#poor fucking lizzie man

[doomordestiny]

ohhh the argument between jay and lizzie in 101….ohhhh…..”i also fucking loved her” ohhhhhh ohhh my god ohhh fuck

[thecoolerliauditore]

just. leaving this here

[infizero]

jesus christ. that was a Session if there's ever been one

[simpforboys]

hey babe!!

i was thinking maybe protective!gf!reader x rafe, where they’re at the kegger together and a random girl starts clinging onto rafe, not knowing you’re his girlfriend and reader throws some punches

i live for protective reader oml🙇🏻‍♀️

learn your place

rafe cameron x fem!pogue!reader

summary: you teach a kook girl her place.

warnings: swearing, violence, fluff, rafe is proud af

sorry this took forever </3, also not proof read

the way your stomach turned over when you walked into the kegger with your long-term boyfriend, Rafe Cameron, was enough to shoot some red flags.

hundreds of kooks were on the Lighthouse Preserve, dozens of red solo cups littered onto the sand.

you were the only pogue who came to these parties, not really because you wanted to, but because Rafe had asked.

and unfortunately, whenever those baby-blue eyes looked pleadingly at you, you always seemed to cave.

“what’s up, Cameron?” Topper asked loudly, dapping up Rafe as you stood beside your tall boyfriend.

Kelce did the same to Rafe, before turning to give you a side-hug. “hey, future Mrs. Cameron.”

you playfully rolled your eyes at the nickname. “yeah yeah, shut up.”

you felt Rafe’s fingers interlock yours, pulling you into his side. more people came over to greet you, and the stares some of the kook girls were giving you were a nightmare.

you didn’t want to be one of them, and maybe that’s why they hated you so much. and maybe the fact you were dating the ‘Kook Prince’.

“let’s go get a drink.” Rafe said to you, holding you close to him as he walked over to the keg, supervised by some other guys you’ve never seen before.

as they pour you and Rafe a drink, you narrow your eyes at a short blonde who is drunkenly giggling at Rafe.

the sparkle in her blue eyes almost made you sick. you felt Rafe’s grip tighten around your waist, kissing your temple as he mumbled into your ear, “relax, baby. you look like you’re gonna kill someone.”

while you knew he was joking, you pressed your lips together and began to chug the beer.

➽───────────────────❥

a few hours later, you wandered around trying to find a bathroom. Rafe wanted to go with you, but you insisted that you were a big girl.

you finally found a little outhouse. after a couple moments, you walked back to the party, desperate to find hand sanitizer.

one of the only nice girls, Lizzie, happened to have cherry scented sanitizer. while you rubbed the liquid into your palms, your eyes looked around for your boyfriend.

the same blonde girl from earlier was holding onto his muscled bicep, trying to get his attention. the poor girl looked desperate, as Rafe wasn’t even acknowledging she was there.

Topper and Kelce looked uncomfortable, knowing all too well of your protectiveness of Rafe, and how badly you were going to kick the shit out of this chick.

“you can’t find any other guys to hang onto? or do you look for specifically taken ones?” your voice sent goosebumps down her tan skin as she drunkenly stared at you.

“excuse you?” she asked, trying to raise her voice, one that sounded almost babyish.

“i know my boyfriend is hot, but girl if you think holding onto him is going to catch his attention then you’re damn wrong.” you snapped, your blood boiling from her ‘pick me’ behavior.

“Rafey- this crazy girl is trying to fight me.” the girl looked up at Rafe, a forced pout on her face. you cringed at the nickname she gave your man.

Rafe just now seemed to be aware of the situation, as he tugged the girl off of him. “who the fuck is Rafey?” he laughed, his eyes shining as he turned his head to look at you.

you looked exactly like how he described earlier, like you were going to kill someone.

Topper and Kelce immediately downed their beers, knowing what was going to happen next. and while Rafe did too, he didn’t really care too much to stop it.

“you’re going to pick some… poor slut over me!” the girl whined, stomping her foot.

Rafe’s jaw dropped slightly, but before he could defend you, you had already shot your fist forward.

a loud crack was heard as your knuckles came in contact with her nose, shattering the bone. people from around moved into a circle, some recording as you moved forward again.

blood was gushing down from her nose, tears pouring from her eyes as you pushed her backwards.

rage filled your body, the alcohol pumping pure adrenaline through your system as you straddled her, throwing punch after punch onto her face.

your head was ringing, and you barely felt Rafe’s arms scoop you up. you kicked out, kicking the girl in the boob. you managed to get out of Rafe’s grasp.

“how’s that for a poor slut, huh? stay away from my man, bitch!” you shout, impulsively spitting on the girl as Rafe grabbed you once more.

“alright, baby. this isn’t Jersey Shore.” Rafe joked, pulling your body into his. your head rested against his chest, hearing his pounding heartbeat.

your own heartbeat matched his, the adrenaline beginning to wear off. you recognized the aching in your hands, your knuckles bruised and bloody.

Rafe helped you onto the little speedboat you two arrived in, turning the engine on. while Rafe was silent, you sat on the couch with your head in your hands.

your head ached with a migraine. the loud sound of the motor wasn’t exactly helpful, either.

the ride home was silent, except for the sound of the motor against the water. when Rafe pulled up to your dock, he tied off the boat.

“let’s get my girl cleaned up.”

Rafe said gently, walking in front of you. he opened the door to your run-down house, knowing where the first aid kit is.

there’s been multiple occasions of either you or Rafe getting into fights, so it became routine for the both of you.

as you put the toilet seat down, you sat on the lid as Rafe sat on the edge of the bathtub.

“damn, y/n. you might’ve broken a knuckle.”

Rafe comments, cleaning the blood up with rubbing alcohol. you hissed at the sting, shaking your leg. the motion caused his leg to shake too, before he trapped your legs between his thighs.

“stop moving, mama. let me take care of you.”

his words were gentle, soft. as he put gauze and bandages over your knuckles, you followed him into the kitchen where he grabbed two bags of frozen peas.

he placed them gingerly on your bones, careful not to hurt you.

“i’m sorry i hit her. so many fucking times…” you mumble.

Rafe lets out a soft chuckle, kissing your forehead.

“when will these kook girls learn their place?” he jokes, making you smile as you kissed his lips feverishly.

[sebaztianlovesgeek]

THE NON CANON PARTS OF THE BLACK BUTLER ANIME IN BOTH SEASON 1 AND 2 AND ALSO THE SPECIALS WERE WILD

(in no particular order)

Ciel hires a random naked dog man who can turn into a giant wolf to be his servant even though he literally does nothing around the manor and just hangs out with Finny all the time

Finny forms a crush on a character we later find out is an angel named Angela and after the dog village arc ends we never hear of his crush again

For the most part the curry arc is the same, but for some reason they decided to change the ending. In the manga Lau and Ranmao killed Nina and her husband, in the anime everyone becomes evil by eating curry, and Sebastian had to feed them all his curry buns to turn them all good again, WHAT??

Sebastian has sex with a Nun in some cult church

Angela took Vincent and Rachel's bodies and stitched them into a weird Frankenstein looking thing because apparently that would combine their souls in the afterlife so they could be together forever

Also the whole thing with Ciel being kidnapped by the cult is never explained despite Queen Victoria and Angela being responsible for the death of his parents, therefore you'd think they'd also be responsible for the whole cult thing? But they would have no reason to sell a 10 year old to be abused by a cult-

Ash (aka Angela because they're the same person) turns Queen Victoria into A FREAKING LOLI

Ciel is framed for drug trafficking

Sebastian is arrested and kept in a torture dungeon for like 3 days where he is BDSM whipped by Angela for some reason

Fred Abberline dies

Fred before he dies mentions he doesn't have any family yet he has a brother who shows up in season 2-

Lau and Ranmao die yet they also show up in season 2

Lizzy gets kidnapped by a doll man and is almost turned into a doll zombie (not a bizarre doll just a doll zombie)

Sebastian ditches Ciel in France for some reason

Ciel finds Undertaker on some random boat and then Undertaker tells him he's gonna freakin' die

London is on fucking fire

Who caused the fire? Pluto. And thats the only part of the story where he is relevant

The final fight between Sebastian and Ash/Angela is fucking awesome though

In season 2 Ciel is just in a suitcase and has amnesia

Alois pokes Hannah's eye out for spilling a drink or something

Ciel and Lizzy try to find a deer or something and everyone thinks they're gonna break up after just 1 argument

Lau even started a gambling thing where people put down their bets on whether or not Ciel and Lizzy were gonna break up

Some weird old lady set random people on fire because she didn't like her husband, for some reason the fire disintegrated the souls so Grell couldn't collect them which doesn't make sense

Some weird bullshit happens on a train with a Pharaoh, a murderer and Sebastian being cool like always

Alois has a dress up party at his house

Soma and Agni cry because Ciel has amnesia

Soma is dressed up as Sherlock Holmes even though black butler takes place before that came out

Lizzy dresses up as a Native American, lets just say she's lucky Twitter didn't exist in the Victorian Era

Kinda like the whole curry thing everyone turns evil except its from music from a magic instrument Hannah plays and not curry, and Sebastian stops it by playing his own music kind of like the final battle in Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks

Alois crossdresses and turns Ciel bi curious

Sebastian and Claude have sexual tension in the lake

Ciel and Alois have a sword fight, Ciel is thrown off a balcony and Alois is stabbed

"PLEASE HELP ME CLAUDE, HELP ME I'M DYING 😭"

We soon find out about Alois' backstory and it's actually quite sad and hits a bit close to home for me, I won't go into detail but the poor kids been through a lot, Alois is genuinely an interesting and kind of well written character its a shame he was put in the non canon pile of shite

Claude then crushed Alois' skull and takes his soul and puts it in a ring

Kids are getting their eyeballs ripped out and apparently Alois is doing all of this, but for some reason Scotland yard THINKS CIEL IS ALOIS WHICH IS SO DUMB BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN WORKING WITH HIM EVER SINCE HE BECAME THE QUEENS CORGI GUARD DOG

He is taken to some doctor and is dumped into a pool of gatorade to fuse his and Alois' souls

Ciel's backstory is basically half of Alois' and half of Ciel's and thinks Sebastian killed his brother Luca

Ciel doesn't like Claude because Claude is a goober

Hannah does a weird thing with Ciel she like... Possesses him? And his eyeball appears in her mouth or something? I had no idea what was going on

Soon it is revealed Hannah was the one who ate Luca's soul and is now feeling like a mother figure for Alois because of it

Grell shows up again (yay) and she keeps trying to take sexy photos of Sebastian

Soon Claude and Sebastian end up at a maze thingy and they need to answer trivia questions to get to Alois/Ciel's soul

Soon they go to some demon island and they end up fighting using a demon sword while Ciel and Alois talk about shit in some void

Claude fucking dies (rip goober)

Alois' soul is finally set free and the poor kid gets to be with his little brother again

Hannah turns Ciel into a demon so Sebastian can no longer eat his soul so Sebastian just becomes Ciel's butler for all eternity and I lowkey feel bad for him, because yeah eating childrens souls is wrong but BRO WORKED SO HARD HE LITERALLY BANGED A NUN FOR THIS CHILD AND THIS IS THE THANKS HE GETS??

Ciel and Sebastian fake their death, the end of season 2 and a few years after that the ACTUAL CONTINUATION OF THE CANON PARTS come out

Ciel in wonderland is very silly

Sebastian as the rabbit is hot for some reason, does that make me a furry?

There is a lot of weird fan service, for example Ranmao keeps shoving her boobs and butt into Ciel's face... LADY THAT IS A 13 YEAR OLD YOU CANT DO THAT-

I'm glad it wasn't canon because I love Ranmao and she would never do that in canon

Madame Red as the queen of hearts is very cool

Weebalu already mentioned this but I wish J Michael Tatum (Sebastian's dub voice actor) did a Alice In Wonderland audiobook in the Sebastian voice

The one where Ciel puts on a play for hamlet was funny, the part where they're practicing is funny because its like an actual theatre club

Soma and Agni are the kids who are always eating, Ciel is the kid who just sucks at acting, Grell is the one who is great at acting but is very annoying and Sebastian is the theatre teacher who wants to commit kms because of all of these stupid kids

Ranmao is seaweed

Grell tries to commit incest during the play-

The special where its basically a 'behind the scenes' thing kind of like an actor AU

Sebastian is a fucking 2010's boy band looking lad

Grell is just amazing in this

In the final "trailer" Grell got pregnant, Queen Victoria built a giant robot, Claude tried to destroy the world with the fucking moon, Hannah... Uhhh lets not talk about what she did, a whole load of "I am your father" type plot twists took place and Alois was Ciel and Sebastian's great great great great great great grand-

The special where theres this character who's basically a self insert but she's a white girl so if you're not either of those its kind of hard getting into it (cries in gay guy)

The POV shots look like something out of Dora The Explorer

Soma wants to marry us for some reason, I wouldn't mind that he's cute

We also get kidnapped by Viscous Druitt for no reason and then Sebastian and Grell save us from a boat in the middle OF THE OCEAN

Finally Will The Reaper (I'm sure there are more specials but I'm lazy)

Grelliam galore

Probably one of the best specials because Grell and William are the main focus and they're just the absolute best

[themultifandomgal]

Hey you! I just read that you take requests for peaky blinders and I’m wondering if you could maybe write something for John x reader? Like from s1 when he calls for a family meeting, that he wants to marry Lizzie. But reader is there maybe she works with Grace at the bar and has known John since they were young. She was in love with him but he married Martha, reader helped with their kids and her births and when his wife died she stayed around to help John. But he never thought she looked at him like anything more than a brother. But Polly knew and Tommy too, so when John asks them about Lizzie in front of you. They all tell him he’s blind to not see how reader loves him and his kids. She is really sad cause she thinks he’s going through with the wedding to Lizzie but when he gets home that night and she’s watching the kids he finally talks to her and asks her how she really feels. Like he would see her in such a loving way he couldn’t even consider she’d ever want a man like him. A real cute ending would be lovely

John Shelby- Tell Me The Truth Pt1

I just realised writing this how similar to my last request this one is so this time I’ve used actual dialogue from the season 1. Might make this one into a little series. Hope you enjoy.

Also trigger warnings- swearing, talking about vomit, violence, the usual peaky blinders stuff.

“Oh for fucks sake” YN groans as a man vomits at the bar “I gotta clean that up now, fucking twat go ‘ome to ya wife”

“Why d’ya think I’m ‘ere love” the chap wipes the vomit from his mouth making YN shudder a little. Rolling her eyes YN goes to get her mop and bucket while she leaves Freddie and Tommy to talk, although knowing it may end up in someone getting hurt

“Hi YN” Finn, the youngest Shelby sibling says smiling at her

“Hey Finn, why aren’t ya at school” the boy shrugs his shoulders

“Borin’”

“It may be borin’ but do ya wanna end up like ya brothers? an alcoholic, an other a deceiver, another married at 17 because he fucked some poor girl. Get yourself some juice then head back to school”

“Fine” the boy whines but does as he’s told, well kind off. YN doesn’t need to know that he’s took the juice and headed off home.

Walking back to the bar with a mop and bucket and some other cleaning supplies, she now sees Tommy and Freddie holding Danny up. Glass and chairs thrown everywhere

“Oh hell did I do it again?” he asks

“You did it again Danny”

“Miss YN I’m so sorry” Danny cries

“It’s ok Danny” YN says sympathising with him. She knows better than anyone how the war has changed so many people and families. She worked as a nurse to help the injured soldiers. Combat Fatigue, or shell shock is what they called it when men would return home, but they weren’t themselves. Unfortunately Danny, once a sweet caring man, now has moments where he forgets where he is. Just a noise could set him off. Knowing this YN knows that she shouldn’t be harsh on him. It’s not his fault

“Mr Shelby you have to do something about him”

“Damn right Harry. You pay the peaky blinders a lot of money for protection. Your the law around here now, aren’t ya Tommy?” Freddie say as Tommy takes a swig of whiskey

“And what would you suggest? Hm? Putting a bullet through his head? Kill an innocent man? Thought you would have done enough of that during the war”

“YN back to work” Harry says pointing at the girl

“Sorry ‘man’s business’ right? that’s a load of fucking bollocks and you know that”

“Harry get YN to drop the bill off at the betting shop. We’ll take care of this” Tommy says putting his cap back on and walking out of the bar

“I don’t know why you’re still involved with that lot” Harry mutters grabbing a broom. YN shrugs

“Grew up with John boy didn’t I. They’re family”

“Yet the man you love married another. I’d leave them before they break you” with that Harry gets to sweeping the floor. What Harry said hurt YN, not the part about them breaking her, no. They wouldn’t do that, the Shelby’s all treat YN as family. The part that hurt YN was that John married Martha, YN’s best friend. Tommy always said it was only because he got her pregnant and wanted to do the right thing, but YN always wondered if he hadn’t of got Martha pregnant would he have ever married her? Would’ve he and YN had a chance? Well it’s to late now. John married Martha and now is a widower with 4 children who YN had help Polly deliver.

Later that evening YN walks home, having to pass Johns house where she can hear the chaos that is bath and bed time. Going against her better judgement, YN finds her feet making their way to Johns house and knocking on the door. A disheveled John answers the door

“Oh thank god your here. I don’t know how Martha did this everyday” sighing YN gives him a weak smile entering his house

“Just get a glass of whiskey for me for when we’re done”

[kira-anon-uwu]

Tubbo tries to get his god damn divorce

word count: who fucking knows

summary: no

~-~-~

"Tommy,just sign the fucking papers."

Tommy got on his knees, wailing at his beloved husband. "No, please! I'll change, I'll be a better man! What if Molly married you as well?"

"More marriage isn't going to fix the situation, just sign the divorce papers!"

"But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But-,", Tommy stuttered, wimpering, "But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But- But… Think of our children, Tubbo…"

He gestured to the corner, where James Marriott and Jack Manifold were sitting.

"Goo-goo ga-ga,", said James, in a very deep and monitone voice.

"Yeah, no, I'm not fucking doing this,", Tubbo sighed, in a very bitch-like manner, as he got up and left.

He decided to take a long walk, to clear his head and question how he got to this point, eventually getting his phone out and calling the only friend he had with experience in The Law.

Quackity waved as he answered, on facetime somehow despite Tubbo calling him on discord. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Hey, Big Q; do you know anything about divorce court?"

"Not a damn thing, I missed that class to watch a soap opera on stream. what'd you need?"

"Could you be my lawyer? I'm trying to get Tommy to divorce me, but he only wants to talk about kissing without tongue and balls."

"Yeah….. About that…….. I'm actually already his lawyer, so……….. Yeah sorry. Too bad you guys didn't have a pre-nup, bye!"

Tubbo sat there in incredibly shocked silence after the man hung up. Yes, sat; man decided to sit in the middle of the sidewalk to ponder where it all went wrong.

His phone pinged, and he saw a message from Quackity telling him that the 'consultation' he'd just gotten was going to cost him $1 million dollars.

Tubbo could afford that, he was a multi-millionaire and a Tory after all, but not having a lawyer on his side didn't leave him with many options. Well, he *did * have one…..

Murder was legal in the UK if the victim was Tommyinnit; the Queen had spoken it into law when she got her restraining order. May lizzie rest in peace, and all that

Tommy had invoked squatters rights in his efforts to 'save their marriage', and had refused to leave Tubbo's home at all times since every second was a second for him to be wooed. Tubbo had shoved him in the closet where he belonged, hence Tommy's lack of streams as of late, so it would be incredibly easy to murder him and claim his wealth.

More money to the hoard, since Tubbo was a rich Tory that disliked the poor. wow that rhymed, regular eminem in these parts.

Anyways Tubbo got home and committed a horrible, unspeakable crime that will not be spoken so he didn't have to put up with any more of tommyinnit's bullshit.

Dragging the corpse to court gave him an easy win, and a medal of honor for taking out one of the nations loudest people that kept up the corrupt politicians all night.

tubbo got the kids and money and married someone famous and hot. idk who pick some hot guy out of a movie that you'd ship with tubbo and that's his happy ending.

The end.

[justa-moth]

this is an incredibly niche thing that will appeal to maybe like one other jrwi fan, but:

what crew i think various riptide characters would be on if they were tech theatre kids

because why not :]

Jay: - oh Set Crew for SURE dude - shes the head carpenter - she knows how to use every tool in the shop - she's the one helping the newbies learn said tools - she'll yell at you to be safe but also do the worlds most unsafe things - she probably gets thrown on fly rail alot and is bitter about it because she'd rather move stuff on stage

Chip: - Set - Now he might not be great at it - but he would just really enjoy using the power tools - (and Jay would be on his ass about it constantly because he is Not safe like at ALL) - he probably gets put on like the super heavy set piece for a scene change and will do nothing but complain about it

Gillion: - ok this one was hard - i dont think hes set crew - but i do think hes usually been crowned the official Heavy Set Piece Mover - just because hes the theatres resident Strong Man - honestly i think he's scared of most of the power tools tbh jhkfsdjhk - he's probably just general stage crew, aka just the jack of all trades guy that any of the crews can use if they need an extra hand - (however he never helps any of the crews that require like a steady hand, like makeup, costume, or props, just bc of how big and clunky he is hjkfsdjkh)

Queen: - probably props or makeup/costume - theyre utterly terrified of ANY power tools and will avoid the shop like the PLAGUE - she probably really enjoy just sitting and working on small details for props while they blare music - (she is also the person in the theatre with the BEST music tastes, literally the best rehearsal playlist) - you look away from queen for maybe an hour and he will come back with the most intricate and beautifully designed prop - and it ends up having maybe 5 seconds of screen time and will have to get deconstructed once shows over

Gryffon: - okay so he's the guy that everyone thought would be the resident strong man when he joined the theatre. - and while technically he is, this poor man finds a way to break fucking anything - working on a set piece? it will crumble when he walks in the room. - working on lighting? they lamps will explode - he's the murphys law man. if anything could go wrong, it Will if he's in the room - its gotten to the point where every show the theatre does a ritual to the Theatre Gods in hopes that gryffon's powers of Pure Destruction may be nullified long enough for them to actually get shit done - he probably just gets put on fly rail because thats the only thing he hasn't managed to break

Alphonze: - Lighting / Sound for SURE - i would trust this man to operate the board - he's literally a god at programming cues, hes always on time - he cuts the mic out the SECOND the actor leaves the stage, he gets mic problems fixed INSTANTLY - if somethings wrong with a light, he IMMEDITAELY knows how to fix it - he is essentially the Antichrist to gryffon's destructive power - its the Theatre Superstition that if Alphonze and Gryffon are in the same room for too long it'll cause a singularity

Lizzie: - Set or maybe even Stage Manager - she's probably stage manager, but like only hangs out with techies - because being in the room with the cast and their songs for too long makes her just actually wanna die - shes super chill, but then tech week hits and she means BUISNESS - her ass gets things DONE - they could be in any stage of the creative process, and lizzie will find a way to speedrun it in the best and most efficient way possible

Caspian: - Makeup / Costume - like i imagine him helping people do their makeup in the dressing rooms before show - he would also be that one poor head costume manager helping the main character with the worlds most stressful quick change - or the poor mf who has to speed safety pin someones clothes together because it ripped mid performance

Marshal John: - literally THE set guy, aside from Jay - you need something heavy moved quickly? get john - power tools broken? get john - literally any problem that could easily be solved by a Big Strong Man? john. - he, like gillion, is the other Resident Strong Guy - however all prop people know to never get NEAR him, because this poor man has a way of literally just breathing on a prop and causing it to shatter - he's just big and clunky and can't handle delicate things

Drey and Finn: - the resident Uncles of the theatre - they don't work there - but theyre there to support their Kids TM - drey probably donates random pieces of furniture to the set department - and finn makes BANGER meals for the crew when it gets closer to performance - and they work like 12+ hours without eating - finn will MAKE SURE these poor kids get their nutriants

Earl: - in the same vein, he's also just one of the resident Uncles - once before a performance earl didn't make them juice - and literally Everything went wrong - so now everyone is convinced that Earl's juice is Magical and Blessed - and if the theatre doesn't get blessed by his juice, everyone fears for their life - Earl uses this to his advantage, and will actively threaten people to drink his juice by saying like "if you don't drink this i'll make sure that chandelier breaks right before the finale!!" - and the poor set crew kids just start SWEATING

[lizzy-bonnet]

Austenian Dads

A recent post about mothers-in-law by @bethanydelleman had me thinking about the dads in Jane Austen. We get a lot of discourse about mothers and mother figures, who have big, important roles in the stores, but her depictions of fatherhood are interesting too. Here, in my opinion, are the dads and dad-like figures in her novels, ranked from best to worst.

(note: I've left out deceased and barely-there dads, but I will note that Mr. Dashwood's attempt to look out for his daughters, and the amount of grief occasioned by his death, indicate that he is a Top Dad.)

Mr. Musgrove - Notwithstanding "poor Richard", Mr. Musgrove has three reasonably well-adjusted adult children, seems to love his younger children, and goes to his daughter's bedside when she is injured. His children all make Sensible Matches, and he likes kids enough to permit the little Harvilles to be brought back to Uppercross to increase its noise. He folds my beloved Anne into his family and treats her affectionately whenever she is with them. By the standards of the day, he seems pretty solid. 8/10 Least Bad Dad.

Sir John Middleton - Like Mr. Musgrove, Sir John is a people person. His immediate and unreserved adoption of the Dashwoods in their hour of need tells us that he is an unambiguously good-hearted person, which usually leads to loving parenting. His kids are young so we don't see him interacting much with them, but his desire to give everyone a nice time bodes well. He doesn't notice when his teasing goes to far. 7/10 definitely tells the same dad joke over and over.

Mr. Bennet - As a reader I love him because he's pithy, but he's honestly not a great dad, and is not modeling a happy marriage for his daughters. He shows favouritism to Lizzy, lets Lydia run wild, is hurtful towards Mary and Kitty, and fails to save up any money to bribe worthless young men to marry his daughters. 5/10 for putting all his eggs in the "having a son" basket and then doing nothing when the handle on the basket breaks.

Lt. Price - Loud, embarrassing, shiftless. Ignores his daughters but seems to maybe do OK with his sons? 3.5/10, tops.

Sir Walter Elliot - This fucking guy, am I right? He's vain, he's self-obsessed, he's a spendthrift, and he's a dreadful parent. His eldest daughter is his favourite and he basically forgets Anne and Mary exist when they're not directly in front of him (and sometimes doesn't notice them even when they are). His favouritism has damaged Anne and Mary in different ways to Mr. Bennet's to his younger daughters, but the source is the same: he has one child who is like him and others that he doesn't click with, so he basically lets them shift for themselves. In the Elliot household I'm certain this means that sensitive Anne was left to grieve her mother without any comfort from her father. It's no wonder she was ready to marry the first loving man she saw. When he sees her looking well, he thinks it's down to her skin care regimen. 3/10 merely Gowland's.

Sir Thomas Bertram - Poor Fanny, her father figures are both the pits. Sir Thomas knows absolutely zero about what any of his kids are like and can't see how bad Aunt Norris's influence is on all of them. He swings wildly between neglectful and overbearing, and then tries to pressure Fanny into marrying Henry Crawford despite his attentions making her visibly miserable. He also knows perfectly well that Fanny is shy, and yet does not give her any warning that he's throwing a ball for her coming out, plus he sends her home to Portsmouth as a sort of weirdo punishment to make her see what she's missing by not marrying Henry. 2/10 points and he really only gets these for 1. offering to free Maria from her engagement and 2. getting a fire in Fanny's grate, even if he left it until WAY too late to do her much good.

General Tilney - the closest Austen gives us to a villainous parent. The General is dictatorial to his children, oppressive around the house and occasionally creepy towards Catherine. This is made apparent by the fact that the Abbey suddenly becomes much more fun when he goes off to London. He shows himself the ultimate Bad Dad by tossing his daughter's friend out of the house without explanation and hardly the resources to get herself home. 0/10 Gothic Tyrant Dad.

[lilywily143]

The last Murder Drones Live Blog

I'm gonna miss this series...

[Premiere time]

Lordddddddd I'm nervous as fucking hellllll

STOP LAGGING!

woahhh 184K people are watching!

I hate that today was when I got cramps from my shark week.....

2 minutes left now...

I wonder what the intro will look like?

I wonder if we'll start seeing Khan's squad, N, or Uzi?

1 minute!

228K people now?!

This premiere countdown looks cool btw, I forgot to mention

[episode starts]

woah um no intro??

CAR!

gravity floating things..

outsite?

Uzi: I am god....lord that was her intro?

THE TEACHER I REALLY DIDN'T ECPET TO SEE HIM?!

he's so tireddddd

Why are why actually focused on him>

Woah the coreeee

Bright bright

he;s not happy hahahah

uzi! hi!!!

spinny

this audio...

NORI!!

is there really no voices?

aww....

man they are cute

i love them AW THE FACES

destroy cyn's heart?

GAH UZI?! WHERE

WHAT HIT U ship?

N!!!!!!!!

HUGS!!!

hehehhe poor N I love you so much

he's so bad at the pilot stuff

hehehe hugs

sniffling

WOAH um solver socer

these light tendrils are freaky

back to no voices

TEASER MOMENT

AGH this is so pretty

holding hands

WBDVSIJLKHOFIUWAODJSBIVHDFIJVHBIFHJ YES YES YOU ARE DATING WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NUZI FANS REJOICE!!!!

kiss kiss please....

big hug

Uzii love your choas

J!!!!

WAIT N TIED HER UP!!!??

I LOVE N'S DRAWING "I O U 1 SPACESHIP"N I LOVE YOU

is j okay though?

she's um... okay with the solver?

KHAN LIZZY THAD NO! DON'T FALL

Thad's weapon :[

get the gun!

j you are fun

V!?!?!??!?!

YESSSSSS YOURE ALIVE

SHES RIDING A SENTINAL WOOOSDJNVKL :LNJFI

awwww the dino is wearing beau's cowboy hat :]]]]

hehhehe

'cant betray us that easy you NARC'

oops best frame to pause on, i'll share that later

IT'S THE I LIVED BITCH MEME

hehhehe Lizzy! NO

hehheshe's okay

oh no J please my heart :[ 'it tricked me too'

i love u V

HHEEHEHHEHE I LOVE YOU UZI YOURE AWESOME STOP HAVING YELLOW EYES THOUGH

stop fighting J and v :[

woah all the red :0

heheh their sunglasses

[pausing the video]

that was so much already, I am loosing it

262K People btw

[remuse]

hiya Flesha

creepy walk..

Lord the way she perked up in voice and facial expression when she said "hi N'

n it's okay... it's a lot....

WOAH WAH

UZI PLEASE NO YOU GOT THISSSS

QEFWGBOUDVSHJLFN WHAT??? YOU TOOK HER CORE?!?!?

WHAT THE HEK

N FIGHT FIGHT

N N N NO!

LORDD

Flesha stoppppppp

J WHY!?

N are you okayyyyyyyyy pleaseeee

flesha my god stop being so cute but so HORRIFYING

n is back kindaaaaa

n are you having a panic attack no no ahggggg

Uzi ir'aoky UZIIII

my lord flesha leaveeeeee

v and j?

V V V V V PLEASE BE THE REAL V

FAKE N

NO NO YOU BITCH ASS FLESHY

YOU TOOK N'S CORE NOOOOO

MY LORD THIS IS HORRIFYING

uzi......

V is so scared no....

DON'T EAT N

HAHHA THE SEARING

KHAN HIIIIIII!!!

FLESHA YOU FUCK

J STOP HERRRRR

UZI MY GODDDDD 'no one tramitizes these weirdly hot robots but me!' ahalnfidanfvsnkvdjv

V and Uzi love u

WOOO NORI I LOVEU

oh J's reaction to the gun

'k' Fleshaaaaaa pleaseeee

HAHAH NIGHT CORE

fight fight fight ooooo

these lyrics :0

The gun is charging now

THIS IS A EPIC FIGHT!!!!

Especially with Uzi using Nori's pick

J!!!!

LIZZY!?!??!

N!!! NO IT'S N!!!

N PLEASEEEE

OH MY GOD HOLOGRAM N

heheh seret handshake!!!

this fight man...

im speechless

PUPPY EYES COME ON!!

OH WOO!

hehaHAJBSL THE CUT IN THE MUSIC TO UZI AND N PRACTICING TH EHANDSHAKE IDEA I LOVE THEM!!!

WOAH GRAB THAT HEART!! B-BYE THEN !

It's black and white my god

These soundssssss so gross

UZI WHAT DID YOU DO!? WHAT IS THAT GONNA DO TO YOU

FLESHA ARE YOU GONE

Was. It couldn't have been that easy

UZI you look so sickkkkkkk

NOT A BLACK SCREEEEEEEn

Fatel error no no no no where are yoU!!

uzi where are you

THAD LIZZY!! KHAN!!!! GOOD TO SEE YOU

YDRXFHGVKBJN:LNJBHUVGIYCFTRFUYVGBHUNJLHBUGVYFCTRXUGVIBHNJI LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER FOR THEIR PARTNERS I LOVE YOU KHORI!!!!!

He's so confuseddddd 'kinda hot' HAHHAHA

SCHOOL BUSS!!!!

hi dino!!!

awwww nuzi hugsssss

'i'm a damaged oc'?? WHATTTT?@?!?

lord I am happy bean

WOAH OKAY BACK IN SCHOOL

i am in love with u uzi

awww Khan is there for his daughter my heart

theacher are u good?

JLADBSHUVFDSJ THISIS TOO CUTE WHERE IS THE BAD ENDING?!?!?!

" WOOO THAT"S MY GIRLFRIEND" ADBSHIVUJAKODVBDNDSBVLEWIDSBVHUDIOJAIBHFUGYDO*UIHVUGHVOGBJGVUILHBJKGUDSIBUGYEWFUSIHDVUIEFWYO*DSIHULKJ

doll....

paper airplane of doodles AHHAHA UZI GAVE N A MANGA

V and Lizzy are adorable as well

i love uzi's eyes

WOAH WOAH WOAH CREDITS?!?!?

20 MINUTES WENT BY FAST BUT ALSO SLOW

EEE I AM SCREENSHOTTING THESE CREDITS

but where did J go?

aww hi again zi-zi

uzi...?

HAHAH CYN IS STILL THERE BUT JUST AS A ANNOYANCE!!!

okay this was the best finale ever

ALSO I'M ON THE MERCH SHOP NOW AND I'M LOOSING ITTT SOOO CUTE

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Glamrock Freddy Through The Ball Pit Part 2

“Nothing could possibly go wrong!” Famous last words, and nothing at all like what Mike was thinking when he and his friends grabbed Evan in preparation to carry him closer to Fredbear. He was thinking more along the lines of “would you shut the fuck up?!” at the general vicinity of the voice in his head.

“Hey guys, I think he wants to give Fredbear a big ol’ kiss!”

Freddy could only watch as Mike and his friends raised Evan towards the gaping mouth of the golden bear animatronic. “No, that is not safe! Michael, this is not safe!”

Michael faltered slightly, not pushing Evan towards the death trap, but not protesting as his friends kept going.

Freddy was frantic. If he didn’t do something, the poor sobbing little boy would be seriously injured, if not killed. The springlock suits were decidedly not safe. Gathering all his metaphorical strength, the bear tried something he hadn’t even considered before. He pushed.

Everything settled into sharp clarity and to his shock, Freddy was able to pull the little boy towards him. “No! That suit is n-n-not safe to play with like this!”

The other three, Mike’s friends, seemed taken aback by the sudden change in their friend as Freddy sinks to the ground with Evan in his, Michael’s, arms.

“Chill dude!” The Chica masked teen held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Nothing was going to happen!”

“You do not know that!” Freddy responded, pulling Evan closer in a tight hug, hoping to comfort Michael’s younger brother. It didn’t seem to be working.

“What on earth were you thinking?!” Michael’s father, William, rushes forward, scattering Mike’s friends who leave with confused and disgusted looks. “Michael, answer me!”

Freddy blinks, realizing he would have to answer. “It was supposed t-to be a prank.” He says, at a loss as William grabs Evan from him.

William simply looks at him with narrowed eyes before turning towards the entrance of the diner. “Get up and grab your sister, we are leaving.”

Freddy stands, frowning at the tall man before scanning the crowd for the blonde girl. Elizabeth is standing to the side but steps forward when his eyes land on her. He holds out a hand and she takes it silently, a curious look on her face as she studies him while they follow William out of the diner.

(>*v*<)

Mike had zero clue what was happening to him, and he was freaking out. His body was moving on its own, following Father to the car with Lizzie in tow. He could only watch as he piled into the backseat with his siblings, feeling as his face shot a worried look at a quietly sniffling Evan.

Something was very, very wrong.

He watched as his family went home, as his voice quietly asked if Evan was okay, saw Evan frown in confusion before going to his room. He felt as his body sat down on his own bed, looking down at his hands.

“Wha-what’s happening?” He managed to squeak out past his horror. He felt his body jump slightly.

“Oh! Hello, Superstar!” His voice responded, soft enough that he didn’t think anyone outside his bedroom door would be able to hear. “I am… not ac-cutually sure…”

“What?!” Mike squawked. “How do you- who are you?!”

“I am Freddy Fazbear. I am unsure how this has happened. I am sorry if I have caused you any distress.” His voice replied.

Mike blinked, or he would have if he had control of his own eyes. “Freddy? You mean like Fredbear?”

The newly identified Freddy hummed as if thinking it over. “Sort of, but not quite. I am not Fredbear, though I was modeled after his later model.”

Mike had so many questions.

(>*v*<)

It took much longer than either anticipated for Mike to regain control of the body that he now apparently shared with a version of his Uncle Henry’s animatronic. Freddy had been forced to pilot for nearly a week, which they spent in Mike’s room while they tried to figure out how to switch back and forth between who got to be in control.

Mike learned a lot about Freddy in that time. Like how Freddy was apparently something called ‘artificial intelligence’, which Freddy explained meant that he was basically a sentient robot. Which, cool!

Freddy had no idea how any of this had happened however, just explaining to Mike that one moment he was being attacked by bots, and the next he was staring at Mike’s reflection in the mirror.

Freddy also told Mike a lot about his friends at the pizzaplex while staring up at Mike’s bedroom ceiling. He told him about the boy he had met before this whole mess started. Mike personally thought that this Gregory boy would be pretty fun to hang out with, even if he was Lizzie’s age.

Mike in turn, told Freddy about how he was helping Father and Uncle Henry design new versions of Fredbear and SpringBonnie, even adding two new characters to the crew. Mike explained how his favorite new character was Foxy “Because he’s a pirate and I love pirates, and foxes. They always look so soft and fluffy!”

Freddy would smile, just a little sadly, and say that he liked the idea. Secretly, Freddy was glad Chica would get arms instead of wings like Mike’s drawings had shown. His friend would not be able to do as much if she had wings.

There wasn’t a lot of time actually spent on figuring out how to switch body controls, it being both mentally and physically exhausting for both, but after a few days, Mike finally managed it.

Pushing to the front after what felt like years, Mike could hear Freddy cheering in celebration. A “Great job Superstar, I knew you could do it!” putting a wide smile on his face.

After walking around for a while, stretching and getting the hang of doing so himself again, Mike sat back down on his bed.

“Right, Fred, if w-we’re gonna do this, we gotta be able t-to switch back-k n’forth without t-trouble.” Mike paused at the new addition to his speech. He’d never stuttered this much before, why now?

“If you are sure.” Freddy said, an encouraging tone behind his words, before he tried pushing forward again. This time was much smoother and Mike didn’t feel quite as detached as he had before. “That was m-much better! Your turn, Michael!”

Mike tried pushing, as he’d done just a few minutes before, pleasantly surprised when he cut to the front with almost no resistance, Freddy taking a step back at the same time. “Wow!”

“That was much easier.” Freddy voiced what they were both thinking. “It appears that this whole situation will be fairly easy to get used to.”

Mike agreed, though not audibly, as some other noise had caught his attention. “What’s that?”

“It sounds like a child is crying.” Freddy informed him, though Mike could hear it fairly well himself now, having gotten up and opened his bedroom door. The cries sound more like quiet screams now that there is one less door in the way.

“That’s Ev.” Mike whispers to Freddy, walking across the hall to his brother’s door. “Why is he screaming like that?”

Freddy didn’t have an answer, but silently urged Mike to find out.

[glasswingowl]

ep 7 spoilers under the cut

oooo snazzy new intro! love it

the fucking for rent banner lmao

OH

NORI MOMENT INCOMING

THE FUCKING SHADOW CLAWS SICK AS HELL

"get 048" awww friends :3

THEY KEEP THEM IN LOCKERS??

uh where did the sentinels go

oh you are so dead dude

OH THIS IS SO COOL

potential nori moment??? that's gotta be nori right??

hehehe crab

n instantly trying to go back for v ;-;

uzi ;-;

"robots like boxes, right?" tessa. bro. not cool.

oh SHIT

bonk

THAD AND LIZZY THAD AND LIZZY THAD AND LIZZY BELIEVERS WIN

v????

"i deserve this" n sweetie no!!!

oh not this again

AAAA-

THE FUCKING POSTERS-

????

OH. IT WAS THEM. THEY DESTROYED EARTH.

wait why didn't tessa mention this earlier? seems kind of important, no?

homegirls been taking flying lessons! good for her!

FUCKING NIGHTCORE????

oh here it comes. time to meet mama, uzi

:O

"you look familiar" uhhh. that's not a good thing

"I'm looking for a hunk named Khan" CONFIRMED NORI EVERYONE STAY CALM

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

oh it's just j. disappointing.

forgot how much i loved lizzy

Khan??

"MY WIFE"

"having interests beyond cannibalism and NIGHTCORE-"

i take back everything bad i ever said about khan he is the best

oh hey tessa's alive- what the fuck is she doing

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALIVE

wait wdym you don't know??

"not sure it needs you, buddy" what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

FNAF JUMPSCARE

YEVAAAAAAA

i'm choosing to believe that yeva is mute until proven otherwise

hand cutting again!! (is that meant to be a parallel to n and uzi? because if so...)

aww- o shit. well that explains that

I love nori. so much

poor doll.

y'know when everyone was coming up with predictions for nori's personality, i don't think anyone really guessed "AN EXACT COPY OF HER DAUGHTER" she even tells people to bite her!

i'm too lazy to copy the get a job stay away from her image just pretend it's here again

OH. OH HE JUST FKICING. well that's one way of picking a side

;-;- oh this is the hand scene wait no

SHIT

"your backups will forgive me" oh so he's just a plaything to her just like he was to tessa. man he just CANNOT catch a break can he

NORIIIIIII!

"you're frickin grounded" nori ma'am i love you

oh this is SICK AS HELL

slap

I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO DAY ABOUT THIS FIGHT SO IM JUST GONNA SCREAM AAAAAAA

THE CAMERA CIRCLING AROUND A CHARACTER DEFENDING THEMSELVES FROM PROJECTILES/ENEMIES IS ALWAYS COOL I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIME I SEE IT

N-

N YOU FUCKIN DUMBASS

solvers hate her! free you daughter from possession by forcing her to confront her relationship with her sort-of boyfriend!

THE FUCKING DELIVERY ON THIS SCENE IM DYING

oh ;-;

wait. WAIT WHAT

OH GOD OH FUCK. YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT.

Y'ALL AREN'T ALLOWED TO LAUGH AT ME FOR MIXING UP TESSA AND CYN THAT ONE TIME ANYMORE.

i can't tell if this is an effective compromise for the whole "wanting to see what tessa looks like vs no visible human characters" debate

still, sick as hell, and very on brand for liam vickers.

OH SHIT-

LMAOOOO-

WHAT THIS? BY GOD, IT'S KHAN, LIZZY AND THAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIRS!

"prior hazard" yeah you'd know wouldn't you

MYSTERY FLESH PIT

OH THIS. THIS FUCKING SCENE

uh.

OH. OH. THIS IS A HALLUCINATION RIGHT-

AND IT ENDS THERE????

[lavender-gayz]

Lizzie the musical and Macbeth

I think it would be fun to talk about some parallels between Lizzie and Macbeth!

“Fire burn and toil / kettle bubble, water boil”, echoing the famous rhyme. Bridget as a weird sister, making tea and planting the seed of murder in Lizzie’s mind.

For Lady Macbeth, King Duncan’s resemblance to her father stops her from murdering him in his sleep; for Lizzie, this…is not an issue.

In WTF Now, Lizzie?!, Emma grapples with a key question arising out of the murders and we get:

“Now I got twice the trouble /  Got two for one!”; multiples of two notably abound in Macbeth, e.g. in “double, double toil and trouble”; “he’s here in double trust”; “all our service / in every point twice done and then done double / were poor and single business”; “these juggling fiends…that palter with us in a double sense” (and of course Emma chants, “what the fuck now, Lizzie?!” 4 x 8 times for a total of 32 times and this is the product of two squared and two cubed.)

“A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight” – Lady Macbeth says these exact words!

Compare Lizzie: “My hands are red but I wear a heart so white” vs Lady Macbeth: “My hands are of your colour [red! they are covered in blood because she’s just been handling the daggers her husband used to murder the king], but I shame / To wear a heart so white” – I read “white” as used by Lizzie as meaning “pure” or “blameless”, but by Lady Macbeth as meaning “pale with fear”.

“Who would have thought the old man [to have] had so much blood in him?” – Lady Macbeth again!!

“What’s done is done but there’s a knocking at the gate” – this is reminiscent of what Lady Macbeth says to her husband (at least) twice: “Things without all remedy / Should be without regard; what’s done, is done”; “give me your hand; what’s done cannot be undone.”

“Gotta clean up the scene, gotta act like we’re normal” – basically the Macbeths’ entire vibe after Duncan’s death.

Lady Macbeth famously struggles with getting a good night’s rest after the murders; Lizzie, of course, sleeps in sweet satisfaction.

[swearingcactus]

Things my boyfriend said about Cyberpunk 2077 pt.2

he's finisehd the game now and has more to say on his way out // pt.1

"I'm maxing out all body-related weapons. I am power. I am strength. Violence is not the way. Violence is the *only* way."

(5 min later) "How do i hack."

(about Johnny fucking everyone in his band to keep morale up) "Well, something's up alright but it ain't the morale."

"Kerry kinda tries hard to get laid doesn't he."

"I am also planning to romance Judy." ("You can't, she's a lesbian") "MEEEEEE"

("male v romance options are panam and kerry. female v romance options are judy and river.") "That's it? Ah. Either I get yolo clan is everything. Or power bottom jean..."

(about Grimes as Lizzy Wizzy) "Lizzy is like, full damn chrome. How am I supposed to make head to toe who she is."

"They were married?" (this is about Grimes and Elon Musk, and unrelated to the game, but I thought this was important to include in this list.)

"You're like V. On a quest. But you finally figure it out when your quest is done." (ow??? this was after a personal work rant at home, but OW????)

"Time to ponpon the arasaka mofos."

"Also got plan b, it got a gazzillion ammo. Not sure if glitch or intended." ("Plan B is not gazzillion ammo, it's unlimited ammo, but bullets cost your money.") "FUKC, WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS GUN. NO WONDER IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE."

("Did you not read the gun description?") "Do I look like I read?"

(about his V's mindset) "A nomad is free to do what the fuck he wants."

"I went through 40+ hours of gameplay and just figured out how to decrypt the files yesterday."

("You're breaking that poor man's heart.") "Yep. Not breaking his ass, just his heart."

"I'm like, an eddionaire."

"Silverdick." (unprompted. on a random Tuesday at 2.21 PM)

[evita-shelby]

Incantatrice

Chapter 18

Cw: some sex, death synbolism, minor infidelity🔞

Gif by @orpheusxx

Taglist:@thegreatdragonfruta @zablife @wandawiccan60

It was quite fun ruining his life.

Taking stock of the things that held him up and kicking each leg of the stool down, so he gets strangled by a noose of his own making.

Jessie Eden had been so horrified when she learned about Elizabeth Stark’s murder.

He needed the communist for his plans to become a politician and to get his companies back in order.

He would fuck her to get her under his spell like he did with the rest and then toss her out when he has no use for her.

Not that he needed to do much after Kitty Jurossi wove beautiful tales of the beautifully sad boy Tommy was.

Oh, it had been beautiful to see her idea of Tommy Shelby be torn to shreds when Eva gave her a strangely plausible lie.

He is not the man he appears to be, Miss Eden, the witch had said as she spun her web of half lies.

The witch shouldn’t have stayed, but she wanted to relish the destruction of Shelby a while longer.

It shouldn’t have surprised her for him to find her and demand to know why she was ruining his fucking life.

He and Polly are not so different, shoving her against a crumbling wall thinking they have what it takes to kill her and faltering in the last minute.

“You ruined mine. We had the perfect life and you just had to kill his father and brother the second we got it, Shelby.

Had you only used your reason, we wouldn’t be here.” She said as the man drunk on pain and whiskey keeps her there as if waiting for a man to shoot him for touching her.

“Yeah, well I had it too.” He said as if he hadn’t felt trapped every second he was with Grace after she told him she wasn’t leaving.

“Then why were you fucking Lizzie before your wife’s body was even cold?” she asks, tasting the alcohol and cigarettes in his breath.

Been a while since she smelled that on Luca, he’d quit smoking when Leonardo was born and their poor little lion would get coughing fits from the smell alone.

Eva remembers with fondness when she’d kiss her man and take the smoke from his mouth like she was stealing his soul kiss by kiss.

She shouldn’t be thinking this, she has a husband who is more than she ever wanted.

But here as the lamplight colors Shelby like a tragic hero and she the wicked witch, she knows in another life this man was hers.

And Shelby knew that too.

Why else would he lean in to kiss the poison on her lips instead of leaving?

Why else isn’t she stopping him?

“You could kill me right now and I would let you.” He said pulling back finding the poison sweet and addicting, just as she did.

“Isn’t it wonderful, in one life I am yours and in this one I am your enemy.” The witch said as he fights the urge to kiss her again and up the ante in this vendetta.

Luca is none the wiser when he returns home.

She feels some guilt over her kiss with Shelby. But not enough to tell him.

Not when he smells of alcohol and Polly Gray’s perfume. There was some lipstick in his collar from where he held his former flame close as he warned her about coming near her again.

“We should go dancing sometime, have the night off and enjoy our new kingdom.” He stripped as he joined her in the bath.

“We should, your poor wife has to settle for ruining a man’s love life for fun.” Eva said, enjoying the sight of her husband in all his nude and scarred glory lowering himself in her steaming hot bath.

“Where the fuck did you get this?” her husband asked as he took the cigarette in her hands and took a drag from it.

She had gotten the urge to smoke and had pilfered Tommy Shelby’s cigarette case when he had been kissing her.

“Shelby, picked it out of his pocket when I saw him leave the communist’s flat with balls as blue as his eyes.” She grinned, showing her the silver case with his initials: TMS, Thomas Michael Shelby. “He looked so pathetic; I just couldn’t help myself to take another of his comforts.”

A nice little trophy to add to her collection.

Luca laughed and gesturing for her to come join him and enjoy her spoils together. “The things you do, mia strega.”

The witch doesn’t hesitate to straddle him, to tease him and remind herself Luca is the only man she wants.

She strokes him and rubs against him as she aches for him to fuck her so hard she won’t even remember she kissed another man.

He rewarded her with a cigarette kiss while she lifted herself up slightly to let him guide his magnificent prick inside her.

The sex was always good, but it’s been a while since they were given the time and space to be as wild as they were before the children came along.

Even Paris hadn’t let them have this much fun.

“I bet Shelby wouldn’t kiss you like that.” He said as she exhaled for him and he kept his grip on her hips tight enough to keep her from moving.

So he knew.

“So you know, huh.” Eva should’ve expected that. Of course he’d have someone keep an eye on her. “Shelby’s got too much bad luck, he even tasted salty. Had to steal his cigarettes to get the taste out of my mouth.”

It is a half-truth, yes she could taste his bad luck in his tongue, but he was damnably good kisser.

No wonder Lizzie Stark had been such a doormat.

“If you see him again, maga,” Luca’s hand moved lower until he found just what he needed to drive his point home and have her forgetting entirely about this other man who stirred her desire like he did, “I’m going to kill him for putting his hands on my woman.”

“Can I watch, daddy? Can I watch you kill him?” she begs as he continued to drive her fucking insane with those pianist’s fingers of his.

“Only right for you to watch, Evuccia, you already gave Thomas Shelby the kiss of death. “ he answered as he dealt her the best punishment in her life.

Eva was out of breath and winded from the combination of her orgasm and seeing their victory as clear as crystal.

“February 5th. The day Thomas Shelby dies by your hand.” Been so long since he triggered a vision like that, she’d almost thought it had been a fluke last time. “Don’t forget to run out of bullets tomorrow. Polly won’t join us if you kill her son.”

Tomorrow wasn’t about killing anyone, all they needed was for Thomas Shelby to lose the person he trusts most and remind Elizabeth Gray, she and her son are either with them or dead.

It will have another purpose too, Linda Shelby will realize her baby son cannot grow up knowing one day someone will come and collect any outstanding debts his father and uncles have.

She will remember how he killed that boy and how he hurts her with those same hands.

Arthur Shelby will return home tomorrow evening and find her long gone.

Who knew karma wanted a piece of them too?

[indecisive-dizzy]

Mmmmm thinking about Howdy Osborn,,,,,,

Idk if he felt any connection to Daisey since the beginning when they first met, or if they spent time together and realized it later on

When the board members tried to kick his father out of their company, Howdy tried to argue to keep his father on. When that didn’t work, he went green goblin and killed them unknowingly

He didn’t feel pity for those people, but freaked the fuck out when the mirror scene happened and he found out it was him doing all this horrible stuff

Frank introduced him to Daisey and gave him the rundown on Daisey’s feelings for Eddie, Eddie and Julie’s “relationship”, and who the popular kids were (the rest of the neighbors)

I think he’s super into technology and creating robots, which is where his suit and his fake butterfly wings come from

He definitely creates upgrades for Daisey’s suits over time, he’s not letting them run around in a suit that won’t hold up in a fight

Daisey/Julie/Howdy is stuck in my head and I can’t get it out :,)

They’re all bisexual and in love

He starts acting colder to his friends and family after becoming the green goblin, mostly using it to become a ruthless businessman to prove he can run the family business

He did everything to try and help Lizzy heal, but the research and any potential cure never ended up working

The only people who call him Howard are his parents, everyone else just calls him Howdy

He got that nickname cause as a kid he used to say Howdy to anyone he met, it was his way of saying hello

Part of me thinks he make little gadgets for Daisey as the time went on

He once tried to help Daisey balance their hero life and human life by making a robot of Misumena, and,,,,,, that went as well as you can imagine

He’s definitely a little intimidating when you first meet him, but he’s a sweetheart once you really get to know him

The Green Goblin really fucked up his relationship with Daisey. He loved them so so much, and he still loves them dearly, but his own actions led to them becoming incredibly hurt and traumatized

Me thinking his dad maybe dies or gets seriously injured which motivates him further

Maybe rides a motorcycle??? Idk yet but someone in this au does

Thinking he maybe becomes an ally,,,, obviously Daisey saves him in the end so I think he tries to help more in the fighting portion of the job just as much as the gadget making portion of the job

I need to make a branch au of this au where Daisey and Howdy didn’t break up and make up later on, they’d be a million times more wholesome then :,)

I love him :3

What a broken man. I love him <3

maybe Howdy Noticed Daisey but didn't really feel the connection until a tad later?

It's one thing not to feel bad when people you hate die, it's another to realize to have an evil alter ego who did it. no wonder he freaked

Frank gave a howdy the di$ney channel high school movie exposition ajdhahdh

oh I like the idea of Frank making tech for Daisey,, ugh that's cool

tfw you accidentally give the love of your life serious trauma,, poor Howdy, and Daisey poor thing went Through It

give Eddie the motorcycle. I swear I've seen MJ with a motorcycle before (the games I think?) also Eddie on a motorcycle just sjhshdha I'm Biased