#revenge ranch

[yerbamansa]

1 week of slowvember revenge ranch ficlets and drabbles! having a good time feeling out my humble AU's canon a bit here.

Chapter Index for Revenge Ranch Slowvember '22 by yerbamansa

1. snail/slug | sloth | panda (John/Frenchie) (2022-10-31)

2. porch swing & lemonade (Jim/Oluwande) (2022-11-02)

3. lazy river | floating (Pete/Lucius) (2022-11-03)

4. garden | flower crowns | watering plants (Alma & Stede/Ed) (2022-11-04)

5. snowy cabin | ski trip | ice skating (Ed/Stede) (2022-11-05)

6. lazy sunday | (in bed) (Jim/Oluwande) (2022-11-06)

7. slowracer (Jim & Ed & Alma) (2022-11-07)

[jei-rifni]

Saw the new episode.

Got sad.

Made this.

Happy again.

I call this, “Sharing how to clean with your family!”

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

The lux cottage couple of SAN YSIDRO RANCH

When the Frogmore Cottage renovation project was announced to the British tax payers, Meghan used her personal "mouthpieces" to express displeasure with the choice. She found this cottage beneath her expectations for a royal standard of living. She publicly compared Frogmore Cottage to the homes of William and Catherine, and took to twatter to express her disdain for the free "staff" accommodations.

We already knew she detested Nottingham Cottage before Megflix because she lived in a rented house in the Cotswolds. A detail they conveniently forgot to mention in the mockumentary.

While her public disdain for rent-free housing is ON BRAND for Meghan, it is no coincidence that she moved to CA and deliberately chose a luxury COTTAGE as the faux Hollywood set of their reality tv show.

Meghan & Harry's Santa Barbara Cottages & Gardens represents another sign that she has always obsessed with setting up her rival faux ROYAL court. The BRF security team is obliged to flag these seemingly unrelated decisions as more evidence of Meghan's disordered bunny boiler personality which I have termed PCDD¹.

I still believe Meghan was crazy enough to name ARCHie and their ARCHewell BRAND after the word monARCHy. I also believe she named her tig blog after William & Harry's lost dog TIGger and their beloved lost nanny TIGgy. She used the word TIG to wickedly trigger Harry's boyhood traumas rooted in losses. In this case, a dog and a 2nd mother figure. Harry was a Marked man (now a Markled man) long before they met in Istanbul, Turkey.

Their decision to burn unearned wealth to cosplay in lux COTTAGES only feeds Meghan's Princess Catherine Derangement Disorder (PCDD¹) and her deluded fantasy that she is destined to become QUEEN of the world.

To keep up their lux cottage couple lifestyle, from 2020-2022 Meghan Markle potentially burned through a min of $56,000-$84,000 per WEEK to stage zoom calls and create a fake lifestyle of luxury for a megflix mockumentary.

That is at minimum $1,000,000 (million) per year on luxury hotel fees all the while suing & shaming the British tax payers for SECURITY. This is CRIMINAL.

The money Meghan & Harry burned on a weekly basis (during a pandemic) is the amount of money average Americans hope to gross in 1 year. The average family in some of the poorest countries in the world could transform their entire village with what these (2) two spent in 1 week to stage zoom calls. No wonder Meghan was in debt when she married Harry. She's the fraudess who went into debt to create her HUMANITARIAN brand to "bag a Prince.²"

It doesn't add up: they own a 16 bathroom mansion and yet the director of megflix quit the job because Meghan & Harry weren't willing to film their REALITY TV show out of their home. They will write off the expense of these lux cottages. With the publication of SpareUs, they released photos and articles all about the cottages and the property. No doubt Meghan negotiated a reduced rate to act as brand ambassadors.

But why the deception?

We learned that Charles cut Harry a check for a few million dollars, and yet ungrateful Harry went before the entire world with his lying wife and lying NOprah to shame his father for cutting him off financially. According to Harry it was only the millions from his mother (his very own patron saint who communicates with him from her grave) that made it possible for them to avoid homelessness.

NOprah had the audacity to publicly shame the British people for wasteful spending in honor of their Queen's Platinum Jubilee. This hypocrisy from the woman who televised the moment she gifted a room full of MULTI-MILLIONAIRES with an extravagant pair of diamond earrings. Her media mogul mentee, Tyler Perry, purchased 2 Rolls Royce vehicles: 1 for a billionairess, NOprah & 1 for a millionaire, Gail.

This cottage couple cried to NOprah because their royal baby didn't have SECURITY. Bethenny Frankle was even contacted by A list celebrities and told to take down her criticism of Meghan because they couldn't AFFORD to pay their SECURITY bills.

Free people should do whatever they desire to do with their own money; however in this instance, it is Meghan's pretense, her hypocrisy, and her penchant for deception that voted her the 2022 #1 celebrity that people are most sick of and of course Harry took the 2nd place spot.

Harry's law suit against his grandmother's government has already cost the British tax payer $300,000. This selfish, greedy California cottage couple has the audacity to demand that the UK tax payer cover their annual $3,000,000 SECURITY bill. You couldn't make it up.

This comes as no surprise to us bc we observed her celebrity NO work ethic at a mere 72 engagements.

If you pay UK taxes or live in a Commonwealth Country, please write to the MPs and to your Prime Minister. Sussex titles need to be stripped, thereby relieving the cottage couple (and their invisibles) of their ties to the UK and any need for tax payer funded SECURITY.

Admittedly, Meghan cares nothing for the sacrifices that were made by the British people (dead or alive). She feels entitled to other people's money. Unfortunately Harry, like his wife, lacks a pure desire for servant leadership.

William and Harry's mother, who actually worked hard for a living (even as a house keeper), would be appalled at Harry's sense of entitlement. Sadly, Harry has managed to embody the egomania his mother feared might result from an uber privileged upbringing.

In selecting Meghan, it is evident to the world that Harry has again tragically lost the mother he knew for the first 13 years of his life.

In 2019, Tatum O'Neal was asked about Meghan's infamous bad behavior at Wimbledon, and she seemed genuinely disappointed. "This is not Diana...I don't know what this is..." More evidence that Harry was told by numerous people who actually knew his mother that this wife lacks his mother's virtues, and yet he prefers to believe & parrot her lies.

On Megflix, Meghan expressed that she's frustrated because after all this time (and Money on PR) people still don't have "a good sense" of who she is. For her to make such an outrageous statement only confirmed that South Park got it right, Harry's wife is "stupid."

Meghan dear, which one of your multiple personalities carried out those 72 engagements? Were we watching your clone? Did the British press tamper with the footage? Go back and watch yourself, preferably with a REAL medical professional. And while you're at it, print out the transcripts of those horrid podcasts. Everyone can see the real you except for you and your dumb now husband, H.

Harry had the audacity to say that unlike his British family members, he and Meghan never worried about how they might perform in front of the press because they are AUTHENTIC.

The fact that Harry believes Meghan is his mother incarnate is enough to warrant a wellness check visit on the invisibles by a qualified social worker. Obviously Dorito's CA license isn't worth the paper it was printed on.

The words of Harry's friend(s) about her rented apartment being Soho House "touched" certainly ring true today. I still don't understand the full meaning of those words, but even Dumb Harry wrote that she lived out of Soho House hotels where they stored her luggage.

"Soho House Touched" Living Accommodations

If you watch the home videos of Meghan, it affirms what her Uncle Mike said about his brother Thomas: he created "a prima donna." Sadly the entire world has been impacted by Thomas' creation. Meghan, the faux humanitarian, has shown the world the level of destruction an ungrateful adult child is capable of inflicting on her own families, and on all the families she never had.

So many elaborate schemes executed to feed the world an illusion of two innocent lovers who escaped their awful life inside the gilded cage of royalty, only to act out a modern day tragedy on a global stage.

Carry on duke & duchess. Carry on

¹PCDD Princess Catherine Derangement Disorder Last year I read a comment that summed up the root of Meghan's psychosis with a simple link to this photo:

²Gina Nelthorpe Cowne Quote

They negotiated a price cut from Mr. Warner. Too bad he also allowed them to redecorate w/Meghan's tacky home furnishings.

[liauditore]

Pssst if you’re still doing the shipping bingo, how would team rancher/solidaritek fill your bingo board?

OFC. RANCHERSSS ALWAYS AND FOREVER 😭😭

ok but.. real talk i think ranchers is like. my number two "I actually ship this no strings or footnotes attached" ship right after ethubs.

I am usually not one to be moved by ships that are just "they are fun and healthy together and love eachother" but oh GOD the ranchers. See I think the thing is they just.. make sense for eachother even if you don't expect it until the point they realise they're soulmates.

Jimmy's situation has been talked about to hell and back at this point but Tango is also very out of his element in the life series. He says himself that pvp is not his specialty and he doesn't have the time or resources to make his skill set shine. So he ends up either somewhat ignored or outcasted for most of the games. (<-- fyi fun fact this is where the whole 'mech pilot tango' idea came from lol. i feel like he'd have a dva-style mech outside of the life series)

In particular i LOVE his relationship with team BEST and I NEED desperately to talk abt it more. the way he's constantly talked over by his own teammates, intimidated, asked to sacrifice his own lives for their sake, "tango's Easy", etc. etc.

‘Cause inside, nothing’s fine It should be clear to prying eyes But I won’t let the feelings See the light So tell me, why should I even try? I’m frozen away in time

(Koala, Will Stetson)

They both have this habit of hiding their own insecurities behind a facade of boisterousness, but no matter how much either of them puff out their chests and raise their voices, their message of "please take me seriously" never seems to get through.

The Ranchers are just.. two losers against the world. and they inspire confidence within the other that they can't find in themselves. and yes the world forces them apart but you can Feel that influence they've had on one another in the background.

Guess I went and caved I wonder, is there another way? Because I want to believe That one day I’ll be okay So now, I’ll give it another try I can finally see with a clearer mind Even if the bumps in the road Might try to stop me, Still it’ll be alright Keeping it inside Isn’t clearing up the sky So you tighten your hand in mine Following the light like a cute Koala Laughing in stride

Plus I, uh... Unhinged but I have this thing with the life smp where there's this running theme throughout the story about how it doesn't really matter who wins or who dies first.

Because for every epic battle and every tear-jerking death there was fun and laughter and stupid, trivial drama before and in between and those little moments may not be as memorable or written down in history but they're what makes the series enjoyable. Yes, we're all gonna die, but isn't it cool that we laughed with eachother and made dumb jokes and adopted a frog and said "I love you" on the way there?

j-just like real life. life smp. evangelion moment im sorry

Though both of us will die one day Though this life is useless anyway When you’re here by my side, you make me feel like it’ll be okay And yet we laughed despite it all At this life which has no meaning at all Two lonely and broken souls leaning on each other’s sides I’m glad that you’re you, that I’m me, and for us two I’m kinda glad that you’re evil too When the day starts anew, hope I spend it with you I’m glad that I fell in love with you

(I'm Glad You're Evil Too, Rachie/Anthong translyrics)

The Ranchers epitomize that.

They are doomed. They both know this, I think. Neither of them can fight, they're left begging for scraps by session 2, no one on the server takes either of them seriously and they lost a life literally like 10 minutes into the first episode.

But they built a home together, raised livestock, stood up for eachother. and they were happy together.

and isn't that what really matters?

and neither of them are even aware of how much they really meant to the other one. the game ends. tango tells jimmy to go home. go. they certainly don't break up to the extent of Some Other Pairings In This Series but i like to think tango distances himself, thinking jimmy would be happier with his friends and not stuck with him. jimmy thinks the same. but they still wave hi and call eachother rancher and now they're running a salad restaurant together or something i guess.

It's just.. everything that gets the two of them condemned and made fun of in their other relationships is what's Celebrated in theirs. They can just be themselves, mistakes and silliness and imperfections at all, with no pressure to perform amazing feats and make amazing stuff and I think that's great.

um yeah i like ranchers.

[simplegenius042]

Late WIP Poll Winner(s) Wednesday

With Round 2 results in, here are the FC5 WIPs of Silva's Hope and the still unnamed "Proposed Arranged Marriage" scenario. For a cleaner context, I added a few more sentences.

I will be combining the rest of the other non-winner poll WIPs into one post soon. And catching up on some tags.

Tagging everyone who tagged me or were in the notes of this poll: @voidika @chazz-anova @inafieldofdaisies @cassietrn @adelaidedrubman @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat and @strangefable + anyone else who wants to read.

First! More Silva's Hope. Reminder that this WIP of mine is still under construction and some things may or may not change in the future. Introducing John's personal Chosen bodyguard (translation: unpaid babysitter), Nadi Sinclair doing some digging for Nancy:

Adjusting her shoulder, bringing the phone closer to her ear, Nadi asked into it, "Sister Nancy, I can't find any headlines nor editorials on "Elsa Omar" or any "Floristry"... are you certain there's something here? Perhaps you had read wrong, no?"

The older woman on the other end replied, her aged and gentle voice filled with patience, "I guarantee its in one of them papers, Sister Nadi. My eyes remember the exact words when I read the cover. You'll find it eventually dearie." Nadi made an affirmative hum as she unwrapped the next piece of paper.

And lo and behold, the words "MISSING OWNER OF ELSA'S FLORISTRY FOUND! BODY RECOVERED IN LOCAL HENBANE CAVE" were centered right in the middle of the page. Nadi blinked, momentarily perplexed, and checked the date of publishing. December 7th, 2013. Bringing her eyes back to the story, she read the first few lines the page had to offer.

And Kamski's POV in the arranged marriage scenario WIP!

[TW: Mention of coerced marriages and implications of canon infanticide. Also emotional manipulation?]

Joseph appeared unbothered by his lack of trust in the prophet's words, and seemed to decide to placate the doctor's paranoia, "I assure you Doctor Neon, we care for Deputy Omar's health as much as you do. God is looking out for your charge, and will protect her from the Collapse. You can trust me to keep her safe."

Kamski hummed, unconvinced. He really wanted to scoff and snarl at the man in front of him. Yeah, shooting, stabbing, almost drowning, torturing, drugging, sicking wolves on her, almost killing her in general, letting her starve and dehydrate while conditioning her to kill innocent people has been a wonderful method of tending to her health. He hated the serenity in Joseph's voice, how easy it was for him to lie to the Good Doctor's face. Does he really think me, a 58-year-old self-taught medic and doctor, that naive? Is he so focused on what he thinks God demands of him that he can't see this isn't what Silva needs or wants? How trapping her in another set of walls will do her more harm instead of less? "Care for her" my ass. Kamski doesn't exactly know what Joseph's game is, but the evidence points to possibilities that do nothing to decrease the disgust and contempt he felt toward the so-called prophet. He knew the last place Silva should be was near Joseph and the cursed prophecy that just continues to take so much from them. He hated the familiarity of the situation, hated how little control he had again, and despised himself for wishing Paul was there. At least Paul could protect her.

Kamski shooed away those thoughts. No! Remember what he took away from Silva. Be glad he's gone. Kamski exhaled a breathe and looked to Joseph. His siblings were still around, including Silva's unwanted suitor, but the doctor felt unconcerned by their presence. If they wanted Silva to join the family, despite how low of a chance that actually is, they would need him alive. Though Kamski wasn't unprepared to fight back should he need to. After all, he couldn't trust these Saints to keep their words. He stared through the yellow lens of Joseph's aviators. It nagged him, the certainty Joseph had that he could keep anyone, especially Silva, safe, when it was him who was the danger. Kamski knew from experience that at a moments notice, whether it was "God's Will" or his own, he could have Silva life end without hesitation. Even his own family wasn't safe. A reminder he chose now to address in his response.

"Just like you protected your daughter?"

[noemitenshi]

Ok so, this may be influenced by what I really really want to see this last half-season but I now believe that we *will* get a Madison-Troy team-up/reconciliation. It's all that talk about second chances that has me going 👀👀 That has *got* to be significant, that needs to be endgame. Why else start this arc with exactly that? Second chances and tries at redemption...

Please don't let this just be about Victor and Madison (or, whoever else has grievances with one another, I haven't been watching the last several seasons...) but also about the Troy-Madison relationship.

To miss this chance, to bring him back just as a villain would be such a fucking waste 😭

[hyperfixationsofaspiring]

MY BOYS THEYRE HOME

[mxtheyes]

something hit me so hard about the divorcees saying "meet at ranch?" like the way jimmy and tango built their home at a central location around a bunch of other bases, the way it's still a notable landmark, almost unavoidable. the way that the tunnels they dug and the things they built are still being used by everyone else. the way they still are making an impact on the finale. the way that the warden has, in a way, outlived them by taking revenge on grian and scar for them. hello. can anyone hear me. im losing it

[cinemajunkie70]

A very happy birthday to Bai Ling! Obviously The Crow is a favorite but Crank II: High Voltage is another favorite!

[domidextrus]

We're 4 sessions in and all hell has broken loose.

Scar has stolen the enchanting table from the Deep Dark (essentially redoing his enchantment monopoly from Last Life), the amount of red names has shot up from 2 to 8 with Grian & Scar now being the only green names remaining, and Bdubs & Impulse's pool party ended in pure carnage with Rendog sending in a zombie ambush and the red names massacring the party hosts.

I think it's safe to say we've gone straight from reality TV drama to absolute pandemonium.

[yerbamansa]

wip wednesday: new revenge ranch jim pov anyone?

It was so stupid, honestly. A “red pill/blue pill” meme with the choices go back to age 6 with all the knowledge you have now and get $10 million. Everyone else immediately said they’d take the fucking money, because Christ, who’d want to be a kid with the burden of a lifetime’s worth of information? Jim had fallen silent.

Oluwande wasn’t there. That shouldn’t have been a problem, but he knew. He knew, and Ed knew, and Ed wasn’t around either (honeymoon, ugh), and they didn’t want to fucking tell everyone having a nice little time about how, when they were 7, their entire family was murdered and they saw it happen and, long story short, that’s why they’re so cagey and good with knives, et cetera. And, like, they’d been working through that. Especially after Nana passed, they’d been working so fucking hard, building a life they wanted, with people they loved. People they could protect but probably wouldn’t have to. Not like that. Not like they didn’t know how back when they were 7 years old. So. Some of that knowledge might’ve come in handy, once, and the thought slammed into them like a hurricane gust.

“Jesus, Jim, what’d we do to you?” Frenchie asked. The meme was still visible on his phone screen, held loosely in his hands.

“I, um…” they said.

Wee John narrowed his eyes at them. “Maybe, maybe let’s not think about childhood?” he suggested, placing a palm on Frenchie’s arm and pulling his phone back.

[david-talks-sw]

Finished Star Wars on Trial and Matthew Stover manages to perfectly encapsulate how I think everyone should approach watching Star Wars material they don't like.

"The plot holes are essential. Because inside every single hole in the entire Star Wars saga - in every flaw in the franchise - you can find a Cheshire grin floating above a flannel shirt, and a fading echo of... "Ha-ha - made you look!" When I was at Skywalker Ranch to meet with George Lucas, I brought up the sliding-around-the-turboshaft business in Revenge of the Sith. I said, "They're in orbit -- gravity just doesn't work like that-" The answer I got, verbatim, was: "That's the point." Each of you on this jury - each of you reading this book - is here because you have one of two fundamental reactions to this. One is to frown. "Quit it! Quit or I'm telling! And I won't be your friend anymore!" The other is to grin right back. "Okay, you got me. What's next? Let's go!" Because your reaction is a choice: You can take that made you look as an insult. Or you can take it in the spirit it is intended. As an invitation to play. George says: "Let's pretend!" What do you say? Me? I grin. I always have, ever since a hot summer afternoon in 1977, when I was fifteen years old and a kid knocked on my door and told me about this goofy movie he wanted to see."

The whole point of Star Wars is to help you be creative and think outside the box. It's a fun make-believe story.

If there's something you don't like about a Star Wars movie, or any movie, you can either rage about it or get creative and come up with a headcanon that makes it work better for you.

Instead of saying "TLJ Luke wouldn't do that!" I try to ask myself "what would make Luke do that?"

Instead of disliking the Dooku episodes in Tales of the Jedi, I just tell myself that they're all seen through Dooku's own unreliable lens and immediately it all makes sense.

It's a lot more fun when you choose to grin instead just going "Quit it!" and I'm making an effort to do the former more than the latter, especially when The Acolyte will come out.

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

From a FAKE rented cottage at the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara, CA, Harry told his good global therapist:

"Meg gives me my space."

Why wasn't the good doctor allowed to meet at their massive Montecito Olive Garden SPACE?

Byrony was allowed to conduct their interview in the so called, "guest house" (as Sparry hung family photos on the wall). Afterwards she was rewarded to step foot across the threshold of the REAL "mansion" to observe and testify to the UK of the "normal" family living behind their very own security wall.

How much "space" does a spouse need? Anderson, Bradbury, Variety and even NOoprah were denied entrance to Casa de Montecito.

With so many "lemon trees," The Meghans still PAID a HOTEL to stage:

pandemic zoom calls & interviews

BLM & pro Biden Bench speeches

40th bday juggling act

chatting with teenagers

AGT (except the meghans who have zero talent)

Spotify Spots

magazine photoshoot & interviews

The very fake mockumentary megflop soap opera filmed inside various rented hotel cottages, on rented benches

All 1 hour away from Montecito at Santa Barbara's San Ysidro Ranch for megflix.

The Meghans still expect Americans to think it's normal to request discounts at a NYC hotel while suing his grandmother's government for (FREE) tax payer funded security.🧐

How convenient for megs that everytime she moved to a new country or city, her self titled "gay husband," Mr. Markus Anderson (former Soho House Bus Boy) chose to relocate to live w/her or near her

La->NYC

NYC->Toronto

Toronto->London

London->California

In LA, Meg was known as a serial celesbian to the stars. So how did Sparry & Eugenie become bffs with Omit's former gutter guyfriend, the infamous Markus Anderson?

Does MA's influence on the young BRF begin with Misha NooNoo and her friendship with Yorkie Eugenie? It would make sense that Eugenie, was the easy workaround to Sparry. What about all the photos of the York family posing, Sarah included, with sleazy Ron Burkle🤮😖😳

Of course Sparry preferred to party at Soho House instead of working on his character flaws. No coincidence that on more than 1 occasion, Sparry was videotaped pinching or sucking the nipples of male friends & male strangers.

Over the past 12-24 months we've seen Sparry become more effeminate in his motions, walk, speech, and who can forget seeing Sparry rub the back of his male partner as they enter his alleged personal man cave.

According to Caitlyn Jenner:

"supposedly they have a place in LA"

and Harry spends his free time in San Francisco. Is it any wonder Thirsty Tyler Perry who has his own skeletons declared he doesn't want love if it isn't The Meghans kind of love.🙄

Meghan, Markus & Dorito have made all of Sparry's dreams come true.

Dear Sparry, I hope finding your freedom & freebies in CA with your new "friends" was worth the price of your soul. By the way, it's not.

Meghan must feel like she can finally see a light at the end of her failed attempt to destroy the BRF via Sparry. In the end, it was the Queen of England who accurately SUSSed out the heart of Rachel Meghan Markle: an interloper who repaid good with evil.

[rafesgoldrings]

Drew Starkey characters

Rafe Cameron

* indicates smut 18+ ONLY

Imagines

One Hell of a Night* (ft Poly!Kook Topper and Kelce)

It’s strictly platonic between you and the three kook boys to anyone else, but when you’re alone it’s a totally different answer. A daunting game of cat and mouse lands you in an interesting position one Friday night.

Sex Tape* (Cam boy!Rafe AU)

Rafe agrees to let you be in one of his shows on the agreement he gets to make a sex tape with it…turns out you like being the slutty star of the show

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy* (Cowboy!Rafe AU)

When you see that Rafe Cameron is looking for new ranch hands, you jump at the opportunity. You’ve heard the rumors about him being a cowboy casanova and plan on keeping it professional, but his blue eyes and thick southern drawl make it harder than you planned

Throat Training*

Rafe really likes training your throat hoping that one day he can use it to his full advantage

Let Me Help* (ft Topper and Kelce)

After hearing what JJ and Pope did to Topper, you decide to join in on the plan for revenge. Turns out you like seeing your boys get mean way more than you thought

Princess*

Rafe likes having your throat full. He also really likes making fun of you for it

Lines*

Rafe does lines off your tits

Blurbs

Rafe gets an idea when he sees your silk sleeping mask and it becomes a new thing for you two*

After care with Rafe

Rafe getting you all worked up and mocking your moans*

Car sex with Rafe*

Rafe gets a handjob after you get your nails done and loves how they look gripping his cock*

Rafe likes when you get off on his thigh*

Overstim! With Rafe*

Sub!Rafe*

Comfort!Rafe

“Shh shh baby, I know I know”*

Rafe makes sure you know how much he loves you

Angry Rafe using you to get his frustration out*

Rafe spanking you after you tease him all day*

Getting Rafe’s initials tattooed under your tits*

Mean sex with Rafe*

Rafe x Bimbo!Reader*

Rafe punishes you after you make a snotty comment about his…skills*

Giving Rafe road head*

Reassuring Rafe

JJ catching his kook gf giving Rafe road head*

Trophy wife!Reader

Original trophy wife request*

Rafe gets a blowjob while on the phone*

Rafe spoils you at the spa and finds himself roped into a couples massage*

Rafe fucks you on the new guys desk to show him who you belong since he doesn’t seem to understand*

Rafe buys you a diamond necklace with his name on it

Rafe takes care of the creepy guy that won’t leave you alone at work when things get physical*

Rafe finds your ‘toys’ and uses them against you…literally*

Showering with Rafe quickly turns sexual when he uses the showerhead to his advantage*

You’re jealous of Rafe’s newest business conquest*

The new guy at work treats you like shit not knowing who your husband is*

Rafe keeps his promise of making you beg after the events of the new guy disrespecting you*

Rafe with a breeding kink*

You get hurt at the office and Rafe panics (AKA hurt/comfort)

Teasing Rafe at a business dinner*

Rafe takes care of you while you’re on your period

Taking care of a coked out Rafe

Poly!Kook!Boys x Kook!Reader

How your relationship with the boys started

You tell Rafe he’s your favorite during sex, a little white lie doesn’t hurt anyone*

Growing tired of your bitching when they stop spoiling you for a few days, Rafe teaches you a lesson using his belt*

The boys find out you’ve been lying to them about who’s your favorite and plan their revenge*

The boys handle a pogue that made you uncomfortable. Nobody touches their girl and gets away with it

The boys have a game of who can make you come the most and the hardest, you find out and make your own game*

What the boys do when you take too much coke

The time Topper went too far against your boundaries and your other two boys took care of it (1/2)

The time Topper went too far with claiming you and Rafe got jealous* (2/2)

Pregnancy scare

The boys take care of you after you have a few too many drinks*

The boys doing lines off your body*

Cowboy!Rafe AU

Fluffy/flirty moments with Cowboy!Rafe

You pick flowers for Cowboy!Rafe after a long day at the ranch (blushy and shy Cowboy!Rafe)

[datura-tea]

some ulysses facts

ulysses is not the name he was born with; he named himself after ulysses s. grant

he's from the twisted hairs, a tribe that was forcibly assimilated into the legion after vulpes inculta "pacified" them at dry wells. their history and culture were erased, and some of their people were crucified along interstate 40. the rest were broken, brainwashed, and absorbed into the legion

he rose through the ranks of the meritocratic legion slave army, becoming a frumentarius who worked as an undercover courier for caesar

he was one of the scouts who scouted the hoover dam for the legion

he was walking the wastes when he found the community that would become the divide; there, he found a potential home. until courier six came and delivered a package that blew it all up

in the wreckage of his potential new home, ulysses was saved by medical eyebots who saw the flag on his back and recognized it

he was sent by caesar to become an emissary to the white legs, who tried to honor him by mirroring his hair, which, unbeknown to them, was personal to him, because woven in the braids was ulysses' and his tribe's histories

he left the white legs shortly after they showed him their new hair, fashioned after him - it felt like a hollow mockery of his dead tribe

he defected from the legion after the battle at new canaan, becoming a bighorner herder at wolfhorn ranch and working and roaming he wastes as a courier

he found the big mt by tracking irregular weather patterns, and there he found father elijah and christine royce

he directed father elijah to the sierra madre, knowing elijah would find his death there

he rescued christine and nursed her back to help in a cave, learning about the brotherhood of steel from her. she gave him a recorder, which he used to create the logs that courier six would find along the divide

he spoke with the think tank asked them one question - "who are you, that do not know your history?" - and this shook them, made them remember the old world. they told him about the missiles under the divide

he went back to couriering, finding out that courier six was still alive from johnson nash - he was supposed to deliver the platinum chip but somehow knew it would be trouble, so he passed it on to courier six, hoping that the job would kill them

but discovering that courier six, the person that destroyed his new home, the person that he has been obsessing over for years, was still alive, awoke his desire for revenge against them

he made a plan to teach courier six a lesson about history - his, and theirs, together - and accountability, and how one person can make such a huge impact on the world, even unwittingly

he lured courier six to the divide, to see what they had wrought, and what he has planned

his plan: aim missiles at dry wells and the long 15, two strategic locations that would cut the throats of both the legion and the ncr. whether they launch would be up to the courier after their confrontation

he does not want to nuke the world and kill millions. only two locations that would weaken both warring armies. again, the decision to nuke these locations is up to courier six

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 21: Cowboy!AU/Ranch

love is a cowboy | @deancaskiss Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,183 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Fluff, Kissing, Ranch, Cowboy Dean Winchester, Cowboy Castiel, farm, Horses, Cows, Chickens, Bees, Sunsets, Horseback Riding, Gardening, Teasing, Cowboys Boots, Domestic Fluff, Domestic, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Retirement, Found Family, mentions of Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Gentle Kissing, Boys Kissing, Rough Kissing, French Kissing, Flirting, Castiel/Dean Winchester Flirting, Romance, Rancher Dean Winchester, Rancher Castiel (Supernatural), Picnics, House Hunting, Surprises Summary: Retirement. Something Dean never expected he’d get to have, especially with Cas by his side. But here they are, and Dean knows it’s finally time. After months of searching, when Cas finds them the perfect forever home to make their own, it feels too good to be true. But it’s real. And it’s all theirs to start something new together. What was once bags packed with weapons and salt becomes cowboy boots, baskets of homegrown herbs, and feed for the animals. But Cas knows there’s one part of the hunting business that Dean still needs. Saving things. And luckily Cas knows exactly how to make that happen to turn their ranch into a home to create their own found family.

Wild Blue Iris | @Sunkenfox Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38,818 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Alternative Universe - Western, outlaws, eventual smut, slow burn of sorts, sheriff Sam winchester, gunslinger Dean Winchester, bartender Castiel, period typical violence, period typical racism, tuberculosis, period typical bigotry, Found family, top castiel/bottom Dean winchester, implied/referenced abuse, bandits & outlaws, cowboys, revenge, murder, friends to lovers, bisexual dean winchester, slow build, angst, bittersweet ending, stubborn dean winchester, rimming, anal sex, oral sex, emotional hurt/comfort, emotionally repressed Dean Winchester, Summary: Five years after the Winchester Gang went their separate ways, Dean Winchester retuned home to Seneca with the hopes of seeking revenge for his father’s death. Setting his sights on the vicious leader of the rival gang, the Leviathans, Dean sets off on a journey to bring his family back together for one last ride. But the handsome bartender that joins makes Dean reevaluate nope only the vengeance that fuels him but his own self. Battling his own inner demons, and the truth of what happened to his mother, love beings to grow on the trail, and a mysterious illness that is slowly beginning to plague him.

Winchester 275 | @mittensmorgul Rating: Mature Word Count: 56,666 Main Tags/Warnings: Horses, Horseback Riding, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut, after the requisite pining, accidental almost-nudity in a hot tub, Cowboy Hats , First Kiss, First Time, Cowboy Dean Winchester, Astronomer Castiel (Supernatural) Summary: Seven years after Sam left the family's ranch to attend Stanford, Dean's completely transformed the family's failing cattle business into a growing horse ranch. Sam's only got one condition for coming back home after graduation-- let him have a shot to build something of his own, the same as Dean's done. The catch? Sam and Eileen, along with their architect friend Hannah, want to turn a tiny corner of Dean's slice of heaven into a dude ranch. The land itself might be heaven on earth, but Dean's invested his entire life into it. He'd made his peace with being alone, until he meets Hannah's brother. Castiel is a solar astronomer who is reluctantly coerced into helping his sister charm Sam's gruff and stubborn brother into saying yes to what has become her dream project. He doesn't imagine he'd have anything in common with a cowboy, but he finds that Dean's the one who ends up charming him. Cas won't do anything to jeopardize Hannah's shot at her dream, and Dean is reluctant to put Sam's homecoming at risk. If only Dean and Cas could keep their distance from one another, maybe they could set aside their attraction for the sake of their siblings’ business plans. The heavens seem to have other plans for them…

Of Dust, Gunpowder and Holy Water | @melancholictearz Rating: Mature Word Count: 104,940 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Major Character Death, Western!AU, Vampire!AU, Vampire Hunter Castiel, Outlaw Dean Winchester, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Angst and Fluff Summary: Castiel is a vampire hunter tracking the creature that doomed the rest of his family to damnation. He crosses paths with Dean Winchester, a cocky outlaw wanting to escape from his mysterious past. They travel together all around the West to fulfil Castiel’s revenge, at the cost of Dean’s life… But what happens when Dean comes back wrong from the dead and has become one of the bloodthirsty creatures Castiel always swore to kill?

The Moonlight Rule | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: Explicit Word Count: 129,320 Main Tags/Warnings: Ranch AU, Marriage of Convenience, Slow Burn, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Panic Attacks, Home Invasion, Grief/Mourning, Trauma, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Bottom!Dean/Top!Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Summary: Castiel Novak loves living in Manhattan and feels like he has finally reached a more serene part of his life. After years of hard work at The Lazarus, a boutique luxury hotel, a career opportunity he’s been waiting a long time for presents itself. At last, his problems are behind him. That is until he randomly encounters Henry Winchester, the grandfather of his childhood friend, Dean. Castiel and Dean haven’t seen each other in over ten years. Not since Castiel’s parents stopped visiting the Winchester family ranch. Left somewhat contemplative by this blast from the past encounter, Castiel is then altogether shaken by it when he hears a week later of the sudden passing of Mr. Winchester, as well as the surprising repercussions that come along with it. It seems that their recent and unexpected run-in inspired the late Mr. Winchester to make last minute changes in his will: Dean will only inherit the ranch he’s been running if he marries Castiel and stays married for at least six months.