#problem is im not dysphoric enough for it to be like A Medical Problem

[helioshellion]

hi im bucky and welcome to my long list of kiryu and majima headcanons mostly revolving around health related stuff bc that interests me. ive talked about it before but ive been wanting to reveal my mastermind plans for them. ive vaguely alluded to these all in my fics like friday night and phanto. anyways heres a list. may range from mildly nsfw but in a more medical way not a sexual manner since idc about that sort of thing

KIRYU

So for Kiryu he is a trans man who forgets his t injections every day of his life. every time he gets out of prison he has to restart on it and every time he has to go through all the initial stages once again like an evil cycle of hormones.

He has extreme nerve damage in his hands/fingertips due to severe hypothermia suffered at the end of Yakuza 5, and therefore cannot feel in his hands anymore.

Also suffers from a migraine disorder.

He deals with a very prominent compartmentalization problem stirred by his ever-changing life stages. A sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality born out of his fear of losing absolute control over his life. This goes hand-in-hand with general low empathy.

This also results in an extremely flippant attitude towards both sex and romance. He is not committal at all and does not imagine himself settling down. He is a reserved person, but he doesn’t shy away from sex. He lives in Kamurocho, after all. He’s just mostly desensitized and is mostly neutral towards it as he gets older.

 Yes hes bisexual love wins. But he has a low opinion of the men in his life thinking them callous and more difficult than he wants to deal with. This increases with his age and the worse the villains get. He almost has a mentality of needing to Win and Be Won in regards to romance. He must Prove Himself, or someone else must prove themself to Him.

Oh yeah and TMJ sorry to his jaw.

His life is in constant disarray and his self-contained environments reflect this. His living spaces are messes. Ashtrays filled with countless stamped cigarettes and shelves lined with half-eaten food and beer cans. He doesn’t want to be regarded as sloppy but theres something in his brain that makes him struggle with Cleaning his own spaces. There’s something about his mind that likes the control he has TO mess up his own space.

He has several single-tooth partial dentures mostly in his molar area. he has one prosthetic canine tooth.

He is no-op in regards to his transition. T has shrunk his chest enough that it sags loosely. If you’re curious, he’s dry as a desert down there. sorry.

He doesn’t exactly have a circadian rhythm. He sleeps and wakes up whenever he wants, and his brain does not register Night/Day. Meaning he could sleep through an entire day and his brain will not register sunlight. This results in getting him up to be extremely. Extremely difficult.

Big one, he lives with something like CTE. (Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (double parantheses because this condition cannot usually be diagnosed while someone is alive)) Which exemplifies his already present suicidal ideation and depression. Out of anyone in the series Kiryu has taken some of the Worst bodily trauma over a LONG period of time. It has taken a toll on his body and mind.

MAJIMA

Oh boy!

Majima has a hormone imbalance ever since the hole. if you remember in my fic Phanto I alluded to him being completely impotent and sterile due to a castration in the hole. He has gynecomastia and hypothyroidism but has no qualms about it. He’s not dysphoric about it at all, and tries to stay extremely vigilant about his testosterone intake (tgel, needles scare him).

Because of the above he has little to no sex drive, not to mention the extreme trauma relations to it. He has complexes on top of complexes about it. So he just doesn’t do it.

He has a weak right knee, which is the one he uses to kick/attack as he’s able to use his stronger leg as support. His arms and legs are longer than his torso, and he has an extreme slouch, which presents itself as a very permanent slouch crease on his stomach fold.

He has a distrust of men, mostly older than him, and is not a cis man, although he doesn’t have the language to describe himself or his sexuality. He’s old and doesn’t feel the need to.

Blatantly, not even just a Me headcanon, but Majima does have a mentality of needing to be beaten in order to fall in line. In relation to pretty much everything in his life. It’s much stronger the younger he is, and weakens as he gets older, aided by his improving mental state. By 7′s time, and he is an emotionally healthy person. Hiccups are to be expected, but they’re nothing to shame or be ashamed for.

In Dead Souls he discusses needing to keep his hair cut at an exact measurement. He is a massive micromanager in regards to Anything at any given moment. His living arrangements are extremely empty and uncreative.

The younger him was extremely flippant about caring for his eye, which resulted in several infections and close calls. It’s one of the reasons he decides to get his eye exenterated when he’s older. Somewhat of a symbolic thing as he works through his trauma, letting go of this thing that has clung to him, Literally an Infection. He changes things up, and lives happier for it. He wouldn’t have been alive it hadn’t been for Nishida.

He is one of the most intelligent people in the. Yakuza Team or whatever. Regardless of his deteriorating memory issues, he reads like a motherfucker and can beat anyone in almost any mind-game.

This is a byproduct of not considering the Kiwamis (majima everywhere and majima construction) as canon, but my Majima is very heavily inspired by 1, 2, and the movie iterations of Majima. Meaning, he is not a generally “nice” person. He is extremely empathetic, and reads people very well, but he tends to hold these qualities over peoples heads when he’s younger. As he gets older, these qualities shift to more. Altruistic purposes. He isn’t nice, but he is an understanding person.

I also shift the timeline around to place his marriage with Mirei before the events of 0 to allow better, smoother story progression. And I’m not going to handwave away anything he did because oh yeah did he fuck up.

Speaking of relationships, if Majima were to ever, he would be Very Attached. He is monogamous by heart, and is more about mental connections over inherently sexual or romantic. He is a One-and-Done person. He isn’t flippant like Kiryu, and holds an extreme amount of value in loyalty and love. He is not one for more monetary romantic gestures. He values touching a lot more, but discourages touching HIM. He’s stone. He feels love in being the one to touch, and for his partner to Be touched By Him. And I’m not talking about sexual practices or anything. But if that did progress to that, expect similar results.

However, adding to that, he is not going to try to “make things work” in any way. He will walk away if requested, and he will walk away at the inclination of things Just not working out. He jumps to conclusions quickly, but it is for good reason. Knowing when to bow out keeps him alive.

Back to body stuff. He has dentures along his entire bottom jaw. His top teeth are very discolored from smoking, resulting in a visible difference between his top and bottom teeth.

And whatever here’s Kazumaji bullshit too because I am predictable.

They’re more friends than lovers, if that makes sense. Regardless of the amount of love shared between them, their lives are a long string of boats passing by. Their loyalty for each other is extremely strong, and underlying love does carry this, but they can’t exactly settle down anytime soon. Majima talks to him as a confidant, not as a lover, and Kiryu speaks to him the same. It’s almost more intimate in a way. Neither of them put up fronts when they’re alone. They are both private together, speaking to each other ways they’d never speak to anyone else.

If we’re on a scale, Kiryu is the more romantically affectionate one. He’s the one who thinks of dates, who thinks of kissing, who thinks of whatever else. Majima doesn’t initiate any of this due to his before-said complexes on top of complexes.

Yet, on the flip side, Majima is the one who could most easily fall into domesticity. It’s something he’s fantasized for himself ever since he was a boy, and something he cast aside immediately following the hole. He imagined a family impossible for him, and has attempted to cast aside that part of himself. But there’s no destroying Who you Are. He wants to be a tender person. Once Saejima, his strongest familial relationship, returns, he lets that side of himself regain a foothold in his brain.

This is both supported and contradicted by canon depending on the game, but I’ll settle on one. Despite Majima’s reservations and trauma, he is more trusting than Kiryu in a lot of situations. (In Yakuza 2: “There’s nothing wrong with putting your trust in a guy...”) Kiryu will tend to be cynical and have to be “won” in order for him to put his trust in you. Majima, however, will put his trust if he feels he can, but is very liberal with rescinding it.

Kiryu goes through a phase in his romantic relationship with Majima where he feels unwanted due to Majima’s low intimacy drive. The only way that’s resolved is by talking. There’s a lot of things they cannot get out of their relationship with each other, and that’s absolutely fine. They find other things to make it work.

On the flip side....... Kiryu’s revolving-door life results in Majima feeling cast aside again and again. It’s not that Kiryu thinks of hurting Majima, but his idea of romance is very different to Majima’s. He thinks he can just put on a new skin and live out an entirely different life as a different person. This is what causes their relationship to fizzle out time and time again. Their relationship is a very, very unstable wave. It’ll be strong, weak, whatever. The bottom line is that they’re never going to be able to reach that Perfect Meeting Point.

BUT this is all from Yakuza 1-6....Post 7, and I have no idea! Maybe they can try again and see themselves more successful due to their Very different life circumstances. Without the clan to hold either of them back, maybe they can make things work. However, I can’t imagine them ever making anything “”official”” as in calling each other boyfriend Or getting married. Their relationship is strange and tumultuous but they genuinely. wholeheartedly Love each other.

[lxvebun]

Hello! I have two requests I’d like to make, both are for Dabi and Hawks.

1 - Dabi and Hawks with a trans boyfriend, who’s feeling dysphoric that day

2 - Dabi and Hawks with a s/o who’s never been in a real relationship, with them being nervous about kissing and stuff like that

Thank you so much!

Dabi & Hawks + trans boyfriend

⁀➷a/n hi angel thank you for requesting and thank you for being so patient and helping me out. I hope you like this! your other request is almost done as well. If I still made some mistakes let me know so I can fix it!

⁀➷content warning: Male!reader, fluff+ comfort, body dysphoria,Proofreading? Never heard of her, im tired. English is not my first language so im sorry for any mistakes

Read my dni before interacting

Dabi

-♡ Dabi loves you so much. Your comfort and happiness are his number one priority, and he will go out of his way to make sure that you are feeling comfortable and happy

-♡If he notices that you wear certain clothes more often because they make you feel like yourself he will steal get them in every color they come. But also please wear his clothes

-♡he knows that showering and getting dressed can be very mentally draining sometimes, so he always tries to distract you while you do your thing

-♡ he probably just starts shit-talking the lov lol but if that's not working he will tell you random stories that make him happy. It doesn't matter if they are real or not as long as it distracts you it's good

-♡Dabi is very protective he will not stand for anyone disrespecting his boyfriend, fortunately you don't really face any issues because Dabi being near you is enough to scare off idiots

-♡as I said, Dabi will not stand for anyone disrespecting his boyfriend, so he won't stand for any self-deprecating talk either. Suddenly he's there giving you lots of kisses everywhere he can and he won't stop until you're smiling again

-♡Dabi also has a habit of writing reminders and words of affection on your body before he goes to the lov. His handwriting is a little messy but it's a nice surprise to wake up to, especially if you woke up feeling a bit icky

-♡You're his handsome and amazing boyfriend that makes him feel so loved and cared for. He will do whatever he can to help you through any problems you may face, and he hopes that these dysphoric feelings fade away soon

Hawks

-♡ just like Dabi, your comfort is Hawks number one priority. He will do whatever he can to make you feel happy and loved

-♡whenever it gets a little hard to shower or get dressed he will try his best to distract you by sending a feather in with you and make it draw shapes on your back so you can guess what it is

-♡ most of the time it's just him spelling out words of love and sweet pet names because he's head over heels in love with you

-♡Hawks loves sharing clothes with you! he mostly steals your hoodies, and he LOVES it when you put on his jacket, especially if you decide to wear it in public like yes, that my handsome boyfriend NO, you cannot come near him

-♡Hawks is also very focused on your health, so if you wear a binder he makes sure that they are of good quality and that you don't wear them too long. If you take any medication he makes sure you take those as well

-♡Hawks loves your voice. it's beautiful and so comforting to him even if you don't like it. He turns into a happy mess of chirps and wing flutters whenever you call him a sweet nickname. Keigo thinks your voice is beautiful and will continue to think it's beautiful through every change it goes through

-♡Hawks adores you, you make him feel so happy and loved. He feels incredibly lucky to be able to call you his boyfriend and he cannot wait until he can turn that into his husband<3

thank you for reading bunnies<3

♡nav♡ ♡Dabi.mlist♡ ♡Hawks.mlist♡ ♡DNI♡

Read the dni before interacting (its not much lol)

[hollypies]

octonauts angst head canons

This escalated fast 🙃

I'm not. I cant do just straight up angst I'm. I'm need that comfort I dknt want them to suffer :(

Theyre a family they love each other!

But uhm. *cracks knuckles* here goes? Oh btw my hands are numb so I'm sorry if there's to many spelling errors

Captain Barnacles

Extremely claustrophobic. Hates any small space that he cannot get out of. If he's in trapped somewhere to long he panics horribly

Worries about the others if he doesn't know exactly where they are. With the amount if times they've all been separated with no real way to find each other he worries that one of them may get lost

Should one of them get hurt Captain Barnacles just. He does what he can but he has a bit of a anxiety attack later because he feels he should've prevented it. He's the Captain after all

He misses his old home. He loves it on the Octopod, but sometimes there's just. Something else that's missing.

Sometimes the pressure of feeling like. Like uhm. Being Captain and being responsible for his crew. It gets to much sometimes. Especially when something goes wrong.

Kwazii

He's very fidgety so being in confined spaces isn't great for him either.

Sometimes he feels ljke. Like he annoys the others with his tales of monsters and just. Just stuff like that

Worries that he's going to lose his crew. His family. He doesn't want to be cast away.

Gets really upset if he thinks someone is reallt mad at him. He tries to fix whatever he did as soon as possible

He does have a mysterious pirate past. Im assuming he didn't stay with his old crew. Maybe due to how he sees the world, especially sea life .

Worries that his stimming might be annoying to a degree

Has some . Mysterious scars. He says he got them in battle with a dangerous sea monster.

Gets dysphoric occasionally. Especially if he's already upset.

Peso

So much anxiety. He gets overwhelmed real easily and panics quickly. This can cause a complete shutdown or a panic attack

I believe he's the youngest on the Octopod. Because of this and a few other reasons he feels like. Like he doesn't really know his place. He's a medic obviously, but he's not as experienced as everyone else is

He worries horribly when someone gets hurt, and overthinks that soemthine might be worse than it is.

If two or more of the crew gets into an argument, the angry type, Peso has to flee to his room and lock the door. He doesn't like his friends fighting, and angry people tend to make his insecurities worse. He'll start to think its all his fault and lock himself in a loop

When he has a meltdown its . Hard to pull him out of it. He tends to fixate on just. Every thing wrong.

Peso just. Really doesn't want to let anyone down.

He misses his family. He loves his found family! But like Barnacles, he does miss his other one

Terrified of the dark. Has gotten a bit better abojt his fear but. Still hates the dark

Dashi

Dashi doesn't have break downs easily ,but when she does it's really rough

She can't be in the quiet too long because the silence just. It messes with her. Makes her feel uneasy

She tries to take things easily, but when she gets overwhelmed or angry she tends to snap at the others. This can cause problems

She's also not as experienced as say, Captain Barnacles, Kwazii, and Tweak. She's a tech expert, but she's not super used to being underwater all the time

She wishes she could contribute more to the team

She has a few chronic pains that come an go. Its really. Some days can be bad

Tweak

Tweak cant sleep. She has horrible insomnia.

This can make mornings especially difficult, and if she doesn't get enough sleep she gets bad mood swings. This can lead to fighting

They get bad dysphoria, and sometimes they just. Hate that they feel that way.

As the creator of the Gups, he feels guilty when skemthing goes wrong with one of them. Especially if a glitch or something she missed gets someone else hurt.

Sometimes they'll work themselves into a frenzy and forget just. Basic self care lkke drinking water or eating.

Tweak worries about being to blunt and hurting someone else's feelings.

Worries about not knowing exactly what tk do.

Doesn't like loud noises at all. They bother her a lot

Shellington

Shellington very much has autism! This makes it a bit harder to understand social cues and if the others are fighting he sometimes accidentally makes things worse.

It also makes it hard if things go off schedule. He gets just. Overwhelmed and . If it's really bad has a meltdown

Sometimes fears he's doing something wrong. Like , like what he says and things like that. He over thinks an gets really anxious about it

He doesn't like angry yelling, it's a trigger for him. He'll shut down or have a meltdown.

Worries he annoys the crew when he infodumps

He's glad the vegimals (basically his children) have the rest of the Octonauts to fall back on if they need something he can't provide, but it does. Hurt a little, knowing he can't help them with everything

Shellington can accidentally lock himself into his research for hours at a time. Unhealthy so. Usually the Vegimals can break him out of it but not all the time.

Professor Inkling

I cant think of much for him, other he is old. He worries that the Octonauts, that his family will be. Just . Distraught.

He worries about all of them, a lot. He knows their young anf capable but. He's seen some of the stuff that happens. Its not always a safe job

He's more or less a therapist to everyone, and does his best to listen and help then with their problems. If he can't , he just let's them have a shoulder to cry on.

Yeah I m. Km not gonna do this to the Vegimals they're kids. I cannot :(

But because that was. Upsetting and . Sad . Im gonna do comfort ones now!! Because they're a family for the Goddesses sake!! They love and support each other through the hard times. I'm not gonna go one by one its hsut gonna be. A jumble of comfort things

Here goes!!

The only one who really knows about Captain Barnacles' claustrophobia is Kwazii. It's not in his medical file for some reason. Anyway Kwazii will generally help Barnacles through a panic attack or joke with him to more or less put him at ease.

Kwazii is actually pretty open with his emotions. It's also really easy to pick up on when he's upset. The others get him gifts and littke trinkets or just spend time goofing off with him to cheer him up. Especially when he feels like he's being left behind.

Everyone does their best to help Captain Barnacles when he's just. Over worked. Or seriously worried. They let him sleep in extra or let him hover over them or just. Just listen to him and reassure him that it's OK to feel overwhelmed. They're ok, theyre all ok . During a day like that they host a movie night and take turns picking movies. All of them are there, and they have a wonderful time. If their Captain cries no one says anything anf they just huddle together and stay there as long as he needs

If there's a fight Barnacles or Kwazii usually de-escalate things before it gets too bad. If it results to yelling and Peso or Shellington flee they immediately stop and fix the situation. After wards they send someone to check on the both and they spend time calming down. Sometimes they watch movies, other times they ready together.

If Peso had a panic attack its normally Kwazii or Captain Barnacles who goes and helps. Mostly because they know how how deal with the situation better. They'll just. Sit an hug it out. Just let it all out an then afterwards they go somewhere quiet an just talk about nice things

Dashi checks on Tweak a lot to make sure she's doing ok. Skemtimes they have little sleepovers!

When Shellington gets overwhelmed the vegimals will jsut sit with him and ask questions about sea life!

[turing-tested]

so, do you have to be on t for the rest of your life, or is there a point where you stop taking it? like, let's say you're on t for a long time, to the point where you stop getting periods. if for some reason you cant or stop taking t, do they come back? how much do changes revert if you stop taking t?

i don't 'have' to be on T for the rest of my life like, medically if one day I'm like "you know what? this is good and I'm chill with things shifting back towards feminine" but to continue to have things like the masculine fat distribution i do need to continue to take T

I was off T for a bit/spacing my doses bc I was running out for a bit and yes, my cycle did come back after not having it for two years which sucked

there are some permanent changes like voice deepening but im easily able to access a 'female' range/inflection anyways so that's not necessarily a problem for me if I woke up one day and was like 'im wamen actually' uhhhh bottom growth is permanant and honestly like. despite some people being like 'oh that sounds scary I don't want that' I cannot stress enough how much of a non issue it actually is really. as I mentioned fat distribution will change slowly out of a masculine type over time and as for hair, I'm actually sure about that! I'm pretty sure it stops coming in as thick facial hair wise but I'm not really sure if my leg hair would ever go back

I definitely noticed my skin getting softer/clearer while I was off T/spacing my doses so that's def a thing

if you look up online there a lot of info about what does or does not change when you stop taking T that will probably be more thorough than I can lol

honestly tho for me personally if I ever went 'oh im lady?' or even 'hm, I think I'm fine with being perceived as a woman' none of the changes I've gotten from T would really cause me any distress. obviously your milage may vary but I've grown so much more comfortable in my body I wouldn't be really upset like. hey, it's mine, I live here, it is how it is, I guess. nothing that would make me be dysphoric in an opposite way should my gender change

also if you just like really don't want your period you can just.....get birth control that stops it, you can just....go on like nuva ring or something similar to just not have it as opposed to continuing or starting hrt to stop it

[himbophobes-moved]

hey i just saw your post about bi men and i totally agree! i wanted to ask you a question about your non-trans-med beliefs (i saw the reblog on the post) and i am coming from a place of genuine curiosity and not judgement. feel free not to answer, i just want you to know i’m not trying to be rude i just am genuinely looking for an answer.

you said that you have dysphoria but that not all trans people need dysphoria to be trans, and i don’t fully understand this statement (but am open minded!) it has been explained to me that you need dysphoria to be trans because otherwise you have no reason to be trans, but i have also heard about gender euphoria and how that can be the deciding factor on if you’re trans. do you believe you need gender euphoria instead?

ps - i tried to look up some stuff online and the rest of tumblr but i still don’t completely understand, and you seem smart and seem to have good takes so i thought i’d ask you. again feel free to disregard, you have no obligation to answer a rando’s questions on the internet

one thing that's important to understand is trans ppl are not a monolith. by saying that gender dysphoria is required to be trans, you are generalizing the trans experience. no one person experiences their gender or their trans identity exactly the same, and that includes dysphoria, or lack thereof.

trndsmeds believe that gender dysphoria is a requirement to be trans, and that without gender dysphoria, people who transition will develop dysphoria and will later regret it. while this may be true in some cases it certainly is not true in every case. there are so so many trans people in the world, and each trans person has their own unique relationship with their identity and their body. saying gender dysphoria is required to be trans is directly spitting in the face of all the trans people who are at peace with themselves.

also, dysphoria can be EXTREMELY personal. trans people shouldnt have to disclose their entire relationship with their body and how they look at themselves in the mirror just for some randos on the internet to deem them "trans enough." im dysphoric but there is no way im telling some random, entitled trnsmed on the internet all the things i hate about my body. like, you get why thats invasive and rude, right?

its also worth mentioning that medicalizing being trans, and saying you need to have dysphoria, something inherently miserable, in order to be trans, is a problem in and of itself. making transitioning require a medical diagnoses will only serve to cause further gatekeeping, meaning less trans people can transition. not everyone has access to the kind of medical care that allows them a diagnoses. trans people shouldnt have to jump through hoops to transition and live their best lives.

trnsmeds beliefs are, largely, cis-centric, meaning they directly cater to the ideals of cisgender people. trnsmed ideology furthers the ideals of regular transphobes, and a majority of the time they reinforce binary ideas of gender. most of the trnsmeds ive seen have been nonbinary skeptics at best. theres also a whole lot more problems with trnsmed ideology in relation to other aspects that i dont have the point of view to speak on.

there is no "reason" to be trans. there doesnt have to be.

trying to pin down a specific "reason" that people are trans is pointless and gets us nowhere. i promise you that uplifting trans and nonbinary people regardless of whether or not they have dysphoria is a MUCH more useful way to spend your time and breath.

[trans-advice]

i'm a trans guy and i guess im sort of 'stealth' by not disclosing this to people, i try to let on that i'm cis (to my friends ofc i wouldnt hide that from a romantic partner), but i have one problem: sometimes people ask why my voice is so high if i'm male. is there anything i can say to explain having a high voice besides saying "i'm trans" ?? i've contemplated saying like "oh it's a medical condition" just so i won't have to tell them but :/// idk,,

well, i think the medical condition route would be both accurate & safe. (like your first puberty didn’t have enough testosterone to thicken your vocal cords.) you don’t have to state which medical condition it is, but if people are being rude, be like you don’t want to talk about it.

another good way of saying this is “it’s between me & my doctor." it’s a bit assertive, so depending on how soft you need to be, voila.

i think being relatively monotone passes as masculine? also avoiding rising intonation etc would help too. granted, these cues are based a lot on cis/sexism but still we work with what we got. i know we’ve posted stuff for practicing a deeper voice.

don’t go the singing route, that would require so much backstory since not everyone sings (& not everyone who sings sings good. having a chronic high pitch chronically would imply commitment to high-pitch singing & thereby imply an ability to go deeper which is actually what you struggle with). it also wouldn’t account for a struggle with deep pitch ranges. also you might get dysphoric singing more feminine roles in songs.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

[carnifcrous]

could you give me a rundown on what being gender critical is? i get the basics i think but if you don’t mind explaining your views?

oh boy anon i’ll sure try!! idk if im the best person to talk about it tbh and ive confused a lot of people trying to explain my views before ahfjkfh but ill try REALLY hard to keep my adhd ass in check lmfao. if theres anything i said thats confusing & you need cleared up feel free to @ me againi dont know how long gender critical has existed as a concept, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was developed as a reaction to a certain VERY vocal part of the trans movement/trans rights activists

(so when you talk to people (trans ppl) about gender i think people usually break it down into several a few categories: gender identity, gender roles, and gender expression. i think most trans people are aware of & separate their sex from their gender identity, the identity being something innately part of every person, the roles generally speaking the bullshit that society expects & should be rejected, and gender expression really just being the traditional “feminine” or “masculine” behaviors/dress you use regardless of your innate identity.in trans circles/lgbt (merch, lol) sites i’ve seen the phrase passed around “gender is a social construct.” i think trans people who do/used to say that meant it kind of like that since gender was created by societies so it doesn’t matter how you identify/why not expand the understanding of gender (ergo, non-binary genders getting popularized). i think this fell out of popularity because it was transppls attempt to validate ourselves and conservatives cant wrap their mind around social constructs are/the distinction between sex and gender and so it wasnt really working out lmfaobut now there’s been some scientific studies getting popularized that have Suggested the existences of male & female brains and that trans ppl have the brain of their identified gender, therefore the disconnect between their brain and their body manifests as gender dysphoria. (i think the transmed community has especially taken to this idea esp because of kalvin garrah discovering these studies & now kind of preaching them as facts & science. with this comes him, his friends, and all the transmed ppl who stan him ryan and london saying that Gender Isnt Socially Constructed)then theres the posts circling around here saying Transwomen Are Women/Real Women + when the women’s march happened in america after trump got elected, i saw quite a few things on facebook where ppl were saying that all the talk of vaginas and shit were transphobic and trans-exclusionary and they should keep in mind that not all women have vaginas, etc etcthen u have what i believe (or at least hope) are outliers in the trans community being dug up (usually transwomen) who say........ The Most ridiculous shit imo. like saying theyre more of a woman than ciswomen (i’ll use cis strictly to mean not-trans in the context of this post), transwomen claiming theyre having a period, and just in general perpetuating “cotton ceiling” stuff like lesbians just needing to get over their transphobia to be with a pre-op transwoman. (again i would like to reiterate i DO NOT believe this is what the majority of transpeople believe, its just a vocal minority thats gotten attention from receipt blogs IMO.))**sorry that this post is already becoming an essay and if its derailing from the question, but this is what i think gender critical stuff is meant to react toso kind of in opposition to mainstream ideas of what gender is, i think radfems/gender critical people dont really break down gender into the different things like identity, roles and expression. from my understanding, gender was socially constructed based on sex stereotypes. i think we can all agree that stereotypes are Bad, so why should we identify with some set stereotypes?

the gender critical beliefs is that there’s not right or wrong way to be male or female (male and female in this post meaning to strictly refer to biological sex). gender is holding us back by continuing to subscribe to sex stereotypes and is counterproductive to building a society where people are free to express themselves however they like. (a lot of gender critical ppl equate gender identity with personality, and while i think this can sometimes be the case w nondysphoric people & mogai genders, it isn’t always and usually isnt, because as i mentioned before, a lot of ppl know enough to say that gender expression is something independent of gender identity.)as for my personal take on it & how it plays a part of my life (apologies that this is going to get super anecdotal):this all is related to my own transition. since questioning being trans, i fluctuated between different non-binary identities. i didnt think i was Trans Enough to call myself a transmale because i didnt want to kill myself over not having a penis (or even trans enough to call myself trans at all lol), so i thought i needed to stay as being nb. then i realized they/them pronouns did...... nothing for me. the whole time i had she/they/he or they/he in a profile i was always secretly hoping someone would just call me he lol.

but i felt like i was an insult to REAL transmen. it took me a while to realize that i didnt care too much about the specifics, i just needed to do what made me happy. that happiness was being read as male & using he/him pronouns.

but even then id still struggle. id have moments of thinking that i was just copying my best friend (who had a similar nb -> binary transmale path as me), or that i didnt even feel like a boy, that i was STILL faking being trans, that i should feel more of x y & z, that id made a mistake with starting testosterone, etc. reading radfem/gender critical stuff used to trigger the fuck out of me lmfao.i think what i eventually realized for myself and the sentiment other gender critical transppl share is that i was setting up an expectation/standard for myself that was impossible to attain. with mainstream gender theory, a cisman and i share our gender identity, our gender is the same (”cis” as its used to “identifying with your biological sex”). the thing is though, in terms of sex/gender, theres nothing i find that i have comparable to a male. i dont act like a “man” because im not one, im a TRANSman. ive lived most of my life so far as female and being socialized that way has been significant to me. i relate a lot to women and its always felt wrong to me how suddenly because im transitioning it felt to me like i was expected to revoke my right to speak on feminism/womens experiences. way before i discovered gender critical things i was pissed off at people trying to be “allies” to transpeople saying shit like “all men are trash transmen are real men so theyre trash too uwu!” like. fuck that. and fuck you for insinuating i would EVER treat a woman the way that men do.

like i know there are transmen (and just transppl in general, for that matter), who try to overcompensate with misogyny/misogynistic ideas because they think itll help them pass better but fuck

anyway. im proud of being a natal female and being socialized that way. being trans isnt exactly a party but im glad i could get the insight i have into the treatment of women and so forth. and the thing is, this isnt a contradiction to me being trans at all. once i let go of whether or not i was “male enough” of “valid” as a boy, i could once again just focus on the very concrete evidence in my life: i was EXTREMELY dysphoric about my chest. i’ve been on hrt for almost two years now and ive had top surgery. my dysphoria is almost non-existent since ive had surgery. i dont mind & even get excited about all the changes coming from being on testosterone. (dont like that i cant sing like i used to and that i’ll probably end up balding at least by my 50s if my dads head is any indication, but cismen have this problem too so whatever)

also ive never felt quite right when i was calling myself gay (exclusively attracted to men). i share some issues that gay men might, i Can be affected by homophobia because i Do pass as male, but its still not 100% the same experience and i think that distinction is importantmy concerns & how being gender critical is important to me:

me coming out as trans was a process over time. using the usual trans rhetoric, i was having difficulties explaining myself to people. specifically im thinking about my mom. when i said i was uncomfortable with being seen as a girl, she said she was uncomfortable too. she liked dressing more like a boy. some other shit she said too that i dont remember, but my basic takeaway: cispeople, particularly ciswomen, arent necessarily enthusiastically identifying with their correlated gender to their sex, because..... no reasonable person likes gender roles.

and i get worried about people like my mom who might be encouraged to identify as nonbinary just because theyre gender non-conforming. the identity itself wouldnt be much of a problem except that it seems to me like its being pretty normalized for nonbinary people to just kind of....... experiment with medical transitioning to try to achieve some Ideal androgynous form that would be.... Very difficult to achieve. i worry about people not thinking medical transitioning is a big deal and just kind of.... disregarding all the potential health consequences, how powerful testosterone is as a hormone, and so on. with the permanent changes that come people THEN end up experiencing dysphoria and life is.... really pretty difficult for detransitioned women from what i can tell, and a lot of people talk about how theres been a spike of people detransitioning lately.

i think part of the problem is 1. transmed/truscum people harassing & bullying nondysphoric trans-identified people, so they feel the need to medically transition to Prove Themselves and 2. just in general the aforementioned idea that everyone has a gender identity. i think itd be very uncommon for people to “identify” as cis, and so you get this whole mess of people thinking they need an androgynous body to match their androgynous identity......... etc.

bonus: my mom crying on her birthday because she said she didnt think shed be able to ever see me as a guy. “nonbinary, maybe, but you dont act like a boy.” problem solved, i dont act like a guy, i act like a transguy!!

also again, need to reiterate that i cant relate to men. i can never Become Male, not with our current technology. i was not socialized as male and thats okay!! its okay because im just doing what i need to in order to be comfortable with my body and myself. i dont need to worry about my dating pool seeing me as a Real Man because they can see me fully as the transman i am and my relationship with being a natal woman and just, shit like that. ive gotten a lot more comfortable with even being called she when it does happen (by accident by family members). its not a swear word to me and ive let go of a lot of expectations i thought i had to meet with being uncomfortable talking about my female organs and my past as living as a woman etc etc. im not trying to Be anything anymore. im just trying to live as myself

some of my issues with the gender critical community just as a disclaimer:

i have a lot honestly and im not going to be able to name them all off the top of my head

makes sense that it would be, but i think the community is rampant with transphobia in the sense of flattening transpeople to the “transcult” stereotype where they just..... dont seem to think of us as individuals. they think we’re all genderists getting triggered by misgendering & demanding our pronouns. they think all of us are “delusional” about our natal sex. they think we’re all gender conforming. they dont take dysphoria seriously in general, ESPECIALLY males experiencing dysphoria (i get that your feminism doesnt have to be concerned with “men” but come on). misgendering is just disrespectful to me (idgaf about rapists, whatever use whatever pronouns you feel the need for those people.)

just in general some people dont get that trans people can still exist in a post-gender world? and you can still be critical of gender while respecting people’s pronouns? by their very nature i think the transmed, radfem, and especially gender critical communities are attractive to bullies so you have those flocking to it, and thats an issue but... yeah.

this answer has gone on long enough and im really sorry anon im sure you didnt sign up to read a 13 page essay. i just got lost in my thoughts and felt like i had a lot of explaining to do. i think my feelings are both simple and complicated so idk if i even really answered your questions, i hope i did..., ;;

[promiseimnotacop]

let's go about this a different way: pick your fave ten questions from the trans journey ask game and answer them!

bold of you to assume I’ve ever managed to make a decision in my life. also warning this gonna be looooooong

from this ask game

1. How did you choose your name? 

so I’ve always been interested in names and a couple years before i ever came out to anyone I asked my mum casually if there were any other names she’d considered giving me. She said that Finn or Finnbar were up there had I “”been born a boy”” and so I latched on to that. It worked pretty well for me because I wanted something that felt like an equivalent exchange for my birthname and that I didn’t associate strongly with a particular individual and I’d never had a Finn in my year at school so that was all hunky dory. Took me a while longer to figure out middle names (because my birthname has two middle names and it’s sort of a tradition on my dad’s side so I wanted to have those). 

There was a hot minute when I considered calling myself “Hugo Finn” which I’m so glad I didn’t, not that it is objectively a bad name, but because my reasoning was erm....bad. It was at a time when I had a lot of internalised self hatred/disgust and the name Hugo I first came across and associated heavily with the morally ambiguous “freak” from ASOUE. At the time I thought using a name I associated so heavily with the word freak was a way of subverting negative feelings but tbh it wasn’t. I’m so glad I didn’t tether myself that negativity. 

Also fun fact, my birthname is Shakespearean protagonist who spends most of the play dressed as a boy so again for a hot second I considered using the name she does, Fidele, but I wasn’t about having a super conspicuously uncommon name. 

For middle names in the end I went for James Lee (though nothing is legal or set in stone feedback and opinions are welcome lol). Lee came first, after the river in my village that I have a lot of postive memories associated with, outside of all the gender bullshit. The problem then became that the name “Finn Lee” would sound like/get mistaken for “Finley” and “Finnbar Lee” would sound like “Finn Barley” which would be eccentric and confusing. So it needed a buffer. In the end I went for James, partly because the first middle name of my given name is a saint, but mostly because James can be Jim and that allows for some of my childhood nicknames (im jim jam, imbo jimbo) to sort of still apply. that was a long answer to a short question lol but I spent a lot of time thinking about this because for some reason I felt  like I couldn’t come out until I’d already settled on a full name. 

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

I don’t think they’re separable. I have dysphoria about my body but it is because of societal perceptions of my body

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

depends on how savvy that person is to trans jargon honestly. The best, if clunky, label I’ve found for my gender is “transmasculine non-binary” which is two different quite broad umbrella terms lol. I like the looseness of it. For me personally, it means that the framework of masculinity and maleness is not an exact fit and does not cover some of the complexities of my gender but, in my daily interactions it is a close enough approximation and I do desire to pursue parts of what might be considered a “trans masculine” medical transition. For the most part masculine coded language (including he/him pronouns) is what suits me the best, with only a few particular exceptions. So, for most of the world I am functionally “a man” (even though that is one of the few bits of masculine coded language I don’t gel with), or maybe “a gender non-conforming man” and I am not gonna split hairs about that if we aren’t close. 

But if we’re seriously getting into a chat about gender there’s a lot more to be said. If drawing a diagram of my gender I would say I’m about 55% male, 30% “other”/third gender/maverique/genderqueer/whatever you want to call a gender identity autonomous and seperate from male or female, and 15% nothing/void. And all of that is subject to fluctuate a bit and which parts I might connect with most can be slightly contextual. I am more “a man” than anything else but also pretending to be a binary man is cutting out a significant part. 

12. Do you pass?

Let’s unpack the most Problematique question lol. Just kidding. It is important to acknowledge how “passing” or not effects daily safety/experiences but....god can we not use that word? Can that not be the agreed upon term? The implication that you are otherwise “failing”? The way in which it is incredibly difficult to apply to no-binary people? The way it does not acknowledge the nuances and the way that being read as a certain gender can be conditional? 

I prefer to use the terms “read as” because it allows for more nuanced discussion, does not have moralistic implications, puts the onus on the people viewing - not the individual being viewed and is kinda intuitive to understand.

To answer the question though? For the most part (like maybe 80% of the time) I am read as male. By no means always, and it is conditional on me following a certain level of gender conformity, but for the most part I interact with the world being addressed as a guy. As someone who is very much pre-t it seems that this alone subverts the standard “trans narrative”. Hell I was mostly read as male for a while before I ever came out. I’ve been corrected and laughed at in the women’s bathrooms. I’ve been harassed for gender nonconformity not in spite of but because I was wearing “girl’s” uniform. I have had fellow trans people assume I was a cis man (on more than one occasion) even when I introduced myself by my very much feminine birthname. I have little kids point blank refuse to believe I am “a girl”. I have had strangers confront and correct my mum for addressing me with she/her pronouns (before I was out). I have had kids yell the T slur at me (before I had begun to learn the invisible rules - which to be totally clear are bullshit -that need to be followed in order to be more consistently and unerringly read as male). I’ve been read as male occasionally in contexts where it was impossible for me to be out (near strangers on holiday whilst using birthname, new teachers and students at a school i’d been at since I was 11 and worn “girl’s uniform” until 16, etc).

It’s by no means always though. Which makes the times I don’t difficult and awkward. The technician on my course refers to me with feminine language but none of my tutors. The other day I tried out wearing eye shadow to class and I guy I bumped into later said that he hadn’t recognised me because it made me look like a girl (cringe). etc.

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

haha i don’t go. I literally haven’t been to the men’s bathroom (apart from once on holiday) but also i get harassed in the women’s/get directed towards the men’s so.....here’s to hoping I don’t get a UTI lads. Literally been in a public loos once since June (not including holiday abroad) and then i nipped into the disabled one during shark week. 

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

so at the beginning of uni I sort of tried to go stealth to see if I could/if it was comfortable (and by go stealth I mostly mean I just didn’t openly talk about my trans-ness for a while). I didn’t wanna be known as ‘the trans one’ and so i didn’t want to introduce myself with that fact. It fucking sucked would not recommend 0/10. It’s incredibly lonely-making to try and filter your experiences and to not be able to discuss certain issues with anyone irl. 

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

I used to do this thing when I was feeling particularly dysphoric/hopeless where I would draw myself now, and myself in 5 years time. Help construct something to look forward to, and work out what I would sincerely like to wear/express but don’t due to dysphoria. For me I really want to get to a place where I am comfortable in androgyny. I want to grow my hair out without sacrificing being read as male. I want to wear long skirts and crop tops whilst still being read and understood as a guy. I’ve done a lot of self reflection and I don’t think I can get to the place of being comfortable until I have had top surgery and I might also require T (though top surgery is really the necessity for my day to day life). Fingers crossed that will be possible and slightly healed within 5 years but given the NHS it really is not certain. 

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

T4T is self care. Jk. Honestly probably but that’s not to say a cis person couldn’t be my ideal partner? like at any rate it’s fucking necessary that my partner fully understands/perceives me to not be a woman. They could just be cis and no. 1 ally but in all likeliness they’re probably gonna be trans (particularly given the number trans and/or nb cuties out there)

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

I’m not managing. Send help.

seriously every week I have a break down about how long NHS wait times are.

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I’m an art student in Brighton. Yes. 

(Also my sibling Sumner is an NB lesbian, and my childhood best friend Hunter is NB). 

Literally going to be one cis person in my house of six next year. 

[thetransangels]

Can I still be a trans guy if I don't really want T or bottom surgery? I have chest and hip dysphoria, and when im called girl/she/lady/etc, but i don't really want to be super hairy and i don't really feel the need for bottom surgery either (i also have a condition that might prevent it) though i do want my uterus removed. is that a problem for being trans??

Hi

There are many trans people who do not want hormones or surgery, despite being dysphoric due to family, religion, medical or financial reasons and there is nothing wrong with that. They have the strength to cope with their dysphoria through other means and I admire that they can do that.

Not wanting some effects of hormones is not unsual. I think most trans men do not want to lose their hair, have strong odour, be sweaty or super hairy, at least, I did not want any of those effects. My overall dysphoria was the issue though, and I knew that I could not pick and choose effects. If I were born cis, those are the effects I would have and deal with like every other man.

In trans men, dysphoria is usually with all sex characteristics but some parts may be much stronger/severe than others, depending on the person. Therefore it comes as no surprise to me that you may not want bottom surgery. I know I should have a penis and I wish I did have a penis, but the liklieness of me ever opting for surgery is unlikely because of the risks and grafts. Surgery is just not for everyone.

You said you have hip, chest and dysphoria with your internal organs. My only concern would be if you do not have dysphoria over other aspects that are feminine, like body shape, voice, etc? Dysphoria is usually the best indication of whether you are trans, and having few particular areas you are distressed about may not be dysphoria but something else. I am not a therapist though and so you would need to see a gender specialist about whether you have gender dysphoria, but as I said before, dysphoria is usually distress with both primary and secondary characterstics and not just some areas.

Other factors can contribute to someone experiencing distress in the same way as trans people too, and it is not uncommon for people to mistake their distress from trauma, mental illness etc. for dysphoria/being trans, so this is something I would suggest looking into. Distress with being called she and woman is social dysphoria, and alone (not accompanied with sex dysphoria) I believe would not be strong enough to determine whether you are trans, as social dysphoria is often caused by society and how society percieves you and the association certain roles/words have that make you uncomfortable. This post explains this.

Overall, if you strongly know that your sex is at odds with what it should be, then I think using trans is appropriate, and that you are not obligated to undergo hormones and surgery. This is about what is best for you, no one else but there is also nothing wrong with looking into other possibilities.

Best wishes

Caleb

[ihatececil]

@bbq-sauce-on-my-todds ok ok for one thing youre not pissing any of us off cause we thrive on attention lol. but anyway, your viewpoint is still harmful. do you know why in most places its so hard to get hormones and transition? why there are so many gatekeepers in the medical field? thats because of people with viewpoints like yours. this viewpoint is what pushes cis doctors to gatekeep hormones and treatment from us if we dont meet their standards of if we’re dysphoric enough, and this can especially hurt dysphoric trans people. idk im kind of a dumbass and i dont want to argue too much with you here on i hate cecil dot tumblr dot com, but i hope that you think about how being truscum can hurt other trans people and is doing absolutely nothing to help any of our problems.

[feisty-yordle]

Rant about americans (of all kinds!) still hating LGBT

Im so tired of seeing young LGBT fighting and losing.  Im so tired of homophobia masquerading around as “progressive”.  Im tired of not only American cutlure being so toxic to fags and dykes that they are literally getting life-threatening mental disease for no good reason, no excuseable reason whatsover.  And on TOP OF IT, our old allies are now condoning the medical establishment and greater population’s hate of us, desire for us to be medicalized away via transition.

Dont get me wrong (seriously), im glad that transition is so easily available these days, but you have to admit its a double edged sword, especially with so many transsexuals these days pushing to get access to younger and younger people, saying shit like “if youre dysphoric this is the only way out of eternal suffering”, not giving young queers time who were destined to grow thick trunks and fight for gnc people the time to grow.  Theyre just as much to blame as the medical industry, because at least the medical industry SOMEWHAT questions an individual’s choice to transition before handing out drugs and surgery recommendations (at least real therapy clinics, gender “clinics” i dont think do this).

But i think whats the most frustrating these days is that i feel so powerless.  My fight is over, ive won.  Ive beat my dysphoria.  Im dating one of my best friends who appreciates my nonconformity and would never try to make me change my gender presentation.  Im out of the toxic transgender communities that fed the saplings of dysphoria in my head while pretending to be helpful and oh-so-knowledgeable.  Ive also had the privilege of living in three extremely accepting places for tomboys/femboys, where

no one cares if you look “confusing”

no one cares if youre a tomboy

or an effeminate boy (which i still pass as quite often) in a seemingly gay relationship (although im sure plenty of people prolly just think im my bf’s younger bro since i look so young)

no one cares when i pass as female and bare my hairy pits, my deeper and more vulgar voice

I live there.  Its great.  You can too.

But people did care for a while (which i can go into later).  But i always had support.  And i STILL almost transitioned.  I STILL got dysphoria.  But i fought it and won without harming my body for peace.  Because it is possible, especially for females.  But other people arent getting there!  Either because awful transcultists transgender activists got to them first, or because theyve never made it out of those homophobic communities.  And i cant try to help them out without the Progress Gang and their footsoldiers, our old allies, trying to break the communication ties because theyre so scared my actions will somehow prove to the public that transition SHOULDNT be that easy and that theyll barricade against cross-sex hormone therapy, by accusing me of transphobia, of spitting on the transsexuals who made it this far even when im not even talking about them at all.  What are you trying to say?  That my androgynous existence is an affront to you?  Cause if so, really look at your politics if it cant except anything outside the binary yet calls itself Progressive.

Im curious tho, what should i do, Progressives?  Hope that the country changes on its own?  Let people who have it really bad think transition is the only way out and if they cant, point fingers at the medical industry for not giving free conversion therapy transitions to the poor fags who “need” them?

No.  We need to get Stonewall mad again.

We need to unite the T again - Transvestites, Transgenders, and Transsexuals - and fight together instead of each other.

We need to remind people (nicely!) that their access to hormones and discount surgeries does not trump our rights to exist without harassment over gender presentation.  That our goals arent mutually exclusive - that there is a world where that access still exists but most of the country doesnt need it.  A world where the voices of transsexuals can be heard but still held to the standards of science.

All this political drama and witch hunting is just a distraction from the REAL problem - that we’re still hurting, that USA still hates fags and dykes and anyone who dares to not conform to the gender binary (and even the ones who 99% do because nothing is ever good enough and passing as the other gender is “deception”).  And when it boils down to it, it hates diversity too.

So lets not try to eradicate diversity in our own community by trying to uphold a small, finite set of “approved” rhetoric.  Lets respectfully argue with, not fight, each other.  Cause when we are fighting, lets be it against the true villain, homophobia.