#past two months have been a movie SLUMP

[wuntrum]

gonna see poor things in the movey theater to get me back into my film era...

[mangosrar]

congratulations.

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

tooth rotting fluff ans then smut 😈😈😈

the warm sun was peeking through the window as the curtains danced with the breeze. rolling over and reaching your arm out, you were met with nothing but cold bedsheets, but the smell of pancakes wafting through the house, along with the sound of 'congratulations' by mac miller, revealed the answer to your boyfriends absence.

he hadnt noticed you yet. he was hunched over the counter, his shoulders flexing indicating his concentration. you padded over to him, wrapping your arms around his middle, and placing a nimble kiss to his bare back. "smells good"

"she lives" he exclaimed ,making you giggle, before turning to face you with a toothy grin, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his lips to yours.

"happy birthday" he said softly, pulling away. you pressed your head to his chest and sighed contently, listening to his steady heartbeat, creating a memory that you would think about in years to come, when you were spending birthdays with your children, and grandchildren. he let you bask in the glow of the morning, resting his chin on your head and humming to the song, while his hand travelled up your back, then down again.

"what do you wanna do today?" he asked, putting both hands on the side of your face, pulling you up so you were eye level with him, waiting for the answer to the question he had asked you every single day for the past 3 months. he was adamant that you should have a huge party and make a big deal out of it but you didnt want that. you told him you would decide on the day.

"i just wanna spend it with you" you whispered. his smile grew wider as his eyes studied your face, searching for any sign of uncertainty, and when he found nothing, he pressed his lips to yours again, whispering a soft 'okay' as he did so.

matt had took your words as gospel, he hadnt left your side once. the two of you ate breakfast, opened your presents, got ready and headed out. he took you shopping, he took you ice skating, he had even let you drive his car, upon your request. he had completely spoilt you. it had been the best birthday ever.

it was now later on in the evening and you were slumped on the couch, leaning on matt, with chris and nick on the other end, your favourite movie was playing but you couldnt take your eyes off of matt. for about an hour now he had been fidgeting, bouncing his leg, chewing his nails or messing with your hair. there was something etched onto his face that you couldnt decipher, a deep crease in his brows.

"you okay?" you said softly as to not gain the attention of his two brothers. he looked down at you as he turned and took a deep breath in. he said nothing as he suddenly stood up, grabbing your arm and pulling you down the hallway to his room, without uttering a word to nick or chris, despite their calls of confusion.

once he was inside, he closed the door and made a bee line for his bedside table, opening the drawer and taking something out. you watched him with furrowed brows, trying to figure out if what he was doing was a good or bad thing.

neither of you said anything as he made his way back over the end of his bed and sat down, ushering you over. you found home, standing in between his legs, before running your hands through his hair, making him look up at you, an emotion in his eyes you just couldnt place.

"whats going on?" you asked. matts insides rolled at the softness of your voice, he knew he wanted to do this, there was nothing he wanted more.

"i know i already gave you all of your gifts, but theres one more," he paused, still looking up at you. "i bought it for your birthday last year but it wasnt the right time, however i know that now is the right time, and i dont want to spend a second longer holding on to this." he said. your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as you watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a small box. he kept his eyes trained down, too worried to look at your reaction.

it was a silver ring with a small gem stone sitting in the middle, and the inside of the band had a small love heart with the letter 'M' carved into it. you couldnt help but gasp and bring your hands up to your face. matt watched you with intent eyes, waiting for any sense of distaste.

"matt its beautiful" you whispered. he stood up, grabbing your hand and sliding the ring onto your finger and laying a nimble kiss to the back of your hand.

"now i know im not asking you to a marry me but, this ring is a symbol of promise, and i promise that i will marry you one day, and we will have kids, and big house with a white fence, and a dog and we will spend our nights sitting on the porch watching sunset, because i love you and i wanna spend every singe birthday with you for the rest of our lives." he had cushioned every single word with the strong beat of your heart, each one bouncing off and being wedged into the large space he took up. you couldnt help but let tears pool in your waterline. his eyes bored into yours as a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, waiting for you to speak.

"i love you" you whispered before pressing your lips to his. matt smiled into the kiss as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against him. one of his hands travelled up and rested at the base of your neck as the kiss grew more intense, he pushed his tongue into your mouth and ran it along your lips before tugging your lip between his teeth and pulling away, earning a whine from you.

you watched as he pulled his shirt over his head and doing the same with yours, before turning you around and pushing you on the bed. he stood for a second, admiring you, basking in the glow emitting from your body, before he crawled up the bed to hover over you.

"happy birthday baby" he whispered breathlessly before his lips were on yours again, tongues dancing together, your hands pulling his hair, pulling soft groans from his mouth.

he continued his kissed down your neck and chest while whispering sweet nothings.

"so beautiful"

"i love you so much"

"so good for me"

he was now at your thighs and while you were enjoying this, you needed him.

"matt please" you whined.

"what is it baby, what do you want mh?" he came back up to your face, placing a single kiss on your mouth, waiting for your answer.

"i want you inside of me" he did nothing but smirk at your words before sitting back on his heels between your legs and pulling off your pants, painfully slow.

matt watched through hooded eyes as you squirmed under his intense stare. he was enjoying this too much, watching you become so needy for him.

the second he had pulled off your panties, he was pulling off his boxers and lining himself up. he looked up at you through his lashed, wordlessly checking you were okay. you nodded and he pushed himself into you, bottoming out, causing you both to moan.

he stilled inside you for a second, doubling over, desperately fighting the urge to plough into you. he pulled back for a second, looking at your face and when he saw nothing but pleasure, he pulled his hips back before snapping them into yours again and again and again.

at this point you were a mess, moaning and whining underneath him as he continuously pushed his cock in and out of you, each one being harder than he last.

"fuck baby, doing so well for me" matt said breathlessly as he sat back up, pulling your legs up onto his shoulders and continuing his hard fast thrusts. you let out a moan of his name and he let his head drop back, letting out a deep groan as he did so.

"oh matt, feels so- nhg good fuck" you chocked out. your cracked voice and broken sentence only made matt drive his cock deeper into you, making your back arch off the bed and your eyes roll back.

"fuck y/n i can feel you squeezing me" matt said through a strangled whine. his words were only turning you on more and you could feel yourself reaching an endpoint. you could only moan at his words and paw at his arms, desperately trying to ground yourself.

"matt im so c-close please dont stop" you stuttered. your high was approaching fast and the sight of matt looking down at his cock ploughing into you relentlessly was not helping.

"god baby, look so beautiful taking me" and that was all you needed to hear before reaching your high, letting your legs drop back onto the bed and pulling matt down on top of you, clawing at his back as you basically screamed as you rode out your high. matt left soft kisses on your neck, soothing you, as his thrusts became sloppy and uneven.

you felt his cock twitch inside of you before he shoved his head in the crook of your neck, groaning and letting out desperate chants of your name, painting your insides white and riding out his own orgasm, slowing down his thrusts before he eventually stopped and collapsed on top of you.

he pulled his head up, peppering kisses all over your face, making you giggle before he spoke.

"happy birthday sweetheart"

matthew.sturniolo: happiest of birthdays to the only girl ever. you are my sun and moon, my dreams and nightmares. you’re 20 now but i owe you lifetimes of happiness for the amount you have given me these past 3 years. you are an angel. i thank my lucky stars every day that i met you in this life because heaven would not be the same without you. thankyou for being my sense of consistency when i need you to be. happy birthday sweetheart i love you❤️‍🩹

tagged: y/n.

_______________________________________________

IM BACKKKK😈😈😈😈😈

passed my driving test so prepare to be sick of my ass 🙏🤣🫵

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @urmyslxt @soursturniolo @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @kenleighsbl0g @recklesssturniolo @delimeats-000

[janaispunk]

still bejeweled

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

word count: ~4.4k

summary: after breaking up with your boyfriend, your self-esteem is crushed. your best friend takes you to your favorite bar to take your mind off of things. there's a band is playing there tonight and the singer immediately catches your eye. inspired by taylor swift's bejeweled – and when i meet the band, they ask, 'do you have a man?', i could still say, 'i don't remember'

tags/warnings: explicit smut, only 18+, no/pre-outbreak au, no sarah, musician!joel, small age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel's in his mid 30s), alcohol consumption, joel pulls her hair, able-bodied reader, a bit of angst, fluff, making out, fingering, dirty talk (joel talks you through it, i just know it), praise kink, unprotected p in v (i just didn't feel like mentioning it, this is my fantasy world where pregnancies & sti's don't exist, but they very much exist in the real world, don't do this), joel has a big dick (it's canon), consent king joel, rough sex, ass-slapping, hair-pulling, please let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: this came to me while making breakfast and listening to taylor, and didn't want to leave my head again. pretty self indulgent, i'm fairly certain that a musician!joel in my life would fix me. also, to boyfriends everywhere: fuck you <3

• dividers by the lovely @saradika!

• find my full masterlist here!

You storm out of the apartment, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill over. This is it for good, you tell yourself. It's not the first fight of the sort that you and your boyfriend Max – now ex-boyfriend, you guess – have gotten into, with you usually backing down eventually, to keep the peace between the two of you. You've been together for more than three years, and you had hoped that this might be the one – the guy that you can settle down with, the one that you've been waiting for.

But over the past few months, Max has gotten more distant, less involved in the relationship, less interested in you, making you feel like you're burdening him, like you're always asking for too much. Like you are too much. You had asked several times if something was bothering him, something that you could work through together. Everything's fine babe, I don't know why you're even asking. Stop getting on my nerves with this.

You scoff to yourself. Usually, this was the point where you would step back from the argument, not willing to invest energy in a fight that wouldn't lead to anything anyway. Maybe things weren't perfect with Max, but they were what you knew. Familiar, comfortable. Better than being alone. Maybe not the big love that books and movies told you about, but who knows if that sort of thing even exists.

But today, when he just wouldn't give a shit about anything you said, something inside of you had snapped. “I feel like you don't even love me anymore. Do you?!” you had demanded, and the look on his face had told you everything that you needed to know.

That's how you find yourself on the street in front of your best friend's place, the short walk having somewhat cleared your head. Who does Max even think he is? It's not too much to ask to care about your partner, to show interest in them, to support them, is it? And he hasn't done any of that in quite some time.

All things considered, he just wasn't that great of a boyfriend. Still, you can't help feeling sad about it. Another relationship failed, another guy that just didn't deem you as good enough to pay attention to you. Maybe you're just not that interesting, a voice in your head whispers. You sniffle and shake your head, willing the thought out of your mind.

Your best friend Amanda greets you at her door, immediately clocking your slumped shoulders and reddened eyes, and hugs you tightly while leading you into her living room. Her concern for you elicits another wave of tears and you shakily recap today's events to her. She listens patiently, thankfully not telling you that you're better off without him or something like that, because even though you know that yourself, you don't think you could bear someone else saying it.

“I just can't believe that I'm single again and need to start over once more and I just-,” you bite your lip, willing away the tears that are pooling in your eyes, “I just feel like I'm not enough, like I can't keep a guy or I'm too picky, I don't know. It's just so frustrating, I don't wanna end up alone.”

Amanda's expression softens and she pulls you into her arms again. “You're not gonna end up alone, I promise you. You're funny and smart and,” she looks you up and down, “fucking hot. But you can't settle for less just because you're scared of ending up alone, okay? You're gonna find the guy that's right for you and then it will all make sense. Promise.”

You sigh, not sure if you believe her but also not in the mood to argue. After more talking, during which she eventually slips a glass of wine into your hand, Amanda decides that the two of you should go out tonight. Blow off some steam, show the world and yourself that you've still got it, as she puts it. You're honestly not sure if you've ever had it to begin with, but you let her enthusiasm wash over you, playing along as she insists that you wear one of her skimpiest dresses and starts doing your make up. You feel a little self-conscious with the tiny black dress that she has put you in and the dramatic red lipstick that she's currently applying to your lips.

“Don't look at me like that. You look so good and you'd know that if that fucker hadn't made you feel like you didn't for the past few months. But you've been too good of a girl for far too long now, and we're gonna change that tonight. Deal?” She expectantly holds her hand out for you to shake and you feel the excitement starting to bubble up in you. Maybe she's right and you do need to let go of your insecurities tonight. You shake her hand and she laughs delightedly, causing you to giggle as well.

Amanda finally declares that you're good to go, digging a sparkly handbag that's covered in tiny silvery jewels out of her closet. That one's actually yours, but you had left it at her place a few weeks ago after Max had told you how it was just too much and how you looked ridiculous with it. You had let it slide, thinking that it wasn't worth it to ruin the evening by fighting over a stupid handbag. What was wrong with you, you think to yourself now.

You look at yourself in her full-length mirror and you have to agree, you do look good. The short dress leaves most of your thighs bare, hugging your curves in all the right ways and the lipstick looks amazing, drawing the focus to the shape of your mouth. You do polish up real nice.

Amanda's boyfriend Patricks whistles appreciatively when you both exit from the bedroom and wishes you loads of fun. That's what a boyfriend should be like, you think to yourself. Supportive, loving, and just... kind?

Amanda drags you to one of your favorite bars. You've been here countless times together; usually it's a good crowd and the drinks are cheap. It's live music night, you realize as you walk in and notice the small stage at the far end of the room, which also explains why it's more crowded than usual. You push through a few people and manage to find two seats at the bar, from where you can watch the stage and hear the music, but it isn't too loud to talk.

The bartender comes up to you and Amanda orders tequila shots before you can even open your mouth. “I would've stuck to wine,” you complain to her and she shrugs, a big grin on her our face.

“That wouldn't be half as fun. We're going all out tonight, remember?”

You roll your eyes and nod, but when you down the first shot and bite down on the lime, you can't help the laugh that bubbles up in your throat. “That's my girl!” Amanda giggles and promptly orders another round. After two more shots and feeling the tingling warmth that's spreading through your body, you let your eyes wander around the room until they find the stage.

It's mostly local bands that play here, some better than others, and tonight's isn't half bad. It's four guys, a little older than you, mid-thirties if you had to guess, and their music has an acoustic, country-ish vibe to it. Your eyes linger on the man in the front, who is softly singing into the microphone while strumming along on his guitar.

He's kinda hot, you muse to yourself, gaze trained on the way his muscles are softly flexing while he's plucking on the guitar strings with his large hands, the sleeves of his dark t-shirt straining against his arms. His deep voice is washing over you, reminding you of whiskey and honey, and you squint a little to take a closer look at his face. He has a strong jaw and pouty lips, and dark, expressive eyes that gaze into the room while he's singing. You can't explain it, but something about him just feels... warm. Like he's safe. Kind.

He has a scruffy beard and messy curls, giving him a sort of rugged look, that, combined with his incredibly broad shoulders, has you biting your lip subconsciously. How easily he could cage you in, how big and warm his hands would feel on your body...

Damn, he's really hot. And you really feel the tequila talking right now.

Amanda's fingers appear in your field of vision, snapping impatiently and you turn back to her, heat crawling up your cheeks. You might have been staring a bit too obviously. “Which one?” she grins.

“Huh?” you ask, rather poorly feigning innocence.

“Oh, come on! Okay, I'll guess,” she continues on, not giving you a chance to even try to deny anything, “it's the singer, right?”

“I-,” you start, but the look on her face tells you that it's already a lost cause, “yeah.”

She laughs delightedly and gestures to the bartender for another round of shots. “Oh, I don't think-,” you try to object, but she shushes you.

“I won't rest until you've made a move on that guy, good choice dare I say, and live a little. So drink up!” She toasts to you and you can't help laughing yourself before you tip your head back and swallow the burning alcohol in one go.

You steal another glance towards the stage – maybe a rather extended glance in all honesty – and catch the singer's eye. He holds your gaze for a few seconds, then he lets his eyes wander around the room, before returning to you, his lips curling into a knowing smirk when you're still looking at him.

You hastily tear yourself away, leaning into Amanda in an attempt of hiding how flustered you're suddenly feeling. “That was fucking hot,” she breathes into your ear.

“I know,” you whisper back urgently. Then the insecurity kicks back in. “Do you think he really meant me? I mean, we're all the way in the back here, I bet he can barely see-”

Amanda swats at your arm, shaking her head. “Please, he totally meant you. You're gonna talk to him later, you hear me?”

You groan, “Oh my god,” and lean into her further. “I'm not cut out for all this, I wouldn't even know what to say.” She tsks at you and orders another round of drinks, not taking No for an answer.

You loosen up a little over time, throwing a few more glances towards the stage and delight in the way he always seems to just wait for you to look at him. When you've made eye contact several times, he winks at you and you can't help but giggle, a kind of warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the alcohol. A wide grin stretches across his face as he announces the last song for the night. You give up all pretenses, your eyes basically glued to him until he strums his guitar one last time, then thanks the audience and joins his bandmates as they wander off the stage.

The bands usually pack up, then join the bar's patrons for a few beers. You try not to appear totally desperate and refrain from staring at the door that leads backstage, instead busying yourself with your drink and listening to Amanda, when you feel someone sliding to the bar counter behind you and a hand lands to rest on your shoulder. A very big, very warm hand, you come to notice, before a deep, honeyed voice floats into your ear, causing you to turn around.

“Hi. Can I buy you a drink?”

He seems even bigger up close, and even more handsome, and your lips part slightly, taking him in. You take a beat too long to answer, just sinking into his deep brown eyes, and a grin slowly spreads across his face. “I'm Joel, by the way.” He extends a hand for you to shake and you blink, shaking yourself out of your staring, quickly taking his hand and offering your own name.

His hand dwarfs yours, enveloping it in his warmth and you feel yourself blush. This is the moment, you tell yourself. “I'd love a drink,” you smile at him and he flags down the bartender to take your order. You steal a glance at Amanda, who's nodding enthusiastically.

“So...” Joel drawls when you have your drink, still standing so close to you that you're almost touching, with a smirk playing around the corner of his mouth, “do you have a man, or-?”

Your thoughts briefly flicker to Max, but you find that you can barely remember how devastated you felt mere hours ago, that you can hardly recall his face right now. “No... no, I don't.”

“She most certainly does not, she's all yours,” Amanda chimes in, leaning around you and beaming at Joel.

You can't help but giggle at the entire situation, pleasantly buzzing with both the alcohol in your system and the feeling of having Joel in your direct proximity, and finding him more attractive with every minute that you look at him.

“I really liked your performance,” you tell him and his grin widens.

“Yeah? I could tell, sweetheart.” You laugh; the pet name has your heart soaring in your chest, but you feel completely relaxed with him, not awkward, not desperate to please him or keep his interest. You just feel... good. Really, really good.

Talking to him is easy. He makes you laugh, makes you feel comfortable, and your cheeks almost hurt from smiling so much, but you can't stop. He's constantly touching you, his hand lingering on your shoulder, your arm, sliding down to your waist, and leaving goosebumps in its wake.

When he pulls at your hips to pull you off your bar stool, you quickly follow his lead, letting him sway you around to the music that's now playing from the juke box, giggling the entire time. You feel like a teenager, but you couldn't care less. You're tipsy, you're happy, the easily most attractive man that you've ever met seems to be more than interested in you – you feel amazing.

Joel's hand comes up to cup your face, his calloused fingertips brushing over your cheek and you lean into his touch. His eyes flick down to your lips and your breath stutters in your chest. Your arms wrap around his neck at the same time that he leans in until his mouth meets yours, your lips eagerly opening against his.

A pleased hum is rumbling up in his chest and both of his hands grab at your hips, pulling your body flush against him as his tongue licks into your mouth. Your hands burrow into the messy curls at his neck and you all but whimper against his lips. You feel his mouth curl into a smile before he pulls away, the look in his eyes a little dazed, mirroring your own.

“You you wanna come home with me?” he asks quietly, “I live right around the corner.”

There's no need to even think about it, you want this man desperately. You quickly check on Amanda, who waves you off with a shit-eating grin and some rather crude words of encouragement.

You swing your glittery purse over your shoulder and Joel whistles lowly. “That's fancy. I like it.”

Your eyes widen slightly. “You do?”

“Yeah. Suits you.” A wide smile is spreading across your face and, without a second thought, you grab his hand to pull him out of the bar.

He really lives close nearby and you're stumbling through a dark hallway barely five minutes later. Joel has his hands on your hips and his lips on your mouth, kissing you roughly as he leads you into what you presume is the direction of his bedroom. He kicks the bedroom door shut behind you and crowds you up against the wood, his hands grabbing at your sides, pulling at the dress, revealing more skin to his touch.

The room is dimly lit, yellow light from the street below filtering in through the windows, and his eyes roam over you. “Fuck, you're so hot,” he growls and captures your mouth in another searing kiss, his hand coming up to palm at your breasts, roughly squeezing the flesh and running his thumb over your nipple through the fabric. You mewl into his mouth and he pulls back breathlessly. “You're an eager little thing, aren't you?” he murmurs and you arch your back, trying to press yourself back into his touch.

“Please, Joel,” you whimper and he chuckles before diving back in, his tongue hot in your mouth and his fingers creeping under your dress, toying with the hem of your underwear.

He pulls it aside, his fingers grazing your already soaked folds and you buck your hips into his touch. He slides your dress up higher until his hand comes to rest on your bare hip and he searches your face.

“You're feeling good? You want this?”

You nod eagerly and he tuts softly. “Gotta let me hear it, sweetheart.”

You bite your lip, his respectfulness paired with the dark look in his eyes spurring your arousal on even further. “I want it, please.”

“Good girl, so polite too,” he murmurs and your legs almost buckle underneath you. His hand travels back between your legs, grabbing at your underwear and quickly pulling it off of you, before his fingers are back, sliding through your wetness and circling your clit slowly.

“Fuck, you're dripping. So good for me, all eager and ready, huh?”

The whine that comes out of you sounds faintly like a “yes” and he presses another kiss to your lips, before he thrusts two fingers into you, stretching you deliciously.

“Fucking tight,” he murmurs against your mouth, his voice sounding wrecked already. He sets a languid pace, pausing every so often to curl his fingers deep within you, hitting that spongy spot that has your legs shaking and your hands grabbing at his shoulders as high-pitched whines fall out of your mouth.

You can see the pleased smirk on his face as you're falling apart on just his fingers. His other hand travels up to the straps of your dress, pulling them down and revealing your breasts to him.

His lips suck on the newly exposed flesh and you hear him mutter, “so fucking pretty” against your skin. His mouth travels to your nipple, flicking his tongue over the hardened bud, while his fingers keep thrusting and curling inside of you.

Heat is boiling in your abdomen, licking at your spine and you can almost taste your orgasm already. “Joel, I'm gonna- please don't stop, please,” you manage to breathe out.

“You're gonna come on my fingers, pretty girl?” he asks, before sucking your nipple back into his mouth. “Go ahead, let me feel it.” His thumb starts to toy with your clit in quick, precise circles, and you gasp. The heat spreads through your entire body as your orgasm takes hold of you, your toes curling and your legs shaking while you pulse wildly around his fingers.

“Good girl, you look so pretty when you come,” Joel whispers, trailing kisses from your breasts up to your neck as you slowly come down from your high.

Joel maneuvers you to his bed, supporting your weight and gently setting you down until you're sprawled out on the covers. You can still feel the aftershocks from your orgasm, but your want for him is coursing through you like a wildfire and you eagerly stretch your arms out for him.

He chuckles, mumbling something about you being insatiable and quickly pulls his shirt over his head, revealing golden skin and a body that's obviously strong and muscular, but he still has a softness to him.

You sit back up and scoot closer, your hands flying to his beltbuckle as you press kisses against his belly, reveling in the way his breath hitches and his muscles are twitching under your mouth.

You tilt your head up, silently asking for permission as you tug on his pants and he nods, smiling down at you. You pull his pants and underwear down in one go, desperate to see all of him, and you can't help the soft gasp that escapes your mouth at the sight before you.

He's fucking big, and you should probably worry about fitting all of him inside of you, but instead the fire in your abdomen is flaring up again and you subconsciously press your thighs together.

Joel leans down to you, pulling your already bunched up dress over your head and leaving you just as bare as he is.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” he smirks.

“I- yeah,” you nod, shyly smiling up at him and he pecks your lips.

“Me too.”

He crowds you in, his broad body looming over yours as you lay back down on the bed and his fingers find their way in between your legs again. He grazes your clit, then swirls a finger through your wetness, spreading it on your inner thighs, and your hips buck up into his touch, causing him to chuckle.

“Impatient little thing.”

You can barely form a coherent thought, you're desperate to feel his cock inside of you and you eagerly part your legs when he situates his body between them. He grabs at your thigh, spreading you open even wider, before landing a playful slap against the backside. An almost embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and Joel's smirk turns downright feral.

“You liked that, sweetheart? You like it when I'm a little rough with you?”

He's grinding his hips against you, sliding his cock through your wetness, the tip almost catching at your entrance. You're past the point of caring, nodding mindlessly, you just want him inside of you.

“Fuck, yes, please Joel, please.”

“Should've known,” he mumbles, “it's always the quiet ones. Actin' all shy, but you need it bad, don't you? Gonna fuck you so good, take such good care of you, don't you worry.”

You whimper, your breath catching in your throat when he lines his cock up with your center, his tip already parting your walls, but he stops himself again. “Tell me once more, sweetheart. You still good, still want this?”

“Yes Joel, fuck, I want it,” you whine. The words have barely left your mouth when he slams into you, filling you to the brim. You cry out at the sudden intrusion, your walls fluttering around his length, trying to accommodate him as he's splitting you open. The stretch is intense, bordering on painful, but you still feel yourself getting wetter around him, pain turning into pleasure as he stills inside of you for a few moments to let you adjust.

“Goddamn it, you're tight, you're taking me so good, such a good fuckin' girl.”

His mouth is close to your ear, muttering filth to you with his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin on your neck. Another loud moan falls from your mouth at his words and you clench around his cock that's still buried deep inside of you, causing him to groan.

“Yeah you like that, wanna be a good girl for me, don't you?”

You nod breathlessly and he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back into you, setting a brutal rhythm that's forcing moans from your throat and has you wildly clenching around him. One of his hands is playing with your nipples again, pinching and pulling at your delicate flesh and sending delicious sparks of pleasure straight to your core while he's still fucking you deeply. It's incredible, already easily the best you've ever had, but you still want more, want him deeper.

“Oh my god, p-please Joel,” you stutter.

“Please what?”

“H-harder, please.” He growls at that, pulling himself out of you and flipping you around until you're on your knees, presenting your ass to him. He presses his cock back into you, knocking the air out of your lungs, and his hand connects with the skin on your ass cheek in a harsh slap.

“Knew you were a filthy little thing, fuck, just waitin' around for someone to give it to you hard, huh?” he growls. The way he's talking to you is going straight to your core and you feel a second high approaching rapidly.

His hand tangles in your hair, making a fist and pulling until you're arching your back, slightly changing the angle and letting him hit a spot inside of you that absolutely devastates you. There's stars dancing across your eyes, your thighs are quivering and your walls are pulsing rhythmically.

“Not someone, just- just for you,” you moan out, shuddering around him as another orgasm washes over you, your vision swimming and you're clamping down on him.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Joel mutters, his hands grabbing your hips roughly and holding onto you with strong hands as he stills his movements and spills himself deep inside of you.

You feel almost delirious as Joel hugs you tightly to his body, kissing you deeply before he gently lays you down on the bed. He cleans you up, gets you a glass of water and covers you with a thick blanket before he slides into bed beside you.

His arm wraps around your middle and he pulls you closer against his chest, engulfing you in his warmth and peppering your bare neck and shoulders with kisses. You nuzzle into him, your eyes falling shut as you relax under his soft touches. You can't remember the last time you felt this good. Protected, cared for, happy.

“Sweetheart?” Joel's voice sounds from behind you and you give a little hum. “I know this started out like a one night thing, but-” he pauses, almost sounding a little shy, “promise me that you won't just vanish in the morning, okay?” You smile and crane your head to press your lips against his once more.

“I promise.”

a/n #2: ...yeah, this would definitely fix me. shout out to the real life amanda for being an amazing friend and the best hype woman, thank you for yelling about pedro with me 24/7. also shout out to the real life patrick for being an amazing boyfriend and providing us with insights about the male sexual experience lol. thank you guys for being the best adoptive parents to my third-wheeling single ass. <3

thank you so much for reading! if you liked this, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment!

[lincolndjarin]

Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5

chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here

series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist

a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do

pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader

rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings

word count : 6.4k

summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia

warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.

“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 

“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 

“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 

“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 

Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 

“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 

“Just bring it with you.” 

“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need. 

“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 

You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.

“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 

You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 

What’s stopping you? 

You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 

Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 

But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 

On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 

Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 

Kill him. 

You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 

“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.

“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 

You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.

The bed is empty when you wake up. 

You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 

Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 

“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 

Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 

Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 

“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.

“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   

You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 

Get Ellie ready for school. 

Tend to the sheep. 

Drive Ellie to school. 

You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 

Drive Ellie to daycare. 

Grocery shopping. 

Oil change. 

Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.

Check on Ellie.

Clean the house. 

Make dinner. 

Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.

Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 

She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 

You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 

“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 

Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 

She loves him, that’s why. 

You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 

“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 

“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 

“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 

After all this time, you still never get it right. 

“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 

“Ass.” She says with a grin. 

“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 

With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 

“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 

“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 

“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.

You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 

You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 

“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 

The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 

“Is she my mom now?” 

You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 

“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 

“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 

“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 

“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 

“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 

“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 

“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 

“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 

“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 

Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 

“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 

“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 

“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 

“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 

“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 

“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 

You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 

“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 

“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 

Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 

“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 

“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.

“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.

“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.

“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 

He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 

The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 

Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 

“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 

“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 

You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 

She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 

“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 

“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.

“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.

“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 

She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 

You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 

And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 

Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.

“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 

Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 

The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 

You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 

You’re out of both. 

You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.

Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 

You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 

You didn’t pay attention to the road. 

Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 

He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 

“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 

If you can’t forgive him.

“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 

“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 

“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 

You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 

And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 

Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 

[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 

[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 

The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.

Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 

You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 

This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 

“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”

“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 

“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 

It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 

Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 

He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 

“You- you did all this?”

“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 

“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 

“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 

You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 

You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 

You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.

Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 

You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 

The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.

“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 

“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.

“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 

It’s beautiful. 

“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 

“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 

“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?

“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 

Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 

You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 

You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 

“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 

He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 

“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 

It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 

The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 

As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.

The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 

You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 

“C’mere, bunny.”

a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it &lt;3

i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!

[sunvmars]

citrus | s.r. [4]

pairing: steve rogers x fem/afab reader

↞ previous | next ↠

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none i can think of

summary: steve explains himself

a/n: guys i literally spent two days writing this and couldn’t manage to stretch it to 3,000 words :,) this is not the end of the series contrary to how the end of the fic sounds. also my birthday was on tuesday so i apologize for the late update!

You sigh deeply, not knowing what to expect.

"Alright, I'm listening."

You walk over and sit on the edge of your bed. He follows to stand in front of you, awaiting directions on where to sit. All you give is a shrug and pat the spot next to you on the bed.

"I don't bite," you joke with a smirk.

He returns your smirk with one of his own, "Not typically," he says.

Your heart pounds with anticipation when he sits next to you. Anxiety seeps off of him and threatens to crawl into you.

"So, what's going on?" you question.

Steve takes a deep breath in and then out, trying to find the right words to start with. He knows there aren't any right words to start with in this situation, but he searches his brain for them anyways. He also knows that you probably won't wanna be around him, or with him, again after he tells you what he's been keeping from you. So, he seizes the opportunity to fully take you in: soft and bedridden hair, pajamas that hug your figure, eyes illuminated by the dim lights.

"It's about your past, y/n. And, before I start, I need you to understand that I didn't want to keep this from you but I thought it was the right thing to do," he states, his voice low and steady like he's walking on eggshells.

Your heart skips a beat at his words. Elaine Caldwell, the woman who raised you, wasn't your real mother and you've always know that. She never kept it a secret from you so you were bound to find out, but she wasn't open about your real parents either. She'd always say that she would tell you everything you wanted to know someday when you were ready. Elaine passed only a few months after you turned 18 and left you with all of her belongings, but nothing she owned told you anything about your parents. You have looked for any trace of your parents and family for years, but you always turn up with nothing.

"Do you know something…?"

"I know everything," he admits.

You listen in silence as he begins to tell you everything he knows about your parents, Genesis, and Zepher Hawthorne. You listen in stunned silence as he tells you about how you're the only trace your parents left behind and about how strong you truly are. It's like something out of a movie, you struggle to process everything he's telling you. And when he's done explaining, all you feel is a mixture of confusion, irritation, and fear swirling within you.

"Why now, Steven?" you question with a shaky voice. "Why are you telling me now? Why didn't you tell me before?"

His shoulders slump slightly when his gaze meets yours. He's more than aware that his decision to keep all of that from you hurt you more than he could know. The fact that you're hurt and he's the one that caused it makes him feel unimaginably guilty and regretful. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before responding to you.

"I should've told you earlier, I know, and I'm sorry for keeping it from you. I thought I was protecting you," he admits, his voice filled with remorse. "It's stupid, but I had your best interest in mind, y/n. The whole reason I'm telling you this tonight is because Hawthorne doesn't just suspect you're alive, he knows it now, and he's getting closer to finding you. I wanted to find him before I told you any of this but now the circumstances have changed."

"Hawthorne knows about me?"

"Yes, he does. I got a letter from him two days ago stating that he knows who you are. He's not only aware of your existence, but I think he also knows that you've been with me. And that's exactly what I was afraid of."

"What does he want?" you ask.

Steve's jaw tightens as he tries to choose his words carefully. He doesn't want you to worry too much- that can't be good for you or the baby. Yet, he refuses to lie to you or sugarcoat anything again.

"I don't know for sure, not yet. However, given his history, he might see you as a threat, but it's more likely that he…he could have other motives."

You already know what 'other motives' he's referring to. Hydra isn't very secretive with how they operate; he'd use you as a weapon or an experiment. You find yourself becoming overwhelmed as you contemplate the danger you're in.

"Do you have a plan..?"

"We're working on it. I promise to keep you updated from here on out."

"Who's we?" you ask curiously with an eyebrow cocked up at him.

"Me and Buck," he mumbles.

"No. No, no. One, or both, of you are going to get hurt. We have to tell somebody else, I can't lose either of you-"

"Y/n, we're both going to be fine. We're going to be okay," Steve says, cutting off your rambling. "You're going to be fine," he adds,

"Hydra infiltrated SHIELD once and I won't risk the information getting into the wrong hands. Everything about you relates to your adoptive mother, and that's how it appears in the SHIELD database, so let's keep it that way for right now."

He's right, and you hate that more than anything.

"What about Bucky?" you ask with concern. "He's putting himself in danger to help us, we can't just let him face this alone."

His eyes reflect concern for Bucky just like yours do. "We've come up with a plan to minimize the risks for him and we're staying in close contact. Bucky's resourceful and calculated, plus he's got experience with Hydra. If I even suspect that he needs me then I'll go, but right now I have to be here for you."

"You left me, Steven. Now you decide you have to be here for me? Didn't seem like a top priority a few weeks ago. What changed?"

Steve winces at your words that feel like a punch to the gut. He hates that he hurt you at all and he especially hates that you think he wanted to. He knows he deserves every bit of your anger and frustration, but it doesn't make hearing it any easier. He sighs deeply as he reaches out to gently take your hand. You hesitantly allow him to hold your hand in his.

"I can't take back the pain I caused you, no matter how badly I want to. But I can promise to never keep anything from you again, no matter how difficult or dangerous the truth may be."

You look into his crystal blue eyes and see the sincerity in them. You see more than the truth in him though. Despite the mistakes he's made, you see the man you fell in love with who only wants to protect you. Guilt pangs in your chest at how harsh you'd been, although he likely deserved it.

"I'm sorry, I appreciate your honesty. I'm just confused and angry and…I don't think there's an emotion I haven't felt since we sat down, actually."

"I understand. It's a lot to take in, yeah?"

"There's just one thing I still don't understand," you say before looking over at him.

"And that is?"

"If I've got all these mental abilities, why can't I use them?"

"They could be dormant or suppressed," Steve replies. "It's not entirely uncommon for superhuman abilities to stay hidden until certain conditions are met or an event triggers them."

"I don't want you to try to use your abilities until we know more about them," he adds, "Bruce can probably run some tests for us."

"But what if we run out of time by then? What if he finds me? If he's still with Hydra, we have a better chance of taking them down if I know how to use whatever abilities I have."

"We have time, y/n," he reassures you gently, "Besides, you're in a tower full of superhumans and skilled agents. You're as safe as you can be here."

"I can't just sit here and wait for something to happen, Steve… If there's a chance that I can use these powers to protect us then I need to try."

Steve sighs when he sees nothing but pure determination in your eyes. Being as stubborn and insistent as you can be frustrates him sometimes, but he's well aware that he loves that about you. You're a fighter- you always have been and he only hopes that you always will be.

"Okay," he concedes. "We'll talk to Bruce tomorrow then, hm? We'll see if there's a safe way to test and develop your abilities. But you have to promise me you'll be careful and, if anything goes wrong, it's under my discretion whether or not you fight."

"I don't need you to be my damn father, Steven," you grumble, irritation laced in your voice.

He chuckles at your statement, earning an eye roll from you. "Believe me, I know you don't. But you mean everything to me, honey, and I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you or our baby."

"The baby," you whisper to yourself.

Your hand instinctively moves to your slightly bloated belly as you absorb the situation at hand. The baby growing inside of you, your unborn child, is at risk because of the secrets of your past. You begin to feel selfish for hardly thinking of the baby before you thought about yourself. A frown plants itself onto your lips and it makes Steve frown too. Then, when his words finally sink in, you repeat them almost like a question.

"Our baby…?"

A familiar lump forms in his throat. He finds himself unable to come up with a response, thinking he'd said something wrong. All he can muster up is a, "Yeah, our baby."

"You don't have to say that just to make me feel better, it's only going to make things worse."

"I never didn't want this baby, just like I never didn't want you. I didn't mean what I said earlier. I want both of you forever and I've never wanted anything more," he reassures you, trying his best to offer up a small smile.

"Are…are you sure? You can't take it back again."

"Wouldn't dream of it, I've never been more sure of anything else."

"Steve," you mumble. "I just wish that you had trusted me enough to tell me about this sooner."

"I should have. I should have trusted you with this from the start and I'm sorry for not doing so, but I will fix this, y/n. I'm going to make this right."

You don't respond, unable to find the words to say. He takes that as his cue to say something he probably shouldn't.

"I don't expect you to believe me, but I will do whatever it takes to make this right. And however long it takes for you to forgive me, I'll wait for you, even if that time never comes. You can hate me forever but I will never stop loving you; you're it for me, baby."

He doesn't mean to say it, but there it is. "Baby." Who knew someone could make a word sound so good? It could never sound so good rolling off of someone else's tongue and you hate that. You want to hate him, you want to hit him and fight with him for lying to you, but you can't. You're pissed with him yet all you can find yourself wanting is to be in his arms again- to be his baby again.

"Y/n? Did I say something wrong?"

You're not sure if it's the hormones, his willingness to protect you and the baby, or just you but something urges you to lay your head onto his chest- so you do that. Your head rests on his warm chest and your arms snake under his arms to wrap around his waist. You'd never fully grasped how much you missed the sound of his heartbeat until now. A heartbeat: It's something so simple but it makes your heart feel complete again, like both of your hearts are back in sync as they should be.

Steve's mind blanks and his body stiffens at your sudden movement. At first, he thinks he's simply daydreaming, but then he feels your grip tighten on his shirt. Your body shakes slightly and, even though you're silent, he knows you're crying. You're crying for the second time in twenty-four hours and it's his fault. He slowly, cautiously wraps his arms around you to pull you closer to him.

He lets you cry into him, not saying anything as you do. Sometimes words can't heal wounds and he knows that. He knows he's hurt you, but he's ready and willing to give you all the time and space you want to process everything.

Minutes pass in silence until your tears subside. You pull back slightly from Steve's chest, sniffling as you wipe away your tears. Your eyes make their way up to meet his.

"I just… I wanted to hear your heart again," you confess softly.

"I'm here, and I always will be. I'm so sorry for ever leaving you, y/n."

His eyes soften and he reaches up to cup your cheek. He smiles softly, wiping a stray tear from under your eye with his thumb. You find solace in his touch. You're so, so angry and confused but it's as though the tenderness in his gaze has the power to soothe your ache. In this very moment, it's easier to give in and let him care for you than to fight yourself on it. Honestly, you're not sure how much fight you have left for the day. So, you let out a shaky sigh and then lean into his touch for a moment.

"I know you're sorry, Steve," you reply softly. "And I want to believe you, I really do, but it's going to take time for me to fully trust you again."

"I know, and I'll give you all the time you need. I just want you to know that I'm here now, forever."

"I'm… I'm so angry with you still, and it'll take a while to get over that, but I don't think I have the energy to be angry anymore tonight."

"What do you need from me, honey?"

"Just wanna be us again for tonight," you admit, vulnerability laced in your voice.

"We can do that."

For now, the weight of the truth lingers in the air and so does the pain it's caused. You offer him a faint smile and he returns it with that perfect one of his own. From the way his heart flutters when he looks at you, he can't believe he went without you for so long. His eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes and back again. Then he finds himself wanting needing to kiss you.

"Y/n," he whispers gently, almost so gentle that it's inaudible.

His thumb continues to trace along your cheek. It's a tender caress that says everything he can't put into words. You can feel your heart pounding hard in your chest under the intensity of his gaze. The ache in your heart, the sudden need for his presence, it all becomes overwhelmingly clear.

"I don't want to rush things, but…"

He doesn't have to finish for you to know what he's going to say because you already know. You feel it too- that magnetic pull between you. Without hesitation, you lean in, closing the remaining distance between both of you. The kiss is short and sweet. It's soft and filled with a yearning that has been building up for weeks. It's a kiss that carries the weight of the words neither of you could find it in you to say. It carries the promise that you're still here and that he's willing to fight for you and the baby.

Steve rests his forehead against yours when your lips part. His eyes lock onto yours and he traces your jaw with his thumb. He knows that this doesn't mean things will instantly go back to how they were before, but this moment is one he appreciates anyways.

"Y/n," he coos softly, "I'll spend every day of my life making it up to you if I have to. I'll prove to you that I'll never let you down again."

You offer him another small and weary smile. It's a start, a tiny step towards rebuilding what once was. Neither of you has all the answers or knows what the future holds, but for now you have each other. And that's more than enough.

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[pedge-stuff]

Fic request: Pedro or reader has an intense panic attack in a public. Reader has to talk him through it and calm him down enough so they can leave the event. Holding each other in bed.

clean up, aisle 4 (pedro pascal x gn/m!reader)

a/n: same vague universe as “marked," per usual.

thanks, as always, for everything.

summary: sometimes, you deal with the downsides.

——————————————————————————

"I feel like we tried this and didn't like it."

Pedro inspects the back label on the box— some kinda chickpea flour protein pasta 'alternative' that came less-than-highly recommended by his personal trainer— before re-shelving it alongside the other sad, fake noodles.

The grocery store has become a little bit of a minefield. Gladiator 2 prep was exciting, until the rigorous hours in the gym started requiring a specialized diet. He can't eat carbs, you don't eat meat, both of you love frozen pizza, and neither of you really want to participate in the whole classic disordered Hollywood eating thing. And yet, here you are.

Home-cooked meals have consisted mostly of roasted vegetables and dry, baked proteins. You're attempting to eat "clean" in solidarity with him, but...

"We don't need pasta," Pedro laments, turning away from the shelving altogether. "What's left?"

You pull the notes-app list back up. "Whatever kind of frozen fruit you want for smoothies, plus pitted dates. I'd love those wasabi almonds from last month, but I dunno if they have them again. We could get Skinny Pop, if you want it?"

A grimace. "That's fine."

"We don't have to get it, Pedge."

"It's fine, really. We need something for the movie tonight, right?"

His shoulders slump as he pushes the cart onwards. The back right wheel is making a little squeaking sound, sharp and grating on your last damn nerve. This grocery store feels more and more like a minefield with every aisle turn. The balance between supporting Pedro in his training, and wanting him to just say fuck it and be happy, feels entirely precarious.

"Almonds," Pedro mutters, veering right, around an obnoxiously large Goldfish display and the toddler sobbing loudly in front of it. An obstacle course of bright lights and loud sounds. "Almonds, almonds—"

"Ohmygod, Pedro Pascal."

Immediately, no. Two college-aged, tri delta-looking, fresh-from-the-salon type girls, grinning like they'd won the damn lottery. Fans— no one he actually knows says "Pay-drow."

The wheel squeaks again as they grind to a forceful halt; the girls are standing directly in the path of the cart.

"Should we ask for a picture?" They speak at full volume, to each other, as if he isn't standing right in front of them.

"We have to, for the gram. Oh my god."

"Maybe Deuxmoi will pick it up."

Pedro grimaces as they start rummaging for their phones. He's always generous with his time— sometimes a little too generous, so concerned with hurting peoples' feelings that he'll take selfies through the drive-thru window, or walking the dogs. Even one memorable time, pumping gas.

Only at night, lights off, tucked away, does he ever confess his frustrations. As though he should not want privacy; as though being grateful was more important than being safe. Guilt eats him in ways that you alone cannot heal. All you can do is hold him a little tighter.

A phone is thrust towards you. "Can you take a picture of us?"

Before either of you can react, one girl has her arm over Pedro's shoulder. The other, on his waist. He's never been one to shy away from affection— had been pushing the cart single-handedly, with the other on the small of your back, since the dairy section— but that intimacy does not extend to strangers.

They are laughing, chattering— something about Game of Thrones. You distinctly make out so sexy and slay.

But you hardly register them, instead frowning at your partner as you snap a couple pics without looking. He is frozen, eyes fixed somewhere past you, though he offers a wan smile for the camera. Answers a question you can't hear with a half-hearted laugh, before gesturing to the next aisle. A polite gesture, too far from the fuck off on the tip of your tongue.

Pedro attempts to move away, but the girl's arm is still snaked around his waist. Trapped. She reaches to wrap the other around, attempting to encircle him in a teddy bear-style hug. This, here, is the limit.

With a rough, jerky motion, he forces her off of him. "Sorry, sorry," he says quickly. "We need to go."

"But—"

If you push the cart, and it happens to roll over a perfectly manicured foot, well...

Pedro is a few paces ahead of you, stalking towards the almonds like they owe him a grave debt. His fists clench and unclench at his side.

Not good.

His tells for a panic attack are well-catalogued in your brain. You push the cart to one side, mouthing an apology to the man you almost plow down, before approaching Pedro with caution. His chest heaves as he frowns at the Blue Diamond display, breaths noticeably shallow.

"Pedro." Fighting muscle memory, you don't touch him. Don't want to startle him, though concern burns a hole in your own diaphragm.

"Mm."

"Baby, look at me."

His eyes squeeze shut, instead. "I'm good. I'm good."

"Why don't you go to the car, I'll finish up quick."

"I'm good," he insists, voice cracking.

"It's OK if you're not good."

A hitch in his breath, and Pedro's face crumbles. "Just startled me, is all," he whispers, brown eyes pooling remorsefully. "So stupid. Can't even make it through the fucking supermarket to get my fucking fruits and veggies."

You reach for his hand, lithe fingers prying his clench fist apart. Soothe the red-crescent divots in his palm with the pad of your thumb. Wait for him to continue, as if you're not both standing in the middle of the nuts-candy-and-coffee section.

"Everything is just a lot right now," Pedro says, dragging in a shaky but deeper inhale. His other hand swipes across his cheek.

Mentally, you catalogue how difficult it would be to return the items in your cart; how fast you could retrace your steps, and rush the man home.

You bring his palm to your lips, instead. "Go take a smoke," you suggest. "And then we can get the fuck outta here."

"Someone's gonna post it online again. Everyone's talking about how I reek of cigarettes."

"You have reeked of cigarettes as long as I've known you. They are late to this." Tugging playfully on the hand you still hold, you wait for him to crack the barest, thinest of smiles.

"You still love me, though."

"Enough to fight off anyone else who tries to dry-hump you in this Whole Foods."

Slowly, you both retreat to the abandoned cart. "Can we—" Pedro stops himself, unsure of how to ask.

"Whatever it is, babe, yes."

He pushes forward. "What if I was asking if we could get naked right now and run through the supermarket parking lot so people would think we were crazy and leave us alone forever?"

"Then I'd start untying my shoes. It'd be hard to pull my jeans over 'em."

The wasabi almonds are, finally, pulled from the shelf. You proceed to the freezers. "That's not what I was gonna ask," he admits, grabbing a bag of chunked mango.

"Bummer."

"Can we just get some normal fucking popcorn? If one night's worth of fake butter is what does me in, someone else can be the Gladiator, I give up."

For him? Anything.

[hyuckmov]

haechan — fallingforyou

bestfriend!haechan x reader, (feat. best friend mark, mentions of yeri) 5k, unrequited love angst for the most part, a bit of fluff, a happy ending this time, christmas and new years eve season vibes a/n: this is loosely based on 'fallingforyou' by the 1975 because...'i don't wanna be your friend/i wanna kiss your neck' but also hopefully its a little more than that...this goes out to all of you who've been in love with your best friend :) i'm scared there's more mark than haechan in this LOL also for someone who doesn't write long prose 5k is a little amazing for me </3 lmk if you like it thru my asks!

1 dec

you were only having this conversation with mark because haechan couldn’t make it for movie night. 

movie nights without haechan were a quiet affair. with no one clamoring over which movie to put on and insisting on playing a series of games to decide, with no arguments over snacks or blankets or which lights to turn off, you and mark sat down and easily picked a movie from the watch-list. things were peaceful. until mark decided to bring up a topic you had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t. 

“hey, i have to ask…” he sat up from where he was slumped on the couch. not paying him much attention, you nodded so he knew you were listening. “have you really never had feelings for haechan?” 

turning over to look at him, you groaned. “mark we’ve been through this…” 

he slid off the couch and joined you on the floor, pressing pause on the movie so there was silence instead. “give me your honest answer.” 

you truly, genuinely, hated whenever he brought this up. you hated whenever anyone would ask whether you and haechan were dating, or if he had a crush on you, or any other variation of how are you only friends? truthfully, you hate it because whenever someone asks, you imagine it for a split second: it puts feelings and images in your head that are difficult to forget, and before you know it you can’t act normal around your best friend for about the next two weeks. 

but then you embarrass yourself: you linger too long on his hands over the popcorn, you stare a little too much when he’s across the table during dinner, and haechan notices. he laughs in your face, and that makes you drop any other feelings you have settling in your stomach. business as usual. lather rinse repeat. 

mark is still looking at you, his wide eyes telling you he really wants to talk it out this time. mark is a big believer in having all your feelings out, and in ‘open communication’. you’re surprised that it’s been 4 months since he brought up the issue. 

“mark, just tell me what you want to say.” 

“okay.” he pauses, and you can see him lay out his line of reasoning in his head. “what would you do if haechan told you he had a big project due and he was stuck at the library working on it?” 

“i would go over there and help him.” you say, without thinking much about it. “i did that, actually. literally last week.” 

“okay, cool, you’re a good friend.” mark takes a breath, “what would you do if haechan told you, that right now at this very moment, he really wanted to eat ramen.” 

you raised your eyebrows because that wasn’t out of character for haechan at all. “go over there with ramen in a pot.” 

mark nods, but he’s just warming up. “it’s midnight right now, in case you were wondering. it’s also raining outside, but i’ll move on. how many times have you helped haechan just over this past week?” 

you’re beginning to catch on to what he’s implying. “we’re friends. that’s what good, loyal, friends do. we help each other out!” 

“i’m not finished.” 

“well, hurry up with your point and less with the hypotheticals.” you turn back to the tv, and you are about to press play on the movie when mark asks- 

“do you say i love you to each other?” 

your reply of ‘yes” sticks in your throat. yes you do. frequently. but its a throwaway comment, its how you end phonecalls, its what you say before you step out of the door. neither of you mean it. do you? “we don’t mean it.” you settle on your answer. 

“he might not mean it.” mark sighs. “think about it y/n. you’ve blown off dates with people who were interested in you just because haechan wanted to hang out. you’re with him almost every second of every day. you would drop everything just to do something he asked. you don’t do that for me, that’s for certain.” you open your mouth to protest, and he quickly adds “not that i mind. i know we’re good friends. i’m just saying.” 

“what are you saying?” 

mark takes a deep breath. “you treat haechan like your boyfriend.” 

the words settle in your brain for a second. you want to say you don’t, but you think a little deeper. if you and haechan were in a relationship, what would you do differently? where would things change? we would be kissing you think. then, fuck. why am i thinking about kissing haechan? then, if this is love, then yes i’m in love with him.

but mark hasn’t finished his thought. “you think of haechan as your boyfriend, you act like you’re his girlfriend, and i’m only bringing this up today because…” 

“he doesn’t.” your eyes meet mark’s, and in that second, the both of you understand each other far better than can be put into words. 

10 dec

you really hate that mark brought it up. and this time, it feels a bit different than before, because mark has really made some points. do you act like you’re his girlfriend? should you stop? should you scale back? it would be horrible if you just wasted all this apparent girlfriend-isms on your best friend. 

“is something wrong today?” you’re having your weekly lunches with haechan at the cafe near the library, and he’s sitting across from you, and everything is normal: you’re at your regular seat, with your regular choice of lunch in front of you, and haechan is telling you about some way mark messed up the microwave last night. but also everything isn’t normal, because you’re back in the depths of pondering your relationship with haechan, and suddenly you’re wondering if this could be a date in some other universe. 

“nothing’s wrong.” you poke at your food. “so are you getting a new microwave?” 

“y/n i’m serious. did something happen? you’re being really…” he squints his eyes as he examines you closely, and somehow this makes your cheeks feel warm. you can’t look at him in the eyes. “you’re just…you keep not looking at me. why aren’t you looking at me? do you know something?” 

“know what?” suddenly, you’re attentive: know something? your mind is going wild with all the possibilities, because it’s beginning to sound like…

does he like you and he’s afraid you found out? 

“nothing” he says, far too quickly, and it makes your heart beat a little faster. 

“what are you keeping from me?” now you’re on the offensive, and you watch haechan duck his head to avoid your gaze. 

“i’ll tell you when i’m ready”, he mumbles and checks his phone for the time. “fuck. i have to go for class now.” 

“okay!” you’re a little breathless from all the thinking. an awkward kind of silence fills the space as he puts things into his bag, determinedly not looking in your direction. impulsively, you add, “you can tell me anything, you know that right?” 

“i know that. i guess i’m just…” he shoulders one of the straps on his backpack, and pauses to look at you. “i’m just scared of what might happen.” 

you’re hoping against hope. maybe this time things will be different. “i’ll wait. things will be okay, i’m sure of it.” 

“okay.” he smiles and stands up to go. and before you can lose your nerve, you say, as quickly and hopefully easily as you can: 

“loveyoubye!” 

he turns and his face breaks out into a wide smile. “bye y/n. love you. see you later.” 

maybe you do act like he’s yours. but maybe mark was wrong, because sometimes you think he acts like you’re his too. 

17 dec

it’s been a week, and whatever it was, you’re wondering if that moment in a cafe was completely hallucinated. 

haechan doesn’t bring up whatever he was keeping from you. you don’t want to push him, because good things take time, don’t they? you ask mark if he has any idea what it’s about, but apart from telling you not to get your hopes up, he doesn’t have a clue either. you think you could maybe go on living like this: delusional over the fact that your best friend might like you. ready at any moment to return the feelings but ready at any moment to also pretend like nothing ever happened. 

except maybe you couldn’t, because this whole situation has made the i love yous ever more painful. 

after the next movie night, when you’re about to head to your own flat, you stand around, putting on your shoes and taking them off again while haechan busies himself in his kitchen. mark had already left, leaving you one last skeptical look before he headed out. you want to tell haechan you love him, just to hear him say it back — but every time gets a bit harder because it means something a little realer. “haechan!” 

“yeah?” he walks out, still holding a plate. “get home safe y/n. text me when you get back.” 

“okay, goodnight.” you walk out of the door, and as casually as you can: “love you.” 

“mmhm. love you too.” haechan’s already gone when you turn back. 

as the days turn colder, december seeping into christmas in all its stories of love in the winter and warm fireplaces, it becomes a mini game for you: how many times could you get haechan to say he loved you, just to hear it? ending each phone call with love yous, that you just manage not to stumble over. facetiming at night, and waiting to say it but not getting a chance to as he falls asleep. in the library before haechan’s class, you take too long deciding how you should say it: i love you, or just love you! bye, love you! or love you bye! and haechan has already left, with a wave. 

you say it to his face once: as he’s adjusting the hood on your sweater for you before you leave the restaurant, and his face is so close to yours that you can count his eyelashes. and its so endearing, how his eyes crinkle into a smile, his hands brushing the hair out of your eyes, as he says it back. 

each time he does say it, you let it warm you from the inside out. you let yourself imagine that he means it, and it’s enough for you, just for now. 

20 dec

so your guard is truly down when he shows up to dinner at your apartment. you made kimchi jjigae, haechan’s favorite, and mark had come over too. the plates were cleared, but all of you lingered around the dining table for a while, talking quietly about little things, enjoying the warmth of the living room even as it gets colder and colder outside. 

haechan is a little tipsy from the soju mark brought over. his cheeks are dusted with red, and he’s becoming increasingly touchy: his hands playing with your fingers and his head gently tilted to rest against yours. you like it a little too much, and you could get used to it. you wonder if he’ll tell you he loves you today. 

“mark. y/n.” he swallows. “i asked yeri out today.” 

and just like that, the delusion from the past month, the confidence you’ve gained from knowing your feelings and imagining that maybe he returned them, all your i love yous and all of his, begin to feel like a cruel joke. 

mark is looking at you. carefully, he says, “that’s great haechan. i didn’t know you liked her.” 

haechan smiles: you can feel it against your shoulder. “me neither.” still playing with your fingers, “i think one day, i was sitting next to her in class, and i realised.” 

you think you’ve stopped breathing. normally, your silence would have been suspicious, and he should have noticed: should have turned to you, squinting, trying to figure out your opinion. but clearly you’re the last thing on his mind. “that’s so sweet. what did she say?” you try to sound excited, and you push him off of you like you can’t wait to hear the rest of the story, but really you just want to be away. 

“she said yes.” haechan laughs a little at that, and he’s so happy. “we’re going to the christmas party together. and the new years eve party.” 

mark laughs too, but his eyes never leave your face. “will you she be your new year’s kiss?” 

haechan’s eyes widen. “dude i didn’t even think about that. sure.” he leans back, and looks up at the ceiling and you know he’s thinking about her. you’re not thinking of anything.

later, as you’re both cleaning up the kitchen, haechan stops you gently with a hand on your wrist. he seems to have sobered a little, because the cloudy look in his eyes are gone. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. i was really scared i would make a big deal out of it if i told you and mark, only to get rejected.” he smiles a little. 

you nod a little, not sure how to respond. but then he looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, and he takes your hands in his. “are you mad at me? i’m really sorry. i promise i’ll never keep anything from you again. i love you, and y-you’re my best friend.” 

and instantly, you want to hold on to him so badly that you don’t want to do anything that might drive him away. 

“i’m not mad at you.” and because you’re just a little selfish, you pull him in for a hug. just one last one, before everything changes. “i’m really really happy for you haechan.” and just because you’re such a good friend, the one who puts him before you always, you add as you pull away: “we should probably stop saying i love you. yeri might get the wrong idea.” 

he laughs a little. “you’re right. thanks y/n.” 

x

it’s a mark of how good a friend mark is that he walks haechan to the crosswalk before saying he left something at your place, and doubles back. 

when you swing open the door, the first thing he says is “i’m so sorry, i swear i didn’t know anything. it just happened.” and it’s that which makes it real, and makes you start to cry. he spends the rest of the night patting at your hair as you mess up his hoodie with your tears, his “i knows” punctuating your incoherent rants about how it should be you. because it should be you, but also there’s no reason for it to be, at all. and there’s nothing you can do. 

25 dec

mark solemnly promises he will watch over you for the whole christmas party. “just in case you get drunk and try to ruin yourself, or them.” he says. you tell him you don’t need someone watching you, and tell him to enjoy his christmas night, but he waves you off and slings an arm around your shoulder, for which you are grateful. it’s mostly been you and him this past week, haechan often busy with a date or another activity, and you’re a little grateful for that because seeing him in the flesh makes it hurt far more than all the hypothesizing you do in your head. 

it’s only 2 hours into the party, more people trickling in by the hour, and already he’s started a game with you where you point out possible people for you to go out with. both he and you know you would never make a move, as evidenced from what happened between you and the person we are pretending is not holding hands with his maybe girlfriend right now. but it’s fun to hypothesise. 

“he looks nice.” mark points at a boy you recognise as jaemin, who’s inspecting the back of your television.

“maybe.” you tilt your head, thinking about it. “he has a nice smile. oh and he helped me with calculus the other day — that was really nice of him.” 

“so you know him!” mark beams at you. “you should ask him what he’s doing with your tv.” 

“ask who what?” and the little bubble you’ve been sitting with mark in for the night is suddenly gone, because haechan has wandered over to the two of you, yeri following behind and smiling widely. he’s wearing a red striped sweater, the one that you picked out for him, and it looks so good that you curse a little internally.

“y/n was thinking of asking jaemin out.” mark says, swiftly. his arm tightens around your shoulder, encouraging you to stay calm. 

haechan looks taken aback. “you’ve never mentioned jaemin to me.” 

“i don’t have to tell you everything. you certainly don’t.” it’s a little mean, and not at all how you would speak with him usually but the way his fingers are interlaced with yeri’s is making you feel jumpy and annoyed. mark is giving you wide eyes, but he tries to pass it off with a laugh. 

“sorry. she’s just mean because she’s drunk.” you haven’t had a sip of alcohol the entire night, but you play along, and try to avoid haechan’s eyes. 

“sorry.” you mumble. haechan is still looking at you suspiciously, but yeri presses herself into his side and his expression clears. 

“yeri wanted to say thank you for hosting the party.” he smiles at her, like there’s something the two of them share. you think you’re going to be sick, but mark has been answering for you far too much. 

“thank you for coming. hope you had fun!” you smile as graciously as you can, but you tug on mark’s jacket with your other hand. “sorry, excuse us, we want to go say hi to jaemin for a bit.” 

mark helps you hop off the kitchen counter, steadying you with an arm as you look around the room for ‘jaemin’. the entire time, haechan watches, not sure why he can’t stop noticing how the two of you are acting, and how this is the first time he’s really seen the two of you so close. he wonders when you’ve ever been this comfortable linking arms with mark, or putting your head on his shoulder, and why hadn’t he noticed before? 

“wait-” he blurts out. you look at him questioningly. “be careful.” 

irritated at him, for making you talk to him and look at him like this, you respond “what?” a little too aggressively. you really can’t control it today. 

“with jaemin.” if you were still delusional, which you are trying very hard not to be, you would almost say it was as if he was making up what to say as he was saying it. “i heard he’s really rude. and not nice to date. at all.” 

you raise your eyebrows, because you know that anyone who’s met jaemin would never say that about him. “sure haechan. merry christmas.” 

and just like that, you leave him and yeri in the kitchen, mark guiding you through the crowd easily. jaemin is nowhere to be seen, so the both of you go to your bedroom, where you spend the rest of the night, mark valiantly trying to cheer you up by playing christmas songs for you on the guitar. 

and if haechan slipped away from the party to stand outside your bedroom, listening to you laughing and requesting mark do the high note from all i want for christmas is you again, you were none the wiser. 

but all you did know, was that when you and mark came out of the bedroom to kick everyone out of your apartment, haechan and yeri were kissing under the mistletoe, his hands wrapped around her waist, and her hands cupping his cheeks. you cheer loudly along with everyone else, and give him an aggressive thumbs up when he looks over at you and mark. you’re beginning to think you want to spend new years eve alone. 

31 dec

you were only having this conversation with haechan because the both of you were stuck, in your car, on the way to a new years eve party you swore you didn’t want to go to, because mark couldn’t make it. 

over the phone, he was really sorry. “i had no idea, but i have a family dinner tonight that i can’t get out of it. i’m really sorry y/n. don’t go to the party if you don’t want to.” 

“of course i don’t want to.” spending new year’s eve alone was bad, but it would be worse if you had to watch yeri and haechan kiss to seal their love forevermore as the clock struck midnight. “i’ll watch a good movie, and go to sleep. i might not even stay up for it. it’s just another night.” 

but that didn’t happen. haechan showed up at your door, breathless and panicked. his car broke down, and he had to go to the new years eve party to meet yeri, so could he please please please borrow your car? and could you please please please come with him, because he didn’t want to drive over alone? as you handed him your keys, seated in the passenger’s seat, in last year’s new year’s eve dress and mark’s huge hoodie over it, the words “you would drop everything just to do something he asked” rang in your head. 

would you go to a new years eve party if he asked, one that you weren’t planning on going to, in the middle of the night, even if you knew it would likely bring you immense pain? yes apparently, you would. apparently, you still treated him like your boyfriend when he was about to be someone else’s. 

haechan keeps looking over at you. how do you look so pretty, in the middle of the night, just getting ready for bed? and why are you wearing mark’s hoodie? “i’m really sorry for making you go out like this.” 

you wave him off. “it’s fine.” softer, “you know i’d do anything for you.” 

cars moved slowly around you, and their tail lights shone in a bright red lane all the way down busy highway. very soon, the car was barely moving. the two of you sitting there, stuck, as the clock on the dashboard blinked 11:40. running his hands on the top of the steering wheel, haechan spoke up first. “when did you get so close to mark?” 

“huh?” you’re genuinely confused. “why would you say that.” 

“you’ve just been a lot closer with him recently.” 

“we’ve always been friends.” you don’t want to say anything too cutting, anything that would make the silence in the car too heavy, but there is no other way to put it. “you’ve been busy.” with yeri hangs unspoken in the air — but its true. and you don’t even blame them. if haechan was your boyfriend, you would want to spend every second of the christmas season with him. “mark has just…been there.” 

haechan doesn’t reply to that. the car inches slowly forward. the song that plays from your phone is slow and deep, and when you look at the lights on his face, his eyes unfocused on the road you realise you just want to reach across the seat and wrap your arms around him. 

you think of skipping the song or switching to a christmas radio station, but you can’t bring yourself to ruin it. 

“y/n i.” haechan finally takes a deep breath. “i don’t know if its selfish of me, but i just feel like i’ve been losing you and i don’t know how to be back in your life in the way that we were.” 

the way we were. “haechan, i don’t think the way we were…was very good for us.” 

“what do you mean?” haechan turns, and looks at you. halfheartedly, you point to the road ahead, but the cars aren’t moving, and his eyes are focused on you. 

“have you ever really thought about what we were to each other?” you blame the lights. you blame the song. and you blame the fact that the clock reads 11:49, and you just want to be honest, maybe just for once in this cursed holiday season. “haechan, my life revolved around you. you were everything to me. and all i needed at the end of the day was just, you smiling at me, or you telling me you…” you can’t finish the sentence. you won’t. 

his heart snags on the were. the was. “i didn’t realize.” 

“well it did. and now you’re unhappy because i’m not just waiting for you to reply to my messages, or pick up my calls, because i’m spending time with mark now.” you are picking the entirely wrong fight. the whole argument is wrong, and you know it, but you look stubbornly out at the window. this confrontation was not going to turn into a confession, not when you were both on the way to literally help him kiss someone else. 

“i’m not unhappy.” haechan says, slowly. “i just…” the car behind you honks, and he hurriedly moves the car forward, but soon stops again. traffic on new years eve was impossible. “i lied that day.” you look over at him, unsure what he was talking about. “i didn’t ask yeri out. she asked me out.” 

you take a moment to process this, but it doesn’t really change anything. “okay.”

“and, i guess i never really thought about her that way before. but she just asked, and suddenly i realised that maybe i did like her. it’s weird, it kind of felt like after she asked me out all of our casual conversations in class just took on a different meaning. i’d never even really thought about her that way before, and suddenly it made sense.” 

why was he telling you this ?! you think love truly brings out the worst in people, because you wanted to jump out of the car instantly. you had to be happy for him, and there was no mark to act as a buffer. you’re about to say something, when he continues on. 

“i told you and mark that night because i waited for you to ask me why i really liked her. or really just, i don’t know, help me figure out exactly how i felt about her.” he ran his hand through his hair. “but i guess you just didn’t say anything and i just kind of went with it.” 

“well…” you try to disengage yourself from the situation. it sounded like haechan really valued your opinion, as a friend, and you hadn’t been there for him. “sorry. i guess it just took us by surprise.” you cringe as you realise that by speaking on mark’s behalf, it really did seem as if you were leaving haechan out. “took me by surprise, i mean. well, do you like her?” 

he laughs a little at that. “it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?” 

“it’s never too late to rethink how you feel about someone.” you say, quietly. 

haechan looks over at you, and it’s his gaze: as if he’s looking for the answer in your eyes, that makes you look away. you glance at the clock, and suddenly you freeze. 11:58. you scramble to put on the radio. “fuck, haechan we’re not gonna make it.” 

“y/n-” 

“you should call yeri and tell her you’re going to be late. she’ll be really mad if you don’t show up. she must be really worried-” 

“y/n, please listen to me.” he takes both hands off the wheel, reaches out and holds your face in his hands. the radio announcer has just flickered on: the countdown has started. “i’m just going to say it. that day in the cafe: i was afraid you knew something. actually, i was afraid you realized that i liked you. every day, i would wait for you to say i love you, because i wanted to have a reason to say it, even if it was to say it back. i thought about how much you cared about me and i thought if i thought about you less, if i payed attention to other people, if i let more people into my life, it would be easier just being your friend." 

‘5!’

“but it’s not.” 

‘4!’

“it didn’t get easier, and i just miss you-”

‘3!’

“-every day because i think-” 

‘2!’

“i really think that…” 

‘1!’ 

and he doesn’t even bother finishing his sentence. he leans in, and kisses you. your head is wiped of everything he just said. you don’t think of yeri, you don’t think of mark, you don’t think about the afternoon at the cafe or that moment you saw under the mistletoe. you’re wrapped up in him, in the smell of his perfume. the graze of his fingertips against your cheek. and you reach out over the console, and wrap your arms around his waist like you always wanted to. 

when you break apart, the radio announcer wishing everyone a happy new year, he mumbles. “didn’t get to finish my confession.” 

you laugh and lean forward, to kiss him again. the cars on the road had all stopped, and you think that maybe the whole universe has been waiting for this moment. “i’ll do it for you. i think i really like you haechan. i think i love you.” 

and you think maybe it’s not so cruel, to sit with your best friend, who you are in love with, and who loves you back, the kiss still buzzing on your lips, as you watch the fireworks in the sky, the voice on the radio singing in the new year.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Midnight 

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~4.7k

Summary: Wanda has been gone for work and you miss her

A/N: Hurt/comfort and fluffy fic because I can’t help myselff. 

Warnings: Hurt, comfort, some angst

You’d abandoned the popcorn in front of you long ago as you try to pay attention to the movie playing on the television. It’s Saturday night and you’re in your apartment trying to get out of a funk you’ve been in for a while with a horror movie marathon. It’s not working too well because you’re only on the second movie and your mind has already started to wander. Despite how much junk food you’ve eaten tonight and how excited you were to try and wind down after finals week, this night is a little bit of a letdown.

You only have one semester until you graduate and you can move on to vet school. You wanted to celebrate being finished with finals and finally being able to relax for a while. You did well on them and you should be relieved to be finished, and you are, but you’re also lonely. You’d been lonely these past two weeks, but you’d been able to distract yourself studying for the seven exams you’d had to take. Now that you were done, you had time to think about your girlfriend that you hadn’t seen in far too long.

You had been dating Wanda for a few months now, and to say that they were what you expected would be a complete lie. You had learned during the time you spent together that she was smart, thoughtful, and hardworking. You’d also learned fairly quickly that when she’d said that her schedule was unpredictable, she wasn’t kidding.

Sometimes you’d see her every day a week and you’d spend the night catching up and cooking dinner for each other. Other weeks you saw her twice, and sometimes you went days without seeing her, let alone hearing from her.

After Wanda had admitted that she wasn’t a student, she’d only told you the bare minimum about her job. She said she worked with her brother and they owned the family business that they’d inherited from their parents. When asked what the business entailed, she’d told you ‘a lot of things’ or ‘just boring shipping and manufacturing stuff’ and you got the hint that she didn’t want to tell you.

It wasn’t until more recently, right before her most recent disappearance, that Wanda told you that she wasn’t on the right side of the law. You’d suspected this, but having her tell you that it might be a while before you saw her again made it clearer.

You hated when Wanda went dark on you. When she didn’t text for days, it made the insecurities that you could push away when Wanda was with you come back with a vengeance. You’d question whether or not she actually liked you, and if she was just using work as an excuse to be away from you. Maybe she was seeing someone else who was far better than you were, and this thought put you into a slump similar to what you’re in now.

So yeah, you enjoy spending time with Wanda, but when she’s gone for extended periods of time, you’re at your most miserable. You sigh as you continue to pick at the popcorn in front of you as you consider what Wanda could be doing right now. You hope that work is going well, and that she comes back soon because you could really use a pick me up.

You fall asleep on the couch a little while later so you don’t hear your phone go off. It’s not until you wake up and decide to go to bed that you realize you have a few notifications. You ignore them because you’re too tired and you brush your teeth half-heartedly before crawling into bed. It’s almost midnight and you figure you’ll sleep in tomorrow. That’s the least you deserve from finishing all of your finals.

Wanda frowns as she reaches your voicemail again. She knows it’s late, but she really had wanted to see you today. You’d had your last final today and she hates that she missed the entire two weeks that you’d been so busy. She’d wanted to be here, but work called her away yet again and for far longer than she expected. She sighs as she gives up calling and decides to just check on your herself.

She’d driven over before she’d even gone home, so she’d been sitting for a while. She wanted to lie down, but she also wanted to check on you first to make sure you’re okay. Despite the late hour, Wanda can’t help but worry about you not answering the phone. She climbs the stairs to your apartment and takes note of how quiet it is. She tries to be mindful of this as she knocks on your door and waits to see if you’ll answer.

She checks her phone again before knocking one more time slightly louder. She waits for almost two minutes before she tries the door just to make sure. She’s alarmed when she realizes it’s not locked, and she’s quick to investigate. She opens the door and locks it quietly behind her as she pulls her gun and looks around the dark apartment.

She looks to the kitchen first to see that it’s empty, and the living room is equally so. The night light that you keep in the hall illuminated the area just enough for Wanda to see that your bedroom door was shut. She checks in the bathroom and then the spare bedroom before trying to figure out how to check on you.

She knows that if she surprises you, she might get a fist to the face as well as the neighbors calling the cops. The last time she’d scared you while you were sleeping, you’d screamed so loudly that your neighbor’s dog two floors up started barking.

“Y/n?”

You’re sleeping soundly and don’t hear her as she shuts the door behind her. She sees that nothing’s amiss and figures that you must have just fallen asleep and forgotten to lock the door. She plans on chastising you for this later, but for now she’s mostly just glad to see you again after so long. She sighs and puts her gun away before she reaches out for you carefully.

“Y/n, wake up. It’s Wanda.”

You think you’re still dreaming when you hear her voice and you shift so your face is under the covers. You want to stay sleeping so you can keep hearing Wanda’s voice, but something is trying to pull you from unconsciousness. You grumble under your breath as the covers are pulled away from your face and you roll away in annoyance. It takes you a good three seconds before you realize that someone’s in your room with you. You only keep yourself from freaking out by opening your eyes and turning back around to confirm your suspicion.

“Wanda?”

It’s dark, but you see her standing by your bed with a small smile. She’s dressed for work and looks tired, but she doesn’t hesitate to reach out for you.

“Hey, detka. Good to see you.”

You briefly wonder how she’d gotten into your apartment, but figuring this out quickly becomes unimportant when you realize that Wanda’s here. You haven’t seen her in too long and the excitement is enough to wake you up from your deep sleep and you sit up quickly. You smile widely as you reach out for her offered hand to pull her closer. It’s a little bit of an awkward hug given that she’s still standing, but neither of you mind as you hide your face in her stomach with a happy hum.

“Wanda, you’re here! I’m so happy to see you, but how did you...?”

You trail off as you release the redhead for two reasons. You notice as you hug her that she stiffens, and not in the way you expect. You want to ask about this, but first you would like to know if your girlfriend broke into your apartment. She seems to know what you’re asking and she shoots you a look that makes you wonder what you did wrong.

“The door was unlocked, Y/n. You should be more careful.”

You cringe slightly at the reminder that you’d completely forgotten to lock the door tonight. You had been wallowing in your self-pity and gorging on junk food, so you’d forgotten basic security. Luckily it was just Wanda who had come knocking, but you know that she’s right. You need to be more careful. You nod in agreement before you scoot over a little so Wanda can at least sit down.

 “Sorry, I fell asleep. Here sit.”

You smile as Wanda sits down beside you, but you’re quickly reminded of your second question when you notice that the redhead is still stiff. You frown as you reach out for her again and she realizes she’s caught as soon as you open your mouth.

“Are you okay? You seem tense.”

You know this could be a loaded question given that Wanda is coming off of what was undoubtedly a stressful two-week work stint. She just nods before she takes off her jacket and sets it aside with a sigh. You wait until she stands up again to take off her shoes, and gun before setting them aside. You think you almost have where she’s injured only seconds before she tells you what happened. You’ve always worried about her when she disappears for a while. You know that if she’s working there’s always the risk of her being in dangerous situations. So far, you’d both been really lucky and she hasn’t gotten too injured, and you just hope that tonight you’ll continue to be.

“It’s nothing serious, detka. I’m just a little sore.”

You don’t have time to ask or even let your mind run wild before Wanda’s unbuttoning her shirt. You wait with increasing anxiety as she finally reveals the angry, dark bruise that runs along her ribs on her left side down to her abdomen. You can’t stop the horrified gasp that leaves you when you see it, and you’re already moving to get out of bed.

“Shit, Wands. That looks awful. What can I do?”

You don’t even wait to hear her answer before you’re on your feet and heading to the bathroom. You have some pain meds from when you’d gotten your wisdom teeth removed that you never used. You’d never gotten around to throwing them out, and once you started dating Wanda, you figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang onto them. You didn’t want to use them, but as you return to your room to find her wincing slightly, you’re glad that you have them for her.

“Here, let me go grab you some water. Then I’ll get you a change of clothes.”

“Y/n, it’s okay. You don’t have--.”

Wanda trails off as you shake your head and disappear through the door despite her protests. She just sighs in defeat as she takes off her uncomfortable shirt with a grimace. Despite this injury being a couple of days old, it still hurts like a bitch. She should have stopped by the compound before coming here, but she was exhausted and just wanted to see you as soon as possible. She hadn’t meant to wake you up and make you fuss over her.

“Here, this should help.”

Wanda thanks you before taking the offered medication with a smile. She doesn’t even bother asking what it is, but she hopes it’s something strong enough to put her to sleep for a while. She sets the glass down on the bedside table next to her gun as you bring her a change of clothes. You help her put the t-shirt on before helping her stand to finish getting changed. You wait until she’s under the covers before speaking up, and it’s not until she shakes her head that you go to lie down next to her.

“Is there anything else I can do?”

Wanda reaches out for you and you hurry to her side as she smiles at you gratefully.

“No, thank you. I feel better already.”

You roll your eyes at this as you get settled in bed with a sigh. You are too worried to simply go to sleep, and you can’t help but want to know what happened during Wanda’s absence. She turns to face you and isn’t surprised to see you shooting her a concerned look. She knows she needs to address it, and she will, but first she wants you closer.

“Come here, detka.”

You don’t resist the urge to cuddle close to your girlfriend, but you make sure not to hold her too tightly against you. You let her pull you close and you sigh tiredly before daring to ask.

“What happened, Wands?”

You lie in silence for a bit as Wanda recalls what had happened a few days ago. She’d been working on dealing with a new competitor that was trying to steal her business. They were unorganized and reckless, and confronting them had been as chaotic as expected. Wanda had killed more people in the past two weeks than she had in a long time. She’d been pressured into confronting them before she was ready because she had to stop an attempt at sabotage, and as a result there’d been a blood bath.

Bucky had been shot in the arm, but mostly everyone made it out with just some cuts and bruises. She’d only been injured because she’d gone off on her own to chase the self-proclaimed mobster. If getting hit with a bat wasn’t painful enough, her brother berating her for being reckless definitely made her regret her actions. Whenever he gets on her about something, she knows she’s really screwed up.

She conveniently leaves this part out because she knows you’ll probably get upset at her too. She doesn’t want to fight. She’s just glad that she’s here with you and that she didn’t get too hurt in the process of eliminating an annoying threat.

“Someone snuck up on me, but we took care of them.”

You don’t have to ask what this means, and you frown at the idea of someone hurting the woman next to you. You know that she deals with criminals, professional or otherwise, and they’d likely just shoot you before you could even touch them, but you still fantasize about punching them in the face. You know it’s a little more complicated than you’re imagining, but you try not to worry too much about what Wanda gets up to. You look up to see she’s watching you carefully for your reaction and you just sigh before shooting her a suspicious look.

“Did you see a doctor for this?”

Wanda is at least grateful that she can confirm that she did this. She’d honestly thought that she’d broken a couple of ribs, but luckily they were only severely bruised. She says this and claims that she got scanned and only left with pain meds and orders to rest. You nod at this and smile slightly as you dare to hope that she can stick around for a while. You’d never want her to be hurt, but you won’t complain about getting to have her around for a while as she recovers.

“How long are you around for? I’d hope you’re taking some time to get better.”

Wanda had thought about this for a while before coming to see you. She was told that she should take a couple of weeks, but she knew that this wasn’t going to happen. She was still busy and had some things she needed to do as soon as tomorrow. That said, when she’d left her brother earlier, she’d promised to remain scarce for at least tomorrow. Now that she’s told you what happened, she’d be surprised if you didn’t demand she sit out for longer.

“I’m supposed to take it easy for the week, but I still have work to do.”

You frown at this predictable answer and you’re already trying to figure out how you’ll convince Wanda to hang out for a couple of days. You’d already given her some oxy, so hopefully she’ll at least sleep through the morning, but you didn’t want to keep drugging her to keep her here. You’d prefer if she wanted to hang around opposed to being forced to do so.

“Well work can wait for at least a day. You’ll hang out here tomorrow.”

Wanda just smiles at you before she kisses the top of your head with a nod. She’ll take at least the day to relax with you and recover. Hopefully you didn’t have any plans that she was interrupting. She can already feel herself getting sleepy. She might end up sleeping through most of tomorrow.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You roll your eyes but say nothing as you lie down beside Wanda with a yawn. You are getting sleepy again, and now that Wanda’s taken care of you are able to relax. You close your eyes and breathe in deeply before turning your face into Wanda’s neck with a smile. You’re about to fall asleep to the soothing smell of her shampoo when she speaks up again. You open your eyes in confusion until her words register and you laugh quietly.

“How did your finals go?”

You hum in contemplation before kissing Wanda’s cheek with a smile.

“They were fine, babe. Go to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

Tomorrow comes sooner than either of you are ready for it. Wanda is still asleep at 10, but you need to get out of bed and make some breakfast. You’re careful not to wake her up as you sneak out of bed and retreat to the kitchen. You make sure that the front door is locked, even though you’re sure Wanda locked it, before you start on breakfast. You clean up a little from last night as your food is cooking, and once it’s done you set a plate aside for Wanda for whenever she wakes up.

You eat on your couch as you consider what you’re going to do today. Originally, you’d planned on going grocery shopping before relaxing for most of the day. Now that Wanda was here, you didn’t really want to leave, so you decided to just skip the store and go straight to relaxing.

A little later you’re in bed with your computer on your lap and your headphones in watching a movie. Wanda’s still asleep beside you, and you try not to disturb her as you watch your second favorite horror movie. You don’t notice her stir immediately because the best part of the movie has started, but once she groans and rolls onto her back, you pause it and take out your headphones.

“Hey there, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

Wanda doesn’t answer immediately as she blinks the sleep out of her eyes. She’s exhausted and she feels a little drunk from her extended sleep. She feels the familiar ache in her side and she sighs heavily before scooting toward you with a yawn.

“Tired. What time is it?”

When you tell her it’s nearly 1, her eyes fly open and you think she’d going to jump out of bed. You reach out to stop her as you try to reassure her that she hasn’t missed anything important. You run your hand through her hair as you list off what you’d already checked on.

“It’s okay, Wands. No one’s called you, or me, or shown up demanding your presence. Today’s about relaxing, okay? For both of us.”

You smile as Wanda frowns slightly as she thinks about this. She’s still tired, and she’s sure you’re tired from all of your finals, and given that it’s Sunday she really doesn’t have anything pressing to do. As realization sets in, Wanda lies back down and sighs in defeat before she shoots your computer a curious look. She nearly rolls her eyes when she sees what movie you’re watching. Again.

“I will need to get out of bed for food at some point.”

Wanda watches as you close your computer quickly before tossing it aside with a smile. You shake your head as you move to get out of bed, but you don’t quite make it before Wanda grabs your arm to keep you from leaving.

“I made you some breakfast, but I can also make lunch instead if you’d rather have that.”

Wanda shakes her head before tugging on you lightly with a pout that makes you cave far too easily. You fall back into bed and Wanda moves closer to you with a smile.

“Thank you, but later. I want to cuddle now.”

You can’t help but laugh at this, but you don’t refuse as you get back under the covers and pull Wanda closer. You wonder if the people in Wanda’s life knew how snuggly she was. You decide not to bring it up as you lie down with a groan. You could honestly spend all day in bed. Your brain was mush and your body ached, and you finally had Wanda back. You couldn’t think of anywhere else that you’d rather be.

You don’t realize that you both fell asleep until you are woken up by the sound of knocking reverberating through the room. You groan in annoyance before you realize that Wanda is still asleep. You mutter a curse under your breath as you get out of bed and go to investigate. You close the door behind you before heading toward the sound of increasingly loud knocking. You glance at the clock in the kitchen and realize it’s almost 6. Time for dinner.

“Hi, can I help you?”

You’re unprepared for the person on the other side of the door when you open it. He’s tall, blonde and built like a solider, and you have no idea who he is. If he wasn’t smiling at you, you’d be thoroughly freaked out. That said, you’re on your way there when he speaks up.

“Hi, my name���s Steve. I’m looking for Wanda, is she here?”

You have several questions that you’d like answered before you answer his. How did he know that Wanda was here? Who was he? And why the hell hadn’t you grabbed your phone? You frown feigning confusion before you shake your head in response. You’re not sure if Wanda has ever mentioned a Steve, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. You don’t care who he is because unless someone is dying, Wanda isn’t going back to work today.

“Sorry, you’ve got the wrong place, Steve.”

Instead of appearing apologetic or defeated like you were hoping, he just continues to smile as he looks over your shoulder into your apartment. He knows that Wanda’s here. He followed her here to make sure she got here safely, and now there was a problem that Pietro needed help with. He didn’t want to bother Wanda who he figured was sleeping considering she wasn’t nearby, but he did need her. He sighs quietly before opening his mouth to ask again, but you beat him to it.

“Who did you say you were again? Are you a friend?”

He takes a minute to consider how he should answer this. He’s not sure how much Wanda’s told you. He only recently found out about your existence, but the fact that Wanda was here now is very telling. She must trust you, and like you a lot, but still, she’s probably only told you the bare minimum because she’s always been paranoid.

“Yes. We’re friends and we work together. Steve Rogers.”

The last name doesn’t mean much to you, but he holds out his hand to you, a smile still on his face. He seems genuine, but if being with Wanda has taught you anything, it is to be cautious, borderline paranoid really. Still, you don’t think this man means you any harm. Other than trying to take your girlfriend after you just got her back.

“Nice to meet you, Steve. I’m Y/n, but I’m guessing you already knew that?”

You shake his hand, dropping it quickly as he smiles guiltily at your question. You’re not going to think too much about that and you sigh in defeat before trying to figure out your next move.

“I did.”

“Great, well Wanda’s resting, and she’s going to keep resting at least until tomorrow, so…come back then please.”

Steve opens his mouth to argue, but you shut the door in his face. You know you’re being rude, but you’re not letting Steve stress Wanda out after she slept nearly 12 hours. She clearly needed the rest and you don’t want her running off anywhere only to hurt herself more. You head back to your bedroom and are relieved to see that Wanda is still asleep. You sigh before getting back into bed and trying to relax again.

This lasts for 30 seconds before you hear a phone start vibrating. It’s not yours and you look around only to find Wanda’s phone on a chair in the corner with her folded clothes. You grab it and see that it’s Steve and you sigh in defeat. You answer it and can’t help but smile as you walk back out into the living room.

“Hello?”

“I really need to talk to Wanda, Y/n. “

You sigh loudly before you hang up the phone and walk back to your front door. Unsurprisingly, Steve is still standing there with his phone in his hand and a slightly annoyed look. You shoot him one back before you try to strike a deal.

“What’s so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow? Is someone hurt?”

Steve thinks about this for a second before he shakes his head. He’s not going to tell you the details because you won’t understand since he doubts Wanda told you about what happened to her, but he can tell you’re just as stubborn as he feared when you just frown.

“No, no one is hurt. We just need to talk about next steps.”

“You mean after she killed a bunch of people?”

Steve’s not expecting you to say this and he hesitates before shaking his head. He realizes he’s lying to you though, but you don’t give him time to take it back. You tilt your head slightly before asking the last question you plan to. Unless the answer is yes, you’re not letting Steve leave here with Wanda.

“Is Wanda in danger?”

Steve considers lying, but he’s really no good at it and he can tell you’re probably too smart to fall for it. So he just sighs before shrugging slightly and telling the truth that does nothing to convince you.

“Not any more so than usual.”

You smile at this despite hating the truth of the words and you prepare to close the door again.

“Okay, well not to be rude Steve because it’s nice to meet you, but please leave. Wanda will call you tomorrow.”

Steve just sighs in defeat before he decides to call it quits for now. Pietro can figure this out until at least then, and he can tell short of forcing his way in, he’s not going to get to talk to Wanda. He just offers you a wave before leaving.

“Alright fine. Nice to meet you too, kid.”

You frown at the name, but don’t bother arguing as you shut and lock the door behind him. You sigh in relief before you walk back to your bedroom. That was far more stressful than you anticipated it would be, and you felt wiped out. You notice that Wanda’s shifted since you left, but she was still asleep which you were grateful for. You were not looking forward to try and explain what happened just yet. She needs to sleep, and unless something drastic happens and Wanda is truly needed for an emergency, you plan to keep her here with you for at least the rest of the day. You were promised today, and you’d be damned if it was taken from you.

You kiss Wanda’s forehead and smile widely when she grumbles in her sleep.

“Night, Wands.”

Masterlist

[stvharrngton]

Hi! So context for the request… I started new job at the end of last year and generally I love it but the past two months have been incredibly stressful and then last week we were understaffed, had an internal review and I was left to do the job of three people and not a single supervisor has thanked me for holding down the fort that day AND making lunch AND cleaning it up. And I’m feeling very under appreciated, like to the point where I feel like im no good at my job or even liked. So to the ask, how would steve handle a significant other who is feeling this way and is shutting down about it? I’d be really grateful if you could right something around this bc I just need my comfort character to hold me rn ….

hi my love! i’m so sorry to hear that about your job that sucks so much :( i really hope you enjoy this and it makes you feel a lil better 💝

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none really, burnt out!reader, soft comfort boyfie steeb

taglist: @dukesmebby @saturnband @sweetbabygirlsworld

The sound of the front door of your apartment slamming back against its hinges disturbed Steve from his busy task at the stove. The wooden spoon almost clattering back into the pan with a clang, his eyebrows pinched together as he peered over his shoulder at you.

Steve was concerned. You were never one for slamming doors or loud noises so when he turned round to face you, your slumped shoulders and the defeated look on your face said it all.

Ringing his hands on a dish towel he made his way over to you, comforting palms placed on your forearms as Steve bent at his knees to get a better look at you.

“Everything okay, baby?” He asked, voice all soft and quiet, barely above a whisper.

You could only respond with a half-hearted shrug, sad eyes not able to meet Steve’s warm, inviting one’s. You wanted nothing more than for this day to end, another shitty day at work to top it all off.

Steve’s hands moved to your face then, fingers tucking a stray strand behind your ear, his thumb stroking across your cheek. He chewed on his bottom lip as he watched your eyes grow teary.

“Hey,” Steve cooed, “hey, what’s wrong, huh? You can tell me. Is it work?”

Steve had a feeling, a sinking suspicion you’d had yet another bad day at your job, another day of doing more than they pay you for, another day of not being thanked. He wished you would just leave, find somewhere you’d be appreciated more but Steve knew it wasn’t that simple.

There was no convincing you, he knew that, so Steve would let you rant. He would let you get all your anger out, he’d give you his shoulder to cry on, rub your back and stroke your hair until your sobs turned into sniffles.

Sometimes you didn’t want to talk, your mind too foggy and your eyes too heavy. A night spent in Steve’s arms on your couch, limbs tangled whilst his lips pressed soft kisses against your hairline, the movie on the TV simply serving as background noise outside your bubble.

Tonight was one of those nights.

“You wanna talk about it, sweetheart?” Steve had since pulled you into his chest, the dinner he was prepping long forgotten about. His arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders in a bone crushing hug.

You shook your head against the material of your boyfriend’s polo, the fabric scratching against your already hot cheek. The tears you’d be holding in were now threatening to spill over your lashes, dampening Steve’s t-shirt.

“Okay,” he whispered, his head now resting against your own as you both stood wrapped around one another in your kitchen, “can you tell me what you need? Can you do that for me, baby?”

He knew he had to tread lightly here, gently trying to coax a response from you in this state but his need for you to understand that he was there for you no matter what was immense. In whichever way you needed, it didn’t matter to Steve. All that mattered in these moments was how he could make you feel a tiny bit better.

So you nodded timidly, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the tears from spilling over. A quiet sniffle heard from your nose muffled by Steve’s chest.

“Okay,” you squeaked out, “can we shower? And then just get into bed?” Chin resting against his firm chest now, you blinked up at your boyfriend with big, wet doe eyes. A look that Steve could never say no to.

Steve let his lips rest against your temple before bringing them to your forehead. A final squeeze to your shoulders as he spoke,

“A shower and cuddles in bed coming right up,” Steve uttered with a light tone and a soft smile tugging at his lips, “anything for my girl.”

The mirror began to steam up as the water warmed, Steve not letting you move an inch as he undressed you and showered you in sweet kisses all over your skin. He couldn’t help let the gentle smirk that graced his features when you asked him to step inside with you.

Hot water cascaded down your bodies as the tension of the day left your shoulders, the heavy burden slowly being lifted. Steve’s hands wandered your body as your head rested against his chest, eyes closed, just letting the water and your boyfriend soothe you.

You washed each other’s hair, the artificial scent of strawberries filling your noses, a chuckle bouncing off the glass as Steve grinned at the content noises escaping your lips as he massaged your scalp.

“That feel good, baby?” he asked with a swift peck to your cheek, a toothy grin on his face as a soft smile threatened to tug at your lips.

Hair and bodies washed, Steve held you in the shower a little longer. His hand rubbing up and down your naked back soothingly, a kiss pressed to your hairline before he switched the water off, mumbling something about how he doesn’t want you both to turn into prunes.

You were wrapped up in a fluffy towel before you could complain about the chill, favourite pyjamas in hand as Steve fluffed the towel around your shoulders.

“Let’s get you into bed, pretty girl, come on.” Steve urged before swooping you up in his strong arms, laying you down on the soft sheets. You immediately curled into his side the moment he pulled the comforter over you.

You let him wrap your arms around you tightly, his head resting against yours as he drew soft shapes lightly on your arm. You heard Steve sigh quietly as his eyes scanned the ceiling whilst he thought through what he was going to say.

“You know you can talk when you’re ready, honey,” Steve began, his fingers continued softly against your arm, “but you know you can just leave that shitty job, right?”

An exhale pushed its way past your nostrils, not in discontent but it was just difficult. You loved your job, you did but it was just tough going lately. You were burnt out and feeling under-appreciated and yeah, it was taking its toll on you.

Steve knew this, of course he did, but he just wanted to look after you, to make sure you were happy.

“How ‘bout you come work at Family Video with me and Robin?” He asked, a grin toying at his lips, “Come on, it’d be a breeze and we’d get to spend all day, every day together. Doesn’t that sound amazing?”

A playful smile crept its way onto your features, one that Steve couldn’t see in the dark of his room but one he could feel. Steve let his fingers wander to your ribs, pads threatening to dig into your soft skin.

“Plus, Keith would love having a smokin’ hot girl like you around the place.”

You smacked his shoulder as you scoffed, “Steve, you are not pimping me out to your creepy boss so you can get an easy ride.”

Steve laughed loudly, a sound that rumbled in his stomach up to his chest, “‘M joking, baby. I wouldn’t do that to you. But you know I’m here for you, right? Whatever my girl needs, whenever she needs it.”

You sighed into his chest, a small content noise that filled out the room. Steve pulled you in impossibly closer, as if to offer more reassurance.

“Forever and always?” You asked, voice quiet.

“Forever and always.” Steve replied with a kiss to your forehead before you fell asleep in his arms.

[miraclesabound]

A Thing for Angels

Merry Christmas, @toxicanonymity! I'm your secret Santa for the Pedrostories 2023 Holiday event! I hope you enjoy your gift.

Summary: You and Dieter spend your first night together after a lovely Christmas date. It turns out you two may have more in common than you realize.

Pairing(s): Dieter x F!Reader, mentioned Dieter x Anika x Kate

Notes: This is my first time writing Dieter, and I hope I did our racoon boy justice. This is set after the movie, so Dee is trying to stay sober, but he and Anika and Kate are doing the poly thing, both inside and outside of their trio. Reader is mentioned to be like Anika in some personality ways, but doesn't have to look like her.

Warnings: Mentioned past alcohol and drug abuse, fingering, oral sex (f!receiving), slightest bit of edging, missionary PiV sex, aftercare, description of injuries, Dieter already being a bit lovestruck, mention of the pandemic

Tags: @toxicanonymity, @grogusmum, @writeforfandoms, @oonajaeadira, @phoenixhalliwell, @autumnleaves1991-blog, @blueeyesatnight, @hopeamarsu, @lavenderursa, @littlemisspascal

Anika and Kate had found their local chapter of sober poly events last month, and while they’ve both had plenty of dates, Dieter had been worried that he would strike out if he went to an event alone. Thankfully, at tonight's holiday gallery, he had met you – gorgeous, charming you. He briefly thought he might know you from somewhere, but even if he couldn’t place it, the two of you had a fabulous evening. Now, as you’re pulling him through the door of your house and into a bruising kiss, he knows he’s going to be thanking his wife and his lady for their diligence for weeks to come.

He doesn’t blame you for wanting to go to your place, not his – you’re dressed in a gorgeous outfit, but you’d mentioned near the end of the gallery showing that your feet were killing you. Dieter, as much as anyone, knows how important it is to get home and being able to relax. The relieved slump in your shoulders as you break away from him and get out of your heels doesn’t surprise him at all. You’d mentioned that you used to work an active job, and you’re still not used to not wearing sneakers all the time.

Your smile is somehow even more dazzling than it was at the gallery. “Well, this is the homestead,” you tell him. “It’s not the biggest, but it’s affordable and in decent shape.” Dieter sees what you mean. This apartment is small, but he can see that it’s well appointed and that you have a good workspace. There’s even room for a nice artificial Christmas tree that you’ve decked out in rainbow lights and candy canes.

“Need me to help with anything else?” he asks. You nod, and he moves behind you, helping you shrug off your coat and scarf. You’d worn a rather daring shirt tonight, and Dieter doesn’t miss the opportunity to nibble and bite at your neck once it’s exposed to him.

You giggle at his affections at first, but the laughter morphs into a low moan as Dieter trails his hands down your front, one cupping your breast and the other holding your belly. You’d known what the plan for the night was; Dieter had been upfront with you about that, but there’s a world of difference between anticipation and actually having a pair of competent hands on your body.

You can feel the warmth of Dieter’s breath as he chuckles against your neck. “You like that?” he asks. “You gonna be wet if I unzip those jeans and touch your pretty pussy?”

“Why don’t you find out?” You mean for your voice to come out sultry and husky, but the sound is more whining and desperate than you would have liked.

Dieter doesn’t seem to mind, and with practiced fingers, he gets your jeans open and pushes them and your underwear down your hips. You would worry about stumbling, but Dieter has a strong arm around you. “I gotcha…and how ‘bout that…” He takes a finger and slips it between your pussy lips. “Knew you’d be soaked…”

He knows that if he really pays attention, he could get you off right here in your front hallway, but you’ve invited him into your home – the least he can do is attend to you properly. As you whine in his arms, he rests his chin on your shoulder. “Can we go get comfortable?”

----------

Comfortable apparently means that within five minutes, you’re sprawled on your back, completely naked, gripping your bedsheets tight while Dieter feasts on your cunt. You know he knows what he’s doing, but it’s not just the technique that has your back arching with every swipe of his tongue. It’s the mix of sensations that’s bringing you to the edge over and over again – the coolness of your sheets, the smell of Dieter’s cologne, the way his messy curls are brushing against your thighs…Dieter is enjoying himself too, if the way he’s moaning into your flesh is any indication. “Fuck, you taste good…” he mumbles. “Like…like I don’t know what, but ‘s just perfect…”

“Deeeee,” you moan. “Dee, please, I wanna come…”

“Can you hang on for me, angel?” he asks as he pulls away. He hates withholding anything from you, but he can feel how hard he is and he wants you to get a proper ride out of him before the night’s over. “Wanna give you my cock…”

“Ok…” You scoot back, and Dieter takes the chance to shuck the rest of his clothes and crawl on top of you. In a different context, you might feel like a prey animal being pinned down by a lion, but there’s such a lightness in his demeanor that it’s more like a gentle rain falling on your skin.

“Hey,” you smile, cupping his cheek.

“Hey yourself,” he smiles back, and he turns his face to quickly kiss the inside of your wrist. “You still ok?”

You nod, and his grin widens. “Awesome – c’mere…” He hitches one of your legs around his hip, and you both groan as his cock rubs through your folds. “You ready for me?”

“Yeah…oh FUCK!” Your fingers dig into Dieter’s shoulders as he lines up and slowly pushes inside of you. He’s not so big that you’re in pain, but you always have a slight adjustment whenever you sleep with a new partner. Dieter kisses your cheek in reassurance, still maintaining that careful pace until he’s seated as far as he can go.

“Can I move, angel?”

“Please!”

“Good girl…” With that, Dieter sets a thorough but unhurried pace, feeling how your breath hitches as he passes through certain parts of your pussy. “That the spot?”

“Yes…” that whining edge is back in your voice, but again, Dieter doesn’t seem to mind. Instead he grinds deeper with his hips, making you cry out from the stimulation both inside and on your clit. “Yes yes yes yes!”

“So good for me…” he says, punctuating the statement with another thrust. “Dunno how I got so lucky…can you come for me?”You barely get the words out when you feel the knot pop behind your spine – your orgasm washes over you like a warm bath. You don’t normally come so quickly, but you certainly don’t mind – especially not when the handsome man above you looks like he’s not far behind you. You wrap your arms around him, kissing him deep as he spills inside of you.

--

A few positions and orgasms later, you’re asleep after having a nice hot shower. Dieter is staying the night, and he’s looking around for something to sleep in when he sees a photo of you in an EMT uniform in a frame on your dresser.

Suddenly it clicks for him how he knows you – years ago, you and your crew had saved one of his buddies when he’d fallen off a balcony during a nasty bender. George’s face had gotten plenty fucked up, but thanks to you all, he’d been prevented from a more gruesome injury. No wonder Dieter likes you so much – you make him think of Anika, cool in a medical crisis.

You hadn’t mentioned still doing that line of work when the two of you had talked earlier, and Dieter wonders if the stress of the pandemic made you leave the medical field. However, that’s a question for the morning. As he pulls on a large T-shirt and snuggles into bed with you, he starts mentally planning what he can make for breakfast. After all, what do angels eat?

[sandy-the-glader]

Happy Halloween Stranger

Character: George Karim x Fem!Reader

Type: Fluff

Length: 1.5k words

Summary: George comes across a beautiful Fittes agent he's never seen before. She's there to cure his boredom at the Fittes Halloween party and he wants to know more about her by the minute. Did I mention this is a masquerade and he has absolutely no idea who she is or how to find her?

Trope: Strangers to Lovers

A/n: This was fun to write so lmk if you want a part 2 or smth but this is a special for Halloween. A few more one-shots should come out next month so I'll get on that but like I'm in the mood to write for Mike Schmidt since the fnaf movie just came out soo hit up the inbox lol but anyways Happy Halloween everyone!!

George sat lonely at a table with a glass of champagne in his hand. He watched the dance floor as couples twirled together giggling at each other. One of those couples being Lucy and Lockwood. For the past few months at Portland Row, he had to deal with the constant third wheeling between them. Even on missions or even simple research jobs.

He swirled his drink in his hand and sighed. They had been dancing for hours and having fun by barely giving him a second glance. A mysterious woman seemed to take notice of it. George took a swig of champagne and slumped further into his seat wanting very much to leave the event and entirely disappear. He hated parties, especially a posh masquerade where he didn't know who anyone was beneath the mask.

He would honestly rather be handing out candy to the trick of treaters that came by and he hated that too.

-

I scanned his features well the ones I could see without him taking off his mask. After asking around the party I found out his name was George Karim. He works for the small agency of Lockwood and Co. There was something that drew me towards him. I don't know he looked so lonely and he wasn't like the rest of the guys here.

My feet started to walk over to his table, moving past all the rest of the masked folks. I couldn't care about any of these people here. My team was god knows where and I couldn't tell them apart from the other people here for the life of me. They were probably tipsy and making out with their partners on the dance floor. I want to have a little fun tonight. It was Halloween and I was not about to have a boring and wasted night.

I pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. The boy's eyes were immediately attached to my face out of confusion. They were a beautiful brown and they danced in the light.

His mask was also insanely creative. It was half gray half orange with swirls of black. Some of his dark curls fell over it.

"Some friends you have hm?" I spoke up nodding towards the other two members of Lockwood and Co. which were Lucy Carlyle and Anthony Lockwood. They were much more well-known than George Lockwood always being in the spotlight lately with his amazing achievements and Lucy as his partner in crime. George wasn't in the pictures they had in newspapers, let alone he wasn't mentioned much.

"What?" He quite obviously heard the question he was just startled that someone seemed to be talking to him.

"Your team," I spoke again. "they're out on the dance floor just enjoying themselves but I mean what about you? You look bored and don't seem to be enjoying your time here. Am I correct?" His brown eyes softened beneath the mask and he nodded slowly. He looked skeptical of this conversation but he seemed to be leaning into it. "Look, I've noticed they haven't been over here in perhaps an hour or more."

"Yeah but why is that your concern?" He huffed. I took out a pen and started to draw on a napkin on the table.

"I know I'm right. And you're right too, it isn't my concern but, you haven't told me to leave you alone yet." I pointed out. He sat up.

"Because I appreciated the company." He admitted. I finished writing on the napkin and shoved it in my pocket.

"So George Karim of Lockwood and Co. tell me why you're here in the first place? Since you seem to hate parties so much?"

"They forced me to. They wanted me to get out of the house and do something fun like go to a dance because 'I need someone to love' and dance with. They knew I wasn't going to dance here." He crossed his arms with annoyance.

"How about we dance?" He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me oddly. "Look I'm not saying you gotta love me but if your friends see you dancing and at least looking like you are enjoying yourself, you could go home quicker. I mean that was the whole point of coming here right?"

"And the fact they wanted to have a romantic outing." He rolled his eyes and I laughed. "I suppose that's not a bad idea. But sorry to tell you I don't dance with strangers I need to know who's behind the pretty mask." The flirt took me slightly aback.

"Y/n L/n. Come on Karim. The sooner you dance the sooner you're out of here and you can get back to whatever you were doing before."

"Do we need to shake on it since you're so eager to dance with me?" Oh, so he can joke I thought he almost wasn't able to for a second.

"Hey, I'm trying to save a bored boy at a posh old person's party be grateful." He smiled softly and we stood up. We made our way to the dance floor. He was insanely stiff.

"Do you even know how to dance Karim?" His eyes widen.

"Erm.. no." He said nervously shaking his head.

"It's okay. Lemme help you so you don't look like Bambi on ice." I took both of his hands and guided them to my hips and I draped my arms over his shoulders. "Now you're just going to move your feet in a smooth pattern. And relax your shoulders you look like a brick." He listened to my advice and I noticed him start to relax under my hands. "There you go! Perfect."

"How'd you learn how to dance?" He asked as we swayed. "Just as a kid. I've bounced around many agencies and they always had balls like these." He nodded understanding. "Though Fittes was the only one I stuck with because of its high reputation."

"Do you enjoy your job though?" He asked genuinely curious.

"The job is definitely something I enjoy doing It's just my team I'm not extremely fond of." I frowned. I looked into my eyes wanting me to continue my small rant. "They're always off on their own and they're extremely careless! I want to put my abilities to good use but I can't with them around." I noted.

"I know what you mean. I used to work here and I didn't think very highly of my team either."

"You did? Why don't you work here anymore? I mean not saying your team now isn't lovely." I glanced over across the dance floor at the duo.

"I got fired." He said throwing me off.

"You got fired? Jeez Karim, what did you do?" I said shocked that he would even be considered a problem. He seems so relaxed.

"Because I asked too many questions and was doing things above my pay grade." He said and shrugged his shoulder lightly.

"Fired for being a smarty pants." Cute. "Now that's something I could see. That's idiotic of them though. Your brain could be used for some good things here. But If you're happy at Lockwood and Co. then I'm happy for you." His cheeks flushed slightly and he looked puzzled but happy.

"Thank you." He murmered. I wanted to see the rest of what was under his mask. I took my hands and cupped his cheek and he copied my action. Maybe he was wondering the same thing. Maybe this could be more than a one-time thing. We seemed to get closer to inch closer together.

Lucy and Lockwood stumbled up to us unexpectedly. We backed away from each other. They were tipsy and they were giggling like school children. George looked surprised to see them and waited for them to talk. While George was distracted I took the napkin I drew on earlier and slipped it into the boy's pocket without him realizing.

"Georgieeeee" Lucy wined. "Your girlfriend is pretty but it's late we have to go." She tugged on his shirt and he stumbled.

"Lucy!" He tried to get her to stop yanking him away but she wouldn't budge. He looked backward at me and I waved.

"Goodnight 'Georgie' Happy Halloween." I smiled. He looked upset leaving but that was what he wanted wasn't it? To get home and not have to deal with these people. That was the whole plan.

-

As soon as I got home, I guided Lucy and Lockwood upstairs so they didn't fall they giggled the entire way up. The entire way.

"Goodnight Georgie!" Lucy said before slamming her door. I shook my head and finally entered my room. I collapsed onto my bed. Once I lied down I heard the crinkle of paper. I looked at my bed confused. I cleaned up all my research papers before we left so it couldn't be those.

I felt around the bed and then my pocket. I felt a small indent and I reached into the pocket and pulled it out. There was a small not that said

Just in case you need another dance partner ;)

xxx xxx xxxx

I smiled to myself and placed the napkin on my side table. Defiantly could put that to use later. I ended up having so much more fun than I could have ever thought. Happy Halloween to me.

[xdirtyxlittlexgirl]

Giving Henry Cavill a boudoir book for when he has his long travels away from Reader and they can’t go with him🫶🏻❤️😘

More Than a Love Letter (Part 1)

Pairing: Henry Cavill X Reader

Summary: Henry is away shooting and has been super stressed lately, so you come up with the perfect plan to surprise him

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of depression, angst, body dismorphia, sly smut, and masterbation

Minors DNI

_

It was almost nine in the night, as you sat on the couch in your living room, eagerly awaiting Henry's call. He had been away for months shooting his new film, "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare," and you missed him dearly. This was the hardest part of your relationship. Being away from him while he's at work. Obviously, you can join him, but you've been working too, plus being with him on his shoots in the past, hasn't been the best decision made by you two. He's committed to his work, and you're to yours, and it always is hard to balance it, especially after you started working full-time. Although you did often visit him, but with this particular movie, the director is very particular about having family while working, which is adding more to both of your stress. Finally, the call came through, and you excitedly answered, and got greeted by Henry's handsome face on the screen.

"Hey there, love," Henry said with a tired smile. "Long day on set, but it's good to see your face." You couldn't help but notice the exhaustion in his eyes and the weariness in his voice. You knew he had been through a lot lately, with the scandal of losing his role as Superman and the disappointment of dropping out of his beloved "The Witcher" series. Your heart ached for him.

Henry slumped back in his armchair, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I gotta tell you, this Ministry role is kicking my arse. I don't even recognize myself with all this extra weight and facial hair. I look like my grandpa!" He let out a frustrated sigh. You couldn't help but chuckle, finding his rant endearing. "Baby, come on, you always look amazing, no matter what," you reassured him. Although you knew he suffered through body dismorphia, and this was the last thing he imagined doing, but agreed anyway to give a tribute to his grandfather and aunts and uncles who'd served in the war. "The weight and the facial hair can be managed, and you'll rock that role like the true talent that you are. Plus we discussed this, it is an opportunity to show your diversity as an actor, plus this is your family lineage, it will mean a lot to them too." You add all the good reasons to keep him going, and you see him relax a little. It was working.

Henry's expression softens as he looked at you, his tired eyes lighting up. "Thanks, love. I needed to hear that. It's been tough, you know? Losing those two big roles back-to-back, it's been a blow to my confidence."

"I know hon" you said softly, reaching out to touch the screen as if you could physically comfort him. "But you're so much more than your roles. You're an incredible actor, and your talent shines through no matter what you do. Plus your fans love you dearly too. Don't let these setbacks define you, you never do."

Henry's gaze locks with yours, and you could see the gratitude in his eyes. "You're right, as always," he said, a small smile forming on his lips. "I'm lucky to have you in my corner, princess. I don't know what I'd do without your unwavering love and support." He adds and you couldn't help but blush, feeling a surge of love for Henry. "I'll always be here for you, Henry. No matter what happens, I believe in you. You've got this."

Henry leaned in closer to the camera, his intense blue eyes piercing through the screen. "Thank you baby," he whispered. "Your belief in me gives me strength. I promise I'll make you proud."

The sincerity in his words touched your heart, and tears welled up in your eyes. "You already do, Henry," you said softly. "I'm so proud of you, and I know you'll overcome any challenge that comes your way." Henry's tired expression relaxes, and he reaches out to touch the screen as if he could touch you. "I miss you, baby girl," he said with a strong longing in his voice.

"I miss you too my love" you replied, your voice choked with emotion. "But just a few more weeks, and you'll be home." Henry nodded, his eyes filled with determination. "Yeah, just a few more weeks," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'll make the most of it and give this Ministry role everything I've got."

"I know you will," you said with a proud smile. "And remember, we're all waiting for you to work open arms if you want to just come back. You don't have to do it at the cost of yourself." He nods and then smiles, as he leans in to blow you a kiss through the screen. "Thank you, love. I needed this pep talk. You always know how to lift my spirits." You smiled back and kiss his the screen. "Always and forever!." you winked as he chuckled hearing you quote Klaus from TVD.

You both ended up talking about your day, and you cheered him up by telling him some of the funniest highlights of your day, only to see Henry slowly drift to sleep listening to your voice. You smiled and disconnected, sleeping off yourself as well.

~

Next day you sat in your cozy bed, your mind was consumed with worry for Henry. You had noticed how he hadn't been himself lately, and it hurt you deeply to see him struggling. His recent setbacks with losing out on the Superman role and leaving The Witcher had taken a toll on him, and you wanted to do something to support him. However, you were well aware of his commitment to his work and his dislike for any interference while he was on set. Visiting him was not an option, as it had caused stress in the past when he couldn't spare time for you amidst his busy schedule. He just ended up feeling so much more guilty knowing you're five minutes from him, and he still has to wait ages before getting with you. He was already stressed, and going to see him would just add more to it. So you racked your brain, trying to come up with a way to show him your love and support without causing any disruptions.

Then it hit you. Henry had mentioned how women used to send boudoirs to their husbands during war as a way to remember them, and he had even jokingly suggested that you should create one for him. At the time, you brushed it off as a playful comment, but now the idea seemed to hold more weight. You realized that putting together a care package for him, including some sentimental items, and the boudoir might just be the perfect way to show him how much you cared without intruding on his work. It was an old-school gesture, something that you and Henry had always cherished, and you hoped it would bring him comfort during this challenging time.

You began to gather ideas for what to include in the care package. First and foremost, you knew you wanted to include some heartfelt notes from his family. Henry was very close to his family, and their words of encouragement and love would mean the world to him. Especially from his mum, who is his biggest cheerleader. You also decided to write him a personal letter, pouring out your feelings and expressing your unwavering support. Letters were your thing. It was this way the two of you connected. It has so much more weight and love than a text for the two of you. You knew that words had a special impact on him, and you wanted to remind him of how much he meant to you and how proud you were of him. Something he can read every time he's close to give up.

As you continued to brainstorm, you couldn't help but smile at the thought of including some naughty stuff in the care package. Henry had always appreciated your playful and adventurous side, and you knew it would bring a smile to his face amidst the stress of work. You blushed slightly as you considered what items to include, knowing that Henry was a wild bore when it came to it. So there you were ordering a fleshlight and lube for him. Obviously it wouldn't ever be close to how he feels being in you, but it definitely would help to some extent.

Next you decides to go through some of your intimate pictures with him, which definately did the magic making you wet, as you started to finger yourself thinking about him. Soon you came hard and smirked as you collected the moisture on your panties, which now smelled like you. This is probably the best thing you're gonna be adding in the package for him. He loves the smell of you and smelling your arousal always turned him on.

Thinking about Henry's other favorite things, you decided to include some of his go-to snacks, like his favorite protein bars. You knew how much he loved his workouts and fitness routine, and you wanted to make sure he had some of his favorite fuel to keep him going on set. You also considered including the candle you both usually use while making love, and a small bottle of the perfume you use. As you continued to plan the care package, you couldn't help but get excited about the idea of creating a boudoir for Henry. You knew it would be cheesy, but it felt like the perfect gesture given his role in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, a movie based on the World War era. You thought about taking some tasteful and intimate photos of yourself, maybe even including some of your favorite memories together, to remind him of the love and intimacy you shared. It felt like a vulnerable and personal gesture, but you knew that it would bring a smile to his face and make him feel cherished.

As you finalized your plans for the care package, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation and hope. You hoped that this gesture would show Henry how much you cared for him, even from a distance, and that it would bring some comfort and joy into his life during this challenging time. You knew that he was a man of simple pleasures and heartfelt gestures, and this might just do the trick to uplift his mood.

--

Part 2

A/N: Working on all the requests this week!

[bluestar22x]

Epilogue

Baby Fever - Epilogue

Series Summary: It all started with a classic case of baby fever

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!(Wife)Reader

Rating: 18+ Series

Warnings: Family fluff - that's all you're getting, otherwise spoilers - but keep in mind all previous warnings

Word Count: 2,150(ish)

Author's Note: A peek into the Pike family's future for me and you. :)

There will be one more oneshot coming soon, so keep an eye out, but this is it for the main fic.

xxx

When you parked your car in the driveway you turned off the ignition right away and slumped back in the seat, sighing and scrubbing both your hands over your face.

It had been a long day at work. More than usual. A maid hadn't shown up for work the night before and the hotel, already short handed to begin with and at full capacity with spring break tourists, had been in utter chaos.

You'd had to split your time between your job at the front desk greeting guests and checking them in, and laundry duty, throwing loads in the washer and dryer to help the maids that had shown up. Even then they were only just catching up on the laundry by the time your shift ended.

You were exhausted, more than you'd been in a long time. Not since Rylee had started sleeping her nights, which was well past three years ago.

Three years. Where had the time gone?

You pushed open the driver's door and stepped out, smiling at the excited shouts you could hear over the day's strong winds. For the first time in months the weather was comfortably warm. You followed the sounds through the gate to your backyard, finding Marcus engaged in a very serious soccer match with the kids, Oliver kicking the ball past him into a makeshift goal (built out of two orange cones).

The ten year old boy raised his fists in the air triumphantly and Rylee ran up to him, jumping up and down excitedly. "Go Ollie!"

He grinned at her and offered a hand up for a high five which she gladly accepted, slapping his hand so hard it was loud enough to hear from where you were standing.

"Easy on Ollie, Ry," Marcus said as the boy winced.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly before darting for the ball.

It was then Marcus noticed you standing by the gate and he told the kids to play amongst themselves before joining you.

"How was work?"

"Busy," you replied. "How was your day off?"

He briefly kissed you on the lips before answering. "Good. Good. We might have emptied the ice cream container though."

"Marcus!" You gaped at him. "That was supposed to last us another three days." It had been a fairly large tub.

He shrugged helplessly. "They were still hungry after the mac n' cheese."

"They're always hungry," you reminded him, shaking your head. What did you expect? He had a hard time telling the kids no, especially when they were hungry. Knowing him he'd probably given them the ice cream before dinner.

"I'll pick up some more on my way back home from work tomorrow," Marcus promised, stroking the bottom of your back. Even through the knitted cotton of your work shirt you could feel the warmth of his hand and it helped you relax.

"Thanks," you said gratefully.

"Of course," he murmured.

"How'd Ollie do at school today?" you asked.

Though many schools had a vacation at the moment, spring vacation wasn't for another week for your kids' school.

"No fights today," Marcus informed you. "In fact, Ollie told me he'd like to go see a movie next week with his new friend, Alex Jackson. Promised me his parents would be watching them."

"And their background?" you questioned, knowingly.

"Clean," he said. "But we should still meet them first."

"Of course, papa bear." You smiled. You liked to tease him about how protective he was of the kids, but you were the same.

Oliver had only been yours for a year, including the time you'd spent fostering him, but you both loved him as fiercely as you would've if you'd known him his whole life.

The start had been rough. He'd been from a neglectful home and wasn't used to any rules or much affection, so he'd quickly labeled you and Marcus as overbearing, but he'd slowly adjusted. His school life was rougher for longer though, and he still had a ways to go. He'd been a loner at first, and recently had gotten into several fights, not one for letting anything he considered wrong slide. That included pushing a bully into a locker for shoving the books out of a fellow classmates' hands. He'd nearly gotten himself expelled, but luckily the principle was a bit more sympathetic towards adopted kids.

At least Ollie fights on the good side, you'd thought, though you'd never say the words out loud. Parents weren't supposed to be okay in the slightest with their kids using physical means to fight off other kids. So you were told.

"Saved you some leftovers," Marcus told you.

"Perfect." You weren't being sarcastic. You loved mac n' cheese, even reheated.

You walked over to the kids to greet them, Rylee giving you a big ol' hug, then went inside to eat.

With the stress of work beginning to roll off your shoulders, the memories of a few impatient guests fading away, you realized you were starving.

You dumped a healthy portion of the mac n' cheese stored away in the fridge into a bowl and shoved it into the microwave to heat up for a couple minutes as you glanced around.

The house wasn't too much of a mess. Marcus had done the dishes. Most of Rylee's toys were put away. The place just really needed a dusting. Soon. On the weekend. Not tonight. Definitely not tonight.

The microwave beeped and you quickly yanked the bowl out of it with kitchen mitts. You didn't even sit down to gobble it up, but you did use a fork.

You were putting the bowl in the dishwasher when Marcus and the kids came in for the night. Ollie got ready for bed on his own and Marcus helped Rylee, though she was getting pretty good at her routine too.

She was growing up way too fast. Just like how her curly hair grew out too fast. She'd need another haircut soon, before it fell below her middle back. She didn't like it too long.

Once she was ready for bed you joined her in her bedroom, in an extension tacked onto the old house. It was your turn to read her a bedtime story.

"What would you like me to read you tonight?" you inquired as you sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Clifford!" Rylee exclaimed, shoving one of her Clifford the Big Red Dog books into your hands. It was the one about him as a puppy. Her favorite.

You could probably have told her the story without looking at the words, but you did anyway as she buried herself under her blankets and pulled her very own Clifford (a stuffed toy red dog) into her arms.

"Hi, I'm Emily Elizabeth, and this is Clifford, my big red dog," you began.

You showed Rylee every page you flipped through until you noticed that she'd nodded off, looking as angelic as ever (though she wasn't always). You read a little longer until you were sure she was completely out then quietly put the book down on top of her bookshelf and turned off the lamp beside her bed.

Afterwards you left for the master bedroom where Marcus was waiting, scrolling through his phone while sitting at the desk in the corner of the room.

"What ya looking at?" you quizzed.

"Case stuff," he informed you.

"Marcus..."

He sighed heavily. "I know; I know. Work stays at work. But this case is really baffling everyone."

"And you thought Google would have the answers?" you teased.

"Maybe."

You bent down to give him a peck on the cheek. "Get ready for bed. We have plans."

"You're not too tired?"

"You'll be doing most of the work."

He laughed and grabbed a hold of your right hand, pressing his lips to your palm. "Sounds good."

As unromantic as it may seem, you and Marcus had to set aside time to be romantic with each other some weeks. Your lives were just that hectic at certain times of the year. But you'd learned to be okay with it, to even like it. It wasn't that difficult to deal with the lack of spontaneity when you had to resort to putting aside time together. You were still deeply attracted to your husband and daydreamed at work about him when things got slow.

The worst part was when you didn't have the time or energy. When your body was at odds with you. This wasn't one of those nights though. You weren't that tired.

You left Marcus for your bathroom, slipping into one of his t-shirts that you borrowed on a regular basis for these kind of nights, for when you didn't feel like wearing lingerie, as you did so.

While you were closed up in there, getting ready for the rest of the night, you checked to make sure you weren't bleeding yet, since you were due for your period soon, wiping yourself with a tissue.

Nothing.

Strange. Lately it'd been consistently at the end of the 3rd week of the month, but you were several days past that mark.

Your mind immediately drew back to the morning, when you'd had to forego a traditional bra in favor of an undershirt with a built in one because your breasts had hurt in them. It happened sometimes, but knowing that you were late...

You reached under the bathroom sink for a pack of pregnancy tests and rushed to take them, knowing pretty soon Marcus would wonder why you weren't out yet.

As you placed the two tests in the sink he knocked on the door. You slipped back into the bedroom, a little excited and nervous, like every time you took a pregnancy test.

You weren't as sure as the first time if Marcus would be as happy as you about this. You were both so busy, if the pregnancy test was positive, you'd only be busier. And this wasn't planned like the first time. You hadn't exactly been careful, but you hadn't really discussed having another baby together in a long time.

You'd taken up the "if it happens, it happens" attitude a year after Rylee was born but it hadn't happened for over two years. You'd been convinced you couldn't have anymore kids in that manner.

You were doubting it even as you waited for the tests, but you wanted to tell Marcus anyway, just in case.

"What's up, honey?" he inquired with concern, recognizing the conflicting emotions written on your face.

"I've been off today and I'm late, so I decided to take a couple pregnancy tests," you informed him. "Probably won't be positive, but I figured best to be safe. Never know. They should be ready in a few minutes."

Marcus nodded in understanding and pulled you to him. "You know I'll be happy either way, right?"

You smiled widely at him. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. And it's the same for me. I'm perfectly satisfied with our lives, having two wonderful kids. But I wouldn't say no to one more. Just...we're so busy already."

"We'll make it work," he promised you. "I thought the same thing when I was single."

You snorted. "True."

Almost everyone complained about how little time there was in a day, and yet you'd always found time for what mattered. It was just about narrowing down what was in that category.

You checked the alarm by the bed. "It's been long enough."

You led him into the bathroom and you peered down at the tests together.

They were both positive, clear as day.

You and Marcus glanced at each other, mouths both hanging open before the grins formed.

You reached up to him and he wound his arms around you, kissing you on the cheek briefly before letting you tuck your head into the crook of his neck as his hands started rubbing your back, up and down along your spine.

"Looks like we're going to be busier," you said and he chuckled, his chest rising and falling strongly against yours.

"Looks like we have something to celebrate tonight," he added, kissing the top of your head.

You leaned back and beamed up at him. "Good thing we have time set aside for it."

"Oh?" He moved his hands to your waist and you guided one of them further down, under the t-shirt.

He hissed when he didn't feel any fabric underneath, just you. "Shit, you're not wearing anything else, are you?"

You shook your head. "Not worth it. Saves time."

He captured your mouth in a searing kiss, his hands on both sides of your face, cradling it, and you parted your lips to let him in as he backed away towards the bed, with you closely following.

For as long as you could you'd stay embraced in his arms, your lover, your husband, the father of your children.

You'd never have enough time, but you'd take all the time you got.

xxx

Tagged: @amyispxnk @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

[vintgedoll]

rainy days ... kyle 'gaz' garrick.

content warnings ... nothing i can think of, if i miss anything, let me know!

lacie's diary says ... requested by anon who wanted something sweet and domestic with gaz! i am so sorry, this may not seem domestic but i'll probably return to this requests prompt bc i had a really nice time writing this c: as always, apologies for any mistakes and this is half proofread just because i was a time crunch but i will return to this later.

you liked when kyle slept over.

you would always wake up before him, tangled in his arms and listening to his soft breathing. if he managed to trap you against his chest, it was his gentle heartbeat you would listen to. on the rare occasion he woke up before you, he would surprise you with breakfast.

he wasn't the best cook so he always ordered out, especially when the night was tough for you; there would be times you couldn't sleep, troubled by trivial things you would probably forget in a few years. even if you both knew that, he would still show up at your apartment door in the middle of the night with a tired grin on his face.

the sound of the rain against your window woke you up, your bed directly beneath it but you would always wake up with him. kyle automatically slept over whenever it was raining, enjoying the rainy weeks that england had to offer, always wanting to experience waking up with you in his arms, the outside gloom dimly lighting your bedroom through peaks of your curtain. the two of you always stayed in bed on rainy days, wrapped up in each others arms and watching horribly made rom com movies; you often joked that he got all his basic training in romance from said movies but you could tell he had his personal reasons for all the little cliche moments.

this wasn't the case this time. you woke up alone in the rain, the side of your bed where kyle previously was only a few hours before now empty.

sitting up in confusion, you soon managed to pull apart of the sound of the bathroom shower from the rain. it had been lost in its own little dance with the harsh tapping of droplets against your window but now that it was off, you could tell he had merely taken a shower before he had to prepare for his day; now, reassured you weren't just left by your boyfriend, you fell back into the plush mattress and closed your eyes, attempting to go back to sleep. the small glance you took at your clock as you fell back letting you know it had barely even hit five a.m. yet.

you remember the first time kyle slept over. you had only been dating for four months at the time but in a moment of desperation you called him, listening to the ringing before his tired greeting spoke to you. that night, you had trouble sleeping, just recently dealing with too much stress and asked if he could come over. kyle wanted nothing but the best for you, and just at the idea of you being overwhelmed, he was there in a heartbeat. at the time, it was new and exciting to have him there but now? it was a ritual that you both followed and looked forward to.

the sound of your bedroom door opening led you to look past the foot of your mattress and see your boyfriend trying to shut the door as quietly as possible. "hi," it clearly gave him a small scare, watching his shoulders tense before relaxing. "shower?" you managed to mumble out, still waking up.

he crawled his way into your bed and lifted the covers to join you. "yeah," he lazily slumped an arm over you and buried his face in your neck and you recognized his new scent, lightly giggling.

"did you use..." interrupting you, his sentence was muffled, not moving from his place in the crook of your neck. "i forgot to bring my own wash. i wouldn’t have enough time to get home to shower before work."

you smiled at your wall in the dark of the room, his own forgetfulness always made you smile since it was over the smallest things; this time it was his own body wash. "the pink bottle?"

"yeah..." you would've mistook his tone for embarrassment or annoyance if not for remembering he had shift in only two hours and he seemed so exhausted. you hated when kyle lost sleep, pulling all nighters to take care of his needs because his jov was so demanding. he hadn’t shown you any affection one day, too tired to initiate anything; you were so worried until he gave you a sleepy forehead kiss and locked you in his arms. "i never expected you to use anything with the words rose water and sea salt in the same sentence"

letting out a soft scoff, he finally sat up and looked down at you. “why not?” you adjusted your head to look back up him. he was so pretty. he made your heart beat faster and it reminded you that if you could, you would stare at him for hours. “i don’t know… that’s usually my thing?” you were too tired to justify yourself and you both of you shared a short laugh at it before the room fell quiet. he took his place next to you again. the room was barely lit, only light coming from your alarm clock and the low light of your computer, still not in sleep mode. it was just you and him it felt like sometimes; the sound of each other’s faint breathing and his touch being the only thing to comfort you.

"would you ... be able to stay home today? like call in sick?" there was no response from him at first, almost worried he fell asleep before he sweetly responded. "i'll work something out."

[munsonslilbunnie]

missin' out. | eddie munson x reader |

mini-series: pt. i (you're here)| pt. ii

summary: after a failed 'talking stage' with steve "the hair" harrington, you find yourself in a little slump - before a certain someone pulls you out of it and shows you how it's like to be truly desired.

pairing: eddie munson x plus-size!fem!reader | past!steve harrington x plus-size!fem!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings/cw/tw: body-image issues. insecurities. comparing yourself to other fem!characters. y/n is shorter than most. steve is a bit of a meanie, but that’s just for the sake of the plot lol.

a/n: aaaa you guys have no idea how grateful i am for the response i received from my first post here 🥺 most of what i post on here will prob be fics but i might post lil blurbs here and there! if you have a plot bunny or idea you want me to try and write, pls don't hesitate to request it! i'll try my best to fulfill it <3 anyways, i hope you enjoy this bbs! no beta so all mistakes are mine. p.s. – should i make this into a mini-series? would y'all be interested in it? c:

bunnie's taglist: 𐐪 @angelbbygrl 𐑂

: ¨ ·.· ¨ : · .. ·

“hey, uh, (y/n)..”

a soft hum came from your lips as you pressed your landline against your ear, listening to steve’s soothing voice over the receiver, “yeah, what’s up, steve? is everything okay?” you asked softly, twirling the cord around your finger as you pressed your back against the wall, waiting for the man to continue speaking. 

it was weird, to say the least – that you’re talking to the steve harrington. it has barely been two months since that day you stepped into the family video store, waving your hand towards robin, who was quick to shoot back a smile and a wave, motioning you to the new releases at the time. you weren’t expecting anything that day – you came in wearing a simple white tee that ended just below your belly button and a pair of old baggy jeans, with white, beat-up sneakers. you weren’t coming here to impress – you just needed a new movie or two to watch that weekend and you were out of there. your pajamas were waiting for you at home – along with your favorite popcorn and snacks. while you were roaming around the ‘new releases’ section, you had – quite literally – bumped into steve ‘the hair’ harrington, making him drop a couple of vhs tapes that he had in his hands. 

god, you can even remember the way your face had gone completely red as you bent down to gather the vhs tapes for him, muttering apology after apology to the man. you were honestly a bit terrified that he was going to be pissed at you when you didn’t hear any movement from above. you had looked up at the last second, cheeks flushed and brows drawn up as you were getting ready to spew another line of apologies to the man. yeah, you might have had a crush on him back when he was in school, but, uh, he never gave you the time of day, considering your social groups never mingled, and honestly, he was too preoccupied with nancy. but – the look on steve’s face was definitely – not one that you expected. he had looked so cute with those flushed cheeks and wide eyes as he ogled down at you. he didn’t seem like he knew just – where – to look at. he had gone from your eyes, down to your lips, probably down to your shirt, if you wanted to think that way. yeah, steve harrington truly did notice you that day – for the first time ever. 

from that moment forward, you were suddenly hanging out at the video store every other day after school, something that steve seemed to enjoy. before you knew it, he was asking you out on weekly dates – whether to a pretty little restaurant a town over from hawkins, on a stroll around the park, or even to his place to watch all of the new releases that you had been itching to watch. 

you guys weren’t necessarily dating – not yet, anyway. you were hoping that on this date tonight he would finally ask you – to finally put a label on whatever it was that you two were doing. you two already acted like a couple, so why not just go ahead and put a label on it? you held hands, you hugged, you cuddled, you kissed – heck, you knew yourself better than anyone else on this planet and you knew that you were even ready to give him your all. you were definitely ready to go all the way with steve, but you just – wanted to have a label before you exposed yourself in that way to him. 

of course, though, you had your own insecurities that might have been weighing you down these past couple of days. you weren’t like – his past girlfriends, more specifically, like nancy wheeler. you knew you were far different from the girls he normally dated. all of them had been thin, petite. small in a way he could easily wrap his arms around them and have space left over (something that you picked up on early into the ‘relationship’ between you and steve – maybe it was all in your mind, but sometimes it just felt like he could barely wrap his arms around you and have his hands actually touch). you knew you weren’t exactly the smallest girl steve had ever been with – your thighs touched and rubbed against each other when you walked, your arms had a bit of a jiggle to them, your breasts were a little on the small side and it just made your tummy stick out more and look bigger than it actually was. you’ve always had your own insecurities, something that some of the mean girls in school liked to remind you of in the hallways, but you typically didn’t let it bother you. you knew you weren’t like the other girls and that was okay to you. you didn’t want to be like them. you were (y/n). that was good enough for you. and you had clearly assumed that steve wasn’t the type of guy to care about that either – something that you relished in because it’s not like you had a line of people who wanted to date you. you were always the secret. the one people didn’t want others to find out they were dating. it was a nice change – to be involved with someone who took you out to public and made it known that there was something more happening between you two. it was nice. really nice. 

its been a few moments already and steve still hasn’t answered your question. 

“steve? you still there?” you ask softly into the phone, a confused tone in your voice. it wasn’t really like him to just – stay silent. especially considering he was the one who called you in the first place when you should be getting into the shower to get ready for your date tonight with him. “everything okay?”

“(y/n), look, i’m really sorry, but i don’t think this is gonna work out between us…” came a sigh from the other side of the phone. 

it was like you suddenly forgot how to breathe. 

“what? what do you mean ‘not gonna work out’?” you managed to choke out, your heart beating harshly against your chest as your brain tried to make sense of the situation at hand. everything was going so well. what changed? the dates went well. you hung out a lot – sure, it’s been less lately, but that was just because you needed to study for final exams and such, and he knew that – steve knew that and he was okay with it. you were so thrown out of the loop, you almost missed his next words.

“ – it’s not you, it’s me, ya know? you’re a great girl, i enjoyed my time with you, believe me! you’re awesome, (y/n), i just… uh, i just don’t think i’m ready for anything as of right now. ya know, busy with work and stuff,” he replied back to your question. you could practically feel the cringe from the other side of the call when you heard him curse softly under his breath, “i’m sorry, man. i truly am. it’s just… not gonna work out, right now. maybe later, just not… now.”

everything felt so wrong. it was wrong. it didn’t feel right. not anymore. maybe it never did. maybe it was stupid, getting your hopes up that such a gorgeous guy like steve would ever be interested in a girl like you. why should you be so surprised, when he had only ever gone out with girls like nancy wheeler? gosh, how pathetic. how pathetic to think this would have ended any differently than the others. 

“it’s… fine. it’s fine, steve. yeah, yeah. totally fine. i’ll see you around. bye.”

“wait, (y/n) –” 

click. 

you hung the phone back up, letting the cord fall from your fingers. you stared blankly into the space, slowly letting yourself slide down the wall until you were flat on your bottom, legs stretched out in front of you as your hands laid on your thighs. 

you let your head tip back, letting it hit the wall softly as wavering eyes stared up at the ceiling. 

another one bites the dust, i guess, you thought bitterly to yourself, trying so hard not to cry. but the familiar burning sensation started in your eyes first – soon finding itself in the back of your throat. a pitiful whimper left your trembling lips – it started off slow, soft. a whimper, which soon turned into a soft cry of sadness as tears started to flow down your round cheeks before it turned into body-shaking sobs that wrecked through you, the sounds of your sobs echoing throughout the empty house. thank god it was friday – meaning your parents were on their weekly friday date nights and wouldn’t be there to see you break down. you didn’t need them to see you like this. not over a guy. 

not over a guy you thought was different. 

after that last phone call you had with steve, you locked yourself in your room, coming out only to eat or to shower. you didn’t really have it in you to speak to anyone – and your parents definitely noticed. unlike most, they were mostly understanding, so they gave you your space – something that you were really grateful for. on that following monday morning, you finally had the energy to speak to your parents and to some of your friends, but you were definitely quieter than usual. your friends were the type to not overstep boundaries and let you come spill your feelings out to them once you were ready. 

it took you two weeks of keeping quiet and to yourself to finally go to your friends for comfort, who (in their own right) were ready to go after ‘the hair’ for hurting you that way. they knew how excited you were about steve and how happy being around him made you feel. it was definitely something that had surprised them, but hey – your happiness was important to your friends and they honestly just wanted the best for you. cheesy, you know. but considering you have been there for each other since elementary school, it’s no longer a surprise how protective you all were of each other. 

you definitely felt lighter after coming clean and letting others listen to your thoughts and how you truly felt about the situation. while it wasn’t a breakup, since you weren’t even officially dating, but shit – did it hurt like one. 

it even hurts to say now, but it took you a little over three weeks to even step foot back into the family video store after shit hit the fan. 

you had two vhs tapes that were long overdue, but you didn’t have it in you to go back just yet. 

until today. 

weeks after the phone call, you finally made your way to the family video store, hoping to whoever out there that steve wouldn’t be there. you haven’t seen him in three weeks and you would like to keep it that way, thank you very much. 

you parked your car outside, glancing around for the sight of steve’s car, and heaved out a sigh of relief when you didn’t see it anywhere. 

before you got out, you were startled when you saw a van swerve its way into the parking lot, conveniently parking right next to yours, although a little haphazardly. the van looked like it was vibrating from the way the music was blasting at full volume. a small smile quirked up on your lips. you recognized that van instantly. eddie ‘the freak’ munson. the ‘super senior’ of hawkins high. you’ve never spoken to him before – your social groups never mingled amongst each other. your group wasn’t popular – or even seen, most of the time. you were the quiet ones in school. you didn’t get in the way of the populars and jocks, and they – for the most part – didn’t mess with you either. 

you’ve heard all about the rumors surrounding eddie, though. but you never believed them. you’ve seen him in the hallways enough to know that those rumors about him being a satanist or whatever were all just a bunch of lies. yeah, he dressed a little… dark compared to others, but he seemed like a decent person. maybe even like a dork, based on that D&D game he plays. plus, he was the local drug dealer at school. some of your friends have bought from him before and deemed him to be completely innocent – no trouble at all. so yeah, eddie seemed like a decent dude. 

you shook your head. you needed to focus. you needed to make this quick and painless and you wouldn’t be able to achieve that if you didn’t get out of the damn car. 

with a heavy sigh, you grabbed your bag and put the two vhs tapes inside, before hauling yourself out the car. with a slam of your car door, you trudged up towards the double doors, unaware of the long-haired burnet that was making his way to the door as well, head gently swaying back and forth as he focused on the song that was stuck in his head. 

your hand shot out in time with his own, fingers gripping onto the handle at the same time. 

“oh!” you gasped softly when your hands touched, feeling your cheeks flush slightly as your eyes glanced up quickly towards the other hands’ owner, who looked just as startled as you did – even if for a split second. 

“so sorry, m’lady! didn’t see you there for a second,” the man gave you a small grin, the both of you letting your hands fall back to your sides. 

“uh, it’s okay…” you sent him a small grin as well, albeit a little awkward. 

eddie cleared his throat and moved, gripping the door handle and swinging it open. for a second you thought he was going to enter – but, to your surprise, he held it open for you, a wide smile on his (rather cute) face as he motioned for you to go through first, “after you, sweetheart.” 

was it normal for your face to get this red? you weren’t so sure. you just stared at him a little dumbfounded, not used to this behavior from anyone (except for steve). after a few moments of not responding and just… staring, you could see eddie’s smile start to falter, and you were shaken at how much you didn’t want to see him frowning – especially not towards you. 

“t… thank you!” you stumbled over your words as you flashed him a bright smile, making your way into the video store, unaware of the way his wide, doe-like eyes stared after you in astonishment. that was the first time you had ever smiled at him – he wanted it to happen even more now.

a shaky sigh came from your lips as you made a bee-line to the counter, relieved to see robin there. she had called you a few times to see how you were doing after steve ended things with you, calling him a ‘dingus’ and to ‘not worry about a butthead like him’. you were grateful for her, in more ways than she knew. 

“hey, ro,” you spoke softly as you stopped in front of her, hands already digging into your bag as you fished out the vhs tapes. 

“(y/n)!” she called out happily, giving you a bright grin as she leaned her elbows on the counter, “finally decided to grace me with your presence, your highness?” she asked you with a whiny tone, letting her head fall forward slightly, “i’ve missed you! it’s been boring without you here!” 

you couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s antics, your hand reaching over to gently pat her head, oblivious to the eyes that followed your every movement, watching you – observing you – in a curious manner. “i’ve missed you too, ro. you… you know i just needed to be away for a bit.” you gave her a sad smile before brightening up a bit, “but, hey! let me make it up to you, yeah? tell me what you want to watch and maybe you can come over and watch it with me? we need a girl’s night in!” you added in a whiney tone at the end, fluttering your lashes at her in a way to convince her. 

the dirty blonde couldn’t help the cackle that escaped her lips at the way you were begging, as if she could ever say no to you – not with the way you batted your lashes at her. she grinned at you, glancing behind you for a second when she noticed the audience you seemed to have gathered – a one-man audience, but an audience nonetheless. she quirked a brow at the long-haired metalhead, watching the way his eyes were practically glued to your face, doing a rather shitty job as he hid behind the horror section. ‘hmm, this is an interesting development,’ she thought to herself before giving you a wide smirk, nodding her head to your plan. 

“fine, fine! you’ve worn me down, (l/n)!” robin giggled at the way you clapped your hands. she leaned over and clasped her hands around yours, “how about you go to the horror section and find something that you think i might like, yeah? whatever you choose, i’m good with! i’ll return these for you while you do that.” she suggested innocently, mentally cackling when she heard the soft curse coming from the horror section, something that you didn’t notice. 

you nodded your head in an excited manner and made your way towards the horror section, a happy bounce in your walk. you were so into your own thoughts about what robin might like, that you didn’t have enough time to react when you bumped into a lanky form, a soft ‘oof!’ leaving your lips as you stumbled back. strong hands quickly grasped your shoulders, holding you steady against them.

“woah! you good there, princess?” eddie’s voice filled your ears in a way that made your heart flutter. has his voice always been this rich? this soothing? 

you gulped and looked up at the man, who seemed to tower over you. there was concern in his eyes as he looked down at you, his hands not yet leaving your arms, though his grip was soft, comforting even. “ah, yeah! i’m fine – sorry for bumping into you, i guess i wasn’t paying close enough to my surroundings, eddie.” you giggled nervously, glancing away from him for a moment. 

“shit, you know my name, sweetheart?”

his response startled you, glancing back at him in surprise. you tilted your head in confusion, maintaining eye contact to the best of your ability. “uh, yeah? of course! why wouldn’t i know your name? we’ve been going to school together for a while now, munson.” you laughed softly, shaking your head at his question.

a blotch of red appeared on his cheeks at your response, looking a little embarrassed at how silly his question was, but also seemed pleased with himself that you even knew who he was. “can’t help but be a little surprised, (l/n). a princess like yourself? knowing my name? oh, it does things to my heart!” he gasped out dramatically, pulling his hands away from you to clutch onto his heart, head tilting back as a lovesick expression appeared on his face. a large grin formed on his face as he heard you giggle, cracking open an eye to see the way your lips curved into a large smile, your giggles bright and cute – happy. he could definitely get used to hearing that. 

“oh, don’t be so dramatic, munson!” you playfully swatted his shoulder, not thinking too much about it, “you’re the infamous eddie munson! would be rather dumb if i didn’t know who you were at this point, huh? heard lots of things about you.” 

eddie leaned against one of the video racks, hand gripping onto it as he grinned down at you. “oh, yeah? ‘nd what did ya hear about me, babydoll? all good things, ‘m hoping.”

you playfully tapped your finger against your cheek as you pretended to think for a moment before letting out a quiet gasp, “well! i heaaaard… that you’re, like, this big dork who likes to play a fantasy game with this ‘hellfire club’. mm, oh! and you’re, like, a member of a band!” you looked up at him innocently, though you had a cheeky grin on your face, “did i nail it, munson?”

“a dork? oh, how you continue to wound me, my princess!” eddie pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, holding it there as he fell onto his knees in front of you in a dramatic fashion, which just continued to make you erupt into fits of giggles. he smirked slightly, looking up at you from his kneeling position, seeing that he wasn’t that much shorter than you in this position. it was cute, really. “as for the other part, you hit the nail, (l/n). got my own, big boy band called corroded coffin.” he sent you a grin before finally getting off his knees as your giggles faded into little hiccups, cheeks flushed. 

god, you couldn’t remember the last time you giggled this much in a long time. it felt nice – laughing like this with someone, anyone. you never expected that it would be eddie munson making you giggle like this, but you relished it. it felt nice. he was nice. really, really nice. 

“corroded coffin? interesting name, eddie. i’m sure you’re getting all the chicks with your band,” you teased him, having no real venom in your words as you finally started to take notice of all the titles, trying to find one that robin and you might like to watch. 

“all the chicks? nah, you got it all wrong, doll,” eddie stated as he fell into place next to you, walking by your side with his hands behind his head. he winked down at you when you looked over, “i play because i love to rock out. love the exhilarating feeling it gives me. but… if being in a band gets me a sweet doll like you, that’ll just make things even better.” he was laying it on thick, but he didn’t care. you were sweeter than he could have ever imagined and fuck it, he didn’t want to lose the opportunity. 

your cheeks flushed heavily at the notion of his words, eyes widening slightly as you stared up into his own. you glanced away as you let out an awkward laugh, shaking your head at him, “a doll like me would make it better? dunno if you’re thinking correctly, munson.” you stopped in front of a rack, eyes glancing around but not truly taking note of the titles. eddie’s words were rolling through your mind, trying not to think too much into it. he was just teasing you – he had to be. 

“‘m pretty sane right now, (l/n)!” eddie’s chuckle broke you from your thoughts. his smile was wide and genuine as he watched you. “ya know, i might sound a little crazy right now, but…” he paused for a dramatic effect, leaning close to your face, eyes clashing into one another. your breath hitched the closer he got to you, his eyes unwavering as he mumbled, “i’ve had the biggest crush on you since middle school. you’re the prettiest girl i have ever seen, ya know? like – so pretty, so nice, so sweet. been trying to get your attention for years now, but you never gave me the time of day, sweetheart.” his plump lips formed into a small pout, but there was a sincerity in his eyes and tone that made you believe him. you blinked owlishly at him, trying to get your heart to settle down inside your chest. “listen, no pressure but like… just one date. you, me, tomorrow night? we can go to, like, a diner or a movie or something? would you be down for that, sweetheart?” he stared into your eyes, teeth now gnawing at his lips as he tried not to let his nerves get to him. this was his only shot – ‘please, please, accept,’ he thought to himself. 

was this really happening? was eddie munson really asking you out on a date? god – this was real, wasn’t it? you couldn’t really believe your ears but you were soon nodding your head to his question, your lips forming around words that spilled from your lips, “y…yeah! a movie sounds nice! uh, here!” your hands fished out a notebook and a pencil from your bag, tearing a page from it before jotting down your phone number and address on it. with a gulp, you thrust the piece of paper into his hands, a stunned look on his face. the expression just made everything seem much, much more real. “there’s my number and address! you can pick me up at 6 and we… we can check out what they’re playing! uh, i gotta go now, eddie! can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” you all but squeaked out as your hand blindly grabbed some random vhs tape from the rack and raced backed to the counter, thrusting the tape into robin’s awaiting hand. 

a faint ‘yes!’ could be heard from the horror section of the store. 

robin looked at you with a wide grin on her lips, staring at you with a knowing glint in her eyes. “tonight, you’re telling me everything.”

oh, tonight will definitely be interesting. 

: ¨ ·.· ¨ : · .. ·

[pascalispinkkkk]

joel miller x reader

word count: 2.5k

Note: This is my first tlou fic. English is not my mother tongue. This is mostly just a mildly edited draft as I wrote it in under a day so I'm sorry lol. I suddenly hyper-fixated on the idea and didn't want it to go anywhere. I'm not a writer so don't expect much loll. I've read a handful of fanfics here and just based this one on how most of them are formatted. I initially wanted it to be an "x male reader" thing, but I decided against it.

Joel x You (GN)

Joel and GN Reader are in an established platonic relationship.

Reader is curiously seeing Joel in a new light.

Tess and Joel were never a 'thing'.

Altered some details so the fic makes sense (kinda).

Some erotic scenes.

Setting: Jackson. After the Firefly Massacre.

"How much truth did you tell Ellie?” You stick your eighth cigarette through the pile of cigar butts on the oak wood table in front of you. Joel stares blankly at the clock across the dimly lit living room. He does not go into detail about what happened in Salt Lake City. You know as he's visibly tense. A deer caught in headlights. He shakes his head dismissively, his face stoic. The usual. You purse your lips as his eyes dart everywhere but you.

You let out a deep and defeated sigh. Joel puts both his hands on his knees. In your mind, that's the first sign he's about to say something. You study him a bit as silence drags on. It's been two days since they came back from Utah. But it doesn't look like he slept even a blink. You decide he needs more rest. So, you nod, partly just to drop it.

Joel uncorks the bottle of whiskey in front of him, filling his glass with yet another shot. He puts it down as his other hand hastily swipes for the glass in sync. "What's your plan?” You press as he throws his head back. He slaps the glass back down as soon as he empties it. You're surprised it does not break.

“I'll stick with the truth,” he finally says after a few beats. His dark brown orbs search yours as he adds "My truth". There's an array of currents that sizzle through your nerves. You recognize it as dismay. But, then warmth crawls through where the currents have been. Because you understand. How could you not? You search his face once more.

It seems like he zoomed through time three years ahead.

Under the pale moonlight, the scars and scabs along his neck and his forehead are visible. His skin is a bit drier. Wrinkles have formed where it used to be smooth. His cheeks have sunken, making his dimples look more visible. You take note of those two bald areas on his greying beard. How can they be in the same spot on each side of his face? You follow the swooping curve of his hooked nose. And then you’re staring at his eyes. Those dark brown orbs you've known for five springs. You reminisce how they’ve gradually softened through the years as he's come to know you. How he almost always talked to you through them. How they haunted you in your dreams for the past four months they weren't around.

Four months. You were left alone for four agonizing months. In Jackson. You insisted you wanted to tag along that morning after the movies. But Joel countered that you stayed. You were badly wounded from the run with Tess and Ellie, he retorted. You were needed here more. Tommy said something about the resources being scarce. It made you sneer. When the dreaded time came, you were left alone at the stables to sulk. Or so you thought. Because Joel walked right back in. He shuffled rather slowly. One foot after the other. He stopped when he was at least a good arm's length from where you were slumped.

"I'll be fine,” he said. "Promise me you will be, too,” there was a long pause. You heard him shuffling again. Before you knew it, he dropped his brown leather jacket beside you. "It's freezing. Wear that when you walk home,” he said in a monotonous voice. Not a word escaped your lips. You could only muster up a meek nod. Wordlessly, Joel started waltzing away. Very Joel, you internally scoffed. You kept your eyes on the leather jacket that he left. Eventually, his footsteps faded out.

In your mind, you ran after him and turn him around to face you. You let the rightful urge within you to make you punch his face repeatedly as you scream every curse word there was. But instead, you pathetically sat where you at. You couldn’t care less about the hay getting in your pants. Or the sudden sharp pain in your right leg. Letting him see this side of yours would be the last thing you'd want, you thought. But deep down, you knew you just didn't have the courage.

And so, after silently crying for a good hour, you aimlessly walked to the house you were assigned to. Feeling a little lost and betrayed. Why—of all muscles around here—does it have to be Joel, you thought. You were anxious about not knowing if they'll make it and when.

In the months that came, however, Tommy and Maria took good care of you. They saw how you had to lock yourself up for days on end as anxiety devastated even the tiniest last bits of your soul in your fingertips. Tommy gave you some linen and antiseptics that could last you several weeks. You insisted you can tend to your own wounds. There was a small window to your kitchen where Maria left the meals she carefully made for you. Most days, they were left there cold. Sometimes, you ate a portion. And then, on the 9th day, you noticed a hideous orange cat trying to pry open the Tupperware Maria had left you.

You named him Wes, anyway. You took him in. But he always hissed at you. He probably thought you were stealing the food Maria was making him. You started giving him some. A chicken wing. Some rabbit legs. Or a portion of your grilled cattle meat. He started warming up to you. And then eventually, you started making food for him. And yourself. The hissing stopped.

On the fourth week, you and he were cozying up on your bed. You figured you liked some warmth as the entire town turned into a tundra and the air became crisper and unforgiving.

Slowly, you came back. Your wounds were fully healed. Tommy had to bust the door open one cold morning. He sat you down beside the kitchen island. The scent of coffee wafted in the air from the mug set in front of you. A fork and bread knife rested beside the plated French toast Tommy made.

“You know Joel,” Tommy said "I know him. They're gonna make it.” But even he can't hide the slightest doubt from his voice. He took a swig from his now half-empty cup. “They’re gonna be fine.” Wes was curled up beneath your feet. You were drawing circles with your toes against his furry neck. "I know,” your voice was hoarse. You were both silent, just listening to the soft music you put on the phonograph. There was a pulse of wariness that started in your chest. But then Wes purred. And the anxiety almost instantly vanished.

“I see the way you look at my old brother,”

Your world stood still. You were thankful that the air was freezing. You hoped that it could somehow explain the sudden gush of heat in your cheeks. You dared to look at Tommy’s eyes. He was looking at his cup, the corners of his lips slightly curled upwards. “I uh…yea—"

“Just be careful,” he finally looked at you. “He uh, he’s been through a lot. He’s tough,” a long, cumbersome pause ensued.

“But that’s not the only reason I'm here,” Tommy’s piercing gaze now made you feel somewhat apprehended. “The town medic needs a hand. Joel mentioned you helped take care of the sick back in QZ,” there was a hint of hope in his voice. He sounded somewhat desperate, too.

“It could…take your mind off of some things for a while,” You gave him a side glance. Your hands trembled from the sudden wisp of cold air coming from the open window. After finishing breakfast, Tommy insisted he’d do the dishes. He talked to you about the offer once more saying, “Think about it,” before he went home.

So, the next day, you met with the town physician.

You went through the remaining months. Depressed. Functioning just because you needed to. Day by day. In the mornings, you went to the clinic. Saw a few patients with the doctor. Went home just as the sky started to take a warmer hue. Made food for you and Wes. Went to bed at night but never really sleeping. Everyday. Every Week. But there was just that one empty spot somewhere in that small thorax of yours. You can’t comprehend how it ached. Why it ached differently. How it turned into an empty limbo as you stared blankly at your tattered bedroom ceiling in the cold evenings. You can’t imagine how many times you’ve drawn Joel’s face along the cracks of that ceiling. Or that stained wall directly across your bed. How, one morning, you imagined that you’ll come down to the kitchen. See him waiting for you to join him at breakfast. What was Joel to you? You asked yourself. What were you to him?

One night, you startled Wes.

You shot straight up from bed, panting frantically. Wes screeched as he bolted out through the crack of your door. You were sweaty, even when the room was freezing. You saw them at the back of your eyelids. Joel’s brown eyes. Burning as they looked into your eyes through his lush eyebrows. He was smirking at you. “Oh, Joel,” you heaved.

You closed your eyes and let your delusions take over. He ran his coarse fingertips up your legs as he planted soft kisses on your neck. He made a wet trail with his tongue from the base of your neck up to the back of your ear. You can smell his sweat. That musky, leathery wood scent that made you squirm every time he walked past you. “Fuck, Joel…”

You finished that night, tired. Your mind was filled with haze. You can certainly feel your sleepiness. But your eyes stayed wide open. What have you done? You thought. Joel. You thought of the years that you’ve known each other. How you've gradually become comfortable but somewhat still uneasy around each other. You remembered the way you follow his every move with your prying gaze when you know he wasn’t looking. Or how you’d catch him looking at you when you turned your head.

You've known love. Now, you're not so sure. Because every man that you've been with throughout the years had never made you feel as clueless as you were with the man that was Joel.

You were unsure if you were drawn because he was who he was. Or because you imagine who he could be with you. What's it like to be able to run your fingers freely through that scruffy hair of his? How would it feel to sleep beside him? Your head on his chest. Your legs in a tangled mess. What would it be like waking up to those big brown eyes, guessing what was on his mind?

Now is the time, you think. You’ve lost him for almost half a year. Knowing you had to endure it without being able to finally say what you always wanted to say. How you felt for him. You are not going to waste one moment again, you internally swear. You'll never know when he's going to be taken away from you.

Joel uncorks the bottle of whisky once more. But before he can pour himself another round, you take the bottle away from his hand. “The fuck is your problem?” He drawls. Clearly mildly intoxicated. He stands up and reaches down for the bottle in your hands. He anchors his right elbow against the oak wood table. In a split second, he loses his footing. A tincture of emotions flashes in his features as he stumbles over. You struggle helplessly to help him keep his balance. There's a loud crash. Of the glasses breaking and the table toppling over and two bodies coming together.

There’s a lump in your throat as soon as you open your eyes. They are enthralling. Those brown orbs of his. The rest of the room turns black and white against the brown hues of his cow eyes. You can see the crinkles by the corners of them. They're a bit more sunken than they previously were. But the effect they have on you stays the same. You can feel your own heartbeat. And his through his chest as his weight pressed down on you. The sweet scent of whiskey invades your nose with every wisp of air he exhales. You realize he's looking at you. All over your face. As if you were a countryside map and he wanted to memorize every landmark he could before he explored you. Your eyes lock. He closes his. But you keep yours open.

You can taste him now. The shots of whiskey he's been downing. The cigarettes you shared. The pure flavor of his mouth. You open your lips just slightly wider. You want to know him. Good and bad. And so when he licks your bottom lip with his tongue, you let him in. The once tender kiss turns into an open-mouthed battle for dominion. If he was just longing for intimate contact for reasons other than what you're hoping for, you don't want to know. What's important now is he's here. On you.

His slightly overgrown beard brushes your chin as he angles his face to gain more access to his treat. He humps. You gasp. Your legs involuntarily part. There's a tent in his crotch. A whimper escapes your lips. He grumbles.

“Jesus, fuck, look at you,” he bites his now plumper lips. "You've missed me that much huh?"

A tear brims just in the corner of your eye. "You have no idea, Joel," you think as you take in his face. How imperfect he is. But beautiful.

His brown eyes are sinfully hooded. You have to pray to the gods that you’d never die of a heart attack. A small droplet lands in the corner of your mouth. You realize he is sweating. Not long after, you’re reaching out to that spot with the tip of your tongue. His salty, slightly sweet taste fires up something inside the compartment of your chest. The burning desire. The pent-up longing for such magnetic force of a man that is Joel Miller. Your head becomes clouded as you come undone. You hear him snivel. And then you notice you’re digging your fingernails into his enormous back. The familiar scent of his body wreaks havoc as it makes its way into your brain. That musky, leathery scent. The scent that makes you want to do unspeakable things. Your hands search for the buttons of his plaid shirt. He beats you to it as he straightens up and rips it open like a wet piece of paper. Just when you thought you wouldn't go even crazier. He leans in at an agonizing pace. His breath fans over your face as he whispers, "Shall we go to bed,” looking straight into your soul.

Joel puts his arms under your knees and around your torso. You let him lift you up. You can feel your arms snaking up around his exposed back. Your hands stop at the back of his neck. Then you are carried out of the kitchen. To the narrow hall of your house. To the dingy but quaint staircase. And finally, to your bed. His eyes never leave yours. Yours never leave his.

And as the night becomes deeper and all of Jackson falls into a bottomless slumber, it hits you.

You are in love.