#please just support artists for the love of christ

[sp3akfromtheart]

why do i keep seeing fanart from TUMBLR ARTISTS being reposted ON TUMBLR. hey guys, don't know if you know this, JUST PRESS THE REBLOG BUTTON. YOU KNOW. THE BUTTON THAT MAKES THIS WEBSITE UNIQUE. PRESS IT. JUST REBLOG THE ART.

[hiking-the-alpines]

didn't you say you are going to leave this place because of, and I quote "too many alphabet people"? please hurry up and get out of here, we don't need hateful people spreading bigoted views in here. while you are at it, quit playing Sky too, since its core message is literally "love everyone". and considering how many queer people play Sky, some of your constellation friends are also part of the "alphabet". Oh, let's not forget that all spirits and elders are canonically nonbinary and use they\them. And that is not to mention that people who created this game are openly LGBT too, like Ash and Aimi, the concept artists without whom the game wouldn't exist. Spitting into the well you drink from, huh? honestly, how can you call yourself Christian when all Jesus taught was to love your neighbor and be kind, while you spew hate and bigotry. I hope you grow and become a better person. When you stand in front of God, he will ask you about what YOU did in your life. Being hateful is undoubtedly not an answer he will want to hear.

Heyo!

I’ll admit I was blunt and harsh with my post there, and each day I do try to grow and be a better person. Yeah, at the moment I wrote that I was probably angry and frustrated and I’ll admit that perhaps airing out my frustrations that way wasn’t the best choice.

You are right in the fact that Jesus taught us all to love one another, be kind, love others as you would love yourself. Christ sat and dined with sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors, etc yet he didn’t partake in their sin nor did he support/encourage them in their sin. Christ forgave, and had compassion for all sinners, but when he forgave these people and healed them, he would say, “Now go and sin no more.”

Every. Single. Time. (To my recollection, correct me if I’m wrong)

The reason why I choose not to support the LGBT movement is because those values (homosexuality, lust, trans) go against God. God created man to be with woman and only within a God ordained marriage, can they then have sex. Anything outside of that is considered a sin. Plus, regarding the trans movement, it also goes against God’s creation because we are created in his image and God doesn’t make mistakes when creating someone.

When I stand before God, yeah, he’s gonna ask me what I did in my life. But in turn he’s also gonna ask you what you did in your life.

That post might’ve portrayed me out to be “I hate LGBT”, but I’m honestly just annoyed because all this pride stuff is being shoved in my face everywhere I look. I just disagree with the LGBT movement and do not support it. I have many friends both in-game and in real life who are “alphabet’ people, but it doesn’t affect our friendship (on my end at least). I TRY not to judge, because Jesus also called us not to judge. But just like you are allowed to disagree with the way I live (am Christian), I am also allowed to disagree with the way you live. That is not hateful. It’s just disagreement in lifestyles.

If you think disagreement is hateful and bigotry, maybe re-think your definition of disagreement. Even so, learning to agree to disagree is a very valuable skill in life. There are 8 billion ? people on this planet and I guarantee that most if not all of them think differently than you do and will disagree with you (not just on LGBT but other things too). And learning to cope with that and learning to cope with the concept of being “offended” is also a really valuable skill in life; you’re gonna be offended in this life.

Plus, the concept of pride is a sin. It doesn’t even have to be surrounding the LGBT movement, pride of anything is considered a sin by God’s standards.

And then about the non binary spirits thing; yeah that might be canon in Sky, but I still see them as women and men. And I am allowed to do that because I am allowed to have an opinion. Just like you are allowed to have an opinion. You can tell me a thousand times that in Sky canon, the spirits are non-binary and go by they/them pronouns, but I’m still gonna see them as men and women and he/her pronouns, respectively. Plus, these are just video game characters so the concept of “misgendering” them is impossible. At the end of the day, it’s just pixels on your screen.

Feel free to shoot me another “ask” if you want to respond anonymously.

[thisphantomlife]

Ok I might need some help here from someone smarter than me.

I can’t stop thinking about To Someone From a Warm Climate. I don’t usually do any kind of song analysis but I need this one desperately. Please bear with me.

So I’ve seen interviews where Andrew states the song was written specifically for someone, and that it’s a love song. I believe I saw something about it being a song about a new relationship after heartbreak. (Now bits of his personal info support this, however I would like to make a separation between artist and song, therefore I will say The Singer when referring to the specifics within the song)

Ok so we get the story of The Singer telling this childhood memory of warming his bed to someone. It’s the kind of thing you’d talk about with someone you are just getting to know or someone you are getting to know in a new way.

Then we have the lines

And darlin', all my dreamin’ is only put to shame

And darlin', all my dreamin' has only been given a name

So basically that The Singer couldn’t have dreamed a better person, that what he had dreamed paled in comparison to the real person he found.

And then that the relationship came easily and naturally between them.

Then we get back to the story he’s telling this person, then the dreaming before we come to this part that confuses me

And I wish I could say

That the river of my arms have found the ocean

I wish I could say the cold lake water of my heart

Christ, it's boilin' over

Here’s my confusion, is The Singer saying that he wishes he could say these things but he can’t because they aren’t true? That he’s not feeling the passion he expected to feel?

But this is where we also get a nod to the text, this song is placed in the 7th circle, the circle of violence which has a river of boiling blood.

Is The Singer saying that the violence here is that he doesn’t feel the passion he wanted to feel?

If so, how could the song be for someone new after heartbreak? Is it for the relationship that ended in the other songs?

Is the violence the ending of that relationship?

Am I just stupid?

[goldkirk]

my goals for august:

• buy a mattress for the first time!!

• pick a bed if I have enough money this month

• get new legal documents

• report the problems from my psych admission in 2020 to the hospital even though it’s super late, so they just actually know. doesn’t matter if any of them care or change anything, just want to do it for me.

• listen to 8 new music artists on my catch-up list (1 is already done, Pearl Jam. Listening to Pink Floyd next)

• have someone forcibly go with me to the endodontist to get the over a year old root canal done and make them not tell me anything else about other teeth until that’s done so I don’t straight up leave and never come back

• learn what annual physicals are and find out if my new primary thinks if I actually should do them

• get a lot more post it notes and whiteboard stickers for notes to myself and just go ahead and put them everywhere for the moment

• get more than 38 hours of sleep every week for at least 3/4 weeks

• make a poster board that’s just the daily flow chart for work so I can stop trying to hold onto the three remaining shreds of that memory and just give up and use the external instructions for a while

• bake a congratulations for escaping a cult cake for myself and put sprinkles on it

• go to ONE group social event (or something like a museum group I guess) before it’s the end of the month. Have you considered a support group or hobby group ever in your life future me??? bc you should

• figure out strategies for food hoarding fixes and sort that shit out fast before it compounds too much in the new place

• avoid any and all thought pathways or questions about anything triggering during work hours like the plague, so I don’t pile on unnecessary spirals or flashbacks

• KEEP TAKING ALL THE MEDS EACH DAY JFC THEYRE EVEN IN A PILL BOX IT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE EASIER AND YET THERE ARE STILL SOME LEFT EVERY WEEK. PLEASE EXPLAIN, ME.

• stop. eating. so. many. brownies. stop. it’s not fun treating yo self anymore. it’s alarming. there WILL be brownies in the future the world will not stop having cosmic brownies for you to access I s2g me. i can see you have something to prove to yourself by compulsively buying and eating this very specific food that was like The snack food echoing through childhood. but like. Christ, dude. lay off the brownies. please for the love of everything. there is no way this is helping. there is no way you should be eating pre packaged processed snack desserts as often as this. i am literally begging you to make one pan of beans again. why in the world are you tired of beans they’re the only healthy thing you know how to cook HURRY UP AND GET UN-SICK OF THE BLACK BEANS AND STOP EATING COSMIC BROWNIES THIS IS JUST EMBARASSING, ME 😭

• try to do some beginner art tutorials from YouTube in sketchbook and on dollar store mini canvases

• get thank you letters sent that have been simmering in a sauce pan in the back of your head for months

• get pooh bear and the old glass lamp n stuff from the storage unit and finally put them in your apartment

• I have no idea how many things are in this list, sorry people, I’m on mobile and can’t put a read more so I’ll keep it short

• write a one sided index card explanation of why I’m not ready to talk to therapist for now that I can just hand someone if it’s suggested

• start making a poster board chart for various flavors of dissociation so I can pinpoint the right type faster and then just see the instruction for what’ll help and hopefully save time

• somehow make a physical copy and two more digital copies of the family event and situation records I’ve started keeping so I don’t just lose them someday if I get hacked or forget a password. consider sending a copy of what I have so far in a folder or mini binder and sending it to a safe relative for one more layer of protection

• talk to actual financial counselor about debts and about the right rate I should fill the safe-place-to-land money account for the niblings if I’ve only got 3-5 years max

• write a small script to tell the boss and my daily coworker a bare bones but honest short explanation of what I’m coming from and how it might affect my work for this coming year and to please let me know early if they start feeling like I’m slacking off or if I’m not as responsive and on top of things as I’m supposed to be, so we can all avoid frustration and repeated cycles of increasing boom-bust stress because of my current natural tendencies

• log things more often

• get physical sunlight on actual skin at least once every two days

• go outside for an Aoife walk at least twice a day even if it’s an ongoing fear response the whole time. No excuses. It shouldn’t matter if other people will think you’re weird, your dog needs walks. Also you need walks. Also you need people. You are like five days away from full agoraphobia and that’s gonna be a no from me dog. Sincerely, not quite agoraphobic but definitely never wanting to leave the building again past you

• Say nicer things to myself. I’ve gotten really, really mean, I haven’t been this cruel to myself in a few years and it needs to stop. If I catch a thought consciously, I’m going to attempt to build a habit of immediately having to say one nice statement too, related OR unrelated, that’s compassionate instead.

• catch up on four people or groups I’ve completely not responded to in ages without explanation and apologize before August is over. Four is better than 0, which it’ll be if I don’t ever actually just start somewhere and let myself keep being tired and afraid

• get a second tally clicker to track how many times this month I’m actually not scared or on edge

• test the phenomenon about my light sensitivity being shockingly super different on that one drug and jot some notes or a little log to bring up with doctor later if it’s helpful or if I have questions

• talk to someone to see a physical therapist for my left knee BEFORE it gets actually injured. Make this the first time you ever listen to the signs before something is actually wrong-wrong, figure me! come one you worked really hard to learn to start recognizing what sensations are supposed to mean “pain” rather than just “sensation type 16374” and you’re working really hard to actually pay attention to your body when it has a sensation that’s supposed to be pain. That’s a lot of new neural wiring, bring it all together by connecting it one more step to make a whole brand new highway next to the old one. You can do this. Do it please before this knee is properly fucked, you can’t bank on having several years before any bad injury, you know now that’s not how bodies work and you could just get out of bed wrong and tear it if you’re at just the wrong angle and level of strain, get on top of this and it’ll be sooooo good in a few months, I bet our knees AND feet and hips will ALL feel stronger and more fun to move on if you do!!!!

• go to that one free yoga session so I actually see some people living here and get social time

• practice ducking and hunching less when outside around people

• get a psychiatrist over here and get all my meds switched over

• go fishing with Margie again before her school starts and take her somewhere fun with me

• bake Margie a cake

• paint a cardinal picture for Aunt P

• start writing letters to G even if I’m not allowed to send them and write them for the other kids too and decorate a special box to keep them all in

[realcatalina]

Mary’s puzzling portrait

Sometimes artist combined more than one portrait or got inspired by some, to create a better looking copy. 5 were used for this posthumous portrait of Mary.

I found 4 and I am the desperate for the last one. And here is why.

In this case I figured that 1st inspiration is portrait of Mary I(on left) held by Dulwich Picture Gallery. It has this green fabric behind her and is part of set done in  1618 to 1620 which originally showed 26 monarchs. Aside from finding that Henry VII’s portrait was mislabelled as Richard III already by then, it gives us no new information.

2nd inspiration and most notable is portrait of Elizabeth I as princess by William Scrots done in c.1545. It was inspiration for the background, but not the figure.

The dress, posture and jewelry of Catherine Parr’s portrait from National Trust Collection and the matching portrait of Parr in black dress were used as 3rd inpiration:

(You cannot see the details of jewelry on any picture of the black dress, which is why i don’t believe just that one was used.)

4th inspiration was portrait of Mary I from National Maritime Museum(on right)-but it is without picture on their webpage, so search on it on Artuk instead.

It gave us head and cross used as massive chest jewel. Howeever the issue here is don’t have a clue upon which portrait this one is based, because this too is a copy. 

Well, cross with 3 pear shaped pears, and golden rose with pearl above it. I’ve seen something similiar to the red version of the cross in one of copies of portraits of Elizabeth, but idk if that was actual Tudor jewelry.

And it seems like that is it-we found all inspirations. Lots of effort and creativity was used in creating this one. It’s copy but it amused me greatly. Fooled me almost.

I started to even wonder if perhaps it was based upon some original done in 1540s, upon which Mary’s later head was added. Because some details are so well copied.

But there was actually a fifth inspiration and it keeps bugging me. Because of the girdle. It is so perfectly done! 10 smaller beads, then big ones made from stone called lapis lazuli(azurite). Ever since medieval times it was used to portray piety and it was very very rare and expensive. Many artist couldn’t afford to use it due its price and i have never seen anybody with jewelry with it in tudor times. However showcase of piety, rarity and wealth, would be exactly what I’d expect from Mary.

It fits excellently with Mary’s personality and also with Parr bringing trend of some unique girdles in 1540s(her by master john has tiny carved faces in it).

At end of girdle is a jewel showing St. Veronica holding the cloth with the image of Christ upon it-Veil of Veronica(holy relic). Which is bit ironic, because Mary’s greatest supporter was Charles V and his troops during sack of Rome stole Veil of Veronica(holy relic) and it was not seen since.

So I’d love to know, where the inspiration for that girdle came from. Tbh, I’d even be happy to see it recreated by somebody and used as part of costume for Mary. I’d actually think it was historically accurate/keeping with mentality of the day. 

(I cannot say same about that cross on chest, it’d too huge.)

Unfortuntaley this painting is from c.1800, so I cannot ask its maker. 

And I went through all royal portraits of Tudor women, and I can’t find it. But since he or she used 4 known royal portraits, it would be logical if 5th was also royal portrait. But i could find nothing. I have no idea where is this 5th inspiration. Nor who wore it. And imo it is too well-thought girdle to be completely made up. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed it and if you know anything about this girdle then write to me please.

[theprayerfulword]

January 1

Psalm 119:2 Blessed are they that keep [the Lord’s] testimonies, and that seek Him with the whole heart.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Hebrews 11:6 Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

2 Timothy 1:3 …I constantly remember you in my prayers.

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness … but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Matthew 7:14 For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.

May you understand that you are the personal creation of God, hand-made with meticulous deliberation, thought-out care and precise craftsmanship, fashioned in His image, to His specifications, and for His purpose, a precious gem, a masterpiece of great value, a work of art bearing vast beauty and deep, personal significance to the Artist. In this way, you can begin to comprehend the tragic loss He experienced when His enemy gained the title of ownership through cunning subterfuge, causing the slime of sin to coat, mar, and warp God's dearest creation. Genesis 1

May you realize that though you have been formless and empty in the past, with darkness covering the deep parts of your heart, the Spirit of God has always been near, hovering, drawing you to Him, speaking of His love and showing His majesty through all of creation, ever patient, never tiring. He has always been present, drawing near to you whenever you turned to Him, so that when you accepted His gift of faith to believe in God's Son, He was there to speak Light into your life. Genesis 1

May you allow God to do His complete work of creation in your heart and your mind, as He makes you aware of spiritual things and brings forth spiritual fruit in your heart, giving you wisdom to recognize the seasons in your life and understanding for the responsibilities He assigns you to be steward of in the world. By this means, you will show the image of God that is slowly but reliably and persistently made ever clearer within you, seen by others and blessed by God, to be fruitful and bring increase to His kingdom, filling, ruling, and subduing all authority that is counter to and resistant toward the will of God. Genesis 1

Patience, My people, will be needed in this coming year, for I have much for you to do, and I have times for it to be done. You must be patient in your obedience, not excitedly running ahead or distractedly lagging behind, but patiently listening to the Spirit's prompting so you can move when it is time and stay when it is needed. Patient endurance will be called for this year as you are faced with trials and afflictions that the enemy brings against you. Know simply that though the desire of the evil one is to weaken and distract you, it is My will that is being done to strengthen and focus you on the work that you are doing. The defeated foe, even in his rage, can do nothing beyond My Word, and I am always there to support you. Just as a soldier runs an obstacle course to the point of weariness, and an athlete practices to the point of exhaustion, so the tribulations you experience in the world when you are submitted to Me bring you to the peak of your performance. Patient persistence will be the source of your strength in the coming months, for growth and increase come little by little as you continue studying in My Word and walking in My Spirit. Even when there seems to be nothing but the gray days of duty ahead of you, know that I am walking with you and am transforming your resigned acceptance into exuberant joy as the indistinct image of Christ becomes polished into the clear and unmistakable vision of the Father's love in your life. Be patient with one another, knowing that each one is working hard, carrying much, and following Me, so extend to them the grace that I have given to you and bestow upon them the mercy that you have received from Me. That is how My Body will be knit together, and how the world will see My love demonstrated among My people.

May you rest in confidence that past mistakes and previous errors and prior choices will not and cannot disrupt or derail God's plan and purpose for you. Just as the lineage of Christ includes those who did evil and many who made mistakes, as well as people who were outside the promise and covenant of God to His people, even so, the Lord will succeed in forming Christ within you using all the diversity of experience you bring and submit to Him. Matthew 1

May you be ever aware that to know the scriptures and believe them to be true is not enough, for even King Herod's advisors, the chief priests, and teachers could answer the questions of the Magi, but none found the Child except those willing to worship Him, whether poor, illiterate, and busy shepherds or rich, educated, and idle noblemen. When you seek Him to praise Him, you will find Him. Matthew 2

May you meditate on the law of the Lord day and night because of your delight and pleasure in it, for then you will not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. Psalm 1

May you will be like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in season and growing vigorously, prospering in all you do. Psalm 1

May you be grateful that the Lord watches over and blesses your ways as you walk in and obey His ways. Psalm 1

May you choose not to be among those who walk in the ways of the wicked, for they shall perish like chaff that the wind blows away, unable to stand justified in God's judgment or in the congregation of those in right standing with God. Psalm 1

May you gain learning by listening to, and wisdom by hearing, the guidance given to the discerning by the Word of God. Proverbs 1:1,2

May you attain wisdom to understand words of insight, and self-control to acquire a disciplined and prudent lifestyle of doing what is right and just and fair. Proverbs 1:3,4

May you be willing to receive the prudence He gives to the simple, and the knowledge with discretion He gives to the young. Proverbs 1:5,6

[breakerwhiskey]

079 - SEVENTY-NINE

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Hey Birdie. I’m, uh, I’m on route to Santa Fe, now, I guess. It’s a place I’ve always wanted to go—it’s supposed to be beautiful, and cultural, and it’s very much on my route, so…Not that I have a route. I have to stop following invisible rules. Just because it’s the next major city on the highway I’m currently following doesn’t mean that—

(sighs) Harry fucking loves Santa Fe. She’s been a bunch of times. I guess they have—had—a pretty vibrant art scene out there and she used to talk about how gorgeous it was, how delicious the food was, how much she’d like to show me—

[click, static]

Actually, maybe I don't want to go, I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to see it with—

[click, static]

No, no, I should go. I’ve never been. I haven’t traveled very much and basically never for the purposes of leisure—a trip taken for the sole purpose of eating and drinking and looking at extraordinary things, that’s…

…well, I guess that’s what I’m doing now, kind of. Even if it…feels different.

If I really could send a postcard, I’d put one right in the mail for her from…whatever Santa Fe’s most famous museum is. Show her what she’s missing. Show her what she could be doing if she would just stop—

[click, static]

That—that was our last fight. Well, our last huge fight. I think I—I maybe mentioned that we weren’t talking all that much the last few months before I left and that’s true. What we did say to each other wasn’t particularly civil, but it was all…inconsequential. Bitching to each other about house chores or making snide comments…

The fight that led to that cozy atmosphere was—it wasn’t about Santa Fe, specifically, but about…the outside world. I wanted to—well, I wanted to do this, what I’m doing, right here. What I’ve been doing, for the last four months. And she…

[click, static]

She wanted to stay inside. She wanted to protect us from the world by keeping us from it. Even though we had every reason to believe that we wouldn’t get caught if we ventured further out. And I tried to convince her, I tried to explain that even if there were other people out there, clearly we wouldn’t be a priority. I tried to make her see that the likelihood of running into anyone who even knew who we were or what we did was so slim, but she just…

She dug her heels in, like she always fucking does. She’s intractable when she wants to be, and trust me, she wants to be a lot. It’s what made living with her such a fucking nightmare. Everything had to be just so and she would be so condescending when I didn’t get the temperature of the tea right or whatever the fuck it was and the most infuriating thing is that I know she didn’t actually care if I did it right, she just enjoyed riling me up, wanted to pass the time somehow, wanted to exert control over whatever she could, which I get because I was the same way with the endless house repairs, which drove her insane because she wanted to build a home and “how can you turn a house into a home when you treat it like the Winchester mystery house!” That’s what she’d say. “Not even the spirits would put up with the constant work.”

It’s good. Yeah, it’s good that I got out of there. Because I haven’t been to Santa Fe, I hadn’t been to Colorado, I haven’t seen the Pacific. She has. She’s done all of that. She could stay inside and be content and root where she was planted or whatever but I need sunlight to grow and I tried to tell her that. I tried to tell her that I couldn’t see a future for us if we stayed stuck—

[click, static]

Jesus christ, I’m—I don’t know what I’m saying. She really…she drives me up a wall and I miss her and—

[click, static]

I—I’ve gotta—

Whiskey, signing off.

[fvirytips]

⠀ׅ ♡⠀࣪ ، ꒰ Heya! ꒱ ✧

Today my day has been much better than yesterday! So today we'll be having a post about music! Music is really fun and I want to help make sure whatever tunes you listen to, that they honor God. Or at the very least don't disrespect him!

୨୧ 𝆬 ׅ aims ꒰ ׁ ⁩─ ★

How to spot bad music

Why music is important

Good music

How to spot bad music

For my example, I will be using 2 songs, one that is good and one that's bad.

Let's start with the first one.

Firstly, look at which playlist it's from: Top Christian Worship Songs! This tells us that it's Christian and probably fun to listen to. Next, the cover image, it shows some people with their arms up. We can tell they are likely to be praising God! Let's see the lyrics:

Well its kinda obvious! It's praising Jesus explicitly. This is a great song!

Finally, there is no explicit tag! Now, you can listen to songs that have the odd cuss word in, but not ones that have a cuss word every sentence! It's best to listen to clean songs, though, to keep your mind clean. Also, the artist is known for good, upbeat, worship songs! So here's the steps:

Playlist

Cover Image

Lyrics

Explicit Tag

Artist

Let's try it with our second example!

So uhm.. the playlist this one is in is "MONTERO" by Lil Nas X. I cannot show the cover image as it has a nxde person on it so.. take what you want from that! Anyways let's see some lyrics.

Yeah... soo wow. This is a lot of pride and loving yourself. I'm all for self love, but obsession is unhealthy. The person you should love the most is God! Don't idolise yourself. Secondly, this song has a lot of swearing in it. Like a lot. So that's not good. Finally, the artist. We all know that Lil ma's X's song "Call Me By Your Name" is devilish. Even though the title references a bible verse, it is a trick! On rwlairy it's about worshipping evil. The music video is him doing things I can't even say to the devil.

So we can obviously tell that this is a no go.

But.. why does it matter?

Well, jerez why mudic matters! And instead of me blabbering on, let's ask the one, the only, (you guessed it) JESUS!

Some people think we shouldn't listen to music at all as Christians. Well this is the opposite! We should praise Him through not just prayer, but song aswell!

Colossians 3:16

"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts."

But we also shouldn't listen to worldy music that supports bad things like crime, evil and other sins!

Ecclesiastes 7:5

"It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools."

Good Music!

Your probably thinking: "Ugh! We never get to listen to anything good.."

Well firstly, WE DO! There's so many Christian songs out there. You just need to find them! And secondly, render Jesus' sacrifice? Yeah.. I think dying is a little worse than not being able to listen to Lil Nas X!!

So here's the good stuff!

ROCK

Skillet

Thousand Foot Krutch

Truslow

Anchor and Braille

Citizens

Fit for a king

POP

Blessing Offor

Mat Kearney

The Young Escape

David Dunn

Hulvey

Unspoken

KPOP

BerryGood

Plan.Z

KingdomPillar

Brian Kim

WELOVE

Markers Worship

HIP-HOP

Caleb Gordon

Lecrae

Aaron Cole

Wande

nobigdyl

Alex Jean

ઇଓ ֢ ࣪ ݂ ᴘʀᴀʏᴇʀ ( 💭 ) ׅ ❀ ׁ

Dear Lord, thank you for blessing me today. Thank you for making my life fulfilled, calm, and great. I ask you to help me honour you in all that u do and to sing my praises to you daily. Help others to be more like you. I apologise for all the times my words, action and thoughts didn't honour you, please help me to remove these urges from my life. We ask you in honour of Mary, due to it being May, the month of Mary.

Amen!

[blossomingasbeth]

Frequently Asked Questions

But why?

Since I was 14 I’ve been a student of the tarot. Over and over again I watched Timothy Edward Bowen wandering his Labyrinth from Malkuth to Kether.

The Secret of tarot cards is that each card represents different thing that we could all get stuck on, something that makes us all feel ashamed or guilty. Studying the major Arcana, or Trump cards, one can find all sorts of different sources of deep shame or guilt in the vast majority of humans.

Taylor Swift’s new album Midnights it’s a collection of brutally honest confessions of how the artist overcame deeply personal traumas. Another way of putting that would be to say that our sister Taylor experienced the shame and the pain each of the Trump cards, figured out a way to overcome it, and wrote a song about it.

It’s beautiful that the album became so popular so quickly, but it also makes sense because of the same reason that tarot readers seem to be able to read your mind and know your darkest deepest secrets. The secret is they are all of our secrets.

If you have been following me you know a lot of my story already, and you’ll know all sorts of little references made in the poems that I wrote. If you like Taylor Swift and know these songs by heart already you’ll find all sorts of little references made in the poems that I wrote. If you study the tarot, you will find all sorts of little references in the poems that I wrote.

I did this as a gift to humanity. This is not something I am going to try to make money off of. This is something I’m sharing freely with everyone. The idea is if you are struggling with guilt or shame, or deeply personal traumas, go through these poems while meditating on each one’s card, and while listening to the song referenced.

This will be a kind of mass ritual to learn to love yourself better. In loving yourself better, it is my hope that you will be inspired to create something beautiful.

If you do create something beautiful, and it was inspired by this ritual, please share it with the hashtag #HighNoonWithGrandmaBeth

I will monitor that hashtag, and I will be cheering you on with big grandma energy.

Ok but why Grandma Beth?

What’s this Game of Names?

My grandmother was my biggest supporter and cheerleader growing up. No one believed in me like her. My grandmother was 42 years old when she had my mother.

I will be 42 years old when I take the title of her mother, and her middle name as my middle name, hopefully legally at the end of this month.

It’s just one of the myriad of synchronicity surrounding my relationship with my Jamie, my transition and my spiritual Awakening.

The game of names is easy to play if you use Google. Just look up Allison, and see it means “royalty.” Any fool can tell you what job a Taylor does (cutting ties), and synonyms for Swift, but can you figure out the other names?

You talk of tarot and rituals? How can that be Christian?

The Kabbalah is Hebrew mysticism. The tarot is based on the tree of life, and the Trump cards are the branches.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth was a rabbi and knew the Hebrew mysteries well. His message was to let go of those feelings of shame and guilt and love yourself, so that you could properly love your neighbors, especially the least among us.

Big grandma energy is basically something you could imagine Jesus saying these days, that is if there was a Jesus. And if you look up on Google the meaning of the name Jesus, and the meaning of the name of Christ, what would you call that person?

The story of Mary Magdalene is the story of being witness to the resurrection. Let me, Grandma Beth  be a witness of your rebirth!

Oh and call me if you have the time sometime. And call your grandma and go visit her, if she’s still alive that is.

Grandma Beth 👵

[witcherslittledove]

May i suggest Henry sending Joey v explicit geraskier fanart?? (On the behalf of the other boglets who would like to see it, no pressure though my love)

Painted Fantasies

Joey/Henry - Explicit.

CW: RPF, smut, hand jobs, mentions of oral, sex toys and anal sex.

_

Joey was all too aware of the fandom surrounding the first season of The Witcher, and it was bloody terrifying. On one hand, he was grateful for their support, those crazy, wonderful fans that had made the second season possible, but it was just a little bit much for him on some days. So despite his ill-judged drunken tumblr blog ways, Joey had mostly stayed away from the internet as much as he could. He didn’t even promote The Witcher in the same way his castmates did.

But his rather lovely new boyfriend seemed to thrive in the chaos that was the internet.

“Joey?” Henry asked from where he was happily reading on his phone at Joey’s feet.

Not looking up from his guitar, Joey hummed, his tongue slipping between his lips as he tested two variations of a chord, trying to work out which one would sound better for what he wanted. He winced as his fingers slipped and the string twanged nastily. “Bollocks.”

“Did you know that people “ship” our characters?” Henry’s head rolled back as he glanced up at Joey, and, if his guitar hadn’t been in the way, he would have leaned forward to kiss Henry’s forehead.

It was one of the many things in life he was still getting used to. The fame and lack of privacy he could live without, but The Witcher had brought him to Henry, so he would be forever grateful. It was a strange feeling, being allowed to hold the superstar and kiss him whenever he pleased, but Joey was determined to take advantage of that privilege before Henry inevitably realised he wasn’t good enough.

“Ship?” Joey asked, as if he hadn’t spent his childhood in nerdy fan spaces before it had moved online, but it was far less embarrassing to feign ignorance.

“They want Geralt and Jaskier to kiss… amongst other things.”

Setting aside his guitar on the sofa, Joey shuffled forward and cupped Henry’s face. “And what do you think, darling?”

Henry’s face blushed beneath Joey’s fingers, and he gingerly lifted up his phone for Joey to take. As he saw what Henry had been reading, Joey felt his own cheeks heat up and he whispered a low curse as his boyfriend scrambled to join him on the sofa.

“Oh,” was the only word that Joey could manage as he stared at the art Henry had pulled up on his phone.

It was incredibly well done, and there was no doubt that not only was it Geralt and Jaskier, but definitely their Geralt and Jaskier. He could recognise himself in Jaskier’s features, although the artist had been rather generous with Jaskier’s body… and the size of his cock.

“What do you think?” Henry grinned, plucking his phone back from Joey’s hands.

But Joey could still see it, the way Jaskier’s back arched off the mattress, his cock hard and leaking against his chest, the expression on his face… pure ecstasy and Geralt fucked into him, his hole shining with oil.

It should have been weird. He knew he should find it weird, the fact that strangers online were not only imagining him and Henry having sex, but also taking the time to draw it… and draw it very well and very explicitly. But instead, he felt the familiar heat of arousal prick against his skin, a slight fog settling in his mind as his hand pressed against his cock in his trousers.

“Ah, I-” he cursed, and made a grab for Henry’s phone.

They’d never had the opportunity to fuck in costume before they’d wrapped season one, and filming for season two hadn’t started yet. Not telling Henry about his feelings sooner had been one of Joey’s biggest regrets of season one, but by the time he’d gathered up the courage (or more accurately been allowed to have enough alcohol in his system) Jaskier’s scenes were all done and his costume had been swiped out of his reach by the wardrobe department.

But Christ, the fantasies he’d had about Henry taking him apart on set, looking into golden eyes instead of blue, long, silver hair replacing Henry’s brunet curls… they were mind-blowing.

It was as if the artist had reached into his brain and plucked his favourite fantasy and projected it onto the paper, which just wasn’t fair, especially as Henry wouldn’t let him see.

“Henry, give it back!”

“Wait, I have more.”

Fuck.

This wasn’t going to end well for him, and sure enough after a few moments of scrolling, Henry turned his phone back for Joey to have a look. The squeak that escaped him was quite frankly, embarrassing, but he really couldn’t be blamed. The art was just as explicit as the last one, but this time Jaskier had a pair of curly horns poking out from beneath his hair, his skin glowed a burnt orange, and a tail protruded from just above his arse, wrapping around Geralt’s throat as the witcher sucked his cock.

“Fuck,” Joey swore, his knuckles white as he gripped the phone. “Like holy shit, Henry.”

“Yup!” The bastard agreed cheerily as if he wasn’t completely destroying Joey without even touching him.

“An incubus?”

“Looks like it.”

There was a garbled noise as the phone fell into Joey’s lap and he covered his face with his hands. He was unreasonably turned on, his cock already throbbing in his trousers, and he was pretty sure it would only take a few quick strokes before cumming in his boxers like a horny teenager. Thankfully, Henry seemed to take pity on him and Joey was pulled into his boyfriend’s lap, their lips met in a heated kiss.

“Henry,” Joey moaned against his boyfriend’s lips as he rolled his hips forward, enjoying the feel of Henry’s erection pressing up against his arse. “You fucking bastard.”

“I knew you’d like it,” Henry chuckled, his lips brushing along Joey’s jaw to his earlobe, catching it between his teeth. “Wanna see if we can get our costumes back?”

“Fuck, yes.”

Joey half expected Henry to leave him hanging, to call up wardrobe right there and then with Joey rutting against him in his lap, pitiful and wanting. Even the thought of that made him whine, pressing open mouthed kisses against Henry’s neck, but Henry just slipped a hand into Joey’s trousers, wrapping around his cock with one swift and practised move. Pleasure ripped from him and Joey keened, biting down on whatever skin he could reach to muffle his cries and Henry began to stroke his cock, using the leaking pre-cum as lube.

If Joey had already been plugged and ready to go, he would have torn Henry’s clothes off him right there and then, impaling himself on Henry’s rather magnificent cock until they both exhausting and covered in cum and lube, but he knew he would barely make it past two fingers if Henry tried to prep him now. He was too on edge already, the art seared into his mind, and fuck, the fact that Henry had been the one to show him. How many other pieces of art had Henry seen and stored away? Had he only saved the best ones for Joey, picking the ones he thought Joey would like?

“F-fuck!” Joey gasped.

“That’s it, Joey, I’ve got you.” The words burned like fire in his ear as Henry’s other hand slipped up the back of his shirt, holding him close, supporting him as he lost control of everything, knowing only the pleasure, Henry’s fingers on his cock. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

And he did. With a choked moan, Joey spilled over Henry’s hand, his vision fading to black as the waves of pleasure washed over him. He was only vaguely aware that he was still rutting in Henry’s lap, babbling nonsensical words, even as Henry stood up, holding Joey tightly as he was carried through to the bedroom.

The night had only just begun.

[warwickroyals]

CHAPTER XIII: SELF-PORTRAIT

Beginning | Previous | Next

Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I loved this scene so much fun to write! I hope Shelby going like 👁👄👁 in the background wasn't too distracting! I think my favourite screenshot is the last one. Love the contrast of Jean in these bright colours with Phillip still wearing his dark clothes from yesterday lol

PS - Jean just let a huge contradiction about herself slide. It's subtle, but once you notice it, you'll be going like "hmmmm 🤔". You might have to go back a few posts to notice it, but it's there and it will be addressed later.

All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💖

[JEAN] I can’t help but admit: I was curious. Y’know, with all the noise about her being an ordinary girl turned princess. So, just, imagine my disappointment. She’s, what, your cousin?

[PHILLIP] My sister-in-law

[JEAN] Then you must know her well

[PHILLIP] [scoffs] Hardly. Henry, my younger brother, made sure she kept her distance

[JEAN] Okay, but you still know her, right? What do you think of this?

[PHILLIP] It’s not bad. I was expecting an abomination from what you described

[JEAN] Don’t lie, she looks like she was chosen as employee of the month

[PHILLIP] I’ve seen far worse, I was a patron of a children’s finger-painting charity for eleven years

[JEAN] The critics are against you, the general consensus is that her eyes are dead and lifeless,

not an ounce of personality to be found. It’s unnerving, really

[PHILLIP] This is her first one, isn’t it? My first official portrait was . . . Christ, I think I had them

hide it in the attic somewhere.

[JEAN] Perhaps you guys shouldn’t even bother with these things. It’s not like this one is attracting many eyeballs and she’s the monarchy’s star, or, so I’m told

[PHILLIP] And this relates to you not painting portraits how?

[JEAN] I’m getting there. I actually know the painter behind this portrait, I’ve met her several times. And she’s a good artist, at least, she’s better than this. So, you know, I’m curious so I call her up, like, what the fuck? And she’s, like, I know, I hate it too

[JEAN] She told me she had ten sessions with the Duchess over a period of four months, and, as time went on she, began to dread them. Shelby was extremely hard to please.

[PHILLIP] That . . . wouldn’t surprise me

[JEAN] Yeah, she made demands. Her eyes weren’t quite that shade of blue, she said, and she would really prefer her hair to be closer to auburn instead of ginger. She really hated the idea of smiling with her teeth, for some strange reason

[JEAN] It kept going that way through the second, and third drafts as well. Fast-forward a few months and you have a portrait that says nothing. The worst thing you can say as an artist. Nothing

[PHILLIP] Perhaps saying nothing counterintuitive for an artist, but for a member of the royal

family? That’s the status quo

[JEAN] It’s a good thing I’m not royalty, then. I don’t get people. They’re controlling and possessive. They leave no room for nuance or interpretation. Sometimes it saddens me

[JEAN] It triggers my social anxiety—I’m also in therapy for a reason, you see. Portraits require

a lot of emotional work and intimacy and introspection and collaboration and . . .

I’ve struggled with those things my entire life so . . . If I ever were to paint someone

it would have to be behind their back, which sounds creepy, I guess but . . .

[PHILLIP] I’ve dealt with creepier, my ego really isn’t the healthiest

[JEAN] The answer’s still no. Also—don’t take this the wrong way, you’re very attractive—but you’re pretty generic looking. You look like someone who’d take the subway

[PHILLIP] The subway?

[JEAN] You’ve never taken the subway, have you?

[PHILLIP] Can’t say I’ve had the displeasure

[JEAN] First time for everything. My shift’s about to start and I don’t know how you’ll get home without someone driving you, you’re clearly not a hundred percent sober

[PHILLIP] You work here?

[JEAN] Pencil dresses and pumps aren’t my typical style: I’m the artistic director here

[PHILLIP] Nice title, almost better than mine. So, that’s it, then?

[JEAN] Yeah, I guess so

[JEAN] Take care of yourself, Phillip. Unlike me you have a big reputation . . . and a family

[voxmortuus]

Herding The Calf

PAIRING: Hannibal Lecter x F!Reader

UNIVERSE: Hannibal (NBC)

WORDS: 1.1k

WARNING: Sorry if this is a little fast-paced and choppy. I feel like my writing is shit today!

SUMMARY/PROMPT: From a lovely Anon: may I ask for a hannibalxreader? id like Hannibal to try to kidnap reader after stalking them for months (as he is interested in the reader and wants to get closer to them, but the only way he thinks he can make the reader care for him is to make them rely on him for all support, therefore he holds them hostage) but the reader is a good fighter and ends up hurting him pretty good, though he eventually knocks them out and the reader is held hostage in his basement and isn't necessarily afraid, just more aggravated because they're bored and want to do something and every time he visits them they ask for stuff to ease their boredom and what have you I want you to take artistic liberty over this as it is pretty much a summary prompt, just have fun if you write this lol have a nice day!

TW: Language | Mentions of Violence | Hostage | Kidnapping | Stockholm Syndrome

IMAGE CREDIT: Google

My Masterlist | Taglist | REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

A mess of monkeys was pounding on a steel door with ball-peen hammers. Neon lights flashed on and off fast enough to send any epileptic into a seizure. Looking around, you let out a slight moan. The last thing you remember was getting ready to leave Hannibal's house before your face met the floor. Rubbing your head, you look around.

"You have got to be fuckin' kidding me?" You mutter. Taking in your surroundings, you see a toilet with a privacy wall, a bed that of which you woke up on, a sink, and a stand-up shower... and that's it. "He just couldn't take the hint." You shake your head. You try screaming, but nothing was coming of it. Chances are, this basement was soundproof. You try to walk around but, there is no luck whatsoever; here is a glass wall separating you from the rest of the basement. "GOD DAMN IT! HANNIBAL! WHAT THE FUCK?!" you yell. Frustrated.

He makes his way downstairs and takes a seat in front of your... cell. He sits down, looking at you, wiping his lip from the blood you had caused, clocking him a good one in the jaw. "You're a good fighter, Y/N, you got me good, may have even fractured a few ribs... but, you lost, I'm afraid. I wish you would have just listened, given it a chance." He stated.

"Well, Hannibal, you screwed the pooch on that one now, didn't ya? Couldn't you just take the hint? I wasn't interested. You stalked me! For MONTHS! Yet you always managed to have a god damn alibi when I tried to get the police involved. You need help Hannibal." You told him. Looking over his face, rather proud of yourself. Though you thought a moment, you wanted your money back on those damn self-defense classes.

Hannibal wanted you to need him, to rely on him. This was the only other option. When you left his care, he was insistent that you needed to stay, but you felt like you didn't need him anymore, you were feeling better, you felt like you had accomplished in your mental strength. That, and he was getting far too involved; hence you started putting more distance.

Looking at him, you rubbed your face shaking your head. "Hannibal, just let me go. I won't get the police involved- just- let me go. Please."

He stands up and looks at you. "I will bring you dinner and something to drink." He walks away.

"DAMN IT!" You bang on the glass, angry, and rightfully so. You begin to pace. There's nothing to do, nothing to read, he took your phone. You sigh; sitting on the bed, you put your head in your hands and close your eyes, trying to figure out ways to get out of this.

Day in and day out, you pace, growing bored, growing more frustrated, growing more aggravated and agitated. Looking at the wall, your back facing the glass wall, you sigh. Hannibal comes downstairs and takes a seat in front of the window wall.

"Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed, bored, agitated, fuckin Christ Hannibal, a book, art supplies, something. I can't just sit here, pace and sleep. I need substance in my life, and you're not providing that." You state, facing away from him.

"I can give you books. What else?"

"To be let go."

"I will bring you some books. We will discuss some art supplies later."

You've gone through all six books he had brought down to you, Gone With the Wind, Pride and the Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Little Women, and Wuthering Heights. Sighing you had lost track of time, your sleep schedule was likely off, and your eating habits were off, you were losing weight, at least you showered, and he had given you a razor, knowing that you wouldn't harm yourself, so at least you could keep up on your shaving. He gave you clean clothes every day. To some, this wasn't so bad, but to you, it was starting to wear on you.

One night Hannibal had decided to sit in the dark you had no idea he was there. You had gone to sleep. Tossing and turning, cold sweats, you start dreaming.

You're stuck in a cage, hanging above a crowd of people, but there's something wrong with these people; they're sick, ill, bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears. They're trying to get to you, trying to claw at you, not eat you, but they want to kill you. You see Hannibal in the distance, and you start screaming for him. Your voice goes horse. You begin to panic a little more; you're thrashing about in bed. You shoot up and gasp for breath. "HANNIBAL!" you scream.

Standing up, he walks over to the wall looking at you. "Are you okay Y/N?"

"I had the worst dream. People were trying to claw at me, trying to kill me. They were bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears... I was in a cage, hanging above them, they started to climb the cage, and you were in the distance. I tried calling for you, but I woke up. It was horrifying." You wrap your arms around your knees and look up at him. "Hannibal, please, let me go. Please." You start to cry.

Tilting his head, he looks at you and shakes his head. "I'm afraid I cannot do that." He turns and leaves.

After a few days, he has brought you some high-quality art supplies, canvas, paints, brushes. You had gotten back in touch with your artistic side, and it was honestly a nice feeling. He would come down and watch you, observe you, and you had grown to like his company. Each day you two would talk a little longer, get to know each other a little better. You two would even have art time together and eat dinners together. He kept you in this glass box, and as time went on, you had grown accustomed to it. He had even given you a cat to keep you company. Things were changing in you.

Over time, you had liked the idea of being with him; it was this feeling of calm over you when you saw him. It was like everything was going to be okay. Fleeing wasn't a thought, not so much anymore- at least. He sits there and looks at you. "Good afternoon, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Hannibal, I would like to see the outside. Would you accompany me?"

He smiles and looks over your face. Tilting his head, he looks deep into your eyes and unlocks the door, takes your hand, and brings you out back. The sun hits your face you smile. Looking up at him, you smile again. "What a lovely day." you smile. And your wheels start turning surveying the area, but there was this tiny bit that stopped you; if you ran, and he caught you, your next capture, you could be the next meal.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from the VtM Toreador clanbook (revised edition) Ch 1

“I am pleased to announce that my project was a success in all particulars.” “ You insolent little snip. Who are you to question me?” “Have you any talent of worth?” “Can you not play, or sing, or clap your forepaws in an amusing fashion?” “ God grant that your hands are as gentle as your mouth is coarse.” “You have some talent at least.” “This is truly a degenerate age.” “It’s a pity though. It’s a sad waste.” “Do vampires still scheme and squabble like children, even on the edge of Christ’s 2000th year?” “No vampires were slain.” “Hannibal could have taken the Roman Empire entire, if only he’d had the troops to hold what he conquered. It’s almost comic — Hannibal won every battle but lost the war.” “The assassin failed.” “I’ve found, though, that anywhere you have more people than work for them to do, you get bizarre behavior.” “The laughter didn’t last long.” “They saw, they hated, and they attacked.” “Do you think this item really existed?” “For me, I had no desire to return to mortal life. A few more years of sunlight seemed like a foolish trade for an eternity of nights.” “ Perhaps the war was only a means to an end.” “Perhaps the goal of the war was to weaken all of our kind.” “Good God, how stupid do they think we are?” “They wished to be respected by the population, not just feared.” “ I can’t read Greek, of course, but that doesn’t detract from the books’ value.” “To say more would only make me seem flighty and superficial, so I will hold my tongue.” “ Sometimes I wonder if we need religious conflict in order to bring out the best in us, if only a test of our faith can truly bring out our most vivid emotions.” “ We’re not always known for our judgment when passion gets in the way.” “We can affect the symptom, but never effect a cure.” “Wealth was the ultimate goal.” “ Such is the price of progress.” “ According to social psychology, the modification of one’s opinions to make them agree with one’s actions is part of the process called “cognitive dissonance.” Very few people want to see themselves as “evil.” “Religious fervor is almost never good for our kind, especially puritanical fervor.” “ Why yes, I am a cynic. Why do you ask?” “I have sometimes heard historians called artists, and I believe this must be correct. While their style may leave something to be desired in my eyes, they certainly take great liberties with our histories. And yet, when you look a little closer, perhaps they reveal more than they intend to.” “ Everyone is biased after all.” “ Perhaps they had only the best of intentions at heart.” “If history is an art form, then where is the beauty within its pages?” “ In our histories, America is always the good guy.” “ What do we learn from this except that politicians and governments are selfish?” “ I think no politician makes a political decision out of the goodness of his heart. It’s always a political gambit.” “ Who could work in such an environment and retain his humanity?” “It takes longer for the poor because they must dig themselves up out of obscurity by their own fingernails, but at least it’s possible now.” “ An infinite number of media are now called art by some portion of society.” “ Nor should all artists be supported; sometimes a growling stomach can galvanize a creator in a way nothing else can.” “ Art has lost its power.” “ I’d say art’s power is just being realized.” “ I love having access to the world’s knowledge at the click of a button.” “ Me, I’m young enough to not fear the computer, but old enough to not want to spend all of my time there.” “ Just give up and die; the world would be a better place for it.” “ Utopias gave way to terror and destruction.” “ How can our art not be dark and terrifying? Terrorism, famine, plagues, sexual exploitation, neglect of underdeveloped countries and genocide haunt us.” “ When the ugly is all there is to see, some people learn to appreciate it.” “ This is a terrifying time.” “ Art has always highlighted the hopes, dreams, fears and nightmares of the living.” “Maybe nothing will come of this.” “Maybe it’s just the natural order of things.”

[erodasghosts]

memories & misconceptions | harry styles

prologue: the summer flashback

↳ read Thea’s version (tom holland fic) by @peeterparkr​

song: adore you - harry styles

after months of working on this with nancy (@peeterparkr) i am very excited to be posting the first part of our new conjoined series. this will be two seperate fics, telling two different stories. they are each reader inserts, but the harry reader in the tom fic is named kat, and the tom reader in this fic is called thea (if that makes sense?) so you kind of get to pick which you want to focus in on more :) but to get the full experience read both!

story summary: Not every relationship can last forever, but what decides when it ends? Is it the memories of when things were, or is it the misconceptions of the present. What is stronger in matters of the heart when love and friendship becomes a choice? Does pride dim our devotion enough for it to be forsaken?

And is obstinacy strong enough to erase the memory of a hopeful summer night? When a group of friends are reunited after years of unspoken truths and turbulent grudges,  old arguments and fights might ricochet, and though their history might be dense enough to drown them, it might be the one thing to keep them afloat. 

prologue summary: the beginning of what was thought to be an endless love, and of the distance that would only grow further.

pairing: harry styles x artist!reader

warnings: none?

word count: ~9.3k

a/n: i hope you enjoy, and please give any feedback!

story masterlist

next chapter

masterlist

The wind brushed in through Harry’s bedroom window, pushing on the curtains with a calm and warm air. Summer always seemed so distant or quick to end, never stuck too long in the heat of it.

Summer struck you similarly to a craving that one can’t quite shake. People seem to dream of summer when finding themselves in the cold winter snow, yet wishing they could have just one last summer night when it is coming to an end. But summer was never meant to last for an eternity, and there were definitely things that no one wouldn’t miss when it did finally end.

Summer, though with its pleasant sunny days and warm nights, is about much more than just its weather. It was the time to be surrounded by friends, and an opportunity to feel that you had a supportive family. This was when lonely nights felt less empty, because you at least had the endless opportunities to see everyone together.

It was when new beginnings seemed to take place. There was a sense of security and possibly even courage that was placed within you at this time, allowing you to take some chances you might never risk otherwise. Even if summer wasn’t forever, and even if that courage would fade, you would try to take it in as if it was never ending. It was more beneficial and less damaging to just accept things as they came.

With the opportunity for new beginnings, you wondered what possibilities still would lie ahead. And not just for yourself, but your friends as well. You thought that maybe now, with summer getting closer to its end, you could find some of that temporary courage to use between yourself and Harry, and maybe Thea or Tom would find some for one another. Because if there was ever a time to take a chance in a new relationship it would be now.

“We’re playing this new song at Nana’s tonight,” Harry’s voice softly spoke above the flow of the wind, “I’m a bit nervous about it, we’ve only ever practiced it together...” he took a breath in. “It’s a great song, of course, because I wrote it,” he grinned, “but do you mind if I play it and you can tell me what you think?”

You smiled, looking up at him as you laid back on his bed, he was biting his lip anxiously. “Of course. I’m sure it’ll be great, I’m happy to help you still.”

He was sat beside you, one leg over the edge and holding his old guitar he used when writing songs. “Well, I’ve been working on it for a while,” he began to strum lightly with a quiet laughter, “just think of how much work and dedication I’ve put into this before being too harsh.”

“Oh, of course,” you laughed and placed a finger on your temple, “I’ll keep note of that as I’m judging.”

“Good,” he continued to play, nodding lightly. “But really, if you think it’s just complete garbage, keep that to yourself? My ego can’t take the damage of you not liking it.”

You propped your feet up on the headboard and raised a brow at him, “Are you ever going to start singing?”

“I am,” he chuckled.

Harry and Tom had tested out all of their songs with you and the others before playing to anyone else, using that to work out any changes they might want to make. Thea usually had more input, considering she had helped them write many of the songs they played. You and Andrew were still always happy to listen, and had some helpful feedback from just a listener's perspective.

You looked out the window, settling in as he cleared his throat to prepare. It was unclear as to why he was suddenly so anxious about playing a song for you, but you had decided to just patiently wait to listen.

“Be kind with your feedback,” He looked over.

Hitting his leg you scoffed, “For Christ's sake, Harry, sing.”

“Alright, alright,” he caved, still with a boyish smile.

Resting your hands on your stomach, you waited for him to finally start. He was turned back, looking down at the guitar and strumming with more intent now. Whatever the song, you figured it would be good considering his nerves. It must’ve been something important to him, since he had worked on it for so long and was so hesitant to actually share it. You wouldn’t push.

He took in a last calming breath before beginning. “Walk in your rainbow paradise,” his voice was quiet, “strawberry lipstick state of mind.”

It sounded smooth, tranquil. Mixed with the breeze and the soft echoing of conversations downstairs, the song and his singing felt so natural, as much as the sun felt natural when kissing your skin.

“I get so lost inside your eyes,” he smiled back at you. “Would you believe it?”

Feeling yourself tense up a bit, you suddenly found yourself putting more care into listening well to the lyrics. It must’ve meant something to him, with his nerves and all, so you wanted to give it more attention.

“You don’t have to say you love me, you don’t have to say nothin’, you don’t have to say you’re mine.”

His shoulders were more relaxed now, though there still seemed to be some tension. Every few seconds you noticed him glancing over at you, awaiting your reactions to each lyric. You were unsure of your own reactions, not wanting to give much of one in the case that your assumptions might be false.

But what else was there to assume about it all? Every piece of the song gave the impression that it was carefully crafted to be about one person in particular, and you nearly didn’t dare to imagine it could’ve been about you.

You recalled a conversation with Thea from just days ago, about a fear you had when it came to Harry. He and Thea were so much louder, and much more open than you had ever considered yourself to be. And so you had known about your feelings towards Harry for a good while at this point, but those had yet to be shared with him.

It was this fear of what saying it out loud might mean, how it could make things change. It was summer now, though, and those fears were meant to fizzle out with the cold winter weather and the rainy spring days. Summer was your opportunity to take the chance in saying it now.

“Oh, honey, I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you, like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”

Maybe you wouldn’t admit your feelings at this exact moment, but soon. With more effect than summer was having, the words he sang seemed to give you a boost of confidence. What was the worst that could happen in assuming that it was about you?

Though less dramatic to the nod to your struggle with telling him how you felt, even the lyric about lipstick had been fitting for you. And, sure, it still could be considered a generic thing, but you were choosing to be optimistic now.

“You don’t have to say you love me, I just wanna tell you somethin’. Lately you’ve been on my mind.”

Feeling a burning in your cheeks now, you sat up to readjust yourself as casually as you could. Your backs facing one another, and shoulders side by side, Harry continued on. You could’ve sworn there was a pink tint on his cheeks too, causing a faint smile to form on your lips.

How in character of him to be saying these things through a song. It was probably feeding into his need to be theatrical, though he was still mindful of your own need to be more secluded as he sang with just the two of you there.

His anxiousness about playing it for you was making more sense now, because regardless of who it was about it was deeply personal. But his nerves were rarely so affected, it only proves acceptable to assume that he was in such worry because he was sharing something that was meant for you, with you.  

Coming to an end, Harry cleared his throat and sat his guitar down beside him. “So, uh,” he brushed his nose, “what’d you think?”

With a puckish smile you replied, “It was… colourless.”

“What?” He turned himself, crossing his legs and leaning closer nervily. “What-what do you mean colourless?”

“Well,” you pursed your lips, “I guess I just… it’s a bit…”

“A bit what?” He pressed, “C’mon, I’ve been terrified of playing this for you.”

You smiled, looking at your hands and twisting your rings around, “I would say that it was a bit on the nose.”

You could see him visibly relaxing, a small smile on his lips and his usual confidence returning.

“I wanted to be straight to the point with this song, y’know?” He sat taller, “Figured that I should say it as it is, get my message across… but that doesn’t make it colourless,” he emphasized with an amusing grin. “That was just rude.”

“You asked for my opinion,” you shrugged, holding back a laugh.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, though!” He laughed.

The sun peeked in through the window above the bed, warming your skin in some sort of a comforting way. Any tension or nerves had been eased, and the both of you were simply melting into that moment now.

Silence was something that tasted so sweet when it was shared with Harry, yet it was so sour when alone. It wasn’t a panic or worry of what might happen next, but instead it was more like a reassurance that whatever might happen, it would be golden.

“I’ll try to be compassionate next time.” You let out a dramatic puff of air, “Though it’ll be rather difficult for me, I’m sure.”

Harry reached over, a doting look in his eyes, and caringly tucked a bit of your hair behind your ear. “I would appreciate any effort you could put in, my heart can’t seem to handle the brutal honesty.”

Knees rested against one another’s, Harry let his hand settle on your leg just below where your own hand had been lying. Maybe it was much more like fiction or fantasy than you had ever really wished for, though Thea would adore hearing about that part of it later, but it came so easily.

Fingers grazing delicately, Harry was leaning closer in. Taking the chance now, right at the end of summer, was a somewhat terrifying option. Yes, it was still your opportunity for a new beginning, but time was running out. If things wouldn’t work out, where would that put you in the fall?

It didn’t really matter to you anymore, that what if possibility. You were far too distracted by what was in front of you right now to be worrying so much about the future. Whatever may happen before the seasons changed, you would deal with it when it came.

Tracing his fingers up along your arm, Harry’s eyes flickered between your eyes and lips. Letting his hand rest now on your cheek, you could feel your face warming back into a blush. You both closed your eyes as you were nearing into a kiss, only inches away.

Your summer courage was coming back through, pushing you to close the space between.

“Guys, I’ve got some shit news!” Andrew’s voice rang from the stairs before he rudely shoved the door open.

You pulled back from Harry quickly, that feeling of security seeming to fade. Harry bit his lip, a small frown on his face from Andrew barging in. Andrew hadn’t known, but he very well could’ve squashed that new opportunity had you and Harry not been so determined already.

“Is no one going to ask what my news is?” Andrew sat dramatically at the end of the bed.

Harry chuckled, “What’s your news?”

“Oh, thank you so much for asking, Harry. Glad to hear you’re interested.” He cleared his throat, straightening his posture and holding a theatrical tone. “Thea’s invited Dickolas to the show tonight.”

Sharing a glance with Harry, you were both a bit annoyed that that was all that was interrupting the two of you. Which, that was bad enough news so you could somewhat understand his urgency. Still, it came as an inconvenience to how things were finally developing with Harry.

Regardless, Andrew was likely there to stay now and he had pretty well ruined the moment you had before, so you’d hopefully pick it up later.

“She invited him?” You turned yourself around, letting your legs dangle from the edge of his bed. “Why the fuck would she invite Nick?”

“Something about… needing a bigger crowd, which is true, but…” Andrew scrunched his nose, “Dickolas? He will just ruin everything.”

“I s’pose he will,” Harry mumbled, he seemed more sulky than you had been. “You’re here a bit early?”

“By like… five minutes,” Andrew chuckled, “what’s crawled up your ass? Did I interrupt something?” He wiggled his brows, “Were you two finally making a move on each other?”

You wondered if Andrew ever got tired of being invasive, though you hadn’t really minded him all that much. He seemed to be the only one in the group that could always call the rest of you out, which was a bit of an annoyance.

His childish comment had actually left you a bit embarrassed, considering how new that occurrence still was. It was typically so easy to get under your skin, but something about Harry made you cave any time that sort of teasing had to do with him.

“Piss off,” you hit Andrew’s shoulder. “We should be leaving to help Nana at the cafe anyway.”

Harry watched sorrowfully as you stood from the bed, “Oh, you guys should go ahead, I still have to get ready.”

It was as if he was remembering something last minute, some reason that he needed to stay.

“You sure?” You picked up your purse, “We could stay with you.”

“Andrew can keep me company,” he smiled widely, clapping a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “We won’t be far behind.”

“Thank you for volunteering me,” Andrew jested.

It was a bit odd. Harry could take a great deal of time getting ready on occasion, but you didn’t really see the need for tonight. Really, you already thought he would’ve been ready to leave just as he was. It wasn’t something to make a fuss about, though, and you figured you might easily over think it if you sat on the idea for too long, wondering if it might have something to do with the song and kiss.

Ignoring Andrew, Harry stood to follow after you as you left. “Hey, I’m…” his voice was low, “sorry about him interrupting. We should talk more after the show?”

“That’d be great,” you smiled and lazily looked through your purse. “I can give you more feedback about that colourless song of yours.” You joked, testing to see how things left off.

He smiled, leaning against his door frame. “Maybe some kinder feedback this time?”

“Possibly,” you gave a devilish smile. “There were definitely parts of it that stuck, though. It’s an absolutely terrific song…” Pulling a tube of strawberry lipstick from your purse, you placed it carefully in Harry’s hand, “for being so straightforward.”

Glancing down to his hand, he closed his fingers carefully around the tube. “Straightforward seems to be getting me somewhere, so I will take that as a compliment.”

This was the perfect season to convince yourself to go through with any action you might have feared otherwise. Harry had taken advantage of that with his song, and now you were stepping forward too even if it was just with lipstick. But that had seemed to be enough for him.

“Will you be cheering me on?” He had a melodramatic pout, “With such a small crowd watching us play I can use an extra amount of your support, less people to cheer me on and such.”

“Didn’t you hear?” You smiled teasingly, “Dickolas might be showing, he could bring in an entire herd of people, you know. You won’t need my support anymore when you’ve got an entire crowd watching.”

“I’d rather drop the band entirely than have support from Dickolas,” he scrunched his nose. “What would that say about Pandora’s Signs if we attracted people like him?”

Pandora’s Signs. Such a corny name Harry and Tom had chosen for their band.

Andrew peaked over Harry’s shoulder, “Are you two wrapping this up so Harry can actually be ready on time? Would be nice if he wasn’t late to his own show for once.”

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing Andrew back without even turning to face him. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” He pressed another smile towards you, “Not that Andrew is right or anything, but I probably should start getting ready.”

You could hear Andrew mumbling to himself as he went back to entertaining himself, already annoyed by Harry. Why he had put up with Harry, or the rest of you for that matter you would never understand. Andrew had just been a very patient person, you thought.

“Andrew is absolutely right, you’re almost always late.” And he had been, even if just by a few minutes. “I probably should be leaving now.”

Though knowing he should let you go, he wanted to grasp onto every second he could get.

“So that whole… moment has really ended, then?” He reached for the door knob, slowly pulling it further shut for a bit more of privacy from Andrew.

“I suppose it ended when you decided not to lock the door beforehand,” you joked, gently placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you at the cafe.”

It wasn’t exactly the type of kiss either of you were hoping for, but you could settle. Harry had a cheeky smile, gently squeezing the lipstick you had given him as you left. You had been waiting to see how things would play out between the two of you, and reality seemed to be turning out better than you had ever imagined.

You were thanking the burst of summer confidence, an excitement filling your stomach as you made your way downstairs. Thea would be the first person you’d tell, you thought she probably couldn’t wait to hear it all. You had been gushing to her for weeks about Harry, and Thea had always so carefully listened. She had likely been a huge factor to where your confidence with him was coming from too, always the first to support your feelings of him.

And you had tried your best to do the same for her, even as you struggled a bit more to show your enthusiasm. It made you question how things had been going between her and Tom, especially since you had started helping him to catch more of Thea’s attention. You had known about her feelings for him for some time, and his feelings for her were becoming increasingly more obvious.

As hopeful as you were about the two of them, it seemed to be taking them much longer to get together than it had been taking you and Harry, even if the events surrounding the song were new. Tom had struggled to just be more upfront about his feelings, nervous of what she might say. And, for once, Thea was equally as anxious.

But maybe they had gotten further while you were up with Harry, summer could’ve been helping them just as much.

“Because it’s Dickolas Thea, he…” Tom’s voice came from the kitchen, sounding annoyed and a bit disappointed. “He is a dick.”

“And you aren’t?” Thea spat back quickly.

Or maybe summer wouldn’t be helping those two at all. What reason would they have for fighting? And why would they choose Nick, of anyone, to fight about?

“I mean, they both are dicks.” You turned into the room, agreeing with Thea promptly. “Why would we want to put up with two dicks?”

Thea froze up, turning her gaze towards you now. She seemed fairly taken back by seeing you, maybe just not expecting you to so suddenly walk in as they fought. But there was this look in her eyes, one that nearly seemed hurt just when seeing you.

“Oh, haven’t thought about that,” she pondered before saying coldly, “then Tom doesn’t have to come.” A simple solution, then there wouldn’t be two dicks attending the show.

“It's literally my band?” Tom glared at her. They had seemed so hostile with one another.

“Maybe so but Thea makes a point,” you shrugged. Looking over to Thea with a smile you said,  “Seems like an even trade with them.”

You made your way to stand beside her, crossing your arms with a placid grin. Whatever was going on between them, you figured you would have agreed with your best friend over Tom. Though you were close friends with him too, he could be a bit dim. Besides, you still figured that it was only a childish fight between them, not that any of it was being taken seriously.

“See?” Thea smirked, tilting her head mockingly. “Besides, I really do think that more people seeing you guys would be better, I don’t think a bunch of old farts is a great audience for your wanna be farty band.” She was right, honestly. They could use a better audience. “Anyway, I need to… go talk to Harry.”

Thea was making her way out, leaving you in more confusion and Tom was left in anger, it appeared. Though you thought, too, that he seemed a bit hurt by what she had said, specifically about the band. The fight didn’t seem to be as petty as you initially thought anymore. The realization that it might be serious between them made a bit of your joy leave, and you now were anxiously observing them trying to figure out what was going on.

“About what, exactly?” Tom asked, nearly walking to follow before stopping himself.

“The power of friendship.” Thea replied callously without stopping.

“Are you two…” you glanced between them, “okay?”

“No, thanks for asking,” Thea said easily. “See you there, my great friend,” she smiled at you before turning back to a frown, “and Tom.”

Watching as she left, you were utterly lost. Things were not at all similar to how you had hoped they were between them, and it was much different than the vibes between you and Harry just minutes before. What had you just watched? And what had happened beforehand to lead to it? Surely it had to do with much more than just Nicholas.

“What the fuck did you say to her?” You glared towards Tom, feeling stronger about defending Thea than him. Thea was never so petty without reason. You followed after her, “Wait, Thea, what’s going on?”

“What?” She was making her way upstairs. “Nothing, he’s just being an idiot…” it was odd for her to deflect. “Wait what’s… What happened with Harry? Why are you blushing? Did you kiss?”

“Wait, what? I’m…” you brushed your fingers across your cheeks, feeling a smile reappearing as you thought of what had happened. You were still excited to let her know, but that wasn’t what was more important at the moment. “No, we didn’t kiss, but…”

“But?” Thea was grinning widely, just as excited as you had been.

It had nearly been enough to distract you from whatever it was she was so harshly avoiding. What happened with Harry felt so unbelievable, the perfect sort of storybook thing that Thea had always gushed about. And even if it had so abruptly ended, you were excited to imagine where it might go from there, and you knew that Thea would have a few ideas to imagine out with you.

You shook your head lightly, more concerned about her and Tom. “You’re just avoiding whatever happened with Tom.”

“Nothing happened,” Thea insisted. It didn’t seem true, “But you’re the one avoiding whatever happened with Harry, please!” She shifted the focus again. “You guys were there for about… an eternity, what happened? You’re smiling like an idiot.”

She was right, you still were. You really were trying your best to hide it, but the feeling was too lively for you to just block it off.

“I am not avoiding it, I’m actually happy to share but I’m just concerned for you…” Which was true, but her distractions were slowly working. “Was I really blushing, though?”

“Well, what happened?” She nudged your arm.

Would it be bad of you to just let it go? You didn’t want to push her, but she seemed really upset about something. Letting it go for the moment seemed to be best, you could ask her about it again later, and maybe then she would be more prepared to talk.

“I’m expecting to hear about Tom later, but…” you caved, letting yourself smile excitedly again, “Harry wrote this new song, and he was playing it for me… he seemed pretty nervous to share, and I guess it… I mean, it seemed to… be about me?”

It had sounded so over-the-top as you said it out loud, but even just the memory of it was stirring up the butterflies in your stomach. You were still processing it, honestly, and it was just too enthralling.

Thea must’ve agreed on that, because all she could seem to do was let out an entirely thrilled scream. You laughed a bit at her reaction, almost wanting to shy away from the attention but being far too ecstatic to do so.

“And?” She asked you, a shine in her eyes now. “What did you do?”

“I… I mean, we were close to kissing before Andrew had interrupted…” you admitted, “and then on my way out I gave him my lipstick, like he had mentioned in the song.” You glanced at her, waiting for her reaction.

“Shut up,” Thea smiled, “you should’ve bloody kissed him in the moment you twit!”

“I know, and we had been so close!” Regrettably close, because it hadn’t happened.

“And how do you feel about this?” She asked, stepping closer to you as she went on. “Are you finally admitting it? That you fancy his stupid ass?”

Now that you might never admit, because what a shame it might be. You had admitted it, to yourself and very indirectly to Thea only once before. You didn’t really need to say it for her to know, it had been very plain to see, but she still had to tease.

You had been telling her all about him for weeks, though most of it she knew herself from being his friend too. But there were things you had learned about him no one else knew yet, though some of the things were small. Harry was interesting to you, and it was easy to learn more about him because he had always wanted all eyes on him.

“Well I never said that, did I?” You joked. “And I could’ve chosen much worse, like Tom or something.”

That struck a nerve in her, her eyes going a bit cold again. “Fuck him.”

You raised your brows, shocked by her response since she had rarely used such words. “So you’re cussing now, what happened?”

As excited as you were to be sharing everything that happened with Harry, wanting to go on and on about it, really, you couldn’t help but be brought back to noticing whatever was happening with her. If something happened, you would’ve rather talked about that than go on about your own more positive experience.

Thea never wanted to take away from your happiness, or anyone’s for that matter. “What happened is that you almost kissed Harry and you’re being stupid and avoiding it.” Which neither of you believed. “So, what’s up with that?”

“Hmm, sure, that’s all.” You weren’t convinced, how could you be? If you kept pushing, though, you worried what her reaction might be. “But I don’t mean to avoid it, for once, it’s just that Andrew came in. After the show, though, maybe I can get my lipstick back from him, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure he wanted the lipstick,” she began, a smirk on her lips, “so then, how about when he gives it back, you use it so he can actually taste it.”

Thea had her lips puckered, leaning towards you as she made kissing noises. You were trying your best not to laugh, wanting to avoid her comment entirely.

“Anyway, I’ll tell you how that goes!” You cleared your throat, “You’re sure you don’t want to ride with Tom and I?”  

“I’d rather jump off a cliff,” she rolled her eyes, quick to change moods again. “No… I’m joking, I…” Thea pressed her eyes shut, “I just need to talk to Harry about one of the songs… But I’ll see you guys there.”

“Uhm,” your lips pressed together, “yeah, alright.”

Thea looked over your face, noticing your response and worrying that she sounded too cold.

“Yeah, and if you get the chance, please break his neck.” She smiled lightly again, trying to brighten your mood.

It was false, a faulty wall she was putting up so you’d let it go. You could understand not wanting to talk about whatever it was, but it was a little odd that she was acting so withdrawn. And you had recognized her need to please people, so the fact that she kept changing it back to you and Harry wasn’t much of a surprise, though it still hurt in a way. Like she hadn’t trusted you enough to tell you what it was.

You figured it was a worry more in your mind, and you wouldn’t overreact just yet. “I’d take any excuse to do that,” you smiled back, “but I do expect an explanation once I’ve done it.” A subtle way of trying to make it an easier topic maybe.

“It’s nothing, y/n.” She said quickly. “See you in a bit.”

With another faux smile, Thea turned back and made her way up the stairs. Maybe you had pushed her too much. You had noticed that she didn’t want to talk about it, and you were angry with yourself for not just letting it go. But, you recognized too that you were only trying to help her. You were concerned about not just her, but Tom too really.

It didn’t make sense that they were fighting then, and that it had been bad enough for Thea to just walk away. That hadn’t been the worst of it, you would’ve known if it was. Whatever the worst part was had something to do with so much more than just you, or even Dickolas.

You still wanted to help them, and although Thea hadn’t been so open to accepting your help, maybe Tom could use it. You did still side more with Thea on it, having no background on the situation, but it couldn’t hurt to ask him for his side of the story.

Trying to shake off your last exchange with Thea, you went back to the kitchen to talk with Tom.

“Were you really that bothered by her inviting Nick?” You chuckled, “I mean, I don’t blame you for being pissed about it, seeing as how crusty he is, but it did seem that you were being a bit dramatic.”

Tom was running a hand down his face, leaning against the counter and sitting in his own bit of pity.

“Nicholas is… he’s an urchin and I don’t want him at my show,” he complained. “She just… decided to invite him out of the blue, like it was nothing.

“The show is open to the public,” you pointed out. “And Thea can invite whoever she wants, even Dickolas.”

“Yes, but why did she choose him?” He asked tiredly. “It was like she did it just to be against me, you know?”

“Don’t be so self centered.”

“You weren’t there when she invited him,” he retorted. He was quick to be so defensive, just as Thea had been. “She… she doesn’t even like him, but you know who does? Her bloody father.”

Your brows knitted together, “What does that have to do with it?”

It was true, that Thea hadn’t even liked Nick yet her father had. But her father hadn’t liked Tom or Harry, which didn’t seem to make much sense to you knowing what you had about Nicholas.

“She probably just invited him to please her father,” Tom explained, pushing off the edge of the counter, “And if he shows, at least she’ll be spending time with someone her father actually approves of, and if not she still tried.”

Thea was known to be a people pleaser, you couldn’t deny that. And she had often done things just for her father’s approval, so he was right in that sense too. But it wasn’t of malicious intent, or at least not often.

You had probably known more on the topic than Tom, considering how much longer you knew Thea and just the types of relationships you each had with her, so you knew that deep down her reasoning wasn’t just to get back at Tom. You hadn’t witnessed their fight, or her inviting Nick, but you knew Thea.

“Which do you think it is then?” You asked him, pressing your lips together. “Is it that she did it to go against you, or she did it because her father likes Nick?”

He looked at you, somewhat dumbfounded by your question. “Both,” he replied. “He has always preferred Dickolas over me, and she was just taking the opportunity to… to hit two birds with one stone. Inviting him would make her father happy, and she was being petty and trying to get back at me for before.”

“Before?” You asked, growing more and more curious. “What happened before?”

Tom’s gaze snapped to meet yours, as if he was suddenly remembering that you were actually there talking with him and he wasn’t just ranting about to himself. He had said too much, or at least much more than he was hoping to say at this point.

“No, nothing, it’s…” his mind was scrambled. “Maybe, well, maybe I’ll tell you about it later? We should just enjoy tonight, shouldn’t we? We’ve got a show to get to.”

A sudden change in his tone, Tom was guiding you outside with him to his car. You had actually been getting answers about whatever happened, and now he was just avoiding it as plainly as Thea. Prying did no good, so you thought it would just be better to drop it now before he too might get more defensive on the matter.

The fight that happened between them was something that they wanted you to think was nothing. They wanted you to believe it was petty, and that it could be let go of quickly. But if that were the truth of it, Thea would’ve just told you what had happened, and Tom would’ve too even if just to complain. You knew them, and you knew that it was more than they cared to admit.

You also knew that trying to force either of them to talk about it would only make the situation worse. They would become defensive, and they would possibly shut you out entirely. But, if they were ready to talk about it then they would. What worried you, though, was imagining when they might finally be ready, if ever.

Riding to the cafe with Tom, the sun seemed ever so slightly dimmer than it had been before. The breeze was still blowing the same, but the warmth in the air seemed to be fading.

“I’m sorry about all of that back there, with Thea and all.” Tom said meekly. “It was a stupid fight, and I guess I’m just sorry you caught the end of it.”

Maybe you’d get to figure out more about it sooner than you thought.

“It seemed like your usual joking banter, just…” you thought, “a different tone.”

He scoffed lightly to himself, “We had been arguing before, and then she invited Nick which just seemed to make things worse.”

“So I’ve figured out,” you chuckled. “But what in the world had the two of you so torn up?”

Tom sighed, pausing to think before saying anything more. He still seemed to have an endless rush of thoughts going through, and you could almost see him trying to figure out which to focus on first. It was like he was trying to be careful with what he said, possibly avoiding any more conflict like before.

“We were just talking about…” he took a long breath in, he seemed nervous.

It was a type of anxiousness you had seen before, though having not yet connected it. He was talking so softly, and there was a light touch of pink across his cheeks. Why had he cared so much about whatever Thea’s father thought, and even about her inviting Nick?

You had known about his crush on her, and maybe that had something to do with it. His nervousness would explain that, and so would his total confusion as to the thing with Nick too.

“Wait,” you were grinning ear to ear. “Did you… did you finally tell her about your crush on her?” If he had, why was she so upset? “How did you manage to fuck that up?”

“I didn’t,” he said quickly. “I didn’t tell her that.”

You frowned, “Oh?”

“No, I…” he licked his lips, “I told her that I liked you.”

What?

Tom was glancing at you, trying to take in your reaction, but you didn’t have much of one. You couldn’t really process what he said, because it was completely out of pocket.

“What… What do you mean?” You turned to him.

“I told her that I like you,” he repeated, as if that would help. “I said I liked you, and that I thought we were a good match. And, I mean, we’ve been getting closer so I thought that maybe…”

“You’re joking,” you shook your head.

“No,” he had a nervous laugh, “I’m not.”

What was he trying to get out of this? Was it some stupid joke? Was it just to mess with you after the song and all with Harry? You wondered if maybe it was some stupid test he was putting you up to before things with Harry went any further, since he was his best friend. Even Tom wasn’t that low of a person, though.

“You’ve got to be joking,” you didn’t know what else to say.

“Would it be so bad if I did like you?” Tom asked, and you swore he already knew the answer.

“You don’t like me.” You shook your head again.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” you scoffed, “because I know that you like her.” Meaning Thea.

“Maybe I don’t anymore.”

“Tom, be serious.”

“I am being serious,” he glanced over at you, growing annoyed. Of course he had the nerve. “I don’t think I like her anymore.”

“You don’t think?” What was he even saying? “And that’s enough for you? You aren’t even sure if you don’t like her anymore but you’re so sure that you like me?”

“Yes,” he replied, “and it doesn’t matter about her because I know that I like you.”

“Fine, I’ll amuse this.” You turned in your seat to face him, “If you do like me, why? What has made you change from wanting to be with Thea to thinking you want to be with me?”

That was the real issue here. It made no sense, it was coming from absolutely nowhere. There was nothing pointing to the thought that he might like you, and you weren’t sure what you did that would’ve signaled to him that you might like him too.

“Well, for one,” he began carefully, “we’ve been spending more time together--”

“So I could help you get with her.” You clarified. Was his reasoning really that simplistic?

“But being around you just made me realize that it’s you I like.”

No you fucking don’t, Tom.” Running a hand through your hair, you weren’t sure how to react at the moment. “Stop being so stupid.”

“I’m not being stupid,” he shook his head. “Why is it so hard to think I could like you?”

“Because I have literally been helping you to get with my best friend!” You scoffed, “What is about me that is making you be so fucking dumb?”

“I’m not being…” he bit his lip. “Why won’t you just listen to what I’m saying?”

“Because it’s a lie, and you’re not making any sense.” You said simply.

“It is not a lie, why would you think that? Is it…” he glanced over, “is it you think you aren’t good enough?” Was that a serious question? “Or--or is it that you’re afraid to admit anything because of what it might mean?”

There was nothing you had feared to admit to him, because you were comfortable with where your friendship with him stood, or you were before this conversation. Things were easy with him because he was the one from the group that was just like you. You knew that he understood why you were so careful when it came to sharing the truths held deep in your heart, because he had always had the same explanations for himself.

But regardless of his usual understanding, he didn’t seem to understand at all right now. The things he was saying seemed so random, having no evidence to back even a single word out of his mouth. And had he really mistaken your friendship for more? Wasn’t it clear of your intentions with Harry?

“Admit what, Tom?” You had had enough at this point. “Admit that you’re being a selfish prick?”

“No, admit that you actually do have some sort of feelings.” Tom probably thought he was being a genius. “But that’s what would be great with me,” he was backing himself up again, “I don’t want you to be pressured into that sort of thing. I understand how hard it is to be so open with someone, you wouldn’t have to force yourself into change with me.”

“What the hell does that mean?” What was he looking for here?

“We know each other so well, and that’s part of what made me realize how I feel about you.” He moved closer to the edge of his seat, gripping the steering wheel tighter, “Think about it, right? That’s why I was even coming to you about Thea, was because you could understand my feelings already. We don’t have to change how we express them for Thea or Harry, because we already understand each other.”

You knew that he could be an idiot, but was he truly so arrogant?

You didn’t mean to completely dismiss however he was feeling, because for all you knew he really could’ve developed feelings for you, but you really didn’t believe that it was true. If anything, you thought it was just some misinterpretation that he had done with his own emotions.

“What you’re saying is that because we both have the unhealthy coping mechanism of just shutting down we’re suddenly meant to be?” You mockingly nodded, “What a bloody genius you are, Thomas.”

“That’s…” he sighed, feeling more defeated, “no, but… We get each other.”

“And they’re doing their best to get us too.” You fought back, “That’s sort of the entire point of having any relationship with someone, is getting to know who they are. And that’s what I like so much about being with Harry, we’re still learning about each other.”

“Well, yes, but we’re already comfortable with one another in that way.” Why was he still insisting? “Don’t you see how simple it could be for us? We wouldn’t have to make all these huge changes to be with one another. We would already be comfortable in knowing who the other is.”

“I don’t want to be like this for my entire life,” you pleaded, “and I know you don’t either. It’s exhausting, and it’s crappy.” This was something you didn’t think you needed to explain to him. “And Thea always helps me with that, and now Harry is too. It’s not like it’s a bad thing that we’re growing as people because we’re around them.”

“Growth isn’t what I’m trying to talk about, I’m just saying that… you don’t have to force yourself into any change, you know that?” Tom really looked to be concerned.

“If you don’t want to be with Thea anymore can you just say that?” You sighed, “You’d be a fucking idiot for saying it, but it would make things less complicated.”

He scoffed, “Even if I did still like her it wouldn’t matter, she clearly doesn’t like me.”

It finally was feeling like you were getting somewhere with him.

“Why are you saying that?” Had something happened that you didn’t know about? Was that what was upsetting Thea earlier? “Is this what this whole thing is about? Did something happen with her?”

The entire feel of the atmosphere had changed, the sun now hidden behind the clouds. It was as if you were finally asking the questions he was hoping to avoid.

Tom was hesitant to reply, now avoiding looking your way completely. He looked like he hadn’t known what to say but almost as if he was thinking of the perfect response. You knew he might try to lie, or to just take the opportunity to end the conversation then.

Shockingly, he ended up cracking. “I told her that I liked you just before we left, when we were having tea downstairs...” he admitted, “and she hadn’t seemed to care, but you’d think if she did that she would’ve been…” he shook his head, “I don’t know.”

You hadn’t been there for that, obviously, but you already were guessing Thea’s reaction to him telling her that. Why would he even say something so stupid to her? Was he testing to see her reaction? Was it just some dumb teenage boy’s idea to see if she might fight for him? He was disappointingly thick.

“That’s what this all is about?” You questioned. “You stupidly lied about having feelings for me and she was taken back, and you took that immediate chance to just assume the worst?”

“Why do you think it’s a lie?” His voice was low again, giving up on defending himself.

“Because it doesn't make sense, Thomas!” You snapped. “I thought things were going so well, with me and Harry and the song, the-the lipstick, even--”

“What?”

“And I have been helping you, so you could get closer to Thea because that’s who you like, not me, and that was going so beautifully too.” You rubbed your temples, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. “Why are you now saying differently?”

How had you even ended up here? Fighting with Tom about something so petty.

He was being a fool, which he often was anyway. And this wasn’t just you trying to convince yourself that he didn’t like you, though that was definitely occurring as well, but it was that you genuinely didn’t believe it. And maybe you should’ve heard him out more, but the consequences of him saying that wouldn’t affect only him. It was already affecting Thea, and your relationship with the both of them. It begged the question of what else, and who else, this would affect.

“I just thought that if she cared she would have shown it.” He sounded totally defeated, actually taking it all in now. “Because if she did have any sort of feelings, she really fooled me… when I told her that all she could do was go on and on about Harry, and how opposites attract or whatever the fuck, so it was like the final nail in the coffin to me.”

He took a pause, pressing his lips together and sitting back a bit further. Even if he was an idiot, he did seem upset about her reaction. You knew his feelings for Thea were true, and maybe he really hadn’t realized that she liked him too. Thea hadn’t told a soul about her crush on him, she hadn’t even said it to you and you were best friends, but it was easy for you to see how she felt. Tom was hurt, and it seemed confused too.

“So you just spewed out that you liked me?” You asked quietly.

“No, no, I-” he sighed. “I really thought- or think?” He didn’t seem sure. “That I liked you. I guess I was just being stupid, though, right? I was just misreading all the signs, and I assumed far too much.”

You thought for a minute, trying to piece everything together. “Maybe I was just your fallback, since you thought that Thea wasn’t interested.”

Tom thought about it, though he didn’t seem happy about the idea. Who could blame him? It wasn’t exactly a good situation for anyone involved at this point.

“It’s just,” you began again, “what if you only liked me because I was there, I was familiar and I was someone you were comfortable with… and when you thought that Thea might not like you, you needed that familiarity?” You were trying to figure it out for yourself as much as you were for him.

He parked the car, silently taking the keys out as he considered your theory.

“That makes sense, doesn’t it?” You adjusted in your seat again. “That it was just a misunderstanding, because it seemed like a simple solution?”

Tom wasn’t giving you much of a reaction, and you had hoped that meant he was just realizing it too. That had actually made sense, it was a clear explanation to why he was saying everything that he had. It wasn’t out of spite, thought parts were, but it was just a mixup and confusion of his emotions.

“Yeah,” Tom finally said quietly, “that makes sense, I guess.”

He didn’t seem fully convinced, but you’d take what you could get because this was the simple solution to your own problems. It made things less complicated, and maybe it would allow you to clear things up with Thea. You wouldn’t have to worry about what those consequences might entail if what you thought of was true.

“Okay, yeah… great, right?” You nodded to yourself, frantically putting your purse over your shoulder and getting out of the car. “That’ll explain it all, and then things between us don’t have to be weird. And you can tell Thea, right, that it was all just a misunderstanding? You can explain, and you can tell her the truth of it now?”

He was much more quiet now, “Right, of course.”

And that was all you needed, for him to agree with you that it was all just a mistake, a misunderstanding. Because that’s what it had to have been, otherwise it was messing with everyone’s relationships and that wasn’t something that you wanted to deal with losing.

Now it was back to the focus of summer, back to focusing on the warmth of the sun and the calming twist of the breeze. You had your answer, and Tom had realized your truth. You convinced yourself that wasn’t an anxiety you would have to deal with for any longer.

“We should be going in now, to help get things ready.” Before he could say anything else, you went in to quickly distract yourself with any little task.

Knowing your way around the cafe well enough, you helped to set up the tables and such after having a brief conversation with Thea’s grandmother about the night. It was mindless enough work, just to keep you busy until the others arrived too. You wondered how much longer they might be.

Tom was inside now too, sluggishly getting his guitar ready. Had you cut off the conversation too soon? Surely not, how could’ve you? The solution was found, and it was clear as day… and hopefully not as mud.

When the others had finally arrived, you could feel the weight lifting off your chest. You weren’t focused on just Tom anymore, so that anxious aching was fading away. Though, part of you worried about telling the others about what had happened with him. That wasn’t something you could just hide away, was it? Especially not from Harry.

As you silently kept on setting up, Harry came up to talk to you, and that was when all worry seemed truly gone. The memory of earlier was still so warming to your heart, it clouded all other fears. Instead, you could feel those butterflies again, and the evening was brightening once more. Because it was warmer with him, you knew just what to expect.

Things weren’t as complicated as what Tom seemed to think they were between you and Harry, in fact things were so easy. You complimented one another very well, at least that’s what the two of you had thought.

“Oh, before we go on,” Harry smiled and took the lipstick out of his pocket. “I really would like to try some of this lipstick after the show.” He gently closed the tube in your hand, “But maybe I could get the taste from your lips?”

He laid a kiss on your knuckles, giving you a quick wink before going up on the stage to perform. Another smile appeared on your lips as you held the lipstick closer to your chest. It was moments like that that you dreamed of in the summer. That alone opened up so many new doors, and it included opportunities that you couldn’t wait to explore. That was the excitement of summer, even if in the simplest of ways.

You took your seat with Thea and Andrew, and the music began not long after. Thea seemed more relaxed now, and less upset about that entire issue with Tom. In fact, you had noticed her giving him a kiss on the cheek just before he went up on stage, and he now had red lipstick left where he had kissed her. You figured that was a good sign, they must’ve shortly talked things through.

Even Andrew, though he was a bit annoyed when his (rather new) stepbrother arrived, hadn’t let the night be spoiled. Everything was going so shockingly well.

As the music was coming to an end, you went behind the counter of the cafe to find some shirts that you had left there earlier that day. You had finally finished your design for a new logo for Tom and Harry, and you got it printed onto some shirts for them. More positive news for that day, helping to cover up your worries some more.

And when the music did end, you all gathered together in your excitement. Complementing their show, going on about how this one was by far the best show they had had, even if you all said that every single time. And the joy continued when you showed your new design for them, it was Pandora delicately holding a hawkshead flower. Things were so bright again.

Nana gathered you all for a picture together, thinking this might be a moment that all of you might want such a keepsake for. And this was just another day closer to the end of summer, yet for once it didn’t seem that this would all fade with the season.

read Thea’s side here

next chapter

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taglist: @rayofsunshine-28 @millennial-teenybopper @spideyspeaches @sleepingdancer @sippin-on-tea @imsadsothatswhyidab @countingstarsmylove @obiwanownsmyass @annathesillyfriend​ @saintlavrents​

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Look, Night Vale, I fucking love you guys and I have for many years. I’ve never seen your shows live, though I’d love to see one if I ever got the chance, and I’ve paid to download all the live shows that you’ve put online for a price. Shows I could have easily pirated, by the way. Once you put the video of a live show out there for money, someone else will put it online for free. But I paid for them all because I know that money goes actually does go straight to the relatively independent artists who do need the money (not that I think the Night Vale people are starving artists, but they’re not incredibly rich the way lots of other people are at their level of fame, and they rely on the money from those live shows). So I like you guys, I support you guys, I deeply respect you guys. I absolutely understand you taking a couple of minutes at the beginning of a podcast I’m listening to to advertise your upcoming tour. You’ve been without the income from in-person shows for two years now. Advertise away. I would never begrudge you that.

Having said that, as much as I don’t mind you advertising your tour on your podcast, would you please stop saying you’re touring the US and Canada when you mean the US and Toronto? Toronto is almost the US. If you want to call it a “US and Canada” tour, you have to at minimum hit Toronto and Montreal. I don’t live in Montreal, or in Toronto for that matter. I just think Montreal should be the bar for saying you’ve included Canada. If you get one city past Toronto, you can call it a “US and Canada tour”.

Okay, very specific and personal gripe over. I’m glad the Night Vale people are touring again. They’ve built an incredible franchise and deserve to be compensated for that. But my brother in Christ, “US and Canada” is not the same as “US and Toronto”.

[httphopewrld]

hot summer (sneak peek pt.2)!!!

He was a boy across the street—no—an attractive boy across the street who happened to be a tattoo artist. You didn’t want to do anything about it, but your friends encouraged you to either stop sulking or make a move. And you chose the latter. 

Pairing: tattoo artist/neighbourjungkook! x female reader

Genre: fluff and smuuuuuut

Rating: 18+ because there’s some smuuuuuutttt (it’s the most detailed I’ve ever written, soooo proceed with caution) and swearing

Warnings: smut, soft sex, dom!/sub!jungkook, dom!/sub!femreader, penetrative sex without protection (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!), bullet vibrator, oral fem receiving, creampie, fingering, making out, and swearing. There are mentions of domestic violence, but it is not detailed. It is in the perspective of the reader, who is witnessing this from a distance.

Word Count: 9,000-10,000 (each because there will be 2 parts)

A/N: Uni has been a lot, so I will be post the full part 1 on Monday. Thank you so much for waiting, and for all the support and love I’ve gotten from the previous sneak peek! Here’s a little more to keep you on your toes ;)

Also, if you’d like to be on this fic’s (and future ones) taglist, comment your username, and I’ll update this fic and have your username in future fics too! 

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You looked across the traffic, into the apartment building across from yours. A boy sat back into his chair, holding a book in his hands. He began to read, of course, in a simple manner. His eyes scanned the pages, imagining the words written in his mind.

He was man, most likely, in his early twenties, but referring to him as a “man” felt odd. 

You were fascinated by him. He was good looking, even from kilometres away. If you leaned against your balcony’s rails, you could see his dark wavy brown hair, his slightly sun-kissed skin, and his all-black clothing ensemble. He wore no shirt, probably from the heat or being in the comfort of his own home. 

You stepped away from the railing and back into your apartment, drawing back the curtain and turning your back to the balcony.

How long have you been gawking at this stranger? Had he glanced up from his book and saw you standing there? 

You drew all your curtains closed, paranoid, and embarrassed. 

People crowded the city’s streets. 

The sun was out, which meant everyone became runners, joggers, and walkers. People, families, and friends came out from their hideaways and into the sunshine. You, on the other hand, sat safely on your balcony. 

Crowds made you nervous. You liked meeting people, but the thought of pushing through a dense mass of strangers made you shudder. 

So, you watched people push and brush pass each other from ten floors up, sipping at your iced tea. 

You gazed at the apartment from the other night.

It was empty. 

You could see simplistic black and white art and photographs decorating the walls and modern furniture. His bedroom is to the left, with a gaping window that allowed anyone to look in. The same applied to the rest of the apartment: big windows and no curtains. 

You sipped your iced tea. 

You could imagine this man’s wardrobe. Minimalistic shades, and maybe some pops of colour. Chunky black sneakers and dark accessories. He must’ve been an artist of some sort. 

Your phone rang. 

“Hello?”

“Y/N!” Your friend, and roommate, Ashly, chimed on the other end. “Are you busy at the moment?”

“Not at all,” you replied, setting down your drink, “what’s up?”

“I was thinking of having a get-together. There’d be wine, snacks, and music. It’d be small, maybe five people, including ourselves?” 

“You want me at your party?”

“Well, it isn’t a party—just a few girls and gossip.” 

You pondered for a moment. “Where is it?”

“The get-together?”

“Yes,”

“It’d be at our place in two weeks.” Ashly sighed. “Is that enough time, mom?”

You chuckled. “Yes, my child.”

“Awesome! We can plan when I come back from work.” 

“Okay, see you soon.”

“See ya!”

“Bye.” You hung up and looked back at the apartment. 

The boy had come back. He wore a back cap, which he quickly took off and ruffled his hair, and, like a few days ago, adorned a full black ensemble. Despite the warm weather, he had worn a black leather jacket, jeans, and sneakers. 

You watched him shuck off his jacket and toss it on the couch, and head to his bedroom. 

He, with a lack of better words, flopped onto his bed and appeared to take a nap. 

You chuckled to yourself—definitely a boy. 

.

.

It had been a week since you looked back at the apartment. 

You had just come back from work, and Ashly usually arrives back home an hour later. 

The apartment you shared with Ashly was a carbon-copy of an IKEA display. You joked about it before, saying, “if someone were to flip through a 2019 IKEA catalogue, randomly choose a page, you’d probably think our place looked the same—or you’d find one of our pieces of furniture.” 

It wasn’t a bad thing. IKEA was a popular place to shop at, and it was excellent quality. 

Your furniture was various shades of white, navy blue, grey, silver, and light brown. The colour palette continued to your cutlery, kitchen items, and your bedrooms.

The place was cozy and didn’t leave room (pun intended) for a frivolous lifestyle. 

The boy’s apartment was similar yet different. There was a sense of minimalism, like yours, but the furniture was dark—almost raven black. 

As remarked before, there were black and white photographs and inky modern furniture. There were no colours in his home, just assorted shades. 

His front door opened, and two bodies tumbled inside—his and a female. 

Their bodies entangled with one and other and gripping each other’s clothes. The female’s clothes were the first to come off, exposing her bra and lack of underwear. The boy seemed pleased because he smirked before attaching his lips to her vagina. 

You were shocked, scared, and worried all at once. You wanted to look away but found a curiosity within. 

This man—boy—didn’t appear to have any desire to shut the world out. 

You watched as this boy perform oral sex to this female—in the right way because the girl appeared to be moaning a lot—and you couldn’t look away. 

It was like watching live porn, in a weird and public sense. It was, slightly, pleasurable too. 

They took off their clothes shortly after the girl seemed to orgasm and engaged in penetrative sex. He took her from behind, against his couch. You, and whoever else stumbled upon this erotic scene, had a perfect view of their naked sides. 

“Oh, my lord,” you gasped. 

You felt the familiar tingle in your lower region. 

Realizing this, you cursed under your breath and closed your curtains. 

“What the fuck,” you exhaled, leaning forward on the dining table. 

“I just watched my neighbour have sex,” you muttered, “and enjoyed it.”

You paced the room as if giving a lecture to a child. 

“You were turned on by your neighbour having sex!” You shouted at yourself. “What the hell?! Were you fantasying? Him?! What the fuck, Y/N? Might as well be Joe Goldberg, and whip out your—”

“Y/N?”

You stopped in your tracks and turned to your front door. Ashly stood in shock. 

“Are you alright?” Her Australian accent was thick with concern. 

You smiled, “Never better.” 

She let out a pulse of nervous laughter before tossing her keys in the small dish on the kitchen counter. 

“What were you saying about Joe Goldberg? The guy from You? And why are the curtains closed?” Ashly leaned her hand against the counter, and her other on her hip. She resembled a mother about to lecture their kid about a text from a stranger. 

You chuckled.  “Nothing of importance—anyways, how was your day, Ash?”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, Y/N. You’re not escaping this one.” She walked up to you and firmly placed both her hands on her hips. “What is all this that about?”

“Look who’s the mother now,” you muttered, making Ashly raise her eyebrow. 

You inhaled a lungful of air. “The boy in the apartment across from us is having sex right now, and they’re bare-ass naked in front of their big-ass windows. I had to close the curtains because I felt like I was intruding on their sexual activity, and it was just weird that they didn’t close their own—but I feel like that boy doesn’t own any curtains—so I just closed our curtains.” You said in one breath.

Ashly’s eyes widened with shock, “What?” She walked past you and threw open the curtains. 

“Ash, don’t just rip them wide open!” You rushed over and closed the curtains. 

She glared at you before cracking the drapes a bit to take a look. “Oh, my God.” She gasped. “They are having sex.”

“Still?” You crouched down and peered through the break. 

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, “and harder than ever.” 

You both watched, only for a few seconds before closing the curtains again, the boy drill into the girl. The boy faced the windows, leaving everyone to see his face and the top of the girl’s head as she tilted it back with pleasure. 

“Well, he seems very good at what he’s doing,” Ashly commented, walking away as you closed the drapes. 

“Ash!” You said in a loud whisper as if the boy across the street could hear.  

“I’m just saying, the girl seems like she’s having the best time of her life, being pounded by that dude!” She defended.

“Jesus Christ, Ash, shut up!” 

“I’m not wrong,” she shrugged. 

You looked at her sheepishly, and you both burst with laugher. 

Both of you spent dinner recapping your days: Ashly was currently dealing with an HR (Human Resources) problem in her company—she couldn’t go into details because of confidentiality, but it had to do with a problematic employee who was spouting racist nonsense online, which could affect the company’s image; and was immorally wrong because racism and any discrimination based on sexuality, race, religion, and so on, cannot be tolerated. 

Your day and work-life were conversely dull. 

You managed finances and taxes for your corporation, and the only exciting event to date was the incorrect money evaluation from a co-worker, which lead the company to believe there was wiggle-room for spending; when in reality, they were spending too much.

You pushed the pasta around in your plate while looking at the covered windows. You watched the curtains sway in the wind. Ashly had opened the windows a few minutes ago to let the hot air out of the apartment. 

It was the hottest summer since you moved to the city five years ago, including the weather and the recently noticed neighbour across the street. 

You continued to think about him and the way he had sex with that girl. It was romantic, yet aggressive and needy. 

Fuck. You cursed. 

“Hello?” Ashly waved a hand in front of your face. “I know that HR can be boring to listen to, but please try to look interested.” 

You chuckled, “Sorry, Ash. I just zoned out a bit.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied, “but thank you for the apology.”

She sighed. “Well, I’m ready to watch some Netflix.” She looked at her watch, “And as it is almost eight o’clock, I think I’ll only be able to last for a ripe two hours until my old body starts to shut down.”

You laughed, taking both of your empty plates and cutlery to the kitchen. Ashly joined you, bringing the drained wine glasses. 

“Care to join me?” She asked while you loaded the dishes. 

“It’d be the highest honour, m’lady.” 

⋅. ✯ .⋅

Reminder:

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- Mae (httphopewrld)