#plus perfectionism doesn’t help.

[what-stasis]

If you're wondering why 2 prompts have not been done from me, uh....

School cuts my hours in half

[obae-me]

Overtired obey me characters? Over tired obey me characters.

Overtired Obey Me characters? Hmm yes yes, this is very good, a very good image indeed. I’ve included little blurbs for all the characters minus mephisto, thirteen, and raphiel! 

--

Lucifer is well known for this. It always seems that he runs entirely on coffee and spite. Taking care of his brothers and helping Diavolo run a kingdom isn’t exactly the lightest of workloads, and with his perfectionism, he’ll stop short of nothing of exemplary. Of course, in doing so, he often neglects his own needs, sometimes believing that he’s simply controlling himself by not giving into temptation like his brothers. Perhaps just an excuse he tells himself to push himself to work harder. It doesn’t always spiral out of hand, he tends to know his limits, but there are days that are worse than others. Days when he’s so tired he’ll go to the kitchen to finally fetch himself some food only to forget why he went there in the first place, walking out with simply a cup of tea or coffee instead. Other days he’ll refuse to sleep until his paperwork is done, falling asleep at his desk as soon as he signs his signature on the last page, missing breakfast the next morning.

He’s softer when he’s exhausted, his more hidden feelings coming to light, the burning Pride faltering as he has no further energy to fuel his sin’s flame. Grumpiness and irritation takes more vivacity than it seems, so he doesn’t even have the wherewithal for those emotions. He’ll misplace things, wander confused around the halls, speak in a tone so soft it almost scares his brothers more than when he sounds frustrated. Even the Anti-Lucifer League can hardly find it in them to mess with him when he’s this gone. It’s no fun pranking him anyway when he’ll hardly react to it... Plus if they get too close, he might coddle them, and that’s the last thing they want. 

His brothers do try to help, even the...disgruntled ones. Who knows how that relaxing book of poems and the stray pillow landed in Lucifer’s office? Mammon does what he does best. Stealing. Where did Lucifer’s paperwork go? Who knows? Maybe Lucifer would find them the next morning. Beel makes sure Lucifer eats, ensuring it makes the body warm and tired. Why does the House smell like comforting lavender and chamomile? Asmo certainly didn’t have a hand in that. Of course not.  

He’s usually quite intuitive when it comes to his brothers antics, but by the time he figures out they’re all coaxing him to sleep, it’s too late. Heavy eyelids can only stay open for so long. He struggles with his pride, trying to determine whether it’s better to finally give in, sleeping in his bed for once, or sticking out as long as he can, falling asleep in his office chair or one of the House’s many couches. If he doesn’t manage to make it to bed, he’ll find himself there when he wakes up with no memory of actually getting in on his own, although none of the brothers will admit to moving him, keeping his Pride intact...mostly.

--

Mammon being exhausted is a pretty rare sight. Everyone always jokes about how much they wish he would just sit down and be quiet, leave them alone, stay out of trouble. It’s not until he actually does that everyone becomes concerned. It’s very uncommon, but not unheard of. He does work part-time jobs to earn more money, not including his photoshoots he has fairly often. Both of those, plus classes, plus dealing with Lucifer’s punishments, plus his brothers constant beratements, plus taking the time to keep an eye on his siblings even if they’re unaware he is...it can make even the Great Mammon run ragged. While the brothers might constantly say that they wish for the day their greedy brother takes things seriously...it’s only because they’re terrified when it does happen. And it does happen. 

When he’s overtired, everyone is suddenly reminded who the second-oldest truly is. When it comes down to the wire, time is money, and when he’s pushed too far, he won’t waste his energy. No jokes. No distractions. He will order his brothers around if they bother him, telling them to be quiet, to stop fighting, to leave him alone, all with too much of a serious tone in his eyes. They all listen. You never mess around with the happy-go-lucky person when they suddenly become gravely stern. He gets snappy, stressed, tense, resembling Lucifer a little too much. It bothers everyone, including the eldest, who would much rather have his typical little brother back despite the trouble he can get himself into. 

So, they pamper him. Something they would never do under normal circumstances, Mammon being Greed after all, but when he gets like this, feeding his Greed is the best way to get him back to normal. They’ll give him small gifts, ones that have more meaning behind them rather than monetary value. All the while, they give him little bits of praise, chipping away at the dour tones to his face, coaxing the loving fun-hearted Mammon to come through. They can’t stand seeing their big brother like this. It makes the House feel colder...quieter. Sometimes it takes a while, but after enough care, Mammon gives in, melting at the attention he’s been given. 

This is the only time he can seem to accept the love from his brothers without turning into a full tsundere. The brothers then take advantage of this, all encouraging him to sleep, before they all can get embarrassed by his genuine affection. But the Greed tempts him to stay awake. He wants more moments like these...Occasionally he’ll drag himself away on his own, but more often than not, Lucifer will be the one to force him to bed, leading him away with a simple hand on his shoulder. Mammon won’t fight him on this. He’ll remember every detail and keep it close to his heart...and desperately deny out-loud having any knowledge of any of that ever happening. 

--

Levi has hardly a healthy sleeping schedule anyway, if you can even call what he has a sleep schedule to begin with. Levi being tired is not out of the ordinary. Gaming, reading manga, on an anime binge, standing in line for something exclusive, there’s not enough hours in the day for him to do what he wants to do. He gets his energy back through energy drinks or taking AFK ‘breaks’ to take a twenty minute nap.  Somehow, against all odds, this usually works for him. However, it never lasts forever, there’s bound to be a wall for him to crash into. And when he crashes, he crashes hard. There’s a point when he crosses over from just being tired to being burnt-out completely, the passionate and excitable personality snuffed out. 

When he gets like this, he’s hardly recognizable. He gets apathetic. Silent. Unmotivated. It worries his brothers greatly. Sure, they can find his endless rants to be a bit draining, and when he drags them into raffles or contests sometimes they find themselves irritated at the inconvenience, but when he can no longer find the energy to care for anything? When he sits at the table and doesn’t bring a game down with him? When someone brings up TSL and he doesn’t even blink? It sends the house through a red alert. 

They all remember his favorite things, partially because in some deeper part of them, they do care, but also because more often than not, Levi ensures they can’t forget about it. So they try to pull it out of him, all of them almost sounding like a copy of Levi in their own right, each of them coming to him constantly to talk about the interests they share. Lucifer will come and ramble on about the interesting facts about the musical scores of certain games or movies. Mammon will come in and play video games with him. Satan will try to discuss plot points of manga stories. Asmo will dress him up in cosplay. Beel will talk about themed cafes he wants to visit, and Belphie will throw --sometimes quite literally-- Levi’s own plushies and character blankets at him. 

Even if he doesn’t realize it in the moment, it’s comforting for Levi to hear his brothers all talk about what he likes. He’s not been ignored, he’s not strange. They listen, and it’s not just for show. This lulls Levi to sleep little by little, mostly because he’s no longer as stressed, but also perhaps, because listening to all his brothers talk for so long exhausts him. He’s used to doing the talking, not receiving it. Either way, it works. He can fall asleep rather instantly, simply nodding off wherever he might be. One of the brothers, usually the older ones, takes him back to his room, comforted when they hear him mutter something about Ruri-chan in his sleep. 

--

Satan does his best to get proper rest. However, sometimes time does get the best of him. When you get into a good book, it can whisk you away, making you forget about everything else...including taking care of himself. He usually makes up for the lack of sleep by resting well the next night, so it’s not normally an issue. However, every so often, Satan will get ahold of a series, and well...that can lead to a few sleepless nights all in a row. Or he might stay up too late watching cat videos...or planning pranks for Lucifer. It’s rare to have Satan push himself so much that he’s just one step away from collapsing, but it does happen. When it does, the control that he works so hard to keep up slips from his fingers. It’s not always the wrath though, it’s any emotion. 

Once he gets to this point, his moods have the tendency to be all over the place, switching at any given time based off of any circumstance. He can be overly giddy at one moment, and then crying the next. People can only hope that the wrong thing doesn’t set him on a wrath rampage. With the hold on his control loosened, who knows the type of damage he can do if he gets angry? He always holds himself so maturely, people often forget he’s still one of the younger brothers. It’s easier to remember once he gets like this.

Walking on metaphorical egg-shells, each brother will attempt to stabilize his mood. It’s quite like giving attention to a cat, staying a little on edge for when the soft purrs might turn into sharp claws. If he’s crying, certain brothers will rush in to comfort him. Asmo and Beel are best for that. If he’s panicked, others specialize in using logic to calm him down. Lucifer and Belphie know how to better appeal to that side of him. If Satan is suddenly finding everything hysterical, Levi and Mammon find themselves capable of pulling him back down to earth, laughing along with him. And if Satan suddenly turns angry? It’s all hands on deck. Everyone has a special folder of cat photos and videos on their D.D.D. for Satan Emergencies. 

Unfortunately, none of them can try to get him to sleep until he does so on his own. Satan always secretly feels the need to prove himself, frustrated if anyone opposes his independence. The stubbornness of a middle child is an odd one indeed. The best way to handle this situation is to simply be there for him, making sure he’s cared for and no damage is done until his emotions burn him through completely. Sometimes they can encourage this process by making him listen to the sound of cats purring or even reading a book out loud for him so he can rest his eyes. Everyone can breathe a collective sigh of relief when Satan finally curls up asleep, sometimes in some odd corner of the House, finally peaceful. 

--

Asmo works hard to take good care of himself, sleep being one of those things. Sleep does plenty of good things for your body! His nightly self-care routine is one of his favorite parts of the day. But...he is one of the party animals of the family...and demons throw wild parties. Every so often, he’ll go days without sleep, going to a different party each night, because he can’t let down his adoring fans! Plus he can’t deny he adores the attention. But parties don’t last forever, and neither does Asmo’s energy or tolerance. ‘Too much of a good thing’ does in fact exist. Social media upkeep, fan-mail, meet-and-greets, research on trends, inventing new trends, constant attention, if he gets too much at once, he can fizzle. 

The days that Asmo is so exhausted he doesn’t want anyone to even look at him, you know it’s bad. It’s not even that he’s feeling self-conscious, it’s just that his lust has turned to disgust. Nothing’s cute anymore, just a pain, an eyesore. Don’t look at him, don’t touch him, don’t talk to him. Everything is overstimulating. Even the lights seem too bright. It bothers him. He gets snappy, crabby, going so far as to avoid his brothers and even the public to try to catch his breath and settle his muddled mind. It’s worrying to say the least, and all the brothers know that it’s in their best interest to get Asmo properly rested. Mostly because they care for him, but they also know that if Asmo quits pleasing the masses, there’s bound to be a riot at their door sooner rather than later. 

Caring for Asmo when he’s like this is a very delicate process. It has to be a proper balance of giving him plenty of space, but also taking care of him at the same time. They usually take turns, coming up to his door one at a time, plenty of space between visits. Typically, they simply knock at his door gently, knowing that he might not check his phone if they try to text him. None of them will say too much, just leaving things by his door to pick up when he feels like it. Sweet snacks, a warm cup of tea, a bouquet of flowers, sometimes little notes of encouragement...because even the most confident of people need that sometimes. No needless flattery or compliments, just little phrases of support. 

After enough personal time, he will get a bit lonely...perhaps very lonely. The next brother to knock will be pleasantly surprised when Asmo opens the door for them. He’ll rest willingly on his own...just not...alone. He wants someone there to comfort him while he sleeps. Even just having another body in the room helps him calm down. He loves himself, but there’s only so much warmth a reflection in the mirror can give. He might toss and turn for a while, a few tears slipping from his eyes, but if one of his brothers tuck him in, he’ll settle easier. With those little notes from his brother surrounding him, he’ll be reminded of how much he’s loved. Not just admired, but loved. He’ll sleep easier after that, the brother that’s with him turning off his lights. 

--

Beel might work out the hardest, but he hardly ever gets overtired. Belphie helps some in that aspect, making sure his twin gets plenty of rest. Besides, they share a room, so Beel makes sure not to stay up too late as to not disturb Belphie out of respect anyway. A full stomach --well, as full as his stomach can get-- and a good night’s sleep is important to physical health as well. If he wants to get stronger, he has to take care of himself, and part of physical training is knowing your limits. To be fair, Beel doesn’t really have any limits anyway...but that’s not to say they don’t exist. Maybe his gluttony kept him up too long, or he felt he needed endless training for an upcoming game. It’s very very rare...so much so that the brothers still don’t fully know what to do when it happens. 

He gets pretty mopey when he’s exhausted. Not even the thought of food makes him happy. Of course, he’s still hungry, so he’ll eat...just less than normal, and with a frown on his face rather than a content one. He’ll resemble Belphie a little too much, dragging his feet, endlessly sighing, tired of everything. Only, he knows he’s bigger and heavier than Belphie too, so he can’t even have the luxury of being carried around. That only makes him sadder. His brothers can’t stand to see him so upset, getting especially stunned if he ever turns away snacks. They get worried that he’s sick or cursed, not immediately coming to the conclusion that he’s simply exhausted. 

It doesn’t help that he won’t tell anyone what’s wrong either. He doesn’t want to make his family fret. He doesn’t want to look weak. Ultimately, Belphie can tell what’s going on. They do have a strange twin connection after all. Naps can wait when Beel’s health is on the line! Belphie has to make sure he helps his brother sleep, and make sure the rest of his brothers help him too! It’s the least he feels Beel deserves, seeing as how he takes care of the others so much. It’s time to give back! Even if eating doesn’t appeal to him like usual, they’ll make him his favorite meal, which of course is a huge banquet. They’ll sit down and eat together, and make sure there’s absolutely no fighting at the dinner-table. They all can control themselves enough for one meal at least. 

After dinner is a movie. Beel always does look happiest when they spend time together. Snacks are included, obviously, and everyone partakes. They’ll all try to sit as close to each other as they all can, making sure Beel is bundled up. They bring out hot chocolate, hoping a warm belly will lull him to sleep. Belphie is always the one to lean against his twin, falling asleep first, but he tries to get Beel to lean on him this time. He might feel like he’s being slightly crushed, but he can take it! With the support from his family, Beel will end up falling asleep, the strongest of the brothers working together to carry him to bed this time. 

--

Belphie is always tired. It comes with the title of Sloth. However because of that, he’s almost always sleeping anyway. It should be almost impossible for him to become overly fatigued. Not even Lucifer could force the youngest to stay awake for too long. At the slightest twinge of drowsiness, Belphie will fall asleep. He wont go out of his way to do anything too arduous. In fact, he prefers not to do anything taxing at all. There would have to be some pretty peculiar circumstances keeping Belphegor from getting rest. Perhaps a magical curse is keeping him from sleeping. Maybe anytime he closes his eyes, he has a nightmare that shocks him awake. It’s possible all of his other brothers aren’t getting enough sleep, so he feels his sin ten-fold. The amount of times this has happened probably still remains under single digits, and it’s probably best if it stays that way. 

He gets desperately clingy when he’s pushed too far. Sleep is all he wants, and he’ll take any measures to get it. He normally tries to act like his brothers are bothers, nothing more, only pulling the younger-sibling card when it benefits him, but when he’s burnt out, all that irritation goes out the window. He’ll run to any of his brothers, even Lucifer, although he’ll still try to keep the eldest as a last resort. He’ll cry, he’ll beg, he just needs some help to get proper rest. Please. Please, be quiet. Please hold him. Please carry him. He’s too tired to walk, too tired to eat, too tired to be angry at anyone. It’s almost painful, being this tired, directly conflicting his sin. 

All the brothers have a particular soft spot for him anyway, but they’ll especially do anything he asks when he’s like this. It doesn’t happen too often after all, and they all care for their baby brother. Little sibling perks, am I right? Since this is an unusual circumstance, they’ll all try to figure out the problem. A curse? Lucifer and Satan will figure out how to break it in record time, working together without complaints...mostly. Too loud? Suddenly the house will be deathly quiet. Not even Asmo and Mammon make too much noise. Plagued by restless nightmares? Well, they’ll all try to work together on that, making him feel comfortable, trying to ease his stressed mind. 

He’ll want for nothing. And despite his conflicted feelings on being babied, it’s...relaxing in a way at least. He is a bit upset about worrying Beel so much. His twin can hardly calm down when Belphie gets like this, meaning the House usually has two younger siblings to worry about at the same time. It’s perhaps to be expected though, seeing as how close they are. Beel wont rest until he’s sure Belphie does...so the only work Belphie has to focus on is trying to relax...even if that means relying on Lucifer too. He’ll never say it, but being in the eldest brother’s arms reminds him of Celestial Realm days...and maybe that bit of reassurance is all he needs sometimes...You better believe he’ll make up for it later with plenty of pranks in Lucifer’s direction when he wakes up. But...for now...he’ll let everyone take care of him. That way he can sleep gently for hours. 

--

Diavolo is always seemingly filled with energy. Sure, he works hard, but he has Barbatos and Lucifer looking after him constantly. It wouldn’t do to have the Prince of the Devildom dragging his feet. Sure, he might get away with one or two sleepless nights, but you can be sure he’ll be taken care of. He doesn’t always have the luxury of choice. That being said, he is rather clever, and occasionally he does find ways to get things done without his butler knowing about it. And if he gets extremely desperate...well...he has been known to have his own special grip on time. Perhaps he uses this tactic every once and a while to catch up on work. He doesn’t want to be stuck behind a desk forever. He wants to do fun things like the others do. If he pushes himself to accomplish everything at once, it’s possible it might even be a bit too much for the future ruler of the Devildom. 

At least when he gets too tired, it’s nothing too detrimental. He simply becomes...more mischievous. He is a tried-and-true demon after all. Having to be in control all the time...it’s no fun at all. The more exhausted he becomes, the more sick of being proper he gets. He wants to be a bit more carefree, he delights in hearing about what happens at the House of Lamentation all the time...So, he may cause...some problems. Nothing too serious, obviously, he’s not lost full control of himself. Things that are practically pranks, mostly harmless...mostly...And none of the student council nor the exchange students are completely safe. 

It takes everyone a while to understand who’s responsible for making Barbatos’ tea-time snacks unbearably sour, as well as making every room in the House and Hall upside down, and even mildly cursing everyone to speak backwards for a few hours. Lucifer and Barbatos are the first ones to figure it out, coming to the conclusion that their precious Prince must be extremely stressed or exhausted, or even a combination of the two. They figure the best way to calm him down is to give him what he wants. While all of them wish for no more pranks, they agree to spend some time with him, do something fun, play some games even. 

That’s all he really wants, is to feel more normal, not to be stuck doing endless paperwork and leading meetings. The last of his energy is spent playing games with the others, his pride saved as Barbatos and Lucifer lead him away before he collapses. The two demons wish they could’ve helped him before it got to this point, but everyone gets overtired sometimes. Not even royalty is exempt. It’s comforting to Diavolo knowing that this is something he can share with the others, as silly as bonding over being exhausted is. His little day of fun is at an end, drifting off to sleep comfortably, getting a royal amount of rest. 

--

Barbatos doesn’t sleep much. Not that he really needs to anyway. He’s one of those demons that can thrive on just a handful of hours of rest. After all, he’s a very busy demon, with too much to do, a ruler to care for. If he ever gets tired, he never shows it. No one hardly even sees him with his eyes closed. Besides, he takes care of himself very well. He can’t afford to get sick or burnt-out, what sort of butler would he be if he couldn’t do his job properly? Although, some things are bound to happen, and when you’re working that hard for centuries on end, most of the time refusing to take a break? Even someone as powerful as Barbatos is not completely immune to exhaustion. 

He does his best to hide his drowsiness, continuing work as normal, simply making little mistakes he would normally never make. To any other stranger, no one would have any clue anything was wrong. To those who know him, however, the littlest mistakes are telling. Awake half-an-hour after his usual wake-up time? Picking the wrong kind of tea in the morning? A single wrinkle on the back of one of his pant legs? Something must be very wrong indeed. He feels shame for even the smallest of these blunders. It’s not right for a royal butler to make such grievous errors. No one thinks he’s done wrong at all...However, Lucifer and Diavolo push for him to get some rest. He can’t exactly deny the Prince’s requests...and it would be better for him to simply step away and recuperate rather than continue to humiliate himself further. 

It’s not often he needs to focus on himself like this. He’ll lie down for about an hour, only to get up again, confused as to why he’s being ushered back to his room. Surely an hour is plenty of time? Or perhaps his mind is more rattled than he thought he was. At times, he borders on sleep-walking, getting up, unaware of what he’s doing, going around the hallways to dust the ornate frames of the castle’s many paintings or preparing to make Diavolo some snacks. Not many demons can make pastries while half-asleep, but Barbatos sure can. It gets to the point where he almost needs a guard at the door...to ensure he gets a full days rest. 

All the brothers are brought over from the House of Lamentation to help fulfill butler duties. It takes a lot of work to maintain a castle...The members of Purgatory Hall might be called to help as well. That way Barbatos can rest easy, knowing everything is taken care of. He does worry more than anyone realizes...which might be part of the reason why he’s been so exhausted as of late. Unchecked stress can do just as much harm as lack of sleep. He does feel a bit embarrassed being fretted over, but he can’t help but smile when Diavolo brings him sweets and tea in bed. It’s nearly perfect, and he can’t help but feel pride at the Young Lord’s attention to detail. He’ll sleep through most of the day, getting up bright and early the next morning, ready for another good few decades --if not centuries-- of hard work. 

--

Simeon goes through cycles of remaining well-rested and pushing himself too hard. He needs to remain a good influence on Luke, and he can’t do that if he doesn’t get proper sleep. However, as a writer and author, sometimes creativity strikes at the weirdest times. There’s plenty of nights where he’ll get that sudden strike of ideas, needing to get up to jot it down. Sometimes little snippets turn into full blown chapters. Besides, taking orders from Michael, keeping an eye on everyone at Purgatory Hall, caring for Luke, and keeping up his appearance as Christopher Peugeot...it can be a lot for one angel. It’s not very uncommon for Simeon to be so selfless he neglects his own needs, but the more everyone can help him avoid it, the better. 

When he gets too tired, suddenly the pleasant standard he holds himself too falls away. He’ll try to still remain polite, but it’s much harder. His smile is a deep frown. Any little inconvenience irritates him to a rather irrational amount. Ran into a doorframe? Dropped a pen? Hears someone speaking just the slightest bit too loud? He almost loses it, wrath taking over. He does try not to unleash his frustration towards anyone who doesn’t deserve it. He knows this much about himself to send Luke away, at least, asking that Solomon keep an eye on the little angel as he tries to sort himself out. Some cursing might be heard throughout the dorm after all. 

Sometimes he can get himself to rest just fine, getting just a calming cup of tea and some bedrest. Other times, he’ll need some assistance. He’s used to being the one to help, not needing the help, so he’s not always sure how to be selfish. Help is usually done more behind the scenes, trying not to let Simeon know who fully was involved in helping him out. Classes for Simeon are already canceled today? Those book-signing plans have already been perfectly rescheduled? Someone helped Luke with his homework? Dinner is already prepared--and don’t worry, not by Solomon. 

Seems everyone had a little hand in making sure Simeon was looked after. Despite being overly irritated, it warms his heart knowing that demons still have grace and compassion. He does feel a little embarrassed knowing that he let himself get this way, needing Solomon or Luke to be the ones to let everyone know how Simeon was faring. He appreciates having such caring roommates, though. He can’t march around being angry forever. He’s representing the Celestial Realm after all...and he can’t quite spurn the kind acts the others have taken to make sure he rests. So, he’ll put away the pen and paper, letting the responsibilities fall off his shoulders for a while as he sleeps deeply. 

--

Solomon tends to overdo it quite...frequently. He’s been down in the Devildom so long, dealing with demons so long, being alive so long...he can forget he’s still only human. It’s a harsh reality that makes itself known at least...once every few months. He’s quite terrible at making sure he sleeps properly. He’s always doing something after all, trying to expand his already vast collection of spells and knowledge. He’s not called Solomon the Wise for nothing after all. Although, you’d think for someone so ‘wise’, he’d have the wisdom to sleep properly in a bed, not trying to use spells or potions or mild curses to force himself to stay awake. Simeon does do his best to keep an eye on the human, but sometimes there’s only so much he can do to such a stubborn sorcerer. 

Although, he has a pretty interesting way of showing when he’s so sleep deprived, it’s getting dangerous. He gets pretty weepy, breaking down rather frequently. Being alive for so long is pretty taxing for the human mind...and being awake for so long has the tendency to make even the mysterious Solomon a bit of a mess. He can miss classes, skip meals, sit in a seat and stare out the window for hours. He does his best to hide it around the others, but everyone, especially the angels, can tell he’s gloomier than usual. It’s rather off-putting seeing someone often so entertained be so down. 

The other residents of Purgatory Hall are usually the ones to care for him, but every so often, some of the other demons might get involved. Only to...keep anything unfortunate from happening, surely. Asmo of course is the first to leap to the rescue! They are bound from a pact after all, he has to do his part. Barbatos usually steps in to make sure all is well too. It is within his duties to see that all the exchange students are in good health...and well, he too has duties as a pact-mate. They have to make sure Solomon’s projects and experiments are put aside for now, trying to find other things to distract him, to cheer him up, things that aren’t as taxing. Asmo will pamper him while Barbatos ensures he eats well, all the while Simeon and Luke comfort him, regaling him with fascinating stories of the Celestial Realm. 

It might take a while to get through to him, to bring him back to the present, trying to encourage him to put aside his vast past. The future still has plenty of secrets to hold. He has things to look forward to, mysteries to discover and things to learn. But he can’t do any of those if he’s so tired his hands are shaking. It’s...odd for him to be taken care of like this, he has only faint memories of his childhood, dreams that were lifetimes ago. However, this brings him some nostalgia, even if he can’t recall any details. He might finally make a joke about only sleeping if one of the demon brothers makes a pact with him. Of course, they all refuse, which was to be expected. But he can sleep peacefully at last, trying to hold onto every moment of these new memories while they’re still fresh in his mind. 

--

Luke used to hardly ever stay up too late. This would have to be more of a recent development. Like Simeon, Angels can’t be too selfish, making sure to have all things in moderation, which means knowing when to rest, stepping away from the world. Well, that’s what they’re told anyway. Plus, Luke is still young, so he can’t stay up too late anyway, whether because he gets tired on his own, or one of his many guardians puts him to bed. Every so often though, he’ll find a spark of rebellion. He knows as an adult you get to stay up late, he knows about all-nighters. And perhaps something in his adolescent mind began to associate late nights with being grown. He’ll tell the others he’s going to bed, only to force himself to stay awake, feeling no longer like a child as he does whatever he wants up till the early hours of the morning. Simeon and Solomon are typically none the wiser. Who would’ve thought the little angel would end up depriving himself of sleep? 

Everyone is able to tell the next day, however. It’s nearly painfully obvious when Luke sleeps in, only to whine when he’s woken up to get ready for classes. He almost falls asleep at the table for breakfast, nearly unable to keep his eyes open. Everyone is...torn on how to handle this. Half of them suggest keeping Luke home, making sure he gets sleep. The other half encourage Luke to attend classes anyway. If he wants to make those decisions, he has to deal with the consequences. It’s hard to enforce such rules when Luke rubs his eyes, trying to crawl into Simeon’s arms to fall asleep. The little angel practically cries, all that talk about being grown-up no longer as important as he felt it was. Being so tired is, well, exhausting. 

In the end, he misses classes, staying home. It would be rather dangerous for Luke to attend RAD in this state. Those who share classes with Luke will bring home copies of notes for him. Despite everyone who finds immense joy in teasing the chihuahua, they all come together to help where they can. Luke is very lucky to have so many people to look after him. Luke typically hates being coddled, hates being treated like a child, but at the end of the day, he is one, and being taken care of puts him at ease. 

He’ll only get a mini lecture from Simeon, reminding Luke about the importance of sleep. If the little angel is unlucky, Lucifer will catch wind of the deed, coming to give Luke an even bigger lecture. But no one can talk to Luke for too long. He keeps falling asleep throughout the day, finding someone to come up to to hold him as he takes little naps. The others try not to let him sleep too long, because then he won’t be able to sleep again during the night...but it’s very hard to disturb him when he sleeps so soundly. It feels like a sin to stir such a precious angel. At least Luke will learn his lesson. Why do some adults deprive themselves of sleep? It doesn’t feel like a grown-up thing to do at all, it just feels pretty painful and pointless. Now everyone has to watch themselves...Luke will make sure everyone sleeps properly now. 

[greenerteacups]

hey gt! So, I’ve been writing for many years- either poems, ff, or my own stories and one thing I struggle with ALWAYS is finishing…. The damn…. Story…. I know it’s kinda stupid to say that I write but never finish the work but I truly struggle with it. I find myself 1. Stuck on a scene and over editing 2. Fearing I’m forgetting parts from the previous chapters and creating plot holes 3. Questioning every decision from the story that has made me come to x point !!!!

Maybe my niche is writing one shots or something idk- I’m to anxious to have anybody beta read my stuff, too so that doesn’t help I guess. Any advice?

It's not stupid, and it's also not a bad thing! If you're a hobby writer, especially a fanfic writer, you are not actually obligated to finish anything. You're doing this for free, you're not on a deadline, and (assuming you haven't published) there is no one except you counting on this story to be finished. Don't beat yourself up for not finishing a story. I have like 30 unfinished drafts and oneshots sitting in my Google Drive. They're never gonna see the light of day. But I don't care! Because I had a really great time writing them, and when I stopped having a great time, I stopped. Neither of us are paid, man. Life is hard enough without acting like the overseer of the Fanfiction Factory is gonna come beat my ass if I don't crank out finished products.

Perfectionism is a horrible disease that kills art. It often grows out of a desire to make your art better, which is good and productive, but perfectionism chokes artists with the belief that it's better for something not to exist than for it to be bad. Because bad is embarrassing, and creating nothing is not embarrassing. Plus, nothing will ever be as good as the version of it that exists in your head, so why not keep it in your head, right? It's perfect there.

One helpful thing to do, in my experience, is to take off the expectations that it has to "Be" anything in particular. Nervous it's not gonna be Deep or Interesting or In-Character enough? Well, maybe it won't be, but you're still going to write it, because you're a writer, and it's fun, and it's interesting, and you're trying something new. You gotta trust your skills. and if you don't trust your skills, then — well, fuck, dude, you gotta write until you can trust them. You need to write things you don't like, and write tons of it — hundreds of thousands of words, I'm talking — until you get to the point where you trust yourself to write a sentence. Write until writing something bad isn't scary any more, because you know you've already done it, and you trust that the next thing you write after the Bad Thing will be better. So if you think your ending is bad, you need to write it. Writing it badly will still make you a better writer. And if you hit a problem and want to change it, then do that, and that, too, will make you a better writer. The only thing that won't make you a better writer is not writing.

Also: I would seriously try to find someone you trust and ask them to beta for you. Sharing your work is a really good way to break the cycle of perfectionism, because it proves to the animal hindbrain that someone can enjoy your work without thinking it's perfect. And it takes the pressure for noticing plot holes and editing mistakes out of your hands.

Or you can shrug, go "fuck it," and publish with the plot holes and editing errors in there anyway. And then so what? You've published something imperfect? Dude, me too. High five.

[catnip-feathers]

Omori headcanons I felt like sharing lol

Basil’s height is because of genetics, Sunny’s height is because he was a shut-in. Some point after the good ending they realize Basil is just barely one inch taller than Sunny and they both freak out over it.

Aubrey’s weapon of choice is a bat specifically because Mari used to play softball. It has emotional significance to her and she carries it around more as a comfort item than to fight or be intimidating.

Mari’s the kind of person who’s fine with any music. She does have favorites, but doesn’t particularly hate anything.

Hero is very big on safety and organization, and he keeps lists and double-checks everything that might be risky.

Basil tried playing some games because his friends liked it, but couldn’t really get into it much. However he loves Ace Attorney.

Kel loves cartoons, and he would absolutely participate in the brony era, no shame whatsoever. Present-day Kel would have a Rainbow Dash bumper sticker.

Aubrey writes fanfics but she keeps them to herself. She’s actually pretty good at writing, and sometimes shares it with Hero (supposedly to check her grammar but she actually just likes how he genuinely finds it interesting).

Sunny’s voice is just slightly deeper than Kel’s voice. Not sure why but I find it kind of funny.

Mari is actually super competitive. Softball kind of started that for her, and the need to be a good player fed into her perfectionism which affected her other hobbies.

The first couple of photos of the truth album were real. Basil brought his camera with him (yknow how some moms like to take pictures of their kids before they go to some notable event? He had a similar idea) but he did not expect to see what he saw and his shaky hands hit the button a couple times. That’s why they’re blurry, angled oddly, and pointed down. But those photos are long gone, thrown away because why would anyone want to keep that?? Plus, it’s evidence. The truth album itself isn’t real but it was based on those first two photos as a way to make the recollection more coherent.

Aubrey loves fireworks. Kel and Hero’s family always let her set them off during holidays when they were younger. If she invites someone to set off fireworks with her that definitely means she enjoys their company.

Hero never tried to improve at anything athletic because he knew Kel was good at it and wanted him to keep that spotlight. Sometimes he regrets not trying to be a little more active when he can’t keep up with the others, but since his brother has a natural talent for it, he’s perfectly content accepting that one weak spot among his talents.

Sunny knows sign language, but he’s not great with non-manual markers (for anyone who doesn’t know, those are the non-hand movements that are paired with some signs. Stuff like facial expressions, mouth morphemes, head movements, shoulder raising, eyebrow raise/lower, etc.). He’s especially terrible at having to match facial expressions to signs so he just avoids signing emotions other than “fine” and it does not help his case lmao

Mari has a chaotic side and would undeniably win in a prank war. If she had lived through high school, her senior prank would’ve been legendary. And she would never even get suspended, she wouldn’t do something harmful but it would be insane.

[sakura-code]

how do Mokoto and Yuma meet each other in the misfit Au, how did yuma willing to give his trust to mokoto, it would be nice to hear more of their relationship goes to this story

it really must've took some time

p.s im so glad to be able to read more post from you,i hope your doing alright

The two meet with Makoto approaching Yuma once he was allowed to roam freely (in this AU, the CEO is still alive at the time and Makoto is known as the CEO’s adopted son), and meets him when Yuma was getting his Forte experimented at the Amaterasu Labs.

You are right that Yuma takes time to learn to trust Makoto since he does look suspicious and is overly-friendly to him. Yuma became more emotionally detached and withdrawn as a trauma response to his mom’s death, and separation from his hometown to moving into the cold, crime-filled city of Kanai Ward. He hasn’t seen any friendly faces for a long time except for Shinigami, and even then she’s considered in the same boat as him (or more specifically similar since she doesn’t have to interact to the real world like Yuma).

The same can be said for Makoto as he has to deal with the fact that he is a Homunculus and is now being groomed to become the next CEO of Amaterasu (which he believes is the only mean to really change Amaterasu itself). Still he is left bitter towards the world and the restriction he is put under by his ‘father.’ He even can’t help being bitter to Yuma because he is the original who has lived the life he remembers, while Makoto is nothing more than a copy. A shell that can be remold by others’ desires, while not allowed to be the person he was before. But he also knows Yuma has no support outside of Shinigami in Kanai Ward, and even he notes Shinigami isn’t exactly the best support Yuma needs. So he reluctantly decides to reach out to Yuma and be the support he needs (because he is still the emphatic, kind person like Yuma).

The two’s relationship definitely starts out rocky because of their own conflicting feelings with one another (Yuma unwilling to trust Makoto, and Makoto’s resentment towards Yuma). But overtime, those tensions begin to fade away and their relationship starts to blossom into a beautiful friendship (and brotherly love). With Makoto, he offers an out from Yuma being experimented and even knows he is the Death Detective but does not look down on him for it, being his support for him to talk to, and offering sanctuary from everyone at Makoto’s apartment (yes he still has his own apartment despite technically being a minor; the CEO isn’t really a good parent here). With Yuma, he offers a comforting presence for Makoto to be himself around. I hc that part of Makoto’s over-the-top, friendly nature is a facade around people. He is still over-the-top and friendly, he just takes it to the extreme around other people. In truth, he is an introvert and can be blunt and snarky (basically not as friendly as he makes himself out to be), even though he is still a sincere person. Yuma doesn’t judge him and encourages him to let his (metaphorical) mask down around him, which he does.

Their relationship will definitely be explored overtime in the AU, as Makoto’s secret and Amaterasu’s darkness will come to light as one of the overarching plotline. And their relationship is challenged as well (Makoto may be more friendly with Yuma, but I’m still gonna make him a morally grey, complex character).

Also, thank you so much for your concerns and support. I’ve been really busy irl with college classes demanding my attention, and trying to put a little more focus on myself outside of social media. Plus some writer’s block and my perfectionism getting in the way as well. I’m just trying to make sure I thought out the ideas of my AUs well (even though I also post some of the ideas would be brainstorming and some parts of the AU may have changed as well). My posts may still be infrequent with my schedule, but I can assure you I am still alive.

[noxexistant]

Hi I wanna know what you think all the newsies’ mental illnesses are 😤

Or as many as you can think of

oh, hell yes. bout to put my lifetime of my own brain plus everyone i’ve met through mental health exploration and treatment plus living in care with other traumatised and mentally ill kids to work. (although, obligatory disclaimer, these are just ideas and me messing around, mental health is messy and complicated especially when translating between modern understanding and how that would’ve been understood and expressed in-period. this is not me formally diagnosing these characters, more just being like ‘hey, what if’ in a more nebulous sense. and, again, mental health is messy!)

first of all, jack definitely has c-ptsd - complex post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by consistent and long-term trauma and, as the name implies, with more complicated and far-reaching symptoms than ‘standard’ ptsd. he dissociates a lot, and his visions of santa fe can border on delusion when he’s in worse states - which can sometimes border on hypomania. his self-esteem is unstable and imbalanced, and he has a lot of issues with paranoia; he believes the world is against him, that anyone will betray him, that any information learned about him will be used against him. he lies compulsively as a result, about even the most innocuous stuff. he uses anger as a cover for his emotions. he’s restless and unable to really hold grudges because he’s so desperate for bonds, but he’s also quick to back off when people get too close. he has a pretty fearful-avoidant attachment style, but feels deeply betrayed when other parties are the ones to back away from him instead of the other way around. he also probably has adhd, defined by hyperfocus and hyperfixations and inattentiveness to anything he finds dull, he’s fidgety and talks a lot and usually ends up putting his foot in his mouth and then talking even more.

david has anxiety and frequent panic attacks, and i can also see him having ocpd - obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is entirely separate from ocd. it’s characterised by a need for perfection and severe anxiety when things aren’t perfect, holding unrealistically high expectations for himself and others, and getting very anxious/distressed when mistakes are made by himself or others. he likes things organised and structured, his perfectionism holds him back from actually doing things, he focuses on work and productivity rather than his needs or hobbies, he has trouble delegating or working with others as he can believe that he’s the only person who can do something right. he has to hold himself back from immediately re-doing tasks for others, like when one of the other newsies ties their boots sloppily or les doesn’t fold his clothes right or sarah doesn’t wash the dishes properly. he’s also autistic.

crutchie has ptsd, bouts of depression, and is all but incapable of being honest about his emotions - he’d rather keep them under wraps and all but avoid them entirely, would sooner make himself sick with them than express them openly to others. he also dissociates, which helps with avoiding emotions, though his dissociative bouts happen most commonly after ptsd triggers or flashbacks. he goes empty-eyed and unresponsive when he’s dissociating, just staring into the middle distance, and he can’t get out of bed on the worst days of his depression. he won’t eat, won’t speak, will at most just try and smile at anyone who expresses concern - tight-lipped, more of a grimace than anything.

race has adhd and episodes of hypomania. he exhibits self-destructive and self-endangering behaviours, including starting fights and generally just doing stupid stuff that could well get him and others hurt, and he absolutely cannot be talked down when he’s hypomanic. he has aggressive/violent outbursts if anyone tries, will stop talking to them - usually running away to brooklyn entirely - until he’s come down by himself, and then he’ll come back and apologise sincerely for what he might’ve said when he was “jittery”. the others are always understanding, though race still harbours a lot of shame for it. he’s terrified one day he’ll say or do something that makes spot hate him.

albert is anxious and restless and a kleptomaniac - he steals compulsively, particularly anything shiny or expensive-looking. he’s not great with relationships, tends to have little interest in other people, and can’t really read tone or social cues. i could see him having symptoms of autism or schizoid personality disorder, which have a considerable overlap in symptoms, most commonly characterised by difficulty with relationships and disinterest and “lack of humour” and preferring being alone - though quite probably not enough symptoms to be diagnosed with either (speaking in the realms of a modern au).

finch, i could totally see having schizoid personality disorder. he’s paranoid too, frequently gets the idea in his head that he’s being watched or followed, particularly since he ran away, or feels like the others are talking about him. he hoards food (as much as he can when there’s so little of it) and has a lot of sleep problems, sleeping little and light. he doesn’t really dream, but when he does they’re stress dreams or nightmares and he always wakes up with his heart pounding. he’ll spend the time until the bell rings sat up, eyes darting around the room, sure there’s something, someone, something.

specs has symptoms of ocd, most commonly rituals to ensure the safety of the other newsies. he has to wash his face just right so that everyone sells okay that day, and step over the trolley lines perfect because if he doesn’t someone‘ll get hit, touch each of the beds in a certain order to make sure everyone’s safe for the night, stuff like that. his glasses are also always spotless, and nobody can touch them.

tommy boy stammers and has social anxiety. splasher has ptsd, and frequent nightmares because of it - and an intense fear of abandonment. elmer has very little self-esteem and is loud/disruptive for attention, including making out-of-turn jokes. henry harbours nothing but guilt for his father’s death (even though it wasn’t at all his fault, it’s often just how grief manifests) and isn’t processing his grief at all, sometimes he’ll lose himself in the delusion that his father isn’t really dead and the deli is still waiting for him; he also has a lot of issues with food, including binging when food is available.

spot’s got c-ptsd and his complicated emotions tend to manifest as anger/aggression. he doesn’t know how to articulate his feelings, and usually won’t try. she’s kind of terrified by her relationship with race, because she doesn’t know why race likes her and wholly believes that he’ll suddenly stop. their sense of self-esteem is very complicated - very high in some aspects, and non-existent in others. he can struggle with depersonalisation.

and, bonus, because i’m me:

the delanceys both have c-ptsd. oscar has adhd and antisocial personality disorder. morris has bpd and autism. feel free to ask me if you wanna hear more about them, or about any other characters i didn’t mention, or even just more about a character in particular <3

[sacredjoanne]

ISFP 2w1: Personality Breakdown

The ISFP 2w1 is a creative, compassionate, and industrious personality type. As an adventurer at heart, they are driven by a deep desire to help others, often going above and beyond to ensure everyone around them is well-cared and content.

However, despite their spiritedness, this type also hankers after tranquillity and peace, making them a soothing presence in any environment.

The ISFP, also known as the Adventurer, is a spontaneous, curious, and adaptable personality type.

They are characterized by an artistically driven nature, often going with the flow and following wherever their heart may lead. Now, introduce the 2w1, or the Host, from the Enneagram.

They are naturally altruistic, always striving to meet the needs of others and, at times, forgetting their own.

When these two types merge to form the ISFP 2w1, you get a person with a heart as big as the ocean, hands always ready to help, and an innate ability to find beauty in the mundane.

ISFP 2w1 in a Nutshell

Strengths: Empathy, Creativity, Reliability.

Weaknesses: Over-giving, Self-neglect, Indecisiveness.

Soulmate: Someone who appreciates their creative spirit, but also encourages them to make decisions with confidence.

Guidance: Remember to take time for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

What Is The ISFP 2w1 Like?

Let’s talk ISFPs. For starters, these characters are called the Artist of the MBTI world, which means they’re original, sensitive, and oh-so-caring.

These quiet observers love chillin’ in the background, watching the world go by and soaking up the details.

They have this dazzling ability to stay present and in the moment, and they’re all about living life at their own rhythm.

They also have this fascinating attachment to personal values. They’re like, “If it doesn’t align with my core beliefs, I’m out.”

Now, let’s dive into the 2w1 Enneagram, shall we? These do-gooders are basically the ‘Mother Teresa’ of personality types.

They’ve got a heart bigger than Texas, and they’re all about helping others.

They’re friendly, warm, and always trying to meet the needs of the people around them. But wait, there’s a twist!

The ‘one-wing’ bit adds a generous dollop of perfectionism to the mix.

So, while they’ll happily make you a cup of tea, they’ll also stress about the temperature being just right.

Okay, so try to imagine this – an ISFP, who’s already a soft-hearted, laid-back type, joins forces with the 2w1’s deep desire to help and be of service. What do you get?

You get a super-sensitive, super-caring individual who’s likely to be your go-to person when you’re sick, upset, or just need a good listener.

They’ll show up with a blanket, homemade soup, and a comforting ear because that’s just how they roll.

Plus, if they choose to do something, you can bet your bottom dollar it’s gonna be done perfectly.

But, it’s not all rainbows, they might also stress about the soup being seasoned perfectly. So show some appreciation, okay?

What Are the Main Traits of the ISFP 2w1 Personality?

ISFP 2w1 Strengths

Uber Creative

Detail Oriented

Super Adaptable

Mega Altruistic

Chillaxed Optimist

ISFP 2w1 Struggles

Pretty Private

Unpredictable

Commitment Wobbles

Conflict Avoiders

Overly Sensitive

ISFP 2w1s are like the love child of Picasso and Mother Teresa.

They’re the folks whipping up a storm in the kitchen and making it look like the Sistine Chapel.

But, they’re also the ones crying over spilled milk, literally! Their throbbing empathy and creative energy are a double-edged sword.

It fuels their passions but also makes them super sensitive to criticism. Ouch!

Their attention to detail is epic, but take a walk on the wild side and they might freak out. Predictability? Not their style.

This can make them exciting, but a nightmare if you’re trying to plan a trip to Disneyland.

And let’s talk about their obsession with authenticity.

They won’t participate in any fake chitchat but will appreciate you to the moon and back if you keep it real.

They’re the kind of people who, if they were superheroes, their power would be dodging conflict like Neo in The Matrix.

Being altruistic AF, they’re prone to the dreaded burnout. They’ll help anyone and everyone until they just can’t anymore.

Also, they’ve got commitment issues – not just with Netflix series, but with everything.

Still, their sunny optimism is infectious, making them the chill optimism ambassadors they are.

So, a mixed bag, but certainly never a dull moment!

What Sets ISFP 2w1s Apart From Other ISFP Types?

“Helper” with a “Reformer” Topping

ISFP 2w1, darling, is like your gooey cheese pizza with an unexpected sprinkling of health-conscious kale. So, what’s the deal?

Well, ISFPs are typically the sensitive, live-in-the-moment types, right?

But add that little 2w1 twist, and suddenly, they’re also all about helping others and seeking a better, more perfect world.

It’s like they’ve got a heart as big as Oprah’s and the perfectionist drive of Martha Stewart.

Above and Beyond Generosity

Now, all ISFPs have a giving streak. But 2w1s? They’ve practically got ‘Santa Claus’ as their middle name.

They aren’t just about lending you their last piece of gum; they’re the ones who’ll share their last bite of chocolate cake, even if they’re still craving it.

The ‘2’ part of their personality makes them the selfless, helping types – because nothing says ‘I love helping’ like giving away your chocolate.

High Standards, Not Just for WiFi

ISFPs usually go with the flow, but our 2w1 friends here have a wee bit of a perfectionist streak.

Unlike other ISFPs, they have a ‘1’ wing that keeps them focused on details most would ignore.

If they’re into photography, they’re not just capturing a sunset; they’re positioning every cloud perfectly.

It’s as if they’ve internalized that old adage— “If you’re going to do something, do it right, or don’t do it at all.”

And trust me, when it comes to getting the perfect Insta shot, they’re all over it.

What Are The Major Fears and Desires of the ISFP 2w1?

Fears

Being Unloved

Insignificance

Rejection

Apathy

Losing Control

Desires

Emotionally Engaged

Stability

Significance

Enthusiasm

Acceptance

ISFP 2w1s are like those adorable puppies in a pet store window.

You know, the ones that prance up and down, wagging their tails at every passerby? They’re yearning for that acceptance, that love.

At the same time, they fear rejection and insignificance, like the puppy not chosen from the litter.

They want to feel unique, but not at the expense of feeling alienated.

They want to be in control, but not to the point of being overwhelmed.

It’s a bit of a juggling act, really. You see, our ISFP 2w1 friends, like everyone else, are a delightful cocktail of contradictions.

They dance between wanting to be loved for who they are and fearing the consequence of being too much.

It’s like wanting to eat cake but worrying about fitting into your jeans. A universal dilemma, really.

How Do I Know If I’m An ISFP 2w1?

First, you gotta ask yourself some deep, soul-searching questions. Don’t worry, it’s not as scary as it sounds. Ready? Here we go:

“Am I helping-obsessed?”

“Feeling more than thinking?”

“Sensitive to criticism?”

“Chasing perfection?”

“Expressing through deeds?”

“Avoiding conflict?”

“Seeking validation?”

Now, hold up. Before you start diagnosing yourself and all your exes, let’s go a little deeper.

Here are some key signs and behavior patterns that can help you reel in the ISFP 2w1:

The unsolicited helper: Are you the kind of person who’s always ready to lend a helping hand, especially when it’s not exactly asked for? You might just be an ISFP 2w1.

The pursuit of lawlessness: Do you seek perfection like a squirrel seeks nuts? If your motto is “Perfect or it’s not worth it”, you’re really showing your colors here.

Love language: Service – For ISFP 2w1s, actions speak WAY louder than words. If you’re expressing your love by doing and not saying, well, that’s textbook you.

Conflict? Nope. – ISFP 2w1s would rather walk barefoot on legos than engage in conflict. If you’re the diplomatic, peacekeeper type, it’s a match.

Approval junkie – And lastly, if you’re constantly seeking others’ approval, congratulations. You get a gold star! Because, let’s face it, you were looking for one.

What’s The ISFP 2w1 Man Like?

The Nerdy Caretaker

Our ISFP 2w1 pals are basically a mix of Bob Ross and Batman: peaceful and introverted, but with a heart of gold when it comes to helping others.

They feel things deeply, insisting on doing the right thing, even when no one’s watching—thus, earning that superhero title, amirite?

Everyone’s Personal Zen Master

Alright, let’s be clear, when it’s time to chill, these boys don’t mess around.

They’re all about the here and now, choosing to live in the moment rather than stressing about the past or future.

Think of them as Tony Hawk on a Sunday afternoon: laid back, vibing, and filled with a Zen that we could all use a little bit more of.

Mr. Reluctant to Share

Bless their hearts, these ISFP 2w1s tend to bottle up their feelings.

They’d rather fight a grizzly bear than share personal thoughts or feelings.

But don’t let that fool you. It doesn’t mean they don’t care.

They’re just a little more shy with their emotions, like a baby koala clinging to its mother, except maybe not as adorable.

Or maybe equally adorable, depending on how you look at it.

What’s The ISFP 2w1 Woman Like?

Mysterious Creative Goddess

Oh honey, when it comes to crafting, picture your ISFP 2w1 gal as the Picasso of Pinterest.

She gets lost in her colorful world of D.I.Y., turning everything from junk into a work of art.

Even if it’s a broken chair, she’ll morph it into a magazine-worthy centerpiece.

Mother Teresa in Jeans

Prepare for a friend who practically radiates altruism and kindness.

ISFP 2w1 ladies are all about helping out, even if it means making life a tad harder for themselves.

You know that friend who drops everything to help you move? Yeah, that’s her. A little bit of Mother Teresa, but with a better fashion sense.

Sensitive Soul

Lastly, let’s talk about feelings. Our ISFP 2w1 woman is like a human mood ring.

She’s incredibly sensitive and tuned in to her emotions, and she’ll probably feel things before you even know they’re there!

If you’re not open with your feelings, she might just pry them out of you with a pair of emotional tweezers.

ISFP 2w1s In Relationships & Compatibility

ISFP 2w1s are full of love and tenderness, always ready to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on.

They’re like that childhood sweetheart who always had a plaster ready when you skinned your knee.

But oh, they’re not all sweetness and sunshine – they’ve got a fiery core of passion and a stubborn streak that could give a mule a run for its money.

MBTI Matches

First up, the valiant ESTJ. These decisive leaders provide structure, something our gentle ISFP 2w1 occasionally needs.

Then there’s the INFP. Sharing the same dominant function – introverted feeling – these two understand each other on an elemental level.

And let’s not forget the ESFP. Their shared extraverted sensing can lead to some fun, spontaneous adventures together.

Enneagram Matches

As for their Enneagram buddies, Type 9s are a good match. They bring out the ISFP 2w1’s nurturing side and provide a sense of calm and peace.

Type 6s offer loyalty and dependability, which goes hand in hand with ISFP 2w1’s need for reassurance.

And lastly, fellow Type 2s, understand each other’s desire to be loved and appreciated.

Tips For Interacting With ISFP 2w1 Individuals

Like all introverts, these folks need time to recharge their social batteries.

Secondly, appreciate their help. They love being your knight in shining armor, so be sure to show your gratitude.

And lastly, never, ever take them for granted. They give their all in relationships, so make sure to reciprocate.

Remember, it’s a two-step, not a solo performance.

Best Careers For The ISFP 2w1

Key Skills

Practical Problem-Solving

Empathetic Listening

Authentic Creativity

Quick Adapting

Tactful Diplomacy

Best Jobs

Counsellor

Nurse

Landscape Artist

Veterinarian

Interior Designer

So, listen up, my ISFP 2w1 buddies. If you play your cards right, you can really rock the boat in the workplace.

With your empathetic listening skills and your practical problem-solving, you’ll be solving office spats faster than they can say “unresolved tension”.

You’re also not one to shy away from rolling up your sleeves to get stuff done – quick adaptation is your middle name, after all.

And let’s not forget your thoroughness! From crossing t’s to dotting i’s, you’ve got a knack for detail, and that won’t go unnoticed.

Sprinkle in a bit of your authentic creativity, and boom – you’ll be turning heads before you know it.

Now, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Remember, every coin has two sides, honey.

You might face a few hurdles along the way. For instance, in a high-speed job or in roles where you need to make snap decisions, you might feel a bit like a fish out of water.

Your tendency to be all diplomatic may actually backfire in tough-love circumstances.

Also, you’re a bit of an emotional sponge, so dealing with constant negativity or conflict in the workplace could drain your battery really quickly.

But hey, remember this, your challenges are just opportunities in disguise. So, suit up and roll those sleeves!

Final Thoughts

So to sum up, our dear friend ISFP 2w1 is basically the Mother Teresa of personality types.

Their nurturing vibe and drive for perfectionism could probably end wars, people!

But seriously, understanding your personality type, like our friend here, is like getting backstage access to your own brain.

It’s like a cheat sheet for personal growth and building healthier relationships.

So, get to know yourself and remember, your brainwave playlist is on repeat, make sure it’s playing your favorite tune!

Official post by Joanne at Sacred Joanne

https://sacredjoanne.com/isfp-2w1-personality/

[concretecomplications]

Im scared

I’ve been really struggling for a while now but things keep coming to a boiling point.

At the risk of mixing metaphors, imagine my life as a large glass of water. It’s been filling up for a while with all my responsibilities and stresses. The stress of covid, cancelling my wedding due to covid, moving to the suburbs where I feel alone, dealing with my perfectionism, work, family, politics- everything. For a while I’ve felt like I could keep making the glass bigger, that I could handle more, but it feels like I’ve just been adding drops to the top and relying on surface tension to keep it together. Lately, ANYTHING, beyond a basic inconvenience makes it feel like the glass will shatter. I can sometimes let some of the water drip down the sides (basically panic until someone offers to take on some of my responsibilities) to keep it together but I’m always left feeling guilty. Plus, it always happens again, with increasingly smaller things making it overflow.

I KNOW hurting myself won’t fix any of this, but I’m scared at how frequently these thoughts are occurring to me. I’m also not actively planning anything or making decisions, but the thoughts are there. I’ve occasionally had this before but I was able to distract myself, I’m worried because today they’re not to easy to dismiss anymore.

I know there’s nothing going on in my life that is truly THAT bad, but I feel like I’ve been treading water for so long and I’m just, tired. It would just be much easier to run away from it all.

Right now, my husband and I came up to my mom’s house to help take care of my 95 year old grandmother while my mom goes on a business trip. We got here yesterday to have dinner together before her flight last night. My grandmother doesn’t speak English well and is having trouble with dementia . Cut to today- my mom has now tested positive for covid, meaning we’ve been exposed.

My husband ‘s mom is going into breast cancer surgery this week and he was supposed to help her and now can’t. And he’s rightfully upset that my mom didn’t take her minor symptoms seriously enough to tell us.

He’s gone back to our house at my suggestion so that if by some miracle he’s not sick, he can actually help. But now I’m alone with a 95 year old woman who doesn’t understand why I’m avoiding her.

Work is insane, I’m losing faith that things will ever get better- plus 90% of my team is out next week so I can’t even take a sick day if I even do have Covid.

Every question my grandmother asks makes me want to scream at her. She’s confused and I’m lashing out because I don’t have the energy to be patient the 7th time she’s dragged herself up a flight of steps to ask me the same question again.

The glass feels like it’s cracking.

My mom and my husband are the only people I’d even consider telling that I’m having these thoughts, (except, apparently, an internet of strangers) but I don’t think they have the emotional bandwidth to help me right now. If anything I fear them reacting as if I’m being dramatic and whiny. Plus, it’s not dire need at the moment- I’m just scared by the thoughts, no where near action- and I don’t want this to seem manipulative.

But I’m scared and I feel utterly alone and don’t know what to do anymore.

It hurts so much.

[alotofteez]

Sphallolalia | Part 7

Series: ⇢ Pairing: San x fem!Reader ⇢ Genre: flirty af fluff, hints of angst, suggestive, kinda smutty, older reader (noona) ⇢ Synopsis: As your best friend’s maid of honor, you must endure the shameless best man’s flirting until after the wedding. It's just sphallolalia... right?

Part 7: Middle of the Night - Moodboard ⇢ Genre: fluff, angst, & suggestive ⇢ Warnings: language, mentions of sexual assault (involves one-time-appearance character) ⇢ Word Count: 6,561

a/n: I split part 7 back into two parts. If there should be any other warnings, let me know!

Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

taglist: @joongiebug (url doesn’t exist), @simluvbot​, @kimtae-bae (not taggable?), @justsayk​, @sunsethw4​, @baguette-atiny​

Perfectionism is not something you ever really associated with bouquet making… until today. You have not actually tried to make a bouquet before, and honestly, it is kind of stressful, especially with Mina hovering over your shoulder watching every little thing you do. After adding a few things to a bouquet, she will take it from you and tweak it a bit. There are barely any apparent differences when she does this. It only makes you more paranoid about what you are doing.

But what pisses you off the most is that after making two bridesmaids’ bouquets, Mina decides to make her own bouquet bigger and needs more of certain elements from the ones you already made. You have to remind yourself that all of this is for her day, and you have to respect that. Taking apart and spreading your masterpieces across her living room coffee table is painful. You have spent about 3 hours working on things, most of that time on those 2 bouquets.

“There aren’t enough flowers to do all of the bouquets and boutonnieres now,” you sigh when she thinks she has perfected her bouquet.

“We can go to the store sometime soon and get more. We need to get stuff for centerpieces anyway,” she says, slumping back against her couch, “I want to get those little strings of fairy lights and put them in clear vases with those iridescent glass rocks and flowers. I really need everyone to respond to the RSVP, so I can get an idea of how many tables we need.”

“You invited like a hundred people. With the tables at that hotel you’re looking at, eight can be seated at each. Until most people respond, just get enough for like fourteen tables. Some people might bring more than one plus-one.”

“But what if I don’t end up needing fourteen tables?”

“Take what you don’t need back to the craft store.”

“I can’t do that if I’ve already made stuff with those things.”

You peer over at your friend, whose head is leaned back on a couch cushion and eyes are closed. “Mina, use your brain. Don’t make decorations for all fourteen until you have a better idea of how many you need. Buy enough stuff for fourteen just in case. How do you have a degree?”

“I don’t need your sass. I’m stressed,” she groans and barely turns her head to look at you, “Speaking of plus-ones.”

“Don’t,” you warn and start cleaning up the mess from the bouquets to elude the conversation.

“Have you met anyone?”

“No, I’ve been busy.”

“My wedding will be here before you know it.”

“Why do I need a date? I don’t mind not having one,” you say, hands pausing on the table.

“I don’t want you to be alone during the reception. I want you to have a good time with someone because I’ll be busy making the rounds among family.”

“I’ll be busy making sure everything is going right, so a date would be by themselves anyway.”

“If we have it at that hotel, they have staff to help with most things. You need a date.”

“Mina… I don’t need a date.”

You crawl from your place on the floor onto her couch, mentally exhausted from making bouquets. Her meddling in your love life is the last thing you need right now.

“Have you been on any dating apps?” She asks, following suit onto the couch.

“You do realize I met Mark on one, right?���

“Mark isn’t the only guy who uses that app.”

“But most guys on dating apps are like Mark. You wouldn’t know. You’ve never used one.”

“I watched Kyungmi use one, and since I knew you were coming over, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos on how to set up a good profile.” She grins, pleased with herself.

“What the hell, Mina? I already deleted that app from my phone.”

“Then redownload it?”

“Are you not picking up on my reluctance?”

“Oh, no, I am. I’m choosing to ignore it because I want you to find someone to make you happy.”

“Being in a relationship isn’t the only way to be happy.”

“But it helps.”

You stare at her, unimpressed, and lie, “I don’t want a relationship right now.”

Because deep down, you’re interested in someone who will never be fully interested in you, but you can’t tell Mina that. Alas, you give in to her wish and hand over your phone when the app finishes downloading. She quickly dissects your previously made profile.

“You need different pictures,” she says as she swipes through them.

“I don’t have any recent pictures.”

“Why not?”

Your photos app is pulled up, and she starts going through all your old photos. The selection is minimal as you only take ugly selfies to annoy her with and random screenshots of things from online.

“I don’t know. I just don’t take serious selfies.”

“You can take one right now.”

“Do you not see how bad I look right now?”

“I can do your hair and makeup.”

“I don’t have time to do all that,” you remind her that you have things to do tonight.

“Then we’ll use this old one,” she suggests, stopping on a decent selfie of yours.

“That’s from like five years ago.”

“But it’s a good picture.”

“I don’t even look like that anymore. That’s basically catfishing,” you complain.

“It’s not catfishing if it’s actually you.”

“Still doesn’t feel right, but whatever.”

She smiles to herself while adding different pictures and changing your bio. One thing she does before swiping through profiles is block Mark, who was found in your old conversations. It is redundant, but it sets the tone for the time being. No fuck boys will be tolerated, who, to you, seem unavoidable. This leads to inevitable arguments over potential suitors for the next hour as she swipes and converses with other users. It could have gone on even longer if you hadn’t mentioned you needed to leave soon to go grocery shopping.

Looking over all the new conversations in your account, Mina tells you, “Check your account when you get home and tell me if anyone messages you.”

“Any decent guy my age isn’t going to be on a dating app,” you grumble as she hands over your phone.

“Are you not a decent woman on a dating app?”

“At this point, it’s not me on the app.”

“Hey! I’m trying to help you out!”

“Help I didn’t ask for.”

“Do you want to die alone?” She jokingly asks, but it stings a bit.

“I want to meet someone normally!”

“Dating apps are the new normal!”

“I don’t think they’re for me. No one I’ve met on there has ever worked out.”

“Just try it one more time. You never know. You could match with ‘the one’ tonight.”

You sigh and stand from her couch, “I better go before I lose motivation to get groceries.”

“Have fun,” Mina teases as she walks you to her door, “Send me screenshots of messages and I’ll tell you how to reply!”

“I might just delete the app when I get to my car then!” You shout before entering the stairwell and listen to Mina’s incoherent rant as the door shuts behind you.

Although Mina thinks the dating app will spawn a new and amazing relationship for you, you know it won’t do much besides get you sexually charged pickup lines that you have received multiple times before. And you are mostly correct as you read the previews of messages from your app’s notifications. Some make you uncomfortable while you shop around, tossing random food items into your basket that you probably won’t make anything with. 

You make sure to throw it in Mina’s face by sending screenshots. It makes you laugh that she’s actually surprised and disappointed that barely any of them are looking for serious relationships.

Once you are home and have put away all your groceries, you settle on a ‘healthy’ frozen dinner. The meal is kind of small and sad compared to the image on the packaging. Nonetheless, you remind yourself you have a dress to look good in. Eating healthier is a change you should probably make anyway. It’ll be worth it, right?

But the sad frozen dinner is bland, and the middle of each portion is still cold. You don’t feel like reheating each thing because you are beaten down from the long day. Maybe next time you should just get stuff to make salads. It is a bit more effort, but at least you could eat more. Could you survive on only salads until the wedding, though?

As you toss the bowl in the trash, your phone goes off on your coffee table. Mina’s name shines on your screen. Hopefully, she’s not about to bug you more about that dating app.

“Hey, I forgot to ask earlier. Do you remember that hairstylist who did your hair for your school dance?” She asks as soon as you answer.

“Vaguely, yeah.”

“You don’t happen to still have her contact information, do you?”

You think for a minute, chewing on your bottom lip, and then you recall something.

“I might have it in my phone from high school. I’ll have to dig around to find it.”

“Oh, my god. Please? I was so jealous of how she did your hair. I wanted to be older so bad so I could do it too.”

Oh, how the tables have turned.

“I’ll start looking and text you if I find it.”

“Okay, thank you so much. Bye!” She sings before the call ends.

Now, where the hell did you put the box of your high school memories? Somewhere deep in the recesses of your closet, it is there. Inside the box is your small phone from high school still in its brightly colored phone case you ordered online. You plug in the charger and hold down the lock button until the screen lights up with a battery graphic.

The first thing you see when it awakens is the lockscreen of you and your high school boyfriend smiling at each other. You remember that one of your friends caught the candid moment in a picture and later sent it to you. It was a sweet surprise as it was difficult to get him to take photos with you. You can almost feel the emotions you felt in the photo now while looking at it. The feeling of your first love and being in love. Your heart hurts thinking back to all those years ago. With this finding, all the good memories flood your mind, outweighing the bad. You can’t remember many specifics, only the happy and giddy feelings you had.

You wonder what he is up to and how he is, but you can’t bring yourself to check his social media accounts. Seeing him thrive without you would just hurt and make you feel worse about your own life. But what if he is single? Could you reunite and mend your broken relationship caused by immature reasons that you can vaguely remember? Would he still think you’re attractive? You don’t look the same as you did in high school, not that you think your appearance peaked in high school. None of that really matters unless one thing: Does he ever think of you?

This isn’t the point of you digging up your old phone. Quickly, you force yourself to look through your old contacts; there aren’t many as you knew a limited amount of people in high school. With no luck in finding that hairstylist’s number, you inform Mina that you don’t have it.

Unfortunately, curiosity gets the best of you, and you open your messages app. You scroll down to the conversation with your ex. Against your best judgement, you open it to find the memories left in this little device. The last thing you sent him was a selfie of you making an ugly face to which he had sent one right back. His sweet messages telling you good morning and goodnight still prompt the butterflies in your stomach. Scrolling through your conversation takes you back to before the heartbreak, and you begin to miss it. You’re not sure if you miss him or just the feeling.

The wrongs he did to you pale in comparison to the good. Your mind very well could be making those things up to preserve the little positivity you have left. Maybe there is hope for finding an innocent love like you once had, but then you remember where you are in life and all the odds against you.

Before you break down from all your nostalgic emotions, you turn off the phone and stash it away once again. You get ready for bed, washing your face and changing into pajamas. Your stomach quietly growls, and you remind yourself that you have already had dinner and should not eat anything else this late at night. The frozen dinner was not very filling to begin with, so maybe you could have a small snack that won’t make you feel guilty. No, you must keep your will strong.

As you plop down on your bed with a sigh, you feel your phone vibrating somewhere in the sheets. When you read the name of the late-night caller, you simultaneously get butterflies and annoyed.

“What do you want?”

“All I want is you, beautiful.” San’s voice is low and resonates through your body. 

There’s a brief pause before you groan and he giggles to himself.

“What’s wrong?” He asks with lingering amusement.

“Just stressed about things.”

“Do they have to do with the wedding?”

“Kind of, but not really. I don’t want to talk about it.”

He hums understandingly, “Sounds like you need a distraction as well. You want to go get pizza?”

“San, it’s like midnight?”

“So? Would a restaurant still be open if you weren’t supposed to eat pizza this late?”

“Do you not remember me worrying about my dress?”

“One meal isn’t going make a noticeable difference. Just live a little with me.”

With a sigh, you give in, “Fine. But I’m already in my pajamas though.”

“The red plaid ones?”

“Uh,” you glance down to check, “Yeah? Why?”

“Those are cute. I’ll wear my pajama pants if that makes you feel better. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Fine.”

“You better not change clothes and make me look stupid by myself.”

“You do that enough on your own.”

He scoffs softly, holding back his laugh, “Alright, I’ll head over now.”

In less than ten minutes, he is already calling again, but you decline the call and head down. The driver’s side window of San’s car is down with his arm hanging out. You notice he is preoccupied with his phone and take the opportunity to mess with him. Quietly, you sneak up next to the SUV and abruptly high-five his hand, which automatically catches yours.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he says, leaning out the window with wide eyes.

He lets go of you, and you giggle at accomplishing your goal.

“I thought you were ignoring me and weren’t going to come down. I was about to head up there to kick down your door.”

“I doubt you could do that.”

He gives you a look like he has something hidden up his sleeve and then gestures with his head for you to get in. Slipping into his car, you see he has kept his promise about wearing pajama pants, but you didn’t expect them to be similar to your own.

“Were you trying to match me?”

“Yeah, so we can look stupid together.”

“We could have done that without matching.”

“But now we look like a couple,” he says with a grin and raised eyebrows.

“We’re not,” you roll your eyes, but an idea hits you, “Mina made me redownload a dating app.”

San’s head snaps in your direction, “Why?”

“She wants me to have a date for the wedding. She also thinks being in a relationship will make me happier. I just don’t like using dating apps anymore.”

“No, delete it. What she’s wanting you to find isn’t going to be on a dating app. Those apps are barely used for actual dating. They’re hookup apps at this point.”

“See! That’s what I said, but she didn’t listen. I sent her screenshots of the gross messages I got earlier, and she was surprised.”

“Has she ever used one of those apps?”

“No, because she met Mingi almost immediately in college.”

“Thought so,” he mumbles, “The reason for you using that app isn’t going result in an actual good relationship. If you don’t want it, then nothing is going to work. Love can find you when you are ready and least expect it.”

“That sounded deep coming from you.”

He chuckles, “I know a thing or two about relationships.”

You observe him lift his hand to his face and stick the tip of his thumb between his lips. Little clicking sounds follow.

“Don’t bite your nails,” you scold.

His hand drops immediately as he glances at you.

“Under your nails harbor germs.”

“I haven’t died yet,” he jests.

“San!”

“It’s just a harmless habit.”

“You could get sick or get an infection in your nail beds.”

“Like I said, I haven’t died yet.”

You groan out of annoyance, and he smiles, pulling into a parking spot outside of a 24-hour pizzeria. The restaurant is located in a quaint strip of businesses. You have passed it thousands of times but never actually stopped here before. Surprisingly at this hour, a few people are dining in the restaurant and two people are at the register.

“Are you fucking serious?” San mutters under his breath as you get in the line.

“What?” You give him a worried glance.

He shakes his head and changes the subject, “What are you getting?”

You hum as you scan the menu before answering, “I think a slice of cheese. Are you getting just one slice?”

“Yeah, it’s a bit late for a lot.”

“I told you it was too late for pizza.”

He mimics you in a small voice as the cashier calls for the next in line.

San greets the man and orders, “We’ll get one slice of pepperoni and one slice of cheese.”

“I thought you were getting just one?” You slink up next to him.

“I am. That was both of our orders,” he answers, handing over a card to the man.

“San-”

“Are you two dating?” The cashier interrupts.

You shake your head while San nods, which causes you to give him an annoyed look.

“Here’s your receipt,” the man says with a smirk, “Your pizza will be out shortly.”

San snatches his credit card, the paper, and the complimentary cups from the guy.

“Why the hell did you say yes?” You try to keep your voice down as you walk away from the registers.

“For fun,” San responds curtly, the complete opposite of fun. 

Peeved, you follow him to the fountain drink machine and grumble, “You didn’t have to buy my food.”

“I asked you out. It’s only fair,” he answers while filling the cups with ice.

The words ‘I asked you out’ set your body on fire, but you know he doesn’t mean it like that. Though the delusional side of you pretends he does.

“To be honest, I’m really surprised you agreed. I was prepared for a hard no.”

You take a cup from him and fill it with one of the sodas.

“Who was your first pick?” You ask, letting go of your anger.

“Usually, Mingi, but he’s busy.”

“In the middle of the night?”

San simply hums as he heads to a booth, and you follow suit. Something is fishy about him tonight. You’re becoming suspicious of him.

“Do you not work?” You address your first observation: he asked you out around midnight on a weekday.

“I work for my uncle’s consulting firm, so I get to work from home most days.”

“Consulting firm? That sounds boring.”

“I spend my days telling businesses how to spend their money and asking rich people for donations, so yeah, it’s kinda boring. But at least I get to do all that in my sweats.”

“Must be nice to get to work from home… So what kind of businesses do you consult?”

“I’m currently working with a nursing home. They’re running out of money and don’t know what to do.”

Your heart feels heavy as he explains the home’s situation. There’s a passion in his eyes that is admirable. This is the most mature he has ever sounded. It’s actually really attractive.

“Many of the residents have family in the area, and if the home closes, they will have to relocate and most likely be moved farther away. People don’t visit homes as often as the residents would like, so more distance between them will cause even less visits.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Yeah,” he nods and solemnly looks down at the table.

Two plates land on the table with a clank, startling you. The cashier from earlier smiles at you and places a napkin next to each plate. After thanking him, you grab your napkin and notice something written on it.

“He gave me his number?”

San irritatedly rolls his eyes and takes a bite of his slice. The two of you sit in silence for a minute before he breaks it.

“What was your first kiss like?”

You are bewildered by the question. That is a memory you have repressed because, in all honesty, it wasn’t that great. In fact, you cringe thinking about it.

“Um, well, in high school, I had been talking to an upperclassman and told him my birthday was coming up. On that day, he found me in the hallway on my way to a class and just kissed me and said ‘happy birthday’ like that was a gift. At the time, I thought it was so cute and bragged to my friends about it. He turned out to be a douchebag and stopped talking to me because he was bored.”

“Bored?”

“I wouldn’t do what he wanted me to,” you say, giving San a look hoping it conveys you’re talking about sexual things.

Recognition flickers in his eyes. “Yeah, he’s a douchebag. This is why you shouldn’t date older guys. You should try dating younger guys.”

You narrow your eyes at him, and he just grins.

Ignoring that, you add, “Now, he has a tattoo above his dick that says ‘crotch rocket.’”

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“He works in adult entertainment.”

“You found him in porn?” San asks a little too loudly.

You shush him before continuing, “I didn’t find him. One of my high school friends did.”

His laughter is almost contagious. “I’m gonna need to see this tattoo.”

“I am not searching porn sites to find my first kiss. Absolutely no way.”

“I’ll find him myself then.”

You roll your eyes and reciprocate his question, “What was yours like?” 

“Not nearly as romantic,” he jokes, making you scoff, “It was during a game of truth or dare.”

“Ah, this sounds like a high school story too,” you comment before taking another bite of pizza.

“It was actually in middle school.”

“What?” Your eyebrows shoot up.

“I got dared to kiss a girl by her friends because she had a crush on me. I didn’t like her, but I didn’t want to look like a loser.”

There’s a hint of affliction in his eyes as he explains. You can tell he’s either regretful or ashamed, and it pulls at your heart.

“I’m sorry she stole that from you.”

“I’m sorry he stole that from you too.”

His sympathetic eyes dance around your face before landing on your mouth.

“You got some marinara on your lip,” he says, naturally wiping the sauce off with his thumb and then licking it off his finger.

You feel your cheeks heating up from how intimate that felt and need to move the conversation along to hide your embarrassment. Your second observation is that he mentioned needing a distraction, but from what?

“So what’s wrong with you?”

He gives you a look of confusion as he is quite clearly enjoying his time.

“What did you need a distraction from?”

“Oh… I’m also stressed about things.”

“About the wedding?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“So you invited me out in the middle of the night to emotionally eat and not talk about our feelings?”

He hums as if it is completely normal.

“This isn’t a healthy coping mechanism.”

“You worry too much.”

The silence falls over you again, and you defeatedly return your attention to your slice of pizza. But it doesn’t last long.

Suddenly, San speaks up, “Mingi is going to start staying at Mina’s apartment more often. That’s why he was busy tonight.”

“Oh, really?” You say, and he nods, “I was wondering why you two still lived together.”

“We promised each other that we’d live together until one of us got married. Now here we are.” The way he says the last sentence tells you he’s exasperated. You feel the need to assure him that living alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, although admittedly, it kind of feels like it sometimes.

“Living on your own isn’t too bad. No one eats your food, uses your shit, breaks your furniture…”

“Sounds like you’ve had a roommate from hell.”

“It wasn’t really my roommate; it was her visitor. In my second year of college, I had a roommate. She kept bringing a guy over, and I always heard them yelling and arguing. She had trust issues, and he had anger issues. One late night when they came back from god knows where, they got into a huge fight. He ended up punching a hole in my bedroom door out of rage.”

San’s expression holds hints of horror, confusion, and concern. “Did you call the police?”

“I didn’t have time. I had a paper due at midnight.”

“Y/N!”

“I know! But at least the landlord believed me and allowed me to break my lease to move into a one-bedroom apartment.”

“Was your roommate okay after all that?”

“I don’t know. They both ran after it happened. I never saw her again, and I think she blocked my number.”

He nods as he seemingly thinks about his next words. There’s a small hesitance when he asks, almost like he might step over your boundaries, “Do you not have, like, friends from high school you still hang out with?”

“I did. But it has been years since I talked to any of them.”

“What happened?”

“After graduation, none of them really stayed in touch. My best friend went to the same college as me, but she ended up transferring somewhere else. We haven’t talked much since she moved out. I figured if she wanted to, she would. I was the only one to try to catch up, but she would stop replying after a few messages,” you answer honestly. It brings up many emotions you cannot define but it hurts. So many questions about why it has turned out like this.

“I can’t imagine not talking to Mingi ever again.”

“I couldn’t imagine that in high school about my friends, but we had nothing that kept us together anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“School. We were stuck in the same place, and once we were out, it was like it never happened. It’s like we’re strangers now.”

He nods solemnly.

“I’m dreading the day my best friend gets engaged to her high school sweetheart,” you mumble, letting a little piece of pain slip out.

“Why?”

“I’ve always pictured her and our other friends in my wedding, but I don’t think she felt the same way about me. I was always the second friend, the second option… I’d be surprised if I was even invited. She could already be married for all I know. I don’t get on social media anymore.”

“Why would you want her in your wedding now?”

You sit for a second thinking about it. “I don’t really have anyone else to ask.”

“You know you don’t have to have a traditional wedding, right? You don’t need a big bridal party. There aren’t requirements for weddings.”

“I guess.”

“I would want only the people close to me to be in mine- I mean, ours.”

“Shut up,” you say in slight exasperation, and he grins with a little giggle, his eye smiles and dimples on full display.

“You really hate weddings, don’t you?”

“Yeah, basically.”

San opens his mouth to say something, but your phone lights up next to your plate with a call from Mina, effectively interrupting the conversation. As you reach for it, San snatches it out from under your hand. When you protest, he places it face down next to his plate.

“Until I drop you off, you’re mine.”

“What if it’s important?”

“It’s not.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s about me.”

“What did you do?!” You yell, to which San shushes you.

“Don’t worry about it… for now.”

“Did you ruin something?”

“Physically, no.”

“San!”

“Can I get anything out of your way?” The cashier swings by offering to take your empty plates amid your argument.

San quickly grabs your plate and crumbles your napkin before tossing it onto the plate and looking coldly into the man’s eyes. You glare at San as he stands from the booth. You try to apologize to the cashier, but San grabs your wrist and tugs you to the exit. Finally, your third observation: his hostility towards the pizzeria employee.

As soon as you’re out the door, you interrogate him, “Why did you do that? What is your deal?”

“He’s just a fucking loser who’s stuck working at a shitty pizzeria.” San unlocks his car with the key fob as you approach it.

“Just because he has a service job doesn’t make him a loser. I work at a retail store. You want to shit on that too?” You challenge him, ripping open the passenger’s side door.

“No, I did that because I see him at bars pulling the same shit as me. He has no good intentions.”

His door slams once he’s inside, him giving you a stern look.

“But I can hang out with you?” Your tone is bitter as you ask the question.

“I’m not trying to get with you,” he says while starting the engine.

It’s quite obviously the truth, but why does it hurt so bad?

“He’s not actually interested in you.” His voice softens.

“How do you know that?”

“He probably gave you his number to get back at me for getting him banned from a bar.”

Your head snaps in his direction. “How did you get him banned?”

“He followed a girl into the restroom, and I told the staff.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

This causes something to snap inside him.

“Don’t you dare compare me to that fucker. There’s a difference between waiting outside for someone you know and following an unsuspecting, drunk woman into it. I’m not some fucking monster.”

You’re too shocked by his outburst to respond. Your silence draws his attention. He exhales deeply and continues with a gentler voice, “You’re too good for him… He doesn’t deserve your time.”

“And you do?” You counter out of annoyance.

“No.”

You don’t know how to feel after that. He helped you dodge a bullet but then shot one of his own. From what you have gathered recently, San isn’t a bad person, so why wouldn’t he deserve your time? What has he done that was so bad? Without knowing what else to say, the two of you remain quiet until he pulls into a parking spot outside of your apartment building.

Before you reach for the door handle, San quietly confesses, “Me and Mingi have been going through the things we bought together and deciding who keeps what. We got into a huge argument over the TV that I paid more than half for, so I told him to go fuck himself and find another best man.”

Anger bubbles up inside you and spills over.

“What the fuck? Why would you do that?”

“Because I was mad-”

“That’s not a good reason! You are his best friend. He wants you next to him on one of the biggest days of his life, and you drop out because of a stupid argument? Out of all the childish shit you’ve done, this has to be one of the dumbest things. You are an adult. Act like one,” you scold, noticing the corners of his lips curling up, “Why are you smiling? I’m literally yelling at you.”

“Because you care.”

“Huh?”

“You wouldn’t be yelling if you didn’t.”

“I have no choice but to care. This isn’t just about you. It’s my best friend’s wedding too. And I’ve had to deal with you this long. You can’t back out now. We’re all depending on each other, including you. You’re being a pain in the ass. After you drop me off, you need to go back to your apartment and make up with Mingi.”

“He isn’t at our apartment. He’s at Mina’s.”

“Then call him and fix this.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Do you really not want to?”

He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something but then closes it.

“I know you’ve been enjoying being the best man so far. I can tell by the way you act although that includes annoying the shit out of me,” you admit reluctantly and sigh, “Do you really want to spend the rest of your time living with Mingi estranged?”

He begrudgingly shakes his head. Both of your attentions are drawn to your phone in your lap lighting up again with Mina calling.

“Don’t,” San begs.

“I already ignored her call earlier. If I do it again, she’s going to think something is wrong,” you reason with him before answering, “Hello?”

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m calling so late, but have you talked to San tonight?” The attitude in her voice reveals how pissed she is and rightfully so.

The car is silent enough for the said man to hear her speak, and he shakes his head with pleading eyes.

“I’m currently bitching him out right now,” you reply with just as much spitefulness.

“Are you with him?” She asks, baffled at the possibility.

San shakes his head more vigorously.

Not just for San’s sake but also your own, you lie, “No, I’m texting him. He’ll probably call Mingi in a little bit.”

“Oh, thank god. I swear men are so fucking stupid.”

“I know,” you agree, staring San directly in the eye.

“Okay, that’s all I wanted. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!”

After hanging up, you turn your full attention back to San, “Promise me you’ll fix this?”

“Only if we kiss on it.”

You glare at him sternly.

“I promise,” he says with a pout.

“Good.”

As you open the door and get out, San uses it as another opportunity to tease you.

“I always knew, in your own mean little way, you cared about me.”

“I always knew, in your own mean li- Shut up,” you mock, cracking him up in the process, and slam the door.

No matter how riled up he gets you, you always melt hearing his laugh. He knows exactly how to push you away and reel you right back in, and you just let him. You hate that he has that kind of effect on you. So much so that you fight the urge to punch the exterior wall of your apartment building as you head inside.

Your apartment is quiet, no flirting or teasing. The scent of coconut and vanilla lingers in the air, not cologne that smells of sandalwood and spice. Solitude welcomes you home without a charming smile and dimples. There is no longer a distraction to solely occupy your busy mind. The pitiful thoughts of your past creep back into the spotlight. The warm embrace of your bed is not enough to fend off your unrelenting insecurities. 

After reminiscing on your high school days, your heart feels heavy. All through school, you thought you and your friends would be inseparable after graduation. Why do they ghost you when you want to catch up? Why don’t they reach out just to see how you are? It makes you question if they were ever really your friends. Were you annoying? Did they secretly not like you? Were you not enough?

Your paranoia is interrupted by a text that vibrates your phone under your pillow. When you open the message, you can’t hold back the burst of laughter that erupts. San truly is something else.

From: San🖕 Is this that guy? https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?… 1:37 AM

The title of the video alone makes you cringe: “Lil Step Sis Takes a Ride on the Crotch Rocket.” While you’re ashamed this man took your lip virginity, you’re kind of thankful San has brought it up again just to make you laugh.

From: You YOU REALLY LOOKED HIM UP? 1:37 AM

-

From: San🖕 He’s not very good at his job 1:39 AM

-

From: You OMFG STOP WHY DID YOU WATCH IT? 1:40 AM

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From: San🖕 We should remake that video and show him how it’s done 😜 1:40 AM

-

From: You EW NO. I’m NOT into that. 1:41 AM

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From: San🖕 All you have to do is pretend to be stuck in something 1:41 AM

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From: You ADLKSAJFA NO 1:41 AM

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From: San🖕 If I guess one of your kinks, you would be down?? 1:41 AM

-

From: You You’re not taking me to bed. 1:42 AM

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From: You EVER. 1:42 AM

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From: San🖕 Who said it had to be on a bed? 😏 1:42 AM

Now, the only thing you can think of is him bending you over every surface in your apartment that isn’t your bed. It seems like his boldness with you is spreading to the nonphysical ways of communication. Even though it makes your heart pound in your chest, you have to keep him in line.

From: You I think you’re becoming a little more forward over text than in person. 1:43 AM

-

From: San🖕 I mean 1:43 AM

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From: San🖕 I can drive back over if you’re interested 1:43 AM

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From: You I’m sure you’d come running. 1:44 AM

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From: San🖕 Running isn’t really my thing, but I can still come for you 😘 1:45 AM

Your eyes drift to the time at the top of your screen, and you feel a little disappointed that it’s so late. As much as you want to continue this little banter, you really need to sleep because you have work later in the morning. But you can’t let him know that’s how you feel.

From: You Oh, no, would you look at the time. 1:46 AM

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From: San🖕 Don’t leave me hanging! 1:46 AM

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From: You Lol too bad. Thank you for tonight. It was fun… kinda. 1:47 AM

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From: San🖕 Of course! and I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass 😜 1:47 AM

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From: You You better be. Goodnight. 1:47 AM

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From: San🖕 Night, beautiful 😘 1:48 AM

[animationadventures]

Watched Encanto again today now that Disney Plus has it.

Had another idea for a crossover. This time with Infinity Train.

Infinity Train lore states that the train picks up people who are at a crossroads in their life.

Tulip needed to accept the changes that come with her parents’ divorce. Jesse needed to learn to stand up for himself and not try to please people all the time. Grace needed to learn empathy with those she saw as lesser. Ryan and Min-Gi’s friendship was on the fence of breaking, and they needed each other to push them in better directions.

Mirabel, never feeling good enough to make her family proud, would get picked up by the train.

I like to think it would be poetic if her train journey consisted of cars that symbolized each member of her famliy, from the ones she was closest with to the ones she had the hardest time getting along with.

Plans for Bruno could go two ways. Either Bruno could still be in Casita, and help the family deal with Mirabel’s disappearance, or he could have been picked up by the train after Mirabel’s ceremony and been on it since until Mirabel finds him hanging out in a Rat Car with a crystal ball or some way of looking in on the family.

Either way, Mirabel’s disappearance on the train sets off a major chain of self-reflection in the family still home and how they treated her. While she comes to realize that she doesn’t have to prove anything, the family confronts the issue of perfectionism Abuela has forced onto them and their own anxieties about their gifts.

When Mirabel comes back, maybe with Bruno if he was on the train, everyone is ready to talk.

Not sure if Casita would withstand Bruno’s disappearance onto the train if I would go that route, or if Mirabel’s disappearance in both cases would be the final straw that makes it collapse.

We’ll see if I ever get around to writing the idea out. Just putting my thoughts down here.

[sxlver-sweet]

Dom Poe thirst

Poe using his ability to take you somewhere for privacy.

oh. OH. h H. o.H. OHOHO.

i do apologize if this is a bit off or lacking in detail. i got exhausted out of nowhere towards the end.

contains: penetrative sex, dynamic switch (?), cunnilingus

when you first asked poe to dominate you, he had not a single shred of knowledge as to what he was supposed to do. at the time, he had fallen prey to the pleading twinkle in your eye and the way you clung to his waist, sputtering an agreement that awarded him a chaste peck to the cheek and a squeal of excitement from you. but, after mulling it over, he realized that he’s never shouldered this responsibility before and, therefore, doesn’t know what to do or say or even what he’s comfortable with. panic began to settle in. what if he couldn’t please you? what if you ended up regretting your decision to relinquish control? no, absolutely not. he was going to make it perfect for you—to exceed your expectations and treat you as well as he possibly could with his limited experience.

so, he turned to research, feverishly flipping through page after page of anatomy books and scanning websites explaining topics ranging from kinks to the preferred setting for love-making. he entertained the idea of approaching you and asking you for help, but ultimately dismissed the idea, prioritizing his pride under the guise of “being spontaneous.” he gnawed on his thumbnail as his quill scored across blank sheets of paper, charcoal calligraphy threading together a detailed scene accented with cheesy rose petals and crisp sheets and mellow lighting. blame it on his perfectionism, or his obsession with having his capabilities acknowledged by those he holds in high regards, or even his adoration for you; but, the fact remains that he wouldn’t accept anything less than his best. perfect. everything had to be perfect.

when the time came for him to activate his ability and immerse you both in the scene, he hovered anxiously in the corner of the fabricated room, fingers plucking at and wringing one another as he searched your eyes for any signs of distaste or disappointment. it was only when you turned to him, golden candlelight reflected in your starstruck gaze, and praised him for crafting such a beautiful scene in such a short amount of time that he felt his shoulders relax slightly, and he expelled a shuddered breath he hadn’t even realized had been trapped in his lungs.

truth be told, when the time for the more venereal aspect of the experience rolls around, poe still doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’d rehearsed a list of commands in the mirror about an hour ago, but now that you’re laid out all pretty and bare for him, the authoritative tone he’d been practicing is whittled down to soft, uncertain requests that bear the weight of suggestions rather than orders. still, you obey every single one, perfectly satisfied with following his rules and fulfilling his behests, so long as he’s stepping outside his comfort zone and exploring new dynamics. plus, you simply don’t have the heart to turn up your nose at his requests or challenge his authority, knowing that it would shatter his confidence and result in him hastily apologizing for telling you to do something you don’t wish to do.

having been scraping by with doling out orders at random and praying for the best, his request for you to hold your legs up had been nothing more than an impulsive decision. but, hearing your soprano whines of more! and right there! and feeling your velvet walls constrict around his shaft causes pride to bloom in his chest. the position he arranged you in—however coincidentally it may have been—is obviously quite pleasurable to you, which means that he actually did well in attaining your desires. a newfound assurance spurring him on, he sets a more consistent pace, completely unaware that the adjusted angle provided by your position is allowing him to reach so deep in your cunt that his leaking tip knocks against that one spongy area nestled in your walls—that one specific spot that has your eyes glossing over with the prettiest tears and your stomach tingling with pleasure.

“you okay, dear?” poe pants, tone wavering with each rock of his hips into yours.

you sniffle pathetically, fingernails carving crescent impressions into the flesh of your thighs as you fight to keep your legs from slipping out of your sweaty palms. “deep,” is about all you can manage in your current state. your eyelids flutter over irises hazy with bliss. “so deep.”

“does it…” poe hesitates, dreading your potential answer. “does it feel good?”

your voice is little more than a whimper as you nod desperately, “please, i want more.”

“shh, okay,” poe murmurs, his heart swelling at the sight of you unraveling in his hold, “okay, love, just relax. i’ll take care of you.”

hmm… maybe he could get used to this.

[the-mostdiabolik-of-lovers]

Matchup please?~

I'm a very short girl, average weight (and more on the flat side lol), very pale skin and dark hair and eyes, with partial heterocromia in one of them. I tend to feel cold easily.

I'm very shy and introverted, suffering from anxiety especially when it comes to social interactions. People often say I'm smart, and I've always been very good at school but little do they know, I actually never study much and what saves me is my good memory and my absolute fear of failing and not meeting either my own or others' expectations. Sadly though, this trick doesn't work with Math because my brain can't understand anything past the four operations, no matter how hard I try 💔

I'm very harsh on myself and I'm often a perfectionist. I love animals a lot, especially cats and birds. I'm typically quiet and I don't talk much, I especially hate small talk BUT if the conversation is about something I actually care about, then I easily get carried away with it, raising my voice and putting so much passion and emotions into what I say.

I have a good sense of humor and, despite my anxiety and shyness, I laugh easily. I love drawing and I quite enjoy baking, plus I like playing videogames and watching movies (but I can't help but commenting the movie as I'm watching it, which often bothers the people around me lol).

I like discussing philosophical matters and I'm quite a melancholic person, often feeling stuck in the past as I struggle to let go of it. Speaking of which, I've been bullied a lot and I haven't really recovered from those traumas yet (I have severe trust issues).

I adore things that are commonly viewed as childish such as plushies, and I collect mugs/cups. I love hot tea and I drink a bit too much of it ... I also have a sweet tooth in general and I can't stand spicy flavors.

I may seem all proud and mighty during a verbal fight, but if you hit the wrong nerve I'll start crying a lot and feel very helpless and vulnerable.

Despite not being a blatantly rebellious person, I'm definitely not the submissive type either and I'll probably try to rebel by outsmarting the other person without being noticed. I hate it when things aren't at least partially under my control so I guess you could say I'm lowkey a dominant person although I don't seem like it on the outside. I'm pretty cuddly especially when I feel down, but I'm not clingy and I absolutely need my my alone time.

Huh I don't know what else to say// I hope that's enough, haha~

I wish you a great day 💗

YOU’RE MATCHED WITH RUKI MUKAMI!

“You’re slacking behind again, come now. You know you must study to avoid overwhelming yourself and buying into your perfectionism, Livestock. Here, let me get you started.”

Appearance:

　　❈  Layers, layers, layers. Ruki will not let you leave the house without  a decent amount of layers on since you tend to feel cold easily. He won’t have you catching a cold on his watch.

　　❈  Short is fine by him. You’re shorter than him, even in heeled-shoes (hopefully) so he’s perfectly content with how that makes him feel.

　　❈  He doesn’t really care about chest-size. Sure, one or two comments may be made for his own amusement, but he’s no Ayato so you’e not going to find him complaining.

　　❈  He finds your eyes stunning. Kou technically is in the same boat as you, but Ruki finds your heterocromia particularly nice to look at.

Personality:

　　❈  Ruki isn’t opposed at all to the fact that you’re more quiet and shy than some others. He likes the peace and quiet, and enjoys spending time with you in the quiet when he can. Of course, though, he does enjoy when you both have something nice to talk about  or reminisce on.

　　❈  He probably notices you don’t study often and, instead, use your memory and fears to achieve good grades. So, prepare for a shift in your schedule; He is going to ensure you don’t overwhelm yourself and feed into any of these fears. You will be studying.

　　❈  From time to time, Ruki also seems to be nothing but harsh on you too, but he only wants the best for you. He is also one hell of a perfectionist, so trust him to be just as worked up as you about grades and the like. Together, you’ll need to work on taking a chill pill and relaxing. 

　　❈  He actually loves when you get worked up about something you’re interested in. The passion and emotion you display really reminds him why he finds such a deep interest in you.

　　❈  You’re also both deep thinkers, so you work perfectly together when discussing ideas and reflecting on life. Both of you can be stuck in the past too, but in certain ways, you ease each other out into the here and now.

　　❈  Ruki acknowledges your more sensitive sides and takes care most of the time to avoid striking any nerves (unless that’s his aim). He has a way with words, so these verbal fights ma easily get out of hand, after all.

　　❈  You needn’t be totally submissive to him, no. Your lowkey dominance is something he finds thrilling; Something he enjoys both subduing and re-enforcing depending on his own mood.

Your Interests:

　　❈  You for sure bake together. It’s Ruki after all. He notes your sweet tooth especially to make sweeter things (much to Azusa’s distaste).

　　❈  Video games and moves are something he usually just takes a back seat with. He’ll watch you play or watch the movie, but doesn’t ever seem overly interested/invested so your commentary is actually engaging for him.

　　❈  Drawing though? He loves that hobby, as it’s more quiet. He can read whilst you draw, it’s perfect.

　　❈  He may or may not be financially invested in our plushies (if you beg him, he’ll be spending a eye-watering amount on it). 

Other Possible Matches: Kou Mukami, Carla Tsukinami.

[friendlyfaded]

Whoo, okay, here we go! @mar-the-magician , this one’s for you! (I put it under a cut so I’m not crowding anyone’s dash)

Gavin/Geordi

So Gavin/Geordi is one I think I’ve talked about before (I believe because of you, Mar!), and I can really see the potential here! I feel like Geordi would be put off by Gavin if he met him giving head at a 7Eleven (given his demonstrated discomfort with pda in the 2022 hbs audio), so I figure they’d meet some other way. I’m thinking Geordi’s friends or coworkers drag him to a bar, he’s lowkey sulking at the bar because he doesn’t want to be here, and Gavin picks up on his distress and sadness and approaches him. Gavin would be an excellent match for Geordi. He’s flirty enough to push his way into Geordi’s view, persistent enough to not let Geordi’s insecurities put him off, and has the ability to read what kinds of emotions Geordi is feeling at any given moment. Part of the reason Geordi works so well with Cutie is that they know how to help him when his mind starts spiraling, and he balances that out with softness, comfort, and validation. Those are three things Gavin really needs in a relationship, given his issues with self-image and autonomy.

Asher/Darlin

Oh the potential here! Asher has been demonstrated on multiple occasions to be extremely emotionally mature and supportive. Darlin’, on the other hand, tends to neglect themself in favor of helping/protecting other people. They also get lost in the details more often than not, getting so hyperfocused on their hunt for Quinn that they ignore basic needs like food and sleep. Asher would be amazing at helping them slow down and offering help. Darlin’ isn’t the type to ask for any kind of help. Imo I think it makes them feel guilty, having to “drag people into their own problems.” Ash wouldn’t have any of that. He wouldn’t give up on trying to help. He spent years forcing his way past David’s walls after Gabe died because he knew his friend needed him, whether David wanted to accept that or not. I think he’d do the same for Darlin’. On the other side, Darlin has the kind of free spirit and protectiveness that would suit Asher nicely. They’re assertive, which beautifully contrasts Ash’s generally more passive and chill personality. They contrast, which makes them work really well!

Milo/Gavin

I am weak for any ship involving Gavin, and I adore Milo, so I already love this. Sweetheart’s brand of teasing is different from Gavin’s, but I feel like Milo does best in a relationship with someone who challenges him like SH does. Gavin would definitely be up for that! He’s got the right amount of loving teasing energy coupled with his understanding of boundaries that would mesh well with Milo’s perfectionism and occasional high-strung attitude. Milo is a good fit for Gavin because, as he himself says, he’s the protector type, and I feel like Gavin needs someone looking out for him after who even knows how long of being alone. That’s not even to mention both of them know what it’s like to be an outcast among their own kind, so they could connect on that, too!

Damien/Asher

I’ve read the Damien/Asher fics more times than I can count, and I love them just as much every time. Asher is calm and steady, something Damien really needs in a partner. He’s able to tell Damien when he needs to slow down and take breaks, and he’s not worried about superficial things like species/magical race. Damien is organized and structured, and he would be able to strongarm Asher into eating better and taking things more seriously. Plus, both of them are very all-or-nothing with relationships, from what I’ve seen. They don’t play around, they know what they want and they go for it. They value honesty. They’d be on equal ground with regard to what they are, and they’d be able to reciprocate each other’s feelings equally. All in all, it definitely works!

Milo/Lasko

Saved this one for last because you’re really coming for my heart with this one. Like I said, Milo is the protector type. He likes being able to be there for people. Honestly, I get the vibe that his love language is acts of service. Lasko, on the other hand, is skittish and has trouble accepting kindness. Words are easy to misunderstand, physical touch can be overwhelming, and gift giving can make people feel guilty for not being able to reciprocate. Acts of service is a perfect way to show someone like Lasko that they care in a way that’s hard to deny and doesn’t involve things that are easy to misconstrue. Lasko is also acts of service, for the same reasons. They fit really well together because of that.

Personality-wise, they also fit really well! Milo is there to check in and make sure Lasko is okay, to pull him aside if things get too overwhelming, to mother hen him if need be. Lasko takes on too much and always pushes himself too hard trying to make others happy, but Milo is there to support him and remind him that he’s allowed to turn down people’s requests for help if it’s too much. On the other hand, Milo tends to be a little obsessive. I hc that he has OCD (totally not projecting at all). Lasko understands what it’s like having to make accomodations for oneself, and he’s able to help Milo accept that about himself. He’s a pillar of acceptance and comfort for Milo to relax into. They can both be themselves entirely around one another because they have that deep understanding of each other.

Finally, I’d like to point out that Gavin tells us that when Lasko knows he’s good at something, he’s confident. I feel like Milo would be an absolute mess for confident Lasko. Here’s this man who stumbles over his words when someone is glaring at him, smirking at a tv screen while he kicks someone’s ass at Smash, and Milo didn’t know he could fall further in love but clearly he has. Milo would do everything in his power to help Lasko embrace that confidence within himself while adoring the shy, sweet person Lasko truly is.

[carewyncromwell]

How about an alternate love interest for carewyn?

LMAO, I kind of hate myself for saying this, considering how super popular he is with the fandom...but Talbott. 😂

I'm sorry, I’ve considered other endgame ships in the past for Carewyn like Chiara/Carewyn and Diego/Carewyn, and they are both friggin’ adorable...but whenever I write Carewyn and Talbott interacting, they always have such fun platonic chemistry, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to see them being not so platonic. The stuff I wrote for them in the second half of my Lone Wolves roleplay series really accents this --

Carewyn: “(curiously) So…what are you?”

Talbott: “Hn?”

Carewyn: “Your Animagus form.”

Talbott: “(smirks) What do you think?”

[Carewyn raised her eyebrows. Talbott’s smirk broadened, to reveal teeth.]

Talbott: “Indulge me.” 

[Trying not to smile amusedly at him throwing her own words back at her, Carewyn considered this.]

Carewyn: “(airily) Hmm…well, I could see you as a Doberman.”

Considering your habit of biting people’s hands off.

[Talbott actually gave a loud snort. One could’ve mistaken it for genuine laughter, but he tried to cover it up as something more derisive. The reaction actually made Carewyn smile a bit more broadly despite herself.]

Carewyn: “But judging by that reaction, I reckon that’s way off. Your mother was a swan, so you could be a bird of some kind…but considering you’re so opposed to Quidditch and flying, I have a bit of a hard time seeing that…”

Talbott: “(coolly) I said I’m not interested in Quidditch friendlies. I never said I didn’t like flying.”

Carewyn: “(amusedly) Aha! A bird it is, then. Thanks for the hint. Care to give me any more?”

Talbott: “(very dryly) Nope. One’s enough.”

Carewyn: “(smirks) Hn! If you’re a swan yourself, I guess you’d have to be a mute one.”

[Talbott once again snorted loudly. This time, though, he was having a lot of trouble keeping the smirk off his face, which likewise made Carewyn smile.]

I ultimately think Talbott and Carewyn would probably be way too serious of a pair-up (I mean, seriously, get these two some sunshine stat!!)...but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t see them being a pretty good couple, if they got together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking down the Carion shipper flag anytime soon, because ultimate sunshine man Orion really helps Carewyn find some peace and contentment and pursue better psychological health, which she severely needs -- but after giving it some thought, I’ve decided that, of all of Carewyn’s friends, Talbott is probably the one who’d be the best choice for “alternate love interest.” He’s one of the few who can make Carewyn laugh a lot with his equally dry, witty sense of humor, but he’s also blunt enough to call her out on her crap, intellectual enough to engage her interest, and encouraging enough that he wouldn’t subconsciously push her perfectionism any harder the way that people like Andre do. And on the flip side, Carewyn is able to tap into Talbott’s feelings very deeply with both her strong Legilimency potential and highly developed empathy, making it so she can easily understand and articulate Talbott’s feelings when he has trouble saying the right words, and she shares his strong desire to make the world better and prevent other innocent people from being hurt the way she and Talbott were. Plus they honestly are the types who’d prefer a quiet existence rather than anything flashy or loud. There would admittedly be a bit of a conflict of interest in the working world if these two were a couple, since I see Talbott as an Auror and Carewyn as a lawyer who work together rather frequently -- but yeah, their career paths would still match up really well too. I’m kind of reminded of how Barbara Gordon in Batman Beyond ended up becoming a police chief who was married to Gotham City District Attorney Sam Young. 😆  I also personally headcanon Talbott on the “A” side of the LGBT+ community, just like Carewyn and Orion are (though I headcanon Talbott as demi, Carey as ace/pan, and Orion as gray-A), so that matches up too! 💜🤍🖤

Alternate Love Interest Ask!

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for Finishing Your Novel

April’s session of Camp NaNoWriMo is drawing to a close, and you might find yourself nearing the end of your novel. If you need some tips on writing and polishing the ending of your story, author Derek Murphy is here to share a few! Plus, you can check out the rest of our novel-finishing resources on our #NaNoFinMo page. 

You won NaNoWriMo and have a 50k collection of scenes and sentences, but how do you clean it up and get it done? How do you make sure it’s finished, satisfying and enjoyable? Here are 5 powerful strategies for finishing your novel and some helpful writing tips that will push you past the finish line.

1. Give it a satisfying resolution.

In order to have a powerful story, your book should probably focus on a main character’s change or transformation. There’s an inner war, a.k.a. the character’s emotional healing, and an outer war: the conflict that forced the reckoning. If it’s a purely symbolic internal realization, you can mirror that with actual conflict in the real scene: the breaking of a dish, a fit of rage, a sudden ray of sunlight (or a storm… this should not be pleasant; It’s a breaking point and spiritual death/rebirth).

You can clarify the moment of change by setting up an illustrative contrast, a before and after, that shows how those internal changes have resulted in real-world consequences or benefits. Each character’s unique challenge will match their personal weakness or fear. The price for victory is the one thing they have so far refused to do, or something they cannot give up or bear to lose.

Make sure your protagonist has gone through a transformative struggle to arrive at deep insights, knowledge or awareness. Find a way to deepen the incidental scenes so that they become instrumental to a deeper purpose, leading towards an identity-shifting event.

The plot is what happens, and it’s important. But you can make it more dramatic and meaningful by making sure you demonstrate how hard it was and what it cost. It matters, it is remarkable, because it forced your protagonist to change.

Your conclusion might include:

Physical tension as allies perform a tug-of-war battle against resistance, that shows how difficult this struggle is, and how much force is required.

The consideration phase, as characters are tempted last minute or the price for victory is revealed: the sweet memories that give them awareness that this fight is worth the cost or risk (you need to show them making the choice, knowing what they will lose).

The final flashback, as the full backstory is revealed so we can see exactly why this conflict is so difficult or meaningful for the main character.

2. Add (unresolved) conflict.

Your story is made up of the events and scenes, where something happens. Each new event will push the characters further into the plot. Slow scenes where nothing is really happening can be red flags, so the first thing to focus on is increasing conflict, drama, suspense and intrigue. This is what creates urgency. The full reveal, demonstrating why THIS challenge is so difficult and powerful, should happen just before the final battle or resolution.

You want to make sure every scene, especially in your conclusion, has enough conflict. I recommend these three:

Outer Conflict (threats): Challenges or obstacles that prevent the character from achieving goals.

Inner Conflict (doubts): Moral struggles, decisions, guilt or shame, anger.

Friendly Fire (betrayal): Strong disagreements between allies or supporting characters. 

You want to extend and deepen the potential conflict, without resolving it too easily. The biggest destroyer of conflict is conversation: when your characters just sit around and talk to each other. Most conflict involves a lack of information, and a desire for clarity. A lot of conflict is perceived or imagined.

The most important information needs to come last, and come at a great price. The information that has an emotional impact, and influences their actions and decisions, should be big reveals at dramatic peaks. A surprise or twist should be treated as an event: each scene is leading towards a change or new piece of information that provokes the protagonist to respond.

3. Fill plot holes with character motivation.

After you’ve made sure that “what actually happens” is intriguing (opening questions and raising tensions without resolving them) you can focus on making sure the plot holes are filled, and characters are properly motivated – these two things are usually adjacent.

You can find and fill plot holes by asking:

Why are the characters doing this?

Why does any of it matter?

Basically, readers need to respect the main characters enough to care what happens to them, so their choices and actions need to make sense within the given information. If there’s a simpler, easier solution, readers will get stuck up on “why didn’t they just…”? To fix plot holes and gaps in logic or continuity, or make the story go where you need it to, you can add urgency, fix the mood of the scene (bigger stakes require bigger justifications), show characters in a weakened mental state, or raise concerns but have them dismissed, with an excuse or justification.

You need rational characters to make plausible choices that lead to dire consequences. You need show why they don’t do something easier, or nothing at all, or why they face clear challenges, despite potential obstacles.

They’ll also require a deeper motivation, for why they’re willing to put themselves in identity-destroying conflict, rather than just giving up or running away. Why do they stay in THIS fight, when they’ve run from similar ones? If they weren’t ready at the beginning, why are the ready now – what changed in them, as a result of your story’s journey?

Your protagonist needs to have a strong, consistent internal compass, and it needs to be revealed through incidents that establish their character. This is who they are. Without this reliable core identity, we won’t be able to tell a story that forces them to change. 

4. Let readers picture your story with detailed description.

In the final stages of revision, you can begin improving the description with specific details.

It’s smart to start – or end – a chapter with a vivid, immediate scene. You want to leave readers with an image they can see in their minds, hopefully connected to the feeling you aim to evoke. You can close a chapter with a reference back to a motif or image, with a deeper or more reflective context; applying meaning to the metaphor. This will help readers feel engaged, be moved, and leave a lasting impact.

Vivid scenes are mostly a matter of detailed description, so add the specifics about the story environment. Be precise, not vague. Instead of “she put a plate of tea and snacks on the table” you can write “she gently placed an antique porcelain teapot on the table. I could smell it was Earl Grey from the scent of bergamot. The half-sleeve of Oreos and can of onion-flavored Pringles seemed incongruous with the fancy dishes, but I knew she was making an effort to welcome me.”

Focus on the sensations and feelings; but also zero-in on any potential sources of conflict or internal emotions or states of mind. In my example above, the host might be nervous or ashamed of her spread; or perhaps she has a degenerative brain disease and doesn’t notice the incongruity. Tensions are unspoken, potential sources of negative feelings. They hover in the background of your description.

Readers will remember the pictures you put in their heads, not the words on the page.

Description should serve and be bound to the story, not distract from it.

It should be squeezed into and around the scene action, when the protagonist is using or exploring.

Show what’s different, not what’s the same.

Leave space for readers to fill in the gaps, but get them started in the right direction so they aren’t surprised later.

Sidenote: be careful about your metaphors, analogies and similes. Each one will put a picture into readers’ minds, and it can quickly get overcrowded with imagery. You’re asking them to ignore your real scene and think of something else. Use them to confirm and amplify the scene you have, and limit distractions.

5. Prepare to publish.

Typos are bad, but perfectionism will ruin you. This section is about editing and proofreading, but I don’t have time for all that, and you don’t either. The real problem with a story is rarely the number of typos. A very clean book isn’t better if people stop reading.

You can solve a lot of common writing problems, with my big list of 25 common writing mistakes, and self-edit your manuscript to make it as good as possible. After that, a copyeditor or proofreader isn’t always the best investment (and it can also be the biggest publishing cost).

Instead, use an editing software (I like Grammarly) to root out obvious mistakes, but don’t dwell on the small stuff like perfecting every word or rearranging the commas. Spending a very long time wrestling a poorly-written manuscript in shape is less effective than getting something (actually) done to the point where you’re comfortable sharing it.

This may be difficult at first, but you can’t learn and improve without genuine reader feedback (from people who aren’t your mom or best friend; nor the short-sighted opinions of a self-proclaimed literature enthusiast). You need to find readers who enjoy your particular genre, and the sooner you find them, the more valuable feedback you can get.

Shorten the feedback loop: Get over the fear and focus on learning by getting feedback early and often. However, this doesn’t just mean joining a writer’s club: writers are brutal and might focus on trivial things. The safest bet is to make it public, on Wattpad at least. Or get a cheap cover and throw it up on Kindle, Draft2Digital or even your own blog.

Making it public is scary and vulnerable, but it’s better than letting the fear of messing up keep you from the brutal, necessary experience of allowing readers to tell you what they liked and disliked about your writing. Will some people be critical? Yes! But guess what, you’ll get negative reviews even if you’re a brilliant, famous writer. Those are inevitable. And the first negative reviews may teach you more about writing than 10 years attempting to self-edit, afraid of putting your book out into the world.

PS. You can use resources, like my 24-chapter plot outline, as a way to spot story gaps in your manuscript and improve the structure (especially if your book suffers from a “soggy middle.)

Derek Murphy has a PhD in Literature, writes urban fantasy and is the founder of the alliance of young adult authors. More recently, he’s started sharing writing tips on http://www.writethemagic.com

Top photo by Adegbenro Emmanuel Dipo on Unsplash.

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived. 

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human. 

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time. 

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.) 

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know. 

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson. 

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either. 

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories. 

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault. 

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval. 

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him. 

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him. 

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.