#probably after i get home from work and have a change to organise them

[emilky-whim]

Folklore Legacy Challenge

Hey Ya'll! I've been working on this one for a little while and I can't wait to share it with you! It's a 16 + 1 generation legacy challenge for the Sims 4 based off of Taylor Swifts album Folklore! There aren't many solid rules for this one, I mostly just want ya'll to have fun and play it in a way that makes sense to you. That being said: - Mods and cheats are ok to use (I even encourage it). - Each Gen must have at least one child to play as the next heir. - I have used lots of packs in making this, you will need: City Living, Cats and Dogs, High School Years, Get Together, Crystal Creations, For Rent, Outdoor Retreat, Island Living, Dream Home Decorator, Parenthood, Discover University, Dine Out, Stranger Ville, Get Famous, Spa Day, Growing Together + more that I've probably forgotten. - If you do not have the required packs, feel free to change what you need to as long as it is somewhat similar to the original.

Gen 1: The One

You’re a meticulous gardener with a penchant for perfection, fiercely loyal to your craft and to your loved ones. Despite your somewhat snobbish tendencies, you dedicate yourself to finding true love, and when that journey ends, you never REALLY get over it. Yet you continue to cherish your familial bliss and vibrant social life.

Career - Gardener (Either Branch)

Traits - Perfectionist, Loyal, Snob

Aspiration - Curator 

Complete the soulmate aspiration with only one sim. Your sims permanently ‘separate’ once the aspiration is complete.

Always accept invites/calls from other sims.

Adopt at least one child.

 ‘’ = You may separate them as you choose.

Gen 2: Cardigan

You're a charismatic politician, oozing self-assurance and intellect, always in the know. As a Renaissance Sim, mastering myriad skills comes naturally to you. Amidst your political pursuits, you find time for youthful adventures, savouring bar dates, maybe one day you’ll finally settle down with a cherished companion.

Career - Politician (Charity Organiser)

Traits - Self-Assured, Genius, Insider

Aspiration - Renaissance Sim

Master all the skills needed for the politician career. 

Go on at least 5 bar dates as a young adult.

Eventually marry a childhood friend.

Gen 3: The Last Great American Dynasty 

You're a devoted stay-at-home parent, balancing material desires with a deep love for family and furry companions. Despite setbacks like a failed marriage and neighbourhood feuds, you find solace in nurturing your family and friends, building a home filled with love, even amidst domestic changes.

Career - Stay At Home Parent (You can work any career until you parent a child)

Traits - Materialistic, Dog-Lover, Family-Oriented

Aspiration - Mansion Baron

Have one failed marriage.

Become enemies with at least one neighbour.

Have your first child as a newly aged up young adult.

Move in with friends for at least one year.

Gen 4: Exile

In the world of espionage, you've always stood out. While others excel in covert ops, you thrive in building connections. Romantic at heart, yet socially awkward, you're drawn to leading, seeking solace in your club's camaraderie. After heartbreak, you relocate, shying from commitment but embracing your chosen family.

Career - Secret Agent (Diamond Agent)

Traits - Romantic, Socially Awkward, Gloomy

Aspiration - Leader Of The Pack

Create and lead your own club. Become friends with all the members.

After a major breakup, move to a different world.

Never get married or stay in a long-term relationship.

Gen 5: My Tears Ricochet

Amidst canvases and clay, you've always preferred solitude to the bustle of social affairs. As a critic, you explore the depths of creativity, while crafting jewellery and crystals on the side. Despite your artistic fervour, relationships falter, leaving you to nurture your creative progenies and seek solace in your craft.

Career - Critic (Arts Critic)

Traits - Loner, Creative, Art Lover 

Aspiration - Crystal Crafter 

Have a side business selling Jewelry and Crystals.

Get left OR leave someone at the altar.

Have at least 4 children.

Gen 6: Mirrorball

In the spotlight's embrace, you dazzle as an entertainer, with moves that mesmerise and demands that rival divas. Behind the glamour lies a heart yearning for connection, seeking solace in fleeting affairs. As you master the arts of song and stage, you flit from home to home, craving new experiences and relationships to fulfil your insatiable appetite for life.

Career - Entertainer (Musician)

Traits - Dance Machine, High Maintenance, Generous 

Aspiration - Friend Of The World 

Have a secret love affair, with whom you’ll eventually marry.

Master the singing, piano and acting skills. Never master any other skills.

Live with at least 3 different sims over your lifetime. 

Gen 7: Seven

Beneath the stars, you find your playground, a whimsical astronaut drawn to the great unknown. Childhood antics linger as you escape the mundane, running away with a friend to explore the world. Haunted houses hold no fear for you, just another adventure in your quest for outdoor thrills. With each holiday, you uncover new wonders, embracing the vastness of the universe.

Career - Astronaut (Space Ranger)

Traits - Childish, Loves Outdoors, Good

Aspiration - Outdoor Enthusiast 

Run away from home as a teenager with a friend/s

Live in a haunted house. 

Go on a holiday seven times over your lifetime. 

Gen 8: August

In the vibrant world of social media, you craft narratives with precision, driven by ambition and a hint of envy for the spotlight. Amidst beachside dreams, you seek solace in Sulani's embrace, drawn to its sun-kissed shores. An affair with a married sim sparks passion, leading to a child and an obsession, anchoring you to the idyllic island life, forsaking love for the serenity of the sea.

Career - Social Media (Public Relations)

Traits - Jealous, Ambitious, Neat

Aspiration - Beach Life

Have an affair with a married sim you meet while on vacation.

Have at least one child with the married sim.

Live in Sulani for most, if not all, of your lifetime.

Never date again after your affair ends.

Gen 9: This Is Me Trying

Driven by a desire to transform spaces, you carve your niche in the world of interior design, fueled by ambition yet shadowed by melancholy. As a youth, you flee, severing ties to forge a path of your own. Love finds you in the arms of a cheerful soul, grounding you upon your return, where you rebuild bridges and strive to be the ultimate caregiver to your children, overcoming personal demons along the way.

Career - Interior Decorator 

Traits - Ambitious, Overachiever, Gloomy 

Aspiration - Super Parent

Move away as a teenager/young adult and lose most of your sims relationships.

Get married to a Cheerful sim. 

Move back as a young adult/adult and re-make all the relationships you lost.

BONUS (Only if you have the Basemental Drugs MOD) Become addicted to at least one substance and successfully complete rehabilitation for it.

Gen 10: Illicit Affairs

In the courtroom's halls, you weave tales of justice as a private attorney. Driven by wanderlust and a fear of commitment, marriage comes swiftly, but it's the thrill of forbidden affairs that ignites your passion. Caught in multiple webs of deceit, divorce looms, leading you to Henford-on-Bagley, where you navigate the complexities of parenthood alone, seeking solace in the quiet countryside.

Career - Law (Private Attorney)

Traits - Non-Committal, Advenutrist, Clumsy

Aspiration - Serial Romantic

Get married young and have at least 4 affairs before getting caught. 

Have at least one child through an affair.

Get divorced 

Move to Henford-on-Bagley to raise all your children by yourself.

Gen 11: Invisible String

You always dreamed of sizzling pans and crafting culinary delights, a romantic at heart with a green thumb to match. Love's journey takes unexpected turns—a tumultuous romance with a mean spirit, a dance of uncertainty with a lifelong friend. As the years pass, you find your soulmate as an elder, nurturing both your restaurant empire, a family and a thriving garden.

Career - Own your own restaurant (or multiple restaurants)

Traits - Romantic, Good, Green Friend

Aspiration - Soulmate

Be in a long-term relationship with a mean sim and eventually break up.

Have a ‘will they, won’t they’ type of relationship with a life-long friend sim.

Get married as an Elder.

Have a well-maintained garden.

Have all restaurants at 5 stars.

Gen 11: Mad Woman

Betrayed in your youth by those you trusted the most, you harbour scars deep as loyalty binds you to your cause. You ascend the ranks of the criminal underworld, fueled by anger and an unyielding pursuit of justice and vengeance. Marriage offers solace, yet the thirst for retribution remains, driving you relentlessly until old age grants the serenity you seek.

Career - Criminal (Boss)

Traits - Hot-Headed, Perfectionist, Loyal 

Aspiration - Seeker of Secrets

As a teenager, have an ex friend/friend group/lover ruin your reputation/life.

Spend the rest of your adult life trying to get revenge.

Marry a friend. 

Only find peace/let go as an elder.

Gen 12: Epiphany 

Straight out of high school to the covert operations of the military, you excel, driven by duty and a longing to provide for your family. Medals adorn your chest, earned through dedication and sacrifice. Love finds you in the arms of a medical professional, but shadows linger, as memories of battle haunt your days, a silent reminder of the price of service.

Career - Military (Covert Operator)

Traits - Overachiever, Family-Oriented, Good

Aspiration - Big Happy Family

Join the military immediately after finishing highschool.

Retire/quit your job as soon as you earn all available medals.

Date and marry sim with the medical career.

Live with PTSD (you can use a mod for this)

Gen 14: Betty 

Your high school romance blossoms into marriage, yet jealousy festers, leading to a massive indiscretion that fractures the trust you’ve built. Amidst the wreckage, you strive to mend what's broken, seeking solace in weekly garden dates as you navigate the rocky terrain of love. In the digital realm, you thrive as a freelancer, coding with confidence and a hint of cringe-worthy humour.

Career - Freelancer (Programmer)

Traits - Cringe, Jealous, Self-Assured

Aspiration - Joke Star

Marry your high school sweetheart. 

Have weekly dates in your back garden.

Have an affair for an extended period of time before being caught. 

Spend the rest of your life trying to heal the connection between you and your spouse. 

Gen 15: Peace

Unable to make friends, you shed the burden of high school to focus on working toward your dream job and pursue the limelight. Amidst the glittering lights of fame, you still struggle to find your place and people in the world. Eventually, love finds you in the presence of an outgoing spirit, but as stardom ascends, so does the weight of its demands, testing your quest for inner peace amidst the chaos of stardom.

Career - Actor

Traits - Socially Awkward, Creative, Squeamish

Aspiration - Inner Peace

Dropout of high school and work a part time job to earn money.

Master the acting career.

Master the acting and wellness skills.

Marry an outgoing, good sim.

Become a Global Superstar and struggle with the price of fame.

Gen 16: Hoax

Born amidst the urban hustle of San Myshuno, your artistic soul yearns for expression amidst the city's chaos. Love's path proves rocky, a journey of unfulfilled connections and shattered dreams. Seeking solace in a fresh start, you depart the city's embrace, yet the ghost of past loves haunts your brushstrokes, forever captured in the vivid hues of your yearning canvases.

Career -  Painter (Master Of The Real)

Traits - Gloomy, Vegetarian, Generous

Aspiration - Painter Extraordinaire 

Grow up in San Myshuno.

Be in a long-term, unfilling relationship with sim you have bad compatibility with. Eventually break up.

Have a failed relationship with a family friend. 

Move out of San Myshuno to get a fresh start. 

Never get over one of your previous relationships and spend the rest of your life yearning to have it back.

(Bonus) Gen 17: The Lakes

Amidst the rustle of leaves and the whisper of pages, you find your muse as a writer, enchanted by the dance of words and the embrace of nature. Poetry flows from you, a testament to your romantic soul. Holidays are cherished escapes, moments of tranquillity by the water's edge, fueling your creative spirit. Yet, it's in solitude that your greatest works are born, a testament to your dedication to the craft.

Career - Writer (Author)

Traits - Romantic, Bookworm, Loves Outdoors

Aspiration - Bestselling Author

Only write poetry (unless specified for the aspiration)

Go on Holiday with your spouse and family often, staying as close to a body of water as you can get.

Complete the gemstone collection.

Leave the world behind for a period of time to focus on writing (completely alone)

[taleasnewastime]

All that remains | Part 1

[ PART THREE TO GROWING PAINS ]

Summary: You betrayed them all, acted on your own selfishness; will Jimin ever forgive you?

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: Unrequited love; brothers’ best friend; slow burn; mafia au; angst

Word count: 7.4k

Warnings: Angsty feelings, unrequited feelings, mentions of death, blood, depression, mentions of a slight alcohol problem, drinking alcohol, feelings of being alone and isolated

Authors note: Sorry this has taken so long, and thank you for sticking around and waiting for this. Not as long as others in the series but there is more to come! Possibly a slow start but I promise that there is lots more to come and things will start heating up in no time. Part 2 won't take as long!!

Masterlist | Next

THREE MONTHS AND TWELVE DAYS LATER

The cold hits you as you exit the café. Turning, you lock the door, checking you’ve remembered to turn all the lights off. You managed to get this job not long after everything fell apart, climbing up to assistant manager quickly. It’s not your dream job, not the best pay and you could definitely get something better, but the job isn’t stressful, you don’t mind the people, it pays the bills and it’s all you need right now. You don’t want to lose this job because you forgot to turn the lights off.

The evening is dark. Beams of light coming from the streetlights. The weather’s turning cold, but you’re thankful it’s not raining like it does seemingly every day recently. It’s reflecting your mood. Dark, moody, just generally down. There are few days at the moment when you feel happy.

It’s been months since the police raid, tipped off by you with enough solid evidence to bring the organisation down. Months since your brother got locked away. Months since your whole life changed. Months since you betrayed everyone who raised you.

It’s just you and Jungkook now. The two of you supporting yourselves. In the same city just in a different part to the house you were raised in. The two of you barely scrapping by.

Oh, and Jimin.

Not working, hardly talking and barely showing his face. You and Jungkook working to support three, like some dysfunctional family. You’re struggling, only just keeping your heads above water. The flat you live in is old and cold, just enough space to squeeze the three of you in. On the sixth floor of a building with no elevator. Your neighbour’s people who the government have forgotten. People living on the margins, with little education and hardly any income, people just trying to survive like you, many of them people you’d avoid at all cost, as dangerous as people you’d meet in the gang only now you hold no status.

You take a breath when you get to the bottom of the steps to your building, mentally preparing for the six flights of steps to come and the lonely flat after that. The damp, the cold, the loneliness, hardly things to look forward to. You hate it, but it’s all you can afford and for the roof it provides you’re happy enough.

“Hello?” You call out into the quiet flat getting no reply.

Unsurprising, though you wonder if you truly are home alone. Jungkook will be out at work, either the personal trainer job or working security at a new club in town. Jimin will probably be holed up in his room doing you don’t know what.

You sigh as you head to the kitchen, routing through the freezer for something to heat up. There are only a few things to eat, nothing exciting but you’re too tired to cook anything.

Life isn’t any better, it’s not any easier, it’s not sunshine and rainbows. Your plan worked. Now you just need to try and get on with life. You knew this would be the outcome, you didn’t expect a life of luxury, you just didn’t quite expect this. The quietness. The monotonous days. The barely scraping by. The loneliness.

It’s been months since everything went down. Months since you ratted to the police, used your leverage in the gang to bring them down. You backstabbed them all, just like they did to you all those years ago. And while your plan paid off, you got what you wanted, you don’t feel complete satisfaction.

It was never something you planned. Or at least you never sat down and plotted it all out. The idea itself manifested over the years, grew from a simple conversation. It was never something you thought you’d do, more a fantasy than reality.

It was Jungkook’s idea originally. A seed he planted in your mind that grew the more distance you had, the longer you had to think it over.

You felt so alone, for so long and then Jungkook appeared. Seeped into your life so thoroughly that you no longer felt as lonely. You’d never trusted anyone enough to tell them your story, but for some reason Jungkook was different. Maybe it was because he was from a similar background, maybe it was because he made you feel less alone or maybe it was just as simple as him listening to you. Whatever it was, piece by piece, it all started to come out of you. Slowly at first, and then one night when you’d had a little bit too much to drink, all at once.

It was Jungkook that planted the seed, a mere comment about how he heard a company going down because of a whistle-blower. The CEO was bullying its staff, guilt tripping them into staying later than they should and never being happy with the outcome of work. Not comparable to your gang or situation at all. But it was that comment that blossomed everything.

For months that turned into years you mulled over the thought. Whistle-blower. Someone on the inside who knows everything that’s going on and reports it. Reports wrongdoings. Can take down the company with mere words.

Your bitterness rotted over time to hatred which quickly turned to vengeance. The fact you had little contact with anyone only made it worse. Sure, it was your father who instigated it, but you’d have thought there would be one person on your side. And even though your brother contacted you, it was so infrequent with so little information that it felt like he needn’t have bothered. It felt like he was doing it as another job, contacting you because he had to not because he wanted to. You resented him; for having it all, for not helping you, for letting you leave, for not standing up to your father.

Whistle-blower. A much nicer word than grass, snitch or rat. Just a word, but a word that made you think maybe you could do it.

You knew so much. And yet part of you knew you’d never do it.

And then you got the call, your father was dead.

Even as you flew back home, the thought still in your mind, you didn’t think you’d go through with it. The funeral was cold, everyone avoiding you as if you were infected. Your meeting with Yoongi didn’t make you feel any better. He wanted proof, wanted you to show he could trust you as if everything you had done up until that point wasn’t enough. Your whole life was to appease them, everything you did was to make them happy. And it was then that you realised that nothing you could do would be good enough. Even if you gave Yoongi proof you doubted he would ever truly welcome you into the family.

Hearing Jimin scream about wanting you out only sealed the deal. If they didn’t want you, you’d show them where they could stick it, show them how strong you could be.

You knew they would be arrogant enough to think you’d want back in, that you’d do anything if it meant you’d get your place alongside them. All you needed to do was play along. Because who wouldn’t want to be part of what they had? No matter how they treated you, no matter how you grew, they’d always think your feelings would remain the same.

But you did grow, you did change. And you realised Jimin was right. The gang wasn’t what you dreamed it was. It wasn’t your family, it wasn’t the only option you had. It didn’t want you. And now you didn’t want it.

Jungkook did most of the work because you weren’t stupid enough to be meeting the police when you were supposed to be looking into your father’s death. He did other things when he drifted off in the mornings on his own, but a lot of the time he was feeding information and planning how best to raid the gang. It was you who suggested that if you found out who the killer was you could line it all up, get the confrontation to be in a place the police could surround.

You knew it was a risk, had been told by everyone who knew what you were doing that it was a risk. They wouldn’t be able to get them all and even if they did, they wouldn’t charge them all. People would know it was you or would be able to connect the dots given long enough. It was a risk to your life and yet you still decided to do it.

After it all went down, the police gave you protection for a bit. Helped get you onto your feet, some money so you could afford a small but relatively safe flat and a rotation of plain clothed officers outside. But when weeks went by with no threats they were quick to decide it was a waste of their money and resources and you were safe. Sure, you helped them, you were key in them getting the evidence to bring the gang down. But the deal was always two sided, they always knew that there was something in it for you, even if that was some sick satisfaction in bringing down your own family.

Is it worse that you did all of this because of revenge, or would it have been worse if you’d been paid off by the police to do it?

And now it’s all done.

But was it worth it? All you have now is a crappy flat you share with Jungkook who you hardly see and Jimin who actively avoids you. A job that barely gets you by. A brother in jail because you put him there. A guilt that will stay with you forever.

No family, barely any friends. You’ve never felt so lonely.

Eyes still half closed from sleep; you look up to wish Jungkook a good morning. Only when you look up it’s not Jungkook you see.

The clattering and movement you heard was Jimin. The guy that lives with you but that you’ve only seen in passing or heard through walls in the past month. Now stood in front of you. Just like you he’s stood staring back at you, only rather than the shock and spark of joy you feel in seeing him, he only looks mildly annoyed back at you.

“Hi,” you say after a long pause, voice breathy even as you try to act normal.

He doesn’t reply, just stares at you for a second more before twisting to look back at the coffee he was making.

Ok, you think, taking a breath before you walk further into the room. The joy still remains, just a little dampened.

“Did you want food with that?” You ask. “I brought some pastries home yesterday from the café. They’re in the bread bin.”

You’re not even sure Jimin’s aware you work in a café, that that’s the wage that’s keeping you all a float, or at least is with the help of Jungkook. And now, Jimin doesn’t say anything or do anything to suggest he cares. His back muscles tense below his top, his shoulders hunched and his face looking resolutely down at the coffee machine.

Deciding he’s not going to give you anything else you move to the bread bin of your own accord. You know he hates you, know he’s probably wishing he weren’t here right now, but he is and you’re not going to let the opportunity pass.

“Well, I’m going to have one,” you mutter, still putting fake happiness into your tone as if to try and prove that this situation isn’t bothering you.

Your eyes keep flicking to Jimin when he’s no longer in your direct line of site. You can still hear him making the coffee and yet you’re worried he’ll disappear into thin air. You can’t blame him for the way he’s acting, part of you is annoyed at him, still hates him and yet you’re worried about him. It’s not good for him to be cooped up for so long, it’s not normal nor healthy. And yet you can’t get him to even look at you.

You wish Jungkook were here. He’d know what to do or say. And maybe Jimin would talk to him.

Pulling two plates out, you place a pastry on each. Awkwardly you turn and place one of them between you and Jimin. It’s not close to him, he’ll have to reach out and get it if he wants it. Worse than that, you imagine, is that he’ll have to turn back in your direction.

Sighing, the happiness getting harder to keep hold of, you decide that it’s not worth sticking around for. He doesn’t want you here. If you can give him anything, then at least you can do that.

“I’ll just,” you mutter, pausing only for a second before grabbing your plate and shuffling to the door. Words you want to say get lodged in your throat and you have to force yourself not to look back at him.

Maybe he is better off without you.

“The usual?”

A smile threatens to lift on the man’s lips. “Do I come here that often?”

“I think the question should be, am I that predictable?”

The man chuckles, his eyes dancing away from you before coming back when he’s controlled the noise. “Well, I already know the answer to that.”

“Black coffee and a croissant then?”

He hums, his eyes going to the counter which holds all the cakes as you start to type in his order.

“Which is your favourite?”

You pause and look at him, he waits with that same smile on his lips. You find your own eyes going to the cakes. No one’s asked that before, no one’s particularly interested in you. Sure, customers ask you questions and take an interest but there’s something about this guy. It’s not weird, just … different.

“Uh,” you pause, trying to keep the smile on your lips. “I like the lemon drizzle.”

He smiles at you, again not weird but something about it makes you uneasy. Especially when he just smiles and doesn’t say anything. You put it down to be an odd customer, maybe he’s lonely. Or maybe it’s you. So unused to someone being interested in you that you’re putting the blame on him rather than on yourself.

He moves to the end of the counter and watches as you prepare his coffee and then pick out a croissant.

“Here you go,” you plaster a smile on your lips as you hand over his coffee and pastry.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he says, eyes darting to your name badge and back.

You heart stutters as you watch him leave. Just a harmless man but you always read into things since leaving. Everyone you meet knows who you are, everyone who looks at you the wrong way wants you dead. Despite leaving the gang in your past, you can’t help but still live that way. Always defensive, always thinking the worst in people. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to shake it off.

“I have an idea,” Jungkook says it casually, but you can hear the note of edge in his voice. He’s expecting you to ask what the idea is but when you don’t enquire he’s forced to carry on. “So, uh, Colin at work mentioned that Ed might be leaving because his ex-contacted him, the one that moved to Scotland, and they were asking if –” Jungkook cuts himself off when he sees your face, realising he’s giving too much detail and not getting to the point. “Anyway, Ed’s leaving so I mentioned to my manager that I might know someone who’d be good for the job.”

You still don’t speak, you think you know what he’s saying from this, but you want to hear him spell it out. For a few seconds there’s a stalemate of silence, Jungkook not wanting to spell it out, you not wanting to assume.

“He needs to get out of the house, he needs to do something,” he’s finally turned to look at you, giving you his full attention.

“You don’t need to plead with me,” you say earning an eye roll. “He’s not going to take it.”

There’s a pause and when Jungkook talks his tone is hesitant, “but, you’ll still ask?”

You can read the meaning behind the words, you caused this, you need to sort it out. There’s no way to argue with that. You did create this mess and you dragged Jungkook into it. He’s at least done something to try and help out. It sounds like you have to do the rest.

“We can’t keep living like this. Only the two of us supporting all three of us. Only just scraping by. He needs to pull his –”

“I get it,” you cut him off. Gritting your teeth, you force your lips into a smile as you narrow your eyes at him. “I’ll ask.”

Jungkook waits, sizes you up as if he can read whether you’re going to do it or not. You’re not sure when your relationship became like this, stilted, forced. Maybe in the gaps between seeing each other. Or maybe when you dragged him over here just to blow everything up. Or maybe it was when he felt the expectation not to leave you, to stay with you and help you through this mess, ruining his own life as well as your own.

You miss him. But just like everything else in your life right now, you don’t know what to do to get him back. You can barely keep your own head above water, how are you supposed to think of anything else?

Taking a small breath, loosening your face so you’re not so tense, you say in a voice that’s more certain, “I’ll ask him.”

Jungkook’s features soften the same way yours do. He nods before walking towards you.

“He’ll come around,” he says, hand going to your shoulder and squeezing gently. “I’ll see you later.”

You swallow, nod even though he’s not looking at you and then mutter, “have a nice day.”

You don’t want to do this. Really don’t want to do this.

It’s just a door. All you have to do is reach a hand out, form a fist and knock. Simple. But it’s who might come to the door that terrifies you, what they might do when they answer the door, or more what they won’t do.

Taking a breath, you knock on the door.

You hear the footsteps, your heart pounding to the same beat they walk. It doesn’t take long for the door to open, Jimin stood staring expectantly at you. Voice caught in your throat it’s him that breaks the silence.

“Want a squash?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just brushes past you leaving you standing outside his door. Heart still pounding, blood swirling in your ears you take a second before following. Jimin’s already pouring an inch of squash into a pint glass when you get to the kitchen, no sight of a glass for you.

Stood like a spare part you watch Jimin’s back as he fills his glass with water and then takes a long gulp. Feeling awkward and conscious that you left this conversation until the last possible moment before you need to go to work, you head to the fridge. Almost unseeing you pick out the first thing your fingers land on.

Hip leaning on the counter, Jimin’s dark eyes follow you as you walk around the room, first for a plate, then for a chair at the small breakfast bar that couples as the only place to eat in the flat.

“You wanted to tell me something?” He asks the second you take your first bite of food.

Chewing slowly, you mull over the words while also not wanting to give him too much time to walk out and not speak to you again. It’s the first time it’s occurred to you that maybe Jimin already knows what this is about. It’s a small flat, the walls not exactly thick and you and Jungkook weren’t being careful to stop him overhearing the other day. The fact he might already know what you’re about to suggest only makes you more nervous.

“Jungkook mentioned there’s a job going at his place,” you speak to your food rather than Jimin but when he doesn’t reply you flick your eyes to look up at him.

The glass of squash is empty on the counter next to him. His arms crossed against his chest. His face still broody and eyes half lidded looking at you. You fight the urge to look away from him. There was once a time you took down a whole gang. You can take on Jimin.

“The hours aren’t ideal, but the pays ok,” your voice comes out steady, you’ve always been good at hiding your true feelings behind a mask of indifference. “Jungkook thinks he can get it for you, but he wanted to ask –”

“So why didn’t he?”

It surprises you, makes your heart ache a little how flatly he says it. Still, you hold yourself together. “Because he’s at work. He asked me to pass the message on.”

He hums, a short, unimpressed noise. A noise that makes you twist to take another bite of food. It tastes like sand in your mouth.

“Would you just say it?” You mutter, the ache caused by your heart making you hot headed. You look back at Jimin seeing it’s his time to be surprised. “You clearly have stuff you want to say. So would you just say it already?”

It doesn’t take much convincing. You can see one of his fingers tapping on his crossed arms, his jaw tight.

“You betrayed us, Y/N, why would I ever trust you again?”

“I betrayed you? Jimin, you were the one who always said you wanted out. I got you out.”

“At the cost of my best friend? At the cost of the people who I classed as my family losing everything? At the cost of me losing everything? You think I wanted that?”

It hurts and you don’t point out that he hasn’t lost you, that surely that’s something; because clearly it’s not. Clenching your teeth, you just focus on not showing him your emotions. You didn’t expect your decision to be popular, but you could have let him go down with the rest of them, you thought that would have amounted to something, you thought that would have confirmed some of your feelings you had for him were still there.

“You betrayed your own family, Y/N,” he’s looking at you as if he doesn’t recognise you and it breaks you that much more.

You didn’t want to fight with him. You expected him to be angry with you, to say things that upset you, you just thought you’d be able to take it better than you are. But it all hits you. The emotions long bottled inside you finally come crashing out.

“My family?” You bite, frowning at the words, your hurt boiling down into frustration. “What family, Jimin? Tell me when they ever treated me like family? Was it when they forced me out, or when they refused to welcome me back? Maybe it was when they failed to recognise the fact that even as a woman I could do as much as them?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t reply verbally. It tells you everything. He has no argument against anything you’ve just said. And yet he still defends them.

“I’m not expecting a thank you. I don’t expect you to necessarily forgive me, but come on, you need to move on at some point. I’m doing all of this, giving you a home, the least you can do is contribute a little.” Or just leave, you add in your head.

A nerve ticks in his jaw. Despite his words and the way he now looks at you, you still feel hope. He doesn’t have anywhere to go, but if he hated you that much he could have left by now. He’s not contributing anything to this household, but at least he’s still here.

Still, you worry about him. Despite your words, you don’t want him to leave. You hardly see him, and yet if he wasn’t here you think that would be your breaking point.

“Let me know what you want to do about the job,” you sigh the words as you stand from the table.

Taking the bowl to the sink you place it with the rest of the dirty dishes, knowing you’ll have to clean them later but not having the energy to do it now. With Jungkook working two jobs and Jimin clearly not wanting to be here it always falls on you. You try and not let it get to you but sometimes you wonder if all of this was a mistake. Maybe you should have stayed away. Maybe you should never have come back.

As you turn to leave Jimin speaks, stopping you.

“There’s just one thing I keep wondering,” you wait for him to say it, your features hard so as not to betray your feelings. “Why did you come back for me? Why did you get me out?”

Your focus is on the door rather than him. You’ve been expecting this, not least because you’ve been questioning it yourself. Even Jungkook brings it up at any opportunity he can.

“Because you wanted out,” you say and before you can think better of it, carry on. “And honestly, Jimin, at this point if you don’t know why, then you clearly don’t know me at all.”

Before he can come back with anything you carry on towards the door. You’ve got things you need to be doing, even if Jimin doesn’t, you’re trying to get back into a normal life.

“Let me know if you want that job.”

Your life becomes monotonous. A drag of waking up early to clean the flat, heading off to work and doing long shifts, coming home to a quiet house that is mess of dishes and clothes again, a storm left behind in Jungkook and Jimin’s wake. You don’t berate Jungkook, he’s doing so much for you that you can tolerate cleaning up after him. But some days that thought doesn’t make it any easier. You couldn’t complain to Jimin if you wanted to, still hardly ever see him.

It’s lonely, boring, a life you never thought you’d have. And yet here you are.

You carry on going only because of Jungkook and Jimin. Though you never see them, you feel like you’re why they’re here. If you hate this, then they surely hate it. You caused this, the least you could is not abandon them.

Slowly, you open up to people at work. Enough that you can have small conversations with them on breaks, but not enough that they know anything significant about you. They’re still more co-workers than friends. But it’s nice to have people in your life to talk to even if it is mainly about the weather and their lives.

It’s repetitive. Boring. Lonely. And you start to find the only thing that helps is a glass of wine in the evenings. Not much, but even the small amount of alcohol helps take the edge off. It helps your mind become quieter, helps the day feel less long, helps you actually look forward to something. It helps your heart stop aching. Helps you drift off to sleep a little easier.

“So, uh, I have to tell you something.”

“What?” You ask as you shove the jam covered slice of toast into your mouth, only half listening to Jungkook as you pour a cup of tea.

“Can you sit for a minute?”

“I have to get to the shop for opening.”

“Y/N,” he doesn’t say it sharply, but the tone he uses is still enough to get you to look at him. “It’ll only take a minute. Please, will you just sit?”

It does its job, you finally stop long enough to look at him. You hadn’t realised just how nervous he was. He’s holding it together but you can see it in his tense shoulders and stiff posture. Your nerves peak as you place your toast on a plate and stop pouring your tea. You don’t rush to sit down, your mind whirling with thoughts of what he could possibly be about to tell you.

“You’re worrying me,” you say when Jungkook doesn’t immediately spit it out.

“It’s nothing. Well, it’s not. But it’s good.”

“Ok?”

He pauses, the silence only increasing the sick feeling in your stomach, only increasing the amount of thoughts swimming around your head. You’re about to tell him to hurry up but he beats you to it.

“I met someone,” he rushes to say. “A girl. And she’s asking me to move in with her.”

A wave of emotions run over you. Surprise, since when did that happen? Anger, because moving in with someone is a big thing, which means he must have been hiding this from you for a while. Hurt, that he didn’t talk to you, that he hid this from you. And a sad happiness for him. Because although he looks worried you can see the hope and desire there, he wants your approval for this but worries you won’t give it.

“Who is she?”

“A girl I met at work.”

“And you know her well enough to be moving in together?”

He’s flushed but keeps a straight face. “I met her my first day, but we only started dating a few months ago.”

Months. Your heart drops with the information. Because he never told you about it, because he has more of a life than you, because it only solidifies how lonely you are. He’s your family and he’s only telling you about his girlfriend, someone he likes enough to be moving in with, months after they met. You once would have been the first person he told. He once would have been too excited to keep the information from you. You once would have been too observant for him to even try and hide something like this from you.

And just like that, more walls of your life crumble around you.

Heart beating in your throat you try not to show him your emotions. It’s been easy to hide how depressed you’ve felt recently from him, more because you hardly see him, but you’re also a master at hiding behind a mask. Now, you have to turn away from him to hide your face, a sure fire way to tell him just how you feel.

Predictably, you hear him take a step in your direction, “it won’t change –”

“I know,” you curse your tight throat as another give away.

“I’ll come back all the time,” he adds. “I can still help you with bills.”

“Don’t be stupid,” you say before taking a deep breath and looking back at him, forcing a smile onto your lips. “I’m happy for you.”

He doesn’t look convinced. But before he can continue to protest you carry on.

“You don’t need my permission.”

“But I’d like it,” he says, slipping into your old roles. “There’s not enough room for me here and we can’t all live here together forever. But I also don’t want to leave you here. I know you’re struggling but we all need to move on from what’s happened.”

Move on from the mess you made. Move on from the betrayal. If everything had gone to plan you would have moved on, or at least Jungkook would have. Jimin would have been behind bars. You would have been on your own wallowing the same way you are now. Maybe there was a small part of you that hoped you’d be able to move on too, to make something of yourself, to start a new life. But a large part of you knew this would be your life. You at least imagined you’d be able to pretend, push your thoughts down deep, try to not think of your brother and Jimin locked up all day, of Jungkook moving on.

Jungkook has only stuck around so long because you changed plans, because you went back for Jimin. Jungkook deserves to go live his life.

“You think leaving me and Jimin here alone is a good thing?” You feel guilty as soon as you say the words.

He shrugs, avoids your eyes as he says, “maybe it’ll help bring you closer.”

You glare at him. “He barely leaves his room.”

“Maybe you should force him out a bit more.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

You regret the words instantly, but even though Jungkook has time to flash you a cheeky smile, you don’t have time to interrupt him before he says, “I can think of several things that you could do to get Jimin out of that room.”

“Gross,” you say flatly, pushing past him. “If you’re saying all of this to get me to tell you to leave, it’s working.”

There’s a small chuckle behind you, but there’s no smile on your lips now. Your heart still thumps in your throat.

You’re happy for him, really you are. It’s just sad. You can’t help but feel like everyone’s slipping away from you.

It’s no good, with Jungkook gone it fixes nothing between you and Jimin.

Jungkook visits still but it’s not the same. While he’s getting on with his life, creating something new, you’re still stuck. In a different place, under different circumstances but going nowhere. And now you don’t have anyone.

You grow lonelier. Hardly seeing anyone besides the people at work. Inside your own head more only makes things worse. Gives you time to remember how things used to be, how different it is now. It makes you remember the smiles. Because life wasn’t always bad, there were good times.

And you ruined it all.

You brought this on you. You couldn’t get over the fact your family didn’t want you and you destroyed it for everyone. There’s no pretending that there wasn’t good from it, that you were helping people as much as ruining many people’s lives. But it was selfish, you did it all for you. And now you can’t help but wonder if it was worth it.

To be in this tiny flat, barely getting by. With Jungkook moved out and moving on. Hardly seeing Jimin, the little you do he says little and avoids your gaze. Your brother in jail. You have no one.

And still you get up every day. Still you clean and cook and go to work. You try to carry on with your life as best you can. Try to push the bad thoughts away. Try and pretend life is normal.

Jimin’s door is open when you get home. It feels like slow motion as you walk to the door frame and creak open the door and peer in. Empty.

This is it, you think, he’s finally left me.

Your eyes glance around the small room. A single bed, blue sheets crisp and neatly tucked in. Cream shades pulled down over the window to block the night out. A wooden chest of draws leaving enough room to shuffle between it and the bed. A small desk, only big enough for a lamp and laptop. No personality. No indication of who lives here. No attachment, ready to be left at the drop of a hat.

He wouldn’t leave, would he? Part of you thinks he would. But the other part thinks of his room, all of his stuff still sat in there and thinks he wouldn’t leave without it. Another part hopes he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

Maybe he’s just gone out, the first time you’ve caught him doing that, you expect because he only ever risks leaving his room when he knows he won’t see you. But Jungkook text you earlier letting you know Jimin finally accepted the job, so maybe this is the start of him getting back into himself.

You know it’s your insecurities talking. Because though you don’t doubt Jimin doesn’t wants to be here, you also know he has nowhere else to go. He doesn’t have the money from his job yet, he’s still having to rely on you.

You walk back to the kitchen, get as far as opening the fridge to see what you can find to eat for tea. But you stop there. A thought occurs to you.

It’s stupid really. He’s probably just gone out for food or to the pub. But you can’t stop thinking about it when the thought occurs.

What if he’s on the roof?

He won’t be. And even if he is what would that mean? That he wanted some fresh air probably. But he won’t even be there.

You take a box of leftovers out of the fridge walk over and place it by the microwave but get no further.

What if he’s on the roof?

The thought takes you over enough that you end up forgetting about food and instead head to the front door again. You don’t even put your coat on as you head up the stairs rather than down them. You feel a little out of breath when you reach the steel door at the top. Pausing you take a breath, try to wrangle your thumping heart into a box, settle your expectations so that you won’t be disappointed.

The door feels cold as you push it open. Your heart plumets when you first see empty space, but then soars when you see a figure huddled off to the side. You can’t stop the words escaping your mouth.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

Jimin looks across at you, his eyes are heavy and make him look like he’s had little sleep. His smile is small and compared to his normal smile does nothing to light up his face. But it’s still a smile.

“It’s not quite the same as our roof.”

Our roof. The words make your breath catch in your throat. Looking out at the night to hide your emotions at the words you walk towards him until you can rest on the ledge next to him.

“The views not as good,” you agree after a few seconds of silence.

He hums in reply, a silence falling over the two of you. It’s not just the view that’s different, it’s everything. The silence eats at you in a way it never has before when you’ve been with Jimin. He’s lost his spark and you can’t help but blame yourself for that. You’ve changed his life, whether or not it’s for the better you made such a monumental decision on his behalf without considering how it might affect him. While you’re in no doubt he would have done the same for you, you can’t help but let the decision eat away at you. Should you have done it? Would it be better if you hadn’t dragged him away under false pretence? Would it be easier for him to hate you if he wasn’t sat next to you?

“Jungkook told me you’d accepted the job at the club,” you say meekly, not wanting to rock the boat too much. “I’m happy for you.”

Jimin doesn’t respond, doesn’t hum or nod like he normally does when you talk to him these days. And like always you try and pretend it doesn’t hurt you.

“And hey, maybe it’ll mean you can start paying towards the bills.”

As soon as the words leave your lips you regret them. Even though you say them in a light-hearted tone, clearly as a joke, you know Jimin won’t hear it that way. He’s probably thinking that you mean it, that you want him to give you money, that you want him gone. All of which is the opposite of what you want.

“Sorry I –”

“No,” he cuts you off with a mutter. “You’re right, I should be doing more.”

Well shit.

That was the last thing you expected him to say, which effectively stops your brain from coming up with any other words.

The two of you stand in silence looking out at the city. The noise of the road and some young people shouting and laughing reaches you from the street below. Part of you hates this, but another part doesn’t want to do anything to stop it. At least Jimin’s here. At least you’re not entirely alone. At least you’re not fighting.

“I went to see Yoongi.”

Your head snaps his way. When did he do that? How had he done that? The questions forms in your head but your mouth is unable to create the words. Jimin doesn’t look at you, his features not showing any emotions. He’s impossible to read. But, despite your silence, he must know what questions you want to ask as he goes on to answer them all.

“I found out where they locked him up and requested visitation. I wasn’t expecting it to be accepted, I thought the second they had him they’d throw away the key. It took a few weeks, but my request was accepted.”

Your breath becomes laboured. Your brain working faster than Jimin can get the words out, trying to second guess what he’s going to say.

In the pause after his words he finally turns to look at you. His eyes dart around your face as if trying to remember you. You wait, give him time to say whatever it is he’s thinking. Your heart hoping, but your mind reminding you how much you’ve hoped in the past and how every time Jimin’s let you down.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Now it’s you avoiding his face. The words, the way he says them and the gentle yet pained look on his face makes your throat dry. You can’t answer him. You don’t know what he wants you to say, because even if you had an answer, you don’t know how it would make it better.

“You let me think this whole time you’d locked him up,” he carries on. “But you made a plea deal for him.”

It’s not a question but you still find yourself nodding in confirmation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He repeats.

“I wasn’t sure he’d accept the deal,” you say, not the real answer. After a beat you add, “would it have changed anything?”

“Maybe,” he mutters but you know it’s a lie. It wouldn’t have changed anything, it’s one of the reasons you never said anything.

The silence drags out. Both of you staring out at the world below you, cars honking, people getting on with their lives, buildings standing steady and tall. The world hasn’t changed, it’s still going on. It doesn’t provide any comfort. All these weeks you’ve been struggling, silently getting on with life and Jimin’s been seeing Yoongi and clinging onto your old life, blaming you for everything.

You’ve had enough of it.

“You know,” you say, ignoring the fact that your voice his raspy and full of emotion. “It still hurts that you don’t believe in me. It’s stupid, because you’d think I’d be used to it by now, but you really have a knack for making be me believe you. I could have told you about Yoongi, but would that have changed anything? You’re only saying all this because you feel guilty, but you’ve always thought the bare minimum of me until I’ve proved the opposite. I’ve always had to work for your approval, Jimin, no matter what you want to think. And it’s stupid, but it still breaks me when you automatically think the worst of me. After everything I’ve done to show you the opposite.” You pause, still unable to look at Jimin, unable to see what he must be thinking. “I didn’t know he would accept it,” you mutter, voice once again thick. “I set up the option for him to work with the police, but I didn’t think he’d actually take it.”

You push away from the wall and as you walk away Jimin doesn’t try to stop you. His head twists to look back out across the city, his body slumping a little deeper into the wall as you turn to walk back to the flat.

[thirdtidemouse]

i have to do more bc she isnt rly brought to life yet.. she will change a LOT... but this is dylan :-] (hammarlund? underhill?) i couldn't not do a hilda oc and i couldnt not make it a nervous werewolf. she stresses herself out but is surprisingly organised about cooking, one of the famously stressful activities. she spends a full day planning out a meal, cooking for herself and kaisa (thank god. that nerd cannot cook) and then asks for detailed reviews.

she is very stressed out about being a werewolf though. she has just finished being a teenager and this is kind of that all over again. she does not want ANYONE to find out and confides reluctantly only in kaisa. what she fears is people fearing her, and she feels like the moment her life has been pieced back together again, she's losing grip, again. it's almost a black hound situation when the people of trolberg hear about a werewolf sneaking around. some episode centred around the mystery ensues.

she likes food + music! although she's more of an amateur at music, she owns + plays a guitar, a mandolin, a banjo, and a harmonica. very folksy. she has a swedish-welsh accent. try and imagine it please.

the default sister dynamic is kaisa getting home from work late (she probably lives in a flat in/around the library), and dylan being in the midst of homemade ravioli or something with a sauce that took 6 hours. kaisa asks about her day to be polite. dylan tells her about the sauce that took 6 hours, a long hike, 3 different invasive plant species, a lot of butter, and the use of powertools. kaisa has been re-shelving niche history of magic books but got so caught up re-reading them that it also took up 6 hours. when they have eaten dylan asks for her opinion and scribes the whole thing down in her notebook as kaisa voices her 5 star yelp review. they do not ask anything else about each others days and interact mainly through dylan slow-motion fake-punching kaisa while she is trying to just hang out in the living room or do her work and is ignored. only when she is in a very good mood will kaisa fake-punch back. dylan has a lethal case of younger-sister-that-is-taller syndrome.

sorry for my handwriting but the vague outline of her backstory WHICH MAY PROBABLY CHANGE is:

from the time she was 8 and kaisa was 21, they lived alone together. kaisa became a full-fledged witch between then and age 25, when suspicion against witches was on the rise for a short while - dylan never became a witch, but the only trusted adults in her life (basically kaisa and tildy) were, and they decided it would be best for her to grow up somewhere less troublesome. they were both pretty messed up about her having to move away, dylan holding some kind of spite toward her sister for a while, and kaisa feeling incapable, guilty and ill-equipped to take care of her.

she went to school in wales at 12, living with as-yet-unspecified family members/friends, and while kaisa almost immediately regretted sending her away, dylan adjusted quickly and spent the rest of her school career there. after a few years she forgave kaisa, because she ultimately enjoys her life, but she is stilll missed at home. at 17 going on 18 she became a werewolf (whether she was bitten or it was always in her somewhere?) and four months later she finished sixth form and called kaisa out of the blue asking if she could come and move in. since they didn't live in trolberg before, she's new to the city.

i will write more cohesively about her relationships to other characters/flesh her out more later, ESPECIALLY the werewolf stuff, but now i have to go to bed. thank you for reading :-] feel free to ask/suggest anything about her!! i love discussing hilda ocs

by the way this is i think my first ever actual OC? i've made up others before but they've just been single designs i've never really thought much about their actual selves because i suck at writing. dylan is the first one thats really stuck. part of her is based off myself and people i know, most of her is not. the main similarity between us is double-denim.

this is fun though. critique is welcome

(obviously her werewolf self is a swedish elkhound. i know the design kind of just looks like a furry im working on it)

[treason-and-plot]

“I need to cut off all contact with you.”

This sentence burrows into Roy’s consciousness like a scabies mite under the surface of his skin. Only five seconds ago the day had been bright and fun and full of excitement and promise, but now that sentence has stolen all the light out of the world and irrevocably altered his DNA.  The shadows around the rose bushes grown darker and darker, and the hole in his heart grows bigger.  “I need to cut off all contact with you.”

“You’ll still see the kids, of course,” says Sonia. “That won’t change. Violet can drop them off to you, or you can come and get them from her.  It shouldn’t be too hard to organise if we’re adult about it. I know that we’ll probably have to have a few meetings to iron out the details. But after that we really do have to have a clean break, Roy. I need time to heal and to mourn the end of my marriage. It’s the only way I can get better and move on. Do you understand? Do you understand how important this is for my wellbeing?"

Roy understands that the day is in danger of going to shit, and his skin is starting to feel grimy and his eyelids itchy. He bolsters himself by remembering the bag in his pants pocket. What is it Sonia’s saying? She needs time to heal and to mourn the end of her marriage. What the fuck does that mean? Their marriage is only ended on paper, they can all still live together as a happy family. That’s what he came here to tell her, she doesn’t have to mourn anything! He has the solution. He always has the solution. Sonia of all people should know that!

“Listen, hon, I’m really sorry that you feel….that you feel all those things,” he says. “But we don’t need to cut off contact with each other. You don’t need to mourn anything either! I still love you, hon, and I know you love me too. Sorry, Violet, that’s just the way it is. That’s the real reason Sonia’s had a breakdown, she couldn’t deal with the fact that I fell in love with someone else. Pure and simple. Don’t look at me like that honey, we both know it’s true. All that therapy jargon can go fuck itself. You’re jealous of Anya. End of story. But you don’t need to be, hon! Just listen to what I have to say.  I had this brilliant idea that we all live together in the marital home. All of us. You and Violet and me and Anya and the kids. The house is big enough, and the kids would be ecstatic. And you could get to know Anya and you’d realise what a beautiful person she is, inside and out. We can do it! We can make it work, hon! What do you say? Are you in?"

[blu-joons]

When You Tell Him That You Need A Hug ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

The sound of the door unlocking brought you up from the sofa straight away, watching as Jin walked through the front door. “I need a hug,” you warned him straight away, letting him know what mood you were in.

Jin only had time to close the front door before he felt your frame resting in against his. “I thought you were coming over to hug me because you’re happy to see me.”

You hummed in agreement as you made yourself comfortable, “I’m happy to see you too, but I’ve just been thinking about your hugs especially a lot today.”

“Are they that good?” Jin proudly asked as he placed his hands against your lower back, knowing that that was the spot you liked for him to hold the most whenever he hugged you.

“They’re alright,” you couldn’t help but joke with him, despite the frown that was on your face, and the tired look in your eyes.

“I could get used to coming home to this,” Jin laughed in an attempt to brighten up your mood, “can you be here everyday?”

“If I could, I’d love to be here with you.”

Yoongi:

The smile on your face was the widest it had been all day as you walked into the studio and saw Yoongi waiting for you. “I need a hug from you,” you laughed, outstretching your arms for Yoongi to walk into.

His smile was just as wide as your own as he happily walked across and into your arms. “Please don’t tell me you’ve had as busy a day as I’ve had, otherwise we’re in trouble.”

Your head nodded as arms wrapped around you, head resting against Yoongi’s shoulder. “Maybe we should compete and see who has  had the worst day between us.”

“We could be here all night,” Yoongi sniggered as he propped his head up against the top of yours. “But just so you know, it’s an argument that I would definitely win after today.”

“You’re not challenging me, are you?” You teased, tilting your head back so that you were able to look up and see Yoongi properly.

“I don’t really fancy being in this studio all night,” Yoongi shrugged, “I’d much prefer to be hugging you in the comfort of home.”

“I definitely can’t argue with that one.”

Hoseok:

Your bottom lip was already quivering, but as Hobi asked you what was wrong you finally found yourself crumbling. “I just need a hug,” you whimpered, trying your best to hold back the tears that threatened.

Hobi moved across to you straight away, worried that he was the one that had set you off. “It’s alright,” he whispered, opting not to push and find out what was wrong.

Your head nodded as your grip around the material of his shirt nearly tore it from his body. “Sorry,” you whispered, knowing your tears were dampening his shirt too.”

“Don’t apologise,” Hobi quickly reassured you, placing the gentlest of kisses against the top of your head. “Sometimes we all need a few moments and a good cry on someone’s shoulder too.”

“It’s just been a lot,” you explained, unable to say anymore as you felt your breath hitch and your body beginning to lose strength.

“I’ve got you,” Hobi told you, scooping you up as soon as he felt your knees buckling and your weight drooping in his hold.

“Thank you for always holding me up.”

Namjoon:

A hand on your shoulder brought a faint smile to your face, glancing up at Namjoon’s inquisitive expression. “Do you think you could give me a hug? I feel like I need one right now?” You politely asked Namjoon.

Without saying a word he sat down, snaking his arms tightly around your waist. “What’s been going on with you lately? You’ve not been yourself for a while.”

Your shoulders shrugged as your head rested against Namjoon’s chest. “I guess I’ve just been feeling a little lonely, everyone seems to have plans, except for me.”

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon whispered, berating himself as he did so for not realising what had brought on the change in your mood that he had noticed. “I’m probably one of those people, aren’t I?”

“You're busy with the boys,” you reminded him, “I can’t expect you to constantly organise your time with them to work around me too.”

“I promise that we can do more together,” Namjoon confidently insisted, “no matter what it takes, I’ll make more time for us.”

“It’s not just you, but thank you Namjoon.”

Jimin:

Narrowed eyes looked across at you as you told Jimin that there was one final thing that you wanted from him for your birthday. “I need a hug, and then I know for sure that my birthday will definitely be complete.”

His head shook as he feared the worst, not expecting something so simple from you. “You scared me then, I thought I’d forgotten something major to get you.”

Your head shook with Jimin’s as he took a step closer towards you, “I just want a hug from you so I can say thank you for organising such a great birthday for me.”

“Come here,” he smirked, placing his hand against the small of your back and bringing you in towards him. “This hug might be the easiest present I’ve had to find you for your birthday this year.”

“You asked for a list of things I wanted,” you reminded him, “you can’t be mad at me for giving you the answers to the questions you had.”

“Never have I met someone so particular for their birthday,” Jimin smirked at you, “next year you can just get more of these.”

“Hey, I’m not one to turn down any free hugs.”

Taehyung:

A smirk shone on Taehyung’s face as he watched you edging closer and closer towards him along the sofa. “I need a hug,” you whispered as you met his sceptical eyes, “you have no idea how cold I am right now.”

After waiting a few moments to tease you, Taehyung leant across and pulled you down against his chest. “How are you cold? We’re nearing the spring now.”

Your shoulders shrugged as Taehyung’s limbs wrapped around you tightly to try and warm you up. “I hate the fact that I feel the cold so much, it’s so unfair on me.”

“There is one plus side to it though you know,” Taehyung tried to reason, “because you get cold so often it gives you more of an excuse to lay here with me and get some hugs from me.”

“That’s very true,” you giggled, unable to hold back your laughter, “although I think that you would hug me anyway, you adore me too much.”

“Is that so?” Taehyung teased once again, loosening his grip around you, “I can let go and leave you to freeze if you want.”

“No, you have to stay here and hug me now.”

Jungkook:

A soft smile appeared on Jungkook’s face as he watched you stand up from your desk, turning around to look at him. “Can I have a hug?” You immediately asked him, feeling yourself beginning to get overwhelmed.

His head nodded straight away as Jungkook made his way across to you, “I hope you’re not working yourself too hard, I told you earlier to be careful Y/N.”

Your arms wrapped around his frame as soon as Jungkook was close enough to you. “I’m trying my best but there’s so many things to be done, and so little time.”

“It’s alright,” he assured you as you began to hurry your speech along, resting his hands against your back. “Just take a few deep breaths whilst you’re here with me and I promise you’ll be alright.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled against the material of Jungkook’s shirt, “being here is exactly what I need after doing all of that work for my boss.”

“We can stay here for as long as you need,” Jungkook smiled down at you, “you know that I’ll never turn down a hug too.”

“You’re even more of a hugger than me.”

---

Masterlist

[lucy90712]

Pedri- Messy

WC: 2.2k

I thought moving in with Pedri would be great we spent so much time together that it just made sense to officially move in together. I was always at his during the day and barely even slept at my place so it felt stupid paying the rent to only be there for a few hours a week. I thought it would be a simple transition as I thought I knew pretty much everything there is to know about Pedri but I was wrong. Turns out Pedri has been hiding the fact that he's actually a complete mess most of the time. He must have actually bothered to put things away or tidy when I was just visiting but now I've moved in he's stopped that and the place is a constant mess.

Everyday I come home from work and spend at least an hour washing dishes or picking up Pedri's training kit that he's just leaves all over the place. Today is my day off and usually I would do things I like to do such as go to the gym, read a book or catch up on my favourite shows but today I had to clean. I've been doing loads of overtime this week as I had a big deadline so I haven't been able to do the tidying I would do each day and now the whole house is a mess to the point that I can't stand to look at it any longer. It was hard to know where to even begin but after walking around to get ready I decided the best way forward was to start with all of my things and then work through each room.

Over the course of the day I went round and tidied then deep cleaned each room as the place was very much in need of it. It took me all day I was at it from when Pedri left for training to when he came back after meetings and other filming he had to do. By the time I was done my back and arms were hurting from the constant bending down and scrubbing. As much as it was hard work it felt so good to have it done and see all my hard work pay off as the house was truly spotless for probably the first time since Pedri moved in.

Just as I finished putting away all my cleaning supplies the door opened and Pedri came in and put his bag on the floor to come and give me a hug and a few kisses which were much appreciated. After greeting me he headed upstairs to change taking his bag with him but leaving his shoes and his boots in the middle of the entrance which any other day might not bother me but today annoyed me a bit. I put them where they are supposed to be and then headed upstairs myself to go and change as I had got a bit sweaty from cleaning. When I got to our bedroom I almost had a heart attack as yet again Pedri's stuff was everywhere and he had messed up everything I had organised neatly on his side of the room. Although it really wasn't that big of a deal it physically hurt to see everything that I had done all day be ruined in a matter of minutes. I could feel anger bubbling up inside of me as not only did Pedri not acknowledge that I had even cleaned the place he just went and made it a mess again expecting me to clean it up at some point like I'm some sort of maid and not his girlfriend.

"Baby can you put this stuff away please?" I asked him as nicely as I could as I entered the room

He completely ignored me and kept looking through his draws for something specific. The longer he ignored me the angrier I got but I didn't want to start an argument so I turned away to try and calm myself down until he actually spoke.

"Why do you always do this where the fuck have you put everything" he yelled

"Woah don't yell at me what are you looking for?" I asked angrily

"It doesn't even matter why are you so obsessed with putting everything in a certain place I hate it just leave my stuff where it is" he continued to yell

"But the place is a constant mess Pedri I can't live like that I cleaned this entire place today and all you do is come home and mess it up" I argued

"Well if you didn't hide all my stuff then the place wouldn't be such a mess" he retorted

"But it would be I'm the only one who ever picks anything up don't tell me you haven't noticed the state of the place this week when I've been too busy to clean I have turned into your maid Pedri not your girlfriend" I said

"I never asked you to do it so don't complain to me about it" he said

We were only going to keep fighting and getting angrier until we both said things we would regret so I decided to just walk out. On my way out I grabbed my phone and keys before just sitting in my car trying to decide where to go while thinking about everything that just happened. In the end I decided to go to Gavi's place as the two of us are really close plus he should be home. Along the way I calmed down so I wasn't so angry anymore instead my anger turned into sadness as I felt tears brimming in my eyes. Pedri and I never argue so when we do it always feels awful and now we have moved in together I worry about us drifting apart and eventually splitting up.

By the time I actually made it to Gavi's the tears had started falling even though it's only a short journey. Before actually going to the door I tried to wipe the ears from my face and hide the redness as I know Gavi will worry if I turn up crying but it didn't really work. When I actually knocked on the door I started to hope Gavi wasn't in. I mean why did I choose to to go to Pedri's best friends place after an argument we might be close but there's no way he'd take my side and even if he did I don't want to ruin their friendship. Before I could turn around and get back in my car the door opened and Gavi looked at me for a second before pulling me straight into a hug. When he pulled away he led me inside and sat down next to me on the sofa in silence for a few moments before starting to speak.

"What did he do?" Gavi asked

"Nothing we just had an argument and I needed to go somewhere before it went too far" I lied

"Now I know that's a lie you wouldn't be so upset if it was just an argument" he said

"Fine since we moved in together I noticed that Pedri never cleans up anything and usually I do it but this week I've been so busy with work that it all built up so today I deep cleaned everything and then when Pedri came home he just made a complete mess of everything I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me making an effort to keep the place clean" I ranted

"So he's being an asshole just like I expected" Gavi joked

"Yeah I guess so" I replied

"Look Pedri can be annoying but trust me he loves and appreciates you he is just very set in his ways and clearly having the place be a mess is one of them over time he will change I promise but in the meantime you have to get used to messy Pedri" he explained

"Thanks Gavi hearing that makes me feel better" I said

Pedri's POV

I was arguing with y/n when it just went quiet so I stopped what I was doing to find her as she never usually just walks away without saying anything. Just as I was about to head downstairs to see if she was down there I heard the front door shut which meant she had really just left in the middle of a fight. It made me more angry that she would just leave and not try and work through this as we never fight but when we do she always makes sure we don't stay angry at each other. As I thought about it more instead of staying angry I felt really bad especially when I went back into the bedroom and saw how much of a mess it was.

Y/n has spent her day off cleaning instead of doing what she wants and I can't even keep it tidy for more than 5 minutes. I know I'm not the tidiest person in the world and I always just leave things places but I always know where everything is but y/n has always been very neat and likes things to have their place. Before we moved in together I used to actually clean a bit more as I wanted to make her feel comfortable staying with me but since she has officially moved in I stopped trying and went back to my old ways. I have noticed that each day when I come home the place is cleaner than when I left which doesn't happen magically so y/n spends her free time doing that even though I know cleaning isn't her favourite thing to do.

Of course I had to go and start an argument just because I was in a bad mood and couldn't find what I wanted. I just feel awful that I shouted at her for something that's really my own fault after she put in all that work all day. All I wanted was to tell her how sorry I was but she left for a reason so I know I need to give her some time to calm down before I either wait for her to come home or go and find her. To really show her how sorry I am instead of just saying it I decided that I would actually tidy my things and organise them so that I can put them away and still know where they are to make the both of us happy.

It took a while but eventually everything was put away so I ran downstairs to head out and find y/n to apologise. I would wait for her to come home but I can't wait any longer before I apologise and make things better. It didn't take long for me to work out where she had gone as out of everywhere she could go when she's upset she would go to a friends and one of her closest friends is Gavi. Just to be sure I text Gavi to ask him if y/n was there before I headed there to see her.

Your POV

Gavi and I played video games together as that was he was doing before I arrived until someone knocked on his door so he got up to answer it. I didn't look over until I heard a familiar voice and I knew exactly who it was but I still turned around to check and of course it was Pedri. He looked at me before coming over and sitting next to me; he tried to put his arm around me but I moved away not wanting him to touch me until we talked things through. There was silence for a few minutes as we sat alone after Gavi left us to talk.

"I'm really sorry love" Pedri said breaking the silence

"Do you understand why I was even mad in the first place?" I asked

"I do and I'm really sorry I shouldn't leave you to clean everything and I should've appreciated everything you have done today on your day off" he said

"I'm just really used to living on my own and being able to leave things where I want that I didn't think about changing that when you moved in and I'm sorry from now on I promise I will try and be tidier and we will share out the chores so it's not just you doing them" he added

"Thank you babe I appreciate that I just wanted you to understand that I don't want to do everything only for it to be a mess the next day" I explained

"I understand that now as soon as you left I felt awful and I cleaned everything up and organised my things so I know where they all are so the place will be tidier from now on" he said

We made up and decided to move on from the argument and just both do better at communicating from now on. He went to pull me in and this time I allowed it so he hugged me tightly and gave me a few kisses before picking me up so we could go back home. I tried to tell him that I took my car but he just said that we would worry about it tomorrow so I gave up trying to tell him and just let him bring me home. We both said goodbye to Gavi before Pedri drove us home where Pedri made dinner and we watched my favourite show which usually Pedri hates for the rest of the evening. He also made an effort to keep things tidy throughout the evening which made me happy that he finally understood that the place isn't just his anymore.

[suckerforcate]

Can I request a drunk reader on New Year and getting all flirty and dancing around with Larissa <3

That’s me now

Dance Floor

Pairing: Larissa Weems x Reader

Word Count: 706

Warning: alcohol

A/n: So I pushed this a little forward to not post this days after New Year, hope you like it!

It wasn't long until the clock would strike twelve o'clock and the year would be over. Honestly this had been the best year of your life. You had started to work your dream job, found your passion in helping the kids, found amazing friends and fell in love. That last bit did cause a few problems, as it was your boss, but you felt that she might like you too.

You had never talked about the matter, but there was some kind of unresolved tension between you. A good sort of tension. Larissa was flirting constantly, and you showered her with presents. You knew her favourite flowers and always brought her new ones. If you happened to go to Jericho, you always brought her coffee order. That was just the difference between you, she was flirty and open, you were shy and sweet.

But that was the rule for sober (Y/n). Drunken you was a whole different story. You could get unusually bold. Very bold.

-----------------------

It was New Year's Eve and Larissa had organised a staff party for everyone who was still in Nevermore. Some of your colleague had gone home over the holiday, but most stayed. The evening had been an absolute delight. The food was amazing. Your friend and colleague Aden put on the music, and he hit exactly your taste in music. And the alcohol was exquisite, maybe you did have a little too much of that. But who cares? It's a party.

You were enjoying yourselves, dancing and laughing together. But as you spun, your eyes landed on Larissa. She stood at the side of the dance floor observing the rest. You knew she probably chose to not dance, but it stung your heart as it felt like she was being left out. That needed change, fast.

You boldly approached her and, taking her hand, pulled her with you onto the dance floor. That worked surprisingly easy, but that was probably just because she hadn't expected you to drag her. Normally she was much stronger than you.

"(Y/n), can I ask, what do you think you are doing?" She raised an eyebrow at you, standing in the middle of the floor, making no effort to dance.

"You looked so alone. You should be integrated! Also, I really want to dance with you." You smirked at her and laid your hand on her waist. For a second she stiffened but as you started moving to the music she slowly relaxed and even started moving too.

"Move your hips, come on. It'll look bomb." You gently forced her hips to swing some more with your hands. And to your surprise she obeyed. It did indeed look bomb.

Larissa pulled you closer, your bodies pressed against one another and leaned down a little. Her mouth right next to your ear, she whispered: "Do you like that, Darling. Seeing me swing my hips for you?" She put on a flirtatious, even seductive tone. It made your knees weak and for a moment you felt like you would cave in, but Larissa's arms held you. She let out a deep, breathy laugh at that. God, everything about her was just so hot.

You tuned around, leaning your back against her and pulling her hands up to your front. You perfectly bend into the curve of her body, pushing your ass into her, while still swaying your hips. You heard a low moan right next to your ear, that made you smirk. Her hands wandered up a little until they stopped right on top your breasts. Her hands were covered by the hem of your jacket, so she got even bolder and started kneading them lightly. You let your head fall onto her chest. This must be what heaven feels like, you thought.

You stayed like this, dancing together, fully intertwined with one another until you heard the others around you counting down from ten. The New Year's Countdown.

Larissa turned you to look at her and bend down to nibble on your ear.

"Would you like to be my New Year's kiss?" She pulled back a little as to see your face and right as the countdown went to zero you crashed your lips onto hers.

[spifflocated]

I think, as a Vetinari/Drumknott shipper, The Last Hero has the potential to be the most beautifully heartbreaking book for them in the whole Discworld, despite the fact that Drumknott is never even named in it.

Some spoilers under the cut, though the biggest spoiler is probably that the Discworld series continues afterwards...

The Last Hero follows not long after the Truth (my best guess at the timeline puts it somewhat arbitrarily in the late summer of the same year, not long after Night Watch/ Thief of Time), where Rufus demonstrates the extent of his faith in Vetinari. By the end of the book, their trust in each other is apparent- Drumknott has protected Vetinari's reputation, and Vetinari brings Drumknott with him to The Times' offices, arguably simply as a companion. We see the beginnings of the two of them working together as a unit, in the way which is so much fun to read in Going Postal.

And then The Last Hero arrives, and Vetinari finds himself having to organise an effort to save the world, because essentially no one else can be trusted to get all of the different parties to work together well enough to get things done. And, because the planning and preparation will have to carry on during the sea journey to get there, he has to leave the city. It's a simple choice- if he doesn't go, and it doesn't work, there won't be a city. But if he does go, he's leaving the city at a time of crisis under a temporary governance. And even if the mission succeeds, there's no guarantee that Vetinari will make it back to Ankh Morpork. Worse things, as they say, happen at sea.

Drumknott isn't mentioned in TLH, so it's a fair assumption that he stays in the city. Which brings us to my personal headcanon: Vimes and the guild council are nominally in charge, but essentially Vetinari has left his beloved city in Drumknott's care. Which is a frankly remarkable show of trust, and is one of the reasons I like to envision them established in whatever type of relationship (platonic or not) you prefer to see them in by this point.

And then, think of it from Rufus's perspective. This is not the first time he has had to stay at home while Vetinari sets out on an uncertain mission. In Jingo, Rufus seemed to simply keep his head down- Lord Rust had taken over, after all. But now, he has to wait, and try to stop the city falling into chaos as word spreads of the potential end of the world, and hope against hope that Vetinari will come back to him. He has to stay, and do what he can, and Vetinari has to go. They have to face the end of the world apart, knowing that there is no other choice, because their loyalty is to each other but their duty is to the city. Sometimes I think of Rufus, alone at night, exhausted after a day of fighting fires but unable to sleep with worry for Vetinari, and with no news of if the mission is going to plan, or if it has proved hopeless and the world will end, and they'll never see each other again. And for a man who lives at the centre of Vetinari's web of information to suddenly have no news and no ability to change the outcome, it must have been so hard.

[futfemfantasies]

Welcome Home Soldier \\ niamh charles x reader

Request: For the niamth charles one say reader is In the army and going out with niamth charles and surprises niamth at one of her games and runs into her arms and kisses her Something like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

495 days since you have been home. 495 days since you have touched and kissed your girlfriend Niamh. You got told this morning that you and some of your friends that you would be going home and working on the closest base. You all pack your bags quickly and get on the next charter flight home. After learning that your girlfriend and her team have a home game that same day, you texted your close friend and teammate of Niamh, Sam Kerr, about organising a surprise for Niamh at the game. Sam texted back and said she organised something and to just bring your charming self. You thank Sam and sit back on the plane and try to sleep before heading home.

Meanwhile back in London, Niamh is freaking out. All day you have been ignoring her texts, calls and FaceTime calls. This instantly makes her think the worst has happened to you in Afghanistan. A lone tear falls down her cheek and Niamh wipes it quickly before anyone will notice. Well she was wrong. Sam walks down the aisle of the bus and attempts to comfort the 23 year old. Sam sits with the young player until they reach Stamford Bridge for their game against North London rivals Arsenal.

“I’m sure she’s okay Nia, remember when this happened a few months back and it turned out she had no signal? There’s probably a small sand storm or something” Niamh nods and attempts to focus on the game ahead of them.

The team gets off the bus and walks into the dressing room that is usually occupied by the mens team. Niamh gets changed into her jersey, shorts and pre-match shirt before putting in some earphones and listening to the playlist you sent Niamh for before games to stay calm.

While Niamh is trying not to break down, you quickly unlock the door to your shared apartment to dump your bag and get your car keys. You look around and realised Niamh probably drove to the training ground to catch the bus to Stamford Bridge. You quickly order an Uber and wait outside the apartment complex. When your Uber arrives, you ask him if he can make a pit stop at the florist to get Niamh some flowers. You run into the florist and look around for a few minutes before finding a bunch that you know Niamh would love. You pay for the flowers and run back out to the Uber and head to the stadium. After 30 minutes of small talk with the driver, you thank him and open your phone to rate him, making sure to leave a decent tip for stopping at the florist for you. You give the security guard your name, like Sam instructed, and he escorts you to where you stand until your name is called over the speakers in the stadium.

Around 20 minutes later, you see all the teams walk out and line up around the middle once all the formalities are done. You start to grow nervous as you think this is when you’ll be reuniting with the love of your life.

“Upon her arrival home from active duty with the Armed Forces, please put your hands together for Corporal Y/N Y/L/N”

You start to walk out onto the pitch and you see the stadium giving you a standing ovation. You look in front of you and see Niamh running towards you. You drop the flowers as Niamh jumps into your arms, her arms and legs wrapped around you tightly.

“You’re really here. I’m not dreaming”

“No princess, I’m here for good now. No more trips unless they’re vacations”

You set her back on the ground and pull her into the long awaited kiss. Her lips are just as you remember which makes you smile hard.

“Oh, um, these are for you” You pick up the flowers and hand them to her before realising they’re holding up the start of the game.

“Go out and beat them”

“You know I will, for you” Niamh says cutely before giving you a peck and handing you the flowers to hold.

You go to turn away when you see Emma Hayes gesture for you to come over. You quickly jog over and she offers you a seat next to Jessie, who is another good friend of yours. You two chat until it was half time and you follow the team into the locker room like a lost puppy. You catch up with Niamh and she doesn’t let you go until it was necessary. You pulled her into your lap and played with her fingers while she listened to Emma tell the girls different tactics to come back from a 2-0 score line. You all head out again and you go back to the same seat as before and Jessie comes back next to you.

In the 75th minute, Emma makes a substitution and Jessie is swapped for Niamh. The trainers give her a Gatorade bottle and a puffer jacket and she quickly comes to sit next to me. Niamh quickly intertwines your hands together and leans her head on your shoulder.

“You played so well mi amor. Your goal was amazing” Niamh blushes at the compliment.

“I had to show off a little didn’t I? You haven’t been here in forever”

“Well I’ve got 2 months off so I’m going to be the perfect wag girlfriend” You announce and Niamh laughs before she cuddles into you more.

“I couldn’t ask for nothing more”

The game finishes with Chelsea winning 3 goals to 2, one being for Niamh. Both teams shake each other’s hand before going into their respective locker rooms. You sit on your phone waiting for Niamh to finish so you can go home. When everyone is done, you all walk out to where the bus is and you pull Niamh back a little.

“Can I go on the bus? I’m not a player or a member of staff” You ask Niamh, worried you’re breaking some type of rule.

“You’re fine Y/N now get on that bus before I change my mind” You hear Emma say as she walks past you two. You both laugh and get on the bus behind Sam.

“Hey Sam, thanks for helping me out. I really appreciate it”

“No worries at all, happy to help”

Niamh guides you to her favourite seats and you take your Army jacket off, revealing a tan coloured shirt. You sit down and you cuddle into Niamh just like she did to you in the dugouts. Within 10 minutes of the bus starting to go, you are fast asleep. Niamh gently puts the jacket over your arms and kisses you on the forehead with the lightest of touches.

“Welcome home soldier”

[badbatchenthusiast]

a little realisation i came to today, about living with and coming to terms with having a hidden disability, especially neurodiversity, trauma and/or mental illness:

for the last six months, i have struggled quite a lot. it’s a high-stress time in my life where everything i do counts towards major life decisions, and the main message i’m hearing from the people around me is that i need to give it my all, work as hard as possible, or i’ll regret the opportunities i’ve missed.

needless to say, i haven’t been sleeping particularly well. i’ll go to lessons and then work a 4 hour shift on two, maybe three hours sleep. i’ve been so anxious that knowing i believe i’ll be exhausted the next morning no matter how much i sleep, and the 9hrs i’m set to get by sleeping early won’t be enough still (because life is inherently overwhelming and overstimulating as an autistic person). this makes me stressed about how i’m not sleeping until it’s five in the morning and i can finally relax enough to doze. everything is being impacted; my attendance has been slipping, my tutor is involved. it’s felt like i’ve been getting worse and not better, like life is going to continue going downhill until things i used to find easy — falling asleep, organising my own schedule, keeping my studies balanced with work and a social life — are things i’m finding almost impossible and are taking great effort to maintain at a reasonable standard.

but here’s the thing.

i’m not getting worse.

it feels like i am, because new problems are arising that weren’t there before, but someone i owe a lot to pointed out today that a year or two ago, i would not have been able to express myself. they wouldn’t register as problem areas, i’d just push myself into collapse. i would’ve worked myself into a meltdown instead of walking to the support office and informing them i needed to go home, would’ve been in verbal shutdown or unresponsive or having a panic attack instead of being able to stim and breathe through the overwhelm. today i made a calculated decision, of leaving early instead of sticking out for the rest of the day and probably exhausting myself enough to not be in tomorrow or the day after. and that’s huge.

my autism isn’t ‘improving’ despite me having less of the massive meltdowns or shutdowns that got me diagnosed in the first place. i’m probably more visibly autistic than i’ve ever been. my anxiety hasn’t lessened despite no longer having regular panic attacks.

but i’m catching it earlier. i can identify what’s going on with me before it becomes a crisis, and i’m starting to have the skills to run interventions.

when people say progress isn’t linear, i think this is part of it. i’m not getting worse, i can just see the problem now and put a name to it. the analogy that came to mind was a building, which before i could only tell was fragile when it caved in, is now having the work put it to rebuild properly. but before you can have a nice foundation and solid walls there’ll be a lot of looking around, and realising the concrete is cracked to shit and nothing is reinforced and those spots you never paid attention to are in fact black mould which are eating at your walls. and these are realisations i was not having before because i didn’t know, i didn’t have the tools or the understanding to make sense of it.

my floors are no longer collapsing on me at random. it’s instead a constant series of little things, because i can tell when a pipes burst and deal with it before it floods everything and rots the floors. but this awareness brings with it the feeling that something is wrong all the time. that there are constant little fires to snuff — that things are getting worse, not better. that yes i know how to stop a broken pipe from leaking now but it doesn’t change the situation, which is that the entire system needs swapping out for less rusting parts. it’s easy to get lost in all of this and forget that actually, before, this would’ve been a build up to a crisis and now it’s something i can deal with before it snowballs.

learning to cope and accommodate myself after being told my entire life that i am going to be impressive, that i’m capable of being high achieving in anything i put my mind to, has been rough. i was never going to succeed at the life other people talked about for me; i’m simply not able to work that hard without hurting myself, and honestly i think few people are even without a disability. i don’t want to live life for other people, i want to build something im proud of, for me, designed to make me feel good and comfortable and succeed in a way that makes sense for my ambitions and needs. and both are important; success isn’t out of the picture, i just need to rethink it so it includes being happy and coping with what i find difficult. i won’t lie, it has been a process of mourning someone who never existed, who i never could’ve been. i still resent sometimes the fact that i can’t go back to masking so much no one notices my symptoms.

but i’m improving. steadily and tangibly. it takes work, and at some point it’ll definitely feel like leaving the unstable building in place was preferable to the deconstruction because recreating it all with a healthy and sturdy foundation seems impossible, but it just takes time. you replace one brick at a time.

it gets better, i promise, even if it’s hard to believe. any step forward is progress, no matter how small, until you look back and realise you’ve come an unimaginably long way forward.

[leggerefiore]

Sooo I’ve been thinking nonstop about our twin train boys being /super soft house husbos/ like pls

def did something like this for ingo but nothing like turning him into a malewife

cw: fluff,

▲Househusband Subway Bosses▽

▲Ingo▼

● He's ever so doting. All he wants to do is take care of someone or something, so this aligns with his wants perfectly. (He still needs trains involved somehow, though.) It would probably be a short-lived experience during some time off for an injury, but he would adore the time spent getting to be a househusband. Ingo had quite literally been practising since childhood. Emmet could confirm how annoying his brother could get about making sure he ate and demanding he slow down with his training.

● His focus lies on making sure the apartment is well taken care of and an easy place to unwind. You return home to a scent of a hearty meal wafting around the apartment. Ingo peers out from the kitchen in a slightly stained Litwick print apron. His eyes light up brightly. “Ah, welcome home, dearest! Our dinner is almost ready,” he speaks with an eager tone, “… I was trying something new, so please try it.” He really adores knowing that he is able to help nourish you. There is an obvious smugness on his face as he watches you enjoy his food.

● He really does stay on top of chores, sticking to a strict schedule. Ingo likes an organised plan for things and sticks to it intimately. You can predict what does laundry is done with ease. He often talks to you about what he did while smiling. It is clear he takes these tasks seriously. When you thank him or praise his work, his happiness is plain as day.

● You find yourself laughing when he starts bickering with your building's housewives about the prices of groceries and lack of certain ingredients. They obviously know who he is but seeing him just like them is clearly astounding to them. You joke about him having them over to play a game of bridge. He gave you a look about that and made you burst into laughter.

● He becomes obsessed with preparing you lunches. You are asked what you would like after dinner, and he proceeds to go mad making sure you have the requested item. People will look on in envy at your perfect lunch with a sweet love note tucked inside from him. Even the person who stole your lunch once felt bad when reading Ingo's flowery tangents about how he loved you. They hand it back to you in shame. Calling Ingo about it results in him declaring that he will bring you another one.

● Emmet visits you two and is clearly between laughing and crying that his brother is wandering around in an apron. He was wondering when his brother was going to return to work and sighed at the sight of his brother fully devoting himself to the art of caring for home. Ingo was obviously completely in love with his new turn in life. He does politely ask that Ingo still manage the paperwork and PA system, however, if this change must happen. Ingo agrees.

● He adores spending the evenings in with you, helping you unwind after a long day of work. A bath or shower is for you, he cuddles with you, and then he falls into endless compliments and adorations falling from his mouth. He presses kisses across your face and tries to make you smile. Overall, he tries his hardest to make you happy and keep a schedule.

▽Emmet△

○ Not a good househusband. He nearly burns the house down when he cooks and then cleans, confusingly. Though, he is trying his best. This likely also happened due to an accident making him take time off. His spiders are elated he is spending more time with them, too. Emmet is not much for doing home care activities outside of some light cleaning due to being a neat freak. Ingo usually took care of their laundry and cooking growing up, and before he moved in with you, so it was not something he was accustomed to.

○ You quite often come home to take-out dinners or him being taught a recipe by Ingo (who is monitoring him closely). He smiles and greets you with a tight hug and kiss. A coo leaves him with a “Welcome home” before he draws you to the table to sit with him. Ingo may join if he's there, just to double-check his brother truly made something edible or not. You will likely have a laugh if Ingo ends up gagging. Emmet will just sigh over another failed dish. You can only reassure him it's the thought that matters.

○ Chores are done somewhat routinely, but if he suddenly sees a basket toppling over with laundry or a full trash can, they will be worked on. You just watch him bravely call his older brother and ask how much detergent to use, and Ingo audibly sigh over the call. He then adds exactly what his brother's recommended. The house is kept verrry clean, but Ingo is called often. Complimenting him results in a prideful yet somehow sheepish smile. He adores being thanked and appreciated for his actions.

○ Emmet feels challenged when a young married couple's wife brought over some of their dinner that they made extra of on accident. He takes it with a sweet smile and polite thank you, but you can see the fire burning in his eyes. Ingo is over the next evening to help him make a large meal, so he can take it over to the couple's place. You laugh as he stands in the hallway, politely offering them the food in his messy Joltik apron. They take and have a polite laugh with one another. You sigh as you realise Emmet has found yet another thing to be competitive over.

○ Emmet tries to make lunches. They never end out the best, but he tries. He also writes a note at Ingo's behest, but they end up odd and strange. The younger twin was never the best at expressing his feelings in word. At least the sandwich he put together in a panic minutes before you had to leave for work tastes nice. He's just deeply embarrassed by how it looks. No one at least tries to take your lunch. They fear it. The love Emmet packed into it is impossible for them to receive. Sometimes a Joltik sneaks in, too. They guard the precious meal.

○ Ingo starts to feel like a mother-in-law visiting to make sure her daughter being a good housewife, with how he visits Emmet to make sure he has not accidentally poisoned you with his failure of cooking. They bicker about assorted things, but you can tell Ingo is just disappointed with his shortcomings out house care. When the topic comes up about his return to work, you feel a bit sad but knew it was coming. Emmet is ecstatic to return to his trains and battling, and Ingo clearly appreciates the help from having his brother around. (Emmet later reassures you that is going to keep helping with the chores. Ingo threatened him.)

○ The experience as a househusband, he finds, was helpful to his maturity as a person. He expects when he returns to the work, the image of him as an immature and childish man will disappear with how he has grown. The time spent taking care of the home has taught him a lot, but he does admit he will miss the evenings spent cuddling together while watching a show together and how he was able to dote on you through the night. You might be a little sad for things to return as they were, but, truly, the saddest to see him go are his Joltiks. Their little cries as he heads out the door in his uniform nearly kill you both.

[dailytomlinson]

Hi! If you’ve been wondering “what the fuck is going on?” due to most things being posted with a huge delay or not at all, I just wanna share what’s been up on my end of life. Last year was a rollercoaster on it’s own and towards the end of year, I felt the urge to visit a side of my [exchange student host] family I hadn’t really visit in 7 years (in the U.S.) and we’ve had some losses early in 21/22 and I felt like it was time to take time (and money) to pay them a visit and get to mourn our losses, spread some good ol positivity and love to people that quite literally saved my life when I first moved in, back in 2012. I hadn’t told them I was going to visit during the holidays and 3 days after I bought my flight, my grandmother received the news that the illness she had been feeling all October had a name and a due date: cancer, 3 months max. I was devastated and knew the worse would probably happen over the holidays or right after I left there to come home and I was right. On December 30th, 2 weeks after I got there and had the chance to seat down with her, say a lot of the things I wanted and listen to a lot she had to say, she just... You know. It’s been really emotionally hard for me (well, to our entire family), because I never really got along with my biological family and she embrace me as her own, and been this grandmother figure for me that I desperately needed and when I needed it the most; I was vulnerable, lonely and couldn’t really speak the language, but she treated me as her own from day one and changed my life, changed how I perceived love and family altogether. I left my home there and spent some time travelling because a girl needs a vacation after an intense year. Anyways, that aside, I knew that on my return home, I’d change job titles due new laws and in a good twist, the place I work at decided to let me keep my current job (because I’m ✨too fucking good✨) and I got a second job offer which sent my current boss into a spiral thinking I was going to drop her (LMAO) and etc etc etc, so, all this said, it’s safe to say December/January have been CHAOTIC, with my feelings all over the place and I genuinely haven’t had the time to keep up. It’s just me. Clau @tomlinsun helps when she can and Ingrid, @delicatepointofview, bless her heart, does LITERALLY the most and she’s not even part of the team officially, it’s just her, all my e-mails, passwords and her insomnia against the world. I haven’t stopped caring about Louis, haven’t changed into whatever you clowns seem to think, I just been alive and living. I’m trying to organise my semester ahead so I can have some more time and etc. Louis still means the world to me and this blog was, is and will always be my baby!  That being said, let’s hit the road, hopefully we finally get guitar!Louis this time around! 🎸🎤

[galina]

I hope this ask is not too much. You seem to juggle work, leisure, and internet so effectively. How do you do it so well? Would love to know your tips for organising life/work/time/everything honestly.

putting this below the cut because it got quite long!

not at all! although— I know this gets said again and again but it's worth repeating: you only see a sliver of people's lives on social media, and it's a carefully curated selection of things, so whilst people might seem put together I guarantee they're not and they have ✨ stuff ✨ going on.

ok I used to be a person who had 0 work-life balance because I was doing a "good" job that "helped people" and it was hard to switch off bc people don't stop needing help at 5pm. this led to a super unhealthy situation where I was on call 24/7 and eventually it just completely broke me. I quit the job. I read a few brilliant books around this time which helped:

work won't love you back, sarah jaffe lost in work, amelia hogan replace me, amber hussein losers, josh cohen digital minimalism, cal newport

I stepped back and I took on a totally different kind of job, and with it I also set some major boundaries and made changes. I'm lucky now to be working in a more healthy way, and I always leave on time and stay off work until the next day.

I also started doing offline weekends after I saw melissa holdbrook-akposoe doing them, just a brilliant idea and it instantly frees you up to be present in time off work. it works so well that I'm applying it at other times, like: not after 10pm (I got an alarm clock so I could kick my phone out of the bedroom), not whilst having a meal, and not on my commute to work. before bed & on my commute I take my book, that's the easiest way to avoid getting sucked into pointless scrolling.

being "bored" (i.e. doing nothing) is so good for me, it calms me down so I'm not overstimulated and tired out and gives me more energy to be creative. instead of phone time I can do a drawing, or write, or hang out with friends, or read. I also think it’s good to be selfish and prioritise doing leisure activities over labour (laundry and stuff, I try and do it around my work hours when I work from home).

my mum always says it takes a month to build a habit and I think that's probably true, these things are hard at first but they get easier and easier as you get used to building your lifestyle around it. and it's a non-linear learning curve tbh, I take steps forward and back all the time and we just have to keep trying to do what works for us :)

[sleepingdeath-light]

male s/o hcs ; hinge!submas

requested by ; 🥭 anon (20/05/23) [5/6]

fandom(s) ; pokémon

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; emmet, ingo

outline ; “🥭 anon here! I’m so happy you’re willing to give my Submas request a shot even if it’ll take a while!! ✨ take as much time as you need, because I’m desperate to see content for these sillies and perfection takes time so I can wait~ I’d like to request sfw and nsfw general relationship headcanons for the Submas bros (separate headcanons and poly headcanons) with a male reader If possible!! 👉👈 also I appreciate that you write for male readers I think that’s great!!!!!!!!!!!”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

note ; to state the obvious, the brothers aren’t dating each other they just share an s/o

this is a chaotic relationship to be in at the best of times because of just how different the brothers are

of course they both love you and they’re fond enough of each other, but there are naturally going to be times where they clash (as all siblings do) and you’re going to get caught up in the middle of it all

they most frequently butt heads when it comes down to whose turn it is to spend time with you — as they do have a schedule — because of some random factor or another

they’re just very insistent that they both get an equal amount of your attention and affection, and any indication that you prefer one or the other will lead to an argument

but aside from that your relationship with the brothers is generally very good, with everything running smoothly and being built on a foundation of shared goals and mutual trust and love for one another

for example, the brothers help each other organise and schedule their dates with you — and they always share and compare notes on what new food/show/drink you like afterwards

it’s a well oiled machine because they both love you so deeply and want to be the best boyfriends that they can be

dates are reserved for one of them at a time and date nights involve all three of you

like you could go for a walk (run) around the nearby park with emmet and his team and grab some ice cream along the way

or you could go with ingo to a local cafe to chat about work and your hobbies/interests

but on a date night might involve you being trapped between the brothers whilst watching a film at home, or going out for an evening picnic

(you take turns choosing the activity)

if one of the brothers is ill, you’ll stick at home to take care of them whilst the other covers their shift

most people don’t really get your relationship and will ask your partners stuff along the lines of: ‘aren’t you worried that your boyfriend is cheating on you with your brother?’

they’ll usually get a very bewildered look and a slow ‘no?’ as a response but after the thousandth time of being asked, the two just stopped acknowledging the question altogether

when you’re all out together, you’ll usually have your arm linked with ingo whilst holding emmet’s hand — all of you chatting and joking and doing as couples (throuples?) do

elesa thinks that you’re all absolutely adorable and is your biggest cheerleader (and the one who helps you plan gifts to give to your partners)

she calls you all her boys and loves you all to bits (platonically, of course)

your house is absolutely filled with joltiks and no amount of begging or pleading with emmet will ever convince him to stop bringing them home

you will learn so much about pokémon battles and trains throughout this relationship that you could probably write a full dissertation and some change about either

[motsimages]

Yesterday I watched the Poker Face episode in the retirement home and I think there are details I may be missing (culturally) but others are there to be seen.

Like we have Charlie who is homeless and on the run, who can't work in a place where they'd legally hire her or pay her via bank so she is not tracked, she needs cash only, and she is working as a cleaner or something like that in this fancy retirement home. It says how the retirement home actually works, though.

It looks cool and fancy: there are common areas but the residents have their own room or, even, their own small apartment. There are nurses who constantly pay attention to the residents' vitals, check their medicatoin, etc. It all looks clean and tidy. They organise activities and trips. It feels like a nice place to live. But they don't hire all of their employees and they don't pay them through the legal-official channels. They probably charge a lot to the families or use up all the retirement funds of the people living there to have such a nice place and show off, but not to hire legally the "lowest class" of employees. And they also supervise if their poorer employees are taking stuff from the deceased residents or the lost and found.

Then we have these two old ladies who are assholes to everybody, who think they are cooler than everybody and then we are proven that they actually are assholes. And I mean, they are. But I feel there is also a kind of "change your mind about hippies, they were actually terrorist" vibe to the message of the episode. This is probably where I don't have enough information to know how deep the propaganda goes, BUT: they were criticising the elites, they were after the children of the rich people and they are now living in this retirement home? How? Were they poor themselves? I don't think so.

I doubt this home for the elderly is public or subsidized in any way, and given how unforgiving the US seem in terms of having debt, being a felon, etc. how are they paying for it? They spent years in prison and they still came out to live in an apartment of their own in this retirement home, with fancy clothes and money to cover all of their expenses.

I think they were also well off and they have had money their whole lives, but they thought they were better than the other rich kids because they had a friend who read Marx and told them about it. They even have the attitude of "better than" that many rich people have: they behave as mean girls do in high schools and they don't want to make any effort to make sharing common spaces with other residents confortable for anybody but them (so much for the spirit of communal living of hippies). On top of that, they really believe they can do whatever they want with whichever attitude and get away with it. They are used to being bullies and getting away with it because they're cute (and they have money) and it has been working up until now. They don't even have regret or doubts about the behaviour that they feed each other. They are sure they are right and smart and better.

So yeah, they haven't known real struggle in their whole lives, probably not even in prison because if they have the money I think they have, they have the contacts too. They were violent posers. They seemed cool as opposed to the other residents but Betty, who might have been too much controlling was actually organising activities for everyone, making sure everyone was more or less confortable in the common areas and not afraid of having fun the way she likes it (she bought the silly hat at the zoo for herself and wore it the whole day).

It is an interesting episode on hypocrisy and how things are not what they look like (more than others, this is generally the idea behind many of these señoras que investigan and particularly this series).

I am still surprised at how badly does Charlie read people. She can tell when people lie but she cannot spot a person to avoid if her life depend on it (quite literally, at times).

[samtheacesheep]

Milo Murphy’s Law Masterpost

Hi, I’m Sam! I am a massive Milo Murphy’s Law fan (and dwampyverse in general, but mml especially). I write mml fics, mostly in various aus. I really, really, really like angst, hurt/comfort and whump, but I do also write happy stuff. Sometimes. 

(I’m also so incredibly inactive forever rn I’m so sorry) On tumblr, all of my fics are tagged with: #I wrote a thing 

Any fanart is tagged #I drew a thing

I also sometimes post pictures of miniatures that I paint, tagged: #I painted a thing Masterpost list: 

Non Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/mmlNotAu/works

basically what it says on the tin. Not always canon, exactly, but not an au

Fantasy au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3258273

#mml fantasy au Set in a world with wizards, dragons, sorcerers, ghosts and angst. The main fic in this series is A Cursed Boy, a Wizard and an Human, which is about Zack, a human from the ordinary world, getting trapped in the fantasy world and trying to find his way home.  2nd Dimension Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3133029

#mml 2nd dimension au 

Again, probably pretty self explanatory. Bucketloads of angst, Vanessa is pretty goddamn evil (sorry Nessa, I do love you), Milo is Sad.  Monsters Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3164559

#mml monsters au

whoa it’s angst. In a world where monsters like vampires, oozes and flying rhinos exist, a well respected containment facility thinks that Murphys are monsters. And they do something about it. This au also has a split timeline, and a few oneshots in spinoff aus. Incredibly angsty and painful, read the tags.  Dystopia Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3244065

#mml dystopia au

Milo and co are from the future, while Cavendish and Dakota are from the present. The future is dystopian, the corporation V-Tech controls everything. Melissa is a cyborg. The pnf cast are there.  Mage Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3164697

#mml mage au 

Another fantasy au. This time, magic is illegal, and the punishment for being a mage is a painful death. Milo and Melissa have been raised by their mage parents, while Zack was born to humans and raised in human society to hate mages.

Counteragents: 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3192483

Technically set in ordinary Danville, but far removed enough that it counts. Cavendish and Dakota actually get a pair of counteragents from a rival time travelling organisation- which ends well for nobody.  The counteragents are my villain ocs Sally and Penelope, who are awful, terrible, evil bastards and I love them. Anything with Sally in it on tumblr will be tagged #sally, and “sally is back on her bullshit” on ao3.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/45343870/chapters/114080575 I wrote Cowboys and Counteragents with @hypersonicjd 

It’s a crossover between my Counteragents and his A New Frontier (space cowboys!!) series 

Ghost Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43118494

#mml ghost au

Milo is a ghost who is haunting Zack, but he isn’t very scary.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43696911 This fic is a spin-off oneshot, in which Milo is actually pretty scary. The Loneliest Kid Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46438885

#the loneliest kid au 

Also an ongoing series. Zack joins Jefferson County Middle School, and meets Milo Murphy- who is kind and cheerful, but withdrawn, anxious when too close to people, and firmly opposed to being his friend. Zack is determined to change that. A slowburn friendship fic.  Epithet Jinxed: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39095769

#epithet jinxed 

An Epithet Erased au! Milo, Melissa and Zack get locked in the museum after closing, during a robbery. They have to keep the Arsene Amulet out of the hands of dangerous people, and stop them from stealing Milo’s epithet - Jinx!  BoTT is Evil: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43541854

Again, pretty self explanatory. Currently just a oneshot but I do have a multi-chapter fic in the works to explore the concept more.  Soulmates Au: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40933884

A world where soulmates share injuries, and Milo, Melissa and Zack are platonic soulmates.  Champions Au: 

#mml champions au

Cavendish, Dakota, Savannah and Brick are ancient, powerful immortals. Milo, Zack, Melissa and Mort are their champions, mortals who save the world on their behalf. I haven’t written anything for this au yet