#remember guys we were never not cancelled just not renewed

[nightwingandhissquad]

young justice (up to s3) is finally on uk/international netflix they’ve finally remembered us and given international fans a way to legit watch it and give it views it only took them 5 years

[onewomancitadel]

Okay if you guys are scared about RWBY renewal this is a collection of thoughts which may or may not be reassuring:

CR was never a good choice. Finding alternate funding opportunities is preferable e.g. ideally not cutting a deal with a streaming service which subsequently leads to cut episodes. Streaming services are conservative to the point that successful shows do not often get renewed as it is. There are other issues there like I don't think the CR audience was ever one to crossover enough with the RWBY one.

RT seems to be looking at more local funding opportunities (drawing in sponsorships for RVB; RVB renewal playing on drawing back fans in - I know I haven't watched it consistently since Season 13). They've cut back on RTX (major money drain - events such as these tend to just about break even, speaking generally, if not work at a loss) and this was likely a decision made at the beginning of the previous fiscal year, which was around when CR did not renew RWBY. They've explicitly said they're looking at getting more sponsorships lol. Raise your hand if you cancelled yours because you thought they didn't own RWBY anymore

From what I can see a lot of people are concerned about the silence regarding renewal and from my personal perspective is that there are NDA's involved (I know for a fact that Miles has this in his Tumblr description, or at least did at some point), the year-long exclusivity with CR, etc. as well as the fact that with this type of money that RWBY is throwing around now as what is effectively more of a serious production than it was six, seven years ago means that you can't really admit to too much weakness in public (speculative investors), nor can you speak strategy. I'm not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, but just potentially par for the course, especially because I'd argue the closeness RT had with its audience did not end up being for the best for many different reasons.

It's probably very likely that based on the success or failure of the new RVB, RWBY will or won't be renewed. I'm not saying you are personally responsible for making RVB succeed. There's no responsibility of the fan here. But if we look at the avenues they've taken to draw in money: crossovers (comic book audience), manga, novels, anime (Beacon era nostalgia), the CrunchyRoll audience of honest otakus, etc. they've cycled through to trying to re-establish their RT fanbase to offset RWBY production. RWBY fans are good for RT and RT fans used to be good for RWBY. RWBY was made because Season 10 of RVB was very successful.

It's no coincidence that RT's relative decline in years (I stopped watching around 2015, if that's anything) has led to this. I'm kind of at the point where I wouldn't even say any of this is really RWBY's fault because it's a very weird production (I say this as a fan). There are plenty of influences I've failed to cover here because I'm trying to keep this contained to my honest assessment - there's obviously something not quite adding up with the numbers of how many RWBY fans there are vs. its renewal dangling in the balance. They struggled with monetising way back when during the adpocalypse on YouTube which led to episodes not being uploaded on there anymore. RWBY has been a cult sensation and it owes its success not just to a loyal fanbase but taking risks. RWBY itself was a risky endeavour. I'm not sure if people remember but by that point RT was doing pretty well, but not corporate money well, and its flagship show was a Halo machinima. They were doing crowdfunding/Patreon before it was a thing, they were doing podcasts before they were a thing (obviously radio existed, but you know what I mean). When Fullscreen acquired them I remember thinking 'hm this feels weird' and I was about right.

I don't have any conclusive remarks here but I would say that I would really start to doomer worry by the end of this year. I imagine that between the exclusivity of a year (and how much that does or doesn't influence contract negotiation with other funding sources) and RT currently overhauling its strategy we won't really know until six months from now, let's say optimistically. It probably does in part hinge on RVB and getting back that sponsor base, but I'm not sure I perfectly understand it because I would sign up for sponsor if I knew we'd be getting RWBY, or something specific to RWBY only on RT - which is seemingly not possible right now. I don't know the full ins-and-out.

Of what's going on behind the scenes, we know less than drop. It's six to one, half a dozen the other, but my overall summary would be that CR was always the wrong move and RT needed an overhaul in its approach to sponsorships and funding as well as establishing its brand and regaining audience trust/transparency. RWBY should have stayed on RT and other sources of revenue needed to be pursued. I couldn't even figure out how to buy DVD's of the show a few years ago because it was so hidden. (Am I even suggesting something like Patreon here? Hell, maybe). We're not going to see the result of their developed strategy for some time. This is my tentative speculation.

[megaawkwardhuman]

8 shows to get to know me

thanks for tagging me @someguywife

an excuse to talk about the shows I like? sign me the fuck up!

WARNING: A LOT OF INFO DUMBING I TRIED TO JUST SUM UP WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THESE SHOWS BUT I COULDN'T RESIST GOING ON LONG TANGENTS ABOUT THEM SO I GAVE UP ON THAT REAL QUICK

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

1) what we do in the shadows- I mean considering how much I post about it and the fact it got me to write my first ever fanfic no shit I love this show! I mean it's got gay people, causal murder, people who have no idea wtf they're doing, vampires, weird ass CGI baby for a season, emotional devastation, did I say gay people? I will admit when I first watched the show I honestly thought it was just ok (may have to do with the fact that halfway through watching it I got sick which is funny cause when I watched the OG film I was also sick and I'm sick now while working on my fic- AM I CURSED!?) but after showing my friends the 2014 film decided to rewatch the show before showing it to them and got fucking OBSESSED. Never been a huge fan of vampire shit but now whatever vampire media I consume next HAS to have gay people in it thanks to this show. It still feels weird to have a character I like and relate to that I can kinda actually see myself in like Guillermo and while we're not 100 the same I still kinda feel seen which is fucking weird ngl. HIS COMING OUT SCENE MADE ME CRY THE SECOND TIME I WATCHED IT. (probably cause that's roughly how coming out to my parents as trans and pan went just without the whole working for vampires thing) Low key scared for what the fuck season 5 has in store :D

2) our flag means death- I fucking LOVE this show! shout out to my friend for showing it to me cause I never would have thought that a show about gay pirates would be for me. Our flag means death has just this vibe to it that has me addicted to it and the love story that I'm STILL surprised a year later they actually went through with just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The fact that a show that does what our flag means death does AND GET RENEWED FOR A SECOND SEASON brings a big fat smile to my face! Stede going in head first with an obsession while having no idea what he's doing is a fucking mood. can't wait for season 2 hopefully it won't leave me screaming at my screen like last season! OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT I'm SO glad they portrayed Mary the way they did! like they could have easily made her into an unforgivable bitch or homophobic as fuck but no I mean sure she's upset for what Stede did (if you were in her shoes you would be too) but after attempted murder and a bunch of shenanigans beforehand they talk it out and find a compromise that they both like and the fact that she's happy for him for finding love even if it's a guy and she isn't secretly jealous or disgusted by it is just *chef's kiss* so good.

3) moral orel- well let's go from modern live-action shows with gay people to a stop-motion adult cartoon from the mid 2000s! I can still remember watching this show for the first time since I binged it all in one night (by the time I finished it it was like 5am WOOPS) and I don't fucking regret it this show is just fucking fantastic. I HATE THAT IT WAS PULLED FOR BEING "TOO DARK" THE MORE I READ ABOUT WHAT THEY HAD PLANNED THAT THEY HAD TO CANCEL DUE TO THE SHOW'S CANCELLATION THE MORE PISSED OFF I GET! Like it's the darker episodes that make the show SO DAMN GOOD and memorable. HELL the episode that got the show canceled (I think it's called alone) IS ONE OF THE BEST EPISODES. The way it portrayed people handling trauma is fucking fascinating and it's a shame the episode is what got the show pulled. The season two finale two-parter I also up there as one of the greatest episodes in the show. The way the tone shifts as Clay gets more and more drunk and what went from a thing mainly played for laughs turns into a painful moment for Orel as he realizes just how awful his dad is especially when he's drunk. This isn't to say the less serious episodes aren't good. The show can be really funny when it wants to but it's just the more serious episode that leaves an impact on you. When hopping into the show for the first time I heard it was a satire show that was a parody of christian shows I was expecting every other joke to be bible bad (not a christian so I wouldn't have gotten offended but still it would have gotten tiring) but god I was relieved when I found out it was more making fun of those who use faith for all the wrong reasons then pointing the blame to an old ass book. overall 10/10 show that might not be everyone's cup of tea but I personally LOVE it. It's been a while since I last watched it but talking about it makes me wanna watch the entire show again. TL;DR: I fucking love this show and the reason it got canceled is the reason why I love it.

4) invader zim- OK time to move on to something less serious. It's also been a bit since I've last seen this show but it still has a close place in my heart. Invader zim aka the reason I have a tumblr account in the first place (though it wasn't until later when I started to actually use it. when I first made this account it was to lurk) is a nice little show I can watch and not over analyze the shit out of. (I do that a lot with shows I like) I watched this show at a very interesting time in my life. I had recently realized I was trans and had no idea how I was going to tell anyone and funnily enough a couple of days after I realized I was trans quarantine hit so needless to say it was an interesting time for me. This show and the fan stuff on tumblr for the show kept me sane. Dib was one of the first characters I ever related to and as you can tell by me still using him as my profile pic I still do. another show that the more I learn about what they had to cancel due to the show being canceled the more pissed off I get. I forget this is a kid's show half the time.

5) hannibal- I feel bad for my friends cause when I finished this show I WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT. This show is the reason I actually use my tumblr account. (cause I paused it and it looked like Will and Hannibal were about to kiss and I needed to share it with someone and none of my friends have seen the show so I threw it onto here and the rest was history) I don't remember why I watched this show but I'm glad I did cause it's fucking great the mystery the first time you watch it and the set up of the answer the second time you watch it is just *chef's kiss* 10/10. The way they portrayed Will and Hannibal's relationship is so fascinating like it's so complex AND GAY. I WANT ANOTHER SEASON DAMN IT THAT CLIFF HANGER (hehe cliff) HAD BEEN KILLING ME EVER SINCE THE FIRST WATCH!!!!!!

6) the last of us- Ok so confession: I haven't finished the show (I have one episode left but I'm watching it with friends so it's probably going to be a bit before I watch it) BUT FUCK DO I LIKE THIS SHOW. I haven't played the games but from what I heard this is a rare video game adaptation that ISN'T dogshit so I might watch a let's play of the game after we finish it since I like the show so much. This has to be one of the most realistic representations of a zombie apocalypse I've ever seen. (granted I haven't consumed much zombie media and it could be the fact that before this the same friend is showing us the walking dead which granted CAN be good at times the way characters act most of the time at least at the point we were at before taking a break where annoying and frustrating) EPISODE 3 WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER SOBBED AT A SHOW. Fun(?) fact: that date on the letter at the end of that episode august 29 IS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY 😭. I'm afraid of what episode 9 has in store.

7) south park- despite having a dad who quotes this show and would watch episodes in the living room growing up it wasn't until after watching the last of us one time with friends did I ever end up watching a full episode of the show. (I forgot what episode we watched before watching south park but we all decided we needed a pick me up after it) While I'm not obsessed with this show and I haven't seen all of it (if it was possible to watch that much south park without going insane) I still like this show. Another one of those shows I can watch casually without overanalyzing it. Whenever I need a break from writing my fic or whenever I just feel like it I just pick an episode I heard was good and just watch it. The history behind this show and behind certain episodes I've always found interesting. Though I'm going to be honest for now I'm going to avoid most modern episodes cause I've heard mixed things about newer seasons. Butter's own episode, Cartman sucks, and Butters's bottom bitch has to be some of my favorite episodes. if you can't tell by my fav episodes Butters is my favorite character.

8) the owl house - FUCK YOU DISNEY THIS SHOW DESERVED BETTER!!!! Another kid's show I forget is a kid's show. the way the boiling isles are drawn hell the overall art of the show is just so fucking fantastic. THERE'S GAY IN IT!!!! LIKE ACTUAL CANONICAL GAY IN A DISNEY SHOW!!!!! I never thought I would see the day BUT HERE I AM AND AAAAAAA LUZ AND AMITY ARE SOOOO CUTE TOGETHER! KING OMFG KINGGGGGGGGGGG HE'S MY LITTLE BABY AND THE SEASON TWO FINALE MADE ME STRESS EAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. So sad that season three was cut down to three episodes. The idea that something you put a bunch of hard work into can be cut short cause someone didn't like the vibe is fucking BULLSHIT!

I would tag other people here but in the wise words of Laszlo

[amyscascadingtabs]

this is sappy but whatever. i wrote most of this before the season started (which is why i come off as reasonable and somewhat mentally stable about all of this) but felt appropriate to post it now as a thank you. ❤️

i have vivid memories from the night b99 was cancelled. the news came late evening my time, and i had been editing fic and checked twitter and there it was. loud and clear. i don’t remember which site it was but the picture was jake and amy with their wedding cake and that made everything feel even worse.

i remember freaking out even though i had been prepared, because those last days before the news hit on tumblr were... panicked. but i still freaked out to the extent that i ran outside in my pajama pants and hoodie and blue plastic slippers and called my mom, and then i walked up and down the streets where i lived in the darkness and cried in frustration as she tried to talk me down. i remember there were random guys with motorcycles out? but i was too hysterical to care. i’m pretty sure i screamed something to my mom about ”HOW CAN BIG BANG THEORY GET A BILLION SEASONS BUT THIS SHOW GETS CANCELLED????”

i know everyone who was in the fandom at the time has their cancellation story. what played the biggest part in mine was the fact that i felt like i hadn’t had enough time. really, i had only just become active in the fandom, only just started interacting with people on here and writing my first few fics, but i was absolutely loving it. it was giving me happiness again after a long period of emptiness and depressive feelings. when it was cancelled, what made me feel the worst was the fact that i’d had so little time – to make friends, write fic and react to episodes together. i felt deeply jealous of everyone who’d gotten more.

thinking about it coming to an end now has made me remember that night and those feelings of jealousy. because i did get more time. i got three more years. that night, i remember asking for just one, for a half, for anything, and i got three years.

and these three years have been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings and episodes and debates and discussions and gifsets and fanfic and asks and having this as my safe space while pretty much everything changed around me in the outside world, and i just want you all to know that i have never taken a single day of them for granted. this show could have been taken from me before i’d ever gotten the chance to grow with it and alongside it, and instead it was part of my life for three whole years.

i have a really, really good memory (four time quiz champion anyone? just me?okay <3), and i remember so much of it in such detail, and it's so weird to think about how long it's been when it also feels like yesterday.

i remember my first comment on peraltiago parenting experience, my first episode-related fic, the insane high after the renewal, staying up all night to watch the wedding live. i remember writing fanfiction on the beach while on vacation in greece, on a plane to berlin, at home on my parents balcony late late at night. i remember the honeymoon episode title being released, s6 starting filming again, the excitement over every little piece of news and finding about the cast directing. i remember labor fic and christmas fics and when i scroll back to pictures of my paris trip in january 2019 it's interspersed with a billion pictures of andy at the golden globes. i remember lighting my fairy lights in my little basement room and watching season 6 in bed at 2.30 am if it was a big episode, and watching it in the morning before fridays in high school most days. i remember writing post-ep fics during classes and on my phone on subways and trains. i remember the s7 news, and the casecation nerves and debates, and fucking kissgate. being named "the class amy santiago" by my friends when we graduated and getting a little silver paper plate to show for it. i remember the first fic exchange and inventing julian and simon santiago and i remember meeting @johnny-and-dora and eating wagamamas in manchester and talking about how simon santiago was DEFINITELY on the stairs and buying a little fake plant that i named andy plantberg (he's still in a box somewhere). i remember writing fic during slow hours in the ice cream shop i worked at. moving and putting up my framed b99 poster in my own apartment (very much still up). finding out about trying and everyone going fucking crazy. infertility fic. melissa's pregnancy news. s7 promo and standing outside my job the very first day and texting siân "AMY HAS TO PEE!!!!!???" because that was in the promo and we knew there were pregnancy tests involved in the first episode. the crazy happiness of s7 finally premiering. everyone going crazy about jake and amy deciding to start trying and how i could quote the scene verbatim the next few days. the week leading up to trying, what turned out to be the last normal week before the pandemic. the fucking MESS i was after that. the following week and ding dong and crying with happiness. being dizzy with hyperfixation joy the following day and barely feeling aware of the covid pandemic for the first few days because i was just thinking about jake and amy having a baby. getting through the first few weeks mostly because of b99. admiral peralta and finding out we were having a BOY and not even being disappointed even though the headcanon had been the opposite for years because it was perfect. the iconic b99 quizzes. lights out and mac being born. somehow managing 475 days before season 8, coping together when we got the news about the final season, watching the cast do their final day of filming. the first stream being interrupted by a storm warning and cutting out several minutes because of course. getting to see parents peraltiago and MAC and the insane speed with which those few seconds were giffed. more b99 quizzes. the vow renewal. the finale.

i remember all of it and so much more and as much as my heart is breaking, i’m trying to remind myself that i could have gotten none of this.

brooklyn nine-nine has been such an important part of my life. and it always, always will be, forever. i could have lost it all that night, and instead i got three more years. if i'd known that when i was walking the streets outside my house in the darkness in complete panic, i would have cried with happiness.

so thank you. all of you. for everything. ❤️❤️❤️ for the friendships, the joy, the asks, the debates, the fic response, EVERYTHING. whether we've shared three years or one or less, just know that i'm so grateful.

have some random pictures i found and screenshots from my private instagram (which is inactive so don't bother) from when i started this hyperfixation. jesus lmao 😭😭😭😭 i am less insane now. no i'm not. but i express it less on instagram.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

 Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.  

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina. 

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale. 

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real. 

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life. 

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought  it up once this season. 

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst. 

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off. 

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb. 

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1. 

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series. 

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes. 

Until next season Wildcats

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i finished saved by the bell season two, and even though there’s no way to remember all the things i loved (i.e. EVERYTHING!), i’ll just list some things that extra delighted me--

i have always thought there was a little something way underneath the surface with daisy and mac and their dynamic is SO enjoyable, so i loved the slowburn hints that there are feelings there. she only dates guys that win the spirit competition!!!!!!

i did not see the gil twist coming and found it hilarious. do you think he was named in homage to gilbert blythe? (in addition to in homage to his evil scheme.)

lexi remains the absolute light of my life. light! of! my life!!!!!!!!!! also she and jamie were so cute this season!

aisha and chloe!!!!! did not see it coming and LOVED that romance! they are adorable.

i also really loved all of 2.05 and ending on the note of the importance of queer joy rather than getting bogged down in the omnipresent news of injustice & suffering, that was so powerful.

the spanish class storyline was also excellent! in addition to being a great storyline for aisha, i really liked how they incorporated slater into that storyline and how he pointed out that his culture was never really acknowledged in the original series.

kelly deciding to find herself career-wise after a legacy of just being The Nice Babe And Dream Girl (i think, i don’t know the original series super well) was such a fun storyline. BOATS HAVE PHONES???? it wasn’t fate, it was HER dumb ass???? also, props to the kelly/jessie-shipping librarian. you do you, lady.

everything slater and jessie was SO perfect, i was just delighted. (and i may have gone back and watched both their kissing scenes again, a very nerdy sort of indulgence that i have not really experienced in years. but there weren’t enough gifs and i just needed to live it again!) they are friends!!!! slater’s doing therapy and figuring himself and his very continuity-challenged past out and also knows that confessing his feelings for jessie right after she got divorced isn’t what she needs!!! jessie is free from her terrible marriage!!! he’s her best friend, you dumb dick!!!! (or whatever that line was. i was SO tickled.) the KISSING! two KISSES! and SLOW-DANCING! i also loved the reconstructed flashbacks of all the times they’ve kissed and it was a bad idea, hahaha. anyway, sometimes romance is pointing out that your beloved high school sweetheart/nemesis turned adulthood colleague and best friend has a rat skull in her hair.

the j.k. rowling + joss whedon + armie hammer burns were ON FIRE

devante also had a lot of great material this season and i love his dynamic with his ladylove! they are SO cute together.

i am so happy that john michael higgins blesses my tv with his hilarity as poor ron-ron toddman

this show is perfect and i love it with every dear and tender feeling in my soul (or something) -- i almost daren’t hope it gets renewed, since i’m pretty sure i read somewhere that even peacock itself seems like it’s going to get canceled, but also I WANT MORE, THIS SHOW IS PERFECT. give it a chance, COWARDS! / obscure cougar town reference

have you ever tortured someone by chaining them to a radiator and forcing them to read the autobiography of the person who invented the dimmer switch

lexi’s dance marathon dress was ALIVE

the jokes on this show are Good

truly, what a blessing that we live in a day and age where a show like this can exist!

[lambourngb]

Five sentence fic ask: "He'd never seen the photograph before."

Sequel to THIS and THIS

He'd never seen the photograph before.

With the tap repaired, thankfully Alex had moved on to playing something less devastating to Michael’s equilibrium, like old Townes Van Zandt in the bar. The urge to flee was quieter as he hummed along with Alex’s voice, “All the Federales say, they could have had him any day, they only let him slip away, out of kindness I suppose,” and inspected the wall of photographs Maria had installed on the back wall of the bar. 

The garish light up Indian Head was gone, finally mothballed in the wake of Hank Gibbons’s declared death. It was a long, sorted story that started with the original owner of the bar leaving a clause in his transfer of ownership to Maria, tying the offensive neon wall ornament to Hank’s patronage of the bar. With Hank dead, at least legally declared so, Maria had eagerly filled the space with candid snapshots of the Wild Pony patrons and open mic nights.

A particular shot of Forrest Long caught Michael’s eye. His head was tipped back, clearly laughing loudly, but next to him, draped with a way-too-friendly arm around him was a man. A not-Alex man. Michael leaned in closer, studying the surroundings of the photo with the setup of the Wild Pony, trying desperately to age the photo. Was this before he dated Alex? Was that just a very affectionate friend who was comfortable staring at Forrest like he was some sort of meal? It would take a serious set of balls to cheat on Alex in the bar of his best friend and to allow photographic evidence to become part of the decor.

He was so involved in studying the photo, he didn’t notice when the music stopped in the background until Alex’s voice startled him, “That’s Adam.”

“Good friend, then?”

“Really good friend,” Alex answered with an emotionless voice, then seeing something in Michael’s face he relented with a small smirk, “he’s Forrest’s new boyfriend. We broke up last month.” His eyes flickered to the photo and then back to Michael, “And there’s no need to glare at the photo, it was amicable. We’re all still friends.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Michael answered like the uncharted genius he was. “That you guys stayed friends. That’s nice. Friends are good.” 

Alex’s smile went crooked with amusement at Michael’s babbling. His eyebrows lifted inquiry, “So are you done doing what you’re doing?”

Michael’s first thought went to the careful space they had been sharing as friends while Alex was with someone else. He wanted to be done with that. He really wanted to reach forward, to close that space with something out of his dreams for them. Then reality set in, as he watched Alex turn toward the bar and then back to him. It was a question about the repairs. 

“Yeah, it’s all set.” He still didn’t want to leave, but he had run out of ploys. “What about you? You all ready for ‘American Idol’ now?”

“I think that’s been canceled. If I were to audition it would ‘America’s Got Talent’ or the Voice, but my anxiety has its hands full with the Wild Pony amateur nights.” The gentle correction rolled into a self-deprecating joke kept Michael smiling back at him. After a too long pause, Alex turned toward where the stools were still in place, and the rack of guitars next to them. “I have one more song to practice, but it requires another guitarist.” 

This time there was no mistaking Alex’s expression for anything but entreaty. 

“Me?” Michael glanced down at his wrapped hand. Alex followed his gaze but stayed silent as Michael flexed his fingers around the bandana. The last time he had played a guitar, it was here at the Wild Pony. The ashes of Caulfield were still in his hair, his trust in things being okay had been fragile and stretched, and then Maria had smiled at him. Hope, renewed hope, that maybe he could be human. Maybe he could be what she wanted. Then he played her guitar, buoyed on that brief respite from reality. The calm to his chaos, not as complete as he remembered as a teenager but still he could hide there for a while in that feeling of normalcy. 

Then his brother had died, almost before the song had finished, and nothing was normal for a long time afterwards.

Time was a vicious circle. Caulfield would never wash fully off him, and here he was, standing in that same place, wondering if renewed hope would kill him this time. Who would die this time if he were to pick up a guitar again, and strum a few notes into the air under the cover of a normal, low-stakes friendship with this man? 

That was too morbid.

“There’s no one here. You can take that off, and no one but me will see it and I already know.” 

He opened his mouth to Alex, to tell him it wasn’t the bandana that kept his hands off a musical instrument, that it still felt like an escape he hadn’t earned. Before Michael could answer, Alex pressed his advantage, “Please Michael? We haven’t played music since we were 17. It’s one of few good memories I have from high school.”

What could he do then, but agree. 

****

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Breakable Heaven (pt. II) - p.l. dubois

Part I

Part two is here! Things start to heat up in this chapter, exciting stuff’s happening! I hope you guys like reading it as much as I’m loving writing - please slide into my inbox, let me know what you think! Reblogs are amazing too, it’s how we know people are liking what we’re putting out and helps to reach more people! (Plus it’s one of the joys of my life to read the tags. Seriously, so much fun.)

Part II (7.2k)

June 18 (fri)

“If we’re going to do this, we’ve got to sell it,” Laurel said, running a hand through her hair. “The fewer people who know the truth, the better.” 

Pierre nodded. “Agreed.” He sat back in his chair. “What do you think your parents will say?” 

Laurel laughed. “Uh, they think I’m seeing someone, actually.”

 “Oh?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded, “it was easier to just say I had a boyfriend than deal with their endless pestering, you know?” 

“So they’d buy it if you just told them you were getting married?” 

She shrugged. “I think so. You know we’re not particularly close, they haven’t met any of my boyfriends since I was in high school. So if I told them I was engaged, I don’t think they’d bat an eye, if I’m honest.” Pierre could sense there was more to the story, more that she wasn’t telling him, but he didn’t want to press. “What about yours?” she asked. 

“Well, we’ve got a couple options,” Pierre said, cracking a smile and leaning back into the cushions. “It was a drunken mistake.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “Then they’d just tell us to get a divorce.” 

“We fell in love after the first date.”

“Even less believable,” Laurel said, the corner of her lip twitching. 

“Or…,” Pierre said, kicking his feet up on the ottoman, a wicked grin on his face, “I got you pregnant and want to do the right thing.” 

Laurel snorted. “Little issue there.” 

“What?” 

“I’m not pregnant.”

Pierre ducked his head, blushing. “Right. There’s that.”

She nodded. “There’s that.” She tapped her fingers on the coffee table. “I’ve got it.” Pierre looked up. “We’ve been friends for a long time, couple years or something. Madeline went to York, so we met when you and Patrice came to visit. We realized we had feelings for each other a few months ago, everything moved super quickly since we already knew each other and had that foundation.”

“So we thought ‘why wait,’” Pierre finished. 

“Exactly,” Laurel said. “Why wait, if we already knew.”

“It’s a classic friends-to-lovers story, a tale as old as time,” he sighed wistfully. 

Laurel slapped his shoulder. “This is serious,” she said, but she was smiling all the same. “Okay, so we’ve at least got that worked out. Madeline and Patrice will obviously know, but other than that…” She trailed off. 

He nodded, and an understanding passed between them. “It’s a need-to-know basis.”

“It is.” Laurel shifted her laptop on the coffee table, squeezing closer to Pierre so he could see the screen. “So, we have to go down to the courthouse for a meeting with the court clerk who will perform the ceremony, bring birth certificates and ID, and —”

He glanced over at Laurel, her tongue caught between her teeth. “And?”

“You have to publish a declaration of intent to marry twenty days before the wedding. Online. In public.” 

Pierre looked oblivious. “So?”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “So, it has the date of the wedding and our full names and our whole entire addresses. And in case you’ve forgotten, you’re kind of a professional hockey player.” 

He shrugged. “All due respect, Laurel, but,” he glanced at the website, “who actually checks these things?” He had a point there, she thought, but she wasn’t about to let him win. 

“But your address, you’re not worried about that getting out there?”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted. “But my building’s got a receptionist and I’ve got locks on my doors. And plus,” Pierre added, “I’ve really never had much of a problem flying under the radar here. When I go back home, back to the suburbs, sure. And a little bit in Columbus, obviously. But there’s what, two million people in Montréal? I’m not on the Habs, so even the hockey fans here really couldn’t care less.”

She laughed. “Fair enough. Also, uh, living situation. We should probably talk about that.” 

“You’re moving in with me?” He said it like a question, but not as if it was something that would surprise him, or something he was opposed to. He said it like it was something he already knew the answer to. “I’ve got three rooms, plenty of space, Phil and Georgia would love to have a new sister. You and Piper would fit right in,” he said, reaching down to scratch her behind the ears. “Plus it’s got a great gym in the lobby, you can cancel your membership to that seedy place downtown with that trainer who always stares at you when you do weights.” Laurel’s ears perked up; she was surprised he remembered. She did have a gym downtown that she tried to make it to a few times a week, and there was that one creepy trainer, but she had only mentioned it to him once in passing. “Plus it has hot yoga once a week, and I know you’ve been dying to try.” That much was true. 

“At least let me help pay for rent,” she tried to bargain. 

“Nope!” he said, wincing a second later. “I didn’t mean it in like a patronizing way, I know you’re perfectly capable of pulling your own weight. I meant like I bought it outright, so there’s no rent to be paid. I’ll let you pay the electricity bill if you want?”

Laurel grinned. “That would make me feel better, thank you.” After looking at her computer for a minute, she spoke again. “How long have you had the apartment for?”

Pierre scratched his chin. “Couple years? I bought it after signing the contract this year. Some guys buy a Lamborghini, I bought an apartment. I don’t own the place in Columbus though.”

“How come?” Laurel asked, though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. 

“Even with the contract, so much is up in the air. I could get traded in the middle of the season, or in the summer or whenever, and I don’t want to have just bought a house when I’ve got to move to Vancouver or wherever when the ink hasn’t even dried on the papers.”

This time, it was Laurel’s turn to leave with an unsaid question. “Is tomorrow good? To go down and get everything squared away at the courthouse?”

He bobbed his head. “Yeah, I’ve got some off-ice training in the morning, but any time after noon or so is good for me.”

Laurel nodded, making a few taps on her computer. “Okay, I’ve got us booked in at one, that good?”

“Yeah,” Pierre said, nodding in affirmation. “Now I’ve got to come up with an excuse to drive to my parents’ and get my birth certificate.”

---

It didn’t actually turn out to be all that difficult for Pierre; he made the drive back to Saint-Agathe-des-Monts later that afternoon, telling his parents he needed it to renew his health insurance card. He wasn’t sure they actually believed him, but his mom didn’t bat an eye before handing it over. Pierre spent the rest of the evening at home, cooking pasta, petting the dogs, and wondering what in the hell he had agreed to. He wasn’t second-guessing himself, not by a long-shot, but when she clicked that button to book their appointment, the gravity of the situation finally started to hit him. In less than a month, he was going to be getting married. 

June 19 (sat) 

Laurel met Pierre on the steps of the Montréal courthouse at a quarter to one the next day, clutching the straps of her tote like a lifeline. “Woah, Laurel, you’re holding that like you’ve got a bomb in there,” Pierre said. 

She flashed him a nervous smile. “No bomb, just very official very legal documents. Don’t want to lose it.” 

He held out his hand. “You ready?” 

Laurel was surprised at the gesture. Not shocked that he was being kind, but that he was cognizant enough to recognize that she was nervous, and wanted to do something about it. She took his hand. “Ready.”

It only took a minute to find the office, and a few more before the receptionist called them back to the clerk’s office. She introduced herself as Juliette Bergeron, congratulated them on their engagement, and asked to see the paperwork. Passports and birth certificates were handed over, signatures were signed on dotted lines, and half an hour later, they walked out of the courthouse with an appointment for a wedding on July 10. 

“Well, there’s that crossed off the checklist,” Laurel said, leaning up against the handrails as they stood on the courthouse steps. They had actually made a real checklist, a series of tasks on a shared Notes page of everything that needed to be completed before the wedding. Book the ceremony and post the public notice were done, but there were still a dozen-odd tasks left before they actually could get married. Starting with telling their parents. While they had developed as airtight a cover story as she supposed one could when they were committing what would charitably be referred to as citizenship fraud, they had agreed it was going to be far less messy to “come clean” as fiancés than after the wedding. Laurel had wanted to text them the news, or call so early they’d still be asleep and she could just avoid the conversation altogether, but Pierre had convinced her to FaceTime. “I know you guys aren’t super close, but I think they deserve that much, Laurel,” he had said, and he was right. Deep down, she knew he was right. 

“Ready?” Pierre asked, rubbing her back soothingly. 

Laurel flashed him a tight smile before pressing her mom’s contact. “As I’ll ever be.” Three agonizingly long rings later, her mom picked up. 

“Laurel? What are you doing calling, honey? Is everything okay?”

She let out a nervous giggle. “Does something have to be wrong for me to call my parents?”

“No,” Cheryl clucked, “but to be fair, you don’t call often.”

Laurel rubbed the back of her neck in discomfort. “That’s true. Uh, anyways, is dad there?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” her mom said, starting to catch onto the fact that maybe this wasn’t quite your run-of-the-mill check-in call. “What’s this all about, pumpkin?” 

The old term of endearment, one she hadn’t heard in years, brought tears to the corners of her eyes. “Can you call him in? I’d rather tell you both at the same time.”

Cheryl nodded, worry crossing her brow. “Doug? Laurel’s on the phone, she’s got something to tell us. Sounds important.”

“Coming,” Laurel heard her dad say in the background. A moment later, he padded into view. “Hey, Laurel, Mom said you’ve got some news?” 

Laurel nodded. “Yeah, just something I thought you guys should know. It’s not bad, you’re just going to be surprised, so I need you to keep an open mind, okay?”

“Who is he?” Doug asked, rubbing his forehead with an exasperated expression. 

She blanched. “He? Who’s he?” There’s no way he guessed...right?

“The jackass who got you pregnant, who else?” 

Laurel almost choked on her own spit. “Pregnant? Who said I’m pregnant? I’m not pregnant!”

Both of her parents let out an audible sigh of relief. “Well, Laurel, what conclusion did you expect us to jump to when you called us out of the blue and said you had important news?”

Laurel bit her lip; they had a point. “Fair. But, uh, rest assured, I’m not pregnant. I’m smarter than that.” She paused, steeling her nerves. “Remember that guy I told you I was seeing a few months ago?”

Her mom squinted like she was looking into the sun. “Vaguely? You didn’t really tell us much about him. Just that he was tall, nice, you met through friends.” It was a believable enough explanation back then, and Laurel was beyond grateful it dovetailed perfectly into the story she and Pierre had conjured up. “You didn’t even tell us his name.”

Laurel reached out her free hand, the one that wasn’t holding the phone, and made a grabby motion for his hand. He interlaced his fingers with hers. “Well, his name’s Pierre-Luc Dubois—”

Doug interrupted. “Very French.”

She grimaced. “I do live in Québec, Dad. But anyways, his name’s Pierre-Luc Dubois and we’re getting married.”

They sat still on the other end of the call, so still that if it weren’t for her mom’s rapid blinking she would have thought the call had been dropped. “Married?” her mom asked softly. 

“Yes, married.”

“How long have you even been seeing each other?” Doug asked, dumbfounded. 

“A little under six months. I know it’s not long, and I know it seems sudden, but we’ve known each other for a long time, you know? We met when I was still back in Toronto at university, Madeline introduced us.” Her parents nodded; Madeline, they knew. Madeline, they had met. Madeline, they trusted. “And we finally realized a little bit after New Year’s that we had feelings for each other, and it’s sort of been zero to a hundred ever since. We thought, if we knew we loved each other and we knew we were done looking, then what was the point of waiting for a year or two for it to be a ‘socially acceptable’ time to get married.” Laurel finished. 

Cheryl wrapped her hands around her mug of tea, eyelids still shooting rapid-fire blinks at the screen. “But, Laurel, we haven’t even met this boy, we barely know anything about him!”

Pierre squeezed her hand. “Actually, he’s just off-camera. Want to say hi, P?” 

He walked into view, waving politely at the screen. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Klerken, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Laurel’s had nothing but wonderful things to say.” A little flattery never hurt anybody, he thought. 

“Lovely to meet you, Pierre-Luc,” Cheryl said. “Forgive us if we’re still a little shocked, Laurel’s not normally one to spring things on us like this.”

He laughed. “Perfectly fair. I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to meet until now, but we’ve been trying to get used to the idea ourselves.”

Her dad leaned forward from his spot in the couch, giving Pierre as much of a once-over as he could from nearly 1500 miles away. “I’m not able to give you the normal talking-to I have with any of the other boys Laurel or Maggie have introduced us to, so this is going to have to do.” Maggie? Laurel had primed Pierre for the inevitable grilling, telling him that if it was anything like it had been in the past, it would be all bark and no bite. “So what do you do for work, Pierre-Luc?”

“I’m a professional hockey player in the NHL, I play for the Columbus Blue Jackets.” 

Doug’s eyebrows went up. As much of a front as he tried to put up, he was still a middle-aged man from Minnesota, and there were few things that impressed middle-aged men from Minnesota more than their daughters being suddenly engaged to NHL players. “NHL, huh? That’s very impressive. So you’re from Québec, then?”

“Yes, sir,” Pierre answered. “My hometown’s a little outside of the city, but I live in Montréal now. My mom’s from Georgia, though, so I’ve got dual citizenship and some family still down there.” 

Her parents didn’t take too kindly to the news that the wedding was in three weeks, since it was too tight a fit to be able to get time off, but promised to visit later in the summer to make a proper introduction to their new son-in-law. Her father continued to pepper him with questions about his hobbies, family, and how he takes his steak — according to the Doug Klerken rules, any man who orders anything above medium is not to be trusted — until Laurel mercifully cut him off, telling her parents they were late to meet up with some friends. “That wasn’t so bad,” Pierre said as Laurel slipped her phone into her purse, immediately plugging it into her portable charger as the FaceTime had drained all but 18% of her battery. 

Laurel made a face. “They’re good people and they care about me, but…” She trailed off. “They never really understood why I’d want anything more than I was given. Anything more than the status quo. And it’s just caused a lot of friction between us.” Her eyes flashed as she remembered something. “One more thing.” Pierre’s ears perked up. “If and when you ever talk to my parents again, just...don’t bring up politics.” Laurel grimaced. 

“Republicans?” he asked sympathetically. 

She nodded. “Trump-supporting Republicans. It’s another one of the reasons we don’t talk much anymore. I’m liberal, I’d probably be NDP if I could vote here, and we just don’t share the same values on a lot of things.”

“That’s got to be pretty rough on you,” Pierre said.

“Yeah,” Laurel admitted. “Probably more than I want to let on, but I think it helps that I’m able to get some distance.”

Pierre took a deep breath in. “Your, uh, your dad mentioned something that I wanted to ask you about.” 

Shit. Laurel had been able to avoid the conversation for long enough, but she was beginning to push her luck, and she couldn’t run forever. “Maggie?”

He nodded. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but I thought I should ask.”

“Yeah, no, I get it,” Laurel said. “Um, long story short, Maggie’s my sister. It’s July, so…” she did the mental math in her head, “she’d be almost 31. Total free spirit. She left town pretty soon after she graduated, came back every so often but not nearly enough. Last I heard, she was an au pair in Italy.”

“And when was that?”

“Two years ago.” Pierre figured that was as good a time as any to drop the subject, so he did. They had decided that, while they were still downtown, it would be a good opportunity to get the ring shopping out of the way. Pierre looked up the highest-rated jewelry store on Yelp, and they set off on foot. 

Pierre opened the door for her as they stepped inside, greeted by a slightly over-enthusiastic salesman. “You paid for the ceremony fee, so I’m paying for the rings, okay?”

Laurel scoffed. “Hardly a fair trade, don’t you think?”

“I’ll live,” he said, smirking. 

Laurel had been wandering around by the solitaires for a few minutes when Pierre walked up behind her. “I know this isn’t going to be the wedding you’ve always dreamed of,” Pierre said, “but we’re going to make it the best we can.” He looked down at the cases, Laurel’s fingers dancing over the edge of the glass cover. “When you were in high school, or university, did you ever think about what kind of wedding you wanted?” Laurel gave a small nod. “And what kind of ring did you have?”

“I’ve always liked halo cuts,” she said softly.

Pierre inched his hand towards hers, wrapping his fingers around hers. They tensed for a second, but then relaxed into his grip. “Then let’s go get you that halo cut.”

There was no one else in the store aside from the salesman, so the couple was enveloped in a comfortable silence as they browsed. Her eyes stopped on a beautiful floral halo ring with an oval diamond. Pierre nodded to the salesman, who carefully took it off of its stand and handed it to Pierre, who carefully wiggled it onto Laurel’s fourth finger. If she closed her eyes, she was almost able to pretend that it was a proposal. Laurel brought her thumb to the ring, delicately running it over the pavé band with the ghost of a smile on her face. “What do you think?” Pierre asked, as if he couldn’t already tell her answer from the look on her face. 

Laurel looked up at him. “I love it. It fits perfectly.”

“Like Cinderella’s slipper.” He turned to the salesman. “Combien ça coûte?” (How much does it cost?) Laurel heard a number that made her swallow hard, more than anything she’d ever have bought for herself, but Pierre insisted it was a non-issue as he handed his card over. “He said that they’ve got another sample one in the back, and you’re welcome to just wear that one out if it fits.”

“Sounds good.” The salesman handed over the bag with Pierre’s ring and her matching wedding band, thanking them for their purchase before opening the door back into the sunny Montréal afternoon. Laurel craned her neck to try and sneak a peek inside the bag. “Don’t I get to see yours?”

Pierre cracked a wry grin. “Gotta wait until the wedding, babe. Can’t a man have a little mystery?”

“Fair enough,” Laurel said, not missing his use of the pet name but brushing it off as simply a spur-of-the-moment choice. “Do you want to do the honors?” she asked, referring to the all-important checklist. 

Pierre opened his phone with his spare hand, deftly navigating to the app and tapping twice. “Four down, seven to go. We’re on a roll. 

June 24 (thurs)

Surprisingly, telling Pierre-Luc’s parents hadn’t been nearly as intimidating as breaking the news to her own, at least for Laurel. They were shocked — and confused, and had a lot of questions — but were welcoming nonetheless. Patrice was almost like a second son to them, and the fact that she already came with his stamp of approval went a long way into calming them down. “He’s always been quite the romantic, the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. And he cares deeply about the people in his life. That’s you, now,” his mom had said. They drove up to meet them that Sunday, having brunch in his childhood home. That was, in essence, their first real “test” as a couple. They had never had to sell their relationship to anyone before; even when going out with Madeline and Patrice after their “engagement,” nothing ever seemed like it had changed. This time was different. This time had to be different.

His mom fawned over her engagement ring, asking her to spare no details in retelling the story of the proposal. Lucky for her, however, Laurel was the former president of the University of Toronto improv club, and coming up with background stories with exactly zero minutes to prepare was something of a specialty for her. Laurel immediately gushed about how unexpected it was; she was just expecting an evening walk through downtown until they turned down one of the piers by the basilica, reached the end overlooking the river, and Pierre dropped down on one knee. “I think I knew that he was the one way sooner than that, but it’s nice to finally have it be official,” she had said. 

Laurel shook herself out of her memories, turning the door into the locker room. She grabbed a pair of scrubs out of her shared locker — she had never met Alice, the other nurse who used it, but they had made a habit of leaving each other Post-it note greetings — and stripped off her t-shirt and jeans. Shimmying on her scrub pants, she tied them, leaning back into the locker to get her bag as the door shut behind her. She glanced over to the door, waving to Claire. Claire was sweet, a transplant from Vancouver who had lived in Québec as a child and decided to come back to work. She was sweet, having just started working at the beginning of the summer, but she was young, even younger than Laurel. And while her perky and energetic nature lent itself well to the dynamics of the floor, it was a lot for her to get used to. “Hey!” Laurel said, waving as she pulled a chain out of her purse, trying to discreetly unhook it. 

“Hey!” Claire responded, perky as ever. “How has your week been?” She worked Mondays and Thursdays with Laurel, but had the Saturday night shift as well. 

Laurel threw her hair up into a bun. “Good, good, busy. Met up with some friends yesterday, so that was nice, but not much. Took Piper to the dog park.” With my fiancé, she neglected to add. She twisted her ring off, trying to slip it onto the chain without Claire noticing. Like most of her married colleagues, Laurel had taken to wearing her engagement ring on a chain around her neck while at work instead of on her finger. It was under her scrubs most of the time, keeping at bay the questions she wasn’t yet ready to answer, and made it much easier to pull on and off gloves when the occasion called for it. But Claire was eagle-eyed, catching the sparkle of the diamond just as she slid it onto the chain.

She audibly gasped. “Is that an engagement ring?” 

Laurel had to think fast; once again, her improv skills were called up to bat. “No? It’s, uh, it’s a family heirloom, it was my grandma’s. Guess I didn’t think too much about which finger I put it on.” She could tell Claire didn’t quite believe her side of the story, but thankfully, she didn’t press. 

“If you say so,” she said, giving a not-so-subtle wink. 

June 27 (sun)

Laurel was sat in her living room, her TV on in the background as she scrolled absent-mindedly through her phone, savoring her last few hours before she had to go to bed for her 5:30 wake-up call. On a whim, she opened her Twitter. It wasn’t an app she used all that often — mostly just to keep in contact with the handful of high school and college friends who didn’t use Instagram — and she was well aware that she’d probably have to limit her use for her own sanity when she and Pierre went “public” after the wedding, but she liked being able to keep up with everyone. She followed her friends, a handful of celebrities and a few journalists, but her timeline wasn’t flooded with updates. Then she saw the little blue alert on the bottom. One new message. Clicking to her inbox, Laurel saw that it had been sent by Madeline four minutes earlier, a link to a tweet that just had the caption: “you should probably see this.”

Chewing the inside of her cheek, Laurel pressed the link. What could be so important that Madeline would have sent a message with that kind of urgency? And why didn’t she just text it? God, I hate puckbunny blogs, Laurel thought as she read the handle. Her eyes raced across the screen. So I was looking up the address of my friend’s wedding earlier since I lost my invitation and didn’t want to tell her, and saw this under??? I know he can be a private guy, but tell me you guys don’t think this is for PLD. Her eyes froze as soon as she finished reading, praying that somehow they were talking about a different PLD, that they hadn’t been found out and their cover hadn’t been blown and she wasn’t about to have a panic attack for the first time since junior year  — and then she saw the screenshot. Of their wedding announcement. Their public wedding announcement that not only had their full names and places of birth, but the location of the ceremony, the time, and their addresses. God, this is exactly what Laurel had been worried about. She immediately reported the tweet for exposing personal information, then made the poor decision to look at the comments section. Some people insisted it was legitimate, some convinced it was just photoshop, some were convinced that it couldn’t be Pierre-Luc even it looked like him, because he was training in Columbus for the summer, right? Thank God, it didn’t seem like anyone had done a deep enough dive to figure out who she was; there weren’t any screenshots of her accounts or photos of her in the comments section. It was eight minutes from the time she reported it to when it was taken down, and while Laurel was grateful for the quick response, she felt like she was on a cliffside, one foot off of the edge, until it had been deleted. 

Her phone lit up with a text notification from Pierre. Funny thing happened today. 

Oh God, Laurel thought. Had he seen it? He hadn’t.

My mom asked what you were planning to do about flowers and got very upset when I said we didn’t have any plans. She let out a tense breath. Flowers, she could do. She wanted to get your number to send over the names of a few florists she knows in the area, but I thought I should check with you first to make sure that’s okay. 

Laurel smiled, her right hand draped over the side of the couch to scratch Piper behind the ears. That sounds great, P. 

As promised, his mom texted Laurel soon after, coming armed with recommendations of Montréal florists. She echoed her son’s words almost identically; You deserve to have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of even if the circumstances are different, she had written. Her eyes pricked with tears as she fell asleep. 

July 3 (sun)

It was a week before the wedding, and Laurel had started to pack up her apartment. It seemed much more practical to do it in stages then try to finish everything the weekend of the wedding. So she sat with Pierre on the floor of her bedroom, moving boxes between them as they packed away into the next season of her life. Some things, she obviously couldn’t put away yet — she still needed clothes and toothpaste, and they hadn’t been able to get all of her pots and pans down to the Goodwill yet. But books and keepsakes could be boxed up, and unless there was a snowstorm in July, she didn’t need her parka either. 

“Oh, what’s this?” Pierre asked as he pulled a few more volumes off of her bookshelf. Laurel groaned  when she saw what was in his hand. 

“The 2013 Cloquet Senior High School yearbook. My sophomore year.”

He burst out laughing. “This, I’ve got to see.” He opened the cover. “Your mascot was the Lumberjacks?”

Laurel ducked her head, her cheeks heating. “Regrettably, yes. That’s what happens when your whole area used to be milling towns.”

Pierre’s brows furrowed. “I thought you said everything was about the mines, doesn’t your dad work in the mines?”

“He does,” Laurel said. “They had to figure out something to do after all of the trees had been cut down, you know?”

Pierre got the feeling it was really more of a rhetorical question. “What was your school like?” 

She placed one of her old Harry Potter books into the box. “Small is the first word that comes to mind. My graduating class couldn’t have been much bigger than 150 or so? We’d get snow days a couple of times a year, most of the time if it wasn’t a blizzard everyone would end up going down to the school anyways, we’d all have big snowball fights on the football field. Actually,” she said, pulling out her phone from her back pocket, “I think I might still have a clip of one.” She pulled up her videos, scooting over to Pierre and leaning into his side so he could see the screen. Raucous laughter filtered through the speakers; the only things in sight were snow forts and the tiniest bits of beanies peeking over the top. 

“THIS. IS. WAR!” 

Laurel snickered. “I think that sounds like Nicholas, he was the varsity quarterback for a few years. Usually was the one leading the sieges.” She put her phone away a minute later after the clip ended. “But other than that? There were actually a lot of pretty interesting elective classes, I got to take photography, work in the preschool on campus, take a class on Anishinaabe studies.”

“Anishinaabe?” Pierre questioned. 

“There’s a Native American reservation in town, the tribe’s Ojibwe so that’s the language family we studied. A lot of kids at the school, including one of my best friends Kristen, live on the reservation, so I think they wanted to not only have the class available for Native students who maybe wanted to learn more about their culture, but also for non-Native kids like me, so we’re able to gain a respect for whose land we’re living on,” Laurel explained. 

“Makes sense,” he said, flipping through the pages. He snorted. “This photo might be the best thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Laurel peeked over his shoulder, cringing at her school picture. “I really couldn’t have dressed any more 2012 if I tried, Pierre. Aggressively off-the-shoulder top, one of those godforsaken hair feathers, I bet you’d find dark wash skinny jeans if you could see from the waist down.”

“Hey, don’t talk about my fiancée like that,” Pierre said. “I like the look, I swear. You were such a cute kid, oh my God.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know. What happened to me, right?”

He looked at her from the side. “Nope.”

 June 9 (fri)

 It was the day before the wedding, and Laurel was trying to find a dress. She had been planning on wearing one — even if it was a courthouse wedding, she still wanted to look nice — but then she had spilled red wine onto the light blue one she had been thinking of wearing as she ironed it in the living room, and she didn’t want to put all of her eggs in one basket if the Oxiclean didn’t end up working. She called Madeline in a panic, who promised to be over as soon as she could with a few dresses of her own to see what she could do. There was a knock on the door, and Laurel practically flew across the room to fling it open, gathering Madeline in a hug even before she had crossed the threshold. Madeline patted her clumsily on the back. “There, there, Laur. It’s going to be okay, we’re going to fix it.”

Laurel ran one hand through her hair, her curls as frazzled as her mind. “It’s got to be. Half of my stuff’s already over at P’s place, what, do you want me to wear a,” she opened up her dresser, eyeing its meager contents, “bralette and lacy thong to my own wedding?”

Madeline shrugged. “I doubt Pierre would mind,” she said casually. 

Laurel almost choked on her own spit. “What do you mean?”

“Men are visual creatures, and you’re hot as hell, Laurel,” she stated matter-of-factly. 

“Still,” Laurel said, opening her closet and grabbing every single left over dress from its hanger, trying to distract herself from Madeline’s words, “I’d rather not be arrested for public indecency. I’m trying to stay in the country, remember?”

Madeline rolled her eyes. “I remember.” She thumbed through the dresses on Laurel’s bed. “You’re not wearing a black dress to get married,” she said pointedly. 

“It’s pretty?” Laurel tried to reason.

“It is, but it’s a wedding, not a funeral.” She moved onto the next one. “Bright red bodycon is great for the club, but not sure coquettish seductress is the look you’re going for.” The next one was a striped sweater dress; it was the middle of summer, so according to Madeline, that meant it was out. There was a navy shift dress that “could work, but it’s a little too much work and not enough play,” her friend had said. Laurel tried on Madeline’s dresses, but seeing as how she had three inches on her, the hemlines weren’t exactly in her favor. Madeline pulled out the last of the stack, gasping softly. “This one’s beautiful, where’s it from?”

Madeline looked at it, a knee-length ivory lace dress, rolling her eyes good-naturedly at Madeline. “It was for Aurélie’s bachelorette party last year, probably explains. You were drunk off your ass that night.”

“I’m hurt by that characterization, but I don’t remember enough to correct you,” Madeline said. “It’s perfect though, why didn’t you choose this one in the first place?”

Laurel rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m not sure?” Madeline gave her a look. “Fine, it just seems...It seems too much like an actual wedding dress. It’s white, or close enough, anyways,” she noted, fingering one of the delicate straps, “and gorgeous, and formal, and I’m worried if I wear it it’ll seem too real, and I’ll start thinking this is more than it is. Because all it is at the end of the day is a friend doing me a really, really big favor,” she finished, huffing and falling back onto her mattress. 

“At the end of the day, it’s still a wedding,” Madeline corrected, laying down next to her. “And you’re still a bride and he’s still a groom and you deserve to feel beautiful and cherished and special on your wedding day, no matter its circumstances. And who knows? Maybe you two stay married, and fall in love, and you live happily ever after with your half-dozen dogs and 2.5 kids on some farm out in the suburbs.”

Laurel snorted. “As if.” But two hours later, long after Madeline had already left, she sat back on the bed, hand ghosting over the lace of her now-wedding dress, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Madeline had a point.�� 

June 10 (sat) 

It was the morning of the wedding, and Laurel was pacing her room in her sweatpants, Piper looking at her in confusion from the doorway. It was just past 7 and the appointment wasn’t until 10, but she still had to get dressed and do her hair and makeup and pick up the flowers and eat and — her internal monologue was interrupted by the doorbell. Still half-asleep, she ambled over to the door, pulling it open without even really checking to see who it was. 

“Surprise!!” Patrice shouted, walking through the door, followed by Madeline and Pierre. “Madeline mentioned that you seemed a bit overwhelmed yesterday, so we thought we’d come over and get ready over here!” 

Laurel shuffled out of the way as Piper jumped on Pierre, who laughed and calmed her down with a few scratches on her chin. She had really taken a liking to him and his two dogs, which had initially been a point of nervousness for Laurel. But they got along great, shared space well, and she seemed to love her new brother and sister. “That’s really nice of you guys, I appreciate it,” she said sincerely. “Um, I don’t have much food left because of the move, but I think there’s some cereal in the cupboard?” 

“Silly you,” Pierre said, holding out a paper bag. “Did you think I’d leave my bride hungry on our wedding day? I got you sourdough french toast, should be on the top.” They had gone out to brunch once and she had ordered it, audibly moaning at how incredible it tasted. He remembered. 

“And raspberry mochas!” Madeline said, presenting her with a cup. 

Laurel took it, wrapping her spare arm around Madeline and kissing Pierre on the cheek. “This is incredible, guys. Really. I didn’t expect anything like this.”

“Exactly!” Madeline said, a perky expression on her face. “It’s a surprise!” She drifted into the kitchen, pulling out plates from Laurel’s cabinet and forks from her drawers. “Breakfast is served!”

Laurel let out a laugh as she grabbed the box with her french toast, taking a sip of her mocha. “I think the credit goes to the chefs at the restaurant, but whatever you say, Madi.”

Madeline rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but we ordered it. 

By the time they had all inhaled their breakfasts and cleaned the kitchen — Laurel and Pierre tag-teamed the dishes — it was almost eight, and Madeline whisked her into her room to get ready. “There should be a couple beers in the fridge, help yourselves!” Laurel shouted out the door as Madeline tried to wrestle her into the ensuite. For the most part, Madeline was good at listening to Laurel’s pleas against a dramatic makeup look. Muted rose lipstick, filled in her eyebrows, delicately pulled back her hair into a twisted bun. “Where’s your setting spray?” Madeline asked, rooting through her makeup bag. 

“Top drawer on the left. Are you finally going to let me see?”

Madeline pulled the drawer out, uncapping the bottle and spritzing it over Laurel’s face. “Go for it.”

Laurel turned around, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. “Oh my God,” she said, turning her head so the glimmer of her highlighter caught in the early-morning sun streaming through the open window. “You’ve outdone yourself.”

“Don’t say that until you’ve put the dress on,” Madeline said, pulling it off of its hanger and draping it across the chair. Sweats came off and the dress went on, Madeline carefully pulling up the back zipper and straightening out her hem. Laurel bent down to put on her shoes, threading the silver straps through the tiny metal clasp before giving her leg a good shake. Madeline looked at her sceptically. 

“What?” Laurel asked innocently. “I don’t want it to fall off halfway down the aisle.” 

There was a knock on the bedroom door, Patrice’s voice floating in from the other side. “It’s 9:20, you two about ready to head out?”

“Coming!” Madeline called back, pulling Laurel up from the bed. “You ready, Laur?” Laurel gave a nervous nod. “Let’s go get you married.”

She stepped out into the living room, reaching up to her neck and fingering the silver filigree of her grandma’s wedding necklace, one of the only things she had left to remember her by. If she wasn’t able to complete the whole rhyme, at least she’d have her something old. “Who’s driving?” she asked. 

Pierre wheeled around, mouth gaping like a fish when he saw her. Laurel immediately looked down to her dress, wondering if she had spilled one of her pre-wedding mimosas. “What is it?” she asked frantically. “Is there something in my teeth?”

He shook his head, tugging at the sleeves of his navy blue suit. “No, there’s nothing in your teeth, it’s perfect. You look beautiful.” They were in the car five minutes later, picked up the bouquet from the florist five minutes after that, and were outside of the courthouse by 9:50. Laurel took a deep breath, looking up at the glass doors of the Palais de Justice. Pierre threaded his fingers between hers, giving a reassuring squeeze. “You good?”

Laurel nodded, nervous but determined, sure that she was making the right decision. “Ready.” She barely remembered signing in, barely remembered going back to the clerk’s office, barely remembered her reading the mandated articles of the civil code. She gripped Pierre’s hands, giving him as much of a reassuring smile as she could, as the vows were read. 

“Pierre-Luc Dubois, do you take Laurel Elizabeth Klerken, here present, to be your wife?” Juliette asked. 

“I do.”

“Laurel Elizabeth Klerken, do you take Pierre-Luc Dubois, here present, to be your husband?”

“I do,” Laurel said, voice steady. 

Juliette continued. “By virtue of the powers vested in me by law, I now declare you, Pierre-Luc Dubois, and you, Laurel Elizabeth Klerken, united in the bonds of marriage.” Patrice passed over the rings; Laurel slid Pierre’s onto his ring finger, he gently twisted hers to rest on top of her engagement ring. “You are now legally married. Allow me, on my own behalf and on behalf of all those present, to offer you our best wishes for your happiness. You may now kiss the bride.”

Laurel panicked for a moment, before looking up and meeting Pierre’s eyes. In the span of a second, she communicated her unspoken agreement with the tiniest nod of her head, and his lips were on hers. His arms were against the small of her back, hers wrapped around his neck, and even enough it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, it felt like hours. It felt like coming home.

[santiagonex]

As 2020 is nearing, it’s time to see what 2019 has brought us when it comes to gay representation in tv shows and movies. Below ‘read more’, there’s a whole list of tv shows/ships/movies (with pictures and basic description) which include/are about gay (used as an umbrella term) men and couples (so basically have gay storylines and at least one gay person is a main character of the show/movie).

Since I’m a gay man, I keep up mostly with mlm, if I included wlw as well, I don’t think the list would be complete with my lack of knowledge, so sorry about that. I’m pretty sure there are more competent people who can do that instead of me.

Total Count of TV Shows in the list: 65 Total Count of Movies in the list: 27

 Anyways, here we go.

TV SHOWS

TV SHOWS WITH TITULAR/CENTRAL GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

The Other Two: the funniest most-relatable show centered around three siblings – one of them is gay (left). A must-watch for sure. He’s pretty much the hugest part of the show, there are some love storyline (...and they were roomates), some self-loving moments and iconic lines. Just watch it, you won’t regret it.

Sex Education: show about two best friends, one of them (right) is gay. His name is Eric and he gets involved with his enemy Adam (left). Amazing show.

Special: show about a gay man Ryan (right) with mild cerebral palsy, who wants to live his life as an independent person to the fullest. Easy and short show to watch.

Druck (German SKAM Remake): if you don’t know SKAM, it’s pretty much a show where each season is devoted to one character. Third season of German SKAM aired this year and it was revolved around a gay guy (left). For the first time in SKAM history, the main character’s love interest is a trans guy (right).

Skam France (French SKAM Remake): the French version of SKAM had a gay season this year as well. 

WTFock (Belgian SKAM Remake): Belgium has a season focused on the main gay character this year as well.

El corazón nunca se equivoca: I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of Aristemo from ‘Mi marido tiene más familia’. Well, they’d already aired the first season of the new spin-off centered around their lives in college (I think).

Merlí: Sapere Aude: Bruno (left) and Pol (right) fans, it’s time to make some noise. Brunol is coming back because Pol is getting a spin-off which will be taking place in university. Bruno will be in it as well. First episode airs on 5th of December this year.

Pose: second season of Ryan Murphy’s popular show with main transgender and gay characters has aired this year.

The Politician: another show from Ryan Murphy was created. The main protagonist of the show (right) is played by Ben Platt and he’s gay. The show contains many LGBT+ main characters.

Tales of the City: the revival of the Tales of the City sequence of miniseries aired this year. The show includes many LGBT+ storylines.

The L Word: Generation Q: the revival of The L Word show will air on 8th of December this year. The show is mainly about lesbians, but based on trailer, there will be a gay couple included as well.

Years and Years: very futuristic show with a political message. Includes both mlm and wlw as main characters.

The Red Line: the plot of this show involves a white cop in Chicago who mistakenly shoots and kills a black doctor named Harrison. Harrison had a husband (left) and daughter (right). The show deals with the consequences of the event.

Now Apocalypse: all I’m gonna say is that Beck from Victorious got to make out with Scott from Teen Wolf, Matty from Awkward and Jake from Glee. The show was renewed for second season and later this statement was taken back and it got cancelled – which I guess says enough about the show.

This Close: the show is about two best friends who are deaf. One of them (left) is gay and has a storyline and spicy scenes with the guy on the right and some other guys as well. 

Schitt’s Creek: David (right) and Patrick (left) aka the cutest softest couple of all time. The last season of the show will air next air. Watch the show if you wanna laugh and watch the healthiest gay couple on tv. They also got engaged this year, which was beautiful.

NEW TV SHOWS (1 SEASON) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

Daybreak: both main characters and basically on different sides of the battles. Who wouldn’t want to watch enemies being in love Romeo & Juliet style.

El Juego de las Llaves (The Game of Keys): very interesting and fun show to follow, the one on the right is the main character. He’s closeted, has a girlfriend and gradually realizes there’s something else out there. Nice kissing scenes, plus one very spicy scene. Doesn’t hurt that the guy on the left he will be involved with looks like a dollar store Chris Evans if you squint hard enough.

Five Bedrooms: 5 strangers moves in. The guy in the middle is gay. His mom is a very traditional Indian woman who just wants grandchildren. The whole show is heart-warming and sad at times. The guy gets fair share of screentime and some love interests including a cop from the neighbourhood.

Made In Heaven: Indian show that follows the lives of Tara and Karan (left), two wedding planners in Delhi running an agency named Made in Heaven. Karan is gay. Very progressive show with spicy gay scenes.

What/If: haven’t seen the show yet but friends said these two have a nice storyline in the show. Threesome included.

Bonding: show about two best friends Pete (left) and Tiff (right). Pete is gay. They basically... do freaky shit for work... umm. Just watch trailer or something.

Osmosis: I have no idea what the show is about but the guy on the left is set to betrying to find a soulmate or something. I think I remember seeing some spicy scenes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists: basically some gay romance with the guy on the right and someone else. The one on the left dies the first episode so I did not even bother after that. But you can be the judge of it.

Doom Patrol: Larry (left) is a superhero, kinda. There’s something haunting his past, though. Something that involves being gay.

The Umbrella Academy: Klaus (left) my favorite character. He’s kind of a hero along with his other siblings. There’s a deep gay storyling along the way.

Weird City: anyways... all I’m gonna say is that Dylan O’Brien played a gay for one episode in a show. Wish there wasn’t this huge ugly age difference.

Roswell, New Mexico: cowboys, aliens, bisexuality, homosexuality and all that. Didn’t really see the show but there’s a lot of content with these two.

Good Trouble: never saw the sow but the guy on the picture is a main bisexual characters. There are some mlm scenes.

The Society: Grizz (right) and Sam (left) literally the highlight of the show. Just watch it, it is worth to see it for both of them. Sam is also deaf. The show is basically about a bunch of teenagers getting stuck in a town with no one else in or around.

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The High School Musical tv show has just started airing on Disney+. Carlos (left) is confirmed to be gay and to be getting a nice development this season which will probably involve Seb (right) as well.

The Heights: Australian tv show. Sully (left) is gay. Got a thing for Ash (right) at the start. Then things were messy. Then they suddenly kissed. And the things are messy again.

El Club (The Club): very interesting show. The gave these two really (like REALLY) spicy scenes. Some romantic stuff. But there’s really not much depth in my option. Check and see.

Volevo fare la rockstar: didn’t see it but it’s an Italian show and there’s a romantic storyline between these two.

No Good Nick: Jeremy (right) came out this year on this sitcom. Nice and very weid sitcom. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but the way they handled his gay storyline was rather nice.

World on Fire: follows lives of ordinary people from Britain, Poland, France, Germany and the USA during World War II. Two of them are gay. And yeah one of those two is Will from sense8.

TV SHOWS (1 SEASON+) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS 

Andi Mack: the show that made history. Andi Mack is a Disney Channel show and for the first time in Disney Channel history, Cyrus (right) came out using the word ‘gay’ and made it official with the recurring character TJ (left) this year. The two-season slow-burn was really worth it.

Shadowhunters: Malec got married this year. Yay.

Grey’s Anatomy: Levi and Nico still going strong.

La Casa de las Flores (The House of Flowers): despite the first season making it seem like it was the end for Diego and Julián, that’s not the case. In season 2, they’re stronger than ever, the scenes are spicier than ever and the show is gayer than ever.

Baby: first season was mostly focused on Fabio (face on right) realizing he’s gay. The second season has shockingly showed us that Brando (face on left) is gay as well. Very toxic ship so if you enjoy Gallavich this is probably for you.

Élite: Omar and Ander continuing their journey.

Shameless: Ian (up) and Mickey (down) came back to Shameless season 10 as main characters. About time.

Station 19: new love interest (left, a deaf character portrayed by a deaf actor) was introduced for Travis (right) in the season 2 finale. Let’s see what happens in season 3, which airs in 2020.

Ackley Bridge: they pretty much baited us with Cory (left) and Naveed (right) this season. They stayed just friends, but Naveed found a love interest, so that’s nice.

Find Me In Paris: Never saw the show, but Jeff (on the picture) is gay and his love interest Isaac gets introduced in second season that aired this year.

13 Reasons Why: Tony and Caleb going strong. It was also revealed that Monty (right) is a closeted gay and had a storyline with Winston (left). There’s probably more to come with them in next season. 

Insatiable: unfortunately they didn’t serve much Bob (right) & Bob this year. But they introduced detective Rudy (left) and there were some scenes and twists and turns. Whatever.

Riverdale: I don’t care. Kevin (left) is still there. There are some gay charcters based on wiki, but yeah. Crumbs, I bet. Whatever.

Charité: second season (which has the two main gay characters) takes place in Berlin in 1943. You don’t need to watch the first season at all, to understand the second one with them, it’s basically a stand-alone.

Animal Kingdom: Deran and Adrian’s story coming to an end?

The Magicians: Well, they killed off the central bi character Quentin (on the picture), so fuck them. 

How to Get Away With Murder: Connor (left) and Oliver (right) still there.

Dear White People: haven’t seen it, but Lionel (on the picture) is still there and he’s gay.

Zoe Valentine: there’s this web series and these two have a storyline in second season that aired this year.

SOAP OPERAS AND TELENOVELAS

Sturm der Liebe: Boris (left) and Tobias (right) are married and lived happily ever after. Really cute and sometimes dramatic storyline overall. Check it out.

Malhação: Vidas Brasileiras: Santiago (left) and Michael (right) had a gay storyline but the show ended this year.

Malhação: Toda Forma de Amar: Guga (right) and Serginho (left) have a gay storyline in the show.

Eastenders: Ben (left) and Callum’s (right) storyline has begun this year.

Neighbours: David (right) and Aaron (left) aka husbands still in the soap.

REALITY SHOWS

Queer Eye: five gay guys helping others. Season 3, 4 and a special have aired this year.

Are You the One?: for the first time in the show’s history, season 8 of this dating reality show had an all-sexually fluid cast this year. Which means mlm and wlw and anything else. Really fun show.

MOVIES

Benjamin: don’t even remember what the movie was about but I rec because it was cute and I mean hello Merlin.

Boy Erased: homosexuality and religion. Has a Troye Sivan in it. Very decent movie.

And Then We Danced: my favorite gay movie of this year. All the things they had to do to be able to film this in homophobic Georgia (the country)... just wow. It’s a must-watch.

Who Would You Take to a Deserted Island?: didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It is based on a play and it shows. Watch and be the judge of it. The acting was really highlight of the movie.

This Is Not Berlin: hasn’t seen it yet since it was just officially released. But it is included in an LGBT+ section so... hopefully they didn’ lie.

Rocketman: movie about Elton John with Taron Egerton and Richard Madden... I mean, phew.

Un Rubio (The Blonde One): gonna watch this, apparently it’s amazing based on what some of my mutuals have said.

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: Jon Snow being gay and kissing Chris Zylka. Made by Xavier Dolan. A literal tripple threat. Genuinely enjoyed the movie and the soundtrack.

Ranchlands: haven’t seen this but my friend said it’s amazing.

Steam Room Stories: this movie was something... Eating Out levels of ‘I-’ but without all the sex. I guess watch this if you are bored.

Posledice (Consequences): very spicy and intriguing movie. Slovenia snapped with this one.

Papi Chulo: didn’t like this movie and the concept of it but... you can check out and see for yourself.

Dolor y gloria (Pain and Glory): Antonio Banderas kissing a man. Hopefully it really is a gay-related movie because I haven’t seen it yet.

Die Stropers (The Harvesters): brilliant cinematography but I expected much more from the movie.

Giant Little Ones: what happens when you’re into your best friend’s sister but the best friend gives you a BJ. Well... watch and see.

Kanarie (Canary): a war musical about a small town boy who gets chosen to serve his compulsory two year military training in the South African Defence Force Choir and Concert. Loved the involvement of the Boy George music, aesthetic and story. One of my favorites this year. 

Luciérnagas (Fireflies): haven’t seen it yet but the description says that the main gay character (right) “flees from persecution in Iran and ends up living in the tropical town of Veracruz.”

El Angel: haven’t seen it but apparently there are some implications it was lowkey gay... so yeah.

Dear Ex: from wiki “San Lian was devastated when she discovered her late ex-husband left his insurance payout to his male partner Ah Jie. She decided to bring her son to fight for their rights, but her son instead chose to stand on the other person's side.” Will watch this soon, sounds interesting.

Sauvage: one of the best gay movies this year. Don’t know how to describe it so let me copy paste the description “ Léo is a sex worker who uses drugs whilst longing for love.”

Sócrates: haven’t seen it yet as it was just released.

Marilyn: story about a farm worker who discovers his sexuality in a hostile environment. Didn’t see it since someone has told me there are some scenes that are really HARD to stomach and I ain’t about that life.

Les Crevettes pailletées (The Shiny Shrimps): the movie is about an Olympic swimming champion who makes a homophobic comment in a television interview, and is disciplined by the national swim team with the responsibility of coaching a gay water polo team who aspire to compete in the Gay Games. Sounds and looks like an amazing comedy and can’t wait to watch it when I will be able to.

Fin de siglo (End of the Century): it’s not out yet as far as I know, but it’s about two men who meet in Barcelona and realize they have met already 20 years ago.

Matthias et Maxime: another excellence by Xavier Dolan. Story about life-long friends who question their sexual identities after they kiss. Looks amazing and I can’t wait for it to get released finally.

The Goldfinch: not a gay movie, but I’ve seen many people considering it as LGBT+ cinema because of the book and you know what, they kissed after all so you can perceive it beyond friendship if you want. If not, then just skip it. I feel like it is worth mentioning it tho.

Mapplethorpe: movie is about the life of photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Didn’t see it but Doctor Who plays him so there’s that.

UPCOMING

TV SHOWS

9-1-1: Lone Star: The spin-off of a popular show 9-1-1 by Ryan Murphy is premiering 19th of January 2020. It’s confirmed that the main character TK (a firefighter, left) will be romantically involved with the main character Carlos (a police officer, right). The show will also have a main trans man.

Love, Simon: The Series: A Disney+ Love, Simon spin-off is on its way and will premiere in 2020. The series will follow Victor (right) and his coming-out story at the same high school where Love, Simon took place. Didn’t find a photo with his love interest. The guy on the left will most likely be his enemy.

[borisbubbles]

17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached  an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism. 

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

 They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

 So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got. 

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a  “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo!  Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc. 

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.  

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3  God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances  (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!! 

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

Iconic things about The Dick Van Dyke Show

-For the time The Dick Van Dyke Show was incredibly diverse. You got to remember this was the early 1960s, back in the day you were lucky to see African Americans in any capacity and when they were in shows or movies they were strictly in the service industry. That started to change in the late 50s to early 60s and TDVDS was kinda the start of that in Television. People of color were depicted in different capacities than usual. In the episode “That’s My Boy??” the actors Greg Morris and Mimi Dillard played a normal upper middle class family. In this episode Rob thinks that Laura and himself were sent home with the wrong baby from the hospital and he believes that their baby was taken by a family with the last name Peters. The Peters ended up being African American and they were depicted as well dressed and well spoken people who seemed to live in a similar area and walk of life as the Petries and in that episode the black couple is funny and completely sane whereas the white man (Rob) is depicted as the butt of the joke. Also at the end of the episode Rob subtly mentions how their son Richie is getting horrible grades and the Peters’ son is at the top of the class. It’s small things like that, that had never been seen on Television. In a episode named “The Man from My Uncle“ an actor by the name of Godfrey Campbell played an FBI agent. And that’s not counting the numerous POC in smaller roles or as extras in scenes. This was a time where you were lucky to see POC even as extras. -The feminism in TDVDS took amazing strides as well. There were times where Rob is shown to be very insecure, and I think that’s some of the most of it’s time aspects of the show. It’s not great, but it’s realistic. One of my favorite character choices for Laura Petrie is that we find out that she is proficient in self defense.... she learned self defense techniques when she was an entertainer for the troops. In the episode “My Mother Can Beat Up My Father,” a drunk at a bar harasses Laura and Rob tries to defend her and he gets laid out by the drunk. Laura then does a judo throw on the guy and lays him out. It becomes a big thing for Rob in that episode and he’s very insecure about the fact that Laura can take a guy that Rob can’t. But Laura does not apologize for that fact, and in one scene Rob is trying to prove that he’s all tough and so he challenges Laura to do the same throw with him. Laura doesn’t pretend she can’t do it to spare his fragile masculinity, she lays him out and if I remember correctly he broke a few bones. Also the character of Sally Rogers has been touted as one of the first women’s lib characters. She’s a Television writer alongside Rob and Buddy and she is treated with respect and is presumably paid the same as Buddy who is a writer on her same level. She is a proud career woman who is damn good at her job, and is an equal to the men in her workplace. Another big way that TDVDS broke ground was the fact that Laura wears capri pants. Believe it or not that caused a firestorm of controversy.... up to that point housewives had been shown as wearing dresses and skirts on TV and once the dust settled the fact that Mary Tyler Moore wore capri pants on TDVDS caused those pants to become a huge fashion craze in the 60s. -TDVDS became a huge hit starting with the second season against all odds. First off Carl Reiner had created the show a couple years prior and had actually shot a pilot with an entirely different cast and with himself in the lead, at that time it was called “Head Of The Family.” It aired and did not get picked up. Carl just gave up on it and it lay on a shelf collecting dust. A couple years later someone with the William Morris Agency tried to get Carl to retry it and he refused. That agent then went to the most successful producer at that time, Sheldon Leonard. Sheldon was known for having a perfect record for his pilots, absolutely all of them had been picked up to series, some of which were huge hit shows. Sheldon saw the show and immediately saw the potential. He approached Carl about the idea of retrying with an entirely different cast and name.... once a famous producer says they have faith in your show, how can you say no. So they set to the task of finding a cast. Dick Van Dyke was one of the first people to be cast in the show, and at that point Dick was in the middle of a successful run on Broadway in the show “Bye Bye Birdie” which he’d won a Tony Award for, but being successful on Broadway doesn’t usually translate to fame with the general public (up until Lin Manuel Miranda that was true). So not only did they cast an unknown in the lead role but they then turned around and named the show on the said unknown actor. That was an extremely ballsy and risky move. At the time there were a lot of shows named after actors but they were all famous stars like Doris Day etc. To name a show after an unknown actor was unheard of!! They then cast Mary Tyler Moore (who was an unknown), they cast Rose Marie (who was never hugely famous, but had a really good career on radio and in night clubs. But even if you consider her to have been famous, she was kind of a has been), Morey Amsterdam was cast (an unknown), Jerry Paris and Ann Morgan Guilbert were cast (also unknowns). It was really a cast full of unknowns in the leads. There were no big names. Which was really a disadvantage going in. The first season bombed, it was near the end of the Nielsen ratings and morale was severely low at the end of the season. Sheldon Leonard actually got word from a friend who was on the committee that decided which shows were cancelled and which her renewed, that the show had indeed been cancelled and it just hadn’t been announced yet. So Sheldon went into problem solving mode. He knew that going to the network wouldn’t get him anywhere. At that time sponsors were king and TDVDS had one of the biggest sponsors in the game, Proctor And Gamble. So Sheldon flew to Proctor And Gamble’s headquarters and in his own words he “sang mammy” in other words he begged and he charmed their pants off (figuratively) :) At the end of his pitch, they agreed to go to bat for the show... on one condition.... that he found a sponsor to sponsor the second half of the season. So he raced from sponsor to sponsor pitching his show and begging them to co sponsor them. He was in the middle of a pitch when he was alerted that Kent Cigarettes had decided to sponsor their second half. Proctor And Gamble and Kent Cigarettes went up against CBS and demanded that they renew TDVDS or else they would withdraw support from all their other popular shows. And CBS caved and renewed the show. With S2, TDVDS became a massive success and by the end of S5 the network was begging Carl Reiner to make another season but Carl wanted to end the show while they were still on top. TDVDS also became the darling of the awards shows. They continually swept the Emmys every year starting with S2. They won for writing, directing, and acting, it also won Best Comedy in 1966 with it’s final season.

-The scripts were largely based off of real life. Nowadays it’s more common for shows to take ideas from real life, but at the time Carl Reiner’s wish for authenticity was largely unheard of. Writers on the show described the writing sessions as therapy sessions because it would start with Carl probing into their life and them talking about embarrassing things that happened to them. Carl and the writers would take those ideas and make them bigger and crazier but there was always that nugget of truth in there.

-The marriage between Rob and Laura was also iconic. You gotta figure that I Love Lucy was a huge show of the past decade and it really shaped most future shows. In some ways TDVDS was the antithesis of that. Carl wanted to create a show where the main married couple was united... it was them against the world. He shied away from battle of the sexes storylines whenever possible. He wanted Rob and Laura to be clearly in love. And it’s a unique relationship where you can tell that those two have an active sex life... and that was really unique for the time.

-Carl Reiner made a decision at the beginning of the show that he would never use popular slang terms of the 60s. In fact if you watch beginning to end, only one slang term slipped in, in S5. Otherwise, he remarkably kept to that. Because of that crucial decision, TDVDS is not as dated as it could be and it has a very timeless feel to it.

-The cast was known to get along famously, there were only a few moments of tension, otherwise the set was known to be very light and there was little tension. They were all pranksters and the set was alive with hilarity, laughter, and pranks. They used to haze guest stars... most of the guest stars were fine with being hazed but there was one who did not take it so well. During the filming of one episode Robert Vaughn was the guest star and he was on the outskirts of the set waiting for his cue to come in. The actors led the entire cast and crew off the set and turned off the lights and left Robert waiting for his cue for about an hour, until he walked in to see what the holdup was only to find the entire cast and crew gone. It’s hilarious, but he wasn’t too happy. The cast was like a huge family, but most guest stars described them as being very welcoming as well.

Edit. Another iconic thing I almost forgot is the fact that certain episodes are used in film classes as examples of how to write comedy. It’s so funny and iconic that it is the textbook case of how to write comedy shows!!!! When will your favorite show ever... ;)

[tearsofthemis]

Tears of Themis : Chapter 2 “Unbearable Love“ Part 11

[Previous Part] | [Masterlist] | [Next Part]

▌Location- Hotel Room 1817

MC: “Alright, then Miss. Jiang, let’s start the interrogation.” ~~Interrogation Start~~

[About work overview]

MC: “Miss. Jiang, how long have you worked for Venus Fashion? When did you start as CEO Shen’s secretary?”

Jiang MingYue: “I have worked at Venus for five years, from the moment I was hired. I became CEO Shen’s design assistant and secretary.”

MC: “CEO Shen must have trusted you to give you such an important role in her company.”

Jiang MingYue: “CEO Shen truly trusts me, but in the beginning, I wasn’t her only secretary. I had two other coworkers.”

MC: “How busy was the company for Shen Xi to require three secretaries?”

Jiang MingYue: “Not to that extent. I was originally responsible for organizing CEO Shen’s business schedule. My two coworkers would handle hidden matters in CEO Shen’s private life. On paper, their roles were secretarial, but in reality, they were more like her life assistants. They left one after the other and CEO Shen didn’t hire anyone to fill the role ever again.”

Mo Yi: “Why did the other secretaries leave? Was it of their own volition?”

Jiang MingYue: “This…”

(Jiang MingYue looked startled as if she had never anticipated that Mo Yi would ask her that question. She took a nervous glance at Mo Yi and then lowered her head again.)

Jiang MingYue: “One of them didn’t renew their contract with CEO Shen and left, and the other was fired due to violations of CEO Shen’s privacy.”

[Banquet Events]

MC: “Did the banquet last night go without a hitch?”

Jiang MingYue: “You could assume so. But we would’ve never imagined that CEO Lu would actually attend.”

MC: “Didn’t think Lu JingHe would attend? Were the invitations not vetoed by you guys?”

Jiang MingYue: “We did invite CEO Lu, but Lawyer, you must have heard about the failed negotiations between PAX Group and our company… And in this fashion week, we outshone PAX Apparel and took the gold prize, so… The invitation for CEO Lu to attend was more of a demonstration than anything else. That’s why we thought CEO Lu wouldn’t attend.”

MC: “Did Lu JingHe’s appearance at the banquet have an impact on the banquet’s itinerary?”

Jiang MingYue: “No, CEO Shen just added a small thank you to CEO Lu at the end of her speech. When someone came to propose a toast and mentioned CEO Lu, CEO Shen made a show of opening the box of chocolates and eating one.”

MC: “CEO Shen ate the chocolates Lu JingHe gave her in front of others, was she not afraid that other people may misinterpret their relationship? That’s to say, was CEO Shen hoping for people to see, and if so, does that imply the fake news about CEO Shen and Lu JingHe’s engagement was leaked by your company?”

Jiang MingYue: “No no, absolutely not. CEO Shen would never do that! Although CEO Shen used the PAX Group negotiations as exposure for our company, she would never use her personal relationships to achieve it. She ate the chocolate to prove that the two companies were on good terms - that Venus and PAX didn’t have any bad blood beyond a failed negotiation.”

Mo Yi: “Chocolates are a common banquet gift and do not necessarily imply romantic interest between two parties.”

(After hearing Mo Yi’s comment, Jiang MingYue let out a sigh and her shoulders relaxed. I can’t understand why Mo Yi would help Jiang MingYue find a way out of the topic. However, after seeing how stressed Jiang MingYue was, I think I can imagine why he did it.)

MC: “...”

MC: (We won’t be able to get anything out of her if she’s too anxious. I gotta hand it to Dr. Mo for handling the pace of the interrogation.)

MC: “Then it seems like the entertainment news outlets were once again making something out of nothing in order to pull in readers.”

Jiang MingYue: “That’s right.”

[About the Rash on Her Wrist]

MC: “Miss. Jiang, what happened to your wrist? Do you require medical attention?”

Jiang MingYue: “It’s not urgent, I just had a minor allergic reaction. It’ll be alright after applying some ointment.”

MC: “That’s good to hear. I have a coworker with a mushroom allergy. It must be so uncomfortable when it hurts and itches at the same time.”

Jiang MingYue: “I’m allergic to chocolate. Last night, a server carrying a tray of chocolates bumped into me. I’m diligent about not being in contact with it and normally wouldn’t be like this.”

MC: “Chocolate allergy exists? It’s the first time I’ve heard of it.”

Jiang MingYue: “It’s rare. When I eat or touch chocolate, I’ll break out in a rash. The first time this happened, I was quite young and ate so much chocolate that I went into anaphylaxis. I now avoid touching chocolate whenever possible.”

[About Work Stress]

MC: “Miss. Jiang, after the other two secretaries were fired by CEO Shen, it must have been really hard to handle three people’s worth of work right?”

(I looked at Jiang MingYue’s ill-fitting clothes and followed up with another question.)

MC: “Are you often really busy?”

Jiang MingYue: “It’s been alright. CEO Shen hasn’t had others handle her private business, so my day to day tasks have pretty much stayed the same in terms of handling her external affairs. CEO Shen is generous with our salary, and I’ve never had to work during vacation days. Even if it gets a little busier, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

[About Her Relationship with Shen Xi]

MC: “When CEO Shen gave you the box of chocolate from Lu JingHe for safekeeping, did she know that you were allergic?”

Jiang MingYue: “She knew. Since I’m not sensitive to the smell of chocolate and they were in the box, I was safe. Most times, CEO Shen is quite a considerate person…”

Mo Yi: “Most times? That’s to say, CEO Shen has lost her temper with you?”

Jiang MingYue: “We had been working together for five years, moments like that are sure to happen. Which employee hasn’t seen their boss lose their temper?”

Mo Yi: “Is it solely because of work-related issues? For CEO Shen to know that you’re allergic to chocolate, you two must have had a lot of interactions in your everyday life.”

Jiang MingYue: “N-no. CEO Shen and I only have a boss and secretary relationship. We really don’t have anything more than that. I understand that you suspect me because I was holding onto the box of chocolates, but I didn’t do it.”

Mo Yi: “Oh? If it’s nothing more than a work relationship, then your actions do not correspond with your claim.”

[About Last Night’s Rooming Arrangements]

Mo Yi: “Usually during business trips, the secretary will choose to stay in a room near their boss’, to facilitate communication. Why did CEO Shen stay on the 18th floor, while your room was located on the 17th floor, Room 1713?”

Jiang MingYue: “The hotel had no other vacancy because it’s fashion week, so I booked a standard room on the 17th floor.”

Mo Yi: “Is that so? But the suite 1718 connected to 1717 on the 17th floor, was vacant last night. When you booked accommodations for Shen Xi, why didn’t you pick rooms on the 17th floor? Unless the rooms on the 18th floor are special? Both floors have the same pricing and considering Shen Xi’s net worth, I suggest you avoid using the excuse of how ‘the 18th floor was discounted.’”

Jiang MingYue: “When I was booking rooms, there really were no other open rooms… Maybe someone canceled their reservations afterward…”

Mo Yi: “That’s valid, you have a point.”

[About Her Timeline]

MC: “Do you remember the exact time CEO Shen ate the chocolate at the banquet?”

Jiang MingYue: “It should be a quarter after seven, I think.”

MC: “And you’re sure?”

Jiang MingYue: “Yes. The fashion week’s organizer’s speech was scheduled to start at 7:20 PM, so I was watching the time.”

~~~Flashback~~~

▌Saturday Night, 7:15 PM

Jiang MingYue: “CEO Shen, the organizer’s speech is about to start, you…”

Shen Xi: “Got it, go find Chairman Zhang and remind him.”

(Shen Xi spoke while unwrapping the box of liquor chocolates in Jiang MingYue‘s hand.)

Shen Xi: “Although CEO Lu’s got a ways to go when it comes to doing business, he sure has a good eye for chocolate.”

Lu JingHe: “As long as CEO Shen likes them. Please enjoy those at your leisure, I’ll take my leave for the night.”

(Shen Xi’s fingertips were capped with melted chocolate. Just as she was looking for a napkin, Lu JingHe made his way over to her. Shen Xi, holding one hand in midair, felt awkward as to whether she should bring her dirtied fingers back down to her side. Just then, a server passed by Lu JingHe, who plucked a tissue off of the tray and handed it to Shen Xi.)

Shen Xi: “Thank you, CEO Lu. You’re a busy man, so I won’t keep you any longer.”

(Shen Xi accepted the napkin and wiped her hand without causing extra attention and raised her brow at Jiang MingYue.)

Shen Xi: “MingYue, send off CEO Lu in my place. I’ll go and inform Chairman Zhang myself.”

(Shen Xi nodded and turned to leave.)

Jiang MingYue: “CEO Lu, CEO Shen is quite busy tonight. Please don’t mind her attitude and allow me to see you off…”

~~~Flashback Ends~~~

MC: “Then when did the banquet end? Excluding the time when CEO Shen was eating the chocolates, did you have the box in your hands at the time?”

Jiang MingYue: “The banquet ended at 8:30 PM as scheduled, but I didn’t hold the box of chocolates for the entire time. After I saw CEO Lu off for the night, CEO Shen mentioned that the chocolates were a little melted when she ate it and told me to bring the chocolates back to her room’s mini cooler.”

Mo Yi: “What time did you stop by?”

Jiang MingYue: “It was around 7:30 PM, although when I was coming back from her room, I ran into an accident.”

~~~Flashback~~~

▌Saturday Night, 7:40 PM

Server: “Ah! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Miss, are you alright!”

(Jiang MingYue finished placing the chocolates in the fridge. On her way back to the banquet a server carrying a tray collided into her.)

Jiang MingYue: “What are you carrying? No way it’s....”

Server: “It’s chocolate sauce.”

Jiang MingYue: “Shoot!”

(Jiang MingYue hurriedly grabbed napkins from a table and scrubbed at the chocolate sauce spilled on her wrist.)

Server: “Miss, are you okay? Do I need to escort you back to your suite?”

Jiang MingYue: “I’ll head up myself. If the hotel has any rash medication or creams, please send it up to room 1713.”

~~~Flashback Ends~~~

Mo Yi: “After you cleaned up and finally returned to the banquet, what time was it?”

Jiang MingYue: “It was almost 8:00 PM when I returned. After the server brought me the medicated cream, he took my soiled dress for dry cleaning. If you don’t believe me, you can check their records.”

MC: “After the banquet ended, what did you do? When was the last time you saw Shen Xi?”

Jiang MingYue: “I was with CEO Shen when she saw all the guests off. I returned her room key to her, and left to rest in my room. We parted ways when the elevator reached the 17th floor, around 9:00 PM. That was when I saw CEO Shen last.”

Mo Yi: “Shen Xi’s room key was in your possession?”

Jiang MingYue: “That’s right. CEO Shen doesn’t like to carry purses or clutches at banquets so her room key and her phone were in my bag. After I changed my clothes and returned to the banquet hall, I never left CEO Shen’s side.”

[About anyone with access to the chocolates]

MC: “Miss. Jiang, lastly I need to reaffirm that, besides CEO Shen and yourself, was there anyone else who was able to come into contact with that box of chocolates last night?”

Jiang MingYue: “Let me think…”

(Jiang MingYue looked down in contemplation.)

Jiang MingYue: “After thinking about it, no, there’s no one else. There was only CEO Shen and me. Of course, if CEO Lu was able to unwrap the box and then repackage it, I can’t say for certain.”

~~~Interrogation End~~~

MC: “From the police, I heard that you were the one who found CEO Shen this morning?”

Jiang MingYue: “It was me. The overseas fabric manufacturer had urgent matters to talk to CEO Shen about. Around 7:40 AM this morning, I picked up their call and went upstairs to find her, but I couldn’t reach her cell phone nor did she answer me when I knocked on the door.”

Mo Yi: “So by the time you found the hotel staff to open the suite door, that was when you discovered Shen Xi’s body?”

Jiang MingYue: “It’s as you said…”

MC: “Alright, Miss. Jiang, that’s all the questions I have for you.”

(After we finished the questioning, Jiang MingYue stood up and saw that there had been officers standing behind us all this time.)

Jiang MingYue: “Can I head back now? After everything that's happened, CEO Shen’s family is still uninformed and there’s a lot of things I need to handle.”

Officer: “Sorry Miss. Jiang, you’re still a suspect in the case and we’ll need to take you back to the station with us.”

Jiang MingYue: “It’s not me, it’s really not me…”

Mo Yi: “Sorry, if it’s possible without obstructing protocol, may we have a second look at the crime scene before you detain Miss. Jiang?”

Officer: “Dr. Mo, you did not finish questioning the suspect?”

Mo Yi: “There are a couple of things I’d like to ask and verify. But I can see that Miss. Jiang is already exhausted, I would like her to rest for a bit before we continue. In the meantime…”

(Mo Yi looked at me, his eyes seemingly allowing me to finish his sentence and decide our next step.)

MC: “Officer, in the meantime, please allow us to see the crime scene again.”

Officer: “Alright, follow me.”

(The officer halted Jiang MingYue as she was trying to follow us out.)

Officer: “Miss. Jiang, I ask that you cooperate and remain in this room for the time being.”

(Jiang MingYue returned to sit at the office chair, held the cushion to her chest and sobbed quietly. As Mo Yi and I left the room, a hot breath tickled my neck. Mo Yi’s calm voice spoke into my ear.)

Mo Yi: “Just then, she was lying.”

——-

[Previous Part] | [Masterlist] | [Next Part]

——-

《CREDIT》 Translator: Humi​​ Editor: @cL QC: @hallowsivy​ 《未定事件簿》Tears of Themis is a 2020 Chinese otome game by 米哈游Mihoyo. All original credits go to 米哈游Mihoyo.

《 VOICE ACTORS 》 Mo Yi | Jiang GuangTao: https://weibo.com/jiangguangtao Lu JingHe | Yang Tianxiang: https://weibo.com/u/1745507755 Yan Wei: https://weibo.com/lengquanyeyue Jiang MingYue | V17-Vila: https://weibo.com/u/7360408881

[dirtyfilthy]

The Betrayal Of Chelsea Manning By The Coward Adrian Lamo

I have only participated in “cancel culture” once that I can remember. Once, over the broad course of my life, and that was when Adrian Lamo sold Chelsea Manning out to the authorities. Motherfucker has the  sheer gall to call himself a hacker, and then rats someone out — not because of his principles, but from a constant desire for pure narcissistic supply -- and all this from a position of trust no less… 

I was real angry, and I wanted to put the boot in, any way I could. There was a special circle of hell reserved for people like Adrian Lamo… and as it would turn out, he was already in it. 

Amongst petty vendettas like stuffing his wikipedia page with all the well referenced dirt I could dig up, along the way, and kind of by-the-by, I ended up doing a lot of research on the guy, and then, well, the picture of Lamo that emerged… 

Jesus. 

He’s been a hardcore benzo addict since his twenties. If you know what to look for you can tell in some of his interviews, slurring his words and looking very spacey.  He never really had a real job, never broke into the industry he was aways on the fringes of. It’s kinda crazy, if you search for “homeless hacker Adrian Lamo” you can still see what the mass media thought of him before he turned in Chelsea. 

He’d kind of weaselled his way into popular consciousness by being a shameless self-promoter, and then managing to get caught in that spectacular “rebellious teenage hacker” vs. “huge faceless corporation” way that tends to capture people’s imagination. 

There were whole articles about him in Wired. Multiple in fact. Here’s one of earliest from 2004 (unfortunately now behind a paywall), “New York Times vs The Homeless Hacker”. The first few lines can still give you the gist, however

A self-styled security expert and serial self-promoter, Adrian Lamo made headlines as a grayhat hacker. Then the Gray Lady came down on his head. Not long ago Adrian Lamo was exploring an abandoned gypsum processing plant in West Philadelphia with two friends, when a police cruiser drove slowly by. Lamo’s friends were high on methamphetamines…

https://www.wired.com/2004/04/hacker-5/

Even during this phase of his life, a lot of people in the scene didn’t like him. At least, there were people complaining on hacker boards about him stealing exploits and then burning them for the publicity.  In the end he got off with probation and home detention, and that was the end of blatantly hacking into shit. Any more and he would certainly end up in prison. Attitudes were changing, the authorities had stopped seeing hacking as just high-spirited teenage hijinks. and the increasingly severe penalties could land you some serious time. 

After this, he just sorted floated around. He never got job in the industry like the rest of us, and I suspect he may have been  basically unemployable for one reason or another. The next time he popped up in my news feed was in 2010 with a strange article from ex-hacker turned journalist and friend of Lamo’s,, Kevin Poulsen — “Ex-Hacker Adrian Lamo Institutionalized, Diagnosed with Asperger’s” 

The first paragraph or so reads:

Last month Adrian Lamo, a man once hunted by the FBI, did something contrary to his nature. He says he picked up a payphone outside a Northern California supermarket and called the cops.

Someone, Lamo says, had grabbed his backpack containing the prescription anti-depressants he'd been on since 2004, the year he pleaded guilty to hacking The New York Times. He wanted his medication back. But when the police arrived at the Safeway parking lot it was Lamo, not the missing backpack, that interested them. Something about his halting, monotone speech, perhaps slowed by his medication, got the officers' attention

— (https://www.wired.com/2010/05/lamo/)

The article claimed Lamo had been arrested for acting strangely and then institutionalised, basically claiming the police had arrested him because he was autistic. At the time, I didn’t really give this a second thought, “oh well, ho-hum”. As itt turned out, this was a case of the most spectacular kind of “spin” I think I’ve ever seen; the only place the article actually intersected with general consensual reality was in stating Lamo had been arrested and placed on psychiatric hold.

The real story, which is entirely far more pathetic, was that Lamo’s family had become worried about his benzo use (“prescription anti-depressants”) and had cut him off. He totally lost the plot at this point and stormed out of house. Concerned about his mental state, and with fears for his physical safety, it was actually  his own family that called the police to try and find him. 

When confronted about this fairly massive discrepancy, Lamo claimed he hadn’t exactly “lied” as such, and had simply withheld some facts due to personal privacy concerns. 

It was at this point I finally began to see the whole tattered trajectory of Lamo’s entire life — trace the greasy path of his rainbow with my fingertips, and watch as the once bright twine became  increasing gray and frayed as each thread began to curve back towards it’s inevitable impact with the earth, when, at which point, everything important would begin to totally unravel around him.

At his core, Adrian Lamo was a narcissist, and so Adrian Lamo absolutely believed in the Adrian Lamo narrative, as only a narcissist can. Near of beginning of his tale, this was easy to do. He was a wandering Daoist sage, a renegade techno-monk character in a Neal Stephenson cyberpunk novella, and anytime he wanted to see his own reflection he could simply look in any of the major newspapers.  

After his arrest and release, the rest of the world moved on. His peers all settled down to well-paid industry gigs, and you couldn’t just pop the New York Times through an open proxy any longer — well, at least: not most of time, anyway. His own sword, never the exactly the sharpest in the first place, was beginning to show some signs of a serious structural rust. 

Without the constant assurance of people telling his own story back at him, what was he exactly? What did the mirror portray to him now?  An unemployed, semi-homeless drug addict, a hacker who couldn’t hack his way out of wet paper back with pick axe, the tired punch line to any number of bad jokes...   

Of course, the many similarities to my own life were not exactly lost on me. I was basically a case of being a few near misses and unlucky hits away from sitting in his exact position. I had made the transition to an industry career successfully, but I was still a drug addict with mental heath issues.  I had gone through my own narcissistic stage when I was younger, but thankfully grew out of it, the old moons no longer pulled on my tides the way they used to. 

The essential Lamo pattern had began to emerge. Still chasing the same bright stars that had long since sunk beneath the horizon line of the ocean; Lamo would begin to feel irrelevant —  Lamo would get then his name in the media in some fashion. A momentary peace was then achieved, then came a brief period of post-orgasmic. cosmic serenity. 

But of course, the wheel of karma will not stop spinning for anyone, and so, soon enough and all-to-quickly, the entire process of personal renewal, would have to, you know…..  begin anew.

A few other case studies were observed. An unreleased, permanently unfinished documentary featuring Lamo was mysteriously leaked on the internet. Of course, Lamo himself had leaked it. And there was always appearing on various morning television shows, Good Morning America, Fox News & the like.

But then the mother of all opportunities just dropped into his lap.

Chelsea Manning needed someone to talk to. 

Chelsea knew Lamo was Bi, so he was at least in the LGBT community. Adrian was a hacker too. He’d fought against the system in his day, he was certainly someone who would “get it”, she was very sure of this.  And when she did reach out, he was indeed very sympathetic. Honestly, it seemed like he really cared. Just a genuine human being, reaching out across the vast emotional void to provide a sense of empathy to someone who really, really needed it right now.. 

He was very sympathetic when Chelsea told him all about her struggles with gender identity, and he was very sympathetic when she said she was leaking gigabytes of information to Wikileaks…. But behind his sunglasses, Lamo eyes had already morphed into a marquee LED matrix endlessly scrolling his own name. Think of the news coverage!

This was big. This was very big.

It would, in fact, turn out to be fucking huge. Of course, within in the hacker scene, and to a certain extent, even outside it, everyone just fucking loathed him now.  Eventually even the news moved on, nobody wanted any more interviews, and in the end, when everything has already been all said and done: you are ultimately left with only yourself….

… a pathetic drug addict.  Of course, I have to keep telling myself that one point of intersection does not an entire venn diagram or an actual equality make. But I can’t shake the feeling that, perhaps, maybe we weren’t really all that different.  Maybe my own betrayals have had the simple luck of being a lot less public. 

Perhaps my own sins were just as ugly, but far less ambitious. 

Adrian Lamo died alone, from a drug overdose, in a private unit in an aged care facility in Wichita, Kansas.  He was 37 years old. An autopsy showed his kidneys were already failing. 

I guess Sartre got it wrong. Hell isn’t other people, it’s being left totally alone, with nothing else around but the tedious company of your own terrible self, and of course, the fucker won’t stop talking...

So obviously there was nothing more I could do to hurt Adrian Lamo, nothing that Adrian Lamo hadn’t done already. He had long since locked himself away in a prison cell of his own making. I do wonder if maybe one too many silent 3am’s hadn’t come crawling around the clock face when he was there & awake to witness it, lying in bed & staring at the ceiling and trying not to think about things.

Like I’m doing.

Shit, I hope don’t go out that way. 

[diner-drama]

Cuddle Buddies (1/?)

"Cuddle Buddies: professional platonic cuddling therapy services for the busy modern professional" are an entirely legitimate organization serving the touch-starved. Look, it's just been a long time since Steve's been in a relationship, and a guy has needs, you know? Sometimes after a long day of being a strong, hard-nosed solicitor, weathering insults and attacks from the opposing counsel and your own coworkers, you just want to have someone stroke your hair and tell you you're good. Bucky loves his job as a professional cuddler, providing non-romantic physical touch to people that need it, and when his new client turns out to be a pint-sized spitfire with a smile to die for, that's just a bonus.

Also on ao3.

"Rumlow, if I wake up tomorrow to find out that you've thrown my client on an airplane and deported her in the middle of the night I will have your ass in front of the bar association before you can blink," barked Steve into the phone held between his ear and shoulder, trying to get his keys out of his pocket one-handed. "You really think they're going to let this slide after last time?"

He paused for a second as the person on the other end of the line made a few abortive attempts at a response, then cut him off. "I'm turning off my phone now. If you still want to talk in the morning after considering my offer you can call me then, but if you pull any of your bullshit in the meantime, I will fucking ruin you."

Steve hung up the call with a flourish and shouldered his front door open, throwing his phone into a basket on an occasional table before closing the door behind him and leaning against it, rubbing his eyes exhaustedly. Being a hard-ass human rights lawyer was all very well and good during the work day, but by the time he got home Steve was more than ready to shed his tough persona and let himself be soft.

The suit jacket was the first to go, shrugged off his slim shoulders and slipped onto a hanger. Then, his smart, shiny shoes were slipped off and replaced with warm, thick socks. He swapped his starched shirt for an old, lived-in hoodie, and his neatly pressed slacks for sweatpants. His black briefcase found a home in the spare room he used as an office, and he shut the door after it, mentally shutting away his work life. He ran his hand through his smartly-combed hair to muss it up and rolled his shoulders back, taking a few deep breaths and letting the stress of his day roll off him.

He wandered around the living room, picking up a blanket from the steamer trunk by the window, drawing the curtains, and switching on the electric fireplace which filled the space with warmth and low, flickering light. He picked up his personal phone from the coffee table and sent a quick text to Sam to let him know he made it home safely, sent a thumbs up to Darcy in response to a terrible meme she'd sent him, and briefly considered video calling Peggy before remembering that she was in a conference in Singapore.

He flopped down onto the couch and wrapped himself up tight in the blanket, enjoying its weight on his shoulders. Opening his laptop, he coughed in embarrassment when the tab that he'd opened in a fit of loneliness last night popped up. "Cuddle Buddies: professional platonic cuddling therapy services for the busy modern professional" seemed to be an entirely legitimate organization serving the touch-starved, and they had excellent reviews.

Look, it's just been a long time since Steve's been in a relationship, and a guy has needs, you know? Sometimes after a long day of being a strong, hard-nosed solicitor, weathering insults and attacks from the opposing counsel and your own coworkers, you just want to have someone stroke your hair and tell you you're good. Steve did his best to keep his work and home lives separate, but lately it was getting difficult to switch off from his worries when he was lying in bed at night, going over details from his cases while he tossed and turned on his pillows.

He scrolled through the information on the website one more time, thinking about how it might feel to invite a stranger into his home to cuddle him. Would it be uncomfortable? Would they think he was pathetic?

Putting aside the laptop for a minute, he ambled back into the kitchen to re-heat some shepherd's pie and put on the kettle for a cup of tea, climbing on a step stool to reach the mugs. His fingers and toes still a little chilly from the crisp autumn evening outside, he decided to fill up a hot water bottle, tucking it carefully into its fluffy case and holding it under his arm as he brought his dinner and drink back to the table. After a couple of bites of the pie, he pulled out a neat little wicker basket from under the table and took out his evening medications. Tapping the pills into his hand, he swallowed them with a gulp of tea and took a couple of huffs of his steroid inhaler for good measure, before getting back to his meal.

Steve may have lost the genetic lottery when it came to his height and his abysmal health, but the gods had seen fit to bless him with more than his share of sheer, bloody-minded scrappiness, which he felt more than made up for it.

Once he'd cleared the plate away and made himself a second cuppa, he opened up a book on his e-reader and held the comforting, warm weight of the hot water bottle to his chest, wondering idly, not for the first time, whether he should get a cat. He was a couple of chapters into a mediocre romance novel when he started tapping his fingers, thinking.

After a brief moment of indecision, he grabbed the laptop with renewed certainty and began to type a request into the website.

Bucky was just waving goodbye to Nat as he walked away from their session when his phone chimed, alerting him that there was a new customer inquiry that the agency wanted him to look at.

Maria: 28 yo man in Red Hook interested in trying cuddle therapy to help with work stress. Would prefer male therapist. Due to asthma, no cologne or scented products, and non-smokers only.

He smiled, and shot off a quick affirmative response. Maria often sent him their new clients - there was something about him that reassured people if they felt a little unsure about the services. Bucky was perfectly happy with his chosen profession - non-romantic physical touch was, in his opinion, essential for a happy life, and he got to provide it to people that needed it. Bucky liked to observe people and through his job he'd met a wide array of curious characters, so the work was never boring.

Also, the pay was amazing and Alpine would only eat the expensive cat food, so there was that.

He continued on his journey, enjoying the changing leaves on the trees around him and the chill in the air. Just as he was about to step onto the subway, his phone buzzed again, and after he found a seat he saw that Maria had sent him the phone number for his new client. He sent off his standard greeting straight away, eager to get his schedule firmed up.

Bucky: Hi Steve, this is Bucky from the Cuddle Buddies agency. When works for you for our first meeting? Looking forward to working with you!

Steve: Thanks for getting back to me. Saturday evening would be best for my schedule. Can I pay the $80 fee via bank transfer? -Steven Grant Rogers, Shield Solicitors

The response came immediately, and was far more businesslike than his usual interactions with clients. Still, Bucky could be businesslike. He even owned a tie.

Bucky: You sure can - the agency should send you out a contract tonight with the bank details. I can do Saturday at 7 if that suits.

Steve: Saturday at 7 sounds fine. What are the terms of the contract?

Of course, Mr. Lawyer Man wanted to know about the contract.

Bucky: It lays out what to expect in our interactions - we provide purely non-sexual services - as well as how to deal with cancellations, how we protect your privacy, and the billing structure.

Steve: Thank you. I look forward to meeting you on Saturday.

Bucky shook his head, wondering how this stuffy, formal guy was going to act during their cuddle session.

Steve didn't have the opportunity to start feeling anxious about his cuddle appointment because the negotiations with the lawyers at the ICE detention center took up every moment of his time. He was wrapping up his conversation with a client via email in his home office when his alarm chimed to let him know that he had half an hour until Bucky arrived.

After stretching his arms over his head, wincing at the tightness of his shoulders after slouching all day, he stripped out of the pajamas he was still wearing and indulged in a long, hot shower, scrubbing away his stress and emerging pink-cheeked and fluffy-haired. In his bedroom, he changed into a soft blue flannel shirt and a pair of pants that looked like slacks but felt like sweatpants, and another pair of his warm, fuzzy socks.

Pacing around his living room, his nerves ramping up, he selected a different blanket to leave ready on the couch and checked twice on his selection of teas. He had just put the kettle on to boil when the buzzer sounded.

On opening the door, he was immediately reassured to see that Bucky had a friendly, engaging grin, and was wearing a soft, knitted sweater. He held out a hand to shake and then immediately felt like an idiot, but Bucky just grasped Steve's cold hand with his warm one and squeezed it.

"Hi, you must be Steve," said Bucky with a pleasant Brooklyn drawl. Without being asked, he pulled a Cuddle Buddies ID card out of his pocket and handed it over to Steve, who checked the details on it and handed it back.

"Nice to meet you," said Steve stiffly. "Please, come on in. I'm just making a cup of mint tea, do you want one?"

"That'd be perfect, Steve. Mind if I take my shoes off?"

"Go ahead," replied Steve with a thin smile, attending to the whistling kettle.

"Thanks," said Bucky when he accepted his cup of tea. Steve couldn't help but notice that Bucky was wearing mis-matched but co-ordinating socks, one with red stars on a white background, and the other with white stars on a red background. He ushered Bucky to take a seat on the couch and sat in the armchair opposite. Bucky's posture was loose and open, but Steve was sitting bolt upright and jiggling his leg nervously. Fortunately, Bucky chose to take the lead in the conversation.

"So, I usually start first sessions with clients by talking about what your goals are for therapy," he began with a reassuring smile. "For example, some clients are looking to feel more comfortable with physical touch, some want to get over a breakup, or reduce stress, and some are just looking for companionship."

"I guess the companionship and stress things," said Steve after thinking for a moment. "My job takes a lot out of me, so I don't really have the time to pursue a relationship, but I do miss that human touch."

Bucky smiled gently, as though what Steve had said wasn't anything out of the ordinary. "What do you do?"

"I'm a lawyer, I mostly represent people who are in danger of deportation," said Steve automatically.

"That sounds rewarding," replied Bucky encouragingly.

"It is," agreed Steve, "but it's incredibly draining. I have to be so hard and tough all the time. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just be..." He tailed off, unsure how to finish his sentence.

"Soft?" supplied Bucky.

Steve smiled, feeling more comfortable despite his misgivings. "Yeah."

"Thank you for being so open with me, Steve," said Bucky, reaching over to squeeze Steve's knee. "If you don't have a particular preference for how we start, how about you join me on the couch and I put my arms around you. Does that sound good?"

Suddenly shy, Steve nodded and moved to sit next to Bucky, who immediately wrapped his big arms around Steve's shoulders and pulled Steve into his broad chest. As requested, Bucky wasn't wearing any fragrance, but he still smelled good, like fresh laundry and crisp autumn air, with an undercurrent of clean skin.

As he relaxed into Bucky's embrace, Steve tried to remember the last time he'd been held so gently. He was a regular recipient of Sam's big bear hugs and Darcy's chest-crushing squeezes, but he hadn't had a long-term romantic partner since law school, and his career didn't leave him a lot of free time to look for one.

"How does that feel?" asked Bucky in a low, soothing voice, gently rubbing at Steve's shoulder.

"Really good," breathed Steve.

"I'm glad," said Bucky gently. "How about I lie down on my back here and you snuggle up to my chest?"

Steve nodded his assent and Bucky released him slowly, and then rolled over to lie along the couch, opening up his arms so that Steve could slot himself in to rest his head on Bucky's warm chest. The knit of his sweater was soft against Steve's face, and one of Bucky's big hands came up to cup the back of Steve's head, rubbing small circles at the base of his skull with his fingertips.

"Thanks for not wearing cologne," said Steve, sounding muffled.

"Pal, I think you sneezing in my face would be worse for me than for you," laughed Bucky, the sound rumbling through his chest.

"It's not my sexiest move," agreed Steve, burrowing deeper into the soft warmth of Bucky's body.

Steve hadn't expected that conversation would carry on easily while they were cuddling - he predicted awkward silences and a feeling of general embarrassment - but they continued chatting while Bucky carded his fingers through Steve's hair, and he felt himself dropping deeper and deeper into a calm state of relaxation.

"So why'd you become a lawyer?" asked Bucky in a low voice, barely breaking into the spell he was casting over Steve.

"Ma came over here from Ireland to work as a nurse," replied Steve drowsily, "and when my pa died, she ran into some trouble with some of her immigration paperwork. There was a lawyer who worked pro bono to stop her from getting deported... the guy really changed our lives."

"So now you help other people the same way."

"I try to. How'd you get into professional cuddling?"

"After I got out of the army, I used to go for counseling sessions at the VA. Took a couple of years, but eventually I started on a course to be a counselor myself. A lot of those guys are so touch-starved, you know? My friend got the idea to start up a cuddling service and I jumped at the chance. It's been my full-time job for three years now."

Digesting this information, Steve was silent for a moment. He wouldn't have pegged Bucky as a soldier given how open and relaxed he was, but Sam didn't seem like an air force pilot, so you never knew. He cast around for a follow-up question. "Are there a lot of cuddling agencies in the world?" he settled on eventually.

"Oh yeah, it's a real growth industry. There's even a book called the Cuddle Sutra."

Steve scoffed. "You're kidding me, people write books about this stuff?"

Bucky cuffed him gently on the back of the head. "Shut up, punk. That's my profession you're besmirching."

"Are you allowed to tell your clients to shut up?" smirked Steve, never happier than when he was being a little shit.

"Only if they're being a punk," grumbled Bucky, wrapping an arm around the back of Steve's shoulders to pull him closer.

Over the course of the next forty five minutes, Steve learned more about Bucky's family, his asshole cat, his collection of semi-dead succulent plants, and his opinions on the present administration of the country. Bucky managed to wheedle Steve into talking about the bullying he faced at work, the stress of not having as many resources as he needed to help everyone he worked with - and he very nearly managed to get him to disclose his mother's recipe for shepherd's pie, and was only stopped by the threat that the ghost of Sarah Rogers would haunt him until he died.

Between the cozy warmth of Bucky's body, the soothing cadence of his voice, and the way his minty breath ghosted over Steve's forehead when he chuckled, Steve was pretty much in heaven, wrapped up in comfort. When Bucky's phone started to vibrate in his pocket, they both let out a little noise of annoyance.

"'Fraid that's my alarm. How'd you enjoy your first session?" asked Bucky, still stroking lines down Steve's back.

Steve hummed contentedly. "Worth every penny," he replied, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head.

"I'm really glad," said Bucky sincerely, squeezing his shoulder before standing up and heading towards his shoes. "Same time next week?"

"That'd be perfect. Thanks, Bucky. For everything."

"No problem," he replied with a genuine grin, fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Now I'd better call Maria before she gets the cops after me to make sure I haven't been murdered in a back alley somewhere."

"I'm glad they care so much about your safety."

"I love my job," laughed Bucky as he let himself out the front door, waving goodbye to Steve as he put the phone to his ear.

Steve spent some time smiling and waving like a goof until Bucky rounded the corner, at which point he finally shook himself awake and shut and locked his door. It was only eight PM but after a few nights of fractured sleep he was ready to follow his relaxed, sleepy feeling straight to bed.

After he pottered around the room, straightening up and putting things away, he brushed his teeth and jumped onto his big, comfortable bed, where he rolled himself up in his comforter like a burrito. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

And I’m back from my midseason finale, continuing my journey to decipher how and why a show about two sexy brothers who hunt ghosts aired on television for over a decade. It’s Supernatural! 

Back in 2009, when I rushed head long from “Salvation”/”Devil’s Trap straight into “In My Time of Dying” (Kripke, you’re being a real bitch with these titles), I was not the TV connoisseur who writes tumblr posts about ancient shows that you read before you. The cliffhanger at the end of “Devil’s Trap” is good enough that it didn’t matter that I’d just crossed the threshold from the first season into the second season. What mattered was that Dean was dying in the back seat and holy shiz, they crushed the Impala?? So I popped out one DVD disc and happily plugged in the next without stopping to think what a new season might mean.

Of course, I knew second seasons were precious. You watch Firefly ONCE and you know the fear of a Show Cancelled Too Soon. Supernatural, apparently, was on the edge of cancellation after season 1, but it’s renewal coincided with the birth of the brand new CW, a network built from the ashes of The WB and UPN respectively, that was in need of nightly programming to fill up the air. So Supernatural was saved (aha) from the Cancellation Bear and remained in it’s (primo) Thursday night time slot, 9pm warning label in-tact. 

What do we say to the Cancellation Bear? Not Today!

That’s not to diminish the importance of it’s renewal for season 2! Depending on what network or cable channel (or year), only something like 20 - 30% of freshman shows get renewed for a season 2. To be fair, if every show that aired in the fall got renewed in the spring, there’d be no time slots left for new freshman shows the following fall, so something’s gotta give. SPN getting a season 2, even if the odds were a little more in their favor than they might want you to think, is still pretty miraculous, especially for 2006. Remember, this is pre-streaming services acquiring original content. In 2006, Netflix was a rental service that focused on mailing you DVDs. Via the U.S. Postal Service. And they wouldn’t officially start acquiring distribution licenses for broadcast shows (let alone their own content) until 2007 - two years after SPN started airing. In the early 2000′s, there were fewer opportunities for television shows to make it in front of an audience because there were fewer options for watching television. I’ll say it a hundred times - Supernatural is a DINOSAUR. 

So what do you do when you’re gripped tight and raised from cancellation after your first season? Well if your Supernatural, you start off with one helluva bang.

Maybe more of a wallop. 

As should be obvious by now, I watch a lot of supernatural and Supernatural-Adjacent television. I love a Season One, but very often those shows start to go downhill in Season 2. Why? For the simple fact that your characters are too good now. They’re too powerful. They’ll never be as vulnerable as they were in season 1, and if there’s no vulnerability, there’s less concern about their survivability. I’m not as invested in these characters because I’m not worried about them anymore. There’s not tension of will they/won’t they - you know they will, in the end, overcome. Of course, the solution to this conundrum is to level your villains up alongside your heroes. The trouble with that strategy is you end up with ludicrously, laughably super strong villains that lose their grounding in reality. This is a problem I foresee for SPN post season 5, but I haven’t gotten there yet, so I’ll leave that alone for right now.

So for me, what Supernatural does at the start of season 2 is genius. Think about the end of season 1 - our boys lose. They straight up failed. They had one goal - kill the demon that killed their women mom/wife and girlfriend - and they did not even remotely do that. They’re beaten, they’re bloody and now, just when we think they can’t lose any more, they lose some more. 

I’m gonna be real honest here, this was a real turn on for me Sammy.

First it’s Baby. For two boys who hop from cheap motel to cheap motel, I think it’s safe to say that the Impala is basically their home. They lose the fight and then they lose their home. That’s rough.

Also, Bobby, I love you, but WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S SCRAP?!?!

Next, they almost lose Dean. Dean is the only thing that’s keeping this family together and he is donezo. He’s so gone, a Reaper is concocting an elaborate hallucination to get him to come to terms with his imminent demise. Which honestly, is a very nice thing for this Reaper to do, but also bb, don’t you do it!

You gotta hand it to this Reaper, she really knew allll the right buttons to push.

Next, we lose the Colt. They have one (1) weapon to use against the Yellow-Eyed-Demon and John gives it away. Is he also finally acknowledging that his children require his love and care? Yes. Is this the shittiest decision he’s ever made, even if it is to save the life of his firstborn? ALSO YES.

Pretty damn stupid, JOHN.

And finally, in the last 5 minutes of the episode, we lose John Winchester himself. And this bitch ain’t coming back. He’s gone. He’s gone for good. Sam and Dean spent months searching for their father, building up this legend of a man, and we as an audience spent months right along with them, only to watch him die in the first episode of season 2! Sam and Dean don’t start out season 2 back at square one, they’re back at square -10. Sure they know who the bad guy is now, but they don’t know how to find him, don’t know how to kill him, and the only person who did know can’t help them anymore! And to top it all off, they don’t even have a ride back from the hospital!

JK, we all know Bobby came and picked them up and took him back to his place, he’s the Real Hero of this show. 

Also, I’m getting ahead of myself here but I’m on a roll - John’s last words to Dean are basically a threat that oh yeah, you have one more thing that this war on hell will steal from you. If you can’t save your brother, you’ll have to kill him. Sure John. Sure. Dean’s definitely gonna do that, John, you bitch.

And they don’t just write this loss off. Over the next three episodes we see how deep this failure goes. Sure, our guys are still out there, doing their thing, killing evil sonsabitches, but damn they are torn up and they are not handling it well. 

Listen, I don’t know what your viewing experience is like, but the recaps on my dvd play this scene every episode for the next, like, five episodes. 

“Everybody Loves a Clown” is a very clear attempt to get back to normal. So clear that they even say it in the episode somewhere, but they have a lot of climbing to do before they get anywhere near normal. They’re driving around in a minivan, they’re taking cases from strangers, they’re living as carnies - their whole world is upside down.

We get another low blow in “Bloodlust.” Dean learns that a) no one can replace his father and b) that Monster doesn’t necessarily mean Evil. So at the end of the episode, when he asks Sam, “What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing,” you feel it like a gut punch. Dean doesn’t even get to keep his own faith that he’s doing the right thing anymore.

Hey buddy. While you’re down on the ground, we thought we’d kick ya a little bit, OK?

And then we round that out with “Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things,” a nice zombie episode that is definitely not about the zombies. Sam and Dean are still grieving the death of their father in a very real way and I actually think Sam’s idea to visit their mom’s grave is really nice. He obviously took several psych courses and is handling grief in a much healthier, mature way than Dean. That being said, when he starts to go all Psych Major on Dean, even I want to slap him in the face. And then that whole attitude really bites him in the ass when Dean finally does open up and he realizes he’s not qualified to therapize this shit.

Oh no, it OK, don’t be cry!

See, we as the audience know that John Winchester traded his own soul to save Dean’s life, but Dean was in a coma with a Reaper, so there’s no way to know what Dean knows. But that bitch is astute and he figures it out. The Colt gone, their dad gone, and that horrible wrong sensation when he woke up in the hospital all point to the fact that John’s final gift to his son was the crushing weight of guilt. Dean knows that John should be here with Sam, would be here with Sam, if it wasn’t for Dean. And since a demon was involved, Dean probably suspects where John is right now. And that is something that he is just gonna have to carry for the rest of forever. I mean, I love Dean and I’m glad he’s still here, but that’s a real dick move John. 

John Winchester. Ruining Lives from Before and Beyond the Grave. 

Notice the change in this season - with the exception of the Yellow Eyed Demon, these first few episodes are not about the monster. These are Feelings Episodes, ooey gooey Feelings Episodes, that just use the monster-of-the-week to get characters to deal with their inner traumas. This is SPN saying they’re not gonna stay on the surface of this show, they’re gonna dig deep and focus on Character Substance over the Horror FX Style. And in season 2, that still feels fun! As an audience member plowing through these episodes, I was thrilled that this was the direction the show was taking. I was also thrilled that all these episode end with Dean staring dramatically into the middle distance, just some A+ cinematography there gentlemen, great job. 

In order, Ep 201, 202, 203, 204. I was not kidding. 

I’m also noticing, having written all this down, that these are some very Dean-centric episodes. Like, it’s very heavy on the Dean. Which I’m not mad about, but I just think it’s real funny considering that Sam was definitely our lead protagonist/entry point into season 1.

Now though? This is honestly my biggest fear as I continue my quest to make it through the entire series. I know how it ends. I have a tumblr account and sometimes I like spoilers to prep me for what’s coming, so I know how this all shakes out. And I think the reason that I sort of gave up on the series was because at some point, these Feelings episodes get too heavy. If all your characters are always bogged down by grief and guilt and loss, at some point that’s not enjoyable to watch anymore. You’ve gotta give them a win at some point. A real win that doesn’t come with caveats like Dean sold his soul to the devil, or, Sam’s locked in a cage with the devil, or really anything involving the devil at all. 

So while I’m enjoying season 2 still, I am worried that my enjoyment level is gonna sink as the series goes on. But that’s still a ways down the road, so in the meantime, have more of Dean staring dramatically into the middle distance.

[imagine-avengers]

Biker Part Three-Clint Barton Series

This is Part Three of my Biker Clint Series, part one and two are listed on my masterlist as will all other parts once they come out. As I stated in part one, this series hasn’t been finished as of July 25, 2020 but I am working on finishing it.

-

Rebecca and Olivia stared at each other for a few minutes before either one speaking again. Rebecca shared the same dark hair and blue eyes as all the Barnes children, only she had a slimmer nose which she inherited from their mother, whilst most of the others got their fathers nose. Olivia cleared her throat before speaking.

“What are you doing here?”

“Olivia. Didn’t know you were back around. Trying to fix your failed marriage? Or did they kick you out of school and you had to come running home like a dog with their tail between their legs?” Rebecca’s voice was like ice as she spoke the words.

“Cheerful as ever Becca.” Olivia rolled her eyes. “No, I came home for other reasons. Heard you got married, guess my invite got lost in the mail.”

“No, we didn’t send you one. Why would I want a backstabbing bitch at my wedding?”

“Ladies.” Luke spoke, not knowing Rebecca and Olivia were siblings. “Something wrong?”

“Yeah.” Bucky spoke coming in with Steve, the two having parked their bikes in the back lot. “My sisters don’t know how to get along. Hey Bec.” Bucky kissed Rebecca’s cheek before moving and doing the same to Olivia, Steve following his actions. “Hey Livvy.”

“Clint’s in the office.” Olivia spoke. “You guys hear back from Tony?”

“He got a hit from the security camera’s at your apartment.” Steve spoke as he took her coffee cup and took a drink. “Brock Rumlow. Got Sam looking into him.” Steve spoke. “They find him and he’ll be brought to us.” Olivia gave Steve a small smile.

“Barton get your ass out here!” Bucky called before turning back to Rebecca. “What are you doing here Bec?”

“Van broke down on my way home from my scan.” She spoke. “You always said to call Clint if my car broke down, said he’s the best mechanic.”

“That’s nice of you Pres.” Clint grinned coming out of his office. “Hey Bec, van breakdown again?” Clint asked as he hugged Rebecca and kissed her cheek like they were old friends, this action caused Olivia to huff.

“Yeah, I think it’s the radiator you said needed to be fixed last time.”

“We’ll get it fixed, you’re family.” Clint spoke.

“Whose family is she? Cause she isn’t mine meaning she’s not yours.” Olivia spoke as Clint looked to his wife.

“She’s your sister Liv.” Clint reminded her as Olivia scoffed.

“My sister? Really, because I remember my sister talking to me, my sister was my best friend, my sister who wanted me to maid of honor at her wedding, my sister who I begged to come to my wedding, begged to be my maid of honor, my sister didn’t stop talking to me because I fell in love. This,” Olivia motioned to Rebecca. “Isn’t my sister, my sister loved me. My sister shared everything with me. My sister wouldn’t get married and get pregnant and not tell me. My sisters are Mary and Frances. I don’t know who she is.” Olivia shrugged as she grabbed Lucky’s leash. “Come on Lucky.” Connecting the leash to his collar she walked out of the shop.

“She acts like we were ever close.” Rebecca spoke.

“You were Bec.” Bucky reminded her. “When you were ten and Olivia was eight, you each had a binder of wedding ideas, you both agreed to be each other’s maid of honor. You didn’t see the look on Olivia’s face when I told her you weren’t there at her wedding. You weren’t there to watch our sister fall apart. You weren’t there to see her almost call of the wedding. You didn’t see the heartbroken girl that became our sister after you cut her off. You were there when Nat told her you had gotten married. As much as you hate her for falling in love with Clint, she still loves you and I guarantee it’s killing her to know that while you ignore her, the two of you are friends, that you talk to Clint when he fell in love with Liv and not you. Double standards Becca.” Bucky spoke with a shake of his head. “Fill Clint in on the situation, I’ve got to go find Liv.” Bucky went to search for Olivia, finding her in a small park not far from the shop.

“Hey.” Olivia spoke as Bucky sat next to her, he two watching as Lucky rolled around in the leaves. “She’s still in love with Clint, isn’t she? She waited until I was gone and tried to make a move.”

“Liv, it isn’t like that.”

“James.” Olivia turned to her brother. “She hates me still, she hates me for falling in love with the boy she loved, she hates me because he didn’t love her back. I lost my sister because I fell in love.” Olivia looked back at Lucky. “I thought, that once Rebecca found someone she loved, she’d stop hating me, but she settled for whoever she married,”

“Frank, his name is Frank.”

“She settled for Frank, Bucky, the way she looked at Clint, it’s the same way I look at him, the same way Nat looks at you, the same look Rebecca had all those years ago with Clint, she’s still in love with him, she forgave him after I left because I was out of the picture and you can’t be mad at the person you’re in love with for not loving you, but you can be mad at the person they love and I bet it makes it worse when it’s your sister.” Olivia voice dropped.

“Liv,” Olivia held her hand up.

“Please, James.” Olivia spoke. “Don’t lie to me.”

“She’s still in love with him. She asks about him every time we talk,”

“She ever ask about me?” Olivia watched her brothers face, the frown that was etched on it confirmed she didn’t. “Why would she? I’m just the bitch who stole the love of her life.”

“You didn’t steal him from her.” Olivia stared at Bucky.

“But I did Buck, did you know that before I told Clint I loved him when I was sixteen that he and Rebecca were sleeping together? He said he didn’t love her, but he slept with her Buck, she thought they were dating, when he told her that he was done sleeping with her and that we were together, she swore to me that she hated me, that I was dead to her. If I never would have admitted to loving him, they’d be together, happy, with a family and I’d have my sister.”

“But Clint wouldn’t be happy and neither would you Liv.” Bucky spoke as Lucky came and laid at Olivia’s feet. “It wouldn’t have been fair to Becca if Clint stayed with her when he was in love with you, just like it wouldn’t have been fair to you. You both loved each other, Rebecca knew that from a young age, you cannot blame yourself for this.” Bucky spoke resting a hand on her leg. Olivia was silent for a few minutes, patting Lucky’s head.

“Clint said mom and dad were coming for the renewal, tell them it’s canceled.” Olivia spoke standing up.

“Liv,” Bucky stood to follow her.

“No James.” Olivia shook her head. “I came back because I missed everyone, I wanted my old life back, but if that includes my sister hating me and me having to watch her be in love with my husband, then I don’t want it. It was a mistake coming back, things were better before I came back, I bet everyone was happier.”

“Livvy.” Bucky called as Olivia pulled Lucky back towards the shop where she found Clint looking over Rebecca’s car, her talking and laughing with him. Olivia leaned down and rubbed Lucky’s head.

“You be a good boy for daddy, okay? Mommy loves you so much, so much baby, but daddy needs you, he needs you more than mommy.” Olivia started tearing up as she kissed Lucky’s head. “I love you Luck, take this to daddy.” Olivia slipped her ring off and buckled it to Lucky’s collar before she backed out of the shop. Olivia didn’t grab any of her things before leaving, she just grabbed her keys and purse before driving her car away from her home, away from the only place she felt whole.

-

“Lucky.” Clint spoke as the dog came trotting towards him. “Where’s mom, bud?” Clint looked around as Rebecca shrugged, not having seen her sister come in.

“What’s on his collar?” Rebecca asked. Clint looked at the collar and slipped the ring off.

“Olivia’s wedding ring.” He spoke softly.

“Clint.” Bucky’s voice came from the front.

“She’s gone, isn’t she? She left again.” Clint spoke standing from under the car. Bucky nodded as Clint patted Lucky’s head. “Luke.” Clint motioned to the car before heading towards his office.

“Clint,” Bucky started.

“Don’t, please.” Clint spoke, looking towards his brother-in-law, one of his best friends, tears were streaming down his face. “Just don’t Buck, I’m not what she wants, she’s left twice.” Clint stated going into his office and beginning to search through his papers.

“What are you looking for?” Bucky asked as he and Rebecca stood in the door. Clint didn’t speak as he searched, seemingly finding the papers, he grabbed a pen and began scribbling on it. “Clint.” Bucky spoke again as Clint sent the pen down.

“She’s left twice now Bucky, I’ll give her what she wants, she can have her divorce.” Clint spoke as he slid the papers into the envelope. “I’m done, I’m not going to keep playing her games, one minute she’s happy being married, the next she’s gone? I’m just done.” Clint pushed passed the two and walked out of the shop, Lucky in tow.