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hops-hunny · 3 years

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Girls Like Her

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Black!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.7k

Request: N/A

Summary: In which Kyoya is smitten and not afraid to show it.

Warnings: None! Fluff.

A/N: this is so self indulgent and I don't even care I NEEDED some Kyoya with a black girl bc where's all the color in the ouran community??

Kyoya had a fine eye for spectacular things. Running the host club with Tamaki required it. He was always looking for something of interest that he knew the guest would like and that would bring in a nice bit of money as well. That's why he was mesmerized when he saw (Y/n). Sure, Kyoya had seen girls that were deemed "beautiful" by whatever measure of beauty the rest of his high class socialite peers thought. However, he had never put much thought into what he personally found beautiful but now thanks to her, he didn't need to.

Sure he had seen women with nice skin. It wasn't very uncommon. Going to school with girls whose parents made most people's yearly salary in a day meant they were well cared for. They took care of their skin with the finest of products, as did he. However her skin was unmatched. Nice hues of brown which glowed beautifully in the soft daylight of music room 3. Not a blemish or wrinkle in sight. Smooth and brown all over like a bewitching goddess. And sure other girls had hair. It was all a blur to him however, nothing he could point out or was anything but ordinary. All of it was the same straight hair in the same bland style. But hers however?

She wore some of the most elaborate styles he had ever seen. He didn't know the proper names for them at first but the more she visited the host club, the more he'd overhear her speak about them to the other guest. Box braids, goddess twist, faux locs. Each style suited and complimented her well. Anytime she'd change it up he'd observe it carefully, viewing every bump and turn on the art that was her hair. His favorite though was when she'd wear it naturally.

God was it a sight. A large, picked to perfection afro atop her head like the crown a princess, no, a queen of her caliber should have. It reminded him of the clouds in the sky he'd see on a nice summer afternoon except far more eye catching and far more mesmerizing.

"Tamaki?" Kyoya questioned, looking up at his blonde friend. The last few of the guest had trickled out by now.

"Yes mommy dear?" He quipped, walking over to his raven haired friend.

"Is there a reason we don't see Lady (L/n) any time other than the host club? How come I've never seen her in any of our classes?" He asked, trying to ignore the stupid look Tamaki had on his face.

"Kyoya, are you in love?! Oh how amazing! I always knew this wo-"

"Forget it, this is a waste of time." He began to head to the door but stopped as Tamaki stopped his path.

"Wait! (L/N) as in (Y/n) (L/n) right? She's a year below us, that's why you probably never see her outside of class. We don't have any classes with her except lunch if you count that." Kyoya hummed at the man's words before walking to the door, opening it.

"Thank you." He said, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.

"No problem, dear friend."

--------------------------

Kyoya stood behind his podium, greeting guests as they came through. He offered each of them the same fake smile he'd give, confirming their host choice for the day. He never cared too much to remember faces, just the different things they'd enjoy and how he could make profit off of them. Well everyone except-

"Kyooo! What's up? How ya doin today?" She chirped, leaning close to him as she offered him a bright smile from behind her supple plump lips. He smiled down at her, a genuine one (not that he'd ever let anyone know that).

"Ah, lady (L/n). A pleasure to see you as always. Your usual I presume?" He said, searching for the twins' names as he went to check the mark.

"Actually I thought I'd switch things up today!"

"Really? Who will it be then?" Whoever it was would be so lucky to be graced with the girl's presence. Her smile grew wider at his question as she leaned even closer.

"You! You do host right? I haven't seen anyone come to you for some time." She mused, resting a brown hand on his arm. Normally he'd remove himself from anyone's touch but for her he didn't mind so much. He'd even go as far as to say he enjoyed it. "Any excuse to stare at that nice face of yours longer."

'The same could be said even more so about you, darling.' Is what he wanted to say but consumed by his own nerves he let them get the best of him. "Usually I find myself too busy to," he started, noticing her face drop, "However I can always make exceptions for ladies of such high beauty as yourself, princess." She smiled, heading over to the empty table that Kyoya rarely hosts at. She sat on the couch across from him, fiddling and moving around as usual. (Y/n) was an unusual energetic girl who found that she couldn't sit still for more than a few seconds, which was a trait that usually drove him up the wall but when it came to her he found it to be quite cute.

“You’re not going to eat or drink anything?” (Y/n) asked, shoving her mouth with the tiny tea cakes that sat on the silver cake stand. Kyoya let a soft smile take his face as he watched her. He always kept them hidden in the back because he knew they were her favorite and they were far more expensive than anything else they served. The cakes themselves were imported from France daily which was obviously a pretty penny but, he didn’t mind. The smile on her face made it worth the extra bit of cash.

“I’m not much of a fan of sugar, it’s bad for your skin.” he stated, looking down at the little black book in his hands. She hummed processing his words before wiping her mouth off with a napkin.

“Well what do you usually drink? I wanna have the same thing as you!”

“I’m a fan of earl grey served black. No sugar, no cream.” he said. She eyed him carefully before giggling. She leaned in close, looking into his dark eyes as he stared back.

“Yeah you seem to be quite the fan of,” she cleared her throat to hide a giggle. “Black things.” Kyoya set his cup down, choking on the liquid. (Y/n) sat back in her seat satisfied, laughing loudly as she threw her head back. A few of the guests stared at her with angry eyes, upset by her mild disturbance. But, she didn’t care. She never did. Once his choking died down, she sent him a wink. “I’m only messing with you, Kyo-chan! Lightin up will yeah? Anyways I’d like to have a cup of what you're drinking. It couldn’t be too bad, right?”

Wrong, she had been deeply wrong. Kyoya smiled in amusement as she sputtered out the tea, coughing dramatically. “Is it not to your liking, dear?” he asked in a sarcastically cheerful tone.

“Like hell it is! This shit is gross.” she began to pout, pushing the cup away from her. “I’d like my usual back please.” she said, looking up at him. He felt his face heat up slightly as he nodded his head, grabbing her cup before heading off with it. He searched the shelves carefully before finding her usual and preparing the way he knew she liked it. Too much sugar and too much cream. He chuckled at the thought, 'it suits her.'

(Y/n) smiled as he returned with her cup taking a sip as she let out a sigh of content. "As much as I'm enjoying my time with you today, my lady, I'm curious about your sudden shift. You always without a doubt choose the twins." He questioned, watching as she delicately set her cup down on the wooden table. He admired her presence. She was graceful but in a way he had never seen before, unique just like everything else about her.

"Do you want the real answer or the fake answer?" She questioned, biting the inside of her cheek nervously. Kyoya had a split second of a confused look before offering her another smile.

"Honestly is the best policy, my dear."

"Well- you see- ugh!" She huffed, slouching back in her seat. He couldn't help but find it adorable how the big ugly yellow dress swallowed her whole during that action. "I always wanna request for you Kyo-chan but you always seem so busy, so distant. I figured I'd let you have your own peace." She leaned forward on her hand as she rested her elbow on the table. "And besides, I've seen you reject to host much prettier girls so why would you host me?"

Kyoya's eyes widened at the (h/c) haired girls announcement. Prettier girls, than her? Too busy, for her? He chuckled some catching the girl's attention. Before she could ask him what was up he began to speak. "I don't mean to laugh in your face princess but I think you've got it twisted." He stood up, pulling the girl close to his chest. The other host watched with wide eyes and their mouths open at Kyoya's uncharacteristic behavior. "There are no prettier girls nor is there anyone I'd rather spend my time with," he tilted her head up bringing his face closer to hers, "Than you." (Y/n) stood there breathless at his words. Her eyes gleamed brightly at his confession.

"Are you busy this weekend?" She asked him faintly.

"Well, I'd have t-"

"Well now you're not. Take me on a date." His eyes widened at her forwardness before laughing softly. She did have a way of doing that, leading the way in any conversation no matter what the topic.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" He teased, pulling back from his hold to push his glasses up his nose. "Either way, alright dear. How could I say no to you?"

Tamaki watched from a far with a hand over his heart, genuine tears falling out of his eyes. In all his time he had known Kyoya, he had never seen him passionate about much of anything. To see his friend so sure of himself, so content in his emotions moved him. Thank god for the sun that had taken away Kyoya from his rainy days.

#kyoya x reader #ohshc kyoya #kyoya ootori #kyoya x you #kyoya x y/n #kyoya ootori x reader #black!reader #black reader #poc!reader #poc reader

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omgrachwrites · 4 years

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Our Souls Crave This Magic- Chapter Three

Pairing: Prince Caspian x Reader

Summary: All you want is a quiet year of university as you and your best friend, Edmund move to New York City. Though, that all changes when you meet the spoiled trust fund brat, Caspian. College au.

Warnings: fluff, slow burn romance, enemies to lovers

Words: 2463

Disclaimer: This gif doesn’t belong to me,all characters are 18+

A/N: Literally just realised how many side characters I’ll have to put in this bc Narnia characters don’t work hahaha! Also, I know that Caspian’s parents are dead, omg Nathaniel Parker is his dad but in this they’re alive and well! Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think, please let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

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Chapter Three - An Odd Companionship

You were in heaven, or at least you were as close to heaven as you were ever likely to get as your eyes roamed over all the Halloween themed snacks. There were things that you’d hardly even heard of such as, pumpkin spiced m&ms and chocolate with candy corn in the middle. You loved Halloween, when you were in university in London; you loved to decorate your dorm room, even though 9 times out of 10 you’d be going out to a party. It seemed that Halloween was an even bigger thing over here in America so you knew that you had to decorate your loft apartment.

Glancing behind you, you laughed at the bored look on Edmund’s face; he looked over at you and scowled as he pulled a tongue at you. Lucy, on the other hand looked as excited as you felt, “ooh, marshmallow Oreos,” she grinned and her face lit up, “I should send some over to Susan,” she took a packet off the shelf and threw it into the cart.

Edmund groaned in frustration as he covered his eyes as he trailed behind, “I get why we’re decorating the loft, it’s a tradition and the both of you are obsessed. But, do we really need to buy all of the snacks?”

Ed wasn’t a fan of Halloween. Lucy gasped in horror as she placed her hand over her heart, she was so dramatic, “how can you even say that? These snacks trump the ones in England!” she scoffed at him before wandering down the aisle, intent on grabbing more snacks.

Ed carelessly flung an arm around your shoulders and you smiled up at him, resting your head on his shoulder. Then, your best friend dropped a major bombshell, “Caspian is coming over to help us decorate,” you groaned in frustration, receiving stares from strangers but you didn’t care.

You pinched your temples as annoyance shot through every inch of your body. It was the worst news that you’d heard all day, “jesus, Ed! Why does he have to come over?”

Ed smirked as he looked at you without sympathy, “I think that you’re forgetting, Y/N, just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean I can’t be his friend.”

“He called me a slut,” you pouted as you both caught up with Lucy, you were still sore about that fact.

Ed huffed out a deep laugh, “actually, he didn’t.”

“He didn’t have to, Ed! It was implied.”

Edmund rolled his eyes and lowered his voice so Lucy wouldn’t hear the conversation you were both having, “okay, maybe it was implied but trust me, he didn’t mean it. I think he feels awful about it actually.”

You scoffed as you looked away, wrapping your arms around yourself, he should feel bad, Ed stopped you by placing his hands on your shoulders, worry etched into every corner of his freckled face, “Y/N,” he sighed, biting his lip and you knew that he was trying to find the right words, “please don’t lie to yourself and don’t pretend that you liked Caspian before all that happened. Don’t bring what your dad did into this, Caspian is not the same.”

Edmund’s eyes were so intense and worried that you had to look away, all of the Pevensie siblings were there for you when your dad betrayed your family. And for that, you felt eternally grateful. But, you didn’t want to talk about your dad.

“I can see that you really care about Caspian but I just don’t share your judgement but I suppose for you, I can tolerate him,” you smiled, “even though he is the most insufferable person that I’ve ever met, I hope you know that I would never ask you to choose between Caspian and I,” you would never make your best friend do that.

Edmund laughed as he cupped your cheek, “well that’s a good thing because I really like Caspian,” he smiled when you frowned at him and tilted your head, “you’re my best friend, Y/N, if I had to choose between you and Caspian, I would always choose you.”

You laughed bashfully as you rubbed the back of your neck; you weren’t used to people putting you first. Before you burst into tears like a total loser, you pulled Ed into a hug, inhaling the fresh scent of his aftershave.

Later on that day, you and Lucy entertained yourselves by working your way through some of the Halloween chocolate as you decorated the loft. It had been a long time coming but New York was finally beginning to feel like home. Presumably, Edmund was off somewhere sulking, he wasn’t getting involved with the whole decorating thing but you wanted to go all out. You knew that you’d probably be working on Halloween, but the beauty of college parties was the fact that they seemed to go on all night.

As you were adding fake cobwebs to the corners of the kitchen, there came a quiet knock on the door. Your blood ran cold and you scowled to yourself when Ed answered the door and you heard Caspian’s soft melodic voice. Despite yourself, you peered over your shoulder to look at the handsome man as he grinned at Ed and ran his hands through his thick hair. You were surprised when you noticed that he was wearing a simple white shirt and jeans. You were almost fooled into believing that he was just like everyone else, but you knew the truth.

“Hi, Caspian,” Lucy shouted joyfully and you narrowed your eyes at her as she pulled him into a hug. What a traitor.

“Hey, Lucy,” you could hear the smile in Caspian’s voice and you rolled your eyes, “how are you?”

“I’m good thank you, I’m going to go and decorate the bedrooms, are you alright, Y/N?” you glanced back at Lucy who shot you a meaningful glance as she walked away.

Caspian bit his lip and looked at you from beneath his thick eyelashes, and you noticed that he had the decency to look guilty, “want any help, Y/N?” he muttered and you sighed, remembering the promise that you’d made to Ed.

“Sure, Caspian. You’re on skeleton duty,” you gestured to the plastic bones by the door, “don’t mess it up,” you teased.

Caspian smirked and you had to look away, he was so blindingly handsome in that moment, not that you’d ever admit it, “I’ll try not to.”

The both of you somehow managed to work in harmony for a little while until Caspian halted his movements and out of the corner of your eye, you saw him glance at you. You almost felt the burn of his eyes on your skin.

“Y/N,” he started and when you looked over at him you were surprised to see that his deep brown eyes were soft and a crease was forming in the middle of his forehead, “I owe you an apology; I didn’t mean what I implied the other week. I was in a bad mood, lack of sleep you know.”

You grimaced, it was your fault that he hadn’t got any sleep that night, “right,” you flushed as he walked behind you to grab some tape, the warm spicy scent of his aftershave washing over you, “I’m sorry about that.”

Caspian shrugged, “I think I was jealous too.”

His confession shocked you so much that you gasped and almost toppled off the chair that you were standing on. How was he jealous? “Jealous?” you squeaked.

Caspian’s eyes widened as he realised how it sounded and you could tell that he was trying to backtrack, “I swear, not in the way you think, it’s just, it’s been a while,” he flushed and you found that it was pretty endearing.

A frown graced your features as surprise wracked through your body, you hated Caspian but you weren’t blind to his attractive looks and mild mannerisms. Most girls would fantasise about him, “seriously?” you raised an eyebrow, “no park avenue princesses’ have won you over?”

Caspian let out a deep laugh that would reduce most people to a puddle, “nope,” he smiled as he picked up a can of silly string, “although I’m flattered that you’re surprised, even if you don’t think much of me.”

Caspian’s voice was teasing but you still kind of felt guilty, if you were being truthful, it wasn’t all that personal because you hated everyone like him, it didn’t matter who they were. People who had too much money and not enough sense got on your nerves.

“Trust me, Caspian I have my reasons for not liking you.”

Caspian touched your elbow gently as he walked past you, “I wish you would tell me what they are, because I know that you’re hiding something, Y/N.”

You wouldn’t open yourself up to Caspian, no matter how many sweet smiles that he shot your way. There was no way that you were going to be allying with your enemy; Hell would have to freeze over first.

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A couple of weeks later, Caspian was sitting in the living room of Edmund’s loft apartment with his text book open on the coffee table. The words in the text book in front of Caspian seemed to swim before his tired eyes, the young man groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face as his head began to throb. He glanced over at Edmund who was fast asleep with his cheek sticking to the paper of his essay with his mouth agape. Caspian chuckled and looked over at the clock; it was a little past 2 in the morning.

Caspian was glad that Ed had suggested that they studied at his apartment, Caspian had had a row with his housemates, they were some of his closest friends but lately, they were pissing him off. Caspian stretched his tired muscles, he needed to finish this essay but they had run out of coffee a little over an hour ago. He stood from the couch, fully intent on grabbing some more coffee when he saw that Y/N’s bedroom light was still on and the door was slightly ajar.

Biting his lip, Caspian decided to ask her if she wanted anything, he’d feel bad if he didn’t at least ask. He swallowed and peeked his head through her open door and he was awe struck with what he saw. Y/N had her back to him and she was painting a beautiful landscape of a castle in ruins, surrounded by mountains and an ocean. It was so hauntingly beautiful.

“Y/N?” he called out softly and she jumped as she was startled and she whipped around to look at him.

“Caspian?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you, I was going to go and grab some coffee, do you want anything?”

Her lips parted slightly, like she was surprised that he’d even ask, her eyes were downcast for a second as she fiddled with her fingers. Caspian had never seen such a look on her face before, it seemed that she was in fact, human, “would you mind it if I came with you?”

“Oh!” Caspian exclaimed, gobsmacked that she wanted to go with him but she looked a little upset, maybe she needed a break, “sure, Y/N. Of course.

Y/N smiled tightly at him as she grabbed her distressed leather jacket before following Caspian into the main part of the loft. As soon as she saw the state that Ed was in she giggled, shaking her head. Her laugh was a pretty sound when it wasn’t directed at Caspian’s expense, “someone couldn’t cut it, huh?”

Caspian laughed at the smirk on her pretty face as they walked out into the cold night together, it was an odd companionship, “did you need a break or something? That’s the only reason I can think of as to why you would actually spend time with me willingly,” he teased and Y/N laughed as she bumped her shoulder against his.

“I sure did need a break; my art assignment is really kicking my arse.”

Caspian bit his lip and decided to try his luck, “is that what you were painting. From where I was standing, it looked beautiful.”

Almost at once, Y/N tensed up and her face grew stoic which was a shame, “thank you but um, no that’s something else,” she ran a hand through her messy hair but she didn’t elaborate.

“What was it?” Caspian asked with interest, they were actually having an adult conversation and he didn’t want to stop now.

Y/N scoffed as she gave him the side eye, “nice try, keep dreaming, pretty boy.”

Caspian chuckled as he held up his hands in defence, “can’t blame a guy for trying.”

As they were walking down the dark high street, Caspian internally groaned they ran into a family friend who was leaving a bar, he was completely insufferable. Why the hell was he in a bar in Brooklyn? Michael smirked as he looked from Caspian to Y/N, if Y/N thought that Caspian was an arrogant trust fund baby then he was nothing compared to this guy.

“Hello, Caspian, you’re out late, it definitely looks like you’re slumming it but I never would have believed it,” his lip curled when he noticed Caspian’s NYU jumper and Caspian’s blood boiled in anger. Michael raised an eyebrow as he looked over at Y/N, “at least you’re slumming it with a pretty girl.”

Y/N let out an angry breath as she glared at Michael, “watch it, wanker.”

Michael grimaced, his blue eyes cold and lifeless, “interesting, a mouthy British girl,” he let out a nasty laugh as he patted Caspian’s shoulder. Caspian clenched his jaw, he so wanted to punch Michael in his smarmy face, “make sure you call your mom.”

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Caspian lowered his voice as Michael pushed past them.

She nodded but she looked angry, angrier than Caspian had ever seen here, “what an arsehole. How do you know him?” she gritted her teeth as she glared at Michael’s retreating back.

“Family friend unfortunately, I have to put up with him,” Caspian muttered, distracted when his phone vibrated in his pocket, he sighed in frustration when she saw it was a text from his mum. What the hell was she doing up at this time? Did she have eyes everywhere or something?

‘Just because you haven’t been in touch with me sweetie, doesn’t mean you can get out of the wedding at the end of November, I hope you haven’t forgotten. Evelyn says that she hasn’t heard from you in a while, sort it out, Caspian x’

Caspian scowled as he angrily shoved his phone back into his pocket, talking to Evelyn hadn’t been a part of the deal. Not yet anyway.

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@smiithys @elayneblack @amelie-black @generalblizzarddreamer @blackbirddaredevil23 @whiskeywinter89 @graciehams

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himboarcher · 4 years

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reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

#negativity cw #i guess #anyway this is not meant to say that you cannot enjoy grad.#but i'm tired of folks on this website acting like there aren't genuine problems with it #and saying that people just dislike it bc they hate travis etc etc #taz graduation #i genuinely don't expect anyone to read this bc it's so long #but here ya go.#long post

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years

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10.16: a certain doom

spoilers (both general and caryl) under the cut:

the episode iiiiiissss not super worth the six month wait (like in general, not vis a vis caryl)

it’s marginally more exciting than the penultimate episode

marginally

i think the problem is they utilized time poorly, so the attack on hilltop was Amazing, but then they accidentally forgot to make the end of the war suspenseful or interesting lol

that being said, it had its moments, so let’s break it down, shall we?

first off, caryl have a brief scene in the beginning in the stairwell where daryl is telling carol that michonne left, and he’s like “everybody leaves and then i never see them again :( “ and carol is like “...i haven’t left” and daryl goes “-sure jan-” and leaves carol looking like a hurt puppy bc she thinks he still hasn’t forgiven her/never really will, more on that later

lydia and carol have a scene where lydia is like:

and carol was like “that’s cuz you should hate me and shouldn’t try and look to me for advice, go find your own way in life” and lydia says “k i’m not asking you to be my mom, i’m asking if we can be bros, but w/e, i’m sure this conversation isn’t foreshadowing to an event that will happen later”

more on that later

princess & crew broke their bikes so they were running late to the rendezvous, and eugene was about to give up, but zeke gave an empowering speech about Never Giving Up (which is kinda weird coming from a dude with cancer whose wife left him and whose son got murdered, but w/e, you get on with your optimistic self, zeke) and convinced him to carry on, more on that later

(here’s an exclusive sneak peek at the scene tho:)

there’s a two hour long scene of our main peeps walking through the giant horde covered in guts, which would be more interesting if they didn’t do that all the time

beatrice got eaten which would have been more of a bummer if i remembered who beatrice was

it did get lydia involved in the fight tho, so that’s something

side note: negan gave lydia alpha’s mask as if it was supposed to be symbolic or something, instead of incredibly traumatizing to this little girl whose abusive mother just got her head chopped off, like couldn’t she have just put guts on like the other people? ok, my dude, way to be a surrogate father figure ig

while carol is still stuck in the horde daryl asks where carol is, which has been the majority of his lines this season

they try to lead the horde away by blasting talking heads, which is a little on the nose but entertaining nonetheless, but then carol had to go and say “protect the horses,” which is a guarantee that the horses will get eaten, bc it’s twd, so whomp whomp, they lose their apparently only plan for leading the horde away

(how have they not learned better by now?)

(better question: how are there any horses left??)

daryl has an unintentionally funny line where he’s like, “k so this is a super shitty idea, and i am aware of that, but let’s just go fucking kill all of the whisperers”

lydia then volunteers to go throw herself off a cliff to get rid of the horde, and daryl brushes her off, more on that later

anyway they go and just. kill all the whisperers ig? including beta? whose death took like two seconds and involved a brief flashback montage and was incredibly anticlimactic for how fucking badass he was (negan draws him away, daryl stabs him the eyes, which was kinda cool, and then he goes and stands in the middle of the horde and smiles wistfully while he’s eaten alive, like a normal person would do)

up at headquarters gabriel is about to get murdered by whisperers, but then maggie and her masked friend somehow make it past the entire horde and up the stairs in time to save him

sure

cut to lydia leading the entire horde to the cliff, but then carol jumps in and tells her to go and that she’ll do it, and is about to go for a fun tumble, BUT THEN lydia pulls her away and they have a brief argument about it

their whole plotline this episode is very:

anyway

what follows is what’s meant to be a heartwarming scene between the two of them where they put aside all their baggage and hug each other and realize they’re stronger together than at odds, and objectively it’s a good scene, but i couldn’t stop laughing bc they kept showing the walkers falling off the cliff and it looked SO STUPID, it was hilarious

they just. literally kept just stepping off the cliff and falling like bricks askdfljs

and then lydia went and threw alpha’s mask off the cliff and that Did Not make it less funny

idk, i’m probably just a bad person, but it was super fucking funny, anyway

maggie reunited with judith, which was actually very sweet, esp when you remember that she delivered her (in the most traumatic way possible)

the caryl scene was nice. i had to watch it a couple times before i decided how nice, bc like everything else in the episode it felt kind of rushed, but essentially carol and lydia return, and daryl is standing in the exact position he was standing in “no sanctuary”, bc apparently that’s how he leans on trees, and carol approaches him super warily, and they both stare at each other, and carol asks him if he’s good, and he is visibly trying not to cry when he goes “yeah. it’s over. right?” and she says yes, and he asks her if she got what she wanted, and she says no, and he tells her she still has him, and she’s like “yeah?” while crying, bc, per earlier interaction, she was p sure she was never gonna get him back entirely, and he says yeah, and then they hug, and carol makes a little sob noise, and daryl buries his face in her shoulder and is teary, too, and then daryl brings up new mexico, and carol says “maybe someday” and daryl deffo looks disappointed but agrees, and then carol has her “we still have things to do, i’m clearly saying this as a set up for dramatic scenes that are about to follow” line

cue dramatic things following

connie is alive (we been knew), but is banged tf up, and runs into virgil. or more like collapses on the ground and virgil finds her and they stare blankly at each other until connie passes out

and then we jump back to princess & crew, who are sitting there bummed out bc stephanie isn’t there, and eugene is like, “bc of zeke’s wise words, i am Not Giving Up, we set out to find and recruit people (did they? i literally don’t remember) and so that’s what we’ll do!”

and it’s a Big Moment of Solidarity and Strength

for all of five seconds, bc they are then accosted by stormtroopers, who presumably work for commonwealth. whether or not commonwealth is building a death star is unclear at this time, but i suppose we’ll find out soon

cue end credits!

so overall: the episode occurred. it wasn’t like, devastatingly disappointing, in that the penultimate episode didn’t really set me up for any sort of big anticipation, and also i had spoilers ahead of time. i wish there had been more time for things like beta’s death to be played out properly, but i wonder also if they were limited on what they could do bc of pandemic shit and trying to get it edited as quickly as possible

as it stands, even tho the whisperers are my favorite twd villains, i’m glad they didn’t do what they did with the saviors and have it drag on for ten million years for no reason

the bottle episodes should be interesting, and prob will lead us into commonwealth, which, again, not sure on the status of the death star, but i’m excited to see what happens regardless

on the caryl front i’m about where i was before, which is fully anticipating canon coming, and my guess is the season will really heavily set up their departure, which means we will have many more scenes to come

the end

as usual, stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20 (i still have three months left, i’m not giving up yet, zeke wouldn’t want me to),

-diz

#caryl #caryl spoilers #twd #twd s10 spoilers #dunlap tp

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1kook · 4 years

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a question: if u could come up with the craziest fanfic idea that could be used as a script for a telenovela.. what would the story be (can include bangtan or not JUST GO CRAZY 😎 GO WILD! AAAAAA 🤩)

witness the power of me FREESTYLING I threw jk’s name in there bc force of habit lol

It’s a poor New Yorker friend group au where they both live in shitty situations and jk is about to lose his already shitty apartment n oc is like i care abt u very much I don’t want that for u n then one day jk pulls a Forrest Gump n is like I’m gonna marathon across the fucking country n coincidentally there is a marathon group that is currently passing thru the city so he goes n joins and the last oc sees of him is him waving goodbye like a sweetheart then boom flash forward like 9 months and no one has seen him or heard anything from him so everyone is like he is presumably dead BUT THEN ONE DAY they (group of friends + the local goodwill who love him v much for some reason) get word that the marathon group is coming back around so everyone is like YAYAYA HE COMING BACK so they all congregate in some random local auditorium where the marathoners r greeting their loved ones or whatever n they make him welcome home posters and shit except when they all return jk is nowhere in sight so everyone is heartbroken thinking he might’ve actually died or smthng or disappeared then BOOM he show up in sexy ceo outfit with MONEY and PROFESSIONALIsm and everyone is like WHO TFFF ISS THATTTTTT and oc doesn’t recognize him bc he is all cleaned up and too rich for her broke ass, so she panics n makes a run for it and he’s like “wtf??? But we were kinda in love before I left???”And she’s like I WAS IN LOVE WITH THE OLD U!!!! And he’s like I AM THE OLD ME and she’s like no. so then he tries to chase after her but she disappears and their friend group is like omg wtf and even tho they’re skeptical of him too he wins them over with money n kindness and everyone loves him except her until one day he crosses paths with her a few weeks later and he’s like pls listen to my story.... and they finally talk and he’s like “basically I am rich now bc some businessman took me under his wing blah blah I was only in the marathon for like 5 days lol but why were u scared of me :(“ n she is in tears and “all I see is money.... but not ur heart </3” and he’s like YOU HAVE MY HEART!!! and then they live happily ever after

#ur welcome #asks

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years

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I would like to call shenanigans about the complaints of Phineas being "out-of-character" in the specials and movies. He's a kid! And human! It makes his character more interesting and three-dimensional! He's allowed to be sad or mad when he's out of his comfort zone! I mean, everyone else is allowed to have a wide range of emotions, and it makes it all the more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I’m about to get real salty for a second (not at the show tho I’m getting salty at people who get salty at the show) so here’s a cut

Nothing annoys me more than people who think Phineas had no reason to get upset in at2d. Literally one of the last things 2D Doof said to him before Perry revealed that he was a secret agent was, and I quote, “You really think that he’s your pet, don’t you? WRONG! He’s using you! He’s just your cover!” Of course he was going to internalize that!

And that’s not just speculation, either. As soon as they get a moment to talk without the constant fear of, you know, getting arrested by an evil dictator’s robots, Phineas straight up asks him, “Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover for you? Were you ever really our pet, or part of our family?” AND THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BREAK MY HEART BY FOLLOWING THAT UP WITH “Well, apparently not, because you didn’t trust us enough to tell us!” Like? 2D Doof’s words overshadowed the entire reveal. Of course that was going to impact how Phineas reacted to it, and it blows my mind that people think he should have just accepted it with a smile like nothing happened.

And that’s not even getting into the fact that Perry got them into that mess in the first place. I don’t even think I can say it better than Phineas so I’m gonna use another quote from the movie because I am apparently writing an actual angry essay right now with evidence from the text movie lmao. When they’re still at DEI and Heinz clarifies that he’s an evil scientist, Phineas turns on Perry and says, “You just sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?” (With, of course, the caveat that yes, Perry peed on the couch, but “That wasn’t enough!”)

~~ taking a brief break from angry ranting in the middle of the night to add that I definitely don’t think Perry was in the wrong here. I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about at2d because a) I’ve seen it so many times and practically have it memorized (thus why I threw in all these quotes off the top of my head lol) and b) I’m writing a fic where Perry can talk (it’s Bitch Shut The Fuck Up on Wattpad and AO3 if anyone’s in the mood for sassy, swearing Perry) and I’m going to start incorporating episodes once summer starts in the fic so I lowkey spent most of my nights in bed thinking about what Perry’s going to say and how it would change things if he could explain himself and would he even try to or would he let the kids think he betrayed them if he thought it would keep them safe so anyways I have a lot of feelings but tl:dr Phineas has ever reason to be upset and I don’t blame him and neither should you ~~

And then, of course, there’s the Marvel crossover and, like, he was right? He was 100% right? Candace was too star struck to help, and it was too important for them to take any risks. And you make a really good point with your comment about being out of his comfort zone. I don’t think there’s ever a time that Phineas is more out of his league than in the Marvel crossover. He really is just a kid, and he only got roped into this because he just happened to put his space station in the wrong place at the wrong time and the Avengers made the wrong assumptions. The fate of the entire world depended on them, and when Candace repeatedly messed things up, Phineas had every right to be upset -- and the fact that he was undoubtedly really stressed out because, again, the fate of the entire world, only gives him more of a reason to snap. It’s not out of character; his character had just never dealt with anything like that before.

I mean, of course, there’s Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, which I think was a more mild example of Phineas getting angry, but it’s similar enough to the Marvel crossover that I feel like I need to bring it up, if only to point out the differences. In the Marvel crossover, the world was actively being threatened by a group of actual supervillains. In PnF Save Summer, technically LOVEMUFFIN is also threatening the safety of the world by trying to plunge it into an eternal ice age, but Phineas doesn’t know that which is half the fun of the episode. Like, they don’t know why they can’t move the planet back into place, just like LOVEMUFFIN doesn’t know why they can’t move it further away.

That’s not really the point here, though; that’s just me having unnecessary opinions on everything. I don’t really view this one as Phineas snapping, but Buford does make that joke about how it must be a special episode because Phineas is yelling at his sister again so I’m guessing there are probably people who think it’s ooc which means naturally I gotta bring it up (and, of course, I wanted to reference the meta joke because I love it).

Phineas built those thrusters. He knows how they work better than probably anyone but Ferb. When Candace says she’s going to overwork them, of course Phineas is going to tell her not to, and he’s going to be urgent about it, but he doesn’t yell. And when Candace accidentally ruins the thrusters, Phineas doesn’t yell at her then, either; he just tells her how to fix it (and, when she’s too scared to go into the attic, his hologram is there to cheer her on). It’s just? So? Wholesome? And “wholesome” is basically Phineas’s entire character, so that fits really well.

And the only other one I can think of off the top of my head is Summer Belongs To You (and it’s entirely possible he’s supposedly “out of character’ in other specials too but it’s 11:20 at night and my brain is fried lmao). “Get on the trike!” is literally one the most iconic lines in the show. Even Dan said it’s one of his favorites because it wasn’t necessarily a funny line, it was funny because it was Phineas saying it, and the fact that so many people remembered it was that it seemed so out-of-place coming from Phineas, which meant they had developed the character well (and if anyone happens to have the video -- I think it might have been an old tiktok but there have been way too many for me to look through -- hmu bc it was such a pure moment). But tbh even though the yelling was “out of character” in the sense that it made for a good joke, I don’t think his actions were out of character at all? Phineas sets crazy goals all the time, and he always achieves them. They’d put so much work into it so far, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste when the end game was right there. He was exhausted, presumably both physically and mentally (I mean, we didn’t see him sleep at all, you know?) and he wanted to get home and he wanted to accomplish his goal and he wanted to do it as a family (because 🎵 friends are also family 🎵) and he wasn’t going to let Candace ruin that, which I personally think is adorable because technically Candace was never even part of the bet and she didn’t have to make it home with them for them to win so Phineas easily could have ditched her and made her find her own way home but he wanted her to see it through with them and I just have a lot of feelings 😭

OKAY last paragraph because I know no one really cares and it’s getting late and I have an 8:30 class tomorrow and should probably be in bed by now. I also like the point you made about how that makes it more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self. I don’t know if anyone considers it out of character given that it’s really supposed to be a powerful moment purely because it’s so out of the ordinary (although I guess I could say the same for all these scenes) but god, when Phineas breaks down on the island in Summer Belongs To You, it’s such a testament to his character because he had managed to push through so much because he was determined to get home but it also proves that he does have a breaking point. I mean, we see it in all the other scenes, too, but those are directed at people. This is purely situational, which I think hits harder and it’s why that was the first one I thought of when you mentioned pushing through. All these scenes are a testament to his character, really, and basically the moral of the story is that I completely agree with you, Phineas deserves to have his character explored as much as Candace and Heinz have theirs explored, and that I clearly have way too many opinions and should really learn to tone it down fjksdhfjka

#pnf #phineas flynn #across the 2nd dimension #at2d #phineas and ferb: mission marvel #mission marvel #marvel crossover #phineas and ferb save summer #pnf save summer #summer belongs to you #all these tags and i still know that it won't show up if i ever try to find it lmao #look i have an ask

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shadow--writer · 3 years

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Tell me What you Really Feel, Do you Like me? Just say you do

sladkjeikdsjfhuisdkf. After four fucking rewrites I did it. Song title bc I have been wanting to use it since I’ve heard it. But look I wrote something XD

Maeve x Lucas. You give me heart palpitations. 4.9k (I’d say I’m surprised but we all know these things run off with me)

TW: none!

@dela-png

The rain was softer now, but coming down like a god weeping. Visibility was a bit low with the sun setting, and the clouds blocked out most of the colours from the sunset. She could hear the ocean waves rise and meet the sand from farther east.

It was going to be a long walk home.

Her head was still buzzing slightly from spending time with him, the flour in her hair slowly being washed out as she lowered her coat. There was going to be no saving her hair, the rain would make quick work of whatever layers she had on.

Goddess she hoped she wouldn’t catch a cold. That would be miserable.

“Maeve! Wait!”

She paused, turning around to listen to the voice. She could still see his home.

And him now.

“Lucas?” she asked, moving closer to him. He cradled something in his hands, pants hastily shoved into his boots.

He was in a rush to catch her before she left.

“Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Did Jolie get hurt?” she asked, getting slightly worried.

He let out a breath, smiling a little. “No! No. Not hurt. Just...wanted to give you something before you left.”

“Give me something? Lucas I’m okay you don’t need to give me anything!” She didn’t deserve anything from him anyway. She was just...still her.

He uncovered the thing sitting in his palms. “No...I want you to have this. It...reminds me of you. Meant to give it to you earlier but I was having...fun.”

Her eyes flickered down to what sat in his hands.

It was a small dog. Different from the one she broke. Tiny, with floppy ears and sitting up with it’s paws raised up like it was trying to balance.

“A small dog reminds you of me?”

“Bark,” he whispered with a tiny smile. “I found it after you...left. I was so angry.” She wilted a little. He had every right to be angry with her. Of course he did! But hearing him say it stung. “I know...you had your reasons. Whatever they might be but...I don’t know why I got it. Maybe because it reminded me of you. Or maybe if I got rid of it or something I’d hopefully...get over you.”

Her words were nervous. “I’m sensing a but.”

He smiled a little. “But. Getting over you, what happened, all of it, never happened. Really it all got worse.” His face reddened again. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “S-Sorry. Sounds kind of stupid. But I just wanted you to have this. Reminded me of you, is all.”

She stepped closer, the sound of her heel the only sound accompanying the rainfall. “You made it?”

“U-Um no! I, uh, bought it.”

She bit her lower lip, smiling a little. They were getting soaked. She peeked up at him through her lashes, his hair fell in ringlets around his face. She wanted to push them back. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to.”

His smile was shy as she picked up the dog. “But a small dog?”

“Look, you're short.”

“Hey.”

“Well...way shorter than I thought you were,” he admitted. “Without your heels you don’t even come up to my shoulders.”

“...I don’t even come up to your shoulder in heels.”

He snorted. “True.”

An awkward silence filled the air. So that was wonderful.

“I um. Should go home! Now. Before the rain gets worse and all that,” she said, turning away from him. She clutched the small dog close to her chest.

“Maeve um...wait,” he whispered, grabbing her wrist gently. She stopped moving forward, bringing her foot back to standstill. Her heart raced, his touch making everything sharpen, like the world got a bit more colourful and bright. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?” she asked softly, turning around, wrist shifting in his grasp.

“I...I don’t want to just be friends,” he blurted out. “I...presumed a little about what you wanted. And I’m sorry. You wouldn’t...I saw things that weren’t there! I just...thought maybe it would be…”

“Different?”

His eyes snapped up to meet hers. She wriggled her arm out of his hand, carefully lacing their fingers together. “You’re starting to sound like me,” she joked gently. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing.”

“I don’t want to be friends.”

A small knife twisted through her gut. Yeah. She deserved this. The dog was a goodbye gift. He didn’t want to be around her as much as she wanted to be around him. It was okay. It was okay. It was...okay (no it wasn’t.) “What?”

He breathed in, staring at their interlocked hands. “I don’t want to be friends.” Her spirits fell a little. A lot. The softness of his voice and his words stung.

He continued on. “Because I want to kiss you.” His eyes slowly trailed up her arm, not wanting to meet hers. “I’ve...wanted to kiss you. From the picnic. When you kissed my cheek I...panicked. I...well, I tried to kiss you anyway. But I must’ve read it wrong. I know I read it wrong since you...you pulled.” His voice cracked. “You pulled away. I-I’m sorry.”

She bit her cheek, squeezing his hand once. “You...didn’t read anything wrong,” she whispered, shifting closer to him. The rain was a biting cold against her skin, flattening her hair. “I wanted...to kiss you too. But I.” She chewed on her lower lip, ripping at the skin there. “I’m scared.”

He finally met her eyes. “Why?”

She breathed in, gathering her wits a little. The smell of rain helped settle her stomach. “Both of you and what I want for myself. I don’t...want to get hurt again. It’s selfish, I know.”

“There’s nothing selfish about wanting to protect yourself.”

“But at the expense of your feelings?”

His eyes darted away from hers again, his cheeks pinkening. “W-Well…” his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. She found it endearing. “How...do you feel now?”

She pursed her lips, shifting closer and rising up to her tiptoes. “I want you to kiss me. If you...if that’s what you really want. Do...do you? Want that, I mean. I’d understand if you don’t feel that way anymore! I um...mucked things up. As always.”

His head darted over to look at her, she was still holding his hand, a little space between them.

His voice was so soft. Soft and brittle, like a stray breeze would snap it. “I...I do. I do want to kiss you.”

She let out a tiny breathy breath. Her nerves slowly exhaled with the air. The rain tasted sweet as she looked back up at him.

He wanted her.

Was that okay?

It had to be.

It was selfish. She was selfish. But it’s what she wanted.

“Then kiss me.”

He stared at her for a moment, making her nervous.

“Lu...cas?” she asked, teetering a little. His eyes flickered down to her lips.

His name hung in the air for a heartbeat. Then another.

He bent closer and brushed his lips against hers softly. It was little more than a flutter of a butterfly’s wing, a gentle press as she teetered on her toes. He brought their hands up, lightly kissing her knuckles with nervous eyes.

But his kiss did its job and she leaned in for another.

He let out a tiny startled noise as she held onto him. The noise faded into a little sigh as he pulled her close.

It spiraled out of control as he gathered the material of her dress in his hands, pressing her so close it left her deliciously breathless.

She reached up to grasp the fabric of his shirt, thoroughly soaked by the downpour. She bunched the fabric in her fists, standing up on her tiptoes trying to get him closer.

The rain tasted sweeter off his lips anyways.

He let go of her dress, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. Kissing the corner of her mouth, her cheek, the tip of her nose, he grinned. He spun them around, making her laugh, kicking her legs and wrapping her arms around his neck.

He nuzzled her neck, breathing softly against her skin.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“You...have nothing to be sorry for,” she breathed, watching him shift to look at her. She toyed with the ends of his hair, tangling and untangling her hands through the locks. She rested her forehead against his, breathing him in for a moment. He played with the laces on the back of her dress as he stared at her.

“What if this...is a dream? And if it isn’t...do I deserve this?” he asked as she tugged lightly on his hair. The water from the touch ran down her fingers.

She kissed the tip of his nose, closing her eyes. “It’s not about deserving.” Amani was right. Of course she was right. Sure it was a bit cheesy, but it sounded right.

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open as she smiled at him. “It’s about wanting. So tell me, do you want this? Do you...want me?”

His kiss was desperate, pleading. Like he could fit everything he felt into the simple touch, arms shaking as he held her closer. She buried her hands in his hair, hoping she was conveying what she felt back.

Maybe it was okay to be selfish.

Just this once.

When she pulled away, she flicked the tip of his nose. He wrinkled it at the touch, making her giggle with a tiny smile. “Don’t sound like me. It doesn’t go well.”

He laughed, nipping at her lower lip. “It really doesn’t.”

“Thank you though. For...the dog. It’s adorable.”

“You’re...welcome.”

“I’ll be sure to get you something in return.”

He laughed, tapping his fingers on her back. It seemed like a tic. “You don’t have to.”

“Oh but I must! Where I come from we have gift wars. And besides, now that you’ve kissed me it’ll be even harder to get rid of me now.”

He pecked her cheek, squishing it with the force making her giggle. “Good thing I don’t want you to go.” He rubbed his nose against hers, his grin infectious. “Oh, and I like you. Romantically. If that wasn’t obvious.”

She snorted, then grinned back at him. She couldn’t really fight the grin, and it made her whole face scrunch up. Like she couldn’t contain how happy she was in one look. She threw her head back, opening her eyes to stare up at the swirling clouds. Water ran down her cheeks as she looked back at him.

He stared at her in wonder, brushing her hair away from her lip. He touched her cheek with his knuckles, wiping the rain away. “You’re glowing.”

Her smile grew shy as she bit her lower lip, heat rising to her face and ears. “Yeah. I um...do that when I’m...happy.” She fiddled with the ends of his hair, reaching up to slick his hair back again.

“You’re...beautiful,” he breathed.

She felt her face redden, hiding behind her hair.

He let out a shuddering breath. “A-And I don’t want you to go. Is...that selfish of me?”

She gnawed on her lower lip, still hiding behind her hair. She felt dizzy. Tipsy. Buzzing.

Alive.

For the first time in a long while she allowed herself to feel alive.

He tucked her hair behind her ear, chipping away at the curtain she had put between them.

Chipping away at the walls she put up.

“No,” she whispered, reaching out to hold his face in her hands. The rain flattened his curls into the slicked back style she had set it in. She brushed the water away from his eyes. Now with another grin climbing onto her face, the butterflies filled her with that delicious electric feeling. “It’s decidedly not selfish.”

His smile was a slow climb across his face, lighting up his eyes. She liked his smile. All of his smiles. “And who ruled that?”

She kissed him again, running her hands through his now soaked hair. “Me. And we all know my decisions are true and final.”

“Not all of them I hope.”

“H-Huh?”

“I want to see you again. So please don’t...don’t leave.”

She looked away from him, letting out a tiny breath. Her bangs fell into her eyes. “I’m...I’m so sorry Lucas.”

“And why are you sorry?”

“I don’t...want to hurt you.”

He kissed her cheek again, blowing softly to make her smile. She stamped the smile down. “You won’t.”

She turned her head to argue. “But I will! I’m...I’m dangerous! I hurt everyone I touch. I...ruin everything.”

He kissed the corner of her mouth. “And you think I’m not dangerous?”

“But-”

“Maeve. You don’t scare me. Whatever threats you’re gonna make to keep me away won’t. Not...again.”

“I’m not...a good person Lucas. I’m not good like you, so why...why do you…?”

“Like you? Thumbelina, you make it sound like I’m a saint. I’m...probably a worse person than you.”

“I doubt it.”

He sighed, it sounded heavy. Like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She wondered if he’d let her help carry it.

“No I definitely am. And if you said I could want this.” His eyes snapped up to hers, holding her gaze. “Then so can you. I like you because you’re...nice to be around. Electric. I feel funny around you. I thought I was sick at first.”

Lovesick.

She flinched at the thought. No. Not lovesick. He didn’t love her.

Well. Maybe he did.

But she knew neither of them were ready to admit it. And that was okay.

“I like you too,” she whispered, resting her forehead against his. “Romantically.”

Standing out here in the rain, they were going to get sick. She didn’t mind, as long as she was with him.

...oh great she was turning into a sap like her dad.

“Please don’t go,” he whispered back.

She kissed him again, he tasted sweet. Like sugar. And rain. He was starting to smell like a wet dog though. She...didn’t mind. “I won’t.”

“Promise?”

She bit her lip once, before letting her smile climb back onto her face. “Promise. But.” Oh no puppy dog eyes. “I should get home.” She smoothed his hair back with her hands, playing with the curl over his eyes. “We’ll get sick standing out here.”

“Spend the night with me?” he blurted out, making her eyes widen. She let out a tiny squeak, his face reddened. “S-Sorry! T-Too soon.”

“You’d...want to spend the evening with me?”

“It um...gets lonely with only Jolie around,” he murmured, getting redder by the second. “Amani swings by but she’s um...not always around.”

She was smiling so much her face hurt, this one being flustered and almost ecstatic. “Well if you’re okay with it, I’d be happy to spend the night.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Promised I wouldn’t leave. But you can put me down. I have two legs that are decidedly, not broken.”

“Well I’m going to hold you to your promise. And those heels look like they hurt.”

“Oh no they’re broken in and quite comfortable-”

He kissed her cheeks and all over her face to get her to shut up. She snorted as he shifted to princess carry her. “They look painful.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly. “Maybe a little.”

She wrung her hair out, hunched over his bathtub. Her dress dripped onto the tile, stuck to her skin.

He coughed from his place in the doorway.

“Enter!” she sang, making him chuckle.

“I brought you something to wear. Can’t have you catching a cold. And it’s one of my shirts so...sorry if it’s a bit big.”

“I don’t mind. Though a bit would be an understatement.” She looked over her shoulder, offering him a lopsided smile. “But thank you for letting me borrow it.”

His eyes widened a little and smiled sheepishly. “It’s um...no problem! Sorry I kept you out in the rain as long as I did. That conversation would’ve been better inside where it’s dry.”

She winked, sticking her tongue out. “If I get sick I’m blaming you then.”

He laughed. “At least it washed the flour from your hair.”

“Low blow mister, low blow.”

He smiled and it fell into a more comfortable silence. He kept his gaze on the wet fabric gathered at her knees.

“Hey...do you mind me asking something? Sorry if it’s out of...nowhere. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

She hummed a little, turning back around to keep wringing out her hair. “Ask away.”

“Do you just wear the same dress every day? I only see you in this one. It’s pretty but um...”

She laughed, cutting him off. “No, I don’t wear the same dress. I bought a lot of the same fabric by accident and I didn't want it to go to waste so I made the same dress many times over and decided to wear it as a uniform of sorts. Same pattern but when I got bored I embroidered little things onto each dress.”

“Oh? What stuff did you embroider?”

“S-Stars mostly. Moons sometimes. I do flowers as well. Just um...little things.”

“Can...I see?"

“Sure! I need help getting this off anyways. The laces stick and are always a pain when they get wet.”

“I-I can help with that!” She could hear him shuffle closer, her back stiffening a little as he touched her.

“T-Thank you darling.”

He let out a tiny whine at the nickname. “S-Sorry just um…”

“If it makes you uncomfortable I won’t say it.”

He traced the stars she sewed into the back of her dress, making her twitch. “No no, I like it. A lot. But I just uh didn’t expect it so um…”

“You’re blushing.”

“...maybe.”

She smiled, brushing her hands down the length of her hair, treasuring the magic she felt. He started unlacing her dress, pushing it off a little to kiss her shoulders. She let out a squeak, arching her back. “The stars are lovely,” he whispered. “You’re very talented.” His breath was warm against her skin, his teeth grazing her shoulders.

Tease.

“C-Comes with practice,” she whispered, leaning into his touch. “I can do something similar to one of your shirts if you’d like.” She thought back to the little dogs. The way he’d whine and chuff like one. “Maybe paw prints?”

He froze. “W-Would you? Do that. For me?”

“M-Mhm!”

He smiled, moving over to kiss her cheek. “I’ll leave you to get changed, but I’ll hold you to that.”

She shifted, pressing a chaste kiss to his lower lip. “I’ll even do it for free.”

He snorted, getting to his feet. “Lucky me.”

She grinned to herself, taking a moment to push the wet dress the rest of the way off her shoulders and tugging on the shirt he rested by the sink. It fell below her knees. She had to keep pulling it up to keep it from falling off her shoulders.

But it smelled like him.

She rested the dress over the rim of the tub, shuffling out of the bathroom with a little hum.

He was walking out of his room, rubbing the back of his neck with a yawn. She could hear Jolie’s meows from inside the room.

When he caught sight of her his face darkened. It was the darkest she’d ever seen him blush. He covered his mouth with his hand, turning his face away from her. She tilted her head, confused.

Then she remembered she was in his shirt and not wearing pants. Also glowing. Still.

She giggled, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. “Keep blushing like that and you might pass out.”

He muttered something in response, moving into the bathroom to put his stuff next to hers. She watched him, amused.

Sighing as he walked out of the bathroom, he rubbed the back of his neck. “So. You’re staying the night.” She was indeed. “I um. Only have one bed.”

Fiddling with the hem of his shirt, she blew her hair out of her face. “I can sleep on the couch if you like.”

He blinked at her. “But that would make me a rude host!”

She moved closer to him, a tiny smug grin creeping onto her face “...mmm that sounds like a ploy to get me into bed with you,” she teased, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him softly and nip at his lower lip.

He hummed, nipping back. “Well when you put it that way.”

“There was only one bed,” she sang, pulling away from him but taking his hand as she danced around. She lifted his arm up to duck under it, spinning so he’d hold her close. She grinned up at him. “What shall our two protagonists do on this dark, cold and stormy night?”

He laughed, untangling her and spinning her around gently. “Hmmm…cuddle for warmth?” he joked.

She giggled, swaying a little. “Oooh I like the sound of that. Giving up a little space in your bed for little ol’ me?”

“I think I’m willing to make that sacrifice.” She kissed his chin, making him snort.

She twirled the curl above his eye around her finger with a little hum. “What say we get some sleep and hope the rains gone in the morning?”

He kissed her palm, smiling a little. “Sounds okay to me.”

Still humming and holding his hand he led her into his room, calling out for Jolie and blowing out the candles along the way.

She let go of his hand and plopped herself on the edge of his bed, scooting back enough to be able to swing her legs.

Swinging her legs, she smiled. “Giant.”

He snorted, moving closer to her. He caged her legs between his, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Thumbelina.”

She hummed a little, pushing his hair back from his face, thumbs messing with the piercing under his lower lip as he untangled some of her curls.

“I really hope I’m not dreaming right now,” she blurted out. “I will fight a god if I am.”

He snorted, kissing her forehead. “Well it would also suck for me since I’m dreaming the same thing. By the way you smell too real for this to be a dream.”

She laughed, tugging a little on his hair. His hair was so soft. She liked running her hands through it.

He shifted to lay on the bed, playing with her hair still.

With a dramatic sigh, she flopped on her back, smacking his nose with her hand. He yelped, making her giggle. With a small huff, he rolled over on top of her. She let out a tiny squawk at the weight.

“Get off of me you’re heavy, ma mhuirnín!”

“Oh? What does that mean? Another insult?” he teased, prodding at her sides.

She scowled, swatting his hands away. “Oh don’t start that again. You and your whole; ‘woe is me! I have been insulted in another language even though the words sound nothing like an insult and she was using a different tone! I shall storm off in a heated rage and fall onto my fainting couch with the vapors!’” She held the back of her hand to her forehead in a swoon.

He stuck his tongue out at her. “I don’t sound like that!”

“I shall sleep for ten days and when I wake I shall be miserable and a bore about the rain once more!” she continued on, giggling so hard she shook.

He squished her face in his hands with a mock glower. “Hey!”

She was laughing so hard he had to fight his smile. “Then I shall begin the period of brooding!”

“I do not brood!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Not!”

“Yes you do!”

He wrinkled his nose at her. “Hmph I regret my decision in letting you share my bed.”

She smiled, rubbing her nose against his, smoothing out the wrinkles with her thumbs. “No you don’t. You just love me.”

“Can call my appreciation of you into question at this point. I do not brood.”

She kissed him, wrapped her arms around his neck. She giggled as he shifted forward, curling her legs around his waist. “Oh yes you do.”

He let out another grunt low in his throat. “Do not.” Even with how crabby he was playing off to be, he moved her arms away from his neck and interlocked their hands above her head.

“Yes you do,” she whispered with a large smile.

He glowered. “Not.”

“Do.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Oh you like me.”

He sighed, staring down at her. His hair hung around his face, still damp from the rain. Hers was spread out around her head like a halo. She grinned back up at him. Her nose scrunched up with the smile. “You like like me~” she sang.

He let out a dramatic sigh, kissing the tip of her nose. “Yes I do. But I don’t brood.”

She cleared her throat dramatically. “There once was a man named Lucas; He was sweet to kiss but a liar; I'm afraid he won't get a pyre; But I will sing in that choir; For my Lucas is a liar and a cheat; He does brood indeed, he's not very discreet; But through rain or sleet I shall stay with that liar of mine even if he becomes a beet; For he does brood, even if it's bittersweet!”

He blinked. “Did...did you...just make up a poem about me brooding?”

She batted her lashes. “I am a lady of many talents.”

“It even rhymed.”

She bit her lip while smiling. “It did indeed! I am magical and wonderful.”

He snorted, kissing her softly. It was lazy as he scooted them farther up the bed. He let go of her hands as she moved to lay on the pillows.

He settled down on her stomach, resting his chin on his arms. His legs still hung off the bed.

She snorted, playing with his hair. “You really are a Giant.”

He moved off his arm to grab her hand, kissing her palm. “You’re tiny, Thumbelina.”

“Ugh I cannot believe you gave me an ugly nickname.”

His face scrunched up in offense. “Well I thought it was pretty! Isn’t that what matters?”

“What if you say it and someone thinks I’m ugly?” she joked.

“I doubt anyone I know hasn’t seen or heard of you before.”

“You talk about me a lot?”

He looked away from her. The shirt she was wearing bunched up at her thighs.

“Well...sometimes.”

She giggled softly, brushing the corner of his mouth with her thumb. His lips were soft. “C’mon now,” she whispered, tugging on his arm. “I’ll blow the candle out.”

He leaned into her touch, moving off her stomach and up to the pillow beside her.

With a gentle puff, the only light in the room was out. It just left them, the soft pattering of rain, and Jolie meowing.

Lucas softly called the cat up on the bed as she settled under the covers. They were worn but soft and warm.

She could feel him shift beside her, then watched herself be reflected in his eyes.

“By the way, you make my heart flutter and skip a beat.”

She let out a startled snort, pushing his face away from hers. “Ugh don’t be sappy you’re gonna make me feel things!”

He laughed, face squished under her hands. “Oh? Like what?”

She stuck her tongue out. “I don’t wanna be mushy this late at night!”

“Well I do, so too bad.”

“Hmph.”

“Don’t ‘hmph’ me. It’s taken you so long to let us get to this point, let me bask in the feeling I have from this.”

“Heart skipping a beat?”

“Many beats.”

“Mmm those are symptoms of a heart palpitation.”

He flicked her nose, making her squeak. “Don’t kill my high with your doctoring, thank you.”

“Doctoring?!”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he kissed the top of her head. “It’s very endearing but right now I am showering you in affection.”

“This is a cruel and unusual punishment,” she sulked.

“Punishment?”

“You’re the one who deserves affection. Not me.”

“Maeve, that is a stupid thing to think. It’s affection. Whether you deserve it or not is out of the question. I have it to give, and I want to give it to you because it’s how I feel.”

He sounded so...stubborn. Like a bull. He wasn’t going to budge on this one. She turned away from him, twirling her hair around her finger nervously. “S-Sorry.”

He kissed the corner of her mouth. “Don’t apologize. It’s just something I want to do. Okay?”

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her voice a soft murmur. “Okay.”

“Get some sleep now. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Today hadn’t been exhausting in the slightest, but she was coming down from her happy high. That being paired with how warm he was, the sound and smell of the rain coming down, she was...sleepy.

She let out a breath. He did still smell like wet dog. But there was the hint of cinnamon she missed.

He was here with her. Maybe it was real. Maybe it wasn’t. She hoped it was real though.

“Good...night.”

#the arcana #the arcana game #my writing #maeve #lucas #maeve x lucas #maevas #hm feelings gross #I am a simple Shade #kisses in the rain have my whole heart #and I don't take criticism

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waterboysokka · 4 years

Text

What You Look Like; ATLA oneshot

Summary: It was easier when Zuko never had to explain why he had his scar. It was easier whenever everyone took to the common theme to never ask. It's harder to avoid a blind girl who doesn't even know it's there. (Three weeks post-canon)

Word count: 3,882

Note: Hii! Welcome to the first ATLA fic related thing I’ve posted on here so far :) This is a one shot that basically is deep 5am talks with Zuko and Toph. I dunno, I love their friendship and I felt like it had the potential to be so deep and intellectual. Soooo, that’s what this is! It’s basically Toph asking about Zuko’s scar (I saw a fic rec list of this prompt somewhere but now I can’t find it?? I would link it if I could!) Anyways, I listened to disney lullaby songs while writing this bc it just?? fit? Idk, it’s soft and kinda sad... But besides all of that, I hope you guys like it!! It’ll also be up on my AO3, which is linked in my bio!

Toph groaned as she rolled over once more in the bed that she could tell was just all-too big for her. She hadn’t asked for a separate room, she actually didn’t mind sleeping with the rest of the group, but Zuko's maids had insisted on each of them getting their own room since there were so many to go around.

It had been only three weeks since the defeat of Ozai and Zuko’s overtaken the role of Fire Lord. She continued to forget that he wasn’t just a prince anymore, he now had responsibilities- bigger than any of them had realized.

So when he had asked them to stay with him until things got in order, none of them were opposed. Maybe it was because they weren't quite ready to adjust to their new life in totality yet, or maybe they were fearful about losing their friend to the immense amount of stress that he had just been put under.

Whichever it was, it didn’t matter, because they were still here as a team for Zuko.

But all of that didn’t change that the bed that she was put in was incredibly uncomfy for it to be owned by royalty. She felt like she was drowning in sheets and slowly getting devoured by the mattress itself.

Frustrated, Toph groaned and pushed herself out of bed. She needed tea. After being here for a couple of weeks, she was finally able to understand the layout of the palace without being attached to Aang or Sokka’s arm, as she used to be. She knew it was thirty-two steps down the hall to the right, then down the stairs, and one hundred and twelve steps to the kitchen- not counting the columns she’d have to dodge.

She hummed softly as she counted in her head the steps confidently, knowing she didn’t miscalculate considering that this was the fifth time she’d done this walk to get tea since they’d arrived.

“Toph?”

The voice startled her- not because she couldn’t sense someone there, but because she didn’t expect anyone to be awake. All the other times she had done this she had been the only one.

“Zuko?” She asked and raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t expect you to be awake.” “I could say the same thing to you,” Zuko replied.

“Well, I’m just down here to get some tea and then I’m leaving,” Toph explained nonchalantly and walked around the bar, feeling her way down the long, cool counter to the tea kettle (which Iroh conveniently pulled back out at night once the maids left for her after she told him about her occurrences). As she got closer to the tea kettle, the counter got increasingly hotter until she jerked her hand back in shock.

“Did you make tea?” She asked Zuko, who she could tell was now sitting at the long table.

“Mhm,” He murmured, and she heard him take a long sip of it.

Toph rolled her eyes, already knowing that Zuko’s tea was nothing in comparison to Iroh’s. Luckily, she had learned from Iroh about the best way to make tea for herself and it sufficed. Zuko’s wouldn’t- it was basically hot leaf water.

“Are you dumping it out?” Zuko asked, perplexed. His voice wasn’t raspy, which was a hint to Toph that he had been awake much longer than she had realized. Had he even gone to sleep?

“I’m not drinking hot leaf water,” Toph answered with a shrug and began the stove up again to make a much better mixture.

It was silent for a while after that while she worked. She could tell that Zuko was still there, just sitting and silently sipping his tea. He was stressed, he was anxious. She deduced that this probably had something to do with the reason why he wasn’t asleep, and she couldn’t blame him.

Even after the hard time she had given Zuko, she still knew that being the Fire Lord wasn’t a breeze even though he liked to surface-level it to everyone. No one believed what he said, not even for a minute. Which was another running contender for their prolonged stay.

The tea kettle began to hiss, and she immediately took it off of the stove, cautious not to wake anyone else up, and poured herself a cup. She got ready to leave when something in the back of her mind tugged at her to sit with Zuko, just for a minute.

So, that’s what she did.

Toph approached the table and felt around the chair sides and pulled it out for herself. She placed the drink on the table in front of her and plopped down into the seat, adjusting herself to where her tea was placed promptly in front of her for convenient drinking.

“I feel weird asking this, but how ya been holding up?” Toph said as she took a sip of her tea, she took a long sip of it, even though it had definitely burnt her tongue because she hadn’t waited long enough for it to cool.

“Good,” Zuko replied. It was a short reply, one that she definitely expected from him.

Silence hit again. She wasn’t very good at opening up to people on her own, let alone having other people do it with her. But she felt like she understood Zuko in a better way than some of the others, and she couldn’t depict why- she hadn’t ever asked about his past or even what his plans were for the future… or even what he looked like.

“I bet it’s hard,” Toph said, “getting thrown into running an entire Nation.”

“Yeah,” Zuko replied with a sigh. “But it’s what I expected. It’s what I was born to do.”

Another hit of silence. Toph blew on her tea to cool it off and heard Zuko do the same.

“How, though?” Toph asked bluntly. It was her only move she knew to continue the conversation. She was curious.

Zuko hadn’t spilled much of his life to anyone except for Aang, and while they were all incredibly close now, it had never seemed to come up about his past- just like it hadn’t ever come up about her’s or Suki’s. They were all too busy fighting and defeating Ozai that they had forgotten that they didn’t know much about each other.

Zuko sighed and she watched his outline run his hand through his hair (she presumed he had hair, unlike Aang, who she’d been notified to be bald).

“What do you mean how? Azula’s younger than me,” Zuko explained. Toph could tell he was bordering defensiveness. She pressed on anyways.

“You wouldn’t have wanted to fight your dad or your sister if there wasn’t a reason,” Toph said. “It just doesn’t add up like that.”

Zuko’s heart rate quickened. He wasn’t speaking. Toph knew this all too well- the attempt to create a lie that threw off the actual answer. He should really have known by now that that wasn’t going to work.

“Don’t lie. I can tell you’re trying to,” Toph bluntly pointed out. She took another sip of her tea and then placed it down in front of her again.

“I was banished. I had to find the Avatar to restore what I thought was my honor. I did that for three years before deciding it wasn’t right and my destiny was to join Aang,” Zuko explained in an overly-simplified, overly-glazed way. Toph rolled her eyes. “I already know that part. I’m talking about before that. I wanna know why you were banished.”

“Why? I thought you were going back to sleep.”

As much as he had worked on letting people in, this unexpected press of information of his past- from Toph of all people- was close to stepping over the line. He didn’t have time for this. He had things to do, orders to get through with, staff and guards and armies to command. He had his job to do once dawn broke.

Toph didn’t answer and took another long sip of her tea.

“I said something I shouldn’t have in a meeting.”

“And?”

“There is no ‘and’. I said something I shouldn’t have, it upset him, and he banished me.”

“Just like that?” Toph raised an eyebrow. This conversation was going nowhere fast, and she knew it. She could bail out now and go and sleep until the sun rose in a few hours before she started asking the big question.

“Mhm.”

She rolled the idea around in her head in the silence and opted against it. This question had nagged at her for a long time, and although it seemed to be like pulling eye teeth, it needed to be asked. She wasn’t sure if she could even go back to sleep anyways.

“What does Aang look like?” She asked. She started simple- one she knew that he could answer in a breeze. She felt his heart rate drop down to a more normal rate and his body relaxed.

“Hmm,” Zuko thought. He didn’t say anything for a minute, as if to gather the best explanation of his friend as possible. As much as it probably shouldn’t have been, it was a lot of pressure to describe one of their closest comrades to her. He hadn’t ever really thought about what Aang looked like- he just knew. He could just see him and know that, well… he was Aang.

“Well, ah… He’s short. Yeah, just a little bit taller than you, actually. He’s bald, obvious- well, maybe not obviously… sorry,” Zuko stuttered. “He has really big blue eyes. Like huge. There’s always like an adventure behind them, too. You can just tell that he’s always looking ahead- looking forward to something. He has his Airbender tattoos that are light blue and they’re, ah… they’re arrows. They start at his forehead and travel round his arms and wrists and stuff… it’s cool. He’s super thin, but I don’t know if you can see that- well, not see, but I didn’t know if that was important, er… maybe not.

He smiles really big, too. His whole face is centered around his smile. Katara told me that when he grew his hair out, it was brown, but I’ve never seen it… he wears lots of oranges and yellows, too. It’s pretty standard Air-Nomad colors.

I can’t really think of anything else… I think… I think that may be all.” Zuko breathed a sigh of relief as he tapered off what seemed to be his one long run-on sentence. He was known to do that when he was uncomfortable, or even under pressure. Hell, sometimes tired, too. These were all things he was feeling. He glanced up at a Toph who was looking up- not necessarily across the table to him. Just… up. A small smile was planted on her lips.

“I hope that helped some,” Zuko said and took another sip of his tea. He didn’t even realize how dry his mouth had gotten. It shouldn’t have been a difficult task describing Aang, but it was deemed to hold a lot more responsibility than just some random bystander looking for the Avatar. He knew he had to do it justice for Toph.

“Okay, now Katara,” Toph said as she flicked her gaze back down to reality. She took her teacup in her hands and cradled it to give her hands warmth. Zuko’s eyes widened for a second at the realization that she was going to go through the entire group. He cleared his throat and thought for a couple minutes, just like he had with Aang. “Well, she’s taller than you and Aang. But, she’s not really tall… just- average. She’s just average height. She has long, ah… dark brown hair? Sorry, I don’t know hair colors that well. Anyways, she also has big eyes, but not in the same way as Aang’s. You can kinda just… read her whole past in her eyes if you wanted to. You can see the pain and the fear that she’s… yeah. Uh, and they’re blue- like, deep, icy water blue. Her lips are naturally downturned- I think, but… you know how Katara is. She also has these two… what’d Sokka call them? These two… hair loopies that come down and… I dunno… frame her face? Her and Sokka have kinda ah… like a golden complexion? Not like gold- please, don’t think they’re gold- but it’s a deep tanned shade… I guess. I don’t know, it’s hard to say without sounding weird or… The colors that her and Sokka wear are the ones of the Water Tribe, so lots of blues and whites and stuff… they complement their eye colors and skin tone, too… Katara kinda has this disposition where she could hug you or fight you at the same time if that helps… I don’t know.”

He ran his fingers through the divots of the wood carved out in the table from wear-and-tear over time. They were smooth curves now, no rigid edges or stray wood to prick his fingers like they used to when he was a kid. It was his distraction, ultimately, from his stumble of a description of his friends, and mostly, Toph’s reaction.

There was no talk again for a minute, only the faint sound of fire igniting briefly for Zuko to heat up both of their teas. He wasn’t sure of the time anymore, but they had been sitting long enough for their drinks to no longer carry any warmth, which signified a significant length of time.

“Sokka?” Toph asked. He watched as her gaze, just as before, leveled back out with where her head was positioned.

“He… well, he looks like Katara, except… if Katara was a guy. They are siblings so it makes sense. He’s, ah… how do I say this- he’s not built. He’s super… think like a piece of wood. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing I think it kinda fits him, I guess. Oh, he’s taller than Katara and shorter than me… I wish I had a better visual to give you besides just the in-between height of Katara and I. His eyes are the same type of blue as Katara’s but instead of pain, they hold curiosity and… thrill, maybe? It doesn’t mean there isn’t any hurt in his eyes- in Aang’s either- but in Katara’s, it’s kind of hard to navigate around her hurt… yeah. Believe it or not, but Sokka’s hair is kinda long… I guess he used to shave the sides or something, but now it’s all grown out and stuff so he just pulls it back. He has this smug attitude that’s kinda just… all over his face? He always looks like he’s ready to do something or maybe even that he’s hiding something… But there’s also seriousness that hides in his face, too. He wears the same kind of blues and whites like Katara does, again, standard for the Water Tribe… ”

He waited hesitantly for her reply. It was a lot harder than he thought to describe these people who he’d become so close with. He just hoped he hadn’t messed up any of her visions of them. He wasn’t sure what her plan was for all of these descriptions, or why she'd even asked him.

He knew the others could do it better- make it more poetic and imaginary. But he wasn’t that person. He was the Fire Lord- and even before he was the Fire Lord, he was a silenced Prince. Creativity didn’t flow through him like it did the others. He wished it did, sometimes. Maybe then he’d be able to give Toph illusive descriptions of the people that mattered most to her.

“I hope those were okay,” He said, and rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms and pressed in hard so he could see dots. He was getting tired, but he couldn’t sleep even if he was. He hadn’t been able to. He had gotten comfortable with tiredness. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, but adjusting to the new role was harder than he thought.

“They were,” Toph reassured him quietly. It was sincere- he had no doubt. Toph, who was usually loud and stubborn and a tough fighter, was more reserved at night than Zuko would have thought. Maybe it was because she was tired, or because she had seen her friends in full bloom for the first time. Whichever it was, he couldn’t tell.

They sat there in silence again, moments of tea being sipped were exchanged, but mostly just quiet. It was solemn, and peaceful. Nothing was in a rush to be said, no battles to fight or rebuild plans to do- it was nice.

“Zuko,” Toph sighed. “What do you look like?”

Zuko’s breath hitched in his throat as his heart rate sped up again. He didn’t know where to begin or what to say, and surely he was stupid for believing that she wasn’t going to just let him slide. He couldn't just ignore the brutality that slashed half his face. He couldn’t sit with the guilt that she didn’t know it was there because he didn’t tell her.

His eyes widened slowly as he came to a sudden realization of what Toph was doing. It was comical, truthfully. He almost laughed. This was her way of getting the story. He wasn’t sure how she knew that his banishment had something to do with his cosmetic looks, but he gave her props for it nonetheless.

He took a deep breath and locked his gaze on the wood table as an anchor.

“I’m tall. Tallest, actually. I have really pale skin, but that’s just a Fire Nation thing… I don’t consider myself to be… built? I’m not exactly like Sokka but I'm not crazy buff either if that helps. My eyes aren’t as big or… full of adventure as the others have. I don’t know what all you can see, but I know they don’t have that. They’re brown, but almost everyone in the Fire Nation has brown eyes. It’s nothing special. I have shaggy hair- well, it’s black, and I have to pull it back for Fire Lord stuff, so I guess shaggy is the best way to describe it. I like it, I guess. I don’t feel confined with it. I wear a lot of reds and golds and blacks, which are Fire Nation colors. Right now I’m just wearing a… red shirt and black pants? Black slippers? I don’t know if that part helps or not… I also always look dissatisfied. At least, that’s what Sokka tells me. I don’t really know what he means by that…”

Zuko paused for a minute. Toph was staring across to him now as if she could recognize where he was. Her eyebrows were stitched together as if attempting to put his puzzle pieces together.

“And then there’s my… my scar.”

Deep breath.

“It covers my entire left eye… It doesn’t even open fully anymore. It bleeds out around to my ear and stops just before my jawline. It doesn’t hurt anymore, in case you’re wondering. It’s healed. It’s been since I was banished, so… three years. But, it’s there.

There was more to that story, by the way. My banishment. I didn’t just say something and was kicked out. I didn’t back down from an Agni Kai to… well, to prove to m- … Ozai, that I was stronger than he thought I was. That I deserved to be in the meeting. I didn’t think it’d be my own father I’d fight. I pleaded for some kind of relief and reprieve. All I got was a burn so deep that my skin almost melted off…”

There was silence.

No tea sips, no shifting in chairs. There wasn’t even really the sound of breathing anymore. It was still air.

This story had the ability to do that.

“Can I feel it?”

Zuko didn’t question it, or back away. He nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see it.

He pushed himself out of the chair and walked around the table. He slowly crouched down until he was level with Toph, his hand steadying himself on the corner of the table, his fingers circling the divots so smoothly carved once more.

He took Toph’s hand, almost twice the size more compact of his own, and gingerly placed it on his cheekbone. He swallowed and shut his eyes, allowing her small, calloused hand to run slowly over it.

Toph wasn’t a gentle person by nature. But the minute that her hand touched his scar she felt his pain a thousand times over- intense and deep and wretched. She moved her hand slowly across his face, the ridges telling each their own thread of agony and grievance. Her hand roamed, unsure of where or if it ever was going to stop. If the story of his pain was ever going to cease. She blinked back tears as she finally reached his jawline. Untouched and human. Boyish and youthful. Peace.

She took her hand off of his face and cleared her throat, unsure of what else to do. She had gotten herself to this point- to this level. Now what?

She felt his presence leave due to the shift in cold air that shuffled in and heard him sit back down across from her, respectively.

Again, there was silence.

Not the same kind of silence where it was stilted, or even tense. It was an understood silence. An ‘I know your pain’ silence. It was gentle and welcomed and fluid.

So, they sat there for a minute. Neither unsure of how else to go on or continue their conversation. They sipped their tea in offbeat patterns. Long, slow, drawls of tea.

As the sun began to rise, Zuko realized that his job was beginning. He wasn’t a banished prince anymore, or a kid with an uncontrollable rage and fear of his father. Although that kid still existed in him, it wasn’t center stage. Fire Lord Zuko was. And as the dawn rose, so did he.

He gathered the two pieces of china from the table, both now completely empty of their tea. He put them on the counter for a maid to clean later.

Zuko glanced back at Toph- still sitting at the table, only this time, she was looking at the sunrise from the fully-bloomed windows in front of her. He knew she wasn’t looking at the sunrise, but he hoped that maybe she was picturing her friends in the same ways he had said- hopefully, even better. There was a small smile on her face, too. One of understanding.

He knew then that although she wanted to know his past, there was a part of her that wanted to be able to see her friends, too. He’d never know why she had asked him rather than asking a more creative mind, or even a closer friend, but he knew he would always be appreciative of being the one who did it for her.

Zuko’s lips upturned slightly and he turned to leave, carefully in an attempt to not disturb Toph’s somewhat mediation.

“Hey, Zuko?” He looked back over his shoulder to the girl, her face and gaze unmoving from the now more evident daybreak.

“Thank you.”

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capricornus-rex · 5 years

Note

Hey Hon! I have another request if that’s quite alright with you? What about Cal being needy and mushy for your attention? Like he’s clingier than usual? I haven’t seen any clingy!Cal (maybe bc it isn’t in his character?) on my dash so I thought I’d give it a shot! Let me know if this is okay :) Thanks, hon! 🥺💘

Hi Hon! Oooh, I like this one you got 😉 I personally think Cal is a closeted clingy Jedi bf, but when push comes to shove, I think he’s not afraid to be very cuddly and mushy. I think he’s great at hugging and cuddling!! 🥺🥰 I hope you’ll like the fic! You’re welcome, sweetie! 🥰💞

“His Spark of Light”

Cal Kestis x Reader

Read Part 2 next | Masterlist

1 of ?

Greez cranked the auto-pilot lever, hopped out of his seat to stretch his legs and arms, and then joined everybody out of the cockpit.

Cere was lounging in the holotable couch and Merrin was tending the terrarium. Cal was in the lounge by the dining area, lying down on the couch while hovering a ball over his face using the Force.

“Hey guys, quiet day today, huh?”

“Indeed, Captain,” Cere replied on behalf of everyone.

“Well, I was thinking of cooking up some deep-fried Nuna legs for lunch,”

The simple mention of that dish got everybody’s attention—for various reasons: Merrin was intrigued given that she hasn’t had a taste of many different dishes around the galaxy, Cere’s stomach growl when she started imagining it from its cooking process until it’s served, Cal had the same reason as Cere’s but another thing came to his mind—it was one of your favorite foods too.

The verdict was clear.

“Alright, I’ll start cookin’,” Greez hobbled to the galley.

Cere noticed that Cal had been quiet, a little dejected, but mostly bored the whole day. As a matter of fact, this was the only time he’s somewhat settled down; over the past four days, he’s busied himself with tinkering with his lightsaber—changing the parts whenever he feels like it—or simply meditating with the attempt of reaching out to you, even with the faintest connection.

“Trouble meditating again?” Cere said while standing by the open doorway to Cal’s quarters.

“Not much, just…”

“Your thoughts dwelling on [y/n] again?”

Cal had no escape from that question, he pursed in his lips and Cere took that as a yes. She called him for lunch and they went to the galley together. The smell of the deep-fried Nuna legs wafted around the ship, it made everybody’s stomach grumble. Greez added his personal touch of adding mushrooms and tomatoes as a side-dish.

Small talk revolved around the table as the crew ate, little BD-1 curiously scanned the food and drink on the table.

“You know, you better teach that droid some table manners, kid!” Greez grumbled as he gobbled his food.

Everybody except Greez chuckled over BD-1 and Greez’s antics. Cere still sensed Cal’s uneasiness. She quietly noticed that he took long in-betweens after taking a spoonful, he was quiet too even during conversations. In the middle of the meal, the holotable was emitting a ringing sound—indicating an incoming transmission—the first three rings of the alarm made Cal jump out of his seat at the table, jump over the three steps and ran to the holotable to switch on the projector.

A projection of you fizzled into the center of the holotable. Cal’s eyes lit up. Cere joined Cal at the holotable, and then later Merrin and Greez paused from eating to hear from you. It has been four days after all.

“[y/n]?”

“Hey Cal. Hi Cere,” you greeted. “Sorry I didn’t transmit as soon as I finished in Geonosis. I actually got sidetracked, I managed to hitch a ride with some rebel fighters.”

Through the transmission, you narrated how you met the rebel fighters during your solo mission on Geonosis. They didn’t ask much questions, although they did offer you a ride.

“Where are you headed to with them?” Cere asked, leaning closer to the rim of the holotable.

Despite the slightly blurry resolution of your hologram projection, the withdrawn expression in your face is evident. You sigh and then bite your lip as you carefully choose your words.

“It’s… well, they prefer not to have it said aloud, I’ll explain later. I’ll send the coordinates after this transmission instead,”

“Is it their base?”

Cal was trying his best to conceal his eagerness. The energy that was missing from him this morning finally appeared since you showed up—albeit as a hologram projection.

“I believe so,” you calmly said, clueless to Cal’s sudden mood shift. “They’re very… discreet about it.”

“Alright, we’ll be expecting the coordinates soon,”

“Sure, Cere,” you smiled and slightly angled your head to Cal.

“We’ll meet you there,” Cal concludes.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Along with the coordinates, I’ll be sending a code—for security purposes—once you get close enough to connect with their comms, they’re going to need that code to secure your entry.”

“Gotcha,” Cal replied.

You smiled before your projection on their end crackled and vanished into thin air. Shortly after the transmission ended, a “ping” sound rang in the holotable. Cal’s fingers typed away on the small control screen as the terminal received the said coordinates; a hologram of a planet with a single moon pops out into the center.

“The coordinates point out to this moon right here,” he zoomed in on the smaller sphere in the projection. He reads out the planet name on the terminal’s screen, “Yavin IV.”

“We’ll meet her there, but first: finish your lunch, please, Cal?”

“Okay, okay,” Cal childishly threw his hands up in surrender and marched back to the dining table and emptied his plate in a heartbeat—he practically beat everyone else.

“At least drink something so you don’t choke from all that food stuck in your throat,” Greez commented.

Cal snatched his stainless tumbler and chugged away at its contents, he wiped his lip with the sleeve of his jumpsuit and marched down the three steps from the dining room.

“Cal, kid, we aren’t leaving in the next ten minutes. We aren’t even finished with our food yet!” Greez exclaimed, stopping Cal from getting any farther from the lounge.

“Right, right…” Cal skidded his boots against the floor and returned to the dining table with everyone else. “Sorry.”

“Have you ever been to that place where we’ll be meeting [y/n]?” Merrin started the conversation. Her curiosity was always a good conversation starter.

Yavin IV was an addition to the list of firsts for everyone. The rebel fighters that you were with are just as mysterious. Cere presumed that it may not be the same rebel fighters as Saw’s back in Kashyyyk.

“But if they did help her, then we know that they’re on the same side as ours,” Cere added.

A few minutes later, Greez was finished with his food—along with the rest of the crew—and then marched back to his seat in the cockpit; Cal followed behind him and flopped down on his shotgun seat, he typed away the coordinates on his side of the control panel while Greez prepped the Mantis for the jump to hyperspace.

“Yavin IV is five parsecs from where we are,”

“Well, you all better strap in your seats!” Greez announced, slowly cranking the hyperspace lever until the stars were beginning to appear as thin, blue streaks of light.

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aqvarius · 4 years

Note

With people comparing Namba and Matsunaga (both older, both have an ex which feels redundant plot wise, and having moments of being laid back but also stern), which of the two do you think is the better?(Though I'm not sure if rmd will go beyond the 2nd epilogue since all the backlash from LC and we'll probably never see any more character development from each guy)

hmmmMMMM okay so i still have thoughts about the future of rmd (which i’m still working on slowly to try and get all my Thoughts in order) pending for another ask BUT i actually still haven’t read namba’s adversaries so i feel like i can maybe make a decent comparison without namba having too much advantage

so matsunaga and namba are REALLY similar. the sad thing is that matsunaga’s history with his ex should tie into the plot but it really doesn’t (or rather the link between ex and the plot comes out of literally nowhere) unless you’ve read all the right heart scenes (i’m just presuming this, it might also come out of nowhere even if you’ve read all the heart scenes and also i don’t know which ones exactly bc i didn’t wanna spend any hearts on this route lol).

CUT FOR BIG SPOILERS

i do actually think that matsunaga’s route had more potential to weave in some more complex themes but ultimately ended up being a bit more basic(?) in terms of its core message. while yes, it is groundbreaking for voltage for them to write a bi love interest, i felt the way they tackled sexuality in this route wasn’t the most thoughtful. i mean, for the patient to basically go nuts (honestly don’t even remember his name bc this route made so little impact on me and i didn’t enjoy it enough to save screenshots lol) and murder his ex because he chose to preserve his public image as a celebrity and date a woman just felt like (1) not the most thoughtful character construction for a non-straight character and (2) just a way to (dare i say tokenistically) shoehorn in matsunaga’s sexuality without making it a genuinely impactful part of his personality and the development of his relationship with the mc.

for one, i have to reiterate that it really did come out of nowhere. most of the route focussed on matsunaga’s health issues (frankly unnecessary imo). for me it felt like the health issue thing was a way for matsunaga’s backstory (particularly in relation to kasumi) to be written in, and then the thing with his ex was the way for his character to relate somewhat to a seemingly unrelated case (the actual medical/patient case aspect of the route), but they honestly threw that in so last minute and it was such a passing thing as well? like i feel like matsunaga’s route and his character were developed more from the whole downplaying his health issues thing than his sexuality. however, because the climax of the route was about the patient going berserk, they kind of were like let’s diffuse this situation with a dramatic reveal about matsunaga’s sexuality and that GENUINELY felt like all that was used for. like all of the “getting closer” moments were related to his health issues or hanging out the pomeranian lol.

also honestly the ways in which both the patient and the female patient dealt with the singer’s death was exactly the same (i.e. wanting to die bc what’s the point in living if he’s no longer there) so i didn’t really see the point of there being two of them aside from setting up for a more dramatic ~gasp the singer was bi~ moment which in itself was just a setup for a more dramatic ~gasp matsunaga is bi~ moment right at the end. i also felt like they could have addressed the idea of fear of social discrimination in a more nuanced and thoughtful way? essentially i wasn’t a fan of the whole “he was afraid of being in a publicly gay relationship with me so i killed him bc he broke up with me to be with a woman” thing. and in my opinion, matsunaga contributed NOTHING to that entire theme aside from just saying “i had a boyfriend and we broke up for the same reasons except i didn’t become a murderer” which like........ you could have used this opportunity to actually explore the pain and difficulty of needing to hide your relationship because of social taboo or being discarded because your partner chose public image over you rather than just write this character off as a vengeful gay ex vs the good bi guy (matsunaga who just accepts injustices like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ que sera sera). i thought it would have been a stronger and more sophisticated story had they either focussed on either one theme or the other in this one route (health/life expectancy issues vs sexuality) instead of kind of having both be treated a little half-heartedly. the feeling i got was that the first step to getting closer (and i say this laughingly bc honestly the distance between them even after 30 chapters is GAPING) was the pomeranian and then the topic that gave their relationship a little more depth than “we’re just hanging out with your dog” was the revelation of his health issues.

also the idea that people live on through your memories of them felt a little like... overdone/simple? or that it was lacking a more sophisticated engagement with the idea of death, legacy and memories. i’ve read school life shoujo manga that deals with that theme in a more interesting way. so for me, it felt a little ingenuine that it was treated by as a perspective or way of thinking about death that was like a mindblowing new way to look at life ahead, especially since the characters involved are in their 20s, not early teens.

so anyway i think that matsunaga has potentially a deeper character? namba has more or less ‘healed’ or at least learnt to cope with his issues enough that you wouldn’t know anything is up but it’s clear that matsunaga still has a lot of personal issues to work through, so there was genuine potential to overcome some of that boss-subordinate power imbalance through having genuine connection between just humans or to develop him as a character whose prioritisation of others is maybe a flaw. i just think that they crammed so many things in that none of it really got addressed or developed properly lol.

i will say that i find matsunaga is way less fun than namba? namba is more of a “my pace” kind of guy - he’s more random/eccentric which i enjoy. matsunaga’s persona is more just like a regular nice guy? you would NEVER find matsunaga just on the street in costume pretending to be a fortune teller for no reason but to give you random love advice?

but on that same note, i definitely feel less chemistry between matsunaga and his mc compared to namba. maybe this is just bc i only read matsunaga’s normal ending in which she confesses and asks him out and he literally SAYS NO AND IT ENDS WITH HER GETTING REJECTED (and i’m p sure they still aren’t together even in the happy ending or the epilogue), but the whole time i feel like there was only ever a parent-child relationship between them. i never felt like matsunaga treated her any different than how he treats literally anyone else in the EICU. i actually think he treats kasumi the best out of everyone, including his mc. the weird thing is that rmd actually had way more time and potential - i mean they literally SET THE TWO CHARACTERS UP IN AN EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC CONTEXT and there was still NEGATIVE amounts of romantic chemistry??? HOW? namba and his mc literally were in a boss-subordinate dynamic the entire time and they still had more chemistry and genuine interpersonal connection without it feeling like the mc is a small pet vying for her owner’s attention the entire time while also somehow simultaneously trying to mother him? i’m not kidding when i say that namba and his mc are more fun in 10 chapters than matsunaga and his mc are in THIRTY.

ALSO namba’s (consistent lol) berating of his mc makes sense with his character and the context and is justified every time because his mc is a thoughtless noob (but one with potential that he sees his old self in). on the other hand, matsunaga has one moment when he scolds his mc for... some reason... but because she’s supposed to be this superstar student, she doesn’t really make the mistakes that allow her those learning opportunities. and then matsunaga basically just lets her do whatever she wants re: dealing with patients.

oh and also the plot of namba’s route is better.

in short, matsunaga’s route had potential but i feel like the missed potential and the lack of thoughtfulness in cramming in too many themes and not making the most of them are huge negative factors. namba has a more fun character, there is SO much more romantic chemistry between him and his mc, the plot is better and more interesting and has a twist without it feeling forced, namba’s comments about his age/their age gap make more sense for his character, his sprite is more attractive (lmaoooo), the relationship development is more organic, even the moments of rejection feel both more earned and heartbreaking. tl;dr: namba wins

ALSO sorry it took me so long to reply!! i’m still half in and out of tumblr

#Anonymous #snow answers #eiichi matsunaga #jin namba #romance md: always on call #rmdaoc #romance md #her love in the force #hlitf #voltage inc #voltage otome #otome game #otome romance #love 365 #love 365 find your story #love choice

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maxe-mini · 4 years

Text

Pretty Blue Eyes

A/N- Hey there! So this is my first ever full written fanfic, atleast one I’m going to post on tumblr. I had a lot of fun writing this, in fact, I finished it in a d a y sjgjsdb so yeah. This is gonna be an OC x Bakugou oneshot(?) Im not sure if its a oneshot bc I might make a follow up in thhe future, it depends. Anywayyyy, yeah! If you want details on who my OC is, her name is Kano Amaya(Last name, first name). I’ve posted plenty of art I’ve made of her on this blog, which can be found on my pinned post, which also happens to have the link to her wiki on Amino. Give it a read if you’d like! Now onto the fanfic! :DD

Taglist: @deephasoceanmagic @kuroshin15

Warning: Lots of cursing(I mean it has Bakugou in it), small mentions of blood and nosebleeds, overworking, passing out

A/N- dw this is actually just soft and ‘angry pomeranian is angry bc he has feelings lmaoooo’

This wasn’t the first time it’s happened, but that didn’t mean it pissed him off any less. For the sixth time these past few days, his eyes had managed to wander right back to her. Dark blue hair tied into two low pig tails that seemed to always flow through the air just the right way as she moved. Cold yet mystical blue eyes that he could constantly feel himself drowning in. Fair skin dusted with soft freckles that he craved to touch. F u c k. He was absolutely smitten by this girl and he did not like it one bit. Those goddamn pretty blue pupils suddenly met his, and he stared back-even that was a competition to him now-forcing a scowl on his face. The girl merely raised an eyebrow before returning back to quietly eating her food, the chatter around her seeming to be uninteresting.

Bakugou scoffed, finally returning his own crimson eyes to his curry, practically stabbing a piece of meat with his fork as if it had personally wronged him, earning a few concerned glances from his- he did NOT want to call them friends- classmates. Only the sound of utensils clattering with plates could be heard around their table, which surprisingly only served to piss off the ash-blonde haired boy even more. “What?” He spat out, looking up to see Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari staring at him, their eyes practically answering his question.

“You doing alright man? You seem… more angry than usual.” Kirishima was the first one to speak up, his small eyebrows furrowing up in worry. “Did Kano do something?” Sero followed. Turns out that was a big mistake. Just hearing her name sent a jolt of electricity through his spine, and for a second he thought Kaminari had a death wish.

Bakugou growled. “That’s none of your fucking business.” He didn’t shout, he didn’t scream, he didn’t even let a single small explosion go off on his palm like he usually did as a threat. The ash-blonde boy only returned to his food, and it seemed his words were enough to stop any more questions from his peers. Good. Atleast they knew what was good for them.

It hadn’t always been like this.

Bakugou stared at the ground, the angriest, most frustrated frown anyone had ever seen on his face. His classmates stared at him in concern, knowing exactly why he was so full of rage, yet none of them knew how to help. He’s always been difficult to deal with. None of them wanted to risk trying to comfort him, knowing that would possibly make him even more upset.

He was silent, his hands shoved into his pockets and his posture slouched. He had failed the Provisional Licensing Exams, and he was feeling no less than pissed about it. He knew it was because of his ‘harsh language’ towards the victims- if you could even call them that, they were all actors after all. Just thinking about it made him grit his teeth in frustration.

Before he could mope around even more, a delicate, dainty hand suddenly wrapped around his arm and forced him away from his thoughts as they pulled him to the back of the bus. People were apparently still collecting their things and everyone had time to chat with each other before having to eventually get back to school- not that he himself was interested in doing that. His frown faded away to surprise before he noticed who it was. Kano.

The scowl edged itself back onto Bakugou’s face as he stared at her, yet for some reason, he didn’t move. He let her bring himself here, and for some god forsaken reason, he wanted to hear what she had to say.

Those blue eyes pierced through his soul, as if analyzing every bit and piece of who he was. It took a fair amount of his will power not to back away, only staring back, hoping his gaze was as intense as hers.

“Bakugou.” Her voice was firm. It always was, whenever she talked, which was a rare occasion. The boy in question didn’t answer, only raising his eyebrow in response.

“I know you’re upset about the Licensing Exam.” She continued, her expression unchanging, staring at him in stoic honesty, and he could not-for the life of him- pinpoint what she was feeling at the moment.

“No shit. I don’t want your pity.” Bakugou spat back, his words laced with venom. If anything made him angry, it was pity from other people. He didn’t need anyone’s fucking help. He wasn’t weak.

“I don’t pity you. In fact, I look up to you, and I whole heartedly believe that you will receive your Hero License after the training course with ease.” Kano wasn’t startled at all by his profanity. She only stared at him through those unreadable eyes which he always managed to get lost in.

Bakugou’s own crimson eyes widened slightly in surprise. That wasn’t what he expected. He didn’t answer. He didn’t know HOW to answer. This was not something he expected from someone like her, especially when he considered her competition, along with Half and Half and Ponytail.

“So stop moping around. You know you’re strong. You know you’ll be fine, so go kick some ass at that training course.” For the first time since he’d seen her in the entrance exam, she sweared. Not only that, the corners of her lips curled up into a soft, confident smile, her faintly freckled cheeks glowing an equally soft pink along with it. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her with any other expression except for the one she always wore, unchanging and unreadable. She had her hands to her hips and looked so uncharacteristically bold.

Bakugou could only stare. He’s been doing that way too much now, but he had nothing to say. He didn’t expect ANY of this from Kano. The ash-blonde haired boy was thoroughly taken by surprise.

'That smile looks nice on her.'

The thought made him blink rapidly, startled by his own mind. What the fuck? What the fuck was he thinking about?

After a few seconds of silence, possibly as Kano patiently waited for his response, he formulated a reply.

“You’re goddamn right I will.” He grinned. The same confident grin that brought terror onto those who were up against him.

Seeing him back to his normal state seemed to have made Kano much more glad, as her smile only widened. F u c k. That smile could kill people. Bakugou barely managed to hold back incoming heat that was threatening to expose itself on his face, and he hoped to god that the girl in question couldn’t hear his rapid heartbeat.

Before any of the two could say something, a voice pulled both of them right out of their thoughts. “Hey, where’s Kano and Bakugou?” It was Shitty Hair. Of course it would be Shitty Hair.

The ash-blonde haired boy walked away, not waiting for whatever Kano was going to say next, assuming she had any. The glimmer of wild confidence had intensified in his eyes, and he was feeling pumped up. He would never admit it, but what she said helped.

The ride back home was a blur after that. Thoughts of the upcoming training course flashed through his mind, interrupted by a few images of Kano’s smile. It irritated him to the core.

Bakugou grimaced at the memory, knowing that that was the start of when he started thinking of Kano as more than just a rival, and let himself scream a battle cry as he released a massive explosion onto an equally massive boulder, resulting in it having a big gaping hole in the middle, the little bits and pieces of rubble all but strewn about behind it.

The ash-blonde haired boy huffed. Class 1-A had been given time to train in Gym Gamma, and he’d been releasing all his frustrations on these rocks. It was working atleast, but now he was tired and his wrists has a dull ache in them. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been destroying these stones, but he assumed it must’ve been a little over an hour. A few of his classmates had already gone back to the dorms, presumably to rest. He scoffed at the thought.

One of the students who hadn’t gone back though, was one of the sources of his frustrations. Kano was currently heaving up an ungodly amount of water, her expression visibly strained, yet it was still stoic. It reminded him of Half-and-Half in a way, but he shook away the thought before he angered himself even more.

He jumped off the concrete platforms to get himself a bottle of water, panting as he noticed he was a little out of breathe. His crimson eyes followed her dark blue figure as her wrists flicked the other way and the liquid which she was floating in the air instantly formed into large icicles. Bakugou’s vision narrowed. 'She’s gotten faster at doing that.'

A part of him was threatened and annoyed at her rapid improvement, but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pride for his classmate. He shoved the thought away, continuing to watch her movements closely. Her back was to him, so he didn’t notice the blood that was flowing down her nose.

Kano threw her torso forward, following her arms, causing the large icicles to pierce through the boulder infront of her, the force of her control and the amount of ice she had enough to absolutely decimate the huge rock. As soon as the icicles went through, they melted back into water, and the girl immediately put the liquid right back into its containers which were from god knows where- Bakugou assumed it had been provided to her earlier before they all started training.

Suddenly, Kano’s knees buckled, and soon she was on the ground. The ash-blonde boy blinked in shock, not quite registering what had happened yet before his legs led him right to her. Her eyes were closed, and he saw the blood that was coming from her nose slowly pool down onto the concrete. Once again, for the first time, Bakugou saw her with different expression on her face. She was in pain.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he wrapped his toned arms around her body, carrying her bridal style. She didn’t move or resist, and Bakugou concluded she had passed out. What the fuck happened? One moment she was destroying rocks left and right, her strength shining through even when she was just training, the next she was unconscious and experiencing a nosebleed? Did the dumbass overwork herself?

Aizawa had been watching from a distance, his tired eyes twitching in irritation. He had heard about how Kano’s bad habit of overtaxing herself in her training, but he didn’t expect her to do it now, not in UA of all places. The teacher pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out an annoyed sigh, walking over to his students- he’d have to talk to her about this later- before he noticed the Bakugou had already gotten to her. Huh. That’s unusual.

“Bakugou. Bring Kano to Recovery Girl. That’s enough for the day for all of you. It’s getting late.” He instructed, his hands in his pockets as he looked around at the few others who were still training. His voice was loud enough to hear for the ones nearby, and the ones from afar seemed to get the message as they saw their peers suddenly stop what they were doing. Good. They’d gotten better at listening.

He expected his ill-tempered student to put up atleast a little bit of a fight. Tell him it wasn’t his responsibility if his dumbass classmate worked themselves past the point of consciousness, but he got none of that. Bakugou merely nodded- although the teacher caught that his mouth was stretched into a thin line and his eyebrows were formed into a near v-shape- and ran to the front door.

Aizawa was a bit surprised, although he didn’t let it show on his face. It seemed this problem child had changed much more than he thought he had.

Bakugou’s arms were stiff against Kano’s body, effortlessly carrying her to the infirmary, which was a good distance away. He should never have decided to carry her when he saw she passed out. If he hadn’t, Aizawa wouldn’t have told him to bring her to Recovery Girl.

He was thoroughly annoyed, his teeth grating against each other as he forced himself not to pop a few small explosions on his palms, not wanting to harm his classmate accidentally.

The ash-blonde boy wasn’t angry because he had to bring his classmate to the infirmary. No. He was angry because of the goddamn heat in his cheeks that just won’t go away. He was angry because of the annoying ass beating in his heart that was pumping at a rate that couldn’t be explained by adrenaline. It was far too fast for that. Bakugou bit back a growl caused by his own frustrations, afraid he’d wake up the girl that was unconscious in his arms. Turns out he didn’t have to do that.

“…Bakugou?” That wasn’t firm. This was, again, the first time he’s heard her voice sound so… vulnerable. The ash-blonde boy met his gaze with hers, and he saw that her eyes were cloudy. Unfocused.

“Yeah, it’s me. You passed out while you were training.” He wasn’t sure why he was answering. The words just left his mouth on their own.

“Mm.” She only hummed in response, nuzzling her face onto his chest. She obviously wasn’t thinking clearly now. Bakugou felt his heart beating at higher speeds than he’d ever thought possible, and he was sure she’d definitely heard it by now. Yet, she didn’t say anything, and he presumed she must’ve passed out again.

After a few minutes more of running, they arrived at Recovery Girl’s. Bakugou let himself catch his breath before he opened the door with his knee, and he was met by the old nurse’s startled gaze.

“Oh dear. What happened?” Recovery Girl shuffled over to them, wordlessly gesturing towards a hospital bed for Bakugou to lay Kano on.

“She passed out while training. Aizawa told me to bring her here.” He watched as his school nurse got to work, checking her temperature and observing her complexion. Now that he could look at her properly, she was a lot paler. What the fuck had this dumbass doing?

A soft whimper pulled him away from his thoughts, and he watched as the girl in question slowly fluttered her eyes open, looking around in a haze. Her hand instantly went to her head, and she groaned in pain. A headache?

Recovery Girl looked worried, but only silently reached for a few pills and a glass of water. “Here, drink this. It should help with the headache for a while.” He was right.

Kano didn’t say anything more, only drinking her medicine. The pain in her expression dulled, and she looked a lot more relaxed. Bakugou wasn’t sure if it was that obvious, or if he’d been observing her long enough to notice these things. He hoped the latter was wrong. That would be extremely embarrassing, maybe even creepy, on his part.

A few beats of silence passed through the mostly empty infirmary, and was only interrupted by the soft tap of glass against wood as Kano set down her glass of water on the small table next to her bed.

“I’ll have you rest here for a while. I apologize for this, but I can’t trust you to go back to the dorms yet, not after what Aizawa told me.” Recovery Girl spoke first, her tone edging on strict. “What?” Her voice wasn’t firm again, and Bakugou felt his chest constrict at its softness. What was wrong with him?

“You’ve had multiple records of passing out from overworking from your previous schools. Kano, I know you want to be the best hero you can be, but this type of behaviour will not be tolerated in UA. You have to let yourself rest every once in a while. Everyone has their own limits, and you need to know yours.” The nurse scolded, which was met by visible surprise on the girl’s face, before she nodded slowly. “I understand.” Kano answered, her pitch soft, yet somehow strong. She was back.

“Good. Now rest, or do I have to tell Bakugou to hold you like earlier so you can do that?” Recovery Girl teased, her tone once again upbeat. Bakugou’s eyes widened slightly as he almost choked, shoving back down the heat that was threatening to expose itself on his cheeks. He did not miss the way Kano did the same, except she wasn’t as successful at hiding her blush, her cheeks flushing a soft pink.

The nurse only chuckled before she went back to her desk, beginning to work on whatever documents were on there. “I’ll tell you when you can leave. You can go to sleep if you want.”

A few beats of silence, then their eyes met. The clarity finally returned back to Kano’s pretty blue pupils as she gazed at him, seeming to be searching for words to say. Bakugou silently stepped closer to the bed, waiting.

“Thank you. I wasn’t expecting you to be the one to bring me here, but it’s a welcome surprise nonetheless.” She finally said, and the ash-blonde boy was left to analyze what she meant by 'welcome surprise.’

“You better be grateful. Why’d your dumbass pass out anyway? You can’t be that weak.” Bakugou responded, and he internally winced at how harsh his words sounded, but he couldn’t help it. Thankfully she didn’t seem to mind, nodding solemnly in response. “It seems I went a bit overboard there again. Recovery Girl was right about me having records for constantly overworking. Sometimes I can’t help it.”

Bakugou grimaced. “Well, that’s stupid.” He didn’t miss Kano’s sigh before he continued. “You don’t even need to do that. You’re already strong regardless.” That caught her by surprise, her head turning to look at him so fast he was afraid her headache would come back. “What? Didn’t expect that either?”

Her eyes were wide. “No. I didn’t but-” That smile. That fucking smile again. “Thank you, again. I appreciate it.” Bakugou wasn’t sure if her cheeks were flushed because she was flustered, or if it just came with her smile. Either way, he liked it.

“You better.” The ash-blonde haired boy let his own soft smile form on his lips, and the two gazed at each other in comfortable silence.

Maybe he won’t be that angry about this after all.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x oc #fanfic #original character

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tokidokifish · 5 years

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so i am going to try, as best i can, to sum up the slightly hysterical 1 am call i had w @mum-feather about all the problems i had with the rise of skywalker, here we go, i’m not cutting this, stop reading now if you don’t want

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* STAR WARS SPOILERS *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

that movie felt so rushed it was like watching a flip book sometimes. like it felt so much like they just wanted to pretend that the last jedi never happened, which GOD, i feel that, my dudes, but maybe try to pace it a little better??

also @zwierzodudle pointed out that amidst scenes that happened way too fast there were scenes that seemed to drag on forever, including and not limited to a lightsaber fight between kylo and rey that lasted a minor eternity while i zoned out

this movie was so disrespectful to finn, holy shit. like it seemed? like they kinda didn’t know what to do with him? but i guess after a movie of the three heroes just fucking off and doing their own thing they seem to have kinda lost steam on what should have been the emotional centerpoint of the movie: the relationship between rey, finn, and poe. like it’s still there, it’s still important, but god it doesn’t hit the same as it did in the force awakens.

also he almost tells rey something that’s pretty clearly that he loves her, but then he NEVER DOES, and the movie talks about it a couple of times and then just fucking drops it like a rock to have him spend an awful lotta time with the socially acceptable black lady.

like i liked her character! they could have had a great character dynamic if it had been a touch more fleshed out! but it was just kinda suspicious!

also rose is still like THERE but they NEVER talk about the end of the last movie. she’s just there, and she doesn’t get to hang out with the rest of the heroes because, uh, reeaaaasons? reasons, i guess. i do not understand the treatment of rose.

they made luke (bc force ghost, obviously) a lot more likable, so that was nice, and also made it clear that yeah, leia trained as a jedi, but then she... [shuffles through notes] stopped... because... she saw her son dying if she continued. holy shit. like, luke, dude, you didn’t think to point out that “yeah, force visions are shit, happened to me, maybe don’t get all Greek Tragedy in making them happen by trying to avoid them”

according to these movies luke skywalker apparently didn’t learn jack shit from the original trilogy and then died because he astral projected too hard.

but guess who also dies because they astral project too hard! it’s leia! she just fucking drops dead like her mom because she reached out across the universe to say ONE FUCKING WORD to her son, and that was apparently enough? to get him to turn his life around and yeet his shitty lightsaber into the sea like a businessman who just discovered what was really important in life?

ONE FUCKING WORD??

anyhow kylo is redeemed now. it is... incredibly unearned. hated it.

also hated the fact that rey was apparently palpatine’s granddaughter, mostly because it felt like suuuuuch an awkward retcon after the last movie was like “lmao no you’re no one, because we gotta be SUBVERSIVE”

not to mention the way it treated falling to the dark side as like... something that just happens. like evil is a choice. harming people is a choice. at no point were they ever like “you kinda liked the force lightning thing, huh?” or “maybe you kinda wanna hurt the people who mistreated you for your entire life?” to rey, she clearly hated when her powers were destructive and never seemed to carry any sort of grudges toward the people that made her upbringing shitty.

like when she starts talking abt how she wants to kill palpatine for having her parents killed (which feels incredibly disingenuous) finn says that doesn’t sound like her and she gets angry but a bitch is right! it doesn’t sound like rey! people keep saying she’s got darkness in her but i’m still like BITCH WHERE. like just because she had a shitty grandfather? so fucking what! luke and leia had a shitty DAD and they were the people she looked up to the most.

it’s absolutely BAFFLING to me the way they treat the dark side.

but at the end palpatine dies, again, presumably for real this time, but rey dies too, but redeemed kylo ren, fresh off just murdering all of his knights because only HE gets a redemption arc, it’s not like they were just taking orders from him, they could have thrown in like a single line about how “we serve the emperor”, but no, all the knights of ren got to do were walk around and look vaguely menacing and then get murdered

ANYHOW, kylo ren crawls out of the hole he got yeeted into, and force heals rey, and then she wakes up and is like “ben~” and i couldn’t even look at the screen as they kissed

gross

god

it’s so fucking gross

but then kylo ren just fucking DIES, goddamn VANISHES, and it is the FUNNIEST SHIT. he doesn’t get a LINE of dialogue once he gets out of that pit, he just dies.

AND THEN, THE WEIRDEST SHIT, and the reason i’m like “apparently rey regretted it immediately” is that she like doesn’t even seem to care! like she’s upset but a LOT OF SHIT has just happened in a really short period of time and it seems like kylo dying is just a fucking drop in an ocean.

like she goes to tatooine to bury luke and leia’s lightsabers because why not and some rando shows up and demands her family name, a thing that is apparently important in a universe with characters named chewbacca, and rey looks off into the distance and you know what her answer is going to be because you saw the title of the movie.

but she doesn’t see kylo, because kylo ren is apparently undeserving of a force ghost, apparently even the force thought his redemption was unearned.

she just sees luke and leia, and THAT’S what makes her say “skywalker”, and i like support that! they were important people in her life! sure wish we had gotten to see more of them being important without also being shitty, tlj!luke, but still, i understand.

but it just makes the whole kiss that much more baffling! it’s like they threw it in there to be like “here, now shut the fuck up” and bc they didn’t have to follow through bc kylo died.

anyhow it was an absolute trainwreck of a movie but hey! better than the last jedi. and if it had been like two movies instead and the reylo thing didn’t happen it could probably even have been some solid films.

oh well.

#rise of skywalker spoilers #star wars spoilers #long post

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gwoongi · 5 years

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𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 ✰ taehyung (5)

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗌 kim taehyung / reader genre: zombie apocalypse au words: 4016

He had you, and that was enough.

warnings: gore, graphic imagery, family trauma, panic attacks, dark themes, drug abuse, drug shaming

a/n: as always,,,,pls leave feedback!! also, after thinking for a while, i realise that the pace of this story might make people upset? not bc it’s fast but because things happen quite quickly, if that makes any sense whatsoever. also, btw, just bc something happens easily in the fic does not mean the rest of the story will end up being that way!!! maybe fate made things easy in order for them to get harder ;)

01. denver ↝ 02. holiday with me ↝ 03. sad forever ↝ 04. surely ↝ 05. scorpion ↝ 06. shakespeare ↝ 07. thrones

“So, is Y/N your girl?”

Unlike yourself, Taehyung seemed to enjoy himself with Namjoon, dragging tied black bags from one end of the yard to the back of the warehouse, where a line of discoloured and rusted dustbins sat. Following a trail of grime from three trips back and forth, Taehyung had memorised this path like the back of his own hand.

“No,” he replied, and he wasn’t sure if he liked his answer. Namjoon looked over, puzzled. “To tell you the truth, we’re not really...anything. Barely friends.”

“Oh,” Namjoon said. “You looked close.”

Taehyung heaved the black bag over his shoulder and into the same dustbin as before. “Survival skills.”

Namjoon turned to head back, waiting for Taehyung to meet his elbow. “You said you’d been together for under two months now? That’s enough to be friends.”

“I don’t know anything about her,” Taehyung confessed, picking up a heavier bag. “I know her birthday, that’s about it. I don’t know- we’re close without being close. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon laughed, looking over his shoulder at him with a grin. “It actually does.”

Matching his smile, Taehyung threw the bag in the slot of the dumpster.

“You’re good at this,” Taehyung complimented.

“I’m used to doing it,” Namjoon replied casually. “Before all of this, I did heavy lifting for a company just outside of Seoul. Moved here to visit my sister for her exchange programme. Didn’t make it back home.”

Information. Taehyung craved it.

“What do you plan to do if you leave?” he asked. “If- that is.”

“Well,” he started in reply, “I wanna get on that boat of yours. Go somewhere safer, hopefully make it back home to our family. Everyone says this, but I know my parents are safe. They own a big business back in Korea and there’s literally no way they’re dead. I know them. Trust me. They’re alive.”

“Even if they are,” Taehyung continued, “do you think you can get there okay? I mean, I’m not being forceful, but I think me and Y/N would like company on the road, and after it. Our group is small, and I was barely there for a month, but they’re reliable. Strong. Safe.”

“Safe enough that no dead-meat can get anyone?” Namjoon asked, and Taehyung thought of Yena and the mess back at the old camp. The silence was enough for Namjoon and he looked away. “Sorry. Touchy subject?”

Taehyung heaved another bag. “Not really. Don’t worry.”

“I know what you want from me, Taehyung,” Namjoon said suddenly.

In alarm, Taehyung looked up. Was he not subtle enough?

“I know you want inside information,” he continued, as if it were obvious. It was, actually. “And I don’t know much. All I know is that they’re secretive pieces of shit. I want out too, like I said. I don’t know anything of value to you, but I might know a way out if it comes down to it. When you need to leave, say the words. I’ll take us-” meaning himself, Taehyung, his sister and yourself- “-to the exit and we can leave. It’ll be harder than I make it sound, but I can do it. Just never had the people to do it for. That’s all I can offer.”

He didn’t really know what to say. “That’s more than enough,” he nodded quietly. He barely looked up, “thank you.”

Namjoon didn’t press the conversation any further and neither did Taehyung. Actually, he didn’t talk until he pulled a heavier bag towards the far end dustbin labelled “PRODUCT WASTE”, and before he even arrived, Namjoon cringed at the smell.

“Smells more like human waste,” he commented, grimacing. “You got the bag? You gon’ throw it?”

Taehyung nodded curtly. “I got it.”

The elder smirked to himself, dropping his own bag to the floor with a squelch, the contents moving like the inside of a water bed. Without really taking any notice, Taehyung wrapped the black material around his hand, closing it like a fist as he readied to throw the bags. It was just like sports back at Uni. A game. Trivial.

“Ready?”

Silence.

Curious as to why Namjoon didn’t reply, Taehyung slouched and looked up through his straw-dry hair, noticing that Namjoon had frozen in movements, the muscles in his back tensed. The lid to the bin was pulled open, standing tall on the brick of the warehouse, a single fly rising from the inside of the presumably empty (or emptier) dumpster. For whatever reason, Taehyung couldn’t understand why Namjoon had stopped.

Without saying a word, Taehyung dropped the bag gently to the floor, minding the sickly moist sound. Stepping around the spilled black material, he approached Namjoon gently, minding him more than the bin. Pressing a hand to his shoulder, Taehyung made sure Namjoon was stable before he, too, looked into the bin.

Inside, he didn’t know if he was relieved or disturbed to see a pile of clothes, children sized clothes. In honesty, he had expected worse. Was this better than a body?

“Clothes?” he questioned, not looking away from the rainbow striped shirt and blue denim shorts. A pair of shoes were tossed to the side, and locks of raven hair. Underneath, he no doubt noticed more clothes. Confused, he looked to Namjoon for answers, stunned when he saw an unreadable expression on Namjoon’s face. “What is it?”

“I know those clothes.”

Taehyung held his breath.

When Namjoon turned, Taehyung half knew what was coming.

“They’re Daniel’s.”

Needless to say, the walk back to the main barn was hurried and silent.

Taehyung didn’t know what to say; he didn’t even know if he had to say anything. Several steps behind Namjoon, he constantly felt his gaze lifting from ahead to the ground back to Namjoon, his strides large and careful, his gaze scanning the lot for his sister. In a pause of great relief, Namjoon stepped quickly towards the smaller cattle barn, puzzled to see Kyungmin alone, afraid to know the reason why.

“Kyungmin!”

His voice was loud, louder than normal at-least, and Kyungmin looked up suddenly. Her mouth rounded to a “o”, and her eyes widened at the sight of her brother marching up to the fence. She rested her weight on the rake and furrowed her brows as he stormed over.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?”

Namjoon scowled at her, not bothering to answer that question.

“Where’s Y/N?” Namjoon asked, and Taehyung looked up at Kyungmin then, slinking away when he found her eyes darting from Namjoon to Taehyung in alarm. “Kyungmin, I swear to fucking God, I’m being serious. Where’s. Y/N?”

Kyungmin began to talk and choked back the words. “Her hands got bloody so I said she should wash her hands. She went inside. When she came back out, she went to the main barn and started throwing up. I told her not to worry and to stay inside. She just wouldn’t stop throwing up breakfast.”

“Why were her hands bloody?” Taehyung asked suddenly, clearly not alarmed by the fact that you were currently throwing up near the barn. Namjoon turned around, scanning the field and noticing you hunched over near the doors, no vomit, but pain in your posture.

“We were feeding the pigs meat.”

Suddenly Taehyung felt like he knew why you were throwing up.

Muttering a hasty thanks, Taehyung turned on his heels to stride towards the barn, where his gaze rounded on your frame by the doors. Namjoon didn’t bother following, knowing you needed space most of all, and time alone with Taehyung. Instead, he turned back to Kyungmin and ushered her forward for a hug. He knew her clothes. He was thankful he hadn’t seen them in places he never even expected to find clothes.

It took Taehyung less than ten seconds to cross the field, whereas it usually took him thirty. On his last three steps, you had turned around, meeting him halfway through his second and practically pushing yourself into his chest, comforted by the feeling of arms around you, a hand cradling your head, a thumb painting circles on your back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you,” even though he had no idea if it was okay.

He had you, and that was enough.

28TH JUNE. MANY YEARS AGO.

“You never want anything to do with this fucking family! You think we want a fucking low-life in the house? You think I want a drug obsessed alcoholic around my kid? Fuck you.”

Another day in the life of Y/N L/N.

You stopped writing, listening to the last bits of conversation down the stairs of your family home. Aged 7, you had never known anything different than arguing. Every day, like a broken record, the same familiar sound of spiteful arguing, cups smashing and doors slamming greeted you, and to be honest, it felt normal.

Dad’s come home drunk again. He was out with Kristy.

You paused, listening.

“You’re a monster. I hate you. Our daughter doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this.”

He was fucking her.

Setting down your pen, you slid it down the spiral binder of your diary, rising from the top step and heading back to your bedroom. Like every other day, it got boring after the blaming happened. In a few minutes a cup would break, and Mum would leave the house to stand on the patio, crying. At that, you closed your window. You didn’t want to hear it. After that, Dad would come upstairs. He’d cry. He’d come in the room and make empty promises he knew he couldn’t keep.

It was a mundane routine that you couldn’t fall out of.

Sitting on the floor with your arms wrapped around your knees, you didn’t flinch when the familiar sound of a mug breaking on the kitchen tiles screamed in the house. Moments later, the door. Even with the window closed, you could hear your Mum crying. As if trying to make a point, she was crying louder. Harder.

The neighbours also closed their windows. It was easier that way.

Eventually, you heard footsteps coming up the stairs, slow and heavy. You clamped your eyes closed in dread; you dreaded hearing those words. You dreaded being filled with false hope, only to be disappointed endlessly the next evening.

A quiet thud made you look up towards your door, noticing your Dad step inside with bloodshot eyes. He hadn’t been crying this time. They were red from drugs, from the weed you could smell on his clothes. Today, he was stumbling across the room. Drunk.

“Y/N, baby,” he said, his voice gentle but slurred. You cringed away and he paused, noticing. “You’re not afraid of me, are you sweetie?”

“Dad,” you whimpered.

He dropped to a small frog-like crouch, taking tiny steps towards you, his hands outstretched. They were shaking. Would he even remember this in the morning?

“You know I love you baby,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion or empathy, let alone love. He waved his hands, motioning you to come forward. Above everything, he was still your Dad. The only Dad you’ll ever have. “I love you so much sweetheart. I’m gonna fix everything and it’ll be okay again. I’m gonna make things right. I’m gonna come and get you in a few years, okay? We can move somewhere nice. By the beach?”

His voice lifted, and you thought the beach sounded nice. Relieved, he saw a nod.

For the first time in two months of this never-ending cycle happening, you moved forward into his arms, accepting a hug. One of the last hugs from him.

“There, there, honey,” he murmured against your hair, rocking you from side to side. A hand on the back of your head. Another on your back. Familiar. “I’ve got you, honey. It’s okay. I’m here. I got you.”

PRESENT DAY.

Since this morning, Taehyung’s hand had never once left your back.

It felt like a reminder that he was there for you, no matter what. Without words, he comforted you, letting you know that even when the world felt like complete and utter shit, there was someone you could rely on.

You sat quietly by his side, your thighs touching, legs hanging down over in the barn. Taehyung rested his chin on the beam running across as a sort of barrier to stop boxes from toppling down from where he had set up your shared sleeping mat, one hand under his chin, the other on the small of your back, becoming friendly. He hadn’t said anything since earlier. You liked that about him; he never pushed you to speak when he knew you didn’t want to.

“Earlier,” you said, and he quickly looked over, mostly surprised you were talking. Your gaze was downcast, staring at an empty spot in space. He moved his hand from your back to your lap, gripping your own hand with a comfortable force. “When you held me, you reminded me of my Dad.”

Oh. He didn’t know what to say. So he said nothing, figuring you had more to the story.

“When I was younger, my family would fight a lot,” you continued, voice quiet and gentle, like the voiced feeling of stroking a feather, “like every other family. I was no stranger to the typical parent fights. Only, they were daily. Every single day, I would hear them fight downstairs. I was so scared that one day, it wouldn’t be a cup breaking. I was scared I’d find my Mum downstairs on the floor instead of china or glass. I was scared of seeing either one of my parents hurt. My Dad...he’d come upstairs. Hold me for a while, crying. I’d cry too. He’d tell me that he’d come back for me. That he’d hold me tighter. That he had me. I felt so safe in his arms, even though I knew they were filthy. The arms of a monster.

“But I loved him. Because he was my Dad and no matter how much he hurt my Mum or me, I’d still love him. Everyday, I’d fall for the same recycled bullshit explanation. Until one day, he didn’t come upstairs to find me. One day, he just left. He left me and my Mum alone. He’d run off with the woman he was sleeping with on the side. He said- said he was too upset and neglected to come back to trouble. To come back to us.”

Taehyung truly didn’t know what to say.

“My Mum got diagnosed with breast cancer a couple months later. It broke us. Broke her and me, our relationship. And-my Mum phoned my Dad one day. She asked him to take care of me when she passed away. He said-” you choked on your words, unaware that tears were rolling down your face uncontrollably. “-He said that he didn’t know who was calling. Didn’t know a [Mum’s name] or a Y/N. Fucked off with another woman and had more kids. Forgot about the one who loved him. And, when my Mum died,” you sniffed, inhaling breath, “I had nothing. No money and barely any family. I moved in with my grandparents.”

Wiping away the tears, you braved looking at Taehyung. “Truth is, Taehyung, I’m scared. I didn’t wanna let you in, because I didn’t wanna be alone again. But, I need you. I need you. I need you to live. If not with me, then for me. Right now, you’re all I have left.”

He knew no words could reply. Instead, he pulled you forward, tightly wrapping you in an embrace beyond friendship. Inhaling the natural smell of your skin, he tightened his grip, content when your arms snaked around his waist, your face pushed near his armpit, his own face buried in your nest of hair.

“You’ve got me,” he whispered. He was sincere, you could hear it laced in his words. “You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere without you, okay? I’m here. I’m here for you, always.”

The hug lasted longer than before, until it became physically uncomfortable to hold. When he pulled away carefully, he held your face in both of his hands, leaning to press a gentle kiss against your jaw, whispers hot against your skin, repeated, “I’ve got you,” marking your skin like a tattoo. His thumbs absentmindedly moved tears from your face, and when he moved from your jaw, he rested his forehead against your own, forcing himself to look down into your eyes.

It was suddenly intimidating, being this close to intimate with you.

“Don’t,” you said whilst moving away. His lips turned to a frown. “I smell like vomit.”

At that, he smiled softly, laughing almost. “I’ve literally smelt worse today. It’s not that bad.”

“It’s gross.”

He hummed as if indifferent. “It’s okay. Doesn’t bother me.”

Triumphant, you moved back, your hands curled around his upper-wrists as he cradled your face.

“What I saw today,” you began, after some time of silence. You struggled to find the right words. “I- Daniel-”

“I know,” Taehyung replied quietly. “I saw his clothes. A dumpster full.”

“They were feeding the pigs human meat,” you exclaimed, exasperated, moving away without realising with your hands still around his wrists. He let you move. Instead he just held your hands. “Human meat. And guts and there was so much blood and- it’s completely different to seeing a biter. They had bodies in the freezer, Taehyung. I don’t know if they eat them or feed them to animals but I saw what I saw and-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Taehyung soothed, calming your panicked breaths. “I know. I take it this is one of your, ‘I told you so’ moments, huh.”

You smiled at that. “Isn’t it true though? I told you.”

“You did,” he agreed. “And I’m sorry for shrugging it off.”

Glancing up, you caught his gaze. Looking in his eyes, you let out a gentle sigh, “we can’t stay here, Taehyung. We really can’t.”

“I know,” he nodded, kissing your knuckles briefly before looking down at the bottom of the barn. Namjoon moved away from Kyungmin to look over at the group of other outsiders, and then his gaze flickered up to you both at the top of the barn. He nodded wordlessly, and Taehyung turned to you with a gentle and soft gaze. Had he ever looked at anything more beautifully? “I know. I’m gonna make things right.”

You closed your eyes.

It was not yet sunrise, and Taehyung figured he had to act quickly if he wanted to seize the chance to leave. Outside, he could hear the faint sound of reloading rifles and trucks transporting firearms further inside the warehouse, and he quickly descended the ladder to join Namjoon in the middle of the barn. Never before had the gun tucked at the back of his jeans felt so tight against his skin, as he walked with a newfound sense of pride and bravery towards Namjoon and Kyungmin, who sat on a hay-bale quietly. Joined by yourself, Kyungmin shuffled to lend you a seat as Namjoon gently led Taehyung away from the pair of you to a space of silence.

“I can’t protect everybody here,” Namjoon admitted quietly, gesturing to the rest of his old group huddled in their usual corner. In honesty, Taehyung hadn’t considered the possibility of them coming along. “But I can protect you and Y/N. Kyungmin is my priority, and I’ll do what I can to make sure you and Y/N get out safely. But I cannot guarantee everybody here will make it.”

Taehyung nodded. “I didn’t know they were coming.”

“I don’t want to carry the guilt,” he replied. “Just putting it out there.”

He lifted his hand to Namjoon’s shoulder, clapping it tightly and smiling as naturally as he could. Satisfied with the ghost of a smile Namjoon gave, he let go, approaching Kyungmin and yourself back on the hay bale. Reaching out to your hand he took it in his own, pulling you to your feet with Kyungmin following behind, meanwhile Namjoon stepped towards the huddled group in the corner of the barn.

They looked up, noticing Namjoon lingering near the open door to their area. A woman closest to the door took several moments looking at each one of you outside the stack. “What’s going on?”

Namjoon felt nervous. “The insiders are fighting a horde of dead-meat at sunrise.”

Someone scoffed. “Who cares?”

“Me. Because as soon as all attention is on the left, we’re leaving through the right.”

At that, a burst of life erupted from the corner, a mixture of exclamations and protests.

“You can stay if it’s too hard for you to leave,” Namjoon carried on talking, “but if you come, and you make it out, we can band together. Taehyung and Y/N know a group in Georgia with boats. Now, these boats can get us to the islands off the coast, where the infection probably hasn’t spread. We stay there until we have enough resources to continue going to wherever we best see fit. Most importantly, we’re not asking permission to leave. This is my last goodbye.”

“Namjoon!” the same woman rose to her feet. “You’re going to just abandon Jenny and Daniel? And Clara? Just for a bunch of stragglers we barely know?”

Namjoon nodded, confident. “I trust them.”

She scoffed. “Don’t be dumb.”

He took several steps backwards, his arm extending around Kyungmin in a protective manner as the group simultaneously rose to their feet. From the back of the small group of survivors, a man you remember being called to as “Harry” stepped up and over a bale of hay, a smooth black pistol in his hands pointed forward.

Namjoon immediately raised his hands. “Put it down, Harry.”

“No, man, fuck you!’ he cursed. “You pickin’ them over us? After all we’ve been through? Throwin’ it away for some fuckin’ Asian lowlives-”

“Way to make it personal,” you muttered, and his pistol spun in the air to face you.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch!”

As his gun moved in your direction, Taehyung felt his body set into Protective Mode: he grabbed the gun from the back of his jeans and pulled it out, pointing it steadily towards Harry. The crocodile skin caught Harry’s eyes first, followed by the engraved golden initials of “PBG”, and Harry paused. His gun was still raised, although his gaze moved between each person with fury.

“Why the fuck has he got a Scorpion’s gun?”

Taehyung didn’t waver, or cower. From behind his muscles, you noticed that his hands didn’t even shake as he held the gun outwards, a frown on his lips and a small line between his brows. Every-time you moved to see, he would step in front of you, a shield.

Harry seemed agitated at having no answer. “You a Scorpion?”

“No, but I have connections and I know how to use them,” Taehyung replied in a deeper voice than usual. He sounded scary. When had you ever been scared of Kim Taehyung? “Put down the gun and I won’t exercise my skills.”

“Is that a fuckin’ threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

“You’re banding with Scorpions, Namjoon,” the same woman said, her voice elevated and face covered in worry. “Please don’t do this.”

Of course, Taehyung having relations to the Scorpions came as a surprise to Namjoon. It had certainly been something that was left out of conversation. Even though, yes, it was information that Namjoon would have liked to have known before being put in a situation such as this one, he still trusted the both of you wholly. Namjoon stepped once in front of both guns, his arms in a T pose, forcing both gunners to stand down.

“I trust them,” Namjoon repeated, pleading to the woman you still didn’t know. You never would. “Please. We’re not begging you to come. But we’re leaving. Please...please. Let us go, please.”

From across the room, the woman lowered her head. Her hair fell in front of her eyes, feathering against her eyelashes and she eventually looked back up, turning to Harry with a sour expression.

“Let ‘em go.”

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