#put screenshots of them so u guys can try to find them and listen to some of them for yourself in the meantime :))

[jenivi]

welp my Marina’s Music IRL vid will have to be cancelled since there’s a lot of copyright and blocked :[ it makes sense why these songs were harder to find since they get striked. It may be because of her past record labels or other artists she collabed with. Maybe I’ll find a way around it or will have to cut the playlist much, much shorter than I would like

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

↓Screenshot↓

↑Screenshot↑

[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[a-bucket-of-trash]

Kelvin- Observations and theories (With major Spoilers)

This is going to be based on two endgame cutscenes, so if you haven't seen anything and don't want spoilers, please just get out of here because it's going to be very explicit. I can't go to half measures to camouflage spoilers here, sorry. Ahead Spoilers

First observation: How the fuck did Kelvin and Virginia get into the Cube?

Let's remember that neither of them enters any cave during the entire game, despite the fact that Virginia can reach the levels of being a mutant turret capable of killing twice as many enemies, she never goes to a cave, much less Kelvin for the reasons previously explained here (Short story, he is deaf, if you put him almost blindly in a cave, he would be eaten by bats).

Not only that, but both of them are being chased by "Silver Jacket Guy" (Who's name is Jianyu Zhang). That is in itself suspicious. Zhang could have killed us (AND Kelvin) early in the game, but he didn't for SOME REASON (possibly he was trying to find the Cube? IDK and IDC), and he never came across us on the island. Why was he following Kelvin and Virginia?

Theory A: Zhang finds them outside the cave and takes them hostage/chases them. This means that they did not defend themselves or hide. Perhaps seeing Zhang and his team as non-mutants/cannibals, they let their guard down believing they were safe. In fact, except for seeing them run in front of Zhang, at no time do we see that he is a danger to our babies.

Theory B: Kelvin and Virginia entered first (into the most beastly cave in the game) and Zhang followed them. Even weirder, since, again, they never enter a cave of their own free will. Did they enter voluntarily? Were they escaping from enemies and saw no other solution than to enter? Also, they both arrive QUICKLY. They were literally no more than 30 seconds away, like they were following us, hot on our heels. Why so rush? Did they know that they had to get in so as not to mutate? Zhang told them? (The only thing we need is Zhang being good all along lmao unless??)

Too many unanswered questions. The only facts: Kelvin and Virginia entered a monumental cave, unarmed, following us by no more than 30 seconds, sustaining no damage in the process.

Second observation: In relation to us, Kelvin sits the same in both helicopters.

One-way helicopter: Full health +50 music. With his back to the pilot, window to his left. Fisheye to the right of him, in front and diagonal to us.

Helicopter back: +50 trauma and -80 HP, facing the pilot, window to his right, Eric LeBlanc to his left and, repeating in front and diagonal of us.

Also, add the fact that on the way out he looks at Fisheye and us a couple of times, but on the rescue he never looks at Eric and just keeps his head looking out. It is obviously an indication of the difference in behavior. He went on a mission to chill listening to music, and comes out with a possible combo of traumas, possibly including a fear of getting on a helicopter. Although the fear of staying on the island must be monumentally bigger.

But in both cases, he has us in sight. As in the entire game, Kelvin has us in sight. We are his point of reference, his source of security, what he has to see to be sure that we are not only okay, but that he will also be okay. If he can see us, everything will be fine *Sound of heart breaking*

Here, too those with an RTX 3080 or a full 5K display or better eyes will need to help me confirm the following:

Does Kelvin have his eyes closed?? Has our favorite deaf person closed his eyes once we were rescued because he finally knows that we are safe (with emphasis on us)? Kelvin uwu are u ok?

Also, I hate that in the scene where we started out on the beach, we were literally at nothing away from saving Kelvin.

(lmao the screenshot)

If we had held him down, he might not have fallen into the arena from the sky, causing hearing loss and head damage. But he also might have fallen into the sea and drowned/trapped under the helicopter, so I don't know what to believe. I choose to believe.

Bonus: Screenshots of our sleeping baby (actually unconscious) because uwu Feel free to steal uwu

Peace off ♥

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

CTRL+ALT+DECEIT

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; oral, fucking, stalking, hacking, threats, implied violence.

This is dark!Jake Jensen x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find your pictures on someone else’s Insta but that’s not the only thing he’s stolen.

Note: Yay, another Jensen fic at last. I’m probably gonna try to work in more one shots between my series. I’m looking at Andy Barber, Ransom Drysdale, or Lee Bodecker right now for next week but we’ll see.

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The chirp of the chat pierced your eardrum once more as you ignored it for the spreadsheet of dates on your other monitor. Working from home could be both peaceful and distracting but the third bing had you muting and pushing your headset to your neck with a grumble. You switched windows as the chat box blinked.

‘So why didn’t u tell me u had a bf?’ Zia’s bubble blipped up followed by impatient emojis.

“Wat r u talking bout?’ you typed back and clicked back to the spreadsheet to update the status of each course. That noise came again and you flipped back.

‘I’m not stupid! Come on. He’s far away but he’s cute.’

You frowned and tapped the space bar lightly. You were utterly confused. The only activity in your daily life were the general notifications from Tindr. You repeated the question and she sent an emoji rolling its eyes.

‘I’m serious.’ you replied.

She sent a link and then a laughing GIF attached to another bubbled response, ‘I’m not buyin it.’

You clicked on the hyperlink and a new tab opened. You scrolled down on the Insta as the air was knocked out of you at the sight of your own face. Not only were their pics taken from your public profile but several you’d never even posted. Your skin crawled and the bing sounded again.

‘So… an online thing huh.’ Zia pressed on.

‘I gotta work.’ you closed out of the window entirely but stayed on the Insta.

You scrolled through about a dozen or so selfies of you, each labeled as ‘missing my lady’ or ‘she’s so sweet, sending me pics to keep me company’. Your stomached roiled with mortification and the unsettling sensation of intrusion. It was easy enough to guess you’d been hacked but to think this was what the creep did with it was even more startling.

You changed the password on your Insta and went through the process of doing so with all of your accounts and ran a scan on your PC. You would likely have to file a ticket for a proper inspection with a specialist. You couldn’t help but shake as you went back to the profile after checking your bank account and PayPal to make sure it wasn’t worse than just pics.

You went back to the profile and found photos of the culprit. His spiky blond hair and glasses were unsurprising and his comic book tee shirt was even less. Your disgust was quickly replaced with anger as you hit the chat icon above his info.

‘Hey, jackass, care to tell me how you have my photos on your profile?!’

The read icon appeared almost and you saw him typing. It stopped and then started again.

‘You’re so beautiful, I wanted to share it with everyone.’

You scoffed at the message and cringed at the screen. ‘Are you nuts? Like actually. You stole my photos! You hacked me. Creep.’

You blocked him immediately after hitting send and logged out. You opened Excel again and tried to focus on the coloured cells. You could hardly process what you were doing as your phone began to vibe on the corner of your desk. It didn’t let up and you couldn’t focus past the incessant buzzing.

You snatched it up and several messages covered the screen as you unlocked it. ‘You really think that’s gonna work’; ‘You can’t block me’... several in a similar vein that you deleted before blocking the number. You silenced your phone and turned back to your monitor.

Suddenly the screen went black and you blinked. You hit the keyboard and clicked, assuming it fell asleep. It lit up again but all you saw was yourself staring back. Your mouth fell open and you ripped the clip-on cam from atop your monitor. You disconnected it as the notepad opened and typing flicked up across the white space.

‘I didn’t want it to be like this.’

You could move the mouse or backspace. All control was lost and you sat there helplessly watching the scrawl.

‘I think we’d be really good together if you only gave me a chance. Can’t you see I worship you?’

Your phone began to shake constantly and a private number flashed. You picked it up and hollered into the speaker, “leave me alone”. You hung up but it kept on and your screen turned to black once more. Your PC was still on but there was no reaction from the machine.

Fuck, you sat back and looked at your phone. You couldn’t even call work to tell them because the damn thing wouldn’t stop ringing. You put your head in your hands and grunted in frustration. How the fuck did all this happen?

🖱️

After your initial panic died down, you disconnected your tower and shut off your phone. You left your cell behind as it was just as useless. You hauled the PC down to IT at your work and filled out the ticket without giving intricate details on everything the weirdo had taken.

You left with a borrowed laptop. You wouldn’t sign into your personal accounts and stick to the company portal. You were embarrassed but happy to have a temporary solution. You got home and set up the new computer and reconfigured your wi-fi. You finished the last of the day’s work and ended the day with a glass of wine.

When you dared to turn your phone on again the next morning, it was filled with notifications from all platforms but each one you clicked on errored and prompted you to sign-in. All your new passwords were wrong and you knew it was him. 

You checked the Insta and found a screenshot on his profile from the day before, your mouth agape in horror that could easily mistaken for surprise.

‘Her face when you pop the question on the call’. The caption made your stomach curdle and you nearly flung the phone away. You couldn’t comment without logging in or message. So you created a shell account with a throwaway email you used on Reddit.

‘Why won’t you stop?’ you sent the message through as you waited for your coffee to brew.

‘Stop what?’ he added a winky face with his reply and you growled.

‘You know who this is! Why are you doing this?’

‘Hmmm…’ he let the message hang there and you sat down with your mug and listened to the birds outside. ‘Imagine what someone else would do with everything I have.’

‘Look at what you’re doing. You’re ruining my life.’

‘Ruining? Sweetie, I’m watching over you. Protecting you.’

Your nostrils flared and you burnt your tongue on the coffee and planted it on the table so it sloshed over the sides.

‘Love you, sweetie. See ya soon.’

The chat box turned grey as you realised he blocked you. That pissed you off more than anything and you lobbed your phone away with a shout of anguish. This guy was fucked!  

You were shaking so much you couldn’t even drink your coffee. You got up and paced until you could think straight. You dialed into work and told them you were taking the day off for a personal emergency and shut down your phone. You were too afraid he would find a way onto your work laptop and you didn’t want to have to explain that to IT too.

🖱️

Zia showed up on Saturday and she wasn’t happy. She buzzed up and banged on your door impatiently. You let her in and she crossed her arms over the strap of her purse as she crooked her hip.

“I know I shouldn’t have snooped but if you’re mad at me, you should’ve just said so. I would’ve backed off,” she scowled.

“I’m not mad,” you said as you backed into the front room and dragged your feet over the rug.

“Sure, you’re just ignoring all my messages by accident,” she stayed at the other side of the room.

“Not exactly, no,” you shrugged, “it’s a long story.”

“And you couldn’t shoot me a message to say that at least?”

“Look, I’m stressed the fuck out. I’m sorry but the only reason I didn’t answer you is because I can’t.” 

“You can’t?”

“I can’t even turn my phone on anymore.”

“What--”

“Just--” you touched your temples, “I don’t even know how to explain--”

“Jesus, are you okay?” her anger slaked away as her voice softened.

“No, I’m not,” you sniffed, “I’ve been trapped in this apartment and I can’t think straight and I can’t even talk to anyone because my phone and my life is totally fucked.”

“How about we get a coffee and you can tell me once you’ve calmed down,” she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so worked up.”

“You don’t know how bad it is. I really fucked up,” you whined, “I don’t even know how it happened.”

“Is this about the boyfriend?”

You huffed and shook your head, “I told you, he’s not my boyfriend-- Let me get dressed.”

After you felt presentable enough to leave the apartment, the thought of getting away ushered you down the winding stairwell and onto the sidewalk. You and Zia walked down to the cafe on the corner where you always overspent on their specialty drink and caught up.

You ordered but when you tried to use your card, the machine beeped in rejection. You tried again but still no luck. Zia offered to pay and you promised you’d pay her back. Anxiety pitted deep in your stomach as you sat. You’d have to call the bank and figure out why eight dollars would bounce.

“So,” Zia said as she shaded her eyes against the sunlight streaming onto the open patio, “he’s not your boyfriend?”

“I don’t even know the dude,” you hissed as you almost overturned your cup, “Zee, those pictures, they were all on my phone. I never sent them to anyone. I don’t even know his real name and when I confronted him, he crashed my whole system and blew up my phone. I haven’t been able to log into anything because of him.”

“You’re shitting me,” she chuckled.

“Zee, I’m not fucking kidding,” you blinked, “don’t you think if I was dating some dude out in who knows where, you’d be the first to know? You think I’m wasting my time with the idiots on Tindr for fun?”

“No way,” she scoffed.

“Zia, look me in the eye,” you said as you gave her a stern look, “I’m freaking the fuck out.”

“Did you call the police?” she asked.

You sat back and closed your eyes. You were so swept up in the panic, you hadn’t even thought. You could report it to the police, just get a record of it even if they didn’t do anything else. You heard horror stories of hackers and how little could be done but you had to at least try.

“I guess I should go down to the station today,” you ran your fingertips along your chin, “I don’t know, I felt so alone, I thought--”

“And call your bank right now,” she slid her phone over, “figure out what’s going on with your accounts.”

You took her cell and dialed the number on the back of the card. You dragged your finger down the side of your cup as you listened to the automated message and hit the buttons to direct you to customer service. The hold song bubbled in your head and finally picked up as you finished the last of your mocha.

You explained the issue after giving your information as Zia sat patiently across from you. She watched the other patrons and looked out across the street as you waited on the representative on the other end.

“Looks like your account has been locked. Your savings and checking have been placed on hold citing possible fraud,” the woman explained.

“Well, can’t you unlock them? Why would they be flagged?”

“Hmm, well I see no suspicious spending so possibly… it could be due to an external lock, not us.”

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t speak to that. Have you received any communications from the Revenue service?”

“Revenue service? I don’t--no,” you gulped.

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing else I can tell you,” she said, “you should consider contacting federal services.”

You hung up and handed Zia her phone back. “Apparently, I’m under investigation for fraud? I don’t know.”

“Shit,” she took her cell, “are you sure?”

“It sounded like it but-- I gotta check my credit card,” you stood and grabbed your empty cup and your purse.

You stormed down the street to the ATM at the corner and inserted your card. LOCKED the machine made a hideous noise and you pulled out your card in irritation. You put your wallet and touched the sides of your neck as the heat swelled through you.

“I don’t understand--”

“Um, you should see this,” Zia said.

Zia turned her screen towards you and your heart dropped to your toes. There was a picture softened by a blush Insta filter and the caption read, ‘just got into town, surprising bae with flowers’. Over the cluster of petals at the bottom of the image were you and Zia sitting at the cafe patio.

You spun and searched around for any sign of the man and the bouquet. You could hardly breath as it felt like you were being squished between invisible walls. You clapped your hand against the wall and steadied yourself as Zia gently rubbed your arm.

“Let’s go to the station,” you croaked as tears welled in your eyes, “please.”

🖱️

The police told you everything you expected. Even as you showed them the photos and explained how you never met that man in your life, they only offered you words on a piece of paper. They’d file the report and follow-up in case of any further escalation. It was a non-answer, a cold shrug.

Zia went home with you as she offered to stay the night. You gladly accepted and the two of you cozied up on your bed and spent the night watching early 00s rom coms. You found it hard to relax even with her there. You couldn’t stop thinking about how close he’d been without you even knowing.

You at last began to doze off as Reese Witherspoon triumphed and exhausted by the endless maelstrom of dread, you slipped into a deep but perilous sleep. You were locked in limbo between waking and slumber, almost as if you could hear everything around you but remained blind and unknowing all the same.

You woke with a start as you felt like you were falling. You sat up and reached to the other side of the bed. Zia was gone. She must have got up to get water or use the bathroom. You took a breath and turned your legs over the edge. You got up groggily and lumbered across the room, your mouth dry and head aching. Some tylenol and water would do you well.

You hesitated as you noticed the bloom of light just around the corner from your doorway. Zia must be having trouble sleeping, you guessed as you kept on. As you came in sight of the front room, you heard a whimper and you backed up against the wall as tall figure stood before the coffee table. The flowers laid across the wood, slightly crumpled from a struggle.

As Zia whined, he jabbed her with his foot and she grunted around the rag tied around her mouth. Her arms and legs were bound behind her as the man loomed over her. You recognized his blond hair and glasses, the menacing blue eyes as he raised his chin and crossed his arms.

“Been waiting on you,” he stepped over her, “I was disappointed when I realised it was her. Good friend though, hanging around…”

“Don’t hurt her, please. What do you want?”

“You can’t figure that out?” he taunted, “huh, I’m sure you can guess what it will take for me to leave her in one piece.”

Zia wiggled and received another boot. You pushed yourself forward and he stepped closer, predatory as he dropped his arms and clenched then unclenched his fists. He chuckled as you stopped short and gaped up at him.

“She’s cute,” he said, “she can join us if that makes it easier for you.”

“You’re disgusting,” you snarled and winced as he reached out to touch your cheek. You fought not to shove him away, your eyes on Zia’s bound figure.

“Play nice and I will,” he warned, “every time I hurt her, that’s on you. I wish I didn’t have to do this to show you how much I love you.”

You shook your head as your lip trembled. He pressed his palms to your cheek and ran his thumb along your lips. He leaned in and you cowered as you realised how big he was. You didn’t expect that looking at him from the other side of a screen.

“Do we put on a show for her or did you want a little privacy?”

“You won’t get away with this,” you hissed.

“Oh yeah? I locked you out of your social media, your pc, your bank… do you really want to see how far I can take this?”

He smothered your murmured answer with his mouth and kissed you gruffly. He pulled away and looked you in the eye. He bit his lip and hummed.

“So, do we do this here?”

“You’re sick,” you grabbed his hand and wrenched it away from your face. You yanked him and directed him to the bedroom, “you monster.”

“Now come on,” he twisted his wrist around and grabbed your elbow, “I could’ve killed her. Don’t think I won’t.”

You quivered as he forced you back into your bedroom, the street lights casting shadows between your curtains. He flung you ahead of him, as strong as his thick arms would suggest. You stumbled and caught yourself on the side of the bed. You turned as the door slammed and he prowled towards you like a wild cat.

“Well,” he threw his hands up and you caught a glint of light against the lens of his glasses, “you want me to undress you or you think you can handle that, sweetie?”

You puffed in repulsion and looked away from him. Even in the dark, you could feel his eyes on you. You jittered as you reached to the neck of your loose tee and slowly raised it over your head. You dropped it to crumple on the floor and you touched the top of your shorts. You heard him moving around and shied away as he flipped the switch and light shone across the room.

You pushed down your shorts as you heard a thump from the next room. His jaw twitched as his eyes lingered on you and he reluctantly glanced away. He swung the door open and stormed out into the front room. You went to the door and heard his snarl.

“Stop fucking moving,” he rasped, “every time I have to tell you, I’ll pop another out.”

Zia gave a muffled sob as you heard a sickly crack and you hurried to look around the wall into the room. He blocked your sight with his broad chest and pointed you back to the room.

“I didn’t say you could leave the room,” he spun you and slapped your bare ass, “fast, fast, fast… before I lose my patience.”

Your skin stung from the strike and you tripped through the doorway as he followed quickly. Another slam and he poked you further into the room with his knuckle. You stepped away from him and tried to cover yourself as you faced him in horror.

He quickly swooped his shirt over his head and revealed a buff chest thick with blond hair. He kicked off his shoes and fumbled to undo his fly. He tilted his head as he looked you over and groped himself through his jeans.

“You know what to do,” he said, “I’ve seen the way you touch yourself… cyber security 101, cover your webcam.”

You shuddered as he beckoned you closer. He stopped you and put your hands on the waist of his jeans. He leaned in and nuzzled your temple as his hot breath seeped into your goosebumped skin.

“My turn,” he pushed on your hands until you pulled down the denim on your own strength.

He stepped out of his jeans and snapped the elastic of his boxers. You stood and latched onto those shakily. He ran his fingers along your arms as you pulled them past his erection and they fell to the floor with a whisper. You didn’t look down, instead staring past him as his hand swept up to cup your tits.

His fingers crawled up your chest and his hands wrapped around your neck. He squeezed and turned you so that your back was to the bed. He marched you backwards as you felt his dick bobbing between your bodies. You gasped as he pushed you down onto your mattress, your legs dangling over the edge as he came up to straddle you.

“Such a good girl,” he taunted, “look at you… I bet you’re wet already.”

He pulled a hand away and stroked his length as he raised himself on his knees. He clung to your neck as he leaned over you and planted his hand on the bed above you. He hovered his dick over your head and you closed your eyes.

“Put it in your mouth,” he ordered, “now, or I’m putting it in your ass.”

You reached up blindly and angled his tip against your lips. He dipped his hips down and you choked as he prodded at your throat. Your legs twitched as he forced his cock past your gag reflex and your whole body tensed at the intrusion.

He balanced on the hand above your head and the one on your neck. He thrust harder and harder as sloppy sucking reverberated around the room between his dark groans.

“That’s it,” he purred, “look at you taking my cock. I can only imagine how tight that cunt of yours is.”

Your eyes welled and you flicked your lashes as you tried to bat them away. You kept your hand at the base of his dick as you tried to ease his motion. He ignored your reluctance and only delved deeper as he brought himself to his limit, your lips touching the fuzz along his pelvis.

When you couldn’t breath, you slapped his hard stomach and he reared out of you abruptly. You coughed up spit as he sat back on his heels and released you. He huffed as he looked down at his glistening dick and climbed off of you.

“Stand up, turn around,” he snarled as his eyes flashed. 

His glasses were low on his nose and he slipped them off entirely and folded them up on your night table. He squinted as he watched you stand and turn stiffly. He smacked his hand in the middle of your back and pushed you over impatiently. He stepped closer and tapped his tip against your cunt as you were exposed to him.

He bent his legs and poked along your slick folds. You were wet enough for him to glide in and fill you up completely. He was so big it was painful and you arched your back as you tried to take it. He pulled back and slammed into you harshly. You let out a garble and he repeated the motion, taking you off your feet.

He leaned over you and grabbed your knees, lifting them on the bed as he urged you forward. His hand brushed up over your ass and he pressed between your shoulder blades until your face was flush to the mattress, your arms bent around you like a broken doll.

He thrust again and the loud slap made you wince. He jerked his hips roughly until he found his motion, rutting into you with hissy breaths as his other hand groped your ass. He hummed as your body shook before him, ruled by his touch as your walls clenched him.

He pushed his thumb down between your cheeks and circled your asshole. You strained and lifted your head in alarm. His other hand quickly stretched over your crown and pinned your face to the bed. He felt along your cunt and slickened his thumb before trailing back to your puckered ring.

He pushed lightly at first and as he broke through you gasped and whined. You gripped the blankets as he moved his thumb in and out of you, his hips still rocking steadily into you. He slid his thumb out entirely and prodded with two fingers instead. Before you could react, he forced them inside and you cried out in surprise and pain.

“I know you want it, sweetheart,” he groaned, “I can feel…” he kept fucking you, “I can fucking hear it.”

Your holes tightened around you as he carried the pace. A new pressure began to bloom inside of you, unlike anything you’d felt before. The burning in your ass and the stretching of your cunt mingled to an agonized bliss. You sobbed into the blankets as you came uncontrollably around him, shamed by the unwanted release.

“Fuck,” he drew out the word as both his hand and his hips sped up, “look at you cumming for me. Cumming for this creep.”

You moaned and curled your fingers around the duvet tighter. You felt the same knotting deep inside and you came again as he reached a tantamount. This time, you gushed around his cock and felt the deluge down your thighs as the noise grew wetter and louder.

“Look at you, sweetheart, you can’t handle it, can you?” He snorted as he sucked in a breath suddenly and his hips staggered.

He pushed his fingers deeper and kept them there as he fucked you as hard as he could. He slammed into your cunt over and over. Your hips throbbed with each tilt of his pelvis and you smothered your cries as you felt him coat your walls in his release. 

He stopped just as suddenly and dragged his fingers out of your ass. He leaned against you until your legs collapsed and fell onto you with a sigh. He covered your body with his as his shallow breaths hazed around you. 

Your own heart raced as you stretched your arms out stiffly and quivered. You tried to pull yourself from beneath him. He kept you pinned under his weight and jolted you with a cruel thrust.

“Oh, we’re not done, sweetheart,” he muttered along the shell of your ear, “not even close.”

[demonicintegrity]

just wanted to pop in and say that, as a non-ww fan who's been on almost all possible sides of the allegations (been sxually groomed, become codependent on someone w/o their intent, + had sm1 codependent on me w/o my intent), i fully agree w yr take! i get why ppl were/might still be sus due to how the screenshots r presented but even taking all the evidence at face value it doesn't seem "cancel" worthy.

i don't doubt op's feelings + ik how intense it can feel when ur codependent on sm1 but not enough ppl know it can happen w/o the other person cultivating it. ww could have recognized the iffyness of getting involved w a fan in that way + been more understanding of ops mental illness tho often its hard 4 ppl to comprehend how much sm1 else idolizes them esp if they're a small local celeb. it rly seems 2 me like a mutually toxic relationship w real hurt on both ends.

i rly truly feel 4 the op + understand how he was hurt by ww's actions, i hope he can heal n grow from it. it's also so common for ppl w codependent tendencies to feel like they're less at fault for their unhealthy relationships n that's a huge problem that causes these cycles to repeat. but the arguing abt how u can't be groomed if 18+ or a SW (or even naturally tend to be codependent) only hurts real ppl who have been thru it.

i hate 2 see all the victim blaming n debunking n hate toward op! but i think any misrepresentation was a result of his hurt + effect it truly did have on him. ultimately it shouldve stayed private + i find the idea of canceling sm1 due to having an overall unhealthy relationship in the past unsettling. sorry this is so long + thanks 4 putting a sympathetic and logical voice out there!

You’re good nonny, and my thoughts exactly. Op was clearly hurt by this relationship and I will never ever deny him that. I want him to find peace and get better. But how he presented the evidence just doesn’t show any sort of intentional abuse. I’m not saying it’s not possible, the story as he presented it doesn’t even paint Will as that bad of a guy.

I get that Op doesn’t care about listening to Will’s music and it’s more about protecting people from the person, but as I said in the post, the only lesson I gleaned was “watch your codependency and communication issues.” It was never about cancelling, (which is such a stupid fucking fake concept of how consequences are dealt with but that’s a separate discussion.) it was about preventing more hurt and I think that’s a good stand Op is trying to take. A noble one, especially since he opened up during a spiral to do so.

Honestly I think the screenshots of former bandmates saying Will was an asshole holds more weight against his character than Op’s original claims. I still don’t know what exactly my conclusion of it is, because I know nothing about Will’s life let alone his bandmates so I’m still piecing the picture. I put a link to those in the replies of my original post.

I just feel so exceptionally blind and in the dark regarding all this because I have literally only heard Will speak outside of listening to his music once, and that’s because I came across an old stand up clip unintentionally on YouTube. I truly know absolutely nothing about the band as people and that’s why I keep holding my judgments until smth “more concrete” even if realistically these are probably the mostly the evidence will go.

But yea, the absolutely nasty response Op has gotten is awful. It’s partially why I wrote the post, hoping people would learn to have more sympathy for him. I don’t want to assume intentional foul play from him (outside of posting the nude, which is illegal and wrong and unnecessary.) because I know the talks of whether or not said pic was doctored are around, as well as how legitimate the insta convos are and smth about the timeline math. I’m not involving myself in any of that because I am not the person to deduce those kinds of things. For sake of giving Op the benefit of the doubt, I’m assuming this things are legitimate and the slip ups (like how I pointed the change of social media in the post) we’re just genuine human slip ups.

As you said, the derogatory remarks around Op are practically worse the Op’s original claim. Perpetuating an idea that only a certain type of person can experience abuse is very wrong and dangerous. Even I think as the story stands now it wasn’t abuse, I would never say op or anyone in a similar place isn’t capable of being abused. I worry about how that narrative could take off.

[cryingcow]

Kiryu & Oda - Is Tachibana Real Estate a Good Company? [RGGO]

Starting April, RGG Online has looped back to Y0 events and cards. This 2-part scratchcard mini-event features Oda “April Fools” Jun and Kiryu “asks way too many questions” Kazuma, two real estate agents who may or may not be doing real estate stuff while they pose like runway models and eat delicious ramen together :D

Some of you may be wondering why I seem to randomly insert them screenshots in the text. Usually other than showing new characters, I put them in when there’s a change in the facial expression / tone. It’s harder to tell with these Dragon Engine avatars, but they do still make :0 or :) faces (like when Oda says Kiryu’s being cute lol)

.

PROLOGUE

.

|

One day in 1988. In Kamurocho, various speculations revolve around “The Empty Lot”. Meanwhile, Kiryu, who decided to join hands with Tachibana Real Estate, meets up with Oda to discuss the future . . .

|

Kiryu: “So? What should I do from here on out?”

Oda: “Your fingerprints were lifted from the corpse in the Empty Lot. The police are spinning it in various ways. So I think you should wait until the president gives instructions.”

Kiryu: “All right. But before I cooperate, there’s something I need to know. Does your company, Tachibana Real Estate, do anything other than landgrabbing?”

Oda: “Why do you care about that?”

Kiryu: “It’s not a big deal. But I still don’t know you very well.”

Oda: “It’s as if you don’t believe in us.”

Kiryu: “Whatever you’re doing, I don’t mind.”

Oda: “Hm. Then follow me.”

Kiryu: “?”

Oda: “I’ll show you what you want. The other work we do besides landgrabbing.”

----

Oda: “We’ve arrived.”

Kiryu: “. . . Isn’t this Hideya? This is a long-established ramen shop in Champion District.”

Oda: “You’re well informed. As expected of a yakuza of the Dojima Family with roots in Kamurocho.”

Kiryu: “‘Former’ yakuza.”

Oda: “How rude of me.”

Kiryu: “So? What’s wrong with Hideya?”

Oda: “Take a look inside.”

Kiryu: “. . . What’s this?”

Oda: “As you can see, Hideya’s been in a slump these days.”

Kiryu: “What happened? Did the taste quality drop while I wasn’t there?”

Oda: “Why don’t you check for yourself? I’ll treat you, so try eating it.”

Kiryu: “I’m not owing you a debt of gratitude for the treat.”

Oda: “Heh. That’s cute.”

----

Oda: “Sorry for the disturbance.”

Shop Manager: “Welcome! Ah, Oda-san. And also Kiryu-san.”

Kiryu: “Long time no see, shop manager.”

Oda: “Shop manager, some ramen. Is that all right with you?”

Kiryu: “Yeah.”

Shop Manager: “On it!”

Oda: “It’s not a pretty shop, but it’s a shop that stood the test of time, isn’t it?”

Kiryu: “The shop’s appearance doesn’t matter as long as you can have something to eat.”

Oda: “Hm. Is that so.”

Shop Manager: “Yes, the ramen you waited for!”

Oda: “Shall we eat now?”

Kiryu: “. . . Yeah.”

Kiryu: “. . . !!”

Oda: “How is it? Did the taste quality go down?”

Kiryu: “No . . . it’s good. It’s been a while since I ate it, but it tastes the same as before.”

Oda: “Right? As far as I know, Hideya’s ramen is so delicious that it’s worth three 3 fingers in Kamurocho.”

Kiryu: “But then why aren’t there many customers?”

Shop Manager: “Ahaha, you sure can say it frankly.”

Kiryu: “Ah . . . , no . . .”

Shop Manager: “It’s okay. Because it’s true.”

Kiryu: “. . . I’m sorry.”

Oda: “So shop manager, is it true you want to close the shop and sell the land here?”

Shop Manager: “With only these many customers coming in . . . The cost of the ingredients wasted everyday is not a trivial matter . . .”

Oda: “Is that really okay?”

Shop Manager: “Certainly it’s painful that the smiles of the customers who ate our ramen can’t be seen anymore.  . . . the time has come, I’m sure.”

Kiryu: “. . .”

Oda: “I understand . . . If you want to sell the land, please contact us. We will purchase it at a higher price than other companies.”

Shop Manager: “. . . Yeah. When that time comes, I will consult you.”

----

Kiryu: “Did we really go just to find out if you could buy Hideya’s land?”

Oda: “Who knows, Kiryu-kun. now listen up.”

Kiryu: “. . .”

Oda: “How about we start at the top? Did you know that the reason why customers don’t come to Hideya is not because of the taste?”

Kiryu: “Yeah. If it tastes like that, more customers should be coming in. There has to be other reasons why the customers don’t come.”

Oda: “Spot on.”

Kiryu: “What on earth is it? What is the real reason why Hideya doesn’t have customers?”

Oda: “Hideya has been receiving harassment. The Tojo Clan subsidiary, Moriguchi Family, wants to get their hands on the shop’s land.”

Kiryu: “What did you say?”

Oda: “To strengthen their claim, they have bad guys hanging out in front of the store . . . because of these guys, the regulars steer clear of Hideya. Still, the manager of Hideya manages to keep the shop open. Until that ramen shop, which is across the street . . .”

Kiryu: “Across the street? Is that the shop with a long line?”

Oda: “It’s a recently opened shop. That shop has been robbing Hideya of customers.”

Kiryu: “Is it really delicious?”

Oda: “Not at all. You can see at first glance that it’s of lesser quality. It’s not a taste that can compete with Hideya.”

Kiryu: “Then why do they get so many customers?”

Oda: “The ramen there is 100 yen per bowl.”

Kiryu: “100 yen?! Can they make it at such price?”

Oda: “That shop has no intention of making a profit from ramen.”

Kiryu: “. . . No way, is that ramen shop . . . ?”

Oda: “Yeah. No matter how much harassment they do, they won’t evict Hideya— so it’s a ramen shop run by the Moriguchi Family, started just to rob Hideya of customers. Attacking a small shop while backed up with abundant funds . . . it’s a dirty trick. But if you ask, they’ll just say the customers are satisfied with their low price. It’s a corporate effort. What they’re doing isn’t illegal or anything.”

Kiryu: “Cheaters.”

Oda: “I agree with you.”

Kiryu: “But is Tachibana Real Estate also aiming for that land? After all, you guys have the same goal.”

Oda: “Would you prefer being with those guys?”

Kiryu: “Is it any different?”

Oda: “Hasn’t it been mentioned before? It’s our president’s policy. Protecting the land of the Champion District.”

Kiryu: “I see . . . so how are you going to protect Hideya’s land?”

Oda: “First of all, we will hold a scratch event. Of course I’ll shoulder the full cost.”

Kiryu: “Scratch event?”

Oda: “Distribute scratchcard tickets to customers who order ramen. It’s an event where you might get a wonderful prize if you win. Customers will be enticed by the expensive prizes, and once they taste Hideya’s ramen, they’ll become regulars. If the regulars spread the word around, the customers will surely return to Hideya. That’s the aim.”

Kiryu: “I see. But I don’t understand.”

Oda: “Hm?”

Kiryu: “No matter Tachibana’s policy, does Tachibana Real Estate do things that aren’t profitable? Would it be profitable for the company to protect a crushed ramen shop?”

Oda: “The president says that blocking the interest of competitors is one of the good management strategies.”

Kiryu: “I don’t know how difficult that is, but okay. But there’s one more thing I don’t understand.”

Oda: “What?”

Kiryu: “You, Oda. Are you cooperating this time because you were told to by Tachibana?”

Oda: “Of course. I’m an employee of Tachibana Real Estate, aren’t I? That person’s words are absolute.”

Kiryu: “Then what about your true intentions? After all, you also want to grab Hideya’s land, right?”

Oda: “Well, if you shut down Hideya and turn it into a sex shop, you can expect quite the profit every month. But it’s a bit of a problem for me to not be able to eat Hideya’s ramen. After all, I’m a regular at that shop. I won’t be able to eat there twice a week and relax.”

Kiryu: “. . . Heh. That kind of reason is something I can trust. So when will you start the event?”

Oda: “Tomorrow. We should do it as soon as possible.”

Kiryu: “Got it. What should I do?”

Oda: “Take the scratchcard tickets from the office to Hideya. I’ll inform the shop manager about the campaign.”

----

Kiryu: “Shop manager. I brought the scratchcard tickets from Tachibana Real Estate office.”

Shop Manager: “Sorry, Kiryu-san. To do this for this place . . .”

Kiryu: “Don’t worry about it. Because I like this place too.”

Shop Manager: “. . .”

Kiryu: “What’s wrong? Your face looks gloomy.”

Shop Manager: “It’s my first time holding an event, I don’t know if it will work . . .”

Kiryu: “The event will just be a chance to get to know Hideya’s ramen. It’s like a bonus.”

Shop Manager: “. . . Yeah. I know that . . .”

Kiryu: “Have confidence. I’m sure everyone will accept Hideya’s ramen.”

Shop Manager: “. . . Understood. I’ll do my best!”

Kiryu: “Then I can take my leave?”

Shop Manager: “Yeah, leave it to me tomorrow!”

{The door closes behind Kiryu as he leaves.}

Shop Manager: “Alright, preparations are done. Do I have a little rest before tomorrow?”

{The door opens again.}

Moriguchi: “Oh, sorry for the disturbance.”

Shop Manager: “Y-You, Moriguchi-san?!”

Moriguchi: “Hideya-san, what kind of event are you doing? If it’s something to do with these scratchcards, you might as well give up, it’ll end all the same.”

Shop Manager: “I-It doesn’t matter to you.”

Moriguchi: “I want us to have a great relationship. It’s about time you rethink getting along with us.  . . . Oh, do it.”

Yakuza: “Yes sir!”

{The sound of furniture breaking is heard as the yakuza swings around his sledgehammer.}

Shop Manager: “Wh-What are you doing?! St-Stop it!”

Moriguchi: “Joining hands with Tachibana Real Estate . . . it’s natural to feel hurt when you make light of yakuza.”

Shop Manager: “U-Uugh . . .”

Yakuza: “Boss, what do we do with these?”

Moriguchi: “Ah? Scratchcard tickets . . . It won’t be needed for a shop that will be shut down soon. Would you like to use it for a sideshow entertainment? It’ll make for a good prize.”

Shop Manager: “I-If you take that, the event will . . . !”

Moriguchi: “Shut up, fool!”

{Moriguchi punches the shop manager, causing him to collapse.}

Shop Manager: “Guh!”

Moriguchi: “To really go through all that unnecessary effort . . . Alright, let’s go.”

Yakuza: “Yes sir.”

{The door closes as the two yakuza leave.}

Shop Manager: “Damn it . . . damn it . . . !”

----

|Next morning.|

Kiryu: (It’s about time for the shop manager to be preparing to open. Maybe I can help with something.)

Kiryu: “Hm . . . ? Th-This is?!”

Oda: “Kiryu, you arrived!”

Kiryu: “What on earth happened? Hideya has been messed up.”

Oda: “It’s the Moriguchi Family. It seems they broke into Hideya last night. The shop has been messed up, and the shop’s earnings and scratchcard tickets have been taken away.”

Kiryu: “What did you say?! What about the shop manager?”

Oda: “Being treated at the hospital right now. It’s not a major injury since he only received a few hits. However, his heart is hurt . . .”

Kiryu: “. . .”

Oda: “For now, let’s clean up the shop. It may be time for business, but the event is . . .”

Kiryu: “. . . The event can be held as long as the scratchcards come back.”

Oda: “Where are you going? The Moriguchi Family?”

Kiryu: “Yeah. I know the location of the Moriguchi Family.”

Oda: “I’ll go too. This time even I’m pissed off.”

----

Oda: “Hello.”

Moriguchi: “If I’m not mistaken, ain’t you the fellows from Tachibana Real Estate? What’s this about?”

Kiryu: “We came to get the scratchcards back.”

Moriguchi: “Haw, you mean these scratchcards? Even though the shop is about to be crushed, you still have the insolence to think about events . . . But without these crucial tickets, the event won’t unfold, ain’t that right?”

Kiryu: “Return the tickets quietly. That way, I won’t have to do much to you.”

Moriguchi: “How are you two going to deal with this many people? It makes me laugh! I’m beating the fear of the yakuza into your body!”

Kiryu: “It’s easy to boast. Bring it on.”

Moriguchi: “Fine! Oi, you guys! Don’t hesitate! Do in this impertinent fool!”

.

-END-

.

EPILOGUE

.

Moriguchi: “Wh-What are these guys. Mo-Monsters?!”

Oda: “Isn’t calling us monsters a bit much?”

Moriguchi: “Eh? So-Sorry . . . !”

Kiryu: “Oi.”

Moriguchi: “Ye-Yes?”

Kiryu: “You’re not meddling with Hideya again, are you?”

Oda: “You understand exactly what will happen if you start, right?”

Moriguchi: “O-Of course! I-I will never do it again!”

----

Customer A: “Ramen and one drink.”

Shop Manager: “Yes!”

Customer B: “A large serving of Chashu Ramen!”

Shop Manager: “Yes! Please wait a moment!”

{The door opens.}

Kiryu: “Shop manager, is your body okay?”

Shop Manager: “Yeah, Kiryu-san! Thanks to you I’m full of life!”

Kiryu: “Hm, I see. The event seems to be going well.”

Shop Manager: “When was the last time the shop has been this busy? I really thank you!”

Kiryu: “That’s great. But now things are just getting started. After all, the reputation of Hideya’s ramen will echo throughout Kamurocho. You’ll be really busy starting tomorrow.”

Shop Manager: “Yeah. That’s what I desire!”

----

Oda: “Yo. How was it? How’s the shop manager?”

Kiryu: “Working happily. He gives his best regards.”

Oda: “That’s good.”

Kiryu: “Apparently you’re not the money-grubbers you seem to be.”

Oda: “Ha? What’s that? This matter is also business. Helping out Hideya will reduce the power of rival organizations. It would be profitable for Tachibana Real Estate in the long run.”

Kiryu: “. . . Heh. I see.”

Oda: “What’s that. Anyway, the job is done. Let’s eat. But it’s not my treat.”

Kiryu: “Yeah, I’ll go with you.”

.

-END-

Masterlist

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Ok, you don't have to answer all of these because there were too many good ones and I still ended up with 6 after trying to shave it down lmao:

3, 12, 18, 34 (there is a right answer btw lmao), 38, 40? :O

(weird writer questions - send some in if u want!)

now you've made it a challenge and i HAVE to answer all of them!!! I am gonna put it under a read more, tho, bc it's gonna be kinda long sdlkfs

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

My writing ritual is "oh fuck that's a Good Idea, I need to write it down!" and then instead of writing it down, I do the entire thing in one sitting. And if I don't get to it in one sitting, the chances of me finishing it are maybe 30% out of a hundred. I am getting better at breaks tho, so maybe my ritual still has a chance to change and actually work more than five percent of the time sdfsdf

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Hmm! First one would probably just like... "I wish to have the patience and understanding to do all the research I need to do to make this good". Bc too often I shy away from things bc I don't exactly know what's happening and I don't wanna get it wrong. So I'd like to be able to learn better, please!

Second one would probably be "I wish to be able to write consistently" bc Wowza nothing kills the man (me) more than writer's block sldfsdf

Third, and final, I wish for Support. I crave validation consistently. Nothing makes me want to write more than validation /hj (and getting ideas when I should be sleeping sldfksd).

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

From Tedious Familiarity “Your name is Barry Bluejeans,” the coin said. “But unless you find ### somehow, your name is Sildar Hallwinter. Stupid name, I know. You probably get the refs, though, right? Sildar, like Silly’s Rockets? I think mom hated that awful toy as much as I did, we could never get it to shut up. And Hallwinter, ugh. You remember Mr. Hallwinter, right? Sorry, Doctor Hallwinter. Hate that guy, hate his class, hate his teaching. But lucky for you, Barry, hate is exactly what you’re gonna need for this mission. So until we’ve got all our shit sorted out, we’re gonna be Sildar Hallwinter.

This whole fic, but this paragraph especially, was based off an idea I had in like,,, December? That I never fully got to. The original work went a lil further into that name choice and also just built up a lot of resentment, not only towards the persona of "Sildar Hallwinter" but for what Barry's doing in the first place. Like he doesn't wanna spend all his time looking for Lup. But he's gotta and he's never gonna give up. Discord screenshots of those two bits are below:

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

I mean, I use it when I can? Like, if I'm listing things, the only reason I wouldn't put the comma is if things were obviously connected, like two people arriving together. So if Lup and Taako showed up as a pair, I'd put "Magnus, Merle, Lup and Taako". But if they showed up separately, or if they weren't meant to be connected in that scene I'd put "Magnus Merle, Lup, and Taako". Idk if that makes any sense sldfsdf

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

I mean, my whole process is wild lsdfsdf. As stated above, I usually try to finish everything in one sitting. Like, I will set at my desk for hours and crank out a 6k fic. I did once stay up for 24(ish) hours just to finish a 13k fic, post it without ANY editing, and then pass the fuck out. I barely ate or drank anything, which wasn't great sdlfsdf

Also just the fact that I can't write if I'm listening to something? Even just rain or anything besides my Room Noises, I will get too overwhelmed. I also tend to write too fast for my hands to keep up with, and end up skipping half a sentence and not noticing until I go back (if I go back at all).

Also also, I don't edit that much?? Or rewrite? With fanfiction at least. I feel like I should, because everyone else seems to, but if I'm writing a fic, I usually say what I want to say and there's maybe some rare moments where I'll rewrite a scene. Maybe I'll add/take away some bits but??? Idk! I don't edit or revise that much!

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

Struggled to find a poem small enough to not make this ask longer than it already is, but here's one I wrote earlier in spring:

the sun is a little bit brighter today than it was before i think just the idea of spring is enough to open my curtains every day we're deep into it now, the sun setting later with each passing night i wanna make flower crowns with the weeds growing back up in my garden i wanna plunk up a wishing flower and let it tear away before i've had the chance to think of a wish i think if i got the time, if i prepared ahead, i'd just ask for spring to last a little bit longer this year i was hibernating before, but now im awake and the sun feels so nice on my face

[ghosttotheparty]

while the world ends around us (make believe with me)

8. Oh, it’s like I’m looking down from the ceiling above AO3

“I just don’t see why I can’t call her or something,” Lucas says dryly, mixing the sugar into his coffee.

“We’ve talked about this,” his dad huffs from behind him, where he’s sitting at the table. “She needs space to recover.”

Lucas lifts the spoon and looks at the sugar, sparkling in the spoon, and drops it back in the mug, stirring more aggressively.

“Yeah, but she has space,” he says without turning to look at him. “I think she could heal a little better if she had support.”

“She has support.”

“She has doctors and pills,” Lucas says. “Which helps, but having her son support her would help too.”

“You can write her a letter,” he says dismissively.

Lucas tosses the spoon into the sink loudly.

“Why would I write her a letter like it’s the fucking nineteenth century,” he says “when I can Skype her or something?” He turns to lean against the counter, but his father is still looking at his laptop in front of him, doing fucking whatever. “Her doctor told me I can schedule a call and—”

“No.”

Lucas grips the countertop behind him, until his nails are digging into it, until it feels like it might crack and crumble. He takes a sharp inhale before speaking.

“She won’t even get a letter for a while, I wanna have an actual conversation with her.”

“I said no.”

“You’re not even listening—”

“I don’t need to listen. I gave you an answer.”

Lucas stares at the back of his head, his heart pounding, livid at his insouciance, at how he just doesn’t care.

“I…” Lucas starts, shaking his head. “I just think if we actually talked about it, you could see what I mean.”

“Lucas…” his father huffs, like he’s the exasperated one. “I don’t have time for this right now.”

“I tried talking to you about it last night— I need your permission to call her,” he says adamantly.

“You’re not getting it,” he says calmly. “Give her space .”

“She—”

“Lucas, drop it,” he snaps finally, turning to look over his shoulder. He looks angry, and a part of Lucas feels gratified. Fucking finally he looks, even if just a fraction, as angry as Lucas feels. (Another part of him is startled. Every time he gets angry, it’s this quick, this sudden. It’s always sharp anger, preceded by silence, by indifference, until he snaps.) “You’re not getting permission. You can write her a letter.”

Lucas states back, relaxing his face. A part of him wants to give his father the same treatment, the same unreasonable coolness, the dryness. A part of him wants to walk out, and leave him angry.

He doesn’t.

“Would you even send it if I wrote one?” he asks calmly.

His father is quiet, still staring with furrowed brows.

“God, you really just don’t like her,” Lucas says. “You just don’t want me to talk to her.”

“You don’t need to.”

“She’s my mother,” he says, leaning forward, losing some of the stoicism he’s trying to maintain.

“And I’m your father.”

“You didn’t raise me,” Lucas snaps. “And I’m fucking glad you didn’t,” he mutters as he walks out of the room, leaving his father sputtering some nonsense, bullshit that Lucas doesn’t even bother acknowledging.

He shuts him up by slamming his bedroom door (or maybe he just can’t hear him anymore), and he stands there for a few seconds, just shaking, just trembling, just trying and trying and trying to take a deep breath, but it doesn’t work, and he explodes.

“Motherfucker!”

He swipes his hand across the top of one of the cardboard boxes (the goddamn cardboard boxes), snatching a sketchbook and flinging it behind himself, throwing it into the door.

His eyes squeeze shut and he falls to his knees as the sketchbook hits the door loudly, splitting open, and the papers fly in the air, falling around him. He hears the pages hit the ground, soft scrapes against the uneven wood that sound like the screeches of metal on the inside of Lucas’s skull.

He whimpers, his eyes squeezing shut tighter and tighter until it hurts as he presses his hands over his ears, drowning out the sound of his father tossing silverware into the drawer, the loud, shrill clattering, the drawer slamming shut like it’s in competition with Lucas’s bedroom door. Lucas’s head dips lower until his forehead presses into the floor, gritting his teeth against the whimpers that escape him as his father begins to shout at him through the doors, through the walls.

Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup.

Lucas doesn’t realise he’s speaking out loud, softly murmuring the words to the floor, until he finally does shut up, until the apartment lays deathly silent, as if in apocalypse. Lucas opens his eyes and stops whispering, staring at the floor. It’s so close that it’s blurry, swirls of dusty brown and age. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the edge of a sheet of paper that floated down next to him.

He looks at the drawing, slowly, tentatively moving his hands away from his ears as he lifts his head. His eyes focus on the sketch.

He almost wants to look away from it, almost wants to crawl closer to it and snatch it from the ground in a tight fist, almost wants to crumple it and tear it up until it’s dust.

Instead he stares at it, only breaking eye contact with it when he startled, jumping and wincing as the front door slams shut in the dead silence of the apartment. It echoes through Lucas’s head as he deflates, sighing and collapsing onto the floor.

He moans softly, pressing his forehead against the grainy wood, lifting his arms to press them to his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he sighs heavily.

Piece of shit.

He ends up climbing into bed, tugging the blanket over his head and blocking out the sunlight. It still comes through the blanket, pressing against his eyelids in faint shades of red and purple.

He pulls it down when his phone vibrates, and he looks at it dejectedly, his eyes hooded as the screen lights up and it buzzes against the floor. When he lifts his head he can read Jens’s name on the screen, but he lets his head fall and he rolls away before he can read what Jens is saying.

He stares at the blank wall, biting his trembling lip when his phone buzzes again.

And again.

And again.

- - -

Lucas only comes out from under the blanket when he can’t stay still any more, when he gets tired of bouncing his foot against his mattress and tapping his fingertips against the floor with his hand hanging off the side of his bed just to hear the noise.

His father still hasn’t returned, (Lucas wonders briefly where he is, where he could be. Out drinking? With friends? Lucas would be surprised if he has any.) but Lucas still walks as lightly as possible to the kitchen, carefully stepping over the creaky floorboards in the hallway like his dad is going to come out of nowhere.

He opens the fridge (to stare for a while before shutting it and leaving it like he usually does), but stops when he sees his forgotten coffee.

The mug is cold to the touch so he pours it into a bigger glass with some ice and sticks a straw in it, taking a sip and wincing at its bitterness (though he doesn’t bother finding more sugar) as he goes back to his room.

He kicks some paper out of the way when he enters his room, navigating it in the sudden dimness he hadn’t noticed until now. There’s light coming through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the floor, and they shift like illusions as the papers slide across the floor.

He doesn’t bother trying to pick them up. He barely spares them a glance. He knows them well. He could redraw them in his sleep.

They’re all people. Some of the pages are covered with messy pencil sketches of Kes and Jayden and Isa and Noah, smudged and blended under Lucas’s hand. He never fixed them, or tried to avoid the smudges. None of the drawings felt like real drawings, like actual portraits he wanted to put effort into. They just made him feel better. Some of them are random people from the internet, photos he’s screenshotted from Pinterest, because he likes the slope of their noses and the angle of their eyes.

And then there’s Jens.

Lucas is embarrassed, if he’s honest. He’d never show them to anyone. He barely even looks at them himself, except the few times he gets stuck, looking at it like Jens is right in front of him, even though he’s only ever seen him in Instagram photos and over Facetime and Skype.

Some of his drawings even capture the graininess of the photos, the blur of his screen as Jens grins at him. (Somehow the drawings give Lucas the same swoop in his stomach and flutter in his chest.)

Lucas sets his coffee on the ground next to his mattress before grabbing the drawings off the ground, quickly, rushed, his cheeks burning even though he’s completely alone. He stuffs them into a box, ignoring the way they bunch and wrinkle and fold so they fit before he slams it shut, pressing the worn and papered tape over the seam harshly so it stays closed.

He grabs his phone from the ground before flipping onto his bed, huffing and leaning against the wall before picking up the coffee and taking a few gulps to nurse his headache. (Though the caffeine probably won’t help much in the long run.)

He scrolls through his notifications as he sips the coffee.

Jens hey do you wanna zoom with the guys?? lucas???? l u c a s lu :(((

Moyo bro you there?? we miss you 💔

Robbe hey we’re video chatting if you want to join! :)

Aaron lucas lucas lucas lucas lucas lucas lucas

Jens is everything okay? call me when you want

The final message was sent a while after the others, and Lucas’s chest tightens.

He takes one last gulp of coffee before he sets the cup down (the ice cubes were watering it down anyway) and slides back so his head is propped up against his tower of pillows, and he calls him.

He answers quickly, before Lucas’s head is even settled.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Lucas says lightly, and even his expression softens. “‘S fine.”

Jens is quiet for a second before he says, “You don’t wanna talk about it?”

Lucas really can’t tell if it’s a question or not. Either way, his face falls and he squeezes his eyes shut as he inhales deeply. Jens can see right through him.

“Not really,” he says quietly.

“That’s okay,” Jens says softly. “Would you rather talk about how Nick is definitely in love with Gatby?”

Lucas startles and scoffs before a giggle is ripped right out of his chest.

“What?”

“You don’t see it? It’s so obvious!”

“I mean— I’m not arguing with you, I just…” He closes his eyes again, grinning at the ceiling. “Do you have textual evidence?” he asks, annunciating and imitating Ms Peeters.

“Uh, the book?” Jens says sassily, and Lucas almost giggles again. He can just imagine the furrow of Jens’s eyebrows and jut of his chin. “He follows Gatsby everywhere, he’s all he thinks about!”

I’d follow you anywhere.

“He’s the narrator,” Lucas says, ignoring the thought.

“Okay, and why do you think— What’s his name? Fitz— Fitzgerald?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Why do you think Fitzgerald chose to make Nick the narrator instead of choosing to use third person narration?”

Lucas pauses, processing his question.

“What, are you my final?”

A laugh bursts out of Jens.

“I don’t know,” Lucas sighs. “Why do you think?”

“Uh…” Jens sighs thoughtfully and there’s a rustle of fabric. Lucas wonders if he’s laying down too. “I think he just thought the gays needed a win.”

Lucas laughs loudly, rolling onto his side and shaking head, his eyes squeezing shut under his smile.

“I don’t think people were that invested in us back then,” he says as he settles.

And then he freezes, his eyes flying open.

He didn’t mean to let out so soon.

He’d been thinking about it, how to go about telling Jens that he’s embarrassingly gay without scaring him off. (Though he also reminded himself that Jens’s best friend is gay. Though, he also reminded himself, Robbe’s known Jens a lot longer than he has.)

He stayed up last night with it on his mind, whether it’s worth it or not, telling Jens he’s gay, and risk Jens thinking he likes him. (He wouldn’t be wrong, of course. That’s another thing that kept Lucas up: the way the mere thought of him, or his voice, makes Lucas’s heart flutter, makes his breath shorten, the way the fucking thought of seeing him in person makes Lucas gasp in excitement. He has it bad.)

“Maybe not, but you don’t think Fitzgerald was a little gay?” Jens says, paying no mind, and Lucas’s eyes open to the stack of boxes in front of him.

“What?” he says, laughing.

“You don’t think so?”

“He had a wife.”

“Oh, did he?”

“Yeah, her name was Zelda.”

“That’s a dope name. Okay, whatever, he had a wife. Sure. He still could have been a little gay.”

“I guess?”

“No straight person speaks that poetically.”

Lucas snorts, rolling over more until he’s almost laying on his stomach. He rests his chin on her forearm, holding his phone to his ear as he looks outside, seeing the city between the blinds.

“Then that would prove that Nick is gay, not Gatsby.”

“I never said Gatsby was gay,” Jens says, followed by another rustling sound and a soft huff of breath, like he’s mirroring Lucas. “Just the author. And Nick.”

“So it’s about unrequited romance?” Lucas says, his chest tightening slightly. He takes a deep breath as quietly as he can, feeling suddenly like his lungs won’t fill quite right.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jens says softly. “He’s watching Gatsby fall in love with Daisy, that’s heartbreaking.”

Lucas swallows.

“Gatsby was already in love with Daisy.”

“Right.” Jens takes a breath and Lucas closes his eyes for a second. He wonders what it would be like to fall asleep like this, with his phone pressed to his ear, with Jens’s voice whispering to him. “Nick was falling in love with Gatsby, and watching Gatsby be in love with someone else. Is that worse?”

Lucas thinks for a second, about the day, the second he realised his crush on Kes.

He was sitting across the table from him at a cafe, and Kes had kicked him in the shin by accident before looking under the table and kicking him again. Lucas had laughed and tried to kick him back but missed, kicking the table so hard it jostled, and Kes burst with laughter as Lucas hissed “Shit!” and grabbed the edge of the table to steady it.

Lucas had listened to Kes laugh. And looked at the way Kes was looking at him, his eyes bright with amusement. He’d even dropped his phone to laugh before setting his forehead on the table when Lucas shushed him, seeing a woman at another table turn to look.

And he remembers watching Kes fall for Isa.

Watching kiss her and pull her close when all Lucas wanted to hold his hand.

“I think it might be.”

Jens hums thoughtfully.

“We could write an essay about that.”

“Oh,” Lucas says, blinking. “We could.”

“Ms Peeters would definitely like it. She likes in-depth analyses. Even if they make no sense.”

Lucas chuckles, trying to forget about Kes.

It’s not hard to forget right now.

Not with Jens’s voice in his ear.

“We still have to finish reading it,” Lucas says.

“Of course.” Jens sighs. “I can see why you like it so much.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.”

They’re quiet for a second, and Lucas looks out the window. It’s dark now, and there are still bright windows scattered around the city. The street lamp across the street from his building flickers. Lucas wonders if stars flicker before they go out too.

“Lu?” Jens says softly, and Lucas closes his eyes. No one ever called him that before Jens. (No one does now either. He wonders if anyone else will. He hopes not.)

“Mmhmm?”

“Are you better now?”

“Yeah,” he says after a pause. “I am, actually.” You have that effect on me, he doesn’t add.

“Do you wanna talk about it now?”

Lucas smiles softly. It doesn’t feel like Jens is just curious. Like if Lucas were to say no, Jens would just say that’s okay.

Which gives him more bravery.

“It’s just…” he starts, huffing softly. “My dad. I’m so sick of him.”

Jens hums quietly.

Lucas squeezes his eyes shut and his lip quivers.

“I just—” he chokes. “I’m so fucking tired of this place.”

“Which place?”

“Just— I don’t know,” he says before burying his face in his arm. “This city, this apartment.” He lifts his head. “Mainly this apartment. All these fucking boxes.”

“When we— When we can meet up,” Jens stammers out, “I’ll take you places.” He sounds so sincere, so desperate, that Lucas’s heart squeezes. He shuts his eyes, hanging onto every word. “Wherever you want. Wherever we can go. I’ll leave Lotte with my dad, and we can stay out as long as you need to.”

Lucas muffles a sob into his arm, clutching the phone like a lifeline.

“And until then we can call whenever you want, and we can call my friends—” He cuts off. “Oh!”

Lucas rubs his face on his sleeve, letting out a breath.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, uhm…”

Lucas can sense his hesitation, and smiles.

“Tell me.”

“My friends and I were gonna have another call, I thought you’d like to join?” He pauses again. “The guys, but also some others.”

“Will they like me?” Lucas asks, only half joking. His voice is small.

“Of course.”

“When?”

“I don’t know yet, probably Friday? But they talked about Thursday, I’ll text you when we figure it out.”

“Okay.”

“And you can call or text any of them whenever, if you need a distraction or…”

“Jens?” Lucas whispers after a quiet second.

“Yeah?”

Lucas shuts his eyes again.

“Thank you.”

- - -

There aren’t many other people Lucas talks to from school. He exchanges messages with Mohamed from literature for a little bit, but the conversation doesn’t really go anywhere. The only other message he gets is from a girl, Élina, who he doesn’t recognise, but most of her posts were photographed at school. (Lucas wandered around the campus after arriving in Antwerp, just to see. There was no one there, save for an older woman who looked at Lucas disdainfully.)

Her message, heyyyyy youre new right?, makes Lucas cringe, reading it in the same voice as the girls that used to approach him at parties. The girls that he would flirt back with, doing everything in his power to ignore the uncomfortable churn in his stomach, the twisting of his nerves as the girls reached out and pushed his curls back or brushed their fingertips over his jaw and freckles. It made him so viscerally uncomfortable that for a while he wondered if he could be attracted to anyone at all. He even did research, finding out about the spectrums of asexuality and aromanticism, trying to find what fit, but nothing ever did. It was then that he decided he should probably experiment, and eventually he realised he doesn’t mind hands touching his hair and face softly or eyes looking at him like that when it’s another boy.

He still pretended, though. Even when his phone had the notifications set to not appear on his screen, notifications from pretty boys and their photos and slick words, he would press girls against walls and listen to their giggles and whispers, ignoring the ugly thoughts he couldn’t stop thinking.

He’s tired of pretending.

So when Élina sends him a message one night as he waits for Jens to get Lotte to sleep, a message that reads sooo do you have a girlfriend 👀, he sets his jaw and takes a deep breath before responding.

élina i’m gay

She responds with the laughing emoji, and he waits as she types, until lol no worries appears, followed by lucky boys ;).

He exhales and responds with a smiley face.

- - -

“Hey,” Lucas says softly when Moyo appears on his screen.

“Hey,” he says back, whispering. “Why are we quiet?”

Lucas chuckles, wrinkling his nose at him.

“My dad’s in the living room,” he explains. “You don’t have to be quiet. I have headphones.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Where is everyone?”

“They’re coming,” Moyo says, checking his phone. “How’ve you been?”

Lucas hesitates, wondering if he should tell him anything he’s told Jens. But he doesn’t want to fuck up the mood before the party’s even started.

“Fine,” he says. “I’ve been doing homework and stuff.”

“Gross.”

“Copying Jens’s maths.”

“As you should.”

“Oh my god!” Lucas says, setting his laptop on his bed as he remembers suddenly.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I just…” He pauses as he reaches to grab his sketchbook from the ground next to him. “I had something for you, I just remembered.” He sits back to see Moyo’s eyebrows raised.

“For me?”

“Something to show you, yeah.” He grabs his phone. “I’ll text you a picture, hold on.”

He waits as it sends, awkwardly tilting his head back and forth until Moyo lets out an Oh!

“Holy— Oh my god!” His voice has risen several octaves, and Lucas giggles, his eyes squinting under his grin. “That’s me!”

“Yeah!”

“You actually— Oh my god.” Moyo pulls his phone close to his face, hiding himself from Lucas as he looks at the photo of the sketch more intently.

“I said you have a nice face.”

“Lucaaaassss,” Moyo whines, and Lucas giggles again, leaning down and resting his chin on his hands happily. “This is so cool.”

Lucas is relieved, if he’s honest. He’d done the drawing late last night, looking back and forth between his sketchbook and a photo from Moyo’s Instagram.

“You like it?”

Moyo lets out an indignant noise, looking at Lucas with wide eyes.

“I fucking love it, bro.”

“Yeah?”

Moyo’s box shifts as Lucas grins at him, and Jens appears next to him.

“Hey,” Jens says brightly as Lucas’s eyes move to him. “What’s up?”

“Can I show him, Luc?” Moyo asks excitedly, and it takes Lucas a second to rip his eyes away from Jens’s pixelated face to answer, “Yeah, course.”

“I’ll text it.”

“What’s going on?” Jens asks, confused, and a little thrill goes through Lucas at the sight of his wrinkled brow.

“Lucas drew me!”

Jens’s eyebrows raise and he grins.

“Yeah?”

Lucas’s face burns when Jens receives the photo, when Jens exclaims that it’s so fucking good, man, when Jens looks up at him through the camera, and Lucas can feel his eyes on him, his delight.

“You wanted to draw someone and you chose Moyo?” Jens asks, grinning as Moyo lets out an offended “Hey!”

Lucas’s face burns again, and he hopes Jens (and Moyo, he supposes) can’t see his cheeks bloom. He shrugs, forcing a grin.

“I said he has a nice face.”

As Moyo playfully shoos at him, saying “Oh, stop it,” and looking back at the drawing, Jens’s eyebrows quirk up and his eyes widen as he leans forward slightly.

Oh.

Oh no.

Lucas glances at Moyo, who is still looking down, and then back at Jens, shaking his head. Jens’s brows raise more and he starts to smile, starts to beam, amusement in his eyes.

No, Lucas mouths, shaking his head harder, but before they can continue their silent conversation, the boxes shift again and a girl’s voice says, “What’s up, fuckers?”

“Luca,” Moyo says indignantly, as Jens laughs. It takes Lucas a second to look away from Jens to the girl, who has her hand clapped over her mouth.

“I don’t know you,” she says, dropping it and leaning close. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he assures her. “We’re basically already friends.”

“I’m Luca,” she says, holding a hand out to the camera.

“Lucas.”

He copies her and they shake, both laughing lightly.

“Where is everyone?” Luca asks.

“They’ll be here soon,” Jens says.

It takes a little while for them all to arrive.

Zoë comes in next (she smiles when Lucas compliments her hair), followed by Aaron and Amber who, Lucas has to agree with Aaron, is very pretty. Not Lucas’s type (obviously), but pretty nonetheless. Robbe and Sander arrive next, almost simultaneously, and after an onslaught of teasing from Moyo and Luca, Jens interrupts to tell Lucas to show Sander his art.

“Uhhh…” Lucas grabs at his phone before looking up again. “Moyo.”

“On it,” Moyo says sharply, looking away and lifting his phone.

Lucas flushes under Sander’s praise.

Yasmina joins next, already smiling as she appears on Lucas’s screen. She’s wearing a yellow hijab, and the brightness of her smile with the soft fabric makes Lucas think of the sun. (He tells her, exclaiming “You look like sunshine!” to which she responds with a squeal and a bright, flushed, broad smile.)

Jana appears last.

She’s smiling when she appears too, but it’s a smaller smile, almost sad.

“Hey,” Zoë says when Jana’s arrival interrupts conversation. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Jana says dismissively. “Where’s the new kid? I gotta find you.” Her eyes scan her screen and Lucas waves his hand. “Ah!”

“Lucas,” he says, pressing his hand to his chest.

“Jana,” she says with a smile.

She’s sweet. Her laugh is nice.

Lucas knows he doesn’t really have a reason to not like her. But he can’t seem to help it as he listens to her tease Jens, to Jens tease her. As he watches Jens’s eyes while Jana speaks, as he watches Jana’s eyes as Jens speaks. There’s nothing for him really to go on, nothing really to suggest anything between them except Lucas’s overthinking.

He can’t stop overthinking.

He can’t even tell if Jens’s eyes are really softening when Jana speaks or if it’s just Lucas’s mind telling him they are, or if Jens is really saying Jana in a certain way.

(He can’t really tell if Jana is Daisy or not.)

It’s dark when everyone leaves. Dark dark. In everyone’s room, except Amber, who leaves all her lights on, including a lamp next to her. Zoë leaves first, because We have school tomorrow!, followed by Robbe because he’s actively falling asleep.

Jana leaves last, still chatting with Jens, who involves Lucas for his input. It’s sweet, especially as Lucas just… sits there, listening and watching.

He still gives her a friendly bye-bye wave when she leaves. It’s not her fault he’s the way he is. And she really is nice.

“So,” Jens says firmly when it’s just them, rocking forward and making the same face he did earlier, when Moyo wasn’t looking.

“No,” Lucas answers, already shaking his head.

“You don’t know what I’m gonna say!” Jens exclaims, delighted. His voice is hushed, and he’s wearing headphones (he’d gotten them out about halfway through the call), looking awfully lovely.

“I know exactly what you’re going to say, and the answer is no.”

“No what?”

“No,” Lucas insists, not really wanting to say it. “I don’t have a crush on Moyo.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Jens makes a face full of doubt, complete with raised eyebrows and a downward tilted chin.

“I don’t.”

“You said he has a nice face,” Jens teases.

“He does,” Lucas insists. “But so does… Yasmina. That doesn’t mean I have a crush on her.”

“…Okay, fair.”

Lucas doesn’t tell him about the drawings.

The ones stuffed into the boxes in his room, hidden away where he doesn’t have to see them, the ones of photos from Jens’s Instagram, the ones of subtle screenshots Lucas takes during their Facetime calls, the ones of Jens focussing on his maths homework while Lucas pretends to pay attention. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tell him about them. He doesn’t know what he’ll do with them.

“What did you think of the girls?” Jens asks, setting his chin on her forearm. He’s laying on his stomach, and Lucas wants to memorise the image: Jens looking up at him with sleep in his eyes, looking awfully precious.

“They’re really nice,” Lucas says honestly. He almost mirrors him, but instead he moves onto his side, resting his legs around the laptop and laying on his head on a curled arm. “Amber makes me think of someone I know in Utrecht.”

“Is she also a human strawberry?”

Lucas blinks.

“Actually, yeah. That’s…”

“I’m a genius,” Jens sighs, and Lucas makes a face.

“Fuck you,” Jens laughs, his eyes squinting, and then closing completely as he yawns into his arm.

“You should sleep.”

“You should sleep,” Jens retorts, laying his head down and looking at Lucas. His eyelids are low. Lucas’s heart skips a beat. “I don’t wanna go to bed,” Jens complains, oblivious to Lucas’s internal crisis of the admiration of sleepy Jens.

“We have school tomorrow,” he points out.

“You’re worth it,” Jens mumbles.

And Lucas fucking f a l l s .

“Cheesy bitch,” he says, ignoring his heart’s free-fall, and Jens giggles. It’s a sleepy laugh, raw and unfiltered, and Lucas smiles at it.

“Jens?” Lucas asks softly after a minute, and Jens’s eyes flutter open. Maybe he was asleep. But he smiles when his eyes settle on Lucas.

“Mmhmm?”

“Did you mean it? That you… That you’ll take me around when we can meet up?”

Jens’s brows furrow for a second and he lifts his head.

“Yeah, of course.” He sets his chin on his arm. “I’ll take you wherever. We’ll have to stay distanced for a while but…” He shrugs. “I’ll keep you out of your apartment.”

Lucas nuzzles into his arm and Jens lays his head down again, still looking at him.

“You don’t think it’ll be awkward?” Lucas says. “Last time I met up with someone from the internet it was super awkward.”

He doesn’t mention that he’d met the boy on a dating app, and that they’d hooked up and left.

“I won’t let it be,” Jens says, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll let my full extrovert personality come out.” He sighs. “You can be awkward if you want. I won’t.”

“Okay,” Lucas whispers. He’s not sure if Jens hears.

[literallywhyistaken]

When Remus Lupin walked into his classroom, he immediately knew that they would not get that much work done today.

How?

Well first of the entire class had broken up into friendship groups and were all talking around a phone, and, Remus knew exactly why.

Dammit, Sirus.

He had specifically told him to wait until the year 10s hade done their exam. Though to be fair he had been waiting to release that video for a while now.

Given the fact that there was still 5 minutes until the start of class, Remus walked over to his desk and started to prepare his lesson for the day. He was just about done when his phone buzzed.

Pads💗💗💗 - heeey babe sorry about releasing the video early. I just felt like I couldn't wait any more u know?

- how are the students?

- are you mad?

- oh god you haven't replied you are so mad at me

- I'm sorryyyy

Remus silently chuckled at the sight of his clingy overthinking adorable boyfriend freaking out even though he sent all of those texts in a span of 10 seconds.

Sirius had released a video 5 hours earlier, titled coming out. In just 1 hour it had gotten over 5 thousand views. When Remus had woken up, (obviously since Padfoot was not next to him,) he had come out and seen him pacing around nervously in the lounge room. Sirius had been worried that everything was going to backfire, and as soon as he had seen Remus he immediately burst into a rather large and repetitive rant, that was only silenced when Remus had wrapped his arms around him.

After he had calmed down, Remus told him off for posting it earlier than they agreed, as multiple students in his history class he knew were definitely in love with his boyfriend. At times it was really disturbing, (like when Sirius posts a shirtless pic on Instagram, and they are usually taken by Remus.) but most of the girls, have learnt to keep it on the down-low. And he had not wanted Sirius to post before the test in one of his classes.

Remus took his phone in two hands and replied,

Moony💗🌑💗 - don't worry I'm not mad.

- maybe a little grumpy but not mad.

Pads💗💗💗 - got it I will have chocolate when you get home.

- how are the kids?

Moony💗🌑💗 - distracted. I think I'm going to have to postpone the test.

Just as Remus press send, a shrill bell ripped through the air, making everyone jump out of their skins. Whereas Remus just stayed still and texted goodbye to Sirius. After both going to school and teaching here, you get used to it.

"Ok class, I want phones away and everything off your desks except for a pen or pencil." Remus walked up and down the rows, handing out test sheets.

When he got to the back of the last row, he stood behind one specific student. Mindy Mor. She was currently giggling at her phone like a lovesick teenage girl. When Remus looked over her shoulder to see what she was looking at, he inwardly cringed. Mindy had screenshotted all of the shirtless pictures from Sirius Instagram and was currently zooming in on Remus's boyfriend's abs. Even though he would never admit it, he didn't blame her. He was very lucky.

"Phone Mindy," Remus demanded. He took her phone, and ignoring her grumbling, and placed a test in front of her.

"You can have this back at the end of the day."

------------------------------------------------------

For the rest of the week, Remus kept hearing ridiculous rumours about the one and only, Sirus Black.

The day of the test Remus had come home to a ridiculously happy Sirius, as the majority of his subscribers had accepted him and even asked if he was dating anyone. And of course, he slipped up and said that yes indeed he dating someone, but did not give way who.

Since then Remus has heard nothing but rumours about who he could be dating. Some of them were quite funny actually. Such as Sirus dating fellow marauder, James Potter. (Remus had almost snorted at that one.)

When he informed James and Sirius about it, it sparked a long debate between the two on whether James could indeed 'score' Sirius. (Remus had to eventually drag Sirius out so that Harry could be put to bed and everyone could have dinner.)

However, it did have some downsides. Somehow, someone had found out that Sirius used to go to this school and that one of the teachers, Minerva McGonagall had taught him. Then that leads to them finding out that James, Sirus, Remus and Peter had all been best friends when they were at school. However, Remus managed to dodge the questions, by insisting that they were no longer in contact.

("no Mindy I cannot give you Sirus Blacks number so you can confess your undying love. I said no Mindy.")

Then Sirus released a new video titled: MARAUDERS BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

In it, it just had Sirius, James, and Peter catching and pretending that they hadn't seen each other since high school.

"Hey Moony why arent you going to be in the video again?" James questioned as Sirius set up the camera. James and Peter had gotten here an hour early accidentally. Now while Sirius was setting up, they were all sitting in the lounge room and the kitchen talking. Remus was sitting on the counter facing James, who was on the floor playing with Harry and Peter who was curled up in an armchair.

"If I'm in the video then I will get pestered with questions from my students," Remus answered. "And like half of the girls in 3 of my classes are absolutely in love with my boyfriend!" he said gesturing to Sirius.

James smirked, as Sirius turned around and walked into the kitchen.

"You jealous Moony?" James teased, resulting in a very colourful hand gesture thrown his way.

"Aww don't worry Re. I'm not going anywhere." Sirius said from behind Remus, pecking him on his temple.

"Oh come on guys get a room. Harry's here for god's sake!"

------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Remus woke up with Sirius's arms wrapped around his waist. It appeared that they had both slept through the alarm due to them.........not getting much sleep.

In result to the extra sleep the couple had earned, Remus missed the first 5 minutes of his first lesson. And so he had to be dropped off, by Sirius.

Now it is a well-known fact that Sirius Black drives a Porsche 550 Spyder. Whatever that is. And of course all the students in the school new that Sirius rode that exact car, so that was a little bit of a problem when they rode up into the car park, and there were still kids in the playground.

Sirius, knowing his boyfriends need for privacy, was wearing a cap to cover his head.

However, being a Black comes with a flair for the dramatic. So before Remus had the chance to jump out of the car, Sirius grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in for a kiss. It was short but sweet.

When Sirius pulled away, he nodded towards the school building and said,

"You'd better get going. Love you!"

Remus smiled as he climbed out of the car.

"Love you too."

------------------------------------------------------

Remus thought everything was ok. He had listened to all the conversations shooting around his classroom before the first break, and there was nothing about him.

When he went to enter the teacher's lounge, he was suddenly stopped right outside the door by two girls from the school newspaper.

"Hello, ladies... can I help you with something?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"Sir, you were late for school, yes?" One of them asked, who Remus remembered as Evie.

"Only five minutes," Remus replied.

"And you were dropped off by your boyfriend, right?" Evie pressed

"May I ask where this is going?" Remus said tying to cover up the fact that his heart had started to beat faster and his palms had started to sweat.

"Well the car that you drove here in is a Porsche 550 Spyder, and it is a well-known fact that you both knew Sirius Black and that Sirius Black drives a Porsche 550 Spyder. So I just wanted to ask Mr Lupin, are you dating Sirius Black?"

Remus hesitated.

"No. And I would appreciate it if you didn't ask me again."

------------------------------------------------------

For the next two weeks, Remus kept getting asked question after question after question.

"Are you dating Sirius Black?"

"Do you still talk to Sirius Black?"

"Can you help me meet Sirius Black?"

And to make matters worse, one specifically creepy student had made an announcement at the start of one of his classes saying that even though their teacher had denied that he was dating Sirius, he had made a fanfiction about the two of them and posted it on Wattpad.

Remus had looked at it, and it already had 100K views.

Remus was tired. He was getting questioned every day at work, and all over social media. Everyone had noticed, and he knew that Sirius was worried, but he hadn't said anything yet.

It was Friday, two days before Sirus and Remus's 6th anniversary. Every year they do something big, whether it is with other people or together. Normally, Remus gets more excited as the day gets closer. However, now he was either stressing out about going back to school or staring into space. And Sirius was getting really worried.

Remus was sitting on the dining room table with both hands wrapped around a mug. Its winter at the moment so Remus has his usual. Earl Grey.

When Sirius gets home from James and Lily's house it Godric Hollow, he walks inside the apartment and sees him sitting there staring off into space. He immediately knows what he has to do. (Well not immediately, but if you ask he will just deny it.) Sirius dumps his bag on the kitchen counter and walks over and sits next to him.

"Re."

Remus's head shoots up and he blinks a couple of times like he's coming out of a daze.

"Hmmm"

"Ok, what's wrong. And don't say nothing, you know that I know when your lying.

Remus sighed and looked back down at the table.

"It's just that I'm getting constantly questioned at work, I mean even my colleagues, other teachers are asking me now!! Its just....a lot."

Sirius sighed. He hated seeing the love of his life so upset and being helpless.

He opened his mouth as so try and say something comforting when Remus blurted out,

"I want to tell people. And no not our friends, I am aware that they already know, I meant all your subscribes."

Sirius's mouth fell open. He had approached Remus on the topic of telling people multiple times both before and after he had come out to people on youtube. And every time Remus had turned him down.

A huge grin spread over Sirius's face and he slipped down on to the floor and crouched in front of Remus's chair.

"Really? You actually want your students to know? Are you sure?"

"I mean I think so. I don't think I could hold it any much longer anyway." Remus replied a sheepish grin growing on his face.

Sirius couldn't stop the smile growing bigger on his face matching Remus.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Then Sirius closed the gap between them and the world around them fell quiet.

------------------------------------------------------

Sirius placed the camera on the cupboard in front of their bed and turned the camera on. He then turned around and moved all the photos of him and Remus out of the way.

"Hey Siri, you want some coffee?" Remus yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'd love some thanks, babe!" Sirius replied.

Sirius finished setting up the room and then started to walk out into the lounge room. After Remus had agreed to tell Sirius's fans that they were dating, they had both stayed up half the night trying to plan the perfect revel video. And then when they were getting ready for bed, Sirius had thought of the perfect idea.

Sirius was going to do a live QandA session. Even though Remus was convinced, that someone would ask whether they were dating, Sirius had insisted on a backup plan. So if no one asked 2 minutes into the live, then James, who would also be there, ("Why would you want to be there James??" "Because of the drama Moony. Why else??") would create a fake fan account and ask the question.

Sirius had thought about doing it the day after their anniversary, (as he knows how much of a romantic his boyfriend is.) but Remus wanted to do it on their anniversary.

I mean what would be more romantic than confessing your love for each other in front of thousands of people? And while most likely being recorded?

Sirius walked into the kitchen just as Remus was putting their tea and coffee down on the bench.

Sirius smiled as Remus put both milk and sugar into his coffee, (because you cannot convince me that no matter how hard he tries to be a badass that he is really a softie) and slid the mug across the bench.

Remus then turned back around smirking at him, walking towards the fridge for the milk."What's the time? When do you have to start the live?" Remus asked innocently pouring milk into his mug.

"Ummm" Sirius replied quickly checking his watch for the time." it's 3:28. I need to start the live at 3:30 and I should be out here at least by 4:00." He said as he glanced up at his boyfriend raising his coffee to his mouth to take a sip.

Remus stared at him blankly while Sirius glanced around the room wondering why Remus was looking at him like that. (he usually looked at him another way)

"It's 3:30!!! Get in there!! I'll start cooking and, I promise to attempt to not burn the kitchen down. I remember what happened last time." He added as Sirius opened his mouth to interject.

Sirius closed his mouth and smiled, nodding and turning back around to run into the pair's bedroom.

"Hey! I think you forgot something!" Remus cried out as soon he had left the room.

At the sound of his voice, Sirius poked his head back into the doorway with a curious expression on his face.

Keeping that expression on his face, he crept forward towards a visibly confused Remus. Then, he crept up next to him and pecked a kiss on his temple. And then, promptly, ran away.

Remus stood frozen for about 2 seconds before yelling back,

"No! Your coffee!"

"Merlin. No respect." He muttered.

------------------------------------------------------

Sirius plunked himself down on the end of the couple's bed, leaning forward and switching the camera on.

He waited for a few seconds, letting people on first before saying,

"Hey, guys welcome to my live QandA and before anyone asks, no Prongs is not here today. He has decided to be a little shit and hang out with his kid. You guys remember Harry."

Sirius smiled at the thought of Harry, (and of course, insulting James.

He peered at the screen and smirked when he saw a comment from the man in question expressing his outrage for the name-calling.

Smiling he sat back again and spoke,

"Ok so I'm going to let you guys into the live one at a time to ask one question, (it's on Instagram) so start requesting!"

Sirius had had about 25 questions before he got to the one he was looking for. And he had been asked some odd questions to. One girl who came on the live was wearing such revelling clothes that she basically had a bikini on. And it gets worse.

Her question was whether or not he could take his shirt off. As soon as she had finished speaking, Padfoot heard a loud indignant and outraged cry coming from the kitchen. He turned his head towards the sound chuckling at Moonys antics.

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MINDY! KICK HER OF THE DAMM LIVE SIRIUS!!"

He was still smiling as he turned back around, but it vanished as soon as he saw the screen again. Immediately, like a reflex, he leaned forward and kicked her off the live. He could sense Remus's sigh of relief.

He then proceeded to make a speech about not doing that. Around 10 minutes after that a girl with glasses and a notepad came on who Sirius vaguely recognised as Evie from Hogwarts.

"Hi there kiddo, what's your question," Sirius asked almost dreading what was coming up.

"Hi Mr Black I was just wondering-"

"Oh no. No Mr, please. Makes me feel old. Just call me Sirius." He insisted holding a hand up to the camera.

"Oh ok." She replied looking a little bit surprised.

"Well my name is Evie Johnson, and I go to Hogwarts Secondary School. I believe that you went there as well. Oh no that's not my question"

She added as Sirius opened his mouth.

"And when you were there, according to my research, your group of friends was James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Now as I'm sure you know Mr Lupin is a teacher at Hogwarts, a history teacher and rumours have been flowing around the school-"

"You want to know if Remus and I are dating," Sirius smirked.

"Well yes," Evie said looking a bit disgruntled at being interrupted. A giddy feeling erupted in Sirius's stomach as he answered,

"Well how about I show you. Then you can decide for yourself."

Sirius got up and walked out to the kitchen grabbing the camera as he went.

"Ok, Evie I'm going to disconnect you from the live that was a lovely question, I was honestly hoping for it. Ok! guys, my boyfriend is in the kitchen attempting to make dinner, ("last time he tried he almost burned down the kitchen and he definitely destroyed his eyebrows.") and I or we, I guess, are going to surprise him."

This next bit is from a viewers perspective.

Sirius placed the camera in front of the T.V and stuck his thumbs up at the camera before standing up and rubbing his hands together.

Behind him was the kitchen where a man in his early 30s was cooking with his back to the camera.

Oliver looked at the screen, and read the comments as Sirius prepared to walk over to the mystery man who was supposedly his idols boyfriend.

- oh my god i'm so jealous I wonder who it is

- I bet 50 pounds that its Mr Lupin

- OH MY GOD IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT JUST TELL US

Oliver of course had no idea who this Mr lupin was. He didn't go to Hogmarts Secondary School or whatever it was called. But he was still extremely curious to know.

The man turned around and walked to the front of the counter and turned to face the camera side-on, continuing to cook, seemingly not noticing Sirius and the camera.

As soon as the mystery man's face was revealed to the camera the live was flooded with comments such as:

- HOLY SHIT ITS MR LUPIN

- THAT'S MY HISTORY TEACHER IDIOTS

-OMG CALLED IT!

They were basically all along those lines. The man continued to cook, somehow oblivious to the chaotic live over here.

Sirius walked up behind the man and wrapped his arms around his waist. Immediately the man smiled and leaned back into Sirius.

Oliver had to admit they were quite cute.

Then Sirius leaned forward a little bit more and whispered something in his ear. The man, (supposedly Remus Lupin,) smiled and leaned into him more.

To Oliver, it looked like they were really in love, and if that really is Remus Lupin, then they would have been in love for a long time.

He glanced back down at the comments and saw that the theme of them hadn't changed. People were still expressing their shock.

Somehow.

When he looked back up at the couple he saw Sirius laughed at something that his boyfriend had said.

Remus then turned around and wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck, and Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist.

Sirius closed the distance between them and kissed him softly as Remus melted into the kiss. Remus arms tightened around Padfoots neck, and Sirius smiled into the kiss.

The theme of the comments had changed into both awwwww and ewwwww apparently some of Mr Lupins students don't really want to see him making out with his boyfriend.

Suddenly the screen went black and the live ended.

------------------------------------------------------

Remus went back to work the next day feeling both nervous and excited. Excited, because for the first time since Sirius started his YouTube channel, he didn't have to hide who he was dating. (I mean he didn't usually tell them, but we all know Remus. He doesn't like lying.)

And nervous because, well I think that's obvious. He had gotten several emails from his students in multiple classes, plus they had also posted something to Google Classroom.

Remus had made sure to get to the school early to avoid any unwanted attention from students in the schoolyard. He walked straight through the school, into the classroom, only pausing to wave or say hello to specific teachers.

When he reached his room, he finished setting up the lesson and was writing the date on the board when a student came into the classroom. He didn't see who it was, they disappeared out of his view before he had a chance to see their face. He finished writing the date up and turned around saying

"Hello, welcome back. If you just take a seat the bell will be going soon-"

In front of his desk stood a stony-faced Mindy, with her posse behind her.

"Can I help you with something Ms More?"

"Yes, I believe you can sir." She replied. "Why didn't you tell us that you are dating Sirius Black??" She demanded, leaning slightly towards him accusatorially.

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Well given the fact that is my personal business I really didn't see the need," Remus replied calmly as he sat down on his desk.

"But sir that's not fair. I mean we have a right to know and not find out on some live video-"

"And why is my life and who I'm dating any concern of yours?" Remus said fiercely, cutting her off and standing back up and placing his hands on the desk looking down at the teen.

Mindy immediately backed of a flash of regret shooting across her face.

"Oh no sir I didn't mean it like that-"

"Really Mindy. Then I wonder how you meant because I don't see how else that could be taken."

Before Mindy could open her mouth to defend her self, Remus snapped out:

"Enough. Thats detention. Go sit down."

When Mindy opened her mouth to complain, Remus held up his finger as if saying wait for it, then suddenly the ear-splitting bell reverberated through the walls and Mindy shut her mouth and sat down.

------------------------------------------------------

When he finally got his class to sit down and shut up, he started his lesson on the suffragette movement. (Because we all know that Remus is a massive feminist,) However halfway through, he noticed that the entire class was either talking or giggling at their computer screens. So, continuing to talk about the suffragettes, he walked up the side row, and stood behind one student who was staring at their laptop. Except they weren't staring at their laptop. they had their phone out, and were re-watching Sirius's live from Saturday.

Sighing, Remus leaned forward and snatched the phone out of the kids hands, saying on the way back to the front of the class,

"You can have this back later."

"Now," Remus announced as he leaned on the back of his desk facing the front of the class, "As it is very clear that none of you are focusing, you can all ask 15 questions."

No one moved, they just all stared at him blankly.

Remus sighed and then added, "personal questions allowed."

Exactly 15 hands shot up.

Surprised, Remus hesitated before choosing a girl in the second row named Jessie.

"Jessie." Remus said pointing at her to continue.

Putting her hand down she asked, "Sir, are you really dating Sirius Black?"

Remus breathed out a laugh, and replied with the words he never thought that he would say.

"Yes. I am."

[ep1cg33k]

The AUs (+Dream and Nightmare) Start a Chat Group

Introduction: Alright, I had a random idea, that amused me. What if these dorks started a chat group. Fair warning, this is coming off of G33kVerse, and will potentially contain spoilers for "Literary Nightmare", and "G33kTale". (Yes, I have finally decided that Literary Nightmare is a part of the multiverse of G33kTale.) Now, to the spoilers: Nightmare has been uncorrupted. Ink isn't there because he is dead. (No, I will not tell you how he died.) G33k has met them. (No, I will not say how, all you need to know is that they meet them.) You have been fully informed, now. So...

Onward to the chat group!

The actual thing itself:

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25 has joined the chat.

Angy Octopus has joined the chat.

G33k has joined the chat.

WalkingWindowsVista has joined the chat.

WalkingWindowsVista: Who named me that?!

Angy Octopus: Not me.

G33k: Lol.

WalkingWindowsVista: G33k!!!

Angy Octopus: You're only supposed to put one exclamation point. Like this: G33k, it's rude to take people's phones, and do things like that! See?

WalkingWindowsVista: 🙄

Angy Octopus: Rude.

G33k: It wasn't me, I just thought it was funny.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I THINK I KNOW WHO DID IT.

WalkingWindowsVista: Who?

Angy Octopus: Blue, your caps lock is on.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I KNOW, IT'S STUCK.

G33k: How? Didn't you just get a new phone?

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: YES. I'M STARTING TO THINK I'M CURSED. 😢

WalkingWindowsVista: Answer me, berry!

Angy Octopus: I don't think you're cursed. Maybe you just have a habit of accidentally turning it on.

G33k: Makes sense.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: HOW, THOUGH? I DON'T HOLD THE SHIFT BUTTON THAT LONG.

Angy Octopus: Oh, you turn caps on by holding "Shift"?

G33k: Yeah...?

WalkingWindowsVista: TELL ME WHO CHANGED MY NAME!!!

Angy Octopus: OH, COOL! Now if only I could figure out emojis. :(

G33k: You could get Dream to help you.

Angy Octopus: He's busy helping one of the AUs.

G33k: Oh.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: IF YOU COME TO UNDERSWAP, I COULD HELP YOU! 😁

Angy Octopus: No, it's alright, I can wait on Dream. And while I wait on him, I can figure out some of these things on my own. :)

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: IF YOU SAY SO.

oglzy🦴 has joined the chat.

oglzy🦴: sup

G33k: Hello, Classic.

WalkingWindowsVista: WILL SOMEONE PLS TELL ME WHO CHANGED MY NAME!!!!!!!!!

oglzy🦴: wut's the vista's malfunction

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: OH RIGHT, I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM WHO I THINK CHANGED HIS NAME!

WalkingWindowsVista: About time!

G33k: Aren't Windows Vistas always malfunctioning? 🤨

oglazy🦴: lol

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I THINK FRESH CHANGED IT. HE'S ALWAYS MESSING WITH YOU, AND IT CERTAINLY WASN'T INK, AS HE...

Angy Octopus: How about we talk about something else?

WalkingWindowsVista: Of course it was Fresh. Why can't that parasite leave me alone?!

Angy Octopus left the chat.

G33k: Why did Nightmare leave?

oglazy🦴: prob hit the wrong button

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I'LL INVITE HIM BACK TO THE CHAT GROUP. 😅

Angy Octopus has joined the chat.

Angy Octopus: Wrong button.

oglazy🦴: called it

Angy Octopus: But, in the process I did find the emoji board! 😄

G33k: 👍

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: NOCE.

WalkingWindowsVista: Nice*

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: THAT'S WHAT I MEANT, I JUST HIT ENTER TOO SOON.

oglzy🦴: oof

G33k: Mood.

Angy Octopus: All of you are making me feel old.

oglzy🦴: aren't u over 500

Angy Octopus: Maybe.

WalkingWindowsVista: Hey, noot, I found the perfect emojis for you! 🐙👴

Angy Octopus: 😒

oglzy🦴: lol

G33k: Be nice.

Angy Octopus: What does "lol" mean?

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: IT MEANS "LAUGH OUT LOUD".

WalkingWindowsVista: What the berry said.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: PLEASE STOP CALLING ME "BERRY". IT'S ANNOYING.

WalkingWindowsVista: Ok, berry.

Angy Octopus: This chat group was a terrible idea.

G33k: I couldn't agree more.

NeighbrohoodSkelepal has joined the chat.

G33k: I stand corrected.

NeighbrohoodSkelepal: Sup, broskis?

WalkingWindowsVista: End me. Please just end me.

NeighbrohoodSkelepal has left the chat.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: THERE. I KICKED HIM OUT. SERIOUSLY, HOW DID HE EVEN GET IN WITHOUT ME INVITING HIM?

Angy Octopus: Don't ask me, I don't even know how to turn down the brightness on this frustratingly difficult to use piece of technology.

G33k: Don't feel bad. For a long time, I couldn't figure out how to make a screenshot.

oglzy🦴: srsly kid

G33k: Yep.

Angy Octopus: Seriously, kid?*

oglzy🦴: wut's wrong with how i'm typing

Angy Octopus: It's a little annoying to me.

WalkingWindowsVista: Says the one who has "Angy" in their name.

Angy Octopus: I didn't name myself this.

WalkingWindowsVista: Then who did?

Angy Octopus: Cross did.

G33k: 😑

G33k: Of course.

Gold Harted Been has joined the chat.

Gold Harted Been: Hello.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: HELLO, DREAM.

Angy Octopus: Dream, your name is spelled wrong.

Gold Harted Been: I know. I meant to fix it, but I've been too busy.

G33k: That name does seem fitting, though.

WalkingWindowsVista: It would be more fitting if it were "Gold Hearted Nuisance".

oglzy🦴: do u have anything that's not rude to say

WalkingWindowsVista: Nope.

Angy Octopus: Can you please refrain from throwing insults at my brother? At least he hasn't been a pile of salt the whole time he's been here, and does something other than sit around in a blank space watching a soap opera AU.

G33k: Oh dang!

oglzy🦴: 10 points to the noot lord

WalkingWindowsVista: Nerd.

Angy Octopus: Vexatious insect.

Gold Harted Been: Please stop fighting.

WalkingWindowsVista: I would've loved to see you still being controlled by that parasitic creature.

Angy Octopus: Fresh is going to get you one of these days, and I'm going to laugh.

WalkingWindowsVista: You and your corrupted self aren't that different.

Angy Octopus: What's that supposed to mean?!

G33k: Error, stop!

WalkingWindowsVista: You're both evil and only want to see others suffer.

Gold Harted Been: Nightmare, don't listen to him.

oglzy🦴: Error, that was uncalled for!

WalkingWindowsVista: Well, it's true. Only someone who's really evil would wish Fresh upon someone, or laugh if they got nabbed by him.

Gold Harted Been: You started it!

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: DREAM'S RIGHT. YOU STARTED THE FIGHT BY BEING A JERK TO DREAM, AND HE WAS JUST TRYING TO STAND UP FOR HIM. WHEN PEOPLE ARE MAD THEY SAY THINGS THEY DON'T MEAN. HONESTLY, THE ONLY EVIL ONE WHO'S LIKELY TO BE EVIL HERE IS YOU. YOU DESTROY WORLDS. WHAT HAS NIGHTMARE DONE?

WalkingWindowsVista: He makes people miserable.

Gold Harted Been: No he doesn't! That's just his

Gold Harted Been: I forgot how to spell it.

G33k: Aura?

Gold Harted Been: I think so.

Angy Octopus: Dream, it's fine. There's no need to stand up for me. After all, he's probably right. I'm just going to leave the chat.

Angy Octopus has left the chat.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: GREAT, NOW SEE WHAT YOU DID?!

WalkingWindowsVista: Yup, and I feel no guilt for it. 😎

G33k: Lol, that emoji kinda resembles Fresh.

WalkingWindowsVista: Great... Now I have another thing that parasite has ruined.

oglzy🦴: u do realize wat u might've just done right

WalkingWindowsVista: Upset Nightmare? He'll get over it.

Gold Harted Been: It's not hard for him to get re... Um... Help, I don't know how to spell that.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: RE-CORRUPTED.

Gold Harted Been: Thank you, Blue.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: ANYTIME, FRIEND.

WalkingWindowsVista: I doubt the situation will get that bad.

G33k: You literally did exactly what caused him to get corrupted before.

Gold Harted Been: You know about that?

G33k: Yeah, he told me.

oglzy🦴: well they do talk to each other a lot

Gold Harted Been: True.

WalkingWindowsVista: I still don't think he's going to get corrupted. You got rid of it, right? And he would have to eat more of those weird apples, right?

Gold Harted Been: No.

WalkingWindowsVista: You didn't change him back?

Gold Harted Been: No. He got free on his own.

WalkingWindowsVista: I guess that explains why he could get changed back.

oglzy🦴: energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed or transported. so, even if dream had managed to change him back, it likely would've just suppressed the corruption.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: WHAT CLASSIC SAID.

Gold Harted Been: And you say that you're lazy.

oglzy🦴: i'm

MAGNIFICENTSKELTON25: I am*

oglzy🦴: idc

G33k: That doesn't seem very lazy, to me.

oglzy🦴: being lzy doesn't mean i'm not a dork

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: YOU STILL TYPED A LOT.

oglzy🦴: who said i typed anything 😏

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: AND HERE I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT'VE BEEN HOPE FOR YOU. 😒

G33k: Lol.

Gold Harted Been: I'm going to go check on Nightmare. If I don't say anything for 7 hours, I'm likely a statue.

MAGNFICENTSKELETON25: BE CAREFUL.

G33k: Yes, please do. Being turned into a statue doesn't sound very pleasant.

oglzy🦴: sounds great to me u don't have to do anything

WalkingWindowsVista: You literally CAN'T do anything.

Stabstabstabstabstab has joined the chat.

oglzy🦴: yep that's the point

Stabstabstabstabstab: Point? 🔪🙂

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: WRONG KIND OF POINT, KILLER.

G33k: 😐

Stabstabstabstabstab: Is Cross here?

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: Why?

Stabstabstabstabstab: No reason.

oglzy🦴: wut's killer doing in the chat

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I INVITED HIM.

oglzy🦴: y

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: WHY NOT?

oglzy🦴: he's crazy

Stabstabstabstabstab: He's right.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: HE'S LITERALLY JUST YOU FROM ANOTHER TIMELINE.

WalkingWindowsVista: And you guys were getting onto me for being rude. 🙃 How hypocritical.

G33k: Pu tuhs.

WalkingWindowsVista: ???

G33k: 🙂

WalkingWindowsVista:???

G33k: ...

G33k: What?

WalkingWindowsVista: Did you really just spell "shut up" backwards?

oglzy🦴: i think they did

WalkingWindowsVista: Why?

G33k: To confuse you because I'm bored.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: GREAT GOOGALY MOOGALY THIS HAS ALL GONE TO SHOE!!!

oglzy🦴: pls tell me u did said "shoe" on purpose

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I WISH I DID.

WalkingWindowsVista: It couldn't have been Fresh, right? He left.

G33k: Yeah, and it would've said it if he rejoined.

Stabstabstabstabstab: It wasn't me.

NeighbrohoodSkelepal: I'm back, mah rad brotato pals! Ya didn't think I'd go that easily, did ya?

WalkingWindowsVista: I'm outta here!

oglzy🦴: i second that

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25: I FORGOT I HAVE TO MAKE DINNER, SO ME THREE!

G33k: Nope, not staying, either.

WalkingWindowsVista has left the chat.

oglzy🦴 has left the chat.

MAGNIFICENTSKELETON25 has left the chat.

G33k has left the chat.

Stabstabstabstabstab has left the chat.

NeighbrohoodSkelepal: Brah, dats cold, I was just gonna hang out with ya.

Le Description-

This was fun. When the AUs make a chat group, what could possibly go wrong? I'll tell you what: Everything. Everything could go wrong. Yes, this was supposed to be Blue's idea. Classic doesn't care about grammar, Dream can't spell, Nightmare doesn't know how to use anything, G33k is just there. Why did Killer want to know Cross's location? Who knows. This is Killer, he unpredictable. And poor Nightmare, he can't get a moment's peace. Error better be sorry for that. Now, to the credits! Undertale is owned by: Toby Fox   Ink is owned by: Myebi/Comyet Error and Fresh are owned by: TheCrayonQueen/loverofpiggies   Killer is owned by: rahafwabas/rahofy-stetch Dreamtale is owned by: JokuDream/jokublog   Cross is owned by: JakeiArtwork/jakei95 Underswap is owned by: The AU Community (originally popcornpr1nce)   G33kTale and G33kVerse are owned by: Me Feel free to do fanart if you want. Just, send a link, or something. I'd love to see it!

[vintagedolan]

sweet creature (egd)

ethan hates when he has to leave you for even a few days, so when he gets back, he has a little surprise planned

word count: 4.3k

warnings/tags: fluff, and then some smut to round it out WOO we goin through it today ladies and gents, harry styles (music) is involved :) 

dedicated to my bruna bby ( @ethanhes​ ) who is so strong and the sweetest girly I know. I love you!!

feel free to send in requests! and check out my masterlist if you wanna :)

Like hell you were gonna make another trip - you slid the last grocery bag onto your arm, ignoring how they were digging into your skin as you started your walk into the house. If anyone had watched you try to navigate your way in the door, it probably would have been quite the sight. But you succeeded, emerging into an empty kitchen, heaving the heavy bags up onto the counter.

Usually, you’d yell down the hall, summon the boys to help you unpack. But it would be futile - no one was home. Not even Sterling was around - the three of them were off on Wakeheart business, at the factory in Arizona where everything was actually produced so they could approve all the candle production.

You’d gotten a few pictures from the trip - bright colorful sunsets, Grayson and Sterling smiling from across the table at breakfast. But your favorites were the stupid little selfies he kept sending. Your phone buzzed in your pocket as if on cue.

Another snapchat from Ethan, this time of him with a metal straw trapped between his teeth and big smile on his face. Adorable, as always. 

cold brew mood. miss you x was the caption that flitted across the screen. You screenshotted it just in time. The next buzz was a text from him.

:(

why you screenshot

cause you looked cute

send me one back, I miss you

You rolled your eyes at that, deciding to make him wait for a minute while you started to put the groceries away. You’d only unpacked two bags before your phone buzzed again.

hey

show me ur face

omg gimme a minute 😂

im putting away the obscene amount of oat milk I just bought

DID THEY HAVE THE GOOD KIND

yep. bought three cartons

holy shit I love you

gray says he loves you too 

but I love you more

You sent him a quick snapchat to appease him, unsurprised when you got the notification that he’d screenshotted it. He always got like this when he was away - even more clingy than usual, constantly wanting to communicate with you somehow. You had to admit, you loved the idea that you were always on his mind when he wasn’t with you, even if it did mean you felt like you were constantly on your phone.

what else are you doing today?

idk might lay out by the pool for a while

without me? 😔

you should go shopping

You frowned at your phone, looking at the few boxes of pasta you had left to put away before you typed back with a huff.

I literally just got back from the grocery what do u mean

not that kind of shopping

fun shopping. like for clothes

The thought was tempting - with everything going on, you hadn’t gotten anything new in months. To be fair though, you hadn’t really needed anything new - you were just hanging around the house anyways. 

do you want me to go so I’ll stop wearing all your clothes

yes

kidding baby you know I don’t care. but you should get some new stuff, you deserve it! just use my card

I hate using your card

It wasn’t a lie. Ethan had gotten you a credit card linked to his personal account for emergencies almost six months ago, and you’d only used it a handful of times when he insisted. You never wanted him to ever think that you cared about him for his money. 

I’d be buying whatever you find if I was there, it’s the same thing

You grinned to yourself, plan already hatching. He didn’t say what you had to buy. You’d just get something small - a pack of socks, or a basic tee - with his card, and pay for the rest of it yourself. 

alright alright, fine

But his next text had you rolling your eyes. He knew you too well.

and you have buy real clothes. like at least one dress

Even though he wasn’t there to see it, your eyes squinted in accusation. 

why a dress?

you’re being sus what’s this about

you’re so stubborn holy shit. I was gonna buy you dresses for the harry concert so I want you to pick some out for yourself

Damn. You’d almost forgotten that the concert was supposed to be that night. Ethan had bought the two of you tickets back when they went on presale, using his connections to get the two of you amazing seats. E had been almost as bummed as you when it got postponed, disappointed that the night he’d had planned for you had fallen through.

it got rescheduled to august baby, we can go shopping then!

i’m impatient

omg really? I had no idea 

just go buy some dresses and send me pictures. we’re back at the factory, gotta go. I love you!

love you too!

Knowing that if you sat down you probably wouldn’t get back up, you turned back to the door with a sigh, grabbing your keys and wallet from where you’d just stowed them, heading back out to the car.

You climbed into Ethan’s Tesla, hitting your preset button on the door so the seat moved forward to where you could reach the pedals. He always insisted you take his car if he couldn’t drive you, always wanting you to be the safest you could be. It was still a bit intimidating to drive something so expensive, but you did it anyways, heading to the mall that housed most of your favorite stores with your mask on.

It turned out to be one of those days where nothing caught your eye. You really looked, scoured through the racks, hoping to find anything that looked remotely appealing or like your style. You even tried on a few that you had hopes for, but they were a bust. 

Feeling defeated you stopped for a while and got some coffee, sitting and people watching as everyone passed in their masks. Your eyes wandered to another store, one you rarely went into - it catered to your style perfectly, but everything was far out of your price range. 

But looking couldn’t hurt. Right?

That backfired as soon as you walked in, smelled that perfect fragrance that seemed to dust all the soft fabrics in the place. 

Before you knew what you’d done, you had so many options thrown over your arm that it was starting to ache. 

You stopped looking, headed to a dressing room to try and narrow down your search. Some of them were automatic no’s, the cut not flattering or the color clashing with the undertones in your skin.

But there were three winners - a tight green one that hugged your curves, a casual denim overall number that would look adorable with the right shirt, and a blue sundress that tied into a bow at the back, the fabric brushing your upper thighs.

You snapped pictures in each one, knowing Ethan would help you decide. Your bet was on the green one - he was a man, after all. But his response just made you roll your eyes.

you look hot as fuck

buy all three

no

yes

they’re expensive

I didn’t ask how much they cost. You like them all. therefore, you buy them all

it’s simple really

ethan

y/n

just tell me which one is your favorite please

if you don’t buy all three i’m just gonna go back and buy them for you later

or I’ll order them and have them shipped to the house

stop

getting online now 😌

stop it

placing an order 😌 😌

ethan grant

last chance

fine

im sticking my tongue out at you. you can’t see it but I am

ouch, im hurt

are you headed home after you buy them?

well I’m sure as hell not spending anymore money, so yeah. why?

just wondering where my girl’s gonna be. drive safe. you took the tesla right?

of course I did.

good. hurry home. but don’t hurry too much. safety first

You quirked an eyebrow at the last text - he was being so odd. He’d only been gone for two days, usually it wasn’t this bad for him. Who knew what he’d be like tomorrow before he got home.

Changing back into your clothes in a hurry, you put your rejects out on the return rack and carried your three choices to the register, trying not to listen to the total before you put Ethan’s card in the reader. 

You left the mall swiftly after that, trying to ignore the eyes on you. In reality, no one was probably looking at you, but you felt like everyone was staring as you carried your expensive bag and got in a fucking tesla. You never understood how Gray and E could walk around with such expensive things and not be fazed in the slightest. 

The drive home took longer than you would have liked considering the traffic you got caught in, but you just turned your music up, humming along as you crawled down the road towards your exit. When you finally got there you let the tesla take over, pulling you off the interstate and starting down the smaller roads that led to the house. 

Your first clue was when the song changed. At first you didn’t think much of it - you had every Harry song saved to your library, it wasn’t unusual for one to come up. 

But then, one verse into Fine Line, it skipped, the intro of Two Ghosts starting. 30 seconds later? Falling started to play through the car. 

“What the fuck?” You muttered, quickly switching off autopilot, afraid that the car may be glitching. It was only a few more minutes until you got to the house, and in that time the song switched again twice, all Harry songs. 

When you pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, your phone buzzed with your second clue.

welcome home baby

omg are you watching the cameras? that’s creepy as fuck

also the tesla just got super weird but I swear I didn’t fuck up your car

just come inside

You obliged, grabbing your bag and heading into the house.

Clue number three was that the pasta boxes you’d left on the counter were gone, put away no doubt on the shelf that you couldn’t reach. You froze.

Someone was in the house.

You only had a moment to be scared before Ethan appeared around the corner, your favorite grin adorning his face.

“Boo.”

You dropped the bag, running the few steps it took to get to him before you threw your arms around him, breathing him in as he hugged you to him tightly. 

“You guys weren’t supposed to be home until tomorrow!”

“Caught an early flight so I could surprise my girl. Gray and Ster are still in Arizona.” He leaned back so you could look at him, shrugging as if it was no big deal that he’d cut his trip short just to come home to see you.

“Didn’t you have stuff you needed to do?” 

“No, we knocked it out today.”

“Then why didn’t Grayson come ba-”

His lips were on yours then, catching your words as he kissed you hard, a hand coming up to your cheek, thumb running over your cheekbone. “Are you gonna keep asking me questions, or are you gonna let me actually surprise you.”

“There’s more?” The butterflies that only he could bring fluttered in your stomach, and you bit your lip, looking up at him. He leaned down past you, reaching for the bag you’d dropped, placing it back in your hands.

“Maybe. Go put on one of your new dresses, then come out back.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he let go. “Hurry.”

“Okay!” You were practically giddy as you hurried back to Ethan’s room, laying the dresses out on the comforter and trying to decide on one. It took a few minutes, a few switches of holding them up to you in the mirror before you settled on the blue sundress, situating the big sewed bow in the middle of your back. It had a built in bra that was surprisingly comfortable, making it the easiest choice.

Shoving your dresses back in the bag, you didn’t even bother with shoes. You just headed straight for the backyard - but you froze in the living room, taking in the sight through the doors.

The sun was setting on the horizon, painting the sky a baby purple, the clouds a pop of pink as they floated, scattered around. The city was starting to light up below you, and the moon hung high above it. But your eyes were on something - someone - entirely different. 

Ethan was standing in the grass, wearing one of his nice pairs of shorts and a short sleeve patterned button down - you hadn’t even noticed his outfit earlier, you’d been too excited to see him. He was holding a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands, the petals bright yellow even in the dim light.  

He caught sight of you through the glass and immediately hid the flowers behind his back as he stood up straight and smiled like a guy coming to the front door to pick you up for prom.

You pulled the door open, stepping out into the cool California air. It felt almost cold against your flushed cheeks as Ethan looked you up and down, letting out a low whistle.

You just laughed, stopping a few steps in front of him and waiting for whatever he had planned. 

He whipped the flowers around with a grin, holding them out for you with one hand, leaving his other arm tucked behind him. “Happy concert night!”

What you didn’t see was the remote in his other hand. He clicked it with his thumb, and the whole back yard lit up. There were twinkling christmas lights lining the roof and wrapping around the tree to the side of the house. He’d brought out Grayson’s projector and pointed it at a white sheet he’d hung up - you watched it for a moment, laughing when you realized it was projecting a slideshow of the pictures you two had taken together over the last year. And finally, you noticed the speakers had turned on, starting to play one of your favorite songs. Sweet Creature.

“E-”

“I know it got rescheduled, and we’ll have so much fun when we go. But, I still wanted to make tonight special. So, it’s kinda just date night, but... Harry Styles edition?” 

Closing the gap with a few steps you threw your arms around his neck, flowers and all, so you could kiss him. 

“I love you so much,” were the only words you could find, and you hoped he knew how much you truly meant them.

“Love me enough to dance with me?” 

You froze at that - you weren’t much of a slow dancer, and Ethan had even less experience than you did. But the thought of staying so close to him made your heart flutter, so you nodded, letting go for a moment so you could sit the flowers down safely in the grass.

He pulled you back into his arms, hands settling on your waist as yours went around his neck. His fingertips ghosted over the bare skin on your back below the bow, sending shivers up your spine. 

It didn’t matter that Sweet Creature was a tiny bit fast for a slow dance - the two of you weren’t doing more than swaying back and forth anyways, foreheads touching, totally lost in each other. 

He spun you a few times, even throwing in a little dip that made you both laugh before he kissed you, leaving you a bit breathless when he pulled you back up to standing. 

“You bring me home,” he sang, slightly off pitch and so quiet you could barely hear, but it was so sweet that it even brought a few tears to your eyes. You blinked them away so you could see his face as you both smiled. 

The energy picked up a bit as the songs continued to shuffle, Carolina coming on next. You both jumped around hand in hand, looking like total idiots you were sure, stomachs sore from laughing at and with each other by the end. You paused a few times throughout the next songs to watch the slideshow, laughing at some of the pictures he’d chosen, remembering the stories behind them.  

When Sunflower came on, Ethan opened his arms again for a dance and you quirked an eyebrow.

“You know, Mr. Styles doesn’t have as many romantic songs as I thought he did. This one’s not bad though,” Ethan mumbled as the two of you swayed back and forth quickly, spinning around and around.

“This song isn’t even romantic, it’s about him missing his ex,” you explained.

“You analyzed those lyrics hard huh.”

“Oh don’t act like you haven’t dissected every Cudi song five times over.” You squinted your eyes at him in accusation and he just laughed.

“Touché, touché. Maybe the sunflowers weren’t the best Harry related gesture then huh.”

“I still think they’re beautiful,” you reassured him. 

“Thought it would kinda be weird to give you a watermelon. Though, I guess that would have sent a much clearer message.” 

The mischief in his eyes told you he knew exactly what that song was about.

“A little on the nose, don’t yah think?” You scrunched up your nose at him as if to prove your point. He reached out for your hand and you laced your fingers with his.

“Never.” 

And then he was walking, half pulling half guiding you back into the house, through the glass doors, down the hallway, into the bedroom. Your skin was hot, partially from the change in temperature, partially from the hands that were wandering over your skin as soon as the door was closed.

Ethan’s hands traced down your arms, fingertips over skin, then over fabric when he got to your waist, further down to your thighs and then you were gasping as he found his way under your skirt. His hands spread out, large and commanding over your ass, resting there for a moment, squeezing before he moved north, fingers hooking into your panties, guiding them down until they fell off and you could step out of them. 

Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt, blindly undoing them as he kissed you. You found yourself pausing, hands tracing over the new yet familiar skin that revealed itself with each one you managed to loosen until finally, finally it was open and you could push it off his shoulders. 

His hand found the bow, roughly starting to tug until you reached back and caught him.

“Baby don’t pull. It’s sewed, it doesn’t come undone,” you cautioned, barely pulling back, unwilling to put any space between the two of you. 

“Stupid,” he grumbled, pouting a bit until he realized that he could pull the fabric off your shoulders, freeing your chest. He hummed a bit in satisfaction, hands moving to squeeze your tits, and then he was kissing them, sinking lower, lower until his knees hit the floor.

“Oh fuck,” you squeaked, knowing exactly what was about to happen. 

Ethan looked up at you from his knees with a teasing grin and a quirked eyebrow, waiting for your permission. You nodded, trying to breathe as his hands ghosted up your thighs, up to your hips. 

And then he ducked his head so he could get under the fabric of your skirt, ready to get to work.

Your knees buckled as soon as you felt him, tongue warm and flat against you. One of his hands came down, tracing over your skin until he got to your calf, lifting it just barely and pushing it out to widen your stance.

You whimpered as he sped up, his satisfied hums adding to the sensation in a way that had your legs starting to shake already. Your hands dropped to his head, and you pushed the fabric off the top of it so you could get to his hair, tugging. It just made him go harder, burying himself deeper. You folded forward, bracing on his shoulders, overwhelmed as you alternated holding you breathe and gasping for air, squirming.

“E, Ethan stop, my legs are gonna give out, wait,” you gasped, pulling on his hair. 

He paused, ducking out from under your dress and smiling up at you, lips swollen and pride booming.

“That’s the best compliment you’ve ever given me I think. But I’m not done yet, lay down.” 

You did as he said, turning around and climbing onto the middle of the bed before collapsing onto your back, rolling over and looking for him. Ethan was one second behind you, crawling above you to hover over you then duck down to kiss you hard yet somehow sweet at the same time.

It was instinct to reach down to his waist, let your fingers ghost over his waistband, tuck underneath it in a blind search. He sucked in a breath through his teeth when you wrapped your fingers around the tip. He shook his head at you, making you pout.

“Tonights about you, not me.”

“But I want to.”

“Raincheck. Best fucking raincheck ever, but raincheck. Just lemme take care of you.” 

He kisses you until you forget your argument - you’re putty in his hands as his lips trail back down. He pushes all the fabric of your dress together so it’s just a band around your tummy and then he picked up where he left off.

“Fuck E, just like that, oh god.” You were squirming again in a matter of moments, his stubble rough against your thighs as he worked you over. He felt your body tense up under his hold, smiling as he gave it all he had, giving that extra little push that sent you tumbling, clenching, writhing over the edge. 

He peppered kisses to your thighs as you caught your breath, and then he reached up, fists closing around all the fabric of your dress.

“Lift your hips up,” he instructed, waiting for you to bridge up so he could wiggle the dress off over your hips. He tossed it towards the closet, moving back up towards your face, bed dipping down with his weight.

“No fair,” you pouted, reaching down to tug at his shorts and boxers. 

“And I’m the impatient one.” 

He stood back up off the bed, quickly shoving down the clothing he had left and stepping out of it. 

“Much better.” You grinned wide when you saw he was blushing at your words. “C’mere.” 

He happily listened, crawling back above you and dropping a bit of his weight down as he sunk to his forearms. 

“So missionary is the way to your heart huh? So vanilla.” He bumped his nose against yours.

“You have a pretty face, sue me,” you laughed, bringing your hands up to his neck and pulling him down for a kiss as he dropped his hips, searching for just a moment before he pushed inside. 

You’d lost count of how many times the two of you had been just like this, intertwined and enthralled with each other, but you knew you’d never get tired of it as long as you lived.

“I love you.” It came out as a breath when he bottomed out, his lips resting on your shoulder, back curled up at an angle that let you feel every muscle, every ridge of his body. 

“I love you. You’re my dream, you know that?” He started to rock his hips, unwilling to go too far from you as you clung to his back, relishing in the feeling of him on you, in you, all around you. 

This would always be your favorite way to be with him - sweet and soft, just your bodies together, nothing else. You couldn’t think of anything better.

He shifted just barely, thrusting in at a different angle. You knew he was searching, and you gasped when he brushed against your g spot, your whole body shuddering.

“There she is,” he whispered, a prideful grin on his face as he hit it over and over. Watching you come undone below him would always be one of his favorite views. “Look at me baby, I wanna see you.” 

You did your best in your blissed out state to listen to him, turning your head from where it had fallen against the pillow to look at him while he picked up pace. Your legs curled around his back, holding him to you, urging him as deep as he could go as you chased the orgasm that was building in your gut.

He stared at you for a few moments, and then as if he couldn’t help it he ducked down to kiss you, open mouthed and rough as he pulled his hips back, thrusting forward with more force than he’d used yet. 

“Oh fuck Ethan, fuck,” you moaned, holding onto him for dear life. When he snaked one hand between the two of you to find your clit, you were done for. 

His breath caught in his throat as you clenched around him and you heard the whimpers through your cloudy haze, mixtures of pleasure and your name as he came undone, hip stuttering and then stopping when he finally hit his high. 

Once he’s caught his breath he rolls the both of you over so you’re resting on his chest, listening to his heart rate settle back down under your ear. 

“I’m so glad you came home early,” you sighed, hugging his bare torso as he chuckled.

“Me too baby. Me too.”

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Ok so this is gonna look weird since im doing this on my computer and i might have some uppercase sentences but hopefully this works and if it doesnt f also first time submitting and it might not show up as anonymous so f to me again help m e anyway if this doesnt work then i'll just continue to send in works through asks bc i cant figure shit out lmao.

-Knull anon

~~~~

You stopped for a moment before saying, “damian, you’re supposed to be with batman trying to fight the other batman, why are you here?” Damian seemed to freeze up, but before he could explain anything, you pressed on. “And what happened to your costume? I don't think he would let you get a new one.”

The 4 strange batkids who seemed to appear out of nowhere stood there not knowing what to do, and as you sat there wondering why they seemed like they were… before the joker gas, you also had to wonder why they were there. Who were they? Where were they from? The other batkids got killed when… “batman” killed them.

One of the kids you recognized was Cassandra, if you remember correctly. It was strange seeing her so.. Well, alive. You never met the actual batkids before, since the batman who laughs only found you after a reign of chaos, but you had heard about them, and in some files you found when you had a bit more freedom, they spoke of who they were and what they could do. Of course you had to put them back when your “dad” came back around, but you were still able to read some of them. 

The others you couldn’t remember as well, since you were only able to read up on 2 or 3 batkids. However, you weren’t able to think about that when one of them, who looked a little tiny and had a staff said “we need to find somewhere to hide, those robins are coming back down.”

Oh fuck, I forgot, I asked them to bring some food down! Well, now I feel bad about being hungry…

You were about to let them hide in your room, but then you saw the blasted door and thought, yeah, that's not gonna work. You looked around and remembered that stupid hiding place you found a couple of weeks ago while playing the robins version of hide and seek. It was such a good hiding spot that your “dad” actually had to come and drag you out.

Yeah, it wasn't a fun time.

But at least now you have a hiding spot. You motioned for them to follow you down the large hallway, and then opened up two double doors. Inside was a room of sculptures from all over the place. You walked them over to a sculpture of a man who appeared to be crying while sitting on a bench, and let them behind it. There was a small gap that you squeezed through and pressed 6 tiles in a pattern, before it revealed a sort of bunker like room. You led them inside and right as you were able to hear the screeching of the robins, you closed the door.

*

You sat there for about 10 minutes before you heard things quieting down. For the most part you heard the robins stomping around, trying to find you. You were honestly surprised to see that they didn’t just look where you were last time. A question pulled you from listening to the thumps.

“Why did you recognize Damian's voice?” you turned around and saw the same boy who had alerted you of the robins approaching had asked you. You turned to him fully before explaining, “this… earths, I guess you could call it, batman did have a damian wayne, but when he… ya know, became evil, he turned damian into one of them. He really doesn’t speak unless spoken to, which is also really rare. I was just surprised to see you since I thought you were supposed to be with him while they fight that one earths batman.”

Damian gave you a weird look and said, “I'm not the Damian from this earth, as you call it.”

You stared at him for a moment before going back to your mind. Not from my earth? What does he mean by that? Besides, what's with all the other batkids being alive? And even if they are here, and from a different earth, what would they be looking for? Was it money? No, batkids from all over never really want money, they want to follow, well, batman. So that means their batman must’ve sent them here. But why?

You turned back to the batkid with a staff and asked, “I'm sorry, I've never heard of you, what's your name?”

You saw Cassandra hold her hand to her mouth while Damian seemed to smile. Probably just your imagination, though. “Red Robin.” he said, as he looked down, seemingly a little embarrassed.

You tried to remember who had that name, but nothing came up, until….

“Oh, I remember now! You're the one that likes coffee, right?” he scratched the back of his neck, before nodding.

Cassandra was the next to ask questions. “Why don't you know the robins from this earth?” you leaned back into the wall behind you and said, “easy, I wasn’t there when you all died.” the mood immediately died after you said that, and it became extremely awkward. 

Damian asked, “why are you even here?” “I'm supposed to know? I don't even know why he didn’t kill me to be honest with you.” 

Damian asked, “why are you even here?” “I'm supposed to know? I don't even know why he didn’t kill me to be honest with you.” 

Damian was about to ask something else when his comm beeped for a moment. He answered it, before you heard someone say, “damian, you better have found the damn thing, because we're being overrun!” 

From the other line, you were able to hear the screeches of robins from all over, and the grunts of whoever was speaking. “Ugh- just get the thing, and head out! We've got them distracted!”

Damian immediately got up and grabbed your upper arm, before opening the door. “We're leaving, we don't have much time.” without another word, you followed them out of the strange bunker and back into the hallway.

*

Sneaking past the robins was easy. Sneaking past the guards was… not so easy. You were wondering how they even got in when, instead of heading towards the entrance to the fortress, they turned a random corner and dragged you down somewhere else. 

“Hey, not to sound rude, but the exits that way,” you pointed back to the two large doors that were heavily guarded, “why are we going this way.”

Cassandra turned back to face you. “We didn’t enter that way.” you were about to ask a question when you entered a tiled hallway. They brought you to one specific area and you could only assume that it was the same puzzle as the bunker, enter the right code and you would get into a secret tunnel.

Damian seemed to try and remember what the puzzle was, before he entered an unknown combination and the doors opened. He smirked before coming to the person who had distracted the robins.

“Nightwing, we’ve got the obj-” he looked at you before realizing that might’ve been rude. “... the… person, we’ve got the person.”

“It’s a what now?!” “Just get back to the ship and we’ll be off!”

He dragged you into the tunnel that seemed to be extremely long, and you continued like that in the dark, sprinting through the dark tunnel while you heard random noises everywhere else. Finally, you almost ran into the end of the tunnel, and when it was opened it was almost like a breath of fresh air. Well, it was a breath of fresh air, but this is the first time you’ve really been able to see the planet. Even in the dark, you were able to tell that it was a beautiful jungle. 

Being shoved into a nearby bush startled you but when you went to ask why red robin had pushed you, he held a finger to his lips, and pointed out of the bush.

There were two large guards with their weapons walking over to the door, and looking around. You saw the batkids make hand signals out of the corner of your eyes, but before you would even say anything, a large explosion from the other side of the fortress brought your attention.

Without a second glance the two guards ran around the building before disappearing to a corner of the wall. Waiting a few seconds to see if anyone was there, before red robin helped you up and the 5 of you started running to who knows where. It felt like a couple minutes before you suddenly stopped and went on a little wrist tablet and started typing. 

This resulted in a jet appearing from nowhere, before you realized that it was a wonder woman's invisible jet. “Did you guys recreate it or something?”

Cassandra gave you a weird look before you doubled back, and said, “Oh I forgot, this is from your earth.”

Walking around in grass and leaves felt surreal to you, but now you finally have a chance of leaving. Running up the ramp, you almost cried in relief when you realized that no this wasn’t you mind playing tricks on you. But that would have to come later, since you still had to leave the planet.

And as you took off, watching the fires swallow up the nearby trees, and the robins desperately try to find you, you really wanted to start laughing from joy.

~~~~

God this shit was so hard to write bc i was trying to figure out how to submit things and then like ya know this happened. Anyway if my name shows up when i submit this u can just copy paste this or just screenshot it idc whichever is fine with you. Anyway cheers love, god help me bc i want to sleep.

-Knull anon

[fanficimagery]

Cheap Thrills

Summary: Imagine receiving drunk text messages from a random number. Even when you make it known you're not who the person is looking for, the texts keep coming. And it's not until you make a post about the texts, complete with screenshots, do you find out who it is.

Words: 3.9K Warnings: None that I can think of.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: u awake? [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: miss u [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: can i come over? [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: hello?

You read the texts, snorting at the poor unfortunate individual who typed in the wrong number. Thumbs tapping out a message of your own, you send it before getting back to your movie.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: i'm sure whoever you're trying to reach misses you too? But sorry to say you have the wrong number.

The random number doesn't text you back so you continue on with your night as if nothing had happened. But the next morning, when you wake up, you find yet another text message from the random number.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: i am so sorry about those texts. I was drunk.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: lol it's alright. You're forgiven.

You've had random numbers text you from time to time, but never a number that texts you in a drunken stupor yet again even after you've told them they had the wrong number. So the following night, you're surprised to see the stranger's number pop up again.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: what r u doin?

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: umm…

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: r u a chick or a dude lol..

You snort. Of course. It's definitely a guy texting because had it been a drunk female there's no way she'd care to find out the gender. She'd most likely just text to her heart's content before passing out without a care in the world whether it was a guy or girl listening to her rant.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: chick.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: yess! Boyfriend?

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: jesus. You're really in top form tonight, aren't you?

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: baby i'm in top form every night ;)

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: and on that note, I'm out. Don't forget to chug some water before bed, Stranger Danger.

The texts continue the following weekend, the drunken stranger flirting to his heart's content. He's funny, is definitely down to cuddle, and really wants to spend the night though he has no clue who you are. You had asked for a name, but never got an answer. You weren't too alarmed about not knowing it since he was never really serious about coming over (at least you hoped not), but your curiosity ended up getting the better of you.

So after screenshotting a couple pages, you post them to Twitter after blacking out every number but the last four with the caption: Get you a stranger who'll drunk text you even after explaining you're not who he's looking for..

You weren't really expecting the screenshots to blow up the way they did, nor for anyone to actually know your drunken stranger, but sure enough a week later you're receiving private messages from none other than David Dobrik himself.

Planning to meet David Dobrik leaves you feeling a bit anxious, but you calm when he tells you his assistant Natalie will be joining him. So after hastily making some plans, you agree on meeting in a public park where there will be others around to make you feel a bit more comfortable.

You choose a pretty shaded spot beneath a tree in clear view of everyone milling about the park, and plop down with an assortment of snacks as you wait for David and Natalie to show up. Fortunately for you, you don't have to wait long. Natalie video calls you to find exactly where you're at and when she does it's not long before you're meeting them face to face.

David's already giggling and recording when he steps up to you, and you can't help but smile in return as you stand to greet them. "Hey. So, uh, it's cool to meet you guys." You briefly hug each of them before gesturing for them to sit with you.

"Likewise," David says. He and Natalie sit, and you offer them some of your snacks which Natalie readily digs in to. "So not to be rude and rush you, but can I please see the texts?"

You chuckle. "Yeah." Bringing forth your phone, you pull up the numerous texts from the number David claims to know. As you pass him your phone, you ask, "So you gonna tell me who Stranger Danger finally is?"

Natalie's eyes widen before she swats at David's arm. "You haven't told her?!"

"Ow! What?"

"David," she sighs.

You watch them, grinning. "I mean I kind of understood why David waited, but I'm really curious as to which one of your friends is thirsty as fuck to be texting a stranger."

David laughs as he continues to read. "Did he really say I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

You grimace. "Yeah. Even sent me a dick pic which is why I tell him that I don't wanna see the peen a few texts down."

"Oh my god," Natalie muses. "He didn't."

"He did. Now can I please know whose penis I have seared into my brain?"

Natalie facepalms as David says, "Toddy."

"Toddy?" You brow furrows as you try to recall which one Toddy is. It isn't until Natalie shows you a picture of Toddy on her own phone do your eyes widen. "Oh. Oh wow."

David snorts and Natalie winks as she puts her phone away. "So you never once asked what he looked like?" She then asks as David screenshots everything he can before airdropping the pictures to his own phone.

"I mean I didn't really care about what he looked like," you shrug. "I found amusement in the texts and it surprised me that he continued to text every time he got drunk. I asked for a name eventually, but he never gave one."

"So he doesn't know your name or what you look like?" David asks, finally looking up at you.

"Nope."

He slowly smiles and Natalie groans. "I know that look. I hate that look. What are you thinking?"

David giggles. "I'm thinking of surprising Todd." You must make a face because David's quick to finish explaining. "It'll just be us and Todd. We can all hang out at my place and if the others show up, they show up. It'll be fine."

"I- I mean.." You trail off, glancing at Natalie. "What do you think? You've got a clearer head on your shoulders."

"Hey!"

Natalie huffs a small laugh. "It could be fun," she then says with a small shrug. "Todd will definitely find it funny, especially since you exposed him on Twitter. He'll also be happy that you're cute."

You blush as they stare at you, anxiously awaiting your answer. And after taking a moment to think about it, you sigh. "What the hell. Let's do it."

David cheers and they waste no time in helping you gather your trash. David offers for Natalie to drive his car while he drives with you, and she agrees. Then on the way to his house, David records some more to get more of your story for his vlog.

He finds out you're single to which he ooh's at and casually mentions that Todd is single as well, and is quite fascinated to learn that you think his friend is hot. You laugh and end up blushing, so to make you feel a little better he mentions that you're his friend's type as well. But all too soon you're pulling up to David's house where he's instructing you to park behind the safety of his gate.

You've seen his house in several of his videos, but it still leaves you awestruck as they lead you inside. All shoes are left by the front door and you can't help but stare at the ridiculously large bean bag chair when you enter the living room.

"Dibs."

"On?" David asks, he and Natalie immediately plopping down on the couch and stretching out on opposite ends.

"The bean bag." You cautiously take a seat and let yourself sink into it, smiling at David's giggling. Once you're completely laid back and curled up, you sigh in contentment. "I definitely need to invest in one of these."

"It really is comfortable." David taps away on his phone, humming. "So Todd should be here in a couple of hours. Does anyone want to order food while we wait?"

"Food. Yes!" Natalie groans.

"Does anyone deliver a good burger? I am so down for a burger and fries," you grumble.

David turns on his TV while Natalie orders the food. Bohemian Rhapsody is on and you urgently plead for David to leave it on that. He does and you have no shame in singing along or clapping to the Queen songs. The We Will Rock You scene leads you to performing your own rendition of the song, and both David and Natalie crack up when you sing the entire song from heart.

The food eventually gets there and you all take a seat at the kitchen counters. However, not even halfway through with your food, Todd texts David that he's outside.

"Oh shit, Y/N. Hide!" David tells you.

You nearly fall off your stool to which Natalie nearly chokes on her food laughing at, but she's quick to help you into the guest bathroom that's just around the corner. She leaves you alone and rejoins David, and it's not long before a third voice enters the mix.

          ----------

Todd walks into the kitchen, yawning and ruffling his hair. He nods at Natalie as she washes a few dishes to place in the dishwasher, and then takes a seat next to David who has his camera set up across from him.

"So what's going on?" He asks, stealing a french fry from the tray in front of him.

"I called you over here because I want to hear your side of the story," David informs him, slowly grinning.

Todd freezes, nervously chuckling as Natalie smirks at him. "About?"

"About this." David pulls up tweet that went viral, showing Toddy the screenshots of his text messages.

"She didn't," Todd exclaims, laughing. "Fuck. She did!"

"You've been exposed," Natalie muses. "How does it feel?"

"How did you even find these? Or even connect them back to me," Todd then wonders. "Wait does she have a pic?"

"No," David laughs, taking back his phone. "And I know it's you because the last four digits are the exact same as yours, and when I DM'd her I confirmed that the number she had was the same one I had for you. It was a long shot really, but I'm glad I took that leap of faith."

"You talked to her?!"

"Yeah. She's really cool. I think you'd like her."

"Really?"

"Really," Natalie agrees. "And if you keep eating her food, she's going to murder you."

          ----------

"And if you keep eating her food, she’s going to murder you."

"My food?" You mumble. But then Natalie's words click and your eyes widen. You can hear Todd beginning to ask something, but you throw open the door and march out towards the kitchen. "Not another bite, Stranger Danger!"

Todd nearly falls off the stool from where he whirls around so fast and you can't help but laugh. He's surprised, but beams a moment later, and you slowly walk towards him.

"You're the- you're her?"

"Yep." You stop a few feet in front of him. "And you're him- the drunk texter."

"Holy shit." He laughs, shaking his head at David whose recording it all, and then asks you, "Can I hug you? Is that weird?"

"You've sent me a dick pic, man. There's no getting more weird than that."

The tips of Todd's ears burn red as he moves in for a hug and you embrace him briefly. When he lets go, however, he keeps one arm around your shoulders as he faces David's camera once more. "So how much of my texts have you actually seen?"

"Everything but the picture," David giggles. "Y/N deleted it."

"Y/N?" Todd then glances down at you.

"Yep. And you're Todd. It's nice to officially meet you."

"Aw. Aren't you two adorable," David teases. "Now come on. Let's move this to the living room. It's getting weird just standing around."

"Wait. Hold on." You scurry forward and grab up your half eaten burger, taking one last big bite from it before heading towards the living room.

Todd watches you go, gaze adoringly watching your every step. "Marry me."

With bulging cheeks, you wink and continue on.

David and Natalie retake their spots on the couch, and the bean bag is so large that Todd throws himself next to you after you've settled down. The problem with the bean bag, however, is that you end up sliding towards Todd since he's heavier. He winks when you bump into him and you huff a laugh, but you get settled either way and pull out your phone to give you something to do.

Todd, you find out, is an Instagram hoe and you find yourself taking numerous selfies with him- some with filters and some without. You're even in his Instastories, laughing and trying to cover your face, but it's no use. He gives no explanation as to who you are, only that you're a friend. He even posts quick little videos of David and Natalie, and you arguing with David over which movie to watch.

You have no idea how long you've been with the group, only that it feels like you've known these people for a long time, so it's no big surprise that other friends of theirs show up to hang out.

Erin and Carly show up together, followed by Zane and Matt.

"Wait. So let me get this straight," Erin exclaims. "You," she points at Todd, "have been texting her," she then points at you, "for weeks? And you had no clue what the other looked like or names and this is your first time meeting?"

From your position- Todd stretched out one way and you the other with your legs draped over his- you grin. "Yep."

"Todd!" Carly laughs. "What even- how?"

"I thought I was texting Corinna!" He defends himself, chuckling. "I deleted Corinna's number, and she and Y/N have similar numbers. Totally accidental."

Everyone glances at you and you roll your eyes. "Chill. I knew his texts were intended for the ex. I even encouraged him to text her, but his drunken self found more amusement with a stranger."

Natalie snorts. "I'll say. He asked for nudes pretty frequently."

"Todd!" Matt cackles at the same time Zane muses, "Baby, no."

"Don't worry, I never sent them. I got more respect for myself than that," you say. "Todd, on the other hand, has no shame."

"You didn't," Erin says.

"It was one time!"

"It was still a dick pic." You grin. "And come on, man, who are you trying to kid? Your texts were thirsty as fuck at times."

"I have got to see these texts," Zane says.

Smirking, you pull up the text messages on your phone and move to toss your phone to an eager Zane. But seeing what you're about to do, Todd grips your thigh just enough to make you laugh in surprise. "Y/N, don't."

Zane's still reaching for the phone so Todd rolls over you. You grunt at the added weight, wiggling just enough to roll both you and Todd off the bean bag and onto the floor. You both grunt when you land.

"Oh my god," David laughs. "This is better than two girls fighting in baby oil."

Everyone's laughing now, especially when Todd says, "There's nothing better than two girls fighting in baby oil," as he gets the upper hand and straddles your stomach.

Your phone slips out of your hand, which he's quick to grab up, but with your free hand you're free to pinch Todd's nipple through his shirt. He yelps and you're quick to buck him off, you then rolling the both of you in order to straddle his stomach before reaching towards his outstretched arm for your phone.

Todd goes oddly still before giggling and it's all too easy to reclaim your phone. "You know what, I'm not even mad about this position."

Slightly leaning up to glance between you and Todd, you huff a laugh when you see his face is practically in between your tits. "You're a dick." As you fully sit up, you pinch Todd again to which he giggles at and then toss your phone at Zane. "You have free reign to read every one of Todd's texts now. Enjoy." Zane cheers, Matt, Erin, and Carly quickly crowding him to read them as well.

Todd pokes your waist and you flinch, your waist being very ticklish, and the two of you end up slapping each other's hands as you slide off of him and back onto the beanbag. Todd's beaming smile makes your heart beat a little harder and you're grateful he can't hear it.

"You're kind of strong," Todd says as he ends up settling next to you once more.

"I should hope so. I grew up with two older brothers. You best believe they tried every wrestling move on me until I learned how to get out of it."

"They still tease you?"

"All the time." You slowly smile, chuckling at fond memories. "What about you? Any siblings you fight with?"

"Nah. I'm an only child."

"So you're an only child who still acts like a child, huh?"

"Hey!"

Todd reaches over as if he's going to tickle you and you curl up in order to protect yourself. "No! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

He chuckles softly and reaches for you again, but he only hooks an arm under your neck and pulls you in so you're curled into his side. "How much longer can you stay?"

You hum. "Not much longer," you admit. "I live about an hour away so I should be on the road pretty soon."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Zane, Matt, Carly, and Erin are still hysterical over Todd's drunken texts, David and Natalie are in their own world, as are you and Todd. His calm demeanor puts you at ease and you suddenly find yourself wishing you could stay much longer in his presence.

"Aw. Look at them," David suddenly teases. When you and Todd look at him, David smirks. "You're welcome."

You snort. "Shut up." Todd opens up his phone to momentarily distract himself, but in doing so you see the time. "Shit," you mumble. "It's already that late? I need to go."

Todd's head snaps in your direction. "Aw. No."

"Sorry, but I need to." He frowns and your heart goes out to him for a bit. "Tell you what. Let's go grab some dinner. You take your car and I'll take mine so I can leave afterward."

"Fuck it. Let's do it." You and Todd stand up, and everyone readily stares at you. "Nope," he tells them. "None of you are invited."

As the weeks slowly pass, nothing really changes with the exception that you've made friends with several Youtubers, and Todd's taken to texting you when he's sober as well now- maybe even hanging out when he's not with everyone else. So it's really no surprise when you get a FaceTime call from David as you're scrolling through social media before you put a movie on.

Accepting the call, you squint at the too bright room on David's end. "Do you have to have all those lights on? Jesus." As you move around, you end up laying back on your pillows.

He grins. "It's not even midnight. Why are you in bed already?"

"I'm not in bed-bed." You roll your eyes. "I was just getting ready to watch a movie. It just so happens that it's more enjoyable to watch from the comfort of a bed."

"Yeah? Which movie?"

"Guess."

"Bohemian Rhapsody."

"Goddammit."

David giggles. "You have a serious problem when it comes to that kid from Jurassic Park who's all grown up now."

"Joe Mazzello went from an adorable little nerd to total daddy material. He deserves all my love."

"Jesus Christ." You grin at David's amusement. Eventually though, his laughter tapers off. "Well I'll let you get back to your movie, but I need to record something real quick. You game?"

"If it involves me leaving my bed, then no. Other than that, let's do this."

"No. This is good." David props his phone up so he can hold his camera with both hands and record the call. Then, he says, "So since I posted the video of you and Todd meeting, the viewers have gone crazy."

"Of course they have."

"Inquiring minds need to know," he smirks, "if you're still Todd's booty text or if an honest friendship has blossomed from my intervening?"

You roll your eyes, teeth digging into the bottom corner of your lip as you fight off a blush. "Why does this feel like an episode of Catfish where the host is checking in weeks later to see how I'm doing?"

"Just answer the question, Y/N."

"Fine." You sigh. "Hold on." Getting out of bed, you then make your way downstairs. Heading for the kitchen, you then flip the camera on your phone. "Does this answer your question?"

Upon hearing your voice, Todd turns around from his place at the kitchen island where he was fixing a bowl of popcorn. He smiles. "What are you doing?"

"Oh my god!"

Todd's smile falters but your wink lets him know all is good. Sidling up to his left side, you hip check him as you flip the camera back so it catches both you and Todd. "An honest friendship has blossomed," you say. "I am introducing him to my current favorite movie."

Todd chuckles as he leans closer to the screen, his expression then morphing into one of mock horror. "Help me."

"No way. Natalie owes me twenty bucks! NATALIE!" David then sets his camera aside, picking his phone back up as he starts walking around. "So how long have you guys been hanging out for behind our backs?"

"Since you introduced us face to face," Todd says. "And we weren't exactly going behind your back, we just-"

"We wanted to hang out without anyone making a big deal out of it." You shrug. "But it's been long enough and you're going to make a big deal out of it no matter what, so.."

"So if you don't mind," Todd says as he takes your phone from you, "Y/N and I got a movie to watch."

"Wait! Just answer one question," David says. Todd goes quiet, nodding. "Did you finally get Y/N to cuddle you?"

Todd and David explode with laughter at the same time, and that seems to be all David needs to hear. You take your phone back, shaking your head. "Goodbye, David. We'll text you later if you're still awake." And before he can retort, you end the call before pocketing your phone.

"I guess the cat's out of the bag," Todd muses, shrugging sheepishly.

"Well not the whole cat." You slowly smile, leaning up on the tips of your toes and pressing your lips to Todd's. "And it's going to stay that way just a little bit longer. Your fans are crazy."

"Whatever you say, babe. Now can we please go watch that movie of yours? You got me all hyped up after those Queen songs you played all afternoon long."

"Sure thing." Todd grabs the bowl of popcorn and you grab some drinks from the refrigerator. As he follows you back up the stairs, you say, "Now don't get all huffy when I eventually swoon. I adore you, but I adore Joe and Gwilym just a little bit more."

"You're a terrible girlfriend."

"And I'm afraid I don't get much better." You huff a laugh. "You signed up for this, babe. Get used to it."

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[calumcest]

i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)

me writing 5.6k in 4 hours and pretending my essays/presentation/exams/dissertation don’t exist? it’s more likely than you think

thank u jex for listening to me scream abt this for the past 4 hours and for always being the sweetest and most encouraging person in the world you are truly such a positive influence in my life 

also this is based off a prompt i got i think in 2014 never say i don’t provide! i would link the post but honestly it’s just got my 16 year old self’s embarrassing screams on it so frankly i would rather not so instead i will provide you with a screenshot of the ask under the cut 

[ao3]

-

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.

“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

-

Michael Clifford loves his job. 

Sure, the staff room politics can get a bit exhausting (although Michael would be lying if he didn’t admit to loving all the drama he wasn’t personally involved in), and the kids can drive him up the fucking wall, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than teaching. 

Except today. Today, when a good portion of 10C has somehow exploded into an argument over whether or not Julia snatched a guitar when Sam was about to take it, he thinks he’d rather be a human guinea pig for infectious diseases, or something. It probably pays better, anyway.

“Sam,” he says sternly, and he turns to look at Michael, anger written all over his face. “There are plenty of guitars in the cupboard. Let Julia have that one.”

“But sir, that’s the only one which-” 

“I don’t care,” Michael says, holding up a hand, because he’s perfectly aware that it’s the only guitar which stays in tune longer than thirty seconds. He’s been begging for a budget increase since the day he joined the school. “It’s one lesson, it’s not an exam, you can deal with it for forty-five minutes.” 

“But Mr Clifford-” Lucy pipes up, ready to defend Sam. 

“No, Lucy,” he says firmly. “I want all of you in the practice rooms, now.” Sam glares at him furiously and stomps off without an instrument in his hands, Lucy and Pip running behind him to one of the practice rooms outside the main classroom. Michael decides he’s got enough on his plate without inserting himself into hormonally-charged teenage drama, so he lets them go, rounding on Noel and Olivia, who are still arguing with Julia, Brandon hovering awkwardly nearby. 

“I don’t want to hear anything else about this,” Michael cuts in, and Noel and Olivia round on Michael instead. 

“Sir, she stole it from-”

“He was about to pick it u-”

“I don’t want to spend my lunchtime in detention, and unless you two do I suggest you get your instruments and go to your practice rooms,” Michael says curtly, trying to refrain from pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He’s getting a stress-induced headache already, and it’s the first lesson of the day. 

“Fine,” Olivia spits, full of the kind of melodrama only a fifteen-year-old can summon, and Michael tries not to roll his eyes as they stalk off to one of the practice rooms at the back of the classroom without so much as another glance in his direction. He’s pretty sure he hears one of them mutter fuck you under their breath as they walk away, and he feels momentarily bad before he remembers they’ll have forgotten about it by their next lesson. 

“Don’t do it again,” is all he says tiredly to Julia, who nods meekly, and scampers off to join her group in one of the other practice rooms at the back of the classroom. That being sorted, Michael turns back to the rest of the class, to find about eight of the girls gathered at the window, chattering excitedly. 

“That doesn’t look like composing a short piece on three instruments to me,” he says, wandering over, and a bunch of the girls look back at him with a look of excitement on their faces. 

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window and leaving a mark. Michael peers over their heads to see a distant figure standing on the field with a class that looks like it might be 7A. All he can make out is that it’s a guy, with what looks like a mess of dark brown hair and a couple of tattoos on his (very muscular, Michael notes with approval) arms that he’s waving around, clearly explaining something. 

Michael vaguely remembers Paula, the headmistress, saying something about a new PE teacher starting this week, but he’d been too busy whisper-explaining to Luke why Magic: The Gathering was a great game and he should definitely play it with Michael to remember what she’d said the guy was called. 

“The new PE teacher,” he says, hoping they won’t ask what he’s called.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is. 

Huh, he thinks, pushing himself away from the window and heading to the first practice room to make sure Noel, Olivia and Brandon have calmed down a bit. Sarah’s kind of right. 

 ------- 

 Michael has a free period fourth period, and even if he usually wouldn’t be seen dead on the field, it’s a beautiful day, and it is on the route to the staff room. Well, it’s on a route to the staff room, at least, and if that route happens to be five minutes longer than simply walking through the building and over the quad, then Michael doesn’t need to know about it. He could do with the exercise, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with the new PE teacher. 

When Michael gets down to the field, the PE teacher’s gathering up the footballs from the previous lesson and stuffing them in the big netted bag that’s been threatening to break for about five years. He turns around after picking up the last one and spots Michael (who is definitely not staring) cutting across the top part of the field. He raises a hand, and Michael’s not really sure if he’s waving or telling him to get the fuck off the field, but then he’s gathering the bag in one hand and jogging over, and Michael’s absolutely not watching the lines of his muscles as he makes his way over. 

“Hi!” the guy says, grinning widely, and fucking hell, he’s even hotter up close. He’s got dark brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the brilliant smile currently gracing his full lips, and his dark hair is curled, falling into his face slightly. “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. I’m new.” 

“I’m Michael Clifford,” Michael says. “I’m not.” He curses inwardly as soon as the words have left his lips - he should be legally restricted from talking to hot guys, honestly - but Calum laughs, laughs, and it’s not fake, if the twinkle in his eyes is anything to go by. 

“I gathered,” he says. “So, what do you teach?” 

“Music,” Michael says. “You’re PE?” Calum nods. 

“Music’s my second, though,” he says. 

“Oh?” Michael wants to die. Of course hot PE guy can teach Music, of all things. He was literally crafted by God to upset Michael. 

“Yeah,” Calum says, with a smile. “I mean, I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good as you, but I play guitar, and a little piano. Bass is my real love, though.” 

“Bass?” Michael says, trying his best not to imagine Calum’s long fingers flying across a fretboard. 

“Yeah,” Calum says. “I played in a band, for a bit, but, y’know.” He gestures at himself. “Clearly didn’t work out.” 

“That’s pretty fucking cool, though,” Michael says, genuinely impressed. “And hey, bassist to secondary school PE teacher is an upgrade.” Calum laughs. 

“Fuck you, man,” he says, but he’s grinning, and Michael feels a warmth spreading from his toes to his cheeks. “Hey, are you heading to the staff room?” Michael nods. “Mind if I tag along? I’m still finding my way around.” 

“Sure,” Michael says, shrugging and hoping it conceals the fact that he kind of wants to turn back to the safety of his music room and bang his head on the wall until he forgets someone as perfect as Calum Hood exists on the same planet as him. 

“Sweet,” Calum says, beaming at him as he holds up the bag of footballs. “Let me just lock these in the shed and I’ll be right with you.” 

Yeah, sweet, Michael thinks, as Calum turns on his heel and jogs away from Michael over to the tiny shed in the corner of the field which houses all the outdoor equipment. Not like Michael’s already head over heels in love, or anything. 

Sweet. 

 ------- 

 Calum’s officially introduced in the staff room at lunchtime on his first day, but Michael has lunch duty on a Monday so he misses it. Luke and Ashton tell him Calum’s a big hit in the staff room, “really charming, and have you seen his arms?”, which just puts Michael in a bad mood, because he now has competition. 

It’s three days before Michael bumps into Calum again, in his free second period, which he’s spending catching up on all the marking that was due, like, two weeks ago and is still unfinished. 

“Hey, Michael!” Calum says cheerfully, sitting down opposite Michael at the desk that he’s entirely covered with a careful class-organised system of marking. “Oh, shit, are you busy?” 

“No,” Michael says immediately, because what’s his job compared to conversation with the hottest guy in Australia? “What’s up?” Calum shrugs. 

“Just wanted a chat,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. You been hiding from me?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it, and it makes Michael’s stomach flip, because it’s pretty friendly for a guy he’s met once. If Michael were anyone else, he would say Calum might almost be flirting. Maybe Calum’s just like that, though. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. 

“Been catching up on marking,” Michael says, indicating all the papers on the desk. “I’m literally going to stop setting homework, I swear to God.” 

“Can’t say I relate,” Calum says, with a grin. “Perks of being a PE teacher.” 

“Yeah, but you have to deal with, like, concussions, and shit,” Michael says, capping his pen. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that,” Calum says breezily, and Michael snorts. 

“Typical PE teacher,” he says. “I could have had my leg cut off and my PE teacher would have made me keep running.” Calum smirks. 

“Well, you have another leg, don’t you?” he says, and laughs when Michael scowls. “I’m kidding. I’d let you do push ups instead.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning. 

“How generous,” he says. Calum grins back at him, and Michael’s heart does a fucking backwards somersault, or something ridiculous. 

“That’s what you get for saying PE teacher is an upgrade from bassist,” he says. 

“Hey, that’s just the natural order of things,” Michael says. “It’s not my fault bass is at the bottom of the musical food chain.” 

“What’s music without the rhythm section?” Calum says, stretching, and Michael tries his best not to stare at the sliver of skin that’s exposed under his shirt. 

“Acoustic?” Michael offers, and Calum huffs out a laugh, bringing his arms (and shirt, Michael thinks wistfully) back down. 

“Fuck,” he says agreeably. “Guess my band could have carried on without me.” 

“What kind of music did you play?” Michael asks. Calum shrugs. 

“A bit of everything,” he says. “We started on All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, that kind of a thing, got more Radiohead and Tame Impala vibes as we went on.” Jesus Christ. Michael has literally died and gone to heaven, because there is absolutely no way a man this perfect exists anywhere other than in Michael’s imagination. 

“Mate, I fucking love All Time Low,” Michael says, and a smile unfurls on Calum’s lips. 

“Have you heard their new album?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says. “Fuck, Monsters? What a fucking tune.”

“Right?” Calum says enthusiastically. “And Basement Noise?” 

“Fucking sick,” Michael agrees. 

“You’ve got good taste,” Calum says approvingly. Michael opens his mouth to say something - you’re just saying that to get in my pants is on the tip of his tongue - but he’s interrupted (or possibly saved from eternal embarrassment) by Ashton sitting down heavily next to him. 

“Hey, Michael,” he says, throwing a dimpled smile in his direction. “Hey, Calum.”

“Hey, Ashton,” Calum says. “How’s the Year 10 clay project coming along?”

“Oh, you know,” Ashton says, leaning back in his seat and pushing his curls out of his face. “Two busts have been decapitated so far, so we’re doing pretty well, all things considered.” 

“Nice,” Michael says approvingly. 

“I know you’re talking about the decapitations, Mike, you don’t fool me,” Ashton says knowingly. Michael scowls. 

“Was it Sam?” he asks, needing to know who to high-five in his next lesson.

“No, Noel,” Ashton says. 

“10C? Short kid, really fucking fast?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs. How is Michael supposed to know how fast he is? It’s not like Noel’s Naruto running through the music room. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says, because apparently Noel’s Naruto running through the art room. 

“He’s really fucking good with a ball,” Calum says, and Michael bites back an awful innuendo with a lot of difficulty. Not in front of Ashton, he tells himself. 

“He’s lacking a passion,” Ashton says. “He’s good at art, but he messes around too much.” 

“Same with Music,” Michael says. “He’s got a temper on him, too.” 

“Well, maybe I can get him to channel it into football,” Calum says seriously. “Kids need an outlet, and something they feel like they’re good at. He needs something to be proud of.” 

Fuck, Michael thinks, as Ashton enthusiastically responds in kind, staring at Calum as he nods along to whatever Ashton’s saying with a thoughtful frown. He’s definitely in love. 

 ------- 

 Calum and Michael fall into a bit of a routine. 

They don’t share a lot of free periods together, only the fourth on Monday and second on Thursday, but Michael will wait at the corner of the field for Calum to finish clearing up after his last lesson and they’ll walk to the staff room together, sitting and chatting shit for an hour about nothing in particular. 

Michael learns that Calum’s got a sister, Mali, who’s in the music industry and whom he’s incredibly proud of, and that he’s half-Kiwi, half-Scottish, and grew up in western Sydney, not too far from Michael. He learns that Calum loves dogs more than he loves either bass or football, loves his dog (Duke) more than he loves anything else on the planet, likes playing Fifa and eating ice cream, and that his biggest fear is not having an impact on the world. He learns that Calum genuinely loves teaching, that Noel’s finding his feet with football and he’s really enjoying it, and that Calum almost went professional with football. 

(“Is there anything you aren’t fucking talented at?” Michael says grumpily, when Calum tells him that. Calum laughs. 

“Asking cute boys out,” he says, throwing Michael a grin, and Michael’s stomach flips.) 

And so he also learns that Calum’s gay, and that he’s been single his whole life. 

(“Are you serious? Michael says incredulously. Calum shrugs. 

“I’m not a blushing virgin, Michael,” he says, seeing the look on Michael’s face, and Michael scowls. 

“I didn’t say you were,” Michael says sullenly, but he’s secretly more than a little jealous of these nameless, faceless boys that have had the honour of fucking Calum Hood.) 

Of course, Michael’s not the only one in the school to notice Calum. 

A majority of the girls, and a good number of the boys, sing Calum’s praises to Michael every opportunity they get. He hears them talking in the corridors when Calum breezes past, smiling at them but eyes lighting up when he brushes past Michael (which Michael tries desperately not to think about when he’s staring out of the window daydreaming in the middle of a lesson). The staff are no better, either - Brenda and Caroline have been gossiping about Calum’s muscles so loudly that Michael only half-jokingly threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against them on his behalf. 

One thing that having an incredibly hot PE teacher has done wonders for, though, is school morale. 

It’s the only reason Michael’s standing at the corner of a wet field on a freezing May afternoon, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and somehow still shivering, huddled between Luke and Ashton, whom he’d bribed-slash-threatened to join him because he didn’t want to be too obvious about it. 

(“Mike, I don’t think you could be less obvious about being in love with Calum if you tried,” Luke had said, rolling his eyes, but then Michael had pulled out his trump card - he’d give Luke his coveted spot in the corner of the staff room - and Luke had agreed to go.) 

“I fucking hate you,” Luke mumbles into the scarf currently covering a good half of his face. “I’m so fucking cold. This is not worth it to get you laid.”

“Fuck you,” Michael says automatically, eyes on Calum. He’s shouting encouragement and tactics at the Year 12 football team - not that Michael can hear it above the cheers and boos from the rest of the school and their opposition - but he looks so fucking good, brow creased as he focuses on the game. 

“Are there usually this many people at football games?” Ashton asks, looking around in wonder. “There aren’t, are there?”

“How d’you expect us to know?” Luke asks, exasperated. “We’re not usually at football games either.” 

“We’re being good friends,” Ashton tells Luke, a little sternly, and Luke huffs, but doesn’t say anything else. 

Their team scores, and the crowd erupts into cheers, because it’s now only two minutes until the end of the game and they’re two-one up, so it’s unlikely the result will change. Calum still looks determined, though, muttering something to Ben, the Year 12 captain, who nods and jogs back across the bitch to prepare for the kick-off. 

“I hate this,” Luke whines after a minute, because that’s apparently as long as he can keep quiet without reminding everyone how miserable he is. “This is why I’m a Maths teacher.” 

“Shut up,” Michael says, and then the final whistle blows and Calum’s face is finally relaxing, tension dissipating from his posture as he cheers with the rest of the crowd. 

“Calum looks really good tonight,” Ashton says, sending a glance in Michael’s direction.

“Alright, fuck me, I guess,” Luke grumbles. Ashton rolls his eyes. 

“You’re such a fucking bitch sometimes,” he says, but he looks around furtively before snaking his arm around Luke’s waist and giving it a quick squeeze. 

“Everyone knows you’re fucking,” Michael comments, still staring at Calum. “You don’t have to be sly about it.” 

“No they don’t,” Luke says, leaning into Ashton’s touch. 

“Yes, they do,” Michael says, and then he forgets what he was going to say next because Calum makes eye contact with him from across the pitch and gives him a huge grin, and Michael’s stomach bottoms out. “Fuck, he’s grinning at me.” 

“Well, grin back, idiot,” Ashton says, so Michael does. Calum holds his gaze for a moment, and then turns back to his team, leaving Michael feeling a little unsteady. 

“I’m in love,” he declares, for the nintieth time that week. 

“We know,” Luke says grumpily. 

 ------- 

 Michael’s halfway through marking 8A’s elements of music test when there’s a knock at the door. He looks up, expecting to see Luke or Ashton, not Calum. He looks out of place in his football kit in the music room, and Michael’s brain short-circuits as it tries to reconcile a hot man in Michael’s music room. 

“Hey,” he says, sticking his head around the door. “Am I disturbing you?”

“No,” Michael says, because Calum could walk in on him taking a shit and wouldn’t be disturbing him. “What’s up?” Calum steps into the room, clicking the door shut behind him, and throws himself down on a seat opposite Michael’s desk.

“So,” he says. “You know All Time Low are here next weekend?” Michael nods. He’s planning on going with Luke and Ashton. “I might have got two tickets to Sunday night.” 

“That’s sick,” Michael enthuses. “Who are you going with?” Calum throws Michael an odd look, somewhere between exasperation and amusement. 

“Well, I was hoping you’d want to come?” he says. Michael blinks. 

“Me?” he says. 

“Yeah,” Calum says, and there’s definitely a hint of amusement in his tone now. 

“I, uh.” Michael’s not really sure how to speak without saying yes, please, and please let me suck your dick while I’m at it. He swallows, hoping it’ll make the words disappear from the tip of his tongue. “I’d fucking love to.” Calum grins, looking relieved, and Michael realises that he must have been nervous . Something about that sends a thrill coursing through his veins - he’d made Calum nervous, somehow. 

“Sweet,” he says happily. “Text me your address? I’ll pick you up at five.” Michael just nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Calum pulls himself up out of the chair, throwing him one last smile before he leaves the room. 

Fuck, Michael thinks, as the door swings shut behind Calum, pulling his phone out to Google how to fall out of love with a colleague. 

(It doesn’t help him at all.) 

 ------- 

 Next Sunday comes around faster than Michael had expected, given how much he’s been thinking about it. 

Luke and Ashton had been a little incensed when he’d told them he was no longer going with them but with Calum.

(“What?” Luke had said crossly. “Michael, you already bought your ticket.” 

“Yeah, but it’s a choice between third-wheeling you or one-on-one time with the love of my life,” Michael says dramatically. “What do you expect me to choose?”) 

At five to five, Michael’s sat in his living room, leg jiggling nervously as he checks his phone every two milliseconds just in case he’s somehow missed a notification from Calum in the time it’s taken him to blink. 

Calum, though, doesn’t even text to say he’s arrived, just rings the doorbell at five on the dot, scaring Michael shitless. 

“Hi,” Calum says, smiling, when Michael opens the door. He’s wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt and straight-leg blue jeans, which should look incredibly nineties and not good at all, but somehow makes Michael want to drop to his knees right there and then. Although, he supposes, that’s what Michael wants to do regardless of what Calum is wearing, so it’s probably nothing to do with that. “You look gorgeous.” Michael has to bite his cheek to check whether he’s still alive and not, like, ascended to heaven.

“Thanks,” Michael mumbles when his mouth floods with pain and it becomes clear that yes, he is actually still alive, feeling heat rise to his cheeks from the sheer intimacy of this moment with a colleague-slash-friend-slash-soulmate-but-he-doesn’t-know-it. He’s so used to seeing Calum in the context of school that it feels strange to see him in normal clothes, standing on Michael’s doorstep. 

“Are you ready, or, like, d’you want me to stand here all evening?” Calum says after a moment, and Michael steps out of the house with a scowl. 

“Fuck you,” he says, trailing behind Calum as they walk to his car. 

“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Calum says, and Michael chokes on his next breath. Calum, however, doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s getting into the car and starting the engine. Michael takes the opportunity to splutter for a second, re-learning how to breathe for the first time in twenty-five years, and takes a deep breath before getting in the passenger side of the car. 

“What d’you reckon’s going to be on the set list?” Calum asks, reversing out of Michael’s driveway and setting off down the street. Michael hums in consideration. 

“Aside from the obvious?” he says. 

“No, Michael, tell me that Dear Maria’s going to be on the set list,” Calum says sarcastically. Michael scowls. 

“I’d punch you if you weren’t driving,” he tells Calum, and Michael sees him grin in the dim light. 

“I’ve found my shield,” Calum says, running a stop sign. Michael squawks as they swerve into the road, grabbing onto the handle on the door. Calum rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’ve seen how you drive.” 

“Fuck off,” Michael says, scowling, but he can’t deny it. Speed is more important than safety, is his motto - mainly because he always sets off at least ten minutes late. 

“So?” Calum prompts. “Set list?” 

“I hope Monsters,” Michael says. “But honestly? I’d love some of the older stuff on there too.” 

“Yeah, I miss Stella being on the set list,” Calum says wistfully. 

“You saw them when Stella was on the set list?” 

“Yeah,” Calum says, a tad smug, and okay, fuck him. 

“Fuck,” Michael says, and he can’t even disguise the envy in his voice. Calum just laughs, throwing Michael a glance, and his eyes are glittering in the sunset, making Michael’s heart hurt a little bit. “You don’t deserve that.” 

“Hey,” Calum says, aiming for affronted, but he’s still grinning. “Don’t antagonise the driver.” 

“I can antagonise you all I want,” Michael says. “You’re not going to kill us on the way to an All Time Low gig.” 

“Might kill us on the way back, though,” Calum points out.

“Yeah, well, I can probably die happy, then,” Michael says, with a shrug. 

“True,” Calum agrees. “Good music, pretty boy in the passenger seat, what more could you want?” 

“Exactly,” Michael says emphatically, and it takes him until Calum’s started talking about the merits of Nothing Personal as compared to Don’t Panic to realise what Calum had just said. 

Michael’s in the passenger seat.

 ------- 

 The show, as expected, is amazing. 

Michael’s seen All Time Low, like, five times now, and they never fail to disappoint. He voices as such to Calum on the way home, running on a high of adrenaline and having seen Calum jumping in the pit, screaming the lyrics to every single song, which had only made Michael’s whole being-in-love-with-the-hot-PE-teacher situation a little more difficult to handle. 

“Right?” Calum enthuses, speeding along the almost-empty highway. “I’ve heard it so many times, but Therapy live just hits different.” 

“God, I know,” Michael groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the memory flash in front of his eyes. “I actually heard the full band version live, once.” 

“Yeah?” Calum asks, a tinge of envy in his voice. Michael savours the moment. 

“Yeah,” he says, a touch smugly. “It was fucking sick.” 

“I can imagine,” Calum says. “I told Alex that they should play it like that tonight, but-” 

“Hang on,” Michael says, cutting Calum off, because he cannot be understanding this correctly. “Alex who?” Calum suddenly looks a little guilty. 

“Uh,” he says. 

“Alex who, Calum?” 

“Gaskarth?” Calum offers after a moment, and Michael gapes at him. 

“You know Alex Gaskarth?” 

“Well, y’know, I used to be in a band, and we opened for All Time Low, and-” 

“You opened for All Time Low?” Michael asks. Calum chews on his bottom lip. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m- look, I’m sorry for not telling you, okay? I got the tickets through Alex, but I thought if I told you you might just want to go for them, like, you wouldn’t get it, and-” 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you know All Time Low,” Michael huffs, sinking down in his seat. Calum throws him a worried look, so Michael adds: “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” which makes Calum smile as he turns into Michael’s road. 

“Fuck you,” he says, but the concern is fading from his face as he parks on the road by Michael’s house this time. They both get out of the car, and then Michael hovers awkwardly by the little path that leads to his house. 

“You’re a traitor,” he says, when Calum rounds the corner of his car and comes to stand opposite Michael. He’s lit up in the orange light of the streetlights, dark brown hair surrounded by a halo of amber, and Michael doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight in his life.

“I had to make sure you were coming for me,” Calum protests, a smile playing at his lips. Michael blinks at him. 

“What do you mean?” he says, nonplussed. 

“Well, y’know,” Calum says, shrugging. 

“I don’t know,” Michael says. Calum looks at him oddly. 

“Wait,” he says. “You...you know this was a date, right?” Michael gapes at him. 

“Are you- wait, what?” Calum’s face falls, and he takes a step back, and no, no, no, that’s not what Michael wants. “Wait, no, I-” 

“Fuck,” Calum says, laughing uncomfortably as he cards a hand through his hair. “I probably should have made it clearer, huh? I did say I was bad at asking out cute boys.” 

“Me?” Michael’s voice is a good three octaves higher than usual. “You think I’m cute?” Calum smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Michael, I’ve been flirting with you since, like, the minute I saw you,” he says. 

“You have?” 

“Jesus Christ,” Calum mutters, and then seems to pull himself together. “Look, I’m sorry if I, like, overstepped, made things uncomfortable, whatever. I’m happy to keep it professional, and-” he cuts himself off when Michael laughs. “What?” he says, and it comes out snappy. 

“Are you serious?” Michael says, and he’s grinning now, so much he thinks he probably looks a little creepy. 

“You’re kind of being a dickhead, now, you know that?” Calum says, a little sharply. 

“No, Calum, I- fucking hell,” Michael says, and a bubble of manic laughter escapes from him. “I’ve been kind of in love with you since, like, before we met.” Calum looks at him for a moment, expression unreadable

“Before we met?” Calum asks carefully. 

“Yeah,” Michael says, nodding. “10C pointed you out, in first period, and I kind of stared at you for half the lesson.” Calum says nothing for a moment, just keeps looking at Michael, and it’s starting to get a little unnerving, when-

“Oh,” Calum says, and a small smile is creeping onto his face. “You- wait, so, like, I didn’t misread it? You do like me?” 

“I mean, I did just say I was kind of in love with you, but sure, I like you," Michael says, and Calum grins, lit up by the streetlights and his happiness, and Michael thinks he’s found space in his heart that he didn’t even know he had since meeting Calum. 

“So,” Calum says. “This was a date?”

“This was definitely a date,” Michael agrees, feeling his stomach flip pleasantly at the words. 

“Would it be cliché to kiss you goodnight?” Calum asks, and Michael grins. 

“Definitely,” he says, “but I’ll kill you if you don’t.” Calum grins back, and takes two steps forward to close the space between them, bringing a hand to Michael’s jaw and pressing his lips to Michael’s gently. It’s chaste, sweet, slow, languid, and Calum kisses like Michael’s the only thing that matters in the world. He smells like mint and pine and vanilla, pressed close to Michael’s chest, slipping an arm around Michael’s waist, and Michael groans into the kiss as he thinks about Calum’s long fingers splayed across the small of his back. 

“Too much?” Calum asks, breaking away, and Michael shakes his head, pressing his forehead against Calum’s shoulder. 

“Not enough,” he says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get enough of Calum Hood. Calum pulls him in for a proper hug, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and Michael’s glad Calum’s got strong arms because he feels like his knees are about to give in. 

“Do you want to come in?” he mumbles against Calum’s shoulder. 

“Is that a proposition?” Calum says, smile evident in his voice. 

“Do you want it to be?”

“Maybe.” Michael swallows. Jesus Christ. 

“Then it is.” Calum pulls back and looks at Michael, suddenly serious. 

“Hey,” he says. “This isn’t- this isn’t just sex for me. I really like you, Michael. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I want something more with you.” Michael grins. 

“Have I got to repeat the whole ‘kind of in love with you’ thing again?” he says, and Calum grins back. 

“Alright,” he says, and Michael hears his car squeaking to indicate it’s locked. “You’re making the excuses when we turn up to school tomorrow, though.” 

 -------

 A few students give them strange looks when they get out of Michael’s car in the morning. 

“Is this seriously the sportiest thing you own?” Calum grumbles for the fiftieth time, picking at the green hoodie and black jogging bottoms that Michael had chucked at him that morning. 

“Quit complaining,” Michael says, locking the car behind them and starting across the car park to the school. “Green’s your colour.” 

“Oh, that’s why you picked it,” Calum says, jogging a little to catch up with Michael. 

“Yeah,” Michael says with a grin, unashamed. Calum shakes his head, but he’s grinning too. 

“I’d kiss you right now if I could,” he says, as they turn into the building. 

“What’s stopping you?” Michael asks, as they make their way up the stairs to the staff room. 

“Uh, code of conduct? The contract I signed when I joined the school?” Michael rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door to the staff room. 

“Morning!” he chirps, heading straight for the desk Luke and Ashton are already sat at, Calum in his wake. 

“Morning!” a few people in the room chorus over the general buzz of post-weekend chatter. 

“Hey,” Luke says loudly, frowning. “Why’s Calum wearing your clothes?” 

The room goes still, and Michael just grins. 

[sagamemes]

disastrio’s 'the pin list’ text starters.   below and under the cut, you can find ~100 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends. slightly edited for roleplay purposes. spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy(tm). edit as you please. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u should know by now i'm not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   give it a good deep fry and it'll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm not making this up it's a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i just really don't like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what's deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i genuinely don't know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i legitimately don't know how you're expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm setting up my bfu episode

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u might finally be free of "[full name] fucks."

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   plural of jerry's is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you're sharing so there's a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we're just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well yeah, it's hard to knock on a door that doesn't exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i'm a sexual deviant and i can't be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the stars neglected me. they haven't assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me' was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the best tag i've ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why don't you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i see your "will make content for rarepairs" and i raise you "will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what's gonna come out of that?   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if i suffer y'all suffer that's the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm gonna go with "have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn't going to provide us with information"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ... Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh god i'd completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name]'s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i take it back i don't want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i feel like you constantly forget that i'm always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "white orc sex slave" is not a phrase i thought i'd hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE'S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you're going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ...do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i'm crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn't crawl up thanos's butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my brain was immediately with "she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i literally never know what i'm going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and that's not me saying flat earthers are right that's me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say, i'm an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck off. i don't know what they've done but it's [name] so it's gonna be bad.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   icb we have a test run on new year's eve