#rip my 60 bucks

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

i have to skip out on a concert tonight <//3

[deuynndoodles]

the loz horror zine preorders close soon but i desperately want a copy 😭

[bleakbluejay]

a required book for one of my classes is way way out of my price budget, so i had to look for Alternative Methods to get ahold of it... but you see it's a niche particular book that wasn't on any pdf-sharing sites... except for the very last one I looked at. Peace and love on planet earth for whoever uploaded that pdf.

[mercymaker]

this || close to just straight up screaming into a pillow

[shelbgrey]

Maybe something were Sam us the reader's best friend and is overprotective and caring for her and Bucky being the reader's boyfriend for years gets very jealous. Later, they get into an argument and Sam confesses his feelings for the reader. However, the reader chose bucky over Sam and he backs off. It ruins their friendship and it becomes awkward between them.

Treat you better(Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson)

Paring: Rogers!Reader X Sam wilson x Boyfriend!Bucky

Main master list

I won't lie to you, I know he's just not right for you

And you can tell me if I'm off, But I see it on your face When you say that he's the one that you want

And you're spending all your time In this wrong situation, And anytime you want it to stop.

“dose anyone have eyes on (y/n)?” I hear Sam say through the cams.

My boyfriend Bucky's voice was next to speak “Doll, your still in the blast zone! Get your ass to the jet”

A small town just outside of Brooklyn had been bombed and we had to evacuate the area and disabled the bombs and take down the hydra team that atacked. Nat and Steve had gotten the agents into custody and Clint and the others got the civilians to safety. I on the other had was still in the blast zone trying to hack into the database and disabled the bombs.

“(y/n) just get to safety we gotta go!” Tony said in my coms.

As I ran around the Rumble I could feel the ground shake and the booms of the bombs Made my ears ring. The sounds of whimpers made me stop though. It wasn't human and my cirositey and instenc made run towards the crys of help.

It was a small black lab puppy. His brown eyes never left me as I took my pocket knife and cut the wires that was holding him in that one place. I moved some rocks off of him and picked him up. As I ran I heard Bucky's voice cut in and out in my coms.

--------(Bucky's pov)--------

Before we knew it there was nothing but static. We lost connection with y/n coms making my heart pound with fear.

“y/n where are you!” Steve said his voice full of worry. “screw this, I'm going after her” I growled, Tony struggled to stop me as I grabbed my gun ready to go into the blast zone.

“buck stop! Sam go get her” Steve instructed. I ripped my arm out of Steve's grip giving him a glare as Sam nodded and his wings popped out before he went after her.

I pushed Steve to the side. “I could have handled it”

Sam always thought he had to be the hero to her damsel in distress. I had no place to be jealous or angry of y/n choice of best friend. Her and Sam had been best friends longer than we've been dating. Hell her and Sam served in the Army together. But when he had that smug grin as he left to rescue her all I could think about is how hard I need to squeeze his neck before he passes out. But if I hurt him, I hurt her.

I threw my gun down thinking about how much I hate the thought of his hands touching her. The hands that are both flesh and blood and of a hero. Make me think she's better of with him then me, but then she chose me, why? I don't really know but I thank God everyday she did chose me. I thank God she chose to see the good in me.

--------(1st pov)--------

“I'm almost out of the blast radius guys” I yelled into the com as I ran as fast as I could while at the same time holding onto a puppy for dear life. “all most there” but is was too late, I ran into another bomb.

The explosion whipped me about 60 yards from where I was. I did my best to turn my body and land on my back to shield the puppy. My back acked and my leg was soaked in blood. My ears were ringing as my head pounded. The puppy poked his head out of my vest and let out a whimper as he licked my chin.

In a flash I felt my body Being scooped up and token up a couple hundred feet. I faded in and out as Sam carried me to safety.

“Hey, need a lift beautiful?” he said as he held me tight.

“there they I see them!” Peter voice said before Sam flew in and landed on his feet.

We landed in the jet and Sam quickly and carefully set me down. “are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked panic. He held my face examining my face.

“what the hell (y/n), why did you stop?” Bucky said his voice was mixed with worry and anger. He pushed Sam to the side which earned him a glare. Bucky sat down next to me, examining the damage.

“I'm alright buck” I smiled softly. He sighed and rested his forehead on mine. “never do that again”

The extra voices made the puppy poke his head out of my vest. I moving around between us made Bucky look down as the puppy looked up.

“he was trapped” I said as the puppy licked my chin and let out a couple of soft woofs.

Bucky's blue eyes widened but you could see the anger coating them. “you risked your life for a fucking dog?!” he didn't raise his voice like he was mad at me but he sure as hell was worried. “ooh language Barnes” Tony said in the background but no one acknowledged his comment.

“hay, man don't yell at her” Sam said aproching us. Bucky glared at him and clinched his metal arm. I quickly put my hand on his knee keeping from killing my best friend.

“Sam, it's fine” I nodded with a smile. Nat quickly got Sam to come over to the other side of the jet before things got too ugly.

Bucky sighed and got the first aid kit. “I'm sorry Buck” I mumbled hiding my face in the puppy's head as he cleaned up my forehead wrapped. His steal blue eyes softened as he looked at me.

“I'm sorry I snapped at you, I was just worried” he mumbled. I smiled and placed at soft kiss on his lips. The little puppy yelped and put his paws on Bucky.

“jealous?” he teased as he petted the puppy's head. As we had our molment I could have sworn I saw Sam shaking his head with anger. As he did Nat grabed him by the bicep pulling him to clean his cuts and wounds.

Steve eyed Sam as he went to the other side of the jet. Clint told me no casualties were harmed and they were getting rescue teams and agents to the area. I nodded thankful no one got hurt.

Bucky looked up at me and smiled as he set next to me petting the puppy. “what are you going to name him?” he asked as the puppy kicked his hand.

I rested my head on his shoulder and the puppy rested his head on Bucky's knee while his small body rested on my lap. “I don't know, what do you think?”

Bucky looked down at the small puppy as he licked his hand. “how about Elvis?”

I smiled at the thought of the name. Not to many people remember my favorite singer is Elvis presley. This wouldn't be a big deal to anyone else, but people think I just love the harder and faster stuff. But that was just one small detail Bucky never forgot.

“perfect” I said kissing his cheek.

“Tony your gonna let her keep the dog right?” Sam asked. Tony looked shocked at her question.

“of course, why wouldn't I?” he asked looking at me Bucky.

When we landed back at the compound I sat up a little to quickly making me slightly tumble. Bucky was behind me ready to catch me and Sam was quick to be at my side.

“let's get you too the med bay” Sam said. Bucky butted in still keeping me steady. “I got it”

“well you need to get check out too and you know your not allowed on another mission intill you get signed off by Dr. Cho” Sam said taking my arm. I looked between the two as they had their stand off. Elvis yawned getting just as tired of them as I was.

“super soldiers bounce back quickly, don't worry” Bucky said with a sarcastic smile.

“oh I'm not worried about you, just her”

“I think I cand help my girlfriend” Bucky growled.

I sighed and looked at the two nonchalantly “my leg could be bleeding out right now and you guys wouldn't realize it”

“sorry Doll” he glared at Sam as he picked me up bridel style. “let's get you check out”

“this place reeks with testosterone” Nat mumbled as she walked pasted the three of us.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

“looks like your leg will heal up in a few months, I'll put a brace on it but I don't recommend any missions anytime soon” Dr. Cho said as she took care of my leg.

“thanks Cho” Bucky smiled as she handed him my pain meds. After She signed me out Bucky picked me up bridel style again. “let's get you to bed”

I rolled my eyes and patted my thigh so Elvis would follow us to our room.

“don't forget about the party tonight” Tony called out to us as we left. I waved him off. “yeah, yeah”

Once we got to our room he set me down on our bed. “so what now?” I said as our new dog hopped on the bed.

“your gonna rest” he said dumping my pain meds into his metal hand. “take theses” he said handding me them along with some water.

“I'm gonna help Steve with a few things and I'll be right back” he kissed my forehead and grabed his jacket. Before he left he closed the door as soon as he opened it. “and don't go anywhere” he tossed me the remote. “watch some X-Files or something”

“love you doll” he said before leaving. I said and waited for the door to click shut. The sound of his boots got quiter the farther he got away from our room. Once there was no sound of my boyfriend what's so ever I got up and left the room to my lab. “come on Elvis”

I stuck my head out and looked right and left in the hallway. There was no one out there except for Thor. I could easily get passed him dude to him having no knowledge of my experience on the mission.

“Hey Thor” I smiled and walked passed him with Elvis walking behind.

“hello Lady Y/n” he waved happily.

Since It was going to be a while before the party started I snuck into the lab to get some work done. I decided to occupy myself by replying Bucky's gun and Sam's wings.

“hay beautiful” Sam greeted coming to the lab with my favorite drink.

“Hey bub” I smiled as he walked up to me. “hand me that screwdriver, will ya” I said not looking up from his wings. “here”

“you going to the party tonight?” he asked leaning on my work table playing with my tools.

“thought about it” I said lifting his wing pack and clipping it the mannequin that had his suit on it.

“oh come on, it's no party without you” he smirked. I didn't look at him and pulled out my phone with a smile. “Samual punch your suit”

He stopped his usually flirting and looked at the suit with a questioning look. “What?”

“just do it” I said hitting record on my phone. He balled his fist then open his hand back up when he noticed my phone was up. “Wait, are you recording?”

“it's for science” I shrugged nonchalantly.

He put all his force in his punch and the suit flew across the lab. I rolled my eyes and hit pause in the recording. “idiot” I said hoping nothing was broken.

“you said hit it” he said holding his hand out.

“yeah, not through it across the lab” I said wheeling it back to us. I picked my phone up again holding to Sam as the suit started to glow red in some areas.

“what's that?” he asked running his fingers down the glowing lines in his suit. “nanotec... Hit it again”

He did and this time he few backwards like his suit did when he punched it. I started laughing and holding the phone to Sam on the ground. “delete that video”

“na, I don't really feel like It” I said slipping the phone into my back pocket. Sam raised an eyebrow and got up with a smile.

“delete it” he said.

I shrugged and took oof. He ran after me. “your gonna get it now” he ran after me and circled around the table. Eventually he cornered me and grabbed me from behind. He spung me around while trying to grab my phone. He failed after I tossed it on Bucky's vest that need stitches.

Our battle was cut short by Friday. “miss y/n, Mr. Barnes as 'ordered' you to come back to your corters... It sounded urgent ma'am”

Sam rolled his eyes and set me down. “oh I'm sure it is”

I sighed. “he's just worried about me”

Sam crossed his arms and looked down. “yeah I know”

“see ya at the party” I patted his shoulder and left the lab as Bucky walked in to fix a kink in his arm. His flesh arm balled into a fist as he watched Sam check me out as I left. Bucky didn't say anything just used his assassin skills to silently follow Sam out of the lab to our floor.

~~~~~~~~(3rd pov)~~~~~~~~

“looking for something?” Bucky asked Sam. Sam whipped around and stood there like a deer in a pair of headlights.

“thought Friday said you need her 'assistance'?” Sam snapped. Bucky crossed his arms. “I did... She didn't show up so I got worried”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “she's not something you can control” Bucky glared at him as he made a very false assumption.

“excuse me?” he walked up to sam, fists balled together.

“you heard me” Bucky pushed him back after the comment. “she almost got blown to smithereens today so yeah I got worried”

“Sure” Sam mumbled.

“what's your damn problem” Bucky said grabbing Sam's shoulder. Sam whipped back and threw Bucky's hand off of him.

“you know what my problem is?” Sam snapped. “my problem is I haven't stopped thinking about her since the day we met, that I'm fantastically, over the top, wanna slit my own throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck she chose you!” Sam shouted.

Bucky's eyebrow knitted together as he shook his head. He didn't want to sound like the duch bag boyfriend that was territorial, but his worst fear is losing her. Hydra could come back after him and it would still hurt less.

Bucky didn't have to say anything he looked up and he saw her and her wide eyes. “Sam...” she said breathless.

Sam's eyes widened as he whipped around to see his best friends shocked face. “I... I didn't... I mean I did”

She sighed and looked at her boyfriend. “Buck... Give us a molment” Bucky nodded getting nervous.

Once Bucky left y/n jesters Sam to continue. Sam shrugged and slapped the side of his leg. “What do you want me to say?”

She frowned. “you can't come to me and just decided you love me... You don't get to do that”

“why not? It not fair to just keep it bottled up” Sam said defensively.

“I love Bucky! You know I love him, I've loved him for a long time”

“well I've loved you longer!” Sam shouted. He sighed and his voice got softer. “and I know you got feelings for me too... I can feel it”

He moved closer to her with hop in his eyes. He placed his hand on her cheek looked into her eyes. “Sam..” She warned and backed up.

“we've been through so much together” he whispered and got closer again. “please give me a chance” he leaned in and placed his lips on hers. She backed up as soon as the made contacted. His eyes went wide as she pushed him away from her.

Y/n sighed and looked down. “Sam... Your my friend and I want it to stay that way”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

It was almost time for the party so I went to change into something nice. I heard shouting the closer I got to mine and Bucky's floor. The anger and the ruckus made me quicken my pace.

“if you ever touch her again I swear to god!” Bucky said holding Sam by the callor of his shirt, slamming him into the wall.

I ran up to them and tried to break it up before it got ugly. “guys...”

“look man-” Sam started.

“keep your hands off her!” Bucky said.

“guys” I said fermly. Bucky ignored me and punched Sam in the jaw. I grabbed Bucky's metal arm and pulled him back. He pushed me away gently and lunged for him but didn't get the chance. Steve ran over separating the two men.

“knock it off both of you!” Steve said sternly. He help Sam up. “Sam, take a walk” Steve pointed the opposite direction of us. Sam looked down guilty and left.

“buck, what happened” Steve asked.

“none of your damn business” Bucky mumbled and left. I quickly ran after him to our room.

“Bucky talk to me” I said walking into our room. He sighed rubbing his forehead. “James, I'm so sorry” I said. His eyes softened as he looked back at me.

“no Doll... It's just Sam, I hate how touchy he is with you... And that kiss was the last straw” I raised an eyebrow. This was the first time he's ever voiced his opinion about our friendship. I knew the two never got along and that kiss distroyed any chance of them being friends, but this was different. The thought of Bucky thinking I would leave him for Sam hurt. I walked up to him looking him in the eyes.

“you know I love you right? Me and Sam are friends nothing more and that kiss ment nothing” I placed my hands on his stubbled cheeks holding his face.

His hand found mine and softly pulled them away. “I know It didn't, but that's not problem” this voice slightly rose. “he just doesn't want to be your friend” I looked down knowing his was right... That kiss opened my eyes of Sam's true feelings.

“I always hated the way he looked at you”He shook his head ripping his tie off his jacket off and throwing it in our closet. “he's just waiting for me to screw up so he can have a chance with you”He turned his back to me.

I sighed and quickly turned him back towrds me. “look at me” I whispered, he did.

“I will always choose you” I kissed his nose.

“I love everything about you and your the perfect man for me” I placed my lips on his kissing him with as much passion I could muster.

His flesh hand cupped my cheek deeping the kiss.“What did I do to deserve such an amazing woman like you?” he asked, picking me up then laying me on our bed. As soon as my back hit the mattress his lips trailed down my neck leaving soft kisses. I let out a soft moan and ran my fingers through his short hair.

He smiled against my neck. “I'm gonna make sure he knows your mine” he said biting my neck softly as we fell into the thrones of passion.

~later that night-

Later that night I changed into a black laced dress. It was short and framed my body perfectly. Me nor Bucky weren't up for partying anymore but Bucky changed into a nice all black suite and went with me anyway. He held his gorgeous smile for me and held my hand as we surfed the waves of people that crashed into the compound we called home.

As we walked around I held his hand tight afraid to lose him the swarm of people. We greeted some friends on the way, but usually we keep to our selves during things like this. Usually we set in a corner together making fun of Tony's up tight rich CEO 'friends'.

But Bucky had different plans tonight. As Eric Carmen's Hungry Eyes started to play Bucky pulled me to the dance floor. He twirled me around once and pulled me to his chest as I let out a soft laugh.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as we swayed to the music. His steal eyes looked down at me and smiled softly. “I'm sorry about earlier”

“me too” I sighed. He quickly shook his head. “you did nothing wrong Doll” he said. I felt lucky to have him and his trust. I felt so afraid he'd blame for that kiss like my last boyfriend would have probably done.

“he's been my friend for years... I never knew he like me” I said. I them smiled up at him. “I was pretty much smitten when I first saw you”

He chuckled. “even if I was this bran washed, scruffy Super soilder try to kill you and Natasha?”

I laughed into his shoulder. “oh yeah... You have me hooked from the start”

He spung me around again and playfully dipped me and pulled me back up. “trust me the feeling was mutual... The purest thing I'd seen in a long time”

His steel eyes never left mine as we swayed to the music. “I thank God everyday you didn't give up on me”

His lips found mine and kissed me softly. He groaned and pulled away when he heard someone walk up to us. We looked and saw Sam standing there awkwardly. “What do you want wilson?” Bucky asked as he slightly stood infront of me keeping space between me and Sam.

“I want to apologize to her” he said pointing towards me. Bucky looked over at me, asking for consent. I nodded walk up next to Bucky so there was nothing shielding me from Sam. I sighed and looked at Bucky.

“Bucky can you get us something to drink?” he nodded and kissed me on the cheek. He glared at Sam as he walked away.

Sam cleared his throat and held his hand out. “care to dance?”

We'd used to dance together all the time. It was always crazy and uncoordinated. Nothing like the loving dances I'd have with Bucky. I nodded, giving my Best friend another chance. I put my hands on his shoulder and his fell to my waist. The dance was awkward, or like a middle school dance you'd have when your forced to keep your distance from your date.

���I'm sorry about the kiss...” Sam said too afraid to look me in the eyes. “all I ever wanted to do is make you happy... But now all that matters to me is that you are happy even if it's with someone else”

I looked up at him and stoped dancing with him. The closeness that was once normal and comfortable was now weird and different. I couldn't just dance around with him while Bucky is somewhere else.

“your friendship means everything to me but...”

“I screwed it all up, didn't I?” he finished.

I sighed and looked at him sadly. “it's weird now... Knowing you thought about me like that, you know how many times I came to with boy problems or just problems in general? I can't do that now”

“what can I do? I can't lose you” Sam said sticking his hands in his pockets. I sighed and looked at him. “you need to earn my trust again, but right now we need space”

He nodded just as Bucky came up to us handing me a Coke. “take care of her Barnes... You guys are perfect for each other” he mumbled the last part before walking away with what ever pride he had left.

[bcolfanfic]

hi! i have a question for ur young vets au cause i love to discuss the practicality behind things and i’ve been thinking about this LOL. when josie first shows up to buck and bucky, she’s obviously quite young and like u and that anon were discussing she needs to rely on buck and bucky for a lot of things. is it easy for them all to fall into that pattern or is it a bit stilted and awkward at first? buck and bucky have obviously never raised a child before and all of a sudden here’s this little girl who needs to depend on them for a lot. does josie feel comfortable getting their help, or are things like baths and such difficult to deal with at first?

a fun fact about me is that since i was 13/14 ive followed the like- the foster parent niche of mommy blogs. a lot of them i still follow to this day and it’s wild bc they borderline feel like extended members of my family since i essentially *grew up* watching their families growing ie seeing their post about a kids first day and *years* later adoption day posts. i’m working on another phone pov for gale right now and one of his lock screen notifs is a post notif from one of them LOL. *that to say*

from what ive gathered when you’re having children in your home through the foster system- whether you’re just going to be foster parent generally or are only going the waiting-child route you’re required to take a certain amount of classes through the county/the agency you’re working with. (in some places it’s about 60-80 hours of class overall). because yeah it is a bit like ripping the bandaid off having kids through foster care/adoption vs raising a baby from infancy! so they have that.

i know ive said bucky clicks with josie faster/gale takes a little longer to find his footing with everything- and in my head that turn out was a very expectations vs reality thing.

like, bucky was a nervous wreck and gale was the one telling him it was going to be alright. but then when she actually moved in their nervous systems like, swap?

re: josie i think she’s understandably a little nerved out at first. but they aren’t her first placement straight out the situation cps removed her from- so she’s not a stranger to being in the care of strangers (💔).

i think it being a home with two men eases her nervous system a little too since a lot of her history is with her mom/her moms friends. bless her sweet little heart. her social worker tries to explain in 4 year old talk that this is it- they’re going to be her parents forever, no more moving. and understanding that the best she can helps too. ❤️‍🩹

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley -- July 2024

welp this one will be short because due to the hurricane i did not watch or play shit except for things that i had already bought tickets to months in advance

what i watched this july (both 2024 releases): Fly Me To The Moon, Deadpool & Wolverine

what i played this july: Tropico 4 (2011)

Deadpool & Wolverine

i bought tickets for this in like. april or may and then proceeded to block everything marvel related on every platform ever to avoid spoilers so i went into this near completely blind. and it was pretty okay! it definitely felt like a disney-ification of deadpool movies in the sense that the budget is now way higher and they have these huge multiverse stakes now but otherwise it was just logan and wade having gay sex for two hours which was really bold i think.

jokes aside i just thought it was Fine. vanessa is still not a real character and they broke up offscreen and also we didn't get to see negasonic or yukio that much but at least tj miller wasn't in it heart emoji. i feel like i cant talk abt anything else w/o spoiling anyways when HE came onscreen i lost my goddamned mind 65/100 this wouldve been a 60/100 but his appearance elevated it by 5 points his aura was fucking insane

Fly Me To The Moon

this one was Also fine. the comedy hit for me like 7 out of 10 times but the romance, not so much, and the movie is like 20 minutes longer than it needs to be but honestly even if i didn't walk away going "wow movie of the year", i guess i'm just glad that movies like these can make it to theaters instead of being dumped directly on netflix.

that being said this thing has flopped. why does this have a budget of 100 million fucking dollars. i feel like this could've been made for like at least 20 million dollars cheaper where did all that budget go. it certainly wasn't marketing because i feel i barely saw marketing for this movie i only saw it cuz im a freak who looks out for movie ticket deals at my local theater. whatever even if it was made cheaper it definitely wasn't gonna make its budget back so rip i kind of hope that godforsaken it ends with us movie makes big bucks at the box office if ONLY because i do not want movies like these to just die out at the box office. whatever. it was okay i would maybe watch it with my parents if we were bored 55/100

Tropico 4 (2011)

i am the worlds worst el presidente i have tried and failed to make a communist utopia 5 times but surely it will work the 6th time and my citizens will love me and erect statues in my honor

[motherfuckermorgan]

sonic superstars thoughts

well twitter might've made the final bozo move that'll effectively kill it so i guess instead of even bothering to update my video games thread i'll just start posting thoughts here, if i've got interesting things to say. ended up having more to say than i thought so this one'll be under a read more

sonic superstars is a weird game where i think it kind of doomed itself in the public's eyes by both being a followup to sonic mania and being a $60 video game. i don't really take into account prices of video games when giving my thoughts on this kind of thing usually, because if you're patient enough you can usually snag them for a good price or you know, sail the seven seas. but i do think it's hard to ignore the jump from a 20 buck game to a 60 buck game. sonic superstars most certainly has more budget behind it, but other than that i'd say right off the bat that this is VERY strongly a "Wait for a sale" type game unless you're an insane sonic head like me.

so like. the thing with this game vs sonic mania. this game is not better than mania. if you're expecting that you're gonna be disappointed. i do still think it's a good classic game! but mania is a tough standard to beat, especially from a team like arzest that admittedly hasn't had the best track record in the world. they don't seem like an untalented studio, but it does seem like they're rarely given the budget or time to squeeze out their full potential. sonic superstars is easily their best effort by far, and it's not even close. the fact that they made a good platformer and not a mediocre one is a damn miracle.

the control and physics are pretty much straight up ripped from mania, which was the right thing to do. there was concerns that this was gonna be a Sonic 4 situation where it feels miserable to control, but nah, you move like you'd expect to in a classic sonic game. this is a HUGE boon to the game because it feels so much better and more authentic than a lot of other 2d sonic games. it's one of the couple of reasons i'd put this over the dimps games, even! not that i have no love in my heart for advance or rush, but mania controlled like a dream and this does too.

the level design is alright, though it definitely feels more safe? there's some fun gimmicks here and there but they don't feel like anything especially crazy. thank fucking god this doesn't have the dimps problem of bottomless pits all over the place, so even if you're playing a bit risky with the drop dash you're more likely to bash your head into spikes than an instakill obstacle.

i will say that the level THEMES are a step above mania, 100%. i love mania but it really is held back by having familiar level themes, reminding you that Green Hill and Chemical Plant exist, and you will never truly be free of them. i think superstars is the first sonic game in years to not reuse level themes (aside from the battle mode, apparently) which, god. even frontiers couldn't resist putting in familiar zone. it's honestly a really cool aspect of this game! i got to play a sonic game where i'd go into a level and it'd be something new! obviously they still follow archetypes like "Grass" "Snow" "Water" etc etc but it's nice to see some sort of attempt at original theming. it's something i respect the team a lot for, given sonic's constant need to draw from the past.

a sour point of the levels is easily the bosses. i think your mileage will vary on these. i didn't think they were That Bad, but other people find them to be complete slogs. you do a good amount of waiting around for the weak point to be exposed, and by the end of the game, some bosses are taking up nearly as much time as the levels themselves, with the final boss being WAY longer. at least i could entertain myself by drop dashing around the arena, but i'd imagine i'd have more fun getting in a constant stream of hits.

the music in this game is also... fine? there's some good tracks in there but there's also a bunch of tracks that are a bit slop. it's mostly the genesis sounding tracks. whenever this game wants to sound like a genesis game it sounds bad. the boss theme being probably the worst song in the game which, given that most people already dont like the bosses, is damning.

i do like the art direction of this game a lot, i think sonic and company look great! i definitely enjoy this look for classic sonic over how he looks in generations/forces. there's a lot of really cute animations for each character as well. there are some pretty cheap looking animations, which i noticed on the game's big flickies the most. i remember hearing a lot of people say the backgrounds felt empty, but i guess i didn't notice it that much? probably easier to get that vibe when you're not zooming across the level.

ive enjoyed my time with this game and im sure i'll continue to enjoy it as i continue to replay it. it's not classic sonic's best, but it's a game that does a lot right, and shows a great improvement for a studio who's track record is typically considered subpar. i will say, after mania, it's hard Not to think superstar's 60 dollar price tag is steep. but i'm sure you'll find your favorite method to not pay that much for this game. well, good luck out there

[stevestonbike]

Two days to go to RBC WGF.

I am pretty wound up. I hope I can sleep Friday night.

I beat my August Goal with klicks to spare.

But I do not want to talk about that actually.

Last night I watched the TV News for the first time in a very long time. There were the usual stories of death destruction and war. They like to end the shows with an upbeat item. Last night it was some rich guy in California trying to arrest the aging process.

Hey I am old and I can appreciate this. The presenter said he was in his mid 40s. He gets blood transfusions from his teenage son. He takes hundreds of pills (supplements) every day. He eats very little and works out a lot. I mean a LOT. All this costs him 2 million bucks a year.

He is what Californians call ripped. Yup he works out. Has a fancy gym and semi-medical lab in his home. He does not look mid forties, he looks older. I will say that if I had to guess his age I would put it mid-late 50s or so. But I confess to being very bad at that.

He has a strange complexion and not wrinkles really so much as tightness that contrasts with a young persons skin texture. He follows a strict regime of life including many technical tests over each day. He goes to bed early and wakes up early. There was precious little mention of if he works or is one of those post-successful millionaires who don't have to.

I do not remember the exact numbers as he spit them out. His heart was so old, his organs another number, he confessed one ear was equal to a 64 year old man's, but overall he was 10 to 15 years younger than his calendar age. Success!

Hey wait a minute.

I do not have a fancy lab or gym in my house. I take a multi-vitamin. I ride my bike a reasonable amount. Really only reasonable not like some people I know. My Garmin Fitness computer says my fitness age is more than 30 years less than my calendar age. That is 3 zero years younger.

It rates my VO2 Max at 42 today. It varies over the year and is best about now. It is from that figure it gets my equivalent age for a moderately fit man of mid 30s years of age. I am late 60s and a certified senior.

If I were to meet this person I think many would call me out as younger, though not ripped (but for my legs). I have virtually no wrinkles on my face, but my hands show signs of that. The gray hair of my beard is prominent, I have wisps of gray on either side of my temples. What hair sits on the rest of my head has no grey at all. My brother has a full head of dark hair and he is older. Yes I am jealous, but my wife was prettier than his.

Good genes are probably the cause. Our parents lived to their 90s and did not keep fit even a bit. I think I age more slowly than most. That is a good thing as I must still work to pay for stuff.

So if you are not a millionaire and want to live much longer buy a bike and ride the thing three times a week. Have fun and make friends.

Oh and do at least one long ride every year.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

Okok so I looked into the Toxic Psychosis thing and it’s essentially just another way of saying/describing an episode of psychosis triggered or caused by chemicals or toxins in the system. And can be caused by anything from alcohol to opioids, other toxins that could have made it into ur system, and is also used to describe an episode of psychosis caused by an adverse reaction to a prescribed medication.

So in summary it just looks like it’s a quicker way of differentiating between a chemically/toxin induced episode and other instances of psychosis. Which really isn’t as bad as I thought it would be now that I’m looking into it, esp since I thought is was gonna be some other (much more derogatory) bs.

_________________________________

Tbh I don’t know if my psychiatrist even wanted to talk to me LMFAO

She charged a FUCK TON per appointment and every time it was always some poor student/intern (rip) that would actually talk to me & take notes before I even SAW my psychiatrist, and then she would ask like yes/no questions for five minutes- And then she’d end the zoom call

And tbh I think I’d rather try and deal with that Psychyatrist again over one that tries to re diagnose everything during the very first appointment lol

Also I did mention the Chest Pain! That and the other weird symptoms I was dealing with are what got her to take me seriously which was a relief. She had me do an EKG that same appointment and had me do some bloodwork - which came back pretty normal

Still debating how much effort I’m willing to put in to get this fixed though, especially since I haven’t been having any super bad symptoms recently. And I feel like it’s maybe not as bad as it feels???? but then again I haven’t been up in that fuckin mountain for the past few months, and that altitude could be what was making everything feel way worse.

We’ll probably just have to wait and see what happens when I go back up 👍

-💛

OOOHHHH ok that makes a lot of senss (the toxic psychosis thing)

also OOIHHHHB MY GOD FUCK THAT PSYCHIATRIST why are psychiatrists so mother fucking mean holy shit. this is why im antipsych

also good that u got taken serioisly!!!!! if the symptoms arent causing too much distress, its not worth speedrunning back to the office but i do think its smtb u need to get checked out, esp since ur tachycardia is worse than mine!!

btw, do u have a home blood pressure monitor? bc its a good investment, ull be able to see if ur blood pressure is high and stuff and then u can tell the doctors if it is. they take that stuff pretty seriously (if they dont SUCK!!!!!) and my machine was only like. 60 bucks iirc

also if ur suffering from symptoms sybdrome and a little voice tells u its not as bad as u think, DONT LISTEN TO IT!!!! thats the DEVIL talking!!!!

[heartfucksmouth]

just crying some more bc along with the termite damage and rotting sub floors, the kitchen tiles had original 60s vinyl flooring underneath, so they have to rip that up as well. Myles mom had the audacity to say if they knew it would be so expensive, they would have put it off another year (yeah the plans to replace the floor started in um 2020) but she had the balls to ask us for rent this week - even tho we can't stay there- and justified it by saying they had to pay for the new heating vents that they had to get rid of. I just... I fucking hate her at this point.

I hate how both sets of our parents do nothing but deny reality and have no sense of preventative measures or planning. just wait until everything is on fire before trying to fix something.

I'm even more angry bc I cannot fully express my anger or raise my blood pressure or I'll end up in the hospital for the next 6 weeks. it's so unhealthy for me to keep suppressing this shit, but it's shit that should not be happening in the first place. it's not even our goddamn house and we have no say in any of it even though we pay 800 bucks a month to his parents just to live in our bedroom and feel we're in the way if we use the kitchen/bathroom. and I still cannot get over that they WAITED TO DO A FLOORING PROJECT TIL I WAS 30 WEEKS PREGNANT.

I don't even want to see Myles moms face. I'm at the point that if I never see either set of parents again, I'm okay with it. they are literally so toxic and make me feel fucked up. I want my own place with Myles and my baby and I want to be left alone.

[penname-artist]

If anyone's read 'More Bang for Your Buck'/'Privacy Lesson', I've been doing some thinkin' on this trans Blade deal. I have a few headcanons to this variant I wanna add in:

He's likely a little tiny bit shorter than his main version, so instead of 5'11" he might be more like 5'9"

He has had a top surgery at this point and been on the ol' T for a good bit, but I don't think he'd have done bottom surgery yet. And that's probably not a money thing, that's probably a time thing - regardless of version, Blade's worked to his wit's end.

The story itself likely takes place pretty early compared to the time of the film, so all of them may be significantly younger than they are in typical fics. Not sure if you'd call 50s and 60s "young" but that's probably where they're all at roughly, Blade maybe even the late 40s

There's probably a handful of really really subtle differences in his body from main style Blade; he still has a muscular build, but he'd probably have slightly softer features. (Still no stubble, that's not advisable when you need to be able to wear an oxygen mask.)

Legit have no idea whether Nick would have also been trans male in this universe. Both cases feel interesting and worth exploring. I may just go with cis though, since everyone else is unchanged. Well, except for Dusty, possibly. It's a thought I'm toying with.

Honestly this series is also making me think, I really need to just like, have more gendery shit in my WoC fics. My Planes content is strongly dominated by cis males (and ironically, The Paper Guard with cis females) but I want more diverse genders to just have and play with. I am ashamed I have no non-binary characters in my WoC pile, I only have Spade in TPG. As well, I think the only headcanonical trans character I have is Rip Clutchgoneski, who is a closeted trans female. I have done one fic, which is so sad :')

But something might come down the line if I get good character inspiration. Been a little weak on fics lately because of being busy and tired and bleh. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

[thursdaynights]

This one isn’t getting stuck in the mud this year !

How boring it is to be sad at home. ☝🏽NTS: I am minimizing my own depression and that’s not helping anyone. One of my birthday resolutions is to not do this anymore. I would never do this to a friend so why am I treating myself like that? It’s the same way my parents treated me when I came to them with this and I don’t need to keep that up. I can treat myself to the same compassion I give freely to everyone around me. I can give myself the love I so easily pour out of my heart of literally everyone and everything else. Im allowed to have some of that, too. This depression is heavy but I’m not going to find a way out of this just looking in the spot my eyes land when my head is hanging.

My list of Birthday resolutions for the Sacred Age:

Start a religion

Amass at least 12 followers

Have one that’ll betray me

Upset the Romans

Get crucified

RISE AGAIN, HANDS AT THE READY.

Pay off my credit card debt ✅

Do better at not letting that pile up 👀

Start treating myself like a friend

Go to the doctor’s and get my stomach checked out

Solidify daily routine that will allow me to better manage my time.

Maybe start going to a gym to work out. Or take a boxing class. My favorite way to work out is when I am using my body for something that it would do naturally like hiking or getting into a fight. What I would lOVE to do is get into competitive wood cutting. And archery. I am pretty ok with a bow and even more solid with an axe. Recruit me.

With everything that has happened in the last couple months, I am very proud that I got the things done that I needed done like filing my taxes, updating my car registration, and updating my address on my license and voter registration as well as updating the addresses on all my bank accounts. I went to the dentist and got a clean bill of health, too. I know that may seem mundane for anybody else but I am somebody who becomes paralyzed if there are enough important feeling, time sensitive tasks on my to do list. It’s scary and I know it’s executive dysfunction rearing it’s head and it doesn’t make it any easier that the people I leaned on for advice in the past made me feel worse for asking them for help. To help avoid that being put down feeling (what eventually leads to the paralysis), I ripped everything off and did as much of it as I can by myself. Instead of relying on my dad and his CPA to file my taxes, I did it myself on HRblock and got the same return I got last year all for free.I had no idea my taxes were this easy to file. My dad has always made it seem like some boogeyman situation where if I did it wrong, I’ll immediately go to jail. But, I found it was pretty easy to do your taxes correctly and that if you’re trying to do some fucky shit, that’s the complicated bit and that’s on you- speaking on trying to justify deductions to get more of a return. I’m not out here trying to get back more than what I’m owed but I do understand filing your taxes can become more complicated If you have to report things like a mortgage payments or any expenses related to work or volunteering service, or if you’re anything other than a W2. Up to right now, that’s not me and I’ve never needed anything fancy in that regard. I was going through the flowery motions for no good reason. Same with my move, my dad has always been the one to provide a truck and some workers (reluctantly) whenever any of his kids needed to move, but I didn’t want to do that this time to avoid the feeling of being an obligation to him. I rented a truck myself and between me and the guy we hired, we had everything out of my apartment in one sweep. I made one trip to my new studio in less than two hours I paid 60 bucks for the truck, enjoyed the fuck out of driving the box truck myself 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠, and returned it without issue. Moving expenses were at most 260 bucks.

There’s a lot more to get done and I am still very lost in this place. But, I’ve got my hands out now and I’m starting to feel my way around.

I need to remind myself of how much ground I’ve covered, though. From 2020 on it’s been nothing but a freefall.

I cannot disregard all of the movement I made between 2019 and now. It’s just hard to have a bookmark visible on that progress when my entire identity was leveled in 2022. 2022 was the repacking and leveling of a foundation that I will build on with plans of my own design. No more cookie cutter houses. No more following someone else’s idea for m y life. If I want to do something, I will check in with ((myself)) and move on that advice. I will seek professionals in the field I am drawn to and find mentors. Apply myself. I have a life to dedicate to something. I’d like to that be a life of learning about the world I live in. It’s a wonder and I find absolute joy in watching and learning how things exist together.

And trees. This bitch l o v e s trees. Im going to bring more trees in my life.

[dill-pickel-the-comic]

I bought 30 CDs for $30

TLDR: Me and some friends went to this record store (I forgot the name) and there they sold packs of CDs by genre for 10 bucks. 10 CDs for $10. I bought 3 of these packs, 1 alt rock, and 1 80s Hard Rock, and 1 new age pack. I honestly thought that this was going to be an ass purchase. I thought I was going to hate most of the songs and projects I bought but I'm 5 albums in and this has been a really fun experience.

Yapping section:

Me and my friends are really into music and have always sorta fetishized the idea of walking into a record store and buying something you've never heard of and listening to it. So this was that idea on overdrive, they way the packs were packages you couldn't even see the covers of the CDs, just the titles. Most of them are into vinyl but personally I think there overpriced compared to CDs. Plus CDs are so human sized, I cant explain what that statement means it just makes sense in my head. I have always been into a variety of music from different ages, and I have a lot of fun just listening to new music. But I don't like just listening to the most popular music a genre has to offer, I want the weird and experimental stuff that people don't talk about. That just made prospect of random bottom of the barrel never sold and pre owned cd packs for cheap so appealing (and why I dumped $30 on them).

I know its dumb to do so but honestly I had only a vague idea of how I was going to actually hear these songs. I had to do a lot of bullshit just to be hear them in the CD forms. I looked up the one's that I have listened to up to this point and most of them are available on Spotify, and if not in some form on YouTube. But I was really suborned about wanting to listen to them in there CD form. Its not hard to get a hold of a CD player or anything, or even expensive to get something to rip the CDs straight onto my computer. My dad used to be really into CDs and said it wouldn't be hard for him to go by my grandma and grandpa's house to go pick his old stuff up (which I might still ask to do). But what I did is grad this old Blu-ray disk reader and connected it to my monitor. The only problem is that I don't have any speakers and had to figure out a way to make the things make noise. After 30 minutes I came to the realization that my monitor actually had a audio input. So I was legit able to plug in my headphones in directly and avoid all the complicated algebra I was doing to listen to some potentially mid Alt Rock.

I don't want to jinx myself because right now all I have been listening to is the 10 alt rock CDs, alt rock being a genre that I actually have some experience with and know I enjoy. Unlike new age, and 80s hard rock which I have never listened to. I expected to have some of these CDs damaged and the pack that I am the most afraid of hating and or not working is new age (which if you don't know was a movement from like the mid 60s to the mid 80s (but mostly focused around the 70s) so damage and disk rot is almost to be expected for these 50+ year old CDs. But hay I am having a lot of fun hearing these projects, and so far I have only disliked one CD.

I want to make comics and post them and I'm thinking of trying out what I want them to be, maybe Ill make some of my more funny takes on these albums into comics. But I like the idea of posting reviews and written first impressions on what I have listened to. I'm going to keep it 100, I'm a lazy and inconstant artist and I don't like binding myself to one medium. Writing (on a small scale) is a lot faster than painting or drawing so despite my name you should probably going to be doing 98% blob posts.

[baku-usagi]

My fiance and his mom got me a Lil combo gift situation.

She got me studio clip paint and he got me a very very nice and pricey drawing tablet.

I am struggling because I have a genuine intolerance for learning new things as an extremely burnt out autistic adult.

These gifts are wonderful but I've been drawing with a little no screen waccom tablet that cost like 60 bucks?

I plug it in and stare at my laptop screen while I draw with it on mylap lmfao 😂😭

I've also been using krita, and only wanted software for animation specifically (I was infact looking at procreate dreams but I guess that's an apple only product?)

The new software feels both lacking and also extremely overwhelming. I am struggling not to have a massive tantrum everytime I use it, and I cannot handle things with learning curves.

I feel like I am skill regressing and the skill is specifically being able to learn new things.

I feel ungrateful and awful. But everytime I try to use this very high tech tablet I have to struggle not to literally rip my own hair out in a frustrated melt down.

Any tips? Tricks? Work around for this? I feel like if I can just Power through this, and figure out the new tech and the new software I'll end up liking it better, but right now as a change adverse autistic adult in severe burnout I am struggling :(

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (Last week of Year 3!)

4 Fascinating documentaries:

🍿 The Love Of Movies- The Story Of American Film Criticism, a light 2009 documentary about the first 100 years of (mostly print) criticism, from the silent era to the Internet. Narrated in somehow outdated intonation, still it provided interesting background and details to a story I know well, but not completely. 8/10.

🍿 “The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.”

I've never seen the show, so the quality documentary Smothered: The Censorship Struggles of the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was all new to me. How a folksy charming comedy show got too edgy for network television at the end of the 60's. Actual victims of cancel culture.

RIP, Tom Smothers, Musician and Scourge of CBS Censors!

🍿 "We had a blast out in the desert. Everybody was getting loaded, and grass was 30 bucks a kilo...”

Let's get lost, a jazzy, impressionistic 1988 riff about my favorite smoky balladeer, trumpeter Chet Baker, made just before he fell to his death from a second story balcony in an Amsterdam hotel. The tortured "Prince of Cool", speedball-addict, James Dean lookalike player whose feminine singing style was one of a kind.

I'd much rather listen to Chet Baker & Bill Evans's 'Legendary Sessions', or any of his other recordings, than this hero-worshiped, free-wheeling Cinéma vérité footage.

But now I want to see 'All the Fine Young Cannibals' which was inspired by Baker's life.

🍿 Agnès Varda's 1968 piece of agitprop, Black Panthers, shot in Oakland during the 'Free Huey' campaign. Worth watching.

🍿

Werner Herzog's stunning masterpiece, Aguirre, the Wrath of God, an unforgiving descent into folly and madness. The plundering conquistadors lost in the jungle and barely navigating rickety rafts on the wild rapids. Heart of Darkness epic at the end of the world.

(Photo Above).

🍿

My masterpiece, a smart Argentinian drama about a lifelong friendship between two older gentlemen, a grumpy painter who doesn't give a shit and his worldly art dealer/manager, who carries him through. 7/10.

🍿

"you're gonna do great"

My 4th of Nicole Holofcener's works, You hurt my feelings. A small, intelligent story about always trying to make people feel better. A writer overhears her husband confessing to her brother-in-law that he hates her new book, even though he always assures her how much he loves it. Pleasant enough, NYC based drama, but eventually only a mild take. With David Gross. 6/10

🍿

The Philadelphia Story, a famous screwball 'Comedy of remarriage', a genre popular in the 1930s and 1940s. It circumvented The Production Code of the day which found stories about divorce too "scandalous". Katharine Hepburn was a socialite named Tracy Lord (No connection...), and she had to choose between three suitors the day before her second wedding. She also has a smart-ass little sister who sings "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady".

More Jimmy Stewart in a new Nerdwriter essay, comparing a scene from 'A shop around the corner' with the same scene at 'You've got mail'.

🍿

Re-watch: Children of Men, a chilling, retro-futuristic dystopian thriller set in totalitarian 2027, which is frighteningly similar to our own late-capitalist, repressive nightmare. Bleak saga of the youngest baby in the world, a world full of hatred, hopelessness, and Abu Ghraib. Only 4 years away... 10/10.

[I was going to follow this up with Shoot ’Em Up, another gritty action movie from same year 2007 and which also starred Clive Owen as a drifter who rescues a newborn from being killed by assassins. But it was so shoddily-made, I lasted exactly 2 minutes...]

🍿

The very first avant-garde film from 1921, Lichtspiel Opus I, made by German experimental filmmaker Walther Ruttmann.

🍿

"Find the seed... Shape the soil... Speed the harvest..."

I'm always looking for an excuse to watch Michael Clayton again. Too bad that this time is because Arthur Edens died (in real life).

The laconic "janitor", after an all night poker game, stops his Benz to look at horses.

One of my all-time favorite thrillers, with a perfect script and tight dialogue. His use of euphemisms, so understated, so deep in the weeds.

If anybody knows a more compact thriller, please let me know.

RIP, Tom Wilkinson, Shiva, the God of Death!

🍿

I didn't get the Chilean magical realist fable The Cow Who Sang a Song Into the Future, by first time director Francisca Alegría. It opens like a dreamy 'Man who fell to earth' symbolism, with a drowned woman emerging from the depths of the river, where she may or may not had committed suicide decades ago. Dead fish float, flock of birds form murmurations, and an estranged family behave strangely in the milk farm of their childhood. There's also a transgender grandchild who bonds with his maybe-dead grandmother, environmental disaster looming, family secrets that remain unexplained, and cows, who may sing into the future. But I didn't understand their song at all.

🍿

Slalom is another debut feature by a new French female director. A young downhill skier adores her trainer who comes to takes advantage of her innocence. It holds 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but I hated it. I've been developing a low tolerance for stories of mistreatment, exploitation and abuse, or to watch another determined coach being tough with his young trainees. 3/10.

🍿

Alexander Skarsgård [Stellan's son] X 2:

🍿 Skarsgård wrote and directed a short film in 2003, To kill a child, a simple drama about an ordinary man who accidentally kills a child, while driving to the beach.

🍿 2 re-watch: On the Rolling Stone Magazine's list of '10 Best TV Episodes of 2023', the No. 1 was “Connor’s Wedding”, Succession Season 4, Episode 3. And indeed, Roy Logan's off-camera all-too-soon death, and his children's grief and devastation, was incredibly mesmerizing.

Also, “With Open eyes”, the tragic series finale, which encapsulated all the threads from 4 seasons of intrigues and disappointments. From the dinner scene where Skarsgård reeled Tom by “letting him sing for his supper”, to Tom's final coronation in the the SUV, together with Shiv his defeated wife.

🍿

The Newly Remastered Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special from 1988. A kitschy piece of subversive 'Camp' aimed at 4 year olds as well as closeted gay teenagers. With dozens of celebrity cameos, including Grace Jone, Magic Johnson, Cher & Larry Fishburne, and running gags about fruitcakes. Absurd and mildly fetishistic.

🍿

The Bear is a universally-acclaimed new series about a working class sandwich restaurant in Chicago. As an ex-chef who worked in similarly chaotic environments for nearly a decade, this story was unrealistic in the extreme. There was too much manufactured drama and way too many cooks to accommodate a simple hot dog stand. And the attempts to turn it into an experimental, hi-end Nathan Myhrvold spot were laughable. Lots of name droppings: Noma, Alinea, CIA, and lots of food-porn shots and plate-sets. They even brought Oliver Platt from the 10 times better film 'Chef'. It was written by somebody who obviously never worked as a cook. I somehow watched all of  Season 1, but didn't stay for seconds. 3/10.

🍿

Platonic, a new sitcom (without the laugh tracks), taking the 'When Harry met sally' concept, and replacing it with Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne. I could only stay for the Pilot episode. 2/10.

🍿  

Throw-back to the "Art project”:  

Adora loves to cook.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)