it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
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trying to update my old outdated toyhouse with all of the important and good espial characters i've made since then is making me realize how little Finished Serious Art i make of my ocs
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Mint-choco macarons for the mint-choco haired boy! 🍃🍫
I actually called him Kiwi-Boy before learning his name but that's just me :9
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psyching myself up to write a 5 page paper on newton today X_X math papers are the hardest
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tbh this was a lot of fun to make
plain text version under the cut
Cursed Doors: Still a menace!!
[drawing of a door with clawed fingertips curled around it] Text beside the image: Where to next? CERTAIN DOOM?
This morning after a terrible nightmare, I woke up to find that my bedroom door led directly into the basement. After a piping hot cup of coffee to invigorate the mind, I realized that this is a phenomenon I've encountered before: cursed doors! Upon asking Stanley, my suspicions were confirmed: this unexplained phenomenon continues to be a thorn in the side of townsfolk and tourists alike. And even less surprisingly, the tourist bureau never responded to the letter I sent them about it. Well, it is time to take matters into my own hands. My next task is to study these nuisances until I find out how to make this ever-present danger a thing of the past.
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