#plus one clown free pass

[fivekrystalpetals]

I find it really funny that Dazai has, if my memory serves me right, has swore only two times in the whole manga (he seldom swears even at his enemies, he an annoyingly polite boy) and both times coz of Fyodor... like this man made Dazai-annoy-everyone-around-me-to-death-Osamu go WTF at his antics

I bet if Fyodor drops his mask of the perfectly-in-control mastermind and let loose, he's gonna be weirder than Dazai + Gogol combined. Sigma hasn't seen the worst of this gang yet...

[hanggarae]

now i’m next to you ..

florist!jeonghan x f!surgeon!reader, 5.3k words fluff, angst, reader’s family sucks, hurt/comfort, slow burn (?), mentions of surgery obviously, a little suggestive right at the end, part of waves will take us away series !

being a surgeon was no doubt tough, and you definitely found the work rewarding enough as it is, but the mysterious flowers left on your desk (a scribbled heart in place of a name of who it’s from) are definitely a plus too

“hi mrs park, this is the bouquet you wanted” jeonghan smiled at the elderly lady, as far as he knew, she was visiting her granddaughter that had recently given birth, “congratulations, for you and your granddaughter”

“oh thank you jeonghan! you’re always such a kind young man, sometimes i wish i had someone like you in my family” jeonghan laughed happily at her comment, cheeks flushing a cool pink. he was somewhat used to it at this point but it always made him sheepish.

jeonghan owned a flower shop that was a ten minute drive from the hospital. because of this, he got orders often delivered there. he knows he could just hire someone to do deliveries, it’d make things a whole lot easier for him, but the feeling of being able to do this for people himself always leave a warmth in his chest, especially when they pass him later to say how much they loved his flowers.

“hey jeonghan!” jeonghan looked around to find seungcheol and joshua waving him over, he smiled before walking to meet them.

“another order?” seungcheol asked taking a sip of his coffee.

“yep, you guys on break?”

“uh huh, and before you ask, no yn isn’t. she’s in the surgery room right now” joshua told him, a small smirk tugging at his lips, a matching one working it’s way on seungcheol’s too.

“shouldn't you both be texting your girlfriends or something?” jeonghan groaned, “thanks for stealing my two best friends by the way, really appreciate it”

“look maybe that’s what you need to finally make a move on yn. you’ve been trying to for what? ten months?” seungcheol told him pointedly.

“nine months and eighteen days, but hey who’s counting?” jeonghan deadpanned, “besides, what makes you guys think i even want to date yn? huh?”

his two friends stared at him unimpressed for a few seconds. he’d spent the better part of the last year sticking around the hospital longer, even if his deliveries were done, just so he could spend a little more time with you.

“okay i do want to date her.. but that’s got nothing to do with you two clowns!” jeonghan hissed. “and the two of you better not say anything because she’s headed here right now” speeding up when he caught sight of you. “yn! hi! how’ve you been?” a smile plastering on his face automatically.

you smiled at this sight of jeonghan with your two work friends, joining them quickly.

“jeonghan hi! i’ve been good thanks, just a stressful day, how about you?” you smiled at him, the stresses of the day melting away with ease.

“stressful?” jeonghan frowned. it was clear from your voice how the day had taken a toll on you, “good thing i know the perfect thing for you when you’re stressed! are you free right now?” he whispered the last part to you, grinning when you nodded, immediately dragging you somewhere.

jeonghan had taken you to his car, ensuring you the entire way that it’d be worth while.

“okay, close your eyes” jeonghan cooed causing you to roll your eyes, making an exaggerated show of covering your eyes with your palms. “you can open them now”

when you opened them, jeonghan held a beautiful small bouquet of jasmines in his hands toward you. “they’re known to be stress reliefs, thought you might like them”

jaw slightly agape, you stared at jeonghan in awe for a few seconds, “they’re so pretty jeonghan, thank you” you told him gratefully taking the flowers from his hands. slowly, the guilt started to creep up in you, “but really- you didn’t have to! here let me pay you-”

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it. i hope you like them yn” he told you warmly, fondness swimming in his eyes.

clearing your throat you told him it’s about time you head back in, the both of you walking back to the hospital together. when you went back to your office, jeonghan headed back to his two friends.

“guys this sucks” he told them dejectedly, frown pulling at his soft features. “she’s totally not into me. like at all”

“han, you’re being dramatic. she definitely likes you, she literally always waits for you to get here” joshua reassured him, rubbing a hand on his shoulder for good measure.

“no shua you don’t get it! she likes me but just as a friend- which i’m okay with don’t get me wrong, but i know she doesn’t like me that way and-”

“dude you sound like you’re in middle school, just ask her out and if she says no she says no, nothing you can do about that” seungcheol told him calmly, taking a sip of his coffee.

jeonghan glared at him before hitting the back of seungcheol’s head (not too hard but it still made seungcheol whine). “you’re in no position to tell me anything mr waited three months to confess to his patient and was the reason she almost had a broken leg forever”

“you can’t talk either mr fake dated a girl and couldn’t confess for two months because he was too scared” jeonghan said pointedly to joshua after hearing his laugh, “neither of you are in any position to say that i should just ask her out and that it’s simple”

joshua laughed at his friend’s pout once again before patting his back before he and seungcheol headed back to work.

“so just take it easy until the next appointment and then we’ll see what needs to be done from there” you smiled at your patient. she was a high school student and had a surgery for her elbow. “it’ll take roughly 6 to 8 weeks to heal fully but it all just depends on your body’s ability. take it easy at rehab too, don’t push yourself too much alright?”

“got it, thank you so much doctor” the young teenager smiled at you. she laid back against the headboard of the hospital bed while she waited for her parents to come pick her up in an hour, her eyes drifting around the room and landing on the bouquet of jasmines you left by your computer.

“those are really pretty” she said, you followed her eyes to see she was talking about the flowers jeonghan had given you earlier.

you laughed a ‘thank you’ before thinking for a few seconds, “i’ll be right back, just press the button if you need anything, okay?”

when you were out of the room you quickly pulled out your phone, fingers searching for jeonghan’s contact. “hey jeonghan, is it alright if i can place an order really quick? this high school girl just had a surgery and i was wondering if i could just get her a few” you trailed off at the end.

“sure! i’m at the shop right now so just give me around 30 minutes? how long till she leaves?” jeonghan told you from the other side of the phone.

“her parents are picking her up in an hour, thanks so much jeonghan”

“no problem. i’ll see you in a bit” you heard before the tone for the call ending.

you headed back inside, going over the last of the paperwork to get the girl discharged, all you needed was the parents’ signature. you decided it’d be best to reassure her for now, she wouldn’t say it, but you could tell she was nervous. you told her more information on how she should care for herself over the next few weeks.

“jeonghan do you want to hang out later- why do you look so stressed out?” jeonghan’s younger friend and employee seungkwan looked at him confused.

“huh? oh a friend called and said they needed some flowers quickly, short notice” jeonghan mumbled not meeting his friends’ eyes.

seungkwan eyed him suspiciously, the gears turning in his head, “thought you hated when people asked on short notice? don’t we have a whole policy that we reject it?” seungkwan said with mirth in his voice.

“we do? seungkwan you should stop being so sensitive you can’t turn people away just because it’s short notice” jeonghan said turning to him, teasing lilt in his voice.

“what- you’re the one who came up with it not me!” seungkwan said to his boss, voice growing loud, “whatever, i just wanted to make fun of you for being so in love with yn that you’re doing all this for her”

“who said it was for yn?” jeonghan mumbled while his eyes turned back to the bouquet he was making.

“oh please! it’s obvious! who else would you go through all this trouble for?” seungkwan laughed.

jeonghan ignored his friend, turning all his undivided attention to the bouquet. it mainly consisted of yellow roses in the center with a few pink tulips and sunflowers around them. it was wrapped with a white ribbon, a small tag attached with the card reading ‘get well soon! it must have hurt ㅠㅠ please take care of yourself so you can feel better quickly :)’ truth be told jeonghan wasn’t doing this entirely just because you asked but because he genuinely wanted to do something for the poor girl. a surgery when she’s pretty young couldn’t have been easy and she’s braver than half the people he knows. picking up a small chocolate box from the convenience store next door, he set it in his car’s passenger seat with the bouquet. jeonghan sent you a quick text letting you know he was on his way before he turned his playlist on and headed to the hospital.

“yn!” jeonghan shouted before running to you, “here you go! she hasn’t left yet right?” he doubled over catching his breath.

you laughed a little at his antics before letting him know she was still waiting, “hey why don’t you come with me to give them to her?”

“are you sure?”

“yeah don’t worry about it. come on let’s go!” you lead the way back to the room.

when you returned with jeonghan you saw that she was still just waiting, scrolling through her phone looking bored out of her mind. you felt bad and realised you could’ve gotten that new junior doctor to keep her company.

“oh hi you’re back! with..” she trailed off when she saw jeonghan but her unasked question was answered when she saw the gift bag in his hands. jeonghan handed the bag over to her, smiling at her reaction to the flowers.

“these are so pretty! doctor your boyfriend’s really talented!” she giggled observing the flowers more. she was so entranced by them that she didn’t notice the awkward atmosphere engulfing the room when you quickly tried to deny what she was implying.

you were cut off by the message saying that the parents were here and were too distracted to see jeonghan leave, and you were too distracted to see the disappointment on his face.

after everything with the girl was settled, you headed back to your office. tired after the long day, you settled back into your chair stretching your limbs. you smiled to yourself when you spotted what was on your desk. it was a messy collection of a few flowers, there was no delicacy to it at all and you know that jeonghan would look annoyed at whoever ‘crafted’ (although he’d probably argue this wasn’t even a craft) the poorly put together flowers. there wasn’t even an official tag with them, it was usually just a torn off sticky note that you could get at the front desk. and as per routine, all that was on the note was a scribbled heart and a ‘good luck for tomorrow’.

for a little over half a year you’ve been getting these, but you still don’t know who it’s from. you don’t even know who in the staff delivers them to your desk because it can’t be a patient or visitor, they don’t have access. it never fails to put a smile on your face and you always secretly hope they’d give you some hint of who was sending them. you put them in your bag, heading to your car so that you could go to dinner with a few of your friends.

“you look extra happy today” your friend sooyoung teased you, giggling at how the warmth quickly spread across your face at what she said.

“it’s obvious why, did your secret admirer send you the flowers again today?” seulgi added, “what were they today, huh?”

“shut up guys” you groaned, “it’s not a secret admirer, it’s just someone being sweet and appreciating how much surgeons do! is that so wrong?”

“oh yeah definitely” nayeon teased, “someone would definitely get you flowers everyday just because they appreciated how good of a surgeon you are”

you sighed as all three of them burst into a fit of giggles before nayeon spoke up again, “so who is it?”

“isn’t it obvious?” seulgi said before you could answer, “it’s obviously jeonghan. who else is at the hospital and has relation to flowers?”

you shook your head at her reasoning, “it can’t be jeonghan. i thought it was at first too but the flowers are way too messy to be jeonghan’s. i’ve seen the flowers he keeps buried in the trunk of his car and even they’re more put together than the ones that the mystery person gives me”

“true” sooyoung spoke up, “we’ve seen these flowers, they’re all uneven. they look like they were taken from someone’s garden. i doubt jeonghan would give yn flowers that ugly if he liked her”

“hey!” you shouted, suddenly feeling offended on behalf of who was gifting you the flowers, “don’t call them ugly, they’re sweet” you pouted.

sooyoung laughed before hugging your side, “guys she’s already defending her secret offender, it’s so cute!”

you groaned again, burying your head in your hands while your friends continued to make theories on who was sending you the flowers. when you thought back to how seulgi thought it was jeonghan giving you the flowers, you remembered that you never paid him for the flowers from earlier. jumping, you quickly found his contact and called him.

“jeonghan! you didn’t let me pay for the flowers” you pouted though he couldn’t see it.

“oh so you- oh wait you mean the ones for that teenager?” he got rid of the teasing lilt immediately, although you were a little curious what he was going to say at first. “eh, don’t worry about it”

“jeonghan i owe you so much for the amount of flowers you’ve covered me, you can’t keep doing this it’ll end up driving you out of business”

the sounds of jeonghan’s soft laugh melted throughout your ear, “i told you yn, don’t worry about it. i like doing it for you..” the call stayed quiet for a few seconds, almost like jeonghan had something else to say, “uh i’m gonna go to bed now so i’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright? i’ve gotta finish a few orders for a wedding so i’ve got an early night”

“oh of course, sorry to have kept you up” you quickly told him, “but remember i’m going to pay you back!” you ended the call with both of you wishing the other good night.

for the rest of the night, you ignored your friends’ teasing in favour of stuffing your face full with the expensive meal at the restaurant you guys decided to splurge for, mind thinking about the mystery person sending you flowers.

at the next day at work, nothing much happened. you were battling a pounding headache from the night before and luckily you didn’t have much to do today besides rounds.

you stopped by the staff room that seungcheol and joshua are usually at, oddly enough jeonghan wasn’t with them today. ‘oh right he said he was busy with the orders for that wedding’. you waved at them before finishing off your rounds, if you were lucky, you’d be able to finish early and spend the rest of your shift relaxing while you hoped for your headache to subside.

that’s exactly what you did, checking up on some of your patients recovering after surgery or doing their rehabilitation before sitting in your office. you looked at the clock, 12:36- almost time for lunch. your eyes widened before you quickly checked your bag. in your rush to get out this morning and because of the headache, you never packed your lunch for today.

groaning, you searched for any places nearby that you could go to for lunch. satisfied when you found a cafe that was only a ten minute drive away, you put it into your navigator app.

when you got there, you quickly dismissed your original plan of getting the food to go and taking it back to the hospital. the cafe was right next to a park, so the tables outside the shop were in the park itself. the ambiance and sounds of nature was beautiful on a day like today, it was sunny but not too hot to the point where you were sweating buckets.

you took your food and sat at one table, taking a few pictures to remind yourself to bring your friends back here someday.

“yn?” a familiar voice drew your attention. “it is you!” you voice took the seat across from you.

“jeonghan? hi! how’d the orders for the wedding go?” you asked him, happy to see a familiar face.

he smiled at how you remembered what he had planned for today, “they loved them, thankfully. other than that i didn’t really have much to do today and there wasn’t any orders for the hospital either so i decided to just hop by the cafe”

you nodded as you listened quietly to him, taking sips of your coffee in between your sounds of acknowledgment, “yeah i don’t really have much to do either, but i’ve still gotta head back to the hospital when my lunch breaks done. this place is really pretty though i need to come back here more often” you sighed happily, pointing towards the beautiful park.

jeonghan hummed, agreeing with you. the two of you spent the rest of your break talking with each other, happily passing the time by. you checked your watch and saw you had about twenty minutes left of your break.

you bid jeonghan goodbye before driving yourself back to the hospital making a beeline straight to your office. oddly enough the flowers were there already, one day you were going to find out who’s behind it all you swear.

your ears perked up at the sound of your phone notification until you internally groaned when you saw who it was.

you loved your parents, you swear you did, but sometimes you couldn’t deal with their ridiculing. nothing could ever satisfy them- not even being a great surgeon! as soon as you did one thing that they wanted, here came another expectation they wanted you to meet. it was ridiculous! you weren’t a teenager anymore you were an adult, but they didn’t understand that.

you sighed as you opened up the text from your mom, feeling a little bad because all she just asked you to join her for a family dinner. you immediately texted her a ‘sure, can’t wait to see you all!’ after making sure your schedule was free that day.

the day the dinner rolled around, you did your best to make sure you looked great. it wasn’t rare for your family to ‘poke fun’ at how you looked, whether that be at how you generally looked or how you were dressed.

satisfied with your appearance, you grabbed your perfume, dabbing some onto your neck, collarbones and wrists. checking to make sure you had everything, all you had to do now was wait for the taxi to come pick you up to take you to your parents’ house.

most of your family was there, it’d really been a long time since you’d seen most of your aunts, uncles and cousins. you weren’t exactly sure what the occasion for all of this was when you agreed to come but you learnt it was to celebrate your younger sister’s engagement.

you hugged her, happy and surprised. you both giggled like teenagers when she showed you the ring and you hugged her again, truly so happy for her.

when the excitement died down a little, your parents started to nag you with questions. “yn when are you planning on dating someone?” your mother asked you, “your sister’s two years younger than you and she’s already engaged, just how old are you going to be when you start looking for someone?”

you were hoping her intention wasn’t to have your entire family including relatives listen to her scolding you, but right now your relatives were trying to hide that they could hear everything being said by acting like they were having their own conversations- but it was fairly obvious all the attention was on you and your parents.

“uh well.. i’m not sure yet. when the right person comes along then..” you didn’t face them properly and mentally berated yourself for it. how could you expect them to finally acknowledge you as an adult when all you could do was turn into the little kid that was scared to disappoint them? “besides, i didn’t really have time to look! i’ve been a surgeon for a year and it took 8 years of training” you grew quiet at the slightly mad looks on their faces.

“we didn’t raise you to make excuses for yourself and not take responsibility yn” your father told you harshly.

you nodded, too drained to argue back. they’d drop it after a week or two and you really didn’t have it in you to draw even more attention to yourself. so you swallowed the lump in your throat down and blinked back the stinging tears forming in your eyes.

after another twenty minutes, you decided it was time for you to leave. their ridiculing wasn’t letting up any time soon and you were sure you wouldn’t be able to go the rest of the dinner without having a breakdown right next to your uncle who only wanted you to hand him the salt.

you made an excuse at their questions, “i’m being called in at the hospital” you told them.

you stepped outside, the cool summer air hitting your face causing the tears welling up for the last 30 minutes to finally start falling. you sat on the curb, silently crying to yourself for a few minutes. you sighed frustrated when you realised you didn’t bring any money to pay for a cab ride back, thinking you’d stay with your parents for the night.

you scrolled through your contacts before you realised that all of your friends were busy tonight.

there was only one you weren’t sure of.

jeonghan was sitting on his friend’s couch, hanging out with a couple of his friends when he got your call. he answered normally, not bothering to move to another room until he heard you speak.

you sounded so small, so hurt- he could practically hear the tears in your voice. biting back sobs you asked him if he could pick you up from the address you’d send. jeonghan was so confused, as far as he knew you were at your parents’ for a dinner. you’d told him a few days ago and you seemed so excited for it.

he quickly explained to his friends that he had to go and he wasn’t sure how long it’d take. jeonghan waited for you to send the address before starting the car, quickly driving to pick you up.

jeonghan thought about you the entire drive over, worried about what happened to put you in a state like that and angry at whoever made it happen. you were inconsolable over the phone and all he wanted to do was hug you and comfort you, telling you how much he loved you and that you didn’t deserve what happened to you.

your sobs died down a little, but you still sniffles every few seconds when stray tears would escape you. the sound of a car pulling up caught your attention and you looked up to see it was jeonghan, he looked so stressed.

you felt guilty when you saw him. ‘what if he was sleeping and he woke up for his?’ you thought to yourself, regretting having bothered him.

he crouched down to bring himself to your position as you still sat on the curb, a fresh set of tears forming in your eyes when you saw your friend.

“yn..” jeonghan said softly, worried and cautious. “can you tell me what happened please?”

you shook your head while you fought against your body and the urge to start sobbing again, “it’s so- so stupid, jeonghan. i’m sorry i bothered you, you’re probably so annoyed”

“hey hey, i’m not annoyed at you. if im annoyed it’s at whoever made you so sad” he told you, gently rubbing away your tears, heart breaking at how more just kept falling to replace the ones he wiped.

you explained everything to jeonghan from your sister’s engagement to the way your parents practically humiliated you in front of everyone.

he looked at you for a few seconds before getting up and walking over to the front door of your parents house. before he knocked on it, he unlocked his car and told you to sit in there rather than the dirty curb.

you were too drained from the night to question what he was up to, you’ve known yoon jeonghan long enough to know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him anyway.

he came back a few minutes later, looking frustrated but a little satisfied with himself. jeonghan went to the trunk of his car, pulling something out. when you saw him do so, you smiled a little, expecting him to give you a beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers like he always did when you expressed to him you were stressed and he’d always explain the specific choice of flowers while you admired them.

what you didn’t expect was for him to instead show you a messily arranged bunch of flowers, they looked like they were freshly picked from someone’s front garden. he reached over you to grab an old receipt from the glovebox, scribbling a little heart to the back of it before attaching it to the bunch of flowers. he handed it to you, grinning and happily laughing at your confusion.

“you didn’t expect it, huh?” he asked you, still giggling.

“n-no i didn’t- does this mean-?”

“that i’ve been the one leaving you those ugly little flowers on your desk everyday? yeah. expect well- it wasn’t really me leaving them- i mean obviously they’re from me to you but then one actually putting them on the desk was either shua or cheol-”

you laughed at how he was tripping over his own words, as cool as he wanted to look he was still a little nervous confessing to you.

“i’m so mad” you deadpanned, trying not to let the corners of your lips lift into a smile when you saw the worried look on his face.

“you mean to tell me that i’ve been trying to play detective for the last few months all because you didn’t want to tell me!” you whined, pouting at him.

“it was supposed to be a fun way to confess! i just didn’t think it’d take you this long to figure it out!” jeonghan laughed again when he realised you were joking. “actually, in the end, you weren’t even the one to realise. i told you!”

you rolled your eyes playfully at him, “oh well thank you for finally realising i was clueless about the whole thing. what did make you finally want to admit it anyway?”

jeonghan went silent for a few minutes, reassuring you that he was simply trying to find the right words to say what he needed to.

“when i heard you tonight.. i realised something” he looked at the empty street.

“on the phone you sounded so.. sad. it made me sad too and it made me realise that i was wrong about how i thought i felt about you for the last few months”

“i mean that i thought for the last few months that i just liked you- a crush kind of. and that i wanted to go out with you” he quickly added when he saw the worry flash through your face, “i realised that if i only liked you then i wouldn’t have felt how i did today. and it made me realise that i love you a lot more than i thought. and i don’t want to just go out with you but i want to try to make sure you never feel like how you did today ever again”

“so basically what i’m trying to say is, i love you yn, and i hope someday i’ll be in love with you, and you the same for me” he finally looked you in the eyes.

it was a lot to take in at once. from the dinner, to jeonghan telling you he was your mystery admirer to him telling you he loved you- it was a long night to say the least.

you thought about it, and you definitely felt the same. you wouldn’t say you were in love with him, but you definitely loved him- and wanted to see what a future life with him was like. jeonghan was an amazing person, he’d been the one to bring you joy for the better part of your first year as a surgeon.

leaning over the stick shift, you gently pressed a kiss to the corner of his lip, smiling at his it curved upwards. you met his eyes before speaking, “i really really like you too- i think i might even love you. and i definitely want to be with you, jeonghan”

jeonghan smiled again, index finger tilting the underside of your jaw up bringing you closer to him and his lips to yours.

“hannie? you ready yet?” you called out to your boyfriend, trying to decide on which necklace to wear.

you decided on the pearl one jeonghan had gotten for you on your anniversary, struggling a little as you tried to put it on yourself.

you felt the ends being taken from your own fingers as they secured the necklace in place, you looked through the mirror to see jeonghan, his hands now coming to circle your waist and pressing kisses on your neck from the back to the side, eventually making his way to your collarbone.

“han..” you sighed, smiling when his eyes met your own, “we don’t have much time left until we have to get there”

“i’m sure your sister won’t mind if we’re a little late” he said but pulled away anyway in favour of doing up your zip like you’d asked.

“oh yeah definitely” you said sarcastically before giggling at your boyfriend’s sulking, “come on, i’d rather my family doesn’t murder me for being late to my own sister’s wedding” in reality you knew you still had plenty of time and you definitely wouldn’t be late, but you still didn’t want to take any chances.

“if they try saying anything i’ll tell seungcheol to threaten them”

“what happened to the guy who once marched into my parents house and lectured them for ten minutes about how they should treat me better?” you teased him.

“he realised he’s scared your parents will end up saying no to him when he asks for their daughter’s hand in marriage” he laughed, his hands finding their way to his pockets while he kissed you again.

you tried to hide the fact that you were flustered by clearing your throat and checking your purse to make sure you had everything, but jeonghan saw right through you sending you a teasing look before grabbing his keys.

“yn?”

“hm?” you turned around to look at him.

“i love you” he smiled, warmth swimming in his brown eyes.

“i love you too” you walked over to him, pressing your lips to his own.

[seungminsbaldspot]

Fake it Till you make it

Pairing:  Jisung  x Reader

Prompt 10: Opposites attract when two characters pretend to be dating and fall in love​​

Word Count:  4153 WORDS OH MY GAWD?

Genre: well its fake dating so angst/comfort maybe???

Spoiler:  “Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” 

Warnings: She/her pronouns, cursing, cheating Minho, toxic Minho, minho is just a bad guy, Jisung is just a loud but lovable college guy trying to make the most of life, mentions of sex (minho is cheating ofc), jisung loves the f word, small mention of a cut/blood, fighting, lowkey a slow burn but also not really but also sort of a slow burn; also i would like to say it’s sort of proofread but also not really so

Notes: every now and then i remember that jisung has me in a chokehold 

Han Jisung was certainly a character. He was loud and reckless, many would call him the “class clown.” But to you, he was just your crush’s best friend. Yes, unfortunately, you had fallen for the one and only, Lee Minho. 

You had one Chem Lab with Minho, and decided that he was the perfect man for you. He was handsome, witty, and smart. Plus he seemed to be kind to everyone, so that was just the icing on the cake for you. 

Luckily for you, your professor assigned the lab partners, and you were partnered up with Minho. Unbeknownst to you, this simple arrangement of partnership will change your life. 

Having Minho as your lab partner meant that You two would be spending loads of time together. And unfortunately for you, Minho loved being inside his apartment near campus. Every time you two would need to do some extra work, Minho would suggest going over to his apartment. His apartment was only a ten-minute walk from campus, but you knew who also resided there, Han Jisung. 

Jisung and Minho are the best of friends, they know each other like the back of their own hand, but they are truly opposites. Minho was more collected and Jisung was, well, everywhere. Jisung was the wilder of the two, he went to tons of parties back then, and he was always at a party. 

But he was also always there at the apartment when you were there. It’s not like you hated Jiisung per se, but his energy and your energy never matched. When you and Minho would be in the living room, finishing up a post-lab assignment, you could hear Jisung in his own room, playing the drums or sometimes belting out random song lyrics. Minho would only shake his head and apologize for his roommate’s behavior, but he always smirked when he apologized. It really gave you mixed signals back then, But you would soon find out what kind of man Minho actually was.  

During the time of the chemistry class, Minho gave you his phone number, so you and him could properly communicate about chemistry projects, but after the class was over, and you two both passed, Minho would still message you. Back then, you could only think about how lucky you were to have THE Lee Minho texting you in HIS free time. Minho would invite you out to lunch, to study sessions, or just to hang out. But as usual, you would somehow end up at Minho and Jisung’s shared apartment. Every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he would smirk, knowing that Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Even though you never liked spending time at their shared apartment, you still fell harder for Minho, and he knew it. He knew that you liked him, and every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he knew you wouldn’t say no, even though being around Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Minho would continue to take you on dates, but never asking you to be his girlfriend. On one occasion, he accidentally spilled a drink on you, and on another, he seemed more interested in his phone than in the conversation. But, at the time, you didn’t mind it, you were still spending time with Minho. Minho would often make dates with you, and you would meet up at his shared apartment, so going to the apartment for a date was not out of character. 

Minho texted you to meet at his apartment at 3:15, so you arrived at his door at 3 on the dot. Minho always liked to be on time, so when he said 3:15, he meant that he wanted to leave at 3:15, therefore you needed to be there at 3. It’s just the way Minho was, well still is. 

When you arrived at the door, you knocked twice. You always knocked twice. However, there was no answer. You put your hand on the door handle, just to check if it was locked, as sometimes Minho would leave the door unlocked if he knew you were coming over. And the door was unlocked, so you walked inside, everything was normal until you heard them. 

You heard Minho’s moans, the skin-to-skin smacking that resonated throughout the apartment. You felt your heart drop to your stomach. It’s not that Minho and you were dating, but you thought he liked you. And you thought you liked him. 

Interrupting your thoughts, you heard a few final, louder, moans. You went into autopilot and went into the first room that you could quickly hide in. Once inside the room, you shut the door, as silently as you could. You move out of the way from the door, covering your mouth, trying to hold the sobs in. You slide down the wall, trying to even your breath. He wasn’t even your boyfriend, so why are you upset?  

You could hear their hushed voices as they exited the apartment. Still, you didn’t dare to move. You could hear the front door open again and fast-paced footsteps came closer and closer to you. The door to the room you were hiding in swings open and enters a happily humming Han Jisung. When his eyes met your teary ones, he almost dropped his bags. He quickly set down his bags and rushed over to you, crouching down to you. 

“What happened?” He asked, looking you over for any immediate signs of harm. You shook your head. “Uhhh Okay well Um.. Why are you crying?” He asked meekly, almost unsure to ask any questions. You let out a pitiful sob, “Minho.” With that one word, it was like he understood everything. 

Well, Jisung was Minho’s best friend and his roommate. And if you could hear the two of them in Minho’s room, you couldn’t even imagine what Jisung had to go through. 

“He’s an asshole. Really. I mean He gets into all these girls’s pants all the time..” He trailed off, looking up at you, he stopped talking when he saw the tears flow down your face. “Ah, Shit. Okay, How about this? Me and you,” He gestured to himself and then you, “Fake Date!” He clapped, his smile almost lighting up the whole room. You jumped a little when he clapped, not expecting him to be this loud. His eyes widened, “Oh shit! I’m sorry! I’m just used to being loud.” He said, looking away. You shook your head, “No, you’re fine.” You said. 

Jisung's proposition hung in the air, his eyes still reflecting genuine concern for your well-being. The unexpected nature of his suggestion caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his enthusiasm, despite the circumstances.

"Fake dating, huh?" you said, wiping away a few tears. "That's a pretty unconventional solution, Jisung."

He grinned, looking somewhat proud of his idea. "Well, unconventional times call for unconventional measures. Plus, it's the perfect way to show Minho he can’t go around manipulating every girl he comes across into fucking them."

As you considered the proposal, you couldn’t deny the appeal of the idea. It could perhaps send a message to Minho. However, the intricacies of faking a relationship, even temporarily, are not lost on you.

"How would that even work?" you asked, genuinely curious about the details of Jisung's plan.

Jisung leaned back, scratching his head. "Well, we just act like a couple—hold hands, share a few laughs, maybe even a fake kiss here and there. Make it convincing enough, and hopefully, Minho gets the message that he can't fuck around with every girl he comes in contact with."

You sighed, “Alright.” 

Jisung's eyes lit up, and he clapped his hands together. "Great! We'll make this so convincing that Minho won’t know what the hell is happening!"

The two of you begin to brainstorm ways to make the fake relationship appear authentic. Jisung suggests casual touches, sweet gestures, and spending more time together in public. The plan took shape, and you found yourself surprisingly committed to the act if only to put an end to Minho's fuck-boy behavior. 

After a few hours of brainstorming,  you both decided that you would spend the night, starting the fake relationship as soon as possible. Jisung lent you his baggy night shirt and some shorts, as you were dressed for a date night when you arrived at the apartment. 

That morning, when Jisung had woken you up, “I hear Minho in the kitchen.”He had said.  His expression was a mix of determination and readiness for the charade you're about to embark on. The plan was in motion, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation.

You nodded, “Starting already?” You asked, causing Jisung to giggle, “Of course we are! He’s most sensitive in the mornings!” He said, rushing you out of bed.

 As you followed Jisung out of the room, you couldnt help but wonder how convincing this act would be and what kind of reaction you’d elicit from Minho.

In the kitchen, Minho glanced up from his breakfast preparation, a curious look in his eyes as he noticed your presence. Jisung put on a charming smile and gestures between the two of you."Morning, Minho! Guess what? Y/N stayed over last night," Jisung announced with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Minho's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he looked between you and Jisung. "Oh, really? That’s Unexpected. What's the occasion?"

You exchanged a glance with Jisung, both of you ready to play your parts in this charade. “Well since you didn’t answer my text last night for our hang out, Jisung and I decided to have a ‘stay at home’ date night!” You met Minho's gaze with a practiced smile, feigning nonchalance. , "We figured why waste a perfectly good night, right?" You let out a soft laugh, hoping it sounds convincing. Jisung chimed in, "Exactly! We watched movies, ordered some food, you know, the usual cozy night in."

Minho's expression shifted, a mix of surprise and curiosity still lingering. "Huh, I didn't know you two were that close." You nod, subtly intertwining your fingers with Jisung's, a move you'd agreed upon earlier. "Well, sometimes unexpected things happen, and you just go with the flow, right?"

Jisung gave  Minho a playful nudge. "Come on, Minho, you should've joined us. It was a blast!" Minho chuckles nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. "Yeah, maybe next time." Jisung laughs, “Oh Come On! You’re always with one of your weekly girls. It wouldn’t hurt to be with your friend and his girlfriend for a while!” Minho shook his head, “Yeah, I’m just a little busy currently.” He brushed off Jisung’s offer. Jisung shrugged, “Whatever man.” 

As the breakfast preparations continued, you and Jisung maintained the act, exchanging glances and subtle touches. It's a delicate dance, and the success of this ruse depends on how well you can convince Minho that there's more to your relationship than meets the eye.

The weeks pass, and the facade of your fake relationship with Jisung continues. The charade becomes more convincing with each passing day, and you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of emotions that accompany the act. Jisung's thoughtful gestures and genuine kindness start to blur the lines between reality and fiction.

As you would go on these "fake" dates, you couldnt help but compare Jisung's behavior to Minho's. The difference between the two was like fire and ice. Jisung's consideration and warmth stand in stark contrast to Minho's self-centered actions. Jisung would hold the door open for you, whereas Minho would let you walk straight into the door and then slyly apologize. Jisung would buy you flowers and cute good-morning text messages. But then the realization dawns on you that maybe there's more to Jisung's plan than just fuck with Minho's advances.

You noticed the weariness in Jisung's eyes, the exhaustion that comes from living with someone whose lifestyle clashes so significantly with his own. His attempt to create a buffer, a shield from Minho's late-night fucks, becomes more apparent.

One evening, after returning from a l "date," Jisung breaks starts a conversation that would change your view on some things.

"I hope you know this isn't just about Minho," he says, his eyes focused on the road ahead. "I mean, it is, but it's also about finding some peace in my own home. I can't keep living like this." 

You knew that you both were earning something from this fake dating, but you never thought that you would see Jisung so emotional about Minho. 

“He’s my best friend you know? And I know that he has been doing this for months now, and It’s tearing me apart that he is going around fucking up girls and manipulating them. It makes me so pissed that he’s done this to a multitude of girls and that he’s done this to you.”   

You didn’t know what to tell him at the time, I mean Minho was using Jisung by living in his house, and you were using him to get back at Minho. You could only stay silent. 

A few days after that date, it was Minho’s birthday. Minho and Jisung were having a get-together with their friends at their apartment, little did you know at that time, this small gathering was going to change your life.  

As the roommate’s friends arrived, the apartment was filled with excitement, laughter, and the sound of glasses clinking. A sense of both celebration and anticipation permeated the air.

You keep up the illusion of your fake relationship with Jisung during the little get-together for Minho's birthday, acting as the supportive girlfriend. The party progresses, and the revelry heightens, but beneath the surface, an undercurrent of tension simmers.

As the night unfolded, you noticed Minho's attention lingering on you and Jisung. His eyes showed a hint of interest, perhaps even jealousy. ? 

Sometime during that night, you decided to step outside of the apartment, to have some alone time. Being around Jisung and Minho’s shared friends, really drained your social battery. You were out of the apartment no longer than five minutes, and you heard the sound of the door being opened and closed. Thinking it was one of Minho’s or Jisung’s friends leaving the party, you continued to mind your own business. 

That was until a hand grabbed your shoulder, turning you around, and then pushing you up against the wall. You winced at the impact of you being shoved against the wall, and when you opened your eyes, you were met went MInho’s dark and cold eyes.  “What the hell has been going on between you and Han?” He seethed out. You rolled your eyes, “What does it matter to you Minho? We weren’t together Minho.” He scoffed, slapping his hand on the wall beside you, “Like Hell, we weren’t. But you didn’t even like him! You couldnt stand him when we were fucking around! How can you just turn up one day and say you’re fucking with Han?” 

You sneered, “Minho if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I swear to God that I will make SURE you will never be able to have sex again.” You uttered. “You-” Before he could continue, the front door swung open, Jisung rushing out of the door, barrelling towards You and Minho. 

Jisung pushes his whole body into Minho, taking the both of them to the floor. The two roommates struggled on the ground for a good minute, you could only stand there. You knew that getting in between the two would be a stupid decision, so you just stood there in shock. 

After what seemed to be hours (but were only seconds, your conception of time was severely warped back then), One of their friends, Chan, came running out the door, followed closely by Changbin, Chan hurrying to grab Minho, and Changbin struggling to catch Jisung.  Jisung and Minho struggle against the bigger, buffer men, still trying to get a hold of each other. Felix, another shared friend of theirs, comes towards, “What on earth happened out here?” He asked, worryingly. He kept glancing over at Chan and Changbin, who were still struggling to keep the two. You only shook your head. 

“He was going to fucking hit her! I saw it! I was watching out the window! I knew you didn’t like her! You just wanted to fuck with me- with her! You knew how I felt Minho! I can’t fucking believe you!” Jisung was yelling, that if they kept this up, the cops were going to be called. “Guys calm the fuck down. The cops are gonna get called. Now everyone shut the fuck up and go back inside.” Chan sternly gave out instructions, and somehow with his hushed voice, he got everyone to go inside. 

The group disperses to various corners of the living room. The atmosphere was strained by the events outside having left an uncomfortable vibe around all nine people inside the apartment. 

Felix, still visibly concerned, glances around the room. "Someone better start explaining what the hell just happened," Chan said.

Jisung, clearly still seething with anger, takes a moment before speaking. "I saw Minho, he was going to hit her. I couldn't let that happen."

Minho, on the other hand, shot a glare at Jisung, his face contorted with frustration. “Why the hell were you watching us? Minho clashed back, becoming visibly angry again. “Guys. Adults.” Chan reminded, Minho sighed, “I was only trying to talk to her.” Chan, and pretty much everyone in the room looked over to you, expecting you to explain. 

“I wouldn’t call  pinning me on the wall against my will as ‘talking’ but okay.” You shrugged, maybe that was a little too rude at the time, but who could blame you? You were still trying to process everything. 

“You knew how I felt Minho. You’re my fucking best friend. I fucking let you live in my house for fucks sake. Every time you would bring another girl home to fuck I tried my fucking best to leave the apartment, I fucking tried so fucking hard. Then you bring her around? KNOWING how I felt? Then you fucking hurt her? I didn’t know what to fucking do when I found her fucking sobbing her eyes out. My dumbass could only think of fucking fake ass dating. That shitty ass shit.” Jisung ranted, almost fully out of breath. 

Your eyes widen. You glanced around the room.  Chan sighed. “Alright, Minho why don’t you crash at my place tonight? We all need some space.” Chan announced, Minho only nodded, leaving to his room for a minute, and leaving with a bag along with Chan. Chan only waved everyone out, but when you tried to leave, Chan pulled you to the side. “You should probably stay. I think you and him need to talk.” Chan smiled at you, You only nodded. Talking felt too much like a chore.

You sat back down beside Jisung, throughout that whole ordeal of everyone gathering their belongings and leaving, Jisung never moved. In fact, he still had some blood on his face, a small cut he got from the scuffle with Minho nearly thirty minutes earlier. 

You two sat in complete silence for a moment. You sighed, “Your cheek is cut.” He hummed. “Want me to clean it?” He sighed but nodded. You knew that he kept a first-aid kit in the bathroom, because on one of your ‘dates’, the two of you attempted to make dinner, but ended up with you cutting your finger and Jisung burning the food.

You grabbed the kit, and then made your way back into the living room. Jisung was still slumped on the couch, his usual vibrant and full of energy far gone now. His eyes met yours as you cleaned the small cut on his cheek, he quickly looked away, his cheeks turning pink. As he’s looking away, you took the chance to really look at him. He was really handsome. The curve of his jaw, the lines of his face, the way his eyelashes flutter every time he blinks - just everything about him, was pretty. 

“I’m sorry for making things awkward.” He said, breaking the silence. Your eyebrows scrunched. “What are you talking about?” You put the little alcohol wipe on the first-aid kit and grab a band-aid, opening it and placing it on the small cut. He watched you as you placed the band-aid on, following your every move. 

“God it’s so embarrassing.” He said, reaching up to gently grab your wrists, keeping them in front of his face, he looked down, almost ashamed. “I gave you the idea of fake dating for my own selfish desires. I literally tackled my best friend because I thought he was hurting you.” He sighed, and then looked up at you, tears brimming his eyes, “I’m so fucking sorry.” Your heart squeezed in a way that it had never squeezed before. He squeezed your wrists, not in a painful way, but in a pleading way. He was pleading with you for your forgiveness.  

“Ji… Although what you did, was not the smartest-” You sort of laughed, “I know you were trying to help me. And yeah Minho was being a dick. I really don’t know what his deal is. Me and him never dated. I don’t know why he had his panties in a twist about us.” He looked up at you, You had messed up. You had said that like you were in a real relationship with Jisung.  

He smiled, “Us?” You blushed and looked at the floor, embarrassed beyond belief. “You know, I was so pissed when he brought you around. And when he was fu-” He trailed off, sucking in a breath, “When he brought that girl home on that day he was supposed to go with you on that date. And I found you… sobbing. I… I was so fucking pissed at him. You were crying so much, I just tried to make you feel better. I didn’t like to see you upset then and there’s no way in hell I will let you cry like that over a man ever again.” He finally stood up, standing as close to you as he possibly could, but not touching, not yet. 

“Could I hug you?” The tears that were pooling in your tear ducts, finally let out, You nodded. He lightly laughed, he wrapped his arms around you, “Why are you crying?” He looks over you, bringing a hand up, wiping your tears. You shake your head, wrapping your arms around him. The two of you hold each other for a few moments. 

He pulls away, looking at your face, “We’ve been fake dating for the past two and a half months, but I think I’ve loved you way before that.” You blushed, “Y/n will you be my for real girlfriend now?” You laughed, “Of course, I will be your real girlfriend now.” He smiles, “Would there be any way that I could get our first real hug and real kiss in one night?” You playfully slapped his arm, “I supposed so…” You joke, He grins, “Hell Yeah!”

He pulled you closer to him by your hips, almost shoving his face onto yours, gently taking your lips into his. Kissing you playfully yet gently, like you were going to disappear if he were to open his eyes. 

“Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” You say to your daughter. It was her wedding day, She’s in her beautiful wedding dress. She truly makes a wonderful bride. “Oh Mama… Your guy’s love story was so inappropriate!” She laughs, making you smile, “Well Honey you didn’t get here on your own” You smile, laughing at the dirtiness of your story, of course you spared a few details, but only a few… 

Jisung bursts into the bride’s room, “AWH MY DAUGHTER! ALL GROWN UP! GIVING HER AWAY?? WAHHHH!! HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?? MY LOVE? WHAT ARE WE TO DO? OUR DAUGHTER!!” Jisung whines, shaking you by your shoulders and causing your daughter to laugh. “Dad! Come On!” He stops shaking you, softly looking at you, and then looking at his daughter. “My girls are so beautiful. I’m so glad I faked it till I made it.” 

Just to explain some things, Yes the whole story was past tense, and yes jisung liked you before the whole fake dating thing happened. ok goodbye, I love you thank you for reading

also notes, reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

[baldurs-gape]

Broken Hallelujah

The last thing the party needed was for Astarion's 'siblings' to make an unexpected visit in the middle of the night. They were already exhausted and battered, in need of a good night's sleep so the worst outcome was yet another fight. It didn't go well. Astarion was spirited away after taking a series of heavy blows that rendered him helpless and curled up on the floor. Storming Cazador's palace was out of the question in the state everyone was left in. Plus, taking on a vampire in the middle of the night was madness. By reluctant mutual agreement, Astarion's rescue was going to have to wait until daytime.

Plans were all very well but it was rare for them to be followed without a hitch. There was the matter of Gortash's Steelwatch which needed to be brought down as soon as possible. Finding the clown's torso was a happy little accident but it needed to be lugged back to the tavern because it was so heavy. And there was the small matter of needing to stock up on supplies before they could even consider getting Astarion back. Night was upon the party all too soon. Astarion was going to have to survive another night before getting rescued.

Daylight came again and more unexpected interruptions. An urchin was pleading with the barkeep, something about only wanting to deliver an important message. It was a good act, almost enough to convince Gale that the he did have a message to pass on rather than simply looking for a way in to pilfer some valuables.

"it's you!" The child's eyes were fixed on Wyll and Lae'zel let out an unimpressed tsk. "Blade of Frontiers! We need your help!"

Only a little charmed, karlach gave Wyll a nudge and a grin, a pleased 'told you so'. Just because he now had horns made him no less of a hero and defender of the Coast. The boy approached without fear, cap literally in hand.

"Please, Mr. Blade," he began, trying to be formal, "we need your help down at the dock. Some awful, vile creature has taken residence overnight and is obstructing our work."

"What kind of creature?" Wyll asked, torn between amusement and concern.

"Bossman says it's probably some deformed mercreature! Hisses and screeches from where it's squeezed itself between crates. Probably killed some cats or something because there's blood all over the planks. It screams what sounds like "go away" from a throat that wasn't made for speech."

All very concerning. Wyll looked at the other three. "It'll take maybe an hour by the sounds of it." A tinge of guilt coloured his voice, "Vampires are asleep until sunset. Another hour won't make much of a difference."

Lae'zel nodded in agreement while Karlach hesitated. Only Gale's lips were pressed into a thin line.

"We need to get Astarion free. He was already hurt when they took him."

"That's one being's benefit against that of many," Wyll argued. "We put one injured creature out of its misery and the dock workers can go back to their duties."

Clearly outnumbered, Gale sighed. He hated being in the minority, before all this mess, he just had to suggest something and it happened. Now, even outright saying how things should be wasn't enough to make it happen. Expression mildly thunderous and with half a mind on petty vengeance of blowing a few crates up to express his displeasure, he followed the others to the docks.

Finsing where the creature had holed up wasn't exactly difficult. Judging by the amount of blood, it had dragged a whole ox into its lair, not just a cat or two. A gaggle of workers stood a safe distance away, necks craning to catch sight of it. All too telling was the broken pitchfork near a wonkily piled of crates. Just enough of a gap between them for something to squeeze in and set up camp.

Sword pulled out, Wyll approached. He squinted into the dark, blade raised and ready to defence. The hiss that came from the crevice was hoarse and weak. Whatever it was, if left alone for a day or so, it would probably die anyway.

Gale watched as Wyll crouched down to get a better look. From his position he had the perfect view as another hiss made him flinch but peered in. No attack was coming forth. Not from Wyll and not from the creature either. In fact, the wooden boxes moved as though the creature was pressing further into the darkness and meager cover it had found.

"Just toss a caustic bulb in," Lae'zel offered, poised and ready to pounce.

Patience gone, Karlach marched closer. "This is easier." The top crate was hefted up and easily discarded to the side with an ominous rattle. A pained screech went up as the creature tried to hide. At the same time Wyll's exclamation was just as loud.

"Astarion?!"

For a long second everything hung in the air. Gale craned to get a better look but only saw blood smeared flesh and a mop of filthy hair. In slow motion the head raised and feral red eyes scanned the threats. The moment another hiss left Astarion's throat, the world snapped back into motion.

Without thought, Gale was vaulting over the crate he was behind, rushing to get to Astarion. Lae'zel sheathed her sword and Wyll stepped back in shock. Unthinking, Gale pushed Karlach to the side and dropped to his knees, hand reaching to cup Astarion's face gently.

"What did they do to you, my love?"

The snarling his twisted into an agonised sob as Astarion sagged. Still, he didn't say anything, slumping into Gale's touch. In the light of day the damage was easy to perceive but not easy to see. Astarion's face was bloodied, Gale would have put good gold on a broken cheek. A lot of the blood was around his lips and chin though and, at first, he thought maybe Astarion had had a chance to feed. Yet that should have helped with the healing. Another look and Gale wished he hadn't. As Astarion took a heaving breath through trembling lips, he could see gaps where fangs had been broken off. Gale couldn't help the wince of sympathy. Gathering him closer, his hands brushed over a familiar back but he didn't feel just the scars. Instead, his hands touched wet and sticky lines. Adjusting them, Gale regretted his choices. The scars were near enough obliterated by vicious lines of split skin. At a guess it was the aftermath of a frenzied whipping.

"Get Shadowheart," he croaked at the others. He wasn't versed in healing magic, none of them were. Helping Astarion rearrange his limbs into something comfortable was proving impossible. He was in the blood soaked remnants of his sleep pants, feet bare and Karlach tried to gently pull shards of glass out. All through it, Astarion got quieter and quieter. Too quiet and Gale clutched a him.

"Help's coming, hold on."

Almost not soon enough, Shadowheart was dashing towards them, Halsin on her heels. Blue healing magic glowed around them and a hand thrust a potions bottle to Gale.

"Get it into him."

Easier said than done. Astarion could barely sip, coughed and choked on every other small mouthful. A weak, trembling hand even tried to shove the bottle away but Gale held firm despite everything in him screaming to not force Astarion into anything.

"Why isn't he healing?" he growled in frustration as Shadowheart sat back, spells exhausted.

It was Halsin's turn to kneel by them, the golden glow of his magic strong. He offered Astarion a soft smile and looked over to Gale.

"Spells will target the most critical injuries first." A sadness overtook his features. "Sometimes it's more important to get someone healed than to assess what injuries have been sustained."

Cold seeped into Gale and not just from holding Astarion close. He couldn't see a single part of Astarion that had healed. Whatever other injuries he had, they weren't visible.

Finally the potion bottle was empty and Gale discarded it carelessly in favour of brushing fingers through Astarion's filthy hair. It had Astarion stirring to blearily blink at them. Gone was the mask of aloofness, the pretence of immortal invulnerability. Instead all that was left was a breaking heart left bleeding in the open for all to gawk at.

"You didn't come." An accusation, a gut wrenchingly pained statement, a hollow cry of disappointment. "You didn't come."

"I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry." Gale should have kicked up a fuss, they should have gone the moment the sun rose after Astarion was snatched. Guilt gnawed at him. He and Halsin should have gone, even if nobody else was willing. It was what Astarion would have done, in fact had done when Orin had snatched Halsin.

The warmth of Halsin enveloped them from Astarion's other side. Together, the two of them tried to hold Astarion together as he began to shake apart with emotions he could no longer contain.

"He did the ritual. Was so angry. Livid." A hand ghosted over his own lips, fingers feeling the memory of agony. "Said it was my fault."

It made no sense but, for now, it didn't have to. Gale held him closer and looked to Halsin for guidance. This kind of thing played more to his strength than Gale's.

"Not your fault. He's a wretched cur for making you even think that. Once you're better, we'll rid the world of him together if you'd like. Raze the castle to the ground. I'll serve his head on a platter if that is what you need."

Slow clapping interrupted them. Raphael of all people was sauntering closer, hands in front of him.

"Bravo, little one! Bravo."

Gale willed a spell into his hand and aimed it at the intruder. "Not now, dickwad."

"Oh but now is exactly the right time." Standing, he gazed down at Astarion with indulgent affection. "You might have just made it to the top of my favourites list."

Bristling at the threat such words held, Halsin shifted to cover Astarion as much as he could.

"You're not welcome, Raphael. Not that it has ever stopped you before."

"But I come bearing gifts. Yes, gifts! You see, Astarion has just created the hottest gossip of hell. And, because he is a friend of mine, I am now an elevated denizen of Hell." Preening, Raphael waited for a reaction which never came. It didn't deter him in the slightest. "You see, our beloved Astarion here was charged with bringing Cazador 7000 souls for his grand Ascension. And hwat a busy little spawn he's been. Two hundred years and over 7000 victims lured back. Makes you shiver, doesn't it? Not all of them survived though."

"None of them did," Astarion replied, voice rough and raspy.

"Well, quite. Cazador had a rather large appetite, didn't he? But 7000 of those you lured back he fed from, turned into spawn and stashed under his palace, didn't he?"

Eyes closed, Astarion nodded. "It was my fault."

"Indeed. But Cazador only wanted the beautiful for his ascension so he was choosy about who he turned. But finally, at long last, after centuries of waiting, he had it." Raphael laughed coldly. "He performed the rite, didn't he? Tell me, what was it like?"

"Like watching the ringmaster from a torture rack, what do you think?"

"Oh to have seen his face though. Completing his ritual, calling Mephistopheles to claim his souls, only for daddy dearest to appear, look at all your victims and say-" here, he paused in the hopes that Astarion would help act out the stroy. Stubborn silence left him sniffing, offended at the lack of participation. "Mephistopheles says 'where are the souls?' and looks around again."

Slapping his knees, Raphael cackles as if it was the funniest thing in the entirety of the world. "Where are the souls?" he repeated with more mirth.

"Very droll," Gale replied, utterly unamused. "Maybe this is Avernus humour rather than Faerun humour."

"You don't understand!" Still hooting, Raphael struggled to stand straight. "They were all spawn! 7000 spawn, not a single soul between them."

"So Cazador failed?" It was Halsin who asked, blunt and flat.

The same time Raphael exclaimed an elated "yes", Astarion let out a bitter scoff. "As if that wasn't obvious. Took it out on me, blamed me for it."

"And so-" Raphael cut in, undeterred, "-I come with two gifts." He snapped a finger. "Ta-dah!" The trio stared without a single clue as to what had happened. "Oh for crying out loud, you're free! Still a spawn but free of Cazador's influence."

"Oh." Astarion didn't seem elated at the news. "The tadpole was already doing that."

"Yes, but think of after! Think of the future."

Halsin cleared his throat. "You said two things?"

"Greedy." Raphael booped Halsin on the nose. "But yes." Another finger click. This time Astarion shivered.

Eyes wide with hope, Gale looked over him. "Did he give you your soul back?"

Eyes closed, Astarion shook his head while Raphael let out a delighted giggle. "No, silly! You're more greedy than bear-boy here. He's fully healed!"

Which was great but it wasn't anything they couldn't have done. It didn't do anything but fill Gale and Halsin with cold dread. Living in hope had been better, easier. They knew for sure now, Astarion truly didn't have a soul.

[we-are-inevitable]

ok so i was talking to @to-be-a-dreamer @tarantulas4davey and @carpe-diem-since-1899 about racetrack things the other day and i just thought i would dump some of those thoughts here bc i am So invested in this weird little guy

anyway i just ,, i have a lot of feelings abt jack passing the newsies onto racer once he ages out.

i feel like. charlie is the next choice, but charlie in my eyes is the same age as- if not older than- jack; if jack hadn’t been the leader of the newsboys, it definitely would have been charlie, but jack is the one who took the reins. (this age hc is mostly because of west endsies ngl.) anyway! moving on

jack and charlie have always been a team. charlie is definitely jack’s second in terms of always being there, but race is his second in terms of business- it only makes sense for race to take over when jack is gone, and i just,, i love the concept of race either not really wanting that or not really knowing how to handle that. i think, at his core, race is trying to hold onto whatever youth he has left. its why he’s always cracking jokes, despite how jaded and angry he is under the surface. he pretends not to care or else he’ll crack under the pressure, and when he cracks, it’s angry. it’s mean. his bark is as bad as his bite. so he puts on this front- this childish, snarky, comedic relief front- and he’s terrified of the implications of Being The Leader because he feels like he’ll no longer have that front to hold onto or hide behind. and it takes him a long time, i think, to realize that he doesn’t have to be exactly who Jack was- he can lead the newsboys how he sees fit, he doesn’t need to be a carbon copy of jack, because they’re fundamentally so different. and i think that is just very fun

but more on the anger, because i think it’s an interesting take that is very much represented in West Endsies- as @roideny and @jack-kellys have pointed out before:

i’m interested in the other newsies- especially albert, finch, and maybe spot- seeing that sadness and strain and anger that seems to be taking it’s place as his dominant trait. yeah. bc i think,, i think race is angry at his core, like i said. angry at his position in all of this. angry that jack left, that charlie followed, that davey was never staying in the first place, that spot still thinks of him as a kid instead of a new leader, that other burrough leaders don’t take him seriously because they know him as the jokester. angry that these kids are his kids now, and angry that his kids are still starving, still walking holes in their shoes, still shivering at night and still dying of sickness when the cold weather hits too hard. i want this race to be fucking pissed and i want everyone else to be caught off guard by it.

because, let’s be real, jack wasn’t the roughest leader. he was strong, and dependable, and not afraid to put kids in their place, but he’s still nurturing and parental. after years of being used to that, i think the newsies would struggle with Race for a while, especially as race tries to figure out his leadership style, and i think a lot of that would manifest in this anger that has been bubbling up under the surface for ages- the anger he never lets anyone see because he doesn’t want that.

race has spent anywhere from 5 to 10 years- depending on when you headcanon him to join the newsies- being the funny guy, the clown, the joker; if he’s going to earn respect, he’s going to have to take it from a few kids. lashing out and being brash- all for the sake of keeping everyone safe, of course- but he’s such a different leader than jack, and i think it would be SO fun to explore that more in post-canon works.

i feel like this post is a little disjointed and i may not be explaining things correctly, plus i haven’t actually seen west endsies yet! a lot of this is based on convos with the besties and i am just having brainrot. besties, feel free to jump in with any additions, and anyone reading this: feel free to send asks or talk in the tags <33

[melancholysway]

TMNT Headcanons - Allergies!

Things the boys are allergic to because I’m lactose intolerant & I still need time to do my requests yet stay active so I'm posting my drafts for the time being LMAO

Leonardo

Eggs. I don't know why, but I hc that all Leo's are allergic to eggs.

Not that it has a big impact on him, he usually eats traditional Japanese meals. However, some of them do include eggs, so he uses the plant based egg alternative as a placeholder.

Since 2012 Mikey cooks for everyone, he's conscious of the ingredients he puts into the food. If a recipe is egg dominant, like a cake or pasta, he makes a special desert/meal for his big brother. He might make a flourless/egg-less cake, and use chickpea pasta instead of the regular.

Bayverse Leo just omits everything with eggs. For breakfast, he usually reaches for toast anyway.

2012 Leonardo eats a struggle meal at breakfast. Since they're limited to breakfast foods, he usually eats cereal.

P.S: He really likes Special K vanilla and almond cereal. <3

Rise!Leo is the first to actually try and eat it to see how bad his reaction would be. Spoiler: he has to bench in the bed for a week. Yeah, it's that bad. Mix that in with a rash and he's never trying that again.

2007 Leo is more plant-based anyway, since he lived a year in the jungle. So, he's used to not eating anything but fruits or nuts.

Raphael

This boy is sensitive to milk. It may be because I wanna pass the lactose intolerant torch down to one of the turtles, but I seriously think Raphael does not like dairy milk anyway.

Bayverse & 2007 Raph are seriously into their physique. They have a good balance of meats and veggies, but can’t have dairy milk.

He likes Almond milk.

Not only is almond milk a great alternative for non-dairy drinkers, but you get much more calcium that way!

I also headcanon that although the guys eat pizza all the time like in the shows, Raph is the one who doesn't eat it as much. He's way too into his body to mess up his progress. He eats it in moderation. Plus, cheese is a dairy product, but it doesn't mess him up like dairy milk does.

Rise!Raph is massive, so I imagine a tiny little ounce of cow's milk messing him up to be very fitting.

2012 Raph tries to thug out his milk intolerance, but it never goes well. Long story short, after many days of feeling lethargic and throwing up, he knows better.

Donatello

SHELLFISH YALL

turtle shell puns aside

Donatello is allergic to shell fish and I feel so bad because I LOVE me some crab.

I just know Raph clowns him for it to and they bicker over which allergy is worse.

R: Don try this Cali roll, oh wait, ya cant!

D: Wow this milkshake is great! have a try raph! oh wait...whoops! I'll just give it to Mikey.

Always always always!

Do not invite him to your takeout sushi shindig, he will not be able to eat anything.

Leo is the one who usually eats fish, so whenever Mikey makes his special plate, Donnie audibly gags. It's not just the fact that he's allergic, it's the smell.

2012 Donnie really hates fighting FishFace because of the smell

it makes him wanna throw up.

So a lot of the times he just wants to get in and get out when a mission involves fighting Xever.

2007 and Bayverse donnie live off of small snacks, so they don't ever have to think about their food containing fish

Rise!Donnie makes this joke everytime he eats goldfish crackers

"Guys look, I'm eating fish," *wiggles eyebrows*

everyone else: :|

Michelangelo

GLUTEN

Now here ya'll go in the comments

bUt MeLanChOLY, MiKeY'S AlWAys EaTinG PiZZa!!!

OKAY!?!!?!?!

Gluten free pizza ;)

No i swear it. He has some sort of intolerance. You know how sometimes you may eat a certain food so much that after a while your body just rejects it?

It's not pizza his body's rejecting though, it's gluten.

So now, he's in a frenzy, when Donnie told him, he gave him a sad puppy-eyed look & said

"So...I can't....have...pizza anymore? For forever??"

He's happy when Donnie says he still can.

They have to order gluten--free pizza now. But rejoice! Times are changing, diet culture is changing, the world is changing! Gluten free options are pretty much everywhere! Woohoo!

I feel like Rise!Mikey is PISSED he can't eat bagels. I feel like he would love a mean everything bagel with cream cheese.

But, do not fear, there are gluten free breads available!

2012 Mikey just gets gluten-free everything now. It's mainly the gluten from bread, but just for fun, he'll get gluten free snacks

2007 & Bayverse Mikey go on strike and try to not eat anymore pizza to see if it'll "reset his body,"

Raph bursts his bubble and let's him now that's not how allergies or intolerances work

"Take it from someone who ain't had milk in years, mikey."

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space Masterlist

[emproleon]

HI IZZY 🗣️ i present to you a random free pass to tell me five things you love about dio's goofy ass 🎟️ but also no pressure 🧡

OOOH HI KAT THANK YOU FOR THE FREE PASS💖 this is gonna be long LMAO and im actually gonna keep this in line with canon as opposed to my psychotic daydreams (yall get that in discord)

Honestly, i love how funny he is?? like he is definitely overly memed on, and it's gotten old, but a lot of those moments just on their own are so funny to me SJKDHVS like the whole "how many breads have you eaten" line is so ????? why did u say that king..... and honestly i dont think he gets enough credit for the whole Muda shtick like hes the first (i think?) character to start the whole catchphrase thing back in part 1, pre stands, and it's again. not complaining, but what went through ur mind in making that decision, bud. plus the weird little homunculi he just made for funsies in part 1?? a real comedian 10/10

His fashion!! i genuinely LOVE his fits and all the little details in them so much, including the ones he wears in one off illustrations. the leathery, feathery, one is his best looks EVER and i honestly kinda wish it wouldve been in part 3. wouldve been very Lestat. ALSO this includes the Moorish shoes!!! i think they tie in his themes and design SO WELL and im tired of people clowning on them

His impact on the story! Dio Brando really, truly is That Guy™️ i love that he continuously haunts the narrative (at least in parts 1-6) and even with Diego, who is a different character, but still undeniably Dio. just as a reader/watcher getting through the ENTIRE old universe and finally feeling like dio and his mess is done forever just for Diego to show up in part 7 is just really funny to me, esp with how similar Diego is to Dio as opposed to Johnny and Jonathan or really a lot of the other counterparts. You can't get rid of him.

I thank Araki every day for that character sheet he released last year bc Dio intending to have a soft voice is SO GOOD to me. like i love both anime performances a ton and they're iconic and fit the whole over the top theme of it all, but big, scary, villains with smooth, level, soft voices is my kryptonite 😩 ive thought of it before, but if i had to pick like. an actual more "realistic" voice claim for him it would be Harry Lloyd👀 loved him in game of thrones, and his character voice wise in that def has RANGE like ii think dio would have, but he also does audiobooks and they're SO lovely to listen to💖

The way Araki ties him to the Arts, as pretentious as that sounds💀 i think depicting him as someone who appreciates art, literature, and philosophy makes him SO FUN to play with from a fan/creator perspective. i feel like it's a great way to toy around with other bits of symbolism and really expand on him in art and fics.

throwing in a sixth, but i like his dumb face unfortunately!!! Sorry i know this is a shock to all!!! but esp his character model in asbr/over heaven.........so handsome😔 THAT is pookie right there

in conclusion hes alright ig🙄🤚

[lowkeyclueless5137]

I just realize something. It’s about that clown invasion. While you did talk about general and omnitrix user plus their one ally. Not only we didn’t get to see the rest of that stuff aka how exactly did the omnitrix user and their own ally gave Zombozo the what for, but also how the rest of the twst cast was handling when it happened, how they got affected, their time as a clown zombie, before going back to normal and dealing with its aftermath(Professor Crewel needs to have some words too cause AHEM, how can you pass up how much of a nightmare fuel it was for him with all those fashion disasters plus the clown Vargas and Clown Crowley. Heck even the rest of the staff too when it came to the “come one, come all” clown zombies). Also please tell me Ortho didn’t also get turned into a clown zombie in Omnitrix Idia’s world cause uhhh that’s the last thing Omnitrix Idia needs to see at that moment(but also give him a bunch of more reasons to punt Zombozo a lot).

Clown Vargas, our saviour-

I believe I said a few times that Zombozo is getting beat-up in the end and I also discussed some of the Aftermath... Maybe my memory I'd deceiving me... But I swear I at least mentioned about the Aftermath a bit at least.

As such, how it starts? Well, with a bang! Zombozo presents himself as a 'humble ambulant performer'. Crowley welcomes him in as for the promise of 'totally free entertaiment for the young students and revitalising their spirits'.

So of course, the students are all called to see the performance via Crowley trying to be 'gracious'. Staff are also put to participate in 'hopes it will cheer them up too'. (Crewel is cracking his wip on crow man later)

Cue our hero of choice and their choosen ally(Idia is an exception since Malleus was not invited and idia himself was in his room, not interested in it) Don't participate for the sole idea that it is a perfect oportunity to train a bit more with the omnitrix, while everyone else is at a few hours long spectacle that crowley won't allow them to ditch.

So we get the epic brainwashing and horror movie vibes. The brainwashing is all in one go and the aftermath of it is baiscally clown hell.

When brainwashed, they are just puppets that attack anyone who is not clownified. They don't know any reason and can't be snapped out of it, for the sole purpose of angst :D

Going back to the normal doesn't mean that the clown makeup is dissapearing, so there is a lot of screaming, punching in between them and crying. For as such, the hero and ally also have to embrace a clown costume to just blend in. Crewel INSISTS on wiping off each and everyone's clown makeup and burning those god awful clown costumes. :'3

[narrators-journal]

Sexual healing

I hope this has enough spanking in it, I’m never too sure how to make spanking HOT enough lol. I at least had a fun time writing it? I know it’s not particularly LOVING, but tbh I always got the vibe from Machi that she was a lesbian, so I mayyyy have made a colder bitch than Illumi lmao. Other than that, just another Ao3 ask!

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober Masterlist: Here

CW: Spanking, Hisoka gets pegged, handcuffs are included. I may not have focused on the prompt, but it is spicy regardless!

Feitan and Uvogin? Healed. Dinner? Had. The members of the phantom troupe? Accounted for, and in one piece. All around, Machi Komacine considered her night free to herself. After all, her usual thorns in the side were either drunkenly passed out, or dealt with after that day’s mission. Plus! Hisoka Morrow, the painted, colorful bastard, wasn’t included in this job! She was free of him and his mind games.

So, taking down her light pink hair from its usual fluffy ponytail, Machi slipped into her sleeping bag, letting out a content sigh when the blissful comfort of a mattress seemed to turn her bones into jelly. After so long af sleeping in abandoned buildings or stolen cars, the healer didn’t care about the creaky, cheap mattress. It was a mattress.

Yet, an early bedtime wasn’t in the cards. Judging from the sickly familiar pattern of knocks at her door. Grimacing, the healer rolled over so that her back was to the door. Firmly ignoring it, only for the bastard to sing, “Macha~ Be a dear and let me in~”

So, with a mix of a sigh and a groan, Machi unzipped her sleeping bag and basically threw herself from the cheap hotel bed to stomp over and rip the door nearly off the hinges. “What the fuck do you want, Morrow? Why are you even here?” She spat, sapphire eyes narrowing darkly as she glared into those snake-yellow, smug eyes staring down at her. “I missed you! So, I came to find you.” Was the sappy response Hisoka gave, batting his lashes at her, jesus christ she’d kill for lashes that thick, and playing sweet. But, the sugar made Machi’s stomach churn. “Fuck off.” she spat again, trying to slam the door in the clown’s face. However, he was quicker, and got his foot in the door before she could entirely shut him out. ”Oh come on, Machi! Let me in, I’ll make my visit quick.” He promised, unbothered by the woman throwing her weight into the door to try and force his foot out of the way. Until, finally, she gave another groan and just caved, going back to the bed to pack up her sleeping bag. And, when she turned around, sure enough, the tall psychopath had followed her in.

The silence of his movements brought a shudder, but the healer bottled it up, knowing that any sign of how much Hisoka scared her would draw out whatever game he wanted to play, or demand he had for her. So, she turned her attention to tying her long hair back into its usual style. “Alright. What do you need sewn up.” She said coolly, ignoring how close he was to trapping her between the bed and his well-muscled body as she walked over to her duffle bag to dig out the pin cushion she kept her needles in. Making a conscious choice to crouch down instead of bend when she did. “Nothing,” He hummed, his syrupy tone dropped in favor of a more bored one. A glance over her shoulder revealing that the clown had gone from flirtatious, to more casual. Which, only meant one thing. “God damn it, Hisoka. Don’t you have a boytoy or something?! Some poor bitch you’ve baby trapped?” She snapped, standing up to glare at him again, her hands on her hips like an annoyed mother. Yet, her harsh tone didn’t seem to phase the pink-haired man, barely getting him to lift his yellow eyes from some mystery stain on his outfit. “No, everyone else is so boring. And Illumi said that if I try to bargain for sex a second time, he’d put a needle in my urethra.” He sighed, pouting at her like he wanted her sympathy for that.

Which, Machi did show. After all, while the phantom troupe were a ballsy pack of villains, even they were scared of crossing the Zoldyck family. And, personally, Illumi Zoldyck was Machi’s personal nightmare. With bottomless, soulless pits for eyes, suffocating nen that he used for a terrifying ability, and such a clinical, almost robotic personality, Machi would sooner face the devil than that man.

Though, on some level, maybe the devil was a far more likely encounter than people normally had. After all, he currently sat on her bed, giving her puppy dog eyes.

So, with a long sigh, Machi pinched the bridge of her nose, gritting her teeth in pure annoyance. “Fine. But I’m gagging you.” She told the tall man, getting a thousand watt smile that would’ve been charming if it was from anyone else. But, that aside, the healer simply turned back to her dufflebag to fish out some handcuffs, ball gag, and a vibrantly purple strap on that she kept for a more desirable partner.

By the time she turned back to Hisoka, he was already naked. His vest and pants were torn off as if he was some bachelorette stripper rather than a murderous psycho, but she didn’t bother questioning his speed or skill with stripping down. “Get on the bed. Face down, and put your hands out like usual.” she ordered, watching the scarred man eagerly climb onto the cheap, creaky bed, his ass already in the air. Machi coming over to cuff his wrists together once he was in position. “Open.” she added, a little perturbed by how readily Hisoka opened his mouth to let her put the thick rubber ball in his mouth and secure it around his head. Or, maybe it was the glitter of lust sparkling in his yellow eyes, either way, she didn’t know how to feel.

Regardless of that, though, she just went about the usual steps of their ‘hook ups’, as Hisoka called these meetings. Strolling down to the foot of the bed to kick off her sleep shorts and pull on the base of her sex toy, ensuring the silicone dildo was secure before moving to stand behind him, staring down at the round rump eagerly awaiting whatever she was going to do.

It wasn’t a surprise that Hisoka was so horny for whatever sex he could get, but it still somewhat annoyed the healer that he was so okay with being pegged, and, even after her setting such a firm rule on that being her only form of sexual contact with him, him asking for it.

"You really need to find someone else to 'scratch your itch'." Machi huffed, slapping the homicidal clown's ass, knowing well enough that he couldn't answer through the gag she'd tied in his mouth. "Like a prostitute."

Despite her complaints, though, the woman gave another slap to Hisoka's ass. At least enjoying the chance to cause the annoying bastard some pain for all of the healing he demands of her, and his general flirty pestering. If he got some sense of pleasure out of her strikes, that was up to him, but for her, the sight of the powerful man on his belly, handcuffed to the bed posts with a ball gag keeping him silent was more cathartic than arousing. But, if it kept him from dragging himself to her for free healing, she was willing to tolerate his sexual appetite.

So, she grabbed the bottle of lube and stroked a thin layer of it onto the pink silicone strap on she wore. Then, she simply lined herself up and pushed into Hisoka, thanking whatever god there was that he had been gagged when he let out a pornographic moan.

But, she ignored his theatrics and simply grabbed onto his hips when he pushed back against her and began moving. Tuning out each lustful noise and letting the pink-haired man push his ass back to meet her thrusts eagerly, only focusing on humping into him and pacing herself. After all, the last time she’d rushed one of their ‘hook up’, Hisoka had whined and purposely increased her work load to spite her. So, she made sure her thrusts alternated between slow, deep movements, and quicker ones.

Plunging the pink toy into Hisoka, clawing into his scarred skin, and sprinkling in a few harsh slaps to the meat of his ass, Machi still found no pleasure in her companion, but she did feel a small seed of pride and power sprout in her chest. After all, while Hisoka Morrow was far too annoying and deranged for her to consider dating him, he was still insanely powerful. He almost never stopped training and pushing himself, which the pink-haired woman would’ve respected far more if he wasn’t so...indescriminate with that drive. So, while she did hold a bit of respect for his fighting abilities, and maybe a little for his sadistic joy, there were simply too many factors for the woman to get more than an ego boost out of the sexual aspect of their meetings.

Finally pulling herself out of that rabbit hole, Machi let out a slow breath and focused back in on the man she had tied down on the hotel bed. Noting his dishevelled pink hair, sweat-beaded skin, and muffled, needy moans as she lifted her hand and landed another severe blow to his, surely sore by that point, ass again, getting a more emphatic moan in response. Which, she took as a good sign and switched to a faster pace. The mulling over of Hisoka’s ambiguous, confusing signals could be pushed off for the time being. For now, she focused on the joy she got out of leaving an angry patch of red on the scarred man’s ass as she fucked him.

[niehaused]

So I'm visiting the city where I studied during uni and on Friday I went to see my crush's band play, she gave me a lift there and back from the event, then next day I invited her to have breakfast together (I treated her to breakfast because I wanted to and because she didn't let me pay for the admittance fee to see her play, she asked me if I wanted to be her plus one, since the band gets a free ticket for every musician) and we lost track of time talking, then she drove me to where I'm staying and mentioned she was going to be playing in a nearby city, and asked if I wanted to tag along. I asked a good friend for advice, I was undecided, I ended up not going because I already had a date with someone that evening. So I declined, and my date stood me up. So I passed on the chance to have what kinda felt like one of those classic lesbian date-ish 24hrs plus outings. But my reasons for saying no is that we're acquaintances and she just got out of a relationship and we live in different cities and I've no idea if she even likes me as anything other than a potential friend. Anyways absolute clown behavior on my part. Because we love clowning on this blog. Just needed to put this out on the world because, damn does it feel I made a mistake

[fruitsilly]

10 people you want to know better (tagged ppl are under no obligation to do this <3!!)

thank you jude @pansyfem for tagging me! this looks like fun :3

relationship status: single, but heavily lushing/meshing (the sensual/alterous equivalents of crushing respectively) on this guy in my class at uni rn. and i really. Really want him to be my boyfriend holy fucking shit he's so cute. anyways. i also have a milder squish on a girl who's also in my class. i have two exes but i am aromantic and since they were romantic relationships which needed reciprocation they didn't work out. i am still friends with one of my exes (who's also arospec) tho so it's all good!! :•D

favourite colours: my top 5 fave colours are

green

purple

pink

yellow

blue

in that order :)

favourite foods: ough pasta. any kind of pasta really but i am especially partial to lasagne. i also love cheese and pizza. oh and how could i forget!!! millionaire's shortbread!!

song stuck in my head: TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!! although before this it was the borgia family horrible histories song :)

last thing you googled: i use firefox bc im swag so technically i duckduckgo'ed this Anyways. i searched for the tv show "you" bc i saw a gifset from that show featuring a lady i am incredibly bi for and i was like 👀 will i have to watch this now

time: 9.32PM (im gonna write the time of posting this bc i wrote this in my notes app)

dream trip: spain or scotland!! spain bc im learning spanish and scotland bc it's just such a lovely country <3

last thing you read: "the children" by lucy kirkwood! it's a play im reading for my course :)

last book you enjoyed reading: ugh i haven't had the capacity to actually sit down and read a physical book for... too long it's been ages. it's mostly to do with my disabilities and time :( i started reading good omens on my phone but i didn't finish it (i like it so much better than the show lmao). but the actual physical book i read last was "death sets sail" by robin stevens, the final book in her "murder most unladylike" series. ough. ive been with that book series from literally the very beginning. id highly recommend 👍

favourite thing to cook/bake: sadly i don't do enough cooking or baking to know but what i have made is fudge which was quite fun! ive also made a delicious cheesy pasta bake hehe

favourite craft to do in your free time: again. i haven't had the capacity or time to actually make any art since like... march, so, 7 months. yeesh. i miss making digital art. id like to pick it up again but idk when that'll be. id also like to try and get a badge maker bc i have loads of ideas but ugh time is a problem. im just so busy at uni.

most niche dislike: im sure there's Something since im autistic and autism is the Strong Opinions Disorder but nothing's coming to me atm [shrugs]

opinion on circuses: ive only been to one in my life and i really enjoyed it apart from the clowns who i found scary but i was like 8 i think. im less scared of clowns now. also the general aesthetics of them fuck severely

do you have any sense of direction: hardly lol! i have a great photographic memory so even going a certain route once with someone who knows the way i can remember it HOWEVER i am utter shit at finding my way with a map on my own. google maps is always open when im trying to find a place and even then i frequently go in the wrong direction or miss a turning. i just cannot translate distance on a digital map to irl distance. don't even get me started on using a traditional map bc g-d above. id end up more lost than i was before. im excellent at just confusing the hell out of myself <3

tagging: @sillyspooky @skylightz @bromantically @transgenderpolyhedrals @folderone @gir-posting @nvr-pass-spookier-version @heartslobbf @taikacohen @laymedowninsheetsoflinen (plus anyone who sees this and wants to do it just say i tagged you ^_^). again no obligation to do this !! :)

[creepypasta-archive]

Sam

by DATGUY66

This broke me. To this day I've still not been able to figure out what the fuck is this story about. It feels like something you'd see in a dream and have an aneurysm trying to read.

CW// Spooky Jeff image at the header with a knife near it's face, bullying, knife, implied slurs??

Click below to read the original unedited story

Sam was always known to push the envelope, but now something had just gone completely wrong.

Nobody liked Sam — he was the nerd. He always sat in the corner of the classroom, studying and studying. He got bullied a good amount of times, and was always being pushed around and stepped on.

The worst part was that he was my friend.

I was on fairly higher ranks than Sam, but being friends with an absolute geek would come in costly. I would sometimes be bullied, too, and I wished I was friends with somebody else — but the only reason I was his friend was because I felt bad for the poor lad.

Well, everyone did. Whenever he walked around the school corridor, kids would laugh and point, insulting him and saying things like “Hey everybody look, it’s Sommy!” and everyone would laugh. I would try to hide my giggles, but it was impossible, Sam was just so pathetic and tiny. I could easily push him into the dirt.

Of course, I grew up knowing Sam would probably work as a retail clerk or something, but his good education and file of knowledge had suggested different.

I, myself was very smart, but what made Sam bullied was mostly his appearance. He would wear a pin-striped button T’shirt, along with clacker trousers and really big and circular glasses, which made his eyes look bigger than they really were.

Usually, he had to replace his glasses, because nearly everyday he’d be tripped (by some kid) or punched in the face, and of course damaging his glasses. Sam never really cared about what people thought though, and so did our history teacher. When Sam would sit quietly in the corner, studying, kids would most likely call him a “dumb ox,” but then our teacher would say, “You call him a dumb ox now, but he could revolutionize modern science.”

I knew she was probably right, but that didn’t make the insults die down. As years passed, Sam’s insults would get ruder and more harsh — and one new kid began using some words that would send him to the principle’s office if he got caught using them. During lunch, I felt really bad for Sam. The cafeteria prices were raised through the roof — and we couldn’t bring our own lunch.

Plus, Sam always forgot to bring his money. But the adults who served the food at the cafeteria had sympathy for Sam, and would give him lunch for free. Well, only because THEY felt sorry for him. Of course, some kid would trip him or push his face into the mashed potatoes, so he’d be extra hungry when we left.

Whenever Sam sat somewhere, all the girls would move to the opposite side. I even once heard one of them say, “Scrawny little guy, his life’s probably a living nightmare!” I had actually told the principle about this.

One night, me and Sam were walking from school, and then I spotted something shiny in the forest. There was actually a huge forest realm right beside our school, so afterwards or in recess we would go there and have our “Epic Adventures.”

Sam was reluctant, but said “alright” and we went in. It was very dark and shady — there were no nature trails, nothing. Then, as soon as the shiny object got closer into sight, I immediately realized it was a knife.

“Why would a knife be there?” Sam said as he inched over to it.

“I don’t know!”

I grabbed it — and then another hand grabbed it… not Sam’s…. but a figure that almost like that of a clown. It had black tangled hair… a long bloody smile… but worst of all those eyes… they beamed into my soul. I stumbled back, staring at the man….. and then he lunged at me, stabbing me ‘til blood was running down on the ground. “... Sam… helpp…”

But he just ran away, screaming. The fourth time he stabbed me, I was knocked out cold.

Then I befriended Sam.

[thenookienostradamus]

Fics

Hey look, @spiced-wine-fic! I'm doing the thing! Thank you so much for tagging me!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass it to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

I don't know that I could pick a favorite-favorite, or five, but here are a few that I like and the reasons why.

Exit Music (Detroit: Become Human, AU, 147K words). OK I lied. I can pick a favorite and this is it. The fic of my heart. I purloined the characters and dropped them into a time, place, and plot of my own invention. In fact, I liked it so much that I turned it into an original novel (which diverges pretty widely from the fic). It's got a 100k-word slow burn...and by "slow burn" I mean lots of intervening plot.

Of Monsters and Men (The Alienist [TV], final fic of a 4-part series). I am addicted to the trope of Emotionally Stunted Idiots Figuring Out Feelings. Uh, in fiction. The repressive atmosphere of late 19th-century America was a perfect milieu in which to explore taboo. Plus it's a casefic, which as a big fan of good procedurals, is my favorite kind of fic.

All The Wrong Places (Preacher [TV], one-shot, 19k words). Speaking of emotionally stunted idiots... This one's a casefic, too, meant to read as an adjunct episode of the show. It involves one of my fave legends, The Axeman of New Orleans. I also got to play with one of my favorite archetypal characters: the Sad Vampire. Like, if you don't think the concept of immortality is terrifying, I can't help you. The loneliness, the isolation, the moments losing meaning...yikes. Sad vampires > sexy vampires.

Do Droids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Star Wars sequels, AU, 42K words). Of course it's a Blade Runner AU, because Blade Runner. I will talk your ear directly off about that film (and why the purported "sequel" is a clown show travesty that betrayed everything that was unique about the first one). But I digress! A lot of it goes down the same, only I couldn't kill Rey, Finn, and Poe (the rogue replicants) because come ON. That's just mean. Everybody lives.

The Unresisting Heart (The Silmarillion, WIP). Yes, it's unfinished - though it will be finished. I don't know if it's among my favorites, and I'll be the first to admit that writing-wise it's a bit uneven, but I'm having fun playing around with language and style. Plus, I get to write my Silm favorite, Maglor the Murder Musician.

Not sure I can tag writers that haven't been tagged, but please feel free to self-rec. I, uh, recommend it?

[slasher-sweetie]

Hi, may I request a match up?

My appearance: I’m 5’5 and plus size (I carry a lot of my weight in my thighs and stomach). I have tan skin. I have curly, black hair that’s cut into an undercut. I wear black square glasses. I also have brown eyes and a few freckles scattered around my nose and eyelids.

My personality: I’m an ambivert. I’m extremely shy around new people and I’ve very closeted in. However, in places where I’m comfortable I can be quite outgoing and loud. Once I get warmed up to somebody new, I can talk to them for hours.

I’m a very calm person. Even when I’m anxious or stressed I don’t really ever crack under pressure. It takes a lot to upset me and it takes a lot more to make me angry. Also, when I do get angry, I cry.

My hobbies: My main two hobbies are cosplaying and art. I draw, paint, etc. and I have been since a really young age. Cosplay actually made me realize that I’m really passionate about FX makeup and that’s what I go to school for now. I also love listening to music. I listen to pretty much every genre. I also love to write a LOT.

And here’s some random facts: I was in theatre throughout high school and I was in choir for half of high school. My favorite singers are David Bowie, Prince, and Lady Gaga. Horror is my favorite genre. I’m a scare actor and my local haunt usually cast me as a clown. My favorite colors are red and black.

Thank you so much and I love your account! 🖤🖤🖤

You're so sweet! I love YOU, anon. 🖤

Okay, so, out of your information, the fact that you work at a haunt really jumped out at me. The intricacies of a haunt, and the different levels of a scare really reminded me of someone. That someone is Amanda Young, Jigsaw's accomplice in the first three Saw movies. She knows a thing or two about coming up with horrifying scenarios to test the lost souls of the world. She could relate with you artistically, except I hope your haunt doesn't put people through a harrowing trial that ends in life or death. 👀

The autumn air had a refreshing chill as it whipped Amanda's hair around her face. The two of you were currently outside, taking spray paint to one of the backdrop walls that would be featured at your local haunt. You had been tasked to create something that the patrons could take selfies in front of, a bid at some free advertising on people's social media pages.

The haunt had chosen something a little different this year, not exactly scary, but an homage to the Universal Classic Horror Films; Dracula, The Wolf Man, Frankenstein, The Mummy, they were all being honored this year.

Amanda was especially excited to help you out, as she and John had spent hours bonding over the Universal Classics before he passed. Having this time with you was beyond special, and as the two of you worked together on making life-size copies of the Universal Monsters, she couldn't help but wish John was here to see it.

You noticed her sadness, it was as if the two of you were tethered to eachother, so neither of you could hide what you were feeling. You put down your paint brush, the chalky green/gray of Frankenstein's skin had dripped onto your hands and dried, making it seem as if you were slowly turning into the scientist's next wayward creation.

You approached Amanda, nudging her softly with your shoulder, "You alright, Mandy?"

She nodded, giving you a soft smile, "Yes... I just... I just wish he could see all this, and that he could have met you. He'd be so happy for me, and he would have had a blast here."

You wrapped her in a hug, pulling her close, "He knows, Mandy. He's always with you."

Your words provided a comfort that Amanda didn't know she needed. Leaning forward she pressed a soft kiss to your lips, "You're right. Thank you. I have no idea what I'd do without you."

"I don't know either," you confessed, shooting her a teasing grin, "But I do know what you're going to do with me. We're going to design the coolest backdrop you've ever seen, and then later, we can go to the warehouse."

Amanda immediately lit up at the prospect of going to the place where John's legacy lived on. You never shied away from helping her come up with inventive ways to set up tests. Your support meant everything to her.

"You know what? You're perfect," she declared, getting back to her painting.

You could feel a faint blush tinge your cheeks, "Well, not as perfect as you."

The two of you went back and forth for a while, until you decided to call a truce and really focus on getting to work.

On Halloween night, when people lined up to take pictures with your work, you both had to admit that it really was the coolest backdrop the two of you had ever seen.

[zooterchet]

Murders of Foreign Teamster Agents (Dissenting Catholics Against Police Unions)

Russian Forces Defeated (Reason: Likud Muskau, Wares on Refusal to Own, Fraud Trials):

Armenian-Mob, Suspect Carlin Sarkesian. Died of pork hot dog burning on frying pan, couldn't pass bowels. Meneitsch al-Shetvietz. Found with an overdose of ibutephrine, craving for cigarettes or overdose on heroin, in the left cerebrum. Parents used it to invent Narcodan, treatment for heroin users, with nicotine substrate, later lithium pipe cigarettes, the "vape". Did it for free, they've got a dead kid. Napster's Outta Here. Detroit-IDF, Suspect Phil Enfield. Died of prison beating, screaming that Spider-Man was a pedophile. Borf al-Shadan. Samurai shamed, after Prince William's response, outing royal families of Europe as being under Japanese control, of Uma Thurman's line. Insane Clown Posse shut down, militarized outside of MI-6. Now a rogue unit. No more clowns on preaching day. Amsterdam NOMRL hunt team, Pirate Bay. Suspect Keith Valesquez Died of Raid spray, produced from Amsterdam Labs, sprayed on marijuana, "mids grades", taken from a local tobacco rice farm. Sprays discovered as reason for toxic weed. Menschen Menschen Al-Menescheitvz. Marijuana legalized, for safety. Three suicides, plus one motor vehicle gorge. Me. Survived. King Herod, returns.

Canadian Forces Defeated (Reason: Conscription considered law through rumor of Fenian Brotherhood, Fox News Cable; Conscription illegal, since 1776, establishment of US Congress and US Executive Office):

Nick Maynard is in a fugue state, Josh Moen is an inebriate from cocaine and crack usage, Ryan Cunningham has a rape tattoo across his shoulders, Brian Monaghan is on medication for Down's Syndrome, Ivan Tomasic has the phantom illusion of a gun to his head as a Damocles, Christopher Sweeney has a learning inability to understand others he manages, Justin Walsh is a heroin addict that reports sobriety as using heroin, Stephanie Tomasic is an FRU inside Planned Parenthood, Travis Long lost his liver function, Bernice Lamb is a Roxycodone victim.

British Forces Defeated (Reason: Psychiatric panels used on children in families forced homosexual, homosexual considered inappropriate touching or hugging or gripping between families and to children, child molestation and pederasty, however still married heterosexual, without striking or arrest for homosexual displays of dominance):

Weinstein’s on Nolan, Soros is on Ubisoft, Bonosorno has Army Reserve casualties, Barack Obama  is on a flying buttress, Dogg the Bounty Hunter can’t find the Patracas, Hillary has a Jethro Tull Flowchart from Marilyn Manson, and Netanyahu killed the other Whitey (that’s bug eyes).

Israeli Forces Defeated  (Reason: Assumption of fealty for pederast overture towards child or adult, through marker of possession or sight of witness, violation of chattel slavery laws, Union, Civil War):

Anatole Marcinault: Proven to be a spy posing as a gangster for INTERPOL, revealed to Georgette Charlebois and executed by priests.

Timothy Kierney: Informed to his mother that he had mooned me with greasy orange shit in his ass crack, placed in juvenile incarceration for the mentally deficient.

Rory McCochrane: Tricked into creating the term pillow biter, regarding a boy pillow fighting, framed self of pedophilia and placed in juvenile incarceration, film Batman Forever made for him with him as Batman, shown in corrections, revealed to be Riddler because he did not smoke cigarettes; Batman invented the cotton tobacco filter, my family's pedigree (as well as the neutron bomb hood, my creation, 6th grade, held by the Canadian Defense Industry).

Rabbi Gezneck: Placed in charge of Student Union Internationale for Hillel House, biotropic foods department, vegan and dairy from whole fat calf of dog's rind (sheep hound).

African Forces Defeated (Reason: Assumption of sexual relationship, for viewing the buttocks or breasts, promiscuous conduct disorder, female rapist, protected by ignorance of negro community):

Christine Warren: Back chiseled out of lower ligament, caused by snake charmer’s gene, listening to Guns’n’Roses, “You Could be Mine”.

Cassie Leigh Stock: Violent overdose on Wild Turkey, masturbating to ass worship porn for 8-9 hours.

Jenna Williamson: Hot air balloon into power lines, revealed that You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle, was her arch-nemesis, House of Montague; Capulets lose, Jenna has a peg leg.  Pirates win, Tom Brady goes to the Buccaneers.