#parsnip cakes

[petermorwood]

As mentioned more than once, @dduane's Middle Kingdoms don't have potatoes. A frequent alternative is parsnips, and the fried cakes in that photo are the result of an experiment done earlier this week to see if parsnips can substitute for potatoes in our always-reliable potato cake recipe.

Yes, they can!

*****

Here's @dduane's recipe.

First peel three regular-sized parsnips. then top and tail them.

Chop them into chunks and boil them in about 2 pints (1 litre) of water.

Drain them and return to the pan: let them steam dry. Then, while still hot, mash them well with a hand masher and allow to cool completely.

As mentioned further down, parsnips retain more water than potatoes even after steam-drying, so DON'T use a food processor or other power appliance for mashing or the result will be parsnip wallpaper paste. However, a processor is ideal for the rest of the recipe.

Put 2 cups (500g) all-purpose flour and ½ tsp salt into the processor bowl, blip the pulse switch to combine them then add 1½ tsp baking powder and blip again.

Now add 3 tablespoons butter and blip the pulse switch until the butter is completely worked in and the whole mixture has a cornmeal-y texture.

Now add the cooled mashed parsnips.

Process with the flour mixture, pulsing at first, then continuously, until the mixture comes together in a dough.

(If yours behaves the way our recipe did, no additional liquid should need to be added. The parsnips hold onto a surprising amount of water even after being steamed dry.)

Flour a work surface, roll the dough out about 1/3 inch (1 cm) thick, and use a sharp biscuit cutter to cut out into rounds. Then heat cooking oil in a frying pan to medium heat and put five or six of the cakes into the hot oil.

Fry until the cakes begin to rise a little (usually 4-5 minutes) and are going golden brown Turn and fry the cakes on their other sides for another 4-5 minutes. Test one for doneness: if necessary, turn the cakes once more and give them another 5 minutes or so.

Then cook the rest of the cakes in the same way. When they're done cooking, drain on paper towels until they're cool. Eat fresh or, to keep them, put them in a biscuit tin or other airtight container.

They'll keep for a few days. The parsnip flavor mellows somewhat the day after you bake them.

Like their potato-cake cousins, they're very good split, toasted, buttered and topped with a slice of cheese or (and) salami. They also shine as an accompaniment to bacon or sausages; give the parsnip cakes a brief re-fry in the fat left from frying these, then serve alongside the fried meats, dressed with a splash of Worcester or HP sauce and maybe a dotting of Tabasco or similar.

Our next experiment will be to make this recipe with the addition of some crumbled crispy bacon, grated cheese, grated onion or a combination of same.

The experiment after that will be to see if this can become parsnip bread in the same way as Irish potato farls. I think it will... :->

[sioltach]

spiced parsnip cake topped with toasted fennel seed caramel frosting

[fattributes]

Spiced Parsnip Cake with Ginger Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

[morethansalad]

Parsnip Tosca Cake (Vegan)

[irlmumrik]

ive been staring at a google doc of dates and numbers for my moomin au for so long I think my eyes have begun to cross. multiple time i've seen "Parsnips Bday!! dec 31st 1961🎊" and been like,, wow,, december thats soon.. motherfucker thats TODAY.. IDIOT!

[coffeemagus]

[clandestinegardenias]

Having friends over for the Super Bowl tomorrow cause why not and the dishes they are bringing include a parsnip cake and a kale/quinoa salad because apparently they have never been to a Super Bowl party in their goddamn LIVES

[postcards-and-postcrossing]

Sunday Stamps: Food

…is the theme for today’s Sunday Stamps Luxembourg – 2015 Pastinaca Sativa (parsnip) Luxembourg – 2015 Beta Vulgaris (beet) Lithuania – 2022 Tree Cake. Cooking Tree cake has been known in European countries since the 15th century. It was baking by monks who kept the recipes for making this delicacy a secret. It is estimated that there are currently around 60 different Tree cakes recipes in the…

[senorboombastic]

a/s/l: CLAMM

Remember the days of the old schoolyard? Remember when Myspace was a thing? Remember those time-wasting, laborious quizzes that everyone used to love so much? Birthday Cake For Breakfast is bringing them back!  Every couple of weeks, an unsuspecting band will be subject to the same old questions about dead bodies, Hitler, crying and crushes.   This Week: Off the back of releasing their new…

[dailyjanellemonae]

Parsnip and Lime Marmalade Cake

[nitedulalaruata]

oKay, so I might be only slightly insane, but there's enough unmedicated ADHD in me to make this a reality. Enjoy?

This is an edit of @hareofhrair's Cake Song video, which was based on a post by @reliqvia. please forgive me for some jankiness in the editing I had so many technical issues and ended up doing this on my laptop with 4GB RAM ._.

More info on how I made this under the cut:

So first of all I grabbed the lyrics from OPs video (slightly altered to fit the actual audio):

Beautiful women will be like "I baked a cake!" And you'll ask "Oh? What flavor is it?" And they'll say, well…

It's a honey lemon fig persimmon orange blossom sponge cake soaked in elder flower mint reduction champagne lipgloss in conjunction with an almond anise chocolate lattice saffron soufflé earl grey syrup balanced by scallions simmered in a coffee carob spear mint julep swiftly snipped and shipped round trip and kissed by only kosher lips and whipped with rich amalfi lemon foraged from the fields of heaven just a hint of limoncello parsnip poppy and tangelo arsenic olive steeped in aloe sous vide in a vegan jack fruit tallow lemon thyme lemon balm matcha wine hearts of palm fetta and nettle petal fresh with a fennel frond beurre blanc and beurre monté served burning on blancmange ensconced in: cream cheese goat cheese blue cheese brie cheese head cheese soil swimmin in a ribbon of my liminally limited extra virgin olive oil

(GET SCONED?)

Whipped chantilly meringue frosting please stop me if this gets exhausting bergamot and apricot and almond anise cardamom And seven swans! A golden ring! Lords are leaping! Here's the thing! It's topped with poppies picked in Oz~* Sugar gauze and puppy paws all sourced sustainably because it was a gift from Santa Claus

I juiced the moon for blue moon goo! And killed a cop for mountain dew! I fucked with space time yeah it's true And found out what those photons do I stole Schrödinger's cat so you could have this cake and eat! it! too!

And you're like Ok. I want to spend the rest of my afternoons walking around inside your beautiful mind like a garden.

Cake break down

Then I broke the lyrics down into the different cake parts, which was difficult as the lack of punctuation allows for multiple different readings on how exactly the ingredients are combined. After a bit of rearranging I ended up with this list and constructed a rough sketch from it (for the final product I again shuffled some of the planned stuff in the picture, but this is the gist):

Some of the ingredients are inedible or have an ambigous meaning (this is complicated by English being my second language and some words can be translated in multiple ways) or are .. uh .. hard to source (side eye to difficult trade relations with Heaven and Oz), so I swapped them out for ingredients that are safe for consumption and available to me.

Recipes

Some things I've made before and already had working recipes for - for most things though I had to look up recipes. I think it goes without saying that I had to alter the recipes HEAVILY, but the base recipes were:

Sponge Cake: https://www.howtocookthat.net/public_html/sponge-cake-recipe/

Soufflé: https://eggs.ca/recipes/basic-souffle/

Mint Julep: https://iba-world.com/iba-cocktail/mint-julep/

Blancmange: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018142-blancmange

Beurre blanc: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/246931/chef-johns-beurre-blanc/

Beurre monté: https://www.americastestkitchen.com/articles/7939-how-to-make-beurre-mont%C3%A9-

Meringue Frosting: https://www.howtocookthat.net/public_html/best-frosting-recipes/

(only used recipes in English for reader's convenience and reader's convenience only)

From the lyrics and the recipes I gathered the strangest (and most expensive) shopping list I ever made.

Figuring out the Fire Situation

As noted in the cake break down, the burning beurre on blancmange would be swimming in olive oil. Which - as I'm sure you can imagine - is not ideal for fire safety. First I thought about separating the blancmange from the oil underneath by some aluminum foil, but there's still the fact that I'd have a burning liquid on the tippy top of a cake. I'm not even sure if the beurre has a high enough percentage of fat to catch flame, but burning butter on a cake decorated with flammable things like fondant, flowers and almond flakes is uh … not great. And I'm not prepared to burn down my kitchen for a shitpost, so kiddie version it is: boring old cake candles far away from flammable stuff but actually they're cool because they glitter

(My kitchen has a fire blanket, just in case anything would go wrong. QUICK PSA: If you don't have some kind of fire safety stuff in your kitchen, please get at least a fire blanket. They're cheap and can save your life (and your kitchen) in case you get flames.)

Preparations

After the planning phase I grabbed the biggest bags I have and went to the biggest store in my area, fingers crossed that I'd be able to get every ingredient on my list.

Well. It's a scroll.

🫠 (honestly my estimate was around 180€, so yay?)

BUt at least I got almost everything!

*cough cough* if you wanna throw a Euro or two at me to help compensate for this grocery bill you can do so via my kofi

Baked the sponge cakes and prepared the "lipgloss", horrible syrup™️, scallions in julep, and blancmange, before calling it a day and falling into bed exhaustedly.

Assembly

Next day I sous vide'd the olive for the "tallow", made the swans and the chantilly and assembled the various remaining parts. Then meringue frosting and decorating, while beurre blanc and buerre monté simmered along. Multitasking babyy!

Then, finally, the cake is done and I can light the candles to bring everything together:

Video

During all of this ordeal I took a bajillion progress shots and some extra photos. I never used a video editor or made an animation in my life before AND MY COMPUTER DECIDED TO RANDOMLY FORCE ME TO RESET IT BECAUSE APPARANTLY MY 15 YEAR OLD PHOTOSHOP VERSION CAUSED IT TO CRASH REALLY BADLY (curse be upon ye, Windows 11 and Adobe!), so my learning curve was steep, but I had the combined power of great stubbornness and multiple energy drinks on my side.

Every picture that is not otherwise credited to someone else was made by me. The background for the "space and time" part is a crochet work I made, following the Arcanoweave pattern by Julia Hart of Draiguna.

The final product took a total of 10 days to make: one for planning, two for shopping and baking and making the damn thing, one for extra shots, and six for editing the video (including two whole days of troubleshooting the tech issue).

Taste Test

Bottom half: Sponge cake and cream were fine (not surprising as those are the most regular cake ingredients in this abomination), but I got a cardamom pod in the same bite, which was not as pleasant. Next bite: the parsnip-poppy-grapefruit jello is a bit unusal but ok. Next bite: jackfruit and olive. I actually spit that one out. Bwah.

Top half: Sponge cake and cream again, fine. Next bite: blancmange - grainy (as detailed below), the milky almond taste is okay, but I think I've overdone it with the cardamom. The beurres were okay with it too (I mean it's just butter, what can go wrong with that?). Next bite: The cheeses were an unexpected savory flavor, but the cream cheese with a bit of blancmange and sponge cake was actually nice (no surprise again, as cream cheese is also a normal cake ingredient).

Decoration: Did not eat the flowers (obviously). Cotton candy and chocolate were tasty (obviously), the apricots were fine I guess? I'm not a big fan of (dried) apricots, so *shrug*

Overall: Some great things in there - but also some truly horrible stuff. Looks very pretty though, 5/10

Detailed version of the individual parts

Honey lemon fig persimmon orange blossom sponge cake

Easy peasy: base recipe for sponge cake, add some honey and lemon peel and figs (and no persimmon as SOMEHOW the store didn't have any? (usually they do), also no orange blossom) to the batter, be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of batter and scramble to find enough cake tins for it all, then have a minor meltdown as you realise mid-baking you've set the oven to the wrong temperature and try to save your 7 eggs worth of cake by encasing it in foil, while cursing heavily because you just burned your arm on the oven door, and be glad that in the end the cakes came out only slightly over- and undercooked simultaneously.

Elder flower mint reduction champagne lipgloss

Uh elder flowers are not available on their own, so elder flower tea it is. Throw in some mint and reduce. Then mix the elder flower mint reduction and champagne (I'm not rich, so sparkling white wine it is) and make lipgloss out of that. Well, edible lipgloss is not a thing (or you know, there are dubious listings on various websites that claim otherwise but usually lipgloss contains stuff you shouldn't ingest in great quantities), but oils are a big part of their base, so we'll just throw in some coconut oil to give it a more creamy consistency.

Almond anise chocolate lattice saffron soufflé earl grey syrup

First I made saffron soufflé (first time I made soufflé and I feel lied to by all the people saying soufflés are hard to make - it was really easy). Then I tempered dark chocolate to make some chocolate lattices (free hand - I had already cleaned so many dirty bowls and tools just to use them again right away, I really was not in the mood to clean more chocolate tools than neccessary). While soufflé and chocolate were cooling, I threw some almonds and anis into a pan to toast. Added some water and an earl grey tea bag and let it steep. Removed the tea bag after a couple of minutes, cut out a cute shape from the soufflé to marry to its chocolate lattice …aaand ruined it immediately by putting it into the horrible abomination in the pan. Stir stir stir and shred in a mixer, strain the mixture through a sieve while trying not to puke from the smell. Reduce this liquid down and add sugar to make the worst sirup in history.

Scallions simmered in a coffee carob spear mint julep

Another easy thing: Pour hot water over some instant coffee and carob powder in a cup. Crush some mint with sugar and a little bit of water, fill with bourbon. Mix both drinks in a pot and add chopped scallions. Let simmer for a couple minutes, done.

(The scallions were super fresh so I assume they were swiftly snipped and shipped round trip. But I don't know anything about kosher etiquette, so I did not kiss the scallions just to be sure)

Whipped with rich amalfi lemon foraged from the fields of heaven

The lyrics say: "… [horrible] syrup, balanced by scallions … whipped with … [lemon]", so I made lemon sirup (from counterfeit lemons as I'm a dirty atheist) and combined those three things into a creamy sauce. (Had to add some whipped cream or it would have been too runny)

Just a hint of limoncello parsnip poppy and tangelo

There's no specific serving form given for those ingredients so I took it to mean those things can be present in any form. I chose to finely chop the parsnip and put it together with poppy seeds into a sheet made of a gelatinized mix of limoncello and grapefruit juice (no tangelo available to me - but it's a hybrid of grapefruit and mandarin orange, so that's close enough).

Arsenic olive steeped in aloe sous vide in vegan jack fruit tallow

Ah, another thing that is not advised for human consumption. Of course I'm talking about the olive (singular?), not arsenic :P (please, this is a joke, DO NOT eat arsenic). Forgot to buy aloe, so I sous vide'd the single (non arsenic) olive. Vegan tallow is an oxymoron - but "vegan [thing]" is often used to describe something made of vegan stuff that has similar properties to [thing], so no problem here. Just puree the jack fruit and place the olive in there.

Can I just say that all the websites that told me "jackfruit has a neutral taste" were lying. Jackfruit is the worst thing I ever smelled and tasted - even worse than the horrible syrup I just made - and while I am open to trying vegan alternatives any day, this can of jackfruit was the only ingredient that I just threw away after making this cake instead of using it up, because ugh. no.

Lemon thyme lemon balm matcha wine hearts of palm Fetta and nettle petal fresh with a fennel frond

Again, no specific form, though they could be served on the blancmange together with the beurres, but there's only so much that I can put onto a fragile pudding shape before it collapses. Better idea: chop what can be chopped and soak in what can soak, then sprinkle in between the cake layers. Substitutions made: Lemon thyme -> regular thyme, lemon balm -> lemon balm tea, matcha -> NOT FOUND, hearts of palm -> NOT FOUND, nettle petal fresh -> nettle petal not fresh (tea)

Beurre blanc and beurre monté served burning on blancmange

As the recipe for beurre blanc states, it can't be reheated so I saved the beurres for assembly day. Blancmange though needs fridge time, so: followed the recipe, got really frustrated with american measuring units (I have a set of measuring cups / spoons, but guys, that's extra stuff I have to CLEAN. Just use a scale, for god's sake), and it turned out grainy because I don't own a cheese cloth but that's fine with me. Beurre blanc and buerre monté were easy enough, just followed the recipe (in american units. hmpf.)

Ensconced in: cream cheese, goat cheese, blue cheese, brie cheese, head cheese, soil

It's just a list of (mostly) cheeses, nothing special here. I made the "soil" out of oreo non-denominational cocoa cookies.

Swimmin in a ribbon of my liminally limited extra virgin olive oil

Just plain old olive oil. It wasn't a limited edition, which makes it liminally limited indeed.

Whipped chantilly meringue frosting

Decided that this meant that both chantilly and meringue were used (not a combination of both). So whipped chantilly (which is just cream with sugar, but I added a stabilizer to make it more - well - stable as it is a load bearing part of the cake) for the inside, and meringue frosting for the outside it is. Number of times I made sirup in the past two days: 3 - new personal record.

Bergamot and apricot and almond anise cardamom

Another case of no specified serving form, but it comes after the frosting, so I assume these are toppings. Bergamot orange was not available, and I learned only after the fact that apparently in France (?) this can also refer to limes (?), but I did find some bergamot lemonade. Soaked the apricots in it before they went onto the cake, and sprinkled some almond flakes and the spices onto it too.

And seven swans!

Yay some sculpting! Swans are easy to make out of fondant: Just roll a ball, then squish it into a somewhat elongated scallot form with a point to form the tail. Make a snake and place it at the dull end of your scallot, then bend it into the typical swan neck pose. Now squish the end of the head to form its beak. Some food coloring for the eyes and beak and we're done! For assembly purposes I staked them - otherwise the moisture from the blancmange would dissolve the fondant.

Can you tell I did not look up how exactly swans look like before making these? Eh, geese should be fine for this cake, too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A golden ring!

Those come premade:

It's topped with poppies picked in Oz

I really tried to find poppies, but somehow you can't buy them anywhere?? Even though they are pretty flowers? After store number three I gave up looking and just bought a plant that had the most similar flowers. Obviously this means that they are not from Oz either… (I lied to you in the video- shame on me)

(also: I'm living in a city. If I had been visiting my parents' house in the countryside, I'd have plenty of wild poppies, but alas… (not driving 2h just for accurate cake decoration))

Sugar gauze and puppy paws

Sugar gauze? Not quite sure what that is, but I figured that cotton candy would be close enough? And while "puppy paws" is not a name for cookies, Bärentatzen or Katzenpfoten ("bear paws" or "cat paws") are a thing here. Unfortunately the store didn't have any (outrageous, I know), so I opted for Katzenzungen ("cat tongues") instead (no way I'd do more baking for this thing). Cat tongues are close enough to puppy paws, right?

Blue moon goo

Next blue moon is still far away, so I just used "blue" as a color descriptor for the goo - blue curaçao is the obvious choice here.

Mountain dew

While mountain dew is available here I didn't find it at the store, so for the visual I used some green Fanta. (I thiiink I tried mountain dew once and didn't like it anyway, so it was better that way)

Schrödinger's cat

Guest appearance: My precious kitty baby meow meow (she's 19)

Outtakes

My fridge has never been this full, let alone so full with useless items:

Almost everything in this picture went into the cake.

And kitty apparently wanted in on the space time fuck:

There was like one (1) frame in a whole two minute video that I could use, the rest was just kitty taking the spotlight.

[dazedblackwolf]

Hey pack!

For wolf-inspired recipes, I’ve got you covered with plant-based options that could resemble a wild wolf’s diet. Think earthy, rustic, and primal vibes :

⚠️THIS IS A VEGAN VERSION. IM ALSO POSTING A NONVEGAN VERSION !!⚠️

### Wolf-Inspired Vegan Recipes

1. **Foraged Mushroom and Herb Soup**

- A mix of wild mushrooms, garlic, onions, fresh thyme, and rosemary, simmered in vegetable broth.

- Serve with rustic whole-grain bread.

2. **"Raw" Root Vegetable Salad**

- Shredded beets, carrots, and parsnips with a tangy citrus vinaigrette.

- Add sunflower seeds for crunch.

3. **Hearty Lentil and Kale Stew**

- Cook lentils with diced tomatoes, celery, carrots, and dark leafy greens.

- Season with cumin and smoked paprika.

4. **Berry and Nut Bowl**

- A mix of blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries, topped with walnuts or pecans.

- Add a drizzle of maple syrup for sweetness.

5. **Seaweed and Chickpea "Salmon" Cakes**

- Combine mashed chickpeas, nori flakes, and dill, then pan-fry into patties.

- Serve with a lemon-dill cashew cream.

6. **Rustic Grain and Veggie Bake**

- Cook wild rice or barley and mix with sautéed mushrooms, leeks, and chopped walnuts.

- Bake with a light sprinkle of nutritional yeast.

7. **Roasted Vegetables with Juniper and Sage**

- Toss root veggies like potatoes, carrots, and parsnips with juniper berries, sage, and olive oil, then roast.

8. **Herb-Crusted Tempeh "Steak"**

- Marinate tempeh in tamari, garlic, and rosemary, then sear it in a pan.

- Pair with mashed sweet potatoes.

9. **"Wolf Howl" Smoothie**

- Blend blackberries, spinach, almond milk, and a touch of cacao powder.

- Top with chia seeds.

10. **Nut Butter and Seed Bark**

- Mix melted dark chocolate with almond butter, pumpkin seeds, and dried cranberries.

- Chill and break into pieces.

[somethingclevermahogony]

A Recipe for Daropaka and a Korithian Meal

Hello everyone! (More than) A few days ago I said that, as a way to celebrate reaching 200 followers that I would make one of the dishes from the setting of my WIP. I did something similar for 100 followers which you can see here. This time around I put up a poll to see what dish you all would like to see based on the favorite dishes of my OCs. You voted for Otilia's favorite food, a cheesecake (Daropaka) from the land of Korithia.

However because I felt a bit bad about how long it took me to get to this and because I needed to make something for dinner anyway, I prepared an entire Korithian meal, specifically the last dinner Otilia ate before she left her homeland.

I will give a short description and some history for each component of the meal and will also provide recipes. These recipes come specifically from the Korithian city-state of Kalmanati.

BIG POST ALERT

The diet of Korithians is highly reliant on cereals, grapes, and olives. Barley is the most commonly consumed cereal and is used in the bread of most commoners. However, Kalmanati is famed for the quality of its wheat, and particularly among the wealthy, wheat is the cereal grain of choice. Legumes (Lentils, peas, vetch, beans, etc), vegetables (Cabbage, carrots, lettuce, seaweeds, artichokes, asparagus, onions, garlic, cucumber, beets, parsnips, etc.) and fruits/nuts (pomegranate, almond, fig, pear, plum, apple, dates, chestnuts, beechnuts, walnuts, rilogabo(Kishite regalu "Sunfruit"), bokigabo (Kishite botagalu "Northern fruit), etc.) also make up a significant portion of the Korithian diet, with meat (Cattle, lamb, pig, goat, goose, duck, horned-rabbit, game) and fish typically filling a relatively minor role except for in the diets of wealthy individuals (like Otilia).

Vinegar, oil, and garlic appear in almost all Korithian dishes and are an essential aspect of the Korithian palate.

Recipes below the cut!

The components of the meal are as follows:

Daropaka: (Korithian: Daro = cheese, paka = cake)

Karunbarono: (Korithian: Karun = meat, baro = fire (barono = roasted) )

Pasrosi Diki: (Korithian: Pasrosi = fish(es), Diki = small)

Psampisa : (Korithian: Psamsa = bread, episa = flat)

Akuraros : (Korithian: Akuraros = cucumber)

Ewisasi : (Korithian: Ewisasi = olives)

Funemikiwados: (Korithian: Funemiki = hill (mountain diminutive), wados = oil/sauce)

Wumos: (Korithian: Wumos = wine)

Daropaka aka Awaxpaka aka Korithian Cheesecake

Daropaka is a popular dessert in Korithia, however its origins predate Korithia by several thousand years.

The dish originates from a race of forestfolk living on the Minosa, known as the Awaxi. The Awaxi were a tall and powerful race, some rivaling even demigods in size. Aside from their size the Awaxi were also easily identifiable by the third eye which sat on their forehead and the porcupine like quills which grew from their shoulders, sometimes called the Awaxi mantle.

The Awaxi were a primarily pastoralist civilization, living in small semi-temporary communities where they raised cattle and goats. They are credited with inventing cheese.

The first humans that the Awaxi came into contact with were the Arkodians. The Arkodians introduced the Awaxi to metallurgy, and in exchange the Arkodians were given knowledge of the cheesemaking process. This early form of cheese was called darawa (Korithian: Daro) and was typically made from cow's milk and vinegar, the resulting cheese being soft and crumbly, similar to a ricotta.

Unfortunately peace would not last. The Awaxi settled disagreements and debates often through duels, rather than through war. While quite skilled duelists, their culture had no reference for strategy in battle and lacked the proper skills to fend off the organized assault from imperialistic Arkodians. The Awaxi were eventually driven to extinction, though they still appear as monsters in Korithian myth.

The Arkodians themselves would later fall, destroyed by the Kishites, however many of their recipes, including their recipe for cheesecake, would be passed down to their descendants, the Korithians.

Recipe

(Note that Korithia has no distinct set of measurements nor are recipes recorded. Recipes are typically passed down orally and differ greatly between regions and even families. Adjust ingredients to one's own liking) (Also note that this is not like a modern cheesecake, as it utilizes a ricotta like cheese the texture will not be as smooth and it doesn't use eggs as chickens have not yet been introduced to Korithia)

The Cheese

1/2 Gallon of Whole Cow or Goats Milk

1 Pinch of Sea Salt

2 Bay leaves

2 Tablespoons of White Vinegar

1 Large Ripe Pear

6 Tablespoons Honey

2 Tablespoons White Wheat Flour

1 Tablespoon Rilogabo Juice (substitute 1:1 Orange and Lemon juice)

The Crust

1 Cup White Wheat flour

Water, Warm

1 Pinch of Sea salt

The Topping

1 Sprig Rosemary

3 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoon rilogabo juice (see above)

1 Large pear (optional)

Fill a pot with milk. Stir in salt and add bay leaves. Heat over medium heat until milk registers around 190 F, do not allow to boil. Look for slight foaming on the surface, when the temperature has been reached, remove the bay leaves and add vinegar, the curds will begin to form immediately, stir to fully incorporate vinegar without breaking curds. Stop.

Take the pot off of the heat and cover, allow it to sit for 15 minutes.

Using cheesecloth, a fine mesh strainer or both, separate the curds from the whey. Allow the curds to cool and drain off excess liquid.

Preheat the oven to 410 F or 210 C. Grease the bottom and sides of an 8 inch cake pan with olive oil.

While cheese is draining, make the crust. Knead the white wheat flour with a pinch of salt and warm water for about 15-20 minutes, until obtaining a smooth consistency. Roll a thin circular sheet larger than the cake pan. Lay the dough inside, trim off any dough which hangs over the edge of the pan.

Skin and seed 1 large pear, using either a mortar and pestle or a food processor, break the pear down into a paste or puree, there should be no large visible chunks.

Combine drained cheese, 6 tbsp honey, pear puree, flour, and rilogabo juice. Using a food processor or other implement combine ingredients until a smooth texture is achieved. Taste and add honey accordingly

Pour the mixture into the pan, careful not to exceed the height of the crust. Top with a sprig of rosemary and place into the oven.

Cook for 25-30 minutes or until the filling has set and the surface is golden.

Make the topping by combining 3 tablespoons of honey and the remaining rilogabo juice.

Remove cake from the oven and pour the topping over the surface. Allow the cake to cool

Serve warm, cold, or room temperature with fresh fruit.

Karunbarono aka Roasted Meat

Cooking meat on skewers is a staple of Korithian cuisine, so much so that in certain regions the metal skewers or kartorosi, can be used as a form of currency. Meat is typically cooked over an open fire or on portable terracotta grills, though it is not unheard of to use a large beehive shaped oven or baros. The majority of the meat eaten by the lower classes comes in the form of small game such as rabbit or sausages made from the scraps of pork, beef, mutton, poultry, and even seafood left after the processing of more high-class cuts. The chicken has not yet been properly introduced to the islands, though some descendants of pre-Calamity chickens do exist, though they in most cases have drastically changed because of wild magic. Animals are rarely eaten young, lambs for example are almost never eaten as their potential for producing wool is too valuable. Most animals are allowed to age well past adulthood, except for in special circumstances. The practice of cooking meat in this style is prehistoric stretching back far before Korithia or Arkodai. What is newer however is the practice or marinading the meat before cooking it, this is a Korithian and later Kishite innovation.

Recipe

1 lb Mutton (meat used in this recipe), beef, lamb, venison, or horned-rabbit meat (in order to achieve this it is suggested to use wild hare meat in combination with pork fatback) chopped into bite sized pieces

4 Tablespoons Plain Greek Yogurt

4 Tablespoons Dry Red wine (Any dry red will work, for this recipe I used a Montepulciano d'abruzzo but an Agiorgitiko would work perfectly for this)

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

4 Cloves of Garlic roughly chopped

1 Small onion roughly chopped

1 sprig fresh thyme

1 sprig fresh rosemary

1 tsp sea salt

1 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cumin

Gather and measure ingredients

Combine everything into a large bowl and stir, making sure that all pieces of meat are covered in the marinade.

Cover and allow meat to sit, preferably in the fridge for 2 hours or up to overnight.

Well the meat is marinating, if using wooden or bamboo skewers, soak in water for at least one hour to prevent burning.

Preheat the oven to 400 F or roughly 205 C. Or if cooking an open fire, allow an even coal bed to form.

Remove meat from the fridge, clean off excess marinade including any chunks of garlic or onion

Place meat tightly onto the skewers making sure that each piece is secure and will not fall off.

Brush each skewer with olive oil and additional salt and pepper to taste, optionally add a drizzle of red wine vinegar.

Place on a grate either in the oven with a pan below it to catch drippings or else over the fire. Allow to cook for 10-20 minutes depending on how well you want your meat cooked (less if using an open fire) Check every five minutes, flipping the meat after each check.

Remove from the oven and serve immediately.

Pasrosi Diki aka Little Fishes

Despite living by the sea, fish makes up a surprisingly small part of most Korithians' diet. The most valuable fish typically live far away from shore, where storms and sea monsters are a serious threat to ships. Much of the fish that is eaten are from smaller shallow water species, freshwater species, or shellfish. Tuna, swordfish, sturgeon, and ray are considered delicacies, typically reserved for the wealthy. Marine mammals such as porpoise are eaten on rare occasions, typically for ceremonial events. Pike, catfish, eel, sprats, sardines, mullet, squid, octopus, oysters, clams, and crabs are all consumed by the poorer classes. Sprats and sardines are by far the most well represented fish in the Korithian diet, typically fried or salted, or even ground and used in sauces. This particular recipe makes use of sprats. Unlike their neighbors in Baalkes and Ikopesh, Korithians rarely eat their fish raw with the exception of oysters.

Recipe

(Note that unlike modern recipes using whitebait, these are not breaded or battered as this particular cooking art has not yet been adopted in Korithia, though it is in its infancy in parts of Kishetal)

10-15 Sprats (other small fish or "whitebait" can also be used)

2 quarts of olive oil (not extra virgin)

Sea salt to taste

Black Pepper to Taste

Red Wine Vinegar to taste

Gather ingredients

Inspect fish, look for fish with clear eyes and with an inoffensive smell, avoid overly smelly or damaged fish.

Pour olive oil into a cast iron skillet or other high sided cooking vessel and heat to approximately 350 F or 177 C.

Fry the fish in batches of 5, stirring regularly to keep them from sticking. Cook for 2-4 minutes until the fish have started to crisp. Be careful, some fish may pop and spit.

Remove fish from the oil and allow them to drain.

Season fish with salt, pepper, and vinegar and serve.

Psampisa aka Flatbread

There are many varieties of bread eaten in Korithia and grain products make up anywhere from 50 to 80 percent of an average individuals diet. This particular variety of bread is most popular in the southern and eastern portions of Korithia, whereas a fluffier yeasted loaves are more commonly eaten in the west and north. This recipe is specifically made with wheat but similar breads can also be made with barley or with mixtures. If you do not want to make this bread yourself it can be substituted with most pita breads. Bread is served with every meal and some meals may feature multiple varieties of bread.

(Note for this recipe I only had self-raising flour at hand which gives a slightly puffier bread, if this is what you want add roughly 3 tsps baking powder)

Recipe

2 1/2 cups white wheat flour plus more for surface

1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt

1 cup whole fat greek yogurt

Olive oil for cooking

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, salt and baking powder. Add the yogurt and combine using a wooden spoon or hands until well incorporated

Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead by hand for 5 minutes until the dough feels smooth.

Cover the dough and allow to sit for approximately 20 minutes

Separate dough into desired number of flatbreads.

Add flour to each dough ball with your hands and then use a rolling pin to flatten out the dough on a lightly floured surface. Size is up to taste.

Heat a pan on medium high heat. Add the olive oil and cook the flatbreads one at a time for about 2-4 minutes, depending on thickness, per side until the bread is puffed and parts of it has become golden brown.

Akuraros aka Cucumber (Salad)

While the cucumber has become a relatively popular crop within Korithian agriculture it is not native and was all but unknown to their Arkodian predecessors. Cucumbers, which actually originated in Sinria and Ukar, were introduced by Kishite invaders during the Arko-Kishite war and were subsequently adopted by the survivors of that conflict. Cucumbers are associated with health and in particular with fertility. Cucumbers are typically eaten raw or pickled. They may be used in salads or even in drinks, ground into medicinal juices. Cucumbers are additionally believed to ward off disease carrying spirits and may be hung outside of the doors of sick individuals to ward off evil entities. Cucumbers are also fed to learning sages, as they are believed to strengthen the resolve and spirit. A potion consisting of the magical herbs wumopalo and lisapalo, wine, and cucumber juice has historically been used to temporarily induce in non-sages the ability to see spirits. Dill is additionally believed to produce positive effects, thought to ward of diseases of the stomach and cancers. Dill is often used in potions which may effect the physical nature of an individual, these potions are rarely used as their effects are most often permanent to some extent.

This particular cucumber salad recipe is a favorite in the region around Kalmanati, Bokith.

Recipe

1 large cucumber cleaned

2 cloves garlic roughly chopped

2 tablespoons fresh dill chopped

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

Salt to taste

Pepper to taste

Cumin to taste

Cut cucumber into thin slices (the actual width will vary dependent on taste)

Combine cucumber and all other ingredients in a non-reactive container and mix.

Cover and store the salad for at least 30 minutes and up to 12 hours.

Serve cold

Ewisasi aka Olives

The Ewasi or olive is in many ways the center of Korithian cuisine, as it is also in Baalkes and Knosh. Olive oil is used regularly and the olive fruit is consumed at all meals of the day including dessert. Olives are cured via the use of water, vinegar, brines, or dry salt in order to remove their innate bitterness. There are hundreds of varieties of olive in Korithia alone, their taste dependent on when they are harvested, how they are cured, the particular cultivar, and even the soil in which they are grown. Kalmanati is best known for two varities of olive, the kalmi, which is red fleshed and meaty, typically cured in red wine vinegar, and the prasiki, a small green olive which is firm and slightly nutty in flavor.

Recipe

Take your favorite olives, put them in a bowl. Optionally add vinegar and herbs

Funemikiwados aka Hill Sauce

Hill sauce is the condiment of choice for most Korithian households and the exact nature of the sauce will vary greatly from region to region. In the north it is most often composed of pine nuts, olive oil, onion, vinegar, salt, and garlic. In the south the sauce is typically far more marine in nature, composed of seaweed, fish, garlic, olive oil, and vinegar. In all cases the ingredients are combined and mashed or ground to produce a pourable/dipable sauce. The sauce itself originates from the center of Korithia around the city of Bokakolis. The sauce was originally used by shepherds to flavor dried meats which may otherwise be dry or flavorless. Its name derives from the ingredients used within these early versions of the sauce, many of which were herbs plucked from the hillside while the shepherds tended to their flocks. The Kalmanatian version of the sauce is similar to this original herb based variety however it adds salt-cured fish and tisparos (Tisi - tickle, paros- seed) , another Kishite import (there it is called lisiki). This sauce is often used with practically any savory food, poured on meat, fish, vegetables, and bread. Often a house may be judged by the quality of their funemikiwados. Among the Kalmanatians there is two varieties of the sauce, a fresh version (the one described here) and another which is typically made with dried herbs and has additional vinegar added to act as a sort of preservative.

Recipe

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

2 tbsps rilogabo juice (1:1 orange and lemon)

2 anchovies (or other small salt-cured fish)

1/4 cup fresh chopped dill

1/6 cup fresh chopped parsley

1/8 cup fresh chopped thyme

6-10 leaves of fresh chopped rosemary

2-3 leaves fresh basil

2 cloves of garlic

Black pepper to taste

Ground tisparos to taste (Substitue ground sichuan pepper)

Gather the ingredients.

Combine and grind anchovies, garlic, and herbs into a fine paste, using a mortar and pestle or with a food processor.

Combine the herb paste ialong with the rest of the other ingredients and mix until completely incorporated.

Allow to sit at least 30 minutes, allowing for flavors to develop and properly incorporate with each other.

Serve with meat or fish

Wumos aka Wine

Wine in Korithia predates both the Korithians and the Arkodians, and had already been developed by several cultures on the islands including the Awaxi mentioned earlier. Wine is one of the most commonly consumed beverages, only surpassed by water, and slightly more common than psamarla, a Korithian version of unfiltered beer. Wine has many social, religious, and economic uses and is essential in the trade of the plantbrew, making up the base of many kinds of potion. There are many varieties of wine, with some being viewed as better or worse than others. Red wine is typically preferred for later in the day as it is believed that it helps to induce sleep while white wine is preferred for the morning and afternoon. Wine is typically watered down at a ratio of 2 parts water to 1 part wine, this may be either with plain or salted water. Unwatered wine is saved for special occasions and certain religious ceremonies in which intoxication is the goal. Wine may be sweetened with honey, figs, or various fruit juices. Herbs and spices such as black pepper, tisparos, coriander, saffron, thyme, and even cannabis and opium and various magical herbs may be added to change the flavor of the wine and to promote other effects.

Recipe

Pick a wine that you like and put it in a glass or cup. You can water it down if you would like but I didn't because I am not Korithian and this was a special occasion.

I finally got this post done! If you decided to read through this whole thing, thank you! Let me know if you try any of these, most of these amounts are ultimately a matter of taste, you can change things and experiment if you want.

Now we'll see if I get to 300 followers and we'll do this all over again with the food from another part of the Green Sea.

Thank you all again for following me, I've really enjoyed sharing my WIP with y'all!

@patternwelded-quill , @skyderman , @flaneurarbiter , @jclibanwrites , @alnaperera, @rhokisb, @blackblooms , @lord-nichron , @kosmic-kore , @friendlyshaped , @axl-ul , @talesfromtheunknowable , @wylanzahn , @dyrewrites , @foragedbonesblog , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @mk-writes-stuff , @roach-pizza

[gowerhardcastle]

Spinning off from Wodehouse's characters

When I started writing Tally Ho, the first characters I designed (and, in fact, the first characters you meet) are very clearly versions of Wodehouse's characters, instantly recognizable. Rory is my version Bertie Wooster; the main character servant is our Jeeves, Aunt Primrose is mostly Aunt Dahlia, and Figs is a Gussie-type. Frankincense is some sort of Madeline Basset stand-in.

But to me, the fun part of writing these games, and where it got even more fun in Jolly Good is spinning off from Wodehouse's world and seeing how far I could bend his world--sometimes to the point of breaking--and still have it be recognizable. Clearly the moment I introduce Haze, that's happening.

The female version of Haze is introduced like this:

...an extraordinary-looking woman in her twenties with long black hair, dyed purple at the ends. You halt in the middle of taking your seat as you notice this strangely coiffed woman, who, you now see upon closer inspection, has several ear piercings. As she looks around the carriage to see who is entering, her hair moves, revealing a small tattoo of an autumn leaf behind her ear.

That was my announcement that this was not just going to be a pastiche, or, as my favorite Steam review says, "tryhard Wodehouse fanfiction." I mean, it's that too! But also something else, I hoped. And as I added in characters who were at first recognizable Wodehouse tropes, like Parsnip (the awful hellion child) and Pilcrow (the model servant) and Mopsie (the fiesty ingenue) but then did...or could...transform into something deeper, that was even more interesting to me.

Because this being interactive fiction, I was able to have the Wodehouse cake and also eat it by giving the player the opportunity to poke at the two dimensional comedy and see what they look like if you deepen them.

I mean, on the face of it, Vyv mean seem like a silly punch line of a character--a law student who actually wants to be an artist. I can imagine that character in a Wodehouse story. But interactive fiction gives me the chance to take that comic idea and see if it can look like something a little tragic, or romantic, or meaningful because I can show the player the character from so many different angles and so many different situations.

So Wodehouse is a great starting place, obviously, and I owe him so much. I love him. I've read almost everything he wrote. But at the same time, I think and hope what I'm doing is seeing what his pastoral comic world looks like if you nudge it into other genres, if it becomes something you can interact with and live in, and if you put a character in it (you) with lots and lots of autonomy.

I've written a little thing about something I call ambiguous stats in interactive fiction. It's here. It is free--one must simply become a free member!

I've also written up a long thing about Starling, the fifth and final romantic character in my game, and how I was persuaded to make this character into a love interest. It's here. (This one is not free, but part of my robust series of game design essays here.)

[riddlesnap]

Italicize what your muse likes. Bold what they love. Strikethru what they hate. Feel free to edit/add more options if relevant to your muse!

REPOST DON’T REBLOG

Taste Preferences

Sweet | Salty | Bitter | Savory | Sour | Spicy | Umami

Meat, Fish and Dairy

Bacon | Beef | Blood | Butter | Caviar | Cheese | Chicken | Clam | Crab | Cream | Duck | Eel | Eggs | Elk | Escargot | Frog | Game | Goose | Heart | Herring | Honey | Kidney | Lamb | Liver | Lobster | Meatballs | Meatloaf | Milk | Mussels | Octopus | Oily Fish | Oysters | Pork | Rabbit | Roe | Salmon | Sausage | Scallops | Sea Urchin | Shrimp | Squid | Tilapia | Trout | Tuna | Turkey | Venison | White Fish | Yoghurt

Fruit

Apple | Apricot | Avocado | Banana | Blackberry | Blackcurrent | Blueberry | Cantaloupe | Cherry | Coconut | Cranberry | Dates | Dragonfruit | Fig | Grape | Grapefruit | Kiwi | Lemon | Lime | Lychee | Mango | Melon | Orange | Papaya | Passionfruit | Pomegranate | Peach | Pear | Pineapple | Plum | Prune | Raisin | Raspberry | Starfruit | Strawberry | Watermelon

Vegetables, Spices and Grains

Arugula | Beans | Beetroot | Bell Pepper | Bok Choy | Broccoli | Cabbage | Carrot | Cauiliflower | Celery | Chilli Peppers | Cilantro | Cinnamon | Corn | Cucumber | Garlic | Ginger | Eggplant | Green Beans | Jalapeños | Kale | Lentils | Lettuce | Mint | Mushrooms | Mustard | Olives | Onions | Orzo | Paprika | Parsnip | Peas | Potatoes | Pumpkin | Radish | Rice | Spices | Soya | Spinach | Sprouts | Tofu | Tomato | Vanilla | Wheat | Zucchini

Drinks and Snacks

Ale | Bagels | Beer | Biscuits | Bread | Burger | Cake | Candy | Cereal | Chewing Gum | Chicken Nuggets | Chocolate | Chips | Coffee | Cola | Condiments | Cookies | Crackers | Curry | Dried Fruits | Fried Chicken | Fries | Granola | Gummis | Hot Chocolate | Hot Dog | Ice Cream | Jelly | Jerky | Juice | Kimchi | Mac n' Cheese | Marshmallows | Milkshake | Muffins | Nutella | Nuts | Pancakes | Pasta | Pastries | Peanuts | Peanut Butter | Pickles | Pie | Popcorn | Pretzels | Noodles | Oatmeal | Ramen | Rice Cakes | Rock Candy | Salted Caramel | Sandwich | Seeds | Soda | Spaghetti | Spirits | Sushi | Tea | Toast | Trail Mix | Water | Wine

Styles

Baking | Broiling | Casseroles | Frying | Grilling | Pickled | Raw | Roasts | Salads | Soups | Steaming | Stew | Stir Fry | Smoked

[myheadsgonenumb]

OK - so as part of my ongoing series of tips to help Harry Potter authors who aren't British write Hogwarts authentically, I posted about food and mealtimes yesterday.

(here)

And I said I would do a post dedicated just to Christmas Dinner and its traditions (an important part of any Hogwarts fic!), so that's what I'm going to talk about today.

First up, I'm sure most people do know thanks to the ubiquity of Anglosphere Christmas movies (not least A Christmas Carol) but - unlike some other European countries where the main gift giving and celebration happen at different times over the 12 days - the UK celebrates on the 25th itself. Therefore whenever Harry is opening his presents or eating Christmas Dinner (or attending the Yule Ball), this is always the 25th December.

So, back to the actual topic -

Despite being called Christmas Dinner this is the meal that Harry eats in the middle of the day, so it is in fact his Christmas lunch. I assume it is called "Dinner" because it is the cooked, main meal of the day (I will talk about Christmas tea later).

Main course

First up - the traditional meat eaten at Christmas in the UK is turkey (if you go way back, it would be goose, but turkey has been in the ascendancy for a good few centuries now). Not everyone has turkey, but turkeys and Christmas are intrinsically linked in the UK to the extent that there is a phrase "it's like turkeys voting for Christmas" when talking about someone choosing to do something that is so clearly against their best interests. Hogwarts always serves turkeys at Christmas, in the books.

Turkey is roasted, and served with "all the trimmings" - which means gravy (made from the turkey stock), stuffing, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, vegetables and pigs in blankets.

The vegetable most commonly associated with Christmas is brussel sprouts, but parsnips are also popular. There aren't really hard and fast rules on veg, people will serve the ones they like the best, but sprouts are non -negotiable.

It is sort of a joke in Britain that this is the most important meal of the year, it's the one that takes the longest to cook and no one really likes it. (But that's because they are overcooking their turkeys and are wrong about sprouts - it is my absolute favourite meal in the world).

Roast beef is considered the national dish of England, and roast beef and all the trimmings is commonly made and eaten every Sunday (or you go to a pub and have it). If you hear Brits talking about "Sunday lunch" this is what they are referring to (roast beef comes with yorkshire puddings, and often cauliflower cheese, and doesn't include sprouts or pigs in blankets). As this is such a commonly eaten dish, the turkey at Christmas is something different - and made special because it is eaten so rarely. Turkey is only eaten at Christmas by many people and it is hard (if not impossible) to get hold of them in supermarkets at other times of the year.

Pudding

As I said in my post yesterday, "pudding" is a catch all term for dessert, but does also have its own specific meaning of something that has been cooked by steaming or boiling inside a cloth. "Christmas Pudding" fits the definition of both:

Christmas Pudding is a very dense dried fruit sponge cake, that has been steamed rather than baked (and so is nothing like a cake to eat). Traditionally it is doused in brandy and set on fire before serving:

I think it's one of those things that you have to have grown up eating to appreciate.

As it is very dry by itself, most people serve it with either brandy butter or pouring cream.

It's also traditional to add little trinkets to the pudding mix before cooking. These end up in individual servings and have meanings. So a silver coin means wealth for the person who finds it, a wishbone means good luck and a thimble means thrift.

In The Philosopher's Stone "Flaming Christmas puddings followed the turkey. Percy nearly broke his teeth on a silver Sickle embedded in his slice." And this tradition is why.

(NB this is British Tradition and Hogwarts is big on that. My family gets our Christmas puddings ready made from the supermarket and microwaves them. The little plastic bowls they come in recently proved very useful for catching the water leaking from my boiler - Tradition and every day life can look very different).

Entertainment

Along with the hilarity of watching people break their teeth on coins and choke on thimbles, the Christmas Cracker is also a staple of Christmas Dinner.

These are Christmas Crackers. Two people take hold of each end and pull, until the cracker is ripped apart (there is a strip of card inside, dipped in silver fulminate, which explodes with the friction and this causes the bang which gives crackers their name).

Inside a cracker there are an assortment of little prizes, and the person who ends up with the bigger half gets to keep them.

The Philosopher's Stone says this about crackers:

"These fantastic party favours were nothing like the feeble Muggle ones the Dursleys usually bought, with their little plastic toys and their flimsy paper hats inside. Harry pulled a wizard cracker with Fred and it didn’t just bang, it went off with a blast like a cannon and engulfed them all in a cloud of blue smoke, while from the inside exploded a rear admiral’s hat and several live, white mice. Up at the High Table, Dumbledore had swapped his pointed wizard’s hat for a flowered bonnet, and was chuckling merrily at a joke Professor Flitwick had just read him."

Real (muggle) crackers always come with a silly joke to read out (which is intentionally bad), a small, plastic gift - a little yoyo, those fortune telling fish, a key ring, a wind up toy etc - and a paper crown

Christmas Dinner (and much of the afternoon) is spent wearing these crowns.

However, magical crackers are much more impressive and - as the quote shows - come with actual (novelty) hats and better gifts. The explosion is more impressive as well.

Christmas Tea

As I said in my post yesterday, "tea" can refer to the evening meal and have nothing to do with the hot drink everyone associates with the British. And this is the case with Christmas tea.

As the main meal was earlier in the day, and so heavy, Christmas tea tends to be served quite late and is less formal, and much lighter. Sometimes it can be a spread of finger foods (dips, cheeses, tempura prawns etc) but Harry Potter keeps things simple and just goes with turkey sandwiches (which are self explanatory).

As its Christmas, there is still a ridiculous amount of pudding to eat (this time in the catch all dessert sense) and this includes Christmas cake - which (like Christmas pudding) is a fruit cake - only this time it has been baked, rather than steamed.

Christmas Cakes are actually baked around October time, and regularly fed with brandy (has holes poked into it and the brandy poured inside) until the day itself.

Christmas cakes are usually covered in marzipan and then covered in Royal Icing (Royal Icing won't stick to the cake itself, so the marzipan acts as a glue). The end result is something like this:

Mince Pies are also a classic Christmas treat. These are usually individual pies, which can be eaten in a couple of bites, and are sweet mincemeat wrapped in pastry. THERE IS NO ACTUAL MEAT IN SWEET MINCEMEAT!! Mince Pies are 100% all dessert.

Sweet mincemeet is a spiced preserve made up of dried fruit and candied fruit.

(If you're thinking there's a lot of dried fruit involved in a British Christmas - yes there is, because winter is a tough time to grow things and the only fruit around (traditionally) was anything that had been dried out and preserved back in the summer.)

Mince pies can either be eaten as they are or served warm with brandy butter or pouring cream.

Finally there is trifle - which is sponge, jelly (jello for Americans), custard, fruit (not dried this time), cream and sherry:

After all this has been eaten, it is time to fall into a food induced coma and swear to never eat again... Until the next day. December 26th is called "Boxing Day" and is a national holiday in the UK - and the party, and the eating, continues.

I hope this helps anyone trying to write a Hogwarts Christmas chapter and fills in some blanks for various passages in the books which must be frankly baffling without context.

As ever, if you have any specific questions please ask in the comments!