#quitting weed

[lennisti]

Update as promised

I have been sober for a week or so! But there is also the bad news;

I have been hallucinating every day, it started when i smoked some weed without taking my antipsychotics first... I was in a mental hospital for 3-4 days, and there they gave me some sedatives and haloperidol, they've helped. Soon i'm going to run out of sedatives, they only gave 3 of them with me... but. Back to the good news

We have been over 2 weeks without hard drugs!! Sooo proud of myself and my darling. <3

Also, i'm feeling the positive effects of being sober, and spring feels a lot more beautiful when im not high all the time🍁❤️🌷I feel like myself again. I can feel my feelings :)

Tomorrow is 4/20, but this year, it's going to be one without drugs. I'm quite happy actually 😍

Thank you @asiantuntija and @hidasnistiswaga for supporting me! We can do this, we have gotten this far, it's getting easier every day. The only way is UP!

[wipeawaythosetearsofbloodagain]

Quitting weed is weird because I’ll be fine and then I’ll want it so badly, but then the feeling passes, but then the feeling comes back. And I know if I hit my pen I’ll feel so good for about 20 mins, but that feeling will be followed by immense guilt.

[uglygaldumdum]

New update in life:

I have to quit smoking weed because it sends me into ✨drug induced psychosis ✨

[intomeisee]

I made it through the week!

I made it through the week!

I made it through the week!

I am celebrating myself so hard right now!

I have the strength to stick to what I know is best for me! I have the power to not be led by my temporary emotions! I have the dedication to make decisions from my unwavering center!

Cheers to my beautiful future that I am drawing in with a clear mind and clear heart!

There is absolutely no turning back now.

[b3comingme]

I’m really feeling like I need to quit smoking weed but after a decade of daily continual smoking and having not taken so much as a tolerance break since 2015 I’m honestly terrified? It feels impossible. I do use it for some legit reasons (or at least when I started my chronic pain was a lot more of an issue day to day) and I still use it to sleep because of ptsd nightmares but lately I just feel like I can’t stop and only smoke out of habit… avoid any feelings or boredom with it… every time I smoke I’m 50/50 on “wow I really want/need this” and “wow this does not feel good and just feels like I’m dissociating from wanting to acknowledge how fucking terrible everything is” 🙃

Idk if this even makes sense I’m just really struggling with this thought rn. Been trying to at least not immediately smoke when I wake up and just push it back a bit each day but even that has been hard to change at all… my first thought on waking is ok let’s get coffee and a bong in 🙃

Idk the point of this post even I’m just frustrated and thinking I want to quit but unsure and scared. Maybe posting about it will help me get some clarity on how it actually feels for me but idk

[immzaniel]

this pic goes hard

[we-dont-sleep]

4th day in.

I've been dreaming about smoking weed. This is hilarious. Besides that, not much. Maybe more irritability. And that each time I experience one (1) single unpleasant emotion, my brain instantly screams at me to get high. That I'd feel so much better. But this is why I was more high than sober last two months or so, and it's time I stopped listening to this voice.

[peajack]

Shit I gotta stop smoking weed. I think I'll take up drinking instead

[lennisti]

Today is the beginning of a new Lennisti era. I am trying to QUIT WEED.🍁❌🥲🤪😊

It is going to be very hard, but i think i can do this. This blog is still going to be active, even tho i'll be sober. And this is still a very safe place for people are active drug users, and i will NOT think i am better than all of you who still do drugs.♥️

(This blog started off as a joke, but nowadays it's becoming more of a diary than a troll blog...)

Let me explain:

I think now is a good time to quit, because our financial situation will fall apart if we don't quit now. Also after the psychosis, my memory has been wayyy worse, and i think weed only makes it ever worser...

I have also noticed that i dissociate and get paranoid more often when i smoke. And i am still young, and i don't think daily weed consumption (and the possible reoccurence of the Psychosis) is doing any good to my not-fully-developed- brain. I do love being baked like a cake and being so high i can barely function, and i will definitely miss weed.

BUT.

I think this is a very good thing! I will most likely feel the positive effects once we make it to week 3 (or so) of not smoking. I am, and i Should be very proud of myself And my lover for even planning something like this.

Thank you, my lovely followers for supporting me through these tough times. And don't be afraid to send asks❕especially if you too are trying to smoke less weed or quit it for good :) you can still send asks about doing drugs too if you want to! KEEP YOUR FINGERS IN THE ASS FOR ME! 😂

And, if you have any tips for staying "cLeAn" i'd appreciate it. :-)

I will update you shortly. BYEBYE! Love u guys💞🍁

[rantyraven]

hey tumblr 

this is a little weird for me. but I feel like documenting my emotions and my trials and errors with this issue will help motivate me to actually making progress on it. for about a year and a half now I've been struggling incredibly hard with a weed addiction that I'm struggling to find a support system for. most of my closest friends not only smoke it daily as well, but are firm believers in the “it’s impossible to get addicted to weed” motto. based on their attitudes and actions tho, they’re just not self aware. looking thru tags on here have made me feel less alone and more validated that there is something wrong with me -- that there’s a reason I feel like I'm struggling so bad.

I hate who I am with weed. I feel so entirely useless and unmotivated to do anything. I miss the old me, the me that didn’t know the meaning of procrastination, who exercised daily, who actually completed projects, who actively practiced writing. I can feel my brain rotting away and I hate myself for letting this happen. 

I know this will be a long rant post and I don’t wanna clog any timelines so ---------vvv

my experience with weed didn’t begin until I was 24 when my partner brought stuff home from a dispensary out of state. back then it was fun and something I only did once in awhile. I remember how I couldn’t imagine how anyone could enjoy participating daily -- it was too much for me and I often felt hungover the next day. then I abused it during my final semester of graduate school -- the excuse was I needed to smoke to help my artistic expression. but soon I wasn’t working on my creative projects on weed anymore. I was entertaining manic episodes and busy being emotional and paranoid. the longer I smoke the more I feel like a rotting fat corpse. every day I'm desperate to stop but I still choke down 3-4 joints and maybe a bowl or two. I get anxious early in the day to smoke if there’s nothing else to distract me, or if I feel too lazy to do anything. but, the moment I smoke I feel the strength to stop and feel the shame of already fucking up before I could start. it’s so ridiculous that I only feel the motivation to completely quit weed only after just having smoked. 

god I'm so desperate to quit. I want my old life back. I want the old me. I want to live a normal life again and feel the ambition and drive and passion that I used to feel over the project ideas I have. I have so much potential to be successful and I feel crippled by this fucking drug. I hate that I can’t even confide in my friends without them interpreting my journey as some kind of better-than-thou bullshit. 

I want to quit so badly but I don’t know where to start. I've never even smoked cigarettes before so I have no experience quitting a substance that has such a grip on your life. 

I would love to receive some advice or support. maybe anyone else on here who’s in the boat with me, who also wants to work on their sobriety. I've tried and retried on my own over and over and always fail. if anything, I hope using this as a vent space for my frustrations as a quit, or if I fail again. what are some of the best ways to help distract from the craving to smoke?

[desperatelyseekingdopamine]

I wish giving up smoking didn't make me so fucking miserable. Like, it's supposed to be a good thing, right? Surely it should FEEL GOOD THEN

[discoveringhalo]

It's Day 6...

I saw some guys on the sidewalk outside their apartment smoking up, and I thought: Ahhh, I miss the days when going outside to smoke weed felt good... felt liberating.

Quickly I realized: Wait a minute... that never felt good.

In high school, smoking weed put my education in jeopardy. It got me in trouble with my parents and my teachers. It got in the way of other opportunities I could have had... it supported me in developing shitty friendships and relationships with people I would never let into my life now. And then when I started working, weed put my job in jeopardy. It made my conscience uncomfortable. I always had to lie and cover my tracks, and hide that I was high. It stressed me out. And then when I started driving, it put my licence and my life, and the lives of other people in jeopardy... And then when I found my dream career, Ascension Coaching, it prevented me from showing up and doing the job I had always longed for. It put my dream career in jeopardy. When I look at it honestly, I can see clearly: going outside to smoke weed never felt good or liberating. It felt guilty, terrible, sick, and it was never worth the price I paid. Thank you God for helping me stay clean this week. I choose to keep going.

[julesonherjourney]

Damn why is it getting harder

[intomeisee]

01/30/23

finally decided Sunday morning (yesterday) that I am completely done smoking weed after 7 years

I used to smoke weed with grabba so unfortunately I am going through nicotine withdrawals too

I’m laying here with full body aches, headaches, dizziness, sweats and chills- this is so fucking hard

But there’s no turning back now

I’m doing this for my beautiful future self! I am putting my higher self first and consciously denying temporary pleasures so I can reach the depths of my soul

This will be worth it

This will be worth it

This will be worth it

Feel free to leave me some motivating words if you’d like! I’d love to connect with people on this journey as well!

💝

[b3comingme]

Random update that nobody cares about but me 😂

Well I wanted to be more active here and then after cutting out weed I’ve been basically just suffering for the last few days and nonexistent here whoops 😂 getting back on track though, past the worst of withdrawal symptoms thankfully not gagging every time I try to eat anymore and no more cold sweats 🥶 now it’s just mental stress and wiiiild nightmares 😅 actually went to my first recovery meeting yesterday which was weird but felt like a good step and I think this may be something I need to really commit to working on and building some community around, since I don’t have much of anyone in my life but my spouse it’s hard to get thru all this without that.

Hoping since I can stomach actual food again that I’ll be better on my workouts and start really updating here. I’m still sticking to my MWF gym schedule but I’ll likely start using this blog to track some other dailies too soon, exercise/meals/water intake/mood maybe more that I would like to keep track of regularly, this just seems like a good place to be able to keep track of everything!

[we-dont-sleep]

I bought my cat a little outfit. He might be annoyed but look how happy I am