#patch 4 woes

[csphire]

BG3 Patch 4 woes

Update: *waves a white flag* Puts all my mods back into the game and most of the old saves. Even after removing the mods, reinstalling the game, and updating my graphics card the damn kiss still doesn't work. So. I. GIVE. UP!

I only have the kiss on Anna so, after weighing all the pros and cons, I'm just going to keep my mods and progress. Given Anna's game was started waaay back when the full game dropped, and all the patches she's been through, I wouldn't be surprised if perhaps the kiss only glitched with just her. Cautiously optimistic Larian will fix the kiss for everyone eventually. Until then I'm just going to just play and try to enjoy the rest of the game.

....

Previously:

(Just venting here. Feel free to ignore it.)

Yesterday, after I noticed we got hotfix for patch 4, I decided to load up my oldest save with Anna and tried to kiss Astarion. As usual, since patch 4 dropped, I got nothing. Frustrated, I changed Anna's hairstyle back to her old default one and tried to kiss him again. Nothing. I then created a new save and closed the game. After I removed all my mods I loaded up that new save and discovered I can't even click on anything now.

"Great, just fucking great!" I mutter to myself as I created another save after removing all the mods. I then shut down the game, booted it back up, and reloaded the "fresh save" in the hopes that would fix it.

Nope! Of course, it did not work. Again, I couldn't click on anything. I next tried to make a new game. I got the infamous half-a-dozen naked guys around the Dragonborn Durge chilling in the astral area bug. Never in my life have I been so disappointed at seeing so many pixel dicks at once.

So yeah, at this point, I'm pretty sure I've lost everything. Still, I try not to cry about it. Instead I look at it as a chance to start fresh. To widdle down all my Tav's and Durges I made to my top favorite five. Plus since I made a habit of taking lots of photos during character creation I figured, "Hey at least I can easily recreate them and this time avoid some of the mistakes I made in the past."

Silver lining and all, right? Before uninstalling, I did try to verify the integrity of the game's files, to no avail. So, I bit the bullet and reinstalled the game. I did back-up my old saves, but I doubt they will work even after the reinstall.

My only complaint is the waiting. It's been well over 15 hours, and the game has still not finished downloading. I'm currently at 61%. Yaaah for potatoe download speeds. If this reinstall doesn't work, I might cry then. As I'll have to uninstall again, dig into the folders, and make sure all files have been purged.

Due to this headache, I think I'm going to run a vanilla mod-free game for the foreseeable future, which sucks because at least two of my fav Tavs/Durges use mod heads.

Rest in peace my lovely favorite Tavs and Durges, at least for now. <3

Vincent: Mod head, hair, and gear. My grump Durge that I won't be able to recreate anytime soon. ;_;

Gustav: Mod hair and gear. I can recreate him, but I'll miss his lovely fluffy hair and fancy outfits.

Anna: Just mod hair with her and my oldest play through with the least amount of mods active. She also had the pre-patch 3 dye looks I will dearly miss. The one plus side is I can recreate her in my sleep since I've made her dozens of times over since EA. But she was the only playthrough I had in Act 3 with a repeatable kiss option.

Tav: Mod head and gear. My other playthrough I won't be able to recreate until BG3 updates slow down or at least stop breaking mods so damn hard.

"Dammon"

Dammit, okay for him... I might break down and install two mods-but only the two! One that unlocks his eyes for character creation and another that lets me turn any of the companions into him. My thirst is strong for Dammon. I need more of him in my game. This is not negotiable.

[britcision]

So I made it 4 years without being struck down by AO3 Author Curse! But here we are. I’ll spare y’all the details but let’s just say “fuck this year” and leave it there. We’ve had the requisite Third Bad Thing and I will burn the universe down if it goes for a fourth

What this means for y’all, of course, is that there’s been a long ass break between last chapter and this one! Aaaaand this one is being broken in half because it is Longer Than Tumblr Allows

(And they’ve lessened how many paragraph breaks you get cuz this one is only about 9.5k and it made me add it in thirds, woe is me)

So, as usual, links to the first chapter, last chapter, and the link to the AO3 version is I think in BOTH, so if you can’t find it from there I can’t help you 😁

First Chapter:

Last Chapter:

And just a little recap where last we left off:

Bruce has gone to the Watchtower to debrief the Justice League about Amity Park and the Anti Ecto Acts, and been told that Jason has left the land of the living! But like, on purpose

Jason and Danny have gone to visit Frostbite and learned that they are ghost-bonded, which you should take seriously like being ghost-married, and that Jason is gonna pop out Pitty in a couple more days/weeks and have to emotionally raise a ghost-baby

Tucker, Tim, and Conner are all playing video games and hiding out from the Amity Parker/Bat Chat for Tim and Tucker’s mutual stalking ways, which Sam blew wide open by sharing Timblr, as punishment for Tucker not telling her they were all alive

(Danny’s off the hook cuz Tucker was haunting his phone with soundtracks for half the day)

And Damian’s off being Sketchy And Mysterious

————————

Well You Did Get Down On One Knee (part 1)

The evening was beginning to draw in, the sun getting low over Gotham city. Between her patrol the night before, helping Signal out with a case, and then that brief group heart attack about Jason, it had already been a really long day.

Spoiler cracked her neck a couple times and sighed, then sunk into the shadow behind a gargoyle.

It was smaller than usual… and occupied. Robin glowered up at her, leaping up to sit on the gargoyle’s head instead. He looked for all the world like he wanted to hiss at her like a cranky cat, which diffused all of Spoiler’s tension (but would only make his worse if she mentioned it. Maybe tomorrow).

Sighing philosophically she settled back against the base of the gargoyle, tipping her head back to see him.

“Hey… what are you doing out so early? Usually you lot wait until sundown to swing from the shadows,” she pointed out (rather fairly, she thought). Totally ignoring that she was 1000% usually one of “you lot”.

Robin just scowled disdainfully down at her, then twisted his head away to glare at the city instead.

“As if I needed any more reason to be out than you do,” he sniffed archly.

Spoiler grinned, puffing herself up. She did have an answer for this one, and, being generous or not, winding Robin up was always a treat.

“Hey, I was actually requested today. Signal needed a second pair of eyes on the back door of a bust. Didn’t see you there,” she added innocently, a brow rising.

It was technically possible that Robin could have suited up and left the manor in between Bruce’s message and Tim’s response. Spoiler wouldn’t put money on it though.

He’d have had to be on his way down already, and while they could all change quickly, there were no rushed or sloppy patches to her experienced eye.

His hair was even neatly slicked back into the traditional Robin spikes, one every Robin but her and Duke had used during their time as the baby bird.

Nah, he’d not rushed out in a panic, even if he was still more tense than he should have been. Every line of the kid was tight with… Spoiler cocked her head thoughtfully.

Frustration?

Definitely not unusual, Damian didn’t have Dick’s temper but he’d spent pretty much all of his first few years in Gotham unbearably frustrated with them all. It had just been a while since she’d seen it so… visibly.

And for all Steph was a gleeful little shit and loved poking at trouble, she wasn’t cruel. There was no point in pushing Robin if he was already on edge.

So she shrugged nonchalantly and looked forward instead, reaching back over her head to pat him gently on the foot. He didn’t dodge, which only cemented her decision.

“‘Course, no rule against taking a daylight run if you’re in the mood. See anything interesting?” She asked innocently.

Kid wouldn’t admit it if he had been worrying.

Silence reigned for another long moment, and then Robin huffed and dropped down to the rooftop beside her, folding himself back into the sharper shadow the waning daylight provided.

“No.” Short and sweet, unlike the kid himself.

But he also hadn’t left, and Spoiler was gonna call that a win.

“Will you be out tonight too?” She asked instead of pushing, reminding herself yet again; he’d open up in his own time.

Hypothetically.

Robin made a soft, disgusted noise, glowering at the smog filled sky. Probably even in the right direction for the Watchtower.

“I intend to be. Someone must keep an eye on things,” he grumbled, and Spoiler made an effort not to take it personally.

B had been majorly distracted with all this Amity Park business, not even breathing down their necks about the usual nightly reports. The rogues hadn’t exactly noticed yet, but the goons had.

The big Bat himself not making an appearance for a couple of nights usually attracted some comment, and an up-til-now entirely Bat-free new year?

The guys she’d helped Signal grab today had been muttering about it right until they ran into her arms. Fists.

They’d mentioned not seeing Stabby Robin either though.

Which she might as well also mention.

“Weren’t you out last night too? I saw your gear missing when I dropped by at the end of the night,” she added when he tensed again, hands wedged in her utility belt. “Didn’t hear you on comms though.”

And that was more than just rude; it was bad protocol, and Robin, for all his other faults, respected the strictness of protocol. Not being chatty was one thing, but if you were out on the town you had to call in.

He stayed silent, not looking at her. Spoiler decided he could use just a little nudge. Totally not because she was getting impatient. And nosy.

“Y’know unless you went out tech free I can just ask Oracle,” she pointed out gently, giving his shoulder a gentle bump.

It got him to glower up at her anyway.

“I was not on patrol,” he grumbled, whites of his mask narrowed before returning his glare to the city at large, “like I am not today.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Spoiler flipped a mental coin. Figured why not; they were already doing well.

Kid must be on the verge of having to, dread the thought, ask for help.

“And what would you be doing out and about if not patrolling…” she began, then stopped when a piece clicked suddenly into place.

Robin, Damian, was about as social as a feral cat. And about as friendly with anyone who got close to those he considered his.

Right now, Danny Fenton and his friends had more than half the family utterly wound up. All except Bruce in a good way, Spoiler was the first to admit, but Robin wouldn’t see it like that.

The only trick was, how to word the question.

Spoiler liked blunt. It made her stand out from the bats, who all played way too much mental and emotional chicken to be healthy. She’d always been more of a bird that way.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with Hood’s little disappearance today, would it?” She asked instead, grinning broadly when Robin twitched.

Hit the nail on the head.

From the scowl he shot her he knew it too, and looked away quickly enough that he knew there was no taking it back. He folded his arms across his chest and sulked and fuck he was just adorable.

She’d bet anything Dick used to pout exactly like that.

Still, she tempered the grin down to a slight smile. Dropped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently and letting go when he pulled away.

“Worried me too. Were you close enough to see anything?” Because yeah, if Robin was already at least on his way into uniform before the message arrived?

Spoiler would put easy, easy money on him having been already tailing Jason and Danny around. Last night too, probably. She and Cass had left early to take the night shift, leaving Tim and Damian with the Amity Parkers.

Damian had one hell of a dose of his father’s paranoia, and Steph considered it a solemn duty to teach him about personal boundaries to keep him from turning out just like the old bat.

Just a little friendly stalking from the rooftops didn’t really count though. Not between family.

Robin had tensed right up again too, but when she didn’t push the contact or needle at him he slowly relaxed back down. Scowled at her feet instead of his own.

“No,” he admitted bitterly, both at definitely having been busted and probably at having nothing to report, “Todd… Hood spoke to the magician. They argued, he went back inside Freeze’s place and did not reappear when his tracker went through the roof and into the sky.”

Spoiler blinked, mildly surprised.

“Hood was wearing a tracker? Didn’t think he was in the mood.”

“He wasn’t,” Robin corrected with a derisive sniff.

And… yeah, they were gonna have to do a little more work on that whole “boundaries” thing. Although the odds of Hood not noticing that he’d been tagged were lower than Robin probably thought. Keeping a tag on him that he didn’t want there?

Nah. She may not exactly trust Jason, but that was how she knew how good he was at finding and disabling rogue trackers. And sure, Damian was better than her at some things, but if Cass couldn’t sneak a tracker onto Red Hood no one could.

Kinda cute that Jason let the little guy think he’d successfully bugged him.

At least the constant mild stalking was just standard for the family.

Shaking her head, she gave him a gentle nudge with her elbow.

“That’s rough. Flying’s cheating,” she commiserated with a sly look to the sky.

She’d heard a super cross Oracle’s radar. Conner, almost certainly if Robin was still out alone.

Too bad he’d not thought to call his own Superboy, though taking flight himself wouldn’t have helped if dimensional travel followed.

Robin made another disgusted little tut, then pushed off the gargoyle and stormed away. Spoiler watched him go for a moment, then shrugged.

“Hey, go get some sleep if you’re coming back out tonight,” she called after him. Grinned when he flipped her off without turning.

If he’d been off stalking Jason and Danny two days in a row, he’d need some rest.

“And don’t forget your report,” she teased and actually laughed when he raised his other hand to flip her off with both before leaping off the edge of the roof, swinging back towards the bat cave.

Stephanie Brown had never been prouder in her life than the first day Damian had said “fuck” in front of his dad. Far be it from her to demand anyone transform into a social butterfly, but she personally was pretty damn sure that nothing was gonna help Damian out of his “raised by assassins” shell than learning some good old fashioned swearwords.

And a little teenaged rebellion. The proudest day was totally gonna be when he finally told his grandfather to fuck off (or any suitable equivalent; Steph wasn’t choosy).

Leaning back into the gargoyle’s shadow, Spoiler surveyed the city below. Technically, she’d been out as long as Damian had; if she wanted to be out tonight she’d need a quick nap too.

Or, more fun, she could nip back to the manor, kidnap Cass, and they could find and bully Tim and Tucker in person. Yeah, that was gonna be it.

**

Jason was feeling good, really. Actually a little surprised at how good, considering.

That crunchy little ecto-ice chip had been better than a gallon of coffee, filling him with energy like he’d actually gotten a full night’s sleep. (Not that he knew much about how that actually felt, at least not when not recovering from serious injury.)

He hadn’t actually felt this good since the night Danny slept over, which had been the night before last. Didn’t sound all that impressive, except that it had been the best he’d felt in half a decade.

Maybe the full decade. For all Robin made him magic, skipping sleep to fight crime had done a number on him in his teens. If he’d been as willing as Dickie and Tim to slack on his schoolwork, maybe…

Yeah, no, Tim was the poster child for Do Not Emulate This Sleep Schedule.

What mattered was that even after running the docks down with Black Bat for more than half the night and then getting up to get Danny, Jason felt fucking great.

Even after three separate courses of Bruce’s bullshit, both directly and through the medium of John fucking Constantine. Not so long ago, Bruce would never even dare call him, much less try and set up a bat cave ambush. That… was probably technically a good sign?

Didn’t feel like one at the moment, but Jason actually felt almost good enough to be charitable with the old bat. A little emotionally wrung out, sure, but he felt lighter for… having whatever that had been. Like the stress that had been compacting his chest had finally eased.

Jason was self aware enough to admit he’d probably had more than one breakdown owed to him. Maybe not a “take to the bed”, “trip to the sea” full Victorian lady meltdown, but he’d had a whole baby dropped on him. Except somehow worse.

He damn well deserved that freak out, and now that it was over and he’d been given what kinda felt like the ghost equivalent of speed… He felt like his brain was finally working again.

Which… meant he was fully processing that his fucking soul was vibrating in time with Danny’s. And every other ghost could just. Tell.

That was gonna make fight club… actually, Jason had no idea what the fuck it was gonna make fight club. By all accounts Danny being the Ghost King hadn’t made any of them less likely to throw down with him.

If anything, Danny had warned Jason that him being a “young” ghost would make the others more eager to fight. It was a kind of play, bonding and teaching the new baby their powers.

Sounded fucking terrifying by all accounts and Jason was just glad he had Danny to explain it to him, since apparently full ghosts just… knew it wasn’t serious. Even baby ghosts came into existence recognising the game.

Halfas didn’t.

Whiiiich meant that all the “playful” threats of dismemberment had sounded pretty fucking real to Danny, back when he’d been a baby ghost and had half the Zone flocking to “play” with him.

Pitty let out a rumbly little growl, like a sulking dog and Jason hid a snicker. Yeah, he’d also be kicking their asses that little bit harder for that given half a chance.

Actually, if they kept holding fight club, Pitty could take a chunk out of them itself.

That thought got him a contented little purr, which was weird enough that Jason was going to focus back in on Frostbite’s broader explanation. Which… he should have been doing anyway. At least this part wasn’t solely for his benefit though.

“In the sense that you have tied yourselves together, it may be somewhat like a marriage… however, it is a very different relationship. In a true love-union, your signatures would beat in time,” the yeti explained, gesturing once more to the screen.

Jason’s blob continued to pulse and blur a fraction of a beat behind Danny’s. Definitely not quite in time.

This was a relief. Yup. And Jason’s cheeks definitely weren’t any warmer than they’d been a minute ago, before he knew that, again, his fucking soul was echoing Danny’s.

Frostbite gave his tablet a couple more taps, and a pulsing blue line linked the images on the screen.

“In your case, young knight, your allegiance is marked in both your resonance and in your aura, which now carries a link to your King. In this way, even if the Great One is not beside you, all ghosts will know that you are the chosen protector of their King. His status is what defines your role as a knight, instead of a more casual bond.”

“No one’s king yet,” Danny protested, folding his arms and leaning into Jason’s side. Letting a little more of his weight rest on him.

Jason leaned in too, frowning from the screen to Frostbite.

“And all the other ghosts can just… see this?” He asked, not really sure what he was hoping to be told.

Frostbite switched from giving Danny a fond smile back to Jason, nodding brightly.

“Oh yes. Ectoplasm is very easily influenced by emotion, and bonds can form quite quickly. I presume you took an oath?” He asked, eyes sparkling in a way that made Jason pretty damn sure he’d met Clockwork.

Which, now that he thought about it…

Jason huffed out another deep breath, running a hand through his hair. As much as John Fucking Constantine specifically could ride a cactus straight to Hell… the guy mighta had the faintest inkling of a point about one thing.

“Yeah… about that.” He pulled a face, gaze tracking away from the others and down to the floor.

Would they think he was a dumbass too? Danny had been there when Clockwork made the offer and he’d been pretty against it, but Jason had thought he understood why.

It hadn’t sounded anything like Constantine’s claims of what he’d signed up for.

In the end, it was easier to address the question to Frostbite’s large hairy toes.

“I, uh… I made an oath to Clockwork, but do I have… a contract or something? The asshole magician I mentioned earlier was going on and on about eternal fucking servitude bullshit but it’d be nice to have something to shove in his face,” he added quickly, arm slipping back and almost around Danny (but with his hand still firmly on the table).

He didn’t need to wait to feel the guilt in Danny’s aura to head it off.

Jason wasn’t having second thoughts. He wasn’t sorry for what he’d signed up for, and when it came right down to it…

He didn’t think people could lie through their auras. Even when he was trying to project something like “I’m fine” and he wasn’t, he was pretty sure Danny could tell.

He could sure as hell tell when Danny was bluffing through his, which had happened maybe once total.

He trusted Danny. He trusted Frostbite. He even mostly trusted Clockwork, because for all the guy had been a little sketchy, Jason had felt his sincerity. How deeply he cared for Danny.

Keeping Danny safe forever didn’t sound like eternal servitude. Eternal babysitting, maybe, if Danny was being a pain in the ass, but he’d never top Damian at his most bratty.

Jason woulda been trying to protect Danny anyway. As far as he knew, knighthood just made that easier.

Which was another reason he’d like a look at his contract. You didn’t make it onto the streets as Robin without learning to read for loopholes, hidden clauses, and fine print. He may have already signed on the dotted line, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find some wiggle room.

Danny, about to say something either apologetic or self deprecating, huffed out a breath as Jason’s arm slipped around him. Winded up giving him a half smile instead.

“Yeah… that’s a good point. I still need to find out if I can fire your ass.”

“Still didn’t hire me,” Jason pointed out archly, bumping his arm to knock Danny forwards a little.

The other halfa huffed a laugh this time and bumped him back.

“Yeah, and I gotta work out how to hire you so I can then immediately fire you,” he shot back.

Frostbite cut them both off with a raised hand, though he still looked fondly amused. Like they were cute little kids or something stupid.

“You will have to discuss this with Clockwork directly, young knight, but I do not believe a knighthood typically comes with a contract. It is a duty one is granted, and one that may be rescinded if you fail, but it is not a deal,” he explained patiently.

Jason’s brows furrowed a little, but at least he could feel Danny’s confusion-puzzled-not sure beside him too. He wasn’t the only one who wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

Maybe he shoulda looked a little more into magic shit while he was with the League of Assassins. That would have been the time, especially if the Lazarus Pits were the just grunged ectoplasm.

“It kinda sounded like a deal when he offered it,” he said almost as a question, glancing back at Danny for confirmation.

Danny nodded. So it wasn’t just Jason.

“He gave me a cool magic gun in exchange for keeping Danny hale and hearty. Protecting him in the living and Infinite realms,” Jason added in case the wording counted, more sure as he remembered some of the reasons.

Fuck, had that only been a week ago? It felt like it’d been a whole year.

Frostbite gave them a neutral shrug, inclining his head.

“As I said, you will need to ask Clockwork directly. All I can tell you is that it is not innate to the position; a knighthood is not usually something bought and sold,” he explained patiently.

Danny hummed an agreement, cheek resting on Jason’s shoulder again.

“It’s normally all ghost-to-ghost too, so is there a way we can check if the halfa thing has changed it?” He asked Frostbite, leaning against the table too and totally not actually putting his arm around Jason back.

Jason felt a little more tension leech back out of him. Which raised another good point, actually.

“And not related or anything, but if you gave me a buncha those ice crystals could I just chew them to get the ecto for…” he hesitated, waving his free hand at his general chest area again.

Honestly, given half a chance he’d love to get a bowl full and try and pop the pit out in one go… it’d probably be easier to train from outside his body where it wouldn’t immediately know he was so full of shit… his own aura notwithstanding.

Yeah, he was still a little worried about being anyone’s emotional guide, but if he could just get the damn thing out in the world… maybe it could have other guides too.

“To answer the simpler question first, young knight, unfortunately the energized ectoplasm is only a short term boost and will not affect either of your cores. I will provide you with a small supply to assist your emotional control whilst you stabilize, if you wish?” Frostbite offered gently, a slight smile on his face.

Jason hesitated, considering things for a moment, then nodded. Sure, it wasn’t a solid “yes here is the answer to all your problems Jason just smack it in”, but it was a concrete solution to what had actually been worrying him.

Having another one of those weird “episodes”. He’d still be waiting to get Pitty all the way out, but at least he had a backup plan until then. He could pop an ecto-crystal each morning, get some energy, and worry less about night patrols.

Shit, he’d have more energy than he’d had since he died. The others were gonna be jealous as hell, but it wasn’t like they could steal and take his ghost meds. Probably.

Jason… wasn’t quite ready to think about the panic attack itself. He felt fine now, way better, and it wasn’t like it was the first he’d had.

Just…

Just the first that he remembered. That his heart started racing, his head rushing, ears filled with rushing static and the world hadn’t just melted into a green haze of blood and violence.

His early training with the League of Assassins had involved a lot of losing himself to the Pit. He’d wake up days later, body aching with exertions he couldn’t remember, and be told how many he’d killed.

Good news: no fear of that either, apparently. Pitty wasn’t pulling for control anymore, so the green haze was all Jason’s own.

Joy.

He had a nasty feeling that Danny would notice him spiralling from anywhere in Gotham. And probably ditch class to come check on him.

Like Hell. Jason’d fucking call Harley first, put himself through some breathing exercises or whatever, he did not need an emotional support Ghost King.

He gave Frostbite a quick nod, a small smile forming almost without thinking about it. The yeti was just… so caring and helpful. Not exactly something Jason had a wealth of experience with. He’d probably be a great example for Pitty.

Frostbite returned the smile, making a quick note on his tablet.

“And of course, your ghostly parent or a mentor should also be able to assist you. Spending time with those who are important to you, especially a comforting figure will help both your control and your core formation,” the yeti added in a slightly pointed way, like he’d read Jason’s mind, and Jason had to stifle a laugh.

Frostbite might be an eight foot tall hairy yeti, but he’d get along with Alfred like a house on fire… he was even as stubborn about not using their names as Alfred was about nicknames.

And when Jason thought about someone comforting, the beacon of emotional maturity and constraint… it could only be Alfred. He was more grandparent than parent, but certainly the only mentor Jason still looked up to. And a paragon of control besides.

Alfred could help him with Pitty. Model a little actual emotional restraint and control for the both of them. The only question was if Jason could just be up front and ask him, possibly revealing the secret early, or if he’d have to come up with an excuse for them to hang out.

Stupid thought. Jason knew damn well he could just walk into the kitchen and Alfred would be more than happy to spend time together. He wouldn’t need a ruse; he wouldn’t even need an excuse.

The knowledge settled warm and soft and happy inside him, until his brain caught up with his ears and stopped him short.

Wait.

“Ghost parent?” He asked cautiously, looking from Frostbite to Danny again. Danny pulled a face but Frostbite beat him to the punch.

“Ah, yes. We did not discuss that last time either. Your ghost parent, young knight, is the second strongest bond a young ghost can have. They are the ghost who welcomes you into the Infinite Realms, who will guide your steps and protect you until your own haunt has formed.”

Brows furrowing, Jason twisted to frown more directly at Danny, not quite sure if he was looking for confirmation or asking a question of his own.

Cuz, y’know, other than the whole “protecting until his haunt formed” (and Jason certainly didn’t need protecting), that sounded a lot like what Danny had been doing. Which would totally make it weird if Jason was a knight to his own ghost-dad.

Clearly following the same lines, Danny raised both hands and shook his head, almost but not quite stepping out of reach.

“Oh no, it’s not me. You’ve had a ghost parent long before I came along,” he said emphatically, the sudden panic on his face making Jason feel better about his own response to surprise parenthood.

He magnanimously decided not to tease Danny about it, turning instead to give Frostbite a questioning look.

“Should I know who my ghost parent is? Who gets to decide?” He asked cautiously. He’d never met another ghost before Danny, but he had this awful sinking feeling that Ra’s al Ghul might have more to do with the realms than just the pits, and he was the closest proxy. Even Tallia would be better. Maybe even Bruce.

Reading his tension, Frostbite clapped a massive furry hand on Jason’s shoulder, smile and aura both full of comfort-reassurance-calm.

“Normally yes young knight, though yours is a special case. Usually when a young ghost first finds its way to the realms, one of the first ghosts they encounter will take them under their wing. It is an honour to care for a young ghost, and a halfa even more so,” he explained gently.

Beside Jason, Danny snorted loudly.

“Oh, yeah, they totally come running to play happy families. Super wholesome,” he grumbled, arms folded as he leaned back into Jason’s weight.

Honestly, Jason could kinda spot common threads between what Frostbite just said and what Danny had told him about Fight Club; the play fighting was supposed to be about sharing powers, right? Just, y’know, between people with shit verbal communication to actually check in that everyone was on the same page.

The yeti sighed fondly, his hand moving from Jason’s shoulder to rest proudly on Danny’s. Given the width of Danny’s shoulders respective to the hand, the last two fingers were back on Jason’s other shoulder.

“Again, Great One, your circumstances were also exceptional. You did not explore the Ghost Zone until after you had established yourself to many as a competent fighter and protector of your haunt, which along with certain… adventures led most to believe you were far older than you are,” Frostbite explained patiently, with just the faintest hint that they’d been through this before.

Danny rolled his eyes and shot Jason double finger guns.

“Yyyyup, which is why I don’t have to deal with any of this “ghost parent” business,” he agreed brightly, tipping Jason a smirk, “get good.”

Jason flipped him off, but there was something… not in his aura, Frostbite’s was still very carefully toned back all calm medical professional, but in the creasing of the yeti’s eyes. Now, ghost yetis were definitely a new species and Batman drilled them all on the dangers of extrapolating body language on new species, but Jason had done his time on alien planets.

Something in the change, something in the shift, a little quirk of the brow Jason had noted when the yeti was amused. There was something funny here, and it wasn’t Danny’s quip.

Putting his suspicions aside for now, Jason settled on the more pressing matter.

“So who is my ghost parent? When do I get to meet them?” He asked cautiously, still not entirely convinced he hadn’t accidentally imprinted on Ra’s or Tallia. Cuz he hadn’t been in the Zone before Danny either.

Danny himself, much less concerned, waved a hand vaguely.

“Oh, we’ll deal with that on the way home. Go do a proper meet and greet, that sort of thing,” he said nonchalantly, and Jason’s shoulders settled a little.

“They’re in the Zone then?” He prodded a little further, not fully willing to let the matter just drop. If he had to ghost-emancipate himself, he’d rather be ready sooner than later.

Danny grinned toothily at him.

“Usually. We’ll see if she’s around, but it might have to be another day. Gotta deal with our other list first, like if our whole halfa deal is gonna do anything to the knight thing, or your core coming in,” he added, looking expectantly at Frostbite.

Jason almost missed what he said next as his heart skipped a beat, a possibility he’d never even considered slamming home.

She.

Someone dead, if they were in the Ghost Zone.

Someone who’d claimed him as her son long ago, guided him as best she could. Someone he’d never expected to see again, not even having died and returned to life himself.

No chance, he told himself quickly, hurriedly refocusing on the conversation at hand. About his bond with Danny, about their shared fucked biology, about his whole undead future.

There was no point dredging up the past until he actually knew.

Frostbite was back in his familiar role of teacher, that same proud/warm/fond smile crinkling the corners of his eyes as he looked at Danny.

“For your bond, Great One, I am not sure what I would even test for. The young knight presently has no ghost form, yet the bond is present exactly as if he had. I am afraid we have no records of former halfas, so any problems which occurred before are long lost.”

The yeti gave the tablet another few careful claw strokes, pulling up lines and lines of scrolling numbers and data beside each of their silhouettes on the wall screen. Forcing himself to the present, Jason scanned them quickly.

Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t actually make heads or tails of it; ghost vitals couldn’t really include things like heartbeat, blood oxygenation, or anything they’d test for in the med bay.

Not until Bruce found out about all this crap anyway - Jason wouldn’t put it past him to try and buy out everything the Far Frozen had in his latest snit of paranoia. The second he got over his “oh no Jason is going somewhere I can’t supervise him”, obviously.

Frostbite clearly knew what it all meant though, highlighting a couple of different areas where Danny’s numbers were very different from Jason’s and giving him that reassuring smile.

“After your first transformation I would expect some of these to change, and it is likely that any differences in your particular bond would show then as well. Your ghost form will of course be entirely ectoplasmic, so the bond will be more present than it is even now.”

That snapped Jason from his internal flailing, and he grimaced at the reminder.

Because… yeah. They’d talked a lot about his first transformation, he and Danny. But the only thing Danny hadn’t really known was when to expect it.

“Yeah… about that. I know the basics, inversion of my moment of death crap, I’ll be able to change it eventually, yadda yadda,” and that was its own sword of Damacles hanging with the mistletoe, “but… when will it happen? Like, will it just… happen? Or will I… yeah.”

Even wording the question made him feel like the whole thing was just too complicated. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to ask; what to look for? Would there be symptoms? Would he just un-die again in the street?

Luckily Frostbite seemed much more comfortable, hitting a few buttons on his tablet. Jason’s scan took over the full screen once more, zoomed in on the two orbs in his chest.

They were pulsing too, growing brighter and dimmer along with the more defined throb of the ectoplasm. Which was actually when he noticed that both cores were throbbing, so… was Pitty also a knight?

That was going on the list of questions for Clockwork like, yesterday. If he could get it its own little fear gun…

“As you can see, your core is still fuzzy around the edges and incompletely formed; once these edges have smoothed out, you will hypothetically be able to transform at any time,” Frostbite explained, blissfully aware of Jason’s new train of thought.

Probably for the best. Jason reluctantly refocused on the screen, tabling the idea of Sir Pitty for now. Nice to have something actually positive to look forward to.

He didn’t really remember seeing much of the screen during his last appointment, but he had seen the perfect sphere of Danny’s core, and his looked… well, like Frostbite said, smaller and kinda fuzzy. Like a ball of dough after it started sticking to your hands and losing its shape.

He frowned and nodded, looking back to Frostbite and then glancing around at Danny.

“So not until the next appointment, probably? Will it just… happen out of nowhere? Or will I need to trigger it?” It kinda helped, narrowing the scope. Dealing with it one step at a time.

Danny gave a helpless shrug.

“My powers started activating randomly, but I didn’t actually transform until I was in danger. Not like, life threatening danger,” he added with a roll of his eyes, like he’d heard Pitty’s growl… or maybe Jason had echoed it. “It was just Lunch Lady, she was never gonna really hurt us. She just made a mess and tried to feed everyone meat.”

Jason privately added Lunch Lady to his “asses to kick” list. On principle.

Frostbite gave a thoughtful nod, a large hand clapping down on Jason’s shoulder a lot harder than he’d probably intended. He didn’t flinch, but before his pit-growth-spurt it might have knocked him over.

“We can experiment more once your core is complete here in the Zone, and I would recommend waiting until Pitty has been expelled, if possible. Of course, any other changes in your knighthood bond will likely make themselves known with your first change as well,” the yeti mused, quite pleased with the idea.

Jason hesitated before agreeing, worry twisting through him again before he tamped it back down.

He wasn’t that scared little boy anymore; not inside. Besides, the bond was already firmly in place.

His soul was resonating a pace behind Danny’s.

It wasn’t like that little trip back to the moment of his death was gonna make Danny suddenly reject him.

The poor guy was probably stuck with Jason for life anyway at this point, which for a pair of halfas meant pretty much forever.

**

There was not a single thing on Earth or the Watchtower that he wanted less than to stop and talk to John Fucking Constantine and Diana after the meeting.

To be completely fair, Constantine clearly didn’t want to have that conversation any more either; Bruce had not been wrong about how well the magician would take the news that the United States had declared war on an entire dimension.

He was visibly green, had actually ground an unlit cigarette into a grainy mess against the table in lieu of lighting up, and looked about ready to lick up the tobacco.

Diana did not look happy either, but she never had. Her face was as stony and grave as Bruce had ever seen it, concern writ large even as she caught his eye.

The sure knowledge that her lasso would follow if he tried to leave was the only thing that kept him from ignoring her.

But since the only thing he wanted in the world at this moment was to have his son in his arms, and there was no chance of that happening until they were in the same dimension once more…

Bruce shot a quick, questioning look at Clark as the traitor made his way to the exit along with the rest of the Justice League. The Kryptonian at least had the grace to look a little guilty as he shook his head, stepping quickly out the door.

Wonder Woman hadn’t specifically told everyone else to get the fuck out. She had simply molded herself into an immovable force, concluded the meeting, and instructed Bruce alone to remain and discuss these… complications.

Bruce considered making an argument for Superman’s inclusion. They were the original three, and they’d probably need at least his and Aquaman’s help to handle the diplomatic situation.

Possibly the Oa, and Bruce was quite sure Green Lantern wasn’t looking forward to that possibility any more than he was. Hal Jordan talked a good game, always far too flippant, but he’d been pale enough by the end of the lecture that his suit made him look frankly unwell.

Unpleasant times would be in all of their futures it seemed. It was no real comfort as he slipped into a seat across from Wonder Woman and the slumped form of John Constantine.

The magician didn’t even look up, but clearly noticed.

“Didn’t fuckin’ think anyone’d fuck this up worse’n you, Bats,” he groaned, face still pressed into the table.

Bruce grunted, uninterested in his judgement.

“There are new complications we should focus on.” A vain hope, and one Diana instantly crushed.

“One that makes the contents of our discussion all the more vital,” she corrected sharply, piercing blue eyes narrowed as she watched his face. “It seems we have already caused unintentional offence.”

Which was an extremely light way to phrase the declared genocide, but Bruce didn’t bother arguing that position. Not when Constantine would do it for him.

But the mage just let out a long, hearty groan.

“Offence. Yeah. Maybe if we saw off the United States and toss it through a portal the rest of us will be fine,” he snarked, raising his head just enough to bang it off the table. Repeatedly.

By the third bang Diana gripped the back of his head, holding him in place against the table.

“Whatever the situation,” she growled, her tone daring either of them to comment, “we must deal with it as it is. You believe we would have noticed any countermeasures from the former Ghost King?”

She released her grip a moment later, and Constantine rolled his head just enough to glare at her through one eye.

“Pariah Dark? Sister, it wouldn’ta been a single town bein’ pulled off the map. We’d have lost the continent, and probably the world. You wouldn’t miss it,” he added with a bitter laugh, clearly considering banging his head off the table again.

Diana placed a hand on the table. Constantine set his head back down gently.

“And the new king?” She prodded, all icy control.

Bruce had to admit, even he felt calmer watching her.

He knew all the follies and foibles of gods, had no delusions about the limits of her power. He also knew her strengths. Her wisdom. Her ability to cut through complex issues with sword or words.

Whatever he missed, she was removed enough from this mess to catch.

Constantine shrugged, still not rising.

“No fuckin’ clue. All I know is they’re better’n Pariah, which is the lowest damn bar I ever saw. They call them Balance, and we’re not gonna fuckin’ like when the scales come due.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed. What could be a sufficient counterweight for demanding a whole people be hunted and experimented on until extinction?

The dead always vastly outnumbered the living.

Diana cut across his thoughts, her tone as sharp as her blade.

“So you believe we’d notice.”

Constantine sighed heavily and flopped back in his seat hard enough that he nearly toppled over. Diana steadied the chair with one hand, eyebrow rising archly.

Constantine stopped flailing, went to fold his arms, and instead stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Probably’d be pretty hard to miss too,” he agreed gruffly. Diana nodded, having received the answer she wanted, and interlaced her fingers.

“Then we have time to rectify matters before word reaches his ears.” She paused, brow furrowing as she recounted John’s words. “Do we not know if the King is a man?”

Constantine shrugged again, pulling something unidentifiable from his pocket before hastily shoving it back in, coming out again with a lighter. He spun it between his fingers, eyes fixed on the metal lid.

“Nah. “King” is just a loose translation to living tongues, for what yer used to. Easier to say than “Supreme High Ruler, Core of the Realms”. Not even likely that they were ever human; not even the Ancients could take Pariah solo to take the crown, so a human ghost wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Huffing out a mighty breath, Constantine looked from the lighter to Bruce, his gaze somehow immeasurably more tired. Bruce had imagined that talking about Amity Park made the man look ancient.

He looked haggard enough to be an ancient ghost himself now.

Raising his other hand, he began counting off points on his fingers.

“We know they’re young. Everything agrees on that. Could be any time in the past few centuries, but it’s still a timeline. We know they’re tougher’n Hell and all its demons put together, cuz they put Pariah down single handed. Had to to get the throne. Might not have Ended him, the Casket of Eternal Slumber’s not turned up looking for a new occupant.”

The magician stared at his two fingers for a moment, then sighed and raised a third.

“And we know ghosts like them. They’re less scared, though most of ‘em never knew shit about Pariah. Didn’t even react to him waking, which had to happen for the change in power. That or it all went down too fast for the shockwaves to reach us here; not bloody likely. Wouldn’t take more than a day, and ghosts fight for decades on a whim.”

He hesitated for a moment, considering that last finger. Finally he sighed and shook his head.

“Can’t rule it out though. Pariah waking up’d be as much an emergency for them as it’d be for us, putting his ass back down is an all hands on deck situation on either side of the veil. If this new king is Balance, Pariah’d be their opposite,” he finished gruffly, glaring at all three digits before stuffing both hands into his pockets.

Bruce nodded, drawing a deep, calming breath in through his nose and then out through his mouth. Even this much discussion had something itching in the back of his mind, a building tension that he had to Get Away.

He was in control of it though. Could tell the difference between his own unease and the burning ember of the oath.

Turn and run right away his ass. Magic could never hold out against cool, calm logic.

“And this new king, Balance, has stamped a damn mark on Jason.”

And his breath hitched.

Sharp, white hot panic flared behind his eyes, every muscle clenching with the effort of not leaping straight from the table. The only reason he didn’t was because he had no idea where to go.

What would he even do? Run to Jason’s side? The boy was in another dimension, far beyond Bruce’s reach.

Again.

He was losing Jason again. Losing him to this Ghost King, this Balance, this-

Diana’s hand clamped firmly over his, the amazon’s grip immovable steel. Bruce felt his bones grinding together before he even noticed he’d stopped breathing, before he managed to look up enough to meet her eyes.

Stern, determined, brilliant blue locked with his. Her grip tightened a little further, the ribbing on his gloves creaking with the pressure.

She wouldn’t break them… probably. They were designed to hold up against any of the supers the League dealt with. Prolonged contact was another thing entirely though.

His attention now locked on her face, Bruce managed a deep breath in along with her. Held it when she did. Let it out.

She didn’t release him for another few repetitions, until he was breathing mostly on his own again. Then she returned her attention to Constantine.

“What.” It wasn’t aggressive. Just a completely flat, completely toneless statement.

Constantine gave her an entirely hopeless smile, pulling his hands from his pockets to give her jazz hands.

“And that’s what he’s not ready to hear yet. Your boy, Jason, Red Hood, has gotten himself personally warded by the Ghost King. He’s the next thing to invulnerable right now,” he added bitterly, as if that made any of it better.

An icy hand clenched in Bruce’s chest again, but he forced himself to still. To breathe through it. To not turn and run, run until he found his child and tore him away from whatever influence had him.

The Ghost King had a hold of Jason. Jason who’d all but ordered Bruce to let him go.

“And Jason must have been in direct contact with the King to receive these wards?” Diana asked sharply, and Bruce’s head snapped back to her.

It was a good question. Important, obvious, there was a connection there that he should be making, but he couldn’t think. His head was spinning, heart pounding, and every shadow seemed black as pitch.

Constantine grunted an agreement, shooting Bruce an almost sympathetic look.

Could. Could this be the oath? Not his own instinctive, natural panic?

Bruce couldn’t tell, he’d been so afraid for so long, ever since he held Jason’s broken body in his arms. Ever since he buried his son.

It felt the same. But he had mastered that fear long ago, so this would not control him now. He had to be better.

Frowning at Diana, he leaned forward.

“Explain.” She’d probably assumed that he’d made the same connection. He probably should have.

There was just a brief flash of surprise on her face before her expression softened, her hand gentling over his.

“Jason was the one who told you of these Anti Ecto Acts, was he not?” She asked pointedly, a dark brow arching delicately.

Bruce about managed a grunt of agreement, his jaw clenched too tightly to speak. She waited a moment longer, watching his face, and then sighed.

“Then is it not likely that either he has told Balance of these Acts, or that Balance was the one that told him?”

Constantine jerked and got halfway through a bellowed curse before she cut him off with a glare. Her tone brooked no argument as she continued with a firm, frosted patience.

“Jason is a principled young man, even if not of the exact principles you prefer. Either he has warned you because he believes we have time to fix this, or because the King would prefer we handle it,” she said bluntly.

It sounded so simple, put like that. Far too simple. Bruce shook his head, leaning in.

“We can’t know for sure-”

“Batman.” There was nothing harsh in her tone. Nothing so overtly aggressive as the glare she kept giving Constantine. Just a calm, cool statement that sucked the air from his lungs.

The weight of her own mantle, the Amazon princess who would one day be Queen. Not his friend Diana; Wonder Woman.

Once she was sure he wouldn’t continue, she fixed him with a sapphire stare.

“Do you believe Jason Todd would condone the end of the world?” She asked simply, and that at least was that plain.

“No.” It didn’t even require thought; whatever he feared ever since his son took his first life, Bruce knew that.

Jason was fundamentally a good boy. So kind, so giving, ironically he had been the most well adjusted boy Bruce had ever given the mantle to.

Which was what made what he’d become so painful. It was everything he never should have been.

Wonder Woman nodded as if that solved all the rest.

“And yet you called the meeting, not him. He has known for several days already and did nothing to alert any of us. Therefore, he does not believe this is an urgent threat.”

It sounded good, and Bruce almost believed it before Constantine snorted.

“Yeah, great, except the kid has no fuckin’ clue what he’s dealing with. Didn’t even know he’d been fuckin’ marked or that sellin’ his fuckin’ service was the dumbest fuckin’ thing he coulda done,” he grumbled and Bruce’s heart fell.

Wonder Woman was not so easily swayed. She raised an eyebrow slowly at the magician.

“And could those protective marks have been placed on Jason against his will?” She asked pointedly, like she knew the first thing about magic.

Constantine hesitated. Frowned a little, thinking hard. Finally he threw both hands in the air and leaned back in his chair, scrubbing them down his face.

“Technically, yes, alright? But I can’t think of a damn reason why they’d bother. Like I told the old Bat, it’s technically a good thing; I couldn’t even get a basic diagnostic spell off, he’s completely fuckin’ magic proof an’ anythin’ that can read that ward will run like fuck.”

Something in Bruce’s chest flickered hopefully. Wonder Woman nodded firmly, then redirected her stare to him.

“Then until we have reason not to, we assume that Jason Todd has control of this situation. He has assigned us to deal with these Acts, either before his king discovers them or on their behalf. You, Batman, will defer to his experience along with that of our experts,” she declared with all the ringing command she was capable of.

It chafed. And yet… he could hear the echo of Harley’s words in her voice.

What if Jason was wrong? It was the kind of thing he always thought about, the kind of thing he couldn’t stop thinking about. The kind of thing that had the Batman able to stand and go toe to toe with gods.

But what if Jason was right? What if Harley, Diana, Constantine were right, and his usual measures would spell disaster?

He had a dozen contingency plans that any member of the League could use to take him down. He was painfully aware that the first one, the one he’d already shown to Superman and Wonder Woman, only had two words in it.

Diana’s Judgement.

She hadn’t technically invoked it yet. Had never bothered asking exactly what he meant by it; she wasn’t one to back down from hard subjects, which meant she’d also never bothered hiding how little she thought of his contingency plans.

His League-specific ones, anyway. She liked the ones he had for the rogues and various end of the world crises.

It meant moments like this, where she would give him her honest, simple judgement and reign him in.

(Technically it also meant that he trusted her to decide when she needed to snap his neck, but Martian Manhunter always looked at him with disappointment when he thought about that side too much.)

Looking back to her face, he managed to meet her eyes and nod once. It went against every instinct he had, every year of experience and loss, but…

If he couldn’t do things he didn’t like, he’d never have become Batman.

**

Head spinning with a plethora of new information, bag of ecto candies in hand, Jason deliberately slowed down to let Danny precede him out of Frostbite’s office.

That little suspicion had been growing, kindling the more they discussed halfa anatomy and bonds, and honestly? Yes, he had been using it as an excuse to think about something other than his own problems.

Danny seemed not to notice, disappearing past the doorway as Jason looked up at Frostbite. Figured fuck it; he didn’t know how much time he had. Best be blunt.

“You’re Danny’s ghost parent, aren’t you?” He asked, knowing from the yeti’s face as he did that he was right.

The way it froze for just a moment, eyes flicking to the door Danny had just left through. Then the smile that spread, knowing and secretive as he bent down for the first time to put his face on Jason’s level.

“He takes such pleasure in believing he does not have one; the Great One values his independence highly, and his history with parental figures is… complex. It can be our secret, yes?” The yeti winked.

Jason hesitated for a moment, thinking back to all he knew about Danny’s home life. It wasn’t actually all that much; Danny probably actually knew more about Jason’s, after the last week.

That wasn’t just a rarity, it was practically unheard of for any of the former Robins, and Jason knew exactly how Dick and Harley would react to that information.

They’d accuse him of growth. Gross. They couldn’t be told.

And yeah, maybe Jason had a bit of a personal understanding of why Danny wouldn’t want an overabundance of parental figures around. Their situations weren’t exactly the same, not really, but Jason knew enough verses of the song.

All teen heroes tended to have certain things in common, the biggest of which was whatever parental figure they had failing to protect them. Failing to keep them from the darkness, forcing a kid to take on a mantle and burdens that they never should have.

He’d wanted to pound Bruce’s bones to pulp for putting another kid in his cape. Wound up nearly pounding Tim’s instead, however the pit and Tallia had twisted things to make that seem like the same thing.

And Danny hadn’t just picked up the mantle of Teen Hero. He’d picked up a crown, a whole realm of responsibilities and rulership over the dead.

Personally, Jason thought Danny was missing out on an easy dodge of king duties by not finding his ghost parent; Clockwork was his regent but still apparently bothered him for work.

A parent ruling until the child was of age was behind most of the most brutal regicides in any monarchic system; the dead had to know about it.

But that’d mean Clockwork bothering Frostbite at all hours, possibly. Or Clockwork finding new excuses to keep checking on a crown prince Jason had already seen was a handful.

Yeah, he could see why no one really challenged Danny’s assertion that he didn’t have a ghost parent.

Jason spared a moment wondering about his own again.

He knew better than to hope, he really did. Catherine Todd deserved much better than an afterlife of watching over his many mistakes. If there was any justice to death, she’d moved straight past the realms and into the most perfect of paradises.

He liked to think she’d be proud of him. Of the work he’d done, the good he’d spread through the Alley even if it was on the end of a gun.

So long as it wasn’t any form of al Ghul whatsoever, Jason was pretty sure he could handle any other ghost parent the multiverse could throw at him.

Danny’s head poked back around the corner, grinning in a very worried way between the two of them.

“Everything okay back here?” He asked with some of the worst overhyped cheer Jason had ever heard.

Alright, maybe Danny would actually also have been a problem for ghost parent. Because Jason thought he was hot. Because he was an awful mother hen even as a friend.

Jason raised his bag of ecto candies.

“Just checking how many of these I can safely have in a day,” he said innocently, and kinda hoped Danny didn’t actually feel the wash of Frostbite’s approval as the yeti straightened.

That would give the game away.

“They are not a substitute for sleep or nutrition for your human form,” Frostbite told him, as if that was what they’d been talking about.

Jason sighed heavily, doing his best impression of Tim being handed decaf.

“Listen, a guy can hope?”

“Oh you’re not gonna win that one,” Danny snickered, brightening with the distraction and all but skipping in to take Jason’s arm, “let’s scram before he gets the powerpoints.”

Frostbite gave them a cheerful wave on the way out the door, and Jason managed a mostly sincere smile as Danny began regaling him on some of his teenaged attempts to persuade Frostbite to let him give up sleep for finals week.

Yeah, he might add the Fenton parents to the butt-kicking list. Below the ghosts, obviously, for whom butt-kicking was a social courtesy.

But, y’know. If he ever got the chance to have a quiet word about taking care of your damn kids.

———————

And here we have Part 1! Imma just yeet it up so you can all get started while I edit Part 2, because again, this is a Girthy One without an easier breakpoint 👀

I’ll still try and get Part 2 done tonight, but I’ve kept y’all waiting long enough

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Part Two:

[survival-logs]

WOE. Ancient Bio.

SO I've been thinking a lot about ancient bio and speculations recently and decided to do some of my own for this blog! This will be the first of multiple posts about it (when I get to it lmao.) Anyway, let's start.

This post will go through the most basal of the ancients, maternity, and babies. Take note that my ancients are a WILDLY varied sort which will be gone into in later posts, this one just addresses the bare basics.

Ancient head shape varies wildly, but base ancients will typically be flat faced, or have short, round snouts with long/wide nostrils on both sides of the spectrum. Their necks are thicker and slightly more muscular to uphold the weight of various things, from masks to horns to even heavy swaths of hair or large heads. (1.5, Slight variation in ears, being either droopy to the side or atop the head. Both being small, short, and soft. Ancients sometimes have difficulty hearing with these beyond their masks, and will often augment the mask or ears themselves to accommodate.) 2. Ancient eyes are typically quite large, with big pupils that allow them to see in darker areas and beyond the slits in their mask. Said eyes can tend to be very sensitive, however, especially in the brightly lit areas atop iterators despite the city shadows usually protecting them. 3. Hair, above all, always starts out as a sensory organ. Some feeling is lost as the ancient passes into adulthood, but there will always be at least a mild amount of it through their lifespan. The first type is made up of thick, semi-soft tubes of flesh, similar to anemone. These types expel heat and other such things much easier via a flexing or pulsing motion that often moves in tandem with breathing. The second type are more like whiskers. Coarse, thin, and somewhat stiff. These can be left as is, and often grow into wide manes, or are twisted into complex styles like braided wire. 4. Body types, of course, vary wildly. But ancients are most frequently very thin due to purposeful abstinence from food. Thicker shoulders uphold the same things that their necks do, while also upholding ability to keep more limbs. (Arms, wings, etc). They also have two sets of pectoral muscles for the same reason. Ancients have very little to no sexual dimorphism, as the very large majority are hermaphrodites capable of both carrying and inseminating. Some even have no genitalia at all. 5. There a wide variety of feet, even in the base gene. Regardless of foot type, these feet tend to be large or thick, and have tough pads on the most necessary bits, as ancients can wear shoes, but quite frequently go without. It also assists in the impact of of bodies carrying heavier weight and such things. 6. Ancients also vary between plantigrade and digitigrade. Digitigrade will frequently have more birdlike or pawlike feet, while plantigrade tend more towards 'normal' looking feet. 7. Tails are not an infrequent thing on ancients, being most often like the tail of a cat or a monkey. Long, rounded, and just mildly prehensile in some cases. Though base ancients do not have the most long tails. Tail cropping for ancients is not unlike circumcision. Seen as both honoring their religion, and negating something with a possibility of getting in the way of things later on. Tails are cropped either at birth or at some months old, before the muscles and nerves have had a chance to develop. Now, cut below for bare breasts and maternity things!

Ancients who are pregnant or caring for children are allowed, largely by necessity, far more indulgence than the typical. During pregnancy, it's tradition to host large weekly meals meals among family and friends, for the purpose of fattening the carrier and ensuring they and the baby are healthy. Ancients, regardless of their former form, will grow quite large breasts that fill with blood and milk, that will remain there for until somewhat after the nursing process. Their nipples or 'patches' as they are called (milk/blood patches) will inflate widely. It's common for the carrier to become dizzy or weak in early days as the blood sacs are filled. Not uncommonly, the carrier's partner will also grow breasts due to hormonal factors, and assist in the nursing. 2. Babies, in order to form eventual traits, to gain the necessary antibodies in their weak states, and other such things that will be gone into in another post, they feed upon a mix that is equally blood and milk, secreted from the ancient's patches. To more easily get this, babies have a short calcium cover over their frontal gums that they will use to quite literally chew and tug on the patches. Latching whole jaw on their and just gnawing. And yes, it is a quite painful and not very pleasant process. Nursing ancients will often be given various kinds of numbing medication for the duration of nursing (An unfortunately long process. Longer than humans). Ancients do frequently bottlefeed, but it can be tedious and a pain to get the stuff out with a pump. 3. As mentioned before, there is little sexual dimorphism between ancients. Breasts are less common than being flat chested, but can happen by way of a not uncommon general genetic fluke. This means anybody can end up with breasts. Some carriers never lose their breasts, some ancients who had breasts before will lose said breasts after carrying. 4. Fashion for those carrying tends to be warm, comfortable, and semi exposing and loose. They also do not wear much jewelry, if any so the babies do not try to put anything in their mouths or the like. Breasts are almost always exposed for easy feeding (ancients aren't precious about public feeding or exposure lmao) and the material is soft so it doesn't scrape and irritate the carrier, and warm because carriers can often get quite cold from constantly producing blood for feeding. 5. Babies are very small and....a bit ugly at first. Always coming out wrinkly, pale pink, and deaf/blind for at least the first few days to the first week. They make up for this by having very long, incredibly sensitive whiskers for a time. Usually until toddlerhood, at which point they will fall off. It's a mostly vestigial trait by now, but babies will also largely come out with spots and freckles over their body. Usually black, brown, or purple. Any birth marks take that same color for a time. Babies are typically quite loose skinned at first, for some reason. This causes them to be very wrinkly and old looking until they grow into said skin. Their hair always starts as very very thin hairs, or for the tube haired, will have small indents in their skull from which the tubes will eventually grow out of. 6. Existence is often fraught for ancient children. Their gestation process is shorter than that of a human, and thus they always come out quite small and quite weak. In initial life, they are also very immune compromised until they are able to build their system via the blood and milk they feed on. It's incredibly discouraged to take them away from home until they have started to show traits, as that is the point their immune system will typically be ready for it. Babies are wildly fragile things and must be watched over constantly, and even then infant mortality is not uncommon as one would hope. Ancients will very often have more than one baby as well, so you can imagine the stress of the parents as well. Not to mention babies being notorious for getting into danger at every turn. After all that, is it really any wonder they look constantly goddamn miserable all the time?

[voraciousvore]

The Giant and the Princess (4/10)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Content Warning: Some gore imagery (blood and guts)

Word Count: 2.6k

------ Part 4 ------

The next day, the princess suffered through her tedious routine. She was awakened early, dressed and groomed by a servant, and sent off to her lessons. Every time her eyes glazed over, the strict, ancient tutor would slap her desk with a ruler and jolt her back to awareness. She felt as if she were slowly rotting inside, to resemble a mere shell of a person. As usual, she held back her tears, like she was taught to do from a young age. She couldn’t be seen having a meltdown in public. 

She could barely keep it together, however. Every day brought her closer and closer to her breaking point. Today, her life felt particularly bleak, yet she had a dim hope that pulled her along. She had a chance to escape from it all. Her mind could wander into the woods, away from the castle, to be greeted by a fresh adventure. And maybe, just maybe, a friend. 

Iris knew she was deluding herself, yet she had nothing else to look forward to. She was aware of the obvious danger—but what did she have to lose? She had no source of happiness to speak of, nothing. She was miserable. She had to escape. As soon as she could, she excused herself to the privacy of her quarters and slipped out.  

She used the secret exit out of the castle that tunneled under the walls. The concealed pathway was designed as a contingency for invasion or siege, with a doorway hidden by magic on the outside. The princess navigated the narrow subterranean corridors out into the fresh air. She smiled when the warm sunshine kissed her face. For a few hours, she could be blissfully free. 

Iris wore a light cloak with a hood to cover her face, so she wouldn’t be recognized. She stepped lightly and gracefully over rocks and twigs as she traveled into the forest. The path wasn’t too difficult to traverse, since the trees were widely dispersed. The trees towered over her, instilling a sense of awe. Her inner turmoil was calmed by the quiet serenity of the forest, with the rustling of the leaves in a gentle breeze and birds chirping. Patches of shade were punctuated by pools of golden sunlight that filtered through the forest canopy. Out here, it was easier to forget her woes. 

She heard the flow of running water, and headed toward the river nearby. She didn’t notice, over the sound of the water, that the birds and wildlife had fallen into an eerie hush. As she emerged from the cover of the trees, she had to repress a squeak as she ducked behind a thick tree truck. The same giant that had been prowling the woods for the last few days was sitting next to the river, hunched over a kill. His hands and lips were smothered in blood. He was tearing the intestines out of a half-eaten giant rabbit carcass, clearly enjoying every last little bit of flesh he could pick off of the bones. 

The princess was disgusted and frightened by the brutal display, yet also fascinated. She couldn’t look away as he ripped off chunks of muscle and organs with his teeth, slurping everything down raw. He even crunched the bones into splinters and sucked out the marrow. He’d skinned the creature before eating it and saved the fur, stashing it in a pouch on his belt alongside his poaching knife. He appeared very happy and content as he finished off the last shreds and licked the blood off his fingers. 

As horrifying as the scene was, the princess had to remind herself that a giant that size needed to eat a lot of meat to survive. At least he wasn’t chowing down on humans. Even so, her courage failed her, and she faltered. With the giant engrossed in his meal, he wasn’t as vigilant as when he was actively hunting for prey. The wind was blowing in her direction, so he didn’t catch her scent. He didn’t know she was there. 

She considered sneaking away and making a run for it, but her legs were rooted to the spot. Just because she found the giant interesting didn’t mean she wanted to risk getting torn to pieces like that rabbit. She remembered him swallowing entire men and horses whole like snacks. Yet, he didn’t eat her, not even when he came across her later, and gave her the crown she lost. Why? 

Her curiosity, along with her waxing fixation on the giant man as a solution to her problems, drowned out her caution. She was shaking all over, but somehow her legs propelled her forward, out into the open. When Ajax caught her tiny movement in his peripheral vision, his head snapped up out of reflex. The sudden movement sent a jolt through her nerves, but she didn’t bolt. The giant went rigid, unsure what to do as he recognized her. He didn’t want to scare her, but he realized a giant drenched in blood was inherently terrifying for any manner of creature, big or small. 

The princess felt her breath hitch in her throat. She opened her mouth, then closed it again when nothing came out. The tension stretched out as the giant stared her down with his dark eyes full of intrigue. He’d never been approached by a human, for obvious reasons. Finally, the princess held up her hand and flicked her wrist with a robotic wave. “H-h-h-hi there…” she choked, her face changing colors. 

Ajax didn’t reply right away, blinking with befuddlement. He was still dumbfounded that a human, a defenseless female no less, would be bold enough to come up to him out of nowhere and greet him. The situation was unthinkable. He almost wondered if he were dreaming, but now that he was alerted to her presence, his senses were too sharpened to deny the truth. He was grateful he had just eaten an entire giant rabbit, because otherwise her scent would be irresistible. 

“Hi,” he said back. He smiled thoughtlessly, not considering that his teeth were stained with blood. “Shy, are we?” She nodded, paling at the sight. He noticed her reaction and licked his teeth, tasting the metallic tang. He glanced down at his blood-soaked hands self-consciously. 

“Allow me to clean myself up,” he remarked. He leaned down over the river, dunked his hands into the water, and scrubbed them off. He noticed that the tiny princess flinched as his huge body shifted, but she didn’t flee. He was impressed by her foolhardy bravery. She was made of sterner stuff than even most men: He'd seen plenty of grown human men cry like children at his mere presence. Of course, he gave them good reason to. He smirked to himself as he washed off his face, particularly his mouth. 

“I apologize for my appearance,” Ajax vocalized awkwardly. He didn’t know proper etiquette for royalty. As he finished cleaning his face, he smoothed down his hair with water, so it wouldn’t be quite so wild. He turned to face the princess with a mild expression, trying to reduce how intimidating he looked. 

“It’s okay,” Iris squeaked. She avoided his gaze, struck with shyness. Her face flushed. With his countenance freshened up and his hair tamed, the giant man was surprisingly comely. 

“What are you doing out in the woods this time, little princess?” Ajax asked. The corners of his mouth turned up as he drank in the details of her cute, petite figure. He laid down on his side to be closer to her level, planting his elbow in the dirt and resting his head on his fist. Even in this position, his great mass loomed over her. Iris’s mouth gaped slightly as she surveyed his form, sprawled out like a living, breathing mountain range far above her.  

“Um…” She snapped out of her reverie to face him. “I, uh…” She was tongue-tied. The words she had carefully prepared in her mind eluded her grasp. “I wanted to see you again,” she finished lamely.  

“Is that so?” Ajax replied, a genuine smile lighting up his features. “What a coincidence, because I wanted to see you as well.” His smile faded, and he grew more serious. “But why would a refined lady like you want to be around someone like me?” 

“I just… I’m lonely…” Iris admitted, taking a step closer. She kneaded her hands with anxiety. 

“Lonely? You’re a princess! Don’t you have armies of servants in the castle, to attend to your every need? To wait on you hand and foot?” 

“Yeah…” His words hit a sensitive nerve, and the princess’s outward composure began to crumble. “They don’t care about me at all. Nobody does. I’m just a meal ticket to them. My parents don’t love me. They hardly even talk to me except to berate me for my errors or lecture me about my duties as a princess. If I wasn’t of royal blood, nobody would even look in my direction.” 

Her eyes began to water and her voice shook with emotion. “I feel like a sparrow in a gilded cage. I’m pampered, but never touched or let out. I can’t take it anymore… I just want a real connection, for someone to treat me like a person, to hold me and care for me…” 

She broke. She hunched her shoulders and buried her face in her hands, ashamed of the tears she held in for so long. Ajax was perplexed by her sudden confession and breakdown, and not sure how to react. His first thought was to comfort her, but he worried that reaching for her would have the opposite effect, with how massive and intimidating he was compared to such a tiny, fragile lady. He gazed down at her awkwardly, not moving. 

“Princess?” he asked, keeping his voice soft. “Would you feel better… would you like me to…?” He trailed off, but moved his big hands closer, keeping them open while curling his fingers slightly. The princess sniffled and nodded vigorously. Gently, the giant cupped his hands around her and lifted her off the ground. He cradled her in his hands as she huddled into the plushy folds of his warm palm. Her tiny body was wracked with sobs as she wept harder, releasing all her pent-up despair.  

Sympathy stirred up the sediment in his heart as Ajax examined the small woman in his hand. She looked so vulnerable, so broken, yet she completely trusted him. She came to him, of all people, a gigantic devourer of men, for comfort. She must truly be desperate. He couldn’t comprehend what the life of a human royal must be like, when it was so foreign to his own. His biggest day-to-day concern was filling his capacious stomach.  

She had access to all the food she could ever eat, and all the material items she could possibly want, to enjoy a life of luxury. Ajax would be envious of such treatment, except for the fact that she was obviously lacking in other basic needs. He had a family that loved him and the freedom to wander the woods and do as he pleased. She was neglected and unloved, trapped in an unsatisfying life full of weighty expectations, despite being blessed with status and beauty. He didn’t understand how someone like her could be in such a tragic situation, but he wanted to do what he could to help her. 

He wrapped his fingers around her. She leaned into his touch, hugging one of his fingers with her arms. Slowly, so as not to disorient her, Ajax rolled onto his back. He pressed her tenderly to his chest, enveloping her with his hands in a way he hoped was soothing. Her tiny form snuggled up to him as she gripped his shirt. He could feel her shaking as she let it all out, creating a wet spot on his shirt. He stroked her with his finger, rubbing her back in tiny circles. A strong protective instinct emerged from within him, urging him to keep the small woman safe. 

The princess cried for a while. It was cathartic, to release all her pain that she kept bottled up inside. The giant’s steady heartbeat, along with the rise and fall of his mighty chest, helped to calm her down. She melted under his touch, reveling in his body heat and masculine scent. His considerable mass all around her was almost overwhelming, yet she felt protected. For once, somebody held her and cared about her. She felt as if he could keep her safe and sweep her away from the nightmare that she was ensnared in. 

Ajax held still and allowed Iris as much time as she needed to get out her demons. Eventually, her tears subsided down to soft hiccups and snuffles. “Thank you…” her tiny voice quavered from under his hand. The giant lifted his hand to peek at her. 

“No problem,” he answered softly. “You seemed like you needed a big chest to cry on.” 

“I know I must seem awful. For a privileged person like me, to whine about all my woes, when I could have any material possession I could possibly want. It’s disgusting. People resent me for my wealth. I can see it in their eyes.” She sniffed and wiped her cheeks. 

“No, no, don’t think like that,” Ajax assured her. “Such things are meaningless when you’re so unhappy, and you have nobody on your side to give you affection.” 

“I’m so glad you understand,” Iris responded. “You’re so kind.” 

Ajax chuckled. “I’m not so sure about that, little princess, but you can believe what you want.” She smiled weakly. She poked her head out from under his fingertips and glanced up at the sky to observe the angle of the sun and frowned. 

“I should probably get back,” she sighed. “I can’t stay out for too long. If anybody notices I’m missing, there will be trouble. The last thing I want is for them to block my only way out of the castle.” 

“Very well,” Ajax said. “Would you like me to take you back?” Iris nodded enthusiastically. Her eyes widened and she grabbed one of his fingers as he rose to his feet, sending her up high in the air. He steadied her with his free hand, supporting her back with his palm. She found a more stable position on the squishy surface of his skin and looked up into his enormous face with awe. Ajax swelled with ardor. She was so precious. He never knew someone to be so trusting of him, so thankful, so amazed by his every movement. He liked the feeling. He liked holding her, when she fit so perfectly in the dip of his hand. He felt big and strong and impressive in her eyes. 

He was reluctant to let her go when he completed the short walk to the castle, but he knew he must. He couldn’t be so selfish as to take her away with him, as miserable as she was with her life in the castle. He gently set her down in the grass, kneeling over her. The princess clasped her hands together as she stared up at him. 

“Will I be able to see you again tomorrow? If I can get away?” the princess inquired, almost pleading. “I don’t even know your name…” 

“Of course,” Ajax promised. “And my name is Ajax. I’ll be here for you, little princess. I can easily locate you with my sense of smell.” He tapped his nose. The princess bobbed her head. 

“Farewell then,” she called up to him with a wave. She turned around and crossed the protective barrier. 

“Goodbye, princess,” Ajax answered. “Until tomorrow.” He stroked his beard as he watched her go, until she disappeared from sight, before returning to the woods. 

Part 5

[snarkys-malarky]

Snow Time like the Present

Not really happy with the title name but I wanted to throw in my donation toward Tech Tuesday!!

This version is SFW and can be read by those of the 13+ crowd I feel. If you want the spicy version, hit me up. I may post it later anyway if I get time.

I live off the dopamine dump from comments, reblogs and reviews.

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I wasn’t sure how I kept getting myself into weird situations but it seemed to be a trend in my life that had no intention of slowing down. Sitting inside of a grounded space craft, freezing my arse off while waiting for the other person I was with to (hopefully) return was definitely, I felt, outside of normal for most folks. This other person with me insisted on cheecking on the hyperdrive for which, and I quote, my assistance was unnecessary. I wasn’t sure what I did to make him dislike me but (ok, well maybe I have an idea but I apologized) try as I might, I couldn’t get on his good side. I credited it to the way I met up with him and the odd but loveable bunch of misfits that was his family.

After all, I was trying (accidentally) to kill them.

A fact for which I have repeatedly apologized and done my very best to make amends for but some people just refuse to let bygones be bygones.

It wasn’t even personal. I was in a bit of a spot and the guy who I owed quite a bit of credits to insisted that bringing in the kid would wipe the slate clean and I would be free to go. Considering he had my ship impounded and I couldn’t get off the dirtball where he reigned supreme without it, I agreed. I’m no professional bounty hunter, how was I supposed to know she had 4 older brothers who would literally do anything to protect her?

And is it my fault that the kid and I got into a tug of war over the blaster and the kill/stun switch got moved from stun to kill just as I pulled it away from her and then had to fight for my life against the running tide of death that suddenly rounded the corner and was chasing us?

It’s not like I intended to hit goggle guy.

With my abysmal aim, I thought it was a miracle I hit anyone at all, and it was just a flesh wound anyway, only grazed his thigh…kinda.

I tried to explain that once they (of course) caught us. Funnily enough, it was the kid and the small mountain of a man (who I later learned was called Omega and Wrecker respectively and both of whom I absolutely adore) who decided to use their superpower of irresistible baby tooka eyes to keep the others from killing me on the spot just for the principle of the thing. The pale one (whose name is Echo and who has a never-ending supply of corny jokes) just rolled his eyes and went to help the one I accidentally winged while the bandana wearing hottie (Hunter, who needs a massage more than anyone I have ever met) just sighed and turned to me. I offered to help patch up goggle guy (called Tech and the source of my current woes) but the death glare said goggle wearing guy sent me killed that. Granted he was doing a pretty good job on his own with the stuff from his backpack.

Hunter, arms crossed and broody scowl firmly in place, was the one to interrogate me and find out why I was trying to kidnap their sister.

Like I said, it wasn’t personal. I just wanted my ship back and to get the hell off that planet. I couldn’t even tell them why Horgan (that was the guy holding my ship to ransom) wanted her. He just said she’d been kidnapped and was worth a lot of money returned and he didn’t plan to kill or slave her.

I do have some principles after all.

Getting the hell off that planet would suffice as well since I didn’t figure Horgan to be the type to expend the energy to come after me, especially if he still had my ship. Losing my ship would hurt for sure, it was the only thing I really had and my way of making money but, in the balance of the galaxy and my personal life or death, I had no problem leaving it.

Imagine my surprise when Hunter (after a stern look from the kid) offered a ride off planet.

Since my momma didn’t raise no fool, I jumped at the offer and followed them back to their ship, listening the whole way to the pale guy and goggle guy list reasons why helping me was a Bad Idea.

It was kinda funny when Omega turned to look at both of her complaining brothers and told them they were better than that just like she was their mother.

It was even funnier when they both shut up and looked away, just like they had been scolded by their mother.

Considering that clones don’t have mothers I figure that was another of Omega’s superpowers. However, I didn’t know that at the time, about them being clones, so my snort laughing at their faces probably didn’t help my situation but it didn’t get me left behind either so…win.

They were all shocked to discover, on our way back to Ord Mantell, their apparent base of operations, that I had been a blockade runner during the Clone Wars for several Republic planets and was about 9/10 of the way to having my healer certifications.

Ha, not the shiftless no good you guys just assumed I was.

How I ended up on Partoola was a long story and one I didn’t like to think about so I gave them the redacted version.

The heavily redacted version.

Which was something along the lines of “I don’t know you and I don’t want to talk about it but it involved nothing illegal and I’m not wanted by the Empire”.

Which was more than they could say so I call it fair.

My skill set allowed me to easily get a job on Ord Mantell (apparently even almost healers were rare in the Outer Rim, especially Core trained ones, and I was a hot commodity) and it wasn’t long before I had a shitty little apartment and found myself often hosting the young Omega and Co. when they were on planet.

I blame it on the fact I could cook, and liked to cook, and had money with which to buy food to cook and they all, to a man (and child), greatly appreciated food that wasn’t rations.

The first time I invited them over to eat, by way of apology for trying to kidnap Omega and giving Tech a new scar, I wasn’t sure they would come. I had cornered them at Cid’s, their official, unofficial, hangout, about a month after our adventure together. I had seen them several times before as Omega had decided before we even made it to Ord Mantell to adopt me, like I was some kind of lost tooka kit, and insisted on comming me whenever they were on the planet and wanting to see me.

Which usually meant me meeting her at Cid’s and either spending time losing repeatedly to Omega in dejarik or, if a brother was available, going on chaperoned walks to the market square and buying Mantell Mix, for which she had a serious addiction.

This time she had greeted me enthusiastically by jumping into my arms (it was a good thing I was tall for a female) and telling me she was glad to see me alive.

I had to wonder at what all this kid experienced for that to be her go to greeting.

All four of the men were gathered at the bar, drinks in hand and turned to look at me with a synchronization which was a little bit disturbing, to be honest.

I put on my best smile.

And noted Tech look down with a frown.

Oh well, can’t win them all.

I repeated my carefully rehearsed invitation and was please to note Omega’s eyes light up and she began to bounce. A good indicator that my invitation would probably be accepted, no matter how the others felt about it.

That child had them so whipped.

If she ever figured out how much I wanted ring side seats.

I was also gratified to note Wrecker’s hopeful expression and even Echo looked intrigued.

Hunter, as usual, looked cautious.

Tech just kept looking down.

In the end, the invite was accepted and I and my tiny apartment played host to a group of clones who acted like they had never had real food before.

It was a bit of a cringe thought to think that maybe they hadn’t.

After poking and prodding and carefully sniffing (even though they all commented at some point how good it smelled when they arrived) they all began to eat.

And eat.

And eat.

Holy kriff was I glad I estimated on the larger end of the scale how much to cook because they cleaned it all up.

And no one spent any time hesitating over dessert when I brought it out, instead falling in with enthusiasm.

I noticed Tech’s enthusiasm seemed to be just a bit more than the others and took amused note that he was the apparent sweet tooth in the bunch.

There then followed a much more relaxed atmosphere of food filled males. Once I turned on the holonet and found a program which Tech and Omega both latched onto with enthusiasm, I set about cleaning up the disaster as I observed them with no small amount of amusement. I knew by now they lived on their ship and wondered how often they had such an opportunity as this, to do something that most beings considered so normal and mundane.

It wasn’t long before all but Omega and Tech were steadily filling the air with the soft sounds of sleeping males. Those two were still glued to the holoprojector. I finished my cleanup before making my way to the small sitting area and settling onto the floor next to Omega. I had snagged from the back of the sofa the large throw and, after sitting, unfolded it to share across with Omega and Tech as well. He demurred, saying he was not cold which left Omega to gleefully gather up the remainer and burrow into it, leaning into my side and cuddling down until her head was nearly in my lap.

I was pretty sure she would be asleep before long.

I was right.

I looked down and grinned when I heard the soft sounds of her snoring, not being able to resist petting that fluffy blond mop. I ran my hands thru her hair, scritching gently at her head. I looked up after a moment to find Tech gazing intently at us. I offered him a small smile and was again disappointed as he turned quickly away, fastening his attention to the screen in front of us.

I sighed quietly.

I found myself after that night mass cooking at least once a week for six. At first, they used an array of flimsy excuses to find a way to finagle an invitation until I finally took the bantha by the horns and told them I really appreciated getting to exercise my cooking skills again and also get to have company which just so happened to intimidate the local nasties enough that they tended to steer clear of my apartment block when they decided to practice their main skillsets of B&E.

Maybe it was a slight stretch of the truth but the upshot was I got to have company and cook, they got to eat and spend time somewhere other than their ship and I had the safest apartment in that not particularly great neighborhood.

Another upshot was I occasionally got tapped to come with them on missions (read money making gigs), especially if there was the possibility of Omega needing to be kept out of trouble.

The first time I went because I happened to be off work for a couple days, was bored, and Omega gave me her class 1 baby aak eyes, which, so far as I knew, no one had the power to resist.

The subsequent times after that I had no good excuse except I liked this scruffy bunch of nerfs and I took advantage of the time they were gone to convince Omega to try and help me clean the ship enough to get the godsawful smell down to a dull roar.

Honestly, an enclosed space inhabited only by males is bound to be bad. Add in the fact that none of them seemed to have the slightest idea of how to clean just made it ten times worse.

The first time Omega and I did it, we pretended like nothing had been done and watched covertly for reaction. Wrecker and Tech seemed oblivious but Echo took a couple of deep breaths, gave us both a nearly teary-eyed look of gratitude and walked by. Hunter kept deep breathing and looking confused but pleased.

After that, Echo found a reason for me to go on as many missions as he could manage. And I usually went because, well, because why not? This ragtag bunch had become as much family to me as I had ever had and the idea of something happening to them without me knowing about it was unbearable.

Which is what ended me up in my current predicament, i.e., freezing my shebs off on a Force forsaken planet in a bid to help Tech, who out of them all seemed to like me the least. It was just supposed to be a quick supply run for Cid. The others were recovering from some very bad street food which I had not been present for and Tech refused to eat anything from a street vendor. They had all shown up at my door in the mid evening that day with a pale and sweating Omega carried by Tech, the rest of them in not much better shape. After a quick med scan, I confirmed what Tech had already been telling them, that they all had a bad case of food poisoning. I could tell he was trying hard not to I told you so his miserable siblings but it was a near thing. I had him help me to get them all settled, with Hunter and Omega getting my bed and Echo on the sofa with Wrecker on a nest on the living room floor since he was way too big for the sofa or anywhere else. After administering some low dose antiemetics and making sure everyone had fluids and vomit containers, Tech went back to the Marauder to get Lola for Omega, who had asked so pitifully for the stuffy that I could almost visibly see Tech melt before patting her head and hurrying off after the requested item. Hunter then asked(begged) me to go with Tech since Cid was being her usual arse of a self and demanding a supply run job be run since ‘Tech was still fine wasn’t he’?

It seemed the Batch had a personal rule about no one ever being alone, especially on ops. I tried not to giggle at the thought of picking up a load of alcohol as an op even as Hunter hit me with his own version of baby aak eyes and I folded like a tent in the wind.

So, after making sure none of them were about to die whilst we were gone and after Tech’s obligatory arguing about why I didn’t have to go, he eventually gave in and off we went.

Then the hyperdrive, which Tech had said was fixed since an earlier trip where it had blew, turned out to not be as fixed as he thought and we had been lucky to be thrown out of hyperspace instead of blown to miniscule bits. It just sucked that we were thrown out with the only breathable atmosphere planet close enough for emergency landing being an icebox that probably classified as many species version of hell.

I know it was certainly contending heavily for mine.

After what Tech referred to as a “controlled crash landing” which was Tech code for the ship didn’t end up in a mile long debris field of component pieces, we unbuckled and got up to assess the damage. I was not the mechanic or techno whiz that Tech was but I had flown a ship thru the wars  and knew enough to tell what was what. We both began to check over the ship, me with the manual check and Tech checking diagnostics. It wasn’t until I heard him let loose a particularly vicious Huttese curse that I began to worry. When he said he needed to check outside I looked out the cockpit viewport to note it was snowing. He opened the ship to go out and assess the damage there and the burst of freezing air that whipped in and against us both was enough to steal my breath and cause an instant cascade of chills. The snow I had noted thru the viewport was coming down heavily. I looked at Tech and tapped his vambrace since he was already in his helmet. He turned to look at me.

“Are your blacks thermo-regulated for artic temps as well?”

“To a degree. The time before bodily damage occurs is relative to the ambient temperature. And the health of the wearer, of course.”

Of course.

“Set your timer then.” I told him. “If you’re not back in 20, I’m coming to find you.”

“That will not be necessary.”

“That’s correct, because you’re gonna be back in 15 so I don’t have to!” I yelled over the sound of the inrushing wind.

He stepped out and I closed up the ramp and set a timer on my comm. Then went into survival prep mode. I had no idea if long range comms were down or if this icy rock was inhabited. Figuring we would need to save as much power as possible, I started building a nest in the warmest interior part of the ship. Keeping warm would be of vital importance, as much as hydration and I knew this ship would get cold fast. I pulled the thin excuse for mattresses off the two racks and laid them together then gathered all the blankets and pillows I could find, even taking down the ones in Omega’s “room”. I pulled the med scanner and rations kits and extra hydration packs and placed them together in a pile near the makeshift nest.

I checked my timer and then sat down at the navigation console to wait.

The sad thing was, I knew we would probably have to huddle together to conserve body heat and any other time I would be thrilled at such a prospect. While he seemed to have a bit of a problem with me, I really liked Tech.

Like, really liked Tech.

He was everything I found attractive in a male. Terrifyingly brilliant, witty, funny, kind, caring. Not to mention just as deliciously gorgeous as all his brothers. There was just something about him that ticked all my boxes and even though probably any of the others would have been an easy win if I wanted to, of course my attention had to get fixed by the one out of the group that seemed to have some kind of allergy to me.

I had noticed his reticence around me and I had gone out of my way to engage him, thinking that maybe he was just shy and needed someone else to make the friendly overtures. After months of knowing them, I had come to know the others fairly well. However, getting Tech to talk with me had been difficult. I hit on asking him about things I heard him mention since he always seemed to have something to say but little opportunity to do so. Once he realized I was not teasing but sincere he could carry on about a topic in astonishing detail. Honestly, it was intimidating how much he seemed to know about just about anything you could ask. I loved listening to him enthusiastically talk about whatever the topic happened to be. It only took occasional questions to keep him going. And I would think we were making progress toward becoming friendly if not friends then he would back off again, shrinking back into himself and it would feel like starting all over again from the beginning.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing wrong. Sometimes I would see him looking at me, his expression unreadable before looking away. When I was with them on jobs, he would have that soft, almost smiling expression sometimes when Omega would ask me for stories while in hyperspace, cuddling up to me on a rack and falling asleep while I spoke. I wished I could figure out where I was wrong stepping but it would have to wait.

I checked my comm. It had been 25 minutes. Worried, I hurried to the ramp and opened it, just in time to see Tech stumble from under the ship and against the side of the ramp. Even though I was in no way dressed for it, I ran down the ramp, reaching to catch him as he stumbled again.

The cold was mind numbing.

Somehow, we made it back up the ramp and inside and I slammed my hand against the panel to seal the hatch. Tech fell to his knees. I scrambled down beside him and reached to pop the seal on his helmet before pulling it off. He was shaking so hard he couldn’t manage it.

His face was pale, his lips tinged blue. I swore loudly.

“Why didn’t you come in sooner?” I fumed as I worked to get him out of his armour.

“H-h-had t-to rep-pair long d-d-distance relay. B-boost c-c-comm signal. I c-can’t f-fix ship without p-parts.”

I was really worried at his disjointed and slurred speech. I managed to get him to the nest of blankets I had made on the floor and half pushed, half rolled his shaking form onto it. He curled into himself and I worried even more. I pulled off his gloves and unlatched and removed his boots, socks and vambraces, checking over his hands and feet as I went.

Damnit. Toes and fingers both showing signs of early frostbite, I cursed aloud once again. The stubborn kriffer. I bundled him in everything we had and grabbed the med scanner.

A quick head to toe scan showed me what I already knew.

He was hypothermic. I debated whether or not to strip him out of his blacks. They were crafted to keep the wearer’s body temperature regulated, yes. But they also appeared damp in the spots where they were not covered by armour. Erring on the side of caution, I began to run my hands over his body, trying to see if his blacks were wet or just appeared so.  I discovered they were actually wet in several spots and argued myself for a moment before gritting my teeth and tugging the items off him. Not an easy endeavor.

Of all the ways I had imagined getting him out of his clothes, this had not been one of them.

I had found one heating pack in the medical supplies and used it now. I started the thermal reaction and tucked it next to his hands as I began to take off my shoes. I had to use the biggest thermal heat producer I had available.

Which was me.

I crawled up next to his still shaking form. Unsure if he could hear me or not, I still told him what I was going to do.

“So, smart one, you’ve managed to give yourself a nice case of hypothermia. Since we are all out of sources of synthesized warmth right now, we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.”

I apologized as I pulled the blankets back quickly and wrapped myself around him before tugging the blankets back into place. I laid my head against his icy cheek and spoke.

“I know I’m not exactly your favorite person but I’m all you got at the moment for a heater and I’m not about to let you freeze to death just cause you don’t like me.”

I hugged him close, trapping his hands with the warmer between us and rubbing my warmer feet gently against his to try and keep the circulation going. Toes he might could live without but I knew Tech would be lost if he lost any part of his hands. He buried his face into my neck, his breathy pants hot against my skin even as his skin was still much too cold. I rubbed my hands softly over his back, encouraging blood flow. I kept talking, telling him not to go to sleep, making him answer questions and using every method I could think of to keep his mind engaged enough to not slip into dangerous slumber. I knew as he warmed it would be harder.

It seemed forever before I felt his hard shakes begin to subside into softer shivers then occasional tremors. His body softened against mine, curving in more closely as he was able to instinctively seek the warmth he was too immobilized to be able to do earlier. I snaked a hand between us and felt gently along his hands and fingers, asking if he could feel here or if this tingled. His groggy answers eased some of my concern. I used my feet on his to perform more or less the same maneuver. He still had a few tingly spots on his feet but that was better than numb so I decided to leave it for the moment until I was sure his core temp was closer to where it should be and he was out of danger.  I was also now having to fight against my own adrenaline crash and subsequent shakes and sleepiness. Having his big, warm(ing) body wrapped around mine was not helping me win that battle. I wanted to drift off to sleep quite badly myself and it was only my still lingering fear for him that was helping me to fight it. I struggled on for a bit longer but when I felt myself jerk in that almost asleep but shouldn’t be reflex I knew I was losing the battle.

I wiggled an arm free and reached just above my head where I had, with way more forethought than I had thought myself capable of at the time, placed the med scanner. I turned it on and ran it awkwardly over what of him I could reach in my position. Thank the freggin Force it was showing him out of the danger zone. I laid it back over our heads and squirmed my arm back under the blanket again. Tech shifted against me and somehow, miraculously, managed to wrap even more of himself around me.

I was beginning to wonder if clones had some snake DNA in the mix.

I could feel his breathing edging into the deeper rhythms of sleep and decided it was safe to let him go.

For that matter, I decided it was safe to let me go as well and let the warmth we were now cocooned in work its magic.

I wasn’t sure how long I was out but waking up was deliciously disorienting. The first thing I noticed was being warm… very warm. The next thing I noticed was the spot where my head was resting was moving rhythmically up and down.

Something my pillow usually didn’t do.

I shifted a bit and realized I was shifting against something.

Make that someone.

My eyes shot open as the someone I was wrapped around, and who also happened to be wrapped around me, breathed deeper, body stretching as one does when slowly waking as the arms around me convulsively grew tighter and the hands began to languidly stroke over my back and my head, where one hand was buried. I tried not to move as I realized parts of me were extremely close to parts of him and I had one leg in a very strategic position.

It was very disturbing, to be simultaneously so very comfortable and relaxed and yet nervous and terror struck. Add in the fact that I had said someone running their hands over me like I was a pet tooka and my body and brain were stuck in a feedback loop of not knowing how to respond so I simply lay, frozen and unable to move a muscle.

“I do not dislike you, you know.”

What?

My mind was simply not making the necessary transition from sleeping to waking fast enough to follow.

I must have made some kind of sound because he continued.

“I do not dislike you at all. In fact,” he paused here and took a deep breath, a fact I could know for certain as my head was still resting on his shoulder, tucked in the space between the natural curve of his neck and chest. And boy, did he smell good.

“I… I like you very much.” This came out in a hurried rush.

That seemed to unlock me and I raised my head to look at him. I forgot I had pulled off his goggles and laid them to the side as well earlier and ended up practically nose to nose with a set of warm, golden brown eyes locked with mine.

Of the many times I had imagined confronting him and having a similar conversation as this and all the smart, logical, witty and cogent replies I had imagined myself having, alas my reality was immensely deficient and boiled down to a surprised sounding, “Y-you do?”

Reality was a bitch and vastly irritating and I would be having words with her later about the fact that I couldn’t seem to form necessary words at extremely important times.

But that was later since right now, I was hypnotized by watching the eyes that mine were locked with grow increasingly darker and that big, long-fingered and amazingly dexterous hand still on the back of my head press just enough that I finally clued in to what was happening, took the hint I hoped I was being presented with and leaned forward, pressing my lips to the ones just a breath away from my own.

Dear gods, he had amazing lips. Soft yet firm and perfect for the activity they were currently engaged in. I wasn’t sure which of us the soft moan I heard originated from but it definitely fit the mood. I had longed to taste him and now I was being handed my desire and I was not about to waste it. I slanted my mouth against his, pushing my body up just a bit so that I could glide the hand of the arm that had been wrapped around his torso up that chiseled chest and around his neck. I dug my fingers into the soft hair at the back of his head and there was no mistaking the moan that I heard this time was from him. He jerked me closer, a move which made the precariously positioned leg mentioned earlier slide hard against the hard thing it had been trying to avoid.

The effect was electric.

Tech gasped sharply, his hips jerking up hard against my traitorous leg, which seemed to have a mind of its own. I couldn’t resist the lust driven impulse to sensuously rub my leg over him, eliciting a sound I knew I would probably be hearing in some of my hotter fantasies from here on out. I slid said leg up and over his hip, causing me to groan as well as the shift in position allowed me to feel the hard, hot length of him against a very needy part of my anatomy. It caused me to curse quite fluently mentally at the fact I happened to still be wearing clothing. Even so, instinct still won and I couldn’t help my own hips from seeking friction against his. I felt his entire body shudder against mine and was gratified that this time, it had nothing to do with being cold.

He gasped my name against my lips as he continued to ravage them as our bodies moved against each other in increasing need. I wanted him so much I could barely string two thoughts together but the problem was I didn’t just want his body (which was smokin hot and definitely worth wanting). I wanted everything about him that had drawn me into this honey trap to begin with.

And I couldn’t just enjoy his body without making sure the rest was coming along for the ride as well.

I somehow found the willpower to dig deep and push him back for a moment. The look of confused dread on his face nearly caused me to stop with my intentions but my heart was, surprisingly, speaking louder than my hormones at the moment.

“Tech,” I panted, “I’m not gonna lie. I want you so bad right now I can barely think but I don’t want to do this if you are going to regret it later or if its going to make things weird between us,” I could feel my courage waning under the look he was leveling at me.

“I just… don’t want you to hate me later,” I hated how small and unsure my voice sounded at that last and turned my eyes from his, certain I had not only killed the mood but any burgeoning fondness he might have developed for me.

I felt one of those big hands I had somewhat of a fixation on gently cup my face and turn it back to his. It took him softly saying my name though before I could drag my gaze back to his.

“Mesh’la I must apologize for giving you a wrong impression. It seems in my attempt not to importune you with how I felt toward you, I have instead given you the opposite impression. I have never disliked you. In fact, from the moment we met when you shot me to now I have been impressed over and again with your courage, kindness, intelligence and beauty. I have never been good with expressing my feelings or reading those of others and I did not want to make you uncomfortable with me if all you felt toward me was friendliness. If that was all I could have then I was determined not to make it awkward. However,” a soft grin lit his face and hypnotized me with how excruciatingly handsome it made him, “I have recently come to suspect that you may feel more than just general friendliness for me. Would this be a correct assumption?” he asked, a bit cheekily I felt since we had all but been dry humping one another just a few moments ago.

I, however, managed to answer both succinctly and pertinently.

“Yes.” I said before dragging his head back down to mine and fastening my mouth to his.

His hands, clever things that they are, didn’t waste much time in divesting me of my clothing. My enthusiastic help probably was a boon as well. His eyes burned with appreciation as the last bit of my clothing was flung who knows where and all of me was visible. It was quite a stroke to my ego I had to admit to have a man as physically attractive as him admiring and desiring me. I considered myself quite average physically, neither fat nor skinny, a bit on the taller side but pretty much just your average, everyday female. I reached out, pulling him to me then pulling the blankets around us both.  The question on his face was easy to interpret.

“It’s too cold to waste good body heat.” I said with a smile and he grinned at my humor before I wrapped my arms around him once again. We both gasped and groaned at the sensation of being skin to skin. He hovered over me, a look of uncertainty on his face.

“I do not wish to crush you. I am a good deal heavier than you.”

I smiled up at him, “I’ll let you know if that becomes an issue. Right now, I can’t think of anything better than having your entire body pressed against mine.”

He answering smile lit up his face and made him look boyishly happy.

After that, there wasn’t much in the way of coherent noises, much less speech, for quite some time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was nearly a full rotation later before his brothers, in a ship that looked as barely flight worthy as they did, barely recovered as they were. The ship was on loan from Cid with the understanding that someone besides her would be paying for its use but, it arrived with what we needed to fix the ship and get off that frozen rock.  I could tell Hunter immediately knew what was up as soon as he stepped on the ship and removed his helmet. He shot us both a Look before, surprisingly, a small grin then turned to help Wrecker who had called out from the bottom of the ramp. Tech and I swapped glances before moving to help, him warning them about the danger of the extreme temperatures and me to oversee the control panel as they hurried to make the needed repairs. Omega had been left back on Ord Mantell with orders to fleece as many of Cid’s clientele in dejarik as she wanted. A task I understood she set to with great glee.

As I sat relaying information and swapping quips and insults over comms to the group of men working to repair the ship, I smiled at the thought that this was my family now. A family I had never expected but one I could not imagine my life without now.

When I felt a pair of ice-cold hands slip down my shirt and cup my breasts as I shrieked only to hear Tech chuckle behind me. I grabbed his arms to pull him down to where I could kiss him properly, deciding perhaps the galaxy didn’t hate me as much as I had always thought.

The whistles and catcalls of his brothers behind us notwithstanding.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 25/03/2024

The Life and Times of Wade L.D.

Season 3 Part of: The SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis

Directed by Smoky, Chaze the Chat Music by dante Full list of credits on Wiki

Requested by Jiko Music! (Request Form)

Five years. It's been five whole years since the third season of SiIvaGunner came to an end. Five whole years since, in some ways, the channel began charting a course that would change it's direction forever. Season 4 Episode 1's mission statement was incredibly concise - to return the channel's chaotic, unpredictable nature of the Season 1 days, and to deliver on the absolute titan of an event that was the King for Another Day Tournament. After various production woes in the Christmas Comeback Crisis' main storyline and a newfound interest in other ventures through the King for a Day Tournament, it became evident that there simply wouldn't be much room left over in the itinerary for the channel's ongoing storyline in 2019. And so, in a way, Season 3's finale marked the day that the channel's storyline bowed out to a backseat position - yet with The Life and Times of Wade L.D., they did so with utmost splendor.

I've said before on here, at least way back on 時の回廊 ＜ver. CCC＞, that I don't wish to get too hung up on dissecting the Christmas Comeback Crisis storyline in particular - compared to most other lore on the channel, the form it takes is one that any average viewer is well able to dissect and watch on their own without much added context needed. I adore the series and wish to celebrate it - particularly its later endeavours - with my whole heart, but if I did I feel as if I'd inevitably be writing up to pages in the triple digits. Yet even if you're not all too familiar with the Christmas Comeback Crisis, be it as a newer fan or just plainly someone uninterested in the lore, it's pretty immediately noticeable that The Life and Times of Wade L.D. has a far different feel to it than other endeavors in the series. For one, the story told doesn't follow a character like Wood Man or Smol Nozomi or Haltmann, but an entirely new character - one who is created and (seemingly) ceases to exist entirely within this storyline. It is in some ways a standalone story - one that, perhaps more noticeably, is presented in an incredibly unique fashion - through an chronological archive of various recordings, emails, receipts, logs and photographs all centered around the titular Wade L.D. character. A character who, for the first time in the Christmas Comeback Crisis story, depicts the life of the everyman in Grandiose City - those who are not heroes nor villains, but are simply trying to exist within this strife-filled world that The Voice Inside Your Head unleashed at the series' beginning. Three years deep into this storyline, and it's officially become so much more than just the fun Kirby: Planet Robobot spoof that Patched Plains Fusion Collab, Mother's・Caption (We Paused The Channel For HOW Long?! Mix), The Noble Haltmann and so many more rips were all themed around. With Season 3 in particular, we'd gotten so many deeper insights into how this universe's world and operations were undergoing, small little peeks behind the curtain - it only makes it all the more befitting for the season to end with a full-on investigation of the truth. "Trust Nobody. Doubt Everything."

I believe its fair to say that The Life and Times of Wade L.D. was one of the most ambitious individual videos the team had made at the point of its release. Throughout its entire, gargantuan 30-minute runtime, we're spoiled with quality in so many different areas, from the fantastic artwork that maintains the story's mysterious atmosphere perfectly, to Smoky's remarkable writing being able to effortlessly ping-pong between seriousness and sly comedic jabs and references, to the soundtrack done entirely by the CCC series' sound director and certified GOAT, dante. Before the King for Another Day Tournament had the world floored, it was The Life and Times of Wade L.D. that kept impressing me with every turn - the commitment the team still had to this story, despite the clear signs to move on from it that they would eventually take in the years to come, was awe inspiring.

All of this is punctuated by what perhaps sets the story apart the most from other CCC productions - the full voice acting of all spoken and/or recorded dialogue. Season 3 was still a time where the voice acting the channel would have was typically in jest, either through sentence-mixing, text-to-speech, or through jokey rips altogether such as Haltmanna feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. Before Season 4 Episode 1 and onward would bring proper voice-acted performances for characters like John NotWoodman, DJ Professor K, and Joke-Explainer 7000, we had this. And perhaps unsurprisingly, it is that titular character, Wade L.D. himself, voiced by ripper CaptainComedy, who through my every rewatch still impresses me most in his performance. At once, CaptainComedy's performance feels tired, fed up, exhausted, yet also like someone no more different than you or I - a true everyman, a cog in the machine, yet one with pent-up anger and frustration building up inside of him, anger that comes out as events unfold.

Its hard to not get excited, as a big lorehead, to have the narrative in question focus so much on loose ends set up by prior CCC events and Haltmann's Archives videos. The presence of 2B from Nier Automata as a prominent character, the direct callbacks to the first-ever side story in Waluigi's Tacostand and establishing its bizarrely critical plot importance, the building drama between Haltmann and The Voice, the investigation onto SiIvaGunner's empty house and the traces of Woodman's presence there from the very start of Season 2...there is such an overarching feeling of satisfaction throughout all of The Life and Times of Wade L.D., as if I'm being genuinely rewarded for having paid attention to all of the channel's workings ever so extensively. All capped off by a genuinely touching narrative about the gradual collapse of a man's life.

Yet more than that satisfaction, what I love most about The Life and Times of Wade L.D. - above the music, the story, the artwork, the lore, or whatever else - is how much it still truly feels like a SiIvaGunner production. CaptainComedy's performance is incredible, yes - but right alongside him, you have channel founder Chaze the Chat playing a literal self-insert of himself, dubbed by only the most modest amount of investment into the role, althewhile making references to Maroon 5 and Kara's Flowers. There's references and nods to prior CCC episodes, an ongoing bait-and-switch joke that sees "Dr. P", set up to be a reference to the Dr. Piccolo meme, actually turn out to be referencing Dr. Pavel of Baneposting (Maskettaman - Dr. Pavel's Fly​-​So​-​Good) fame. There's just this subtle cheekiness to it all - never any sign that the episode and the storyline aren't being sincere, yet with countless signs to remind you of just how much fun the team are having in producing this story. A beating heart. A passion.

There are so many readings one could make of the storyline, that I don't know where to - or even if I should - begin. In our real world, the SiIvaGunner channel is a passion project driven entirely by voluntary contributors, a group of people contributing to a greater whole as a hobby out of love for the channel, their craft, and one another. It stands in stark contrast to the version of SiIvaGunner that The Voice Inside Your Head seeks to create, a symbol of the whiniest of fans of the channel's early days, and it stands in even starker contrast to what Haltmann further wishes for it to be - to produce rips as content, as products, as a job to attend just like Wade L.D. himself does. Wade's journey is one of excessive overwork, of burnout - perhaps not of making rips, yet with work pertaining to SiIvaGunner itself althesame. The environment Haltmann has created necessitates that Wade finds escapes from his job in order to feel relieved from it, that his work offers him no relief or fun - that the act of contributing to SiIvaGunner's growth is, at this stage, no longer something done out of passion. The Christmas Comeback Crisis, as meme-filled as it and the entire channel its hosted on is, is a form of a dystopia, if a subtle one, and the insight we get into Wade's life shows just how dire a project like SiIvaGunner could, in a far-worse world, be.

I could, really, as I said before, go on forever about this, about any Christmas Comeback Crisis episode. The series means the world to me, the CHANNEL of SiIvaGunner of course means the world to me as well - but it was, as I've said many a time before, through Season 2 that I unabashedly fell in love with the project. The Life and Times of Wade L.D. was everything I could have ever wanted a side story of the Christmas Comeback Crisis to be, and it warms my heart to see so many people from the team still cherish it. Be it dante reminiscing on how important of a project it was for him as a composer, or indeed this post's requestee, Jiko Music, arranging the episode's main theme for RIP^2 just last year with the beautiful LD. Its clear that it's so much more than just another piece to the SiIvaGunner lore - as perhaps SiIvaGunner's best Season finale second only to the one Season 7 just provided us, The Life and Times of Wade L.D. is downright incredible.

[simptasia]

How did girls and Charlie handle their periods while on the island? Were there any pads/tampons available? Or was it all lost or in small quantities?

I've thought about this!

First of all, yes I do think there are pads and tamps on the island, as there would have been plenty in assorted luggage. This program just didn't think this needed to be addressed on a show that was about survival for it's first,,, half a season? Indeed, in all of LOST there are two acknowledgements that periods exist:

Claire saying she's late when she's taking a pregnancy test

Kate going from suspecting she's pregnant to being absolutely sure she isn't, implying she got her period

And I suppose in between eps, Sun must have been late for hers in order for her to suspect she was pregnant

Overall, LOST only acknowledges periods when it absolutely has to, and even then is rather hush hush about it

Anyways, I think post crash, Sawyer did his little magpie thing and gathered up everything he could get his greedy hands on. This included period supplies. Then as time went on, more and more ladies came to him for supplies. And this freaked him out, so he was like "oh fuck this" and literally threw the bag of bleedy supplies into Jack's arms. And from then on, it's Jack who's in charge of that. And he's entirely not weird about it, because he's a fucking surgeon

I don't care what goes on in reality, I choose to believe that a man who has literally had his giant hands in people's spine pasta, wouldn't be too bothered by the fact that vaginas expel meat pulp

The first 4 seasons covers 3 and a half months so thats about three periods for every uterus having person on the island. However! There are varying circumstances at play here!

Let's go thru this, character by character:

Shannon: Dies a month and a bit into this, so she had time for one period, maybe two depending on when in the month she has 'em

Claire: She was pregnant until November 20th. So no periods during that time frame. After which, she would have had very heavy post pregnancy bleeding, but not for very long, because the magic of the island would have made her body recover much quicker than regular people. Then she would've continued periods somewhere in december onwards. And for three years she was all on her lonesome but she had access to the survivor's abandoned camp, so she would have used up the last of the bleedy supplies until eventually running out and. free bleeding. Fucking hell

Sun: Got pregnant very early into the survivor's time there. And gave birth after they left. So she had no periods on the island

Kate: Probably had time for a complete three periods, with at least one that she was a little late for

Charlie: Mostly doesn't get periods, like, his are incredibly irregular. This leads to him believe that his T patches make good enough birth control. He is wrong and stupid. So maybe he bled on the island, maybe he didn't. If he did, he would have never in his life asked Sawyer for period supplies. He'll bleed into his crotch socks

Ana Lucia and Libby: Did not have access to the Sawyer and later Jack controlled Period Supplies. Because everything was worse for the tailies. Also I think being shot 4 times in the uterus means Ana Lucia can't get periods anymore. Tho as I typed that I realised the Island could easily fix that. The Island fixed Jin's balls. So there's a thought for ya: Ana Lucia getting periods on the island and being like,,, what the fuck. what the Fuck. cuz that's a literal miracle

Charlotte: Was only on the island for 16 days and I'm gonna be nice and say she wasn't on her period during that time. Because 1. She was bleeding enough and 2. To spare her the indignity of asking for pads from people who don't like her :(

Juliet: Girl lived in a cult commune for 3 years, so she's good. Had time for maybe one period with the losties, and for sure Jack would hold open his jackpack and proudly display the tampies for her

Final notes: Fair to assume Rose is post menopausal. Woe be to Alex when she got her first period, not due to lack of supplies (again, cult commune) but because it made Ben even more insane. Annd finally, pour one out for Danielle Rousseau. 16 x 12 = 192. Give or take

Oh and the dozen or so background ladies of the survivors too. So either there was a lot of supplies or they run out maybe after the second month? I dunno man, either way Sawyer got overwhelmed

Side note: my Mum liked to point out when ladies tummies are bloated in shows because that means the actresses were on their periods (their voices would get a tad whinier too). She did this a lot when we watched LOST. There ain't no rest for the fertile

Tho, if you also wanna be weird and take notice of this, Kate's tummy isn't bloated in season 6 due to period, Evie was literally pregnant

Just some trivia for ya

Thank you for your time

[myjustice]

spoilers for pt. 4 of lantern rite, thoughts mainly focused on furina.

at first i was concerned that her & hu tao meeting was going to be another little jab at furina's trauma concerning the floods & the people that were lost to the waters & other things ( because she genuinely carries a lot of guilt with her over it & the powerlessness she felt for the last 500 years & just making false promises that she herself as she was had the power to help them when that wasn't the truth ), so i'm really glad that it didn't end up being the case & it ended up being an entirely different thing.

by the sounds of it furina might be testing her wit on making a horror film which i would love to see personally. i hope this comes back full circle in a later patch - would love to see who she thinks would make perfect actors to star in her horror film, it'll probably be characters from liyue since liyue folklore seems to have been the source of inspiration for this film idea she's trying to iron out.

i'm glad that we caught the fontaine cast as they were leaving liyue because i really wanted the lantern rite to be more heavily focused on the liyue cast. i love the implication that the fontaine characters were there enjoying the lantern rite as well though!

i can't express just how happy i am that furina got to meet zhongli first out of the seven & that she got to spend time with him in the company of hu tao. she genuinely enjoyed their company & i adore & i'm so happy that she did because it emphasizes that her isolation isn't something she does with pleasure. furina doesn't like to be alone, she doesn't want to anymore. being on her own is just something she was forced to live with, self-isolation to cope with what may come her way & threaten her spirit. the fact that she can kick it off with others so well is wonderful & that she feels so at ease & comfortable to just be herself around them.

furina being able to tell there's more to zhongli than meets the eye by a mere conversation was awesome. the exhaustion i feel when people want to discredit her ability to critically think on her own or that she's too "childish" to connect two & two on her own is ridiculous. also this one shot of zhongli looking so happy to see her in person is very cute to me.

it gets glossed over that the seven see furina & her expelled divinity as one entity ( individual interpretations from the fandom/fanon aside ), so betwixt them they hold her at a very high esteem for being able to successfully deceive the heavenly principles which is an entity that they all fear ( for good reason ). they don't see furina &/or focalors, they just see furina who has simply destroyed her throne & is now like zhongli & venti are, they're just three retired tired & exhausted ex-archons. furina, however, does not fully have her memories intact, she only has vague recollections of her very old life. should that ever return to her in full swing or not is still very much in the air. it's neither a yes or a no.

anyway, i'm glad that it can't be argued that furina cares so much about neuvillette. he means a lot to her. & that she thinks of his wellbeing & is hopeful about him giving himself a chance in this world even with his lack of interest for it which she has known he has for the longest time. she knows him so well it's actually so lovely to see it play out how it does. she's using the traveler as her middle man, to pass on her message to him but i'm hopeful for the day where these two will get to talk to each other again & reconcile as she continues to find a healthy way to sort through her traumas & her woes to where it's not entirely consuming her anymore. having her see that she's deserving of love & is worthy of it & that it's genuine is the day i'm so excited to be able to see & witness for myself. for hundreds of years furina encouraged neuvillette to integrate himself more & more into the human world so that he for himself can see the beauty she saw in it even through the struggles & pains that come with it so i'm sure hearing the advice furina told the traveler to pass on to him was a song he was all too familiar with. him admitting & coming to terms with that is very important to that part of their relationship.

hearing clorinde regard furina as her friend no doubt meant the absolute world to furina & given how familiar furina is with clorinde it was important to me that she heard it from clorinde the most because furina knows clorinde wouldn't just say & toss the word friend around so lightly & so mindlessly. it really strengthened the foundation afterwards for furina to call them both her friends as well a few moments later because that was reassurance to furina. clorinde just saying this is what friends do for each other was letting her know that they really see her as their friend & that it's okay for furina to consider & see them as her friends as well because they already consider her as part of their group. it made me so happy. they all came separately but they all depart together.

in general i was pretty happy. it was so nice to see furina again. she means everything to me.

some tid bits that i found so funny were the implications that zhongli really did avoid neuvillette which the conflict in that is something i love because there really is a deep rooted conflict there by relation that needs to get addressed & ironed over & not fixed by the power of friendship.

hu tao saying that neuvillette was a friend of furina's that still had a lot of growing up to do because it's true, hu tao isn't wrong but it's just so funny that it came from hu tao, not because i believe her immature, but because her saying it out of anybody else is implying something.

& then the fact that furina vaguely recalls neuvillette's age as a result of hu tao saying that neuvillette has so much room to grow. i didn't know there was so much controversy around it because from the very beginning it was made clear that furina knew he was the sovereign. you may interpret the text as you want. both cn/jp say that he's at least a thousand years old while the english translation say he's several thousands which, both in essence, are not wrong. furina counting his previous dragon incarnations into his current one isn't anything new, at least to me.

regardless, i'm happy furina got to spend time with zhongli. they're good friends now.

[csphire]

BG3 Woes

-Want's to play BG3 but can't decide which character to play when I open the game. I've got more than twenty because as a writer I keep getting ideas for new Tavs and Durges. -Wants to romance Dammon but can't. The mods to transform companions or playing as Dammon helps but only a little. Just frustrated we can't get to know him more. -Terrified of the Strange Ox killing Dammon bug is still ongoing. I dunno if I can handle watching him get killed if I'm not fast enough. (Come on Larian, give Dammon more than 8 hp you meanies! Or hells any modders out there that could up it to at least 25 hp like Alfira's that would be fantastic!) -I don't want to slog through Act 1 again, ugh. Noooo... -Can't kiss Astarion since Patch 4 dropped on the only playthrough I've gotten where I can even attempt that. Yes, this issue has actually made me quit just short of completing the game on my only playthrough that's in Act 3. (This issue has been ongoing since mid fucking Oct! Each patch and hotfix is not doing anything to fix that but yeah sure wiggly dangly bits are more important I guess.) -Almost too scared to get to a point where I could get a repeatable kiss with another character to only find out I can't kiss any of them. -Thinking about removing all mods to run a vanilla game. Pros it might fix the kissing problem (Ha sure I wish!) and there will be less choice fatigue. Cons crappy dye options, no more transforming anyone into Dammon and giving up on a lot of progress on a lot of characters. Also, some will not be re-creatable as they have mod heads and/or hair. Oh, and I tried to do a clean reinstall before, and on the only playthrough I can kiss Astarion still did not work or fix anything.

Any advice? I want to still keep playing but because of all of these issues, I'm feeling a little bummed and burnt out. Is anyone else having any of these problems too?

*The bright side is it's led me to do more writing at least. I got around to posting those three one-shot fics on AO3 and here. Plus currently have thirty or so pages down of a Dammon/Astarion/Karlach/OC MGIT multi-chapter fic started.

[hughungrybear]

Me while watching Last Twilight Ep. 7:

I am sooooo ready for the real flirting and courtship between P'Mhok and Nong Day to commence 😁

1. So yeah, I have read so many meta writing concerning August and what motivated him to do what he did (shoutout to Mark Pakin for unknowingly being the root cause of all my angst against August 😅). Those who tried to understand August are a lot better persons than I am. My petty ass would still like August's head on a platter 😅😅😅😅

2. Okay, the starting scene feels like Bad Buddy Episode 6 all over again - the awkward tension after a rooftop kiss 😭😭😭 P'Aof, why do you do this?

3. That's it, if we are not getting GeePorjai in this series, I am more than willing to marry Porjai myself 😂😂😂

4. No, Gee. Day does not have to patch things up with that d*ckhead August. <after 2 minutes> I am still amazed of how selfless Mhok can be that he is still willing to let Day meet August despite of everything because it will make Day happy. I guess as Porjai said, when Mhok loves, he loves deeply and passionately - and it shows 🥺🥺🥺

5. Hmmm, I guess they are trying to somehow redeem August? Ngl, the speech was good. But I'm still putting that "pity kiss" on my list of unforgiveable things along with Non's stalker behaviour (Dark Blue Kiss) and Wai's curtain drop (Bad Buddy).

6. Gee knows Day so well 😂😂😂 Also, wtf did you mean Mhok is not your type, Day??? What exactly is your type anyway? After August, one might have thought you would re-calibrate your standards. <after 5 seconds> Oh, no. 😰 That's just selfish, Day. It will be torturous for Mhok to stay and care for you, knowing how he feels about you. It's like leading him on. You should have followed Gee's suggestion, if this is the case 😔

7. Mhok is taking what he can get, I see. I just hope this does not end in heartbreak - mine. I am so tired of crying with every episode 😂😂😂

8. Porjai is just trying as Mhok's wingwoman 😂😂😂 Good thing she does not have to try that hard since it seems like Day is slowly accepting his feelings for Mhok.

9. Day sniffing Mhok's blanket - how Pat-coded you are 😂😂😂 Yes, I still have a Bad Buddy brain rot. 😅😅😅 Also, dang, Mhok's neighbours. Let other people sleep 😆

10. (Sigh) I guess what we'll get is a NightPorjai agenda (goodbye, my GeePorja ship)? Night really seems to care about Day despite the latter's animosity against him.

11. Oh, Day. 😔 You should never have put boundaries on something that you wanted to cross yourself. <after five seconds> OKAY!!! Finally boyfriends!!!! For a second, I thought I'll be hating Day in the next episodes.

12. Mhok is just gonna get cheesier, isn't he? He is going to be insufferable, won't he? Ngl, I'm a bit scared for Day 😂😂😂😂

OH, NO. DAY IS GOING FULL BLIND 😱😱😱

I guess the next episodes will focus on what happened between Night and Day. Ongoing theory in socmed is that Night is the reason for Day's condition. I'm not convinced because P'Aof has that reputation of subverting the 'obvious' in what motivates his characters' actions - i.e., Mes' uncle's financial woes led him to watch Mes die from a heart attack in He's Coming to Me, Tian's illegal race bet causing Torfun's death in ATOTS, and Ming betraying his bff, Dissaya, by stealing her scholarship grant as the root cause of the family rivalry in BBS.

I really am curious to see what P'Aof has cooked up this time. Plus, it's a beach episode next week 😊

[shadesofdigital]

Unlock Your Glow: The Melanin-Rich Skin Secret Everyone’s Raving About (Black-Owned & Bomb!) 🌟

Let’s keep it real: melanin-rich skin is chef’s kiss gorgeous, but it comes with its own set of challenges. Dry patches? Hyperpigmentation? Texture woes? If your skincare routine isn’t giving you the radiant, even-toned glow you deserve, it’s time to meet your new holy grail—the Buttah Skin Supreme Kit. Crafted by a Black-owned brand that gets it, this 4-step regimen is blowing up TikTok and IG feeds for all the right reasons. Spoiler: Your skin’s about to thank you.

Why Melanin-Rich Skin Deserves More (And Why This Kit Delivers) 🌺 Our skin’s unique needs—like combating ashiness, balancing oil production, and fading dark spots—require powerhouse ingredients. Enter Buttah Skin, a brand founded by Dorion Renaud, designed to celebrate and nourish deeper complexions. No more settling for products that leave you high, dry, or breaking out. This kit? It’s a love letter to your glow.

What’s Inside the Buttah Skin Supreme Kit? 🧴🔥

✨ CocoShea Cleanser 3.4 oz

The Fix: Gently melts away dirt without stripping natural oils.

Hero Ingredients: Coconut oil, shea butter, and aloe vera.

Vibe: Feels like a spa day in a bottle.

🌹 Rosewater Toner 3.4 oz

The Fix: Balances pH, preps skin for serums, and soothes irritation.

Hero Ingredients: Rosewater, witch hazel, and chamomile.

Vibe: Instant refreshment—like a splash of morning dew.

🍊 Vitamin C Serum 1 oz

The Fix: Fades dark spots, boosts collagen, and brightens like nobody’s business.

Hero Ingredients: 20% Vitamin C, hyaluronic acid, and turmeric.

Vibe: That “I woke up like this” radiance.

🧴 CocoShea Revitalizing Cream 2 oz

The Fix: Locks in moisture for 24-hour hydration (yes, even in winter!).

Hero Ingredients: Shea butter, cocoa seed butter, and vitamin E.

Vibe: A cozy hug for your face.

Why This Kit Is a Game-Changer 🏆

No Guesswork: It’s a full routine—cleanse, tone, treat, moisturize. Done.

By Us, For Us: Proudly Black-owned, made with deep skin tones in mind.

Results You Can See: Users rave about softer skin, fewer breakouts, and a lit-from-within glow.

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Q: “Will this work for sensitive skin?” A: Absolutely! The formula is gentle yet effective. Patch-test first, though.

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***This post may contain affiliate links that may result in me receiving a small commission***

[brooklynchilddesigns]

Tales & Woes of the Broken Sims

Sul Sul Fellow Simmers!

😖😩😭If you play with mods, you may be going through what I'm going through. I haven't been able to enter the CAS screen for the past two weeks because several mods broke due to the latest update. Literally, all my sims are baldheaded and walking around in their underwear right now.

While several modders are quick to rectify things on their end with updates, many of my favorite mods that make simming easier are still broken.

I've been scouring the internet trying to find solutions to no avail. The best I can do at this point is offer some helpful information and tips on how to make this weird purgatory many of us are in, a little more manageable.

Download and install the following application and mod in order to help clean up your mods and identify any problematic mods.

Sims 4 Mod Manager - Install to the same drive your sims is installed. Upon first open, you'll be prompted to locate your sims folder located in your Documents folder. There you can update your mods, locate and delete duplicates, disable and re-enable all your mods with one click, and identify bad files and saves, etc.

Better Exceptions Mod by TwistedMexi - Unzip this into your Mods folder, and start the game, a BE menu from the welcome notification, will appear the first time you load a household each session. Click "Check for Conflicts" and allow the scan to complete. This can take several minutes depending on how many mods you have, and more importantly how many conflicts you have.

The report will open in your browser. Much of the report is hidden behind collapsed sections, so make sure to scroll toward the bottom of the report to see what specific mods/scripts/files, etc are causing issues.

If you have any of the following issues, most likely, theres nothing you can do now that will help until updates are provided or the mods are removed.

-Can't Enter the CAS screen. ( The only fix I know of that works for some people is to remove the broken CAS Column Extender mod you might have installed.)

-Tuning Errors from Better Exceptions. This is due to the broken XmlInjector_Script_v4. This mod is required to use some of the most popular mods, like the LittleMsSam's mods ( who by the way immediately jumped on the patch bandwagon and has been diligently updating all her mods). There is unfortunately no update for the XmlInjector at the moment.

-Any Trait errors shown by BE are due to the broken MC Command Center mod.

UI Cheats is broken and causing hell across the board. Unfortunately, this mod hasn't been updated since 2019, and we have no idea where the modder has been.

Here is a list of mod's that are currently being reported as broken and awaiting updates: Scarlets Realm's List

Again, you can use the Sims 4 Mod Manager to auto-update many of your mods, but for others, you may have to go searching for updates manually.

Just know that you're not alone in this, and you did nothing wrong to your game. It's just what happens when you play modded games. Hopefully, most of these mods will be updated and everything can go back to normal soon. Take care. 💖

[dollartreecompassonline]

Unwrapping Holiday Cheer on a Budget: 10 Dollar Tree Gift Ideas That Wow

The holidays are a time for joy, togetherness, and... oh no, the gift budget is shrinking faster than a gingerbread house in a rainstorm! Fear not, festive friends, for the Dollar Tree, that magical realm of $1 treasures, is here to sleigh your gifting woes. With aisles brimming with hidden gems and enough creativity to fuel a thousand Pinterest boards, you can score amazing gifts that'll warm hearts without emptying your wallet. So, grab your reusable tote bag (because sustainability!), channel your inner elf, and let's dive into 10 Dollar Tree delights that'll make this holiday season sparkle, even on a shoestring budget.

1. Pamper Me Pretty:

Everyone deserves a little self-care indulgence, and Dollar Tree's beauty section is a treasure trove of pampering picks. Grab a set of glittery bath bombs for a fizzy, fragrant escape, or curate a mini spa kit with silky sleep masks, cucumber eye patches, and aromatherapy shower steamers. Add a touch of luxury with scented hand lotions and bath salts, and don't forget the finishing touch: fuzzy socks and nail polish in festive hues. Wrap it all up in a cute basket or fabric pouch, and voila! A spa day waiting to happen, for under $10!

2. Game On!:

Unleash the inner game enthusiast with a DIY game night box. Fill a decorative box with Dollar Tree's bounty: classic card games like Uno and Phase 10, miniature versions of popular board games, dice for impromptu Yahtzee sessions, and even blank playing cards for endless creativity (think Mad Libs or charades!). Throw in some festive snacks and drinks, and you've got a recipe for laughter-filled evenings all winter long.

3. Movie Magic:

Cinematic escapism awaits on the Dollar Tree shelves! Grab a selection of family-friendly or genre-specific DVDs (horror for the thrill-seekers, rom-coms for the hopeless romantics!), cozy popcorn buckets, and packs of microwaveable movie snacks. Add a plush throw blanket and some twinkle lights for ambiance, and boom! Instant home theater experience, ready to transport your loved ones to faraway lands (or just the couch next door).

Dollar Tree DVDs, popcorn buckets, microwaveable movie snacks, plush throw blanket, and twinkle lights

4. Master Chef in the Making:

For the budding culinary connoisseur, a DIY baking kit is the perfect present. Fill a jar with dry ingredients for a simple cake or cookie mix, layer in sprinkles and icing, and tie it up with a cheerful ribbon. Add a cute spatula or cookie cutter for an extra touch, and attach a recipe card for baking fun. Bonus points for creating personalized labels with the recipient's name and your secret family recipe!

5. Green Thumbs Rejoice!:

Nurture those green thumbs with a DIY terrarium kit. Grab a small glass container, some decorative pebbles, and artificial succulents or air plants (no watering worries!). Add tiny figurines or fairy lights for an enchanting touch, and package it in a decorative box. This low-maintenance plant haven is perfect for office desks or apartment dwellers, and it's a gift that keeps on giving (at least until the air plant needs a spritz!).

Dollar Tree terrarium kit with glass container, decorative pebbles, artificial succulents, air plants, tiny figurines, fairy lights, and decorative box

6. Cozy Comfort Corner:

Snuggle up and read the winter blues away with a cozy reading kit. Fill a basket with plush throws, fuzzy socks, and a selection of books from Dollar Tree's surprisingly diverse literary offerings. Choose classics, contemporary fiction, or even cookbooks for the foodie in your life. Add a cute mug and a bag of hot cocoa mix, and you've got the perfect antidote to a chilly winter day.

7. Craftastic Creations:

Unleash the inner artist with a DIY craft kit. Dollar Tree's craft section is an explosion of colorful possibilities. Grab some blank canvases, paint, and brushes, or get creative with wood crafts, jewelry making kits, or even tie-dye supplies. Throw in some decorative stickers, glitter, and pom-poms for extra pizazz, and let the imaginations run wild! This gift is perfect for kids, adults, and anyone who loves to get their hands messy (in the best way possible!).

8. Teacher's Toolbox of Treasures:

Show your appreciation for the educators in your life with a personalized "Teacher's Toolbox of Treasures." Fill a decorative container with helpful little trinkets and essentials to make their day-to-day lives a little brighter. Think coffee mug warmers, colorful sticky notes, fun pens and markers, even mini staplers. Add a pack of thank-you cards for students to express their gratitude, and throw in a cute stress ball or mini succulent for moments of zen amidst the lesson planning. This thoughtful and practical gift says "thank you" in a hundred different ways.

9. Get Crafty with Cards:

Don't underestimate the power of a handmade card! Dollar Tree's greeting card aisle is a treasure trove of blank cards, colorful tissue paper, stickers, and embellishments. Let the creativity flow: create unique pop-up designs, use glitter and glue to add sparkle, or write heartfelt messages inside. A personalized card shows you put thought and effort into the gift, and it's a keepsake that can be cherished long after the holidays are over.

10. Stocking Stuffers Galore:

No holiday season is complete without the joy of overflowing stockings! Dollar Tree Compass is a stocking stuffer paradise, with options for everyone. Grab festive candy canes and chocolates, tiny trinkets and toys, fun socks and hair accessories. For the tech-savvy, consider mini phone chargers or earbuds. For the bookworms, bookmarks and small notebooks are perfect. Don't forget the practical picks: hand warmers, lip balm, even mini first-aid kits. Mix and match with creativity, and let the stockings overflow with holiday cheer, all for a fraction of the cost.

Remember, the true magic of Dollar Tree gifts lies in the thoughtfulness and personalization. Take the time to choose items that your loved ones will truly appreciate, and don't be afraid to get creative. Add a handwritten note, wrap it in festive paper (Dollar Tree has that too!), and watch your budget-friendly gifts spark joy and laughter this holiday season. So, spread the cheer, embrace the magic of the $1, and let Dollar Tree help you weave unforgettable holiday memories, one treasure at a time.

Bonus Tip: Get the whole family involved! Make Dollar Tree shopping a treasure hunt, have kids pick out gifts for their friends and teachers, and let everyone's creativity run wild. Who knows, you might just discover some hidden talents and create holiday memories that will last a lifetime.

Happy gifting, and happy holidays!

[oyecommerz]

Tired of Frequent Plugin Issues on WooCommerce? Switch to Shopify for Hassle-Free Management!

Managing an online store should be about growing your business, not troubleshooting endless plugin issues. Yet, many WooCommerce users find themselves spending more time fixing technical glitches than focusing on sales and customer satisfaction. If you’re frustrated by constant plugin conflicts, security vulnerabilities, and frequent updates that break your site, it’s time to consider a better alternative, Shopify.

Understanding the WooCommerce Plugin Struggle

WooCommerce, being an open-source platform, provides flexibility and customization options that are hard to match. However, this freedom comes with a price. To add advanced functionality such as payment gateways, shipping options, or SEO optimization, you need multiple plugins. Over time, managing these plugins becomes a nightmare.

Here’s why:

Plugin Conflicts: Each plugin is developed by different third-party developers, leading to compatibility issues. A minor update can cause critical functionality to break, leaving your store in chaos.

Frequent Updates and Maintenance: WooCommerce plugins require regular updates, which may conflict with your WordPress theme or other plugins. This means constant monitoring and testing after each update.

Security Vulnerabilities: Outdated or poorly maintained plugins can expose your store to security threats. A small loophole can lead to data breaches, putting your business and customer information at risk.

Performance Bottlenecks: Too many plugins can slow down your website, leading to higher bounce rates and reduced conversions. Slow load times frustrate customers and impact SEO rankings.

High Maintenance Costs: While WooCommerce itself is free, maintaining multiple premium plugins, themes, and security solutions adds up, making it a costly affair in the long run.

Why Shopify Provides a Hassle-Free Alternative

Shopify eliminates the need for multiple plugins by offering a built-in, all-in-one solution that takes care of your eCommerce needs. Whether it’s payment processing, SEO, inventory management, or security, Shopify has it covered without the need for constant maintenance.

Here’s why switching to Shopify makes sense:

1. Seamless Functionality Without Plugins

With Shopify, essential features like payment gateways, inventory tracking, and SEO tools are natively built into the platform. You no longer have to rely on third-party plugins that may or may not work together. This ensures smooth functionality without worrying about conflicts.

2. Automatic Updates and Security

Shopify takes care of all system updates and security patches automatically. This means you don’t have to spend hours manually updating plugins or worrying about potential security threats. Your store remains secure, compliant, and up-to-date without any intervention.

3. Faster Page Load Times and Better Performance

Unlike WooCommerce, where performance can be affected by the number of installed plugins, Shopify optimizes site speed out of the box. Faster load times translate to improved customer experience and higher conversion rates.

4. Scalability Without Hassle

As your business grows, you’ll need a platform that scales with you. Shopify provides seamless scalability, ensuring that high traffic, large product catalogs, and expanding operations don’t slow down your store. No more worrying about upgrading servers or handling traffic spikes.

5. Reduced Technical Complexity

Shopify’s user-friendly interface eliminates the need for extensive technical knowledge. You don’t have to be a developer to manage and grow your store. With a drag-and-drop builder, built-in analytics, and easy customization, Shopify empowers you to focus on what truly matters—your business.

How Migrating to Shopify Solves Your WooCommerce Woes

Migrating your store from WooCommerce to Shopify is a game-changer. It not only reduces the technical burden but also enhances overall store performance and security. Here’s how:

Simplified Store Management: You no longer have to juggle between multiple plugins to keep your store running smoothly. Shopify’s centralized dashboard allows you to manage everything from one place.

Better Customer Experience: Faster load times, a secure checkout process, and a seamless shopping journey mean happier customers and more conversions.

Peace of Mind with Security and Compliance: Shopify handles PCI compliance and security, giving you peace of mind and allowing you to focus on business growth.

Key Considerations Before Migrating

While migrating to Shopify is a smart decision, it’s essential to plan the transition carefully. Here’s what you should keep in mind:

Data Migration: Ensure that all product information, customer data, and order history are transferred securely without data loss.

Design and Customization: Replicate or improve your current store design to maintain brand consistency.

SEO Preservation: Implement proper 301 redirects and meta settings to avoid losing search engine rankings.

Why Now is the Best Time to Migrate

With increasing competition in the eCommerce space, a secure, fast, and user-friendly platform like Shopify gives you an edge. Delaying migration means exposing your business to unnecessary risks and inefficiencies. The sooner you switch, the sooner you’ll enjoy the benefits of a hassle-free, high-performing online store.

Ready to Ditch Plugin Problems and Upgrade to Shopify?

Don’t let WooCommerce plugin issues hold your business back. Migrate to Shopify with Oyecommerz and experience smoother management, better performance, and enhanced security. Contact us today to start your hassle-free migration journey!

[grassrootsdouglasvillearea]

From Brown to Beautiful: Villa Rica’s Lawn Care Experts Bring Yards to Life

Why Many Villa Rica Lawns Struggle with Brown Spots and Thinning Grass

Villa Rica’s unique climate and soil present challenges that generic store-bought solutions just can’t fix. Common issues include:

Clay Soil Woes: Georgia’s dense clay suffocates grass roots, leading to poor drainage and nutrient absorption.

Weed Takeovers: Pesky invaders like crabgrass, chickweed, and dollarweed thrive here, stealing resources from your grass.

Summer Stress: High humidity and scorching temps leave lawns parched and prone to fungal diseases.

That’s where professional lawn care services from GrassRoots Turf come in. We don’t just treat symptoms—we solve the root problems.

Step 1: Diagnosing the Problem

Every great lawn starts with understanding its unique needs. Here’s how we pinpoint issues:

Soil Testing & Analysis: We test your soil’s pH and nutrient levels to uncover deficiencies (common in Villa Rica’s clay!).

Drainage Checks: Standing water? We identify compaction or grading issues that drown grass roots.

Weed & Pest Audits: From stubborn nutsedge to fire ants, we map out threats hiding in your yard.

Think of this as a “lawn physical” from your local lawn care experts—no guesswork, just science!

Step 2: Rejuvenating Your Lawn

Once we know what’s wrong, we roll up our sleeves and get to work:

Aeration & Overseeding

Aeration: Our core aerators punch holes in compacted soil, letting water and nutrients reach deep into roots.

Overseeding: We fill bare patches with premium grass seed tailored to Villa Rica’s climate, ensuring thick, even growth.

Custom Fertilization Programs

Our lawn care program includes slow-release fertilizers that feed grass steadily, avoiding the “boom-and-bust” of cheap products.

Weed Control Treatments

Our lawn care weed control targets invaders at every stage—pre-emergent herbicides stop weeds before they sprout, while spot treatments wipe out existing growth.

Step 3: Maintaining the Beauty

A gorgeous lawn isn’t a one-time fix—it’s a year-round partnership. Here’s how we keep your yard thriving:

Seasonal Care Plans

Spring/Summer: Fungus prevention, grub control, and deep-root hydration to combat Georgia heat.

Fall/Winter: Soil amendments and “winterizer” treatments to strengthen roots before frost.

Pro Tips for Homeowners

Watering: Aim for 1-1.5 inches weekly, preferably in the morning to reduce evaporation.

Mowing: Keep grass at 3-4 inches to shade soil and prevent weeds.

With GrassRoots Turf’s full-service lawn care, you’ll spend less time stressing and more time enjoying your yard!

Success Stories from Villa Rica Homeowners

Don’t just take our word for it—see what your neighbors are saying:

Check out our before-and-after gallery to see Villa Rica lawns we’ve transformed from brown to beautiful!

Ready to Go From Brown to Beautiful? Contact Villa Rica’s Experts Today!

Why keep wrestling with stubborn weeds, patchy grass, and Georgia’s tough soil? GrassRoots Turf offers:

Local Expertise: We’re not just a lawn care company—we’re your neighbors, with years of experience serving Villa Rica.

Guaranteed Results: Our lawn maintenance service plans are backed by science and a 100% satisfaction promise.

Stress-Free Care: From scheduling to seasonal reminders, we handle it all.

Let’s turn your yard into a lush retreat you’ll love year-round. Call GrassRoots Turf at 833-66-GRASS or visit us online. Your dream lawn is just a click away!

GrassRoots Turf & Lawn Care Villa Rica

2875 Bobo Rd Suite B, Dallas, GA 30132

833-66-GRASS

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Winter Skincare Routine Tips to Keep Your Skin Hydrated

Winter brings cozy sweaters, hot cocoa, and holiday cheer—but it also ushers in dry air, low humidity, and icy winds that wreak havoc on your skin. Sound familiar? Whether you’re battling flaky patches or feeling tight, itchy discomfort, a proper winter skincare routine is key to keeping your skin hydrated, radiant, and healthy.

1. Understand How Winter Affects Your Skin

Before we jump into remedies, it’s crucial to know why winter takes such a toll on your skin. During colder months:

The air is drier, leading to faster moisturizer loss.

Central heating systems strip even more humidity from the environment.

Cold winds damage your skin’s natural barrier, leading to irritation and sensitivity.

Understanding these factors helps you adapt your skincare routine to combat the seasonal challenges.

2. Switch to a Gentle Cleanser

Harsh cleansers can strip away your skin’s natural oils, which are already in short supply during winter.

Tip: Opt for a cream-based or hydrating cleanser with ingredients like glycerin or hyaluronic acid.

Avoid: Products with alcohol, sulfates, or strong fragrances.

Cleansing is the foundation of any skincare routine, so make this switch early in the season.

3. Moisturize Immediately After Cleansing

Timing matters when it comes to moisturizing. Apply your moisturizer within 60 seconds of washing your face or showering.

Why? Your skin is more absorbent when damp, allowing products to lock in hydration effectively.

Choose moisturizers rich in ceramides, shea butter, and natural oils like jojoba or almond oil.

Pro tip: Don’t forget to extend your moisturizer to your neck and hands—they’re just as prone to dryness!

4. Use a Humidifier Indoors

One of the simplest yet most effective winter skincare hacks is adding a humidifier to your home or workspace.

Central heating dries out indoor air, and a humidifier replenishes the moisture levels.

Place it in your bedroom to hydrate your skin while you sleep.

Look for a model with adjustable humidity settings to maintain a comfortable 30-50% indoor humidity level.

5. Add a Hydrating Serum to Your Routine

Layering is not just for clothing in winter—it’s also a game-changer for skincare. After cleansing and before moisturizing, apply a hydrating serum.

Look for ingredients like hyaluronic acid, which holds up to 1,000 times its weight in water, and vitamin B5 to boost hydration.

Serums penetrate deeper layers of your skin, providing intense hydration where it’s needed most.

6. Avoid Over-Exfoliating Your Skin

Exfoliation helps remove dead skin cells, but overdoing it during winter can damage your skin’s protective barrier and worsen dryness.

Limit exfoliation to 1-2 times per week using a gentle exfoliant.

Switch to products with lactic acid or enzymes, which are milder than gritty scrubs.

Follow up with a rich moisturizer to replenish the hydration lost during exfoliation.

Remember, the goal is to maintain balance—not to strip your skin!

7. Choose an Oil-Based Moisturizer for Extra Hydration

While lightweight lotions may suffice in summer, winter calls for heavier, oil-based moisturizers to combat dryness.

Ingredients to look for: Squalane, argan oil, or rosehip oil, which help seal in moisture and strengthen your skin barrier.

Layer this moisturizer over your serum for optimal hydration.

Don’t shy away from facial oils either—they’re perfect for locking in moisture, especially at night.

8. Don’t Skip Sunscreen

It’s easy to forget sunscreen in winter, but harmful UV rays can still damage your skin—even on cloudy days or through windows.

Use a broad-spectrum sunscreen with SPF 30 or higher daily.

Opt for sunscreens with hydrating ingredients like niacinamide or hyaluronic acid.

Sun damage is cumulative, so year-round protection is non-negotiable for healthy, youthful skin.

9. Protect Your Lips

Chapped lips are a common winter woe, but they’re easy to prevent with proper care.

Use a hydrating lip balm with beeswax, shea butter, or petroleum jelly to lock in moisture.

Avoid licking your lips—it dries them out further.

For added protection, look for lip balms with SPF, as lips are prone to sun damage even in winter.

Reapply lip balm frequently throughout the day, especially before heading outdoors.

10. Invest in Overnight Masks

Give your skin an intensive hydration boost with an overnight mask.

These products are packed with nourishing ingredients that work while you sleep to repair and hydrate your skin.

Look for masks with aloe vera, ceramides, or peptides to soothe dryness and enhance skin elasticity.

Make this a part of your nighttime routine once or twice a week for visibly plumper, more hydrated skin.