#reminding each other to eat or go to sleep at healthy times or knowing exactly what the other needs

[merakiui]

learning that rollo eats the same lunch (16 grapes, 2 croissants, 1 café au lait) every day is so funny to me. he’s so cute. T-T rollo, please eat a feast. you deserve it. why limit yourself to the same thing over and over?

also his voice line where he invites you to check out the mostro lounge with him. saying, “i like cafés. shall we take a look?” casually asking you out on a date…… rollo, you’re exceptionally cute.

[yuutakuns]

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I have been thinking very deeply about Yuuta in a relationship. I know ultimately he's a cutie that is just the sweetest to his partner but I'm sure we can all agree that there is something so dark and twisted in the way he loves.

Yuuta is the kind of partner that feigns contentment. If you're happy, then he's happy. Or so he thought. It's not that he's unhappy, no, he is extremely happy. But it is exactly this happiness that he cannot let slip and get away. It is because of his anxiousness that he feels he has to grasp for you closer and closer. More than anything, he just wants to be with you.

Content Warnings: MDNI (minors do not interact), 18+,toxic relationship, manipulation, possessiveness, dub-con, cervix fucking, creampies, size kink(ish), afab reader (genitalia mentioned), idk I’m a degenerate, kinda proofread kinda not

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It starts with little things.

Yuuta tries so hard to be understanding. He knows it's not healthy to be this obsessive. He knows that it's no good for you and it's not good for him. But it's times when you're out with other friends or making time for other people when he feels his heart twist and turn wretched at the sight of you smiling with others. It's this nagging insecurity that eats at him.

When you tell him you made plans to hang out with Yuuji and the others this coming weekend. Yuuta smiles.

"That's great. I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun hanging out with Yuuji! I know you'd prefer to be around someone a lot more positive than hang out with me more than you need to."

Of course Yuuta knows that this is not at all what your intentions are. But he can't help but feel relief in the way your smile drops and your face tinges with worry.

"Yuu- What? No- That's not at all why I'm going out with them-"

"It's okay. You don't have to explain. I know what being around me too long is like. I wouldn't really want to, either."

It's conversations like these that make Yuuta feel like you two are meant to be.

The way you are so willing to drop everything for him, to decide that it's fine. I don't at all mind being with you again this weekend! I don't have to go out. Let's stay in together, I don't want you to feel left behind.

He thinks you're too kind for your own good.

It's little things like this that build up. The way you start to become more isolated from everyone else, telling them sorry, I have plans this weekend or oh, I can't make dinner tonight after all. It's when you choose Yuuta over anyone and everyone else that his heart soars.

It's when you become completely and utterly dependent on Yuuta that he smiles the brightest.

You can't go on without him. If for some reason you do go out alone you know that he's texting you, calling you, or even showing up to meet you. He's everywhere. It's only to make sure that you're safe, of course. You're useless without him. Who knows what trouble you could get into. It’s better this way.

It's when you agree to move in with him. It's safer to be close to each other, and now Yuu doesn't have to go out to your apartment every night to check on you. You're safe right beside him. You don't think you've ever seen him happier.

"It's okay, you'll always be safe when I'm here. So that's why, I'll always follow you wherever you go," Yuuta hums into your ear as you drift off to sleep, dreaming of cold fingers slithering up your body and pressing on your neck as you lay paralyzed. You always wake up in a sweat, fear coating your brow. You chalk it up to a case of stress getting to you.

It's strange. The closer Yuuta and you get the farther you wish you were from him. But if it means Yuuta is happy, then why should you complain?

It's nice to see him smile so widely. You know that he's always been the lonely type. Maybe he just needs to be close to someone for once, to feel genuine security and love.

That's what you remind yourself anyway, as you let Yuuta use your body to satiate his hunger.

Yuuta never used to be so rough. Sure, there were times when you'd try something new or indulge him in an act. But this was something else entirely.

Big fat tears stream down your cheeks as Yuuta rams his thick cock into your pussy. It was a tight fit, as usual.

Sometimes, Yuuta takes it slow and preps you nice and sweet. It reminds you more of the old times when things were a little more simple. But sometimes something possesses Yuuta. You see it in his eyes. It's dark and empty, like a black hole wanting to swallow you hole.

You sob as Yuuta fucks into your dripping wet hole, nails digging into your soft thighs as your tits bounce up and down from his thrusts. Yuuta grunts softly, breath shaking as he drills into your pussy, smiling as he watches you make the most fucked out expressions. His cock was so fucking hard, he felt so happy being so close with you. Being so connected with you. He loved feeling the way your walls clenched around his dick, the way your cunt milked him.

You didn’t really want to have sex tonight. But you felt so guilty for rejecting Yuuta. He always looked so hurt when you said you weren’t up for it. Your heart ached when he asked, “Do you not want to be close with me anymore? I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I always mess everything up.” He always knows how to get under your skin.

You moaned as Yuuta stretched out your gummy wet walls. He always knows how to open you up, how to own you completely.

“S-so good. Your pussy is so good. Always so so so good for me. Do you like that? Am I making you feel good? Tell me.”

You sobbed, your cunt clenching around his cock in the most delicious way. “Yuu- I can’t- S’too much— You’re too much—“ You managed to choke out, eyes rolling back whenever his tip fucked into your cervix. You felt his dick twitch at the sound of your sobs.

He was in so deep, situated between your open legs. Your legs held up over his shoulders as he bent you in half. You could feel his cock as your walls clenched around him, your slick dripping and squelching as he fucked into you. It was so lewd.

You covered your face with your arms instinctually as tears prickled out the corners of your eyes. You were so overstimulated. Yuuta slid his hands over your body to move your arms, holding each down on the side of your head. You couldn’t even have this.

“Look at me, don’t hide. Ngh- I want to see you. Wanna see your pretty face— Ah, show it to me. Show me what’s mine.”

You looked up at him, vision blurred from all the stimulation. He looked down at you, expression adoring as he continued to mercilessly pound into you. You moaned. He was your Yuuta. Your sweet precious Yuuta. Your love, your light. How did it become like this?

Yuuta grunted. “ ‘M close— so close. Can I cum? Can I cum in your pussy? You’re so good baby. You take me so good. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I wanna own you. I wanna be closer to you. Let’s become closer, yeah?”

He maneuvered his hands to grasp for yours, entwining your fingers together as he rammed erratically into your sopping cunt. You cried out soft little moans as you felt his cock piston into you.

You were also close, pussy clenching around his cock. “Yuu- ‘m close— so close, I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum for me baby, cum on my cock. Give me everything. You belong to me. Everything you have belongs to me.”

You came hard, eyes fluttering shut as slick spilled out everywhere onto the bed. You felt so spent.

He let out a sigh as he humped into your used pussy, cock twitching as he released his load into your cunt. He filled you up, made you whole. His cum dripped out of your pussy as he made himself comfy on the bed, still inside of you. He held you close, nuzzling into your neck.

“I love you. More than anything.”

“Yeah.” You sucked in a shakey breath, “I do too.”

[sirsell]

I'm here

Quick Authors Note: This is third Chapter of my story I'm here.

I'm more active on wattpad so you might want to check that out.

English is not my first language so please feel free to correct me.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Chapter 3

It had been two days since my breakdown in front of Scarlett and ChrisE and apart from the fact that Scarlett wouldn't let me out of her sight, not much changed. ChrisE treated me almost exactly the same as before. But Scarlett got up with me in the mornings to make sure I ate breakfast. She made sure I did my schoolwork, went to bed early enough and so on.

While doing all this she constantly reminded me that my mother's death wasn't my fault and that I should not feel guilty about it.

I mean I was grateful she tried, but in all honesty I've known for a long time that my mother's death was my fault. She was just feeling sorry for me. "Lottie. Love. It's me Scarlett. Are you ready for today?" The happy voice of the blonde, followed by a knock made me look up. I opened the door and gave her a small smile.

"Good morning Baby. Did you sleep alright? You seem tired." I gave her a little nod. 

"Alrighy let's go get breakfast." I nodded again and followed her towards the Common Room. She guided me towards the table and told me to sit down, while she made breakfast. "I can help." I tried but she shook her head and started to make scrambled eggs. 

Ten minutes later she put a plate down in front of me and another one for her. "You do realize that we could get at the buffet, right?" I asked, while pouring us both something to drink. "Yeah I know but most of the food there isn't very nutritious and you don't eat enough, so I want to make sure that what you eat is healthy." "I'm so.." "No, please don't apologize, there's no need and now please eat." "Kay." The eggs were really good, but way too much for me. "I'm sorry I'm full." She sighed but gave me a small nod. "Okay." And after she finished her breakfast we cleaned up together. 

"Come on love, you have to go to hair and makeup." While the hair and makeup artist worked on me, Scarlett tried to make Smalltalk with me. Meaning she tried and gave her short and unspecific answers. 

I followed her to the set were started filming.

"Come Baby, it's time for lunch." Lizzie pulled me with her to the buffet. The rest of the cast  was already there, eating and talking. Apparently Jeremy had something funny cause ChrisH started laughing really loud. He waved over while shipping some tears away as Lizzie and I walked closer. "Hey." Most of them looked at us and smiled or greeted each other. Scarlett, who I hadn't seen since the morning, got up and walked over. She pulled me in a quick hug. "Hey love." She pressed a quick kiss on my hair, while I gave her a smile and leaned into her.

"What do you want to eat?" She asked and I looked over the food before deciding on taking two small pieces of pizza. "That's not very much." I heard Scarlett say next to me, but I just shrugged and followed her back to one of the tables. Liz, Aaron and Robert were already sitting there, eating and talking. So while the grown ups were lost in their conversations, I tried to eat the food. But after finishing the first I was full, my stomach started hurting. I really wasn't used to eating so much in so little time. First the eggs, now the pizza.

"By the way. Lottie. There was a man that wanted to talk to you." Aaron said, making me look up at him. 

"A man?" I asked and I could feel my stomach twisting. I didn't really know a lot of people, especially nobody that would just turn up here. Nobody but my father.

"Yes. End of the forties. Dark hair." He continued, while eating. The dark twisted feeling in my stomach just grew. Of course he would turn up today. I sighed. Today was the five year anniversary of my mother's death and up until now he turned up every year on this day to visit me.

"Oh uhm, probably just my dad." I mumbled and got up, I probably should get over with it quickly. "Everything okay?" I nodded and walked towards the trailors. He probably would wait in my trailor, where we had some privacy. I reached my trailor way too quickly and knocked before I opened the door. 

"Charlotte." My father. He was sitting on a chair next to the small table and looked at me. "Father." I answered, just I closed the door behind me.

Now that we were in a closed room, with almost no ventilation I could smell him. The fast food. Alcohol and sweat. Especially the alcohol.

As I stepped closer I noticed the Vodka bottle on the table. Almost empty. He grabbed my arm and pulled me with him. He was way too fast and made me stumble, but he just pulled me with another jerk, making me hit my head on one of the cabinets. I cried out in pain. Raising my hand to figure out whether I was bleeding or not. "Stop crying or I'll give you a real reason." He pushed me against the door towards the small bedroom.

"It's your fault. If you wouldn't be so incredibly ungrateful and would just listen to your parents for once, my wife would still be alive." A stinging pain on my left cheek told me that he had slapped, and before I knew it I flinched again. This time the pain was in my stomach region. He had punched me in my stomach and I leaned forward to handle the pain, but he lifted me up by my shoulders. 

"You deserve it. You're a murderer you killed her." His voice was getting louder and he punched me again and again. "Please stop." I begged him. "I'm so sorry. Please." The hot, salty tears were running down my face. I was looking directly into his black eyes, while he was laughing directly into my face and just continued to punch me in my stomach. "It's your fault." His breath was smelling just like alcohol and now his face came even closer, but I could see him tearing up and some tears started rolling down."And you look just like her." He cried out. Just like every year. First he was drunk, angry and sad and in the end he was just sad. But through all of his emotions he carried aggression and when he was aggressive he hurt me. I just closed my eyes and waited. Two more punches into my stomach. A furious scream that it was my fault and I was to blame. 

Then his hands started to push my shirt up. "No..no.. please don't." Only one time he had touched me. One year ago, he had been in the same mood as today, sad and angry. He had mumbled something about my mother before he had pushed me down on my bed.

His long, ice cold fingers brought me back to reality and I could feel him push my sweater back up and throw it to the side. 

"You look just like her." His face got closer to mine and it was almost on mine, when somebody knocked on the door.

"Lottie? Are you okay? We heard someone scream." I heard Scarlett's Voice. I closed my eyes, now everything would get worse. Now my new friends would find out what I really deserved. My father pressed his hand on my mouth. "Lottie?" I heard her voice again. The tears were still screaming down my face. "Charlotte? Please open the door." She sounded urgent and worried. "Tell her that everything is alright." My dad told me, before he took his hand away from my mouth. "Everything is alright Scarlett." I mumbled, but my voice was shaking and I know she picked up on it and that I hadn't been able to calm her down. "Charlotte. Open the door or I'll get one of the boys to open it." I couldn't react since my father had silenced me again. My whole body was trembling and apparently she really went to get someone, since only seconds later someone started to pull on the door. "Lottie. I'm coming inside." ChrisE was standing in front of my door. I heard somebody throwing themselves against the door and it started to crack. My father was completely frozen. He didn't move. The fear and anger were written in his face. The door cracked and small splints flew around as the door broke out of its angles. ChrisE stumbled inside, Scarlett right behind him. Both of them looked at me and my dad.

It took them a few seconds in complete shock before they sprung into action, Chris pulled my father away from me, which led to me falling onto the ground.  "Lottie. Baby. Everything will be alright." Scarlett kneeled down next to me. She gently helped me to put the sweater back on, which I was grateful for, since by now everybody had realized that something was really off and came running. 

"It's her fault. She deserves this." My father continued yelling outside. Scarlett just pulled me into her arms and cradled me in her arms. Her hands gently started to brush through my hair. "What happened?" I heard Lizzies voice, but nobody answered her. I just closed my eyes and tried to delete everything that just happened. "It's okay baby. I'm here. You're safe, I promise." Scarlett whispered into my hair. 

"Lottie. Everything is gonna be alright. I called the police. Your father will never hurt you again." ChrisH had kneeled down in front of us and I gave him a small nod. "Come let's get some tea." Scarlett mumbled as she helped me up.

[lindwurmkai]

Due to reasons, I need to talk about my issues with the topic of "healthy eating" for a moment. I am not someone you'd expect to be outright triggered by diet talk because I didn't grow up fat and never exactly had an eating disorder. Now I am what people tend to call "small fat" and have tons of food allergies and sensitivities, but all of this started long before that.

So what happened there? I only dimly remember that people kept telling me I needed to eat better and exercise more and then surely my mystery symptoms would disappear. This was when I was 16 or so and we didn't have internet at home, so all I could do was read books and magazines. I quickly noticed that no one agreed on what exactly "healthy eating" meant. Instead of following the first piece of advice I found or haphazardly combining them all into "everything except vegetables is bad", I took the autistic route and tried to find The Truth.

This turned out to be impossible. People were still urging me to eat healthy and I just could not fucking figure out what that meant. At one point, I decided to at least cut out sweets because those were pretty unanimously considered bad, and I took this so far that I actually convinced myself and started telling everyone I didn't like sweets, so years later I suddenly had to somehow get it through my mother's head that this had only been a phase and I would indeed appreciate receiving sweets on birthdays and holidays.

Of course it had no effect whatsoever. Neither did the year I was vegetarian.

Another thing I remember is that my mother bought some kind of diet book for herself and I read it, too. But all the recipes in there used ingredients I had either never heard of or we just never had in the house, and many of them were expensive. Did my mother learn how to make any of these dishes or start buying the ingredients at least a little more often? No! I had this book and the knowledge that I was Supposed To Eat Healthy but absolutely no idea how to accomplish it, while at the same time questioning if the information in the book was even true because all other sources always contradicted each other.

Then my biology teacher saved me. We did this segment in class where she gave us a book on food myths and each student had to pick a chapter to hold a speech on. I think I chose the one about calories, which was not completely anti-dieting but mostly focused on the inaccurate methods used to determine how many calories different foods supposedly contain. The book was, in general, not quite on the level of modern fat acceptance but maybe 80% of the way there. I'm amazed she got away with teaching us that in class.

Now armed with the knowledge that there was actually a lot that science didn't know yet, explaining all the conflicting information I had seen, I felt reassured that I wasn't just "being difficult", but unfortunately I was still sick and people still kept telling me I had to eat better, exercise more, go to bed earlier, practise good sleep hygiene (which includes not eating late at night), and so on. My timeline of events is completely scrambled and I don't know if I continued making any half-assed diet attempts after that.

Fast forward to when I was 21 and my boyfriend's doctor told him that he had to lose weight in order to fix a health issue that had definitely not been caused by weight gain, which seemed illogical to me. He was on meds that would make losing weight very difficult, so I was concerned, and we had internet now. I stumbled upon fat acceptance blogs in my research, which reminded me of that book from biology class. It became a bit of a special interest.

Not much later, I developed fibromyalgia and also started hanging out on chronic illness blogs as well as those that combined the two topics. I learned a lot about various health conditions including ones I do not have and never even suspected I might have. I learned that doctors could not be blindly trusted, that symptoms being written off as psychosomatic was quite common, that most food-related pop "science" was still bullshit, that sustained deliberate weight loss was almost impossible and no one had even proven it would help.

Then I gained weight for the first time, without any changes in my eating habits or activity levels. I suspect, but cannot confirm, that this happened because I developed a sensitivity to wheat and one of my body's reactions to continuing to eat it was weight gain for some reason. Eventually it got so bad that I had painful diarrhea on a regular basis and started avoiding certain foods, got tested for Celiac's and lactose intolerance, tested negative, didn't understand what was going on but continued to avoid wheat and eventually also oats. The weight started to slowly come off. (I was not, according to any definition, eating "healthier" than before as a result of avoiding these ingredients btw.)

By then I had reached a point where being confronted with diet talk of any kind would give me panic attacks. It wasn't that the blogs made my existing issues worse; they just opened my eyes to how much I'd been mistreated for a decade and at the same time I was still constantly exposed to medical gaslighting. I was being actively retraumatised, of course it got worse! The food thing was just one trigger out of several, and I guess I became particularly sensitised to it for two reasons: because being confronted with misinformation and disrespect for the scientific method already tends to feel awful for many autistics, and then the nature of my trauma also made me overreact to pretty much anything that contradicted my lived experience.

I had tried many "lifestyle changes" without seeing any improvements in my health. I had gained weight without changing anything and lost it again without eating less or exercising more. I had even, at one point, tried to gain weight on purpose and failed?? Meanwhile my blood work always came back perfect no matter what my body currently looked like, much to my frustration since I was still looking for an explanation for my symptoms.

"Can't deal with claims that contradict my lived experience" is pretty much it. I also particularly love being told that sugar is addictive or some shit because I can sit next to a pile of sweets for hours without being tempted to eat it if I've already had enough sugar recently. There were times in my life where I had to rely on chocolate bars to get enough calories into my body, and let me tell you, those don't taste great when you're sick of sugar and don't want any more.

I just had to get this out of my system. I'm allowed to have strong feelings about this even though I never technically had an eating disorder. It all plays into my more general "authority figures invalidating my experiences" trauma anyway.

[acelnotahole]

TW: NUMBERS TALK, BASICALLY ALL 3 MAJOR EATING DISORDERS, CURRENTLY IN RECOVERY

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This was... Honestly not expected for us. Our lowest weight while in the depths of it all was 169 - at that point, it would have been about 36 lbs of weight loss. We then gained to about 280 through binge and purging, though only vomiting until the end, and pure binging at the beginning. A binge and starve cycle had taken control for over 6 years.

We haven't been calculating calories, and we haven't really been *thinking* about what we're eating. But we know our weight. 163.8. nearly 6 lbs less than where we got with our EDs. We got lower from a healthier standpoint. We didn't need to suffer that entire time.

We could have done this a long time ago. If we just knew how to find a peace in the eye of the storm.

And I guess that's what's different today than last year or 3 years ago? We've found maybe not the eye, but so fucking close. We've almost found our safe place within the vortex, where it all makes sense. We've almost got to some form of inner balance, harmony, contentedness. Peace. We didn't know they were different before, but they are.

Balance is this kind of sturdy feeling, a solid ground to stand upon. It brings a kind of stability only found with it.

Harmony is when everyone can work together, we flow and we are a well oiled Voltron of a machine. Our parts, and singlets have parts as well - just not fragmented, sing a tune only we know. The clouds part and we can thrive in the sun.

Contentedness is more of a quieter, background emotion. But when we don't have it, the missing puzzle piece is a blackhole. It makes such a difference and we took it for granted for so long, a core kind of happiness. Not the joyous yellow, but more of a mellow sunset yellow. Swirled with a little bit of orange and red and pink, just for fun. We're okay.

Peace is similar to a combination of all three but also its own feeling entirely. With peace is a sort of trusting that no matter what, we will be alright. Undisturbed. Quiet, but never in a lonely way. In such a warm, cozy way.

In other life updates, we've started a trauma therapy called EMDR - though it's tricky since we're a system. We're on an antidepressant called Lamotrigine, and it seems to be making our manias more... Enjoyable? Too.

Before it was a fire so deep it burnt holes in us, uncontrollable and red hot. It blocked us from the world in a way only we knew exactly. Now, they're a kind of warmth that spreads through us. Almost like wax on the wick of a candle, adding substance and energy to keep it going for longer.

Depressions aren't non-existent but they are smoother, we sleep in an extra half hour instead of 3 full and go to sleep an hour later. We find ourselves only going two, or three days without journaling or doing crucial self care instead of fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. We find ourselves reaching for healthier habits because we want to feel better and there's not a giant brick wall in the way. It's just a fence, and we're so close to that goddamn gate.

We're not at a state where this is our feeling always, but it is more consistently. We are still triggered and we are still finding it hard to go a day without smoking because of our stress and how hard it is to stay grounded. Our flashbacks are lessening and we've been able to journal about more of deeper childhood memories.

Parts that split are being reintroduced and though some are fusing, some are choosing to stay as their own identity. They're actually helping out a lot.

We exercise only when we want to build now. Build muscle, discipline, healthy habits. We remind ourselves that we don't deserve to tear ourselves apart anymore at least once every other day.

Our clarity is improving. And we're making better decisions and listening to our boundaries more.

Now... We do have the issue of not communicating to each other so that we don't communicate to the outside. We're working on our trust.

We also have issues with respecting each other's boundaries.

We don't allow each other to front fully if we're being petty.

We have a lot more system work to do in general.

But we're making it there. Recovery ain't so bad.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

The neither route was amazing! If you ever get ideas for it pls continue because i found it really interesting. You are a great writer.

Okay! This route actually made me very happy, but unfortunately, as much as I wanted to write it, I didn't know how exactly to do it? If that makes sense?

Context is HERE- The very end of the story is the Neither route.

TW: Anxiety, mentioned nightmares, mentioned Tubbo threatening Ranboo, guilt

I would also like to say that cuddling is platonic.

Left The Game (Plat!C!Ranboo x GN!Reader x Parental!C!Philza) Headcanon/Fic (Part 3???)

Ranboo Beloved joined the game.

(Y/n) (L/n) joined the game.

Michael Underscore-Beloved joined the game.

You and Ranboo tumbled out of the swirling portal and hit the ground with a hard thud, dirt and sand kicking up around you both upon impact.

Before you could comprehend what happened, a small squeal came from behind you and something slammed into your back, causing a groan to pull itself from your chest.

The monochrome male mumbled from beside you, his face practically buried in the grass which caused his words to be muffled.

His crown had rolled a few feet away, and his bags had opened as well, sending a few of his tools scattering, but everything seemed to be intact?

You slurred a mess of words before spitting out the sand that had gathered up in your mouth, attempting to tell the tall male that you were alive.

At least somewhat.

You both knew that you three had to drag yourselves into Phil's house, but the travel was so exhausting. Sleeping in the dirt sounded so tempting...

A quiet whine sounded from the weight on your back, reminding you that Michael had also come into the server with you.

When Ranboo got up, he picked the zombie piglin up from where he sat on your back, allowing you to get up.

You both, plus Michael who was resting on Ranboo's hip, began to pick up everything that had dropped out of the portal with you.

Once everything was gathered up, you three wandered through the iron doors of Philza's home and looked around curiously.

Two cats, one named Pog and one named Champ, came up to you both, chirping and meowing eagerly before pausing suddenly. They most likely expected Phil...

Michael gave a loud squealing noise at the sight of the cats and squirmed out of Ranboo's hold, running over to pet the cats.

Ranboo set off to find food in the chests, scribbling in his memory book the entire time.

You, on the other hand, dug through your bags to find materials you had brought to make three beds. One yellow, one grey and the other (f/c).

Once you placed each of them beside each other, Michael eagerly hopped into the middle one (the yellow one), while Ranboo walked over with plates of steamed carrots and baked potatoes.

"Stressed?" He mumbled softly, watching you stare down at your wrist where the tattoo of a heart with deep grooves in the center rested. The exact place the three hearts tattoos were, "I-I know, it's going to be a little different... But... Maybe it's a good different! ...Please, eat something and then get some sleep. Phil will check on us in the morning, and you know how he can get..."

With a smile, he handed you the plate and a fork before sitting on the floor at the foot of the beds with his own plate. Luckily he had given Michael a golden apple before he had gone to look for food, so the child was quietly drifting off to sleep, "Do... You really think that running was the best option?" You whispered, taking a bite of the vegetables.

"I... What else could we have done?" He frowned, setting his crown beside him before taking a bite of his own food, "We couldn't fight them... and they were definitely not going to let you go so easily. Hell... Tubbo... My own fiance was threatening to kill me because I was talking to you and caring for your burns!" He hissed, tilting his head back with his eyes pinched shut tightly, trying so hard not to cry.

You quickly walked over and moved his plate so it rested on his bed and you wrapped your arms around him tightly. The enderman hybrid eagerly returned the hug, crying into your shoulder so the fabric of your clothes soaked up his tears, "Should... I have just... Accepted their love, and maybe learn to love them back? For everyone's sake?" You whispered, your voice wavering as you tried to keep your composure.

"Absolutely not!" He yanked himself back from your shoulder to give you a glare, "That relationship would not have been healthy whether you loved either of them or not! They would've kept you locked away like a prized possession, and they would've severely hurt anyone who tried to interact with you!"

"I- I know... But..." You glanced down, but Ranboo tilted your head upwards so you were looking at him, but you still avoided eye contact so it didn't make him uncomfortable, "Your... Your relationship..."

Ranboo sighed, "I know. But, I'd rather that he showed me his true colours and I divorced him again for that, rather than him manipulating someone into loving him... and putting everyone else in danger in response. Now. We have a lot to do tomorrow. Finish eating and get some sleep."

The next morning, Philza practically slammed open the iron doors to his own house, looking a tad bit out of breath and a bit frazzled.

Once he saw you, Michael and Ranboo curled up in a small cuddle pile on the three different coloured beds, he gave a loud sigh of relief and adjusted his striped bucket hat.

Thankfully, the father of Minecraft let you three sleep for a little while before waking you and Ranboo up around noon.

First, he gave you both spare elytra's and so you could keep up with his massive black avian wings.

Ranboo's turned into massive black and purple dragon wings, while yours turned into (f/c) (f/a) wings.

Phil showed you both the end realm and his Endlantis, which he gave Ranboo special water protection potions so he could swim through the waters as well.

This man basically treated you three as if you were his own children!

Taught you how to fly.

Taught you how to cook properly.

Everything!

And basically survive with bare minimums.

Once you both got better at flying, a few months later, Philza rEAAALLY wanted to take you to the massive project he called Nether Void.

"Ready, mates?" Philza walked over and ruffled the hair on both your and Ranboo's heads with a soft smile, somehow unbothered by the blistering heat of the hellscape, "Double check your potions, armour durability and food supply."

Ranboo mostly stopped wearing his crown because it had problems staying on when he flew and because it had a lot of memories tied to it, so he didn't want it damaged. He had also stopped wearing his tux, instead, he wore plain black pants and a white ruffled poet shirt with a purple short cape that had a golden trim and gold chains, which was a gift from Philza.

You on the other hand wore something similar but with a(n) (f/c) poet shirt and a(n) (f/c) and gold cape. Your cape was also a gift from the fatherly figure as well, and so was the (f/c) infinity scarf type fabric wrapped around your shoulder over your chest that helped you carry and protect Michael as you flew, "Yep, we're ready to go, Mr. Dadza Minecraft!" You gave him a mock salute with a smile as he laughed.

Ranboo checked on Michael who was nibbling on a golden apple before he helped put the zombie piglin child into your scarf carrier, "Yeah, everyone seems safe!" He chirped softly as he adjusted his cape to spread his wings, shaking them out a bit in the heat of the lava.

"Let's go!" You cheered softly once you made sure Michael was 100% secure and wouldn't fall out somehow, "Food is stocked up and in my bag, as well as Regen and Health pots, and a first aid kit and two extra totems."

Philza gave you a proud father smile and took off first, hovering in the air for a few seconds as he waited for both of you to catch up. Thankfully, he knew very well that you both likely would never be able to catch up to his skill in flying as he had been born with massive feathered wings hundreds of years ago. You and Ranboo had never been into the air until a few months ago. Once you both caught up, he took off and soared through the burning hot nether.

Phil loved telling you both the stories of the lands. The Blaze Empress who lived in the Quartress, the foolish Ender King...

You and Ranboo always listened to his stories with such eagerness, often asking him to retell the stories when you were having a bad day or just wanted to relax.

The elder male actually greatly enjoyed having two children to raise again, even if he didn't have the best track record with sane children.

When he did leave to go to the DreamSMP, he would always promise you both that he would be safe and NEVER left without saying goodbye, even if he was angry or upset with either one of you.

He never wants his last words to someone to be filled with anger or hatred.

Somedays he would go to the SMP, you and Ranboo would not leave the house, just out of fear that he wouldn't come back, or that Tubbo and Tommy would come out instead of Phil.

Both you and Ranboo were plagued by nightmares very often for the first few weeks and woke up in tears in the middle of the night.

As old as Phil was, he had absolutely no problems comforting either of you in the middle of the night, same with Ranboo.

"Here mates..." He whispered softly as he handed you a hot beverage and gave Ranboo a grass block, "You're safe here... I promise. I would have to allow either of them into the server, and that would never happen... Especially now that I know what kind of people my sons are..."

You sighed and put your hand on Ranboo's back as he sobbed into your shoulder, using the fabric of his shirt to dry his tears before they burned his skin, "I know... I know... There's just the overwhelming fear that suddenly I'll wake up and I'll be back in the SMP and-and..." You decided not to finish your sentence, nuzzling into Ranboo's hair to try and keep yourself calm.

"Last I checked... Techno scared them off from the Tundra... But I haven't been in Snowchester or near the Embassy enough to know what Tubbo and Tommy are doing. But Ghostbur said that Tubbo has gone absolutely nuts... And Sam had to steal the nukes so Tubbo wouldn't destroy anything else... He also said Tommy on the other hand hasn't done anything except visit Dream in prison constantly."

Ranboo gave a shaky sigh and glanced over at Michael, most likely extremely happy that he brought his child along so he didn't have to deal with a psychotic Tubbo... Hell, he didn't know what would've happened to his kid if he did leave him. The thought caused him to give a small sob and hide his face again, holding onto you tighter and practically pulling your smaller form into his lap, trying to silently promise you safety and using you to remind him that he wasn't alone.

"We... we can't thank you enough, Phil... Really... You taught us so many life skills, kept us safe and promised us a safe haven... Allowed us to your private server..." You whispered, before feeling the warm cup being taken from your hand before a hand replaced it.

"Honestly... It's the least I can do to protect you both... You two have become two children to me, and, while I haven't been able to raise you from children like Techno, Wil and Tommy..." He didn't continue his sentence, struggling to form sentences, but both you and Ranboo understood and were quick to yank him into your little cuddle pile/hug, the two of you eagerly hugging him.

"Thank you... Dadza..."

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (12/?)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: A collection of letters Spencer and you share while you're gone - and then you're gone forever. At least, that what he thinks.

Warnings: some fluff, angst, angst, angst, smoking, slight ptsd, grief and loss

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I'm sososososo sorry. please don't hate me. I love you. gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous part

Dearest little bear,

two months have passed since you had to leave, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here with me.

We are trying to do everything in our power to be able to bring you back home. But unfortunately, it seems to be taking longer than I would like.

I was told you were working on it as well. You are strong and smart and even though you can't be with me, I'm sure we can do it together.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

I was very happy to receive your message. I always carry it with me, although I would rather be in your arms, but I can't.

I can't tell you where I am right now, but still I wish you were with me. It is warm and beautiful and I am sure you would like it here very much.

Except for these letters, I'm not allowed to talk to any of you, but I like talking to you best anyway. We've come this far. And we'll make it.

Thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

It's been four months and with each passing second it becomes more unbearable. But a light is appearing at the end of the dark tunnel. We think we know who she is.

It won't be long before we can see each other again. And I can't wait to be able to hug you again. To be able to touch you. Or kiss you.

Not much longer. And then nothing can separate us.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

It would have been too good to be with you again at last. But it still takes time.

I have found something that can help us, but for now, just know that I will do everything I can so that I can return home. Back to you. No matter what it costs.

Keep your eyes open. We're closer than you think.

I'm thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

I was given time off to take a break. I was with my mother and she told me that a kind young lady had been here. She doesn't remember you, but she knows you are familiar and that she can trust you. As I do.

I am infinitely grateful. And I'm tired of waiting, but for you I do. For you, I do it all.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

I can no longer grasp a clear thought, because whenever I close my eyes I see everything I have done in review. I can hardly sleep and the nightmares plague me.

I just hope that everything will end soon. It has already been a year since we saw each other. I can't promise you anything, but I hope you know that everything I had to do was for you. For us.

Thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

it's been a few weeks since I've heard from you. I hope you are doing well.

We have found a trail that will take us further.And brings me a little closer to you. And that will bring you back home. I can't wait.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

It's been two months since you wrote to me.

Get back to me as soon as you can.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

Words cannot describe how much I miss you. Or how great the pain in my chest is.

I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can hardly breathe without you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

they hung your picture today. In the portrait you are smiling, proud to finally be part of the team. I can't look at it.

I was sent home, but everything there reminds me of you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

I keep your letters in a small box next to my bed. They are a part of you that I don't want to lose, even though I have already lost you. They are a part of you, just as you are a part of me.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

I went to our bookstore and found a book of poems that you would like. I'll put it with your letters.

No book in the world could have prepared me for the grief I feel. The pain is too engaging for me to talk about it with anyone but you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dear little bear,

it's been almost two years since we last saw each other. I don't remember what you sound like, or what you smell like. Why can't I remember that? Is it wrong of me not to think it's bad? It takes away my pain a little.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dear little bear,

A lot has happened in the two years we've been apart. Too much to ever be able to write down all the things. I just want you to know that this time was not easy for me. Not for any of us.

I put your letters away safely because you will always be important to me. But I have to let you go. And with this, I release you.

I love you. Forever.

With love,

Neruda

-

You pinch your leg to wake up. Your neck is wet with cold sweat and you have to blink several times to realize that you are in a cab. You run your hand through your hair as the driver looks at you curiously through the rearview mirror. He says nothing, which is why you glance out the window.

The drive from the airport to Quantico only takes an hour, but you still take the opportunity to close your eyes for a moment and doze a little. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages, you don't even know what a healthy portion of sleep feels like anymore, because you haven't had that luxury in the last two years.

As the car comes to a stop in front of the FBI building, you pay the driver and get out with your small bag. The building seems much bigger than you remember. You used to spend every day here, it had once been your home. But now you're not even sure you have a home anymore.

You take a deep breath and enter through the large doors, but are directly approached by a security guard.

"Miss? Are you visiting?", he asks suspiciously, extending his arm to keep you at a distance - something that wouldn't do him much good if you were actually trying to get past him.He eyes you up and down, which you can't blame him for. In your ripped jeans, dirty sneakers, and loose sweater, you don't look like someone who belongs here. By now, you don't either.

You look at him. "I'm here to see Unit Chief Prentiss", you reply coolly. You know he's just doing his job, but you're too impatient to let all this wash over you. You know Emily is already in the office. You know her too well not to. Why doesn't he just go get her? You just want to see your friend.

"Chief Prentiss?" He raises an eyebrow. "And what is your request?"

Your gaze is rock hard and your tone cold as ice. "Tell her Y/N Y/L/N is here to see her."

You wait outside the building, letting the morning sun warm your skin and the cigarette burn between your fingers before you put it to your lips and take a drag. Afterwards, you stub it out on a trash can. As you exhale the last bit of smoke, you turn around. And there she is.

Emily is standing at the door, and when you see her, you drop your bag and wrap her in your arms so tightly that you can't breathe. You cling to her, afraid that maybe this whole thing isn't as real as it feels, but you imperceptibly pinch your arm. And she is still with you.

"I thought - they said", she stammers, and it's the first time in your friendship that she's speechless. You hug her even tighter.

"I know", you answer softly, blinking away the tears that have formed in your eyes. The moment is too beautiful to cry. As you break away from each other, Emily wipes her own tears from her cheeks, but some have already landed on her blouse. There are dark stains now.

"I don't even know what to say", she says, smiling at you as you enter the building together. The guard gives you a look, but doesn't ask any questions as you walk past him toward the elevator. Inside, she pushes a button that takes you to the BAU floor. "I can hardly believe you're really here."

Neither can you.

The office is completely silent because no one is here yet except for you. Although nothing has changed, everything has changed because you are now someone else. It's been a long time since you've been here. Two years, but everything in this room is all too familiar to you. The coffee machine, the law books, the files. It feels like you've never been away. It's déjà vu all over again.

While Emily gets you both coffee, you sit down at the round table and wait for her. Your friend sets the cups down on the table before sitting down next to you. She smiles faintly. "How are you?"

You pucker your mouth. How are you? You haven't been asked that question in ages, and to be honest, you don't know how to answer it either. How could you possibly be?

When you don't answer Emily, she phrases her question differently. "What are you feeling right now?"

Your lips become a thin line. "I don't know. It feels like all of this," you point to the room, "isn't a part of me anymore. Nothing has changed, but it still feels foreign."

Emily nods. "You've been through a lot, I guess." She takes a sip of her coffee. "You're right, Y/N. Nothing has really changed here. But you're a different one now, aren't you?"

You open your mouth to answer her, but you don't know what either. Part of you feels at home here, but a bigger part of you knows your place is somewhere else. You just don't know where exactly.

"Do you want to see the others?", Emily asks. "I'm asking you because it's been a long time since you've seen them. And they think you're...you know. Are you ready for that?"

Are you ready for that? You haven't seen either of them in a long time, and it would probably be better not to see them for now, but to let Emily sort it out first. But the team is your family - the closest thing you have to a family. And you've missed them all terribly.

You nod and take a sip of your coffee as JJ and Rossi enter the room. When they see you, they glance uncertainly at Emily, as if they're not sure if it's just imagination, but she nods at them. And that's when all the dams break for JJ.

She pulls you from your chair and hugs you like the salvation of the world depends on it, and David has to pry her cramped arms from you so he can put his around you as well. They affirm to you how much they missed you and ask how you are, wanting to know what happened, but Tara and Penelope join them and that's when it gets too loud for you.

Penelope cries with joy and Tara also can't believe that you are standing in front of her. They besiege you and ask you questions to which you have no answers, so you just smile weakly at them. They definitely don't mean any harm, after all, you've just risen from the dead for them, but you've spent the last while in silence and are no longer used to this volume. So you turn away from them. They look anxiously after you as you sort of flee from them. You hope that this will make the headache go away.

Without paying much attention to where you're going, you find yourself facing the wall where the pictures of the deceased agents hang. And yours is hanging there, too. You don't know how long you've been standing in front of it - minutes? hours? -until a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

"Y/N?"

You turn around and there stands Spencer. His hair is a little shorter and he looks like he's seen a ghost. Well, he sort of has.

You want to throw yourself into his arms, kiss him, and never let him go. Seeing him knocks the air out of your lungs, which is why you can barely breathe. The two years without him had been hell on earth, but you got through them. For him.

For Spencer, who doesn't take his eyes off you as the blonde woman next to him, whose fingers are intertwined with his, looks at him and asks, "Honey, who's that?"

- tags -

@obsssedwithjustaboutanything // @ashwarren32 // @slytherinbth // @rexorangecouny // @candlemouse // @lexymoniqu // @m3sml // @username2002 // @calliecookie // @haylaansmi // @thehuntresswolf // @skyslowalking // @padsfirewhisky // @criminalminds4days // @criminallyoddsocks // @takeyourleap-of-faith // @vladsgirlxx // @justdianaz // @x2moonlight2x-blog // @countingthestarsinfinitely // @box-of-fandom-stuff // @sergeantbuckybarnes // @princesssmooshie // @sassiest-politician // @ littledm2000 // @a-broken-pact // @strawberry-tea // @sassy-hades // @danrad-rdj4ever // @takeyourleap-of-faith // @smell-my-twisted-shadows // @poeticsassandtrash // @wintrrrsoldier // @peaceluvnirvana // @jemimah-b99 // @lokislilslut // @advicefromnixxxx // @panicattheeverywherekid // @my-guilty-pleasures--of-life // @itsdars @pjmjams // @imagine-this-motherfucker // @sasbb23 // @fivedicksinatrenchcoat // @missyoumaybank // @blameitonthenight21 // @s-r-16 // @knee-coall // @hamlewis // @twodirtymindedgirls // @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness // @imdefinitelyfloating // @crazyloca06 // @gardenroses1 // @saspencereid // @enchantedlove90 // @sizzlingclamturtlesludge // @moondustmemories // @bambi-is-my-name // @beg0neth0t420 // @william-shookespeare // @pancake2603 // @ayo-cowbelly // @herbstmelody // @frnks-stuff // @mimischaos // @lilxnvm // @archiveofadragon // @burnin-passion // @oddobsessionbutotay // @chaoticdreamsss // @ghostly-ginger // @knittingstudyblr // @gorbagreb // @biafbunny // @ayo-cowbelly // @ellyseveronica // @saspencereid // @takethee // @ethereal-stark // @shirayuki1204 // @spencerreidspp // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @stinkykay // @exzidss // @ifuckinghatepinapples // @youhaveabadconnection // @kaseyjohnson04 // @vampiracontessa // @princesssmooshie // @gardenroses1 // @r0s3mm // @willyoulovemeinthemorning // @rrtxcmt // @softpeteparker // @littleiswhattheycallme // @hoeyadoingbitch // @emmariexx // @oops-all-ajs / @reidemandweep // @oliwisstephhh // @g0lden-cth // @measure-in-pain // @amesandpineapples // @spencerreidat3am //

[suchalonelysunflower]

Be Alright (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You go on tour with Luke and the boys for the first time, but things don’t go as planned as you try to fit in.

Warnings: Angst with Fluff. Anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem. Language. Hostility. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.9 k

Author’s Note: This fic takes place after the pandemic. It deals with anxiety and panic attacks, but please remember that the symptoms as well as what the person experiences it’s always different, this is just how I see and experience these cases. Please, if you want to learn more about them get informed by a reliable source. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Likes and Feedback are much appreciated and you don’t know how much it helps me! ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🌻🦋✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Picture taken from Pinterest

@theshyspy : (...) So I was wondering if you could write something with Luke or cal (whoever feels most natural?) where the reader just gets really anxious and he takes care of her and calms her down? maybe making sure she eats and/ or drinks enough, that she gets some rest, perhaps he sings for her? Idk just some fluff🤷🏼‍♀️ (It’s totally ok if you don’t want to, or don’t feel comfortable writing it !! I know it can be triggering for some people so just leave it if it bothers you in any way!!🙆🏼‍♀️💕)

The feeling of an ice-cold touch shook you out of your dreamless sleep. You nearly jumped out of your seat before remembering where you were and what you were doing.

The light came through the small window, illuminating your seats and the small aisle that separated you from your friends. The air conditioner was turned off and you made a mental note to thank Luke later, he knew how cold you get on these travels.

Speaking of “Why are your hands so damn cold?!” You scolded your boyfriend as you rub your eyes, trying to wake up and steady your heartbeat from the scare you just got.

Luke just pressed his lips in a thin line, not wanting to laugh at your sudden reaction but also not to smile like an idiot due to your sleepy state. Even after a 15-hour flight you still looked cute as hell in his eyes.

“Sorry, love,” He said with a smile once you looked at him “I was having a drink, and then came time to wake you up. I didn’t notice my hands were cold”

You murmured some gibberish close to an ‘okay’ and yawned “How long was I out?”

Luke cringed “20 minutes”

“What?!”

It was no surprise, you could never sleep well in places that were not a proper bed. You didn’t want to think about how it would be like to sleep in a bunk next to your six-foot-four Australian boyfriend.

“I thought I slept longer” You pouted “Although it didn’t feel like much”

“Another bad dream?” He asked, placing his head on your shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with yours, slowly playing with them.

“A lack thereof, actually,” You said, yawning again “But don’t worry, I’ll sleep when we get to the hotel”

Luke smiled and brought your hands to his lips, softly placing a kiss on your knuckles as you cuddled next to him.

Your heart was beating loud and you hoped he wouldn’t notice, or if he did then he did not say anything and you were grateful. It was stressful enough to travel on tour for the first time and to know that you might bring him down with your anxious overthinking was not doing great with you.

Luckily, your mind grew quiet as Calum popped his head from the seat in front of you.

“Excited for your first tour?” He asked with a grin. He looked brand new, and as you looked around you realized they all do. For a moment there you had to remind yourself that this is what they do for a living.

“Mmh hmm” You hummed, head still placed over Luke’s while you played with his hair “Kinda nervous, though” You admitted.

“Why?” This time it was Ashton the one who asked, popping his head from the seats next to yours as he joined the conversation “It’s going to be fun! Like a big road trip” He chuckled.

“Yeah but-” Your voice was cut out by the pilot who announced over the speakers your arrival at the airport.

You thought about sharing your fears with the boys, given that this was your first time flying across the world with them you didn’t exactly know what to expect and you were scared to find that out in the worst situations. But then, how could they know? After all, how much pressure could they have when they pretty much secured the love of everyone? You, however, were just the girlfriend and it almost felt like you have to earn that place on tour.

The fans will be looking at them but criticizing you. It’s not like it would be your first time dealing with it since you went public with your relationship, God knows it’s not easy dealing with that But it won’t be just them this time, there’s also the paparazzi, the crew, the boys themselves even if they don’t notice; they are all expecting you to be ready and up for it, perfect all the time. Not to mention the stress of traveling and the schedules, the jet lag and the-

Once again your thoughts were put on pause before you could finish overthinking them as you felt Luke shake next to you. You met his gaze but he was looking to the side, trying hard to stiffen his laughter as Ashton dropped an ice cube into Michael's back under his shirt, waking him up with a jump and a mix of curses.

You shook your head and laughed along with them. You should be thankful for having them, after all, they are your friends and they could help you manage all of those pits of anxiety that started to grow. Anything could happen on this tour and, at least you know that you won’t be bored.

Luke helped you with your carry-out and let you walk in front of him, all while placing his hands on the sides of your waist and walking -or actually more like waddling along with you. You giggled as he placed his head on top of yours, making it difficult to walk for the both of you but he wasn’t going to let go. That’s one of the things you love about him; he is never afraid to show his affection and be close to you, almost in a protective manner. You feel safe with him and you know the feeling is mutual.

You laughed with the rest of the boys as you made your way to claim your luggage, joking around and teasing each other much to the annoyance of the other passengers. You felt how Luke’s chest rumbled with laughter, and in the few quiet moments, you got while waiting for your bags he managed to hold you closer and press little kisses around your forehead and cheeks, making you giggle in his tight embrace. You almost forgot how tired you were from the flight.

Almost. But your body had a different plan.

As your bags were taking their sweet time, you could hear the distant voices of the boys drifting away from you. Slowly, you began to drift away too, your eyelids becoming heavy as you struggled to stay up. Soon enough, the notices became a light buzzing sound inside your head.

“Y/N?” Luke asked as he felt you become heavier on his grip “Baby?” He looked down at your face and saw you fight to get your eyes open and failed to do so as they kept shutting without your permission.

He cringed as he saw your tired face, knowing that he was once again tasked with the job of waking you up. If it were up to him, he would’ve carried you in his arms all the way to the van just for you to get some sleep. But it was common for them for fans to welcome them in the airport accompanied by some paparazzi who tried to get a bad shot out of them and, despite his wishes for you to be completely rested and healthy, he needed to wake you up.

“Y/N, are you alright, love?” He asked whispering in your ear, rubbing his hands up and down your arms hoping that in that way he could somehow share some of his energy with you.

You quickly came back to your senses once you felt Luke’s arms leave your waist and hold you by your shoulders and elbows. A red flush covered your face as you realized where you were standing -and almost falling, asleep.

“Y-yeah,” You said, standing up straight as you pull away from his hold, somehow trying to prove your point “I’m just-“

“Tired. Yeah, it’s okay” Luke reassured you as he came closer and wrapped you in his arms by the waist “I was just like you when I experienced my first jet lag. It will go away”

You scoffed “Yeah? In how long?”

“In like four months when we get home” He teased, immediately bursting into laughter when he saw you glare at him.

You slightly punched his chest, mocking anger. But soon enough you found yourself laughing along “I think I just need to eat something”

Luke stopped laughing, replacing his smile with a concerned gaze “Didn’t you eat on the plane?”

“I couldn’t. I tried to eat while you were asleep, but my stomach just rejected the food so I chose to wait until we were on land”

Luke shook his head and was about to say something when Calum interrupted him to give you both your bags.

“Those were the last ones,” He said “We need to get going”

Luke nodded as he watched him walk away, turning to you once he was out of sight.

You could feel his worried stare, but you just smiled at him as you placed your hand on his cheek “Don’t worry love. I can buy something from here and then eat some real food at the hotel if that would make your worries go away”

He just sighed and nodded. You smiled reassuringly at him and brought him closer to peck his lips “Love you”

“Love you, too,” He said with a love fool grin “Ready to start the tour?” He asked excitedly.

You nodded enthusiastically as you grabbed his hand and started walking along with him towards the gates, feeling ready to face up anything.

Well, you weren’t ready to face up to what ensued.

As soon as those gates opened you were bombarded with flashes of cameras and screams from thousands of people.

Fans were gathered outside the airport gates, waiting for their favorite band to arrive. Of course, this led to the paparazzi being there as well, waiting to get an inside scoop of the boys’ first arrival on their world tour after the pandemic.

There were too many people for you to be able to see more than three meters in front of you. All of them were shouting Luke’s name as he tried to make his way out of there and lead you to safety.

You lifted your gaze and saw how he was smiling at the fans, waving with his free hand as his grip on your hand became tighter. Strangers were approaching the both of you very quickly, pushing their way to the front as they asked and demanded a picture of an autograph.

Your personal space was becoming smaller and smaller as they pushed through you, trying to separate you from your boyfriend’s grip. They bumped your shoulder and kicked your sides with elbows and frantic arms. You felt your voice getting drowned out as you called for Luke, hoping that he could hear you over the commotion and come help you out.

It all happened so fast. Luke let go of your hand by accident for just one second as he tried to look back at you. His heart shattered as he struggled to find your eyes in the crowd of pleas and flashing cameras “Y/N?!” He called, trying to appear calm in front of those strangers, but on the inside he was desperate, kicking himself over and over for ever letting go of your hand.

And then, he heard it “Luke!”

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears as people pushed through you to get to him. His eyes filled with regret as he sucked on a breath and walked towards you, easily making his way back as all of the people who were standing there stepped aside to let him through. No one pushed him, no one yelled at him for stepping into their place. No one dared to disrespect him as they disrespected you.

In a matter of seconds, Luke was standing in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. You felt like you could breathe again.

“You okay?” He asked, mumbling as he kissed your head. You heard the faintest “aww” coming from the fans witnessing this little gesture and confusing with something cute instead of what it was: he was shielding you from them, protecting you while comforting you the best he could. Yet, all you could hear was Luke’s beating heart as you hid your face in his chest.

“Let’s get out of here,” Luke said, tensing his whole body as he pulled you to the side, not letting go of his grip to your waist as you walked rapidly towards the exit.

You both ignored the calls and flashed from your surroundings. You could feel your breathing becoming heavier as you tried to keep up with his steps, not really relaxing until you saw the van’s door opening and Calum making space for the both of you.

You jumped inside the car and Luke quickly followed, closing the door and letting out a breath he was holding.

“So…” Ashton said, breaking the silence after they drove away “That was fun. Nothing like a little chaos to start the tour”

For the first time in your life, you wanted to punch his face. Your heart was still beating loudly inside your chest and they were all so calm. It truly seemed like they didn’t care that you just went through one of the scariest experiences of your life.

Yeah, you know you might be exaggerating. But it’s your first flight with the boys, first time in a foreign country, first time with a multitude of fans and photographers where they all pushed you to get to your boyfriend. And they were all fine? Like it wasn’t a big deal? And they say it was fun?

The chattering continued, all three of them talking about the fans they saw and how they reacted to them. Joking around and teasing each other for various reasons. No one noticed how your hands were shaking or how you didn’t say a word since you got up in the car.

You tried to steady your breath and to hide your hands somewhere until they were cool. You still feel a sting where one girl elbowed you, knowing it might leave a bruise. You tried to close your eyes and think about nice things to get you off your mind for a while, but all you could see was how Luke drifted away from you, going farther and farther as you lost sight of him; and no matter how hard you yelled his name, your voice was drowned and lost among all the others.

The tears started to pick up in your eyes and you held them back as hard as you could. You needed to be strong, this is just the first stop of the tour and you needed to toughen up if you want to keep up. You just hoped you could do it before anyone noticed it.

Luke was sitting beside you, not participating in the conversation of his bandmates, but rather he was looking at you and how your leg bounced up and down in a rapid motion.

He knew your mind must be going ten miles per hour at this moment. You weren’t used to this whole lifestyle and for that to be your first experience must be nerve-wracking. He wished he could just erase all those bad feelings and bring you the comfort you deserve.

“Hey,” He finally said, softly enough for you to hear as he leaned closer to you. Your eyes quickly snapped in his direction, finding some kind of peace in his baby blue eyes “Are you okay?”

He knew the answer was no, but he also knew you would never admit that, so it was no surprise when you smiled at him and nodded. Only this time the smile didn’t reach your eyes like they always do.

“You know just… a bit tired, that’s all,” You said, not wanting to worry him. But it was a little bit late for that and you noticed that the instant he furrowed his brows and gave you the ‘I know you’re lying’ look.

“Are you sure? Because that out there was pretty crazy and-“

“I’m fine, Luke” You reassured him, scooting closer to him and leaning against his frame. He immediately rounded his arm around your shoulder and started drawing circles on your skin with his thumb “I don’t really want to talk about it right now. I just need you close for a while, is that okay?”

Luke sighed and held you tighter “Yeah, of course, love. Whatever you need. You should try to get some sleep, I’m sorry we couldn’t buy you anything to eat back in the airport”

You look around you. All the boys were singing and joking around, not paying attention to you and Luke; making it difficult for you to just drift back to sleep.

“No, don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ll eat and sleep when we get to the hotel”

You watched the scenery pass by as the car drove you to your destination. You tried to focus on the conversations going around you, but you were too distracted by the beauty of it all.

It amazed you how after such a scary experience could come such comfort; you were surrounded by your best friends and your lover, experiencing new things and memories you knew you needed to treasure forever.

From time to time you could feel Luke staring at you, almost like he wanted to make sure you were okay and you would reassure him with soft smiles and little pecks on the cheeks as the other guys reminisced about their previous times abroad.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop and you found yourselves parked in a huge parking lot. You looked at Luke with a confused expression and he did the same. You didn’t know where you were.

“Uh, why are we stopping?” He asked as Calum and Ashton opened their doors and stepped out of the van.

“Because we are here?” Michael asked, not getting his friend’s confusion.

“This is the hotel?” You asked.

“This is the venue…” Michael said, pulling a lever so he could push Calum’s seat out of the way and step outside “We are not going to the hotel till tonight”

“What?!” Luke half asked, half yelled.

“Yeah, dude. We’re behind schedule so we need to do a quick soundcheck and then hop in the car and go do a couple of interviews in radio stations… did you not read the email?”

Luke facepalmed himself “No…” He lamented as he rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, then he looked at you with apologetic eyes “Oh my god, Y/N. I’m so sorry, love”

“It’s okay, Luke” It was not okay, you really wanted to take a nap and a shower before the show. But you couldn’t have avoided this at any cost and it wasn’t his fault at all, so there was no need to bring him down because of this.

“No! Of course, it’s not okay. You need to rest and eat a proper meal. This is it fair to you and I’m so sorry”

You could tell that he was kicking himself inside his head and you hated to see him all worked up and anxious. It broke your heart to see him so frustrated with himself.

Your palms cupped his face and made him look at you “Luke, baby. It’s fine, I promise. It will be fun! Plus, I can always nap on the couch” But he didn’t look conceived at all “I’ll be fine”

He sighed “Promise you will eat something there? And drink some water?”

You nodded with a smile “I promise. Now go! You have a soundcheck to kill” You winked at him and pecked his lips before jumping out of the van.

“What would I do without you?”

*

After the quick soundcheck, the boys changed clothes and got ready for an afternoon filled with interviews and quick appearances. It was going to be a wild ride, so you opted out of staying in the venue until they got back.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Luke asked for the tenth time.

“Of course she will!” Intervened Ashton “She’s Y/N/N, she can take care of herself”

You rolled your eyes at him and stared back at your boyfriend “I’ll be fine, love. I’ll just stay right here and maybe I’ll take a nap”

“And you know where the catering room is?”

You certainly didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that right now. You would manage well enough.

“Yes, dad” You teased

“Y/N!” Luke mocked a shocked expression “Not in front of the boys!”

You scoffed and lightly pushed him in the chest “You pig! Not everything has to be dirty!”

“You started it!”

“Go!” You laughed, kissing him one last time “Give your fans some content”

You saw the four of them walk through the door and you let out an exhausted breath. This is the first time you allowed yourself to relax since you boarded the plane almost 24 hours ago and you were beyond tired at this point.

How did they do it? Fly across the world and still look like superstars, what kind of deal did they make, and with whom?

You looked around the green room, your eyes landing on your reflection. You physically cringed at the image in front of you; dark heavy bags rested under your eyes and your hair, although pulled back, seemed oily and tangled in knots; your clothes had wrinkles in them and you seriously regretted sending your luggage directly to the hotel, leaving you with this shirt, a hoodie, and your black jeans.

A sigh escaped your lips as you tried to think of nice things; things that would keep your mind out of overthinking every single detail that has gone wrong since the minute you left home. How were you supposed to prove that you belong on the tour if you couldn’t even handle the first day? You needed to gain your energy back before the guys came back, and what better medicine than a little nap?

You moved Ashton’s heavy bag from one corner of the couch and laid on your back, but the awaited relief never came. You tossed and turned in different positions, hissing every time the warm leather glued itself to your skin only for it to be peeled off with every movement.

The sounds from outside of the room grew louder as the crew hurried to put everything in its place on time for the show. People were running in and outside the green room, not paying attention to you laying on the couch trying to find an ounce of sleep as they focused on their tasks.

You don’t know how long it’s been and, honestly, you’re afraid to ask. It was clear that you were not going to get any sleep here, not while everyone’s acting frantic because of a scheduling mishap and not while your mind is still preoccupied trying to keep up instead of relaxing as Luke told you to do.

You tried one last time to get at least a five-minute nap, but it was almost impossible. You opened your eyes with a groan and got up, so frustrated that you didn’t even feel the burn on your skin when you separated yourself from the uncomfortable couch.

The second your feet touched the ground and you lifted yourself on your feet, everything started to spin. You felt how your blood seemed to have disappeared from your body, leaving only a carcass that couldn’t stand for itself, making you fall on your ass back into the couch.

You felt nauseous, but the growling in your stomach reminded you that you haven’t eaten in all day. You had to eat something before you passed out, but the mere thought of eating made you feel even dizzier if that was possible.

You counted to ten, ignoring the way your head pounded with loud warnings and stood up. It took you a few seconds to find your balance again, but once you started walking you felt like you couldn’t stop.

You got out of the room, not really knowing where the catering was but you were determined to get there. You couldn’t let Luke and the rest see you like that, so weak and pathetic. It’s just day one and you are already passing out? How stupid is that!

The loud bangs in your head increased with every step you took, soon becoming voices that screamed inside your mind, drowning every ounce of clarity you might have; turning to the right and then to the left, then to the end of the hallway and back to the right. Did you even know where you were going?

Did you even know why you were here?

It was bound to happen, sooner or later, that Luke would ask you to accompany him on tour. Bet he is regretting that decision now. You tried, you really tried to be the supporting girlfriend, but how could you be of any support when you were the one who needed it? He didn’t come here to be your nanny and yet all he’s done is worry about you! You should be able to take care of yourself, yet you can’t even do that for him.

What a terrible girlfriend you were. He will surely break up with you and send you back home on the next flight. He didn’t need this kind of energy, this cloud of darkness you were becoming, ready to drown out his light with your problems. If only you could do better for him. For Luke.

Luke, the simple thought of him brought you to the brink of tears. You loved him so much, so much that it hurt to love him yet at the same time it was the best comfort in the world just to be standing by his side. You wanted to be by his side and never let go, but you were pushing away from him. Your mind and meaningless needs were separating you from him, telling you that he deserves someone better, more equipped to handle the lifestyle you weren’t ready for.

He is the brightest star in the universe and you are just a firefly, trying hard to be something you’d never be and everyone can see it. The fans see it, the media sees it and even your friends will someday. They will realize that you were nothing more than a girl who just hoped she could be enough but ended up becoming one more burden to carry with.

You couldn’t survive out here, not right now, and not without Luke. You are falling and you feel like if you stay you might drown him with you. You were disappointing him right now, pacing around the-

Where the fuck were you?

The voice inside your head died down as you didn’t recognize the place where you were standing.

You were supposed to be on your way to catering, and you were… but you didn’t know where it was and now you don’t know where you are.

Great.

The screams of the fans reverberated through the walls of the narrow hallway, you only now realize that the doors must be open and the show is about to start. You brought a hand to your back pocket, thinking about calling Luke and telling him your situation and asking him how to get to where they were. But your pockets were flat and your phone was nowhere to be seen, you must’ve left it in the greenroom.

“Fuck!” You yelled, voice hoarse from not having drunk anything since this morning. You looked to your left and there was just a blank wall staring back at you with no way out. You thought about going back, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were heading, so you risked the fact of getting more lost before someone could find you.

Fuck it.

You turned around and started walking, faster and faster. You were almost jogging through the deserted hallways trying to find your way back. You were panicking with every turn, every curve. To the right, then left, then a left, and a right again. You could hear the faintest riff of a guitar, so you speed up your pace. Your exhaustion had nothing compared to the fear in the pit of your stomach, you needed to get back. You needed to be there for Luke, to find your way back.

The desperation you held inside made you ignore the tears that were spilling out of your eyes without permission. You didn’t want to be alone anymore in a place you don’t know. You are sure your mind is playing tricks on you, making the hallways longer and the seconds everlasting, constantly repeating in your head how you were nothing more than a little lost girl who was playing something she shouldn’t. Something she wouldn’t ever be.

People passed you as you turned around corners, your heart beating loud as you recognized some faces from the crew, getting closer and closer to where you were supposed to be.

And finally, you arrived.

You let out a breath, you didn’t know if it was from relief or just a way to drown out the sob that was threatening to come out. You made a move to open the door but you noticed your hands were shaking. A cold feeling ran through your body, making you shiver as you wiped your sweaty palms on the front of your jeans. You were so close but why did you feel so far away? Drifting and drifting further and further….

What was happening?

“Y/N?”

You heard your name being called by a familiar voice. You lifted your head and saw Michael standing at the door of the green room, his eyes scanning you carefully. You swore you could see a hint of fear in them. He quickly moved out of the way, opening the door wider so you could step in.

You lifted your gaze, your teary eyes meeting Luke’s as he stood in the middle of the room, pacing back and forward with his phone in his hand, gripping it so tightly you thought it might crack.

“There you are!” He said, pressing a button on his screen. He was smiling, relief visible on his features as his eyes took you in “I’ve been looking for you, the opening band already started playing and- Y/N?”

Suddenly, everything stopped. Luke’s eyes denoted fear as he saw you collapse to your knees the moment you stepped into the room. He saw everything happen in slow motion: the way you wrapped your arms around your stomach; the shaking of your entire frame as you let out a heavy breath mixed with a sob; and the tears in your eyes as you tried to make sense of what was happening to you.

He acted fast. In one swift move, he was kneeling in front of you, taking you in his arms as he pulled you closer to his chest “She’s having a panic attack!” He said, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, but none of his friends moved as they were still shocked by the image of you falling into the ground.

“Michael!” He called, remembering that people act better in an emergency if given direct orders “Go find a doctor. Ashton, bring her something to eat. And Calum, find water and soda. She’s dehydrated and needs some sugar”

All three of them didn’t think twice before jumping out of their seats and running through the halls to find those things for you. But you couldn't hear any of that.

“I’m sorry,” You cried, over and over again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Shh, love” Luke cooed, lifting you and sitting back down on the couch, placing you on his lap as he rocked you back and forwards “It’s okay love. Nothing to be sorry for, I’m here. I’m here”

You kept crying into his chest, struggling to breathe as every sob seemed to tear your throat in two. You knew Luke was touching you, but you couldn’t feel his hands anywhere as you shook through your cries.

“Baby- Y/N, listen to me. Okay?” He said with a calming voice, completely contrasting how he was feeling inside “Listen to my voice, baby. Breathe with me, okay? One,” He inhaled deeply, his finger tracing a line up your back so you could follow him “Two” He exhaled, bringing his finger down “Good, do that again, please? One, two”

He was trying so hard not to panic along with you. Seeing you so frail in his arms made his heart break into a million pieces. He didn’t know what was going on in your mind or why or what you were apologizing for. All he knows is that he would do anything not to hear your broken cries again, so desperate and hopeless. He would do anything to make sure you are alright and safe.

You imitated Luke’s breathing pattern as close as you could. Breathing in and out every time he asked until you could feel his finger running up and down your spine, his touch finally bringing some comfort to your body and mind as they recognized him. They recognized home.

Your cries died down the moment Michael stepped through the door accompanied by a nurse, Ashton, and Calum who all brought some type of food and drink to lay down on the table.

Luke made some space so the nurse could sit down next to you, but he never once let go of you or stopped moving his finger on your back. He needed you to know that he was still here and he was not going anywhere.

“She seems good,” The nurse said after quickly giving you a check-up “It was just a panic attack. You did well in calming her down” He said to Luke, giving him a pat on the back “I’m gonna leave here some pills for her to take once she eats and drinks something, these will help with the body ache and headache she will feel later and also will help her sleep”

The four men thanked the nurse as Michael closed the door again. All eyes were fixed on you as you rested your head on Luke’s shoulder, eyes closed as your breathing became even and lighter again.

“Is that-? Is that a half-eaten burger?” Calum asked, pointing to the table filled with foods and drinks, and breaking the silence that had set upon them.

“I panicked!” Ashton answered.

“Could you guys give us a moment, please?” Luke asked, eyes never leaving your face as he held you closer. His friends nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, bub,” You said, voice broken and soft.

You slowly opened your eyes and suddenly felt like crying again when you met Luke’s gaze. Surprised at the fact that he didn’t seem angry; all you could see in his eyes was a relief.

“Why are you sorry, love?” He asked, voice as soft as yours as he caressed your cheeks with the back of his free hand “You have nothing to apologize for. These things happen and we can’t really avoid them”

“No,” You said, pushing away from him as you separated from his lap and went to sit on the spot next to him.

Luke’s heart broke at your actions, but it completely shattered when he saw the tears picking up in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry for ruining everything” Your voice broke as you started talking “I’m sorry for being one more burden in this tour that hasn’t even started yet. Look at me! Not even a day in and I’m already falling apart! This is not what you expected of me, Luke and don’t try to deny it. I’ve disappointed you, the band, myself-”

“You did not do such a thing” He tried to say, but you weren’t listening.

“Maybe I’m not meant for this” Your words took his breath right out of his mouth, he didn’t like where this conversation was going “Maybe I’m better off at home. At least there I’m not embarrassing myself in airports or with your fans or with your bandmates and crew- I want to be someone you would be proud of but all I do is overthink every little thing that I forget the rest. I tried so hard to keep up, to prove to you and the others and even myself that I could belong here on tour; that I could live this life with ease as you all do and I just keep failing everyone. I love you, Luke. But I can’t stand the thought of slowing you or pulling you down with me, and you don’t deserve to be tied up with some mess like me-”

Your words were cut off by Luke’s lips clashing with yours. It took you a minute to respond and kiss him back, letting all your worries slip away for only one minute. Only one minute where you could pretend that everything was alright.

Luke pulled away first, placing his forehead against yours “You uplift me, Y/N”

“What?”

He cupped your cheeks, making you look at him as he spoke with such care and love.

“You could never bring me down, you are the one keeping me above the water, my love. I deserve to be with you as much as you deserve to be right here with us”

“Luke-”

“It’s my fault,” He said with a sad voice, you opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it “Don’t try to deny it, Y/N. It’s true. I should’ve prepared you more for what was coming instead of throwing you into the lion's den without a single warning. I knew from the moment I saw your face in the crowd back at the airport that I had failed you, not the other way around. But you stayed, you pulled through and told me that it was okay when it clearly wasn’t. Y/N, you are stronger than any of us and much more caring and loving… I’m so proud of you and that I get to call you to mine that sometimes I can’t even believe it”

He carefully wiped a tear from your cheek, his heart fluttering with joy at seeing you smile back at him “I love you. And if you say that you are not ready for this, then I will book you a flight tonight. I don’t want to see you in pain, my love, even if you try to hide it. I couldn’t stand the thought of being the one who breaks you” He took a moment, thinking over his words “But if you decide to stay. I promise you I will make every single minute of it worth it. I’ll protect you better. I’ll do my best to take care of you the same way you take care of me. You’re my angel, Y/N. And I need you close”

Tears were falling down your eyes again as you pulled him closer into a hug. Luke quickly swung your legs over his lap and held you as tight as he could, almost fearing that you would slip off his embrace if he ever let you go.

You could hear him mumbling something as he rocked the two of you back and forwards again, this time to comfort you both. You pulled your head slightly from his chest so you could hear him better, he was singing the words from “Still”, your favorite Niall Horan’s song.

”Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright”

You always loved when he sang to you, always bringing you the sense of peace you so much needed.

But as you cuddled closer you noticed that not only was he singing, but you could also hear the guitar, the melody, the crowd…

Luke noticed your confusion and chuckled “I asked the opener to cover this song for us; for you. Wanted to surprise you on your first day”

You swore your smile couldn’t get bigger if you tried. Your eyes filled with tears as you chuckled “Well,” You said, sniffing as you knocked your forehead to his “I can’t wait to see what other surprises you got for the rest of the tour”

Luke’s eyes sparkled with the happiness of a little boy on Christmas day “You’re staying?”

You nodded “As long as you want me to”

“Forever, then” He smiled before connecting your lips with his once again. Letting go of all your worries, for all you could feel was love.

*

The concert was going great. You were convinced this was their best show up to date, but you were saying that since the tour began two months ago.

Luke stayed true to his promise of making everyday worth it. Although you knew that every day that you woke up next to him, whether it was in a bunk or a plane or a hotel bed, that it was worth more than enough. You were home, wherever you went, as long as you had him.

You smiled, laughed, and danced along with the songs on your side of the stage, looking proudly at your boyfriend who lived to do what he loved. But your favorite moment of the night was this; seconds before he started their next song, he would look for your eyes backstage and once he’s found you, he would smile at you and say.

“This is ‘Lover of mine’, everyone. Sing with your heart”

*

Tags : @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (June 2/2021) - Self-Care and Reconciliation

Fundy tries some speedy self-care to follow Quackity’s directions of “finding himself.”

Foolish finds out about the supreme fridge and isn’t pleased. 

Antfrost seeks out Foolish, Bad and Puffy to find peace and make amends after what happened with the Egg. 

---

VOD LINKS:

Philza

Tubbo

Fundy

Foolish

Eret

Captain Puffy

Antfrost

Michaelmcchill

---

- Phil works on the basement some more

- Tubbo works on his outpost

- Tubbo comes over to the Arctic and visits Phil in his basement to “spy” on him 

- They go to Tubbo’s outpost and Tubbo asks if Phil would like to make a TNT canon with him. Phil sees Las Nevadas 

- Tubbo’s a changed person since he tried to kill Phil’s friend, and now he and Phil are on good terms!

- Tubbo and Phil start attempting to wrangle a Ghast together for the outpost

- A few days ago, Quackity told Fundy that he could have a plot of land in Las Nevadas under certain circumstances, and Fundy has a choice to join the nation or not

- When he and Quackity spoke, Quackity said that this plot of land can be his if Fundy can find himself. Fundy needs to fix what’s broken

- Living in the middle of nowhere away from other people isn’t good, so today, Fundy wants to take care of himself and become a better person

- Fundy’s snow fox is outside, but Fundy decides to let him roam for the time being

- Fundy goes outside and creates a board with signs: 

FUNDY’S PLAN TO BECOME BETTER MAN:

Healthy diet! fish, steak, vegetables, fruit, dary, grains

Take care of himself. be able to cut down tree fast

mine diamonds

be able to accept therapy say “im okay with therapy”

good friends, get 3 people to say im a friend

sleep

take care of pet :)

learn to count

- He sets up a timer to do these eight things, and once it starts, he immediately runs off to fix his diet

- Fundy fetches some cod from the sea and spots Tubbo’s outpost in the distance. Curious, he goes over -- if someone lives there, that can go towards his friend goal

- Seeing that Tubbo isn’t online, Fundy messages Phil instead. He asks if they are friends, and Phil just asks what he wants. After a lot more pressing, Phil says they are friends! Fundy is his grandson, after all

- Phil asks if Fundy is safe. Fundy is overjoyed that he cares about his safety, and counts that as two friends! Fundy says he should come by to play cards sometimes, and Phil likes the idea

- To himself, Fundy whispers: “You are a friend and you are appreciated and worth something. You are cool. You are special. You are loved.” 

He counts this as the final friend, and has now completed one goal!

- He creates a small patch of dirt and plants wheat, then goes mining for diamonds

- Fundy chops some trees and returns to his house

- On his bed, he psyches himself up and musters up the courage to say something

Fundy: “I...accept...and am okay...with...”

(he struggles to say the last word)

Fundy: “I accept and am okay with...therapy. I accept and am okay with THERAPY!”

- He then goes outside and learns to count by killing zombies

- After that, he has to go find his pet snow fox. He asks a nearby Enderman where he is

- Fundy and the Enderman go searching together

- Fundy can’t find the fox. He keeps searching around the forest, until he comes back towards his house and finally finds the fox sleeping on a nearby hill

- With all his other goals done, there is only one remaining: sleep.

- He goes to his bed, hesitates...

...and sleeps.

(This is a set up for next stream)

- Foolish returns to his summer home from Las Nevadas and finds the WAR sign, confused. He then notices the disappearance of the supreme fridge

- He reads the war note left in the chest for Ponk and is outraged. That fridge was his gift! Of all the buildings that have been built here, the fridge was the one thing he allowed

- There will be consequences, but as Foolish will be gone for a bit, he can’t do anything now. 

- Foolish begins to go through the stages of grief, mourning the fridge, before leaving a note:

---

You destroyed my fridge. It was my gift from Ponk. The one structure that was built for me on this server was destroyed. Once I go through the 5 stages of grief...I will then add on a bonus stage.......REVENGE

---

- He kills one of the L’Sandburg citizen llamas to send a message

- Foolish goes to the main area and visits Eret’s fortress, noticing the totem statue Eret made in mourning. He changes the sign to simply say “in honor of Foolish” instead

- While working on his pyramid some more at the summer home, Foolish notices Antfrost just over the hill. Ant comes over, seeking to apologize for killing Foolish

Foolish: Listen Ant. From the very start I blamed the egg. And I don’t believe the REAL Antfrost killed me. Nice to see some blue eyes as well

Ant: but we didn’t listen to your warnings, we had our chances and we betrayed you and our friends. I wouldn’t blame you if you killed me right here

- Foolish doesn’t. He tells Ant that he’s moving on. 

- Ant asks if there’s any way to make it up to him, and Foolish says he could use some help gathering sand (Antfrost finds sand tasty, but Foolish doesn’t eat sand. It has too many calories)

- The two gather sand together

Foolish: I hold nothing against you

Ant: thank you

Foolish: Honestly I think the banquet has changed me for the better

Ant: how so

Foolish: It has given me new found strength. Basically from here on out...I’ll be less timid to take action

Ant: well at least something good came out of it

Foolish: So how about you Antfrost, what’s next for the old sly cat

Ant: I need to talk to Puffy and Bad and Sam and everyone I’ve wronged

- Ant asks if Foolish has seen Puffy anywhere, whether there’s something he can give her as a peace offering. She likes llamas

- Foolish thanks Ant for his help. Ant says if Foolish needs anything, to let him know. Foolish looks forward to happier times

- Puffy comes on later and finds the book Foolish left in the chest. She reads it, but she still thinks getting rid of the fridge was better for the aesthetic, and she had to get back at Ponk

- She writes another letter, this time to Foolish, titled “To my sharkyson”:

---

Dear Foolish!

It was not my intention to make you sad or angry! I didn’t know you cared so much for the fridge as well. it was kinda ugly and it stood out so much from the rest of the builds! But I assure you I’m not allied with Bad, my whole goal behind L’llamaburg was to keep an eye on Bad so he didn’t build any further on your land or cause you more problems.

Once Bad was gone I fully intended to disband l’llamaburg and tear it down!

Sorry for any sadness I may of caused.. you don’t need a fridge though to be reminded of how Supreme you are!

---

- Ant is at the animal sanctuary. Everything’s been destroyed, but at least Floof is still alive

- He saves Asshole the fish from suffocating out of the water and puts the fish back in the aquarium

- Ant goes looking for Bad. They need to talk

- They meet at the Community House. Bad hasn’t seen Ant in a while, he hasn’t been around. Bad asks if Ant is okay, and Ant doesn’t know. He died

- Ant asks what happened. Bad says things didn’t work out according to plan. Ant remembers Quackity coming in at the Banquet...

Ant: “Bad, what did we do? I killed Foolish...”

- Bad says stuff happens and he doesn’t think anyone would blame Ant

Ant: “Bad, I killed him! What do you mean you don’t think anyone blames -- Bad, we’re monsters! Do you know what we did?”

Bad: “W-well, I try not to think about it!”

Ant: “Well you can’t just ignore -- you can’t act like we didn’t do -- Bad, I killed Foolish, we were gonna kill E-- oh my god, Eret’s on the server too.”

- Bad thinks it’s fine, Foolish will recover and Puffy killed Ant but it was one for one. Ant remembers all the horrible things he said to Puffy before he killed Foolish and asks where Bad went afterwards

- Bad had no choice but to run. He couldn’t save Ant, they were outnumbered

Ant: “...Do you not feel bad about anything? Bad, we’re...we’re mon-- we did horrible things!”

Bad: “Well I mean, yeah, you did do some horrible stuff...”

Ant: “No, YOU! You did some horrible stuff! Who pushed Skeppy into lava, Bad? Who betrayed their friends? We betrayed Sam, Bad!”

Bad: “Okay, we did some horrible stuff -- hey, no! Okay, but -- there were good reasons at the time, or we felt like there was!”

Ant: “No! No no, Bad, we let the Egg control us! No! Did the Egg give you what it promised?”

Bad: “No, ‘cause...we never completed the plan...whatever it was. Ant, I can’t remember exactly...it’s not -- look, it’s -- I don’t know...”

- Ant asks if he’s talked to Sam and Puffy yet. Bad’s trying not to think about it, but Ant says they can’t ignore this. They’re friends, they should make amends

- Ant asks if Bad’s been back down there, but Bad’s steered clear. Ant is feeling normal again

Ant: “I...Bad, do you not...We’re fucked up! We did horrible things! Our friends tried to stop us, and we didn’t listen! We didn’t do anything!”

Bad: “There’s a lot of ‘we’ going on here...”

- Bad points out Ant didn’t really say anything. Ant accuses him of blaming him

Bad: “No, I’m just saying that...if the collar fits!”

- Ant says they both did horrible things, they dragged Hannah in, Punz too and Ponk. Bad hasn’t checked up on those three since. It doesn’t seem like Bad feels bad. Ant’s been gone because he felt ashamed

- If there’s anybody that they’ve hurt the most, it’s Sam. They were the Badlands

- Bad says they were brainwashed. He knows it’s not an excuse, that they should still own up to it even if they weren’t fully to blame

- They both killed one person each. Ant accuses Bad of putting the blame on him again and says that Bad killing Skeppy was worse because they’re platonic soulmates

- Ant wants an apology for letting him die and leaving him. Bad didn’t do anything, he just watched Ant die. Bad was caught off guard. On the other hand, maybe it was a good thing that Ant died, since otherwise they would’ve killed more people

- Ant says they should own up. Bad apologizes for letting Puffy kill Ant. He should have protected Ant, not just from Puffy but from the Egg too. Ant forgives Bad and says sorry for not protecting Bad from the Egg either

- Seeing as Puffy’s online, Ant suggests they go look for her. Bad says he’ll talk to Puffy later. Ant asks about Skeppy -- Bad talked to Skeppy right after what happened, but he hasn’t seen Skeppy since. They had a bit of a confrontation

- Ant wonders if Sam will forgive them. The Badlands wouldn’t be the same without him. He leaves Bad

- Puffy comes down the Prime Path and meets Antfrost face-to-face. The two have a bit of an awkward greeting

- Puffy reminds him of what happened. He doesn’t know how to apologize, but he says sorry. For saying awful things, for killing Foolish. He doesn’t expect her to forgive him, but he apologizes for what he did

- Puffy says it wasn’t right that she killed him, even though she was acting defensively, and she apologizes as well. Ant didn’t deserve to die either, he was blinded by the Egg. She holds Bad more to blame -- Antfrost talked to him recently

- Puffy forgives Ant. She asks how Bad handled it, and Antfrost says Bad is full of guilt and is hoping he can just forget about it

- Bad hasn’t apologized to Puffy, but Ant says he’ll get around to talking to everyone. Puffy made a burner Twitter account to hate on Badboyhalo and if she doesn’t get an apology, she might have to use it

- About L’Sandburg, Ant says he was there for like five minutes, but he doesn’t know what’s been happening since

Puffy: “Ant, you have to be your own person, Ant. He always uses you as his little pet to do things for you, and you murdered a man now because of it, because of Bad.”

Bad uses Antfrost to do things. Why didn’t Bad kill Foolish himself? Why was Antfrost thrown under the bus?

- She tells Ant that he needs to stand up for himself. She had to watch so many “RIP that pussy” and “Why’d you have to kill my cat” edits, it was the worst timing

- Puffy messages Bad asking if he’s apologized to Ant. They spot Bad nearby and walk over to confront him. He’s selling arrows

- Bad says he said sorry for letting Ant die, but Ant wants an apology for Bad making him do everything. Bad says they were both just following the Egg’s orders, that Ant had a grudge against Foolish -- but Ant says he didn’t, that Bad said he had to kill people

- Bad says sorry, but the Egg just wanted it that way. They accuse him of making excuses. Bad apologizes to Antfrost for making him kill Foolish, and the two hug

- Bad and Skeppy had a disagreement after the Red Banquet, and he has to check up with him to make sure he’s okay

- Bad says sorry to Puffy for what they did while under the Egg’s influence. Puffy was told that they were turning a new leaf, letting bygones be bygones so many times that if she took a shot every time she was told that, she would get alcohol poisoning

- Bad says sorry for everything to both of them, from the bottom of his heart. Puffy accepts to be the bigger person. They’ve always been a trio, always been friends, and now that the Egg’s no longer here, she’ll let it slide

- They do a group hug

- After some chatting, Puffy accuses Bad of having a Wattpad account to write Skephalo fanfiction and they continue talking about Skeppy’s merch boxes

- Michael joins the call! They all hang out together

- Later on, Eret and Foolish join in as well! 

- A while after, they all go over to Ponk’s stairway to heaven to finally destroy it

(The build dates back to at least early July, possibly June, of 2020)

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[sserpente]

A/N: Request from @wrenstrange! Put up the decorations, it’s finally time again! Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 1957 Warnings: pure fluff, blood sample/needle/syringe, soft!Loki, fatique, fainting

You dropped like a piece of wood right about when you were making yourself a cup of tea in the kitchen. Knees ceasing to support you any longer, vision darkening, stars dancing around you making you dizzy. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and before you knew it, your body finally won and shut down.

Although if you could have chosen, you would not have fallen straight into Loki’s arms whose reflexes caught you, preventing you from hitting the hard floor beneath you. He cradled you with his brows furrowed, his blue gaze almost helpless as he looked at Thor and Stark for support.

Then, everything went black.

-

“Welcome back.” You blinked, the artificial lights above your head blinding you. A hand held you down when you attempted to sit up drowsily. Bruce was leaning against a metal table in Tony’s lab, hands crossed before his chest and with a concerned expression on his face. “You blacked out,” he explained, “out of the blue.”

“How are you feeling?” Tony added.

You only realised then that it was Loki who had held you down. He was sitting on a chair right next to the makeshift bed they had carried into Tony’s lab and he was observing you with Argus eyes. Your heart sped up when you noticed. You usually tended to avoid the God of Mischief at all cost. There was a part of you that was afraid of him after watching him making an entire crowd kneel in Stuttgart, the other was hands down swooning over him. It had all started when he had rescued a cat from a tree, honouring a cliché he had not even been aware of. But someone who helped defenceless little kittens had to have a soft heart deep down, no?

Thor had brought him to Earth along with him after Asgard had been destroyed. He could not exactly be considered an Avenger but he had long surpassed the villain image… at least, to some extent. Well, you were no Avenger either. You used to be a SHIELD intern and then somehow ended up with the superheroes themselves. Apart from some basic fighting skills and the ability to use a gun, you had been trained to spend most of your time in front of a computer, often working twelve hours or even more a day. What did they say? Evil never sleeps.

“Any idea what might have caused this?” Bruce continued.

You shook your head. “No. But I’ve been having migraines and a persistent fatigue that just won’t go away.”

“I see… anything else?”

“Um…”

“You can talk to us, (Y/N).”

“Well, I… I’ve been dizzy a lot lately but that sometimes happens during my special week of the month so I didn’t think anything of it.” You took a deep breath but hesitated.

“And?”

“I’ve been sweating way more when working out. Like, a lot more. Instead of making progress… I feel like I’m getting weaker every day. It’s frustrating.”

“Uh-huh. I’m taking a blood sample. FRIDAY will run a couple of tests on you to figure out what’s wrong.”

“What? No! Nothing’s wrong! We don’t need a b-blood sample.”

“No one faints for no reason, (Y/N), especially not on Loki.” Loki rolled his eyes but did not leave your side, even when Bruce started fiddling around with some gear and apparently, a first-aid kit and then approached you with a syringe and a small clear vial.

“I’ve done this a million times before, I’ll be gentle.”

“No! No, no blood test, Bruce, please!” Almost hysterically, you moved back on the bed, your heart in your mouth.

“(Y/N),” Loki suddenly said calmly. You shivered when he spoke your name, his head tilted slightly. “Are you afraid of needles?”

“N-n-no…” You lied. Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Look at me.” He said. Hesitating only a little, you did as you were told. It wasn’t like his tone allowed any contradiction anyway. In fact, it reminded you a lot of his strict and bossy tone when he had caused chaos in Germany. “It has to be done. Hold my hand and do not take your eyes off of me.”

“Who are you and what you have done to Reindeer Games?” Tony tossed in, throwing the Trickster a suspicious glance. Loki rolled his eyes once more. As if he had any obligation to explain himself to Stark of all people.

In the meantime, you were panicking even more. Loki was being nice and considerate with you and Bruce was about to pierce your skin with a needle. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck… your breathing sped up.

“Look. At. Me.” Loki repeated. You obeyed this time, allowing him to take your hand and press it gently. Much to your surprise, it immediately calmed you down a little. You gaped at him unbelievingly. You didn’t even feel the needle going into your skin and drawing blood. Wait… was he casting a spell on you?

“There. All done.” You could not bring yourself to look where Bruce brought your blood sample but when both Tony and he stepped away and turned their backs on you, you swallowed.

“T-thank you…” You had to ask—not because you did not think he was not capable of offering his help without seeking a personal advantage and not because you didn’t think he was too evil to even think about being selfless… but because you were genuinely curious about his motivation. Loki did nothing without a reason, he was always one step ahead. “You put a spell on me, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “Why… why did you do that for me?”

“We are all afraid of something.” It was the only response he gave you. For a few moments, you merely sat there quietly, neither of you uttering a single word. Only when Bruce and Tony returned did you realise that Loki was still holding your hand.

“Okay… I’ve got the results from your blood test and FRIDAY couldn’t find anything suspicious.” Tony announced, scrolling on his tablet. Bruce adjusted his glasses to take a peek.

“You said you’ve been feeling tired? You sweat a lot, you get dizzy, and I’m presuming you barely have an appetite?”

“I don’t have time to eat a lot to be honest…” You confirmed.

“Any concentration problems?”

Pressing your lips together to a thin line, you thought about it for a moment. Now that he mentioned it… it had gotten obnoxiously hard to focus on your work lately. Eventually, you nodded.

“Sounds like severe exhaustion to me.” Bruce said. “Do you have issues with low blood pressure or diabetes or any other medical condition? No, FRIDAY would have found something like that. You know what I think? You overworked yourself.”

“Like… a burnout?” You probed.

“Most definitely.”

You grunted. Oh, that was just great. There you were, attempting to squeeze in regular workouts in this awesome training hall the Avengers called the HARM room after work to get stronger and hence, eventually gather up the courage to speak to Loki and now you looked exactly like what you did not want him to see you as—a weak and meagre human.

“The best medicine would be for you to quit work for a while and stop physical exercise altogether.”

“Banner is right,” Tony added. “Take a few weeks off and rest, sleep in, eat more and healthy… the whole program. I officially give you a holiday.”

“You’re not my boss, Tony, you can’t give me a holiday.” Your smile was weak. “But I don’t have time for this anyway! I can’t believe this is happening so soon before Christmas!” You whined. “I can’t stay in bed, I’ve got so much to do! I have to buy presents and decorate and bake biscuits and make gingerbread… Besides, I’m gonna fall behind on all the data.”

He shrugged. “I’ll take care of that. Let me talk to Fury. You let us know if you need anything. Can you take her to her room, Reindeer Games? And please, no funny business.” Beside you, Loki was just frowning, utterly ignoring the billionaire’s request.

“Why were you pushing yourself so hard?” He finally spoke when the two Avengers had left—whether it was genuine confusion or mere curiosity in his voice, you were not sure. “Why were you training for battle in the first place? I have never seen you out on a mission.”

You sighed. Time to let the cat out of the bag, it wasn’t like you were still going to make a good impression on him anymore now.

“I wanted to impress you, I guess…”

“Impress me?” Loki repeated incredulously.

“Yeah… catch your attention… in a way. I mean, part of me is still terrified of you, of course but… you have a good heart, Loki. I knew when I saw you rescuing that cat from the tree.”

The God of Mischief rolled his eyes. “I knew this was going to damage my reputation.” He responded with a sly smirk, making you grin. “It was an innocent kitten, what was I supposed to do?”

“See?”

Your heart skipped a beat when his blue eyes locked with yours. He appeared… uncertain; not used to dealing with affection. Loki swallowed.

“Can you walk?”

“I’m not sure…”

The God of Mischief sighed, his lips pressed together to a thin line. Without any hesitation, he snuck one of his arms under your knees and wrapped the other around your waist. He lifted you off the makeshift bed as if you weighed nothing—and to him, you probably didn’t.

Loki carried you to your room in utter silence and eventually lay you down in your bed. Your heart jumped when he sat down on the edge of the bed himself, with a peculiar interest in his hands so he would not have to look you in the eye.

“There is no need to impress me.” He suddenly said. Your head shot up. “I did not think anyone would even… never mind.”

Oh. It almost felt like you were finally getting to know each other, for real this time.

“Do you want to stay for a while? I was going to watch some Christmas movies if I’m not allowed to get out of bed.” You sighed. “I can’t even decorate. You have no idea how many decorations I have to put up. None of the others care to make it a little more festive here, especially not Fury.”

“Yes, I have seen the boxes.” Loki replied. “It’s a little… corny, wouldn’t you say?”

“Honestly, when living among superheroes who risk their lives every single day, you could use a little corny.”

“I see.” Loki simply waved his hand and before you knew it, your entire room was decorated. Green and red tinsel shimmered on your window sill, holiday lights were blinking above your door and fake—but incredibly real-looking—snowflakes hung from the ceiling. Many of your favourite decoration items were now sitting on your nightstand and your desk, including your tiny little Christmas tree. The rest of the decorations, so it seemed, Loki must have spread all over the Tower.

“Oh my Goodness… Loki, this is amazing!” The God of Mischief winked and when you looked down on yourself, you noticed you too were wearing a green and gold Christmas sweater. Heavens, you could kiss him. “Thank you so much! What did you… is the entire Tower…”

“Yes.” He confirmed. He didn’t have to. Tony did only a fraction of a second later.

“Thor! Can you tell me why my Ironman helmet just grew metal antlers? I swear to God, if Reindeer Games has something to do with this…” It was then you exploded with laughter despite your exhaustion.

-

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[caxsthetic]

SLEEP THE NIGHT — miya atsumu

Type: Standalone Movie (One-Shot Fiction)

Cast: Miya Atsumu

Storyline: Tonight, he want to be the best boyfriend that he could be.

Genre: Drama, Slice of Life

He never cooked.

Miya Atsumu never dared to stand in the kitchen because he knew too well what could possibly happen. His twin brother who was now the owner of the infamous onigiri chain always told him that whatever he touched somehow turned into fire.

But he didn't care, at this moment he could only focus on the opened page of his tablet where your favourite food displayed. He tried to find the high rated recipe, even though it was not the simplest one, he just wanted to cook what was best for you.

After all, a perfect woman like you only deserves the nicest thing in life.

You were so patient, always supporting him through every step that he took. Never once you complained about his busy schedule, his almost non-existent presence inside the apartment you shared, or even the way he put you second after volleyball.

Volleyball always came first, that was a fact that you knew since you dated him long ago in high school. He loved the said sport more than anything in the world. His fiery passions, his energy, his time — he gave it all to a sport that he found together with his brother when they were just a silly kid.

And then came you, always silencing all those nosy new supporters when it was time for him to serve. Then came you, helping him answer a question that his teacher threw at him because he fell asleep in class after a harsh tournament.

You, a woman who helped him get through his days as your existence was like a guiding star for him.

He would fall into pieces if you were not there, walking by his side to remind him of time. He needed time to eat, time to rest, time to let loose and hang out with his beloved friends from high school. Atsumu was sure that he would be lost without you there for him.

So just this one time, he wanted to make it right for you.

"You don't have to cook for me, Atsumu." He just hummed to give you a sign that he heard you. "Atsumu, please." But he ignored your plea and continued to read the recipe. He wanted to do something good, something that a perfect boyfriend should do.

You could only let out a sigh as you sat on the kitchen island's stool, eyeing the national setter as he carefully added some ingredients on the pan. He hissed as the oil splashed out a little, hitting his skin that made him go into panic mode.

A chuckle slipped from your lips as you saw him frantically running to the sink, letting out a sigh of relief once he could feel cold water streaming down his hand, easing the pain in an instant. He really tried, today he really tried.

You didn't have the heart to stop him since you knew that once he set his mind on something, he wouldn't care about what anyone else's said. So you just sat there, becoming a company that he wanted, just like you always became for years slipping into his life.

"Come on, Atsumu." He insisted you to stay still as he cooked for you, and you didn't want to hurt his pride by walking toward him without telling him first. "Let me help you." So you asked, hoping that he would accept your proposition.

"Nope! Let me try this on my own." He answered with the same excitement as before and went back to his task. "Just sit there, I am almost done. Promise." Then he calmed down, composing himself so he could cook with a clear mind.

He needed to do it, he couldn't let tonight turn into another day where you ended up being the one who took care of him.

Atsumu turned off the stove before preparing the pristine white plate that would be used to showcase your favourite dish. He smiled in triumph as he looked at the masterpiece. Tonight was the first time he cooked a meal like this, and he couldn't help but be proud of himself for this one achievement.

Though, the glee that he felt right now was nothing compared to the twinkle that was seen in your eyes.

Your lips tugged into a smile as he set down the meal in front of you. He didn't want to eat, no, he wanted to see you first as your hand grabbed the fork. And the second you popped the piece into your mouth, he never felt this happy to see someone he loved enjoying his hard work.

You squealed a little, humming in satisfaction as you tasted the food that the blonde made just for you. It was happiness, written all over your face as you continued to eat, and each bite only made you crave for more.

Maybe this was what Osamu felt, maybe this was the reason why his brother wanted to be in the culinary career. To make people smile, to see the joyful look from your loved one for something that you made.

Wouldn't it be lucky to have the younger twin as a lover? Running a respected business, working together with a dear friend, all bills covered, making something that others could enjoy, things that his lover would cherish at the end of the day.

Truthfully — Atsumu was a little bit jealous of his twin right now.

Because with volleyball, he couldn't do the same. Sure, you were there on almost every match that he had. Yes, there was always a smile on your face as you cheered for him. And of course, you looked so happy as you stood at the stands with pride swelling your chest.

But was that enough to give to a lover?

His winning only belonged to him, it was something that anyone else couldn't enjoy, except maybe his teammate. Unlike food that could be tasted, unlike clothes that could be worn. Volleyball just, well, volleyball. It was a sport that he loved, one that he couldn't share with a lover.

Yet you never changed, you never left him. Even though he couldn't give much, even though he was not that perfect boyfriend who could pay all the bills and buy you expensive gifts — you stayed, for such a long time, patiently there even though he was barely around.

"Atsumu?"

He jolted when his name slipped from your lips. Brown orbs immediately finding yours that filled with concern, face softened at whatever expression that was shown on his facade right now. "Why don't you eat your meal? Do you dislike it now?"

"No, no." He cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. "I like it, I like anything that you love, (Y/n)." He wanted to bonk his head for saying such a cliche sentence, but he couldn't help it since it was exactly what he felt.

You only gave him a smile before focusing back to the meal that he made for you. And for him, seeing you like this, so adorable as you shove your favourite food in your mouth — he wished that he did something like this sooner, adding some spices to his endless routine at the court.

Adding you, to his daily routine.

"I am going to clean the dishes, okay?" You said softly as you got up from your seat. Your plate was already empty with how fast you ate the meal. "You already cooked, so let me do this one."

He didn't answer and just ate the rest of the food on his plate. With his speed, he choked a little but kept continuing anyway. He gulped down a glass of water right after his plate was clean without anything on top of it.

"No. Let me be a good boyfriend to-"

"Atsumu."

The setter immediately went silent from the intonation that you used. Stern, yet still filled with warm. He didn't dare to say anything as you grabbed his plate away, afraid that he would ruin the perfect night.

Like what he always did, like all the nights before this.

"Just go upstairs, I will join you in bed once I am done." He didn't move though, eyes fleeting to where you were right now as you walked to the sink.

"You promise?"

You dropped the plate gently, letting out a sigh before turning your face toward him. There it was, a smile that always made him feel at ease. You looked so breathtaking even if you only cladded with old pajamas and hair sticking out like you haven't combed for days.

"I promise, Atsumu."

And with that, he stood up. Knowing for sure that you were a woman of your word.

Atsumu wanted to walk up toward you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he let his face rested on your nape, sniffling your scent as much as he could. But he was afraid, he never did that before, what if you didn't get used to him for being so touchy like that?

He decided to turn his head and ascend to the second floor where the shared bedroom was located. When he thought about it, he was rarely there, sleeping on the same bed with you even though it would be years since he had you as his lover.

Most of the time he was always out, practising until late at night, bonding with his teammates, and decided to crash at his friend's apartment instead since it was too far from his place to their gymnasium. Yet you always reached for him. Making time to give him some healthy lunchboxes and snacks in between your busy hours of work.

He realised that he was such a bad boyfriend.

"Hey, 'Tsumu-"

"You are coming today, right?" He asked with excitement as he zipped his team jacket up. "We are going to play against Suna! Ha, I want to rile him up so much I wonder how he is in the court right now." He looked like a child, gleeful as he looked at his reflection on the mirror. "You gonna be there?"

You could only stare at him, spinning your brain to think about what sentence that you should let out.

"W-Well, of course." You cleared his throat, cursing at yourself for even stuttering. "You promised to take me to that restaurant you reserved after the match too, how could I waste a chance to spend time with my boyfriend?"

And as you saw his face contorted into a shocked one, you knew that you were back in the same cycle all over again. "You forget, didn't you?"

"Fuck, I am sorry." He immediately turned his face toward you, fear coated his eyes. "I forgot to make the reservation and I— shit! I even promised Suna to hang out after that." He immediately took a few steps forward, wanting to cup your cheek as he knew you didn't deserve to be treated like this — from time to time.

"It's okay, 'Tsumu." And this was always the outcome. "Volleyball world comes first, I know. It's alright." For you to be so understanding, for you to realise your place. "Just make it up for me by enjoying your game. Win this game for me, maybe?"

He was relieved that you didn't get angry, most women would kick his ass if he acted like this all the time. But never you, never his (Y/n).

"You know I always win." He chuckled softly, followed by yours as he leaned in to press his lips on your forehead. "And today is nothing different. Why would I need to win for you just today though? The other match wins were all for you too."

"So it's like a routine, then?" Your eyes fleeting to pierce into his brown orbs. "Hey, 'Tsumu, do you have any plan for me today?"

Why did he feel like that question was a trap? With how your eyes filled with hope, he wanted to say that he indeed had a plan for you. But he didn't, and he couldn't lie. Because in the end, you always see right through him. That was proven by how the hope was gone even before he could part his lips.

"I see." There was a little remorse in your tone, and he wanted to cheer you up in an instant. "That's okay, then!" Yet you were the one who cheered him up, didn't want him to worry about anything. "Come on, let's go. I don't want your teammates to be wary if you are late!"

He frowned when he remembered that day. How he dropped you to stay with his twin brother the whole match, the way your eyes glimmered as Osamu gave you a lunch box filled with your favourite filling onigiri. The hug that was shared, that lingered longer as his twin congratulated you a 'happy birthday'.

Atsumu wanted to punch himself when he realised that it was your birthday after all. The reason why you wanted to spend time with him, why you seemed more clingy that day, of course. And yet, he was not the first person who gave you the greetings, even though he was the one who you saw first thing in the morning.

He always wondered about why you decided to stay with him in his free time that was almost non-existence.

How you always let everything slide, how you suck it up and just focus on his well being, how you answer everyone teasing about him being a bad boyfriend — yet you always answered with pride that whatever happened, he was a good one, and you were happy to have him as your boyfriend.

But at one point, anyone must have hit their limit. Right?

"What is clouding in that big head of yours, Atsumu?" You flicked his forehead, and it was like a reminder to him that he had you in his arms right now, laying under the warm blanket in the bedroom that you two shared. "Your upcoming—"

"You." He answered truthfully before averting his gaze from the ceiling to your face. "I was thinking about you, honestly."

There was a flicker of sadness in your eyes, and he wanted to curse at himself for saying something like that out of the blue. "I am sorry, I know that tonight was supposed to be just us enjoying the moment together and not being sappy."

He held your body even closer than before, afraid that you would be gone too soon if he let it loose. His body shifted a little so he could plant a kiss at the crown of your head, eyes fluttering close as he bathed on the scent that reminded him that he would never be alone.

No words were being said after that, just you and him in each other's embrace. Your fingers stayed in his unruly hair, caressing the blonde strands that slowly lulled him to sleep.

But he didn't want to sleep yet. He didn't want to close his eyes. He wanted to savour the moment with you, one that he rarely felt with how he always prioritised volleyball above everything else. Above you, even.

Atsumu rubbed his eyes from time to time, insisting to stay awake and gripped your hips a little tighter than before. Just one more minute, he wanted to feel your warm body cuddling against his skin for a little longer.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He called out, earning a little hum of acknowledgement slipping from your lips. "Can you call me like you used to?"

He could feel how your body went rigid for a second. Your breath hitched, halted as if the request was something that could hurt you. "I understand if you can't though. I am okay if you didn't, I just want to hear it again."

One second, two seconds, everything felt so heavy as he waited for your answer. He wanted to hear his nickname from your lips, it sounds so lovely, not irritating like how his brother called him with the same name.

"Okay, 'Tsumu."

He felt so relieved as he heard his name rolled down your tongue. Happiness, love, comfort, he found it all with the way you called his name. You always use that nickname ever since you dated him, and it felt like a lifetime ago since the last time he heard it from you.

It was just Atsumu now. No more 'Tsumu, just his full first name that still sounded so odd since he still couldn't believe his mind. No, he could believe it. With how much he neglected you, with how much he was never there in your life — he acknowledged it. He just didn't want to.

"You should sleep, 'Tsumu." Your fingers trailed down his cheek as you looked up. "You have practice tomorrow, right?"

You knew all about his schedules, all the things that he allowed to eat and things that he had to do. You printed his routine in the back of your mind, somehow up until now, you couldn't help but care for him.

"Yeah, I have practice tomorrow." He gulped down before booping your nose playfully. "But I want to stay awake a little more. If that's too much to ask?"

He mustered his puppy eyes, pouting a little and tightening his embrace around you. This was your weakness, to see him all clingy like this. And when you let out a sigh and giggle, he knew that he got you.

"God, I love you so much to resist you, you know that?" You whispered out under your breath. But then as if you knew in an instant what you had said, you cleared your throat. "Okay, I give in. Stop giving me that puppy eyes, Atsumu."

"Sorry, sorry." He smiled sheepishly before resting his head comfortably on the pillow once again, securing you in his embrace as you laid back on his chest. "One more question, (Y/n). And then I promised I would zip my mouth after that until we fell asleep."

"Alright, shoot."

He frowned a little, eyes scanning the unfamiliar ceiling. He was not supposed to feel like a guest in his own place. Yet as he saw the beige coloured ceiling with some starlight sticker, he didn't feel right. Yeah, it was the price that he had to pay for rarely here in this apartment with you.

"From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a man I am today?"

He heard a sigh, another one slipped from you. Atsumu could count how many times you had sigh because of him, and he really wished that he could make you laugh instead of giving you headaches like this. "Don't sugarcoat though, I just needed the truth."

"Ten." You answered without doubt, yet as he looked down, wanting to see your eyes, you didn't look up. "Not just today, you always had a perfect score as a man. Passionate, have a big dream, would do anything to achieve it. If not I am not going to be your girlfriend for so long."

Ah, he just realised that he used the wrong term in his question.

"Let me rephrase it, (Y/n)." He closed his eyes, thinking if he was ready to hear the truth or not. "From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a boyfriend I am today?"

You clutched the tight shirt that he wore at his question, burying your face on his chest to hide yourself. He raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, didn't know why you couldn't answer it. Maybe it was that bad, maybe he could never be a good boyfriend after all.

"Perfect." He almost couldn't hear your answer with how it muffled on his shirt. "You are so perfect today, 'Tsumu."

Though he could hear it so clearly, the answer. He wanted to hear the other statement, of how he was always a perfect boyfriend, just like how you told him he was a perfect man. But of course it was not possible, he never became a lover that you could be proud of.

All these time, you complimented him, you showed to the world his capability. His skill in volleyball, his soft side toward his brother, how loyal he was to his friends — but you never said anything about how good of a boyfriend he was.

It was just all about him, not how he treated you.

"Hold me," He pleaded, biting his lips since he didn't want his voice to waver. "Hold me tighter than usual." His voice sounded like a whisper as he held you close, and he wanted you to do the same. "Please?"

Miya Atsumu was not someone who liked to beg, he knew you always gave what he wanted anyway. "Just tonight." But he wouldn't gamble anything right now. "I just need it tonight."

He swallowed down the tears that entreating to escape from his eyes. With how your arm moved to hold him close, caging him in a circle filled with comfort, maybe this was enough to be remembered.

Maybe this was enough to be remembered forever.

"I love you, 'Tsumu."

You sat in the living room with your head hanging low, hands covering your face as you didn't have the courage to look up at where your boyfriend sat. "But I am… Tired."

This was the first time he saw you cry. No, the first one was when he won national all those years ago in high school as he screamed at you that he won for you too. But never like this, the tears you shed right now was different from back then. "I tried, I really want to stay with you, to kiss you every morning, to cuddle with you under the blanket."

He couldn't say anything, heart thundering as he knew what would happen next. He was not stupid, of course everyone had their limit, and after years went by with a stagnant pace in the relationship — of course you were going to hit it, sooner or later.

"But you are never there, 'Tsumu."

You finally looked at him, and you could feel your heart shattered even more when you saw his expression. He was dumbstruck, tongue-tied. It was as if he knew that this day would happen, but he still didn't want to believe it.

He didn't want to believe that one day you would get tired of being second in his life.

"Does that mean…" He couldn't ask, knowing the answer to his next question. But he needed to make sure. "Does that mean you want to end this?"

The sunlight that slipped in between curtains was the one who woke him up. He hissed as it reached his eyes, forcing him to wake up. But he closed his eyes once again, stirring his body a little to wrap his arms around you, wanting to feel the warm that your body radiated.

Yet he was only met with cold.

And that was the thing that woke him up in an instant.

His breath laboured as he sat on the bed, brown orbs scanning the room that he shared with you. No, you didn’t just leave, right? But he scanned the room, again and again, searching for any kind of sign that you were still there.

Then again, who was he anyway, to know the signs. He was never here, he could count how many nights that he slept here with you. Atsumu didn’t even remember there were any photographs of you and him together hanging on the wall, he didn’t even know the time you decided to put some starlight sticker on the ceiling, he didn’t know what was the difference between this morning and the others.

Though one thing that he knew for sure, you would always be there when he woke up here.

“Then, please. Give me just one day! I just need one day of your life.”

Atsumu knew that this morning would come, when emptiness met him and reality sinked in as he remembered all the flaws that he had. His feet dragged him out from the bedroom that now felt suffocating for him. He needed you, he had to see you.

“But, Atsu—”

“I will prove it to you! I promise that I’ll make things right for you.”

It was so quiet, there was no music playing on the soundbar. You used to play some upbeat songs to fill the silence as you waited for him to show up after shower. Yet as he walked down the stairs, he could only hear his own footsteps.

“And then you can leave. You can sneak out when I am asleep. You know how much of a heavy sleeper I am, right?”

But then, he was right from the start.

“Alright, Atsumu. I will give you one more night.”

You were indeed — a woman of your words.

MASTERLIST

“and it cracks” taglist @roseestuosity​ @mistypoison @samanthaa-leanne @tycrackculture @aomineavenue @tris-does-stuff @tremblinghearts @p0taytoes @too-many-lanes @ntimacy @sunflwrsandprettyskies @chibichab @tsukkiboii @oikawoahh @hoefor2ds @edvigelacivetta @playboygeniusphilanthropist @wompwomphq @himichii @shoyomeow @miyayane  @graykageyama @bakugou-akaashi

[aynanasstuff]

Finals Break Down// Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: Exactly how it sounds. It's finals week, you finally let yourself break down.

_____________________________________________

Just one last round of exams and you'll finally have your Master's degree. It seemed like a good enough reason to run yourself into the ground.

The last few days of your life consisted of late nights, strained eyes and going from holding in breakdowns to lashing out at your useless laptop. There was just so much to be done and balancing all the papers you had to study for had you spiralling into a bad place mentally.

You wished you'd let yourself break down, allowed yourself the kindness that you deserved and made healthy choices. However, the guilt of possibly disappointing your parents who had put so much money into giving you a good life, of being the kid that your relatives always taunted you'd end up as, of having the privilege of a tangibly good life and still being 'weak' led you to being so strong you ended up gaslighting yourself into dishonoring your needs.

Sam has never let that happen and he isn't planning on starting now.

He's watched you lose yourself right in front of his eyes and while he wants to give you your space, he knows someone needs to step in.

__________

The door opens to your home, the smell of takeout reminding you of a hunger you'd left unnoticed. Sam brought you your favorite food from that little place at the end of the street. They had food that reminded you of home, a comfort when you missed your family.

You're in the same clothes since this morning, convincing yourself that cramming in two more paragraphs is more important then feeling clean.

"Hi baby," Sam kissed your cheek, "I got you your favorite, let's eat."

"I'll be there in 5, Sam, I've just got to finish this one paragraph."

"Baby, you've had your head in a book since this morning, you've hardly moved from when I last saw you, you better get your ass in here and get some food in yourself." he coaxed gently.

You reluctantly made your way to the kitchen, ashamed that you couldn't even take care of yourself.

He set up two plates and then, sat you down next to him, placing a kiss on your temple.

The dam finally broke.

One tear, then the next, a week's worth of exhaustion and frustration and unnecessary guilt, all spilling out over one tender kiss.

"Oh sweetheart, c'mere," he says. He brings you in for a tight hug, whispering comfort in your ears. You weren't used to being handled so gently, the feeling unfamiliar yet completely welcome.

"It's okay, baby, let it out, I'm right here, we're okay."

"I'm sorry, I'm just such a mess right now, I don't wanna burden you."

"Sweetheart, you're not a burden, you'll never be a burden to me. We agreed to hold space for each other if and when we need it, didn't we? And you look like you could use it. What do you need, baby?"

"Well, I should probably eat before the food gets cold and salty from my tears." You chuckle in embarrassment, Sam joining with a grin.

"Okay, we can start there. Then we take a shower."

"I gotta study, Sam, I don't have time for a shower."

"I promise you'll feel better after a shower, I might even join you in there," Sam says with a cheeky wink.

"That is very enticing, I must say," you reply with an eyeroll, "Fine, a shower. Then I get to work."

"No, then you get to bed, it's late and you've had like, 6 hours of combined sleep these past few days. I don't even know how you're still up and about."

"I could use a nap, I think. Will you join me?"

"Of course I will, my love. You've been running yourself into the damn ground, you can use all the rest you can get."

You sigh, shoulders hunched in realization.

"I just don't wanna prove them right." You admit softly. "They've always kinda believed that I'm too weak to amount to anything. I feel like they're right. I don't want them to be, jaan."

"They couldn't possibly be more wrong. If they think that you're weak, that you're not smart or talented, if they don't believe in you then their love is conditional and you deserve so much better than that, love. And with all due respect, fuck them."

You let out the first real laugh in a long time.

"I love you so much, Sam."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

You finish your first real meal in a few days feeling content. He'll always pull you away from the edge, you'll do the same for him. This acceptance that you craved, he gave it to you so willingly. You couldn't ask for a better anchor.

_____________________________________________

A/n: Can you tell this is self-indulgent? Anyhoo, besties! Hope you enjoyed this little thing. Please reblog and comment, it helps me out a lot! Love you <3

Tagging the homies: @lil-stark @janetsnakehole02 @sexysamosa @blueberrynonnie ❣

[moxfirefly]

One tracking the other down at lunch and making them accept food that they personally made because they know the other person doesn’t have a lunch that day.  - Not a relationship one, but a headcanon that reader fills the boys' fridge when they can to make sure they're eating well and not just pizza.

I am soft already 🥺

I’m making this in headcanon style as to cover all the lads.

Listen Raph EATS™️

The calorie intake in this man is insane so naturally carbs are like go to

But there’s more to carbs than just pizza and yes sometimes he’s caught up in patrols and training and sleep and it’s easier to inhale six boxes of pizza

Living alone has taught you to make meals for yourself or meal prep but now you find yourself making more portions. Pastas, meats, stews etc

You bring them down while their out patrolling and place them in the fridge with sticky notes for who gets what, the more fatty and high calories ones usually reserved for Raph

He catches you one night though and he’s legit like giddy cause you’re cooking is his fucking favorite and he’s already getting his designated container out and digging in

You can’t help but feel a slight blush cause Raph can be so serious and moody but he is legit stuffing his face with a happy smile and telling you that he loves how you effortless season the meat and tenderize it. He’s just a happy big lad.

Oh god does Donnie need to be fed

This motherfucker has gone days without a proper meal at times

It’s to the point that you’ve set up alarms on his phone to REMIND HIM TO EAT

And not snack, A MEAL

So you’ll drop by with food all the time at all hours of the day. Thankful for those 24hr places or you’re own cooking.

You’ll barge into the lab and announce it’s time to eat and you’ll force him to stop whatever he’s doing so he eats with you.

You make it easier for him by asking him questions about his projects, he likes feeling he isn’t slacking off and talking over his ideas helps him reach answers to questions he might have

Donnie is so hideously smart and you love hearing him talk cause you’ll flex the knowledge he drops on you with your coworkers

One of the things he’s a huge sucker for is sweets so you usually grab dessert for him along with the food. You can’t comprehend where he puts it all cause he’s so lean and when he does sit down to eat his appetite rivals Raph’s

And trust me Donnie secretly loves that you know his tastes so well.

April calls one day to ask what the guys want and without missing a beat you blurt out exactly what Donnie’s order is and you tell her you’ll Venmo her some extra cash to grab him a tiramisu

He feels really fuzzy on the inside when you do that

This lads eating habits are frightening honestly, mostly because he eats combos he creates that you’re sure should either kill a man or at least give them heartburn for six weeks straight

But he is the one that most devours pizzas and can eat it for a week straight if you don’t watch him

Mikey is a great cook though but he likes cooking for everybody ya know? He likes sharing his crazy inventions with his loved ones but he sometimes neglects that on himself and just goes for easy stuff

This is something you plan to change naturally

On the occasions that Mikey is patrolling near your place you’ll text him to swing by and get a snack. You’ll grab his backpack and fill it up with all sorts of snacks from healthy to not so healthy and water because orange crush is not a source of hydration

You also leave him silly notes because you both like to make each other laugh with lame jokes or anecdotes and that makes him excited to swing by during patrols to get his night snack

Mikey likes that you try to present all the food groups. Celery sticks, potato chips, ham sandwiches, an ice cream sandwich, like seriously you spoil him. It’s pretty easy though because Mikey is actually the only one of the brothers who’ll eat ANYTHING. Seriously he’ll try anything and that’s kinda fun cause he’s honest about it.

You know he might get in trouble when he starts to blow off the last couple of hours of patrol to spend it with you eating and laughing. He’s always dropped everything to spend time with his two favorite things: food and you

Leo is pretty on top of his diet. Yes he’ll eat pizza cause it’s a nice comfort food but he does tend to switch away to other things more than Mikey will.

In his case is, he will literally forget to eat

He’ll go ham on his training and patrolling and when he starts feelings a little nauseous and dizzy it’ll hit him that maybe he skipped a meal.

Queue you, you always ask him if he’s eaten. Wether in person, in text or on the phone and if he so much as makes a thinking face or sound you’re already telling him to come by or to sit tight

And something that absolutely and I do mean ABSOLUTELY KILLS HIM is that you can make sushi from scratch and when you show up with three bento boxes all for him, he can almost squeal with joy

Boy loves his sushi, any Oriental cuisine really. Ramen, bibimbap, coconut curry, bubble tea. You like to poke fun at him and arrive with a buffet by announcing “here’s your food you weeb” oh but it’s you who recommends him anime’s and rants to him about storylines etc

You find it really sweet that he’ll share the food you brought him even if you’ve told him twenty times that you already ate

He’s a sneak cause he’ll offer you pieces of sushi while you rant about thing but you do notice that he gives you the nicer pieces.

And you don’t miss that he gives you half his bubble tea

Why he gotta be such a caretaker???

You don’t mind though, you like how happy he is sharing his food with you and he seems to like feeding you.

[azurevi]

study date with the dorm leaders

I forgot to mention that I headcanon Idia's hair to change color according to his mood!! I've seen this in fanarts and such and it's really interesting lol

Riddle

Riddle doesn't mind tutoring you, understanding how this world is completely foreign to you and thus the difficulty you must be facing with the subjects.

You'll either go to a nearby cafe or just his dorm room. He prefers cafes though because then he can order some cherry tarts as he teaches you.

He's gonna be so serious that you almost forget that it's supposed to be a date. Being a reliable and capable dorm leader he nails every subject and finds no problem explaining even the hardest topics to you. He also has many resources that can help with your study. 

If you get tired though, he will give you a little break as he doesn't want to wear you out. Will reluctantly share the tart with you, have a casual conversation while you're at it. Even though all you've been doing is study, he cherishes the time he gets to spend with you alone.

Leona

"Pass,"

That's the response he gives you when you ask him for help -- surely he should know more about the subjects than you do. For the longest time Leona refuses to help, making up some wild lies that both of you know are false. It's not that he doesn't want to go on a date with you, he just prefers staying in and sleeping together rather than facing the dull textbooks and long words. It takes your constant effort of interrupting his naps to get him to agree. 

Although he's going to be grumpy for the entire date you can't deny that he's actually quite knowledgeable. Smart as he may be, he's not going to offer help proactively. If you leave him alone for too long he may even end up falling asleep on his fist. If he understands that you're stressed out about your studies though, he will grudgingly accompany you and guide you through every question, on condition that you go take a nap with him afterwards.

Azul

"You want me to study with you? Sure, but what do I get in return?"

Of course it's a joke. You don't have to give anything in order to spend time with him, he just wants to tease you. Give him a peck on the lips, ask him whether it's enough as payment and he'll crumble into a blushing mess.

Azul is the best study partner. He has all the books and papers from the previous years as well as detailed notes written by none other than himself. He's very proud of his collection of materials, so praise him a bit and fill his ego.

He'll prefer studying somewhere private and away from Floyd. Even if it's just a study date he doesn't want to ruin his time with you.

Even if you can't catch on quick enough, Azul is patient enough to repeat his words. He might get a bit distracted by you during the date though.

Kalim

Let's be honest, you're not gonna get much done. 

Kalim is thrilled when you invite him to a date at first before you remind him that it's a study date. It doesn't matter to him though. Any time spent with you is quality time.

As much as he would like to help, he isn't really all that capable. He already find himself struggling with his own studies, and most of the time he has to ask Jamil for help. 

Halfway through he's going to whine about how boring it is and suggest going out to study on the magic carpet instead, and of course you agree, because who would miss out going on the carpet?

It's proved to be a grave mistake though as some of your notes end up being carried away by the wind and you end up sightseeing instead of actually studying. The sun has already set when you realize how unproductive you've been for the whole day.

"Next time, let's ask Jamil to watch over us…"

Vil

Vil tries not to act too strictly since it's technically still a date, but he can't help it.

He probably has a secret room or place where he finds best to study in, and he'll show you (only after you promise not to tell anyone else)

Not only is he going to prepare every necessary material, he is also going to bring stuff for your break. Healthy snacks, some of Epel's apple juice, fragrance that he claims to be useful for concentration.

If you try to get out of studying by showing him affection he's going to realize immediately.

"We can kiss all you want after you finish the module,"

Needless to say it's a big source of fuel and you end up getting everything done in no time.

Idia

"You want to study with me?" Idia repeats your question, not quite sure he heard it correctly. He isn't exactly an outstanding student, though he excels in technology and computer science etc he doesn't do all that well in other subjects. Is he really qualified to teach you?

"I just wanna spend some time with you," tell him this and his hair will turn into crimson within seconds.

The only place he feels comfortable studying at is his dorm room, so you'll spend your time there. 

He'll try his best telling you everything he knows, and if he comes across unfamiliar topics you can just search online.

During breaks you'll get onto the floor and play a few rounds of video games, maybe eat some snacks. Overall it's just quality time spent together.

Malleus

How did you even manage to ask him out lol

You probably found him strolling outside Ramshackle dorm one night and rushed out to ask for his help

Malleus finds it enthralling -- no one has ever asked for his help in studying before. You just keep fascinating him.

He invites you to his immense library that's like twice the size of that in the school, but he is already a library himself. Growing up he has absorbed a lot of different knowledge as he's the one of the strongest magicians in the world. Anything you don't know, he can probably explain in under a minute.

Will he try to impress you? Maybe a little. He won't admit it easily though.

He tries and fail to focus on the work, always ending up looking your way with intrigue. You may have known each other for quite some time now, but you never cease to pique his interest.

[skelemira]

Horrorfell Paps x reader?? Feel free not to (also you're a cool person and I'm glad you exist)

Oooh my first time writing Horrorfell Paps!!!

And just bc you didn't specify (and bc u deserve the best~) imma give you both hcs and a lil drabble!!! (Also bc writing hcs first might get me in the mindset to write Horrorfell Paps for the first time!)

(After note: imma do the drabble another time bc I got home late and I'm super drained lol but someone feel free to remind me to do it!)

Kinda long so I'm gonna put it under here

Horrorfell Paps x Reader! (I don't have names for the Horrorfell bros yet so I'm just gonna call him Papyrus)

Hcs:

*He is not one to mince words. He is going to say exactly what he means to say and he is going to give you blunt honesty. He's not going to be malicious about his honesty, and he still knows when to be tactful in revealing information, but if you ask for his opinion he is going to be honest.

*But that makes compliments from him all the more flustering, because when someone unflinchingly honest tells you that they think you did (insert hobby or skill here) very well, then that is high freaking praise and you know they mean it with every bit of their being.

*He's fiercely overprotective for obvious reasons. In the starving Fell underground, you had to fight for everything you had constantly. So when you find something as precious as a mate? You protect that to your dying breath and Papyrus is not only very strong and fast, but he is insanely clever and creative in coming up with ways to protect what is his. It can get a little much sometimes, like when you want to go to your friend's house and he doesn't want you to leave the house without him, or when you want to go grocery shopping when he's at work, but he is rational, so most times you can explain how you have defensive weapons and him on speed dial and how this location is well lit and has security in place, and he will see reason. He's not trying to keep you from the world he's just... Seen the horrible things the world can have in it and he wants to keep those things from you as much as he can.

*He's romantic but is often pretty subtle about it. There was no room for big gestures in the Underground, so the ways you showed your love (besides with food) were with small gestures, by moving the sofa you see your partner keeps stubbing their toe on, or fluffing the pillows on their bed when you've noticed they had a long day. Little things that you could easily write off as something other than romantic gestures. His love language is mostly food, but every once in a while you'll come home and your sheets are freshly laundered or your favorite fruit is freshly cut up on a plate in the kitchen or taking your car to go get groceries and filling it up on the way back. Small things that are practical but help make your day better.

*He's not really opposed to touch (read: this mans is touch-starved as all heck) but, bc of the Underground, he was taught that touch was for harming, never for showing affection. So when you first reach out to hold his hand or put your hand on his femur or something he tenses up. Almost imperceptibly, but you notice. You're a little hurt until you realize what I said above about how he probably wasn't used to showing affection through touch. (Some might say that he just isn't affectionate but you've seen the little signs and ways he shows his affection that may not be obvious to other people, but with him you notice everything.) So gradually you help him grow comfortable with touch. (Normally you wouldn't push, some people aren't okay with touch, that's fine, but you saw him hiding just how desperately he wanted physical affection). You, of course, stop if he ever gets uncomfortable but it goes quite well and eventually he feels comfortable hugging you out of the blue and even holding you while you both sleep. He's still not initiating a lot of physical touch, but he is receptive.

Wow that was a long hc lol uhhh onto a couple more then the drabble!

*He likes to be the only one to handle food. He's not obsessive about it (he nearly is but shhh he's working on it) but he likes his kitchen a certain way and it's just... It's easier for his piece of mind if he decides how much of something is made and how it is made. Sometimes he lets you help cook or bake (baking isn't his strong suit) but most times it's him in the kitchen or (on the rare occasions that you have takeout) you get it at the restaurant or it's from a restaurant he trusts.

*When he does eventually get comfortable enough for physical touch you are ever ever allowed to touch his cracks or scars. The first time, when you do it unknowingly, he actually flinches and gently explains to you (with his body tense and his fangs gritted tightly) to please never touch those parts of him. (He doesn't explain this to you, but he doesn't actually mind the scars, they show he's tough and they show he's a fighter but..... He doesn't want your perfect innocent fingers having to touch the flawed (in his mind) parts of him.

*His ideal date? Doing a puzzle with you with gentle jazz playing in the background. Though he "complains" about it "not having enough spikes to truly be fun" you can tell that he's enjoying figuring out something with you like this in a calm and peaceful environment where he knows he's safe. He makes a meal and, instead of eating at the dinner table, he declares it a special occasion and has you both at on the couch, chatting about the puzzles and each other's day. He's still watching you eat carefully, though, and making sure you get plenty of healthy food to eat.

*On that note, if you aren't at least a little chubby he considers himself to have failed in his job of feeding you, regardless of what those ridiculous human beauty standards say. (If you have trouble gaining weight for whatever reason, though, and you explain that to him, he understands and will back off a little and will stop trying to give you extra portions at dinner.)

*He signs sometimes because his jaw aches, of course you help him get to a dentist and an optometrist to get glasses and braces (though it's a battle of wills to get him to admit he needs help), but some days his jaws ache too much to talk, so he taught you sign language, writing down what he was saying in the early days of you learning.

I hope you enjoyed the headcanons Kat, sorry I couldn't finish the drabble tonight but I will write that as soon as I can!!! It was fun getting to know Horrorfell Paps and maybe one day I'll name him lol!

[weelittleweasley]

a house on the beach (g.w.)

prompt: a little beach getaway makes you grateful for all that you have.

pairing: george weasley x fem! reader

warnings: food, mention of the war, mention of Fred’s death, mention of children

word count: 2.2k

taglist: @rosaliepostsstuff​ @harrysweasleys​ @gcdricreads​ @lumos-barnes​ @whizboingies​ @lumosandnoxwriting​ @pxroxide-prinxcesss​ @c-t-h​ @lol-idk-oops​ @another-lonely-heart-blog​ @kaseyrose96-blog​ @hufflepuff5972​ @amourtentiaa​ @parseltongueswriting​ @shilohpug​ @peachypotter​ @spacexcowgirl​ @paintballkid711​ @vogueweasley​ @freddie-weaselbee​ @gryffindcrghost​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @valwritesx​ @sweeterthansammy​ @loonylovegood13​ @lostaurorax​

Excitement overwhelmed your senses as you dropped your bag to the floor of the house, running to the back porch and down the stairs, ignoring George’s calls, too desperate to feel the sand underneath your feet. You pried your shoes off from the long drive and plunged them into the warm sand as you sighed out with a happy giggle. The sand covered your skin as you smiled to yourself, giving your toes a wiggle before walking, more running, over to the salty ocean water. 

The moment your toes touched the water, relief and relaxation flooded over you, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the echos of birds chirping sounded down the beach. The smell of salty air and sun cream filled your nose as you inhaled happily, finally in the place that made you happy. The early summer sun beat down on your skin, warming you through your t-shirt as you extended your arms, embracing the sensations that washed over you like the waves. 

George watched you from the porch, how you happily danced in the water, waving your hands, inviting you to join him. He smiled to himself with a sigh before taking off his own shoes, joining you on the shore. 

As he walked to you, he watched how the breeze moved through your hair, making it dance, as you kicked your feet in the blue water, giggling to yourself. You were unearthly, standing there in your radiance with a beaming smile on your face. George’s heart swelled in his chest as he looked upon you with love in his eyes and adoration in his heart. 

When he reached you, he slipped his fingers in yours and placed a soft kiss to your lips, tilting your chin up with one of his fingers to reach your lips. “Happy?” he asked with a teasing grin on his lips as you beamed and nodded.

“Thrilled,” you giggled. “Isn’t this nice? Much needed getaway for the both of us, don’t you think?” you combed your fingers through his hair, already crunchy with sea breeze. 

This holiday was unprompted, but with the booming business of the joke shoppe and your overwhelming work schedule, you both decided a getaway was much needed for the both of you. Just a quiet weekend with the two of you, enjoying some peace and quiet together. An escape to the beach seemed like the perfect place to do so considering it was one of your favorite places in the world. And George would do anything to see that smile on your face that he loved so much.

George placed a kiss to your forehead, “Much needed.” He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind you and rested his chin on the top of your head as the two of you stood and stared out at the ocean, watching the waves rise and fall and crash. You could stand there forever, in your lover’s arms, enjoying each other’s company whilst the ocean washed upon your ankles and toes every once in awhile. You sighed in contentment, not needing much more in this moment.

After about an hour of standing and walking up and down the beach, the two of you decided to unpack your overnight bags, settling yourself in the rental house. As you unpacked, you looked out the window, smiling to yourself. Right in front of the bed was a large window that faced the ocean. “Georgie?”

“Yes, my love?” he responded sweetly, looking up at you from the dresser, making your heart pitter-patter in your chest as his sweet chocolate eyes peered at you.

You nodded your head to the window. “I know I said we should sleep in this weekend, but I think we should get up for the sunrise tomorrow. We can watch it from the bed,” you suggest with a playful smile on your lips. Godric knows the two of you needed to sleep in, but the thought of watching an orangey sunrise from the bed sounded heavenly.

He gave a light chuckle before speaking, “Sounds like a plan. As long as we can go back to bed after.” You nodded excitedly which only made George laugh and walk over to you, taking you in his arms as you pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’m glad I have you all to myself this weekend. No work, no distractions, no nothing. Just us.”

“I am, too,” you cooed back at him as he pressed his lips to yours gently, your kiss familiar and gentle. You could be hours away from shared flat, but wherever you were with George, that’s when you felt the most at home. In his arms, him holding you tight and not daring to let you. Gentle kisses pressed to lips, foreheads, and jaws, whispered I love you’s, and small giggles exchanged. This was your heaven. 

The day was spent well. Laying in the sand, George’s head in your lap as you brushed his hair with one hand, the other holding a book as George closed his eyes, falling asleep to the sounds of the ocean and the sensation of you combing fingers through his hair. Every once in awhile, you lay your book down on the sand and just breathe in the salty air as the sun shone down on your skin. You smiled to yourself when you looked down at George, resting peacefully in your lap, sun cream smeared on his nose and under his eyes, making you gently giggle. He insisted he burned easily as he smeared the thick paste on his nose, refusing to blend it in. You shook your head and pressed a kiss to his freckled forehead, leaning back on your hands, sand flowing between your fingers.

The beach was empty, you and George being the only people on the beach for as far as your eye could see. It was nice, knowing that no one could disturb your peaceful getaway. Much needed after the last few years and the chaos that had weaseled its way into your lives. Some peace and quiet is exactly what you needed. 

George eventually woke from his nap and insisted to go on a walk down the beach which you gladly accepted. His fingers laced with yours as you walked along the shoreline, water dancing over your feet now. George would groan each time the water caught the bottoms of his cuffed jeans, making you laugh. You looked at George with so much adoration in your eyes as he walked beside you. A shirtless wonder, his dark wash jeans hanging low on his toned body, one of his hands holding his shoes, the other cradling your hand as he pressed a kiss to it every few seconds, reminding you he was there. You’d smile sweet as you leaned over to press a kiss to his sun chapped lips. 

Jokingly, George kicked over water so it splashed on you as you squealed, the cold water hitting your exposed skin. “Don’t you dare, George Weasley,” you warned him as he laughed before doing it yet again, making you break out in a run away from him, darting down the beach. But George of course wasn’t too far behind as you giggled, running away from him as he chased after you.

“Not so fast, you,” he laughed before scooping you up in his arms, peppering your face with kisses as you wildly laughed, writhing in his grip. His strong arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight as you threw your head back with laughter, George taking the opportunity to place kisses all over your jaw and neck. “Can’t get away from me that easily.”

Back at the house, you and George munched on takeout as you two draped yourselves on the couch, soft music playing in the background. The two of you enjoyed the comfortable silence, eating your food, listening to the gentle music, legs tangled as you rested on opposite sides of the couch. As the two of you finished your dinner, George broke the silence with a quiet question. “You think we’ll have a boy or a girl first?” he asked, wiping his mouth with a crinkled napkin.

You furrowed your brows. You and George often spoke of your future, but usually about where you would move or marriage. Never really about kids. “What do you mean?”

“You know,” George smiled. “Our kids. Which do you think we’ll have first?”

With a smile, you placed your empty plate on the coffee table and scooted closer to George, wrapping your arms around his neck as he rested his hands on your hips with a small smile. “Well,” you think, searching your mind, “I don’t mind which we have first. As long as the baby is happy and healthy.”

George smiled and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose. “What names do you like?” he asked, rubbing small circles on your hip bones, smiling gently.

“For a girl...I like Giselle or Emilia,” you smiled to yourself. You had always loved those two names for your baby girl, having them in your memory since you were a fifth year. George nodded his head in agreement. “For a boy...” you trailed off as you thought. When selecting a name for your future children, you wanted to pick a name you liked, but also something with meaning. Something with significance. And that’s when it hit you. “...if it’s alright with you, G,” you started, “I’d want to name our son after Fred.”

The mention of his twin’s name tugs at George’s heart strings. Memories of his twin flood his mind and bring warmth in his chest. George missed his other half every day and it only grew. Coping with Fred’s death was brutal for George and he was thankful that he had you next to him every step of the way. Each day got a little easier, but each day he missed him more and more. George swallowed thickly before giving a shaky sigh, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You cupped George’s cheek and brushed it softly with your thumb as he sighed, leaning into your touch. With a small smile, he bit down softly on your thumb, making you giggle lightly. “Where are we living?” you change the subject as George runs his fingers through his hair.

“Somewhere with lots of space,” he smiled. “I want the kids to have space to run and play like we did as kids,” he beamed as you smiled to yourself, combing fingers through his hair, making him melt underneath your touch. “Not too close to the shoppe, but not too far away. Somewhere just right,” he smiles softly. “Just me, you, and our nine kids,” he pokes at your sides, making you roll your eyes and laugh.

Even though you rarely spoke about children, you knew that George wanted a large family. He wanted a house full of children, loudly stomping around, filling the house with love and laughter that reminded him so of his own childhood. George wanted to have a family, you the mother of his children and the love of his life by his side. George thought about you as a mother and how loving you would be towards your future children. It made his chest warm and his cheeks red with delight. 

“Well, if we’re having nine children, we’re going to need more names,” you tease him as he chuckles, placing a kiss to your chin. “So, we’ve got the house, we’ve got the kids, what else is in store for us?” you gently smile as George gives your hips a squeeze.

He thinks for a moment before a toothy grin appears on his face. “I’m going to get us a house like this one,” he suggests as you furrow your brows. “I’m going to get us a house on the beach.” But before you can interrupt him with how you both didn’t need a house like this, he starts, “You love the beach, angel. The look on your face when we first got here was priceless. I want to get you a house like this so you can feel like that whenever you want.”

Your heart swells with so much love as you sigh happily, brushing George’s cheek with your thumb. George wanted to give you the world and he would do it with a grin on his face and pep in his step. You knew growing up he didn’t have much, so the fact that he was so adamant on giving you and your future family a life he didn’t have made your heart melt. “Georgie...” you sigh.

“I want to give you the life you deserve,” he speaks simply with sincerity.

Taking his face in your hands, you place a firm kiss to his lips before pressing your forehead against his. “The life I want is a life with you,” you tell him. “I don’t need anything else, George. Just you and me.” George smiles lightly before placing one, two soft kisses on your lips. “I don’t need a house on the beach. You’re my beach,” you giggle.

He chuckles, “I like that. I’m like the sand. I get everywhere and you can’t get rid of me.” His comment makes you laugh as he cuddles closer to you, wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you further into his lap.