#people who look pissed but they're just thinking really hard...so valid

[bumblingbabooshka]

Are T’Pel and T’Pela ok with Tuvok smooching all these other people on voyager?? Is he hurting his two beautiful wives???? I simply MUST know, for my own mental peace

His two beautiful wives are taking inspiration.

[pineappleciders]

Could we get headcanons for how would it be being Team Craig beloved adopted child? Like- idk- reader is this sweet kid who wants everyone to be happy and then Craig and Those guys are like- the protective parents while Clyde is reader's adorkable big brother 😱

craig and those guys adopting a sweet reader who acts like their kid/little sibling; platonic headcanons

includes: craig, clyde, tolkien, jimmy, and tweek

A/N: i know tweek technically isn't apart of catg, but since he often is in fanon i decided to add him!! people r always debating whether jimmy or tweek is in craigs gang but why not both!!!!!!

personally i see tweek as the butters of catg. like he's there sometimes but not all the time ykwim

whenever craig and tweek get into a dispute it's like watching your parents argue

despite you being the same age as tolkien, your parents often leave you with him as your babysitter (your parents love him to death) and you two always end up playing games and eating snacks

they're kind of. confused about you. like craig might treat you like butters at first but gets berated by the rest for it once they all realized ur actually cool and not stuck-up

jimmy ruffles your hair and treats you like you're his little sibling, and goes 'oooooo' and asks constant questions if you have a crush on someone

if you're shorter than tweek he leans on your shoulder or head, because he knows it pisses you off. then he giggles deviously about it

craig is kind of. always trying to get your evil side out. like he's completely convinced you're not 100% angel and he tries to annoy you to get you to get angry

u and clyde hang out a lot. like you're always at each other's houses, people at school started to actually think you two were related

lots of video game nights. you all come to someones house (usually tolkiens because he's loaded) and play video games on the couch and in his room all night long. also lots of sleepovers

i feel like when ur choosing teams for a sport or a game, some of them are begging for you on their team and some of them are begging that you aren't on their team

jimmy, tolkien, and clyde want u on their team. craig does not. he doesn't because he thinks u suck (he doesn't mean it, he just wants to be a dick. unless you actually do suck)

with tweek it depends. like he might agree with craig and he might not. it really depends on what the thing you're doing is

clyde leans on your shoulder when you two are standing in the halls with a smug look on his face (he wants to embarrass you)

tolkien (and sometimes jimmy) always help you with studying and homework. like they'll teach you the entire subject and make sure you're prepared for the test

jimmy cracks (un)funny jokes to embarrass you in front of your friends

they get all pissy if someones annoying you. craig in particular is not afraid to get physical if you're getting bullied or something. he'll never admit it though

tweek likes to annoy you, but he's also probably one of the more sentimental ones (next to tolkien and jimmy). like he'll be there for you emotionally and stuff, even though he isn't always the best with feelings

jimmy is very encouraging. like if you're down or anxious about something he'll listen intently and give you the most motivational pep talk you've ever heard. he cares a lot and shows it with quality time and just being there!!!

tolkien is very good at listening. he might not understand everything you're going through, but he tries very hard to hear you out and give advice. he also reassures you that he's always there for you

craig isn't the best at showing his own emotions in the first place, so he's kinda. panicky if you're sad. he's learned a lot from tweek though, and will listen closely and try to validate what you say.

clyde doesn't always understand, but he tries. he'll listen to you talk and gives shitty advice, and is generally kinda knuckle-headed. he genuinely cares though

craig tells you about his silly little interests, and like forces you to play with stripe. he also rants to you about space and shit and you always fall asleep to it

whenever everyone falls asleep in the living room while playing video games, you're the one left awake, and you can't help but feel immense happiness at how peaceful they look.

[yesterdayiwrote]

Ok I don’t really have a lot of proof to back any of this up but I feel like there’s something going on with George behind the scenes ? He doesn’t seem as active on social media lately , and when he is it’s always just about work , and again I don’t really known why but I get this feeling like whenever I see him in interviews during the race weekends he seems very PR than normal as if he’s got a wall up ? He just doesn’t seem as relaxed and happy as normal to me . Maybe I’m just imagining it but I don’t know if the Mercedes pressure behind the scenes is getting to him or if there’s something else ..

Hmmm, honestly, I don't know and George especially is one of the more private drivers about what's going on in his life so its even harder to judge.

I would say the social media thing has been the case for a while now, and if you see tye shit the poor guy gets everytime he posts anything, I don't think it's hard to see why he might be pulling back from using it even more, even via a social media manager because its not nice for anyone to have to trawl through the stuff that gets put in his comments without a second thought.

I also think people have this weird misconception that just because a driver isn't active online like you or I, that they don't know what's getting said about them, when in reality they have people whose entire job it is to tell them what kind of impression they're making online and what people's perceptions of them are. I'm sure hearing all the unhinged bullshit that people keep creating about him is taking its toll on the poor guy. I might be biased because I'm a fan, but the amount of unwarranted negative crap that's posted online about this guy recently is genuinely unhealthy and it's at a sustained level.

If he's deemed to have caused a crash, he's harassed, if he's deemed to have been the wronged party in a crash, he's harassed. If he beats his teammate, he gets abuse, if he gets beaten by his teammate, he gets abuse. Good race, he's lucky, bad race, he's washed. If he keeps it bottled up, he's he's PR robot, if he shows his human side, he's overreacting and too emotional... and that's before you factor in the people who genuinely believe he's sleeping with his boss, the people who think he for some reason singlehandedly engineered Mercedes bad run of cars, and the people who think he has some unspecified vendetta against the guy he can't speak highly enough of at any given opportunity. Oh and the people who think it's okay to film him taking a piss and post it online to joke about. It must be genuinely exhausting to be George right now, especially as a guy who's been quite honest about the fact that he tries really hard to not upset people or cause offence. Even breathing seems to set people off these days.

Then there's the fact that the car sucks yet again. People seem to think this only bothers one driver, but I'm sure George is equally as pissed that he waited so long, put his trust and patience with Merc and this is how they've repaid him. He's barely had a chance to win six races with them, let alone six WDC.

His teammate has decided to leave and somehow in the crossfire, he's looking like he could end up losing his own seat in the mess to replace him for no valid reason whatsoever. I'm sure he's absolutely livid, as any driver would be.

He looks completely jet lagged, because he's been flying back between races which doesn't help. It also looks like he flew into Japan quite late which really wouldn't have helped matters either. He's burning the candle at both ends, under immense stress and pressure... honestly, he probably isn't very relaxed and happy right now.

I hope he starts to have some good fortune soon. I really feel for the guy, and the fact a bunch of armchair critics seem to have decided that he somehow deserves all this, for committing the cardinal sin of believing in himself, makes it even harder to really wrap your head around. As I said the other day, he's inexplicably become the bête noire du jour in online spaces, and I'm sure that feels like utter shit when it's not really identifiably clear what you've done to trigger it?

[sandorsubs]

hi an anon here, im just feeling overwhelmed and healing since i have so many emotional abuse interaction with ppl outside, it kind offended and im internalizing it and worrying my trauma will pop up when im manifesting, cause till today i feel vulnerable how they look at me, like i dont do anything to ppl and they hate and piss off to me, im a very spiritual person and its obviously i tend to be sensitive, im also insecure and worried if i have a bad energy or its just a reflection of their bad energy.

hi there anon. i don't think you have bad energy first of all. being a spiritual person can be tiring sometimes. i kinda felt that you are an empath. so you need to protect your energy. carrying our past is so tiring when it's mixed with our old harmful habits. for example you may realize you have same pattern in relationships because of your previous experiences. but you are not stuck in past even if it feels like it. according to your assumptions you may still attract negative people around you. i'll listen things you may want to be interested in because i've been there, i am still healing. most important thing is your will to heal. since you have that i hope you find this useful.

of course i will suggest therapy first because it's mind opening and makes us realize a lot. all healing process is like breaking a wrong healed bone to make it heal better again. but don't condition yourself it'll be hard or scary. it's fresh breath seriously.

you are the most important person in your life. this is a realization should hit somewhere in your life. it's cheesy to read it on self-motivation pages ik. don't just affirm but think about it. when a people pleaser say yes to something they don't want, who experience the discomfort? they do. being rejected isn't worse than discomfort. every grown up person should deal with rejection. but a people pleaser would rather feel discomfort than making someone feel rejected. whose team are you on? always check you feel good, comfortable and respected when you are with people. if you completely focus on other people's wants and opinions, you'll neglect yourself. but your life comes first.

as a previous people pleaser i used to imagine myself as someone else (since i am kinder to strangers) to be able to help myself. but do i bully other people? no. i didn't even write a single hate message in my life but oh the things i told myself...to the mirror. then i realized "i'm not surprised why i hate myself" because i treat myself very shitty. i neglect her, i shut her down, i bully her, i reject her requests. but i expect to be happy. how? according to external validation but it's sooo temporary if you don't love yourself. you experience this life yourself, you should love yourself most because they are always with you. please practice self love, external validation is out. it makes you weak and open to manipulation.

who can tell you who you are? you have been your own best friend from the start. you should know everything about yourself. but do you? do you really think you have bad energy? write down about yourself. your life, things you are proud of, your dislikes. this sounds so basic and you may struggle first but i promise you'll amaze yourself. don't be humble just be honest. even our families says horrible things to us sometimes. we think they are right just because it's family and they're close bla bla. but you can stop and not accept what they say. because you know yourself better than anyone. no one can make you doubt.

about past traumas. write everything down. literally every single thing you are offended by, every person that hurt you. now since you love yourself and know yourself, trust me you'll have a different perception. you'll know why you acted like that, why you said that and all of your experiences will make sense. because we get the damage and since we couldn't heal from it we still think it's our fault and feeling ashamed of our trauma. how is this fair? i am not a professional and i don't know what kind of traumas you have but get help, heal and build your trust in yourself again. would you let someone you love and know get hurt in front of you? no, since you build a healthy relationship with yourself you won't let that happen.

sometimes we forget who "people" are. you said you get hate for no reason. why do you care? look who is giving you the hate. a hater. i wouldn't be friends with a hater, i wouldn't even look at their face, they don't deserve to talk to me. i wouldn't let them approach to my kids. they just need to heal and stop having a ugly personality. because we've also been through shit and we don't have ugly personalities. sadly we can't stop haters from talking and reaching out but we can ignore. before directly accepting what they say, look where it comes from. i know it's hard but look at their faces carefully, they are not even aware of their toxicity. they are far from healing and being happy. they want to see you doing bad stuff only to tell themselves "oh great i'm not the only bad person". but you don't and this makes them crazier.

you have the formula. self love+knowing yourself+trust= self worth. past doesn't matter, what people says about you doesn't matter. focus on what you want and create that time for yourself to write and ask questions. like you get to know yourself from start. be clear about your manifestations and there is nothing to be afraid of

[zeroducks-2]

I keep encountering antis in the wild so far my favorite one has been the one who was frothing over Jaytim shippers. "Just because they're not technically brothers"!

Friend they're not technically nor non-technically brothers. They weren't raised together. They don't have a brother dynamic.

"It's different from DickBabs and TimSteph!" Not really! You're just cherrypicking!

90% of antis use anti rhetoric to justify why their ship is better/more valid than another, not because they really care about things they deem immoral or whatever, and I think a lot of Fandom Discourse tends to miss that by a long shot.

Like more often than not it's just bitches digging for reasons why their OTP is the only ship that can be shipped, therefore if you ship something else You're Wrong and the ship you ship shouldn't even exist. They use arguments on morality and such because they're hard to argue with - lots of folks don't know what to say when they're faced with "don't ship X and Y cause it's harmful and abusive!", "you're hurting victims of SA and grooming by shipping X and Y!" - and what happens is that they get scared out of the ships/topics they like and stop engaging actively with fanworks. Sometimes they rationally or subconsciously realize that it works, so they end up even adopting the same rhetoric as it's really fucking convenient: being on the moral high horse is delicious because people feel like it automatically puts them in the category of the good guys, therefore everyone else is a bad guy and they can harass them and send them death threats, even if it's just about shipping fictional characters.

I've seen this happen in basically every single fandom I've been in since I was 12 (and I am Not Young™), and I've seen the most unexpected people use anti rhetoric while not being antis themselves, or even labeling themselves as proshippers, but they would still use anti arguments to "legitimize" their ship and claim how and why it was better than others in the same fandom. Instead of just... saying that one ship in particular is not for them. Tbh lately I'm only trusting multi-shippers not to pull anti bullshit out of their ass, and this niche of the DC fandom is really a safe haven. But I digress.

One of the things that really pisses me off the most is the rampant homophobia. Going by generic anti logic Jaydick is incest, but Dickbabs isn't. Jaytim is incest, Timsteph isn't. Brudick, Brujay, Brutim are all incestuous ships - except Bruce and Barbara isn't. The het ship is fine would you look at that. Childhood friends to lovers is alright with pop culture as long as it's a man and a woman, because if it's two men they'll immediately scream incest and abuse (lumping them together too, while they're also not the same thing ffs). Because hiding behind anti mentality and purity culture there's the big bad monster of queerphobia, which shows its ugly face the moment you take a peek below the surface.

And since I feel like this isn't being said enough. Dick and Jason ARE NOT BROTHERS. Neither are Dick and Tim, or Dick and Damian, Jason and Damian, Jason and Tim, I could go on. These people are not related, not by blood or legally, not in any way that matters and would make it incest. They're a legacy of characters who wear the same cowl for narrative reasons, and THAT'S IT.

Calling Jaydick "incest" irks me to no freaking end because I LOVE incest ships, I am DOWN BAD for them, and this one ain't it chief. They're not related. They didn't grow up together. They don't share any brotherly bond except a vague "brothers in arms" kinda thing. People decided this at some point in order to have an argument why their plastic prepackaged het ships were better than the Bad Abusive (gay) ones, because they're fucking homophobes, and that is about it.

And that's what I really want to say to all the young, queer antis that parrot the terfs and homophobes that pushed them in that direction. They are taking away a space that is YOURS TOO. They fucking HATE YOU. They hate you because you're queer, gay, bi, pan, ace, trans, nonbinary, a woman, even just a teen. Purity culture and anti mentality is how they keep you under control, tied to their morality leash and making life miserable to every other queer person that refuses to conform and refuses to shut up and to stop enjoying fiction for the harmless, but also valuable thing that it is.

[artekai]

tag game (Horizon)

Thanks @nerd-artist for tagging me!! I am flattered :3

1. ride or die ship (your otp): GAIA/Lis ❤️ I felt so validated when Sylens said the "two moms" thing, you have no idea.

2. most annoying ship: I plead the fifth

3. second favourite ship: Erevad! I never considered them until I read a really good fic about them and I was sold lol.

4. favourite platonic relationship: Hmm 🤔 I really enjoy Aloy & Sylens :D I missed him a lot in HFW (given he wasn't in our Focus any longer). mlm-wlw hostility real. Also, Aloy & Gildun and Aloy & Morlund are both very sweet but I suppose they have similar vibes lol.

5. underrated ship: Any of the ones I mentioned lol, I feel like they don't get as much love as others, haha. Which is understandable because it makes sense to gravitate more towards the GAIA gang! But other than that 🤔 I think Aloy/Zo and Aloy/Alva are pretty cute and underrated, even if I don't exactly ship them myself c:

6. overrated ship: I plead the fifth

7. one thing i would change in canon: *side eyes HFW hard*

Just one thing, though? I'd have to concur with most of the people I've seen do this tag game so far and say it's Varl's death. I'm pissed about that.

8. something canon did right: Other people have also mentioned it before me, but I think Horizon's writing excels at the datapoints. Just slowly having to figure out the past, putting the pieces together, getting glimpses of the tragedies (and the little joys) that once happened in those places, filling in the blanks... The environmental storytelling is amazing 👌. The intrigue, the curiosity, the mystery. It really scratches the urge to explore abandoned places and imagine what it was life was like for the people who once lived in them, so close yet so far away. HZD really did it well with the Zero Dawn facilities and I think HFW captured that magic again with Thebes. I crave more of that.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: I'm not sure I can say anything I make is "for the fandom" since I only make OC stuff 😭 Believe me, I want to be more integrated in the fandom, but not as much as I want to focus on the blorbos from my brain 😔

I guess I can mention To Err is Human, my vampire AU fic, since, if all goes according to plan, that should be relatively fairly split between my OCs and canon characters. Sorry that it's taken me so long to update tho :( As for art, please look at my man :) And here he is again with my favorite Aloy I've drawn lol. I also still really like this one! Also this. And this. And this. And

I've realized I could go on all day actually so I'll stop myself now lol.

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Sylens. I love him, crimes and all.

11. the character I relate to the most and why: Beta. Something something about characters who have the same neuroses as you but in their world their neuroses are justified (sigh). And Gildun! His quest in Burning Shores really grabbed me by the throat, oof. In some ways I also relate to Aloy but not as much, I think.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: Well, I could just name the usuals, Ted Faro, the Ceo, Lansra, etc. But they're the characters we're meant to hate, so, ironically, it doesn't feel right to say I hate them, you know? I appreciate a well-crafted villain, and I definitely appreciate their role in the narrative. So, do I really hate them? Yes but actually no.

It's like that one post that goes "I don't care if a villain is redeemable or not but by god please make them interesting." I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit insane about the likes of Faro and the Ceo lol, so I'd say they did their job. I actually enjoy them being in the narrative.

As for the Zeniths... I used to just hate them straight up, not just for what we're meant to hate them, but for what they did to the narrative. I then started my quick descent into madness until I came to love to hate them lol. But I still think they deserve this spot more than anyone else given that they still make me see red half of the time.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: uhhhhh I'm not sure? Interesting to see the differences between the Persona fandom and the Horizon fandom I guess. In a lot of ways they have the same issues all fandoms have but idk, it's different. I'll leave it at that.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I don't really read as much fic as I would like to because of readers' block... But when I do, I feel like I tend to look for Beta-centric stuff. And Nemesis stuff hehe but there's very little of that. I feel like, at least in this fandom, I tend to gravitate more towards genfic instead of ship-heavy stuff. Those aren't three tags but still three things so fair enough.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: I have a few playlists but I'm not sure any songs in particular jump out to me as much as Sad Machine by Porter Robinson, which has been my quintessential Horizon song from the moment I finished HZD. It still gives me the same chills that going through ELEUTHIA-9 gave me... God, I really wish I could go back to when I was first playing it and experience that feeling again. I might actually cry listening to it now.

Tagging: @banukaihelpme, @cicadaknight, @thatpunnyperson, @snorkeldays and @hartlesshart, but absolutely no pressure to do it! I guess this is more of a [insert your fandom here] thing, so, for any other mutuals who see this, if you wanna do it for your fandom, please tag me as your tagger, I would love to see it 🙏

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

Sena?

(For an ask game that i already lost the link for because it’s been half a year. I’m so sorry anon i have no excuses haljfkal. but thank you for sending this in)

under read more bc i have word vomit disease and my answers got long. the questions are:

fave thing about them

least favourite thing about them

favourite line

brOTP

OTP

random headcanon

unpopular headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate w them

favourite picture of them

Favourite thing about them:

I had to rewrite this section bc I listed too many things LOL. I just like sena a lot..! But if I really had to pick one, I think it's contrast between his external and internal selves. He always behaves like an absolutely deranged and narcissistic person when actually. He is very critical of himself and holds onto regrets and the past a lot. Thinking about the "Yuu-kun. Makoto Yuuki-kun. I've always known." line from Starmine and the part in Lionheart where he says he doesn't want to forget Leo and their time together. He cares so much about others, so much more than he knows what to do with himself. It's very cute and sweet and incredibly sad. The tragedy of Sena Izumi is that he cares too much to ever really be normal about things. or that he never learned what to do with all that love. Anyway I wrote a 2.5k word essay on this if anyone here hasn't read it yet please do it's a whole manifesto

Least favourite thing about them:

I think he should just let Tsukasa eat his food. This goes for Arashi too, they need to let Tsukasa just eat.

Favourite line:

maybe this one in Lionheart: "Anyway, it pisses me off so I step on his [Leo's] head." you rarely get moments in enstars where you go "yep, boys will be boys" (in the positive way of the phrase). it's a funny moment and i like it.

brOTP:

nazusena!!!!! I could write a whole essay about this and i hope i do. the only reason i haven’t is bc there’s so much, idk where to start. there's a lot to unpack here but the gist of it is that sena is the only one in ! that lets nazuna be his bitchy self without any mean feelings mixed in. they know how to push each others buttons but also know which lines never to cross. they're great friends! i believe with the force of a thousand suns that they had crying sessions about their exes in tennis club.

also narusena! whenever naru reaches her limit and blows up at someone, everyone is surprised except for izumi. he knows that she's got a mean streak, but he also knows that her good girl persona is very important to her so he doesn't call her out on it - except for when he's validating her anger in the rare cases that she lets it get the better of her. (tbh thinking about it now, it's the same w nazuna - he never calls nazuna out on his bitchiness, probably because nazuna makes it super clear that he's trying very hard to be a respectable nii-chan. isn’t izumi weirdly considerate sometimes? i love him)

also the way narusena have a handle on each other is very funny. there's izumi knowing naru's worst flaws and thinking nothing about it, and then there's also pirates when naru bribed sena into acting the way she wanted him to as if he's a kindergartener.

OTP:

izuleo for the fantastic breakup vibes and longing and pining and regret and. also they're cute. also did you know that leo's family loves sena and in !! he sometimes crashes at their place instead of his own.

ritsuizu because ritsu would tease izumi to hell and back and i think it'll be funny. also did you know that when sena gets back from florence and can't sleep bc of jetlag, they just hang out and talk. this has been mentioned at least twice and it makes me soooo happy because they're 2 incredibly guarded people and now they're so comfy around each other. cries... and also ritsu looooves being pampered while izumi has mom friend disease and has to look after the people around him or he’ll die. rtmo & izumako dynamic but without all the baggage of like. yknow. izumako, and also mao being the only person who paid attention to ritsu and who sometimes doesn't really like being the object of ritsu's obsession. rtiz are made for each other their hands fit perfectly. i speak this into existence.

ritsuizuleo is also great because now izumi has 2 very troublesome boyfriends who will very happily shower izumi with affection and izumi probably spends 80% of the time with his face red but being very happy about it on the inside.

nOTP: if i've ever seen a sena ship that made me frown, i just scrubbed that from my memory. but tbh i think any sena ship would be incredibly funny bc he just cannot behave like a normal or functional person.

random headcanon:

ok this is actually from a fic i read but. izumi constantly accidentally stepping or sitting on ritsu all over the place bc ritsu just falls asleep in the weirdest places, until izumi eventually checks under the desk or kotatsu before he sits by habit. it feels very izumi for him to learn to regularly do small actions like this but never really mention it. 

unpopular opinion:

He's supposed to be pretty but I don't find him physically or aesthetically attractive??? (.... Fem!Sena on the other hand. My brain always freezes and stops working and i'm like "wow what an ethearal person!!" i don’t feel like having a crisis over this so i don’t think about this much. but it happens.)

song i associate with them: idk maybe silent oath and the divorced izuleo vibes. wanting to be with the person but you don’t think you should. talk to each other properly you losers (affectionate) i’m going to cry and sob at you

favourite picture of them:

checkmate unbloomed. i can’t put the image here bc i can’t find a png of it, but here’s a link to it in the wiki. it’s the one where little john, the midly pudgy grey cat is like. sprawled on izumi’s upper torso and shoulder and izumi not only LETS it but also gently pats her and looks at her softly. i bet izumi’s other arm is supporting the cat’s bottom so it can relax properly on his shoulder. what a softie.

i love little john so much. i'm sorry izumi i know you like attention but this isn't about you. i read this story at the start of my enstars journey, and let me tell you that little john made me 10x more invested in knights' storyline. i am a cat person. which also explains why i like knights, because they’re all very cat-coded. or ritsuizuleo at least.

[zerobaseonefics]

tw: rape, attempt and idk what else??

so basically my depression worsened and i had an attempt on wednesday, this week. school is too much already and it barely started, my whole family is a problem and my friends(?) are making jokes about me which i find somehow funny but it also hurts me

my family is talking about how my breasts grow so fast and how they are bigger than most of the women in my family and even men are saying this which makes me uncomfortable… my parents also keep telling me if i keep misbehaving (sleeping when its daytime) i will be sent to my family in vietnam (im not that close with them because theyre pretty much aggressive and i’m bad at speaking vietnamese, they can’t speak polish, so it’s hard to communicate)

the jokes my friends(?) make are about how a guy almost raped me but i managed to push him off of me.. the jokes are like “omg youre like literally our hulk” etc. // i do find the jokes funny sometimes but then i think about the time it happened and i feel grossed out by myself and feel like crying

also all the panic attacks i had in the recent weeks are all too much.. and it’s too much pressure thinking about everything at once, i just can’t sort it out in my head

even tho my problems may not be that serious, i still can’t handle them anymore. thank you for “listening”to me, i’m really thankful for you<33

~🤍

first of all, i know it's hard to keep that in mind sometimes, and that's why i want to remind you that you should never make a hierarchy of problems. your problems ARE serious, and you should not delegitimize them like that. your feelings are valid no matter what your issue is, if it makes you feel that way then there is a reason and it's your right to be hurt.

i'm genuinely pissed off hearing about the comments on your body from your family 💀 as i hit puberty very young, i also had that problem of adults making inappropriate remarks on it, and i know how it hurts and can mess with your self esteem and the way you feel in your body. avoid the people who make this kind of comments as much as you can. depending on the links you have with your family, try and tell them that it makes you uncomfortable. tell the women in your family especially that it's even worse when it's men and hopefully they will stand up for you if they ever tell you something about it in front of them. this is so annoying why do they care about your body like that 💀

about your friends and their jokes!! even if it can make you laugh sometimes, it's better to tell them straight that you don't like it. if you let them get away with it for too long, they might not understand why you're against it when you used to laught about it. maybe they don't mean any harm, but if they're actual good friends they'll respect you and stop with these jokes. if they are not, i guarantee you that you'll be better off without them. you're very strong, okay? what happened to you when you got assaulted is in no way your fault and it is not taking away your value. don't forget i call you pure >:(

as for the panick attacks, do you have any methods to calm them down?? as someone who suffers from it as well, i had a time when i was younger where they were very frequent. i have less now because i found some methods that help me calm down easier. if you can, press your back against something cold, a wall for example. if you're not alone, try to put your hand on a friend's chest to feel the way they are breathing and try to match your breathing with their. also, i have a friend who put their face in a huge bowl of water. try these next time you have a panick attack, and if doesn't work, look for other ones! there is surely one that will work for you.

i assume you're much younger than me so i will treat you as a little sibling and talk to you according to my experiences as someone who went through similar things as you. if you ever wanna talk about anything, i will always take my time to answer to you and try to give you advices. take care of you, you're valuable, and you should never hurt yourself <3 better days are surely waiting for you in the future, and it would be a shame to miss them, right?

please come back to me at least once a week so i can make sure you're doing good >:( take care, pure 🩶

[crazedmetalhead]

Eddie Head cannons/ character analysis

Is this gonna be me projecting onto a fictional character; yes, yes it is. This is just my opinion of what I think Eddie would be like as someone who grew up in a trailer park, with a lot of the conditions that the fandom assumes Eddie went through in his childhood. For context, there will be dark themes, don't like, don't read. THIS IS MY OPPINION (sorry if it makes no sense)

Okay so there has been some discourse in the community about whether Eddie would be a softie or a hard-ass, and I raise a middle ground. I feel like Eddie would seem like a hard-ass, hell, he'd act rough and shit around his friends, and he's loud, he wears leather and chains, I can see where you're coming from, and I also see where people get that he's a softie, from his interactions with Chrissy. I think you're both right, let me explain. "Eddie's always amped up," to me, this means that he's always on guard, he's been hurt before, this man grew up between truck stops and tin cans. The way I see it is he was always, poor, never knew any luxury. He probably grew up in a trailer with his sick mom and abusive dad, he was probably moved around a lot after his mom died, maybe his dad was a part of organized crime or something, which is why he knows how to hotwire a car. He's terrified of getting hurt again, yet expects it so he puts up a tough guy act, but deep down he wants to be good, he wants to protect those he loves. There's also the discourse about Lucas and as a Dungeon Master, I can tell you, if one of my party members last minute cancelled on us, the day of the session, especially a big one, to hang out with people who are known bullies.... I'd also be pissed off, I'd think, "Fuck he's really fraternizing with the enemy," and I would also get a substitute player. Campaigns take months to plan, that session for cult of Vecna alone probably took at least two weeks of planning and Eddie had to buy everything for it, D&D figures are not cheap either so if he planned it down to the player, which many of us do, that'd be infuriating. I think that all the supplies for that game today would run at over $120.00 which for a super senior living in his uncle's trailer and dealing drugs to get by, is a hell of a lot of money. Also, every single other person in the party agreed that that day was okay, and so did Lucas at the time, postponing would screw everyone over, it's literally how every D&D group runs, at the end of the session you all work out the next time you can meet. It's a really high-pressure hobby to be a Dungeon Master because it's not just making the game and improv, it's also managing everyone else's schedules. It can be stressful as hell. Especially with a party of that size. I feel his reaction was pretty valid as someone who has had that happen.

With Chrissy he was soft, yes, that's because he saw how scared she was, Eddie isn't the sort to kick somebody when they're down and wouldn't try and freak her out when she's already practically shaking with anxiety, and sure, he may have had a little crush on her- he has eyes. I think when she says she thought he'd be mean and scary it's not only because he's loud and wears mean looking clothes, I think there is valid reasons, as some of you say, but I think he has his reasons to act that way. He probably got into a lot of fist fights, that's just how the highschool hierarchy works, but I don't think he'd have started it. I believe Eddie is a firm believer of, "I don't start shit, but I will finish it," as well as, "Fuck around and find out," and I feel like a lot of people fucked around and had their asses handed to them. Also, being called the freak all your life is eventually grating on you and eventually you put yourself in that box before other people can, which usually includes wild hair, loud rants, hissing at people you don't like and a mean case of resting bitch face. Also, I raise to you, when I went to a new school, before I even dressed alt, people thought I'd be mean and scary simply because of my resting bitch face, so even without fist fights people would find Eddie intimidating. That being said, I feel like Eddie Munson is an onion of many layers, and if you break through those walls, he is a major softy, malleable butter in your hands. He'd at first be confused by the love you give him, suspicious that it's a prank, but when he trusts you, he trusts you with his life and it's hard to get it back if you shatter it. He definitely holds the doors for strangers, especially girls, he opens the car door and walks on the outside of the sidewalk, Wayne taught him how to treat a lady and he follows those rules. That's all, this is just my oppinion.

[thehearteccentric]

REQUESTS: OPEN

Welcome to 🪄✨ the Cringe Zone! ✨🪄

Old pinned

You've reached AXYER's probably most cringeworthy blog (well, besides the vore blog)!

Over here on this little corner of the interwebs, I like to post about my experiences being fictionkin.

I'll proooooooobably be posting primarily about being fictionkin of the Heart (Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium, but who's to say the other ones won't come in eventually! Eh? Eh?

I also take requests for a handful of things! Scroll down if you're interested. 😳

Please do note a few things:

-I am like, REALLY sensitive. Like, craaaaazy sensitive. Like, it is literally so easy to hurt my feelings you don't even know. Please be gentle with me! I promise I don't bite, and if I'm rude/wrong/whatever it is NOT on-purpose!

-I'm not going to get too in-depth about my mental ouchies (quite frankly, they're none of your business!) but I do have OCD and I do have schizoaffective. Because of my OCD, I will never reblog things that work based off of superstition/peer-pressure. No "reblog this or else [XYZ] will happen" or "I don't care WHAT your blog is about, what your 'aesthetic' is, what you care about, what your summer job in 2017 was, what your mother's maiden is, YOU BETTER REBLOG THIS OR YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!"-type posts, nothing that triggers compulsion in someone to get them to reblog because, quite frankly, that's not cool. My schizoaffective leads me to have a bit of the paranoias, so be patient with me! Sometimes I'm a little off my rocker.

-Also don't you dare enable my delusions regardless of how "harmless" or "validating" or literally whatever they are I will be absolutely pissed at you if you let me remain in a delusion regardless of what the delusion is. /srs

-No politics here! I wanna keep this a safe escape from reality, just as I do with all my blogs! You won't find any depressing morbid real-life problems here, at most just first-world alterhuman problems.

-I'm specifically not going to discuss DID/OSDD/adjacent-topics (such as Tulpamancy) regardless of what they are, and I'd like you to respect that! There's no winning in that discussion and absolutely no one can agree on anything related to the disorder and related stuff. Please don't ask for requests if your alter isn't fictionkin! I only do fictionkin requests. I know this is probably a bit unfortunate, but I really, really don't wanna associate with the DID/OSDD/what have you community just because discourse and misinformation run rampant, and I'm personally not looking to get involved in that matted knot of a discussion! No hard feelings, of course– you can still interact and be friends, I still support the disorder and people with it– just keep that discussion away from me, m'kay?

-I sometimes mess up! Please let me know as soon as possible when I do! I don't like to be a bad person, and I think people who do are losers. If I make a mistake, kindly (and I mean kindly, I'm a person after all!) let me know and I'll do better! I won't change if no one tells me anything.

-I do NOT want to interact with doubles of Heart!!! Please HARD DNI if you also identify as Heart (or anyone on your account does, for that matter!)! There are no exceptions to this, I would've let you know already if there was!!!

-I'm not personally comfortable interacting with com-shippers! My abuser was a hardcore com-shipper and I'm still recovering from it, not to mention just generally the not okay aspects of it. Please DNI!!!

-Mias World fans HARD DNI as well. /vsrs

Here are my kintypes!:

-The Heart (Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium) blended with the Robber (Ain't no Rest for the Wicked - Chonny Jash Cover) "Villain" Heart! I'm mostly just Heart, though. I know that this kintype of mine came from some odd, ask blog-type crossover AU world, hence my current love and passion for crossover AUs. This leads me to having noematas + memories of a lot of random characters unrelated to CCCC! I know I was a spawn of entropy (Soul was a deity of entropy of sorts, I don't know if that was actually the case or just how I perceived him) and a God/Goddess (genderless) of the Moon, and I lived in a world between worlds composed of Soul's mind. I wasn't a figment of his imagination, and the world was very real; it was not just a mindscape, it was an entire universe. But I don't know who or what "Whole" was other than he was Soul at one point. I know I had an undying hatred for humanity and any human-adjacent entity, and that was part of my villainous motives; I also know Mind was a rival of mine but he wasn't necessarily good either. I also had a strict code against murder and would never kill anyone.

-Grimmchild (Hollow Knight). An "iteration" of myself in another world. Dunno too much about this kintype, but it came to me in a dream and was the first sign of alterhumanity to me back in 2022.

-Glorified stick figure (species), my (Villain) Heart kintype was one of these! But like, a creature that took the form of one as its Host was one itself.

-Idkin, the aforementioned parasite! Now, I don't know how much of an idkin I was, in all honesty, as I have conflicting memories. But to an extent I know I was one of these bad boys.

-Blitzen. The Santa reindeer. I don't know how. I don't know why. But apparently that was me at some point. I truly cannot wait for what December will be like for me.

-CraftyCorn (Smiling Critters), specifically fictionhearted. I dunno, something about her speaks to me.

-Miscellaneous "iterations" of myself. I believe my kintypes (with the exception of Blitzen) to be various iterations of (Villain) Heart, myself included, and us all being the same entity albeit different AUs of one another. I know there's also a dystopian version of myself, a "furry" version of myself, and a "canon-accurate" version of myself too!

-And a whooooooooole bunch of synpaths! Shall we go down the list?

• Ffionn Fox (Still Here)

• The Vinki (Rain World - Modded)

• The Mangle (FNaF)

• Beelzebub (Helluva Boss) (I do not support Vivziepop nor am I fond of her shows) (you're ok to interact if you are though :))

• Mackenzie (Bluey)

• victim (Animator Vs. Animation - Fanon)

• Fink (OK K.O!)

• Simon (The Mind Electric)

• Barry Noceda (Ferngully: The Last Rainforest)

• SCP-682 (SCP)

• Puss in Boots (Shrek)

•Pink Pearl (Steven Universe)

Requests!!!

I bet that's what some of you are only here for, eh? No worries, I get it. I'm the same way.

I take:

-Fashion kit requests

-Moodboard requests

-Care kit requests

-Pokémon team requests

-And tips for species euphoria!!!

Rules:

-Rushing me does not make me go faster. Spam me and you're not getting anything, m'ny'alright?

-If the source is not listed down here, just ask! I'll let you know if I'm down for it. :)

-Be EXTREMELY specific. I do NOT work well with vague instructions and it is not my fault if you get disappointed. If you want a fashion kit, specify the clothes you like. If you want a moodboard, specify the themes and colours. If you want a Pokémon team, specify what kinds of Pokémon you do and don't want. If you want a care kit, tell me what you like and what you're looking for. BE. SPECIFIC. I don't want to disappoint you! And if you ask for a "surprise me" then that's on you. /lh

-If your name is Dakota and you ship siblings together and continuously defend com-shipping to people who are triggered by it that you're well-aware of then you are not allowed here. Bye-bye. Shoo. You've ruined my life enough. Toodaloo. Sayonara. I wrote your name on the door just so you know which one's the exit and I can remember you're gone every time I look at it.

-I will not do anything with saliva or with weed. Just a personal preference.

-I will deny whatever makes me uncomfortable, I apologise if this is inconvenient! I'll try my best but sometimes I just can't handle things. Please don't get upset, there are countless other kin blogs you can go to!

-Please do not specify personal information in the asks! This is just a given, but still.

-Tell me your kintype and the full name of the media alongside it! I don't wanna get confused yk.

Things I am best at:

-Therianthropy

-Otherkin

-Conceptkin

-Elementkin

-Divinekin

-Spacekin

-Rain World

-Animator Vs. Animation

-FNaF (pre-Help Wanted)

-Centaurworld

-Dream SMP

-OK K.O!

-Octonauts

-Gravity Falls

-Pokémon (as in, da creatures)

-Happy Tree Friends

-Undertale (+ Sans AUs)

-Hollow Knight

-BoJack Horseman

-Skylanders

-Tuca & Bertie

-Inside Out

-World of None

-Hateful Wonderland/Still Here (I HIGHLY doubt there's any people who even still know about this but… the offer's there)

-Poppy Playtime (especially the Smiling Critters!)

-SCP

-Tattletail

-Hazbin Hotel (well-versed but not a big fan)

-Helluva Boss (well-versed but not a big fan)

-FNaC

-Popgoes

-ONaF

-Countryhumans

-Eddsworld

-TADC (not HUGE into it but well-versed)

-Summer Camp Island

-Polandball

-Plague Inc.

-Generation Loss

-Dungeons & Dragons (either canon stuff or a D&D player character)

-Spy vs. Spy

Things I am not too well-versed in but would love to do:

-Niche media (ESPECIALLY webseries/webcomics gimme gimme I have so much I need to get into)

-Warriors

-Digimon

-Tally Hall (I've listened to the entirety of MMMM, G&E, HP:II, JHJH, and have been hyperfixated at one point but anything outside of that realm I'm gonna need to research)

-Stray

-Cuphead

-Bendy and the Ink Machine

-Wings of Fire

-Portal, Portal Two, + Portal Mods

-Villainous

-Steven Universe

-Teen Titans

-Over the Garden Wall

-Craig of the Creek

-Bee and Puppycat

-Star Vs. The Forces of Evil

-Amphibia

-The Owl House

Things I'm not as good at (but can still do! Just need research):

-Placekin

-Objectkin

-Live action shows

-Movies

-Pokémon Trainers

-QSMP

-HermitCraft

-Aphmau

-Object shows (with the exception of BFB and Love of the S*n. Pretty confident I can do those ones.)

-FNaF (post-Help Wanted)

-Book series

-SparkleCare Hospital

-Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

-Popee the Performer

-Henry Stickmin

-Roblox games/myths (Dandy's World, Phighting, Pressure, etc.)

-OCkin (you'll have to be as specific as possible)

-The Sun and Moon Show

-Kirby

-Dragon Prince

-She-Ra (the OG and the reboot)

-FNaF: Security Breach

-KinitoPet

Things I'm iffy on (and probably won't do):

-Basically every anime

-Team Fortress

-Resident Evil

-Vocaloid

-Project Sekai

-Honkai Star Rail

-BlueyCapsules FNaF AU

-Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium (straight-up won't do Heartkins)

Things I WON'T do (and you shouldn't ask):

-Mias World (absolutely not.)

-Cookie Run Kingdom

-Ace Attourney

-Unicorn Wars

-Sam and Max

-Media that promotes problematic content (not media by problematic creators, specifically media that supports it)

-Dramatical Murder

-Your Boyfriend

-The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey

-Doll Eye

-Danganronpa

Anywho, enjoy your stay. :3333

[mima-sama]

I check in every few days to make sure my queue is still working properly and reposting the vetted fundraisers link, and seeing very little negativity on my dashboard, was considering coming back from my hiatus early, but I'm probably going back on hiatus again because I made the mistake of looking into the notes of a post I thought might have some actual intelligent discussion (shouldn't have expected that from the piss-on-the-poor reading comprehension hellsite), and I just cannot tolerate how ugly, stupid, selfish, and childish some people on the left are being.

Saw a person in the notes of that certain post basically say in their tags that they think people in the US who are voting for Harris (so that we don't get killed by Trump and Vance, and so that Trump doesn't erase Palestine off of the map as he has clearly telegraphed he will) CAN vote for Harris but should immediately kill ourselves afterwards anyway to "restore equilibrium". Like, what the FUCK?!

To that person, I have this to say: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and your goddamn privilege. Get off the internet until you fucking grow up, you're a terrible, awful human being. No, you're not a good person. You're just as much of a goddamn compassionless monster as the goddamn Democrats you love to hate.

You are not a leftist. You are a reactionary accelerationist. You are a selfish, ugly person who cannot even be bothered to do the bare minimum of your civic duties to protect the people around you because you apparently failed your civics classes (or never had them to begin with) and don't understand how the government works nor bother to learn about it, because you believe that there's nothing in it worth saving. Clearly, according to your beliefs, the morally correct thing is to have the Democrats lose in order to teach them a lesson; thus, letting Trump kill as many queer people, physically and mentally disabled people, and people of color as he wants to (including Palestinian-Americans, if you think he won't go after them then you're even more of an idiot than I originally thought), and letting him turn Palestine into a radioactive hellscape which will be uninhabitable for decades (I am not kidding when I say that he really, really wants to use nukes), because according to you, that will definitely teach those heartless Dems a lesson and will kick-start the revolution that you've been told will solve all your problems. You don't even have a plan for what comes after the collapse of America other than some vague buzzwords that you don't truly understand. Sure, it'll cost the very lives of the people you claim to love and support and want this revolution to happen for, but they're a necessary sacrifice you're willing to make to prove your ideals are right and infallible.

FUCK. YOU.

I want my friends and family to be safe. I want my queer siblings to be safe. I want disabled people to be safe. I want marginalized people of all kinds to be safe. I want the Palestinians to still have a Palestine to return home to.

Yeah, we'll have a lot of work to do to make things better. And unfortunately, it's going to take time, sorry. Things will not get better instantly. But I'd rather do that hard work than let everyone around me die to prove the validity of some sort of vague ideal.

I think after writing all of that, I understand what pisses me off about these reactionaries. They remind me of religious zealots who want to hasten the "end times" so that they can get to heaven. Same amount of ego, same lack of critical thinking, same amount of believing in their own righteousness, same amount of not caring who dies because "things will be better after the end"... how did the left get hijacked by the right? Propaganda, probably. No Child Left Behind dumbing down the critical thinking skills of the general populace probably didn't help. Dubya must be so pleased with himself. (Wish I could deck him in the face, just once.)

Anyway, go vote for Kamala Harris even if you have to hold your nose while you do it, and also donate to Palestinian fundraisers and spread them around. And yeah, you can even protest and try to push Dems to be better, I actually encourage that, but you do NOT get to tell marginalized people to kill themselves for trying to save themselves while you're doing that. That is unbelievably fucked up.

[trishbo]

I can assure that everything they have been said until now has proven right even though they might missed some infos// this is a straight up lie. Those blogs have only ever revealed things after the fact and even then, they don’t provide proof. Like Arkansas. They claim they knew but didn’t want to say anything because it’s a “privacy violation.” Lol. Why not just say “Evans will have an appearance this Friday.” Why is that so hard to say? It’s because they didn’t know and they’re lying about having sources. They do this every single time. /// hmmm dear oh dear, do you really think people on Tumblr can't have close sources to him ??? what a childish mindset! 🙃 Team PR clearly said they knew about the Arkansas thingy but couldn't say anything because no one wanted the troll to troll and change her location like she did multiple times and we caught her. You team real can fck off. everything is a lie for you uh when it has been proven nth times the portu bishes enjoy trolling and Chris has had enough of that he's pissed he's seeing red!! If you think it's normal that a "bf" swears at his "gf" and tell her to "fuck off" I'm sorry for you but you probably are in or enjoy a toxic relationship. It's not the first time since in the NY pap walk we saw them arguing on the stairs... hmm lemme guess... you thought awww how cute they're fighting like a married couple 🤡🤡🤡 Last but not least, according to y'all why that ass of Justin suddenly inserted his sister's name when he alluded at a marriage in his IG story?! the devil works hard but Chris lawyers work harder ;)

Y'all team real better look back at what Chris said before the shitshow started and read between each line of his, focus on his demeanor ffs! you know what? idgf bec at the end of the day you're gonna be the ones disappointed for being proven wrong. Why don't you just say you want to (fake) prove that leech and Chris are together just bec you need a reason to hate on him? c'mon baby don't hide it :( meanwhile you stan someone who insulted trans people in the past. At least Chris is dumb for signing up to this despite wanting to get out from day 1, but your faves are rotten inside. 💀💀💀

I know everyone of you has pretty valid points, I got it.

Now he’s losing his fans, and it makes me sad he’s losing some of his loyal fans that accompanied him for more than 10 years, even before marvel.

So I just want him to man up and make a statement, Pr or real, just clear thing up.

[hematomes]

remember when i said i had the hottest takes of all? well that's it im gonna say it bc it keeps happening and it just makes me feel so bad im like,,, done

as a poc myself (mixed, african dad nd white mom just so yk), it really, really doesn't sit right with me when people edit light-skinned, existing poc characters' pictures to give them the most stereotypical black features. im talking big lips and nose, poorly-edited curly hair, obviously the dark skin etc.

im gonna have to develop a bit so it's kinda understandable? so here we go ig

i get the point. i get the need for representation, we are DYING to be represented and i fully enjoy seeing black characters in the medias i consume, every goddamn time. but i cannot understand how it's acceptable to erase other cultures AND gratuitously edit someone else's work in the process. im gonna take genshin as a simple example bc this is the only one that's affecting me right now, but im guessing it happens in other fandom as well

seeing characters from inazuma edited with the most stereotypical black features of all times just rubs me the wrong way. it's, in my eyes, like saying you think asians don't matter as much as blacks, because you're erasing one type of poc representation to favor another one, and that's not right. that's the opposite of right, even.

im not talking about blasians. they exist, im aware, they're gorgeous and valid and i do wish they had more representation in the mainstream media. but who's just as valid? light-skinned asians. (small edit: so are dark-skinned asians that aren't blasians, btw) i just came across an edited itto with half-assed curly hair, big-ass lips etc, like... the original picture was just edited. which is why i want to nuance it a bit; redrawing a character and headcanoning (is that even a word) them as blasian can be cool, why not, do your thing, it's nice. but just editing someone else's work to erase one representation and making it about something else entirely? yeah, no, doesn't seem right. the artists work their asses off to create beautiful designs, to represent a culture with details thrown around, every last bit of the character is carefully designed and... it's just so disrespectful to throw that shit away and replace it for clout?

i wish people would, idk, draw ocs, or even real fanart for that matter. but simply editing someone else's art is never ok in my opinion, and it always infuriates me because if someone edited xinyan with light skin (and claiming they headcanon her as a light-skinned asian) they would get crucified. in a heartbeat.

i might get crucified myself but im just sick and tired of seeing these edits so at this point im getting desperate.

and what pisses me off the most with them is that their notion of representation is picking the most stereotypical features, slap them on an already finished design and call it a day. im gonna be honest, this looks just as racist to me. reducing black people to big lips and nose, dark skin and curly hair is.. basically insulting. almost blackface, actually???? like, fr.

now, this is just my opinion, after going through these edits numerous times and thinking about it long and hard. once again, i get the point, but the execution is just so..? they're always, or almost always depicting black culture as the aforementioned features. im tired of seeing asian erasure and feeling fucking guilty over it as if it's my own fault.

[plural-culture-is]

Okay so, I think I'm a created system, but accidentally created. However, sometimes it seems like the alters only end up fronting if someone requests them? I'm worried I'm faking, even though everyone says thats a conscious choice. More recently I've had 2-3 of them who front more regularly, but I still worry. Could they be less of other people in the same body and more of just a mindset or something that makes me feel safer? There usually aren't too many gaps in my memories, and at most, the memories just end up fuzzy. I can't get to the innerworld as far as I know, or if I do I have no recollection. My therapist won't diagnose me or seem to try too hard to look into it, which makes me think I'm just faking and doing a bad job or something and its not real and not a big deal. But when the others front it feels different, and sometimes the main protector fronts when I feel stressed or my parents piss me off enough to make me wanna do something I'll regret. Do you think I'm a system?

first of all, they're right when they said you can only consciously decide to fake. If you don't, you're not faking.

secondly, you're actually almost exactly describing our thought process when we first started questioning being a system. But we definitely know for sure now that we are a system.

and not all systems have amnesia. For instance, most non-disorded systems don't, and as for disorded systems, those with OSDD-1b don't.

also you don't need to have an innerworld, and if you do, it's okay to not be able to get there. We have an innerworld but I think we can really only get there if we actually take the time to visualise it all and we can't just go there whenever we want.

if this is important to you, you should get your therapist to at least look into it, or get another therapist who will listen if that's an option. But also you don't need a diagnosis to be valid.

and if it feels different when others front then that's definitely a sign that the others are real and actually are fronting, because why would it feel like that if it was just you?

so yes from what you've told me, I do think you're a system, but as always it's up to you whether you decide to call yourself plural or not!

[dream-a-little-bigger-darling000]

You'll Fit So Nicely You'll Keep Me Intact

Author's Note: Hello Hello! Not my GIF, please don't think it is, but it is my fic! I asked a few days ago if I should do Bane or touch-starved Tommy, and it was pretty clear I should do my sweet summer child Tommy boy. I just really think this big tough fighter needs to take a break and be held every once in awhile. And you can't tell me this man wouldn't have the sweetest moans. Fight me on it you can't. Please Please PLEASE reblog, like, or comment on this if you liked it. I live my day to day life craving validation.

If you absolutely hated it, also let me know! I admit I'm not the best at writing, and I'm willing to learn so I can feed my Tommy Conlon addiction. Ok, that's all, be fed!

2400+ words?! C'mon, that's gotta be enough to make you proud.

The whole fiasco was genuinely an accident.

The two of you, in his small cramped apartment, helping each other make dinner, because you couldn't remember whose turn it was, walking around each other like you had been doing it for years, because you had been.

You had been by Tommy for as long as you can remember, through those years where puberty slammed in the door and decked you directly in the throat (and other places), through the time where his family had slowly fallen apart, and into the years where he had joined the US Marine Corps.

Those years had been hell. At least when he moved away you were still able to text him annoying day-to-day updates and talk in the quiet nights when no one was awake to hear you admit how much you missed each other. But when he joined the Marines, you heard even less from your Tommy, and the ache you felt for him only grew.

When he came back, he had came back for good, immediately seeking you out with the promise of your old relationship back. And things went back to normal, slotted into place perfectly.

Except the insane amount of pining that you went through every waking hour you saw his stupidly attractive face.

But you weren't going to think about that. There was spaghetti to be made.

"Those are done." Tommy nodded his head to the noodles as he made the salad. You sneered to yourself, still pissed that he got the easy part.

"No, they're not, look, that one's still hard-"

"That's what she said."

"It's still undercooked you jerk. Can you please let me cook in peace? You're over there, doing the bare minimum, you ass."

"Hey, if this isn't tossed right, the whole thing is ruined. And those noodles are definitely done. We can get them in the sauce before the garlic bread is done so it'll cool down a bit. Look." All the sudden Tommy was crowded up behind you. Your breath did something funny. Probably the steam from the boiling water. Because, you know, it's so hard to breathe around.

Tommy took the spoon you were using to stir and managed to scoop up a single noodle. He then carefully picked it up and threw it on the cabinet. It stuck, but looked like it would fall via a strong sneeze.

"See? Done." You looked behind you to stare up at the infuriating man. He smiled and tilted his head. You had the sudden urge to hit him. With your mouth. Damn it.

He turned around, not giving you a chance to argue with him. That was his first mistake. As a MMA fighter, the idiot should know never to turn your back on the enemy.

You scooped up another noodle with your spoon. You waited until he was truly busy with cutting the tomatoes up for the salad.

You aimed for his head. It wrapped around the back of his neck with a soft splat. He startled for a moment, and then set the knife down and stared forward, still not turning around to look at you.

"You know what, now it's done. Now it's stickin'." You were struggling to hold it together, desperately trying not to laugh as you turned off the stovetop and set the pan aside.

You felt strong arms envelop you from behind, and you let out a loud laugh as you felt your feet leave the floor. Tommy, spinning you around before setting you on the counter. You've really put yourself it a bad position.

Well, if you're being honest, probably the best damn position you've ever been in.

Except that the bastard started tickling you. More laughter spilled out of you, uncontrollable at this point.

"Tommy!" You were out of breath from the constant attack. What happened to never turn your back on the enemy? "Tommy, what are we in-" More laughter as his joined yours. You two were so close you could feel his shoulder dip every time he rumbled a laugh. "what are we in 6th grade now- Tommy!"

You could feel his laughter huff by your ear, and you knew you had to resort to dirty tactics. If he wanted to play by middle school standards, then you had no choice but to stoop down to his level.

Tommy was very distracted trying to murder you by laughter alone, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. He never even realized your hands were so close to his head. He was in the middle of another fit of giggles when he felt your nimble hands glide through his hair. He had half a second to understand what you were planning, and he was just about to pull away, to get as far from you as possible before-

You gave a solid pull to his hair. You felt satisfaction shoot through your body as his laugh choked off, his body going rigid underneath your fingers. His breath stuttered and his hands instantly fell from your sides to grasp the edge of the counter.

You didn't quite understand what was going on at first, the only thing on your mind being that you'd won the battle. You couldn't help the smug smile from sliding across your expression, or the snarky little giggle that bubbled it's way out.

"What's wrong, Tommy? Did someone school you at your own game, hmm? Maybe next time you'll think before you-"

"Could you please let go?" Tommy sound winded, like he'd just fought a few rounds with someone much bigger than him. It made you pause, and then frown.

Your fingers loosened from his hair, but you didn't lower your arm just yet. You couldn't fathom why Tommy was acting this way, when he instigated the rough-housing. And you knew for damn sure you hadn't hurt him. You had seen the idiot stub his toe on his coffee table before, and the only reaction out of the fighter was a pause, a look up to the ceiling, and one long, drawn out sigh.

So even though he sounded like he was trying to fight for his life, you know it absolutely wasn't because you had hurt him in anyway. Tommy could break you five times over.

You looked down at his hands. Not only was he grasping the edge of the counter top, but his knuckles were white, like he was anchoring himself. You glanced to his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips pressed tightly together, and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. Was he- was that a blush? His body was still pulled tight.

Experimentally, you lightly scraped your nails along his scalp.

If Tommy were to ever hear you call the sound that came from him a whimper, he'd probably swiftly and effectively dispose of your body. But it was a fucking whimper.

His eyes snapped open wide and met yours. You saw his utter mortification. You would say you felt guilty, but having your long time crush whimper while slotted between your thighs as you sat a top a kitchen counter really did things for you.

You mentally reprimanded yourself for letting your mind fall into the gutter as your friend so obviously had a small break down.

Before you could get a word out, to try talk him down from whatever thoughts were swirling in that pretty head of his, Tommy was out of kitchen. Ah, so he's chosen drama today? Coming from a man who would rather fight his own brother than talk, you can't really find it in yourself to be surprised.

"Tom." You dropped down from the counter, heading toward the living room, which was the only way he could've gone. As you rounded the corner, you saw him pacing the length of the room, his hands interlaced behind his head, elbows out, eyes wild.

"Tommy." You smoothed out your voice, pictured yourself trying to calm down a particularly flighty horse. You know, if the horse were the love of your life and you were desperately trying to make things less weird between you two before the already delicate friendship collapsed.

At your gentle prod he stopped. He let his hands fall down to his sides. He huffed once. Crossed his arms, made a face, and then dropped them. His fists curled up into balls and he closed his eyes. He opened one and looked toward you.

"You didn't hear that."

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your own arms to your chest.

He pointed to the kitchen. "That didn't happen."

Because you love your best friend very much, you didn't roll your eyes.

"Tommy. Calm down. Take a deep breath." He did not take a deep breath. You did for him. Then another one for you. You moved toward the couch, and the way he suddenly looked like he was about to sprint out the door didn't escape you. You held your hands up placatingly. Easy, boy.

You sat down, leaving enough room for him to sit beside you. He looked at you wearily. You gave him a pointed look, one that said this is something to be discussed, and there's no way you're getting out of it, and gently patted the space for him.

He looked like he'd rather do anything else. He eventually made his way to the spot and plunked down, but as close to the arm of the couch as possible.

You gave him a sweet smile. He looked away, but not before you caught the blush. You decided to let him speak first.

It was quiet for awhile. Your thoughts went to the noodles still sitting on the counter, probably cooling in the water making a film. He cleared his throat.

"I don't. Not a ton of people touch me." He stared dutifully in front of him. You stayed silent, afraid of scaring him into silence again. He shifted uncomfortably, letting out a growl of frustration. "I mean people touch me. I just meant. It's not. It's," He looked like each word was slowly strangling him, "Never that intimate. I guess. And never anyone like you."

You're eyebrows shot up. His head jerked toward you.

"Not like that, I mean like someone so pretty." You choked a little. He visibly flinched. "Ok. I think that's enough for tonight. I think I've made plenty an ass of myself for one God forsaken night." He made to move, but your hand covered his before you really thought about it. He immediately stopped, staring at your hand on top of his.

"Tommy, it's ok." He gave you a dubious look. "No, really. Lots of people don't know how to deal with touch when it's not normal for them-"

"I'm fine, I touch people all the time, it doesn't matter it's ridiculous-"

"Tommy." He stopped. You lifted both hands to slowly cradle his face. His eyes were panicky. He looked like he was fighting every instinct inside him. "Listen to me, love." His eyes widened. "You don't have to explain anything. I need you to know it's ok to freak out a little. It's ok for this to be new." You bit your lip. "It's ok if it feels good."

A small sound came from the fighter. His eyes slipped closed. It suddenly hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, and you started to gently stroking his face to his neck.

"Oh Tommy. You spend all that time fighting in the ring, so much time dominating. You barely let anyone touch you before you knock them away." His dad was probably never there to offer him any type of physical love, and his mom was too distanced from anyone to truly give what Tommy craved. By that time, he had pushed his brother away, and you had never really noticed him to be very active in the dating area.

You could feel his control slipping, could feel him slowly letting you hold his head up while he explored the sensation of someone just feeling him. When he spoke, his speech was slightly slurred.

"Was always jus' scared."

"I know Tommy."

"Didn' want you t' leave."

"And why would I do something stupid like that."

There was a second of silence, but Tommy was too far in to go back now.

"Cuz' I only wanted you to touch. Only ever you." Your heart stopped. His eyes slowly opened, meeting yours. His gaze snapped to your lips, back up to your eyes. All it took was for your eyes to snap to his lush mouth, and he was surging to meet you.

You felt like you were melting, melding into him. His lips were sliding against yours, his hands suddenly huge, thumbs cupping your face while his hands rested on the sides of your neck. He kissed like you see him fight. The urgency and the power and the emotion. You ached all over.

You could hardly remember your name when you finally separated, heaving lungfuls of air. Maybe all that oxygen deprivation had really done something to your brain, because you might be having a stroke. It almost smelled like something was burning. Tommy's face did something funny and he sniffed the air.

Oh. OH. The garlic bread.

Both of you made a mad dash for the kitchen, Tommy arriving first and throwing the oven door open, grabbing whatever cloth he could find to take out the charred bread as you used a dishrag to flap away any smoke that spilled out.

Once he made sure his apartment wasn't going to burn down or that the ambulance wan't going to be making a surprise visit, he slumped against the counter, breathing heavily. You put your hands on your hips.

A few second went by, both of you trying to catch your breath. Tommy looked up at you. You met his eye.

You both melted into peeling laughter, trying to stay upright. It seemed like every time you two would get your shit together, you'd fall right back into cackles.

He finally reigned in the worst of the laughter, and slowly made his way to where you were standing. Your own laughs died down.

"Are we good?" you ask him gently. He nods his head, with his sweet smile.

"We're good" he replies gently. He gets this determined look on his face, and steps real close to you. He doesn't do anything else for awhile, instead looking to you, asking with questioning eyes.

You give him an encouraging smile. He smiles right back at you, and for the second time tonight, strong arms envelop you.

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

Traumacule with both FtM Drifter and FtM Yw?

Now, this is what I'm talking about, anon! This is coming from a GenderQueer/Transbeing that leans masc and who literally couldn't give two fucks to the whole "you have to change your body to be accepted" concept.

SFW

Saint literally transitioned to an Exo, so both him and Osiris could care less that you and Drifter are trans.

Drifter was very blunt and open about "coming out". At the start of the relationship, he was like "so I'm actually afab." You piggybacked off of him.

If you have trouble finding clothes that help with whatever presentation you're going for, Saint-14 is now your best friend (in addition to boyfriend).

He will take you clothes shopping, text pictures to the group chat to ask for second & third opinions, and he surprisingly has an exquisite taste in fashion.

Drifter very much likes his usual outfit, having been around for much longer than you he's very much over the whole "body=gender" mindset.

Drifter does wander around in a baggy, stained t-shirt and pyjama pants when he's at home. He gives very scruffily, dead-tired vibes.

You and Drifter will get into philosophical debates over Gender and presentation and everything else while breathing ether on the couch.

Osiris has no idea what y'all are talking about, but Saint can follow the conversation perfectly and supply some trans-human points.

I feel like Drifter would have a conversation with you if you were using Ace bandages and get you an actual binder (or pay for top surgery. We know he makes bank).

BIND SAFELY FUCKS.

NSFW

So I'm specifying bodies because any trans body is valid. We are also assuming that Ghosts somehow can give guardians Testosterone.

Drifter actually kept his tits, they're a B cup and he doesn't care if people think they're moobs. He likes them. He also doesn't have bottom surgery.

You have top surgery (with scars) but not bottom surgery.

Drifter likes to refer to his strap as his "custom shween". Even in bed.

Not that he wears it all that often. He actually quite enjoys being stuffed full of everyone.

Saint has picked you up on several occasions and placed you on his shoulders to eat you out.

Sit on Drifter's face while he's taking Osiris or Saint and he's automatically in heaven.

Even if it's really bad for his old bones, Osiris will eat both of you out until his beard glistens, and he's damn proud of it.

Sometimes you just run a train on Drifter to watch him slowly lose all function with a dopey grin on his face.

You've eaten/fucked Drifter against the railing of the Annex on numerous occasions because Drifter claims "it's less clean up".

Whenever Drifter is really pissed/has bad dysphoria, he leaves everything on and fucks anyone he can with his "custom shween"

He goes hard. Mercy or bruises aren't a concept for him. Even if it's Saint-14. He'll even go until he's crying from his pelvis shattering due to how hard he's hitting against saint.

Afterwards, he's left to soak in a bath, usually with saint behind him to make sure he can get back to bed as bones heal slowly due to his fucked-up ghost.

Everyone avoided Drifter's moobs until he looked Osiris dead in the eye and placed his hand on his chest.

Now it's practically tradition to look Drifter dead in the eyes and cup his chest, just to get him to laugh.

He doesn't mind a little bit of attention in the form of sucking his chest. It only adds to the way his back arches off the bed.