#part two will be here tomorrow and involve coran!!

[autisticlancemcclain]

“Keith?”

Keith hums. “Yeah, Lance?”

Lance doesn’t answer right away. Keith can hear his breathing, quicker than everyone else’s, if only slightly. After all they’re the only ones awake. Everyone else is conked right out, curled up around the low-burning embers of their campfire. He’s quiet long enough that Keith is half-convinced that he isn’t actually awake, and only called out for Keith in his sleep.

(Keith couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face if he tried. He doesn’t try, though. The idea of Lance dreaming about him is a nice one.)

There’s a sharp intake of breath from beside him, confirming Lance is not asleep, then a beat of hesitation.

“Do you ever wonder what happens when we die?”

Keith blinks. He opens his mouth to answer, but stops himself. He looks up at the unfamiliar stars, tracing random constellations. There’s a sword, where Orion usually is during Earth summers. And a lick of flame, replacing the Big Dipper.

The brightest star in the sky shines red.

“No,” Keith says softly. “It’s — dangerous. Letting myself think about that. We’re too close, you know? I don’t want my last thought to be panicking about what’s to come. I want it to be — not that. I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

Keith waits for Lance to offer an explanation, a reason for his curiosity, or even a subject change. When nothing comes Keith shifts, propping himself up on his elbow and glancing over at the red paladin.

“Why do you ask? Just curious?”

It’s a long time, again, until Lance answers, but this time Keith knows he’s not asleep. He’s tense, lying ramrod straight, head centred on his pillow and arms hooked over his blanket. His brown eyes — almost black in the dark night — stare straight up, but there’s something off about his expression, something fixed and plastic.

“I was surprised, is all. It was — nothing like I expected.”

It takes a moment for Keith to process what Lance said. He almost wishes he hadn’t, when it finally clicks. Never in his life has cold dread seeped through his bones so quickly.

“…What?” He can barely hear his own voice. He can’t at all, actually, the hoarse shock of it swallowed up by the crackling of the coals and cooing of nocturnal insects and wildlife.

Lance, though, must have heard him anyway, or been expecting his shock, because the plastic stiffness melts from his expression as he shoots straight up, scrambling to his feet and pacing back and forth barely paces away from the small flames. Bizarrely, Keith chokes down the urge to warn Lance about the uneven ground that he might trip on.

“I — I was never religious, you know?” One of his hands tugs at his hair, making the dark curls frizzy the more he messes with it. The other waves frantically back and forth, faster with every word. “None of us really were. But Mamá dragged us to church anyway. Every Sunday. Maybe to give us something to be bored about, I don’t know. She never really explained herself. I didn’t ask.” Lance stops abruptly, loud hands freezing, marching back to his bedroll and standing on it for a moment, looking lost. “I don’t — it’s not that I liked it. It was boring as hell. But I — I guess I believed some of it. I dunno.” Before Keith can blink he collapses on top of his blankets, like his strings have been cut. Both hands slide in his hair, now, dark strands clenched between his fingers, elbows resting on his knees. “It was just…dark, though,” he says softly. “Empty.”

Keith feels as if he’s encased in ice. His heart pounds, galloping against his chest, rushing blood through his ears so quickly he can hardly hear anything else. Part of him hopes Lance is playing some kind of cruel joke, but he knows he isn’t.

“When did you —” he doesn’t even know how to phrase it. Hell, he doesn’t know what he’s phrasing, really. “What —” He trails off again, lost. He looks at Lance blankly. Something bitter floods his mouth.

He imagines, for a moment, making this trek home without Lance. It’s not something he’s allowed himself to think about before. Even with Shiro missing, he’d stubbornly refused to even entertain the idea that Shiro was gone for good. The only time he’d let himself think about it was — was Naxzela. And even then, he was the one sure would be going.

They come to him now, unbidden, thoughts. About life — without Lance. Without his loud teasing and big smiles and quiet kindness, without his begrudging but unwavering support, his steady hands and clear voice as he says we’re all behind you, Keith, we’ve got you. I’ve got you.

A tear burns hot down his cheek, startling him back to the stillness of the night, the cool air and quiet noise. Another follows, and another, and then he’s swallowing the giant lump in his throat and holding back a sob.

“You nearly…when?” He can’t bring himself to say the word, to ask directly. To ask would make it real, concrete.

“The Omega Shield,” Lance whispers. He has yet to look up, but has stopped pulling so harshly on his hair. “A blast just —” he shudders. “Right through me an’ Red. You know when — when it’s cold out, and you walk a while without gloves? And your hands get so cold they burn?”

“Yeah,” Keith says softly. His lips taste of salt.

Lance glances at him. His eyes are big and brown and desperate, aching. Glassy, wet and ready to break. “It was like that. All over. Like every molecule was tearing itself apart, like I was unravelling. I was almost grateful when it stopped.”

“And when it stopped?” Keith chokes out.

“Nothing. Endless, nothingness. For a thousand eternities. I lived and grew and died for the rest of time, alone.” Lance heaves, like he’s about the sob or throw up or both.

The first tear finally drips down Lance’s face, tracing from the corner of his eye down his nose, pausing at the tip of it before dropping, finally, into his lap. It springs Keith into action, and before he can even think he surges forward, gathering him in his arms and pulling him into his lap, squeezing tightly and rocking them back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Lance doesn’t so much as twitch, crying great hiccuping sobs into Keith’s chest.

“I’m afraid to sleep,” he chokes out. “I haven’t in days. Every time I do I’m terrified I won’t wake up.”

“I’ve got you,” Keith assures, at a total loss. He lays his hand on the back of Lance’s head, holding him tightly. He can feel Lance’s heartbeat where their chests are pressed together, stuttering and sprinting.

“I don’t want to die.”

“You’re not gonna die.”

Lance only sobs again. Keith is aghast, terrified to hold him any tighter but unsure of what else to do. Lance has never been fragile, to him. He’s more stubborn than an ox, a streak of fire lighting up his spine, dark eyes shining with fury every time his forehead’s pressed to Keith’s, screeching ‘till he’s blue in the face that he’s right and Keith’s wrong and he’s gonna show it to him, just you wait and see. He’s seen Lance angry, seen him annoyed, seen him golden with the fire of competition and glowing with the brightness of his laughter. He’s seen Lance worn and insecure. Never, not once in the years Keith has known him and fought with him and led with him, has he seen Lance fragile.

But he is, right now. Now, quivering in Keith’s arms, sobs shaking his frame, Keith feels like he’s holding him together, like if he lets go Lance will shatter to shards on the floor.

So Keith holds him. He holds him until his arms ache, and past that. He holds him until his shirt is soaked and cold in the chilly air, until his knees burn from the tiny bumps of the ground. He holds him until Lance’s sobs peter out, until the orange sun of the system they’re stopping in peeks out from the horizon, stars blinking out of sight.

Hours later, Lance shifts, pulling away slightly. Keith holds tighter, refusing to let him pull away too far.

“Don’t,” Keith says, before Lance can apologize.

That cracks a smile on Lance’s face, to his own surprise. “No?” His voice is wrecked, throat no doubt raw.

“Save your apologies for when you actually do something stupid,” Keith affirms. He hesitates a second, then reaches out, brushing the frazzled curls from Lance’s forehead and wiping the tears from his cheeks. Lance winces slightly as Keith’s thumb brushes his cheekbone.

Keith pulls away. “Sorry. Rough hands.”

But Lance’s hand darts out and grabs Keith’s. “No, it’s — I don’t mind it.” He places it back on his face, shutting his eyes, breath shuddering. His sleeve falls down his arm.

Keith narrows his eyes. Criss-crossing Lance’s arms are dozens of jagged white scars, like lightning bolts across his skin.

“I wake up with more every day,” Lance explains, noticing Keith’s expression. “I was — I died, Keith.”

Keith flinches. Lance swallows, carrying on.

“I felt my heart stop. I don’t know how long, but it was…there was a severance. Something permanent. I felt it.” He runs his hands through his hair again, but much gentler this time. A fidget instead of a panicked tugging. The roots are white, like Shiro’s. “Allura did her best, I think. But I was gone so long. And she’d never done it before.”

“Is everything…working alright?” It’s an awkward way to say it. But Keith doesn’t know how else to say am I going to lose you? Later? Are you here to stay?

Lance shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to hear her tell me it’s not.”

“I don’t want to wake up one day and find out — find out, Lance.”

Lance swallows. “I know. I don’t — what do I —”

“We’ll talk to her,” Keith promises. “We’ll figure it out. I’ve got you, Lance.”

Lance’s chin trembles, but he slumps forward, exhausted. “Promise?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He’s silent for a moment, face tucked in Keith’s neck. The muffled sounds of the team waking up starts to fill the air. “I’m tired, Keith.”

“I’ll watch for you. I’ll make sure you wake up.”

“Okay,” Lance whispers again. Keith feels his eyelashes flutter closed, feels his heartbeat slow, his breathing even. “I trust you.”

As Lance starts to grow heavier in his arms, Keith tightens his hold. He presses a kiss to the top of Lance’s head.

“I’ve got you.”

I won’t let you fade away.

———

part two

[enig998]

Kidge fic - Victorian AU

Here’s the fic I promised. :D

———————

After the sudden disappearance of her father and brother, along with their family friend, Takashi Shirogane, during a business trip, Katie Holt runs away from her small village to the vast but mysterious streets of London to find her loved ones.

Disguising herself as a boy, Katie— now Pidge— takes up a small job as a newspaper boy wondering and searching for any sort of information or clues she can find on her family.

She manages to have several useful contacts over the next few months around the city, knowing almost everything and everyone. Her favourite contacts are Rolo, Nyma and Beezer. This in turn, earns her the title ‘The Way-Finder’ among the working class and some of the nobles as well— lost something/someone? Leave it to Pidge!

Lance and Hunk are her most frequent customers; she sees them almost everyday. The former often comes frantically running towards Pidge, begging the newspaper boy to find a particular cat named Green. Said cat wasn’t exactly owned by the lanky nobleman, he claimed it belonged to a very important friend; he made sure to keep his blabbering mouth in check when Pidge often tried to switch the topic towards Green’s owner, Lance had yet to crack under her intense interrogation.

It was never hard finding Green though, in fact, the cat found her most of the time until it became apparent that whenever Lance noticed the feline missing, he’d make a buzz for Pidge.

“It’s as though she turns invisible for a couple of seconds!” Lance complained while he glared at Green who was comfortably curled on Pidge’s lap, “The other cats are definitely a handful but recently Green just seems on edge to get away from me and see you. It is ironic, considering the fact that Red is considered the more moody of the bunch; I’m surprised Green beat him to it.”

Turns out, Lance babysits five cats for his so-called ‘important’ friend; all of them are named after a colour: Black, Red, Green, Blue and Yellow.

Hunk met Pidge when he was out on a walk on a fortunate sunny day. He noticed the newspaper boy practically ogling the latest factory machines that we’re being experimented on in the warehouse the engineer worked in.

When he approached Pidge, Hunk only meant to start a small conversation with the boy, but in a matter of seconds the two were enthusiastically talking and sharing their interest and ideas on the latest forms of engineering and communications. The latter was already best friends with Lance and the two often walked by her path to greet her a good day. Out of the two boys, Hunk is the only one who secretly knows Pidge is a girl.

Even after a year of staying in London, Pidge’s search for her family has barely made any progress— it frustrates her how easy it is to find something for someone else but not being able to do the same for own herself.

Enter Keith Kogane, a young man from the infamous Galra noble family asking Pidge’s help to find his brother, Takashi Shirogane.

“That’ll cost ya’ £100, Mr. Kogane,” Pidge had already held up her hand right in front of his face.

“What?!” Keith spluttered out, “That price is absurd! I heard from Hunk that you charge someone only £5 every time you search for his cat.”

“Do you want me to find him for you or not?” Pidge shot back without missing a beat. Keith countered with a frightening glare before the two went on to a full argument about the payment.

In the end, Keith only gave Pidge £50 as an advance payment, while promising that the latter would receive the other half of the fee once the job was done.

Despite keeping her face calm and collected, Pidge’s mind was reeling, there was someone else also looking for Shiro and considering the boy’s heritage, this could open several locked doors for her in the upper ranks. Plus, since the boy was ridiculously rich, she might as well exploit him a little; she hasn’t had a decent meal in weeks because of slow business lately.

Mr. Kogane— who later allows Pidge to call him Keith, is the only customer the latter has had where the two have to work together. Pidge always works solo but she really did need Keith’s help to get some questions answered.

While working together, Keith starts suspecting Pidge’s true gender. He was known for being very observant in his surroundings and everything about the way Pidge walked, talked and appeared just screamed ‘female’ to him even though those hints were as subtle as a spec of dust on a table, hidden by the sun’s rays making it almost impossible to figure out if it’s there or not. He even noticed that on a couple of occasions, the newspaper ‘boy’ would stare longingly at the dresses that were held out on display.

A month passed where a lot of strange events took place; Shiro was mysteriously found unconscious around the the river Thames with a strange prosthetic right arm and just about no memories as to what happened or how he ended up there. While Pidge was happy finding Shiro, it hurt knowing that she still couldn’t find anything on her father and brother, nor could she reveal her true identity to him yet. After recovering him, the trio were suddenly caught by royal guards, instead of them demanding any sort of explanation, they simply escorted the three to the royal palace, where none other than Queen Allura herself had asked for their audience. Pidge could barely register the fact that Lance and Hunk were already at the royal court with them, she was still trying to grasp the concept of why she was here. Even Keith was in a daze.

Pidge glanced at Lance for an explanation before Green suddenly came running towards her and rubbed her body against the former’s legs.

A soft giggle escaped the queen’s lips, “So this is the one who you often run off to?” The white haired royal looked at Green while asking the question.

In response, the cat let out a adorable meow before setting herself comfortably on Pidge’s right foot.

So that’s who Lance’s ‘important’ friend was...

It wasn’t horrifying hearing the queen talk about an assassination attempt on her life a few days before, what was truly horrifying was hearing that her missing family were taken prisoners by them for human trafficking. Upon Lance’s recommendation, Queen Allura asked the five attendees to help solve this case; killing two yalmors with one meteorite, that’s what the royal advisor, Coran, added, whatever that meant.

“It’s simple”, Lance gestured with his right hand, “Shiro so far has had the most contact with them, plus since he’s also from the military so that makes him a huge asset.” Said man seemed to stifle slightly but held a firm posture, even though he was in a much worse condition than everyone combined.

“I’m your ticket to just about any and every party and event London has to offer,” Lance boasted before winking at the queen, “I would also like to add that I was an excellent shooter back in my military day, still am,”

His hand gestured towards Hunk, “This fine gentleman not only excels at cooking and engineering but is also a well qualified medic for the field,” the large man blushed at the compliment.

“Mr. Hotshot here,” Lance pointed while closing his hand to a fist and pointing only with his thumb continued, “also has military experience but his connections with the Galra household are extremely valuable,” the nobleman grumble while glaring at Keith.

The black haired boy could only stare at Lance in confusion, he leaned towards Pidge whispering, “... Am I supposed to know him? He seems really mad”.

Apparently he wasn’t quiet enough because Lance heard him, “You and I were in the same rank under Iverson!” He replied exasperatedly, this time pointed his index finger at Kogane, “You and I were always competing with one another!”

“We were?” Keith only arched an eyebrow.

“YES WE WERE— NEVERMIND THAT THEN!” The lanky boy cleared his throat to stop his little tantrum, “moving on. Lastly, we have Pidge, the one any only Way-finder of London. There is nothing he can’t find around these streets!” Lance ended with an excited grin.

Queen Allura stayed silent for a few moments before she asked the groups if they wanted to take up the job. Pidge was the first to accept; her family could finally be found, there is no way she could back down from this.

Before Pidge and the rest of the group were allowed to take the guest rooms of the palace— upon the queen’s insistence— Coran called behind them.

“You all get yourselves well rested nice and tight before starting the day off tomorrow— especially you Shiro”, he spoke, “Meanwhile, I shall make sure the royal servants fetch you some dresses Pidge, can’t have a lovely lady like you solving our case in ragged clothes— Oh! We’ll get some fine clothings for you as well Shiro!”

No one heard the last part; they were all too busy trying to put together ‘dresses’, ‘Pidge’ and ‘lady’ in one sentence. The court room exploded after five seconds.

Shiro was the first to speak after he finally looked at Pidge, “... Wait a minute, Katie?! Is that you?”

“Pidge is a what!?” Even the queen lost her regal demeanour.

“WHA— YOU’RE A GIRL?!” Lance was being Lance.

“Guess your secret’s out, sorry about that Pidge— no Katie? ... What do you want us to call you now that everyone knows you’re a girl?” Hunk’s reaction didn’t help calming the girl’s nerves.

Lance head instantly turned towards Hunk, “Wait, you already knew about it?!”

Keith simply nodded is head, so his assumptions were true.

Pidge could only turn to glare at Coran for his mistake, causing the man to take a step back for fear of facing the girl’s wrath, “I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret!” He said it while holding up his arms.

“PIDGE YOU HAVE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!!!” Pidge sighed at Lance’s overreaction.

It took three whole months for the case to finally be resolved after figuring out who they were dealing with; surprise surprise, the Galra household’s main branch. That involved meddling with the intimidating Zarkon, the insidious Lotor and the terrifying Haggar; all three family member’s plan involved nothing less than world domination.

During that time, Pidge was also able to find her brother and father and returned home promptly after her long goodbyes were settled with Team Voltron— another stranger idea suggested (and ironically accepted among everyone) by Coran.

Life was peaceful again for Pidge, despite receiving a year’s worth of chores as a punishment for what she made her poor mother go through when she ran away.

A couple of days later, a parcel arrives at the Holt’s doorstep and on top of the package are several letters attached to it for Pidge.

By opening the parcel, the young lady was able to find a beautiful green dress with hints of gold on the edges. It was simply the most beautiful piece of clothing Pidge had ever seen. Not even the dresses that the queen had offered her could compare to this one— technically she didn’t dare wearing any of those dresses even after her secret was out, she still had to hide her cover among her contacts.

Pidge next opened the biggest and the most heaviest letter first, inside she was surprised to find £50 that came rolling out so suddenly. The girl stared dumbfounded at the large sum before her attention shifted towards the other letters.

Lance’s letters promised many future visits, some even claimed Queen Allura and Coran might join as well. The queen and her advisor offered her the best wishes for her future; the former even asked if the two could converse like close friends and meet from time to time. Hunk asked her if she was willing to come back to London any time soon, he wanted to show her the latest factory mechanism he was working on as well as some new dishes that made the girl’s mouth water. Shiro wrote about his recovery going well with time but complained immensely about a brilliant but obnoxious scientist, Dr. Slav, who was willing to build him a new prosthetic arm.

Keith’s letter felt more like a telegram,it only seemed to acknowledge Pidge’s fee for completing her job by finding Shiro; nothing more, nothing less.

Pidge was a bit disappointed seeing how despite the partnership, Keith probably didn’t want anything else to do with her.

After a moment she gathered all her letters and put them safely in her chest before she picked up the dress to show it to her family. Suddenly, a secret letter fell off from inside the dress on the floor; it was from Lance. After reading it’s contents, Pidge couldn’t help but smile through a whole week’s worth of chores— she was practically glowing in her mother’s eyes.

It was Keith who asked for Lance’s advice on dresses.

It was Keith who blushed as red as a tomato when he chose and bought the green dress for her.

It was Keith who was now often joked around with for frequently asking everyone else about her well being.

And it was Keith who was ‘secretly’ making plans for a party or two— even though he despised the very idea of social gatherings — so that she and her family could visit London again.

‘... He practically wrote the longest letter out of all of us combined but suddenly turned shy and decided against sending it. Lucky for us Pidge, I managed to get my hands on it!’

Pidge could practically feel his excitement from the letters.

‘Who knew Mullet head could be such a romantic sap; I bid you good luck with him Pidge.

Your partner in justice and fantastic sharpshooter,

Lance

P.S. the cats miss you, especially Green’

[ursae-minoris-world]

A peaceful evening

G, 1355 words, chapters : can be read independently, but is the third chapter of “It’s not rocket science” (chapters 3/4, 3093 words so far).

This happens in the first part of season 7, after Krolia's departure. The team has landed on a friendly alien planet for restock and repairs. They get some time off to relax.

This was written for @hidge-week, day 3: date night!

Read it here on AO3, here on pillowfort, and find it here on twitter!

---

Hunk closed the metallic panel and patted it fondly. Blue looked down at him, giving a little nod as if to thank him. Hunk smiled at her. “You're as good as new, Blue!” He stretched and yawned. “I'm done with the repairs, Coran!”

“And I'm done with analyzing the data collected by the Lions.” added Pidge. “According to my calculations, we can continue following the same course. Do you want to take a look?”

“This is something we can all discuss tomorrow. Why don't you take some time to rest? Today's work is done, and the night is still young.”

Shiro smiled. “We all could use some down time.”

Allura, who had been sitting with Lance and Romelle, stood up and joined her hands. “The Ebrilians are welcoming, and the city of Ytrep is known for its beauty. Our hosts encouraged us to visit it, so anyone interested shoud do so.”

Keith crossed his arms. He seemed tense, but he spoke softly. “We were told the city is safe, and there were no incidents while re-stocking. Civilian clothe will make it easier to fit in. But stay alert, and keep your comms with you. We are Paladins of Voltron, and could be targeted by anyone wanting to sell us to the Galra Empire.”

Hunk shivered. Way to ruin the mood! He couldn't blame Keith for being careful, but now he was unsure if he still wanted to visit the town. Too bad. It had seemed nice enough, and there were a place or two that he had been wanting to return to. He exchanged a look with Pidge.

“You want to go?” she asked. She spoke in a way that was meant to be detached, but she wasn't good at hiding her hopeful expression. All his hesitations melted away.

“When Coran and I were shopping for food, I noticed this cute little place. Some kind of café or tearoom. Not sure if they're still open at this hour, but…the pastries on display looked delicious.”

“I trust you on this, Hunk” Pidge replied with a half smile. “Sounds like a plan!”

“Sounds like a date!” teased Lance.

Hunk rubbed his neck, feeling his ears grow hot. “Well, you know, it's like… you can't...”

Much to his embarrassment, Lance sat up, eyes widening. “Wait… You're not denying?”

That somehow managed to get everyone's attention, and Shiro, Keith, Allura, Romelle, Coran, all looked in their direction. Hunk felt his brain fill with static. They hadn't told anyone about their relationship yet, and Matt had kept his mouth shut. Now he was blundering spectacularly. Everyone had expressions of surprise or amusement. Keith and Shiro exchanged a look, smirking.

Lance leaned forward, squinting suspiciously. “Huunk?”

“Oh, shut up Lance. Mind your own business.” Pidge snapped. She patted Hunk's arm and he turned to her. She was frowning, determined. “Let's go.”

That warmed Hunk's heart, and he felt strength come back to his numb body, as if her support had  reignited his quintescence. He smiled and she smiled back at him. It felt like time had stopped and everything around ceased to exist.

“Hunk?” she asked. Her voice brought him back to reality.

“Yeah yeah I'm coming.” They walked away, ignoring the whispers behind them.

----

They took Green's speeder to get to the city.

The sun was slowly coming closer to the horizon, but they had still a few hours of daylight. Ebril was on the outskirts of the Empire, so far away that, akin to Earth, it had never been colonized by the Galra. The Rebels had found them first and had formed an alliance with the planet, establishing headquarters there and helping with protection.

The city of Ytrep was all white domes out of some translucent material and red dust streets filled with aliens from all over the universe. Hunk guided Pidge towards the café he had in mind, only noticing after a while that they were holding hands somehow.

The café was established in a small dome nested under a gigantic tree; the smooth, purple trunk twisted gracefully and finished in a crown of branches forming spiral-like patterns and bearing long, bluish leaves. The building's walls were completely transparent and slightly iridescent. Inside, small white tables and seats were surrounded with plants; wines were growing up the inside of the facade. It looked like a soap bubble used as a greenhouse.

“It's… beautiful” sighed Pidge.

“It reminded me of you”, admitted Hunk. After their visit to Olkarion, Pidge had started collecting plants from the places they visited, and growing them in a special place from the Castle. Coran had assisted her with this project, and Hunk had collaborated too, growing herbs, vegetables and fruits to have fresh food on board. They had lost most of it when the Castle was destroyed, aside from a few potted aromatics that Hunk had saved.

“Oh, Hunk.” There were tears in her eyes.

Woops. He didn't expect her to get that emotional. He squeezed her hand gently, and landed a peck on her nose, earning a chuckle from her.“Wait to see their pastries,”he suggested, pointing at the display. There, set on translucent shelves, were arranged hills of cakes, forests of multicolored cones-shaped delicacies, clouds of creamy mousse, lakes of pies covered in jewel-like fruits, cities of delicate rolls.

Pidge leapt in excitement. “They look amazing! We have to go in”. Pulling him by his hand, she guided them through the entrance.

An Ebrolian, all dressed in white, came to greet them. Their pink exoskeleton displayed elegant decorative paints of blue leaves, matching the leaves of the big tree towering above the tearoom.

They invited them to sit at a small, white table. Around them, white pillars were supporting potted plants, their blue leaves and orange flowers cascading down. They could see outside, the sun getting down over the city's skyline, it's rays filtering through the big tree's foliage above them.

They didn't know anything on the menu, so, on their waiter's advice, they took the most popular hot beverage. It turned out to be made of the sap of a specific plant, mixed with fruit juices. Hunk appreciated it's creamy texture and rich taste, with notes of dark chocolate, coconut, and roasted chestnuts. Pidge was delighted with it as well. They also both took pastries, which they shared. They were intricate in their combination of savors and textures. Hunk's one was green and had fluffy layers alternating with more crispy ones, associating citrus-like taste and more herby accents. Pidge's one was a pouch filled with cream, flowery flavors with a honey aftertaste.

They talked about small things, avoiding topics like the war and the state of the Earth. They discussed space science, the planets they discovered, the various cultures they came across, the things they learned.

When they were done, they went for a walk, admiring the city. The domes were reflecting the changing colors of the sky, pinks and purples and golds and blues. The streets were still busy, but there was a relaxed atmosphere. People of all kind of origins were walking or discussing in small groups, children were playing, multicolored scaly creatures were flying around and being fed by locals, and the vehicles used inside the city were mostly small and quiet. It was hard to believe that this place was involved in a war. They had rarely in their travels come across places that seemed that peaceful.

After a while, they took the speeder again and found the rest of the team where the Lions were still sitting. They had set up a campfire and were sitting around it, talking quietly. They greeted them when they joined them, but this time no one made any undesirable comment.

The night had fallen, and the sky was spangled with stars. The planet's big, blue moon was full, casting a celestial light on everything. Pidge sat huddled against him, her body heat keeping him warm against the chillness of the air. The flames were dancing a hypnotic dance, and the team's discussion had fallen into a comfortable silence. Hunk closed his eyes, wishing for this moment to last forever.

[randomfandomwriting]

Hello friend!! Here's what i thought of: little one shots of when Lance first chirps for members of his pack 💕

(Hi friend! Thank you for the request! I really really love this idea actually! {Also, like, two months after I started writing this, as I'm close to finishing it, I realize, I totally could've and maybe should've done this completely different??? Too late now though haha})

Really everyone is involved. Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Shiro, Allura, Coran, Lance.

~Minor angst (turns into fluff), Fluffy, no nsfw~ 

"All I'm saying is, Iverson didn't really need to ban us from the simulator, because, hey, my grades are already so deep in the trash compactor, we'll be lucky to even qualify for it," Lance said. He squirmed in his desk chair, his head resting in his hand, elbow on the desk. 

He had been staring at the book in front of him for a while, he didn't really have any idea how long, but none of the words were actually soaking in. His knee bounced at supersonic speed. 

He swiveled around in his chair to face Hunk's back, as Hunk was currently writing down the answers to whatever questions had been assigned for the homework for whatever it was that Lance's brain refused to read.

Hunk smelled how worked up Lance was getting, so he sat up and turned to face him. "Are you really that much behind? You should've said something, man, I would've helped you study." Hunk's brow was lowered but he gave Lance a tentative smile. 

School was always a touchy subject for Lance, Hunk knew that. But Lance knew that Hunk would never hold Lance's struggle with proving his intelligence against him. 

Lance sighed and rubbed his face. His eyes were tired. His chest was tight with pent up energy and frustrations.

"Yeah, I know, and I know that Pidge would probably help if I asked him, even though we just met him the beginning of this year, but I don't want to be the weak link, I don't want to be the slacker, I don't want to be annoying and constantly asking for help, I just, can't do it." 

Lance's shoulders slumped. He stared down at his fingers while he picked at his nails. 

Hunk took a deep breath and let himself scent the room just a bit, trying however he could to help Lance calm down. "Buddy, there's nothing wrong with you, your brain is wired differently and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that." 

Lance glanced up at him and gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Hunk."

"That smile was so fake, my grandma's teeth are suing." 

“Oh my gosh, Hunk, no, that was too smooth,” Lance said, shaking his head and trying.to not smile.

Hunk smiled back at him. “I’m not wrong. But seriously, dude, it’s okay. I know the Garrison is really bad with giving accommodations, but that doesn’t mean that I am or Pidge is.”

Lance tilted his head and shrugged. “You guys are both really busy with your own workloads and responsibilities, I don’t want to be more work for you guys, that’s rude and annoying, and I don’t want to be rude and annoying. I should be able to do this kind.of thing myself, everyone else can, I’m just, I don’t know, it just doesn’t work right, my brain doesn’t work right.” He took a deep breath and stared at the floor. He wiggled his legs and tapped his fingers on his thighs.

Hunk was quiet for a moment, pushing his chair side to side with his feet. Their room was getting messy, they needed to clean up a bit before bed tonight.

He stood and pulled Lance up into a hug. Lance didn’t hug back, just stood in his arms, so Hunk scented him lightly. Lance relaxed and took a deep breath in, bathing his senses with the beta calm.

“You’re not annoying or a burden. I know we don’t talk about it, but I’m really glad Keith flunked out, I don’t know how I would survive the Garrison without my best friend. And we don’t know Pidge really well yet, but he seems friendly and I’m sure he wants to get into the simulator just as much as we do. The three of us are a team, and you’re a really important part of that team, Lance, you’re our pilot, we need you, okay?”

Lance nodded slightly. “Okay.”

“No, I mean that. You’re basically family, Lance. I’m on your side.”

Lance looked up at him. “You really mean all of that?”

Hunk nodded. “Of course I do, buddy, why would I lie about this?”

Lance took a deep breath and let out a quivery chirp. It was uneven and hesitant, extremely high pitched and it broke off sharply at the end.

Hunk felt his chest swell a bit. Lance smiled, uncertainty and vulnerability in his eyes. Hunk beamed down at his best friend. 

 "Thank you," Hunk said. 

 Lance nodded. "Thank you, too." 

 They stood like that for a while longer, because they'd forgotten how nice it was just to have someone you care about holding you. When they let go, they both quietly started tidying up the desks, the beds, the floor. 

Within half an hour, it was mandatory lights out and they were both curled up, listening to their breaths in the almost-silent room. The walls around them were still and the.boys were still. 

"Does this mean I'm part of your pack now?" Hunk whispered. 

Lance rolled over to face Hunk's side of the room, blinking at the dark. "Yeah. I mean, you're the first person I've ever, like, chirped for. Outside of my family, I mean." 

His cheeks felt an odd heat and he was glad that it was dark. Was he proud of embarrassed? He couldn't tell. 

"That makes it even more special then! I'm buying you a cookie tomorrow, okay? Double chocolate chip, does that sound good?" Hunk shifted in his bed and a small creak crossed the room.

 Lance smiled and turned over onto his stomach and rested his chin on his pillow. "That sounds amazing, yes please!" 

 Hunk.yawned softly. "Will do, buddy!" 

 Silence fell over the room again and Lance pressed his face into the pillow. He would build a great pack for himself, he knew he would. And it couldn't have started with anybody other than the best friend Lance could ever ask for. 

~

"Really, it's just a matter of shutting up. Which, yeah, I know, is really hard to do, same, but, just, try to remember to shut your mouth?" 

Lance rolled his eyes at Pidge. "Yeah, thanks." 

Pidge sighed. "No. Not like that." 

Lance squinted at Pidge, and tilted his head to the side. "How else could you mean that?" 

Pidge groaned and looked down. "Like, I know it's hard, I know exactly how hard it can be to just stop talking, but I know how much it helps to learn how to. People stop giving you the Looks, people actually start listening to what you've said, they tolerate you more."

Lance nodded and gave a shrug. "Okay." 

"Lance?" 

"Pidge?"

"Almost always I'll be willing to listen to whatever bullcrap you have to say. I mean, sometimes I'm in a bad mood and sometimes I need to focus, and that's when I'll tell you to shut up, and I'll mean it, but usually, I won't mind. I like you bugging mw, it reminds me of —" Pidge's words broke off into a cough. 

Lance raised his eyebrows af his friend. Pidge smiled back weakly. "I'm just telling you, I'm listening and I care. I'm really here for you, okay?" 

Lance smiled back and felt a tapping from the inside of his heart. He held his arms open and Pidge hesitantly walked into them, and they exchanged an extremely awkward hug. 

On letting go, Lance looked down at Pidge, took a breath deep enough to fill his entire diaphragm and let an unsteady but unbroken chirp out, loud enough to reverberate just a bit off the walls of the small study room. 

Pidge gave Lance an incredulous look. "Really? Me?" 

He snorted. "Yeah, really. We may not be best friends but, you remind me of family, and you really care, at least a little bit, so, you're pack, if that's alright with you?" 

Pidge nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's totally alright, it's kind of an honor right? Thanks, man." 

They exchanged smiles and a fist bump and then silently agreed to settle back down with their class assignments. 

Lance was a bit surprised with himself and the impromptu chirping. But not disppointed, not regretful. Pidge would be a good pack member too. 

Lance let out a small sigh and chirped quietly to himself, right inside his throat. His pack would be amazing. 

~

"So, I am quite interested in learning more about your kind, Lance," Allura said. 

Lance raised his eyebrows. "My kind?" 

Allura nodded. "Humans. Specifically, I'm very curious about these dynamics you've all spoken of." 

They were sitting on the sunken couch, across from one another. Allura sat up straight, ankles crossed and hands clasped neatly on her lap. Lance was leaning back, his hands behind his head and knees spread wide. 

"Oh, yeah, haha, well, what would you like to know?" Lance tried to avoid clearing his throat obnoxiously. 

Allura leaned forward slightly and smiled warmly at him. "Well, what are these dynamics and how do they apply to you paladins, and how does that affect your relationships with those who do not have these dynamics?" 

Lance sat quietly for a moment, trying to pull his thoughts together. He didnt want to sound like an idiot in front of the princess. Why couldn't she have asked Pidge or Shiro? 

He sucked in a deep breath. "Well, there are three dynamics. Omega, Beta, and Alpha. Um, Alphas are like the protector leader types, but, that doesn't mean that only Alphas can lead? That's like, stupid old-timey thinking. Betas are like, the peacekeepers, they're the calming ones, the chill ones. And Omegas are the like, the caretakers? And, really, it's just about what kind of instincts are the strongest I think, because I've met some heartless Omegas and some careless Betas, and everyone is allowed to be who they are you know? Dynamics dont override personalities." 

Lance chuckled and shook his head, thinking about people from Earth that he missed. His smile faded a bit.

"And how they affect us? Well, it affects everyone differently, but it also allows us to have, uh, closer bonds? But, separately, um, well, Shiro, Keith, and Pidge are Alphas, so, sometimes they get really aggressive and they sometimes go through these things called ruts, but we don't have to talk about that right now, and also they can be more forward than they think they're being. Now, Hunk, he's a Beta, so he's really chill but he's also the one who's gonna be breaking up the most fights, unless it's like a really serious Alpha Alpha fight thing, then that's my job, because I'm an Omega. Which, means, like, I'm supposed to like, take care of everyone emotionally? And do, like, home ec stuff, but honestly Hunk is a way better cook than I am, so he's beter suited to do that stuff. Also, I get heats, but again, we don't need to go into that."

Lance paused again. "What was the last question?" He wrinkled his nose and his eyebrows creased as he tried to think back and remember. 

"How do these dynamics affect relationships with Coran and I, or anyone else without them?" Allura's wide eyes were focused on Lance's face. 

Lance shrugged and smiled. "I dunno, really. I've never known someone without a dynamic, it's one of those weird new alien things." 

Allura nodded and was quiet for a minute. "So, are you all like, a family then?" 

Lance grimaced, thinking of Shiro and Keith. "Hunk and Pidge are part of my pack, my family sorta, yes, but, only them." 

Allura looked down at the floor, then looked back up at Lance, her eyebrows furrowed. "It's all very interesting, though, I am very curious how you mark a difference between those who are, er, pack members and those who are not?" 

Lance nodded and smiled. "Well, scents, and everyone has their own scent and--" he tilted his head back and pointed at one of his scent glands "--we all have a few of these bad boys on us, and when we smell like each other, other people can smell it on us and it's like having, uh, maybe like a sign? That says, "I have an Alpha and a Beta in my pack," at least in my case that's what it says." 

Allura nodded but still had a look of dissatisfaction on her face. "How does one become part of a pack?" 

Lance sat forward. "Omega perk, at least by tradition. You can have a pack without Omegas, of course, but, when an Omega is around, they get to choose, and they get the final say on who can or can't be in a pack. Traditionally." 

Allura nodded and smiled. "And how is this done?" 

Lance smiled and stood up. He held out a hand. Allura stood and took his hand gingerly. Lance took a deep breath and let out two solid chirps, straight from his throat. Not very loud, but strong chirps. 

Allura tilted her head. "What does that mean?" 

Lance laughed nervously and let go of her hand. "It means youre part of my pack. You've treated us well, whether it was out of necessity or not, you've treated us well, and, I trust you, and this is my way of thanking you, I guess?" He tried to will away the blush he could feel spreading across his cheeks. 

Allura smiled warmly at him and nodded seriously. "Thank you, too, Lance, I understand that this is an important ordeal for you humans, I don't take it lightly." 

Lance nodded back at her. He pointed a thumb at the door, and took a step in that direction. "I'm gonna, go tell Hunk and Pidge." 

Allura nodded and gave a small wave goodbye as he left. 

~

Lance groaned and sat up. He took a deep breath in then froze. He opened his eyes and gave a weak smile. "Hello?" His voice was thick with sleep. 

Shiro was standing beside his bed, staring at him with an awkward smile plastered on his face. "Good morning, Lance." 

Lance scooted back and rubbed his eyes. Tucking his legs in, he motioned for Shiro to sit down on the bed. 

Shiro sat down and looked at Lance. "So, Lance, is there, something wrong?" 

Lance squinted at the man. "What?" He fought back a yawn. 

Shiro frowned and seemed to be deliberating something. He opened his mouth slightly, shut it, then opened it again to say, "Have I done something to offend you, or make you not like me?" 

Lance shook his head. "No? Why?" 

Shiro looked down at his hands, which were tightly gripping his knees. "I think of all of you paladins-- and Allura and Coran-- as," he paused, taking a deep breath, then looking Lance straight in the eye, "as my pack. And, I respect that you're a more traditional Omega, I do, and I understand that you've already started your pack, I just..." Shiro looked down at his hands again. "Is there any chance that I might be able to join your pack at some point in time?" He swallowed hard and looked up at Lance. 

Lance was covering his mouth, trying his hardest not to laugh. 

Shiro slouched just slightly, then nodded. "I understand, Lance, please--" 

Lance grabbed Shiro's hand and chirped loudly, multiple times, and then scented lightly. Shiro, completely perplexed, froze and looked at Lance.

Lance laughed quietly. "You've been my hero since before I even got into the Garrison. I didn't ask you to be part of my pack because I figured you wouldn't actually want to be part of my pack. I mean, sure, we're all stuck together out here, but that doesn't mean we have to be stuck together, you know?" 

Shiro nodded. "I do understand that, but I do want to be part of your pack, Lance, I already consider all of you my pack, this," he gestured between them, "just officializes it in my mind." He paused for just a moment. "Also, you're a wonderful Omega, and our pack is wonderful, and there may be many wonderful people on Earth too, but no one there is really going to understand what all this has been like as well as you guys do and will. We're stuck together, and that's good." 

Lance chirped again, once and much softer. "Thank you, Shiro." 

Shiro nodded and gave Lance a smile that warmed his eyes up even more than usual. "Thank you, Lance." 

Shiro cleared his throat and Lance let go of his hand. Shiro stood and gave Lance a small nod. "I'll leave and let you get ready for the day, sorry for the intrusion." Shiro have a sheepish grin. 

Lance waved his hand and stretched his legs out across his bed again. "Ah, it's fine, glad we got that sorted out." 

Shiro nodded and then walked out. Lance waited until the door slid closed to lay back down and close his eyes. He wanted at least ten more minutes of sleep before his day actually started.

~

Coran whistled cheerily as he and Lance worked to do their cleaning. Lance never even really complained about it anymore, because he liked the focus he got from being able to just zone in on something to clean it and make sure he'd done his job. 

Sure, Coran's stories could get long-winded, but when Lance was focusing? He could tune just about anything out without even trying. 

Suddenly he stopped. "Hey Coran?" 

"Yes, my boy?" The Altean didn't even turn around, or stop wiping at the control panel. 

Lance took a deep breath and let out a sharp series of chirps. "You're part of my pack now, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you and all the work you do around here, and youre kinda insane, but I think that just helps us all stay a bit more sane, and thank you." 

Coran turned around and gave him a smile. "Thank you, Lance, now could you pass me that rag?" 

Lance knew that Coran was normally one for theatrics, but the Altean knew when to be more reserved too. Lance appreciated that effort to reassure Lance that, yes, Coran most definitely understood the seriousness of this subject, knew that Lance didn't want to hash out every detail or mame a huge ringing announcement or anything like that. 

Lance's pack seemed to be growing faster than he could really imagine, but, he liked the choices he was making. These people truly were his pack, they deserved his chirps. 

~

The whole team was sitting around the table, eating their dinner. There had been a battle the day before, and everyone was starting to feel more normal again, ready to joke and laugh, able to feel something other than the weight of war in their hearts. 

Pidge told a joke that made Hunk snort his alien pouch drink out of his nose, making everyone laugh, even if they didn't like Pidge's joke. 

Lance looked around the table at these people, his people, his pack, and started chirping to himself, then a bit louder, just so they could all hear him. 

The sound of Omegan chirps put a contented smile on everyone's faces. 

Almost everyone, anyways. 

"Is that it then?" a calm voice asked. 

Lance looked over at Keith. "What?" 

Keith's eyes were fixed wholly on Lance's face. "Does this mean i get to be part of your pack then?" 

"What do you mea-- oh my god I never asked you to be part of my pack, I'm so sorry." Lance looked slightly panicked as he nodded at Keith. "I've been meaning to tell you, for, like, a week, I forgot I hadnt, oh my gosh."

Pidge snorted. "Leave it to you, Lance." 

Lance pointed his fork at Pidge. "Watch it." He turned back to Keith. "Yes, this is it, you're part of my pack." 

Keith smiled softly at Lance. "Thanks." 

Lance nodded and took another bite of his meal. He glanced around at his pack. 'I was right,' he thought to himself. 'A great pack. And I built it myself.' He smiled at the thought before rejoining the conversation.

[butteredonions]

Please tell me about Shiro's birthday camp-out! “Save the date,” from “Shiro thinks they’ve landed on this beautiful planet for reconnaissance” to “The look of utter peace and contentment on Shiro’s face makes sleeping on rocks and bugs absolutely worth it.” (Bonus points if you explain Coran's fascination with his weird kazoo-flute haha).

From Save The Date:

Shiro thinks they’ve landed on this beautiful planet for reconnaissance, traipsing through fields full of flowers as part of a mission Allura insists has to be done on foot. This time there’s no jumping out screaming surprise. Rather, when it’s 13:26 the team simply drops all their hiking materials, Hunk produces a slightly-squashed vanilla cake out of nowhere, and as Shiro’s jaw drops the team sings Happy Birthday, Put The Flute Away Coran loudly enough to scare the native birds out of the trees.

They celebrate when the beaming sun’s highest in the sky, chasing away all the clouds in brilliant, vibrant pinks. Shiro’s birthday is a day outside of the castle entirely, marked less with streamers and balloons but with swimming, laughing, hiking, and sleeping out of doors.

“That was fun,” Shiro says, as they camp out that evening by a fire. The Lions have moved their giant heads so the bright stars are perfectly visible. “But shouldn’t we get back?”

“Nope,” Hunk says, fiercely.

“We’re staying tomorrow too, Shiro,” Pidge says, yawning in her sleeping bag.

Keith pokes him until Shiro finds his voice again. “I -”

“You have two birthdays to catch up on, I believe,” Allura says, softly. “Let us give this to you.”

Shiro doesn’t cry, exactly. But he laughs harder when there’s a second cake the next day, and an even louder rendition of Happy Birthday, Coran Do You Have To, and the second night Hunk wakes up to Shiro sitting between his Lion’s paws as he stares up at the swirling stars.

The look of utter peace and contentment on Shiro’s face makes sleeping on rocks and bugs absolutely worth it.

Aww I forgot about that one! That was the first piece I ever did for a zine, so I really wanted to do something special for it. I was also hyper-aware of working underneath a word count, which is a challenge for me. Since the final piece had to be under 2000 words, I knew every word mattered twice as much as it might in an ordinary onion-piece. This could easily have been 4k or 5k. I almost think it’s sweeter for being short, though.

I knew right away that every Paladin was going to get a special birthday, and I knew they all had to be different and tailored to each Paladin specifically. Shiro’s birthday celebration was the first one that popped into my head, actually. 

The rest of the piece can read fairly comedic; I wanted Shiro’s birthday to be a quieter moment, more introspective and peaceful. Really I just wanted to give him a break. This was back when all we had in canon was Season One; Shiro needed a rest then just as badly as he needs one now. The Paladins had the chance to not only give it to him but surprise him into taking it. I deliberately wanted them to be as gentle as possible with him, too. They don’t jump out at him and yell ‘surprise’ because Shiro doesn’t handle jump-scares well right now. They trick him into landing on the planet for ‘reconnaissance’ because Shiro would never willingly take a day off to go camping at this point in the series, let alone two days to make up for something so belated. I wanted to stress how well the team - and his friends - already know him here.

If anything, I love how much this fic is a coming-together of the Paladins as they start to grow into the camaraderie we know and love later in the series. It’s seen here in the perhaps trivial exploration of birthdays, but there’s a progression of how much the team is involved with each birthday that passes. It started as just Hunk’s idea, but by the time we get to Shiro’s birthday everyone’s in on it. Voltron’s solid team dynamics and ensemble-work is one of the things that lured me into this season from the get-go. I definitely wanted to highlight that here, too.

Coran’s fascination with his weird kazoo-flute started as a running gag, at first for the comic relief, but then I fell in love with it. In my mind there’s some kind of Altean history behind the weird-kazoo-flute - if not the flute itself, certainly the “traditional Altean day-of-birth song!” Coran mostly uses it for. I like to imagine the kazoo-flute is his instrument of choice; he picked it up during the Altean equivalent of primary school, much like in our elementary school when innocent third-graders get handed a recorder.....so there’s that slightly-nostalgic element to the kazoo-flute going on for Coran as well. After he heard the Paladins were celebrating birthdays, Coran went on a desperate hunt through the entire ship his quarters for something to play the Traditional Day-Of-Birth Song with. (The Good Luck and Blessings the song bestows don’t work if the song is played from a recording.) The kazoo-flute is what he found. It’s been many years since his primary-school days, though...but the Earthlings will never know if the kazoo-flute squawks a little where it shouldn’t ;) Allura might, but she’s so charmed to hear the sound again that you’ll never catch her complaining. 

(Taking DVD commentary asks today!)

[koganelovesmcclain]

can’t fight this feeling anymore

Anon asked: Could you do #27 for the first prompt and #18 for the second prompt like Keith comes back and he and lance talk a bit? if you can’t that’s fine love your works anyways🖤

Title: can’t fight this feeling anymore Pairing: Keith/Lance Words: 3066 Chapters: 1/1 Summary:  When Keith left to join the Blade of Marmora, Lance’s feelings for the other boy came bubbling to the surface. He’s in love with him and he needs him around. The past two months have been some of the worst of his life. He worries himself sick wondering whether Keith is alright.

But today, the BOM is coming to the Castle to help plan another attack on Zarkon’s forces. And Lance is going to convince Keith to return to him, er, Team Voltron, even if he has to beg.

Excerpt: Lance wakes up from the dream he’d been having, something about home. He can still feel the sand under his feet and the breeze on his face. He lies there for a moment, relishing in it. But then he has to get up. He doesn’t like spending too much time alone in his room, it makes him even more homesick. And the fact that the Blade of Marmora are coming today to discuss their plans, that just makes him jittery.

He’d been anxious since yesterday evening, when Coran told them after training that the BOM would be arriving soon. His brain would only produce one thought: Keith will be with them.

Keith, the boy Lance had unwittingly fallen in love with. Who he hasn’t seen in over two months. Who he’s desperate to see again. Honestly, Lance doesn’t know when the feelings crept in on him. But, when Keith announced that he was leaving, to go do something ‘useful,’ Lance’s chest ached. He put on a happy face and wished him well, but it killed him to watch Keith leave. He couldn’t tell him right then and there, with the whole crew around. But, if he can catch Keith alone, he’s going to tell him.

Read it on ao3 or

That the BOM is bullshit. A reckless, stupid group of tall purple assholes who don’t care about him. Well, he won’t go that far. But, that he belongs in the castle with a warm bed. With the team. With Lance. And once again, he won’t go that far. He’s too afraid of rejection. He doesn’t need Keith to spontaneously fall in love with him, he just needs his company. That’s enough.

Lance is pulling on his armor, not that he needs it. Except maybe to protect his heart. But hell, it doesn’t work like that. And he’s practicing his little speech again. His reasons that Keith should return to the Castle of Lions for good. He gives himself a look over in the mirror. His eyes have faint circles under them and his hair looks a little too much like bedhead. He runs his fingers through it and decides he looks fine. Then he exits his room.

--

He’s the first one to the meeting room, surprisingly. He looks around before taking a seat, drumming his fingers on the table top. One by one, the other paladins trickle in, each one shocked that Lance beat them to the room. He ignores their jokes about how he usually sleeps late and misses half the meeting.

And then, the Blade members file in, Coran leading them. They all have their masks on still, but Lance can pick out the one he needs to talk to. The smallest Blade, standing near the back with his arms crossed. Then he realizes that they aren’t crossed. Keith has a sling around one arm and his free hand grips his shoulder. His panic alarm goes off and it takes everything in his being to stop himself from rushing to the other to check on him.

--

He survives the meeting. Switching between paying attention to Shiro and staring at Keith, who had let his mask down. Now everyone’s chatting over one another, just sort of catching up on past missions. Now’s his chance.

Lance stands from his chair and crosses the floor towards Keith, who has a pained expression. “Hey buddy,” Lance starts.

“Hey,” Keith smiles. It’s wobbly though.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, eyeing his arm. “What happened?”

Keith’s eyes flash to the other Blade members, across the room. “I think my shoulder got knocked out of place.” Lance’s eyes widen and he winces.

“Ouch.” he says, grimacing at the thought. It had happened to him once as a child. In a pool of all places. He’d cried for days. “How’d it happen?”

“I don’t know.” Keith sighs. “I wasn’t paying attention. And someone grabbed my arm and yanked me around. Then, they threw me at a wall.”

It’s because I didn’t have your back, Lance’s brain butts in. He shakes the thought away. “Why didn’t you jump in a pod and get all fixed up?”

“We don’t, uh, really have cryopods.” Keith admits.

“Oh… Well, we do! Come on, I’ll throw you in a pod for a little bit.” Lance offers.

Keith snorts, “yeah, you’d lock me in or something.”

“No. I promise.” Lance says. Keith doesn’t change his mind. “Please?” Lance pleads. Keith’s eyes soften and he nods.

“Okay.”

--

Lance leads him to the med bay, and they make small talk on the way. Talking about the food on the BOM ships, which sounds neither better nor worse than the food goo at the Castle. The weather on planet’s they’ve been to. Anything trivial, that doesn’t involve serious feelings and emotions. And once they reach the pods, Keith steps behind a curtain to strip from his BOM gear and change into a pod suit.

Then, he steps into the pod. He situates himself, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath in, then out. Lance smiles, at least Keith hasn’t forgotten how to get into a cryopod, and then he presses a couple buttons. The pod closes with a mechanical ‘fsshh,’ and Keith’s vitals flash on the screen. Lance can’t read Altean, but the red symbols seem to speak for themselves. Keith’s not in great shape.

Lance decides that when the pod opens, in approximately half an hour, he’ll still be there. And he’ll tell Keith then.

--

He had been calm and collected the entire time, watching the timer tick down and looking at Keith, who is probably getting more rest in thirty minutes than he has in the past couple months. That’s another reason he should come back. Lance runs over his argument again. He’d practiced it in his mirror dozens of times. Lance sighs and starts drumming his fingers against the armor on his forearm.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap.

Lance is snapped back to reality when pod hisses open and Keith starts to fall out. Lance rushes to him and catches him.

“Oh, crap.” Keith groans. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You got it?” Lance asks, holding the other up.

“Yep,” Keith says. Lance releases him.

“How’s the arm?”

“A thousand times better.” Keith says, rolling his shoulder.

“I’m glad.” Lance replies.

“Thank you. Uh, Lance?” Keith asks. His breath catches in his throat, he savors the sound of his name.

“Yeah?”

“Can you sit with me for a minute?” Keith asks. His voice is soft and unsure.

“Yeah,” Lance answers. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting and Keith joins him on his right side. Keith leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes.

“Going to sleep?” Lance asks with a smile.

“I wish.” Keith sighs. “How’ve you all been? Is anything new?” He looks at Lance expectantly.

“I, we’re all good I guess.” Lance says.

“Been on any good missions lately?” Keith asks with a small smile. No mission is a good mission, Keith knows that.

But regardless, Lance tells him about his last assignment. A reconnaissance mission on Planet Frehal, where everything was far too dark. Neither of the planet’s two suns were out and the only light sources was the orange glowing of streetlamps. Even the people seemed to be gloomy. Lance had spent almost two days there, finding out what he could about the positions of galra squadrons.

He’d been so thankful to return to the castle ship. Sleeping in a lion’s head on a strange planet alone… well it didn’t sit well with him. Especially with how Shiro’s been acting recently. Like a galra general or something. Snapping and constantly putting the team down. Lance misses when Keith was their leader, he took a while to figure it out, but at least he wasn’t a jerk.

So, tell him that, Lance thinks to himself, watching Keith stretch his arms over his head.

“Sounds like a rough time,” Keith says.

“Not as rough as you’re having,” Lance slips.

“What do you mean?” Keith asks defensively. Lance shakes his head.

“Nothing.” Lance says, shaking his head. He’s not ready for this.

“Well, I guess I’d better get changed.” Keith says, rising to his feet. He extends a hand to Lance and pulls him up. Then he disappears behind the screen. It’s now or never. Plus, it’s not as scary since he can’t see Keith’s face.

“Hey, Keith.” Lance starts, twiddling his thumbs to try and calm his nerves. “Maybe you shouldn’t go.”

“I’ve got to,” Keith says, tossing the pod suit over the room divider. “I don’t know how long Kolivan’s planning to stay. I don’t want to get left behind.”

“That’s what I’m saying. You don’t have to go back with the Blade. You could stay here.” Lance says softly. Behind the screen falls silence. No rustling of clothing or anything, just breathing.

“What do mean I should stay here?” Keith finally asks.

“Well, I mean, we all miss you. And your bedroom’s still empty.” Lance offers with a laugh.

“Don’t you remember the reason I left? I’m doing anything here. I’m just an extra person on the ship. And I can’t do anything without Red! The Blade needs me! I actually matter over there. We go on missions and I’m part of a team! If I came back here, I’d be useless!” Keith says, voice rising from its normal volume to full on shouting.

“I’d rather you feel useless than be dead, Keith!” Lance shouts back. Keith’s eyes widen and Lance continues.

“They don’t care about you. You’re barely a part of their team. If you end up dead, that’s just part of the motto! And I know you think you have to somehow make up for being half-galra by letting the BOM treat you like crap, but it’s bullshit! You deserve to be worried about, Keith. And we actually care whether or not you wake up tomorrow. We love you.” Lance is visibly shaking with nerves by the time he rests his case.

He’d forgotten most of his prepared argument, but it leaves Keith speechless. He opens his mouth a couple times, but nothing comes out. Then about the time Lance thinks he’s come up with something to say, he pushes past Lance and hurriedly exits the room, leaving him in the med bay alone.

--

The Blade of Marmora is set to leave any minute. The rest of the team is probably saying their goodbyes right now. But Lance isn’t among them.

Instead, he’s holed up in his room, imagining a different endings to his conversation with Keith. One where he confesses. One where Keith stays. One where he at least says goodbye. But the other had stormed off and now all of those possibilities are gone.

Lance doesn’t want their last exchange to have been a fight. But he doesn’t know what else to do. He’d tried. And failed. He tried to give Keith a reason to stay and ended up making an ass of himself.

He sighs and rolls over onto his side. He’ll just have to get over it.

But over Keith? God, that’s a different story. He’s been trying since the feeling appeared. And knowing that Keith is leaving again. And that this time, he’s angry with Lance, hurts all the worse. He’s on the verge on tears, but they won’t fall. Maybe later on, when it hits him that Keith is gone.

--

He ends up falling asleep and only wakes when there’s a knock at the door. He blinks and realizes where he is, then checks the time on the clocking setting on his nightstand. It’s time for dinner. Hunk must’ve come to wake up so he can eat.

“Hey, Hunk. Thanks man, but I’m not really hungry,” he lies, before rolling over onto his back.

“Uh, Lance, it’s me,” Keith’s voice replies from behind the door. Lance’s eyes widen. “Can I come in?” Holy shit. He dives off the bed and hurriedly tidies up the room before he presses the door panel. The door slides open and Keith is there, holding a tray with two plates.

“I brought you some supper,” he says. Lance steps out of the way and Keith sets it on the desk.

“I… Why are you? I thought you left?” Lance stumbles over his words, but finally manages to string together a sentence. Keith sighs.

“I did,” he says.

“So, why did you—”

“Because of what you said,” Keith answers. “You were right.”

“Heh, you’ve never said that before,” Lance says with an awkward laugh. Keith laughs dryly and looks into Lance’s eyes.

“They, the Blade, doesn’t care about me. But you do.” Keith pauses, smiling softly. Then his eyes widen and he backpedals. “I, I mean, the team does, right?” Keith asks. Lance swallows. If Keith only knew. Hell, maybe he’s about to.

“Yeah, I do,” Lance answers, “we’re friends remember?”

“Yeah,” Keith starts, clicking his tongue. “I decided to come back. For good.”

“You have?” Lance smiles. “That’s great. I’m glad.”

“I kinda wanna say something though, if you don’t mind,” Keith says, waiting for Lance’s approval.

“What is it?” Lance asks. He watches Keith wrestle with something in his head and finally the other boy opens his mouth.

“I like you,” he declares. Keith’s face starts to turn red and Lance’s heart stops momentarily, and sputters back to life. And when it does, he doesn’t know what to say.

“You. You what? You like— you like me?” Lance asks. Keith nods.

“Yeah! I do. And I’ve liked you for… a long time and I thought maybe you liked me back,” Keith says. Then he gives Lance a once over. He groans and puts his head in his hands. “Oh God. I’ve freaked you out. Holy shit,” Keith stands to move towards an exit, any exit. Lance stops him with a hand.

“No, no, no. I, oh. Yeah. Jesus. Wow. I, I need to sit down.” Lance says, dropping to sit on the edge of his bed. His brain is literally gone. It must’ve joined his heart somewhere warm and fluffy. He can’t believe this. He was supposed to be the one confessing. He’s never been confessed to and it’s taking a toll on his nerves.

“I guess I’ll catch the first shuttle back to the BOM headquarters.” Keith says, nervous laughter taking him over. Lance can’t think of a single thing to say. He’s absolutely speechless. Unable to find words. Fuck, he can’t even think of a dumb joke to break the tension. He pats the bed and Keith cautiously moves to sit down, facing him. They stay that way for a moment.

“How long?” Lance finally manages.

“What? How long have I liked you?” Keith asks. Lance nods, shifting his gaze to the other. Keith thinks for a few seconds and comes up with the answer. “Since… the day that Sendak and his crew got into the Castle and you got hurt.”

“Since the bonding moment?!” Lance exclaims, reflexively doing air quotes around the phrase.

“Don’t do the air quoting! It happened!” Keith says defensively.

“I know it did.” Lance admits with a sigh. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Lance asks, in a much calmer tone.

“I thought you were straight. And then, I left to join the Blade and you came out. And I realized I might have a chance with you, but I didn’t want to… I don’t know why.” Keith answers.

“I do, like you too.” Lance says. Keith’s face brightens.

“You do?” he asks, looking into his eyes for confirmation.

“Yeah. That’s what I was trying to get to earlier in the med bay. But then, you flipped out and left. So…” Lance says.

“You were gonna tell me?” Keith asks.

“Yeah,” Lance says. Keith laughs.

“God, I’m so stupid. I was alone and miserable for months all because I was too stubborn to admit that I liked you.”

“Better late than never?” Lance suggests.

“Definitely.” Keith nods, smiling.

“So, you’re really back?” Lance asks.

“I promise. But I don’t want to be a loner anymore,” Keith says, trailing off.

“You won’t be. I promise I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore.” Lance says, leaning forward to pull Keith in for a hug. The other boy gasps and freezes, before wrapping his arms around Lance.

“Does this mean we’re boyfriends now? Or… I don’t know how this works.” Keith says, muffled against Lance’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Lance laughs. “I think that’s how this goes.”

--

They spend the rest of the evening in Lance’s room. After they eat their long-cold dinners, they start to get to know each other. They end up laying on their stomachs across the bed, talking about Lance’s family. Keith eats it up.

Lance tells the story about his sister falling off a pier when they were kids. And about his mother’s cooking. Keith talks about his year in the desert, which sounds ridiculously unbearable.

“How did you survive? Like it didn’t seem like you even had any food there,” Lance asks. Keith laughs.

“Well, uh, half the time, I’d sort of take food from the Garrison. And the other half, I’d go to like, McDonald’s. God, I miss fast food.” Keith admits with a sigh. Lance laughs.

“Same.” he says, thinking about greasy cheeseburgers and warm salty fries. Both of them seem to clam up thinking of all the things they miss from Earth. Then, they fall into a comfortable silence. Until Keith clears his throat.

“So,” Keith starts, “you remembered the bonding moment.”

“Oh, God.” Lance laughs. “Yeah. I did.”

“So you were just fucking with me?” Keith asks.

“A little. And I kind of figured that it meant more to me than it should’ve.” Lance says, remembering the way Keith held his hand. The totally romantic ‘we are a good team’ line. Keith scoffs.

“I held you in my arms. Then I carried you to the pods and sat there all night.” Keith says.

“You did?” Lance asks.

Keith nods, “yep. I mean, after Coran said it’d take like twelve hours to fix you up, everyone else kind of went to do their thing. And I just… felt like someone should be there.”

“You’re so precious.” Lance laughs, pressing a soft kiss on Keith’s cheek. Keith stiffens for a few seconds, then returns the chaste kiss. Lance could get used to this.

And he really, really wants to.

[klancin-with-myself]

Enough - Shance Fluff

Read here or on AO3.

Shiro’s eyes tracked Lance, as they always did, as he danced across the training deck, weaving and dodging around Keith’s and Pidge’s relentless assaults. The three of them sparred with long training staves, the loud crack of them connecting with one another interspersed only occasionally with the softer thud of them slapping against an exposed thigh or across the backs of shoulders. Pidge and Keith swung at Lance in tandem, and Shiro sucked in a soft breath as Lance bent himself in half and slipped between them like he was doing the limbo, his lips set in a thin line of concentration. He planted the butt of his staff against the ground and shoved away as Keith whipped his own stave around in a counter attack. The end of Keith’s stave barely missed Lance’s chest, but it was a miss nonetheless. Shiro watched Keith’s brow crinkle, though he didn’t have a chance to dwell on the failed attack, because Lance was advancing on the both of them, twirling his stave like he was in colour guard.

Keith brought his stave up and blocked the attacks while Pidge attempted to jab at Lance’s legs. So quickly that Shiro’s eyes couldn’t quite process it, Lance delivered two strong hits to Keith’s stave and then cracked down on the top of Pidge’s, then whirled and hit the bottom of it and pushed, forcing her to spin it upward. He brought his stave down and swept her feet out from under her, then brought it across her chest so that she stumbled against Keith. Keith maintained his balance, but just barely. As he fought to stay upright, he wrapped an arm around Pidge and took a step back, eyes going wide when he felt his ankle collide with Lance’s stave, which was poised to knock his feet from beneath him.

Shiro exhaled a soft breath he’d been holding and he felt his chest swell and grow tight. At first, Lance retained a stoic expression, and then his character fell into an easy grin. He stepped forward and held Keith steady while Pidge righted herself, scowling. Lance grasped Keith’s arm, and his eyes crinkled up as his grin widened. Keith smirked back at him, returning the friendly grip.

“You’re a quick learner with these staffs,” he said. Lance shrugged, but the smile didn’t leave his face. 

“I guess since my bayard took this shape, it’s come to me a little easier. It’s nice to have something more hand-to-hand so I can actually be useful in a fight,” he said, patting the blue bayard by his side. 

You could never see a day of combat and you’d still be so invaluable, Shiro thought to himself. 

“About time,” Keith joked. Shiro knew it was spoken completely in jest, that Keith knew exactly how important Lance was to the team, but when he saw the corner of Lance’s mouth twitch so minutely, he wanted to pull him away and shower him in every kind truth the boy deserved. 

But he wasn’t really a boy anymore. They’d been in space for approximately two years now, give or take some months. It was difficult to keep track of Earth time in deep space, probably trillions and quadrillions of light years away from their home. Lance was probably twenty two, if Pidge’s Earth calendar was even somewhat accurate. He’d grown taller and broader, his musculature lean but strong. His blue eyes still shone with mirth, but layers of the shit they’d all seen left a haze sometimes. Shiro wanted nothing but kind truths and a gentle, quiet life for Lance, but that wasn’t in their cards. 

And somehow falling in love was? 

At least, it was one of Shiro’s cards. A colourful tarot card with Lance’s face on it, holding a bow in one hand and a knife in the other, fell into his palm maybe a year ago. He held onto it, barely able to comprehend what it meant, until he looked up and saw Lance. Lance, pestering Pidge as she worked on a new upgrade for the Green lion. Lance, sprawled on the couch with Hunk and talking about their time in the garrison. Lance, brushing out Allura’s hair and humming a song to himself. Lance, laying down lightning fast cover fire to keep Keith safe as he hacked away at enemy sentries. Lance, head bent and frown in place as he and Coran worked out their next plan of attack.

And he’s absolutely one of the most beautiful people Shiro has ever seen, on top of everything else. What chance did Shiro ever have, anyway?

Was it inappropriate? Sure. Shiro was a leader, the head of Voltron. For all intents and purposes, a commanding officer, despite not being that much older than Lance. But Shiro was nothing if not good at learning, and one constant lesson that kept cropping up no matter where they were in the galaxy was that when love presented itself, one should seize it and hold fast. 

So as Keith and Pidge made their way to the weapon racks to put their staves back, Shiro crossed the room, grabbing a fresh water bottle and towel and approached Lance. He was leaning on his stave, staring at nothing. Shiro tossed the towel at him. Lance startled, but his reflexes were quick, and he caught the towel before it hit the floor. He blinked up at Shiro, and his face relaxed into a small smile.

“That was amazing to watch, Lance. You were incredible,” Shiro complimented.

Lance inhaled sharply, his eyes careful and his lips quirking into the barest of smiles. 

“Oh, thanks Shiro.” He took the water bottle that Shiro offered, uncapping it and taking several long drinks from it. He brought the bottle away from his lips with a smack, dragging the back of his hand across his mouth. “Did you want to spar?” Lance offered, raising one eyebrow slightly. Shiro wondered why he’d ask like that, like he was confused about something, but then he realised that he probably was staring at Lance with a rather stupid look on his face. He blinked and shook his head. 

“Oh! No, I just got done hand to hand with Hunk and he really didn’t go easy on me,” he chuckled. Lance smiled at him.

“Okay. Well, I’m going to go wash up,” he said. The smile on his face fell a little, and Shiro tipped his head to the side almost imperceptibly. But Lance had started walking away from him already, his long legs carrying him away from Shiro quickly. 

“Maybe tomorrow, Lance?” Shiro called, taking a step toward him. Lance paused, twisting around and looking back at Shiro. “Maybe you could show me some, uh, techniques tomorrow?” he asked hopefully. The small half smile graced Lance’s lips again, and he gave a short nod.

“Sure, Shiro.” He gave a little wave with his staff, and then turned away again. Shiro watched him walk away with more than a little wistfulness in his gaze. This was going to be harder than he thought.

---

The next opportunity Shiro found was a week later. Allura had ordered the Paladins to find each find an activity to do by themselves, that didn’t involve even being in the same room as the others. Her purpose behind this was that everyone needed time to move in and out of their own head and center themselves. She insisted on it, and finally convinced them by assuring them that she and Coran would be doing the same. 

Hunk left to tinker with the training bots, and Pidge cooped herself up in the Green Lion’s hangar. Keith took Red out for a joyride, Coran was in the kitchen, and Allura found a corner of the ship’s small library and curled away there. Lance had waved at his teammates and then wandered off down a corridor, hands stuffed into the pockets of the jacket that somehow still fit, though it didn’t hang so loosely on his frame anymore. Shiro grabbed a datapad and cast a sidelong glance at the blue paladin as he left the commons. He hefted the datapad in his hand, pursing his lips at it once Lance wandered out of sight. He thought about opening the reader Allura helped Pidge develop, so that he could learn Altean. He toyed with the idea of poring over the latest reports from their previous mission. He thought about training. 

“Nope,” he said aloud to himself, tossing the datapad to the couch. He stretched his arms upward and set a course for his bedroom. He left the door open, but turned the lights off. He toed off his boots and swapped out his black clothes for softer, looser fitting lounge clothes. He pressed down the slight feeling of “you should be doing something productive!” and squirmed around beneath the blankets until he was completely comfortable. He allowed himself a quiet, happy sigh before he threw an arm over his eyes and committed himself properly to a nap. 

He had no nightmares.

He was grateful for it, but there were also no pleasant dreams, either, which meant that when he woke up, it seemed like only five minutes had elapsed. But there was Hunk in his doorway, hands clean but arms covered in grease and a few small scratches. He leaned against the doorframe, smirking playfully at Shiro. 

“Comfy?”

“Mmm,” Shiro mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. His voice was rough from sleep, and he arched his back, satisfied that it didn’t pop or creak. “-time is it?”

“Almost dinner time,” Hunk answered with a shrug. He ignored Shiro’s sleepy grin - there were no clocks in space, ticking the time by in increments of twelve. Asking for the time had become something of an inside joke between them, and a way to remember that Earth was still a part of them. “Everyone is back except you and Lance. I found you first, but...”

“But what?”

“Coran is cooking and I just don’t trust him in my kitchen, man,” Hunk sighed, crossing his arms. Shiro chuckled and threw back the blankets, suppressing a shiver at the lack of warmth. He didn’t really want to leave his bed, which was rather comfortable despite its stark appearance, but the thought of seeing Lance spurred him into action. 

“Go take care of Coran, I’ll find Lance.” He stuffed his feet into his slippers, the Black Lion ones that Lance had found and insisted that he wear. He wished Hunk luck in the kitchen and wandered off to search for Lance. Logically, he made his way to Lance’s room, but found it empty. The bedsheets were rumpled and on it lay his signature green jacket, his jeans, socks, and shirt. So he was running around naked somewhere. Great. Shiro cleared his throat with a little cough and turned away from Lance’s room, making his way down to the Blue Lion’s hangar. Blue stood tall and proud, still and cold. Shiro concentrated on his connection to his own lion - he’d discovered that, due to his bond with Black, as the leader of the lions, he was able to sense, to some small degree, the other lions as well. Red was still rumbling happily from her recent outing with Keith, but Green, Yellow, and Blue were silent. Lance hadn’t been through to see her this afternoon.

Shiro left the hangar and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his lounge pants, wandering up the corridors of the castleship at random until he found himself at the observatory. He stepped into the room and looked around, and sure enough, found Lance. The blue paladin had earbuds in his ears and was dressed in all black yoga clothes - a tank top and black cropped pants that stopped just below his knees. Tight black pants, Shiro noted, swallowing. Tight and stretchy looking. Well. He was about to say something, see if he could avoid startling Lance too badly while still getting his attention, but Lance folded his legs and sunk to the floor, his back to Shiro. He laid down on his back with his arms flat on the ground, and then brought his legs straight up in the air. He held them here for a breath or two, then slowly eased them down over his face, lifting his back from the ground, keeping his legs straight and resting all of his weight on his shoulders. Shiro’s eyes widened as he watched Lance lower his feet to the floor behind his head. Shiro covered his mouth with his hand, feeling both awe over this incredible skill and embarrassment for the slew of less than appropriate thoughts that stumbled across his mind. Lance held the pose for one minute, then two, and was approaching three minutes when he finally lowered his legs, slowly, back down to the floor, where he remained still for several minutes after.

He finally sat up, dislodging the buds from his ears and twisting his neck from side to side. Shiro watched him shake himself out, sitting cross legged on the floor. He smiled a little, and then stepped further into the room.

“Lance, there you are!” 

The blue paladin turned his head around quickly, his eyes going wide. His bangs stuck a little to his forehead, which was beaded with a fine layer of sweat. “Shiro!” he said, his voice soft with surprise. “How long have you been there?”

“I just got here,” Shiro lied smoothly. He didn’t make a habit of lying to his team, but he really didn’t want to embarrass Lance by telling him that he’d been staring at him while he bent himself into impossible contortions. “Hunk sent me to say dinner’s about ready.” This mollified Lance, who twisted to his feet easily, as if he hadn’t just been pretzeled up in a position Shiro didn’t think a human body could physically attain. Lance left his yoga mat where it was and padded over to Shiro, barefoot. Feeling bold, Shiro extended his elbow to Lance with a grin. 

“Hunk sent me an escort? Aw, he’s fond of me after all,” Lance joked. Shiro winked at him.

“Like a personal valet,” he said. Lance chuckled quietly to himself and bumped Shiro’s elbow playfully with his own, instead of taking his arm. Shiro dropped his arm to his side and hid his slight disappointment by asking Lance how his personal yoga time had gone.

Damn.

---

The marketplace of the planet Juuyu was a vast, colourful series of stores, stalls, booths, and carts. The winding streets were paved with the planet’s trademark glittering stones, shimmering and iridescent in the early evening light. People from innumerable planets milled about the market streets, haggling and bartering and hocking their wares. The planet was a crossroads, a peaceful meeting point for a half dozen galaxies and hundreds of different planets. Long ago, when the lions had first emerged from King Alfor’s lab, they and their original paladins had rescued Juuyu from a fleet of pirates that had been laying siege to the planet for several decades. The denizens of Juuyu, which included several merchant princes from the neighbouring planet of Kentar, were endlessly grateful to the paladins for their rescue. Statues of the lions were erected all over the planet, guardians and reminders of the great deeds they accomplished. Native Juuyan people typically lived extraordinarily long lives, and many remembered the events of those three days well enough to continue telling the tale of the lions of Voltron. 

When the lions returned at the behest of Coran, a chaos broke out across the planet. The oldest of the Juuyans wept at the sight of their saviours returning to them once more, and every other person, whether native or a visiting merchant, gaped in reverence and awe as their planet’s greatest legends landed near the King’s palace. The paladins were quite used to gratitude and respect at this point in their careers, but the level of deference and veneration they received from these citizens, especially the elders, floored them. Hunk wiped tears from his eyes as one of the elder Juuyans fell to her knees, weeping and clutching a pendant around her neck that looked suspiciously like a yellow lion, with the most serene smile on her face. Their lions, for their part, roared proudly in unison and then settled down onto their bellies, resting comfortably and completely at ease, which was something they never did outside of their hangars. The paladins had barely begun making their way to the King’s palace when the Juuyans began placing flowers by the enormous paws of the lions, some even being so bold as to place their hands upon the cool metal reverently and gazing up at them, tears in their eyes and words of praise and thanks on their lips. Shiro could hear the happy rumblings from each of the lions in the back of his mind, and though he was surprised how comfortable the lions were here, he had a feeling that they needn’t worry over their lions on this planet. 

They were greeted by the King at the doors to the palace, who dropped to his knees before them and gazed at them with the same peaceful adoration that the rest of his citizens did. They were treated as gods, as well as Allura and Coran. The King insisted on showing the paladins to their quarters himself, all the while sharing with them the story of how the lions had prevailed over the pirates and saved Juuyu, its citizens, and their livelihood so many thousands of years ago. The apartments, which took up the entire east wing of the palace, had been built specifically for the paladins, who had apparently returned several times to maintain a relationship with Juuyu. The apartments were lavishly decorated and maintained through these last ten thousand years - there was not a speck of dust to be seen, the tapestries were vibrant and free of rot, and there were fresh flowers in every vase they came across. Lion statues and accents of red, green, blue, yellow, and black were everywhere, tasteful and elegant and opulent. 

They were into their third day on the planet, and Shiro was on a mission. He’d heard from one of the servants in the palace that a restaurant had opened in the marketplace, run by a Kentaran shapeshifter that had been to Earth seventy odd years ago. He had brought back a few recipes that were wildly popular here. She said that the food was adjusted a little to better suit the palates of the citizens and visitors, but that he had tried to keep it as natural to Earth as he could. Thanking her profusely, Shiro quickly left the palace and made his way to the marketplace. 

He found the building, which didn’t look at all like it served anything from Earth, but he entered it and requested a menu from the flabbergasted and pleased server. Helpful little hand-drawn pictures accompanied every item, and Shiro studied the menu for nearly fifteen minutes. It was an expansive menu, and contained dishes from twenty-two different countries on Earth. He pulled out his phone, or the space equivalent of a phone, and began to compile a list of everything he was going to order. He couldn’t leave this building without taking back massive quantities of Earth food with him for his team. Food goo had gotten old a very long time ago. He ordered sushi, fried cakes, fruit pastries, pizza, lo mein and vegetables, shrimp-esque pasta, several pints of ice cream, odd looking square hot dogs, cheeseburgers, and several burritos. And then his eyes fell upon one dish on the menu, and a grin spread across his face. He ordered two bowls, and graciously accepted the help carrying it all back to his friends. 

He found Hunk, Keith, and Pidge first. Keith and Pidge were napping in front of a projection-movie of the Legend of the Lions. He opened a pizza under Keith’s nose - it had been his absolute favourite back home, and it didn’t take long for him to breathe deeply with a serene smile on his face and then sit bolt upright, startling Pidge from her slumber. The red paladin stared around with wide eyes, and then scrambled for the pizza, demanding to know where Shiro had acquired it. Pidge clamored after him, a wide grin on her face, reaching for a slice with twitching fingers. 

“Oh my god I love you so much,” she mumbled, her mouth full of cheese pizza and grease. Shiro chuckled, raising an eyebrow as Keith set two pieces on top of one another and then crammed half of it into his mouth at once. 

“Lance is rubbing off on you,” he mused. Keith narrowed his eyes at him with a look that very clearly said ‘I would flip you off right now but you’re a bringer of pizza and I can’t possibly be bothered with anything but a food coma right now’. Or at least that’s how Shiro read it. Maybe Lance was rubbing off on him, too. 

Soon, maybe.

Clearing his throat, he indicated that he was going to find Hunk and Lance and bring them in. Keith and Pidge both made muffled noises of consent, entirely too busy with the pizza to even notice the rest of the food on the table, let alone Shiro backing out of the room with a bag in his hand. 

He called Hunk, as the yellow paladin was nowhere to be found in the palace. 

“What’s up, Shiro?” he answered.

“I found a restaurant that serves Earth food and bought half their stock. It’s in the media room with Keith and Pidge. They’re digging into the pizza now and -”

“Did you say pizza?” Hunk asked seriously, his voice calm and tight. Shiro laughed.

“There’s sushi and pasta and burritos, too,” he said. There was a long pause, during which Shiro couldn’t hear anything, not even breathing.

“I love you, Shiro.”

“Hunk?” But there was radio silence on the other end, and when he looked at his space phone, the screen had gone dark again. Smiling to himself, he readjusted the bag in his hand and made his way to Lance’s room. 

The blue paladin had been, well, a little blue lately, and Shiro hoped that this surprise would cheer him up. He knocked on the door and stood quietly, though his mind was anything but patient. He had to physically restrain himself from rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet like a child waiting in line for a ride at their favourite theme park. A moment passed, and the door opened, revealing Lance, wearing a blue and gold silk robe and grey lounge pants. 

“Oh, hey Shiro,” he greeted, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “What’s up?” Shiro lifted the bag up.

“I have a surprise for you. Can I come in? Or we could go somewhere else?” he suggested. 

“We’re both already here,” Lance said, shrugging and stepping aside to let Shiro in. “And now that you said you have a surprise for me, I really need to know what it is.” He followed behind Shiro, peering at the bag. “Am I going to like it?” Shiro laughed.

“I hope so. I couldn’t believe my luck when I found it.” He set the bag down on a round, gilded table with three tall chairs around it. He pulled two tubular containers and lightweight wooden utensils from the bag and set them down on the table. The tubes of food had a flattened bottom so they sat on the table without rolling. Shiro grabbed one and popped the clips on the sides open and removed the lid, setting it aside. He placed the tube in front of Lance, slid him a fork, and said nothing.

Within the tube was a meal of rice and beans, interspersed with what looked like red peppers and onions. The rice was dark, but Shiro knew enough about the dish from Lance’s description to know that it was white rice stained by the black bean juice. It was aromatic and quickly filled the room. He glanced up at Lance; his eyes were wide and his mouth hung open slightly. He gripped the edge of the table and fell into one of the chairs, leaning forward before reaching out and grasping each end of the tube. 

“Where did you find this?” he asked, his voice wavering as he kept his eyes fixed on the meal in front of him. 

“One of the people in the palace told me about a restaurant that served Earth food, thought we’d like to check it out. I bought a ton of food; most of it is with Pidge, Keith, and Hunk, but I brought this specifically for you. I figured-”

“I haven’t had congri since before I left home for the Garrison,” Lance whispered. 

Shiro seated himself in the chair opposite Lance, resting his forearms on the table and picking at the cuticles on his left hand. “I was surprised to find it on the menu, and I remembered how fondly you spoke of it. I figured I’d bring it to you first before we went for the other food, in case you have to hide your disappointment if it’s terrible,” he said lightly. Lance looked up at him, his eyes wide and a little shiny.

“How could this possibly be terrible? I didn’t think I’d ever have this again,” he said, blinking rapidly. He ducked his head and grabbed up a fork, scooping some up and slowly, almost cautiously, bringing it to his mouth. After a few chews, his face split into a smile and he quickly rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his free hand. He swallowed, laughing and gasping for breath simultaneously. He quickly shoveled another two bites into his mouth, and he didn’t stop the next tears from slipped down his face. Shiro stared at him the whole time, content and happy knowing that he’d done something good for someone who deserved it and so much more. He watched every emotion flicker over Lance’s face. He recognized homesickness, having seen it in every person he’d been living with for the last two years. He saw melancholy, happiness, bittersweet memories for people who were probably mourning him. They all melted so seamlessly into one another, and they all came crashing around Shiro when Lance looked up at him and held his gaze. The air around them felt still and Shiro held his breath until Lance smiled at him again.

“How is it?” he asked quietly. Maybe it was a loaded question, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything else he could possibly say (because ‘dear god I love you more in this moment than I have ever loved anything’ didn’t seem appropriate). 

“It’s - it’s perfect. It’s a little different, like, it’s got this strange kind of papery texture to it at first, but I figure that’s just alien food for you, but it reminds me so much of mama’s homemade congri.” Lance jammed the fork into the rice and took another large bite, chewing quickly and swallowing. “I remember washing and cooking the beans with her when I was a kid, and then having to wait another half an hour after that until the rice was done cooking. It was torture for a six year old but it was so worth it and I-” he broke off his rambling, swiping his tears away again. “It’s nice to remember.”

Shiro sighed happily, hoping that he didn’t sound too dopey. He pushed the second tube of congri toward Lance with two fingers.

“Well, I brought a second serving of it. I’ve seen how you can pack food away. God only knows where you put it,” he joked, rolling his eyes. Lance laughed, loud and from his belly - Shiro hadn’t heard that laugh from him in a while, and he may have heaved another sappy sigh, but he wasn’t counting. 

“No, you eat it. Congri this good should be shared.” He nudged the tube back toward Shiro. He opened the container and picked up the wooden fork, taking his first bite of congri. Lance was right about the papery texture, but it didn’t take away from the flavour of the dish at all. Lance watched him knowingly. “Good, right?”

“It’s very good,” Shiro answered truthfully. He took another bite as Lance nodded sagely. 

They ate their meals in silence, punctuated only at first by a few sniffles from Lance. Shiro kept his eyes on Lance when he thought he could get away with it, when Lance was engrossed in his food and his mind was a hundred galaxies away. Lance finished first, setting his fork in the tube and holding onto the ends of it. 

“Thank you, Shiro,” he said quietly. Shiro was finishing the last bite of his food, bringing a napkin to his mouth and wiping at the corners of his lips. “I can’t... I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“Then I’m happy.”

Even if you are super dense.

---

A few weeks later, the lions all but limped into their hangars after a particularly hairy fight with a fleet of Galra ships, preceded by a vicious fight on a Galra infested planet. The paladins met briefly in the commons of the castleship, just to touch base with one another and Allura and Coran before turning in for a well deserved sleep. 

Shiro waited until everyone else had left the room before he took his leave as well, padding down the hallway that would lead to Lance’s room. He was sweaty, sore, bleeding, and gross, but he knew he needed to catch the blue paladin before he hopped into the shower and passed out face first in his bed. He approached the door to Lance’s room and knocked twice, holding his helmet in his hands, rubbing his thumb against the base of it. 

“Come in!” Lance’s muffled voice called out. The door slid open, revealing Lance only half dressed in his armour. He had taken off his breastplate and gloves, revealing the tight fitting black flight suit beneath. Shiro swallowed, hopefully inaudibly, at the sight of Lance’s broad shoulders and toned, lean waist. He looked up toward the door and offered Shiro a small, exhausted smile. 

“Hey, chief,” he greeted. “Long time no see.” Shiro chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I just wanted to say, before you went to bed, that I, um, we, really counted on you back there, and you came through for us. We would have been done for without you,” he said. Lance smiled, faintly, and bent back over to remove his greaves and boots. 

“Oh, thanks, I guess,” he said, somewhat bashfully. Shiro shook his head, taking another step into Lance’s room. 

“I mean it. You provided rapid, consistent cover fire that allowed Pidge and Keith to get out of dodge, and then stayed behind to make sure the sentries couldn’t launch from their loading bay to come after us. We wouldn’t have made it out of there in one piece if it hadn’t been for you,” he said earnestly, as sincerely as he could. None of it was an exaggeration, of course; Lance had used every bit of his agility and decisive thinking to formulate the best tactics to get the team out of there safely. It was his own creative brilliance shining through, along with time spent with Coran going over ancient Altean military strategies. Shiro had been on the exterior of a building when Lance had begun barking orders through the comms, indicating when Keith and Pidge should move and which paths had already been cleared for them. Listening to the unwavering, hard edge Lance’s voice had adopted had, at the time, filled him with pride. Thinking back on them now, they sent bolts of arousal down Shiro’s body. 

“I guess?” Lance set his armour in the storage pod in his room, closing the door and activating the castle’s automated care system, which would provide small repairs to the armour and thoroughly clean it. He scratched the back of his head, staring at the pod instead of looking at Shiro. “I mean, I didn’t do anything that you or any of the others wouldn’t do, too. I’m just glad you guys made it out of there without breaking any bones.” He turned to Shiro then, a weak grin on his face. “No stints in the healing pods sounds after sounds like a successful mission to me!” 

Shiro kind of wanted to put his own head through a wall. 

---

Maybe I haven’t been romantic enough, Shiro thought to himself. The only problem being that deep space didn’t lend many opportunities for great romantic scenery. The novelty of meteor showers had worn off for them, especially when they had to pilot their lions through one. Sunsets and sunrises only happened on planets with normal suns. The training deck wasn’t exactly the ideal place for a picnic, either. He wished they’d been to a planet with a beach that wasn’t toxic, but they’d had no such luck. Lance had talked on and on about growing up by the beach, sitting with his toes in the sand when the water and wind became too cool for swimming, and Shiro didn’t even have the means for a simple date to a beach.

He paced in his room until he stopped suddenly. He pinched his chin and debated on whether or not this most recent idea was a good one. Placing his trust in this person was risky. She was ruthless, and collected secrets on people like they were pogs. However, the sooner the proverbial scales tipped in his favour, the sooner her dirt on him would lose its power.

He had no choice.

He needed Pidge.

Fortunately, she just rolled her eyes and thanked him for finally busting a move on Lance, as watching him pine away had been borderline physically painful for her. Shiro leveled her with a flat gaze and implied to her that her dance with Keith was also growing stale to watch.

“That’s neither here nor there,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand, though he hadn’t missed the way a flush crept up her neck. “All I have to do is give him a sweet ass knife or something and it’ll be fine. I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“And this is my right moment. Or, I hope it is.” Shiro chewed on his lip. Pidge nudged him with her elbow.

“This is as cheesy and romantic as we can possibly achieve on a castle floating in deep space. Lance loves romance. He’ll trip out of his pants and into your arms in no time, big guy,” she said, wiggling her brows at him. Shiro put his palm on her face and shoved her away as she cackled. 

“I just want him to stop being so thick headed and see that I’m trying to-”

“Woo him? Court him? Bend him over and-”

“Pidge!”

Working to set things up in secret was a nightmare for Shiro. He was using the observatory, which was where Lance liked to practice his yoga. He and Pidge alternated in keeping the blue paladin busy with menial, mind-numbing tasks and lots of kicked puppy looks. Actually setting things up was only troublesome because of the lewd jokes Pidge made every few minutes. She’d point to various control panels and point out how she thought Lance would look splayed out across them. As she tinkered with the projector, she mimed crude gestures with her thumb, forefinger, and a screwdriver. Testing the projector had been even worse - she made shadow puppets of Shiro and Lance, making exaggerated kissing noises. 

“Will you cut that out and turn the damn thing on?” Shiro sighed.

“Sure!” she chirped. Pidge circled around to a spare laptop she’d set up and navigated to the projector program, and then clicked play. “Whoops.”

Shiro watched in horror as two men - two oiled up firefighters - began kissing each other passionately, grinding their hips together and moaning loudly, projected on the wall of the observatory. He whirled around and glared as fiercely as he could at Pidge, who was grinning wickedly. 

“Just a little inspiration,” she said sweetly. 

“I hate you,” he mumbled dispassionately. 

The castleship’s version of evening approached, the lights within dimming just slightly. Shiro glanced up at them, then around the room. It was set up as well as they were going to get it, he supposed. The projector was ready to go, and the right video was queued to play at the press of a button. 

“I don’t think there’s much more to be done, except hope it goes well,” Shiro muttered, carding a hand through his hair. Pidge stepped up next to him, her tool bag packed up again. She wound her arm through his, resting her head against his metal bicep.

“This is perfect, Shiro. Lance is going to be over the moon for it. And if he’s not, then he’s a pod person and we should start looking for the real Lance,” she said reassuringly. Shiro reached across with his other hand and squeezed Pidge’s arm gently. 

“Thanks, Pidge.”

“No problem, Shiro.”

Dinner was as normal an affair as any, even if Shiro felt like he was sweating buckets. Pidge chattered happily with Keith and Hunk. She tried drawing Lance into the conversation as well, but the blue paladin remained quiet, claiming exhaustion from cleaning the healing pods that afternoon. Shiro felt a pang of guilt; Pidge must have seen his somewhat panicked look and gave him a small smile to reassure him. His breath hitched up again when Lance announced his departure, not even halfway through his meal. Shiro gripped his spork tightly as he watched Lance retreat from the kitchen.

“Oh, Shiro, didn’t you want to go over that new training routine with us early tomorrow morning?” Pidge piped up. Keith and Hunk blinked at her, then looked to Shiro expectantly. She lowered her gaze and gave him a pointed look. “The one you read in a book last night - you told me earlier.” Shiro blinked, his mouth forming a soft ‘oh’ of recognition.

“Yeah, that - that’s right. I forgot all about it,” he said quickly. “It’s a technique that focuses on footwork over immediate assault and I think we could all benefit from it. It’s also supposed to improve fine motor skills and enable you to maneuver terrain better,” he fabricated quickly. It didn’t sound like complete bullshit, at least. Keith nodded and Hunk shrugged.

“I’m down for that,” Keith said. “Shouldn’t you have said something when Lance was still in the room, though?” He looked at Pidge. The green paladin shrugged shamelessly.

“Whoops.” Shiro made a show of rolling his eyes. He pushed back from the table, barely having started on his own meal.

“I’ll go tell him.” Before he was dragged back into any conversation, he strode from the room, doing his best to not seem like he was sprinting after Lance. 

He might have to sprint after him, he thought. Where did he get to so quickly? Shiro jogged down the corridor and took a hard left, toward Lance’s room. Christ, he was quick. He was already approaching his door, ready to retreat for the evening.

“Lance, hold up!” he called. Lance paused and turned around, an unreadable expression crossing his face before he relaxed into a small smile. 

“What’s up, Shiro?” he asked, leaning against his door. Shiro jogged up to him lightly, stopping a few feet in front of him.

“Did you, uh, have anything planned for the night?” he asked. Lance shrugged.

“Not really. Was gonna read a little, but nothing I can’t put off if you need help,” he offered. Shiro shook his head.

“No, I don’t need help with anything. There was just something I wanted to show you, if you felt up for a little company for a while,” he said, trying not to sound bashful or nervous. He didn’t think he was doing a very good job. Lance didn’t answer right away; his crossed arms tightened just a little, causing Shiro to take an involuntary step back. He breathed in and then nodded once, and Shiro relaxed a little. He offered Lance his most sincere smile, hoping to put the other man at ease, then motioned for him to follow. Lance walked beside him, half a step behind him. Shiro shortened his pace a little, feeling a little guilty for how tired Lance was if his long legs weren’t keeping pace with Shiro’s own stride. 

Lance remained quiet, and while Shiro was a little concerned by his silence, he didn’t mind not explaining that he was taking Lance on a surprise date. Rather to just let him walk into the observatory and be, as Pidge said, totally blown away and swept up in Shiro’s romance. Shiro’s expectations were a little less gilded than Pidge’s fantasy, but he hoped the sentiment was there, at least. Best case scenario, Lance would fling himself into his arms and they’d cuddle, and maybe kiss, for the rest of the evening. Worst? A firm handshake from Lance as Shiro tore his hair out and started back at square one. Shiro firmly pushed thoughts of the latter from his mind, focusing on what this evening really meant: something nice done for Lance. Whether Lance ever reciprocated his feelings or not, he still deserved kindness and someone to care about him. If he kept trying and failing as he had been, despite Lance’s proclamations at desiring a cliché romance, then he would, happily or not, resign himself to Lance’s platonic gratitude. Lance deserved the world, a glittering, magical, gold-dipped world filled with everything that made him smile and nothing else. He deserved happiness, and if Shiro could give him that, however small the doses out here in space may be, then he would. Always, without fail.

Steeling himself, he pressed open the door to the observatory and motioned for Lance to step inside first. Lance side eyed him with a smile, but stepped inside and glanced around in the darkness. Shiro entered the observatory and made his way to Pidge’s dimly glowing laptop. The lights to the observatory were temporarily controlled by the laptop, thanks to Pidge’s genius, and he slid the bar on the laptop screen up until the lights were glowing at a dim, warm ambiance. Blankets were piled up on the observatory couch, which had been turned to face the far wall. To the couch’s right, the wide, tall windows displayed the black and silvery vastness of space, barely creeping past them as the castleship floated without much direction. A small tray of sweet tea and two cups were positioned on the table near the laptop. The projector was mounted on the ceiling and there were speakers fixed in the corners of the room. Shiro looked up at Lance, who had stalled in the middle of the room and was staring at Shiro with that unreadable expression on his face again. 

“Come on, sit down,” Shiro said, gesturing to the couch. Lance moved around and sat, pulling a blanket around and hugging it to his chest, his feet restless on the ground. 

“What is all this?” he asked quietly, his eyes darting from the pitcher of tea to the laptop to Shiro.

“Just something I thought you’d enjoy,” Shiro answered, pouring two glasses of tea. He pressed a button on the laptop, then stepped around the table, handing one to Lance and settling down beside him. The projector flickered to life, and before the image displayed on the wall, the sounds of a seagull screeched through the speakers. 

Lance startled, glancing around, eyes wide, grasping his glass of tea. A video slowly began to fade into view on the wall in front of them, and Lance’s gaze snapped to it immediately. 

“Oh my god,” he murmured, sitting forward. “Is that-”

“I don’t know if it’s your Varadaro Beach, but it’s a beach,” Shiro said. He took a sip of tea, settling back on the couch to better watch Lance’s reaction. The video looked as though it had been taken on a camera track, like they used at football games. It moved slowly and stopped intermittently, going up and down a white coastline with foamy blue waves crashing upon it. Gulls dipped and screamed in and out of the picture, and the sounds of the waves ebbed and flowed with their image on the wall. In the far distance, a sailboat bobbed along, a speck of white on the horizon line. The sky was blue, barely broken by pale, wispy white clouds floating high in the sky. The video was picturesque, and between the video and the accompanying sounds, he could almost smell the salty sea air. He fixed his gaze on Lance, and was surprised to see the young man’s jaw clenched tightly, the skin by his temple rippling as he ground his teeth. A tear slipped down his cheek, racing toward his chin and then falling onto the blanket.

Shiro sat forward and gently touched his fingers to Lance’s back. “Lance, what’s wrong?”

The blue paladin didn’t answer immediately; he took a deep breath, inhaling shakily as he brought a hand up and swiped at his tears. He turned to face Shiro, his face still fixed with that unreadable expression that perplexed the hell out of Shiro. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice quiet but firm. Shiro furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?” he asked. “I thought you’d like this.” He tried to hide the hurt in his voice. Lance gestured, almost accusingly, at the projected video.

“You do realize what this all looks like, right?” he demanded. Shiro glanced at the video, but Lance huffed in annoyance. “Not just the video, Shiro. The tea, the blankets, the lights. This looks like a date!” He hissed the last word, his voice dropping low. Shiro sat further forward quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful.

“You - you think this is a date?” he asked, praying to every god he could think of that his words didn’t sound like he was mocking. Lance crossed his arms and frowned at Shiro.

“If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck,” he snapped. Shiro’s face split into a grin and he scooted closer to Lance, feeling like he was about to float right off the couch in happiness. This is where it should be going. He could finally tell Lance that he’d been trying to court him, that he wanted to be with him. 

“Then it’s a duck,” he finished for Lance. “Or, a date. But yes.” Shiro tilted his head back and let out a sigh of relief, one he’d been waiting to release for nearly a year. “God, I’m so glad you knew what this was right away. I’ve been trying to get your attention for months, if I’d known this is what it would take, I’d have-”

“You what?” 

Lance’s voice was hardly a whisper, and even then it wavered pitifully. Shiro ceased his victory immediately upon hearing those shattered words leave Lance’s mouth. Lance looked like he’d been stabbed by Shiro instead of courted by him. His blue eyes were wide and glassy with unshed tears, and his breath came shallowly and raggedly. His arms had unfolded and fallen to his sides, limp and completely without any of the energy that Shiro was so often used to seeing in him. Shiro reached for one of Lance’s hands but stopped when he saw him flinch. He sighed.

“Of course I have, Lance. I’ve - I mean, I’ve been trying, anyway. I’m not very.. not very good at this whole dating thing, but I’ve been trying to show you how much you mean to me,” he confessed, feeling stupid. “I guess I wasn’t being romantic enough before, which is why I had Pidge help me go all out with this.” He waved a hand about, indicating the entire observatory setup. Lance’s expression didn’t change, and his gaze didn’t leave Shiro’s face. 

“You.” The fracturing Lance’s voice cut into Shiro as deeply as any blade might. “You did... this? You - you like me?” he gasped out. Shiro grabbed at Lance’s hands, taking them both into his before he could pull away.

“Lance, I - what did you think I’d been trying these past several months, singling you out, following you around like you’re the only lifeboat on board?” he asked gently. 

“I thought you were being nice!” Lance gasped. His hands tightened into fists in Shiro’s grasp, and his eyes began to stutter back and forth, as if he were looking for an exit in a burning building. Shiro felt his heart breaking, and he did his best to soothe Lance by rubbing at the calloused skin of his hands with his own calloused thumb. 

“You - Lance, you love romance. You’ve said you’ve watched every corny rom-com there was before we came out to space. And you - you’re not stupid, Lance,” he murmured. “Why wouldn’t you.. why wouldn’t you assume that I was trying to - to ask you out, or something?” He hoped he wasn’t making Lance feel like a fool, but he thought he’d been rather obvious. Lance finally managed to focus his gaze back on Shiro’s face, and he looked like he was fighting hard to keep his countenance from falling apart. He sighed, his head tilting just slightly to the side and his eyes falling out of focus again.

“I noticed the extra attention, but I didn’t think that you’d ever like someone like me, so I convinced myself that there was nothing else behind it,” he whispered. Shiro’s breath hitched, then paused in his chest. 

“What do you mean ‘someone like you’?” he asked quietly, though he felt that he’d figured out the answer, and it was sitting heavy in his gut. 

“I’m not anything special. I mean, sure, I pilot Blue, but anyone can do that - Allura could take my place any time,” Lance said. “And you,” he said emphatically, looking back to Shiro and cracking a weak, broken smile. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, but what chance did I have? What could you possibly see in a mediocre cargo pilot like me?”

Shiro’s breath left his lungs, his stomach churning violently and his throat tight with emotion. He released Lance’s hands and reached up with his left hand to cradle his cheek. Lance clenched his eyes shut, a few more tears escaping. 

“You are a thousand times the man any cargo pilot could ever hope to be,” Shiro whispered. Lance’s face finally crumpled, and he grasped at Shiro’s wrist, flexing his fingers around it. “And even if you were a cargo pilot, how could that ever take away from everything else that you are?” Lance snorted, a fresh wave of tears falling.

“Like obnoxious-”

“Passionate,” Shiro interrupted.

“Never serious-”

“You find positivity in every situation.”

“I never know when to shut up-”

“Your mind never stops working.”

“And I can’t stop fucking crying when I’m trying to talk!”

“Feeling is hardly a flaw, Lance,” Shiro chastised gently, a smile creeping onto his face. Lance shook his head.

“I have nothing to offer you, Shiro!” He sounded like he was trying to be firm, but his voice simply cracked again. He pulled Shiro’s hand away from his face. “You are so - so you, and you could do so much better than a skinny little nobody from Cuba,” he sobbed. Shiro breathed in deeply, a small, patient smile on his face.

“There’s one pretty cool thing about being me, though,” he said. “Know what that is?” Lance shook his head. “I’m the only one who gets to decide who’s good enough for me to love.” Lance’s eyes widened. “And I think I’d decided on you a long time before I even realized it.”

This time it was Lance’s hands that reached out and clasped at Shiro’s. They were shaking and clammy when they touched at Shiro’s, and Shiro held them fast, keeping them steady and still. He twisted his body so he faced Lance entirely, and gently tugged on Lance until he shifted as well. 

“You love me?” Lance asked, his voice hardly even audible enough to be considered a whisper. Shiro brought Lance’s knuckles to his lips and kissed them, not breaking eye contact. 

“If it’s not painfully obvious by now that I do, then I guess I’ve got the rest of our lives to prove it. If you’ll let me, I mean,” he amended hastily. Lance’s eyes were wide, his mouth having fallen open slightly. 

“Are you-”

“Yes, Lance, I am,” Shiro said, his face pulling into a grin. He released Lance’s hands to once more cup his face, and he gently guided his face closer. He watched Lance’s face filter through so many emotions; it was almost as if every single thing Shiro had done to try and get Lance’s attention was sinking in, moment by moment, month by month, smile by smile. Recognition clicked into place like cogs in a machine and Shiro relished in watching Lance come to the beautiful realization that he was so, so loved. 

Without a sound, Lance fell forward against Shiro, his arms instantly wrapping around his neck. Shiro let his hand slide back into Lance’s hair and he guided their lips together. His grey eyes slid shut as he slanted his mouth against Lance’s and kissed him for all he was worth. Lance’s lips were soft and warm and a little wet with tears, and he thought briefly that maybe he should have been applying lip balm to ease how chapped his were from gnawing on them. Lance didn’t seem to care about the moisture of his lips, if his happy little sigh was any indication. Shiro dropped his hands to Lance’s waist and tugged him forward, encouraging Lance to move closer.

Lance took things a step further than Shiro imagined, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. The blue paladin crawled into his lap and wound his long legs around his waist, settling against him easily and comfortably. Shiro hummed contentedly into their kiss, wrapping his arms around Lance’s waist and holding him tight. Lance’s hands eventually found their way to the back of Shiro’s head, and he dug his long fingers into his short hair. Shiro chuckled into the kiss, and Lance followed suit until they broke apart, grinning widely at one another. Lance bent his head and touched his forehead to Shiro’s.

“I was so stupid,” Lance muttered. Shiro kissed him again, chaste and light.

“You’re hardly stupid, Lance. But you lack confidence,” he answered honestly. Lance flushed.

“I try not to bother anyone with it,” he mumbled. Shiro tightened his arms around Lance, pressing them closer together.

“First, you are never a bother. Not to me, not to anyone on this ship. Second,” he trailed off in order to kiss Lance again, deep and passionate. Lance hummed into the kiss, smiling against Shiro’s lips. “I get to help you work on it.” He kissed him again, quick but no less eager than before. “And I don’t care how many of these it takes-” he paused for another series of kisses, “or how often I have to tell you that you’re the most breathtaking person I’ve ever laid eyes on-”

Lance made a sound of embarrassment and buried his face into Shiro’s neck.

“-but I will do everything in my power to make sure you never forget that you are truly the most incredible person I’ve ever known,” Shiro finished in a whisper, his lips resting against the shell of Lance’s ear. He gently pulled back so he could look at Lance properly, framing his face with both of his hands. “Is that okay?” Tearfully, Lance nodded fervently. Shiro swiped at the tears with his thumbs and kissed Lance again, and again, and again.

The gulls screeched from the speakers, and the video had long since looped to the beginning again, trekking down an endless white beach. The waves crashed and receded from the shore, just as Shiro’s lips crashed and receded to and from Lance’s over and over again that night, until they were both too exhausted to do much else but rub noses and breathe each other in. 

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #56

We’re hitting the busy season at my job tomorrow, so I’m not sure when the next list will be. Happy New Year, anyway!

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Disaster Hearts by lieutenantshirogane Words: 719 Author’s Summary: After a mission goes wrong, Coran struggles to let go. Luckily, Kolivan is there to help. My Comments: Not a combo I had considered before, but it’s so good that I just had to read and rec this one. So good.

Bushel and a Peck by isabeau25 Words: 5,158 Author’s Summary: It’s not Hunk’s first job interview, but it might just be his favorite. Series Part 3 of The Five Lions Cafe My Comments: We’re coming up on the busy season at my job, and I was grateful for this spot of pre-emptive stress relief. It’s so lovely and relaxing. Read the whole series.

Cream Waterfalls and Violet Stars and All The Broken ThingsbyMashpotatoeQueen5 Words: 3,185 Author’s Summary: Coran had children once. (A fic about before and after, and the family that our favorite Space Uncle might have lost in his ten thousand years of slumber. Sad… but hopeful ending?) My Comments: Beautiful and haunting vision of Coran’s lost family and how he sees them in the new children he deals with every day. I love the idea of Coran as a family man, and this is a great exploration of that concept.

Shopping for Disaster by Engineer104 Words: 6,108 Author’s Summary: Allura just wanted something sparkly, and Pidge just wanted to get her ears pierced. And they will, after a mishap involving a kid, a Druid, and a Galra ship. My Comments: Bonding time with Pidge and Allura turns into an action/adventure with plenty of badassery from both. Very fun read.

Children of the Empire by foxysquid for Meteorysh Words: 10,147 Author’s Summary: Those who find themselves without parents can turn to Emperor Zarkon for parental guidance instead—but Thace would rather not. Shuttled off to a school for orphaned children, he has to adapt to a strange place, with no one to rely on. Fortunately, he may not be as alone as he thinks he is. Written for Galra Secret Santa, as a gift for meterorysh! There are also some accompanying illustrations, which you can find here. My Comments: Absolutely stunning. Achy and touching, fantastic worldbuilding and characterization. I felt so bad for tiny Thace, losing his parents and shipped off to a school where he had to guard himself every second of every day for fear of being outed as a traitor. The friendship with Ulaz and eventual conclusion were extremely satisfying. This read like the beginning of an original novel, one that I would gladly devour in like a day at a most.

Words of Good Cheer by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 31,364 Author’s Summary: 12 days of Advent fics for the winter season 1) The gang gets stuck in their cabin on vacation (Modern AU) 2) The lights and noise of the holiday party prove to be overwhelming for Shiro 3) Ryou and Lance attempt to make Hunk a treat. 4) Shatt - Shiro and Matt get their Christmas snuggle on 5) Shallura - Shiro shows Allura how to make snow angels 6) Sheith - Shiro falls through the ice on a snowy planet and needs to be warmed up 7) Alone at the Garrison over break, Keith and Shiro work together to ignore the holiday 8) Shunkeith - Sweet Tooth AU, Hunk has to stay over when they’re snowed in 9) Baby’s Ryou’s first Christmas 10) Old Friend’s Senior Sanctuary AU - Lance convinced Shiro to help make a 2018 calendar for charity 11) Ryou disappears on an ice planet and Shiro fears the worst 12) Smol!Shiro worries how Santa will find the castle My Comments: Each of these little fics is absolutely adorable and worth reading on their own, and we get twelve for the price of one! Four are shipfics, Shatt, Shallura, and Sheith, plus Shunkeith, but the chapters are labeled so you can easily skip them and stick to the gen if you want.

Vasish by ElementKitsune for AstroPhantom Words: 2,255 Author’s Summary: Sometimes, you just wake up and go see a storm with your favourite princess. (Coran and Allura go stormwatching) My Comments: Sweet Allura and Coran interaction before the fall of Altea. It’s cute, and a little sad, but mostly heartwarming.

Stranger Danger (2) by YukiSetsu Words: 2,076 Author’s Summary: Sequel to Stranger Danger (part 5 of Whumpmas series). After the last incident, Lance didn’t think he’d run into David again anytime soon. He was wrong. My Comments: Sequel to a previously recced fic, and just as good as that one. The realism of this is what hikes up to true levels of disturbing. Great protectiveness from the others.

Epoxy to the World by buckysbears (DrZebra) Words: 2,245 Author’s Summary: Shiro, Pidge, and Keith are forced into a Galra gladiator arena. The two younger paladins see a side of Shiro that he desperately wishes they hadn’t. My Comments: Very intense and emotional. This is pretty much Shiro’s worst nightmare. I don’t blame him for losing himself a little bit along the way.

What’s In A Name? by bouquetofwhoopsiedaisies Words: 1,532 Author’s Summary: “What is ‘Keith’?” Kolivan asked one evening. Keith looked up, blinking in confusion. “I’m Keith.” “Yes, but what is ‘Keith’?” Kolivan pressed.“Well, as far as I know, mostly human, and some Galra.” He really thought Kolivan already knew this. He had been there when Keith’s knife changed form, indicating that he had Galra blood. How much, none of them knew. Kolivan huffed, looking impatient. “The word. ‘Keith’. What does it mean, in your language?” (The Blades get curious about the name of their smallest member. Pidge does some hacking to find out the surprising answer) My Comments: Cute, fluffy, and funny. I like the little bit of Galra culture, too, and Blades being protective and teasing of Keith is always a plus.

Castle Glitch by YukiSetsu Words: 2,394 Author’s Summary: When a bug from Pidge’s laptop accidentally infects the Castle, Lance ends up having to face an extreme gladiator bot without a weapon and armor. As expected, things get dangerous really quick. My Comments: Excellent whump, excellent protective team. I don’t know how many ways to say that I’m enjoying everything this author is doing, but here it is again.

Sick Day by FanaticFangirl2602 for RandomDragonDoodles Words: 2,727 Author’s Summary: Keith should have seen it coming. Actually, he did see it coming. The little voice in the back of his mind had been scolding him for going so hard for the past month, but all he’d done was push it aside and ignore it. A dumb decision. My Comments: Nice little Keith-centric sickfic in a college AU. Hits the spot.

All Swallowed in their Coats by yet_intrepid for stover Words: 2,317 Author’s Summary: Shiro and his new roommate, Matt, would tell you that they are nothing alike: Shiro is an overwhelmed grad student, while Matt is a dropout and avid science youtuber. But then there’s a blizzard, and maybe things change. My Comments: Great modern AU with Shiro and Matt realizing that they have much more in common than they think. Past abuse.

Fruit Loops by SerenePhenix Words: 3,571 Author’s Summary: Shiro never stood a chance. My Comments: Wonderful team-as-family feels in a modern roommate AU. So cute and fluffy and sweet.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas by WinterSky101 Words: 2,510 Author’s Summary: In which Pidge is a Christmas elf. ‘Tis the season, after all. My Comments: Cute and sweet and fluffy, with just a touch of angst at the end. 'Tis the season!

If Only In My Dreams by yet_intrepid Words: 5,918 Author’s Summary: The team agrees that Space Christmas isn’t that great with Keith off on missions with the Blade of Marmora. But it’s a lot, lot worse with Keith held hostage by the Galra. My Comments: Awesome whump fic, very snappy pace and intense emotions, and the Christmas theme just heightened the whole thing to the rafters.

In Stitches by A_Zap Words: 6,118 Author’s Summary: With every stitch, a bigger picture can be seen. And each one is made with love.In which everyone on Team Voltron learns more about Lance as he knits the day away. And maybe he learns something too. My Comments: It’s been a while since I’ve read a fic with Lance as a knitter. This was very warm and soft and fluffy, lots of great bonding and sweetness. Very satisfying.

Tradition… Tradition by imperiality Words: 6,802 Author’s Summary: It’s bright! It’s loud! It’s festive! It’s everything Shiro hasn’t really had for Christmas, and it’s wonderful. Then the night winds down. And it’s down to 3. They talk about traditions. Some are lonelier than others. My Comments: The entire team has a lovely Christmas, but the ending conversation between Shiro, Matt, and Keith was the most emotional and heartwarming thing in the fic. Little bit of angst and emotional hurt comfort for lonely boys who miss their homes, but mostly they’re just happy to count their blessings where they are.

One by One by LitDragonWagon Words: 8,512 Author’s Summary: Shiro remains in a state of Not Surprised about all the people who join him in his bed. (Just a cute fic about the paladins platonically sleeping together due to nightmares, and healing.) My Comments: Paladin cuddle puddle to the max. This was very relaxing to read. Brief mention of Klance.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Little Crystals (19627 words) As Color Fades Away (243019 words) This May Sting (6856 words) Gate Keeper (122883 words) Young Blood (9761 words) The Purity of Sin (47036 words) The Sea In Between (81074 words) Beacon (25201 words) Shadows of Stars (95789 words)

[spookyfloof]

Be My Escape (Ch. 2)

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Pairing: Shiro/Pidge (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

      Strong Language (Warnings might change for later chapters)

Summary: Amidst her growing fears for her family and the pressures of being a Paladin, Pidge’s feelings for Shiro only intensify. But is it really love, or the need to escape that’s drawing her to him?

Note: For the sake of this story, Pidge is 17 and Shiro is 21. It becomes relevant during this chapter.

Read on AO3

“Tomorrow” was both brutally long and frighteningly short.

At Allura and Coran's instruction, the team attended councils with the leaders of several planets in their current solar system. But it was all a formality. After having freed these people only days ago of Zarkon's control, introductions were only proper.

The occupying Galra forces had been easily taken care of, barely fortified as there defenses were – disabling communications without detection had been a cinch. After all, these planets were of minimal value to Zarkon, but for Voltron, every little victory helped.

The assemblies with the various alien species went smoothly, as expected, but it was Pidge's anticipated meeting with Shiro that had her on edge.

The entire day, she was distracted, anxious, exhausted, and most of all wishing desperately she could reverse time. For the most part, Shiro and Allura took turns speaking on the team's behalf, but when it was the latter's turn to take over the discussions, Pidge would catch the former stealing glances at her.

There was no way she was getting out of this.

By dinnertime, Pidge was sure she was losing years of her life with how fast her heart was beating.

“Just make it through dinner. Maybe if I eat fast enough I can pretend I'm not feeling well and go to bed early without having to say anything.”

The idea was appealing, but she knew that would only put off the inevitable. And she didn't think she could handle this anxiety for another day.

Suddenly, Hunk and Coran emerged from the kitchen with several plates of food in hand.

“Hey, guys!” Hunk announced to the dining room, “Me and Coran managed to make improvised Ratatouille with some of the vegetables the locals gave us! You guys are gonna love it!”

“It's actually rather good!” Coran chimed in, “It reminds me a bit of a traditional Utrurq dish I tried once...although this is a lot quieter, so that's certainly a plus.”

Keith exchanged his confusion with Lance from across the table, but no one questioned him.

Pidge tried to eat, but with her stomach in knots, the most she managed was a few nibbles and abstract food sculptures with her fork. Before she knew it, everyone else was already finished or cleaning up their dishes...except Shiro.

Hunk came up to her as he was taking his plate to the kitchen and leaned against the back of her chair.

“You didn't like it?” he asked, disappointed, “It was the sauce, wasn't it? I think I got a little too experimental with it.”

She turned to him, almost surprised.

“No! It's great!” she argued, “I'm just...not really feeling well.”

This earned another glance from Shiro despite him being in the middle of a conversation of his own.

“It's cool. Don't force yourself. Do you need antacid or something? I'm pretty sure we have something like that.”

“No, no, I'm fine,” she said before her peripheral noticed the rest of the team getting up from the table, leaving only her and Shiro still seated.

Panic settled in anew.

“Actually, I think I'm feeling a little better already!”

Pidge shoveled the rest of her food in her mouth and nearly choked in the process of gulping it down. She shot up from her chair.

“Thanks, Hunk. Thanks, Coran. That was delicious!” she said with a genuine smile, then abducted her plate through the kitchen door, leaving a completely baffled Hunk in her wake.

–

Shiro chewed the last of his food slowly as he processed the exchange between Pidge and Hunk. The way she was acting today during the meetings, and the way she'd bolted from the table just now, she was obviously freaking out about something. And while she promised to tell him, he still couldn't shake the feeling she was avoiding him.

Whatever it was, it had to be serious. Shiro liked to think he was pretty familiar with the members of his team, but he'd never seen her so on-edge like this before. It was obvious she was still concerned about Matt and their father, but there had to be something else. This couldn't just be about that, could it? The more he thought, the more he worried, but he'd already resolved not to pressure her into talking.

She'd come to him when she was ready.

–

It wasn't until at least an hour or two later when she'd found him, though he'd lost track of time poring over the ship's data on Galra weaponry and known battle tactics in the strategy room. Keith had asked to spar with him after dinner, but he declined with a promise to train together tomorrow – if Pidge did show up, he wanted to make sure he'd be alone.

When she finally arrived, she didn't bother to cross the threshold into the room itself. Her fingers were tangled together at her waist. Her fingers were wringing themselves behind her back.

“I'm...” she started,  paused, and then sighed, annoyed it seemed, though more at herself than him, “I'm ready to talk. If you are, of course.”

He smiled warmly in response.

“Of course.”

“First, can we go somewhere a little more private?”

--

In silence, Shiro followed her to a wing of the castle he was barely familiar with -- there wasn't much here and it went mostly unused. The hall they followed was dark and quiet with only enough lights for them to see where they were going. When they stopped in front of a locked door, Pidge touched her hand to a sensor pad nearby. It beeped softly and glowed green, apparently appeased, and the door slid open. Inside appeared to be some kind of personal library, furnished with floor to ceiling bookcases, a long couch, and a large L-shaped desk. There was a view of the nearest planet outside.

“This was King Alfor's,” Pidge said, answering Shiro's unspoken question, “Allura told me I could come here whenever I wanted.”

“I see,” he said while taking everything in.

“You might want to sit down,.”

Without a word, he took a seat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other. She began to pace in front of him.

“Okay, so, I'm just gonna get this out. I'm just gonna say it. Okay. Alright...”

Eventually, she stopped pacing, took a deep breath and with eyes honed in on the desk, she spoke the words, “Shiro, I like you. And not in a friend kind of way because I know that's what you would think hearing me say that, but that's not how I mean it. I like you, as in, I like you like you, and... uh I can't believe I'm saying this and I'm going to stop talking now and let you say something... Okay.”

“Oh god, what am I doing?!”

She faced him then and studied his body language expectantly, trying to gauge his response before he could even say anything.

Shiro leaned back a little and focused on the floor tiles between them.

“Hmm,” was all he could get out at first, but after several seconds, he continued. “Well, I can say I honestly was not expecting that. You did have me worried there.”

More silence. He chose his next words carefully.

“I'm flattered, but...why me? I'm...well...” He looked up at her then “...a few years older than you.”

If anything, Pidge was incredulous.

“You have to ask?”

She'd meant it as a genuine question, but as he didn't answer, she went on.

“I mean, you're mature, for one. You're tall, brave, a born leader, a great pilot, attractive, obviously.” She said these words with ease if not conviction, her anxiety dissolved by disbelief that he would even ask.

“Don't put me on a pedestal, Pidge. I'm only human.” His eyes flashed to his cybernetic arm. “Well, mostly.”

“And modest!” she added, gesturing to him as if he were ignoring something obvious.

Shiro gave her a reprimanding look.

“Okay, look, I've admired you ever since I found out you were going to be on the Kerberos mission with my dad and my brother. And then ever since I met you, I've liked you and....sort of...” she debated revealing the last bit of her confession, but she'd already come this far. “...Sort of wanted you to...kiss me. I know, that's cheesy.”

He leaned forward, planting both feet on the floor now.

“Pidge, I think you know what I have to say here. You are incredible, you know that, but no matter how I feel or don't feel, it doesn't matter. You and I can't get involved that way. You're...”

“To young,” she finished for him, irritation weighing down her tone.

“...Yeah.”

“And if I were older?”

“I...would think about it,” he said cautiously.

She frowned and Shiro sighed.

“You're a wonderful young woman, Pidge.”

“Don't do that,” she huffed while crossing her arms and looking away, “I don't want your pity.”

“I'm not pitying you,” he insisted, but she didn't buy it.

“I know it's ‘wrong’,” she said, emphasizing the word with her fingers mimicking quotation marks, “but if it's something we both happened to want, I don't see why we couldn't. I mean, I'm the one who came to you. It's not like you'd be taking advantage of me.”

“It's complicated,” he said, vainly hoping she'd accept it at that. Naturally, she wanted him to elaborate.

“If we were to be together in that way... hypothetically... the last thing I would want is for you to end up regretting it. Wishing you'd been with someone your own age. Or that you'd waited. You should really think about this.”

Pidge rolled her eyes with a groan.

“I have, Shiro! Practically every day we put our lives at risk. Every day we wake up with the reality there might not be a tomorrow for us. I'm not asking you to marry me! If you don't like me that way, then just tell me. I'd understand! I know I'm not gorgeous like Allura. I don't have long flowy hair anymore. I get it! But don't use my age as a cop-out!”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose. This was a lot more like the Pidge he knew – stubborn.

The right thing to do, the smart thing to do would be to simply tell her he wasn't interested and leave it at that. It was also probably the easiest, and yet he didn't, and he wasn't wholly sure why. True, he wanted to spare her feelings, but there was something else. Something he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

“Pidge,” he said finally, “I can't. I'm sorry.”

“You keep saying that! 'Can't'' It's bullshit!” Her voice started to fade from enraged to pleading, “Just say it. Please. Just say you don't like me that way.”

Shiro breathed deeply -- inhale, exhale -- but could only shake his head, defeated.

“I can't.”

She understood nonetheless and her mouth pressed into a hard line. She bit the insides of her lips together and the light reflecting in her big brown eyes seemed to shimmer.

Her hands balled into fists at her sides and they started to tremble. From anger? He didn't know. And neither did she. For a split second, Shiro feared she would try to punch him and his body tensed on impulse.  

Instead, she spun on her heel and started towards the door without a word until...she didn't. Pidge stopped in her tracks despite her mind begging her feet to move. They didn't.

“Don't you dare do this! Not now!”

It happened faster than either of them could fully register. Especially Shiro. But once he did, his eyes widened in horror.

He'd gutted her. With no more effort than it took to crush a sheet of tinfoil, he'd crumpled her to the floor. And he was petrified.

Despite her silence, her chest heaved. Pidge forced her hands over her mouth, her eyes desperate and wild like cornered prey.

“Stop it! Stop!”

But she didn't. She couldn't.

A sob escaped her throat and she wanted to scream.

“No!”

As he watched, the scene before him began to feel eerily familiar. Images of grieving mothers, children, siblings, separated from their families, separated from hope flickered behind his eyes.

He'd seen this before.

Slowly, wordlessly, Shiro approached her, his footsteps soft on the hard floor. Once he was close enough, he lowered himself to his knees behind her and touched her shoulder. She didn't react.

He started to ease her towards him, gently, but she resisted. Her arms flailed to shake him off and he was quick to let go, but in doing so, she released another cry. She clamped a hand back over her mouth and forced her eyes closed as she curled further into herself.

He waited a moment, then repeated the action -- this time she didn't try to repel him. Both his hands cupped her shoulders then and he drew her to his chest, gathering her petite form into his arms.

She was helpless but to hide her face behind her hands as unforgiving tears streamed down.

Shiro leaned back until he was sitting on the floor and pulled her into his lap. His arms wrapped tighter around her, enveloping her easily, and he planted his chin atop her head. On some instinct, he closed his eyes and started to hum a tuneless melody. His thumb slid back and forth over her arm like a soothing metronome.

“I'm so sorry,” he thought, “This isn't what I wanted.”

Pidge managed to whimper through her fingers, “I'm sorry. I'm being so fucking dramatic. You must think I'm insane freaking out like this over nothing. I must be on my period or something.” She forced a laugh, but it was quickly drowned in more tears.

Shiro said nothing, his face solemn as he continued humming.

Eventually, the tight bundle in his arms relaxed enough to rest her weight against him and lean her head on his collarbone. They stayed like that for several more minutes, until Shiro could feel her body had stopped trembling.

“Do you want me to let you go now?” he murmured.

Pidge was silent as she thought. When she finally answered, her subdued voice sounded almost guilty.

“Would you be angry if I said no?”

He chuckled and the sound rumbled into her like a distant thunder. “Not at all.”

She swallowed hard and it hurt. Everything hurt. Most of all her heart.

“Shiro...” She blinked back fresh tears. “What if they're... what if I'm too late? What if my dad and my brother...” Her voice started to crack.

“Don't think like that,” he answered before she could continue, “Both of them are strong and capable. And so are you. You'll find each other. You have to believe that.”

Her head bobbled weakly and it wasn't until her sobs subsided again that Shiro apologized.

“Pidge. I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“I know. It's not your fault.” Her vocal chords felt thick and heavy against the lump in her throat.

“I hope you'll forgive me.”

She sniffled. “I'm not that petty, Shiro.”

“Well, I wouldn't blame you if you were.” He paused, unsure if he should continue, then lowered his voice. “I meant what I said, you know. You are wonderful –  you're so, so intelligent, not to mention a great pilot and more-than-decent fighter. I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be the Green Paladin. And yes, you are beautiful, even without your flowy hair.”

He loosened his hold on her. “I wish I could give you a straight answer...”

Pidge didn't care anymore. She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She didn't want him to hold her – no matter how safe it made her feel. She didn't want his warmth. Didn't want his comfort. Didn't want to be near his scent that felt like home. All she wanted was sleep. Sweet, dreamless sleep to whisk her away and make her forget everything for a few precious hours.

“I think I should be going to bed.”

“That's probably a good idea,” Shiro agreed before releasing her.

As he helped her to her feet, he caught a glimpse of her bloodshot eyes and tear-streaked face, but she was quick to turn away, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. She shuffled out into the corridor, but as she turned the corner, her face out of his view, she paused, her hand lingering on the door's frame.

“Good night, Takashi.”

“Good night, Katie,” he said, and she left.

For a while, Shiro didn't move. He stared out into the empty hallway, white, pristine, cold...and silent. When he broke himself from his reverie, he retreated back to the couch behind him and sat down, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers steepled together.

His thick eyebrows furrowed as his eyes wandered about the room, searching. Searching for something. He leaned back, his neck arching over the couch's support as far as it would go, and gazed at the ceiling, at nothing. He pressed the side of his fist to his forehead.

“Fuck.”

[starboundfic]

Interlude 1

These events are set during/after the events of Chapter 16.

Chapter 16 - 

“Just to make sure I understand all of this,” Horace began, trying to not let his irritation at the matter show. “Two more L-vessels crashed on Elpis.”

“Yes sir.”

“And then you lost them.”

Commander Delmas at least had the decency to look ashamed for a moment. “Yes sir. We’re still looking into the security breach.”

“Good. Were you at least able to learn anything about the one you were able to bring to the base for study?”

“Not much. Nothing we have here was able to get it open, and we’ve cross-referenced every single dictionary, both human languages and alien languages, but there’s nothing even remotely like the symbol that was on the green one. But one thing we did find out was that…well, that the material they made of doesn’t exist.”

“Come again?”

“Or, well,” she stuttered slightly. “It does exist, since it’s what the L-vessels are made of, but it’s nothing on the periodic table, traditional or extended. The research team wasn’t able to figure out what they run on, either. The best guess we have is that they’re solar-powered, and even then, there are doubts.”

That was…interesting, to say the least. “What about their pilots? Anything on species?”

She smiled faintly. “About that. The base’s security footage didn’t have anything, unfortunately—they got set on loop somehow—but an inquiry into the nearby town was another story.”

An image came up, clearly from the security camera of a simple convenience store, but it was who was shown in the image that had the president’s attention. He quickly brought up the file on the Great Race, just to make sure he wasn’t simply seeing things.

He wasn’t.

“Not a stunt I’d expect from two mere mechanics,” he mused. It was a strange mixture of irritation and relief, the former because they’d impeded on government business, and the latter because if two of the team were alive, it meant the others might be as well.

Then again, he’d already had that suspicion when the team he’d gotten cleared to send out to Alwas had reported no sign of them at all whatsoever. Not even their star-racer could be found, whole or in fragments. (The second one, anyways. The first was located in a state of beyond repair in a junkyard on the planet.)

If he had to guess, one of the others had been piloting the red one away from Alwas then. Horace understood why they hadn’t come back to Earth then, or simply landed on Elpis—not with the unknown vessel tailing them.

But why not this most recent incident?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was unfortunate, what had befallen Captain Lirax, but perhaps he was better off having perished, than living to report yet another failure involving the paladins. The same could not be said of the two subordinates of his. They would be punished, upon their return to Central Command.

But perhaps it was not a complete loss, the druid mused, gazing at the two vials now held in hand. One contained a few strands of hair, and the other a small sample of blood.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She’d waited until both Lance and Hunk were guaranteed out-cold before opening up her laptop. Katie grimaced when she saw the email from her mom, which she decided could wait until after she was finished drafting the first outgoing piece.

It had taken a bit of nosing around on Commander Delmas’ computer in the middle of the night—a perk of being in charge of all military operations on Elpis was that her computer had a signal strong enough to reach the extended internet—but she’d found out a little more information on who Stan had wanted her to contact.

A little more information than she’d expected, if she had to be honest with herself, along with an honest incentive to plant a little computer-worm of her making into the system.

The surprising part to the information was that it turned out that the person Stan wanted her to contact doubled as his and his adoptive brother’s employer and foster parent.

That wasn’t all, either.

Katie wasn’t sure what the Great Race of Ōban was supposed to be, but the level of security on things even mentioning it put the clearance blocks on the Kerberos Mission to shame.

And that by itself piqued her interest.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He’d resigned himself to it, when the final thread had snapped after the fifth round. His pawn had been chosen, and the centuries he’d spent nudging fate in the necessary directions had all been for naught.

It mattered little, in the end, upon having reason to reflect further on the nature of the Lions. In simply being present on Alwas, the Red Lion had provided him an alternative.

One that needn’t require a pawn at all, but an accomplice.

He simply had to be patient for a while longer, and let the victor become complacent.

It would not take long for that to happen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She wasn’t sure who’d suggested it, in the end, but all of them sans Shiro were gathered on the bridge, in the midst of a haphazard mess of blankets and pillows taken from various empty bedrooms. Allura and Coran had gone along with it, curious about the human concept that was a sleepover.

Eva also wasn’t sure what exactly woke her up just then.

She sat up, blinking sleep out of her eyes, before looking around. It definitely wasn’t a blanket being stolen from her—by the look of it Koji had taken one of the ones Stan had been using this time. They and Allura were off to the left, as were the mice.

It wasn’t a sound, since she’d since figured out how to filter out Coran’s whistly snoring; he was somewhere by the main console, just in case.

Then she noticed the lack of another sound she’d gotten used to, and looked further to the right to see Jordan staring up vacantly at the crystal. “Can’t sleep either?” she asked quietly.

He started a bit, visibly biting back an exclamation. “Eva? Why’re you up?”

She paused, thinking it over for a minute, before saying “I’m not really sure. It—it almost feels like I…missed something. And you?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. Just can’t sleep, I guess. I’ve been in and out for the past two hours.” He looked back to the ceiling, expression going blank, before making a small, short sound not unlike a nervous chuckle. “Actually, now that you mention it? I kinda—kinda feel like I just…dodged a bullet, or something.”

She frowned at him. “Really?”

“Y-Yeah.” He shuddered a little. “Don’t know why.”

Red had gone pensive in the back of her head, like he was pondering something, but when she directed a query at him, he shrugged it off before suggesting trying to go back to sleep. It wasn’t a bad idea, either.

“You doing okay now?” She almost missed Jordan’s question, which she had to think about.

Yes, she felt better after that emotional outburst, but okay would be a stretch. She’d spent the last ten years thinking she knew something, and then found out she was wrong. Her memories of what happened between her and Spirit before…then, were hazy at best, and everything after that was a painful blur, but enough things were clear.

Rick hadn’t been there when they’d gotten back, and that was that. They’d just have to keep looking, for both him and her father. And Prince Aikka, too—Allura had mentioned seeing G’dar on Alwas before she’d fallen asleep.

“I will be,” she decided, stifling a yawn. To the side, Koji mumbled something incomprehensible, which got a quick smile; she hadn’t taken him for one to sleep-talk. “We better get back to sleep. Shiro’s gonna be up tomorrow morning, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Jordan paused, before saying, “Hey, uh, Eva? I was wondering if—” He stopped when she looked over at him again, puzzled, face flushing faintly before saying “Never mind,” and turning away with a quiet “Night.”

She looked at him for a few seconds longer before echoing the statement, the sensation that had first awoken her now forgotten.

Though something else hit her seconds after, eliciting a quiet “Oh no,” from her.

“What?” Jordan asked, apprehensive.

“How…how are we going to tell Shiro what happened today?”

[ruffsficstuffplace]

Of Rocks, Romantic Rivalries, and Rune Rangers (Part 7): Invitations and Trepidation

Pidge and Hunk spent the rest of the afternoon repairing the titans and making prototypes for defenses against sonic attacks like Mero’s singing.

Though modifying their gear and the giant constructs was as easy as changing values and drafting designs on a terminal and letting the magic of the runes do the rest, making up entirely new magitech far beyond the boundaries of what both the humans and the Fae had achieved was still no mean feat.

They called it for the day at six. The titans were fully repaired and recharging their power cores for the next fight, while a team of golems tried to recreate the exact frequency of Mero’s singing for testing whether or not the new upgrades would hold up in practice as they did in theory.

<Not looking forward to hearing that tomorrow...> Hunk muttered as they cleaned up the empty bottles, cartons, and boxes of snacks they’d left around their work space.

<Who would be?> Pidge asked as she vacuumed up the crumbs and stray bits, then polished the counters till they were gleaming once more. <At least we can test it by blasting the golems instead of one of us—her ‘song’ is still ringing in my head.>

<I’ve been meaning to ask you what it was like under her spell, actually,> Hunk said as he put his armload of trash onto a teleporter. <You know, if it’s not too traumatic to bring up.>

Pidge winced. <How do I describe it...> she said as she opened up the supply cabinet. <It’s like having an off-key, tone-deaf voice in your head screeching the most annoyingly catchy song imaginable, and the it’s saying the only to get it to stop is to do everything the lyrics tell you to, and yet it doesn’t:

<It just gets worse and worse, and you just keep on following the lyrics anyway.>

<What was she saying?> Hunk asked as he pressed a button, and the trash disappeared through a rip in reality.

Pidge shrugged. <She wasn’t singing words, exactly, it was like how the titans talk to us: ideas, suggestions, emotions,> she said as she put the vacuum and the cleaning supplies back in their proper places. <If I had to hazard a translation, part of it would definitely go ‘Like, obey me, doucheschnozzle!’>

Hunk laughed, but he stopped and looked at her in worry soon after. <Are you okay, Pidge?>

Pidge sighed as she closed the closet. <No. Not going to be for a long, long while.>

Hunk walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. <You want to talk about it?>

Pidge turned to him then shook her head. <No offense to you, Hunk, but I don’t want to weigh you down with all this heavy stuff right now, we’re both pretty brain-fried from all that protyping.>

Hunk frowned. <Alright, but promise me you’re not going to keep it all to yourself again?>

Pidge smiled and held up her hand. <I promise! Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson about keeping secrets from my friends.>

Hunk smiled. <Good. Thought we’re going to have to do that whole song and dance again back when you were still working for Jahilliyah…>

<That time of my life is over, Hunk,> Pidge said. <I’m a Rune Ranger now. One of the good guys.>

But as Hunk bid her goodbye, and left to go cook dinner, she had to wonder: was it really over…?

“… No, ma’am, I’m afraid, I can not guarantee you that Keith will be your son’s temporary boyfriend for the entirety of his birthday,” Allura said as she sat at her seat in the Core, in front of the terminal built into her part of the table.

“Ma’am, Keith is a living, breathing Avalonian with rights and feelings just like you or me: he’s not property to be rented out willy-nilly!” Her eyes widened. She chewed her lip for a moment, before she quietly sighed, and said, “That is a very generous sum indeed, ma’am, but I’m afraid there is just no price that can be paid for Keith or the time of any of us.

“We’re the Defenders of Avalon, not a companion service.

“Besides, what if Zarkon’s forces decide to use the opportunity to attack Keith, have your son caught in the collateral damage? Would risking his safety and that of his guests really be worth it?” Allura paused. “Really now? Well, yes, I have heard of Crossfire-Cam, but I never—no, ma’am, I will still have to—ma’am, I’m truly very sorry, but my decision remains unchanged:

“Keith nor any of the other Rangers cannot be contracted for their time and presence, for companionship or any other reason.”

There was a long pause. “Ma’am, those situations were our voluntarily offering ourselves to the cause or the organization involved, we weren’t paid to appear at those events; any sort of monetary value assigned to our presence and the profits from the publicity and the exposure is not indicative of any sort of transaction nor payment.”

Allura frowned. “Ma’am, for security and privacy reasons, no, I cannot give you Keith’s private comm-line… no, I will not pass the message on, either.” She bit back a sigh. “Good day, my fellow Avalonian,” she said, before she cut the line.

She groaned, let her head hit the table. <Oh, Eluna, what happened these past 1,000 years?>

Coran sighed as he worked on the paperwork for some of the approved damage claims. “Lots of things, apparently, quite a few of them negative! Honestly, I never thought I’d ever see the day when you’d save a person’s life, and they’d still sue you for the Sentinel accidentally stepping over their car.”

“Suppose we’ll just have to deal with it, as we always do...” Allura muttered as she lifted her head-up, and reluctantly turned her attention back to her terminal’s screen.

She was about to answer another damage claim—seriously, did all those businesses have a rotating, dedicated staff on-hand to insistently call whoever had wronged them in any way?--when she noticed a new message icon.

It was from Pidge, separated from the others and easily distinguished by the icon of a green chinchilla with a paper envelope in its mouth.

The right thing to do would have been to ignore it and keep on working, read it later when she and Coran had both called it a day with sorting out the inevitably messy aftermath of a Galra attack. It couldn’t have been a priority message, either, as if it were, it would have automatically opened.

But, like so many others before her, she couldn’t help but get curious and click the icon.

The message was simple: <Hey Allura, can I come over to your room and talk with you after dinner, just the two of us?>

The emotions Allura felt afterward was a complex mishmash, overlapping and crashing into each other: Surprise, Elation, Curiosity, Worry, Fear, Confusion, Dread, and finally, Panic.

Coran looked up from manually putting in the few details Pidge’s “paper golems” couldn’t deal with, noticed Allura’s distress, her ears pulled back in worry and beads of sweat already appearing on her forehead.

<Your highness!> he cried as he rushed over to her. <Are you alright?!>

Allura tried to say <I’m fine!> but all she managed was look at Coran with terrified eyes, then point at the message like it was a giant, vicious banana tiger that had appeared in a plantation deep within the walls of Fae settlement.

Coran looked at the screen, and read Pidge’s message. <Ah.>

<She sent this an hour ago!> Allura cried. <An hour!>

<Fret not, your highness!> Coran said. <I’m certain Pidge understands that we’ve been terribly busy here at the Core, and wouldn’t blame you for taking your time responding!>

<How am I supposed to? Do that. Reply to her!> Allura sputtered, feeling all of her years of training in social norms, diplomatic protocol, and grace and wit fly out the window, then die horrible, messy deaths on the street outside. <I mean, this could be anything! Does she just want a friendly chat between us? Is this something much more serious? Or is this her way of trying to make a move, get the two of us alone and somewhere private?

<Do I say yes? Do I say no…? What do I do?!>

<Well, first, I have to ask: do you wish to speak with her in private later?> Coran asked.

Allura groaned. <I do, but there’s still so much work to be done here!> she said, gesturing at the messages still flooding their comm-lines.

Coran beamed and put a hand on his chest. <Leave that to me! They’ll all still be persistently hounding us tomorrow, this is an opportunity that you might not have again! This could be your chance, Allura: make your move, tell her how you really feel, do what Shiro’s been trying and failing to all this time!>

Allura looked at the number of pending communication requests, then at Coran. <Are you sure you can handle this, Coran?> she asked.

Coran looked as grimly determined as a man about to dive deep into the thick of customer service could be. <For you, your highness? I will take on anything.>

Allura smiled. <Thank you, Coran, I am forever in your debt.>

Coran waved her off. <You just go get yourself and your quarters ready for your talk with Pidge! Starting with messaging her back and telling her yes, you will see her back at your room.>

Allura turned back to her terminal, started making a reply. <Right...>

Had the message been from any of the other Rangers—even Shiro—Allura would have made and sent a message back in a heartbeat, warm and friendly, with a reminder that she always available any time they needed her.

As it was from Pidge, she spent the next half hour nervously bent over the holo-keypad of her terminal, discussing and working out her reply with Coran, with all the graveness of a situation room in the middle of a prolonged and brutal war.

<Is the smiley face at the end too much?> Allura asked, her ears drooping in worry. <Maybe it’s too much. Especially because this could be a request for a serious talk, and that might make her think that I think this is going to just be a friendly chat, and then she’d just cancel and find someone else to talk with, and that might end up being Shiro and-->

Coran put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her. <And I think that maybe you should keep the smiley face, add a personal touch to it. That’s how you show interest, don’t you? Give them the special treatment, go the extra mile where you wouldn’t with others.>

Allura frowned. <True…> She sighed. <Eluna, I feel like a teenaged girl panicking over her crush asking her out on a date!> she paused. <… Which isn’t entirely inaccurate, now that I’ve said it out loud...>

<Just calm down, Princess, and we’ll send her the best reply you can give,> Coran said.

And so they returned to discussing Allura’s reply, refining it, editing it, making sure that it conveyed exactly what she wanted it to, and that there wasn’t anything that could be misinterpreted or confuse Pidge in any way, shape or form, till she had the absolutely purest heart of her message, with just the right amount of personal touch and extra effort, without getting too blatant or desperate.

<Sure, Pidge. :)>

<’Brevity is wit,’ to quote one of the Old World’s great writers,> Coran said as Allura sent it.

She sighed as she looked at the holo-display; never had she thought the animation of one of her mice taking an enveloped into their mouth and scurrying off could make her so anxious.

<Message sent!> said Actaeon text on the screen as the mouse stopped and looked quite pleased with themselves.

<There...> she said as she slumped back into her seat. <It’s done. Now all I can do is wait… should I ask her to message me back?>

<Best not,> Coran replied. <There’s really no inconsuspicious reason for you to do so, and when she figures that out, it might strike a match to that legendary curiosity of hers. Then, there’d be no stopping her from prying you open instead of opening up to you.>

Allura nodded. <And here I thought courtship was complicated 1,000 years ago...>

Coran patted her again. <Just be yourself and prepare the best you can, your highness. You know: fluff up your nest, spritz something soothing into the air, maybe even doll yourself up and ‘get into something more comfortable’ as they say in Nivian.>

Allura blushed. <Coran!> she cried.

Coran looked confused. <What? What’d I say?>

<Your suggesting me and Pidge--!> she made a sexy animal noise.

Coran blinked. <When did I say that?>

<’Slip into something more comfortable’ is a euphemism for changing into lingerie, clothes more suitable for>--she made a sexy animal noise--<or just outright stripping naked,> Allura explained, cheeks still burning.

<Is it now? My goodness, only in Nivian could something so innocent and innocuous be given such a lewd spin...> he said as he shook his head.

<Just don’t use it again, Coran…> Allura muttered.

Coran smiled. <I won’t. And if I may point out, it seems you’ve been spending far too much time among the human settlements, too.>

Allura groaned. <I’m leaving!> she said as she got up and made haste for the door. <Good luck with the calls, Coran!>

<And good luck with your and Pidge’s ‘tête-à-tête!’> Coran said as he walked back to his terminal, put his headset back on, and forced a smile on his face. “Rune Terra, home of the Rune Rangers! This is Coran, Maiden Allura’s personal servant speaking, how may I help you...?”

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #48

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Why it sucks to be a snake in space by EboniObsydian for polarspaz Words: 31,825 (8/?) Author’s Summary: It had been a month since the transformations, since the ill trip through an electrical storm transformed the humans into creatures of myth - Shiro became a dragon, Hunk became a troll, Lance became a centaur, Keith became a naga, and Pidge became a gorgon - and there were still things and quirks to get used to. Even so, the castle floors were still cold and slick and Lance still slipped on them when he was unawares. Shiro still scared the heebeegeebeez out of everyone with smoke occasionally emitting from his nose and mouth and his icy touch, Pidge still didn’t dare remove her blindfold around anyone and Hunk still lurked indoors during light hours when planetside. Between him and Shiro though, no one knew whose hoard was bigger. Alternatively titled “Myths in a Space Castle" — Inspired by @polarspaz’s Snakes & Horses AU where Keith is a Naga and Lance is a Centaur. Not strictly adhereing to the AU since Shiro is a chuvash dragon instead of a vampire and Pidge uses female pronouns. Updates sporadically.now you can find me on tumblr! @bucketoffudgeinamuffin My Comments: This is such a FUN fic. It reminds me of a survival fic where characters have to deal with a new and crazy situation and learn how to survive and find food and build a fire and all that. The mythical creatures the paladins turn into are all very fun and interesting and fitting, and the way they have to adapt is so well thought-out and fascinating to read. I’m really enjoying this, and I’m really looking forward to more. This one sucked me in, for sure. The Keith and Lance friendship is especially good, but no one is neglected.

When You Are Alone by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 26,355 Author’s Summary: 5 times Shiro and Ryou disagreed. Updates every other day. My Comments: Part of an excellent, wonderful series in which “Kuron” is redeemed by Team Voltron and stays on as Shiro’s twin, Ryou. This entry is a great exploration of both characters learning to adapt to the changes and exploring their own personalities. Humor, angst, comfort, deep conversations, everything I like in fanfic is there. It’s so good.

humility by bobtheacorn Words: 1,446 Author’s Summary: “Before I turn this on,” Pidge begins, “I’d like to just go on the record and say that Hunk is hands down the best member of this team.” “Seconded,” Lance says without hesitation.Pidge continues, “And his tireless contributions to the emotional well being of his fellow paladins is commendable and beyond reproach. If I had a medal, I would give it to you, Hunk. As a matter of fact, I’m making you one first thing tomorrow.” “Stop, you guys,” Hunk says, and whether he’s feigning being emotional or it’s genuine is hard to say. He’s fanning a hand in front of his face, blinking at the ceiling. His voice is a little choked, “Man, I said I wouldn’t cry.” Keith is sitting beside him on the couch with his arms crossed, bewildered by the formalities. //Keith doesn’t know anything about video games. Outrage ensues. My Comments: This is so cute and funny and adorable. Love these kids hanging out and having fun.

CUPS by SerenePhenix Words: 4,385 Author’s Summary: Coran was willing to sacrifice far more than just his wellbeing for the sake of these young people in his care. Anything to ensure that they could win this war. Anything to ensure they did not have to worry about something like making an alliance. My Comments: When you find a good hurt!Coran fic, you gotta hold on to it, because it’s rare and precious like a jewel. This is great, though of course Coran is kind of an idiot for not just telling someone. But of course he has to be strong. For all the kids. Sigh.

Exploration by luoup (ravenic) Words: 1,573 Author’s Summary: Day 4 Prompt 2: Exploration Shiro & Lance&Hunk: going somewhere new and interesting and fun My Comments: What a great trio! It’s so nice to see them hanging out and chilling and enjoying a cool area. Fun, relaxing read.

in the places where it is soft and quiet by kingwise Words: 2,807 Author’s Summary: Pidge found this rose quartz room one day while exploring what would be her new home. She didn’t quite want to call it that though. Home was rumbling laughter, round glasses, and the smell of frozen peas heating in the microwave. And now, the only thing she had left were the glasses. (When she wore them, it felt like back when she played dress up with Matt. They were a burning memory she clung stubbornly to.) or, where pidge feels terribly sad and misses her family, and lance tries to help in the end (takes place pre-s4) My Comments: Love Lance being such a sweetheart with sad Pidge. Always good to have more of those two.

Sugar Cookies by Gootbuttheichou Words: 2,538 Author’s Summary: Lance is more than thrilled to be attending the Galaxy Garrison in order to become the world’s best pilot; however, he didn’t expect there would be so much studying to do. Luckily, his roommate Hunk is happy to study with him, and happy to bake treats when his friend is gloomy from studying. My Comments: Aw, sweet boys. Hunk is such a good friend. I want them to be roommates in canon so bad, but for now at least I have fics.

Fever Can Wait by oldmythologies Words: 2,138 Author’s Summary: Prompt fill: “Hey there! Can I request a sickfic where Shiro gets a fever so high he starts babbling and gets disoriented. Maybe he gets a cold bath before it gets worse? :O” from crazy-indigo-child on tumblr. My Comments: Really sweet sickfic with delirious Shiro and gentle Keith. Hits the spot.

Fireworks by AmnesiaticRoses Words: 7,397 Author’s Summary: Voltron is treated to a victory party – a planet-wide one. But not all of the locals are celebrating, and are instead looking to exploit the party as the paladins let their guards down. Written from prompts provided from Grimkohai, technically using the one for the third week of October – “Festival” – but if I don’t get this out of my hands I’m going to tweak it into a mess. My Comments: This is an EXCELLENT fic, and the fact that my comment is the only one is an absolute travesty. The action, characterization, and worldbuilding are all fantastic. It feels like an adventure in a place you’ve never been but would like to visit someday. The paladins are all smart and competent, but special spotlight on Lance for being smart and brave while concussed and captured. It’s so good, you guys. Read this fic. Comment. It deserves more love.

as the lion loves the lamb by Demenior Words: 3,986 Author’s Summary: The Lions are powerful, ancient machines that have existed for eons. To be chosen by them is an honor only few have, for they pick only the greatest of heroes to serve them. But to serve a Lion is a life sentence. And a Paladins life is always a short one. The Lions are hungry. My Comments: Seriously horrifying take on what the lions are and what they want. This creeped me out, and it’s pretty rare for words on a page to do that. Excellent stuff.

Cold As Ice (With No Sign Of Life) by PastelClark Words: 1,826 Author’s Summary: It is a dark, terrible thing that only crawls to the surface, like frost over metal, when she is alone. When she feels her paladin go with one of her siblings somewhere far away enough that her hold over the bond fuzzes and fades out, flat-lining into the barest of sensations, and she is left with only herself. And she must be broken, she decides, to feel this way—because she is a leg, meant to be stable and secure and strong, as she has known from the beginning of her creation. Legs do not get paranoid, or frightened, or…or lonely. But she does. When her paladin leaves, the cold sets in. And the cold, it is nothing but lonely. My Comments: Angsty little Blue POV on losing Lance. It hurts.

Chamomile Tea by SerenePhenix Words: 3,937 Author’s Summary: Deciding what’s best for oneself is never easy and just a long process of trial and error. OR: Pidge fucked up and Shiro’s there to help. My Comments: Part of a series, a modern AU where the paladins are roommates and take care of each other. So here’s Shiro taking care of Pidge. Lovely.

Light of the Galaxy by thekingoftrash Words: 5,308 Author’s Summary: Sometimes, it’s the aftermath of freeing a planet that gets you. OR Shiro’s hurt, Hunk’s helpful, and Lance and Keith argue over the proper grammar usage of quiznak. My Comments: Hurt Shiro, supportive team, what else can you ask for?

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by tymedfire for mssstilinski Words: 3,172 Author’s Summary: Lance gets Earth music again. My Comments: Cute fic with the team appreciating dancer!Lance.

Nose Knows by sedna_mode Words: 1,861 Author’s Summary: Following a one-off comment from Hunk about how good his sense of smell is, the team devise a challenge to test him. The only thing is they… forgot to involve Hunk himself. Good thing he’s always up for a challenge, and Hunk is good.And he knows it. My Comments: Absolutely perfect fic based on a preview from one of the comics. I love this view of Hunk and the team.

Made of Stardust by itsthevoid Words: 3,819 Author’s Summary: Altea was destroyed long ago, and since then, Allura hasn’t had a planet to call her home, not even Earth. This doesn’t mean that she’s homeless. My Comments: Really lovely futurefic in which all of Team Voltron gets to go home, even if it isn’t what they expected. I loved the conclusion.

Spring Gifts by wingedflower Words: 3,535 Author’s Summary: Lance is always homesick, but some days are harder than others. Especially this day, when he would give anything in the universe to be back on Earth with his family. For the time being, his space family will have to do. But maybe it’s not so bad after all. My Comments: I adore the way everyone was so supportive of Lance once they realized he was having a rough time, emotionally. They treated his sadness like a wound, something that deserved to be acknowledged and cared for, and they were all willing to drop everything to do it. Just lovely.

Siren’s Curse by Internal_Screaming Words: 2,051 (½) Author’s Summary: Galra are slowly taking over the kingdom, only a few villages stand against the empire, and even those are disappearing quickly.Pidge remembers the day they took her family, and every day since, she had tried to find a way to get to them. Then her answer comes, as she finds Shiro during a storm. She believes this may be her chance to get on land and find her lost family.Galra are a specific race on earth, mermaids and sirens are different species and believed to be myths. Pirates roam the seas and are known to either give no shits about the war against the Galra or have chosen a side. Usually the side being that of the Galra. My Comments: Really cute fantasy AU with mermaids, sirens, humans, and pirates. Fun read, and I’m looking forward to more.

Survivor’s Guilt by Agapostemon Words: 8,281 Author’s Summary: “What were you doing at my house in pajamas this morning?” Shiro groans.“Oh, uh…” Matt stammers, “Y-your boss called me? You didn’t show up to work, and she was worried. And then I got worried, because… your texts last night were a little scary to begin with, but then you didn’t show up to work? Anyways, I drove over to check on you, and your door was unlocked, so…” he gestures vaguely. My Comments: Modern AU in which Matt supports Shiro through PTSD, depression, and a suicide attempt. It’s pretty dark, but with a hopeful ending. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

stillness by bobtheacorn Words: 3,088 Author’s Summary: “You’re all too young to really understand the nuances of Pac man,” Shiro says, trying to get a rise out of them, though it backfires.“Vintage is cool, Shiro.” “Yeah, old things are in! Why do you think we have so much respect for you?” “Oohoho! Pidge!!” //Coran finds something interesting on the scanners and takes everyone on a detour for some well-deserved rest and reflection. My Comments: It’s so nice to see the Voltron crew just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. Fun, relaxing read.

Lost in Translation by EdgarAllenPoet Words: 22,178 Author’s Summary: “Keith shook his head, not knowing how to communicate that he didn’t understand him. Kolivan’s face turned to stone.” My Comments: Keith accidentally goes to an alternate universe and runs into a BoM where no one understands him, and when they do, they don’t believe him. It’s brutal, especially if you’ve read the other fics in this story where Kolivan and Antok are father figures to Keith. Very intense read, I couldn’t stop once I started.

Kiss From a Rose by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 14,176 Author’s Summary: 5 times Shiro got kisses from the team, and one time he returned them My Comments: Absolutely adorable fic, notwithstanding some pain and suffering along the way. All of the platonic kisses were incredibly sweet and cute, and the ending was ridiculously satisfying.

Casting Shadows by BlackFriar Words: 74,777 Author’s Summary: An encounter with an ancient creature leaves Keith a child and Shiro reliving the past. While searching for a way to get their red paladin back, the team uncover a connection between a savage race of aliens and one of the universe’s oldest mysteries…and learn the past is never truly behind anyone. My Comments: This is an absolutely home run of a fic. Intense and horrific at times, but a thrill ride. It weaves together past and present in a great way. This is not a cute, fluffy deaged fic, though. Young Keith is terrified, for good reason, and that never really goes away, though the ending is perfectly satisfying. There’s also a lot about past child abuse that gets really awful at times, and the enemies in this fic are particularly disgusting (think the Reavers from Firefly/Serenity). Warnings aside, though, this is a fantastic fic. Plot, characterization, and worldbuilding are all spot-on. I really enjoyed it.

Muzzled by Emls479 Words: 5,181 Author’s Summary: The blade of Marmora aren’t the only ones with time altering technology. Days on the outside can be months within. Keith finds this out a little too late. My Comments: Holy crap, poor Keith. This was brutal, most especially because from his perspective, he was abandoned by his team, even while they were doing everything they could to rescue him. The comfort at the end was very good, but oh man, Keith goes through some awful stuff in this one.

If It Helps You Breathe by LynnLarsh Words: 5,632 Author’s Summary: A bad night with alien liquor puts Lance in a headspace he’s spent years trying to get out of. It’s a downward spiral that he eventually realizes he needs help dealing with.Trigger warning for self harm. The tags are important on this one. Please tread carefully. My Comments: Warning for self harm, so mind the tags. I really appreciate that Lance sought help on his own, eventually, because I know how hard that is. The hurt/comfort is good, and it’s realistic about how hard it is to deal with issues like this.

Grey by Skiewrites Words: 4,281 Author’s Summary: Grey is a secondary quintessence, made of Black and White quintessences. It represents the movement and manipulation of quintessence from one host to either another host or outside the host in an unnatural form. The most common use for Grey quintessence is during attacks in the form of lightning bolts. The physical representation of Grey quintessence is storm. Lance learns a lot from his family during his childhood, ranging from him being an alien and about the species that destroyed his home planet 10,000 years ago, to the legends of Voltron and the quintessence they use to protect the lion they’re currently hiding with.It’s a shame he never really said goodbye. My Comments: Really interesting twist on the concept of Altean Lance, with great worldbuilding and family interactions. I’d be interested to read more in this ‘verse.

Honest Work by juniperallura Words: 1,365 Author’s Summary: Based on my random HC that Shiro likes to garden because it’s peaceful and dear god someone give that man some rest My Comments: A relaxing little fic with Shiro getting some satisfaction from working with his hands.

cutthroat by buttered_onions Words: 1,363 Author’s Summary: Lance volunteers.(A Voltron/Hunger Games AU.) My Comments: Another amazing AU from buttered_onions, though Hunger Games scenarios always make me sick. There’s going to be more, but this is already brilliant.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Shadows of Stars (33466 words) Coran's Guide to the Care and Keeping of Earthling Humans (37525 words)

[ruffsficstuffplace]

Of Rocks, Romantic Rivalries, and Rune Rangers (Part 8): Sleeping Over and Opening Up

Note: My friend says I hurt every character I write about. They are right.

<Get this room ready for Pidge as quickly as you can, with whatever means necessary,> Allura said to her mice after she returned to her room.

It wasn’t a stern, strict command from a drill sergeant so much as the panicked, desperate plea of someone who was soon to be doomed, like a college student that had just remembered that the deadline for their big term paper was today, not tomorrow.

Her four Celestian mice all saluted her, before they quickly went to work, scurrying all about her room and putting their species’ iconic long, prehensile tails to good use. They put things back into their proper places or shoved them out-of-sight; cleaned up the floors, the walls, and the ceilings; and did their level best to mask or erase or any of the traces of Allura’s more private activities that she really rather would have none of the other Rangers knowing.

(Or in the case of Pidge, not this soon.)

She had to marvel at items her mice were putting away or disposing of: long-forgotten snack containers and empty wrappers, plates, and utensils from the dining hall; depleted batteries and elemental mediums for all the various trinkets she used to amuse herself, both in the innocent and the not-so-innocent sense; and way too many used articles of clothing for her liking, especially because a large number of them were undergarments.

She was starting to regret telling Coran that he could take shortcuts and lessen his workload without repercussion, be much less thorough with his housekeeping duties than a thousand years back.

<Come now, Coran, you don’t have nearly the same amount of help and staff on your side now, and five other Rangers to attend to beside. I’ll survive without daily cleaning! A little dust, some litter, and dirty laundry laying about never killed anyone.>

Oh, if only she’d known just how disgusting she could get, she would have taken up Pidge on the offer of making cleaning golems! Especially now that she realized that she had already seen this disaster area that was her room, the last time she was here and all the other times she had visited...

<That’s a problem for another time, Allura,> she thought to herself. <Focus on now, not then.>

And the problem of the moment was that Pidge was due her any minute.

She’d only had this gigantic headstart because she often ate distracted, studying something or chewing over some conundrum alongside her food, and Allura had been so excited and terrified of the prospect of having her over that she didn’t have much of an appetite, lest all that food go to waste when she vomited from the stress or the excitement—possibly both.

The mice started shoving drawers shut, locking containers, and throwing fabrics or pinning written reminders and documents over the more stubborn or sizable of the messes, before one of them set about spritzing something nice and citrusy in the air, while the rest scoured her wardrobe and pulled out an oversized shirt with a wild, ferocious logo on it.

Allura recognized it as a gift from Hunk, a commemorative T-shirt from one of his, Lance, and Pidge’s favourite bands, ‘The Ice Lords.’ Though it was too small for him now, he had refitted it so that she could wear it as pajamas, and she had sometimes when she was too sleepy to find her usual sleepwear.

<Are you sure about this?> Allura asked as three of her mice stopped before her, holding up the shirt between them like a tarpaulin.

They nodded.

Allura sighed, and began to change into it; she supposed that the strange magical resonance that had developed between them during cryosleep hadn’t led her astray yet, it probably wouldn’t this time either.

The three mice carted off the dress she had been wearing all day and shoved it into a portal leading into the laundry room. The fourth that had been spraying perfume into the air stopped as they started to get overwhelmed by the mist of fragrance, spinning about dizzy with the spray-can tilting them every which way.

Allura caught them before they hit the ground, and put them on the dresser the rest of the mice were waiting on. All together once more, they gave Allura’s room a final sweep.

It was far from pristine, but it did have a comfortable, “lived-in” look about it, like someone did actually sleep and live here, than it being a display model for prospective tenants, or the set for a holo advertisement. The sheer amount of citrusy scent in the air was a bit much, like she was hiding something particularly foul, but she supposed the vents would whisk it away soon enough

She turned to her mice and started petting them on their heads. <Good job, everyone,> she said, before she dug up a surplus of treats for them; the four mice happily took their rewards with their tails, before they scurried off to the miniature model of Rune Terra that was their home.

They scurried on back with two items between them: a jar of peanut butter, and one spoon.

Allura smiled. <Oh, thank you, Pidge, is going to love this!>

The mice all gave her an exasperated look.

Allura frowned. <This is for her, right?>

The smallest of the mice grabbed the spoon in their tail, mimed scooping it into the peanut butter and shoving it into their mouth; then, they handed it to the pink mouse who did the same.

Allura blushed. <Oh.>

The runes on her bedroom door started to glow. The mice noticed, threw the spoon and the jar at Allura, she reflexively caught them both. She watched them scurry off back to their habitat, before she whirled around to face her visitor.

Pidge waved as she stepped in, dressed in a shirt that was a little too large for her frame, and boxer shorts, merchandise from the same band that was on the shirt Allura was wearing. Pidge noticed, and her eyes lit up and chinchilla ears perked up.

<Oh, hey, you’re wearing an Ice Lords shirt too!> she said. <Cool!>

Allura could feel her mice high-fiving and congratulating themselves.

She smiled at Pidge, and said, <Yes, Hunk gave it to me a while back. It’s quite comfortable, actually!”

Pidge nodded as she came up to her. <It’s one of the big reasons I keep supporting the band: they don’t half-ass the raw materials for their stuff.> She groaned. <You wouldn’t believe the kind of flimsy, half-rate components some bands will make merchandise out of, and how much they’ll charge for it just because it has their logo on it, and it was made on their fabricators.>

She paused. <Sorry. Flimsy licensed merchandise is kind of a sour point with me...>

Allura smiled. <Oh it’s fine Pidge! Believe me, I understand completely; I still can’t fathom why humans willingly manufacture anything that isn’t meant to last the year or even a couple of months!>

<I suppose it’s because it’s great for bottom line of the companies making them,> Pidge said. <We’re getting off topic: do you want to to go talk about that thing I mentioned in my message?> She paused. <Or we could not, in case you changed your mind...>

Allura gently put her hands on Pidge’s shoulders. <Pidge, I am absolutely ready to listen to whatever it is you need to say; as I said before, my ears are always open.> She pointed up to her massive bunny ears, then realized she still had the spoon and the peanut butter in her hands.

She quickly held them out. <The mice have even been nice enough to get you this, if you need comfort food.>

Pidge hummed as she took them from her. <Tell them I said {Thanks!}> She gestured at her with the spoon. <You want any? I’ll be cool with sharing a spoon with you.>

Flashes of things involving the spoon, Pidge’s mouth, and peanut butter that weren’t entirely innocent ran through Allura’s mind. <Nope, it’s all yours!> she blurted.

She could feel her mice putting their paws to their faces or throwing them skyward.

Pidge shrugged. <If you say so!>

Allura quickly gestured to her nest, the pillows and cushions all over it thankfully still all fluffed up from Coran’s cleaning up earlier that morning. <Come now, let’s sit down in my nest and have that talk you wanted.>

Pidge nodded. <Should I leave the peanut butter here? I might get it all over your sheets.>

Allura laughed. <Pidge, please: you have my permission to do anything you’d like in my nest!>

Pidge got a mischievous look in her eyes. <Does that include you?>

Allura choked as her cheeks exploded into flames.

Pidge’s ears pulled back as she gave Allura a sheepish smile. <… Sorry, think I caught the Cheesy Joke bug from you and Lance…> she muttered.

Allura let out a painfully awkward laugh. <So it seems...>

The two of them awkwardly laid down in Allura’s nest; the tension quickly disappeared as the two of them got comfortable in it, nestling into the soft cushions and curling up in the silky blankets before they faced each other.

Pidge took a deep breath, and let it go slowly. <I want to talk about earlier today, when I almost killed all of you guys...>

Allura nodded, looking at her and silently urging her to go on.

Pidge looked away for a moment. <You know that I did awful, awful things when I was part of Jahiliyyah, right?>

Allura nodded. <Yes I do, Pidge, and again, we all know you’ve moved on from that.>

Pidge sighed. <That’s just it: I’m not really sure if I have.>

Allura frowned. <What do you mean?>

<It’s...> Pidge groaned and looked to the side. <It’s going to take a while to explain, because it’s all the stuff I cut out from last time, sorry...>

Allura smiled. <Good thing we’ve got all night.> She gently put her hand on her shoulder. <Just tell me, Pidge, I’ll listen.>

Pidge gave her a small smile back, before turned to the ceiling with a far-off look in her eyes. <When Jahiliyyah first recruited me, I was strictly in the hacking and the data-gathering side of it, breaking into databases, making backdoors and exploits into all the latest security systems and protocols, sometimes even hiding in vans or safe-houses, listening in to live wire-taps when we couldn’t trust the job with an AI…

<It was really boring work. I’m still surprised that the Old World movies ever thought hacking and spying could be heart-pumping exciting, something you’d want to watch, that happens in the span of five or so intense minutes rather than long, boring, and drawn-out days.

<I’m not even going to bother telling you what it was like, it was that dull!

<But still, I stuck with it all, because Jahiliyyah promised me that they’d give me information about my family once I proved I was a valuable enough asset to them—anything they had involving Zarkon and the Galra were from high-risk operations, and commanded a proportionately high price.

<It worked for the first three months, but then I started to get impatient, and more importantly, bored. I started working with their experimental magitech division, but even then, there were only so many projects I could be authorized to work on since I was a newbie still.

<’You have potential, we can see that,’ my supervisor told me once, ‘but have yet to earn our trust.’>

Pidge looked down. <My mistake was asking how I could earn it faster.>

<What did they have you do?> Allura asked.

Pidge looked up at Allura, regret clear on her face. <I got into their blackmail and extortion division.

<A lot of the top organizations don’t even put their most sensitive and important information in their databases: they have someone with the appropriate cybernetic mods or an extremely good memory remember it, share it with people face-to-face in a SCIF where we’re effectively blind and deaf--”Gatekeepers,” we called them.

<No one outside of the Galra have found a way to reliably, forcibly extract it from someone’s brain, and Zarkon sure isn’t sharing any of their magtech, so we had to rely on one of the oldest espionage tactics in the book: wine them and dine them, find something incriminating that they will give it up in exchange for our silence, or trick them into accidentally sharing it.

<To be good at this job, you need finesse, charisma, a strong stomach, the ability to bullshit people with a completely straight face, and betray people who trusted in you at the drop of a hat, so Jahiliyyah takes very good care of and rewards their blackmailers and extortionists handsomely.

<They told me that if I could pass the training and prove myself a valuable asset, I could start getting info about dad and Matt within the year, than within five years, at best. And because their kidnapping was still raw in my mind, and I’m still a teenager without fully-developed impulse-control or the ability to comprehend long-term consequences, I caved.>

Pidge went silent. Allura patiently waited for her to continue.

<They start us off easy, you know…?> Pidge muttered.

<Controversial celebrities, corrupt politicians, unscrupulous businessmen—real scum of the realm types, the ones that make you doubt karma really exists. The targets we’d have no little to no qualms about digging dirt on, lulling into false senses of security, setting up traps for—sometimes, we’d even be glad to do it for free, just to see the looks on their faces, see {justice} done on them.

<It helps that they make our jobs so simple. You’ve no idea the kind of juicy material these people will just leave lying around, the security measures they don’t take: if you don’t have publicly released holos of them bragging about all the terrible things they’ve done, it’s easy enough to find the basis of a scandal that even the most jaded and cynical of the realm will cry foul of.

<It helped that I was shockingly effective at that role. No one ever expects the tiny teenage chinchilla Fae to know about what you did last spring, to be the one orchestrating your downfall, to be the one to order her henchmen to do all kinds of horrible things to you, your associates, and your loved ones if you didn’t give her what she wanted…

<… And this is where it all loops back to today.

<You see, to do all of those crimes, I compartmentalized it, made full-on suprevillain alter-ego. {Oh, that wasn’t me, Katie Holt, that was the Carrier Pidgeon, the Jahiliyyah agent revealing to the sweet, innocent spearhead of a political organization that his husband was cheating on him with who was supposed to be the surrogate mother for their child,} I’d say to myself.

<It got to the point where it felt like I was standing to the side watching a movie, this Fae that looks and sounds strikingly like me, but couldn’t be me, because I’d never do something so horrible and then not bothered it in the slightest!>

Pidge’s ears drooped. <I thought I’d left all of that behind when I joined you guys—when I finally found that lead I’ve been praying for, some way to get dad and Matt back. That that was the end of the Carrier Pidgeon, no more ruined lives, no more manipulation and blackmail, no more personally having a hand in making Solaris an even bigger crap-hole than it already is…

<… But now?> she said as she looked up at Allura. <Now, I’m not so sure...>

<Back there, with Mero: what if she didn’t turn me against you guys? What if her magic was just meant to disable whatever part of me was keeping me from going back to my old ways, like flipping off a gun’s safety mechanism? What exactly is it that that I’ve been suppressing or letting loose when I needed to be the Carrier Pidgeon, and what can I do to make sure that never happens again?!>

<I’m scared, Allura,> Pidge whispered, her eyes welling with tears, her whole body trembling. <I’m scared of what would have happened to you guys if Shiro hadn’t tackled Mero to the ground and accidentally figured out the flaw in her mind control.

<I’m scared of what would happen if the Galra manage to turn me against you guys once more.

<I’m scared of myself, because what am I?! A Rune Ranger, or a monster who just thinks she’s one?!>

Allura immediately came over to Pidge and hugged her. Pidge began to wrap her arms around her then stopped, sniffing and hiccuping as she tried to hold her tears back.

<Don’t fight it, Pidge,> Allura said, <just let it come, and it will pass...>

Pidge cried out in frustration, before buried her face in Allura’s chest, her arms wrapping around tight around her, claws digging in tight into Hunk’s old shirt as she started sobbing.

Allura started humming an ancient Actaeon lullaby; the words had long fallen into disuse or changed dramatically since, but like with the Ice Lords, being unable to understand the lyrics never bothered Pidge.