#reblogging again for the culture

[campgender]

Whenever a player safewords, this is an occasion for mutual support. We understand that nobody safewords from a happy place, and that all of our egos feel frail and kind of runty when we need to back out of a scene. It is completely unethical to respond with scorn or ridicule to a person who has safeworded: S/M is not a competition, we are not playing against each other.

As tops, we have noticed that if we are having a good time and our bottom safewords, our initial feelings may not be happy. Whaddaya mean you don't like that? I do all this work and you don't appreciate it? I'm hot for being in control and you want me to stop? We have felt real anger and felt challenged in our top role... and, on a deeper level, we have felt put down, hurt and rejected. It is okay to have these feelings. It is not okay to act on them. Take three deep breaths and everybody start taking care of each other.

Sometimes bottoms get so deeply engaged in a scene that they fail to safeword, or forget, or so profoundly believe in the fantasy that it doesn't occur to them: many of the techniques we play with, like interrogation, function in the real world to undermine volition. Dossie remembers a scene in which a top offered her a choice of something or other: "I felt very confused. Some distant part of me vaguely remembered having made choices, but the response from my state of consciousness at that time was, Choose? I am not a thing that chooses." So then what is the top's responsibility?

If a bottom does not safeword and you don't pick up on what's going on, and this will happen if you play long enough and well enough, there is no blame. However, it is still your responsibility to monitor for physical safety as best you can. As ethical tops we make a commitment to never knowingly harm our bottoms. To this end we check in regularly to make sure that things are going the way we think they are, and we constantly monitor the physical and emotional safety of our bottoms. If a bottom is beyond safewording, and you as the top feel unsure about how far you should go, it is your responsibility to slow down or stop the scene and get into communication with the bottom to make sure you have informed consent. If you have to bring the bottom back into reality to do this, please remember that you helped get them into that altered state in the first place, so presumably you can help get them back there again as soon as you are sure of what's going on.

And just because someone safeworded doesn't mean that the scene has to be over. There may be times when the problem that brought either of you to safeword is so overwhelming that carrying on doesn't feel like the right thing right now - but most often we find that after we've dealt with whatever the difficulty is, we're still terrifically turned on, with the added bonus of a shared intimacy.

from The New Topping Book (2003) by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

(note: the authors use ‘top’ & ‘bottom’ in the historical S/M sense, meaning ‘person performing the act’ & ‘person receiving the act’; the act in question is not necessarily penetration.)

[coockie8]

I can't prove this, and I'm not even 100% sure about it, but I feel like there's some kind of connection between the growing lack of horror media designed for children and the antiship movement.

'Cause growing up watching shit like Goosebumps had nothing but a positive impact on my ability to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and I feel like kids not having access to age-appropriate dark media is definitely contributing to this pro-censorship epidemic happening online.

[yonpote]

I refuse to believe anything but bottom!dan purely because of the meme.

booo boringggg we hate your pussyyyy

nah jk and i know youre joking lmao but i AM gonna use this as an opportunity to talk about why i hate the like 2015 era culture of dan bottoms uwu" ASIDE FROM LIKE THE OBVIOUS INAPPROPRIATENESS OF SHOVING THAT IN THE FACES OF TWO REAL DUDES.

like idk so much of the like "bottom dan top phil" was purely based on like how 'masculine" the two of them are or are perceived to be? or age or all these other things that i think are really harmful stereotypes toward gay couples in general like the "who's the man who's the woman" type thing. like oh dan is a bottom because he's more feminine, because he's younger, because he just "seems like it" and its like, what about him "seems" like a bottom lmao (again this is exactly what he says in his assumptions video.) and maybe some of it is based on the fact that he plays into the like daddy jokes but even before that ppl would still bottomify him lmao idk.

but same with top!phil, like it reminds me a lot of before they came out, at least around the time i was seeing this kinda stuff, ppl would be like "dan is bi or gay, but phil is definitely straight" which honestly... i think is bc a lot of the community at the time were like, young afab ppl who only knew about queerness (particularly male queerness) thru slashfic and yaoi, so they couldnt read that phil is like. thats butch queen yknow he's masc in like a "i love men so much that i became my ideal man" way. (i mean literally he became an emo to find a hot emo boy) but maybe that's just me and that's something that i am able to read abt him now that he's out idk! but yeah i think that idea of his masculinity then translated into, therefore he is the top in fics.

AND LIKE. we're all mature adults now right? for the most part? obv we're no longer @ ing them on twitter about fic or whatever but i do think this specific aspect of Phan Shipping is still kind of a thing, at least from what i've seen. AND DONT GET ME WRONG, DAN IS BABYGIRL. but i'm just saying. sometimes babygirl is a top.

[gayspock]

not to sound like a cunt but i swear like 2 jokes about something will get passed around and then a load of dipshits will start twisting that everyone is so Utterly Vacuous... god forbid if every post you post to your tumblr blog is not an indepth reflection of your thoughts and feelings. for your tumblr blog is reflective of your Inner mind and soul and you must summon yourself to the Calling of crafting the most perfect and eloquent analysis of the video essay that dropped 2 fucking days ago .

[trauma-culture-is]

TLDR: I am shutting down the blog. This blog will not be deleted. I'm not able to pass ownership onto someone else for privacy reasons.

I struggled with what I should do with this blog for a long time, but I've finally decided that I need to close it. I'm not able to run this, and I'm not comfortable with giving out the login info, as it was from the original owner of this blog. I have no way to contact them to ask if they would be comfortable with me sharing that.

If the owner ever wishes to start up the blog again, or contacts me to let me know they're fine with me giving out the login information to this blog, they are free to do so.

I am not deleting the blog. It will remain here.

I've closed the ask box. I will try to answer every ask within it before too long, and then this blog will be fully abandoned.

[kthulhu42]

Sometimes I just want to respond to asks with "I'm agreeing with you, why are you so aggressive?"

Like am I not agreeing hard enough is there an agree boost button I'm not aware of

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

[banamaak]

gorgeous women talking smack about the west.jpg and 5 seconds before azadeh drops the "but who am i judge"

[snickerdoodlles]

there's a point at which someone's fear of being a dick wraps back around to them just being a dick anyways

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is having intense internalized arophobia over the fact that the vast majority of people don't even understand what aromanticism is or know we exist, and for those that do, they think we're all making it up, so you constantly feel like an outsider, and you can't express your experiences, because nobody will take you seriously. you can't enjoy things like everyone else, because they don't fit, they're not for you. you are a ghost, wanting desperately to be tangible, forever invisible.

.

[fate-motif]

i can’t stop thinking about dal having been raised by a ferengi woman on her own. dal’s already in such a curious position because he’s not raised with his people, since he has none. the only cultural legacy he had growing up was from a woman who left her own culture except what served her. he sure seems to know the rules of acquisition but did nandi tell him about the blessed exchequer? is his first language ferengi or did she raise him in standard? did she name him, or did he come already named? did he ever genuinely want to belong to the ferengi growing up, or was it just as distant to him as any of the other cultures in the delta quadrant? 

[offonaherosjourney]

"Aww, it's so cute that Tumblr users keep old posts circulating". Thanks, it's because the search feature is irremediably broken

[voyage-inferno]

Natlan Coquito. Send post

[coridallasmultipass]

Going through my old blog posts again, and fUCK!!!!

Another fucking BroCal post that Tumblr bans have taken from me, it's just a broken link now. If anyone knows where to find the original post somewhere else, or has the images saved, please, PLEASE, LMK. God, I regret not saving everything before 2019. Tumblr has taken so much. Ugh. I just wanna live in the nostalgia!! Why did they have to remove all these old posts...

[zonatcannibalism]

Oh no. Character has been uwufied. I repeat, character has been uwufied. Yes, fans are now acting like he never ever did anything wrong in his life and attacking anyone who does not agree. Yes sir, they are giving him a non canon tragic backstory that makes it seem like all of his canon behaviour is 100% justified and he can't be held responsible for his actions. I repeat, they are infantilizating him. They are feminising him. They are calling him a "soft bean" and a "femboy". Yes, they are also talking about how they HC him as transmac now. Without any awareness of how that plays into the the harmful infantilization of transmascs. I repeat, they are drawing him as shorter from his canonical height.

REBLOG DO NOT LIKEp

[nbmudkip]

in the wake of the cancellation of revival my dream

hello to my proseka player followers and any other players who may see this! if any of you use twitter, i’m sure you’re aware that there’s a notable subset of folks pitching a fit about the cancellation of revival my dream despite the anti-indigenous sentiment presented in the event’s plotline and the orientalism of some of the event cards and costumes. we know for a fact that the colorful stage team listens to direct fan feedback, especially when sent through their Zendesk, so i want to ask you guys to take a minute to send in a quick message to the localization team A) thanking them for fighting to attempt to change the event and being willing to cancel it when unable to change it and B) letting them know you’ll be happy to continue to support the game now and in the future should this standard continue to be met.

this is the strongest and most reliable method we have to reinforce this decision and encourage them to continue to take the safety and well being of their fans of color into account when making decisions like this in the future. it takes very little time to do and will hopefully make a good impact on the future of global proseka. if you want to do so, you can go in game to the top right menu -> support -> contact via e-mail, scroll to the bottom, and click submit a request. i will also include the direct link to the request form in the replies of this post for easy access.

note: this post is not an invitation for discourse or argument about the contents of the event itself. i have evaluated the content itself through my own lens and heard multiple indigenous people speak on the issue. my decision not to support the event has been made off of that information. if you reply, reblog, or otherwise interact with this post or my blog looking for an argument or being hostile/aggressive, you will be ignored and blocked.

thank you very much for reading! have a lovely day!