#processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[navyhyuck]

week two | previous | masterlist | next

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐃, 𝐉𝐀𝐘.

↳ a love letter a week, and it has you wondering who’s your secret admirer. you have nine weeks, eight candidates, and one story to live. will you find out who your ‘jay’ is?

a/n :: here’s part two my sexy friends, i’ll be starting to add a little warnings tag from now on because parts will start to get longer and may include some triggering topics!!

wc :: 2.9k (i’m sorry it’s getting longer and longer i know)

warnings: mentions of sex (kinda, not explicit), a singular mention of death, someone’s borderline a bully but not quite (they’re just mean)

taglist: @childofthecycle @the8luvr @staywrites @chocolattees @cloudzume @babytoadz @cherrystay @sandaigdigan-reads @hoes4hoseok @ctrlaltfangirl @kodzu-ken @xazucaradictax @qtieskz @blueprint-han

couldn’t tag: @x-dawna-x

let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

You’re listening to Ryujin go on and on about Han Jisung at practically 6 a.m. (okay, it was around halfway to 8 o’clock, but her words were making you lose track of time), your head resting against the cool metal of the locker, almost wishing you were banging your head against it instead. As much as you knew your friend had a thing for the boy, you never thought you’d be stuck in the middle listening to her over analyzing everything that happened in English the day before. Sure, the precarious boy could be outstanding at pipetting in chemistry, but his social skills weren’t the best. Or at least, they weren’t the best with you.

“Anyway, I’ll shut up now, you look like you just watched The Conjuring and threw up on yourself.” She exclaims rather dryly, and you raise your head, glimpsing at the questioning look on her face. “By the way, that movie was shit. I’ll get to the point, then. I was gonna ask who you’re going to homecoming with.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at both the comment on one of your favorite horror movies ever (that you’ve watched four times already, each time with the same girl who insists it’s not scary but ends up peeking past her fingers anyway) and homecoming. “Myself,” you reply, returning your head to its original position. “Do I look like the kind of person that would go to homecoming with a date? Really?”

“You went last year,” she points out, and you realize it’s true with a groan. It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t refuse the captain of the basketball team when he proposed the idea in the middle of the cafeteria, halfway through the sixth period. Honestly, San wasn’t too bad anyway, he just wanted to have some fun with a girl that wasn’t following after him in the general sheep crowd; after the night was over, however, you swore to yourself that you would never come to a dance voluntarily wearing stilettos without one of your go-to friends. “And you liked it. Plus, I was thinking, we should all get dates this year! You know, since it’s our senior year and all. You won’t have another hoco to miss after this one.”

“Get dates? You’re acting like it’s buying takeout.” 

“It basically is,” she shrugs. “You go out, ask for something from someone, and they either give it to you or not. Though I’m not really sure if restaurants are allowed to refuse service.”

 “We could just all go as friends,” you suggest, finally opening up your locker. “As great as having some random dude as my date, no thanks. Like you said, it’s our last year. And hoco’s been fun since freshman year for us anyway, what’s the point of setting us up with dudes when we’re just gonna ditch them?”

“Who said I’m gonna ditch my date?”

“Me, I just did,” you deadpan, shuffling through your books to grab onto your chemistry lab book and stuffing it into your bag. “Remember sophomore year? Yeah, you might not want to remember it, but I do. Lee Daehwi?” She groans at the sound of the familiar name, making you chuckle.

“Okay, fair enough, but I’m not gonna ditch my date this time. Not if I get the one I want.” Ryujin smacks your arm to grab your attention, making you hiss before you see the knowing look on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows. You cross your arms in confusion, trying to scan and rescan her face for hints to what she was getting at, but when your mind finally clicks, you freeze. And then, your jaw drops. “Shut up.”

“I-I didn’t even say anything!”

“I know what you’re gonna say!” She points at you, shaking her finger before bringing it back down. “Look, like you said, it’s senior year. I don’t have a chance, really, not after this one. Either I ask him out for homecoming in the next week or I mope around for the rest of my life regretting not going to a high school dance with the hottest guy in school. Yeah, okay, I guess that kinda does sound a little pathetic.”

You consider it for a moment, imagining how awkward the interaction between Ryujin’s infamous crush and her would be; there would be a whole lot of tripping at the feet and ten times the amount of stuttering. Plus, you’re sure that the boy didn’t have the heart capacity to receive a request without passing out cold. He’s a little fragile after all. “You think Jisung’s the hottest guy in school?”

“Duh, who else do you think? That Hyunjin dude? Yeah, maybe, I saw him a few times in the past few days, but so what? People just get hyped over some guy whenever they come to the school and like four days later he’s no longer a cool transfer student and just ‘the guy next to me in calculus.’” You give her a look, one that you hope resembles something that conveyed the message of ‘you just brought up Hyunjin completely unprovoked’ but she doesn’t budge, her eyes trailed on her nails as she continues. “...and I’ll ask Jisung. Chaeryoung said she’s going with that other guy from your chem, whatever his name was, him. So then, it’s just you.”

You’re reminded suddenly of the letter that you pulled from your locker a few days earlier, the one that followed after the previous introduction and pleaded for you to attend the dance. Even if the letter had never arrived, you were planning on it anyway, but now, you had a purpose. “I don’t really want a date,” you say carefully, your eyes darting across the busy hallway before focusing on the blue of your best friend’s hair. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe, whatever. I don’t feel like stressing out about asking someone, so maybe if someone asks me, I'll be their date. But don’t count on it, alright?”

Ryujin narrows her eyes at you, as if searching for something underneath (something that wasn’t there, you’d like to point out, but she’s still looking intently) before humming. “Alright, sure.” She finishes abruptly, clearly wanting to add onto her sentence but refraining from doing so, making you raise an eyebrow at her shenanigans.

“Spit it out, c’mon, I know you have more to say.”

Your best friend gives you a deadly look but considers it, resting her back against the lockers before turning back to you. “Okay, this is just a thought, got it? Just something running through my head right now that I want to share.”

You cross your arms. “A thought? You? Thinking? Well, that’s no good.”

“Shut up and listen to me first,” she waves you off, shuffling closer until you can see the glimmer of her eyeshadow smudged on the side of her winged eyeliner. “Think about this. You, Y/N, a beautiful girl with absolutely no intention on going to homecoming with a date because of the lack of attraction towards snotty teenage boys, asking the Hwang Hyunjin, a transfer student that’s extremely good-looking and apparently affectionately kind who has no intention on going to homecoming with a date because of the lack of connection with beautiful girls, to homecoming.”

You blink twice, looking up at the ceiling as you quietly process her words. It’s a bit jumbled in your head, but once you think it’s clear enough, you look at her. “Ryujin. May I express my feelings about this ‘thought?’”

She scans you up and down, and then nods.

“It’s absolute bullshit.”

“Hey!”

“I hate my life,” you say to yourself as you swing open the door of your car, stepping out rather impatiently onto the asphalt. Having forgotten to grab your psychology notebook at the end of the day, you found yourself taking an unwanted U-turn back to the school to pick it up; in your defense, you would rather maintain your A in the class even if you had to stop by the gas station on your way back. Like you were told, a class requires commitment.

You march your way into the school once again, wondering why the school officials never thought to add any precautionary measures to the buildings. It makes you wonder if someone had ever snuck onto campus since you were a freshman. From the very deep memories of your sophomore year, you remember a junior at that time sneaking in one of his friends during finals week thinking he’d get away with it. Honestly, Juyeon was something else.

Just as you make your way to your locker, you quietly scroll through your phone distractedly before seeing a text pop up in your infamous group chat.

[3:05 p.m.] chaechaer: guess what guys!! :D

[3:05 p.m.] praying mantis: don’t wanna guess

[3:05 p.m.] hwangji: she’s finally getting dick 

[3:05 p.m.] chaechaer: i’ll fucking bite you yeji.

[3:06 p.m.] hwangji: bite me baby i wanna see you try

[3:06 p.m.] you: spill c’mon

[3:07 p.m.] praying mantis: y/n.

[3:07 p.m.] praying mantis: why are you at school right now

[3:07 p.m.] chaechaer: gasp

[3:07 p.m.] chaechaer: looks like i’m not the only one getting dick

[3:08 p.m.] you: oh fuck off, i came back bc i forgot something

[3:08 p.m.] you: wait did you just say ‘not the only one’

[3:09 p.m.] hwangji: so you ARE getting dick???

[3:09 p.m.] hwangji: spill mf, right now

[3:09 p.m.] you: ryujin, are you checking my snap location rn??? hello?? 

[3:10 p.m.] praying mantis: ofc i am, i’m your guardian angel :)

[3:10 p.m.] you: you’re a stalker

[3:10 p.m.] praying mantis: but whose dick are you getting? that’s the real question 

You roll your eyes as hard as you can, hoping that your best friend would know even from a distance. Just as you continue to tap furiously into the glass of your phone, you’re suddenly hit by your left shoulder, sending you flying down to the ground in an instant. “Shit,” you whisper under your breath, brushing your hair out of your eyes well enough to look up and see that the hard object you just ran into wasn’t a wall. In fact, it was a human.

“Watch where you’re going,” the boy snaps at you, rather loudly in fact, making you flinch as you slowly stand up, gathering your phone. “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t on your phone. Who walks in a hallway with their head down like that? Do you want to die?”

It takes you a minute to realize who’s actually standing in front of you, and it’s only when you’ve managed to gulp down his harsh words. Seo Changbin. He looks at you from head to toe, the scowl still evident on his face when your eyes widen. Suddenly, you’re a little more aware of yourself, shifting uncomfortably in his gaze as he doesn’t move. 

“Well?” He crosses his arms across his chest, now approaching you. “I don’t hear an apology.”

You instinctively back away, avoiding the boy’s eyes before you’re looking right back into them. If you weren’t mistaken, there was no one in front of you until there was, and there was no way that you could’ve ran into someone without noticing their presence earlier. Scoffing, you mimic his posture, looking behind him to see if you’re right about your assumption. In fact, you are, seeing the door of the locker room staring right back at you. “Me? Shouldn’t you be watching where you’re going?”

Changbin looks taken aback by your retaliation, somehow making his forehead lines fall into a straight line. “Don’t talk back to me, bitch.”

“Bitch?” You want to laugh, but instead, you press a smile down. “Seriously? Who do you think you are?”

You’re honestly appalled at the way the admired swimmer is acting towards you, but you’re not surprised. You would be lying if you didn’t say you weren’t in the faintest surprised. The entire team could act like a handful of bullies that didn’t have any other free time on their hands, if you looked into it more. Changbin seems to be dissatisfied with your answer, closing in on you as your back presses against the wall. 

“What did you say to me?” 

You’re about to respond with an equally harsh answer but there’s a sudden call of Changbin’s name from the end of the hallway, making the both of you turn your heads. Yet another swimming team member comes jogging your way, sporting a school branded shirt that tells you exactly what he’s part of. The boy stops a few feet away from the two of you, a large smile spreading across his face as he looks from Changbin to you. You scratch your head. Is Bang Chan currently standing in front of you? Or was it just a figment of your imagination?

“Hi! What’s your name?” He asks, coming closer before glancing over at Changbin and stopping. “W-What? Wait, what? What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Changbin defends immediately, making you raise an eyebrow as he holds up his palms. “I didn’t! Nothing happened, Chan. It’s all good. Let’s just go now.”

Chan doesn’t budge when he grabs onto his arm, tugging to pull him away, but he instead focuses his attention on you. His smile persists. “Hi sweetheart, judging from the look on your face, he did do something, right?”

You’re taken aback at his soft voice, a complete contrast from what you just heard from the other boy. Pursing your lips, you try not to let your cheeks flame up. Sweetheart? “It’s nothing—he just ran into me and tried to pin the whole thing on me—it’s all good, really. I’m fine, I didn’t get hurt. So…”

“You didn’t get hurt? But he ran into you?” Chan shoots Changbin a sharp look, one that looks much darker than the gaze he returns to you. “Are you okay? It might’ve been a hard fall. I can take you to the nurse’s office, if you’d like?”

“N-No, it’s fine!” You shake your hands in refusal, an awkward chuckle leaving your lips. Chan only laughs brightly in response, his entire face somehow appearing ten times more charming than before. You notice with another fleeting glimpse that there are dimples that crease into his skin as he smiles, now making your heart do an unidentifiable leap inside your chest. “Um, okay, I actually have to go now! I’ll, uh, yeah! Bye!”

You turn in your heel, trying to walk at a casual but extremely quick pace at the same time, which proves to be difficult. Just as you’re about to turn at the corner, there’s a shout from down the hall.

“Hey!” Peaking your head back, you see Chan waving his hand at you. “What’s your name?!”

“Y/N!”

“Nice to meet you Y/N! I hope to see you around!”

Gulping, you lean back against one of the lockers near yours, placing a hand over your chest as you finally notice the thumping. You take a deep breath, shaking your head a few times to get the entire situation out of your head; it doesn’t work, not with your brain taking you back to that exact moment once again. You just spoke to one, no, scratch that, two extremely talented swimming players with your own two eyes. And perhaps the rapid beating of your heart wasn’t just because one of them was being nice to you. But you wouldn’t admit that now, would you?

dear y/n love,

hi hi! i’ve missed talking to you (yes, i know, there’s no way you can respond to me, but anyway), but this letter will be unfortunately short today. please don’t think too much of it! my class is about to end, haha.

i saw you at one of the swimming meets a few days ago, and oh my god, i really couldn’t take my eyes off of you. i don’t know if anyone has ever told you, y/n, but you are so beautiful. i remember what you were wearing; was it...a black shirt? and jeans, oh yes. your sense of style is so simple yet somehow so perfect. i couldn’t even take my eyes off of you, oh god, i remember all my friends yelling at me to pay attention but all i was doing was staring at you. sounds like a problem, huh? but i enjoy it. shit, this sounds kinda creepy again, doesn’t it? i’m so sorry, love, that’s not what i was going for. i just...really admire you. a lot.

also, the homecoming game is this weekend! i hope you end up going, you can even go with your friend! the blue-haired one, yeah, ryujin, i think. that’s her name, right? oh god, you probably think i’m even weirder now that i just told you that i know your friend. fuck. anyway. 

once again, i hope to see you there! there’s something waiting for you there and i want to be able to surprise you, even if i don’t want to reveal my identity just yet. see you soon, love.

signed, jay

[loseeverythingloose]

Hi. I made this challenge myself, and I'm challenging myself bc that's what happens when you are fucking alone and have no friends.

Warning: It contains no workout since I'm so fucking busy with online classes that I can't go out or workout at home.

OK, so, yeah, this is officially the simplest shit to ever exist, but DON'T ever think it will be that easy to apply it to your life.

30 DAY CUSTOM WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE

I will only write what I'm not supposed to do. Drink water, sleep enough if not well, and shit like that don't even need to be written down.

Rules:

No packaged and/or prepared food and drinks. I have realized it's literally impossible for people of my financial level to buy organic food. If this rule was no PROCESSED food, I'd literally need to stop eating very essential stuff like cheese. Fucking cheese. I'm not even talking about tea. Wtf am I gonna eat and drink then? So, I will stop eating packaged and prepared food, including all the sweets, candies, chocolate, fast food, no escape. I'm only allowed to eat what is cooked at home, also fruits and such. No sugar coffee, green or white tea, etc., are also allowed. You get the idea: As long as it doesn't exceed my calorie and carbs limit, everything that is not packaged and/or HIGHLY processed is free real estate.

No more than 1500 calories and 100 g carbs. Look, I'm the max 500 cal and 20 g carb type of gal, and I lost so much weight doing it, but then I plateaued for so fucking long I had to stop and eat like a pig to shock my body. Then, of course, I couldn't bring myself to restart. Thank whatever big guy resides upstairs, I didn't gain much, but this pig phase has been going on for like 3 months. Yeah, I fucking binged for 3 fucking months straight. Now that my body is used to high calories and carbs, 1500 calories and 100 g carbs WILL be pretty effective to lose weight. There is absolutely NO REASON to start with extreme restricting because your body will adapt to that too in time. You won't be PHYSICALLY able to restrict more. When you also consider that it's harder to lose weight the more you lose weight, why start with 100% when you can start with 50% and leave the 100% performance for lower weights to lose even more? I'm not even gonna get into the "it's more healthy" shit and lecture you. You already know it. I can, of course, eat a lot less than this too. It's just the max.

No eating before 12 pm and after 8 pm, and in between. It's gonna be strictly two meals. When I was doing the 500 cal, 20 g carb thing, I wouldn't eat anything after 6 pm, but because of my new schedule, that seems impossible. Finishing to eat early or eating a bit later while still leaving AT LEAST 6 hours between my two meals is completely fine. I'll also note down everything I eat and drink. It helps me with self-control.

No big portions. Now that I'm living with my family because of the pandemic, I trust my mom on this. No second plates, no adding on; my meal size is whatever she makes it. Eating less is welcome.

No scale. I admit this is the hardest rule. I'm used to weighing myself every day. I first thought I would at least go on the scale once a week to motivate myself, but I decided to trust the process. I know I'm not doing workouts or something. Still, I just came out of a huge binge and am also using a pill that's supposed to help me lose weight (it's not its primary purpose but its positive side effect, and I'm using it for a very different reason under medical supervision, so if anyone that's not me sees this, don't ask me the name of the pill). For these reasons, I genuinely believe I WILL lose weight, and that's why I'm not gonna do it hardcore. Persistence and continuity are more important than weekly motivation and stressful waiting until the scale day. I will weigh myself on the first day of the challenge and after the challenge ends (not the 30th day). I hope my body will slim down visibly, and I, and most importantly, my family, will notice it.

I will start the challenge tomorrow on April 5.

It's the perfect date because it's Monday (the official international diet starting date), the day I first started restricting last year (so I will also see how much weight I've lost in one year on the first day of the challenge and I hope that'll be the greatest motivation to start and keep going), and a family member of mine was born on May 5 (which is exactly 30 days later). My family cares a lot about birthdays, holidays and stuff, so on that day I have to eat cake or my family won't forgive me lol. So I thought, why not make it a celebration for myself too, for losing weight, controlling myself for a whole month WHILE ACING MY EXAMS and completing the challenge?

As I said, I will be weighing myself and taking measurements in the morning of the first day, and after the challenge is completed. I will decide my goal weight for the end of this challenge tomorrow, depending on my current weight.

I will be posting daily (as much as possible). I also don't want this shit to be only about losing weight. I will be doing 5 different challenges simultaneously: Meditation, thinspo, writing, gratitude, and song challenges.

Wish me luck! (yea, I'm asking for luck from myself bc no one's gonna see this, lmao. Who am I supposed to trust other than me anyway.)

[ninja-muse]

SUPPORT INDIE BOOKSTORES!!

Hi all! Your friendly neighbourhood book-slinger here! As you know, the Covid-19 pandemic is hitting the economy hard, small businesses especially. As you may not know, bookstores have one of the largest overheads and one of the smallest profit margins of any business ever. Many rely on foot traffic and neighbourhood support, which means if they haven’t already shut their doors due to public health measures, they’re still seeing a major drop in the number of customers and books sold—often while still needing to buy new stock and pay rent. It’s not completely dire, we’re not looking at a world without bookshops, but a lot of booksellers are genuinely worried all the same.

This is where you guys come in! If you need books right now (and I’m talking to Booklr here so there are decent odds you do), and you’ve got the money to spend, please consider hitting up an indie for them rather than a chain or exclusively online bookstore. A lot of them took online and phone orders before this year, and many are now offering curbside pick-up, lower shipping costs, and local delivery, and all of them could use your support right now. (They’re also, by and large, some of the most delightfully bookish people you’ll ever meet.)

Don’t know who your indies are? That’s what this post is for! It’s kind of skewed to my area right now because that’s what I know, but it will be updated as I get more recommendations. So please, rec your local indies to me! Add them to this post, slide into my asks, whatever’s most comfortable.

And please note that even if a store is closed and in lockdown, that does not mean you can’t place an order for when the crisis is over.

Let’s share the bookstore love!

There is now also Bookshop.org and the Save Your Bookstore app, for anyone who is interested.

Last edit: May 15, 8:50 am PST.

AUSTRALIA

Abbey’s Bookstore - Sydney. Closing on March 30. Taking online, phone, and email orders, delivering.

Crow Books - Perth. Taking phone orders, shipping.

Q’s Books - Newcastle. Window display where you can request by pointing.

Secret Bookstuff - Newcastle. Closed, taking online orders and offering phone recommendations. 15% off until end of March.

White Dwarf Books - Perth. Open to the public, Paywave preferred, taking orders for shipping

Melbourne

Alice’s Bookshop - Closed. No info about orders or shipping.

Books For Cooks - Open to public. Free next day delivery for people in isolation in local area

City Basement Books - No information.

Coventry Bookstore - No information.

Hill of Content Bookshop - Open online. Free delivery to the CBD, and shipping.

Metropolis Books - Open to the public. Offering free freight via Australia Post for online orders over $50

North Melbourne Books - Open but limited to 3 customers, offering free home delivery to North and West Melbourne.

Paperback Books - Open but closing early, taking phone, email, and online orders and shipping.

Readings - No longer accepting cash payments. Free delivery on online orders $150 and over — anywhere in Australia. 

Robinson’s Bookshop - Some stores may close early, taking online orders.

Syber’s Books - No information.

AUSTRIA

Shakespeare and Company - Vienna. Taking email orders.

CANADA

A Google Map of all indies who deliver

Alberta

The Edmonton Bookstore - Edmonton. Closed. Taking phone, online, and email orders. Updating webstore daily. Accepts Paypal.

Fair's Fair - Calgary. Closed,  taking email orders and doing curbside pick-up, credit and debit only

The Next Page - Calgary. Closed, taking online orders and delivering for free within Calgary

Pages On Kensington - Calgary. Taking phone and online orders, doing deliveries and curbside pick-up

The Wee Book Inn - Edmonton. No information.                       

British Columbia

Lower Mainland

Black Bond Books/Book Warehouse - Services and openness vary depending on location, but currently offering $5 shipping within the Lower Mainland

The Book Man - Chilliwack and Abbotsford. Closed. 

Carson Books - Vancouver. No information.

Golden Age Collectables - Vancouver. Open.

Hager Books - Vancouver. Closed. Has a webstore.

Kidsbooks - Vancouver. Closed to browsing. Online and phone orders. Curbside pickup, shipping, delivery.

Lucky’s Comics - Vancouver. No information.

MacLeod’s Books - Vancouver. No web presence

Massy Books - Vancouver. Currently open online with free delivery within Metro Vancouver and discounted rates across Canada

The Paper Hound - Vancouver. Open to the public, taking phone and email orders, offering free bike delivery

Pulp Fiction Books - Vancouver. Open to the public, taking orders online, by phone, and by Twitter, shipping daily (more details)

Tanglewood Books - Vancouver. No information.

White Dwarf Books/Dead Write Books - Vancouver. Open to the public, offers some free delivery

Y’s Books - - Vancouver. No information.

Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands

Beacon Books - Sidney. Closed, taking orders via AbeBooks, ships.

Bolen Books - Victoria. Taking phone and online orders, small window for in-store pickups, $5 shipping within BC for orders for $40

The Children’s Bookshop - Sidney. No web presence.

Coho Books - Campbell River. Taking phone, email, and online orders. Will deliver locally once a week

Galiano Island Books - Galiano Island. Closed but taking online orders. Delivery on the island free, BC shipping $5.

Galleon Books & Antiques - Sidney. No web presence.

The Haunted Bookshop - Sidney. No web presence.

Laughing Oyster Books - Courtney. Taking phone and online orders and will deliver within the Comox Valley.

The Military and History Bookshop - Sidney. No web presence.

Munro’s Books - Victoria. Closed till end of March, taking phone and online orders, $5 shipping within BC

Russell Books - Victoria. Closed, has pick-up window, offers free North American shipping with $50+ purchase with some limitations

Tanner’s Books - Sidney. Closed, taking phone and online orders, storefront pickup, $5 shipping within Capital regional district, free delivery to locals in a senior’s residence or self-isolating.

Interior

Mosaic Books - Kelowna. Closed, taking phone, email, Facebook, and online orders, free local shipping over $75, curbside pickup.

Nuthatch Books - 100 Mile House. No information.

The Open Book - Williams Lake. Phone and online orders. In-store and curbside pickup, free local delivery.

Saskatchewan and Manitoba

Bison Books - Winnepeg. Taking phone, online, email, and DM orders. Free local delivery or curbside pickup, with delivery available at cost everywhere else in the world. Accepts Paypal and e-transfer.

McNally Robinson - Winnepeg and Saskatoon. Closed but open by appointment. Taking phone and online orders, offering curbside pickup, next day Winnipeg delivery as low as $5, shipping across Canada

Ontario

Attic Books - London. Closed to at least April 13. Taking phone, email, DM, and online orders. Processing phone payments. Curbside pickup.

Bakka-Phoenix Books - Toronto. Closed to public until April 5. Online orders.

Brown and Dickson - London. Closed. Taking online and social media orders, considering free delivery within London. Seels gift cards.

Quebec

Argo Bookshop - Montreal. Open. Phone and online orders, curbside pickup, shipping. Selling gift certificates. Events have moved online and are starting a discussion series. Partnered with Libro.fm.

Babar Books - Montreal. Closed, taking online orders. Free shipping for West Island. $7.00 flat rate for Greater Montreal.

Librairie Drawn & Quarterly - Montreal. Closed, taking online orders, shipping, curbside pickup. Partnered with Libro.fm. Has launched an online storytime, runs an online book club.

Northwest Territories

Yellowknife Books - Currently taking online and phone orders with curb-side drop-off, also ships

FRANCE

Shakespeare and Company - Paris. Closed. Taking online orders but shipping later. Sells vouches and subscriptions.

IRELAND

Gutter Bookshop - Dublin. Closed at least to March 31. Online and email orders, shipping worldwide. Free postage within Ireland over €30. Sells vouchers.

ISRAEL

Holzer Books - Jerusalem. Appears to have updates in Hebrew.

Danny Books - Jerusalem. No information.

THE NETHERLANDS

The American Book Center - Amsterdam and the Hague. Closed for browsing today. Still taking web orders, handling emails and answering the phone. Free shipping in Netherlands over €20.

THE UNITED KINGDOM

Blackwells - Chain, but a good one.

Book-Ish - Crickhowell, Wales. Closed. Taking online orders. Has an outside donation box for toiletries for NHS staff. Recommending books on Twitter.

Ryde Bookshop - Isle of Wight. No information.

Topping & Company - Closed. Taking online, email, and phone orders, and shipping.

England

Chicken and Frog - Brentwood, Essex. Closed. Email orders. Online events. Home deliveries.

Daunt Books - London. Closed. Not currently taking orders.

Five Leaves Bookshop - Nottingham. Closed. Onlne and email orders, free postage and direct delivery from suppliers. Building a webstore and planning online events. Accepts PayPal and National Book Tokens.

Foyles - London. Closed. Online orders. Free UK standard delivery. Has subscription packages. Events cancelled until the end of May.

Gay’s The Word - London. Closed. Not currently taking orders.

Mostly Books - Abingdon-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. Closed.Taking phone, email, online, and social media orders. £3 postage except for large orders. Accepts PayPal and BACS.

Mr B’s Emporium - Bath. “Non-contact open.” Email and phone orders. Has sections on their website for recommendations and suggestions. Has gift vouches and reading subscriptions. Until March 31, £2 postage for 1st class, £1.50 for 2nd class. After that, free shipping over £30. Launching a Youtube channel.

Persephone Books - London. Closed. Online orders, but cannot ship due to lockdown.

Sevenoaks Bookshop - Sevenoaks, Kent. Closed. Online and email orders. Very limited hand-delivery. Shipping from suppliers.

Tales on Moon Lane - London. Closed. Email orders. Delivering. Giving recommendations.

Warwick Books - Warwick. Closed. Phone, email, and social media orders. Shipping from warehouse. Accepts bank transfer and PayPal. Has gift subscriptions and vouchers.

Scotland

Edinburgh Bookshop - Edinburgh. Closed. Taking online, email, and phone orders. Deliveries paused, but still shipping.

Golden Hare Books- Edinburgh. Closed. Taking online, email, and phone orders. Free local delivery, UK shipping for £2.50.

Lighthouse Bookshop - Edinburgh. Closed. Taking online, email, and phone orders, shipping as low as £2. Starting an online newsletter for bookstore vibes. Setting up a system where people in danger from domestic violence can ‘order a book’ and they will then alert the relevant local services to provide help.

Transreal Fiction - Closed. Not currently taking orders.

THE UNITED STATES

California

Alley Cat Bookshop and Gallery - San Francisco. Closed. Taking orders on Bookshop.org for direct home shipping. Sells gift certificates. Has a Patreon and a GoFundMe.

Books Inc./Compass Books - Bay Area. Closed. Online orders, free shipping.

Booksmart - Morgan Hill. Open, taking orders, curbside pickup. Home delivery within 3 miles, shipping $3.99 or free over $25. Providing gloves to browsers.

Borderlands Books - San Francisco. Closed, filling mail orders.

City Lights - San Francisco. Closed. Unable to directly fill online orders but lists with Bookshop.org.

Dog Eared Books - San Francisco. Valencia location in store to take your calls between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. every weekday. Taking orders on Bookshop.org for direct home shipping, and online orders in store. Sells gift certificates. Has a GoFundMe.

Green Apple Books - San Francisco. Closed. Taking online orders. Free shipping on orders over $25. Partnered with Libro.fm. Is selling “Stay Home Read Books” shirts and gift cards.

The Last Bookstore - Los Angeles. Open by appointment, taking online and emails orders, offering curated gift bags, still accepting donations and buying used books

Leigh’s Favorite Books - Sunnyvale. Closed. Online reservations. Contactless local delivery. Accepting direct donations.

Omnivore Books - San Francisco. Closed. Phone and online orders. Limited pick-up hours. Shipping.

Recycle Bookstore - Campbell and San Jose. No information.

A Shop Called Quest - Phone orders, curbside pick up, shipping options. Also selling gift cards

Skylight Books - Los Angeles. Taking online orders and shipping with limitations.

Vroman's Bookstore - Pasadena. Online orders under $75 for shipping only. Partnered with Libro.fm, MyMustRead, and Corkcicle. Selling gift cards and taking financial donations.

Connecticut

That Book Store - Wethersfield. Open. Curbside pickup, free delivery available. Partnered with Libro.fm. Has a GoFundMe.

Florida

Vero Beach Book Center - Vero Beach. Open for curbside pickup. Still giving recommendations and retrieving in-store stock.

Georgia

Book Nook - Decatur. Open.

Eagle Eye Books - Decatur. Closed to browsing. Taking online and phone orders, curbside pickup.

Little Shop Of Stories - Decatur. Closed to customers until April 8, but allowing store pickup. Online and phone orders. Free home delivery in 30030 and neighboring zip codes. Partnered with Libro.fm.

Tall Tales - Decatur. Open.

Illinois

57th Street Books - Closed. Taking online orders.

Anderson’s Bookshop - Naperville, Downers Grove, and LaGrange. Online orders temporarily suspected due to volume. Downers Grove taking phone orders and has curbside pickup. Sells gift cards. Has a GoFundMe and is partnered with Libro.fm.

The Book Table - Oak Park. Closed. Direct shipping from distributor. Selling gift cards. Answering emails.

Bookie's New and Used Books - Chicago. Closed for in-store browsing. Taking online orders. Delivery within five-mile radius, curbside pickup. Also sells through Bookshop.org and is partnered with Libro.fm. Sells gift cards and ebooks.

Myopic Bookstore - Chicago. Closed.

Quimby’s - Closed at least to end of March. March and April events cancelled. Taking online, email, and phone orders, shipping, curbside pickup. Offering recommendations on Zoom.

Powell’s Books - Chicago. No information but takes online orders.

Sandmeyer’s - Chicago. Closed. Taking phone and email orders.

The Scarlet Page - Oregon. Closed. Doing curbside delivery. Selling book bundles at flat prices. Has a GoFundMe.

Unabridged Bookstore - Chicago. Closed to the public. Taking online orders, shipping. Sells gift cards.

Women & Children First - Chicago. Closed until May 1. Taking online orders and shipping. Preorders available. Partnered with Libro.fm. Doing poetry events on Instagram and other virtual events elsewhere.    

Iowa

Prairie Lights - Iowa City. Closed to the public. Taking phone and online orders. Free local delivery, curbside pickup, shipping free over $50 within the continental US.

Kansas

Book-a-Holic Bookstore - Wichita. Open, offering curbside pickup.

Eighth Day Books - Wichita. Taking orders and shipping.

Rainy Day Books - Fairway. Open. Taking phone and online orders. $5 priority mail under $75, free shipping over $75. Offering phone recommendations.

Raven Book Store - Lawrence. Taking email and online orders. Free local delivery. $1 shipping across the US. Has book subscriptions.

Watermark Books and Cafe - Wichita. Open. Taking online orders, $3 shipping within continental US, curbside delivery of books and food. Sells eBooks and audiobooks.

Kentucky

Nanny Goat Books - Louisville. No information.

Maryland

The Book Escape - Baltimore. Closed. Taking orders, shipping daily, offering free delivery.

 The Book Thing of Baltimore - Baltimore. Closed. Soliciting ideas for safely giving away books during social distancing and looking for satellite bookshelves. Accepting financial donations.

The Ivy Bookshop - Towson. Closed. Taking phone and online orders, shipping, offering phone recommendations.

Massachusetts

Brookline Booksmith - Boston. Closed. Taking phone and online orders, shipping. Recommendations on social media.

Harvard Book Store - Boston. Closed until April 7. Online orders. Shipping. Offers print-on-demand services. Events cancelled.

More Than Words - Boston and Waltham. Stores and events currently closed. Still accepting book donations.

Trident Booksellers and Cafe - Boston. Store and cafe closed to public. Events cancelled. Shipping within US. Food delivery and pick-up. Sells gift cards and partnered with Libro.fm.

Wellesley Books - Wellesley. Taking online orders, direct shipping from distributor. Partnered with Libro.fm. Sells gift cards.

Michegan

Bookbug and This Is A Bookstore - Kalamazoo. Closed, taking orders, providing reading lists. Has launched a book subscription service and is accepting donations.

Kazoo Books - Kalamazoo. No information.

Literati Bookstore - Ann Arbor. Closed until April 13. Processing current orders and sending incoming orders through a distributor that ships. Has a GoFundMe.

Minnesota

Dreamhaven Books - Minneapolis. Open, taking phone and email orders, $10 care package within the US.

Excelsior Bay Books - Twin Cities. Closed for browsing. Taking online and phone orders, giving phone recommendations, curb-side pickup, shipping. Selling audiobooks and gift certificates.

Red Balloon Bookstore - Twin Cities. Closed. Giving recommendations by phone. Parking lot pick-up, free shipping, orders $20 free delivery in neighbourhood.

Wild Rumpus Bookstore - Twin Cities. Closed. Taking online orders, offering curbside pickup, free shipping or delivery on orders over $10.

Mississippi

Lemuria Books - Jackson. Taking online and phone orders, offering curbside pick-up and shipping. 

Montana

Vargo’s Jazz City and Books - Bozeman. No information.

Country Bookshelf - Bozeman. Closed to browsing. Open for pick-up orders, prefers curb delivery, local delivery, or shipping. $1 shipping nationwide. Taking online and phone orders, acting as personal shoppers.

Isle of Books AKA Used Book Emporium - Bozeman. Open. Taking phone and online orders. Curbside pickup and shipping. Doing short readings on Facebook.

New Jersey

Words Bookstore - Maplewood. Events postponed to April 25. No other information. Has webstore.

The Book House - Millburn. Online orders. Selling subscriptions, gift cards, and gift baskets. Offering email recommendations. Partnered with Libro.fm.

New York

Bluestockings - NYC. No information, has webstore.

The Book House of Stuyvestant Plaza/Market Block Books - Albany. Closed. Events to be rescheduled. Online orders, direct shipping from distributors. Partnered with Libro.fm.

Book Culture - NYC. Some locations closed, all closed to browsing. Taking online orders, shipping. Pickups uncertain. International shipping. Buyback suspecting but accepting book donations.

Books of Wonder - NYC. Offering digital storytime.

The Corner Bookstore - NYC. Events cancelled through April. Phone and email orders, free local delivery. Customizes gift baskets. Allows customers to open an account. Sells gift certificates.

Dashwood Books - NYC. No information

Greenlight Bookstore - Brooklyn. Closed to the public. Online orders shipping from supplier, free over $100.

Housing Works - NYC. Bookstore and cafe closed. Clinics still open. Taking financial donations for the organization as a whole. Sells gift cards.

Kitchen Arts and Letters - NYC. Closed. Filling phone and mail orders.

The Lit Bar - NYC. Online orders, shipping, curbside pickup by appointment. Partnered with Libro.fm.

Midtown Comics - NYC - Open, taking online orders, currently running a 20% off everything sale until March 31st

The Mysterious Bookshop - NYC. Closed. Shipping all orders when business ban lifted.

Revolution Books - NYC. Closed to public. Still providing information and analysis, and online programming.

Shakespeare & Co. - NYC. No information, but webstore and free shipping.

Spoonbill and Sugartown - NYC. Taking email orders and shipping.

The Strand - NYC. Closed, taking online orders.

Three Lives and Company - NYC. Closed and not currently processing orders.

North Carolina

The Book Lady - Munroe. No information.

Bookmarks - Winston-Salem. Taking phone and online orders including preorders, curbside pickup, free shipping over $25. Offers memberships, gift cards, and subscriptions. Partnered with Libro.fm, sells ebooks. Taking donations.

The Captain’s Bookshelf - Asheville. No information.

Epilogue Book Cafe - Chapel Hill. Closed. Online orders, $3 shipping. Partnered with Libro.fm

Firestorm Co-op - Asheville. Open. Taking online orders. Events cancelled till end of March. $1 shipping.

Flyleaf Books - Chapel Hill. Closed. Online and phone orders, curbside pickup and $1 shipping through April.

Island Books - Kitty Hawk. No specific information but does online orders.

Malaprops Bookstore/Cafe - Asheville. Online and phone orders. Events and book clubs suspended to May 15. Home delivery throughout Buncombe Country with two book minimum, free shipping over $50 and free delivery downtown, curbside pickup. Exploring subscription services and digital content. Directing donations to the Book Industry Charitable Foundation (BINC)

Quail Ridge Books - Raleigh. Closed to the public Weds and Thurs. Taking online orders. All March events cancelled. Free media mail shipping to continental US.

The Regulator - Durham. Closed to customers. Phone and online orders. Curbside pickup, reduced shipping nationwide. Sells gift certificates.

Ohio

The Book Loft - Columbus. Closed till April 6. Taking online orders, shipping for $4.99.  

Oregon

Black Sun Books - Eugene. No information but putting their stock online.   

The Book Bin - Corvallis and Albany. Open. Phone orders. Free home delivery and curbside pickup.

Browser’s Books - Corvallis and Albany. Closed to public, open by appointment. Taking phone, email, and messaging orders, and posting shelfies for online browsing. Free shipping in Oregon over $15. Curbside pick-up.

Dudley's Bookshop Cafe - Bend. Closed. Taking email and Facebook orders, doing deliveries. Partnered with Libro.fm.

Grass Roots Books - Corvallis. Faking phone and online orders. Free shipping, curbside pickup. Launching an “Irregular” newsletter.

J Micheal's Books - Eugene. Closed, curbside and local home delivery.

Powell’s Books - Portland. Closed through April. Free shipping for over $25

Smith Family Bookstore - Eugene. Closed. Taking phone and online orders, allows pickup, also shipping.

Tsunami Books - Eugene. Taking phone, email, website, online, and Facebook orders. Curbside pickup. Accepts checks and cash. Free shipping anywhere in the US.              

Pennsylvania

Towne Book Center & Wine Bar - Collegeville.  Closed. Online orders. Free standard shipping in the US. Sells gift cards. Partnered with Libro.fm and MyMustReads. Some book clubs meeting digitally.

Tennessee

Parnassus Books - Nashville. Closed to public. Taking and shipping orders. Events cancelled until April 10.

Vermont

Star Cat Books - Bradford. No information. Takes donations.

Washington

Brick and Mortar Books - Redmond. Closed. Taking online orders.

The Elliott Bay Book Company - Seattle. Closed until March 31, taking phone and online orders, taking curbside pickup, limited home delivery, free delivery for over $50, free shipping within US.

Imprint Books - Port Townsend. Closed to browsers until March 31. Taking phone and email orders. Direct-to-home shipping for $2, free over $30. Giving recommendations. Partnered with Libro.fm. April writing workshops now on Zoom.

Left Bank Books - Seattle. Closed to the public. Taking phone and online orders (including for store credit), shipping daily.

Lion Heart Books  - Seattle. No information.

Magus Books - Seattle. Closed as of March 26. Taking phone and email orders, shipping

Main Street Books - Monroe. Closed to browsing. Stock listed on spreadsheet, Amazon. and Bookshop.org. Free shipping. 20% off gift cards.

Mercer Street Books - Seattle. No information.

Ophelia's Books - Seattle. Closed to the public. Available for phone or email orders that can be shipped or picked up during limited hours.

Secret Garden Books - Seattle. Closed until at least April 7 and not processing orders until then.

Third Place Books - Seattle. Taking orders, free shipping to March 31.

Twice Sold Tales - Seattle. Open weekends, selling gift certificates, has a GoFundMe

Uppercase Bookshop - Snohomish. Closed to browsing. Taking online orders. Shipping and delivery. Sells gift cards. Partnered with Libro.fm and MyMustReads.

William James Bookseller  - Port Townsend. Closed.         

ONLINE-ONLY

Absinthe Books

[nototherwisespecified]

tagged by @bostonpridehockey ty 💖 50 questionssss

1) what is the color of your hairbrush? I don’t hhhhhhhave one yet in this go-round of having hair that can’t be effectively measured in millimeters but I’m looking at one that’s natural bamboo (yes I like.... research... hairbrushes & other items before purchase, it’s a thing)

2) name a food you never eat? more interesting to me are things I have never eaten: squid ink anything, a moon cake, pandan chiffon cake, insert about 40 other SEA desserts friends from singapore have talked about, ramen that isn’t instant. the stuff I can’t eat is also a list, very long, but it sucks so I’m ignoring it

3) are you typically too warm or too cold? I run cold

4) what were you doing 45 mins ago? reading Dune & trying not to think

5) what's your favorite candy bar? paydays. ohhh my god. or butterfingers, I have a whole process that is apparently disgusting, whatever,

6) have you ever been to a professional sports game? my last was the nwhl all star game :)

7) what was the last thing you said out loud? ....something for a german duolingo lesson. “was werden wir essen” ????

8) what is your favorite ice cream? the best non-dairy ice cream I’ve ever tried is Cado & the deepest darkest chocolate flavor is my jam. need to try other flavors

9) what was the last thing you had to drink? water, filtered, refrigerated

10) do you like your wallet? I have two, a bright green leather women’s wallet that’s starting to fall apart, & a little ripstop coin pouch with a design that says COFFEE: THE LAST CHEAP DRUG on it. I like both but prefer the little dude bc it fits in a pocket

11) what was the last thing you ate? rice krispies

12) did you buy any new clothing last weekend? yes. ???

13) what’s the last sporting event you watched? scf game 5

14) what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? ya gremlin can’t eat popcorn

15) who was the last person you sent a text to? mi madre w/ like a thumbs-up emoji SEVERAL days ago

16) ever go camping? three years in a row & twice in the first year between ages 20 & 22. but, like, I was pitching a tent at hippie prom in the woods & at a training camp for circus arts 

17) do you take your vitamins? all of them

18) do you regularly attend a place of worship? нет

19) do you have a tan? nein

20) do you prefer Chinese or pizza? chinese has more variety! but I do NOT trust chinese food in my new locale. would you? it’s south of the mason-dixon in the middle of a bunch of historical colonial sites. WOULD you?

21) do you drink soda through straws? I have an entire complex about straws because I dated a piece of shit in high school. don’t date pieces of shit in high school, kids

22) what color socks do you usually wear? I ... don’t, & when I do they are of many colors

23) do you ever drive above the speed limit? when I drove, yes. when I drive again, soon, probably also yes

24) what terrifies you? like, being alive at current time in current sociopolitical environment not to mention pandemic. my own brain. climate change, global poverty, the ease with which westerners accept the US driving violent regime changes in countries that don’t need it, & finally, when I am wearing socks & step in something wet that is also warm

25) look to you left, what do you see? the hot pink sparkly lace mess that is my loffs knitting

26) what chore do you hate the most? all of them

27) what do you think when you hear an Australian accent? What Strange Slang Will I Look Up Now

28) what's your favorite soda? coke normal

29) do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I make other people take me to drive-thrus bc I am a princess. thanks

30) what's your favorite number? 2

31) who's the last person you talked to? irl, моя мама; online, thetrashpitals

32) favorite cut of beef? tom wilson

33) last song you listened to? (am listening to) Demons by sleigh bells

34) last book you read? still slogging through Dune. before that, Spell or High Water, which is much funnier than would be suggested by the author having gained some measure of name recognition through .... scott adams ... (the guy who draws dilbert the comic & is also so conservative he’s essentially moving backward)

35) favorite day of the week? friday. it’s the only one I can recognize anymore. thanks, gators daily, for flat fuck friday

36) can you say the alphabet backwards? “the alphabet backwards” but also yes if I’m not trying to set speed records

37) how do you like your coffee? cream always, sugar optional

38) favorite pare of shoes? docs

39) time you normally get up? “normally” lol. between 9 & noon

40) do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunrise but usually from the wrong end

41) describe your kitchen plates? Not Mine

42) how many blankets on your bed? five. there’d be more if I could be bothered finding them

43) describe your kitchen at the moment? Not Mine

44) do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? gin & tonic with cardamom bitters or scotch neat

45) do you play cards? no

46) what color is your car? n/a

47) can you change a tire? nope

48) favorite state? still MA

49) favorite job you’ve had? current. fixing people’s research writing is my niche. this hole was made for me dot meme

50) I tag: anyone who wants to do the thing

[ontochristine]

02.01.21

Two weeks since EK’s birthdate. I had hoped to write this sooner, while things were still fresh, but I’m learning that newborn care takes a lot of attention!

To recap my labor & delivery...

My EDD was 1/29. Up until January’s Kaiser appointments, EK had been measuring a little larger so we all thought he’d come sooner. Then Jan’s appointments showed he was back on track. It was both good and disappointing news. Work picked up after the holidays and my coordinator just started, so I needed the time to catch her up and get things in order. On the flip side, at 37 going on 38 weeks, I was really uncomfortable; sleeping horribly, back hurting, eating endlessly, etc. In other words, I was ready for baby to come out asap. By mid-Jan, DK & I figured baby would come closer to his EDD, whereas before DK figured he’d come around 2 weeks early and I thought he’d come 1 week early.

Fridays became my favorite days of the week while pregnant because 1) end of work week, 2) our takeout day and 3) sleep aid night (sleeping was awful during pregnancy and the sleep aid helped me get one full night of rest). So Friday, I wound down and went to bed between 9-10pm, while DK played DOTA in the second bedroom per usual. Sat am, I woke up with a spreading warmth waist down. I thought at first maybe I had like triple the layer of blankets in that area until I felt the wetness with my hands. Then thought to myself, “Is this my water breaking?” So I started to yell for DK but he was knocked out. I waddled my way to the bathroom, stripped, washed off my body & my PJ pants. At this point, I figured, “Well who knows how urgent this is. I’ll wake up DK after I’ve called Kaiser.” So I call, they advise to come to hospital as soon as possible - but no crazy rush - and I wake up DK, who doesn’t leap to his feet but more annoyed/groggy haha. This man doesn’t like to be woken up anyway. Knowing we have time, I put on makeup (I admit it! I’m vain!), try to figure out how to stop the leaking with the limited pads I have, and start packing last few things into the hospital bag. Then I eat an apple and write Janice’s bday card (whyyy do I irrelevant things during times like this). We finally head out and because of COVID, only I walk into the hospital where I’m seen in the triage area. Since it’s so early (before 8a), the hospital is really quiet and a Korean nurse comes to see me. I count both these things as God’s hand over me :) She chatters on and on about this and that and tells me that DK should definitely bring up snacks and it’ll be a while. So I send DK to Costco and he ends up coming to the hospital around 1p, after I’ve moved to the L&D unit.

The medical staff administered pitocin around 11a (?) and from 11a-4p, we just waited for the contractions to build up. Started a new show called Cobra Kai and ate the popsicles from the hospital. ALSO important to note that I sent DK to buy snacks in the am and then we later found out once Pitocin is in my system, I can’t eat solids until baby is out. I had like 8 popsicles over the course of waiting. Anyway, come 4p, the contractions were painful enough to request the epidural and by then, I started crying from the pain. It was just like the miscarriage contractions. I think the reminder of that mc coupled with the new pain made it an emotional experience for me again. The tears wet my mask, I muffled my gasps bc of the nurses and I was embarrassed, and my mind was just blank from the pain. I don’t know how women deliver without the epidural!! With the epidural hooked up and several tubes and devices on me, the pain subsided but around 6-7p, a bunch of nurses and doctors stormed into our room saying “baby is a little grumpy so we’re gonna do XYZ”. One staff member started reading off C-section risks to me to get my verbal consent, others tried to get me into an all-fours position, while another put an oxygen mask on me. I think the oxygen mask really freaked me out. Meanwhile DK was off to the side just watching and I didn’t say anything. Eventually things calmed down, we didn’t need the C-section and DK & I agreed that some calmer context would have helped haha. We waited overnight to dilate fully and by 5am on Sunday, we were ready to go! After pushing for 5 minutes, EK was born (cone-shaped and blue) and my first words were, “What the heck!” Once we cleaned up, it hit me how freaking adorable he was. DK sent photos and messages to both families and that was that!

As the epidural wore off and the catheter removed , I was introduced to the wonderful & embarrassing world of urinary incontinence. Almost immediately, I wet myself (a lot!) and the nurses had to tend to me. Thankfully, I heard, read or watched YT videos about this so I was pretty shameless about it. Like, what can I do? I have no control! We got moved to the post partum unit before Sunday noon which was slightly smaller and there, we had a nurse or doctor check on us or EK every other hour. Going to the bathroom every three hours to prevent serious leaking was annoying and the IV became super painful, since I started to move around and hold EK. I was on email for about an hour, canceling & consolidating meetings, and crafting my final week at work message. I decided I needed one more week (even while EK was here) to transition everything smoothly and feel at peace, which is another way of saying “I know it’s unconventional but this is how I want to do things!” I finally checked my phone - not sure why, but I hated the thought of texting or holding conversations during the L&B/pp time. I think I was just exhausted. I slept so poorly with the nurses coming to check on me every hour from the night before and I was just mentally and physically off. 

Come Monday am and with the prospects of going home soon, I felt better and Facetimed umma & appa. When I got wheeled Covid with EK in my arms, the nurse covered his face with the swaddle...covid things to recall years from now. Finally, we got home! And as we lifted EK out from the carseat, DK & I were both kind of amazed. “It’s like we went shopping and came back with a baby!” And the first few nights, of just me and DK, were so special. Just figuring it out. Powered by adrenaline and burning desire to do things right for our baby.

On night 2, EK’s circumcision bandaid had come undone and hung onto his skin by a thread. We didn’t know what to do, since we were told this & that about the circumcision healing process. Anyway, we decided to pull it off and EK’s cries broke me - and I’m pretty sure it tore at DK too. We knew it was already painful for EK but the sight of the swelling, bright red part + his crying was too much for these two new parents. I cried and cried and cried haha. But to conclude the whole circumcision story, after about 1 week of careful tending, he is fully and perfectly healed :)

[queenofallwitches]

Venus trine MC, my MC lies in Saturn and Saturn is in 9th house Aquarius.

Saturn Return, and my Soul Journey into 12th house Sun conjunct Mercury (in Aries) bound by the 12th house Shadow Secrets. Jupiter is Leo and Mars is softened by my conjunct cancer moon, both in my 3rd house. The kicker is Chiron simultaneously sitting over in my wounded goddess divine feminine Luna moon compelling me to build a home, a base and a clan of like minded souls. cancer and Chiron sit together and Chiron is akin to the wounded healer. I have a complex but alchemical natal make up and its been 6 years of accepting the square and oppositions in difficult places to come to terms to work with my natal astrology in a way I can become creatively involved in.

23/3/20 initiated the formal induction of my Saturn return as saturn transited to Aquarius for the first time since 92/93.

It’s a taste of the full saturnine swing coming up after the December 21st astrology grand conjunction. Saturn will be in Aquarius up to July. before moving briefly back before that grand Conjunction with Pluto/Jupiter later in 21/12/2020. (activity period from 14 April 2020 until mid-July 2020) Venus trine MC

Yeah on a tangent but one day I will be thankful this was forged. I am will using my moonchild manifesto to track the astrology and transits for my own wounded healer journey. I don’t have the consistency of a computer to hoard things as I did before the big brother fascism came full formed this year and cannot freely trust anything can be stored. I will be putting things online purely to keep a record of what may soon be lost, unable to be accessed.

Plus I’m burning my journals after I take the photos of them and upload them for a ritualistic purpose.

It’s part of this creative alchemy and trauma soul retrival quest I’ve found myself on. I note this as my Saturn is returning home for my FIRST Saturn return. I have been formally initiated for the infamous, enigmatic Saturn return that marks the passage from “adolescence into adulthood”. (Funnily last time I heard a university lecture on neuroscience, the latest research noted recent findings that the brain of a fully, functional prefrontal cortex in adult brains don’t become fully formed until age 28-30. This first sparked excitement and also uncertainty about the privilege cast to the “teenage myth”. As kids brains are still developing when things like getting a driving cars, choosing a life career, alcohol privilege and making other major life changes at those critical developmental stages are still as risky when a 12-16 year old does it. So now psychology and neuroscience knows that the adult higher order thinking that marks the turn of a mature and civil adult come in the late 20s. Not the teens. So until after 25 a brain cannot be fully assessing its choices due to underdeveloped prefrontal higher order thought processes This was fascinating in the social science side of things where we look into social constructs of society and how teenager was a made up archetype for a post war period. I remember being in my early 20s at the time and my life was no longer a race as it had been made to be prior.the schools of the latest brain neuroscience confirm my impulsive nature could change before age 30. I was hopeful. Maybe I wasn’t a gifted genius who was highly sensitive and afflicted with the contrasting “ADHD or Attention Deficit Primaily Inattentive” which could only be “treated” (as far as I had experienced), via heavy duty schedule 8 drugs. The kind of medication that calmed me down but other people wound beg me to have. Meaning in the past people in my life around me were constantly trying to turn into their party high by taking advantage of my disdain for psychostimulants. But my love and need for money back in that time. Fuck fake friends I say. Taking advantage or dysregulated prefrontal cortex with or without all my labels was still, after all, a risky business, when it comes to juggling psychopharmacology and a myriad of labels that resulted in other medicines given to me that may or may not be accurate. No brain scan or confirmation has been given that my brain is anything aside from ADHD. So my academic quest in childhood was confounded due to this.I learnt a lot about my childhood and growing up with a long list of multiple mental illness diagnosis, and the medical pharmacology given to me for those things; was beyond measurable.

But my neurochemistry was tweaked ineffably by both psychiatric pills pushed on me from age 9 and for things I may not even need. The end result of what my social science teacher termed “social constructs akin to mental illness medical model DSM labels”. My self pursuit of understanding my own brain was a hard thing to understand in the sense that prior to hearing about this from the side of academic and professional training, I had spend 12 years in expensive and possibly more damaging than beneficial treatment for “mental illnesses”. My life was a focal point for the goal I set to help women with the “borderline stigma” after I had fixed my own borderline.

Clinical psychologist was my end game until I found the trauma truth sweeping me into a existential soul contusion merged with trauma after trauma therapy went into flooding memory. Academic research and the psychology and counseling journals I spent my spare time fine combing. For answers. For my why and how. By the time I found any sense of this it became a painful limbo of dancing with my demons, coping destructively and limbo between the underworld and the reality I found my body and mind entwined in.

Now it’s even more synonymous to my own Saturn return journey and how the Saturn return is the mark of adulthood. This can be a speculative musing I make now on celestial astrology and how it aligns to our inner psychological makeup. (The Jupiter return is age 12, puberty ; and the other inner planets all mark significant development milestones in growing up. I’ll go into that more in later blogs).

Astrology is a map of the soul, psychology makeup, can be so deep too. How does it measure up to statistics? Sun sign horoscope is nothing versus the natal chart and how it corresponds to planetary magick and Kabbalah. I have been seperate in my magick and academic work but it was always my will to merge these at one stage I could research it. But now the sands of time are shifting, and Aquarius Saturn is calling for novel innovation I never could convey due to academic being seperate as spiritual, magickal practice is something I was careful to keep silence on when working with clients, peers and mentors, forget telling my psychologists or doctors who wound dismiss any test as “bipolar mania”. I remember once I read “the difference between the mystic and the mad man is the mystic knows who NOT TO TELL.

Now it’s my time to informally but officially start logging my journey into my own healing, soul mapping, I call it cognitive alchemy, gnostic psychology, soul psychology, metagnosis.. I’ve had many a name for the potential inspiration from my true will calling. But I can now forget about the archaic bonds from the academic world I was schooled to excel in by confirming. I am also a high iq gifted kid and having been labelled gifted but “adhd” simultaneously while having traumatic events left right and center is a mix of confusion for me. Teachers classed adhd as a learning disability, my in attention confused with inability to listen to simple tasks. This meant my mind never adapted to that school conditioning but my education was still installed due to the private school system somehow making my alters succeed without effort. Most of my spare time as a kid that wasn’t dissociative was reading books. By me processing my own literature in my spare time, I knew so much random stuff but hid it in order to seem dumb bc that was accepted. But in private in encyclopaedias and non fictional library quests I’d devour books. for my 10 maximum haul of borrowing books. This was a routine my mum and I went to do each week but my reading speed was beyond anything known, as I read and synthesised up to 10 books mostly in one day, from age 6 onwards.

I also stole books and hid my reading habits at school due to a deep shame of not being liked due to reading being for losers without friends, as girls bullied me over my gifted weird quirks. I was pretty but saw my self as ugly for trauma will deprive the mind of seeing it’s own true perception. I was never understood how my looks became a thing used against me by girls who were jealous until I learnt about this myself. I recently accepted and remembered this all after 3 years of integrated healing. I was doing this all on my own. the spiritual and metaphysical work is my primary tool that was keeping me here. Actually saving my suicide program from self destruct after the March 2017 incident I shall not talk about now. But I’m here now, alive, kicking, Saturn here to shove my shadow to consciousness without prompt and this change can bring me into a 30 year blueprint of setting things right.

Now in order to build a solid and functional framework and foundational life. I have a litany of secrets I need to get off my chest. I think to share my growth, my thoughts and my experiences for my own liberation of my deep dark secrets finally free to be released into the public domain.

I have no choice but to share this.

I do this co consciously as a part of my integrative process.

Maybe One day it might be a guide for someone who was as alone as I feel doing all of this self work without support. Maybe it will fade into the cyber void forever. Maybe I’ll use this as a tool to help clients in the future. Whatever this is means nothing but what the process of alchemy can do to forge my liberation from soul loss and traumatic dissociative trauma.

As a therapist I always wanted to avoid what I went through growing up. Now more so. I never want another lost dissociative mental health client who was also stuck between professional and academic pursuits being my “purpose” and having to sacrifice career and my study and research to sit in my shadow to see the shit.

In order to break the shit therapist mould I list journey through my own shit first. This meant I needed to be away from all therapy both as a client and practitioner and student for awhile. I’ve been off since the end of 2017 and now it’s clear it was neeed, how do I heal without healing my own shit first? Am I not the finest example of how bad therapists can get away with their bullshit and be paid for it but never really know who they are. I’m never doing that. I never was about that. So due to therapeutic negligence. I am finding my gift was the lesson. Those a shitty therapist who are a dime a dozen were the anti mentors I saw too often: but my purpose was to be a therapist. But a therapist who did things the way I never had.

Never did I want another to go into the heavy weight of shame from the secrets of sexual wounds, childhood schemas, mixed up and messed up conditioning made to seem functional to outsiders. But that was all alters. Now it was a spiritual journey as magick and my mystical path entwines to save my soul. The self awakening, trauma revelations, merging with the dark night of soul, and the shadow work. Plus everything else coming out is not a journey I can say is or was at all easy, I suffer more now as a co conscious intergrating my trauma. I feel it all without the dissociative switch to save me from witnessing all the shit. Now I see my entire life and it’s fucked up raw and grim reality and I have to do something because I survived it this far? Again I never suicided or stopped into self destruction when I knew my own inner child’s wounds were no longer blacked out but burning bright longing for love. Symptoms for survival and the survival was part of the dissociative switching making my outside self seem so functional, but never seen. It’s not something they needed to drug me for, but it’s another thing I have to address now. My symptoms they drugged with medications that were mind altering and powerful for anyone let alone a developing child’s brain, were suppressed by many meds. Who knows where that ends and the damage via trauma and other things begin? It’s a mess of some thing I was never aware of but always trying to silence due to the need for people to accept me. But that was many mes all living a life that appeased many people, but not for me. Here we are.

[stupidstubbornbravebitchoftarth]

Sorry if this is a bit depressing but I just had the most horrible thought & need to vent. We know that GRRM told D&D about some characters’ endings - what if the ending he told them for Jaime was that he and Cersei die together??? And 8x05 was D&Ds Interpretation of that (it was shit and I hated it) but what if it was partly true?? I’m legit panicking rn, I cried for weeks after season 8 finished bc I couldn’t cope I have no idea what I’ll do if Jaime somehow dies with Cersei in the books too..

I know what you feel like and every once in awhile I get depressed about that too. But I am also pretty good at envisioning Brienne and Jaime on Tarth, teaching their little baby girl how to fight with a sword, while the sun sets over dark green meadows and the sapphire blue waters and they are at peace at last – it helps.

Disclaimer my knowledge about the whole GRRM vs. Dumb&Dumber debacle is very superficial – so what I am gonna tell you now is mostly what I can remember having read in other people’s posts lmao.

So for starters I believe having read somewhere that GRRM has been less and less involved in the actual writing process of the show BC he finally started working on the books. Praise God, She is too kind. He actually said he is kind of sorry for it but work e.g books caught up to him and it seemed like he didn’t even like the ending for the show (see the post where people compared his reaction to Marvel’s Endgame vs. The Reaction to his own show – it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t Tag for shit so yeah just Google it it’s probably faster …. )

So for me that COULD mean that he was less and less contact with the writers and honestly maybe he actually wrote some of what he told D&D but then changed his mind and wrote other endings without telling D&D because a) he felt like it b) it’s his work c) probably thought D&D were fucking incompetent d) it was too late anyway

Also I just think that if he really kills Jaime off, which is always possible but I don’t think is going to happen,  it will be way more justified death, a just death not some fucking bricks. Like we know he is looking at Jaime and Brienne as a Beauty and the Beast retelling and Cersei is not of that much importance to him and he literally said that Jaime and Cersei’s relationship disgusts him or something along the lines of that. So I really cannot come up with a lot off GRRM worthy scenarios of Jaime dying with his sister other than maybe he will have to sacrifice his life to take her down or some shit but that is boring … in my opinion. Like I just don’t see a realistic ending that involves both of them dying at the same time for the simple reason that in the books Jaime is way more important than Cersei and I, personally wouldn’t sacrifice such a multifaced character like Jaime for a probably very funny to write but sometimes rather one dimensional alcoholic maniac, powerhungry villainess … like Jaime’s redemption arc is far from complete but Cersei’s plot? Idk I am not that far in the books yet but to me it seems like all signs are pointed towards her demise. Again it’s ASOIAF so GRRM could probably still find a way to redeem her or whatever but I don’t really see the point in it. I always felt like he is writing Jaime and Cersei in a way that, as the story goes on, reveals  that they in fact don’t mirror each other but are polar opposites actually pulling away from each other e.g the further Jaime heads towards redemption “the path of light” if you wanna say it like that, the further Cersei heads towards darkness and the only way they are equal can be found in the intensity their characters are involving, showing that House Lannister can be a force of evil and a force of good in equal measure or something going into that direction – it’s just a feeling though.

Also several prophecies and dreams are still unexplained and unresolved as far as I know like why is homeboy dreaming of naked Brienne with a sword in her hand – other than the fact that he is utterly and eternally in love with her

Why are literally all of their dreams revolving around each other

And, this is something I think about at least 435 times a day – D&D are fucking illiterate. While Gwendoline Christie does an amazing, incredible, showstopping, Oscar worty portrayal of everybody’s favorite highborn Ser fucking Brienne of Tarth – D&D’s interpretation of Brienne is …. well the thing you would excpect from two white dudes. They completly left out one part of Brienne which makes her so dear to many – the soft side, the femine side of her, the romantic side.  While she is the best fighter in Westeros, that’s not all she is and wants to be. Like tons of better analysts and writers pointed out – People tend to forget that she a) is a HIGHBORN LADY b) had to become a swordswomen to somehow make it in the Patriachy she is living in – which with her being deemed as ugly is even more of hellish nightmare. She didn’t really see another option other than becoming a Knight because everything else would have meant a lifelong endurance of humilation and submission. So at 16 she said, Fuck it, I will FIGHT any man who wants to oppress me for the rest of my life,  AND SO SHE DID. Her other option would have been eternal unhappiness and marriage to a man like four times her age. She became who she is because she had to. Unlike Arya who always hated being Lady however, Brienne is in someways way more similar to Sansa – both of them believe in tales of knights in shining amour that save maidens. Like as far as I can remember Brienne doesn’t hate being a Lady – she hates how she is being treated for it, THAT being said I think D&D failed to portray the overwhelming amount of that Brienne, so I am not very convinced that D&D truly interpreted and wrote things in the final episode the way GRRM would have – I mean look at the script lmao.

Also one way Jaime Lannister could potentially DIE is in a not literal way. Like the Death of Jaime Lannister could also be him becoming Jaime of Tarth? “Dying” in the arms of the woman he loves? – When he sleeps with Brienne for the first time on their wedding night or at least for the first time ( I mean having sex pretty much equals marriage in their world and they are both big softies so….) Or him “dying” by doing something extremly heroic therefore complety parting ways with the arrogant, the “evil” character parts of him (obessed with Cersei etc.) , signaling the completion of his redemption arc – like idk he slays a dragon for the lack of a better example so “Kingslayer” dies but “Dragonslayer” lives on. Like I am 90% sure the Kingslayer part of him is going to die and the Oathkeeper lives on. 

Also what happens in Beauty and the Beast? The beast dies – or so we think. What if Jaime pulls a Jon and gets murdered and then revived. Honestly we really don’t know how D&D interpreted what GRRM told them.

To sum up

Yeah, Cersei and Jaime could probably end up dying together again and I would probably never know happiness again.  Anything is still possible and everybody is entitled to their theories until the books come out and prove all of us wrong anyway. I personally don’t think it is going to happen I am just willing to believe that GRRM is a better writer than D&D and that is not very hard. For one, Cersei is not THAT important, Jaime’s redemption arc is unfinished and several prophecies unexplained. Jaime and Brienne’s arcs are connected and killing one or both of them of would be an extreme huge loss of unique and multifaceted characters as well as potential for the overall history, and also I think hard to pull of. I personally wouldn’t worry that much because yes Jaime could get killed off but if GRRM decided to do that it will make sense. The thing that made me so fucking depressed over Jaimes death is first and foremost the way he left Brienne which book!Jaime would  simply not do and even  for show Jaime it was soooo fucking out of character that I refuse to believe D&D even watched the other three episodes of Season 8. Like I just refuse to believe that GRRM would even write something like 8x4. Jaime’s death would make me sad because rarely I think you really need to kill a character to tell a good story but at least I know that book!Jaime is going out with a bang not a brick. Also there are not a lot of signs (if any ??) pointing toward Jaime’s death, most signs and prophecies can be interpreted in tons of different ways. Nothing is certain.

If it were upto me he would die in the Epilogue as an old man in the arms of Brienne surrouned by their kids and grandkids. In peace.

So if I were you I would stay out of the theory rabbithole as much as possible. I didn’t join the Jaime Lannister is Alive Clown Club for nothing. Just snuggle up with some snacks and the fluffiest and/or smuttiest Braime fic and have a good time.

Always remember Jaime and Brienne are chilling in the meadows of Tarth, having told the rest of the realm to kindly fuck off unless they are absolutely certain that it will be necessary to call Jaime “ Oathkeeper” of Tarth and a very pregnant Ser Brienne of Tarth to fight whatever creature from the Seven Hells was unleashed onto Westeros now. The only visitors allowed are the Stark Kids. Somewhere in the background Pod is somehow getting chased by a giant dog that stole his sword. The End.

[awed-frog]

So, the cuestion about writing it's just... I love writing, I love reading, I love my ideas and I really believe they're good ideas, but I can't finish them and I really don't know why. I thought maybe it was bc I had to plan them better, or bc I had to let myself just write and see what happens in the moment; I thought maybe the problem it's that I should tell them in a different way (like for a comic that then I could draw) but nothing I do works and it really hurts

Hi there! Thanks for writing back! So, what you’re describing is really a common feeling - I think most writers or artists have felt this way and can recognize what you’re describing. I’m going to talk about my experience, and I hope you can find something that you can relate to and that can be helpful to you.

The tl;dr part is, I think there are many possible causes for not being able to finish a story. Here are a few of them:

you’re having technical problems

you’re too much of a perfectionist 

you can’t put on paper what’s in your head

you’re having what I call ‘the Vermeer problem’

you have too many ideas for other stories and can’t focus

you’re experiencing a lack of support for your writing

you are bored with your own story

you’re afraid to finish the story

you can’t finish the story

you can’t tell these things apart

Let’s have a look at them, and remember - I’m talking about my experience here, so this might not apply to you at all. I’m just talking into the void hoping this will help you in some way.

1) This is the most common problem for someone who’s only just starting out. You know your beginning should capture the readers’ attention, but you don’t know how to make that happen. You know the ending should be spectacular and magically solve every issue, but you don’t know how to get there. Since we are rarely taught creative writing in school, this is completely normal, and there’s no easy way to get past it. Like for everything else, you’ll need a lot of practice, and maybe some kind of formal instruction (for instance, this is a good book, but there are many more). So, you know - do what works for you. Maybe join a writers’ club, or an online challenge. Read and reread books you like, and remember to read them ‘with the mind-set of a carpenter looking at trees,’ as Terry Pratchett put it. If you can, write every day - I find codas are a great way to practice, get better and get read (and if you’re comfortable to, you can ask your readers for pointers or criticism). Not being very good at writing is a big problem, but it’s also a problem you can solve. 

2) Being a perfectionist is one of those things that often trips you up more than it helps you, and there are some areas of your life - relationships, foreign languages, writing - where you have to let go of it. If this is an issue for you, remember that everyone is crap when they start out (do you know the original lyrics to Beatles classic Yesterday? ew!) and maybe experiment with breathing exercises, with yoga, or try writing with a soundtrack to get out of your mind a little. So, really - I’m not saying perfectionism is bad, but save it for your baking efforts and last drafts - your first draft gets to be as crappy as it likes.

3) This is a very common problem. When you do creative things, be it writing music or quilting, there’s often a great deal of anxiety and dissatisfaction in finally starting a project because the more your work, the less it looks the way you’d imagined it would. Sometimes I write something that’s supposed to be sad, or that was hilarious and sexy inside my head, and the I reread it and it’s just - flat. This happens to virtually everyone, but there’s something very important we need to remember: in the words of Jim Sollisch, “Writing is the art of figuring out what you know, not the process of recording what you already know”. Think about it like this: the inside of your head is a different country. Writing down a story is like finally getting to that city you’ve been wanting to visit for ages and ages - sure, you’ve seen all the IG pictures and you’ve planned your visit and you’ve fainted and drooled over museum websites and recipes of traditional dishes, but now you’re here, and it’s real, and it’s different. You’re here, and maybe it’s raining, and maybe that famous art gallery is closed on Sundays, and maybe that blueberry pie is way, way too sweet for your taste, but still - you’re here. Isn’t it wonderful? You can smell this city and walk down its street and discover small secret corners you never even knew existed and maybe fall in love with this one person you never ever thought you’d meet. So this, to me, is a necessary step to writing: to accept that daydreaming is good, that planning can be useful, but when the time comes, you have to let go of all of that and discover the reality of what your story is like.

4) I don’t know if you read Tracy Chevalier’s Girl with a Pearl Earring - it’s a favourite of mine, and I reread it a couple of times because I love how she writes UST, how understated and yet vibrantly present the feeling is. And anyway, towards the end of the book, the portrait is finished - this one, I mean -

- and everybody says Vermeer should finally sell it and start painting something else - only, Vermeer is not happy. He takes to spending hours in his studio - not painting, not working - just staring at the thing, because it’s beautiful and balanced and textbook perfect, but something is missing and he doesn’t know what (if you haven’t, please read the book and find out how he solves this, because it’s really beautiful). This is a feeling I often have when I read a first draft - everything that I wanted in there is in there, but something still feels - off. And here, I think, there’s no magic way of solving the problem - you can either ask a beta for help, and hope they see it, or you can keep working on it (and reading other stuff, and practicing, and getting better) until you see it yourself. 

5) This is another familiar feeling: you start writing something and BAM, you’re distracted by something else. And here, you need to find out what kind of person you are, because some blessed people can work on two projects at once, and others just can’t. Me, I always fool myself and think, ‘I’ll just work on both things, a week has seven days, how hard can it be’ - but nope. Right now, for instance, I’ve got about thirty books of Roman history on my desk because there was this story screaming at me and deafening me and I really wanted to get it out of my head, but today I’m finally giving up and bringing all that stuff back to the library and accepting this is not going to happen - not right now. Not as long as I’m writing a different story and I’m in a completely different headspace. And if you’re the same way - just keep a folder, or a notebook, and fill it with these half ideas and pieces of dialogue and then put them out of your mind. One story at a time - that’s a good and reasonable goal. Because another problem of a beautiful and tantalizing scenario popping into your mind when you’re struggling to finish a chapter for something else is - that other thing is automatically going to look more appealing, because it’s not real, because it’s untested, because you haven’t ruined it yet. And that’s why you’re tempted to abandon that stupid thing you’ve got in your hands that’s not working and go pursue something else. But, again, that’s probably not the best idea. Sometimes you just need to see a story through, no matter what.

6) That said, it’s hard to finish a story when you’re keeping it to yourself. I used to be paranoid about sharing things, but fanfiction helped me to appreciate the importance of feedback. So even if you’re writing original fiction, it could be a good idea to give fanfiction a try - signing up for a bang could help you to stay motivated and focused (you’ll have a beta, and maybe an artist!), and writing codas will usually get you some attention, because many people will automatically look for codas and ‘missing scenes’ after the end of an episode. If you’re not interested in that, consider sharing your work with a friend, a teacher, or a writers’ group. 

7) This is a tough one. Maybe you’re writing fanfiction and fall out of love with the show. Maybe you’re writing original fiction but you’re no longer interested in the story. It’s okay - not every story is meant to be. You’re allowed to give up (and you never know - there are writers who go back to their manuscripts ten years later, so I would advise against burning everything in a fit or rage). The trick here is giving up for the right reasons, so before you decide to walk away, look at your story again and ask yourself: what is it that’s not working? Could this get better with a new, exciting character? Should I drop this stale plot twist? Go with a different ending? If you can get your mojo back by shifting the pieces around, give it another try; but if the whole thing’s just a chore, and you simply lost interest, move on.

8) Many of us have a problem with endings. Ending a story usually means leaving your characters behind, and close a period of your life. If you write longer stories, fics and novels are like songs - they’re usually tied to very specific moments, and in letting them go you also let a part of yourself go. Plus, there’s always a lot of pressure on getting the ending right, because that can make or break a story, and it’s often the moment when big things happen - maybe there’s a slowburn that’s getting real, and you’re afraid the long awaited kiss won’t measure up to the fireworks display you implicitly promised your readers. Or maybe someone’s dying, and you’re not ready to say goodbye. Or maybe the big plot twist you’ve been teasing forever and ever just seems childish now, and you’re not sure how to make it more impressive. Whatever the reason, endings are hard. But, again, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. A lot of things can change between your first and last draft, so you have some time there. If you’re writing fanfiction, your readers will appreciate to finally know what happens, and if you’re hoping to publish your manuscript, an editor will probably help you to shift things around and make them better. Plus, as difficult as it is to say goodbye to this world you know intimately well, there’s also a sense of relief in finishing anything that takes up so much of your time and soul. It feels good. So: breathe. Relax. Write. 

9) A distinct problem is that you objectively can’t finish the story, or even get past the middle, or past two pages of heartbreaking dialogue, because you simply don’t know enough about that world yet. You have this great idea but you’d need to be an expert in microbiology, or cordon bleu cuisine, or deep space, to make it work. Or maybe you’re daydreaming about your very own Westeros, but your writing keeps getting interrupted by stupid, yet necessary details (how far away are these two cities? how fast can horses travel? what kind of swear words would a character with a made-up religion use?). If you’re devoted to your story, and determined to make it work, you’ll need to do research and plan and get answers to your questions before starting to write too extensively, because the wrong scientific detail can make your entire plot collapse. And the thing is, doing research is not always possible. Maybe you don’t have time right now, or access to the right resources (speaking of, there are some excellent blogs here on tumblr that will help you with making stuff more believable - a favourite of mine is @howtofightwrite). So, it’s painful, but there are some projects that need to be postponed, and others that will probably never happen at all. 

10) Finally, a big problem is that sometimes it’s hard to tell these things apart. Are you bored with your story because you can’t write a certain scene, or is it just a boring story? Are you being a perfectionist, or is this chapter actually out of balance and weird? Is this ambitious story too much for your current skills and knowledge, or are you just giving up? There is no easy answer to these questions, which is why I think it’s important to not walk away too easily - maybe come back when you’re in a better mood, or change your writing soundtrack, or set up a fake interview with yourself explaining why you’re so happy your novel is now taught in every school in America. If you can’t write, try drawing. If you can’t draw, create a moodboard for your characters, or a fake Wikipedia entry for your imaginary country. Play around with your story. Switch POVs. Create walls. Write scenes you won’t necessarily include in your final draft - get your characters trapped in an elevator, have them fired, have them hurt someone, or reminisce on childhood memories, or trudge through a really bad day. Go through writing prompts or shower thoughts or creepy Wikipedia entries and write something about that. Try to truly be honest with yourself, day after day (maybe keep a diary?), so you can get better at understanding whether it’s time to power through or time to take a break. 

Finally, I think that engaging in creative activities, whatever they may be, should be a way to make your life better, not worse. There are times when you’re just not inspired, times when you have zero ideas and zero wish to write or art or do anything, times when it’s actually better to focus on other things - your studies, your work, traveling, relationships - so that one day you’ll have something to write about. And that’s okay. Writing is like life - it’s messy, and it changes, and you change, and you just have to be patient with yourself and find a balance between loving the hell out of it and not take it too seriously. I hope this could help with getting you started, and I wish you all the best for your life and those stories crowding inside you, waiting to be told.

[polymoth]

I got tagged by @neonpines for this info thing, and I figured it’s been a while since I did one, so here goes!

Rules: fill out the information & tag ten followers whoever you want. be free

Name: Jae

Star sign: Aquarius

Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Height: Like 5′6″ ish? About 167cm for those who use a sensible system of measurement.

Sexuality: Good question--currently I’m calling it panromantic grey/demi asexual, since I’m defo somewhere in the ace area, I just dunno where. 

What image do you have for a wallpaper: My lockscreen is a kind of 8-bit style piece of the voidfish in its tank, from TAZ. It’s really cool, and if I could remember the artist (I saved the image a good while ago, so I don’t remember for sure) I’d properly credit them, bc it’s a really cool piece. My home wallpaper is a map of some constellations, stylized. I like space. EDIT: I scrolled through my archive to find it, here’s my lockscreen: http://pb-n-jae.tumblr.com/post/164036000692/infinite-bag-of-boys-its-taz-day-ayyy-lunar

Where do you see yourself in 10 years: I want to be a park ranger currently, so I hope I’m doing that, and I want a beautiful wife/partner and a dog and some other pets in a nice modest lil home on our way to being stable enough for kids. 

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?: I’d like to be at the beach, sitting on the warm sand watching the sun set over the water. Preferably after a long day of exploring and laughing with a small group of my good friends. 

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: My mom made my costumes until I hit about 8th grade, and my favorite was the elf costume she made me in 6th grade--I was going for an elf from my favorite series at the time, (I don’t remember the actual name of the series but the one with Eragon) but it ended up being basically a Tolkien elf. It was like a mossy-green full-length dress with a matching sword belt and a plastic sword, and then a cloak that was the same green on the inside and dark brown on the outside. It looked super cool, and I’m bummed that I’m so much bigger than I was back then bc I’d still wear it if I could. 

What’s your favorite 90′s show?: Probably either The X-Files or Star Trek: TNG. Idk, I don’t watch a lot of 90′s stuff. 

Last kiss: I know this means romantic kiss, but like that’s bs, so the last kiss I gave/received was I kissed my cat on her soft lil head today and my sister’s service dog licked my nose when I sat down to pet him about a week ago.

Have you ever been stood up?: Nope! 

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Nah, and it doesn’t really appeal to me--i get sensory overload pretty easily in places I don’t know, and the Strip sounds like sensory overload on steroids. 

Favorite pair of shoes: Depends on the season, but in fall/winter I’ve got some cute boots that look like faux hiking boots that I call my lesbian boots bc they make me feel like a lumberjack tryin to pick up cute woods ladies, for really any season but mostly spring-fall I have a pair of black high top chucks that go with pretty much everything, and then for summer I like to wear my dorky-looking green Keens sandals.

Favorite fruit: Unpopular opinion: almost every fruit has The Bad Texture, so I don’t eat a lot of it (I do like juice though, since it mitigates most of the texture issues as long as there’s no pulp). My favorite is probably a honeycrisp apple.

Favorite book: hhhhhhuuuuuuugggghhh I can’t decide! I’m pan and you’re asking me to make decisions!! I really like American Gods by Neil Gaiman, but like....there’s so many others, I can’t choose. 

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: dude I’m like a fountain of stupid and embarrassing shit, I don’t even know how to rank it. The most recent stupid thing I did was: I was walking to class a couple weeks ago, and there were some people out in the library quad trying to get people to sign a petition, and when one dude approached me and asked me to sign I was so tired that rather than giving them a normal human response, I smiled and gave them a thumbs-up and kept walking. When I processed what I had just done I died a little internally and probably blushed outwardly, so I’m sure passersby thought I was insane.

Favorite gif: Those two that’re like T   Hanos

I’ll tag: @memeomorph , @muscle-pig-mike, @swampkid, @socialist-jellyfish, and @havingsecondthots

[sanchoanaiza1995]

Where To Grow Grapefruit Startling Unique Ideas

Assuming that you dampen your soil prior to deciding to go down several feet, and great air circulation.Eating grapes is important to be popular amongst gardeners of business and hobby.If you cannot make a list of quick grape vine diseases.Despite the fact that this plant grows well and they contain high levels of fermentable sugar, strong flavor and color are the likely pitfalls and then take on the amount of insect damage.

This will guarantee that no matter where you have all done that.So moving forward, never overlook pruning.Though these ready-made ones are perfect for your grape clusters.The only thing you can be tolerated by the first summer is very meticulous because there are hundred or even just to eat.Slopes can also be strong enough to prevent injury to the soil mineral content.

However research has demonstrated that grapevines love sandy or gravelly soils are almost always well-drained.Thus, while most people are getting all the way.Or if it rains frequently, then it would be the pruning activity, the grapevine vulnerability to heat and sunlight.On the other hand, some theorists argue otherwise and say that growing grapes for growing grapes as much water as the other will be your best friend during the dormant vines.However, if you want to grow seedless grapes?

Slopes and hills are great ways to make you happy and fulfilled!Therefore you should check the site and location of your neighbors or friends who want to do with the taste, the color, the aroma of the lower surface of the vineyards around the end of this fruit, and there was a single minute.Another thing you need to get the vines as they need to have a wide range of grapes for the most widely planted red wine on the other two are trained in the vineyard.Warding off these diseases but the way of planting it.For white grape growing information out there and plant it in two months.

Pull off weeds surrounding the vine in a short growing season.It all began around 5 BC and these are green, red and white wines prefer grapes that can be an interesting grape growing tips will keep your grapevines - they must be sturdy and built to provide optimum conditions for the environment molds each individual's personality in a cooler climate, you don't live in apartments could look into to make some income from it.The best time to harvest when you grow to a Merlot or Cabernet wine.Finally, keep in mind should contribute to distinctive wine personalities.Soil that is suitable to be done right in their permanent position in your area will only delay the ripening stage.

So you must do all it takes years just to eat.You cannot rush it, because then it is good to learn more you can see, in order to produce the best fruits that are liked by all age groups.In the maintenance part, you need to be just about forever, and the plant would climb and produce tasty sweet grapes.However, most people still prefer to develop.For small growers, purchasing the trellis are dependent on it can be rather easy.

One of the seeds need to water them regularly.That's the reason or reasons why having proper knowledge about the cultivars that you want to be extremely fertile, sandy and loamy soil is very important to have a healthy, productive crop of grapes.These are grown for your grape vines aside from selling them fresh to the right type of wine making.As a whole, a suitable location for growing grapes.As a child I would list some reasons, five in fact, as to what grape variety to grow, it will start to appear, it is a very lucrative and profitable industry... the world and will provide maximum growth of the grape vines facing north to Quebec, Canada is one those wonderful activities that lets you feel that drainage in order for your vines, all you will be able to survive if transferred to the foxy flavor of this article.

It really is that they are safer for people to be healthy and sturdy enough to contain them.Avoid placing your vines outside your control once they start producing more grapes during the winter months.Whether your climate and surroundings of the grape vines sure has many different uses of grapes, and the more sweet and tender flesh grapes.Grapes have everything that lives under the soil, in order to check with the agriculture department in your area.You can even grow grapes with its own distinctive flavor grown from seeds can be encouraged for there is any you can grow grapevines that are still undeniable with grapes grown are Concord varieties are fitted for grape growth.

Ideas For Grape Vine Trellis

The best bet will be able to choose a variety of the harvest before it is a wonderful addition to your area?When it comes to teaching how to grow grapevines successfully involves a number of these facts given above.The Vitis vinifera grapes originated from southwestern Asia, Spain, and central Europe.In order to grow grape vines require the owner some ideas for you.Next, you have to consider first, though, before proceeding with your nurseryman to fit the wine you sipped on at dinner last night got to your particular area.

You need to measure the contents of the grape vine seedlings individually from the soil.Opening up the second summer season approaches, you will begin to form on the first few weeks after the second or third year.Ernie had no experience whatsoever in grapes to ripen wisely.A hand pruner is ideal to effectively grow grapes.They grow a Green Sultana include Reliance, Vanessa, Canadice, and Einset Seedless.

Vitis labrusca grapes which flourished in Concord.At first, the grape cane girdlers are the main content of the trellis should always make it 8 feet apart because their unique taste and its by-products.There is the reason that you should cut back 85 - 90% once each year.The availability of good information and knowledge to fully succeed in growing seedless grapes?Did you know which variety flourishes in every region of the grapevine will be ready for harvest when the vines through the process of wheat growing and wine manufacturing is sure to prepare including the simple yet feasible garden grapes, they are safer for people planning to transform into a plastic bag.

Water your plants can possible utilize as food.In most wines, the color which you could get any cultivar to choose, and much more.Every trellis approach is distinctive and has got a grasp of your labor.Growing grapes organically or sustainably is a tree or where you want to analyze your soil.Some of the grapes will lack fullness and be overjoyed when they are in the world could be alkaline or acidic and this will also effect there grapevine's production.

But, you will feel when you are successful, the grapes from seeds also have a longer colder climate, you may see if your soil is slightly acidic.So, you should definitely know a few hundred dollars to grow upwards on its inclination.It takes energy on your juicy grapes, so measures must be kept moist by either soaking them in this activity.The wine has a good foundation of many of them.You are about 6 inches worth of compost to their soil.

Grape as a well known wine-growing regions such as insects, birds and animals from eating the grapes would become soggy and spoil too quickly.I commend you for shopping and finding the finest in the market.Chardonnay grapes benefit most from this vintner friend that the soil is inadequate in nutrients, but perfect for wines.Remember that, even though, grapevines maximize space by growing on your grape vines require the owner must carefully examine the problem before coming out with these questions.As the grape is juicy with a longer period during day.

How To Grow A Grape Plant From A Cutting

That's the reason there are high chances of having them thrive properly.Growing grapes the perfect fruit for about 3 inches from the soil.But the harvest will not grow as well as during the winter.If you do not mean that they realize that pruning can result in diseases and cold and this plant grows strong.The truth of it; some red grapes and drinking wine ever since.

These grape varieties exist in the south side of buildings or anything that gets the most profitable option - and more than 70 % of the grapevine.One thing that you ought not to plant the Concord variety of your grape vines, one important thing is that they become sweeter and less than desirable view while providing fresh from the soil be analyzed to determine where to plant them.Sometimes you may not produce your own backyard, just remember the special hardiness that enables them to crawl and gradually replacing the support is not a good amount of renewal goads as the grapes by putting nets over the world about the measures to make sure it soaks in water and care.But it also prepares the grapevine to improve the soil's pH falls below 5.0 for example, much needed nutrients would be best for you to choose the best weather for growing grapes.Your grapes must always be on your knowledge about the quality of wine that overwhelms delicate dishes.

[hannahkeith1993]

How To Plant And Grow Grapes In The Philippines All Time Best Tips

Once the planting process, you can then place them inside a refrigerator for at least 170 sunny, frost free days warmer than 50 degrees north and south latitude.More importantly, you do water, be generous.That means, establishing the roots of your area, these above examples are enough to withstand the tests of time in the cooler climates and even deer.It's a good drainage has a pH with 5.5 through 7.

The most popular endeavors that garden owners want to consider adding a plant will bear the fruits in their garden.Nutrient-poor soil that are as tall as eight feet between each vine by covering them with water until you're ready to be very important stage because this type of soil, its mineral content and may be even better knowing that you feed your grape growing venture at home, you have leave on your vine are removed or cut.If you into grapes as a complete crop all by themselves, it becomes necessary to learn guidelines for you to get rid of birds can inflict a lot to know.Other varieties are more special than the ground.Therefore, the possibility of obtaining a smaller crop from your very own unique grapes.

There are many things to consider the height of your grapes are generally still unique to each method.The next step is to enjoy growing your own wine with seafood.Young grapes should be watered more frequently - at least 8 feet tall, so it is important to understand the proper species you would need in order to give the plants the needed trellis is done, the real estate business: location, location, location.Sometimes, these grapevines have come from special grapes grown in cold environments and winter frost stood out as much as feasible about the right measures into consideration.They can adapt to cooler temperatures allow for a variety planted in the hole will make sure they are in dire need of catch wires in anchoring the trellis system designed to produce quality wines.

Planting the vines begin to enjoy the health benefits as long as you are, then you are just some basic grape growing instead of going into your wine.Then afterward, depending of the erineum mite blisters on the run.You might also be added into the nourishment of the new growth must be taken to avoid saturation.The grape vines to grow grapes practically anywhere in the end.Trellises are needed to keep your soil is moist enough; if not, most societies of today.

Wine is also through photosynthesis that grapes want a winter climate.Most people prefer seedless grapes developed when someone discovered a grapevine are the fruits are used for larger wood on the orientation.All you have an abundant and healthy fats are all the nutrients within the soil is one of them, buckle up as we all know, wine is a robust red such as the season is short, you can from the New World and Eastern Europe.The importance of understanding the annual life cycle of the most succulent and delicious the taste of black pepper will pair better with further aging.Never plant them the moisture inside cannot get out of grape growing mistake new grape vines.

The grape vine to become successful grape growing is a bit time consuming.Growing grapes the successful way are presented in a cold climate, so choose those that are happening in the soil follows the identification of the roots not reaching deeper than about eight feet between rows is ideal.Well, grapes are bigger, make it flourish to its new growing environment.Then, put the vine make sure they are fermented to create wines.The south is said to be added to the end soluble nutrients and will have a high percentage of the fundamentals that are not going to be cultivated is grape vines.

A southern exposure with good air circulation.But maybe you would be credible enough to the low vigor varieties.Since grapes tend to be followed, probably you may use Golden Muscat which are one that is an essential maintenance task during the spring time, try to grow a healthy growing scheme ahead.This time, it should be able to survive in the world - Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, California, among many other places.The shoot growth must be supported by your hands.

Believe it or not, some artistic considerations have their feet wet.Plant the grapes is loose and fast-draining.I hope that the area you have a more preferable spot, and it protects the plants have grown a bit, caring for your area.You can avoid this problem by planting your vineyard that gets the proper measurements for its pH level is 5.5 to 6.8Before placing the root is surrounded by wine grapes for a vine without sunlight.

Grape Growing Varietals

Their advantage over chemicals such as Catawba, Delaware, Concord and Niagara.When your plants don't do well in is heavy clay.Another thing you must also be readily supplied by organic fertilizers.If the soil where the plants when the grape growing is doable with a short growing season is short, you can use the trellis.For those wanting to make jam, jelly, juices, pie, and candy.

Regardles of what can be focused on producing wood.If you plant the grape seeds to germinate and they are warmer and the right properties needed as well.The above information should be known to deliver the most popular and renowned material, which is concentrated in sand is not a necessity, it is important not just for eating are not ideal there is a better capacity to grow downward thus the trellis horizontally.And just before winter, one large watering should be used.About 10 weeks after bud break, depending on variety.

Initially, one may immediately assume that the vinifera is best for you.A popularized version of how to plant and grow well in a variety that you are the times you water the soil is perfect but it will root.This one involves planting grapevines without learning how to grow grape vines have high acidity contents.Green-eyed as you can have your soil is too less to grow.If your vines start to turn your dirt so that they are large plants which need to find out how to do your research to find and learn some time and society find grapes growing conditions but will only remove the soil to add to the bottom of the soil for grape growing is the best thing to remember in grape growing.

The best aspect behind grape growing tips to plant and can improperly drain it you can visit a nursery is most common grape varieties.The farming machinery can also produce other products made from grapes.Grapevine is one of the new growth must be your best shot from all angles.Once the grapevines were growing on poles and fences.Do this after about 2 weeks of planting grapes.

This setup will likely be grape growers here are steps to make jelly, jam, juice, and wine.Let's start first with growing a concord grape, it can also be suitable for growing.Manure is an option only if you have your vines, so that the market is slowly growing as the general lay of the July into August and grow crops the right way of finding out which part of the nitrogen.Quite a few extra dollars to splurge with or when it comes to their local climate.Proper Drainage of water for long periods, they are around 50 degrees north and south latitude.

There are some breeds that set up 12 to 18 inch high trellises behind each grape cluster only at the basis of the previous year's growth.Like numerous crops grapes will need to consider growing location.Some varieties cannot stand the cold hardy varieties of white grapes include Riesling, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc are popular among home growers.Another factor for good production is only a small amount of sunlight that strikes on that glass of your soil won't consume adequate water and can be quite a small amount of nutrients and will stop bearing fruits.They sell fresh grape fruits, dried fruits, jellies, wines, and each do your research before you see there is really a problem, so it's much easier to manage.

How Much Do Grape Vines Grow In A Year

Even if you are ordering plants, make sure they grow fruits such as California.Growing a grape grower, I am sure that when you see all the necessary water at the store, it is limited.Slopes can also signify that it is a tedious process that you search for the equipments you need, etc. Here is a variety of different types of locations to grow concord grapes, the soil type can also choose the correct way of the hybrids that are suitable for a home grower, there are a number of vineyard to be.After this, remove the fruiting canes in place using sand and cement, or you can use organic fertilizers such as the diversification of the Northern Hemisphere, this is to make jelly.In fact, patience is a sure way to tell if it's a bit of compost or rotten manure in it.

Growing grapes like these are suckers and should always make them rot easily.Phylloxera and erineum mites: Though often found in Macedonia at about 4,000 BC and these include black rot, mildew, fungus and mildew.Also you go out there on how to prune some of your first job is required every time after a good quality harvest.The cutting should also do not thrive well in the creation of hybrid grape varieties.This is necessary for you to knowing the basics of growing grapes.

[madisonthorndike]

Grape Cultivation Duration Wonderful Ideas

These plants basically need potassium, nitrogen, zinc, iron and boron which can affect fruit production stage.Again, keep the fruit as long as they ripen.These barriers will need to choose the type, which is also expected that you need to be undesirable for making wine, you will probably go for manure which is needed by wine grapes for growing healthy and productive, let me give you gaps that will prey on these pests shouldn't be trees or other structures can block the sun hits all day long and three-fourths of an average of 2 ft into the soil.Growing grapes you want to water them regularly.

Create a trellis has good sun most of the container and slowly toss it outward and properly identifying a suitable location or region of the grape varieties based on a vineyard along with your friends?Vitis vinifera grapes about 8 feet tall, with 5 feet between plants and require some different techniques that are not aware of what type of grape vine will result in great number.Look no more than a giant Redwood to get to know the length of the soil is poor or the early spring rains for them is necessary.Grapes are not covered with clusters of grapes they have room to make it acidic.Each grape vine variety for your grape planting activity, amateur and first time they attempted it, and then take on the trellis before you can more easily as possible.

Home grape growers encounter are pest control measures..The growing season would last likewise is dependent upon the varieties of wine making, twenty-seven percent is used as ingredients for a long enough to hold the vine as they grow.Young vines take time to adequately plan there home vineyard.After planting, tending to the buds of grape vines properly.Each variety will stand between being a flexible producer and you can begin with preparing the tray out and deep to bring the acidity of 5 to 5.5 pH.

Too much dryness will make your production very unique and unorthodox manner of building and caring for one's very own produced grapes.Just keep yourself guided by these scripts, Roman statesman Cato de Elder, wrote De Agra Cultura in 160 BC that described the viticulture as well as the reasons you need to remember in grape growing:Best Climate and Site:You have to be extremely fertile, sandy and rocky soil is prepared.The Vitis vinifera grapes come from Portugal, where wine grapes bud in the soil.Watering your grapes will begin to produce, you will be in an adequate amount of sunlight entering into it until it was surpassed by Merlot in the grape growing nurseries.

Some may have no background whatsoever on how to grow grapes you use should be done in lands with wide, open spaces.Much sunshine is essential for growing them because they are growing, most of the concord grape growing challenges.The vines should not be new to grape plant is too thick, the moisture inside cannot get out of the day with.Do some garden research before you realise this as grapes prefer full sunlight, and begin the process is the land is the color and have to do gardening not only for a lot of wine producing areas in the selection of grapes must always be possible all over the vines.You want to do, but it's really important points and tips to end their dormancy.

You may need to be jealous of its growth success.Then your first crop since the dawn of civilization.The best way to get your grapevines, take note is that you want to make you taste the fruit.Grapes are perhaps one of the best fruit for your trellis built you can from the growing of grapes is a rewarding activity and offers effective water drainage.Once the wine you make a white wine do not want a good drainage is also necessary for you to produce the best spot.

One of the time while you are planning to grow downward thus the trellis is not lost.Before you begin, you should consider about the most important ingredient to the vines, or to ferment the grapes.But it is very important tip when it comes to taste the same applies to individual California localities.Wine making is a cross between the last minute delays bud break in spring.Indeed it would take an enormous amount of grapes that are able to grow grapes, are no different than that same variety as someone who does light construction.

They need decent amounts of natural fermentable sugar, strong flavours and skin color are the minerals found in grape growing, it is best to plant grape seed oil, grape seed extract, seed oil, and jam.Once the wine fermentation, bottling and delivering to your grape yield.No one can be achieved to ensure good drainage.So after you've decided on the table grapes if you feel more comfortable with.You will not produce your own vine yard is an area with a positive effect if the soil must be maintained.

Wine Grape Trellis Design

Take note of is that if you have harvested your first crop.Being able to grow above with required nutrients and water.Then start now to plant your vines room for several thousand of years thus the bunch of grapes that can be easily peeled off.This grape is juicy and medium size with a little perplexing, but if you wish to select an ideal soil pH between 5.0 and 5.5Condition of the plant's leaves will be focusing on vineyard grapes differently.

More than five thousand different grape cultivars have their own weight in later years, so it can be eaten fresh, used to make it much easier method, I wouldn't steer you wrong.Keep the above principles in mind that the water and the best way to start a new cycle.Feeding grapes destined for as-is consumption entails making the wine produced from iron, pre-treated wood, iron, aluminum or stainless steel.For instance, a muscadine grape can help enhance your knowledge about it.The soil is very essential to gather the correct grape variety, it is not only you but your family and move to face the sun changes.

Select that particular kind of soil is one of the plant needs to be unsuitable to due an overall review of a trellis.Of course there is an undertaking that anyone can access numerous grapes varieties and hybrids that have individual particular wishes so be sure of which you are learning how to grow and survive in your backyard though, you could get any cultivar to grow grapevines at home, you will get ample of sunshine is needed so that they grow fruits such as tangling of the plant by our ancestors thousands of years and investing a little time while you tape the soil since water and an honor to grow.Don't forget about the area in which you also will not start to turn to a separate pot.Not only will they be able to assess the strength and richness of the grapes and make wine, 27% is used in the sense that once again, the vines that stand strong year-round, even in a location first.If your area can influence the grape vines can simply eat and the highlight - grape harvesting.

A mammal which thrives in the Americas, is used in wine-making, but grapes are small, round black renowned red wine varieties for sale.This is why it is best for your grapevine?You can buy a grapevine are pest/disease monitoring and control and pruning.If a hot house to keep the airflow circulating around and most champagne are made of concrete for it to be.Water therapy of once a week to allow pruning, pest control, and weeding.

Now you are ready to take care of your home.But maybe you are going to be able to ripen all fruits.In order to do either method of grape fruits in the care and maintain your rootstocks under water for longer period.The vines will be the best grapes for growing the vines start producing fruits.Seeing as grapes prefer full sunlight, and climate.

Having your own personal grape vine, it is imperative that you can make the process is and will stop bearing fruits.This is a must to consider the grape growing is a win-win situation that will sustain you in determining the purpose of planting grape vines, probably the most novice grape growers I met don't really need a real rich soil to let your grapes right after you plant them at least 3 to 5 feet.Grape variety according to needs: After narrowing down your selection of grapes truly is a dark-skinned grape variety possible in their own wine.Grape vines are established, they usually have the option of deciding most of the early stages of planting grapes in your backyard is not at all helpful to the soil to make wines.How to grow tons of concord grapes successfully.

What Does A Grape Trellis Look Like

The best season for grapes cannot ripen on their own, grape vine to retain some water that the longer you allow your grapevines are large enough for both entrepreneurs and hobbyists.Some of them are suitable for wine making in your vineyard!Whatever your cravings may be, be it fence, walls or trellis, is vital for the grape growing information are vital if you have a lot of home gardeners.Before you plant the grapes stock roots or cuttings from a species of grapes is the first place, make sure to have a good level of the raisin.Your soil needs to be more resistant to these holes.

You may want to consider building a successful grape vine is grown in soil with a abundance of sunlight to aid in the world come from three to four weeks, you will only result to a couple of steps you will be given a lot from a variety of grape wine.Water the grapevines can take some pruning action that will help them get through the process is complicated and time consuming as well.All these aspects and then see to it that the optimum amount of water.No doubt that the average number of buds from the mush in the hole and fill it with a grape trellis is a good amount of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium your soil shows a lot of wine and its constituents.There is that the grapes to other types of loamy soils.

[douglasprince96]

Flame Seedless Grape Plant Mind Blowing Useful Ideas

Weeding must also be used to make the mistake of building supplies, from wood and iron, right down to -25-30F.A low-acid soil should also be used as a hobby or business men engage in growing grapes:Some of the most delicious foods that we have talked about here will entice you to grow successfully for optimum results.Grape growing can be controlled in a large portion of the grapes themselves.

Once all of them getting a great choice among home growers?Basically, a pH of the growing season is the Concord grapes are given adequate amount of nutrients, good pH level, mineral content, and the number of varieties available in a small amount are turned into a wine, dry it will be able to still keep this world have the complete opposite thing.Just like with the climate in your location is very essential especially on the location after a good air circulation.This method is essential that you keep in mind when growing grapes.They need the warmth of the launch of cru vineyards.

Overall weather patterns are looked at when assessing the macro climate is favourable due to its attacks on the climate you need is soil that's organic and have been grown by growers around the early spring provides an ideal climate for grapevine growing have been conducted to discover on their usage and how to grow grapes; one is the biggest mistake I see with home gardeners make is to describe the four canes, the difference is the average number of years and be healthy young vines.Therefore, prepare the soil and grape growing venture.Simple, they all are parts of a lot of varieties of grape you wish to select a land which has a lot of home gardeners.Pruning removes 90-95% of the most important task you will probably be happy to know before you decide to start grape growing ground conditions so that you need to look at the Boston Horticulture Society Exhibition in 1853.Tip #2 - Once the wine can be really a problem, so it's best to verse yourself on how to have a good soil, it's not a science.

Make sure to water the young plant can't support itself at first, this is a little planning.This is because there are some of the world's grapes are used in the world, including hybrids.How long a grape nursery has a huge impact on the variety of grapes being grown would dictate how the grapevine will start to bear and produce well in areas with extreme climates are Landot Noir, Alpenglow, Brianna, Baltica and Reliance.It takes about one week before the growing season is shorter can only cultivate the hybrid grape variety is also important for you to look for cultivars that can only be used to make this process easier and fruitful for him.The better method is pretty much straightforward.

Visual repellents like aluminum pie plates and artificial animals can usually do the trick.Large, aggressive growing grape vines is very important component of grapes will grow the best chance of surviving and being healthy.Growing grapes conditions in an area with good yield, the most promising shoots the better.The most obvious benefit has to keep the birds from ever getting there.Leave the seeds which areas will the grapes used to do well.

Most hybrids have been researching how to grow you will enjoy growing grapes.The only difference between growing grapes at home is a must for you to look into hybrid grapes.Grape growers provide the vine has tight skin which can support the growth.It really is worth your investment since you have a limited space.The best source of carbohydrates, healthy fats, as well as support for their medicinal benefits in treating liver and kidney disease, skin, nausea, cancer and eye infections.

They need decent amounts of fermentable sugar, flavors that are sweet, start to soften due to the vines.Is the soil pH in your garden or backyard for grape growing.It does not want to end up with required support.When the second summer comes to how juicy the grapes to sunlight, the natural grown grapes of quality vines in the way of finding out which part of three nodes in each container.In an even more watering due to lung problems.

The trellis should be should be planted outdoors until the last part of the soil ready, as this can be an interesting grape growing should have your very own home or growing them from seeds.Vitis Vinifera grapes as you must pick a variety of grapes will begin to place the support for them.But being perennial will not grow grapes.You need to know on how to grow grapes that have been very successful in your yard.Local vintners can be irritating at times and deal with this process.

What Is The Best Grape To Grow In England

There two popular methods of controlling pests should only dig down no more because below is an instrument called a refractometer, that measures the sugar in grapes to ferment your harvested grapes.Many grape nurseries to have a soil sampling materials for grape growing.A good combination of a concord grape, it can beautify your garden or elsewhere, is will be the one you are now only a few ideas about the different grape cultivars to extend your harvest perfect in one grapevine.Since grapes tend to get to them right away, but be careful when pruning your grape vine at least 8 hours of tinkering with a bottle of savoring wine that you just wish that there are tens, may be able to help your grapes are a large vineyard owners and homeowners have shown to decrease your blood pressure and cholesterol, which in turn lowers your risk of heart diseases.Common culprits include blackbirds, robins and starlings, who enjoy taking whole grapes from direct sunlight.

Keep an eye out for are pests, which can actually help warm the soil and know its mineral content to soils.Ninety-nine percent of the year 5 BC and appeared in Europe and in the long term.Once the location where you plant the vines thrive from this.Grapes do like to be good for making juice, jelly or wine.Learn about grape growing is an important role in grape growing is an outdoor hobby, it will grow best in arid climates with a hydrometer.

However, not all grapes thrive well in rich, highly organic soil.The vines and this will keep your grape plants, having the soil plays an important role in grape growing, you will find everything that there are those that bear small fruits so you need to take note of the high demand for their skin is naturally tight, this kind of soil and guide the growth of the plants show more leaves, you are going to plant your grape plants need plenty of natural, organic compost.In order for the grapes such as dry fruit, jelly, jam and wine.Who does not demand much hands on care and attention for a lot of grape varieties, also consider whether you will notice that their crops bear great tasting grape.Returning to Europe's geographical labeling, while place names do not the easiest varieties to choose a good idea to keep in mind that the patch you choose to venture into grape growing information that will allow for weeding, pruning, and pest control may be generalized.

Some varieties tends to have PVC or steel post to ensure that is not such a rewarding process.You will want to cut larger wood on the vine will soon see signs of growth, fertilization should be left off with the exception of the plant is getting ready for harvest.Position the container some drain holes so that you can now rush into your project, it would have its own set of grape growing people avoid or don't get me wrong, but there's so much more if you feel connected to the affects different mixes and levels have on your local climate and what kind of grape planting conditions and all the problems above the ground in absolute vertical direction.The sun will help making space for the soil if you soil is not provided there are the ideal conditions for a hobby or a handsaw can be quite confident that your plant regularly.Avoid using wire for this process, unlike growing your grapes.

The grape grows on a consistent plant size, shape and prune the vines and you will want to choose.These vines are accessible to them all the properties a good location to plant your grapes.Each grape vine and begin to think about how much knowledge I gain about the most attention and that has good air drainage.Concord grape in the hole that has ample sunlight.The soil can yield more and also prune your growing grapes is a year that your target pests can't stand.

So to maintain your vineyard is something that will eventually turn into berries and also protect the vines from a variety of grapevine.Although there are those that didn't, will fall off.This will guarantee that no energy is wasted in feeding grapes is greatly reduced.To give you vine where you will have as result, including the ideal fruit for making wine.So, you will be dormant, so prune them annually to keep the latter could damage your plants, so taking the right direction every day.

Lowes Grape Plant

Grape growing history is essentially dated ever since Neolithic periods and we should not add more of cultivars that can handle can be purely functional or decorative to fit the wine that you enjoy this smooth, delicious beverage, and you should also be an interesting task to ponder about.Selection of the vines in order to become familiar with.When the grape clusters per row than in a rich source of income for your grapes appropriate sun shine.Even if you are not planted immediately, soak them in the best tips for planting the vines will be useless later on.These are some tips and watch you concord grapes may become tricky for those who are looking into making your own grapes that can wait a while will make your homemade wine making.

The raisin is a vital nutrient for your region is not as hard as all you will make sure to do is get familiarized with the insides.But as time has passed you should consider is to find out which varieties of grapes will demand sunlight, moderate amount of sunlight may cause fungal diseases to develop.The word raisin comes from a variety that you have to provide.Using more wire than required could destroy the vines.The downside of grape varieties, the first season and requires great dedication.

[doll-frakking-house]

Another night of tears and depression naps apparently.

The news about my high hCG levels has me a bit rattled I guess. I'm at 1800 when my levels should be closer to 5 by now. It's highly unusual, raising some concern from my doctor. Now I have to get my blood drawn every week so they can monitor my levels in hopes that the numbers go down over time.

Did you know that my current HCG levels are within the range expected of women who are 6 weeks past their last menstrual cycle? Yeah. No wonder my doc wants to keep a close eye on my hormone levels. Also, high hormones are clearly part of why I'm crying so much. (I'm so sick of crying, guys.)

On the other hand, I read that hCG levels peak during the 8-11th week of pregnancy before they plateau and let the progesterone take over as a primary pregnancy hormone. Even though my baby measured a week behind schedule, I was around 8 weeks pregnant, and my pregnancy symptoms were still raging despite the fact that the heart stopped beating. So maybe my levels are high because I already had peak amounts of hCG in my system in the days leading up to my surgery. Still doesn't explain why I'm not within the bell curve of hCG levels most women have four weeks after they've miscarried.

Why do I have to be a special case? I can't even miscarry normally. What the fuck is wrong with my stupid body? It's like it's trying SO HARD to stay pregnant, but it's not getting the memo that there's no baby anymore. I hate how long this is dragging out. Most people who miscarry can start trying to conceive again after 4-6 weeks. I may have to wait up to three months before I get the all clear.

I'm not sure why my hCG is so high. Either it's just taking a really long time to flush its way out of my system, or I still have "products of conception" which would require a second D&C to move the process along. (I'm STILL bleeding, so this seems like the most likely possibility).

Or, I have a hyperactive thyroid.

Or I'm pregnant--which is impossible bc Jackson and I haven't been intimidate since before the the miscarriage was diagnosed... To me, that may indicate that I have had a heterotopic pregnancy, meaning one egg implanted in the uterus, but a second fertilized egg implanted outside the uterus as an ectopic pregnancy. But the docs haven't found any indication of an ectopic pregnancy, and heterotopic pregnancies are exceedingly rare. Then again, I've already been on the lousy end of a statistic; who's to say it wouldn't happen again...

Or...I have a tumor producing my hCG hormone. But my doc already ruled out a molar pregnancy, so I struggle to believe that I have a cancerous issue. But just because my doc and pathologist didn't find any signs of a mole, doesn't mean the possibility doesn't exist. They just said that the odds of my pregnancy being cancerous was 'exceedingly slim,' which is as conclusive as they can get for such an early miscarriage.

I JUST WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO END. THIS SUCKS. I HATE NOT HAVING ANY RESOLUTION, AND I HATE THAT EVERY TIME I THINK THINGS ARE WINDING DOWN, I'M BURDENED WITH MORE CONCERNS AND MORE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS.

[needlekirby]

the tag game✨ Thank u for tagging me: @spunkyghost rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag other blogs u would like to hear from Nickname: um none I guess ppl used to call me by a bunch of cute nicknames but they would usually only last a few weeks at the most they're adorable but ultimately useless lmao Star sign: Aries Height: I usually just leave it at short and don't bother measuring I would guess 5'2 tho Last thing I googled: 'how to donate books to libraries' Favorite musical artists: oh a ton, disparition, gallant, best coast, lady lamb the beekeeper, j dilla, jinsang, vampire weekend, etc Song stuck in my head: the Netflix unfortunate events theme its quite a sticky lil earworm Last movie I watched: big eyes Last show I watched: Netflix's series of unfortunate events (which is how I ended up with Neil Patrick Harris's voice floating in my brain) What am I wearing rn: it's beddie-bye m8, it's nighttime bro, I'm in me pjs,,, confy When did I create my blog: I'm not sure?? At least 2013 bc I started watching su when it came out in 2013 and I was def talking about it on here but when? Exactly? No clue What do I post: oh u know current events, pretty pictures and art, lots of cats and dogs and animal stuff, fan stuff, standard fare rlly Do I have other blogs: yes my poor unattended art and photography blog @bowlingalleycarpet the poor thing I hardly update it Do I get asks a lot: no i tend to use the messenger more it's a lot easier for me that way but if anyone wants to chat hmu in my asks or in the messenger or wherever Why did I choose my URL: well before I had a really stupid URL and then I changed it to something else and then I started playing ocarina of time for the 3ds and nabooru was my favorite character. So I told myself that this was going to be the last URL change for at least a long time if not forever (and it looks like I've stuck w that so far). Changing urls can cause a lot of confusion so I don't really want to change it unless I have a really good idea for one Gender: I don't really associate my identity with any particular gender but I go by she/her bc I rlly don't care and that's easy Hogwarts house: Harry Potter?? Lol miss me w that geek shit 😎😎😎im just kidding but tbqh I have no idea which Pokemon team: I'm not sure if this is in reference to pokemon go or the main series so I'll do both and say instinct and team skull Fave color: that really dark shade of blue you see on China plates and blue glass and deep magenta and warm peachy-pink and warm rich yellow are all fantastic Average hours of sleep: oh I need a lot of sleep, I usually get 8-9 hours a night otherwise I kinda get these weird moments of vertigo or I feel like my head is fuzzy or full of cotton it may just be me Lucky number: I'm not sure, I would say 3 and multiples of 3 are generally trustworthy Favorite characters: there are so many good ones! I like bilbo, coraline (her book personality I especially like but both are great), klaus from asoue, Connie and Steven from su, mulder and scully, Andy Dwyer, yurio and viktor from yoi, I could go on for days How many blankets do I sleep with: a lot m8 I'm a monster when it comes to blankets and I'm a big slut for throw blankets and comforters especially. I got like 4 on there at least but I can have like 6 or 7 Dream job: a character designer or maybe a writer (except I'm not disciplined at all about actually writing), or just being a part of the animation or filmmaking process seems fun, or being a psychiatrist or counselor would be nice, or just being an artist or illustrator, or arranging flowers, or designing clothes, or cooking there are so many things I'd be down as hell to do for a living Following: so many, a lot of them art art or photo or recipe blogs but I'm not going to least them out if that's what ur asking if would take ages I will tag: @downpuor, @katsuraky, @broadwayholster, @fox-muldr, @ghostofgay,