#really feeling like this is all we’re gonna get and they’re not gonna cover why Mal’s been acting different | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misty-caligula · 11 months

Text

Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.

I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.

I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.

Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see ... brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.

Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that... we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?

Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.

(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)

You’d be forgiven, fresh-faced new viewer, for thinking you were watching some kind of gross-out slasher. But what happens in S1? Restraint. Laura Lee, the first non-crash victim dies at the end of episode eight. Jackie end of ep 10. (For the sake of this thesis we’re going to be almost exclusively focused on the teens.)

And yet there’s this tonal shift, It’s like ... inevitability. Like watching a crack in a window that’s very slowly spreading. Everything is steadily Getting Worse. The weather is slowly getting colder, the days are getting darker, food’s getting scarcer, life is getting harder. But so much of this difficulty is coming from external events and pressure. Yes, cracks start to show in the internal relationship dynamics, of course, but if food was plentiful, if shrooms were less so, if the weather were better, then they could probably work out a very long term stable situation. Sadly for them, things are not stable, and the pressure is building.

Then Jackie dies and the glass gets a really big break.

It’s worth mentioning at this moment that Jackie at any time could’ve come the fuck inside. Safety and warmth and even love were available to her. All it would’ve required was for her not to be the centre of the world. To make actual goddamn concessions and join the team. Which is why she couldn’t possibly make that choice, because she had to be invited, she had to be apologised to, she had to be accommodated. She couldn’t see the rest of the ‘jackets as being people who just like her were in a really shitty situation. She saw them as being external, as being in cahoots against her, as being part of some Thing that she wasn’t in on. She couldn’t let go of the society they’d left, and she preferred to die. Which sure is a choice...

Keep all of that in mind though. We’re taught to blame Shauna for Jackie’s choices. Let’s stop with that. Jackie chose not to assimilate, she looked around the cabin at the team eating the bear and praying to the wilderness and instead of just paying lip service to fit in, like Tai, she decided to put her foot down and make a Thing of it. She decided that being Right was more important than being Included.

Seriously, keep that in mind, we’re coming back to it. Cycles, you know...

Season 2, everyone’s hungry and hey we have this spare Jackie lying around. And we joke like “ha, you gonna eat that?” Only...

No. They WEREN’T going to eat her.

Really think about that for a second. They put her in the meat shed. With the bear. Think about what that does, psychologically. Linguistically. The meat shed is made to store food. The bear has a word: carcass. Day after day after week after month they carve progressively more pathetic chunks from it, subsisting on what little it offers. In the EXACT same room, sitting right there is Jackie. Her body has a different name. Corpse. With many different connotations. At NO point does ANY of them raise the fact that they’ve taken their friend and added her to their meat stockpile.

Because they haven’t. Instead, they’ve added a new sub-room. The meat shed is now also a morgue. And nobody ever once had to say it. They got it. We got it. You got it. And while they starved and their bodies BEGGED for food, Jackie’s corpse lay there, frozen and fresh, and stubbornly refused to become a carcass, because they wouldn’t let it. They knew that there were more important things than meat, even when they were starving.

The bacchanal was a mistake. A literal error. It simply wasn’t planned, wasn’t meant to go down that way. Maybe if they HAD considered that route earlier and had a discussion about it they’d have been prepared, psychologically, maybe if they weren’t so starved. Who knows. But in the middle of the night they were offered a way out, and they took it.

But Shauna took it first.

Even in their state, even faced with an ideal roasted feast infront of them, they waited until Shauna said it was okay. Because Jackie was Shauna’s friend, and they knew that she was still a person. That this was still a corpse first. It was Shauna who was able to give them permission to survive. To turn a friend into a meal. It was not their place to take that step. To shoulder that guilt. So Shauna did it for them.

The next day they’re devastated. The heavy reality sets in, now the hunger is settled. And Jackie’s carcass is far too real, they can’t change her back into a corpse. Nat tries, bless her heart. But Tai’s screaming reaction at having eaten Jackie’s face is only an externalisation of the grief and horror and agony they’re all going through.

And after Jackie they starve again. Hope and heat and light dwindles further. Every single day they all take another step towards death. That’s what starvation is, it’s the same thing as dying, you die a little bit every day until you can’t die anymore.

Kristen falls. Misty doesn’t even consider that she might bring her back as meat. If she had’ve, she might think, maybe she’d be considered like ... heroic. It doesn’t even occur to her. She’s not going to LET those bitches eat her one and only friend, and she goes out of her way to protect her.

Shauna has her horror show birth. And, no matter WHAT the context is, she produces.... meat. In the most awful, brutal way. And while the fandom made so many jokes and stuff, the reality is that yes... at least to an extent there was real nutrients there. And it was never once even brought up as an option, by these desperate, starving girls.

When Coach tries to kill himself, here’s a ready source of willing meat. And Misty uses it as a threat to stop him. But it’s hollow, she’s just putting on fake fangs to try to keep him safe. She’s not actually that vicious thing that she’s pretending to be, just like she’s not actually homophobic.

When Lottie tells Misty to eat her if she dies, Misty fights her on it. Lottie has to insist. Then when she tells the rest of the team, they are so overwhelmed with the selflessness of the gesture that it inspires them to twist it into their first hunt. That’s what it takes. The hunt is an act of self-sacrifice and love.

And so we get to the hunt. The proto-pit-girl, we’ve come full circle and we start to learn all these answers to questions posed in act 1 scene 1. And they’re not the answers that were assumed.

How do they get to the point of eating each other? They sacrifice themselves willingly, for the sake of each other’s survival.

Why do they hunt the way they do? Because Shauna just can’t stand to murder a friend in cold blood, a friend she cares for and has no reason to hate.

Why the spike pit? Because it keeps the blood off their hands. Because it lets them blame It and preserve a tiny fragment of their innocence.

Why the weird symbols? The ritual itself? Because they need SOMETHING to hold onto, to make it all make sense.

Why so brutal? Is it? We THINK it’s brutal. It’s certainly bloody. But Pit Girl dies almost instantly. Her pain is over fast. She doesn’t have a good time going into it, obviously, none of them want to die. But she chose to run, she could’ve taken the knife instead. And the spike trap was efficient. Yes they drag her through the snow and string her up, but it’s mechanical and just part of the process and she’s dead already. Her pain is over fast, it’s not sadistic.

Why do they chop her up into chunks like that? Because nobody wants to eat her face. Because nobody wants to struggle with her humanity, they want her to look just like any other meat. So that they might be having deer or bear or ... friend. They’re eating because they are biological machines that need to eat, that NEED death to survive. They didn’t ask to be made the way they are, and they’re doing their best to cope. Shauna, probably blindly, takes on that responsibility, to transform their friend into unrecognisable meat to change a corpse into a carcass. She takes that pain for them, holds that sin for them, out of love. So they can eat, so they can survive.

What’s with the creepy horror masks? During the ritual they can’t handle being themselves. They create alternate versions of themselves to hold what must be done. The masks aren’t there to scare anyone, because there IS NO AUDIENCE. The masks are there to hide behind. That’s why Misty takes hers off at the end of the scene. The ritual is over and they can go back to being people again.

Why is Misty fucking Quigley in charge? Because she CAN be. Because she’s strong enough. If Lott/Nat/The AQ is the goddess/queen, Misty is the priestess/handmaiden, tasked with actually carrying out her orders. She interprets the queens words when she’s too weak, she provides counsel when she needs it, she tells the team what they need to hear in the moment, she gives out the micromanagement. Misty’s the power behind the throne, because when she says she’ll do something she fucking follows through. No matter the cost. And what the team NEEDS, whether they choose to admit it or not, is a backbone.

So...

They bring home Javi. The music uses a reference that’s never been done before. It uses the spiritual powerballad that was playing when Laura Lee tried to fly away. It builds the expectation of Great Things, of big, potent ...

And then it just stops. As the girls are faced with the reality of what’s laying on the table. The cold, blue corpse of a soft child who never hurt anyone. No matter what they do, no matter how hard they try they just cannot make him a carcass. But they have made the choice already, and if they turn back now it’s not like it’ll bring him back. They’ll just be starving and regretful as he rots.

So Shauna, blind and shaking, does the best she can. And when she brings in the meat, she - of all people - understands EXACTLY what Travis is going through. She knows what he needs. Because she’s been here. With Jackie. So she brings him Javi’s heart. His core. His love. His soul.

(She doesn’t bring him Javi’s head. She cuts that off and puts it aside so nobody has to eat his face... Some things are worth more than pure nutritional survival.)

And Travis, god bless him, does the only thing he can do left to respect Javi. He takes his heart, and he bites it, raw and bloody.

It hurts him to do so. It disgusts him so much, but he manages not to throw up. It disgusts the girls too, but they watch on, horrified. And that’s the POINT. Travis makes sure that before they do this, before they do what they have to... that they all remember this is Javi, this is human, this is a person. And he preserves the horror. For all their sakes. And only then, after he’s given his blessing, after he’s done his human acts, do these starving, ravenous girls allow themselves to reach for their food.

S1E1. Act 1, scene 1. We do not know who Pit Girl is. We do not know the exact circumstances that get us there. But we do know where we started now. What the original meaning is behind each of these little things. And it’s not brutality, not barbarism. It’s love. It’s not lord of the flies, a bunch of monstrous human-shaped creatures giving in to their primal nature and predating on each other. It’s a team of terrified people desperately clutching at their own humanity as hard as they can. Trying SO hard not to let that glass break, to not become the thing that the framing of act 1 scene 1 tried so VERY hard to convince us they were. Context changes everything.

And the proof is in the pudding. After they eat Jackie the shock explodes throughout the cabin. The atmosphere is thick, and horrific. Now with Javi, reduced to simple meat, carefully and lovingly seperated from what made him human, so they can grieve him while they sate their natural needs, the mood post-eating is calm and soft and warm and loving. For once they’re all together, with grateful full stomachs and in a time of peace and plenty. They’ve done the impossible and maintained their humanity and love for each other and their respect for Javi in a nearly impossible situation.

*takes a deep breath*

Which brings us to THIS asshole.

Right from the start, Jackie is only kind of part of the team. She’s the team captain, put up there by Coach Martinez, but not because she’s the best of them but because she can maybe wrangle them into doing better. And they KNOW that she’s not really one of them. They plot around her, and just don’t bring her in on it. They put up with her, more than loving her, she’s just kind of forced upon them. But she does her best, to try to maintain some semblance of order, giving pep talks and the like.

Wait, Jackie? I mean coach. My bad.

Anyway, so Jackie has one friend, Shauna. She SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to her, but Shauna’s the only one who actually likes her. And Shauna’s her connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn as to where her real loyalties lie.

Sorry I’m talking about Jackie again.... weird.

In S1E9/10 Shauna finally chooses the team, for real. And Jackie tries to pull her back away, but Shauna puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, you’re the odd one out. Why don’t YOU leave, Jackie? Jackie looks around at the burgeoning cult, she thinks “Look at these evil monstrous bitches, and now Shauna’s one of them TOO?” And instead of finding a compromise, instead of doing introspection, instead of anything like that, Jackie goes and freezes to death because it turns out that sheer rage won’t keep you warm in sub zero temperatures. Because no matter what happens, Jackie’s Right and it’s more important to her to be Right than Included. If she’s not in charge than why is she even THERE?

Hold on, I see my mistake. Let me backtrack.

Right from the start, Coach is only kind of part of the team. He’s trying to hide from his real life, from Paul and the complexities of being genuine in society by taking on the job of coaching the ‘jackets. And they KNOW that he’s not really one of them. He’s just the guy they have to listen to, because society put him there. But he tries his best, giving pep talks and the like.

So Coach has one friend, Natalie. He SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to him, but Nat’s the only one who actually likes him. (Ignore Misty, a schoolgirl comphet crush is not the same thing). And Nat’s his connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn to where her real loyalties lie. Sometimes she’s on the bench with Coach, complaining about the state of things. Sometimes she’s in the thick of it with them all, and Coach is nowhere to be found.

In S2E9, Nat finally chooses the team, for real. And Coach tries to pull her back, but Nat puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, I’m worse than them, you’re the odd one out. Go, save yourself, you don’t belong in this place. Coach looks at a table covered in blood and gore, at Nat’s face, at the rest of the team pledging fealty to her. And instead of looking for context, or looking for compromise, or even remotely trying to understand what he’s looking at he thinks

Look at these evil monstrous bitches. They’re eating each other. They’ve all gone mad. They’ve even gotten Nat now. There’s no hope for them, there’s no hope for anyone out here.

And he decides that they’re corrupt. That the way you deal with that is fire. And he’s wrong.

(I have a theory that he’s gone and jumped off the cliff, that he set the fire to clear the corruption, and now like Jackie, unable to live in this situation any longer, he’s decided to die himself. I’d not be surprised to find him in s3e1 that way)

Jackie was a frustrating, difficult person. Because no matter how things went she just COULDN’T let go of the fact that she was trying to fit a mold that just didn’t suit her. She was raised with super high expectations, when she was really just kind of mid. And that’s fine, honestly, most people ARE mid, that’s why it’s mid. But she refused to see that those around her were shedding their social pressures, were adapting to the wilderness. They weren’t having a good time, they weren’t hunting and foraging because they were out there, camping for fun. Nobody wanted to be there. They were just trying not to complain about it, because they were all in the same boat.

Coach is similar. He simply won’t adapt. Refuses to. I mean this is a guy who’s STILL trying to live in the closet when there’s open lesbians making out in public around him. Who thinks of others as inherently monstrous when he himself, as a gay man, should know better. Because that’s what trying to fit your society-assigned role does to you.

It’s no accident that he and Jackie both spend a long time in the woods and neither of them can do something as basic as start a fucking campfire. Javi, a little kid, survived for MONTHS on his own in that cave. Coach couldn’t make it a day alone. Jackie couldn’t get through a night. They both rely so heavily on the team without ever once recognising it. Because SOMEONE was keeping the fires going. They both just ... refused to engage.

And just like Jackie can’t see that they’re not having fun out there in the woods, on the knifes edge of survival, Coach can’t see that they’re not having fun when they are so desperate they feel it’s warranted to sacrifice one of their own. He always thought of them as monsters, and he just sees what he expects to: a bunch of stupid useless teenage girls, finally doing what he always expected they would.

At any point... At ANY point he could’ve come in from the cold. He could’ve just accepted reality as they have. He could’ve taken some meat and accepted the price, as they have, joined them in their GRIEF about it, shared their humanity, and survived. Just as Jackie could’ve come in from the cold, and become part of the whole. But instead, they sit in the cold, consumed by their bitter hate, and decide that no, it’s everyone ELSE who’s wrong.

And who emerges from the burning cabin? A bunch of scared kids. Shauna, the FIRST cannibal, who saves Jackie’s prom dress before anything else. Travis, who grabs Javi’s wolf. Nat who grabs the ammunition - that they NEVER use on each other - because if they lost that they’d get SERIOUSLY desperate. And they protect each other, they make sure everyone makes it out. These supposed monsters who are so far gone they don’t even care about eating each other go out of their way to save each other, not just themselves.

Because Coach is wrong. Just like Jackie was wrong. Just like WE were wrong, in s1e1. Which brings me to my actual point.

This question is asked so many times in S1 it’s almost a mantra. And the ‘jackets’ oath of silence really builds up that it must’ve been something REALLY bad, right? But S2E9 has really made me recognise that fundamentally... Act 1 Scene 1 is entirely what everyone who asks this question is expecting.

Imagine they DID know what really happened out there. With that bloodthirsty fucking look in their eyes...

They’re not looking for an answer. They’re looking for a story. For an exciting spooky nightmare they didn’t take part in, so they can get a shiver and a thrill they didn’t earn.

They’re not looking for a love story. They’re not looking to hear how HARD these scared, tragic, broken people fought to hold onto their morals and their humanity and their sanity even against their own survival. They’re not interested in Shauna blinding herself just to try to stop her hands from shaking. They’re not looking to hear about Travis choking down the blood of his brother just to make sure that he can really FEEL it. So he can share the guilt, and never ever pretend like it’s Just Meat. The look in his eye when he can’t think of any good response to Van’s arguments that he needs to let Javi save him. What they want is...

They don’t want the context. And if the ‘jackets ever did try to tell anybody what actually DID happen out there, all they would see is ... Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1. A bunch of monsters. Eating each other. Just like Jackie. Just like Coach. Just like we did, on first glance.

I’ve been saying this whole time that Yellowjackets is doing something really special. That it’s letting us see behind the curtain, that while everyone’s asking this big question, “what really happened?”, we’re the ones who get to know. Because it can’t be told. It can’t be spoken. It can only be seen. Experienced. I think that S2 has finally finished the first major arc in the teen timeline, that we now have the context to understand what comes next. And I do believe that it will get messy, it will devolve. Into fighting and screaming and battles. It’s tragic, but it looks like that’s the downward spiral, spiraling. As Travis and Nat deal with the guilt of what they did with Javi for each other. As Shauna and Nat butt heads and people pick sides. As Misty Mistys. As resources get even more desperate now their shelter is gone. As potentially new people (hikers? other cabin people?) get brought into conflict with them (I believe the cabin is a smoke signal, personally).

But don’t ever forget that we got here with love. Expect that the downward spiral will be lubricated with toxic, broken, codependant, self-destructive love as well. Watch them love each other to death... they’ve already begun.

#yellowjackets #spoilers #theories #Long post #no really long post

2K notes · View notes

httpsuniverse · 9 months

Text

mr lover [ ben chilwell ]

— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °. *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °. *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell family time

view all 592 comments

user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??

user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever

user they’re such dog parents 😭

yourusername my babyyy my babyyy

benchilwell which one?

yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who

benchilwell 🙄

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others

yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.

view all 826 comments

user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭

benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back

yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman

user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her

yourusername i birthed this child

benchilwell huh

yourusername huh

user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog

yourusername if he fits, he sits

user agreed 🤝

user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person

user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid

yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret

benchilwell what? no way

yourusername heheheheheheheeh

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, judebellingham and others

benchilwell home is where the heart is.

view all 289 comments

yourusername but god i love the english

benchilwell you know i love a london boy

yourusername 🫣🫣

user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman

benchilwell i cant blame him

yourusername i told you i birthed this dog

benchilwell 😂

yourprivate

liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others

yourprivate hehe oops

view all comments

mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!

yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh

mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE

benspriv little chilly 🔜

masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account

reecespriv me too mate

christiansprivme three

jackspriv me four

benspriv me five

yourpriv what

benspriv what

yourusername and benchilwell

liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others

yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈

view all 399,826 comments

benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be

yourusername mines funnier

benchilwell 🙄

masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute

yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀

masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!

user this is the cutest announcement 😭

user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!

weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!

user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)

yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW

user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional

— ❤️ by yourusername

england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍

chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?

yourusername omg YES PLEASE

benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️

yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE

benchilwell

liked by prodbymika, masonmount, madders, england and others

benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both

comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others

yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)

view all 150,729 comments

benchilwell 🩷🩷

user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹

user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭

user the hand placements of ben 😭

user i’m so alone yall

user AAA y/n 🥺

user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername and benchilwell

2,836,729 likes

yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨

view all 238,861 comments

benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲

user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad

user stopp im emo im not even a parent

user omg eleanor looks so cute!!

user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum

user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor

user they have a little ballerina 🥺

user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg

yourusername i know right 🥺

user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN

#ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell #ben chilwell scenario #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x y/n #football imagine #football x y/n #football x you #football x reader #ben chilwell instagram au #football instagram au

814 notes · View notes

feyhunter78 · 10 months

Note

PLEASE UPDATE IM BEGGING THIS IS MY BRAND NEW LIFE SOURCE RN

I'm gonna assume this is about Pink Pastels, and gladly give you what you're asking for👀

Pink Pastels Pt 6

Description: It's time for Gabi's field trip, and wouldn't ya know, you and Miguel are in the same group.

Pt 7

Miguel’s never been a chaperone before. During Gabi’s Kindergarten field trip he was away on a business trip, but this time he made sure to be there, not just because Gabi’s class was going to the zoo, and she loves the zoo, but because of you.

There’s this need to protect you, like an itch beneath his skin. He can’t forget the look of fear on your beautiful face, or the way you clung so tightly to him, desperate and terrified. The crunch of that man’s bones beneath his fists, the fear that ran through your attacker as Miguel tore into him, talons and fangs covered in his blood, crimson drip, drip, dripping down to the pavement below, it was an almost ecstasy.

Your broken and discarded shoes are hidden in the back of his closet, along with your hairband. It’s pathetic, really, the makeshift shrine that’s beginning to form, and he knows that his actions could so easily borderline being creepy, but you’re his. He knows it. You’re meant to be together, and he’s simply showing his devotion.

“Papá, Papá, we’re here.” Gabi tugs on his shirt sleeve, her face lit up with pure, innocent excitement, and he resists the urge to crush her to his chest and never let her go.

“I see, where do you want to go first, Mija?” He asks, adjusting her baseball cap and making sure it’s snug on her head. He doesn’t want her face to get sunburned, but she hates the feeling of sunscreen, so they compromised.

“I want to see the hippos!” She says, bouncing in her seat as she turns to talk with her friends behind her, little, high-pitched voices discussing and debating which animals were the best.

“Mr. O’Hara, here’s your map, and safety packet. I trust you went over the info online ahead of time?” You hand him a manila envelope, smiling brightly at him.

Your hair is down today, the crown of your head covered by a white bucket hat, and you’re wearing jeans with a sage green T-shirt that reads SRE Field trip, in big white block letters. He’s wearing the same, everyone is, to ensure if a child is lost, they can be easily returned to their group.

He takes the packet from you, nodding. “Of course, can’t leave my chaperone partner to do all the heavy lifting.”

You laugh a little at that and continue down the bus aisle, handing out the remaining packets.

He lets Gabi pull him off the bus and is soon swarmed by five first-graders, each one a friend of Gabi’s—she makes friends so easily, something he can’t take credit for.

“Okay everyone has their groups, please stay with your chaperone, and your buddy, don’t go wandering off, and meet back here, at the entrance at three o’clock.” An older teacher says, before she gathers her own group and heads through the zoo gates.

You bend down to face the kids, an excited smile on your face. “Alright, what animal are we seeing first?”

“Hippo!”

“Lion!”

“Monkeys!”

“Seals!”

A chorus of answers rings out, and you turn to Miguel. “Mr. O’Hara? Do you have any suggestions?”

You look so pretty, the sun shining down on you, the casual outfit, the way you tap your finger against your lips in thought, clearly putting on a show for the kids. If he ignores all the others and focuses on only you and Gabi, he can almost imagine this is a family outing, not a field trip.

“Last time I was here, they had snow leopards?” He feigns ignorance, but when your face lights up, he feels that intoxicating shot of dopamine.

Snow leopards are your favorite animal, the one you’ve voiced your desire to go see many times while in the school’s teacher’s lounge. One which has cameras, that Miguel has access to. Obviously.

“They still do, they’re my favorites.” You confirm what he already knows, and the children immediately change their answer to match yours.

“Why don’t we go there first, then if the kids see any animals, they want to visit on the way there we’ll see them afterwards?” He suggests, still acting oh so innocent.

“What do we think? Everyone agrees with Mr. O’Hara?” You ask the children, straightening up and throwing him a smile when they all agree to his plan.

Miguel stands back behind you and the children, watching as you join them up at the glass, helping them read out the informational signs, and marveling over the big cats.

The environment set up for the leopards is lush, full of greenery and stone. Perches and outcroppings meant to mimic their homelands, and mounds of snow that they seem to disappear into, reappearing with a flash, causing Gabi and her friends to jump back in surprise then burst into giggles.

You soon join him, your arms tucked behind your back as you watch your students. “I think this is one of my favorite days of the year. I know it’s stressful, and tiring but seeing how excited they all are, just really makes me happy.”

“Gabi loves the zoo, we come here every year on her birthday.” He tells you, desperate to include you in their life, if only through shared pieces of personal information. “I’ve got all the photos in my office, my coworkers’ joke that by the time I retire I’ll have half my office wall covered.”

“I used to go to the aquarium when I was a kid, there’s something about standing underneath those giant tanks, with the way the light plays through the water—it’s breathtaking.”

You’re breathtaking. He wants to say, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “I know the feeling.”

You smile shyly at him, and for a moment he’s back on the side of your building, watching you through your window. He didn’t intend to be there, to watch you, he only wanted to ensure you were okay. You were fast asleep, hair askew, in a soft looking oversized t-shirt, the moonlight dancing across your peaceful face.

He couldn’t tear himself away, enraptured by the sight.

You let out a huff, and in his peripheral, he spies the name on your phone. Todd.

He hates Todd.

“Everything okay?” He asks carefully, his eyes on Gabi.

“Yes, sorry, just some personal issues, nothing serious.” You say quickly, sliding your phone into your pocket.

“Ms. Y/N, can we go see the hippos now?” One of Gabi’s friends, Emma, comes up to you, looking up at you with big blue eyes, her hand tugging at your shirt.

“Is that what everyone else wants to see?” You ask, gaze sweeping over the other children.

“Yes.” Emma says confidently, running off in the direction of the large animals, Gabi following closely behind.

“Girls!” You call out, looking from them to the others.

“Go, I’ll bring the others.” He reassures you.

You take off after them, and he gathers the remaining four children, who huddle around him like ducklings.

“Is Ms. Y/N mad? She looked mad.” One of the little boys—Tony, named after the Avenger or a family member, Miguel isn’t sure—asks him, chewing on his bottom lip.

This is that Tony, Gabi’s told him about this boy, how he’s very nice, and funny, but gets scared easily. She likes him, maybe not in a way she yet understands, or that Miguel is ready for, but if his baby girl has to have a crush on anyone, an easily scared little boy isn’t the worst.

“She’s probably mad at her dumbass boyfriend.” Dahlia, a girl he can tell is from the Bronx by her thick accent, speaks up, and it’s all he can do to keep from laughing at the scandalized look on Tony’s face.

“Don’t tell Ms. Y/N I said a bad word, but that’s what I’ve heard Ms. Melissa call him.” She says quietly when she sees Tony’s face.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He promises.

“Gabi’s right, you are the coolest.” Dahlia says, grabbing his hand and swinging it back and forth as they walked.

The coolest? He wanted to run ahead and scoop his daughter into his arms, she thought he was the coolest.

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia

#meg's writing #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #Miguel's pastels #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel ohara x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099

649 notes · View notes

kawanari · 1 year

Text

WALKING INTO YOUR EMBRACE , INSTEAD. PT . 2

。part 1 。part 3

。tags: @i-x4o , @cb97yeeeet , @annathea-annoona , @kazedaka , @sunsethw4 , @rayrlupin , @y2unagiz

。to get tagged in my post , visit here♡

⁀➷ pairing: blade x afab! reader ( a little bit of kafka ? )

⁀➷ synopsis: you’re betrayed by the people you thought were friends , and now you wind into the Stellaron Hunters’ grasp …

⁀➷ warnings: mentions of sensitive content ( pt. 2 )

AROUND THE TIME YOU WOKE UP , you were still being carried around like a baggage , in the unknown man’s arms. Your body lightly bobbed up and down along with his footsteps. Judging by the incoherent sounds coming from above , he was talking with someone. You decided to try to pretend to be asleep , fearing what he— or they— might do to you.

“ —got a threat from Himeko , ” a new voice was talking. You identified it as the woman who took away the Stellaron- the one with the distinct eyes.

“ So you’re letting the Astral Express hunt down our tracks. How cruel can you be , Kafka? ” He was talking. His voice was deep , like the very depths of the abyss itself.

“ Oh , no. I doubt the Express would try to follow us tediously to save their little recruit. After all , the crew themselves were the one who decided to leave her here. I’m sure they would give up sooner or later- they’re too busy trying to destroy Stellarons. ”

“ …if you say so. ”

The walking continued , and you held your breath , running down the options in your head.

Of course , you could play dumb and escape , but then where would you go? You had nowhere to hide , now that you were betrayed by the Astral Express. Another option was to ask them to kill you. It was a better solution. You might finally find peace and quiet , and you wouldn’t have to feel hurt anymore.

Just as you’re about to decide on how to do that , Kafka’s voice broke your trail of thought.

“ It seems that our poor little girl woke up. ”

You attempt to play dead once more , but it didn’t work. They had stopped in their tracks— waiting for you to open your eyes.

So you reluctantly open your eyes , greeted by two faces. One was the beautiful woman , looking down at you , amused; the other was the man who had you in his arms.

Although , obviously , he was the one who had you on his blade just a while ago , it was a fact he was devilishly handsome. His smooth black bangs covered one of his bloodred eyes , while the dim lights above you casted a shadow on his face. Those eyes scrutinized you - making you feel as if you were basically naked.

You decide to focus around your surroundings instead , afraid of what kind of thoughts you might think if you stared a little longer.

It was dim so you couldn’t figure out where you were , but it appeared to be some sort of long corridor , like the one in the Herta Space Station. It was far more lifeless , however. Not a single person seemed to be within their vicinity.

“ Why did you bring me here? ” you ask the two of them , your eyes dull. You didn’t care if they decided to kill you at this point.

Kafka caught on with your lifeless voice. “ We aren’t gonna kill you. We aren’t that cruel , you know? ”

“ Then.. why.. ”

“ We’re going to provide you a new home. ” Seeing your confused face , she merely chuckled.

“ You’re going to work for the Stellaron Hunters. ”

The man spoke , his gaze piercing through you.

“ What? ”

You tried to process what he said , remembering that the Astral Express had told her countless times about how evil the Stellaron Hunters were.

But come to think of it , they weren’t really your friends anymore. So technically , you had no reason to trust what they said. For all you knew , they might be the evil ones , right?

One question still remained unknown. Although it was quite embarrassing to talk while in someone’s arms , you decide to ask.

“ Why me? I’m not even useful for you. ”

“ Oh , you think. You have many more purposes than you could imagine. The Astral Express failed to utilize it , that’s all. ”

Her smooth words easily worked into your brain. Maybe you should listen and join them. Maybe you’ll be useful for them. But you felt distrust rise in your throat.

“ How do I know if you won’t throw me away like the Astral Express did? ” Your voice shook.

“ Oh , we won’t. Trust me. ” Kafka chuckles.

“ Prove it to me. ” you blurt it out.

“ Prove it? ” she seems entertained at your request. “ Alright. What do you want? Name it. ”

You opened your mouth to reply to that , but nothing came out. What did you want? A home , probably. Shelter , and love.

“ A home. We can give that to you , can’t you see? ”

You jump at her voice. Is she reading my mind? You stared at her in suspicion.

“ No , I can’t read people’s minds. It’s just obvious on your face. ” She smiles , and although it was less comforting than the smile Himeko gave you , it somehow radiated something motherly. You started to feel safe , even. Maybe you would be alright if you stayed with her..

And that was how you decided to join the Stellaron Hunters. After the deal , Kafka had told you that she had other matters to attend to— and the man who was still carrying you , Blade , apparently , was his name— was going to escort you to the room you would be staying in.

Because of Kafka’s absence , it became so quiet that all you could hear was your own heartbeat , and his footsteps. You weren’t much of a talker yourself , so you spent your time awkwardly shifting around in his arms.

Until at one point , Blade stopped walking and glared at you.

“ Can you stop fucking moving? ” the male hissed at you.

You were a little startled by his sudden hostility - and you responded with equal annoyance , disliking how he talked to you like you were a dog.

“ Well , then can you put me down already? I’m not some damsel in distress. ” you glare right back at him.

For a heartbeat , he seemed a little taken aback that you talked back to him. Then he regained his hostile demeanor.

“ Tch… you’re going to run off if I do. ” Blade refused to comply to your words and continued to move on.

You indignantly try to retort , but you realized you were nearing your destination , so you saved your breath. It automatically slid open upon Blade’s presence , showing you a spacious , clean room.

It was far more larger than the suites in the Astral Express- comfy , with all the luxuries anyone could ask for. Instead , it lacked the warmth and life of the Express. Not a single soul seemed to exist other than Kafka and Blade.

The tall man finally puts you down on the bed in the middle— no , pinned you down was the right word. His cold hands relentlessly shoved you onto the mattress , crinkling it roughly in the process.

“ Ow! ” you wince. Couldn’t he be a little softer?

“ This is your room , ” he said, ignoring your pained yelp. “ All you have to do is to just stay put. ”

“ Just.. stay here? ” you repeat. “ I’m not going out? ”

“ No. ” he responded. “ I thought you were the one who hated expeditions? What’s with the tone change? ”

“ I know! It’s just.. ” you trail off , unable to say it. Saying your thoughts out loud would make you the worst person to exist. You were lonely. Himeko always stayed with you , but this time , you really had nobody. Not even Pom-Pom , just the stillness of the spacious room.

Blade’s voice broke your sad thoughts.

“ I’m coming back here every midnight. I’m not going to be your playmate or whatever-fucking-thing you want. I’m going to check on you if you’re not trying to escape.. and if I see you awake , you’re in big trouble. ”

With that , Blade pointed to the digital hologram clock— and without another word , proceeded to slam the door shut on you.

What a man with an attitude! You scoff , then sunk into the bed. Maybe sleeping would help pass time.

You slide back the covers , ready to sink into dreamland. As you put your head against the pillow , thoughts started to cloud into your head.

What would the Astral Express be doing right now? Probably vanquishing another Stellaron.. you scoff to yourself.

Stuffing your head into the pillow , you try not to think about it. Before you could empty your head , however , you’re unfortunately interrupted by the sound of weird beeping noises coming from nearby.

Annoyed , you stand up , ready to intercept the source of the sound. Dragging your body away , you grumpily head out.

The corridor was eerily quiet except for the beeping noises — which became louder as you approached the room next to yours.

You still had your manners , though. So you knock on the door patiently.

“ Oh scram Kafka , I’m at the verge of beating this game! ” a voice snipped from inside , followed by rapid tapping noises of a game console.

“ I’m not Kafka , ” you respond rather indignantly.

“ Oh , you’re the girl she brought. Come in. Don’t bother me though! ” the voice called.

Uneasily , you open the door- and you’re greeted by a gigantic screen , where there was some sort of game on it , followed by twin monitors that had weird code language typed into it. On the very middle was a sleek chair , where the person who talked was gaming in. You couldn’t see how she looked like , because her back was turned to you , but you could see her gray hair tied up to a ponytail.

“ Are these screens necessary? ” you wonder out loud.

“ Shhhh! ” she snarled , so you stayed quiet and watched her play.

On the screen was a blonde character with a long braid , brandishing his blade at some purple haired woman. You watched as she controlled the character , dealing hits while skillfully avoiding every single attack from the woman. Your eyes stretch wide as the gamer rapidly jams the controller buttons to dodge continuously while dealing damage to the boss that led to six-digit numbers.

“ Boom! ” she exclaimed , dealing the killing blow. Looking satisfied with herself , she then turned to you while pausing the game. She had silver eyes , futuristic semi-transparent bluish glasses sitting on her head. Compared to the other two Stellaron Hunters , she had extremely different clothing on.

“ Hello.. ” you say awkwardly.

“ The name’s Silver Wolf. What do you want? ” she eyes you , looking bored— a completely different demeanor compared to when she was gaming.

“ Oh , I just heard the noises. That’s all. ” you awkwardly said.

“ Care for a round? ” without replying to that , she instead tosses you a controller. You catch it- confused.

“ I don’t know how to play.. ”

“ This game is easy as long as I’m the one carrying you around. Log in with that monitor , will you? I’ll lend you one of my alt accounts. ” she points to the monitor next to the big screen. Because you didn’t have anything else to do , you decide why not?

“ Ei is going down the drain , ” she snickers. You’re not sure how to respond to her , so you just stay quiet and try to play along with her.

“ I don’t know this game well , but how do you have so much currency..? ”

“ I hacked some , duh. ”

“ Are you really a Stellaron Hunter? ”

“ Hey , I’m an infamous hacker , alright? ”

“ I see… why don’t you just hack the game to make it easier? ”

“ What’s the fun in that? Anyways , focus! We’re about to murder a woman. ”

It was almost midnight when you gamed the whole day away with Silver Wolf. You told her you would have to stay in your room by the time it was around midnight , or else Blade might slit your throat.

“ Ehhh.. fine. Drop by tomorrow though , we need to farm artifacts. ” she had replied.

So you drag your body down back to your empty room , sighing. It had been a blast gaming away with your new buddy , but you had to deal with Blade now , and he was probably not going to say something nice.

Speak of the devil.

You hear footsteps advancing towards your room , and you pretend to be asleep quickly. You damn knew you might receive the end of his blade if you were still awake.

The door creaks open , the faint ray of light slicing through the darkness you hid in. There’s a long , menacing silence. You almost felt the same fear you felt when he first threatened you— you could practically hear him walk agonizingly slow around the bed.

Then , he slid in right next to you. You froze in your position , unable to move- as he slowly wraps around his cold arms around you , capturing you in his cold yet soothing embrace. His unfathomable actions caused you to suck in your breath in in surprise.

At that moment , Blade leans forward and breathes against your ear.

“ You’re awake. ”

Your face paled white. You tried to make up an excuse , but your mouth couldn’t form the words. He smirks at you winningly. You had fallen right into his trap.

“ What did I say? ”

You expect him to unsheathe his deadly blade , but instead , he unbuckles his belt.

“ ‘ If I see you awake , you’re in big trouble.’ ”

Your eyes widen , realizing what he’s about to do to you.

“ You’re in a lot of trouble tonight. ”

Those were the last coherent words you heard before his cruel hands snagged up your skirt , ready to make you regret everything you’ve done.

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

#nari♡#🌷ʜsʀ #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x you #blade x reader #blade hsr #hsr kafka #star rail x reader #star rail x you #I had fun with the silver wolf part #she’s so drippy

601 notes · View notes

b0nten · 5 months

Text

BLUEBELLS, YOURS TRULY.

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ albeit rarely, rindou overthinks, and frequently, ran doesn’t think too much.

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ this is like the “backstory” for the ring. MAYBE i’ll turn it into a multiple part. i also put it in the timeline where everyone is happy because i really love everyone being friends. wrote it because rays’s version destroyed me !!!!!!!!!!!

he spins the ring on his finger. he slides it off. he looks at it. he lets it hang from his neck, on the chain. he sighs.

“now what the hell is up with you?” barging in, ran asks. “who shat in your cereal every morning for the past two weeks?” he says, opening the kitchen cupboard to take — funny enough — some cereal out.

“i’m not in the mood, ran.” his younger brother spits back, head falling against the wooden table.

“hey now, there’s something really wrong with you if you’re acting like .. this.” pointing at him, he sits down, fat bowl of cereal clashing against the dark block, spilling some milk onto it. “now, spill.” with mouth full, he tries to choke out the words, spoon in his brothers face the moment he gulps down the first mouthful.

“you’re gross sometimes.” rindou just sighs, looking away.

“what’s with the ring?” ignoring the insult, the lanky haitani just continues his questioning. “by the way, the blue doesn’t look that bad on you.”

“it’s mine, and i got a matching one for y/n.” the other explains, “thanks, by the way. it was her idea to dye it like this.”

“you wanna propose to her?” his older brother asks, chewing loudly. “y’know we’re still just teenagers?”

“no shit, big head.” rolling his eyes, rindou feels the exasperation dig its roots deeper into his brain. “i’m not proposing. yet. but i don’t know if i should give it to her.” he finally says, letting ran in on his worries.

“and why not? what’s that? cartier, right?”

“no brand can escape your gaze, you’re really unbelievable.”

“thanks, bro, love you too.” as he swallows his last spoonful, ran winks.

“not in a good way.” the younger sibling announces, earning a displeased look from his brother.

“now you’re the annoying one. fuck’s going with you two?” ran finally snaps, trying not look worried. after all, he loves his brother, but they don’t do that kind of talking.

“she’s leaving next week” rindou finally manages to choke out.

“what? what do you mean?” his brother asks, taken aback by the sudden information.

“her student visa’s expired. she’s gotta go back home until gets it renewed.”

it pains him to even think about it. he hasn’t eaten in almost fourteen days, ever since he found out. but what pains him even more is how excited you are about going back home. about going away from him.

he thinks it’s selfish, because he knows how much you’ve missed your parents and how much you’ve waited for a holiday that’s long enough to return.

“if the flights take four days in total and i want to stay for two weeks, then i’d rather not go anymore.” you always said. “i want to spend as much time as possible, without having to rush anything, y’know?

but maybe sometimes love is all about being selfish, loving someone with your whole heart. maybe he wants to never let you leave without him. maybe he can’t let you leave without him because he can’t stand not being an 8 minute subway ride away from you.

“don’t tell me you got some of those control issues, the pretty tiktok girls say they’re not cute at all…” ran comments, dodging an uppercut by a mere second.

“can you take me seriously for once? i think she wants to break up with me, she called me over today saying we have to talk.” rin frowns, blond-blue bangs covering his tired eyes. “i shouldn’t have believed that tiktok reading that said good news are coming my way.”

“you’re so fucking dumb, lord have mercy.”

“excuse me, ran?”

“you’re excused. let’s get this straight: does it really matter to you wether she’s oceans away or in meguro? what do you think she’s gonna do, break up with you only to return in three months and see you everywhere? do you really think y/n’s that kind of girlfriend? throw away three years BECAUSE OF A VISA?! fuck outta here with that insecure crap, rin. i raised you better than that.”

on the inside, ran smiles. oh, how he loves knocking sense into his younger brother. truly the best activity.

“now go and talk to her.”

rindou hesitates.

“i won’t say it nicely the second time around.” the older one threatens, and rindou jolts up from his chair and bolts through the door, house slippers still on, door wide open. before ran can say anything else, rindou’s voice echoes from the staircase into the kitchen:

“i’ll buy a new pair when i get back, don’t start bitching, please! i’ve got a girl i have to convince not to break up with me!”

his older brother laughs as he pulls out his phone.

sister in law

(16:22) he’s on his way.

then, a ping fills the empty space.

sister in law

(16:23) already talked to mikey. everything’s going great.

(16:23) love you, big head

(16:23)🫰

maybe ran’s not gonna tell you the reason rindou is running like a maniac through minato ward right now.

ugh, is his head really that big?

tagging: @h4nman BECAUSE YOU MADE ME CRY😡😡😡 ; @sirachano0dles <3 i might start a taglist if i make this into a multiple part fic?!?

218 notes · View notes

carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 6 months

Text

Steddie Upside-down AU Part 13

Part 1 Part 12

“Favorite song to listen to in the car?” Eddie asks. His fingers itching for a cigarette he doesn’t have.

It’s been quiet for a while, but Steve picks the game back up like no time has passed at all. “What’s the difference between that and your favorite song?” he asks.

Eddie scoffs. “Favorite song is meaningless,” he says. He’s reclined on the couch, feet dangling over the edge. “It’s gonna change, right? You don’t want to listen to the same song in the shower, as you want to listen to in the car, as you want to listen to alone at night, as you want to listen to while getting laid.”

Eddie bites his lip on the words, hadn’t meant to let that last one slip, but he keeps hearing Steve say, “I’m so in my body that I’m out of it.” He can’t stop thinking about activities more tawdry than sports that might have the same effect. His fingers twitch, and he tells himself it’s just for the same cigarette.

Steve hums, like he’s really thinking about it. “Don't Stop Me Now,” he says.

“Queen?” Eddie asks, shocked.

“What’s wrong with Queen?”

“Nothing! Eddie says, waving his hands in front of his chest. “I just thought you’d say like, Abba or something.”

Steve laughs. “Abba is for like, cleaning your house, man.” He flops down on the other side of the couch, hair mingling with Eddie’s in the middle cushion. The tops of their head’s brush. “When you want to make it a little fun, so doing the dishes doesn’t feel like the end of the world.”

“Hmm,” Eddie says, pushing down the thoughts of Steve Harrington dancing to Abba in his huge kitchen, those long yellow gloves housewives wear protecting his precious hands from wrinkles. “Well, why Don’t Stop Me Now, then?”

“It’s like, fast and upbeat sounding, right?” Steve asks. “But everything he says in it is like, a cry for help. He literally says he’s having a good time, but he keeps talking about how he’s a shooting star, and those things go out, man. He’s going too fast, and everyone’s just listening to him say not to stop him, but it's inevitable, and no one can see that.”

Eddie thinks about Steve’s parties, and the way his smile never reaches his eyes as he flounces around the school like he owns it. King Steve the shooting star. He doesn’t want to see the impact crater when he hits the ground, wonders if this is his cry for help.

“Plus, if you turn it up loud enough, the drums are pretty sick.”

Eddie laughs. “You like a good beat, huh Harrington?” Eddie asks, wiggling on the couch until he’s sitting upright, feet tucked under his ass, watching Steve struggle up just the same. They’re on opposite sides of the couch, like mismatched bookends. “There’s hope for you yet.”

Steve quirks an eyebrow, smiling with his eyes. “You gonna make me a mixtape, Munson?”

Eddie splutters. “Someone has to teach you the ways of Black Sabbath.”

“Oh?” Steve says, putting his chin in his palm, his elbow on his knee. “You’re going to educate me?”

Eddie feels the blood rushing to his cheeks. He has to know how that sounds, right? Harrington is known to have game. He has to know.

“Your turn,” Eddie says, covering his mouth with his palm when it comes out as a squeak. He moves his hand up a bit, covering his nose as well. Maybe he’ll suffocate and die, and never have to meet Steve’s eyes again.

Steve laughs, “Okay, okay, uhhh.” Eddie drops his hand, watches Steve pick at his cuticles for a minute before jamming his hands beneath his thighs. “Who’s your best friend?”

“Jeff,” he says. The name settles in his gut like hot chocolate.

“Tell me about him?” Steve asks.

“That’s a two parter,” Eddie says, waggling his finger, even as his throat constricts at the thought of his best friend. “He was the only person who was nice to me when I first moved here.”

Eddie can barely remember the scared kid with the shaved head he’d been, before Jeff had started sitting by him in class, swiping him a pudding cup at lunch, riding the bus with him.

“We’re in a band together now. And he plays D&D, too,” he says, smiling down at his hands. A pit has opened up in Eddie’s heart, and it’s in the shape of his best friend. He misses him. “He’s the best.”

Steve doesn’t comment on the way his voice comes out choked. “He sounds nice,” Steve says, quietly. He nudges the heel of his foot into Eddie’s thigh.

“What about you?”

When Steve doesn’t answer right away, Eddie looks up. Steve’s picking at his cuticle again. It’s bleeding a little at the edge. “Tommy’s been my friend since Kindergarten,” he says, glancing up furtively before looking back down. “And Carol since sixth.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, keeping his tone just as quiet as Steve’s.

Steve nods. “I love them,” he says, but it comes out like a bad thing.

Eddie nudges his foot “We’ll get back to them,” he says, hoping it’s the right thing to say. By the way Steve’s shoulder’s curl inward, like he’s trying to shield his heart, it wasn't the right thing at all.

Part 14

#steddie upsidedown au #steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #my fic

379 notes · View notes

cookii-moon · 2 months

Text

ok ok so. I had.i had this thought. And I think it’d be really funny but only in the right situations.

so imagine if Cole could feel vibrations through the earth, right? Since that makes sense, and a lot of animals can do that anyways. but he doesn’t clock it as a master of earth thing. So he thinks it’s just. Like that for everybody.

so imagine he’s like sneaking around with the group, and to them, they’re like, the stealthiest ever!!! But since they’re so close Cole can sort of “hear” the vibrations of their steps so he’s like what the heck guys youre not stealthy at all we’re gonna get our cover blown!!!!! Because. He thinks they’re being really noisy. But really it’s just him that can hear them.

And ofc the others would be sort of like. Dude. We’re not making a single sound!!!, because to them they’re being very quiet, and so it’s sort of shrugged off as just. A Cole thing.

but snakes can also feel vibrations. So when the serpentine come up, imagine if they can ALSO hear the ninja and are just like smh you’re not good at sneaking at all. And obviously they’re really upset about this but also Cole is just taking it as an opportunity to go “i told you so”, the ninja STILL can’t hear their own or eachothers footsteps so they have no clue what’s up, but whatever, we’ll trust Cole!!!!

AND THEN JAY GETS SERPENTINE’D. And for a short while he can ALSO hear vibrations. So he’s like. Really confused before he notices, like wow,,,, I guess I just wasn’t listening well before!!! And then he realizes he’s becoming a snake, but he doesn’t connect the two until he turns back and suddenly he can’t hear it at all, and so now he’s 100% convinced that actually he was always right and Cole was always wrong and that no that’s just a serpentine thing.

but see now he’s just confused as to why Cole can feel them, because at that point they aren’t aware that the elemental powers weren’t just their weapons, and Cole’s been feeling them since day 1, but the fangpyre only got released recently and Cole’s been perfectly normal for the entire time he’s known him so like, he’s definitely not bitten or anything, so now he’s trying to argue with Cole that, no, they’re not loud, they’re being very stealthy, that’s just a serpentine thing and APPARENTLY also a Cole thing, no he does not know how they’re connected, and ALSO that Cole was JUST as loud as the others and he knows that because he could feel Cole’s footsteps too for a short time so he has ZERO right to bother Jay about it.

And like eventually itd just descends into a feud between Cole and Jay on whether theyre good at sneaking or not and the others just. Don’t even know at this point. They can’t be bothered. And then obviously they’ve found out Zane is a nindroid, so he can measure seismic and acoustic sounds, so he’d literally be able to tell, except he couldn’t be bothered getting involved, so the entire argument goes on for several seasons, up until the point where Jay asks Zane to help them figure it out and he’s just like. No that’s just a Cole thing he’s just hearing seismic frequencies lol. And jays just like. “WELL WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US THAT EARLIER?????”

And like at this point they would know about their powers so Cole would be forced to admit that no, he wasn’t right, he can just hear seismic frequencies, and by some chance, the very first villains they faced were serpentine who can also hear seismic frequencies, but for completely unrelated reasons. But he doesn’t want to admit that he’s been wrong for several years, so instead he’s decided that actually he was technically right and they weren’t stealthy during the serpentine fighting era because the serpentine COULD feel the vibrations thus making them not stealthy.

the others have decided that this is the best they’re ever going to get.

#ninjago #ninjago cole #cole ninjago #lego ninjago #jay walker #ninjago jay #serpentine #ninjago serpentine #ninjago headcanons #i guess????#sorry if this is incomprehensible idk I felt the need to type it out #This has been a thought of mine for several days now I have to get it out there #Please #do you see the potential

108 notes · View notes

phfenomena · 3 months

Text

❝call it what you want.❞ || jack champion x reader

request- Jack champion x Reader where jack comes home for a bit and the goes on a road trip w his friends and y/n and jack and reader are best friends but ended up confessing there love on the trip 🙏

a/n: this is cute i actually really like this one please don’t flop

WARNINGS- driving, ocean, and the dark! let me know if i missed any <3

SHE ANXIOUSLY TAPPED her fingers on the steering wheel after finding the correct gate. she felt as if she was going to throw up, after only seeing his face on screens for years, she’d almost forgotten what he actually looked like. what he felt like. she was pulled out of her thoughts from the sound of the passenger door opening and she was met with jacks beaming smile.

“oh my god, you’re like actually here.” she says while opening her own door and trying to dodge the passing cars. she helped him put his luggage in the back of her car and turned to look at him. she grabbed the sides of his face in her hands and smiled so hard she felt as if her cheeks might fall off. “yeah, i’m like actually here.” he whispered and pulled her into a tight hug.

“they’re totally gonna freak when they see you, jack! we also decorated my house and might’ve thrown a welcome home party.” she whispered the last bit as she trailed off and unlocked the door. as the pair of teenagers walked through the hallway and flipped on the lights, all of their friends jumped out from behind furniture and screamed unintelligible words at the boy.

the music was quiet as it mixed with the soft conversations floating through the air, mostly friends asking jack about acting and how cool california is. he’d nod along politely but he wasn’t really listening, not when she was sitting across of him showing a friend something on her phone. she’d changed a lot, but he knew it was only physically. she just looked so much prettier in real life than through his phone screen.

“i vote we watch scream six!” “no, that’s so awkward! jack, what do you want to watch? you’re the guest here.” she whispered as she set her hand on his knee and looked at him with those oh-so-soft eyes he’d grown to miss. “uh, fuck, i have no clue, can we just scroll through until we find something?”

the group had somehow settled on watching the most terrifying movie jack had ever laid his eyes on, the conjuring, she laughed softly and teased the boy every time he covered his eyes or shoved his head into her shoulder. she seemed to be the only person not on the brink of tears. “how are you not scared? this is the scariest fucking thing i’ve ever seen in my life!” their friend asked, cutting through the silence of the room. “i don’t believe in ghosts, man. it’s cool cgi and stuff but it just doesn’t scare me.”

“i know what’ll scare you.” the movie had been paused and the group gathered on the floor. flashlights for each person laid on the ground. “we’re gonna play bodies bodies bodies, and i’m going to make it my mission to scare the shit out of you.”

the names of the killers had been pulled and the countdown had begun. she wandered throughout her dark house and grew uneasy at the feeling of being watched. she heard a creak in the floorboard behind her and whipped around with her flashlight, breathing heavily. “whoever that was, fuck you.” she whispered into the seemingly empty darkness. “i’m sure you’d like to.” a voice whispered behind her and she dropped her flashlight. she turned around and started hitting against jacks chest. “not funny, you asshole!” he laughed off the assault he was receiving and wrapped his arms around her to stop her from moving. “what do you say, we go hide in a closet and wait for a body to be found?” she narrowed her eyes at him and backed up, picking up her flashlight. “why are you trying to get me alone? so you can kill me and leave me all alone in the dark?”

she saw his perfectly white teeth as he leaned closer to her. “i wouldn’t leave you alone, i’d wait with your dead body.” she rolled her eyes and pushed him away. her mouth had opened to hurl insults before she heard the group downstairs yelling.

her childhood friend, jessica, lay motionless on the floor trying to stifle her laughter. “i haven’t seen jack the entire time, i ran into basically everyone but jack and you.” their friend pointed his finger at them, accusingly. “she was with me, i didn’t see her kill anyone.” jack replied in an almost over-confident tone.

the lights had been turned back off and she quickly beelined back up the stairs to hide in a bathroom. she could hear her own heartbeat screaming in her ears as she sat quietly. the door opened and she shuffled further into the tub and covered her mouth. the moonlight only allowing her to see a silhouette standing in front of the shower curtain, and they tilted their head to the right and slowly pulled the curtain back.

her eyes widened as she was met with jacks beaming smile and she relaxed before he squatted down and whispered “gotcha.”. he poked her knee and she was filled with shock and a minuscule amount of amusement. “are you kidding me, jack? you waited this long to kill me?” “you’re dead, you’re not supposed to be talking.”

the cars were filled with quiet and tired teenagers, most of them already back asleep. the only ones awake in the first van was the driver, jack, and her. she’d been staring out the window with her headphones on, watching the trees and streets she’d known for her whole life, pass by. jack had also been reminiscing, but about her. his eyes raked over every inch of her body as he thought about the years he’d missed, and how she’d grown and changed without him.

she turned her head and he quickly looked out his own window, failing miserably at not looking suspicious. he felt a light prod at his shoulder and turned to face her, she looked so gentle under her copious amounts of blankets and snacks littered on the car floor. “what’re you thinking about? you look serious, it’s weird.” his eyes gravitated to his shoes as he muttered out “just how much i’ve missed.” she furrowed her eyebrows and shot him a hopeful smile. “this whole trip is us making up for lost time, plus you were literally living out your dream. don’t feel bad about that.”

the van had parked at the rest stop and the original driver, jessica, announced she was tired of driving and wanted to switch. she lifted her head from jacks shoulder and adjusted to the light, “i can drive, jess.” and she found herself in the drivers seat trying to connect her phone to the bluetooth. she hadn’t even seen jack exit the vehicle until he was sitting comfortably in the passenger seat. she stopped her attempts at her phone and looked up at him. “jus’ thought you could use some company up here.”

the faint words of taylor swift were floating through the car but jacks loud voice was drowning her beautiful lyrics out. “the blood actually tasted really bad, i didn’t like filming those scenes.” she threw her head back laughing and the sun caught her perfectly. “you’re so pretty when you laugh” it was like his brain turned into mush and he forgot how to shut his mouth. “only when i laugh? that’s so mean.” she smiles while keeping her eyes on the road. “no! i mean like, um, you get what i mean, right?”

the vans headlights illuminated the beach house and the once sleepy and moody teenagers were suddenly happier than the elderly at bingo. as the rooms were being called and fought over, she silently slipped into the furthest room of the hallway and jack followed. “can i room with you? brent kicks when he sleeps.” he whispered and she smiled “yeah so do i, i actually do full martial arts routines when i’m sleeping. but you can totally room with me!” she jokes while she sets her bags on the floor and collapsing onto the bed, he always followed her. throughout whatever she did.

he shifted uncomfortably and as quietly as possible to avoid waking her. he honestly feels like he would’ve gotten more sleep rooming with brent, at-least brent isn’t a pretty girl he’s had a crush on for years. the moonlight barley illuminates the room, just enough to see out onto the beach.

the waves crashed so beautifully and naturally across the rocks as he sat on the shore just staring. thinking about how comfortable he was, how hungry he was, and her. always her. and as if god was listening to his prayers, she took a seat next to him. she clutched her cardigan tightly across her chest as they sat in silence.

“it’s weird having you back, you know? i got so used to being without you for years and suddenly you’re right next to me again, like nothing happened. you’re taller now.” she whispers out, it could almost be mistaken for wind cascading over the waves. “you grew too, just in ways you haven’t noticed. like, you don’t cover your mouth when you laugh anymore.” she nods softly and hums. “did you miss me at all?” he barley heard it. “a lot. especially when i had a bad day and you weren’t there to cook me dinner and let me talk about it.”

“i missed you too. nothing was ever the same after you left, and no one ever wanted to try my new recipes like you did.” he looks over at her after fighting the urge the entire time. “when i leave, would you go with me?” the air around them was so warm and inviting, they could’ve fallen asleep there. she nods and opens her mouth to but quickly shuts it while thinking. “can i tell you something?” he mutters a soft agreement and turns fully towards her. “but you have to promise it won’t make things weird between us.” he holds his pinky out and smiles. “i promise.”

“i’ve had like the biggest crush on you since we met.” their eyes bored into each others and she began to regret her confession. “i know. i have too, i’m really obsessed with you to a worrying extent.” her laugh cut through the silence and her head settled on his shoulder.

he felt as if they were the only people in the world, and in some ways they were.

#jack champion angst #jack champion fluff #jack champion x reader #jack champion #jack champion x reader fluff #ethan landry angst #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry smut #ethan landry#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry

128 notes · View notes

luci-in-trenchcoats · 11 months

Text

A Place To Call Home: Long, Long Time

Summary: While at the store one day, unexpected visitors from the reader’s past reappear. Sometimes though you should be careful what you wish for...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 13,600ish

Warnings: language, so much angst

A/N: This one’s a wee bit of a doozy!

__________

“Does mom like carrot cake?” you asked as you pushed the cart down the baking aisle. JJ shrugged as your dad picked up a box mix. “Guys. Focus. We’re here for ideas, not the mix remember?”

“Why does mom get a homemade cake and I don’t?” he asked, shaking a chocolate mix.

“Uh, your cookie cake was homemade, thank you very much,” said JJ. “What do you think I was doing at Y/N’s the night before?”

“You said you went over there for help with your math homework,” he grumbled, setting the box mix down.

“Oh yeah, she never comes over for homework help,” you laughed, your dad groaning. “He’s so sweetly innocent, isn’t he?”

“He really is,” she laughed as he grumbled, picking up a lemon box.

“Is seventeen when the sass comes out like extra hard? I’m sensing a theme developing with my children,” he said, JJ taking the box and putting it back. “Well…thank you for the cookie cake. I suppose we should do something homemade for mom then.”

“I vote for strawberry,” said Arrow from further down the aisle, Zeppelin rolling his eyes at her. “What?”

“Strawberry’s gross. It should be chocolate.”

“I second chocolate,” said your dad.

“I think we should do funfetti,” said JJ, Arrow quickly agreeing.

“You’re tie vote, tall munchkin. What’s it gonna be?” asked your dad.

“I’m going to have to go for-” You cut yourself off when you saw two figures further down the aisle by the flour, feet instantly taking you closer. You froze when you recognized them, their heads turning when they felt your stare.

“Uh, Y/N?” asked Arrow, your dad quickly by your side.

“Oh my god,” said the woman, her hands covering her mouth. The man was slack jawed as your dad grabbed your shoulders.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Who-” he cut himself off too when he looked at them properly, his eyes wide. “That’s not possible.”

“Uh, who are these people?” whispered Zeppelin in your ear as you and your dad just exchanged blank stares with the couple.

“This is Don and Brandie,” you breathed out. “My parents.”

“Your parents died,” he mumbled. “That’s not-”

“Is this your family?” whispered your dad. You nodded, taking a small step forward.

“This is really happening?” you asked. You felt a steady hand on your back and looked up, your dad’s green eyes still shocked but smiling down at you. “You see them too?”

“They’re real, kiddo.” You took another step forward and then you were in their arms, being smothered in a deep hug. Your head hurt. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made fucking sense.

But god did something inside of you heal at being in their arms once more.

Two Hours Later

You were jumping for joy when you got back home, your parents on their way over to talk through everything. It was apparently very long and complicated which you were sort of expecting considering you’d thought they were dead for the past nineteen years.

But an unsettling feeling overcame you as you watched your dad go to the back porch with a bottle of whiskey the second you got home. Your siblings were gratefully old enough to know how serious this was and decided to head to your house to bake the two different cakes they’d settled on.

Which left you alone with your dad for the moment.

You opened the back door, finding him looking out at the water, whiskey and empty glass on the table behind him. He was breathing heavily, your heart aching as happy as it was. You walked up behind him and gave him a hug, his body flinching at the touch.

“Don’t be stupid, dad. This just means I have two sets of parents at the same time. That’s all it means. Nothing else has changed.” You slid up under his arm, surprised to find him fighting back tears. “Dad?”

“You don’t have to do that for me, for us. Your parents are alive, Y/N. You don’t-” You grabbed his right side where his scar was with one hand, his bicep where his tattoo for you with the other. He blinked a few times, swallowing thickly.

“You are my father and Dee is mother just as much as Don and Brandie. You have never been second to them.”

“Y/N,” he whispered, forcing a sad smile. “They’re your parents. You can pick-Ow!” he said when you squeezed him hard.

“My parents have been back for two hours and you already think I’d walk away? Are you still scared that this is conditional love on my part?” His jaw dropped before he squeezed his eyes shut.

“TJ told you I said that a while back, didn’t he,” he said, voice ragged.

“It has always been unconditional. And you…with how much you love me, you’d let me walk away like that to make me happy, wouldn’t you?” He nodded, pursing his lips.

“We love you with all our hearts and that means letting you go where you’re happiest. If that was somewhere else, then that’s all I want for you.”

You caught his chin, forcing him to look at you, his green eyes wet with unshed tears.

“They will accept you and my family and understand that I am not picking a set of parents…or else they will make that decision for me.” He blinked rapidly as I smiled. “You’ve been my dad far longer then he was. We’ve been through some serious shit. There’s no walking away. You’re stuck with me for the rest of fucking eternity, understand? JJ and I are gonna make fun of you for like eons of the afterlife so-”

He hugged you tight, squeezing too hard but you didn’t really mind. “You okay, dad?”

“Just glad I’m still dad,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “You know that you could pick them and I’d never stop loving you, right? You don’t-”

“Dad,” you said, leaning back, catching his smile. “I know. Don’t worry. If they are the kind of people to force me to choose, I’m choosing you. Because I know you’d sell your soul for me. You’d let me go if that’s what I wanted. So please don’t worry. Please?”

“Okay, tall munchkin,” he said as the back door opened again, your mom stepping outside with wide eyes.

“Please tell me I didn’t miss them,” she said. You shook your head, pushing your dad over to her.

“Not here yet. Please calm down your husband. He’s being a worrywart for nothing,” you said, giving her a quick hug. “You know you’re always my mom, right?”

“Yeah…” she said, looking at your dad with a frown. “Oh don’t tell me he thought-”

“Yup. So please calm down my anxious father that I love very much,” you said, all three of you turning your heads when you heard the ding for the gate in the house. Your dad slipped past you inside, hitting the button to let them in and down the driveway. You followed after with your mom as she ducked off to the kitchen, quickly throwing some snacks on a platter.

“Do you want to talk to them alone?” asked your dad when you found yourself staring at the front door. Your race pulsed, breath quickening as memories flooded your mind. Memories of them hurt in the car. Of them dead. “Y/N.”

“No. I…I need you guys to ask questions for when I freak out that they’re…” you closed your eyes, your dad’s hand on your back. You crouched over, hands on your thighs as you breathed in deeply. “I feel like I’m going to puke.”

“We’re right here. You don’t have to do this by yourself,” he said, sounding like his normal self again.

“How can they be alive?” you whispered as he knelt down beside you, rubbing your back. “It’s not possible.”

“Obviously there are things that happened that none of us know. I know this is…” You forced yourself to look at him, swallowing when the doorbell rang. He tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling softly. “Just listen to them. You don’t have to decide anything or do anything right now. Just listen and we’ll all try to make sense of this.”

You nodded and let him help you to your feet, hanging back while he opened the door. They were in jeans, your dad a polo and light rain jacket, your mom in some kind of flowery blouse.

“Jensen,” said your birth dad, shaking his hand when he extended it.

“Don. Brandie,” said your dad, letting the two of them inside.

“I’m Danneel,” said your mom, scurrying over and giving them each a slightly awkward hug. It was quiet for a few seconds, the tension in the room overwhelming.

“Well this is awkward as fuck,” you said.

“Y/N,” said your birth mom with a stern face.

“I’m thirty years old. I swear now. I do a lot of shit I didn’t use to,” you said, voice harsher than any of you were expecting. Everyone stared at you as you sighed, your dad’s hand on your lower back and rubbing gently. “We should sit down and talk.”

“Why don’t we sit out back?” said your dad, guiding you over to the back door. “Would anyone like a drink?”

“I’ll take a glass of that if you’re offering,” said your birth dad, nodding to the whiskey bottle on the porch table. “I have a feeling we’ll need it.”

An hour later and you hadn’t said much. Your parents were asking your birth parents plenty of questions all while you slumped down in your chair, sipping at your second glass of whiskey. A quiet rage was building inside, the joy of finding your birth parents alive having worn off. Now, all you felt was betrayal. Scars they caused. Scars that took a long ass time to heal. So much pain you didn’t have to go through.

“Can we cut to the bullshit?” you asked, interrupting your birth dad, their four heated gazes on you once more. You narrowed your eyes as you drank, setting the glass down loudly. “So you saw a crime and were witnesses and the car accident was an attempt on your life, right? So let’s say I forgive the whole you two going into witness protection without me because hey, you thought I’d have a better life and would be safer not in it. You were way off base there but say I understand that because I’m a parent. I get it. You want your kid safe. I can get past all of that.”

You sat up in your chair, leaning forward with fury in your eyes, your birth parents both looking startled.

“You were only in witness protection for a few years you said. A few. So why the fuck didn’t you two come back and get me?” you growled. You felt your mom’s hand on your shoulder as your body started to shake. “I can forget the leaving me behind, no matter how much like bullshit that sounds like and I can believe that some of my memories of that night of the accident aren’t real because I know I hit my head and got hurt. But why did you leave me in foster care? I didn’t have these guys yet. I was alone and you left me alone.”

“Because…we didn’t trust the police,” sighed your birth dad, closing his eyes. “We didn’t believe that it was safe to make contact so we didn’t. You’d already mourned us. We weren’t willing…we stayed away to keep you safe. We thought you’d…the murder we saw, those were bad people. People perfectly fine with doing unspeakable things to a child.”

“We let you go so you’d be safe and if that meant never seeing you again, we were willing to pay the price. Only recently…” said your birth mom, squeezing your birth dad’s hand.

“The last of this group that we saw died a few days ago in prison. We live in Michigan and don’t have much so it took a few days to get down here but we came here to find you. We’ve seen online that…that you wound up with a uh, unusual family, but we knew you were still here in Austin and we came to try and find you. We weren’t expecting to bump into you in the store,” he said.

You sat back in your chair, closing your eyes as your mom kept rubbing your shoulder. “Y/N, we know-”

“You two don’t know jackshit about what happened to me,” you said, shaking your head, running your hands over your face, staring them down with wide, angry eyes. “You have no idea what my life has been like. You thought I was safe in foster care?” You scoffed.

“Y/N,” chided your dad but you shrugged him off when he rested a hand on your knee. “Y/N. Look at me.”

You ripped your eyes away from your birth parents, meeting his hard green eyes. “If I were in their shoes, I would have made a different choice and had you in witness protection with us but and I want you to listen to me, kiddo, really fucking listen.” You nodded as he inhaled. “If I thought the safest thing for you was to stay away from you, then I would stay, no matter how much you hated me for it. I can live with a pissed off daughter. I can’t with a dead one. You are a parent. You have a right to be angry but consider that line of thinking before you say something you end up regretting.”

“I…” you trailed off. You glanced down to your lap and sighed. Why did he have to have a point like always? You ran your hands over your face, your dad’s hand on you back. You forced your head up to meet your birth parents faces. “He’s right. You should have taken me with you. I wasn’t safe here. I would have been safer with you because my life was in danger in those places.”

You inhaled deeply. “But I understand you thought it was best. I don’t agree with it or understand how it happened but I get it. And…” you looked over your shoulders at both Jensen and Danneel. “And your choice put me through hell. But I also found a family I love and that loves me. These people are as much my parents as the two of you and you will accept the Ackles or…”

Your birth parents shared a quick look before your birth mom smiled and reached her hand across the table. You took it, surprised at how sweaty it was and the slight tremble to it.

“Your family is our family. Jensen and Danneel took care of you when we couldn’t. We will always owe them for that.”

“And it’s strange for us but we understand, we’re not your only parents anymore,” said your birth dad. You nodded, letting a tiny smile onto your face. “Can we come back?”

“Guys,” you chuckled. “I might get pissed and mad as hell sometimes but you can be part of my life. Of course you can. As long as you understand you gotta share me.”

“We are more than okay with sharing you,” said your birth mom. She stood a bit awkwardly and you took the lead, giving her a hug, your birth dad joining you both.

“Y/N! What’s with the-holy shit.” You glanced over your shoulder at TJ, eyes practically bugging out of his head. He started to form a sentence but stopped, eyes darting around the room. “Are those…”

“Yeah. It’s a long story. One I want to know more of,” you said, swallowing thicky. “If we’re allowed.”

Your birth dad smiled. “You can know anything you want to.”

One Month Later

“And we went out to dinner last night. I can’t believe they’ve never had seafood before!” you said. Your dad grumpily sipped from his can of beer, staring bitterly at the roaring fire in the pit before you. He’d been weird since you came over for dinner. At first you thought it was because TJ was driving the kids up to his mom’s for the weekend and was staying overnight. All three boys were supposed to go fishing in the morning but he wouldn’t be back in time when they were going at first light.

But your mom was being overly peppy too, her usual wit and dry humor lacking. Even when you’d brought up going shopping for a mardi gras outfit and saying she could go crazy on you this year, all she did was hum and re-wash the same plate she already had five times.

“You want another beer?” you asked, throwing a thumb over your shoulder, pointing back at the house.

“Bring down a bottle of bourbon. Strong,” he said, your mom waggling two fingers for glasses. You hummed and went up to the house, barely inside before you were grabbing your little brother in the kitchen and cornering him against the pantry.

“What’d I do?” he said, your sisters pausing as they came downstairs wearing hoodies. “Guys, Y/N’s got that murder look.”

“I do not have a murder look,” you growled.

“You’ve had a murder look since as long as we can remember. It normally means you’re upset,” said JJ, approaching your side. “If this is about the scratch on your car, I did it.”

“No, Zepp did it and I don’t care about that,” you said, closing your eyes. “You don’t have to protect them from me. That’s my job.”

“Yeah well, I’m almost eighteen so tough shit. I’m their big sister too,” she said with a small smile.

“Then what’s wrong?” asked Zepp, Arrow’s eyes widening in the background. “What?”

“Dad made me promise not to say. Like he told me to take it to my grave,” said Arrow. You crossed your arms, watching her struggle with what to do.

“Mom and dad have been weird around me all night. If you know why, I want to know.” She groaned, throwing her head back. “Arrow, what’s the secret?”

“Y/N,” scoffed JJ. “Come on. It’s obvious. Mom and dad might say they’re cool with your parents being back in the picture but they clearly aren’t. All you’ve done the past month is talk about how great they are and take them out to fancy restaurants and concerts and stuff. They know you’re paying for all of it.”

“Mom and dad buy stuff for me and TJ and the kids all the time even though we tell them not to. They know we have plenty. Besides, I haven’t seen my parents for over a decade and we want to hang out and do fun stuff like we all do with mom and dad.”

“That’s not the problem. Mom and dad are your parents, not the other way around,” said JJ, Zepp and Arrow taking the opportunity to head back outside. You pursed your lips when the back door closed, JJ stepping closer. “You want the honest truth? We don’t like them, especially mom and dad.”

“Excuse me?” You shook your head, JJ humming. “Mom and dad said they were totally okay and understood they had to share me. They’ve always had to share me.”

“Mom and dad are okay with it. But those people? They left you alone. You were abused because they left you on your own. Do you think mom and dad would have done that to you?” You saw red, furrowing your brow.

“They were protecting me. Mom and dad would have-”

“They’d have taken you with them and you know it. You’re way too close to this to see those people for who they are.” You shook your head, going to the liquor cabinet to get out a bottle, pouring yourself a double and knocking it back. “Y/N-”

“Think what you want, JJ. It’s so easy to know all the answers after the fact. All I know is that I am so damn happy they’re back.” You got in her face, bottle in hand, staring her down. “For the record, loving them doesn’t mean I love mom and dad or any of you less. They’re not some random stranger pretending to be my half-brother. They aren’t some weirdo coming out of the woodwork. These people raised me for ten years. They were good to me. You don’t have to like them but you will respect them, understand?”

She tilted her chin up, narrowing her eyes. “Follow your own damn advice and stop shoving in mom and dad’s faces about how amazing your birth parents are. They’re the people that have always loved you, even when you were a hot mess and had no idea how much your words hurt them. It’s really easy to love someone when they’ve got money and their shit together. Mom and dad got the fucked up version of you and they loved you for all of it. Your birth parents walked away from you before you went through shit. Do you think they would have taken you back when you were the mess you were the day you walked in this house for the first time? Because I know they wouldn’t have. They-”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything, little brat,” you snapped. Her eyes watered but she kept her expression stern, swallowing thickly.

“I don’t want you to get hurt again. And we’re all scared you’re going to and it’ll tear you apart.”

“Well you can stop worrying about me.” You shoved the bottle in her hands, bypassing her and heading for the front door. “Tell mom and dad I’m not feeling well.”

Ten minutes later you were at home, laying on the couch, hands on your face. You’d overreacted and knew it. They were worried about you. It wasn’t a crime on their part to do so. You sighed and reluctantly sat up, muttering when you caught your dad through the window, heading for your front door.

You met him as he went to reach for the door, his face unusually hard.

“Listen,” you said, not liking how he crossed his arms. You stepped onto the porch, pulling the door shut behind you. “I was on my way over to apologize so you can save it.”

He smiled, shaking his head, looking over the top of yours. You frowned when he scrunched up his face.

“You’re thirty years old. She’s seventeen. You know better than to fly off the handle like that.”

“That is not fair-”

“So you didn’t call her a brat?” You looked at your bare feet, closing your eyes. “Why the hell would you say that to her?”

“She was insulting my parents. Apparently, none of you care for them. Instead of telling me, you’re weirdly passive aggressive. Who knows better than to do that, hm?” you shot back. His chin raised up as he nodded once.

“We have never made one comment to you about your parents. Mom and I had a fight before you came over. That’s why we were both in bad moods. Do we like your parents? No, not particularly. But we respect them and so do you siblings. They were not insulted. Your sister shared how she felt and you took it as an attack.”

“You’re the one coming here to attack me right back,” you snapped. He stepped closer, gazing down.

“I came here to ask you to apologize to your sister. Me not liking your parents is not an attack. Not everyone has to like everyone. We don’t like Rick yet I don’t see you having a problem with that.”

“Rick was awful to TJ. This is so not the same.”

“Y/N,” he said, voice firm. “Let it go. Apologize to your sister and then spend some time with your siblings. They were looking forward to hanging out with you tonight.”

“Somehow I seriously doubt that’s true,” you scoffed. He shook his head, walking away down the path, suddenly stopping.

“You’ll find this out someday but when your kids get older, they realize their parents aren’t superheroes afterall. They’re just human. They lose that magic. But a big sibling? Shit, I still call my big brother when I don’t know what to do. You’re the one that when mom and me are gone, they’ll look to you. They’re all teenagers, kid. They know mom and me, we’re just human. But you will always be their superhero, even if they don’t say it.”

You sighed, curling your toes against the cold concrete.

“I wish everyone got along,” you said, your dad walking back up onto the porch. He put a thumb under you chin, urging you to look up. You wrinkled your nose when you found his green eyes, gentler now. “I feel like everyone’s mad at me for being happy.”

“No. No we’ll never be upset at you for having joy in your life. We are so incredibly happy to see you like this. But you know us. We’re overprotective and…I don’t agree with the choices they made when you were a kid. It angers me because I can’t comprehend leaving my child behind when there’s danger. So no, mom and I will probably never get over that. But we can try harder to get to know your parents. Mom and I will invite them over, let the four of us try and get to know each other.” You felt large, warm hands on your shoulders, rubbing up and down. “We’ll try. You always tried for me so I owe it to you to actually try with them.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly, letting him pull you into a soft hug.

“Please don’t expect your siblings to though. They will kind and respectful but-”

“I understand,” you said, breathing deeply. “All they see is people that left me.”

He inhaled like he was about to speak but quickly dropped it, stepping back. “Come back over when you’re ready. I’ll save you glass of bourbon.”

An hour later, and many hugs, things were okay between you and your little sister again. You understood her concern and she understood she hadn’t phrased things the way she’d wanted to. Currently, she was was sharing a lawn chair with you, sneakily taking a sip of your bourbon while you munched on a smore.

“I saw that,” said your mom, giving you both a side eye. “No hard alcohol until you’re twenty one.”

“They’re all talk,” you whispered in her ear, getting a laugh from her. “Dad’s going to give you your first beer when you graduate and after that? Pft, they’d be hypocrites.”

“I heard that,” he said, an arm coming down from above you, taking the glass away.

“That’s mine!” you said, watching him knock it back. “She had one tiny sip.”

“It was kind of disgusting,” she said, your dad feigning shock.

“Oh no. You’re going to be a wine girl, aren’t you. I may have to disown you for this,” he said to JJ, avoiding her trying to smack his arm. “You’re slower than Y/N too.”

“We can’t all be perfect,” you laughed, earning a ruffle on the head for it. When your phone rang, JJ took the opportunity to steal the rest of your smore, sticking out her tongue at you. You were about to say something back but you caught that it was from your birth dad. You slid out of your seat, walking away before answering. “Hey dad.”

“Y/N! I’m not interrupting am I? I know TJ and the kids are out of town so your mom and I thought maybe you’d want some company tonight.” You glanced over your shoulder, spotting five pairs of eyes staring back.

“I have plans. Sorry,” you said, your dad getting up and walking over. “Tomorrow night?”

“That sounds great. Your mother found this restaurant she’s dying to go to,” he said.

“Yeah, sure,” you said, your dad by your side, making a grabby hand. You handed the phone over, hoping it wasn’t a mistake.

“Hey Don, it’s Jensen,” he said, pausing for a moment. “No, no, everything’s fine. Dee and I were wondering if you and Brandie would like to come over for lunch tomorrow. It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other while Y/N spends some quality time with her siblings…no, no, we got plenty here to eat…one sounds great, we’ll see you here.”

He handed the phone back, letting you say a quick goodbye.

“Hey dad,” you said, shoving the phone in your pocket. “Thanks for inviting them over.”

“I didn’t do it for them.” He kissed your temple, throwing his arm over your shoulders. “Make me a s’more?”

“You got it.”

Jensen POV

“I thought we were going to enjoy our rare, child free, work free day by laying in bed,” Danneel whined from the kitchen. I sighed, rinsing some salad off in the sink, setting it in a bowl for lunch.

“I know but I promised Zepp we’d fish this morning.”

“You promised me we could have lots of sex. However loud we want sex.” I turned off the water, wiping my hands dry.

“Why don’t we ask Y/N to keep the kids tonight and after Don and Brandie leave, I will keep you thoroughly entertained this evening.” She walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. A ping went off, both of us groaning that our visitors were at the gate. “We promised we’d be nice to these child abandoners. Remind me why we said we’d be nice?”

“Because our daughter asked us to try,” I said. Even if they didn’t deserve it.

Maybe we were too pissed. Maybe we were acting like children holding onto a grudge.

But god, I’d rather die than leave any of the kids behind. If things were so bad we had to go on the run, you could bet my ass they’d be right by my side where they were safe.

Y/N had too many scars that would never heal all the way because of them choosing to do the easy thing and leave her behind.

And for that, I could never forgive them. But I could try to move past it, at least be friendly with them.

“Jay.” I turned my head, Dee standing close by, eyes worried. “You look like you could kill someone.”

“Just hate that everything Y/N went through could have been avoided,” I said, gripping the counter's edge. “She could have…”

“I know. We can’t change the past,” she murmured into the crook of my neck, holding onto me. “Them being back makes her happy.”

“We’ll just…try like we said we would,” I said as the doorbell rang. Dee left me to answer, taking a beat to put a smile on her face before opening it.

“Hi, guys,” she said, Don and Brandie entering with a bottle of wine and a leather portfolio. I bit back a comment. For some reason, that portfolio made me nervous.

“Thanks for having us over. We’ve been saying we mean to get together with you both,” said Brandie.

“We know it’s been a crazy month,” I said, nodding to head out to the back porch. A few minutes later we had some snacks on the table along with several glasses of wine.

And that freaking portfolio.

They weren’t thinking of trying to, I wouldn’t even know, adopt her back? For medical reasons? Was that even a thing? Maybe they were just looking for advice on where to live in the area?

“Jensen,” said Dee, patting my thigh. I glanced up, Dee very aware I’d been zoning out. “Don was saying he’s surprised Y/N isn’t using her architecture degree.”

“Oh well, maybe not in the traditional sense but she has been doing a lot more set design stuff lately. She’s getting a bit hands off with the brewery which is fine with us. Once we saw her doing design work, we could see how passionate she was for it. The brewery was a good stepping stone for her while she decided what she really wants to do. She and TJ do some occasional side jobs for design through word of mouth actually as well. He’s certainly more focused on staying with his firm but maybe someday they’d team up together, make their own business. Y/N’s been freelance but with all the filming work going on in Austin these days she’s actually just joined up with the union,” I said, clearing my throat when I realized how long I’d been going on.

“To be fair we were a tad nervous when she started to get involved with our industry,” said Dee. “It can be rough. But we’re really proud of how she’s handled herself. She doesn’t let herself get pushed around or backed into corners. She’s had some opportunities to get into other areas of it all but she seems pretty happy to stay behind the scenes which is more than fine with us.”

“I remember she wanted to be a cardiologist,” said Don, pursing his lips, voice a bit dry. “Surprised she didn’t do something more…academic.”

“The architecture program was no walk in the park,” I said, feeling a slight tension in the air. “She works hard.”

“I think that’s quite clear to both of us,” said Brandie, swirling her drink in it’s glass. There was an awkward beat, no one sure what to say.

“All of us care about Y/N,” said Dee, gratefully dissipating the nagging feeling that’d been growing. “Her life changed dramatically when you two were gone and bad things happened to her, things you guys couldn’t have anticipated. Her life isn’t what you or even she thought it’d be when she was ten but I think we can all agree she’s got a pretty damn good one now.”

“And you guys being back,” I said, glancing at Dee, feeling her hand squeeze my knee under the table, “We have a shot to make her life even better which I think is what we all want in the end.”

Don and Brandie shared a long look, something that made my stomach churn.

“We all want what’s best for Y/N, right?” I asked. Dee was gripping my knee hard, Don and Brandie having some sort of silent conversation before us.

“It shouldn’t be a hard question to answer,” snapped Danneel. I grabbed her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s just all take a breath,” I said, carefully watching Don put a hand on the portfolio. “To be perfectly honest, Dee and I, we don’t agree with the decision you made to not take Y/N with you into witness protection. We can’t fathom leaving behind our kids when there’s danger, especially knowing how it all turned out for Y/N. But Y/N asked us to try and give you a chance so that’s what we’re going to do.”

I turned to Dee, some of the anger leaving her as she nodded. “It’s just hard. I know you guys didn’t know what would happen back then and surely you had your reasons. Jay and I…we know we…”

“We would walk away from them to make sure they were safe if it came down to it,” I said, a flicker of surprise on both their faces. “But we wouldn’t have done what you did. From the little we do know, it sounds like you were all in danger. To us, you left Y/N vulnerable to the danger you ran from. That’s the part we could never do and that angers us. But I’m sure there’s more to the story, a story we’re not owed. But it sure as hell might help us to understand and get past it. For Y/N’s sake.”

Brandie leaned forward in her seat, resting her hands on the table. She glanced at Don who gave her a small nod.

“We know you don’t like us and that’s okay with us, really,” she said, strangely calm. “We get the feeling you don’t necessarily enjoy sharing Y/N which again, we understand. When you signed up for this, you thought we were dead. We know that.”

“We have a proposal,” said Don, sliding over the portfolio.

“What sort of proposal?” asked Dee as I flipped it open, scanning through the words on the page quickly. It didn’t make sense and I moved it closer so Dee could read. From the shake of her head, she didn’t understand it either. “What is this?”

“It’s a contract,” said Don, nodding at the stack of papers. “You two can remain Y/N’s parents with no interference from us. We’ll walk out that door and never speak to her or see her again. All you have to do is provide financial compensation.”

I closed my eyes, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. “Are…what?”

“We’ll stay away from Y/N in exchange for a payment,” said Brandie. I opened my eyes as Dee held up a hand, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry. I think there was a miscommunication somewhere. Jensen and I are not asking you to stop seeing Y/N. That would devastate her. We would never have her choose,” said Dee.

“Do, do you guys need money?” I asked. “I know you said you didn’t have a lot and you came down to Austin very quickly. We can help if you need it so you don’t have to go back up North. We…trust us, whatever our thoughts are on your past decision, we know how important you are to Y/N and we want you guys in her life. We can help you find a place down here or-”

“Jesus christ,” said Brandie, Don sighing, sinking back into his seat. “Are you two fucking idiots? I’m seriously asking. No wonder Y/N wound up choosing to be a set whatever over a doctor.”

Dee looked like a deer in the headlights and as much as I wanted to get angry for them insulting us, I had no fucking idea what was going on.

“Did we miss something?” I asked, Don tapping the sheets of paper in front of me.

“God, it’s good you’re pretty. Nothing in that head of yours, is there?” he asked, pressing his finger firmly against a bolded number. “Give us this much money and we’ll fucking leave forever, dipshit.”

“Do not speak to my husband like that,” growled Dee. I snapped out of it as she stood, Brandie and Don doing the same. I was on my feet and stepping in front of her without thinking, heart racing as Don pushed the papers closer.

“We know you have a lot and this is nowhere near that much,” he said, snapping his fingers at me when I furrowed my brow. “Do it or we take this to Y/N and tell her you tried to get rid of us.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” argued Dee, slipping out beside me, their voices growing louder as something clicked in the back of my mind.

“Hey, kiddo,” I said, knocking on the open door to Y/N’s room. She flinched in bed, sitting upright quickly, eyeing me cautiously. She hadn’t done that much recently. Only when I spooked her accidentally. I took the chance to sit on the edge of her bed, glad to see she didn’t shy away. “Dee said you had a rough day at school.”

“It’s Thursday,” she said, her face in a frown. “You’re supposed to be at work. Tell me you didn’t fly down-”

“I only had one scene first thing this morning. I got a long weekend so I came home early.” I tucked her hair behind her ear when she turned away, her head kept low. “I know Thursday is normally therapy with Dee but I’m going with you today.”

“I don’t want to go,” she sighed, shifting herself away. “Please don’t make me go today.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You don’t have to go if you tell me what happened at school and why it did.”

“I hate you,” she mumbled, putting her back to me completely. I stood up, quietly heading for the door.

“We’ll head out in ten minutes,” I said, shutting the door behind me. I closed my eyes, sighing when I found De in the kitchen.

“She say anything?” she asked.

“Nothing except she doesn’t want to go today and she hates me.” I pursed my lips, glad for Dee wrapping me up in a hug. “She’s still afraid of me.”

“She’s afraid of being abandoned again, not of you.”

“You don’t make her flinch,” I said quietly, resting my chin on her shoulder. “Four months and she’s still scared.”

“Four months of her having a father who loves her. Don’t you forget that because she sure hasn’t. You know how much she asks when you’ll be home when you’re gone.”

“Just wish she could say it to my face some day,” I mumbled.

“She will. You’ll be the one she tells everything to. Just be there for her,” she whispered. We broke apart just as Y/N came down the hall. She looked small in her oversized navy hoodie and black leggings, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. She hid it well but her slightly puffy eyes meant she’d been crying after I left.

“Can we go?” Y/N mumbled, going past and over to the front door. She pulled on her sneakers and ducked outside, Dee resting her head on my shoulder.

“She always feels better after therapy,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “Can you make that pasta she likes for dinner?”

“Sure thing. Go take care of our girl.”

I typically didn’t say much during our sessions. Normally we liked to let Y/N take the lead, it let her feel comfortable talking about important things in front of us her therapist said. It was a slow process but we were certainly starting to see it having benefits. She opened up quicker in sessions and at home she was more vocal. She had her quiet days but it was nothing liked when she first came to us and didn’t say much.

But today, today I couldn’t wait.

“What happened at school with the substitute teacher?” I asked the moment we sat down. Y/N crossed her arms and slumped down into her usual corner of the couch. “Y/N.”

“Jensen,” chided the doctor. “Let’s back up-“

“I got scared,” said Y/N, facing me full on, her big eyes on the brink of tears. “What’s the fucking point of all this if I’m going to be afraid of every adult man in my life. You can’t fix me so you might as well stop trying.”

“Excuse me?” I said, cutting off the doctor, Y/N’s face holding a scary amount of confidence.

“I’ve lived with you for four months. Four months. I’m still afraid of men. I told you you’re wasting your time on me but you won’t listen to me,” she said, sniffling slightly. She shrugged, her whole body exasperated. “Why are we doing this? It’s pointless. I’ll never be normal.”

“Y/N-” said the doctor as I held up a finger to him, his mouth snapping shut. Y/N frowned but kept eye contact, a tear slipping down her cheek. Somehow my heart ached for her even more than it already had. If only she knew how badly it hurt, I think she’d finally understand how much I loved her.

God, I had to let her know how much I did.

I scooted over on the couch, quickly wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. She inhaled sharply, tucking her forehead into the crook of my neck, burring her face against my shirt as she cried silently for a few moments.

“I’m sorry I don’t have the right words to say to make your fears go away,” I whispered, her body starting to relax beside mine. “But know that you were never broken. It’s been awhile since someone’s loved you so I know it’s funny to get used again. But I will always, always, love you.”

“You feel sorry for me,” she whispered, keeping her head down under my chin. “That’s all it is.”

“I feel sorry for a lot of people. You have never been one of them.” That got her attention, her head slowly raising so she could look me in the eye. I wiped off her cheek, smiling softly when she wrinkled her nose. “You’re a badass with more guts than anyone I’ve ever met. Why on earth would I feel sorry for someone so fucking amazing?”

“I got scared at school with the substitute teacher, so scared I cried when he yelled at me. How the fuck can you say this is even remotely working?” she asked. I smiled, glancing down between us and back up.

“You used to be afraid of me. How’s that working out?” I asked. She sighed, glancing away.

“You don’t count. You’re different.”

“How?” I asked. She groaned, swearing under her breath. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re…you, okay? You’re just…” she pursed her lips, closing her eyes. “I know you love me. You tell me everyday and call everyday even when you’re in Canada and…if you were going to hurt me, you’d have done it by now. So it’s not you I’m worried about, okay? It’s everyone else.”

“Okay,” I said, rubbing up and down her back, her head falling back to my shoulder. “So why’d the teacher yell at you?”

Y/N sighed. “I was asking Kelly what page he said to turn to and he yelled at me that I should listen better. He wasn’t even that loud. I don’t know why but it scared me.”

“Isn’t that a phrase your father used when you were a child?” asked the doctor, flipping back through his notebook before nodding. “Yes, in one of our first sessions where we discussed your birth parents discipline methods in comparison to different foster parents we said that was one of your dad’s methods.”

“The whole we’re not mad, just disappointed thing,” said Y/N, nodding with a sigh. “Never thought I’d end up missing that.”

“I’m sorry that must have been one of the sessions Dee was at,” I said, shaking my head. “I remember she gave me the run down but I don’t think we talked about what Y/N’s parents used to do.”

“Like I said, they’d do the disappointed thing,” said Y/N, sitting upright, peeling away slightly but remaining close. “I have my period right now. I know I’m more…sensitive to stuff when I’m on it too.”

Nearly an hour later, Y/N was feeling better but I was most certainly not. I made an excuse about needing to talk to the doctor about insurance, telling her to head out to the truck without me.

“Doc,” I said when we were alone, a concerned hum coming from him as he went back to his desk.

“You’re quite perceptive, Jensen,” he said, setting our session notebook on his leather desk mat. “Why didn’t you push it when she said her parents used disappointment as a discipline style?”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked, crossing my arms, lifting my chin. “You make us talk about all sorts of shit. She’s talked about getting the shit beat out of her but you don’t push this. Why?”

“We both know Y/N puts on rose colored glasses when it comes to the past and her birth parents. Now we will never for sure but my gut says her birth parents weren’t as perfect as she makes them seem.”

“No parent is perfect,” I said, watching him take a seat in his chair.

“True. But there are difference between good and bad. Again, this is conjecture, but based on comments throughout different sessions, I do not believe her birth parents were all that great. Yes, Y/N is afraid of adult men but that has toned down significantly in only a few short months. I think the phrase triggered her in school today, not the teacher.”

I sat in the chair across from him, rubbing my hands together. “It could have been one time he yelled at her as a kid though. We just don’t know. Y/N’s never said anything about her birth parents doing anything to her.”

“It’s just a gut feeling, Jensen. I’m not saying they were abusive, not at all. Just that, behaviors are learned from a young age. Just keep it in mind in the future in case she ever says anything more about their punishment style,” he said. I nodded, glancing down to my lap. “She has made remarkable progress in a few short months. Try to remember that.”

“I just…it breaks my fucking heart to hear her talk about herself sometimes. I wish I could make her see what I do.” The doctor tapped on the keyboard for a moment as I took my cue to leave.

“Jensen,” he said when I was standing. He gave me a gentle smile, one he normally reserved only for Y/N. “You’re her safe place whether you agree or not. What you’re doing with her, it is working. Someday she’ll come to realize that.”

“Thanks,” I said. He hummed, tapping on his keyboard again.

“I’ll send you and Danneel all of our session notes going forward so we can avoid missing things in the future,” he said. I went to leave when he called me one last time. “Jensen?”

“Yeah?” I asked, fishing for my keys in my pocket, realizing Y/N already had them.

“Try not to worry so much. She’s in good hands with you guys.”

“We’ll do our best.”

I stared at Don, noticing Dee was in a full on shouting match with him and Brandie.

“What is wrong with the two of you!” shouted Dee. “You can’t just abandon your child because you have to share her with us!”

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty cause-”

“Oh.” All three of them stopped, giving their attention to me. I slowly stood, feeling the bile rise in my throat. It was too much of a coincidence.

The way Y/N had overreacted to her teacher back in school only confirmed what my gut had been trying to tell me all along.

“You two never wanted Y/N in the first place, did you?” I asked. Brandie sighed while Don rolled his eyes. “You left her behind on purpose. You never wanted to be parents. That’s why you would snap at her as a kid. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Danneel sat down, her face pale as it dawned on her.

“Tell us the truth,” I said. “Tell us the truth and I will give you what you want.”

“Jensen-“

“Be honest and I’ll give you what you so clearly want.”

Brandie frowned, crossing her arms after a moment. “Fine. We never wanted kids. Our parents were the ones that wanted them. Y/N was a mistake but our parents insisted on us having her. They even changed their will and made it a requirement to get the full amount. So we kept the mistake. Then they went and died not long after she was born and we got stuck with her. End of story.”

“She is not a mistake,” growled Dee, bite in every single word. “If you didn’t want her, you should have given her up for adoption when she was a baby.”

“It took years to get through the fucking litigation for who got what from her parents estate,” shot back Don. “By the time we had our money, she was too old. So when the chance to leave came, we took it.”

Dee was staring in horror at the two of them while I breathed slowly. “That’s why you left Y/N behind. That’s why you waited years to make contact. You don’t want her. You never did. You want her money.”

“But witness protection…” said Dee, shaking her head. “How would they let you go without Y/N?”

“It don’t work like the movies,” said Brandie, still frowning at us. “She had a head injury. We couldn’t stay and she couldn’t leave the hospital. It wasn’t difficult to convince them to have us relinquish custody when there were odds she had head trauma. Now give us our money and you can have her all to yourselves again.”

I pushed the portfolio across the table, narrowing my eyes. “I’d rather die than give you disgusting people a cent. You kept her for money. Money. Did you ever even love her?”

“How many times do we have to say it? We don’t give a rats ass. The brat should be grateful we even left her the little we did in a trust for her. Money now or we tell her you tried to pay us to leave. We all know who she’ll believe.”

“Get out of my house,” I growled. “And stay away from my daughter.”

“Good luck with what happens,” scoffed Don. In under a minute, they were gone and I shakily sat down, hearing the sound of a car taking off.

“Jensen,” Dee breathed out after a long few moments.

“I know.”

“If she finds out how her parents feel about her-”

“I know.”

“She thought they were the only ones that ever loved her. It’s how she survived on her own as long as she did. She’ll be devastated.” I nodded, closing my eyes. “It’s worse than her worst fears. God, Jay. We were the first people in her life to love her unconditionally. She’s going to come apart at the seams.”

“I know,” I whispered, gut churning. I put my head in my hands, fingers gripping my hair too tight. “We have to show her the tape from the porch camera.”

“Why?” she asked, her arms wrapping around my waist. I laughed dryly, shaking my head.

“Honey, the second we tell her about her birth parents, she’s going to doubt us. She’s going to doubt that we won’t turn around and abandon her too. It will kill her but she has to watch the tape.”

She sighed but agreed. Unfortunately, we barely had the thing pulled up before Y/N was storming into the house, face scrunched up.

“What the fuck is going on? Did you guys seriously try to bribe…” she trailed off when Dee turned her head away, wiping at her face. “What happened?”

I didn’t know where to start. How do you tell your child the people they’re supposed to always be able to depend on never wanted you in the first place? All I could do was glance at the computer, Y/N moving and hitting play before I could come up with any words.

Dee and I were dead silent as she watched the five minute conversation, Y/N’s face unreadable. When it finally ended, she shut the computer slowly, staring at the countertop.

“Y/N,” I whispered. “Mom and I love you. We love you so much. Please believe that.”

When her eyes met mine, I swear my soul tore in half. The light was gone from her eyes, replaced with that cautious trepidation from the day we met her.

“Y/N, honey, we-” said Danneel, stopping when Y/N put her hand up.

“I need to be alone right now.”

She was out the door fast, leaving us standing there, no clue what to do next.

“She doesn’t trust us anymore,” whispered Dee beside me. I wanted so badly to tell her she was wrong, that this was a gut reaction on Y/N’s part and it’d blow over.

But that was a hope and a prayer at this point.

“She needs space so let’s give her space,” I said, pulling her into a hug, holding on too tight. “It’s not us that broke her heart. It’s them and she knows it.”

“You’re an awful liar,” she mumbled. “She thinks we’re going to hurt her too so she’s going to pull away and you know it.”

I wished it weren’t true but I knew Y/N too well. Whatever she felt for us was now shrouded in doubt.

And there was nothing we could do to tell her how wrong she was.

Reader’s POV

One Month Later

“Momma,” said Allie, skipping as we walked around the block and down to my parents house. Honestly you didn’t even know what they were to you anymore. You loved them but it was complicated.

Your birth parents were dead as far as you were concerned. You told them off and hadn’t seen or heard from them in two months. It was fine with you. You’d lived most of your life without them already and you weren’t putting up with any shit ever again.

But your adoptive parents, Jensen and Danneel…you’d barely spoken a word to them in a month. Allie and Colin still spent plenty of time with their grandparents but there was no more hanging out at their house. No more at yours. Your siblings were confused and angry with you. TJ was suffering silently at the loss of his two parental figures. Any and all communication went through him.

You knew he texted them sometimes but he kept things vague. He loved them but loved you more and tried to respect your boundaries when it came to discussing you.

You weren’t even sure why you’d assumed Jensen and Dee would be like your birth parents. Logically you knew you shouldn’t have done that. You knew they loved you.

But it was tainted. Instead of feeling warmth from that knowledge, all you did was sick. Someday, somehow, they’d end up fucking you over and you wouldn’t be able to put yourself back together after that. It’d been hard enough with your birth parents after all. Only recently had you started to feel somewhat okay again.

“Momma! It’s Jay!” she squealed. You refocused on the road, startled when he was at the mailbox. His heard turned at the sound, looking as shocked as you did, quickly hiding it when Allie let go of your hand and ran up to him, hugging his legs. “Hi Jay!”

“Hi pumpkin,” he said, returning the hug. He picked her up and twirled her around for a moment before setting her down. “Remember to hold mommy’s hand when you’re walking in the road, okay?”

“I know,” she sighed dramatically. “But there were no cars! I looked!”

“Well stay with mommy until you’re older,” he said, booping her nose.

“Can we play?” she asked. He glanced at you. You gave a short nod, Allie quickly taking off down the driveway and heading for the bucket of chalk in the garage.

“I’ll pick her up in half an hour,” you said. You started to leave when his fingers wrapped around your wrist. His face was pained as he released you.

“Can we talk later? If you have time, I mean.” You looked down at your feet, sighing slowly.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I’ll be back in a bit to get her.”

Two nights later you were laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. TJ was quiet beside you, the kids put to bed nearly an hour ago.

“You okay?” he asked. You shook your head, grateful when he pulled you into his side, face scrunched up. “You can go talk to them and end this anytime.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” you spewed back at him. He tensed for a moment, guilt riddling your veins. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious. You’re scared everyone was pretending to love you, not just those assholes.”

“Not everyone,” you mumbled. “Just them.”

“Why do you doubt them? You heard them on the tape. They love you,” he said.

“But what if they change their minds?” you asked. His fingers gently grasped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Every parent I’ve ever had was a monster that didn’t care. Why are they any different? I just haven’t met their monsters yet.”

“You can keep choosing to believe that. I’ll be right here if you do. But you’re in pain. You have to move on from them or let them back in. Those are your only choices.”

“I know.” You sighed and sat upright, wiping off your face. “I’ll be back in awhile.”

“Stay as long as you have to,” he said, kissing your cheek.

Three minutes later you were in your parents driveway, ready to go inside and have a very awkward conversation. You weren’t expecting to hear music the second you got out of the car though. You wandered around to the back of the house, spotting your dad by the small porch by the path down to the dock. He was plucking at his guitar, singing softly, only a few string lights offering any kind of light in the dark space.

You froze when you recognized the song, feet planted firmly in the dewy grass.

“I’ve done everything I know, to try and change your mind. And I think I’m gonna miss you for a long, long time. Cause I’ve done everything I know, to try and make you mine. I think I’m gonna love you for a long, long time,” he sang quietly, words just barely reaching you. After a few more strums, he set the guitar down, his head going into his hands.

Quietly you walked over, standing at the railing, not looking when you felt his gaze on your back.

“I’ve been so afraid of you and mom hurting me too when I’m the one that walked away. I’m the one that fucking hurt you.”

“Y/N, that’s not-”

“Look at yourself,” you said, turning around, waving a hand in his direction. “I’m a grown woman. You can admit that I hurt you.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring out at the dark water. “One time when you’d been here about, three months or so, we made plans to go to that food truck day downtown. Just the two of us. It was a Sunday in February. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah?” you said, standing by his side, risking a glance up to find his focus on the water. “I remember mom got mad at us cause we ate way too much and we had reservations to go out for some charity thing that night.”

“Ah,” he chuckled. “See, you remember the weekend we went. We were supposed to go the weekend before but I had a con I’d forgotten about. I remember calling you to tell you that Friday afternoon I wouldn’t be home that weekend. You told me don’t make promises that I had no intention of keeping. You were pretty sure I lied to you. We got into a pretty big fight about it. That day? That day you hurt me. You tore into me, called me names, all because I was human and made a mistake. Even when I said we’d go the next weekend. That hurt. What’s happening right now? Honey, I miss you like hell but you haven’t hurt me. You’re not doing this to me. Fuck, you asked for boundaries while you work through something that literally no one deals with. No one. I’m proud of you for knowing to ask for what you need right now. Do not think that I’m hurt.”

You closed your eyes, lowering your head as you rested your arms against the railing.

“I’ve been hiding from you and mom because I’m scared. Don’t be proud of me for being a coward.” You felt his shoulder brush against your arm, his tall body solidly beside you.

“Tall munchkin, you are many things. A coward isn’t one of them.” A light gust of wind tickled your face, followed by a gentle finger pushing your hair behind your ear. “I know you threw them out of your life for good. I know what you said to them. Don’t blame TJ for telling us. He and I made a little pact a long time ago that we have your back-”

“Would you just stop?” You forced your eyes open to find his mouth snapped shut, a curious yet pained look on his face. “I’m an asshole. I cut you and mom out of my life, out of TJ’s life, for no reason at all. Because I’m scared when all I saw on that tape was you and mom defending me, being disgusted with my birth parents. You did nothing wrong and still I’ve treated you like you’re going to turn into monsters too. So stop being the strong dad for one fucking minute and just be honest. I’m an asshole and you know it.”

His eyes casted down to his feet, a long, quiet sigh slipping past his lips.

“Honestly, I’ve always hated that I had to share you with another set of parents. I hated it because no matter how good a job I did, mom did, how the fuck were we supposed to compete with people that were dead. The good ones. The ones where you got to have a normal childhood filled with love and none of this other shit. But then when you were a teen? Well mom and I realized it wasn’t as peachy fucking keen as we thought. Your birth parents were assholes sometimes but fine. It’s hard being a parent and maybe they weren’t perfect but maybe they did their best. We couldn’t know for sure and you were such a good kid that they must have done a pretty decent job with you. But still, we hated it. Hated being second best. We would always have the asterisk next to our names. No matter how much you told us you loved us, there was always a chance you’d stop trusting us. And that fucking happened because of those assholes. I wish they’d stayed dead. I wish they’d never come back at all because you’re ours. You’re my daughter. Mine.”

His face was hard, jaw clenched. “I hate that I’m the first person in your life to love you unconditionally. I hate it so damn much. You shouldn’t have been alone for so long. If I could have taken you at that airport when you were a little girl and kept you, I would have. If I could go back and do it differently, I’d sell my soul to. You’d never have doubted for a second you were loved. I’d give up anything for you and I don’t know how I get you back. It’ll never go back to how it was and I can’t stand it. I want my daughter back and I have no idea how to get you to trust I’m not the monster but that guy that protects you from them. I know I fucked up with your birth parents but give me another chance. Please give your family one more chance.”

You stared at him, watching him swallow thickly. He turned his head away, looking back to the river with a sigh.

“When I was eight, we went camping,” you said quietly, watching a light ripple in the water below. “We went on a hike but it wasn’t a trail or anything. My parents said they had to use the bathroom and took off. But they didn’t. They left me in a forest. Alone. I was lost for a few hours but somehow made it back to our camp. I really liked stories so I’d snuck some bread and made a little trail like in the fairytale. Ended up following it back. When I got back, my dad was so angry that he spanked me until I was black and blue. I thought they were angry I got lost and wandered off. That’s what they told me. But…it was black bear season back then. They tried to get rid of me and they were so angry I had the audacity to come back unharmed.”

“Why’d you never tell us?” he whispered.

“I didn’t understand what that day was until two months ago. That was the first thought that popped into my head as I watched that tape in the kitchen. The monsters had always been there and I didn’t realize.”

You waited a beat, inhaling the spring breeze.

“Every father figure in my life either beat me or emotionally neglected me. Until I walked in that house, not a single man protected me. Cole did his best and I am grateful to that man for going above and beyond but he was never my father. I was his job. A case.” You swallowed, a gust of cool wind hitting you both. “I know you’re closed off sometimes. I know it’s like pulling teeth to get an honest emotional response out of you.”

He nodded, forcing himself to look you in the eye.

“There’s this show where this guy stops the monsters,” you breathed out, his face scrunching up slightly. “And they say family don’t end in blood in it. And it doesn’t start there either. And that guy, he’s not always great at expressing his feelings but he feels really deeply, more than he lets on. Because he has a good heart and a good soul.”

He nodded slightly, inhaling sharply. “That’s the kind of guy that I’d want to be my dad if I got to pick. He’s not perfect but he’d protect me from the monsters and love me and that’d be enough. I’m not greedy.”

“He sounds like he’d be up for the job,” he whispered.

“I think so too,” you said, offering a smile. “She’s kind of a handful sometimes but she’s her father’s daughter after all.”

“He doesn’t think that at all,” he said, nodding to himself. “He thinks she’s pretty fucking amazing.”

“That guy would be a pretty fucking great dad,” you said, shrugging your shoulder. You sniffled, his gaze turning even more worried. When you just smiled back, he looked so lost. “But I picked you instead if that’s okay.”

He finally smiled, nodding his head with a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, that’s okay with me.”

“Good. You’re the only dad I’ve ever had so it’d be a shame to have to change it now.”

“I’m not the only…” he trailed off when you raised your chin, wrinkling your nose. “Okay. Dad position is mine. Understood.”

“You and mom were always my favorites,” you said, a surprised look on his face. “Kids know when they’re loved and when they aren’t. Just forgive me for being an idiot and not having this conversation sooner?”

“I do. I can’t blame you. You take after your idiot father after all,” he chuckled. You bumped his arm, his own falling over your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. He hugged you, hard, kissing your forehead as you felt him inhale deeply. “I was really your favorite dad?”

“You were my favorite since that night in the rain on my birthday,” you said quietly. You buried your face in his chest, his head resting against yours. “I used to feel really bad about it. But not so much as I got older. Now, I should have listened to my gut. My head got scared but my gut never has been. I’m sorry for pushing you guys away.”

“It’s okay. I was getting ready to go over your place and force this discussion anyways,” he said, his body relaxing. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop the monsters this time.”

“Daddy, I was always going to get hurt but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. On that tape, I saw you and mom trying to protect me. That is all I’ll ever ask for. Dean couldn’t always stop the monsters either but he sure as shit tried.”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured. “I see your point.”

You both turned when you heard a thud, your mom standing about halfway down the lawn, a bottle of wine currently sitting in the grass from her opened hand.

“Go hug your mother. She needs a conversation too,” he said, patting your towards her. But you grabbed his hand, tugging him along after you as she stood there, her face blank.

“Hi mom,” you said, her eyes glancing over to his. “Does it help if I say you were my favorite mom?”

“I was?” she breathed out, watching your dad nod with a big smile.

“I mean, you still are. Honestly between you and him, you wonder where I get it from? Pfft. I get it though. You make the mistakes on the first kid, right?” you said, instantly wrapped up in a pair of arms. “I’m sor-”

“This is all I needed,” she whispered, holding on tight. “Did daddy convince you to trust us again?”

“No. I don’t think I stopped in the first place. Just had to stop being scared long enough to remember you guys are the ones I can go to when I am. After that I just felt sorry for him. He was singing Linda Ronstandt.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “He’s been playing it every night for weeks! Thank god you’re putting us out of our suffering.”

“I see the everybody ganging up on me thing is still happening,” he said, throwing his long arms around you both. “I missed that.”

“You missed it?” you asked as he started to shake his head. “Aw.”

“I missed nothing,” he said, snuggling you harder. You felt your mom pull back, the two them sharing a look for a beat before turning towards you. “Mom and I would like to discuss something with you.”

“It was something we were going to do to try and win you over,” she blushed, a wide smile spreading on his face. “But we’d still like to do it, with your permission of course.”

“Alright. What is it?”

You woke up the next morning in your old room which was quiet surprising as you distinctly recalled last being in the family room. When you trotted into the kitchen wearing a pair of old pajamas and your mom’s hoodie, you found your dad at the stove, humming lightly as he worked on a quiche.

“Morning,” you yawned, hopping up on the counter top and stealing his mug of coffee. You winced when you took a sip of the black coffee, a quiet chuckle slipping past his lips. “Cream.”

“Bad for your heart.”

“But it’s good for the soul which is good for the heart,” you said, taking another sip. “Besides, you put way too much in. It’s called a splash for a reason.”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he said, glancing down at himself. “I’m trying to bulk up if you couldn’t tell.”

“I thought you were just walking around in sweats and no shirt cause you had sex last night.” His eyes widened as you took a long drag of coffee, your grin growing behind the ceramic as he started and stopped a sentence more than once. “I’m not judging. It’s good to keep active in your senior years.”

“I’m fifty four you little shit,” he said, taking his mug away and knocking it back like a shot. He shook his head a few times, going back to the eggs in the bowl. “How do you even know that?”

“Mom got a little tipsy one night while doling out marriage advice,” you teased, watching him shudder. “Apparently you guys go at it like rabbits-”

“This is not a conversation that is happening at barely nine in the morning,” he said, JJ coming downstairs with messy hair and her usual morning pout.

“Why are you talking so loud?” she whined. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Dad didn’t know we know about his morning after sex outfit,” you said, a pair of green narrowed eyes aimed in your direction.

“Really? It’s been obvious since I was like, eleven. You guys smash like, a lot-”

“Girls!” he said, ditching the whisk in the bowl of eggs, hands on his hips. “Enough!”

“Alright, alright,” you said, giving him a moment to relax. “Good for you for that it’s still working down-”

He grumbled and grabbed you off the counter with one arm, scooping up your sister in the other and carrying you out to the back porch.

“What’d I do?” she asked as he set you down on the bench at the table, giving you both a stern look.

“You two haven’t spoken in nearly a month. Now talk,” he said, pausing at the back door. “For the record, your mother is right. Having regular fun with your partner is fun. And your mom thinks I look hot without my shirt on so there.”

“So does a margin of the population,” said JJ, shaking her head. “Something wrong with those people.”

“Agreed,” you said, getting a warning about getting no quiche before he left and shut the door after himself. The fan was on overhead offering a slight breeze in the warm morning air. She shifted away slightly, pursing her lips while she stared at the set plate in front of her. “I understand why you’re angry at me. I went radio silent on mom and dad and I get it. I hurt them and you didn’t understand why.”

“I knew why. We all did. The part we don’t understand is why would you assume mom and dad are going to ditch you too? We never did anything wrong to you and still you assumed we’d be like every other bad person in your life.”

“Because your sister has trauma, honey,” you heard from behind, a cup of slightly creamy looking coffee being set down in front of you. You turned, watching him rub her back as he put a cup of orange juice down for her. “It doesn’t disappear. It just gets quieter. Your sister’s got loud again and it takes time to make it shut it’s mouth.”

“She didn’t have to be such a jerk about it,” she mumbled. He glanced at you, a question in his eyes. You nodded with a smile, his hands resting on her shoulders as she sighed.

“You turn eighteen soon. Try to imagine if for your whole life, not a single person loved you. If mom’s screamed at you to wait on them hand and foot. If dad’s pushed you and hit you and made you afraid to sleep at night. If you were alone your whole life and then finally, right now, some family popped up and said, we’re not like those other guys. We pinky promise! That is a scar that doesn’t heal, kiddo. Your sister fights that feeling that we’ll turn on her like all the others have. She had a moment of weakness which she is more than entitled to. It’s our job to tell her we love her when that happens, not get angry with her. Understand?”

She nodded, glancing at you quickly. “Sorry. I forget stuff happened to you sometimes. You just act so normal.”

You knew your dad was giving you a smirk for that one without even looking.

“Yeah. Most of the time I am, I guess.” You turned in your seat, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you supposed to be making us quiche?”

“Ungrateful children,” he said, ruffling both of your heads. “You two relax and catch up. It’s going to be a bit.”

Ten minutes later you were getting a refill of coffee while your siblings were attempting to toss grapes in each mouth’s on the back porch. The quiche was in the oven and TJ would be down soon with the kids to enjoy a nice breakfast with everyone.

“Y/N,” said your dad, now wearing a light t shirt, his phone in hand as he exited his bedroom. “You still okay with mom and me doing that thing?”

“Yeah,” you said, chuckling when you heard her snore from the room. “Mom said letting your spouse sleep in sometimes is equally as healthy for a marriage.”

“That’s a pretty good one,” he laughed, tapping his phone a few times before putting it away. “Alright. It’s out in the world if you want to take a look.”

“Later. I trust you,” you said, bumping his arm. He ruffled your head once more before following you outside, clasping his hands together.

“Who’s team am I on?”

You laid in bed late that night, staring at your phone as you leaned back against TJ.

“The post your dad put up was pretty touching,” he said, rubbing your shoulders.

“It was. They’ve never hidden me but they’ve respected my privacy. But they wanted to do it as a gesture about how much I mean to them. My parents said they’ve never made a birthday post for me or adoption or anything like my siblings. They just wanted to put it out there how much I mean to them.”

“And the donation thing?” he asked.

“I told them they had to wait until my birthday unless they were willing to put up a link to that fund that helps prospective adoptive parents with legal fees. So naturally they got that sorted out before dawn,” you laughed.

“Still. You could have taken the praise all for yourself for once you know,” he said, kissing the top of your head.

“You know I don’t like to be gushed over,” you said, his hands swatting the phone away and instead wrapping around your waist.

“Really? Never noticed,” he said, sliding out from behind to hover over top of you. You smiled, getting a peck on the nose. “You’re happy again. I like that.”

“Me too,” you whispered, closing your eyes when he kissed you gently. “Me too.”

________

A/N: Read the After Shocks Timestamp here!

#jensen x daughter!reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x daughter!reader #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #daughter!reader #daughter!reader series

297 notes · View notes

esther-dot · 5 months

Note

I'm sorry, that's gonna be a really weird ask from one jonsa stan to another but I'm genuinely curious - is there any anti jonsa argument/claim that actually made sense to you? I'm really asking for the sake of, well, civilised discussion - because if there are arguments there ought to be reasonable counterarguments. And all that I see is the same tired old crap - "she's not his favourite sister" and "but they are relatives!" and all the other stuff. Given, of course I'm not hanging around jonry@ and jon@erys side of this fandom (dark things happen to any sansa and jonsa stans there) and have no idea if they have any reasonable metas. Or maybe if there was a moment that made you actually question possibility of jonsa happening in books? (once again - because I'm anxious like that - I'm not asking this to disprove something or make people question jonsa but because I wonder if you personally had this sort of experience).

Thank you and hope you're having a nice day!

No worries! I enjoy looking at things from different angles, so I don’t mind at all. Unfortunately, I haven’t read anti jonsa stuff that isn’t exactly what you described, so I can’t actually have the convo you want about this. I tried to go to some jonerys blogs but their anti tags weren’t what we’re looking for. There’s a blogger people view as neutral who other Sansa fans/Jonsas put on my dash, and a BNF who people I follow also reblog from, so I went over to their blogs to look around and they’re less rabid, but I can’t say they offered though-provoking pushback. I’ll share some snippets though, in case you’re interested.

There was the old "but their siblings" argument:

I, ah, I do not think Jon marries Sansa in any scenario. Regardless of biological relationship, they think of themselves as siblings. The people around them are also quite likely to consider them siblings or as good as, having been raised as such (see also Theon being accused of kinslaying over his apparent murder of Bran and Rickon). Nor do I think either would be in a rush to go back to the traditional “but the Targaryens practiced incest,” again considering that their society is strongly anti-incest. Jon and Sansa were raised together, in the same house, as brother and sister, and that makes a material difference.

But you know, raised as siblings and please nobody try the “but they weren’t close” with me, that’s so not true.

It’s interesting to see someone say they were close, that’s not something I’ve seen before. I suppose my biggest issue with this line of thought is that it feels true for a generic fantasy maybe, but hardly convincing when talking about ASOIAF? Martin wants to talk about incest. So far, we have all the bad, abusive variations covered. I think he’s gonna work some shades of grey into it the same way he tries to do with everything he discusses, and to pretend like he would never feels disingenuous to me. Even if he ultimately abandoned the initial draft, from the author’s mind came the idea of a Jon / Stark girl romance. He has entertained it. Secondly, Jon is a Targ and it’s reasonable to expect that to manifest somehow, or at least, for Jon to experience the fear that there’s something latent there. And third, if we’re gonna get a romance, I think Martin would write it with the complexity and inner struggle that he writes everything and fauxcest offers him that opportunity, not to mention all the parallels it would allow as well.

Let's see...I also saw that they object to the Beauty and the Beast reading of Jonsa:

And I've been searching but apparently I never posted the rest of my "Bear and the Maiden Fair" thoughts, but that's the in-world Beauty and the Beast story. Through that and looking at bears elsewhere in the story, you can track this idea of the beast not being a monster, but being perceived as one by society, an outcast, which is why the Hound, Tyrion, and Jon all fit the role/are related (in a way), and why Jon will be the final suitor or real bear/beast.

The next one, I’m just gonna post the whole thing:

I’m not sure if the best part is the implication that Jon/Dany (which they believe is inevitable) have what’s required to allow for “quick deep emotional connections” or if it’s reading the Hound insult and threaten and then finally put a knife to Sansa’s throat and deciding “romance! chivalry!” The Hound may be disillusioned, but the fandom has got to stop pretending like some of his espoused beliefs aren’t self-serving, a defense because he is a monster. We have Brienne and Jon showing us different versions of knights, true knights, so acting like the Hound is in the right is just bizarre.

Anyway, no, I’ve not read an anti argument that made me doubt it. I do doubt what Martin is aiming for at times, so I’ve vacillated between potential paths/endgames for them over the years, but the anti arguments generally are coming from a reading of characters and dynamics that’s disturbing to me which means I’m usually alienated, not compelled.

#dot chat #jonsa #anti asoiaf fandom

57 notes · View notes

marie-swriting · 7 months

Text

Confession Of Love - Jake "Hangman" Seresin [1/2]

Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

Part one - two (French version)

Summary : You've been seeing Jake for four months but you're still not officially dating. It's going to happen soon, though, right ?

Warnings : Jake is an asshole (it's not against him, I love him, I swear), angst, cheating, alcohol consumption (be careful with your alcohol consumption), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.7k

Song inspiration : Foolish One (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

you take the new arrival of books in the box next to you and put them in the correct shelves. You pay attention to place them in alphabetical order and sometimes, you take a look at the back cover, adding then a new book to your - long - to be read list. You set the last book of a saga in its place when a masculine voice comes behind you.

“Sorry, would you have a book on how to apologise after cancelling a date last minute ?”

“Jake !” you exclaim, taking him in your arms. “What are you doing here ?”

“I felt bad about yesterday. Those are for you.” he says, breaking the embrace and handing you a big bunch of red roses.

“Oh, thank you ! They’re beautiful.” you smile, pecking his lips, “But I already told you it was okay. You were tired because of your day at work, I get it. We can always plan something another time, like tonight for example. My shift ends at 6:30 P.M, you can come pick me up at seven.”

Hope can be heard in your voice on top of nervosity. Jake and you can’t see each other frequently because of his job as a naval aviator and he’s also often hanging out with his friends. You’re aware it’s normal for Jake and you to not spend every single day together though, two or three times a week would be a good start you think.

You look at him, waiting for his answer impatiently but as soon as you hear him sigh, you guess his answer. Even if you expected it, you can’t help but feel disappointed.

“The problem is I already told my colleague I would spend the night with them.”

“It’s okay. You can send me a text when you’re free.” you affirm, forcing a little smile.

“Perfect. I’m not gonna bother you much longer. See you.” he says and kisses you.

You lovingly watch Jake leaving. Once he’s not in your line of sight anymore, you smell the roses and your disappointment leaves your body to let affection take over. It doesn’t matter if he wasn’t able to have some free time for you that night, he always makes sure to make it up to you like today. You stay in your bubble and walk in the direction of the backshop to put the flowers down. You find a container to put your roses in when your colleague Cora blows your bubble.

“Who gifted you those roses ?”

“Jake. They’re pretty, aren’t they ?”

“Wow, he must feel ashamed about a lot of things.” she comments, gazing at the flowers while you put them in the makeshift vase.

“Not at all. Why do you say that ?”

“Like they always say, the bigger the bouquet, the bigger the guilt.”

“No one says that.” you state, frowning.

“He cancelled again, didn’t he ?” she says, her question sounding more like an affirmation.

“He has a good reason.”

“I bet he does ! I don’t understand how you can still be with him. If my boyfriend was always cancelling dates, I-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” you interrupt her, avoiding her gaze.

“What do you mean ?”

“We’re not really dating.” you inform and she gives you a look so you quickly add : “We’re taking things slow. Jake can be on a deployment any day so we don’t want too many strings attached.”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’ve been with a guy for more than four months, you go on dates, you kiss, you sleep at each other’s house but you’re not official ? He’s worse than I thought. I mean, Y/N, don’t forget about his reputation ! Jake doesn’t do serious relationship. And just to prove it to you, has he finally presented you to his friends ?” Cora asks and you stay silent. “That’s what I thought. Why are you still with him ? He’s going to break your heart just like Logan.”

“He’s different !” you say, angry by her words and the mention of your ex. “Look, you don’t know him and you know nothing about my relationship with Jake so stop giving me unsolicited advice. I’ve learned from my mistakes, I know what I’m doing.”

On that note, you pass by your colleague and go back to your work. While you keep reorganising the books, you can’t prevent yourself from thinking back to your conversation with Cora. You know she didn’t mean any harm but you’re annoyed by the way she thinks you’re too foolish to know how to handle your love life on your own. You’ve known men… stupid ones, to stay politically correct, however you know better now and Jake has proven to you he’s different from your exes. It’s not because he cancels a lot of dates that he’s a bad guy. He is a nice guy. You’re sure of it.

At the end of the day, you take back your roses and bid Cora goodbye without adding anything else, still pissed off by her words. Upon arriving at your place, you put the roses in a real vase and set it on your dinner table.

That night, you spend it alone eating, watching Pride And Prejudice. As you’re watching it, you can’t help but melt because of Mr.Darcy’s confession of love to Elizabeth. You’re waiting for the day where it’ll be your turn, the day where, like those cheesy romances you read, you will get your confession full of love by the love of your life. You know you look like a hopeless romantic but you grew up with this idea of great love stories where the man is perfect and you’ve been searching for him since your teenage years. Maybe Jake will be this man and he’ll confess his feelings to you soon. You like him a lot and you wish you could share the future you have in mind with him.

Once your movie is over, you take your phone and check your notifications. You haven’t received anything. Not a call, nor a message. You thought that maybe Jake would send you a text to tell you about his day or at least say some nice words but nothing. Radio silence. It should be a good sign he’s having fun with his friends and yet, you can’t stop yourself from thinking this silence sounds like some bad signs ; he doesn’t seem to miss you. Sure he’s with his friends, you know he’s not spending his night on his phone though, a text wouldn’t be too much ! With mixed feelings, you put down your phone and start watching another romantic movie.

During the whole night, you keep checking your phone without any change. When you go to bed around midnight, you keep on sighing and your mind starts thinking back to your relationship with Jake and to doubt it.

Once you’re laying down on your bed, you glance one last time at your phone and when you see nothing new, you groan and aggressively put your cellphone on your nightstand. You change position in your bed and try to fall asleep, in vain. You toss and turn and yet, you don’t seem to be comfortable enough and your mind who is currently overthinking doesn’t make things better. This lack of message from Jake hurts you more than you care to admit. One thing is certain, you won’t get your love confession tonight. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten ahead of yourself so much ? Maybe your relationship with Jake won’t last ? Maybe there was a little bit of truth in Cora’s words ? You shake your head, hoping to get rid of these voices who start to make you more puzzled. If you discuss it with Jake, surely the situation will get better. Right ?

At least, you feel like the situation gets better the following week. You haven’t really talked with Jake but you’ve been able to see each other more often.

Today, you spend the afternoon together. You don’t do anything special. Jake just came to your apartment and you stay on the couch watching movies and talking about random things.

Your head on his shoulder, you think you were right to trust Jake. When he has the time, he’s the perfect… boyfriend ? Partner ? Friend ? Whatever the word may be, he is perfect. You never argue and your conversation knows no awkward silence ; everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. You even feel like you’re getting closer and closer to the moment where you’ll finally be official. You’ll finally be able to call him yours and you’ll be able to share more than some hours here and there with Jake. You can imagine a whole future with him, that’s why you want to believe so hard that what you have is something good, despite the particular circumstances.

As soon as it’s getting late, Jake gets ready to go back to his house. From time to time, he stays to sleep at yours however when he has to wake up early the next day, he prefers to go home, his apartment being closer to his workplace. Once he’s set to go, Jake walks to the door while you follow him, tiredness visible on your face.

“Send me a message when you’ve arrived.” you say, yawning and Jake tenderly looks at you.

“I will.”

“Can we see each other next Saturday ?”

“I’ve already got something planned with my squad at the Hard Deck.”

“And do you think it’d bother them a lot if I came with you ?” you ask with a small voice before embarrassment catches you. “Sorry, it was rude. I shouldn’t have invited myself like that. It was stupid. I… Tell me when you get home. Good night.” you exclaim, ready to close the door but Jake stops you.

“It wasn’t stupid. Actually, I’ve been thinking of introducing you to them for a long time now.”

“Really ?”

“Sure. We’ve known each other for four months, it’s normal for you to meet them. I’ll pick you up and we’ll spend the whole evening together.” he states, putting his hands on your cheeks.

“Perfect.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Jake gives you a smile before pressing his lips on yours. Your kiss only lasts a few seconds and you enjoy it as much as possible, celebrating this new milestone in your relationship. You’re still not official, nonetheless he wants to introduce you to his friends, you’re on the right track. Once Jake breaks the kiss, he tenderly strokes your cheek before turning around and walking away. You watch him leave then close your door, a goofy smile on your face.

When you get to the Hard Deck, Jake’s arm around your waist the following Saturday, it’s not a goofy smile you have on your face anymore but a nervous one. You know Jake is close with his colleagues and you want to make a good impression. You hope with all your heart this moment will go well. For you, this is a key moment and you can’t allow yourself to make a wrong move.

As soon as you find the group of people wearing Khakis, except one man is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, your hands become a bit more clammy. Jake quickly introduces you to every member of his squadron and you do your best to remember their names. For now, you only know Natasha’s name, as she’s the only woman. Jake proposes something to drink and judging you need to relax, you ask for a beer. He kisses your cheek before going to the bar, leaving you alone.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” Natasha starts with eyes wide open. “When Bagman told us he wanted to present us to someone, I thought he was joking. I never thought he was the kind of guy to settle down and I have to admit, I’m surprised to see you can put up with him.”

“Once you get to know him, he lets the arrogance go and you realise he’s a nice guy.” you respond, laughing.

“Hangman said you two met four months ago, right ?” Bradley questions.

“Yes, at a café. I had just gotten my coffee when Jake bumped into me and, long story short, he offered me a new coffee with his number on the cup.”

“I see he still knows how to make a good first impression.” Natasha jokes. “What do you do in life ?”

“I work in a bookshop. I’m paid to be surrounded by books, I couldn’t have dreamed of anything better.”

“That’s so cool ! I should come sometime. I haven’t read a new book in a long time.” Bradley informs you and instantly, your eyes shimmers with excitement.

“Oh ! I can give you recommendations if you want. What genre do you prefer ?”

Ensued then a conversation about your favourite topic : books. Bradley tells you some titles he likes, novels he’s been meaning to read for years and you listen to him with passion. You give him a whole list of authors and books to check out and he writes them down on his phone. Thinking you might have some other recommendations for him later, you ask him to give you his number. At the same time you’re saving his contact, Jake comes back to you and puts his arm around your shoulders.

“You’re not stealing her from me, aren’t you Bradshaw ?”

“We were talking about books, a subject you might not be familiar with.” Bradley retorts and Jake smirks.

“Oh no, she talks about it all the time. You haven’t finished getting new suggestions.” Jake says, faking desperation in his voice.

“Hey ! You’ve discovered good books thanks to me.” you defend.

“True. Anyway I’m going to play pool. You’re good here ?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Jake smiles at you before going to find his friend at the pool table. You stay with Bradley, Natasha and Bob, who just came next to you. You keep getting to know each other and you feel better, realising you don’t struggle to fit in - you’re not really the social butterfly, preferring your books more than people.

As the conversation goes on, you learn that Bradley is a good pianist and you ask to see him play. He doesn’t need to be asked twice and walk to the piano before playing Great Ball Of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis. Natasha, Bob and you sing with him and you’re quickly followed by the other people in the bar. Jake comes to you and sings by your side and sometimes he spins you around.

Once Bradley finishes the song, you laugh with your new friends, glad to realise you’re having a good time. Jake asks you if you want something else to drink and you inform him you haven’t finished your beer yet. He tells you he’s going to grab another drink, leaving you for a moment.

“Natasha wasn’t joking when she said you were an outstanding pianist ! Very good choice of song, by the way.” you compliment Bradley.

“It’s my favourite. My dad used to play it when I was a kid. I have good memories with this song and my parents.”

“I can see that. Your parents seemed to be cute together.”

When you talked earlier, Bradley quickly told you about his parents and you have to admit the way he speaks of their relationship, it looks like a story from one of your favourite books.

“They were !” Bradley confirms with nostalgia. “Maybe too much. I’d like a relationship like theirs.”

“I’m sure you will. You seem like an amazing guy. You deserve a love story as beautiful as theirs.”

“You too.”

Bradley smiles at you before talking about his pianist skills while you’re searching for Jake next to the bar. You expected to see him with a drink in hand, but it’s a vision of Jake with a woman who has her arms around his neck that you find. Your eyebrows furrowed, not knowing who this woman is and why she’s so close to your… to Jake. Jake gets rid of the woman’s arms then tells her something. He comes back to you at the same time where Bradley excuses himself to use the bathroom.

“Who was she ?” you question, not giving him the time to start a conversation.

“Who ?”

“The woman who was literally in your arms.”

“Oh, huh, I don’t know. She tried to flirt with me but I told her I was already in good company.” Jake explains with a flirty smile yet, you stay sceptical. “Y/N, I swear I don’t know her. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not. I’m curious, that’s all.” you lie.

Not fully convinced by your affirmation, Jake put his hands on your cheeks before leaning in and kissing you with passion. Even if you still have some doubt, Jake’s kiss helps you to calm down.

However, it’s really during the following weeks that you feel much better. Jake is being more present, casting away every doubt you have in mind. He’s managed to have some free time for you and you’ve even spent three days together, something never done before in your relationship. This time, you’re sure, everything is alright. Everything Cora told you or even everything you thought was fake. No matter what people say about Jake and his love life, you are the exception. Jake cares about you and he’s honest. Your relationship has a real future.

You’re so over the moon that you’re not as sad as usual when Jake tells you he can’t spend the evening at your place because he’s exhausted. You wish him a good rest before reading your book again. You’re in the middle of a chapter when you receive a message from your friend Laura who you haven’t seen in months. She asks you if you want to come to the bar next to her place. As you miss your friend, you accept without a second thought before getting ready.

Once you arrive at the Scented Sky bar, you have a big smile on your face, impatient to meet Laura. Once you leave your car, your eyes find their way to a vehicle not too far away who looks like Jake’s. At first, you think it’s just a mere coincidence then you pay attention to the licence plate and recognize that it is Jake’s. Instantly, you frown. You don’t understand how he can be there when he told you he wanted to sleep, not to mention the fact this bar is far from his place.

You keep searching for a rational explanation while you go to the bar. Before you walk through the door, you glance at the window and your eyes get teary at what you’re seeing. Jake did lie to you. He is at the bar and far from being tired as he presses his lips on a woman, the same woman at the Hard Deck he swore to you he didn’t know. The world is crumbling down your feet as you’re looking at them kissing passionately and being in each other’s arms. Tears are running down your cheeks and you can’t stop them. You want to go in and insult Jake with every bad word you know yet, the shock is so strong you turn around and go back home, trying to understand what you just saw.

When you close your door, you lean on the wall before sliding down and bursting into tears. You have your head in your hands, totally desperate and angry, not only at Jake but at yourself too. You wonder how you couldn’t see the signs. Now that you think back on it, you realise that, indeed, every element was in front of you : he keeps an emotional distance, he never uses pet names, you’re never his priority and so and so forth. You thought you found someone honest and you feel like a fool as you realise it isn’t the case. You should have listened to Cora, you should have listened to your instinct. You thought you learned your lesson, especially after your relationship with Logan, apparently you still have a long road ahead of you.

Once your sobs calm down, you stand up and throw yourself on your bed, not really taking the time to change your clothes. You stay there, laying on your back, staring at the ceiling, without understanding what’s happening. In the end, you are not the exception. As always. And you never will be. You will never have your love story, your confession of love, your happily ever after.

Your phone notifying you of a new message interrupts your downward spiral. You take it and when you see it’s a text from Jake wishing you a goodnight, you want to answer him with a long paragraph, explaining how much you hate him. However, you don’t have the strength so you delete his number and block him on your social media. You feel lighter but still miserable. You don’t want to see him ever again.

Your wish is not granted. You’ve been able to avoid Jake only for a week. Despite all your efforts, Jake forces the hand of destiny by coming to your workplace. You see him entering the bookshop but you keep working, pretending to be too busy. You don’t even react when he’s in front of you. Your lack of reaction confuses Jake. He expected you to throw yourself in his arms and yet, he is taken aback by your silence.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me.” he starts with a big smile, “I saw you weren’t answering my texts and I can’t reach you on social either, weirdly, so I got worried. Everything okay ? Are you ignoring me ?”

“I don’t know, did you give me a reason to ignore you ?” you question looking up to him, forcing a smile.

“Huh, no. I mean, I don’t think so.”

“Then no, I’m not ignoring you. You’re such a nice guy, I don’t see why I’d want to ignore you.” you exclaim, ironically.

“Ok, I’ve missed something. Can we talk about it ?”

“I don’t want to talk to you !”

“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I think I deserve at least an explanation. I mean, we’ve had something for four months.” Jake demands and this is your last straw.

“In the back shop. Now.”

Because of your authoritative tone, Jake doesn't dare to make an inappropriate comment and follows you while you go to the backshop. Cora looks at you from afar, completely confused by the angry expression on your face - you haven’t told her anything about your discovery, feeling too ashamed.

Once you close the door behind Jake, you cross your arms on your chest and glare at him.

“So, what’s up ?” Jake casually asks.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you start, trying so hard not to scream, “I thought you were too tired so why were you at the Scented Sky ?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t try to outwit me ! A week ago, I asked you if you wanted to come to my place to which you gave me the stupid excuse of “I’m too tired to come”. And yet, when I went to the bar, I saw you, in great form.”

At your last sentence, Jake’s eyes widen, panic visible on his face. His brain tries to find a rational explanation however before he can say it to you, you quickly add.

“And do I need to specify you weren’t alone when I saw you ? You were with the woman from the Hard Deck. You know, the same woman you didn’t know at all. And not to mention you were kissing her.”

“I have a good explanation,” he fastly says.

“Oh yeah ? Which one ?”

Jake stares at you and chooses his words carefully before speaking, as if he was in front of a wild animal. He never saw you mad before. He didn’t even think it was possible so he doesn’t know the way you could react if what he says came out wrong.

“She was flirting with me again and before I could react, she kissed me.”

“I just told you I saw and you keep taking me for a fool ?” you retort, shocked by his lie. “You were the one who pressed his lips on hers, your hands were on her hips ! How can you think I’m gonna believe what you’re telling me ? How could you do this to me ? I thought we had something !”

“I…”, he stutters before starting with a calm voice, “Look, I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship, nothing was official between us and-”

“And I get it !” you cut him off sharply, “But It doesn’t give you the right to make me believe you care about me just for you to go see someone else. You know, if you had told me you weren’t ready for a relationship and you wanted to meet other women at the same time, I would have told you I didn’t want that and we would have called it quits ! You haven’t been honest with me when I’ve given you everything ! You’ve betrayed my trust just like the others.” you sigh, your eyes getting teary.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I swear I had the best of intentions.”

“If that is you with the best of intentions then I don’t want to imagine how you’d act if you didn’t care about the person ; you’ve ruined everything. You’ve taken me for an idiot for months and you have no remorse about it ! All I did was defend you, repeat to everyone you were someone nice and you’ve proven to everyone you live up to your reputation and that I am the stupid and desperate woman who only sees the best in the worst guys. Tell me honestly, were you even gonna tell me one day you didn’t want anything serious with me or were you gonna let me guess it by ghosting me ?” you question and Jake doesn’t answer. “Your silence says it all. I can’t believe I could have thought you were good. But, at least, you were useful for something. I had to learn to listen to my instinct when it tells me to walk out from a relationship instead of persisting. Thanks to you, I’ve finally learned my lesson. I hate you, Jake.” you pronounce, staring him right in the eyes. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Y/N, wait-”Jake tries to say.

“No ! Leave and never talk to me again.”

Jake doesn’t add anything and leaves the room without looking back. Once the door is closed, you let your tears run freely down on your cheeks. You sit down, not having enough strength in your legs when the door opens once more, letting in Cora. She doesn’t wait before taking you in her arms. She affectionately strokes your back while you’re sobbing.

“I didn’t know what I was doing. You were right, Cora.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“He’s the stupid one here, he doesn't know what he’s lost.”

Cora’s words should be comforting and yet, it makes you feel worse. Jake might not know what he’s lost but you sure do know what you’ve lost, time, love, energy and above all, trust. You know you’ll need time to heal from it.

And indeed, you need several months before you can spend a day without thinking about Jake. Now you can finally start to move on. This relationship, though short, has left a trace in your heart, just not like you wished. Since your split-up, you’ve decided to put yourself first instead of waiting for a man to show you his love. You need to understand what you want and what you deserve in a relationship and you can only do that alone. You need to know how to exist and to love without depending on the gaze of a significant other.

For the first time in your life, you are your own priority and you feel good as a single woman. You wouldn’t be against the idea of living your epic love story one day but you are satisfied with your current life. You’re self-sufficient and that is the most beautiful confession of love you could ever have.

Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Part two

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

127 notes · View notes