#poi chaos au

[tiny-chrys]

[ENGLISH]

Well, it's been months since I posted, but now that I'm on vacation from college I hope to be able to dedicate myself more to drawings.

Anyway, I'm still on a Hazbin/Helluva vibe (even more so now that the new HB ep is out), and my vibes with a series usually last for a whole year.

I decided to play with character redesigns and during this period I started to become interested in Hazbin Hotel AUs, more specifically a "What if" whose premise is "What if Charlie was taken to Heaven as a baby?", or better yet "What if she was transformed into an Angel?", that was the result.

This frame and background were the result of me not resisting the urge to add complexity where it doesn't need to be.

[PORTUGUÊS]

Pois é, faz meses que eu não posto, mas agora que entrei de férias da faculdade espero poder me dedicar mais aos desenhos.

Enfim, ainda tó na vibe de Hazbin/Helluva (ainda mais agora que saiu ep novo de HB), e minhas vibes com uma série geralmente costumam durar por um ano inteiro.

Decidi brincar com redesings de personagens e nesse periodo comecei a me interessar por AUs de Hazbin Hotel, mais especificamente um "What if" cuja a premissa é "E se Charlie fosse levada pelo o Paraíso quando bebê?", ou melhor ainda "E se ela fosse tranformada em um Anjo?", esse foi o resultado.

Essa moldura e fundo foram o resultado de eu não resistir a vontade de colocar complexidade onde não precisa.

The Princess of Heaven, Charlotte

[ENGLISH]

In this case, the transformation into an angel would happen because of God themselves (yes, Charlie's grandpa, or grandma, depends on they will).

In my mind, the scene set up was:

Charlie was brought to Heaven after an extermination (I haven't planned the details of the process yet) and was handed over to Sera. The Seraphim was in shock, because she realized right away who that baby was, she didn't know what to do and went to consult her superiors, in this case the 6 Archajes (aka Lucifer's brothers).

A lot of discussion and chaos, some believing that the fruit coming from the unholy union between a Fallen Archangel and a Corrupted Human would be the Anti-Christ herself, they wanted to "cut evil at the root" fearing that it could bring problems in the future, others trying to be more sensible, after all she was just a baby and should not be condemned for her parents' sins.

Sera agreed with the latter, and the reason for her empathy was her little sister Emily (who was also a baby at that time), but she remained quiet throughout the discussion as she had no power to interfere in the Archangels' decisions. Miraculously, their prayers were answered, because God decided to intervene for the first time since Creation, even though he didn't show himself, everyone recognized the light that purified baby Charlie from demonic evil and blessed her with the sacred angelic glow, making her decision clear to everyone.

Remembering that Angels highly value hierarchy, so the word of God is law and should never be questioned. Now Heaven had a new princess, a new Morning Star.

[PORTUGUÊS]

No caso, a transformação em anjo aconteceria por causa do próprio Deus (sim, o vovô da Charlie, ou vovó, depende da sua vontade).

Na minha cabeça, a cena montada foi:

Charlie foi trazida ao Paraíso depois de um exterminio (ainda não planejei os detalhes do processo) e foi entregue nas mãos de Sera. A Serafim em choque, porque percebeu logo de cara quem era aquele bebê, não saberia o que fazer e foi consultar seus superiores, no caso os 6 Arcajos (vulgo irmãos de Lúcifer).

Muita discussão e caos, uns acreditando que aquele fruto vindo da união profana entre um Arcanjo Caído e uma Humana Corrompida seria o Anti-Cristo em pessoa queriam "cortar o mal pela raíz" temendo que ela poderia trazer problemas no futuro, outros tentando serem mais sensatos, afinal era só um bebê e não deveria ser condenada pelos pecados do pais.

Sera concordava com esses ultimos, e o motivo de sua empatia era a sua irmãzinha Emily (que também era um bebê nessa época), mas ficou quieta durante toda a discussão já que ela não tinha poder para interferir nas decisões do Arcanjos. Milagrosamente, suas preces foram atendidas, porque decidiu Deus intervir pela primeira vez desde a Criação, mesmo não se mostrando, todos reconheciam a luz que purificou a bebê Charlie da maldade demoniaca e lhe abençoando o brilho sagrado anjelical, deixando claro para todos a sua decisão.

Lembrando que os Anjos valorizam muito a hierarquia, logo a palavra de Deus é lei e jamais deve ser questionada. Agora o Céu tinha uma nova princesa, uma nova Estrela da Manhã.

[sapphicteaparty]

Hey, do you have any POI fic/writer recs? I love your art btw - I first found you because of Sunny and Rainy (have been especially enjoying this latest arc) and then when I recentlyish watched POI I was like oh I get to binge more of your art! Love the soft and funny scenes

oh you're in luck because there is so much POI fic and a lot of it is really well written. however i've only read Shoot and Shoot ™ fics, so if you're interested in other ships then i'm not the right person to ask.

but do check out these writers:

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthatisterrible/pseuds/andthatisterrible

probably best to start with Sliding Towards Chaos if you want something closer to the canon setting but if you want AUs then you're gonna have a great time because there's so much of that too! some of my personal favorites are The Lighthouse Keeper and Through Dark Waters

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightly_brightly/pseuds/brightly_brightly

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/swu/pseuds/swu

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadianwheatpirates/pseuds/canadianwheatpirates

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/winged_mammal/pseuds/winged_mammal

The Signal's Just a Roar is one of my favorites

⭐ https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeafouralarmfire/pseuds/likeafouralarmfire

have fun!

[theubb]

Yo bit late, i am well awere BUT first month school was way too busy and then updating my Sally Acorn design took way longer than i expected but finally with like 3 weeks left i can start postin schtuff for the event.

And i am well aware that the frame rate sucks and some of the textures look wrong so here is a screenshot for what its supposed to look like.

Not super different i know but as the person with all the details i think it looks better in the screenshot.

I am also well aware of the lack of shadows and how bad the background looks in places. Fact of the matter is that after working on this abunch and having alot of hurdles i could not continue further; i was mentally exhausted. So yes i cut corners but i expect you people will understand. I hope.

Anywhoozle Fact of the matter is i had (in my opinion) a pretty neat idea for a story for the event which i will still do BUT i am unable to finnish it BUT i wont leave it on a complete cliffhanger.

Plan is to do parts 1-5 as part 5 is the first best possible stepping of point for the story in my own humble opinion. Part 5 will thus be a big one, i am quite certain i do not have time for it before the event ends so it will almost certianly come after.

I will not explain this AU in this part, im saving that for part 2. There i will probably talk abunch a bout this AU but not everything. Thats for part 5 where im planning on laying all the cards on the table so to say. Yknow explain some extra schtuff for this AU and where the story would have gone next yea? All cards on the table.

And with all that off my chest lets talk bout whats actually happenin here yea?

So Nine here arrives in 3479-3 and immediately sees a big ship in the distance that is emitting alot of chaos energy, aint that neat? so naturally he shall make his way over there, there are no other POIs in the immediate vicinity.

He shall meet his first inhabitant of this AU in part 2 where the nature of 3479-3 shall become quite aparent and i shall do alot of exposition, see you then yea?

Also just wanna say that i will talk even more about the making of part 1 over on me twitter account (@/TheUbbinatorium) for those curios. will most certianly mention how much i despise the ship design i made there but i dont want to get too derailed; just know it makes me incredibly dissapointed in myself.

[sunsafewriting]

god you're actually so right about the poi au tho, bea as shaw, hyper competent and beleaguered, just wants to do her job and save the numbers, ava as root, chaos incarnate, dropping ten terrible pick up lines a minute and winking w both eyes... high art <3

I am going insane exactly exactly like,,, Ava would be in her ERA doing little missions in little disguises where it's all a puzzle that she figures out as she goes along and every day is a different adventure and Beatrice is a Certified Professional but the Machine just keeps giving Ava opportunities to drop in like 👀😏 hi ,, wingman

[dertaglichedan]

The Biden administration plans to charter at least one evacuation flight out of Haiti, but only for stranded Americans who can reach the exfiltration point at their own risk, the State Department announced Saturday.

The State Department is “arranging a charter flight for U.S. citizens” to escape Haiti, which has descended into chaos as criminal gangs fight in the streets for control of the Caribbean nation, the agency announced. Because the airport in Port-au-Prince — the Haitian capital, the largest city in the country and scene of the worst fighting — has been shut down, the State Department is planning to fly Americans out of Cap-Haitien, but only if stranded Americans are able to get to Cap-Haitien in time on their own

[asleepinawell]

Fandom: Person of Interest

Relationship: Root/Sameen Shaw

Rating: E

Chapters: 5/7

Shaw is working as security on a secluded government research base on the edge of a mysterious void. When Root shows up claiming that something terrible is about to happen, Shaw has to decide if she can trust her.

this would be the E-rated chapter

[brightly-painted-canvas]

Credo che possiamo affermare con assoluta certezza che tutte le bambine della parrocchia avrebbero una cotta fotonica per Nico l'animatore del Grest, E LE MAMME SAREBBERO PURE PEGGIO, "tanto un caro ragazzo lui..."

Ah, sì. Poco ma sicuro. Headcanon accepted. Passerebbe il tempo circondato da bimbe (e bimbi perché no) adoranti che lo seguono ovunque e che parlano di lui talmente tanto a casa che tutti i genitori si sono fatti assurdi film mentali su questa figura mitologica. E poi se lo trovano davanti all'orario di uscita e pure le mamme perdono la testa.

A riguardo, piccolo aneddoto personale: anche io quando facevo l'animatrice ero molto apprezzata dai più piccoli XD Una volta un bambino di seconda elementare mi ha regalato una carta Pokémon e mi ha chiesto di sposarlo.

Quindi, dato che avevo promesso avrei provato a scrivere un po', complimenti: hai vinto una drabble ispirata proprio a questo fatto realmente accaduto! :D

.

Innocent proposal (animatore!Nicky AU)

When the bell rings, announcing it’s time to gather up the teams for prayers before heading to the mess hall for lunch, Nicky is still helping Jacopo solve a math problem.

“It’s okay. We will finish this tomorrow.” he smiles at the 9 years old, who looks ready to bolt, summer homework already very far from his young mind.

“Grazie, Nico!” he exclaims, while dutifully picking up his book and pencil case.

Nicky gets up, helps the kids gather their stuff, cleans up the study room and heads down to the gym, where Don Luigi is waiting for all the 120 kids attending this year’s oratorio estivo to sit on the floor before starting his usually brief and often sung pre-lunch prayer.

.

The gym is already full of it’s typical colourful mass of kids, from the ‘juniores’ to the ‘seniores’, all with caps and neckerchiefs of their team’s colour: blue, red, yellow or green.

Nicky is about to slalom through a group of rowdy seniores to reach the side of the gym where the other animatori are seated, when he feels a tug at the back of his t-shirt.

He stops, turns his head and looks down, surprised in seeing little Chiara biting her lips and still holding the hem of his shirt in her tiny fist.

“What is it, darling?” he asks, smiling down at her.

When she lets him go, he turns and crouches down at her level, balancing on his heels, to give his whole attention to the shy, sweet 7 years old.

“Vanessa taught us how to make beaded bracelets.” she says, her voice so thin it’s almost impossible to hear her mumbling beneath the chaos of the gym.

“Did she? That’s very nice!” he encourages her, while in his mind he is revising his animatrice friend Vanessa, that very morning, cursing at all the colourful beads boxes she had to carry from the storage to the art laboratory.

Chiara, who already has her own bracelet around her small wrist, produces another bracelet from her jeans’ pocket: it has beads of all the colours of the rainbow, not really placed in a logical order. At the center there is a dice shaped white bead with an ‘N’ printed on it.

“This is for you.” Chiara says, possibly even more softly than before.

“Grazie, Chiara! È bellissimo!” exclaims Nicky, accepting the gift and immediately snapping the plastic elastic band around his thick wrist: the bracelet it’s a bit tight, but he’s surely gonna wear it proudly all through summer camp now.

“It’s because I think you’re very nice and handsome and I like you very very much.” says Chiara then, somewhere somehow finding the courage to even raise her voice a bit.

Nicky blinks exactly twice, then he smiles sweetly, trying not to burst into a laugh in the face of such a cute love confession: “Thank you, I like you too.” he says, taking the girl’s tiny hand in his huge one. He can’t help falling a bit in love with every small kid he tutors during oratorio estivo each summer: they’re adorable, even the most troublemakers.

Then Chiara asks suddenly: “Will you marry me, Nicolò?”, catching him so off guard he almost loses balance on his crouching and falls on his ass.

He fumbles, looking into her hopeful, big green eyes as she waits for an answer. He knows he can’t get away with a joke or an attempt to gloss over. He has to give her a reply, so as not to hurt the shy girl’s feelings.

.

Later that evening, Nicky is sprawled on the couch eating popcorn, distractedly watching some superhero movie on Joe’s big flatscreen TV while his boyfriend slowly and lovingly massages his sore feet and calves. Joe has had Nicky’s legs propped on his lap since the moment they sat down, claiming that helping Nicky relax and ease the pain of more than 8 hours spent standing, running and lifting heavy stuff, was his favourite job.

Above them the ceiling fan whirs in a monotone and Nicky is almost falling asleep were it not for the loud booms of explosions from the TV and the many sounds of late summer evenings coming from the street’s bars and restaurants below. Joe’s apartment is in a very lively neighbourhood.

By the minute Nicky is feeling his eyelids drooping and his breath becoming deeper and slower and he’s about to let slumber win when Joe suddenly moves, getting up.

“I bought gelato. The pistacchio and stracciatella one you like so much. Want some?” he asks, already smiling, knowing that not even deep tiredness could deter Nicky from eating his favourite summer dessert.

“Ti amo tantissimo.” he just mumbles as a reply, smiling dumbly with his eyes half closed and his neck skewed at such an odd angle he must have at least five chins showing. He can’t even English at the moment, so he just continues with much fondness: “Cosa devo fare io per meritarmi un amore grande così…”

Joe snorts, having heard him from the kitchen.

He comes back a few minutes later, one cup of ice cream and a spoon in each hand, and places them on the coffee table before bending to kiss Nicky on the (slightly sweaty, ugh, gross) forehead.

“You have to kiss me, hold me close even if it’s summer…” he starts listing, plopping down on the couch and then in Nicky’s arms, linking their legs, pushing his face against Nicky’s too warm collarbone.

His mop of curls brushes under Nicky’s nose and he huffs, but still accepts the weight (and warmth) of his boyfriend on his tired body.

“You have to take me out on dates, go to the beach with me when oratorio estivo is over and, one day, you will have to marry me.” continues Joe, each word kissed against the skin of Nicky’s neck.

“Marry? You wanna get married?” asks Nicky, worsening his multiple chin situation to look down into Joe’s glinting eyes.

“Eventually? In our late twenties? When you’ll be a doctor and I’ll be a famous artist? Yes.” he confesses, suddenly almost shy, but with a gaze full of trust and love.

“That’d be nice.” immediately replies Nicky, heart engulfed in the same sentiment he sees in Joe’s perfect eyes: “But alas,” he sighs theatrically, placing the back of his right hand above his forehead, for emphasis.

“‘Alas’ what?” asks Joe, pushing himself up a bit, looking confused.

“I’ve already accepted one marriage proposal today, I’m afraid.” admits Nicky, showing the beaded bracelet on his wrist, his new love token.

“Excuse me?” protests Joe, his disbelieving expression so cute Nicky can’t help but grin and boop him on the nose.

“Yeah, a young suitor asked for my hand in marriage, today. In, let’s see… 11 years, she will be of age and we will tie the knot.” he explains, barely succeeding in holding back a laugh.

Joe sighs exasperatedly, a mischievous grin spreading on his beautiful red lips. He flops down heavily once again, punching the air out of Nicky’s lungs and then he rubs his itchy, bearded chin on his boyfriend’s chest. “That’s alright,” he declares after he’s satisfied with his retaliation methods: “I’ll just have to kidnap and marry you before that, then.” he reasons.

“Oh, you brute.” sighs Nicky, finally placing his hand on Joe’s jaw to guide him up and steal a kiss from his smiling lips.

Joe kisses back, with mirth and then with intensity, stealing his breath and dissipating, in an instant, all of Nicky’s tiredness.

When they part, Joe has his hands in Nicky’s hair and Nicky’s left hand, the clever bastard, now rests on Joe’s ass.

The movie, the lively evening outside, the fatigue of the day, everything is forgotten. Except: “Now that that’s sorted out, amore mio, pass me the gelato.”

.

Notes: Nicky is 18 and Joe is 21 in this, I guess. Sorry for the mistakes, English is (obviously) not my first language. Hope you enjoyed!

[classicbarbie]

Princess Charm School MUN

Okay, I did model UN for 6-ish years?? So I HAVE to go all out on that Princess Charm School Model UN au.

Listen. Delancey would apply for Security Council every conference. She’d want the superpower delegation and Dame Devin would want her to be a superpower delegation. 

Blair would go for either GA3 or the Human Rights Committees, but Miss Privet would put her in SC to make her step out of her comfort zone~ and all. 

I know that Delancey and Blair became friends at the end, but imagine they were still rivals. 

Okay, now imagine Miss Privet making them a double delegation together!! Chaos!!

Hadley is definitely an ECOSOC person, no hate but it’s the most boring committee, I’m sorry. If she’s lucky the agenda might be about sports.

I can see Portia joining the Environmental Commission and absolutely destroying it. In the best way. 

I once went to a conference where the EC apparently debated over the ethics of android babies and I’m sure she’d love that.

Isla’s a wild card. I think she’d unexpectedly enjoy the topics in the Disarmament Commission or GA1, but she switches around. My bet is she prefers being admin or press, working behind the scenes ya know. She just doesn’t like the heavy debate so she might even prefer chairing if she can.

I don’t even have to mention the MUN fashion, all the girls would look STUNNING.

Portia comes in wearing 6-inch heels and takes them off 10 minutes in. She spends the rest of the conference walking around barefoot.

Blair is the resident band-aid bringer for the blisters.

Hadley gets called out for not following the dress code. It’s because she’s wearing sneakers.

Delancy in a suit. That’s it.

The actual debate.

Delancey

Delancey is a power delegate. Doesn’t matter if she’s a superpower delegation or not, she still acts it. 

Mad debate skills. Has made several delegates cry.

She submits the longest amendments for her own resolution, no one knows how she types them out so quickly.

If she’s a P5, you can bet she’s practically exploiting the veto power.

She is feared, admired, and despised all at once.

Just kidding. No one likes a veto power exploiter Delancey, baby.

Says ‘present and voting’ during role call to assert dominance.

I already said this, but she bashes every resolution that isn’t hers.

Definitely ripped someone (Blair’s) resolution at the podium.

Always tries to motion follow-up and right to reply but gets denied by the chair.

Will call a motion to divide the house if she feels threatened.

Blair

Blair turns up over-prepared.

“Yeah, I just wrote a couple clauses, it’s not that good, I didn’t do a lot of research.” *pulls out a 6 page resolution*

She lobbys with the shyer delegates - she’s not here to win Best Delegate.

Probably wins best delegate anyways.

The chair appreciates her constructive arguments and amendments.

Hadley

Hadley starts creating problems on purpose just because she’s bored. Being in ECOSOC will not stop her from declaring ww3. 

The delegates are always calling points of personal privilege due to over-audibility when she starts talking into the mic.

Yes, she’s a speech screamer.

“Is the delegate open to any POIs?” “No.”

The person who shouts “motion to move to the previous question” every 10 minutes.

Loves being DPRK and plays the role to a T.

She would LOVE a crisis event.

Here for the socialising and real-life tinder, not the debate.

Wins the most likely to go to jail award and the most likely to start ww3 award.

Isla

If Isla’s an admin, she’s THAT admin everyone is crushing on.

They specifically call her over to pass notes but the note is for her.

She wins the cutest delegate award. Half the confession box notes are about her.

Answers with “the delegate will reply in note form” and actually does it.

She definitely gives me more student officer kinda vibes though. Like she’d be more interested in the outcome of the conference and the actual topics than the debating.

I’d even go as far as to say Secretary General Isla.

Delancey would be jealous but deep down she knows she loves the debate more.

Portia

Portia...

Where do I even start.

The chair, in tears: “Delegate, please refrain from using personal pronouns.”

You can convince her to become a signatory to your resolution for a bagel.

Has a clause about raising awareness that fills half the page.

Pronounces DR Congo as ‘doctor congo’

Look, she’d have the most absurd solutions but they would all also work?

Forgets her placard at the podium.

Asks POIs that have no relevance to the speech.

Probably thinks that the delegates are actually from the country they’re delegating.

Wins best hair.

[vangoghs-other-ear]

shoe-in- du tout cuit, dans la poche

down pat- maîtrisé.e

eleventh hour- à la dernière minute

in the nick of time- juste à temps

like herding cats- incontrôlable, chaos (comme rassembler les chats au troupeau)

thick as thieves- comme larrons en foire

like two peas in a pod- comme le deux doigts de la main (comme deux pois dans une cosse)

to get on like a house on fire- devenir amis rapidement, mais explosivement (s’entendre comme une maison en feu)

to come in clutch- se présenter en temps despérée pour améliorer les chose (argot américain).

to drop trou- baisser le pantalon

to tamp down- supprimer

the pot calling the kettle black- c’est la poêle qui se moque du chaudron (le chaudron qui traite la bouilloire de noire)

don’t throw stones in glass houses- on doit balayer devant sa porte avant de critiquer (on ne doit pas jeter les pierres dans des maisons de verre).

To get out of someone’s hair- lâcher les baskets (sortir des cheveux de qn)

for crying out loud- une interjection exprimant la frustration

for pete’s sake- une interjection exprimant la frustration (à l’égard de saint pierre)

[oceansmelodysblog]

Le lycée d'Hyrule

Une fiction Zelink d'un univers alternatif.

  Zelda dit au revoir à son professeur de danse classique et sortit sous le soleil du soir. Une brise rafraîchissante souffla, séchant son visage en sueur. Elle défît sa tresse pour laisser la brise souffler dans ses cheveux.

Zelda se détendit intérieurement et marcha le long du trottoir. Les cyclistes la dépassaient à toute vitesse, faisant tournoyer sa robe d'été rouge à pois blancs. Gênée, elle tint l'ourlet de sa robe pour ne pas trop s'exposer, car la robe ne lui arrivait qu’à mi-cuisse. Elle portait un petit chemisier blanc sous sa robe, des chaussures de sport blanches et un petit sac avec ses affaires de danse.

Le vrombissement des voitures et des motos l’assourdissaient, des piétons se hurlaient les uns sur les autres, les chemins étaient bondés. Des pères et des mères avec poussettes tout comme des personnes en fauteuil roulant étaient bousculés sans aucune considération.

Des chiens s’aboyaient dessus, retenus tant bien que mal par leur maître.

C’était trop de chaos pour Zelda: elle décida donc ce jour là de faire un détour, loin des rues principales.

Elle observait avec fascination les façades vieillottes des rues étroites, s’imprégnait du brouhaha coloré des restaurants et des invitations de bienvenue des serveurs qui l’incitaient à entrer. Elle leur sourit poliment et continua vivement son chemin.

Elle aimait flâner dans les rues après sa dure leçon de danse, avant de rentrer chez elle épuisée. En tant qu’adolescente, fille de 15 ans d'un diplomate et d'une avocate, on attendait d'elle la plus grande discipline. C'était parfois difficile, mais elle ne pouvait pas non plus s’en plaindre car cela lui ouvrait de nombreuses portes.

Lorsque Zelda fut enfin arrivée sous le porche de sa demeure, elle poussa un grand soupir. Elle savait que les vacances d'été touchaient à leur fin et qu'avec elles, sa liberté de se consacrer pleinement à ses loisirs.

***

Zelda se déplaçait avec grâce dans les couloirs du Lycée jusqu'à sa classe, vêtue de son chemisier blanc, d’un blazer bleu marine et d'une jupe assortie. Elle fut chaleureusement accueillie par ses camarades de classe; bien qu'elle ait traité tout le monde de la même manière, c’est avec ses meilleures amies Impa et Pru’ha qu’elle se sentait le plus à l'aise. Elles étaient sœurs avec seulement une année de différence, et pourtant elles pouvaient être aussi différentes que le jour et la nuit. Bien que Pru’ha soit plus la plus âgée, c’était une élève populaire et brillante, qui excellait dans le domaine des sciences. Impa, en revanche, était la plus raisonnable des deux, versée dans les langues, la politique, l'Histoire et les Enseignements d'Hylia. Bien que Zelda excellait dans toutes les matières, ses mauvaises notes en Enseignements d’Hylia jetaient systématiquement une ombre moqueuse sur ses bulletins.

Alors que Mipha, Faras et Revali les avaient rejoints, partageant leurs expériences de vacances d'été, les autres étudiants se turent soudainement. Il était encore trop tôt pour qu’il s’agisse de l’arrivée d’un professeur, alors la troupe se retourna avec curiosité.

Un jeune homme de leur âge, aux cheveux blonds ébouriffés attachés en arrière, se tenait devant le tableau noir et salua tout le monde sèchement. Il se tenait là, bombant le torse dans ses vêtements de sport, et se grattant nerveusement l'arrière de la tête.

“T’es perdu, Link ?” demanda Revali d'un ton moqueur.

“Revali, ne sois pas vache... Link, tu vas bien, j’espère.”, intervint Mipha. Une fille qui était toujours douce et polie envers tout le monde.

“Bon sang mais où étais-tu pendant toutes ces vacances ?” s'exclama Impa.

“Je vais bien, merci.”, dit Link, gratifiant Mipha d’un sourire, sans un regard pour Revali. “J'ai aidé à la campagne tout l'été.” Son regard glissa d'Impa à Zelda, qui ne lui prêta pas la moindre attention. “Je ne t'ai pas trop manqué, j’espère.” Il fit un clin d'œil à Pahya, la cousine d'Impa et de Pru’ha, qui rougissait à chaque fois que Link flirtait avec elle.

Il remarqua aussitôt que les autres filles regardaient aussi dans sa direction, chuchotant et gloussant entre elles. On ne pouvait pas les blâmer car Link avait un charisme attrayant, des yeux bleus hypnotiques, une carrure athlétique et surtout quelque chose de mystérieux qui attirait beaucoup de filles.

“Fais pas genre que tu manquerais à quelqu'un, pauvre clodo balayeur de bouses de vaches.”

Link se retourna et foudroya Revali du regard. Une haine pure étincelait dans ses yeux alors qu'il se précipitait sur lui. Mais alors qu'ils se saisissaient l’un et l’autre par le col, Sakasai intervint tandis que Cado et Dorian retenaient respectivement Link et Revali.

“Les vacances sont à peine finies, que déjà vous vous querellez à sang. Et si nous profitions de cette année dans la Paix et l’Harmonie?”, leur dit Sakasai avec douceur. Son expression poétique était capable de faire fondre même les plus glacés des icebergs.

Juste au moment où la situation se désamorçait, la cloche sonna le début de la classe et le professeur, M. Daruk, entra dans la salle.

“Link, Revali. Dès que vos regards se croisent, vous aboyez comme des chiens qui se battent pour leur territoire dans la rue. J'ai ici un nouveau plan de table qui assurera que vous serez assis assez loin l’un de l’autre”.

M. Daruk était le professeur de linguistique et de travail-études. Il avait la peau foncée, des épaules larges, une poitrine musclée et un ventre à bière bien rond. Ses cheveux blancs pointaient dans toutes les directions et sa barbe blanche lui descendait jusqu'au ventre. Il nous préparait toujours, en plus des leçons, à la dure vie après l'école. Ce dont Link était particulièrement reconnaissant, lui qui devait se battre particulièrement durement  dans son quartier.

“Revali, tu seras assis au premier rang à côté de Mipha. Sakasai, s’il te plait, assis-toi à côté de Pahya. Link, tu seras assis à côté de Zelda”. Alors qu'un murmure d'indignation parcourait la classe, le professeur cogna sur son bureau, engendrant un silence comme il n'en avait jamais existé auparavant. “J'exige de la discipline! Asseyez-vous maintenant aux places qui vous ont été attribuées. Vous verrez que vous et vos nouveaux voisins vous complétez les uns les autres. Maintenant, à l'ordre du jour…”

Alors qu’il s’asseyait, il sentit combien il allait être embarrassant d’être à côté de Zelda, vu qu’elle ne pouvait manifestement pas le supporter.

Il se glissa donc le plus loin possible qu’il pût vers le bord de sa chaise pour ne pas l'offenser.

Link saisit à peine ce que raconta le professeur tant il était préoccupé par la proximité de Zelda. Pour garder les idées claires, il tira sa capuche et posa sa tête sur ses bras repliés sur la table. Il soupira. Ça allait être une grosse journée au lycée, se disait-il. 

***

“Salut Frère, bien ou bien? On se fait un basket?”, demanda Sidon qui, malgré qu'il était dans une classe supérieure, était son meilleur ami. C'était un beau gosse et il dépassait Link de plusieurs têtes. Il avait les cheveux roux, comme sa sœur Mipha, mais des yeux brillants d'or. Malgré ses manières imposantes et intimidantes, il était le plus sympathique des Hyliens qu'il connaissait.

“Wesh Frère, ça farte ? Envoie la balle !”

Link enleva son sweat à capuche, exposant son torse musclé. Il voulait se vider la tête et ne plus se rappeler à quel point Zelda était agacée de sa présence. Il n'était même pas sûr de la raison pour laquelle elle l’était, et il supposait qu'elle le regardait de haut avec son apparence dominatrice.

Le simple fait qu'il ait la tête sur la table et qu'il joue avec ses stylos pour tromper l’ennui lui avait fait pousser un soupir d'agacement et taper du pied avec impatience. Elle avait également été la première à rassembler immédiatement son attirail et à disparaître par la porte sans lui jeter un regard.

Alors qu'il tirait des paniers avec ses meilleurs potes, le reste de ses amis les rejoignirent, entre autres Cado et Dorian, l'un maigre et athlétique, l'autre largement bâti. D'autres garçons se rassemblèrent bientôt autour d’eux, des types qu'il connaissait de son quartier ou de ses clubs de sport. Il les salua tous d'une poignée de main et d'une étreinte fraternelle: un poing sur les épaules du frère. C'est ainsi qu'ils se signalaient leur solidarité et leur amitié les uns aux autres.

Parfois, Impa se joignait à eux, puis elle affrontait les garçons et les achevait seule à chaque match. Impa était une fille que Link aimait avoir près de lui parce qu'elle était imbattable. Elle était comme une deuxième sœur pour lui, qu'il respectait et voulait protéger en même temps.

Mais quand Link voulu la chercher il la trouva en grande discussion avec Zelda, Pru’ha et Pahya. Il ne put s’empêcher de sourire. Il se doutait bien de ce dont elles discutaient de manière si animée en ce moment.

“Ouf, Link, mets des vêtements pitié, tes dessous de bras schlinguent à mort.”

L'humeur de Link changea aussi brusquement que si quelqu'un lui avait frappé la tête avec une pelle.

“Ça n'a commencé à puer que quand tu es arrivé, Revali.”

Le jeune Revali n'était pas beaucoup plus grand que Link, il avait les cheveux tressés en une tresse de boxeur tandis que deux mèches teintes en blanc pendaient de ses cheveux tressés. Il avait la forme d’yeux d’un serpent et leur couleur  comme son caractère étaient tout aussi venimeux. Il cherchait toujours à compliquer la vie à Link et à faire étalage de la richesse de ses parents.

“Quoi tu me cherches? Un chien errant comme toi n’a rien à me dire, c'est clair?” déclara Revali d’un ton provocateur. Tout comme Link, il était entouré de ses hommes qui n’attendaient que de pouvoir se sauter à la gorge.

“Tu peux jouer les durs va, on sait bien que c’est que de la gueule. Allez va te perdre avec tes gangsters en carton.”

Une horde de filles de différentes années clamaient les noms de Link et Revali comme s'il s'agissait d'une sorte de compétition.

Link plissa son nez avec dédain et fixa Revali dans les yeux d’un air impétueux. Comme dernier signe d'avertissement.

Sidon remarqua le feu scintillant dans les yeux des deux rivaux et se plaça entre eux, se tenant de manière protectrice devant Link.

“Hey yo bro, et si on réglait ce problème entre vous avec un concours?”.

Les filles qui jusqu’alors acclamaient et encourageaient Revali ou Link criaient désormais en chœur le nom de Sidon, comme si sa présence mettait tout le monde d’accord.

“Une compèt’? Seulement si je choisis la discipline.”, déclara Revali. Link était sur le point d'intervenir mais son meilleur ami le retint.

“Nous allons choisir trois disciplines. Chacun aura droit à une discipline dans laquelle il est particulièrement doué, tandis que la troisième discipline sera neutre. Okay? » demanda Sidon. Link acquiesça. Le reste dépendait de Revali.

"A une condition: nous allons imposer cette compétition à toute l'école. Que tout le monde puisse me voir faire manger ses morts à ce fils de pute.”

“Attention à ce que tu dis, on ne voudrait pas que ton cher petit ego soit encore plus meurtri.” rétorqua Link en se détournant. Pour lui, c'était déjà une évidence qu'il devait affronter son rival et gagner.

Zelda avait assisté à l’altercation entre les deux rivaux pendant qu'Impa et Pru’ha se disputaient pour décider quel thème serait le plus approprié pour une fête à la maison. Elle se pencha vers la silencieuse Pahya qui regardait d’un air affligé la troupe sous haute tension des garçons sur le terrain de basket. Zelda suivit son regard et comprit immédiatement son expression. C'était Link, qui s'était éloigné du groupe et s’asseyait sur un banc en bois en passant ses mains dans ses cheveux.

“Pahya, va le voir. Il sera très heureux de recevoir l'affection émotionnelle d'une jolie fille comme toi. Peut-être qu'il tombera amoureux de toi après tout”, déclara Zelda avec espoir.

Pahya regarda timidement Zelda dans les yeux et son visage vira au rouge vif. Pru’ha et Impa interrompirent leur discussion et écoutèrent avec émerveillement.

“C'est vrai ça, Pahya! Va le pécho!” l’encouregea Pru’ha, sa cousine aînée. Tout le monde savait que Pahya était folle de Link, mais qu'elle était trop timide pour lui parler.

Lorsque Pahya se décida enfin à le rejoindre, Impa faillit l'arrêter, mais Zelda et Pru’ha la retinrent. Impa n'aimait pas ça parce qu'elle connaissait très bien Link et qu'elle savait aussi comment était son cœur. Son regard se posa sur Zelda, qui regardait avec satisfaction Pahya s’éloigner. Elle allait peut-être devoir s'en mêler après tout, et une fête au bord de la piscine serait la meilleure option.

[nebuleuse-mirobolante]

Faire gicler de la peinture sur son corps nu

La cyprine jaillit alors des vulves de nuages 

Nous sommes des animaux barjos  assumant la folie 

Qu'il y a t-il de cohérent dans cette fausse démocratie ?

Anarchie !Anarchie ! 

Anarchie divine !Oxymore et psychose géniale

Loin des banques ,nous sommes les saltimbanques grandioses et bancales 

Redevenons ces bêtes sauvages hystériques,poétiques,cosmiques

Inventons nos îles ,nos concepts ,nos styles et nos démarches 

Quand la politique se croit en marche

Abolition de l'hôpital normo-psychiatrique 

Osons exploser par la création désaxée,flatuler de travers et innover

Que le sang sorte de vos vagins !

Ce soir il pleut des sorciers et des lutins !

Rouge la machine à laver détraquée ! Orange les toilettes pompettes !

Osons être libre !

L'organisation de ce système n'a pas de sens

Écrivons alors notre poème dans une  autre danse 

Libérée du sexe poète 

Je veux des carnavals de voyous-clowns baissant leur pantalons en montrant leur fesses aux patrons pâteux , clones puritains et tout le reste des zombies gris aigris  !

Des incomprises !Des mal baisées prudes mais artistiques aux cerveaux de génies qui se baisent entre elles ou se pénètrent uniquement par la poésie !

Des petites salopes exubérantes mouilées de la prose sexuelle libres,révolutionnaires et assumées 

Ce soir j'ai accrocher un string drogué sur une planète et le ciel à la vanille est devenu punk à chien mystique.

Je deviens alors la folie des résistantes  !Le chaos incarné 

Je ressemble à cet évier bipolaire et multicolore éjaculant des cornemuses communistes sur des policiers réactionnaires là où les estuaires abracadabra pètent des brocantes aux zgegs de koalas 

La flamme et l'explosion des nébuleuses sanglantes 

Sans faux lit !Je dormirai dans un foutoir décharné

L'ordre est un déguisement grotesque. 

Mon désordre est une logique romanesque 

Et je cri dans les villes où la vérité à désertée ! Osez récupérer la liberté que l'on vous à voler !

Nébuleuse 

Tout était calme et placide dans le royaume du Docteur Bierre Bourrer.

Une cuillère avec une tête de dindon léchait les pieds d'un cafard multicolore en forme de montgolfière 

Une grand-mère autruche se mit à se déformer.

Son nez s'était métamorphosé en une girafe faisant du ski et son grand  crâne  en parking psychédélique pour avions de chasses .Ses cheveux avaient pris la forme de toboggans sur lesquels des éléphants jouaient en chantant la digue des cons.

La mamie animale hurlait ! Son pavillon était à totalement l'envers ,les fesses à l'air et les fenêtres de sa maison jouaient du clavecin. 

Les citrons féminines se masturbaient et enfantaient la préhistoire 

C'etait le chaos !Des paysages ,des montagnes psychiatres et des dinosaures névrosés  sortaient de leur vagins.

Les murs étaient devenu des mutli dimensionnels et additionnés ils formaient des sandwichs psycho-hallucinogènes 

Soudain un jeune nombril Violet et hyperactif se mit à hurler au milieu du ciel cubiste et des nuages Oranges qui fumaient des triangles imaginaires .

Toute la dimension déjà tordue dans la distorsion se désorganisait dans le délire qui était devenu inquiétant.

" Mesdames et Monsieur .

Jojo Masturbevite à voler Dieu et il l'a cacher dans son slip  .

Il à construit un immense champ pour marginaux qui l'a appeler le clan mouillé  des rasta-spatio -champis puis il à enlever Dieu pour le planter tout nu avec un piquet dans les fesses sur une loutre en chaleur qui parle allemand et guyanais en boxant des poivrons nazis en cavale cosmique.

Nous devons retrouver Dieu dans le caleçon de Jojo pour faire revenir la paix farfelue et déjantée  

Le problème est que Jojo s'est téléporté dans le gosier d'un égout breton ,communiste et teufeur toxicomane touchant  le RSA qui invoque Satan en sarouel issu du commerce équitable ."

Monsieur Schizo Cha Cha le professeur de salsa pour schizophrène qui s'était convertie à la religion des coquillages cocu décida de retrouver Jojo Masturbevite à l'aide du grand prophète Coqui-cul Le Maniaque ,un coquillage bipolaire de plage qui avait quitter sa femme ,une grosse baleine scientologue pour épouser Dieu lors d'une révélation et après avoir été trompé.

Ces deux chenapans spirituels avaient une idée .

Ils avaient laisser une chaussure moisie et puante pendu à une étoile avec des carottes violettes et hypno-relaxantes de drogués pour attirer Jojo ,le faire sortir de sa cachette et retrouver Dieu dans son slip .

C'est ainsi qu'on attire les gauchistes  drogués et détraqués immoraux .

C'est une espèce assez particulière ,envahissante et nuisible .

Jojo débarqua sur son scooter multicolore. 

Il avait pris l'autoroute anarchiste et feignasse à l'intérieur du corps de l'égout remplie de drogue ,de Maladies sexuellements transmissibles  et de slogans Roule ta paille .

《 Ouaieuh les mecs .

Je veux sniffer ma poudre de carotte trop hardcore et stylé

En tant que vilain saligaud fuck the

 popo -lice  j'ai pri la poudre d'escampette sa reum le mammouth pour chercher la guedro 

Ou plutôt la poudre d'escanquequette dans le pif .

J'ai reconnu le délire et toutes les odeurs schizo-psychédelique 

Ma teub est dar comme un kiki de frelon catcheur. 

Je prend la came et je me casse .Je vous laisse avec votre seum les bitch étriqués du petit pois dépressif  

Y à une putain de teuf dans le nombril de mon pote l'égout, avec des fourchettes hystériques trop sexy aux têtes de grenouilles hyper chaudasses 

Ah ouaieuuuh 

》

Monsieur Schizo Cha Cha Cha et le prophète coquillage tentaient d'attraper Jojo pour lui voler son caleçon et retrouver Dieu qui était à l'intérieur mais le vilain voyou  se mit à faire flatuler ses oreilles à travers une musique puante et délinquante. 

Cela sentait le choux fleur en maison de retraite tellement fort que Jojo réussit à s'échapper en les faisant fuire.

Les créatures décidèrent donc après un long moment de s'aventurer dans le corps de l'égout gauchiasse et décadent en se faisant passer pour des adolescents drogués des Nuls Débouts .

Jojo ne le reconnaissait pas mais s'amusait à se tripoter la péniche en se la coulant douce.

C'etait un paysage spectaculaire avec des bouteilles de bières mutantes et cyclopes au milieu de ce ciel qui était assez nombriliste .

Les créatures n'arrivant pas à attraper Jojo se transformèrent en fourchette -grenouille hyper sexy pour lui faire croire à  une séduction .

Ce dernier fût ainsi piégé et en lui faisant l'amour celles ci se retrouvèrent volontairement dans le caleçon du vilain garnement ,au milieu du champ magico-delirogène.

Dieu  était bel et bien là les fesses à l'air ,avec un piquet planté dans les fesses et sur un étrange animal marin surexcité du drapeau de pirate sexuel .

《 Les gars 

Je dois vous dire quelque chose. 

Jojo Masturbevite m'a puni en me prenant pour un ami des lampadaires puritains et des réactionnaires coincés de l'anus.

En vérité moi qui suis Dieu je suis un clown complètement fou ,incompris et révolutionnaire qui pu la trompette divine .

Tu dois le convaincre que je suis un de ses potes et tu verra ensemble on ira bédave des poils de vulve de chèvre Rouge en dansant nu dans des pots de confitures ectoplasmiques 》

Jojo n'entendait pas ce qui se passait mais sentait des nouveaux personnages courir dans son slip à l'intérieur des arbres et de la verdure .

Il décida alors de déféquer des pavillons mutants aux odeurs pestilentielles  pour anéantir tout le beau petit monde

Heureusement les créatures réussirent à s'enfuir en attrapant l'appareil sexuel de Jojo et en lui tirant brutalement ses petites affaires trempées de feignasse galactique .

Le coquillage prophète et le professeur de salsa pour schizophrènes se mirent à menacer Jojo en lui faisant comprendre que si il ne relâchait pas Dieu en liberté ces derniers feraient exploser ses testicules pour les donner à manger à toutes les créatures de la galaxie. 

Jojo lâcha Dieu hors de son slip et fut immensément estomaqué du fait que Dieu ne le punisse pas.

Il le regarda avec amour, et s'embrassèrent avec chaleur .

Le ciel recommençait à péter des fleurs danseuses de cabaret  avec harmonie chaotique et les cœurs psychédéliques chantaient l'Amour d'un Dieu clown,punk et incompris dont l'illumination utopiste  fait fuire les lois réactionnaires,éteintes et l'obscurantisme. 

Nébuleuse Mirobolante 

La naissance de l'aurore sort du cri violent d'une vulve Rouge imbibée de lumière Jaune.

L'accouchement de l'absolu est Orange et mon âme s'en est inspirée dans le chaos des magmas .

La douceur et l'explosion 

La paix et la haine

L'éternité et le vide qui se mit à vivre ,à hurler et à créer des fresques de mots ,de nébuleuses d'orgasmes  et des couleurs en mutilant les morts sans Vie

Aujourdui l'absolu est Orange et mon cœur est un gros abricot qui danse.

Nébuleuse 

[adnstreamingvf-blog]

ADN streaming film français 2020 Complet VF

ADN Regarder Film Complet - https://bit.ly/3jDnyHK

Outre le fait qu'elle y joue l'un des rôles principaux, Maïwenn, avec ce cinquième long-métrage, apporte une nouvelle pierre au bâtiment commencé il y a longtemps avec le court-métrage I'm an actrice, puis son one-woman-show , au théâtre, chiche Le Pois. Inspirée par sa propre existence, elle tisse le bien et le mal, raconte des chemins difficiles, des cœurs endommagés par le mauvais amour, une résilience possible. Qu'elle envisage de filmer sa famille dans une image crachée (Pardon me), de suivre les brigades de mineurs dans leurs interventions quotidiennes (Polisse) ou de raconter une explosion d'amour destructrice (My King), Maïwenn pose un œil documentaire sur tout ce qu'elle raconte . Ici, sur une intrigue orchestrée avec Mathieu Demy (lui-même en deuil de sa mère Agnès Varda), elle plonge tête baissée dans la réalité, s'y jette avec ses acteurs, travaille sur plusieurs caméras, organise le chaos et, forcer à laisser tourner et improviser , saisit quelque chose d'unique. Une humanité au travail, qui vibre et se déploie entre des accents justes, une colère dérangeante et un rire salvateur.

Agrégée autour du merveilleux débutant incarnant le grand-père (Omar Marwan) et Maïwenn, écrasante comme une arrière petite-fille inconsolable à la colère inextinguible, la troupe d'acteurs est aussi disparate que redoutable. Fanny Ardant bluffe en mère ogresse, tragédienne à la Médée; Caroline Chaniolleau, comédienne de théâtre disparue des radars de cinéma depuis les années 1990, compose une tante brusque et louche; Marine Vacth est une petite soeur rayonnante, qui semble fuir pour mieux se sauver. Et Louis Garrel, ironique, est irrésistiblement drôle, mais lorsqu'il évoque les funérailles de son grand-père, il évoque l'émotion de ses célèbres parents décédés. Parce que c'est la force de l'ADN: on rit autant qu'on devient émotif.

Le réalisateur a une énergie tornade, balayant la réticence du spectateur à rejouer l'histoire éternelle d'une famille dysfonctionnelle (pléonasme?). Car finalement, de Pardon moi à ADN, c'est toujours un peu la même douleur, la même violence qui se joue, mais le règlement de compte ici est magnifié par une mise en scène vivante et espiègle, qui invite des serpents sifflant sur la tête ou offre un trottoir pour refuge à une mère qui vient de prendre la colère de sa fille en face. Surtout, il y a ici, comme dans Mon Roi, l'histoire d'une renaissance, de ce besoin de se réinventer différemment après l'épreuve, de retrouver ses racines et de s'ancrer. Il vaut mieux s'envoler. Gratuit, enfin?

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[sydmorrisonblog]

PERTE D'AUREOLE Eh! quoi! vous ici, mon cher? vous dans un mauvais lieu! vous, le buveur de quintessences! vous le buveur d'ambroisie! en vérité, il y a là de quoi me surprendre. – Mon cher, vous connaissez ma terreur des chevaux et des voitures. Tout à l'heure, comme je traversais le boulevard, en grande hâte, et que je sautillais dans la boue, à travers ce chaos mouvant où la mort arrive au galop de tous les côtés à la fois, mon auréole dans un mouvement brusque a glissé de ma tête dans la fange du macadam. Je n'ai pas eu le courage de la ramasser. J'ai jugé moins désagréable de perdre mes insignes que de me faire rompre les os. Et puis, me suis-je dit, à quelque chose malheur est bon. Je puis maintenant me promener incognito, faire des actions basses et me livrer à la crapule comme les simples mortels. Et me voici tout semblable à vous, comme vous voyez! – Vous devriez au moins faire afficher cette auréole, ou la faire réclamer par le commissaire. – Ma foi! non. Je me trouve bien ici. Vous seul, vous m'avez reconnu. D'aílleurs la dignité m'ennuie. Ensuite je pense avec joie que quelque mauvais poète la ramassera et s'en coifferaimpudemment. Faire un heureux, quelle jouissance! et surtout un heureux qui me fera rire! Pensez à X ou à Z! hein! comme ce sera drôle! Perdita dell’aureola  «Come, voi qui, mio caro? In un bordello voi, il bevitor di quintessenza, voi, il mangiator d'ambrosia! Veramente c'è di che stupire». «Mio caro, sapete quanto temo i cavalli e le carrozze. Poco fa nell’attraversare il Boulevard, in gran fretta, mentre saltellavo nel fango tra quel caos dove la morte giunge al galoppo da tutte le parti tutt’in una volta, la mia aureola è scivolata a causa di un brusco movimento, giù dal capo nel fango. Non ebbi il coraggio di raccattarla, e mi parve meno spiacevole perdere le insegne, che non farmi rompere le ossa. E poi, ho pensato, non tutto il male vien per nuocere. Adesso posso andarmene a zonzo in incognito, commetter bassezze, darmi alla crapula come il semplice mortale. Eccomi qua, proprio simile a voi, come vedete!». «Per lo meno dovreste far mettere un avviso per chi trovi quest’aureola; o andare alla polizia a reclamarla agli oggetti smarriti». «No, in fede mia! Sto bene qui. Mi avete riconosciuto solo voi. D'altronde la dignità mi annoia, e inoltre penso con gioia che qualche poetastro la prenderà su e se la metterà sulla testa impudentemente. Fare la felicità del prossimo, che gioia! E specialmente d’un prossimo che mi farà ridere! Pensate a X …, o a Z …! Eh? Che bellezza!». Charles Baudelaire -Lo Spleen di Parigi

[theajaheira]

2018 fic writing roundup

tagged by @catty-words​ !! thank u darling

i have this lingering suspicion that the 92k mess that is imperfections has a tendency of bumping up my word count, but also i’ve been writing particularly A Lot this year. so. yikes. this’ll be a mess

Total 2018 Word Count: 465,233 (so uh. yikes squared?) Total 2018 Hits: 16,798 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,592; Comment threads: 457; Bookmarks: 186; Subscriptions: 121.

Total 2017 Word Count: 171,640   Total 2017 Hits: 9,156 Other 2017 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 841; Comment threads: 172; Bookmarks: 126; Subscriptions: 40.

Links and Titles to 2018 Works (buckle up kids)

ten questions for new year’s eve (6,669 words) lonely s4 giles meets jenny on new year’s eve. basically fluff laced with some light angst, which i think set the tone for most of my writing this year

forever (4,738 words) some assorted femslash ficlets from tumblr that i immediately forgot about after february. it of course got buried under a deluge of jenny fic but there’s still some cute stuff there! i had a lot of fun in particular writing about bb willow and the beginnings of her attraction to girls

she’s your destiny (9,560 words) AHHHHHH I FORGOT I WROTE THIS. blessings of writing This Much. soulmate au with buffy/willow and giles/jenny where like. none of them are soulmates but they fall crazy in love anyway.

the happy-ending bouquet (3,851 words) set in 2018. giles and jenny have been married for something like 15 years and are still very happy and in love. basically just an endless deluge of fluff

personas (2,729 words) hhhhh i hesitate to count this as a 2018 fic, because i technically posted it in summer 2017 and then deleted it for reasons unknown (even to me). but there aren’t enough fics that explore jenny’s fractured sense of identity and her broken heart and i love my girl so much. so. wrote that.

something real (2,173 words) my valentine’s day fic!! a friend and i share the headcanon that jenny would have finally shoved her way back into giles’s heart if not for the love spell throwing her off, so. wrote a fic where that happened, albeit somewhat angstily.

direct, but not unwelcome (4,478 words) this fic always makes me cringe, a little; the office verse was written largely for faith and tara, and writing giles and jenny in it was a decision i don’t entirely like (mostly bc there really is no narrative place for either of them). but it has a few good lines ig?

putting a ring on it (2,370 words) giles and jenny proposal fic!! a little wobbly in places imo but still so fun to write. those two deserve all the fluff

the second choice soulmates (6,942 words) the inevitable faith/tara sequel to the soulmate au!! i had it planned from the second i started writing the first fic in that series, and i had a lot of fun with it. in which faith and tara have to deal with their soulmates being in love with each other, and end up falling in love themselves.

nightmares and the aftermath (1,205 words) the first fic i wrote in the ripper au! ripper has a nightmare; jenny talks him through it.

the inherent complexity of falling in love (3,519 words) more soulmate au nonsense!! this time with solely giles and jenny!! 

let’s stay together (857 words) i say that this is “a series of vignettes in which ben, ann, and leslie are dating” but really it’s just one. i’ve kept it in bc i really wanna write more than one. ben/leslie/ann is such a blessed ship and there are no fics for it! which is ridiculous! because they really should all be dating!! leslie has two hands y’all

moments of connection in an uncertain world (3,351 words) the olivia/jenny fic that set that amazing ship on its course. set in asoue; jenny’s identity in the narrative is ambiguous bc jenny’s identity in every narrative is ambiguous. mystery bicon

amends (remixed) (2,988 words) i’m like 99 percent sure i spite-wrote this fic after watching amends bc that really seems like something i would do. in which ghost jenny makes sure buffy, angel, and giles all know that she doesn’t blame them for a single thing.

it’s a family affair (11 chapters) jenny, married to giles and mom to two daughters, loses her memory. i meant for this to be an exploration of jenny and giles’s relationship + jenny as a character, but with hindsight i feel like i kinda rushed it. maybe someday i’ll come back and expand this a little?

maybe i’m in love (24 chapters) CRIES. this fic was posted all in one day and got buried under the deluge of fic i wrote this year and i am still so sad that it remains forgotten. even by me. like i forgot it existed till now. but it is the treasure of my heart and i am still not sure what i can possibly do for calendiles day 2019 that will even come close to “slow burn giles/jenny series rewrite in script format.”

dragonslayers (8,048 words) i go back and forth between whether adding a sequel to a sappy-happy-ending fic was actually needed, but i had a lot of fun writing jenny and anya and tara being friends and adopting a dog. those girls deserve so much better.

tech support (1,315 words) jenny works at angel investigations, and giles meets her when he and buffy drive up to la to get a book. unabashed fluff.

family ties (2,294 words) giles introduces jenny to his dad and the aunts. i had giles call himself “rupert” for the entire fic and forgot to explain why i made the choice to do so (and there was a damn good reason!!!) so every time i see this fic....Regret™

i like you (992 words) the product of me realizing “wait, i never wrote a fic about my Very Specific Headcanon that giles and jenny had sex after school hard!!!” and then going ahead and writing that fic. not explicit; lots of giles and jenny being dumb and in love

take me now! (3,460 words) the sister fic to my other jenny/olivia fic! in this one, jenny’s a watcher and olivia’s the sweet librarian who has her all blushy.

the grieving process (9,771 words) this fic! was! such a trip to write! i wanted to write something where giles’s s6 issues were confronted. originally i wrote a jenny’s-alive fic where he goes to her place in la after leaving buffy in tabula rasa, but the mood of that fic was miserable and hostile, so i changed things ever so slightly. and then it became “giles goes to jenny after buffy dies,” and that transitioned into “giles actually finally gets to have an outlet for his emotions,” and then it became a very soft fic that i love very much.

unsolved mysteries (1,704 words) a modern jackaby au! where jenny cavanaugh has trauma-related anxiety and eats pretzels w jackaby in a hall closet! surprisingly soft.

the cleanup crew (2,968 words) post-ted; buffy calls jenny and giles in to help her with ted’s robot body. because that ep was a hot mess and too many things were tied up too fast.

princess charming (2,754 words) written thanks to a throwaway line from the grieving process! about jenny saving fred in pylea! @theforestlesbian​ mentioned in a review that this fic came off as “the adventures of jenny” and that was the best compliment ever.

untraditional, unconditional (4,223 words) ripper au! ripper and jenny get married! i don’t think i will ever write a better calendiles wedding than this one.

gettin’ bi (1,215 words) jenny and giles come out to each other. that’s really it.

intimacy (1,058 words) some root/shaw fluff. g o sh at some point i really should finish poi huh

the battle’s done (and we kind of won) (5,026 words) post-chosen; jenny inexplicably comes back from the dead, and giles works thru the messy aftermath of s7.

chaos, vengeance, love (1,412 words) giles’s exes talk over his grave. (and yes, i do mean jenny and ethan.)

buffy summers, muggle-born (6,075 words) buffy goes to hogwarts! this was meant to set the scene for a loosely connected string of fics, but i could never decide whether i wanted them to be chaptered fics or oneshots. i do have like 3 large chapters saved to my computer, tho :/

a eulogy (920 words) jenny calendar, as told by how she’s remembered.

survivors’ guilt (4,690 words) in which giles dies instead of jenny, and jenny and buffy deal with it poorly. my only problem w this fic is that i really wish i’d explored the messy aftermath of what might have happened if jenny had brought giles back. 2019 project y/y?

regarding honor and honesty in the workplace (43 chapters) CRIES IN JENNY/LILAH. given that i did not shut up about this fucking fic for a good 3 months, i don’t think it needs a summary.

maybe we could have a thing (3,184 words) giles and jenny’s first date!! canon told us they went out beforehand and it really did need to be ficced.

the most important words (2,753 words) passion fix-it! how many of these have i written dfshlsdhdf. anyway, by some lucky stroke, jenny doesn’t die, but she’s understandably kind of a mess. giles tries to help.

that brown-eyed technopagan (2,821 words) ripper au! willow has a HUGE crush on jenny calendar, who in this ‘verse is in her senior year at sunnydale high. lots of high school shenanigans.

seven new and very bad songs about jenny (8,597 words) another ripper au fic, this one about what it takes for ripper to finally give in and kiss the girl.

love of mine (282 words) one of the two fics i have written that involves giles grieving jenny. angst abounds.

the adjustment period (4024 words) i wanted to write about how weak vamp jenny is for her gf, so i returned to the grand romantic gestures ‘verse and explored that. femslash calendiles!!

love, scotch, and late-night parties (2,539 words) the aftermath of eyghon in the ripper au. jenny wants to be smothered in attention from ripper; ripper wants to give jenny the space he thinks she needs. basically the exact opposite of canon with the exact same inability to communicate.

father and son (3,761 words) in which ripper examines his relationship to his dad, and worries about treating his new son the same way. (spoiler alert: he obviously does not.)

imperfections (46 chapters) TECHNICALLY i added a few new chapters in 2018. i stg i’ll at least get closer to finishing it this year.

happily ever after (2,005 words) set after the dire king! jenny and jackaby being dumb and in love and experimenting with “the mechanics of ghost-human relations.”

cardboard robot (2,097 words) ripper au: halloween edition! ripper gets a pumpkin stuck on his head and sings about jenny, who Definitely Doesn’t Like Him What Are You Talking About Shut Up.

tea, with honey (3,295 words) a modern jackaby au, where jenny’s trauma really is trauma with no ghost metaphor. jackaby, darling of my heart, is still just as sympathetic.

very really married (6 chapters) THIS I WILL FINISH IN 2019. FOR REALS. i have too many unpublished chapters on my laptop to NOT finish it. set in s1; giles and jenny get drunk married in las vegas pre-canon. which, of course, adds a whole new level of complexity to both of giles’s new jobs.

coping (2,611 words) i really wanted to write about jenny and eyghon, bc there are like 0 fics that address the absolute mess that canon throws at that woman. so i did. very angsty with no clear happy ending, bc that’s what happens when you write canon compliant fic about jenny calendar.

yours (2,747 words) my first foray into writing phryne and jack! and, if the 4k-and-counting wip is anything to go by, definitely not my last. 2018 brought me a lot of things, but watching mfmm all the way through was definitely one of the best.

family ties (2,640 words) catch me crying about river and the ponds for the rest of my life, probably. centered around river’s graduation from luna university and her relationship with her parents.

decently clothed (1,516 words) lots of dumb calendiles fluff!! based on a paragraph from a btvs novel; jenny and giles go clothes shopping. it’s exactly as cute as it sounds.

making things right (1,060 words) passion fix-it that came to me when i thought “what if jenny survived, but didn’t even care that she’d almost died, bc what really mattered was that she’d fixed things with giles and buffy?? lmao how badly would that fuck giles up, knowing that she placed earning his trust over her own life???” and then i wrote it bc i love pain

bless her soul (6,294 words) s3. jenny comes back wrong. lots of explorations of the guilt that buffy, giles, and angel harbored for jenny’s death, with none of the pain of using jenny solely as a mouthpiece for evil. so like. amends done right.

dear friend (1 chapter, so far) a you’ve got mail calendiles au that i really do intend to work on some more in 2019.

haunted (15,622 words) WHAT a note to end 2018 on. a (mostly) non-supernatural au in which jenny, after an intense & awful trauma, leaves sunnydale and buys a ridiculously inexpensive mansion in england. why was it so cheap? because giles, the ghost who lives there, has been scaring off buyers. naturally, jenny is not easily rattled.

Favorite Fic: it’s hard to choose bc i wrote so many but for now i’ll pick bless her soul. writing the-first-as-jenny and playing up scooby guilt while still getting to bring jenny back for a happy ending??? that was just so much fun.

Hardest Fic: very really married. absolutely. i was in a v weird place while writing that fic, so that certainly didn’t help, but that fic has been giving me Trouble since i started writing it.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2019? always!!

What was the best thing about 2018? friendsssss!!! i’m entering 2019 with a lot of solid friendships, which really wasn’t the case in 2018. 

What was the worst thing about 2018? tbh the answer will always and forever be “my mom” until i am out of this house

Any last thoughts for 2018? how the FUCK did i WRITE more than half of the fics i have posted on ao3 in THIS YEAR ALONE. 55 FICS. i’m REELING.

Goals for 2019

finish the cheesy au g/j multichapters i started

maybe start work on a detective au sequel? i miss that ‘verse

more ripper au fic!!!!!

more jenny/olivia!!!

more jenny centric fic in general like It’s What She Deserves

SOMETHING about jenny and angel. i talk big talk about how much that dynamic fascinates me but i only ever touch on it in fic. it’s never the central focus.

finish the phryne/jack fic i’m working on, and maybe...tentatively...write more?

[itachi-with-a-chicken]

METAMORO PIZZA!AU

AKA THE ONE WHERE FABRIZIO HA UNA PIZZERIA E ERMAL è SUO CLIENTE CAGACAZZO

Fabrizio ha una mini pizzeria in uno di quei quartieri di Roma non dico San Basilio ma una cosa del genere

Ermal è in città da meno di un mese ed è la quinta città che si gira in cinque anni. Pace? si mangia la pace?

Un giorno scopre la pizzeria di Fabrizio e vede che fanno l’impasto con il lievito madre e si gasa un sacco perché viene molto più leggera, se lo sai usare

Fabrizio lo sa usare. ECCOME *wink wink*

hem

Quindi, Ermal si gasa un sacco e inizia col prendere ogni volta un cosa diversa perché una volta che digerisci l’impasto ti si aprono le porte dei condimenti (provato sulla mia pelle)

ma il listino di Fabrizio è molto scarno

a sto punto, è quasi un mese che Ermal va là ed essendo solo Fabrizio a fare sia cucina che cassa vuoi che non abbia attaccato bottone e preso confidenza?

Fabrizio is: amused ma non lo da troppo a vedere

(è timido okay capitelo)

comunque un giorno arriva, si guarda la lista da cima a fondo e poi esclama;

“ma una pizza peperoni e fragole non me la vuoi fare?”

Fabrizio è sicuro di avere le allucinazioni uditive perché non è possibile che gli abbia chiesto una cosa del genere

e invece si

Quindi, con molta calma, Fabrizio gli indica il listino delle pizze sperando che il messaggio passi chiaro

Well

Per quella volta Ermal lascia perdere

Ma ogni volta che torna gli propone cose diverse e assurde

Tipo la pizza con l'uva e il miele

O ananas e pancetta

Banana e curry

Fin quando Fabrizio non si rompe i coglioni

"senti coso, vieni qui, portati gli ingredienti e te la cucini tu"

Ermal non se lo fa dire due volte e un giorno lo fa veramente

E accade la magia, a spese della pizza sadly

Perché si mettono a parlare, no? Mentre la pizza cuoce e Fabri fa le altre per i clienti non cagacazzo

E Ermal ruba un po' di mozzarella e cibo a caso e si rende conto che è quella buonaTM non quella dell'Eurospin

E rimane shock perché così gli ingredienti vengono a costare di più e comunque il suo era un piccolo business cioè una pizzeria 10x10

E Fabrizio gli spiega:

"il fatto è che se ci metti attenzione, amore, nelle cose che fai, quello ti torna. C'ho dei clienti che ho visto crescere, praticamente, sono venuti qua la prima volta che avevano 13 anni, ora ne hanno 24, stanno in giro a fare cose ma passanl sempre a prendersi un pezzo di pizza e fare una chiacchiera. Praticamente sono di famiglia"

Ermal.exe stopped working

Perché per lui che si era rassegnato a non trovare mai un posto sicuro da dire casa e con il suo voler diventare un cantante si trova costretto anche a piegarsi alla corrente e farsi trascinare, no?

L'idea che invece passa Fabrizio è di costanza, pazienza, routine. Parole che per lui avevano quasi perso di significato.

Quello, e il fatto che Fabrizio stesse farcendo la pizza in canotta e retina per capelli, capite che il povero ragazzo ha avuto un po' di problemi

Nel mentre, la pizza si cuoce e Ermal può assaggiare il suo operato e well

Well

Faceva popo schifo al cazzo

E Fabri ride sotto i baffi ma Ermal fa lo stoico e "mmmmmmhhh la pizza più buona del mondo!!!! Alta cucina!!!! Cracco chi"

Ne mangia 3/5 prima che Fabrizio si prenda a pietà e gli dia un po' di diavola per aggiustarsi la bocca

Va beh queste sono le esperienze che legano come il Troll per Hermione Ron e Harry

E a fine serata Ermal gli propone un accordo

"io porto gli ingredienti, cuciniamo la pizza e se è buona la aggiungi nel menù"

Fabrizio, memore delle pessime accoppiate proposte, accetta tranquillo che non avrebbe mai detto di si

Ma Ermal lo frega perché la prima volta si prendeta con pesto e patate e È BUONA

!!!!!

Fabri is shock

Comunque cominciano questa strana collaborazione che risulta in Ermal che mangia a sbafo, con la promessa di Fabrizio che prima o poi gli farà pagare tutti i pezzi che ruba

Credice Fabbrì

E piano piano Ermal comincia a fargli tipo da manager/assistente/manco loro lo sanno

Gli crea anche la pagina instagram e oh boi

Cioè Fabrizio totalmente clueless su cosa succeda sul web i social non sono roba per lui okay

Ma Ermal troppo tardi comprende che nel suo magico piano c'è una falla

Perché quando comincia a fare le stories per pubblicizzare la pizza praticamente fa i video a Fabri che fa le CoseTM da pizzaiolo tipo farla volare ecc

Mette i condimenti la mette in forno tutto normale

Eccetto che è mezzo nudo mentre lo fa eccetto per la canotta (norme della sanità who) e le possenti braccia da impastatore

Fabrizio diventa una piccola instagram sensation

Long story short si ritrovano il doppio della clientela e Ermal si mette a lavorare seriamente (visto che è colpa sua) e non sono lì per la pizza. Well, non solo.

E via di mance esagerate e occhiolini e numeri che, casualmente, finiscono nel cestino.

Fabrizio, che c'ha almeno trent'anni, non è scemo e se la vita ti da limoni te lo limoni FAI UNA LIMONATA

Quindi un sorriso, un'ammiccata e via

Ermal che "eh ma non me non facevi il carino"

"ma te stavi qua un giorno si e l'altro pure, i guadagni di un mese sono solo per te. Loro devo convincerli a tornare"

Ermal is rethinking everything in his life

Però manco lui si lamenta troppo perché saranno pure venuti per il bonazzo, ma sono rimasti per la pizza

Almeno quello

Alcuni chiedono anche le pizze di Ermal!

(Ermal fa sempre gli smile snervanti sugli ordini quando li passa in cucina perché he is an ass like that)

E quindi Fabri non c'ha più lo spazio manco per vivere, le persone si prendono la pizza e si accampano fuori e decide di prendere anche un vero aiuto cuoco

(che potrebbe, o non potrebbe, essere Ultimo)

Ma ora Ermal è costretto a rimanere in cassa e vuoi che non asfalti gente a destra e manca perché vengono a cercare Fabrizio?

"vorrei pagare con il pizzaiolo, il mio ordine è molto...particolare AMMICC AMMICC"

"NICÒ ESCI TE VOGLIONO"

(non che Niccolò non sia bellino ma era più piccolo e sicuro non era Fabrizio quindi capì la delusione della tizia)

Tra una cosa e un'altra arriva Maggio, Fabrizio sta considerando l'idea di comprare tavolini da mettere fuori e Ermal c'ha anche un lavoro fuori da quella pizzeria CAN YOU BELIEVE THAt

Il lavoro, che prima lo teneva impegnato pranzo/pomeriggio a piano bar a suonare in un locale, diventa "stai qua dal pomeriggio alla sera tranne quando non abbiamo qualcuno di più figo di te a suonare"

Che okay, sono più soldi, ma tra una cosa e un'altra alla pizzeria va una volta a settimana

The disrespect

Cioè immaginate dal vedersi ogni santo giorno al vedersi una volta a settimana e pure male perché stanno stanchi

(e non stanno neanche assiene perché lmao chi c'ha il tempo di vivere)

Quindi un giorno Ermal scopre che ha il pomeriggio libero e senza manco pensarci vola alla pizzeria

Ma BAM! SHOCK! CHAOS! DRAMA!

Trova Fabrizio che abbraccia una ragazza

Ermal è campione del mondo di salto alle conclusioni e un po' quello un po' lo scazzo della vita decide di girare i tacchi e andarsene a fanculo

(i cellulari in questa AU non sono molto cagati quindi fate che questi hanno zero contatti a parte quando si vedono)

E per farvi capire quanto FUORISTRADA sta Ermal, Fabrizio sta facendo uscire pazzo Niccolò perché parla a Ermal e Ermal non c'è e lui se ne dimentica e la situazione sarebbe drammatica se non fosse che sono due patate

Quindi niente, Ermal è uno scemo ma fortunello perché Fabrizio lo chiama due giorni dopo e gli fa "senti oggi so che il tuo posto c'ha una serata, e io rimango chiuso, quindi se passi proviamo qualche pizza nuova"

Ermal è !!!!!!!!!!!! Ma irl roba che il sole era di troppo

Anche perché in quei due giorni Ermal si è fatto delle pare che il Tour de France al confronto è un giro in triciclo

Ed era giunto alla conclusione che qualsiasi cosa avesse scambiato per flirt da parte di Fabrizio chiaramente non lo era (e invece si) e che l'altissimo purissimo innocentissimo (SEH) Fabrizio non aveva colpe

(così innocente che metteva il peperoncino nella salsa così che Ermal avesse caldo e si spogliasse occhei)

Ma cerca di fare il vago tipo "mmm si non lo so,,,,ma non hai qualcun'altro con cui passare il tuo giorno libero?"

Quello fu il momento in cui Fabrizio comprese di essersi andato a impicciare con un cretino

"No, se te lo sto dicendo a te e v i d e n t e m e n t e no."

Ermal è abbastanza dritto da non replicare

Arriva la sera alle sei e sebbene sia felice perché erano otto giorni che non si vedevano (but who is counting?) (Both of them.) Era comunque un po' wary perché non è bello innamorarsi e scoprire che l'altra persona non sta al tuo stesso piano

(almeno aveva fatto pace con i suoi sentimenti)

Eeee io mi fermo qui perché il limite è 100 ma non voglio mollarvi in the middle of the action, quindi rebloggo e scrivo il resto sotto okay? Daje che si sistema tutto, a ignoranza come tutta questa AU (vi volevo mettere il link alla seconda parte ma non sono capace COMUNQUE sta nel reblog che comincia con “DICEVAMO”)

[asleepinawell]

Chapter 18: Touch

Rating: E

Fandom: Person of Interest

Relationship: Root/Sameen Shaw

Chapters: 18/18 for now i guess

yeah i dunno i just felt like writing this