#poor checo lol

[aaltilis]

*Redbull asks Checo to do PR stuff with Max*

Checo: Will Daniel be there?

RB team: No, just you and Max.

Checo: Will Charles be there?

RB team: Leclerc? No, why would he?

Checo: Yeah, just making sure you know, bad experiences.

[tinypeaceconnoisseur]

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 8 - May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

Guys, Max was never going to be her dad (that’s gonna be reserved for Christian lol). Everyone on the grid will be a brother figure, unless stated otherwise – like Fernando is leaning towards the wise grandpa rule and Lewis will be the cool dad (I have a funny story line to go with this idea). All that to say, Max and Kelly will look after her when she needs it most. I also switched the titles. On with the show, and don’t forget to comment if you want to be added to the tag list and or if it’s somehow not tagging you! Much love <3  

Well, to Max’s dismay and according to google, you cannot adopt your 20 year old teammate that he had met hours earlier.. He had called Kelly early Thursday morning to whine. The more sensible part of his brain also knew that Christian wouldn’t let that happen either. And Kelly had to quickly remind him that he could still watch out for her. 

Max seemed to finally agree at the thought of being one of the protective adults in her life. He knew that you had your manager, who you seemed to trust. But, that didn’t help much when you spoke of how lonely you were. He was going to make it his mission to get you to move to Monaco, where he could keep an eye on you. 

“Maybe Christian could adopt her,” he muttered, staring angrily at his coffee. What that cup did to offend him, he didn’t know. But what he did know, was that he’d see you again later that night. Another festival for him to attend to. He only wished that Formula 1 went back to racing, and not putting on shows that had a strict attendance policy. 

At least you would be there. There was a change in the schedule so that you could be with him, Checo, Daniel, and Yuki on whatever thing they were being put on for the night. The buzzing of his phone ended his staring contest with his cup. 

It was a text from you. 

Little Racer : 

max, i need your help 

what are you wearing tonight??? 

i have an idea, and I think it’s stupid but i want to do it 

Big Racer : 

If it’s you, I don’t think it’ll be stupid. 

Probably what I always wear. Jeans and whatever Red Bull top they give me. 

Little Racer : 

that’s so grandpa core of you maxie 

and what is this all proper grammar for texting lollll 

you are not beating the allegations you millennial 

Max’s brows furrowed. He was not a grandpa or a millennial. He just liked to use the normal setting on his phone with proper capitalization and end marks. He would just have to ask Charles or Lando to see if they agreed with you. They wouldn’t though…would they? Your next message had him actually dying. 

Little Racer : 

do you think that Christian will be mad if i come dressed like elvis?

he said i could but i don’t know… 

Big Racer : 

You wouldn’t dare. 

Little Racer : 

oh boy ladies and gents, he doesn’t know 

*looks into the camera like an episode on the office* 

Big Racer : 

Did you seriously type all of that? 

Don’t answer. 

20 bucks says you won’t. 

The three little dots danced on his screen as he waited for you to respond. 

Little Racer : 

just you wait maxie, just you wait 

You didn’t text him anything after that. Max could only call Christian to understand what just happened. He picked up after three rings. 

“Hello, Max.” 

“Hi Christian. First off, happy birthday.” 

“Thank you son. But I know you didn’t just call me to wish me a happy birthday. You could have told me that later tonight.” In the background, it sounded like a coffee machine was running. Max hoped he didn’t wake him up. 

“Well, Y/n just texted me about wearing, uh.” Max didn’t want to say it out loud, because now it sounded stupid. 

“An Elvis costume? Max, the kid called me last night to ask. Said she didn’t want to ruin an image for us if she showed up like that. But I told her that it would be fantastic idea. Poor kid sounded scared.” 

Max let out a low hum. He didn’t like the sound of that. You were in no position to worry about such a thing. If anyone was to ruin Red Bull’s image, it would be him. He had no filter and Christian often had to tell him to reign in his thoughts. 

Max spoke, “I think I’m going to see about her moving to Monaco. She mentioned she has a flat in Nice, but that’s far away from Milton Keynes, and not close enough to anyone. Christian, she has no one.” 

It took a while for Christian to reply. Max could just imagine the older man running his hand along his forehead. It was hard to think of someone so young to be so alone. 

“Yeah, I think that would be best for her. I’ll make sure she can afford it. Hell, it could even be a property that we buy just for her to stay in when we have breaks.” 

Max listened and nodded his head along. Now it would only be to convince you to move. But suddenly, he remembered his previous conversation with you. He smacked his hand on his head. 

“Is everything alright Max?” the Brit on the phone questioned. 

“I just lost 20 bucks.” 

You however, had no idea that this conversation was happening. All you knew was that you had the go ahead from Christian to wear your beloved Elvis costume. Would you make a fool of yourself? Maybe. 

But who cares. It’s Vegas. To your chagrin, Vito had told you that there would be no walk out, but there would be dramatic paddock entrances. He still promised that you would get your song. That’s all that mattered to you. 

While you waited for the night to begin, you roamed the hotel. Because you were bored, you actually did a lot. 

You started off with breakfast. You were sad that they didn’t have the machines that made Texas-shaped waffles, because that was only in Texas, but the pancakes would do. And because you’re trainer would kill you for not eating well, you took it upon yourself to have a yogurt with some fruit as a side. 

After letting the food settle, you went to the gym for that daily grind. It had been a while since you had been able to work out, but you needed to get back on track. You would be racing tomorrow and you needed to be at your best. You lifted some weights first, starting with the smaller ones as warm ups before you got to the bigger ones. The stretch bands were very useful as you squatted the weights. 

After you were done, you hopped on the treadmill. By using the lower speeds, you were able to practice your runway walk, as if you would ever be a model. But the speeds increased and you found yourself in a full sprint by the end of the run. Five miles wasn’t bad, and you knew you could have gone farther, but you wanted to take a quick dip in the pool before getting ready. 

The water was a nice cool down for your overheated skin. Running was not your first choice of exercise. You’d rather run out of money, than run in real life. It didn’t make sense, but it did. The chlorine in the water was making your hair gross, so you decided to get out so that you could take a shower. 

Like the kid you were, you had your outfit laid out the night before, as if you were going on a fieldtrip. 

You allowed to take your time in the shower. It wasn’t every day that you made your F1 debut. That had your bones chilled. Your Formula 1 debut. You. Putting your head under the stream, you rinsed out the hair mask that you put on. There would be no nervousness. You were born for this. 

The thought of Max’s texts earlier made you giggle. You were glad that he was so welcoming. You would be much more nervous if you had met the infamous Mad Max. But this was more cat-dad Max. Kind Max. 

You only hope that you won’t screw things up. 

You turned on your playlist as you started to actually get ready. You ordered room service so that you didn’t have to go somewhere to eat. The food was amazing, well, as amazing as hotel food could get. You curled your hair as the remnants of your skin care routine dried. You mumbled the words to a song as you stuck a French fry in your mouth.

Once your moisturizer and various oils and toners dried, you started on your more pronounced makeup look. You knew you were going to be photographed throughout the night, and you needed to look good. Looking at the window, you noticed that the sun was setting. That meant that it was time for you to get dressed, and Vito would be there to pick you up shortly. 

Your outfit consisted of a sparkly white crop top and some white pants. A red scarf topped the outfit off. 

You would be arriving right behind Max and in front of Checo. You were excited to see the two men again. Moreso, you were excited to earn 20 bucks. With sunglasses on your nose, you were ready to hit the Sin City. 

Vito could hardly contain his laughter when you got in the car. 

You raised an eyebrow, “What?” 

He shook his head as to somehow rid himself of his laughter. “Nothing kid.” 

“Well Christian said I could wear it. I’ll blend right in. And besides, I’m almost immediately changing into my race suit.” 

He nodded his head at your reasoning. You had pulled off crazier things before, so he didn’t know why he was surprised. Maybe it was because he thought that you might not want to in F1. But, on the inside he was happy that you weren’t losing your child-like nature. He never wanted to see that seeming innocence to leave. He knew that you weren’t totally innocent, but he never wanted to see you hurt to an extent that you quit being happy. That was his favorite thing about you. You seemed to care about what others thought of you, but you knew how to make yourself happy. And if wearing an Elvis costume to the paddock would make you happy, then he would protect your decision. 

You could see the flashing lights even before you got out of the car. American paparazzi were on another level. You knew that Red Bull were one of the last ones to show up, and that freaked you out. Almost every single driver was already on the other side of gate. Your nerves settled when you saw Max get out, and you wanted to follow him. But, you realized that this was what you were waiting for. 

The familiar sounds of 33 Max Verstappen (the original one) could be heard through the car doors. Max’s face morphed into one of almost disgust. You let out a giant laugh and rolled down your window before you knew what you were doing. 

“Max, I love the music. Very Mad Max-esque.” 

He quickly flipped you a loving middle finger as he scanned his card to be let into the paddock. Multiple Elvis impersonators gathered around him for a picture. You hadn’t noticed, however, that the moment you rolled your window down, all of the cameras and photographers were now pointed at you. 

You buzzed with energy when you heard Life is a Highway start to fill the air. 

On the other side of the paddock, Max had stopped to talk to Lando, Oscar, Carlos, and Charles. He also was waiting for you so that you could walk with him to the Red Bull hospitality. He glanced over to see if you were out of the car at least. 

“Nice entrance mate,” Lando clapped him on the shoulder. He rolled his eyes. He’s sure that you roped Christian in to play the song. 

“Well what did they play for you?” 

Lando deflated and muttered, “Let’s go Lando.” Carlos and Charles, along with Max, laughed at his demise. 

Charles suddenly looked over Max’s shoulder. At that moment, Carlos spoke up. 

“I didn’t know Checo was a Cars fan.” The drums and guitar seemed to be turned up to the highest setting. What. An. Entrance. 

Max had a glimmer in his eyes, “He’s not.” 

And suddenly, there you were. In your Elvis costume. And you were loving it. You waved at all the people around you, quickly becoming a crowd favorite. 

From his right, Charles hums and Lando’s jaw is dropped. 

“That’s the new rookie, correct?” Suddenly, George was with them, along with Alex. 

Max only chuckled. “Yep.” He popped the “p.” 

Charles spoke up, “She’s nice. I met her at Arthur’s birthday party, but didn’t speak to her much.” 

“You all will love her. Trust me,” Max said, eyes widened as you got crowded with the other Elvises. You smile could outshine a thousand suns. 

Your eyes quickly met his and you gave him a giant wave. He beckoned you to come over. You flashed a nervous look before it melted away, replaced with bravery. If there was a time to meet some of the grid, you really hadn’t wanted to be dressed as Elvis. 

Your steps were quick and you made it over in no time. Now, most drivers are tall, but look short next to George, being the giraffe that he is. However, you were another thing. 

You’d definitely be taller than Yuki by a couple of inches. But you stood closer to five-foot-six (167.64 cm.), almost 5 inches shorter than Max, and four inches shorter than the rest. 

You gave a shy wave as you spoke, “Hi, I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.” You suddenly remembered something. You turned to Max and held out your hand. 

The boys’ eyes widened as Max fished out his wallet and placed a bill in your outstretched hand. 

“Pleasure doing business with you sir.” You mocked a salute. 

Lando tsk-ed, “What did our Max loose a bet on?” 

“He said I wouldn’t come dressed like this. Little did he know, I’ve had this in my closet for years.” Lando couldn’t help but laugh at your revelation, and neither could Carlos and Charles. 

“Yeah, kid, you should have told me that Christian already gave you the go ahead.” 

“And where’s the fun in that?” You had a shit-eating smirk on your face. Lando was the first one to speak up. 

“How old are you? Max over here keeps calling you kid.” 

“I’m twenty.” 

It was an amazing recreation of that one tik-tok trend. I’m twenty, insert looks of disgust, uhg. Your heart dropped at their reactions. 

It was Carlos who surprised you. He quickly patted your head, “Aw, just a baby.” 

You looked at him in awestruck. You leaned over to Max and all but whispered, “Max?” 

“Yes kid?” he said in full voice. 

“He’s older than you right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Can I do the thing?” Max looked Carlos up and down before smiling. 

“Go right ahead.” The smile that you had was wiped off your face. You squared your shoulders and held out your hand. Carlos took it with a confused look. You gave him a firm handshake. 

“Thank you Mr. Sainz.” You swear he did a full body cringe. He was about to say something, but Christian had waved the two of you over, yelling something about time to get ready. 

You flashed a smile at the small group, “It was nice meeting you!” You all but bounced away as Max calmly walked by your side. 

“Did she just?” Lando looked to Carlos, who was frozen in his spot. He looked like someone had just told him that his car had blown up on the way here. 

He looked at his hands. “Mr.,” he gulped, “Sainz?” 

Oscar finally piped up. “Well, you are old.” Carlos looked close to a breakdown. 

Charles put a hand on his shoulder as he watched you and Max walk on the ramp. Max’s face was now stone-cold, yet yours still radiated so much warmth. “Come on mate. We got to go.” 

As they walked away, Carlos questioned, “I’m not old, am I?’ Charles could not, would not, should not, give him an answer. 

Lando and Oscar just looked at each other and then back at the disappearing duos. Laughter filled the air as they also began to walk to their respective hospitalities.

As you and Max got closer to the garage, you got a little quieter. 

“I don’t think they liked me very much. I knew the costume would be a bad idea.” The look of dejection was all over your face. Max looked over at you and huffed. 

“Kid, they just don’t know you yet. They’re also stressed about this race. No driver liked to drive on a track that was built in a month.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Kid, I’m always right.” You hit his shoulder. 

Christian was quick to get you, Checo, and Max all together for a couple of pictures. Since it was Christian’s birthday, there was cake and everything for a small celebration. After, the three of you were told to get into the racing suits for the opening celebration. 

You were with Mitch while you did so. 

“You’re telling me. That Kurt Cobain is going to perform. And I’m going to miss it! With John Legend!” Your eyes were wide as you zipped the suit up. 

“For the last time kid, you can meet them after.” You pouted as you tied your shoes. 

“Fine. But let me say, this is very Hunger Games of them. So Americanesque.” Mitch just let you talk. 

After you were ready, minus the helmet and all that, Mitch led you to the glass box. You turned to look at her. 

“Promise me that you’re not going to be dragged away to your death. This is so Katniss Everdeen coded and I cannot lose you like she lost Cinna.” Mitch was going to tell you off for worrying too much, but she could see through your eyes that you were trying to actually tell her that you were scared of the whole thing. No wonder you were rambling, you were just nervous. 

Mitch brought you into a hug and squeezed. You practically melted as you squeezed her back. Over your shoulder, Max was looking at the whole ordeal. He’ll give you a hug right before they went up. He knew how scary this world was. 

Mitch was given the signal that everything was about to start. You climbed into the box and some official closed the door. 

Mitch looked up at you, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” Your jaw dropped in appall as you were slowly being lifted. So she did know the movie! 

Max put a comforting hand on your shoulder as your face was suddenly hit with a breeze. All around you, people were cheering and lights were flashing. You suddenly wished you had brought your sunglasses with you. 

Max scoffed as he raised his hand to wave. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“This isn’t racing. We’re standing here, being observed, like a bunch of clowns.” 

“At least this won’t last long. We’ll be in the car soon Max.” You were right. If it meant anything, he would be back in the car soon, in his element. 

A beep let you three know that the machine would be going down in the next few moments. When the machine jolted down, you quickly stood up straight, hand behind your back, and put three fingers to your mouth. Your lips kissed your fingertips before you held the three fingers up. 

It was still loud as you did it, but the crowd died down as they watched you and mirrored your display. You watched in awe at the raised hands. 

The three of you lost sight of the crowds as the box was now back where it started. Max looked at you in bewilderment. 

“What was that?” 

You let out a large gasp. “You’ve never seen the Hunger Games?” You must have been loud because someone else gasped as well. Looking over, you were met with the sight of blond hair and striking blue eyes. 

“Max, you’ve never seen the Hunger Games?” Logan stomped over. 

“Dude I know. So not girl boss of him.” Max looked at the two of you in confusion. Girl? Boss? 

You and Logan were quickly swept into a conversation about American tendencies while Max just stood in between the both of you, looking like he’s in the middle of a midlife crisis. You and Logan were only pulled away when you needed to get into the car for free practice. 

As you left, you turned around and faced Logan, giving him a look of faux sympathy. “May the odds be ever in your favor.” 

“At least you didn’t volunteer,” Logan laughed as he turned away. 

 Max was still in the middle of his midlife crisis when Christian came to tell everyone that it was time to head to the garage. 

You felt your heart rate picking up as you got closer to the garage. You took a deep breath and exhaled. 

It was show time. 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @treehouse-mouse @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959

[secretdonderwolk]

you inspired me to watch the stroopwafel video again and crying at the random bystander saying "oh dear" when daniel leans down to eat it out of max's hand. it's like that first time? meme lol

the whiplash that poor rando must've felt watching max go from go girl give us nothing during that little quiz with checo to immediately shifting into tradwife mode as soon as daniel walked in. working that apron for all it was worth, doing his little dutch lisp like 'i made them ethpecially for you' (lying)........ harrowing

[thetwelfthcrow]

I watched the race replay and everything around it at lunch time because I'm in Belgium and didn't bother to get up at seven. (Lol)

Max winning, sure, but Lando dnf and Lewis losing so much time because he was unlucky (but he finished above George, because of Max, we should acknowledge) leaves me still hating this weekend. Although I laughed at Max's mood shift at the end. But ngl, I liked the juiciness. On media day on the couch, someone asked Sharl what an ideal teammate looks like and he turned and said "hihihi hello Lewis hihi", I mean combined with the Sainz and Checo clips I really wonder what the fuck was in the air at that race. Not to mention and definitely no wonder that Max put a ring on it lol.

Abu Dhabi has to give us something now, but if not, maybe the FIA ceremony? Unless Lewis manages not to attend again. The thought of seeing them together outside of their racing suits (speaking of which, what the fuck was it that Max and Checo were wearing?) excites me so much!

wat ongelooflijk lui van je

'max winning, sure' ??? no babe he fought for that. he was p1 by turn 1 but then he fell back due to the penalty. he worked his way Through! and yeah lando's dnf had me severly worried and sad :/ lewis losing soo much time bc he was unlucky and bc merc hates him also infuriates me. lewis finishing above george due to george's poor racing judgement in regards to max is poetic cinema to me. this is max's teamwork to lewis fr.

max's mood shift from i hate vegas let me out of here to vivaa las vegas my absolute bestie! is incredible

something gay was in the air certainly! lewis had Things to him. he was whoring his way through and everyone was either a victim of heatstroke or silliness. max was the most sane one and put that ring on him indeed !! slay

abu dhabi. the final race. finally. fia ceremony too. hope to see the boys bein gay n hot together! i am excited as well! thanks for stoppin by babe!

(the vegas-elvis suits were...a choice. red bull has done better silly suits than these but ok i like that they did something).

[f0point5]

I honestly think Checo should have another baby so he has a reason to take a year out or retire without it seeming as embarrassing for him (hopefully the baby is with his wife, but I guess there’s no guarantees with him).

Since his struggles against Ocon in Force India and being a paid for driver his career has given me so much second hand embarrassment, and it’s clear he just isn’t competitive enough to battle with Max which means Max wins every race and the people watching are bored and frustrated with him.

Max needs a challenge and Checo is too pathetic to give him one, replace him with Sainz, Ricciardo, or Norris (I would say Leclerc but he loves Ferrari too much to ever leave).

His poor wife lol

I like watching max win every race lol. What I don’t like is Checo’s attitude. I wish he’d just chill.

RB would never take Sainz, Norris is to start to go to RB, Ricciardo is the fit, for a couple of years at least

[danthropologie]

I do not get Checo changing his win narratives to negative team issues every time! What is the strategy behind that?! First the fastest lap stuff team blaming and now the bringing up Australia/blaming team for not being wdc lead…like I’d be constantly telling people how great I did when I won, not changing the convo to my mistakes…like if he wants to go on a PR/fictional narrative offensive it’d be so much more entertaining if instead of poor me he went with ego/bravado (ie Max couldn’t get past me b/c he was coming from 15th? What’s your excuse for him from 3rd? Etc) Like I know why he doesn’t lol but I just don’t understand his current media strategy of undermining his team (especially his mechanics) after wins

no and that's what i don't understand either? cause i guess, sure, on some level he's big upping himself by implying/saying that if the team hadn't caused those problems for him, he would be leading the championship. but at the same time, when this is such a team sport and there's so many things completely out of the driver's control, it feels like playing with fire to over and over again, completely unnecessarily and for weeks on end, blame them for problems that either aren't their fault at all or aren't that clear cut. and that feels doubly true for a team like red bull where, at least from the outside looking in, the team culture feels very "either you're with us or you're thrown to the wolves."

[justaredheadf1fan]

What the hell was this, Australia?

Sup people!

No, I did not wake up to watch Quali at 7am. I mean, I could still be asleep but here we are 🤣

Quali - Saturday

Let's see what this mess of a weekend takes us now.

Sargeant having some trouble there. CHECO GOES OFF. YES!!!!! Red Flag and it's a RBR. Life is good. He'd been having a tone of trouble during FP3. But why is it never his damn teammate!?

That was a rather quick one, pretty quiet so far apart from the Checo snafu. Sharl is going through it apparently, poor boy is struggling.

Q1 is coming to an end and expectations are running wild at the moment.

Merc babies please proceed to move your asses out of the drop-out zone, I'm about to have a heart attack. LOL LANCE P1. There we go, babe!

I was gonna say "the Ferraris are fighting!" but I see Sharl getting P1 from Stroll and Carlos just being around. And Norris keeps just going off track like he's talking a walk.

That bird has been reborn after that near miss 🤣 How on Earth is Nico right there on the top? He's doing quite a good job lately. Lewis joining the party right at the end.

The battle begins, I know how this ends but seeing it myself hours later feels exactly as exciting as it would've at 7am.

LEWIS GOES P1!!! Shame it just lasts for a minute, but God does it feel right!

Rain is on the way and there's just time for one last push. Okay I believe I've just seen the reason why Sharl was all salty right after Quali.

What the fuck was Nico doing? Shit and Alonso gets P2, Jesus this is a fucking nailbiter!! But here come the Merc boys, right the last second they make it!! God, what is this!!!!!

Just watched the interviews post Quali and it's so funny how Lewis and George are so in sync for everything, including leaving Sid the sloth behind without missing a beat 🤣 I love to see it, why lie about it.

More of this stuff tomorrow I hope, it's an amazing start, way better than I anticipated, so hoping for the good stuff again.

Race - Sunday

G'day everyone, I'm dead right now. Why is it so early? 🥹

This is about to start now, and I can't be any happier that McLaren is looking so bad. Well deserved.

It's go time. GEORGE TAKES P1, SHARL OFF TRACK TO THE GRAVEL AND LEWIS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE GETS P2!!!!!! Safety Car coming out after Lance pushed Sharl off track to the gravel. Boy what a start!

Fraudstappen (yes, I'm coming back to this because he deserves it) complaining on the radio about Lewis pushing him out. Are you fucking kidding me? You fuck up the start because every time you have Lewis close you lose your shit and then you can't even defend your position, so "he pushed you off". Go fuck yourself.

That said, even Carlos had a better start. Quite impressive. But why does everything bad always happening to Charles? It's so unfair, my baby does not deserve this.

George shut up. Please, I love you a lot but lately you're getting on my nerves. Yes, Lewis is attacking, he's come to take no prisoners. But that's Lewis Hamilton you're talking about and last time you fucked around and you might just find out now.

ALBON IS OUT! SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED FOR THE SECOND TIME IN LESS THAN 10 LAPS! AND LEWIS IS P1, STOP THE COUNT! STOP THE FUCKING COUNT! And this turns into a Red Flag.

My, poor Sharl. So unfair. Why can't he have something nice? What is it that he has to do? Oh God and that camera angle from Nico????? Scary as fuck tbh.

So, it's a Standing Start now. I'm scared but I know Lewis can do this with his eyes closed. Alonso just behing Cuntstappen, this calls for a crash between the two. IN ALONSO WE TRUST.

COME ON LEWIS, HERE WE GO. FERNANDO FOR FUCK'S SAKE GET THE MORON. The restart is being investigated now due to half the cars stopping in the same spot. Jesus.

DRS enabled and Alonso flopped. I hate this. I mean, who wouldn't catch the leader with an illegal car? No surprises. But still he cries when he's been passed fair and square. Asshole. How is it possible getting 2 SECONDS in HALF a lap? And no team complains or does anything? It's unbelievable.

So Alonso suddenly has pace again and it's just in time to get to Lewis, but he "couldn't" do anything to catch Fraudstappen. What a surprise.

GEORGE HAS FIRE ON THE BACK OF HIS CAR. LEWIS ALL ALONE NOW, SHIT. He had to stop at the exit of the pit lane and it's now closed. Facing a VSC now. It's 3 cars down so far today. Shit Australia, don't make it worse now.

Back to racing again, just hope Alonso flops the same way he does agains the idiot. This feud with Lewis (only Lewis) is just uncalled for. He's the only driver he's doing this with. Never fights Cuntstappen but Lewis appears and it's his time to start doing something every single time.

At least if anyone can manage the tyres and do a fantastic job defending his position, that's Lewis. I just wish he could catch Sid the Sloth again and slap him in the face, but as I said, with an illegal car even the rest of us could win that easily.

Alonso back to playing his game again. Can this race please end already? This has been enough. I'm dying here. And Carlos... Yes, that overtake on Pierre was fantastic but he manages that once every 8 races? He's above Sharl on sheer luck, not because he deserves anything, same as his seat in Ferrari, purely because of his last name, because he shouldn't be there, he's done nothing really worthy of getting a Ferrari seat. And I'll die on this hill.

Lewis setting Fastest Lap twice is just something worth watching. Other than this, I really want to go back to sleep, this is bullshit.

I hope Pierre catches Carlos, he deserves it. Cuntstappen going off to the grass and losing 3 full seconds. Can't he just have a PU problem? Can't care enough either about Norris getting passed Nico. McLaren needs to flop 100%.

KEVIN NO!!!! HE HAS A FAILURE AND HAS TO STOP ON TRACK. SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED. He's lost a wheel too!? I can't believe this. Will they finish under SC at the race that Masi's watching? Or will they race until the end? RED FLAG. AND IT'S A STANDING START? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry but no. This is fucking stupid and unacceptable. It's so clear. They set the precedent in Abu Dhabi and they just feel like they can do it all over again anytime they feel like it. Un-fucking-believable. This sport is so unserious.

God, I hate this shit. I can't cross any more fingers right now. AND YESSSSSS CARLOS HITS FERNANDO!!!!!!! NOOOO ESTEBAN AND PIERRE NO!!!!!! ANOTHER RED FLAG!!!!

And this is what happens when the FIA does whatever they want to fuck around with one driver. They put every single one of them at risk, because on a 2-lap race everyone will risk it. Fucking morons, this could've been avoided by not restarting or just by restarting under SC (which would've been nonsense too tbh). This is shameful.

Now what? We don't have any news from Esteban and Pierre, are they even okay? I really do, that was so unlucky for both of them. Shame they had to pay for this bullshit. We need a body to control the FIA. I'm sorry but they shouldn't be in charge on their own anymore. This is absolutely stupid, dangerous and someone will get killed again if they keep acting like this. They can't be trusted.

So I guess it'll be a rolling start and it'll end up the way it's looking now? God I should've never got up to watch this 🤣 In the mean time, Lewis is vibin' and Toto is making friends. Please, let this be done.

5-second penalty for Carlos for hitting Alonso. All in favor of Carlos crashing against Fernando, but the penalty is well deserved. The FIA should've done this differently once again? absolutely. But fuck him anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ He's the one that's caused everything on that restart, directly and indirectly.

That said, something was just brought to my attention through here as the restart appears on my screen. A certain individual was not positioned correctly at the restart. Guess who? And guess what will happen? Nothing. I do hope Mercedes and Aston Martin complain. I mean, they were super tough about this exact thing with both Esteban and Fernando, but now they're gonna give a pass to this person? That's unexpected, huh?

The only thing in this world making all of this worth is Lewis' smile. Seriously, we don't deserve him. Especially Mercedes right now, but that's a whole other story. The Cool Down room giving us one of those unexpected moments between Lewis and Alonso. It's funny, actually.

It's finally over, I just need to go back to sleep before I pull my hair out after this shit. Good thing it's another 2 weeks before the next one. This is not the sport I used to love, in all seriousness. This is just a circus. There's no sport in this left.

Peace out!

[bwoahtastic]

Okay this is just a thought because idk if you plan on including seb's birth mother and sisters too but... Norbert being a single parent to Seb for the years he still had him so it's even more painful when Seb gets stolen from him. Firstly, when Norbert is back in Seb's life, it helps him bond with young momma Checo a lot? Because they had quite similar situations.

But also you could always have toto and Norbert kinda being together? Maybe platonic soulmates, maybe more...

Oh that is very very interesting 👀

Norbert as single parent, maybe as a Beta who had a pup with an Omega who didn't want anything to do with them adter giving birth to Seb? Poor poor Norbert being so broken when his cub is taken🥺

And if Norbert is a Beta, he bonds so so well to checo and helps him a lot, because he was a single parent too!

Toto and Norbert as lowkey platonic soulmates could be really interesting 👀 Toto letting Norbert move in because Norbert is living far away and didn't get around to finding another house closer to seb, where je really wants to be, and they just vibe together! Maybe they could be interesting as more slash too👀 Seb wouldnsure joke about it a lot lol

[rolling-restart]

didn't checo marry a teenager and cheat on her in monaco ???

OH here we go now.

Arguably, he is my least favourite driver on the grid for multiple reasons!

So Carola Martinez, his wife, is 25 which makes her 21 in 2018 when they got married. Allegedly, their relationship was public in 2017 and their first child was born in the same year. Which makes Carola a 20-year-old mother. Their actual start of the relationship is unclear but it is simply not giving amazing vibes since they have a 7-year age gap.

Let's continue. Sergio Perez celebrated his sensational 2022 Monaco Grand Prix with a”bad party” where he was snapped dancing body-to-body with an unnamed woman that was not his wife. Additionally, during this event, his youngest child is only two weeks old and it gives me the biggest ick. Even Verstappen's mum was involved in blaming him which is incredibly funny to me

In 2014, Sergio Perez has apologised after making a sexist joke about Susie Wolff's outing for Williams in Friday practice.

The Mexican told Spanish television that he would not like a woman as a team-mate, adding that women were "better to stay in the kitchen".

Perez praised Wolff as a "great driver", but then made the controversial remark, adding: "Imagine being beaten by a woman." in his apology. Lol. Obviously, Susie said "Saw some comments made by Sergio Perez as I was making dinner in the kitchen last night. Please give him a break." on Twitter and then she added. "His comments were taken completely out of context. Anyway, as my family will tell you, I drive better than I cook!"

I can't say I admire how Susie handled it and how those words worked in a particular context but it definitely smells bad to me.

His father, Antonio Perez Garibay, is a well-known politician in his own country, linked to the ruling NGM party of President Andrés Manuel López Obrador. The president has been in power since 2018 and had made promises of tackling corruption and working on curbing the power of drug cartels.

But a section of the Mexicans feels that his governance has not been successful in doing so and therefore dislikes his regime. The poor handling of the Covid-19 pandemic has ignited the rage among the population even more.

I cannot find the source now but someone on Twitter mentioned he is using Sergio's fame to his benefit in his political endeavours. Curious. His party is centre-right to right-wing according to Wikipedia and they promote Liberal conservatism and Christian democracy. Everyone's political taste to themselves but it is an ick for me to be affiliated with a such thing and giving someone a platform in this.

That's it so far. Send it my way if you find anything else!

[rickybaby]

ngl the idea of lando going for the rb seat in 2024 makes me irrationally angry lmao

but it’s like you said he knows he’s the nr1 at mclaren and unless something drastic happens and oscar becomes the first priority (that poor boy it’ll never happen) lando’s sitting extremely comfortable where he is

anyways I still hope mclaren falls apart next season with no podiums or points but that’s just me lol

Oh you’re not alone in praying for mclaren’s downfall and you know what, our prayers are being answered because the season has not even begun and they’re already in the mud

I’m actually so interested to see how the Oscar-mclaren/Lando dynamic will play out next year. Obvs his performance will be judged in the rookie context but the way he has been hyped because of his past wins (and we all know that winning f2 or f3 doesn’t necessarily equate f1 success) people will be harsh on him and expect him to be up to speed pretty quickly. Good luck to him for starting his career at McLaren because we all know mclaren doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to treating their drivers right (re checo, kev and stoffel)

Also both lando and oscar come across as spoiled brats to me and I just know the vibes, as the kids say, are going to be rancid

[fcb-mv33]

So happy for Max - got the win he should have had last year 🥳 but also sad for Charles as he is getting let down by his team and the car more than making his own mistakes. I wanted a Max/Charles battle for the championship this year so I don’t want Charles to keep getting DNFs if it means he will be out of the running 😔

Also, have you seen the drama between Daniel and Lando fans? It’s like Mclaren have created a civil war 😶 happy for Daniel to finally get points again and be ahead of Lando - for his confidence more than anything (I do like Lando as well but this is a nice change). Hoping he keeps this momentum for the rest of the season… especially now Andreas said since Barcelona there have been issues with his car and they’ve only now appeared to resolve it. Feel somewhat bad for Lando because those radio messages don’t make him look good but he shouldn’t get abuse for it

Honestly after the week Max has had with all the bullshit from the media this was v much what he deserves. He drove a fantastic race at the start to catch up to Checo and then managed his tires (kinda lol poor Gp) and he deserved this win. I do ofc feel a bit bad for Charles tbh I think Ferrari will push on as much as they can from here but Max and Checo was just unstoppable atm, Max especially when he has the car fully under him. I would like to see those two back at it again tho🥺

The whole Mclaren thing I do tend to not really care much about because whatever call they make one fanbase is gonna be pissed🙃. I think that them having Daniel back up cars was stupid, they should have left him and Lando fight it out for the position both times because they weren’t racing anyone else bar themselves. I think the strategy fucked but drivers up cause when they pitted Lando it made zero difference.

Lando getting abused for his radio messages is ridiculous and I’ve always said that. If we want to listen to the radios we can’t abuse the drivers for it liek that’s stupid. I do think Daniel may push up a bit with his performances especially after the shitty comments but yeah today showed how much of a mess Mclaren is tbh.

[lolexjpg]

dts s5 e9-10: THE FINAL POST

e9: -have not been looking forward to the christian horner episode i must say -GOD listening to everyone talk abt how dominant of a year this was for max knowing whats to come 🙃🙃🙃🙃 -this whole "well we didnt do it on purpose so its not cheating" is SO SILLY like imagine if i went to the irs like sowwy i didnt pay my taxes correctly i didnt know 🥺🥺 doesnt matter ur still getting fined lol -i have always felt that christian's whining here is Extra Obnoxious like he didnt spend YEARS going after every lil thing mercedes might've stepped wrong on. if there was a rumor that mercedes went even $100 over cost cap you KNOW he wouldn't shut up about it but when the tables turned he's such a victim -max is going to be deaf by 40 istg. insert huh cat meme that is him always. (affecionate) -"these people talk shit through the media but'll never say it to my face" have u considered its not bc theyre scared to say it to you but bc you're a rancid person they'd like to avoid interacting with. food for thought -"maybe you feel guilty, i dunno" binotto ate with that one i mean IF THE SHOE FITS -I THINK. as it was in 2020 w/ the pink mercedes. (and in 2007 with mclaren!) the penalty for the cost cap breach should've been a dock in constructors championship points. it wouldn't affect the final standings of 2021 (mercedes beat them anyway, there was a big gap to ferrari in 3rd). it would be a great way to set a strict precedent that would easily motivate teams to be very careful with the budget cap WITHOUT changing any results. FIA hire me -say what u like abt will buxton they will never make me hate you will buxton. the way he is with words explaining drama he is the caesar flickerman of f1 and if you cant appreciate it thats a you issue -showing the singapore grand prix and all i can think abt is iconic post race dando interview. yeah i'm sure the race was cool too i guess -I FUCKING FORGOT HE PULLED THE MENTAL HEALTH CARD bro is seriously like dont talk about the cheating we did think of our poor mental health 🥺🥺🥺 anyway i'm gonna go fire nyck devries midseason brb -WOMP WOMP -once again if the roles were reversed christian would be spearheading a campaign to get a mercedes title stripped be so fucking forreal -more max/gp fics. their dynamic is immaculate chefs kiss -god if lewis won this race it wouldve been so iconic. sad

e10: -ad22 top 10 daniel outfits ever. btw -um lando norris neurodivergent agenda the way he's talking about food here? something going on in that brain. when he ordered 13 spring rolls as a meal in that iconic nortrell stream? that is not a way a neurotypical person eats i swear on god -them asking charles how his season was then immediately cutting to the france crash is so mean. good narrative storytelling, but mean nonetheless -how cathartic it must be for nando to benefit from ferrari blunders lol -pre this season coming out, i remember hoping they'd have a proper focus on carlos' austria dnf. it did get a lil moment but it was, for me, the most shocking mechanical dnf of the season and i was looking forward to seeing more of the inner details of it all. oh well -cinematic parallels between merc & ferrari fighting for 2nd in 2022 AND 2023 -brazil must have some typa rule abt not having netflix there bc they always miss out on the most bangers of races. sad. i love u brazil 22 :') -"they told me i can do whatever i want. when i see carlos, put him in the wall" max i am. i am kissing u. on the mouth. mwah mwah mwah -i DO wish. the focused more on the charles v checo battle. that was simply more important. but i guess that didnt work well with the happy ending they gave checo in e7 so -"omtar might get the last laugh this time around" :)))))) for the last time babey hell yeah -FUCK hate how awkward this dando moment they chose to feature is. they're so much more than that. dts only watchers they're in love and doing the nasty on the reg i PROMISE -this daniel comp is so goofy silly now that hes coming back lmao. i do love him he is so important for the reach of f1 and drive to survive and he deserves all the love he gets -HI LOGAN SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF U IN THE NEW SEASON MWAH

[roscoehamiltons]

time to catch up on quali

(yes i spoiled myself on the results already but i have to watch lewis get pole with my own two eyes)

- i actually like the idea of the new format, i think it’s a good and less complicated way of spicing things up for quali. tho arguably, quali is doesn’t really need to be spiced up bc it gives way more stress and excitement than the races do

- the commentators questioning mercedes’ decision to send george and lewis out later than everyone else .. same lol. like i get that the track gets faster the more rubber is put on it but it’s so fucking stressful to watch them risk them not making it thru at the end of each session

- the question of how many races to give daniel leeway.. i think giving him until after the summer break is fair?? two races might not be a lot but i think it gives us an idea of the gap to him and yuki and i think rbr has done everything to give daniel the tools to succeed. i know he’s not the most adaptable driver but he already knows the red bull + alpha tauri team, and i think he’s a lot more comfortable with them already than he ever was in mclaren

- seeing valtteri at the top of the timing boards again makes me so happy. i love him and i always wish that alfa romeo were a better car and team so him and guanyu can do well and get points instead of just slugging around at the bottom like they have been lately

- george out of Q1... the petty part of me is happy bc i don’t like him and it’s a fuck you to everyone who said george was better than lewis bc of the qualifying results last year. but it’s also not his fault and mercedes need to stop sending them out so late and into traffic

- yuki getting eliminated in Q1 :( as much as i’m happy about daniel and yuki being teammates bc i rly like them both, it’s bittersweet bc there’s a lot at stake for both of them in their current situation. tbh i’m more worried about yuki losing his seat more than daniel so even tho i’m happy about daniel beating him (esp as a fuck you to his haters), it also leaves a bad feeling for me

- ouch the graphic that checo hasn’t made it to Q3 in the last 5 races. it’ll be interesting to see how he does for the rest of the year now that daniel is back. at least he’s made it this time i suppose

-  carlos out in Q2 🤭 this quali has been good to me (aside from alex getting knocked out early)

- wow daniel getting the best qualifying result for alpha tauri in the last 5 races, let’s go ba-by! i feel vindicated that he’s doing well. i’ve had the thought that a lot of his poor form at mclaren can be attributed to confidence and psychology and i think that’ll be proven correct as we see the rest of the year

- not this commentary about how fast these random people are going down the water slide LOL. ngl i’ve been really enjoying the f1 tv commentary since i switched from the international feed and i wish i had done it sooner

- lewis pole !!!!!!! the emotion on the radio and him crying in the car. no words can describe how happy i am, how proud i am. he’s been working so hard and it’s been a long time coming. i’ve never stopped believing in him and i know there are more good things to come and i can’t wait to see it  

[bwoahtastic]

I'm giggling at the idea of bubba Charles becoming really good at escaping, much to Max's poor heart lol. They're doing testing and one of the staff is suppose to watch Charles but he slips out of his dino leash and is running around thinking its hide and seek. Checo, who comes in a bit later not knowing what's happening inside, finds bubba napping under a tree in just his nappy. Once inside, chaos, everyone looking for bubba. Max seeing Checo runs to him relieved. They never find the clothes.🤣

ksksksk pllss Charles is a DISASTER

so easily distracted and determined to find momma when mimma is nit there. Even his dino leash cant stop him!!

Checo finding Charles napping under a tree in just his nappy and cuddling his teddy and he just picks the bub up and asks what is going on and Charles sleepily tells him he was waiting for momma!

Everyine inside is panicking and Max is practically hyperventilating in panic and he hugs charles so so tight when he finally has his pup back! But yeah, no one knows what happened skks