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quarktrinity · 10 months

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quark watches star trek season 1 episode 29

oh cool this is the last episode of season 1

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk

weirdly colorful star map

why do they call other ships "he" i thought ships were girls

hey wasnt warp factor 8 super dangerous are we just cool with that now

kirk determined to save other ship flying into the sun i love this dude

some cryptic shit

k that dudes dead. bye

omg jims brother is on this planet :0

i just called kirk jim. i didnt even think about it. oh god.

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk... 2!

kirk wants to see his family :(

this planet looks like the mopop in seattle. if u get it u get it

kirk looks nauseous with emotional vulnerability

insane violent dudes

omg they actually stunned them for once

something fucked ups going on here

kirk please you cant keep plunging crying womens faces into your tits eventually one of thems not gonna be cool with it

kirks brother is dead???

hahahahah he looks exactly like him

yeah hes dead

his nephews ok though

spock uses comfort! its not very effective. can they make out now

alright kirk you can do this. dont seduce your sister in law. i believe in you

her names aurelan im not sure thats a real name

aurelan dont make those noises

what are you talking about

this actress is determined to sound overwhelmingly horny when shes supposed to sound upset

some weird brain shit going on

"they"

evil brain creatures doing evil brain things to build ships?

horniest scream ive ever heard

uh rip aurelan i guess. congrats kirk you got through an episode with a hot girl without making out with her

kirk status: Repressing Sadness

are the aliens bees. they sound like bees

oh GOD

theyre like flying manta rays oh jesus. ok thats fucked

they look silly as shit but also the direction lets them be terrifying

SPOCK GOT MANTA'D

oh shit i think its in his brain

this is gonna be gay isnt it

anyone who thinks mccoy isnt kinda gay for spock is stupidly wrong

eugh its all up in his bod

alright theyre a little like bees

fight it spock fight it

"locate and restrain mr spock" very normal of u to say kirk

kirk pins spock to the floor. ok

i got bingo

spock u good

"i will be able to return to duty" i dont believe you

spock says i can just turn off my pain

"i need you, spock" DO YOU NOW, KIRK?

spock youre so possessed rn

yes scotty threaten his life

spock has Determination

"i am in complete control of myself, doctor" NO YOURE NOOOOT

kirk no dont believe him i know youre in love but you gotta use your brain i know you have one

sigh. ok spock try ur best to resist the evil brain things i guess

they look like those things from half life

theres so many oh god

cmon spock u got this

grabs u with my pinchers

mission successful thank god. manta ray thing kidnapped.

spock says fuck my own needs i am Useful

its a giant brain cell? thats super cool ngl

a lot of these aliens have really cool concepts and still look silly as shit

more mcspock sexual tension

kirk says computers good this time

"your affection for spock" DUDE

to spread brainpox or commit genocide. that is the question. kirk says no

star trek doesnt know that light is radiation

kill the brain mantas with light. ok

sorry we might have to blind you to free you from brain disease

spocks blind now

"these creatures are sensitive to light which we cannot see" you have described radiation. you said you tried radiation and it didnt work. dont do this to me

sorry spock we didnt need to blind you. its ok though he forgives us anyway

ULTRAVIOLET? THEYRE WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET???? DO THEY KNOW THAT ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT EASILY BLINDS YOU????? DO THEY KNOW HUMANS ARE ALSO WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT??????? DO THEY KNOW THAT THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT RADIATION IS OH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND

exposing the entire planet to a giant blast of ultraviolet light is extremely dangerous and im not sure they know that. theyre gonna be so sunburned so many of them are going to get skin cancer

ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT ISNT RED

ugh. ok i guess the brain things are dead anyway. whatever

mcspirk is so real and true

spocks not blind anymore. hes fine now. vulcan stuff

"my first sight was the face of dr mccoy bending over me" WHAT

"tis a pity brief blindness did not increase your appreciation for beauty, mr spock" WHAT????????

MCSPIRK IS SO REAL AND TRUE

#quark watches star trek #star trek #star trek tos

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callmemana · 1 year

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Arms May Be Wide Open, But The Brain Cells Aren’t There: #35

Dragon: pack your shit. We’re needed for a mission in Austr-

Lucky: uh that might be a problem bc I’m banned from Australia.

Birdie: wow, how embarrassing. Couldn’t be me.

Dragon: actually we’re going to Austria so it doesn’t matter.

Birdie: wait but I’m kinda banned from Austria.

Lucky: wait, what did you do to get banned from Austria?

Birdie: what did you do to get banned from Australia????

Dragon: I hate you both.

Bob: why the h*ck am I so cold and why isn’t anyone snuggling me and why do grocery stores charge so much for small amounts of ice cream?

Jake: why did you censor the work ‘heck’?

Bob: bc it’s a fucking bad word.

Lucky: it costs $400 to go see a therapist, it costs $0 to tell myself it be like that sometimes.

Cinco: *softly* no…

Birdie: I have a question.

Slider: Shoot, kid.

Birdie: in the word scent is it the s or the c that’s silent?

Slider: fuck you. Im going to be thinking about this all day long.

Ice: okay, we’ll cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’d say the S.

Birdie: but sent is pronounced the same way.

Slider: okay, Google says the c was added in the 17th century. So I guess the c is silent.

Bob: plot twist, both the s and c are silent and the letter e makes the sss sound.

Ice: Bob isn’t allowed to talk anymore.

Spicy: *lying face-down on the bed*

Rooster: hey Gracie, are you okay?

Spicy: *muffled* I just need a bit of a break from everything… including existing.

Rooster: alright, if that’s what you want.

Rooster: *plops face-down on the bed next to Spicy*

Spicy: *looks up in confusion* what are you doing?

Rooster: *looks up at Spicy* I’m taking a break from existing with you :)

Spicy: *smiling softly* thank you B :)

[both of them lay face down in silence until Spicy feels better]

Bob: *is away on a mission*

Birdie: *talking to Ozzy* I just miss Bo. Halloween was, like kind of our thing. Every year, we would dress up in cow onesies and egg Cyclone’s house…

Cyclone: that was you?!!

Birdie: Cyclone, please. We’re having a private conversation.

[bob, bird, and roos on an undercover mission]

Rooster: *through the coms* I need you two to argue and pretend to hate each other until they leave.

Birdie: *through coms* what?

Bob: *through coms* why?

Rooster: *through coms* do it, it’s for a distraction.

Birdie: *to Bob* you are too awesome and smart! It’s frustrating!

Bob: me?! You are the- you are the most beautiful girl in the world!

Birdie: *pouts*

Rooster: *on a sigh, through the coms* why… why did that offend her?

Bob: *through the coms* I usually say ‘in the universe’.

Mouse: how do people just stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you? I got out of bed once and I’ve been exhausted ever since.

Lucky: you need to learn to hate life to the point where you want revenge on existence itself.

The rest of the daggers: …

Birdie: *furiously taking notes*

[family game night, playing scrabble]

Mouse: I will put down ‘a’ to make ‘a’

Lucky: I will add to your ‘a’ to make ‘at’

Birdie: I will add to your ‘at’ to make ‘rat’

Bob: I will add to your ‘rat’ to make ‘biostratigraphic’

Hangman: *flips table*

Halo: you should treat spiders the same way you’d want to be treated.

Lucky: killed without hesitation.

Cinco: thrown out the window.

Spicy: screamed at.

Halo: no.

Mouse: left alone in the corner to sit in misery.

Phoenix: trapped in a jar to suffocate.

Birdie: drowned.

Halo: No!

Ice: Dragon, Whiskey, your kids are doing it again!

Dragon’s Angels📻: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @gracespicybradshaw @bayisdying @starlit-epiphany @breadsquash

🏷️ list: @luckyladycreator2 @interstellarloneliness @lisedanie

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dopepoisonivyoncrack · 1 year

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IVY!!! ASKIN IN THESE TWO EPISODES!!!

I am holding out a microphone towards you, asking about your current emotions because I am still so in awe. They did right by him

*takes microphone in autopilot mode* *brain loading sign playing*

*clears throat* …yes, I-...will do my best to share a few thoughts despite (please excuse the language) having my last brain cell fuked outta my mind. I am still processing, still recovering. I definitely need to watch it again, and will probably share later opinions with signs of intelligent life form.

I have been waiting for Askin vs. Nimaiya for years. I knew watching it animated will affect me, but nothing could have prepared me for this. The few moans were expected but I was slightly shaking when he started licking the blood off his hand…. That was way more blood than the manga panels could express, the way it was flowing from his temple…

The pharmacology 101 was cut but we got +1 victory +1 death, so I'm good. They did him justice and more.

First, Askin was not dead, even after being cut by Sayafushi twice, without any help from Yhwach. That's just Askin's default power.

2. The moment Nimaiya falls under Askin's domain captures well the terrifying, sickening feeling of being poisoned to death, and likely monstrous spiritual pressure. A reference would be Nanao dying under Yamamoto's SP, or 1st season weak people falling to the ground in Byakuya's captain class presence. But this is a Squad 0 member we talking about here, so Askin is… something.

It's from poisoning not SP, one might say, but Askin's poison works or not, fast or slow depending on the enemy's SP. If it was higher than Askin's, he wouldn't have fallen like that.

Also, it is the same for Askin. I will never get tired of pointing it out. His enemy experiences the debilitating sickness, the excruciating pain, the feeling of dying once, but Askin feels it constantly, and its not pleasant at all. Its why he hates it. Its like not being able to cut the enemy without feeling the sword going through himself. Whatever is killing the other, he feels it himself in terrible detail, but doesn't die, it doesn't end for him.

I didn't expect to see his staff so early on but at least I got to see how he usually uses it. Mister 'I hate close/physical combat'. He might hate violence, but no one could accuse him of not being ready for it…

HE IS SO ATHLETIC!!!! He could win multiple athletic games, as we were shown… archery, running, pole vault, jumps… limbo… and more. There is so much to this man, my head is spinning. And no one suspects a thing because of his 'just some guy' deadly charm…which makes it a deadly charm. The way he was playing Tenjirou too... that jump + arrow in the back was so hot. I love when he is so deadly, efficient.

As for the final addition, of Shutara's custom made death, tailored to each character (fire for Jugram?? Hello??? And reflection for narcissistic Lille?? The very symbol of quincy/Wandenreich for Uryu?!!) I am still going insane about the iron-maiden style for Askin, you know… the famous medieval torture instrument…I-... wow! Yeah, that makes sense… imma go scream now on the roof and start smoking in the rain. Thanks.

This turned quite long, for someone that can barely tie 2 sentences atm. Thank you for your ask, I hope you enjoyed his performance!

#ivy answers #nagumoan #tybw spoilers #Askin the man that you are....#also I don't smoke or drink but the aesth of that now...

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underencumbered · 1 year

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MY GOD I'M A HUGE FUCKING RETARD I ATE ALL THE WEED PEANUT BUTTER CAUSE MY 0 BRAIN CELLED STUPID IDIOT ASS THOUGHT I WAS GETTING HANDED A TINY LITTLE SERVING SIZE THING AND NOW MY FRIENDS HAVE NO WEED AND I'M GONNA BE VERY HIGH PLEASE KILL ME

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schmope-is-dead · 4 years

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ohoho you thought i was dead

6/27/53 - Digory and Steven had gone on a walk, Tom had decided not to go with them. Digory tried to admit his crush on Steven, but found his crush was possessed, and about to be sacrificed to the cult known as The Unknowns. Digory took his place, sort of dying.

6/30/53 - Steven was found by Tom

7/5/53 - The day Tom went looking for Digory, but instead found a knife in his own stomach, placed there by one of the members of the cult known as "Memento Mori." They left him there however, as they had heard footsteps. The footsteps were a distressed Steven, looking for his friends. Steven died, he literally just tripped on a rock and died. Their bodies were soon found later that night.

7/7/53 - Tom's body was stolen by the cult "Memento Mori", of which Tom's mother, Mary, was wrongly accused of doing and put in custody. Tom later woke up in the hive, finding he had been abandoned by the cult there. He had been sacrificed wrong, and was resurrected and had his soul claimed by the voices instead of becoming a sacrifice. He found a bunch of notebooks in the pockets of other bodies in the hive, using them to make his first entry, which was later found by the reporters.

7/12/53 - The local newspaper got a hold of the story. They wrongly assumed Tom had committed suicide, based on the stabs to the abdomen. Tom corrupted for the first time, leaving his body to be marked by Memento Mori with several sigils carved into him, which was later found by reporters. Tom's mother was brought out of custody from this development.

7/13/53 - The article got temporarily moved to the front page, as many readers loved the story. The reporters finally got the okay from the police to show Tom’s diary entry. Digory's body had been moving quite a bit. Digory had little to no control of his body at times, as The Unknowns had gained control.

7/14/53 - The article was brought back to its original page, as parents complained about kids seeing its content. The article didn't have too much, just reporting on what it was able to say.

7/17/53 - Steven's funeral. Later that night, Digory's body went missing. His corpse was found laying by Steven's grave, though locals said he had earlier been sitting at the edge with his eyes glowing. Though the sitting part was true, the glowing eyes part wasn't. Tom found one of the papers and sent a letter to the paper, stating that they should stop immediately, as Tom thought it was inhumane to take pictures of corpses and use them for simple entertainment. He also made a few entries of why he thought the reporters should stop, some never found.

7/19/53 - Tom's funeral. Tom watched this from the forest, he gave up hope of being found. He made a few entries. He also started growing his first set of horns, which came with fairly painful headaches. He thought he was dying and made a goodbye entry, which he later made a follow up one saying "The world hasn't seen the last of Thomas Jones, I can promise you that."

7/20/53 - The article has a sponsor, as the police are starting to monitor what they show, and need some support to still be able to run. Tom burnt down the morgue, taking Digory's body with him. He thought Digory was still alive, and he had hope of everything being normal again. Unfortunately, that led to Digory's body finally dying from smoke inhalation, leaving The Unknowns unable to use it. He woke up in the middle of the night, he felt like he had to go to the hive. He found Digory, dead, and burns on the both of them. Tom assumed this meant he had murdered him and didn't remember, leaving him distraught. He didn't remember committing arson. Tom sent a letter to Digory's family, he was going to send something meaningful, but he could only find himself writing the simple phrase, "Diggy could've lived."

7/21/53 - Tom stole some bandages from the local corner store for his burns, nothing much.

7/23/53 - The reporters turned to radio, as the police were monitoring what they put in the newspaper. They found some of Tom's entries. The reporters were starting to be less down to earth and think of supernatural possibilities of Tom being alive. Tom found a rat, he thought he should keep it, since Digory always liked rats. Of course, the rat was Digory, but Tom didn't know that. Memento Mori found Tom, they thought they should try to befriend him, as they had seen corrupt Tom, and thought they should take responsibility for what they had done. Tom has started leaving his entries in places hard for the reporters to find them, as he quite despised them.

7/25/53 - The news station could only evade the police for so long. This was their last story on the situation, as their audience had been losing interest. Tom was now part of Memento Mori, and he had accepted that as his life from now on.

1985-1989 - Tom tried to rejoin society, with the help of a girl named Roxy. He got a job at a diner, it was nice to be normal for a bit. He went under the alias "Timothy Johnson". He learned how to act like he was from this time, and soon adjusted. With Roxy’s unfortunate death, Tom was so distraught that he resigned from his “normal” life.

2005 - The system starts breaking because Madison is now busy with her children and can't get too many sacrifices, leaving Tom to take care of the sacrifices for her and help the younger members get their sacrifices. This angers the voices, they used to get far more sacrifices. So, they decided to do something about it. They have a member of themselves who's still separate enough to possess someone on their own. The member is Steven, and he possesses Damien. At this point, Steven is aware that he's been tasked with possibly hurting Tom, but since he's only so separate from the voices, when he's not part of them, he starts almost combining with Damien, and grows hatred for Tom. Steven brings Damien back to the Conglour (the Memento Mori house) and pretends everything is normal. Of course, everyone is suspicious, but Steven is just close enough to acting like Damien that people only talk about them between themselves, and don't confront Damien. Madison, being Damien's wife, *was* able to tell however. Steven had been reporting back to the voices every night, how everything was going, how Memento Mori was just weak enough that the voices might be able to escape the hive safely. The only person in the way was Madison. Steven was tasked with murdering her, Damien pleaded with him not to hurt her. Steven ignored Damien's pleads, this was his job, even if it was to murder an innocent girl. Steven took Madison out for a walk into the forest, he brought her to the river. He drowned her. Now, Steven had only been tasked with keeping Tom at bay, to keep him from getting into trouble. After all, he was the voice's lab rat, he was special. But, with Steven's hatred for Tom, he took it too far. He took Tom to the hive and explained himself. Sure, it was a bit of a cartoon villain thing to do, but Steven wanted Tom to know exactly who was killing him. During this, Damien had been trying to separate himself from Steven, and had just enough control to stab himself in the chest. His last words were him telling Tom to tell his children he loved them.

2020 - There were reports of people going missing in the forest. When they were found, their bodies would be mangled in horrible ways, or unconscious. Tom was now the primary caretaker of Ava and David, though he would also help take care of the other kids. Tom was wary of the missing people cases, were the people he cared about in danger? Tom investigated, all of the missing people cases lead to the same clearing in the forest. Tom got possessed. It was a strange kind of peaceful for a moment, it was Digory, he was able to see his best friend again. Digory was.. Confused. The other looked familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He looked over the boy for a few seconds more. Green eyes, a bit more bright than he remembered, but still.. Freckles.. Red hair.. That same smile.. Digory knew who this person was supposed to be, it was his old friend Tom, but they seemed so different. His friend always wore the same sweater, his friend’s hair was always neatly brushed, his friend would always wear brown slacks, Digory didn’t know this person. It must’ve been a weird thing to see a person talking with themselves as if they were two people in the same body, so you must understand when Ava snuck out of the Conglour to find Tom, she was very confused. After that, Digory let go of possessing Tom and instead possessed a rat. Tom brought Ava and Digory back to the Conglour. About a week later, Tom got the idea to bring Digory to the hive to get him his own body so that he wouldn’t have to possess a rat. The voices hate the unknowns, including Digory, so Digory’s body has scars on him and burn marks on his back. The scars were just to remind Digory what they thought of him, but the burn marks were to punish Tom for being friends with one of the unknowns, to remind him what led to all of this.

2021 - Just a break from all the depressing shit, just Tom and Digory being gay

and more to come, please kill me i have severe brainrot

#death tw #suicide tw #please kill me I have 0 brain cells #this is so illiterate please don't read it

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ambidexedition · 4 years

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do my hair toss, check my nails - baby how you feeling? feeling -

overwhelmed

#personal ramblings #colored text #hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i have a week left of school and 0 brain cells left im going to DIE #this assignment is already 2 days lateeeeeeeeee somebody please kill me it would be kinder

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stardew-otter · 2 years

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Stardew Valley Incorrect Quotes but it's mostly the elder trio (Harvey, Elliott, Shane) having one shared brain cell (plus farmer and the others making Harvey panic)

This is so damn long...

Cw for mentions of alcohol and blood

•─────✧─────•

Farmer: So you're sure?

Harvey: Yes, I'm sure.

Farmer: Are you SURE?

Harvey: Yes Farmer, I'm very sure of this.

Farmer: Proof?

Harvey: Well anyone who had common sense knows that getting attacked by several flying lizards while breathing in green smog is very unhealthy and can possibly kill you-

Farmer already pulling our an Oasis Totem: Not convinced *teleports*

Harvey: I- I... Maru get the surgical tools preped again...

─────────────────────

Shane: So let me get this straight.

Shane: You went to medical school for like, 20 years or something

Shane: Just to tell me I need to stop drinking so damn much?

Harvey: Short answer, yes. Long answer, if you stopped drinking you'd be able to stay conscious and coherent enough to remember it.

─────────────────────

Harvey: *just trying to vibe at the Stardrop Saloon*

Shane: *almost unconscious in the corner*

Elliott: *dancing on a table*

Farmer: *is covered in blood and rock dust*

Harvey: ...

Harvey: Gus, cancel the coffee, I'll take vodka instead...

─────────────────────

Harvey: I have passed the transitional stage of being a complete geek.

Harvey: I was entering some thing on the computer at work today, and was putting in the order code for some medications, which is 4040. For some reason the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong, and the screen flashed up "Item Not Found: 404".

Harvey: And I wheezed so loud that Maru throught I got hurt.

─────────────────────

Harvey: Pardon the intrusion, but-

Shane: On this moment or just my life in general?

─────────────────────

Shane, seeing Harvey standing above him in the Clinic: Well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Marnie: *stands next to Harvey*

Shane: Oh shit.

─────────────────────

Harvey: Shane got into another fight...

Elliott: Why, that's horrible!

Elliott: ...

Elliott: Did he at least win?

Shane walking in covered in chicken feathers: DAMN RIGHT I DID!!

─────────────────────

Harvey, sitting on his bed after a long day: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

─────────────────────

Harvey: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.

Elliott, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Shane with cauliflower tied to a string and stick: Hehe-

─────────────────────

Shane: I think I need a hug...

Elliott: Then it's a good thing I'm hug shaped!

*45 minutes later*

Shane: You uh, you can let go now.

Elliott: No, I absolutely can not.

─────────────────────

Shane: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really fucking ugly.

Elliott on the bottom bunk: Screw off Shane.

─────────────────────

Farmer: Every zoo is technically a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Harvey: I’m VERY worried about you.

Shane: Hey, that lion looks pretty friendly and like they need a good pat.

Elliott: Shane no-

─────────────────────

Elliott: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc once again.

─────────────────────

Anyone who meets Shane: Are you this rude to everyone?!

Shane: Yes.

Shane: Don't think you're special because of it, now leave me alone.

─────────────────────

Elliott: *stands in the middle of the ocean with his clothing on*

Harvey: *visibility cringing inwards on the ground*

Shane: ...

Shane: I'm joining him-

Harvey: DON'T YOU DARE-

─────────────────────

Elliott: Hello doctor! I've come to ask for for one of your Fever tests.

Harvey slowly turning around: Fever... test...?

Maru: *audibly laughing from another room*

─────────────────────

Elliott: You know, I learned that urinating on a jellyfish sting can help alleviate the pain it causes!

Shane: So, piss on the jellyfish?

Harvey, who is struggling to not go on a rant about how incorrect that is and why is wouldn't work: Don't piss on the jellyfish please...

─────────────────────

Shane: The doctors can small fear...

─────────────────────

Elliott: You know, chlorine is just pool spice...

Shane:

Shane: Ok that's enough for today-

•─────✧─────•

You can tell I wrote this with very little sleep lol

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv incorrect quotes #stardew valley incorrect quotes #incorrect stardew valley quotes #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sdv shane #sdv farmer #sdv marnie #sdv maru

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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MC is Half Demon and Blah Blah Blah-

Time for the Group Retreat!

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

I’m quite hyped for this one, ladies, gents, and esteemed readers! For simplicity’s sake, since this is before M!MC and A!MC arrive, L!MC will go back to being referred to as just MC. Enjoy the Headcanons!

Since the previous Underground Tomb incident ended much less violently, Lucifer is now more worried than angry about MC’s rampant shennaniganery.

Like... his kid was poking holes in his totally foolproof “Your cow-uncle went to live on a farm in the human world” story. What if MC somehow got into the attic and got hurt?!

It didn’t help that they were still in this weird phase of their father/child relationship. On one hand, Lucifer obviously cares for his kid, and his kid likes him... but it’s also only been less than three months and we all know how emotionally constipated Lucifer is.

MC’s also getting REAL sus of all the secrets their dear old dad is keeping... doesn’t help that they STILL haven’t went up into the attic.

Anyhoo~ the announcement for the retreat was a barrel of laughs.

“I’m proposing, a group retreat!”

Everyone met Diavolo’s announcement with the exact same confused reaction. It’s like the entire assembly hall was doing the ‘Guy Blinking’ meme.

“A... group retreat?” Lucifer repeated slowly. “For what reason exactly, Lord Diavolo?”

The Crown Prince was giddy with excitement as he explained. “MC told me about their middle school overnight trip and it sounded like it would be quite fun!”

Simeon, Luke, MC, and Solomon were all seated next to each other in the ‘exchange student seats of less importance’. Luke leaned over and whispered a question to MC.

“Why are you so friendly with the crown prince?”

MC smirked and shrugged. “Lucifer had the Demon-Flu and couldn’t go meet with Lord Diavolo last week so I went for him. Lord Diavolo’s surprisingly bad at Connect Four but has really good luck in Snakes and Ladders.”

Luke’s jaw dropped in complete and utter shock and horror.

“We’re playing CandyLand and the Game of Life next time, want to come?” MC added.

“Play CandyLand... with him..?” Luke looked at Diavolo, who was still explaining his plan for the retreat, then looked back at MC. “I’ll only go to shield you from his corrupting influence.”

“Yeah... Corrupting...” MC had to hold back a laugh at the thought of Diavolo, who during MC’s visit lit up like a Christmas tree upon being called ‘Dia’ and believed that Mood Rings were the greatest human invention ever, being a corrupting influence.

“MC! Torture dungeon or no!?” MC was snapped out of their conversation by Mammon shouting at them from his seat.

“What?”

“Do ya think there’s a torture dungeon under the castle, or not?”

“I’m not sure,” MC turned to Diavolo. “Lord Diavolo, is there a torture dungeon under the Demon Lord’s Castle?”

There is in fact, no torture dungeon. Presumably...

Everyone packed up and headed out to the Demon Lord’s Castle!

The fabulous seven all broke several speed limits and traffic laws in order to be there early. Listen, they had to get there before Purgatory Hall, it was a matter of pride.

Besides, what’s the Royal guard going to do? Arrest six of the seven rulers of hell and a kid? Ha. No. Not when Diavolo controls their paychecks.

The rooming situation remained the same, Asmo, Simeon, and MC were roomed together, and MC got to watch Asmo get psychologically profiled by Simeon. It was truly a sight to behold.

MC was nice enough to assure Asmo that they really liked him and thought he was very sweet.

Asmo, not used to being complimented on his personality, almost started openly weeping.

So, the tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle began! Asmo got yelled at by his ex in the painting and the usual batch of idiots got sucked into the catacombs under the castle.

Lucifer wasn’t terribly sure how or if he should express his concern for MC being stuck in the labyrinth.

All these new fatherly feelings of worry are very very odd. He didn’t worry this much for Satan, mainly because Satan was usually the threat.

Even as a baby...

Lucifer found himself checking his DDD every few minutes to see if MC had texted or called from wherever the painting dragged them to, never mind that if they did text he’d hear the phone ding.

“Lucifer, don’t worry too much,” Diavolo patted Lucifer on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “Your brothers and MC will be perfectly fine! There’s nothing too dangerous in the catacombs that they wouldn’t be able to take care of.”

Resigning himself to the fact that MC was under the care of his last choices for babysitting, Lucifer put away his DDD. “I know they’ll be fine, but I’m not overly pleased with the situation.” He shot a glare at Helene in the portrait, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Lucifer worrying about someone, I’m truly, genuinely shocked.” Hearing Satan’s attempt at goading him, Lucifer, flawless demon that he is, resisted the urge to throw his DDD at his brother.

“Quiet, Satan.”

————

“WHY THE FUCK IS A SNAKE DOWN HERE?!”

“ITS HENRY 1.0!”

“YEAH THAT REALLY CLEARS STUFF UP, LEVI!”

MC and Levi continued their screaming match as the group ran for dear life from a giant snake.

Yeah... nothing the brothers couldn’t handle... sure, Lord Diavolo...

They made it out of the scary catacombs... don’t worry.

Lucifer did that parent-thing where he cleaned the catacomb dust off MC’s face with a napkin.

Yay! Parenting!

Failed pillow fight attempt #1 happened that evening. Because Mammon was obsessed with being the fun-uncle and saw his brothers encroaching on his place as favourite uncle.

MC doesn’t know how to break it to him that he’ll probably always be the favourite uncle and he doesn’t have to be such a dumbass to keep his spot.

Scavenger hunt went on as canon dictates.

Asmo had his diva tantrum and stormed off, but MC also wanted to win so they didn’t go after him.

Clearly expecting someone to go beg him to come back, Asmo was very annoyed when no one went after him.

“Um, helloooo? Anyone going to comfort me~?”

“Nope.”

“Well I don’t want your comfort anyway, SOLOMON.”

It was very close, L!MC insisted their loss came from sabotage. No evidence was found but just LOOK at Satan’s face.

Time for the Formal Dance~

If you’re wondering why Luke didn’t say anything when MC was suddenly poofed into their demon form, you’re assuming that Mammon wasn’t in on the “let’s prank the chihuahua” plan.

“Mammon..? Is MC behind you?”

“Nope! Why?”

MC was able to get to the other side of the ballroom with Luke none the wiser! Hell yeah, nothing like screwing with your friend!

So it’s canon that Lucifer is like, a solid 20/10, therefore MC is ADORABLE. What I’m saying is, some of the younger demons asked them to dance.

Asmo was also being MC’s hype man, which was very nice of him. Mammon also tried to give advice on how to be cool and suave. Beel was there for moral support.

“Alright kiddo, you need to be aloof and mysterious! People love aloof and mysterious, that’s why I’m so popular.”

“Don’t listen to him, MC. He flew into a wall as a kid and it killed all his brain cells. Just be proper but not snooty, sweet but not saccharine, friendly but not annoying,”

“Ask them if they want to share some of the hors d’oeuvres.”

“Okay, first, aloof and mysterious are the last words I would ever use to describe you, Mammon. Second, Asmo I have no clue what you’re asking me to do. Third... Beel that’s the best advice I’ve received in recent memory.”

None of that mattered anyway because MC got swarmed with dance offers.

“Well,” MC smirked and held out their hand at the demon that was bold enough to ask them to dance first. “I admire the confidence.”

The demon’s smile brightened, then dropped completely when their gaze drifted behind MC. “I uh... on second thought... I’m gonna...”

MC’s potential dance partners all quickly scattered to the snack table. The half demon growled and turned around to see their father acting like he didn’t just scare away MC’s groupies.

“Father! What was that for?!” MC huffed, Lucifer rolled his eyes and grabbed MC’s wrist and began to pull them away from the dance floor.

“You’re too young to dance.”

“That’s crazy! They looked like they were my age.” MC protested, their wings fluttering in annoyance.

“Even if they looked to be your age, MC, they’re hundreds of years older.” Lucifer said calmly.

“What about that equivalent age stuff you told me about? Like how Luke is hundreds of years old but by angel/human standards he’s technically younger than me?”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Lucifer lightly pushed MC towards the hallway that led back to their room.

“But I want to dance with someone!” MC felt their wings involuntarily fluff up.

Lucifer turned and smiled at his dear little brat, crouching slightly to get to their level. “Not on my watch.”

MC’s face was literally this: >:0

Lucifer is out here being the dad in every comedy that involves someone bringing home their partner to meet their parents.

MC was banished to their room, they spent their time angrily reading the manga they had packed.

When Levi escaped the party slightly later MC grilled him for details of what went on after they left.

“Nothing too interesting... except... um...”

“Spit it out, Levi!”

“...lrddiavlondlucferdnced”

“I can’t understand you, stop mumbling.”

“Lord Diavolo and Lucifer danced together...”

“...”

“I MISSED THAT?!”

So yes, MC’s desire to get a picture of Lucifer sleeping stems from VENGEANCE!

How DARE their father send MC up to their room and make them miss their OTP dancing together!?

So they call up their troupe of idiots and get ready to go be menaces to society.

MC also invites along Asmo because he seemed like he could use the adventure.

And because MC couldn’t plan the prank without Asmo noticing so it was better to just implicate him as well...

“Grrr...”

MC brightened and clapped their hands. “I know that growl!”

“It’s not my stomach, I packed snacks.” MC couldn’t see this, considering the room was pitch black (it must’ve been some kind of magic because demons have excellent night vision), but Beel waved a bag of chips in the air and got to eating.

“No, I’m not talking about your stomach, Beel.” MC skipped towards the source of the growling despite Mammon and Levi’s pleas for them to stop.

Ah! There he was!

“Cerberus!” MC cooed, the three headed dog stopped growling and barked happily. “Whose a good boy? Is it you?”

Cerberus let lose a bark that would probably make anyone crap their pants, but MC giggled and kept petting him. “Yeah! You’re the good boy! You like cuddles! Yes you do! Yes you do!”

A flash of light from a camera caused MC to drop their baby talk voice and stare angrily in the direction where the light came from.

“Whoever took that picture better delete it or I’m going to feed you to the dog.”

Cerberus growled in agreement. What a good boy.

“Well, as nice as this is...” Asmo huffed. “We’ve clearly been duped because this is not Lucifer and Diavolo’s room.”

“Oh well!” MC chirped and continued to pet the three headed dog. “Look at the doggy!”

“MC, you’re crazy. Dontcha ever forget that.” Mammon whimpered as Cerberus growled at him.

So yeah, they couldn’t get out of the room, so they ended up opening up the other door and falling into the catacombs like a bunch of lemmings.

Asmo charmed Henry, and they got out of the labyrinth no problem.

Yay! No consequences! Oh no- hi Lucifer.

Lucifer gave them all the mother of all lectures. Satan showed up with the rest of the gang and brought popcorn.

Belphie wasn’t there, okay? Satan needed to be a little shit for him.

Ah yes, the pillow fight... Mammon’s crusade to be the best uncle culminated in a massive pillow fight that ended with MC, Lucifer, and Diavolo standing over everyone’s unconscious bodies.

So they uh... won the pillow fight.

MC couldn’t sleep. They legitimately couldn’t. As exhausting as the pillow fight victory had been, everyone was snoring, and MC was bleary eyed and awake at one in the morning.

They eventually sat up and looked around, Asmo was passed out in a very unflattering position, Solomon was chanting god knows what in his sleep, Levi was half hanging off Simeon’s bed, Simeon and Luke were sleeping like angels (hehehehe-), Beel was in the middle of eating his pillow in his sleep, Mammon appeared to be dreaming about winning the lottery, and Satan was... suspiciously absent.

He was there a minute ago... weird.

Deciding that this wasn’t worth it and they should just go sleep somewhere else, MC got out of bed and avoided stepping on anyone as they vacated the room.

The Demon Lord’s Castle at night could rival the House of Lamentation in terms of overall creepiness. MC had gotten used to the spirits and curses that littered their home, but they had only been to the Demon Lord’s Castle once before, so they were extra careful not to accidentally touch anything. Their stomach rumbled and they frowned.

Damn, they had the midnight munchies... they needed a snack.

MC made their way to the kitchen and on there way, noticed a peculiar room through a half open door. Taking a few steps back to peek into it, they noticed... doors. A lot of doors. And ivy covered steps. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to any of the placements, and the room was... weirdly chilly.

“You can come in if you’d like, MC.”

Barbatos’ voice nearly caused MC to hit a high note that they hadn’t been able to hit since their voice began to change. They straightened out their wrinkled pyjamas and stepped inside.

The butler himself was walking down one of the flights of stairs.

“Um...” Quickly remembering their manners, MC straightened their posture and cleared their throat. “Good evening Barbatos.”

Barbatos smiled and inclined his head in turn. “Good evening to you as well, MC.”

“How did you know it was me outside? You were up there a second ago.” MC asked.

“It’s a part of my powers. I can see possible futures, and I foresaw you passing by my room and getting curious.” Barbatos explained.

“Oh,” MC said, half nodding and continuing to look around. A the sound of a door closing out of MC’s vision made them squeak and look around for the source of the noise. “What was that?!”

“It’s nothing to be worried about.” Barbatos raised his hands in a placating gesture. “These doors in my room are gateways to different timelines and some are gateways into the past of this particular timeline. That was another version of me passing by.”

“Does this... happen often?” MC knitted their eyebrows.

Barbatos hesitated before answering. “Not really. It’s quite rare. Lord Diavolo has expressly forbidden me from using my full powers freely.”

“Ah... makes sense...”

“Now, I believe you came down for snacks?”

MC blinked in surprise. “How did you- oh... the time magic...”

“Yes, the time magic. Now, would you prefer yogurt and fruit, or apples and peanut butter?”

“Yogurt and fruit please!”

I’m sure MC’s knowledge of how Barbie’s room works will totally not come into play later. I’m sure.

Solomon and MC graced the brunch table with their cooking. I think you can guess how it would have turned out if Barbatos hadn’t intervened.

Rest In Peace to Beel’s tastebuds.

Anyway, the rest of the retreat was all fun and good.

MC may or may not have slipped up and called Diavolo ‘Dia’ in front of Lucifer. It would’ve sparked a lecture if Dia’s puppy-like excitement wasn’t so damn adorable.

Lucifer’s got a heart... somewhere... it’s probably all shrivelled up and tiny, but I’m sure it’s there.

Everyone went back home, brought closer together through... pillow fights and surviving Solomon’s cooking I guess..?

Anyway, MC got home, unpacked their stuff, watched Kakegurui with Levi and Mammon, let Asmo paint their nails, made and ate dinner with Beel, continued their piano lessons with Lucifer, and received a 100% fake smile from Satan.

It was a nice day with their new family, MC curled up in their bed and prepared to go to sleep.

“Help me!”

MC lurched upwards in their bed, whipping their head from side to side, trying to find the source of the voice. Their room was completely empty, the perks of being half demon extended to being able to see in the dark. No new smells either, they were alone in the room.

Auditory hallucinations were common before falling asleep after being sleep deprived, creepy, but not too unusual.

“MC!”

Okay- that one couldn’t be ignored. It was common knowledge that the House of Lamentation was definitely haunted in some capacity, but the ghosts never really bothered the demons living inside, MC was partly convinced that some of the ghosts didn’t even notice that the demons were there. So it couldn’t have been a ghost calling their name.

“MC! I need help!”

The voice reverberated through their head, like it was trying to hit every part of their skull to make sure it was at least felt if MC couldn’t hear it. MC massaged their scalp and got out of bed.

The House of Lamentation at night truly lived up to its haunted reputation. Cold, clammy, dark, even by demon standards. No spooky old house was going to scare MC though, they walked down the hall with their head held high.

They walked closer to walls and furniture, knowing that the floor was less likely to creak in those areas. How did they know that? Mammon had told them it worked like a charm. Well, it’d work better for him if he stopped tripping over the furniture and alerting Lucifer.

MC was much more nimble and careful, stepping slowly and lightly around the hallways until they reached the door to the attic. They reached out to clasp their hand around the doorknob, then froze. It smelled like…

Oh no.

MC leapt away from the door like it was rigged to explode if they touched it and practically dove for cover into an alcove. The all too-recent smell of Lucifer’s fancy cologne and the increasing sound of someone coming down the stairs made them clamp their hand over their mouth and crouch down.

What was their father doing up there?

He had said the attic was full of old junk and there was no reason to go up there, so why exactly did he-

The door slammed open and Lucifer stomped down the hallway back towards his room, MC presumed. They were about to let out a sigh of relief when the footsteps paused. MC felt their heart drop right into their gut when they heard the footsteps coming back in their direction.

What were they going to say to him when he found them? ‘Sorry! This isn’t where the bathrooms are!’ The last thing MC wanted was to add to their father’s ever growing list of stresses. MC was totally responsible and grown-up, their father didn’t need to worry.

MC clamped their eyes shut and tried to slow their heart rate. Demons were beings of darkness and shadow, they could blend in quite easily. They took a deep breath, cleared their head, and felt the shadows of the hallway shift and cover them like a blanket.

Lucifer’s footsteps stopped, MC heard a tired sigh, then the footsteps started up again, this time in the direction of his room.

They allowed themselves a sigh of relief before relieving themselves of their hiding space and opening the door leading to the attic staircase.

If the rest of the House of Lamentation was considered clammy, cold, and foreboding, the attic staircase was that multiplied by a factor of twelve. MC felt themselves shudder involuntarily when they stepped closer to the staircase. Every primal part of their brain was telling them to turn around and walk away, but one tiny part was holding them back. They placed their foot on the first step, waiting for any kind of resistance, nothing other than the feeling of passing through invisible cobwebs.

“MC?”

Upon hearing their name, MC craned their neck to try and get a look at what could be waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

“Are you coming, or not?”

The cascade of warning sirens that began to blare in MC’s head went ignored as they continued to scale the staircase.

When they reached the final step, they were met with a long hallway, with a single door on the right side of the wall.

“H-hello?” MC tried to instill some force into their voice, but it still ended up quavering a little.

“Down here.” Someone knocked on the wall next to the door, almost causing MC to jump.

Oh. Oh no. MC stood straight in front of the door, and when they saw who was looking back at them they nearly passed out.

“Belphegor..?”

Belphegor’s eyes flashed as he gave MC a once over. His eyes narrowed when his gaze snapped to MC’s. The analytical expression melted into a lazy grin.

“That’s me,” he said softly. “Nice to finally meet you, MC.”

249 notes · View notes

uswntxfootball · 4 years

Text

we’re just rivals (on the field) (leah williamson x chelsea!reader)

the “epilogue” / part 2 to we should be rivals

of course, the game she decided to come to was this one.

word count: 2418 ish

rated F for fluffy, I for idiocy (or injury), and C for charles.

——

it’s been about two weeks since you showed up to that arsenal game.

and about two weeks since you’ve talked to the english defender.

it wasn’t like you weren’t trying to talk, you just never had the time to.

training had been hectic for the both of you, and it always seemed like one was busy while the other one wasn’t.

“why do you look so blue?”

“jee maybe it’s because i’m wearing a chelsea shirt?”

jessie rolled her eyes before huffing:

“come on y/n you know what i meant.”

“do i?”

“you’re impossible.”

“no i’m y/n.”

“oh my god.”

you let out a loud cackle at jessie’s frustrated cry.

you ran your hands through your hair quickly, letting out a sigh of relief when jessie stopped questioning you.

truth is, you missed leah more than you’d like to admit.

you missed her flirty glances and slightly cocky demeanor, and it began to eat up at you a little bit.

by focusing on the task at hand, which was the upcoming manchester city game, you attempted to distract yourself from it.

it helped a little.

jessie could tell something was up, but after your previous exchange she stopped pushing it (for now) upon seeing your refusal to give in, and partly for the sake of her sanity.

you let out a sigh of relief when the whistle blew, signaling the end of training.

you grabbed your water bottle and jumped when you felt someone slap you on your shoulder.

“okay now spill.”

you turn to see jessie giving you a concerned look, the midfielder’s cheeks red and hair messy from the exertion of practice.

“you look like a sunburnt lion,” you snort, before taking a drink of water.

jessie scoffs.

“lions don’t get sunburnt. i thought you’d know tha-hey!”

jessie lets out a yell of protest when you spray your water in her face.

you shoot her a cheeky grin before making a run for it.

“get back here! y/n!”

on the other side of the spectrum, leah felt the same.

she was however, less of a mess than you, and held it together much better than you did.

you let out a little sigh as you stare at the tv.

there she was in all her glory, fuming and talking to lisa after a game, a sight which you rather enjoyed.

after all, it was kind of hot.

you rewinded that section for a little bit, and nearly shit your pants when you heard the apartment door open.

“hey i brought lunch what are you-“

jessie stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the tv.

she let out a snort when she saw you.

you were crammed behind the couch in a failed attempt to hide yourself.

“watching leah are we?”

you let out a grumble from behind the couch:

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jessie rolled her eyes and you heard a rustle before letting out a yelp of surprise when her bag hits you on your head.

“you bitch you hit me.”

“yeah yeah whatever.”

you wriggle your way out from your “hiding place” and plop down on the couch, still rubbing your head.

“i think you made me lose a bunch of brain cells.”

jessie snorts.

“to lose them you’d need some in the first place.”

you growl and shoot her a glare before crossing your arms and huffing:

“i’m ignoring you now.”

the canadian rolls her eyes and shrugs.

“finally some peace and quiet around here.”

“you’re mean.”

“i thought you were ignoring me.”

“shut up.”

the next game was a tough one.

manchester city was a tough opponent and you’re now realizing why.

it was chelsea’s first game against them since they signed the uswnt players, and good lord have they improved.

you watched from across the pitch as jessie was struggling to get the ball from white, your chest heaving slightly while doing so.

you were already exhausted and it wasn’t even half time yet.

your head snaps up when you see a movement to your right, and you took a quick glance to the stands to see the top of a red jersey peaking out behind a black coat.

that’s all you could see before your name was being called and you turned to receive a pass.

and then you got caught up in the game once again, too busy to realize what it meant.

chelsea went into halftime down 1-0.

your halftime talk was brief, mostly just emma giving quick pointers here and there.

when the talk ended and break finished, you were so determined and focused that you nearly walked into the door frame on your way out of the training room.

the second half was going just like the first.

the possession was deadlocked, opportunities were deadlocked, and if it continued like this manchester city would win.

so you decide to fuck it.

you’re getting this corner kick in no matter what.

as reiten prepared to take it, you positioned yourself right next to the keeper and the post.

just for a moment, you let your eyes drift to the stands, your eyes catching a blonde’s as you do so.

it took you a second to realize who that was.

almost instantly, butterflies tore through your stomach, and you barely miss the whistle signaling the corner kick.

just barely.

now you have to score.

leah’s here.

you have to.

reiten sends the ball into the box, and almost like magic it’s heading for exactly where you’re standing.

you could see roebuck beginning to grab for it, and you didn’t care, you were going for that ball.

just as your head makes contact with it, you hear a resounding crack and yours eyes start watering in pain as you hit the ground.

your hands were covering your face and you could taste blood in your mouth, but you couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

jessie’s hand and concerned voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“hey are you okay? what’s wrong?”

you groaned a little in pain and whispered:

“did we score?”

jessie let out a halfhearted eye roll before saying:

“that’s what you’re worried about? well you scored, but please don’t kill yourself trying to do that next time.”

you let out a soft chuckle before taking jessie’s hand and getting to your feet.

one of your hands were still covering your face, and when you put them down jessie lets out a surprised yelp.

“oh jesus! okay uhm we need a medic here!”

pretty soon you were surrounded by the medical staff, and taking one look at you they ask for a substitute.

there’s a ringing in your ears so you can barely hear snippets of the medical conversation, but you hear enough to know what’s going on.

broken nose. punched in the face by the goalkeeper. need to set it.

it’s when you’re being led off the pitch that you remember about leah.

your eyes widen and you turn to the stands, and you couldn’t tell if it was your angle or not, but you couldn’t see her anywhere.

you shook your head slightly and continued your walk off the pitch.

emma joined you in the room along with a few guys on the medical team, and said:

“listen, we can set your nose now, or we can wait until after the game. we’ll give you a few moments to decide.”

you give a nod and with that everyone left the room.

it was quiet for about a minute before you heard footsteps again.

“hey i haven’t…”

the rest of your sentence gets caught in your throat when you look up.

in the doorway stood the girl who’d been on your mind for the past few weeks, and you blushed a little at the sight.

“um uh i-how are you?” you managed to stutter out.

leah lets out a light chuckle before saying:

“shouldn’t i be asking you that?”

the defender walks up to you and gently places her hands on your cheeks, quietly examining your face.

“well it’s definitely broken,” she mutters softly, and in a sudden jolt of confidence you bring your hand up to cup hers in yours.

leah smiles a little at that and takes your hands down to rest in your lap.

“how did you get down here?”

leah blushes and smiles sheepishly:

“i may have had to sneak around a guard or two..”

“you wanted to see me that badly huh?”

leah gives a slight eye roll at your teasing tone.

“be careful, i could leave at any moment.”

you let out a loud laugh before wincing slightly, the action shooting a fresh wave of pain over your face.

“be careful, don’t want that pretty face to scar,” leah says teasingly.

“why would you like me less with a scar?”

“well i didn’t say that.”

you try to wink, only getting halfway before wincing in pain again.

it’s now that emma walks back in with the medical staff, who looks up in surprise when she sees leah.

“we can’t have visitors here-“

“have her stay.”

“y/n we really can’t-“

“nope she’s staying.”

your coach lets out a defeated sigh.

“fine.”

and you hear her mutter something that sounds like:

“i don’t get paid enough for this.”

leah shot you a look before letting go of your hand, much to your dismay, and moved to a spot next to you, out of their way.

“so y/n, did you decide t-“

“set it now.”

emma gives the medical staff a thumbs up and the go ahead and glances quickly at you and leah with an expression of oh look, more gays, before heading out back onto the pitch.

a gruff voice focuses your attention back to the foreground.

“alright y/n, my name is charles, and i’ll be setting your nose today.”

you give an attempt at a snort, and wince before saying:

“sounds like you’re my waiter or something.”

charles gives a hearty chuckle, and as he examines your face says:

“this one’s got a sense of humor huh.”

you let out a wink in leah’s direction before saying:

“oh you know it.”

charles turns with his back to you, looking through his equipment bag and says:

“okay this might hurt a bit, so i recommend grabbing something, not me preferably.”

“do people do that?”

charles turns to you with a bit of tape and gauze in his hands and places them on the table beside you.

“like you wouldn’t believe.”

you let out a laugh.

“alright let’s get this over with.”

“okay then, since they still have a game going on, please try not to yell.”

you felt his hands on your face and you braced yourself for it.

“alright ready? on the count of 3.”

“1.”

“2.”

your hand shot out in leah’s direction and the defender took it without hesitation.

“3.”

charles moved his body with his hands and the pain was almost instantaneous.

still, you gritted your teeth as your eyes start to water, not noticing how tightly you clamped onto leah’s hand.

it’s only after when charles is wrapping your nose that leah whispers:

“i know we play football but i kind of still need my hand.”

“sorry,” you mutter, relaxing your grip, and at the same time refusing to let go of her.

“all righty! took it like a champ, you didn’t even yell.”

you shrug before saying nonchalantly, “yeah i’m not much of a screamer.”

you grinned cheekily when you notice leah’s eyes widening and cheeks reddening.

as charles was packing up his stuff, he asks:

“so is this your girlfriend?”

it was silent for a few seconds, and charles turns to look at the two of you.

“i’m sensing like a we’re friends but we flirted a bit and now we don’t know where we stand kind of a vibe.”

you and leah speak at the same time.

“yeah.”

“exactly.”

charles picked up his bag and said:

“i figured. anyways you guys look cute together, and i’m gonna go back to the game now.”

and with that said, he gave you a little wave and walked out of the room.

“well he was fun, i liked him,” you said to leah, who smiled and nodded a bit in agreement.

the two of you chatted about meaningless things for a little while, before you shot up suddenly and pulled her with you.

“come on, let’s get out of here.”

leah scrunched her eyebrows up in confusion.

“where are we going?”

you grin at her.

“well i promised i’d take you on a date if you came to my game didn’t i?”

leah’s cheeks flush a little and she says:

“w-“

jessie’s voice cuts leah’s response short.

“y/n! how are you doin-oh.”

the canadian’s eyes flickered between your face and leah’s face, before moving towards your joined hands.

a teasing smile made its way onto her face and before you could stop it, jessie stepped forward and began talking to leah.

“hey, i’m jessie, also y/n’s best friend, you must be the one who-“

you let go of leah’s hand and cut in with a pitiful attempt to stop her from talking.

“NOPE I’M GOING TO LEAVE IM-“

leah crossed her arms and watched the two of you with an amused smirk plastered on her face.

“got y/n, a diehard chelsea fan i tell you, to-“

“NOPE NOPE NOPE JESSIE LETS NOT-“

“buy an arsenal jersey. yours to be exact.”

you groaned and your face flushed red with embarrassment, closing your eyes and turning to face the wall.

you spun around and took leah’s hand, dragging her out of the room while flipping off jessie.

you hear jessie yell from behind you:

“love you too y/n!”

it’s when the two of you made your way out of the stadium when she says:

“so an arsenal jersey huh?”

your cheeks flush redder and you mumble:

“shut up.”

“i’ll bet it looks great on you,” leah added with a wink.

“it’ll look even better on your bedroom floor,” you retort.

leah’s eyes widened a little as her face became blood red.

“what?”

you grin cockily.

“nothing!”

leah just looked at you in utter disbelief.

#leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #engwnt x reader #engwnt imagine #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc imagine #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines

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worstloki · 4 years

Text

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material.

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that.

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss.

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment.

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye.

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me.

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie.

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses.

#listen #if people can interpret loki and the grandmaster as a thing when loki spends the entire time looking uncomfortable about every situation #then i can interpret thor as flirting with people when there are actual canon questions which get solved when other explanations dont work #so #dont mind me here #in conclusion: thor is a dum dum idiot and it's *chef's kiss*#thank you for coming to my ted talk #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #Language!#language #im one of those people who comments on things through movies but you can't be mad because it's worth it and i've got points #obviously writing means i can get the full gist of the comments out without summarizing #but #like #my family is simply underappreciative and i'm a genius

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tal-yadin · 2 years

Text

Ok as promised: an actual post about this rollercoaster of an episode!

Got long again (this is becoming a trend):

I'd like to preface this by saying that there was a lot of stupid shit that happened in this episode that i am fully aware was narratively required. Which doesn't mean i'm not going to complain about it (complaining about stupid shit is good for the soul i'll have you know), it just means that those complaints should be taken in the spirit that they were meant - i mean if you're not complaining about the stupid shit, are you really watching the show? :P

Now that that's out of the way, Onwards!

We pick up in this episode right where we left off - thank god - and while not it's not exactly a smart decision, porsche choosing to go with vegas is very in character for him. The fact is, vegas really hit the nail on its head, because porsche would have absolutely gone nuts having to sit in that cell and do nothing while shit was going down.

The next sequence is both one of my favorites in this ep and the one that's at the top of my stupid shit list.

Pete and porsche's fighting was so so good, like that was some grade A choreography and camerawork right there. I enjoyed the hell out of watching my best boys go tow to tow.

My main is issue is how exactly did vegas get out???! Kinn was RIGHT THERE!! did vegas run right past him?? Was ken waiting in the hallway with a convinient laundry basket for vegas to dive into?!?!? I just don't understand *sigh* at this point i'm about ready to accept that vegas is capable of straight up turning invisible. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Kinn and porsche facing off was a good tension moment. Porsche has made his choice and now kinn's gotta make his. Again, we later found out it wasn't a very smart choice (kinn could have just explained what was going on to porsche), but please refer back to the first paragraph because this definitely falls into the category of narratively required. It's also not entirely out of character, which helps a lot, kinn's braincells have a notoriously bad track record where porsche is concerned (put simply, my boy kinn is Whipped and i don't even blame him).

Smash cut to the absolute cutest pairing in this show! They are Cuddling on the Couch, this not a drill!! Hdbfjddnxb

Naturally, things goes to shit immediately, which is just par for the course. Kim kicking ass trying to save chay? Absolute gold. Strange men touching my BABY???! how fucking dare you?! 0/10 would not recommend! I can't believe we didn't even get to see porsche just absolutly whale on tawan for laying hands on chay, what a fucking letdown >:(

Meanwhile we have ken being the mole, i kinda figured as much from pretty early on cause he was important enough for us to know him but peripheral enough that he could have been getting up to all sorts of stuff off screen.

The warehouse scene was vegas' time to shine this episode and let it be known that they managed to actually throw me off with the way the plot went. Like i was thinking, vegas had a choice to make, reveal himself to keep tawan on his side or keep the game going for porsche's benefit. my boy chose neither, he was really like "i'm tired of being nice i just wanna go apeshit" and then HE DID. Give the man bonus points for the fucking performance, my poor little meow meow killed his villain reveal moment.

Now that flashback. That Flashback.

Let me tell you, vegas has never been so fucking chilling in all of his time on the screen as he was in that fucking flasback (No. Not even in his big torture scene, you'll see why, we'll get there). That motherfucker is so so good at playing sincere. He's such a fucking snake, i was quaking in my motherfucking boots ok?

There is one other thing that flashback did to me and that was hit me with bible's actual, physical size, like steel chair to the back. Look, i knew, in my brain, that bible is a little shorter than build (from interviews and stuff) but build has delicate features and often wears baggy clothes that make him look smaller, so it's easy to dismiss the difference as not big.

I also knew that bible is shorter than apo and less broad, because we have several shots in the show that show us as much, but here we run into the inescapable fact that apo is fucking built, like, my boy is a big dude. They try to disguise it a little in the show, with staging and camera angles, but the most helpful thing is the fact that mile (who he's on screen with the most) is about his size - slightly shorter but it's a very small difference - so bible being smaller is kind of a given.

And then there's na (tawan) who is about the same height as mile, and about as broad (again they resorted to clothing and staging tricks to make him look slimmer) but did you see the flasback??? He was Dwarfing bible.

When tawan was hugging vegas from behind?? Bible looked tiny.

Tinnie tiny bible.

What the FUCK? That realization killed me dead let me tell you. Ok now that i'm done freaking out over the size of these actors let's get back to the actual episode.

Kim coming to chay's rescue was so good, and that outfit? Mmmm top notch.

Big my baby no TAT i know the man was an incurable ass, but i liked him anyway. nodted my beloved was acting his little heart out in his final scene, and fuck if he didn't nail it.

Tawan losing his shit was well done, in general na really did an awesome job as a villian, like tawan was clearly having a blast and his infatuation with vegas was portrayed really well.

Interesting that this is the first time we've seen kinn smoking, in the aftermath of this clusterfuck of a day, which, you know, fair.

Kim my sweet emotionally constipated dumbass has dipped as soon as chay woke up - hope he gets better soon (he won't, he's in love and there's no getting away now).

Chay being angry at porsche is heart wrenching but reasonable (i'm not crying you're crying shut up).

And now to The Scene, that we have all been waiting for :D

Listen, build stole the fucking show in this scene in a major way. Like, i said earlier that vegas was at his most chilling in the flashback? it's because in this scene he's standing opposite pete, who was absolutely, balls to the wall terrifying ok?

Build just fucking killed it. the genuine amusement at vegas' temper about his plan failing, the eye contact, the screaming, like i'm sorry, but vegas paled in comparison.

Pete is now the freak king of this show and i would like to see someone try and take his throne.

(That entire scene was the definition of "mark me down as scared and horny". It did things to me ok? don't judge me)

Ken dying was unexpected, despite the bloodbath that this episode has been. Gun (pretty sure that's the spelling for his name?) was nice to see on screen, it's been a while. Perth did a really good job in that final scene as well.

I knew the head was coming as soon as they put the box on the table but props to tong for giving us an exteremely convincing reaction for tankhun, who might be getting more involved in the family business, but is still comperatively sheltered.

Also it's nice to know that vegas learned his snake tendencies from his dad.

Korn kinda disappointed me cause it would have been something to watch him shoot someone point blank in the head (the old lion has still got teeth), but i'm gonna go ahead and assume that they need gun to move the plot along.

The thing on the balcony was a nice back and forth, a little more realistic standpoint of the relationship than the honeymoon phase in episode 8, and we got the infamous bed scene *thunderous applause*

Kinn forgetting pete is also in the stupid shit category, but again, narratively required.

All in all i had lots of fun with this episode and i can't fucking wait for the next one.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche ep 10

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hufflautia · 3 years

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Among Us

Warning: Suggestive themes as the story progresses, but nothing explicit.

Summary: Hufflepuff and Slytherin are playing Among Us with Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. The grudge Slytherin holds against Gryffindor prevents him from pinpointing the true imposter in their midst.

Emergency meeting!

Slytherin rests his knuckles against the cafeteria table as he leans forward.

“Found Ravenclaw’s body in electrical,” he says solemnly.

Gryffindor narrows his eyes.

“You probably self-reported.”

“Wha—did not!”

He arches an eyebrow. “Then how did you find Raven?”

“I was rerouting power to communications,” Slytherin retorts. His voice is deadly calm but he’s shooting daggers at him from across the table.

HuffPuff has voted. 2 remaining.

“Hold up,” Gryffindor folds his arms while eyeing Slytherin suspiciously, “how did you even know it was Ravenclaw’s body? Did you see her and think ‘Oh, look! It’s Ravenclaw, the innocent person I murdered a few minutes ago. Since no one found her yet, I’m gonna sit here for a bit and stare at her as a creepy person would. Aw geez! I should probably report the body now because someone might catch me’?”

Slytherin scoffs. “That’s not how I talk—”

“Any normal person would’ve seen the body and immediately reported it. They wouldn’t have time to identify who it was—”

“I saw a flash of blue right before I reported,” he interrupts. “Any person with at least one brain cell would’ve known it was Ravenclaw. Besides, she’s the only person who isn’t here right now.”

Gryffindor still looks unconvinced, and Slytherin rolls his eyes.

“What, do you expect me to think it was Hufflepuff’s body? Hufflepuff,” he gestures, “who’s standing next to me right now with a yellow suit?”

Gryffindor opens his mouth to respond when Hufflepuff, who has remained silent until now, speaks up.

“Guys, stop arguing and just vote.”

Slytherin purses his lips and looks like he wants to continue bantering with Gryffindor. He glances at Hufflepuff, who is intently staring at him.

Please, her eyes seem to say.

He swallows his anger, albeit reluctantly, and nods.

Snek has voted. 1 remaining.

Gryffinroar has voted. 0 remaining.

No one was ejected. (Tie)

Slytherin shoots one last withering look at Gryffindor before walking away. Both of them head off in opposite directions, too frustrated with each other to question why Hufflepuff voted so early.

Ghost Ravenclaw watches as they leave the cafeteria.

Y’all stupid, she sighs.

Gryffindor is walking in the hallway leading to Storage. He turns the corner and doesn’t notice Hufflepuff, who’s loosely trailing him. She hurries to catch up with him when she is suddenly pulled into Admin. A hand clamps over her mouth before she could scream, and she struggles against the unknown figure.

“It’s alright, it’s just me!”

She freezes—she knows that voice. They finally release her from their grip, and she spins around.

“Slytherin,” she shouts in a whisper. “What the hell!”

Slytherin suppresses a laugh. He’d probably earn a punch in the arm if he didn’t.

“Did I startle you, my love?”

“Yes,” Hufflepuff glares. “You would be startled too if someone randomly grabbed you from behind.”

“Well, you have nothing to fear,” he pulls her into a hug. “It’s only me.”

Still irked, she stiffly leans into his embrace. However, it only takes a matter of seconds for her to give in, and she wraps her arms around him.

Slytherin draws back far enough to look at her.

“You have to be careful. Gryffindor is probably the imposter, so you should stay with me.”

“Shouldn’t we call a meeting if he’s the imposter?” she says with a frown.

“If we eject him now without any evidence, he’s gonna say we didn’t play fairly. Let’s stay together so we can catch him red-handed if he tries anything.”

Her brows knit together, and she seems hesitant. Slytherin notices, but her reluctance disappears as quickly as it arrives.

“Okay,” she takes his hand. “If you say so.”

He gives her a small smile before leading her to MedBay, where his next task is. After he submits his scan, he turns to face Hufflepuff.

“My last task is in Shields and then I’m finished,” he says. “What about you?”

“I’m already done.”

“Ok, good. C’mon, let’s go before Gryffindor finds us.”

He begins to head out.

“Wait!”

Hufflepuff steps between him and the exit. He stops, surprised.

“Wait,” she says again but calmer this time. “Can we stay here for a bit?”

“What for?”

“...I wanna hang out with you.”

Slytherin looks at her like she grew two heads.

“Why?” he asks.

“Why not,” she pouts. “Is it wrong to wish to spend time with you?”

“Of course not, but now?” he arches an eyebrow. “When we’re so close to winning this thing?”

“I know, I just…”

He stares at her expectantly, waiting.

“...I miss you.”

There is a mixed expression of amusement and confusion on his face.

“You miss me,” he repeats.

“I do. And I know it’s silly because you’re right here, but I feel like we barely get any alone time.”

Slytherin cocks his head.

“I think we get a fair amount of ‘alone time’ every now and then.”

She crosses her arms.

“Not really,” she replies sullenly. “There’s always some sort of interruption. Whether it be homework or Quidditch practice or just anything at all, something always seems to get in the way.”

He frowns. Now that he thinks about it, Hufflepuff makes a good point. When was the last time they were alone with no distractions whatsoever?

“You’re right,” he takes her hands, “and I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner.”

A smile adorns her lips.

“It’s okay. At least we’re alone now.”

With the tip of her finger, she begins to draw lazy circles on his chest.

“With no one else around,” she drawls. “No interruptions.”

Slytherin can’t hide his grin as he hooks his forearm behind her waist to pull her closer.

“I guess my task can wait.”

Hufflepuff ends up pressed against the wall with Slytherin kissing her like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. She clutches his suit tightly as if she is worried he’ll let go, but he doesn’t. In fact, he isn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

He bites on her bottom lip and swipes his tongue over to soothe the sting, drawing a whimper from her. He pulls back, feeling a swell of pride when he sees her kiss-swollen lips.

“Do you wanna stop?” he murmurs.

Hufflepuff shakes her head and licks her lips, drawing his attention to them again.

“I want you,” she whispers, brushing her thumb against his cheek. “Please.”

Slytherin smirks. How could he refuse when she asked so nicely?

Slytherin zips up his suit and turns to Hufflepuff, who just finished dressing.

“How are you feeling?” he says, walking towards her. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Of course not,” she gives him a soft smile, “you could never hurt me.”

“I know,” he snakes an arm around her waist. “Just checking in.”

“Well, I’m perfectly fine, so you have nothing to worry about,” she beams.

Slytherin kisses the bridge of her nose when he feels the outline of something on her back. He scrunches his eyebrows together.

“What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“That thing in your suit.”

Not waiting for a response, he slips his hand through the opening of her unzipped suit and begins feeling around for the object.

Realization strikes her, and she tries to step back.

“It’s nothing—”

But it’s too late because Slytherin’s hand brushes against the handle of the item, and he tilts his head.

“That’s weird,” he says. “It feels like a…”

He pulls it out, and his eyes widen.

“...knife.”

Hufflepuff grabs the knife from him in a hurry and tucks it back into her suit, but there’s no use in trying to hide it. Slytherin has already seen the weapon.

His eyes cloud with confusion. He staggers back when it finally clicks.

“You’re the imposter.”

She gulps, knowing that it’d be useless to try denying it.

“I am,” she says quietly.

Her heart aches—Slytherin looks even more betrayed at the confirmation. She swallows the lump in her throat.

“If you hadn’t stopped me from going after Gryffindor,” she begins, “none of this would’ve happened. Believe me, I didn’t plan for things to go this way. I tried to go after Gryff instead, I even suggested ejecting him! But you wouldn’t let me, you kept…” She bites the inside of her cheek, finding it hard to speak under the scrutiny of his gaze. “...you kept getting in my way.”

“So now it’s me,” he says in an icy voice. “It’s me who will die.”

Hufflepuff winces at his words and droops her head in shame. Slytherin uses her brief lapse of concentration to make a run for the exit. He is startled when the doors lock on their own.

“Even if you manage to make it out, you won’t be able to press the emergency button.”

Slytherin whirls around to face Hufflepuff, who approaches him slowly with a dismal expression.

“I’ve initiated a reactor meltdown. Gryffindor isn’t gonna find you in time. He’s probably too busy trying to fix the sabotage.”

His eyebrows furrow as he soaks in the truth of her words.

“Even then,” she continues, “you need two players to do that.”

Fuck. When did Hufflepuff get so sly? She always had the potential to be crafty, which is what drew Slytherin in when they first met in detention. He soon realized that though she can be sneaky at times, she values kindness above all else, and he finds that to be very endearing. But, in the few instances when she is sneaky, Slytherin wants nothing more than to pull her into an empty classroom and—

Stop! he mentally scolded himself. Why are you thinking about that when Hufflepuff is literally about to kill you right now?! But fuck, is she gonna look hot doing it—

His thoughts freeze when she draws out her knife. He backs away as she walks towards him.

“Let me go,” he pleads. “I can help you win this. We can work together!”

Hufflepuff shakes her head solemnly.

“I know betraying Gryffindor sounds appealing to you. But you love winning even more. Who’s to say you won’t betray me?”

He swallows with difficulty. She knows him too well.

Dread runs through his veins when his back meets the wall. She corners him. Her face scrunches up like she’s racked with guilt for what she’s about to do.

“I have to end this now,” she says, her voice thick. “I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

Slytherin stares into her eyes.

“Would you kill me, my love?” he whispers.

Hufflepuff holds his gaze.

“For victory? Without question.”

Defeat.

HuffPuff was The Imposter.

Play Again?

Inspired by @hogwartslastbraincells’s glorious incorrect quote post!

Check out my masterlist! | Comments and reblogs are appreciated <3 If you prefer to stay anonymous, the anon option for asks is available!

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Today’s my birthday, so I decided to post something. I had been meaning to write this for a long time, but I never got around to it until now and I’m quite proud of how it turned out! I like playing Among Us—I get so nervous when I’m the Imposter lmao

Here’s a deleted scene! Warning, it’s pretty nsfw. The scene is after huff is like “hey we’re alone”:

He begins kissing every inch of her exposed skin while unzipping her suit. Her eyes flutter shut when his lips pay special attention to her neck, and she lets out a breathless moan. He suddenly freezes.

“Why’d you stop?” she breathes.

When he doesn’t respond, she opens her eyes to see that he’s staring at her body with a shocked expression—and it isn’t the good kind of shock. She looks down and realizes with horror that the knife she had hidden within her suit is now revealed.

I changed this to what the scene is now because I wanted to keep it lowkey and make it less nsfw. I cut the official scene off with “How can he refuse when she asks so nicely?” so that there’s no explicit content and the gap between that line and the scene afterward suggests that they did the dirty.

Speaking of explicit, I’m gonna write a “bonus” fic that fills in the blank of what happened. It’s litcherally just gonna be smut. So, the beginning of the fic will be similar to that of the deleted scene; the difference is that Slytherin doesn’t find the knife and they simply continue. I lowkey deleted that nsfw scene and created a gap so that I could write a bonus fic that goes in-depth. Didn’t wanna scar anyone who doesn’t wanna read smut so I purposefully left out what happened. Those who do want to see what happened after can read the bonus fic when I post it sometime in the future.

I’m not sure what my schedule for fics will be. I’ll likely be studying for the AP exams, so I might just disappear for a bit. However, I have some ideas for drabbles and ficlets, and those types of fics usually don’t take me very long to write, so I might post them sometime in the future so that I’m not completely inactive.

MEME TIME ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also, this:

HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LMAO

After seeing the incorrect quotes post and deciding to write a fic inspired by it, I planned on doing the color word thingie that @hogwartslastbraincells had done. I searched up the code for the hogwarts houses colors and tested it out in a draft, and I just left it there for future reference. I can not tell you how relieved I am to finally get rid of the draft after seeing it for so long.

Well, that’s it for me. I don’t have much else to say other than the fact that today ez a happy day for me. Technically, today’s not my birthday because I’m writing this in advance, but the day that you’re reading this—if you’re reading this the day that I post—is indeed my birthday! Not sure what my plans for the day are (well, my family’s plans to be exact), but I’m sure they’ll be fun :D

Thanks for reading! Until next time <3

Tags: @slytherpuff-shenanigans @axieleration @sunnniiee @determinedpines @zenobiagrace @asterinflower @cinnamon-roll-unicorn @mossy-axolotl @dumbbitch11 @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @notsowiseravenclaw @arianatorpotterhead @luciferswife16 @walkinganomaly @asunshinepuff @lewispoolerpayton @adreameratdawn @thewitcheswords @oncergleekpotterhead @princessstoopid @stardustzainy @flvrqnce @multi-fandom-nutjob @eunnieah @iamahufflepuff @1hufflepuff @introvertedrae @princessstoopid @jasminedayz @magnoliamermaid @HOPEFUL-HUFFLEPUFF-PEEVES @peanut-in-the-goal @pufflehuff929 @sophiexteresa @da-fox-rangerrr @dawinehouse @shipping-book-keeper @xxavaloraxx @silverhetdanes @im-a-solanum-lycopersicum @elegantcroissantplaidpony @theoriginaljohnwatsonsblog @theoriginalsherlockholmesblog @vickeyunicorn @arianatorpotterhead @hmilkwhoney @simpering-simpleton @grandcyclecreation @sweetinvisiblewriter @marvelenthusiast10 @mvlpksvthisht @qiaopa @beardedhumanoid @jadefox05 @justanotherperson @inkedintothepaper @minty-malfoy @trippy-morgan @fangirlgeekandfreak @boilyourteeth @absentmindeduniverse @colettedelaurel @halfelven1 @happy-puff @coloring-bud @in-love-with-remus-lupin @autumnpleaves @crakencc @flyme--tothemoon @hedgepuffgirl @littleemotionalpanda @pancakes-and-sugar @korra4321 @aquietkindofthunder @qixnsriess @porksoba @thatfann @hellounicorn @i-have-a-bad-feeling @aasa2102 @zuko-28 @annie-mcl @clementines-x @writtenfoxscreams @randomwriter23 @cryingabtwandavision @coolninjavoid @urfaveslytherin @malfoys-demigod @tumlbr-trasher @violayaxley @wolfpack-arts-industries99 @zainieees-stuff @milk-leaves @priii @capt-sparrow @blueberry-9-pancakes @stressy-depressy

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fubukiswifenoimnotjoking · 3 years

Text

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

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8uggestionamplifie6 · 3 years

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I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

#star wars #sw anakin #anakin skywalker #padme lives au #padme amidala #leia skywalker #luke skywalker #Im not sure if anakin and padme would be good parents #like its possible but realistically? I dont think theyd be good parents #like anakin will probably be kicked out of the order (because he married a senator AS A JEDI and didn’t think to leave)#he just ruined the Order's stance on remaining neutral bc now people are gonna ask if they were neutral to naboo #the political ramifications for it is insane so check out my account bc i got a post about it #anakin would likely never learn how to love UNpossessivly and become a helicopter parent #and padme wouldnt stop him because . she already make a shit ton of excuses for him in aotc when anakin #murks innocent CHILDREN and she's like <; he JUST MURDERED PEOPLE AND ITS OK????#padme is an enabler for the most part and i know she would not stop anakin if he became a helicopter parent when she already doesn't care #leia and luke would grow up in such a toxic environment #yes you dont have to agree but just think about it logically #anakin already don't know how to love securely/unpossessively and if he leaves the Order #he still aint gonna learn and padme aint gonna reign him in #i feel so bad for luke and leia. at least in OT they had good parents #Bail is Best Dad^tm #Obi-Wan you gotta sue this couple and take them kids away. You Bail and Breha can keep'em. Y'all better at being parents #which is weird cause none ya got kids but thats okay luke and leia can be your kids #obi wan kenobi

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