#p: flashback

[bejinyoung]

flashback.

@renxbe

the thought had vaguely occurred to jinyoung that these songwriting classes reminded him an awful lot of high school. he's always been happier with a more physical approach to learning, hands-on and exploring kinesthetically a much more enriching experience for him. sitting at a desk and penning down notes about stanzas and phrasing is not his cup of tea, honestly. but jinyoung doesn't complain; he can't now that he's in the company known for their creativity. he just ignores the way his skin prickles and how similarly the sun passes by the classroom window, the shadows shifting in the room the same way they used to in school.

jinyoung does his best to focus. maybe he even succeeds a bit, engrossed in his work as he tries his hand at lyric writing, whispering the words on the paper back at himself under his breath and trying to imagine them in rhythm, his fingers flexing and tapping against the pen as he tries to remember every word he can think of that rhymes with sway. he shifts in his seat, as if reshuffling his body will make his brain work any better, and scribbles down options in the margins of his paper: lay, may, bay, day, hay...

content/trigger warning: grooming, implied csa

her nails brush against his shoulder unintentionally, just the idle movement of an instructor who's trying to get a look and see if she needs to help a pupil out. and really, jinyoung should know that it means absolutely nothing; he's never seen this coach before, he hardly even remembers her name, and yet it's not her nails that he feels on his back even after she's withdrawn and moved onto another trainee. there was another woman, another teacher, not so many years ago that jinyoung can simply forget it now. her touches had been soft but laced with meaning, metaphorical poison under her fingertips each time she reached out to her favorite student. he hated it, he was addicted to it. no one else told him they loved him like she did and he believed it was real back then, not just some fantasy played out by a grown adult who surely knew better than to do what she was doing.

in a moment, jinyoung's stomach turns. he's frozen in place, hardly able to breathe as his vision goes blurry around the edges. his hand clasps the pen so tightly that his fingers turn white from the effort. it takes everything he has in him not to immediately run out of the room, to get as far away from her as possible. no, he doesn't want to cause a scene. he'll be good, just enough so he doesn't stand out from the rest of the class. he takes one deep, shuddery breath in and tries to keep from screaming.

he can't tell how long it is, but he's the first one out the door when the class is finally dismissed. it's as if he's in a daze, a panic so deep-set that he hardly even sees the people around him as he pushes against the crowd, desperate to find somewhere quiet and secluded to let this intense wave of emotion run its course. it would never be so simple, why would it be? when has moon jinyoung's life ever given him what he wants from it? he all but bowls over another trainee, eyes unfocused and still not quite seeing the young man in front of him even as he reaches out to steady the both of them, sorry, sorry, on his lips as he apologizes for nearly knocking them both over. he only realizes it's ren when he's trying to skirt around him again, only to stop short when he realizes this is exactly where he was trying to go all along; perhaps one of the least utilized practice rooms and an escape that jinyoung had found quite by mistake in his earliest days as a trainee. he doesn't have room to wonder what ren is doing here. he's at the end of his rope as it is, dangling over the edge before the final string snaps and he's falling into the icy deep end.

with nowhere left to run, despite the audience he now has, jinyoung collapses in on himself. he doesn't cry, he hardly makes a sound at all save for shallow gasps for air, choking on his own breaths as he tries and fails to fight down the ringing in his ears, his own heartbeat pounding wildly out of control, the terror and panic as he recalls what it felt like to be sixteen again. i'm the only one who could love you. did she ever actually say that? jinyoung can't remember; he just hears an all too familiar voice echoing in his skull.

"stop!" he cries out, followed by another fit of struggled sips of air. he wraps his arms around himself, shielding his body from a monster unseen yet very much felt. how embarrassing, another voice, not quite his own, whispers from inside his head. you should have been happy she did that with you; you're a man after all. no, not then; back then, jinyoung was still very much a lost child.

[fridayiminlovemp3]

not to talk about h*rry p*tter in 2024 but does anyone remember the fucking cursed child 😭😭 that book was so bad like i used to be OBESSED like unhealthy hyperfixation OBESSED with harry potter as a kid but that book was so fucking bad it literally snapped me out of it and i stopped thinking about and caring about harry potter. i remember i went to a whole book launch with my family and on the way home i started to read it and all the colour left my face along with any respect i had for jk r*wling. like why is harry potter an abusive father. why is voldemorts snake a sexy woman. why does he have a secret evil daughter. i need to throw rocks

[ask-spiderpool]

[x]

[oodlesodoodles]

[ohgreat-moretapes]

(is there anything you need/would like from us to progress the story, or are you content with the pace you've got now? /gen)

OOC: I'm gonna be completely real with you I'm stalling until the 15th so I can afford to buy the comics so I can figure out what the inside of Jessica's house looks like SHSBFNFKFM

dw tho I have some really tasty filler episodes in the meantime and also this gives me an opportunity to answer as many non-plot asks as I can cause I love them all and it's honestly so sad I will never be able to answer 100% of them ;v;

-Olea

[icekingandbetty]

memory of a memory + simon petrikov

[draculasweedsmokinggirlfriend]

Quincey: *seeing the bite on Lucy's neck* But what took the blood out?! This reminds me of this mare I once had that had similar bites

Jack: oh and the mare turned out fine right.... right?!

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

shanks & buggy, and giving up on your dreams

before my latest reread/catch-up on one piece i had not given the history between buggy and shanks much thought, except to wonder a little how they went from this:

(in the chapter 19 flashback, set a day or so before buggy gets his devil fruit powers; they're at most 12 here.)

to this:

(a single panel flashback in chapter 434 to the day roger was executed; they're 15 here.)

like. what happened in the intervening (three?) years to make shanks think he might get a positive response to this request? and why is he making the request in the first place? he's the one who said they should go their own ways, originally.

six hundred fifty chapters later, we get a… partial answer. but not to shanks' side of the story.

(from the chapter 1082 flashback, of course; this panel is from an unspecified time, but it's beanie buggy so probably closer to 12 than 15)

young buggy (the littlest bug, omg ;~;) sees shanks' potential and gives up on his own dreams (of becoming the pirate king, i assume).

now, is it just that he gave up on his own dreams, or did he make a new dream out of shanks becoming pirate king? that isn't clear… but I think that must be what happened.

(more of the chapter 1082 flashback, a more detailed version of the flashback from 434; they're 15)

because after roger is executed, and shanks tells buggy he's changed his mind about going to laugh tale, buggy's shocked response and rejection feel deeply personal. but he digs up some ancient baggage between them to use as his excuse for leaving, rather than state his true feelings…

which suggests shanks didn't know buggy was so invested in shanks becoming the pirate king.

so. it seems to me. that somehow shanks became aware that buggy's goals had changed. but he did not know why, or what they'd changed to. just that they were now (supposedly) compatible with his own.

at which news I imagine he thought: this is great! now buggy can be part my crew and travel with me while we both go after our goals!

🙃

this is just enough of an answer to make me obsessed. i have not been able to stop thinking about 1082 and its implications for weeks.

h e l p

[xbraveheartx]

To add onto this post you also realize just how… abrupt life at the Monad Charity House started for Carlo? He says “I don’t wanna be here! How many sleeps til daddy gets back? 10 sleeps? 20??” and he’s whining like he really didn’t plan to be there at all.

The girl (pretty sure it’s Sophia) tries reassuring him and calming him and introduces him to Romeo. But you can tell just the entire experience was this… unwanted… unexpected… thing? Like Geppetto just one day packed his bags and dropped him off and never even said when he’d come back. That’s awful, as a kid. The feeling of abandonment must have been so hard.

No wonder he just glares at the painting made of him. He never wanted to be there. He didn’t ask to become a student there.

He just wanted to be with his father.

[roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid]

dear idkhow fans: you are all beautiful, and i love all of you, BUT our fandom name is The Search Party! so I dont wanna see anyone else calling themselves an "idkhow-ie" ! this is for your own good! i love you, this has been a psa

[bapydemonprincess]

AND IT SURE WOULD BE NICE TO SEE HOW THIS BABY WAS TAKEN BACK TO THE MANOR AND CLEANED UP AND GIVEN A ROOM AND CAREFULLY TAUGHT WHAT TO TOUCH AND NOT TOUCH AND WHAT TO DO AND-

[13eyond13]

If you've ever had somebody make a premature "I love you" confession to you you know how not actually super romantic it is

[dapperrokyuu]

Luka vs. Hyuna round where itll be the only song without singing because Luka immediately starts having a breakdown and Hyuna is standing there, just...at a loss.

[anonymergremlin]

....

Being in the Central Station Area after the Swamp feels like this.

*screams while 'Ode to joy' plays in my head, aggressively*

[gotyouanyway]

romana is so unwell for using 117/etra/theta as her password

[perelka-l]

I have recently read this fic (mind the tags pls) and, by talos, I am absolutely insane about it and the series and those two, bashing head into the walls kind of insane. this is how i try to feel less insane (i am more insane).