#personally I love william so much like what a down to earth guy he's always so cheery and fascinated by plants like arthur

[aduckinpain]

I was tagged by the amazing @paint-it-red-and-black for this and I found it so adorable I had to do it!

Use this link to make your own F1 Wrapped!

DRIVERS:

1. Charles Leclerc

The world may be unraveled and built again and I will still choose this man as my top driver. While admittedly at first I was captivated by his looks, I soon started genuinely enjoying this sport. Doing so allowed me to look into his story and by God is it something straight out of a book. His mentality to learn and remember everyone he's lost and fight for them while selflessly sacrificing himself for their wishes is something I couldn't fathom in a lifetime. And yet he does fight for himself and he does it viciously. He is one of the best, one of the only who I think with a competitive car could give Max a fight and win, and I need to see him spread his full potential. I am convinced that if this man doesn't win a World Championship then F1 is unachievable and Ferrari will destroy their own legend. You cannot just find another Charles Leclerc.

Also his dichotomy is insane. He's so chaotic it makes him incredibly entertaining.

If Charles Leclerc has one fan, it's me.

If Charles Leclerc has no fans, I'm dead.

2. Lando Norris

Admittedly I completely overlooked this man for about 2 months. Absolutely no second glance he wasn't interesting enough for me.

I repent for my mistake as he's consumed my waking days and nights. An absolute talent that stemmed from hard work. His second part of the season was to die for, I believe he as well, is one of the people that could fight Max for a championship. So young as well, and even if he managed to get there slowly because of his father, he tried to make it as realistic as he could. Staying a year just getting coffee orders while he's shaking in his boots for every interviews. A genuine sweetheart that deserves every good thing. I hate how self-critical he seems to be . He needs that win, he CAN win. In 2024 maiden victory for Lando Norris come on.

3. Max Verstappen

Everything, and I mean everything that this man has achieved, is deserved. Every win, every record broken, every championship was his. Because he is a generational talent, he is someone worthy. His past absolutely destroys me, especially seeing that he is in contact with his father still, but I can understand the way he thinks. Still what he went through in childhood is no excuse for the success he has now. This man is the sweetest, kindest person I've seen. He's grown so much over the years from what I can tell and he treats everyone so equally. From past temporary teammates, to rivals. A genuine joy to be around I want to give him a hug every day and tell him that he is special. Red Bull's second golden boy but also mine.

4. Oscar Piastri

At first glance, according to people I know, I look like this man. The bangs don't help, neither does the fact that I act similarly. However I will never complain if it means I can work hard and earn the success he's had in his first year in F1. When I say wow for him, I mean it. Showstopping performance. This man will be a Champion one day he has to. Absolute down to earth guy as well but I love when I see his competitive spirit shove its head between the calm walls. It's always the quiet ones and I'd know as I am one.

5. Alexander Albon

For fifth place I could've chosen a lot of people as I genuinely really like the current grid (with a few exceptions). But Alex is amazing. Truly believe that if you put him in a competitive car he'd bring miracles. He's put that Williams in places it never dreamed of driving around. One of the most talented drivers on the grid and his personality is to die for. So so nice and lovely genuinely.

RACES:

1. Las Vegas

I hated Las Vegas. Honestly still kinda do in a lot of aspects. But the race was the best. Charles definitely deserved that win and Max's penalty was too little, but a race is a race, it doesn't matter how you win it as long as you do. Charles' driving however was absolutely phenomenal. That overtake on Checo was borderline the most exhilarating thing I could ever feel. I was so shocked when I saw it, it took me a good 5 min to collect myself.

2. Singapore

While Carlos may not be on my list, the win he had in Singapore was well-deserved and amazingly iconic. I don't think I'll ever get over my confusion of hearing this mf say it's on purpose corresponding to Lando's DRS. that's the sexiest thing this man has done. That Carlando podium added extra years to my life. Their hugs and the champagne were the sweetest things ever. And Lando's pics from the podium were very um.......👁️👁️

3. Mexico

Very simple. Lando P17 to P5. Phenomenal driving. After the Austin GP disqualification. Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton on the podium? Exactly what I wished for. Brought my boy back from the slump that's called the 2023 F1 season.

4. Qatar

Now to be clear, I hated Qatar. I will hate Qatar and I hate Qatar. It was absolutely inhumane and there should've been different precautions or the race time should've changed because I don't care that these drivers are trained, that was actual torture. So when I say Qatar as my 4th favorite, I mean the sprint race.

Oscar Piastri the man that you are and the man that you will be. Rookie season and won a Sprint race. I know you will be great and I cannot wait for your future.

I do dislike how they overshadowed his win with Max's championship. While I understand the celebration, he was going to celebrate at the end of the season as well. All in all, I'm happy for both of them.

5. Suzuka

My reasoning for this is even simpler. If you ever need to know my weak point, just look at the number of reoccurring driver things I have in my room. You will find an outstanding amount of Sebastian Vettels everywhere. On a shirt, in my phone, on my phone, on my wall and more to come. My reason for this is just his little bee project and how much I adored seeing him in his little corner waving his flags and the bee activity he did the day before. Everybody loves Sebastian Vettel. As they should.

RACES WATCHED: 12/22

Now I got into F1 during the summer break, which is the reason I wasn't able to see half of the races. However I am grateful purely because I don't think I could've experienced Charles Leclerc losing his grasp over the championship and Sebastian Vettel's retirement in 2022. That would've been my actual breaking point. And I saw a Max dominant season yes, however I saw half of it and most of the races were very entertaining still. I love Max too so.

TOP TEAM:

My genuine choices for this were McLaren, Red Bull and Williams.

I went for McLaren because of their amazing driver lineup, improvement over the second part of the season and really cool pit stops.

Red Bull however has been unbeatable and I will give them all the credit. The strategies, the pit stops, the wins, everything. Phenomenal

Williams grew on me quickly after Qatar. While the car may be frankly, shit, the team seems incredibly put together and I adore that they gave Logan a second chance. Also that they put the well being of their drivers first. James Vowles adopt me.

Thank you so so much for this, it was incredibly entertaining!!

If you want pushki do the same @h4mmert1me . I know most of your opinions tho <3

[harry-sussex]

She’s literally stunning. Like radiant. You can’t take your eyes off of her. She’s absolutely beautiful in the pictures but that radiance doesn’t transfer over the camera - she’s such a vision.

I’m so happy for youuu!! Also, this sounds so lovely, like I feel like you can see this in pictures because at least my eyes are almost always drawn to her unless William is doing something extra cute or something, but to see it and get it “confirmed” in person? They’re both charismatic people but she just takes it up a notch, especially when taking to other people. I understand your shock after because I would’ve been the same!!

This is so extremely sweet, thank you so much! I can’t even explain how happy you guys have made me in the past 24 hours - meeting Kate was a joy but you guys are everything.

Yes, you can absolutely see her charisma in the photos! That smile, that laugh, her humor - that’s in the photos. She just radiates light in person - she has come out of her shell so much in the 10+ years I’ve been following her. She’s literally joy incarnate. Like, meeting her and talking to her and laughing with her was no joke the highlight of my life, don’t get me wrong. But seeing that she’s as magnetic, as entrancing in person as she is in the thousands of photos I’ve seen over the years? Like you said, that confirmation is everything - I would’ve been ecstatic just seeing that light / radiance in person even from a distance. The conversation and eye contact and that smile was the icing on the cake that I will literally never forget.

I have to give William where his credit is due (I haven’t talked about him as much as I should have) - I would have loved to have met him too. He’s so regal and yet so approachable? Kate eased my nerves just standing in front of me (I was panicking both before and after, as you can tell lol), but William exudes such an ease and warmth from him. Kate is light and William is comfort - just watching him from across the street made me know without a doubt that he is a good man, a sweet man, one who cares about what he does. I said this already but I could see the faces of the people with whom he was interacting directly in front of me - they adore him. I always knew he was charming and wonderful and down to earth with a subtle (but recognizable) regal confidence about him, but seeing that upfront as well - even from afar - was just everything.

They’re both pure charisma - magnetic, alluring, entrancing. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them even if you tried. It’s no wonder that the world is entranced by them. How could you not be?

[plentyoffandoms]

I want to see if you could do a Hook 4 part story where the Reader is William Regal daughter and she has knew Taz and his wife for years and hook is her best friend when her dad comes to Aew she comes with him and works backstage in the offices she is Tony's assistant and her and Hook get closer they help each other out, but one day Hook gets close to Paige VanZant and the Reader is upset but she doesn't say anything to Hook or even his dad or her dad, she doesn't hangout with Hook anymore she stays by herself, she doesn't leave her room the only time she gets out is for dinner with her dad Danielson and Moxley and Wheeler as a group or heading to work backstage, Wheeler doesn't like she is cutting everyone off because of Hook so he conference hook and puts him in his place and Hook goes to the reader and make it right between them, one thing leads to another and they get together as a couple.

Just a Friend to You

Hook x f/Reader

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me.

Warnings: swearing. Instead of 4 parts this will be one. Sorry

Word Count: 2352

Main Masterlist ♡ AEW Masterlist ♡ Hook Masterlist

Peter - Taz ☆ Tyler - Hook ☆ Paul - Wheeler Yuta

Summary: f/Reader is the daughter of William Regal & bestfriends with Hook. She ends up working for Tony Khan when her Dad joins AEW. She falls even more for Hook, but she thinks he doesn't like her like that & pushes everyone aside when she sees him with someone else.

YN'S POV:

Everything was going great at first. My Dad finally got to go back to the thing he loves the most, which is wrestling. He got to be surrounded by many of his friends and former colleagues, and I got to go along for the ride.

I started to accompany my Dad to the shows and the signings. I made sure my Dad was on time and organised and that caught the eye of the Tony Khan, one of the owners of AEW.

Tony asked me if I wanted to be his new assistant since his previous one got fired. After much consideration I took the job and I haven't looked back.

Tony is a good boss and he can be demanding but I have always loved a challenge.

The biggest challenge I face with being his assistant is that he leaves everything to the very last minute and then bombards me with a bunch of tasks, but I always get them done.

But in the mean time, I get to spend more time with my best friend, Tyler. I have known Tyler for years now as our Dad's both work in the wrestling business.

Growing up, it was hard to find friends who wanted to be just my friend and not just get close to me because of who my Dad is and Tyler understood that.

I remember calling him after going on a date with a guy when I was about 15 years old. The guy was nice and one of my friends hooked us up on a blind date.

He picked me up at my place and my Dad answered. I learned that evening was that my date was a massive fan of William Regal and I had to listen to him drone on and on about who he thought my Dad was.

The moment I got home, I called Tyler and he let me vent to him and would chime in here and there. Tyler would always tell me, "then he isn't worth your time. You will find someone YN." and that would instantly calm me down.

"Earth to YN?" Speaking of Tyler. I didn't notice that he is now standing infront of my desk.

"Oh shit, is it lunch time already?" I asked him as I looked at my watch.

"Yes, what has you so distracted?" He asked me.

"Just the finale details of the Pay-Per-View that I have to go over." Was the first lie that came to mind. I can't tell him I was thinking about him.

Not about how much I want us to be more than friends, but Tyler isn't one to settle down. He has told me before that he has no urge to be with just one person. That he enjoys being a free man and can sleep with whoever he wants too.

I knew from that moment on I could never let him know how I feel about him. I didn't want to ruin our friendship.

"Let's go. I'm starving." He isn't usually this pushy but I didn't question him as we started to walk.

He talked the whole way and I just listened. I could listen to him talk for days and never get tired of it.

He was talking and had a massive smile on his handsome face as he talked about what him and Dante did the other night.

As we were coming up to our destination, I saw that we were near a washroom. I told him to go on in without me and that I wouldn't be so long.

But Jade was in the washroom as well and as I was washing my hands, she started to ask me questions.

I answered every single one of them because it dealt with her wanting to know a bit more about what she needs to do in regards to get ready to defend her belt.

Once she was satisfied with all the answers, the two of us went our separate ways.

But as I stood at the entrance to the room, I noticed in the corner that Tyler was talking to Paige VanZant and the two of them looked awfully chummy.

I knew she was married but I also heard that her marriage has been sort of rocky lately.

I was about to walk towards the two of them to let Tyler know I was there, but then I saw him lean in to whisper something in her ear and she started to giggle and she slapped his chest in a teasing manner.

I didn't bother to stick around to see how this was going to go. I wasn't hungry anymore so I decided to just head back to the office and try and work. Maybe all the work I needed to still do would distract me enough.

But as I was leaving the room, I didn't notice the one pair of eyes looking between myself and Tyler.

Wheeler Yuta's POV:

I was just about to call YN's name when I saw walk into the room, but she was looking for someone. I saw the smile that cam over her face when she finally saw where that person was.

I already knew she was looking for Tyler, but I noticed the smile left her face and there seemed to be a bunch of different of emotions that came over her face.

I looked to where Tyler was and I saw why YN was upset. That guy is a damn fool that he can't see that YN is absolutely in love with him.

I looked back at YN and I saw her turn around and head back the same way she came. I wanted to follow her, but I knew she would be upset that I did that. So I went back to my conversation with Jon and Eddie, but I kept an eye on Tyler to see if he even noticed that YN wasn't there.

He never did.

Tyler's focus only seemed to be on Paige and for some reason that seemed to irk me.

Maybe it is because I look at YN and I see her like a sister to me. Ever since I started to work with her Dad, her and I have gotten close, so much so that the guys have started to tease me about her.

But I do not see YN like that. I really do only see her like a sister and seeing her hurt over some guy that clearly can't see what is right infront of him is killing me.

Hook's POV:

'Come on, pick up.' I thought as I waited for YN to pick up the phone, but once again it has gone straight to her voicemail. I groaned to myself and sent her another text, which I knew she would not answer.

I have been trying for days to get her to talk to me, but she has just been ignoring me and I have no idea what the hell I have done.

At first, she locked her office door and refused to open it for me. Next she ignored my text messages and now she isn't answering her phone. I know she has to be checking her voicemail because with how my voicemails I have left, her inbox would be full.

I tried to think about what I could of done to her to ignore me like this, but nothing came to mind.

But I did notice that Paul was giving me funny looks every single time I caught him looking at me. The two of us would make eye contact and he would just shake his head and look away from me.

He must know why YN is angry at me. I needed to ask him but I wanted to wait until he was alone.

Which was really hard to get him alone it seemed. He was always with someone, but then one day I saw him walking towards YN's office.

I stood around the corner and waited as he knocked on the door. I was expecting for him to be turned away like I have been lately, but to my shock, the door opened and he walked right on in and closed the door behind him.

I rushed to the door and put my ear against it, hoping I can something, but their voices were just muffled.

I must of looked crazy standing outside her door but I didn't care. I needed to know why she was ignoring me.

I waited and waited but I couldn't hear anything, only a few words here and there, but then I could hear his voice clearer. He must be coming to the door!

I quickly ran around the corner and waited for him there. I peaked around the corner and I could see him and her standing there, talking.

I am now too far away to hear anything but I could see the smile on her face but the smile did not reach her eyes.

Paul turned and started to walk in my direction so I leaned against the wall. Just as he walked past me, I spoke up.

"I see you and YN are getting awfully close." Paul stopped and looked at me. He looked me up and down before he answered.

"Not as close as you and Paige."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked him clearly confused.

"YN saw you and her getting close. You leaning in to whisper in her ear and her slapping your chest." Paul said to me.

"So? I was asking her for some boxing tips." Paul snorted at that. "Sure you were."

I took a few steps and now I am in his face. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can only think with your dick and not realise that YN is in love with you and has been for a long ass time."

"Wait what?" I took a step back as I am confused by this. "YN isn't in love with me."

"Good thing you are pretty Tyler." I got offended at that but wanted to laugh because he just called me pretty.

"Look, YN saw you and Paige the other day and she is got upset and is still upset. She hasn't really been talking to anyone, not even her Dad, who by the way is getting worried about her."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." I told him truthfully.

"I know Tyler but you have to know this. YN has stood by as you have brought back woman after woman to your hotel room. She has listened as you tell us what you did to them. Seeing you flirt with someone just broke her."

"I need you to help me Paul. She won't answer the door for me. She won't answer her phone or any messages."

"I'll do what I can."

Tag List: if you would like to be added, please let me know. @lghockey @wwenhlimagines @damnnhausen @anaeve @crowleysqueenofhell @thenerdybaker523 @legit9thlunaticwarrior

~

I found myself standing a bit away from Paul as the two of us stood outside her door. He knocked and she asked her who it was. "Just me YN."

The two of us waited for her to unlock the door. Once she did, she opened it and she asked him to come in.

I heard her heels as she walked back to her desk. I quickly ran inside and closed the door behind me, loudly by mistake.

YN turned quickly and was just about to say something, but when she saw it was me, she closed her mouth.

For the first time in almost two weeks, I am in the same room alone with YN and I had no idea what to say.

I guess I always knew she liked me, but I was stupid once and told her I didn't want to date anyone. I just wanted to have a good time.

But I always came back to YN. She never once said anything to me when I would leave her standing alone in the club so I could get my dick wet.

She would clean off the lipstick marks off my neck or put makeup on the hickies and never once did she complain.

I started to think back on the women I could remember and they always seemed to have one thing in common, they always reminded me of YN.

Maybe the same eye colour, the same hair colour. Maybe the same dress, I don't know, but they always reminded me of her.

I had to stop myself a few times from saying her name, not wanting to offend the other person as I was thinking about YN.

"I'm sorry YN." I was the first one to talk.

"It's okay Tyler." I shook my head no at her as I started to walk towards her.

"It isn't. I should of told you why I talked to Paige that day. I wanted to get some boxing tips from her."

"Sure."

"It is the truth YN. I know it looked like I was flirting but I can't help that." I sure as hell will try harder now.

"If that is all, I have work I have to do."

"Just one more thing." I said as I am know standing infront of her.

"And that is?" YN whispered.

I didn't even answer her. I leaned in and gently kissed her lips, waiting for her to slap me or push me away....but she didn't.

YN and I deepened the kiss and I wrapped my arms around her waist and puked her flush against my body. Her hands were in my hair and was pulling it.

I needed air so I pulled back slightly and I looked at her face. YN as breathing heavy and her eyes were closed.

"I love you too YN. I always have." Her eyes opened real wide at my confession.

"What?"

"I love you YN. I was a fool to try and hide my feelings from you. I could of had you all these years."

"Yes you were a fool."

"Be mine?" I asked hopefully.

"Take me out to dinner and we will see." YN teased. I already knew she was going to be mine.

[allysah]

list 5 topics you could talk about for an hour without preparing any material (i have reason to yap now).

james “jimmy” stewart.

jimmy is just like. that guy for me. i could probably go on an hours long tirade about him, his films, his characters, his relationships, his military experience, his ptsd, his politics, etc. without interruption. right now i'm specifically thinking of his relationship with henry fonda (who deserves his own honorable mention) which OH MY GOD is one of the best hollywood friendships to date. orson welles said they were either having the hottest affair in hollywood or were the straightest men alive. he realized they were the latter... anyways that leads me into:

old/classic hollywood + its underground queer scene and the hays code.

first of all just old hollywood in general i can go hours and hours about because i just love so many of the actors and actresses. leslie howard and gregory peck are other honorable mentions in that category. however, the queer folks will always be my favorite <3 people like farley granger and marlene dietrich come to mind as well as cary grant and his biwife energy. but just all of the queer undertones from then i just appreciate so, so much. also the HAYS CODE... when i get you... i've seen so many pre-code movies which are just incredible and whenever they put that damn code in place everything got boring... unless they fixed the subtext so then you have films like rope (1948) which is such a good gay film like wtf?? old hollywood is a gem and if you avoid black + white movies or just older movies in general you SUCK!!

franklin expedition.

i've written academic essays about this damn expedition and i had no sources at all. just my mind and a dream. for two years my only thoughts for a future career was becoming a franklin expedition researcher who worked in the arctic. of course that's not gonna work?? okay but these dumb mfers were some of my favorite people on this earth like COMMANDER JAMES FITZJAMES was a real person who walked this earth and i never even got close to touching him. this is sickening. captain francis crozier is ALIVE and WELL on king william island you just cannot see him. i think i will genuinely throw up if they ever find crozier's captain log on the hms terror. the desolation and sickness is just like. eye clawingly scary and i could never fathom what truly went down on that island. i feel so so bad for the cold boys and i love them so, so much.

fallout lore

here’s where i start geekin about shit. FALLOUT IS SO FUCKING GOOD I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. 3, 4 and new vegas are top tier games (yes nostalgia is clouding my head but idc) i also love 1 and 2 but genuinely cannot play a turn based game like that. okay but the entire plot of new vegas is such a top tier storyline and it’s just such a fun silly game and is like made perfectly for gay trans autistic people i love it. 4 is just The Game you play it doesn’t matter you just end up there and it’s always fun idc what the haters say PRESTON GARVEY MINUTEMEN #1!!! 3 is there. BUT ITS SO BAD ITS GOOD LIKE COME ON ITS ALMOST ENDEARING GOING BACK IN THOSE SUBWAY TUNNELS AND GETTING LOST FOR 30 MINUTES!! these games are the only reason i know the layouts of nevada, washington, d.c., and boston. thank you for the geography lesson AND the history lesson fallout. i love you.

civil war politics and battles

ok this is my latest fixation and one that came out of ABSOLUTELY no where. i literally told myself years ago to never become a civil war buff because it's so stupid and only old men like it but here we are. i for real blame this on david straithairn's portrayal of william h seward because otherwise i would NOT care (sorry ddl, i love you still). also atun-shei films and his humongous catalogue of videos. but oh my godddd i'm so obsessed with these annoying fuckers i hate them ALL. lincoln and seward are just an absolute class-act together and whenever i watched gettysburg (1993) it was just over for me. jeff daniels and c thomas howell when I CATCH YOU (I Want You)!!! it's just all so interesting i love seeing how these men ticked. it's like a zoo exhibition but with random dead racist white guys. (i also had like a 5 minute discussion about lincoln being racist today after i gave a book talk on team of rivals in my college comp. absolute all-timer)

HONORABLE MENTIONS!!!

rms titanic. film in general (i have memorized a shit load of the letterboxd catalogue and I WILL not shut up about my favorite films and directors). classic literature. us presidents. history in general. musical theatre. how arthur morgan is the best fictional character ever written period.

TAGGED BY: @rmstitanics (THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME YAP AND BASICALLY JUST RANT. SORRY!)

TAGGING: @brainandnarfunkel + no one in particular, but know if you see this i want you to… and i know you want to yap as well… :)

[lyranova]

I wish I could formulate proper words for just how much I absolutely adore your Dandelion Wishes series but really I’m still just getting “internal screaming Noelle” and keyboard smash because AHSHNDSDHS!! I am just completely and totally in love with this work! It is by far one of the greatest things I have ever read on the internet, and my life is infinitely better having gotten to read it! Thank you so so much for writing!!

First of all, you just get William! He wants to live up to people’s expectations, but he’s very humble, down to earth, and doesn’t see himself as this great, amazing magic knight captain everyone makes him out to be. At root, he’s really just a regular guy who cares about his squad and is always trying his best to do the right thing and to help the kingdom & people in need. He’s also a little bit shy and serious, but he's very kind and gentlehearted. I love this bit of comedy of errors/funny misunderstandings he finds himself in, in this story, just because he doesn’t really want to rock the boat too much or hurt Zera and Yami's feelings. His easy-going attitude of acceptance of this 'marriage' and taking it so seriously (i.e. getting a proper ring for her) is just perfect, perfect William (who really just wouldn't get the joke would he?) and absolutely lovely! (Also, it’s a tiny thing but when William says he’s going to have Zera's room expanded so there is room for her plants, my heart just melted. This man!! He is too good for this world!)

Speaking of Zera, dear goodness, I love her! I love her so much! She’s funny, quirky, spirited, and a bit plucky--marches to the beat of her own drum in the most delightful way (and she's super well-developed! Just jumps to life off the page and fits in so well with the canon characters as if she was always meant to be there!) I adore her little “devil on one shoulder, angel on the other” bit so much, and she calls her plants her babies--it’s adorable! 100% agree with Yami that she’s perfect for William! Please get married and have plant babies and real babies (read Alistair) together! I need this in my life!!

You have such a gift for dialogue also! Everything any of the canon characters said was just so spot on and perfect, I could just hear it in their voices—really helped to make the story completely immersive (and really made it feel like it could be part of the canon too). There isn’t enough space here for me to quote all of my favourite exchanges in the series so far, but here are a few:

William: “She isn’t my wife so don’t call her Mrs. Vangeance’!”

Yami: “Not with that kind of attitude she won’t be”

--

Zera: “What’s that Alecdora’s problem? He was glaring at me all throughout dinner.”

William: “Alecdora’s just protective, it’ll go away soon.”

--

And my personal favourite…

William: “I got engaged.”

Langris: “I- How- Why- What happened? You just went to the market for some fresh air!”

[I honestly had to stop reading when I got to this because I was laughing so hard! This joke just has so many layers! All I could really think about was how Langris has [canonically] been promised in an arranged marriage for essentially his entire life. Not sure if he is still promised in this arranged marriage in your universe, but I still can’t help but wonder: does he really even know how marriages happen in the wild?? ^^]

Also, David in the third chapter!! Oh my gosh!! “Soo, are you getting married so suddenly because you got someone pregnant?” All the Golden Dawn members turned to David with a mixture of shock and horror. […] “ W-What? He said to ask whatever we’d like.” I’m laughing so hard, I'm crying and my face hurts! Poor William.

I'm so excited for more of this series! Dear goodness I desperately need this meeting with all the Captains, Vice Captains, and their SOs that William mentioned! I can’t wait for the next chapter—it’s going to be epic!!

Just bless your heart for making up Zera and for writing this! It’s canon in my mind (I’ve decided)! ^^ Thank you so much for sharing, Lyra!! <3

Ahwjwjwhw Acacia 😭💕💕!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying Dandelions 🥺! Abwnwjwhwggw 🙈 thank you so much for the compliment, although I’m 90% sure there are better works on the internet than mine!

So true, William doesn’t see himself as the greatest magic knight Captain like everyone else (although I feel like he is incredibly proud of his squad and all their hard work on making the GD the “best” squad)!

Yess although I can’t take full credit for the story idea, @thoughtfullyrainynightmare helped me with it and gave me the whole “marriage joke” idea that the plot is based on 😁😅! So I give her lots of credit for Dandelions 🥰!

Poor William really wouldn’t get the joke 😭, especially when he see’s Zera and Yami both taking it *so* seriously that in his mind they had to be serious 😂! Ahwjsj I’m glad you enjoyed the part where he was expanding her room for her plants 🥺, I feel like that was probably the first thing he noticed when they had met was how important her flowers and plants were to her so he wanted to make sure they would also have space at the GD base!

Aaahhhh thank you I’m so glad you love Zera 🥺😭💕! Tbh she’s probably one of my most developed OC’s besides Alistar and Neva, and I’ve been kind of playing around with her “secretly” for over a year (as in I haven’t written/posted anything more then a couple of oneshots, but there are a lot of snippets of her on discord 🤣!). Hehe the “angel and devil” on her shoulder wasn’t originally going to be in the chapter, but as I started writing it suddenly Kronk from Emperors New Groove popped into my head and it just fit Zera and the scene so well 😂!

Abwjwjhaw thank you 😭, honestly I have a love-hate relationship with Dialogue. It’s one of my favorite things to write, but then sometimes it’s one of the things I hate most 🤣! But I’m glad you enjoy it 🥺💕!

Ahwjw those are some of my favorite quotes too, and actually the first quote was an edited/partially rewritten exchange that @/thoughtfullyrainynightmare and I did on discord, although I think i completely rewrote Yami’s line for Dandelions 😅🤔. The Alecdora quote I enjoyed writing because I remembered how Alecdora is protective of William and how he (and Langris) have a feeling that she’s just using William so they automatically don’t like her (much like Alecdora acted with Yuno at first). But ofc William knows it’s just Alecdora being, well, Alecdora XD!

The last quote is also one of my favorites too, and it was anexchange between Laura and I on discord too 😂. She had William say he was engaged and I responded (as Langris) with an “I’m sorry what?” gif and we both just found it so funny so I included it in the chapter but I rewrote Langris’s line 😅😂! Tbh…I kinda forgot Langris was “engaged” to Finesse while writing this 👀, but honestly he probably doesn’t realize how marriages happen in the wild 😭!

Ahwjw That part was sooo much fun to write because, well, that’s probably where *everyones* mind went when William announced he was getting married but they just didn’t want to say anything 😂! But ofc David just says the first thing that comes to mind and it’s true, William *did* tell them to ask whatever they wanted (although I don’t think he thought they would ask that question!)😅😂😭!

Hehe luckily the next chapter will mostly consist of the meeting with the other Captain’s and their S/O’s and it doesn’t *quite* go like how Zera imagines it will 🤣!!

Ahjwjw and thank *you* for reading it and reviewing it Acacia🥺💕, seeing reviews like this always makes me (and other writers!) so happy 🥺😭💕💕💕!!

[ssavanessa22]

Birthday Girl

Summary: after a long day of celebrating your birthday you and Spencer reflect on the future

Warnings: pregnancy

Paring: Spencer x pregnant! Fem! Reader

A/n: happy birthday @makailaa your ask for swallowed by tumblr but I hope you had a wonderful day and I hope you like this and a massive shout out to @boldlyvoid for being my beta and really helping me with this fic go read her fics guys they are an incredible writer. And I’m 5 away from 100 followers so please follow you won’t regret it :)

He was never really a fan of birthdays; after William left and it was just him and Diana, he never had time to celebrate like how a normal kid would. He was busy taking care of his mother. He was never around his peers much growing up, never having the typical experience that the average american child would. As he got older the fewer people he had to celebrate being on this earth for another 365 days.

“You could say he hated his birthday. Well, he hated it until he had someone to celebrate it with, and now that person just so happened to be you.”

Not only did you give him a new lease on life, you made him want to celebrate things like birthdays again just so he could see your face beam with happiness and surprise whenever he did something for you. All the stress of finding something for you was worth it for him because he knew every year after your birthday, like clockwork, you would call your mother 10 pm on the dot and spend a good half hour telling her how your birthday was; what spencer and your friends got you for your birthday, and how much you were loved.

And like clockwork after your phone call with your mother where you would always promise that you and spencer would come visit soon and an araye of I love you’s, you left the living room at 11:30pm and made your way to your bed to spend the last 30 minutes of your birthday with the man you love

You were a bit worried that Spencer would already be asleep; between working at the bau, grading papers and helping Derek renovate the new house you were going to move into, he had a lot on his plate. But as you got into playing with his hair, his body facing away from you, he turned around and rubbed his nose against yours “how was your yearly birthday conversation this time, love?”

“I didn't know you were still awake? I thought you had gone to bed?”

He feigned a joking look of betrayal and shock “me going bed without pillow talk with the birthday girl? That would be blasphemy, how do you think so low of me?”

“Okay , I am sorry that I would assume. In my defence, however, you have been falling asleep on me without pillow talk for the last 2 weeks so...”

slotting himself into your neck, he replied, “that’s different, baby, because all those days weren’t your birthday. Your birthday is a special day.”

“oh, okay ,well that makes a lot more sense now thanks you for explaining, and thank you for today this has been the best birthday ever, and me and mum just spoke about you know usual”

“Did you tell her about-''

“no, god no, I think if I told my mother that we were pregnant over the phone and not in person she would kill me and then you. we’ll tell her when we visit in two weeks” he left a flurry of kisses as he began rubbing his hand over your small baby bump.

“yeah probably for the best she would have burst your eardrum through the phone with how loud her reactions would have been”

“I love you and I love our little nugget and I love our life so much.”

he starts laughing into your neck he questions,”nugget? You have named our unborn child nugget?”

“I just poured my heart out to you and that’s all you're gonna take away from what I said is nugget.”

even though he was still laughing he answered “no, no, i was listening to the other stuff as well i just was blindsided by the name nugget, but I love you, too, and I love our life and I love nugget so much. Happy birthday, my love.”

“I love you, baby, thank you for the best birthday ever.”

As you turned to face away from him so he could be the big spoon his hand landed on your small bump slowly rubbing it up and down thinking about how his view on birthdays had changed so much since being with and having the love and support he desperately needed when he was younger, again thinking about how he would have another birthday to be just as excited for he lowered his face to be level with the small bump in your belly.

“Hey, little nugget, your mummy and daddy love you very much and would do anything for you, anything, and every birthday we will get you anything you want, and we will love you and support you no matter who you become. Your mummy is obsessed with birthdays, so even though I’m not well versed in them, you will always have the best day possible.”

Groggily you interrupted Spencer “don’t think I haven’t already planned your birthday extravaganza Spencer, ” poking your belly, “you too nugget birthdays 1 to 6 are gonna be bangers!”

Spencer Reid taglist 🏷

@idonotexiste

Don’t forget to like and reblog and send and ask or message to be added to my taglist

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[littlemisspascal]

Pedro Pascal Characters as Element Benders

This has probably been done before, but I watched an episode of ATLA earlier and thought wow, I wonder what Pedro’s characters would be and thus this was written in about 15 minutes. It’s probably not very good cuz it’s so rushed, but read on if you want to see my headcanons for the boys.

Also if anyone out there wants to come up with their own versions, I’d love to see what you imagine ❤

Javier - firebender, definitely. I mean, the guy smokes more than any other character I’ve seen on tv and I love the mental image of him lighting a cigarette using his own hands. His anger, too, at the corruption of the government I imagine as a fire constantly burning away inside of him, making his skin warm to the touch and his snappy retorts scorch the ears of anyone who gets on his bad side.

Max -- waterbender only because he’d totally master bloodbending through it. He’s a vampire so of course blood has to factor in somewhere. His bending skills in combination with his hypnotism ability means he’d essentially be the most dangerous predator in the whole office building, inflating his arrogance beyond measure in the process.

Whiskey - waterbender because if Katara can use a water whip then Whiskey would definitely make use of one too. Enemies would think he carries a flask full of alcohol, but it’s really full of H2O ready to unleash upon them as a powerful wave. 

Pero - I really feel like he’d be an earthbender. I just picture him grumpily stomping the ground whenever William pisses him off (which is often) and sending a wall of rock directly at the Irish man’s face. Or if he gets really stubborn then he’ll just build himself a little rock fortress to block out the rest of the world and give him a minute of solace so he can pretend aliens don’t exist.

Oberyn - firebender, no questions asked. I mean, I don’t know much about GOT but I know Oberyn constantly wears a yellow robe with suns on it, plus I’ve seen a lot of interviews where Pedro talks about the prince’s passionate personality makes him impulsive. All those characteristics to me scream firebender and wouldn’t it have been awesome if during his final fight he actually breathed fire?!

Marcus P - this sweetheart is totally an airbender. He just seems like such a tenderhearted man and wants to help anyone in need whether that be sending them a cool breeze in the middle of a hot summer day or helping get a child’s kite down from a tree with one well-aimed current. Aesthetically I imagine his hair always looking fluffy and windblown, making his lover want to run their hands through his hair all hours of the day and he’d love every second of it.

Maxwell - earthbender. It’s canon he has a passion for gemology and an interest in oil and I mean, he literally becomes the dreamstone (sorry, spoilers) so in my mind it stands to reason he’d be a pretty good earthbender. Another spoiler (sorry) from the movie is that scene where the giant wall rises out of nowhere and blocks off the city? Imagine Maxwell doing it because that rich oil man pissed him off with his condescending personality. Everyone would know to never make a joke out of Maxwell Lord ever again.

Marcus M - airbender. I mean, the movie doesn’t really show what Marcus’ powers are precisely other than apparently he’s got a pair of katanas, so I think it’d be cool if instead of just having a really strong bond with a pair of weapons, he bends air to send them flying into his hands. Also that scene where he leaps at the alien and gets captured? It was a super high jump so I could totally see him using his airbending to help give him a boost. (I got nothing in this headcanon to explain why he uses the little droid to fly around though, so let’s just pretend that doesn’t exist).

Ezra - of course he’s an earthbender. Just like Maxwell, it’s canon this guy has a passion for digging stuff out of the ground and becoming rich off of it. I imagine it’d be a little hard for him to relearn how to bend with only one arm after the events of the movie, but maybe he could use his feet like Toph does and master a form of bending unlike any other seen before. He would also use his massive vocabulary and honey-sweet tongue to confuse/charm competing prospectors right before he makes the ground disappear beneath them. 

Din - I thought long and hard about this one and I kept coming back to earthbending only because the Mandalorians would teach him to learn metalbending through it. He would use it to get dents out of his armor as well as fix his beloved Razor Crest, but without a doubt the most important thing he’d use his bending for would be to play catch with Grogu and the little metal ball. The cuteness would kill all of us. 

Frankie - I see him as an airbender. He’s a pilot at heart, loves to soar above the earth through the clouds. When he was a kid, he definitely had one of those gliders like Aang does in the show and showed off to Santi just how high he could fly (I totally believe him and Santi were childhood friends, you can’t change my mind). There is nothing he loves more than the breeze ruffling his hair and occasionally using his airbending against the boys when they’re misbehaving by sending their hats flying off their heads. 

Dave - this murder-loving suburban dad is a firebender. He’s the type to burn at a low simmer, deceiving those around him by thinking he’s calm and collected, but he’ll burn you to ash the second you tick him off or get in the way of his plans. It also would explain why he lost so badly at the end of the movie because the torrential rain would weaken even the strongest of firebenders. 

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[sugar-petals]

Baekhyun Doms You: Ending Up Laughing

↳⎡NOTE.⎦thought this’d be an interesting concept & a different side to smut: what if you try things out and it’s both not your thing? w/ a humorous twist and subby bf moments sprinkled in 😄

♡  words. 4k

+ tags ⚠️ pwp hc, bondage, throatfucking, graphic, cum play, unsafe/clumsy practice: do not recreate, degradation, biting, masochist bbh, domme!reader switches unsuccessfully, whips, hair-pulling

imagine that. a wide-eyed baekhyun pacing and tiptoeing in front of your toy shelf, trying to pick a riding crop he fancies. it takes five minutes and several ‘uhh, ohh’ confused puppy noises until he’s able to decide which one he’s taking. 

...literally even if he knows exactly which one does what. you’ve used all of them on him. 

meanwhile, you take three seconds flat to pull out one that fits your mood and proceed to edge the living shit out of him. yes, without literal further ado. teasing his dick and marking his thighs and doing all kinds of delicious things. 

he’s still going back and forth in his head without having even started out. cutely tapping and swaying from one foot to the other. 

it’s like he’s back to school. priceless.

what’s even more hilarious: baekhyun practices random mean facial expressions while trying to decide. he doesn’t seem to be sure what character he’s going for. it feels like he’s rehearsing for a concert or photoshoot, even. absolutely fascinating to watch. 

i mean he’s absolutely photogenic no doubt about that but

you’re sitting on the bed waiting naked like okay is this gonna be william shakespeare deluxe or what is kyoong channelling over there

“um... i think i got it! this one, okay? i’m ready!”

finally he walks over, strutting with his nose in the air and his eyes glaring, muscles tense, a mysterious bad boy charm about him, whip ready to sting, lips tight and punitive...

....and hits his pinky toe on the bed

oh the pain

great master baekhyun flops headfirst into the sheets processing the existential cruelty of bedpost pinewood and needs head pats to recover

lots of head pats

at least twenty of them

so many head pats

more time passes until kyoong is back in character i guess

you probably could have listened to exo’s whole discography in the meantime

and knitted a rug for taemin’s new flat

anyway

baekhyun tries to act very confidently finally getting into it 

adopting a sharp ‘hmph’ kind of tone 

endlessly teasing your back and thighs with the riding crop

so far so good sir pinky toe

but he just goes on and on

you could actually crochet a pair of socks for chen’s daughter now that you think about it

it’s you who has to tell him to get to the point and it’s clear he’s more nervous than he pretends to show

to be fair he’s not the only one

you try to get yourself mentally ready but you find yourself giving him actual orders and even correcting his stance five times cuz he’s so wobbly on the mattress like a pupper indeed

baekhyun mumbles to himself and has a hard time fully implementing the advice on posture but tries to aim well regardless. it seems to work at first

but tragically

he ends up with a miss, hitting his own thigh rather than your ass and moans out loud

now you’re the one confused because you were waiting for the whip to come down

but nope it went elsewhere did it

you wonder how he managed to do all that furious fencing in the obsession mv with an aim like that

looks like he’s so submissive, he straight up whips himself

taking matters into his own hands is he. subs these days.

baekhyun keeps on being wobbly on the bed and looks like he ran a marathon already

may i remind you that this guy does 3-hour long concerts and can practice throughout an entire night

... you both agree to immediately scratch that completely after his next flailing strike sends the riding crop flying into his unsuspecting, non-consenting plushie collection

animal cruelty

moving on

you figure that a change of location might be a good idea

baekhyun sits you down on a chair and bashfully stores away the yeeted whip

he vows to never use a riding crop again already and his teddy bears are thankful for it

now the whole plushie village and whole china knows how you don’t do it

next up is rope

what could possibly go wrong

he practiced wrist bondage on his own ankles for five days straight, you really prepared a lot of things to test out together today 

and he’s seen you tie him up over and over and over

but whatever it is that he manages to install on your arms 

looks like a piece of very experimental modern art that just sold for half a million at sotheby’s

what’s supposed to be a column tie is nothing but a mere... ball

chaotic like baekhyun’s personality. not surprising at all

wait that rhymed

anyhow

even alexander the great couldn’t have cut this gordian knot of a tangly masterpiece

ironically: while baekhyun’s roughly grabbing your chin for an intense kiss... the rope casually falls apart harder than the soviet union in 1991 my loves, you ain’t ready

baekhyun takes ages to notice while he’s teasing and kissing you and ends up sweating bullets when he realizes that the sublime art fell to pieces.

sorry comrade 

the fantasy knots and artistic freedom increases even more when it comes to putting a collar and leash on you

and his guy is supposed to be a dog owner? mongryong, instruct your man

baekhyun is a flustered mess trying to fasten it on you even if he tries very hard to be concentrated

maybe it’s because you’re watching him with literal hawk eyes checking every move (...hoping he learned something from you oh my). you’re not really melting into your role either, huh. the only thing melting is your pussy because baekhyun is acting so embarrassed which is the actual turn-on

if that doesn’t give you away

the leash comes off in two minutes time after baekhyun miraculously ties his own hands together with it

how the fuck did that happen

how do you even manage to do that

eager are we

after whipping his own thigh, self-domination 2.0 i guess

so whipping and bondage are off the programme 

this has been the most chaotic and hazardous attempt at topping in the history of sm entertainment

and they’re literally called s and m

...humiliation is next

when you planned your session you both figured hey he’s tested and tried by exo’s lively debate culture and he might be able to pull that off

and there are no props involved so he’ll have an easy time right

life is an illusion

you find out he can’t pronounce degrading names clearly because he keeps on stuttering them. which in return makes baekhyun crack up. 

carrying on the joke, you correct him every time. 

“i want you to repeat after me: stupid, slutty, bitch.”

it ends up as you doing what you always do 

teaching and training him while baekhyun either shyly or brattily obliges. you don’t even notice how you’re doing it but from the outside, it’s blatantly obvious.

because your brain is still feeling in domme mode, you also find yourself saying the usual things to him without thinking, even when he grabs you and gives orders. “now bend over! i’m gonna fuck your brains out.” — “okay, cutie!” 

which causes baekhyun’s mean face to collapse and he snap out of his command tone immediately, snorting because it’s the last thing he expected

he tries to carry on by punishing you with an actual mouth gag and a harness he can hold onto while fucking you from behind, i mean your pussy is already wet why not

guess what’s gonna ensue

wearing a harness feels kind of strange and new so you wiggle back and forth and all over the place. like what is this, what’s happening. baekhyun’s dick is going into all kinds of directions my friends, the amusement park carousel surely inspired this fucking style right here. 

and wearing a gag — there’s a way different person who needs to have this in his chatty mouth. 

kai and kyungsoo’s dream would come true and yet you’re the one gagged 

something ain’t right

if you’re honest. you’re feeling so weird being on the other end of punishment tonight and not being able to give him any directions. your dom brain is worrying he’s all left to his own devices trying to drive that confused dick home left and right and above and below and diagonal and crosswise. 

the fuck

your poor guts my god

what’s worse: his stamina is gonna sneak up behind him and tap on his shoulder like... bro that’s enough pounding for a whole month please spare these balls from deflating please do not break this device

to which your pussy agrees in unison

how are you gonna love your bub day in day out if you’re that sore

there’s nothing more frustrating than being sore and horny with byun baekhyun at your disposal

or a knocked out boyfriend trying to generate at least a sprinkle of semen after getting completely emptied in one go

probably sleeping for three days straight

alright so the harness and gag come off fast oh dear baekhyun clears those away in a heartbeat

that’s another point off the list 

the more you know

carousel cringe dicking down type of dominance... bizarre, disorderly, totally erratic, not on the agenda, worst rated on bing 

comrade baekhyun keeps on apologizing for making things so messy even if he tries and tries

you’re both so puzzled because you’re used to something so different and need a water chugging pause

baekhyun hasn’t sweated this hard since doing the MAMA choreography

and your pussy has never had to provide this much lubrication at once

where on earth is both of your usual stamina what happened

if a type of sex exhausts you fast and even baekhyun’s balls are suddenly moody you just know you’re wired in the opposite way

safe to say you’re better at giving and baekhyun is better at taking

leave the multidirectional powerfucking to kai or something

and being orderly to xiumin

another rug could have been knitted my friends 

moving on dot org

so, you both figure to take it easier and try to go with something he usually does in passing. you know, turning a typical baekhyun habit into something you can try out casually in bed so he can tease you.

that one should work out right?

proceed: teeth action. you seated, him positioning himself above you. after your approval baekhyun pulls your hair back to expose your neck — so he can deliciously bite into it (or so was the plan). 

reality: his hand gets tangled up completely. 

while he’s busy nibbling and giggling about like a lil’ bunny chomping at a carrot that turns out to be extremely ticklish herself. 

in fact, you start squeaking out a wonky high pitch, startling baekhyun’s fine musical ear to the bone by the obvious atonality. did she just try to outsing my vocal range with a creaking whistle note? 

mariah carey would cancel you on twitter over this one

that’s how you turn a vicious, possessive bite into an eternal meme

every time either of you go for a neck kiss, you end up imitating each other. baekhyun has immortalized himself as a nervous chomping bunny and you as the vocalist anti-christ

lord have mercy

you miss your old sex life already and it’s only been two hours

cause you see... if baekhyun gives you the chance to bite him? he needs a set of long sleeves, scarves, and an extra soft pillow to sit down on for the next two days

like, no mercy bitch

you get right down to business and ravage him and do it properly until he cums in his pants

sure, the way he uses his tongue now is definitely kinda hot mind you

baekhyun is always good with his singing equipment that doesn’t suddenly change aye

and you keep your eyes closed

but with time you notice that he starts drooling and whimpering. baekhyun’s wet mouth is out there betraying him, huh.

same with your body. your reactions give you away, body language just won’t lie. you have a damn hard time staying still. you wanna do something, you wanna touch and guide baekhyun all over.

and vice versa baekhyun keeps on glitching and doing the same thing he really became a living tumblr gif now

this whole session is just so confusing and laced with all these moments of awkwardness it’s really telling you something about yourself and mister pinky toe’s ideal dynamic

baekhyun can’t even get himself to even lightly slap you properly. and when he does, his delicate hands are just so cute. it’s as if legolas came along, scented in jasmine, elegant and fabulous like it’s a l’oreal commercial

he immediately looks concerned after he manages to do it cleanly and you admit it wasn’t really that exciting a feeling yourself. it felt more like, “um ouch, and?”

needless to say, you’re weirded out if anything, baekhyun smacking and dragging you around as a cold-as-ice dom is just a strange thing to do for both of you 

like even exo’s wolf era fashion was more coherent than this carrot fuckery

and those were some of the most intense turtlenecks ever 

is there really nothing dominant baekhyun can pull off. come on he’s the genius idol 

actually 

there’s something that does work out for once

because no rule without exceptions indeed

because hey, you can learn something anyway, it’s the whole point of you going through a list of things to try as a couple

baekhyun is good at doing the more hardcore, faster kind of fingering. who would have thought, totally surprising, revolutionary i know. but that’s where you’re both agreeing hey, there’s some untapped potential you can use for the steamier evenings you have going. 

cuz wow, he can get you off with flying colors. 

...only to succumb to a malfunctioning bobohu wrist 

even baekhyun’s boner for your legs in latex isn’t that stiff

it’s another pause until his hand loosens up again

this poor man just can’t win

and if you’re asking oi hard domming isn’t the only thing you can do

baekhyun trying to summon his inner soft dom: surprise, same old tale. here we go again.

your boyfriend thinks he generally looks way too puppy-like to be your big ole buff daddy taking care of you. oversized sweater, fluffy hair and all. 

you say to him well, it’s not that doms can’t wear casual things. but it’s true that you have to feel your role and find yourself believable. regardless of your looks, in fact. 

unless your partner really enjoys you dressing up as some kind of dominant hyper-archetype? looking the part is relatively unimportant if you’re absolutely made for dominance you say

pretty eye-opening moment for him

in your roleplay, he caresses and kisses you to the point, he can approach and lead you to do this or that position, don’t be mistaken. and he’s good at making presents, he’s indulging you perfectly well and actually likes doing it. but... it still ends up being more vanilla than not a few hours in. the d/s is out the door almost automatically the longer you do it.

at the end, it leaves you with a feeling of “but err, what now? give the maid outfit to charity?” 

baekhyun rubs his neck in search for something else to do, both of you staring at each other with expressions blanker than kyungsoo when a prancing chanyeol is acting up.

how did the quote go again. if you scramble for inspiration, let it be?

it’s exactly that situation when baekhyun soft doms. he can hold you tight and do his thing for a while, but the chemistry of your roles is dwindling into a question mark.

in fact. there’s an uneasy silence as if great mother suho was sitting right beside you critiquing baekhyun’s sugar daddy skills

baekhyun is rich like a motherfucker and can’t even call you ‘my innocent lil’ baby girl’ without looking like he just learned a first grade tonguetwister by heart

you did play your parts with less cracking up, but you clearly tell him that there’s still something strangely clueless and “ah, awkward” (baekhyun’s verdict in response, verbatim) in between the two of you. 

when you take care of baekhyun and tuck him in, you hardly run out of ideas. it just goes on and on. even when you played through an entire scene, you both come up with things to extend the scenario because it’s so much fun. you make him a hot chocolate, massage his feet, brush his hair, do some extra light bondage with a silk ribbon around his ankles to make him feel pretty, feed him pizza, have him cuddle up in your lap, pinch his ass, and do some rimming if he’s feeling a bit hornier. 

the spoiling is nice at the start, but there’s something missing. you want to lead his hands and really treat him, and do it all the time, and baekhyun really finds himself craving it as well. 

baekhyun soft domming quickly turns into — well just normal loving makeouts and gestures. you kiss and touch, there’s nothing hierarchical about it, nothing mega juicy or exciting.

you just don’t get into the groove, you know. there’s nothing particular happening if you try to get into those roles. it doesn’t titillate both of you for an extended period of time, it doesn’t make you curious for more. it’s like... shrug. what about it. 

when you usually dominate, you know something hits home when you think about it all day. baekhyun screaming and crying with his legs twitching pops up whenever you close your freaking eyes goddamn.

you make a note to observe whether you’re going about your daily business thinking about how you could be his innocent good girl. following his every whim, making big eyes at him or something. 

result: more shaky, ruined baekhyun moaning his soul out in the highest of notes and leaking cum everywhere from getting choked and his face sat on. 

daddy baekhyun has simply not crossed your mind. in fact, poor guy no chance to fit in there from the get-go. his particularly whorish, extra subby counterpart is all over your brain cells with his tongue out. and you’re very tempted to grab it between your thumb and index and spit in his mouth for some very good measure. maybe cum in it as well.

um. so there’s that. the more you know.

baekhyun figures as much himself and you try the other side of the equation. oh, oh. here comes hard dom baekhyun.

who gets you on your knees and starts a wild deepthroat session while calling you names. that’s all well and good... nope. your gag reflex decides to yeet some weird coughing facial expressions and reflex cock bites at poor baekhyun who doesn’t know what’s happening. to finish him off completely, you sneeze while having a hiccup and his dick slips out. 

... you both safeword at the same time.

that cleanup has scarred you both for life. what the everloving fuck. no more impulse throatfucking in this pure christian household, then. 

you’ll stick to lazy, twirling, indulgent blowjobs and the usual ruined orgasms for him — the actually planned ones, jesus christ.

like seriously. you invented a whole new language with those confused gargling noises and that wasn’t french, it was advanced level klingon. baekhyun repeats asking if you’re okay and you’re still stuck realizing oh hell, that was not pretty. off the bucket list, you like sucking him off but this style just doesn’t come natural to you. 

the popsicles you could train yourself with are usually gone from the freezer within a day after getting the groceries. baekhyun is wholeheartedly addicted to them. 

he loves cheating on his diet since you told him his fully cheeks are your emotional support squish and kiss pillows, so.

baekhyun rightfully insists he’s better at eating pussy the wild way in the first place — and that you have no business choking on his dick like you’re on hot ones eating the world’s spiciest whatever is trending now.

or actually... baekhyun’s dick can’t be compared to a chili pepper if we’re doing a choking analogy alright. that just doesn’t fit his promotion concept. cinnamon stick is more like it.

ever saw one of these terrible cinnamon spoon videos where reckless people try to defeat god by— anyway, you’ve seen them. that’s how you looked like trying to get your mouth fucked. i think god would actually be defeated by how far away from divine elegance that was and you’re so sorry for subjecting baekhyun to this artless display. 

cinnamon is still best used in small doses. say, for garnishing a creamy cake or pie y’know. 

anyway. you dished up the most butchered attempt at sexy gagging in history and so, baekhyun will preach for days how he’s the one chosen by fate to push down seven big fat inches of your strap still half asleep without even blinking. 

... and that his world-class operatic breath control would probably enable him to bury his face in your pussy on mount everest. baekhyun knows that every domme would sell her soul to get a sub as skilled with breathing as him.

...and that he has the official copyright for giving quality slobbery oral with quality smudged tears. as he will demonstrate to you almost daily from then on. king of messy head and going stupid with the tongue acrobatics. ugh, the noises are amazing, too. give him a grammy for his oral sounds.

gotta leave the heavy-duty work to the experts innit.

at dinner, he also poutingly brags how he can make his spit run out of his nose while he’s sucking himself through your entire dildo collection. and blow spit bubbles. and snort his own semen off his thighs and let it drop off his tongue if he’s in a particularly slutty mood. or a creampie. jeez, baekhyun, the wolf of wallstreet is strong in him. you literally have to stop him from showing off because “hey boy, i already know! i’ve seen it last week bro it was good!”

needless to say he’s talking in essays all day because he wants things go back to normal and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

for real, your candy man with the cinnamon stick has been suffering from the love bites and has to retire his cock for two days from the bruising. 

mind you. the pain he can deal with. that ain’t the problem. by all means, man. he’s a fucking masochist. 

it’s actually more like... submissive you has deactivated his boner and he can’t help it. it’s not you that makes him limp, it’s more like, the klingon choking and the ton of mishaps that just don’t sit right. 

baekhyun feels bad about not doing well enough to make both of you have a good time as well which is lowkey heartbreaking. you have to cheer him up with ‘now repeat after me: stupid, slutty bitch’ jokes to make him chuckle at least a bit.

cuz you gotta understand, baekhyun is very ambitious to develop his talents in all areas of life. if there’s a skill he gets stuck with and he can’t work with his potential, that’s so unusual to him.

and you say man, imagine if you were some kind of uber-talented dom. that’d still not make me sneeze any less.

if you dominate him, it feels easy to do. nothing can really ruin the mood, not even when the lube runs out (baekhyun drools enough to make anything slippery okay). 

except maybe when xiumin rings on landline because he left his favorite fluffy sweater in the subway and needs to vent about it. my god that’s such a tear-jerking story i’m close to sobbing. this shit could kill literally any boner.

or when your hand cramps up after shoving your fingers down his throat and in his ass for like half an hour which should be ranked first as the saddest anime betrayal of all time but it’s justifiable and you had a lot of fun beforehand.

in other words. only the things outside of your control tend to mess with your femdom business. in and of itself, nothing can kill your vibe except a dying battery obviously. 

whereas you trying submission oddly spoils the atmosphere from the inside out and provides a free cringe compilation. like without even doing much, it happens automatically. 

baekhyun relishes in dramatically recounting how you both looked like true clowns attempting a rendition of overexpensive, extra tangly contemporary art bondage. hell, not even employed clowns, completely retired ones, struggling to regain their tightrope tricks from summer 1912 when harry houdini was still hot shit in town. 

you say oh god, that wasn’t even worth a retired clown’s skillset, clowns work damn hard man. you’d be hardpressed to find any circus artist capable of cracking a whip onto themselves baekhyun-style and moaning out loud because it was this good. seriously. that was one for the books.

if baekhyun tried to set foot in some willy-nilly maledom porn, he’d be capable of firing himself on the first day. 

at the end, you just have a good laugh, man. you agree — hey, this ain’t it, but it’s good to know at least. tried and tested, been there, done that. self-whipping and carrot-nibbling and blowjob hiccups.

if you’re both so hopeless and living up to the challenge managed to upset poor mariah carey instead of giving you a hot and steamy time, you very well know where you belong. that’s a good feeling. assuring and a confidence boost for your skills. it makes up for all the clumsiness actually. 

exactly because the try-out part was an entire disaster, domming baekhyun will be even more fun, you can’t see it becoming anywhere near boring. it never really was, but now you know where your strong suits are even more so. and — what to avoid, anyway. 

no more unsafe practice and teddy whipping under this roof my friend

and something to incorporate more often which is baekhyun unleashing his very creative, pianoesque fingering skills on you.

you have lots of anecdotes to rile each other up as well. or, at least, tease another a bit. your high note was too legendary not to be remembered.

baekhyun will use all of these things against you in a positive way if you get what i mean. he’ll say how you being so strangely vocal made him realize just how commanding and compelling your sexy time voice is when you tell him how to kneel, how to kiss, how to revere.

and you teasing him how clumsy a dom he is makes baekhyun more self-assured in his subbing abilities. he knows for a fact you’ve not once roasted him about how well he can use his pretty mouth. cuz it’s the real deal. sloppy, skilled, and eager to please. he’s damn right about that.

hitting his toes has ruined baekhyun’s whole career as a dom and he was mad at first but he did realize that beside the clumsiness, subbing just suits him well as a principle

your experience gives you even more anticipation for all the sex you will have in the future. 

you already knew what you both liked. you know it even more now, it’s underlined, it’s a big relieved yes. no more cringey “daddy, daddy, choke me please!” worship. time to make his day and sit on baekhyun’s perfect face to fuck the shit out of it. 

or you know, actually land a whip on his juicy boyfriend thighs and listen to those heavenly loud reactions in a dead-on pitch (he usually moans in C minor).

long story short and cinnamon sticks aside. it’s even more fun now. you just love your cute subby boy just as he is. he doesn’t have to try to be anything else or step up his game. he’s so ideal just doing what he does like a real angel.

more subby stuff: m.list + ao3

↳⎡FINAL NOTE⎦i love writing crack lmao i hope you were rolling on the floor like i did 😂 write me your favorite part in the comments so we can laugh again and buy me a ko-fi if you wanna 👍

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[linddzz]

Will/Tenzing for the ship ask :)

HI I DIDNT FORGET THIS ok i kind of did temporarily my bad

when I started shipping it if I did: I already thought Tenzing was a super cool dude and was entertained by him and Will going from bitchily poking at each other with the most aggressively passive aggressive manners to making mutual promises of “hey youre actually cool, I’ll stop being a dick if you stop being a dick” after one late night sewer chase. Then Tenzing motherfuckin Tharkay just showed up with 20 feral dragons that he went halfway across the continent and back for just so he could have his shining moment of leaning all suave against the wall behind Will going “Heard you needed some dragons” like the coolest fuckin mcCool kid to every try and look extra cool in front of their crush and I had to put the book down and just take a moment to process it. my thoughts: God I do love me some “majestic heroic type with more bullheaded honor than common sense” paired with “the sarcastic and more chaotically good guy rolling their eyes and kinda mad at themselves for being so into this heroic dipshit.” What makes me happy about them: Watching them be the two stoic and snarky twits who can communicate almost entirely with raised eyebrows and ten layers of meanings hidden in dry commentary. Tenzing seems to just get Will more than almost any other character and visa versa. Tenzing being the guy who is consistently able to get Will out of his own head with just a couple words??? Fucking incredible. And there was a bit where Will notes that with Tenzing you gotta pay attention to what’s unsaid as much as what is said, and he is then able to acknowledge the unsaid bits with just like...the smallest gesture that Tenzing then returns in this damn intricate ritual of them both being SO BAD at expressing themselves but SO GOOD at knowing how to work around that with each other. I also find it really really funny to imagine Tenzing from the START was needling at Will partially because “fuck this British gentleman” and also “fuck this asshole who is too hot i hate how hot he is” and then that moment in Istanbul where Tenzing realizes Will is a legit good dude and all the honor shit is not a show or front and he’s just like “oh no” from then on out. What makes me sad about them: Besides the personal angst bits that each of them has just as characters the pairing itself is all good. They go and become “””roommates””” and probably spend a hilarious amount of time dancing around each others piles of baggage and emotional walls until the tension in that manor is nearly obscene. things done in fanfic that annoys me: Gotta be real with yall, I have not read fanfic for this but always want recs things I look for in fanfic: tbh I want William Lawrence’s Bisexual Panic but make it Funny and Not Angsty Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: no one on earth can blame Will if he ever decided to embrace a life of being Admiral Jane Rowlands personal beefcake. My happily ever after for them: they GOT IT BABEY who is the big spoon/little spoon: Will is a cuddler (when there are no outside witnesses to see such a display or emotion) and cuddling Tenzing is like trying to hug a cat. Sometimes the cat is into it and will quietly accept it while pretending they are not affected, sometimes the cat is gonna squirm around clawing at the wall trying to ooze away.  And not cuddling related exactly but oh man the way he is so verbally affectionate with Temeraire makes me think that Will is a “my darling” sort and I don’t think Tenzing is prepared to process that and it would be hilarious. what is their favorite non-sexual activity: arguing about politics and going on last minute poorly thought out adventures

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

The After Chronicles

Summary: After Earth and all of the planets around it were officially deemed uninhabitable, humanity was forced to move into massive spacecrafts carrying the new intra-galactic colonies. All was well until the universe-altering black hole, which tore through one of the last surviving intra-galactic communities and caused all of humanity to start over yet again. Two weeks later, things are beginning to return to normalcy, and people are finally returning home from the wreckage perimeter of the event horizon— among them, William Ortega, known more frequently as Willie, or Alex Mercer’s best friend. Alex has known him for years, known what a firecracker he is, so to see his friend return as though his light has been put out, well, it’s almost as disorienting as everything else that’s been going on.

Link to Masterlist

Word Count of Chapter: 1,353

———

Chapter 1: are you still starting fires?

Alex tries not to think about it too much.

This proves to be difficult, given he overthinks about, well, everything, and this particular thing is just. Too important.

Long story short, years ago, after Earth and all of the planets around it were officially deemed uninhabitable, humanity was forced to move into massive spacecrafts carrying the new intra-galactic colonies. Everything was fine until the supermassive black hole ripped through said colonies, and forced all of humanity to start from square one all over again. Now, two weeks after the black hole, things are finally getting back to normal; apartmentships are being rebuilt, the mallships are reopening, rocket sales have increased, and people are finally returning home from the rescue ships.

Willie still hasn’t shown up yet.

Willie, Alex’s best friend since Jamie Allston said his haircut looked stupid in the third grade and Willie loudly disagreed, the human firecracker, the kid with a promising future in skateboarding, the guy Alex has been quietly in love with since eighth grade.

His other friends tell him that it’s fine, because a bunch of people were still caught along the event horizon and needed rescue ships to take them back, and as far as the authorities know, no bodies were left behind.

But that doesn’t mean Willie couldn’t have been sucked in. Hence, the worrying.

(“Have you even heard of what happens to you when you get sucked into a black hole, Jules? It’s fucking spaghettification. He could be spaghettificated right now and we wouldn’t even know.”)

Today is the day that the rescue ships are supposed to make it back, though, and so now Alex is just patiently (read: impatiently) waiting at home to see if Willie will ever come back, or if he completely missed his chance to confess his feelings and will never get to see his best friend again. No big deal or anything.

Alex sighs, ignoring the faded blue cap on his nightstand as he heads out the front door.

•••

Alex grips the railing of the metal gate lining the edge of the rescue ship port, nearly bouncing with energy as the ships begin to unload. There’s a sizable amount of people who ended up getting stranded, so it takes him a minute to find Willie’s head among the crowd. Alex nearly bolts forward once he does, but the gate stops him and his boot slams into it, causing a large clanging noise to sound throughout the station. Pointedly ignoring the stares from the crowd of those waiting beside him, Alex sucks on his teeth and backs up a step from the gate. So much for subtlety.

After Willie makes his way around the gate, Alex finally runs over to him. He grips Willie by the shoulders and starts to chatter off, “Willie! Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re back, I- I’m so glad you’re okay even, you would never believe how fucking boring it’s been without— Willie?” Alex cuts himself off once he gets a good look at his best friend’s face. Willie’s barely even giving him a glance, biting on the inside of his mouth, rubbing his elbow with his thumb— he’s nervous, or at the very least uncomfortable, that much is obvious, but Alex can’t for the life of him think of why. He drops his hands. “What’s wrong?”

Willie shakes his head. “I’m just, really tired, I guess. Kinda just want to go home,” he replies half-heartedly.

“Oh,” Alex breathes out, and he tries his best to hide his disappointment. “Yeah. No, yeah, of course. I’ll take you there?”

“I mean, yeah, I kinda don’t know where it is anymore,” Willie responds, and ouch.

“Right.” Alex lets out a sigh, then continues as they begin walking, “Okay. So your apartmentship is still right next to mine, and honestly, most things are set up the same, it’s just a different galaxy and stuff, so it’s not too hard to get around.”

Willie throws him a noncommittal shrug. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” Yeah, this won’t be awkward at all.

•••

A shell of a person was not exactly what Alex had in mind when he said he wanted his best friend back, but apparently it’s what he’s getting.

He’s laying on the floor in Willie’s bedroom, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, while Willie sits on the edge of his bed, swinging his legs. There are a million words Alex would love to spew at his friend, but it feels like none of them are the right ones, none of them are the ones that will bring back the firecracker of a person he once knew.

He doesn’t get it, really; they both went through the same things, both experienced the same parts of the black hole. And sure, Alex was still shaken by it and is adjusting to the change (no matter how poorly said adjustment is), but he isn’t— he hasn’t closed himself off to the people he trusts. He hasn’t become an entirely different person.

And it’s hard, really, because Alex loved Willie; yes, there were romantic feelings there that he didn’t bring up as often, but even on a baseline level, he loved him. He loved the things that made Willie who he was, the spontaneity, the empathy, the humor, the drive, everything. It’s hard to know who someone used to be with those traits and not see them as someone else without them.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Willie anymore, though. In fact, it’s almost the opposite. There are so many things Alex wishes he could do to help Willie, to care for him, to hug him, anything, but the very notion that he could lose Willie by choice rather than circumstance is enough to keep his mouth shut.

Alex is trying his best to bring Willie back to who he once was. He knows he might never fully get there; what they all went through was traumatic, and would have effects on them for the rest of their lives, but he’s trying at the very least to get a smile out of the other boy.

He’s gotten nothing.

He refuses to give up.

“Is there anything you want to do now that you’re back?” Alex asks, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look at Willie. “I’ve heard the new set up for the skate park is really fun, and there’s even an anti-gravity section—“

“I’m not really feeling it,” Willie interrupts. “I’ve kinda had enough of zero gravity at this point.”

The joke lies flat, a lull falling into what could barely be called a conversation, and it’s enough to make Alex’s anxious energy start leaking out. “You— you don’t even want to skate? That’s… like your favorite thing in the world, what’s up with you?” He asks, not accusingly.

Willie closes his eyes for a moment while he crosses his arms against himself. “Nothing’s up, I just don’t want to. Am I not allowed to do that now?” he responds, adding, “I’d rather just chill here. You can leave if you want to do something else, though.”

Alex splutters, “Wh— no, I never said that, I’m just—“ he takes a breath, looking down at the floor, “—I’m getting a bit worried about you. You’re not interested in anything you used to do, you’ve gotten quiet all of a sudden, and you barely even talk to me anymore.” He looks back up at Willie. “I’m supposed to be your best friend, Willie. You can tell me anything, you know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

Willie’s face hardens and he stops swinging his legs, pulling them up to hold them in his arms. “Maybe I don’t know that.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and mumbles, “I think, I think I just want to be alone right now. You should leave.”

Alex doesn’t get how he could have fucked it up this bad, but he nods, gathers his bag, and heads out the door, more determined than ever to get his best friend back.

He ignores the blue cap again when he flops onto his bed.

———

taglist: @jealous-kippen @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @secretly-of-course @sylphrenas @julie-n-phantoms (ask to be tagged!!)

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 34

A/N: Soooo this is the penultimate chapter.  This feels very bittersweet to post because we all know how the series turned out.  Anyway, other stuff happens to, but the series...🥺

August 8th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was thinking about last night.  Again.

And she shouldn’t be.  She was having breakfast with the team for God’s sake.  Everyone was eating pancakes or waffles or avocado toast and she was fantasizing about William fucking her raw from behind and watching him through the mirror.  She could swear she still felt his slick and hard cock inside of her.  She could swear she still felt him pounding her from behind and grabbing on to her mouth to silence her and—

“Aberdeen.”

—her whimpering and trying to be quiet and the same time—

“Aberdeen.”

—and his low, guttural grunts as he fucked her and made her be quiet and—

“Aberdeen!”

She snapped out of it.  She looked to her right to see Jason looking at her like she was crazy.  “Your phone is ringing,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world – because it was.  The thing was blaring out for God knows how long and she was just sitting there.

She grabbed it, not bothering to look at the number, and brought it to her ear.  “Hello?”

“So what did the boys get up to last night?”  Alec Young’s voice asked from the other end.  

That brought her back down to earth.  She got up out of her seat and made her way towards the doorway, where it would be much quieter.  “What did they get up to?” she feigned ignorance.

“You can’t tell me that after a win like that all they did was go to bed,” he said in a tone of voice that made Aberdeen want to punch him through the phone.  She couldn’t believe he was the one responsible for editing her piece, that it was him who was a deciding factor on whether or not she got a job with the magazine.  “Did they sneak girls into the hotel?  Prostitutes?  Did they get one for Matthews for scoring the overtime winner?”

Aberdeen sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.  William Nylander fucked the president’s assistant.  They’ve been carrying on a secret affair for the better part of a year now and nobody has a fucking clue.  They were so desperate for each other that they broke every bubble guideline so he could fuck her raw in her bathroom as she bent over the marble vanity.  How’s that for a scoop?  “With all due respect, Alec…”

“Aberdeen, come on.”

“I’m trying to take the more balanced approach, the more human side, the—”

“There’s gotta be something!”

She sighed again.  She knew he was more or less her editor and all, and her job depended on him, but she was on her last nerve.  “You want something?  Okay, here’s something.  Two days ago Courtney Muzzin and her daughter Luna stood outside of the Royal York Hotel with a giant sign on Bristol board that said ‘We love you, Dada’ and aimed it directly at Jake’s window,” she said, the edge very evident in her voice.  “I can’t lie, Alec.  I can’t just make up stories about drugs and prostitutes and whatever else you think is going on here.  They can fucking sue me.”

“Aberdeen, we need a story.  If you don’t give us the story, you’re not working at Toronto Life.  That’s it,” he said, hanging up.  

Aberdeen felt her chest tighten.  She couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t go back on her morals.  She couldn’t just…betray her friends.  Her family.  Her work family, but her family nonetheless.  She had to stay resolute.  She was going to get this job, and she was going to get it whether Alec approved of her story or not.  She was going to get it whether Alec wanted her there or not.  She was going to get it whether he liked her writing or not.  She was going to prove him wrong.  She was going to do it on her own terms, with her own talent.  She was going to bank on herself.

When she got back to her seat, Jason was still eating his breakfast.  She picked up her fork and ate a piece of watermelon before moving on to her yogurt parfait.  “Who was that?” he asked.

She shook her head slightly, signaling that she didn’t want to talk about it.  But when Jason continued looking at her, she knew he wasn’t going to let it pass.  “The guy that’s responsible for editing that article I’m submitting to Toronto Life,” she said.

“What did he want?” Jason asked.

She sighed.  “He wants a story filled with booze and drugs and women, because he’s convinced so many of you are still like that,” she began.  “He thought we would have ordered a stripper or something for Auston last night for scoring his overtime goal.  He doesn’t think Courtney and Luna Muzzin standing outside with a sign about loving daddy is going to sell magazines.”

Jason nodded his head in understanding.  He’d been around hockey for such a long time – he understood completely where Alec got his mentality from.  “And you refuse to write that.”

“It’s not just that I refuse to write it.  I can’t write it.  None of it would be true.  Imagine me writing about you guys with hookers and blow?  I’d get sued!”

Jason chuckled.  “And he doesn’t get that?  How’s this guy an editor for a prominent city magazine?”

“Beats the shit out of me,” Aberdeen shrugged, fiddling around with her spoon.  “But…that’s my issue.  I’ll figure it out.  I’ll write something that will blow his mind and make him wonder why he ever thought he wanted me to write about hookers and blow in the first place.”

Jason smiled.  “Atta girl.”

Jason continued to eat as Aberdeen continued to fiddle with her spoon.  She looked across the room briefly to see William chowing down on some avocado and a piece of toast.  He was scrolling through his phone and, periodically, would look at something Pierre would show him one-third of space away at the table.  Less than ten hours ago his body was pressed up against hers.  Now they were separated by a sea of tables and hockey players.  

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked Jason suddenly.

“Anything,” he didn’t even look at her when he answered.

She hesitated for a second.  “If…I mean…if things don’t go the way we want them to go tomorrow…” she began.

“You mean if we lose,” he interrupted, finally staring her dead in the eye.  “You can say the words Aberdeen.  It’s okay.”

“If we lose tomorrow…I…what should I do?  Like, how should I act?  What should I say?  I don’t want to make you guys even more upset by saying the wrong thing.”

“I doubt you can make anyone on this team upset—”

“Jason.”

He sighed.  He set down his flatware and brought his hands together.  “I think being there physically is good,” he began.  “Like, just being a presence.  Telling the guys you’re there if they want to talk.  Don’t bring it up unless we do.  Some guys are more open.  Others bottle it inside and never want to talk about it.  You have to figure out who’s who in that sense.”

“I just want to be a good…support.  I don’t want to be that person that seems apathetic because I don’t care about hockey as much as you guys.  I know how important this is for all of you.  I know how hard you guys are working to get it done.  I just want to make sure everybody, like…knows that, you know?”

“They know, Aberdeen,” Jason said confidently.  “And I’m not just saying that.  Trust me.  They know.”

***

“How many words do you have now?” William asked through the FaceTime call.  They were lying in bed together.  Virtually.  As always, he was less than 50 feet away in his own bed.  Aberdeen felt cold without his touch, now that she had felt it in the bubble.  It took every ounce of strength and willpower within her not to sneak into his room and beg him to fuck her again.

“I’m at five thousand right now,” she answered.  “I got a call from Alec today.  He’s such a dick.”

“It sucks that you’ll have to work under him.  I mean, if he’s even your editor at the magazine.  He might work in a different department or whatever.”

Aberdeen shuddered at the thought.  Him becoming her boss would be a nightmare.  Beth Zadakis – who Aberdeen originally met with – would be the much better choice in her eyes.  “Here’s hoping he is in another department,” she bit her lip.  “But enough about me, Willy.  How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“I don’t know…” he said, giving his own shrug.  “I’m not nervous or anything.  I just…I know what I need to do.  I know what we need to do.  We just gotta do it.”

“D’you remember what I told you before we got in here?  That I’ll love you whatever happens?” she asked.  William nodded his head.  “That still stands.  Whatever happens tomorrow, I love you.”

William nodded his head gingerly.  “If we lose…” he began softly, “it’s gotta be, like, a media blackout for at least a week.  Until they make us do those exit interviews or whatever.”

“Deal,” Aberdeen nodded.

“It’s gonna be bad if we lose, Aberdeen,” he warned her.  “You’ve never experienced it before because you don’t watch or whatever, but they’ll be saying a whole bunch of shit—”

“—I won’t listen to any of it—”

“—No, Aberdeen, listen,” he cautioned, his tone of voice more serious.  “They’ll be saying a whole bunch of shit about me.  I didn’t produce, I didn’t perform, I should get traded, blah blah blah.  Same shit, different day.  I’m always the scapegoat.  I just…I know how emotional you got when you read up on everything near my birthday.  I just don’t want you getting upset.  I’ll never forgive them anyways, like in general, but I’ll really never forgive them if they make you cry again.”

“I won’t, Willy.  I don’t – you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I just want to protect you, minskatt.”

“I know you do,” she smiled softly.  “But none of that matters.  All that matters is that I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

August 9th, 2020

In the end, it wasn’t shitty play.  It wasn’t a patented Leafs Meltdown™.  It wasn’t that they weren’t trying.  It wasn’t even anything bad.

It was just a hot goalie.

That was the most Aberdeen could have asked for, she guessed.  She didn’t really know, because at this point, she was devoid of emotion.  Everything in her was just…empty.  She couldn’t feel a thing.  That was, until, the camera showed a close up of the bench, and she saw Jason hunched over, his head down.  

That was when the tears started.  She couldn’t care less about Kasperi beside him.  It was Jason that she cared about.  Here he was, near the end of his career, signed with his hometown team for league minimum trying to chase his dream of winning a Stanley Cup with the team he grew up watching.  And now, in this wonky season of benched home openers and valued leadership to a stopped and re-started season due to a global pandemic, everything around him came crashing down.  Having to leave his family, his wife, his four daughters, all to chase the dream, all for it to disappear.

“Stop crying,” Brendan said from beside her.  She couldn’t discern his voice.  He wasn’t giving a command.  He wasn’t mad.  He wasn’t angry.  But it was obvious that he wasn’t happy.  He barely blinked as he looked down at the ice, hands shoved in his pockets.

Aberdeen wiped her tears quickly with the back of her hand.  “Sorry,” she said meekly, knowing she was offering absolutely nothing.  

When the buzzer rang and the teams lined up to shake hands, she made her way out of the box, waiting for Brendan and Kyle to follow.  But they didn’t.  She waited and waited and waited but they weren’t coming.  She peeked back into the room and watched as they stood still, looking down at the ice until the last of the team made their way through the tunnel.  Aberdeen realized then that they were staying because the camera was on them.  Of course it was.  The media was going to squeeze every emotion out of the boys until they were shells of themselves.  She bet two of them were being forced into media interviews right now, barely out of their hockey gear.

When they finally made their way down to the locker room, it was eerily quiet.  That’s the first thing Aberdeen noticed – the lack of noise.  It was so different from just two nights ago when they were all screaming and hugging her.  When she walked in behind Brendan and Kyle, and finally saw their faces, she immediately looked for William’s.  He looked so defeated.  So broken.  For a guy who was very apathetic in front of the camera, making it looked like nothing phased him, he was definitely showing his emotion now.  Her breath hitched in her throat as more tears threatened to spill.  After William, she looked for Jason – then she really had to stop the sob.  

She didn’t know if Sheldon had already given his post-game speech.  She was almost sure he did, because Kyle and Brendan took so long, and because she absolutely knew he wouldn’t end the night with what he ended up saying, the only thing she heard him say.  “Pack your bags tonight.  We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

They’d been through a hell of a season.  A wonky start.  A shitty coach.  A coaching change.  A loss to their own Zamboni driver.  A fucking worldwide pandemic.  A bubble.  The media was never on their side.  And—

“Go to the media room, see how the conversations are going,” Brendan said, his voice low.  “Send Morgan and John out as soon as possible, then make sure the media know about their future availability.  We have to speak to the team.”

She furrowed her brows at him.  Why would he banish her from the locker room so he could talk to the team?  “What are you gonna say?”

“What’s it to you?”

He heart froze.  So he was angry.  And he was taking it out on her.  “Fine,” she huffed.  “I thought we were a team, but I guess not.”

***

Nobody ate when they got back to the hotel.  There was no point.  Everybody just disappeared back into their rooms, probably to pack, probably to wallow in their own self-pity for the night until they had to leave tomorrow and face the world, probably to just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours.  Aberdeen knew that’s what she would be doing.

Well, after she got to the bottom of one thing.

“What did Brendan and Kyle say to you guys?” she asked William on the phone.

“I can’t tell you.”

She furrowed her brows – not like he could see her.  “What?  You can’t tell me?”

“I can’t tell you,” he repeated.  “It stays between us.  In the locker room.”

“I…you’re being serious.”

“Of course I am.  It’s…I can’t tell you.”

Aberdeen knew she wasn’t going to get it out of him.  She’d have to give up.  Not that she wanted to.  “Well, I love you.  I’ll always love you,” she said instead, changing the subject.  “I’m sorry things didn’t go the way we all wanted them to.”

“I am too.  This fucking sucks.”

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door.  She rose up immediately from her bed.  “Please tell me that’s not you,” she said.  “We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“What’s not me?” William asked, confused.

Aberdeen stopped.  She took her phone off her ear.  “Who is it?” she asked out loud.

“It’s me,” she heard Brendan’s voice from the hallway.

She threw her phone dramatically across the room and onto her bed.  She threw it so violently it almost hit the wall.  “Let me get my mask!” she called out, grabbing one from the dresser before hooking it onto her ears.  She took a deep breath before she opened the door.  When she did, Brendan walked straight into her room.  She was shocked.  “You’re coming into my hotel room?”

“Oh fuck it, we’re leaving tomorrow morning,” he mumbled, waving off her concern.  The door shut behind her as she walked into her own room gingerly, watching Brendan pace back and forth.  He stopped when he noticed her.  “I want to apologize for what I said to you today after the game,” he said.  “It was out of line.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“There are just some things that need to be said to the team only Aberdeen.  Meaning the players.  You’re part of the team but it’s—it’s—”

“Don’t worry.  I get it.”

Brendan stopped, taking a deep breath to steady himself.  “For my entire life I’ve wanted this team to be successful.  My entire life.  I was born two years after their last Stanley Cup win.  And growing up, I adored this team.  And when I was a player – it didn’t matter that I was a Red Wing.  I love them, too, but in a different way.  Not the way I love the Toronto Maple Leafs.  And when I was given the opportunity to be the president, I made sure I would never take it for granted.  And I made sure – I made a promise to myself – that I would be the one to see this team to victory.  And every time that we don’t get to that victory, I break that promise,” he said.  Aberdeen understood completely.  “None of…this is about you, of course.  This is about the team.  This is about promises that we make to each other.  Promises that we make to ourselves.  Promises we make to get better, to succeed, to climb that mountain and get to the promised land.  This is about the integrity of our character.  The pride we have in this hockey club, to put on that Maple Leaf every night.”

Aberdeen stayed silent.  Brendan was bearing his soul to her.  Every word he was saying was impassioned and coming directly from his heart.  She didn’t want to speak, because there was nothing she could say.  She watched as he took a few steps forward and put his hands on her shoulders.  “You’re part of this team, Aberdeen.  I think you always will be to these boys.  You were the soul of this team this year.”

She shook her head.  “I don’t believe that.”

“I do,” he said confidently.  “I know so.”

“How do you know?”

“Because their soul is hurt right now, but it hasn’t died,” he said.  “It’s still there.  They still have it in them.  Just like you have it in you.”

***

August 10th, 2020

Aberdeen stood absent-mindedly off to the side, the bus being loaded with the team’s bags.  Some of the boys had already gotten on the bus.  She should have gotten on too, but her feet were planted firmly in place for some reason.  

Fifteen days in the bubble.  And now it was all over.

“Hey Aberdeen?” she heard Auston’s voice from behind her.  She spun around to face him.  “I’m sorry we couldn’t do it for you.  Like, for your story.”

***

Kasha came to pick up Aberdeen.  She brought Minerva in her carrier, who kept meowing at the sight of Aberdeen.  Aberdeen took her out and cuddled her against her chest, giving her tons of kisses.  

She watched Tyson do the same to Ralph, wondering if he’d still be on the team next year.

***

When she and Kasha got back into her apartment, Aberdeen went straight to her bed.  She plopped down dramatically and only moved when she felt Kasha standing in the doorway.  “D’you want to go out?  You finally have some freedom,” Kasha suggested.  “We can go for tacos, for brunch…”

Aberdeen perched herself up on her elbows.  “Do you think I’m the soul of someone?  Or something?”

Kasha looked at her strangely, but answered the question nonetheless.  “I definitely think you have the capacity to be for someone.  You know I believe in the concept of soulmates.  Why do you ask?”

“For who?”

Kasha shrugged, but a small smile appeared on her face.  “For William.”

“Why William?”

“Because from the few times I’ve seen you to interact together – like last year, and then at the Halloween party – he looks at you like you already are his soul.”

***

“You should come over for lunch one of these days,” Jason said to her on the phone.  “Jen would love to have you over.  I’m sure the girls would love to see you too.”

Aberdeen smiled into the phone.  Jason Spezza was deflecting.  This was not part of their original conversation.  “When you’re okay, maybe I will.”

“I’m always okay,” he defended.

“You’re not right now,” she said definitively.  There was no beating around the bush.  “But you will be.  At your own pace.  And when you’re good to go, I’ll come over.  And you better cook and let me and Jen sip margaritas in the backyard.”

Jason laughed his infamous laugh.  “Deal.”

***

August 11th, 2020

“Media blackout?” Aberdeen asked William on the phone.

William nodded his head on the FaceTime call.  “Media blackout.”

“I’ll come over tomorrow when Kasha’s back at the office,” she said.  “We can cuddle.”

“That’s all I want to do right now, to be honest.”

***

August 12th, 2020

With Kasha going into the office, Aberdeen was able to sneak away to William’s.  He let her in easily, without much fanfare, and he enveloped her in a hug and brought her down with him on the couch as they lay their together, every limb wrapped around the other.  Aberdeen was running her fingers through William’s hair soothingly as his head lay on her chest.  Hockey was still on in the background.  Alex was still playing, and William wanted to support him.  Aberdeen already knew he’d be calling his brother after the game.  

“I love you so much,” she whispered out of nowhere.  She just felt the need to say it.

William looked up at her.  “I love you too.”

“That last night at the hotel, Brendan told me I was the soul of the team this year,” she said.  His comments were still on her mind.  “Do you think that’s true?”

William nodded his head.  “I do.  I think you’re my soul, too.”

***

The kisses were slow at first.  Needy.  William needed her.  He needed to be comforted.  His brother wasn’t around to talk to, and it was the middle of the night in Sweden so he couldn’t call his parents, although Aberdeen was sure they would have picked up the phone if they saw it was William calling in the middle of the night.  So until he could speak to his brother and his parents, Aberdeen would be there for him, kissing him as they lay facing each other side-by-side on his couch.  There to console him.  There to comfort him.

They kissed for a long time.  Such a long time.  It told Aberdeen that William needed that intimate physical contact, not just flat-out sex, and that he was savouring his time with her as much as she was with him.  But who was she kidding?  He always did.  He always savoured his time with her.  It didn’t matter where, or when, or how, or how much they’d lied to the people around them to get some alone time.  By the end of it she was sure her lips here swollen and red, and when she opened her eyes to look at his, his were too.  So puffy.  So soft.  In their glory.

She felt his hand dip beneath the hem of her pants and grab the flesh of her ass to squeeze it.  She hooked a leg over his torso and could feel his growing erection graze her thigh.  She shivered at the feeling, digging her nails into his bicep.  

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Sorry for what?”

“Sorry we couldn’t do it for you and your story.  I won’t forgive myself if you don’t get that job,” he revealed.

“Shhhhh…” she cooed, cupping his face and kissing him.  “What did I tell you before we got into the bubble, hmm?  I love you no matter what happens in there.  I love you Willy.  I always have and always will.”

“I love you too, minskatt.  I need you.  Do you need me?”

Aberdeen’s heart fluttered at his question.  She nodded her head automatically and gave him a quick kiss.  “I need you.  I’ll always need you.”

With their pants and underwear pushed down their legs, William slipped himself into her slowly, watching the look on her face change and hearing the long sigh escape her mouth.  This is what he loved most about their physical relationship.  They could do anything and it would feel like the best time every time.  They could have regular sex.  They could explore a new position.  They could have rough, passionate sex like that night in the bubble.  They could have close, intimate sex like right now.  Each time was incredible.  Each time he loved more than the last.

Each time, William realized how much he needed Aberdeen, and how much Aberdeen needed him.  They needed each other.

“You feel so good, Willy,” Aberdeen’s voice brought him back down to earth.  The pure euphoria in her voice was music to his ears.  “I need you, Willy.  I need you.”

He moved his hips to thrust into her, and so did she.  Their bodies moved together as they always did, and the pleasure they experienced together was paramount to absolutely anything and everything.  

After they both came together, William squeezed his arms around Aberdeen and pressed her against his body even closer than they were before.  He nestled his face into the crook of her neck, dragging his lips along her skin until he got to her ear.  “I need you more than anything,” he whispered.  “You’re my entire life.  You’re my entire soul.”

She believed him.

***

August 25th, 2020

Aberdeen was with Camden when the news broke.  She was spending the day at her parent’s house because Camden had admitted he missed her, so Aberdeen decided to spend the day.  They played video games.  They watched Brooklyn 9-9.  They went on a bike ride around the neighbourhood with masks on and stopped at a local shop to grab some smoothies.  It was perfect sibling bonding time while Siena slaved away in their bedroom studying God knows what for God knows which course come September.  

“Did you see the news?!” Camden asked as he emerged from the smoothie shop with both their smoothies.

“See what?” Aberdeen asked, thinking the worst.  

“Kasperi was traded!” he announced as he handed her the mango smoothie she requested.  

“What?!” she shrieked, grabbing her phone out of her back pocket.  She hadn’t looked at it since they went on the bike ride about an hour ago, because she wanted to spend actual quality time with her brother.  Now, she saw that she missed the alert from the Leafs app on her phone, and a slew of texts from Willy.

“Yeah.  He got traded to Pittsburgh—”

kappy just called me he got traded to pittsburgh just got told r u around? can i come see u? ok so ur not at ur place… ur not at Scotiabank r u?

“—for a first-round pick.”

“A first?!” she shrieked again.  She was shocked.  Shocked.  She didn’t know how Kyle was able to finesse a first-round pick for Kasperi fucking Kapanen.  Her mind was in three places at once as she thought about the trade, her brother standing in front of her, and William’s texts.  For all his faults and questionable judgement in girlfriends, Kasperi was one of William’s best friends.  She knew it would hurt William to see him leave.  That’s probably why he was trying to find her.

I’m at my parents hanging with Cam today.  He missed me.

i know

You know?????

“Cam, I think we should head home,” she said, hopping back onto her bike.

Camden’s eyes lit up.  “Why?  Do you think Brendan Shanahan will want to call you?”

He was so cute.  To think she was important enough that Brendan Shanahan would call her about a trade.  She let him think so.  “He might…” she said, opening the Leafs app on her phone.  “Let’s just go.  You lead the way.”

It wasn’t the smartest choice, but as they biked through their neighbourhood back to their house, Aberdeen read the statement on her phone.  PRESS RELEASE -- -- -- The Toronto Maple Leafs announced today that the hockey club has completed a trade with the Pittsburgh Penguins, acquiring the Penguins' first round selection in the 2020 NHL Draft (15th overall), forward Evan Rodrigues, forward Filip Hallander and defenceman David Warsofsky in exchange for forward Kasperi Kapanen, forward Pontus Aberg and defenceman Jesper Lindgren.

So Pontus was leaving too.  Another Swede.  Aberdeen wondered if William had a strong opinion on him leaving as well, but she doubted it.  She thought about what was going through William’s head as she and Cam continued their bike ride home, but as they turned on their street and they got closer to their house, she noticed a car parked on the street.  A very familiar looking car.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ…” she mumbled to herself.  

“Whose car is that?” Camden asked, speeding up.  “Don’t people know they’re not allowed over houses anymore?!”

Aberdeen mentally prepared herself as she and Camden walked through their front door.  And that’s when Aberdeen saw him: William sitting on her couch with her mom, mask dangling from his wrist as he held a mug of tea.  “There you two are,” her mom smiled.  

“WILLIAM!” Camden screamed as he kicked off his shoes.

“Hey buddy,” William smiled as he watched Camden’s face light up.  He watched as Camden readied himself to run over to him for a hug but then stopped himself.  It made William sad, knowing Camden couldn’t do what he wanted to do.  “How are you?”

“I’m good!  I’m – do I have to get my mask? – are you staying for dinner – are you going back to Sweden? – are you—”

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down young man,” Orla smiled at her son.  “I don’t think you’ll be needing your mask.  And yes William will be staying for dinner—”

“—YES!—”

“And no, I’m not going back to Sweden.  I don’t want to have to quarantine again.  I’m done with quarantining,” William added.

“Me too!” Camden said, exasperated, as he plopped himself down on the couch next to him, sipping dramatically on his smoothie.  “I haven’t seen anybody besides these guys since March!”

***

Aberdeen was sure William was a near-perfect human being when it came to interacting with Cam.  That afternoon saw them playing street hockey and video games, with Aberdeen even leaving them alone together while she helped her mom make dinner.  When Mirza came home from work and saw William, his face lit up.  Even Siena was happy to see him, despite her stress from studying. 

Maybe this would make it easier for when she had to tell everyone that they were dating…eventually.

William promised to drive Aberdeen home, which meant Orla and Mirza could escape into their room to sleep and not worry.  They gave Cam special permission to stay up well over an hour passed his bed time.  It was only when Aberdeen told Cam that he needed to get ready for bed that she and William had their first moments of alone time the entire day he spent at the house.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t talk about the trade.  I know you’re probably feeling like shit right now seeing your best friends being shipped off.  Are you okay?” she asked as they lay on opposite ends of the couch.  

“Much better now,” he said, his voice soft.  “I love your family.  They make everything better.”

She smiled.  “I think Cam just has so much energy and asks so many questions that it takes your mind off of it,” she giggled slightly.

“That’s part of it, but it’s more than that,” he said.  “It’s your mom’s cooking and your dad’s smile and Siena’s, like, stares.  It’s Cam being so cute.  It’s this house and the vibe, like at Christmas.  It’s everything.”

Aberdeen couldn’t keep the smile off her face.  “For what it’s worth, they love you too.”

“Do you think we’ll have a family like this?”

Aberdeen would have frozen if she was uncomfortable with the line of questioning and what William was insinuating.  But she didn’t, because she wasn’t.  She nodded her head before reaching between their bodies to tickle his fingers with her own in a small, unnoticeable sign of intimacy.  “I do,” she said softly.

“I love you, Aberdeen.”

“I love you too, Willy.”

“Aberdeen?” Cam’s voice suddenly rang out as he walked back into the living room with his pajamas on.

Their hands separated quickly.  “What is it, Cam?” she asked.

“I saw your name all over hockey Twitter.”

Both Aberdeen and William shot up.  “What do you mean?” William asked.

“What the hell are you doing on hockey Twitter, Camden?” Aberdeen asked sternly.  “You’re twelve.”

“Joey at school has an account and he shares it with me!” he said, as if that would make Aberdeen calm.  It just fuelled her anger and made her want to punch a twelve year old boy named Joey.  “It was because Saylor Greene talked about you.  Who’s Saylor Greene?  Does she work with you?” Camden asked.

Aberdeen’s heart fell into the pit of her stomach.  William jolted off the couch and typed something into his phone as he walked outside.  “Give me your phone,” she held her hand out at her brother.

“But Aberdeen—” he watched William leave to go outside.

“I said give me your phone now,” she repeated.  

Camden handed it over.  She began to scroll through the screen to see the tweets he saw, and read what he’d just read.

@leafsbabe34: saylor greene is having a meltdown on her twitter about the leafs. she’s a psycho

@coolcoolcool: good luck to kasperi Kapanen and his psycho girlfriend in pittsburgh.  Pens PR never ever puts up with this type of bullshit so it will be interesting to see what happens to her.  Good riddance.

@amandaaalove44: she brought so much drama to Toronto…bye bye saylor!

Okay…innocent enough.  Aberdeen still didn’t like Camden reading all of this but she didn’t see any mention of her name.  How the hell was she being dragged into this?  She scrolled some more, reading much of the same tweets, and then she saw it.

Aberdeen’s stomach was in knots as she read all the tweets, all the insinuations, and all the outright accusations.  Saylor was naming her without naming her.  Any hardcore fan would probably know who she was talking about.  Hockey twitter would definitely know thanks to the Blueprint birthday video.  She felt sick.  She felt sick as she saw Saylor’s replies to everyone’s tweets, calling them out and being downright rude to people she didn’t even know.  She was sick as she saw fans commenting on the situation and bringing her name up because they knew it was her.  

“Aberdeen?” Camden’s voice was soft, confused, as he watched his sister furrowing her brows at his phone screen.  She looked at him.  “I’m sorry I was on hockey Twitter.”

“You have to promise me to never go on there again,” she said.  “I mean it Cam.”

He nodded his head.  “I was just trying to see what they were saying about William.”

She inhaled.  “Now you really can’t go on there again.  Not until you’re thirty.”

“Sixteen.”

“Deal.  Now come here,” she extended her arms.  

Camden went in for a hug.  “Where’d William go?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said.  “Let me hug you in silence because you’re gonna become a teenager one day and you won’t let me do this anymore.”

Her phone buzzed from beside her.  Brendan’s name flashed atop of a text message.  I’m taking care of it.  And as she continued to hug Cam, she could hear William’s voice vaguely from outside on the deck.  “This is twice now with a girl you’ve dated.  TWICE!!!!!”

***

August 26th, 2020

“How many words do you have left?” William asked as he massaged Aberdeen’s shoulders.

“I’m just editing,” she said, reaching her hand over and placing it on one of his.  “I’ll be done within the hour.  I promise.”

William bent down to give her a quick kiss.  “You got this.”

***

To: Alec Young [young@torontolife.com] Cc: Beth Zadakis [zadakis@torontolife.com] Bcc: From: Aberdeen Bloom [aberdeenbloom@gmail.com] 23:15     08/25/2020

Hello Alec and Beth,

As requested, here is my 10,000-word report on the NHL Bubble experience.  Please note that I have also included photos to accompany the text.  I have received express approval from those in the photos that they can be used for this article.  If you would like me to send proof of permission, please let me know.

I hope you enjoy my work and choose it for publication in Toronto Life.  I understand that the article may, perhaps, be a departure from what was expected.  However, I believe the work speaks for itself.

Best, Aberdeen Bloom

***

August 27th, 2020

“So what happens now?” William asked.

“We wait,” Aberdeen said, her breath shaky.

[jesuisgourde]

gay/queer references in Peter’s journals

Again, I have probably missed stuff due to going through pretty quickly and also due to having stared at this document for so long, everything has kind of blurred together.

Sometime close to the day that Carlos & I watched 'Love And Death on Long Island' (and afterwards paraded through the tea rooms of Picadilly) we both filled in application forms and were tres excited to be invited to the same group 'interview' - twas more like an audition though. I got the part. Carlos never. This did not bring any animosity - we both know that success for either of us is magnified a million times if it is shared by us both.

from 'A Diamond Guitar' by Truman Capote "Except that they did not combine their bodies or think to do so, though such things were not unknown at the (Prison), they were as lovers. Of the seasons, spring is the most shattering: stalks thrusting through the earth's winter-stiffened crust, young leaves cracking out on old left-to-die branches, the falling asleep wind cruising through all the newborn green. And with Mr Schaeffer it was the same, a breaking up, a flexing of muscles that had hardened. It was late January. The friends were sitting on the steps of the sheep house, each with a cigarette in his hand. A moon thin and yellow as a piece of lemon rind curved above them, and under its light, threads of ground frost glistened like silver snail trails. Tico Feo had been drawn into himself - silent as a robber waiting in the shadows."

Then a meet with Bounds Green's African prince outside whitechapel tube, rugged lookies at I in military attire & to a ruptured Albion rooms tidied in hours and now lids drawn heated on the eyes. A young looking fella has a crush on me.

Jackie/Camillia/Marie/Kate/Chris/V. churchill Jackie/Evelina/Jasmine/Sachi/Dalston/Sussie Sandra/Carlene/FP/Jay/Dalston/Kraut

There sat a young black man, perhaps in his early or middle twenties. He looked for all the world like the archetypal rude boy. Clean, cheap reebok, nike, adidas variously rolled, laced & zipped about his lean, spreadeagled body that hung loosely about the waiting room chair. Gold & tattoos adorned his person, and a blank animal look was attached to his clear face. He sat before me in a row of four empty chairs, staring at polished floor or the mundane television. A balding white man minced in & all perceptions were suddenly proven to be false as they embraced and snuggled up to each other, giggling & whispering & touching each others noses.... very much in love, fingers crossed for the blood tests.

[Image: an article from Gay Times of an interview with Peter. For some reason, the portrait included alongside the article is of Carl wearing a grey and black t-shirt.] Name? Peter Doherty Age? 22 Where are you? I'm on the motorway just north of Southampton. What kind of day are you having? (Vaguely) Erm... quite misty. Something's waiting around the corner, but there are no corners on the motorway, so we'll just have to wait and see what lies ahead. Maybe something will happen tonight.... What's this we hear about you once being a rent boy? Well, when times are hard, duty calls. How long ago was it? When I was 19, about three years ago. How do we know this isn't just a Shaun Ryder-type lie? 'Cause if it was, it would make me a complete scumbag and I'm not, and I'm not interested in that kind of pantomime. It wasn't a very happy time. I didn't really enjoy it. Why did you give it up? (grimly) Well, certain people disappeared... and anyway, ultimately I found myself no longer in such a vulnerable position anymore. Dawn broke, and I realised that it was a beautiful world after all. Have you done any other dodgy jobs? All of us in the band have tried to deal, but it's not good if you like the drugs too much. You just end up using them yourself! I once was a gravedigger. I used to do it with my mate in Willesden Green cemetery. We didn't actually do the digging, a machine did that, but we used to have to fill them in. It was pretty grim work. So are you gay then? Love is love, wherever it comes from. I'm not anything, really. I am a very sexual person but... I dunno, I believe in liberty... The Marquis de Sade has a lot to answer for... Do you get a lot of gay fans? Yeah - well, there's one guy in particular. He's very shy and he follows us around. He brings in letters and cards and stuff, but he's very quiet. I think John (the bassist) is the main pulling power in the band. Are you jealous about that? Nah! I've known him too long.

You know I'm alright i dont even care i like it when they stare & stare call me queer, dear oh dear a million things & what I wear He's real hard when he's with his mates but I'll saw him again & he was too late

Dear NME I'd have thought after the Gay Times piece, the interview with Rapture fanzine & our recent gig at the Slum Club everything would be clear. No it still remains to give a big hearty fuck off to all these twisted suburban types calling me a liar. Vulnerable young men & women all over the world find themselves victims of circumstance.

she was dressed in suit & tie & lightly etched-on moustache. 'I've always wanted to kiss a bird in the back of a taxi.' she says, running her hand up the fishnet ladders of my thigh. Stepping onto the front line in Bow puddles, elevators, buzzing doors,

[Image: the original page in the book has been preserved. Two paragraphs have been boxed off with biro. They read:] “...cast Richard Burton and Rex Harrison as bickering queer barbers and then much more uncompromisingly in William Friedkin's adaptation of The Boys in the Band (1970), which introduced some of the plainer four letter words in the English language to the screen for the first time. 'Who,' asks Cliff Gorman, in his brilliant portrayal of the most effeminate of the homosexual group as they gather for a soul-searching party, 'Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?' Other homosexual manifestations to occur in movies around this time included an elliptical but unmistakeable male fellatio scene in John Schlesinger's Midnight Cowboy (1969) when Jon Voight, as a broke and disillusioned Texas stud importunes in a New York cinema....”

[Image, top left: a blurry photo of John onstage, playing bass. Image, top right, sideways: a photo of the band onstage. Carl and John are on the left, sharing a mic. Peter is on the right, playing guitar and singing into his own mic. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his bottom half from the chest down is visible. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his top half from shoulders up is visible. Image, bottom left: a torn fragment of a photo. What looks like a denim-clad knee and a yellow carrier bag are visible. Image, bottom middle: a photo of someone's knee in torn jeans, taken from under a table. Image, bottom right: a torn photo of Carl in a black sleeveless shirt, posing with his fingers in his mouth.] [A paragraph from the original page of the book has been left exposed and boxed off with black biro. It reads:] “The Boys in the Band was displaced by an immeasurably more powerful portrayal of homosexual groups, Fortune and Men's Eyes (1971). Set in a Quebec prison, this disturbing, factually based drama vividly recounted the corrupted of a heterosexual convict trapped in a tough, potentially vicious homosexual society. In one horrifying scene, a weak, put-upon prisoner is gang-banged by his fellow inmates; in another, the 'hero' is blackmailed by his cellmate into accepting him as his lover for the duration...”

Like a cat on a hot tin roof Like a macho man in a roomful of poofs I have tried in my way to be free.

[Written in Peter's handwriting] Jerome... is that how it's spelt? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes it is [Written in Peter's handwriting] Can I read you something? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes please.....

I insist, new book of Albion, befuddled by drugs I may yes about 2 but I do not miss out entirely on the subtleties of the inhuman relation ships that are this the mainstay of my stay here in one bounce of a loaf. Boys are fooled into fooling with boys. [...]

More general references/some extra explanations:

“The boy looked at Johnny” is a line from Patti Smith's song “Horses,” part one of a three-part song called “Land.” In the song, a young man named Johnny is assaulted by another man in a locker room; he then mentally journeys to other fantastical lands and visions. A lot of people interpret it as being about gay sex, although some people interpret it as being about a stabbing.

Peter quotes and references Jean Genet's writing and works about Jean Genet many times. While Genet's works are nearly all about crime and prison (one of Peter's main interests and points of fascination), all of his works are very explicitly gay. The Thief's Journal is more about Genet's various lovers than it is about his criminal history. Our Lady Of The Flowers is about a drag queen and her criminal lovers, and is also extremely erotic.

(“Jerome” is Jerome Alexandre, vocalist of The Deadcuts, who was friends with Peter and Mark Keds.)

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

[dharmadischarge]

Top 5 Novels: or it gets dark around here early.

So now I am trying to say something. That is all. No, that will not do at all... Here is a list of my top 5 novels, with one short review and four long ones.

1, Jim Dodge - Stone Junction. Reading Stone Junction by Jim Dodge is like meeting the father you never had

2, Thomas Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow Subtlety is overrated... and just because you have a boner doesn't mean you're a terrorist. I mean, it doesn't mean you're not causing those rockets to come from the sky. But, still, that is beside the point.

For me, this book is about obliterating the arbitrary distinction between high and low culture. The ironically arbitrary distinction between good and evil and the dangerously subtle distinction between despondency and hope.

Fractured, layered, elusive, you could accuse Pynchon of all these things.

The way characters bleed into one another to make one voice. A hellish symphony of discordant cries of pain reaching out to a belief that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and paranoia is the glue.

Also, it is funny. Like in a dumb way and there are songs. Also, dumb.

Everyone will talk about how polarising this book is but I don't believe it. you can follow the bouncing ball and sing along or live in fear that at any moment the terror will become real and you will collapse into ellipsis...

It is the third and newer testament. An epilogue to western culture as racist cultural energy written by a crazy white guy. T.S. Elliot and his wasteland were a prelude, in hindsight, nothing but a john the baptist-like figure for the cross that Pynchon presents to all readers as their burden to carry with this book.

Hope is crazy painful, consciousness is such a fragile thing and the burden of consciousness is the pain of knowing that (beyond the act of effort itself) it is a futile one.

Jim Dodge once said, "a stone falls till it hits the earth, transcend what?" and that about sums it up.

3, Cormac McCarthy - Blood Meridian.

Blood Meridian is a kind of repetitious, primeval-hillbilly level of primitive interpretation of the morality expressed in the book of revelation fighting its way onto the page as barely literate poetry.

It is not a book of social niceties, justice, or the warm feeling you get when you do something good. also, this book could also easily be seen as porn for serial killers.

I scanned the reviews and saw all the campy (and not the good kind of campy) parodies this kind of book inspires in the age of irony we live in (though it seems like it is on its last legs). And while I like me a good parody, I find that Eli Cash did it better.

There is something to be said about how Cormac McCarthy (ab)uses the English language. The one good line I read from one of the negative reviews of his books was that a middle schooler could list what he doesn't like about the kids who bully him and that this list would have more emotional nuance and better use of punctuation than a Cormac McCarthy novel. This is fair.

The conceptional power of Blood Meridian though is that it frames cruelty and violence for what it is: reality. While also through its sometimes monotonous exaggeration of William Faulkners styled repetitions it creates a sense of unreality. A sense that like David Lynch's best work that we are walking, daily, through something so evil and violent that it borders on slapstick, and at last we laugh in self-defense.

I think the people who parody the book without much thought got trapt in the intellectual self-defense state that is part of coping and couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Civilization is a fragile thing, it is the human race trying to domesticate itself, and the longer it goes on the more it seems like we're just sweeping what we don't like under the rug.

4, John Crowley - Little, Big.

There is a kind of hokey-Americana style kitsch that most of my favorite writers could be accused of, from, Tom Robbins to Jim Dodge. John Crowley may be the peak of it. It could be because on the surface Americans don't have a unified culture we are a melting pot with capitalism only encouraging the lowest common denominator (the pursuit of greed as its own reward).

But in any creative act that does not presume to be the literal expression of anything but pure gratitude, there is politics. The politics of worth, of greatness, inherent value, and the desire to prove that the wisdom offered was truly earned. That a difficult pleasure does not mean that there is none.

This is an American fairytale. A once upon a time that seems eerily to remind of another Crowley, that codesigned the deck of Thoth tarot cards (A really good one for those curious) more than the writers of magical realism. And probably because I didn't read this in translation I preferred it to a hundred years of solitude. This may seem random to people of the fantasy crowd who know that genre is only a limitation to artistic merit if you want it to be (usually for cultural-political reasons). but people often compare this book to Gabriel Garcia Marquez's writing. And while they are both family chronicles with supernatural elements. this is kind of a shallow comparison.

Crowley's work is more in the tradition of an occult mystic, and Gabo is more a romantic using personal folklore as the vocabulary of that romantic expression (of which I think love in the time of cholera, is his masterpiece).

I am trying to not give away any spoilers, or even talk about specifics at all. but the ending is worth it. Like most things in life, it's your journey to go on so I won't ruin it for you, but they are out there waiting for you, where the lights never go out.

5, Neil Gaiman - The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

"words save our live's sometimes"

I was a frustrated borderline feral child, who could not deal with reality. My parents taught me how to read and not much else. I was homeschooled and weighed three hundred pounds by the time I was thirteen. I remember one night unable to deal with any more abuse that I laid down and decided my dreams would have to be enough, I close my eyes and went away for a long time. Lettie Hempstock's ocean is real to me I almost drowned in it.

When I was a teenager the cult-like fundamentalist atmosphere of my home life became less extreme, but the damage was done. I was still in the ocean. it says something about my state of mind that the closest I came to getting traction on reality was starting a habit of reading insistently, my favorite book was Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

Once on Twitter, I told him "thank you" for writing it. I later after reading this book I wrote a short review of this book and sent it to him. He said "thank you" to me in a @ mention. It was nice. I later @ mentioned him in a playfully sarcastic way and he deleted his original comment.

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was twenty-four or twenty-five. I have been told I had childhood-onset schizophrenia. I have been told I milk it. I have been told that I self isolate.

I have been writing reviews tonight, going through my favorite books, and just live streaming my mind. Thinking about how they made me feel and what they make me think. Neil Gaiman's work always makes my brain retreat on itself. Possibly because of stardust. But more than that it is the wisdom he has. He knows that stories are true in a way that transcends a mere list of facts. communicating for those with an ear to listen that there is more than what we know, there is more than our understanding, there is more than us. More than you, more than me. There is an ocean that is healing for some while necessarily absent for others.

We forget, and we remember. Each other and ourselves. Cruelty and innocence. But there is an ocean and it is Lettie Hempstock's.