#peek inside

[dingoat]

I gotta know about Crow and Ahuska's separate Netflix watch history!

Ahahahaha how excellent!

So Ahuska definitely goes all over the place with what she winds up watching. Things you might find include:

A stunning, sweeping documentary following a drexl migration

A nostalgic animated film, based on an 'Old Alderaan' fairytale

A schlocky horror about giant mutant man-eating womp rats

A beautiful, bittersweet musical, a slick spy thriller and a fun little rom-com sharing the single common thread of a lead actor she's found particularly pleasing on the eyes

A family film about an old akk dog , a rambunctious massiff and a sassy felinx finding their way home that makes her cry every damn time

Crow meanwhile, might have something along the lines of:

A number of post-apocalyptic epics (of varying degrees of quality) that imagine all manner of planets somehow cut off from the rest of the galaxy and coping with isolation and natural disasters (like the one where almost all of Alderaan is flooded over, or the one where a lone brave Corellian has to re-establish comm-lines literally roaming from place to place on foot)

A whacky but kind of charming action film produced by a company on a planet that's only ever heard about Jedi third-hand and developed some really weird ideas about what their heroic protagonist can actually do

All three seasons of a crass but undeniably funny adult series starring a collection of hand puppets of stray and urban animals living in the Coruscant undercity

His favourite game show

Ahahaha thank you this was FUN, I love this list of prompts and I am SUPER DOWN FOR MORE if anyone is of the inclination to ask >.>

[thementalshawty]

My New Beginning (My way out)

(Mentions of disabilities, mental, emotional, physical abuse, S*x abuse, bullying, self harm, suicidal ideation, Domestic violence, be wary before reading).

So where to begin……. This is about familial abuse, so this has been something happening my whole life!!! My “mother” is a narcissist. She bullied me and my sister our whole lives, I am the third of 5 kids, she would pit us against each other and watch us fight to laugh and make fun, most of my insecurities stem from her clowning me in front of my brothers, funny enough she is NEVER ALONE, my father he abused us including her but he left and I thought we were better off for it, I wasn’t wrong but little did I know the monsters she’d allow into our lives after, I was getting molested by older brother and my mothers boyfriend before I even got to elementary school, my brother started when I was insanely young, and I still protected him as I didn’t know what tf was happening, her boyfriend started when I was in 4th grade, he wasn’t a drunk or anything just a pedophile, she knew he was because he got caught cheating on her with teenage girls and yet she still kept him around for a decade so wherever we moved he was there and I started to become angry, rage grew inside my soul like a fire that had no intention of burning out, on top of that he was abusive hitting and bruising me and my siblings who all have disabilities, you know my sister as she’s a tarot reader on here so I’m not going into specifics about them, but she would sit and watch and do nothing, she would hide food with him, have us stand in the corner for hours on end while they are food in front of our faces “mmmm that’s good”. She even forced to drink her breast milk in front of him, she despised us having friends, soo when I would have a friend she wouldn’t let me see them or go out or we would move, I’ve never stayed more than 2-3 years in any place my whole entire fuccin life! I don’t know anything but toxicity when it came to relationships, I tried to kill myself multiple times but they failed so I decided to be a burner, I just burned myself, the fire it was the rage inside me felt outside, I decided to tell my mother about the molester from her boyfriend when I was 15, because I told someone in school he told me I had to tell her or he would so I wrote her a letter, he had a gun in the house and put it to his head and said he was going to kill himself (gaslighting), she kicked him out for a day, brought him back then told me that I had to share her with him, so at 15 and with her knowledge of him molesting me, we all moved to California, we drove there, and that was awful, we all fought and he screams how he didn’t care about what he did to me and he was laughing in front of her, i ended up just sweeping that under the rug because i went to focus on my career I had acting classes so my mind was focused but I met a guy from school and he automatically hated him (the boyfriend) he told my mother and automatically I was told to stay away from him, I didn’t I had got arrested the year before so I had community service and he was helping me with that, I told him what happened I thought we were meant to be but he cheated on me with his sister and I found myself in her another Jerry springer bind but I found that out months after we broke up, but he stood up for me and he was the only one on the outside that actually came and defended my honor as sick as he is I will give him credit for that. A year later we’re moving bacc to NYC, before we did though, they got Into a fight (my mother and the boyfriend), pretending to break up, he went to the gas station filled a gas canister wit gas came back to the front door and poured gasoline on himself, obviously not lighting himself on fire because it was an act, he went to jail a week or two later she invited him back into her life, I already knew that it was going to happen because the shit was predictable at that point, Skipping ahead to 17, we moved back to NYC, we came separately, I came on a plane with my mother and the rest of my siblings drove back with him, because obviously she trusted him with children why wouldn’t she? She already knew what he was capable of, she didn’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️, when we got back to NyC she

Promises me that he’s not coming back into our lives that it’s over this time, I told her he’s going to gaslight her she says not gonna work, fast forward to when they all made it to the apartment, she approached me with the sob story I said he would come in with so she said she is letting him stay, I was going to just walk away, but my sister told me that she fought with him on the drive here, she stood up for me, he yelled at my older brothers and her that he did What he did to me cos he truly wanted to and he’s unapologetic for it, the flame it was uncontrollable and I blacked out I went into the room and I kicked him out myself. He yelled bullshit but he left, she hated me for that, so she started to sneak him in secretly then they started hiding food again, leaving us to literally shake, starve and feel sick, we learned how to improvise with what little we had. I was going to school so I didn’t care, speaking of school I was supposed to be on my last year of school, and I couldn’t graduate because my principal explained because I moved so much my credits were all over the place, so she told me I had to repeat a year that was devasting to me because in California I only had a few credits before I could graduate, I got two jobs because I just wanted to save up money to leave, she told my grandma lies oh she has a whole bunch of recruits that she tells constant lies too about us and what we do never the truth because they already feel she’s sick but they do nothing about it, family tho right? My grandma called me and so again we told her the truth and she helped us kick him out for good, (so that’s the end of boyfriend 1…. For now) I was finally 18!! So again I have no friendships nothing ever stuck, but I had two jobs and I was saving up for an apartment, I shouldn’t have done this but I was so proud of myself! I told her (my mother) that I was going to move out, get my own apartment and live on my own, she didn’t like that, she was saying that it was disloyal and what was she going to do without me and she needed help because most of my siblings have a disability, so I stayed, I couldn’t be disloyal when she needed me, that was a big mistake. A year later we are moving BACC to California because she has found A NEW BOYFRIEND, some guy she met over the phone, guess who helped her move back to California though (boyfriend #1), my brother who molested me left to go into the army, don’t worry he’s not in it any longer dishonorable discharge (it was fitting). So anyways the new boyfriend was some white guy who I felt meant no harm the fuccin dude was quiet and softspoken so I paid it no mind, but I was wrong, he was a drunk, not only was a he a drunk, he was a RACIST DRUNK! Did she care???? NOOOOOOO! Everytime I tried to leave she stopped me, til we fought then she would say to leave knowing I had nowhere to go, if I had a friend to go too she would hate that friend, funny thing is most friends that want to take me away from this be friends she introduced me too, she wanted to be friends with them but they wanted to be my friend yes they are younger people, I don’t have those friends anymore because they were very similar to her go figure right ? I thought I should call the cops, call for help, but everyone I reached out too did nothing INCLUDING COPS! So I felt backed into a corner, well I had my sister my little sister my rock, funny fun fact though, her new boyfriend ALSO LIKES LITTLE GIRLS oh and BOYS! He got arrested and she stood up for him, while he was doing that in her home, she would run away and leave us all my siblings in the house with him drunk calling us the N word, kicking doors down and causing mess, I couldn’t leave my siblings who couldn’t understand what was happening behind all I knew is that they were scared and their mother wasn’t there all she did was make excuses for him she told me I should kill myself, that I was a cunt that didn’t deserve her name, ( I don’t have it, I have my dads last name), that I was going to be nothing more than a whore, by this time………………

She knows about what my brother did to me I didn’t mention that confession because she just skipped right over it. She literally didn’t care and she told me to my face she believed he was only playing with me and I am confusing it all and that I know nothing about it because it happened to her and she the only one who knows pain and my pain doesn’t matter she tried to assault me and again tried to tell family but she already took the narrative so they weren’t trying to hear me out or help, in august of this year, me and my sister left, we went to stay in a motel for a week or two, with the help of my booking agent we didn’t have enough money to stay and the homeless shelters were all full and we’re not answering back, so we had no choice but to go back, we are back and nothing even a week later back to the drunk racist, not eating, starving routine, I wanted to die and I felt like a failure! I couldn’t even get out of bed I felt like I deserved this I got my sister out to end up right back 2 WEEKS LATER?!?!! I fuccin hated myself! He was drunk and again causing ruckus, she came back a morning later and was telling him to leave, he was going to hit her, my brother (diagnosed with MR) was out there with my younger brother (autism) and they were scared and standing up for her and the boyfriend was in their faces what was I supposed to do???? Me and my sister tried to help and she tried to tell us to leave for helping her!!!!! Me and my sister decided to just call the police, they started to fight, and he tried to kill her, the police got him out, and they told her that she was lucky to have her kids here, we cleaned up her room after he broke her whole house apart, I mean EVERYTHING IS TORN APART RN!!!! she decided that she was going to move down to Texas with the molesting brother because he has kids, (oh yeah other fun fact she kept forcing me to have kids she even wanted me to give her my eggs so she can have kids with both of those boyfriends she approached me TWICE ABOUT IT, one she wanted my eggs and the other she wanted me to be pregnant for her!) So now my brother has kids she was like saying she knows I’ll never have kids and I’ll be forever alone, that no one will ever love me, anyways skipping to now my birthday came and left I’m 27 now! The housing program that me and my sister signed up for began to pend and we found a place! We didn’t tell her we found a place and that we were in a program we didn’t even tell her that we went down the city. We ended up getting a random woman come into the house and serve us she was evicting us (my mother) even on the eviction notice it says no fault just cause, she didn’t even tell me, so we have 60 days to leave and vacate her premises! Funny enough yesterday my sister got her APPROVAL NOTICE!!! Mine is still pending but I know that I’m getting approved and if all goes well we will be in our transitional home on SATURDAY! We finally did it, dug our way out, I didn’t think that I could and that I would, I would’ve been opened up to someone if I didn’t believe that it was against the family or that no one would love me like she did, she painted the world as such a unloving place and that this toxicity was normal and for the longest I believed it, but I am waking up now! And I am looking forward to beginning my life AWAY FROM HER! Just me and my rock @silvershiningtarot I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY STORY, I’m only ashamed I kept quiet for so long, I allowed them to get away with everything and they took control of the narrative but I’m taking my power back! This is the first chapter of my success story! I’m not looking for claps or sympathy or for yky to actually care or anything I just wanted to put my story out there because this shit shouldn’t be in the dark anymore, mothers can be demons, family can be a dark and scary word for people and they’re not family, only relation! And I wanted to make that clear! RELATION DOESN’T MEAN FAMILY

I feel more familial love from you guys on here than I ever did anywhere! My music gave me hope and tarot gave me community

You deserve to know your reader through and through!

Thank you!!! For listening and taking the time for hearing this sad ass story, I hope I didn’t drag your day down! 💋

[papersquirrels]

Bday card, with a peek inside and also at the back. This is how customers are able to see what's inside the card without opening the package.

[hiddenhideout]

Daydream

Awake, but dreaming? My mind's just wandering..

So am I still asleep?

Listen close..

Can you hear that rattling? I know the sound well. Those awfully heavy chains.

Can you see the scars they've left to stay?

Awake & Dreaming.

My mind stayed scheming. If you've ever felt this feeling, then you already know why.

But I just want to sleep.

Yet here I lay, I am wide awake. So I bowed my head and finally prayed. Shrouded in dark, I begin to search. And there, I feel the key.

Don't go,

My ghosts whisper.

We brought you back to stay.

I can't, I say. I've finally got the key. I beg the lord to open my eyes.. im begging, please.

They've been open all along. I'm awake... just stuck in a dark day dream.

SL

[mentalmeles]

Was listening to Star Spangled Man With a Plan (as one does) and it got me thinking about Steve during his USO tours--mainly Steve and his relationship with the USO girls.

At first, the USO girls are all business and are only polite to Steve when they have to be. They're not cold to him, but they're not particularly friendly or warm either. They just stay in their lane and he stays in his. Maybe, after a bit of time, one or two of em decide to test their luck and flirt with Steve, but he declines their advances every time. (I know that the MCU says it's canon that Steve lost his virginity to one of em or something like that, but I'm actively choosing to ignore that he had sex with any of em at all lmao)

But then, after doing a handful of tours, one of the USO girls decides 'fuck it' and decides to throw Steve a bone;

"Can you help me zip up my outfit?" She asks.

Steve flounders a bit at first, but she assures him that she doesn't mean anything by it. She only wants his help. She's letting him help. So, he does. Suddenly, from that moment on, the majority of the USO girls begin to ask Steve for help too--whether it be for their outfits, their hair, or their makeup. Maybe it's because they've realized he's not going to try anything. Maybe they've realized just how lonely he really is. So, over time, they begin to let him in on their card games, their smoke breaks (even though Steve himself doesn't smoke, since it doesn't do anything for him now, anyway), and talks about home. They even teach him some dances and acrobatics. Eventually, Steve gets comfortable enough to tell them about Bucky. He tries not to say too much, lest he give away the true depth of their relationship. He's not the best at lying, so he speaks in half truths. He's always very careful. He has to be, after all.

But then, maybe, one of em figures it out anyway.

"You're sweet on him, aren't you? Your friend?" She asks. It's the girl who first asked for his help. The one who first let him in.

And Steve is so fucking scared all of a sudden. He doesn't know how she figured it out. He thought he'd been hiding it well. He had been so careful. So careful. Fuck, what will he do if she tells people? If she tells people what he is, it's all over. They'll send him home and he'll lose his one actual chance of potentially getting out on the field and helping Bucky. And Bucky... If word somehow gets to the army... What will they do to Bucky?

But then, suddenly, she drops another bombshell;

"I have a girl back home," she says quietly. "I had a feeling you were in the same boat as me, what with the way your eyes look every time you talk about him. Her eyes do the same thing when she talks about me. Everyone back home thinks she's just my best friend. But she's worth a helluva lot more than that."

Steve can only stare at her. For a moment he wonders if she's lying, but everything about her--all the way down to her voice, her expression, and posture--tells him that she's being honest. He gives a broken laugh, suddenly feeling very, very small.

"Yeah. Yeah, he is too. Worth a helluva lot more to me than just a friend, I mean..."

She nods. "Does anyone else know?"

"I think one of his sisters might. But, other than that, it's just you." He pauses. "What's her name?"

"Hilda. I call her Hildie."

"That's right. You've mentioned her a couple times... She sounds wonderful."

"She is." She pauses for a moment before speaking again. "You know, you can talk to me about him. Whenever you want or need. People like us...we gotta stick together, ya know?"

Suddenly, Steve doesn't feel like he's talking to a friendly coworker. He feels like he's talking to a friend.

So, he gives her one of his increasingly rare smiles, real and warm. "I think I'd like that," he says. "Thank you."

[joejhang]

kevin and andrew are genuinely such fascinating characters to me because we have literally never gotten anything from their pov's yet they remain two of the most relevant, involved, important and main characters in this universe, but all we've really seen of them are them from other people's perspectives. like yes, we have them from the perspectives of the people who love and know them the best (jean, jeremy and wymack for kevin, aaron, bee, renee and neil for andrew) but we still don't/can't know them fully because we have genuinely never read anything from their perspective. isn't that just insane.

[alchemistc]

Actually you know what I don't think I've really seen anyone talk about how TYPICAL of Buck it is to revert to sex as a coping mechanism. Like yeah he's absolutely grown and changed from Buck 1.0 but let's look at his last year or so from his perspective:

Buck discovers new facets of his sexuality. He starts dating a dude who turned him into a feral little jealousy gremlin

Bobby leaves the 118 and leaves them with fuck ass Gerrard. Bobby almost dies.

Buck has a BOYFRIEND and he sees a future with him

Buck finds out something about his boyfriend that he can't square with, and gets frankly awful advice about what his boyfriend went through to make him Like That. He also continues to be not taken seriously about himself, his feelings, his wants and desires, his concerns

Buck gets dumped. He pushed too hard too fast as he tends to do and he gets dumped for it. Rinse and repeat

All of his friends immediately jump down his throat for wanting to talk to the dude who dumped him. He bakes. And bakes. And bakes and bakes and bakes and it doesn't stop him from missing the guy who dumped him

His best friend leaves. And while Buck can understand it it hurts enough to make him act a little out of pocket.

(Can we talk about the way everyone in his life infantalizing him absolutely makes him behave in childish ways in response? No? Okay I'll shut up.)

His sister gets kidnapped? And almost dies?

He moves out of a place he's lived in for five years to help his best friend. He cannot sleep in the new place.

He tries to make new friends but the thing is he already has a best friend and right now all he has available to him are stories about his best friend. So he tells them. To exhaustion.

So yeah. He's disconnected from a lot of his support systems because they just have other shit going on. (I do not blame them for not making him their number one priority and Buck doesn't either but they're still ...missing.)

He runs into his ex. His ex gives him a SCRAP and what does Buck do? He turns it immediately to sex. And he thinks to himself: this is what I'm good for this is what I can offer THIS will have to be enough even though this man has validated me: the way my brain works, the tangents I go on, the over-reactions I have and the way I get obsessive. But Tommy dumped him. So. Sex will have to be enough for Buck.

Like I just think we're undervaluing exactly how much this regression to fuckboy Buck makes sense. He's not doing it to be an asshole. It's a fucking survival instinct and he's been in survival mode since the second Tommy dumped him

[polarpasteque]

Me : Mentions of pregnancy make me so uncomfy. Surely I will be safe in a franchise about alien robots.

The imaginative James Roberts :

[bizarrelittlemew]

sunshine 🥹

[dingoat]

Ahuska! 29: most recent received texts

aaaaaa gonna do this for both versions of Ahuska 'cause they're in SUCH DIFFERENT PLACES aahaha also I get to use this super old drawing again!

OG-huska probably gets texted by Nela more than anyone, but let's pretend this is a day when some of the others actually get some words in.

1- "Was out with the gang and we found some GIANT SNAILS next time we go I'll take pics" (from Nela)

2- "<puppy emoji> i hear ur headed 2 NS <fireworks emoji> gonna send u list for <six wine bottle emojis> 2 bring next time ur planetside tyyyy <fire emoji> <dragon emoji> <finger guns emoji>" (from Nines)

3- "btw is it ok to give snails varactyl food asking for a friend" (Nela again)

4- "Orange Lady Tavern, Dock 52, Gold Sector, Corellia. 7 - 9 CST, 22.06.07.448. No pressure." (from Ahuska's alleged older brother, who she has no memory of, who she's still not sure she's ready to meet in person)

5- " <3 " (from Crow, sent while she's literally sitting in his lap in the cockpit)

Werewolf Ahuska hasn't been in a position to send or receive texts in a long while (everyone around her keeps saying silly things like 'not safe'), and she probably destroyed the one she was using while living on Concord Dawn (after everyone around her said things like 'safer this way'). There might be some messages that bounced back to their senders after here abrupt departure from the little community that had somewhat accepted the quaint little bothan hermit who lived up in the mountains...

1- "Sorry to hear you had to leave with such urgency. The kids ask after you and Spirit every day. You're welcome at our table any time." (from the rodian whose art studio Ahuska worked in for a little while to earn some extra cash)

2- "A pity you never had the chance to spend more time with my Brego. He's still interested in your work, if you have the means to safely send it to us." (from the mother of a codru-ji cartographer for whom Ahuska also did a bit of work)

3- "Just had to 'gently' remind a couple of tourists there's no trapping allowed up in your area. Thought you'd appreciate the heads up in case they still try something." (from the bartender in town with a lot of respect for the way Ahuska seems to deal with those who disregard local custom)

4- "hey you still using this number?" (from Crow, just checking >.>)

5- "I hope you're keeping well. Never forget that I won't hesitate to come if you find yourself in need." (from Zare, the charming, gallant bothan who Ahuska struggled to keep at arm's length)

[arach-tinilith]

Can my oc play surgery with yours🥺 she wants to give them sepsis💜

[papersquirrels]

[horsemeatluvr23]

grians inventory management + ender chest contents make me feel ill

[cozybells]

Take this man OUT OF MY SIGHT

[teddybeartoji]

i feel like suguru might not actually be a morning person on his own, but he is a morning person for you. like he wants to get up early and he wants to cook you breakfast. he wants to watch you wake up and he wants to see that darling sleepy smile of yours, so he forgets all about his morning grumpiness. you are way more important than that.

[autisticvampireclub]

Same picture