#people I'd like to know better game thingy

[mimble-sparklepudding]

✦ people I'd like to know better ✦

Tagged by: @briar-ffxiv & @naejlas-axe (and I think I was tagged by some other people ages ago but I was going through a thing sorry) - thank you!

Tagging: @elfie-kitten @cimarraskylark @houserosaire @reikatsukihana @pumpkinmagekupo @stalwart-spirit and anyone else who likes to try :)

last song i listened to: Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel, which might sound a bit maudlin to be doing, but I am currently grieving for a sibling and Watership Down (the original film with proper amounts of blood and trauma, not the rubbish Netflix version) made a big impact upon me in childhood.

favorite color: White (even though my wardrobe is almost entirely black)

currently watching: Mostly lots of comforting and undemanding YouTube videos about puppies or shopping.

sweet/savoury/spicy?: Sweet. I will happily eat fondant icing on its own. To say nothing of cakes, pastries, sweets and puddings. Spicy I am not so keen on, my friends still remind me of the time I had the lemon and herb chicken in Nandos and still found it a bit too much (this was in contrast to my friend who had the chilli sauce from the black bottle with the skull on it).

relationship status: Forever Alone.

last thing you googled: "Animated Cute Otter Gif" to find something to cheer up my mum.

current obsession: Other than FFXIV, I've been been Playing Age of Empires with friends, which I'm not very good at, but it's a nice distraction.

[wilwheaton]

hello mr wil wheaton when you were my age (like exactly i think) you were filming stand by me

I turned 13 during production, so if you're about to become a teenager, I hope you'll let me offer some thoughts that I wish an adult had shared with me, then?

I know this is a wall of text, and giving someone this much of your attention is a HUGE ask. Maybe bookmark this for another time, if you're not into hearing an old man talk.

I wrote this a few days before I turned 50. Thank you in advance for listening, and I wish you a life filled with joy, unconditional love, kindness, and adventure.

Hey everyone! An old man is talking!

In seven days, I will be 50 years-old. This is ... weird. I do not feel the way I expected I would feel when I was approaching 50, nor do any of my friends. The only time I feel like I'm middle-aged is when my body does some bullshit that takes me down for hours because I had the nerve to stand up quickly. And I really hate it when I have to use the flashlight on my phone to see a menu. I mean, at that point, I may as well be dropping my pants for free and singing the Old Gray Mare.

Anyway. This has been on my mind for a little bit, so I had something to say when someone used my tumblr ask me thingy earlier this week:

Q: I hope I'm as cool as you when I'm 49. I'd like to think I'm taking the right steps towards that version of myself. A: So I'm not sure I'm cool, but I do know that I don't suck, and that it's a choice I make every day. I desperately wish someone in my family had told me, or shown me by example, that getting older doesn't mean getting stupid and boring and stuffy and extremely uncool. I wish I'd known that, because I spent all of my life until I was in my 40s feeling like there was this day coming very soon when I would have to stop listening to punk, stop playing video games, put on a suit, and start yelling at kids for no good reason. I didn't know that you don't have to suddenly stop being who you are and become something or someone you hate, just because of a certain age. I know that's super obvious, but to young me, it was not. My dad was an asshole, my mom never showed up for me. Directors and people on set had been treating me like a thing for my entire life. I got yelled at for no reason from adults who knew better almost every day. Most of my elementary school teachers were authoritarian, evangelical assholes. All of these different adults, consistently, shut me down and made me feel like I didn't matter, the things I liked were stupid, and my opinions were invalid because of reasons I didn't understand because I was a dumb kid. So I presumed that when you got to be a certain age, that's what happened. I didn't want to be that, at all, and I was sincerely afraid of the day it would happen. But as I got older, I discovered that all that stuff I hated about adults doesn't automatically happen. Those adults I just mentioned all made a choice to be an asshole. I just didn't know it. I was in my early 20s when I did a movie with a cinematographer who was, I think, 45 at the time. He was the coolest, kindest, most artistic dude I'd ever known. He mentored me and we had epic fun making great art together. I remember telling him, "I'm not afraid of being in my 40s like I used to be. I didn't know you could still be cool." It's sad, that I grew up in such a toxic environment, and didn't know any of these things. So, 9 days before I turn 50, here are a couple things I have figured out: You know who sucks when they hit 49 and 50? People who sucked when they were 20 and never grew up. You know who is an asshole at 49 and 50? Yep. Someone who was an asshole as a kid and never experienced consequences for being an asshole. Hitting middle age has been awesome for me. Other than the aging of my body and its reluctance / refusal to do what I want it to do, I love everything about it. I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life being afraid that, when I hit 50, it was all over. Because honestly it's kind of just starting. The coolest stuff in my life to date has all happened in the last ten years, and I'm so grateful that it coincided with me figuring out a lot of shit so I could enjoy it.

The best part of getting older, by several thousand light years, is the part where we figure out how to stop putting up with other people's bullshit, and we contract our social circle until it's only populated with a VERY few people who deserve us. And I am incredibly grateful for these occasional opportunities to be a 49 year-old dad who can say all the things that would have been reassuring for 19 year-old me to hear (he wouldn't have understood, but 29 year-old me would have remembered, and he would have understood. I think.) I sincerely hope someone hears it and finds it helpful. Anyway, you're gonna be fine. Just remember that being cool, kind, honest, honorable, reliable, listening and showing up … they are all choices. If you want to be cool when you're 49, make the choice and set the example for someone to follow you. Treat kids the way you wanted to be treated when you were young. Listen to them when they offer you the privilege, because that means they trust you, and you have credibility with them. Be a mentor. Be supportive. Show up. Make a choice to be the person you need in the world, and never stop being that person. Start today, and when you're nearing 50 like I am, hopefully you'll remember who you needed right now, so you can be that person to someone else in the future. You're already asking the right questions and taking the first steps. I believe in you. You've got this.

Okay, if you've come this far, perhaps you'll follow me a little bit more, and read a thing I wrote about talking to students just a tiny bit older than you, which contains my core values.

Be honest. I’m a very old man, relative to y’all, and I’ve learned that the only currency that really matters in this world is the truth.

Be honorable. This dovetails with number one. You attract to yourself what you put into the world. Dishonorable people will take everything from you and leave you with nothing. Do your best to be a person they aren’t attracted to.

Work hard. I don’t mean, like, at your crappy minimum wage job you hate. I mean do the hard work that makes relationships work, that gets you ahead in your education, that gets you closer to your goals. Everything worth doing is hard. Everything worth doing requires hard work. Sooner or later, you’re going to run into something in your life that’s really hard, and you’ll want to give up, but it’s something you care so much about, you’ll do whatever you can to achieve it. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be less hard for someone who has practiced doing the hard things all along, than it is for someone who doesn’t know how to do the hard work because they’ve always chosen the easy path.

Always do your best. Even if you don’t get the result you wanted, doing your best — which will vary from day to day, moment to moment — is all you can ever do. We tell athletes to leave it all on the field. Whatever your version of that is, do it.

This is the most important one. This is the one I hope you’ll all hear and embrace. This is the one I hope you’ll share with your peers: Always be kind.”

When I read number 5, I looked up at them. I was so happy to see a classroom filled with teenagers who were all listening intently, even the ones I thought had tuned me out. “Here’s the thing about being Kind, versus being Nice,” I said. “I have interacted with lots of nice people who are incredibly unkind. Why is that? How do you choose to be nice but not kind?”

I pointed to my head. “This is where nice comes from,” I said. Then, I put my hand over my heart. “This is where kind comes from.” I put my hands out, like, “get it?”

There was this collective gasp of realization that I did not expect, at all. One kid said “Oh damn!” I saw a few kids look at each other like the trick had just been explained to them. They heard me. They really, really heard me. And it was amazing.

Okay, that's all. If you're still here, thank you for giving me so much of your time and attention. I hope you'll come back in a few years, and let me know how you're doing.

[isatartdump]

You draw them all so cool!!! And awesome!! But is that top surgery scars on loop 👀 (sorry I’m also curious were you thinking about anything specific when you drew them in casual clothes cause they all fit the characters So Well) sorry for bothering you I love your art

YES! I think Siffrin, Loop and Isa have top scars (CAN!! Do a stretch and say Odile has them too but I am not ready to think about it, I think she'll get more butch lesbian than she already is)… Lemme talk about them and hope I don't accidentally spoil the game HA

Loop's are more like how people usually draw top surgery scars? Mostly because I draw them by joining stars up, so it KINDA looks like stars blowing up!

I believe Isa left some really small scars just for the simbolism of finally being his authentic self or something… Since in vaugarde they transition (or honestly just find new ways to become themselves both physically and mentally) by using craft so I kinda headcanon it to be like… Treating your own body like it's made out of clay, people can just opt to have no scars whatsoever. Way easier than it is IRL, haha. I wish… Also I believe he'd put some tattoos on there to be stylish and handsome and pretty but I also don't know what kind of tattoo Isa would choose to get. If I do a modern AU I might think about it…

And Siffrin I'm. I'm working on it… I don't draw them shirtless often enough to think about it… But I see them as little lines that end on a small explosion at the end. Simple but gets a point across- More so a thing to remind him of how far they've gone rather than a thing that will be seen by other people but to fair isn't this what top scars are for us sometimes? Little reminders that things get better and how far we've come?

Now that the top scar ramble is over!!!!! Onto the thinking abotu something while drawing them casual... I was mostly thinking about clothes that would fit them in a sense of like. Fitting their body shape and just generally looked like they belong in their wardrobe. It's mostly about comfort and feeling like "Yeah they went to the store and bought that pair of pants". At least in my brain.

Making them look confident and comfortable in clothes that either fit their personality or what they usually wear kinda gets the overall feeling of "Yes of course Odile would wear that" methinks :) I'd say Loop is kinda the hardest one to dress in a way that... They would dress? Since they're. Nakey nakey the entire game but then you just work with what you think this sassy motherfucker (/aff) would wear. They have an absurd amount of personality that I think would be hard to not go into how they wear clothes

Loop my beloved. Was gonna gatekeep this last one but you guys can have it :) Also you don't bother! Thank you so much for liking my little thingies <3

[mithrilhearts]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Look at me getting to this 500 years later (I'm so sorry!!) Anyway.

Thank you both so much, @cilil & @laurfilijames for sending me this ask game thingy!! I figured I'd just do it in one post, so I hope that's okay, but here we go!

I think picking my "favorite fics" of mine is like, asking a parent to pick their favorite child - not easy, in most cases I guess lol...but I will do my best and explain why! These are all based off of fics I've COMPLETED, and by no means reflects on my love and affection for the other stories I've written. I love them all for their own reasons, otherwise I wouldn't have written them.

In no particular order...

May Your Forge Burn Bright - This is THE original longfic from me. I started this back when I was creeping my way out of RP and into fanfiction, and was nothing more than an independent baby writer. (Been writing a long time, just never like this), and the story means so much to me, as well as the commentary from readers along the way. It's still my longest fic to date, and I love a good "alternate first meeting" fic. It's the OG, and you can't replace that.

Dragonhearted - The Hobbit & Beauty and The Beast are my two FAVORITE stories, and mashing them together like this was perfect for me. Dragon!Thorin is such a fun concept for me, and badass Bilbo is another. This setting just WORKS. (Also, did you know @i-did-not-mean-to had a BLANKET made for this fic???)

Kurdu 'abadaz - That's right, I finished this one just recently, and it has easily stolen my heart to being a favorite. The Fix-it fic that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to write, that went under a LOT of rehashing and had a huge overhaul in the story early on when planning. It turned out so much better than anticipated, and the love for this fic from readers/friends has been overwhelming.

Fuck Thy Neighbor - A VERY FUN ROM-COM STYLE MODERN AU!!! This really had me cackling the entire way through, and like a few other fics of mine, it spawned from a writer's ask game/tag game thing that I can't quite remember. Accidental marriage & neighbors? I love it. It's so funny, and I enjoy rereading it frequently for the laughs.

When Darkness Shines Brightest - Did you know that anything can be made into a Bagginshield Fic? Did you know that this fic spawned from a joke/conversation between @starthecozy and I and then erupted into this really original Hades/Persephone, Nightmare Before Xmas, blended style fic?? Various worlds and environments, powers over elements, and saving homes from a dragon?? The Onion Fic sprouted, and blossomed into one of my favorite stories, and I got to collaborate with Star the entire way through it, and we had SO MUCH FUN!!! Go give it a read, it's really neat!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met - My entry for THAUC22 (partnered with the amazing @consultingpacha), and one of my FAVORITE concepts. Yet again, another "alternate meeting" style fic, featuring small kids Fili and Kili, rather than adults. What it sets up to at the end of the fic blends into the OG Hobbit story, but with a few small changes that I kind of want to explore one day in a sequel. 👀

Between Vices and Virtues - My entry for TRSB22 (partnered with @mysandwichranaway!!) First of all, I love working with Sandy, it's truly one of my favorite things on this good planet, and I can't wait to do it again - hopefully soon. Secondly, this was my take at a modern royalty AU, and learning about how to connect with the people around you. I have two sequels planned for this universe (even if this fic kind of felt like a let-down in terms of reception? but idc about that lmao) it was so fun for me. A light dusting of magic superstition in a modern au setting? Sign me up!

[crystalitecloudie]

great places to hide in for sagau imposter aus

Stormterror's Lair/Dvalin's Nest/Old Mondstadt/whatever you wanna call it idrc:

great place to hide. let's be honest, the pathway to actually get there, even from the dawn winery area is LONG. annoyingly long. not that that really ever mattered in an imposter au, but it'll at least keep them off your trails for a while

"oh, the imposter is weakened! they wouldn't travel all that way, let alone only to stay in the same country and be killed by dvalin!"

oh yes they would

also there is a lot of rubble and hiding spots. if we're going by typical sagau stuff, the hilichurls would immediately come to your defense and give you shelter

they also know the territory way better than you do, so they could probably guide you to safe spots

lastly, I think dvalin would be on your side. venti too, actually. I think it's dumb how usually, venti is depicted as evil or "being forced to do it" in imposter aus

I actually don't ever think venti would ever reveal his identity to the people either. I think he'd sit back and watch the chaos, letting his people do what they want with their freedom or whatever, and would maybe start helping the reader once dvalin says "hey this imposter is the real creator"

Enkanomiya:

this one will take a bit of traveling, but depending on how far you are into the game, it'll already be unlocked. once it is, you can easily escape in through Watatsumi and hide among the darkness and islands

I feel like the floating rays and vishap thingies would be your friends. maybe this is how you meet the Abyss, too, since Enkanomiya is technically a part of the abyss

the floating rays are probably your transportation, but if anybody else happens to follow you in and hunt you down, they probably won't even be able to reach the islands at all

lastly, Enkanomiya is pretty unknown. 99% of teyvat's population probably doesn't even know it exists. overall, the greatest hiding spot I'd recommend on this list 👌

Vanarana:

this one is a common one. a lot of fanfictions already exists of it. but that's because ITS A GENIUS IDEA OKAY

it's literally like an alternate universe. If you know the harp tune, you can just live with the aranara for the rest of your life. it's like the chill faerie cottagecore life you always wanted!!!!!

AND each aranara tune is individual to each aranara. so other than the traveller knowing one, pretty much nobody knows the tunes

need I say more?

The Chasm:

this is another underrated one that I rarely see. it's dark and dangerous and spooky, and has lots of hilichurls for you to befriend

they can spend their last dying moments with the creator!! how fun!!!

also a great segway into becoming a part of the abyss

there are a lot more abyss lectors down here, so your protection would be even stronger

you could also stay with that mechanical worm thing that I forget the name of, but he's kind of intimidating

lastly, the chasm is pretty vast and hard to traverse, so people would have a hard time finding you

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

@buckysleftarm replied to your post:

After reading this, I happened across this video: https://youtube.com/shorts/-X5l5GFeg1k?si=H2lrsmx0pv60wn1h They're not in our camp anymore and I wouldn't know how to view the non companions anyway on PS5, but it feels like she definitely is taking some time off from Selune without breaking her oath full?

I sure did use this reply as an excuse to mash out a giant post! Hope you don't mind.

I do actually love that you've brought this up, because I keep seeing variants of it around and have been wanting to comment on it, if for nothing else than to make me feel better. The gist of it goes something like this: after killing Lorroakan, Aylin's "Child of the Moonmaiden" ability no longer shows up when you examine her character sheet, meaning her immortality has been taken away, she is being punished by her mother, has broken her paladin oath, or is feuding with her in some other way. Now... people in the comments of that video sure have takes on Selûne and on Aylin and on paladin oaths and aasimar abilities in general that make giant question marks spawn above my head. 

Personally? I dislike it immensely and think it makes zero sense for a variety of reasons, both in-universe and out! To be fair, as with most headcanons and theories, I'd genuinely love to see someone get creative and do something interesting with it. But I have this knee-jerk reaction to it because so far I've only seen it in the context of people parroting it completely uncritically, just regurgitating it on endless reddit or forum or discord threads and what have you, and actually shutting down or completely derailing Aylin-related discussion. Which frustrates me, obviously, because I want cool, detailed, thought-out takes on my fave, always, and - to be really petty for a moment - since my fave isn't the fandom darling, I only get crumbs to start with! It grinds my gears because so very often I'll want to read this potentially interesting thread about a character I love, but nope, instead here's a dozen comments how "nah man she broke her oath and there's special oathbreaker paladin dialogue with her about it" - no there isn't. That's a very easily verifiable fact, my guy. You made that up, my dude. How dare you just go and make things up on the internet. 

A ton of BG3 discussion has been flooded with a weird wave of statements that are just put there as well-known fact but in reality read like "I heard from a friend whose uncle works at the Nintendo Larian department and he told him Halsin went on a special mission and killed Isobel a century ago because he wanted to emotionally compromise Ketheric but then playtesters reacted badly to it and Wizards made them take it out but it's still hinted in the game, and also if you use an Elixir of Hill Giant Strength and do an unarmed attack on the cart at the entrance of the Emerald Grove you can get Mew" and I find it so grating. And then people waste time debunking this and arguing in the same circles and nobody ever moves on to more interesting stuff. I say this, as if I haven't been an active participant of internet fandom for decades and have literally anyone but myself to blame here, hah.

For instance, the way you phrased it here, as Aylin herself taking a break or trying to step away instead of the "being abandoned and punished by her mother" angle from the video and the comments? That's something I think has potential and something I want to rotate in my mind - would she do it? Could she do it? What would this entail and what would it mean for her? What would actually be enough to prompt her to even try? And it's cool that a little gameplay mechanic thingy prompted that! However - and I'm keeping it kinda vague because I don't want to spoil you on things that happen after the point you seem to be at - if we're talking purely established canon things and not brainstorming an AU or a post-game trajectory for this character, there is nothing actually in the game to indicate Aylin is taking a break from Selûne or her duties, especially not to the extent of having any of her abilities suspended. Quite the contrary, in fact. Everything we get from her and Isobel after the Lorroakan situation is handled shows she is, for better or worse, very much resolved to be her old self and very righteously angry and smiting evil in her mother's name as the Sword of Selûne and actively engaged in protecting Selûnites Realms-wide, and she has her full set of powers and blessings while doing so.

In this essay I will In the rest of this post I will try to be less cranky and I'm going to get a bit technical to try to actually explain what is going on with the "Child of the Moonmaiden" ability.

TL;DR: the buff is disabled as soon as Aylin enters the wizard tower, before any fight or backbreaking or feelings of loss and sadness, likely for the purpose of you being able to win or lose the fight no matter if you side with Aylin or betray her. It is a purely mechanical contrivance and has no narrative meaning, nor is its presence or absence mentioned or reflected in the narrative at all.

Here's Aylin in camp just before being told about the wizard:

Here she is at the start of the fight, when she is sided with:

And here she is, when you side against her:

The above is an oversimplification, however, because the actual implementation of Aylin's immortality is a bit of a mess.

There are two implementations of her resurrection active in the game, and both are implemented as a Status: "GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION" and "GLO_NIGHTSONG_RESURRECTION". Now, I don't know what was going on there and I'm certainly not a Larian dev, but that underscore situation there is... weird. I also don't know enough about BG3-specific scripting yet to come up with an explanation on why there would be two variants of it at all - if anyone does, please let me know! I'm very curious. However, these two implementations of her resurrection ability work very differently, and you can see the effects of both of them in-game. 

The first one, GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION, is named "Moonmaiden's Reconstitution" and is tied to the "Child of the Moonmaiden" Passive (itself called SHA_NightsongResurrection, side note: GLO is the "global" prefix and SHA is a prefix that signifies the Gauntlet of Shar area in Act 2). This ability makes Aylin auto-stabilise when downed instead of rolling death saves, go into the kneeling stabilised animation where she can be helped up or healed just like your party members - you know the one, with the little asterisk hovering above them. Then on the start of her next turn she heals for exactly 1HP (unless she's under a healing-disabling effect, such as Bone Chill, which is why people have trouble with her in the Myrkul fight) and she has only her Bonus Action, the same as any other previously downed character.

Mechanically, it applies the "GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION_DOWNED" Status to her which modifies what happens when she is Downed to implement the above non-standard behaviour, and also does stuff like turn off her Moonbeam if she had it active.

The "Moonmaiden's Reconstitution" Status itself is completely invisible in-game: it has properties such as "DisableOverhead;DisableCombatlog;DisablePortraitIndicator" aka doesn't show up as that little text popup above the character, doesn't show up in the combat log, and doesn't have a visible indicator icon anywhere.

The description for "Child of the Moonmaiden" is:

"Blessed with the favour of a goddess, Nightsong cannot be permanently killed. When unconscious, [at] the start of her turn she recovers 1 hit point."

The second one, GLO_NIGHTSONG_RESURRECTION with the extra underscore, is a Status called "Nightsong Soars Eternal", and that one doesn't have any other Statuses or Passives tied to it, it simply resurrects her immediately when she dies, and at full health. When it triggers, you can actually see her portrait drop out of the initiative tracker at the top of the screen as if she completely died, and then she gets put in again. This one is active even when the first one isn't, so you can see it in places like camp after she comes back from Lorroakan, and after she comes back for the finale all the way until the end of the game - and by "see it" I mean since it doesn't have any Passive ability connected to it, you have to actually get Aylin killed to see it trigger (I'm so sorry Aylin, it was important for the post, I swear).

The description for "Nightsong Soars Eternal" is:

"Nightsong will be resurrected by the powers of Selûne whenever she dies."

In Lorroakan's tower, BOTH of these are disabled, and if downed, Aylin will just lie there as if she died for real with the little red skull and the "Dead" status until she gets rezzed for a cutscene after the fight or, if betrayed, you go to long rest and then come back to see Lorroakan's progress, at which point she will be up and in the cage with a total of 1HP and that "Soul Caged" status instead. 

Note again that she visibly has "Child of the Moonmaiden" disabled as soon as she enters the wizard tower area, betrayed or not, before she does anything to anyone. It's a way of making sure the Lorroakan fight is actually winnable/loseable/concludable without her getting stuck in that revive with 1HP at the start of her turn loop. "Nightsong Soars Eternal" also obviously doesn't trigger. Instead she says her "I will rise again!" line and stays down. She has every other ability and buff active normally, even ones that explicitly mention coming from Selûne, like her iconic following Moonbeam, for example, or her fancy unique Smite.

Again, significantly: she does not have her immortality buffs if you fight against her, either, betraying her and causing Selûne's wrath and desire to protect her daughter to manifest physically in the room, including empowering Aylin herself with buffs that are called things like "Moonmother's Embrace". See what I'm getting at?

Interestingly, she also doesn't have it when you first meet her:

What does this all mean? Well, I'd say that if we took every gameplay/implementation thing about this game as in-universe gospel, Aylin herself would look a lot different and be far more scaly, for one.

(Makes me chuckle every time.)

In all seriousness, though, if something as big as this happened to a side but still fairly prominent character, the game would tell us about it. Or at least make a bigger deal of it than the deactivation of a passive ability visible on the Examine screen that many people sadly don't really tend to look at and read.

And here's the best thing: nobody has to take my word for any of this, you can see for yourself, without actually knowing how to unpack game files or having my frankly ridiculous amount of hard saves! I think this is super helpful in general, especially for people playing on console:

Here's a link to a truly amazing and consistently updated resource - every bit of dialogue in the game, nicely parsed and laid out and super readable (as well as some additional tools to play around with). 

Here's a website where you can search inside BG3 scripts and other files and take a look at a lot of the nitty-gritty implementation stuff in a convenient way.

I recognise that I go way too deep into things and overstuff my brain with minutiae, but that's just how I work. I take forever to post anything anywhere on the internet because I just physically cannot click a post button without triple-checking everything and quoting and screenshotting things, even if it's the same thing for the twentieth time, and that's certainly a me problem. I very much don't expect people to do things my way, but I also find the games of telephone these things so rapidly become really frustrating, you know?

But my biggest problem with this particular Aylin thing - beyond the annoying preponderance of it, as I've already whined - is that in-universe it just makes no sense and I, an aasimar paladin enjoyer, personally dislike it.

Oath of Vengeance paladins abide by the following tenets: Fight the Greater Evil. Exerting your wisdom, identify the higher morality in any given instance, and fight for it. No Mercy for the Wicked. Chasten those who dole out their villainy by wiping their blight from the world forever.

Putting the rest of this post under a cut because it's long and ranty and you didn't actually ask for it.

My first problem: the common argument that Aylin is in the wrong for killing Lorroakan like she did because he has "done nothing to her yet", and that she breaks her Oath of Vengeance because she attacked him preemptively.

The man put a price on her head and sent violent mercs to beat her up and kidnap her. He tries to (temporarily) kill her and imprison her as soon as she refuses to cooperate by… demurely waltzing into the prison and putting the chains on herself? He knows exactly who she is, what has been done to her, and he wants to do it again - no, doesn't want to, he is actively doing it again. The fact that (if you side with Aylin) he fails mid-attempt doesn't make him innocent of it. He refuses to stop and, if denied, gets violent and murderous. 

Player: Have it your way. I'll bring her here. Lorroakan: Good. I was growing scared for you. The last person who disappointed me is suffering for it still. Do not return without my prize. Do you hear me? Good day.

Player: I'll think about it. Lorroakan: You aren't the only one who knows what's on offer for the Nightsong's retrieval. Consider carefully whether you'd like to see your fortune in someone else's hands. Someone who might slip into your camp at any moment, or harry you through street and inn until you're run ragged and surrender. The choice is yours: fortune or imminent death. I know you'll choose wisely.

Mark my words: the Nightsong is mine. With or without your help, she will ascend to her grand fate here, in this tower.

Player: You heard me. The answer is no. Lorroakan: Pity. Then again, perhaps word of your agonising death will draw your little friend to me. Myrmidons - imperatum!

He is fully equipped for it and has set up a whole magical trap and is just waiting for her to show up to trigger it, or for someone to drag her there against her will. He says she will go into the cage "kicking and screaming" and really, this is who she is wrong for "picking a fight with" and "attacking preemptively"? Surely nobody actually thinks that Aylin is at fault here or that she actually overreacted by killing him? I don't really want to go into some people's really, really shitty attitudes towards Aylin for sadly entirely predictable reasons but… man. She went over there and threatened him with violence, demanding an explanation after he sent cronies to attack her in her sleep? Wow, what a weird thing to do. Also, he literally is the one to attack first! She is there threatening and goading him, doing her little "face me charlatan" bit, but he is the one who sics the myrmidons on her (or the player) and actually starts the fight, every time. To be clear, I don't think this is very relevant at all, but people do seem to love bringing it up.

Is Aylin brash and reckless and clearly struggling after her captivity, dealing with rapidly flaring up anger and outbursts of violence - only ever, may I emphasise, towards actually horrid people, and she is really rather shockingly forgiving and tolerant of the player character messing with her? Yes! Does she seem to have that classical aspect of "she might go too far one day" or "she might lose herself in the anger and vengeance if she focuses on it exclusively"? Absolutely! Do I think she could have been, say, a Devotion paladin before her imprisonment and it might have been the betrayal and century in the Shadowfell that made her change to Vengeance instead? I love that idea! I also think it's likely she has just always been a very zealous, very smitey and offence-oriented Vengeance paladin, called Selûne's sword for a very good reason, fulfilling a very important role in the ongoing struggle against Shar.

And the whole problem is… Lorroakan will, as we've seen, not stop trying, and people like him will always be around and never stop coming after her especially now that the cat's apparently out of the bag after Balthazar, and Aylin needs to live with this, forever. That is why she is so messed up about this one rando wizard she's never met before. That is why this specific incident is so triggering for her. She has just escaped torment on a timescale that's not something the normal human mind can really grasp. "In this moment, I want for nothing." ended up lasting, indeed, barely a moment! Her mum is a powerful god and right now it seems that what Aylin actually gets from it is having a target painted on her back and, to quote Isobel, she can be hurt just like anyone else, she just gets to suffer longer! She keeps being dealt these shit hands and, yeah, it'd make anyone go… why? Seems unfair, right? What exactly is the point of this? 

The various dialogue options you have while warning her about Lorroakan's intentions and which include trying to convince her to just leave him be include her being so, so frustrated, and so understandably, it makes me feel horrible for her. 

She always ultimately goes to confront him, because she has no other real choice. He will keep coming after her, he will keep sending people after her, and she will never, ever get a bit of rest, and she's, what, supposed to go live in hiding somewhere if you convince him she's dead? Until the jig is inevitably up or this guy dies by someone else's hand? And there's also the element Aylin herself will point out if you keep her in the dark about the plot and Aradin and his cronies come to attack your camp: how long until someone hurts Isobel during one of these attempts or actively goes after her as a bargaining chip?

I guess I just genuinely do not understand the arguments about this guy who has been deliberately constructed to be a horrible, hateful piece of shit with exactly zero redeeming qualities, to an almost comical extent. He beats his apprentice and uses his assistant for target practice! He's a sick, sick asshole! His life's dream rests on kidnapping and enslavement! The guy is conspiring and trying to ally with Ketheric and Balthazar of all people: 

Lorroakan,

I have responded out of respect to my counsellor, Balthazar, who advises me that you may prove a loyal ally in the coming fight. I understand you wish to know about the soul cage which binds the Nightsong to me. Details, I cannot and will not provide. But the magic itself is necromantic in nature, designed by my aforementioned counsellor. I hope your curiosity is satisfied.

General Ketheric Thorm

This is who people think a vengeance pally will break her oath over? Over what, a technicality of who struck first? "Desecrating a corpse"? No, it was Ketheric she did that to, and nothing happened. She just finished this guy off in a violent and dramatic fashion. 

While you can play a paladin yourself and kill so many people in so many ways without anything happening, this is more of a consideration if you play Oath of Devotion or Ancients. It's also one that makes parts of the game harder - comically evil cultists torturing and executing prisoners cannot simply be attacked out of nowhere, and instead you need to announce your challenge first. You need to walk up to them and start talking, establish their villainy, and then fight "fairly". This is also partially an issue arising from the implementation of hostility flags and game logic, by the way. However, Oath of Vengeance gives precious few fucks about this and is a really hard oath to break. In fact, in a very similar situation to the wizard tower, in the House of Grief, you break the Oath of Vengeance if you spare Viconia - at that point lying on the floor soundly defeated and bleeding out much the same way Lorroakan was. Viconia who, may I note, never "did anything to you" but did harm a friend of yours.

Also, and this is a whole separate discussion, but... it's a FR DnD game. You kill bad guys in it. You kill vaguely morally grey, or even good guys in it. You and your friends kill so many people before this point. Multi-act quest arcs conclude with "go to place and kill someone". You mete out "justice" personally, repeatedly, and can harp on that fact, especially if you're playing a paladin. You don't exactly call the guards on people instead, even in the middle of the city. Ludo-narrative dissonance or no, why would this one wizard suddenly be different, and why would this one woman be singled out for a thus far completely typical approach and set of actions? 

My second problem: a great big "Selûne wouldn't do that". I understand Forgotten Realms "lore" is a giant unwieldy self-contradicting mess of a beast and I'm not saying people should be scholars of it to participate in the discussion, far from it, but I would like them to engage with what is presented in the game itself at least.

For the most succinct possible example, look at what Selûne does when Aylin is betrayed. She buffs her in order to enable her to violently and zealously win that fight. Literally empowers Aylin to smack her enemies around more and with greater strength and also burn them alive in holy fire. Not after she's imprisoned and well and truly "wronged", but during this fabulously absolving "mere attempt" on Lorroakan's part.

Also, may I point out the sweet little shielding- and healing-focused cleric of the same goddess is actively disappointed that you and Aylin won't let her come with to hit the guy a few times herself! This goes for the entire party of assorted weirdos, goody-good or otherwise, who firmly believe Aylin should just obliterate that guy. Like, c'mon, my man Wyll! (Super sad and touching exception: Karlach, if you've killed Gortash already. When she begs you not to tell Aylin about any of it at all and go deal with the wizard yourselves, just so Aylin can have a bit more peace and keep her sword sheathed for just a little while longer. Ow, my heart.)

In summary, basically, my twofold beef:

"Selûne punishing and abandoning her daughter for over-zealously defending herself" - nonsensical and uninteresting. Stops people from actually delving into and discussing the complexities of that relationship.

"OoV paladin broke her oath by killing an evil wizard who is actively trying to do horrible things to her and attacks her" - nonsensical and uninteresting. Let's instead actually engage with the material and discuss Aylin's trauma and how she might deal or not deal with it in good or bad ways. What would recovery even look like, for her. How does the way she intrinsically ties her entire being into being a smite-happy moon-magic knight play into it. Let's actually consider the weight and role of duty in her life and the wombo-combo of being an aasimar paladin, an existence with a very "purpose-made" aspect to it. You know, the good ol' Being A Sword thing, including being born into it. Combined with being rather suddenly rather intensely humanised by a loving relationship with a mortal woman, with all sorts of ticking clocks, unique challenges, and both past and pending tragedy there.

Or let's talk about the dissonance present in Aylin's cool and badass scenes of smiting deserving evil. Scenes that go into very violent and very over the top territory, that make you both cheer and cringe, that make a point of showing the other characters reacting in shock. Because I genuinely feel so bad for her and deeply worried for her, all while my silly little brain goes fuck yeah smite him shiny lady! Ooooh look, a flashy Aylin scene, ripping a deserving villain to pieces! But at what cost to herself? Feels so good to have someone deliver some justice! But if I think about it for 5 seconds I don't actually want her to - no, no, I do. I don't want her to have to, is the thing. (It's kind of like that one Gundam meme.)

I will conclude this mess by doing a salty little yeah. It's fine, this is fine, this is sadly pretty much part of the standard experience of liking a female character in fandom. God forbid women do anything indeed. Outside of a few select, narrow and highly dedicated circles, half the (scarce) posts about her are something that's either flat-out wrong, or just assumes the absolute worst of her and reduces her to two and a half shitty stereotypes, and half the fics tagged with her are actually about fandom's favourite two dudes and barely feature her at all.

And on that note, I'm off to actually be a positive force and poke at my own fic some more.

[seyfertgalaxy]

Collector analysis again! but small.

So, i believe that Collector does not enjoy turning people into puppets. i saw this idea thrown around a bit, and i think i agree with it. He uses more as a "punishment" than anything, really. but a harmless one; one he finds will keep them safe and sound.

Like with Lilith and Hooty! Lilith called King her nephew, something that Collector was not fond of. so, while sending a moon toward her to puppetify her, Hooty jumps in and gets hit instead. so Collector goes back for a second shot to actually get Lilith like intended.

I also was wondering if Hooty didn't do anything wrong, why didnt Collector fix it? Well, i figure theres two reasons for that. One: He needs puppets to play pretend with, and/or Two: Hooty helped Lilith when she had done something wrong(in his eyes).

He has an angry expression while doing this, yet a calm one when explaining how they're safe and not hurt. That Is His Form Of "Discipline". for now, at least.

or with Terra! whenever she insults King, that's whenever he turns her into a puppet. Angry expression, yet again, and his words: "you're not being very nice right now".

And to add on to this being discipline, Terra says this:

"Play along, and you won't get turned into a puppet. do your role correctly. " Also, when he holds up the moon, her reaction is anything BUT glee and cheerfulness. So, he knows it negatively affects people(this was also shown with Lilith's reaction to Hooty).

it also vaguely reminds me of whenever the Collector was in the mirror thingy. he was trapped and couldn't really do anything since he was a shadow. and these people, as puppets, are technically trapped and can't do anything. this one is a stretch, i think, but it makes some sense.

and onto how he speaks about Eda in this scene...

He's speaking about replacing Terra for the "real thing" because who can play Eda better than Eda herself? He clearly has a liking to Eda. He kept Terra around longer out of anyone because she's playing the role of Eda. He tried his best to explain her role to her—multiple times. When he's describing Eda to both Terra and King, he's very passionate about it. Smiling and excited! But he can't play with her because he thinks that she's still the owl beast. I think the awe comes from how King spoke about her to explain "The Owl House Game." Because he clearly had to speak about her to explain the game, as he did with Luz. i wouldn't be surprised if thats how King originally described Eda to Collector, and they just ran with it. or maybe they made that connection themselves based on how King spoke about her! both are plausible.

However, this admiration would not stop him from disciplining her. He says this:

He may have been talking about the Owl Beast in specific, but either way, he was meaning Eda.

Now, i can't say for certain why everyone else was turned into puppets(other than the other adults, because I'd say that was because they were attacking along with some of the students). But these were also his spies, not him himself. though that's what we saw.

And given that this kid would turn someone into a puppet for saying the wrong word, anything was possible! (i saw like two people say he did that because he saw "nephew" as a threat because of Belos and Hunter)

But he obviously doesn't like doing it, and typically only does it whenever he's angry or feels threatened. But hey! it seems to be better than what the other Collectors would do! as seen in the book, i feel like if they were to do something like this, it would end with a lot of actual harm and probably even murder. which does make me nervous for the next episode, but!! we'll see what it actually means, probably

[rayofmisfortune]

A BENDY MOVIE!?? IS THIS BATIM TRYING TO DRAG ME BACK IN??

Idk if people have any context for the movie, but personallyyyy I'd love to see like a before the ink machine kinda thingy. Maybe get to see the beginnings of Joey's madness? See how he first created the Ink Demon? I'm focusing on Bendy way too much when I think batim/batdr but on that note, please a movie from his pov would be great, ik it's not what we'll get but just imagine the utilization of Bendy cartoons to tell his story and such

Actually what would be way way better would be a movie sequel to the end of batdr- no idea if a game for that was announced, all I know of is the Cage. But thinking about it, the ending offers a lot of creatuve freedom. Audrey and Bendy living together, Gent on a hunt to return what by all means, they have the rights to, aka the ink machine and everythinf created by it AKA BENDY AND AUDREY??? Idk if Audrey counts as well- anyways, a sort of on the run shenanigans kinda delio would also be pretty cool- to finally get to see what gent actually is like... who was the ceo of gent... Alan Gray? Yea

No matter what the movie ends up being about, it's gonna be a banger, no doubt about that

[khaopybara]

tag game ✨

@mbjw saved me from saturday boredom and tagged me in this, so thank you jubs, i enjoyed these a lot.

1. why did you choose your url?

i love khaotung. khaotung was obsessed with the capybara song last year before i even knew who he was. capybaras happen to be a very common animal in the region i live. i was very happy they were getting the recognition they deserved. put them together, we have lovely khao + capybaras = khaopybara (i'm also super sure i've seen people here and on tw use this and i just stole it. i'm not creative especially when it comes to usernames).

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i have two other sideblogs. @tuseryoo for all of the gifs i make so i can have all of them in one blog just because, so i feel like i'm not losing track of the things i create (even though i haven't updated that one in a while), and @captain-xandis that some moots might have noticed in their notifications bc i recently created that one to post gifs about critical role, but i always forget to check which blog appears on top of the thingy, so i'm constantly deleting and reblogging things in the right blog these days.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

as of july 3rd, i've been here for 11 years now, so since 2013? which tracks with my super strong k-pop phase tbh.

4. do you have a queue tag?

nah, i have a queue going for gifs that are requests or for episodes that already aired, but usually i just post things whenever.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

ha, i was into super junior. and i was experimenting with fandom for the first time at the time. that's it. i felt like tumblr was a lot more creative and pretty than twitter or facebook, so i stayed.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i am a mook defender and apologist. i also think aya is super cute and super pretty. i change icons so often though, i blame all the pretty women in qls these days for making me change it all the time.

7. why did you choose your header?

i am breathing and living for the heart killers and kantbison and unfortunately i'm dying from lack of content. the tattoo table kiss is going to change lives i think, so until we don't get the official version, i'll have this masterpiece displayed there somehow.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

as of now, it's a 23.5 official trailer gifset of sun being jealous of ongsa with amazing 939 notes, but the gifset of lada protecting earn from hitting her head on the table is quickly catching up with 877.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

17 mutuals? i think that's right.

10. how many followers do you have?

843 if you count the main blog + side-blogs.

11. how many people do you follow?

... 27 blogs.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i mean, sure? i do get embarrassed by my own shitposts sometimes and i delete them tho.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

all the time. it's my favorite social media for sure. i get to see pretty things and my dash is much better curated than other apps. it's great.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i don't think i ever fought online. i block people with remarkable expedience tbh if i don't like their vibe or their tone or the shit they post, and i also make use of the filtered tags, so you know, no reason to fight.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

these exist? good for them. you shouldn't tell people what to do.

16. do you like tag games?

sure! i only started being part of them now, so sometimes i forget them, or i just don't see i was tagged, but i do enjoy them.

17. do you like ask games?

i don't think i've ever done an ask game but that's mainly bc i think people won't want to know and won't send any asks, and i'd rather spare my ego from that humiliation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i think many of my mutuals are famous in our ql bubble which makes it a little crazy that some are my mutuals tbh. that's most of them actually.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do have people that make me kick my feet when they interact with my posts like, twirling my hair, silly smile, giggling because they've noticed me. but actually crushing, imagining our lives in the countryside, with a kitchen facing the meadow in a fine spring morning, with two dogs and three cats, no.

20. tags?

i'm tagging @namtanfilm, @aylinaliens, @sollucets and @sherrymagic, @ayansukkhaphisit and whoever feels like doing it, and to those i've tagged, just ignore this if you want, too, no pressure.

[nobodies-png]

hi! can i request some yandere xigbar hcs? especially if he managed to start dating his darling without giving away his real feelings?

sure thingy! i thought i'd had a couple of yandere xigbar posts out there but turns out they're all in drafts lmfao...

as usual, warning for yandere themes!

Considering Xigbar as a whole, he's absolutely one of the most dangerous types of yandere - acting and playing out various roles has become second nature to him due to his overall goals, to the point where he can easily slip into any convenient persona when needed. He knows how to talk his way into and out of anything, and he knows you like the back of his hand.

If you happen to notice something slightly off about him, it's only because he allowed you to, allowing a small glimpse into what lurks underneath. Enough to make you feel bad or guilty, all to "correct" your behaviour and actions - because you're a good person. You would never want to make your loved ones miserable or angry, would you?

But! That doesn't happen often, if at all! Because Xigbar knows that it's better to keep you happy and content. The more attached you get to his silly antics and teasing, his aura of mystery and so on, the better it will be for him on the long run. He loves playing all these mind games, fueling the illusion of equality in this relationship.

In your eyes, all this initial flirting and courtship is a fun game of push and pull, you're both figuring each other's quirks and all - but it's all carefully planned and played out. I'd say he's similar to Axel in this way, always making you come back - either because of that sense of mystery or security that only he can offer. He doesn't isolate you from the others, he just makes sure to be the one you always want to come back to at the end of the day.

If he wanted to, he could spend this current lifetime (and the next one, and the next one, and the one after that - it's silly to think he'd let you go that easily) pretending to be in a completely normal, wholesome and fun relationship with you! And you wouldn't know any better! Whereas some other characters like Saix and Vexen tend to have very scary and drastic changes in personality whenever they feel like they're losing control over your love, thoughts and actions, Xigbar knows how to subtly steer you into the right direction. He'd call it fate, the way you two end up together amidst all this chaos and drama - you two were just meant to be! - but there was no other way it could've ended.

Still, as fun as it might be to keep you in the dark forever, blissfully ignorant, Xigbar is curious and loves to fuck around and find out - when the routine becomes too boring for him, you can expect him to start ignoring you, giving you the cold shoulder. He grows distant and muted, out of the blue, leaving you wondering if you've done something to upset him, or if he's bottling something up. Seeing you so concerned, trailing after him like a lost puppy and finding ways to make up and talk things through, cheer him up, or give him his space - he eats that shit up. Getting reactions out of people is always a treat, so getting to see all these new sides of you is even better.

There is a very, very small chance that he comes clean about everything - and it's not during some heated fight or done on purpose to scare you into staying. Generally, Xigbar is pretty confident and careful - you leaving him is not a possibility, because he's worked very hard in the shadows to ensure that you love him, not as much as he loves you, of course, but close enough. Generally, he likes to make you feel special, like you were the one to crack the mystery of the millennium and figure out his secrets. But one thing Xigbar always neglects is that small, terrible thought that you don't know him at all - because he doesn't know himself.

This stems from centuries of changing identities and bodies, leftover issues that he outlived lifetimes ago, now rearing their ugly little heads whenever he shares a quiet moment with you. When both of you sit, comfortably nestled into each other. Or when he rests his head on your lap, your hand on his hair while you pay attention to something else. Xigbar wonders if you would've loved him at his most vulnerable, back when he was just Luxu. And because Xigbar can't help but stir the pot, there's a small chance that he confesses to everything he's done to make you love him, curious about your reaction.

He's not scared of the possibility of you hating him, he's just curious, staring at you with slightly wide, golden eyes. Like he just confessed to eating the last sea salt ice-cream in the fridge that you bought specifically for yourself. He won't be mad if you start fearing and pushing him away. And he won't start celebrating or acting smug if you, somehow, accept all the horrible things he's confessing to, that you still love him regardless of it all. It's unnerving, a perfect display of what centuries of loss have done to him. The closest one can get to see what remains of Luxu under all these layers. You have to understand that Xigbar has cheated death, the one universal truth in this world and all others, he manipulates space because the concept of permanence is a joke to him - so he can just make you love him again, in this life or the next one.

[ask-good-cop-bad-cop]

for the writing rec thingy, maybe something having to do with how special days were handled when they were younger? Considering they both have very different ideas on social interaction, and ma and pa cop loving them very much, how would they compromise? (Sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😅)

Ma sighed as she watched her boys slouched on the couch watching cartoons. Yet another year where not a single invitation had been responded to. Liam tried to put up an act, pretend like it didn't bother him, but Ma knew better. It hurt them both that no one wanted to be their friend. Pa wrapped an arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

"Thoughts?" He asked.

"I don't know, dear... It just breaks my heart. They're good boys, they don't deserve this... If I could make friends for them, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"I know you would, darling. I would too. Unfortunately that's beyond our ability, so we need to figure something else out to cheer them up."

Ma sighed and tried to think. An idea occurred to her. It was still pretty early in the day... "The Halloween Festival in Bricksburg might be a good place to start. That should give them the chance to hang out with other kids their age that don't already have a bias against them. And then we can take them out for cake and ice cream after."

The boys seemed to perk up a little once the idea was pitched to them. Liam was still wary, but warmed up to it once he realized these kids would be complete strangers. They wouldn't already have it in their heads to be cruel just because they were different. With any luck, they never would. Garrett especially was thrilled with the idea of going to a festival. They had been to several small "festivals" in their little town, but the one in the city was sure to be so much bigger!

Minds made up, they pulled on their coat and followed their parents to the car. It was along drive to get to the city, more than half an hour. They spent the time holding silent conversations in their mind, as they had recently discovered they could.

"Do you think they'll have lots of games there??"

"Probably, yeah. Lots of food too. Maybe some rides."

"Mom? Will they have rides there?"

Ma smiled. "I'm sure they will, dear."

Garrett's eyes widened as they finally entered the city, and he nearly had his nose pressed to the window as he tried to take in all the sights. There was an awful lot of people around too. Pa muttered to himself as he tried to find a place to park. the parking lot was packed full of so many cars. After driving around for a few more minutes, he finally found a spot.

"Hold onto my hand, boys." Ma told them. "The fairgrounds are big, and with so many people it's easy to get lost." Liam dutifully took their mother's hand and held on tight.

His eyes went wide as he looked up to take in the sight before them. There was a fence all around the fairgrounds to keep people from getting in without tickets, but he could indeed see a number of carnival rides rising up over the top of it. Garrett's excitement was almost overwhelming. "Mom! Mom they have a roller coaster!"

Pa chuckled softly. "I guess we know what we're doing first, then. Sit tight boys, I have to go get our tickets." Liam nodded eagerly.

They spent the day dragging their parents all over the fairgrounds, riding the rides, playing the games, trying new foods, and just taking in all the sights and sounds. They even managed to get along with a few of the other kids there, happily playing team games together.

By supper time, their energy was waning. Pa smiled to himself and lifted them into his arms as they left the festival. By the time they reached the car again, they were out cold.

"They might not be as excited for this next year." Ma pointed out as Pa carefully buckled them into the back seat.

"I know. But we've got a year to figure out a new game plan. I'm just glad this worked out."

[anarchistauthor]

The Junk I Write

I'm an author who wears many hats, I'd say. I've got four books, two of which are very SPN-like, since they star a vampire who eventually works her way up to becoming the goddess of hell (it's complicated), one of which is a fairly conventional superhero story starring a bunch of queer communists, and a medieval fantasy book about people who turn into weapons and kill shit. And that's just my *finished* works.

In the drafts are sequels to all three of those series, a magic school thing I'm working out, a body-horror book about a girl turning into a monster like The Thing and using that power to murder the ones who did that to her, a spy thriller which (no joke) was inspired by Game of Thrones, something I call a "mecha western" which I think describes it better than I could put into words here, and more fanfiction than I know what to do with. And, like always, ideas keep coming to me. (I have ADHD)

So here's the thing: Basically anything I write is derivative in some way. Basically anything ANYONE writes is derivative in some way. If you read my books, and you've also enjoyed the same kinds of media that I have, it won't be hard to pick up their scent. Several major characters in my works got their start in trashy fanfiction which sits on my Google drive and only a handful of people get to actually read. That doesn't mean my novels are based on those fanfictions, and in fact, they have very little to do with the source material other than surface similarities. My novels are original, whether you believe it or not.

Take, for instance, the newest thing I've been writing, which I shall here codename "Greek Gods Thingy." GGT is not a book about actual Greek gods, but about a pantheon I made up based on some archetypes. There's a god of the sky, of the sea, of war, all that good stuff, but they're not the same as their equivalents in any particular real-world pantheon. And, no, this is not the part that's related to my fanfiction.

GGT's protagonist, a young lesbian called Ember, is chosen by one of the gods to do his bidding, and that's basically the plot, whatever. I actually tried to write this thing like a year ago, but I couldn't really pull it together. It felt off, I wasn't vibing with the characters, and in general I was doing kind of a crappy job, only ended up writing like 3500 words. And then, recently, I got the idea to cut and paste a character from one of my fanfictions onto Ember. I'm not gonna say what series it was a fanfic of, but it will be pretty obvious if you've seen the show and pay attention to Ember's mother in particular.

But here's the thing: The more I write it, the less copied it is. It's a completely different setting, different plot, different everything, just with the main character starting from a similar place in her life. I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but when I make an OC for a fanfic, I'm not doing it to self-insert or whatever, I'm crafting a person I love, who I love writing about. And then, what almost always happens is that I say, "Sucks that this character is stuck in a world I don't have ownership of," and then I end up making my own shit for them. That's basically what my medieval book was, too.

That doesn't mean the original work is a copy of the fanfic. If anything, it's freeing great characters, allowing them to spread their wings and prove their right to exist in something real. That's what Ember's done. And genuinely, I can't wait for this book (or any of the rest of them) to be out, so I can share my love for these babies with the world, and hopefully you all love them too. And, frankly...the idea of """real""" authors being judgmental of fanfiction is absurd to me. Fanfic makes writing better, it expands a person's voice and in many cases gets them into writing way before they have enough confidence to try publishing a novel.

Yes. Write that garbage fic of yours. Polish it, sweat over it, let it keep you up at night because you want it to be perfect. It might show you that you have it in you to write something your own. Or, maybe not. That's fine too. Either way, flexing your creativity is always a good thing.

Unless you're a nazi or some shit.

[jadejetts]

just got these zurg figures as a late christmas present!! :D now. i know what ur thinking. "why would you get a used one with a detached tube" because 1. the one disney currently sells strangely omits the "i am your father" lines from the sound chip, 2. it came with a couple of figures from 1999 which are awesome in their own right, 3. i wanna mod him anyway!! ive got a few things planned to make him more movie accurate- i'll put it under a read more here!

so, what i've got lined up is: - accurate mouth lights by chickenhaunt!! this is the one mod i'm doing For Sure. tl;dr its just one yellow light in the mouth normally, this'll give him that sliding effect from the film back - ball joints for the arms and wrists! i haven't seen anyone do this with zurg? but there's tons of people who've done it for buzz and i assume it'll be roughly the same process if not easier since there's no electronics in zurg's arms - something that nobody has either figured out or has shown off publicly- Making the gun actually fire. (absolutely getting help from my dad on this one if he's free, this is uncharted territory and will be much more of an experimental process than the others) i've also got a few more mods that are more of a Maybe than an absolutely, because they're harder in their own ways: - an accurate Z emblem! not only is there no case of a full scale zurg with an accurate emblem as far as i know, there also isn't a model or texture in any game that i could've used to make a model to print for, since either they're the inaccurate jagged emblem or so low resolution it's hard to make out and reconstruct from- luckily, this image of a lego piece with an accurate emblem has a good enough resolution to maybe build a model out of- the 'hard' part comes with actually making the emblem, as it's transparent plastic. we do have a 3d printer at home, but it's not the best by any means?? and i haven't fully looked into if transparent filament is any good or not, or if our 3d printer can print at the size needed and not look rounded or blobby - zurg vision!! this is something people have done before (even the mouth lights guy did it), but i feel it's much harder of a mod to pull off than any of the others since it's right where a screw would be, and there isn't much documentation on how either of the people who did this mod pulled it off - more articulation in the head! this one i'll need to learn more about how this toy's neck area is built to figure out, but hopefully the end product will be a head that can tilt in just about every position except rotating backwards - adjustable shoulder pads! like the zurg sold by revoltech :] no idea how feasible this would be, since i've never seen this mod idea done or even brought up - a transparent red backpack button with light! once again, transparent plastic, but this time hollow and housing an electronic light, which that second part is a bit of a challenge to hide for something that isn't already wired up to the toy itself - accurate hands?? this figure does the common pointer-finger and three-finger molds that a lot of toys use, so i'd like to see if i could maybe print something out that could be way better (and not as loose!!!!) - forearm chrome paint???? i have zero experience with painting stuff at all, so no idea if this'll go through- but it'd be how itd look in the films!!

and a couple of bonus mod ideas, just for my own satisfaction: - a better speaker?? dunno if the audio stored in the toy would benefit from this, but if it does, it'll be all the better for it - cleaning up youtube audio of zurg's lines in astro blasters, and maybe adding them to the sound chip thingy????? i have no idea how sound works in these toys, so maybe adding new sounds is impossible- but it'd be neat if that weren't the case!!

either way!! this'll be the first time i've ever done something like this- i'm probably just gonna set up the mouth lights and move on, but it's nice to have a list of to-dos in case i do feel up for more

[nikatyler]

Zeph 1.0 ✨

Surprise. I wanna archive my very first bg3 run over here also, because it's pain in the ass to revisit it on twitter. I didn't quite live tweet this one, but I tweeted it a bunch too. The usual applies, spoilers are inevitable*, do with that what you want, and as per usual, if you haven't played this game yet: Go. Play. It. NOW. 😡

*but also this one is wayyyy less spoilery than my livetweeting of later runs haha

So let's go back to the beginning, March 7. Little Nika had no idea she's about to unleash her greatest hyperfixation since her Winx Club days.

I'm feeling like. Proper shy about this game 💀 It's just a game these people are fake no need to feel shy you'll hurt no one's feelings dammit

(it's still installing btw, because apparently my internet hates me today of all days)

Still about 80 minutes to go 💀 my own stupid ass anxiety will kill me before that

(x)

nice

(x)

FIVE MINUTES UNTIL I LOSE THE LAST SHRED OF MY SANITY BESTIES

(x)

friends i'm too shy to click the play button

(x)

See this is why I have zero friends because I'm too intimidated to even open a game with people who DON'T ACTUALLY EXIST alright alright i'll go do it you know i want to and i know i want to but i'm gonna sit here blushing like a fool the entire time

I also need to yell before I do a new thing

I'm in

Being a complicated asexual means I have no ducking idea if I want it or not Eh we're going with it

Yes I suppose this will now be the live thread of my initial thoughts and shenanigans, welcome welcome, or use that cute little mute button if you don't care ✨

I can already tell I'll have only two facial expressions playing this game: 👁️👄👁️ and 👁️🫦👁️

That was some fucked up asmr right there in the beginning. 10/10

Fuck it whomst do we create now chat Do we do it Do I do that thing we talked about

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of ways I could go about this, I think I'll create a random character at first and then when I play some other time I'll bring my boi in when I know better what to do and how 🫣

Girl help I don't know what kind of character I want to play with

As someone who dropped out of university I kinda feel like I need to have this hair 💀

them need a name (idk why i said it like that but i'm keeping it my brain is mush ok)

aintnoway it's been 15 minutes and i still haven't picked a name, am i possibly overthinking this? does anyone get the vibe that i'm overthinking this because i certainly feel like there may be a chance that i'm overthinking this

BUT I AM HAVING FUN I PROMISE

I'm still playing I just have nothing to say, I'm learning, and I'm waiting to meet you know who

Here we go 😗

Had dinner irl and I feel like I should take a break but so far I'm loving this! I'm a bit dumb but eh we'll get there. Would love to try out the multiplayer at some point (but don't count on it, I say that now and then I'll be too anxious to play with you 💀)

(x)

I just realized my guy Zeph (they/them) looks like a yassified Ladislaus the Posthumous and idk what to do with that information

here's a slightly better look at my guy. do i need to say i'd die for them

(x)

babes the minecraft hole will be abandoned for another game i'm afraid

(x)

That little thingy that tells you the character approves will ruin my life. Pathological people-pleaser reporting for duty 🫡

(x)

Y'all weren't lying this game is addicting

(x)

i'm so fucking weak already he just lays there like that and i fgjklsdfsjkljdsf thoughts i will not handle this game well

(x)

i'm so schoolgirl with a crush coded at the moment it's so embarrassing

(x)

I haven't played bg3 since before lunch

Midnight and I still haven't played it's been like almost 12 hours at this point I'm completely normal abt this

I'm too tired but I want to play but it would be a bad idea but I mean I'm dumb at this game anyway so what's the harm but I don't want to mess up but ok bed first ig

(x)

did someone ask for homemade niche memes that only apply to me

(he would get it though)

wait that picture is even funnier than i intended for it to be bc like this happened canonically in the nsb legacy, he burned because i was too busy doing something else

(x)

I killed my character 💀 whoopsie it's reload time sorry bud

(x)

Teehee won a battle and knew what I was doing most of the time, maybe I'm getting better at this

I'll go put some lasagna in the oven and continue playing

(x)

Chanting "eat shit, eat shit, eat shit" in a very squeaky voice every time an enemy goes down

(x)

all too well you say?? wind in my hair i was there i remember it all too well?? did you leave your scarf at his sister's house???

(x)

lemme tell you how to make my simple bi ass happy

i'm bi first and people pleaser second. or vice versa. dunno

(x)

Oh yissss the bite scene here we go :3

(x)

oh don't you worry i will so be on my vigilante shit for you

(x)

Not to be weird again but this game is unlocking emotions I didn't know I had

(x)

You know how I thought I was getting better 💀 yeah nvm it's reload after reload today 💀

(x)

Oop I'm already on 14 hours 🫢

(x)

Okay I'm gonna play for just like five minutes and then go to bed If I'm still online at 2am you're allowed to yell at me

lord save me I said five minutes

I'm showing great restraint right now

(x)

Oh something is happening ohhh something is happening can my laptop catch up and stop lagging pls

(x)

You know it's gonna be so jover for me and I'm gonna be so beyond saving when I start putting together detailed information about my boi Zeph

(they/them btw, I call them boi or bud but in a nonbinary way)

Also can't decide what Zeph is short for. Was their deadname Joseph and they kept just half of it? Is their full first name Zephyros or something? What's their full full name? See it starts with little things like this but give me an hour and I'll have their full history 💀

(x)

Big spiders...big fucking spiders ;----;

(x)

hELLO

fuck that's not the best screenshot i could've taken 💀 I PANICKED OKAY

live nika reaction

Why do I get the feeling *everybody* wants to have fun with me

i didn't click it yet guys i'm 💀💀💀

so do i torture myself and leave it to tomorrow or do i go back in the game now? 👀

Fuck it let's go asexuality leaving my body as we speak

Oh boy

👁️👄👁️ gnight

(x)

My sibling: *sends me a picture of their blorbo* Me: THAT'S NEAT, ALSO I F🤭CKED MY BLORBO YESTERDAY

And yes, those are our first messages today. No "good morning, have a nice day", more like "so this fictional man dammit", straight to the point 😌

Asking the real questions (abt their blorbo)

(x)

Having an Annabeth Chase in Mark of Athena moment (and I don't mean that I'm doing something smart, I mean there's spiders)

FUCK YEAHHHHH WE WON (and almost died) (and in Zeph's case literally died) (but we're so back) (seriously though why do I always manage to kill just my character) (this was the worst battle I hate spiders I hate spiders so much)

I'm still shaking 😭

Having a real dummy day, besides the spider fight I'm not doing well 💀

nvm we got the pwetty book, it only took me like an hour to get here, it's fine😂

the blood, i like it 😌😏

(x)

Oop I've got over 24 hours in the game already 🤭

btw I don't think I ever told you, my savefile name is "girl help"

Also I just quickly hopped in again now but I didn't really do much, I'm too tired to think at this point, I'll probably go to bed soon. I thought I figured something but nah not really and then I accidentally crashed the game oops 💀 my bad

(x)

bi panic intensifies

(x)

Something about me forgetting there could be traps and letting Zeph run straight through them over and over again…no wonder they're always on the verge of death 😭🤣

(x)

um yeah i guess we weren't supposed to do that huh 💀

Don't worry, I reloaded 💀

(x)

I miss my boi Zeph I wish I could be playing rn

They are so getting a backstory and like actual development once I get more into the lore and everything, just watch. And then we'll come full circle and I'll create them in ts4

(x)

we are here

sorry not sorry but also occasionally i'm too self aware so i will be sorry but most of the time i will just not be sorry. sorry about that. but actually not sorry. sorry --

(x)

[thenewfuture]

Blah blah blah I wanna help my cousin this, I wanna help Monaca that. If your words are genuine why not joined despair Miaya? It could be fun, plus I don't think you'll win her over by apealing to her "morals" is gonna help you.

Yeah, right? You're basically already there at this point.

Back up a minute. You said something about "my" method of brainwashing?

Yeah with your thingie. The...New Universe Simulation or whatever?

That's not true at all...! The Neo World Program doesn't brainwash people, it undoes brainwashing!

Hmmm, are you sure? Brainwashing in its simplest terms, is making someone change their personality to your liking. And isn't that what you did to the Remnants? You didn't like them being Despair so you changed them?

What?! You have no idea what you're talking about! It was designed as a psychotherapeutic simulator to undo trauma and triggering memories for the users! That's exactly why we used it on the Remnants of Despair!

.....Okay Auntie, let's play a little game here.

Let's say for instance, the Remnants of Despair weren't brainwashed. And that Big Sis Junko just merely...talked them into becoming the big bad terrorists you know them as today. Would you still use the program for them anyway?

Well....yes, but-

But why? They're not under some mind control or order from others. They would be fully cognizant of their actions. Morals and all. There'd be no way to know for certain what those guys would be thinking.

To that end, let's go further. Who would you use this on? Serial killers? Predators? Embezzlers? Gang members? Other terrorists? Where does it end?

You'd be replacing other people's already preconception of ideals and making them have new ones to better fit your image! See? Brainwashing! Plain and simple~

They have a term for this sort of thing. I think it's called...Death of Personality.

And I get a feeling, you'd want to use this on me too, huh? Riiiiiight?

Wh-What?!

Mhmm, mhmm!~ That's why you're so adamant about getting me on your side. So you can shove me in a pod and make little old Monaca a "proper" little girl. My my, even you want to use Monaca too for your own purposes, Auntie!~

Listen to yourself, that is absurd! I...would never....do something like that to you-

So say it.

!

Go ahead. Say you never had the thought. Say you'd tell me everything about my past life, and all about Big Sis Junko in that case. Go on. Lie to my face.

I.....I wouldn't.....

...........

I.....I'd....n-never....

......

.......

........

Uuuuuh-huh! Just what I thought. Adults are all the same! Only interested in what they want and what better suits them!

Monaca: Ahahahahahaha!

[enne-uni]

Insert writeblr introduction here

Hi. Why are you here (jk thanks for being here). This post gets somewhat frequent updates.

About me

-You’ll find me as Willowquin or EnneUni. You may call me Willow or Enne. (She/her, any)

-Perfectionist in many things

-Gen Z

-From Finland! (timezone is EET or EEST in summer)

-Other interests than writing include flower symbolism, languages, and gaming

-I do not tolerate transphobia, racism, ableism, etc. Free Palestine!

-Should add: I myself do not ship any ‘proships’, but I don’t have it against them. That technically makes me a proshipper.

-Feel free to reach out and chat, even if you don't know me <3

About the blog

-Reblog whatever I feel like reblogging

-My own writing is with the tag #my writing

-Poems with #poems

-My random troubles with writing are with #writing shenanigans

-Open to asks and tags in games and everything else, though lately I've been too lazy to actually do them (but don't let that stop you)

-DMs are completely fine, too

About my writing (under the cut)

-Mostly fanfiction. Sometimes original works, although most of those are, ahem, on hold. Sometimes poems for fun.

-Main original project is a steampunk airship thingy-wingy which is in it’s planning phase (more about it below).

-Fandoms I write for include: Ace Attorney, Moriarty the Patriot, Attack on Titan, Nimona, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Hazbin Hotel (red flag; I know)

-Fandoms I am planning to write for include: SK8 the Infinity, Goblin Slayer, Cyberpunk (2077 or Edgerunners)

-Most of those are probably red flags actually.

-Do still talk to me about any aforementioned fandoms if you feel like it. I rarely interact with other enjoyers of the same thing.

-Also I could take requests for writing. I’ve never done any before but I don’t see why not.

Some WIPs below, you may ask about more

1. Lost opportunities

Ace Attorney Wrightworth fanfic. Takes place during the trilogy and follows Edgeworth’s POV as he tries to make peace with the fact that he has Hanahaki disease because of a ~certain defence attorney~. His platonic relationships are a big part of this, too.

On my Ao3 2. Era of Grey Skies

Original work, created with my little sister. It doesn't have a plot yet... but if I had to summarise it in some way, I'd say it's a steampunk-airship-pirate-adventure with many characters.

It has a slightly better own intro post in this link here!

Also: I have a Hazbin Hotel sideblog here in this link. Because I don’t think a lot of people like that show (so now I’m not putting it on anyone’s dash) and also because I just felt like it. It’s rly empty tho.