Wyll being a terrible monster hunter is something that is so special actually. told to hunt heartless devil? immediately convinced of her goodness and humanity and without hesitation agrees to defy the devil who has his soul in custody and spare karlach at tremendous personal physical cost. vampire in camp? well hes handsome and funny and pretty polite about where he puts his teeth so it’s fine all things considered. finding out the person who ritualistically disemboweled a tiefling in front of him is a bhaalspawn like an unholy progeny of the god of murder that is culturally immediately reviled? no that’s his friend and he completely trusts in their ability to fight their nature with their own inner light. it doesn’t matter that they created the absolute they’re not that person anymore. Like Wyll. you are literally categorically not hunting the monsters. guy of all time
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diavolo makes a pact with you
well, you never know
once upon a time, he brought it up to lucifer and barbatos
they shot him down immediately
receiving a lecture is bad enough but imagine receiving one from BOTH lucifer and barbatos
rip
he takes it like a champ tho. he’s way better than me cause i hate getting told off
years pass
the devil’s pudding event happens. diavolo almost learns his lesson that day.
like he says he has but there’s a lot of times where that memory crosses his mind and he sits there like huh. wish that could happen again
YOU learnt the lesson though, so it’ll NEVER happen again
if he brings it up on his birthday there’s a good chance you will look at him with disdain
he’s catching up on paperwork when something crosses his mind
maybe you’d be more into it if you had a pact with him?
the lecture he got from his two closest friends though was pretty awful though
but…
what if it was in secret?
what if, and he’s just throwing out ideas here, he gave lucifer a ton of work and made barbatos go on holiday and summoned you to his castle?
hypothetically.
you know, a will-never-happen scenario.
barbatos appears at his door soon after that.
“hey, barbatos. what did you need?”
“oh… nothing. i just got a bad feeling, that’s all.”
oops
another year goes by and the idea pops into his head again, about the same time as he sees you cuddling up with mammon
Right.
diavolo’s situation and this isn’t even remotely the same, because you don’t need a pact to cuddle and mammon is your first so he’s on a separate level altogether, but he chooses to ignore these details
it’s barbatos’ birthday. he gets sent off. hearing complaints, diavolo threatens him with two weeks
lucifer weirdly gets hit with a ton of work randomly. damn that’s crazy huh. do your best!!!
and you are summoned to the castle. you also get a bad feeling.
he tries to convince you that having a pact with him is a good idea
(some people are normal about this; i am not and wouldn’t need convincing personally)
you refuse.
if you bring this up to lucifer if he asks about your visit he is so screwed
ah, but maybe he could make you his unwilling partner in crime…?
pulls a lucifer and forces it on you. suddenly you have a big fancy mark around your neck.
he’s pretty proud of it. you cover your face with your hands and go oh my god.
it feels like it could be exasperation but he would really prefer for it to not be that
lucifer asks what diavolo wanted you for and you weakly say it was for new clothes. new clothes that conveniently hide your collarbone
all of this is unraveled when someone (mammon) walks in on you getting dressed and screams bloody murder about the weird MARK on your neck
pacts are permanent and so is diavolo getting lectured
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Urban Fantasy concept: Minotaur as an emergent phenomenon. Any sufficiently labyrinthine structure, left unattended for long enough, has a chance of generating a minotaur, if the area is properly “primed” by any kind of mass “sacrificial” death; from there the minotaur self-perpetuates by murdering Urbex practitioners, health inspectors, and dumb teens looking for a hangout.
Premodern Minotaurs were generated at human sacrifice sites and perpetuated themselves due to, you know, already existing at human sacrifice central. Contemporary Minotaurs are generated at the sites of major industrial accidents resulting from negligence, such as the triangle shirtwaist fire, mine collapses, and the Chernobyl meltdown.
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Thinking about Mike dressing like Eddie but not having a crush again. He just thinks Eddie’s so fucking cool
No no, Mike has a crush on Steve. Which he fucking hates by the way. But he also has hearts in his eyes whenever Steve smiles or laughs, because that boy definitely can’t hide it.
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