#regardless of whether it was true or not

[waldau]

insecure — kim mingyu | 2,146 words | fluff, hurt/comfort

milm (man i love mingyu). short haired mingyu is so fucking hot. also, i will gladly spread the mingyu passenger princess agenda.

gender neutral reader. warnings: alcohol.

mingyu doesn't know what exactly he's feeling at the moment. his emotions range from tiredness due to how late in the night it is, to amusement as he half-registers the movie playing on the television, to his heart feeling like it's being crushed and released over and over again.

vernon, in his drunken state, made a quip about you and wonwoo making out years ago.

that has to be a joke, right? you've always said said you've never liked wonwoo that way, and mingyu knows you'd never lie to him. so why does it feel like he's waiting for something bad when he sees your text informing him you're on your way to pick him up from his place to spend a night at yours?

he himself had asked for it earlier in the day, happy when you said you'd love to have him over for the night. but given the stuff that's come up hardly an hour ago, he doesn't know if he wants to see you.

of course he does. but he's worried that he's going to say something stupid to you.

the doorbell ringing shakes him out of his thoughts. wonwoo beats him to opening the door. you're standing in one of mingyu's own hoodies, spinning your car keys in your hand, and the thought warms him up a bit. he's still not used to seeing you in his clothes.

you greet wonwoo and he moves aside to let you in. your eyes light up immediately when you spot mingyu. he raises his arms up to let you hug him from behind.

"feeling cold?" you ask, kissing his head, which is covered with a beanie. he kind of wishes you'd kissed his forehead instead.

"a bit, yeah," he says, not untruthfully. but the cold is not the only reason he has a beanie on. he brings your hand to his mouth to press a quick kiss. as much as he loves you, he's had enough of being teased by the boys for a day. he'd much rather save the real kisses for when you get out of here.

"no greetings for us?" seungcheol asks, taking a sip of his drink.

you smile and say hi to him and vernon. "sorry, guys. i've spent all day away from gyu. you have no idea how terrible it is."

"we've spent all day with him, and we kind of have an idea of how terrible it is," vernon says with a cheeky smile.

"hey," mingyu says, no real annoyance in his voice. you laugh, your hand resting on mingyu's shoulder.

"i'll be more than glad to take him off your hands. let's go, gyu?" you ask.

mingyu nods and pushes himself off the sofa, bidding the other guys goodnight.

you shiver when you step out of the building and walk towards your car. mingyu notices and takes your hand in his, putting it in the pocket of his own hoodie. he knows it doesn't help much, especially when your other hand must also be freezing, but the smile you give him is worth it. he lets go of your hand when you get to the car so you can settle down in your respective seats.

"so, how was your day?" you ask, putting the key in its slot. he can smell takeout from the backseat and his heart does a little flip. just a few years ago, he wouldn't have imagined he'd be sharing a life with someone like this, treasuring late night dinners with someone in a car. and he'd never imagined that someone would be you.

he's glad you're here, even though he knows you're always there for him. it's been an uphill journey getting himself to believe that you really do love him, because there are days like this when he doubts half of everything he knows.

"fine," he says, unzipping his hoodie. the inside of your car is warm enough for him to feel a bit better.

"that's not how you speak if your day went well," you say, reaching over to lay a hand on his thigh.

of course you know him too well. "the shoot began at seven in the morning," he says, leaning back against his seat to relax himself. "and then woozi wanted us to give some input on some lyrics he'd written before we wrapped up for the day. then wonwoo invited everyone home for a dinner party, but the only guys who stuck around were us four, because seungcheol had some ideas for the new choreography."

"aw," you say. "you wanted to leave earlier?"

"yeah. it's better with you here."

when you don't say anything, he looks at you, only to find you looking at him...sadly? confusedly? "not that i'm looking for trouble," you say, taking your hand back from his thigh, "but did i do something?"

of course not. you haven't done anything. even if you did, it's in the past. but the mere possibility that you did it...

"you hooked up with wonwoo."

you blink once. then twice. "what?"

that's an insane accusation to make out of context. so what if vernon said what he said? he was pretty drunk already. "um. i...vernon..."

you sigh. "did he say wonwoo wouldn't shut up about it for a while?"

so it did happen. mingyu nods, a bit numb. time and again his friends have teased you with wonwoo because his roommate is your boyfriend and his best friend, and time and again you've shown that you've only ever wanted mingyu. so why—

"did you...settle for me?" the words sound pathetic, even to himself. but it doesn't make sense otherwise. why would you give up a relationship with wonwoo? his standards for dating are so high, and mingyu often conspires with his friends to get his roommate to go on dates, only to no avail. wonwoo's quite content, being by himself.

you turn in your seat however much you can and look at him. your lips are pressed together in an unhappy line and mingyu hates that he's the reason you look this way.

"is that what you think i did?" you ask, folding your hands in your lap. "that i settled for you?"

"no," mingyu says, and knows he means it entirely. he knows you love him. a lot. but some days the question creeps up out of nowhere and doesn't let go for hours on end.

"then why would you think i did that?"

mingyu shrugs. what was the deal with wonwoo, he wants to ask.

you sigh and reach forward to hold his thigh again. this time, he doesn't let your hand escape, trapping your colder hand in place with his warm one.

"it's true," you say slowly. "i hooked up with wonwoo."

mingyu lets out a shaky breath. "why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"does it change anything between us?"

like hell it would. mingyu would kick himself if that ever happened. he stares at his hand on yours. "no," he says reluctantly. "unless you have feelings for him— i know you don't, baby. but still."

you reach for his hand with your other one, trapping it like a sandwich. an idiot sandwich, he thinks, the thought bringing a small smile to his face.

"when i say we hooked up, we just kissed. a whole lot. but it was only ever that."

mingyu looks up at that. you're serious, he realizes. "just...kissing?"

"yeah. we knew it'd go nowhere. it was a mistake."

a mistake? "when...did this happen?"

"remember that party your friend baekho threw? wonwoo invited me to it."

mingyu doesn't remember the specifics, but he knows you'd been invited by wonwoo because he'd wanted the whole group to meet his old friend from college. mingyu had taken one look at you and realized he really liked you. it wasn't like wonwoo to have a ton of friends that weren't from the band, so he'd immediately taken a shine to you.

you take your hands away from his and he immediately misses them, even though they're cold. "it was supposed to be you," you say, voice small.

"what?"

"the person i kissed. it was supposed to be you."

"what?" he knows he sounds like a broken record.

you let out a small, embarrassed noise. "wonwoo said he'd try to get you alone in a room so i could confess and see what happened. but because we both ended up being drunk by the end of the night, he mistook me for some girl and i mistook him for you and we kissed."

mingyu gapes at you. you're a very graceful drunk, leagues ahead of him, but kissing someone thinking they're someone else?

"shut up," you murmur. "if i'd known it was wonwoo i'd have backed off right away."

mingyu lets out a laugh, his heart feeling so much lighter. to think you'd been kissing wonwoo thinking it was mingyu makes him feel giddy. he likes knowing you've probably been into him longer than he's been into you.

"then what was that thing about wonwoo not being able to shut up?"

you sigh. "he found it pretty funny and always brought it up to the guys, but i wasn't amused."

mingyu can't get it out of his head now. it's more funny than it's sad. maybe it's funny in a sad way. but he can't stop thinking about how awkward it must have been for you to hang out with wonwoo after that little mishap.

"stop laughing," you scold him lightheartedly, smacking his arm.

"i'm sorry," he says, hands reaching out for you. the weight on his chest has almost gone entirely.

it's a bit difficult, but you manage to move to his side and sit on his lap. your car's a bit small for such fancy maneuvers but mingyu always loves being close to you, no matter how.

"hi," you say, finally kissing him. he's missed you all day long, and all he wants to do now is go to your place and hold you in his arms all night long.

"hi," he says, looking up at you. he can't keep the stupid smile off his face.

"still feeling cold?" you ask, lightly tugging at his beanie. "i can turn on the heat, if you want."

the hesitation comes back. he shakes his head, but if you're sitting this close to him, surely you're not going to make fun of him?

"we had the shoot today."

"so you said, gyu."

"they...made me..."

"do a hundred push-ups?"

mingyu's eyes widen. "you think i can do a hundred push-ups?"

"i don't know, maybe?"

mingyu inhales sharply. "then i'll train to do them for you."

you shake your head and kiss him again. "you can do ten and i'll still be happy. what happened then?"

mingyu deflates. he doesn't look bad, not to himself, but it's just... new. he's not used to having such short hair.

"i got a haircut," he says, tugging off his beanie and closing his eyes, scared of your reaction.

your voice is low when you say, "oh, my god."

mingyu doesn't dare open his eyes. "is that a good thing, or..."

"gyu, sweetheart, do you have any idea how hot you look?"

he opens his eyes to see yours trained on his face, flitting between his lips and his hair. he feels the slightest bit self-conscious. "i kind of feel like an egg."

"then you're the hottest egg i've ever seen. seriously, what made you go for it?"

mingyu shrugs. "it wasn't really my idea."

you frown at him. "what do you mean?"

"they thought it'd suit the comeback theme if i had short hair."

you take his face in your hands. "oh, gyu. i'm sorry. i wish you had a say in it."

he nods. he does wish he had a say in it, but as long as you find it hot, he's fine.

you run a hand through his hair, or what is left of it after the trim, your fingers scratching against his scalp much more clearly than they usually do. it feels good.

"i hate you," you say softly.

mingyu's suddenly worried. "what? why?"

"because i'm going to have to change my lockscreen again. do you have any idea how much time it took me to narrow down a perfect choice from all the 1,082 pictures i have of you?"

mingyu groans. "don't scare me like that, baby. also, you have that many pictures of me?"

"i'd have more if you didn't tour so much."

mingyu can't help the laugh he lets out. you really can cure his day with your words, no matter where you are. he pulls you down for a kiss. "let's have takeout and go home, okay?"

you grin brightly at him. "did you just call my place home?"

he supposes he did. but it's true, isn't it? "of course i did."

[mythicalthing]

i wish user taylorswift a very stay off of social media for a while 

[delawaredetroit]

This idea that justice is born from evil is a common theme that runs through BNHA. Here, All Might is referring to the evil act that created One for All, a power that has been used by heroes to oppose All for One. But this theme also applies to at least Shouto (a hero born from Endeavor's ugly ambition and an illegal quirk marriage) and Hawks (a pro hero who is the son of a villain). It may even apply to Eri, who is the grandchild of the Shie Hassaikai's leader

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

i feel like there's something so beautifully, terribly, ironically unfair about the contrast between prism and solaris.

incredibly talented women, both swayed by the power and resources zoraxis could provide for them. both so desperate to develop their separate technologies they were willing to be swayed to the side of a backstabbing corporate overlord- despite not even liking them. undoubtedly risking their lives for the sake of their technology- knowingly or otherwise.

having the project they loved so much ripped out of their hands. watching sheets of metal and bolts and rivets so lovingly fastened come undone in the blink of a flaming, volatile second. watching a little piece of you get torn apart and die, and knowing good and well that you should have died with it.

prism wanted a legacy. something that could surpass her- live on for a lifetime after her... and even after the robot agent project failed, she still got that, in the end. because she had it all along, and she just failed to realize it.

but solaris' dream was to propagate laser technology. it was a goal she could not reach without zoraxis' assistance. she wanted to push the boundaries of the potential of her craft. and she did. the death engine was- according to the agency- one of zoraxis' most lethal inventions. it was solaris' crowning achievement. decades- or perhaps even centuries ahead of the current scientific standard.

and phoenix destroyed it in under ten minutes. and she will never get that back. her ties with zoraxis- as far as we know- are cut. her reputation is probably badly damaged after her public association with the company. she will probably never be exposed to the proper conditions to build anything even technologically close to the death engine ever again.

the culmination of her life's work was ripped away from her, and where prism was left with introspection, solaris was left with nothing.

[hephaestuscrew]

When I think about Minkowski, Eiffel, Hera and Lovelace post-canon, the relationship I imagine is something that could be described as a group queerplatonic relationship. As I like to think about it (and other people are obviously entirely free to think about it differently), the relationships are entirely platonic, but they prioritise each other, they take care of each other, they live together (although with a fair amount of individual comings and goings), and they are the most important people in each other's lives. External people tend to wonder who is dating who in that house and are surprised to learn that no one is. But I don't think they'd feel the need for a term like QPR. I don't think they'd be searching for that language to describe their dynamic to the world or to each other.

Of course, I also think of them under the term 'found family', but I'm not sure they'd use familial language either. I think they'd leave that unspoken. And words like 'friends' and 'housemates' - while true - don't fully capture who they are to each other.

In fact, when I'm thinking about how they describe their relationships to each other post-canon, the word that I keep coming back to is that they are a crew.

They are still a crew post-canon. But "crew" means something different now that the station is gone. "Crew" had already started to mean something different while they were up there. (See this post.) It's a choice now. It had already started to be a choice while they were up there. Once, "crew" described their shared relationship to the Hephaestus. Now it only describes their relationships to each other.

I think Minkowski definitely still calls them "her crew". And the others end up doing so too, although perhaps to a lesser extent. Sometimes it's in a casual or joking way: talking about"Crew Movie Nights", or despairing "Does no one else in this crew know how to load the dishwasher?" Sometimes it's in a purely internal way: thinking "I ought to head home - the crew will be wondering where I've got to", or ranking "Keeping my crew safe" at the top of a mental list of priorities. Sometimes it's in a serious way: asserting "I won't let the crew down", or saying "You'll always be a part of this crew" as an act of reassurance in moments of doubt and fear.

And when they call each other a crew, it means family and commitment and love and responsibility and trust and care. It means all those things that Goddard Futuristics didn't care about when it gave them that word.

There's a kind of reclamation in that, in turning a piece of that military language into something different and beautiful outside of that context, in knowing "The mission was a lie, the station was a deathtrap, but some of the people I met up there are my people now."

[clownprince]

Mental spiritual emotional needs: for Jason to bitterly/mockingly call Joker Batman's boyfriend at least once in canon

[darkfinch]

wait but DO people like fics that are just a series of vignettes strung together by a vague theme/arguable chronological order

[creaturefeaster]

Hey wire, this is random but ik mimes can't eat anything, but like can they taste things? Like for an example

A mime finds a lollipop and then put it in their mouth. Would they taste it?

Some mimes can taste, yes. Almost all mimes have tongues, mostly for speech & mimicry purposes, but any mime that arrives curious or interested in the world around them probably has a sense of taste.

So yeah a lot of mimes would try a lollipop off the ground if they were told it was a flavored treat. Depends on the mime whether or not they have qualms with the fact that it. was on the ground. hey wait i just looked back up and you didn't even mention the ground. i guess i just imagined that. but whatever. 🌈

[sp4rrowdoll]

Robin's the kinda guy (gn) to need reassurance after sex if they're the dominant one or the top.

[jessepinwheel]

the nice thing about tightly-plotted stories is that every part of the story becomes important. the bad thing about tightly-plotted stories is that every part of the story becomes the hardest part of the story to write.

[jakeperalta]

well. at least I can say I never turned into a joe alwyn hate blogger like half the fandom did a few weeks back :)

[lovenpeace-pkmn]

Opinion on eebydeebies and sapient Pokemon?

Eebydeebies have done a remarkable job coping with a very stressful and confusing situation. I hope that we can find a cure for those who want it, and build a more welcoming society for those who do not.

All Pokémon are sapient.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai to Odasaku about Akutagawa: "If I'd left him to his own devices, he would've ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself."

Hey hi what does that mean???

I'm probably way overthinking it but it just reminded me of when I first started my watch of the anime and we get to the opening scene with Akutagawa and Rashoumon (I can't find the exact scene but here's something similar from DA)

He implies he's not attacking with her so much as he's reining her in from devouring everything - and originally I thought, hey, that's a cool premise. It seems like there's something odd about this guy's ability; he's talking about it like it's almost sentient.

But then it didn't really get brought up again so I kind of forgot about it.

And sure maybe all the above line means is that his ability is naturally attuned to violence and he could grow more bloodthirsty, etc - but if that's the case, why bring him into the mafia?

So I started thinking about Dead Apple (which I really need to rewatch...) and how there was this focus on Atsushi as the "antithesis" of special abilities. And I just kind of thought about that because... wouldn't that title go to Dazai...?

But then it's stated that Atsushi's claws can cut through any ability... including Rashoumon (he also has some connection to the Book which absolutely must be related somehow but I'm skipping over that for the purposes of this post). Dazai describes Akutagawa as "a sword without a sheath". Is Atsushi part of the sheath? It would make a degree of sense: after all, we get a sharp reminder in the movie of how imperative it is that Dazai nullifies Chuuya's ability - it is literally needed to keep Corruption in check.

But why such a focus on self-destruction and sheathing... unless there really is something dangerous that needs to be reined in? That needs to be controlled.

I think about the dragon in Dead Apple called the "chaos of all special abilities".

I think about how the tiger and dragon are another representation of yin and yang. I think about how Atsushi and Akutagawa so clearly have that yin-yang dynamic. I think about how Rashoumon very well has the appearance of a hungry snake - or a dragon.

I think about how the focal point of an entire altered timeline was the prevention of Akutagawa from joining the mafia and the taking of his sister. And then I wonder why Akutagawa always seems to factor into Dazai's plans.

I think there's something special about Akutagawa's ability.

I think that something special, whatever it is, is very dangerous - more than we know.

[tenacious-minds]

About the new hbo show:

I understand, I do. HP is one of those things that shaped my entire childhood and a good portion of my adult life. But when are you going to get it? When are people going to get it.

Supporting new hp content, and ESPECIALLY on this scale is just giving her a bigger platform, and driving trans fans even further away from the few online spaces they still find some comfort in. This is maybe one of the smallest and most insignificant arguments, but it was one of the first things on my mind. And especially now, in a time of such horrific laws being put into place. I can't speak for everyone, but the more support I see for the game and this show the more unsafe I feel, and I think we all need somewhere safe to land right now.

She's doing real harm. I get that you're excited. I really do. Because the thing is I want to be excited to, and I can't be. We don’t get to be.

I hate being overtly political on here, especially outside of the context of politics as they relate specifically to, and within fiction. This is supposed to be a place where I don't have to think about it in the context of the real world. Where I can process the realities of an inherently politicized existence through fiction and without real world consequences, but she makes that nearly impossible. l'm just so incredibly sad to see how much support and excitement this now getting.

[avephelis]

sosorry that my art is so inconsistent rn i think i'm in a blender AUGH UAGH RBRBBRBRAHGH AG

[youforgivehowgodforgives]

i have a really convoluted theory about will graham re: water symbolism