#religious trauma go brrrrr

[kuroshika]

i think people misinterpret what i mean when i say will is hannibal's god. we know hannibal is a religious man in the sense that he believes in gods, but does not pray to them.

he has intimate knowledge of them, and believes there could be multiple (as shown by his belief in both christian god and in greek mythos), but he doesn't pray, nor show his religion at all. he is a follower with nothing to follow.

he doesn't like playing god with his kills, not at all. he defies him, even, in that regard. so he doesn't believe himself to be god (though there's a certain god complex that comes with being a surgeon).

and he doesn't believe god to be something overarching and narcissistic — he doesn't believe that god sits in wait and watches violence. his god delivers justice and karma, he believes that he has an itch in his palm to destroy those who are unworthy of the life they've been granted (which, of course, is deliciously reminiscent of how hannibal cannibalizes the 'rude'— those he believes have tarnished the life they've been given).

will does that; at first, by his profiling — when he kills hobbs, when he shoots stammetts, even when he showed no hesitation in trying (twice) to shoot hannibal; then after his becoming, when he has no problem tearing into dolarhyde.

i think that's what attracts hannibal to him — he's blunt (not rude, but that's a subject for a whole different post), he's clever, and he's always had the same urges that hannibal has, boiling just beyond the curtains. he wants people to pay for what they do — and it is not biased in the fact that he tries to make hannibal pay before he understands why he does what he does. he, in hannibal's eyes, is the perfect god — swift, unbiased, and angry (hence his illusion to achilles' anger; the halfgod who could not be bested in battle).

will isn't hannibal's god in the sense of "you are the best, you are the greatest and no one can befell you and you are invincible". he's his god in the sense of "you are the personification of my ideals, you are human but divine in the sense that you may be felled, but you do not go down easily, i love you and worship you for that alone".

he doesn't believe that will is better than anyone, or entirely godly — he believes he embraces his human nature and is still powerful.

[irisjaxx665]

we got me 4 new pairs of sock’s tonight!! and a rosary prop for videos!

[aureliagone]

Shoutout to all my ace/aroace/demi/gray-ace pals out there who were simultaneously baffled and traumatized by purity culture. Keep being you, and I wish you a very merry religious trauma recovery 💜💜💜

[iris-jaxx665]

Thinking about being woken up by his weight on top of me and a knife to my throat and just hearing him growl in my ear as he rubs at my hole and i can feel gloves, walking my body up because “it’s time to be a good little victim” as he starts bruising my cervix and biting me and groaning about how good i feel and reminding me that whatever “family” i grew up with is nothing compared to him, whatever religion they thought to give me is nothing when i worship him with all that i am as he fucks me full of his cum, marking me with it, showing anyone who sees me that i am his. Using all my holes as he wishes because theyre my gift to him

I’m in a mood lately, can you tell?

[calamari-minecraft-corner]

Something about call of Cthulhu Cala having a DreamXD necklace and every day it’s either destroyed or taken away from her but it always comes back the next day. Nobody knows how it just does so they just give up and use it to mess up her head more since she’s an avid believer of DreamXD and uses her faith in him to reassure herself that they’ll get through this.

[grapesandtwinks]

Travis Phelps <3

[lohstandfound]

🎵

Hell As Well - We Three

Vampire by Rumour - TX2

get him back! - Olivia Rodrigo

pretty isn't pretty - Olivia Rodrigo

Us - We Three

[chthonickore]

I think I'm getting into ghost

[the-ghost-bird]

Monsterfucker?

Woah, that's a strong a word, buddy. But hey, there's a reason I was veeeeery attracted to the demon!Dean concept (I say concept bc execution did not live up to my expectations)

[azzimations]

human(ish) CID design >:]

headcanons below :)

-religious trauma go brrrrr

-the guitar is an old one, covered in stickers of things he likes

-has a little spot in the woods that he’ll go out to in the night and watch the stars

-someone tell him to get over his ex please

bonus, he’s based off of an old oc I have (that y’all will never see bc that sketchbook is at home and I am. not rn)

[kuroshika]

"i see you."

"and what do you see?"

"inside. i couldn't bring it out of you."

"not all the way out."

"i can give you the majesty of your becoming."

1×05 - coquilles.

[irisjaxx665]

I saw a post of yours recently with a tag saying "religious trauma" or something to that effect. I was wondering what you meant by that and how it affected you?

well, growing up raised by my foster folks who were extremely Christian (seventhday adventists), i got all the fun traumatiziation that comes feom that.

told that i was supposed to be willing to die for that faith. that christians were oppressed through the ages and hunted daily.

that i would have to be willing to die to show my devotion

that i was automatically in the wrong for things i had never done and never been involved with. that i was always guilty, and if i wasnt then i was blaspheming and lying

that is would be punished for my actions and for others

that i had to remain pure and untouched for someone i was destined to (so long as they shared the faith) or i would be worthless to them and to anyone else. crumpled paper, a torn up flower, tape without its sticky. being told constantly to obey without question because that was my place as a girl and as a child.

that my worth was my ability to serve and be of service

because i didnt have a say in anything. because i was inherently property. to their god. then to the clergy. then to my father and brothers. and then to my husband if i could earn one.

that is was expected to follow orders given by any man, because they were all superior to me.

some trauma turned into kink, as a way to take control back over those aspects of myself. some just turned into anger. some parts are mere irritation about that faith and those who decide its more important than anything else.

my foster mother, in face of anything, would always tell me to pray and that i would be answered. but when i genuinely needed help and prayed to her god, there was no answer for me. just ignorance.

while young, i was so devout. i believed everything my foster parents said as though they were all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-caring. they said theyd let nothing hurt me. and to be totally fair to them, when they discovered their son had been molesting me, it did stop. but they let him stay living with us. let him keep threating me. let me keep living in fear that it would start again. that didnt stop.

and praying did nothing when i got addicted to heroin.

praying did nothing when i was lured, stabbed, and raped by a cop within an inch of my life.

praying did nothing when i gave birth while i was a child.

and then as i grew older, and my life changed, i became more aware of the world. i learned about other religions, and found the one that makes the most sense to me, and makes me feel strong. like i can be who i am and im worthy of equal respect because i’ve survived and i’ve suffered and im here.

i am willing to die to show my devotion to my Husband. and i am just as willing, to live for Him. i am only punished for my actions when they are truly wrong, and those actions are discussed on an open and honest basis. my worth is more than my willingness and ability to serve, but He is grateful that i desire to serve Him and in turn He serves me. i have the power to gift Him my submission and He graciously accepted, giving me orders and tasks to please Him and to better our lives together and our home. my Dominant knows that i worship Him. and He in turn worships me.

my body is a temple, and i am the goddess to whom it is dedicated and by whom it is designed. i decorate it as i see fit to please the goddess that inhabits it. i am also the only priestess that devotes her life to the worship of my god. the temple made and kept by her hands is His own to change as He chooses.

un-kinkily, my religion is Pagan. Norse, Hellenic, and Khemetic. i pay homage to the old gods and keep their ways. i follow the faith of my ancestors, and that i share with my real brother.

[yanderemommabean]

i think people are getting heated because of that 'if you don't like this then that means you hate it' mentality where you're basically only given the options of 'either/or' like "either you like it or hate it" and it doesn't give you any in-between choices. also known as limited choices/false dilemma/false dichotomy. which, by the way, is a mentality we should at correct.

i've had trouble regarding with this mentality back then regarding religion (since i live in a country that's very religious). i never really considered myself as christian but i couldn't also consider myself an atheist because obviously if the opposite of christianity is atheism then that means it worships the devil, right? (haha religious trauma go brrrrr) i was around 18 at that time when i realized that it wasn't like that at all, that i actually had choices, that i could pick other options and still be me. all it took was for me was to ask my brother and for him to tell me "and? you're describing atheism. people like to think whatever doesn't go in line with their choice is automatically wrong or bad. people are weird. anyway, you're an atheist."

anyway, we're allowed to not like something but also not hate it at the same time. just because someone prefers an option over the other doesn't mean they hate the other existing option/s.

Exactly. Not liking one thing does not mean “against everything about it at all times”

It also doesn’t mean “You can’t like this because I don’t like this”

People are allowed to chose what they enjoy, it doesn’t mean they’re putting down others who enjoy the things they have boundaries about.

-Mommabean

[beaniebaby]

@standardlovers tagged me and asked what albums i’ve been listening to lately!! i usually just listen to one giant playlist on shuffle but there’s three albums i’ve been manually looking up and listening to lately.

1. unreal unearth - hozier: it’s been on repeat since it came out on my birthday!! i just find the storytelling and vocals so beautiful

2. preacher’s daughter - ethel cain: beautiful storytelling and vocals… her artistry is unmatched + it makes my religious trauma go brrrrr

3. the horror and the wild - the amazing devil: the album that introduced me to my favorite band!! i stopped listening to it for awhile but i’m really getting back into folk punk and this is THE folk punk album for me

i’m tagging @allamericanbabe @gendergenius @princess-universe00 @ibuprofengirl and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[elvisabutler]

“#that gif is me at this fic #we’re fucking in a church do do do” um bestie im gonna need u to expand on this POSTHASTE bc the religious trauma kink goes brrrrr

I can't expand too much without writing it all out (and I'm cooking dinner so not actually by the laptop) but I have referred to Elvis as a "good church going boy", a "good southern boy", and had the reader mention that it's Sunday so of course she'd find him at church.

Basically we're defiling 50s Austin Elvis in a church and I have no regrets.

[duckduckgoose-exe]

That's not even close to half ngl..

bruh…

I gotta say I adore the like- ones that people make about like deity’s and shit and vaguely religious themes bc alterhuman and religious trauma go brrrrr