#post is late bcs it was left in my drafts for some reason

[zoologica42]

happy Tu 'BiShvat, all I want this year is to climb up into a tree and hang out up there like a porcupine and never ever come down ever again :)

[kuroosdarling]

going to be archiving a lot of my fics and cleaning up my masterlists later so i might make a lil tag or post to keep them safe somewhere <3 will add it to my tags soon!

[whoredmode]

I'd be interested to hear some of your post-SRIV ideas, either for antagonists or just plot thoughts/ideas you've not yet shared :)

i wanna hold off on saying anything definitive on antagonists since i’m still not certain yet + i wanna do some more research and development on several things. but i have a long thing i’ve written talking about oleg’s role in the story and his general lore. so in earlier drafts of my backstory for him and his late wife, i did have it written that they had a son who was killed when the rest of the crime family died after oleg left for steelport to find loren. i ended up writing it out tho bc i just wasn’t sure about it, but i’ve been thinking about adding it back as a segue into his conflict post-sriv. i’ve definitely mentioned it before but there is this vague recurring theme of family w oleg specifically (the brutes seeing him as a father figure, the saints arguably becoming a new found family, and a lot of his interactions w the boss definitely come off as the boss seeing him as an older mentor/father figure, always coming to him to ask for advice). so w that in mind, he’s a character i can absolutely see as having been a literal father. it definitely adds even more to the tragedy of his character, which may have been a reason why i’d initially removed the detail about him losing his wife and son.

so how does this come back to post-sriv? the developing plot i have currently involves former members of his old crime family reappearing and him being unsure what to do, or if he can even trust them. originally it was ppl who switched sides before the syndicate fight unbeknownst to oleg, but now i wonder. what if it’s the former friends of his late son (as in the kids of other members of the crime family), just all grown up now. like would you really put it past a group as shady as the syndicate to take these kids in and shape them into assassins for their sake? i’d argue we barely know the ins and outs of the syndicate, the layers and overall organization of the group itself. with that said, if the ppl from his past who returned were ppl he knew when they were very young…..of course he’d feel more willing to trust them? to see them grown up and to think oh my god they survived, knowing everything he lost. but them having become wholly loyal to the syndicate and just trying to manipulate him. hmmm

[cryptids-lobelia-garden]

Lol sorry this is a day late I was honoring the April 1 strike for Palestine and then yesterday my internet was really slow and Tumblr draft edit wouldn’t work

Anyway.

Warnings: idk how these work please lemme know if I need to tag anything else but uh. Manipulative/kinda creepy whumper, a conditioned whumpee and his self destructive/self sacrificial tendencies, caretaker was hurt by whumpee in the past (not in a whump way just in a whumpee tried to destroy the world and caretaker had to stop him way) but he’s grown over the time they’ve been apart and come to understand the whumpee’s actions, uh. This is Pokémon and I’m going with a nuanced take of some of them are sapient and some aren’t and caretaker is very much a Pokémon, also whumpee is a canon character and might act OOC for. Reasons that will hopefully be revealed over the course of this month if I can get this challenge done :D oh also I follow canon VERY loosely bc there’s like three different canons and I’m here to have fun not to police my story writing so uh. Ye

Anyway, there’s also some mind control in there, some frostbite, some.. It’s like a chemical burn sort of, some dissociative panic attack flavored stuff, uh. Animal attack? Oh yeah and dismemberment lol- this one is. A little. Uh. Yeah

Oh and if you see these characters on another account ask that account if it’s me before getting upset bc uh. I have posted abt them on my main before

Anyway. Yeah. Enjoy this, uh. Please don’t judge me I can’t get these freaks out of my head hsjdjdjd

Day 1: Limp

Reunited Arc Part 1

~~~~~

It was supposed to just be a normal day off.

Cheri was headed to Celestic City to meet with a historian, to answer questions about Dialga and the Diamond Clan.

He’s taking the train, since he didn’t feel like walking all that way or making any of his Pokémon carry him.

It was supposed to be a normal day, but he sees a familiar face, and he has to do a double take.

Long blond hair, one eye covered, tied in its usual messy bun in the back. A shining silver eye, which is currently focused on a watch on their own wrist. Cheri would’ve guessed that was Cynthia, but he’s a guy, and he’s wearing a form-fitting black turtleneck tank top, a denim jacket over it.

The modern clothes on him are such a foreign sight.

But there’s no mistaking it.

Volo.

Cheri feels his blood freeze near instantly. A few people step away as the space around him begins to grow cold, a breeze of malice brushing through the air.

Volo hasn’t noticed him yet, and Cheri’s debating between just leaving and confronting the man.

Celestic Town is pretty close to Mount Coronet, but Cheri has prior arrangements. If he decides to go after Volo, he might not make it to the city on time, if at all. And someone guards the mountain now after Cyrus, right? So it’s not like Volo will be able to actually get there.

Unless he takes a path that isn’t through the caves. But even then, Arceus will be fine, they’re a god, it’s fine.

Maybe Cheri should just avoid all this and ride a bike to town. He left himself enough time to, after all.

But the train doors close, making Cheri’s choice for him. He can’t just say nothing.

So he steps forward.

“Hey.”

Volo looks up from his watch, eyes wide. “Hello- I’m sorry, am I in your way?” Who is this? He looks familiar..

Cheri shakes no. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Volo stops, staring at the stranger(?) for a moment. He knows me. Who is this? Usually, when people are angry at me in this time, it’s because they’ve mistaken me for Cynthia. But it seems like this one’s here for ME, not her-

His eyes widen. He goes pale. Takes a step back, his voice quiet enough that only the man in front of him hears it. “Cheri.” The one of the siblings I ESPECIALLY did NOT want to run into.

I don’t have time for this! Not now- of all the times I could have run into him, it had to be this last mission?

He pushes his thoughts aside, putting on a grin and trying to act like everything’s fine.

“Haha, it’s fancy seeing you here! What a coincidence!” I can’t do this right now! I’m on a time limit- this is THE WORST possible timing for this to happen, so of course it does.

“What a coincidence indeed,” Cheri says, voice low, taking another step forward as Volo takes a step back.

Volo’s smiling, that same pleasant grin Cheri remembers from all those years ago. But Cheri knows it’s a lie, can sense the fear coming off the man.

“Why are you headed to Mount Coronet? You and I both know you shouldn’t be there.”

“Listen, I can explain, but I don’t have much time- but I am not here for Arceus.” Cheri doesn’t seem convinced, so he keeps talking. “I’m here to protect Arceus, actually, from someone much worse than I am.”

“Hm. A likely story.” Cheri starts reading his emotions a little more.

“I swear on my life, that’s behind me.” Please, please, please please PLEASE believe me. I know you have every reason not to, after what I’ve done, but please just listen.

Cheri hums, thinking this over for a moment.

He doesn’t sense any lies from the man, strangely enough. He lets his magic push forward a little further, sensing for Volo’s intentions.

He doesn’t sense anything to do with Arceus at all, actually. No lies, no deceit.

Interesting..

Volo shivers as he feels a cold chill brushing through him, though the pleasant mask of a smile stays firmly in place. They reach their stop. I need to get away. He turns on his heel. “Well, I’ll be seeing you around-” Cheri’s hand is on his shoulder, and he tenses, breath catching in his throat. Please have mercy. Whatever you’re about to do, just don’t hurt me too badly.

Cheri’s voice is quiet, his expression grim. “You’re on a suicide mission, aren’t you.”

Shock, surprise. He shakes his head, smile growing strained. “Wh- how did you-” Volo clears his throat, turning back to smile at Cheri. “It doesn’t matter. No matter what happens, whether it’s him who dies or me, the problem will be over. And I’m probably not going to die anyway. Why?”

Cheri frowns, thinking that over for a few moments. Him? I’m assuming that’s who he’s saying he’s protecting Arceus from? If Volo dies, doesn’t that mean the problem isn’t technically over? Because we still have someone out there who’s willing to attack Arceus to further a goal. And if Volo, of all people, thinks this guy could KILL him, with Pokémon as powerful as his.. “..I’m coming with you.”

Why? What does he want out of this? “He is dangerous. You shouldn’t come with, he could kill you, and I am not worth it.” How much does he know? How did he know?

“Well, that’s all the more reason for me to come with.” If this guy really is as much of a threat as Volo says he is, I need to make sure this guy doesn’t get anywhere near the creation quartet. The two step off the train, and Cheri crosses his arms, head tilting to the side. “If you’re telling the truth, it sounds like this guy needs to be taken out.”

Volo looks up at Cheri for a second, opening his mouth to argue, and Cheri ignores his own annoyance, interrupting before Volo starts.

“I’ve fought gods. I’ve fought you. I’m sure I can take this guy out just fine.”

Volo frowns. “You should want me dead, you know-”

“No. Nope.” Cheri pinches the bridge of his nose. “Shut up with that, I’m not gonna listen to you talk about yourself like that.” Because as angry as I am at him for everything..

I can’t bring myself to hate him. Can’t bring myself to hate anyone, really, but ESPECIALLY not him.

We’re the same, after all.

Volo shuts his mouth, keeping the surprise off his face. I betrayed him and his siblings. Am I not just speaking truth? “..okay. ..I’ll explain while we walk, but we need to hurry.” I really am not worth it. But.. I doubt I’ll be able to talk him out of this. He always was stubborn, even more so than his sister at times..

What does he want, coming with me on this? Perhaps he’s just making sure I’m telling the truth about not being after Arceus, but then if he knows how dangerous this mission is..

..What should I tell him? What should I leave out? He needs to know at least some of the situation. Maybe if he knows it’s no real threat to anyone except me, he’ll leave the situation be? He knows I deserve this, after all, was on the receiving end of my worst mistake..

Cheri follows the man, who seems to be lost in thought, and he soon gets lost in his own. Who is “he”..? I could look into his fears and see.. no, that’s too invasive. Even for Volo.

..I really don't know much about him, Hisui was so long ago.. And even back then, he tried to avoid being around me as much as he could. He could tell I didn’t trust him. He hung out with Ana and Keyo much more often. But..

He looks up at Volo. Volo looks back, smiling that pleasant smile again. But it’s tense. Almost strained. Cheri gives as reassuring of a smile as he can, but it only seems to make the guy more tense, so Cheri looks away.

I’m pretty sure that this isn’t like him. He manipulated my siblings and I into helping him collect the Plates, avoiding the dangerous work for himself; it isn’t like him to do something so dangerous like this.

Cheri carefully looks at Volo out of the corner of his eye, studying Volo’s face for a moment. His eyes glow as he looks into Volo’s emotions, grimacing when he feels a wave of anxiety and self hatred and quickly stopping, pulling his magic away.

Whoa..

..He doesn’t feel the same. I don’t feel the sense of untrustworthiness I did back then.

I wish I had a hold on my powers then, because I don’t have any idea how different he truly is, I have no clue if that self hatred was there before, but I know for a FACT the anxiety wasn’t. I can see it even without my abilities.

Volo’s looking around at every face as they walk. It’s hard to notice the nerves behind the pleasant smile, but Cheri can tell from how tense he’s holding his shoulders, a tenseness that didn’t exist back in Hisui.

And his eyes are.. darker, somehow, and his breath hitches every so often as people look at him.

And he looks sick. He has eyebags dark enough they almost look like bruises. He’s pale- even more so than he was back then.

He’s still smiling, but something about the smile is even more fake than it used to be; at least in Hisui, the confidence was real.

What happened to take his confidence?

They’re around less people now, and Volo takes a breath, turning to look at the trail. “So!” Volo claps his hands together with a fake chipper attitude. “The man we’re going after.. His name is Eclipse.”

With the name, Cheri notices fear.

Memories.

He doesn’t look into them, that’s invasive, but he can tell they’re there. That’s not good.

“He’s..” Volo thinks for a moment. “..Not a good man.” Then he points into the air, finger wagging as he talks. “And he’s leading me straight into a trap! And he likely knows that I know that it’s a trap. And he also knows that I’m going to come anyway, whether I know it’s a trap or not. But!” Volo turns to Cheri suddenly, pointing at him with a smile. “If I walk into the trap, he’ll stop everything he’s doing. He only wants me. I mean, he also wants to take revenge on- well, that doesn’t matter, but he’ll stop if I give myself to him.”

“If you what?” Cheri’s staring to get genuinely worried, eyebrows furrowing. “Volo, who is this guy?”

“Someone who gave me what I deserve,” Volo says quickly, then he shakes his head. “It really doesn’t matter. Go home, this doesn’t concern you.”

“Arceus is part of it, and you are too, so uh. Yeah. It does concern me, actually.” Damnit, that wasn’t supposed to sound so pointed. I’m WORRIED, about HIM, not about Arceus.

Volo shakes his head. “Really, it’s fine. I’m not here to do anything to Arceus. No plates, no flute, you can check my bag if you want. I’m just here for Eclipse. I’m here to try to take him down, and if that doesn’t work, well.. The problem will be gone either way!”

There’s a sour taste in Cheri’s mouth. Something’s very, very wrong here. “So, what, you’re just gonna let this guy take you and do Arceus knows what?”

“It’s deserved.” Volo smiles at him again, though it’s more strained and looks much more like he’s pleading. “Please, just leave, this is not worth your safety.”

“Nope. No, not happening. I’m coming with you whether you like it or not, you’re not gonna talk me out of it now.” This whole situation.. Whatever’s going on, it really seems like it’s MUCH worse than he deserved. Prison maybe, I could see that. Maybe getting grabbed by a time traveler who could teach him about exactly why what he did was dangerous.

But something tells me someone went way too far.

Volo’s smile grows more strained. “..I was afraid of that,” he murmurs, then he shakes his head. “Well. Hm. ..okay. I.. suppose this might be a good thing. He probably thinks that I’m not coming with backup- I wasn’t planning to, so.” Volo shakes his head, smile fading entirely as he turns back to the trail up Mount Coronet. “Anyway.. He has been collecting legendary and mythical Pokémon from different times and places. We’re not sure what all he has- we know for sure he has Regiice, Azelf, and possibly the other two lake spirits, as well as the Red Chain.”

Who is “we”?? Wait. SHIT. Cheri’s neck snaps he turns to Volo so fast. “He has the red chain?”

Volo, fairly used to ghost-type shenanigans, barely bats an eye. He just nods, a grim look on his face. “And he’s going after Arceus with it.”

“That’s.. not good.” Cheri turns back to the trail, frowning down at it and kicking a few pebbles forward. “But if he takes you, the problem’s over? Why?”

Volo thinks for a moment. “He’s.. very angry with me, and it’s me specifically that he’s after, despite the situation,” he says. Cheri can tell Volo’s verbally stepping around details, so he stays quiet, waiting for Volo to explain. “..I caused him to lose everything he had.”

“..with the rift, or..?”

“Oh, no, not like that.” Volo quickly shakes his head, hands waving. “No, he just..” Volo grimaces, looking away, what Cheri would have been able to see of his face hidden behind his hair. “He.. Well. He did some pretty bad things to me. Which! That was deserved, really, you know I deserved them.” Cheri grimaces. He keeps saying that it’s deserved.. it’s putting a bad taste in my mouth. Before Cheri can say anything, Volo keeps talking. “But when Management saw what he did, they kicked him from-” He shakes his head. “You know, I actually don’t think I’m supposed to talk about that. Forget I said anything about Management.”

“Okay.” So, he was in some secret club or something, and this Eclipse guy hurt him and got kicked out over it. “..the hell you mean ‘it’s deserved’? What did he do?”

Volo’s lips press into a thin line for a moment, then he glances at his watch. “Oh, look at the time!” Volo grimaces as he looks at the cave through the mountain. “We should hurry, let’s leave the path and just climb it, this cave system must be new; I am unfamiliar with it.”

Okay, he’s avoiding the question. Cheri frowns, ignoring the annoyance stewing in his gut and following Volo off the path. Then Eclipse must have done something pretty bad.

Or maybe he’s just a very private person. He avoided questions a lot back in Hisui.

Then again, in Hisui, he had a lot of things to hide.

..What is this club he was in? Some sort of evil team? But if it is, why would they have sent him to PROTECT Arceus from this Eclipse guy?

Given our past, I’d think he was lying if I couldn’t tell. He is so incredibly lucky I have the ability to tell.

“..so. He’s got a bunch of legendaries. Why are they with him?”

“They’re not with him willingly,” Volo explains, finding a good spot on a cliffside to start climbing. “He has this device, it’s from the future- Ah! Did I mention he’s from the future? Anyway, he has this device, which is controlling them through technologically created psychic power. They don’t want this, so we need to try to avoid hurting them, so the hoppers can bring them home- they’re from different times, he’s been jumping through time to take them.”

Cheri blinks a few times, head tilting to the side in confusion. “Hoppers?? Jumping through time???” Holy shit, wait, was I accidentally right about a time traveler grabbing him?

I guess it makes sense how he’s here then.

“It’s a very long story.” One I am probably not allowed to tell you. Well.. I might be able to, considering the fact that technically, you’re a time traveler. One chosen by Arceus, no less. But.. I don’t want to drag you into this mess. Not any more than I already have, anyway. Volo shakes his head. “Anyway, we’re not sure what exactly he’s controlling them through, but we believe it’s his bracelet.”

“Gotcha.” Cheri frowns. “So, don’t hurt the legendaries, break his bracelet.”

“Exactly.” Getting to the top of the cliffside, Volo turns around to pull Cheri up, though Cheri waves him off, he doesn’t need the help. “And try not to get hurt yourself.”

Cheri nods, smirking. “Thanks, Sherlock.”

Volo blinks a few times in confusion. “..Sherlock..?”

“It’s a reference- there’s this book-” Cheri shakes his head. “Nevermind.” Noticing a sneasel sneaking up on him, he snarls at it, letting an illusion lash towards it. It squeaks in fear, running off. “Sorry, can’t risk it with dark types.”

“No, that’s fine.” I already knew he wasn’t human anyway, though it’s interesting to see him actually use his abilities.

However, it IS a little frightening.

Was that meant to be a show of power, or was he genuinely just scaring it off?

What exactly does he want with me?

Volo turns, and they keep walking, an uncomfortable silence falling between the two.

“..you know.. I have time.”

Volo looks over at him in confusion.

“For a long story I mean.”

“This isn’t one you want to hear,” Volo quickly says. Please don’t ask again.

Luckily for Volo, Cheri just looks at him for a moment, almost seeming to study him. Volo shudders at the way Cheri seems to be staring straight into his soul.

Then Cheri nods, turning to the next cliffside to climb in silence.

Volo watches him for a moment longer before turning back to climb. ..He doesn’t trust me. I can tell. He might never trust me again, and honestly, that would be warranted.

It’s really unfortunate timing, that this has happened now, of all times. Right now, when I’m doing something important. One last thing before there’s nothing left for me to do, nothing left that I can fix.

..I suppose if I survive this, I can let him and his siblings decide my fate afterwards. Those three were the ones most directly affected by my actions.. Then they’ll get the final decision, if it isn’t made here.

..for now, though.. I can, at the very least, try to give him closure.

“..I.. want to apologize,” Volo mutters.

Cheri turns to look at him, subconsciously checking his intentions, and oh, this is a genuine apology. “Hm?”

“For.. Not only the rift, and pulling you and your siblings from your home, but also for betraying the three of you. ..I hope you know it wasn’t just.. It wasn’t all just manipulation. You three were some of the few people I could genuinely consider friends, had I not been holding you all at arms length.” I might as well be genuine. Maybe in return, he’ll do the same..

No. I shouldn’t hope, I don’t get to hope, but..

It would be nice, if it was something I deserved.

Cheri blinks a few times as he feels the sincerity. Interesting.. “..They’re going to want apologies too, you know. ..thanks, by the way, that.. actually means a lot.” He looks up the mountain, thinking for a moment. “..You really have changed, haven’t you.”

Volo hums, making a so-so gesture. “I’d like to think so.”

“..I forgive you, you know.” Cheri shakes his head. “Honestly, I did a long time ago. What you did was fucked up, don’t get me wrong, and a LOT of people got hurt that shouldn’t have. But.. I dunno.” He shakes his head. “..I can understand your reasoning.” What I learned about him, about his people..

Volo stops, looking over at Cheri with confusion. He forgives me..? Why? It doesn’t make sense to me. What does he have to gain? I don’t know if I should trust this, that might be exactly what he’s aiming for. “Really?” Volo looks up to meet Cheri’s eyes.

Confusion, a hint of fear, and Cheri realizes he should explain. “I wouldn’t ever do the same thing you did, don’t get me wrong. But the world really is full of unnecessary suffering.” Cheri shakes his head. “And.. if I’m right about where you came from, you’ve dealt with a lot of it, right?”

How much does he know about me? And how does he know it? Why does he know it?

Volo doesn’t let his uneasiness show on his face, humming noncommittally. “It doesn’t excuse my actions. I ended up bringing harm to a lot of people.” I don’t deserve forgiveness. “..Thank you, though,” he murmurs.

Cheri studies him for a moment. So, the self loathing is probably from the rift and everything surrounding it, at least partially.. Not sure what the uneasiness is about, but he doesn’t like something about me. It might just be the whole zoroark thing, but it’s been growing, so maybe it’s something I’ve been saying or something? “Don’t mention it.” He looks up, getting to the top of the cliff they’re climbing and offering a hand to pull Volo up, which Volo takes.

They’re about halfway up the mountain now. The air’s growing colder- though Cheri can’t really feel the cold himself, Volo’s pulling his clothes a little tighter around himself.

..conversation topic.. Oh, the plan. “So.. About this Eclipse guy..”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Volo says quickly.

“No, I wasn’t asking what he did, don’t worry.” I don’t want to push him too much, he’s wary. “I just want to know, he’s trying to kill you, right? Do you want him alive, or? If you’re, uh.. taking him out, what’re we doing with him after? What’s the plan?”

“You don’t have to worry about that, he’ll be taken care of either way, and.. alive would be preferred, but if he dies, I.. don’t really care.” Maybe that’s a little harsh.. Well. Maybe I’m allowed to be a little harsh. Volo shakes his head. “However, I would like to be able to capture him and bring him in. I.. have some questions that I want to ask him, with prison bars separating him from me, of course.”

Cheri hums, studying Volo’s expression for a moment, sensing the emotions behind it. Is that.. Pain? Exhaustion?

Concern? ..Overthinking, maybe..?

“..What sorts of questions?”

Volo shakes his head. “..I just.. hm.”

I don’t know how to word this. I want to know why he did it. I want to know why, out of EVERYONE he could have chosen, every timespace criminal he had access to, he chose ME to hurt.

“..I want closure.”

Cheri hums, looking away. “..He might not give you that. Talking to him might make it worse, you know.”

Volo turns to Cheri with a glare, hissing “You know nothing about him, or my situation.”

Cheri’s a little surprised by the sudden anger in the air, though it’s understandable, he doesn’t blame Volo for it. After a moment of thought, trying to figure out what to say, he shrugs. “I might know next to nothing about the situation, but I know trauma when I see it.” He glances over at Volo, letting his eyes flash, a subtle reminder of his abilities. “He hurt you, yeah? On purpose, I’m guessing.”

..Just how much does he know..? And what is he trying to get out of knowing this about me?

He’s right, and it scares me. Does he know because of an ability? Did he look into my fears? Or did he figure it out on his own?

Volo turns away, the silence giving Cheri all the answer he needs.

Shit. It seems like trying to bridge the gap is just making things worse.. Honestly, I should’ve expected this, got too personal too fast.

Well. There’s no point in dropping the conversation at this point. He can try to make me leave, but it’s not gonna work, I need to make sure this Eclipse guy doesn’t fuck with Arceus. And besides..

I’m worried. About Volo, of all people. That’s saying something. “..And he’s trying to kill you even now.. I doubt he’ll give you closure.” Cheri turns away, frowning. “If anything, talking to him might make things worse.” It made it worse when I talked to Keyo’s bio parents, after all. Dickheads will be dickheads, it’ll always hurt to talk to em.

“Perhaps.” Volo shakes his head. My pain shouldn’t matter to you. You can’t actually care, especially not with everything I’ve done to you, so..

It must matter to you because you want me hurt.

“..Let’s talk about something else, shall we?” And if you do somehow care, you shouldn’t get attached to me anyway, you shouldn’t get attached to someone who deserves a bad fate. It’ll only hurt you.

“Hm.” ..yeah. He’s probably done talking now. Cheri looks up the mountain, squinting as the sun hits his eyes. “..Not much further now.”

Volo nods, checking his watch. “The readings said he will appear in the cave that leads to Cloudcap Pass.”

“Alright. So we get to the pass, then go to the cave from there?”

Volo nods. “And then we’ll wait until he arrives.”

“Right.”

They climb in silence until they reach the top, coming out near the destroyed temple. Cheri takes a deep breath, taking in the air.

This place feels as holy as it always did, the presence of the gods closer here than it is anywhere else in the region, and he feels the power of Arceus’s blessing within him shift.

They’re watching.

Volo glances over at the spear pillar, an unreadable expression on his face, and Cheri senses a spike of guilt. Then he turns away from it, wordlessly heading to the cave, a grim determination filling his gut as he lets his Pokémon out.

Cheri lets his own Pokémon out too. He hadn’t been expecting a battle today, but most of his Pokémon are pretty strong anyway, so it should be fine. He’s got Sprigs with him, and Sprigs doesn’t fight, so he was left in his ball. But Cheri has a few with him that do fight, some of the ones that he hasn’t spent much time with recently. Hydra, Eelectra, Zigzag, Tiktok, and Sylvie- his hydreigon, eelektross, linoone, galvantula, and sylveon, respectively- all can fight. And in the worst case scenario, he can fight too.

Recognition. Feeling a pulse of emotional energy towards him, he turns to look at Volo’s Lucario, who’s staring at him with confusion and a little bit of fear. Cheri takes a breath, summoning up feelings of forgiveness, knowing the other Pokémon can read them. After a moment, the Lucario nods, pushing another feeling towards him. Friendliness, a gesture of goodwill. That is SO much better than what I got from his trainer. Cheri smiles, letting the feeling rise in his chest and sending it back, then he looks over at Volo.

Volo looks normal on the outside, but Cheri can tell he’s terrified, can feel the feeling seeping off him even without reaching towards him with his abilities.

“Hey,” Cheri says, resting a hand on Volo’s shoulder.

He nearly pulls away when Volo flinches, but then Volo leans slightly into the kind touch, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He’s touching me. Why is he touching me. I..

Why am I.. not all that scared of it..?

“I’ve got your back. You’re gonna be okay,” Cheri mutters. If you’re gonna die, he’s gotta get through me first.

Volo stares at him for a moment, then nods, his smile becoming a bit more genuine, though there’s sadness in his eyes. Oh. This is genuine kindness?

I should have expected it from Arceus’s chosen.

..I really don’t deserve this. You shouldn’t get attached to me. He opens his mouth to speak, but then his watch starts to blare, an alarm that he quickly moves to silence, expression hardening. “He’s coming,” Volo says, pressing a button on his watch. A hologram pops up, indicating a specific location, and Volo turns it off and takes a step away from there, staring at it, getting low to the ground, ready to dodge at a moment’s notice. Okay. I can do this. All I need is to last long enough to break that bracelet. His Pokémon quickly surround him, protective. Cheri motions for his own to do the same, and they quickly get into battle-ready stances.

The group stands in silence, staring at the spot, waiting with bated breath.

And then a portal opens, and Volo’s garchomp snarls, dashing forward.

“Ah- Shark, wait-!”

But it’s too late. Shark is thrown into the nearest wall, a Mewtwo holding him there. He snarls, kicking at the walls, the ground, trying to escape the psychic grasp, but it’s no use. Should I recall him and let him back out? I don’t know if that would work, don’t know if I could move quickly enough-

“Well, hello there,” someone says.

The voice is unfamiliar to Cheri.

But Volo stiffens even further.

Goosebumps rise on his arms.

Cheri can feel the fear seeping off him as he turns to stare into the portal.

The strange man steps forwards, grinning. “That’s not the friendliest welcome.”

“Eclipse,” Volo mutters, shrinking back. Shrinking back.

What the hell did he do, to make Volo react like that? Cheri looks over to Eclipse, taking in the high-tech bracelets on his arms, the look in his eyes.

He’s immediately hit with the man’s aura as he reaches his powers out, a sense of complete malice washing over him, and his eyes narrow as he braces himself against it, subconsciously baring his teeth.

“I can’t let you near Arceus,” Volo says, taking a step forward despite his fear, his Pokémon moving with him.

Eclipse waves his right hand, and a few more legendaries appear.

Volo stops moving forward. The whole cave is at a standstill.

Cheri notices strange yellow wires around the legendaries’ forms, feels psychic energy coming off of them, and then his eyes narrow as he notices a small yellow bracelet on Eclipse’s wrist. It’s barely noticeable, but it matches the wires. That must be the one.

“You know what I want,” Eclipse says. Volo’s Pokémon growl, protectively moving between the two. “All you need to do is come quietly, and all this can end. You know you deserve what’ll happen to you. It’ll save the world, even; it’ll finally redeem you, to prevent the same thing you did from happening again.”

And his grin widens, the malice surrounding im grows stronger.

“Don’t you want that?”

The manipulation leaves a bad taste in Cheri’s mouth, but he looks over at Volo, waiting to see how the interaction plays out.

“..I..” I do deserve it, but I still have my Pokémon to take care of. I don’t want to leave them behind, but if this doesn’t work, if I attack him and it ends up being for nothing, will he hurt them as retaliation for my actions?

..If I just go with, I won’t have to worry. They will be at least a little safer. The land may be different in this time, but it’s still their home region, and I trust they’ll be able to take care of themselves if needed, but..

“Are you going to return the legendaries to where you got them if I do?”

Volo’s pokemon make sounds of protests, but he holds up a hand to keep them quiet.

“Of course. I only needed them for this, after all.”

Okay. Fuck this. Cheri steps forward suddenly. “He isn’t going anywhere with you,” Cheri spits, moving between the two himself.

“And who are you? His new toy?” Eclipse sneers. “He’ll only betray you, you know; he’s betrayed everyone he’s ever gotten close to. He’ll manipulate you and then throw you aside, like he always has.”

Cheri feels the way Volo shrinks back, feels the guilt pooling off the man, and he snarls. Gods. Why does every powerful man I meet have to be SUCH a DICK? “Shut the fuck up. You think I don’t know the risks? I���m one of the guys he betrayed, and you’re still wrong for treating him like this.”

Eclipse raises an eyebrow, a spark of curiosity in his eye. “Oh really?” He tilts his head to the side. “Haven’t you noticed he’s better now? Haven’t you noticed he’s not going to try anything anymore? That change is because of me. Really, the world is better off with him in my hands-”

Cheri rushes forward. He’s reaching for the bracelet on Eclipse’s wrist, aiming to break it, and the other Pokémon in the cave rush forwards with him.

Within seconds, Mewtwo flings a bunch of their Pokémon out of the cave. Zigzag, Hydra, and Volo’s Spiritomb are frozen in a huge block of ice that Cheri narrowly avoids himself. Galarian Moltres flies past him as he dodges another blast of ice. There’s something glowing electric blue over there, but Cherry doesn’t see what it is before another ice blast blocks his vision.

Cheri can’t see Volo, but he knows Volo has Sylvie and his lucario with him, so he focuses on dodging Regiice’s attacks. With an angry scream, fire blasts from his throat, knocking Regiice out cold. One last blast of ice manages to catch his arm, and Cheri yelps as frostbite sets in-

Volo screams, a sound that reeks of agony, a bloodcurdling sound that makes Cheri’s heart drop, and he turns to Eclipse, letting his true form show, ten feet of pure protective rage aiming for Eclipse’s wrist-

Mesprit. Blast of emotion. Panic.

Frenzy.

Magic rushing in his ears. Time blurring together. Screaming, sounds so far away.

Blood flying through the air. An arm, mangled human arm, on the ground, blood pooling, blood in his mouth, between his teeth, on his hands, broken bracelet, mutilated flesh.

He tries to breathe. Everything sounds underwater, the world spinning, spinning, out of his control.

Out of control.

Out of control.

Out of control, he’s out of control-

Ribbon around his arm. A sense of calm pushes the panic away. He’s left on the ground, gasping, catching his breath, residual shakes leaving him exhausted, shifting back to his human form on instinct.

He looks up after a few moments, looking up at Sylvie, who’s staring at him with wide, terrified eyes.

“h.. Hey, buddy,” Cheri murmurs, gently scratching the top of Sylvie’s head. “You okay?”

Sylvie makes a sound, butting his head against Cheri’s chest before pulling away and dashing around the chunk of ice.

Cheri recalls the Pokémon who are still stuck in the ice, then stands on shaky legs, hurrying after Sylvie- Oh no.

Volo’s on the ground.

Cheri can’t tell if he’s conscious or not.

He rushes to Volo’s side, his uninjured hand hovering over the man, trying to figure out what’s wrong-

“Cheri,” a weak voice, and Cheri looks up at Volo’s face.

Contorted with agony. He reaches out with his magic to see where the pain is, burning blasts through his side. He pulls back.

“Is- is he gone?” Volo asks.

“Yeah, I- I think I got him, I think he’s gone,” Cheri mutters, rolling Volo over despite Volo’s cry of pain.

His shirt’s stained black in a large spot on his side. Cherry pulls it up to see a huge burn. It’s.. odd, though, it’s not a normal burn. The area around is stained black, but it isn’t charred, nothing is charred. It almost looks more like a poison than anything.

Cheri can feel the dark-type energy coming off it, sapping his own energy, and he takes a shaking breath through his mouth, trying to will away the feeling as he scoops Volo up. Volo lets out a pained sound at being moved. “Sorry,” Cheri mutters with a grimace, trying to ignore how hard it is to move his hand, how numb his arm is. Once he’s sure Volo is securely in his arms despite that, he gets Volo’s Spiritomb in its ball, then runs out of the cave.

“‘S fine, deserved,” Volo mutters, eyes slipping shut as he leans into Cheri. Cheri takes Volo’s pokeballs and recalls the injured Pokémon he finds scattered around the outside of the cave. “Can.. can you take care of them for me..?”

It’s all Cheri can do to not scream, shakes running through his entire body. “Shut up. Don’t do this shit, you’re not dying on me.” I came here to protect you, and by Arceus, I’m gonna do it.

Volo laughs, an exhausted, mirthless sound, even as a tear slips down his cheek. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s okay. I deserve this. It’s okay.”

“Shut up!” Shit, I’m being a little harsh. Gods. Fuck. “Sorry, actually, don’t shut up. But stop that. You don’t deserve it.” As he talks, Cheri quickly recalls the rest of their pokemon, then he gets back to running down the mountain, not even bothering going through the caves, he knows where he’s going. He shifts back to his true form so he can jump down cliffs and land it, jumping over tree roots and fallen logs, trying his best not to jostle Volo too much.

Volo’s taking shuddering breaths, silent tears slipping down his cheeks, but he doesn’t complain at all. Self hatred, agony, and a sense of utter hopelessness is coming off of him, all of it is mixed with acceptance.

He genuinely believes he deserves this, Cheri realizes, a sick feeling building in his gut. Fucking hell.

“Why’re you doing this?” Volo murmurs, looking up into Cheri’s eyes. “You can’t seriously want to help me. What’s your motive? ”

“Is it so hard to believe I could genuinely like helping people?” Cheri spits.

He was aware of the way his voice echoes in this form, but Volo flinches at the sound.

And it reminds him that, yes, it is.

He isn’t human, after all. He isn’t even living.

He’s a vengeful spirit.

And sure, he chooses not to indulge that side of himself.

But how is Volo supposed to know that?

“Sorry, sorry,” Volo murmurs, breath hitching slightly as Cheri jumps down a cliff. Blood starts to drip down his side, and Cheri internally curses.

“It’s fine,” Cheri says, setting Volo down and tearing off pieces of his own shirt to start packing the wound and make a quick makeshift bandage. “Talk about something, anything, just.. Just keep talking.”

Volo winces in pain. “..You know the Pokémon that got me? Galarian Moltres?” He looks away, eyes unfocused. “Some say it burns your very spirit away.” He laughs, though the laugh turns into coughs. “I must be very lucky that mine’s still intact, ahaha- Ow!”

“Sorry.” Having tied the makeshift bandage tight, he quickly scoops Volo back up. “What else about galarian Moltres do you know? Any interesting legends? Anything?”

“G-galar was never really my focus,” he mutters, taking a few steadying breaths- they’re shallow, it hurts him to breathe. “I’m just..” He lets out a quiet wheeze, resting his head against Cheri’s shoulder.

There’s exhaustion radiating off him, Cheri realizes, and Cheri gets running again.

“Don’t go to sleep, I don’t know what happens if you do,” he mutters.

“Mmh..” Volo shakes his head. “Trying..”

“Good. Keep talking.” Cheri takes a shaky breath. “What about normal Moltres? Any cool legends?”

“..they’ll dive into volcanoes to heal themselves,” Volo mumbles. “And they.. bring an early spring, to cold places..” His eyes slip closed.

Cheri nods. “You know the Indigo League Flame is said to have been lit with their flames?”

“Oh yeah.. I.. I remember that.. s.. Sorry, I can’t..” Volo goes limp in his arms.

“Hey, Volo, keep talking! Volo!!” Not sensing anything from the guy at all, Cheri grimaces. “SHIT!!!” Cheri moves faster, shifting back as they get to the bottom of the mountain, not wanting to be seen by anyone who doesn’t already know in any form outside of a human one.

shit shit Shit SHIT SHIT!!! Cheri bursts out of the trees, running into Eterna City, dodging around people as he heads to the nearest hospital.

He rushes into the emergency room. “We need a doctor, now!” It comes out louder than he meant it, almost echoing, though for some reason, it’s hard to hear himself anyway.

Everything feels so far away as the emergency room suddenly turns into a rush, a stretcher coming out to take Volo away. People ask what happened, and he explains as best as he can, telling them Volo got hit with a powerful dark-type attack that sapped his energy, leaving out the legendaries and the reason for the blood staining his hands and teeth.

He.. doesn’t entirely know why that’s there. He has a faint idea, but he blocks that out on purpose.

He can process that later, he can process that he probably killed a man another day.

The doctors are concerned about it, though, so he tells them it’s from the one who attacked the two of them, and they accept that answer, bringing him back soon after for his frostbitten arm.

Time seems to stretch to forever as his injury is treated, but when he’s finally left alone, allowed to leave, it feels like no time’s passed at all. He leaves the hospital, heading straight for the Pokémon center to drop off his and Volo’s Pokémon.

Relax. Just breathe, Cheri. Just relax.

Breathe.

He takes deep breaths as he walks, wrapping his arms around himself and closing his eyes, sensing people’s feelings to determine where they are so he can avoid them.

Thankfully, he makes it to the Pokémon center without an issue, setting down the pokeballs on the nurse’s desk.

“Those six are unregistered, he- he made their balls himself,” he explains, trying to ignore the shake in his voice.

The nurse scans the pokeballs. “They look registered to me..”

Sure enough, they are registered, under a Volo Discere.

“Huh.. interesting,” Cheri mutters. Did he always have a last name? I know Volo means to want. What’s Discere..? “Okay, nevermind, then. Um- I’ve gotta go, he’s hurt. Can you take care of them while I’m gone?”

“Of course, but- Wait-!” She looks up in worry as he leaves, but he doesn’t have time to chat, making his way back to the hospital.

I need to see if he’s okay.

He heads to the nearest waiting room. Someone passes by in the hall, he recognizes her as the nurse who treated him.

“Hey!” He rushes over, catching her attention. “Volo, uh, Discere- is he okay?”

“Huh? Are.. you asking about the one you came in with?” She gives a weirdly strained smile. “They’re still fixing him up, but it’s looking like he’ll pull through.”

“Okay.. okay.” Cheri lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

She nods, rushing off, and he finally lets himself relax.

Okay.

Okay, we’re okay.

Not sure what she was freaking out about, but it should be fine..

..they’ll come to me if anything happens with him, right..? I’m probably not on his emergency contacts- he probably doesn’t have those, actually- but I AM the one who brought him here..

WOULD he have emergency contacts?? His Pokémon are registered, so maybe???

Cheri sighs, sitting in one of the chairs, leaning back with his hands clasped together behind his head. He lets his eyes slip closed, taking a few deep breaths.

Whatever the case, if he needs me, if he asks for me, I’ll be here.

After a few moments, the exhaustion of the day catches up to him.

And finally, he slips into sleep, all his day’s plans forgotten.

[acacia-may]

Let Them See (Finral x Vanessa Fic)

While guests at the Heart Kingdom's royal wedding, Finral (drunkenly) takes a big step in his relationship with Vanessa.

Relationships: Finral Roulacase/Vanessa Enoteca, Charmy & Finral Friendship, and Charmy & Vanessa Friendship. Briefly Mentions Gadjah/Lolopetchka (because it's their wedding) and Langris/Finesse (in one line)

Genre: Romance, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing (there's a lot of drinking here), Secret Relationship, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Slice of Life, & Charmy being snarky (even though I can guarantee she doesn't want to be here)

Rated: T for drinking and descriptive kissing

Word Count: 2516

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, Black Clover fandom friends! I know I haven't been writing much BC lately, but I've had this story in my drafts forever as part of a massive work I'm not sure will ever get finished (sadly) so I've decided to post this "chapter" as a standalone for Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy it. Many thanks to @delirious-donna who proofread this way, way back in the day, and a big thank you to anyone who reads this! I really appreciate your support! Cheers! 💕

Link to Work on AO3. Full Text Below the Cut. Thank you for reading!

“Care to dance?”

Vanessa could barely hear the groomsman over the loud music and excited chattering of the wedding reception, but she caught on well enough as he held out his hand to her. Usually, she would have found this kind of attention flattering, but in this particular case, she had been trying to keep a low profile and being continually asked to dance was making it difficult.

She sighed and shot Finral a glance across the table. “Well…actually…”

“It’s fine,” Finral mouthed at her with a wave of his hand.

“You don’t mind?” she asked confusedly. While they hadn’t being seeing each other for very long and hadn’t told anyone about the relationship, Vanessa still wasn’t sure that Finral would be comfortable with her being whisked away by other men while she was technically here with him—even if no one knew that except them. Perhaps, he was thinking that they weren’t entirely exclusive yet or that it would be suspicious if she kept declining when she was asked to dance.  

Whatever his reasoning, Finral shrugged and reassured her “No, go ahead—you should dance if you want.”

With a slight shrug of her shoulders, Vanessa was soon led to the dance floor by the groomsman, and Finral returned to his drink. She glanced over at him periodically as several other men cut in and pulled her away from the man who had originally asked her to dance—offering her their hands and several delicious cocktails which, if she was being honest, she enjoyed much more than their company. By the time her squad mates interjected and whisked her off to dance with them instead, she had lost sight of Finral in the crowd of celebrating wedding guests.

“Have you seen Finral?” she asked Magna, but he merely shrugged with a slight shake of his head.

“At the bar maybe…?” he suggested before Charmy interrupted in between forkfuls of dessert.

“Maybe he’s getting cake—it’s delicious! You should go get some.”

Vanessa excused herself to—as far as her squad mates were concerned—follow Charmy’s advice not to go looking for her pseudo-secret-boyfriend. She rubbed her hand across her forehead at the thought. How drunk was she that she was suddenly thinking of Finral as her boyfriend? Or perhaps it was entirely the opposite, and it was a part of her that was still a little too sober that wanted to label their relationship…

Vanessa pushed the thought away, but her head was already spinning. Just in case it was in fact the uncharacteristic sobriety, she downed the drink in her hand and stopped by her table to pick up the shot of tequila she had left there—at least she hoped that was her table... Stumbling a little, she made her way to the bar where she found Finral leaning on the counter surrounded by empty glasses with various decorative straws and umbrellas.

“There you are,” she said taking a seat next to him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Finral shrugged before taking another swig of his drink as Vanessa hailed the bartender to order whatever he was having. “Taking full advantage of the open bar, I see…” she teased.

“You seem to be having lots of fun yourself—you’ve danced with practically every guy here…”

“Except you,” she answered before she gave him a playful scolding. “You haven’t asked me to dance all night…”

“Haven’t you danced enough with everybody else?” sighed Finral tilting his glass and watching the red and orange swirls tumbling in the otherwise clear liquid.

“Listen, I only did that because you said it was alright.” Vanessa picked up the drink the bartender had left for her on the counter and took a swig before she tilted her head pointedly at him. “You’re the one who basically snubbed me…”

Finral rolled his eyes before he downed the rest of his drink waving at the bartender for another. “You wouldn’t be able to tell that with the way all those men were falling all over themselves just to talk to you. They’d still be trying to dance with you or getting you drinks if Luck hadn’t threatened to fight them all.”

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous…” A slight smile spread across her lips as she tilted her head and snaked her arm around his back.

“No, I’m not the jealous type,” he answered with a sigh as he picked up his next drink. “But…but that doesn’t mean…” He stopped—his slurring voice trailing as he stared down at his hands. He bit his lip. “Can I ask you something?”

Vanessa’s brow furrowed, but she answered, “Sure.”

Finral sighed but wouldn’t—possibly couldn’t—meet her eyes. “Are you…embarrassed to be with me?”

Vanessa hands seemed to move on their own as she reached out and pressed her palm to his cheek, tilting his face up at her. “What? Of course not. Why would you think that?”  

“Well we haven’t told anyone that we’re—you know…”—the volume of his voice dropped—“kind of a thing now…It’s like this big secret…which yeah, has been kind of fun but I don’t know… seeing you with all those men tonight—they’re so much stronger and more charming, more handsome, and all around better than I am…” He paused and shrugged his shoulders. “I just wondered if…maybe you didn’t want people thinking you settled…”

“Finral, that’s not how I feel at all…” Vanessa smiled slightly, sympathetically. “We both agreed it would be best not to tell anyone at first—in case it didn’t work out, remember? It would just make things awkward… Our friends would never let us live it down, and we would’ve had to sit through the Captain’s lecture on the ‘one rule’ for nothing.” Vanessa chuckled lightly and winked at him in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Considering we’re probably the reason he made that ‘no babies on the squad’ rule in the first place, I’m sure he’d have a lot to say…”

Finral’s slight twitch of smile quickly faded. “Do you really think we’re going to break up…?”

“Are we together?” she asked though she was unsure if it was all the alcohol or her curiosity getting the best of her that caused her to be so blunt.

Flushing, Finral swallowed hard. “I…I like to think we are, but—”

“Well in that case,” Vanessa cut him off—unable to hold back the smile that tugged at her lips. “I’d say it’s still pretty early in the relationship to say what could happen.” She sighed with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “We could still end up breaking it off... Not everything lasts forever, right?”

“I like to think some things do...I mean look at Gadjah and Lolopechka—they’re perfect for each other. They’re probably going to grow old together and die holding hands.”

“Lovely sentiment for their wedding,” quipped Vanessa before she took a sip of her own drink.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way…” Finral sighed. “There’s something really beautiful about it, I think.” His face softened, and he had an almost wistful look in his eyes as he continued, “You can just tell how much they love each other. I’ve never been to a wedding like this before. Most noble marriages are arranged so weddings are pretty stuffy, formal and solemn—with everybody just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Even if the couple really is happy or content together, like Finesse and Langris, you wouldn’t be able to tell because of the way everybody is acting.”

Vanessa took another sip of her drink. She hadn’t been to a lot of noble weddings in the Clover Kingdom, but based on her experiences at Langris and Finesse’s alone, she couldn’t argue with Finral’s logic. “Sounds peachy… The Clover Kingdom aristocrats just have to ruin everything, don’t they?”

Finral’s mouth twitched in the corners before he stared down at his glass and sighed again. “That’s not what I want…I mean sure, I’ve always wanted to get married but not like that…” He paused—that wistful look returning to his face as his eyes widened and seemed to light up at his words. “I want a wedding where everybody says, ‘Wow, look at how much he loves her’ and ‘Can you believe how deliriously happy they are together.’”

“You really are such a hopeless romantic, aren’t you?” Vanessa teased affectionately ruffling his hair. A blush filled Finral’s cheeks, and he shuffled his feet against his barstool.

“Maybe…”

“What about her?” asked Vanessa running her hand through his hair.

“Who?”

“The bride in your dream wedding—does she love you too?”

Finral’s blush deepened, and he looked away from her. “I hope so…but I understand if she doesn’t…”

“I’m sure she does…” Vanessa reassured him. Disentangling her fingers from his hair, she stroked the side of his cheek with the back of her hand until he met her eyes again. Her voice grew soft, gentle as she continued, “I don’t know how she couldn’t…”   

Surprising both Vanessa and, seemingly, himself, Finral cupped her face in his hands. He suddenly leaned forward in his barstool and kissed her—just barely a brush of their lips, tentative yet sloppy somehow, probably from the tequila she could almost taste on his breath. Her eyes fluttered closed, and maybe it was all the alcohol talking but she couldn’t care less about anyone seeing them.

“Ah!” shrieked a voice followed by the clatter of dishware falling to the floor. Vanessa pulled back. Clearly, she had thought that much too soon as she found Charmy staring at them utterly dumbfounded—her third or fourth piece of wedding cake smashed on the ground. Finral’s face turned a bright rosy shade of red as Charmy exclaimed, “I don’t care how drunk you are—you can’t kiss Vanessa!”

“But…but Charmy…” Finral protested his words blurring together as they tumbled out of his mouth. “You don’t…you don’t understand… I think she’s the one.”

When Vanessa failed to stifle a giggle, Charmy rolled her eyes at her. After a pointed huff in Vanessa’s general direction, she turned her attention back to a very red-faced Finral with a stamp of her foot and crossed arms.

“Oh no you don’t. We’re not doing this again! If you start banging your head against the wall, I swear…”

“Why would I…?” Finral began with a trailing voice and confused tilt of his head. “Oh…” he said at last with a thoughtful nod and an awkward, drunken chuckle. “It’s not like that, Charmy. I promise…” Finral insisted again before staring into Vanessa’s face. “I…I love her…”

As he met her eyes, Vanessa could feel the heat rising in her cheeks—that blush that only came out when she drank too much. Her head was spinning with a rush of something she couldn’t quite place in the woozy haze of alcohol, but before she could say anything, Finral turned back to Charmy and said, “But don’t tell her that because… I don’t want to scare her away…”

Charmy blinked at him. “I’m sure you can handle that on your own…” she quipped causing Vanessa to burst out laughing. She frantically covered her mouth with her hand as Charmy added bitterly, “Though believe me, I want nothing more than to pretend I didn’t hear that…”

“Thank you, Charmy,” said Finral with grateful tears in his eyes, and once again, Vanessa found she couldn’t hold back her intoxicated giggling. He was such an emotional drunk—it was kind of sweet, in a way. Charmy, however, was unamused as she shook her head and turned her attention to her with a huff.

“I can tell the two of you are drunk, but are you really going to let him kiss you like that?” Charmy rolled her eyes, and Vanessa wondered if she had ever looked so exasperated. “Not to mention that other thing…”

Vanessa’s brow furrowed as if she was contemplating this thoughtfully—though her mind was clouded and hazy from too much liquor. “Charmy has a point…” she said at last turning to Finral. Her playful frown quickly shifted into a teasing grin. “I’m not going to let you kiss me like that…”

A somewhat delayed look of genuine confusion passed over Finral’s face before Vanessa leaned forward in her stool and pointed her finger at him. “You call that a kiss?” She laughed as Finral’s blush deepened. “I’ll show you a kiss…”

Without the slightest forethought, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. She could feel him jerk backwards in surprise, but her hands frantically raced across his nape and tangled in his hair pulling him back to her with an almost desperate ardor.

“I hate you both,” muttered Charmy bitterly when they broke apart from each other both breathless and red in the face. “And I’ll never forgive you for making me ruin my cake. I’m going to get another piece…”  She sulked off leaving them once again alone at the bar though this time with Finral looking like he had just been whacked on the back of the head with one of Asta’s anti-magic swords.

“Woah…” he finally stammered at last. “That was…a kiss…”

“Yeah it was,” Vanessa teased with a flirtatious wink and an almost smug, lopsided grin.

“Vanessa…Vanessa…” he breathed before his face suddenly fell. “I’m so sorry…I…I just told Charmy that I love you…”

“That’s okay…it’s just Charmy. She thinks we’re just messing with her. Plus, we’re all used to you saying stupid things when you have too much tequila…” Vanessa laughed again as she playfully tapped his nose. “You’re drunk. I am too, but at least I’m not a lightweight.”

Finral sighed. “Yeah…maybe…but…but I…I really do love you, Vanessa…It’s not just the alcohol…” His voice trailed as he met her eyes and gently pushed a piece of hair out of her face.  “I…I think this is it…I’ve finally got it right…” His face flushed before he frantically added, “Is it…is it too soon to say that?”

“Maybe a little, but…” Vanessa smiled snaking her arms around his neck again. “As long as you don’t start telling random strangers I’m the only one for you and banging your head against a wall, I’m okay with that…”

Finral stifled a laugh. “That’s not funny.”

“If you get to say corny romantic things when you drink, I get to make bad jokes,” she teased pulling him close to her.

A blush filled his cheeks as his warm breath brushed against her skin. “Someone…someone will see…”

“Ah let ‘em,” shrugged Vanessa—her speech beginning to slur. “They’re bound to find out eventually…” She pulled him close enough to feel his racing heartbeat, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as she stopped a tantalizing mere inches away from his face. “Unless…” she breathed before brushing her lips against his. “You wanna go somewhere they can’t see us…”

[siodium]

asdklasjdlsks maximum late trip update post bc i completely forgot about it in my drafts. 💀 i was too occupied with grinding mapes events for cosmetic items aha.

better late than never i guess??

anyway, here's my long-awaited post about my short 5D4N trip in taiwan with luwi and shoron!! i decided to condense all five days into one post this time bc i didn't take a lot of good pics. :/

DAY 1: TAIPEI

nanjichang night market (南機場夜市) - highly recommended!!!

sumikko gurashi themed 7-ELEVEN (角落小夥伴主題商店)

first thing we did when we landed was to run to a 7-ELEVEN to grab a small bite. i got a strawberry cream sandwich with a mixed fruit/vegetable juice and the sandwich was so tasty... nothing special but so homely. we also picked up an easycard so that we could ride the mrt and omg the designs were all so cute?? why can't we have cute transport passes in sg too!!

after checking into our hostel, we went to nanjichang night market for dinner. i was told that this was the night market that locals would go to, and to avoid shilin night market bc it was more of a tourist attraction/trap?? no regrets tho. the food was great and so affordable. i got deep fried squid (coated with some kind of peppery and salty seasoning powder and spoilers: pretty sure all the fried stuff i ate in taiwan had the same seasoning LOL), shrimp dumplings, and a fermented vegetable baked pepper bun. waaa,, even though i ordered a shrimp dumpling, there was meat in it!! and i cannot handle the taste of meat in taiwan. it's too strong...

i also got an osmanthus tea from one of the bbt stalls there and it was the best bbt i had in taiwan?? unfortunately i didn't catch the name of the stall but there was a catto sitting on the counter!!

ended our day with a trip to the sumikko gurashi 7-ELEVEN. the decor was so cute!! i was hoping there'd be some exclusive merch being sold but there weren't any. idk why but i was determined to find some merch and i kept going into every 7-ELEVEN that was in my sights LMAO spoilers i didn't find any exclusive merch in the end. disappoint :-(

thoughts about the accommodation:

we stayed at the beimen wow poshtel for most of the days. it was reasonably close to the taipei main station and super affordable (~$20 per night) but idk it was giving me major School Camp flashbacks. we got the top bunks so every time we forgot something on the bed, we had to climb up the ladder to get it. it was inconvenient and i found out that i'm terrible at going down ladders bc i just jump off from the highest rung of the ladder and i gave myself quite a few bruises from that.

the rooms were also very tiny. we couldn't all have our luggages open at the same time so we'd go down to the communal area in the basement every day just to move things around. i wouldn't say that this was a massive con bc we got used to this arrangement rly fast. the real bAD THING is that we can't leave our things lying around in the room without locking them up in the lockers (also very smol). i have to clean and dry all my toiletries every day before i go to bed and before i leave. one time i accidentally left my clean clothes bag out and i woke up to find a single dirty sock inside. >:/

but other than that it felt pretty safe?? and i did enjoy our nightly hangouts at the communal area for supper or to plan our next-day activities.

would like to try out a capsule hotel next time tho. like one of those space pod thingies.

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DAY 2: SHIFEN AND JIUFEN

shifen old streets

shifen waterfall

jiufen old streets

zhang ji traditional fishballs

a gan yi taro ball - it's nice but nothing special?? if the queue is too long then don't bother with it

jioufen teahouse - the queue for the famous a-mei teahouse was insane so we decided to try another teahouse

we spent the second day at shifen and jiufen!! took a train to shifen in the morning. walked along the streets and got some street food for lunch. i got brown sugar mochi paw-shaped pancake pops from a stall and i personally wouldn't recommend that flavour bc it was so dry. we also ate some taiwanese-style takoyaki. i watched luwi and shoron make their sky lantern (i couldn't do it bc it's ghost month and my mum said no :/) and release it into the sky. luwi added some good wishes for chi. stay 白 uwu

after walking around for a bit, we ran out of things to do and still had plenty of time to spare so we decided to rent electric scooters to see the shifen waterfall. i was shooketh that they didn't require any license?? and the shop didn't provide any helmets or safety gear?? so sus... i didn't dare to ride one of my own so i pillion'ed behind luwi.

the waterfall was a distance away from the parking lot and so the rest of our journey had to be on foot. i was sweating so much and thought i was gonna hallucinate from the heat and strong sun rays. somehow we made it to the viewing deck. i was expecting to be a lot closer to the waterfall but eh the view was pretty nonetheless. got chi and cha out so they could take in the sights too!!

we went through another round of suffering to get back to the parking lot and i, after seeing shoron ride the scooter so breezily on the way there from the old streets, decided to try riding one for the funsies. despite having barely any bicycle experience. as you would expect, that was Not A Good Idea bc i didn't even move 3 metres when i lost control, panicked, revved the accelerator thinking it was the brake (both were on the handles so idk i'm not a driver), went up the curb and fell over. ok but i fell off on purpose bc i thought the scooter was moving on its own (and not bc i mixed up the brake and accelerator) and my only way of survival was to just get off the bike before i crash into something or something crashed into me. surprisingly the only injuries i sustained were some bruises on my upper thigh that i landed on, and pinpoint scratches on my hand that i got from breaking my fall. i was very lucky that nothing was broken or bleeding. well, that was An Experience...... that i wouldn't want to go through again. anyway i'm banned from driving after this~~~

↓ btw this photo was taken moments before the disaster. apparently a lot of foreigners who rented scooters there also crashed their bikes. now that i look at it, our scooter had a chunk of it broken off at the front. ummm,,, what is safety

our next stop was jiufen!! jiufen was sooo scenic and beautiful with all the lanterns and slopes but climbing up and down all those narrow and steep stairs just to get to the main street was just deaTH. 💀 i have no idea how the elderly can do it.

had an early dinner at the zhang ji traditional fishballs. got a mixed fishballs noodle soup and it was so tasty!! i actually like the handmade fishballs with meat inside. they were sweet.

when it got dark, we visited one of the teahouses there to have a tea experience. the staff taught us how to brew the tea and we did the rest ourselves after that. it was fun!! we also ordered an oolong tea cheesecake to share and it was definitely more cheesecake than oolong but i'm not complaining.

we stayed at the jiufen kite museum for a night and i was so glad to finally have a room to ourselves. it was a good thing we didn't bring our luggages with us bc there were no elevators there!! it was all just stairs.

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DAY 3: JIUFEN AND BACK TO TAIPEI

jioufen breakfast restaurant

D+AF女鞋 南西旗艦店 - super nice and trendy shoes!!

kura sushi

ximending

the nighttime view in jiufen was amazing with all the lanterns lit up but bc it was so crowded and you absolutely could not get a shot without someone blocking the view, we decided to come back the next day at 6 am just to take pics. and also to eat a traditional taiwanese breakfast!! i love the soy milk and youtiao combination. 💕

when we were back at the taipei main station, i chanced upon this bakery (semeur 聖娜) that was holding a kanahei's small animals collab?? if you spend a certain amount, you can buy merch at a cheaper price. so ofc i picked out four breads just so i could get a cute cooler bag with usagi and piske on it~ kinda regretted not getting the handheld fan too. it would've been so useful bc it was sO HOT. btw i ended up bringing one bread back to singapore (take note of this info for later) bc i couldn't finish all of them LMAO. the breads were all tasty but i particularly liked the melon bun.

day 3 was our Buy The Things We Have To Buy day. luwi went to check out a motorcycle gear shop by herself while shoron and i explored the zhongshan area. i got the $370 wall clock that my colleague rly wanted from a department store there. we also went to this shoe shop that shoron wanted to check out and like,, i wasn't planning on buying any shoes but man,,, they were all so nice. you can call them clown shoes for all you like but i just rly like the wide, squarish toe box designs. i only bought a pair in the end but aaa i would've liked to get more if i didn't have space/weight concerns.

bought osmanthus oolong tea from yi pin tea (一品茶苑) and it was mid. very strong tea flavour tho.

we had kura sushi for lunch and it was amazing. the gacha system was fun and the food was great and i got to eat my beloved taiyaki for dessert. it was cheaper than any sushi place in sg too.

my stomach was acting up when we went to ximending in the evening so i didn't get anything to eat or drink there but i did try a bit of the vermicelli noodles from ay-chung flour-rice noodle and it was pretty good. peppery and kinda tastes like shark fin soup. aside from food, we didn't rly check out any of the shops there. i did go to a stationary store on my own and it was a feast for the eyes!!

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DAY 4:

wei chuan pushin ranch - there were capybaras and alpacas!! first time seeing them in person

mazesoba restaurant (東京油組總本店 台北華山組)

1789 café pâtisserie

zhongxiao dunhua shopping district (Air Space, Le Gusta, The Ladywore)

kanahei's small animals themed 7-ELEVEN (卡娜赫拉主題商店)

li yuan dumpling restaurant

braved the scorching heat for the alpacas and sheep and capybaras!! i touched an alpaca and a capybara for the first time and i can confirm that the former was floofy like a cloud while the latter felt like bristles of a broom.

the pig race and sheep race were being held when we were there so we got to watch. the ones that i bet on didn't win.

bc the ranch was located in a more rural part of taipei and buses were infrequent, we only had two?? hours to look around. so we rented some kind of a buggy. shoron was the designated driver for this bUT i felt like i could drive it too cuz it was kinda slow yknow.

for lunch we had mazesoba!! super good but could do with less salt.

afterwards we went on a hunt for a cafe to chill at bc it was raining so hard. had to give matcha one a miss bc we didn't have a reservation and there were no tables for us (except the VIP rooms which were $$$). eventually we found this cafe called 1789 café pâtisserie that was relatively empty and hid there until the rain subsided. we shared two eclairs (salted caramel and mango passionfruit) and a raspberry rose st. honore (crispy mille feuille pastry topped with whipped cream and raspberry jam??). they gave us two macarons on the house, and one of them was wasabi-flavoured. the taste was... interesting.

when the rain stopped, we went to shop for clothes around the zhongxiao dunhua shopping district. there were a lot of blogshop-like clothing stores in that area. i got clothes from le gusta and the ladywore~

our last dinner was at a xiaolongbao restaurant. i was glad that they had prawn xiaolongbaos!! that didn't have surprise meat in them. they were not bad. also got a custard panda bun for dessert~

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DAY 5:

luwi and shoron went out to dabao breakfast at yong he soy milk (永和豆漿) in ximending while i continued to laze around in bed~~~ they brought soy milk and youtiao back for me!! i miss the combination. the youtiao from yong he was so light and airy on the inside and so crisp on the outside aaaa the doughy and oily ones in sg can't compare.

after breakfast we packed up and left for the airport. i wanted to try the oden at 7-ELEVEN before i leave but we couldn't find one at the departure hall. maximum sadge. in the end, we settled for a fast-food chicken place after we checked in and i got a yoghurt green tea (which tasted like yakult btw) and sweet potato fries.

i wanted to be productive on the flight back home (and i wasn't rly that sleepy anyway) so i played 999 on my 3ds and watched a 2-hour movie. finally watched maquia and it made me cry lmao. tearjerkers are the best kinds of movies for a flight imo!!

oh oh i sat next to an elderly couple on the plane and they were so nice and friendly. the lady kept checking to see if i needed to use the toilet bc i got the window seat. 🥺 we also chatted a bit while waiting to get off the plane.

we were planning to have dinner at mos burg after we landed in sg but there was a luggage delay and by the time we all got our luggages, it was almost time for mos burg to close. aha but fortunately i still had one bread left. so that was my dinner, along with the milo and oreos that the staffs were handing out to apologise for the delay.

[nehswritesstuffs]

How come in some DW circles it’s considered wrong to say that 12 and Clara were intentionally written and performed as a romantic relationship and that this just gets misinterpreted or unnoticed?

So, uh, I was cleaning out my drafts and found a couple of DW/Whouffaldi meta-asks I answered but never published for some reason??? idk why but this has been sitting buried at the bottom of the drafts for, like, over a year and a half, and I feel it's important to post, all things considered. The other one will come later, but that one's only, like, half-done, so it's with any luck. This is going to be long and long-winded, so brace yourselves. There's notations.

So, the thing about Twelve and Clara is that there are many directions from which they got a lot of flack where they should not have, especially in comparison to other Doctor/Companion pairs. Getting to talk with younger fans who were not in fandom at the time, or with generally newer fans who have entered the game late, it is really a puzzle to them, whether they ship it or not, how and why this deep division took place. My perspective is obviously from someone who ships it, but also saw some absolute bullshit go down.

More under cut:

We had, in no specific order:

People wanting Twelve to be mean to Clara bc they hate her (????) and wanted her to be abused until she left

PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS dunking on Capaldi's age as though it's a bad thing (it's not)

People being really grossed out because there is a noticeable age gap between Capaldi and Coleman. Lots of blowback was based on how overdone and predatory older man/younger woman can be, which, true, but overdone and predatory Whouffaldi is not and there was more than nuance missed with this one

The same people from the point directly above forgetting this is a space-fantasy and that the 2000yo alien is making eyes at a 28yo adult, not the 800yo alien making eyes at a 19yo child, BECAUSE ONE OF THESE IS GROSS AND FOR SOME REASON IT WASN'T THE LATTER

Again, when people were writing PROFESSIONAL REVIEWS, they refused to acknowledge that there was even a hint of anything despite the fact that they supposedly both had eyeballs and watched s8/9

Multiple people involved with the show, including Steven Moffat and Jenna Coleman, said there was a deep and intense love between Clara and Twelve. Peter Capaldi basically said as much, but he was much vaguer, which I imagine is mostly because he is very much blissfully married and the awkwardness that might come with that. I don't blame him for such, and although it should be a non-issue, some people use that as backing against the Whouffaldi ship, which is very rude of them.

There were actually really intense ship wars in fandom during s8/9...? Like the Twelve/River fans were fcking fierce when it came to declaring that theirs was the superior ship(1), and then you get the Doctor/Master fans(2) and that entirely separate debacle. I honestly don't know how the Whouffaldi fandom would have survived had it not been for the PCap fandom in general, who were on average much less concerned with ship wars and much more concentrated on quenching their thirst.

There's more, but that gives you a taste into what's gone on. The biggest problem from all of this was that the people who were writing the articles and making the complaints and starting the wars were altogether a very small minority of people who watched the show. However, this tiny group of people, thanks to the specific platforms given to them, were extremely loud. They were able to join forces with the Not-My-Doctors who had long-ceased watching the show(3) to make a larger chunk of "fandom" than they really were, able to artificially inflate the noise, as the NMDs just trusted everything the group of what was essentially hate-watchers said was fact.

Let me tell you: entertainment media is largely interpretative and that was not fact.

With such a loud counter-presence, the Whouffaldi fandom was really sort of loathe to give up easy, and as they reexamined and revisited and overanalyzed the content, we were able to come to our conclusions time and time again. This kind of pissed off the hate-watchers and the NMDs and they dug in their heels. They took a storyline that pushed the definitions of what love is and, when all they have to say is "meh, it's possible, but not my cup of tea", there is repeated denial and insistence on the father-daughter angle(4) as the only angle to the point of being destructive. There were reasons as to why the show was doing poorly in the ratings during the Capaldi years, and it had nothing to do with Whouffaldi, or Capaldi, or Coleman, or Mackie, or Moffat or any of the other "usual suspects'" in a singular form.(5) That instead lies with the Beebus, which has been jerking around the show since 2009(6), and seems to be not doing that again, but ONLY in regards to the "new" showrunner(7) who's getting the show after Chibs and not anything else that's been happening post-2010.

All in all, Whouffaldi as a romantic ship is either seen as a delusional sicko fantasy, or one of the most shat-on romantic ships in the entire show, and to mention one of those opinions in a crowd of the other opinion means that you might just get your ass verbally handed to you. Yeah, it's all fiction and doesn't matter, but the amount of shit that's gone down because of it has drawn distinct lines in the sand and idk if anyone is willing to cross it right now... I mean, especially now, given everything that's happened and this is now a nine-year-old ship that hasn't been represented/acknowledged on-screen for years, but... yeah.

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Auxiliary Notes

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(1): My personal stance is that Twelve/Clara is the better of the two in general, but that the Twelve/River we got should have been loads better, and I want to know who it was who was making the final calls for THoRS (Moff or someone higher), because I did want to see Twelve/River, bc those actors are just really good, but that episode felt too much like a Monkey's Paw prank to be legit. Best THoRS ending should have been Twelve leading River to their table at the restaurant and there's Eleven, and he gets to spend the twenty-four uninterrupted years with River, but eh what do I know.

(2): As someone with siblings, as well as acknowledging how much weird sibling energy the Doctor and the Master exude over the multiple versions I've seen, please don't come at me with excuses for what would essentially be an incest ship. Just no. I love you all, but some of you are disappointing me with your sins.

(3) It is very common for certain NMDs to have stopped watching at the end of 2009, or, alternatively, after the Ponds left the show. These are often people who have dangerous settings on their nostalgia filters and low amounts of media literacy. This brand of NMDs often are fans of Ten and/or Eleven, claiming they're their favorite "because he's so quirky", despite the fact they were... not... that... quirky... really. Many of them also hate Moffat's writing for [insert reasons here], despite the fact when you ask them to list their favorite episodes, Blink and Girl in the Fireplace are in their top five. They also have an extreme overlap with the fans that the show is attempting to court back with The Second Coming of Russell, despite the fact those fans really be out there wanting more Ten/Wose when that is the horse that even its creator acknowledges has been beaten to death.

(4) I worry for you if you thought that eye-sex Twelve and Clara kept having was how fathers and daughters are supposed to behave. Did you see any glances like that between Twelve and Bill? No? Well guess what: TWELVE WAS BILL'S SURROGATE DAD. THERE'S YOUR FATHER-DAUGHTER STUFF RIGHT THERE.

(5) Ratings, which have been a garbage system of proving a television show's worth since recording via VHS became widespread(1), were effected way more by the fact that there was often shoddy advertising (as though all the budget for the next few seasons went into the 2014 World Tour marketing blitz), weird changes made to the broadcast times at short notice, and the fact that iPlayer/VOD/recordings aren't counted alongside people who tuned in when it was airing. While it's true that consumer watching habits are changing, and that's fine, but the shift was much weaker back in 2014-2016 and that's only the UK ratings. Other countries that got a stable broadcast schedule or people who simply binged tend to have a greater outward acceptance of Twelve, despite the fact their population also will contain NMDs of varying levels.

(5.1) It actually can be argued that the garbage nonsense about ratings has only really been a thing whenever it is most convenient for the people running the television network, considering there are shows that in the past have done poorly and were allowed to continue, and shows that were doing very well with a loyal fanbase and axed for no reason whatsoever, other than some whim of a higher-up at the company. Compare the American shows M*A*S*H (which was actually a disaster in the ratings to start) and Green Acres (which despite not being a top-30 program had enough of a loyal viewership that it should of been saved during the Rural Purge of 1971, but wasn't).

(6) I have reason to believe that the channel that is in charge is just a giant NMD in of itself since Tennant (first) left the show, despite the fact it's their cash cow, based on how they've been making moves deliberately meant to be divisive and tear the show down, all the way back to casting Matt Smith. How effective they were with each move is debatable, but yeah... there's a lot of ways you can say that the channel itself is an NMD, to the point it becomes less of a coincidence and more of an aggressive pattern.

(7) It still both disappoints me and does not surprise me how things have been going lately and it's part of why I'm over in my corner being petty and ignoring what's going on in canon, bc they can't even let Gatwa have his time to shine without being overtaken by overdone and overrated.

[monsterkissed]

I'm quite late to that emoji ask meme, but how about... 😅🍦🎯👀🧠

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

genuinely, honestly? i don't think i am embarrassed about my work. there is more amateurish stuff i made when i was less good but i can't fairly be embarrassed about that, and there are works that are Indulgent to a large degree but i know that all of that is probably equally Indulgent to someone out there. my tolerance for embarrassment is incredibly low! i do not think i could keep doing this if i were truly embarrassed by it. sometimes i might be like "oh my god i can't believe i wrote something like That" but then i always remember: "ah, but people read it"

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

i don't really write a lot of works that are centred on fluff or otherwise Typically Sweet Content... probably Go Places? domestic crime guys sharing living space? there's only one murder in it! Two Stone Rings is some guys visiting a nice wedding! there's only one murder in it! you see my problem. Fidelity is about learning to move on thru wlw feelings! the murders are mostly just implied!

sweet stuff in fics that are not entirely sweet... would have far more contenders, but would reveal far too much about the kinds of things i think are sweet and how much of it involves characters justifying murders to each other.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

gee i wonder... if there's a particular example here..... a really juicy significant one about a pretty well-liked wip...........

oh! duh. obviously it's the time i left I Think We're Alone Now on a cliffhanger involving doppio eating some home cooking and while multiple people were firmly convinced that he'd been the victim of a murderous poisoning attempt, my good pal naem immediately realised that that was not nearly enough of an upsetting way for him to be murdered, and it was probably just sleepy meds to knock him out for something worse. so many warm fuzzies honestly

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

at the moment i am hoping to get Gasoline out and done at a quite rapid clip because the chapters are a lot shorter than i usually run (and i can actually say that instead of just boasting with hubris and inevitably regretting it bc 95% of the first draft is Done) and it's got a lot of pre-VA stuff i am very hype to put out including one moment that will definitely be a contended for the Sweet Scenes category above and it will probably be Obvious when it comes lol. and there is a very good reason i didn't want to post it until act 3 of bngn started...

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

wait u did not pick a character... or am i supposed to pick a character and now you have to tell me a favourite headcanon... perhaps we can trade?

i feel like outside of the ones in my own work, "bruno is trans and he zipped off his boobs" has just resulted in too much stylish art. nobody can prove he didn't do that and nobody can argue it wouldn't be sick as hell.

now u: pick a pink family member. or your best drakenier headcanon but only if it would enrage at least one fanbro terribly

[btsmosphere]

Crossing Paths - drabble from the Crossfire universe

request from @excusemyuwus -

I remember Tae said he had a crush on her while working on that project so now I kinda want to see his pov of that time and how he was holding being around his crush lol, not gonna lie gangster Tae all nervous bc he like someone is something want to see (also imagine how much the guys would tease him uwu)

tumblr ate your ask when I tried to answer it, sorry! this is the only part I had copied, but if it ever resurfaces, I shall answer there. for now it is still refusing to cooperate so I am posting like this! (update: the ask just returned, it is here)

~pairing: taehyung x reader ~word count: 1.4k ~pre-relationship, fluff, angst, slice of life, mafia au, college au ~rating: g ~warnings: vague mention of gang activity, this is a gang au after all, but it’s not particularly prominent

~a/n: thank you for your great request! this was so nice to come back to, I am so sentimental about this series as my first bts fic🥰takes me back to when I was just getting into bts… it felt hard to do it justice! because of this, sorry it took me a while to write, but I wanted to do it well, and again I kept the theme of making my ‘drabbles’ wayyy longer😅final big thanks to the site being frustrating and eating drafts and such🙃🙃but here it is, finally seeing the light of day! I hope you enjoy it x

“I can tell something’s on your mind, Tae.”

Jimin stared coolly at his friend. Looking over his shoulder guiltily as he unlocked the door, Tae found the other boy with his hands in his pockets, looking expectant.

All Tae could do was shrug as he elbowed the door open, heading to ditch his bag.

“Hey, Jimin’s right.”

A light flick on Tae’s forehead made him startle, looking up to find Hobi grinning, though his head was tilted to one side in question.

“What is it?”

Jimin’s shoulder nudged his own as they sunk into the sofa.

Tae checked his phone.

“It’s just a project for class, don’t worry about it,” he pocketed his phone, ignoring their gazes, “I gotta meet with my partner in an hour.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t staying that long anyway,” Hobi slumped down too, having helped himself to a drink from the fridge, “I’m on watch with Yoongi across town.”

As the discussion turned to this week’s jobs and deals, Taehyung rested his head back against the sofa. The sounds of his friends’ conversation was like static. Instead, he was picturing the scene in class earlier, as the slideshow was flipped to show the project partners on the screen.

Tae hadn’t been too fussed, idly playing with his pen lid as he searched for his name. But when his eyes fell on it, he sat up straight.

Having only bumped into you a few times in class, he had never expected his heart to be hammering quite so hard as he quickly scanned the room for you. Sliding his things away, he had walked towards you as everyone began to file out, meeting you halfway as you did the same.

Leaning against a desk to keep his jittery hands occupied, he grinned at you.

Your returning smile, he noticed, was much more nervous, only flickering into existence for a wavering second. The two of you had only a brief conversation to sort out when you would meet, before you had practically scurried away.

His eyes had lingered on you as his smile slowly sank.

Unconsciously poking his tongue against his cheek, Tae wondered if you were afraid of him.

“Hey!”

A finger clicked sharply in front of his face. He blinked back at Hobi’s grin, Jimin bursting into laughter at his side.

“Just a project, my ass,” Hobi shook his head, dumping an empty bottle on the coffee table, “don’t wanna be late, do you?”

A radiant smile was tossed over his shoulder as Hobi left the room, front door clicking soon after.

Sending his best friend a knowing look, Jimin also gathered himself to stand.

“Have fun tonight, yeah?”

He winked. Tae protested, shooting up from the sofa with an affronted look.

“So it is a special someone?” Jimin giggled.

“You’re impossible,” Tae grumbled, trailing after him to the door, “it’s just a project, I told you.”

Jimin hummed in a way which made it very clear he didn’t believe him.

“Don’t scare them off, tiger,” he remarked, stepping outside.

Tae’s shoulders slumped. He was certain that was just what he had already done.

“I’m busy tonight. And my house isn’t free, so I can’t have anyone showing up here.”

Namjoon chuckled across the line.

“All this for a college project?” Clearly he had heard about this from the others. “If you could lend Kook some of your commitment to school, that would be great,” he teased.

Sighing, Tae spun around to survey the road outside his window, ruffling his own hair.

“You’re very funny, but I need to go. See you tomorrow.”

Tae was certain he would never hear the end of this from the others. It was true that he had firmly set aside time for your meeting today, even if it was only for a minor college presentation. But it was important to him.

He knew that this was the only time he would get together with you, and though it would end as soon as the presentation was given, he couldn’t help but want to make the most of it. At your last meeting, he had been largely distracted by the dizzying height of your apartment, leaving him shying back from any windows.

So this left you with his house today instead.

Arriving soon after Tae’s phone call, you were both soon seated on his floor. Though you mostly worked in quiet with occasional, quick conversation, it was not awkward. Your legs lay close together under the coffee table as you scribbled away diligently on its surface.

Glancing over the lid of his laptop as his fingers hung idly, Tae sighed. Watching as your pen swirled across your notebook, he let his eyes drift across your focussed features.

He swallowed as he did so, teeth tugging his lip. A light frown came over your features. He couldn’t take his eyes away from your lips as your pen lifted to your mouth, resting between your teeth as you mulled the work over, eyes flitting about the page.

Eventually, the lack of tapping at his keyboard must have got through to you. You raised your head.

Too late to divert his gaze, Taehyung cleared his throat and muttered a proposal for a break. Eager as well to put your work aside, you clambered from the floor to join him at his offer of a drink.

Moving through to the kitchen, he made casual conversation, asking after your dad. Last time there had only been a brief meeting, as he met Tae at the door before you hurried him away.

Picking up on his offer to chat, you teased Tae for his fear of heights, giggling over how he had screwed his eyes shut whenever he had come within sight of the view from your windows.

Of course, Tae tried his best to roll his eyes at you, but the smile dragging the corners of his mouth refused to be suppressed.

He poured your drinks. When he turned away to put the cartons back in the fridge, he took a breath, trying to settle himself. Why did he feel so flustered?

Squaring his shoulders a little more, he turned back, only for his hand to catch one of the glasses. It clattered against the surface, barely leaving time for him to jump back and avoid being splattered with its contents.

You hopped from your seat, ready to help.

Swallowing down his shock, Tae scratched at the back of his neck to hide his slightly trembling hand.

“Don’t worry,” he quickly muttered, flashing a nervous smile as he gathered towels and set to cleaning up.

Soft laughter followed from you. Still, you reached across to help.

Righting the glass and taking one of the cloths to clear up, your hand came concerningly close to Tae’s own. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the countertop, his cheeks warm even as you finished and he was rooting in the fridge again for a refill.

You seemed miraculously unfazed by his flailing, though, he noticed as you finally settled beside each other sipping your drinks.

“So it went well?”

Jimin nudged a reluctant Tae, eyebrows wiggling all the time.

“Yes, fine,” Tae groaned, trying to shrug him off.

Jimin did stop, but only in favour of staring at his friend with doleful eyes.

“Don’t be like that. You’ll see her again. You literally share a class!”

“It’s nothing like that,” Tae refuted.

He even halfway believed it.

You had got on well together, but surely not more than could be expected of most classmates? He sighed a little as he thought of it. It had been fun, but there was no excuse to spend any more time with you.

Besides, sparing one night to work on a project was a little different to becoming friends, or even more…

There was a reason the bangtan boys stuck to themselves.

But as he reminisced, he knew he had a soft spot for you, even if it should come to nothing. The project was over, the presentation given, but he still remembered the way you bounced with excited relief after you had finished talking to the class. Your face was glowing as you high-fived him with a grin, the work having paid off.

There was still a hint of nervousness though, and you had only given a timid smile and a small ‘see you later’ before heading out of class.

And that was the end of it.

But Tae smiled to himself. It had been fun, and he knew he wouldn’t be sorry if you ever crossed paths again.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments super appreciated always!!

Taglist: @aianloveseven​ @preciouschimine​ @un2-verse​ @ddaechwita​ @taegularities​ 

[kasugas]

Tell me about your yakuza blorbos

OH GOD this is gonna take a while so sorry if this is late (I'm gonna be on mobile tackling this throughout the day)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Right now I think it's Ichiban..... Before playing LAD I would have 100% said Majima BC I mean he isn't the fan favourite for no reason but Ichibans character is so strongly written that in just 1 game he's won me over. I care him

However I can assign a blorbo to each game for extra opportunity for me to rant like a madman (I will put it under a read more at the end to save this posts length)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Ok for a series about grouchy old men this is the funniest question. I think haruka is the only choice here, mainly in 1/2

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

SHINADA. For a guy that was a random protag shoved in at the end of the longest fucking game known to man he really grew on me. I still don't understand baseball though. He's just silly goofy and I hope he's having a good time with his new friends

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Nishida 100%. I would say Date here but I think he's had too much screen time to class as a background character. When nishida left a note or was even mentioned in dead souls I was so eager to read it. A note. He wasn't even in the game. Yuya could also work here but again hes had some decent screentime.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

This is tricky.... I would not ascribe this character all the traits described in this heading but Majima. From Yakuza 5 in particular he's at his peak poor meow meow in 5 he needs to get in the pet carrier.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Akiyama. Look at his smug little face. Adachi can also fit into here because he's an asshole too but akiyama easily tops this one.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

I fucking forgot his name the scary red suit bitch from 0.. NISHITANI IT TOOK ME LIKE 3 HOURS TO REMEMBER HIS NAME. solely because he fucking terrifies me he is the scariest Yakuza character hands down. also on the topic of 0 i hope Sagawa is in superhell

hiiiii i finally got the keep reading working so a full 12 hours after starting this draft i can finish it ^_^ My blorbo of each respective yakuza game is as follows:

Y0: Majima bc of course. Majima in 0 got me hooked on yakuza as a series and picking up 0 in a winter sale back in 2020 was the best oblivious decision i ever made. I just really like serious Majima and whenever that part of his personality shines through in the later games its just ough ough.

Y1: Haruka #girlboss. she does not behave like a realistic 7 year old but honestly shes just so no-nonsense in this game she is the lead we deserved. Its also really interesting seeing how yakuza 1 doesnt follow Kiryus story as much as it does Harukas, like shes the one looking for Yumi and she kicks off the plot.

Y2: KOYUKI....... i fucking loved the cabaret grand prix in kiwami 2 and both Yuki/Koyuki were hilarious to watch. That minigame could have honestly been a standalone game and i’d buy it the  storyline kept me hooked the entire time mainly bc Koyuki was so fun to be around. Honorable mention to Majima here because his scenes in kiwami 2 are the funniest hes ever been in this series.

Y3: Honestly all the fucking kids in this game could count as a collective blorbo but if i had to choose on specifically it’d be Taichi. He had such a fuckin personality and always stood out from the other kids you go you funky little wrestling fan.

Y4: Now going into this game i was thinking Akiyama was the smug little bastard id obsess over but hes too much of a dickhead in this game. My actual blorbo of Y4 is Saejima. The way they wrote his character is fucking amazing i still love rewatching that scene in the colluseum from him and the reunion with Sasai afterwards. Hes a gruff dude in touch with his emotions and thats the shit i like to see. We dont talk bout that one scene with Haruka though. Erased.

Y5: Now heres where Akiyama really became one of my big faves. Seeing him interact with Haruka and just go around trying to solve crimes was really nice to see. Honestly any time you want me to like a character just have them interact postively with Haruka its foolproof. Akiyama really is a fucking mess but hes so fun to watch ingame as well as his fighting style being by far one of my favourites in this series.

Y6: Ironic that the main character hasnt even gotten a blorbo mention until now. Yakuza 6 really fucking made me appreciate Kiryu, this dense man that we’ve watched go through 30 years of devastating life events and trauma. Not even going to mention the final few scenes of this game i have so much respect for him and im going to move on before i become a sad puddle on the floor for the next 3 hours.

Y7: Well its my current main blorbo. Ichiban. The way they made this man so fucking cheesy but so genuine is baffling. Hes the most endearing character ive encountered in the entire series and its amazing how fuckin quick i was to like him. We’ve had Kiryu as a protag for so fucking long Ichi had some massive shoes to fill but the game handles it so well and ough ough. He needs everyone to be nice to him RIGHT THIS SECOND.

[mego42]

Hi!! Was just wondering if you have any Brio fic updates you’ll be posting soon? Obsessed with your writing!

ahhhhh thank you!!! you are too kind!!!

I guess it depends on your definition of soon? I have a lot of stuff I’m working on and am pretty far along into, it’s just been going a bit slowly for life reasons (we’ve been temporarily short-staffed at my job which has unfortunately coincided with bringing on some big new clients so I’m working crazy hours and then also took on a p big freelance project at the same time bc I make questionable choices but also bc it’s a v awesome project and I’m hoping to be able to brag about it soon)

THAT SAID I’ve got a lot of stuff p far along including:

ch 2 of swear! fully drafted, def in need of another major editing pass though. there’s a tension/tone through-line that’s not quiiiiiiite right and I’ve been trying to sort it out by writing Rio POV outtakes bc why not

ch 3 of swear! I’m trying really hard not to post for this fic until I have a chapter banked both for accountability reasons and also bc I’ve got a lot of threads woven into the fic that I’m trying to keep track of and it’s helpful to be able to bounce back a chapter and tweak things to properly set up stuff in the next chapter. I’m about a quarter/third or so into it but I’ve lowkey dropped it for now to focus ooooooooon...

the last chapter of song!! at last! it’s happening! highkey inspired to jump back in by a truly lovely comment @whiskeyjack left me and @xenalovesoq and her group chat’s unflagging enthusiasm, I am about 15K into the draft and *laugh nervously* a third of the way through my outline so that’s gonna be a monster

I’ve also got a bunch of other projects in various stages of outlining and drafting that are v much on my mind but def not a current priority like the others (Beth POV for listening, buffyverse if I can detangle the plot, the pacific rim AU I add a sentence or two to whenever I’m stuck on something else, the sex pollen I wrote half of and then paused to write swear).

so yeah, lots of stuff happening but nothing close enough that I’m comfortable predicting a timeline I’d inevitably fail at anyway. I’m not sure what’s going to get posted first tbh, I’d say probably song because that’s what I’m focused on rn but editing is going to be a bit of a thing given how long it’s shaping up to be (jfc oh god what am I doing) so idk!!

I wish I had a better answer but here! have a (rough, unedited) snippet from song for your troubles!

"What are you doing here," she hisses.

Her eyes dart from Rio's face to over his shoulder, sweeping the midway to see if anyone's watching them, and then back. The corner of his mouth tugs up like he knows what she's doing and it's funny. She locks onto the motion, the shrieking sounds of the carnival around them falling away. Midday sunshine giving way to deep, dark midnight blue in her mind’s eye.

Between her kids and then Rio having Marcus for a few days, Beth hadn't seen him since that night at the bar a full week ago. After she'd explained her plan to his satisfaction, she'd realized it was getting late, and she had to get home. He’d walked her out to the van and the unexpected gallantry of the gesture caught her off guard, and something bloomed, warm and sparkling in her chest. Then, alone in the parking lot, he'd pinned her up against the side of it, burying his face in her neck and pressing his hips into hers. Her moan when she felt him hard against her mingled with his answering one when she rolled her own hips right back, echoed together through the still, silent night. 

Beth thought about yanking open the door of the van and tugging him inside. She knew he wouldn't object from the nearly frantic urgency of his hands gripping her waist, shoving up under her shirt, hot and rough against her skin. He'd cupped her breasts, his thumbs swiping across her nipples and pressing down. She'd gasped and arched against him, her nails digging into his shoulders through his shirt when he'd bit down on her neck in response. 

A part of her wanted that—him—quick and furtive in the back of the van, too desperate for each other to wait. But another part thought of the reality of Emma's Barbie's digging into her back, the graham cracker crumbs she’s pretty sure the seats spontaneously generate at this point embedding themselves in her skin, the smell of apple juice and kid sweat that never entirely dissipates hanging around them and that isn't—she doesn't—

This thing between them feels different now. New and precious and somehow heavier and more fragile than it ever has before. It's a beginning, and Beth wants more for it—them—than a rushed hookup in a parking lot before they go their separate ways. 

So she’d gently pushed him away and he'd let go of her immediately, even if he'd taken a beat to inhale deep against her skin before stepping all the way back. 

When he'd met her eyes, Beth had known she didn't need to explain, and when he reached out a hand, pinky extended, her own had fluttered closed as he'd gently nudged her hair back, tucking it behind her ear.

"Next time."

Impact against her thighs snaps her back to the present, and Beth realizes she's swayed forward into the table between them. She can feel her blush flare, heating her cheeks and chest, but can't bring herself to be too embarrassed when she sees the way Rio's eyes have gone dark and hooded. 

His lips part, and Beth can see the tip of his tongue pressed lightly against his teeth. She imagines leaning in, closing the distance, and sinking her teeth into his full, lush—

“Jesus Christ!” 

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[lilydalexf]

hi! i hope you're doing okay amidst the coronavirus frenzy. do you happen to have great recs for multi-chaptered xf fics? preferably AU... i need to lose myself in a little reading bubble lately because the news is super depressing and i feel like i've read a lot of the long fics out there already. thank you so much for your help!

Thank you for the ask! I hope you (and everyone else) is doing well. There are lots of multi-chapter fics in my posts of novel-length fic recs: part 1, part 2, part 3. Many of those stories are AU, but here is a list of AU stories. Not all of them are multi-chapter, but they are all great.

This list of AU stories is HUGE, so it’s behind the Keep Reading cut. First, please enjoy this AU-style gif of Mulder and Scully playing house in Arcadia.

All Things Bright And Green by DBKatePost-“Herrenvolk” AU. Mulder escapes with the child Samantha clone and with Scully, all three go into hiding. Months pass, Christmas is near and the struggle to find joy begins.

The Ballgame by @dksculderScully takes a case in her hometown, an old flame causing mixed emotions for her and Mulder.

Beating the Darkness Back by AnjouWhere do we go from here, now that we are free?

Breathe by TerriIt’s set in the future after Mulder has disappeared and a fearful Scully gets in contact with him.

A Candle for Katherine by MarasmusSometimes it’s the friends you make along the way that make all the difference.

Cubed by Louise MarinScully does a little body-swapping of her own. Can she and Mulder make it back to each other? Do they want to?

A Different Place by @myownsuperintendentHerrenvolk AU. When Mulder successfully brings one of the Samantha clones back from the farm with him, she must learn to adapt to a different life.

Eleventh Hour by Rachel AntonSome feeling defy the confines of time.

False Memories by ZuffyTwo years have passed since Mulder left. And then a woman walks into a bar.

Five Things That Never Happened to Dana Scully by anythingbutgreyDana — and she is always Dana now — looks out the window. She has stopped waiting. Instead, she watches.

Five Years and One Night by ShalimarThis starts post “Kitsunegari” and is full of spoilers including all of season 5. It deals with the events in “Emily”.

if you weren’t so by @seek-its-oppositeDreamland AU. “Thanks for coming out there with me,” he says, like she didn’t leave him alone last night.

In Absentia by QofMushDoes absence make the heart grow fonder or smarter?

In My End is My Beginning, Katabasis, and Homeostasis by JohnieSamantha is found and some truths are finally uncovered, but can Mulder deal with them? / Scully deals with Mulder’s disappearance. / Mulder deals with Scully’s disappearance.

An Inconvenient Truth by @mldrgrlAU Prompt: The events of Tithonus happened Post One-Son because Scully needed a break from Mulder and partnered up with Ritter on the Fellig case

Jasper’s Last Thought by MD1016Scully is abducted again, and returned to find her world has changed.

Katherine of Ireland by Jenna ToomsThe King is dead. Long Live the Queen.

The Long Road to Improbable by @mldrgrlWhat if the flashbacks in Per Manum dated back to season 5? What happened between then and Requiem?

Love, The Missing Word by Sarah KileyMulder and Scully are drafted into WW III. Is distance making the heart grow fonder?

Mobius by L.A. WardWhile investigating the disappearance of a physicist, Scully finds someone she didn’t expect–Mulder.

A Notorious Affair by Nicole PerryMulder and Scully in Hitchcock’s movie ‘Notorious’.

Old Growth Forest by AndreaMulder and Scully investigate the disappearances of homeless people in Madison, Wisconsin and seemingly end up suffering the same fate.

Prelude to an X by Helen WillsMulder’s a freelance journalist and Scully’s just been assigned an “X” file to work on, when they meet.

Road Markers by anythingbutgreyThere are anniversaries she can’t shake. Dates have, over the years, many years, worked their way into her mind as an internal clock.

Rules of Life and Death by @dksculderMulder is presented with a list of conditions he must fulfill to receive an inheritance. Can Scully help him accomplish all of the tasks?

The Sin Eater by Jane MortimerScully disappears into a mysterious vortex and Mulder makes an unbelievable sacrifice to ensure her safe return.

the shadow knows by captaingeorgyMSR AU

Shopping List by threeguessesScully has too many rolls of toilet paper for just one person.

Sinners Come Down by @poeticsandaliensSix years into her marriage to Daniel, Scully meets Fox Mulder at a bar one night, and they get talking and fucking over alcohol and self-pity.

The Smell of the Person You Love by @mangokiwitropicalswirlHere’s some plotless NSFW smutty Thanksgiving AU pie

Tandem by @alienqueequegIn 1988, a young Fox Mulder tries out yoga after a difficult case takes a toll on him.

The 13th Sign and Seven Days in May by Prufrock’s LoveMulder saw no reason for life, death, sex, Armageddon, or emotional dysfunction to stand in the way of true love. / It might be the end of the world. Fox Mulder had a psychic vampire on the loose, a six-year-old son in tow, a ton of emotional baggage, and an FBI budget, but at least he wasn’t dead. Mulder felt things were looking up - romantically and apocalyptically.

Triangulation by LeyannHe finally tracks them down in Oxford in mid-October.

The Unfinished Universe by RevelyMSR. This story wasn’t AU when I started it, but now it is.

Untitled AU by @foxmuldersau where mulder and scully get married during the events of christmas carol/emily, believing it will aid scully in the adoption process. after emily dies, they’re still married

Untitled AU by @frangipanidownunderWeird little five para AU set somewhere in Wales in some unspecified medieval time

Untitled AU by @how-i-met-your-mulderAU where M and S get together during the cancer arc

Untitled AU by @leiascullyAn AU where Requiem never happened.

Untitled AU by @leiascullyMulder told Scully he would do whatever he could to help her adopt Emily and she took him up on it.

Untitled AU by @lyndsaybonesAU where Mulder and Scully move in together circa s7

Untitled AU by @lyndsaybonesAU where Scully is shot instead of Diana

Untitled AU by @mldrgrlau where scully is reassigned from the x files but mulder isn’t

Untitled AU by @real-cream-cheeseAcademic AU

Untitled AU by @real-cream-cheeseset post-orison/pre-en ami, pure angst

Untitled AU by @spookysadsophiePrompt: Mulder and Scully have sex during Pilot, Scully gets pregnant, moves away and meets again at Thanksgiving (prolly a couple of years later) bc Mrs Scully invites him.

Untitled AU by @scapegrace74-blogRoyalty AU

[firelord-frowny]

I’ve talked a little bit about how at least one ~negative aspect~ of white supremacy/racism that impacts white people is that it can be SO DIFFICULT to avoid being Accidentally Racist over something that really shouldn’t have been that deep, and WOULDN’T have been that deep if not for the pervasiveness of white supremacy in america, and this bit about the lil country band Lady Antebellum and the controversy surrounding their name illustrates that pretty well, I think:

The band members have always said that the band's name was chosen arbitrarily, complaining about the difficulty of choosing a name. Inspired by the "country" style nostalgia of a photo shoot at a mansion from the Antebellum South, they said, "one of us said the word and we all kind of stopped and said, man, that could be a name"[40] and "Man that's a beautiful Antebellum house, and that's cool, maybe there's a haunted ghost or something in there like Lady Antebellum."[41] Haywood concluded, "[We] had a lady in the group, obviously, and threw Lady in the front of it for no reason. I wish we had a great resounding story to remember for the name, but it stuck ever since."[40] The name was always controversial, with a critic in Ms. Magazine writing in 2011 that the band's name "seems to me an example of the way we still — nearly 150 years after the end of the Civil War, nearly 50 years after the Civil Rights Act; and in a supposedly post-racial country led by a biracial president — glorify a culture that was based on the violent oppression of people of color".[41][42]

On June 11, 2020, joining widespread commercial response to the George Floyd protests,[41] the band announced it would abbreviate its name to its existing nickname "Lady A"[43] in an attempt to blunt the name's racist connotations.[1] The band members stated on social media that, never having previously sought the dictionary definition of the word "antebellum", they now consulted their "closest black friends and colleagues" so that their "eyes opened wide to the injustices, inequality and biases black women and men have always faced and continue to face every day. Now, blind spots we didn't even know existed have been revealed."[44] Fan response was mixed, with many decrying virtue signaling or even disparaging the protests.[41]American Songwriter said, "Given that the world knows what that A stands for, to many this change does little more than add extra insult to this ongoing injury."[45]

The next day, it was widely reported that the name "Lady A" had already been in use for more than 20 years by Seattle-based African American activist and blues, soul, funk, and gospel singer Anita White. The band again admitted ignorance of any prior use, which White called "pure privilege". Interviewed by Rolling Stone, White described the band's token acknowledgement of racism while blithely appropriating an African American artist's name: "They're using the name because of a Black Lives Matter incident that, for them, is just a moment in time. If it mattered, it would have mattered to them before. It shouldn't have taken George Floyd to die for them to realize that their name had a slave reference to it. It's an opportunity for them to pretend they're not racist". A veteran music industry lawyer observed that such name clashes are uncommon due to the existence of the Internet.[46][47] The band members contacted White the next week to apologize for having inadvertently co-opted and dominated her name,[48] saying that the Black Lives Matter movement had inspired them to a collaborative attitude. They nonetheless required retaining the same name, though she believed dual-naming is inherently impossible.[49]She said "We talked about attempting to co-exist but didn't discuss what that would look like"[48] because the band members would not directly respond to that explicit question three times during the conversation or in two contract drafts. She soon submitted a counteroffer that either the band would be renamed, or that her act would be renamed for a $5 million fee plus a $5 million donation to be split between Seattle charities, a nationwide legal defense fund for independent artists, and Black Lives Matter.[49]

On July 8, 2020, the band filed a lawsuit against White, asking a Nashville court to affirm its longstanding trademark of the name. The press release read: "Today we are sad to share that our sincere hope to join together with Anita White in unity and common purpose has ended. She and her team have demanded a $10 million payment, so reluctantly we have come to the conclusion that we need to ask a court to affirm our right to continue to use the name Lady A, a trademark we have held for many years."[50]

On September 15, 2020, White filed a counter-suit asserting her claim to the Lady A trademark and rejecting the notion that both artists could operate in the same industry under the same brand identity. She is seeking damages for lost sales and a weakened brand, along with royalties from any income the band receives under the Lady A moniker.[51][52]

Like????????? this REALLY didn’t need to be a thing. 

And one thing I think black folks and other poc need to chill out with is dismissing any white person’s attempt at Being Better in how they move through a white supremacist world in a way that seeks to undo or at least not exacerbate white supremacy. I can TOTALLY believe that, in their white ignorant bliss, this band really did choose their name without realizing for a moment that it might leave a fucked up taste in some people’s mouths. Honestly like... antebellum IS a cool sounding word lmfao and if it wasn’t so heavily associated with slavery-era america, i’d wanna name something antebellum, too! 

And like, yes, it’s true that it ~shouldn’t have taken george floyd’s death~ for anyone at all to suddenly decide that they want to go a little bit out of their way to denounce or at least not seem to promote racism in some small way. But it did. And it does. And every fucking time there’s a gross act of violence and injustice acted out on a person of color in front of the world, there’s always going to be a brand new white person out there who Sees The Light for the very first time. That doesn’t mean their new perspective isn’t genuine, and it doesn’t mean it happened All Of A Sudden. If anything, it was something they’d been thinking about for a long time, but didn’t know how to address it, or what to say, or who to say it to, or how to talk about it in their own community. OBVIOUSLY that problem is WAY LESS BAD than, ya know, actually experiencing racism, but it’s still a real thing that some white folks go through, and being mad about it isn’t going to make it NOT a real thing. it shouldn’t have taken george floyd’s death. it shouldn’t have taken trayvon martin’s death. it shouldn’t have taken the instatement of one of the most vile human beings to ever assault the face of the earth for This Person or That Person to finally want to make a positive and public change, BUT IT DID. It always does. That, unfortunately, is How It Works. 

And so, this band adjusts it’s name in an effort to not seem hostile. OBVIOUSLY it’s not a grand show of solidarity. OBVIOUSLY it’s not meant to convince anyone that they’re Super Amazing White People Who Will Stop At Nothing For Racial Equality. It was literally just a small, simple gesture. They’re just modifying their image, because they were no longer comfortable with knowing how that word makes a lot of people feel. Bc like... let’s be real: probably a solid ZERO of their fanbase would have given a shit if they’d just left the name as it was. Nobody who’s going to a Lady Antebellum concert was pouting about the name. And if anything, they prolly stood a better chance of LOSING fans for ~being politically correct~ than gaining fans for changing their name to something less annoying. 

And it JUST SO HAPPENS that the slight lil adjustment they made to their name steps on the toes of an existing artist, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that this artist is black, and is also an ACTIVIST in social and racial justice. 

Oops. 

And so, obviously people don’t interpret it as an honest mistake. Instead, it’s a result of white privilege. And I mean like??? ok, maybe it is. But I ALSO had never heard of Anita White until I read this fucking wiki page lmfao. So like... my ignorance isn’t due to no white privilege on my part. Maybe it’s a consequence of a white supremacist culture that wouldn’t glorify her and celebrate her and put her name everywhere... but that’s a different thing from privilege. 

So now not only are the bands efforts to adjust to a world that’s becoming more aware of racial injustice being dismissed as disingenuous or too-little-too-late, but now they’re ALSO being accused of Using Their White Privilege to trample all over an artist they’d never heard of. 

i DO think that after finding out the name was already taken, and after talking with her about it and determining that she wasn’t interested in sharing - as is her right - they should have just said “ok, sorry, thanks for talking with us about it” and picked something different. i think it’s kinda ridiculous that they think they should sue her and i think she’s HELLA right for suing their asses right back, and I hope she gets her damn money. 

But I’m also cognizant of how emotionally/psychologically upsetting it can feel to have to just Change Your Name after so many years of living with it. It makes sense that despite their desire to adapt and choose a new name that doesn’t make people cringe, they still want to try to hold on to the feeling that THEY associated with their own name. “Lady A” seemed like a happy medium: They can remain Who They Are while also showing that Who They Are is someone who’s not trying to glorify a disgusting era of history. But if “Lady A” isn’t an option... what’s left? What else could they call themselves that wouldn’t feel like a totally new, alien identity?? 

So, I understand how, on an emotional level, they want to fight to keep it. 

But uh. They really need to just Be Sad about it and let it go. Just consider it one of the small, upsetting sacrifices that white folks may sometimes have to make as we ALL struggle and stumble through this fuckin long-ass road of Making The World Less Terrible For People Of Color, and move on. 

But yeah, like. 

It’s fucking ridiculous that this was even an issue, and it was only an issue because of racism!!!!! If white supremacists didn’t manufacture a culture that oppresses people of color and glorifies the pre-civil-war era SPECIFICALLY for the good ol slavery, then perhaps people could wax poetic about the artistic and environmental aesthetic of that era without it being assumed that they Must Be Racist. Bc like??? idk if yall know this lmfao but i LOVE????? colonial american music. like, the kind of stuff with that Ashokan Farewell vibe. I think it sounds beautiful. And i really fuckin love the black spiritual music that was developed in that time. and i think so much of the architecture and fashion was so???? Nice. Just pleasant! But I can’t even get myself to fully enjoy it because of all the fuckin connotations that have been stuck to it. 

A band should be able to name theirself a name without it being such a goddamn fucking cultural crisis. 

But they can’t! And it is! 

Thanks, White Supremacy! 

[kittybellestark]

Okay I think Time Can Heal All, But Maybe Not This has been out long enough that I can actually talk about it

If you haven’t read TCHABMNT yet there’s gonna be some spoilers but you can find it here

EDIT: I forgot to talk about May bc I did this at night when I was really tired and my brain just wanted to talk about Peter ig, that is my absolute bad so I added that in everything else is the same tho

So obvs y’all know I had troubles with getting it published here and there’s still been some struggles but I wanna actually talk about the story.

So I started writing it a few months ago but only got 7 paragraphs in before not knowing where to bring the story. Originally the line “And Peter is terrified” was supposed to end that paragraph.

After that the fic was going to be all fluff and Harley and Tony trying to reassure Peter that his insecurities aren’t going to come to fruition.

But then I had a bad day. And the story had been sitting in my drafts forever. So I figured out how to continue the story.

Make Peter feel alone.

I had to keep the snap canon because otherwise there’s be no other plausible way for all of Peter’s family to just ditch him and for Flash and Peter to become friends.

I had to make it so that everyone in Peter’s life moved on without him.

So May moved to Italy and has a boyfriend who Peter assumes will be her husband by the time he’s 20, she has her dream job and is doing what she loves.

She moved out to Italy to forget Peter. It was for selfish reasons, she lost everything in her life, her husband, his family (Peter’s parents), her parents had died years prior and now Peter is also dead. She’s left alone and she doesn’t know what to do. So May moves to Italy to forget Peter and forget the pain and grief she feels. She doesn’t want to remember him.

By trying to forget she finds a new life. She’s a version of who Peter could have become. May is alone with no one, left behind in a world that lost everything. She has a new family and she can’t give it all up to move half way across the world. May would be uprooting her whole family. She moved on from Peter. Tried her hardest to forget him.

May wants to have a relationship with Peter, she just mentally cannot handle having him back in her life because then that opens up the possibility of Ben being back in her life, or her parents, or Peter’s parents even. By acknowledging that Peter is back for more than a phone call or a FaceTime it’ll send her spiraling. May has crafted this reality for herself and it is safe and she cannot give it up.

She loves Peter, of course she does, but having him back will only hurt her more.

I still think it’s canon, in this story,  that Tony reversed what Thanos did for Peter. And I couldn’t just kill Tony off either because that wouldn’t really be as painful as Peter just not having contact with him after everything.

It’s not because Tony just forgot Peter existed that they don’t really talk at the beginning. Obviously the affect of snapping left Tony seriously injuries and I referenced that in the story, “…Tony needed a lot more attention after the snap due to his injuries…” so Peter doesn’t really have the full idea of what his injuries are like, but I imagine pretty horrible, which would mean that Pepper wouldn’t be able to move him very soon.

Not to mention Morgan, who is born post snap and now the world had doubled in population and suddenly her father is so badly injuries he can’t be moved. That’s traumatizing on a child of her age, and then try and move her into the city?? That’s going to cause lasting affects on her mental health so of course the Starks are going to do what they can for Peter, but they have some really big things they need to deal with too.

But the Starks did move back into the city for him, it’s just a little late, because Peter is now going away for school. It’s not that they didn’t put an effort in to be with him, it’s just that they were spread thin between the Tony’s recovery, having Morgan cope, the company, what’s left of the avengers, trying and get themselves back to the city and being in the midst of what is probably an economic crisis.

When Peter turns 22 there’s a line “Just some empty seats and empty promises,” which isn’t much to go on, but a little bit later when Peter is thirty I wrote that Tony also has an 8 year old son. So Tony and Pepper were supposed to go to Peter’s MIT graduation, but she went into labour and they couldn’t go. It’s such a small little thing that’d be easily missed, but I wanted to sprinkle in that Tony and Pepper were trying to make an effort with Peter at least. But then they have another kid and being parents is hard enough, but now two kids? That’s hard, they’re going to forgot to prioritize Peter, especially when he hasn’t been a priority yet.

I felt it was important to give Peter someone though. Which is why Peter and Flash are friends through the story. It’s unlikely, and it wouldn’t have happened had they not been left behind. In the beginning I had wanted to have Flash and Peter get together romantically at some point, but that felt like a cop out, and too predictable. Which is why Flash ended up with Peter’s P.A, Gwen (yes Gwen Stacy). Having Flash move on with his life could either give Peter the idea that he could have what Flash has, because they’ve been in the same boat forever, or it could lead him to think that he’s incapable of having a life like that.

I had originally written that Peter tells Flash about Spider-Man, about how he can’t put on his suit without getting really bad flashbacks and panic attacks about what happened. But I didn’t want to turn this story to be about Spider-Man, because it’s not. This isn’t about Spider-Man’s struggles to get the suit back on and save people, this is about Peter’s struggles with mental health and his addiction. In my head Peter told Flash when they were still in high school, sitting on the bleachers in the evening, drinking a bottle of whiskey that Flash stole from his Dad’s liquor cabinet, which would also be the beginning to Peter’s alcoholism. But I ultimately didn’t feel like it was necessary to add to the story. It is something I’m willing to write out in the future though.

It felt really important for me to make everything in the story connect with each other. Peter goes to school at MIT, which is in Boston, where Ned lived when he was an adult (and we know that’s also where Tony went to school), and Peter is in California when he meets Harley again, where MJ went to school (Tony also previously lived in Cali). Everything needed to be connected to the life Peter lost. Which is also why there are so many similarities in Peter’s life now and Tony’s life before he settled down.

Tony went to MIT, well now so does Peter. Tony is an alcoholic with preference for whiskey? Yeah, Peter too. Tony is pretty much alone except for Rhodey? Peter is also alone, but he has Flash. Tony had suicidal and self-destructive tendencies? Peter has only tried killing himself multiple times. By making Peter into a version of Tony, it brings a reference to SM:HC, where Peter says after the ferry boat accident, “I just wanted to be like you” and Tony responds “And I wanted you to be better.” Peter is Tony, he’s just found fame and fortune at a different time, runs his own company and makes ground-breaking research that will help the world.

It’s why Peter is so hurt when he’s called (look a SM:FFH reference) “The Next Tony Stark.” He already is Tony Stark, except he doesn’t have the happiness or the family Tony currently has. Peter just has Flash and his assistant Gwen (just like young Tony only had Rhodey and Pepper). Peter being a version of Tony Stark, he can’t really see an escape. He is so horribly hurt and the only way he can see there being peace in his life is if he isn’t alive. Which is why he continues to try and kill himself.

I didn’t want Peter to die though, I wanted him to find something that would make life tolerable. Which is why I reintroduced Harley. Peter tries to ignore Harley, pretend he doesn’t recognize him, because Peter doesn’t want to remember his past and who he was and what he lost anymore. Harley being there is such a big reminder of who he used to be and who he wants to be, that Peter wants Harley to go away. He doesn’t acknowledge that he knows Harley, even when Harley all but says ‘I’m Harley Keener’ to Peter. At this point in the story Peter made up his mind that he is going to die. There was no other option, but then this beacon of hope shows up and Peter doesn’t want it anymore.

I think by reintroducing Harley it was important to never say that Peter and Harley end up together or that they’re still in contact. I left that pretty open ended because Harley just swooped in at the last second and stopped Peter from killing himself. Peter’s recovery is clearly not an easy one because that was when Peter is 30 and it’s only when Peter turns 32 that he’s one month sober. It was important that you don’t know who is Peter’s family. Because maybe it’s not the Starks or MJ and Ned or Harley or May. Maybe Peter moved on from his past they way they all had and has finally made peace with life, or maybe Peter’s past is now in his life again and he’s happy because he has what he always missed.

Everything in this story was so deliberate and there’s so much that I did that’s just these small little things and I love it so much. I think it was important to see Peter struggle with life and death and his mental illnesses.

So yeah, I’m completely in love with this story and if you guys have any questions about it please send me some asks and I’ll totally answer them, I’m just not over this story yet and I really want to talk about it some more !!

[sistersblack]

okay something went wrong with the draft but @ the anon who sent me this, here’s the answer skfhbd

ahh sorry this sat in my ask for a few days, but i’m glad you liked them!! i love thinking about them fjdks

for eileen in general, i’ve been playing around with a prequel to my bang fic that focuses on eileen and how she ends up in cokeworth, but who knows if that’ll ever happen, so have some bullet points instead (tw for allusions to family violence)

she’s a pureblood (it seems odd to me that teenage severus would take pride in calling himself ‘the half-blood prince’ if he came from a half-blood prince) but the prince family isn’t in the same realm as, say, the malfoys or blacks. i like the idea that they aren’t originally english (i usually go for slavic; am also partial to romani).

i tend to picture her with a distant mother (possibly died young) and an overbearing father. i can imagine her father wanting to ~better the family’s status & perhaps pushing for her to marry a Respectable Pureblood (for all the good it does him). i always, for some reason, picture her father’s name as atticus????

probably obvious that i think she was at school with key players in both wars (minerva, abraxas, possibly tom riddle himself) though whether they were close in age changes from concept to concept.

i don’t think she left the wizarding world immediately. her and abraxas are estimated to have been born around the same time, and bc of the age difference between severus & lucius, i think she was around for four or five years post-school. my hc for what she’s doing during that time also tends to jump around a bit, but i love the idea that she was powerful in some way and sought after because of it (maybe potions? curses? occlumency/legilimency? something she passed to her son?)

either way, i’d say she’s around long enough to (1) notice the war brewing & (2) become disillusioned with it. in general i picture eileen as world-weary and apathetic. i think she cares more about self-preservation than the so-called Greater Good and doesn’t quite understand her son’s extremes (either of them).

she hates albus dumbledore. has hated albus dumbledore since she was a student. after severus’ time as a student, she will 10/10 strangle albus dumbledore with her bare hands if ever in the same room as him. (this only worsens in the au where she’s alive for the second war.)

she meets tobias by chance. it’s a whirlwind romance, happens so quickly she can barely keep track of it. it’s refreshing, at first, to be with someone so detached from the wizarding world. she falls in love with the novelty of it.

the pregnancy is a surprise; she hadn’t meant for it to happen, and she doesn’t want to keep it, but tobias says there are rules about that sort of thing where he’s from, and so she reluctantly goes along with the wedding. (she’d been looking for a way out of the wizarding world, anyway. what better way than disgracing yourself and the family name in the eyes of all your acquaintances?)

she doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body. being a good mother requires an effort she hadn’t anticipated, and often she’s too exhausted to give it. it’s not that she doesn’t try (she does, she loves her boy) it’s that it isn’t always easy, less so as tobias’ moods worsen.

she doesn’t tell tobias about her magical heritage until it’s too late to back out (post pregnancy/wedding). it’s the first real rift in their relationship.

when severus is old enough (and even when he’s not), she feeds him knowledge. not just to quell his curiosity, but also because sometimes it’s the only thing she’s got to offer.

severus learns the word mudblood from his mother. it’s spat in the heat of an argument following the first time tobias lays a hand on him.

she’s more of a natural witch. more brewing & wandless magic than wand-waving, both by preference but also as a result of living with tobias.

she regrets leaving the wizarding world and simultaneously does not want to go back.

she resents severus’ love for magic in a way that’s sort of inexplicable. she knows she shouldn’t: severus is young and curious and magic is his safe space, but there’s always something bitter that flashes when she sees his eyes light up at the mention of it. she can’t help but think all that hope is a stepping stone to disappointment.

her relationship with her son strains over time, especially as he falls deeper into death eater rhetoric.

aaaand these are all i can think of right now. i know i’ve got more but i’ve been doing uni work all day my brain is fried fjdksk