#ppl deal with just so MUCH these days
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hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy
oh thanks! i could always use more spices-
. what am i supposed to do with this.
#surrounded by henchmen (smaller Me's) i peer reproachfully into my inbox#2: ...get him pregnant?#*slaps 2 upside the head* you absolute GOON he's ALREADY pregnant we can't get him DOUBLE pregnant#2: well... why not? if creatures can have two uteri then i don't see why--#Me: *drags my hand down my face* yes i know but. just. dont#3: Picture this. your snake wife is so full and round (because who knows how many snakelets are in there)#3: one day he has to stop working much earlier than usual. u kno. cuz of the MASS. and he starts getting insecure about his body changes#3: so he touches his tummy . looks up at you with those big eyes and murmurs 'am i... unsightly like this?'#3: and u whisper reassurances to him while kissing his face#3: then u promptly rail him on the nearest comfortable surface to erase any doubt of him being unattractive#Me: ..............WHAT THE FUFK?#3: *shrugs aggressively while maintaining eye contact*#Me: NO. pregnancy isn't even our kink. why are we-#3: not YOUR kink maybe#Me: *incredulous stare* how the-- you know what . Go to the timeout zone. i'm not dealing with this today#4: the ask says 'snakumo' though. Wouldn't he be in snake form then...?#3: so? THIS CHANGES NOTHING.#Me: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#3: *rolls eyes and mutters while walking away*#5: who's greg?#4: dude you can't be serious. if WE know the meme then YOU know the meme#5: i'm serious. i haven't been online in 16 years#4: look. when you wonder if sex will hurt baby top of head-#Me: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS?#2: because we are currently engaged in a circle of ppl squicked by pregnancy... who must make pregnancy jokes#4: it's all about the joke potential ya see. gigglemaxxing#Me: *massaging my temples* i'm not ready to be a father. i never will be.#6: KNOCK HIM UP AND EAT HIS EGGS SO U CAN KNOCK HIM UP AGAIN. NO ONE SAID YOU HAVE TO BE A FATHER !#3: (muffled from a distance) HELL YEAH BROTHER#Me: SHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This might be a hot take(?) but i do like how Eddy become more grumpy as the show went between seasons
Of course he is more mean and kinda more aggressive with his friends.
But i think it's a great way to show how trauma can affect your personality, especially when it comes to physical abuse. Not every child that suffers like that is quiet and shy, some of them can mirror the bad traits of their abuser and they're just as valid to get love and support.
#Eddy's character has to be the most interesting among all the characters i love that ugly short king so much#he does act greedy he lies and he also yells a lot but it so so normal for a kid who suffer abuse from an adult#i found so sad how ppl will tell you he is the worst of the eds just for the way he is#despite the fact he has the WORST situation between the three of them#with all this i'm not defending his behaviour! it's still wrong and he should be better than that but as i said he is a kid!!#this doesn't mean i don't love chill eddy ofc!! but i do think the latter works better for his character arc#idk if he would ever do stuff like therapy but i do think he would reach a point where he is tired of just... being angry#i do agree with the hc that he is not the type of just having one job i do think the little bastard will have multiple part time jobs#he is unable to remain in one thing and he does have curiosity for everything#but aside from all that i just like the idea of him getting away of his family. not in the sense of never speaking to them#but more like... not having to deal with them every day.#that's when i think his more chill yet cheeky self will go back to him ahaha#also he is dating double d ofc#there's no future where i don't see them together giendkdn#don't think they marry or anything. but they would grow old together and Ed lives in the basement#eene
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🌙☁️🌌
#evenings and nights are always the worst for me#when i feel this lonely.... :(((#when you're alone the nights are the worst bc#u dont have anyone at all really.. and it gets so obvious at night#just .. the loneliness gets intensified#and i can compare bc#there was a period of time where i talked to someone everyday#and i looked forward to the nights and their messages and comforing goodnight messages#and so i know firsthand what big of a difference that makes#for years and years i've had these bad loneliness feelings tho.. so it's not smth new#but it gets harder and harder to deal with them. esp as the world outside is getting colder and crueler#and people only get more and more mean#plus when i do have smth wonderful that made me warm and happy and comforted that i dont have anymore#and can compare and know what im missing#it does get harder :c#i try to watch videos and think of other things but oh god this loneliness hurts so damn much i crumble underneath the weight of it#maybe life will get better dealing with it all if i have a stable income and an apartment with my pets#and go to work all day and come home too tired to feel lonely... idk?#im so scared i'll never find someone that i can be together with. bc i think im the kind of person who needs that#but im also so different and difficult and idk how and if it'll happen....#and how do i live with these heavy painful feelings of extreme loneliness ? idk :c#i try mindfulness too. and listening to music. and reading. and cuddling my pets#but im just a human. i want someone i love to hold me and fall asleep with them close to me.#i wanna lie in bed and talk to them abt anything bc between us it is a judgement free zone#despite what ppl say i am not weak for needing and wanting that. and being incredibly alone without it.#it's what i need and want but idk if i ever will and the thought of being stuck with this heavy loneliness all my life makes me wanna die#ok. peace out 😑✌️
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i miss 2021 genshinblr sm im ngl 😞😞😞
#the vibes were like no other actually AHJAHJJHAHJA#ik that it was like that because of the pandemic but there was really that sense of closeness in the community that you couldnt#get anywhere else.#and 2021blr was where i met most of my besties who (some) eventually bcame my irl friends!!!!#and all the character anons rp blogs events tag games everything#was quite lovely! i loved talking to people sm back then#people interacted with each other despite being part of different cliques and you'll see ppl reblogging from others and it felt#like a crossover episode of a multiverse sometimes LOL#and i remember cranking out fics every single day that was crazy i was truly in my writer period#but i just remember having fun. literally just having fun and not caring that my works were “not good” at all#because i was writing every single day out of the love for it.#and that's what matters the most#and also the theme changes every single week dude that shit was crazy#if anyone is here and remembers the ol syrup discourse of genshinblr 21 teheee#it was such a cute community though. loved it to bits and i love it to bits#genshinblr 22-24 is great but idk i feel like once the pandemic kind of settled down there was that detachment#maybe i miss being chronically online and not having to deal with anything HJAAJHJHEJHA#2021 was the year before my national exams and i remember attending online lectures and studying with my friends and idk i rmb so much ac#AHH AND ALSO dalgona and bbt at home omg#and everyone started learning guitar..#im going insane over this HJAJEJHJAEHAHJEHJEA to q k a a k c e s t j g b l y p s l t you know who u are#im grateful every day that you guys are still here and thriving#and i love u all sm hehe#― ying talks.#thoughts over AHAHAHA ty for dealing with me
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the extreme in italics too? i'm imagining them like that gif of that person walking on the street recoiling in horror at zoomed in shots of lesbian behavior except in this case it's like...two references to hormone potions
transphobes will get mad any time they're put in a situation where they are forced to acknowledge the fact that trans people exist
#tried to articulate my thoughts more but honestly this is all it is at the end of the day#i get it all the time with tnp cus i dont advertise it as a trans story#the most i do is put it in the lgbt tag on itchio#so people tend to get real mad when it is revealed in game. i've been dealing with it since i started#it's weird. it fluctuates#just talking abt how i feel like attitude around merry has changed recently#but not too long ago when i genderlocked Noel i had a lot of ppl mad then#bc xe uses neopronouns and now i was FORCING everyone to acknowledge them and use them#whereas before they could pick another set of pronouns and ignore it#i know ppl ignore it about merry and lea#and ppl just straight up misgendered clem for a long time lmfao#i think recently adding in everyone introducing themselves w their pronouns was too much for some ppl too#like i said the more they are forced to acknowledge the fact trans ppl exist the angrier they will get#cus they have no empathy or compassion for us#um. but also i think it's bc ppl have been recommending tnp as a game that's like the witcher all over reddit recently#so........ lol#this is not the game those ppl are expecting#ask#anonymous#transphobia
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the communities thing looks cool I won't lie.. but I am in agreement with a lot of folks who worry about it becoming super exclusive. And tumblr already has that huge ass problem as it is.
#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc#i personally have so much beef with a lot of tumblrs fucking cliques i could go on all day#like imagine thinking you're better than someone cuz you rp fictional characters online with strangers all day gtf out my face#we're all a bunch of losers here just trying to have fun and do a little escape from our day to day lives#bring that shit on here with petty ass drama about things that in hindsight dont even matter#if you're constantly needing online validation to make it seem like you are worth something you need to work on loving yourself more#the way some ppl on here act like roleplay gonna fix your problems#no boo#you actually have to deal with yourself at the end of the day#your blooming aesthetic your purple prose writing you're teeheee im depressed and i have mental illnesses aint cute when you are actually#just a shit person#and I need ppl to start acting right fndsklfnldksf#SORRY I WENT OFF IM JUST#pPL BRP
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me when ihave a dream about my 3rh closest friends all beyeaying me 🤯🤯🤯
#vent#duh#it was sostupid too im jjst. an idiot and emotional and i hate being left out and everyoneknows that wnd that dream has genunlu runed my day#woke up sobbing oops!and in that drupid thing everyome was like get over it itsnkt a big deal like ok sorry. sorry sorrywjqyever#amd none of themare here rigjt now and i miss them all so much and its not fair because ik they wuld never just abandon me for eahc otherbut#everytime i introduce my feiends to each other its like oh duh juli they like each other more! what did u expect! and im the stupidone for#feeling upset at being left out asthey go on witjout me and its like ok talk witjoug me whatever idc but. reallh. really#i was gonan wake up early and do all this stuff but i dont wang to get up anymote im so tired already i feel horrible#idec ab the otjer ppl calling me atupid and emotional or whatever buf ughj b#on the other hand in that dream i did a one pull and got childe twice excepf there were 2 versions of him for some reason???#like u could be childe OR tartaglia ?! idek what fhe difference was one jusg looked younger#erm. anwyay ☺️#post#maes tag#to delete#actually idk if fheyre aroun d rn im kind of too scared to do anything relagimg to them bc what if my nightmare was True!#(def wasnt)
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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my school district has like a student ran instagram page that's supposed to like give us non biased info about everything happening . and they just did a post about all the board representatives. and ughhhh. every single person on that god damn board is dedicated to parental rights in education (which basically just means parents controlling everything their kid learns) and being very anti trans and very conservative which is. so fucking fun. smiley face.
#like last year they banned trans girls from sports#emailed EVERY PARENT at a high school bc a trans girl was using the girls rest room#which then made it so u have to use the bathroom that matches ur sex#AND if you want to be called anything other than ur legal name u have to have written parental consent#but of course. they only care about that rule when it applies to trans kids. they don't care about Madeline wanting to be called Maddy#and its SUCH BULLSHIT because even when my mom puts 'blue' in the nick name spot while registering me for school#and even when she gives the counselor her consent#nothing changes and i have to go around telling each and every fucking teacher and its so fucking humiliating and fucking stupid#and whenever there's a substitute the wholleeee entire class learns by birthname and its so fucking humiliating and then they ask questions#and it just fucking sucks so fucking bad#god im fucking . the first week of school#plus. i have like 3 classes that i know i'm changing. but i cant change them until 2 days after school starts!!!#so i either have to go through the process of correcting ppl on my name twice#or i have to deal with being dead named and having dozens of students know me as my birthname#its such fucking bullshit and i hate it so so fucking much and its not fair
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i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get
#like i convinced myself the only way to deal with my pain and my problems was to attempt suicide so people would know i was suffering#bc i wasn't able to tell them#and i really really for real believed it and i did exactly that and it's very scary to think my mind can get so twisted and believe these#distorted versions of reality or twisted ways to get what i need or all the negative things i think of myself#and like i guess this is just part of working on getting rid of these beliefs. that i'm realising just how deep in them i am and that it#scares me#but it's not a nice feeling. i'm really trying not to judge myself for it that's not useful. i'm still learning how to not judge myself#for every little thing but god it's hard i'm so used to thinking i'm too much or not enough or too emotional or too stupid or inadequate et#just every bad thing under the sun#but even trying my hardest to mantain like a non judgmental view of this issue... the fear is the hardest part rn#it's just... i don't even know who i am? and that's also something we're gonna work on and started to a little#but i don't know who i am and so i just believe abt myself whatever the situation leads me to believe. whatever my bpd leads me to believe#whatever others lead me to believe#and the last one especially is perhaps my biggest issue. i don't know myself and i don't like what “myself” currently is and i live for#other people i live to please others i do things so others will like me or at least not dislike me so i can hate myself less#and really that's no way to live. and this is something this therapist is making me realize and understand#but it's just seriously so.... scary all of this all of this realizing i'm just an empty vessel that i fill up depending on the person i'm#interacting with and that i am.. nothing. like not nothing but like nico is not a formed person. i have molded myself to other ppl's tastes#and needs and if i try to look beyond that there's just this void or at least this question mark#i don't think i have like no personality? but well i do have a personality disorder so that's fucked me up! and it's! aaaa!!#if i think about the things i have convinced myself of by sheer repeating thek to myself all the time in my dark moments...idk#and like it was manageable when the dark moments had reduced and i was relatively okay. but as soon as i got bad again... oh#it started being a constant bombardment of negative talk to myself abt myself and a constant telling myself#well pretty much that there is no worth to be found inside myself. so unless this pain somehow goes away by itself i'll kill myself#that was basically my train of thought every day multiple times a day for months and months#that is scary!!!!!!!! that is so!!!! i'm so#sorry this is a mess. i'm trying not to cry bc i'm at my parents' house and my father's around but. yeah. just lots of feelings#and again it's probably normal i mean talking about these things is good! but feelings are bound to arise and some are hard to deal with#suicide tw#sorry i forgot the tw in my being upset in the moment
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experiencing any level of joint pain for longer than a day or two has only reinforced my belief that ppl with chronic pain are actually the strongest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet
#marzi speaks#hi. my knees r still kinda fucked up. at some point a few days ago i hyperextended my elbows#so now those have been hurting#my traps r fucked bc i’ve been stressed and those are prone to holding tension in me#my knee pain made me walk wrong for a little bit so now i’m trying to fix that to alleviate the foot and ankle pain#oh yeah. my thumb is still tender for some reason despite the tendonitis having been healed as well#the only part of my body that hasn’t betrayed me as of yet is my spine and pelvis#i am so sick of moving and having it hurt#and like i can go about my day n shit. and have a good time#but it is always there and it is fucking annoyingggg#and ppl with chronic pain just live their whole lives like this.#and they don’t blow up and attack anyone who treats them shitty about it#and i am amazed#bc i talked to my dad abt maybe going to the doctor abt my knees to see what’s going on#bc i don’t remember injuring them at all and i don’t really feel too much improvement on a day to day#and he just gave me a stretch to do about it#now the stretch helps. but my knees still hurt. so like. what do u want from me#if i were to bring it up again he’d probably say it wasn’t a big deal. he’s seen me hobble around the house n how slow i’m moving rn#i normally run around my house. i have been walking at a pace that pisses me off bc i’m impatient#even just having like. worries that are probably exagerrated get dismissed like that has kinda made me wanna kill him a little bit#and this is something that i know is gonna heal and get better#ppl with chronic pain don’t Get That. and they are still dismissed constantly#how do you not like. murder everyone around you. the infinite patience. genuinely the strongest among us#i didn’t mean to complain in these tags as much as i did (my knees r actually doing pretty ok rn and my ankles are getting better)#but i suppose i am bitter
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#god i have such a migraine i Rly do not need to be dealing w my mother's bullshit tonight#yes yeah lets go on a rant abt how much u hate having me around bc im disabled and cant do things myself#and rn can barely get out of bed let alone make food for myself#so u *offered* to make me dinner and when i accepted that offer and asked for a safe food so i wouldnt set off my other health issues#u threw a Fit bc it takes more than 10 mins to make and now ur storming around huffing and puffing#and going on abt how ur apparently my slave and i take advantage of u#...whaT?#i didnt ask u to do anything. u offered. and since then i've told u 4 times to just forget it nvm i'll skip dinner#but bc u know i have severe blood sugar issues and that would be bad for me u r now claiming ur 'trapped' doing this#aight#ok#just cut the shit and tell me u think im a burden and h8 me for existing#and that ur mother was right when she said i ruined ur life by being born the way i am#im so so tired of this fucking bullshit dance u keep doing#i get it u wish i was either normal or dead#sadly i am not. but ur truly making me consider the latter option these days jfc#ughhshshsjdj#ableism#ask to tag#fr tell me and i'll tag this w w/e u need i dont wanna trigger ppl w her nonsense#im too tired to even consider all the applicable tags rn#but just lmk
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after realizing his feelings towards ken are romantic+sexual the first thing farfarello would do is consider the pros and cons of committing murder-suicide so he wouldn't have to deal with all that
#text#ken x farfarello#kenfarello#he would be thinking about killing Ken nonstop for days. but he wouldn't be able to bring himself to actually do it#at whatever point he's able to realize what the nature of his feelings are. ITS TOO LATEEE#hes grown too attached and can't put an end to things with something as permanent as death#and so He will have to deal with All That.#i think he would be kinda pissed about experiencing romantic feelings. i also think it would be his first time with it too.#romance isn't something hes had interest in until this point. been too busy focusing on his hobbies (murder and blasphemy)#+not like hes had much people experience. closest thing hes getting to interacting with ppl outside of schwarz is when hes killing them.#so theres been no previous opportunity for romance......... until ep 18#which is where i think the kenfarello mutual obsession should begin at☝️#so this is completely new territory for him and along with being pissed theres also a lot of apprehension#because he doesnt know how hes supposed to deal with those kind of feelings#at one point he considers just killing himself to avoid having to deal with it#which is when Schuldig asks Crawford if they should bring out the straightjacket#<ok im gonna go to sleep now i think
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#i didnt get this job i was really hoping to get and my current job is terrible#and just feel not great :(#fucking 4 year theatre degree and i couldnt get a costume repair job ?#it paid so much more than this one too and it wouldnt be retail im just upset i cant deal with ppl yelling at me all day anymore
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feeling like im being driven to my execution (its a drs appointment)
#p#also thats a little dramatic but i do hate them so much#i was feelin like well ill be uncomfortable n miserable but its not the end of the world#buuuut then i remembered (TMI AHEAD U HAVE BEEN WARNED)#that last month ish when i was here for an actual concern (n agreed to this physical bleh)#i was told im overdue for another pap smear n like they cant force me into it ofc but i know its smart to do it#cuz i already have lots of anxieties abt what if i secretly have some disease or condition n im gonna die blah blah blahh#but last time it was so awful n i was like crying thru it cuz of the pain which. isnt normal#googling it afterwards i found ppl saying stuff like 'it might be weird n uncomfortable but not too bad'#so i was like well ok thats just me then i guess :/#n anyway i def think i have that condition called w/e cuz ive never been able to do any kind of like. anything in there#not like day to day its a huge deal but for this its not too fortunate :/#so long story short i remembered ill have to decide if ill let them do it again at this appt#n i was reading abt the process again n then uh oh crying -_-#omw now n idk what ill do tbh. def wanna say no but also idk i shld be responsible or smth#dies instead.#n anyway even if its just the super basic physical theyre gonna do ill still wanna become an incorporeal entity thing#hate it hereeeee (body)#its a PA im seeing who i remember being nice some other time i saw her so theres that at least#theyre gonna wanna weigh me tho i forgot that too jeez#i said no last time but idk. kms
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