#pick your ship cuz they’re all sailing

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

fyodor: “okay let’s go over the plan… i’m making dinner.”

sigma: “and i’m making dessert!”

nikolai *dramatically*: “and i’m makingA SCENE!!”

fyodor and sigma: “please…. don’t”

[kimmyyang]

210503 My favorite moments & translations of the SHL concert including the warming up livestream

1. Zhao Jing calling fans adopted sons and daughters during the livestream and revealing that there will be a game where they hug each other, telling fans to look forward to it (he knows what we want to see haha).

2. Gong Jun arrived at the livestream first, but he still waited for Zhang Zhehan and told Zhang Zhehan to introduce himself first.

3. Zhang Zhehan saying he will talk less as he needs to take care of his throat for the actual concert, so Gong Jun talked mostly in the livestream (translation is here).

4. In the beginning of the concert, ZZH introduced himself: "I'm your Ah Xu." (T ^ T)

5. The MCs asked the casts to write down their top 1 iconic scene, some of them picked the scene where Gao Chong died. GJ & ZZH were having a discussion and the MCs were like "why do these two have to discuss their top 1 scene?" (yeah, you just need to write your own fave scene, it's not pair work LMAO) ZZH picked "you're not worthy" scene where they had to fight against Ye Bai Yi, and GJ picked the sun basking scene where they called each other 'Lao Wen', 'Ah Xu' 3 times. ZZH said: thanks to Gao dage's iconic scene, they got to rest haha.

6. Gao Chong, Zhao Jing & Shen Sheng sitting behind GJ & ZZH wrote "Lao Wen ♡ Lao Zhou" on their whiteboards, they were laughing so much while holding it up.

7. When they played the sun basking scene, the MCs asked GJ "you were pretty focused when watching the scene." GJ replied, "it reminded me of the time when we were filming, it felt so warm just like now, I'm being surrounded with love."

8. MCs said that ZZH added the part where calling Lao Wen's name 3 times. ZZH said: "yes I even asked GJ to call Ah Xu 3 times, I like the number 3 and calling the names 3 times shows 3 different emotions". When MCs asked them to reenact the scene, I heard CWN saying he wants to see it. (I hope I didn't mishear it lol and the MCs were smiling so much while watching them)

9. After ZZH finished singing Gu Meng (T ^ T), the fans were all screaming 'lao po'. XDDD

10. At the beginning of the game segment, when the rules came up on the screen. Fans were screaming loudly and ZZH said: "did you guys even read/ understand it to be screaming like that?" And one of the MCs said: "shouldn't that be Ye Bai Yi's job to diss people?" (The MCs definitely did a lot of prep before the concert haha XD and that is the hugging game Zhao Jing talked about in the livestream)

11. GJ & ZZH were laughing hehehehe when they found out they got the same number.

12. The MCs had to say a number, they have to find enough people to make that number. At one point Ye Bai Yi was with 3 actresses, and ZZH said: "Ye Bai Yi you're a guy and you're hugging 3 girls??? I didn't expect you to be like this." (AHAHAHAHA)

13. I missed out on what happened with CWN & GX, but it seems that they wanted to get eliminated together. (T ^ T)

14. So at the end, ZZH and Cheng Ling won the game and GJ was like: "the person who won the game will sing until tomorrow's concert." (LOL)

15. GJ said: "I feel like you guys planned it out to make me lose the game." (ZZH called 'Lao Wen' 3 times here ahhhh GJ kinda just gave up lol) "Am I right, didi?" Cheng Ling replied yes. ZZH asked GJ to dance as a punishment but GJ forced ZZH to dance and ZZH was like why do I have to do it when I won the game?? Then ZZH sang and GJ danced to 爱的恰恰 (so cute I cry) GJ couldn't do the dance properly, he explained: "I need to save my energy, I have to sing later."

16. When they were picking the winners for the prizes, GJ said: "it's so unfair to the bottom floor, they haven't won anything." ZZH then jokingly added: "the people on the bottom floor, they're super fast at getting the tickets and they're pretty rich too." (because the tickets are more expensive) GJ jokingly followed: "then let's pick someone from level 3, haha I actually did pick out level 3 (from the bag)."

17. Another game, the MCs asked them to say something fierce to the other team, GJ was facing his teammates and kept saying (I can't remember what he said) really loudly. And ZZH was like did you not understand (the instructions) why are you shouting at your teammates? (AHAHAHAHAHA come on I don't think he would say anything fierce to his lao po XD)

18. I can't remember what happened but Ye Bai Yi shouted: "卧槽 (fuck)" during the game segment. (really loudly!!! and I haven't heard any Chinese actors/ celebrities say that in public lmao)

19. GJ couldn't find all the nails on ZZH and asked: "where did you guys hide it?" Ye Bai Yi lifts up ZZH's clothes and said: "here". GJ said:" I can't reach there, they won't be able to broadcast it." (asdfghjklfuuuuu)

20. When they reenacted the "you're not worthy" scene and still bickering like 3-year-olds XDDD

21. When Cao Wei Ning & Ah Xiang were singing Yuan Mie, Ah Xiang got so emotional she cried and messed up, so Cao Wei Ning sang her lines and held her hand really tightly. (I CRIEDDDD)

22. Afterwards, ZZH & GJ walked out with Cheng Ling (then everyone came out too). GJ forgot to bring the red bracelets and ZZH was like "where are the red bracelets? Lao Wen did you give it to someone else?" (AHAHAHAHA)

23. When they had to put the red bracelets on each other's wrists, CWN's hands were shaking so much, you can literally feel how nervous he is through the screen. (sobs) CWN called Ah Xiang "Cao furen (my wife)" and GX called Cao dage "my husband". (T ^ T)

24. When Xi Sang Gui came into the centre, she said: "Ah Xing (WKX) when will it be your wedding?" GJ just smiled and side-eyed ZZH. XDD

25. GJ said that SHL means a lot to him, it's a special, irreplaceable drama to him. I think he also thanked ZZH. ZZH said: "thank you shanrens who're here and watching in front of the screen for giving us the chance to dream and made our dream come true. (no, thank YOU for bringing Ah Xu into our lives T ^ T)

26. Picking winners again and CWN was trying so hard to find the bottom/ centre area card. (so cute)

27. ZZH & GJ singing Tian Wen, ZZH got confused at the start and GJ helped him to get back into the right key, they both laughed and it was just so cuteeeee. And GJ said: "everyone together" which made ZZH laugh cuz you don't usually say that during a slow song lmao.

28. Liu Qianqiao presented 嗑 upside down which is phonetically “嗑到了/ kdl” and it means my ship (cp) is sailing.

Day 2

[takaraphoenix]

04 fandom ask how about a show I haven't heard you talk about in a hot minute. Phineas and Ferb?

I kind of enjoyed you discovering the weird and wonderful cartoon most of the people under 25 grew up with. I think that's a good age range cuz I'm under that and I definitely grew up with it as a good part of my childhood but I'm also still well into cartoons in going in my twenties lol... my birthday was last month and I had quite the number of Elena of avalor presents. You can do that fandom if you want to but not necessary

Well, happy belated birthday first! And then thanks for playing! And also, yeeeah I haven’t been watching Phineas and Ferb in a bit, the 10 minute format asks a lot of concentration of me that I simply don’t have lately so it’s on the backburner. I got the tab open and I definitely wanna finish it because I like the show, but I just don’t have the space for it right now.

Phineas and Ferb:

the character i least understand: Baljeet? I mean, he is... best friends with his bully... that is such a weird dynamic, I genuinely do not understand it at all?

interactions i enjoyed the most: Heinz and Perry, for sure, they’re so weird

the character who scares me the most: Heinz, Phineas and Ferb like those three have the actual capability to destroy the world if they so deem but all three use this power for incredibly specific stupid silly things, like imagine what they could do if they actually tried to be evil? Terrifying

the character who is mostly like me: I really don’t think any of them tbh

hottest looks character: Vanessa probably?

one thing i dislike about my fave character: sometimes, Isabella is very passive-aggressive with Phineas when he once again completely fails at realizing something is/could be romantic, I feel like clearer communication would be the better approach and like that boy needs these things spelled out for him so just spell it out for him

one thing i like about my hated character: I... don’t hate any of the characters? Aside from maybe Heinz’s parents I guess? And like... the thing I like about them is that they... made... Heinz, I guess? xD

a quote or scene that haunts me: The fact that in Isabella’s head, Phineas is a centaur for some reason

a death that left me indifferent: no one has died (yet)

a character i wish died but didn’t: none, nope, this show doesn’t have such characters

my ship that never sailed: I dunno, I do think Vanessa/Candace would be hella cute and a great way to tie the two plots more together also queers in a Disney show that early, could you imagine

Elena of Avalor:

the character i least understand: Naomi when she went “well, your cousin who you love like a brother just betrayed you and is on the run and so are dangerous sorcerers but like I’ll just fuck off to travel the world now because that’s what I need”, like I understand that being a captain is what she always wanted but that timing was incredibly insensitive considering their friendship and her own commitment into being a council member? Like, the open sea doesn’t run away, it would still be there after they caught Esteban, but to leave Elena and Avalor like that, during times where she - as one of only two (2) people in the entire country who actually can read the freaking ancient language - would have been needed? That made no sense for her character

interactions i enjoyed the most: Elena and Naomi, Elena and Isabel

the character who scares me the most: None, I think?

the character who is mostly like me: Maybe Mateo, a little?

hottest looks character: Ash Delgado

one thing i dislike about my fave character: For a princess, Elena is really bad at deligating and like... even into the final season, she proves to be bad at that and at that point, she should have spent years learning to deligate, you can not run around and solve every problem yourself once you’re queen and you do have a big network of people you can trust

one thing i like about my hated character: error, redeeming qualities on Shuriki not found

a quote or scene that haunts me: okay so on a more complex level, the fact that Elena can see and talk to their parents and just didn’t fucking tell Isabel for forever, I get it is only one day a year that she can talk to them, but... she really just... forgot to tell other people that she could see ghosts, more specifically her dead parents, when there is Isabel and their grandparents and they all deserved a chance to talk to them too, even if just indirectly. So, it haunts me that the second Dias de los Muertos episode wasn’t just their family, together, and just... talking

a death that left me indifferent: Did anyone die, aside from the pre-dead parents? I don’t think so

a character i wish died but didn’t: Nope, not really

my ship that never sailed: Elena/Naomi. Y’all can say what you want but if that finale wasn’t queerbaity af, when Elena approached Naomi when she was supposed to pick a partner to dance with, while the boys puffed their chests out hoping they would be chosen and for a split-second even Naomi thought Elena wanted to dance with her? I really thought they pulled a “queer in the last second” there and I think they should. I am already eternally grateful that the show didn’t force the four main characters into two heteronormative couples, but can you imagine the raw power of Elena of Avalor, first queer Disney princess?

Send me a fandom and i’ll tell you

[crapitskizaru]

Kidbad™️ x Reader (Sinbad!Eustass Kid)

I thinks after many glorious kidbad edits we need a scenario with his s/o from the movie 😂.Maybe the part when the island comes to life when they stoped to repair and arguining I can see them doing that.

Warning: dumbass kiddo cuz this is how im trying to comfort myself after dino disaster™️

Word Count: 1,6k

He caressed the ship’s side with affection, as if he was sharing an intimate moment with his lover.

“How did one person do so much damage?” he muttered more to himself than to the dog but Spike responded anyway, wiggling his tail enthusiastically. 

“You like them, don’t you?” Kid couldn’t help but pat the dog’s back. “You damn traitor.”

The island they temporarily stopped at seemed promising - at least from afar. They determined there should be enough wood to repair the damages; even though Kid knew the ship would have been fine without any renovations, his eyes hurt whenever they landed on broken pieces of once-impressive and, far more important, expensive mahogany carvings lying around the deck. 

“All right, listen up. We’re here for ten minutes,” Killer announced. “You get lost, you get left.” 

With a deep sigh, the captain gathered himself from the floor. His crew was already leaving the ship, mostly to feel a steady ground beneath their feet. Repairing their captain’s beloved ship was one of the lowest points on their list of priorities, but Kid couldn’t complain - as long as they brought the essential materials. 

“So I’m going to need a full set of chisels, the jack plane, and about a cord of cut wood.” 

“You heard the captain. Find some logs and be quick about it.” Killer grabbed a bucket and started getting off the ship himself. He wanted to add some comforting words at the sight of Kid’s pained expression when the man discovered yet another scratch on the ship’s side.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Your voice made Kid flinch halfway through patting the damaged railing. “You only need a little tree sap, and she’ll be as good as new.”

“When I want your advice, I’ll-” he stopped abruptly when you jumped onto the island’s ground, ignoring his words, a bucket in hand. “Hey, hey, hey! Where do you think you’re going?” 

Kid tried to suppress the incoming wave of anger when all of the response he got from you was silence - and your back turned to him. 

“Well, fine. At least take someone with y-” 

Words got stuck in his throat and got smothered away as soon as he spotted the rest of his crew surrounding you, stupid grins plastered on their faces.

“Why, thank you,” you chimed, putting on a little act just to see the hateful expression of your captain’s. “How nice to see some men haven’t forgotten a little common courtesy.” 

Killer was about to leave the ship but he stopped at the sound of someone gritting their teeth. 

“Common courtesy,” Kid muttered. “Not so fast, Killer.” 

“But you know they’re right. The tree sap would be perfect for-” 

“Just. Stay with the ship.” 

Kid didn’t like the suppressed sigh of his first mate - this kind of sigh a parent lets out when their child keeps whining to get a new toy. Kid didn’t like the island either; the sun was shining just too brightly, the trunks of trees too thin to make use of, the ground far too dry. 

And them. Still accompanied by Kid’s dumb mates, they wandered around with that annoying, innocent expression on their face. Kid struggled to keep up on the steep hill of the island. 

“I already said ‘thank you’!” he yelled after the group. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?” 

“It’s about repairing the ship.” You approached the first tree you could lay your eyes on. “If I break something, I fix it. Um, knife, please.” 

“Oh, yeah, like I’d give you a weapon?” 

Never before had Kid felt so betrayed by his crew than at that moment. The knives they always spent so much time on sharpening were now eagerly offered up to literally the worst person that ever walked on the planet. 

“Thank you, Heat,” you smirked flirtatiously and grabbed his knife. It took a lot of effort, but eventually you managed to cut through the tree’s bark and catch the flowing stream of its sap into the bucket. 

“You know, you really need to be more courteous, captain. He, he.” Heat didn’t get a chance to react when his captain’s fist landed directly on his face, sending him backward. 

“Oh, great,” Kid murmured. “Now I’m getting etiquette lessons from a fried bilge rat.” 

“Well, they did save the ship, captain.” 

“Why, thank you, Wire.” 

“And now they’re helping to fix it!”

“Very handy, I say. And brave-” 

“This...disaster of a person wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail!” Kid snarled, waves of heat circulating through his chest. They already destroyed his ship, stole his crew, even his dog, with their stupid remarks and bravery. And charms. And their quick wits. And-

“Honestly, you’re the most boorish, pig-headed man I’ve ever met,” they complained, piercing him with a glare. 

“Oi, kitten. I’ve seen the highborn boys your type hangs out with...and I’m the only man you’ve ever met.”

By the shocked gasps his crew must have faked, Kid figured he may have gone too far - his worries evaporating in a speed of light as soon as a bucket hit the back of his head, cold, slimy liquid running down his spine. 

He turned around with a smirk. Did they really want to start a fight with him? 

“Oh, no. No, no-” You had to stop and close your mouth so that you wouldn’t swallow a missile of stinky mud which hit your face with surprising strength, making you stumble. 

He was unbearable. He was awful. He was just the worst.

“You...you...” You searched for an accurate adjective while wiping the mud off of your face. “Egoistical...” 

“You spoiled...” 

“-disrespectful,” A particular, and also quite unfortunate, lobster crawling around seemed just right to be used as a projectile so you picked it up. “Pretentious, pompous-”

“Deluded!” Kid shook his goggles to get rid of the tree sap inside of them. “High and mighty...” 

But you were already too pumped up to care about anything he wanted to say, now throwing every little, or not so little, thing that had been unlucky to lay within close proximity. “-self-centered, untrustworthy, ungrateful, impossible, insufferable...” 

“At least I’m not repressed!” Kid yelled, finally stopping your rant. 

“Repressed?” The question ended up being gritted through your teeth. “I’ll show you repressed!” 

You snatched a plank from the ground - it must have been attached to a root, but the boiling anger in your gut gave you a surge of strength as you lifted it up and was about to poetically slap your captain across the face and knock away that stupid expression. 

But before you made your new dream come true, the ground shivered underneath your feet. 

“What the...?” 

All the trees and bushes suddenly disappeared, as if sucked into the island. You were blinded by a sudden light and a lantern, a huge ball of white, moved towards your group. 

“Put it back,” Kid ordered, separating the words, and for once - you listened. 

If the island turned out to be an enormous sea creature...Your chances of making it back to the ship were dropping with each second. 

The ground moved again, revealing an eyeball the size of a swimming pool; and it was staring straight at you. 

“Ew!” you couldn’t help but flinch. 

“Ew!” Heat grimaced as he lost his balance and fell right onto the eye, landing on a slimy substance. “Ew!” he exclaimed once again when Spike started to lick the mucus with awful enthusiasm. 

“Run!” Kid’s roar snapped you out of the paralysis as all of your crewmates - including you - suddenly discovered their hidden talent in sprinting with the speed of light. “It’s a fucking fish! Killer!” 

You were far too scared to care about Kid practically shouting into your ear, your legs seemingly lifting you off the ground and into the air, gusts of wind blowing around your whole frame. 

Kid noticed the gap between the fish’s flipper and its body before you did. “Jump!” 

And so you jumped, not paying attention to how wide the gap was - for all you cared, it could be the size of the Grand Canyon and you would have still taken a leap - what mattered was getting to the ship in one piece and sailing away. 

You lost your balance on the other side, stumbling forward and into the arms of the most annoying man on Earth. But he did soften your landing, so you sent him a thankful smile. 

He was about to say something but you were soon whooshed away by the rest of the crew making it through the precipice, all of you sliding down the fish’s side - you were blinded by speed, tearing up, the rush of air knocking the breath out of your lungs. 

With the corner of your eye, you noticed Killer guiding the ship in your direction. 

Thank you, God, for Killer, you managed to think before you were once again launched into the air. 

You were already starting to worry about getting your face smashed into the wooden deck before a pair of arms caught you, and you found yourself in the embrace of the worst captain the world had ever seen. But you wouldn’t ever swap him for any other captain, no way. 

Landing on two feet beside Killer, you and Kid watched in awe as the giant fish moved from its previous spot, preparing to swim away and sending a whole wave of salty ocean water into the deck of the ship. 

As the fish submerged, only the creaking of the railing and the annoyed groans of the crew disturbed the silence. 

“I don’t know about you,” Kid panted slightly, taunting you with a raised eyebrow. “But I ain’t ever doing this shit again.” 

[dragonastra]

1-100 on the DnD questions, for Deah >:3

Wow you're sure as hell fishing to kill me huh xD

I'll answer these under a read more cuz FUCK. I'll also try to keep it spoiler free -- I may mention stuff that hasn't come up in game but it would be stuff that might not ever come up explicitly anyway. Everything else has either been said or can be gleaned.

If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead Probably what she had been doing -- being a pirate

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life Probably Maddie and/or Gael. Maddie is a divine soul sorcerer and probably the one Deah is closest to. Gael is our barbarian/paladin who is probably the emotional backbone of the group? He is very earnest and genuine, and also hits like a brick house.

What are your character’s core moral beliefs? [Brushes off notes I made like a year ago] Promises must be kept, and debts one day fulfilled. Clean up the messes you made. Family is more important than self. Survival means not letting the past define you. (Not all morals but those are her ideals)

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings? She has a twin brother, whom she would die for. Their relationship used to be solid, but theyve currently broken apart somewhat due to lies and building tension, and the brother needing to go his own way. She is still very broken up about it. Her parents are both dead, and she has not spoken of much closeness there, but describes them as "they tried their best." Her pirate captain was basically a surrogate father for her teenage years and onward until their separation, and she... misses him.

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races? Not really. She probably doesnt trust ratfolk based on where she grew up, but beyond that? If you're good, you're good.

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority? (: fuck em. She is... shall we say... less inclined to help rich people.

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc. She's grown out her undercut so she has an asymmetrical style, one side of her head buzzed. She is still wearing her bright red pirate coat, but now wears a dark brown vest with purple accents underneath, as well as a long black sleeve to cover magical scars she received when she accepted a warlock pact with the hunter god. Also covering her scars is a gauntlet made by Maddie, so that they can't be detected by Detect Good and Evil and such.

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most? Sometimes she still thinks about that nap she had on the beach at a random island they had stopped at to restock on food.

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship? As i mentioned, she has a pact with the hunter god, Erastil. She does not worship him. In fact, she rather doesnt like gods much. She doesnt really understand other worshippers, but if they're not hurting anyone with it she doesn't really care. Their worship doesnt affect her.

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be? Let's get this binch some navigator's tools finally!

Describe your character’s current relationship with the player character sitting to your right. We are entirely online so we don't really have table seating. Based on the order of our nicknames in discord though, that would be... Haru, our new kitsune Oracle who joined us to fill a gap while some other players went on hiatus. Deah is uncertain about him, and she is generally pretty wary about strangers in her party, but he is useful. Their relationship is not deep by any means tbh.

What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence? Stop the lord of the sea, and stop Aleksander.

Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.? ;) you'll have to ask her

Has your character ever been in love? Before the campaign, certainly not. She's hella ace, and doesn't open up easily, so she's got some confusing feelings right now for Maddie ;)

What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character The battle against Tokt, since this was the battle that she was able to help save a person from being possessed by a demon -- something she figured out beforehand and convinced her team about.

If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead? I mean... probably a fighter???? Or maybe a full warlock, if she was desperate enough.

What is your character’s favorite season? Probably the fall? Sailing is usually good during that time, plus the harvest is coming in on land, so there's a lot of fresh food.

What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology? She would be an Aries based on her birthday! Our homebrew world just uses "Season Day" as time markers, with 90 days each season. She was born on Spring 12, which would translate to the first week of April.

Where in the world does your character most want to visit? She's been all over as an adventurer and a sailor. The place she'd like to visit the most is one she doesn't know about -- somewhere important to her old captain.

What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made? Deah would maybe even say joining the pirates. It was the happiest she'd ever been, but it led her brother to a path he regrets and feels pain over, and she feels a... bit guilty about that.

Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories? The only scars she has are from her pact to Erastil. She hides them, though. She's not ashamed of them, but she likes to keep them to herself... she's private like that.

What animal best represents your character? I always liken her to a hawk, especially a sea hawk. In some ways she’s like a cobra or a porcupine too -- kind of hard to get close to!

If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be? 😬

Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with? I don't know about most in common, really, but she gets along easiest with Ro, our halfling. Their banter is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻. Honestly though? She probably has the most in common with Mercy, our tiefling fighter/paladin.

Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made? She probably regrets the party not staying behind in a certain town after a powerful enemy escaped. They thought the immediate threat had been dealt with and that another team from their guild could keep watch over the town, but then that team got surprised by an undead and two of them died. She feels at least partially responsible for that.

What would your character say their best trait would be? Her ability to perceive and track things. She has the observant feat plus the invocation that lets her see through even magical darkness!

What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational? Being abandoned.

What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party? No where else to go, really. Like, sure, she likes at least most of them and they've been through a lot!!! And she DOES you know, feel like this is a stable job, and she does feel good helping people. But... she really does have no where else to go. :(

What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class? She does enjoy reading, though she's a little slow. Her favorite books are detective/mystery novels! She also sometimes likes to practice magic tricks (like... sleight of hand stuff). And technically this isnt outside of her class, but she really does enjoy training. Let's her burn off steam.

What would most people think when they first see your character? Pretty little waif, but that resting bitch face looks like she will cut me of I even say hello (this is by design).

What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?) [Googles five man band] probably Lancer. Initially she wanted to be the Leader type but with the group dynamics and her own insecurities and issues, that isnt really truly possible for her. But she still tries to lead...

What is your character the most insecure about? :)

What person does your character admire most? Her old ship captain. Her DEAD ship captain :(

What does your character admire and dislike the most about the player character sitting to your left? She admires maddie's strength and kindness (and to a degree, innocence). Maddie's cooking skills. Maddie's family. She dislikes how nervous/anxious and possibly depressed Maddie can get :c

Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)? Her lowest stat is strength, and her second lowest is constitution. This is because she grew up poor, and was at times starving and definitely malnourished. Once she was om the pirate ship, she was regularly fed though.

What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music? I've been saying if she was in modern time, her favorite band would be Florence and the Machine. There's just something about the Florence sound that speaks to her. She'd definitely be into that kind of music, plus some heavier stuff leaning more towards metal or symphonic metal...

What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.) She's got the soul of a goth but the hobbies of a jock (in our team's college AU she's totally on the fencing and sailing teams). When I've drawn her in modern day she is usually wearing athleisure (capris leggings, loose tank top, sports bra, e.g.) but also it's mostly dark colors. She's Joth.

What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them? Toby :) just kidding, the pseudodragon isn't an item!!! Specifically collected during the adventure, probably her force blade. Her brother had found it, but had given it to her, near the beginning of the adventure.

Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find? She's not really looking out for items, no.

Where does your character feel the most at home? On the beach, on the ship. Specific locations to call home, she does finally feel like she has a stable place to call home in the patty's estate.

Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people? She's worn disguises and fake names before, but that's mostly to protect herself during her pirate years. She doesn't care a whole lot, but she does want to appear somewhat intimidating so that unsavoury people won't approach her LMAO. But she also wants to be seen as nice by children and poor folk, so she does soften a bit when they're around.

What does your character think is the true meaning of life? Happiness. Safety. Survival. Family/community.

What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.) She's always got a slight scent of salt on her, reminding you just a bit of the sea. For herself, she prefers to just smell... clean, so there's a fresher floral scent lingering...

Does your character think more with their heart or their brain? She tries to think more with her brain but sometimes the bottled up emotions get to be a bit much.

What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare? BEING. ABANDONED.

What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragonmarked Houses, royal crown, etc.) She hates (most) rich people and used to be a pirate, so you can kind of figure it out.

How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends? :(

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?) I dunno man she is just taking things one step at a time.

What colors are associated with your character? Red is her primary color. She also uses blacks/dark grays and a light purple as an accent. She's using more brown now tho to represent her connection to the hunter god.

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances? Maddie always. Then Ro. Then Gael. Haru would probably be up there because he is squishy and also mostly blind.

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos? A mix of pathos and logos is most effective on Deah. Logos probably most of all, but there are pathos buttons that hold away above all that... if you know which buttons to press.

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for? Currently? To bring back her pirate captain. She knows its selfish but...

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.? Her favorite spell is stab with rapier.

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party? She keeps secrets pretty regularly! Basically if the party needs to know, then the secret should be shared. But if it doesnt really affect the group or something important, and the person doesnt want to share, then go ahead and keep the secret.

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by? Dragons probably, at this point. Definitely an influence by me the player, haha, but it's buoyed by an early meeting with a particular dragon that sparked her interest.

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she didnt have life plans as a kid. She just wanted her and her brother to live.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond? That's already happened LMAO. Deah didnt know how to react so her brain blur screened and she ran away from the situation for a bit.

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with? If it only involved herself, Deah would probably go do it. But if it was a huge net loss for the group, she wouldn't, if that makes sense? It's hard to make sweeping statements like that.

Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s? She values her own interest for sure, but she would prioritize the party's if one meant dunking on the other. She knows what it's like to sail with a tight knit crew; sometimes you sacrifice to make the group as a whole better/happier.

What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group? Oh gosh, uh.... I mean, if they decide to help her enemies (not likely to happen, there are a couple shared ones). If they don't let her do something she REALLY wants... I can't really think of anything specific.

How does your character imagine the way they will die? Tragically. 

What is your character’s greatest achievement? Taming her pseudodragon ;w;

Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal? Hmm... not to a certain degree. Eh, probably not. She only really wants to risk herself, not others. Risking others doesn't give them the choice.

What is your character’s opinion on killing others? She does it all the time!! But if they're defenseless or not fighting back, she won't.

What is your character’s favorite food? Beverage? She really loves fresh baked bread!! As for beverage, uh.... I guess she'd like water with like, something fruity mixed in???

How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know? To the poor and to kids? Very. Also, recently, she gave all of the money she got from a quest to a townsperson to help them rebuild their city a bit (secretly of course. Not even her team knows she did that, though maybe some of them suspect hahaha)

What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party? Once again... probably most envious of Maddie!! She comes up a lot doesn't she ;P

The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe? Maddie vs Haru? Shed probably lean towards Maddie :p

What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex? I've described Deah as Panromantic Asexual. She is rather sex averse and has difficulty pinpointing romantic feelings as well, being rather prickly at times.

What is your character’s biggest pet peeve? When people try to dig into something she doesn't want to share at the moment.

Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc. The current objective/situation involves her backstory, so you'll see soon ;)

Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret? Maddie of course! She trusts Gael, but not with secrets. Similarly, she trusts Mercy to hold an oath to the best of her ability, but not if a secret comes up -- same with Rudi. Ro does what she wants LMAO and she isnt telling Haru anything personal atm.

If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life? I dont want to think about that question and neither does Deah

What makes your character feel safe? Having her weapons. Having her pact/her pact scars.

If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be? Nah, she likes Fortune's Blades

What memory does your character want to forget the most? Cal leaving. It's probably her most painful memory.

If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so? She's already multi classed and her reasons for becoming a warlock are kind of muddied. She explained them initially but maaaaybe wasn't 100% truthful. If she had to pick a third, probably uh.... fighter?????

What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?) I would HOPE she would be friends with Elizabeth Swan (: but idk lol

What unusual talents does your character possess? Sharp senses and magic tricks.

How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower? It's rather situational. She tries to be a leader type, but she also realizes she's not at the top of the leader chain (and, with her party, at times different people take the head, so it's almost more consult-y like).

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?) The player of Cal, her brother, chose his name first from a generator. I like to construct my names sometimes from different name elements, so I made hers to match the sound of her twin's (that is, make it sound like it came from the same language). Her name is constructed of "Feld-" (field) and "-Deah" (dye) so her first name translates roughly to "field of dye." Her original last name is Shearwater, which is a real life sea bird but also follows the traditional elven naming convention (their dad was an elf). She never felt much of an attachment to her last name. She recently changed her last name to Blackheart, which was the moniker of her captain.

Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert? Introvert for sure

How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all? She would go as far as she needs to, but would never force others to make that same decision.

What does your character want to be remembered by? At one point she thought she would eventually be a famous pirate captain. But mostly I think she just wants to be remembered by those who love her and by those she helped...

What would be your character’s major in college? Fuck, uh... I had discussed this before.... I think I made her pre-law??? Math major???

Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else? Something else. She doesn't really care about that, she's just Being.

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character? I believe last it was discussed I had picked the Chariot for her.

Where does your character see themselves in 20 years? If not dead from adventuring, then settled somewhere nice, hopefully...

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it? For a long time she was the Sokka of the group, the only non-magic user. Then she got her pact. She's still kind of awkward about it, and at times really doesn't like magic, but she sees it as a tool. A means to an end.

Who is your character’s biggest rival? Rival?????? I guess Morrigan tbh??? Cuz a rival isn't an enemy, and she had a thing going with Morrigan (her player is on hiatus tho). In some ways she rivals Mercy too. A dance of similarities and differences.

What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure? Fine, beautiful dresses. She doesn't own any, because it's a waste of money, but.... she wants them. Secretly.

What does your character hope for the afterlife? Peace and rest.

Who in the party does your character trust the least? Haru, currently, simply by virtue of being new.

What is your character’s biggest flaw? BIGGEST flaw???? Uhhhmmm..... Her secrecy probably. Her tendency to run away from really big, painful problems, to bottle up her emotions around that until everything just gets worse.

How did your character learn the languages that they speak? Common, prucrician and Elvish she learned just growing up. Deep, she just... mysteriously knows. Doesn't know why she can speak it. Draconic she learned at first from Rudi, and then from a dragonborn NPC to finish her lessons during a timeskip.

What is your character’s favorite school of magic/type of weaponry? Rapier

What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness? Why must she choose? Wealth, because that brings health and happiness in her eyes. (Because money buys food and when you have food.....)

What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves? I know it's hard, but open up more. You don't have to keep it to yourself to protect others. Your brother can be your friend as well... you don't have to just keep holding yourself back for your friends and family.

Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about? She doesn't feel super strongly about politics, having been a pirate. She feels strongly about protecting children and poor though, as I've mentioned.

What, currently, is your character the most curious about? The afterlife. Erastil, but specifically just that one god. Her ship captain.

[lovecraftian-druid]

Pactborn - Part II

NOTE #1: This is a chapter-long post of a character’s backstory, so hit your Keurig for a warm cuppa and curl up under a blanket, cuz this isn’t a quick scroll sort of post.

NOTE #2: I’m changing this submission up from the second person tense of the previous post (the one I used when talking to my PC during her zero level session) to the first person tense, just to shake things up and try on different styles. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed experiencing it!

I wake up to the warmth of the morning sun on my face and the smell of bread baking downstairs: normally, this would feel like any other morning here in Khaadeehava, but this morning feels different. Maybe it’s because today the annual celebration of Al’adwa, the festival of Solune where everyone eats street food, plays games, and watches the solar eclipse; or maybe it’s because of the amazing dream I had again of the nice man with the shield who takes me flying over the city and the ocean (sometimes, I like to pretend that the big ships I see in my dreams are Papa’s); or maybe it was the weird feeling in my stomach when I woke up: I thought – no, felt – like someone was watching me…

Regardless, I throw my legs over the side of the bed, glancing over at my outfit for later, as Mama calls up to me, “Kal’ya, darling, a letter is just in – I think you know who sent it!” With my gangly form, I sprint like a whirlwind down the stairs to see Mama fixing breakfast in the kitchen and a letter waiting for me on the supper table – on it is the seal I’ve come to recognize and love: the insignia of the Felgran Fleet, the royal navy of the next region over from Ghaan. Papa joined the navy when I was five years old, and his work has kept him away at sea for sometimes months at a time for the last three years. It’s so exciting to read his notes when he can write though! He tells me stories of all sorts of different people, different types of weather, and strange sea creatures he’s had to encounter. I carefully tear along the side of the envelope to pull out his message to me – it reads:

                                              ~ Wayfarer’s Tavern ~

Savita 22nd, 410

My little cinnamon stick,

I hope this letter finds you well - my journey has taken me around the coast again into the frigid waters of the Gheaţă Ocean to a region known as Chladny (have you read about this place in your studies?). It never ceases to amaze me how we are only a mere 30 days apart and yet, where hot sand lies beneath your feet at home, frozen snow lies beneath mine as I stand here on the Zamuerzat Wharf. How I wish I could bring you with me! Perhaps when you are 10, then we will sail around the entire continent of Baenomir. Until then, I hope you will enjoy this trinket (called a “compass”) I picked up in one of the shops in the port - it is Dwarven made and is said to be able to tell you which direction you travel. May it direct your paths until mine direct me home to you. I know I have been gone longer than usual, but I may be home within the next month.

Give your mother my love and save the best of it for yourself,

Papa

I miss Papa so much! And I want to go sailing so badly! Sometimes, when Mama sends me on errands, I’ll go to the docks down in the Lahira Marina just to watch the ships go in and out of the port. I’d give anything to sail a great big ship like one of those.

Before my mind can wander far, I remember the part in the letter where Papa mentioned a trinket – my eyes scan the table for a package and quickly find it and unwrap it: it’s a…metal box? I study it more closely. Dad has told me before about dwarves – that they’re a little shorter than most humans but are very, very smart and can make the most incredible things out of metal! As I turn the “compass” over in my hands, I see that the bronze casing holds some notches and a couple dials behind a thick piece of glass. I spin around the room and watch the needles whirl around, and it makes me giggle. Rubbing my thumbs over the front of the compass, I feel the cold, shaped metal shaped into the four points on the device – they are of four faces, and all have tiny little red gems fitted into their eyes, ears, and foreheads. A couple of the faces look a little creepy, but one looks like a tiger and another looks like a grumpy version of Sultan Hunab! The top face, nearest the “N,” has a large hat like the sultan wears, and it’s around this hat that the cord of the compass is wrapped and tied.

Excited to show Mama, I run into the kitchen with my letter and trinket. “Look, Mama! Look what Papa sent!” I slap both down onto the table, eager for her to read the letter and to marvel at my new treasure. “Papa says he got this for me and that it shows me where I’m going! Look!” I shove the compass closer towards her face, obscuring her vision for a moment as her head jerks backwards in surprise.

“Hold on, Ka’lya, hold on, let me read your letter first!” she says as she chuckles warmly with shared enthusiasm. She finishes reading the letter then extends her hand to examine my gift before laying eyes on the grimacing faces, letting out a short gasp, and nearly throwing the compass as she recoils from it. I scramble clumsily to catch it before it hits the ground, barely getting a grip on it before it clambers to the floor. I know the look I give her is one of confusion and frustration, and she quickly tries to regain control of herself. “I’m sorry, I—I don’t know what came over me…” she says as she wipes her hands on her apron and goes back to scrubbing out a bread pan.

Mama is usually a pretty tough lady: she does everything for Jida, Jido, and me. She might not be an adventurer like some of the people in the stories Papa tells me, but she still is kind of like a hero – she cooks and cleans and makes things for Jida and Jido’s stall down in the bazaar sometimes. Mama told me once that she even saw a dragon, but she doesn’t like to talk about it; she said it makes her sad when she thinks about it. Maybe this reminded her of something that made her sad once…

I don’t bring up the compass again as I quickly gulp down the delicious breakfast Mama made and, after putting my plate in the sink, I run upstairs to get ready for the day. Mama saved up some extra silver to buy me a new outfit for the Al’adwa celebration tonight – a new pair of pants with a nice tangerine and turquoise shirt. When Papa comes home, he brings home lots of coin to help support us while he’s gone; but the longer he’s gone, the more we have to do what Mama calls “cut corners.” She says that sometimes you have to do difficult things to get by. But for tonight, she must have put that aside, because as I look in the mirror, holding the sleeveless, silky-soft shirt up to my torso, I feel like it is much too nice for me to ever wear out of the house.

Carefully pulling the shirt over my head as though it could tear at any moment, I smooth it down over my long waist then begin to brush my long, tangled black hair. I look up for a moment to comb out a knot, and I meet my own glance in the reflection – I’m not much for prettying myself up, so looking in the mirror is a rare occurrence and seeing my two different color eyes always catches me off guard. My right eye is a dark brown just like Mama and Papa’s; but my left eye is a pale blue. Jida says that that is where an angel must have kissed me before I was born. Mama tells me that it’s unique and something to be proud of, but the other kids in town usually just make fun of me over it.

I must have been upstairs for a while now, because I’m surprised when Mama yells up to me that it’s time to head into the market district for the festivities. Before leaving my room, I brush a long section of hair down over my left eye. Joining Mama on the veranda, we walk hand in hand to the bazaar. “Your cousins Ravi and Baru will probably be here, you know – you’ll have to try to find them so that you can play together,” Mama encourages me, “just be sure to meet me back and Jida and Jido’s stall before the eclipse makes it get too dark, alright?”

“Don’t worry,” I assure her. Even though the nice man that visits me in my dreams tells me that my blue eye is a gift, I still don’t know if I like it. I wish sometimes that I were just a normal kid, nothing special. Then maybe I would fit in better.

We meander slowly down the dusty downward slopes of the residential district to the Central Bazaar, and Mama coaxes me to run off while she visits with her friends. I wander aimlessly through the sandy streets for a while, picking up a few dropped pieces of copper and finding myself a food vendor where I buy a kabob – I eat it cautiously, almost leaning forward with each bite, careful not to drip any of the spicy sauce on my new outfit.

As I continue my half-hearted search for my cousins, a foot shoots out from behind a street booth, tripping me and causing the rest of my kabob to go rolling down the path, getting coated in dirt and dust. I look up, surprised, to find two other children pointing and laughing at me – Sai and Danikka. Sai, a scarlet-skinned fire genasi, is a notorious bully, and Danikka, a blue dragonborn, simply runs with him because she’s the tallest girl in our small little school and all the other kids are afraid of her.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going, weird eyes?” Sai goads me.

“AAAAWWWWWW, you gonna cry?” Danikka whines as she chimes in, making me feel that much smaller as she towers over my body, now covered in dirt and kabob sauce. A fire begins to burn deep within me, and my ears and neck start to flush with anger as I pick myself up off the ground. “If you can’t watch your step with those eyes, then maybe you only need one of them!” Danikka threatens, and I barely get my fists up in front of my face in time to deflect her right fist as it comes sailing towards my left eye. Relief floods my system for a moment, and I let my guard down too soon as her opposite hand shoots out with a parry, hitting me square in the eye socket. I stumble backwards in pain, holding my left eye and trying not to cry; disoriented by the thumping of blood as my face begins to swell, I trip again – this time on myself – and fall backwards into a vacant market booth.

I scramble, nearly bear-crawling part of the way until I can properly erect myself, as I watch Sai closing in on me, a cruel grin on his face. He grabs for my ankle as I right myself, only catching the fabric on my loose, baggy new pant leg instead, causing the seam to split as I wriggle out of his grip. I dart off into the streets, my left eye wet with eye-watering pain, and I can hear the two of them giving chase as I dart like a gazelle in and out of alcoves and alleyways, trying to lose them.

After toppling a basket-weaver’s display stand to slow them down, I zigzag my way to a side street and duck beneath another empty booth where I crawl inside the booth’s sliding compartment door beneath the countertop. I wait here for what feels like forever, hearing them find my route, search briefly for me, then move on, still calling my name in unnatural sing-songy voices. I emerge from my hiding place, looking about feverishly for any signs of them, before an altogether different voice takes me by surprise.

“Why do you run, child?” asks a deep, velvety voice from behind me. I jump and turn with my fists raised in reactive terror. Rather than Sai or Danikka though, I see a tall tabaxi man, striped black and orange with a white neck. He stands from his stool behind the merchant booth next to mine, and I can tell there is no way he works at the bazaar: his clothing is much too fancy-looking to be a merchant. He steps forward to share my booth with me, his striped tail flitting back and forth gently from beneath his jade and gold colored brocade robe.

I keep my fists raised, mostly out of mind-numbing fear, as he walks softly on padded feline feet. “Don't allow those hooligans to cause you any despair - I can tell that you are strong and will go on to great things,” he reassures me with a wink, slowly and cautiously bringing one hand up to dust off my shoulders while the other hand lifts a pipe to his mouth. Squinting with my one good eye, I do a double-take before realizing that there is something off about this man’s hands since they look like they are on the wrong wrists. I catch myself staring and quickly – and likely obviously – try to avert my eyes. He doesn’t seem to either notice or care as he continues, “Oh, where are my manners, I suppose I should tell you my name so that I'm not a stranger: you may call me Gilgapaka. And what is yours?"

I swallow a hard, dry lump in my throat before looking up into his large, golden, vertical-slitted eyes – “My name is Ka’l,” is all I can get out. My whole head is now throbbing with pain, and I feel too dizzy to run even though my mind is telling me I should; even so, he seems kind enough to feel bad for me. My eyes, his hands…maybe we’re not all that different after all? Maybe he knows how I feel? Wishing Papa was here, I break down in tears and briefly sob into the tiger-striped man’s side before quickly pulling myself back and rubbing my eyes dry.

“My, what a lovely name that is,” the tabaxi gentleman says as he gently brushes my hair from my face, tucking some of it behind my left ear, “could you write it down for me?" He pulls from his pocket a large piece of parchment covered in lots of beautifully-written words, a lot of them pretty long. I feel bad writing on the paper as it looks important, so when he offers me his piece of charcoal, I try to squeeze my name down in the bottom section that doesn’t have any words on it. He holds it up to the waning sunlit sky as the moons begin their encroachment upon the sun, slowly closing in on both sides of it with each passing moment leading up to the midday eclipse that is to take place in a mere matter of hours. I look up at the parchment, too – I feel a small amount of shame at the sight of my penmanship, shaky with leftover adrenaline coursing through my body like a frightened mouse. He seems pleased with it though since I see him smile at it before saying, “Thank you – I hope we meet again soon, young Ka'l. If I see those nasty children again, I’ll be sure to teach them a lesson for you…and remember: you’re very special. Don’t go forgetting it."

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. He takes one more long puff from his pipe before leaving me alone in the abandoned booth and striding off into the street. I rub my eyes again, but when I look back up, he is gone altogether from the path. Suddenly curious, I rush out into the street, looking this way and that way for any sign of him among the other people milling about in the bazaar, but there is no sign of him anywhere. I don’t even hear the voice of Mama calling out to me as I look down at my clothes…there is not a stitch out of place nor stain to be found.

Quick credit to my amazing cousin (and - coincidentally - the person behind this PC) for helping me with the amazing photos up top.

If you’re interested in keeping up to date with posts on our story’s characters and their origins, let me know (and thank you to all who already have interest)!

Ye Olde Taglist: @serenewrites​, @mayvinwrites​

[whenimgoodandready]

Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, Adrienette, Lukanette, ADRIENETTE! LUKANETTE! ADRIENETTE! LUKANETTE! IDK!? STOP BADGARING ME FANDOM!!! Even Marinette is indecisive about it! She’s just a dumb teenager who doesn’t know what she wants!..........does she?

*Desperada-Marinette and the girl squad were hangin’ out at Julekas house boat listening to Kitty Section rehearse and Marinette and Luka get cozy with each other. It also looks to be that the squad is starting to jump onboard with the Lukanette ship. Well, Adrienette isn’t goin’ anywhere so how much longer are they gonna support something that hasn’t even set sail yet!? Adrien and Kagami show up (having ditched fencing practice) and Marinette quickly leaves Lukas side to not give Adrien the impression she likes Luka. Oh, Marinette, what are we gonna do with you? She even says they’re “just friends” too🤨.

Jagged Stone arrives and he tries to get Juleka and Lukas mother back into the band cuz they had “history”. Oh! Thing is, he fired his guitarist, Vivica, and now he’s looking for a new one. Hmmmm, a new guitarist? Like, someone who knows rock n’ roll? And who’s young and talented? Marinette knows a guy like that! IIIIIIt’s Lu-Adrien!? Whomp! Whomp! Whomp! 🤦‍♀️. Marinette WTF!? Adrien is a classical pianist! I highly doubt he’s strummed a guitar! She knows damn well Luka is a better fit and yet she’s still trying to give Adrien hints she wants him! Okay, Marinette, I know how much you want Adrien, but you can’t just ignore talent when you see it from Luka.

Just then, Vivica shows up in her akumatized form calling herself Desperada! OOOOOH! So she’s that mysterious villainess I saw in “Gamer 2.0”! Well, thanks for the closure! (I’m talking to you person in charge of episode scheduling 😑). Desperada, I like that name, reminds me of a Rihanna song. Thing is, it’s more like a Western name and she didn’t really look “Western”. I mean, she kinda did with the whole musical skeleton make-up look, which is pretty cool, but nothing really “Wild Wild West” to me. It was more like something outta “The Book of Life” or “Coco” with that sugar skull thing. I’m a little fan of westerns where there’s a female outlaw that’s why. Her powers were using any instrument like a gun to capture people in her guitar case with a pic of them appearing on it as a sticker. Let’s just say if she wasn’t a musician, she’d make a bada** sniper!

Anyways, Desperada captures everyone except the love triangle kids and Ladybug is given the lucky charm to bring in extra help from Master Fu again using the snake miraculous! The snake miraculous!? OOOOOH! We saw who that was! (“Party Crasher”), some people in the fandom were right about it too! And now, ladies and gentlemen, the holder of the snake miraculous, (drum roll) Luk(trumpets begin to sound)-ADRIEN!? AGAIN!? (trumpets die out). WTF!? WHY!? Okay, I get it, he did save Luka when Desperada almost got him and as we know, Marinette/Ladybug doesn’t know Adriens Cat Noir, but still! Adrien agrees to it thinking he’ll win over Ladybug in a new superhero form since this time, she knows who he is and becomes “Aspik”...........(turns to the trumpeteers) you guys can sound I guess, (trumpets sound, but not enthusiastically). Okay, thank you.

So um, the snake miraculous is a bracelet of a snake swallowing itself, a Kwami snake like being named Sass (remember him from “Sandboy”!? He’s kinda like the leader of the Kwamies), a harp weapon and its power is “Second Chance” where they can go back a few minutes in time by turning the snake head on their bracelet back and it’s not a one hit power! It can go on as many times until the snake head gets to the end! It’s almost like Bunnyxs power except hers is more serious and can go back (and fourth) many times and it’s more fragile. Huh, I always thought the snake miraculouses power would be hypnotism, but I’m thinking too much “Jungle Book” here (what do snakes have to do with time travel!?). That’s cool! So it’s just Ladybug and Aspik vs. Desperada. It. went. TERRIBLE! Ladybug kept getting captured again and again and again and again and again AND AGAIN! And do you know why!? Cuz Aspik over here was too busy trying to woo Ladybug and not focusing on defeating the bad guy! That’s why!

ENOUGH! Adrien quits cuz he’s had it with being a f**king failure as it’s been 25,913 times! 25,913 TIMES!? 25,913 TIMES!? 25,913 TIMES!? 25,913 TIMES!? DAMN ADRIEN! YOU SUCK! Ladybug finally sees she’s wrong again! So Adrien suggests Luka take the miraculous instead. HALLELUJAH! Ladies and gentlemen, the real holder of the snake miraculous, Viperion, a.k.a. Luka Couffaine! (trumpets sound and end with a big finish!). Now this guy, this guy! Does a hell of a better job than “Aspik” did and it only took him a few tries! Humph!

I apologize for my wild outbursts there, I’m a very passionate writer and I speak what others are afraid to say. I’m like a voice for the people. I’m sure that’s what all of you were probably thinking way in the back of your heads there about the plot that occurred in the episode. I’ve settled down now and I’ll explain more. Ahem, first off, the girl squad are now leaning towards the Lukanette ship cuz they’re probably sick and tired of all the Adrienette nonsense and want something new. More importantly, they think this ship better since Marinette is more comfortable with Luka and how he’s more liberated than the sheltered Adrien. Fair point. The character Vivica/Desperada was based off a fan who won a contest at comic con and was originally supposed to be a veterinarian until they changed it to a guitarist (she looked so cute!). I heard about that, they also said she was supposed to be a fan of Cat Noir and was upset that he wasn’t getting as much recognition as Ladybug. It would’ve been nice cuz according to my Love Chart (which I legit have), nobody and I mean NOBODY likes Cat Noir, so cut him some slack and give him at least one fangirl! C’mon! Adrien failed at being the snake miraculous holder, but it’s not because he sucked (25,913 TIMES!? That’s like 3 months!), but it’s cuz there was no black cat hero to assist Ladybug! It was just Ladybug and Aspik and no Cat Noir! I thought they would’ve realized by now that they can’t defeat the villain unless it’s both of ‘em (plus a third or fourth party if necessary) to stop ‘em! Sure Ladybug defeated Style Queen by herself, but at least she had a “black cat” like someone there to help! It has to be Ladybug and Cat Noir! Good luck/Bad luck, Yin/Yang! That’s the idea! The reason why they didn’t see that was cuz they were both blinded by love! Marinette/Ladybug mostly picked Adrien to be the snake miraculous holder cuz she thought, “OMG! I’m gonna be fighting crime with my crush!” and Adrien/Cat Noir said yes cuz he thought, “Maybe she’ll love me this time if she knows who I am!” :P. Even Plagg thought it was a bad idea cuz he knew they needed Cat Noir and they weren’t even focused on Desperada and just trying to court each other! You’d think Marinette/Ladybug would’ve listened to her own words about Adrien being a distraction in her life (“Chameleon”). Speaking of courting, during one of Aspiks failed Second Chances, he confessed to Ladybug that he was Cat Noir (cuz she knows he’s Adrien as Aspik) and we only see a brief look of shock on her face before she’s captured again. Wonder what was quickly goin’ through her head at that point? Flashbacks of all her moments with him as himself and Cat and how she acted like both herselves in front of ‘em realizing how stupid she’s been? Lol! The shocks gonna be more wilder when it happens though and I’ll be there to see it. Ladybug really should’ve picked Luka first cuz at least he was bold enough to step in and distract Desperada to save Ladybug like he did as Viperion. Poor Adrien though, now he’s gonna think his Lady is too incompetent to be a hero. Well, not a “snake” hero at least, but a different animal hero if only she knew. The problem is Marinette is indecisive. She doesn’t know what she wants which is why she can’t choose between Adrien and Luka. Tikki and Kagami can see that and the latter even points out how Marinette needs to make up her mind already! Actually, according to the Season 3 canon episode order, this is actually the start of the mid episodes which means things won’t get more complicated ‘til the end. Especially when the last few episodes are more focused on the love issues. Currently, we’re dealing with plot right now, but we’ll eventually get there.

[cyberneticlagomorph]

>another stream

>this time jack is sailing through the air on strange leathery wings. Sure he could probably levitate, but this is SPACE

>the chat has slowed down some and the current trend is telling Jack to eat weird things and call him a coward while doing so

>"internmarce: eat the spaceweed you coward"

>jack is ignoring these requests and they soon slam to a sudden halt as the market comes into view.

>it looks like a massive labyrinthine expanse of a space-coral reef, a choir of curator song reverberates from every nook and cranny. There is a boat tethered up outside, a ship really, it looks plucked straight from Treasure Planet

>there are curators everywhere, massive 10+ foot tall sapient space bats with starry pelts and horns. Some are wearing cloaks, others are naked. All of them have wares to sell

>and what wares they are, strange weapons for hunting creatures of the Wilderness, pelts, feathers, furs, impossible plants

>there are bottled emotions, and candles made of memories

>a curator as thin and sleek as a weasel sings a song of paints and in unfathomable colors without names. Their fur is dyed a dozen shifting hues, their wings a tapestry of tattoos. They spread them wide as Jack comes closer and the light shining through them makes them look like stained glass

>another sings of bones and things, of fat and meat, of things that fought being caught and will now rest easy on your plate. The curator is large and powerful, a skilled hunter and butcher surrounded by hanging meats, roasted carcasses of strange creatures slathered in their own rendered fats

>the market is dizzying, full of countless shops and countless merchants, bickering and bartering as much as they're selling

>the chat is shouting for jack to look this way and that but it all becomes too much for him and he retreats outside to calm down.

>someone is singing a shanty, an advertisement shaped like the sea. They sing of ships that sail that stars, and stealing the beating hearts of sun-god tyrants to power them

>the song radiates from the ship tethered to the coral market, it's carved from huge chunks of chitin with tough looking sails that could never tear, shaped into massive leathery bat wings. There are curators here too but they look rougher somehow, scarred and near feral, they sing shanties of their wares and stories of the Wilderness

>it's calmer here, less hectic than the market proper

>the rough looking pirate bats offer fishing rods and things hewn from chitin, a ship of jack's own perhaps, or other fantastic things. They all fall silent as a much bigger curator steps on deck, nose twitching

>he beckons jack into his cabin, much to the chat's alarm. They go full horror movie viewer begging him not to go.

>it's brighter in the cabin, the place is lit by strange lanterns and features a machine like the one at jack's ranch only bigger and connected to a spiderweb of pipes that run through the ship like veins.

> the curator can be seen clearly now, he's old and grizzled, with a silver muzzle and so many scars he looks like a road map. He is surrounded by bottles of souls, things called judgment eggs and strange space booze. The chat immediately breaks into capslock calls of 'FORBIDDEN JUICE' and jack is honestly feeling it right now by the way he's eying the bottles. He calls himself Mr Spirits and he invites jack to peruse his wares in the kind of stereotypical pirate captain voice you'd expect him to have.

> Mr Spirits explains each and every item up for sale and the poor rabbit is left speechless. The machine behind the old curator rattles and he pauses before asking if jack would like to see something special

>jack of course says yes and the old bat moves aside, opening the door to the machine. Inside is a creature that is something like a very small star, something like a clump of souls, and something like a cat or a monkey. It is surrounded by several smaller versions of itself. They all stare at jack and Spirits

>Spirit's calls them Judgment's hearts. Their flame pulsates like a heartbeat, so you can see why they'd have that name. Spirits lifts one of the little hearts from the machine and hands it to jack, its feisty and wiggles, climbing all over him, crackling and whispering in Correspondence, the language of stars.

>the chat is maybe crying and saying how much they love this weird ball of fire even though Correspondence hurts to read. Jack asks how much Spirits wants for it and it asks Jack to buy a ship and fishing rod and he'll add the heart in as a sort of bundle but you can tell he just really wants to get rid of these things cuz there are a lot of them.

>jack agrees and spends the next few minutes picking a fishing rod (more like a harpoon really) and a ship design (the completed vessel to be delivered within a few days. Jack pays upfront and leaves with new friend in tow, when he gets back to the ranch the heart curls up in the ranch's machine and seems utterly content.

[melodypond-thewomanwhomarriedme]

2, 4, 5, 8, 16, 17, 25, 29, 39, 40

2. What is your latest fandom?

Doctor Who!

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

There was a time i dearly regretted being in the dw fandom. but i could never meeting the handful of people that i love and talk to every day

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

Harry Potter, NCIS, Doctor Who

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

First scene I ever watched of DW was in LKH, when River was goading those guards at Berlin. I fuckin fell in love with her that instant. I’d heard of doctor who before, but i was never into sci fi, so i avoided it. but i wanted to be in the loop, and i figured i’d give it a try. netflix only had series 5 till 9, so i watched those and immediately fell in love with the entire thing. i love it so much.

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

wh**ffaldi. horrible ship name, first of all. second of all, what the fuck??? also, i understand why people ship ten/rose cuz they were a thing. but any doctor after ten? nah my dudes, they’re river’s. 

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

i kid you fucking not, my first otp was mcgonagall/dumbledore. i had no idea dumbledore was supposedly gay at the time and i thought they’d make an amazing couple. i don’t ship them anymore so no, they’re not my favourite. 

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

my thirteen/river library fix-it. i’m super lazy to link it but it’s on ao3, it’s called the reality of everything, it has six chapters and fun shenanigans if you’re interested, 

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

i’ve had multiple beta readers over the course of my fic career. my current beta reader is cassie, and she’s amazing. beta readers are heaven sent because they notice small discrepancies and all those and they fix your grammar and sentence structure and all that. 

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

according to multiple readers, i’m really good at emotions. i think it’s because i’m able to picture myself in the character’s shoes and how they would feel/think/act in that situation. personally though, i think my greatest strength as a writer is finding excuses not to write. 

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

getting started. i’m procrastinating writing right now by answering this ask first lmaooooo. i’ll probably get to it eventually but that’s always the hardest part - starting. the rest isn’t smooth sailing but it sure is easier than getting off my ass and picking up my pen.

[incandescent-creativity]

AU Tuesday

The SOLE Project Pirate AU is here!

Well, the first part of it, at least. Cuz this is gonna be a long one. But before we get into Plot (and there will be a plot), I figure let’s just start this right with some good ol’ fashioned pirate captain shenanigans.

Words: 1,037

Tagging @perringcentral @eyes-of-golden-light @no-url-ideas-tho @knightedwriter @cog-writes @boothewriter @gettingitwrite @theguildedtypewriter @roselinproductions @halfbloodlycan @dreamwishing @hades-the-motivation-jedi @nicholewrites @writerofwriting for this! If you want to be added to the tag list just let me know!

There are only a few like them in the world. It’s a miracle they ever found each other when the world is so big.

But when a master of the sea and a master of the air do cross paths, the obvious choice is to team up and become partner masters of piracy.

It was perhaps inevitable that the pirate ship Hiraeth quickly took its place as legend. Or rather, her crew did. The ship itself is simply functional, not outstanding in the fields of speed or grace. Yet it remains unsinkable, uncatchable, and untraceable by the ruling powers of the day.

But despite its constant evasion, the Hiraeth itself is not the subject of the tales told on quiet nights. It is not the ship that the people tell stories of: it is her crew.

The most remarkable member of this crew goes by the single name of Beth. Of course, the titles given to her by the stories are many: the sea witch, Siren Supreme, the wrath of the waves, and the mother of tides, to name a few. But the only title she ever declared for herself was that of Captain.

“Captain!” The word is sweet on her ears, especially when it is accompanied by the familiar flapping of wings. She looks up from her charts to see Hans glides down from the crows nest and land down on one knee in front of her, feathered appendages spread out in all their glory. He turns his face up to her, brown eyes piercing into hers.

“Rise and report, my love,” she commands him, one corner of her mouth hooking up in an affectionate smile. “What have you found for us today?”

He stands smoothly, not bothering to hide his bare torso from her sight. “A trade ship, Captain. By my sight, it looks to be loaded with spices and other goods for trade, but also a hefty amount of gold for straight purchases.” Her lips spread into an outright smile as Beth rolls up the parchments in her hands. Her first mate does not miss the gesture. “Does this please my captain?” he asks, his voice teasing and merry.

“Aye, it pleases her,” she confirms with a laugh like dolphins. “Rally the crew! I’ve only a need to stow these papers before I join ye on this raid.” Finally folding his wings up to flatten against his back, Hans moves to do as his captain commands.

Nathaniel Andrews never thought the captain’s position would be his, but he likes to think he’s adjusting well.

When you get right down to it, the crew knows how to pilot this vessel and get her to the colonies, which leaves Nathaniel to relax in his quarters with the sweets his wife packaged for him before he left. It’s a good system, and they’ll be making port before they know it.

Or they would be, if he wasn’t staring at a blue flag through his spyglass.

“It can’t be,” he decides as he closes it. “The sea witch is a myth. She does not exist, it cannot be her!” The chance that it might be has made him angry with fear, and the mutters of his men behind him tell Andrews that they have noticed. His cowardice makes him angrier, and he spins on them. “Is one of you going to step up and tell me that you really believe in a devil-woman who can control the seas?”

Jameson steps up, his dark eyebrows furrowed at the ship on the horizon. “Hardly any other ship would fly a flag as blue as that one. It would be better to let the sails out, Cap’n, and speed ahead on our course. The ship don’t even have cannons, but we should be able to outrun ’er with our sails down.”

Nathaniel waves his hand in acquiescence. “Yes, yes, very well. Do that.”

But the problems only multiply when, a few minutes later, they are not moving. Instead of picking up speed as promised, they are losing it, until they are at a standstill in the middle of the ocean.

“What is happening?” Captain Andrews demands, stomping up to the man at the wheel of the ship. “Why aren’t we moving?”

“I don’t know!” the man protests. “I didn’t do anythin’, we’ve just… stopped.” His eyes catch on something, and he points up. “Look, Cap’n. Look at the sails.”

Nathaniel looks. “They seem fine to me.” There aren’t any holes in them, at least.

“Look at your robes,” the helmsman says next. “See how they’re flappin’ around? D’ya feel that wind? The sails are filled up on that wind, but we aren’t movin’.” He seems to be pondering the mystery of it all. “Why do you suppose that is?”

Nathaniel Andrews doesn’t get to answer. A feeling of dread washes over him as a wave washes over a shore. When asked later, he will call that feeling a premonition, because it arrives right before the sound of screams.

As soon as he sees Beth close her eyes and stretch her arms out, he gives the order to Finnigan.

Their regular helmsman, Derrick Finnigan, might be an older sea dog, but he brings the Hiraeth closer to the target ship with practiced ease. Hans leaves him to it while he pulls on his custom leatherwork and while the men scramble to boarding positions.

Meanwhile, the Captain stands at the bow. Strands of blonde hair escape her braid and flutter in the sea breeze as she holds her arms out, her breathing slow and controlled. She is vulnerable while slowing the water around the target ship, so her personal guard Connor Millard is at her side.

Once the leather armor is in place, Hans takes to the sky and glides above the crew’s heads to come to rest on the railing. One hand catches a rope with ease, and he loops it around his wrist once to lean himself out above the ocean. With his wings flared out for balance, he knows he makes an image of himself. 

“Arm yourselves, lads ‘n ladies,” he calls across the ship, and sees a few of them aim smiles his way. They’re vicious smiles, of yellow teeth, but the enthusiasm is there. “We’ve got a ship to take.”

[swanqueeneverafter]

27. The Heart of the Truest Believer, Pt.1

The Land Without Magic. Past. Phoenix, Arizona. (Emma is giving birth in a prison hospital room where the doctor and the nurses are attending to her. The clock strikes eight-fifteen.) Doctor: “Big breath. Breathe away, breathe away.” Nurse: “Okay, here we go.” Doctor: “You're doing great. Hang on, hang on.” Nurse: “You're almost there.” Doctor: “You're doing fine.” Nurse: “Keep breathing.” Doctor: “You're doing fantastic. That's it. Breath, breath, breath! Doing great. You're doing great. Here you go. Keep going. Yep. Breathe, breathe. Take a deep breath. Okay big push, big push. (Emma screams:) Push, push, push! (The lights begin to flicker and go out as Henry is born. Emma sighs in exhaustion and relief. The Doctor holds the baby:) Great. Here we go. That's good. That's beautiful. (To the baby:) How you doing? (To Emma:) It's a boy, Emma. (She looks away:) Emma? (Emma shakes her head. The nurse whispers in the doctor's ear:) Oh. Emma, just so you know, you can change your mind.” Emma: “No, I can't be a mother.” (She cries as the doctor takes the baby away.) Inside The Magic Bean's Portal. Present. (Emma, David, Mary Margaret, Mr. Gold and Regina hold tight to ropes on the Jolly Roger with Hook at the helm as the ship crosses through the portal. They finally land on the waters of Neverland. The group looks around in confusion.) Emma: “Is that it?!” Hook: “Aye, Neverland.” (Emma gazes at the island with determination.)

Neverland's Island. Present. (Henry lands on the shore after falling through the portal. He attempts to get up and run.) Tamara: “No, uh-uh. (She grabs Henry by his coat:) Slow down, Henry. You’ve got nowhere to go. (Sighs, looking around:) We made it. Mission accomplished.” Henry: “Are you sure about that? 'Cuz my mom is coming to get me. Both of them.” Tamara: “You might wanna take a look around. Do you see any clock towers? You're a long way from Storybrooke.” Henry: “It doesn't matter! My family's been to the Enchanted Forest before, and they can get here again.” Tamara: (Hears a weird howling noise and looks around:) “Well, we're not in the Enchanted Forest. This is Neverland.” Henry: (In disbelief:) “Neverland? You're here to destroy Neverland?” Tamara: “It's the mother lode of magic. I need to signal the Home Office.” Henry: “An office in the jungle? Huh. Who works there?” Tamara: “Who I work for is not your concern, just know that they take care of me.” Henry: “Do they? Can they tell you how to get back home after you destroy magic?” Tamara: (Ignoring him, trying to operate the communicator:) “I'm not getting a status light on this thing. (She opens the battery compartment. Sand falls out:) What the hell is this? A toy?” Henry: “It's a good thing you don't ask any questions.” Tamara: "Let's go. Walk!” Neverland. Present. On The Jolly Roger. (Hook, manning the helm, slows the ship as Regina notices.) Regina: “Why are you slowing down? In case you didn't know, my son's life is in danger.” Hook: “Oh, I know, my hot-headed Queen. The plan is to bring us to the far side of the island, link up with the widest part of the river, and... then we sail right through, take him by surprise. The irony...” Regina: “What irony?” Hook: “Oh, I spent more time than I care to remember trying to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin. And here I am, sailing right back into its heart with him as my guest of honor. It's not quite the happy ending I was hoping for.” Regina: (Scoffs:) “Happy endings. We’re villains, Hook, don’t you know happy endings don’t apply to us? Well, according to Henry’s book, anyway.  Do you believe that?” Hook: “I hope not, or we've wasted our lives.” (Regina nods and turns her attention elsewhere. As Hook watches her, he follows her gaze to look over at Emma, standing along the ships railing, gazing out at the sea. Mary Margaret and David approach her.)

Mary Margaret: “Hey. What happened to Neal and Henry - it's not your fault. You can't blame yourself.” Emma: “I don't. I blame you. All this happened because you wouldn’t listen to me. You thought I was pining over Neal when I told you Tamara wasn’t to be trusted. You say good always wins. It doesn't. I didn't grow up in some fairy tale land. My experience is different. That's all I can go on.” Mary Margaret: “And all we have to go on is ours, so if you would just let us share our wisdom--” Emma: “I appreciate you trying to be parents, but we're the same age. We have equal amounts of wisdom. And all I want is Henry back. I should never have broken the curse. I should've just... burned that damned book and then Henry and maybe Regina and I-” Mary Margaret: “You're right. Th-Then you'd be together. We missed you growing up Emma, and it haunts us every day.” David: “And that's why we're here now. We don't want you to have to go through the same thing, too, and you won't. We are gonna get our family back.” Emma: “How can you two be so infuriatingly optimistic?!” David: “It's who we are.” Emma: “Why? Ever since you got your memories back, ever since you remembered that you're Snow White and Prince Charming, your lives have... they've... well, they've sucked!” David: “No. No, we found you.” Emma: “And lost Henry and Neal, and countless other people!” Mary Margaret: “Emma, the minute I let go of the belief that things will get better is the minute that I know they won't. We'll find Henry.” Mr. Gold: “No, you won't.” (Everyone turns to see Mr. Gold standing at the helm garbed in his old Rumplestiltskin outfit.) Hook: (Sarcastically:) “Oh, that's a great use of our time—a wardrobe change.” Mr. Gold: “I'm gonna get Henry.” Regina: “We agreed to do this together.” Mr. Gold: “Actually, we made no such agreement.” Emma: “Why are you doing this?” Mr. Gold: “Because I wanna succeed.” Emma: “What makes you think I'm gonna fail?” Mr. Gold: “Well, how could you not? You don't believe in your parents, or in magic, or even yourself.” Emma: “I slayed a dragon. I think I believe.” Mr. Gold: “Only what was shown to you. When have you ever taken a real leap of faith? You know, the kind where there's absolutely no proof? I've known you some time, Miss Swan. And, sadly, despite everything you've been through, you're still just that... bail bonds-person, looking for evidence. Well, dearie, that's not gonna work in Neverland.” Emma: “I'll do whatever it takes.” Mr. Gold: “Well, you just need someone to tell you what that is. Sorry, dearie, our foe is too fearsome for hand-holding. Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild. And, sadly, yours doesn't.” (He spins his cane, which falls to the deck. In the next second, Mr. Gold is gone from the ship and only his cane remains.)

Neverland's Island. Present. (In a clearing in the jungle, Tamara starts a fire.) Henry: “We making s'mores?” Tamara: “No. I’m making a signal. I need to let the home office know that we're here. (There are rustling leaves in the background. Tamara turns her head. A group of teenagers come from the trees and surround Tamara and Henry. To the teenagers:) Who are you?” Felix: “We're the Home Office. Welcome to Neverland.” Tamara: “The Home Office is a bunch of teenagers?” Henry: “They're not teenagers. They're the Lost Boys.” Felix: (Impressed:) “Look at that.” Henry: “Why do the Lost Boys want to destroy magic?” Felix: “Who said we wanna destroy magic?” Tamara: “That was our mission.” Felix: “So you were told, yes. Now the boy. Hand him over.” Tamara: “Not unless you tell me the plan—for magic, for getting home.” Felix: “You're not getting home.” Tamara: “Then you're not getting the boy.” Felix: (Chuckles:) “Of course we are.” Tamara: “Run!” (Tamara and Henry start running.) Felix: “Get the boy.” (The Lost Boys chase after Tamara and Henry. A Lost Boy fires an arrow and it hits Tamara in the back. She gasps for air and collapses. Henry keeps running and the Lost Boys continue to chase him. After Henry runs past two trees, he trips and falls. A mysterious boy pick him up and pulls him out of the way.) Boy: “Come on.” (The Lost Boys run past Henry and his companion. They continue to pant and the boy pulls down the hood on his robe.) Henry: “Thanks.” Boy: “Pan and his forces are in tune with every grain of sand on the island. We must be careful.” Henry: “Are—are you a Lost Boy?” Boy: “I was. (The boy removes the zip tie on Henry's hands:) But I escaped. And now they're after me, too.” Henry: “How? What happened?” Boy: “No time for questions. We must keep moving. Come on.” (The boy pulls Henry back to his feet. They run off into the distance.)

Neverland. Present. On The Jolly Roger. (Emma is doing pull-ups on a bar above. She continues to do pull-ups and after a while, she stands back down. Hook enters the room.) Hook: “Oh. Don't stop on my account.” Emma: “Wouldn't think of it.” (She continues to do pull-ups as Hook walks closer to her.) Hook: “What are you doing?” Emma: “Getting ready for a fight.” (Emma stands back down on to the platform.) Hook: “Well, I've never known you to need to get ready for a fight. I thought it was a natural state. Don't let Rumplestiltskin get you down, love.” Emma: (Emma jumps down on to the floor:) “What do you want?” Hook: “To give you something.” (Hook gets a key out and walks over to a locked chest. He unlocks it.) Hook: “You know, Baelfire and I once spent a lot of time together.” Emma: “He was always Neal to me.” Hook: “Yeah. Right. (Hook grabs a sword from the table and brings it to Emma:) This was his.” Emma: (Emma grabs the sword:) “I didn't realize you were sentimental.” Hook: “I'm not. I just thought you could use it where we're going. You know, to fight.” (Hook gives Emma a shot glass. He uncorks the flask and pours rum in her glass.) Emma: “Thanks.” Hook: “To Neal.” Emma: “To Neal.” (Emma and Hook clink their glasses and drink the rum.)

Enchanted Forest. Present. Aurora's Palace. (Neal is lying on the bed and wakes up, realizing he is alive.) Mulan: “Who are you?” Neal: “Neal.” Aurora: (Aurora and Phillip approach Mulan and Neal:) “Is he well?” Mulan: “Well enough to be questioned.” Aurora: (Aurora pours a glass of water for Neal:) “Here. Drink. Drink. You must be thirsty.” (Aurora gives Neal a sip of water.) Neal: “Where am I?” Aurora: “You're in our kingdom.” Neal: “Where's your—where's your kingdom?” Phillip: “The Enchanted Forest.” Neal: (Sighs:) “I'm back.” Aurora: “Back? You mean you're from here?” Mulan: “He's lying. Look at his clothes. He's from the same world Emma and Snow are from.” Neal: “Emma? Emma Swan? You know her?” Mulan: “How do you know her?” Neal: “She's... She's my... I-I don't know. But she's in danger I have to get back to her. I have to help her.” (Neal tries to get up and Aurora helps him sit up.) Phillip: “You need to rest. You were gravely injured when we found you. Were you hit by some kind of arrow?” Neal: (Checks his wound:) “.45 Caliber Arrow. Look, I-I need your help. I need to know that Emma and Henry are alright.” Aurora: “You're... You're Henry's father? (Neal nods:) I was once under a sleeping curse. Snow taught me how to control the nightmare. And with practice, I'm able to walk the dream world, find others who have passed though. It's possible I can make contact with them. (Neal stands up on the ground:) If I can, what would you like me to tell them?” Neal: “Tell Emma I'm alive, and I love her.”

[simptasia]

for the fandom thing: either lost or x-men (new movies)?? :)

i’ll do both! thank you!

LOST

the character i least understand: nah i understand them all weirdly well. altho i find that ben is so chaotic (he’s the wildcard) that he makes some decisions that leave me (and most people) like ????. i don’t consider it bad writing either, it’s obvious that ben is severely unstable. oh and also i had a little trouble understanding jack’s motivations& decision making processes, etc, until i realised that fucker ain’t neurotypical

interactions i enjoyed the most: oh wow there’s like forty bagillion characters in this show, i could never pick… hurley with anyone, miles with anyone, dan + char (they were their best around each other), kate and claire, dan + des, charlie + des, jack + kate for the most part, sayid with anyone, ben and locke

just to name a few

the character who scares me the most: no Fear but i’ll list some characters who gave me Distressed Feelings with their behaviour: ben, roger linus, anthony cooper, keamy, jack got scary during that dynamite scene. oh and jacob, his mother and his brother all have this odd coldness in their eyes. it’s wrong

the character who is mostly like me: hurley and jack, equally (i consider hurley to be my good aspects, jack to be my less-good aspects)

hottest looks characters: charlie and desmond in very different ways. i feel it wrong to not mention any ladies so charlotte & ana lucia too

….i’m not the best at choosing between people for things

one thing i dislike about my fave character:

ben: besides being the most immoral main character? with the murders? his possessiveness. espech with juliet but it affected his relationships with alex and locke too

charlie: his jealousy. it was the worst!!

daniel: he has One Flaw and it’s a really bad one: his recklessness. boy has little to no regard for his own safety and it’s fucked up

hurley: N/A. there’s nothing wrong with his personality/morals (hurley’s issues are more because of mentall illness and circumstances)

miles: be nice to your friends you little shit, they’re gonna die :(((

one thing i like about my hated character: 

keamy: uhm, he makes ben look better by comparison? (no joke, this is why they created keamy) also i like the idea of somebody so shitty to be on that boat with my science team because the dude is a conflict opportunity. ya know, for miles to be snarky. for char to be protective/defensive. for naomi to put him in his place. for frank to be on his sci-kids sides. to make dan more of a woobie. thats what keamy is for

jacob: he’s very important to the mythology of the show

eloise: her side of the story is sympathetic and tragic too. as a writer and audience member, i respect that. i also find that she is the most interesting of the LOST Abusive Parents Squad

christian: …[petulantly] okay… he loved his son… (just really shittily)

roger: same as above >:/

a quote or scene that haunts me

jack and richard dynamite scene (it’s a Bad Feel Scoob)

charlie and the baby and the ocean. just. everything about that scene

you all… oh lord… you all every… butties

ben talking to the empty chair (i was so distressed the first time i saw it)

ethan and drugged up claire giggling together. ethan you sick fuck

“kinda hard to celebrate on the day you killed your mom” YOU ASSHOLE YOU ASSHOLE YO UFUCKING CUNT AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! im fine :)))

these are all very cursed scenes

a death that left me indifferent: no no no no no. oh wait ilana (i’ve had little to no feelings about ilana, but i did warm up to her a bit during my last rewatch)

a character i wish died but didn’t: eloise. 

but i reckon her living with what she’s done is her punishment, so it’s all good (the post-finale peeps are NOT gonna give her a warm welcome during the grand opening of the Faraday Institute of Science)

my ship that never sailed: kate/claire, charlie/desmond, dan/char/miles. oh like, miles with anyone cuz that dude didn’t get a love interest at all

The X-Men movieverse

the character i least understand: i can’t think of a main character so, uh, any rando who gets grossed or freaked out when they see hank, mystique or kurt

interactions i enjoyed the most: kurt & ororo, charles & hank, charles & erik, charles & logan, logan & rogue, bobby & rogue, erik & mystique

also a lot of interactions mystique has with charles or hank are like, painful or damaging. however they’re enjoyable for the character depth/flaws. plus… i love when charles and mystique get to be brother and sisterly!! awwh

the character who scares me the most: scary no. but apocalypse was pretty intense. like, super intense. (also that whole rape metaphor thing with charles)

oh wait omg i forgot stryker!! that dude is genuinely unnerving

the character who is mostly like me: CHARLES XAVIER, particular the mcavoy version (i’m young and emotional) so much. like, painfully so

in short: hopeful/idealistic, supportive, emotionally/mentally unstable, empathetic/compassionate to the point of severe pain, cries a lot, has an eye for babes and smarts. and if i could adopt all the outcasts in the world, i would

also sometimes it is so tempting to shut it all out with drugs

so basically dofp on a bad day, first class/apoc on a good day

hottest looks character: kurt wagner is breathtakingly gorgeous

one thing i dislike about my fave character: that’d be kurt

uhm, his lack of screentime so far? (dark phoenix is gonna give us more, so yay)

hey, so confession time: ya know those times when i’ve said “hey i know kurt isn’t perfect but [proceeds to gush about kurt]”? yeah, i have no idea what i’m referring to when i’ve said kurt isn’t perfect. it depends on the kurt, i guess

but movieverse kurt is legit perfect (as far as we know)

i mean, he cuts himself but i don’t consider that a character flaw

one thing i like about my hated character: only characters i hate are the villains. so uh, entertainment value

a quote or scene that haunts me:

when senator kelley turns to water (those effects are too fucking good for the year 2000, what the fuck)

the coin going thru charles head and he SCREAMS SO LONG

charles fucking everybody up in X2 is a helluva thing

the premise behind the movie logan deeply upsets me (but specifically charles remembering what he did. this movie destroyed the movieverse)

“you look beautiful now” shut your twinkie hole fucko!!!

the iconic opening of X1/first class… he just wanted his mama :(((

a death that left me indifferent: nah. nah!!! i care too much

a character i wish died but didn’t: nnn… no

my ship that never sailed: charles/hank and kurt/ororo. but again, i’ll see what they do with dark phoenix. but there’s apparently no happily ever after hahaha!!! (logan 2017 was a great movie but oh my gosh fuck logan 2017)

[junioradventure]

[FANACCT] 170611 KNK “해달별" Fansign Experience at 제일라아트홀 (Fanboy)

Hi again! 

I’m here with my fanaccount for KNK’s fansign during their “해달별" promotions.

This was a notably important fansign for me because I’m pretty sure this is my last fansign event before I leave Korea on the 22nd...

I’m so sad. ㅠㅠ

Anyway, it was a really awesome event and I’m glad I got to see my favorite group up close and personal again.

I did a video about their fansign before during “U” era too.

Without further ado, let’s get started!

KNK’s fansigns are getting more competitive nowadays, with fans buying more than 10 albums to have a chance to get in. I originally bought 9 albums, but after seeing a fan next to me at the CD store buy 10, I bought 3 more, totaling up to 12 albums overall. And I got in!

On the day of the fansign, I found the building where it was held and headed to the B2 floor. Some fans were waiting to get in, but the staircase and entrance was rather narrow. I showed my Alien Registration Card to verify my identification (though a passport works just as well) and the staff told me to pick a card that was on the table. The assorted cards were all face-down, and this was to determine my seat number. I got number 63. 

I took my seat, but the rows of chairs were all close together and narrow too, not allowing much room. This was a noticeable inconvenience when fans had to squeeze past each other in the rows. I spent a huge amount of time before coming to prepare a fanletter for my bias Seungjun, so I had to write down all the post-its for the members that I would put in my album.

Soon the members appeared and the fansign went underway. They looked so handsome as always, but they look especially good with the suits in this era aghhhh. 

Sorry that my picture’s quality isn’t too good, but this is how the fansign was conducted. The order was: Jihun→Inseong→Seungjun→Youjin→Heejun

MEMBER INTERACTIONS (with pictures and gifs!)

I’ll fast-forward to the interactions I had with each member. I’m sorry that I forgot some things that happened, but in the thick of the moment, it’s hard to process and take in everything that happened (for me). Luckily, I met someone at the fansign that was kind enough to take a video of me when I went through this great experience. I was really nervous again, because they’re my favorite group and this was my last time, so I was even more anxious. 

JIHUN

So leader Jihun was first this time around~ Actually he was rather quiet today as well; when I met him at a fansign last year, he was rather soft-spoken too. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I pointed to the questions I had brought for him on the post-its and told him I was a part of an international KNK fan group on Facebook, and I gathered some questions other Tinkerbells wanted to know about KNK. He was listening and then all of a sudden, said, “Ah. International,” in English. THAT WAS FREAKING CUTE AHH. He was really handsome up-close, though. He looked mature and cool when he was in thinking mode, but then he lapsed into squishy mode when he smiled and it was just adorable.

He really thought deeply about the questions I wrote. I guess he had to think a lot about how to answer them. But another factor was that time was really limited and the staff members were quite strict so they moved our albums to the next member by force, cutting our time short. 

Blue post-it note: Q: Which member is really the closest to Jihun-hyung...? A: I’m close with all but umm... Heejun?! Jihun had some trouble answering this question but dang, I didn’t expect him to think so seriously about it. ㅠㅠ I’m sorry if I had to make you pick a favorite! I know you all love each other LOL. 

Yellow post-it note: Q: Where do you draw the inspiration when you make the choreography (for KNK)? A: There’s just times when suddenly... Ttak!  I forgot what other little things we said after he answered those, but I had to move on. I gave him high-fives as a farewell and moved over to... Inseong!

INSEONG

Next was my second bias, Inseong. I greeted him by saying, “Inseonggie hyung~” hahaha because he’s just a fun, cool guy. He grinned and asked, “Hyung?” I SWEAR THIS WAS SO REMINISCENT WHEN I FIRST MET HIM in person when he asked me, “Am I hyung?” LOL. But he is just killing the visual game nowadays. He looked especially handsome today. He asked me where I’m from and I told him America, more specifically Hawaii. 

Bottom post-it note: Q: Is there a place you really want to visit (vacation-wise)? A: Hawaii That’s probably why he cleverly wrote his answer as “Hawaii” for my question, but I’m not complaining! Inseong is really easy to talk to.  I told him that his hairstyle for this concept suits him very well and that he looks really handsome. He was really happy to hear a compliment and ahhh he was just an excited hamster. I assured him that he was already handsome but now, even more. I basically complimented him a lot because he deserves more love and attention!! Top post-it note: Q: The most difficult point of this promotion...? A: Live...!? He explained that singing live was one of the toughest parts of promotions. I asked why, and he said it’s because he has to sing rather high. I understand him because him singing the chorus in “해달별" while dancing pretty vigorously looked really tiring... But he pulled it off! I told him he was really good and that he’s doing well. I feel like he was insecure a little about his performance as a vocalist and how well he does and I wanted to reassure him. It was time to move on so I told him bye~ Inseong really does have a warm heart and he’s such a nice person please give him lots of affection and reassurance

SEUNGJUN *BIAS ALERT*

*sigh* I really can’t express how great and caring Seungjun is. I can tell he truly loves and adores his fans, and it shows from the way he treats them. He said my name like, “Junior?” in a cute tone and I said cutely too, “Seungjunnie-hyung~” AHAHAHAHA. He immediately looked at my questions and more antics ensued.

Blue post-it note: Q: POKEMON or DIGIMON, you can only choose one A: *marks Pokemon* but went the extra mile to show his UNCONDITIONAL PREFERENCE FOR DIGIMON LIKE WHAT THE NOOOOOOO Yellow post-it note: Q: Is there a member you want to live with for the rest of your life? A: Inseong Jihun At first, he took a look at the blue note and I reiterated, “You can only choose one!” Without hesitation, he answered, “Digimon!” I was like WHAT THE HECK, NO YOU CAN’T CHOOSE DIGIMON OVER POKEMON OMGG. He was so firm, he was like, “Digimon~” in a cute tone and I told him, “Why??” He seemed a bit sympathetic and marked Pokemon, but said, “Digimon~” again and decorated a box around the word Digimon. DANG IT SEUNGJUN. I was like OTL because I came dressed in a Squirtle hoodie because I thought he loved Pokemon more but that happened. I mockingly complained, “I came dressed like this too...” Seungjun chuckled and then proceeded to gently grab my arm and draw a little heart on the Squirtle patch design on my hoodie!!!

SJ: *in a Korean accent* Hearteu~ I internally died at this cute action like I AM NEVER WASHING THIS HOODIE AGAIN LOL I also made sure to give him the letter I worked on. He then looked at my second post-it, which he thought about for a moment. At first, Seungjun wrote Inseong, so I asked him why. He said because Inseong is funny. BUT THEN LAST MINUTE Seungjun scratches out Inseong’s name and writes Jihun AND HE DIDN’T EVEN GIVE A REASON WHY LOL. So that made think like HMMMMM this ship really sails itself huh... Now I had to tell him that this was pretty much my last chance to see them... Me: Actually, on the 22nd, I’m leaving Korea, so this is my last chance to see you guys. I’m really glad I got to see you guys often while I was here. SJ: *in a cute pleading voice* Don’t go~ (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) Me: I don’t wanna leave either!

And then this happened.

OMG I was so flustered when he asked when I’ll be back with that cheeky smile that I accidentally lapsed into English hahahaha. He probably didn’t understand what I said, but I had to move on ㅠㅠ!! Wait for me Seungjun, I’ll be back!! I really want to cry now... Hahahaha. And it ended cutely because I kept shaking his hand, and then...

Thank goodness. He is the best and he’s always so sweet!!

YOUJIN

Okay I’m going to start off my account of Youjin because right when I got to him, he asked me, “Are you a fan of Seungjun?” BWAHAHAHA he called me out!! I told him that I liked all the members but yeah, Seungjun was my fave... If he noticed that, then wow... 

And then it was like another round of deja vu because I told him I was from Hawaii and that he should come, and he replied, “I want to go too!” LIKE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE SAID LAST YEAR AT THE FIRST FANSIGN LOL.

He looked over my questions and I told him they were from other international fans. He got super excited over the Overwatch question and his inner fanboy came out. 

Yellow post-it note: Q: Which heroes (do you use) when you play Overwatch? A: Roadhog, Reinhardt, and... the last part was a bit illegible but I think he wrote the name of a Korean Overwatch player named 후아유. [If anyone wants to help me out with deciphering that, it’d be much appreciated~] He was so happy when talking about his mains for OW, but I had to tell him that I actually didn’t know the game at all loooool. I wish I could’ve nerded out with him but idk ㅋㅋㅋ He even asked me, “Isn’t Overwatch quite popular in America?” lmaooo which is true but yeah, I’m clueless.

Blue post-it note: Q: What are you most afraid of?? A: Bugs! 1인칭 horror game.

So Youjin seems to be the least fearful in the group so I also wanted to know what scares him. He wrote “bugs” and I couldn’t believe like this guy didn’t flinch for the ghost prank or a VR zombie slashing him but he’s afraid of insects??

I’m not judging tho but dang.AND OKAY I SEARCHED UP THE HORROR GAME HE TALKED ABOUT AND THAT SHIZ IS NO JOKE.

OH HELLLLLL NOOOOO YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT OF THIS GAME CUZ SHIZ I WOULD PISS MYSELF DURING THIS VR EXPERIENCE

But Youjin is a cool chill guy who loves gaming so hit him up yo

HEEJUN

Heejun, Heejun, Heejun. You never know how he’ll be like. I heard from a friend that he’s different every time which is kinda true. The first time I met him, he was comical but on the quiet side, and we were kinda awkward... BUT THIS TIME WAS JUST OMG LOL. He spoke some English to me even though I was talking to him in Korean which was cute. He said things like, “Where are you from?” and “Really?” Soooo silly. I complimented him on his English pronunciation and I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS UNTIL MY FRIEND SHOWED ME THE FOOTAGE SHE TOOK AND-

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Heejun’s also quite chill but he’s so funny agh.

Yellow post-it note:  Q: Is there a concept you want to try? A: BTS’ Blood, Sweat, Tears  hOLY SHIZ IS IT WEIRD THAT I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE HEEJUN IN THAT KIND OF CONCEPT? he already bares his chest sometimes like omfg and I can totally see him pulling it off like shiz I AM READY Blue post-it note: Q: Heejun-ah~ Please write down your favorite color!! A: Black, gray Heejun forgot because he even asked himself out loud, “Which colors do I like?” I told him, “Why don’t you know??” HAHAHA.  I told him I was l was leaving soon and he just replied, “When will you be back?” LOL. IDK, I wish I knew, then I wouldn’t have to leave y’all ㅠㅠ I told him bye and he was like, “bye bye!!!”  Later on, the members picked random seat numbers from a box and the chosen fans could take a selca with them. SO LUCKYY. I WASN’T CHOSEN BUT UGH IT’S OKKK.  Then they played 공기, which is a Korean bean game similar to Jacks. Jihun got really competitive and he almost kicked the stage LMAOOOO. Seungjun was really bad at it and he ended up last. Youjin was first, followed by Inseong, Heejun and finally Jihun secured a place by a hair. Seungjun’s punishment was dancing to their title track with aegyo LOOOOOL he tried his best but he looked so awkward omg And that was it. My last fansign with them. I love them so much, because they’re all so wholesome and show their personalities unabashedly. All of them are SO DIFFERENT and the dynamics are just so interesting and charming.  SORRY I cut it a little at the end but I have to go to class ㅠㅠ I’ll tweak this a bit later maybe but I hope y’all enjoyed this!!!!

[csjmadhouse]

SALVATION|DAMNATION, the debut album from “metal-pop” singer/songwriter Cody St. John, will be available September 8th, 2017. Pre-Order now to instantly receive three tracks and unlock snippets to the rest of the album before they can be heard anywhere else!

INTRODUCE

Allow me to introduce myself  No, not him Not the boy with his eyes on the ground Afraid to make a sound  Allow me to introduce myself No, not you Not the guy that keeps it bottled up  Until he has an overflowing cup  Allow me to introduce myself  No, that’s not right Not the man who still cries  Over little white lies 

GOOD AT BEING BAD

You think good boys gone bad are sexy I’m a bad boy cuz I had to be To make it out alive Won’t be your fetish Turn the key Just drive Let me tell ya a little somethin Bout a kid who was given the world All he had to do Was stay on his knees And not question a word

Well I was bad at it Bad Bad Was no good at it Gave up all I had Got up from my knees Stand firm on my feet What can I say I’m good at being bad

EYE CANDY

Eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eye candy Lemme feast upon this Ohhhh she looks so sweet But I ain’t allowed to taste it, no Eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eye candy Why don’t you feast upon this Ohhhhh I taste so sweet But I need a man to take it Don’t mean I won’t be your Eye candy

OUTLAW

Layin here shackled to the bed Eyes shut blockin’ out the harsh light Broken bottles from another wild night Looks like me and Mr. Right Picked ourselves another fight Sorry, Sheriff, please release me Didn’t mean to do the dirty things I’ve done Sorry, Sheriff, please release me Then you can join me on the run

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

Found me hiding out Like a sex crazed bandit With my pants ‘round my ankles Caught me red handed Put those red limbs in some chains Made me watch as you took a needle And pumped mud in your veins Your eyes are gone, Sheriff Is anybody home? Your eyes are gone, Sheriff Now you’ve left me alone

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

Can someone post my bail Right now I’m s'posed be setting sail Tug at these chains to no avail Looks like I’m stuck Why’d I take the bate Why’d I come home late Now he’s so irate And he wants to fuck Ahhhhhhhhhh! Breathing in his exhaled smoke Hand on my throat making me choke Exposing my body to new pains Cotton mouth hoping that it rains

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

PRINCE HARMING

Don’t you Don’t you put your hopes on him Don’t tell him your horrors and your fears He’ll crush you with it Kill you with it Use it to break your heart He looks oh so charming Too bad he’s really Prince Harming

Second he told you To call him daddy You should’ve ran Now it’s too late Deep into third trimester I don’t think you can Turn back the clock Erase his betrayal He was a devil in disguise And you fell for his portrayal Of an angel from the skies

DEEP BLUE SECRET

Takin’ on water now Down we go We’re sinking at the bow This ship’s met its demise Cast off as the SS Bullshit That ice on her finger Gave the hull a nice slit We’re takin’ on water now Down we go Punished for the outcome Of the captain’s show

COLD BED

There I was thinking  We were on the right track  But I guess with you  I can never know for sure  You’ve flipped the script  Yet you’re still in the same role  Turned the tables  But still eat the same meal  Guess we’re not so different after all  Looks like we’ve hit a wall  Can’t waste anymore time  Acting like we just need to heal  Maybe there was hope once long ago But months have passed  This bed is still cold And we still haven’t closed the deal 

LITTLE DRUMMER’S PLOY

Warned you about my ways  Guess you should’ve listened  Before I torched the fucking car That we first kissed in You’re tangled in a maniac’s web Now that you’re stuck  Where you gonna go You’ll never find a better fuck  The way I played you  The way I used your heart  I can see you wanna break away Too bad ya don’t know where to start

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum 

Told you I was a sorcerer  Really more like a warlock  If that scares you Maybe you shouldn’t have sat on my cock  Listen now, mortal man It’s really not so bad  Can’t blame yourself For the power we sirens had  Reeling you in  Like a mindless seaman  Listen to the drums  They’ll have you screamin’

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum  Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum

Waves are crashing down  Can you hear that sound Waves are crashing down  Surprised you’re still around Days are growing dark Somehow you’re still here  Days are growing dark Do you really feel no fear Sabotaged to save myself  Yet you’re still in my bed Sabotaged to save myself  Are you dumb or are you dead

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum  Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum

DIG DEEPER

You-ou-ou Taught me the game Made me a player Stained my name You-ou-ou Broke my heart Made me a cryer Dodged the blame You-ou-ou Can’t run from me I am the slayer I’ve come unchained

Better dig deeper If you wanna find my heart Better dig deeper If you don’t know where to start Better dig deeper To find what makes me tick Better dig deeper That grave ain’t deep enough For you and your sins So you’d better dig deeper!

ENCHANTRESS

Was I under a spell Before I moved to hell Mom I might like boys But I’ll never tell Been staring for so long Don’t know how you missed This boy I kissed I can see I pissed Off the Enchantress

FAGGOT

Si coierit cum vir virum Sicut fit unum cum femina Et quod ex illis fit ut quia abominatio Welcome to the homo hanging show!

Tied me up Then held me down While my soul teared Spewed words like venom Held your hands high while I screamed Passed it all off as a prayer I had no demons To exorcise I was your challenge I’ll see to it that You never get your prize

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

Shined brighter than your lord When you set me ablaze You get so much joy From abusing the gays You hear the crackle Of these flames They’re gonna haunt you Make you remember our names Can’t extinguish a fire you started Time to join the dearly departed

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

What sweet bitter irony is this After threats of hell for so long You’re gonna be the one to burn Satan’s gonna make you his bitch Burn witch, burn bitch No sweeter revenge Than fucking one of God’s own Take it like a man Don’t you dare cry now Or all the little hellions Will call your soul a faggot While your body’s devoured By Earth’s hungry maggots

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

Nolite iudicare et non iudicabimini Nolite condemnare et non condemnabimini Dimittite et dimittemini Don’t you ever cast a stone at me!

WAR CRY OF A MADMAN

Ain’t gonna reward no bad behavior  Knocked on the wrong door If you came searching for a savior  Warned you I’d only drag you down Why’d you try to fly with me Now that we’ve both crashed and burned  Think it’s funny how these tables turned 

I’m a mad man  A fucking lunatic Baby I’m sick  I’m a mad man  A fucking lunatic Baby I’m sick 

FLY HIGH

Heart hijacked by the rhythm of the drum Bodies all over soaked in whiskey and rum Outsiders thinkin’ we're all dumb  They need some green, aye, come and get some Guitar strumming Planes are humming  We’re all on something  Heeeey! Thanks for coming!

Got a million hands raised to the sky  Come on, angel, teach me to fly  Smoke touches the clouds as we all get high Come on, angel, teach me to fly  Fly! Fly! Fly! Flyyyyy! High. High. High.