#roan:...neat

[pterosounds]

Chappell Roan @ College Street Music Hall, New Haven, CT - 4/3/24 (pt 4/5)

see more in the series

[aviomons]

do you think he dances at the pink pony club

[chappelroan]

shes so cool ......

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

well i. have to go to work in 5 hours but. i wrote and published the first chapter of a vimes/vetinari/sybil fic where both vimes and vetinari are trans women. i'm. losing it. a little. here it is if you would like to peruse

[dollfacefaerie]

i usually don’t indulge in stan behaviour but her beauty needs to be documented, studied, persevered and talked about for generations to come

[lesbian-arthur-pendragon]

good luck babe is actually about sophie chapman trust me

[idkwhatever580]

I would die happy

Pairings: teen!Natasha Romanoff x teen!reader

Song Inspiration: very loosely based off of the songs Casual by Chappell Roan and Ashley by Zolita (They’re good to listen to before hand but not necessary. I’ll link them)

Prompt: what happens when “good girl” y/n breaks it off with “bad girl” Natasha and Natasha realizes she needs y/n more than she thought?

Warnings:mentions of sex, angst then fluff, mentions of death? (From the song).

Pronouns: unspecified (one use of ma’am but in a silly way)

A/N: No this is not an actual songfic. I just took inspiration from the songs so there might be a line or five in the mix. I have had these songs stuck in my head the past few days and I kept imagining like a teen romance coming out of it? Idk. Hopefully I write this better than the last one 😭

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Y/n’s pov

I am in my room doing my homework when I hear tapping on my window. I look up from my neat desk to see Natasha.

My instinct is to smile and open the window up but I freeze.

Natasha Romanoff.

Bad girl. She vandalizes things. She doesn’t participate. And she dresses like a fuck boy.

Some call her a player. Some call her a cheater.

Whatever they think there’s one thing everyone can agree on. Natasha romanoff does not do relationships.

She’s usually the one night stand type of girl but then she met me. And that’s when everyone says she went soft. She never fucked another girl other than me.

But that’s all. For half a year. All she’s ever done is sex, aftercare, leave, repeat.

Another set of tapping falls upon my ears and I zone back in. I open the window and whisper

“What are you doing here?”

Natasha crawls in and says

“Wanted to see you. You alright there? You zoned out for a sec”

I nodded my head and my eyes fall upon her necklace. It’s silver with a little arrow.

I hate myself when I think of it. I nod my head and say

“Yeah. Totally fine. Just doing some homework”

I sit back down at my desk even though I know why Natasha is here.

After a whole 6 months of this it’s hard to not know what her routine is. But I don’t want it anymore.

Obviously I caught feelings. Who wouldn’t catch feelings for her? I just thought that I would get over it. I thought that having some of her is better than none of her at all right?

Wrong.

I cry so much now. All I want is for her to love me back. But that’s not reality. She doesn’t do love. She doesn’t do relationships. And I can’t do it anymore.

Natasha walks up behind me and rubs her hands down my arms and starts kissing my neck. My body lets her do it but then I think about it and take her hands off me.

“Not tonight. I have to study”

She doesn’t let up. Because usually I like playing hard to get. So she doesn’t know. And that’s okay. It’s my fault she doesn’t know.

“I can help you relax baby”

I roll my eyes at the pet name and say

“Natasha. Can we talk?”

She stands up straighter at my use of her full name and says

“Yeah. Sure”

I can tell she is a bit surprised at me but she nods her head nevertheless.

She sits down at the foot of my bed and I roll my chair over to her.

I sigh and look at the ground.

“I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t do this anymore Natasha”

She furrows her eyebrows and says

“You can’t do what?”

“This Natasha,”

I point at her and myself

“I hate myself for letting this drag on so long because I know you. I know you don’t want a relationship. But I lo- I like you Natasha. And I want you. All to myself. I want labels and I want to go to the pier together and eat popsicles and I want you to tell your friends and I want a future with you.”

I can tell I’m overwhelming her with this information but I keep going

“But you don’t want that. And that’s okay! I understand that some things aren’t meant to last. But I can’t keep hurting myself for some fun okay? I need to heal and move on. And you can go find another toy to play with and that’s okay. I just can’t be the one you go to anymore. It’s not what I want. And our ideals clearly do not align. I thought maybe I could do it and be able to handle all of this but I can’t.”

I tear up a bit

“I can’t be casual with you. I want feelings attached and I want you to myself but you don’t want me like that. So I need to cut it off.”

I finally finish my rant and I look down feeling embarrassed.

“I’m sorry”

I apologize and she shakes her head

“Don’t apologize. I get it.”

We sit there for a minute of awkward silence and she sighs and says

“I guess I should go then”

I nod my head and sniffle a bit. She lingers like she has something to say but she ultimately leaves and on her way out of my window she says

“I’ll see you at school I guess”

I nod my head.

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It’s been a week since I cut it off with Natasha and I look rough. My friends are worried about me but I tell them I’m fine.

Even some of my teachers have asked if I’m okay. Of course I lie to them. But it’s nice to know someone cares.

I have avoided Natasha at all costs. But I still find myself thinking about her.

Her arrow necklace. God I hate myself when I think of it. Because then I think of her. And then I start crying. Or I just shut down.

Yes. I may or may not have almost said I love you the night I cut it off with her. But I didn’t want her to have to hold all of my baggage. It’s not fair. She doesn’t like me like that. And she doesn’t deserve to feel guilty for what I feel.

My friend Emerald walks up to me during a free period and she says

“Hey did you see Natasha today?”

I shake my head and say

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

She shakes her head and says

“Well you’re gonna have to listen. She is the talk of the school right now so either you hear it from me or someone else.”

I roll my eyes and say

“What Em? Does she have a new toy hanging on her shoulder?”

Clearly I’m a little ticked off about having to hear about her.

But em shakes her head and I look at her and wait for her to continue

“She’s wearing your hoodie”

I look at her and say

“My hoodie? She doesn’t have any of my clothes, except for that bra that I’ll probably never get back”

She takes out her phone and shows me my favorite hoodie. It’s the pink one that I got from the thrift store. They all knew it was mine because it has em’s name on the sleeve. And a duck on the front.

I remember now. I forgot it at her house one time after she fucked me in her beach house. That was the day everyone found out and started talking about how I’m just a girl she fucked on her couch.

I cried so much that I forgot about it. And of course she just came over to make me forget about all the things people said.

I look at her and say

“Why would she ever wear that?”

She wiggles her eyebrows at me and says

“She obviously likes you y/n”

I roll my eyes and say

“She doesn’t like me Em. From the beginning everyone has known she doesn’t do crushes.”

Em shrugs her shoulders and says

“People can change.”

I roll my eyes and get a little frustrated and say

“Leave it Em. I don’t want to talk about it.”

She puts her hands up in surrender and leaves it at that.

The rest of the day goes by slowly. But I catch a glimpse of Natasha at the end of the day. She is wearing my hoodie. She looks good in it. But she shouldn’t be wearing that. I’m not hers. And she’s not mine.

I quickly leave so she doesn’t see me. Even though we definitely made eye contact. But it’s whatever.

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It’s about 8 pm now and I’m studying again. This final is about to make or break me so I can’t let myself loosen the reigns even though it’s only a midterm.

I have my headphones on and I’m listening to classical because it apparently helps people study. I’m honestly doing anything to help me.

A hand taps my shoulder and I jump up quickly but thankfully I don’t yell.

I turn around quickly and see Natasha standing there.

I immediately get frustrated and say

“What are you doing here?”

I take a second to actually look at her and she looks like shit. Honestly she is looking at me like a lost puppy. Like she hasn’t been in my room for six months. Her hair is a mess, shes still in my hoodie, and the bags under her eyes indicate that she hasn’t been sleeping well. I almost feel bad for her. Then I remember I can’t let my feelings get in the way. She says

“I um… I wanted to talk to you”

I sigh and say

“Well what is it? I’m listening?”

I feel bad for being so short with her but I can’t do it any other way or else I’ll break down.

She kind of stands there for a second and I sit down on my bed and pat it. I might as well be nice to her. She’s not a horrible person anyways.

She shakes her head slightly and keeps standing. I look at her and say

“You wanted to talk?”

She nods her head and says

“I don’t know how to say this but… I- I need you y/n”

I have never seen Natasha cry once. But she immediately breaks down in front of me

“I can’t do this without you. I need you so bad I just want all of you. I thought that if I convinced myself that it was for the better, that if I said I wanted this it would come true. But it’s not true I- I love you and I know you are probably over me by now and that’s okay I just need to tell you that I want you and only you. I know I’ve never done anything like this but I want to I want to change. I want to be good. For you. I want to take you on dates and tell everyone about you. And I don’t think I can do this without you because life is like a bad dream without you and I didn’t even realize what I had until I lost it!”

She starts crying. I start tearing up at her confession and I say

“Stop it. Stop it Natasha.”

It’s short and snippy because I’m about to cry.

“You can’t just say those things and pull at my heart just to get into my pants okay? I’m sorry that nobody wanted to get with you but I cannot just go crawling back to you if you just lie to me to get me back”

She looks at me and she shakes her head aggressively and says

“No. No I don’t. I don’t want to get into your pants I actually love you. I didn’t even know it because I’ve never felt love before y/n. Please you have to understand me I love you. I love you so much and I want a future with you. I was just scared but I’m not scared anymore I want you!”

She drops to her knees and tries to calm down a bit and says

“I understand if you don’t want me but I want you. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to introduce you to my friends and family. And- and I know my past doesn’t help anything. My reputation is probably your biggest fear but I can’t imagine my life without it. I’ve never been the sappy type but I’m telling the truth. If loving you kills me then I will die happy y/n”

I look at her from my bed and I see the genuine look in her eyes. I tear up again and the I get down from my bed and she looks down. It’s like she’s worshipping me. Like if she doesn’t she might lose me.

I envelope her in a hug and she starts crying into me. And I say

“Tell me that you love me and you won’t leave me.”

She looks at me with tears running down her face and her nose is sniffly and she says with such confdence

“I love you y/n. Nothing can change that. I won’t ever leave you. Not even if I could. I want to be yours”

I smile at her as she waits for me to answer and I grab her head and lean into her. I kiss her.

This kiss is different than any other kiss I’ve ever shared with her. It’s soft and tender. And full of love. I don’t even care that her tears and boogers are getting on me.

I don’t care. I just love her. I pull away and giggle and she kind of sits in criss cross. And I say

“Natasha. I love you too. I’ve loved you for a while now. I was just scared to say it.”

She sends me a dopey smile. I’ve never seen her smile at me like that. I like it. So I boop her nose and say

“Cute.”

She scrunches up her nose and says

“I’m everything but cute right now.”

I shake my head and say

“You’re always cute.”

I kiss her again after she wipes her face off and it’s sweet. I pull her into my lap and she says

“I don’t like this.”

Normally I guess she would be more comfortable with me on her lap. But I don’t care.

“I guess you’re just gonna have to suck it up.”

We sit on my floor for a bit and I say

“Oh shit! It’s late.”

I check the time and say

“It’s nine o’clock already! You have to get home baby”

She stops at the nickname and says

“Wait. So… are we?”

I giggle and say

“After all of that? There’s no way we’re not dating. So yes. I’m gonna call you baby. But you need to go home and I need sleep”

She smiles and says

“Can I have a hug before I go?”

I nod my head and pull her in for a long hug.

I kiss her head and then her nose and then her lips and say

“I love you. Now go. I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow?”

She usually walks to school and I drive but I want to pick her up now. She nods her head and I stop her before she leaves my window and I say

“And I want my hoodie back.”

She laughs softly and says

“No way. It’s mine now.”

Then I pull her back in to me and distract her with a kiss. I say

“Well then. I guess this is mine now”

I swiftly pull the hoodie she has on right now off of her and she pouts and says

“Aw man. That’s a good hoodie.”

I smile and say

“Only the best for me right?”

She smiles finally and nods her head and I say

“Text me when you get home okay?”

She nods her head and says

“Yes ma’am”

I giggle and shake my head. I watch as she walks off into the night and I hop onto my bed and cuddle my stuffed animal with a bright smile on my face.

All of that heartache must have been worth it.

She was right. If loving her kills me, then I would die happy.

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A/N: I actually kind of like how this one turned out. I know I pulled from the songs a lot but at least it was built into the words and not like a normal songfic lol. Because I’ve heard that many people do not like songfics :)

[luveline]

idk if you’ve done a request like this before but maybe roan (sweetest girl ever) gets moody and says something mean or does something mean to reader and maybe reader gets really sad over it and eddie helps roan apologize or make it better?

thank you you for your request! eddie and roan. fem!reader, 2k

Roan's hair is softer than her father's but twice as unruly. You hum and haw over what to do with it —she wants it out of her face because the weather is so, so hot today, your hands clammy even now, but lately she's complained about hairpin headaches. 

"Ready for brushing?" you ask. 

"No." Roan squirms in your lap. "Can you just put it up, please?" 

You nibble your bottom lip. You don't necessarily need to brush it, she's not going anywhere. She's lovely with or without neat hair, but… 

"I don't want it to get matted," you say, almost to yourself rather than her. 

"I want to go play," Roan whines.

You don't wince at her derision nor her impatience. She and her handsome father are the people you love most in the world, and to be able to do that, you've had to adapt to how children react. They can't control their bad moods with half the expertise of adults (though some of the adults you know can't do it, either). They need wiggle room.

And affection, undoubtedly. 

You stroke her hair back from her face. She jerks away from your touch. 

"Ro, I'm sorry," you say, in an attempt to assuage her unhappiness. Her fuse can be rather short. You'll all be happier if you can snub this flame before she has a meltdown. "I'm just trying to think of how best to do this, that's all. Can you give me a second?" 

Hair up? Clips out of her face? You know she's not in the best mood, and sometimes elaborate hairstyles make her feel better, but you can tell what she wants now is to be by herself with her dolls in the cool breeze of her standing fan. Simple ponytail, you decide. You and Eddie will just have to deal with any knots that happen when they happen–

"You're not good at hair, I should've asked dad," Roan declares, jumping off of your lap. 

You're startled, with barely the wits to say, "Hey, don't be like that, honey, I can do it–" 

"No, you can't do it." She snatches the hairbrush from you and turns the other way. "Dad will do it faster." 

"Hey," Eddie says, as though summoned by her mention. He stands in the doorway to the living room, a familiar yet foreign look on his face as he towel dries his wet hands. "Why are we talking to each other that way?" 

"Because she's slow!" Roan says, agitated, hands in fists at her sides. 

"Hey, no. I don't know why you're feeling unhappy, but being mean isn't going to make it go away. You don't talk to people like that, especially Y/N," Eddie says. His dark, thick brows furrow with frustration. 

Roan visibly gets more upset. 

"You want to go have five minutes?" Eddie asks her.

She throws her hairbrush on the floor and pushes past his legs, her footsteps like pangs of thunder as she stomps up the stairs. "Ugh!" she shouts. 

Eddie frowns at her as she goes but doesn't call anything more. You clasp the back of the couch in unsteady hands, a weird, strangling pressure wrapped around your throat like a hand. Your sides ache at your twisted position. 

Eddie, to his credit, isn't mad. He toes aside the thrown hairbrush with a confused pout. "What the hell just happened?" he asks. 

You're not sure. Roan's not happy because she's overwhelmed by the inescapable heat of summer, her TV volume is stuck slightly too loud at 27, and she didn't like the broccoli Eddie asked her to eat at lunch. Your slow hairstyling was the last straw, evidently. 

It hurts to have her angry at you. Hurts that she thinks you aren't measuring up to her father. 

You rub your eyes. "My fault. Couldn't get the brush through her hair 'n' took too long putting it up." 

Eddie lights up. You used to think it was theatrical, how he performs his affection, but the longer you know him, the clearer it becomes that he's just a dramatic guy. He sidles up to the couch and takes your face into both hands. 

"Not your fault," he says gently. Then, with more gusto, "She's grumpy, I'm sorry she took it out on you."

You try to play up to his bravado and find your own performance falling flat. "Yeah." 

His thumbs draw soft lines on your cheeks. You really like coparenting with him (though it feels a little weird to put it that way, and also very right) but in moments like this, you remember how much you love being his partner. How much you want him to kiss you and think you're pretty and smart and perfect. Eddie kisses the top of your head and gives you a hug over the couch, squeezing the tops of your shoulders, your face pressed to his neck. 

"It's not a big deal," you say. 

"No, it is. She's not having a good day, but I don't want her to be someone who takes it out on other people." He drops his lips to your forehead. "I'll go talk to her in a bit. Try not to take it personally, sweetheart. She knows how much you love her 'n' she knows she can be unreasonable with you like she is with me and Wayne. Blessing and a curse." 

You're reassured by the idea. Roan's showing off with you because she knows you're not going anywhere. She's moody and you'd been the first one to make a mistake with her today.

"I'm good at hair," you say unsurely. 

"You're great. Me and Ro have looked like a pair of Abercrombie models since we met you," he praises. 

"Think she's gonna be mad at me all day?" you ask. 

"Babe, you're mad at her." 

"I'm not," you say. 

"You're supposed to be." He gives your shoulder a rough rub. "I'm gonna go talk to her. Don't be upset, yeah? You're amazing." 

You accept a clumsy forehead kiss. 

Eddie leaves to soothe Roan's mood. You can imagine it now, his hip propped on the door jam, his unimpressed but patient look. You know we can't talk to each other like that, Ro. Even if we're not feeling good, we have to try to be nice. Do you know what's making you grumpy? Can I fix it for you?  

It's easy to guess what he's saying because you've heard it all before. He's a good dad. He might not always feel that way, but he is. 

You're not worried about Roan in any grand sense. She'll be okay. You're scared that what she said is true —you're not as good as Eddie at doing her hair. You're not as good as him at lots of things. 

You feel inferior to Eddie often as a parent. It's a given, considering that he's her primary caregiver, and has been since the day she was born. That's years of bonding and love you can't touch (wouldn't want to touch, really, wouldn't ever want to change how it happened at risk of messing up what you have now). You're not even really her official stepmom yet. 

What if Roan loved you because she was too young to know better? What if you're not good enough to take care of her?

Little footsteps drag down the stairs, followed by louder ones. You sniff and wipe the stressed tears that had been collecting in your eyes away, relieved to see Roan looking a little less enraged in the door. Eddie gives you a startled look at your expression, for which you can only offer a small smile. 

Roan doesn't mind the walk, standing in front of you where you're still sitting on the couch with ease. She glances at your lap where you clutch her hair ties in both hands, rubbing her own together guiltily. 

"Hi," you say hopefully. 

Roan looks at Eddie. You watch him nod from the corner of your eye. 

"I'm really sorry," Roan says. "For being mean." 

"That's okay," you say, holding your hand palm up atop your thigh, just in case. 

"Dad said you'd say that, but…" She eyes up your hand. You push it forward, and when she takes it, you draw an encouraging circle into her skin. "'Cus you love me, you don't get angry, but…" 

"What did you tell me, sweetheart? You can tell her. It's okay," Eddie prompts. 

Roan looks up. Brown eyes wide but soft brows pinched together unsurely, she says, "I didn't mean that you do hair badly. Please don't stop doing my hair, and kissing my cheek in the morning. Um, and playing dress up with me." 

"I'm not gonna stop doing those things," you say softly. Internally, you're relieved. "I love doing those things."

"Roan shouldn't have been mean," Eddie interjects. "Right?" 

"No, but she was having a bad day," you say, giving her hand a little swing. "Yeah? That's okay. I have bad days too, and I say things I wish I didn't." 

Roan looks uneasy. "You're not mad at me?" 

"Do you want me to be?" you tease gently. 

"No," she says through a shy laugh. Her stomach presses to your knee as she steps forward. "I didn't mean it about my hair."

"I know." 

She puts her hands up for you to pull her into your lap. You're more than willing to oblige, tucking her head under your chin. She's small in your lap. 

"I love looking after you," you murmur into her hair. "It's my favourite job. I know I'm not as good as daddy at things, but I didn't get all the training he got." 

"You're just as good as dad," Roan says. 

"You're better," Eddie says. 

You turn your head to grin at him. "Not true, but I'll keep trying, Ro. I'll get it." 

Roan fights to escape your tucking, her head tilted back, the blue glow from the fish tank cooling her face. "I love you now," she says. 

"Aw," Eddie says, though he looks shocked at himself, like it had slipped out unbidden. 

"I love you too," you say. More than you can explain. 

She puts her hand on your collar. "I'm sorry," she says again. 

"She knows, babe," Eddie says, flopping down onto the couch next to you both. 

"I forgive you straight away," you agree, rubbing the short breadth of her back lovingly. "It did make me sad, worrying you didn't think good things about me, but it's okay. I know you were getting annoyed. You couldn't help it." 

Roan's smile is so relieved you can't stop yourself from taking her face into two hands and planting kisses into the heart of her hairline. 

"Love you, silly," you say. 

"Share!" Eddie demands, his weight on your arm. 

Roan giggles as she's painted in kisses. Eventually, when her rosy cheeks have been covered inch to inch by kisses and she's so loved up her eyes are shining, she pushes you both away and holds her hands out. "I need space." 

You and Eddie laugh breathlessly and lean back into the couch, shoulder to shoulder. 

The older she gets, the more things like this are going to happen. She's going to have opinions, and expectations for you and Eddie. She's going to want space —she's going to need it, like she said. You don't mind giving her what she needs even if it is an adjustment, and even if she does aim her outbursts at you when she's overwhelmed. You do wish you could curl a strand of her hair around your finger, or stroke her cheek, but then she puts her hands on your shoulder. She's still blushing. 

"You're the best mommy ever," she says. 

"Did you tell her to say that?" you ask Eddie. 

"No way," Eddie says, dropping his head onto your other shoulder, his hair tickling your neck. "She just knows the truth, babe. I didn't have to tell her anything about it." 

[galaxygirl8880]

Handwriting Headcannons

Cale:

Whenever he's writing, his handwriting is very font-like. It's neat, looks a bit rushed tho. When he's signing his name, the body's muscle memory takes over and it's the most over the top thing you can think of.

Ohn:

She seems like her handwriting would be very tiny. Probably also does the little hearts as dots.

Hong:

He has NO FEAR. his handwriting is neat enough(for a kid) but l a r g e.

Raon:

No opposable thumbs = basically chicken scratch. He's much better at writing when using his magic.

Choi han:

Before the forest of darkness, it was probably pretty average. Now it's just slightly worse. (Got better with practice) He's not too confident when writing in the Roan kingdom's language

Rosalyn:

It is either neat and tidy because of her time as a princess or it looks like a doctor wrote it, no in-between.

---

Now I disappear for another three months

*poofs away magically*

[abbyslev]

casual || shoko ieiri

a/n: blame chappell roan for this leave me out of it

warnings: smut and angst lol maybe i’ll write a part two

-

you lay on your back, silk sheets softly rubbing your skin.

the smell of cigarettes fills your nose. your chest rose up and down, trying to catch your breath. you lift your hand up, feeling the warmth of her cigarette slip between your fingers.

you inhale it once before handing it back to her. the warm air filled your chest, blowing the rest out of your nose. you turned your back to her, closing your eyes. she traced the scratch marks on your back, placing a warm kiss down every one of them. “you’re so pretty.” she kissed your neck, wrapping her arms around you. if only it was like this forever.

-

“i’ll see you guys next week.” nanami waved to all of you, minus gojo.

“good bye!” you slurred out, pulling out the keys to your apartment. “you’re too drunk, baby.” shoko was behind you, helping you put the keys into the door, kissing your neck. you stumbled in, shoko holding you from your waist. “slow down, baby.” she turned you around, kissing you softly.

“you were killing me with this dress, you know that right?” she tugged at your straps, making her way down your neck. “you eyed me down like crazy.” you teased back. “almost got us caught.” she pulled her hair from her neat ponytail.

oh yeah. you had forgotten. you guys weren’t “out” or whatever shoko had said. you guys were nothing more than close best friends to the world. it hurt your heart, knowing she had confessed her love to you, endless night making love, endless pet names and lovely touches from her.

“‘m sorry.” you leaned into her. “it’s okay, princess. just made me think of you a lot. can’t leave much up to the imagination in this dress, especially gojo. you know how he feels about you.” she giggled, slowly unzipping your dress.

she pushed you against the couch, pulling your dress completely off your body. she kissed down your body, praising you each time she kissed you. she took off her pants, straddling your lap. she leaned down, her hands toying with your clit. “i love you, baby.” she kissed you, suppressing your words and moans.

“i love you, i love your body. i love everything about you.” she kissed your nape, her fingers inside of you now. “shoko.” you whispered, back arching against the couch. “i love you so much, my baby.” She pushed your hips down, her fingers sliding in and out of you, her pace quickening with every word.

you wanted to cry. she said these things to you, but did she really mean it? where you just someone to fuck after a stressful day? someone to toy around? but god, you were so in love with her, everything about her. you’d pretend like you weren’t hurt after you’d try and hold her hands, just for her to slip hers away and play it off. when she’s pick someone else to sit by instead of you, avoid eye contact and only answer at night. she’d only show up at night when she craved you.

you held her wrist, eyes rolling back. “cum for me, baby, show me how much you love me.” she looked straight into your eyes, lust filled in them as your body shook, nails scratching her back, her name coming out in sobs.

you push her away, sitting up. shoko pulled away, eyes lowering. you get up, rushing to your bathroom. she stood up, watching as you slammed the door. you threw a shirt on that was on your floor, hands combing through your messy hair. loud sobs echoed through the apartment.

“are you okay, did i hurt you?” shoko knocked on the door. you held your chest, tears pouring out of your eyes. “let me in.” shoko jiggled the doorknob. it scared her honestly.

you finally understood. you were nothing but a fuck toy for her, something to keep her entertained at night, someone to make her feel alive. you thought she was in love with you. you thought maybe you’d get married and leave all this sorcerer bullshit behind.

“just leave.” you cried, head leaning against the door. “i’m not leaving. what’s wrong?” she tried opening the door again. “let me in, princess.” the name made you spiral all over again.

“just go! you don’t even care about me!” your hands gripped the floor, loud sobs ripping from your chest. “i’m not leaving. i do care about you, what are you talking about?” shoko’s brows furrowed. you stood up slowly, unlocking the door. shoko slowly opened it, meeting your tired eyes. your makeup was ruined and your shirt was wet.

she came in for a hug. you pushed her off, tears brimming again. “what is wrong with you?” shoko frowned. “you don’t even like me. i’m nothing but someone to fuck, aren’t i? you don’t ask me on dates, you don’t even look my direction outside of my house. fuck, nanami pays my tab because you don’t even look at me.” you cried. she stayed silent, at loss of words.

“save your fucking breath. i understand now. i was so stuoud, falling in love with you. i’m a hookup.” you step back, face falling into your hands. “i wasn’t supposed to get attached. this was casual to you.” you cried.

“i’m sorry. i sm in love with you, i just…i don’t want to lose you.” “you’re a fucking liar. get out, it’s to late to save your ass.” you sob, shaking your hair. “please…” she held her hand out.

she stepped back, her hands meeting the bathroom door handle. “i’m sorry…” she closed the door behind her.

[pedroscouts]

Say hello to our Scout of the Week: @sp00kymulderr!

*Who is your favorite Pedro boy? I resisted Dieter Bravo for a long time but safe to say that man really wormed his way into my heart over the last year or so. Now I run @dieterbravobrainrotclub and spend basically every single day thinking about him 😅 I just think he’s really neat; I love how Pedro created this dynamic character despite how little we actually get of him in The Bubble. Plus, he’s a very fun character to put into all sorts of weird and wonderful situations.

*If you were going to make a playlist for that Pedro boy, what is a song that would be on it? Ooh this is a tough one, I’ve never made a character playlist before but the first song that comes to mind for Dieter would be Guilty Pleasure by Chappell Roan, it’s a song where the very first time I heard it it gave me immediate ideas for a Dieter fic.

*Do you have a favorite fic you’ve read? What do you like about it? I have so many. There are so many incredibly talented people in this fandom it’s practically impossible to choose just one but since you asked, I absolutely adore Into the Beat of the Night by @perotovar. To be honest I’m very much not a Frankie person but Erin created such a special, well-crafted and caring love story for Frankie that’s unlike anything else I’ve read. I adore the original character, River, and it’s very special for me to be able to read non-binary characters in fanfic since they are so few and far between. I think about this series constantly, it’s been very healing for me in a way, and I’m always amazed by Erin’s talent.

*Purple Lakers shirt or yellow Lakers shirt? They’re both iconic but purple because I can never get over how good Pedro looks in purple!

*Would you drink six shots of espresso over ice? Absolutely yes. The more coffee the better. The stronger the coffee the better. I’m a coffee freak and I’m not sure I can function without it to be honest.

*Describe yourself with 5 adjectives. Shy, silly, excitable, nerdy, optimistic

Thank you so much for answering the questions, Gideon! Guys, definitely visit @sp00kymulderr - their masterlist is full of Pedro boys and a few other treats as well, and check out @dieterbravobrainrotclub, too!

[evenmorefatallyobsessed]

Models Goal for 2024

Huh 116 (61 Left), not small but not nearly as big as I figured... Neat. Also these models aren't in any particular order.

I think I should be able to clear them fairly fast actually, we'll guess we'll see.

1. Coco Adel (RWBY)

2. Lisa Lavender (RWBY)

3. Gwen Darcy (RWBY)

4. Nebula Violette (RWBY)

5. Dew Gayl (RWBY)

6. Octavia Ember (RWBY)

7. Ariel Vasilias/ Neptune's Lawyer Mom (RWBY)

8. Star Sanzang/ Sun's Cousin (RWBY)

9. Comet Sanzang/ Sun's Cousin (RWBY) (Scrapped Character)

10. Iris Marilla/ Beacon 2nd Year (RWBY)

11. Tortuga/ Ace-Ops Dead Member (RWBY)

12. Rowena Sunnybrook/ Shade's Weapon Teacher (RWBY)

13. Humanoid Crocea Mors (RWBY)

14. Bianca Prisma (RWBY)

15. Roane Ashwood/ Flynt's (RWBY)

16. Ivy Thickety/ Sun's (RWBY)

17. Ruda Tilleroot (RWBY)

18. Atlas Milfs/ Jaune's Fan Club (RWBY)

19. Arslan Atlan/ Sun's (RWBY)

20. Oliver Harper/ Flynt's (RWBY)

21. Trifa/ White Fang Girl/ Mercury's (RWBY)

22. Sun Wukong (RWBY)

23. Mercury Black (RWBY)

24. Flynt Coal (RWBY)

25. Iona Rockshow (RWBY)

26. Sunset Shimmer (My Little Pony)

27. Starlight Glimmer (My Little Pony)

28. Celestia (My Little Pony)

29. Luna (My Little Pony)

30. Maud Pie (My Little Pony)

31. Apple Bloom (My Little Pony)

32. Sweetie Belle (My Little Pony)

33. Scootaloo (My Little Pony)

34. Trixie (My Little Pony)

35. Ember (My Little Pony)

36. Gabby (My Little Pony)

37. Lancer Artoria (Fate Stay Series)

38. Assassin Artoria (Fate Stay Series)

39. Saber Lily (Fate Stay Series) (Commissioned)

40. Mordred (Fate Stay Series) (Commissioned)

41. Jeanne D'Arc (Fate Stay Series)

42. Jeanne D'Arc Alter (Fate Stay Series)

43. Barghest (Fate Stay Series)

44. Suzu Hagimura (Seitokai Yakuindomo) (Commissioned)

45. Mona Megistus (Genshin Impact)

46. Amber (Genshin Impact)

47. Fubuki (One Punch Man)

48. Tatsumaki (One Punch Man)

50. Leone (Akame Ga Kill)

51. Rangiku Matsumoto (Bleach)

52. Yoruichi Shihouin (Bleach)

53. Tier Harribel (Bleach)

54. Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck (Bleach)

55. Sio-Feng/ Soifon (Bleach)

56. Riruka Dokugamine (Bleach)

57. Haineko (Bleach)

58. Kirche von Zerbst (Familar of Zero)

59. Henrietta de Tristain (Familar of Zero)

60. Tabitha/ Charlotte de Gallia (Familar of Zero)

61. Tiffania Westwood (Familar of Zero)

62. Siesta (Familar of Zero)

63. Guiche de Gramont (Familar of Zero) (It's okay to cuck cheaters in my book)

64. Hideri Kanzaki (Blend S)

65. Tristana (League of Legends) (Blame @palaceofpassion for making me lowkey love this character I know nothing about)

66. Poppy (League of Legends) (Same as the one above)

67. Lulu (League of Legends)

68. Vex (League of Legends)

69. Aloe (Interspecies Reviewers)

70. Crimvael (Interspecies Reviewers)

71. Chika Fujiwara (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

72. Toyomi Fujiwara (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

73. Moeha Fujiwara (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

74. Maki Shijo (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

75. Ai Hayasaka (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

76. Kei Shirogane (Kaguya-Sama, Love is War)

77. Sakura (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

78. Yoshi (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

79. Maki Gamou (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

80. Sana Sunomiya/ President (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

81. Hana Sunomiya (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

82. Misaki Nagatoro/ Nagatoro's Older Sister (Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro)

83. Samus Aran (Metroid)

84. Princess Peach (Mario)

85. Princess Daisy (Mario)

86. Princess Rosalina (Mario)

87. Koopa Queen Bowsette (Mario)

88. Morrigan Aensland (Dark Stalker)

89. Lilith Aensland (Dark Stalker)

90. Felicia (Dark Stalker)

91. Amy Rose (Sonic)

92. Rouge the Bat (Sonic)

93. Blaze the Cat (Sonic)

94. Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

95. Holli Would (Cool World)

96. Ty Lee (Avatar)

97. Toph Beifong (Avatar)

98. Hestia (Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?)

99. Rumi Usagiyama/ Mirko (My Hero Academia)

100. Kaina Tsutsumi / Lady Nagant (My Hero Academia)

101. Melissa Shield (My Hero Academia)

102. Mei Hatsume (My Hero Academia)

103. Shino Sosaki/ Mandalay (My Hero Academia)

104. Ryuko Tsuchikawa/ Pixie-Bob (My Hero Academia)

105. Tomoko Shiretoko/ Ragdoll (My Hero Academia)

106. Momo Yaoyorozu (My Hero Academia)

107. Lucoa (Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon)

108. Diana Prince/ Wonder Woman (DC Comics)

109. Raven (DC Comics)

110. Starfire (DC Comics)

111. Blackfire (DC Comics)

112. Jinx (DC Comics)

113. Argent (DC Comics)

114. Dee Dee Sisters (DC Comics)

115. Harley Quinn (DC Comics)

116. Izumo Kamiki (Blue Exorcist)

117. Maria Yoshida (Blue Exorcist)

[f1-giuki]

casual by chapell roan, smut (u can add angst if u want it's a lil angsty), lestappen <3316

Hi darlinggggggg💖💖💖💖 Honestly yesterday I was listening to the rise and fall of a Midwest princess and it was so good, so this is very much spot on!!!! I have added also De Selby (part 1) by Hozier for the angst! I think they fit nicely together!

so here's you're lestappen drabble!!! hope you like it!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

casual - de selby (part 1) - prompt post

Max looks at Charles' sleeping figure and sighs with a sad smile. That's a moment he'll never relieve again. It's the fruit of forgetfulness and it won't come back ripe in his hands. It's already rotting under Max's remorse.

Max can look only when the whole world is asleep, surrounded by darkness, so that nobody will see the light of love in his eyes.

Max thinks not even God could bear such a life. He's the one who created Charles and put him on this Earth, maybe he's in the same position Max is, with a too-good fruit in his hands and the path to Hell carefully mapped out.

Charles' soft features are smoothed out by the bliss of sleep, and yet, so calm and pretty, they can't utter a word of help to Max's wild heart. He takes a glimpse at the pond, where the virgins wait for Spring to come, but his face is broken, reflected in thousands of shards. He can't see himself.

The point is that Max feels like he takes and takes and takes when he fucks Charles on the hood of his Ferrari, in his garage, his moans echoing red against his Red Bull trophies, but he's the one losing bits of himself among the sheets.

Max thinks Charles gets off when he slaps his face next to the second championship trophy on his bedside table. The empty one. The one Kelly left. Left for Charles is left unsaid, loudly in Max's brain.

Max feels like a monster shutting up Charles, pressing his face on the mattress or filling his mouth with his fingers. He's a monster because he wants so much, knowing that's the one thing he can never have or win.

But the words Charles whispered in his ear when he found out he was alone are branded like cattle marks on his brain. “Now that you're free, wanna have some real fun?”

Fast, passionate, bleeding fun. Everywhere, every time. On Max's couch, in Charles' car, in the bathroom of Charles' mother's apartment, while she cooked them lunch and waited for pasta to cook, on the phone with one of Charles' brothers. 

Max knows it's not casual, for him, when he sinks his nails in Charles's hips, marking and scratching like a rabid dog, marking his territory, praying to God that when Charles comes back home to his girlfriend she'll see him, leave Charles to him.

Max feels like a monster for wanting all the time, and hating Charles at the same time. He hates that “Baby, no attachment,” when Charles' dick is twitching down his throat, shooting his load in Max at the thought of having him at his disposal. Max hates loving power imbalances, knowing he wants but could never have that.

Max loves being so stupid to know about Charles' family, receiving worried calls from Arthur about his future and buying Lorenzo's favourite padel brands. Is it casual still when Joris challenges him to get the wag of the year trophy? 

Is it casual still, when Charles' clothes are in his washing machine and his housekeeper folds them in a neat pile in his dresser, where her things used to be?

Max knows it's not, although Charles is free and bright, he comes to him like darkness at sunset, beautiful and morbid as he takes his hand and places it on his throat.

They feel so entangled Max doesn't know where he starts and where Charles ends, where his paradise staircase became a slide to hell.

Max thinks he can hate, but then he sees that golden plane of skin under his pale fingers, he can't grab the brakes anymore and shall brace for impact.

He is cursed by love herself.

[gamevecanti]

(Mirage 2: Torry x Neat x Roan no Daibouken, PC-98) [NSFW 18+]

[raw-law]

I really need to get this out of my mind so bear with me for a bit

I'm someone who enjoys a lot listening to music, it's a part of me and I would dare to say without it I can't function correctly. Just as it's a huge part of me, I think it's a part of everyone, more present in some than others(? I'll try to elaborate further on it.

It has been like this my whole life and I've learned that a song can influence your mood and even your way of thinking, hence, is a reflection of who you are. Still amazes me to this day. But anyway, what I came to say here is that, I think we don't value enough when someone gifts a song, written by them or by someone else, be in a serenade or just mentioning they thought of you when listening to it.

It's like saying "Hey, this form of expression I came across (or made), that i liked or disliked in some way, made me think of you, but also of me"

Why? because we felt the song, processed it, and came to the conclusion, those feelings and thoughts brought up were the same or similar to those when we are around or even thinking of that other person. It doesn't even have to be in a romantic way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, gifting a song is a beautiful and deep way of acknowledging oneself and others, but is also underrated haha

So, with that in mind

Everytime I hear "Good Luck Babe" by Chappell Roan I can't help but think of you two, but mostly of Light

Individually, "Come As You Are" by Nirvana makes me think of L, if I had to describe you somehow, it would be with that song, or maybe "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"AMG" by Natanael Cano x Gabito Ballesteros x Peso Pluma makes me think of Light, I'm not elaborating because it's self explanatory if you listen to it

-🐉

L:

the way you describe music really is beautiful... i wish i could experience it the same way you do. it sounds divine.

the songs you've listed are quite neat. "Come As You Are" was my favorite. thank you deeply for sharing them, especially with how personal music is for you.

i'm sorry i can't give much back in return. i care about music simply because it's self expression in its purest form. plus, it's an art form as well, and i prioritize art above everything.

however, i've never experienced a personal connection to it. there are songs that i hold dear to me, but those were never because of the music inherently. liking or disliking songs has always been more of a choice to me than something embedded in my dna. it sounds like an exquisite connection to have, you should continue cherishing it.

Light:

Personally, I don't much have a taste for music, but I did look up your song recommendations online, and I do enjoy the lyrics.

Probably my favourite line is from "Good Luck, Babe"--- 'You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling". Sometimes, it really does feel that way.

Anyways, I'll have to listen to these songs when I eventually get the time---so far, they do seem rather interesting.

I do agree that music is a wonderful thing, and if anyone ever recommends you a song and says this reminded me of you, it's certainly an honour. It's just that I don't really enjoy music myself, despite being a pianist. But I won't forget this---thanks, Anon. I really do appreciate it.

[biconickyoshi]

tag games :)

Woooo thanks for tagging me @the-cloud-whisperer!! :) I’ve never done one of these before!

* Last song I listened to: Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi (classic city pop bop)

* Favorite color: Forest green - I painted my home office this color and it’s very calming (plus gives off hobbit vibes)

* Currently watching: Dungeon Meshi, didn’t expect to like it as much as I do but I look forward to every new ep and even binged the manga the other day :)

* Spicy/savory/sweet: Savory all the way, can’t handle too much spicy or sweet at a time T-T

* Relationship status: Married

* Current obsession: Strongest and longest running special interest is A:tLA since 2007, specifically Zukaang now ever since late 2021 when I had an epiphany about the ship and started writing The Avatar and the Fire Prince :)

-------------

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

* Take A Chance With Me - NIKI (literally fits Zukaang so well so I listen to it a lot)

* Lovegod - Sarah Kinsley (the piano in this makes me feel so nostalgic and gives me extreme Debussy vibes)

* Naked in Manhattan - Chappell Roan (sapphic bop)

* That’s Me - Gnoss (celtic music is just 🤌🏻✨ i love it so much)

* Bewitched - Laufey (I feel like im in an old disney movie when I listen to this)

-----------------

nickname: KJ

zodiac sign : gemini, but none of the gemini traits fit with my personality so I don’t much believe in astrology lol. if I’d have been born just a day or two later I’d be a cancer and much more inclined to believe in it bc it fits me way better

height : 5'4"

last thing I googled: tripleS members (a kpop group my sister recently introduced me to lol)

amount of sleep: usually 6-7 hours, I recently got diagnosed with mild sleep apnea so I wake up literally every hour or two and i have to use a cpap 😔

dream job: hmm well I guess I’m working it right now (I’m a therapist)? when I was a kid I wanted to be on broadway (I was big into musical theater/choir)… now I honestly kinda don’t really “enjoy” working in general even though there are parts of my job that I enjoy. I honestly get the most satisfaction out of doing things I like for my own enjoyment (like writing and drawing) rather than for monetary gain.

movie/book that describes me the most: uhhhhhh I guess I’d say LotR, I very much relate to Frodo lol (which is one of the reasons he’s my pfp on my main blog). I also love its portrayal of wholesome masculinity and kindness/goodness conquering all.

favorite song: hard to choose… there’s literally so many I like lol. I really love 1of1 (both the album and the song) by SHINee (my fave kpop group)

favorite instrument: I would say the mandolin or the fiddle

favorite aesthetics: I really enjoy the vibe of whimsigoth, though my personal style does not incorporate it. I attempted it a couple years ago but felt it was too femme - nowadays I wear “fashionable” men’s clothes (layers, button-ups, men’s jeans)

favorite author: Charlotte Brontë simply because I love Jane Eyre so much. She made me feel so many emotions with that novel 😭 I related to Jane a bit too much

random fun fact: hmmmm well I was the lead in two different musicals when I was in high school which was pretty neat! I mentioned somewhere above that I wanted to be on broadway growing up so that’s the closest i’ve gotten to that lmao

Gonna tag some of y’all if you wanna play (no pressure tho) :)

@finn0cchio @my-cabbages-gorl @veggiesforpresident @buncly13 @asukas-numberone-defender @zeno-zero @rennelelorren @gordielaweirdo @isthei @kirinjaegeste