#put the right guy in the right haircut and i turn stupid!!

[ontarom]

When I watched the x files back in 08, I had a HUGE crush on Krycek, but upon rewatch I couldn't understand exactly why... Well I just got to season 4 where he shows up sporting a crew cut and I went "oh, right"

Plus, you know, the way he gets constantly disrespected and humiliated lmao. Sad dog of a man.

[octuscle]

Hey I love to become Stereotypical blonde football player guy with amazing muscles and a hairy body

"Why don't you take this spring break too, darling?" "Why don't you relax after your first semester, you've been so hard-working, boy" You can't hear it anymore. After the exams, you would have loved to go to the mountains. Hiking. And explore the starry sky at night. But no, you gave in to pressure from your parents and set off for South Beach in your ancient VW Jetta. This is going to be endlessly embarrassing. You're pale, chubby, completely untrained. You're a virgin. No one has ever sucked your pathetic little cock. And you've never sucked anyone else. For your taste, it should have stayed that way. But now it's Florida. And you don't even drink alcohol.

Your father actually found a cassette entitled "Freshman's Guide to Spring Break". It's embarrassing enough that you only have a cassette player in the car. You listened to your beloved 12-tone music during the whole journey. Schönberg was a genius after your own heart. But now, just under an hour before your destination, you put the cassette in. Accompanied by hip-hop, someone speaks in a nasty slang. You can just imagine the guy Football-Jock. One of the guys who bullied you at college last year. "Yo, dude! let me tell you ha to get da hottest spring break. You'll have more sex n more fun dan you can imagine." You take a deep breath. This is going to be great… "You should start uh year in advance n get your muscles burning every day. An important motto of spring break is n remains 'sun's out, guns out'." Well bravo, then you can turn around right away. What kind of stupid advice is that an hour before you get out of the car? A little late, perhaps, to… Damn it! Your muscles are swelling. And in your head, a profound knowledge of the gym matures. Hey, the gym is your home. "Bruh, last haircut maximum three months before you go to da beach. Yes, your mommy will be sad about da messy look at christmas. But uh surfer's mane is best for da beach." You said it, dude. You think to yourself. Your hair is flapping in the wind. You love it. "N bruh, don't wash your hair two weeks before. You can smell da sweat from your football helmet in your hair." Hehehe, sure thing. Showering sucks, but washing your hair is for wimps. You love the look when you take your helmet off after the game and your sweaty hair lies wildly on your head. "My tip, dude, is that da last time you shave is two weeks before spring break. Nah one wants uh clean shaven guy on da beach. N while we're on da subject of shaving. You can shave your chest again four days before you get ta steppin. Da stubble on your mighty pecs looks hot." The traffic is getting heavier. More and more party-addicted students are clogging up the streets. You scratch your chest. Yes, the bruh with the podcast coming from the sick speakers of your powerful new car knows all about it.

"So dude, before you hit da road, one last workout. You'll have somethin other dan sport on your mind for da next few days. Nah more showers afta training n keep your training clothes on for da journey." It already smells a bit in the car. But it's the stench of youthful masculinity. Up ahead is the guesthouse where the others from your football team are staying. Some of them are already there. And obviously already drunk. The podcast said that the most important accessory in the car is the cool can of beer for the arrival. Hell yes! You park the car, get out, rip open the can, drink the beer on ex and crush the can between your forearm and biceps. Spring break is only once a year. Let the games begin!

[isaacswhy]

hair

yumi x afab!reader (nsfw) summary: yumi tells you he needs a haircut, and you convince him it's a bad idea. requested?: by poll tags: oral (afab!receiving), hair pulling, somewhat sub yumi, no gendered terms or pronouns just anatomically afab MINORS DNI

"I need a haircut."

Those were your least favorite words you had to hear from your boyfriend, Blake. Even as you'd been conditioning him to get his hair cut a reasonable length and not to look like a toddler, it was hard. Every single stylist you brought him to would fuck him up.

Seated on his bed, you looked up at him from your phone and glared at him, to the best of your ability. "The hell you do."

"I do! Don't you see the fuckin' mop on my head?" Blake made a dramatic motion to his hair.

You frowned. You'd been learning how to cut hair in secret for the last few months, and you weren't quite ready to put your skills to the test. Most of your work had been on Isaac, who was willing enough to let you practice on him. Not like he was appearing much in videos anyways.

"Yeah, but it's my mop. It looks so pretty when it grows out, you can actually see the little waves in your hair," You said, making a little wavy motion with your hand.

Blake let out a dramatic sigh. "We can find a new person to cut my hair, a real professional, but please. I need to be able to see my screen one of these days."

You cocked a brow at him. "Then put it up or something. You know I think it looks sexy pushed back."

"It looks fuckin' stupid pushed back, and you know it."

"Not when I push it back."

Blake's head whipped over to you, as he had turned somewhat back to his computer. His cheeks flushed a little bit and he let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, well, that's a different, uh, thing."

"What? You know I like to put my hands through it and everything. Like when you're in my lap or-" You paused for a moment and let out a loud laugh, "Holy shit, Blake, that was not what I meant."

Blake put his head in his hands for a moment, letting out a long sigh. "Well.."

You began cracking up into a small fit of laughter. "Holy shit, you are so sex-brained it's crazy. You horny bitch, you like it when I pull your hair like that?"

Blake's face was completely covered by his hands, but you could see the redness in his ears. "Fuck off."

You stood up from his bed, leaving your phone on his comforter. Walking over to Blake, his face was still buried in his hands as you ran a hand through his soft, brown hair. He leaned into your touch on impulse and you smiled, opting not to make a comment about it.

"I know you like giving head, baby," You said in a softer voice, "There's no reason to be ashamed of it."

"I know," Blake whined as he pulled his head from his hands and looked at the ground, "It's just not super normal. Every guy I grew up around only ever talked about just dicking their partners down."

You nodded as your fingers worked through different strands of his hair. "But it's okay to not just want that. To like doing other things, too. You know that, right?"

Blake looked up at you. "Yeah, I know that, too. It's just- I think about it a lot. Drives me crazy sometimes."

You laughed softly as your eyes met his. "You are the horniest man on planet Earth, I think. But.. I don't mind, if I'm getting head all the time."

"That you are," Blake grinned as he slowly stood up, you taking a step back to give him room to stand.

You took his hand and pulled him over to the bed, and he followed along eagerly. You stopped him near the edge of the bed, putting a hand in his hair and pushing him down to his knees. He leaned forward, pressing soft kisses to your clothed thighs, eyes closed.

His hands trailed up the back of your thighs, groping at your ass briefly before his fingers looked to hook under the band of your sweatpants you had taken from his wardrobe. He successfully was able to, slowly pulling them down until they hit the floor, him now pressing his kisses to the skin of your thighs.

He was a little hastier to get to the hem of your underwear, pulling it off the same as he did with your sweats. His kisses trailed up, making you hold your breath as he got closer to where you wanted him to be. He teased just a little, kissing over the folds.

Before you could say anything, he stopped you just as you opened your mouth by dragging a tongue between them. The first bit of stimulation shut you down almost immediately, your right hand grasping into his soft hair. You heard him let out a small sound as his tongue dragged along your clit, making a slow circle that had your breathing turning shaky.

You stopped him for a moment, using your hand to pull him away, before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Your legs spread apart, because you knew he could work well with better access. He was eager to continue, your hand guiding him back.

He took a few long licks, his tongue pressed flat, before he began what he was best at. His tongue circling your clit, his lips sucking softly to create a mind-numbing feeling of suction. Your head rolled back on your shoulders, letting out soft moans as your grip in his hair tightened.

His hand slid down your inner thigh, kneading at it briefly before coming closer to his mouth. One of his fingers dragged closer, finally teasing at your entrance. You could feel just how slick and hot you were, and it was bad. With Blake between your legs, how couldn't you be?

As soon as it slid inside, you let out a whine, feeling him push in and slowly begin to stretch you out. His fingers were thick enough to have one making you squirm, panting softly as his mouth continued to drive you crazy. The finger worked slowly but thoroughly, pushing in deep and curling to hit the sweet spot.

As soon as he pushed a second finger in without warning, you doubled over and keened. You'd turned into a mess, moaning and softly repeating his name under your breath. Blake seemed fine, totally under control as he licked and sucked at your sensitive points, his fingers driving in deeper. He looked almost entranced, his eyes closed but his mouth and fingers working rhythmically.

Your grip was slowly starting to tighten further into his hair, the feeling of pleasure only intensifying. Every second, it was getting more and more overwhelming and it signaled your orgasm was quickly approaching.

"Blake, baby," You said through shaky breaths, "Getting.. close."

He looked up at you with a devilish grin, and you felt your stomach fill with butterflies. You could only hold his gaze as his fingers pushed in faster and deeper, his mouth and tongue working overtime. The release came at you full-speed like a train, feeling like a coil snapped inside your guts. All of the sudden, you were moaning out like a whore and pulling Blake's hair hard.

As the waves of pleasure cascaded through you, clenching around his fingers, he slowed down and pulled his mouth from your sensitive, twitching clit. He gave you a soft smile, kissing you briefly. "Was that good?"

"Was that-" You scoffed and looked at him like he was insane, "Are you kidding me? That was amazing."

Blake grinned, pulling his fingers from you and licking them clean. "Tastes so good."

"God, you're so.." You trailed off with a groan. He drove you insane, always so positive and goofy but looking to please at any given minute. It was like the universe had made him for you.

"So what?"

"So perfect," You sighed, "So, are you going to cut your hair now?"

Blake took a second to think before shaking his head. "No, I think I'll survive a few more weeks."

"That's right," You smiled and ruffled his hair with your hand, "Don't take this beautiful mop away from me just yet."

[dorkszn]

— letting you do their hair

— thomas j, alexander h, and phillip h x gn reader, john laurens x masc reader

+ black coded reader for thomas and john! modern-ish au!

PHILLIP H !

✩ he loves letting you do this hair. sometimes you don’t even have to ask, he’ll ask you.

✩ he only trust you and his parents to wash it and take care of it

✩ you style it a lot for him and eliza loves it

✩ tender headed as fuck

✩ if someone flirts with him in public, especially if they bring up his hair, he’ll just go on and on about you

✩ “oh my hair? yeah it’s nice, ain’t it? my (s/o) did it. Aren’t they so skilled?”

✩ you teach him how to braid his hair and style it the way you do so he can do them himself if there’s a time you’re not around

☆ watching your favorite shows 🤝 washing and drying his hair

THOMAS J !

☆ he is so protective of his hair. like he’s the only one allowed to touch it

☆ so obviously it took you a lot of begging and convincing but he eventually gave in

☆ he’ll make snarky comments and act like a baby when you first wash his hair or attempt to style it but a little pop with the comb gets him to shut up

☆ he almost fell asleep the first time you braided his hair, but he likes to pretend it never happened

☆ so embarrassed to ask you to wash his hair and you can’t help but tease him for it

☆ after a while, he had you braiding his hair once a week for an extra curl

☆ you guys have matching bonnets

☆ he will literally call James mid hair session and just start talking about the government with him

☆ he was very skeptical about your products but eventually they become the only thing he uses

ALEXANDER H !

☆ he was genuinely surprised when you asked him to do his hair

☆ he hadn’t had anyone to do it or take care of it for years, especially since his mother passed

☆ “you’d do that for me?” he’d question, genuine shock on his face

☆ and it takes all of both of you to not start crying when you do take care of his hair

☆ the first time you washed it for him was the most relaxed you’d ever seen him

☆ it was the most loved he’d felt for a while

☆ then there were times were you just played in his hair

☆ whether we was working or just watching tv, you were putting silly little styles in his hair. and it he loves it. he thinks it’s adorable.

☆ some mornings, he ask you to put his hair up for him or slick it back for him just so he can have the best start to his day

☆ his hair was very first thing he asked you to do when he came back from war

☆ scalp massages >>>

☆ they’re one of the only things that convince him to leave his office, just for a little bit

JOHN L !

☆ after he meets you, he refuses to do his hair unless you’re away on a trip

☆ he whines and pleads, making an excuses on “how you do so much better” and “how loved it makes him feel” while giving you kisses

☆ but if you’re truly tired, of course he’ll give you a break

☆ you came home once and found him wearing your bonnet/durag

☆ you also do most of his haircuts

☆ he doesn’t mind his hair growing out but he knows it’s getting too long when you start beating him while play fighting

☆ to him if you’re winning, his hair is messing with his vision and it’s a “handicap”

☆ definitely gets popped with the comb everytime you do his hair

“john, could you turn your head just a little bit?” you question, your frustration already growing. he couldn’t help but tease you constantly, it was in his nature. he slightly turns his head with a small smirk on his face, knowing he was pissing you off.

“john, don’t play with me right no—“ you cut off your words when john grabs you by the waist and pulls you in and onto his lap. his hand gripping the outside of your thigh to support you as you straddle his legs.

“this angle good enough for you?” he asks, giving you his typically stupid grin. you can’t help but softly smile as you look at him, your previous anger from before leaving.

“t’s fine, i guess.” you shrug before going back to attempting to cut his hair.

“see? why let anyone else do my hair when i can have you do it for free and get a lap dance at the same time?” he says nonchalantly, continuing to scroll on his phone. his free hand caress your thigh and slithering back to ass.

“john, i swear you’re going to wake up bald one day.”

[xoxostarzzz]

Something Stupid like 'I love you'.

- eventually chuuran (and reader)

- slowburn enemies to lovers

- gender neutral reader (gn!reader)

- will have multiple chapters

------

Something Stupid like ‘I love you.’

Another horrible morning on your way to the stupid place people call work, the’Armed Detective agency’. Which, you think is the most stupid, unimportant place in the world. The people you work with the most is a sadistic doctor, two siblings complicated relationship, a maniac, a guy who needs anger management, a guy who looks like he should be retired, children, and an orphan. And, worst of all, a narcissistic childish brat called Ranpo Edogwa, who just swears he’s the best person in the world. And worst of all? Everyone at your godforsaken work decides to support him!

And the enemy of your stupid work is equally horrible. It’s ran by a lolicon, has abused kids, a controlling “mother”, emo siblings, fangirl, grown man with a bowl cut, a ginger. And worst there? Another dude with anger issues, who’s short as can be, has a haircut that looks like a five year old is his barber, another ginger, and wears the lolicon’s old hat. Chuuya Nakahara. He has mood swings like crazy, and is completely insufferable. Both of these guys make your life miserable, except they really don’t try to…

Well, Ranpo totally tries to get on your nerves. But he’s just naturally a brat. And Chuuya has anger issues for days, but that’s also just how he is. So, why do they annoy you so much in particular? They make you feel weird, just them too. You’d never admit it, but the feeling was….

Oh. You’re here. You could tell by the sudden candy wrapper on the ground, you looked to the right, and the Armed Detective Agency building was there, so was Ranpo. One hand on his hip while the other was on the stick of the lollipop in his mouth, eyes closed like always. Your eyes changed to look at him, side glancing, and quickly became more annoyed just at the sight of him.

“Why are you here?”

He snickered, ready to make some smart comment. ‘I work here’, ‘because I’m the greatest detective’. He seriously thought that he was the best, better than everyone, and that everyone envied him. That’s how he is.

“Because I, the greatest detective Ranpo Edogwa, work at the Armed Detective Agency.”

You made a ‘tsk’ sound, as you clacked your tongue down. Not looking at him anymore, he responded exactly like you imagined. In fact, since he’s so “smart”, he probably knew you thought he’d say that, and said that just to annoy you. You were just about to step inside of the building- why would you want to be near him? Especially when he’s making his stupid smart comments. But, no. He decided he wasn’t done yet, and grabbed you by the sleeve.

“They aren’t here yet. They’re in the cafe.”

You rolled your eyes at that, what was he playing at? Why would he help you? He’s too annoying- too bratty, to do that. Or, as he puts it, “too great”- not that he is. You looked towards him again, head turned instead of the measly side glance like before. Deciding to play at his game, and to let him get what he wants. To be honest, it was really just to stop him from whining like a little kid by the end of it.

“All of them? Then why are you here?”

“I went to get my candy, and didn’t know where to go.”

Theres another thing that ticks you off. He, as a grown man, oldest in the Armed Detective Agency- doesn’t know how to get from one place to another. How do you, as a twenty-six year old, not know how to get from one place to another? If you’re so great then lead yourself to the cafe for gods sake.

“And what do you want me to do about that?”

True, what does he expect you to do? Lead him there? As if you’d ever lead someone as annoying as him to the cafe.

“Lead me.”

You could almost feel how happy he was with himself for saying that. He knows you despise him, he knows he’s the worst in the world to you. He just purposely annoys you because you don’t see his “greatness”, it’s ironic.

“What would ever make you think I’d lead you?”

His eyes finally opened, oh how nice of him to let his eyes fall onto yours. It’s the least he could do anyways… But, as if he’d overwork his “ever so great self”, wouldn’t want to have the greatest detective tired, would we? He gave some stupid smirk, as if he could already tell how upset you’re gonna be. He only knows how to make you look dumb and him look even smarter just cause he planned all of this out already. He planned on how to make you look, and seem, as stupid as possible.

“Because Tanizaki locked the door, so you’d be stuck here with me if you don’t. Now lead me.”

He’s really just so annoying. He’s the kinda dude who’d purposely annoy you your whole life just to amuse himself and make himself look even better. He stopped smirking, and just stared at you with his baby puke colored eyes. You groaned, before walking away from the door, clearly having an annoyed walk, you couldn’t make it anymore obvious. The steps were angry, yet slow where it didn’t make you look stupid- just mad. He did some little jump like a five year old, then started following you. One hand now holding the lollipop in it, other fixing his hat.

He watched you walk in front of him, as if he was fascinated… with how horrible you are, obviously. Seriously, who gets that upset just over having to lead the worlds greatest detective? You should be honored! You should thank him! This should be an amazing thing to you, thats how stupid people like you should feel when he tells them to lead him somewhere. Who do you think you are to get mad cause’ you have to do something for the smartest man in the world?

The lolipop went back in his mouth, he stopped fixing his hat. He also had picked up the candy wrapper off of the ground from earlier. No, not out of the goodness of his heart. Just to look at the candy wrapper, and mess around with it. Annoying crinkles from it were heard from behind you, he was probably just trying to annoy you again. He looooves seeing stupid people upset, stupid people like you. The crinkling continued, louder and louder. You eventually got fed up, and spoke in a somewhat louder voice than your usual one, as you side glanced behind you to look at the annoying, horrible man.

“Would you just shut up already?”

He snickered again. Great. What an amazing and communicative response. Really gave you a good answer. You rolled your eyes again, is that all you can do? Stopped by the door entrance, he took this as the perfect opportunity to put the crinkled up, germ ridden, candy wrapper trash, in your shirt. Just from the back, as if it was the most funny and rude thing in the world. He’s so amused and confident with his actions, he happily hummed to himself as he closed his eyes while walking into the cafe with all of the other memberers of this stupid agency.

You were about to walk away, but no. Ranpo had decided to drag you in, your eyes angrily shot to the annoying mastermind infront of you, but your eyes only met the back of his head. You then had also realized, one of the cafe ladies had seen you walk in. Now you didn’t want to make yourself seem rude, or pouty, so you stopped whining. Smiled at the lady softly, just to be slammed down in a seat at the bench of a table, where Ranpo was. So he’s not done annoying you yet? How nice of him.

“Aren’t you happy to be in the cafe with the greatest detective in the world?”

“No.”

“Rude.”

He also completely hated this, but as long as you’re upset, he’s happy. So he just had his chin rest on the palm of his hand, as he looked at the cafe area, where their usuals were being made. Ranpo was getting his usual of the sugariest treat they have there, and the sugariest candy filled drink they have too. Yours was being made too, you got one snack/treat and a drink. If you looked from behind Ranpo (which you wouldn’t, you don’t want to see Ranpo at all), you would see Dazai snickering. He probably took part of this, maybe cause Kunikida couldn’t come today. Whatever.

A lady came over and put what you two normally get on the table, you moved as far away from Ranpo as possible as you ate. He ignored it, and happily ate his sugary junk while his eyes were closed. He completely ignored you now that sweets was in the question, no wonder he’s single. You eventually finished your food, you had to make sure you didn’t look at him or else you’d not be able to finish it at all. You took the drink, and looked out the window, not looking at him at all. He took note of this, and said,

“You’re supposed to agknowledge me.”

You looked at him for once, clearly unhappy by that statement. He dragged you here, against your will, and still has the nerve to complain about you not wanting anything to with it, or him? And he swears he’s smart, if he really is that smart- why can’t he just leave you alone for once?

“Oh I’m sorry, princess. How is your food?”

“Was that that hard to do?”

“Yes.”

He rolled his eyes this time, before quickly changing his attitude. He happily hummed, and went back to his sweets. You sighed, and looked out the window again.

You’re gonna be here for a while, huh?

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 1

Summary: The plan that night was just to have fun and try to forget. And Valeria (or Val as everyone calls her) did forget. But what she didn't expect, was to do it with someone younger than her. Someone who also happened to be a football player, and from her team's sworn enemy: Pedri González.

Little warning: there is an age gap in this story. Throughout it I don't mention any exact number, but in my head she was like 28/29.

Author’s note: Me, a Real Madrid supporter, writing for a Barça player? Yep, it's happening 😅 It all started as a joke with a friend who is currenlty obsessed with him and other Barça players, then I got carried away... and here we are. Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"Stop checking that photo, Val."

"I wasn't checking it" I say, quickly putting my phone down.

"Of course you weren't" Silvia says, rolling her eyes. "We are here to forget about all that, remember? Let's focus on it."

"Ok..." I sigh, taking a sip of my beer.

"Great. What do you think about them?" Silvia says, nodding towards the group of men to my left.

"Eww, no."

"And what about… them? The ones ordering a drink. They look quite decent."

"And posh."

"They do, don't they? And we are trying to forget about a posh guy, so they aren't an option. What about… Oh! Them!" she says, nodding towards someone to my right. "I thought the cute one had left, but looks like he only went to the bathroom or something."

"Who?"

"That guy over there, the one with the Adidas t-shirt. He hasn't been able to keep his eyes from you since we arrived."

"Yeah, sure" I snort.

"He is looking at you again."

"Silvia!" 

"What?"

"Why did you wave at him?"

"Why not? He is really cute. His friend too."

"I don't trust you and what you find… fuck" I say as I turn around.

"He's a hottie, uh?" she smirks.

"I know who that is."

"You do? Is that why he has been looking at you?"

"I don't know him in person, but I know who he is."

"What?" Silvia asks with a confused look.

"That's…"

"Hello" a male voice says next to us. 

"Hi" she replies with a big smile. 

"I hope we aren't bothering you. I saw you waving and I just…"

"No, it's fine. It's fine. My friend here was actually telling me that she knows you!"

"Silvia!" I hiss.

"What? You do know him, don't you? Though she said something weird about not doing it in person. Do you follow each other on Instagram or something?"

"I wish" he chuckles. 

"Ok, now I am completely lost."

"Silvia, you are talking to Pedri."

"Who?"

"The Barça player" I sigh.

"Pedri? I don't remember hearing you talk about a Pedri."

"Because when I've done it, I haven't said nice things about him."

"Ouch!" he laughs, reminding us that he is standing next to us.

"I'm a Real Madrid supporter. Sorry" I shrug, finally daring to look at him. But he doesn't look like the Pedri I remembered from our last game against Barça. He seems to have gotten rid of the stupid haircut, and looks like he is trying to grow a beard. He looks less like the kid he actually is, and more like a man, kind of… attractive? And the way he is looking at me, the smirk on his face… Fuck. He is attractive. 

"Bro, she is gonna be a tough one" his friend laughs. 

"You are gonna have to let me buy you a drink. I won't see the end of it if you say no" Pedri says, trying to give me puppy eyes.

"Are you allowed to buy alcohol?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't he? I see football players getting drunk all the time" Silvia says.

"It's not because of his job. It's because of his age."

"What?" she laughs.

"How old do you think he is?"

"I don't know… Twenty something?" 

"Without the something" I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "He is a kid."

"Really?"

"I am not a kid" he replies, also crossing his arms and trying to look offended.

"Yes, you are. And I don't accept alcohol from kids."

"Oh, c'mon. As if you were an old lady or something" he laughs. "You can't be older than 25."

"Oh my God" I laugh, Silvia joining me. 

"What? What is so funny?" he asks.

"You" I say, trying to contain my giggles. "You are so innocent."

"Now that is something funny" his friend chuckles.

"Ok, fine. You aren't 25" Pedri says. "26 then?"

"I'm too old for you. Let's just leave it there."

"Well, I don't care about how old you are" he shrugs.

"But I do."

"Oh, c'mon, it's just a drink and a chat. There is nothing illegal about that."

"But I support Real Madrid and you play for Barça. I'm pretty sure that is illegal."

"Another excuse" he says, rolling his eyes.

"It isn't an excuse, it's a fact."

"It is an excuse" he repeats, moving closer. "You are just afraid you may end up fancying someone younger and from the enemy."

"Afraid? Please" I snort.

"Then let me buy you that drink."

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone once I've finished it?"

"If that's what you want… But you'll probably want more" he smirks.

"Yeah, sure" I reply, trying to ignore the way my stomach has reacted to that smile. Again. "Silvia, do you… Wait, where is she? And your friend?"

"Looks like they left us alone."

"I'm killing her the moment I find her."

"Or thanking her."

"Why do you keep insisting? Why are you flirting with me instead of those teenagers over there?"

"Because they don't interest me. You do."

"Me? Why?"

"I don't know" Pedri shrugs. "But the moment you walked in, I couldn't keep my eyes from you. You are different from the others."

"Has that pickup line ever worked before?" I chuckle.

"I'm telling you the truth."

"And I'm 25" I laugh.

"You do look 25. And they look so good" he says, looking at me from head to toe, making my cheeks get warm. 

"Are you buying me that drink or not?" I say, trying to stop whatever he is doing to me.

"Yes, sure" he smirks. "Another beer?"

"Please" I reply, taking a big breath when he turns his back to me to go order, trying to compose myself. Why is a kid making me feel… things?

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Pedri asks me once he is back with our drinks.

"Silvia wanted to go out to help me forget about something."

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Forgotten about that something."

"I… I actually have, yes. Having a kid trying to flirt with me has helped. Cheers to that" I say before drinking.

"Cheers" he chuckles. "But I am not a kid."

"That's what you keep saying, but I don't believe you."

"I'm drinking alcohol and have a driving license."

"Not enough."

"Do you want me to show you that I'm not a kid, then?" he asks, arching a perfect eyebrow. 

"Yeah, why not" I shrug.

"You asked for it" he says, quickly moving around the small table where we were standing and showing up by my side, his hands cupping my face before kissing me.

He is kissing me. Fucking Pedri González is kissing me. And for some reason, I am not slapping his face. For some really odd reason, I am kissing him back, getting completely lost on what is happening.

"Is this enough to prove to you that I am not a kid or do I have to keep going?" he asks, resting his forehead on mine and trying really hard not to smile.

"Not enough" I hear myself saying.

"Ok" he replies, this time fully smiling before kissing me. And, again, I feel myself getting lost on the way his lips and his tongue feel on mine, on his hands on my face, mine resting on his chest. It feels like something completely new and exciting, but also familiar and somehow peaceful. As if we had known each other our whole lives and hadn't met just a minute ago. 

"And now?" Pedri whispers against my lips when we finally manage to stop.

"Now what?" 

"Do you still think I am a kid?"

"A teenager."

"What?" he laughs. 

"You've gone from kid to teenager, congratulations."

"I am not a teenager either."

"You actually are. Scientists say that the teenage years end in your twenties, so" I shrug.

"Ok, fine" he laughs again, moving one of his thumbs over my cheek. "You are hot."

"Thank you?"

"I didn't mean it like that" he chuckles. "You are hot, but you also feel hot."

"Oh. I… I actually do feel a bit hot, yes."

"Do you want to go outside and have some fresh air? I know a place where no one will bother us."

"Ok" I say, letting him take my hand and guide me outside.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I had never seen the city like this. It's beautiful" I say as I look at Barcelona's skyline. "How did you find this place?" 

"A security guy from the club brought me here after someone recognized me and things got a bit crazy."

"He brought you to the rooftop?"

"Yep" Pedri says. "Weird, but it was exactly what I needed to calm down."

"Was it too bad? What happened that day, I mean."

"I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack. I suddenly found myself surrounded by too many people with phones flashing everywhere, arms and hands all over me. It was too much."

"I'm sorry" I say, giving his hand a little squeeze. We hadn't let go yet. I hadn't.

"Thank you… Wait, I don't know your name."

"What?"

"I just realized I haven't asked you your name."

"I guess you were so busy putting your tongue down my throat that you forgot to ask."

"I didn't hear you complaining" he smiles. 

"Yeah, whatever."

"And?"

"And what?" I ask.

"Your name. Are you going to tell me or not?"

"You'll have to earn it."

"Earn it? How?"

"I don't know" I shrug. "But I'm sure you can think of something."

"I… I actually can, yes. And it is something that will also show you that I am not a teenager even if scientists say so."

"Enlighten me" I say, my words turning into a whisper when I notice the way he is looking at me.

"My pleasure" he replies, guiding me towards a picnic table. Why is there a picnic table on the rooftop of a club? I don't know. 

"What… what are you doing?" I ask when he lifts me up and sits me on the table.

"What do you think?" he smirks, sitting between my legs and caressing the inside of my knee, the feeling making me shudder.

"We are on a rooftop."

"And?"

"What if someone comes in? Or sees us? Or… fuck" I gasp when he kisses my inner thigh.

"No one will bother us."

"How do you know? Have you done this before? Is this where you take all the girls you pick up downstairs?"

"You are the first person I've brought here" he says, meeting my eyes before kissing my thigh again.

"Am I?"

"You are" he says, slowly lifting my dress. 

"Should I feel flattered?"

"Definitely. I told you you aren't like the others."

"Yeah, because I'm way older" I chuckle.

"Tonight you are 25. And when I'm done with this, so will I."

"Yeah, well. We'll see" I say, biting my lower lip and trying to stay calm despite the way my skin is burning under his touch or what I am feeling… there.

"May I, then?" Pedri asks, his fingers playing with the hem of my underwear.

"Yes" I nod, my eyes focused on his as he pulls it down.

"Try not to forget about your name" he smirks.

"Why would I… Fuck" I gasp when I feel his tongue, everything that he does after making me forget about my name, but not his. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning."

"Good morning" Silvia yawns. "What is all this?"

"Breakfast" I smile.

"You made breakfast?" 

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was in the mood for it" I shrug.

"You were in the mood for it, uh?" she chuckles. "You should fuck a teenager more often if this is what I get in return. It looks amazing."

"I didn't fuck a teenager" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Ok, fine. He did it all while you just had the best orgasm of your life."

"It wasn't the best."

"Top 3?" Silvia smirks.

"Whatever" I say, pouring myself some coffee.

"Are you seeing him again?"

"No way. One mistake is enough."

"Mistake?" she laughs. "Girl, look at you. You are glowing and haven't been able to stop smiling since you said goodbye to him. That doesn't look like a mistake to me."

"He is a kid, Silvia. And a football player. He is like a walking red flag."

"But I'm not asking you to marry him or anything. I'm just telling you to have fun for once in your life."

"Are you calling me boring?"

"When it comes to your relationships, yes, you are boring. This is the most interesting thing you've done since you became single, and he managed to make you forget about you know what, didn't he?"

"He did, yes" I sigh. "But it probably is because I was too busy freaking out about the fact that I had made out with a teen who happens to be a football star and I didn't have time to think about anything else."

"You were too busy thinking about the way he was making you feel, not his age or his job. That's good, you know?"

"That's crazy, Silvia. And dangerous."

"That's good. If he has managed to make you feel like this just with what he did last night, imagine what he can do when he actually fucks you."

"That isn't going to happen, tho."

"Why not?"

"Because he is Pedri! The Pedri! And he plays for Barça!"

"And?" she shrugs.

"Urgh."

"I think you should meet again. He definitely fancies you."

"He doesn't. He just sees me as a challenge because I'm older and support Real Madrid, and if he gets to fuck me he'll be able to brag about it with his friends."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No."

"Then you don't know if that's what he feels" Silvia shrugs again. "And what if that's the case, uh? I'm sure it'll be worth it."

"Oh, yes. Being treated like I'm just a piece of meat by a bunch of teenagers is so worth it" I reply, rolling my eyes.

"But you will also be using him, Val. He gets to brag, you get to be railed. I think it is worth it."

"It is madness, that's what it is. Now can we please eat our breakfast and change the topic of conversation?"

"Yeah, sure" Silvia says when my phone starts ringing. "Oh my God, is that him? Did we manifest it?"

"It's my mum. He probably is still sleeping like the baby he is. Hello, mum" I say, picking up.

"Valeria! Why hadn't you told me that Marc got engaged!"

"I forgot" I shrug.

"You forgot? He is your ex boyfriend!"

"Maybe that's why I forgot?"

"I thought you had remained as friends."

"And we have."

"Then?"

"Then what, mum?"

"Then why didn't you tell me!"

"Because I forgot, I already told you!" 

"There is no need to yell, Valeria."

"I'm sorry, mum. I'm not in the best mood right now" I sigh.

"Oh, my poor thing. Knowing that you are the only one in your group of friends who isn't married or in a serious relationship can't be easy."

"I don't care about that, mum" I say.

"Well, you should! I want grandchildren, Valeria!"

"I have to go, mum."

"Where?"

"Silvia is calling me, she needs my help with something. Bye."

"But…"

"Bye" I say before hanging up.

"That was rude, Val."

"I'm sorry, ok? But she can be so annoying. Who cares if… Fuck."

"Uh?"

"He just texted me" I say, my eyes fixed on the notification on my phone, my heart suddenly beating way too fast. 

"Who did?"

"Pedri just texted me."

"No way!" Silvia says, quickly moving to stand next to me. "What does he say?"

"If I'm free later today."

"Well, you are."

"Weren't we going to…"

"No, that's been canceled. You are going out with him and hopefully get railed so you can forget about your mum and everything she just said."

"Silvia..."

"You are going, Val. End of the story." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"Why not?"

"Because I am a teenager who plays for Barça and that's illegal?" Pedri laughs. 

"Yeah, well. I needed to get out of the house and stop thinking, and you somehow manage to help me with that."

"And is that something good or bad?"

"Silvia says it's good. I don't know yet."

"Then I'll guess we'll have to keep hanging out until you make up your mind" he smiles.

"Maybe... We'll see. I had never been here before."

"That's because this is my secret place."

"Another one?" I chuckle.

"Another one. When you become so famous you can't step outside without being recognized, you somehow manage to find spots where no one can find you, places that are just for yourself."

"It must suck. Not being able to do normal things anymore, I mean. I don't know if I could be able to handle it."

"It sucks, yeah" he sighs. "But then I come here and I forget about everything. It's just me and the sea."

"Look at us, both looking for something that helps us forget" I laugh. "We are so sad."

"But now we have something in common" Pedri winks.

"I guess" I giggle. I giggled? Why did I giggle? "Anyway" I say, clearing my throat. "Can we go down to the beach?"

"Of course. There is a path over there."

"Then let's go" I say, taking his hand on mine and starting to walk.  

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You are going to end up falling into the water if you keep playing like that" Pedri says with a cheeky smile.

"Lucky me, there is a young man next to me that will come to my rescue" I smirk, jumping when another wave threatens to touch me.

"Oh, now I am a young man?" 

"You've earned it for bringing me here. This beach is perfect."

"I still feel like a kid when you talk about all these rewards, tho." 

"That's my inner teacher speaking" I shrug.

"Is that what you do for a living?"

"Yep. This year I will be teaching 6-years-old."

"And I can tell you love it."

"Uh?"

"Your smile. It says it all" he says, looking at me in a way that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

"Yeah, umm… Should we go for a swim?" I blurt out.

"Now?" Pedri chuckles.

"Yes, now."

"But we don't have swimsuits."

"But we do have underwear, don't we?" I say, taking off my t-shirt. "We do, right?"

"Yes, we do" he laughs. 

"Then c'mon" I smile. "You are an island boy, you must be aching to go into the sea and just swim."

"You know what… you are right" he says, taking off his t-shirt too and making me stare at him. I just can't help it. Because a kid should not have those arms and that torso and those things on his hips that go all the way down to… 

"Liking what you see?"

"What?" 

"You are staring" he says with a teasing smile.

"I was just thinking and not looking anywhere in particular."

"Yeah, sure."

"I was" I insist, getting rid of my skirt. "And now you are the one staring" I say when I look up at him again.

"Yes, I am. I really like what I'm seeing."

"Great, cool. Shall we?"

"After you" Pedri smiles, making me feel his eyes on me as I turn around. He is checking me out. He definitely is. Why did I think this was a good idea? Swimming in the sea in my underwear. What the hell? 

"Oh, shit" I hiss, the water feeling colder than I expected.

"You are going too slow!"

"What?"

"Too slow!" he says behind me, lifting me in the air and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Pedri!" 

"This is how you do it!" he laughs before jumping with me into the water.

"It is so fucking cold" I laugh when I make it back to the surface, his head popping next to me.

"It isn't that cold, stop complaining" he says while splashing me.

"It is" I reply, splashing him back. 

"Maybe this will help" he smirks, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me closer to him.

"Still cold" I reply, putting my arms around his neck.

"What about this" he says before kissing me. It is a short kiss, but it is enough to make me feel my cheeks getting warm.

"That is definitely working" I giggle. Again. Why am I behaving like the teenager here? 

"Should I keep going, then?" he asks, trying to hide a smile. 

"You should. You definitely should" I say before his lips are on mine once again.

[ddejavvu]

Hii!!

Can you please do more grumpy!reader and sunshine!Spencer?

The last one you wrote WAS SO CUTE!!!!

I love you so much!! Have a super awesome and wonderful day!!

thank you thank you thank you, i love you too!! sunshine!spencer has my whole heart, i swear :(

--

You prided yourself on being unflappable. Sure, you lashed out every once in a while, when you were really pissed, but you'd managed to set enough of a brooding exterior for yourself that you had to get really angry for people to notice.

So the dirty looks you'd been sending to one of the officers in the precinct you were working in weren't anywhere out of the ordinary. If anyone asked, you'd blame it on the atrocious haircut the man wore, and they'd believe you.

It wasn't his haircut, though. You were sure the overly volumized hairdo was in compensation for something miniscule, and it was definitely a problem. But the bigger problem came from the condescending scoffs the man let out whenever Spencer spoke. Or from the judgmentally astonished looks he threw his fellow officers whenever a particularly obscure fact was thrown out.

This was no different. Spencer was halfway through explaining how one of the letters they'd been sent by a killer had significantly different dialect included, indicating that you weren't looking for one person anymore, that you most likely had a team of criminals working together. Before he could finish his thought, the officer had huffed exasperatedly.

"I don't see why you think this matters, Mr...." The officer squinted at Spencer's badge grandiosely, putting on a show of not knowing his name, "Reid. What difference does it make what words he uses, the handwriting's the same. I dunno if you guys get paid more for catching more people, but I think we'd all appreciate it if you just stuck to the facts here, and didn't start picking these stupid letters apart like you're in a high school english class to try and make up more trouble than we actually have. They don't say anything, it's all just poetic nonsense."

There was a moment of tense, unforgiving silence, and you watched Spencer's lips twitch ever so slightly. A nervous tic. Then you spoke, your voice tinged with venom.

"Doctor."

The officer just looked confusedly at you, which seemed typical of the man.

"He's a doctor," You spat, "Address him as one."

"I don't think-"

"I know you don't. You know, I'm not surprised that you brought up high school english class, because I guarantee that's the last time you've ever thought critically about something in your entire life. And that was a while ago, wasn't it?"

"Y/L/N-," Rossi gently grabbed your arm, but you shook him off, paying little to no attention to the possible ramifications of your outburst.

"It seems very on-brand for you to say the words 'poetic nonsense.' You're the type of person to write off every single thing you're not able to comprehend as complete and utter nonsense, to make yourself feel smarter than you are, aren't you? But it's not working," You grabbed the letters Spencer had been analyzing off of the table and thrust them towards him, "Because for the first time in god knows how long, you've got someone competent in this room, and you're getting shown up. Spencer," You turned to him, finally breaking eye contact with the bristling officer, "Continue. Tell us what it means."

Spencer's hand shook slightly as he shuffled through the pages, and part of you felt bad for putting him on the spot after making such a scene. But if he wasn't going to stand up for himself, you were.

"This right here." Spencer pointed vigorously to a phrase he'd noted, "This is regional dialect. Southern Florida. That narrows our previous suspect pool, somewhere in the 600's, to about fifteen."

"The info on those fifteen suspects is being passed around now," Hotch's voice made your stomach twist uncomfortably, "Y/L/N, a word?"

You let your unit chief lead you away, into a hallway off of the room you'd just been in. His gaze was always stern, but it was just a hint worse now, and you prepared yourself for the lecture you had coming.

"You need to separate your thoughts from your feelings."

"Sir?"

"Everyone on the team knows that you're in love with him," He started, gesturing stiffly to Spencer through the glass door you stood beside, "But your actions cannot reflect that."

"That is not- I didn't... I'm not in love with him!"

"Don't start." Hotch held a hand out, effectively silencing you, "I'm not here to help you decipher your little crush, I'm here to make sure none of us get fired, and you're getting pretty damn close. Do you understand? Never again."

You never liked talked down to. You felt the same rage burn in your gut as you had when the officer was drawling on about Spencer, but the respect that you had for Hotch as your superior outweighed it enough to silence you. You bit your tongue, nodding tersely and averting your eyes to the dingy floor.

"And for fuck's sake," Hotch paused with a hand on the door, his vulgarity making your eyes widen a fraction, "Ask him out when we get back. I can't watch this anymore, you're both so oblivious."

He was gone without another word, ducking back into the conference room and ordering officers into groups. You stood stiffly in the hallway, heart pounding and head spinning as you tried processing all of the different, conflicting emotions you were experiencing.

Before you could calm yourself down enough to reenter the room, Spencer excused himself, slipping out into the hallway and frowning slightly at your dazed expression.

"He didn't... He didn't fire you, did he?"

"No," You shook your head, a sigh escaping your lips, "No, I just got lectured."

"I'm sorry," Spencer's voice was cautious, "If I had said something..."

"I'm glad you didn't." You crossed your arms over your chest, "Because then it would have been you on thin ice. You don't deserve that just for doing your job."

"You don't either," He mused, glancing sadly at you, "Are you sure nothing else happened? You seem tense."

"I'm okay," You urged, "Really. Just annoyed, I guess. But I'll get over it. Just gotta get back in there."

Spencer nodded, his signature tense grin on his lips as he tilted his head to the door, "You coming, then?"

"Yeah," You thanked him as he held the door open, but stayed behind the threshold for a moment, "Spencer?"

"Hm?"

"You're good at your job."

His smile deepened slightly, spreading up his cheeks, "Thanks, Y/N. And you're good at protecting people. I'm pretty sure I saw a tear or two in his eyes."

You scoffed lightheartedly at Spencer's teasing, gently bumping into him as you strode through the door, sending one last nasty glance to the officer you'd mouthed off to, seeing a satisfyingly pathetic expression on his face.

Even if you'd lost your job, you didn't think you'd have regretted standing up for Spencer. Nothing had been more important to you in that moment than keeping Spencer unscathed, and the knowing stares you got from the other members of your team were well worth it.

[maxiscoolongg]

"What! I cant do that!?"

💌; Chooch Bambalazi

Warnings: (Metion of; Drugs, Drinking, smoking,) yelling, y/n being trashmouthy

———

"Really! Drugs, drinking, and smoking!?" My dad yelled "Oh don't act like your all goody to shoes!" I yelled back at him "Your going around sleeping in other women's beds! And I'm worse then you!? You dickwad" I yelled grabbing my bag and walking to my cab that was taking me to military school. I have no clue why I'm going to boys school, it's stupid it's idiotic. I don't wanna be surrounded by men who smells like ass while I sleep! As I got there I instantly got stares but then a old guy started talking and I zoned out on all of it because I didn't give a shit at this point.

We had to shoot guns which was pretty fun. I saw two guys flip over and I chuckled. Then when we got our haircuts I saw I guy with a blad spot and me and this guy made eye contact then I turned around "nice haircut man" I said laughing then me and the guy who made eye contact ran away once it was our turns "What's your name?" I asked once we stopped running "you can call me ike. My full name is something else" he said as I shook his hand "y/n at your service." I said sarcastically

"Good to know y/n"

——

Then we got to our rooms. There was three boys infront of us following another guy who was leading us to our room "Where's the pool?" One asked "Yeah, smells like jock straps in here," the other said as I rolled my eye's placing my bag on a top bunk "What a dump" a guy with brown hair said "you mean there's no color TV?" One asked again "Can't believe I'm saying here for 7 months with you guys." I said rolling my eyes laying on the top bunk "Alright you barracks rats.. shape up and get your gear sorted, and he'll be in," the guy who leaded us said "May I asked who will be in mr" I asked confused "l-liceman" he said before walking away

"Whos liceman?" "Who cares" the brown haired guy said as I put my hand up "Me?" I asked as the guy scoffed "My names Oliver holt. I'm from Michigan" Olvier said as the brown haired boy said "That's not my fault" I chuckled then ike walked to Oliver "Eisenhower MacArthur" he said as I grinned "You were right that is a long name" I said in a mutter "Is that a history lesson or a name?" Oliver said shaking ikes hand and patting his shoulder, then ike walked over to a guy who talks fancy "Is your father in the army?" Mr.Fancy said "No he's a sadist, why do think he gave me this name? Just call me ike" Ike said to Mr.fancy "Hash" "No thanks maybe after dinner" ike said to him "No. My name is hash, it's easier to say then El Hashid Amier, Jr." Hash said as ike chuckled "its easy to smoke to" ike said jokingly as I chuckled

"Don't you think so?" Hash asked the browned haired guy who was sitting on the bottom bunk "I'm taking this top bunk. Anybody got objections?" The guy said as I made a confused face as he just ignored Hash "I didn't catch your name." "I didn't throw it" browned hair guy said. Hash chuckled sarcastically then dropping his smile "Hold on a second, don't you think since there's only three top bunks, why don't we draw straws, make it democratic" "Draw this" the brown haired guy said pointing the middle finger at Oliver. "Hey! Watch it no name" I said getting off my bunk and walking over to the brown haired guy staring up at him as we were inches apart hash put his arm inbeetwerm us "Hey, take it easy if we're going to be living together we got to try to get along" ike said

"Hey wait, let me tell you guys something we're not living together, see I'm by myself I don't wanna be here, I wanna do my work and get out." He said getting on the top bunk I rolled my eye's and went to my bunk and climbed on it as well "Here he comes!" The guy who leaded us to our room said as I sat up letting my feet dangling off the edge on the top bunk "Ten hut!" The guy who I assume lice man is said. They all got in a line expect for me liceman looked at me daggers "Get down from there girl." Liceman said as I rolled my eye's and got off standing beside Mr.no-name "Welcome gentleman and women, my name is Major Vaughn Liceman. And I'd like us to be friends. Weinberg can be very lonley place without friends, I know. I was 7 years old when i first came to the academy. I didn't have any friends, nobody liked me whose bunk is this?" Liceman said touching my bunk

"Mine" I said bitterly as he walked to me looking down at me "Don't you mean, 'Mine sir" I looked at him confused then looked at Mr.no-name and he shrugged as I rolled my eye's "Mine, sir?" I asked slightly confused "Say it again" "Mine sir." I said annoyed "Say it again!" "Mine sir!" I said even more annoyed he then started blabing about something that I don't care about, then he said something about not being friends which he walked out after talking about ripping hashs balls off. Ike walked to his bunk and I jumped on my top bunk, "He seemed nice right?" I said to them "Are you death or blind or just both" No name said to me "That guy did not want to be friends. "No shit." Me and Mr.no name said

[croszukis]

posting pwp before noon on a saturday just for @habsfic

kovy/arber — shower sex

Johnny’s heard the stories okay, about what goes on in NHL showers. He still hadn’t witnessed any of it himself yet, but he’d only played four games with Winnipeg before being put on waivers. So had he really been in the NHL?

When it was obvious he was going to be playing with the Habs, at least for now, he thought it was finally time. Especially with guys on the team like Cole, who seemed to love getting attention any way he could, or Savvy, a long time vet in the league. But there wasn’t anything, not even between Nick and Cole who he’d seen kiss on the team bus or with Slaf who had that youthful excitement and eager to please anyone kind of vibe about him. 

Johnny was a little disappointed, honestly. 

They were showering after a game and it was a good win at home, against the Avs too, and he thought if there was ever a time for some celebration it’d be now. He glanced around the room, trying to gauge everyone else, but they all stood at their own shower head, breezing through their routines like normal. 

“What are you looking at, Kovy?” Arber chirped from next to him. 

It made Johnny snap his eyes back to the wall in front of him, feeling caught out when he hadn’t really done anything wrong. There might not have been any of the action he was expecting, but nobody cared if you looked. 

“Nothing.” He shampooed his hair roughly, like he just remembered what he was actually supposed to be doing. “Just—I thought NHL showers were supposed to be a little more wild. Haven’t you heard the same?” 

Arber laughed, short and surprised, and Johnny turned to sneak a glance at him. Arber was looking back, facing him as the shower water pelted the side of his face. “Didn’t know you were into that.” That was all he said, still unmoving. 

Johnny closed his eyes as he rinsed out the shampoo, “Well, I dunno if I am. I was just curious to see if it was true, that’s all.” 

He heard Arber shut off his water and assumed he was done and walking away from this disaster of a conversation. But when Johnny opened his eyes again he saw that Arber hadn’t walked away at all. Instead he was getting down on his knees by Johnny’s side. 

“What are you doing?” Johnny peered down at him.

“Giving you your first NHL shower blowjob, obviously.” That made his dick perk up, already starting to get hard just at the promise of it. Arber grinned goofily up at him and it was hard to believe this was the same dude who grabbed two guys and yanked them out of scrums without any real effort at all. 

Johnny’s only response was shifting so his body was angled towards Arber. He jumped right in, mouthing at Johnny’s cock and teasing him into full hardness. One of Arber’s big hands rested on his flank, water still rushing around them. 

Finally, he took him into his mouth and Johnny hissed, overwhelmed by how hot and wet everything felt. It was kind of amazing to see Arber like this, weirdly vulnerable, and it gave Johnny a weird feeling of pride and tenderness in his chest. He brushed some of Arber’s hair (that stupid haircut Johnny wished he hated more than he actually did) out of his face as he bobbed smoothly on his cock. 

His eyes were closed and he looked serene, almost; totally at odds with the fact that they were in the middle of their team’s showers with most of their teammates still around. Johnny dug his fingers into the top of Arber’s shoulder, like he was anchoring himself to him. 

He wasn’t really capable of much actual thought, not with the way Arber was sucking him, but he told himself to find a way to thank Arber for this later. He was pretty sure Arber hadn’t had a NHL shower blowjob of his own, surely Johnny wouldn’t have missed that between the beginning of this season until now. He could do that. And find out what it felt like to be on the other side of it—the splashes of hot water on cooling skin and the harsh title under his knees.

Johnny was just curious. 

[your-divine-ribs]

I’m With the Band Part 3

Words: 2.5k

I’m With the Band Masterlist Main Masterlist

"Arabella..." Van says, stretching out my name almost like he's savouring the taste of it in his mouth. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I reply, enjoying the way that his eyes roam over my body as he speaks.

"Well... you've... you've... erm... changed..."

I fix Van with a slightly exasperated look. "Of course I have, it was ten years ago! I've grown up!"

He nods slowly, his eyes slipping down briefly to ogle my cleavage. "You can say that again!"

I bite back the grin that threatens to spring on to my lips, shaking my head like I’m mildly offended which of course I’m not. Whatever weird and wonderful magic mother nature has worked on Van's appearance during adolescence has transformed him. Unfortunately I suspect that his personality might still resemble that of the cocky twelve year old that I used to despise. The sort of vibes I’m getting from him now tell me that he still fancies himself.

"Well I barely recognised you either. It's good to see that you've got rid of the shit haircut. I swear you used to look like your mum put a bowl on your head and cut round it!"

"Cheeky fucker!" Van blurts out whilst Larry dissolves into fits of laughter, nudging his friend.

"She might look different but some things don't change, eh Van?"

"I was trying to be nice as well!" Van grumbles.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't think I can't remember how mean you used to be to me. You and Larry used to pick on me all the time. How do you know you didn't scar me for life with your stupid pranks?"

"You don't look too traumatised to me," he replies. "Anyway I can make it up to you now. How about I buy you a drink?"

"I'll have a gin and tonic," I say, fluttering my eyelashes at him. "A double."

"Coming right up!" Van gets up eagerly and makes for the bar and I smile to myself. I can't remember the last time I had to buy myself a drink when I was out. Men are so easy to manipulate.

I feel a sharp jab in my ribs and turn swiftly to see that Larry has scooted across to sit right next to me.

“What?" I hiss.

"Don't get any ideas!" He says under his breath, glaring at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I overheard my mum talking to your mum on the phone before you arrived. Something about how she needed to keep an eye on you. That you were going through a 'phase'."

"A phase?" I repeat, waiting for him to elaborate.

Larry shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "Well your mum says you've been... you know... seeing lots of guys..."

I can tell Larry's worried about offending me, which he isn't in the slightest, but I decide to have a bit of fun winding him up. I wrinkle up my face like he's really insulted me. "Are you calling me a slut?"

"No!" Larry's eyes are practically bulging out of his head. "Of course not! I just... it's just..."

He stutters over his words, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish out of water. I just shake my head.

"I can't believe I've only just got here and you're already being horrible to me. What would your mum say?"

He looks anxious at the thought of me causing trouble for him and he leans in, whispering to ensure that his friends can't hear. "I didn't mean that... I just don't want you shagging my mates, okay? They're out of bounds."

"Who says I'd be interested anyway?"

"Come on Bells! You were practically flashing Bondy earlier when you got out the shower! And that look on your face when you met the other guys. Benji's got a girlfriend ya know. Bob's practically engaged! And as for Van... don't bloody encourage him!"

"Did I hear my name being mentioned?" I look up to see that Van's back, a pint in one hand and a G&T in the other which he puts down on the table in front of me with a flourish.

"Oh, Larry was just telling me about the band, weren't you Larry?" I shoot Larry a fake sweet smile and he just scowls back at me, then I turn my attention fully to Van as he urges Larry to move up so that he can take the seat next to me again.

"So what d'ya wanna know then love?" Van flashes me a winning smile.

"So, Larry says you play the guitar..."

If I remember rightly, Van loves to talk. Just start him off on a subject he's passionate about and he won't shut up. It's really a matter of winding him up and watching him go. And if there's one thing I know about guys it's that they love to talk about themselves. It's a surefire way to stoke their egos and ensure part one of my plan to ensnare an unsuspecting partner. Mind you, Van's hardly unsuspecting. He's still finding it hard to keep his eyes on mine, but then I am practically falling out of my tiny dress.

"Yeah... but rhythm guitar. Bondy's actually lead guitar. He's a fucking legend, you should hear him play, it's mad!" Then he adds proudly, "I'm the singer too."

That figures. I can picture him up on a stage. He's always liked to be the centre of attention. Bet he thinks he's god's gift.... well, he really is rather attractive.

"Hope you've improved then," I tease him. "I remember going round to yours and you and your dad blasting out those godawful Van Morrison tunes and singing along. Sounded like someone was strangling a cat!"

"I've got the voice of an angel sweetheart. You just wait till ya hear me. You'll be throwing your knickers on the stage like the rest of the groupies!"

For fucks sake, he really hasn't changed. If anything he's got worse. I look at him totally unimpressed. "Groupies?"

Benji leans over at that point. "He's just having you on Arabella. It's not all sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll."

"Yeah, more like bloody tea, fags and that old bird Sheila from behind the bar in The Oak trying to touch you up backstage, eh Van?" Johnny chuckles.

"Fuck off!" Van cries. "I got two phone numbers when we played that gig in Manchester last week. The girls love it when I'm up there on the stage shaking my arse for 'em!"

"This I have got to see!" I laugh. "So when's your next gig?"

"The day after tomorrow. It's Manchester again. We've actually got a hotel booked. You're coming aren't ya?"

I look at Larry who shrugs. "Didn't think you wanted to hang around with your boring cousin?"

"Well... it'll be a laugh I suppose... and I've got nothing better to do."

I try to act nonchalant but really my belly is fizzing with excitement at the idea of spending more time with the band.  I look around at them. God, I really am spoilt for choice. But maybe I don't have to choose...

I glance over at Larry and he's deep in discussion with the lads now. I’ll just have to be careful. And Larry doesn't have to know a thing...

Larry decides that we should call it a night after I’ve consumed four more double gin and tonics, each one purchased by a different band member. I’ve spent most of the evening flirting my way around the table, trying to ignore Larry's disapproving looks.

"The night's still young Larry, come on mate, don't go home yet!" Van pipes up as Larry's trying to persuade me that we should both make a move.

"Yeah Larry, don't be bor-ing!" I say in a teasing tone, much to Van's delight.

"Look, Arabella wants to stay out, don't you love?"

"Uh-huh!" I nod enthusiastically, linking my arm through Van's, noting the smug kind of look on his face. Bet he thinks he's pulled already.

"So where are you taking me then Van?" I ask him, purposefully turning away from Larry's death stare which I can practically feel burning into me.

Van ignores Larry too. "Only the best for you babe. You can have a personal guided tour of Llandudno's finest nightspots, followed by a romantic meal for two..."

Benji snorts next to Van. "What? At the local chippy?"

"They're good chips, don't knock it!" Van protests.

Johnny shakes his head, chuckling. "You really know how to treat a lady!"

I smile sweetly, nudging Larry hard in the ribs as I hear him mutter something under his breath about me being far from a lady.

"Bells, seriously... I don't think it's a good idea. You're only gonna go and get shit-faced and god knows what you'll get up to. What's ya mam gonna say when she calls tomorrow to see how you're settling in and my mam's got to tell her that you didn't even come home!"

My mouth drops open. I’m used to my reputation preceding me, but I didn't bank on it following me all the way to North Wales.

"Where do you think I'll be staying then?" I challenge him.

Larry's gaze flicks straight to Van and then back to me but I can see him backing down. He's still terrified of offending me obviously. "Dunno..."

"Why don't you come too Larry, then you can keep an eye on Arabella?" Johnny's looking at him eagerly.

"So you're staying out too then Johnny?" I ask, even more keen to prolong my evening when he nods in answer.

"We should all go!" I announce, looking around at the lads one by one. Johnny and Van are nodding and Benji shrugs noncommittally. Maybe he won't be too hard to persuade. Bob's the only one who really doesn't look keen.

I leave Van's side and cross straight over to Bob, wobbling a little on my heels and falling into him. He instinctively reaches out his hands to steady me, instantly looking embarrassed. "Steady on!" He says quietly.

My god, he's adorable. He's the shyest band member by far but those little dimples that pop on his cheeks when he grins are to die for. I could imagine settling down with someone like Bob eventually once I’ve got all the partying out of my system. Not that that's going to be happening anytime soon!

"Bobby!" I say, fixing him with a look which he can't hold, shyly glancing down. "Please tell me you're gonna come with us."

"Errr... it's just Bob actually," he corrects me. "And I think I'm gonna have an early night to be honest. We're off on the road again not long after the Manchester gig and I'm making the most of seeing my girlfriend before we go. I'm spending the day with her tomorrow."

"Yeah me too," Benji chimes in. "Reckon I'll be off too."

I consider arguing but there doesn't seem like much point. These guys are obviously committed to their other halves. Well... they are now whilst they're at home. When they're stuck on a tour bus with no female company for a few weeks apart from yours truly they might start seeing things a bit differently...

"So... are we going then?" Johnny says, interrupting me from my wicked thoughts.

"Bells!" Larry says curtly, and I turn to him with the sulkiest pout that I can muster. "I really do think we should go home. You've had way too much to drink."

When did he get so serious?

"Oh my god! Larry's actually gone and turned into my dad!" I huff.

"Chill out mate," Van adds.

Larry sighs, draining his pint glass resignedly. "Well I guess it looks like I'm going too then..."

"I don't need a baby-sitter!" I call over my shoulder, and I link one arm through Van's and the other through Johnny's, satisfied to see them both beaming down on me. Well, this is cosy. I could get used to being sandwiched between the two of them... but maybe that's a thought for another day...

The club is just as uninspiring in reality as it looked online and I balk as we walk in, taking in the sticky stained carpet and dance floor full of no-hopers.

"Is there a VIP area?" I ask Van who immediately starts sniggering.

"You can take the girl out of Chelsea but you can't take the Chelsea out of the girl!" Johnny quips and I look up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... that's your stomping ground isn't it? Larry said so. I bet it's all posh champagne bars and table service isn't it?"

I wonder what else Larry's been saying but Johnny doesn't look like he's taking the piss. His smile's warm with no hint of taunting. Not like Van and Larry who don't seem to have grown up at all.

"There's nothing wrong with liking the finer things in life," I say, grimacing as I lean against the bar and put my arm in a horrid sticky patch. "Eww gross!" I exclaim, pulling away.

Johnny just chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "So what can I get you to drink?"

Before I can answer Van's appeared behind us, an arm across each of our shoulders, his head hanging between us both.

"Who's up for shots?"

Johnny pulls a face but says yes nevertheless. I hesitate. My head's already spinning and I know that me plus shots is always a disastrous combination.

But when was the last time I actually made a sensible decision? And why break the habit of a lifetime?

"Fuck it! I'm in!" I squeal, glancing at Larry whose eyes have rolled up to the heavens.

Van rubs his hands together with a gleeful expression. "Coming right up! Go and get us some seats Larry."

I trail after Larry who makes for the seating area slightly away from the hustle and bustle of the dance floor, and I wrinkle my nose in distaste as I take in the shabby, ripped upholstery in the booth. It really is a shit-hole in here, but I’m not going to let that stop me from having a good night.

"Move up Larry... I wanna sit next to Johnny," I say, pleased by the little smile that tugs the corners of Johnny's mouth up at my words.

Larry does as he's asked and I move around so I’m sitting close enough so my leg is flush next to Johnny's. He shifts a little, creating a small gap between us. The thought occurs to me that despite our six year age gap I appear to actually make him a little nervous. But that's okay... I like a challenge.

In contrast here comes Van, brandishing a tray of shot glasses, loud and brash as you like. "Fucking 'ell, look at all these. It's gonna be a good night, I can tell!"

"Sit here... sit next to me!" I take his attention, patting the empty seat on my other side. He doesn't need asking twice and he moves right up to me, leaving no gap at all.

You glance at both of the lads, smiling at each in turn. It's definitely going to be a good night...

[forevfangirlwrites]

this can be a prompt or even just a headcanon, but i was wondering what it would be like if the roles were reversed in hthf and haircuts? like percy gets a haircut, but he doesn’t mention it bc he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal and it ends up being pretty short bc he was tired of his hair getting in his face.

It’s not till he’s bent over the sink doing the dishes and his hair blocks his eyes that he realizes just how long it’s been since he last got a haircut.

Trying to swipe it away from his eyes with his upper arm does not work and his frustration leads him to wipe his hands and push it back.

As if it’s got a mind of its own, his hair flops back down over his eyes the second he goes back to the dishes. It’s like something out of a cartoon, but Percy finds nothing funny about it.

In fact, as soon as he’s done with the dishes, he makes the executive decision to get a haircut.

Pulling out his laptop, he starts to look up places that hopefully won’t cost a fortune. (Suddenly, he remembers why it’s been a long time.)

And as if to strengthen his decision, his hair, once again, flops over his eyes as he bends over his laptop.

Well…guess he’s going to have to spend a mini-fortune on this. After finding a place that seems reasonably priced (for LA anyway) he sets off.

On second thought, maybe he should put the money towards his car…when was the last time he got an oil change again? It’s one of those times he wishes he had a friend who was a car guy. Grover, of course, doesn’t have a car and neither Hazel or Calypso are really into them either.

(You would think after doing the amount of odd jobs in construction and whatnot that he’s done he’d have picked up something about cars but no, he remains ignorant to them as ever).

Maybe Frank would know?

Not that Frank is his friend, but he’s not not his friend…

Okay, so maybe he needs to get more friends.

He manages to get parking right in front of the place (it’s really a miracle) and steps inside the little barber shop. It’s one of the storefronts lining the hilly side street and pretty empty at this point in the afternoon.

“Hey!” what seems to be the lone worker calls out when the bell dings at his entrance.

“Hi,” he replies, suddenly a bit nervous. It’s just a haircut, he used to get them all the time.

“What can I do for you?”

“Um, I need a haircut,” he says, feeling exceedingly stupid.

“Sure thing, have a seat. I’m Chris, by the way.”

He shuffles to the barber seat Chris gestured to and sits down as Chris moves around him. “I’m Percy,” he says after what’s probably an awkward amount of a pause, realizing he hadn’t answered.

But Chris just rolls with it. “So Percy, what kind of haircut do you want?”

Percy’s mind blanks. What did he used to say when he got haircuts before? Has it really been that long?

“Um…just shorter, I guess?” And then to add some sort of clarification, “it keeps getting in my eyes and it’s annoying.”

Chris stands behind him, looking at him through the mirror. “So take some length of the sides and cut the top so it won’t reach your eyes? Or do you want an even shorter, almost buzzcut style?”

He’s almost tempted to say buzzcut style so he won’t have to get another haircut anytime soon, but he’s a little too aware of the fact that maybe his head is too weird for that.

KEEP READING ON AO3

A/N: Thank you for the prompt! Apparently the haircuts chapter was more popular than I anticipated lol I hope you liked how this one turned out! Thanks again!

[ironflowerflower2008]

The people asking for.... A fanfiction on this hot and handsome person

Zoro X reader

Warnings⚠️:- smut,breeding kink, tension feel by zoro, virgin, Virginial sex, sex slightly rushed I think, pregnancy 😝 and also a long part... (Cause I don't want to make second part)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"you stupid, stupid girl" helmeppo said angrily as y/n was behind him... She feels bad for the girl but didn't dare to say anything.

"why don't you watch where you're going?" Helmeppo crushed the cheese ball the girl has made.. her mother said to the girl to 'apologize'... "I'm... I'm sorry" y/n see the girl eyes tears up as she said sorry to him...

"hey don't cry" y/n sad softly and go near her and helmeppo rolled his eyes at y/n kindness and mockingly said "I'm so sorry. Next time I won't be nice and y/n why are being nice to that stupid girl?"

Y/n didn't care and hug the girl as girl hugged her back feeling comfort from y/n she break the hug and smile at the little girl and she heard someone a very deep voice... Zoro was looking at y/n and his heart skip a beat from her beauty but again look at helmeppo with glare

"you dropped my food" and he move you and the girl aside slightly and bend down to eat the meet helmeppo has crushed and eat it...

"it's really delicious" as the girl smiled at him he then get up and take the plate putting it on counter "now you eat one and apologize to the girl" it was a intense scene... Y/n see how much handsome he was and no doubt he was a swordsman seeing him carry three swords.

Helmeppo starters laughing and come closer to him "do you know who I am?" "Please don't start a fight right now" y/n said feeling scared by zoro aura "shut up! You work under my father I will give you orders not you give me orders"

Y/n look down feel embarrassed... Zoro eyed him up and down "A shithead marine with a bad haircut... Who doesn't know how to respect others"

Helmeppo get angry and take out his sword points at him and what shocked y/n he didn't even flinched "I wouldn't do that"

"Oh come on tough guy. Three swords?"[laughs at him] and look back at him "I only need one" that's when y/n realized he is none other than roronoa zoro "but it's gonna hurt"

Helmeppo attack him he didn't even take out his sword from his handle and in other second helmeppo was on ground .

All the marine attack him y/n slightly take the girl behind so she will not get hurt and she was scared that zoro will be killed by marine but no one even touched him as he was this good...

"how the hell he is so good.. wow how good he fights" and in next second the helmeppo was a scary cat...

He take the helmeppo to the base of marine and y/n go behind them... They all go to the meeting and y/n was scared as she was going to hell... And praying that may God save him...

And guess what he accepted the punishment what an idiot as he is...

*Tomorrow morning*

Helmeppo was teasing him... And y/n was away from them she looks away and go away... But she came back when she sees him like this he must be thirsty... she didn't care about if she will be in punishment or execute she go to give him some water....

"you are that girl why are you here? I am in punishment go away or I will kill you when I get out of here. you-" zoro was going to say something in her hand when he sees a glass of water in her hands.

"I-i b-b-bring this you must be thirsty sorry I couldn't bring the food as I don't eat food my self" zoro blushed and embarrassed at the same time...she look around no one and she goes near him and held the glass near his face he turn his face...

"please drink it" zoro looks back at y/n her beautiful e/c (eyes colour) eyes and the pleading in it "I can't drink my self" she then smile slightly nearing the glass and making him drink and they both hear a voice...

And it was a person that and sound come from- like a metal she quickly turn around and get away from zoro and see a straw hat "oh hey, you are the guy with three swords and you are the girl that hug that little crying girl?" Y/n nodded slowly and sigh that it was someone else not a marine

"get lost" zoro said rolling his eyes "yeah i will after I found my treasure I want to get inside the base so you can give me the keys?" y/n looks at him and chuckle.

"hey,I saw the way you fight. how did they even arrest you?" The straw hat looks at zoro asking him the question... Zoro smirk "they didn't. I give myself to them"

"interesting choice " y/n laugh at it zoro look at her glaring but his eyes soften at her laughing face and then again glare at straw hat "I am sure you had a reason" "you don't know anything about me" his deep voice y/n was feeling something in her stomach from his deep voice like what people say butterfly in stomach...

"You were protecting the little girl I know you aren't a bad guy" y/n looks at him "yeah he is not a bad person..." Straw hat looks at her " you both join my crew" y/n look at him her dream of becoming a pirate but looks down...

"I can't" straw hat looks at her "why not!?" "I am sold to them at a very young age and I will serve them until end" "oh but still you can and you should just free yourself from them" straw hat come near and open the rope of zoro.

"Even if you open I will not join your crew" he them open the rope and go away near that metal "close it y/n for me please" as he hop inside that hole... Zoro looks at you and then back at that hole

"Who is he?" Y/n shrugged her shoulder

*time skip to they got on a ship*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•••••••~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n run to them "wait I will come with you" straw hat smile brightly... He lost koby to his dream and now he gain a crew mate....

"so your name is y/n l/n" y/n look surprisingly at zoro cause only some people know her last name. Nami look at the shy girl...

"h-h-how did you know that?" He smirk "I read it on something" "oh" she look down and smile. Zoro was feeling tension between them or him to her... He was looking at her neck he never ever got this type of feeling... Until nami shake him lightly "you are literally staring in her soul" y/n chuckle at that comment.

He was feeling so much tension right now... But he waited until everyone was asleep

* first night* (still the buggy clown hasn't found them right now)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~••••••~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was cold as she was outside feeling that she might fulfill her dream of becoming a pirate.

"why are you awake?" Zoro asked y/n turn around to see him "I-I couldn't sleep... By the happiness of being free..." Y/n turn around and look back to the sea....

As she was looking at the sea. He comes closer to her "you are feeling cold aren't you?" He came more closer until he was touching your back. "You don't have your swords?..." Zoro chuckle "I will not sleep with them"

He came closer to your ear "you are so beautiful... You know y/n... I want you so badly" as he kissed her back of the neck. Giving her butterfly kisses

"Z-Z-Zoro~" y/n couldn't contain as his hand go from her hips to her shoulder he turn her around "w-what if someone wake up?" "They both don't sleep inside and they are sleeping thier so come I have to speak something"

As they both go inside. Zoro locked the door and a curtain to a circle window"I know I have just meet you few days ago but I don't think I can contain my self anymore"

Y/n looks at him and meet his eyes and make contact like a Solid contact as he smashed his lips on her and he slightly his hand roam around her body and then go to open her rope belt revealing her shirt inside... "You can open mine if you want"

He takes y/n hand to put on his shoulder "you have never done it before don't you?" Y/n shake her head... He smiled and kissed her again opening her shirt button.

And layed her on the bed with her bra on... And her pant ... He give hickeys on her neck then go to her breast taking her bra off to reveal her tits he suck on them.

Hearing beautiful sounds from her mouth "say my name y/n.... Say it" "AHH zoro~~" as he suck more on her... He go down to stomach then take her slowly pulling her pants down along with her panties....

"wow you are beautiful" y/n blushed as he suck her not wanting to stop any time sooner "Ahh~ S-S-Stop ahh~"

He then go up and kissed her lips taking his clothes of himself and then positioned himself on her and look in her eyes straight. "It will hurt but it will be better every time" as he slowly enter her... Y/n eyes become painful... He was trying to be as gentle as he can...

"I-i-its h-hurting b-badly" he put his forehead touching her forehead and y/n put her hands on his shoulder "it will feel good I promise" he fully enter her finally and wipe her tears from eyes from the pain and let her adjust "ah fuck you are so tight"

"ah fuck y/n" he was already out of breath and he didn't did anything yet... He started to move slowly. Y/n dig her nails on his back.

"agh y/n" as he started to move fastly "please more faster" he started to move faster "I-I am already close" zoro said without breath

"I-I can't" y/n said feeling something building inside her and she finally release herself that was building in her stomach"ugh y/n" as he also released himself as y/n feel something warm inside her lower stomach....

He collapsed on her body breathing heavily. Y/n smiled at him he get up and smile at her and wink at her "you should sleep... My cutie"

She smiled at him and they both go to sleep...

*3 weeks later*

(they have a new crew mate usopp and they have a very beautiful goat ship... And also marine attack has happened)

Y/n was currently washing dishes didn't know what to do... She was not getting periods her periods are 1 week late... A bone came she was throwing the bone and by the smell of bone she started to gag as she was getting vomit.... She run towards washroom

Zoro and nami noticed it as they both were sitting on the couch. Zoro and nami both become worried for her... "Zoro you should go and check on her" zoro look at nami and rolled her eyes but go to check on her.

"Hey y/n what has happened to you?" As he sees y/n walk out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth. He came close and hug her "are you okay?" "Yeah I think it's because of fog and seeing sea water for few days" zoro break the hug and smiled and kiss her lips passionately.

He broke the kiss and smile at her "let's go you should take some air oh right there is fog right now" they hearted Luffy yelling he found a food place.

They both go out of the room "we are going to eat in here" usopp question "yes" as they all got of the ship to the place... Y/n body was getting weaker and she was also getting Slimer and slimer which is not because she is not eating anything for past few days and that was making everyone worried about her health.

Y/n look down how to jump of the ship as it was still high for her and not for crew mate suddenly she was taken in tight arms which belongs to zoro. He land her savely on the ground.

All there friends look at them with teasing smile. Zoro and y/n hasn't tell there relationship to them... They will in future maybe...

"what you guys will order?" As they all sit on the table the reserve... Zoro sit at the end of the table ,y/n also sit on otherside end of the table... After a few moments a waiter kinda handsome came...

After they eat... Luffy was taken to wash the dishes so y/n go to help him with it as they knew it was his punishment but still she love to help her friends.

"you don't have to help me you know y/n" y/n smiled at Luffy "but still I will they are lot" as in the kitchen everyone left only a chief stayed "you know you should pay and not get in trouble" Luffy look at him...

"Luffy I think dishes are finished you can talk with him bye and mister can you tell me where is the library?"

"oh Library yeah when you will left this room go straight and turn right what book do you need btw?" Y/n look at him and Luffy also looks at y/n "o-oh I need a disease of something like that book"

"I have read that book many times and I know every page of it and you must be thinking why I have read that book is because I am a handsome man I can get sick and die so you know and you are really beautiful so tell me I will tell you in detail not let you die"

Y/n blushed at his compliment... Luffy smile at y/n and said "I am going to wash more dishes ugh" sanji give her the hand gesture to come sit next to him.

"so beautiful girl tell me your problem I am hero to rescue you" y/n looks at him and bit her lips from nervousness "I-I am feeling dizzy and sick almost everyday,always feeling sick and kinda vomiting every single day a-and..."

Sanji look at him and slowly nodded and knew he doesn't have any chance with this girl "you are pregnant" y/n eyes widen at that sentence.

"w-what!!?" Y/n said full shock "yep the symptoms are matching with pregnancy symptoms and also you were going to tell me you didn't get your periods I know you are pregnant" y/n get scared...

She quickly get up and go to find zoro it is a really bad thing maybe she will go back and stay with Kanye while in pregnancy because now she sure he wouldn't like something about that he is not even her friend.

Y/n couldn't find him and she accidentally bump into someone which shouldn't. The man turn to her and grab her hand very badly and push her to the wall "watch where you go"

Y/n see that he was her soul like left her that moment 'Dracule mihawk' she gulp "oh I have seen you before somewhere else" "p-p-please sir I want to go and tell someone please leave me I beg you" mihawk rolled his eyes and lose the grip on her

"watch where you go next time" y/m nodded and run and find him drinking beer she was really nervous Hella nervous "I-I want to talk about something zoro" as usopp bring that mihawk again

"have you seen a straw hat guy name monkey D Luffy?" Nami and zoro stand up "Dracule mihawk it's a pleasure to meet you... I have always followed you a very great swordsman... I wanna have a battle with you if I win I will be great swordsman"

Y/n look shockingly at him with wide eyes 'what is he thinking? To die' Dracule look at him " I will fulfill that little dream of you zoro roronoa" he go away.

"are you idiot!!!" Both y/n and nami said at same time. Nami run to get Luffy to stop zoro from fighting mihawk and apologize.

*Tomorrow morning*

Y/n still didn't tell him anything about being pregnant... "Are you idiot go and apologize to him... Luffy say something!" Luffy look at y/n "I am sorry but I will not get between his dream"

*the time skip to zoro laying on the bed nami has left them*

Y/n was crying silently praying he will wake up she just wanted that... She take his hand and grab it. "I love you zoro please don't leave me in this world I-I have never loved anyone like you... I will die inside if you leave me " she put zoro hand on her forehead. As Luffy and usopp came in the room.

Zoro slowly opens his eyes. Y/n look at him with her puffy red eyes from crying "I am going to be your first crew mate" "so are we going to find one piece?" Usopp questioned. Luffy smiled "yes we are but first let's bring back nami"

Sanji also came with us and become our crew mate.... Sanji and y/n become close and zoro was always jealous of it but he have to keep it inside him he is calm ...

And he sees sanji and y/n laughing zoro eyes twitched at it "okay bye y/n I am leaving to sleep" sanji then turn around to see zoro he gestured him to come and sit in his place and he left...

"you and sanji has become close... Will you leave me?" Y/n look at zoro and chuckle "you are finding it funny?" "Why would I leave my handsome and my loving person maybe sanji is handsome too, funny and very caring but he is not the one I love and he is not the father of the child I am carrying"

Zoro look with wide eyes "y-y-you are pregnant!!?" Y/m nodded he grab her by waist and get up to spin her around then put her down to kiss her lips....

[purplerose244]

Recipe for a Smile

Hello! This is my entry for the Ninjago Secret Santa! 🥰 Thank you @kokosnuss-jaguar as always for hosting the event!

My gift is for @sensei-twinkles! I hope you like my present, I had lots of fun working with Kai, Lloyd and Morro! ❤💚🖤 Also I went with my guts for your OC, Kael, a really cool and interesting one! I just wanted to let him have some fun between these clowns 😂

Have an amazing holiday, and enjoy! 😚😚

So, this was his nightmare.

His underworld, his agony, his lifelong fear that for so long he had fought against in order not to make it come true, and whatever further philosophical term Kael was struggling to come up with at the moment, while squinting his eyes at the brightest Christmas lights he had ever seen that were so incredibly unfitting for the place. It was pure suffering for him, and the more his eyes went over the complex decorations all over the kitchen, the more the exit of this fine building was calling to him. He could make it. He could totally make it in a sprint, taking advantage of the general confusion and excitement over the festivities.

Then it hit him where he was: the monastery of sensei Wu. Then it hit him why he was here: because his apartment had caught fire after an idiot had thought of a cool trick for Christmas – Kael was gonna show him a good trick, now you got a hand now you don’t. Then it hit him with who he was here: the elemental masters and their descendants, power beings all reunited for the party with an invite ready for him like his contempt for them all wasn’t emanating like an aura.

A land of blinding corny decorations, in a place of peace where he was supposed to stay the night out of his will – turned out it was hard to rent a place or a room when you got a robot arm and look like a bounty hunter, thanks Ronin –, surrounded by elementals he disliked and that prevented his escape – well no he could take them, totally… but why though he was on winter break.

So, therefore, this was his nightmare.

His interior monologue about misery was interrupted with the sound of the fridge closing abruptly. Right, currently the kitchen was the least crowded place of the monastery. Unfortunately, the master of fire was currently working on whatever dessert, therefore messing with his solitude. Him pouring hot chocolates into mugs was especially noisy.

“Okay, I gotta ask, even though I think I know the answer already.” He even dared talking to him, this was officially Kael’s worst day ever. “Would it kill you not to frown?”

It was a trap. It was gonna make him look so very stupid.

His displeasure devoured all common sense and Kael crossed his arms.

“Yes.”

Ah, the cringe, it was like a self-punishment.

“Ah, knew it.” Curse this guy, curse that stupid haircut going all up, curse him being red every day of the year despite it not being Christmas, curse him offering a warm cup of cocoa on a cold winter day – okay Kael needed to take a deep breath. “Well to be honest with you, I don’t think you’re the grumpiest we got at the moment.” Kai huffed. “At least you’re not actively observing everything in here while making sarcastic remarks about a certain someone.”

“Well well well Lloyd, I didn’t think you would actually pick star-shaped cookie cutters.” Right on cue two more masters emerged from the door. A very pissed off looking blondie with a dark-haired ghost floating in mid-air. The moment Morro got in a breeze erupted into the kitchen, shaking the decorations and all the bells around. “Must be for being the star into everyone’s eyes, their champion, their guide, even with all the pressure coming with it pushing down and down on you. A thoughtful choice, I must say.” With a gust of air, the master of wind pushed himself a little over the green ninja’s shoulder, smirking as widely as he could.

Lloyd rolled his eyes, put the cutters onto the counter Kai was preparing that weird cookie mixture on, and turned to face the floating entity.

“Okay, first, you do know this pisses me off more than breaking me inside?”

“I’m aware, I take all I can get.”

“Very well. Second, I didn’t pick night stars.” He took one without turning around, grinning much more than his opponent. “I picked starfishes.” Morro blinked, confused as they clearly were not- “Oh wait, sorry you’re right, I got confused. You see we went to the beach the other day, lots of sun, the beach… water… how about you come next time, we’re gonna have fun!”

Morro’s delighted mocking fell apart and he resorted to glare again.

“I believe sensei Wu asked you to avoid such attacks on my persona.”

“I believe my uncle asked you to do the same thing.”

“Well I believe my dad also asked you to…!” Alright, Kael wasn’t the most embarrassed out of all the people in the room anymore, there was no way the massive green blush wasn’t going to be visible miles away. “I mean my master! My d- dear master! No not dear! I mean…! STOP LAUGHING YOU FOOL!” Honestly there were green neon lights in the New – how many times new now? – Ninjago City that couldn’t get even close to such a bright.

Maybe this wasn’t a nightmare, solely because the night-time anguish and the despair usually didn’t come along the bafflement Kael was feeling right now. That was the only word he could describe the sensation of being in a kitchen with a bashful ghost screaming at a ninja rolling on the floor.

The red one was laughing out loud as well, pouring that mixture from the bowl to the counter.

“Don’t be like that Morro, you’re probably entitled to call him that more than anyone! And speaking of, that kinda just makes you closer to us all!”

The ghost made such a sudden disgusted face Kael almost let out a dangerous chuckle.

“What horrifying sentence have you just spoken to me, ninja?”

“Dude you’re not a villain anymore and I know you know my name, use it.” Now the ghost was pouting. Seriously, what kind of weird black matter inducing dream Kael was currently living in and how could he wake up in his beat-up burnt to a crisp apartment? “Anyway, calling Wu dad is basically an old monastery tradition, you didn’t really experience life here until you completely humiliated yourself and everyone laughed at you.” Kai snickered, pulling his sleeves up and stuffing his hand onto the dough. “Wanna know who was the first one who called him-”

“You?”

“You.”

“You.” Alright this time Kael answered out of reflex and didn’t even regret it, considering the look of absolute indignation and how the red one had turned around specifically to glare at him. “What? You seem prone to such embarrassing situations.”

“Am not!”

“He so is.”

“Lloyd!”

“What?? You are!” This hallucination was degenerating considering that now the green ninja was chuckling without restrain while the red was trying to shoulder him without taking off his hands from the mixture. “Did you forget your roller-skates performance at the Ninja Roll? Ouch! And the whole Skylor situation? Ouch! That’s without considering how absolutely eager you were of being the green ninja, you even tried the gi while doing catchphrases! Ouch ahahah!”

“You were kidnapped by the Serpentines back then, how do you even know??”

“You guys are like a bunch of old ladies that love to gossip! Although yours is not as juicy as the stuff Nya got from being samurai undercover. All I’m gonna say is venomari and Santa…”

“LLOYD!!”

When the red one gave up on the preparation and attacked those blonde hair, causing the boy to gasp and respond to the attack like a kid, Kael found himself wondering how in the world were these the saviours of Ninjago and how exactly were they all not extinct yet. At the moment his best bet was that most villains were taken off guard by the amount of chaos this specific group of warriors was able to display, and the rest was done out of sheer luck, determination and ultimate magical power of whatever – NG News were actually kinda repetitive after a while.

On second thought, in all honesty, it wasn’t even that bad of a strategy. On second thought, in all honesty, the green saviour was getting cookie mixture all over his hair by the red ninja so all possible logic was for nothing.

It should had been annoying how little of the situation Kael was finding unpleasant, but he was sure it had to do with how these people behaved. It was all too easy to remember how individuals like Paleman and Turner were unequivocally masters and that was enough to make him want to roll his eye to the back of his head. His dislike for elementals could never soften with them.

Yet these guys were… normal? That wasn’t the right term, but without the gi and away from the battlefield it made it simple not to think of them as the descendants of those individuals.

He wasn’t going to lower his guard regardless, though. He was smarter than that.

No way to catch him vulnerable.

“You do know they’re not gonna attack you, right?”

Ah, the moody ghost was talking to him. With Morro it was a whole other story altogether actually, because separating him from his master of wind persona was nearly impossible. Yet the tragedy of his past and his choices was stuck on him forever, and Kael could relate with that.

Again, it didn���t mean he wasn’t ready to strike, deepstone daggers weren’t that hard to find. Yet it did make him shiver looking at him, almost to the point of awakening ghost pains in his body.

Kael huffed, crossing his arms. They clinked when they collided.

“How am I supposed to know that? It could be all a setup.”

“Does the ninja with the hair shaped like chocolate ice cream strikes you as the cool mischievous type?” Ah, another dangerous risk of letting out a chuckle, it was getting more and more pressing. Morro grinned a little. “Relax, master of manipulation, the reason you’re here is the same obnoxious and honestly ridiculous one we’re all here for, no cover needed: to celebrate this stupidly cheerful day in company.” The ghost snickered evilly at the fight still happening, although there was a weird endearment into his transparent eyes. “The sooner you come at peace with it, the more the chance to calm down.”

Peculiar. It wasn’t like Kael was interested in an elemental master in the specific, but he was under the impression that one like Morro would have been much more reluctant to participate to such a party. It was suspicious, obviously… but intriguing too.

Kael frowned, while the two litigants finally stopped messing each other’s hairs.

“How are you entitled to give me the speech about trust?”

“Oh, I don’t trust them. In fact, I pretty much hate their guts.” That matter-of-fact tone actually managed to catch him off guard. Morro shrugged. “But you don’t have to like someone to have a peaceful day. If you stop to think for a moment, you might even find some points in common with those so called ‘enemies’.” With a simple gesture a small piece of the mixture detached from the dough, unbeknownst to the two idiots catching their breath.

This conversation was so out of nowhere, going towards unknown territory, that Kael would have pinched his hand – wasn’t for… you know… not having a fleshed one.

“The adept of the Preeminent? In common with the saviours of Ninjago?”

“Mhm.” Morro nodded while tasting the agglomerate, apparently both in affirmation and to confirm the flavour of the thing, right as Kai was back to it to knead it. “You can never tell when you’re on opposite site, in the good or the bad you’re too focused on a goal to even think about who you’re really fighting. But after that ends… well…” He hesitated for a moment, looking straight at the red ninja. “You got time. Even too much, in my case. And these ninja are annoying, but not uninteresting, and they got quite the number of familiar sounding stories.”

Alright, now this was shifting from confusing to impossible. Kael huffed.

“Sure, you’re totally like them. Let me guess, you and your cousin are one and the same!”

“Wouldn’t call us that, but…” No way to hide his shocked face, even with all his willpower. Morro huffed. “Don’t get weird ideas, we discovered stuff only because Wu wants us to. If you try not to hate each other, you talk about anything and everything else. And… he was alone as a kid, before he was taken by his uncle and the ninja. All alone against the world.”

Kael clenched a fist, to avoid letting a shiver taking over his body. A ghost couldn’t read minds, right? He couldn’t know how much that line resonated with him. It was easier to understand his unsettlement though. Knowing you have something in common with the disliked, it was strange.

He looked at Lloyd. A beacon of hope, a hero of this world, passing the cookie cutter to his teammate with a smile. How many still connected him to his dark past and his darker father?

“That’s… something.” He cleared his voice. “Must be comforting or something.”

“Watching him pisses me off, actually.”

Alright, the ghost had actually managed to earn a snicker from Kael this time – his stomach was hurting from holding it in anyway.

“Ah, what a surprise.”

Morro turned to the boy as well. He pressed his lips together.

“Not for the reasons you might think, though. Or not for the ones I thought before.” It felt like the images of the two ninja was getting further away, and suddenly the master of the wind’s gaze was shifting to the red one. “As I said, some of the stuff they told me rang a bell… like a guy so incredibly obsessed with the green gi, so convinced it was going to happen, that he was ready to leave everything behind.” His eyes narrowed. “Not knowing he was running like a madman towards his very demise.” His body seemed to gain consistency for a moment, like a human shiver.

Kael’s lips parted, as he followed his eyes. In the ghost’s words, it was clear he was talking about his own personal story. Yet in his attitude, his gesture, he was pointing at someone else completely and it was hard for him to put such different figures in comparison. Even so, Lloyd mentioned something about Kai wearing green. He was prideful, aggressive.

It didn’t make sense, and it made perfect sense.

“… why does the green one bother you?”

Morro laughed bitterly.

“Apparently, as usual, he’s the one that made all the difference, especially between two obsessed people. One of us perished while trying to prove himself with no one around, the other was reborn through a new sense of duty, and I doubt it’s hard for you to image who’s who.” He breathed, like he needed it, like it felt better now. “On one side, it’s maddening how being born at a different time might have made the difference between like and death. On the other, I know it’s not nearly as easy and that perhaps it was that stupid destiny again.” Surprisingly he laughed, again, heartedly this time. “Maybe I’m not pissed at him. Maybe I’m jealous. He’s special and didn’t ask for it.”

Another contraction of his body prevented Kael from letting out more than what he wanted. He didn’t ask for this after basically being evicted for the week from his house, why all the unfairly and uncomfortably relatable talk?

He groaned.

“What a delightful conversation, now I’m sure swelling up with the spirit of the holiday.”

“Why so gloomy, gloomer?”

“Seriously?” Ah, and now the ghost was smiling. Perhaps being naturally lunatic was a trait of his… species? – what were labels even. “Isn’t this just a reminder of your failure?”

“Most days. But in some rare and vey recent ones, honestly…” Morro made another gesture, this time towards the oven, turning one of the buttons around. He looked serene, even. “It’s kinda nice seeing another dimension taking place. Like the path of rage that brought you to your end isn’t the only one, and all there needs to be is the courage to change.” The corner of his mouth went up after that, like he was incredibly smug for coming up with that line.

Maybe he didn’t even realize that the most shocking part of it all for Kael was how this was the closest to a compliment this ghost had ever given, in his humble opinion. And it was, while fairly indirectly, directed towards probably the clumsiest of the ninja team. Yet the fact that something similar to respect came from him, it meant it was genuine.

Right as that thought brushed him, Kai turned to them and chuckled.

“Aww, grumpy one and two are becoming friends! So you guys can do something other that glare, now how about that!”

Never mind the respect, never mind the existential talk, never mind even wondering for an instant if this guy was worth admiring, now Kael wanted to charge at his stomach while running towards the closest exit. Again, why were these the heroes of them all?

Somehow Morro didn’t look even remotely touched.

“Something is better than nothing, ninja.”

“Still on that? Seriously Morro, you’re basically Wu’s son even without the whole dad fiasco, you really don’t have to put up the façade!” No way of telling if this guy was being clueless of his death wish or genuinely thought he wasn’t risking battle of Stiix number two. So far he looked more focused on reaching the oven. “Fighting on opposite sides develops a special bond, you know? I’ve seen you at your worst, you’ve seen me at my absolute best, that kind of things.” He opened the oven and went to grab the tray… wait. “Wouldn’t surprise me if you admired me because of- AAAHHH WHY IS THE OVEN PREHEATED ALREADY?!?”

Ah, that was the reason behind the serenity. Or perhaps the ghost just wanted to admire the master of fire lamenting a burn… relatable.

The master of wind smirked.

“You’re right, I’ve yet seen your worse. You reach new lows every time.”

“YOU JERK THAT HURTS- LLOYD STOP LAUGHING!!”

“How am I… supposed to…” The green ninja was literally holding onto the counter not to fall onto the ground once again, and perhaps for the first time since he had arrived Kael saw Morro smiling at his cousin. “How do you keep forgetting to focus? You’re heatproof when you concentrate but you just forget, just like when you were with Skylor!”

“YOU WEREN’T THERE THAT TIME TOO!”

“You were screaming that loud.”

“LLOYD!!!!”

This was too much. Kael had done his very best and while some of his feelings might have shown, never to an absolute extent. Yet now, seeing this massive déjà-vu resurfacing for no reason at all. Now, with the red one literally tackling the green one on sight with the most merciless tickle attack ever seen to man. Now, with the ghost casually pulling out the tray and closing the oven back again, there was no way to contain himself.

He laughed. Never as a full burst, covering his mouth, hoping no one was going to notice, but he did. What clownery was this? What did he get himself into? Was he really thinking that despite the place, despite the elementals, this wasn’t all that bad?

The fight lasted much less time – if Kai’s hair were crazy before look at him now. A moment later, they were all over the counter, putting the now well-cut cookies onto the tray.

There were stars, snowflakes, trees, and men. The last was to be expected.

Kai carefully put them next to each other with a smile.

“This year we got a lot of guests, but I think we get to make one personalized gingerbread man for person.” It looked like Lloyd was about to speak up – possibly another wandering towards old embarrassing stories? – but Kai promptly elbowed him. “You’re on thin ice, green ninja, I suggest you to zip it unless you want to give up on cookie rights.” Blondie obeyed, despite the smile still being strong on his face. “You got a cookie too Kael, you wanna decorate it yourself later? Maybe you’re not comfortable with someone repainting your face, I don’t know.”

Why did that sound thoughtful and condescending at the same time? Whatever, he was honestly a bit busy with whatever feeling of inclusion he was experiencing at the moment. Huh. Without the finishing touch they all looked the same. How weird.

… alright enough existentialism for tonight.

Morro huffed – maybe he was forced to by his element.

“Decorating cookies is such a hassle, I’ll give up mine happily.”

“Is it because you suck at it, or the idea of covering your cookie in water icing scares you?” Ah, the battle of the greens was still at it. The glare contest had commenced once again.

“Alright, alright, enough you two!” Kai put the tray into the oven – no repercussions, yoohoo improvements –, turned around and went over the stove. He poured a second round of hot chocolate for them all and carefully carried them in one go to give them to them. He raised his own mug. “I’m guessing a toast would be too corny for you two.” He looked at Kael and Morro, who simply shrugged. “Well then.” He turned to Lloyd with a grin. “Merry Christmas, my annoying brother.”

The green ninja blinked, laughed, then made their mugs clink together.

“Merry Christmas, my sometimes heatproof brother.”

“Still resent that, watch out.” Kai smiled, then went over Morro with a smirk. “Merry Christmas, my extremely grumpy friend.” Perhaps he did want death after all.

The master of wind seemed fortunately amused enough, imitating his cousin.

“Merry Christmas, my very cringe friend.”

“You did not just cringe call me.”

“Your whole life is a cringe call, Kai.”

“And you use my name now?? Watch your back of New Year’s party, I’ll get my revenge!” What was this clown even talking about? Kael didn’t know. Honestly, he didn’t particularly care either. Thinking too much with these people felt like getting dumber. “Well then…” Kai faced him at last, winking at him. “Merry Christmas, my paranoid guest.”

Kael should have expected from the start that this was never going to be something predictable, but maybe going beyond his comprehension was the reason why he was feeling less on the edge. Maybe he could take a moment to see what it was like.

Kael smiled, mugs colliding.

“Merry Christmas… you embarrassing fool.”

“What the- KAEL!!!!!”

[haroldsnuggets]

Harold: Leshawna, keep an eye on Heather today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Leshawna: Sure, I’d love to see Heather get punched. Harold: Try again. Leshawna, sighing: I will stop Heather from getting punched. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Leshawna: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Harold: Yes! Heather: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Leshawna: Wasn't Heather with you? Heather: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold, texting Leshawna: Leshawna! Help I’m being kidnapped Heather: Where are you? Harold: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Leshawna: I’ll call Heather. Heather, answering their cell: Y’ello? Leshawna: Where’s Harold? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Heather: Harold? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Heather: Heather: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* Heather: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Harold: WHO ARE YOU?! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Leshawna: *turning to Heather* How tall are you? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: They stole from me first! Leshawna: Mhm. Harold: Stole my heart... Heather: It is still illegal to commit murder. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Heather: Just rip the bandage off. Harold: It’s Leshawna. Heather: Put the bandage back on. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *The squad is having dinner together* Harold: Leshawna, can you pass the salt? Leshawna: *Throws Heather across the table* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harold: If Leshawna and I were drowning, who would you save? Heather: You two can’t swim? Leshawna: It’s a hypothetical question, Heather! who would you save? Heather: my time and effort. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Store Worker: Would a Mr. McGrady please come to the front desk? Harold, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Leshawna and Heather Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Leshawna and Heather, simultaneously: We got lost :( Harold: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heather: Hey, Harold? Can I get some dating advice? Harold: Just because I’m with Leshawna doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

[wrestlezon]

liveblog containment zone for aew rampage 5/20/22

starting with house of black vs dark order + fuego... i like the dark order. i also like watching the dark order wrestle i love it when wrestlers steal each others special moves. calling out pentagon jr like this... oof what a lariat tombstone... :O rip house of black

lmfao oh no i did not see the dark elevation! bowens!! your leg??? i love New Son Max Caster. i love the rapport between the gunn club and the acclaimed. its good

ftr please tell me youre gonna agree to fight roppongi vice yay!!! confirmed for fight!! none respect for rocky and trent... mean to them... u_u

shawn spears has such a cool intro... i just wish he had a different haircut. his muscles look very good. nice body. im objectifying men right now sorry

i think the undisputed elite are funny villain guys. i'll be patiently waiting for omega's return, whenever that may occur in the distant future

my friend asked me to pause for this screenshot. kyle. please

dark statlander vs heel velvet!!! i think statlander is cool. i miss the goofy element because in my heart of hearts im a fan of goofs but i understand. i understand. i know hirsch pushed her to the darkness and that hirsch's injury kinda brought that whole feud to a dead stop but i wish there was more. jesus lord she held up velvet with one arm. so strong... red velvet using her a stepstool to get back in the ring... Cool while i would normally say you shouldnt pit two bad bitches up against each other i will make an exception here. cool fight

bruh rampage commercial jumpscare got me yet again. right in the middle of velvet's rope leg attacks velvet yelling at statlander calling her a stupid alien?? im taking these scraps and holding them so close to my heart. statlander alien gimmick real yaaaay statlander won!! oh no! enemy beatdowns!!! yay!!! ruby and anna jay!! oh!!!!! i forgot ruby and kris are up against each other at the owens... drama....

i love training montages and i especially love everything thats going on in here between tony nese and mark sterling and danhausen and hook

dan lambert alert... i wish scorpio sky and ethan page were fighting instead of more sammy but ok nevermind this sledgehammer bit is funny i guess. im glad reservoir dogs kazarian is here

this bit made me laugh out loud btw and if im laughing then that justifies it. i love being amused by entertainment and im glad dan lambert didnt say misogyny words

matt sydal!! im glad hes back. he does flips and is a bit of a weirdo and i love flips and weirdos

did they announce that hangman page vs cm punk match twice oh my god there are SO MANY matches at the ppv... SO MANY

"and to my left is jericho the wizard and..." [long pause] "............ jake hager" LMFAO excalibur i love you

KILLING dante martin. murdering him!!! get him sydal! use your flips and kicks my god what a twisting backflip oh no! matt sydal's kicks are doing zero damage against moxley! except for that one. nice yesss! dante martin big splash oh no! dante martin is on his own now... look, it made sense for them to turn yuta into a violence pervert. but dante?? no... dante would never leave behind his flips mentor yeah!! sydal big whirlwind kick!! honestly i expected bcc to win this but with how good a fight sydal and dante are putting up now i dunno!! oh he got piledrivered hes done for-- oh! nevermind! wait its the combination beatdowns. bcc trademark ending.. now they gotta win yeah there it is! what the! whats jericho up to-- oh yeah the bcc are supporting eddie. right

[neon1010]

A New World Fool- Ch. 3- Punch de Ouch

1.5k words

Content warnings/endnotes: Content warnings:

-References/implications of possible noncon (nothing happens tho dw)

-Fighting-typical violence, but mostly offscreen. Nothing major.

---

Nanako isn't stupid. She even owns a whistle for these kinds of situations, though right now it's buried under a year’s worth of stuff. Nanako knew she should have been paying more attention to the things around her, especially being somewhere new, but she wasn't expecting to get mugged on her first day.

“Hey, dollface.”

Oh, God.

Nanako turns around, facing three boys (likely around her age), and feels her hands shake as she brings the arm holding her phone down to her side. The one at the front of the trio continues talking.

“Hey- how about you make it easy for everyone and just hand over your bag?” His voice takes on a tone which was likely an attempt to sound suave, but sounding totally sleazy instead.

“Would hate to have to gang up on a girl- three of us, one of you… anything could happen.” He threatened. One of his hands was still in his pocket, and he grinned, looking her up and down. It reminded her of a shark.

‘...That’s fucking disgusting you womanizing built-like-a-bus bitch.’

All potentially nice or sympathetic thoughts ditched Nanako, who immediately got the ick and decided. There was no way in absolute hell she would let any of these guys do anything to her. She slid her backpack off of her shoulders, pretending it didn'thold all of her personal belongings and wasn’tdesperately heavy. She took a shaky breath, preparing her legs to run like hell, and-

CRACK!

A fist connected with the boy's nose. The two behind them dropped their jaws and widened their eyes, jumping back a bit at the suddenness of the movement. It wasn’t Nanako who had hit him (not to say she wasn't planning on it), but a stranger. 

Appearing as a blue blur at first, he barked out a laugh, the stranger's steely grey eyes shining like gunmetal in the dim light of the alley. He tossed his dark bangs out of his eyes and got into a fighting stance as the other boys quickly turned to him. His haircut vaguely reminded Nanako of her brother’s.

“Ganging up on a girl?! S-so not cool.” There was a slight stutter to one of his words, Nanako noticed, as she slowly put her bag back over her shoulders. She quickly and quietly slipped out of the alley. This was a fight she preferred to be out of, and decided that it would be best to just run to the apartment and call the police once she was inside.

…If it wasn't for the fact she could totally hear the guy who stepped in for her getting the shit kicked out of him. Apparently that one punch was all he had. Nanako stood outside of the alleyway, her legs shaking. It would be totally terrible of her to leave him right now! The moral dilemma froze her in place, leaving her standing off to the side of the alley.

The voices coming from the area got a bit louder.

“Hey, you- augh!”

“ Hirooo-”  A voice growled- “Quit fucking shit u-!!!”

“Jesus!”

“Then quit-”

“Hey, grab his arms!”

After what felt like a minute or two of audible struggle, the other boys left the alley.

“Stop fucking with us. Swear to god…”

Nanako listened for about a minute until she was sure they had left. She hadn't heard the stranger move, so she cautiously walked in to check on him.

The boy was collapsed next to a garbage bag, but he wasn't unconscious. Nanako could see him looking up at the quickly darkening sky, filled with clouds and nothing, unlike the stars back home. Nanako was reminded of the time, and hoped that the landlord would take pity on her later.

As Nanako moved forward, she noticed that he already had some bandages on his face and arms, so it could be inferred that the boy had gotten into a few scuffles before.

His eyes slid over to her, widening when he realized who it was. He immediately straightened up, though unsuccessful as he let out a short groan of pain, slinking back down.

“I have some first aid supplies in my bag… Do you need any?” The answer was obvious, but Nanako thought it was best to ask rather than just start handing over bandages.

“Uh… Sshhhure.” He agreed, taking the hand Nanako offered and standing up, nodding. Nanako brought her bag around and started to unzip it, but…

“I have a lot of stuff in this bag and I can't really empty everything out here… My apartment is nearby. Do you mind?”

The boy shook his head.

“Not r-really.” He stuttered out, looking a little panicked that Nanako had spoken up again.

---

The walk back was… Awkward was probably the nicest way to put it.

“What’s your name?”

“Hiroyuki. Aoyama. Most people just call me Hh-Hiro for short, though…”

“Cool.” Nanako nodded. “I’m Nanako Dojima.” Hiro nodded back at her.

“C-cool.” He mumbled. Nanako wondered about the stutter, but decided it was rude to ask him about that when they barely knew each other. For god’s sake, he had saved (kind of) her from the guys that were about to mug her (but not really, given that she was about to hit one of them and run away)!

The rest of the walk was silent.

---

“It’s just you.. Right?” Nanako sweated as her landlord handed her the keys. Hiro shrunk a bit under her piercing glare, but Nanako stayed strong.

“Yeah.” And no tone, expression, or further explanation used! What a great start with the woman whose mercy she would be living under for a year.

It reminded Nanako of something her brother would do, just deadpanning it with nothing else, she thought, suppressing a smile. Miss Tojo was already examining her ruthlessly, and there was no need to make her any more annoyed.

Nanako opened the door, feeling Miss Tojo’s judgmental gaze on her.

“Good night, Miss Dojima.” And with that, Nanako’s landlord made her exit, heading down the stairs.

The two entered the apartment which was cleaned to perfection and came with a futon, storage shelf, TV, stove and microwave, and a low table to eat at. Nanako set her bag down on the table, opening it and taking some of the items out as Hiro hovered awkwardly by the door.

Nanako gestured for him to come by the table once she found the kit. It was a bit old, given to her by Kanji when he first taught her how to sew. Nanako’s kept it stocked throughout the years, and even added some larger bandages and disinfectant, mostly as weird ‘just in case’ afterthoughts.

She handed him the kit, wondering why exactly she invited him over. Hiro could probably buy this stuff at a convenience store. Maybe she felt bad about ditching him? There's not much she could have done, though, an-

“Um… Do you go to Kojiki academy? I-I didn't really mean to look, but I saw your uniform.” Hiro piped up, gesturing to the pile of Nanako’s clothes and belongings on the table. “I-I go there, too!” He continued nervously, “I’m in the Arts department. Music, specifically. You? Arts or S-stem, I mean.”

“Oh! Same as you…” Nanako said. “Take what you need.” She nodded to the first aid kit which Hiro was still holding. “I play piano… that’s actually how I got into the school. You?”

“Harp…” Nanako must have looked at him funny, because he started talking again. “I-I know- I know I don’t look the type, but I do! I’m pretty good at it, too…” His tone brightened a bit at the last sentence, clearly proud of himself. 

Hiro unwrapped one of the bandages and put it on his knee, which was pretty easy since he was wearing ripped jeans. “There’s not much that’s bleeding, s-so… but, um yeah. Nice to know we're in the same area. I-if you're a second year, we might be in the same class… I’m pretty sure there’s a band and ac-academics trip in September.” Hiro went on. Nanako smiled.

“That sounds fun. And yeah, I am a second year student.” Nanako confirmed, glancing at the microwave. “It’s pretty late… School starts tomorrow. You should probably get going before your parents worry.” Hiro nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I guess… Um, than-thank you for the bandages.”

---

As she held the door open for Hiro, Nanako had an idea.

“Hey, I don’t really have anything to do after school… Would you like to go somewhere tomorrow? I found a cafe near here, and I do want to go back sometime. I’ll pay, as thanks for… helping me back in that alley.” Nanako hoped the pause in her sentence wasn't noticeable. Hiro smiled back at her, giving a thumbs-up.

“Aaallllright.” He then turned away, jumping down the stairs two steps at a time.

Distantly, Nanako thought about a song involving a small town girl living in a lonely world. Nanako figured that wasn't going to be her this year.

Though, she seriously needed to avoid her landlord as much as possible from now on.

---

Tysm for reading!!! 💚💚💚 Also- TV world next chapter!