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sturniluvr · 4 months

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Love in the sun

Lando Norris x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none other than a few mentions of children (if you don’t like kids😭) possible spelling mistakes(?)

summary: Lando and Y/N go on holiday together during the summer break and come home engaged.

A/N: Keep in mind throughout that I have no idea how the luxury life works im broke asf so it may be inaccurate😭and sorry for quite a few time skips I had a bit of writers block😭

❗️semi proof read❗️

Y/N and Lando were currently halfway through their flight en route to Mykonos for a week while Lando had the summer break. The couple had a few things pre planned for the week in Greece such as a party boat they had booked prior to the holiday and Y/N was hoping for no more injuries on Lando's end after the incident in Amsterdam and going to a few tourist attractions, but they mostly just wanted to spend time with each other, they didn’t care what they were doing as long as they were together, and of course they were staying with Hilton as the couple always had the best experiences with Hilton hotels and being a sponsor of McLaren, it was only right they chose Hilton.

Lando was scrolling on his phone and he felt a weight on his shoulder, he looked to his side and saw his girlfriend asleep on his shoulder. The love of his life, his best friend, his girl and hopefully, soon, his wife. She had been by his side since before he made it into f1, he remembers vividly how excited she was when he told her he was offered a seat with McLaren, she seemed more excited than he was, and she hadn’t left his side since. He smiled at the memory. He had a whole plan set in place to propose to Y/N, he couldn’t wait to propose to her, he had brought the ring around 2 years into the relationship when he was out with Max and he saw the perfect ring that just screamed Y/N to him and he’d just been waiting for the perfect moment, which was this holiday and also their 5 year anniversary.

time skip to landing

Lando was looking out the window in his own world when he heard the pilot over the intercom.

“Mr Norris, we will be starting descent in Mykonos in about 10 minutes so please get ready to fasten your seatbelt sir.” On cue, he saw the little seatbelt light come on above his head. He gently shook Y/N to wake her up.

“Darling, we’ll be landing soon, you need to put your seatbelt on.” He spoke quietly as he knows she doesn’t like loud noises when she first wakes up. She stirs and slowly opens her eyes and lifted her head off Lando’s shoulder. Lando looked at her with a soft smile and a little chuckle escaped his lips at the sight of the woman’s messy hair.

“Hey sleepy head, pilot just said to put our belts on we’ll be descending soon.” She nodded at him as she fixed her hair and put her belt on, Lando doing the same next to her.

As they got closer to the ground, Y/N grabbed hold on Lando’s hand to comfort herself as landing was probably her least favourite part of flying and he rubbed her knuckles in a comforting manner.

After landing, they grabbed their luggage and made their way to the chauffeur who led them to the car provided by Hilton to take them to the hotel.

small time skip cus I’m lazy

They arrived to their room in the hotel and unpacked their suitcases and got changed into some clothes more suited to the warm climate of the island they were on for the next two weeks as they had an early flight and when the couple arrived it was only early afternoon After changing, Y/N and Lando left the hotel and went for a small walk around the town and get anything little essentials they may need while on holiday like bottles of water, snacks for the hotel room etc.

“Don’t forget we need to buy sunscreen aswel, since somebody left it behind being the clever clogs he is.” Y/N said, giving Lando a cheeky smile.

“Ha Ha, very funny cheeky.” Lando replied sarcastically, pinching her side softly. The couple laughed as they continued to walk in and out of shops and buy the essentials.

Later on that day, Y/N was relaxing on a sunbed reading her book and Lando was next to her on another sunbed with his hat over his eyes. About half hour later, Y/N was now lying on her stomach so she could tan her back aswel as her front and she felt a pair of hands smack her bum. She looked behind to see her boyfriend with a boyish smile on his face, she smiled back at him and rolled her eyes jokingly at his actions.

“Do you want another drink baby? I'm going to the bar.” Lando stated and she nodded.

“Same again please Lan, I'm going to head up to the room for a little siesta, it’s getting pretty warm out here.” He nodded in understanding knowing how easily the heat got to her sometimes, that’s why he always made sure she was well hydrated and was taking care of herself.

“Okay baby, I’ll grab our drinks and I’ll come up aswel and have a quick shower or something.” She nodded at her boyfriend before he left to go get their drinks from the bar. She packed up everything she had brought down to the pool with her and made her way into the hotel and up to their room.

couple days later

Y/N was relaxing on the balcony of the hotel room while waiting for Lando to get back, he’d told her he was going out to get some more water for the room when in reality he was sat in the hotel reception talking on the phone to the manager of the restaurant he was planning to take Y/N to on the last day of the holiday, their anniversary, to finalise any details about the proposal and the booking details.

“So, you’ll tell her you’re going to the bathroom and one of our waiters will lead her out to the beach? Is that correct Mr Norris?” the manager asked Lando over the phone.

“Yes, that is correct. Thank you again for helping me with this. It means a lot.” Lando replied, the manager smiled at the idea of young love.

“It's quite alright sir. Right, that's all booked and ready for you for a few days' time.”

Once everything was finalised, he thanked the manager and hung up the phone and left the hotel with a small smile on his face at the thought of him proposing to the love of his life in the next couple days and made his way to the little shop 10 minutes from the hotel and grabbed the bottles of water like he had told Y/N he was doing.

He walked back to the hotel and into the hotel room where he was met with the sight of Y/N asleep on the sofa in the living area with the balcony door open to let a breeze in and her book covering her face. He smiled in amusement and put the crate of water bottles down and he made his way over to the sofa. He crouched down in front of her and took her book from off her face, keeping his thumb on the page so she wouldn’t lose her page and quickly put her bookmark in place before closing it. He gently shook her awake.

“Wake up sleepy head. We need to go downstairs for lunch soon.” She opened her eyes lazily and looked at Lando with a sleepy smile which he returned with a smile of his own. She slowly sat up and picked up her half drunk bottle of water off the table in front of her.

“Hey pretty girl, the sun tired you out huh?” He joked, stroking her thigh. She nodded softly before speaking.

“Yeah, and it didn’t help next door had a crying baby and I couldn’t focus on my book, so I just came inside.” Lando chuckled at her response.

“We’ll be heading down for lunch in a minute if you wanna go freshen up a bit beforehand.” The curly haired boy spoke, Y/N nodded and made her way to their bedroom to put a clean top on as she had some sweat stains that didn’t look flattering at all and touched up the small amount of makeup she had on which consisted of just concealer, mascara and some lip balm.

The couple both headed down to lunch, indulging in conversation about the most random topics causing them both to start laughing. The couple were suddenly interrupted by a little girl, who looked no older than 5 and had a little bunny stuffed animal in her arms, who came up to them and tapped Y/N’s arm softly.

“Excuse me miss, can you help me find my mummy. I was with her and my older brother and now I can’t find them.” The older woman’s eyes softened at the sight of the tears in the little girl's eyes. She nodded at her.

“Of course, sweetheart. What’s your name?” Y/N spoke in a gentle tone.

“Emily, I’m sorry for interrupting you two, but I recognised Lando because Jack my brother is a formula one fan and I’ve seen him on tv, so I thought you two seemed safe rather than a complete stranger.” Emily admitted shyly, Lando nodded at her with a smile before the couple stood up to help her find her brother and mum.

“You did the right thing sweetie. C’mon we’ll help you find your mum” Lando spoke, he held the little girl's small hand in his and the three of them made their way over to the front desk at reception.

“Excuse me, this little girl has lost her mum. Do you have any idea where she could be?” Y/N asked the lady on the front desk. She nodded and made her way around to the front of the desk so she could talk to Emily.

“What does your mum look like sweetheart?” She asked as she crouched down to her size.

“Brown hair, green eyes, she had a long blue dress on, she was with my older brother who was wearing red swim shorts and a Minecraft t-shirt” the receptionist nodded at her. All of a sudden, they heard the voice of a woman, Y/N looked up to see a woman matching Emily’s description of her mother.

“Emily! There you are baby!” She ran over and gave her a quick hug. Emily pointed to the three other adults before she spoke to her mum.

“The helped me mummy. Lando and his girlfriend helped me find you and the nice lady on reception!” Emily walked over to Y/N and gave her a hug which Y/N reciprocated.

“Thank you.” Emily muttered smiling up at the couple. They both smiled at her.

“Thank you for helping my daughter, we were so worried!” Her mum exclaimed.

“It’s fine honestly! I can’t imagine how worried I’d be if I’d lost my kid in a resort this big.” She replied, the two women chuckling at her response. Lando looked to Jack and smiled.

“Hey buddy, I hear you’re a formula one fan? Do you want a photo?” He asked and Jack nodded quickly, the children’s mum pulled out her phone and Jack walked over to Lando and the pair took a photo together. Jack said a quick thank you to the driver before the little family headed off and the couple went to their room to get ready for the party boat they were going on later, which thankfully did not end in any injuries on Lando’s part this time.

the last night of the holiday

Tonight was Y/N and Lando’s last night of the holiday, and it was their anniversary. After a morning full of cuddles, kisses, some less PG stuff and exchanging cards and gifts, the couple had spent the rest of the day walking around visiting little landmarks around Mykonos and getting gifts for family members.

They were now currently getting ready to head out to the Italian restaurant Lando had booked for them. Y/N was wearing a flowy white dress that came down to just below her knees and Lando was wearing a plain white dress shirt and some khaki shorts that Y/N had brought him just before they came to Mykonos.

“You ready sweetheart?” Lando shouted to Y/N from the bedroom. She walked in and smiled at him.

“Yup. You ready?” She replied walking into the bedroom smiling at Lando who was sat on the bed. He reached out to her and rested his hands on her waist and pulled her into him, he pulled her down slightly and planted a kiss to her lips.

“You look stunning baby. An absolute princess if you ask me.” he expressed with a small smirk on his face. She grabbed her bag off the bed and grabbed Lando’s hand and the couple made their way out the hotel and to the restaurant.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, the waiter took them to their seats and took their orders, coming back shortly after with the drink orders which was some red wine for both of them. When they had their food brought to them around 20 minutes later, they ate their food while talking about anything they could think of. There was never a dull moment with Y/N and Lando’s conversations.

After eating and having paid the bill. Lando was about to put the plan into motion.

“I’m just gonna head to the bathroom before we leave gorgeous. Won’t be long.” She nodded at Lando, what she didn’t realise was Lando was actually leaving through the back entrance of the restaurant to get to the beach across from the restaurant without Y/N realising.

Shortly after, the waiter came over to Y/N and held his arm out for her to take.

“If you’d like to close your eyes and follow me miss.” he requested. She skeptically complied and took his arm as she closed her eyes, and he took her across to the beach where Lando was waiting by the ocean.

Once she was in front of Lando, he silently thanked the waiter and he left and went back to the restaurant. Lando grabbed Y/N’s hands in his and she took that as a sign to open her eyes and her and Lando were the only ones on the beach and the only sounds was the water crashing onto the sand. Lando began to speak.

“Y/N, from the moment I made it home after our first date when we were 19, I knew you were the one. You’ve been with me through the ups and downs of not only my life, but my entire career and I could not thank you enough. You experienced my first podium with me and my first win and every other milestone in my career and I’ll forever be grateful to have you by my side for everything. My mum always told me as a kid that when I meet the one, I’d feel it. You’re the one Y/N. You’re my person.” Lando announced. Y/N’s hand flew over her mouth as Lando got down onto one knee and pulled out a red velvet box, opening the box to reveal the most stunning diamond ring, tears were welling in both of the adults’ eyes.

“Y/N M/N/ L/N, will you make the happiest man ever and marry me?” He spoke with a hint of emotion in his voice. She vigorously nodded her head, tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Yes Lando! Of course I’ll marry you” she replied. He grinned up at her and placed the ring on her left ring finger as he stood back up, hearing distant claps from people passing by and sat outside the restaurant who had witnessed the proposal. He then cupped her cheeks and pulled her into a passionate kiss full of love. The newly engaged couple pulled out of the kiss and smiled at each other, eyes filled with just as much love as the day they met.

“I love you so much my darling girl. I can’t wait for you to be my wife.” He grinned ear to ear at his now fiancée.

“I love you too my love. I can’t wait to be married to you and spend the rest of our lives together.” She replied, smiling back at her fiancé.

They made their way up the beach, walking along the shore in a comfortable silence. Y/N was first to break the silence.

“Oh my god I just realised I can now put my Pinterest board to use!” She exclaimed in excitement, clapping her hands together with a beaming smile on her face. Lando let out a laugh at her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Y/N wrapped her arm around his waist.

“I knew you’d say that you muppet” Lando joked. She smiled softly up at him.

“We’re both muppets but we’re each other's muppets.” She corrected the driver. He just smiled at his girl.

“That we are beautiful, that we are.” He softly chuckled as they continued to walk down the beach.

Once they got home from Mykonos early the next morning, Y/N and Lando had announced the proposal on social media and rang their families, who were all very happy and excited for the couple.

y/user

Liked by: landonorris, maxfewtrell, pietra.pilao, mclaren and others

y/user: Mykonos with my favourite human, swipe to the end for a surprise👀 (hint: he’s now completely off the market ladies🤭)

tagged: landonorris

comments:

landonorris: had the best time with you beautiful, love you forever🤍

liked by creator❤️

y/user: right back at you my love. Love you more❤️

pietra.pilao: congratulations you two!! So happy! Love you both🫶🏻

liked by: landonorris, y/user

y/user: thank you p! We love you too🫶🏻

mclaren: congratulations to you both!🧡

liked by: landonorris, y/user

lilyzneimer: omg!! Congrats you guys🤍(I better be your bridesmaid y/n/n😉😂)

liked by: landonorris, y/user, oscarpiastri

y/user: thank you lils! You already know you’re my bridesmaid babe!😉😘

liked by lilyzneimer

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landonorris

Liked by: mclaren, y/user, oscarpiastri and others

landonorris: Lando Norriz who?😏 here’s to forever with you my darling girl I can’t wait for you to be Mrs Norris🥂I love you endlessly🤍

tagged: y/user

comments:

y/user: I love you my boy🤍can’t wait to be mrs Norris🤍 (and to use my Pinterest board😝)

liked by creator❤️

landonorris: 😭😭😭 I do love you baby😂❤️

oscarpiastri: congrats mate!👏🏻Love you both!🧡 (Y/N and Lily have already been messaging non-stop about dresses😭)

liked by: y/user, landonorris, lilyzneimer

landonorris: thanks osc!🧡 and trust me mate, I know😭

y/user: watch it you pair, lily will be just as bad when you finally grow a pair and propose osc😌😘

lilyzneimer: yes I will😉😘

oscarpiastri: 👀

maxfewtrell: congrats you pair! Lots of love❤️

liked by: y/user, landonorris

landonorris: cheers mate we love you too❤️

user3: omg my parents!!😭🫶🏻also trust Lando to wear a jumper in Mykonos😭

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🏷️: @allywthsr @idathereader @moonlight-girls-posts @saturnbloom77 @scar-005 @barcelonaloverf1life @shellybee456 @meandjoemama @wellwellwellsposts @charli123456789 @timmy-wife1 @m4rt10ne @tellybearryyyy @hc-dutch @nocoolusernamesavailable-blog @neo-teenkidz @landosgirl97 @promenadewithme

If there’s a line through your name, it wouldn’t let me tag you😭

937 notes · View notes

apo-theosxs · 2 years

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// extra/updated tags because Joshua/Archon’s getting added here.

| ::: [ v ] little more than a memory of a song [ pre incident ] ::: |

#| :: [ at least partially fictional | ooc ] :: |#| : | muse | i have seen an infinite shore. one that stretches out beyond what the mind can comprehend | Sanae | : |#| : | muse | not a god. a star rising in the east | Joshua | : |#| ::: [ v ] little more than a memory of a song [ pre incident ] ::: |

0 notes

misscammiedawn · 7 months

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Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders

I've been meaning to write this since Charmed.

I shall not point fingers or name names but during Charmed 2024 there was a 101 class that taught that it was unsafe to play with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness. The graphic, which I'll paste below, used the word "Can't".

I wanted to speak to that.

Hypnosis has several different definitions. One could go to a hypnosis event and ask every presenter "define hypnosis in a single sentence" and get a different answer every class, likely a few may even contradict.

One such definition I could use is "Hypnosis is an altered state where a hypnotee is lead to a suggestible state where the hypnotee is dissociated from their conscious thinking." though one could say it is "an altered state that leads to breakdown in critical thinking and a heightened state of suggestibility" or you could start talking about the unconscious or subconscious mind.

Fact is, there's a lot of theory work at play and the language we use to shape the concepts isn't as important as understanding the concepts.

Dissociation is a natural part of hypnosis. It's also a natural part of existing. In much pre-talk patter we as hypnotists tend to ask an introduction level hypnotee to think about their experiences with time dilation, with highway hypnosis, with spacing out, with walking into a room and forgetting why you came in there.

Things so normal that as part of rapport, a hypnotist tends to assume the hypnotee can latch on to one of the concepts.

Dissociation is a spectrum. Literally. Within psychology the DES-II tool grades dissociation experiences on a scale, hence the acronym.

Graphic source

When people, including myself at times, describe dissociative disorders they tend to be referring to disorders that focus on dissociation as their main symptom. Depersonalization, Derealization and of course Dissociative Identity Disorder. Over the course of my life I have been diagnosed with all three.

But the scale includes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, both complex and standard. Complex simply refers to a level of trauma that has been ongoing long enough that it is not a single memory or incident that triggers the symptoms.

According to the American Psychiatric Association one in eleven people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their life with 3.5m diagnosed per year in the USA.

Which is to say that dissociating as part of an illness includes 8% of the population. Does that mean 8% of all potential hypnotees are too dangerous to play with?

...the answer is not a clear cut, "no". There is some elevated danger. But rather than teaching people not to play with those who live with these experiences, perhaps we can teach why there should be heightened caution and then allow people to navigate together.

We should always strive to educate and provide tools. When you tell a person they can't do something then they'll just do it without understanding why they aren't supposed to or, worse, predators will find those who were excluded from safer spaces. Harm is not reduced, an educator just gets to walk away from the harm with a simple "I said they shouldn't".

And plus, I said 8% of the general population...

Within hypnosis circles I assure you it is far higher when one factors in that multiple studies have supplied evidence that hypnotic susceptibility increases along with dissociative capacity.

Suffice to say, from utilizing hypnotic susceptibility tests (HGSHS) and dissociative tests (SDD and DES) the more a person dissociates, the more susceptible to hypnosis they are.

The human mind uses dissociation as a way of coping with physical and emotional pain, among other necessary inner needs, and so a person suffering from a mental illness that features dissociation becomes a naturally gifted hypnotee. It's a matter of practicing a skill constantly without realizing that they are refining something useful. Wax-On/Wax-Off.

This leads to a number of safety concerns. We've typed on serious concerns such as altering sense of identity and derealization attacks from lack of grounding. This is a topic near and dear to our heart as we acknowledge that we needed to gain an education in how to safely consent to hypnosis play and failing to do so in the past caused harm to ourselves and to those we played with.

So here's a list of potential dangers in playing with those who are further along the dissociative spectrum, how to mitigate those dangers and create a space where everyone can play safely.

I'll focus on hypnotees with dissociative experiences for the most part as the relationship between dissociation and hypnosis is primarily a concern while the hypnotee is in trance. That having been said I acknowledge that Dom Space connects just as much to the spectrum and an entire new post can be made on the topic of performing hypnosis when you have a dissociative disorder.

Heaven knows it is a topic I study feverishly to maintain safety for myself and those who entrust their mind to my care.

So... with that said, let's talk about the dangers.

Abreactions

This is likely the most common concept that comes up when thinking of the relationship between PTSD and hypnosis. An abreaction is the moment a hypnosis session or scene goes off the rails because the hypnotee is actively reacting to a trauma trigger while they are in a suggestible state. Their Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn impulse may be triggered and cause a physical or emotional reaction which was not part of the negotiated/planned scene.

This could be a cut and dry example of "and think about all the times you've been hypnotized right there on that sofa" causing a hypnotee to follow the suggestion and regress in memory to a time before a bad break-up when their former partner hypnotized them on the sofa they are currently on.

It could be an abstract example like "imagining yourself in a field of flowers and breathing in, noting how lovely the scent is, like the most beautiful perfume." causing sense memory to trigger the scent of a perfume that was in the air during a traumatic moment of their life that instantly flips the switch in their mind to go into F/F/F/F mode.

Likely any given hypnotist will experience this at some point in their life. The first example is one that any person could experience. Hypnosis naturally draws upon associations and when you create an association in the present to a negative emotion in the past you will summon it into the present.

With the second example, that association is already there and it was activated during the scene. The source of the abreaction. I avoid using the word "Trigger" both because of shitty internet discourse in the 2010s and because the term is used for other things in hypnosis, but that is what it is. A sense, a memory, an association which causes the source of trauma to intrude upon the present. The danger that the hypnotee experiences in these moments is very real.

Typically when I discuss these topics I put a disclaimer and emphasize how present the traumatic experience is. My hope is that anyone who is interested in hypnosis knows full well how true and powerful inner experiences are. If you doubt that then I sincerely do not know why you are in this community to begin with.

How to prevent an abreaction is important but should never be learned at the expense of learning how to handle an abreaction. Prevention is about disclosing during negotiation, asking the hypnotee to volunteer anything which may activate a negative reaction or simply what topics to avoid. Phobias are common enough examples of things that a hypnotist should know before working.

But disclosing every part of a trance or scene during the early phases of a hypnotic relationship is essential too. This way the hypnotee does not get surprised by anything propping up during play and they can measure their expected reactions before going into a suggestible state.

But if, despite caution, something does happen? What then?

Noting that every abreaction manifests specific to the person, their situation, their emotional state and how the scene caused it to happen. The first thing the hypnotist needs to do is not overreact. Over-correcting is an easy mistake to make in the moment but it will lead to an overall negative outcome.

Assess the situation and try to recognize what is happening. I had mentioned that the reflex is "Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn" this can be obvious like thrashing or ejecting out of trance instantly. It could be something harder to notice like locking up and becoming unresponsive or emotionally regressing to a terrified state.

If the hypnotee is still in trance then do your best to offer comfort and grounding. Remind them what is happening, remind them that they are safe, perform some grounding exercises such as box breathing (breathe in, hold, exhale for a number of seconds).

Touch is a case by case situation here. I know if I were having an emotional flashback to an assault then being touched would launch me further into abreaction territory. If you believe holding a hand would be beneficial then at the very least communicate it "I'm here, I'm going to take your hand, everything's safe, I'm here."

Over distance you should communicate this via modality. "I'm here, just listen to my voice, focus on the sounds in the room, I'm not going anywhere" for an audio example, "Just feel the blanket beneath you, you can brush your fingers against it if you need" for touch based.

The idea is to use emotional comfort, sensory grounding and patience to bring the hypnotee gently out of the moment.

Then apply aftercare and discuss what happened, what could be improved, what the hypnotee needs and acknowledge that the stress of these moments impacts the hypnotist too. Leave room for the hypnotist to recover as much as the hypnotee.

Decide together if this will end the session or not. Do not cut off on principal. If someone is conditioned to believe that displaying their negative reactions will lead to play stopping then they will hide those reactions. Accept that they happen. Learn how to grow together and incorporate care, comfort and safety into every scene.

Spontaneous Hypnotic Amnesia

One danger for those who suffer dissociative disorders is that their brains are very good at editing information. The further down the spectrum one is, the more adept their mind is at naturally pushing away things that they do not wish to think about nor have the capacity to integrate.

One categorization of dissociation is a failure for the brain to integrate information and experience. It is the cause of time dilation, it is why critical thinking is bypassed and it is why those further on the dissociative spectrum are able to compartmentalize their experiences so effortlessly that they can maintain dissociated personalities.

Where most people who practice hypnosis typically have to study how to achieve post-hypnotic amnesia, those who begin working with hypnosis with patholigized dissociative experiences may need to learn how not to experience it. I include this as I have spoken to multiple people who have lived this reality and it is something we ourselves experienced in the past.

Should a newer hypnotee show signs that they are not remembering what is happening during trance, it is a good practice to train them on how to retain information. Hypnotee Agency is a skill that one develops and allowing them the knowledge that they can chose to retain the information during a trance is as important as reinforcing how easy and normal it is to forget when that is a negotiated part of the scene.

All it takes to be safe here is to just remind them that if they wish to and find it enjoyable to do so, they may retain the information from this trance.

Nothing more complicated than that.

Derealization/Unreality

Derealization is a common experience within dissociation that is actually lower on the dissociative spectrum than PTSD. It is when you do not feel attached to your present experiences in real time.

A common version of this is "Deja Vu" which is a sensation where you are having difficulty integrating your present experience because it "feels" like you've already experienced it.

It can manifest in many other ways, however the commonality is that the person experiencing this knows that it's abnormal. When a person is disconnected from their surroundings like this they may experience a barrier between themselves and the world, they may have a distorted sense of time and they may become physically unresponsive and withdrawn.

Source: Mayo Clinic

The best way to handle this is to make sure that grounding always includes a thorough count-up that lets a person feel both in their body (this will help with depersonalization too) and aware of their surroundings. Ensuring both debriefing and aftercare focus on keeping reality in the room is important when someone's sense of what is real can drift.

For that reason it's a good idea to try and reinforce those ideas of what is real and save them in a little box that can be stored away if there are ever any reality altering suggestions in play, that way retrieving and unpacking that box can just be a natural part of the post-scene.

I linked it earlier, but my post on the topic can be found here.

Depersonalization/Altered States of Identity

Ah, our favorite soapbox.

Much like derealization, depersonalization is a symptom that is lower on the scale than PTSD and is actively invoked during inductions such as the Bandler which turns a handshake into the hypnotee starring at their hand and having the sensation of the hand distanced from their mind. Literally dissociating the hand from your body and using that sensation to build a trance.

It's a good induction. All forms of dissociation are not bad things. That is something I want to make sure an audience fully understands. This post is here to destigmatize, particularly when a 101 class was teaching stigma.

Depersonalization is a disconnection from one's sense of self. These are the moments when one feels like they are not the ones living through a moment, they are experiencing themselves from an outside perspective.

Once again, things that are utilized heavily in induction patter.

Source: Mayo Clinic

The derealization advice works well in this case, particularly the idea of creating a "back-up" to restore carefully at the end of a scene.

The big difference though is that depersonalization as a natural thing that those with dissociative disorders do can lead to some bleed when doing suggestions which alter a person's sense of self. I highly recommend an optional suggestion or affirmation that can help a hypnotee ground themselves. That may be too close to therapy for many though.

The hard part about being safe with depersonalization symptoms is that they are typically things that we actively engage with during hypnosis. I guarantee at least one person read "Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of what you say or how you move." and thought of that as an absolute win.

This is where a bit of negotiation and hypnotee agency comes into play. Reality needs to be kept in the room during all hypnosis. Diving into ego-death or erasing reality may be tempting, especially for those who aren't particularly fond of reality or themselves, but it is too dangerous to surrender those things.

My definitive post on the topic has more information.

Though while I'm talking about altered personalities, I want to make something clear which I did not type about much in my Personality Play post...

Plurality

This is a topic on its own which could take on an entire post to itself. I may yet write it. If anyone has read our Madison and Belladonna stories they would know that they are written entirely based upon the life lessons Daja and I have been learning while I began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many of my lessons for how to safely play with plural systems are mixed in with the fiction.

When I say Plural I mean to refer to those who have multiple dissociated personalities, along with circumstances such as dissociative barriers.

There are as many displays of plurality as there are people who experience it. Every system is different. No two people are not on fire (awww).

So with that said, any play on either side of the watch is going to be lead with self-advocating. A hypnotic relationship involving a system (or more than one, even) will need a level of disclosure. Not just that a system exists but how that system manifests. What patterns are known regarding switches, what best works when an unexpected switch occurs, what levels of dissociative barriers exist between alters/parts, what terminology is preferred...

Wait, that's a lot to throw at once.

Our version of plurality is based upon Dissociative Identity Disorder. Which is to say that my system, originating via complex PTSD during childhood, used to have firm dissociative barriers between one another. This meant that, prior to diagnosis, you could have an emotionally charged conversation with me, Dawn, and then the next day Cammie will wake up and depending on the level of dissociation (typically but not always linked to stress or proximity to trauma triggers) will either not remember what happened during that conversation or will not carry the emotions that I had experienced. "Not remembering" can simply be "won't think about"

As I said, it's quite subjective. But the conceit is that with those on the DID spectrum will have a complete disconnect between parts/alters.

For those with less dissociation, but still experience plurality, they may not have amnesia or barriers between parts, allowing themselves to communicate with one another actively.

Within psychological communities there is eternal debate on all of these experiences and one of the more poignant debates is that the difference between DID and OSDD seems to just be a level of severity and that treatment and therapy tactics tend to move DID patients into the OSDD box and so they shouldn't be labeled as separate disorders.

These rules on amnesia, inner communication and emotional consistency between parts typically apply outside of disorders. I do not wish to engage in syscourse. But as above when I mentioned abreactions, those who practice with hypnosis know how capable a mind is to create hypnotically induced personalities. There are experiences outside of the DSM-V and that really shouldn't be a controversial statement.

A switch is when one part/alter trades out for another. The reasons are hyper specific to every system and cannot really be predicted without knowing their circumstances intimately. For instance the scent of lavender will draw me out without fail.

These can happen without warning and during hypnosis. Being cautious about body language, tone of voice and sudden changes in mood are the best you can do without guidance from the one with lived experience.

I'd also cautiously warn to end a scene and check in if there is an unexpected switch and there's no negotiated playbook on what to do in case of a switch.

The first Madison and Belladonna story tells the story of that very circumstance because that happened in my real life.

For safety it is best to try and communicate with the entire system over how to approach any aspect of hypnosis play. Exploring is a collaborative action and it can be a rewarding experience to find what works and what doesn't work. But it does take time.

For some basic "until I know better" rules, I'd say NEVER FORCE A SWITCH is a fairly basic rule, though. Also do not assume consent for a specific part/alter counts as consent for the whole system.

There is so much to say on this topic and I will likely revisit it at another point, but much of the safety tied up with DID and identity based dissociative disorders boils down to the fact that you are negotiating consent for a group and that you cannot always guarantee that the hypnotee at the start of a scene will always be present during the entire scene.

To that, I say treat switches like an abreaction, display acceptance and curiosity and don't get too hung up on the circumstances.

At the end of the day plural folx are just people too, just not person.

So... why did I write all this, anyway?

A lovely friend of mine recently joked that Charmed 2024 was the "Year of Plurality" and in a way they were right. I've been attending the event since 2020 and where my first had been a humble little class of 8 or so people on a Sunday afternoon ran by Vulpes Automata (Vulpes teaches the same class at Plural Positivity, albeit without the hypnosis content, a recording is hosted here) this year's event included many systems declaring themselves as such on their badge, both an in-person and online unconference that stretched beyond the time limits put in place and were feverishly well attended.

It has done my heart so good to see the safety and community growing and becoming more accepting.

It reminds me of the community's slow growth to accepting and embracing the transgender community in the mid-2010s.

Which is why I wish to be firm about trying to stop bad ideas from taking root in how we teach on these topics.

Some may remember that in the 2000s, respectable resources teaching hypnokink used to state firmly to "confirm biological sex" with any potential play partner. Said material has been revised. Times change and communities grow.

So when I see this teaching graphic saying that those who dissociate as part of a mental illness "Can't" be hypnotized, due to safety concerns? I get worried.

It was being used in a 101 class at the very same Charmed event that I am praising for having such good acceptance of plural experiences?

I lived this once as a closeted transgender woman. I don't want to live it again with our DID.

And I remember that "never play with anyone who has a mental illness" used to be taught in the same resources that once said to disclose one's "biological sex". People have taught this in classes and been approached by someone who had a mental illness and told how ignorant it was to teach that they could not be played with.

We, as a community, can do better.

I'd rather a 3 hour 101 become a 4 hour 101 and teach this material than to dismiss those who are the most vulnerable and susceptible and have them seek their trances from those who do not have reservations about safety and ethics.

Thank you for reading. I know this was a big soap box.

#dawn posting #hypnokink #hypnosis #hypnokink writings #charmed 2024 #did #bpd #community resources #community safety

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miltonthoughts · 16 days

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Had a few headcanons/ideas about Ford taking care of child!reader as his own kid and then Stan having to take care of child!reader after the portal incident- here ya go!

Inspiration for this post was from this! And the timeline was from this post here!

Pre-Portal incident

• In 1974, Ford found you abandoned outside his cabin one night when you were a baby. He didn’t know who your parents were but was reluctant to take you in.

• Ford soon realized that he enjoyed taking care of you, as it made him feel less lonely and more loved. He felt even happier when you started to speak and try to communicate with him, even though most of your words were just baby talk. He was proud of you, though.

• A few years passed, and you were now 8 years old. Ford couldn't have been prouder. He was happy to call you his child, especially when you referred to him as a dad. You didn't have to, after all, he had told you that he wasn't your biological father, but you didn't care and simply loved him.

• He will tell you stories of his adventures while searching for anomalies, and you'll be amazed by his tales of capturing and documenting them. He even shows you his journals so you can see the visuals of the anomalies.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was eating jelly beans with a side of popcorn and watching sci-fi movies. It's comforting for you and Ford as a family bonding time.

• He calls you his "jelly bean" too, which makes you a little embarrassed but you don’t mind it at all.

During paranoia period

• Ford started to get more paranoid and a bit unhinged that you couldn’t understand at the time, you were a kid after all. He will reassure you that he was fine but you can tell something was off with your dad.

• One night, you had a night terror. Ford immediately came to your side when you wouldn't stop screaming and thrashing your limbs aggressively. You don't remember what you dreamed about, but Ford seems to know, and he didn't look pleased.

• You started to feel more lonely after Ford had started to hang in his basement. You weren’t allowed down there so you had to wait for hours for him to come up. You miss him a lot.

Portal incident

• One day, a man who looked like your dad arrived, except he had a mullet and a rougher appearance. It turned out that he was your dad's twin brother! You were briefly introduced to your uncle before Ford told you to stay put upstairs while he and his brother, Stan, went down to the basement. You frowned at that.

• Oh, but you couldn’t help yourself! You had to know what your dad was doing, more so after you heard a lot of yelling between the two adults.

• As you got down into the basement, all you saw was your dad ascending towards a glowing blue light. You froze, you didn’t know what to do before screaming and running after him. Stan looks behind him towards you before the portal closes and gets wrecked in the process.

• You passed out due to the overwhelming sensation after the portal closed. Soon, you woke up on the couch and heard a commotion in the kitchen. At first, you thought it was your dad, but as you peeked out, it was your uncle Stan, and he looked wrecked.

• It was a difficult situation for Stan to explain to you why your father wasn't here at the moment. You couldn't comprehend why your dad had left you behind.

• Stan soon starts to realize that you don’t exactly remember how your dad exactly "left". Your memories were too fuzzy when remembering about the portal. Believing it was a dream or another night terror you had again.

Teen years period

• The year was 1987, and you were now 13 years old. Your uncle, Stan, had raised you since you were 8 years old. Your memories about the incident were still fuzzy to you, especially more when you tried to remember about your dad, Ford. It's almost like he didn’t exist in the first place.

• Uncle Stan tried his best to take care of you, though his parenting methods were questionable. Still, he had a good heart and tried teaching you the hardest he could.

• He taught you some boxing lessons too so you’ll be able to defend yourself after you've been picked on by a few bullies in town. You appreciated your Uncle Stan wanting the best for you.

• You did once accidentally called Stan, dad one time. He didn’t let it up and embarrassed you about it for a whole month. Didn’t mean it made him cry a little.

• Whenever you question Stan about Ford, he’s reluctant to give you answers. Sometimes, he would change the topic when the question was too much to bare to answer. You didn’t want him to get upset so you dropped the subject entirely.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was making new fuzzy creatures for the mystery shack he hosted during the days. It was fun and made you laugh when Stan would give voices for your creations you made.

That’s all I got! I will make a part 2 when the reader is an adult and their reaction towards when ford comes back too!!

#gravity falls #ford pines #gravity falls x reader #grunkle ford #miltonwrites #miltonthoughts #child reader #stan pines #stanley pines #gravity falls ford #gravity falls stanford #gravity falls stanley #gravity falls stan #gravity falls stan pines #gravity falls ford pines #angst #fluff #headcanon

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procrastinatinglumi · 1 year

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Pre-Incident Memory!Toriel

Lady Toriel Ewestace - A monster who lives around the outermost border that connects the human's and monster's territory.

Previously; Toriel Dreemurr, Queen of all monster. She divorced from the monster king at the time after the 14XX's peace treaty between the two races.

#I'm finally able to finish this #I started it since like 3-5 months ago I think #but executive dysfunction got me #and I managed to beat it recently #haven't post since so long #but anywho #memorytale #memory!toriel #pre-incident!toriel #toriel au #undertale alternate universe #undertale au #alternate universe #utmv

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mitsuristoleme · 3 months

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hope i never lose you

pairing: gojo satoru x geto suguru x reader

cw: post the events of hidden inventory but pre kfc breakup, implications of depression, mentions of death/almost dying, mention but not graphic description of blood, thoughts of killing/genocide by suguru, arguments, crying/breakdowns, they’re all whipped, hurt/comfort, smut, oral sex (male receiving), 4.5k words (this was NOT supposed to be this long but woohoo??)

part of my au- This Side of Paradise

for more from this au check out my masterlist

It was 3AM when you finally dragged your exhausted body to your dorm room.

Ever since Amanai’s death (or as the higher ups called it “the incident with the Star Plasma Vessel), you and your boyfriends, Satoru and Suguru, were being worked to the bone, a new mission popping up seemingly every few hours.

All three of you had been promoted to special grades and the pressure was unreal. Missions that should have been handled by adults with more experience were being handed off to you in view of your “superior abilities”.

You didn’t remember the last time the three of you had even seen each other for longer than 30 minutes. You missed them. Terribly.

Most of the measly time you were together was spent doing mandated training to hone Satoru’s Limitless. To help him step into his role as ‘The Strongest’.

You were tired. So tired.

Not to mention the nightmares plaguing your mind every night. Satoru’s head dismembered from his body, him never having the epiphany that led him to acquire reverse cursed technique. Suguru’s chest cleaved open, him never making it to Shoko. And you, bleeding out from the slash in your stomach before ever making it to any of them.

You’d been waking up in tears streaming down your face for days, the image of the lifeless bodies of your boyfriends seared into your mind like a brand.

Kicking off your shoes, your eyes roved over the room, a habit you’d developed after the man who killed Amanai broke into the Jujutsu High barrier.

Wow, you’d really let it get messy.

Your hands stopped halfway through unbuttoning your uniform jacket as you realised you weren’t in your room. Muscle memory had apparently led you right into Suguru’s dorm room.

His door wasn’t locked? Strange.

He wasn’t in bed? Even stranger. Normally Suguru was very particular about his beauty sleep.

Why was his room a mess?

Panic clutched at your heart, fear digging in its sharp claws, your pulse pounding loudly in your ears. Your legs hurriedly moved of their own accord as you threw back his sheets in the hope that he was there. Not gone. He was still here, right? He had to be.

No.

No?

nononononononononononononono.

“Y/N? What’re you doing here?”

Suguru’s voice dragged you out of your panicked rush of thoughts.

“Oh my god, you’re alive,” you choked out, reaching for him to pull him against you, a physical reassurance to yourself that he was still there. That your nightmares weren’t true.

“I-“ his arms looped around your waist hesitantly, “Of course I am. Are you alright?”

“Mhmm,” you mumbled, nodding against where your face was buried into his bare shoulder.

Wait…

“Why are you naked?” you inquired, eyeing the towel covering his lower body. Why did he look so weak?

Your hands moved to gently cup his face, “Sweetheart, have you been eating? You don’t look okay.”

Suguru flinched at your touch, looking like a deer trapped in headlights and for the first time in the year and a half you had been dating him, you saw Geto Suguru at a loss for words.

He squirmed in place letting your concerned eyes trail over his greasy barely-taken-care-of hair, his red, puffy eyes and his dark circles.

“Sugu…”

Before you could voice any further concern, the door to the room was flying open to reveal an incredibly disheveled Satoru, his cheek dripping with blood.

There was a tense moment where the three of you stared at each other until Satoru came barrelling towards the two of you, engulfing you into his lanky arms.

A light ‘oomph’ escaped Suguru’s mouth as his knees buckled and he face planted right into Satoru’s chest.

“You’ve got blood on you,” you mumbled into Satoru’s uniform. He hummed in acknowledgment, dipping his head to press a gentle kiss to your head, another one to Suguru’s bare shoulder.

“‘S not mine,” he said simply, offering no further explanation. His hand slipped under your uniform shirt to rub at the small of your back, the other one lazily moving to scratch Suguru’s scalp. “Why’re you naked Sugu?”

Suguru lazily raised his eyes to meet your blue eyed boyfriend’s gaze from where he’d basically melted into his side, “Jus’ took a shower.”

“Yeah? Then why’s your hair all greasy and stinky?”

“No reason,” the raven snapped, his posture stiffening as he moved to pull away from the hug. His tone was sharp. Nothing like you’d ever heard him use with you or Satoru before.

Satoru took off his glasses and tossed them onto the bed before narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend, “C’mon your hair is the love of your life, babe. You never let it get this dirty.”

“I just told you it’s nothing! God!”

Suguru angrily stomped his way to his closet, pulling on a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers, tossing his towel to a random corner of the room.

“You never do that either,” you said gently, your voice soft, trying to maintain a level tone.

“Can you two stop? I’m fine! Maybe I’m just tired this late at night!” His hands tore through his hair in frustration, the grease making his hair stick back onto his scalp.

Satoru moved across the room, grabbed Suguru’s jaw and forced his boyfriend to meet his glowing blue eyes.

“Something’s wrong.”

A defeated sigh.

“I told you nothin-“

“Tell me what's wrong.”

“Satoru noth-“

“BULLSHIT!” Satoru roared, making Suguru violently flinch in his hold.

Silence. Deafening silence.

Fearing this was the calm before a much bigger storm, you decided to step in, slipping between them to loosen your white haired boyfriend’s iron grip on his counterpart’s jaw.

“You’re hurting him ‘Toru,” you whispered, keeping your voice low, scared that anything louder might spark further conflict.

Blankly, he nodded, withdrawing his hands from Suguru’s face, gently placing them around your hips instead. You shot him a small smile, reaching up to affectionately scratch his undercut, drawing a pleased sound from him before you turned back to your long haired lover.

You cupped his face, running your knuckles over where red marks the shape of Satoru’s fingers had started forming.

“Talk to us, Sugu. We’re worried about you, baby,” you beseeched. “Please.”

That seemed to break him, his expression crumpling as he let out a shaky breath.

“I just-“ is all he could let out in a choked whisper before he broke down in front of you.

His head dipped down, his chin pressing into his chest, his shoulders shaking from his heaving sobs, his body curling into itself as if he wanted to hide away.

“Suguru,” Satoru mumbled from behind you, concern laced through his voice, his hands reaching to cup his boyfriend’s face, taking care to be gentle after his earlier outburst, his large hands supporting the raven’s face from below, fingers gently swiping at his tears.

Blue eyes flicked down to meet your own worried ones, a silent communication passing between you both as you slipped out from between the two boys and pressed your torso against Suguru’s back, your arms wrapping around his waist in silent comfort.

Meanwhile Satoru had gathered his dark haired lover into his arms, supporting the brunt of his body weight, letting him cry onto his rumpled uniform jacket.

Sandwiched between both of your bodies, Suguru shook violently with sobs, a part of you worried if he could breathe, a sentiment clearly echoed by Satoru. You watched as he tangled one of his hands in your boyfriend’s hair, his fingers moving to lightly scratch at his scalp.

“You need to breathe baby,” he gently reminded Suguru. “C’mon, deep breaths with me, yeah?”

You pulled away from your koala grasp on your boyfriend, instead rubbing his back comfortingly as he gulped down shaky bouts of air through his mouth and nose, tears still streaming down his face.

Frowning, you reached up to wipe his tears off his face, your hand coming away wet as if you had just washed it. Your lower lip wobbled, heart twisting seeing one of the loves of your life in so much distress.

Ever so observant with his keen eyes, Satoru had already loosened one of his arms from around Suguru’s waist and tugged you into the hug.

“Don’t you start,” he mumbled, trying to force his usual playfulness in the jest. He was just as tired as you and Suguru were, taking on mission upon mission, sometimes even forcing the higher ups to give him missions that should’ve been given to either of his partners, not that you knew this. But you knew he was tired and joking, so you said nothing.

The three of you stood there for a while, wrapped up in each other, your hearts thumping wildly, as Suguru’s sobs died down into soft sniffles, his hand reaching up to wipe a stray tear from your face before his arms looped around you and Satoru.

“‘M sorry,” he whispered, voice hoarse and scratchy, presumably from all the crying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” you replied instantly. “We’ve all been stressed, you don’t have to apologise fo-“

“What's the point?” he interrupted, his tone defeated, “What's the point of us working our asses to the ground to exorcise curses when those- those monkeys are gonna make new ones anyway?”

“Sugu-“

“I’m tired of fighting for people who just create their own problems. Maybe non sorcerers just shouldn’t exist.”

Satoru gaped at him, eyes wide, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to figure out what to say.

“You don’t mean that,” he finally said lamely.

“Don’t I? Just put yourself in my position, Satoru. Do you know how horrible ingesting curses is? And I do all that, every. Single. Fucking. Day. Only to find some psycho with no cursed energy almost kill me and my partners!”

You pulled away to look him in the eyes, “And that's a good reason to kill all non sorcerers? You’ve always believed in not killing without any meaning. Where’s the meaning in getting rid of a population of innocent people?”

“I wouldn’t call them innocent.”

“What about your parents? They not innocent either?” Satoru jumped in, his tone accusatory.

Suguru hesitated, his eyes flicking between the two of you and the ground, “I… don’t know.”

“You hesitated. That’s your answer.”

“It’s really not.”

“You can’t just kill millions of people just because they’re not like us.”

“…”

“Suguru.”

Satoru looked at you, his eyes swimming with uncertainty and fear at the sudden cult propaganda like stuff your shared boyfriend had started spewing.

You sighed, “You know Suguru, you’re not the only one who saw your partners almost die.”

“What?”

“You said earlier, you saw me and ‘Toru get killed by a non sorcerer. You’re not the only one who did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw both of you. Almost die I mean. Almost died myself too.”

“Y/n-“

“I’ve been having nightmares, you know? Every night. You both-'' you paused, your breath hitching in your throat, tears prickling your eyes. Satoru wrapped his arm around your shoulder, squeezing you close to him as if saying, ‘it’s okay, we’re here’.

You took a shuddering breath before continuing, “You both die. Bleed out. And I do too. Before I ever reach you. Before I get to see you for the last time. And I know it's not the time to bring this up but I-“

The rest of your sentence was cut off by the lump in your throat swelling, your eyes welling up with tears.

Suguru’s hands were on your face immediately, wiping off tears before they even fell. Satoru pulled you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to your head.

“Hey,” Suguru whispered against the shell of your ear, his breath skirting across the side of your face, “We’re here, okay? We’re here and we’re alright baby. We gotchu, yeah?”

You nodded, burrowing your face into Satoru’s chest, letting the warmth from both of your boyfriends caging you between them wash over you. They were your anchors, pulling you back to reality when the storm of life got too difficult to bear. They were your home.

“You’re both my home too,” Satoru mumbled sheepishly, almost too quiet for you to hear.

“Did I-“

“You said it out loud.”

“Oh.”

“You’re my home too,” Suguru sighed out letting his head fall onto Satoru’s, his eyebags looking more prominent when he closed his eyes to take a deep breath.

Satoru shifted slightly, “Let’s get into bed hmm? You both look like you need some serious sleep. And honestly? Same.”

The weight of the exhaustion of the past few days suddenly hit you like a truck, your limbs going weak and heavy between the strongest duo.

You glared at Satoru through bleary eyes, “Are you a witch?”

“Eh??? Where is this coming from??”

“You said we probably need some serious sleep and now I’m tired. You’re a witch and you-“ yawn “You cursed me to feel sleepy.”

“Baby it’s like half past three. You’re sleepy because you’ve been awake for like 24 hours.”

“…I still think you’re a witch.”

Satoru’s mouth opened to form a what would be a smart retort but he was interrupted by Suguru smoothly slapping a hand over his mouth, pushing you slightly towards the twin bed, “Alright before you start trying to burn the guy who funds all our food runs at the stake, let’s get into bed yeah?”

“Is that all I am to you?! A wallet?!”

“No you’re our sugar daddy. It’s the only reason we tolerate you. Ain’t that right babe?”

You looked at him, eyes sparkling with playful mirth, the humour returning to the raven’s voice filling you with an unspeakable amount of relief.

“Yep.”

“You’re both so mean to me!”

“Hush now, pretty boy.”

The three of you squeezed into the small bed meant for one person, as always: Suguru’s chest pressed into your back, your head resting against Satoru’s shoulder, three pairs of legs tangling with each other until you couldn’t tell where one of you ended and the other began.

“We’re still in uniform,” you sighed out, dreading the prospect of leaving the tangle of warmth to change.

Satoru yawned. “Mmh it’s fine. Ya don’t mind, do you Sugu?”

“You have blood on you, dumbass.”

A dramatic whine. “Ugh fine.” A smirk. “Stay here and strip lovely, I’ll get that t-shirt you like from emo boy’s closet.”

“Perv.” You tossed a pillow at him but got down to removing your uniform anyway.

Fiddling with the last few buttons, you peeled off your partially open uniform jacket, putting it next to you. You would take it, along with the rest of your uniform, to the laundry basket in your room later.

Next to you, Suguru heaved a big sigh, fidgeting with the end of his shirt. “I’m not gonna do it,” he said quietly. “Genocide, I mean,” he continued a bit louder. “I just-“ he groaned, his hand running dragging down his face, “You guys just got me thinking. I’m not the only one who suffered that day. And killing off millions of people isn’t- Well it isn’t practical- Or moral. And you’re right y’know. I’ve never gotten behind killing without meaning.”

He went quiet again, his fingers continuing to nervously tug and twist at the hem of his shirt.

A tense silence filled the room.

Satoru stood in front of the closet, holding a wad of clothing, staring at his boyfriend.

Before you know it, the white haired boy is launching himself at Suguru, burying his face into the raven’s neck, “‘M sorry. ‘M sorry I never noticed that you were struggling. And I’m sorry I got mad and hurt you earlier.”

Suguru sighed, melting into his lover’s body, “‘S ok. I forgive you. You were just worried.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You watched the two boys soak in each other’s affection with fond eyes. They got on your nerves almost constantly but damn did you love them.

“Babe?” called Satoru.

You were met with the pouty faces of both your boys staring at you.

Suguru tilted his head from where Satoru had it cradled in his arms. God, he looked like a kicked puppy. “Do you not love us?”

You almost cooed because what the hell? Why was he so damn adorable?

“Of course I love you silly.”

“Then why didn’t you say it when the both of us did?” Satoru inquired, matching pouts with your shared boyfriend.

“Well-“ you sputtered, “You guys were having a moment! I didn’t wanna ruin it!”

You got no response. The two of them only stared at you, thoroughly unimpressed.

You laughed, “Okay, okay. I love you both.”

“Good,” they mumble in unison.

“Ugh you’re both so adorably stupid,” you muttered, jumping into the hug peppering aggressive kisses all over both their faces, each punctuated with a ‘I love you’.

By the 20th kiss, they were blushing, Suguru pushing you and Satoru off. “Change you two,” he admonished, “Stop getting curse gunk and blood on me.”

You laughed, pressing a final kiss to his forehead and heading off to the washroom to wash off your face, utterly unaware of two sets of enraptured eyes trained on your figure.

By the time you came out, Satoru had changed into one of Suguru’s large t-shirts and a pair of boxers. With his toned thighs on display and the smear of blood still on his cheek, he had never looked hotter to you.

“Y’re starin’ love,” he smirked.

“You’re starin’ love,” you mocked, pitching your voice lower in a horrendous attempt to sound like him. “Not my fucking fault you’re hot.”

He giggled. Yes. Giggled. Like a middle school girl. “Aw thanks babe,” he said as he batted his eyes at you, “Anyways, clothes are on the bed, next to our hot boyfriend. I’m gonna go get the blood off my face.” And with that and a little hairflip, he flounced off into the bathroom, shutting that door behind him.

“He’s such a menace,” you mumbled, moving towards the bed.

Chuckling Suguru shifted to sit up in bed, grabbing at your waist and tugging you closer to him. “Yeah, but we love him regardless.”

You hummed in agreement, letting your boyfriend’s hands wander across your lower back and ass, “I guess we do, don’t we?”

He tilted his head up to meet your eyes, his chin resting right below your sternum. “Wan’ help getting this off?” he inquired, tugging on the end of your shirt, his pupils blown wide.

“You know I never say no,” you mumbled.

A satisfied sound left his lips, his practiced hands moving to unbutton your shirt and tug down your pants in record breaking time.

“So pretty,” he whispered, pressing a kiss above your belly button.

A tingle of electricity shot through your spine at the contact, a pool of warmth settling low in your stomach as you wound your fingers into his long hair.

You frowned at the feeling of the grease he had let build up in his hair on your fingertips. “I’m gonna wash your hair tomorrow.”

“I’d really like that,” he whispered, hooking his arms behind your thighs and pulling you down into his lap, immediately pressing his lips to yours in a loving kiss.

You looped your arms around his neck, readjusting your hands to keep gently scratching his scalp.

Suguru wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him, his hair tickling your cheeks.

“Sugu,” you gasped, pulling away for air, “I have to change.”

“Let me love on you baby," he replied, a little breathless, his hands running down your back. "Please?"

"Are you two canoodling without me?"

Your head shot towards the bathroom door, suddenly very aware of the fact that you were sitting on your boyfriend's lap, half naked, while your other boyfriend was staring at the both of you, failing to hide the very obvious bulge in his-or well- Suguru's boxers.

Suguru scowled at him, "We'll continue without you if you say 'canoodling' one more time."

"What's wrong with canoodling?"

"You're ruining the mood man!"

"I hate admitting you're right but I'd be lying if I said that the implication of you two 'canoodling' didn't make me just a little bit soft."

"Just come here and kiss me, idiot."

Satoru grinned at the command, crossing the room in two big steps to lace his fingers in Suguru's hair and smashing his lips onto his boyfriend's.

You laid your head on Suguru’s shoulder, soaking in his warmth, while you watched your boys devour each other’s mouths above you.

They broke apart, panting and faces flushed, looking at each other slightly dazed.

“Fuck,” Satoru rasped, “I forgot how good that felt.”

Suguru ran his fingers along his lips, still looking a bit out of it, “Yeah me too.”

“Now then,” grinned your white haired lover, his signature cheshire smirk on his lips, making grabby hands at you. “C’mere you.”

He dropped to his knees on front of the bed, his height allowing him to be face to face with you in Suguru’s lap. Grabbing your legs, he shifted you so you sat with your back to the raven’s chest, his hard on pressing against your ass.

Almost immediately, strong arms were wrapping around your waist from behind as Satoru slotted himself between yours and Suguru’s legs, hovering his lips above yours, just a hair’s breadth from touching yours.

“Kiss me baby,” he breathed, his breath fanning across your face.

You complied, throwing your arms around his neck, tugging him towards you as you ran your tongue along the seam of his lips.

He responded with just as much enthusiasm, his mouth hot against yours as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

You let your hands wander, scratching his undercut the way you knew made him go wild, enjoying the way he let out a breathy moan against your lips.

Satoru’s hands joined Suguru on your waist, settling right below the edge of your bra, his fingers running along the edge of the fabric resting against your ribcage as he broke away from you to press searing open mouthed kisses along your jawline.

He shifted his attention from you to the beautiful man whose lap you were sitting in.

“Hey Suguru?” he called out.

“Hmm?”

“Can I suck your dick?”

Suguru gaped at him, mouth falling open, eyes wide. Satoru never asked for permission.

“What? I can be considerate, y'know!”

“I know… You just never…”

You ran your fingers along Suguru’s wrist, soothing his frazzled nerves, “Let us spoil you, Sugu? You’ve been stressing enough.”

And that was how you ended up holding Suguru’s upper body to your own, his back muscles flexing against your front, his shirt haphazardly thrown to some corner of the room as he quivered and moaned under his boyfriend’s ministrations.

“Satoru-“ the raven choked out, his head falling onto your shoulder, “So good- please-“

Satoru hummed around Suguru’s cock, bobbing his head, his cheeks hollowing, before pulling away with a lewd ‘pop’.

“Please what, hmm baby?” he questioned, his voice low and raspy, “Please stop?”

A frustrated sound ripped itself from Suguru’s throat, his hand clutching onto Satoru’s shirt before tugging him closer to his mouth.

“I meant to keep going and you know it. Brat.”

Satoru grinned, his signature cheshire smirk taking over his face as his eyes flickered from his black haired lover’s eyes to his mouth. He leaned in closer, brushing his lips along Suguru’s jawline.

“Whatever you want, princess.”

He slid down, settling back between his boyfriend’s legs. He wrapped his hand around the base of Suguru’s dick, pumping it once, twice and another time, before wrapping his lips around the tip and pushing his head down the entire length in one go.

A loud moan tore its way from Suguru’s mouth as his hands reached to bury themselves in Satoru’s hair, tugging on the glowing moonlight strands like they were his lifeline.

You gently ran your fingers along Suguru’s bare torso, tracing the muscles that you had long since committed to memory, pressing kisses to the back of his shoulders and neck.

“Y’look so pretty like this Sugu,” you whispered into the shell of his ear, relishing the way he shivered at the way your breath danced across his cheek.

A gasp left Suguru’s lips just as a slurping sound came from where Satoru was continuing to suck him off, his own hips rutting into the mattress, drool dribbling down his chin.

Suguru’s back arched off where it was pressed against your torso, his mouth dropping open the way it did when he was about to cum, “Fuck Satoru- ‘M so close.”

His abs clenched under your touch as he chanted your white haired lover’s name like a mantra.

“‘Toru- I’m gonna- gonna cum. I- inside or are you-?”

Satoru made an insistent sound around his cock, burying his nose into the dark hair at the base.

You chuckled, “I think that means he wants you to cum in his mouth.”

Satoru made a pleased noise of agreement in the back of his throat, his eyes looking up to gaze at you both.

“Fuck,” Suguru groaned out, “I’m cumming-“

His body tensed up as he reached his high, his cum spurting into Satoru’s mouth, dripping down the sides of his lips as he pulled himself off his boyfriend’s dick, swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“God fuck Suguru, we need to get you eating fruits again. That tasted like battery acid.”

Suguru shifted to cuddle with you, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck, his eyelashes tickling your skin.

“I’ve been contemplating genocide, leave me alone. Y/n get him to stop bullying me.”

You giggled, rubbing soothing circles into his broad back, following it with a kiss pressed into his hairline, “Stop bullying my baby, ‘Toru.”

“Am I not your baby?!”

“Yes you are honey, c’mere,” you coaxed, holding your arms out for him.

He sidled up to you, settling into your side, letting his head rest on your shoulder.

Your eyes burned as you shifted to make yourself more comfortable under Suguru’s body weight. Satoru slid his arm around your shoulders, sliding you down so you were lying down with your dark haired lover still holding onto you like a koala.

Satoru moved to drape his arm over Suguru’s back and brushed a kiss over both of your cheekbones, “You guys got any missions tomorrow?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

He smiled, all soft lines and wrinkling nose, so unlike the cocky smirk he paraded around wearing, “Good. We can sleep in then. Maybe clean up Suguboo’s room while he gets some food.”

Suguru hummed, nuzzling his face into your chest. “Love you,” he whispered, his voice muffled against your skin, the words spoken so tentatively that you almost missed them.

“Love you, Suguru,” said Satoru, playfully sticking his tongue out, plopping his head down onto the pillow, “Even when your cum tastes like toxic waste.”

“Shut up.”

“Love you, dorks. Now let's just sleep please. I’m tired.”

The three of you fell asleep like that, your personal weighted blanket Suguru on top of you, Satoru holding the both of you from the side.

a/n: whewwwww! that was one of the most time consuming fics ive ever written. its been in the works for over a month i think. ive also never written a content warning so long😭. hope you guys enjoy this!

tagging- @forest-hashira @wifeyana and @strychnynegirl

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thoughtless-muse · 5 months

Text

chapter summary: daryl dixon was everything you despised in a man: rude, unkempt, derisive, scornful and unarticulated. yet, daryl dixon was also everything you craved in a man: mysterious, rugged, self-sufficient, masculine, aloof, and much older than yourself. it was the worst sort of enigma to place yourself in, especially during the throes of a damn apocalypse – and yet here you were, fighting tooth and nail to try and get closer to the man who hadn’t even bothered to tell you his name himself.

word count: 3.6k

c/w: language, suggestive themes/thoughts, a bit dialogue heavy, younger!fem!reader, first meetings, older/younger, undisclosed age-gap, subtle bickering, instant attraction, brief allusions to death/loss, super minor angst (maybe?), pre-season one at the quarry camp

prologue: start of doomsday

being raised by a brother ten years your senior gave you ample time and experience to grow accustomed to being dubbed with various nicknames.

goob, goober, snot, shrimp, brat, princess – you’d heard all of those and many, many more. you had long since learned to let them bounce off of you, to simply roll with the flow and ignore them.

but when he’d given you a nickname, why, you simply couldn’t let it roll off your back; couldn’t stop yourself from replaying the exact moment he’d first called you it, couldn’t refrain from stewing over the way it had rolled – all gravelly, husky and derisive – off his tongue.

“well, ain’t’chu jus’ a doll, girly?”

doll.

he had called you a fucking doll.

and girly. as if you were some sort of child.

it was such a puerile thing to get hooked up on, something so trivial and immature – especially when compared to the more pressing concerns that you should be worrying about; such as the dead slobbering for your flesh and the dwindling food supplies within the camp.

maybe it was because when you had approached him you were just a hairs-width from a mental breakdown, the world nothing more than a mere crumble around you, and his rudeness acted as the straw that broke the camel’s back.

or maybe it was because you were simply trying to be nice, for fuck’s sake, and the moment he’d laid sight on you he decided he would harbor a personal vendetta against you, for no real reason other than he could – or wanted to.

you didn’t even know his name. and it had become painfully obvious that he’d taken great lengths to make sure no one in the camp did; when you’d approached shane about him moments after that fateful incident, shane had spared no more than a glance in the direction the man had stalked off in and shrugged.

“no idea who he is, really. he kinda just showed up.” was all shane had said, as if what had just transpired was trifling at best – and, deep down inside, you knew it was; a man copping an attitude with you was the least of shane’s worries, and it was petulant for you to expect him to place it above everything else that was already piled onto his platter, that it was stupid to expect him to do something about it as if he were a parent getting onto a child.

but you just couldn’t help it.

you hadn’t been able to help it for days.

those words rang through your head every time you saw him, sauntering around the camp with a scowl, lugging around that clunky crossbow like it was some sort of deterrent, like no one would be brave enough to approach him while he had it within his reach – it just flat-out irritated you.

you were only trying to be nice.

“I don’ need no damn help. I can find a tent jus’ fine!”

“prick.” you muttered under your breath, only realizing that you’d audibly expressed your distaste at the memory when a cool, damp hand gripped your bicep.

“you okay, (y/n)?” andrea asked softly, stroking her thumb over your skin soothingly. you shot the older woman a small smile, shirking off the irritation that had built under your skin from the mere thought of that man.

“yeah, yeah. I’m good, andrea. thanks.” you returned your focus to the bin of dirty laundry you had abandoned in favor of recounting sore memories and began to scrub near-viciously. this happened a lot, too, when you thought about him. the thoughts would pop up unprompted, and then everything else would fade away into mere white noise – you were sure it was incredibly frustrating for those who shared your assigned tasks each day.

andrea hummed softly and uncurled her fingers from your bicep to return her hand to her own basin once more. silence fell over the group of women washing clothes at the lakeside, nothing but the cries of forest birds, rippling water and churning splashes against the walls of multiple basins acting as a melody to the activity.

that was, until amy spoke up, her voice airy and strained by amusement that she tried to desperately to conceal. “so, uh, who’s a prick?”

you whipped your head over to glare at amy as muted giggles arose around you, and she vehemently avoided your eyes lest the smile teasing at her lips grew into a full on grin. heat flared over your cheeks and you blew out a puff of hot air, equal parts embarrassed and irritated that you were caught angrily musing over that man red-handed. again.

“no one.” you stated simply, voice weak even to your own ears; and with the way amy’s shoulders began to tremble with contained laughter, you knew she had picked up the lack of conviction within your tone as well.

she just knew you too well.

you had met the harrison sisters the morning after the bombing of atlanta. they had been among the group of people that shane had led to the quarry. amy was sociable, nice, and outgoing, fluttering around the camp and offering bottled water and protein bars to everyone around her. close in age, you’d clicked with her almost instantly, drawn in by her bubbly personality and likeness to yourself; the two of you had been nearly inseparable since, and you even considered her to be a best friend despite the fact that you’d met her only a little over a week ago – falling in with andrea seemed all but inevitable, and you couldn’t say you hated that.

andrea was more reserved than amy was, but no less kind. you weren’t sure if it was a facet of her personality or simply because she had seen the bond forming between amy and yourself, but andrea had, at some point, taken you beneath her wing and treated you as if you were an extension of her own family – it was comforting, but in some ways, it made your heart ache.

because you’d had that once before; had it in the form of broad shoulders, dark hair, blue eyes, and a voice of reason that could talk down even the most insane of serial killers.

you’d had it in the form of rick, ten years your senior and your best friend, tied to you by more than just shared blood.

“I’m serious,” you pressed, smiling through the sudden onslaught of ache within your chest. “I wasn’t talking about anyone.”

“okay.” amy responded simply, dragging out the ‘y’ in way that conveyed exactly how much she believed you in that instant. you chuckled lowly and shook your head, willing the pain in your chest to ebb away quickly, before it swelled to something too big to contain; a knot was forming in your throat, one that had become far too familiar within the past couple weeks, and swallowing it down was growing harder and harder.

amy’s attempt at prodding fell to silence again, one that the others seemed content in, completely ignorant to the turmoil roiling within you. the silence acted as a catalyst rather than a balm, an overwhelming force that prompted the small cut in your chest into a growing chasm, and in a desperate attempt to strike conversation and sow it back up, you said, “I was talking about that guy with the crossbow.”

laughter erupted around you – the first painful stitch. amy nudged you with her elbow with a light guffaw – the second stitch, a little less painful than the first.

“yeah, I kinda figured as much.” andrea acknowledged with a laugh. “you’ve been in knots over him ever since he first showed up.” the third stitch, nearly painless.

“I have not!” you rebuked, even though a small part of you knew it was true. the man had simply waltzed into camp one day, a string of squirrels thrown over one shoulder and his crossbow slung over the other, a scowl on his face and body covered in filth and grime. sweat glistened across his brow and over the skin of his exposed biceps, and when he spoke, it was with a southern drawl that had drawn you in nearly instantly.

he was attractive as hell, at least he was to you – you became instantly overwhelmed by the desire to talk to him, to know him, to get closer in some way; but perhaps you should have observed him a bit more before practically cornering him and offering your help. maybe then you would have been able to foresee his reaction, and you wouldn’t be in this torn-up state in the first place.

“he is a bit of a prick, though.” amy conceded. “I think the only reason shane allows him to stay is because he can hunt.”

that chasm had been successfully sewn up by now, but the flesh around it was still achy and sore, sensitive to any prod and poke. you’d have to tread carefully to avoid reopening it, at least for now.

“I’m sure he’s got other skills.” you weren’t sure why you were defending the man after just insulting him and stewing over him, but for some reason, it irked you for him to be likened to as a one-trick pony. maybe it was simply the cursed attraction you had to him.

“and I’m more than certain you’d love to figure out just what those other skills are.” jacqui, who had been stationed furthest from you, piped up for the first time. your mouth popped open, your eyes widened, and heat flared to your face while the others erupted into laughter. amy’s laugh was the most notable, loud and boisterous, and despite the slight mortification you felt at jacqui’s suggestive (but true) statement, you found yourself laughing along.

you wondered just how obvious you must have been about your attraction to the man for even jacqui to have noticed; you didn’t talk much with her, but when you’re sequestered into a camp fending for your lives against the walking dead, you supposed it was only natural to pick up on things about the people around you.

had the man noticed it, too?

after all, you had, without a doubt, noticed things about him; things that no one would notice unless they had their eyes on him a little too much.

you noticed the small things that made him attractive; the subtle age lines around his eyes and lips, the creases along his forehead, the bags beneath his bottom lids, the semi-permanent frown fixed upon his face.

you noticed the things about him that stirred your gut, that pooled heat between your legs and brought about carnal arousal within you; the broad width of his shoulders, the way those shirts with the cut-off sleeves framed and accentuated his biceps and torso, those small glimpses that his pants sometimes gave you of his package, the way he sauntered around, glaring at everyone, cold and unapproachable – like a dark, gloomy castle just waiting to be turned into someone’s conquest.

most of all, you noticed the clear difference in age between the two of you – fuck… it had to be at least ten years, right? if you were lucky, it may even be larger than that.

your gut twisted with the familiar sensation of arousal and your sex throbbed between your legs, prompting you to close your thighs together in an attempt to stop it. or maybe get some friction, you weren’t sure.

this was becoming a big, big problem.

“(y/n)! aunt (y/n)!”

a shrill, childish voice called out to you from the gravel road yards from the lake, effectively dousing the low-burning embers in your belly. you whipped your head back and cupped a hand over your eyes to shield them from the sun. you smiled widely at the approaching form of carl, your one and only nephew, and discarded the wet shirt in your hand in favor of turning your entire body to face the boy.

“hey, carl! what’s up?” you questioned the exuberant child when he halted just feet away from you, panting heavily and dowsed in sweat. you reckoned he must have run all the way here from the camp. what an energetic youth.

“there’s something going down in camp. shane’s fighting with this weird guy! he has a gun!”

your heart tripped over itself and you quickly rose to your feet, shooting a hand out to grip carl by the shoulder and draw him closer. a threat of this magnitude hadn’t shown face in the camp yet, and despite the fact that it wasn’t within your jurisdiction to handle matters such as these, you couldn’t push down the instinct to do so.

“amy, could you finish up my part, please?” you asked kindly, sending the young blonde a pleading look from over your shoulder. she nodded and reached over to pull your basin closer to her, throwing a cheery “you owe me!” at your back and prompting a chuckle from your throat. uneasy murmurs had broken about amongst the women at the lake, though amy seemed unbothered by the same circumstances, focused completely on her task where as the others had slowed to a distracted crawl.

“yeah, I do, thanks. okay carl, take me to camp.” you ordered the boy, who nodded and shrugged your hand from his shoulder before dashing forward, kicking up dust from beneath his heels.

you swallowed down the command for carl to slow down that swelled in your throat and instead picked up your pace; if it was true that shane was currently grappling with someone, you couldn’t waste any time on chastising carl or slowing the pace. you had to get to camp to de-escalate the situation if it called for it.

by the time carl had broken through the foliage around the camp, your ears picked up the unmistakable rumble of shane’s voice; it held that same stern yet soft tone that he used when talking to criminal suspects – you’d been there when he’d done it before.

“… just hand me the gun and tell me your name, and we can get this all sorted.”

“I ain’t handin’ya my gun, pretty boy.” this voice was different; rugged and hoarse and dry, as if the owner of it had just chain-smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. “alls I’m lookin’ fer is my brother. I don’ have any other business with ya.”

shane sighed heavily just as you broke through the green shrubbery surrounding the east side of the camp. his hands were glued to his hips, lips pursed and eyes narrowed in annoyance at the man a few feet in front of him. when carl had first mentioned a gun, you worried that the man may have been pointing it at the ex-officer, or others; but it was instead holstered at the man’s hip, untouched and non-threatening.

“look, man, I get that. I don’t think you’re gonna hurt anybody; but we’ve got women and children here, and you’re a stranger with a gun. I can’t take any chances. I’m sure you understand.” shane coaxed further, removing a hand from his hip and extending an open palm to the man. the man glared down at shane’s hand but made no further movement; he didn’t reach for his gun, nor did he shift his feet at all, hell, you couldn’t even tell if the man was breathing at this point. but it was obvious this man wasn’t a threat – but if shane continued to pester him this way, he very well could become one; and with carl right next to you, that was a chance you couldn’t take.

shane huffed loudly and you saw his fingers twitch, as if he were barely holding back from striking at the man. you swallowed down your trepidation and pushed carl back, clearing your throat subtly before marching right up next to shane to confront the man.

“what’s your brother’s name? maybe we can help you find him; if he’s here.”

two pairs of eyes simultaneously snapped to you – one pair dark and narrowed in a harsh glare and the other quickly lighting up with barely-concealed interest. the stranger, a man with a buzz cut and wiry face, smiled widely at you, the tip of a pink tongue slipping just barely from between his lips as his eyes trailed your body. you pushed away the shiver that threatened to crawl up your spine and held the man’s gaze confidently until he was done with his blatant show of lewd conduct.

when his eyes met yours once more, there was a coy, feline smirk upon his lips, and his croaky voice had dropped a few octaves when he responded, “daryl. his name is daryl.”

for a moment, you sat silent, gnawing on your inner cheek and wracking your brain for just who ‘daryl’ could be. you didn’t know the names of every person in camp, but that list of unknowns was short – only three people. your heart constricted. could it be?

“so, your brother’s name is daryl. what’s yours?” shane piped up, voice edged with aggravation, as he rocked back on his heels and slipped his thumbs through his belt loops. the stranger’s eyes never left your body as he opened his mouth to respond, but the voice that echoed back didn’t belong to him.

“merle? what’d’ya think yer doin’ here?”

you didn’t have to look over your shoulder to know who the shambling footsteps behind you belonged to. your stomach twisted in on itself when a warm hand pushed you aside by the thick of your bicep, not too roughly but enough to have you stumbling slightly, the contact brief but enough to leave tingles in its wake. you glanced at the man between yourself and shane, taking note of the grimace on his face as he stared down the stranger.

the stranger, merle, took no heed to the glares that were fixed upon him. he smiled widely and threw his arms out as if expecting a hug.

“baby brother! isn’t it obvious? I’m here lookin’ fer ya.”

“you know him?” shane inquired, jerking his head in merle’s direction, eyes locked on the man between the two of you.

the man – daryl, as you now knew – shuffled on his feet and cast his eyes to the side, giving shane a brief once over. after that, daryl returned his eyes to merle and nodded.

“yeah. tha’s my brother.”

shane ran a shaky hand through his hair and chuckled hotly, muttering something underneath his breath. trepidation fluttered in your gut. you’d known shane long enough to know exactly what those mannerisms of his meant, and it didn’t spell anything good. you had a bad feeling shane was about to say something either highly stupid or highly impulsive; more than likely something that was both of those things at the same time.

“y’know, I don’t really have a problem with you, daryl. I never have. but this” – shane gestured to merle, who was still standing with his arms extended and that wide smile on his face – “is a bit dangerous. when you came here, you didn’t tell us jack about you; we didn’t know who you were, where you came from, or who you knew. and I didn’t bother to ask.”

daryl hadn’t moved a single inch since shane began speaking, eyes still fixed on merle, but the discomfort was plain as day on his face, and you felt irritation begin to bubble hot beneath your skin. granted, daryl was a haughty, antisocial prick, but why was shane acting like he did something wrong?

“I mean, this is just–”

“what’s your point, shane?” you cut the man off, a bit rudely, turning a sharp-eyed glare to him past daryl’s chest. shane’s eyes widened fractionally as if he hadn’t expected you to interject yourself, yet again, into a matter that he was handling on his own.

“my point is that daryl put us all in danger.” shane pressed, lowly, with a hand wave towards merle and dark eyes glaring daggers into yours. “we don’t know him, and we don’t know his brother. for all we know, merle could have stormed into camp, gun blazing-”

“but he didn’t.” you rebuked impatiently. you crossed your arms over your chest and tilted your head subtly to the side. “and that’s a risk that comes with everyone in the camp. we don’t know anyone here, other than each other. and even so, you haven’t seen me in three years. I may as well be a stranger, too.”

“that’s different. you’re like a little sister to me.” shane rebutted, prompting an eye roll and hip jut from you. you wouldn’t consider shane a brother even if he’d spent every moment of your youth with you. you swallowed down that statement in favor of keeping yourself on track with the real issue at hand.

“my point still stands. nothing bad happened, so why don’t you just cool your jets and back off a bit?”

shane’s lips thinned into a line, dark eyes darting between you, daryl and merle a couple times before he heaved a great sigh.

“okay, fine, you’re right. nothing happened. but I’d still like to have a conversation with both of you, if that’s alright.” shane conceded, directing his final statement at the two brothers still locked in a stare down. daryl only gave the tiniest of nods to display that he’d even acknowledged shane’s statement, and, satisfied with the knowledge that tensions had been quelled, you turned on your heel to head back to the lake and check on the progress of the laundry.

unbeknownst to you, the event that had just transpired would turn out to be the catalyst to a soon-to-come tension between shane and yourself, as well as the act that had garnered you a modicum of respect and interest from the rude, attractive man that you were sure would never even notice you; and that little problem that you thought was becoming much too big was only going to grow larger, and very quickly.

chapter one

a/n: tbh I struggled a bit with this one. it is just a prologue, a means of setting up the deeper story, but I still wanted it to come out as good as possible, and I feel I didn’t quite articulate that. but before this finalized version, I went through at least three drafts before finding this one to be somewhat adequate. if you guys enjoyed this one nonetheless, please show it some love! if you’re looking forward to more updates, consider following or being added to the taglist!

TAGLIST: @daryldixmedown

#daryl x reader #twd daryl #twd x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl imagines #daryl x female reader #daryl x you #the walking dead daryl #twd

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blueskittlesart · 4 months

Note

if dark link was in totk how do u think he'd be handled ?

badly

sigh ok hold on ill be serious. i don't really think a dark link in totk would ever be necessary because totk is already doing everything that dark link did in oot, just via different methods. environmental things like the silent princess memorials and the spirits of dead soldiers offering up weapons in the depths give us a sense of the guilt link must feel over his past actions, as well as the fact that the inciting incident of the game is a similarly-framed failure in the face of an enemy which takes zelda and causes widespread destruction to hyrule. i've said it before, but link literally carries proof of that mistake and the guilt from it with him for the entire game in the form of rauru's arm--a reminder that his OWN arm wasn't good enough to prevent all this.

I think there are a few fights which cumulatively have similar narrative weight for totk link to the oot dark link fight, one of them being the gloom hands/phantom ganon (and yes, there is at least one required instance of this fight in order to get the true ending of the game, it's in korok forest.) the gloom hands are imo representative specifically of link's fear of failure and his guilt over his past failures. there's a reason they manifest initially as hands, and when they chase him they perform that reaching motion that's so reminiscent of him reaching for zelda and ultimately failing to catch her. they also cause a "midday blood moon" effect when link approaches them, which is strikingly similar to the way the sky changes when you approach calamity ganon in botw--his first major failure. once you fight and defeat the gloom hands, they reveal their true form--phantom ganon. if the hands themselves are symbolic of link's guilt and percieved failure, phatom ganon is the truth behind it--it was never link's fault in the first place. ganon is the cause of the destruction. link is blaming himself for something that he is not at fault for, and only after he faces his own guilt and fear head-on will the actual truth (phantom ganon) be revealed.

the other fight that i think sort of occupies the same narrative space as dark link in oot is the puppet zelda/phantom ganon fight in the castle sanctum. similarly, this fight deals with illusion and memory, and is explicitly ganon manipulating link using his trauma and guilt. There's a reason ganon leads link up into the sanctum, a place which obviously holds a crazy amount of significance for him. there's a reason puppet zelda turns the ruined room pristine again, and there's a reason she specifically mentions "memories" multiple times as she does it. ganon is attempting to break link down by poking at what he knows are sore spots--link's guilt over the way that hyrule was destroyed during his hundred-year absence, the fact that he doesn't remember much of his life pre-calamity (if you watch his face during that cutscene when she says 'memories'... agh. anyways.) his guilt over specifically what happened to zelda. All of this comes together so that ganon can force a vulnerable and unprepared link into a difficult battle in the hopes of taking him out. When link defeats phantom ganon, the sanctum returns to its ruined state, and puppet zelda disappears completely from hyrule. she's not even in the blood moon cutscenes anymore. Metaphorically, this is link coming to terms with the fact that she's really gone, and that he has to keep going anyway.

#asks #zelda analysis #tldr i think he IS there in spirit :)

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the-scarlet-witch-22 · 9 months

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Love and Liabilities (Agatha Harkness x FemReader): Chapter One

Summary: While you attend a pretrial conference for your current case, you’re stunned to learn your opposing council is your former ex…and law school professor, Agatha Harkness

Word Count: 4.7k

Tags: 18+ Minors Do Not Engage!! Smut, Light Choking, Light Degradation Kink, Mommy Kink, Hate Sex

A/N: Hi :) This idea has been bouncing around my brain since the promo pics came out. Lawyer Agatha, the gift we all need for the new year. This is my first real attempt at writing smut, but I hope y’all enjoy. Updates will be around every 2 weeks. If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please let me know. Feel free to let me know what you think! 💜 Also a special shout-out to my sweet girlfriend, Sarah, thank you for always listening to my crazy ideas.

Smoothing out a wrinkle from your pantsuit, you looked over your case materials from outside the courtroom. It had been almost a decade since you graduated law school, and you’d spent the time since working in corporate law as a junior attorney, before leaving the firm and working your way up as a top prosecutor. To say you were married to your job would be an understatement. It wasn’t enough to be good, you simply had to be the best. You’d always pride yourself on your ability to dig deep in a case and pull out missing details, or find a crack in a seemingly perfect alibi. You were ruthless, but you knew you had to be. The defense attorneys you found yourself battling in court were absolute sharks, and if they sensed an ounce of hesitation on your end it would be a total bloodbath.

Dealing with criminal defense cases was as interesting as it sounded, although it wasn’t what you envisioned you’d be doing after law school. You had different dreams back then, more altruistic visions of helping those who needed it. Closing your eyes, you saw a brief flash of the strikingly blue eyes and dark hair that caused you to change your choice of career, before you quickly shook those thoughts aside. It had been almost ten years since you’d allowed yourself to think about her- about any of it, and it wouldn’t benefit you to take a stroll down memory lane before the biggest case of your career.

A law clerk eventually came by to inform you the judge was ready for you. This was it. Gathering your materials, you walked through the details again in your mind. Pre-trial conferences were relatively helpful when trying to reach a plea bargain, review evidence, as well as decide what to present to the jury. There was no doubt in your mind that this case would go to trial. After all, a woman who kidnaps two children and takes them to a small town in New Jersey didn’t leave much to plead innocent from. What was the name of it, Westchester? Westmont? No, no, you mentally crossed those out, until the name finally came to mind…Westview. Westview, New Jersey.

The room was relatively empty, and you recognized the judge, Carol Danvers. She had a reputation for being rather uptight, but was typically fair in her rulings. She’d moved up through various circuit courts throughout her career, and you’d heard rumblings she was being eyed for a potential Supreme Court nomination. Setting your briefcase on the empty chair next to you, you thought of any possible hiccups from the defense. Supposedly a brief psych evaluation had been done after the incident to rule anything out, so they wouldn’t try and plead insanity, right? You couldn’t see Carol ruling in favor of that. There was the small problem of genetics; the woman was the boys’ birth mother. But, you’d looked over the adoption contracts, as had your colleagues, and they were airtight. It had been a closed adoption, and from what you could tell there had been no contact for over a decade. Plus, with solid testimonies from both families and multiple eyewitnesses you weren’t worried of whatever argument the defense would make in her favor.

Speaking of the defense, you quickly realized the defense attorney hadn’t arrived yet, which was a bit unusual. Racking your brain, you tried to remember the name of the attorney Yelena said was leading the case, but no one came to mind. Pepper Potts perhaps? Carol also appeared to notice the lack of the second attorney, as she whispered with one of the law clerks. You could barely make out what they were saying, but she sounded annoyed. But, no matter, you knew this had absolutely no impact on you.

Carol finally sighed in defeat at whatever the law clerk told her, something about hitting a fire hydrant? “Well, as we’re waiting on the defense to resolve their…tardiness, will the prosecution step forward?”

Standing up, you grabbed a copy of your materials, evidence, testimonies, anything the judge would need, before taking a step towards the judge. “Your honor, the state of New York is ready to move forward with our case. You’ll find sufficient evidence to dismiss any plea deal, as well as ensure we can schedule a trial date.”

Handing the papers to the judge, you watched as she flipped through them, an unreadable expression on her face. Minutes passed before she looked up at you. “The prosecution is dismissing the plea deal being proposed by the defense?”

Nodding, you recalled the deal that had been sent over to your office. It was preposterous, and was heavily dependent on the mental state of the defendant, or rather the lack of mental state of the defendant. “Yes, your honor. The state has inculpatory evidence to convict the defendant, as well as a number of witnesses willing to testify.”

A voice you’d only heard in your dreams for the past decade spoke up, and you nearly froze in place. “Inculpatory evidence? That’s a rather bold claim, I’d call it circumstantial at best.”

It couldn’t be. Paralyzed, you forced yourself to ignore it, to ignore her and keep your eyes locked forward. It couldn’t possibly be her, you would have remembered hearing her name as the defense attorney. Clearing your throat, you continued, trying to keep yourself calm. “With all due respect, your honor, the typical procedure for a case involving the abduction of a minor is what we’re basing this precedent on-”

An obnoxiously loud cackle cut you off, and nearly made you whip your head around in annoyance. The slow clacking of heels echoed throughout the room, followed by the faint scent of Burberry that invaded your senses. Brief flashes of lecture halls and late night office hour visits intertwined with the smell of cigars and expensive whiskey. Lengthy, heated arguments over the moral justification of various Supreme Court rulings whilst being undressed and pressed against the door. Diamond jewelry and lavish bouquets being delivered to your modest law school apartment as you sheepishly explained to your roommates you were seeing an older woman. Secret rendezvous in dimly lit piano bars in Manhattan which would end in a king size bed in a penthouse you could never dream of affording.

It all led back to the same thought, the same woman you’d done your best to let go of. The very same woman you currently found yourself standing face to face with. Agatha Harkness. Clever blue eyes met yours, and a slow smirk painted her perfect red lips. She hadn’t changed much over the past decade. Her dark hair, now peppered with some gray, was pinned back with a few loose strands framing her face, and you briefly thought of how well it suited her. The fitted black pantsuit which accentuated her features, and black heels that made her look deceptively tall as she towered over you.

For a moment it was as if no time had passed at all, and you were back in her lecture hall. But as quickly as that oddly nostalgic feeling overcame you like a tidal wave, it swept away, leaving you with the reality of the situation. Clearing your throat, you looked past Agatha, keeping your focus on Judge Danvers. “As I was saying. While looking at prior cases involving the abduction of a minor we were able to set a precedent that-”

Agatha let out another cackle, and it took everything in you to not roll your eyes. However it appeared Carol was at the end of her rope with patience, as she banged her gavel twice. “Does the defense have something they wish to share with the rest of us?”

“Your honor,” Agatha drawled out, her voice sweet like honey, “The prosecution is making bold assumptions on precedents that do not directly follow the evidence of this particular case. To rule anything otherwise would be direct defamation to my client.”

“Defamation?” You all but hissed, momentarily forgetting you were in the middle of a courtroom. The answering smirk Agatha gave you only fuelled your fire. “Your honor, the defense is all but negating the direct evidence of the defendant’s guilt. We would like to proceed to trial while throwing out the plea deal.”

Agatha’s shark tooth grin widened, and you had a sneaking suspicion she was baiting you to get a reaction. Typical, as she always prided herself on being ten steps ahead of her opponent. Taking a deep breath, you regained your calm composure. It would do you no good to allow your emotions to take over. That would merely ensure Agatha to have one more victory over you, one more thing she would take away from you. But things were different this time, you weren’t some feeble, naive law student fawning over her professor. The playing field was finally leveled, and it was about time she realized that.

Unfortunately, you forgot Agatha never played fair. You curiously watched her grab two folders from her briefcase, all but tossing one at you whilst handing Carol the other. “While we’re discussing the plea deal your honor, I’ve included additional information regarding my client’s psychiatric evaluation.”

Practically tearing the folder open, your eyes scanned the lengthy documents before landing on something that nearly made you fall over. Before you could get a word in, Agatha continued on. “Due to our country’s ever failing healthcare and medical practices, my client has been unable to receive a proper psychiatric evaluation. Your honor, I am requesting a continuance to this trial until my client can get the help she needs.”

Carol’s focus remained on the papers, an inscrutable expression coloring her features. “I’m granting a one month continuance for the defendant, Wanda Maximoff, to be given a psychiatric evaluation. As long as Miss Maximoff follows the terms of her probation and doesn’t leave the state of New York, we’ll resume this conference one month from today. Thank you to the prosecution and defense, you’re dismissed.”

Not wanting to see the smug smirk on Agatha’s face, you packed up your materials, including the folder Agatha gave you, and did your best to hurry out of the courtroom. It was foolish to think you’d beat Agatha at the game she taught you to play. That’s what it always was to Agatha, a game. It was like everyone around her was playing checkers while she was constructing the most elaborate game of chess known to man. All while she moved you around as whatever piece she desired; because that’s how she viewed you, as an object she could twist and mold to her liking until you outlived your usefulness.

Ignoring the familiar sound of her heels approaching, you drafted a quick email to one of your colleagues with the news of the trial being halted before going to order your Uber. You didn’t have to look up to know Agatha was standing in front of you, because that was just part of her intricate plan. She surely knew you were furious, because of course she did. Hadn’t she once told you she knew everything? At the time you thought it was a cheeky remark to make you laugh, but looking back you came to terms with the fact that the only person Agatha Harkness could ever care for was herself.

You were growing weary of the rising tension, so you finally broke the silence, keeping your eyes locked on your phone. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m not sure,” Agatha replied, and although you weren’t looking at her you could practically feel her gaze burning into you. “I never took you for a sore loser, dear.”

There it was, she was trying to get her claws back in you. Keeping your tone even, you checked on the status of your Uber. “I’m not sure I know what you’re referring to. I’m just doing my job.”

Before you could comprehend what was happening, your phone was ripped from your hands. “Hey!” You exclaimed, angrily whipping your head up and your eyes narrowed, meeting the deep blue eyes you used to get lost in. “Give me back my phone.”

“Checking for your ride?” Agatha mocked, arching an eyebrow up at you. “Is that more interesting than talking to me?”

“Watching paint dry would be more interesting than speaking with you,” You retorted, your discomfort quickly growing.

“Now darling, is that any way to speak to me?” Agatha teased, her voice gradually dropping in volume. “It’s been so long.”

Glaring at her, you tried to pry your phone from her hands, but she put it in her back pocket. “And whose fault is that again?” Your voice was laced with venom, you subconsciously wanted to make her feel as badly as you had. “Should we take a stroll down memory lane and recall what caused this?”

Agatha’s gaze hardened at that jab, and you momentarily wondered if you pushed too hard. “I’m surprised you’re leading this case. I thought you wanted to,” she paused and used air quotes, “‘help the voiceless’, not strangle them.”

“How dare you,” You seethed, not caring that your voice was growing in volume. “I’m just doing my job, Agatha. Besides, isn’t strangling the helpless what you do best?”

Agatha tilted her head back, and let out another cackle. “Doing your job? You’re trying to imprison an innocent mother.”

“Your innocent mother kidnapped two minors and took them over state lines,” You fired back, vaguely aware that Agatha was taking small, slow steps towards you.

“She’s still their mother,” Agatha pointed out and you felt your face grow red from rage.

“Regardless of DNA, it was a closed adoption. She waived her parental rights,” You argued, unaware of anything but the infuriating woman standing in front of you. “Surely you’ve been practicing long enough to know how to read a contract.”

“And I thought I taught you to read between the lines of said contracts,” Agatha countered, and you knew she was testing your argument, it’s what she always did. “Things aren’t always black and white, dear.”

No they weren’t, you silently agreed. By this point your back was to the wall of the deserted corridor, Agatha still towering over you. Your faces were practically touching, and you could practically taste her lips. Both of you were panting from the exertion of bickering, and it wouldn’t take much to close the distance. She was so close, closer than she had been to you in so long. Having her back in your orbit, taking over all of your senses, made you forget the reasons you were so angry with her. Instead, it made you remember how many other times you had found yourself in this exact same position.

You could feel your ironclad restraint begin to slip away, and Agatha appeared to notice it as well. She let out a low chuckle as she turned her face to the side, her breath now hot against your ear, and allowing her to whisper, “Looks like it still doesn’t take much to get you riled up, does it?”

Shuddering, you struggled to get your breathing even, thinking of the many reasons why this was a horrible idea. Your history aside, you were on opposing sides of what would most likely be a very public case. It wasn’t just unprofessional to be doing this, it could potentially jeopardize your whole career. But it was hard to think about any of that when you locked eyes with the woman you had spent so much time trying to forget. Her right hand left your waist to push back the loose strands of your hair, tucking them behind your ear.

Each movement was slow, and delicate, and as her fingers slowly trailed down your neck, she gently squeezed, before gradually applying more pressure, and you had to physically restrain yourself from moaning. You could feel the heat pooling between your legs and had to close your eyes from the overwhelming sensation. Agatha’s lips moved to your neck, pressing hot, open kisses on your flesh while her fingers began to move lower, cupping your left breast before slowly pinching your nipple. This time you couldn’t stop the quiet moan that left your lips, and Agatha quickly used her free hand to silence you, covering your mouth.

“You always had a problem being quiet,” Agatha murmured, lips still on your skin. “Let’s find somewhere more…secluded to continue this, hm?”

Feeling yourself nod, you opened your eyes and let out a pathetic whine as she let go of you. It didn’t take long to find an empty storage closet, and Agatha practically shoved you inside before slamming the door behind her.

Pressing you against the bare wall, her eyes scanned yours before asking, “Are you sure?”

Being with Agatha like this was the greatest euphoric high, and it always left you wanting more and more. It didn’t have to mean anything, and you certainly didn’t want it to. It was just two people working out their frustrations, right? You nodded again, grabbing her right hand and placing it back around your throat. “Are you going to choke me again or are you too much of a coward?”

She nearly growled at that, and squeezed, a little rougher this time. You pressed your face into her shoulder, trying to silence the noises you always made when she touched you. She had barely started but it was so good, and you didn’t hesitate when she used her free hand to try and remove your blazer. Taking a step back to take off your blouse and bra, you nearly tripped over some boxes, and her hands steadied you.

“Careful,” She lightly teased, eyes still dark from arousal. “I’m not nearly finished with you.”

Her hands skillfully unhooked your bra, carelessly tossing it to the side, before lowering her mouth to your breast, and lewdly sucked. As if she anticipated the noises you’d inevitably make, she roughly pressed two fingers in your open mouth for you to suck. Moaning around them, you eagerly sucked and sucked, thinking of where you wanted her fingers to go next. Agatha’s tongue swirled around your nipple, teasing it enough to make it go erect before using her teeth to pull. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, your last functioning brain cells wondering how she could still have this strong of an effect on you.

She let out a low hum, clearly enjoying this as much as you were before moving to your other breast, only this time she bit down, and the rush of pain and pleasure flooded you. Unable to cry out as she fucked her fingers further down your throat before adding a third, causing you to gag around them. Releasing your breast, Agatha panted out, “Look at how pathetic you are, sucking on my fingers like a good little slut. What a good girl.”

Whimpering around her fingers, you clenched at the filth spewing from her lips. You hated this, how easily she could flip the switch and have you dripping and wanting her to fuck you through the floorboards. Agatha cooed, using her free hand to gently stroke your face, and roughly pulled her fingers out of your mouth. She was face level again, and you watched the gears turn in her head as she weighed out what to do with you. That same free hand cupped your jaw, and she was so close, your brain buzzing from the endorphins. It was so good, you hated how good it was.

Her normally perfectly red lips were stained and parted slightly as she looked at you with an indecipherable stare, and you were still breathless from her earlier ministrations. Before you could fully comprehend what you were doing, you grabbed her hair and smashed your lips together. You swore you heard her groan, but it was gone as quickly as it came, and you had no time to contemplate it as you felt her tongue teasing the entrance of your mouth. It has been so long, so very long, but you fell back into the familiar dance you could never forget.

Everything Agatha did she dominated, for she had such a strong presence that was impossible to ignore. Just kissing her was enough to get you off, as her tongue expertly swirled around yours, sending you further and further from the edge of reality. You were so far gone you barely noticed her hands moving lower, and lower, until they were pawing at your ass. Groping and grabbing, she was insatiable as she conquered your mouth. You broke apart for merely a second and without speaking, you helped get rid of your pants, slightly stunned you were still this in sync after all this time.

But again, you had no time to ponder that thought as Agatha quickly slammed you against the wall, and you couldn’t help but moan at the pain. The same fingers you eagerly sucked on were now teasing your entrance, rubbing gentle, slow circles. Agatha’s breath was hot in your ear, and you whined, trying to thrust your hips up for more friction. You needed more, you needed her more than ever before. Going without for so long was fine, you’d nearly forgotten what it felt like, what she felt like; but the second you remembered you couldn’t bear a second without it.

“Someone’s awfully worked up,” Agatha taunted, her voice softly whispering in your ear. “Did you want something?”

“Agatha…” You breathed out, your voice nearly cracking. “Please…”

Her fingers teased your clit, and the sensation made you cry out, causing Agatha to silence you with yet another kiss. “Behave,” she murmured against your lips, “Do you want me inside you? Do you want me to fill that sweet little cunt?”

Mewling, you again tried to tilt your hips up, desperate to feel her inside you, but her other hand kept you in place. “Agatha, please, I…I need it, please fuck me.”

Agatha arched an eyebrow, “I know your brain just melts when that pussy gets wet, but we both know that’s not what you want to call me, is it?” Blushing, you tried to avert your eyes but it was impossible. She nipped at your lips before continuing. “Be a good girl and beg for it.”

“Mommy,” The words slipped past your lips and you felt another rush of heat between your legs while Agatha moaned.

“Good girl,” Agatha praised you, and before you could prepare yourself she roughly entered you with two fingers, filling you completely.

Her fingers were so long and so good, hitting the spots you had trouble reaching. You couldn’t help but clench around them, and she groaned in your ear. Wasting no time, she set a fast and hard rhythm, skillfully fucking you better than anyone else since her had been able to.

“I almost forgot how good your cunt feels around my fingers,” Agatha hissed, nibbling on your ear, “Suck me in, slut.”

Your hips met her fingers, and you desperately chased your orgasm. “Harder, please mommy fuck me harder.”

Putting all of her weight on you, Agatha swiftly added a third finger and you nearly squealed at how full you felt. Her fingers were so deep, and you were so close, so very close to the edge.

“Such a good whore for mommy,” Agatha cooed, and her voice was strained, you could tell she was close too. “Do you want to come on my fingers?”

“Mommy please,” You cried out, unable to focus on anything but wanting to feel her fingers make you come harder than you could ever remember.

Agatha’s hips rested against your knee, and she began riding your leg, chasing her own high. “Come for mommy, baby. Soak my fingers.”

Twisting her fingers and hitting your G-spot again, and again causing you to quickly unravel. Feeling your orgasm coming, you clenched around her fingers, needing her to stay inside you. Your knees buckled and you swore you saw stars, unable to speak as you silently cried out. Agatha came right as you did, grunting in your ear and roughly thrusting against your leg as she came undone.

“Fuck,” She panted, keeping her fingers inside you as you continued to twitched around them. “Good girl, such a good girl for mommy.”

Breathing heavily, you gradually felt yourself come back to Earth. You were drenched with sweat, and you were sure you looked positively debauched. Agatha was staring at you with yet another inscrutable expression on her face, and you felt yourself relaxing around her fingers as she slowly pulled out. You grabbed her hand, and lewdly cleaned her fingers off, watching her eyes darken once more as you made a point to swirl your tongue around them until they were clean.

As your brain fog cleared, you were all too aware of the uncomfortable silence growing around you. With every high that came with being with Agatha, it was almost always followed by an indescribable low. There were so many things you wanted to ask her, so many things you needed to know. Brief flashes of arguments and slamming doors. Dozens of unanswered calls, and late nights spent wondering what you had done wrong to deserve her random outbursts of anger. But with every argument, every heated fight, it would always end the same way; with Agatha pressing you against some surface and having her way with you.

There had been so much more going on at that point than you were aware of, and as the pieces slowly came together, she was too far gone for you to be able to help. You’d begged and pleaded with her, but it never mattered. What was it your therapist had said to you? You couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to help themselves. Letting go of her nearly killed you, and now you made the mistake of opening that door again, knowing how much more complicated it would be. You weren’t just her law student anymore, you were on opposing sides of a trial.

It appeared Agatha was having the same train of thought as you, for she wordlessly helped you find your clothes. In spite of her just being inside you, you made a point of turning around as you got dressed, as the air in the room seemed to drop and any of the warmth that had been there prior had disappeared. There was so much you wanted to say, yet simultaneously wanted to get as far away from her as you could.

Agatha finally broke the silence as she fixed her hair, and she was back to her usual condescending self. “You know you’re wrong pursuing this case, right? It’s not too late to back out.”

Rolling your eyes, you finally grabbed your phone from her back pocket and saw your Uber driver understandably canceled your ride. That would certainly tank your rating. You quickly ordered another before replying with, “You know this meant absolutely nothing to me, right?”

Pushing past her to exit the room, she let out another cackle, the sound like grating nails on a chalkboard in your ears. You knew she wouldn’t follow you, and you were thankful for that. This was an indiscretion, a momentary lapse of judgment. You’ve been on edge with all the extra hours you’ve been working; you weren’t thinking clearly. The courthouse was still relatively empty, and you left the building, trying to get the thought of Agatha out of your mind. Why did she have to be so infuriating?

Your Uber eventually rolled up and as you got in you went to check your work email. It never failed to amaze you how quickly your inbox would fill up when you didn’t check it for more than five minutes. Scrolling through, you vaguely listened to the music your driver had in in the background, until a familiar song started playing. Frank Sinatra, a favorite artist of a certain attorney. The Way You Look Tonight had always been one of her favorites, and you could remember the last time you listened to it together.

Your mind absentmindedly drifted, the memories you’d tried to lock away slowly creeping back up to the surface. It seemed no matter how hard you tried to forget, she didn’t want you to. Settling into your seat, listening to Frank Sinatra, you thought back to the first time you met Agatha, or rather, how you met Professor Harkness.

#agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness #agatha harkness fanfiction #agatha harkness smut

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