light’s eyes did not move from his own.

“That’s a shame. I’m sorry. I lost my father as well, and Y/N and Rose lost their brother, but that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? The dead wouldn’t want us to cease our lives because of them. I know my father wouldn’t, at least.” Sato nodded.

“Same for Mikami.”

…What?

Light leaned back in the booth. It was nothing to Rose and Sato, but to you, it said mission accomplished. He crossed his arms and gave you only a second-long glance before focusing back on the company. You, though, you were choking on air and frozen to your seat. Though you’ve never met Mikami, having only seen him outside of the warehouse that… day, Light told you about him, and about he was almost the reason for his death should your father and you not been involved.

“…Y/N. Y/N!” Rose’s shrill voice cut you from your thoughts. “Thought we lost you there. Something on your mind?” You shook your head and laughed nervously. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you dared not look at Light.

“No, sorry. Wedding things. What were we talking about?”

“I was talking about my step-brother and Light’s dad. Both of them were men of justice. I could see where you get your motivation and talent from then. Having your father as chief of police must have been a strong pull in the criminal justice path.”

“And your brother. He sounded like a good man.” Sato shrugged, scratching his nose with the crook of his finger.

“Yes, he was. He’s one of the main reasons I believe in what I believe in today. He loved Kira. Worshipped him, and when he died, I started to think the same. There was foul play in my brother’s disappearance, and I just hope that Kira has brought them to justice.” Your fists clenched under the table. Light placed a soft hand on your shaking fist and tightened his grip as you refused to loosen yours. “There’s simply no evidence. He was doing nothing different. Acting the same. Then one day he moved plans because he had somewhere he had to be. Then he was just gone.”  Light’s hand was at the point of hurting your own, so you finally loosened your fist. He still did not let go.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Sato.”

“Has it crossed your desk, Light?” Rose asked. “Sorry. You’re with the NPA, so I thought maybe you would have seen it.” Light shook his head.

“When was this again?”

“January. A little more than a year ago.”

“It must have been around the time… something happened.” Oh, around the time you watched his brother and all your ‘friends’ die? Light must have sensed your discomfort and moved his hand from yours to grasp your thigh and rub back and forth. “It was a rough patch for me. I took off a lot of time then.”

“Oh, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I remember I didn’t see either of you until the funeral, and even after…”

“Please, forget we said anything.” Sato finished for her. Light smiled and waved him off with his free hand.  

“It’s fine. You didn’t know. Still, I can look into your brother and see what I can pull. If I can help you find closure, then I’ll do my best.” With an earnest voice and an award-winning smile, he even had this man he just met looking at him like he had a halo and wings.

“I… really appreciate it. I can’t believe you’re actually as nice as they say. You know, sometimes highly accredited detectives can be… dicks. Thank you,” Sato’s gaze turned to you, “and congratulations to you both! I forgot to say before.” You grinned politely but could not speak.

“Ah, thank you. We’re still in early planning process, but we’re getting there.” He nudged you with his shoulder, and once again you grinned politely. “Anyway, how did you two meet? I hate to just talk about ourselves, though I can go on forever…”

You hardly spoke through the dinner, only responding when you were directly addressed. It was a good thing Light and you split a meal, as you couldn’t stomach more than a few bites. Light would squeeze your thigh when you had to respond. For the rest of the time, you were zoned out, focused on the cracks in the table, the movement of the servers, and anything else but the interaction between Light and everyone’s brother’s murderer. When it was getting too obvious your attention was purposely away from the table, you played with Light’s fingers that were on your thigh until Light offered to handle the bill and you were on your feet wishing your goodbyes.

“Are you okay?” Rose whispered as you hugged. Wordlessly, you nodded. “How are you, really?” You sighed.

“I’m fine. I promise.” You glanced to her boyfriend and your fiancé who both waited for the two of you. “Light will take care of me. Don’t worry.” Reluctant, she nodded and followed the men outside of the restaurant where you went your separate ways. You watched Rose lean happily into Sato, hands interlocked, while Light had a simple hand on your hip with his back poised and straight.

“You knew.”

“Of course, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You found out, didn’t you?” You exhaled through your nose.

“Was it because of what I said? About telling her?” Light did not respond. Parting from you and entering the driver’s seat, he did not regard you until he put the car into drive.

“Telling her was out of the question in the first place. The rest was a problem that solved itself. You know now, at least, of what would happen the moment you tell her a single thing. Risking her happiness, her and his life.”

“But not mine.” It slipped before you could even think about the words you just said. Light pondered them, eyes narrowing in thought as he weaved through traffic.

“But not yours. Never yours.” You did not know whether his words were the truth or more pretty lies, but you opted for the former. It brought you comfort, after all. 

“Do you like the idea of dark flowers with gold details?”  

[cosmiclatte28]

I Tried (Hendery x you)

Warning : Sicheng is not Winwin here,  lmao imagine they are two different people. 

:) here goes nothing... 

Hendery sacrifices his ears to rush to the hospital who called him that you just got into an accident. Well his manager yells at him for running away without answering the question. He was wrapping up today's practice when the phone rang and he picked up the unknown number only to gasp when he heard the news. "Kun-ge, I have to go to the hospital. (Y/n) got into an accident." the goofy young man was somehow gone, replaced with a worried grown up responsible boyfriend. "Accident?" Kun also sounds surprised, Kun nods "Just go, should we call manager hyung?" Hendery shakes his head, "I'll take a cab. Bye" and wears his jacket then before the other members can flood him questions, he flies to the stairs and rushes down. He's biting his lips in worry when the taxi speeds up to the mentioned hospital. It was luckily close to his office and once he gets into the emergency room lobby, he pays the fee and walks straight to the receptionist. His mask covers his face and hides his identity, "I am the emergency contact of (y/n), may I know where is she and what happened to her?" The nurse quickly nods her head, "Oh she's not in a bad condition. She just sprained her ankle, but we have to check for her head because her fall is quite hard." "Where can I see her?" Hendery slides his panic aside but his fingers are tapping the desk furiously. "She's doing an x-ray right now. I'll let you know when she is moved to a room already." with that being said Hendery can only sit on the waiting room and bites his thumb anxiously. He wishes your head is okay and your ankle sprain is not bad, you're training for the winter ballet recital. He brushes his hair and sighs, you worked hard for the Sugar Plum Fairy role and you sprained your ankle. He has to probably deal with you crying over the fact that you won't be able to train for god knows how long.

Hendery supports you with all his might when it comes to your recital. He knows how hard it is to get a role, and this time you got the best role. He was ready to come and cheer for you, and hug you after giving you a bouquet of flower for the perfect performance, but that might not happen. "I am dead if the doctor says she can't perform." That's all Kunhang can think of. He was sitting on the chair, almost falling asleep if not for a tap on his shoulder. He shoots his head up and looks carefully of the man standing over him. "Hendery right? (y/n)'s boyfriend?" he asks nicely. Hendery nods his head, who is he and how can he know your relationship with him. "I'm Sicheng, her dance partner. I'm sorry you have to rush to the hospital this late." Hendery shakes his head, oh this is the man who dances with you? he looks good, no wonder you can stay at the practice room for days. "No, It's okay I've finished the training today. How did she fall?" Sicheng sighs, "She overworked herself. I've told her to rest, but she's stubborn and she continued practicing. (Y/n) attempted her solo part and I with the other dancers were already sitting down tired from the class." Hendery listens attentively, well you can have your ears closed when you want to do something he's not surprised. Sicheng continues, "She has this part where she has to do petite batterie on pointe. She was doing well before, but maybe her legs gave up, so she fell. We were running to catch her, but we failed." Hendery gasps, "And her head hits the floor and her ankle was twisted?" Sicheng nods, "Yes, she doesn't want to go to the hospital actually, but we insist since her head hits the floor." Hendery smiles though it is hidden by his mask, "You made a great decision. I know she will go to her psychiatric and get her ankle fixed in one crack, but we need to see her head condition. Thank you Sicheng, you can leave if you want. I'm so thankful you brought her here." Sicheng tells him it is nothing and left after wishing you don't have major injuries. Hendery's phone lights up with texts and he reads one by one, the group chat is busy asking your condition and when he almost answer them, the nurse calls his name. The man springs to his legs and follow the nurse to a room where he can see you talking with the doctor. "Hendery!" your voice was bright and cheerful, that makes him smile. "Hey there, our sugar plum fairy did not want to listen and look what happened." he stands by your bedside. The doctor laughs, "She's in a good state. Her head has no fractures no internal bleeding. Her ankle however is sprained. It's luckily not bad." Hendery lets out a breath he didn't know he's been holding in and rubs a hand over your hair, "Great thing I do not need to see you cry because the doctor bans you from dancing." You laugh, "He said if I fix this tomorrow to a chiropractic I'd be able to dance again in four days." The doctor shakes his head, "She needs a week rest actually, but she's forcing me to say four." Your boyfriend playfully pinches you, "How could you do that to the doctor" You yell and slap his hand away. The doctor leaves after saying you can go home and just make sure to compress the swollen ankle. With that, you are in a taxi with Hendery going back to your house. He has informed his leader he'll stay at yours tonight to make sure you're okay. Once in the house, you walk carefully with Hendery's help and he nicely places you in bed. "You want to shower?" he asks while taking out his own outfits to change into. You nod your head, "I can do it, I'll just not put weight into my left foot. Help me into the toilet and just give me a set of fresh clothes." Kunhang quickly does as you said and when you're yelling from the restroom he takes the queue to bring you back to the bed. "Thanks, I did not know I'll be this much of a burden." you shyly admit you regret overworking yourself. Your man tells you not to worry and kisses your forehead, "Sleep first if you're tired. I'll wash up and join you after this." Your tired body makes you sleep faster, Kunhang finds you already calm when he appears from the steamy shower. He hugs you through the night and the next morning when the sun greets you, you feel the right side of the bed cold. Your hand feels the cold fabric and you wake up confused, where is he? Did he leave you before saying good morning. Just as you want to leave the bed, the door opens and come in Kunhang with a tray of breakfast. You smile but quickly frown when you see the plate he puts on your lap. "Good morning! I made breakfast." You snort, "Morning but what is this? Can you not make a toast?" you laugh at his red face. Well he tried, he failed most of the toast and this was the best. He shakes his head and just rubs a hand on his neck, "You really did not know how to make a toast?!" that is a good laugh you had in the moment and Hendery was super annoyed. "It's the best one okay, I tried my best. Just eat, I made you an appointment at ten." He takes a bite of the toast on your plate. You want to protest, but he was faster, "What you're not eating it and I am hungry." With a shake on your head, you start eating his toast and it's not as bad as it looks. Though he really needs to improve, you secretly likes his attention and thoughts. "Thank you," you whisper after finishing the half burnt toast and the orange juice. He gives you his loving eyes and smoothens your hair, "Anything to make you laugh. Let's get ready. I am excused from today's schedule." Your eyes shine in delight, "So we can spend the day together? Just cuddling and being lazy?" He nods his head, "Yup. After we fix your ankle." You peck his cheek and receives the brightest smile from the funniest man you love. "You're the best, honey."

 eeekk what is this, thanks for making it this far tho <3

[the1918]

Bespoke, Chapter 5 is taking me a stupid amount of time to finish, and I feel so bad about it that I’m going post post a teaser here :) This is about a quarter of the chapter. Hope you like it!

Teaser for Bespoke, Chapter 5

[Story No. 2 in the Compatibile A/B/O Universe]

Pairing: Shrunkyclunks (Cap Steve Rogers / Modern Bucky Barnes), of the bearded Alpha Steve and Omega twink!Bucky subvariety

Rating: Story Rated E for Explicit, this excerpt Rated T for Teen

Tags: A/B/O, sugar daddy!Steve

***

December 15

Thursday - 2:15 P.M.

Elevators in medical buildings always smelled like rubbing alcohol and iodine, which was definitely not Bucky’s favorite smell. He breathed through his mouth instead of his nose as the elevator descended the fourteen floors from Dr. Pete’s office suite, down to the ground floor.

Bucky had left work early that day to catch his monthly blood work appointment. Unpleasantly sterile smells aside, he was breathing especially easy that afternoon, for two reasons. First, he had finally wrapped up the enormous project he’d been working on in his lab for almost eight months, and he’d passed it off to the StarkTech testing department. Getting that load off his plate was a massive relief, and it came at the perfect time; he could now embark on his Vermont vacation (tomorrow!) with Steve and leave behind the weight of work on his shoulders. Second, the results of Bucky’s blood work had shown his hormone levels right where Dr. Pete had expected them to be, based on the Heat time-table they were anticipating. No early Heat.

Bucky was more stress-free than he could remember feeling in six months.

As he stepped out of the elevator to the ground floor, Bucky immediately felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out to find a text message from Steve.

 [2:15 P.M.] Stevie: Done at Pete’s yet?

 Instead of walking out onto the cold, winter-time city streets, Bucky found a bench in the lobby and sat down to respond.

 [2:16 P.M.] Sent: Yep, just finished.

[2:16 P.M.] Stevie: Great. Any surprises?

 Bucky knew Steve was referring to his blood work. He typed out his response knowing Steve would be relieved by the results, just as Bucky was.

 [2:17 P.M.] Sent: Nope. Everything was where Dr. P thought it would be.

[2:18 P.M.] Sent: He says I look on track for April, maybe February if it comes early.

 Bucky watched his phone. There was no response from Steve for a while, and Bucky worried that he may have spooked him with details about their time-table. The two hadn’t talked about Bucky’s next Heat much at all since their first and only therapy visit with Dr. Welsh, but Bucky knew it was hanging over their heads. If his Heat came within the conservative margin of error that Dr. Pete had estimated, they could theoretically be dealing with it in less than 60 days. With it would come Steve’s rut, and if they didn’t make any significant, tangible progress on the knotting issue before then, they could very well be dealing with something they weren’t ready for emotionally. The pressure, however silent, was there.

His phone vibrated again just as he was pulling out his gloves to head out onto the street.

 [2:22 P.M.] Stevie: Good to hear. You got any other plans this afternoon?

 Bucky frowned. He wondered if Steve was going to ask him for a late lunch, and he wished he hadn't already eaten.

 [2:23 P.M.] Sent: No. Was gonna come home for the day, help you out with the lighting installation.

[2:23 P.M.] Sent: Why?

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: Because you have plans now.

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: [Blue Serenity Spa]  - You’ve Been Sent a Link on Google Maps!

His confused frown deepened as he clicked the link. It took him to the location of some sort of day spa in northwest Brooklyn, not far from their apartment. Before Bucky could text back a ‘???’, another text from Steve came through.

 [2:25 P.M.] Stevie: You have an open-ended appointment starting at 3:15 P.M. Any and all services you ask for. I got you scheduled for a massage already, but you can change that if you want.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: They have my card info. Don’t you dare to even think about looking at the price list.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: Better go catch the next train baby ;)

 Flabbergasted, thumbs paralyzed and seemingly unable to type out another text, Bucky decided to just hit the call button on Steve’s contact. He placed the phone to his ear and he suddenly felt antsy as he waited for Steve to pick up. There was no ‘hello’ when the ringing stopped, only Steve’s teasing voice.

“I thought I told you to head for the train?”

“Steve,” Bucky began, emphatically. “What is this? You booked me a spa appointment?”

Steve was silent on the other end of the line for a long moment, and Bucky wondered if it was because he was more nervous than his confident communication let on.

“Yeah, angel. I did. Look,” Steve sighed, “you really don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d like this, I’m sorry. I just thought—”

“Woah,” Bucky interjected. “Hang on, I never said I didn’t like it. I just… I guess I don’t know why you want — why you think I deserved—”

“—You don’t know why I think you deserved to be pampered, Buck?” Steve interrupted, incredulous. “Really? After you just worked your ass off at work for months to finish a project that no one else could have even dreamed of doing? The technology that Tony’s been yapping to me about since before I even knew you?”

“It’s still technically in R&D,” Bucky muttered, blushing. Steve had always been supportive and enthusiastic about Bucky’s engineering work, but it still never ceased to make him feel a little bashful when Steve got to actually raving about him and his skills.

“Yeah, and the finished product is going to be amazing, because Bucky fucking Barnes developed it.”

Bucky laughed and fiddled with a thread on his sweater.

“You… you’re sure? I’ve never really been to a spa like that before, and it looked really nice on Google…”

“And it will be nice for you, which is exactly what I want.”

“Stevie…” Bucky smiled to himself and shook his head, a little at a loss for words. “I really was going to come home and help, you know. It takes more than two hands to put up some of those bigger fixtures.”

“Doesn’t have to be your hands, though. That’s why Sam is here.” Sure enough, in the background of the phone call Bucky suddenly heard Sam’s voice, hollering something that sounded a lot like, ‘go get a fucking rub down, Barnes!’.

Steve chuckled, and then Bucky thought he could hear him walking away.

“Also…” Steve said, volume lower, “last night, you put a plug in your ass and begged me to nail you on Tony’s conference room table. I think treating my baby to a spa appointment is the least I can do when you’ve just fulfilled multiple fantasies I didn’t even know I had.”

Bucky barked out a laugh at that. He looked down at the clock on his new smart watch—another gift from Steve—and realized that he really did have to head for the train if he was actually going to do this. He stood up and grabbed his bag.

“Alright… alright,” he conceded. Steve’s smile was almost audible through the phone. “You’ve convinced me. Thank you, Stevie.”

“No thanks necessary, baby. I wish you would let me treat you like this all the time, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Finally walking out onto the cold and busy sidewalk, Bucky was just about to say his goodbye and hang up when Steve chimed in again.  

“By the way, I just put in a call to Tony. You’ll be hearing from him very soon.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. “Shit. Did he figure out what we did? I mean, cleanup was a bitch, and we definitely had to throw away that undershirt after using it as towel, but I think we did a pretty good job covering our tracks? God, I’m gonna be in such deep shit with him—”

“No, nothing like that,” Steve chuckled. “I mean, there’s no way he doesn’t know, but he also knows damn well that he better come to me first if he’s got a problem with it. Besides… He probably considers it payback.”

“Payback? For what?”

“A story for another time,” Steve promised. “Are you at the station yet?”

“I’m walking there right now.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go. Have a relaxing time, baby. You deserve it. And use your time there, okay? I don’t want to see you home before six. Hell— keep ‘em ‘till they close, if you can manage it.”

“Okay,” Bucky laughed. “Thank you, Steve. Seriously… and I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I really love you when you let me spoil you.” Bucky could practically hear Steve wink. “Bye, honey.”

 As Bucky walked the familiar route to the subway station, his phone dinged again, this time from Tony.

 [2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: I literally cannot look at your face after what you did to my conference room with your jackass boyfriend.

[2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Do not come in tomorrow.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Consider it extra paid vacation, you disgusting pond scum.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Seriously. I better not see you or your vile beau again until January.

 Bucky probably looked like an idiot laughing so hard alone in public, but he didn’t care.

 [2:46 P.M.] Sent: Thanks Tony. Merry Christmas.

[2:47 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Yeah, and Happy fucking New Year.

 Bucky stuffed his phone in his pocket and abandoned himself to his thoughts as he jogged down the steps into the station, marveling at the wonder that was his boyfriend. Sometimes, he still could not believe that Steve was his. Steve—who had not only been a supportive partner to Bucky from the very beginning, but who was also a powerful and attentive lover, and—most importantly—the single greatest source of Bucky’s joy. By the time he reached the subway platform, waiting for the train, the sudden enormity of his gratitude for Steve had begun to bubble up and spread within the depths of Bucky’s chest, and he felt fit to combust with it. He had to remind himself just to breathe.

How had he gotten so lucky?

***

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek! Their relationship is about to head in a very special direction, starting in this chapter.

[devilatmydoor]

love is fatal - part 11

a/n- sorry it took so long for this update- ideas were not flowing and neither were my words lol. i hope you like it, let me know if you want to be on the taglist & what you think!

previous chapters -  part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 

word count- 4.7k +

Warnings- swearing, ANGST, hints of smut & cigarette use

The powerful sound of music played in the background as she finished cleaning her room, she paused what was playing in hopes of Grayson returning. She had gotten used to him being gone even though she lived with him; some days it felt like Calum lived with her and Grayson was stopping by. She finished in her room as she walked down the hallway, sighing as Hershey was sleeping on the couch waiting for him to return home. She knew she didn’t need to know where he was all of the time but she wasn’t used to him being gone more often than not.

She set her phone down on the counter as she walked to the fridge to grab her leftover lasagna and took off the lid and set it in the microwave. She set it in the timer and grabbed a bottle of water before closing the fridge. Hershey woke up as she stretched walking towards her wagging her tail, she bent down to pet her as she waited for her food to be ready.

Once the timer went off she stood up straight as she grabbed it from the microwave, the warmth from the plastic shocked her as she set it down on the counter. She grabbed her phone and texted Calum.

She shook her head as she grabbed her fork and water bottle, she set her food down on the table in the living room. She grabbed her phone while Hershey followed her back into the living room. Turning the t.v on she switched to the Entertainment channel and smiled when her favorite reality show Botched was on, she hadn’t watched in a while and missed the show. She ate her dinner as Hershey begged for her food like she always did, she checked her phone to see if Grayson magically texted her his whereabouts. She finished her dinner and put the empty container with her fork in the sink before returning to the couch as she got fully immersed in Botched. Hershey climbed on the couch as she covered them both in her blanket as she got comfortable.

Finishing the last episode of Botched she looked at her watch to see it was past 2AM and she hadn’t heard from Grayson. She finished her skincare before returning to the living room in hopes of his return. She sat down next to Hershey who was passed out on the couch. She sighed as she went into her room and plugged in her phone before walking down the hallway and hearing the front door open.

Grayson's eyes met hers as she walked back into the living room, "Gray where have you been?"

"Out.”

"Gray are you aware of what time it is?" She pressed as she crossed her arms. "Are you aware you're not my mom?" He barked as he took off his shoes.

"What has gotten into you? Calum has been here more than you have and you live here." She argued

"And when you're not here you're at his place."

"But you always know where I am, I always text you and let you know" She pressed

"What's your point Ronnie?"

"I never know where you are and what's going on with you anymore.” She blurted as she leaned on the couch.

"Oh so now you care."

She wasn’t used to Grayson talking to her the way he was, she was used to them talking it out rather than arguing. Whenever he was like this, he was either cranky from lack of sleep or hanging out with someone she didn’t like which was usually his ex. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Ronnie it's too late for this, I need sleep.” He sighed as he threw his hands up.

"You should've thought about that before coming home this late" She shook her head.

"I was out with friends and I lost track of time. you do it all the time and it's totally fine but when I do it's a crime!" He argued

"That's not what I meant, I'm worried about you. You're never home anymore. What's going on?"

"What's going on is I ran into Jaiden, the day after midsummer's and he had a huge black eye from your boyfriend. You didn't even bother to tell me he was in town!" Grayson scolded as he shook his head.

"That's what this is about, Jaiden? Are you kidding right now gray? You hate him!" She argued as she rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't matter, I still should've known about him being in town and what happened at midsummer's!" He argued as he blinked repeatedly, a sure sign he was lying.

"Can this wait until I get some sleep?" She asked as she stood up straight.

“Fine.” He stormed off and she took a deep breath before exhaling.

___

The ambient sound of music playing in the background as her and Penelope shopped at Westfield Mall as part of their girls day, their first stop was always Abercrombie and Fitch, her niece's favorite.  “Where did you want to go to lunch?” She asked as she looked through clothes on the rack in front of her.

“I was thinking of Carmines, it’s been a while” Penelope mentioned as she grabbed a tank top.

“Oh it has been a while, let’s go there.” She expressed as she looked for a dress.

“I hope Jesse is working!” Penelope chirped as she grabbed hair scrunchies.

“Me too!” She smiled as she grabbed a red dress and showed her, “What do you think?”

“100% yes, Uncle Cal is going to love that on you.” Penelope remarked with a smirk.

She giggled and playfully shook her head, “I’m getting this for myself, not just to wear for Calum.”

Penelope gave her a look and laughed, “Uh huh. How is Uncle Cal doing?”

They walked towards the cashier, “He’s good, I haven’t seen him since Monday. Our schedules have been all over. Speaking of Calum, don’t tell him we’re here.” She blushed as they waited in line.

“At the mall or at this store?” Penelope asked confused as to what she meant.

“This store! Could you imagine if he found out his girlfriend was shopping here? He’d never let me live it down.” She insisted as she grabbed her wallet.

“That’s true, your outfit doesn’t match the aesthetic of the store.” Penelope teased followed by a giggle.

“Not even close! You fit in perfectly Ms. Brentwood.” She teased as they both laughed as they walked up to the register.

Veronica checked out as Penelope stood behind her waiting her turn, as she finished she shoved her bag in her purse before Penelope walked up to the cashier. She grabbed her phone knowing that Calum was with the boys.She smiled at her lockscreen which was Calum asleep on her bed with Hershey, a rare moment when she was awake before him.

They left the store after Penelope finished her transaction and they walked to the next destination, Old Navy. Penelope looked for jeans while Veronica looked for clothes for her nephew Theo’s 3rd birthday. Once they finished they went to Carmine’s Restaurant and Bar, which was their go to whenever in Beverly Hills. As they sat at their table, she recognized most of the staff and one of the bartenders waved as he smiled, “Can you believe you’ve known him since you were 10?”

“Wait I’ve known Jesse for that long? I can’t believe he’s worked here this long.” Penelope joked as he made his way to their table.

“Jessie James!” She teased with a smile as she got up from her table.

“Veronica Mars!! How are you?” He asked as he gave her a hug before Penelope followed suit.

“Let me guess, you two are having another girls day?” He asked as they returned to their seats.

They nodded in agreement as they both laughed, “Of course! How’s your shift?” She smiled as she drank her coke.

“Just started, I’m training a new bartender this week, what’s going on with you girls?!” Jesse asked

“She has a new boyfriend, he pierced her-” Penelope started before Veronica stopped her.

“Penny is a senior this year!” She blurted as she turned bright red.

“Smoothe Veronica, what’s he like?” Jesse asked as he sat up straight.

“He’s the best, you wanna see a picture of him?” She asked as she got out her phone and looked through her pictures.

“Of course, does he do tattoos or just piercings?” He asked with a smile.

“He does both.” She smiled before showing him one of the first selfies they took together.

“You two are so cute, you should bring him here! I need to meet him so I can approve of him” He teased as he got up from his seat.

She laughed as she smiled, “I’ll definitely bring him soon, still working nights?”

He nodded before sighing, “Of course, this is my only day shift. I will see you girls later, I miss you already.” He smiled as he went back to the bar.

“Bye Jesse!” They said in unison as they ordered their usual without looking at the menu. Penelope showed Veronica outfit ideas for her senior pictures photoshoot as she told her where they’d be taking photos and she helped her narrow down to at least 3. When their food came, Veronica put her phone away trying to remind herself Calum was busy and she’d hear from him whenever he wasn’t too busy. Penelope asked about their trip to the resort and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, which was something she was still getting used to.

They finished their lunch just in time for their nail appointment, Penelope and Veronica picked out colors for their nails, Veronica picked white to switch things up. The chemical smell of acrylic strangely comforted Veronica as she attempted not to overthink, the background music an T.V playing distracted her as she closed her eyes fully relaxing. She washed her hands when her nail tech advised her too and she returned so she could add the top coat.

Penelope already paid for her nails before Veronica could even get the chance to, she got out her wallet and paid for her nails and tipped her tech before leaving the salon with Penelope. “Can we go to Goodwill?”

“Duh!” She beamed as she grabbed her keys from her purse and they walked to her car and she unlocked it. She got in the front seat and Penelope got in the passenger seat before plugging her phone in and turning on her bluetooth.

She drove to the Goodwill closest to Penelope’s house while Penelope played music, they sang off key as she drove trying not to get too distracted by Penelope changing songs halfway through, “There is no doubt you are my neice.”

“Not a doubt in my mind.” Penelope teased followed by them both  laughing  as she pulled into the parking lot of Goodwill before parking, she cut the engine as Penelope unplugged her phone. She took off her seatbelt as she grabbed her purse before getting out of the car as Penelope took off her seatbelt.

Penelope opened the door and they walked inside going towards the clothes, “I love how we just went clothes shopping and yet, we still end up here.”

“I expect nothing less from us.” Veronica joked as she shook her head as she grabbed tank tops and then walked over to the sweaters.

“What are you doing for Halloween this year? Please tell me you and Callum are doing couples costumes!” Penelope asked as she showed her a jean jacket

She raised her eyebrows as she smiled, “That’s cute! I have zero idea what him and I are doing!”

“Ronnie, you have no idea what you guys are doing and it’s almost September?” Penelope gushed as she continued shopping with Veronica. After spending almost an hour in Goodwill, Veronica drove Penelope home while helping her bring her bags in and she spent time talking to her sister before heading home.

She changed into a pair sweatpants and white tank top and finished taking off her makeup as she felt her phone vibrate, she smiled when she realized it was Calum.

Calum POV

His hand rested on her thigh as he stared at her while she drove to her place, he smiled as she sang off key to the music playing on the radio, “Thank you for picking me up”

“Of course, I missed you” She smiled as she rested her hand on his thigh as she stopped at the red light.

“I missed you more” He smiled before squeezing her thigh as he watched her pull into her driveway.

“Not a chance.” She kissed his cheek as she opened the garage, she parked before cutting the engine. She took off her seat belt while he took his off, she kissed his lips softly as she smiled.

“C’mon angel, let’s go inside.” He beamed as he got out of her car and she followed after him. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked towards the door.

She opened the door and she led them inside as he closed the door behind them, he followed her into the kitchen as he checked his phone, “Baby do you have an extra charger I can use?”

“Of course, there should be one in my nightstand!” She smiled before kissing his cheek and he smiled before walking down the hallway towards her room. He walked inside to the side of the bed where her nightstand was and opened the top drawer and the first thing he saw wasn’t a charger at all, it was a black sex toy- a vibrator at that. Needless to say he was surprised she had one so close to where she slept. He searched for the extra charger but he couldn’t find it, so he grabbed the vibrator and hid it behind his back as he stepped out of her room. As he walked into the kitchen he saw her sitting on the counter top. She smiled when she saw him, “Did you find the charger?”

“Not quite,”He smirked as he walked up to her before bringing his arm to his torso showing her what he found, “I found this instead, care to explain pretty girl?”

“What exactly do you need me to explain?” She winked

“Have you used it recently?” He teased as he waved it at her before setting it on the counter before stepping between her legs as his hand rested on the nape of her neck.

She held his face in his hands while caressing his cheek, “Couple of days ago. Did you wanna use it in the bedroom baby?”

His cheeks turned pink at her suggestion, realizing he wasn’t completely against it. “Hmm, not a bad idea, pretty girl. Do you have anything you could use on me?”

“I have a couple ideas but you and I could go shopping.” She winked before kissing his jaw softly.

“I like that idea baby.” He smiled before she wrapped her legs around his waist as he held her waist. Their lips connected in a passionate kiss as her fingers played with his curls.

-- Even though his and Veronica’s schedules had been conflicting for weeks they made sure they saw each other once a week to do something, this weekend was Veronica’s choice. She suggested they go to her favorite bar and restaurant and he was all for it, he got ready in record time before picking her up.

His eyes glued to her as she stepped out of her front door with her black clutch, “Hi handsome.” She smiled before locking the door behind her.

“Hi beautiful, you took my breath away.” He breathed as he pulled her close to him wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “I love the dress. I may call you my angel but you’ve got me thinking otherwise.” He purred in her ear as she bit her lip in response.

“Oh yeah?” She winked as she walked with him. He unlocked his car before opening the door for her.

“Oh most definitely, it’s a good thing we have a reservation or I’d take you to the back and show you.” He winked before closing the door. He felt her eyes on him as he walked to his side of the car. He sat down before putting on his seat belt, she rested her hand on his thigh as he drove.

She connected his phone to his car and played music, she sang softly as he drove. She played songs he’d never heard including artists he hadn’t heard of. One song stood out to him as he looked at her when he stopped at the spotlight, “Who is this?”

“This is FKA Twigs, she’s amazing.” She smiled before kissing his cheek.

“Never heard of her, which song is this?”

“This one is Cellophane, can I show you my favorite song by her?” She beamed as she looked through her phone.

“Of course.”

As the song started it sounded completely different than the last one she played, he listened to the lyrics as she sang along. “This one is Fallen Alien!”

They listened to the song as he pulled into the nearest parking spot from where she picked for Dinner. When he finished parking the car he cut the engine and turned to look in her blue eyes, “Ready beautiful?”

She smiled before leaning over to kiss his cheek, “I’m ready handsome.”

He smiled as he unbuckled his seat belt, “Stay put angel, I’m gonna get the door.”

She smiled as he got out of the car and walked to the passenger side before opening the door and he helped her get out of the car. She closed the door behind her as his arm wrapped around her waist and they started to walk down the street. He held her close as they walked down crowded sidewalks, he didn’t want to lose track of her.

She led him to the restaurant as she opened the door to Carmines, he hadn’t been to the place or even heard of it. To him it seemed random and out of the blue. His hand rested on the small of her back as they waited to be seated, he noticed her being familiar with the majority of workers. As they walked past the bar to their table she waved to a bartender whose gaze was fixed on Veronica. She left his side to sit down on the chair across from him at the same time he sat down, “How do you know everyone here?.”

“Because I’ve been here a lot, Penelope and I usually come here after we go shopping. Grayson used to work here before his apprenticeship at the tattoo shop.”

“Oh really? I can’t see Grayson working here.” He stated as he sipped his water.

“Yeah he worked here for like 2 years before his last job.” She smiled before sipping her water, “I’ve had just about everything here, all of it is good.”

He smiled while he looked over the menu trying to decide what to order, he heard someone yell Veronica’s name and his head tilted up and she looked at him. “Who was that?”

“Jesse, I’ve known him for years. I told him I was going to bring you here” She smiled before sipping her water. A waiter took their order and left to go to the bar where Veronica’s friend was working. He couldn’t help but notice her friend staring at them when he’d look around the restaurant.

When the waiter brought their drinks Veronica waved to her friend Jesse and he clenched his jaw when Jesse winked at her. He sipped his whiskey as Veronica motioned him to come over to them. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to him even if Veronica wanted him too.

“You must be the famous Calum! I’m Jesse!” He introduced himself as he stretched out his hand, Calum shook it before faking a smile.

“So your Jesse?”

“Yeah, I’ve known Veronica Mars here for almost 8 years now!” Jesse chirped with a smile causing Veronica to giggle. He hadn’t heard anyone call her Veronica Mars and he wasn’t sure how he felt about his special nickname for her.

“I met Jessie James when I was applying for jobs at the mall, my sister and I went here after and he was just starting out.” She smiled at Jesse not even bothering to look in Calum’s eyes.

“Great, I’ll be right back.” He huffed before getting out of his chair and walking towards the front door past all of the customers waiting. He stepped outside and lit a cigarette to settle down. He wasn’t known to get jealous the way he was right now, he wasn’t sure what to do besides smoke.

He inhaled before leaning against the wall and closing his eyes in an attempt to calm down, to see if Veronica had left her friend Jesse to check on her boyfriend, but to his surprise he was still alone. He finished his cigarette as his heart rate continued to sky rocket of the mere thought of Jesse and his girlfriend spending the entire night flirting. He stepped inside to see her sitting down at the table, the food had arrived and she was looking at her phone.

He sat down on his chair and finished his whiskey before she noticed he was back, “Where did you go?”

“I needed to smoke.” He softly growled as he ate his food, his eyes never leaving his plate as they ate their dinner.

He finished his water as his eyes met hers, “Are you going to tell me whats going on? You’re quieter than usual.”

“It’s nothing, did you want dessert?” He lied as he grabbed his phone.

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it here, you want to say goodbye to your boyfriend Jesse before we leave?” He barked as he cleared his throat, he clenched his jaw as he looked at Jesse.

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “That is what this is all about? Jesse?”

“Do you want to say goodbye to him or not?” He pressed as he set his phone down so he could grab his wallet.

“I actually do want to say goodbye, I need to talk to him about something.” She sighed as she got up from her chair looking in his eyes.

“You’re seriously going to talk to him?”

“You’re being ridiculous Calum, I need to ask him something about Grayson.” She expressed as she furrowed her brows at him.

“Oh that’s why you’ve been paying more attention to him instead of your actual boyfriend.” He shook his head as he got up from his chair, he stood in front of her smelling her perfume. “I’ll be out front waiting.”

She rolled her eyes before walking away from him towards the bar, she smiled when Jesse leaned on the counter to talk to her. He couldn’t help being jealous of whatever was going on between them, even if it was nothing. She had paid more attention to Jesse all night instead of him.

He paid for dinner and stepped outside before grabbing a cigarette, he lit his cigarette before inhaling. He exhaled deeply before turning to look back inside the restaurant as Veronica and Jesse were still talking, the smile had disappeared from her face as she shook her head. She waved to him and other workers as he inhaled, he exhaled before he put out his cigarette on the brick wall. The front door opened as she stepped outside crossing her arms, “Ready to go?”

He nodded as he walked with her back to his car, she walked ahead of him as her arms maintained crossed. As they reached his car he unlocked the car and she got in the passenger seat. He turned on his phone’s Bluetooth as he started playing music before he pulled out of the parking spot.

As he drove she looked out the window and they sat in silence for the first time it wasn’t comfortable. He didn’t know what to say or how to talk about it with her. He didn’t want to come off as the jealous boyfriend but that’s exactly what was going on.

“Are you really not gonna talk to me?” She sighed as she looked at him as they were stopped at a red light.

“What do we have to talk about?” He lied as his hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Really? We have nothing to talk about?”

“You spent the majority of the evening fawning over Jesse and neglecting your actual boyfriend.” He argued as he drove her home.

“I was not fawning over him, I’ve known him for 7 years. I was asking him about Grayson.” She continued as she paused the music playing in the background.

“Right, the entire night you were talking about Grayson.’ He huffed as he started the music again.

“Are you serious right now?. If you would’ve asked me sooner instead of getting jealous and defensive you’d know what I talked to him about.”

“Of course I’m serious Veronica.” He argued as he pulled into her driveway.

“You’re ridiculous Calum.” She unbuckled her seatbelt before getting out of his car and slamming the door behind her.

* * * *

It had almost been a week since their last date that ended abruptly due to Calum’s jealousy. She didn’t understand how he could be jealous when he knew how she felt about him. She hadn’t seen Jesse in months and she needed to talk to him about Grayson, thankfully Jesse was friends with Grayson’s ex and found out that they had been hanging out again and that’s why he was lying to her.

Grayson knew how Veronica felt about his ex, especially this one and knew if he told her he was hanging out with them she’d get mad at him. She stopped trying with Grayson knowing his history with his ex, they’d hurt him again and he’d be back to being home like normal.

When she got home from work she decided to make her comfort dish; lasagna. She had meat substitute since Calum loved her lasagna  so she decided to use it even if she knew he was still wasn’t talking to her. She cut the veggies and put seasoning on them as she felt her phone vibrate against the counter. She sighed when she saw that it wasn’t Calum. “Hey Lukey.”

“Hey Darlin, is he still not talking to you?”

“Nope, haven’t heard from him since our date.” She sighed as she walked to her fridge.

“He’s been miserable for days, don’t know why he hasn’t.”

“So have I, I’m making lasagna.” She mentioned as she grabbed the cheese she needed.

“Oh, let me talk to him.”

“Luke, it’ll be okay. He’ll come around when he wants to.” She set the cheese on the counter, she heard the doorbell ring and she narrowed her eyes. “I think someone’s here, I’ll text you.”

“Okay be safe.” Luke expressed before hanging up.

She walked to the front door before slowly opening it. Her eyes met his soft brown eyes, “Hi.”

“Hi, can I come in?” Calum asked as she looked him up and down, he had noticeable scruff on his chin and he smelt like smoke.

“Yeah of course,” She smiled softly before stepping aside so he could come inside. She faintly smelled his cologne as she closed the front door leading him into the kitchen. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“I want to apologize for my behavior the other night, I was childish and I should’ve just been honest with you. I’m scared I’ll lose you and you're the best thing that’s happened to me.” He expressed as he stretched his arms out.

She walked up to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his head nuzzled in the crook of her neck, “It’s okay baby, you’re not going to lose me. You have nothing to worry about”

He softly kissed her neck before looking in her eyes, “Promise?”

She kissed his lips softly before smiling, “I promise, I love you Calum. When I’m with you I feel less broken and that scares the shit out of me.”

He kissed her forehead before pulling her closer to him, “You aren’t broken, you are perfect the way you are. I love you.” He smiled as she held his face in her hands.

“I love you,” She kissed his lips softly before smiling, “You want to stay for dinner?”

“Of course, are you making my favorite?” He smiled as he let go of her waist.

“I am, want to help?” She smiled and he nodded, “Can you heat this up and add these spices?” She pointed to the array of spices on her counter.

“Absolutely.” He smiled as he got out a pan and set the beyond meat in the pan before starting it. He added the spices she laid out for him as he grabbed a spatula.

t a g l i s t - @pxrxmoore​  @sublimehood​ @ghostoflrh​ @calumscalm​ @mellifluoushood​ @calumthomcs​ @twilightmomentswithyou​ @boytoynamedcalum​ @ohhmuke​ @calswildflower​ @highscal​ @sanrioluke​ @softlrh​ @flowers-on-the-graves @currentlyupcalsass​ @clemmings​ @highfivecalum​ @wastelandcth​ @himbocalum​ @feliznavidaddycal​ @icyicejuice​ @notinthesameguey​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @calumrose​ @tpwkatsumu​

[wilde--at--heart]

End of March - Alex Learns a Couple of Truths

ALEX

No lights are on when I open the door to my condo. I should’ve swung by here yesterday. Except that a major project for Hoodoo Mobile kept failing to render. I had to spend all day calming the client (and nagging Bridget about finding decent tech support, since that falls under her ever-expanding domain). I stumble over a stack of flat boxes. I’m about to blow a gasket. Chris isn’t close to moving out. I’ve been beyond patient with her. I’m tempted to start packing her stuff myself.

My rage defuses at the sight of her. She’s asleep on the cream leather sofa, hugging a ratty beige teddy bear like a sweet, neglected child (she was). Moonlight streams in from the side window. The pale silver light illuminates her face. I stand still, watching her. God, she’s beautiful. With her long lashes and turned-up nose, she resembles an old-fashioned doll. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I had to.

My eyes fall to a sheet of paper on the coffee table. I pick it up, curious. My heart lurches in my chest. A grayish blob floating in a sea of black, a tiny dark smudge on one side. I can hardly believe it.

Our child.

Christine really is pregnant. She wasn’t lying.

I am going to be a dad.

I perch next to her, gently shake her shoulder. “Hey, Chris.”

Her eyes flutter open. Her mouth splits into a grin of perfect little teeth.

“Alex!” Her face is radiant. She looks ecstatic to see me. No one else looks at me the way she does. Not even Marissa. Her eyes gleam bright. Her smile has no artifice. There is nothing controlled about her. She’s wild and free, which I absolutely loved about her, but hated, too. She could never rein herself in. Right now, I don’t care. I cut my own reins loose.

I throw my arms around her. She smells like strawberries and her Satsuma shampoo. I missed her smell. I feel as if I’ve come home again after a decade-long absence. “I hope you’re okay. I’ve been such a jerk to you and I’m sorry. It didn’t even hit me until now.”

She doesn’t say a word. Just clings to me like a barnacle on rock. I wonder what’s going through her mind, search my own for what I should say. The strap of her silk nightdress slides off her shoulder. My eyes fall to her engorged breasts. I hate how I convinced myself she was lying (because it was easier).

Our lips meet and we begin kissing. God, how I miss her sometimes, the old her, when we first got together. I’m kissing that person now. I run my hand along her shoulder and down her arm. Her skin is as soft and silky as her negligee. I reach up underneath and slip it off over her head. I run my hand along her bare tummy. I plant a kiss.

Inside, a brand new life is forming.

Made from my life, and hers.

A miracle.

*     *     *     *     *

CHRISTINE – 5:30 am

Alex snoozes on the couch while I lie on my back in bed wide awake. Fooling around felt like old times, but I know him. He’ll wake up hung over with guilt, and convince himself it was no big deal because we stopped short of going all the way. We didn’t fuck. A midnight text from his new girlfriend interrupted us. When it comes to relationship boundaries he has the precision of a lawyer. I roll onto my side and hear the pipes in the bathroom shudder, then the shower hissing. He is so predictable. Up and at ‘em way earlier than he needs to be. As soon as he’s finished, I go to confront him in the bathroom.

“I’m almost done.” He keeps his towel around his waist while he steps into his boxer briefs. I can feel his guilt from where I’m standing. “They scheduled this stupid power breakfast at the Ramada and I just got the call for it. Harvey’s going to be there so I have to go.”

The steamy air stifles me. I flip on the exhaust fan and block the door. “I know you don’t want to be with me. All I ask is for you to have a relationship with him or her once they’re born.”

He hangs his head, resumes getting dressed. He can’t even look at me. “Of course I will! What do you take me for? I don’t understand why you always assume that––”

“I’ll be honest,” I say, praying that whoever this new chick is, she kicks him to the curb. If she doesn’t, she has zero pride. Knowing him, he hasn’t told her yet. “I wish we were still together. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father around and––”

“I’m sorry, Chris.” He holds his arms around me. His skin is sticky. The smell of his aftershave stings my nostrils. “We’ll talk about this later tonight. Let me know how your doctor appointment goes.”

He is so fucking cold sometimes. Goddammit! “You cheated on her last night!” I shove him square in the chest, sending him stumbling backwards, his arms flailing. Why else would he have stopped kissing me the second his phone beeped? He’s trying to have his cake and eat it too and he damned well knows it. I saw his phone. Her page-long text about all the things she was wanting to do in bed with him.

“We were never serious.” He purses his lips, bundles his clothes in his arms, and barges past me.

“Does she know that?” When he doesn’t answer, I snatch his arm, digging my nails in. He tears out of my grip, glances at the blood oozing out of a scratch on his bicep, and puts on his shirt and jacket. “Better watch your balls because you’re juggling a few too many, hm?”

“Quit taking everything the wrong way! I need to think about how we should go about telling my parents and it’s not so easy to break the news to a—”

I let out an exasperated shriek, storm back into the bedroom, fling myself down on the mattress and curl up. I’m about to explode. He always does this!

“I’ll talk to you later!” Alex calls through the door. Then I hear the one to the hallway slam shut. Rage boils in me; I’m freaking out. If Alex were any kind of man, he’d be here for me. He’s a fucking pathetic coward, a lying, cheating shit, and probably stringing how many new chicks along right now.

I stomp into the living room, desperate to blow off steam. I grab a side of the nearest bookshelf and slam it to the floor. God, that feels good. High on endorphins, I pitch Alex’s favorite vase against the wall, feeling an amazing rush as I watch it shatter into a million glittering pieces that catch the rays of the morning sun. The gift from his bitch of a mother couldn’t have met a more deserving fate. I wish it was her skull. Would serve her right for calling me trash right to my face.

Next, his precious stereo. I pick up the amp and raise it high over my head like a WWE wrestler about to smash a chair over the head of his opponent.

“What are you doing?” Alex gawks at me from the hallway.

Shit. “I thought you left.”

“I forgot my ...” His eyes land on the splinters of crystal spilled across the floorboards. He shakes his head and I’m on the verge of collapsing in tears. He’ll never understand why I get like this. I have this monster inside of me. No matter how much I try to keep it chained, it always breaks loose.

“Hormones,” I whimper, but he’s too furious to care. While I stand frozen like a marble statue, he takes the amp out of my hands and tucks it under his arm.

“I can’t deal with you like this––get help. Mental help. This is why we aren’t together anymore! Thanks for reminding me!” He leaves again, slamming the door behind him. I’m so numb I feel my whole sense of self slipping away, disappearing into thin air. I don’t need help, I just need him to be more understanding, to stop being so goddamned cold. Just once.

Fuck it. I call his direct line at work. If I word it the right way, he’ll have to hear what I say before he realizes it’s me and hangs up. At the beep I say, “You tell her, or I will. Bye.”

[fxkthatdairy]

The Principal’s Office Part Nine~ Grayson Dolan

Overview: (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) was the new 5th-grade history teacher at The Dolan’s Private academy in New Jersey. She moved from across the country to teach at the school. On the first day, an unexpected visitor stops by her classroom to check in on her. What happened when they fall head over heels for each other?

Warnings: Fluff 🙂

(Y/N) knew that around the fall season going into winter that it was commonly know as flu season. She prepared ahead of time, by buying tons of Lysol, hand sanitizer, and even got a flu shot even though in reality those never helped her before. It seemed like everyday a different student was out with the flu. She didn’t think she would catch it if she was extremely careful but boy was she wrong. So now it’s Friday and it’s her lunch period. She has her head resting on her arms as she placed her head on her desk. Her body was burning up, her head was spinning, her stomach was aching, and her throat burned.

“Woah, Princess, are you okay?” Grayson asked walking in with the lunch bags from Wendy’s as he had decided to buy them lunch today. He placed the bags down on a students desk and walked to her side of the desk and placed his hand on her back.

“Holy shit, (Y/N), you are burning up,” he said and rubbed her back up and down soothingly.

“Gray, I really don’t feel good, my head aches and my stomach feels like it’s having a war with itself, and my throat hurts,” she said hoarsely as she raised her head from the desk, revealing her flushed out face.

“Princess, I’m gonna have my secretary call a sub in for you and I am going to schedule you a doctors appointment. Just get your things together so I can take you baby.” He said rubbing her back before pulling out his phone calling his secretary.

“Good Afternoon Mrs. Mendoza, can you please get a sub in for Ms.(Y/L/N)? She’s extremely sick and is going to go to the doctor, thank you so much, have a wonderful day now,” he said and hung up.

“Okay princess, they got a sub on the way, let me take you home first so you can get changed into some comfortable clothes and then I’ll call your doctor for you and we can go,” he said and helped her stand up from her chair.

She held on to him as they walked out of the school, not caring who saw them at this moment. She felt like she was dying. Her held the door open for her and helped her to his car.

“I’m gonna drive you and Eth and I can come back later and get your car, I don’t want you driving right now,” he said. Of course he had to bring his baby blue Porsche that (Y/N) definitely did not want to accidentally throw up in.

She knew it was better for her not to argue her point of why they should take her car so she just nodded and got in the passenger side. She leaned her head against the cold window and had the air vent pointed directly at her. Grayson carefully sped to get to (Y/N)’s house and when he got there he helped her out of the car and into her house. He helped her in her bedroom and sat her down on her bed and walked into her closet and grabbed her a pair of soft leggings and an oversized hoodie. He helped her change.

“I’m going to call the doctor, you just lay back and relax?” Grayson said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the local urgent care opened. She just nodded and curled up in her comforter. She felt as if her whole body was collapsing.

“Yes, I need to schedule an appointment for my girlfriend. Her name is (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). She’s running a fever, she has chills, she’s nauseous, and has a major headache. Yes ma’am, okay thank you, bye,” Grayson spoke with the receptionist on the phone.

“Okay princess, I got you a doctors appointment but there is about an hour wait. They are going to call me back when it’s good for us to head up there okay my love.” Grayson said laying down beside her in bed and pulling her to his chest.

He was still in his suit from work because he didn’t have time to change before he left and he didn’t have any spare clothes over at her house at this current moment.

“Thank you Gray, i love you,” she sniffled, nuzzling into his chest.

“No problem princess, it’s my job to take care of you,” he said and they turned on Lilo and Stitch on the TV to pass time. About 15 minutes later, Grayson’s phone began to ring.

“That was quick,” he said with a laugh as he answered his phone. His face automatically dropped as the other person on the phone spoke.

“What do you mean, a bunch of fifth graders got in a fight? I’ll be up there soon, okay, thank you, bye,” Grayson said with a sigh as he hung up.

“I’m so sorry Princess but I have to go and deal with this, apparently it was really bad. I’m going to call Ethan and see if he can take you for me and if he can’t than I’ll call my mom and see if she can take you,” Grayson said as he took a deep sigh.

He felt terrible, his princess was sick and he couldn’t take her to see what was wrong with her because some fifth graders got into a fight and he knew he would be up there for a few hours talking with parents and filing reports. He picked up his phone and scrolled for his brothers number. He trusted him enough to take his princess to the doctor and if Ethan was too busy then he would call his next most trusted person; his mom.

“Hey E, (Y/N) got sick and I took her home in my car so hers is still at the school. I was planning on taking her to the doctor but some fifth graders started a huge fight and I have to go tend to all that. If you are not busy do you mind taking her and then staying with her. I don’t want her to be alone.” Grayson said through the phone. He had walked in the other room so that (Y/N) could rest.

“Yeah, sure thing man, it was a half day today for the high school, so I’m already at home, I’ll head over there now man,” Ethan said through the phone.

“Thank you so much man, this means a lot. Hopefully it doesn’t take too long. I owe you brother,” Grayson said as he hung up.

“Okay princess, Ethan will be here any minute to pick you up and then take you to your doctors appointment. He’s also going to stick around until I can get back so that someone is taking care of you,” Grayson said.

“Thank you Gray, I mean I can take care of myself but *cough* I’m glad *cough cough* that you care *coughs intensely*,” she said hoarsely.

“I just want someone to make sure you are okay at all times, you don’t sound well. Well I’ve got to go princess, I love you and I’ll be back as soon as possible. Text me what the doc says,” he says kissing the top of her head, since she was sick, he didn’t want to kiss her on the lips no matter how bad he truly wanted to.

“Love you too, Gray,” she said as she snuggled back into the couch.

Grayson left and 20 minutes later, the doorbell rang. She got up and threw on a pair of house shoes and grabbed her purse. She opened the front door.

“Wow you do look as bad as Grayson said, come on let’s get you to the doc,” Ethan said and helped her to his Tesla.

“Thanks Ethan, it’s nice to see you too,” she said sarcastically with a hoarse laugh.

Ethan laughed as well and got into the drivers side. He drove her to the doctors and helped her get out of the car. She walked in and signed herself in and filled out all the paperwork before sitting in the chair beside Ethan’s and waited for her name to be called.

“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N),” the nurse called and (ay/an) stood up.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Ethan asked and all she did was nod and he followed behind her.

They did all the basics such as height, weight, blood pressure, temperature, and pulse. The nurse led them back into the room and told (Y/N) that the doctor would see her soon.

“I hate doctors offices,” Ethan said as he played a game on his phone. He sat down in the spare chair in the room.

“Why?” (Y/N) asked sitting on the bench.

“You wait forever for them to see you for about 10 minutes and then you’re done,” Ethan said with a roll of his eyes. Another nurse walked in and put on a pair of gloves.

“The doc wants to know a few things before he sees you,” she said as she grabbed a few swabs. (Y/N) nodded and waited for the questions.

“When was the date of your last period?” The nurse asked. Ethan’s face went extremely flushed and he stared directly at his phone attempting to tune out the nurses questions.

“Last week,” (Y/N) said and opened her mouth for the nurse to swab the back of her throat.

“Are you sexually active?” The nurse asked with no regards to Ethan sitting in the chair.

“Yes,” (Y/N) coughed out as the nurse removed the swab.

“I assumed since he’s here that you were,” the nurse said with a smile and (Y/N) let out a laugh.

“Oh no, that’s my boyfriends brother, he came along because my boyfriend got called in to an emergency at work,” (Y/N) said and the nurse turned flush.

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she swabbed the inside of (Y/N)‘s nose. She took the swabs to run tests on the flu and strep.

“Well that was awkward,” (y/n) said with a laugh.

“Next time Grayson can’t come he better send Cameron instead of me because that was too much information right there,” Ethan said as he played his game.

The doctor walked in a few minutes later and introduced himself as Dr. Moreno and shook our hands.

“Good evening Ms (Y/L/N) and not her boyfriend,” the doctor said with a laugh as he referenced the nurses incident earlier.

“It seems like you have caught the flu, so I’m going to prescribed you some tamaflu and some other antibiotics and you should be good within the next four days. I’ll have my nurses write you a work excuse at the front desk. I’m sending the medicine to your pharmacy on file. I hope you get better and come back if things get worse,” Dr. Moreno said as he walked out of the room.

“See I told you, they keeping you waiting for hours for a simple 10 minute talk with the doctor,” Ethan said as he stood up and helped (Y/N) off of the bench. She went and paid and got all the paperwork from the receptionist. When she got back into Ethan’s car, she texted Grayson.

To Gray 💍💕: hey baby, the doctor said it’s just the flu and prescribed me some meds that E and I are going to get now as well as some soup. I hope everything is going well, I love you and I’ll see you soon. We’ve got some funny stories to tell you from the doctors office.

Ethan pulled into the parking lot of where the pharmacy was and helped (Y/N) out and into the store. She picked up her medicine as well as some Gatorades and a few cans of chicken noodle soup. She paid for it all and then began heading back home. Her phone buzzed as she saw Grayson had texted her back.

From Gray💍💕: I’m sorry princess that you have the flu. I’m almost through filing these reports and then I’ll be on my way to your house. Can’t wait to hear these stories. I love you baby girl and I’ll see you soon 😘

(Y/n) smiled at Graysons text and put her phone back in her purse. Ethan pulled into her driveway and got out. (Y/N) began making herself some Chicken Noodle Soup as Ethan sat up Monsters University on the TV in the living room. She poured herself a bowl and curled herself into the “L” part of her couch. She was buried under her big fluffy blanket as she ate the food. Ethan prepares her meds in the kitchen for her to take after she finished eating. (Y/N) brought her bowl into the kitchen and placed it back in the sink before hurrying back to burry herself within her warm cocoon of blankets. Ethan walked over with all her meds and a blue Gatorade.

“Come on, (Y/N), you’ve got to take you medicine so your boyfriend doesn’t kill me,” Ethan said as he hand her her medicine as she uncurled herself from her cocoon of blankets. She took the medicine with a disgusted face and twisted the cap back on the Gatorade and placed it on the coffee table. She cuddled her pillow as she watched the movie.

Grayson went to his house quickly after getting done with work to change and grab his weekend bag. Once he grabbed his bag and changed he rushed back over to (Y/N)’s house. He walked in to find his girlfriend curled into a cocoon of blankets, snuggling into a body pillow watching Monsters University while his brother sat in the recliner watching the movie as well. When (Y/N) heard her front door she looked up and found her gorgeous boyfriend. She raised her arms signaling she wanted him to come over and hug her. He walked over and hugged her before giving his brother a hug as well. He sat down by (Y/N) and placed her head in his lap, running his fingers through her hair.

“Thank you so much E,” Grayson said as he continued to run his fingers through (y/n)’s hair.

“No problem man, tell me about this fight.” Ethan said as he reclined in the chair.

“Apparently two fifth grade boys got into a argument over a girl. One kid swung and then the other one swung back and then the friends joined and I had a lot of reports to file. I swear why are fifth graders worried about relationships.” Grayson said as he rolled his eyes.

“Try high school my dude, I swear I write reports like it’s nothing. If it’s not a fight or drugs it’s because a kid was bullied. I’m desensitized to teenage problems at this point.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Now princess you said you had some funny stories to tell me from the doctors. I’m all ears,” Grayson said with a smile as he looked her in the eyes.

“The nurse lady started asking routine questions for a woman such as when was your last period and if you are sexually active because they have to consider pregnancy as an option so I answered both truthfully and she was like I assumed you were since he’s sitting in her. She thought Ethan was my boyfriend and I laughed. Ethan was so red and so was the nurse. I then explained that Ethan was your brother and it was just funny as shit.” (Y/N) said with a laugh as she rolled over and continued to watch the movie.

“Yeah dude, next time you can’t take her, have Cameron or mom go because I heard too much today.” Ethan said with a laugh as he was scrolling through his phone.

“Noted,” Grayson said as he bent over and kissed (Y/N) on the forehead before continuing to watch the movie as well.

———————————————————————

Wow I missed writing! I want to personally apologize for my inactivity lately. I’ve been facing a writers block and mental block for the past few days and it’s prevented me from writing something I enjoy. Now I’m back and this time I’m not going to burn myself out so updates will be not everyday as I did before but every other day. As always I hope you enjoy this chapter! Part 10 should be written in a few days as well as Chapter Nine of Panic Room should be out by this weekend. If you have any feedback, requests, concepts, or asks, let me know. I love you guys 🥺😊💛

Tags: @graysavant @pineappledols @sweet-dolans @parkernerd @lilharms @youtuberimagines12 @minecraftgamerr @buildermangray

[broadwayyaddict]

Secret

"You got everything?" Jasmine asked, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he responded, smiling at her. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

He hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. "Me too," she responded.

She cupped his face and softly kissed him. He leaned his forehead against hers, kissing her a few more times.

"I love you so much," she whispered, trying not to let herself cry.

"I love you too," he responded, squeezing her hands and taking his bag.

He was going to Europe to film for 8 months. 8 freaking months and they couldn't visit each other. They had no free days that lined up, which meant there was no way.

He pressed a few more kisses to her lips before saying goodbye and I love you once more. She watched him walk away with tears in her eyes.

The house was quiet when she got home and she sighed laying down on the bed.

I already miss you, she texted him. He responded almost immediately, Me too.

He had only been gone for a week when the nausea hit her. She was throwing up every morning and just felt like absolute crap. The idea of what it could be hit her almost immediately but she was too scared to confirm it.

After a few weeks, she finally decided that she couldn't take not knowing anymore and went down to the nearest drug store to get a test. Her hands were shaking the whole time and she went into the bathroom, sinking down onto the floor.

She finally worked up the nerve to take the three tests and set the timer on her phone, taking a deep breath.

As soon as the timer went off, she flipped the tests over and her heart dropped as soon as she saw the results.

Pregnant, Pregnant, Pregnant

She was pregnant, she was having a baby, they were having a baby. She laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth. She placed her other hand on her stomach, her smile growing.

How was she going to tell Anthony?

As soon as that thought entered her mind, the color drained from her face. He was across an ocean, how the hell was she supposed to tell him?

Did she call him or go to Europe or tell him when he got back? Depending on how far along she was, would she even still be pregnant by the time he got home.

She was overthinking too much, it could be a false positive. That thought calmed her a little bit and she picked herself up, throwing the tests in the trash. The next thing she did was schedule an appointment with her doctor to confirm or deny it.

As soon as she was done, she flopped back down on their bed and took deep breaths. Her hands couldn't leave her stomach, almost as if she was waiting for a baby bump to grow.

At her appointment it was confirmed. She was a month and a half pregnant, baby due in mid June. As soon as she got home, she started to go over her options again.

She really didn't want to tell him they were having a baby over a phone, she wanted to be with him to find out. She wanted so badly to go to Europe to be with him but there was no way she could, she didn't have any time in her schedule whatsoever.

That only left one option, to wait until he got home. The only thing was that the baby was due in mid June and he got home at the end of June. Their baby would be a few weeks old by the time he got home.

She knew she had to tell her family and maybe her friends. There was no way she could hide a pregnancy from them and she didn't want to go through this alone.

She was able to hide it easily at first, even when she started showing. The morning she woke up and realized she had a visible bump was the most exhilarating feeling.

The good thing about this timing was that it was cold outside so Anthony wasn't suspicious when she was called and was in sweatshirts or baggy clothes.

Her family and the few friends that she told were extremely ecstatic but they were all under strict instructions not to spill it to Anthony at all.

She decided to find out the gender at her 4 month appointment, not wanting to do a gender reveal party without him. The sound of their baby's heartbeat always made her own heart swell with love.

"You ready to find out the gender?" her doctor asked and she nodded. "Well, from what I can tell from the monitor, it looks like you're having a baby girl!"

Jasmine felt her heart burst and her jaw dropped. She felt the tears form in her eyes as she wished that Anthony could be here. She knew that he would be crying right along with her.

She called her mom when she got home from the appointment in full on tears. partly because she was so excited about their baby girl and partly because she missed Anthony so much.

"I just wish that he could be here to experience this with me," she cried, rubbing her bump. "It just hurts so much that he's missing out, I just want him to be here."

"I know honey," she responded. "But I promise he's gonna be so happy when he gets home."

"I know he's going to be, I just wish I could be experiencing this with him," Jasmine told him. "Every time we call I just feel like I'm hiding this gigantic secret that's building and building and I want to tell him so badly."

"I promise that it's all going to be okay," her mom said. "I know it's hard right now, but you two—well, three—have your whole lives ahead of you. I know this period seems like it's going on forever, but when you look back it'll be one short blip."

"Thank you Mama," she responded. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"Of course honey," her mom said. "Call me if you need anything else."

"I will," she responded. "Bye Mama, I love you."

She hung up and cradled her bump, whispering to her, "I love you so much bubba."

She stood up and went into the bathroom, pulling her sweatshirt up to look at her reflection. She placed her hand on her stomach, exhaling slowly as she reflected on the past 2 1/2 months.

"I can't wait for you to meet Papa," she said, laughing a bit. "He's going to love you so much."

The first time she felt kicks, she almost fell over. It was finally hitting her that she was growing a little baby girl inside of her stomach.

It was getting harder for her to hide her pregnancy from Anthony whenever they called. A sweatshirt wasn't hiding her stomach as well and she had to make sure her camera angle didn't reveal anything.

"How're you doing baby?" he asked one day.

"I'm a bit tired, but I'm okay," she told him. "I really miss you though."

"I miss you too," he responded. "I wish I could be with you and hug you and cuddle with you."

"Me too," she said, cradling her bump. There's someone else you're gonna get to cuddle with too and I have a feeling you'll love her very much. "Only 4 more months."

"Halfway through," he said. "One day closer to seeing you."

"One day closer," she repeated. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course," he said.

"I've had so much empty time to myself and I've kinda, maybe been thinking about our kids. And baby names too," she said, trying her best to sneakily slip it in. Her smile grew when she saw his growing.

"Mm, I can't wait for our own little babies too," he responded.

"I have a few names that I like, what about you?" she asked.

"Hmm that's hard," he responded, thinking for a bit. "I like Evan or Luca for a boy and for a girl...Kamiyah or Star."

Jasmine laughed at the way his eyes lit up and she said, "Not real yet darling." Those words felt weird coming out of her mouth. "But I like those."

He laughed and his face was still flushed. They talked for another hour before he had to go to bed and they reminded each other that they were halfway through.

As the months went on though, Jasmine knew she had to lock it down. She got help from her family and friends to get the nursery ready and picked one of the names he suggested. Star. Star Amelia Ramos, the be exact.

As it got warmer and her stomach grew, she knew that she was treading on thin ice. She had to be extra careful every time they called to make sure that she didn't give it away.

She was also getting more excited though, their little girl was going to be here in a few weeks and she couldn't wait to meet her.

Jasmine would put on his music every single day so that she would get familiar with his voice and she hoped the FaceTime calls would help too. Star got more and more active as the days grew on and Jasmine could tell her due date was getting closer.

She woke up one day from a tightening in her side and knew that she was in labor. She immediately called her mom and Anthony's mom and started timing her contractions. They both rushed over and made sure the hospital bag was ready to go and Stephanie was on call to take care of the dogs.

She was not expecting the amount of pain she was in and she wished with everything in her body that Anthony was with her. The moms did everything they could to help her feel more comfortable and in some ways, it was better seeing as they both knew what she was going through.

Jasmine felt this weird sensation of overwhelming love, excitement, exhaustion, and sadness coursing through her. She couldn't wait to finally meet their daughter but at the same time she just wanted Anthony to hold her and tell her she was going to be okay. At this point she couldn't tell if the tears were from pain or sadness.

When it came time to push, the pain just blocked out everything. Jasmine felt like her whole body was burning with pain and she wanted it done now. Labor seemed to drag on and on until the doctor finally announced that she was crowning.

She felt exhausted and her head was pounding from the yelling and crying, but she was almost done. Her grip tightened on her mother's hands as she tried to focus on pushing.

The release of pressure she had been waiting for finally came and she collapsed back against the bed, trying to catch her breath. Her eyes opened all the way when she heard her daughter crying and she finally smiled.

The doctors placed her on Jasmine's chest and she felt her heart soar. Star was crying loudly and squirming around, but Jasmine didn't care.

She calmed her as best she could and tried to take in the fact that their daughter was finally here.

"Oh hi baby," she said, barely able to form sentences. "Oh god, I love you so so much."

She finally calmed down enough that Jasmine could lean down to kiss her forehead and she felt tears of happiness streaming down her face. "Just wait until you meet your papa, he's gonna love you so much," she whispered.

The time period when she was recovering in the hospital was the hardest time. She had to come up with an excuse every time why they couldn't call. It was easier when the two of them got home as she could call him when Star was asleep.

The moms came over to help as much as they could and to spend time with their new granddaughter as the couple counted down the days they could see each other again.

On the day that he got home, Jasmine dressed Star up as best she could. She was only two weeks old and was still sleeping for a majority of the day, so she would most likely be asleep when Anthony got home.

Jasmine could barely sit still the whole time, busying herself by picking up the house. She was running on her heightened anxiety about Anthony finally meeting her and the relief of him being home.

When the buzzer went off, she ran down to the front door and flung herself into his arms. He held onto her so tightly, breathing a sigh of relief. He was finally home.

"God, I missed you so much," he mumbled, rubbing her back. "I'm never leaving you for 8 months again."

"I'm glad," Jasmine responded, burying her face in his neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said.

They were finally able to let go of each other and went up to their home. The dogs were ecstatic to see Anthony and he spent a good amount of time saying hello to them.

Jasmine kept glancing up at the closed nursery door and took his hand, telling him, "I have something I want to show you."

She felt like she was going to burst as she led him upstairs and stopped in front of the door. "I love you so much," she whispered, kissing his cheek and opening the door.

He was initially confused at first, but when he saw Star asleep in the crib, things started to click.

"Jas, what's happening?" he asked. "Who's that?"

"That's our little girl," she told him.

"Since when did we have a daughter?" he added breathlessly.

"I found out I was a month and a half pregnant a few weeks after you left. She was born on June 10th," she explained.

They slowly crossed the room and Jasmine picked her up, transferring her into his arms.

"Oh my god," he mumbled, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, brushing his thumb over her cheek.

She yawned and shifted a bit, snuggling closer to him. He felt his heart swell with love and looked up at Jasmine. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and told him, "I didn't really want to tell you about our baby over the phone and there was no way I could come to Europe. My only option was to wait until you got home."

She saw the tears in his eyes start to fall and he pulled her closer, wrapping his free arm around her. "I'm never leaving you again," he mumbled."

Jasmine breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he wasn't mad.

"What her name?" he asked, letting her wrap a hand around his finger.

"Star Amelia Ramos," she told him. "I used on of the names that you liked."

She saw the wheels turning in his head and it finally clicked. "You were really thinking about baby names!" he exclaimed, laughing a bit.

"I wanted you to have some part in the decision even if you didn't know at all," she told him.

He laughed again, pressing a long kiss to her lips. They broke away when Star began mumbling a bit and she opened her eyes.

"Oh god," he said, sinking down into the rocking chair. Jasmine smiled as she sat down on his lap, knowing what her mom had told her a few months ago was right. He was in love with her.

As soon as Star heard his voice, her eyes shifted to meet his and he felt himself getting emotional.

"Oh my god, she knows my voice," he choked out.

"Of course she does," Jasmine responded, tilting his chin up so he was looking at her. "We called almost every day and I played your music while I was still pregnant."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here," he mumbled.

"It's not your fault darling," she told him. "We had no way of knowing that I was going to wind up pregnant before you left."

"That's true," he said, looking down at Star again. "I guess it doesn't matter now cause we have a little girl."

"You're right," she said. "This period of time is over and now we can just move on with our lives as a family of three."

His face softened as she said family of three and she giggled, leaning down to kiss him once more.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you more," he whispered back.

"Nice try, I will always love you more," she responded.

They both laughed and he said, "Shall we move to the bedroom?"

They both stood and went into the bedroom, curling up together on their bed. Anthony laid Star on his chest and Jasmine smiled at his carefulness.

"I love her so much," he whispered.

"I knew you would," Jasmine said. "And it looks like she loves you just as much."

"I will always love my girls," he said.

Even though this secret had been scary and hard, now that it was finally out, Jasmine knew everything would be okay. Her mom was right too. The past 8 months just seemed like a blip on the screen and now they could move on with the newest addition to their family.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

More Time - Chpt.17

Summary: Emma and Steve are both devoted to helping Bucky recover from his injury though the process is slow going. The guys finally admit their feelings to Emma and make her an offer she can’t refuse. Then her decision sets her life on a course she never could have imagined.   Master list can be found HERE.

Warnings / Content: Fluff and feels all the way :)

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! So this chapter has the scene that started the whole fic. I had a dream one morning a few months ago of being bed with Bucky who was trying to distract me while Steve was trying to sketch me. It was so freaking clear and vivid that I knew I wanted to write it, and the more I laid in bed and daydreamed, this whole little world came together. We only have one chapter left too! The final chapter AND the epilogue will be posted tomorrow evening around this time. And then I will be taking a much needed hiatus for a week! In the mean time, enjoy this penultimate chapter! XOXO - Ash

Chapter Seventeen

It was three weeks before the news finally started dying down. Bucky was getting around much easier on his crutches but still needed help with some things. Emma had returned to work part time but still spent every night at the guy’s apartment. She had used up every last day of her paid time off but didn’t regret a second of it. Steve was back on schedule with his appointments and had adjusted his hours at the VA so that someone was always home with Bucky. Though Emma still went back to her apartment for things from time to time she had started referring to their place as “home” without even realizing she was doing it. Bucky and Steve both knew she had effectively moved in and they were more than pleased with that development. They wanted to officially ask her but she seemed so content with things as they were, they were afraid of rocking the boat. Eventually Bucky had made Steve promise that they would ask her the next time the opportunity presented itself.

Bucky had pushed himself too hard the previous day when he’d insisted he was up to walking to the coffee shop for breakfast. It was only half a block away but it was the furthest he’d gone in weeks and had proved to be a little too much. He paid for it dearly for the rest of the day, and the following morning he was still stiff. Emma insisted he stay in bed for breakfast and Steve curled up with him to make sure he stayed put. She didn’t make anything fancy, just bagel sandwiches and coffee so that they could eat while still nestled in their big, overly soft bed. The morning sun was shining in the room, bathing it in a golden glow that made Steve restless until he got out his sketch pad. He needed to capture the way Emma looked in that moment before it was gone. Bucky watched with amusement, remembering all the times Steve had convinced him to model for him. 

It took a few adjustments but once Steve got Emma where he wanted her he started drawing at lightning speed. Emma was laying on her stomach, head cradled on one arm with her hair spilling out around her. She was in just her sleep shirt with her bare legs crossed up in the air behind her. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to hold without moving for minutes on end but she did her best to hold still. Until Bucky intervened. He couldn’t roll around much because of the cast but he was able to stretch just enough to tickle the sole of one foot when she stretched for a moment. Emma squealed and wiggled away while Steve pleaded for them to behave so he could finish. Bucky held up his hands placatingly, retreating back to the head of the bed. He could tell Steve was almost done a few minutes later when he kept glancing up and making random little adjustments. Bucky decided Steve had seen enough and with a great flop he flailed himself forward, landing right next to Emma who he attacked with tickles. Steve grumbled, setting down his sketch pad while Emma screamed for mercy. Not willing to miss out on the fun, Steve pounced as delicately as he could on Bucky while avoiding his cast. Bucky liked to say he wasn’t ticklish but Steve knew better. There were two small spots, one on each side of his torso, on one particular rib, that if hit just right made him howl. After skittering his long fingers along Bucky for a moment he found it and Bucky rolled into a ball the best he could with the cast, yelling at Steve to take it easy on the cripple. Emma was hysterical watching them, relieved to have a moment to catch her breath. 

The chiming of Emma’s phone interrupted their fun and she groaned as she turned off the alarm. “I don’t wanna go.” She lamented, clutching the phone to her chest. She was being dramatic, she knew, but having to go to work and leave the guys in bed was practically torture. 

Bucky exchanged a look with Steve before speaking. “What if you didn’t have to?”

Emma rolled her eyes, “Oh sure, I’ll be sure to grab a lotto ticket on my way in.” 

“No, I’m serious.” 

Emma sat up to look at Bucky with wary eyes, “What do mean?” 

“You love art, it’s why you got your degree in it. You should be doing something in your field.”

It was hard not to bristle at being told what she should be doing with her life but Emma bit back the snarky response she wanted to give. Choosing instead to just be realistic, “That would be great but nowhere that’s hiring can offer me enough to go full time and still manage to live in the city. I have bills, Bucky.” 

“That’s what I’m saying. What if you didn’t have to worry about all those bills? What if you could just take a job at a gallery and work your way up from there?” 

“I won’t take your money.” that Emma did bristle at.

Steve, knowing he’d feel the same in her shoes, jumped in to clarify, “We’re not offering you money, doll. We want you to live with us. You’re here every day now and most of your clothes are here too. After Buck got hurt you basically moved in, it’s just a matter of logistics.” 

“I didn’t realize...” Emma was quiet a moment, she knew he was right and a pang of guilt hit her, “I didn’t mean to take advantage of you guys, it just kind of happened.”

“You didn't take advantage.” Steve assured her, “We want you here. And if you were actually living here you wouldn’t have to worry about rent or utilities and you could take a job at a gallery.”

“I’m not going to just move in and mooch off of you. I’d have to be able to contribute.”

“You can help with groceries sometimes but you should focus on your student loans first since you’re not finished paying them.” 

“It still doesn’t seem fair.”

“Well, it doesn’t feel fair to us that you have this huge debt hanging over your head that you really didn’t have a choice in taking out so you could get an education. But, since we know you won’t let us pay it off, you can put your money towards paying it off faster yourself.” 

Emma was floundering her way through pros and cons, refusing to let herself get carried away at the idea of living with the guys. “But what if… what if things… don’t work out? I can’t do that to you guys.”

Bucky gave her a sad smile, he knew she was worried about their well being just as much as her own. “We love you, darlin’, how could it not work out?”

“What?” she squeaked out, not having expected that answer in a million years.

Bucky hauled himself up so he could pull her in against his chest, “I love you.” he told her earnestly. 

Steve took her free hand, rubbing his thumb over hand soothingly, “I love you too. We both do, and we want you to move in with us. Not because it’s convenient, not because you have more socks in this apartment than we do, but because we want to share our lives with you.” 

“Oh.” Emma squeaked out between tears. The guys were quick to wipe them away from her face, waiting with baited breath for her response. “Okay. Let’s do it. I love you too, both of you, so much.” 

Steve and Bucky enveloped her in a hug, holding her close while tears turned to giggles and then sweet chaste kisses and a few more happy tears. 

Emma was fifteen minutes late to work and gave her two weeks notice that very day. 

The places hiring in the city varied from large world renowned art collectives to small hipster galleries who only featured up and coming artists of one scene or another. Emma saw the allure of both types of places and applied everywhere that looked even remotely interesting. She got a few offers her first week, none that really felt right and one that was completely unpaid. The second week, panic was starting to set in. She was down to her last three shifts at the bar and had two more weeks on her apartment lease. Emma knew the guys wouldn’t push her to take a job for the sake of taking a job but she didn’t want to be out of work long. Her savings had dwindled a bit when she was down to part time while Bucky recovered but she had enough for another month with no pay if it came to it. She really hoped it wouldn’t though. 

Emma was chatting with a group of Friday night regulars, it would be her last shift seeing them, Sunday being her last day. Her phone buzzed angrily in her back pocket and she waited for it to die down but it persisted like a hive of bees. A call then, not a text. She pulled her phone out, trying to catch the call in time but it went to voicemail right as she swiped frantically to accept it. The number was unfamiliar and she hoped it was a gallery with a new offer instead of someone offering a timeshare sales pitch. Two agonizing minutes later a voicemail notification flashed and Emma excused herself for a minute to dart out back to listen to the message.

Hi Emma, this Pepper Potts. Steve and Bucky’s friend. Steve mentioned that you were looking for a job in an art gallery in the city and I was hoping to talk to you about that. I might know of an opening you would be perfect for. Give me a call back when you get a chance. Thanks, bye.

Emma stared blankly at her phone for a moment, dumbfounded. Pepper Potts, a friend of Steve and Bucky’s. Not Pepper Potts, famous, multi-billionaire, savvy business woman who Time had made woman of the year twice now. Emma blinked a few times, still getting her head around the seemingly causal call. She had to call her back, it would be rude not to. But what were the guys thinking not warning her that this could happen? And why would Steve, of all people, who railed against the evils of nepotism and the whole “it’s who you know” side of politics, try to have a friend give her a job. Well, she could at least give the woman a call back. Taking a steadying breath Emma dialed.

“Hello?” a cheerful, but slightly frazzled, voice answered. 

“Hi, Ms. Potts? This is Emma. Steve and Bucky’s… umm…” Emma trailed off. What was she anyway? Girlfriend, partner, lady friend? Emma added that to the mental list of discussion topics for when she got home. Meanwhile, she sounded like an idiot. 

“Oh, Emma!” Pepper chirped, saving her from further fumbling. “Thanks for calling me back.” 

“Of course. I don’t know what Steve told you but I’m just looking for entry level jobs at a few galleries around Brooklyn right now.” 

“Mhmm. Yeah, he mentioned - ohGodnotagain - sorry, can you hold on a minute Emma?”

Emma didn’t even get out a “yes” before she heard Pepper yelling “Morgan H. Stark!” followed by the sound of a crash in the background. There was a moment of hushed scolding and then a child crying and whining unintelligibly. 

Pepper came back to the phone with a long sigh. “Sorry about that. Every time I turn my back Morgan is taking a screwdriver to something trying to see how it’s insides work.” 

Emma bit back a laugh, “What was it this time?”

“The roomba. She’s only five but I swear she’s just a miniature version of her father.” 

“Sounds like you have your hands full.”

“And then some. Now, about the job. It’s not too far away, still in Brooklyn, it’s a nonprofit gallery where they feature up and coming artists who need help getting some exposure. We need a gallery assistant to start as soon as possible.” 

“We?”

“Yeah, I’m on the board of directors there. When Steve gave me your resume I hugged him. The timing is perfect and I think you’d be a great fit.”

“What’s the name of the gallery? Maybe I’ve already applied.”

“The Hideaway. We haven’t listed the job yet though.” 

Emma swallowed roughly. She knew of the gallery in one of Brooklyn’s trendier, more affluent neighborhoods. It was known for being the starting place for many well known modern artists. “Pepper, really I’m just looking to get my foot in the door to gain experience. I appreciate the offer but…”

“But what? You can get experience anywhere, come do it with us. How about this, let me stop by the guys apartment tomorrow and we can look at the portfolio of artists we have right now. Give you an idea of what we’re about? If you don’t want the job it’s fine, but at least take a look. I’ll bring brunch?”

Emma shook her head, she was going to wring Steve Roger’s neck for this. “Okay, I’ll take a look.” 

“Great! I’ll come over tomorrow around ten thirty?”

“We’ll be home.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.” 

Emma hung up, torn between stunned and angry. She wasn’t taking a pity job at Steve’s friend’s gallery. He should have known her better than this. It was tempting to text him, vent some of her frustrations before she got home, but instead she tucked her phone away and went back out to the bustling bar where she could distract herself for a few hours.

It was a little past eleven when Emma finally dragged herself into the apartment. She was not going to miss the exhaustion of a ten hour shift bartending. Steve was perched on one end of the sofa, glasses slipping down his nose while he read a book. Bucky was laying across the other two seats, his head nestled on Steve’s lap. They looked so sleepy and sweet, she wanted to join them but she had a bone to pick first.

“You have some explaining to do.” Emma announced, setting her purse down on the breakfast bar. 

Steve looked back with wide eyes, pushing his glasses up a little, “What?” He sounded guilty too quickly. He knew. 

“Oh, I think you know. Let’s see if you can guess who called me at work tonight? It’s a friend of yours.” 

Steve gulped, “Sam?”

“Don’t play cute, Rogers. Why would you try to get me a pity job?” 

“I didn’t think-”

“Oh damn right you didn’t think. Do you know how that feels, Steve? I can get my own job! I know we’re cutting things close but I still have applications out there and if worse comes to worse I can call back one of the places that was interested and just take one of those until something better comes up.”

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish, a torn expression on his face.

Bucky, who was woken by their tiff, cleared his throat. “We know you can, darlin’. And we’re gonna be proud as hell when you find the right job. No matter how long that takes. Don’t take some job you’ll hate just because it’s there, that’s why you quit Matty’s.”

Emma shook her head, “I can’t just take a job I’m not qualified for because you’re friends with one of the directors.” 

“You’re not.” Bucky countered, “Steve mentioned it to Pepper because she asked how you were doing when they were talking this morning. It was a friendly call, that’s all. Pepper asked for your resume to see if she could throw out some feelers in the community for you. We didn’t know she was going to offer you a job.” 

Deflating a little, Emma scrubbed at her face. Annoyance turning onto herself for biting Steve’s head off. “I’m sorry Steve,” she mumbled “I’m an asshole.” 

Steve gave her a wry smile, knowing all too well the chagrin of putting his foot in his mouth. “Hear that, Buck?” he poked Bucky in the side, “I’m not the asshole this time.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, “You’re always the asshole, punk.” 

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“God help us all.” 

xxXxx

Pepper arrived the next morning with arms weighed down by a large leather tote on one arm and take out bags on the other. “I didn’t know what to get so I got everything.” she huffed out, setting her stuff down on the living room table. 

Bucky was sprawled out on the sofa watching yet another episode of How It’s Made because “Did you see it Steve? Who would have thought it was all in one tube like that?” He had been hooked on the show for months and Steve didn’t have the heart to make him pick something else. It reminded him of Bucky before the war, always so curious and eager to learn. Bucky did have the decency to turn off the TV and slide up so he was mostly sitting, making room for Steve and Emma while Pepper set up. Steve popped out from his studio and started rifling through boxes of take out before Pepper could even set them down on the table. 

“Thank you so much for bringing all this.” Emma told her, trying to play hostess since the guys were lost in the array of breakfast foods.

Pepper swatted Bucky’s hand away from a box of frittata, “Mine,” she practically hissed at him before turning to Emma with a smile, “No problem! I’m glad you were willing to at least look at the portfolio from The Hideaway.”

Brunch was a mostly quiet affair. The food was plentiful and delicious, Pepper having impeccable taste in restaurants, as usual. Between bites of eggs benedict and maple pecan french toast, Steve and Bucky got updates from Pepper on a few things going on with the training program at the Avengers Compound. Steve huffed when she mentioned him coming out to speak to the new trainees. He still wasn't convinced they would want to hear from him since he no longer wore the mantle of Captain America; regardless of how many times Bucky told him that it’s a lifetime title, like being President. Emma agreed with Bucky but Steve forced a change in topics before she could do more than chime in with a “he’s right”. 

Steve offered to clean up the disaster on the living room table so Pepper and Emma could go over the portfolio binder for the gallery. Not wanting to be a distraction, Bucky politely escaped to the bedroom. Forty five minutes later Emma had to admit she was impressed. More than impressed, really. The Hideaway was the exact type of gallery she wanted to be a part of. Pepper gushed about the current team and how lucky they were to have such a tight knit group. It was a dream job but Emma was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“You don’t have to decide anything today. I can hold off posting the job publicly until Monday.” Pepper offered. 

Emma considered it for a minute, still unsure. “I really am tempted. It’s an amazing opportunity.” 

“You would be such a perfect fit for the team. I can see you thriving there.” 

“Me too but, Pepper I gotta be honest; would you be offering me this job if my application came through with the swarm of others?” 

“It would depend.” Pepper was direct, “If it came along with other equally educated and experienced people, then yes. And then for sure the interview would have sealed it. If it had come over with a batch of people more qualified and well suited, then possibly not.”

“Thank you for that.” Emma was relieved by the honesty in Pepper’s answer, “I’ll think about it and let you know by tomorrow night.” 

“Perfect.” Pepper smiled widely like she already knew it was a done deal. Emma thought it was too but she really needed to weigh things out before she jumped in with both feet.

After Pepper headed home, Emma joined Bucky in bed where he was reading a new copy of National Geographic. She figured that she might as well be comfortable while she made her mental pro and con list. Steve joined them after a little while, snuggling his way in between the two of them. 

“Have you decided then?” Steve asked Emma, throwing an arm around her waist.

Emma groaned, “Yes and no.”

“You want to take it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, so badly. But...”

“It seems too good to be true?” Bucky butted in.

“Yeah, it does. It’s the perfect opportunity. Great work environment, paid vacation and sick days, benefits, and holy shit pay bump.” 

“I seem to remember you stressing over something else that seemed too good to be true a few months ago.” Steve teased.

Bucky nodded along in agreement, “And look how well this turned out.” 

“I love you.” Emma kissed Bucky and then Steve in turn. “I think I’m going to take it. But,”

“No buts!” Steve exclaimed.

Emma rolled her eyes and continued unphased, “But, I want you to seriously consider giving a few talks at the compound. You would be such a good example for these kids, Steve.” 

“What’s the point? Who’s going to listen to the guy that can’t raise his voice without risking an asthma attack? These kids are training to work with the Avengers, with some of the best mentors on the planet. They’ll be fine without listening to the ramblings of a retired old man.” 

“Oh sweetheart no.” Emma wrapped herself around Steve, pulling him close so she could run her fingers through his hair and litter kisses across his face. “You are so much more than your body. Your mind is one in a million Steve, and those kids would be damned lucky to hear anything you have to say.”

Bucky shifted himself over to curl around Steve’s other side, sandwiching him between them. “Erskine didn’t pick you for your body.” Bucky reminded him gently. 

“What would I even say?” Steve relented.

“That would be entirely up to you. Just think about it, okay?” Emma pleaded.

Steve nodded in silent agreement. Thinking about it and actually doing it were two very different things. If he could actually think of something to say to a room full of twenty year olds then maybe he’d come around. 

Tag list lovelies: @godofplumsandthunder​ @remilupin22​ @supraveng​ @hiddles-rose​

If anyone wants added or removed please lmk!

[mistydacat]

Cursed || A Felinette Story || Chapter 1

Who would've thought that a seemingly ordinary Thursday afternoon, a letter would arrive in the mail that would change their life?

Marinette sure didn't.

So she was surprised when her parents called her down from her room, claiming that a letter had arrived in the mail for her.

At first, she was confused. It couldn't be from any of her friends; they could just text her. Who would send her a letter?

It must be something super important. Marinette thought to herself. People were only sent letters these days if it was an invitation to some sort of fancy event. Though, she supposed schools sent out letters sometimes as well.

Marinette tried to rack her brain for anything she could have done that would have been worth sending a letter home for, but came up with nothing. Maybe Lila had come up with another lie to get her into trouble again? However, she hadn't been in school for a while, so that didn't make sense.

But one look at her parents' faces destroyed that theory, much to her relief. They were smiling at her.

So now, she was back to confused. Instead of further dwelling on it and jumping to conclusions, like she usually did, Marinette decided to just ask.

"A letter? Who is it from?"

"Do you know that art school that's not too far from here? Lycée D'Arts en Hausse?" Her mother asked.

"Yeah?" Marinette responded, unsure of where this was going.

Her dad handed her the letter with her name printed on it. A similar envelope lay on the counter, opened. She could just make out her parents' names on it from where she was standing.

She opened up hers and began reading. 

Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng,

We, Lycée D'Arts en Hausse's talent scouts, have found the exceptional work you have done as a designer. We have seen the world-renowned rock star, Jagged Stone's new album cover, and the Pigeon Feather hat you skillfully created for a recent Gabriel fashion show. We have unanimously agreed that your talent is something we would happily accept at this school.

Attached to this letter is a pamphlet that features some of the many things Lycee D'Arts en Hausse offers to its design students.

If you think that this school is fit for you, you can send an email to lyceedartsenhausse@gedsb.fr so we can book you an interview and start the school transferring process.

Sincerely,

Lycée D'Arts en Hausse

Marinette jaw dropped.

"No way," she breathed out, looking wide-eyed at her parents.

"It's your choice if you go or not, of course. I know you'll probably miss your friends, but you can always meet up with them on weekends and after school. You could even arrange to spend your lunch hour with them if you'd really like to," her mother said, offering her a comforting smile.

"This could be an excellent opportunity for you to get a head start in the fashion industry." Her father butted in.

Marinette, still in shock, could only nod at her parents. She was still trying to process what was happening. 

She weighed the pros and cons. On the plus side, her dad was right, this would be a great opportunity. She could go to class with other young designers like her and have a professional teacher. She would probably learn things that she wouldn't have been able to teach herself!

But, on the downside, she was moving to a new school. At her new school, she could get away from Chloe and Lila, although they don't really bother her as much as they used to. She didn't know anyone there, and, unlike what would happen if she transferred at the beginning of the year, she would be the only new student. People had already established their friend groups. What if no one wanted to talk to her? Or worse, what if there was someone ever more awful than Chloe and Lila? What would she do then?

"Marinette?"

Marinette blinked back into reality, created by her parents' worried faces.

"Sorry, I'm just... taking it all in, I guess."

Their expressions relaxed. "You can take a few days to think it over if you'd like. This is a big decision." Her mother comforted.

"Thanks, Maman. Thanks, Papa." She kissed both her parents' cheeks. "I love you both so much."

"We love you too, sweetie." Her mother smiled.

»»————- ⚜ ————-««

Marinette went up to her room. She felt that she needed to ask Tikki for her opinion, then she would video call Alya and ask for her advice.

"I'm so happy for you, Marinette!" Tikki beamed.

"Do you think I should go?" Marinette asked her.

"It would be a pretty significant change for you, but not necessarily a bad one! Think of all the new experiences you'll go through!" The kwami of creation cheered.

Marinette sighed. "I don't know. I guess I'm just..."

"Nervous?" Tikki finished for her.

She nodded.

"You have to go through changes in your life, Marinette. It's inevitable. But it makes you a stronger person." Tikki assured her.

"You're right." The young designer smiled at her. "I'm still gonna call Alya and ask for her opinion, though."

Tikki nodded. "Go ahead!"

Marinette unlocked her phone and texted Alya.

ThatOneDesigner: Hey, I need to talk to you about this super important thing.

Alya responded quickly.

ThatOneLadyblogger:???

ThatOneLadyblogger: What is it??????

ThatOneDesigner: Can I call you?

ThatOneDesigner: Sure.

Marinette hit the call button and watched as Alya's face filled the screen after she accepted.

"Hey girl, what's up?" Asked Alya.

"So... I don't know how to say this, but..." Marinette started.

"But what?"

"There's this super awesome arts school that liked my work and offered me a spot there in design!" She blurted out quickly.

Alya gasped. "Oh my gosh, Girl! That's so awesome! I'm super excited for you! Did you respond to them yet? Do you know when you're gonna start? I'm soo jealous! Oh my gosh, tell me everything!"

Marinette smiled at her best friend's reaction. How could she ever have thought she would react otherwise?

She quickly filled Alya in on all the details she knew of.

"-So, I called you to ask for your opinion." Marinette finished.

"Girl, there is no way I am letting you pass up this opportunity! Do you really have a reason not to go?" Alya told her.

Marinette pursed her lips. "Well, I was scared of what you'd think. I didn't want it to seem like I was abandoning you."

Alya let out a fake gasp. "How dare you think so lowly of me!" She yelled dramatically, striking a classic 'woe-is-me' pose. "What kind of best friend would I be if I wasn't extremely over-supportive of you going to this school? Marinette, you should be ashamed! Ashamed, I tell you!"

Both girls simultaneously burst into a fit of giggles, which then erupted into roaring laughter. They didn't stop until they were struggling to breathe, tears forming in the corners of their eyes.

Things always seemed a hundred times funnier when they came out of the mouths of your best friends.

"You know what would totally be awesome?" Alya began after (mostly) recovering from their laugh attack. "You should definitely introduce me, Nino, and Adrien to any new friends you make at your school. That way, we could have one giant friend group! Also, I'll need to run a background check and approve of all your new friends. I don't want you to befriend anyone that could potentially hurt you."

Marinette laughed. "Alya, I don't even know if I'll make any new friends."

"There is no way anyone could meet you and not instantly want to be your best friend. Literally, our whole class loves you, except Chloe, but I don't think she loves anybody. You'll make tons of new friends."

"Alya, you know what? I think I'm gonna go."

Alya squealed. "I knew I could convince you! But you have to call us every day and have lunch with us at least once a week. Also, if you're not busy, we have to meet up on weekends."

Marinette rolled her eyes playfully. "Obviously. Those are all given."

"I can't believe you're gonna go to a fancy art school!"

"Why do I feel like you're more excited about this than I am?" Marinette teased. 

"That's because I am. Overly-supportive best friend, remember?"

Marinette laughed again. Talking to Alya had really hyped her up for the move.

"I've gotta go help my mom with some stuff. See you tomorrow?"

Marinette nodded, giving her friend a little wave. "Bye!"

"Byeeee!" Alya blew a kiss at the screen, then hung up.

»»————- ⚜ ————-««

The next few days went by rather quickly. Marinette had come home from school on Friday and told her parents that she had made her decision. The next thing she did was send an email to the school telling them that she was interested in enrolling. They sent their response back rather quickly and scheduled an appointment for her, which she attended a few days later.

They mostly just gave her a tour of the building and introduced her to some potential teachers. She met the principal, Mme. Ambroise, who had seemed to be a very kind woman who genuinely cared for each one of her students.

A week later was her last day at her current school, Collège Françoise Dupont, and boy was it emotional. 

Her classmates gathered around her, offering their goodbyes and wishing her good luck. Some have even brought gifts. Rose had handed her friendship bracelet with her name on it, and a quick glance showed that the entire girl squad had one as well.

Mylene, Rose, Juleka, and Ivan had also gotten Luka to help them make her a song that she downloaded and vowed to listen to on her first day. Nino had also made a few remixes of it, so she had a variety.

Nathanial had drawn a portrait of her as a half-phoenix, to represent rebirth and starting over.

Alya had gotten her a set of brand new charcoal pencils, and Adrien had gotten her the prettiest sketchbook she had ever seen. It had the Eiffel Tower on it, which he said was because he had heard her say it inspired her. He and Alya had thought that since she would be starting at a new school, she should have some new supplies to really start off fresh. 

The gifts really touched her heart, and when it was time to hug everyone and say their last goodbyes, half the class was almost in tears.

»»————- ⚜ ————-««

Marinette was very tempted to collapse onto her bed the second she got home and contemplate her entire life, but she needed to get her things ready for the next day.

She emptied her backpack of all the workbooks and papers from her old school, but then she decided to dump everything else out so she could clean her bag. There were a lot of crumpled up papers and even if you stray pencils.

Once she was done, she put in her pencil case and a few other supplies, along with the new sketchbook and pencils she had gotten.

When Marinette was done, she realized how much spare time she had since she didn't have any homework to do, and decided to clean her room. Tomorrow was a new beginning, why not start off with a tidy bedroom?

She cleaned up and put away some stray fabrics, yarn, and thread. She also took the time to hang up the art Nathanial had given her.

Marinette stared at her walls, hesitating. Should she take the pictures of Adrien down? 

This was supposed to be the start of a new era for her, right? Adrien didn't seem to have returned any of her affections, so maybe she should move on?

No, what was she thinking!? Just because she was moving to a new school doesn't mean she was giving up!

But at the same time, what if she met someone else? Adrien was clearly uninterested, maybe she was thinking these thoughts because she had already partially moved on. She had even gotten over her stutter. 

Marinette's hand hovered over one of the pictures, then she shook her head. She would just wait and see if her feelings changed the next time she saw him.

»»————- ⚜ ————-««

Marinette spent the rest of her day helping her parents in the bakery and working on a leather skirt. She didn't usually work with leather, as it was one of the more finicky materials to sew, so she was getting some practice in.

Marinette went to sleep early that night, grateful that Hawkmoth had decided not to release an akuma that night. She hoped that maybe tomorrow she'd actually get to school on time. »»————- ⚜ ————-«« 

Cursed Masterlist

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[rejectedbyeharmony]

BOY BYE.

Ok I’ve had some time to cool off so I can finish this story. The point of this blog was to air out my baggage around love and relationships. But writing this story has made me realize that I never had a relationship with Matt. I had one with his child. That’s who I spent all my time with, that’s why I put my heart and soul into. I threw his birthday parties, I made sure we sent everyone Christmas cards, I hung out with other moms who had kids his age so that he had time to socialize. These things seemed important to me, as a parent. They were not as important to his actual parents, and it’s really opened my eyes to what a completely different childhood a kid can have when their parents put them first. This was not the case. All decisions made around the child were in the interest of mom or dad, but never him. Oh, and I was not allowed to have input in any of these decisions, but I was still expected to take on all the responsibilities of parenting him. Seems fair. Okay I’m getting upset again, let me get on with the story…

 Matt was a line cook at a golf club when we started dating. He was frying frozen food and making soggy quesadillas for the already half-in-the-bag club members. He cooked for me a few times and I could tell he had far more potential than he realized. I’ll never forget the time he cooked kale in a pan with ACV, apples and walnuts. It changed my life forever.

He mentioned that he spent one semester in culinary school, and one of his professors told him that he already had all the basic skills he needed to get into the restaurant industry, and he would get a better education in the kitchen than in the classroom. What Matt lacked in self-advocacy, he made up in talent. So I encouraged him to seek out better employment, but he worried about the schedule. Chef’s hours are hard. He would have go into work around noon, and wouldn’t get out until midnight or later. I worked regular hours, 8 to 4, so I promised to step up as a coparent in order to help him make his dream a reality. (Cue the Mean Girls gif: Because I’m SUCH a good [girl]friend.)

 For months, he and I were like passing ships in the night. Sometimes he would get up and hang with me in the morning, make me coffee and kiss me goodbye. Matt would drop his son at a babysitter’s house on his way to work, and I would pick him up on my way home. We would play and have dinner, and watch Paw Patrol or My Little Pony until it was his bedtime. Most nights it was pretty easy getting him to bed, but I dreaded it.

 This poor kid absorbed all of the trauma of the fights between his parents, inconsistency with schedules, being passed from adult-to-adult all day long, and vacillating between a house with rules, and a house with no boundaries. As a result, the kid had night terrors. Every night when I put him to bed, I would brace myself. I gritted my teeth and clenched my butthole waiting for it to start. Then, like a haunted house starts up every night, he would scream and cry for as long as an hour. Sometimes I would lose it, and I would scream with him. I would sit in my bed and scream and cry and curse Matt for not telling me about this before we moved in together. One time, I thought I might actually kill him. I imagined Matt coming home to a bloody mess, and me just sitting in a corner, eyes bugging out, rocking myself, repeating “he just wouldn’t stop screaming.”

 It stressed me the fuck out. I begged Matt to take him to a pediatrician that could help, but their agreement was that Amelia would take care of all the doctor’s appointments. Shockingly, she couldn’t ever find time to take this kid to get him the help he needed, she could barely keep a fucking job. It was devastating to me because all I wanted to do was just help him. I wanted some answers, some solutions… my heart broke for him. I dug deep into the bowels of the mommy interweb to get answers, but all I could find was that weren’t supposed to wake them up.

 Holy. Fucking. Shit. There was no solution to this problem. Talk about psychological warfare. I begged for the bedbugs over the night terrors.

 Matt was only home at bedtime once a week to experience this, so he didn’t believe that they happened every night. And his son didn’t remember them when we asked him about them. I was literally losing my mind. Matt and I fought about it constantly. One day, two of my closest friends—who are both moms—reached out and told me that Matt had contacted them. He explained to them, that because I wasn’t a parent I couldn’t possibly understand what he was going through, and that was my friends should be the ones to tell me I was wrong.

 What the fuck? How fucking dare you… I helped you excel in your career, I provided a home for you and your child, and I made myself a technical single parent every other week. I dealt with your ex’s bullshit, because you refused to, and this is how you thank me? He wasn’t the only one working on creating a career for himself. I had only recently finished college, and started working my dream job with my dream company. I was working my ass off, and he was totally out of line.

 Naturally, both my friends told him to fuck off. I felt so betrayed by him, that, not only would he go behind my back and try to turn my friends against me; but worse, he didn’t even give them all the information, making me sound like a control freak bitch (which is not entirely untrue, just not in this context.) All I wanted him to do was to take the kid to the goddamn pediatrician to find out what we can do to help him.

 Finally, Matt took the kid for a dental appointment, and even though he was four, his dentist was very concerned about the state of his teeth. He asked if we were doing regular dental hygiene. Matt and I brushed his teeth every morning and every night that he was with us, so we knew that we were doing our part. He called Amelia to ask her what she was doing, and she answered that she didn’t think she had to brush his teeth.

Louder for the people in the back: She didn’t think she had to brush his fucking teeth!!!

 She fed him garbage food all day, having no sense of nutrition for herself or her child, and she wasn’t even brushing his teeth. Clearly this woman had no business being a parent. I had enough. I told Matt I needed some space, and asked him to stay with his sister for awhile. Later, he got his son’s cavities filled, and the night terrors stopped. Weird…

 Eventually he moved back in. With no more night terrors, and this incident giving us an upper hand with Amelia, things seems to chill out. Life was much easier, and we were getting along much better. Then, one unfortunately day, I learned that my one of my best friends passed away. He lost his fight against liver failure, and it was very tragic and sad. I texted Matt on my way home “hey just found out JT died and I’m really sad, could you just be home and hang with me tonight?” It was his day off but he usually has something scheduled like playing Frisbee golf, or getting stoned with his friends or whatever, but I just needed him that night. We had been working hard on getting along, and asking him to sit with me that night was me raising a white flag. I just needed a shoulder to cry on. He agreed to stay home and told me he would see me soon.

 Imagine my surprise when I got home and he wasn’t there. And neither was his dog. I texted him and he said he “just ran out to get cigarettes and will be right back!” I couldn’t understand why he took the dog with him, but I didn’t ask, I was too preoccupied with my own grief to try to decode the actions of a stoner on his day off. One time I came home to him naked in our bed passed out and I just left him there. He came downstairs like “babe when did you get here I was in bed waiting for you.” Fuck outta here Sleeping Beauty, you were drooling.

So when he got home, he had a backpack and the dog on a leash and he was dressed to go somewhere. It was obvious he had something to tell me and I really didn’t really want to hear it. He started to tell me that he decided to leave me. Wow, could this have waited a few days, considering the circumstance… In spite of my anger towards him, I still didn’t want to be alone with my grief. I asked him to stay, we could order food and smoke a bowl, watch tv… and he said “I’m sorry, I can’t deal with you being sad right now.” And then, he left. And my heart broke and I never forgave him.

 I let him stay at his sisters house for a few days, and then I asked him to come back and pack up his shit. I was done. I was done getting treated like a babysitter for both him and his child. I was done being a mediator between him and his ex, because they couldn’t communicate. I was done being a life coach and teaching him to stay motivated and ask for more in his career. He had to go be his own man without me. And I needed to learn to grow on my own too. Codependency got the best of me with this one, and it was a hard decision to end it, but I knew it was the right one because he was dragging me down.

 My family could see this, but I couldn’t. I resented them for how they treated him, and how they never supported our relationship. But in hindsight, I’m grateful that they didn’t pretend to accept him. So many relationships before him lasted too long, because my family was complacent for my benefit. We were learning together that we needed to be honest about our impressions and feelings toward the men in my life. This became especially difficult in my next relationship, because he presented as such a great person, when he was really the worst thing that ever happened to me. The next story is the longest, the hardest, and the last. For now, at least.

[theauthorunicorn]

Inevitable -  Part 10 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Summary: Reader is an actress and was about to attend her boyfriend’s concert, Shawn’s when she met her inevitable fate.

Missed anything? Read Inevitable Series below;

Inevitable | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable - Part 2 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable - Part 3 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable - Part 4 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable -  Part 5 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable -  Part 6 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable -  Part 7 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable -  Part 8 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

Inevitable -  Part 9  | Shawn Mendes x Reader

** Italics serves as flashback/memory.

Reader

It was in a restaurant where we’re eating our desserts when he spilled his admiration to me. We’ve been friends for eighteen months to be exact when it happened. I’ll admit we’re something next to nothing. I do like him but not as much as he did for me.

“I’m not busy next week I can watch your concert on Thursday, right?” I told him settling our plans together. It’s been a habit that if either of us is free we made the most of it by supporting each other by any means.

“Yeah.” he answers me in a monotone voice as if I am distracting him. He’s thinking, I can sense it.

“Aaand,” I told him excitedly, “I got a red carpet event next, next week that would be on,” I stopped for a moment to think of what day that event lies on, “On Saturday that week.” I smiled at him as I grabbed his phone from his left in our dining table, “And you don’t have any,” I checked his schedule in his memo, “appointments that day. Yeeey!” I cheered as I hold his hand trying my best to be cute so he can be my date for that event. “Please, say yes?” I smiled awkwardly to him. “Can you spare a couple of hours for me?”

“Yeah, sure, Y/N I will.” he smiled faintly.

“Anything wrong?” I asked him as I saw his loss of interest to our topic.

“No.”

“Bad happened?” I inquired.

“Nothing.”

“Okay. Then, why are you like that?”

He shrugged his shoulders as he took a deep breath as he glanced in the mirror.

“Are you tired of listening to me or eating with me?” my words stumbled to each other as I spoke the sentence. “Are you tired? Of me?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “no, no. Probably.”

I was in awe with the word probably because that means yes and yes he’s getting tired of me. Behold world, I am about to lose my best friend and I am not ready for it.

“Are you tired of me being your friend, Shawn?” I am about to cry over my strawberry topped cheesecake.

“Yes. I’m tired being your friend Y/N.” he said plainly but frankly.

I swallowed my own saliva as he spoke those words and inhaled deeply as I tried to hold back my tears.

“I-” I was pulled off by own despair and questions of why he is getting tired of me. Yesterday we’re okay and now we’re not? I am really losing my favorite person in the world?

“Because,” he hesitated as my eyes were still fixated to his face, “because,” he repeated but this time our eyes met in the middle, “I’m starting to fall for you, really. I don’t want to be your guy best friend who supports you. Don’t get me wrong but I am falling and I am really in love with you, Y/N.” he said as he brushed his hair backward.

I stared at him in awe with my mouth slightly open as his words we’re scribbled by my brain cells. I had to bit my lower lip to bring me back to reality.

“Oh.” was all I have to say.

“‘Oh?’” he mimicked me, “All I get is an 'Oh.’ for my confession?” he questioned me.

My brows furrowed with confusion if it was real or if it’s a bad joke of his because at this moment my heart is pounding more times than it should be and I am falling too, wait, what?

“Just an oh?” he backfired his question again as his brows were knitted to one another like mine and his face is red.

“Wait, is this the dumbest joke you can have tonight?” I laughed to ease my abnormal palpitations.

“Do you think it’s a joke and I’m joking?” well shit, he’s serious.

“Then, when?” his tensions were relaxed as he knows were meeting in the middle.

“Japan.” he answered softly as his left hand found mine. We’re still sitting in our dining table with our desserts in our front and I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I could.

“Japan.” I repeated as I managed to chuckle.

“Yes.” he said as he bits his lips.

“Okay.” as I smiled sweetly to him.

Shawn

“Yeah, I know, yes of course, I don’t want to disappoint them - but, yeah, I get that, Andrew. It’s just that, Y/N needs me.” I sighed over the phone, I am standing outside Y/N’s room and I glanced at her lying in her bed peacefully, “I wish to cancel the tour and move it somewhere, later, I will continue them but not now, not this time.” I begged him over the line. “Okay, I understand, give me time, I’ll give you my answer whether I’ll be back on the road or not. Bye.” I dropped our call.

“You better continue it, son. She’ll be mad to you if you’ll cancel it.” A husky man voice talked at my back and I saw Mr. Y/L/N in my back listening to my call earlier.

“It’s just, sir, I think it’s very inappropriate.” I hesitated answering her father.

“Well, it’s really is, but I know her and how much she loves you, Shawn. She’ll be very disappointed to herself if she’ll know you’ll cancel couple of shows for her.” Mr. Y/L/N warns me and I am falling for his words.

“I am speaking on behalf of my daughter, Shawn. Continue it, that’s what we want, she wants for you.” he inhaled deep as he pats my back. “She’ll be very proud of you, son. And I am too.” he smiled as he encouraged me to continue what I’ve started.

“I’ll talk to her mother and we’ll give you some time. I know you should be back tomorrow morning and I’ll give you this night with her, alone.” he said as I nodded in agreement. He walks towards her room and shuts the door for their own privacy.

I grabbed my phone and texted Andrew, “Okay, let’s do this. Fetch me tomorrow morning. I’m doing this for them, for myself and for her.” I hit the send button.

Reader

It’s me, my dad and my mom in my room. I am trying so hard to maintain my breathing because I don’t want to lose what I had again.

My mom kept brushing my hand but I can’t still feel it even if I wanted to. Something is really wrong with this and I’ll figure it out soon. My dad whispered something to my mom’s ear as she nodded softly and looked at me. He smiled a little but it was genuine. He sits in my bed and started talking.

“Pumpkin,” he started talking and I hate that nickname but never mind it was his to use, “Shawn needs to go back in the road.”

Oh, it left a sting in my heart.

“He wanted to stay but he needs to go. I asked him on behalf of you.” he uttered. I closed my eyes to embrace darkness for a mere second and inhaled deep. Okay. It’s okay.

“We’ll give you the night to have each other. And pumpkin, please hold on tighter, breathe for Daddy, for Mommy we missed your talks and for Shawn, he misses you badly and breathe for yourself because you have this beautiful life ahead for you, baby. We love you.” my dad mumbled in his low and sweet voice as a tear escaped from his eyes.

Yes, I will, dad.

Shawn

It’s ten before one and I am standing in her side, wordless. I inhaled and exhaled deeply a couple of times as my flowers rested on the table with her coffee nobody touched it and I stared at it for minute.

My guitar is lying on the edge of the table soundless like I am. My earphones were in my pocket and my phone too. I am thinking if I’ll play some songs from my phone to her ears or sing one for her.

“Sing something for me, mon amour!” I hear her voice saying this words. These were the same words she loved to say whenever she’s bored and want to cuddle me. I inhaled deep for the last time, I smiled at Y/N even if her eyes were still closed.

I sat on the chair on her side and grabbed my guitar and started singing and playing strings for her. I sang her favorite song, our favorite songs. Minutes passed turns to hours.

I stopped a couple of times and found myself staring at her. I’ll be picked up around nine am and I seek what time is it to the wall clock saying it’s four am now. I rested my head on her bed and dreamed her hands running towards my hair.

I didn’t get enough sleep, three hours to be exact. It’s seven am and I pushed myself from where my head is lying to excuse myself for bathroom. I washed myself, changed my clothes. Almost ready to go.

Seven thirty, I eat some cereals in her room. She’s still asleep and I’m almost ready to go.

Seven forty-five, an hour fifty minutes left before I’ll be away with Y/N.

Eight twenty, forty minutes before parting ways, we should be cuddling, hugging at this time, but still, her eyes were closed and I wished them to be open but still it’s shut.

Eight thirty, I inhaled deep as I grabbed my guitar and my left hand is brushing against hers. If you can feel this my love, open your eyes for me.

Eight forty, breathe for me, my love, breathe to life, Y/N.

Eight forty-five, fifteen before nine, I started to sing Hold On for her.

Eight fifty, they’re here. I know. I’ll be soon away with you, love.

“I don’t know what

You’re going through

But there’s so much life

Ahead of you

And it won’t slow down

No matter what you do

So you just gotta hold on

All we can do is hold on, yeah

Yeah, you just gotta hold on

Just hold on for me.”

“Just hold on for me, love.” I whispered in her ears as I planted a long, soft kiss in her temple. I left a note beside her flowers addressed to her with her name on it.

I started walking away from her bed towards the door before grabbing the doorknob I faced her for the last time, “I’ll see you soon, Y/N. And you should be awake. Okay?” I requested as I tried to smile for before I exited her room. Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N is waiting outside as they embraced me with their goodbyes.

I’m walking away from her, Y/N, tracing the familiar halls of the hospital and my tears are escaping my eyes.

Reader

He said his goodbye in my ear with a soft whisper. I am crying and it’s crushing my soul. He planted a kiss in my temple to seal our goodbye. But, I felt it. Shawn’s kiss. I felt it and a legit tear escaped my left eye to prove it.

I am alive.

Inevitable -  Part 11 | Shawn Mendes x Reader

[qveensbury]

ch3: the cleaning lady

ch 1    |     ch 2    |     AO3     |     ko-fi

Markl asked Sophie to meet in the Chemistry tutoring center. He needed to be available in an emergency and got called away in the middle of tutoring.

“You can sit at the Howl’s desk. I’ll be right back.”

Sophie reached across the desk and pulled out a highlighter. She underlined some parts of her reading. She began to put the highlighter back when she realized markers, highlighters, and pens were all over the desk. She began to arrange them in a penholder according to color.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Sophie jumped up, straightening her back. She whirled around to the voice.

Howl was bent forward, looking at his desk.

“I was organizing. This makes more sense.”

“To you,” Howl took what was in her hands back, placing them back where they were. “I have a system.”

Sophie bristled.

“Sorry.” She moved out of his way.

“Oh, Howl. Sorry if I knew you were coming back, I’d have ask Sophie to sit somewhere else,” Markl closed the door behind him.

“It’s fine. We’ve come to an agreement.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. In the month of tutoring, she’d barely run into Howl. He kept floating in and out and Sophie couldn’t figure out if she wanted him to stay or go.

Howl found her in the library.

Sophie frowned at him as he made himself comfortable at her table. He was doing it again: invading her personal space, acting as if they knew each other.

“I’m avoiding a meeting with my advisor,” he mentioned.

“You’ve got to be joking with me.”

“She scares me half to death.”

“Howl, you’re what 23, 24?”

“24.”

“And you’re afraid of your research advisor?”

“I’m afraid I’ll disappoint her.”

Sophie raised an eyebrow.

Howl continued, “She has really high hopes for me.”

“Well, you can’t exactly meet them if you don’t do anything.”

He shrugged, opening his laptop.

“Go to your meeting.” And leave me alone so I can study.

He ignored her.  

“So you’re just not going to go?” Sophie gaped at him. “You have a year left in your program...What do I have to do? Walk you there like your first day of kindergarten.”

“Will you?” Howl bolted up.

“Will I what?” Sophie recoiled back.

“Walk me there.”

Sophie paused, unsure if he was pulling her leg. “Okay,” she responded with hesitation.

He began putting his things away.

She exhaled in defeat, clearing her things. “Lead the way.”

If Sophie thought Howl was lying, the waves of nervous energy coming off of him corroborated his story.

“Isn’t it just a check-in?”

“It is.”

“Aren’t you on schedule?”

“I am.”

“So why are you worried”

“Some stones should stay unturned. I don’t want to be pushed in a direction I don’t want to go in. I chose to go into Chemistry because of how close it was to magic. There’s so much good that can come from unlocking these mysteries, figuring out spells…” His face grew dark. “Somethings should be left alone. The school has this relationship with the Department of Defense and I’ve had professors introduce me to personnel and...I never want to be a part of a plot to take human lives. I’m afraid one day I’ll walk into a meeting and I’ll be up against the wall.” His tone shifted, mimicking someone, “Our most promising student, an asset to our country.”

“Can’t you plead your conscience?”

“In theory.”

“Isn’t theory right up your alley, Mr. Scientist?”

Howl laughed, throwing his head back, “You got me there.”

+

“How was the last meeting?” Markl opened a container of steamed rice and started dividing it between Howl, Sophie, and himself. Sophie and Howl continued unpacking the Chinese takeout.

“Had my good luck charm, so it went well.” Howl winked at Sophie, who snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Oh boy Sophie.” Markl snorted. “How do you put up with it?”

“You guys started feeding me and giving me coffee. I’m impossible to get rid of now.”

“We’d never let you go!” Howl leaned forward grinning.

Sophie had to remind herself that his eyes only sparkled more because Howl died his hair black.

‘My professor take me more serious like this.’

Only because his hair was different, right.

Lettie had midterms around the corner and trusted Sophie’s new friends would be decent fill-ins.

Instead of listening to Business department gossip or what happened at the coffee shop Lettie worked at, Sophie did her art homework to chemistry fun facts and mini research presentations.

This was the latest one about Howl’s compost experiment.

+

Of all the meetings to be late.

Sophie huffed crossing her arms.

She pulled her phone and sent him several texts. Her knees bounced up and down.

She checked both sides of the hallway. She sighed again. Howl was close to being ten minutes late.

Sophie knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

She followed the instructions. “Hello Dr. Sulliman.”

“Yes?” The older woman appraised Sophie.

Sophie felt her corduroy overalls threw a neon “Unpolished” over her head. “Doctor Sulliman, hello. My name is Sophie. I’m Howl’s friend. He’s running late and I didn’t want you to think he’s skipping his meeting.”

Dr. Sulliman pressed her lips together in a line and turned to her computer.

“Howl should be here soon,” Sophie blurted. “He was telling me about his last experiment and I’m sure you’ll find it fascinating. He’s really passionate about plants. I didn’t even think you could make a connection between chemistry and plants but the biochemistry bridge Howl explained really put it all together. What pun did he use again? Something about a blossoming bridge because it was still kinda new.” Sophie chuckled. “I’m sure you know this but he’s really good at, I mean he’s very skilled in breaking down big science concepts. Howl didn’t patronize me because I’m not in the sciences and avoid showing me what he’s working on or discovered. And he makes it super accessible. But it’s still so amazing.”

Dr. Sulliman raised a hand. “Howl’s appoint was actually rescheduled for 2:45 not 2:30.”

Oh. Sophie felt her face burn as the blush marched across her cheeks.

“But, I see Howl has some good friends. We’ve been wondering who has been getting Mr. Pendragon to show up to his meetings. We sort of figured it was a person who caught Howl’s eye he was trying to mature for.” Dr. Sulliman leaned forward and rested her chin on her bridged fingers. “But, I never imagined flighty Howl would enamor such a practical girl. Blossoming, bloom, an apt word for your relationship. I’ve seen your disposition towards Howl change.” The older woman smiled, “You’re in love.”

Sophie couldn’t breathe. Her ears started ringing. “I’m sorry. You must--”

“Sulliman!” Howl opened the office door. “You won't believe what my freshmen did in lab today. Next year we’re going to crush Ingary U in the state competition. Oh! Sophie.”

“I was just leaving!” She shot up clutching her bag to her body. “I mixed up the times. I’ll let you finish. Goodbye Dr. Sulliman.”

“Goodbye dear. Do consider what I said.”

“Later Soph.”

“Bye,” she squeaked.

next >>

[rainbowglittr]

Love and Marriage - Chapter 7 (Mature - Minors DNI)

Description:

After a loss in the family uncovers a family secret, Jaleia and her husband Jesse are forced to balance one family crisis after another along with their budding careers and their plans to expand their family. Will the pressure to keep everyone else together ruin their own relationship? Can ruined relationships be fixed before it’s too late?

tw: pregnancy loss

Chapter 7:

"JESSE! JESSE! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" I yelled from the bathroom. I heard his footsteps get louder.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"He said, looking worried and out of breath.

"Look at these." I showed Jesse the pregnancy test I had hidden behind my back.

"You're????? Preg-What?" He said, his faced was so shocked. He picked me up and spun me around.

"I don't know what made me take the test, I'm only like two days late but I just thought might as well and, well. I'm pregnant!"

"Oh my God!"

"We're gonna have a baby!"

"We are gonna have a baby!"

"But you can't tell anyone. I don't want to tell anyone until I'm past the first trimester. In case, you know. " I told him,

Holding his hands.

"Not even my mom?" He said.

"Definitely not your mom! She would tell everyone, and she'd want to give me advice I didn't ask for, she-" He kissed me, his hands holding my face close to him.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I looked around Starbucks, before my eyes found who I was searching for. Her maroon purse sticking out from her perfectly coordinated black pantsuit. She hadn't seen me yet because she was on her phone so I snuck up behind her.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I screamed as I jumped out at her.

"If you don't stop doing that, you crazy person!" She said as she slapped me on the arm. I laughed and sat down next to Kiara. My very best friend since the second grade.

"Hey sis, what's good?" I said smiling like I hadn't just acted a fool.

"Don't give me that after what you just pulled!" She said while giving me a hug. We hadn't seen each other for way to long. Over a month and I really missed her. We both picked careers that had us extremely busy. While I went to medical school, she went to law school and now works at a law firm that does hundreds of cases a year. She specialized in Family Law. It was great when we both went to med/law school because we both understood how busy we were and although we could barely hang out we were still super close. Now we are both Married- after being maid of honor at each other's weddings. (That caused a huge argument with my sisters cause I didn't choose them.)

"Did you order yet?" I asked her.

"Yeah, but I ordered for you too." She said.

"It's these moments when I realize how much I love you. So what's been going on?"

"I have a crazy divorce case. Sis, they are tiring me out, drugs, cheating, pettiness, kids! I mean this case could drag on for another six months! I'm tired of dealing with them."

"Well, as you know divorces are messy. Are these the ones that keep posting everything on Instagram Live?"

"Yes! No matter how many damn times I tell this woman, 'stop putting everything on Social media, this can and will be used against you, it doesn't matter what he posted on Facebook,' she won't listen and it's making this more difficult than it has to be!"

"Aww, I would say it'll get better but she ain't gonna listen. How's your mom, how's Mike and the kids?" I asked. Mike is her husband.

"Everyone's good. Mike is getting on my nerves as usual. But really he surprised me at work a few days ago with flowers and lunch. It was sweet! The kids are fine."

"Awww, he surprised you?"

"Yeah, but not as much as I surprised him later!"

"Nasty!"

"Its natural! Our drinks are ready." She said. I got up.

"You ordered and paid, I'll get them, sit!" I walked up to the counter to grab our drink and brownies- there is no way I would ever leave Starbucks without a brownie. As I was walking back to our seat I saw the cutest little girl- only about 1 year old. I had to stop and say how cute she was. Her mother had the prettiest dreads with beads and her little girl had the cutest afro-puffs. In nine months that would be me and Jesse. Our little baby was growing inside me and it took everything in me not to tell Kiara. But if I made Jesse promise then I couldn't tell either.

"Your daughter is so cute!" I said to the mom.

"I guess you didn't see me trying to get her out of the car. Thank you, I'm Alicia. "

"Jaleia, she's so adorable!"

"Thank you, Ari say hi!" Her mom said. Ari looked at me and waved her hand. I waved back.

"Aww, I better get out of here before my fraps melt. Bye Ari!" I said waving again.

"Say bye Ari!" Her mom said. I waved again and got back to my seat.

"So what did you stop for?"

"A baby, she was so cute! Don't roll your eyes! Babies are very distracting!" I said handing her a drink and her cookie.

"Anyway, how's Jess doing?"

"He's much better, Diana is staying with us temporarily. His mom is selling the house, and poor Di can't stand to be in it. So she's staying with us until Aiesha finds a new home." I sipped my frappuccino.

"How that been going besides scaring her for life?"

"First of all it's not funny. I have never been more embarrassed. You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"You should come over and have a sleepover!"

"Girl! Who? I have two kids!"

"So? I want this so it should happen." She laughed.

"Maybe some other time."

"Oh come on! Please?"

"Maybe."

"Please."

"You're never giving this up are you?"

"Nope!"

Kiara sighed. I could tell I could wear her down if I was persistent enough.

"I'll think about it."

>>>>>>>

"Babe, I'm home!" I yelled as I walked through the door after meeting with Kiara. Usually I hear Jesse respond back but all i heard was yelling. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could hear Jesse and Diana yelling at each other. I put my stuff down and started climbing up the stairs.

"Well you're not my dad! You're my brother, why can't you just be chill about this?"

"I'm not dad, but while you live with me, I am responsible for you and you cannot stay overnight in New York! Are you crazy?"

"Are you? Can you get out my room?" Diana asked. I peeked into her room. I could practically see steam radiating off of Jesse at this point. I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "Maybe we should give her a little space."

"How much space does she need? She's in my damn house." Jesse said, but allowing me to steer him out the door. We went downstairs to the living room.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"She's mad at me because her and her little friends want to camp out in Central Park overnight to see the free Trevor J concert and I said no. Can you believe it? Central Park, at night?" He said as he started pacing.

"Wow, yeah that's crazy. I would never. Overnight?" Central park is NOT the place for sixteen year olds to be at night. New York was my favorite city but the people there are crazy as hell. There's no way she thought that through.

"I offered to take her and her friends early in the morning but apparently that's not good enough."

"Calm down babe, you're going to walk a hole in our carpet."

"Who the fuck does she think she is, talking to me like that? Damn right I'm not dad or he would've knocked her teeth out for talking to him like that. She must've lost her damn mind." He said still fuming. I grabbed his hand and pulled him close to me. I kissed his cheek gently.

"Give yourself and Diana a few minutes to cool down. Once you compose yourself maybe you can talk to her and work that out. When's the concert?"

"I don't get it. I have been nothing but nice to her. What the hell was that?"

"Babe, I know that this is frustrating but don't forget she's not herself. She's still struggling and this whole brat thing is just a reflection of that. She's a teenager. They're crazy." I said as I wrapped my arms around him. He sighed, and looked at me.

"Yeah, you're right. How was your day?" He said, rubbing my back.

"It was fine. You know I met with Kiara today."

"Yeah, how is she?"

"She's good, Mike is going to have some sort of kickback, or something I don't remember but you're invited. Text him. We have a doctor's appointment this week."

"Are you excited? What time?"

"I am so excited! We're going to have a girl and she's going to have your face, and your voice, and my brain, and she's going to be so cute and-"

"Wait, You gotta tell me when and where, Love."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot. Um let me get my phone. I think Thursday at 6:30. Does that work?" I said looking around for my phone.

"Anytime works, love. I'll be there no matter what." He said kissing me.

"I'm so excited!" I said bouncing up and down.

"I can tell," he laughed, "You wanna hear my new song?"

"Yes! Carry me!" I said. Jesse bent down and I climbed on his back.

"You know there's going to be a time when we're both too damn old for this, right?"

"But that day is not today, to the studio!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After a long discussion about respect, Jesse and Diana had come to an agreement. The concert was on Thursday at 7am. It was one of those morning show concerts. They would get up really early in the morning, meet up with her friends, go to the concert, Jesse supervising of course, and would spend the rest of the day at Jesse's studio in the city. All Diana had to do was not catch an attitude. I admired how much Jesse was really trying with his sister. Even though she kept pushing the Hell of out his buttons he still tried to be fair and understanding. I could tell he was going to be a really amazing father and that made me even more excited. So far we both were able to keep my pregnancy a secret even though I felt like I was about to explode.

Jesse's mom scheduled Diana with a grief counselor. Jesse was supposed to take her every Saturday. When they told Diana, she blew up on them and her mom almost snapped on her. Jesse had to keep Aiesha from slapping her into another century. Eventually she agreed to go, (as if she had a choice) and everything calmed down. She had been really moody lately and driving Jesse crazy but I guess since he was going to take her to the concert she had been calm for the past few days.

Jesse was in the basement with his friends playing 2K or whatever game they were into this week. Naim, Dre, and Jamal have been his best friends since college, Mike got along with Jesse as soon as they met. We used to do a lot of double dates with Kiara and Mike. I was never a video game person, so I didn't know what the difference was between 2K, COD, or whatever. Jesse didn't play that often but when he did, you could not get him away.

I was doing the laundry, which meant I had to keep going up and down to the basement where our washer and dryer were. Jesse and I took turns with a lot of the chores, and it was my week to do the laundry. Every time I came down I would watch Jesse with his friends for a bit. They were so cute. They would have their snacks and beers on one table, videogames on another. Half the time they would argue about sports. Jesse was a big kid again.

As I took the clothes up, I stopped and yelled, "Do you guys need anything?"

"Nah, they can get their fat asses up!" Jesse replied.

"You just mad cause you lost!" One of his friends said.

"Shut up, man! Can we get some more wings?" Jesse asked, looking up from the TV for just a moment.

"Sure babe, I'll be right back!" I said and started climbing up the stairs.

"You need help?" He asked, eyeing the basket of clothes.

"Relax, I'm fine, it's not heavy." Once I got upstairs I put the clothes down on a chair, when I looked up Jesse's mom was sitting on our couch.

"How did you get in here?" I asked in disbelief.

"My key." She said as if it was obvious. We never gave his mom a key to our house. Did we?

"Who gave you a key?"

"Where's Jesse, I have to square a few things away with him."

"Downstairs. How did you get a key to our house?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She said smugly as she walked into our kitchen. What the hell is wrong with her? I stood halfway down the stairs.

"Jess, your mom is here, and did you give her a key to our house?"

"It was supposed to be for emergencies." He said not even looking up from the game.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"I didn't think I'd have to, I never thought she'd need to use it." He said, still not looking up.

"Jesse!"

"Jaleia!"

"If you don't get your ass up here in the next thirty seconds!" I yelled. He hit pause, to which all the guys groaned, and started to come up the stairs.

"You know I'm just kidding with you." He said.

"I know, but did you really have to give your mom a key?"

"I didn't think she'd actually use it." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Or what? What you gon' do? Huh?" I said, slightly pushing his shoulder.

"Come here!" He said and I ran behind the couch. He chased me, almost caught me until I jumped over the couch. I ran into the kitchen where I had to make a hard stop, just to avoid running his mom over. Jesse came behind me two seconds later, putting his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.

"Sup mom." He said as we both tried not to laugh at her look of confusion.

>>>>>>>>>>>

It was Thursday evening and we were driving to my OB/GYN appointment and Jesse was telling me all about how great the concert went with Diana.

"Yeah, she had a great time! Not a single complaint. She said at the studio that she wanted to spend the summer there interning for me. I was shocked, I didn't think she would be interested but I guess seeing it in person is different."

"That's great! Maybe it will be good for her. She can sing like you, maybe she will grow that talent."

"Yeah, I would love that. But I already told her that she would have to be professional, and listen and do what I told her. So if she can handle that, it'll be lit."

"Lit? Really lit?" I said side eyeing Jesse. I turned into the parking lot of the Doctor's office.

"What? I can't say lit?"

"Not after turning twenty-five, no. Ready?"

"Wait, can you turn around you got something on your-" He said so I moved closer to him and he kissed me.

"Now I'm ready." he said.

"You so silly!" I said smiling.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Jesse sat in a chair next to the exam bed. He held my hand while we waited for the doctor to return. He started to softly sing Lost Without U by Robin Thicke. I smiled as I listened to him sing. The door opened.

"Hey Doc!" Jesse said. I slapped his arm.

"Hey guys, I got the results of your blood work back." Dr. Carter said.

"And?" I said, my heart speeding up because the look on her face wasn't exactly a positive one.

"I'm sorry but you've had what we call a chemical pregnancy." Dr. Carter said.

"Chemical pregnancy? What does that mean?"

"That I'm not pregnant anymore." I said looking down at my lap.

"Unfortunately, the embryo never implanted in your uterus, due to some sort of issue during development. Sometimes genetic or chromosomal but most of the time we'll never know. Your body recognized that it wasn't a viable pregnancy and stopped the pregnancy from continuing. There was nothing that could've prevented this from happening I'm so sorry Jaleia."

I didn't say anything. I felt Jesse kiss the side of my head.

"Um, when could we try again?"

"I would give it about two weeks just allow everything to return to normal but really as soon as your ready to try again you can. As long as there are no abnormal symptoms, you can try again whenever your ready."

"Thank you, Dr. Carter." I said.

"I'll have a nurse prepare for at- home instructions for you. If you have any questions or anything concerning happens call me, I want to call me. I'll see you again in a week for a follow up. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks again, Dr. Carter." Jesse said. She walked out the door. Jesse squeezed my hand.

"I'm sorry baby." He said, kissing my cheek.

"I don't know what to say." I said. I got off the exam chair. Jesse held out hands and I fell into them. I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks as he rocked us back and forth.

"I just wanted this so bad." I said.

"I'm so sorry baby. I know how excited you were." He said, rubbing circles into my back.

"Let's go, I want some ice cream." I said. Jesse chuckled, and grabbed a few tissues and wiped my face with them.

"Then ice cream is what you'll get, Love. I love you."

"Love you too babe."