#promise i'll get back to art next week

[vaexna]

hello everyone . i've been wanting to draw so so so bad but the end of the semester is next week for me and as the dumb college student i am, i decided to cram everything into my brain last minute... so here we are.

but!!! instead, here something i've written !! it's very much about zane and religion because uhhhhhh yeah :D

disclaimer: i didn't proofread. i'm too busy lazy to. thank u for coming to my ted talk <3 if it sounds dumb it's because i'm dumb . it's 1am, and i had the very aggressive urge to write about this dude so here we are, and uhhh my bad LOL

— under the cut ☆ (mwahaha I FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THIS!!)

If there's one thing he could stand by, without doubt or fleeting conviction, it's the fact that he's seen it all. Pyres and caskets, offerings and tombstones. He's been to small churches in the back of tight-knit towns, made of wood and the faith of believers. And he's been to massive cathedrals in the heart of vast kingdoms, intricately made of limestone and the blood of overworked architects that'll die without an ounce of recognition.

He's seen homes fall and villages rise. He's seen sinners look to him for help, or for the idea that they'll be saved if they begged hard enough. He's seen believers wearing their hearts on their sleeves, a bigger evil looming over their shoulders, their hopeful smiles bright as they greet him.

Sinners disguised as saints. Saints broken down by sinners. People who claim to be neutral, others who don't hold faith in their hearts anymore, some who couldn't find faith no matter how hard they tried or wanted to.

As the High Priest of O'khasis, he's seen just about everything. And after so many years of the light shining in his favor, the line between good and evil blurred in his eyes. Some days, he'll find himself teetering back and forth, trying to figure out if there's meaning to being such a high-standing man in a world where bloodshed is just another means to get by.

Love and hate, sin and faith, matrons and destroyers, what good is any of it when death is not an 'if' but 'when'? He knew life and death like he knew the back of his hand, it surrounded him in all of its glorious forms. He's seen it in his brothers, along with his mother's anguish. In the baptisms and weddings he's been invited to perform, with the death of the past and the birth of better days.

Oh, he's seen it all.

So on rainy days like this, it always came back to the question: Was it worth it? Was it worth the grievances and the anger? The sacrifices and the pain? He's made it this far, something ought to come out of this. Not even his brothers, Irene bless their souls, could reach the heights he's towered over.

Yes, of course, there had to be something at the end of this. It just wasn't time yet— No, the better days he was promised since the dawn of time, since the blessings of his birth, it'll all come soon. Or, one day at least.

It couldn't all be in vain. The lives he reaped couldn't be in vain, the paths he destroyed could not have all been in vain. His name would be remembered forever, a mark in history, he had to be something more. Regret and guilt were things he could overlook for the sake of the man he'll be in the future.

He knew relying on hope wasn't a Ro'meave custom, though. That's why he did what he did — his father taught him that if he wanted something, he had to get it himself. And if someone were to ask, "Zane, what do you want?"

His answer would've been long and descriptive at first. Something that of world peace, or blessings given by Irene herself. But these days, he preferred something much more simple.

"Power."

He's lived and learned.

When the light that shone through carefully colored mosaics kissed his skin, he was sure there had to be a God out there to gift the world such beauty. But when whispers passed around of a greater power lurked in the dimension of a long gone warrior, the idea of being a Godlike man himself tasted sweeter than whatever else he was promised in this lifetime.

The line between good and evil was nonexistent to him—he took advantage of both just to get what he desired. What he deserved. He was a self-proclaimed epiphany, and amongst normal men, Zane Ro'meave was both life and death.

Was it worth it?

After all of this effort, he made sure it was.

— ★

ps. would u guys be interested in both art & writing of mine,,,, i do snippets like these in my free time (when i procrastinate) so like i'd be down to show 'em off if u guys are cool with it...

also one of the paragraphs is like weird in here idk it kept getting deleted so i kept having to rewrite it bc it was too good to scrap and i. just gave up. the text is different for that singular paragraph.

ok thanks for reading this im going to bed goodbye goodnight

[woso-dreamzzz]

Different

Arsenal Women x Teen!Reader

Summary: You're different from the other kids

To your Mam, it was like the end of the world.

To you, it was something you had seen approaching from a while away. You'd never been the most coordinated of people. Your spatial awareness was terrible and it was like your limbs applied what your brain told them with a five-second delay.

You'd known since you were little that you were different.

You think your Mam knew too.

You'd never really been able to play football with her, no matter how hard you'd tried when you were younger. Sports weren't your thing.

You knew that she was disappointed in that but she'd tried to find different hobbies for you.

You had cried after your third guitar lesson, your fingers making it difficult to pluck the strings, and you felt the same way about art.

It was only a matter of time that something like this happened. Honestly, you think it should have happened long before that.

Your teachers had always been willing to sweep your bad handwriting under the rug. They had always written it off as you not caring enough or having no interest in the lesson. You were scatterbrained at times and got easily distracted when you were bored. Your hands shook at the idea of catching a ball or using a paintbrush.

Everyone had just put it down to being a slow learner with low self-esteem.

Nobody ever realised you had never really improved.

Except for your math's teacher.

He had noticed the signs this year when he took over your class.

So, here you were, sat in the canteen at Arsenal with hunched shoulders as your mother ranted and raved to the others.

"There's nothing wrong with her!" Katie denied as she paced back and forth in front of you. "Who the hell does he think he is? Saying there's something wrong with her?"

"He actually said that?" Leah asked, eyes wide.

Katie dropped her arms. "Essentially! He said that it was in her best interest to get her tested! There's nothing wrong with her!"

You held your tongue. There was something wrong with you, you thought. You knew you were different to the other kids. You'd made your peace with that a while ago.

You had your exams next year and you dreaded it. It took you nearly a full week to write essays. You didn't know how you would cope if you had to write them under exam conditions.

You clutched at your school report, willing yourself not to cry. It was all the same, each and every one of them.

Homework Performance: Below Average

Assessment Performance: Below Average

In Class Contributions: Average

Overall Grade: F

Comments: y/n is a very bright girl in one-on-one or class discussions but needs to apply herself more in her written work

It was the same thing over and over again. You could do nothing right when it came to written work. You could barely hold your pen or finish off your thoughts within the time frame of your mocks.

"How dare they!" Steph continued, jumping in on what your Mam was saying. "She's very smart! Katie, you can't let them treat her like this!"

You blinked away your tears as Beth ran a soothing hand up and down your arm.

"I'll be having words!" Katie insisted," There's nothing wrong with her! It's not her fault they're not teaching her properly!"

You loved your Mam, you really did but you could never get a word in about this stuff. It had been a constant problem that started all the way back in Year 2 when your teacher brought up serious worries.

'She's just a slow learner' your Mam had insisted. 'She'll get there' she'd promised.

Only you weren't a slow learner and you never did get there.

It was like the rest of your classmates had left you behind in a marathon and you were sprinting just trying to catch up. They had left you behind in the dust until they were nothing but specks in the distance while you had already collapsed from the exhaustion of it all.

You never even crossed the starting line.

More tears fell onto your closed fists. It took everything in you not to cry out loud.

"It's okay," Alessia said softly to you," Katie'll sort it out."

You didn't want Mam to sort it out. You didn't want this to be swept away again.

Your exams were next year and you just wanted someone to fix you. You wanted someone to tell you what was so fucked up in the head that holding a pen in your hand was your version of playing against prime Barcelona for the rest of your life.

"Hey," Leah said. Her hand was on your shoulder now and you tried not to flinch away, hunching your back so you could curl into yourself. "This means nothing. You're so smart and if those teachers are grading you unfairly then Katie's gonna let them have it."

"They're not grading me unfairly," You choked out," I just can't write. Leah, I can't write anything."

"Your handwriting's a little messy," Leah tried to soothe you, not knowing that her misunderstanding of the situation was making everything worse," But that's okay. You've got plenty of time to work on it."

Your eyes flicked to look at her, red and puffy as you beseeched her to understand," I've been working on it my whole life, Leah. I can't write."

"You can."

"Thanks but I need realism right now. I'm failing. Because I can't write during an exam. GCSEs are next summer. I'm screwed."

"It's plenty of time!" Leah said, still trying to hype you up," You'll get there."

"That's what everyone says," You grumbled. You tucked your school report back into your bag.

Your Mam had been writing those off for years, adamant that the teachers were just harsh on you, that slow and steady wins the race. But the race had been long over by now and you were probably closer to the beginning than the finishing line.

"Don't listen to that stupid man," Mam said as she came closer, cradling your cheeks in her hands," He doesn't know what he's talking about. There's nothing to test you about. You're perfect."

You certainly didn't feel perfect. You felt like your world was crumbling and your hands were shaking too much to haul yourself to safety.

You sighed and finally spoke," I want to be tested."

Mam's face turned thundery. "You've no reason to be tested. There's nothing wrong with you."

"There is Mam!" You weren't usually one to shout but this had gone on long enough. "I know it and you know it too. There's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong. You're just a bit different but that's okay."

You pulled yourself out of her arms. "I want to be tested. I'm different to the others and I want to know why."

Mam looked like she wanted to argue but someone came to your rescue.

"Katie," Kim said," Get her tested. I know what you're feeling like but, seriously, get her tested, if only so you can be right and you can yell at more teachers. But, if there is something that's affecting her, surely, you want to get support for her?"

Mam sighed, looking over at you as you sobbed in Viv's arms.

She'd known you were different when you didn't hit your milestones as a baby. You were slow to crawl and slow to walk. She knew you were different the moment you let her throw a ball in your face instead of trying to catch it. She knew you were different when you came home in tears at age five because you couldn't write properly or when you got teased at school because your shaking hands couldn't control the paintbrush either.

Katie knew you were different but that didn't mean you were broken. Being tested for something made it seem like there was something wrong. There was nothing wrong with you and Katie would kill anyone who insinuated otherwise.

"Katie," Kim said again," She wants to be tested. Her teachers think it's a good idea. She needs this if only to be a bit more settled."

Katie looked back at you as Lia and Laura offered you food and drink to refuel from your impromptu public breakdown. She sighed.

"I'll...I'll call her Maths teacher back, see if he says any recommendations for where."

[alicenpai]

princess tutu: die jahreszeiten 🌸 kind of a companion piece to my 2022 ptutu drawing | it's on inprnt this print was at anime north; next con is otakuthon! (oh yeah it's also my bday feel free to send me wishes if ya like)

oops so my hand slipped and i made another princess tutu drawing. i admittedly don't watch that much anime so my catalogue of work is gonna be the same 5 animes LMAO. what can i say, i love "dark" fairy tales, and i've been really enjoying the more fine art approach to a lot of my drawings as of late (and the watercolour brush i've been using has been so perfect for that...!) as my first princess tutu drawing is now 2 years old, there are some areas i've grown to have ... qualms with, particularly the anatomy and the faces... although both drawings as a whole are pretty much exactly what i envisioned, and that's always satisfying!

both of these were drawn in roughly a week's time (yes really...) for con crunch period (and i went back to this drawing after the con to touch up some areas that were a bit rough!). i wanted a different approach to this new pt drawing, with the focus on the line work, rather than on colours and lighting in the 2022 drawing. this was both to continue the style i adopted in my witch hat atelier "lantern bearers" drawing (which i promise i'll post in full soon as soon as all of the zine artists get their go-ahead to post their pieces!), and to emulate the art nouveau movement's heavy emphasis on line work, albeit not a 1:1 style replication of course.

the seasons also aren't a 1:1 representation, as i didn't necessarily pick flowers or colours that are most strongly associated with the season (e.g. summer being a dark tone is a bold choice?). but it's kinda whatever, as i said before i drew this in a week, there may be more appropriate flowers with better meanings. I'LL WRITE MORE ON THE FLOWERS LATER... - spring: apple blossoms, tulips - summer: deadly nightshade flower, yellow rose - autumn: douglas fir needles, orange calla lily - winter: birch tree, snowdrop

[churipu]

Hellooo! I saw ur reqs wer open and I wanted to know if its oknif ok if u can write abt the jjk men being their for their gf's performance/exhibit for school or work when their family or friends can't make it?

(I love how how the way you write them as well! I found u through the nanami oneshot and I've just been on ur masterlist reading through all of ur fics and drabbles, esp now with me going through the same thing as above 💛)

𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐓 .ᐟ

❪ jjk men showing up in your art exhibition when nobody did ❫

────── 𝕴 . featuring. gojo satoru, nanami kento, itadori yuuji x fem! reader

────── 𝕴 . warnings. none :)

note. hi nonnie :( thank you so much for the love, i'm so sorry for the delay, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i'm 100% sure whatever you were presenting to everyone was awesome! i love you <33

𝜗𝜚 . GOJO SATORU

gojo has received your heads up regarding an art exhibit a week prior. he'd notice the way you've been very very excited about having your art work presented for people to see. and he's happy to see you happy.

he made it extra clear he wanted nothing with the jujutsu world the day your exhibit was held — all he wanted was a nice and peaceful day to spend with his partner. gojo woke up extra early to send you off, helping you get ready.

the way your smile lit up his morning, he couldn't even get back to sleep right after, seeing how happy you are with today. gojo can't even wait for the time to struck twelve for the exhibition opening, and so he got there an hour early.

he was silent with his movements, a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his grasp as he paced around the crowded area — blue eyes averting everywhere to look for you. with his height, finding you wasn't too hard for him.

pushing through oceans of humans, he stood right in front of you. the solemn look on your face doesn't go unnoticed, "hi, baby."

you look up to see him and crack a smile, "you came."

gojo grins down at you, "of course i did, can't miss my girl's exhibition, can i?" his large hand covered the top of your head, "why the frown? are you not happy to see me?"

chuckling, you shake your head, "no. my parents couldn't make it, they were too busy with work."

and you were so excited to show them your art work too. gojo didn't forget the way you rambled on about how your parents were going to love it — especially when it was dedicated to them. and they butchered it up by choosing work over you.

this time, gojo frowns along with you, "they didn't show up?"

with a shake of your head, gojo pulls you into his embrace, "i'm sorry that happened, show me everything? i arrived here an hour ago to see you, you know?"

"one hour? so early and for what?"

"to see you, silly. i couldn't wait to see all your works," he pressed his lips onto your forehead, "and this is for my beautiful girl."

he handed you the bouquet and laced his fingers with yours, "let's get some food after this? it's a date."

"it's a date!" you smiled, no longer feeling upset.

𝜗𝜚 . NANAMI KENTO

people always tell you to never get excited over small things, but you couldn't help it — the slightest things made you really happy, but at the same time, the slightest things made you sad as well.

i'm sorry, can't come to the exhibit. something came up, i'll try to swing by next time y/n! maybe next year? sorry :(

you read the text over and over again. this should be fine, (friend) was probably just busy with their day so they couldn't drop by — no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it was fine. you didn't feel like it. they promised.

"i'm sorry i'm late, y/n."

turning around to look at the source of the voice, there stood your boyfriend. sweat dribbling down the side of his face, hair disheveled with shallow and rapid breaths. he looked like he just ran a marathon.

"kento? i thought you couldn't make it—"

nanami shook his head, "i made time for you, i will always make time for you," he gave you a small smile.

"you're not late, just in time actually," you switched your phone off, shoving it inside the back pocket of your jeans, "thank you for coming for me."

he wiped his sweat, standing up straight, stepping towards you, "where are your friends? they should be here now, are they not?"

the corner of your lips tugged downwards. it was embarrassing as it is, and now you had to tell him that they weren't coming. it's like a slap to the face, "um . . . they aren't coming. something came up, and i guess they couldn't come."

nanami's eyebrows twitched slightly, but he said nothing. his hand reached out for yours, giving it a slight squeeze, "spend the rest of your day with me?"

you blinked, "how about work?"

"don't worry about my work, you come first, understood?" he brushed his fingers through your hair, pulling you in for a brief kiss.

𝜗𝜚 . ITADORI YUUJI

maybe the fact that your parents were workaholics made you a better person. maybe the fact that your parents were workaholics pushed you to do better — like a cry for attention. but for some apparent reason, they never seemed to be satisfied with what you're doing.

"art brings you no good, what are you going to be? an artist? do you know how much they earn a year?"

don't be an artist this. don't be an artist that. it was pretty expected that your invitation for them was discarded with no thoughts behind. hell, they didn't even spare it a glance.

and yet, the little girl in you still hoped that they'd show up — even just for a while.

they didn't, it should be obvious. you saw it coming, but it still hurts anyways. however, itadori yuuji showed up; and he was like a ball of sunshine, so you couldn't help but to be happy as well. especially with how packed his schedule is, he still made the time to stop by.

"baby!"

"yuuji!"

he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tight hug, carrying you around with ease, "sorry i came a little late, kugisaki needed me to bring her shopping bags back to the cab. where are your parents? they should be here, right?"

right. they should have.

"no, they didn't come," you murmured into the crook of his neck before pulling your head back with a sad smile plastered to your face, "but i'm okay, you're here now!"

yuuji puckered his lips out slightly, "i'm going to pester gojo-sensei to let me off for the rest of the day, i need to be here with you."

you shake your head, "you can't, what if you have a mission?"

"fushiguro can take over, pretty. don't worry about my missions," yuuji replied, nuzzling his nose to the side of your face, "plus, how can i leave you alone here, huh?"

"you're the sweetest, yuuji. but what if it's an important mission?" you pinched his cheeks gently, pulling them.

"fushiguro can take over, he's strong. and there's kugisaki, and the second year students. they'll manage," he retorted, pecking your cheek before letting you down.

"you're too nice, yuuji."

"i love you. and show me your works, i can't wait to see them, you know? kugisaki wanted pictures!"

© churipu 2024 , do not copy or repost anywhere

[jacaerysgf]

Econ tutor | 100 Follower Special

Summary: You're failing econ and you need to pass this semester. When you asked your professor he told you he would assign you a tutor, Ethan Landry.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x Fem!reader

Warnings: SLOWBURN, fluffy, he fell first and fell harder, no ghostface au! Ooc characters (Happy friend group laugh out loud), ethan gives me peanut allergy vibes, misunderstanding trope, strangers to friends to lovers, not proofread.

word count: 9.3k

Looking at the grade from your most recent test on canvas you can only groan and put your head in your hands, You suck at econ. Econ aka economics is one of the worst classes ever invented. 

You couldn't fail this class, you needed it to graduate and you definitely weren't repeating it especially when you paid a lot of money to take it. As a freshman at Blackmore University you needed to take econ for your degree and it sucks. 

You should email your professor and ask if he's free. You draft out an email and during his open hours you send it to ask if he has any advice for you to improve your grade. Just like any other professor he of course does not answer you within a reasonable time and all you can do is stress out for the next week.

He finally gets back to you and tells you to meet him after your last class. You dreadfully walk your way to his class and knock on the door. "Come in." You open the door and see your professor standing by his desk with a boy who must be the same age standing stiffly near him.

You make your way towards them and you feel confused, Did you get the time wrong? No, you repeatedly checked the time and date so you can't be wrong.

Your questions are quickly answered as he begins to speak. "This is Ethan Landry, he's a star student and he's agreed to tutor you and prepare you for the final." The final was a couple months away as it was only just the beginning of the second semester and you needed to pass it to pass the class.

You look at Ethan who smiled as soon as you looked at, "It's nice to meet you." "It's nice to meet you too." He's not bad to look at, at all. He's got a nice smile and curly hair, he wears a plain black hoodie and blue jeans with sneakers. He's cute. 

The professor goes over some other things like scheduling and how you two should scheduling meeting days. Once you two are dismissed you are standing outside of his room with him.

"So, could I get your number?" He looks at you shocked, his face slightly red, "You know, so I can text you and we schedule a day to meet." He looks embarrassed, "Oh right." 

You hand him your phone and he puts his number in and hands it back. An awkward silence falls over you as you bounce heel to toe. "So.... When are you free?"

"What?" "You know, like for our first session." You're shocked his face can get anymore red, "Right! I'm free any day. I never really have anything planned. Oh my god that sounds so lame I mean I have plans sometimes just not anytime soon-""Ethan." You're laughing. He's really cute.

He's looking down at his feet as he kicks some of the pebbles on the ground. "I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. Promise." He nods. seemingly not believing in you as you continue. "So, What about thursday? I get out of my liberal arts class at 2 then I'm free for the rest of the day." 

He nods, "I get out of algebra at 2:30 if you're willing to wait." You nod as you smile. “That's fine, We could meet in the library?” He nods, “yes that works.” You smile as he lifts his head, “I really want to thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it.” He nods and scratches the back of his neck with a sheepish grin, “It's no problem really.” 

You begin to walk back and wave “I'll see you.” You turn back before he gets to say anything and head to your dorm for the day, exhausted after your morning classes. He seems like the nerdy smart type and that’s good because you really need help with this class. You should find a way to thank him for doing this.

It's monday so you have a couple days until your first session. For some odd reason you can't wait to study econ.

–

‘Do you have a favorite dessert?’ Ethan can barely believe his eyes at the text you just sent him. It's Tuesday and he doesn't have class on Tuesday so he spends the morning at the gym, sweat dripping down his face as he reads over the text you sent. Dessert? Why were you asking him about the dessert? “It's the first text you sent him other than a confirmation text to confirm it was actually his number (a text he totally did not stress over for about ten minutes before he answered) 

He couldn't believe his luck when his econ professor had come up to him and asked if he would tutor you since you were failing the class. You being the person he had a massive crush on since he first saw you walking around campus, then he found out you were in the same econ class as him and began to sit closer to you during class so he could look at you. Not in a stalker way of course. He didn't mention this to anyone, especially not Chad, his roommate and the person who he considers to be his best friend. Chad would definitely find a way to make fun of him and beg him to ask you out at any given moment. 

When he was talking to you yesterday he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He made a fool out of himself and he was embarrassed, of course the first time he tries to talk to you he ruins it. You laughed at him, your laugh is nice so is your smile it's so much better when directed at him than seeing you smile from across the room. “What's got you smiling like that huh?” Chad had walked up to him with a curious look on his face and a grin. “Nothing.” Ethan quickly turned off his phone as Chad crossed his arms, “Nope what is it.” Ethan sighs, “It's nothing really.” His phone dings and before Ethan can blink, Chad is snatching it out of his hand, “Hey!” You texted again, ‘also do you have any allergies?’ Ethan tries to get the phone back but Chad is looking at it with a tilted head, “Y/n? With heart next to it dude you never told me you got a girlfriend.” Ethan manages to get the phone back and shakes his head, “She's not my girlfriend.” Chad now has a look on his face that Ethan does not like, “Oh you got a crush on the girl, got it.” 

Ethan groans as he sits down on the bench, This isn't good. “I dont think ive heard of her, I'm gonna ask Tara if she knows her.” Chad pulls out his phone. “Please don't.” “aaaaaaand send, oh no too late.” Ethan groans and lays back on the bench with his head in his hands. This is the worst, exactly what he was trying to avoid. Ethans phone buzzes and he looks at it, ‘No way your nerd ass has a crush on that hottie LOL.’ He throws the phone on the ground next to him and covers his face. Chad laughs, “Oh she works with Tara and is her lab partner, ooo she sent me her insta.” Ethan’s ears burn, he is so embarrassed. “Oh she's cute, ask her out.” 

Ethan finally sits up, “No way.” Chad rolls his eyes, “Dude why not.” Ethan shakes his head, “She doesn't like me. She doesn't even know me.” Chad sits on the bench next to him, “If she doesn't like you then why the hell is she asking you if you're allergic to anything?” “I dont know im her tutor for econ-” “woah woah woah woah back up.” Ethan sighs, “You're her tutor??” “Starting thursday.” He can't wait for Thursday, it had only been a day since he found out and he could barely contain his excitement. “Oooo the perfect opportunity to ask. her. out.” “Chad-” “Think about it, you two are sitting cozy in your bed going over notes-” “Why are we in my bed?” “And you make a move on her, it's perfect.” “You're ridiculous.”  “I'm not being ridiculous, I'm being serious, ask her out.”

Ethan stands up and cleans up his stuff to leave, “Nope and this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you.” Chad shakes his head, “Don’t worry man I got you.” “Don't even think about it.”

–

‘Um, I like cookies.’

‘Allergies? I'm allergic to peanuts.’

You had settled on making him a dessert as a gift most people like desserts right?. Cookies it is. You started researching different recipes and planned out a day to go get ingredients when you got a text from tara. 

‘Hey, are you free on friday?’

You groan and hope she's not about to ask you to cover a shift for her, Fridays are usually a free day for you, no classes and no school so you're free to do what you want and you do not want to spend another Friday covering a shift.

‘If you need me to cover a shift for you, no but if it's for anything else then yes.’

‘You wouldnt cover for me 🙁’

‘No way.’

‘Im joking, you're coming with me to go bowling with my friends. Five. be dressed i'm gonna come pick you up.’

‘Do I have a choice? You never invite me to these things.’

‘Nope. love you <;3’

Why does she want you to come? It's an odd request because despite the fact you two are close you've never been invited to hang with her friend group, you don't even know who’s in said group. You thumbs down her last message before going back to your cookie research. 

–

“She’s coming!” “Nice!” Ethan glares at Tara and Chad as they high five and peck lips in his dorm. “What are you two talking about?” Tara smiles at him as she moves to leave for the night, “Oh nothing, just got you a bowling partner for friday, you're welcome.” Ethan tilts his head confused, “I thought Quinn was gonna be my partner.” His sister, Quinn, while not a main member of their friend group, usually joined them for these sorts of hang outs, “She cant make it she needs to make up a test for physics.” 

Ethans earlier conversation with Chad plays in his mind as he looks at them, “What did you two do?” “Nothing! Goodnight!” “Tara!” She runs out the door and he turns to Chad, “Don't you dare tell me-” “You're welcome.” 

Ethan flops onto his bed and sighs. He should have never let Chad find out and now Tara knew and that only made it worse. He runs his hands over his face, he really likes you and he doesn't want to ruin it, now he would be partnered with you for bowling and the worst thing is he sucks at bowling. 

–

It was wednesday and you were in lab with tara doing some research lab, she was clearly not interested in it though as she started talking to you.

"So I heard you're getting tutored for econ." you turn to her shocked, "how did you hear about that?" she rolls her eyes, "um i'm dating chad?" "I know? what does that have to do with anything?" she gives you a dumbfounded look, "Ethan is Chad's roommate? And my friend? did you seriously not know this, he's gonna be there on friday."

oh. "No?!? why would i know that tara i usually tune out whenever you start talking about him-" "hey what's that supposed to mean-" "it means i don't want to hear about you and what your boyfriend are up to especially knowing you-" "knowing me?-" "you're gonna say something weird so i tune out-" "I would never." You give her a blank stare and she shrugs, "You're just mad I have a hot boyfriend. I knew it."

You groan and look at your paper and begin to work, "definitely not jealous tara." "sure...." for a few moments it's quiet and you hope that's the end of her questioning but of course, "there has to be a guy you think is cute."

You look at her, "What?" "Is there a guy you think is cute?" "Tara, stop pushing your relationship agenda onto me. I don't need a boyfriend- ""or a girl I don't judge-" "tara." "One person just named one."

you roll your eyes, "i don't know," You think and your mind automatically drifts back to ethan. You two haven't texted since you asked him about desserts but right now when asked if there's a guy you think is cute all you can think about are his dreamy eyes and curly hair. "Ethans pretty cute." You blurt out before you can stop yourself and slap your hand over your mouth, tara grins. You don't like that grin.

"I see...." "I didn't mean to say that-" "okay...." "Tara forget about it." "No way." she pulls her phone and texts someone while you can only look at her with horror. "Who are you texting?" "nobody." she smiles as she puts her phone down and goes back to work, "Oh come on we need to finish this paper." "I hate you."

--

Thursday had rolled around faster than you thought it would. Yesterday after your work shift you walked to the grocery store and picked up what you needed to make a (hopefully) good batch of cookies. Walking out of your liberal arts class you walk back to your dorm and pick up the cookies you made and make your way to the library.

You sit down at one of the empty tables and text him where you're sitting. You don't receive a response until 2:30, 'Okay! I'll meet you there, just need to run back and grab my econ textbook.'

He walks in at 2:45, he spots you and smiles as he moves towards you. "Hi." "Hey there." He sits across from you. He looks cute today, he's wearing a red sweater with black jeans, and his hair looks really soft. "So..." You realize you're staring and look down at your notes you had pulled out. “Um….” It's awkward, his face is red and he’s fiddling around with his papers. You need to end this before you guys just end up sitting here in silence. “Do you mind if we start with the recent test, I'm sorry but it's just… It was really bad.” You laugh and he smiles, “No I mean yes! Of course we can.” As soon as you begin you fall into an easy conversation, He’s way more confident while going over Econ, you realize it's kind of hot that he’s so smart. 

“I'm sorry but I don't know how much more econ I can take for the day.” You rub your head as he laughs. It's now after six and you're starving. “That's okay, we can wrap up for the day and continue next time.” You two pack up and walk out the library together, the sun is set so it's dark out and he looks at you worried, “I didn't even notice the sun had set.” You say looking at the sky, “Please it's my fault let me walk you to your dorm.” You laugh and shake your head, he looks really worried and apologetic, it's cute. “Ethan really it's okay not your fault at all, probably mine to be honest i really didn't get all that inflation stuff.”  You really sucked at anything with money, especially if it's in economics, you two had to sit there for an hour as he went over just that one question with you.  

“No.. really it was- i mean please let me walk you there. I would feel bad letting you walk on your own, not that you can't take care of yourself of course but you know it's late and there are a lot of weird guys walking around right now i kind of seem like a weird guy don't i shit-""Ethan!” You're laughing, he really is so cute. He stares at you amazed at you laughing before he looks down, “I'm sorry, I can go-'' He quickly turns to leave but you grab his arm to stop him. His arm feels muscular, does he have muscles? No… is he really underneath all those baggy hoodies and sweaters he wears? He turns back to you alarmed, “Walk me home? Maybe you're right there are a lot of weirdos around and I need a big strong guy over 6 ft to protect me, don't you think?” 

You squeeze his arm reassuringly as his face burns and his ears go red. You're teasing him, you look at the look on his face and think about apologizing before he speaks again, “Yes.” 

You swear you saw him puff his chest slightly. You almost laugh but after seeing his reaction last time you dont and smile at him as you let go of his arm, "my dorm is this way." you lead him and he walks next to you side by side. "Wait here." He switches places with you so he's next to the road, He's sweet. You two fall into a comfortable silence, it's nice. He bumps into you slightly as you walk, his arms are warm. Your hands brush against each other but before anything else can come from it you arrive at your door.

"Thank you for everything I mean, I really appreciate it." "It's no problem really." You nod as he turns to leave, he makes it a few steps before you call after him, "Wait! shit i can't believe i almost forgot." He turns to you confused, "is everything-" "I made these for you." Youre hold out a container for him and he stares at it, "They're cookies." 

He looks at you in disbelief, "You mentioned you liked them so I thought I would make you some, you know, as a thank you for tutoring me." He stares at you not moving, "if you don't want them that's okay too i promise i didn't poison them." You try to awkwardly joke, feeling a little defeated he didn't want the cookies. He snaps back and shakes his head furiously, "no no no no i want them thank you im just, really shocked." He takes the container out of your hands and holds them as if he fears they're gonna be taken away from him. "Thank you." he says quietly, looking at the container. 

"no thank you." You walk back and get to your door, still standing there looking at you. You smile at him and wave "Bye I'll see you tomorrow!" 

--

He's frozen outside your dorm as he stares at where you were just standing. He's gripping the container tightly in disbelief. You had made him cookies. The last time someone made him cookies was his mom who died years ago. He looks down at the container as his hands begin to shake.

He realizes how crazy he must look, standing outside your dorm so he quickly begins to walk to his dorm. His face hurts from how hard he's grinning, all the time he thinks he can't fall any deeper for you he does. Today was the best day ever, you two sat there for hours. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest every time you looked at him while he was going over a topic. When you got so excited every time something finally made sense and you looked at him, your face covered with a smile, he felt like he couldn't breathe. 

When you were asking him questions all he could do was stare at you. You were the most beautiful girl in the world to him. He opens his door and enters his dorm, the large grin never leaving his face. "Awe look at you." Chad was leaning against a wall and smiling, "You're adorable." Ethan ignores Chad as he moves past him to his bed. He places the container on his desk and his bag on his chair then sits on his bed to take off his shoes"what's this huh?" Chad inspects the container of cookies with a teasing look. "Put that down." 

Chad opens the container, "Cookies? Where did you get these? Can I have one?" Ethan rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "Get out." Chad hums his thoughts and his eyes light up, "did y/n make these for you? oooooo i get it loverboy you don't want me to have any of the sweet cookies your girlfriend made with love for you." Ethan stands and snatches the container out of his hands, "Shut up!" He's red and his grin still hasn't left, Chad looks happy. "So anything fun happens?" Ethan shakes his head, "We just did econ that's all." "boring.'' Chad leaves not before yelling a quick ask her out. Ethan begins to rethink the day. Every Time he thinks he's done something right with you he always finds a way to mess it up.

He takes a shower and changes into his clothes for bed and as he's about to sleep he eyes the container of cookies. He takes one and bites into it. It's sweet.

--

You close the room to your dorm and sigh. The tutor session kicked your ass, you kicked off your shoes and threw your tote bag to the ground and layed down on your bed. Today went well, you were shocked when you looked at your notes you could actually comprehend what any of it meant. It was all thanks to ethan. 

You were shocked you found yourself enjoying his presence so much. It was weird, you didn't expect yourself to like him as much as you did. He was smart, kind, he made you laugh, he didn't degrade you when you didn't understand the topics he went through it with you slowly and made sure to go over anything thoroughly, he wasn't like most of the other guys on campus who were douchebags. you were glad you got ethan as your econ tutor.

--

It's now Friday, almost five as you put the finishing touches on your outfit. As you get a text from tara, 'HERE COME OUT NOW' you roll your eyes and grab your bag and walk out the door.

A large group of people are out there chatting, you don't recognize most of them. The door closes behind you and all the heads turn towards you. 

"Hey dude." "Hey tara." Tara rushes over and gives you a hug. "So this is mindy, chad, anika," They all smile at you, you notice mindy and anika holding hands and standing side by side, anika waves while mindy nods. Chad is standing behind Tara and gives you a knowing smile, "and of course you know ethan." Ethan. He's standing in the back with his hands in his jeans, he's wearing a blue polo shirt with a black jacket. He looks really cute. 

You smile back at him and look into his eyes. He locks eyes with you and he smiles. "Wait, you two know each other?" Mindy asks with an accusing finger. "I tutor her for econ." "really?" Anika looks back at Ethan who nods. 

Tara claps and gets everyone's attention, "enough standing around let's move guys." Tara wraps her arm around chads and begins to walk, mindy and anika following closely behind leaving you and ethan walking side by side. 

"I really liked the cookies." You turn to him as he looks away, you smile as a warm feeling fills your chest. "I'm glad." 

"So did i." Chad looks back with a smile, "you had one?" Ethan asks with a glare, "we split one, you need to make some for me." Tara calls from the front. "I will as long as you stop asking me to cover for you at work." She gasps, "I would never." You give her a blank look as she laughs.

"So how long have you two been studying together?" Anika looks back at you with a smile, "um, we only had one session yesterday, he's supposed to be tutoring me until the final." You look at Ethan who has a big smile on his face. Anika looks at the two of you and gives mindy a knowing look.

An easy conversation begins to flow between you all as you walk to the bowling alley. You sneak glances at Ethan who wears a grin on his face while everyone in the group teases him for whatever they 're currently talking about. You like the way he acts around his friends, he's a little more confident as he shuts Chad up for making fun of his messy room or arguing with mindy about some horror movie. It was nice, the night hadn't even begun but you felt like you hadn't had this much fun in forever.

You all finally arrive at the place and they all rush to get their shoes. "So the pairs will be, me and tara, anika and mindy then y/n and ethan." "Oh we'll be in pairs?" you turn to ethan and smile, "we're gonna win." His face is red but he nods, "Definitely." 

"I'd like to see you try dude." Chad slaps his back he leans in close to you, "fyi he's terrible at bowling." "Dude!" Chad runs away before Ethan can say anything else. "I'm not good either, it's okay, as long as I do better than Tara I don't care." To this he laughs, "Oh we definitely need to do better than tara." You two laugh as you go to collect your shoes and pick your ball.

"Can you hurry or else I'm gonna put you last." You walk over to Tara and roll your eyes, "you're gonna put me last anyways." She gasps, "I would-" "never yes I know." She pouts as you sit next to anika. 

Ethan makes his way over and sits down next to you. The order is decided to be anika, mindy, you, ethan, chad then tara. 

As anika takes her turn Chad starts talking to you. "So how long have you and Tara been friends?" You think before answering, "um, I had been working at this place for a couple years and I had heard about her when she was hired. Never got the chance to talk with her until we started working the same shifts. We got along and soon found out we attend the same school. We got the same lab class, she became my partner and she's been bothering me ever since." "Hey." 

"So you've been living in New York your whole life?" Ethan asks, "yup born and raised." Mindy cheers anika up as she misses her shot, Mindy walks up to take her turn, not before giving anika a kiss and anika sits down. “So what are we talking about?” You guys flow into an easy conversation, mostly about yourself, like your major or what your interests are before it's your turn. 

“Can I admit something?” you turn to the group, “I have no clue how to bowl.” Tara looks at you shocked, “No…” You laugh, “I seriously never have before.” “Well I can-” “Ethan can show you how to.” Chad is quick to interrupt anika, the two share a look, “oooooo yeah yeah yeah yeah can definitely show you right ethan.” The rest of them start to encourage him as he gives them a look you can't read. “I don't really care who teaches me, I just wanna throw this thing away.” Ethan stands, “I can do it.” He moves to take off his jacket and you're greeted by the sight of his muscular arms. 

Wow. He really does have muscles.  You stare at his arms as he walks towards you. You've always thought he was cute but he just got so much hotter. His shoulders are large, and the polo on him is tighter than you thought, his chest pressing against the fabric. 

You look at his face finally and see it's very red and he's standing stiff. Oh my god you were blatantly checking him out. you turn your back towards him and go to pick up your ball. The group behind you laughs as Ethan walks towards you. you put your fingers in the holes and pick up the ball.

"So when you're throwing it you want your arm to be straight..." You try to correct your arm position and look at him, "like this?" he shakes his head, "no it's more... um do you mind if i..." you nod as he comes closer to readjusting you himself, his warm body is basically pressed against you as he moves your arms and shoulders slightly. "That's better." It's a small whisper in your ear but your face burns.

God when did he get so hot. No he always was but right now it's all you can think about. Fuck. He moves his hand to cover yours, "and when you throw it it's something like... this." he sways your hand and you let go of the ball. You watch as the ball rolls and it knocks all the pins down. 

"No way." You cheer as you turn to face him, "I did it!" you hug him and he stands stiff. You let go and turn towards the rest of the group who clap. "Good job." "Nice!"

"That was really good." His ears are red as you mumbles out the words. "Well it's all thanks to my wonderful teacher." You smile at him and he looks away, "no...." 

"enough flirting then it's your turn." Mindy yells as the rest of the group laughs. You walk back to the rest of the group and sit down and watch ethan. He stands still for a few seconds before shaking it off and walking towards his ball.

You had no clue what Chad was talking about because Ethan continued to get strikes, if not really good scores for the rest of the night. You're shocked by this and seemingly the rest of the group is too.

When you go to the bathroom the group confronts him."When the hell did you get so good at bowling? Have you been practicing?" Ethans face is shocked and he quickly blinks his eyes and shakes his head, "No..." Chad catches this and laughs, "No way you've really been practicing." "It's not true!" His face feels hot and he quickly looks down at his feet.

"Why did you practice?" Anika asks, "Clearly because he didn't want to humiliate himself in front of his little girlfriend." Tara laughs and Ethan feels like he wants to curl up into a ball and die.

Yes he had been practicing, any hour he could squeeze in since finding out you would be joining them for bowling night he came down to the bowling alley to practice. He was bad, the worst of the group at least and now he can compete with Chad in score. You come back soon enough, you question what they were talking about but they all just laugh.

You cheer as Ethan throws his last strike signifying your win. “We did it!” You hug him as he walks over, unlike last time he hugs you back and squeezes you tightly. You pull back and look at him and smile, “I didn't know you were that good.” 

He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head, “I'm not-” “Yes you are.” You slap his chest lightly and he looks shocked. “Stop putting yourself down, you carried my ass through that game, admit it.” He shakes his head, his grin is large as he looks down, ��No-” “Stop it!” You turn back to the rest of the group who all have grins on their face, “What?” 

“Oh nothing.” Tara says as she stands up, “It's later than i thought lets go i have to open tomorrow.” “Do you really? I'm close.” “Shit you're so lucky.”  “Am i really i have to close for your messy ass.” She shoves you and you laugh. 

You all leave together and walk back to the dorns. When you all get there they all turn to you. “You passed congrats.” You look confused, “What?” “I told you guys she was great.” “I wish Sam could have made it.” “What's happening?” “Welcome to the friend group!” You think before realization hits you, “Oh!” You laugh, “Thanks guys.”

They all say their goodbyes and anika gives you a hug before they all walk off to their dorms. Ethan stays with you and fiddles with his hands. “I thought i should walk you to your dorm, its-” “Late, yes it is, thank you my knight in shining armor.” He looks away and you two walk side by side to your dorm.

You admire him, as you two walk in silence. At your door you say goodbye and wave and he waves back at you as you close your door.

–

It had only been a few weeks since then, study sessions were going really well. You two began to grow closer over the weeks but there still seemed to be something blocking you two from getting closer. As for the friend group, you soon met Sam and Quinn who were more than welcoming to you. You watched as Quinn would tease her brother and how embarrassed he would get when she would tell you embarrassing stories about him from when he was younger. 

You had just finished up a successful study session with ethan and you two walked out the library, you pulled out the container of cookies for him and handed them to him with a smile, “Here you go kind sir.” He smiled and shook his head, “Thank you. You know you don't have to do this for me everytime.” You laugh it off, “I need to thank you somehow.”

He stood there with a contemplating look on his face. It had started to stay lighter outside later in the day so you didn't need him to walk you back to your dorm (He still did) but now he realized you two could do something else instead of just walking home. “Do you want to eat them with me?” You look at him confused, “I mean.. There a cafe down the block we can go there get some coffee or whatever and eat them together.” The look on your face must have sent the wrong message because he immediately starts to back track. “I mean if you want to i don't want to do anything you don't want to its a stupid idea anyway i'll just walk you back to-” “Ethan i'd love to.” He gulps, “Really?” You nod with a grin, “seriously. I mean i made them with browned butter this time they have to be my best batch yet.” You two began to walk side by side to the cafe, you made some small talk about if the group was hanging out tomorrow and he answered that they wanted to go to sams for dinner. When you two arrived he turned and asked if you wanted something to drink, you stared at the menu until something caught your eye and asked for that. He ordered your drink and a hot chocolate for him. He pulls out his card and pays as you insist you should, “You made the cookies let me pay.” You give him a look as you reluctantly agree.

Once you two have your drinks you two decide to sit at one of the benches outside since it was good weather out. He pulls out the container of cookies and admires them, “They do look really good.” “What did you not think they would.” You're kidding but he looks up alarmed, “i didn't mean-” “i'm kidding ethan.” you put a hand on his arm and squeeze it reassuringly.

He smiles and nods as he takes two cookies and hands one to you, “cheers?” you take it and link them together, “Cheers.” 

you both took a bite and he immediately hummed, “this really is so good.” “I know.” you both laugh.

as he dunks his cookie into his hot chocolate you look at him as you think to yourself that he looks so content while eating the cookie.

“Is there a reason why you like cookies?”

he looks up at you with a shocked face, “what?” you shrug, “i mean there are so many other desserts and most people prefer other things so is there a reason? other than that they taste good of course.”

he laughs and shakes his head, “um.” He coughs before he continues, “my mom used to make cookies when i was young.” you look at him shocked he never talks about his mom. “Whenever I would do well on a test or in soccer she would make a big batch of cookies and would sit with me and eat them with me with a big glass of milk.” He laughs with a smile on his face, “whenever i would get a milk mustache she would laugh and wipe it off with the biggest smile on her face.” His voice quiets down and you can see his hands begin to shake.

“ethan.” you grab his hand and squeeze it, “i'm sorry.” he wipes his eyes with his other hand then places it on top of yours. “its okay ethan.” he shakes slightly as he begins to cry, “i miss her, so much.” 

You feel like something is squeezing at you heart as you you watch him you get up from you seat and he looks up at you in shock, you move to sit next to him and wrap your arms around him, “Im so sorry ethan.” he leans into you and cries, “I'm sorry-” “you shouldn't apologize, its okay.” he sniffles as he looks up at you, “Thank you.” 

–

Your feelings for Ethan grew into something more but you didn't know how to put it in words. You soon understood them when it was the beginning of may, only two more weeks until your final and you were beginning to stress out. Ethan told you not to worry and everything would go well but you couldn't help it. Even though your test scores had improved and you began to understand a lot of the material you couldn't help but worry over the class.

During one of your own personal study sessions in the library you realize you ran out of paper for your binder and needed to go get more. You were standing in the subway waiting for the train to arrive stressed out of your mind, this was the last thing you needed to happen right now and you had no clue how to calm down. Once the train arrived you walked on and realized there were no open seats, of course, great. You walk over to one of the poles but you see Ethan sitting on one of the benches. A wave of unexpected relief flows through your bones seeing him you didn't know why. 

He notices you and smiles, he gestures you towards him and you realize the seat next to him is open just being covered by his bag. You smile in relief and rush over. “Thank you oh my god you're a lifesaver.” He just laughs, “It's not a problem.”

The train begins to move as he turns to you, “So what are you doing out?” You sigh and the worry begins to flood back into your body. “I was studying econ and then I ran out of paper for my binder so I have to go get some and I'm just so stressed out because I need to do well-” “Hey.” He places his hand on yours and you turn to him.

He's giving you a pleading look as he squeezes your hand, “Please relax,” You sigh, “I cant-” “Yes you can just relax, hey… um i'll come with you to go get the binder paper.” “Really?” “Yeah definitely.”

You smile at him, “Okay.” Now feeling a little more calm you look in your bag for your airpods to listen to some music but soon realize you left them at your dorm. You groan and set your back down by your feet causing Ethan to look at you alarmed, “I left my earbuds at my dorm.”

He looks down at the phone in his hair and hesitates before taking out the other airpod he wasn't wearing from his case and handing it to you, “Here you can… listen with me, if you want to I mean.” You look at his case and realize he has one of the cheetos airpod cases and laugh before looking back at him and taking it, “Thank you, cute case.” 

He looks at it and shakes his head before shoving it in his bag, “Quinn got it for me.”

You put the airpod in and are immediately stunned, “Taylor swift?” He had been listening to all the girls you loved before and he suddenly looked down at his phone, “I can change it-” “No i was just shocked i like this song.” 

While you sat next to him you felt a sense of peace wash over you and you relaxed for what was probably the first time this whole week. You lean against him unconsciously and feel him stiffen before he relaxes. You realize his hand is still on yours and you lace your fingers with his as you close your eyes. No you weren't tired, you just wanted to bask in his presence for a moment with his heartbeat near your ear and his breath tickling your head. 

You liked him. It didn't hit you like an unexpected realization; it felt freeing to finally put what you were feeling into words. You smile to yourself and move closer to him.

It's been another week since then and you were struggling to decide if you were really going to confess at the end of the school year. You had decided since the school year is almost over and He would be going home for the summer and you wouldn't be able to see him so if you confessed and he rejected you it wouldn't be as awkward because he would leave and you two wouldnt see each other again until the new school year but the idea of him never talking to you again made you feel sick.

It was the last wednesday of the school year, the last day before your last study session with ethan which was also the last day before your econ test. There was a party, you didn't know who was throwing it but Tara practically begged you to come so here you were sitting on a couch next to anika as you two were chatting. “I told you that dress would look super cute on you.” “Thanks anika.” You looked around the room for the one person you were hoping to see, “Where's ethan?” Anika sits up and looks around before shrugging, “I have no clue.” 

You begin to worry as you frantically look and can't find him, “I'm gonna go look for him.” Anika nods as you get up and begin making your way through the party.

Your about to turn a corner before you freeze at the voice you hear, “Ask her out man.” Chad.  “No way i've told you this” Ethan. Who was he talking about? “C'mon man you're hot as hell just ask her out already.”

All you can hear is ethan sigh, “She doesn't-” “Oh shut up man just ask her out.” Who the hell are they talking about? Does Ethan like somebody? A pit forms in your stomach as all you can feel is dread. “Shes sitting over there man ask her out.” Now you feel sick, there's somebody Ethan likes, and it's not you. You back up and walk away. You head back to anika who has your bag and gives you an alarmed look at your upset face as you grab your bag from her side. “Is something wrong? What happened?” You shake your head as your eyes water, you attempt to say something but you can't. As she moves to stand up you rush out of the house. You can't be in there anymore, the amount of heartbreak you feel is miserable and you aren't even dating the guy.

You rush back to your dorm and lean against the door as you shut it. This is so embarrassing, here you are sitting and crying over him while he probably walked over to that person and asked them out. You managed to make it to your bed and flop on it, crying yourself to sleep.

–

“Have you guys seen y/n?'' Anika had come up to them frantically as Chad and Ethan remained talking against the wall. Chad had been begging Ethan to finally ask you out all night but Ethan kept on refusing. He couldn't risk what you two have especially since it meant so much to him. What had started out as a simple infatuation had turned into so much more, you meant so much to him and to lose you would be horrid.

“No? Is something wrong? Thought she was sitting with you.” Chad took a sip of his drink after he answered, “She went to go looking for e, then she came back and looked like she was about to cry then she ran out.” ethan felt sick, had some guy said something to you? “Like she ran out of the house? Shit.” Chad put down his drink and turned towards ethan, “You gotta go look for her man.” “Please e? Im really worried.” Ethan put down his drink and walked away before they could say anything else. “I'm gonna ask around.” “Me too.”

Shit. you weren't answering your phone, “please answer please” he was mumbling and shaking his phone as if that could make you answer. He decided to just fuck it and run to your dorm to see if you were there. He knew the route like the back of his hand and he was booking it full speed. He was worried about you and was praying you were alright. Once he got to your dorm he pounded at the door, he knew you had a solo room luckily since your roommate transferred out in the beginning of the second semester and no one came to fill it. He calls you names to no answer, after a couple of minutes he's defeated and texts you if you're still at the party when the door opens and he quickly looks up at you.

–

Who the hell is pounding at your door? You don't know how long you've been asleep, it couldn't have been that long since it was still dark out. Annoyed and not wanting to talk to anybody, you attempt to block out the noise until you hear his voice. Ethan.

He was here and calling for you. you sat up quickly and walked towards the door before you stopped hesitantly in front of the door. What did he want? You didn't want to answer, just ignore him and move on but he sounded worried so you opened him. His face was red and his eyes were watery, he was breathing heavily, looked like he was out of breath, did he run all the way here? Seeing you he let out a sigh of relief. ‘Ethan-” “Are you alright?” You look at him alarmed. “Yeah um did something happen?”

 It's awkward to look at or to talk to him but he can't seem to notice that right now, “Anika was worried she said you ran out looking upset.” Now you feel embarrassed, looking down at your feet, “Did somebody say something to you? Did something happen?-” You couldn't listen to him anymore, all you wanted to do is blurt it out but knowing it would ruin everything you can't, maybe you should just do it. You open your mouth but you quickly close it. You need to have him tutor you tomorrow. The day before the big test. You need him just for one more day. then you can set him free. “Im… im okay i promise, i'm sorry for worrying you, all of you.” You think over your next words carefully so as to not let the things you truly want to say split out. “I just was getting overwhelmed, parties are so loud you know?” You try to laugh but at the look on his face you stop and look down.

He walks closer and tries to grab your hands but you pull them away and try to smile at him, “Im really tired.” He now looks like he's about to cry, “Please be honest with me, did something happen? Is somebody bothering you?” Yes. “No, i promise.” What a liar. He looks like he wants to say more but if he really does he keeps his mouth shut and nods. 

“We still on for tomorrow?” You hate yourself for asking but you need to make sure you haven't ruined anything. He looks at you confused, “Of course?” You nod and move towards your door, “Do you need anything I'm here-” “No really, it's okay Goodnight.” You don't wait for his response as you shut the door, the tears at their breaking point as you lean your head against the door. Why can't this just be easier?

–

He stares at the place you were once standing with a sad look on his face. You were lying, he could tell that easily but about what? He stands there and contemplates over it, maybe something did happen or maybe it.. Was something he did? No that couldn't be right, you two were acting perfectly normal this morning. But why were you acting like that with him now? You were never that stiff, you shut him out. It was weird and he didn't like it at all, he felt the urge to knock on the door again and comfort you, bring you into his arms so you can talk all out but he knows that that's not what you must want so he leaves.

He lets Chad know he won't be showing back up to the party and that you're fine. He hopes that when he goes to bed this will all be just a bad dream and tomorrow when he arrives at your study session everything will be just fine.

—

It is not just fine. It started off simple. You didn't text him in the morning like you always did. You arrive five minutes late which is odd since you're always the one that arrives first, you give the excuse you slept in late. He doesn't believe you but keeps his mouth shut. Worst of all you didn't make him any cookies this time. It became a habit, after every session you would give him a container of cookies (and a side one specifically for chad since he liked them so much) as a thank you. The session is awkward and very to the point, when he tries to joke with you like usual you brush him off and ask him to move on to the next topic. He felt awful, he asked you if something was wrong but you just said it was nothing. You had even wrapped up the session early, it was barely hitting four when you called it. 

“Im just tired.” You pack up your things and give him a brief goodbye and rush to leave. He watches you go before he realizes he needs to do something, he cant let your relationship deteriorate like this. He runs after you and grabs your arm as you're standing outside. 

“Ethan-” “I like you.” You look frozen as you stare at him, “I'm sorry if I did something wrong but I just want to get back to the way we were and I need you to know this now. You can forget about it-” “Ethan”

You try to interrupt him like you always do but he stops you, “Please.” His expression softens, “I need to do this.” You hesitate before you nod, he takes both of your hands in his as if he's afraid you're going to run away. “You can forget all about this if you want to but just know i like you so much and i hate this strain between us, whatever it is. Please tell me what i've done wrong so i can fix it and we can move on and you can make me more of your cookies and you can crack dumb econ jokes about the topics we're talking about or you can complain about your shift at work with tara and how she can never restock properly. Please tell me what i did wrong.” hes begging you, squeezing your hands so tightly, as he locks eyes with you, all you can feel is sincerity and love.

“Then who was the girl?” You ask as your voice wavers, he looks at you shocked, “What girl?” Your eyes water too, “I overheard you at the party.” He tilts his head confused, “What?” “At the party, when Chad was encouraging you to go ask the girl out.” He relaxes and gulps. “I was going to come find you, then I heard you and I just felt like shit because I was..” You trail off as he looks at you expectantly, “I was going to tell you that I like you.” His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock, “Not that day of course tomorrow after the econ test.” “I was talking about you.” You shake your head, “Chad said she was sitting right there. I was sitting there.” He shakes his head, “no no no no no we couldn't see the couch from where we were standing so he was just pointing in the direction of the couch i swear i had thought you were there. I was talking about you. I only have eyes for you, for as long as I've known you it's always been you.”

You can only look at him in shock at the sincerity of his words and you move closer to him. You rip your hands from his and he has a really apologetic look on his face, as he's about to apologize you pull his face to meet yours and you kiss. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as you feel love and relief as he kisses you back. He grabs your face and pulls you closer if that's even possible. You pull apart, breathing heavy as you two stare lovingly at each other with a smile. “I'm sorry ethan.” He shakes his head and gives you another kiss before answering. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 

You smile at him, “soo…?” You're looking at him expectantly as he looks confused, “So?’ you scoff and shove him, “You're really bad at this.” Now he looks really confused, “Ugh. Ethan, will you be my boyfriend?” Now his eyes widen as he opens and closes his mouth like a fish. You laugh as you look at his red face. After a minute he manages to calm down, “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend.” You two smile at kisses. You finally feel like you can breathe, this was perfect.

–

The next day you're in a large room writing in the last answer to the econ test. Ethan had finished earlier than you, that morning he promised to wait for you outside so once you hand it your test you rush out to see him and the rest of your friends. You see him and he turns to you and smiles as you make it to him he picks you up and twirls you around as you laugh. “So??? How did you do?!” Anika asks you with a big smile on her face. You keep your eyes locked on Ethan and his grinning face. “I think I did great, all thanks to my wonderful tutor.” 

He shakes his head, “No, it was all you, beautiful.” You two kiss. 

--

a/n: I hope you guys like this !!

tags: @bajadotcom

[talaok]

Daddy's tired

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

summary: Daddy's tired so he lets you take what you need from him yourself

warnings: daddy kink, (extreme overuse of daddy), kind of innocent reader, smut| oral sex (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, 

“You’re home,” you said, surprised, taking him in as he slipped his boots off and sat on the bed.

“Just got back” he sighed, laying down 

You bit down a smile. God, you needed him.

“I missed you,” you said wasting no time before walking to him and landing a kiss on his mouth.

“Missed you too, bunny” he stroked your cheek as you kneeled next to him on the bed so you could stay close to him.

“I missed you a lot…”

He smirked at that, he knew that tone.

“Yeah?” He teased

“Mh-mh” you nodded eagerly.

“You kept your promise?”

You bit your lip “I didn’t touch myself Daddy” you promised “It was really hard, but I didn’t”

“I’m sure it was, sugar, but you did real good” he praised you before kissing you.

“Tell me why”

You whimpered, stroking his rough beard “Because only you get to make me feel good”

“Why?”

“Because I’m yours”

He chuckled “What’s mine bunny?”

Your cheeks flushed red

“Don’t be shy now tell daddy what’s his”

“My-my pussy is yours”

“That’s my good girl” He smirked proudly “give daddy a kiss”

You complied immediately, moving your lips on his hungrily.

“Can I… can I have my reward now?”

“My pretty girl wants her reward?” He cooed

“Yes please,”

“Please…?” 

“Please, daddy” you corrected yourself

“See bunny, the thing is that daddy’s tired today” he murmured “I’ve had a long day,” he said, making you pout, you couldn’t resist anymore “No, don’t worry sweetheart, you can take what you need from me yourself”

Your eyes sparkled “Really?”

“Yeah baby”

“Thank you so much, daddy!” You smiled wide, stealing another quick kiss.

You wasted no time crawling between his legs and making quick work of his pants.

He helped you take his boxers off by raising his hips, and in just a few moments you were in front of what now just translated into endless possibilities.

You took his cock in your hands, eagerly sucking his tip.

He adjusted himself by putting his hands behind his head, and you took it as an incentive to keep going.

You let your tongue taste his whole length and felt him harden at the touch.

You looked up at him as you finally took him in your mouth, trying to fit as much as you could.

"that's it" he breathed, "that's my pretty girl with her talented mouth"

His cock was fully hard now, and as much as you tried fully fitting him in your mouth, it was impossible.

"look at me," he said, and you obeyed "fuck- you're amazing bunny".

Your panties were soaked, and you'd been waiting for a week, so you pulled off of him and took your clothes off just to get on top of him.

"god you're pretty, sweetheart" Joel groaned, his hands roaming your body.

"you too" you giggled

"oh yeah, I'm pretty?"

"very" you giggles, before kissing him "Very pretty" you teased, as your hips moved against him, finding his cock.

You let out a whimper and raised yourself to position him at your entrance, but he stopped you.

"I want to taste you" he spoke

"I thought you were tired" You cocked an eyebrow

"I am" he smirked, and you understood.

You brought one finger to your folds and then slowly back up to his mouth.

"So sweet" he smiled.

He placed his hands on your waist and you finally sank down onto him.

A loud whine fled your throat at the feeling.

"God, I missed you so much, daddy" you breathed, throwing your head back in ecstasy as you eagerly started moving up and down. 

"I missed you too" he promised, watching you as if you were a work of art.

"don't ever do that again" you begged, leaning down to ghost his lips but not slowing your pace "Never leave again, daddy, please"

He looked at you, his big brown eyes boring into yours.

"ok" he nodded

"promise?" you spoke, your breathing ragged.

"I promise bunny" He kissed you "I'll never leave you again"

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

A promise kept

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 8

Prompt: Idiots to lovers

Rated: G

Tags: Childhood friends to lovers; Mistaken identity; Fluff; Modern AU if you squint

CW: none

Notes: @house-of-the-moving-image and I came up with this while bouncing ideas for another drabble and fell instantly in love with the idea. Be sure to also check out the precious art they made!!!

The bars of the jungle gym creak but Steve doesn’t lift his face from his hunched knees.

“Hey, big boy, don't cry.” 

“‘m not crying. Go away!”

This is ridiculous. He's almost eight, and eight-year-old boys don't cry. Not even if their only friend in the whole world just told them they're moving away to live with their uncle. 

They don't even know each other’s names. Names don't matter when you're eight and you're both at the park and looking for someone to play with. 

So Steve is big boy. 

And his friend … well, Steve mostly calls him his dragon.

It's because of this game they have. Steve is a king and the other boy his dragon and the jungle gym their castle, and every day, they have a new adventure. 

Except now, there won't be any more adventures.

“Oh? But how am I supposed to give you this?” 

Steve lifts his head, goes a bit cross-eyed at the flower that's hovering right in front of his face. 

“What would I want with that?” he snaps. “Flowers are for girls.” 

His dragon chuckles as he joins him on his perch. The playground stretches out under them. Their kingdom. 

“But this isn't just any flower. It's magical.” 

Steve wrinkles his nose. “Magical?” 

“Yup!” His friend's face breaks into a grin, two teeth short. “As long as you keep it, I'll always make my way back to you. It may take a while, but I'll find you eventually.” 

“Promise?” Steve murmurs. There's a lump in his throat and it comes out small and quiet.

“I promise.” The other boy winks and tugs the flower behind his ear. “That I'll find you, and that I'll always be your dragon. And now, my king … how about one final adventure?” 

*

The colors of the jungle gym are faded with age. Like the pressed flower in its frame on his bedroom wall. 

“Oh hey, Steve!” 

Steve looks up from the book in his lap to find a familiar someone next to their picnic blanket.

“Eddie, hi!” He smiles, even as his stomach drops. “I … what are you doing here?” 

“Steve?” Will asks, ogling Eddie's tattoos and wild hair with large eyes. “Who's this?” 

“Oh, erm …” Steve runs an awkward hand through his hair. “My friend Eddie. He just moved here. Eddie, this is Will and El, the kids I babysit?” 

“Of course,” Eddie dips into a bow, which makes the twins giggle. “Steve has told me all about you.” 

“Do you want to sit with us?” El asks. “Steve is reading the How to train your dragon books to us.” 

“Fuck yeah, I love dragons!” Eddie cheers. Only he doesn’t sit on the blanket like a normal person - he perches himself on the steps of the jungle gym and hisses, pulling a silly face and mimicking claws with his hands. El whoops and claps while Will smiles shyly. Steve needs to swallow against the memories that threaten to crawl up his throat. 

*

“Was it alright to invite Eddie?” El asks. They've finished reading for the day and she helped Steve get snow cones. “You said he's your friend, but you seem sad when you look at him.”

Steve sighs.

“It's okay,” he says, because how do you explain this to a seven-year-old? 

How do you explain I only met him a few weeks ago but I really like him and it confuses me because it seems like I've known him forever because he reminds me so much of someone I used to know and I'm scared because it feels like I'm betraying that person even though I'm sure they've long forgotten about me?

Will is up on the jungle gym when they round the corner, beaming from ear to ear and talking animatedly with Eddie, who is gesturing up at him from the ground. 

“El!” he calls out when he spots his sister. She smiles and clambers up to join him, handing over one of the dripping snow cones. “Eddie has the best ideas. He just told me about this game he used to play as a kid. Did you know the jungle gym could be a castle and we could be kings and dragons? What do you want to be? We could-” 

“Steve?” 

Someone touches his shoulder and he flinches back into his own body. Eddie’s voice is full of concern, and okay, that's probably because he just dropped their snow cones. They're forming rainbow-colored puddles in the grass. 

“Stevie, c'mon, talk to me! You're freaking me out here!”

He snaps his head up. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” Eddie smiles. His eyes are large with worry. Large and brown and crinkling at the corners and so familiar and Steve's an idiot. “You just zoned out there, I thought-” 

“It's you,” Steve mutters. His hands are shaking and his eyes are stinging and then the next thing he knows is that his arms are around Eddie’s neck and he's sobbing into his shoulder. “Holy fuck, it's really you! You're my dragon!” 

“Wait, what?” Eddie pulls back, smile wide and incredulous. His fingers wipe away Steve’s tears, trace the shape of his cheekbones and jaw. “You're- Shit, really? I knew you looked familiar, but I thought there was no way-” 

“I was feeling so bad!” Steve blurts, chest heaving with what might be sobs or laughter, and who cares really, when he found his dragon again? “I was so scared to fall for you because-” 

“Oh?” Eddie’s grin isn't missing any teeth, but it's still just as brilliant. “Are you now?” 

“Huh?” 

Eddie chuckles. “Falling for me?” 

Steve feels himself flush, even as he gives a shaky nod. Eddie’s eyes are soft as he pulls him in. 

“It's okay, big boy. You don't have to be afraid of anything while I'm around.”

“This is really weird,” El whispers from somewhere above them as their lips meet. “I don't think they understand how being friends works.”

All my holiday drabbles

[allyheart707]

Are you still taking art prompts?

I had an idea! It would be fun to see a little crossover between your fic and your comic!

Ex: Due to some cosmic glitch, Leo connects with LS Donnie instead of EDHPMW (tricky acronym lol) Donnie. Confusion ensues.

Leo: Where's Donnie..?

LS Donnie: I'll do you one better, WHO is Donnie?

Anyway, no pressure. Love to see your updates!

- Later, in a different universe -

Donatello. It was a name that felt as if it had been stuck on the tip of his tongue the second Carol had brought up naming them. He wasn’t sure why it felt so right, or where the warm feeling came from- like a dream long forgotten, but it was the perfect name. Raph, the snapping turtle, had insisted that he was their brother and this name was the second piece of evidence that pointed towards that possibility. The first one, of course, was him being a mutant turtle. 

He still wasn’t sure he could trust the two strangers- especially the other one… Heishi. He had been nothing but a menace since he arrived. It seemed he was trying to get them in trouble. Currently, the slider was desperately trying to convince his brother- Michelangelo- to further break their bed. 

“If we pull this part off here I bet I could use it to make a weapon! Now that would be a distraction!” He pushed Mikey, who looked to his brother for the answers. 

Donnie shook his head- that would almost certainly get them in way more trouble than it was worth. Plus, they just wanted to go outside, not to hurt anyone. Mikey frowned, but turned back to Heishi and shook his head.

“Nu-uh, mm sorry, but they would get really mad if we broke our bed.” Mikey answered, making Heishi groan.

“Hmmm, welllll… what if I promise to show you all my cool warrior moves?” Donnie knew exactly how this would turn out, and groaned as his brother let out an excited squeal.

“REALLY?” He gasped, and Heishi gave him a big grin.

It did not take much to break his little brother, who thought on the new deal for only a second before giving in and nodding.

“Okay! But only if you do it on my bro’s bed- er… Dee’s bed! He likes his bed cuz the cameras can’t see it!” He whispered the last part as he pointed to the bottom bunk where Donatello currently sat, staring at the both of them in disappointment.

“You're going to get us all in trouble, you know.” He offered, but Heishi was already yanking on the middle rung to their bunk, attempting to pull it from the bed.

“Yeah! An’ what if they put those handcuffs on you again?! Or worse?” Raph added, making Donnie nod- at least someone had some sense.

Of course, his brother and Heishi were not listening- both now on his bed, pulling against the rung until there was a resounding C R A C K and they both tumbled backwards- the wooden rung now in their hands. Ugh.

“AH-HA! Now this is a plan!” Heishi shouted triumphantly, holding up the splintered remains of their bunk as if it was something spectacular.

Donnie turned and flopped against his pillow- refusing to see the end of this. ‘Will they fix our bunk?’ He wasn’t sure. When the light broke a few weeks ago- they fixed that but… him and his brother have never broken anything on purpose before. ‘They took away our books… would they take away their papers next? Or their bunk? That is what they broke so what if-’ Donnie shook his head, burrowing it further into his pillow- 

‘no, Carol wouldn’t let them take their bunk. Plus, how would they fit it through the door? It wouldn’t fit!’

‘... wait… how did it get into the room? … was it always here?’ Donnie lost himself to his thoughts as he watched the large snapping turtle pace back and forth at the door and attempted to ignore the delighted chattering between his brother and Heishi.

“Master Draxum says I'm too ‘small and weak’ for big weapons… but he does let me use a wooden sword sometimes! I’m really good with it too!” His words were followed by whooshing sounds and Donnie's bed bobbing up and down with each thrust of Heishi’s “sword”- making Mikey gasp in excitement. Even Raph seemed to be a little impressed, stopping his pacing to watch, big eyes wide in a mixture of nervousness and awe. That only fueled the fire in Heishi. Ughhhh. Curiosity got the best of Donnie and he finally decided to turn his head to watch the ‘greatest warrior’ swing his ‘sword’ around.

He couldn’t stand on the bed without hitting his head, so instead he was moving around on his knees- despite that rather awkward position, he was keeping himself upright which was already a little impressive. He moved with surprising speed, twisting his arms and slashing the sword about as if fighting some imaginary enemy. Every time Donnie thought he would hit the wall or one of the bedposts he would pull away just in time and begin another set of random exercises. 

It was… a little … cool.

Then, as Donnie tried his best to cool his expressions and Heishi swung upwards for what looked like a finishing blow, that the sword exploded in blue light. Heishi screamed, throwing the sword and hitting his shell against the wall as they all stared wide eyed at the bright blue that danced over the sharp wooden stick.

-Meanwhile-

-To Be Continued- (??? If people are interested.)

I thought it would be fun that, for the crossover, they switched media! My comic being written, and my fic being in comic format! :DD

I was so nervous to post this and kinda went blind re-reading it over and over again soooo there are probably grammar/spelling errors I missed. Sorry about that- I might go through and edit them later?

[andromeda-nova-writing]

Unpacking in the Infirmary

Fem!Reader

Summary: Restock day in the Infirmary has always been important for those who live in the Fortress. Especially with it being that place to go if something were to happen to an inmate or one of the staff members. With the amount of times Wriothesley has gotten hurt over the years, it's not surprising he ended up in there on one of those restock days. Though he didn't think he would also help with unpacking things as well.

Words: 3,038

AN: Once again I wrote a majority of this on my phone. I honestly can't believe how much I've written on my phone this year already. Hopefully, this doesn't become a major habit. Thank you @milkstore for reading over the fic. You caught so many mistakes due to my phone thinking capitalizing mid-sentence is a normal thing to do.

Warnings: Blood, Minor Injuries, Cleaning a wound. I personally wouldn't consider it too detailed but if you find any of that uncomfortable please go check out one of my other Wriothesley fics.

“You two should go take your lunch break already. I ate a late breakfast.” Y/N lifted a box of supplies from the surface and placed it on the table. Restock days had become important for her to be there for. It was easier to have someone who was not a Melusine to do any heavy lifting.

“You look tired. Are you sure you don't want to take a break now?” Sigewinne asked. Although her ask was more of telling her to take a break.

“I'll take a break when you or Ottnit get back. I promise.” She reassured Sigewinne. “Plus if we time breaks right we can get this done fast.”

Ottnit looked at Y/N before looking at Sigewinne. “She has a date.” She guessed.

Y/N rolled her eyes hiding a small smile. “Three days from now.” She answered before giving the real reason. “I promised I'd help my mother move her art studio into her new house after work.”

“It's more reason to take a break. You could have requested someone to take your place today.” Sigewinne reasoned.

“I know but I wouldn't have been able to give you those stickers for another week. It's been pretty peaceful down here lately. Let me have work as an excuse to see you two.” Y/N looked back to the box and grabbed a boxcutter to rid it of tape. “Just go enjoy lunch. You're just delaying how long till I take a break.”

Sigewinne accepted fate not wanting to argue it creating more of the delay. She and Ottnit left the infirmary for lunch. The room was left quiet while Y/N took inventory on the restock.

All the things that needed to be under a lock had been put away already. Next would be anything they kept out in the infirmary that should be easy to grab. Lastly, restocking the various first aid kits that were around the Fortress. Any mobile ones had been brought in already in the morning. The large stationary ones would be the last thing for today or one of the first things in the morning.

It was mindless work to her at this point. Open the box, check the inventory slip in the box, count to see if the amount matches, and mark off on the checkbox of what was requested if it matches. And if it didn’t, make a note. It was always easy to fall into the rhythm of this work.

Though a bit annoying that the monthly restock day had to line up with her mother's art studio move. There really wasn’t much she could do about it since she wanted to be there for both. Say she did request someone else to go down to the fortress instead of her. Y/N could imagine her coworkers on the surface asking if something was wrong with her and Wriothesley’s relationship. And as funny as it was to watch some of the older ladies try and make threats about if he dared hurt her, there really was no reason to rile them up with nothing.

Y/N finished up the box she had been working with. It was just bandages of different sizes. Luckily everything was all in there. She picked the box back up off the table and placed it within the pile of boxes that had already been checked. She picked up a new box, beginning to repeat the process all over again.

She lost count on the box filled with sterilized gloves when she heard the all-so-familiar knock at the wall. It was a firm but gentle knock that echoed throughout the infirmary.

“Hey.” Wriothesley introduced himself as he made his way down into the room. “By any chance is the hydrogen peroxide already out?”

“The current bottle doesn't have a lot in it but it is out. What happened?” Y/N turned away from the box and moved to get out what he asked for along with some cotton balls and bandages, opting for what was already out in the infirmary.

“There was a fight that broke out and I went to break it up. One guy was upset I was breaking up the fight, so he tried taking a knife out on me. I broke a knife. Now the guards got an eye on the two of them.” Wriothesley explained. He was peeling off the blood-soaked wraps that were around his right hand.

Y/N blinked. “You can't say you broke a knife so casually.” It was moments like that where she knew she still wasn't fully used to his behavior. It didn't matter how long she had known him before they began dating, it wasn't normal to hear anyone say they broke a knife in a fight. She moved into washing her hands.

“No, ‘Are you okay’?” He threw the wraps away in a bin that was meant for Anything that came in contact with any sort of bodily fluids. Also known as the bloody cotton and bandages bin to most of the Fortress. All because they were however many miles under the ocean didn't mean they got to skip important procedures to help keep things safe.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Oh, I'm sorry.” She spoke sarcastically as she dried off her hands. “Your Grace, does your wound cause you great pain? Whatever will I do now that you are gravely injured?”

“Gravely! Shit. It's just some cuts on my palm. Where did you get ‘gravely’ from? It won't kill me.”

“Oh, so you can handle it yourself.” She teased as she pulled gloves on getting ready so she could examine the wound.

“Some nurse you are. I thought going to the infirmary was supposed to be welcoming.”

“That's what you get for asking a pharmacist to be a nurse. I'm nowhere near as welcoming.” She joked. “Go sit on the bed.” She moved fast grabbing a clean pair of tweezers.

“Already sitting down Miss.” He spoke in a smug tone she was all too familiar with.

“If you can recognize that you should already be sitting down I would hope you should recognize that you should be more careful.” She turned around and moved towards Wriothesley. Y/N grabbed his wounded hand. She began picking out any small shards of the knife that had gotten stuck within. Luckily not too many. None were deep within the palm as well.

“I can only try to be more careful so much. If you think about it, I helped you not have to deal with an inmate who had a stab wound on restock day. While everyone but you is out for lunch.” Wriothesley reasoned. He looked at the wound already wondering if the count of scars on his body was about to go up.

“I'll give you that.” Y/N finished up with the first part of cleaning up the wound. She had thrown any remnants of the knife in the trash. “You know you are very lucky that Sigewinne wasn’t here to fuss over you. If I had to listen to her ‘I helped raise you, the least you could do is be careful’ lectures while trying to count and move things around, I might go insane.” Wriothesley rolled his eyes as he laughed. “Yeah.” He drew out the word with a bit of tiredness. “I guess I should thank you for not telling her.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow as she began to dab the hydrogen peroxide onto some cotton balls. “I never said I wasn't going to tell her. If I remember right, which I know I'm remembering right, I still have to write this up in your medical file. No exception for staff. Even if you are the Warden, she’s going to find out regardless.”

“Shit.” It was half a response from the hydrogen peroxide touching the new wound and half from what Y/N had said. He thought he was more used to the sting of his wounds being cleaned by now. “Can’t you just let this slide?”

“You created more work for me on restock day and think I’m gonna let this slide. After I’m done with this I get to go move a whole art studio.”

“Don’t I get special privileges?”

“Everyone with a title is gonna get the same treatment from me. You forget that?” The blood had been cleaned off his hand. And with the wound clean she could begin focusing on wrapping up the wound on his palm.

“I was going for boyfriend privileges.” Wriothesley continued to try and wiggle his way out of Sigewinne learning what happened.

“I am on the clock and not on break so no special treatment. You lost special treatment the moment you walked into the infirmary. If it's serious enough to seek medical care, it's serious enough to be written in your medical file.” 

“Usually I'm very glad that you take your job seriously.”

“Cause it's my job and it would be inappropriate to change procedures just because the patient is you.” Y/N finished wrapping up his palm leaving him plenty of room to move his hand around but keeping the bandages tight enough to stay on throughout the day. “Change the bandages 3 hours from now. You can either do it yourself or have Sigewinne do it for you.”

Wriothesley moved his fingers around testing how much movement he would have. “Thanks, doll. You sure I can't get you to change it instead?”

“I just said I have to go move an art studio later.” She began putting away anything unused that was okay to keep before throwing everything else out. “Or were you not paying attention to what I was saying?”

“I was. You know I could go and help you if you want.” Wriothesley offered. 

Y/N looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Art Studio. As in my mother's art studio.”

“Yeah. You managed to get a photo out of me and you've been saying that your mother wants to meet me. Every time you’ve tried to set up, something has always come up and if I go with you, then you won’t have to worry if I’m using my right hand or not.” He reasoned. It may have also been a bit of quick thinking to avoid disappointing Sigewinne over that he got hurt again. Two birds with one stone kind of thinking.

“But I was thinking like a dinner so we could all get to talk.” She threw out her gloves before moving to sit on the bed on Wriothesley’s left side. “How are we supposed to talk if we are just packing and moving boxes Ri?”

“I’ll just have to take you two out to eat after.” He offered. “I’m already going to be tired after this and I’m just going to be exhausted after helping her move. I’m not going to want to sit down somewhere for dinner.” Y/N argued.

“I could help, go pick up some food for everyone so you don’t have to sit at a restaurant.” He put his arm around Y/N pulling her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Plus it’s my non-dominant hand that’s hurt so I can still help you.” 

“What if I’m so tired I don’t even want to talk while we eat?”

“I’ll just carry you to your apartment afterward if you are so tired. Quit worrying your pretty little head over it. You need the brain power for more important things.”

It was a well-needed reminder for her. Sometimes it was just too easy to get caught up in worry. “You must really like me a lot if you are willing to carry me like a sack of potatoes.”

Wriothesley laughed. “I was thinking more like a piggyback ride but if you want to be carried like a sack of potatoes, I can. We really should talk about how you not so secretly want me to manhandle you.” He teased.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I have work.” 

“I’ll get you after your shift then. We can go up together.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips before standing up from the bed. “You can't go on about how much you want your mother to like me and when the perfect opportunity for a good impression comes up, try and stop me from meeting her.”

“But what if it ends up not being perfect?” She looked up at him. “I really care about you. I want my mother to like you. I want my family to like you.”

“Which is why I’m offering to help with a move. Even then if you keep planning for perfection, nothing will get done. You know that.”

“I know not everything can be perfect. I’ve made my peace with that. But I want this to be perfect.” She stood up looking at him. “I want something good for you outside of here as well.” 

“Don’t worry about things like that. Life is good for me now.” He sighed. “It’s not like anything is forcing me to be here all the time. I know there’s good outside. What's bothering you?”

She sighed. “You remember when I said I was volunteering as the person to come down here to help was just to try something new right?” Y/N started as she began to give the real reason.

“Yeah. It's kind of what we encourage here.”

“Well, I got out of a really bad breakup. And my family was just telling me that person wasn't good.”

“You never told me how bad.” He did remember a mention that she got out of a relationship around two and a half years ago when they first met. She never said much about it and who was he to press her about it back then? 

“I was engaged. I almost signed a lease on a new house with them when everything went down. I just feel like I got blindsided by the show they were putting on. If I listened to my family then everything would have been better for me.” She took a deep breath. “So if they like you, nothing like that will happen to me again.”

“And here I was thinking you were just worrying to worry.” Wriothesley shook his head at himself. “Look, I can't control how people are going to view me. And you can't control if your mother will like me or not.”

“I know that. I just want this to be good. I mean I wanted her to like you even before we started dating. You kind of started to become important in my life.” Y/N looked away from him. “Like I think even after I got that breakup, you were definitely part of the reason I stayed.”

“It's going to be okay. It may not be some storybook picture of perfection but it's going to be better if you try and focus on the good.” He placed his left on her shoulder trying to ground her back to reality. “What did you say a few weeks ago? I think you said she would steal a single mora to get thrown in here if she didn't get the chance to meet me at this rate.”

Y/N laughed. “Yeah. I had to tell her that's a horrible idea.”

“It's going to be okay.”

She nodded as she spoke. “Okay.” She looked into his eyes falling into the comforting gaze that looked back at her.

“I'll get you after your shift. I still have to fill out paperwork cause of that fight.” Wriothesley kissed her forehead. “I know it's easier said than done, but try not to overthink it.”

“And if I do?”

“Then we will have to find a way to stop you from thinking about that specifically.”

“It better not be by giving me work. Cause I'm going to be so tired tonight.” She looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not cruel. I was thinking of making sure you aren’t alone so you don't fall back into your worries. At least so someone can pull you back out if you do.”

“Well, Sigewinne and Ottnit should be back soon. So I won’t be alone for too long.”

“You ate lunch already?” Wriothesley asked.

Y/N looked away again. “I ate a late breakfast so I was going to eat lunch once they got back.”

“In here?” He asked concerned. “What happened to only eating in here when there is only one person available?”

“I was actually going to go out to the cafeteria. I didn't bring anything down for lunch today.” It was a break from her normal habit, mostly because she forgot to grab her lunch before leaving her apartment in the city. The sandwich that she made that now sat in her kitchen would be dearly missed.

Wriothesley sighed. “Guess I'll have to take the important job of keeping you company during lunch.” 

“Don't you also have work?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“For one, I’m in charge of this place. And two, I still have to eat lunch myself. Also, I think the Fortress can handle itself while I take care of you. I think people know well enough to only disturb me when I'm with you if it's important.” It was something that he noticed was happening long before the two of them got together. It was already common for people would keep their distance due to their various reasons. It must have been learned to give the two space after people had noticed that Wriothesley’s mood would sour when he had to leave for something that didn’t even require his attention.

“Makes me wonder what your definition of important is now.”

“At the moment, it's keeping you out of your worry spiral. Generally a mix of other things, but the only thing taking me away from you is if something requires my attention to be handled. You are at the top of the list at the moment.” Oh, she just wanted to be in his arms after that. 

“The top of the list?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Are these girlfriend privileges?”

Wriothesley laughed remembering what he said not so long ago. “You can call it that if you want. I would have done this for you regardless though.”

Y/N gave in, finally hugging him. Maybe things would be okay.

[throneofsapphics]

poly!ruhnlidia headcannons (sort of?)

warnings: mild violence, drinking, light sexual content, oral (f!receiving), minors dni!

a/n: I tried to keep this spoiler free for hofas, but read at your own risk! I have so many more ideas, please let me know if you'd like to see a part two!

going on a date

They’d never been on a picnic before, and you decided it was an absolute travesty, a crime, really.

Picking the park closest to your apartment, you filled a wooden basket with everything you could think of. 

Ruhn, of course, was delegated to carrying the snacks. Lidia’s fingers intertwined with your own, her hand warm and steady. You’d chosen to leave before dawn, although they protested getting out of bed, you wanted to avoid as many crowds as possible. 

Finding the area you'd scoped out earlier in the week, half hidden by a few trees, you spread the blanket, placing the basket in the center.

You held a grape between two fingers, glancing at Ruhn sitting opposite you.

"Catch," you grinned, giving him a few moments to process before tossing it in the air, slightly off to the left. His hand darted out, palm closing around - somehow not crushing it. "With your mouth," you clarified.

Lidia observed for a few moments, watching the two of you throw them further and further away from each other, diving across the blanket, knocking over random things. Eventually, she decided to join it. Turns out, she was very good at it - better than the two of you, and held it over your heads. 

“Do you want a trophy?” his tone had a bitter edge, but his mouth curved into a smirk. His fae senses weren’t quick enough to keep the next grape from hitting his temple, courtesy of Lidia.  

As the sun crossed the horizon, Lidia leant back against Ruhn’s chest, your head propped on her lap, her fingers running through your hair, nails putting the perfect amount of pressure into your scalp. 

moving in together

The three of you took things slow, the decision to move in together taking several months. But, once you did, they encouraged you to customize the space, to add your own touch to it. 

You looked at the wall adjacent to the window, still bare - no art or decorations. 

“What are you thinking?” Lidia’s arms wrapped around your waist, her chin propped on your shoulder. You covered her hands with your own., 

“We could add a painting up there,” you murmured, hesitantly, judging her reaction.  

She gave you a light squeeze, “I love that idea.” 

The next day, Lidia came home with an assortment of paints and brushes. You glanced between them and her, eyes wide. “Worst case,” she shrugged, “we cover it up.” 

ruhn taking you to get your first tattoo

“You’re certain about this?” He asked, for the thousandth time. 

“Yes,” you groaned, squeezing his hand. Somehow, he thought he was a bad influence. It made no sense to you - you’d wanted a tattoo for ages. 

‘Calm down,’ you cast out to him. The artist looked a bit on edge, given Ruhn was bristling next to you with each dig of the needle, each slight wince of pain on your face. You watched him force his shoulders to relax. 

“Why don’t you get some food for us?” You said, aloud this time. It wasn’t really a suggestion. His brows flicked up, but he left, with a warning look at the artist. Your eyes rolled. 

‘I saw that,’ his voice flooded your mind.  

‘Good.’ 

A low chuckle came through, hinting at a promise of something else later that night. 

later that night 

Arms wrapped around your legs, warm hands spreading them open.

“Tell me what you want,” he kissed the inside of your thigh. 

You squirmed, ignoring his teasing laugh. “You know,” you breathed. 

“Tell me,” his eyes met yours, a hint of that damn Fae dominance that always sent shivers down your spine. 

“You," your hands tightened around the sheets. "Gods, Ruhn. I want you.” 

“And how do you want me?” 

“Put her out of her misery,” Lidia drawled, “or I'll do it.” 

Ruhn took the challenge, his tongue running slow, painfully slow, strokes, driving you to the point of madness - nearly to the point of begging. You felt the pressure, then two fingers inside of you, curling up to hit that spot, just as his lip ring ran over your clit. 

Fingers threading through his hair, you screamed loud enough the neighbors could probably hear. 

an hour later 

“Official Aux business,” Flynn grinned, eyes darting between the three of you. Lidia leaned against the counter, looking thoroughly unimpressed. 

However, your face turned red - already having an idea of what it was. 

“What is it?” Ruhn grunted. 

“We got a call,” Flynn sounded too pleased by this, “sounded like a female screaming. They called for a welfare check.” 

Ruhn's hands pushed against his chest, shoving him out the door and slamming it in his face. Footsteps and laughter trailed down the hall. He picked up his phone, dialing a familiar number. 

A too-cheery female voice answered, “yes?” 

“Next time, I’m calling the 33rd on you,” he snarled. A beep and he disconnected. 

getting into a fight 

You were pissed. Beyond belief. 

This male wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, and you knew your temper would start getting the best of you soon. A journalist, probably, given he couldn't stop badgering you with questions about Ruhn and Lidia.

They weren’t exactly overprotective or domineering assholes, they’d taught you how to defend yourself (more than you already knew) and respected that you could handle most situations on your own.

“Leave. Me. Alone,” you snarled, shoving the male's chest. He, rather dramatically, flew back a few steps. Maybe you’d put a bit more force than necessary into it. 

“She hit me,” he yelled, attracting a few glances from people nearby. The bartender looked at him, then you, and rolled his eyes. You shot a tight smile back. His mouth parted, a look of alarm on his face, but the alcohol dulled your senses enough you didn’t see the punch coming in time.

The situation was taken care of rather quickly, the male thrown out of the White Raven none too gently, and you were led upstairs by another one of the bouncers, your friends trailing behind. You shot them an apologetic look when the rope snapped in place, keeping them downstairs.

‘I’m fine,’ you mouthed. 

You slumped into a seat, a different bartender, someone you knew from school, sliding two fingers of whiskey in front of you. 

“I give it five minutes,” he joked. 

“Four,” the female working the other end called. 

You grasped the cold glass, tilting your chin to let the cool liquid burn down your throat, leaving a comfortable warmth in your chest. 

“I’d say three,” you finally added, glancing at the clock. 

Sure enough, about three minutes and seven seconds later, thundering footsteps came up the stairs, preceding both Ruhn and Lidia. 

Riso had probably called both of them before the conflict even occurred, he always had a sixth sense for trouble. 

Lidia’s hands gripped your cheeks gently, turning you to face her. You felt the purple bruise blooming on your temple. “Let’s go,” she murmured, her hand gripping your arm gently, tugging you to your feet. You swayed slightly, gripping the counter for balance. 

“Lidia please,” you pleaded, but her arm wrapped gripped behind your thighs, effortlessly throwing you over her shoulder. 

At least you took the back exit out, Ruhn’s shadows obscuring your group, saving you from some public embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” She asked, after you'd made the few blocks trip home, sitting you down on the couch. Ruhn already had an ice pack wrapped in a towel, holding it up to the side of your face. 

“Fine,” you muttered, avoiding her gaze.

“What happened?” She pushed gently, one hand resting on your thigh. Ruhn moved with you as you threw yourself back, flinging your arms over the back of the couch, and snorted. He responded to Lidia’s glare, indicating she did not find this funny at all, with a shrug. Her lips pressed in a tightline, but she turned her attention back to you. "Tell me," her voice was soft, sweet. A tone she usually only used with you or Ruhn, and one that worked on you every time.

“He wouldn’t stop asking questions about both of you. A journalist probably.” 

On instinct, you switched your gaze to Ruhn, spotting the brief flash of guilt. 

“Don’t start,” you pushed one finger into his chest. He wrapped his own finger around it, tugging your hand to rest in his. “I knew this would happen," you insisted. It was true, as soon as your relationship went public, everyone had questions, and too many people felt entitled to answers. 

He pressed a kiss to your knuckles instead, his other hand still holding the ice pack steady. 

“I won’t. Who was it?” 

“It’s been taken care of,” you said quickly. Sure, he’d annoyed you, but you didn’t want him to bare the results of two overprotective vanir. “He looks worse,” you added. 

“Oh I’m sure,” Lidia caught your attention, a look of approval on her beautiful face.

[small-sinclair]

Clingy brahms with separation anxiety having a breakdown after reader went out for groceries (malcolm isnt here) and reader coming back to him laying infront of the door asleep with ouffy eyes and then they take him to the bedroom and cuddle with him and he wakes up shaken up and they(reader) comfort him?🥹

Its can be any pronouns ;w;

Alone

Okay, this is my first time writing for him, so let me know how I did!

Gotta love me a clingy Brahms... but what if this is the reader's first time meeting him? What if the reader never knew who he was until they leave?

Brahms Heelshire x gen!reader

You hated to leave the house this time of year. It's cold, wet, rainy, windy, and gross out there, but you have to get a few things. Malcolm wasn't coming to the house until the end of the week, and to add insult to injury, he's come down with the flu. So, why should you risk going out while he got the flu? In this weather?

You wrote a sticky note, telling him where you were going, but you needed to tell him in person. You remember that your parents left without telling you once, and it scared you shitless. Yes, they left a note, but it still wasn't the best thing for you.

You sat the doll down in the living room with some of Brahms's favorite teddy bears, making the warmest cuddle pile that you could muster. "Brahms, honey, I have to go to town for a moment, okay? I promise to be back as soon as I can."

"No," you heard from the walls, the little boy calling for you. "Don't leave Brahms."

You fixed his little jacket and straightened his hair just a tad. "If you are on your bestest behavior, I'll let you have extra ice cream tonight--"

"Brahms... wants y/n," the voice said again on your left. the little voice echoed throughout the living room and it nearly broke your heart. "Don't leave me."

But you have to get some food. You have enough to last two days, but it's Tuesday. You can't have that. What type of caretaker would you be if you let little Brahms starve? What type of person would you be if he didn't have everything he needed? You let out a tired and quick breath and closed your eyes.

You stood up and went to the coat rack. You started putting on your warm jacket when you heard the walls crack as if there were rats. It's been doing that lately. More often than normal, actually. You've been here for a handful of months being the doll's nanny, and you loved it. Everyday was a new adventure with Brahms. Everyday, something new happened between you and the doll. The ghost of the boy even started talking to you more and more. You thought you were going insane, but he made it clear that it was him. The silence between you two was filled with bits of joy and happiness. The more you watched over Brahms, the more your heart swell for the doll.

As for his ghost and the walls moving? You couldn't make out if his was trying to scare you or make you nervous. Either way, a new rule was made: No Jump Scaring the Nanny. After that, Brahms's doll stopped moving from one room to the other, and you were thankful for that. You didn't want to have a heart attack every time you turn around and meeting a still doll looking back at you.

The house never felt empty when you and the doll hung out, you following the rules as close as you could. You and Brahms walked around the house every other day. You would carry him with such care as you talked about anything and everything. You loved seeing the art hanging on the walls, and you loved telling him daring storied behind some of the paintings. The house never felt alone with you around, and you felt as if he was thankful to have you. Maybe you're his first friend? Even at night, in separate rooms, you never felt alone. You always felt as if a guardian angel was watching you while you slept. Sometimes, you would feel as if your angel was sleeping next to you as the end of the bed, sitting on the edge, or leaving a kiss in your hair.

You weren't alone, y/n. Never were alone.

You went back into the living room and your face fell. The doll moved from the cuddle pile of teddy bears to your keys on the counter. He was sitting on it as if he could stop you from leaving, but he had to face it that he was just a doll, not human.

"Brahms," you breathed as you went to the keys. You pick them up then picked Brahms up. You carried him to the cuddle pile again. Turning, you took your jacket off the couch and placed it over him like a blanket. "Can you be a good boy and stay here? Not trash the house like last time?"

The last time you left, it was just to get the mail. When you came back, the library was turned upside down. Malcolm helped put things together while you put Brahms in time out, sitting him in a chair, facing the corner of the wall. That night, you had a heart-to-heart with him not to turn the house inside out whenever you leave. As punishment, you didn't give him his goodnight kiss or read to him. The next morning, you woke up to a drawn picture made out of crayons of some flowers, and there was a written apology on the back of the drawing.

"Stay," the boy's voice said again, but it sounded like it was over you. You looked you, jerking your head to see nothing by the ceiling. "Y/n shouldn't leave Brahms."

You looked back at the doll and placed a kiss on his head. You stand and took one last look at the room. "I will be back in two hours, okay? I promise."

"Don't go!" You heard something far in the house break, and it sounded like glass. "Don't leave me! I'll be good! Brahms will be good!"

"I'll be back!" You promised. "I swear!" You opened the front door and left, locking it behind you. As you started down the steps, you could've sworn you felt eyes watching you with hatred and fear. You looked back at the house then went to the car. "I promise," you whispered.

You started your car and left the Heelshire Mansion.

****************

As promised, you were back within two hours with a five bags of groceries and fast food. You got Brahms a Happy Meal to make up for leaving. You knew he'll be mad, but you hope he'll understand. His ghost was different to deal with sometimes, but you were happy with it. He wasn't the worst kid you've looked after, but he wasn't a saint either. Some days were better than others, but you always kissed him goodnight and read to him in the rocking chair in the den.

But you would be lying to yourself that you didn't enjoy leaving the house for a while, too. If it wasn't for the wind and the rain, it would be a halfway nice day. Maybe you would take Brahms on a drive once the weather gets better outside. You think he would love to go on a drive to the bookstore and back! He could pick out new books and stories for you to read, and you can get a cake pop and a hot cocoa...

Brahms would love that.

You unlocked the door and pushed the door open. "Brahms!" You announced. "I'm home--"

You dropped the bags as you found a grown man in the hallway of the house. He wore light grey sweatpants and a dirty white cutoff, showing different sized scars over his skin. His dark brown hair was curled and untamed, greasy and wild. You wanted to scream and call the cops, but something caught your eyes. He wore a mask that looked just like Brahms's face. The more you looked at him, the more familiar you felt with him. It's like you've known him your whole life being in the house taking care of the doll.

You closed the door behind you and picked the bags back up. He was out like a light, sleeping heavily in the hallway, clutching your jacket. You could see his mask had tear stained streaks over the clay, and you felt bad for him. If this was Brahms, the doll you've been caring for, you'll have to tell not to sleep on the floor because you haven't swept in a while.

You took the bags to the kitchen and put away the cold items before coming back to him. Carefully, you lifted the man up and hauled him to the couch. You laid his head on your lap and just looked at him. The man looked so close to the doll's face, and it almost scared you. There wasn't a ghost in the house. There wasn't a boy's ghost haunting the doll. There was him, and he's been here the whole time. His parents must've hid him away from the world, and you felt sorry for him.

But you should be scared. You should be terrified that there's a stranger resting on your lap, but you didn't fear a thing. The paintings of a young boy around the house was in your grasp. The mountains that he climbed and the laps he made throughout the house just to be near you must've killed him. You wondered how many times he wanted to hold your hand or hug you. You wonders how many times he thought of you when he was alone.

His parents hid him from the world, and that's not right. That wasn't right.

Well, at least he listened and didn't tore the house apart...

You looked at the grandmother clock in the corner of the living room then back at man. It's dinner time, and you thought of the fast food on the counter.

Gently, you shook his shoulder. "Brahms?" You asked in a whisper. "Brahms? Sweetheart, it's time for dinner... Brahms?" The man curled into the lab and buried his face in your stomach. You almost laughed; he reminded you of a puppy. "Brahms, time to wake up." You shake him a little harder this time, and he stirs. "Honey? Wake up," you say, shaking him again.

Slowly, the man sits up and looked at her with a sleepy gaze. It took him a moment to process where he was. When his eyes met yours, he scurried away from you, backing up from on the couch to the be on the other end. There was a mixture of emotions in his eyes: panic, fear, sadness, and hurt. He looked at you up and down the around him. How could he let you see him? He didn't want to meet like this. Not like this! He thought of showing himself to you in a couple of weeks, but this? No. No! This wasn't want Brahms wanted!

His thoughts stopped flooding as soon as your hand touched his. He looked at your hand then at you. "Brahms?" You whispered. "Are you... Brahms?"

You watched his Adams apple bob then he answered in the little boy's voice that you've been hearing for months, "Yes. Please don't be... mad at Brahms. I was... scared." He wanted to curl up and hide from you forever, but he saw your sad smile.

You tilted your head. "Why would I be mad?"

"Brahms left his spot," he answers shyly. "Brahms's a bad boy." His voice cracked as he remembered you telling him to stay right there in the pile. You told him to stay put but he didn't! He's the worse person for not listening to you! You've been nothing but kind to him.

You shake your head. "Oh, Brahms... it's okay. It's alright. You're not bad." Then you realized how truly big the house was and how he felt. How many years did he feel alone? How many times did he watch his real mother love a doll instead of him? He's alone. He's so scared of being alone. "You've must've been so scared of being alone again, huh?"

He nods. "Always alone. Brahms likes y/n. Y/n doesn't make Brahms feel..." he looked around the living room then at the doll in the teddy bear pile. "...alone."

"Well," you said, coming closer to him, taking both of his hands, "you will never be alone, sweetie. Not while I'm here."

"But you left."

"I came back, didn't I?" You asked, smoothing your thumb over his knuckles. "Right? I promised to come back to you, and I did. See?" You offered him a happy grin. "I didn't break my promise."

Brahms looks at you then down at your hands. He's always imagined what your hands felt like in his, and he melts. Carefully, he brought your hands up to his mask to let you touch the smooth glaze and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. Under his mask, he smiles and starts crying. He loves you with all his soul, and his lungs filled up with nothing but flowers for you. All for you.

"You were so brave," you praised. "Such a good boy for listening to me. Thank you for not destroying the house."

His eyes locked on yours. "I'm good?"

"Always been good, Brahms." You glanced at the counter where the fast food sat then back at him. "Let's eat dinner, okay?"

"Cuddle after that?" his little voice asked.

You nodded. "After eating. Sound like a deal?"

He nods as he leans forward into your hands, wondering what they would feel like against his skin. But, that'll be for another day. Both of you would have to take small steps before your lips would trace his, before his hands would hold yours every day.

Small steps, y/n, until you both don't feel alone.

[russellsppttemplates]

Papa Pierre dealing with some crisis with the kids. Maybe it's a meltdown, maybe one of them hurts themselves...something in order to make him sweat. And after when he's telling mamãe about it, he'll be all "I was so scared/stressed, amour. I don't know how you deal with this"

Tw: child accidentally gets hurt, mentions blood, hospital visits

The afternoon was filled with projects and activities you had left for Pierre while Alexandre and Louid were at school and you took Celeste for a doctor's appointment, leaving him with Élodie to make some arts and crafts.

"Oh, someone's calling papa, one second, chérie, I'll be right back", he excused himself, leaving the room and taking the call in the hallway. After sorting out a few details about next week's schedule, Pierre dialled off, entering the room to see his daughter's pouty lip, "what happened, amour?", he said, noticing her tear filled eyes.

"I- I was painting and then it slipped, so I want to grab the paper, and- and I hurt myself", she said, finally letting the tears flow freely as she allowed her body to feel the scare now that her papa was there with her.

"Where did you hurt yourself, Élodie?", Pierre asked, inspecting her from head to toe, "in my arm, papa", she said, showing the small cut on her forearm. Even though he was panicking a little, Pierre managed to go to the bathroom and grab the first aid kit and a bowl of water to bring to the room.

"It doesn't hurt papa, but there's some blood, look", his daughter mumbledd, showing him the wound, "papa is going to wet this and I'm going to clean it, okay? Tell me if it hurst", he said, not hearing any complaints from her as her tears died down, "Good, very brave, Élodie!", he encouraged, "it doesn't seem to deep, I think we can just put some solution and a band aid and you'll be good as new, okay?", he said, grabbing the foreign looking bottle.

"Is that going to hurt, papa?", she asked, seeing the reddish brown colour of the solution, "it might tickle a little, but this is what is going to make this better and heal faster, okay? I'll go gently", he promised her, gently dabbing the cotton on her skin, hearing her hiss, "you're doing so well, chérie, so so so well, I'm almost done".

"Now, we have these plasters, you can choose one of the big ones so it covers all of it", Pierre told her as he discarded all of the used supplies, coming back to see her choice, "this one, with the boats, I think it's pretty", she said, her cheeks dry from the tears, "I think it's a fine choice, let me put it on".

When you got home, both boys went upstairs so they could shower quickly after their practices while you changed Celeste's diaper, reminding the boys to shut the water before heading downstairs, "hey, you two", you greeted Pierre and Élodie, "is everything alright?", you asked since your oldest daughter was laying on top of her father, "she got hurt and now we are having some cuddles", he said as Élodie showed you her arm, "Oh, this should heal quickly", you kissed the plaster.

When Élodie went to the bathroom and rhe boys joined you downstairs, Pierre spoke up, "as stupid as it sounds now that I know she's fine, as soon as she told me she was hurt, I was so scared, I thought I'd have to call you to stay at the hospital because we would have to go there", he admitted, "it was a small nick, she said she brushed her arm too quickly, but I've already moved the table", he pointed to the coffee table now resting against the wall, "I don't know how you do it, you know? Stay calm and collected, because last time this happened to Alexandre you did what I did with Celeste on your chest, happily sleeping in the sling", he breathed out a chuckle.

Smiling at him, you kisses his forehead, "well, genetically and evolutionarily, women are designed to tend to many things at once", you said smartly, "and I was also a child that got bumps and bruises very easily", you said, earning a fake surprised look from him, "me being clumsy? I know! What a shock, eh?", you giggled.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[nexerist]

Heyyyyy, so I got into writing since work hasn't given me time to actually work on my art. It will soon be resolved in a few weeks, then back to posting more often. I am making a comic again and almost done with it so I don't promise projects that won't come.

Enough about me, and let's get to you! This is a thunderstorm comfort I wrote a while back on AO3 and forgot to post it here. My collection is called Nebula Kisses. This one-shot can be seen as platonic or romantic, next one is more on the romance side but still can be platonic if you wish. But so I don't clog your feed, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow or later but within the week!

I also apologize for the weird formatting, this was written on my phone during the time so I don't have the fancy indents or proper grammar check.

Thank you for sticking around with my inconsistencies, I wish I had more time.

So much love,

Nexi

Breath |Sun/Moon x Scared!Reader|

[Power had gone out, leaving Sun and Moon to look for you in the dark. However, you are absolutely horrified of thunderstorms.]

The daycare was lit up during the town wide blackout. The rumbling generators along with the constant loop of the daycare music, Sunnydrop was busy awaiting got his favorite visitor. Who might that be, well none other than the security guard who is ordered to look out for the lobby, green rooms, and of course, the daycare. Y/N is what they call themselves, which Sunny really liked that when they mentioned it to him, he walked around repeating it like a song.

But they were late, a half hour late. He taps his foot impatiently, he checks the attendance and sees that they did clock in. What were they doing? Did they get lost? It's impossible to miss his big daycare! Surely you didn't forget either, his lovely face was everywhere, that had to remind you to check on him.

A quiet rumble of the storm outside rang through the building. According to the weather, it was going to be a rough and long storm ahead. Heard it was going to last until morning.

Sun, getting impatient, decided to look for them himself. Feeling confident, he takes his long strides to the daycare door, his hand reaching for the door knob. He felt himself pause for just a moment. He hasn't really left daycare, not that he can't leave, but it was risky. Last time he left was to take care of that rulebreaker and set up some banned signs around Kids Cove, but that was the furthest he went in a very long time. Sun was still very angry about it, but it did reopen the daycare after Freddy left. So maybe he should forgive him? Nah, he needs to apologize first.

Sun shakes his head, he was getting off track. He opens the daycare door, mind back on his mission. To find his Starshine. He takes his long strides, making sure to stay near the light and flashing signs. The easy part was now over as he got to the entrance door that faced the slide back into his daycare.

As soon as he opened the door with great confidence, he saw that is was pitch black. Maybe his friend did get lost, with this darkness and no flashlight, it would be nearly impossible to find him! Not taking into consideration of muscle and location memory. He felt Moon stirring from inside.

“Moon, sorry to wake you up from your nap. Our dear friend is missing and I had hope to do it myself! But uh... Looks like I can't do much.” He spoke aloud. Silence rang through his head, awaiting for his alter ego to speak.

Moon was recently having a fit, and not talking. This happened since Eclipse disappeared into the arcade cabinet when he was playing that discount floppy bird game. Moon had tried to get him out by playing the game, but something happened to him too. He became mostly unresponsive, giving out short phrases or sentences.

Sun would hear his alter giggle, which relieved Sun that Moon was at least in a good mood. Sun takes in a false breath of courage and walked into the dark. If he could close his eyes, he would've. The familiar pain in his face shocked through him, making him grab at it. He feels his rays click into his head on at a time, unlocking his chest compartment which his infamous hat was held in. It started from his fingers, the oranges and silver turned to white and blue.

Sun felt himself pull back and release control. He now stood outside and watched Moon take his hat and place it up on his head. Moon crouched down and stretches his legs, then start crawling on the floor towards the wall. Sun, not wanting to be alone, would do his best to follow.

“Little Star has gone missing.” Is what Moon would say before climbing up the wall and opening a vent to crawl through. He started to giggle and cackle, it echoing through the building and alerting that Moon was out early. The glamrocks retreating to their green rooms as to not go to parts and services.

*×*×*×*×*×*

You had entered the building on time, rarely ever late. Today has been storming hard, the rain pattering hard on the glass of the lobby entrance. Things were up and normal, doing your normal tasks. Checked stock, picked up any lost and found items to either throw away or await for the owner to come in the next day to pick it up. As you head into lost and found, that was when you heard it. It started as a small rumble before the sky roared a building shaking thunder, knocking the power out.

You have always been afraid of thunder since you were young. Not that you could explain it to anyone without the fear of being made fun of for a childish fear. It wasn't childish to you, it was real, the sense of dread and fear that paralyzed you proved it. You drop to the floor, staying as close to the ground as you could. If you could just find your flashlight, you had to crawl around a bit to then heard another rumble.

It took your breath away, your hands shaking as you retrieve the flashlight. Trying to find some solace in the light, you put your thumb on the switch and pushed up. Click. Click-click. Nothing. The flashlight, so cheap that it doesn't even last a hour with full charge, was dead and the charging stations were down. You were in the dark, the loud storm rattling the outside shutter doors, making it very loud and overwhelming.

You grab a blanket from the shelf and put it over you and your head. It just felt safer when surrounded by the soft fabric. Peaking through the opening, you hesitantly get on your feet again. You still had a job to do, but it was going to be slower. You would like your paycheck still and you knew how stingy the company was, taking your panic and finding a way to no pay you.

You would manage to get out of lost and found in the dark. On your way out, a little glow in the dark Monty was resting in a stroller. It must've been left behind but picking it up, it still had its tag and security pin. Rather, someone tried to steal it. It did produce light, enough to get around at least. However, these toys don't glow in the dark for too long. Got maybe, a solid twenty minutes? It's been dark for five, so fifteen. You did your best to scamper to the green rooms and peak around.

You arrive and you see the famous glamrocks interacting with each other. Monty with Roxy and Chica, heading back towards their respective rooms. Monty had taken over as temporary lead as they remade a new Freddy. They did have to use the scraped Mr. Hippo glamrock to fill the fourth spot. Your train of thought was cut off as another loud crash of thunder rang through the building. You huddle against a corner and put the blanket over your head again.

“Why... Why now... Why can't you come when it was after work...” You mutter as you croutch down and felt tears prick your eyes. Another crash finally made you crack, you try to hold back your tears but they started to stream down your face. All you felt was dread, paralyzing fear that. You wanted to scream in fear but that would reveal your fear. You try to be fearless, not let anything bother you. When you first met Sun and Moon, they were rather surprised that you approached them. You had a fascination with how they acted and looked. It was endearing, when you took the time to watch them and interact that even under their rough attitude and words, they were lonely.

Lonely.

Another crash, you were shaking and on the ground. Hands over your ears and a quiet sobbing from your blanket shell. You were too scared to notice the vent opening and the giggling of a certain jester. One with the Moon rather than the sun. The jester made his round, single red eye darting around to find something. Then he hears the sobbing, unfamiliar to his sensors. Crawling over, he finds the shaking blanket of which the sobbing came from. When he lifted the blanket that was when he saw you. Your glow in the dark Monty plush was almost out of glow, leaving you in almost pure darkness.

Moon was all you saw now, his eye lit up the small space. He tilts his head in confusion.

“Why is Little Star hiding? No monsters are here, just Moon” He spoke, unsure to react to the crying. You quickly wipe your face and sniffle, putting up your strong front.

“Cause uhh, I was playing a game..?” You made it sound more like a question than an answer. Of course, it was a lie, so Moon leaned closer.

“Then why cry? Liar, liar I hate liars. Speak truth.” Moon wipes a tear from your cheek. But as you go to answer, the loudest crash of thunder lands. It shook the building again, making the lights flicker and power back off. You yelp and cling onto Moon. You try to get as close as you could, fingers slipping a tad just for you to scramble to get your grip. You breathing escalated and felt the verge of hyperventilation. You weren't expecting anything from Moon, never was the touchy one unlike Sun who couldn't stop having tiny touches and bumps.

But you then felt mechanical arms wrap around you. He sat down and pulled you onto his lap, cradling you close to him. He gently rocks back and fourth, winding his broken chest music box. He was taking nap time protocol with some modifications. His broken music box plays a soft tune, though in some places it wobbled.

“Breathe. Deep breaths. It will be okay..” Moon whispers. You try to follow his instructions, still freaking out. Your shaking breath and hiccups try to find a rhythm. Moon rests his blue hand and rubs gently up and down your back. It was slow. “Breathe in..” He whispers, his hand gliding up slowly, helping you follow. You take a shuttering breath in, slow like his hand. It stops, in which you held your breath. “Breathe out...” His hand runs back down and you sigh out. It was then looped

Moon would then carry you, you holding onto him with your legs around his thin waist, him with a arm under you and one on your back to keep the rhythm going. He adjusted the blanket to keep it over your head.

He arrives back to the door of the daycare, avoiding the light, he hooked his arm around the wall to find the light switch to turn off the lights. He finds it and flicks it off, hearing the buzzing electricity stop. He peeks in to make sure and then walks in. He takes the long way around and gets inside the daycare. He would have the fly hook attach to his back and he glides over to his and Sun's tower.

“... Moon..? Why are we here..?” You asked, hearing the rumble again and wincing at the noise. Moon would hold you close as he goes back to crawling. He crawls through a small hole off to the side and see that it was a small hiding place. There was boxes, drawings, a mattress with a few pillows. There was also an arcade cabinet in the corner with the screen busted.

“Hide away, storm won't follow here.. Safe here..” He crawls onto the mattress and lays you next to him. The rumbles of the storms were dampened, making it barely audible. With the help of Moon's music box as well, he pets your head.

“... Thank you.” You mumble out, only for Moon respond with a fake click of his tongue. He giggled a bit and curled up around you, his legs are under yours, making you rest yours on top of his. You both cuddle up under the blanket, Moon rubbing your back to keep the deep breath rhythm.

A very loud roar of the sky fills the room, and you both tense up and huddle. A few more tears fall and Moon quickly wipes them away. It was the first time you would ever see Moon have a slight shake in his hand. He was afraid too, of thunder and storms. He was able to repress his fear as his tip top priority was to make sure you were okay first. But he felt as if he needed to keep up this false confidence that you could remain calm.

You mimic his movements, running your hand on his back in a soothing motion.

“Breathe...” You both say at the same time. You get as close as you two could and comforted each other. Moon pecks the top of your head. He felt safe with you, and you felt safe with him. For someone as reclusive as Moon, this was a good bonding experience that neither of you would forget.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM ELLA ENCHANTED *  assorted dialogue from the 2004 film, adjust as necessary

i gotta work on that.

quiet, please. i can't concentrate here.

isn't it wonderful?

i have a no return policy.

why don't you go back to where you came from?

what a stupid name.

nobody wants you here.

i always knew something was wrong with me.

can't you take the spell back?

you must never tell anyone else.

i don't want anyone using it against you.

what's inside you is stronger than any spell.

take this. then i'll always be with you.

your father would like to speak to you.

it was either get married or sell the house.

is this the right address?

the house looks delightful.

my clothes need more room than this.

please don't touch it. it was my mother's.

admit you're stupid and don't know what you're talking about.

hold your tongue.

your coronation is next week.

i've kept my promise, haven't i?

i don't need your chivalry, thanks.

you're the first maiden i've met who hasn't swooned at the sight of me.

i want peace in the kingdom as much as anyone.

so you have a new plan once you take the crown?

that's what i thought. you're all just the same.

perhaps that's why i find your obvious disdain for me so refreshing.

i'll try and be more considerate next time i'm saving you.

next time? what makes you think we'll see each other again?

stop flirting with him.

i need you to do me a little favor.

a felon in my own family. i could die from embarrassment.

you are forbidden ever to see her again.

thank goodness you're all right.

i should have told you about this years ago.

i think it's only fair to warn you that i'm practiced in the ancient art of... origami.

don't let him scare you, sweetheart! kick his butt!

i am going to need so much therapy after this.

that's very sweet, but i'm on a tight schedule.

i'm on a tight schedule. were i not... i would love to have dinner with you.

great. i knew it. a talking book.

i think i may have found you another chance at your future husband.

elves aren't that short, you know.

the rustling always comes before the screaming and the running.

it never hurts to be on your guard.

i led a rally on your behalf the other day. maybe you heard about it.

we just did this. didn't we just do this?

who's to say it wouldn't have worked if you hadn't come barging in?

you're bleeding.

you'd better let me help you with that.

it makes it so much easier rescuing you if i don't have to commute.

your girlfriend doesn't mind being left alone?

that's not really my area of expertise.

you have the power to make a difference in the world and you don't even care.

they're not so bad. i thought they'd be all so big and scary.

i thought that maybe this would be a good time to possibly have a heart to heart.

do you know where the bathroom is?

i had no idea things were so bad.

you have to stay for the night.

i wish you would stay.

i hope you don't mind me saying this, but you're much prettier than i would have expected.

your father would have been proud.

i think he would have really liked you.

kiss me.

that wasn't an order, you know.

i trust your journey was pleasant?

might i trouble you for a moment?

you will tell no one of this plan.

i will do anything you ask.

please tell me you never wanna see me again.

we're together now. and when we're together, it's like magic.

will you marry me?

you tried to kill me.

i can't believe i'm saving you after you tried to kill me.

i should have disposed of you when i had the chance.

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (4)

Chapter 4: Comatose

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warning: cussing, mentions of a panic attack

Word count: 8,129

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, lovelies! The long awaited 4th chapter is here and omg I'm so sorry for the long wait! I haven't even realized it's been a month since my last update...but I had a lot of stuff to do for my University and just didn't find the time to write, but here I am now, and I'll try to update next week or after that! I promise you'll have lots of Mingi next chapter *wink wink*, but I hope after reading this chapter Yn's attitude will make more sense, and that she won't be so insufferable anymore to you all reading. Please listen to the fourth song Comatose before or while reading this chapter! Yes, I have totally made Mingi wear his waterbomb outfit in this chapter because waterbomb Mingi shall NEVER be forgotten, goodbye. Please leave feedback, I truly appreciate it! Enjoy now! I have a surprise coming next chapter, hehet^^

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

The blinking of the cursor was staring back at me mockingly, a reminder that my fingers haven’t moved in the past ten minutes. No thoughts connected to the theme of my project came to mind, no matter how hard I tried and how many articles I read. My mind seemed to be blank at the moment and it seemed like it wouldn’t get any better anytime soon. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling well. And that usually reflects in my work and influences my whole mood, and even day. I thought I would have a very productive day as I got ready this morning and went to the library to finish my art assignment, however, the little kick I had, came crushing down the second Mingi decided to sit with me. Well, perhaps that one small factor wasn’t the real reason which ruined my mood and brought me to the brink of a panic attack, and the current void and emptiness I have been feeling in my chest ever since. Perhaps it was the mention of Jeong Yunho and the reminder of how little I have always meant to him. My lower lip quivered again, and I allowed myself to fall back in the chair I was sitting in, staring up at my white ceiling in desperation. Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Yunho again? Was the Universe having a laugh at me? What were the chances that this Song Mingi was the same Song Mingi Yunho never shut up about while we were dating? It was frustrating. It was maddening and it was…mocking. I couldn’t help but feel bitter the longer I allowed the image of Mingi and Yunho laughing, hanging out, falling all over each other, linger in my mind. Their hearts filled with joy and their time spent with endless conversations, late night trips to the convenience store, random road trips and the overall feeling of knowing that you always had one person you could rely on no matter what. What did Mingi have that I didn’t? What did Yunho see in him that he never saw in me? Why was Mingi better than me? And why…was I suddenly feeling this vial jealousy creeping up in my chest like an ugly monster, the whisper of thoughts I have always tried to push to the depths of my mind after Yunho’s sudden, but heartbreaking, departure from my life?

『Straight coats and empty cabinets

Ashes from all the mess you left

New lease without you

I confess that I'm happy you're gone』

What was it about Song Mingi that Yunho was so infatuated with? What was it with Song Mingi that everyone seemed to like and gravitate towards? All I could see was the arrogance and self-centeredness rolling off of him in waves any time he entered a room. The need to shine and be the center of attention, to be the only person anyone was able to see, to focus on. The constant smirk or grin on his lips, almost always mocking or just an awful reminder that he was better than you—it was subtle, but it was there. The mischievous glint in his eyes as he watched your every move, hiding behind a wall of emotionlessness, sharp eyes watching but not giving anything away. There was no honesty in his expressions or in his actions. But why did nobody else see that? Why was I the only one picking up on how insincere Mingi actually was? Why did nobody question what he hid behind those dark and sharp eyes? His face so often void of any emotion. And then, to further prove my confusion, the Mingi I talked to today was—why did he feel different? Everything staring from his appearance to his behavior was unlike the infuriating person I have come to know. He portrayed a calm and collected nature, albeit still mischievous as he had taken my sketchbook without my permission, yet it was so clear on his face that he didn’t have any mal intentions. What prompted him to approach me out of the blue and why did he look almost…lonely? What drew him to smile so much and so freely? It certainly couldn’t have been me; I have done everything I could to make him feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, yet he…stayed. He talked without a care in the world, almost as if he forgot I would be judging his every move and sentence. He almost looked curious of who I was, trying to make conversation in which I did not want to engage in. What was it about Yunho that made his eyes sparkle so much? Why did Yunho have so much of an influence on Mingi? Why did it have to be Mingi? Why does Yunho have to be everywhere around me even after he leaves? Does Yunho really mean that much to Mingi? Just how deep is their bond? But the most jarring thought amidst the spiraling of my mind into a place I did not wish for it to go, was a very simple one. Why do I care about Song Mingi all of a sudden? Why do all these things matter to me all of a sudden? Who is Song Mingi to me to send me into an existential crisis, into a state of nervosity, and restlessness, and so much bitterness? He’s just a guy. A guy who is very irritating, arrogant, self-centered, and a pushover. A guy who only wants attention and is superficial. A guy who forgets about you the second he’s turned his back to you. A guy who only likes you until you’re new and exciting. When you start becoming boring, what does it matter anymore? Why would he keep you around for longer? Perhaps him and Yunho have more in common than I would have thought at first.

『So used to pain that it's my remedy

Easy to hate, I gave you everything

Funny that you're the one that ran away

You left me first』

I couldn’t do this anymore, I had to stop thinking. I needed my brain to shut up, to stop torturing me more than I was already hurting. I refused to reach my breaking point again just because Mingi mentioned that Yunho was his best friend—why was I giving him so much power? Trying to snap out of it, I groaned loudly as I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palms, sitting up straight again to try and focus for the last time on my project. I had to get this done in two days, I really couldn’t slack off anymore. So, I opened the previous tab I was reading from and scrolled up in order to start reading the article from the beginning once again, hoping that the words in it would finally stick. But despite my attempt to finally focus on the only important task at hand, the loud ping of my phone quickly pulled my attention away from it. I jumped at the loud sound and cursed silently, having forgotten to put my phone on ‘do not disturb’. My eyes snapped down to it mildly annoyed, but quickly furrowed when I realized it was a message from an unknown number. I stared at it for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion.

Unknown: are u coming to Outlaw tonight?

Before I could really control myself, curiosity overtook me. It must’ve been someone who knows me since they were asking about Outlaw. They must have seen me there last time.

Me: who’s this? Unknown: mingi lol

My eyebrows instantly furrowed as I stared down at the message, my stomach doing a weird flip. My fingers hovered over the screen of my phone, tempted to just quickly block his number and forget about the past ten seconds, because what the fuck? How did he even get my number? I certainly don’t remember giving it to him.

Me: wtf? how do you have my number. Unknown: wooyoung

I blinked, mind blanching for a second. Wooyoung? That made even less sense as Wooyoung and I have met just once and I have not given him my phone number. I waited for a few seconds longer, waiting for Mingi to explain further, but it never came. No small dots indicating that he was texting anything else. I groaned and looked at my pale green wall for a second, trying to collect my thoughts and not throw my phone out the window. Why did he have to have my number? Was this Mingi’s way of getting on my nerves even more? And now I had to figure out how Wooyoung got my number—oh. I tsked in disbelief, eyes zooning in on the picture of Seulgi and myself I had on display on my desk. Of course, that little bitch. Why would she ask me first before giving my phone number to a complete stranger—even if Mingi wasn’t that, I still didn’t want him to have it.

Me: whatever, i’m blocking you. Unknown: so, are you coming then? Me: no, mingi, i am not.

I rolled my eyes at Mingi’s insistency of getting an answer and blatant ignorance towards my threat of blocking him—which wasn’t as menacing as I wished for it to be. But it only took him seconds to answer, and I tried not to think about how quickly he was responding.

Unknown: ok

My eyes narrowed at his simple—and sharp—answer, fingers hovering over the keyboard to fire an insult at him if he went ahead and started leaving more messages, wanting to remind him that I was not in any shape or form curious to hear any more of his bullshit. The bitterness was quite strong in the back of my head, jealousy searing through my body—I couldn’t help it. A minute or two passed, but Mingi wasn’t typing anything else and I huffed, irritated by his antics. Why was he even asking if I would go to Outlaw? I hated it the first time—well, maybe that was a little lie—and I still hate it now, so therefore I had not one reason to go and watch him perform again. Not one particle in my body wished to hear his raspy voice accompanied by a guitar, bass, and drums. I was quite content by going to bed early tonight and forgetting about the whole day, hoping that my chest would feel less heavy in the morning and the green monster would be gone from my head. And yet, despite my better judgment, my fingers worked quickly, before my mind could even register what I was doing, and I was saving Mingi’s number. There was no desire in me to have his name in my phone under any shape, so I stopped for a second to ponder over the many options I could be calling him, such as: idiot, dumbass, jackass, prick, mr. arrogant—were sounding rather pleasing to my ears—and yet, despite the wicked grin I had on my lips, my mind seemed to settle for a simple ‘I hate him’. His number was saved in my phone without putting more thought into what I was doing, and I was placing my phone aside, attention going back to my project. Now, there was nothing in the world which could disturb me again—but then my phone rang. I groaned loudly and felt like pulling on my hair, staring at my cursed phone heatedly. I was half expecting Mingi’s number to pop-up, but thankfully it wasn’t him. That would’ve been the last straw for today, I certainly would’ve gone crazy. Instead, it was Seulgi calling and I knew she had something important to say if she wasn’t texting. I picked up, albeit with disdain.

“Hey!” She sounded cheerful, excited. Very much the opposite of my mood right now.

“Hi.” I muttered and started tapping my forefinger against my desk, staring down at the article I had opened in front of me.

“You sound like you want to kill someone.”

“And I do.” My answer made Seulgi laugh, making me sigh. And that person was Song Mingi, of course.

“What’s got your panties in a twist this time, huh?” Seulgi’s voice was playful, and unfortunately, it was only building up my irritation. She didn’t have any bad intentions, but I couldn’t handle her cheeriness and playfulness at the moment. I needed to be alone. I needed to not think and just get shit done.

“Why did you call?” I preferred not to answer her question as I asked another one, voice not snappy just tired as Seulgi remained silent for a second on the other end.

“Noir Zenith are performing at Outlaw tonight,” I knew where this was going, I just gulped realizing Mingi had asked the same thing of me just mere minutes ago, “Do you want to come with me?”

“No.” My answer was too fast and harsh, I quickly tried to mend it, “I’ve got a family thing—issue, I mean. I’m sorry, but I can’t come because of it…”

My voice got quiet as I trailed off, not particularly fond of lying to my best friend, but I really didn’t want to go out tonight and I knew if I told Seulgi the real reason she would complain and complain until I finally gave in, her tactic of coercion working just fine on me. I never stood a chance in front of her when she would start complaining and whining and bringing up all the times I have bailed on her in the past.

“Oh,” It wasn’t hard to hear the disappointment in her voice, and if I weren’t in such a bad headspace at the moment I would have felt awful, “it’s fine, I get it. But…you do know you can tell me anything, right?”

I sighed loudly, “I know, thanks Seulgi, and sorry. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“Don’t worry about it,” She was smiling now, adding a small chuckle too, “We all have bad days, I’ll see you at university tomorrow?”

“Most certainly.” A small smile made it onto my face and Seulgi quickly bid her goodbye as we hung up, silence enveloping me. I didn’t forget to press the ‘do not disturb’ button this time as I placed my phone on my desk, next to my laptop, and faced the article taunting me. Not finishing this project today wasn’t an option anymore, and so, I quickly dove in, the torturing thoughts finally silent somehow.

            The hours went by quickly and despite my mind struggling to focus on the task at hand, I made it. I finished the project in about four hours and it definitely gave me a little confidence boost, which I desperately needed after the emotional turmoil I was forced to face today. My mind was a mess. I was tired and I needed to sleep. I didn’t even care how early or late it was as I got into bed, forgetting to wash my face or even change into my pajamas, I just needed to lay my head down and close my eyes. And it was working well…until it wasn’t. The warmth of my thick blanket enveloped me and my head grew heavier as my muscles relaxed, the comfort of my bed bringing peace to my loud thoughts. It felt nice. To finally be able to forget everything that’s happened today, to just let go and…sleep. I really needed this; I haven’t felt this exhausted in a long time. I have never been good at dealing with my feelings, I usually pushed them away and ignored everything I felt…until they blew up in my face. Then, I would finally break and it was chaotic and messy. I knew it was the wrong coping mechanism, but I couldn’t help it. Nothing else worked, because I just couldn’t deal with the pain. I hated the overwhelming thoughts, the pressing heaviness and constant pain. I just simply didn’t want to deal with them. Drawing was a nice way of escaping my reality, but lately it didn’t help. It drew me up the wall, it was so frustrating. So many emotions had been steering hidden deep inside these past weeks, I didn’t know how to deal with them—I didn’t want to deal with them, actually. I needed them silent, gone.

And despite needing to sleep right now, eyes heavy and mind fuzzy, it wasn’t working. Nothing helped. My mind was silent, yet my ears were buzzing, whispers so quiet in the back of my head that I could barely hear them. My chest was heavy, it felt like I needed to cry, but my throat was closing in on me, refusing to let any tears to the surface. I could breathe, but at the same time I couldn’t. Turning on to my left side did nothing, but snap my eyes open. Why couldn’t I sleep? Why was this feeling returning? Why couldn’t I just rest for one fucking second?! I buried my head into my pillow and let out a silent scream, punching the soft mattress of my bed next to my head, legs trashing around as I needed to let out the creeping hysteria in my body somehow. Was I finally going crazy? Was my mother’s premonition finally blending into reality? She did randomly while watching TV, one month ago, tell me that I would soon face a challenging obstacle in my life, which would feel suffocating and relieving at the same time. Mind running per hour, I shot up in a sitting position and gaped at nothing in particular, recalling the memory of said night. But my mother said nothing else as she went back to watching TV, acting as if what she had said to me was totally normal. It wasn’t. But I was used to her quirky antics, she was a bit whimsical, but I loved her. Her intentions were always good and pure, she was a woman full of love and warmth…unlike me. Perhaps I was like my father…not that I could remember him, he’s left us while I was a little girl. We kept in touch until I turned approximately eight, after that…he never showed his face again. Something about moving to a new city and starting a new life, I couldn’t care less, he was never a pilar of support in my life. I didn’t need a man to bring me comfort, to make me feel safe. I had myself for that, and my mother—when things got too rough to handle on my own.

With a sigh, I reached over my bed and grabbed my sketchbook from my bedside table and turned on the small lamp, grabbing the pencil I had from underneath my pillow. Not one corner of my room was safe from my drawing supplies. I flipped the sketchbook open to a blank page and sighed, eyebrows lightly furrowing as I pressed the pencil against the soft paper. I didn’t have anything particular in mind as I started drawing. Maybe a small meadow with colorful flowers or a flower field, those sounded nice right now. It felt like they could fix my sour mood after today, like they would bring a little comfort to my overthinking brain at the moment. But I already knew I couldn’t control my hand when it came to drawing, and I wasn’t too surprised to find myself drawing the outline of a face. The lines were sharp and precise, darker around the brow bone and defining at the sharp and pointy nose. I added shading to the jawline before moving to the cheekbones, not making them too harsh. The sketch so far was looking like any regular face. It could turn into anything from here on. I could make it anyone I wanted it to be. For some reason my hand went to draw the lips instead of the eyes, usually those were the first thing I drew when starting a portrait. But this time, my brain focused on the dark outline of the plump lips and adding more depth as the Cupid’s Bow was deep and pointy. I licked my lips as I allowed my eyes to run over the eyeless portrait, subconsciously adding a small mole to the left side of its face, close to the jawline. I had a hunch where this was going, but I wanted to keep going—I couldn’t stop my brain from pushing me to just draw more. I allowed my pencil to run over the lines of the nose, making them sharper, lengthening it just like the person had it in real life. My hand hovered in the air for a second, reluctant to finally draw the eyes of the portrait, but I didn’t have it in me to stop right now. I always hated leaving my work unfinished—that was my excuse right now too, despite knowing who I was drawing once again. Yet not one particle in my body wished to stop right now, and I couldn’t help it as I finally drew lines sharp enough to accentuate the depth and glare in his deep eyes. The shading of them happened quickly and without even thinking, the small but dark mole sat comfortably underneath his right eye as I pressed my pencil firmly against the paper.

The breath which left my lips was sharp, and I gulped as my grip tightened around my pencil. I knew what I was doing this time, yet I didn’t stop it. Why? Why did I allow myself to draw—Mingi. His sharp and expressionless face stared back at me and I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t mocking me, he didn’t have any twinkle in his eyes, he was just…there. On my paper, in my favorite journal-like sketchbook. And my heart was beating faster the longer I was looking at it. My stomach was twisting in a foreign way and I felt like I needed air. Fresh air. It felt like my room was closing in on me, I felt like I didn’t have enough space all of a sudden. The blanket falling on my lap suddenly felt too warm, like it was burning my body up. Without a second thought, I threw the sketchbook off from my lap, together with the blanket, and sprung out of bed, racing towards my closet. I threw it open and grabbed the first thing which came into view, a grey oversized jumper, as I stepped out of my slippers and slipped my phone into the pocket of my grey sweatpants, headed for my closed door. My throat was squeezing itself and it was a little hard to breathe as I frantically moved down the stairs, desperate for fresh air at this point. The light was on in the kitchen and I realized it wasn’t even ten pm yet as my mother was tinkering around, listening to some jazz music. I must’ve been loud as I almost crashed into the wall, struggling to put on my sneakers.

“Honey?” I heard my mother’s voice coming from behind me as I turned to look at her. Her ginger hair was a mess as her curls stuck out in all directions, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Everything alright?”

I nodded, fearing what my voice would sound like as I quickly wore the jumper in my hands, “Are you going out? It’s a little late…”

I hummed, licking my lips nervously, hand reaching for the doorknob, “I won’t take long, I promise.”

“Call me if you need me.” My mother had an understanding look on her face, it made my lips tremble, “I’ll pick you up.”

“Didn’t you drink?” My voice was slightly shaking as my eyes went to the wine glass she was holding in her right hand. My mother glanced down at it as if she had forgotten about it and quickly pushed it behind herself.

“We could always ride my electric scooter; I haven’t used it in quite a while.” My mother giggled at her own suggestion and I couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle, the tightness in my throat lessening a little bit. How badly I wished to pour my heart out to her, to let my feelings finally loose, but I couldn’t. That would mean having to face what I was feeling. That would mean everything was real and not just made up by my useless brain.

“I’ll be home in an hour, don’t worry.” My mother just hummed as she watched me leave as I took my keys and closed the door carefully behind myself. The crisp air of the evening was a harsh wake-up call that I should’ve worn a jacket as well, but I didn’t have it in me to walk back inside my warm house. I couldn’t. I needed to walk. I needed to clear my mind. I had to get rid of this awful feeling in my chest. And so that’s just what I did, I walked. I took off towards nowhere particular as my feet carried me down the sidewalk, the streets illuminated by the lampposts, creating just enough light, but not too much. A few cars passed by then and now, the neighborhood relatively quiet at this hour of the evening. The cold air was biting at my cheeks and I buried my hands in my pockets, taking a deep breath before releasing it slowly. It felt nice as the cold air traveled through my throat, deep down into my lungs. It was refreshing, it was just what I needed. As I took a left turn, I left my neighborhood and realized I was headed towards the city center, more people on the road now as it was the main one. Groups of teenagers passed by me and I shivered at the sudden cold breeze. I looked around and watched as it picked up and blew the branches of the trees apart, more leaves falling to the ground, creating a blanket of orange and burgundy underneath our feet. The leaves crunched under my shoes and I felt myself smiling as I kicked into a smaller pile gathered up on the sidewalk by the wind, memories of my childhood fresh in my mind. My mother would always gather the leaves in our small backyard and then she’d take me outside and we’d play around for hours in the leaves, giggling and laughing as we’d pretend that I was a princess and she was the leaves monster trying to kidnap me from my kingdom. Despite my mother struggling at times, my childhood never lacked anything, and it was filled with many happy memories. Sometimes I wondered what changed that I turned into such a moody and sour person. There were remnants of my old self when I was with Seulgi or with my mother, but I was pretty bad at opening up to strangers, at letting others in…especially males. I couldn’t help but think they had other motives and were only waiting for the right time to fuck me over, to abandon me. My attention was brought to a couple as the girl screeched and ran past me, the boy chasing after her while holding something in his hands, giggling loudly and calling out her name. I couldn’t help but glance after them, the green monster back in my head, as the guy caught up with her and tackled her into a hug despite the girl’s loud complaints. I have realized, the guy was carrying dirt in his hands and the girl’s cheeks were already smudged with it, probably. My stomach clenched and it got harder to gulp as I tore my eyes off them, trying to take a deep breath, trying to push down the memories threatening to resurface.

But I couldn’t help it as Yunho made it to the forefront of my mind, our many dates stored away in a little treasure chest in my heart. We used to go on so many dates, Yunho loved trying out new things and visiting new places. Every second weekend he planned something new, he surprised me with something. I thought I was the luckiest girl on Earth. I thought I would never find anyone else who could love me and cherish me as much as Yunho—and perhaps I really never would. Because Yunho was special, because he made you feel like you were the only one in the whole world he could see, he could love. A small part of me still wished he loved me at some point. Of course, it did, I was so hopelessly in love with him once that everything was about him. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t live without him. He was the only thing I could think about, I could talk about. Everyone told us how well we matched; how perfect we were for each other. The both of us always smiling, always so nice to others. Before getting abandoned by Yunho, I was—I wasn’t like this. I smiled, I laughed, and I joked around a lot. I was happy and I loved life, I loved everything around me and I had this urge to discover everything life had to offer me. I couldn’t stay put in one place for too long and I always had everything planned out, each step of mine—my life next to Yunho. The promises he made were still fresh in my mind, I could still remember them despite being it a long time ago—but perhaps it wasn’t long enough, I have suddenly come to the realization of it. It was hard to breathe again as my favorite moment with Yunho was suddenly too fresh in my mind, too easy to recall. We had gone to a movie he really wished to watch, something about a girl who had to pretend she was a boy in order to make it onto the university’s football team to get revenge on her ex, it was actually a re-run as the movie had come out a long time ago, but Yunho loved it and he really wanted to watch it at the cinema. Of course I went with him, I wanted to see the movie too because Yunho loved it. And what Yunho loved, I also did. It was an easy watch, lighthearted and cheesy and predictable, it didn’t surprise me that it was one of Yunho’s favorites. But once the movie was over Yunho wanted to get ice cream, and as someone who loves ice cream—mint choco is the best flavor, fight me—I was eager to go with Yunho. But our peace of mind didn’t last for long as it started raining cats and dogs in no time, forcing us to take shelter somewhere—except that we didn’t. Yunho pulled me out into the pouring rain and he made us dance, he acted out cheesy scenes from Dirty Dancing, raising me up and flipping me around clumsily, almost dropping me in the process not even once, making me shriek and clutch onto him for dear life. I have never laughed more in my life than that night and I have never felt more loved that in that moment. Yunho’s eyes were shining with so much warmth and happiness, it was also the first time he said the words. ‘I love you.’ I couldn’t tell whether it was the rain or happy tears on my cheeks, but the sudden clenching of my heart and overwhelming feeling in my chest made me flung my body against his, holding onto Yunho’s tall frame like my life depended on it. And in that moment, I knew—I knew that I also loved him. But I couldn’t say it, not yet, not when everything felt like it was too much, so instead, I pressed my lips against his pouty ones and smiled as Yunho started giggling, only to pick me up and twirl me around in excitement before asking me to hop on his back, only for him to take off running towards his house. It was my favorite memory of us, for various reasons, but perhaps the main one was because Yunho was so sincere in that moment. Because I couldn’t hear any doubt in his words like the other times he said that he loved me.

『Straight coats and empty cabinets

Ashes from all the mess you left

New lease without you

I confess that I'm happy you're gone』

I came to a stop as my phone buzzed in my pocket, mind hazy as I tried to shake off the memory which felt so alive in my head. I could almost see it playing out in front of myself. If I reached my hand out, I could almost touch Yunho—but he wasn’t here—and I was allowing myself once again to live in the past, a very bad habit of mine. I unlocked my phone after I crossed the road, the sidewalk littered with various shops, most of them already closed as it was almost ten now. I had been walking for twenty minutes without even realizing it. Looking down at my phone, I realized Instagram had sent me a notification that Seulgi posted a story after a while. She was probably at Outlaw still, watching Noir Zenith perform. I pressed on her story and it opened to show a close-up video of the three boys performing, the camera focusing on Wooyoung for a few seconds longer before it was moved away, zooming in on playfully on Mingi. I had the volume down, I couldn’t hear what he was singing, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he was leaning forward, mouth moving in a fast way as his eyes were half-closed, veins protruding on his neck, expression almost like he was angry, almost like feelings were overwhelming him as he held the microphone in his left hand tightly. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but I quickly pushed any thought of him away as I realized he was slightly…wet? His white shirt, the top buttons unbuttoned until they reached his chest stuck to his body and had turned almost see-through, but it didn’t seem like it bothered Mingi as he continued on performing. Heavy chains lay against the base of his throat and a blue sheer sunglass was sitting on his tall nose, almost sliding off of it as he was bobbing his head furiously to the music, his bass abandoned somewhere. As my eyes focused on the huge bracelet on his right hand and the blue and white scarf wrapped around his left wrist, both hands decorated with thick silver-colored rings, the video cut off. I remained unblinking for a second, eyebrows twitching as I realized Seulgi had posted the video not even half an hour ago. So…the band was still performing and…Mingi was looking like that. Suddenly I was glad I wasn’t there to witness him being all indecent and acting like a—something. I most certainly wouldn’t hear the endless praises if I were there and the constant screaming of his baboons—perhaps calling them his fangirls would sound nicer, but I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction—and with my current mood, that was the last thing I wanted to see and hear. Mingi was detestable and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of going to any of his other performances, finding them useless as I wasn’t even into their music. I started walking again, aware that the wind had picked up more, rustling the branches and leaves harsher, making me shiver in my underdressed state, reminding me that I should head home now. I said I wouldn’t stay out for too long, my thoughts seemed to have cleared just a little bit, besides, the cold air was enough to knock me out once I got to lay in my warm and comfortable bed.

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose

I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

However, the second I wanted to exit the app and put my phone away, a new story suddenly appeared in Seulgi’s spot and I gulped realizing who it was. Yunho’s happy and smiling face was taunting me in his profile picture, and before I could control myself, I pressed the icon, opening his story. The username Yuyu followed by a sunflower flashed for a second on the screen and then—and then everything around me stopped. There was no wind, there was no sound of cars passing by or people talking as they walked by me. It wasn’t cold anymore. My lungs failed me once again, but my mind went silent. Completely silent. There was a rumble in the distance, but I couldn’t say what it was. A girl, much smaller than him—and a lot cuter than myself—was laughing in the boomerang Yunho had posted, her black hair falling around her shoulders nicely, the white coat barely hiding the short lavender colored dress she was wearing. And Yunho—he looked so happy, he looked—whole. His face had gotten fuller, yet features sharper since the last time I had seen him. I have forgotten that I was still following him on Instagram. He had his arm around the girl’s shoulder and was actively pulling her into his side as he was smiling brightly too, his protruding front teeth showing as he had his eyes on the girl only. He had tagged her too and I was clicking on her name fast, before even thinking about what I was doing. Her profile was public and she had many posts. Most of herself, but there were some of the places she’s traveled to as well. But her most recent post—was with Yunho. The two sitting on a bench, then a selfie, and then a picture of the place they had been at, with the caption of: ‘Luckiest girl in the world!’ I gulped and closed the app, taking a deep breath, realizing that I had started shaking.

『You wasted all my fucking time

Were never really in my life

You were further than I could imagine

I love you, but fuck you』

Why did my legs feel like jelly all of a sudden? Why did the heaviness in my chest get even worse? Why was I reacting like this? It made no sense. Yunho broke up with me three years ago and I was over him. He hurt me more than anyone has before, but I was over him. I have let go; I have released the feelings I have felt for him. But then why did it bother me so much that he found happiness with someone else? Why did it leave a bitter taste in my mouth? Suddenly why was the green monster back and making me clutch my phone tightly in my hand? If he was able to find someone, to be happy again, why wasn’t I doing the same thing? Why was I incapable of loving? Of being loved? Of opening up and letting in new people? Why was I forcing myself to wallow in my own misery? Why was I punishing myself by constantly living in the past? What more could I want? Why did I still wish for Yunho to return and apologize for everything he’s done, for the gap he’s left in my heart? For the turmoil he’s caused in my head, for the ache that never really went away with his departure from my life? And it hit me lick a wall of bricks, that something was hitting my flaming cheeks. Another rumble, and I realized it was thunder. Head tilting back, I realized it was raining—pouring. Washing away the tears which were making my eyes burn. When did it start raining? Why did everything hurt so much? I couldn’t help the sudden sob which wracked my body as I put my phone in my pocket as a futile attempt to keep it dry as my clothes were getting drenched the longer I stood unmoving on the sidewalk. But my feet felt heavy, rendering me frozen to the spot. Nobody was outside anymore. I was alone. Just as always. No matter how many people cared for me, I was still alone in hurting, in dealing with the mess I was. And it hurt. It made me cry harder as I pressed a hand against my mouth, trying to muffle my pathetic sobs. But it felt good—so good to finally let it all out, to just finally allow the misery to come to the surface, to acknowledge that I couldn’t deal with these feelings anymore. My chest hurt, my heart ached, my throat was getting more and more restricting, lungs burning for air, but I couldn’t fully breathe, gasping for air caused by my violent sobs. But the wind was picking up again and my body started shivering, and I realized I couldn’t stand on the sidewalk anymore bawling my eyes out as I got drenched in rain.

So, I looked around and found a place open not too far up ahead and took off running towards it, trying to get the strands of hair out of my eyes as they stuck to my skin. The diner was small and still open, the big windows showed nobody inside besides the girl behind the counter. I didn’t consider the way I looked as I threw the door open and stepped inside, alerting the girl as the doorbell chimed. She looked up and for a second we stared at each other, her eyes widening as her eyes wandered all over my body, making me sniff. At least I wasn’t sobbing anymore, just heaving for air. I must’ve looked horrible as I took off towards a table in the back, closer to the restrooms, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel embarrassed over my appearance. I fell against the cushion of the bench and tried to regulate my breathing, biting my lower lip as I realized my eyes were burning and my skin was ice cold. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to stand out in the rain, when it was so cold. I would most definitely catch a cold now and that was the last thing I needed right now, but it was due to my own stupidity. I wiped my face with my hands, which were slightly shaking, as the girl from the counter came over.

“Uh,” She shuffled around awkwardly as I looked at her, “Can I bring you anything? Or uh, help with anything?”

A slap in the face to wake me up to reality would possibly be the biggest help she could be offering right now—but I thankfully didn’t say to her. She already looked uncomfortable by not knowing how to react to my current state. I sniffed and went to reach for my wallet before I would look at the menu, I had no idea how much money I had on me. But I quickly realized I had only grabbed my phone before leaving, sitting inside a diner never being in the plan. So instead I went to check on my phone if I had any money on my card, but my phone wasn’t working. Nothing. No matter how much I pressed the button to start it, it didn’t work. Fuck, I forgot to charge it before stepping outside.

“Uh,” Now I felt embarrassed as I averted my eyes from the girl, “I don’t have any money.”

“Oh,” She sounded surprised, “Well, then…I mean, I don’t want to sound rude, but uh—I will have to ask you to leave, really, I have nothing against you, it’s just that—”

“Don’t worry,” I forced myself to smile as I looked up at her, her cheeks red from embarrassment of having to kick me out, “I get it. May I use the restroom before I leave?”

“Sure, of course!” The girl almost exclaimed as she pointed towards the little hallway which led to the restrooms, “But we’ll be closing in about fifteen minutes, so don’t stay inside for too long.”

“Yeah, I’ll just patch myself up a bit and then go on my way.” I muttered as the girl nodded silently and walked back to the counter while carefully watching me, making me roll my eyes. Okay, I might have been looking like a mess, but I wasn’t a walking bomb—no need for her careful gaze on me. It just made my blood boil as I tried not to stomp while I went inside the restroom, glad that I was alone inside. It was colder in here compared to the diner and I shivered as I realized the window was open. I headed towards the sink, eager to warm up my hands with a little warm water, but I gasped once I saw my reflections in the mirror. Jesus Christ, I looked horrible, no wonder the girl was looking at me like that and asking me to leave—even if the reason was me not having money on me. My hair stuck to my face and looked matted in certain spots. My cheeks were completely flushed with the tip of my nose red as well, and I had dark streaks running down underneath my eyes. I forgot to take off my eyeliner and mascara before going to bed and since they weren’t waterproof—here I was, looking like a character straight out of a fucking horror movie. I chuckled as I turned on the faucet and instantly sighed at the feeling of warm water against my hands, warming my freezing limbs a bit. I quickly gathered water in my palms and splashed it against my cheeks, warming them up as well, sighing in content. I was still shivering, my toes frozen, but this was helping.

『I don't care enough to miss you

After all the shit we've been through

My heart's comatose, comatose』

I let the warm water run as I ran my fingers through my hair, easing the knots in them and trying to make it look presentable as I basically brushed the wet strands back on my head, my hair already curling naturally. The next step was to get rid of the mascara and eyeliner streaks underneath my eyes and even cheek, so I quickly washed them off before turning the faucet off and grabbing some dry towel paper from the holder, drying off my face and hands. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, realizing that my chest felt so much lighter, there was nothing squeezing against my throat anymore.

“You’re fine,” I whispered to myself, gulping, “Fuck, you’ve got this, you’re okay, Y/N, you are okay. You’ve been pushing your feelings away for too long, of course they blew up in your face, you stupid bitch. I really have to stop doing this to myself, ugh—”

I rolled my eyes as I threw the used towel paper in the trash bin and then looked back at myself in the mirror, narrowing my eyes at myself and pointing a finger threateningly at my reflection, “Stop being a sappy bitch, alright? You’re better than this. Yunho’s got his shit together, why can’t you do the same, huh? Just go out there and find a fucking boyfriend, it’s not that hard—wait, no, actually don’t do that! I don’t need no man, got it? Got it.”

I nodded once firmly, a small grin forcing itself onto my lips, making me scoff at myself—sure, of course, bring Yunho into your peptalk, Y/N, very smart—but I just couldn’t help it. At least I was feeling better now, almost laughing at myself at how stupid I was as I stepped back and pulled my shoulders back, nodding at myself encouragingly. I got this! But now I had to run home in the pouring rain, that thought alone was enough to make me cry again, but I willed myself to stop. No more crying. No more sobbing—especially not because of the pouring rain. It was my mistake that I didn’t check the weather or bring an umbrella. I should’ve just gone to bed when I planned to, damn these stupid thoughts. With a last glance at myself, I decided that I was ready to leave the restroom and head home, my mother probably worried sick about me at this point since my phone wasn’t working either. I walked up to the door and grabbed the doorknob firmly, yanking it open a little bit too enthusiastically, but as I went to step outside, the male’s restroom door right across mine opened as well—and I paused, surprised.

Song Mingi was staring back at me just as surprised as I was.

❱❱ Next chapter

[the-fiction-witch]

Now On Your Life

Media The Artful Dodger (Pre Show Release)

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Cute

I asked! and you little bats have answered! Jack is officially in!

And fun little celebration! this makes my 4000th tumblr post!

I hummed myself a little tune, as I strolled leisurely about the market from stall to stall. My Wicker basket in hand littered with items I had purchased and my small coin purse prepared to purchase more. Often I smiled at those working the stalls or other ladies like myself making their way around. I stopped to look over some eggs when a voice spoke up.

"Miss Y/l/n"

I didn't even need to glance over, I knew who it was, and unfortunately knew what he wanted.

"Dr Dawkins, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You missed an appointment"

"I wasn't aware I had an appointment" I smiled picking out my eggs and handing over the money taking my eggs and adding them to my basket

"Liar. You had an appointment and you know you did. This is the sixth time you've missed this"

"Ohh how tragic" I said moving to the next stall and looking over some fruits and veg

"You can't keep ignoring it"

"I'm not ignoring it"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not. I am simply not letting your butcher hands at me" I told him as I went on through the market with him following along behind me 

"If you don't let my hands at you you'll die"

"No, I won't"

"Ughhhh must you be so stubborn" 

"I do not need your madman butchering, I have my medicines"

"Ohh your herbal teas and lavender salt. That's not going to help you"

"It's kept me alive so far Dawkins" I said as I continued on with my shopping

"Will you listen to me. I've told you a hundred times you have to come and let me do something if you don't you're going to be in incredible pain"

"And?"

"And you know I don't want to see you in pain" 

"Don't you? you make money from people being in pain" I snapped as I hurried through the market "It is quite literally your business, so why would I trust you do to anything? You want me to be in pain so you make more money I understand the business of it all." but he grabbed my arm pulling me close 

"That doesn't mean I want to see it happen to someone I care about," He says "Now will you, Please come to the office and let me help you. It's a five-minute procedure maybe less."

"Not on your life." I snapped taking my arm away and heading away from the market through the town park to try and get home but he stopped me and turned me to face him 

"Y/n! You're natural cures and herbal remedies do a lot I will not deny that, and you've helped so many people that I couldn't help, but they can't fix this why can't you understand that? I know you're stubborn, I know you don't trust me, I know you think I'm a butcher just after my money, but I can't bear to think of the pain you'll be in, it'll break my heart to see you die knowing I could so easily have prevented it," He explained, "I'm a doctor, you can't expect me to stand by and let you kill yourself." 

"You know I can't"

"Free of charge then. Because it's you." he says "Please, I promise I'll take care of you. I'll be gentle, and make sure the office and all my tools are clean just for you. Just let me take care of you, Please y/n" 

"And what if it goes wrong?"

"It won't-"

"But if it does?"

"then I'll never forgive myself." He says, "Please just let me help little one" He says stroking my stomach

"Fine" I sighed "But the office is to be cleaned from top to bottom, all your equipment is to be cleaned and sanitized, you are to be fast and gentle, and you are in charge of taking care of me until I'm better"

"I think that's agreeable" He nods 

"And you're the one getting up every time he cries in the night for the first three months"

"One week"

"two months"

"One month"

"Deal" 

"Good girl" He smiled kissing my forehead "Now you finish the shopping I'll see you back at the house and we'll take care of this alright?"

"Alright. Now go and clean that office or I am not letting you do anything" I warn "You are not touching me unless those hands are clean and there is nothing under your nails" 

"Yes darling" He rolled his eyes, and he gave my hand a kiss and then my stomach "You take care of little one, I'll see you later" He said heading back home.