#proportions and some stuff are definitely off from how i imagine them but i am limited in artistic ability and also resources lol

[aceironwood]

Here’s a look at the original concept I did for Chae-Yeong in the age swap! I drew this on my phone, so I didn’t include her head/hair since there was no way I was gonna be able to make that look good lol

[millipede-menace]

The bands back together! And they’re old lol

Art Notes/Rants below ⬇️

⚠️Warning⚠️

it is very long, I got a lot to say apparently lol

❗️They’re all aged up btw! In case you’re all wondering why i’m even redesigning them lol

🐱Chizu Mini Rant: I hate Chizu’s design in the show. Not the clothing more so the body model. I hate that they made her the stereotypical curvy cat girl with a tiny hourglass waist and tiny hands and feet. Really weird proportions, Like we’re going back to the betty boop era but no one else in the show looks like this? (Also, No hate to people who are curvy btw love you) It just doesn’t feel like it belongs in the show. Maybe if she were shorter, it would work better? Idk Also she’s like the only one in a full skin tight suit (like I get animation, but they didn’t even bother giving her implied loose clothes or armor like the other ninjas? Maybe bc she was undercover? but then she should’ve been wearing something closer to the bg character models) It’s like they’re trying to make her sexy but like why?????? for why????

I really liked the concept art of Chizu. She’s got a more sharp/rigid and square silhouette but still some curves (w/o it being weird). She still has tiny hands but her head isn’t the size of a watermelon and her face isn’t super tiny, the proportions are good. She’s all power stanced up lol She looks mean and menacing, someone not to trust or mess with. It’s literally spot on. ✨chef kiss ✨ It’s also probably why they didn’t really go with it, they probably rounded her out to be more appealing for the reveal? or she was hard to animate cause she did have baggier pants idk. Who am I, but a rando with a hard boiled egg for brains.

Art Notes: I took a lot of inspiration from the comics and I did want to keep her iconic red so she was still recognizable & stand out from the neko ninja. I made her a regular black cat! (with the idea of black cats being less likely to be adopted & be strays) (;-;) (I know she was kidnapped but still!! The stray cat vibes!!!) I gave her a more lean and tall figure, kinda like the comics but also to play off of Kistune’s height and it give scrawny stray cat vibes . . . again lol. It’s also a body shape I don’t see a lot in physically strong female characters (or maybe I do and just don’t remember? Idk but she can definitely kick your ass & she’s not here for anybody’s bullshit lol) I gave her the iconic ponytail from the comics along with the comb Kitsune usually wears. I wanted to give her green eyes (bc black cat & red and green) but i just kept them yellow. Maybe i’ll go back and change them. Her outfit is mostly inspired from Karai (bc she’s a ninja from eons ago & the gang is a little more traditional) just (pretend cuz i’m lazy) with traditional Japanese patterns. Chizu definitely got kunais and stars up her sleeves, but bc she doesn’t have to be a ninja anymore, I imagine her more into wearing pretty dresses with patterns and cute things. Stuff she never got to wear/ enjoy as a kid, you know. The show really wants to push her to be a bad ass girl boss who hates everyone and everything and is too cool and edgy for games but idk. I like to think she left the ninja stuff behind her and started living her own life based on exploring things rather than just being the cool ninja with an edgy backstory. I think she uses ninjitsu as a means of self defense but doesn’t like being connected to it b/c of the kidnapping and stuff. (We also see how she doesn’t really care about the tradition of ninjitsu cause during the show, she has no fucking clue what to do with the neko ninja, she just wanted them to stop hurting people and wanted to free the babies lol) Usagi and Kitsune are the ones who indulge her childish side. She wears a lot of red but her favorite color is pink. Kitsune def hypes her up and goes feral when she wears pink.

🦊 Kitsune Mini Rant: I hate Kitsune’s clothes in the show. Idk it just doesn’t look right on her. It’s got no shape it’s got no hiding spots for stolen goods. It’s not Kitsune. I like the concept art fit, it’s really cute. (She looks like a mini tank who will fuck you up in a cute way) but still #1 thing missing. Hiding spots for stolen goods!!! She needs some loose sleeves or flowy clothing like in the comics. (btw: I know it would be harder to animate in the show therefore I accept what they gave her but still!!!)

Art Notes: I’m not too sure about Kitsune’s fit tbh. I’m still workshopping it. She just needs something with loose sleeves! (Like she for sure is stealing shit and putting it up her sleeves, you can’t tell me i’m wrong/ it’s also where she could keep her fans!) I think i’m obsessed with her sleeves cause I imagine her gambling or playing a game of cards with a bunch of dangerous criminals and someone accuses her of cheating and she goes “What?! Me?! No, no. I’m just that good or maybe . . . you’re just that bad-” Then all the stolen cards fall out her sleeves and she just goes -fuck. and it turns into this picture vvv

ANYWAYS!!!! I gave her short hair bc idk, a girls gotta change it up sometime 💅 I actually liked her hair mimicking a fox tail but I feel like she would get bored of it and chop it all off one day. She's definitely the one who cuts and dye’s her hair at 1am then cries about it the next day. She’s got visibly longer ears and sharper face. Kitsune and Usagi wanted to get piercings together cause they’re besties and want to be edgy (she lowkey got it on her left ear to match Chizu) and so they did and Usagi’s Auntie was so PISSED lol. They got chewed out. Her hands and feet should be a little darker but i forgor. Also she’s got dark teal wrappings so it would be hard to tell anyways. I gave her the crop top with buttons from the concept art and the sleeves from the comic. They have the same maple leaf print from her comic too (i’m just lazy) and the cuffs are just lined to mimic the layers she had. She’s got her little pack, she’s also got some more smaller ones on the back (kinda like Leo). She also made a comment about not having money to buy herself shoes so . . . she’s got no shoes lol. It just wrappings under her shin guards. (no shoes just like Leo smh) It helps her be more sneaky tho >:)

Oh and they’re dating but i feel like that’s a given lol. I saw people shipping them at first and it literally went -> *sees ship* Oh they’re shipping the only two main female characters together again- yeah that’s greeeat- *Watches the show* oh. nvm I retract my sarcasm, they’re def gay for each other, thats nice. This is nice -w-

which is pretty funny, cause I think they don't like each other in the comics? (from what I saw in the singles panels I used as a reference at least) Chizu’s legit ready to kill Kitsune lol

Post Note: I totally forgot Chizu chose a bow and arrow as a weapon so now she’s just the stereotypical tall archer . . . i’m gonna go now ;-;

Gen Mini Rant: Holy Moly dudes, he was sooooo hard to draw ;-; I don't hate his design at all, actually it's one I like the most. I just don't like that there's not a lot of contrast on the 3D model and he kind just blends into a purple blob. (for me at least) I defiantly didn't do him justice but that's the best it's gonna get (from me that is.)

Art Notes: Don't look the feet . . . for any of them but mostly Gen lol. I don't really like the purple I chose but every color combo I did just looked bad idk. I can't do color, don't look at me man. Me and purple do not mix. He's still a bounty hunter so I wanted to keep his armor but I wanted him to have a long tail-coat/cape-ish jacket cause he would look cool as hell with one of those >:) (prob not practical but still) I wanted to add elbow and knee pads, but he's a rhino, he can take it. Also how can bad guys hurt him if he's too busy beating them up with his brass knuckles? He's still got his clubs but he likes clanging his fists together. lol His horn grew back! He's also got a goatee and everyone makes fun of him. The gang always threatens to shave it off in his sleep. I took more inspo from the show than the comic cause I don't really know Gen in the comics and what I did find was just miyamoto usagi but purple ;-; (clothes wise)

I wasn’t kidding, I had a lot to say, any survivors?

Feel free to suggest or critic my designs!! :0 Im not a design person and its mostly just for fun, but i looooove hearing people’s takes, especially hot takes >:) i like poking brains, its fun ^^

[cherrytea556]

Are these signs/symptoms of neurodivergence?

I'm questioning if im neurodivergent (like autism or something) and i want to know if these are sign/symptoms of it based on my experience;

I tend to notice how i always tend to move in repeat (spinning, rocking back and force, bouncing leg, doing step to step etc...).

I make little eye contact with people. Now i am capable of making eye contact (even if it feels a bit off) though thats a habit i always have.

I dont know how to explain things in my head, i have the idea but i dont seem to know how to actually explain what it is and comes like idk, choppy? Definitely not well, thats for sure. Same with writing like now.

I tend to notice that sometimes i dont understand basic stuff like when my parents asked me to do something in a direction, im confused on what direction they meant until they point it out or a question my friend asked on how much i eat (a lot or little), i try to explain it in my own way because i thought it was in general but it was actually just food on one plate. She wonders why it was harder for me to answer since it was suppose to be a easy question, to which im also questioning as well.

I'm not good at communication. I try to with questions and stuff but i dont think i can have a long conversation unless the other person wants to talk about stuff (and even then i wonder what input i would give). Comforting is also hard for me since i want to make sure that im doing it right for my friends though i dont know how, again i try, and i do understand them if their upset about something, i just don't know how to exactly comfort them.

I use to have poor coordination when i was younger, whether its bumping into things or spraining/hurting my foot, my coordination wasnt up to standard to say the least. It got better as time went on though i find that I cant walk a straight line, its always a bit to the left or right.

I have a forgetful memory. I tend to forget things from my childhood from a large proportion or i have such vivid memories of them but i cant be specific at explaining it. This is also why i have trouble at school at times because whenever a video is playing and we have to write during the video playing, im worried that i wouldnt catch on and answer nothing.

I dont understand comedy and how to do it, im often the last one to get the joke (which is why i probably wont write a comedy, instead focusing on characters and how they bounce off each other)

People tend to tell me that i either talk loudly or quietly even when i dont notice it (especially being loud)

I dont sit properly. I notice that i dont sit regularly most of the time

I repeat stuff like pulling the jacket sleeves to my hands or just generally repeat something if i feel like its not right. Also when i was young, i use to repeat things characters say a lot of the time which faded but hasnt completely stopped)

I dont know if its sensory issues or something but i hate kissing noises, i always tend to swat it away like its a fly

I used (and still do) have weird visions, i dont want to describe them but they were definitely odd. I also notice that i view myself as random characters from media, not that i think i am the character but when im talking, i imagine myself as the character as im talking randomly if that makes sense

I laugh even if i don't actually find it funny

I took online tests and most of the answers were that i have moderate symptoms/chance of autism (not to self diagnose of course, just questioning)

I use to walk around in circles daily when i was in primary and i still do (just not around the whole room/in the oval this time lol)

For some reason, i dont have energy to do things like there was work for health yesterday and i finished it all except for one which isnt hard to answer exactly but i didnt have the energy to do it for some reason. It's very hard to do stuff if your brain just randomly has nothing (which happens at times)

I will play a movie multiple times in the background for some reason, it could just be a decent enough film and my brain will just make me repeat it as background noise (the knives out franchise, 7 women and a murder and now its death of 2021) This should be taken a grain of salt since it could just be things neurotypical people do as well

I dont think i have a special interest though when im really interested in stuff i found, i would look into it and want to share that info (like a creators unknown controversy or a random person i never heard of before having a tumblr call out blog about them) Im just really interested in odd things in general. I also regularly look at specific blogs/tags on tumblr daily like its a thing in my routine lol

I cannot make new friends (similar with communication but in a more general sense) i just dont know how, theirs students that nice to me but i dont know how to make them my friend per say (i dont connect with my year group that much tbh)

I think thats all I have, any answer to this is welcomed

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Subaru Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in front of the gate to the Demon World

Yui: ( I can get to the Demon World...By passing through this door. I’m sure I’d be able to meet up with Subaru-kun there, right? )

( I’m sure the Demon World has its own risks but...As long as I can reunite with Subaru-kun, I’m sure I’ll be fiーー )

*Creaaaak*

Yui: !

Subaru: You...!

Yui: Subaru-kun!?

Subaru: Knowing you, I had a hunch you’d come after me...Guess I hit the nail on the head, huh...?

Yui: Subaru-kun...Did you come and get me, perhaps?

Subaru: ...Don’t be gettin’ the wrong idea now! You see...I’m only here ‘cause I was worried ‘bout the house.

Yui: ...Fufu~

Subaru: Whatcha laughin’ for!?

Yui: Sorry. I felt so relieved as soon as I saw your face, I couldn’t help myself.

It was quite scary by myself after all...

So I’m glad you’re here.

Subaru: Hmph. Look at you grinning. ...Let’s get goin’ already.

Yui: Yeah.

( Subaru-kun...He really did come for me, didn’t he? )

( My anxiety is fading, almost as if I was never worried at all. )

( To think I can feel this way just from being together...I must really love him after all. )

Subaru: Oi, don’t be takin’ your sweet time ...Geez, when are you gonna wipe that grin off your face?

Yui: ...Coming! (1)

ー The scene shifts to the forest in the Demon World

Yui: ...It’s pitch black, huh?

Subaru: That’s ‘cause the lunar eclipse is ongoing. It’s gonna be like this for quite some time.

Yui: ( Which means it’ll be dark the whole time? Seems rather depressing. It’s a little scary as well... )

Subaru: ...

*Rustle*

Yui: Subaru-kun...?

( He grabbed my hand... )

Subaru: ...I’ll hold your hand like this.

Don’t look so worried. There’s honestly nothin’ for you to be scared ‘bout.

...I’m here with you, remember?

Yui: Subaru-kun...

Subaru: So make sure to stick by my side as well, ‘kay?

Yui: Yeah, gotcha. I’ll be right besides you the whole time. 

Subaru: ...I didn’t say ‘the whole time!’. It’d just be annoyin’ if you were to be glued to my side 24/7.

Yui: ...Would that be a nuisance? 

Subaru: When did I say that!? ...Fuck!

You should just stop rackin’ your brain over lil’ things and be with me, that’s all!

Yui: Yes!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall of the Sakamaki castle

Yui: What a lovely place...This is you guys’ house, right?

( Or castle, I should say... )

Subaru: Oi, don’t wander off. Father’s power is protectin’ the place from any outside threats, but even inside there’sーー

ー Approaching footsteps can be heard

Yui: ( Somebody’s here...? )

???: ...

Yui: ( A woman...? )

( She’s beautiful...Although she seems oddly familiarーー )

Subaru: ーー Mom.

Yui: Eh...?

( She’s Subaru-kun’s mother!? )

Christa: ...Oh my?

Yui: ( Ah, our eyes met... )

Christa: How unusual. A guest...?

Subaru: ...

Christa: !!

Yui: ( Eh...? Her expression changed...? )

Christa: No...Stop!! Stay away!!

Yui: Eh...? U-Um...

Christa: Stay away from me!!

Subaru: Che...Oi! Is nobody ‘round!?

Familiar A: Yes!

Christa: Stop! Don’t touch me!! Let me go!!

Familiar A: Ma’am! Please, follow me this way...!

ー Christa is escorted away

Yui: ...

Subaru: ...Haah...

Yui: Subaru-kun...That woman just now...

Subaru: ...She’s my mother...

She hadn’t been actin’ that way as of late...So what happened?

Yui: Perhaps the lunar eclipse is affecting her...?

Subaru: ...You might be right.

Yui: ( The eclipse makes Vampires emotionally unstable, doesn’t it? Is his mother experiencing something similar...? )

Subaru: Haah...

Yui: ( Subaru-kun seems exhausted. Although I can’t blame him after his mother spoke to him in such a way... )

( It must hurt, regardless if she’s being affected by the eclipse or not... )

Subaru: Oi. Let’s just get you to your room for now.

Yui: Sure.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Subaru: ...

ー Yui walks up to him

Yui: Subaru-kun?

Subaru: ...All settled in?

Yui: Yeah. Thanks. I can’t believe you had a room prepared even though I came uninvited.

Subaru: If you need anythin’ else, just ask one of the Familiars. They should be able to arrange most stuff.

Yui: Gotcha.

...Are you okay, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: ...How so?

Yui: I’m worried you might be taking what your mother said to heart.

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( She went through a lot...to the point of no longer being able to live by herself, didn’t she? )

( Worried about her well-being, Subaru-kun would go check up on her every now and then. )

( However, with the lunar eclipse ongoing...I wonder if she’s even more unstable than usual? )

...I’m sure it’ll get better once the eclipse has passed.

( This is pretty much all I can say... )

Subaru: ...Yui. Come here for a sec.

Yui: Sure.

Subaru: Take a seat.

Yui: ...? Okay.

Subaru: Lend me your shoulder. ...Even just for a lil’ bit.

Yui: Eh...?

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Your hand’s so tiny and slender...Yet it’s strangely comfortin’...”

“When I imagine something might happen to you...I nearly lose my mind. Stay by my side, okay?”

Yui: Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: ...I’m glad you’re here. Just by doin’ this, I feel like some weight has been taken off my mind. 

Yui: ...

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...What’s your deal?

Yui: ( ...He seemed down, so my hand subconsciously moved to pat his head... )

You didn’t like it?

Subaru: ...I never said that.

Yui: ( ...It must be hard. To have your own family push you away in such a way. )

( She seemed normal when our eyes met though... )

Subaru: Haah...

Yui: Hey, Subaru-kun? You don’t have to push yourself in front of me.

If you’re worried about your mother, I’ll do everything I can to help as well. 

Think about it, a stranger might have a better shot at getting through to her...

Subaru: Don’t think ‘bout it. I can’t let you do that.

She can get extremely violent when she snaps. You might get hurt if you’re near her.

Yui: But...The Lunar Eclipse makes her unstable, doesn’t it? In which case it might be better to have someone there by her side.

Subaru: Even if that were the case, there’s no reason you should carry that burden.

Yui: Burden, you say...

I just want you to cheer up, that’s all.

Subaru: ...

...Don’t come cryin’ to me afterwards.

Yui: Don’t worry. She’s your mother after all.

Subaru: ...You fool.

Yui: I hope the Eclipse will come to an end soon.

Subaru: They last long here. It won’t be over any time soon.

Yui: I see. You said that before, didn’t you?

Subaru: Yeah. That’s why they’re even more annoyin’.

Yui: I wonder if you’re letting me dote on you because of the Lunar Eclipse as well.

Subaru: Haah!? Dote on who!? 

Yui: I mean, usually you’d get upset if I were to pat your head like this, no?

Subaru: ...Then, should I get upset now?

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: ‘Cause you keep spoutin’ bullshit...I’ve become thirsty for your blood.

I’ll suck you harshly like usual.

Yui: ...But you’re always gentle, you know?

Subaru: I’m not. ...I won’t be kind with you.

ー Subaru bites her

Subaru: Hah, nn...Nn...

Yui: Uu...

Subaru: Nn...Phew...

Hah...Oi, Yui. Tell me as soon as somethin’ happens, ‘kay?

Yui: ...Of course.

( See? He really is gentle after all... )

*TIMESKIP*

Christa: ーー Nii-sama!! Where my dearest cousin!? (2)

Yui: !?

ー Yui wakes up in her room

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: That voice just now...!? 

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah...You woke up as well, Subaru-kun? The person shouting earlier...

Subaru: ...It was mom’s voice.

Yui: I wonder if something happened...? I’m worried so I’ll go take a look.

Subaru: You’re actually gonna look after her?

Yui: I mean...I can’t just turn a blind eye either.

ー Yui walks towards the door

Subaru: Ah, oi!

ー She leaves the room

Subaru: ...Will she be okay...?

ー The scene shifts to the library

Christa: Aah, why!? Why won’t anyone come!?

...Nii-sama...

*Knock knock*

ー Yui enters the library

Yui: Um, pardon the intrusion.

Christa: ...! You...

Yui: I could hear your voice so...Um, are you okaーー

Christa: Cordelia!?

Yui: Eh?

Christa: Cordelia...! Why are you here...?

Yui: ( Cordelia...? The name of the triplets’ mother...? Is she mistaking me for her, perhaps? )

Christa: Aah, Cordelia...I pity you as well.

I find it surprising you have stuck around this castle for so long. Do you still believe he loves you?

Yui: U-Um...

Christa: But I know. That is...a horrible misunderstanding. 

There is no love to speak of. Both you and me...We’re only being used by that man.

Yui: ( Used...? )

ー Subaru approaches them

Yui: Ah, Subaru-kuーー

Christa: ...!! No way! You’re here again!?

*Woosh*

Subaru: Ugh...Oi, cut it out!

Christa: No, don’t take one step closer!!

*Woosh*

Christa: Don’t show me your face!! Keep those filthy hands off me...!!

*Woosh*

Yui: ( ...! She threw a lamp at him...! )

Subaru-kun!

Subaru: Wha...Idiot! Don’t step in!

*THUD*

*Shatter*

Yui: Ow...!

Subaru: Yui!!

You fool...! You’re bleeding!

Yui: I’m fine...More importantly, your mother...

Subaru: ‘Fine’, my ass! Let’s get outta here!

*Rustle*

ー Subaru drags her away back to their room

Subaru: ...Has it stopped bleedin’?

Yui: Yeah. I’m fine now.

Subaru: Doesn’t it hurt?

Yui: It was just a scratch.

Subaru: Really? You’re a chick...and a human one at that. Shouldn’t you like disinfect it or somethin’?

Yui: You’re way too much of a worrywart, Subaru-kun. This kind of small injury will heal quickly, even when you’re human.

( Thank god one of the shards just lightly scraped my skin. Subaru-kun didn’t get hurt either. )

Subaru: ...

...You shouldn’t be here after all.

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: If you stay here, you’ll definitely get hurt again. I’m gonna get you back to the human world before that happens.

We’re leavin’ at once. Before mom becomes even more crazyーー

Yui: W-Wait, Subaru-kun! You’re blowing this way out of proportion!

The skin’s just a little scraped, so I promise you I’m fine. Don’t worry, okay?

Subaru: ...

Christa: Hurry up and bring Nii-sama to me! I am waiting!!

Subaru: ...Let’s step outside. You’re comin’ with me.

Monologue

Along the way after we left the manor,

I told Subaru-kun about what happened earlier.

That Christa-san,

had called me ‘Cordelia’. 

Yui: She seems to have the wrong idea.

Subaru: ーー About you?

Yui: Yeah. Seems like she thinks that I’m Cordelia. ...I wonder why?

Subaru: ...It just proves she’s not in her right mind, no? Did she say anythin’ else?

Yui: Um...Ah, right...

Subaru: What?

Yui: She said that...She’s being used by someone. 

Subaru: Used...? The fuck?

Yui: I don’t know myself but...According to her, so was Cordelia.

Subaru: I don’t get it...Oi, Yui. You should stop botherin’ with her as well.

Yui: But...She seemed calm when I was with her.

( Or rather, that might have been Cordelia’s influence... )

Subaru: ...I know she loses it as soon as she spots me.

Looking at it that way...It might be better if I wasn’t ‘round her.

Yui: Subaru-kun. Don’t put it like that. 

Subaru: ...It bothers me. It seems very likely you’ll get hurt if we stay here any longer. 

She may be my mom...But I’m not lettin’ her harm you.

Yui: ...Thank you, Subaru-kun.

But because she is your mother, I want to get on well with her.

Subaru: ...Che...Why are you so persistent...?

Yui: Because I loーー

Subaru: ...Nevermind, don’t say it! You’re just gonna spout weird shit again, aren’t you!?

...Fine. Do as you please. However, there’s one condition!

Whenever you’re with her, make sure I can jump in to save you at all times, ‘kay?

Don’t let yourself be alone with her in a private room. That’s the condition.

I’ll protect you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.

Yui: ( I’m pretty sure he doesn’t need to be that worried... )

( This just proves how concerned he is about me...as well as Christa-san, right? )

Yeah, sure. Thank you, Subaru-kun.

( ...I hope that one day, the three of us will all be able to sit down together for a nice chat... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Yui simply responds with うん! which would be ‘yeah!’ or ‘sure!’ in English. However, that didn’t quite make sense as a response to his question in the translation, so I adapted it a little. 

(2) 兄様 or ‘nii-sama’ is literally an affectionate or highly formal way to refer to one’s older brother. However, it is not uncommon in Japan for the word ‘nii-san’ or ‘nii-sama’ to be extended and used for elder, male people (whether other family members or even random strangers) by those who are younger than them. I did a quick Google search on the ‘calling your cousin onii-san’ topic in specific and found multiple responses of native speakers who admitted to doing this. 

To avoid confusion and since ‘my dearest cousin’ is a bit long for my liking to use repeatedly, I will simply use ‘Nii-sama’ in my translation.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Sakamaki Prologue ] [ Dark 01 ] ->

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine dating Jensen and never having told him you knew who he was and what his job was, or that you had a crush on him. So when he finds out he gets mad and a fight ensues.

“Honey, can you please check to see if there are any empty boxes left on the-”

“None.” Jensen cut you off with a small smirk, leaning against the door frame and chuckling when he saw you startle and let out a small yelp when you realized he was there.

“Jens!” you exclaimed, hand over your heart “You scared me, how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” he grinned, getting closer to you “Long enough to admire the view and maybe- certainly fall in love with you just a little bit more, unbelievably possible you see, and that adorable face you make when going through your...” he looked over your shoulder at the things in your hands “Childhood memories I see! Wow that's some real talent there, is that-” he tilted his head to the side, looking at your childhood drawing “Is that a... kitty or a shark?”

“Shut up.” you said with a small pout, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks from the embarrassment, but at the same time unable to hold a small laugh when Jensen ticked your sides before wrapping his arms around your middle and sitting down next to you on the bed “And to answer your question... I think it's supposed to be both. My favorite animals from land and sea, you see, because of how adorable and dangerous they can both be.”

“Dangerous and adorable, wow, that's a way to think about those two. Ok.” he pursed his lips for a second, nodding his head “Remind me to have a serious talk with you about your childhood memories and concepts of cute when we decide to have kids, yeah? I'm scared I will walk into a nursery painted a deep shade of black because you think it's a lovely color.”

“Alright first-” you raised a finger to stop him before he could say anything else “Black is a lovely color and if you have anything against it then we really need to have a serious discussion about that otherwise I am afraid I can't move in with you at all. Not to mention that I think that puts our relationship in danger on its own. So you either prepare yourself for the endless amount of black outfits I have or otherwise-”

“No! No, totally fine with black. Lovely color, totally.” he shook his head immediately and you chuckled, leaning on him more.

“And as for the second-” your voice took on a softer tone as you looked up to lock eyes with his and offer him a soft smile, almost reassuring when you saw the panic in his eyes no wonder because he had previous slipped and didn't expect you to catch it “I always loved the idea of a yellow or light green one, or maybe both. Doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, or both.” you chuckled and a beautiful smile started spreading on his lips “Though don't look so cheerful, honey, because if it is twins I am going to be making your life a living hell until labor, mind my words!”

“I'll gladly take it all, sweetheart. All of it.” he leaned down to kiss your lips with a smile on “But I'm definitely on bedtime-story duty because I still don't trust you with it.”

You scoffed, giving him a playful shove “Some kind of boyfriend you are. If you must know sharks are a very important part of the ecosystem and they are endangered species. We must love and protect them and-”

“Alright, National geographic-” he said fondly “You can continue later with the info. In case you didn't notice, we've got a moving to make and you have a lot of things that need to go into boxes yet. Keep it up like this and you won't be moving into my house until next month.”

“And what a tragedy that would be.” you chuckled “I do have a lot of things to go through, though, some of which need throwing away, so it will take time. You said anything about the boxes?”

“Ah yes the boxes, there are none left in the house whatsoever, I ended up using a lot for the kitchen. Seems like we're gonna have to find some new ones. But that doesn't stop us from going through the things you need and the ones you plan on throwing away together yeah? Who knows what kind of interesting stuff I might find out.” he smirked and you scoffed a laugh.

“Underwear drawer is right up there honey, that's probably the only thing that can get as interesting as you expect. There's nothing much here, some stuff from my childhood, teenage years and probably some from 4 to 5 years ago.”

“Bummer.” he huffed, moving towards some other smaller shoe boxes that he expected to hold childhood stuff like the rest “Well, you look at the creepy childhood art then, while I go through this for once. If they're ok, we can move it as it already-”

“No wait, Jens that's not for-” you started, jumping on your feet to stop him, but it was already too late because the box was already open right in front of him in a matter of seconds.

“-is.” he added half a second after you, and as the frown on his face deepened he added “Wh-what- What is this?”

“Just- old stuff. Nothing worth noting.” you didn't keep your eyes on the posters, DVDs and rest of Supernatural merch that was in the box.

“Is this yours? (Y/n) is this yours?”

“I uh-” you cleared your throat, feeling your hands shake when you noticed that his jaw had clenched as well “Uh well... yes, it's in my house. Of course, b-but- It's old stuff I even had forgotten I had there. R-really not something you should concern yourself with. Let's- let's not waste time on them, yeah?” you asked tentatively, hating how your voice shook a bit but hoping he still wouldn't notice, as you tried to close the box as subtly as possible “It's just silly little things, and we have to go through so much already that-”

“And when did you get these?” he asked, cutting you off immediately; voice very deep and almost accusing and you really couldn't hold it against him when it was about something like this.

You had no secrets from him, never lied or tried to deceive him. It was a honest relationship from your side concerning both your feelings and actions, and same went for him too. From the moment you started going out officially, you didn't want anything between the two of you. It was how you had managed to make it last for so long, how to make it matter. But that didn't mean that there were no secrets between you at all, ones built up before it all became real between you two, before a relationship bloomed.

You had never told him you knew him when you met. Opting to pretend to not know about the show or who he was and what he did as a profession was an impulsive decision that at the time made things so much more simple but in the end you grew to regret. It had been easier to be around each other, to just be yourself – fangirl side, at least concerning Supernatural, set aside at least – and treat him like another human being defined by his personality and not job. And he had liked it, he admitted it months later when he told you about his job, more than he ever thought he would have. It was important to him to be treated like any other person, for you to see him as him and so you didn't have the heart to ruin it.

It was a white lie at first, simple as that, and you had meant to tell him the truth when one month turn into six turned into a year and you were together. But as the relationship got more serious and as you were more certain he needed to know, the more scared you were for him to know as well and each time you tried to tell him, you ended up backing away on it.

And now it wasn't simply just another white lie, it was a secret you had let stay between you and grow to proportions you couldn't control anymore. You feared it would make or break you if he ever found out, so much so that you wished he never had to. Sadly it seemed like you wouldn't be getting it.

“I think I might even get rid of it all, or give it away, it would be a little silly to hold onto these when-” you started speaking, hoping you could do your best at keeping your voice steady and avoiding having to answer. While you had showed your love for the show, you had never said out loud just when that love started.

“(Y/n)” his voice was rough as he cut you off, maybe more than you'd like but thankfully less than you had originally feared “When did you get these?”

“Well, I-” you fidgeted with your fingers, trying to master all your courage to look up to meet his eyes, not even having realized when you looked down “It's not really a big kind of de-”

“Answer me!” he was downright furious and once more you could never blame him for it because you knew you'd feel the exact same if you were in his place.

His voice raised, and while you didn't know what sounded more angry and scary this or him keeping a low voice, you couldn't help but flinching simply as a reflex. When you opened your eyes again you saw the regret instantly flash through his eyes and despite how mad he was for you to hide the truth, you could see that he didn't want to ever make you feel anything but comfortable around him. You would have told him that it was alright, that you would never be scared of him for real when you saw that he was ready to start apologizing profoundly, but instead you opted for something else entirely.

“A good few years.” you tried to look as determined as possible, but still holding a small smile; whether it was out of nervousness or the need to show him you were alright you didn't know yet “As in, a good few years even before I met you in person. I knew about the show a-and I knew about you, and that you were an actor before we met.”

“So when we met, you...” the frown on his face was deep as he looked down, his anger slowly but surely being replaced by sadness and disappointment and you actually wished for a second that he could stay mad at you instead of this; instead of the way his voice lowered “You lied to me? And you kept lying about it?”

“Jens-” you started, trying to swallow over the lump in your throat “I had no choice. I was a fan of the show for a good couple years, yes, and I don't think you'll be surprised at this point to know I might have also had a crush on you and Dean back then as well.” your breath came out shaky as you looked away “But then I met you... you were there, real, and it felt like I couldn't believe it. You took that as me not recognizing you and you- you relaxed right away and I-”

“You lied to me.” he emphasized, probably not even having heard your last sentence as he spoke over you, and again with very little anger and more pain “You lied, (Y/n), and then- and then you never told me the truth. We've been together for over a year now, we've known each other for over two years- Over two years you had every chance to tell me the truth, especially when we promised each other there would be no secrets between us and you- you kept the biggest and most important one from me! I can't believe this.” he shook his head, pacing in the room “You let me believe that lie for years, let out relationship be built on that. How could you? Why would you ever do something like this to me? Did you take pleasure in it at first or what? Was it some sort of game?”

“I-” you wrapped your arms around your middle and pressed your lips together, avoiding to let your eyes linger on him even for a couple extra seconds because of how much it hurt to see this kind of expression on his face; and you knew there were no excuses to undo it so you only said what you felt and had been feeling for so long.

“I only ever wanted you to be happy. I wanted you... us to feel like equals. You looked so relieved to see that I was so taken with you and not your job or your character that I didn't have the heart to ruin it to you. And I- I was selfish, yes, because I had never seen a man look at me like that, treat me so good, love me so much that I didn't want it to end. To feel real love for the first time in my life, I had to take that risk. And I'm sorry if I let you down when all I wanted was to give you my heart and soul. I guess I was right in my first thoughts during our first dates... I could never be good enough for you and here is the proof. I'm-” you looked down, fighting the tears “I'm sorry for everything, I'll just get all the boxes we've moved from your house the soonest possible. It's a good thing I haven't packed everyth-”

“What?” you could hear the gasp coming from his lips but didn't pay much attention to it mostly to not get your hopes up.

“Must've been a sign that there were no boxes huh? Well, I better start unpacking cause I've got-”

You started making your way to the door, you believed that there was no doubt that Jensen wouldn't even want to see you at the moment, but before you could even take another step out, you felt a hand on your arm pulling you back followed by a gruff “No”

“Jens” you whispered “I understand that this hurt you. There's not reason-”

“No reason for what?” his voice was more rough than before and you didn't dare look up at him yet “For you to move in with me? For us to be together? Is that what you want?”

“I don't want it. Of course not!” you shut your eyes tightly, just as his hand squeezed your arm “Gosh, I only want you but I- I ruined it all, Jens. And you can't forgive me, if I were you I wouldn't either. That kind of lie is- unforgivable, so you'd have every right to want to-”

“Don't-” he sounded like he almost choked on his tears and you couldn't help your eyes this time, they were drawn to him and it was then that you felt the gasp leave from your own lips; looking into his red-rimmed eyes and the heartbreak on his face was worse than when he realized the lie, something which was probably the least of his concerns at the moment and once you realized it you felt a hopeful skip in the beat in your heart “Don't you even dare say that. I-” he pursed his lips and groaned, closing his eyes for a second.

You reached out tentatively and cupped his cheek, unable to hold your smile when he melted in your touch and nuzzled his face in your palm; after only a second he leaned in and rested his forehead against yours “I'm angry. Gosh, I am so angry at both of us but it's only a mere fragment... it's nothing compared to the fear I feel of losing you. I should stay mad, hell, I am going to make you pay for that with lots of food and makeup sex but-” he managed a chuckle, an actual chuckle and you grinned “But I would be a hypocrite to stay mad at only you and, even worse, the world's biggest idiot if I were to let you go because of this. Lies be damned, the world be damned... I am not going to lose you. I never want to lose you. That scares the hell out of me, so... don't.”

“So that means... we're ok? Together I mean?” you asked slowly and hesitantly.

He took a deep breath in and looked you fully in the eyes “I would never dream of letting you go. Never over something like this.”

“And about... moving together?”

He nodded his head skeptically for a moment “Well that... that will depend.”

“On what?” you let a small smile form on your lips only because of the smirk he had on that you knew real well and yet made you wonder.

“Just how much smut have you read about me and my character and even more... how much have you written out of it?”

“Jensen!”

[pyroclastic727]

Luz is kinda right to be oblivious

I know you all are relentlessly teasing Luz for being completely oblivious to Amity’s clear romantic advances. And while you definitely have a point, Luz isn’t entirely wrong to do this. Luz’s assumption that her and Amity are just friends is her way of protecting herself and Amity.

Let’s start by laying out the scenario from Luz’s POV. You’re a human from another realm who visits a magic realm. There you meet a bunch of amazing people, but one lettuce-headed blushy mess sticks out to you. You start doing all these favors for her, things you would only do for Eda and King in the past. She returns a few of them. Then she starts getting comfortable around you, where she feels good enough to hug you and stuff. Well, then there’s this dance, and she doesn’t ask you out, and she feels bad because she’s afraid of being rejected by the person she does want to ask out. 

Well, duh, of course Amity likes her! But Luz has quite a few things to disprove that.

First off, we’ll start with the psychology that makes this possible. (This is what happens when the analysis blog takes a psych class). There’s this thing called confirmation bias, which I’d say a good proportion of you are familiar with. For those that aren’t: if you have a preconceived opinion, you’re more likely to look for things that support that, rather than those that disprove it. Everyone uses this all the time. Usually it’s fairly harmless, but when in the wrong hands, it is a powerful tool that can be used to influence elections and such.

In Luz’s case, her confirmation bias comes from good evidence. Any wlw who has actually lived on Earth knows that it’s dangerous to assume your friend likes you. First off, there’s the selfish aspect of it (you know, the “who am I to assume that I’m cool enough for someone to have a crush on me? You can’t control those things!”). Second, there’s the fact that straight girls on Earth can be very affectionate. One of my straight friends kissed me twice until I asked her to stop because I did not want to fall for her. In Luz’s mind, Amity could easily be one of those touchy straight girls. So of course she’s looking for evidence to stockpile and convince herself that Amity doesn’t like her like that.

And there sure is a lot of evidence to stockpile.

To start with, Luz doesn’t think she knows Amity that well. I mean, the girl has been to Luz’s house twice. They haven’t had a lot of time to spend together. And even their dates have been sporadic: Luz took her top student badge so Amity watched her get dissected, Luz and Amity fought to what should have been their death, Luz almost got Amity killed at the library, Luz almost got Amity’s friends killed at the Knee, Amity almost got Luz’s friend killed, and then they danced. That’s it. As for the rest of Amity’s life...that’s largely a mystery. Luz didn’t figure out that Amity’s parents are abusive until last episode! Amity was actively avoiding her on the first day (hiding out in the halls and such), so who knows what she was doing then? And she spends a lot of time with rich kids: what if one of them was her crush? There’s a lot of Amity’s life that Luz can leave up to her imagination.

Secondly, Amity has shown Luz explicit proof of liking non-girls. Particularly, Malingale the Soothsayer. While their gender was never confirmed, Malingale seems to be male or nonbinary. With Luz, this could be some extra proof of not liking girls.

Okay, well how has she not even noticed all of Amity’s blushing? She has. But here’s the thing about white people: we blush a lot. As a blush-prone white person myself, I will blush when I’m angry, when I’m humiliated, when it’s too hot, when I exercise, when I’m uncomfortable, when I’m insecure...the list goes on. From Luz’s point of view, Amity really has permanent redness. I mean, she’ll hold her breath when she’s angry and her face will go red. She could be always angry to be around Luz. And especially in the past two episodes, whenever she so much as looks at Luz, she blushes. With how red her face is, Luz could even think it’s how her face always is. Or, that it’s a skin condition she got recently. Yeah, a lot of that evidence is grasping for straws, but remember that Luz has confirmation bias working against her.

How about all those times that Amity did heroic things? Luz’s love language is literally acts of service, and Amity has done those several times. Like when she caged Luz because “you’ll only get hurt.” Or when she burst from the trees as the leaves formed a heart around her and T-posed in front of Luz. The truth behind that is that Amity is starting to pick up on how Luz shows affection and is reciprocating it in her attempts to be the type of person Luz can love. But there’s another interpretation, which Luz could easily be using. 

Luz was the one who started the acts of service. She was the one who decided to befriend the Amity, to burst in as Luzura and save her, to say she’s not actually a witch, to save her siblings, to learn an extra spell and be in Amity’s class, to go fix Willow’s memories...the list goes on. So for Amity to reciprocate that? Maybe she’s just making it up to Luz. Amity probably feels bad about all the times she has let Luz be the hero, and wants to make her feel better about it.

Amity has also shown Luz proof of liking another girl. Right before Grom was Understanding Willow, which was an episode about Amity reminiscing over her childhood crush and fixing the damage between them. Sounds like friends to enemies to lovers, the trope that She Ra showed us to be an emotional and rewarding trope. Since Luz is a fanfic type, she could totally be looking for that trope.

And besides, you saw Luz in Willow’s mind. She literally watched Amity and Willow hold hands, gaze into each other’s eyes, apologize, make up, and look like they were going to get married. Sure, Luz wanted to go in there and claim Amity, which is part of why she put her hand on Amity’s shoulder there. But she is big enough to know that when her crush likes someone else, she should back off and support it. She would rather see Amity happy than see Amity with her, if those happen to be mutually exclusive. Which she thinks they are.

Going off that, Amity’s last words before her fear was revealed were a bit suspicious. She said “I’m sorry.” Who the hell would apologize as she was saving her friend?

As audience members, Amity’s reasoning for this is clear to us. She did this because she thought Grom was going to out her in front of everyone. She thought Luz would see her crush and hate her for it. Which makes sense if you assume the point of view of Amity’s repressed self, where her only crush was literally removed by her parents, and proceeded to hate her for years afterwards. If Luz knew that a monster like Amity liked her, she would remember what happened to Willow and cut Amity off like she was a long hairstyle.

From Luz’s point of view, it’s much worse. Deep down, Luz knows that she likes Amity and wants Amity to like her back (although she might not have the words for it). And think about it: if Amity’s fear is romance-related and she’s apologizing to Luz for something, wouldn’t it be for not liking her? From Luz’s point of view, she has been pretty obvious about her crush. She literally risked her life countless times for her. She even faced her worst fear for Amity, even though Eda strongly cautioned her against it. And besides, it wouldn’t even occur to Luz to hate Amity for liking her. So Luz thinks Amity is apologizing because Amity knows that Luz likes her, and she knows that her crush will hurt Luz. That also explains why Luz didn’t recognize her own mudsona: she was looking for someone else’s face to be reflected in it, so she could maybe help Amity by being her wingman.

Also, Luz can’t even stay in the Boiling Isles. Let’s say that everything goes perfectly. Luz falls for Amity, Amity falls for Luz, they date, they kiss, they face the Emperor’s Coven together, they face whoever’s writing notes to Luz’s mom together, they call each other girlfriends...all that won’t last, because Luz has to go home. 

Luz knows this. She already knows that making attachments is bad. That’s why her mom is her worst fear: it means she loses her real mother figure Eda, her best friend King, her love interest Amity, and her friends Willow and Gus. So of course she wouldn’t want to fall in love! She’ll only end up breaking Amity’s heart, and breaking her own. She saw how Amity reacted to having to leave Willow. Do you really think she would do that to Amity?

So can you blame her for the pain in her voice when she said “that’s what friends do?” She knows that’s not what friends do. But she has to put up that wall or risk hurting everyone.

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #4

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Celestite of Emptiness

“Could you take this with you?” the beautiful jeweler asked me, a stone in his hand.

What he was holding was a rock that looked exactly like a potato. It was dry and rough, with almost nothing to show off about it. It was about the size of a child’s fist.

“Our trade partner added this as an extra. It was mostly forced on me, though.”

“Even if you say that... what am I supposed to do with it?”

As I asked this, Richard said, “You can, for example, make it into a gift.”

He was probably thinking of Tanimoto-san. Indeed, since she loved minerals, I did think that she would like even this kind of plain rock, but...

“No... the aquamarine I bought a while ago is still on-hold, so...”

I had a stone that I wanted personally wanted to prepare myself to give her. As I declined in a roundabout way, saying that randomly firing a present at her might be questionable when taking this into account, yada-yada, Richard looked at me as if taken aback. He seemed to be spacing out. When I made an “aah, this again?” kind of face, he showed shame with an “excuse me”.

“I was a little absorbed in my thoughts.”

“That’s okay, then.”

This sort of thing wasn’t uncommon lately. It didn’t happen when we had customers over, but when I was the only one around, the shopkeeper’s reactions were slow. The speed with which the snacks on the kitchenette’s cupboards were decreasing in numbers was also clearly dropping. It was as if he were just choosing the ones that were close to their expiration date and consuming them robotically, which wasn’t like the usual Richard. Only the digestive, balanced Nakata Seigi Pudding was decreasing in the same proportion as I was making it.

I didn’t know the reason behind this. Honestly, I was pretty worried.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

As I asked inadvertently, Richard let out a sound that I couldn’t tell whether it was a sigh or a laugh. “Let’s see; there have been forty thieves appearing often around the palace I live in lately, and they are impossibly loud. If you are a magus, I would like you to banish them away with a swing of your wand.”

“Is that the story of Arabian Nights? No, seriously now, are you a victim of stalking?”

“It was a joke. There is nothing troubling me in particular. Aah, speaking of which, I have yet to... Seigi. Come here,” Richard called, sitting on the sofa and pointing me to the opposite seat. The stone was still in his hand. Just what was that rock?

“A spell. There was one in Arabian Nights, right? The magic words that open the cave. Do you know them?”

“Magic words... ‘Open sesame’?”

As I said this, Richard smiled and “split” the stone into two. His touch was soft, even more than if he were splitting a fluffy and crumbly butter potato. There was a crevice on it from the very start.

The inside of the stone on his palm was a treasure cave.

It was tightly packed with brightly shining, light blue crystals. Even though the stone was the color of dry sand on the outside. A spontaneous box of surprises that was. Upon a closer look, the stone’s center was hollow, and the crystals twinkled as if to enclose that empty spot. Was it a quartz? No, it was a different gem. I had never seen a quartz of that color before. Although there were light blue parts, there were mostly white ones. What was this thing?

“Richard, what’s this blue stone...?”

“Celestite. It seems it is also named ‘celestial blue stone’ in Japan. It splits easily, so be careful. Have you ever heard of the name ‘geode’? It is apparently called ‘druse’ here in Japan, and due to the work of hot water, the heart of the stone, unlike its outside, is a sparkling ‘mineral cave’. This phenomenon is not limited to just the celestite and also exists in geodes such as crystals and agates. How thoughtless I was back there. You would not know the true essence of this specimen unless I split it and showed it to you, right?”

I recalled the story of “Alibaba and the Forty Thieves” in my head. When Alibaba opened the cave with the words “open sesame”, the inside was a mountain of treasures. The person who had thought that story out might have been someone who was deeply moved when opening a geode.

Richard gave me one side of the split sample.

“There sure are some interesting stones in this world.”

“Your girlfriend knows better about these kinds of things, doesn’t she?”

“The ‘person I want to have as girlfriend’, you mean!”

“I am terribly sorry. I have been hearing this same correction for quite a long time, so I imagined it was about time for a change.”

“Young people are cautious these days.”

I became sullen and Richard laughed a little. Framed by golden eyelashes, his blue irises took on a gentle hue.

Huh? Speaking of which...

As I looked at Richard in the face with a questioning expression and went stiff, the unseen eyebrows of the beautiful jeweler furrowed slightly. I didn’t avoid his gaze at all, which resulted in him waving his hand a little, as if to ask me if I could see his eyes. I could, geez.

“Hey, what’s the name of this stone again? Cele...”

“‘Celestite’. The ‘celebs’ part has the meaning of ‘heaven’. The intention of the one who named it is obvious, isn’t it? You can feel the brilliance of clear blue skies from this stone formed under the ground.”

“Clear blue skies”. Indeed, that was the color of it. But...

“I know one thing other than the sky that looks just like it.”

“It is not coming to me. Is this something I know?”

“I think you definitely know.”

“What might it be?”

“Your eyes.”

As I said so, Richard’s blue eyes widened a little.

Thanks to myself getting used to foreign costumers in this store, I came to know that “blue eyes” were not all the same. The eye color of a customer who declared themself to have violet eyes was a mix of deep gray and blue, and there was also someone with irises so vivid that it looked like they had been painted all over with aqua-colored ink. Human eyes, just like garnets and tourmalines, were gemstones that bore all sorts of hues. Richard’s eyes were a light, grayish blue. That was a cold combination at first glance, but there was a subtle depth to it and it was gorgeous. The shade close to the center and the one of the surroundings was a bit different. Just like this celestite.

“I wonder if the person who gave it as an extra also thought about something like that.”

Richard fell silent. Ah. Ah~. Hm.

I knew nothing about the person who had added the extra stone, but if they had picked it and sent it to Richard with a serious intention, of course this jeweler who was by no means looking for a lover would get an iffy feeling out of it. All right.

“I got it. I’ll take it. It splits easily, right? I’ll be careful when putting it up for decoration. Thank you.”

As I held one side of the stone within a hand and reached out to get the other, Richard made a weird face for an instant. Eh? What? He seemed like he wanted so bad to push it onto me earlier. I froze in a half-sitting position. What should I do?

Richard opened his eyes with a serious look and spoke while staring at me, “Will you give this stone to someone?” He pronounced each word slowly.

What did he mean? For me to give it away? Didn’t sound like it. The tone of his voice was low. If he had something he wanted to say, he should do it in a way that was easier to understand. Which was it? Should I say I was gonna give it away? Should I say I wasn’t? Actually, what did I want to do by taking this stone with me?

Would I give to someone else, like Tanimoto-san, a stone that had Richard’s eye color?

“I don’t think so.”

I wouldn’t. I couldn’t explain the reason very well myself, though.

Richard seemed to smile faintly. “Is that so? Then...” Saying “keep them” in English, Richard put the other half on my hand.

That means “take them”. I get it. I’m accepting them with gratitude. But I want you to tell me what the heck that pause just now was. Was it nothing much? Or were you just spacing out again? Or maybe you have something that you’re tremendously worried about but can’t tell me?

Sorting out my thoughts, I tried to call out to Richard as he stood up, but he started talking to me instead, spoiling my start, “Right, right; here is one more trivia. Even if you just heard about celestite for the first time, are you familiar with strontium sulfate? It’s an ore that burns with very brightly colored flames and comes in handy as raw material for fireworks and stuff like that.”

“A stone can burn?! Then I gotta be careful about how to store it... No, it might happen even then.”

“Even if you are not so careful, it will not catch fire on its own. However...” Richard turned towards me as if tilting his head a little. Was he smiling? “If there comes a time someday when you cannot suppress your anger, breaking it or burning it might be, well, a good form of practical use.”

“Couldn’t suppress anger”? Before I could ask what he meant by that, Richard got up unexpectedly and disappeared into the kitchenette.

“Breaking a stone” - I couldn’t believe that those words had come from Richard.

After about five minutes, he came out and shut himself in the back room, then began talking in English on the phone.

When I looked at the kitchenette’s sink, I found one of my pudding bowls was empty. He could have eaten it while seated.

Once I was done washing the dishes and came back to the reception room, the half-split celestite geode lay on top of the glass table. Richard had told me to recite a spell when opening this stone into two. It was a silly association, but it would be great if the doors of his evasiveness could be opened with just one spell. I didn’t want to know all his secrets. Just him throwing his worries at me sometimes was enough. But even if I happened to open the cave of his heart, what was there in his intentions? Was it something okay for me to see?

“Well, that’s what I was wondering back then.”

“My deepest apologies...”

“See, I was wondering if there was something I could do for you, but I was a bit hesitant, asking myself whether or not you’d come at me for it, and I couldn’t bring myself to say that.”

“...for causing you such a terrible amount of trouble...”

“I was so uncertain.”

“...at that time.”

Like a bobblehead doll, the shop keeper repeatedly offered me words of apology. Just like them, my spiteful words had none of the sentiment in them at all. It was like a two-person comedy act with no audience. Telling funny stories for our own sake kind of gave me a bizarre feeling, but taking a step backward and thinking it over, it was quite enjoyable.

It would soon be Christmas season, and what triggered the reminiscent talk was that a client who made enormous purchases commented a single sentence about Richard’s eyes before she left: “their color is just like a celestite’s, huh”. But as we had no more time for weird chitchatting, I cut it short and went into the kitchenette. I had to leave the tea ready in advance. This shop was busy lately. It was great that business was doing well.

The celestite of back then was sitting inside the safe that we had bought just recently. Since that stone split and caught fire easily, it was probably more secure within a safe. Even if heaven and earth overturned, I didn’t think I would break or set fire to that stone, nor would I use any other method to take out on it. That much was certain.

Etranger was now in peace.

[fishylife]

Street Dance of China, Season 4, Episode 4

- I’ve had issues with Tumblr not saving my posts again v.v I’ll just save often and hope that that does the trick.

- Latrice and Ibuki reenacting HB’s performance haha. From the behind the scenes clips I’ve seen, Ibuki does speak English, so I like to think they are now friends :D

- Hilty & Bosch have known each other since they were six years old T_T That’s cuuuute. Apparently they don’t get into arguments a lot because they always keep a distance between them XD Good strategy.

- San’er’s performance was great! He definitely brings the entertainment in his creativity (including incorporating a story line), but he doesn’t forget about the technical parts of dancing (the popping).

- Bouboo cheering on Rochka when he challenged Jianyan :P

- This spinning move he did was neat

- 不咋地 is going to be the recurring inside joke between Yibo, Rochka, and Bouboo ^^;;

- Yixing singing the SDOC theme song again XD With his super low energy voice XD

- Yibo was tipping the bench which was why Yixing and Henry were like, rocking back and forth at the same pace lol.

- Admittedly George vs. C-Lil was kind of rough. George tried to include Chinese elements in his performance, but he was injured, so he couldn’t really showcase them, and the latter part of his performance became just a typical contemporary dance. C-Lil’s performance was alright, but I think the judges were expecting something more impressive. While break dancing is very impressive to watch, I am starting to see the limitations of it, because if a dancer is not impressive, they are just kind of mediocre. George and C-Lil weren’t able to bring anything superbly impressive, which I think it was difficult for them to vote. Yibo abstained, and C-Lil got two votes, so C-Lil advanced.

- Zyko was incredible as always. It fascinates me how he’s mostly performed with these ballad type songs that don’t really have a beat. Also his flexibility is insane. I’m glad he got through with four votes because we need to see him more.

- I really liked Chika’s performance! I feel like women’s dancing is sometimes a bit limited in the mainstream because people just expect them to look sexy. It isn’t as much the case on this show because all of the ladies on this show are dancers and not idols or pop stars. But anyway, I just love seeing women dance without their bodies being sexualized. Chika’s dance showcased not only control over her body, but POWER. I loved her big movements. Compare the power that she shows vs. the power that say, Ibuki shows. Ibuki is a much smaller lady and it shows in her proportions, so how she expresses power looks different from how Chika expresses power, and Chika’s is the sort of power that I’ve really looked forward to seeing.

- Rochka fanboys over everybody, I love it. Keep spreading the love, dude.

- Ok, Xiaoji’s performance was pretty entertaining. I am not kidding when I say my jaw dropped, at the same time that all the captains went OH SNAP. But this guy definitely has charisma and stage presence. His confidence made up for his lack of ability to improvise XD I was CACKLING when this guy thought the song was done and Yibo was like “bro there’s more” and Xiaoji had to come up with something to end it off lol. I wouldn’t say his challenge was as good as Xiaohai’s, mostly because he hadn’t memorized the music like Xiaohai did. In terms of technical stuff, his performance did seem more impressive than Lai Wei’er’s, but he also did less “stuff” (like, there were a lot of pauses in his dance probably because he didn’t now the music). But Xiaoji’s was definitely more entertaining, though that may just be because of who he is and not his dancing. (By the way, Xiaoji’s real name is 林森. I thought the name 林木森 was just a joke because of how much wood was in it. I never guessed that someone would name their kid 林森 X’D Guess his 八字 indicated that he had a weakness in wood or something lol)

- Have some laughing captains, it’s good for the soul.

- Acky-san acknowledged that he’s probably not going to beat the younger dancers in terms of technique, so what he brought instead was style. The “robot” style of popping is pretty old, but no one else has done it in this competition probably because it’s so old school, and he definitely delivered in a way that only he could.

- Henry singing Frere Jacques with the French contingent X’D

- Thoughts on Han Yu vs. Boris. I can imagine what Han Yu was going for in his original performance, but I don’t think it worked. I don’t have the vocabulary to explain it, but basically the way his performance was choreographed just didn’t really impress. As Yibo mentioned, Boris was impressive in his dance to Han Yu’s music, but his dancing didn’t suit the song as much as Han Yu’s did. So the original dance + challenge was a matter of impressiveness vs. whether the dancing suited the music. Han Yu shone in the battle. I think he seemed a lot more impressive when back in a hip hop sort of groove, music that has a lot of major beats, compared to the piano music that was less grand an epic. As for Boris, I think that seeing a few of his performances in succession showed that his toolbox is a little limited in comparison to Han Yu. It hate to see Boris go because I loved his battle against Zyko but alas. I also wanted him to stay because he’s one of the few non-Chinese contestants who speak Mandarin relatively well. He had no issues speaking in Mandarin with most of the Chinese people on set. The ending was hilarious, when he was asked whether he had any last words, and Boris was like “well, I’m literally going to see these guys in two seconds when I’m back in the audience, I’m not dying” lmao.

- I don’t know how I feel about how the show has decided to deal with the last 29 contestants, of which three would be chosen to join the 49 dancers advancing. They’re competing fairly with the other contestants that haven’t performed yet, but they’re at a disadvantage compared to the previous contestants that were judged individually. For example, what if the fourth best dancer was better than a dancer that had already entered the 49? It would only be fair if the judges were allowed to take out people from the 46 contestants that had passed. It would’ve been a bigger problem if there were still a lot of big names to go though. Most of the best dancers have already secured a spot for themselves, so I think that’s why I’m not like, the most perturbed.

- I was low key waiting for Xiao Jie’s performance because his audition performance during episode 1 was so amusing. I thought his individual performance was fun! He managed to add some creativity and story telling (Chinese dude getting drunk) but also showcase some of his specialty skills (locking).

- I forgot to mention this before, but it amuses me that so the editing team will so diligently put in a “don’t try this at home” warning message whenever a dancer does a dangerous move haha.

- So the captains are doing a dance battle for the reborn event, but I’m not really sure how this is all gonna work. I’m digging Yixing’s look for the battle btw.

- Anyway, pre-battle hugs for all.

- KRUMPMASTER. Also I think he did some of the routine that he did back in Season 3.

- Not gonna lie, I wasn’t super impressed with Han Geng’s first dance but his second dance was pretty hype.

- Lol Yibo feels most comfortable challenging Yixing during his battles. He did move where he dropped onto his back right after Yixing did it (i.e. being like you can do it but I can do it better). Based on what I saw of season 3, I think Yibo would call out Yixing in his performances then too.

- Yixing was definitely heavy on the krump side, though I actually thought his first performance was really interesting because there was barely any krump in that one. He mostly stuck to other elements. As we got through the other rounds, he became more krump heavy, and I think he lost a bit in terms of variety there.

- The thing about Han Geng is that he’s no longer as athletic, so he relies more on power and control, but he needs to make sure he does the right moves that showcase that.

- I think Yibo impressed me the most. He had a lot of variety in his arsenal and he was very entertaining. He is also quite athletic, so as long as he can imagine it, I think he can do it haha.

- As others mentioned, Henry was extremely creative. He used a lot of dance moves to show a certain action, like tugging a rope or playing pool and such.

- Anyway, big hugs.

- Baby needs a nap.

- Yibo won the most points in the four rounds of the battle. This hug with Han Geng is uwu. Anyway, Tony Gogo mentioned that Yibo interpreted the music very well.

- Of course, Tony Gogo as well as the Gogo brothers praised Yixing for his krumping energy

- Philip said that Han Geng had a really good ear, and that was how he was able to take advantage of the best moments to unleash certain dances.

- The five contestants that were saved were A-wei, Boris, George, JC Jun, and Kelo & Uwa. I definitely think the editors purposely showed us more clips of them so that we’d grow attached lol. The only one of these five that I don’t quite remember is A-wei though. Anyway, very pleased that Boris is back haha.

- Pouty boi

- Yibo, Henry, Han Geng, and Ibuki getting really into 煞科 lol.

- I think next episode is going to have some team performances, which I think will be fun. Some of these teams are STACKED.

- Previews for Hot pot!

- They were talking about songs they listened to in their childhood. Han Geng started singing a song about an Office Black Cat? XD I’m guessing it’s a cartoon haha. Yibo listened to Leehom Wang and Jay Chou. Henry mentioned that he looked up to Leehom because he was also an overseas Chinese, plus he played a lot of instruments (just like Henry). As expected, Yixing looked up to Jay Chou (after all, Jay Chou was one of the earliest artists to popularize using Chinese elements in pop songs). Yixing said he also liked Leehom Wang, JJ Lin, and Khalil Fong (I legit have not heard the name 方大同 in a long time so that took me by surprise lol).

- Yibo mentioned Li Ronghao and Yixing was like OH WAIT YEAH HIM TOO. We know from Idol Producer that Yixing and Li Ronghao are bros haha. The captain says “不榮藝 組合” which pronounced the same as “不容易 組合” which is something like “unlikely duo,” except the the 榮 is from Li Ronghao’s name and the 藝 is from Zhang Yixing’s name lol.

- The robot spilled all the tea! Bad bot!

- I think they later played a listening game that Henry kept losing? lol

[aceironwood]

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#proportions and some stuff are definitely off from how i imagine them but i am limited in artistic ability and also resources lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I thought of a joke and made this in like 5 minutes

13 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#4

People using this situation to try and promote their RWBY rewrites feels very wrong to me. Like now is not the time to be talking about you and how you think you could be doing the show better, it’s time to be caring about the people that’ve been mistreated by Rooster Teeth

17 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#3

New Arrowfell stills from the latest dev diary!

22 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#2

Penny in Arrowfell I will love you forever

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My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

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[cappymightwrite]

ASOIAF & Norse Mythology

PART 1: Introduction

Laying Out the Groundwork...

I’ve been interested in all things Norse/Vikings for a long time now, so when I first read George RR Martin’s ASOIAF series I was struck by, as I think many people have been, the quite obvious parallels to Norse mythology and Viking Age culture. I’ve read a few other Norse themed metas here and there, but I thought I might have a go at adding my own two cents since I am currently doing a masters in Viking and Medieval Norse studies at two Nordic universities...despite the hellfire that is 2020.

(Am I procrastinating my uni work by doing this meta? Yes. Do I regret it? …ask me later.)

I haven’t read every single Norse/ASOIAF meta out there, but from the ones I have read, I think there has been a bit of a tendency to argue for very direct parallels between the two. For instance, claiming one ASOIAF character as an explicit parallel for a particular Norse mythological figure, or using certain mythic events, and how they are described within their medieval sources, as an exact blueprint for how things are going to play out in the books.

(Let’s all just pretend the show and its ending didn’t happen. Ok, good? Good.)

I completely understand the urge to take this approach, it is a very tempting, fun thing to do. However, I think it maybe conveniently sets aside some unfortunate home truths that rather harm this kind of reading:

[November 27, 1998, on the topic of the Wars of the Roses]

The Wars of the Roses have always fascinated me, and certainly did influence A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE, but there's really no one-for-one character-for-character correspondence. I like to use history to flavour my fantasy, to add texture and verisimilitude, but simply rewriting history with the names changed has no appeal for me. I prefer to reimagine it all, and take it in new and unexpected directions.

[February 29, 2000, on the topic of historical influences for Dorne]

I read a lot of history, and mine it for good stuff, but I also like to mix and match. That is to say, I don’t do straight one-for-one transplants, as some authors do, so you can’t really say that X in Westeros equals Y in real life. More often X in Westeros equals Y and Z in real life, with squidges of Q, L, and A.

[June 20, 2001 on the topic of whether GRRM borrows from history for the character of Loras Tyrell]

Well, yes and no. I have drawn on a great many influences for these books. I do use incidents from history, yes, although I try not to do a straight one-for-one transposition of fact into fiction. I prefer to mix and match, and to add in some imaginative elements as well.

These are just a few examples I’ve pulled out, and granted he’s talking about historical sources in all three instances here, but nevertheless I think the same thing applies to mythological sources as well: GRRM does not do ‘straight one-for-one transplants.’ Bearing this in mind, I would be very hesitant to say that Robert Baratheon equals Þórr (Thor), for example. That kind of shoehorning is not what I’m interested in with this particular meta. Instead, I want to look at how the ways in which the Norsemen’s mythological worldview might have influenced GRRM’s writing, and more specifically what we’ll eventually be facing in The Winds of Winter.

An Argument for Norse Influence…

A lot of the time when people discuss Norse parallels in ASOIAF the assumption that GRRM has read and is explicitly drawing on Norse mythology is taken as a given. The parallels seem so obvious that we don’t take a moment to consider the validity of that assumption before ploughing straight ahead with various comparisons and theories. So, before I really begin, I think it’s important to actually give some evidence as to why I agree that GRRM has read certain Norse mythological texts and is therefore consciously using them in his writing.

For starters, just trawling through some of the fan questions he’s answered in the past (NB: I was planning to go through all of them, but…there’s just so many), GRRM does make a few references to Norse myths/Vikings, e.g.:

[June 11, 1999, on the topic of Ravens as messenger birds]

[…] I also liked the mythic resonances. Odin used ravens as his messengers, and they were also thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead.

[April 23, 2001, on the topic of Wildlings in the north]

Raiding is definitely a part of wildling culture, as it was for many in the real world -- the Norse who went a-viking every summer, the ancient Celtic cattle raiders, the Scots border reivers, etc.

So, from just these two examples it is clear to us that GRRM has some degree of knowledge regarding Norse mythology and Viking Age culture. You could argue that this is just a basic kind of knowledge, which isn’t illustrative of any deeper understanding or interest. However, I think the first quote proves otherwise.

Apart from Þórr, Óðinn (Odin) is probably the most well known out the Norse gods to a non-medievalist audience; though thanks to Marvel comics/films, Loki is quite (in)famous as well. Quite a lot of people might know that Óðinn is associated with ravens, two in particular: Huginn and Muninn, whose names translate from Old Norse-Icelandic to ‘Thought’ and ‘Mind’ or ‘Memory,’ respectively. But their function, or role in connection to Óðinn, might require a bit of a deeper read and understanding.

Indeed, in the quote above GRRM notes that they are Óðinn´s ‘messengers,’ which is a detail that occurs in several Old Norse sources, namely in chapter 38 of the Gylfaginning section of Snorri Sturluson’s Prose Edda (c. 1220), as well as in the Eddic poem Grímnismál, a work that is included in the Codex Regius (compiled 13th cent., containing 31 poems), the principal manuscript of the Poetic Edda:

‘Two ravens sit on Óðinn’s shoulders, and into his ears they tell all the news they see or hear. Their names are Huginn [Thought] and Muninn [Mind, Memory]. At sunrise he sends them off to fly throughout the whole world, and they return in time for the first meal. Thus he gathers knowledge about many things that are happening, and so people call him the raven god. As is said:

Huginn and Muninn

fly each day

over the wide world.

I fear for Huginn

that he may not return,

though I worry more for Muninn.’

                                                         (The Lay of Grimnir, 20)

In fact, as seen above, Snorri uses Grímnismál as a source to back up his own claims within the Gylfaginning.*

NB: In Old Norse, Gylfaginning translates to ‘the beguiling’ or ‘deluding of Gylfi.’ It is the first part of Snorri’s Prose Edda, and is structured as a question-and-answer conversation between Gylfi — a king of ‘the land that men now call Sweden,’ though there’s no historical record of him — under the guise of the name Gangleri, and three enthroned men: High, Just-As-High and Third. In chapter 20 of Gylfaginning it is revealed that these are in fact pseudonyms for Óðinn. 

Elsewhere, we see reference to Huginn and Muninn as messengers in Snorri’s other work, Heimskringla (c. 1230), a collection of several sagas about Swedish and Norwegian kings. In chapter 7 of Ynglinga saga, Snorri writes that:

[Óðinn] had two ravens which he had trained to speak. They flew over distant countries and told him much news. From these things he became extremely wise.

So, we can see that this detail about Huginn and Muninn as messenger birds is well established in several Old Norse sources, and is therefore likely to be included in any general guide or overview to Norse mythology. GRRM could have left it at that and all would be fine and dandy. But he doesn’t. He adds that ‘they were also thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead.’ For me, this is an interesting inclusion, because as you can see from the quotes above, though they are said to travel ‘over the wide world’ and ‘over distant countries,’ it isn’t explicitly stated in the Prose Edda, Poetic Edda or Heimskringla that they fly between the realms of the living and the dead. 

The closest thing I can find that fits in with what GRRM is saying here is a fragmentary verse from the Third Grammatical Treatise, a text composed around the middle of the 13th century by Óláfr Þórðarson, a nephew of Snorri Sturluson (and he seems to have been influenced by his uncle’s works). The second part of this text contains examples of Old Norse-Icelandic skaldic poetry — this is where we find our reference to Huginn and Muninn:

Two ravens flew from Hnikar’s [Óðinn’s]

shoulders; Huginn to the hanged and

Muninn to the slain [lit. corpses].

                                                                       [TGT]

According to this verse, from Óðinn’s shoulders, the two ravens fly to the ‘hanged’ and the ‘slain,’ so their association with death is pretty clear. The problem, however, with saying that they ‘fly between the worlds of the living and the dead,’ is which worlds? Does he mean from Miðgarðr (Midgard) to Valhöll* ´the hall of the slain’? Or to Fólkvangr ‘field of the host’? Or from Ásgarðr (Asgard) to Hel? I know what he means, I’m just being pedantic.

NB: Valhalla is a modernised version of the Old Norse-Icelandic Valhöll — in modern Icelandic, the ‘LL’ in Valhöll is pronounced sort of like ‘TL.’ So, for instance, the new Assassin’s Creed game…the Norsemen/Vikings, as well as later medieval sources, wouldn’t have referred to it as Valhalla, they would have called it Valhöll. 

But back to the Third Grammatical Treatise — it should be noted that, according to Tarrin Wills, ‘of the poetic examples, a large amount of material is not found elsewhere and a large proportion of that is anonymous.’ Furthermore, the above fragment in particular ‘belongs to no known poem’ (Wills), which is probably why we don’t find this kind of detail about Huginn and Muninn elsewhere in other, better known mythic sources, such as the Prose Edda.

What I’m trying to get at here is that, in my mind, for GRRM to make the claim that Óðinn’s ravens were ‘thought be able to fly between the worlds of the living and the dead’ he’d have to have more than just a basic interest in Norse mythology, because not all guides/overviews/introductions to the Norse myths include or reference this obscure, fragmentary verse. I mean, I don’t particularly remember it coming up in my Old Nordic Religion and Belief module I did last year, so that’s why it stands out to me.

Ok, so GRRM has definitely read up on Norse mythology. Great, point proved! Ah…but then there’s this:

[January 20, 1999]

[Summary from Kay-Arne Hansen: I asked him if he had read 'Norwegian Kingssagas' by Snorre Sturlasson, and explained that I thought so on the basis of Sansa's story about Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk seeming to be the equivalent of the brother kings Alrik and Eirik, and went on to make suggestions about other possible 'inspirators' from the 'Kingssagas'.]

Ah... well... a fascinating theory, but...

I did take a semester of Scandinavian history back my sophomore year in college, which was.... hmmmm... around about 1967-8. I read a couple of Icelandic sagas during the course, and found them thoroughly compelling, but after the passage of thirty years I confess I no longer recall the titles or the names of any of the characters. It may be that chunks of them, buried in my subconscious, somehow surfaced during A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE... but it seems a long shot.

Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk were inspired by the twin knights of Arthurian myth, Sir Balon and Sir Balin, who appear in Mallory.

Sorry.

Nice try, though.

I came across this Q/A on reddit and the response was quite a few redditors feeling a tad despondent. They seemed to understand GRRM’s answer to mean that any reference/allusion to Norse mythology in his texts were just memories of a long ago Scandinavian history course ‘buried in [his] subconscious’ that ‘somehow surfaced’ during the writing process, so weren’t intentional, conscious inclusions. Even then, GRRM considers this hypothesis ‘a long shot.’

However, I wouldn’t necessary give up all hope, because the texts being referred to here are Snorri Sturluson’s Heimskringla, which we looked at above, and most likely the Íslendingasögur (aka the Sagas of Icelanders), referred to by GRRM as ‘a couple of Icelandic sagas’ he read in college. 

Heimskringla does include mythological content, but as I’ve already mentioned, it’s primarily a history of Norwegian and Swedish kings — though it should be noted that GRRM doesn’t outright say he hasn’t read Heimskringla. As for the text(s) he does mention, in Egils saga for instance, there is reference to pre-Christian religion, but again, I wouldn’t look to the Íslendingasögur as a go-to source for Norse myths.

Granted, the question being asked is about historical sources and inspirations, I still think it’s telling that GRRM doesn’t mention having read the Prose Edda or Poetic Edda here. Because those are the two key textual sources that we look to for the Norse myths, and even though they were written/compiled well after the conversion to Christianity, they still arguably preserve aspects and memories of what went before. So, I really doubt he wouldn’t have come across them on that Scandinavian History course — the gradual conversion to Christianity in Scandinavia and Iceland is a pretty important period in their cultural history. Going further, I think that these are texts he’s returned to time and time again...in particular the sections that refer to the ‘Twilight of the Gods,’ aka Ragnarök.

References/Bibliography:

Snorri Sturluson, Heimskringla I: The Beginnings to Óláfr Tryggvason, trans. by Alison Finlay & Anthony Faulkes, (London: Viking Society for Northern Research, 2011)

Snorri Sturluson, The Prose Edda, trans. and intr. by Jesse Byock, (London: Penguin Classics, 2005)

Tarrin Wills, “The Anonymous Verse in the Third Grammatical Treatise,” in The Fantastic in Old Norse/Icelandic Literature, Sagas, and the British Isles: Preprint Papers of The 13th International Saga Conference Durham and York, 6–12 August 2006, ed. by John McKinnell, David Ashurst & Donata Kick, (Durham: The Centre for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, 2006)

END OF PART 1...

With that out of the way, parts 2 and 3 will be on:

The ‘Long Night’ and the Fimbulvetr

Ragnarök and the ‘Red Comet’

I’ve also go some other potential parts in the works, but let me know what you thought of this, if I should continue, or if I should just shut up, lol. I promise the next sections will be dealing with the really interesting stuff, I just wanted to strengthen my forthcoming arguments with this intro first :D

Cappy x

[jjba-hell]

Fate and Fortune

Part 4 and we’re finally moving into canon ya’ll.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Content warning: implied unwanted sexual advances, mentioning of prosthetics and amputation (y’know Joseph), mention of substance (marijuana) usage, mild injuries, mention of grief (especially familial loss)

For the moots: @risottoneroo (ya mans is making an appearance) @rat-makes-stuff

Some context: Vera’s stand works in balance- for every good fortune she exploits or bad fortune she reverts, the bad needs to be experienced and because she manipulates it, she’s the one that needs to experience it. This forms the basis of big skills having a “cost”.

The next time Vera had climbed onto an airplane, it was unaccompanied and just a few months shy of two years from when she had first left Egypt.

Mr Joestar had never made an appearance but Avdol kept in touch over the phone almost biweekly. Everything in the world seemed to be running smoothly until Avdol’s calm demeanor seemed to waver over the phone when they spoke, so much so that she knew something big was going on.

“Vera! You’ve got a scheduled call with your benefactor in the counselor’s office after school.” One of her class mates had handed her a time and return number scribbled on a piece of paper as she strolled through the hallway.

Of course she was on time, waiting about three rings before picking up and introducing herself. The voice that returned was definitely not what she was expecting.

Vera had always imagined a weakening, wavering voice from an elder gentleman on the other end of the line when she thought of her benefactor but Mr Joestar was loud, quick- talking and despite the serious order for her to leave her classes, sounded no older than 40.

She landed in Japan a few hours shy of midnight, painfully jet-lagged and half asleep in a vain attempt to forget the time zones she was crossing. Avdol had met her just outside the luggage carousel, giving a tired smile as she approached.

“Long time no see, Avdol.”

“How was your flight?” He gave a huff of laughter, taking her suitcase and guiding her towards one of the exits.

“Oh it was lovely, I stop smoking for a month and suddenly all my hard work is undone by a woman two isles behind me.” She had always had a weakness for cherry cigarillos.

“And you caved?” He raised an eyebrow slightly at her.

“It was an 8 hour flight- I mean at least I stopped asking after she so kindly offered to ‘alleviate some stress in the bathroom’.”

Avdol cringed a breathed a heavy sigh- “I forget for all the luck of your stand you suffer twice the bad luck.”

She shrugged and then sat down on the bench with a groan. “Speaking of which...Do you-?”

The cigarette pack handed to her was enough of an answer.

“Damn Avdol- I knew your nerves were frayed but bad enough for you to pick up smoking again?”

He didn’t answer as he sat down beside her, throwing an arm over the back of the bench and joining her in the vice.

“The man that killed your parents. He came to find me.”

Vera’s stomach dropped, the blood leaving her head as the realization dawned on her. The fact that Avdol was there and seemingly unharmed...

Avdol took a heavy swallow, took another drag and continued. “Your benefactor brought you here because you were probably the first among us to have seen Dio in person in Egypt.”

“And I’m guessing this shitbag’s name is Dio?” She didn’t mind getting information in the form of little snippets but Avdol always spoke to her in a pretty straightforward manner, to see him so disoriented in his thoughts was putting her off ease.

He only nodded.

Vera cleared her throat and then turned towards the man beside her. “And care to explan what my benefacto has to do with him?”

“Dio is a pest that started with the Joestars-“

It took three cigarettes for Avdol to get through the brunt of the Joestar family drama- not even mentioning the finer details not even they were aware of. “So this Kujo kid is just a pit stop before we go back to Egypt?”

The prospect both excited and worried her. She’d be going home but at the cost of possibly facing Dio.

“Don’t think on it too much- Mr Joestar still has to affirm that his grandson doesn’t have a stand.”

Vera laughed with her head back. “I kinda figured a little arrest scare wasn’t enough for him to come all this way.”

The two rose up from the bench, Avdol taking her suitcase as the taxi pulled up.

Vera was nearly convinced Jotaro Kujo didn’t have a stand, so when she crawled into the hotel bed in her room, she was convinced that she’d be able to sleep the jetlag off. The 10 am call from the front desk was enough to prove her very wrong.

“Yes?” She grumbled into the phone.

“Good morning, Vera.” The painfully smug reply from Avdol almost had her dropping the phone back onto the receiver. “The taxi to the police station will be here in half an hour.”

She dropped her head into the pillow and gave a muffled scream. Without much further protest she rolled out of bed and prepared to meet the day. Avdol met her in the front office with her own pack of cigarettes. “You’re supposed to be a good influence on me.”

Avdol only shook his head, a smile behind the cigarette between his lips.

At the police station, they were greeted with a rather frantic looking officer, ushering them through the offices and down to the cells where the inmates cowered from the oversized teenager lounging in the corner cell with junk that, needless to say, didn’t belong in a jail cell.

Before they could approach the problem at hand Avdol greeted Mr Joestar. The sound of his name had her eyes shoot up at the greying monstrosity of a man in front of her. Joseph Joestar smiled at her warmly before extending a white gloved hand for her to shake. “A pleasure to finally meet the student whose report card I get in the mail.”

Vera could’t help but give a laugh- just as much as she only knew the name of her benefactor, he must have only known her for her report cards.

“The honor is all mine, Mr Joes-“ her sentence died out on her tongue due to the subtle metallic click on her palm. Her smile slid off her face and her gaze shot between the clicking on Mr Joestar’s hand and his seemingly oblivious smile.

When the realisation finally dawned on him Joseph swiftly held his other hand out with a toothy grin (and maybe a dust of color on his cheeks). Vera shakily shook it, relieved at the slight heat from a human palm in the hand she held now. “Sorry, I forget not everyone is lacking a right hand.” He chuckled awkwardly but Vera struggled to hide the genuine laugh behind her hand. “A tale for another time?”

Mr Joestar gave a bark of laughter, throwing a jovial arm around her shoulders. “I just knew you had moxy, kid! I knew right after that call I got from your principal about the maurijuana ring you busted because one of the dealers ripped you off.”

Avdol was quick to bring the topic back to the trouble at hand, speaking to both Vera and Mr Joestar (mostly to Vera’s relief since they were still in a police station). “Not to interupt a long-delayed acquiantance but how would you have us remove Jotaro from his cell, Mr Joestar?”

“By whatever means- Avdol, I trust your judgement.”

Avdol looked at Vera, “He simply won’t leave his cell. Any idea if you could get him out?”

Her eyebrows shot up in intrigue, “Without force i suppose you mean?” She looked at one of the officers nearby. “How long has he been in there?”

“About a week.” One of them answered, sounding unsure.

She nodded, looking over to the cot that was visibly too small for a teenager of such bizarre proportions. “I could just bring him out the easy way-“

“After that I’ll take over.” Avdol finished her thought for her.

Vera shrugged, strolling past the other bystanders to stand in front of the cot Jotaro was seated at. She peered down at him between the bars, his aquamarine gaze peaking just beyond the brim of his cap- like he was trying to stare HER down.

When she refused to waver he only gave an angry ‘Tch’ as he pulled his cap lower over his eyes. Vera brought Fortune behind her and waited for him to bring his open soda can to his lips. To his surprise the can was sealed. Jotaro’s gaze angrily shot towards her and her stand, the disk that replaced their pointer finger knuckle still quietly moving backwards.

“So you possess an evil spirit as well, so what?”

“We don’t speak the same language, Kujo. Your default is force but I’d like to mess with your head first. I won’t force you out of your cell. You’ll come out on your own volition.”

Another indifferent scoff as he reached for the pack of sodas that once stood on the table nearby. He looked almost disbelieving at the empty space, soon becoming angry as he rose up on his feet and yelled. “Knock it off, woman.”

“This is gonna sound so childish but seriously, knock what off? Your cap? Because I’m sorry to say...” she held the cap Fortune had phased from his head and into her hand beside her head. “I already have.”

Jotaro’s eyes grew wide for a moment before he reached through the bars at her hand. She only took one step back out of reach as she put the cap onto her own head. “The cell is unlocked, by the way.” Was all she said as she turned to the guard who watched in disbelief as the rest of the junk in Jotaro’s cell phased back to their original places. “May I smoke in here?”

He only shook his head.

“Hey! You annoying bitch! Stop it with the stupid tricks!” Jotaro yelled from behind the bars. Vera continued as if she didn’t even hear him.

“That’s a shame- I’ve never had this brand before.”

In her hand she held the cigarettes from Jotaro’s back pocket. For just a moment she turned her gaze to him, wildly angry eyes meeting her own. “What’s the matter, Jotaro? Familiar pack?”

He didn’t even need to feel his pocket to know it was his. “I said quit the tricks, woman!”

“Oh, then you’re not gonna like this next one.” She smirked as she started walking towards the exit- focusing Fortune onto Jotaro. In her peripherals she could see the extension of his stand’s hand moving past the bars. So she retorted by having Fortune grab hold of the stand’s wrist and force it against the bars with a loud clang. Jotaro’s temper flared and just as he took his first physical step closer to her she had focused Fortune on reverting Jotaro’s body outside of the cell- just like he was last week.

She threw the cap back at him as she stood beside the border wall between the the two cells. “Was that so hard?” She asked as she peered behind her shoulder at the other teenager. He stared in disbelief at his position on the same side of the bars as her.

Vera stepped closer and took hold of his wrist, bringing it up to place his cigarettes into his palm. “You’re welcome. Now, you gonna share a cigarette with me outside and explain why you wanna hide in a dark jail cell or are you gonna do this the hard way?”

“I can’t control the thing that possessed me. For those around me’s safety- I won’t be leaving this cell.”

Vera followed the dramatic bastard as he opened the cell and sat back down on the cot, throwing his legs up once again.

“I mean I saw that ‘spirit’ try and grab your cap back for you so I think you have a bit more control over it than you think but I mean who am I to say, right? Clearly,” she chuckled as she slid her hands into her pockets. “You chose the hard way.”

Vera turned around to take Avdol’s place leaning against the wall, watching the fight unfold before letting Fortune turn back Jotaro’s damages with a wave of the hand.

Fortune’s palm softly rested on Avdol’s shoulder as they left the station, reverting any injuries he could have gotten in the scrap.

“I think Jotaro has burns you could heal.”

Vera’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Nah, he chose violence.”

Avdol laughed, placing a hand on Vera’s shoulder. “I’m surprised at the control you have over your stand. Dare I ask what it had cost you?”

Vera had once told him that every skill she learned, every major thing she had accomplished with Fortune came at a cost.

Most of her healing she had learned on the field hockey team she was forced to participate in- she’d fixed knees and thumbs and sometimes teeth during water breaks but her tricks with time and space came at considerably greater costs.

Some were as simple as having bad luck and slow reflexes that sent her down a flight of stairs too quickly, other times it was tricky little traps set up by boys behind the track field locker rooms.

In a sense it made her smart enough to deal with life, and luckily she only paid a fee per use and when and where the cost would be charged sometimes felt like it would haunt her.

“Just a sprained ankle.” She lied. It was a tale for another day, she wasn’t very excited to tell him the truth in that moment but she would eventually.

At the café they brought Jotaro up to speed with Dio and everything happening in Egypt. Holy also offered her home as a place Vera and Avdol could stay until their departure.

“And when you get up in the morning, you can just roll it up and put it back in the cupboard.” Mrs Kujo cheerfully explained as Vera knelt beside the futon Holy had rolled open for her.

“Thank you, so much. Mrs Kujo.” She bowed her head in thanks- feeling the soft futon gently calling her name to sleep.

“It’s no trouble dear- it’s the least I could do for helpin with my son.”

Vera could see her movements slow down, her hands becoming shakey as she fiddled with the sheets in front of her. The tears streaming down Mrs Kujo’s cheeks broke Vera’s heart as they dripped onto the corner of the comforter. Without second though, Vera got up and brought the tissue box to Holy and tried to comfortingly rub over her back.

“It’s alright Mrs Kujo, you’ve been through a lot.”

Holy’s teary eyes gazed at Vera and even more she wanted to wrap her arms around her and comfort her but she figured that she would be overstepping. “He’s not a bad kid, I promise. He’s really such a sweet boy.”

Vera had to bite her tongue from asking if she was sure- she’d heard how he spoke to Holy, to her it almost seemed unforgivable but she couldn’t deny a mother’s love for their own child. So with a soft smile she answered. “I believe you, Mrs Kujo. Things are just... strange.”

The smile that lit up Holy’s face brought such relief to Vera’s heavy heart and with a dramatic reach, Vera’s neck was caught in Holy’s embrace. “Oh thank you for understanding!”

For a moment Vera had no idea how to react, simply letting the little woman crush her in the hug, swaying happily until she was reminded how long it had been since she’d hugged her own mother... and how she’d never be able to.

“What do you like for breakfast?” Holy suddenly released her from the hug, smiling brightly.

“Uhh-“

“Anything! Even an English breakfast, maybe an American one, anything.”

Vera took hold of Holy’s wrist to try and calm her down. “Show me what you like to eat for breakfast- I’d love to see what a traditional breakfast looks like here.”

She brightened up considerably and like a whorlwind of good nights and sweet dreams she was out the door.

Vera crawled into her futon quietly to try and forget why she hadn’t had a home-cooked breakfast in years.

Bad idea.

With a start she jerked herself up from her nightmare. To cope with the shaking she shot up out of her comforter and grabbed her cigarettes.

She was about to slide her door open but the crack of thunder and the door opening on its own had Fortune leaping from her body defensively. Before her stood Jotaro Kujo, peering down at her with an unreadable expression in the dark.

“Can I help you?” She asked perhaps a bit too aggressively, smoothing her hair back down.

“You made a lot of noise. I came over to make sure you’d shut you up.”

“Do have any idea how much of a creep you sound like? Although I have to admit, I’m not particularly afraid of you.”

She slipped passed the mountain of a man and brought a cigarette to her lips when she stepped outside the room.

“I didn’t mean to come off that way- you sounded like you were crying.”

She turned around to look at Jotaro who had now slid his hands into his sweat pants to watch her walk down the hallway.

“It’s okay, I’ve heard worse. But you need to cut that shit out with your mom- she actually loves you.”

Jotaro’s gaze moved to the garden just beside the elevated wooden hallway, watching the rain drizzle over the little bushes literring the edges of the garden. “I know.”

Vera figured there was more to Jotaro than just being an abrasive asshole- she could probably sit and psycho-analyze him to pieces but she found it best not to pry to far.

“Join me for a smoke break?” She asked as she held the open mouth of her pack out to him.

He padded over and reached in, bringing one to his lips.

[gravelgirty]

Hi could you talk more about caves what you said on that post is really interesting

Sure thing!

First of all, it was an amazing cave I worked in. You never forget that. I'll pick one of my favorite topics,

the FALLOUT SHELTER AGGRAVATION TAX.

Clears throat.

Limestone caves are literally stone libraries in the geologic record of the world. Twice a year the airflow would change and then you'd smell smoke from decrepit old torches dating as far back as 1812. People made saltpeter in these caves, they were natural mines for things that went boom, and one of those 'requirements' meant airflow so you wouldn't suddenly and embarrassingly, drop dead of too much Underground. This is why the coal miners were eternally bemused and asking us questions like airflow. Sometimes you gotta canary. Sometimes you are the canary. This often led to predictable questions that was these old gents trying to be polite, but what they really wanted to know was,

'why the hell are you being paid $10 a trip plus tips to walk us 1.1 miles underground up to 3 times a day and no one has a mortgage gun aimed at your head?'

To which I would say, 'it wasn't quite that bad. If no one shows up at all we get paid $10.' ...Dear Saint Barbara, Chango, and the Gods of Deep Mystery, the things we tell ourselves. $10 a day. Crap. Thank goodness I had Granny's House, dad was paying the property tax, the water was on a well, and garbage was less that $20 a month. A shame we can't afford a TV, but hey, we can stay busy digging up that quarter-acre garden that will keep us fed plus the road kill Deer in the fall.

But the conditions that created saltpeter (I'll go into depth on that later if people are interested) also convinced some weird-ass people in Washington DC that caves were the perfect place to do a DR STRANGELOVE and people could go hide out in the caves, free of...well, nothing, really, because radiation = straight lines +caves, air, irradiated air and water, and everything goes down into the caves...

Look. It made people feel safe, ok? And it wasn't the worst decision the Pentagon ever made, considering they were telling the scientists working with HOT RADIOACTIVE MATTER to stay safe by sticking the stuff on a long pole so they wouldn't have to touch it.

Everybody knows about the bomb shelter President Kennedy was prepared to run to with his family in case of Cold War. It was in the Greenbrier Resort in White Sulphur Springs (I prefer to think of it as the HIDDEN FIGURES birthplace). FYI everybody who lived here knew where it was. There are only so many power stations one measly little resort that cries that it can't afford to pay for its own water bill can keep.

[insert sniffle boohoo sobbing of the pro-confederates who run that place and while I can't be there for you, try to imagine the joy I am stockpiling for the day when we have another traitorous uprising and this time, the resort doesn't get a GO PASS GO by dangerous romantics and is finally burned to the ground.]

Anyway, the important people like the President, his family, his Secret Service, his staff, cook, maid-in-waiting, bootblack and et al got to go bunker down in the luxurious bomb shelter at the resort, which probably wouldn't be very resort-y after a certain point of Castro going, 'fuck you, you whippersnapper Irish Dog' or Khrushchev throwing a little more than his shoe around. I'm not convinced it was that great of a place to hide, really. I mean...they have lightning rods on the trees over there, and believe it or not, cavers in that country have been hit by lightning while underground. Because. Lightning. If it can bake entire acres of potatoes in the field, two subterranean surveyors with metal measuring tape haven't got a prayer.

I want you to know that I can't at this point go into detail (space restrictions) on the importance of all these caves to Union Sympathizers, slaves on the Underground Railroad, and the Far-Righter MAGAS called Confederates. Trust me when I say, if you didn't know where these caves were, you had absolutely no right to know.

In Appalachia, limestone caves were listed on properties and handed down because of their value. Thomas Jefferson made a point of making sure there were lots of caves to provide nitre for the Gunpowder Committee. I don't know if landowners had to pay taxes for having saltpeter caves (probably), but when the Cold War came around, they definitely and cheerfully sold the access rights to the government because...it was the government. I am not in the least bit joking when I tell you there are people over there who are still pissed off over George Washington's Whiskey Rebellion.

If you really want to get into the psyche of Appalachians, go read up every scene Terry Pratchett ever wrote about Lancre in his Discworld books. Just give them more libraries and a LOT of coffee stations.

Oh, dear. I forgot all about the owling and the Prohibition.

Owling = the practice of moving your herds of cattle from one ridge to the next to avoid a higher payment when the taxman came a-calling.

Prohibition = The Second Oldest Profession.

These days, many of the Fallout Shelter caves are being used for...modern needs. Meth labs, if you're a sensationalist, but if you aren't, bear in mind that hiding out stolen cattle and horses still requires big places out in the middle of nowhere. But when Mr. Gov't Man came around and offered cash for the access rights to grand-daddy's old saltpetre cave? Goodness gracious, we know we aren't supposed to take people's money from them because that's a sin, but...taxes...you know how it is... (most of the mountain folk had no real quarrel with Kennedy despite his heathen dog Catholicism because it wasn't his fault he was brought up Catholic, but when it came to the government...well, it was the principle of the thing).

In short order papers were drawn, and shelters were built and good god, they were ugly. Clapboard shantytowns, I swear. They were stockpiles whacked together with off-brand plank and tenpenny nails for where the selected few could bunker up in the cozy, damp, dripping, chilly, dusty, sneezy, probably-warm-from-stray-radiation environs. I have no idea who the Pentagon hated enough that they would send them to these caves. They had a bottleneck opening for easy defense, yes, but there was no defense against puking yourself to death or accidentally taking off your own skin with your uniform at the end of your shift.

YOU THINK I"M KIDDING?? YOU THINK IT IS A COINCIDENCE THAT CLASSIC DR WHO SHOWS DALEK HISTORY IN AN OLD STONE QUARRY? WELCOME ABOARD!

A fallout shelter's stockpile generally consisted of

*High-quality medical equipment, even though some of that stuff had a shelf life of three minutes.

*Radio Equipment. Which was probably a real belly laugh to the folks running the NARO satellite dishes up in Green Bank, because families in the most rural portion of WV (Pocahontas County) spent their evenings parsing Latin and teaching the young lads and lasses the wonders of shortwave and how to rig up your own crystals in case you needed to jackleg your own.

*Food. God. Awful. Food. It was designed to keep you alive, but you can't say anything more charitable about it. Honestly, I'm surprised nobody tried to corner a government contract on dehydrated water.

*Water. Potable water for drinking, but, I should say, I couldn't find any means with which you could make a potable distillery. Or, how much of this potable water was going to be used to rehydrate the ghastly awfulness of the dehydrated food, or the canned goods that included stuff the military couldn't wait to forget. Go ask your grandparents how much canned horse Circa WWII they ate while they served, m'kay?

*Candy. High energy, easily digestible candy. Flavor optional, at the discretion of the same government that made the WWII Chocolate Bar.

*The containers themselves. Yep, they counted. They were heavy metal barrels and tough buckets or small drums, plus the amazingly dense metal and plastic containers for medical kits, candy, and misc. I'm not sure if they had a requirement other than impervious, waterproof, and on sale. In fact, the smaller drums/buckets were supposed to be lined with the plastic used to wrap the other goods, and convert into a toilet.

Cold War comes and goes. I'm sure what happened next is shocking:

1) medical supplies goes missing in the dead of night.

2) Electronics follows. That probably makes the electricians feel good, because...what good would they have done in the wet, dust-filled atmosphere of the caves?

3) Candy. Candy, did you say? I don't remember seeing any candy..?

4) The gradual disappearance of the food rations is mysteriously in proportion to camping trips multitasking with double-dog-dares. Who needs a frat pledge if Freckles here has never been introduced to the joys of Dehydrated Ketchup?

5) If you think the backyard blacksmiths are making forges with tire rims, do you think metal containers stand a chance?

This leaves the barrels of water, but who would want to drink that stuff? It's been sitting around for how long? Ew. And the boards for those shelters...cripes.

This inadvertently makes up a tiny little side bonus for the hard-working tour guide. Because these shelters are usually ridiculously close to the entrance of the tour caves. You have to take your tour group in stages, see, and once they finish gasping and wheezing their way through the first 300 steps, you have to take their minds off how miserable they are and pause at the shelter with your flashlight, and describe this little chapter of history. By this time the bats are hanging off the boards (your chance to remind them of the exorbitant federal fines for hurting these little mosquito-hunters), the occasional lost salamander, and the beginnings of the Dreaded Cave Cricket (ten minutes with these little monsters and you'll never think pink is an effete color ever again).

And the mold. There are patches of mold the guides have been watching for YEARS. Some of them have even bothered to look them up, because...tourists. They love to stump the guides and use it as an excuse for not tipping you because you haven't taken a Master's in The Encompassing Topic of Karst Everything and are clearly a dumbass, hah-hah I'll spend my money in the overpriced gift shop, peasant.

But no, folks. If you ask them one more damn time if they're sure all the candy and drugs are gone...we're too tired to take your bleeping bleep bleep tip anyway.

[cursewoodrecap]

Session 23: Medical Ethics

Y’all ever been to college?

Our new friend Vigdor has just pulled a pale, twitching human leg out of a poster tube, sheepishly admitting to Valeria that it’s his own.

Valeria blinks at it. “Well, it doesn’t appear to be bleeding demons, so that’s good?”

Shoshana sticks her head in the door, and has to pause to take in the sight. “Uh, bruh? Bruh? I have questions. Is that yours? I mean, like, yes, you HAVE it, but was it attached to-“

“That’s a bit tricky? It was amputated twice.”

“Twice?!”

“Once from me, and then, well, um. Once from an amalgam of sewn together body parts?”

(Gral and Shoshana pile into the room, because Oh, Lore?)

“When I was in the swamp, we were fighting a bunch of zombies led by this particularly nasty undead guy. We called it the Wailing Wight. At first it was just the usual undead hordes, but then a local leatherworker was found, torn apart and harpooned every which way, half his limbs torn off and stolen. After that, we started getting attacked by stitched together abominations cobbled together from human and animal pieces. I was there just trying to help the villagers, being a doctor and all. But that’s when I lost my actual limbs.”

“They got stolen, like the leatherworker’s?”

“I had to chop them off. Which, for the record, is not a fun time? The Wight’s harpoon has a kind of poison that rots everything it touches. So I had to amputate or, like, die. So I cut them off and his zombies, uh, stole them. And I managed to get one back? Kind of a long story. I don’t know how I recognized it, but – I guess I know my own leg like the back of my hand? Now I’m taking it back to Sturmhearst. There’s a weird fluid inside it; I want to study what’s going on with that so we can take care of the nastyboy in the swamp.”

“Well, I am generally against nastyboys,” says Shoshana, poking his foot in the ticklish bit. It squirms at her.

We’re headed to Sturmhearst anyway, so traveling together seems reasonable. We think about taking Fun Key Shortcuts, but that could backfire spectacularly, so we’ll play it safe and go the normal, boring way.

In the morning, we head downstairs. The inn is trashed. The stalwart barkeep Rene is not there; instead there’s a young elf sweeping out what debris he can. As we grab breakfast and the young fellow thanks us over and over for saving his friend’s life, Vigdor awkwardly wanders around casting Mending on chairs and tables that got a little too close to the tentacles and chainsaws. Shoshana doesn’t really do non-destructive magic, but she slips the barkeep some gold for repairs.

Vigdor’s too lopsided for a horse, so he’s gonna hop on in our cart. He’s very taken with the Eyegis, poking at it with fascination. “You can see the blood vessels in the eyes, despite no source for a blood supply! Do they have tear ducts? Have you ever seen the shield produce tears? Can you make it cry?”

Valeria gets very uncomfortable with this line of questioning and turns the eyes back into painted ones, put off by a Weird Stranger gettin’ all up in her business. Gral distracts him by asking about his fancy metal limbs.

Vigdor goes full technobabble on how the runes and machinery work. “Well, there’s three different kind of magical actuators on each joint, and they act as conduits for the dilithium crystals-” He knows the details secondhand from Bjork and none of us speak robotics, so if he ever needs serious repairs he’ll have to bring them back to Sturmhearst for the engineers to take a look at.

Valeria knows a bit about Jotunn runesmithing, but she’s never heard of it working to this degree of precision; before, she’d only heard of stuff like boats that row themselves, or a peg leg that has a little extra articulation. These are fully actuated limbs!

Val checks if the limbs are the same metal as our space wrench, but nope, they look like completely normal everyday metals. She’s not gonna inspect further, because she has RESPECT, unlike SOME people.

(“Hey, I didn’t try to pry the eyes open or anything!” Vigdor protests.)

She does notice one thing, though: Valeria recognizes runes from most magic systems even though she doesn’t know them well enough to use; her sister studied magic for a long time, so she knows what they look like. There’s one elaborate rune that appears on both Vigdor’s forearm and leg that is of no origin she’s ever seen.  

“How long’d it take Bjork to build this thing?” Shoshana asks, squinting at Vigdor’s kneecap.

“Well, I was unconscious for a good bit of it so…between a week and 2 months? He was already working on it when I, uh, had to amputate.”

“…did you KNOW you were gonna wake up with those things on?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. It took a while ‘cause the original blueprints they found were for somebody, like…really short for a human or really tall for a halfling? Something in between. Bjork had to resize the whole model to fit a human.”

“He, uh, FOUND blueprints?

“I can’t imagine he’d have made blueprints for a person who didn’t exist? It was all proportioned very strangely. I don’t know too much about it, you’d have to ask Professor Bjork.”

(One of the players asks if the strange rune, perhaps, says ISTC in a language the characters don’t know. It DOES, and we’re all very pleased with ourselves for previous-campaign references.)

The long road stretches on before us, and we have plenty of time to talk as we spend a week or two heading north toward the coast. We fill Vigdor in on the four flavors of Curse and the concept of the Prisoners, and that we suspect there’s major Key nonsense going on up at the university. (Heh heh, “major key.”)

Vigdor and Shoshana bond over being locals. Why are foreigners so weird about trolls?

Vigdor really, really wants to look at Twombly’s glasses. We explain to him that the Key could take his desire for knowledge and turn him into a cackling, dimension-hopping madman with a few extra eyeballs. He still wants to play with the glasses. Valeria protectively hides the Key map, just in case, flashing her Hunt fangs at anyone who asks about it.

After like a week of pestering everybody, Vigdor gets to look at the glasses. Disappointingly, when not looking at the Key map, the colorful lenses just make everything look slightly more those colors. Maybe Gral’s lutestrings look weird, but that could be the placebo effect. He tries flipping around the many lenses in different combinations, and finds that all of them make him look absolutely ridiculous.

Eventually after many days of travel, we can smell the ocean and the distinctive stench of a large number of humans living in one place. Vigdor takes in the familiar sight of his college hometown. Shoshana is dumbfounded that this many people can live on top of each other, while Valeria thinks it’s a quaint little town.

Up to the west, Sturm Castle squats on a cliff above the city, like a big hippo of knowledge. It looks like it was once a reasonable castle shape, but it’s had new wings and towers built onto it haphazardly until it’s a weird sprawling network of jammed-together architecture. By the edge of the cliff, in one of the more sensibly-built sections, a majestic lighthouse beams out over the bay. In the city below, the largest building appears to be a grand temple, with its roof carved in the shape of an open book. The perimeter of the city is outlined by strange wooden and metal towers, two or three stories tall with conical brass roofs.

Eh. It’s only got one castle, so it can’t be that good of a city compared to Aurentium.

Our cart is briefly stopped for a quick examination at the gate by a friendly city guardsman. He’s flanked by two of the same enormous owl-masked guards we saw accompanying Quercus and Ulmus. “Hi, welcome to Sturmhearst, folks! What brings you here?”

We all awkwardly try not to look at Vigdor’s leg bag.

“I’m, uh, here to visit Dr. Emily Thorpe?” he tries.

“Oh, visiting the university. Don’t need yer life story. Where you stayin’? I can recommend some inns. Oh, and check out the Scholar’s Temple while yer here!” He hands us a brochure from the Sturmhearst Tourism Board and steps back. “ALL RIGHT BIG GUYS, LET EM THROUGH!”

The owl guards don’t move.

“Oh, uh, I mean –“ He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a whistle. “Lemme see if I can remember how the doc told me to do this.” He blows a few sharp notes on the whistle, and the owl guards promptly step off the road to let us through.

Huh.

Vigdor makes an investigation check on those guards, who definitely weren’t around back when he was in school. They’re pretty bulky for humans – no, honestly, they’d be bulky even for goliaths. He’d heard a story from Professor Bjork that the school was hiring goliath mercs and dressing them in owl masks, but the professor had sounded like he hadn’t believed it much. Supposedly they’re silent because they don’t speak the language, but Vigdor’s pretty sure Bjork speaks Jotunn, so that excuse doesn’t quite hold up.

Once we’re out of the guards’ earshot, Gral pulls a huddle. “Vigdor, the Key’s a more recent influence, so let us know about anything new or significantly more abundant – that’s where we’ll need to search.”

Vigdor hmms. “The big brass towers weren’t here before. And the owl guys didn’t used to be a thing.”

Gral cuts another glance back to the owl guards, considering. “…How much of a faux pas is it to remove a Sturmhearst person’s mask?”

“I mean, if you’re dealing with the plague, it’s kind of a dick move? And dangerous? But most people – it’s like, the same rudeness of grabbing someone’s hat or jacket. For some people it’s badge of honor or superiority, y’know, how amazing they were to get through the gauntlet of Sturmhearst. But mostly it’s a practical tool of the job. We’re not, like, afraid to show our faces.”

Gral nods. “So you wouldn’t have to duel them, then.”

“W-what?”

“Oh, with bards it’s like ‘you are not deserving of your title’ and you have to duel about it. You know, like, how dare you slander my name, I’ll have to fight you for my honor?”

“Oh, uh, no, nothing like that. The mask is proof of office, that’s all.”

Before we get investigating, though, it’s late and we should rest. Vigdor wasn’t a palling-around-town type, but he rolls a nat 20 and knows the best inn in the city – not one of those touristy places on the square; the best-kept-secret on a side street that only the locals and regulars know about.

We have a lovely night around the docks of Sturmhearst. Shoshana spends like fifteen minutes just staring out to sea, because they MAKE boats that big???? This much water even EXISTS????? There’s a dragonborn ship from Aurentium, a goliath ship from Jotunhein, a couple of Galwan freighters, and even a ship crewed by colorful macaw aarakocra. (History check: while the Aquilians mostly died out, some of the ground-based aarakocra cultures survived. Valeria’s met macaw traders before in Aurentium; they tell lots of stories and do GREAT impressions.)

Valeria, meanwhile, holies some ocean water. They say Galwan clerics swear by holy seawater; salt repels demons, right? It’s gross harbor water but, whatever, it’s holy now. She also beats a sea captain at Man-go, presumably dock style. The inn’s equipped for foreign travelers, so it’s got a whole bar of draconic and goblin spices!

Gral, meanwhile, discovers the inn is near a bath house and enjoys finding out what a sauna is.

Morning comes, and Sturmhearst U awaits. Vigdor knows the main campus has the colleges of Engineering, Science, and Medicine, while the satellite campus across the bay houses the college of Ethics, which includes humanities like economics and history.

Valeria rolls for Order of the Rose knowledge. The Order actually has an arrangement with Sturmhearst when they’re working in Valdia – whenever the Order is sent on disaster relief, some Sturmhearst ethicists are sent to help coordinate. Valeria’s never worked with them personally, but the impression she’s gotten from her fellow knights is Not Great. From what she’s heard, they’re supposed to do triage and help direct the knights, but it seems like they spend the whole time sitting around debating absolutely horrible things. “Hey, if we brewed up some necromancy, could we use the skeletons of plague victims to transport supplies without spreading the infection?” Apparently they just sit around in corners debating whether that kind of shit is kosher or not, without ever actually DOING anything.

Also ethicists wear white instead of black like most Sturmhearst scholars, which is just pretentious. We then poke fun at an Order of the Rose knight calling anyone else pretentious.

Vigdor studied at the College of Medicine; he’s a doctor. But that’s not where he’s taking the leg.

“Why not Medicine? I mean, it’s a human body part, innit?” Shoshana asks.

“It’s…I have some concerns…regarding the, um. So, along with this leg, my arm was stolen, right? Not long after the arm was stolen, the sewn-together amalgams got a lot, uh, cleaner.”

We stare at him.

“…as if whatever stitched them together had my medical training.”

…oh.

“I’m a little hesitant taking that info to the College of Medicine,” he admits.

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of ‘for the greater good’ stuff with the College of Medicine sometimes. The College of Ethics keeps them in check. Anyway, there’s actually this thaumochemist I want to take a look at it.”

(We’d know the discipline as alchemy, but she hates that. She’ll go on a whole tirade about it. Somebody yells “Full Metal Thaumochemist” and we accidentally take a commercial break. We’ll never get tired of that joke.)

More of those owl guards are at the door, supervised by a businesslike white-coated member of the College of Ethics. His mask is a bit more abstract than the ones we’re used to; not modeled after a bird face like the regular scholars’. He lets Vigdor in with no problem, though he’s a bit suspicious of the rest of us. We’re with a doctor, though, so he’ll let it slide. “Welcome to Sturmhearst, may your visit be enlightening.” He does the same whistle we heard before and the guards step aside. Gral’s a string guy, he can figure out the notes easily enough but he doesn’t whistle.

“Nothing goes on here without Ethics knowing about it, huh,” Gral observes.

More owl guards are stomping around, some carrying heavy objects. Vigdor knows where he’s going, but asks an owl guard for directions, as an experiment. The owl guard doesn’t even notice him. He steps in front of the guard, who just steps around him very politely.

The castle is a nightmare to navigate, like Hoeska, but we have an expert tour guide. “The old keep, the part that used to be a castle – that’s where all the 101 classes are and the whole working hospital. All the additions are laid out super weird, and then there’s the tunnels underneath. The Chem students had WILD parties down there, they brewed up all SORTS of stuff. The lighthouse is a real lighthouse, but it’s also where admin is, and the dean’s and headmaster’s offices. Oh! DO NOT cross the librarians. Each college has its own library? Like, theoretically they share the whole collection, but which college keeps which books is kind of a blood sport…”

Shoshana and Gral hang back, feeling out of place. “Bards don’t really have a college, exactly?” Gral explains. “It’s more of a pilgrimage. I met the elders of each village and they imparted wisdom upon me?”

Shosh feels like an uneducated hick even by that standard.

We take a hairpin turn in one of the Science buildings and run into Professor Quercus! Or at least someone with a bird mask and a similar voice, chatting with some other masked scholar. “Ah! Yes! We made a lot of excellent discoveries before we started to run into problems – you see, there hadn’t been an event in some time, but if we could get in there to the source, we could really – well, my goodness! These are the people I was telling you about, who gave me such wonderful notes!” Quercus turns to us, sounding rather delighted. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. Welcome to the world of knowledge! What brings you here? I thought you were having adventures and derring-do!”

“Well, it turns out our adventures led here!” Gral tells him.

Quercus nods enthusiastically. “I’d show you around, but I rather need to speak to the bursar! If you need anything, I’m sure you can find my offices without too much problem. And please, if you’ve encountered any interesting monsters, I’d love to hear details! Especially if you have samples!” Despite his keen excitement, Professor Quercus rolls a four and fails to notice our Shusva accessories.

“If you ever need a cup of tea and a biscuit, you’re welcome to stop by my office! I’d be more than happy to speak with you! And if you could do me a favor – well, I wouldn’t mind having you with me when I speak to the bursar! See, our expedition to Holzog has hit a bit of a snag. The events with that mist stopped happening, you see. Luckily, we managed to identify which house you were going to, and we were all set to investigate, but then the Baroness put a squadron of those damnable Condotierri to prevent us getting in – “

Gral shrugs, deliberately casual. “I don’t know why you’d go back; there’s not much to see besides what’s already in the notes.”

(Vigdor immediately rolls insight to see if Gral is lying. Unfortunately for him, bards are excellent liars.)

“Anyway. The bursar’s giving me an earful about continuing to fund the expedition. I’m considering withdrawing from Holzog and asking him to redirect the funds into a different project! For example, lots of interesting monsters have been seen around Barroch lately!”

Yes, definitely, we want him to go somewhere that’s not a Tempting Key Portal. Valeria and Gral tag-team Persuasion checks to sell him on interesting cases of monsters we’ve heard of around Barroch. If we’re fuzzy on the details – well, all the more reason to have someone get out there and take a closer look!

Quercus is rather taken by the idea. “If you would, Mr. Duu –“

“Um, actually, Duu is the tribe, my family’s name is-“

“-yes, if you could write me some letters, I might find it useful making the acquaintance of the locals while setting up camp. Sturmhearst hasn’t established an official relationship to your people yet’”

Gral agrees to write up a formal letter explaining the mission of Sturmhearst and the expedition to make introductions a bit smoother; the word of a bard will go a long way in gaining the cooperation of the orcs of Barroch. He’ll do a personal letter of introduction for Quercus, and a general letter to Shieldeater’s administration to explain who the heck these weird bird people are.

“Wonderful! Bring it by my office!” He gives us directions that make NO sense to anyone but Vigdor. We’re pretty sure several of those compass directions aren’t real words?

“Oh, and if you see an angry tall woman stomping around, tell her I’m not here! She’s mad at me for some reason I can’t discern. Good day!”

He scuttles off, presumably to hide.

We definitely want the gossip on that – Ulmus was mad at him about funding, and she definitely dissed his field of study. Is this what academia is like?

Vigdor confirms that the professors have all kind of weird beefs, interdepartmental politics, and personal feuds. “One of my professors gave me a B- in amputation – shows what he knows – purely because I was taking some classes outside the College of Medicine and he got all offended. It’s a lot of politics and bullshit, they’re all more concerned about their careers and publishing than actually important stuff.”

We find a door with a brass plaque: Dr Emily Thorpe, Thaumochemist. There’s a paper list tacked to her door with a list of courses: “Intro to Potion Brewing,” “Principles of Alchemy Thaumochemistry”

Vigdor knocks. “Yes, who’s there? Come in!” a voice calls.

“It’s Vigdor! Vigdor Gavril!”

“Ah, Vigdor!” A halfling woman in the requisite bird mask waves from behind a counter where she’s handling a set of proper Movie Science bubbling beakers and flasks. “Yes, you sent me that letter! You had something ‘interesting’ for me!”

“Yes, and you will see why I couldn’t be more detailed!”

She notices his metal arm as he starts pulling open his heavy waterproofed case. “Oh! I heard that Professor Bjork was giving you his prototype! How’s it working?”

“They’re loud and heavy and uncomfortable sometimes, but I have limbs! Can’t complain! But then I, uh, found one of my limbs again.”

He goes over to an open table and pulls out his entire-ass leg with a flourish, plus vials of hair and blood and strange unidentified liquids. Her eyes widen.

“Ah, this is yours!” She watches his toes wiggle. “Well, you don’t see that every day.”

“Yeah, I found it stitched to some kind of unholy undead abomination.”

“And that explains the Knight of the Rose. Hello, Kyr.”

“Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service!”

“Dr. Emily Thorpe, at your service as well, I guess? Pardon the mess in my lab, it’s not much but it’s home. Hand me that vial?” She pulls out a syringe and takes a sample of not blood, but oily black liquid, from the leg. “It will take some time, but I can write up a thaumaturgical profile without much difficulty. Do you mind if I keep it?”

“You can hang on to it. But I would appreciate discretion.”

“Yes, this will stay between me, your friends, and – oh, this is Hugo, he’s my teaching assistant. He’s been helping since the school was mobilized.” She turns to Vigdor’s clearly uneducated hick friends (not you, Valeria, you’re very fancy) and explains:

“In times of crisis, the University turns from education to innovation. Were this a disease, we’d be researching cures! If demonic, we’d be researching weapons or dimensional banishment. We haven’t really received direct orders this time, so everybody is doing their own thing, which I can’t say I mind. Mostly I’ve been helping other researchers with the practical application of their theorems.”

She scribbles out a hasty list. “Hugo, if you can go to the library and put these books on order? The Vigmar and the Auspelius especially would be useful, but don’t let the librarians kill anyone over them. And the Principles of Advanced Anatomy – tell them I won’t ask. But I do need it.” The grad student nods and hustles out of the room.

(Shoshana insights, out of paranoia. Hugo’s a good egg, though he might refer to thaumochemistry as alchemy.)

“Now, Dr. Gavril, do you want this leg back? How intact-“

“Want it back? Like, in the abstract, or on my body?”

She pulls out a vial of bubbling acid. “I’d like to put some of this on it and I’d like to see what happens.”

He blanches slightly. “Uh. Um. I have some proprietary-“

“Aw, no acid then,” she grumbles, stowing the acid with an audible sigh.

“Only do something you would do to living person’s leg. That they would survive!”

“How would I know? I’m a chemist, this is only, like, my second dead person!” She pauses. “…well, fifth.”

Shoshana starts looking around at all the alchemy equipment curiously. Everything here is clearly labeled with numbers, and letters that feel like numbers, and complex formulae, which hedgewitch potionery doesn’t really account for.

There’s a knock at the door. “Ah, that must be Hugo. Come in!”

Valeria instinctively body-blocks the leg from view.

It is not Hugo. In walk 3 white-clad ethicists. The gentleman at the front is in fancier robes – we suspect he’s the kind of fellow who has tenure – and he wears a powdered judge’s wig atop his mask. We immediately don’t like it. His two companions peer around the lab – one has a jeweler’s loupe built into the lens of his mask, and the other is carrying a big chime with runes carved into it, clearly a magic item of some sort.

“Dr Thorpe,” the leader intones.

“Sorbus,” she replies disdainfully.

“I see you have guests, is now a bad time?”

“Is it ever a good time?” Emily makes a point of tending to her samples and beakers busily.

“I suppose not. We have come to ask a few follow-up questions. Have you been visited at all by Professor Matthias Macker? Has he followed up on the project you were working on together?”

“I told you, no! I had no potions strong or precise enough for what he needed, and he’s never spoken to me since. That was months ago!”

“And no one has seen him since then. You understand why we need to know what you discussed.”

“Yeah, not since you quarantined the whole surgical wing!”

“That is not what I’m asking about. Has Macker’s assistant Greta Ruble visited you?”

“No. She’s a good kid, though, don’t hassle her.”

“We are simply making sure she is not a danger.”

Emily sputters angrily. “A danger to who?!”

“I cannot tell you that.” He turns to Valeria. “Kyr, it is always a pleasure to see a member of the Order here. I suppose if you’re here we can be assured nothing… unethical is happening,” he says, unpleasantly oily. “I am Professor Rigmor Sorbus of the College of Ethics; I lecture on legal and judicial ethics. These are my assistants, Charles and Pippin.”

Valeria bows with the precise degree of politeness required. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance. In these times of mobilization, it falls to us as ethicists to supervise our colleagues’ noble efforts. Please, I implore you: if you see anything untoward or suspiciously unusual, I request you report it to the nearest representative of the College of Ethics.”

Emily butts in. “What happened to Eric Pelbort, his other assistant?”

“Mr. Pelbort has transferred to the College of Ethics and is assisting us with some research. We will let you know if that changes.” He tells her dismissively. “Kyr Argent, the College of Ethics has always been proud of our long association with the Order, and I would like to extend our deepest condolences for the tragedy of the Crusade. Should you have need of any assistance whatsoever, do not hesitate to ask. Our offices are on the satellite campus across the bay. If you were to visit, I’m sure many would love to speak to a paladin of the Order of the Rose.”

“We have business here, but I might be able to make time to stop by,” she equivocates.

“Very well. I will let you all get back to whatever it is you’re doing with that leg,” Sorbus says, turning neatly on his heel and taking his leave, his toadies hurrying in his wake.

(Yes, you guessed it: That was Professor Rowan, with his Tort Wig and his assistants Pip Loupe and Chime Charles.)

“Those guys give me the creeps,” Emily grumbles. “They used to be fine, but lately they’ve been doing this whole inquisitor act.”

Vigdor’s always known these guys as douchey blowhards. But now they’re douchey blowhards with AUTHORITY.

There’s always been a divide between Ethics and the other three colleges roughly the size of the harbor! The sciences don’t believe in debate, they believe in experimentation! Anyone who can spend an entire week talking without action is wasting time and breath. The College of Medicine thinks even less of them – they just get in the way of progress!

(IRL we all respect medical ethics, but Sturmhearst WAS founded on a fine tradition of graverobbing and leeches.)

Vigdor is primarily a surgeon, or he was, when he had two fully functional hands. (Two players at once: “HE GOT DR STRANGED!”) He had quite a few classes with Macker, the chair of the surgery department. Most people didn’t like the guy, except his surgical grad students who would defend him to the death. A bit of a hardass about proper procedure, but that’s probably not a bad quality for a surgeon. He was a local institution, so it’s pretty alarming he’s somehow gone rogue.

“His whole lab was quarantined?”

“The whole teaching wing, actually,” Emily tells us.

“Are there people in there? Some kind of sickness?”

“Not that I’ve heard. Ethics just put guards outside the labs and blocked everyone from going in. They’ve done it to a couple places around the school recently. The excuse is that someone was doing ‘unsafe experimentation’ that’s ‘poisoned the area’ or something?”

Wack. “How long have these quarantines lasted?”

“They don’t really end? A couple stopped after a few months, but some have been there for a year! Nobody goes in or out. Sometimes the white coats go in, but it’s pretty rare and they don’t stay long.”

“Is that what all the guards are for? Where’d they all come from?” Vigdor asks.

“Medicine used to be the ones, uh, hiring them.” (A quick insight roll notes that she hesitates on the phrase “hiring.”) “Lots of them still answer to whoever they were originally assigned to. But recently Dean Chidor from the College of Ethics took over that whole program, so a lot of the newer ones answer primarily to the ethicists. I mean, they all dress the same, so it’s kinda hard to tell? I haven’t asked a lot of questions, I’ve been trying to keep my head down since the whole thing with Macker.”

“What actually happened with him?”

“He’d been acting weird for a while,” she confides as she starts sticking pins in the leg and wiring them to a voltage generator. “He’d been working on something, some kind of extreme surgery – I think he was looking into a method of surgically removing Curse corruption. He was hitting roadblocks, though; he called in me and Alma Ulmus, who’s a College of Medicine bigwig.”

“Yeah, we met her in Bad Herzfeld!”

“I heard she’s here again, stalking around the halls complaining about funding. She knows more about his project than I do. Anyway, Macker sent me requirements for a healing potion he was gonna administer as part of some surgical procedure. I couldn’t get anything as powerful or precise as he needed. I’m a thaumochemist; I don’t know medicine that well. So it was beyond me to do that amount of gross tissue damage repair as controllably as they wanted it. I mean, I made some pretty nice innovations as far as the theory of potioncrafting, I’m hoping to get published as soon as it goes to peer review.

“But I couldn’t do what he needed, and eventually I got shut out of the project. Then one day he vanished. Alma set off for Bad Herzfeld and Macker stopped coming out of his lab. His assistants were still going in and out, but not long after that, the ethicists quarantined the place.”

“Has anyone else been quarantined?” Valeria asks.

“People from all three colleges got hit. I dunno about other ethicists, I haven’t heard about them quarantining anything of their own. But everyone else has. A group of engineering students were building a defense system to be deployed out to the Scar, and all of them got quarantined. Here in my department, Dr. Vilman – remember him? Stupid goatee, did a lot of stuff with crystals? – got shut down. Sometimes they quarantine the whole lab; sometimes they just shut down a project and everyone working on it gets a ‘guest lecture position’ over in Ethics. Sorbus said they got one of Macker’s assistants, Eric Pelbort. He had another one, Greta Ruble, but I guess she’s given them the slip.”

Emily’s got experiments to do on that leg, so we’ll let her get to it. As we head out, Gral asks one last question. “What’s up with those guards, by the way? Why do they only respond to those whistles?

“Uhhhh,” she says, as we fail our persuasion check. “They, er, don’t speak very good Valdian. Mostly foreigners, goliaths, the like. The whistles get their attention.”

Gral sighs and doesn’t push it. Vigdor’s already making plans to pickpocket a whistle. Valeria, since she has a direct invite to talk to the ethicists, considers the unheard-of paladin approach of Just Asking Them Directly.

First, though, Vigdor wants to check out the quarantine of Macker’s lab; he knew that professor well, and we’re all curious what’s been going down.

We walk on over to the surgical wing to case the joint. There’s a single owl guard blocking the hallway, presiding over a small barricade. A pleasant sandwich board sign states “Area quarantined by College of Ethics, apologies for the inconvenience.”

We try to walk in and the enormous guard holds out a hand to stop us. Shoshana tries to wiggle around him, like a cat trying to get at your dinner, but he impassively blocks her every move.

Gral tries a smoother approach. He begins with small talk; the guard doesn’t even twitch. He starts asking prying questions about the surgical ward. No response. Fine, then: he switches to Orcish, a sinister undertone weaving through his voice as he uses Words of Terror.

An insight roll reveals completely unchanged body language.

“Either they’re immune to fear or not a humanoid,” Gral reports back. “Not a single emotion. Definitely not goliath mercenaries.”

“Tryin’ to talk your way into the surgical wing?” says another chatty passerby. “Good luck. They got all the medical cadavers locked up in there and they won’t let us in.”

(Cadavers? Oh shit, we bet that’s the guard factory, theorize the players.)

“Oh, are you a med student?”

“Yeah. I work with Professor Herberts, or I used to, anyway. We needed a couple cadavers to do this comparison study about spleens; we got some weird ones from out in the wood, we compare spleens to see if place with thing don’t worry about it; need control spleen. And then these BIG DUMB IDIOTS wouldn’t let us in, and Herbert got transferred to the College of Ethics all of a sudden. He’s been gone a couple months.”

“How long do professors usually transfer for?” asks Gral.

“I mean, they usually pop over to give a lecture or two and come back by the end of the day.”

(Vigdor happens to remember that the College of Ethics also runs an asylum. They live in a big spooky castle and do dissections with guts and stuff, it can do a number on your head! Some of the ethicists have branched into the field of psychology. No reason to mention this when people are having extended stays on the ethics campus, of course…)

The student shrugs. “I gotta get to lecture. If you manage to get in there, any chance you can bring me back a couple spleens?”

We wave goodbye noncommittally, though Vigdor insists he can pop a spleen out of a corpse like a yolk from an egg. He’s a good surgeon!

Anyway, Vigdor went to school here, and the dice are on his side; he knows a side path through an old abandoned classroom into the surgical suite. He pops the lock on the door easily; all the undergrads used to go this way when slipping into lecture late, to get past the TA keeping track of tardies.

The guard is in earshot but facing the other direction, and he’s not even blinking, much less scanning around. Gral casts Silence on us and our very clanky party slips by easily.

Shosh sticks her head into the TA’s office. Nothing really stands out, but she swipes some interesting-looking notes from the desk drawers to look at later.

Meanwhile, Gral and Vigdor go into Macker’s office. The desk is an absolute mess, which is very unlike the guy Vigdor used to know. There are wheeled chalkboards crammed into the office, covered in scribbles and anatomical diagrams. Paging through the notes and glancing over the chalkboard, Vigdor makes a decent medicine check and can at least figure out what problem Macker was working on.

Based on what Dr. Emily told us, Macker’s trying to develop a surgical procedure. The issue is that whatever he’s doing would cause so much physical trauma that it’d kill the patient, and he’s looking for some way to prevent that. There are lists of healing options: formulas, spells, potions, nonmagical stabilization methods to keep the patient alive while various tissues are extracted from the body.

Gral’s unimpressed. Healing methods? That’s pretty tame for forbidden knowledge.

To Vigdor’s experienced eyes, this stuff looks mega-advanced and highly experimental, but Gral’s right – it’s not anything you’d scramble to censor.

Weirdly enough, the place doesn’t look ransacked, only disheveled and a little dusty. Macker’s notes haven’t been moved since he was here. Maybe this isn’t what the ethicists were after?

We head to cadaver storage while Valeria keeps watch. Cadaver storage is creepy as hell, but only because it’s, y’know, a room full of cadavers. A lot of the bodies, kept stable with Gentle Repose, appear to be Cursed, but that’s hardly weird. What’s so crazy they’d keep it hidden from everyone?

Vigdor opens the door to the dissection labs, Gral’s Silence deadening any ominous warning he might have had from the room beyond. Yes, the table here’s been recently used, and the bizarre symbols scrawled on the chalkboards have spilled onto the surrounding floor and walls, but Vigdor’s eyes are drawn to where the chalkboard peels away like skin to reveal a strange, multicolored, impossible space. The floor begins to take the shape of a stone hand that projects out into the shimmering void, joining a daisy-chain of enormous hands that form a walkway out to a marble platform floating in space.

Gral takes his Silence spell with him and runs to get Valeria.

Eyes starry, watching entire worlds and impossible shapes spinning through iridescent mists, Vigdor takes his first heady hit of Key taint.

As we cut session, Valeria considers that the ethicists may actually have a point.

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felszabadított: 2021-03-24 Runtime: 0 percek Műfaj: Akció, Sci-Fi Csillag: Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Kyle Chandler, Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry Rendező: Terry Rossio, Eric McLeod, Ronald R. Reiss, Sarah Halley Finn, Owen Paterson

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its somewhat ironic that a movie about time travel can’t be reviewed properly until your future self rewatches the movie. It’s bold of Nolan to make such a thoroughly dense blockbuster. He assumes people will actually want to see ~Tenet more than once so they can understand it properly, which some may not. This movie makes the chronology of Inception look as simplistic as tic-tac-toe. Ergo, it’s hard for me to give an accurate rating, without having seen it twice, as I’m still trying to figure out whether everything does indeed make sense. If it does, this movie is easily a 9 or 10. If it doesn’t, it’s a 6. It’s further not helped by the fact that the dialogue in the first 15 minutes of the movie is painfully hard to understand / hear. Either they were behind masks; they were practically mumbling; the sound effects were too loud; or all of the above. The exposition scenes are also waayyy too brief for something this complex — a problem also shared with Interstellar actually. (Interstellar had this minimalist exposition problem explaining Blight, where if you weren’t careful, you’d miss this one sentence / scene in the entire movie explaining that Blight was a viral bacteria: “Earth’s atmosphere is 80% nitrogen, we don’t even breathe nitrogen. Blight does, and as it thrives, our air gets less and less oxygen”). I guess it’s a Nolan quirk. Hopefully, a revision of the film audio sorts the sound mixing out. I do like the soundtrack, but it’s too loud initially. I liked all the actors. You think John Washington can’t act at first, but he can, and he grows on you as the film progresses. And Pattinson is his usual charming self. Elizabeth is a surprise treat. And so on. Its worth a watch either way. See it with subtitles if you can. And definitely don’t expect to fully understand whats going on the first time around. Its one hell of a complicated film. It will be very hard for an average viewer to gather all the information provided by this movie at the first watch. But the more you watch it, more hidden elements will come to light. And when you are able to put these hidden elements together. You will realize that this movie is just a “masterpiece” which takes the legacy of Christopher Nolan Forward If I talk about acting, Then I have to say that Robert Pattinson has really proved himself as a very good actor in these recent years. And I am sure his acting skills will increase with time. His performance is charming and very smooth. Whenever he is on the camera, he steals the focus John David Washington is also fantastic in this movie. His performance is electrifying, I hope to see more from him in the future. Other characters such as Kenneth Branagh, Elizabeth, Himesh Patel, Dimple Kapadia, Clémence Poésy have also done quite well. And I dont think there is a need to talk about Michael Caine Talking about Music, its awesome. I dont think you will miss Hans Zimmer’s score. Ludwig has done a sufficient job. There is no lack of good score in the movie Gotta love the editing and post production which has been put into this movie. I think its fair to say this Nolan film has focused more in its post production. The main problem in the movie is the sound mixing. Plot is already complex and some dialogues are very soft due to the high music score. It makes it harder to realize what is going on in the movie. Other Nolan movies had loud BGM too. But Audio and dialogues weren’t a problem My humble request to everyone is to please let the movie sink in your thoughts. Let your mind grasp all the elements of this movie. I am sure more people will find it better. Even those who think they got the plot. I can bet they are wrong. ~Tenet is the long awaited new movie from Christopher Nolan. The movie that’s set to reboot the multiplexes post-Covid. It’s a manic, extremely loud, extremely baffling sci-fi cum spy rollercoaster that will please a lot of Nolan fan-boys but which left me with very mixed views. John David Washington (Denzel’s lad) plays “The Protagonist” — a crack-CIA field operative who is an unstoppable one-man army in the style of Hobbs or Shaw. Recruited into an even more shadowy organisation, he’s on the trail of an international arms dealer, Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh in full villain mode). Sator is bullying his estranged wife Kat (Elizabeth Debicki) over custody of their son (and the film unusually has a BBFC warning about “Domestic Abuse”). Our hero jets the world to try to prevent a very particular kind of Armageddon while also keeping the vulnerable and attractive Kat alive. This is cinema at its biggest and boldest. Nolan has taken a cinema ‘splurge’ gun, filled it with money, set it on rapid fire, removed the safety and let rip at the screen. Given that Nolan is famous for doing all of his ‘effects’ for real and ‘in camera’, some of what you see performed is almost unbelievable. You thought crashing a train through rush-hour traffic in “Inception” was crazy? You ain’t seen nothing yet with the airport scene! And for lovers of Chinooks (I must admit I am one and rush out of the house to see one if I hear it coming!) there is positively Chinook-p*rn on offer in the film’s ridiculously huge finale. The ‘inversion’ aspects of the story also lends itself to some fight scenes — one in particular in an airport ‘freeport’ — which are both bizarre to watch and, I imagine, technically extremely challenging to pull off. In this regard John David Washington is an acrobatic and talented stunt performer in his own right, and must have trained for months for this role. Nolan’s crew also certainly racked up their air miles pre-lockdown, since the locations range far and wide across the world. The locations encompassed Denmark, Estonia, India, Italy, Norway, the United Kingdom, and United States. Hoyte Van Hoytema’s cinematography is lush in introducing these, especially the beautiful Italian coast scenes. Although I did miss the David Arnold strings that would typically introduce these in a Bond movie: it felt like that was missing. The ‘timey-wimey’ aspects of the plot are also intriguing and very cleverly done. There are numerous points at which you think “Oh, that’s a sloppy continuity error” or “Shame the production design team missed that cracked wing mirror”. Then later in the movie, you get at least a dozen “Aha!” moments. Some of them (no spoilers) are jaw-droppingly spectacular. Perhaps the best twist is hidden in the final line of the movie. I only processed it on the way home. And so to the first of my significant gripes with ~Tenet. The sound mix in the movie is all over the place. I’d go stronger than that… it’s truly awful (expletive deleted)! Nolan often implements Shakespeare’s trick of having characters in the play provide exposition of the plot to aid comprehension. But unfortunately, all of this exposition dialogue was largely incomprehensible. This was due to: the ear-splitting volume of the sound: 2020 movie audiences are going to be suffering from ‘~Tenetis’! (LOL); the dialogue is poorly mixed with the thumping music by Ludwig Göransson (Wot? No Hans Zimmer?); a large proportion of the dialogue was through masks of varying description (#covid-appropriate). Aaron Taylor-Johnson was particularly unintelligible to my ears. Overall, watching this with subtitles at a special showing might be advisable! OK, so I only have a PhD in Physics… but at times I was completely lost as to the intricacies of the plot. It made “Inception” look like “The Tiger Who Came to Tea”. There was an obvious ‘McGuffin’ in “Inception” — — (“These ‘dream levels’… how exactly are they architected??”…. “Don’t worry… they’ll never notice”. And we didn’t!) In “~Tenet” there are McGuffins nested in McGuffins. So much of this is casually waved away as “future stuff… you’re not qualified” that it feels vaguely condescending to the audience. At one point Sator says to Kat “You don’t know what’s going on, do you?” and she shakes her head blankly. We’re right with you there luv! There are also gaps in the storyline that jar. The word “~Tenet”? What does it mean. Is it just a password? I’m none the wiser. The manic pace of ~Tenet and the constant din means that the movie gallops along like a series of disconnected (albeit brilliant) action set pieces. For me, it has none of the emotional heart of the Cobb’s marriage problems from “Inception” or the father/daughter separation of “Interstellar”. In fact, you barely care for anyone in the movie, perhaps with the exception of Kat. It’s a talented cast. As mentioned above, John David Washington is muscular and athletic in the role. It’s a big load for the actor to carry in such a tent-pole movie, given his only significant starring role before was in the excellent BlacKkKlansman. But he carries it off well. A worthy successor to Gerard Butler and Jason Statham for action roles in the next 10 years. This is also a great performance by Robert Pattinson, in his most high-profile film in a long time, playing the vaguely alcoholic and Carré-esque support guy. Pattinson’s Potter co-star Clemence Poésy also pops up — rather more un-glam that usual — as the scientist plot-expositor early in the movie. Nolan’s regular Michael Caine also pops up. although the 87-year old legend is starting to show his age: His speech was obviously affected at the time of filming (though nice try Mr Nolan in trying to disguise that with a mouth full of food!). But in my book, any amount of Caine in a movie is a plus. He also gets to deliver the best killer line in the film about snobbery! However, it’s Kenneth Branagh and Elizabeth Debicki that really stand out. They were both fabulous, especially when they were bouncing off each other in their marital battle royale. So, given this was my most anticipated movie of the year, it’s a bit of a curate’s egg for me. A mixture of being awe-struck at times and slightly disappointed at others. It’s a movie which needs a second watch, so I’m heading back today to give my ear drums another bashing! And this is one where I reserve the right to revisit my rating after that second watch… it’s not likely to go down… but it might go up. (For the full graphical review, check out One Mann’s Movies on t’interweb and Facebook. Thanks.) As this will be non-spoiler, I can’t say too much about the story. However, what I can is this: ~Tenet’s story is quite dynamic in the sense that you won’t understand it till it wants you to. So, for the first half, your brain is fighting for hints and pieces to puzzle together the story. It isn’t until halfway through the movie that ~Tenet invites you to the fantastic storytelling by Christopher Nolan. Acting is beyond phenomenal, and I’d be genuinely surprised if neither Robert Pattinson nor John David Washington doesn’t receive an Oscar nomination for best actor. It’s also hard not to mention how good Elizabeth Debicki and Aaron Johnson both are. All around, great acting, and the dialogue amps up the quality of the movie. The idea of this movie is damn fascinating, and while there are films that explore time-travelling, there’s never been anything quite like this. It has such a beautiful charm and for the most part, explains everything thoroughly. It feels so much more complex than any form of time-travelling we’ve seen, and no less could’ve been expected from Nolan. Oh my lord, the score for this film fits so perfectly. Every scene that’s meant to feel intense was amped by a hundred because of how good the score was. Let me just say though, none of them will be found iconic, but they fit the story and scenes so well. In the end, I walked out, feeling very satisfied. Nevertheless, I do have issues with the film that I cannot really express without spoiling bits of the story. There are definitely little inconsistencies that I found myself uncovering as the story progressed. However, I only had one issue that I found impacted my enjoyment. That issue was understanding some of the dialogue. No, not in the sense that the movie is too complicated, but more that it was hard to make out was being said at times. It felt like the movie required subtitles, but that probably was because, at a time in the film, there was far too much exposition. Nevertheless, I loved this film, I’ll be watching it at least two more times, and I think most of you in this group will enjoy it. I definitely suggest watching it in theatres if possible, just so you can get that excitement. (4/5) & (8.5/10) for those that care about number scores. At first, I want to ask Christopher Nolan one question, HOW THE HELL YOU DID THIS? Seriously I want to have an answer, How did he write such as this masterpiece! How did he get this complicated, fabulous and creative idea? What is going on in his mind? The story is written and directed perfectly, the narration style was absolutely unique. I have no idea how can anyone direct such as this story, that was a huge challenge, and as usual Nolan gave us a masterpiece that we’ll put beside (Memento), (Inception) and (Interstellar) The movie is so fast-paced in a good way, there was no boring moment. The chemistry between John David Washington and Robert Pattinson was great and funny and both of their performance was really good. Elizabeth Debicki performance was the best in the movie because she had the chance to show her acting abilities and she cached up that chance and showed us an A level acting. The music wasn’t unique and distinct as the music of Interstellar for example and I think this movie needed the touch of Hans Zimmer, I’m not saying that Ludwig Göransson failed but Hans Zimmer in another level. If there was something I’d say that I didn’t like it in the movie would it be that Nolan discarded any set up or characters backgrounds except Elizabeth Debicki dramatic story but it wasn’t that bad for me, I didn’t care about that, the exciting story didn’t give me the chance to focus on it. But the actual problem was the third act, it was really complicated and I got lost and I convinced myself to discard the questions that were in my head and enjoy the well-made action sequences and Elizabeth Debicki performance. I think this kind of movie that gets better with a second and third watch. I honestly don’t quite know where to begin with ~Tenet. I love Christopher Nolan’s work but I have never seen a more complicated film (and I understood Memento). ~After nearly three hours, I came away from ~Tenet not knowing myself, my mind reduced to nothing more than piles of ash. Was there time travel involved? Hmm, there was definitely something about time inversion. I mean, does Nolan even understand what he wrote? Look, I give credit to the director because he’s one of the few directors left who knows how to create a compelling and intelligent blockbuster. ~Tenet is full of Nolan trademarks — the gratuitous Michael Caine cameo, a loud, really loud score, complete with stunning cinematography and slickly

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导演: 王昊 主演: 书亚信 / 马栗 / 王群石 / 尤亦泽 类型: 剧情 制片国家/地区: 中国大陆 语言: 汉语普通话 上映日期: 2020-08-20(中国大陆) 片长: 77分钟 又名: Monster Hunter

怪兽猎人的剧情简介 · · · · · · 　　民国上海，帅气怪兽猎人宇文凭着猎人一族特有的本领预感到了上豪大饭店有怪兽现身。怪兽袭击了花旦顾青，宇文从天而降英雄救美，打断富少警探天明的公开表白。三人卷入连环灵异案件。酒会贵客连遭毒手，顾青身陷绑架危机，三人小队相爱相杀，啼笑破案，所有线索都指向尘封千年的传说——巨兽重现人间，背后神秘操控者浮出水面⋯⋯

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Its somewhat ironic that a movie about time travel can’t be reviewed properly until your future self rewatches the movie. It’s bold of Nolan to make such a thoroughly dense blockbuster. He assumes people will actually want to see Black Box more than once so they can understand it properly, which some may not. This movie makes the chronology of Inception look as simplistic as tic-tac-toe. Ergo, it’s hard for me to give an accurate rating, without having seen it twice, as I’m still trying to figure out whether everything does indeed make sense. If it does, this movie is easily a 9 or 10. If it doesn’t, it’s a 6. It’s further not helped by the fact that the dialogue in the first 15 minutes of the movie is painfully hard to understand / hear. Either they were behind masks; they were practically mumbling; the sound effects were too loud; or all of the above. The exposition scenes are also waayyy too brief for something this complex — a problem also shared with Black Box actually. (Black Box had this minimalist exposition problem explaining Blight, where if you weren’t careful, you’d miss this one sentence / scene in the entire movie explaining that Blight was a viral bacteria: “Earth’s atmosphere is 80% nitrogen, we don’t even breathe nitrogen. Blight does, and as it thrives, our air gets less and less oxygen”). I guess it’s a Nolan quirk. Hopefully, a revision of the film audio sorts the sound mixing out. I do like the soundtrack, but it’s too loud initially. I liked all the actors. You think John Washington can’t act at first, but he can, and he grows on you as the film progresses. And Pattinson is his usual charming self. Elizabeth is a surprise treat. And so on. Its worth a watch either way. See it with subtitles if you can. And definitely don’t expect to fully understand whats going on the first time around. Its one hell of a complicated film. It will be very hard for an average viewer to gather all the information provided by this movie at the first watch. But the more you watch it, more hidden elements will come to light. And when you are able to put these hidden elements together. You will realize that this movie is just a “masterpiece” which takes the legacy of Christopher Nolan Forward If I talk about acting, Then I have to say that Robert Pattinson has really proved himself as a very good actor in these recent years. And I am sure his acting skills will increase with time. His performance is charming and very smooth. Whenever he is on the camera, he steals the focus John David Washington is also fantastic in this movie. His performance is electrifying, I hope to see more from him in the future. Other characters such as Kenneth Branagh, Elizabeth, Himesh Patel, Dimple Kapadia, Clémence Poésy have also done quite well. And I dont think there is a need to talk about Michael Caine Talking about Music, its awesome. I dont think you will miss Hans Zimmer’s score. Ludwig has done a sufficient job. There is no lack of good score in the movie Gotta love the editing and post production which has been put into this movie. I think its fair to say this Nolan film has focused more in its post production. The main problem in the movie is the sound mixing. Plot is already complex and some dialogues are very soft due to the high music score. It makes it harder to realize what is going on in the movie. Other Nolan movies had loud BGM too. But Audio and dialogues weren’t a problem My humble request to everyone is to please let the movie sink in your thoughts. Let your mind grasp all the elements of this movie. I am sure more people will find it better. Even those who think they got the plot. I can bet they are wrong. Black Box is the long awaited new movie from Christopher Nolan. The movie that’s set to reboot the multiplexes post-Covid. It’s a manic, extremely loud, extremely baffling sci-fi cum spy rollercoaster that will please a lot of Nolan fan-boys but which left me with very mixed views. John David Washington (Denzel’s lad) plays “The Protagonist” — a crack-CIA field operative who is an unstoppable one-man army in the style of Hobbs or Shaw. Recruited into an even more shadowy organisation, he’s on the trail of an international arms dealer, Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh in full villain mode). Sator is bullying his estranged wife Kat (Elizabeth Debicki) over custody of their son (and the film unusually has a BBFC warning about “Domestic Abuse”). Our hero jets the world to try to prevent a very particular kind of Armageddon while also keeping the vulnerable and attractive Kat alive. This is cinema at its biggest and boldest. Nolan has taken a cinema ‘splurge’ gun, filled it with money, set it on rapid fire, removed the safety and let rip at the screen. Given that Nolan is famous for doing all of his ‘effects’ for real and ‘in camera’, some of what you see performed is almost unbelievable. You thought crashing a train through rush-hour traffic in “Inception” was crazy? You ain’t seen nothing yet with the airport scene! And for lovers of Chinooks (I must admit I am one and rush out of the house to see one if I hear it coming!) there is positively Chinook-p*rn on offer in the film’s ridiculously huge finale. The ‘inversion’ aspects of the story also lends itself to some fight scenes — one in particular in an airport ‘freeport’ — which are both bizarre to watch and, I imagine, technically extremely challenging to pull off. In this regard John David Washington is an acrobatic and talented stunt performer in his own right, and must have trained for months for this role. Nolan’s crew also certainly racked up their air miles pre-lockdown, since the locations range far and wide across the world. The locations encompassed Denmark, Estonia, India, Italy, Norway, the United Kingdom, and United States. Hoyte Van Hoytema’s cinematography is lush in introducing these, especially the beautiful Italian coast scenes. Although I did miss the David Arnold strings that would typically introduce these in a Bond movie: it felt like that was missing. The ‘timey-wimey’ aspects of the plot are also intriguing and very cleverly done. There are numerous points at which you think “Oh, that’s a sloppy continuity error” or “Shame the production design team missed that cracked wing mirror”. Then later in the movie, you get at least a dozen “Aha!” moments. Some of them (no spoilers) are jaw-droppingly spectacular. Perhaps the best twist is hidden in the final line of the movie. I only processed it on the way home. And so to the first of my significant gripes with Black Box. The sound mix in the movie is all over the place. I’d go stronger than that… it’s truly awful (expletive deleted)! Nolan often implements Shakespeare’s trick of having characters in the play provide exposition of the plot to aid comprehension. But unfortunately, all of this exposition dialogue was largely incomprehensible. This was due to: the ear-splitting volume of the sound: “”&G2&”” movie audiences are going to be suffering from ‘Black Boxis’! (LOL); the dialogue is poorly mixed with the thumping music by Ludwig Göransson (Wot? No Hans Zimmer?); a large proportion of the dialogue was through masks of varying description (#covid-appropriate). Aaron Taylor-Johnson was particularly unintelligible to my ears. Overall, watching this with subtitles at a special showing might be advisable! OK, so I only have a PhD in Physics… but at times I was completely lost as to the intricacies of the plot. It made “Inception” look like “The Tiger Who Came to Tea”. There was an obvious ‘McGuffin’ in “Inception” — — (“These ‘dream levels’… how exactly are they architected??”…. “Don’t worry… they’ll never notice”. And we didn’t!) In “Black Box” there are McGuffins nested in McGuffins. So much of this is casually waved away as “future stuff… you’re not qualified” that it feels vaguely condescending to the audience. At one point Sator says to Kat “You don’t know what’s going on, do you?” and she shakes her head blankly. We’re right with you there luv! There are also gaps in the storyline that jar. The word “Black Box”? What does it mean. Is it just a password? I’m none the wiser. The manic pace of Black Box and the constant din means that the movie gallops along like a series of disconnected (albeit brilliant) action set pieces. For me, it has none of the emotional heart of the Cobb’s marriage problems from “Inception” or the father/daughter separation of “Black Box”. In fact, you barely care for anyone in the movie, perhaps with the exception of Kat. It’s a talented cast. As mentioned above, John David Washington is muscular and athletic in the role. It’s a big load for the actor to carry in such a tent-pole movie, given his only significant starring role before was in the excellent BlacKkKlansman. But he carries it off well. A worthy successor to Gerard Butler and Jason Statham for action roles in the next 10 years. This is also a great performance by Robert Pattinson, in his most high-profile film in a long time, playing the vaguely alcoholic and Carré-esque support guy. Pattinson’s Potter co-star Clemence Poésy also pops up — rather more un-glam that usual — as the scientist plot-expositor early in the movie. Nolan’s regular Michael Caine also pops up. although the 87-year old legend is starting to show his age: His speech was obviously affected at the time of filming (though nice try Mr Nolan in trying to disguise that with a mouth full of food!). But in my book, any amount of Caine in a movie is a plus. He also gets to deliver the best killer line in the film about snobbery! However, it’s Kenneth Branagh and Elizabeth Debicki that really stand out. They were both fabulous, especially when they were bouncing off each other in their marital battle royale. So, given this was my most anticipated movie of the year, it’s a bit of a curate’s egg for me. A mixture of being awe-struck at times and slightly disappointed at others. It’s a movie which needs a second watch, so I’m heading back today to give my ear drums another bashing! And this is one where I reserve the right to revisit my rating after that second watch… it’s not likely to go down… but it might go up. (For the full graphical review, check out One Mann’s Movies on t’interweb and Facebook. Thanks.) As this will be non-spoiler, I can’t say too much about the story. However, what I can is this: Black Box’s story is quite dynamic in the sense that you won’t understand it till it wants you to. So, for the first half, your brain is fighting for hints and pieces to puzzle together the story. It isn’t until halfway through the movie that Black Box invites you to the fantastic storytelling by Christopher Nolan. Acting is beyond phenomenal, and I’d be genuinely surprised if neither Robert Pattinson nor John David Washington doesn’t receive an Oscar nomination for best actor. It’s also hard not to mention how good Elizabeth Debicki and Aaron Johnson both are. All around, great acting, and the dialogue amps up the quality of the movie. The idea of this movie is damn fascinating, and while there are films that explore time-travelling, there’s never been anything quite like this. It has such a beautiful charm and for the most part, explains everything thoroughly. It feels so much more complex than any form of time-travelling we’ve seen, and no less could’ve been expected from Nolan. Oh my lord, the score for this film fits so perfectly. Every scene that’s meant to feel intense was amped by a hundred because of how good the score was. Let me just say though, none of them will be found iconic, but they fit the story and scenes so well. In the end, I walked out, feeling very satisfied. Nevertheless, I do have issues with the film that I cannot really express without spoiling bits of the story. There are definitely little inconsistencies that I found myself uncovering as the story progressed. However, I only had one issue that I found impacted my enjoyment. That issue was understanding some of the dialogue. No, not in the sense that the movie is too complicated, but more that it was hard to make out was being said at times. It felt like the movie required subtitles, but that probably was because, at a time in the film, there was far too much exposition. Nevertheless, I loved this film, I’ll be watching it at least two more times, and I think most of you in this group will enjoy it. I definitely suggest watching it in theatres if possible, just so you can get that excitement. (4/5) & (8.5/10) for those that care about number scores. At first, I want to ask Christopher Nolan one question, HOW THE HELL YOU DID THIS? Seriously I want to have an answer, How did he write such as this masterpiece! How did he get this complicated, fabulous and creative idea? What is going on in his mind? The story is written and directed perfectly, the narration style was absolutely unique. I have no idea how can anyone direct such as this story, that was a huge challenge, and as usual Nolan gave us a masterpiece that we’ll put beside (Memento), (Inception) and (Black Box) The movie is so fast-paced in a good way, there was no boring moment. The chemistry between John David Washington and Robert Pattinson was great and funny and both of their performance was really good. Elizabeth Debicki performance was the best in the movie because she had the chance to show her acting abilities and she cached up that chance and showed us an A level acting. The music wasn’t unique and distinct as the music of Black Box for example and I think this movie needed the touch of Hans Zimmer, I’m not saying that Ludwig Göransson failed but Hans Zimmer in another level. If there was something I’d say that I didn’t like it in the movie would it be that Nolan discarded any set up or characters backgrounds except Elizabeth Debicki dramatic story but it wasn’t that bad for me, I didn’t care about that, the exciting story didn’t give me the chance to focus on it. But the actual problem was the third act, it was really complicated and I got lost and I convinced myself to discard the questions that were in my head and enjoy the well-made action sequences and Elizabeth Debicki performance. I think this kind of movie that gets better with a second and third watch. I honestly don’t quite know where to begin with Black Box. I love Christopher Nolan’s work but I have never seen a more complicated film (and I understood Memento). After nearly three hours, I came away from Black Box not knowing myself, my mind reduced to nothing more than piles of ash. Was there time travel involved? Hmm, there was definitely something about time inversion. I mean, does Nolan even understand what he wrote? Look, I give credit to the director because he’s one of the few directors left who knows how to create a compelling and intelligent blockbuster. Black Box is full of Nolan trademarks — the gratuitous Michael Caine cameo, a loud, really loud score, complete with stunning cinematography and slickly inventive action set-pieces. This time around however, Nolan has finally managed to ‘out-Nolan’ himself: the palindromic plot, whilst creatively ambitious, is simply far too complicated for its own good. Black Box is overlong, overstuffed, pretentious and too exhausting to comprehend in its entirety — it makes Inception and Black Box look like Peppa Pig by comparison. I’m aware of the technical wizardry and creative mastery in this film and lord knows I’ll have to watch this again. For those who want a puzzle, Black Box at least provides a unique cinematic experience. But to actually enjoy solving it Nolan wants you to work very very hard.