#polyfidelity

[jev-urisk]

Things to write your thrupple/ot3 doing, from someone who falls asleep in the middle every night

We love playing cozy couch co-ops like stardew, Minecraft, etc

Places like the zoo, aquarium, museums, etc. They're big and there are enough people there that the three of us holding hands isn't remarked upon

Buying flowers/treats for the person who stayed home from grocery shopping, or the person who had a bad day 🌸

"The two of us can get taco bell but you have to promise not to tell X cuz they'll get food jealous." "I swear on my life."

Looots of parallel activities. I.e. One person playing video games, one drawing, one reading or watching TV.

My partners not helping me with something bc they'd rather oggle me 😐

Partners leading me around a grocery store like a toddler cuz I got the tism and am v overstimulated in stores. (Might be too specific lol).

A constant game of chicken where the 1st person to stand up when we're lounging refills all our waters.

Introvert partner asks to 'tag out'

If I, say, physically play with a partner and run away for them to chase, my second partner stands by and does nothing or helps catch me 😑

One person gets sick followed by all three of us being sick (currently happening, my home is a plague-ground)

Might do another one later. What activities does your theupple/ot3 do?

[polyamorouscultureis]

Hey, is there a special name or anything for when you are into the idea of a poly relationship but not an open one? Or wanting to be in a relationship where everyone is attracted to each other instead of having just some random people who also like your partners?

Kind of like a traditional monogamous relationship where you’re committed to each other for life but with three or four ppl instead of two?

Because I would love that. I don’t think I would be comfortable with anyone in my polycule dating anyone else unless we’re all dating them, and only after serious talk and deliberation from all of us.

Sounds like you're talking about polyfidelity!

[cuthulain-blog]

Imagine you could have a bestie to make out with all day, and a big strong man to hold you all night, all without cheating or feeling insecure

[ti-bae-rius]

People who are polyam/polyfidelitous:

I am researching for a book and would love to know

- what do you wish you saw more of in media?

- any tropes you hate?

- best examples of closed polyamory/polyfidelity in your opinion?

Thanks in advance! Non-poly people are more than welcome to comment, but I’ll obviously give a bit more weight to own voices responses x

[nloveofme2boo]

[jev-urisk]

Writing thrupples with a 'hinge', from someone who falls asleep in the middle every night.

A hinge thrupple is where two people are dating the same person, but not one another. So, not a triangle.

I don't know any thrupples with a childish Jacob-Edward rivalry over the 3rd person (annoying, overplayed)

I don't know any always lovey-dovey thrupples where the two suitors don't do anything outside constantly showering their 3rd with affection (honestly a bit creepy to me)

I'm bi/pan and nonbinary/fluid. My partners are a big burly cis dude and a tall snarky androgynous lesbian, they're not at all attracted to one another. Sexuality/gender plays a big part in dynamics and what I'm called (one calls me Wife and the other calls me Boyfriend).

Many poly peeps set out with intention to have multiple partners, my situation happened accidentally with some help from my autism. Basically I fell in love with two people like the movies but instead of drama I had an honest conversation and they both agreed to try it out. 🤷

I call both my partners 'babe' which in hindsight maybe I should've used 'hun' for one of them, but it's also so cute when I say babe and have two people turn to me. ❤️ They do have some unique, less appropriate pet names tho.

So so so much communication is needed to make sure you're on the same page as your partners. Google calendar helps, as do chore charts. I have 2 date nights a week, one for each partner. Holiday plans are discussed months ahead of time.

Relationships develop at different speeds! One partner may be ready for a milestone a month in, a different partner may be ready for the same milestone in 4 years.

So many perks! Splitting bills, splitting chores, coordinating when emergencies happen, and VOTING! With 3, the discourse for deciding anything from what to eat to what color to paint a room is SO much quicker.

I think the biggest difficulty was getting over my fear that I was doing something wrong, that I was selfishly drawing 2 people into something that would end in heartbreak. I was also afraid my partners wouldn't get along. 😵‍💫

Minor difficulties include deciding who to take for events that are +1 only, remembering who we've come out to, and getting crushed in the middle of the night when both partners roll towards the center of the bed where I sleep. 🪦

I can only be legally married to 1 partner where I live, but my other partner hates the idea of doing joint taxes so 😂 when we have a wedding one day, we're going to get legal permissions to, say, visit me in the hospital when I'm dying and call it good.

Yes, I can have another wedding and it will be just as beautiful and symbolic as the one that included legal paperwork.

Only two people can be on a marriage certificate, but three people can be on a mortgage! We've jointly owned a house for almost a year and a half and it's been so much work but so nice to have our privacy.

My partners get jealous of one another, that's normal. They know to communicate that feeling with me so I can give them some 1 on 1 time or special attention.

If me and one of my partners are struggling in our relationship, I DONT vent to my other partner and just give a basic 'I'm working through something with X right now'. I know too many polycules that have become a drama mosh-pit. 😓

My partners can be friends, or lovers, or simple acquaintances but THEY decide that and I don't push them to do anything except communicate when needed. My partners are introverts and it's taken years for them to build up their platonic relationship lol

Yes, I do occasionally get double-teamed in sexy ways (less than you'd think). 90% of the double-teaming I get is both of them calling me short or agreeing that I'm cute when I'm angy about trivial things, though. 😾

My partners now consider each other metamores, friends, and team-mates. My lesbian partner calls my male partner their 'husband in-law' sometimes, particularly when they want something from him.

Sometimes my partners bicker and I think it's cute bc it means they've become very comfortable with each other. If they have an actual issue I just encourage them to talk about it/I don't try to fix it for them.

We generally live a comfy, laid-back life and do all the mundane things you'd expect of mid-twenties to early-thirties folk- raising two dogs, fixing the sink, caving and ordering taco bell, forgetting to make that appointment, griping about the economy, bringing home plants, watching birds fight over the bird feeder, and sleeping in on the weekends. We just do it with 3. ☘️

Extra note: Polygamy is a term used in religious and male-centric plural partner situations. We use polyamory, polyfidelity, harem (jokingly), and thrupple to describe ourselves. Maybe some use polygamy and like it, but where we live (Utah) the term is generally reserved for fundentalist mormons.

There's probably a lot more to say, so maybe this is just a part 1. Feel free to ask me questions or comment with your own hinge experience (or tell me about your thrupple ocs)!

[nloveofme2boo]

[solomonslusts]

30s are used to transmute 20s’ knowledge into and experience into wisdom right?

I can’t let life keep passin me by.

Shoot ya shot in 2025, be bold what you want and go get it

[ashofalltime]

kissing boys is my passion

[patchesofuniverse]

I found this in my drafts - I wrote it after I finished Leverage: Redemption S1 and then most of the original series. Posting it now with the caveat that I never got around to watching the rest of Leverage: Redemption so I do not know what happened from there.

----------

It still amazes me that people who've lived through

- Sherlock, where the creators outright deny that their two male leads could ever get together, while throwing out constant M/M fanservice.

- FIFTEEN seasons of Supernatural, where women can't survive for very long because they'd threaten the fan-preferred M/M pairings, and one of the actors for the pairing straight up denies that his character could even be gay, shot down questions about it, and finally just "didn't want to put him in a box" following an outcry near the very end of the series.

- She-who-shall-not-be-named, who never so much as hinted that any character might not be straight, but then declared one gay when the series was basically done.

- and however many more queerbaiting shows

can look at Leverage and think the creators are trying to pull one over on us.

- "That means I would be thinking about you and Parker, which I never do!" in the least convincing tone, after lamenting the suave thief Parker is out with that night.

- Watching them kiss and nodding

- "'til my dying day" and "but you never, never need anything" "Yeah, I did" looks over at Parker and Hardison for a moment before looking back "And thanks to you, I don’t have to search anymore."

- Confirmation from the creator that the OT3 is canon.

- "Even numbers only baby" and "Age of the geek, babe"

- The hints in the show (Hardison being aware of how Eliot wakes up, "we built vents in the house", etc) and then confirmation that the three of them live together.

- The necklaces

- Hardison talks to Eliot AND Parker before making the decision to step away from the team. Parker's scene is more dramatic, sure - but Hardison checks in with Eliot too, and Eliot confirms his support before Parker drags Hardison off for their chat.

They haven't given us a kiss or the exact words, sure. Polyamory still isn't widely accepted in the US - it's very possible that they can't give us a big flashy display on screen because of executive meddling, or just that they have to consider ratings.

But what they've given us is in line with the characters they've created. They also never make it into a joke, aside from Hardison's "We're together" bit in The 12 Steps Job (which was season one). They don't make flashy fanservice out of scenes with Hardison and Eliot together, or with the three of them.

The Leverage PTB haven't queerbaited us with the OT3. They queercoded them. And then confirmed that they intended the things we saw on screen.

Part of me wonders if the idea that the OT3 are queerbait is the fact that Eliot's relationship with Hardison and Parker is more subdued than their relationship with each other. I think there may be folks who want to see them as a perfect, exclusive triangle where they all share the exact same relationship style. But that's not how polyamorous relationships have to work - and indeed, it's not how most of them work. Parker and Eliot have always had a different kind of relationship than Parker and Hardison. It's not unreasonable to think that, even in a committed romantic threesome, the three sides of the triangle would represent different types of relationships.

[lckydog]

Are you and your girlfriend poly? Super curious. You guys are super cute together by the way

we’re babies and still learning but we’re open to enm!! :D also tysm <333

[nloveofme2boo]

❤️ sounds good 😊

[cobra-creampuff]

Assuming a generally polyfidelitous triad (if you assume that), who are each of their hall passes? If you do not assume that, well same basic question who else might each of them be most likely to hook up with in some fashion?

They don't have hall passes that's silly. But they do all joke that if Jamie ever did have a hall pass it would be Roy (his biggest celebrity crush) anyway so there's not exactly any point.

[cuthulain-blog]

Breeding both of you at the same time so I can see you kiss each other's pregnant bellies

[dontpetmeibite]

You know what? I bet you could get Unicron to kinda knock his shit off.

Imagine seducing a planet.

Soundwave would veto that even if Unicron weren't sex-repulsed and asexual. Which I strongly believe he is, although I haven't met many asexual felines.

The war is over; I'm not doing black ops/psyops/honey traps anymore. And that means my conjunx and I have vetos over partners who might not be willing to accept that we're sparkbound to one another and will always put each other and our marriage first.

(I don't see Unicron taking it well when I tell him I don't merge sparks with anyone but Soundwave. I didn't even do that with Megatron.)

I also don't insert parts of myself that I'd like to keep using into singularities, and I certainly wouldn't put a singularity inside of my own body, because someone I knew tried that and it doesn't sound like it's worth the potential risk, let alone the aggravation of having a singularity inside of you. Caminus would be fun, though, probably.

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Obsessing over the detail in my fic Isn't it Lovely? that I have Helen, James, John, Nikola, and Ranna all wear the same ring, which is basically just simple a gold band that has five spirals to represent all five of them.