#roller coaster cam

[gloriousgoateedragon]

[alethiometry]

ok on 2nd watch and with s4 exploring max and billy's relationship in way more depth, i like stranger things s3 quite a bit more than i thought

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Everybody Hurts

Chapter 23

Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader

Summary: You needed to escape, escape from your life, your messy divorce, and all the pitying looks. Looks you couldn't ignore when everyone in town had known you and Cam, had known your shame and failure. So, you took the first job you could get, teaching third grade in a town called Hawkins. Little did you know, you were walking right into another messy situation, a messy situation with big brown eyes and long dark waves. But he's resistant, at times unbearable and you start getting curious about the town's past, his past, especially when things don't start adding up.

18+ Only for eventual smut

Last chapter: 01/31

Word Count: 7.8K

Masterlist

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You pulled off into the grass in front of Eddie’s uncle’s trailer. The small driveway was already filled to capacity with the monstrous truck and the oversized van. Your eyes roamed over the small dwelling with trepidation, wondering once again why in the hell you'd agreed to this, why you were the one who was coming to talk to him. Anyone else had to be a better option than you. 

You'd only known each other a little over a month. Eddie clearly didn’t trust you yet, at least not completely. He definitely didn’t trust you enough to tell you what was haunting him night after night. What would make any of them think that he would be open to spilling his innermost thoughts and fears with you? What could possibly make them believe that you would be the one to get through to him? 

Your arms came to rest on top of the steering wheel, forehead pressed against them as you tried to muster up enough courage to get out of the damn car. Because the minute you did so, the moment the two of you came face-to-face, Eddie was presented with the opportunity to end things, to tell you it was over. If you just stayed in the safety of this car, this little car that he’d so sweetly fixed up for you, then you could stay ignorant. If he didn’t get the chance to end things, then you remained in limbo. 

And you were convinced that was exactly what he would do if given the chance. How many times had he reiterated that the two of you were a bad idea? He was going to run from you as fast and as far as he could, convinced that he didn’t deserve this, didn’t earn the right to be happy, that he was doomed for the rest of his life because of circumstances beyond his control. How would you ever get him to see how wrong he was? What could you say or do to show him how very much he not only deserved happiness, but the entire world?

In such a short time, Eddie had elicited feelings within you, feelings that were stronger and deeper than anything you'd ever felt before. A veritable roller coaster of intense emotions that came out of nowhere and swept you off her feet. It was a wild ride, one you couldn’t stop whether you wanted to or not. If someone would have asked you a few months ago if it was possible to fall in love with someone in just a few weeks, you would have laughed in their face but here you were, completely head over heels.

And that was the problem, that was why you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of this car. Because, ridiculous though it may be, you were already in too deep. The waves were crashing over your head, you didn’t know up from down, swirling in the mass of darkness that was Eddie. The very thought of him ending things, of never looking into those whiskey depths you wanted to drown in, of never running your fingers through those delicious waves, of never being held in those deceivingly strong arms, knocked the wind right out of you. You had already suffered one heartbreak and you'd survived. But you weren't sure if you would make it through losing Eddie. 

How could losing a relationship that lasted thirteen years possibly hurt less than one that had been going on for a few weeks? You didn’t know. There wasn’t a single rational explanation for it. You could never put it into words because you didn’t understand it yourself but there it was. Losing Eddie would hurt worse than losing Cam ever had and whether it was crazy or not, it was the truth. 

Jesus Christ. What were you going to do? What were you going to say? You had been racking your brain the entire ride over here, trying to think up some magic words that would make Eddie see how wrong he was, how wrong this town was. A guy like him didn’t belong in a small town like this, where the people were small-minded, ignorant, set in their antiquated ways of thinking. It wasn’t his fault that he was surrounded by people who couldn’t look beyond clothes and hair to see the good person underneath it all. 

He wasn’t a monster. Eddie Munson was the farthest thing from a monster you could find. He was soft, sweet, nerdy, empathetic, and thoughtful. He put on this armor that was him being a jerk to try to protect himself but that’s all it was, just a thin shell he used to keep people out. Underneath all of that, he was just a little boy that wanted to be loved, that wanted to matter, that wanted acceptance. Was that really such an awful thing to want?

A light rapping on your car window had you jumping with a shriek. Hands clutching your chest, you looked over to see Uncle’s Wayne’s weathered face, a kind smile, and amused eyes peering at you. He chuckled softly, holding both hands up. You released a slow breath of embarrassment at having been startled so easily, reaching for the handle and cranking the window down. 

“Sorry ‘bout that sweetheart. I didn’t mean to startle you or nothing. I just happened to step out for a smoke and saw you sitting in here with your head down. I waited for a bit but when you weren’t getting out, I started to get a bit worried. You okay?”

“Yeah. I actually came to talk to Eddie.”

“Well, you’ll have to get out of that car if you want to do that because I can tell you right now, he ain’t coming out here. I’ve been trying to talk some sense into him all morning but that boy is more stubborn than a damn mule. He don’t want to listen to nothing.”

“Well, then maybe I should just head home. If he’s not listening to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”

Wayne straightened, taking a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes moving to the trailer and then back to you, “Now, I don’t know about that. I have a feeling my nephew might be more inclined to listen to his pretty girlfriend than his old uncle. He’s convinced I don’t know what I’m talking about, like he’s the first one to be tarnished with the name Munson in this town.”

“You too? I guess I just thought that people thought that stuff about him because of his dad.”

“Yeah, well, where do you think my brother learned it?” A long plume of smoke fell from his lips, his hip coming to lean on the side of the car. “My dad was a thief. Cars just like my brother. He’d sell them to this guy at a chop shop for the parts. He taught us how to hotwire at a young age. Well, one day he stole the wrong car off the wrong guy. This guy happened to keep a pistol under his seat and caught my dad right between the eyes.”

“Oh my god…I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

Wayne shrugged, “Well, when you choose the criminal life, you choose the consequences that come with that. Anyway, my mom struggled being all on her own. She worked two jobs just to make ends meet but we still got evicted from our house. She bought a trailer in this shitty park because it’s what she could afford and that’s where we grew up. Don’t think the kids in this place were any nicer then than they are now.”

“Are they ever?”

“True. We were the trailer park trash, you know. Our mom had to shop at thrift stores so we were always wearing whatever she could get for cheap. It was often too big so we could wear it for a while before she had to buy more. Sometimes our stuff had holes she’d try to mend or stains she hadn’t been able to get out in the wash. We always packed our lunch. Nothing fancy. Just some bologna on Wonder Bread. Maybe some pretzels if she could swing it. But those kids teased us something fierce. White trash, trailer park trash, Oliver Twist, bums…and the shit they said about our mom…” He sighed, shaking his head, those kind eyes saddened as painful memories revisited him. “Anyway, my brother refused to live that life anymore. He swore he would make himself a bunch of money and get out of here. But then he met Ed’s mom and she got pregnant. I tried to tell him that he needed to grow up and get his shit together, to be a father, someone his son could be proud of. But he had it in his head that the only way to make his son proud was to make lots of money. Clearly, he didn’t learn anything because he went down the same exact path our dad had. And then Ed’s mom…it was just too hard for her. She wasn’t strong like my mom. I tried to help her but she was too far gone. She couldn’t…I’ll never forgive myself for letting that boy see the things he did.”

“That’s not your fault,” you assured him, your hand slipping through the window to rest on the older man’s arm. “Eddie told me you tried to take him but she wouldn’t let you. There was nothing you could do without going through the proper channels. You could have wound up in jail if you’d just taken him. Even if it would have been the best thing for him, it would still have been kidnapping.”

“Yeah. I know. But I knew she was heading down a dark road. I knew he wasn’t safe. I went and talked to a lawyer but money was tight for me too, you know? It wasn’t a fast road because I had to save a bit up so I could afford the fees. I just wasn’t fast enough.”

“You saved him. Eddie thinks the world of you. You’re the one person who has always been there for him, who has always had his back, who has always believed in him. You’re everything to him. That’s why I don’t think he’ll listen to anything I say. If he won’t listen to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”

“Now, I don’t know about that,” Wayne countered, tossing his Marlboro on the ground before grinding it down with his foot. “You’ve brought about a change in my boy, a change I haven’t seen in too long. To be frank, a change that means more to me than just about anything in this world. He’s been unhappy…hell, he’s not even been living since all that nonsense with those murders. He’s just been going through the motions for a long time. Ever since he saw that girl die and this town wasted no time accusing him for it, he’s not been the same. Ed was sad for a long time after his mom but he always had this…this spark about him, I guess. He was animated. Boy could not tell a story without his hands getting involved in the telling too. He was loud as hell, always playing on that guitar or yelling about something, talked a mile a minute, that kid. I had trouble keeping up half the time. He could be downright obnoxious. Back then I would have given anything for him to be quiet for just a little while. But after everything, I would have sold my soul to get that rowdy kid back. You did that.”

“I didn’t do anything, not really,” you insisted, shaking your head. Your fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, gripping it tight as a shadow moved behind the curtain in the trailer. Eddie. He was right there, so close, and your body pulled toward him, compelling you to go to him but you stayed rooted in your seat, your fear winning. 

“Don’t sell yourself short there, darling. I saw it from the moment he brought you here to look at that old car. Which, by the way, he did a hell of a job on. I hardly recognized it. Took me a moment to realize who was sitting outside my place. But the way he looked at you, I ain’t never seen that boy look at anything like that before, not even that damn guitar and his eyes lit up like firecrackers when he opened that thing.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes, your hand coming up to nervously brush your hair behind your ear, “Now I know you’re seeing things because he was mad at me that day. I asked if this was where he grew up and he got bristly, expecting me to judge him.”

“No. He got bristly because he liked you and he feared you’d look down on him like everyone else once you knew his past. That boy looked at you like you were the sun, like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I knew you were something special right then.”

“I don’t think that’s…”

Wayne held up his hand, skin worn from years of hard labor just inches from your face, “You need to stop thinking so hard. I’ve known that boy his whole life and I know what I saw. Ed hasn’t ever brought a girl around here. Trust me. You’re something special and a girl like that, when a man feels a certain kind of way about her, that girl can convince him to do just about anything.” Grabbing onto the handle, Wayne pulled open the car door. “So, you think you’re ready to go in there and give it a shot? Maybe do what I couldn’t? I’d sure appreciate it.”

Blue eyes that you just couldn’t bring yourself to disappoint begged you to try. You had two choices. You could tell him no, drive out of here, and hope someone else reached Eddie. But what would he think if you just avoided him? Would he assume that you didn’t want him? That you believed all that bullshit about him? No. You couldn’t let him think that. 

So, choice number two it was. You had to push back all the fear of what could happen, walk into that trailer, and tell him who he was. Tell him the man you saw, the man you wanted, the man you loved. Maybe you didn’t use that word just yet. The man had enough scares for a lifetime in the last twenty-four hours. Your irrationally intense feelings could wait. No reason to make him leave an Eddie shaped hole in the side of the trailer as he tried to run from your insanity. 

“Alright,” you finally said softly. “I’ll try but I’m not making any promises.”

“Not asking you to, but listen.” His hand came to rest on your shoulder, even more lines appearing on his forehead as he furrowed his brow. “Don’t you let my nephew push you away, okay? He’s gonna try. I know he is because he’s just as stubborn as I am. But he don’t mean a damn word of whatever bullshit he’s going to spout at you about why you shouldn’t be with him. He’s gonna think it’s for your own good. But if you care for him the way I think you do, push right back.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile, your hand covering his, “That’s the plan.”

“You in this for the long haul, honey?”

“I’d like to be. Eddie…” Your lips pressed together, wet emotion clinging to your lashes. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him and I was with my ex for a long time. I can’t explain it. I know it’s nuts. We haven’t known each other that long but I…well, I am crazy about him. And I don’t want to lose him.”

“Then don’t and nothing you said is crazy. Maybe that other guy, your ex, wasn’t the one you were supposed to be with. Maybe your heart just recognized the person who completed it when it saw him. Maybe it looked and went, this is what was missing. Because, I gotta tell you, I think you’re what was missing for my boy.”

You grinned, teeth showing, at the older man’s words. You'd never thought of it like that. Could that be how it worked? Cam clearly had not been the right choice. If he had been, he wouldn’t have strayed because you would have been enough for him. Could it be that something within you, your heart or soul or whatever it was, saw him and went, oh there you are. It recognized him, as if he were the piece that it needed to be complete. Could that be why your feelings for him were so strong, so fast?

“He’s definitely the piece I’ve been missing,” you told him. 

“Then maybe it’s time you tell him that,” Wayne called over his shoulder as he ambled toward his truck, pulling open the door and climbing up into the driver’s seat. 

“Where are you going?”

“Well, damndest thing, I just remembered that 8 Ball is almost out of cat food. Think I would have thought of that earlier.”

Throwing you a wink, his hand giving a short wave out of the window, elbow resting on the frame, Wayne backed out and drove away, leaving you standing in front of the trailer. There was no way he just randomly decided to get cat food. He was trying to give you some privacy for this conversation with Eddie. Maybe he just didn’t want to be there when Eddie crushed you or lost his shit on you for being too pushy. Either way, you were on her own now. 

Taking a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever outcome awaited you, you turned to face the trailer. A long shadow appeared behind the curtain, disappearing and reappearing just as quickly, an anxious body pacing. Would that anxiety cause him to push you away, to get rude and nasty the way he’d done so many times? Maybe but there was no turning back now. You'd given Wayne your word and something about that man would not let you go back on it. You didn’t want to disappoint him. 

Slow steps up to the door. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. You could do this. You could be what Eddie needed you to be. You could make him see. You knew all the facts now. You knew what he’d been through. No more secrets. No walls between them, concealing everything that was hurting him. He could talk openly to you about everything he’d been through and you could listen. You could be whatever he needed you to be, do whatever he needed you to do. 

Raising your hand, you knocked on the door gently but firmly. You barely got in one knock before the door was wrenched open, revealing the face you'd been longing to see ever since the moment he’d been led away from you in the jail. 

“The door wasn’t locked, old man,” Eddie began, stopping when he realized the person knocking was not his uncle. His head dropped, fingers gripping the frame of the door, a soft groan escaping his lips, letting you know he was less than pleased to find you there. “Prom Queen, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m here because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

His bottom lip was swollen, his tongue playing over the scab from where it had been split. His eye was a dark shade of violet along with his cheek. A butterfly bandage sat over his eyebrow where the skin had also been split in the fight with Andy. 

You stepped toward him, your hand reaching for his face, every part of you aching to comfort him. As if this man needed any more scars or injuries. You were pretty sure the bats and the freaky science fiction shit that you'd just learned about had given him more than his fair share. But as you opened your arms, needing to feel him close to you, he took a step back, his hands held out as if fending you off. 

There it was, a physical barrier to match the invisible one he was quickly assembling around his heart. Armor to keep you out, to protect himself from getting hurt again. But the last thing that you wanted to do was hurt him. All you wanted was to make every single injury, both internal and external, better. You wanted to heal every bruise. To give him something good, something that he deserved, probably more than most after what he’d been willing to sacrifice to save a town that hated him. 

“Eddie, please don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t shut me out,” you pleaded, your hands dropping to your sides as you stepped into the trailer and closed the door behind you. Maybe he could shut down on you but he wasn’t going to make you leave, not until you'd had your say. “Don’t put up that wall again. Don’t tell me that we shouldn’t be together.”

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, hair tumbling around his shoulders as he shook his head with annoyance. “Princess, are you delusional? I attacked a man. I would have killed Andy if Harrington hadn’t stopped me. I was headed to jail, which is probably where I belong. I mean, it is what us Munsons do. It’s where this whole town figured I would end up, anyway.”

“You don’t belong in jail, Eddie.”

“Then where does a monster belong?”

You leapt at him, grabbing onto both of his arms, the warmth of his biceps seeping through the thin cotton, heating your palms. You felt your entire body relax just a bit, relieved to finally have him close enough to touch. 

He jerked and then stopped, two pairs of eyes so full of pain that you could drown in it. He was drowning in it, drowning in all the doubts he’d ever had about himself that had been thrust to the surface. A man who struggled to believe there was anything good in him after so many years of being told there wasn’t. 

“You are not a monster,” you stated, trying to convey how much you believed that with your eyes. “You are a good man. You would not have killed Andy. I know you wouldn’t have. He’s been tormenting you for years. He grabbed me. You reacted because you were defending me, defending yourself. Years of torment and pain took over in that moment and nobody can blame you for that. If this town knew what you’d done for them, none of them would have a bad thing to say about you.”

Eddie’s head tipped, eyes narrowing, sweet little lines appearing between his eyebrows, “What do you know about it?”

“Everything,” you told him, feeling like a ten ton truck had been removed from your chest, no longer being crushed under all the secrets, all the information you didn’t have. It was a barrier that had been removed from between them. “After you got arrested, everyone talked and decided that I needed to know what had happened. All of it.”

“All of it?” he questioned, disbelief etched within his features. 

“I think so. I know about the lab, Eleven’s powers, the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, Vecna, how you saved everyone with your guitar playing skills, how you put yourself at risk to give them more time.” You swallowed hard, your last words coming out as a sob. “How you almost died…”

“Then you know that I ran,” he spat angrily, pulling his arms from your grip, pacing across the room. A shaky hand rested on top of his head. “I saw Chrissy and I ran. I didn’t stay to help. I got scared. I was a goddamn coward. I’m still a coward. I can’t even sleep without being terrified by my nightmares. That was how he got you, you know? Vecna. I never saw him. He killed Chrissy in her mind. And then Patrick…how do you hide or protect yourself from someone who can access your damn mind?”

“Eddie,” you urged, taking a step toward him. As your hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped, lurching away from you. “Anyone would have ran. That doesn’t make you a coward. If I watched someone get plastered to the ceiling and their limbs started snapping I would run. You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“What credit? You think Harrington would have run? Hell, you think Henderson would have? No. Harrington got pulled into the lake by those damn vines and Wheeler and Buckley dove right in after him. No hesitation. They put their lives on the line because he needed help. And Henderson? He jumped through that gate, hurting himself, to come and find me. He didn't think twice about those bats. He just came to save the day.”

“And according to him, you cut those sheets and raced out to distract the bats so the others could end Vecna. Eddie, how can you not see that’s the same damn thing? You risked your life, you almost died, to protect all of them! This town couldn’t be more wrong about you.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not…I’m not good, okay?”

“No. You’re perfect.”

“Goddamn it! No I’m not! I told you when this whole thing started that being with me was a mistake. I tried to be a dick so you’d stay away from me. I fought it because you…you’re too good. You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re sweet. You’re a fucking teacher. You are a blindingly bright light and I am the darkness that will drag you down. You don’t deserve this shit.”

“This isn’t a mistake! Stop saying it’s a mistake!”

“Why?” He spun, chest heaving, soft brown eyes as dark as a moonless sky. “It is and the sooner you see that, the better off you'll be. Hell, the better off I’ll be. Because one day, maybe not today, maybe not next week. Hell, maybe not even next month, but one day, you are going to look around and realize that this was one giant fucking mistake in your life. That I am a mistake and then you’ll leave and it will be what’s best for you. I won’t even be able to be mad at you but I…”

 “You’ll what?”

Eddie closed his eyes and when they opened, there was the man you knew, the man you'd fallen for. Sweet chocolate brown gazed at you, like two windows into his soul, a soul that was fighting for its life right now between what it wanted and what it thought was right.

“I’ll never recover,” he admitted softly. “There won’t be any getting over you. I’ve never…I’ve never had a real relationship, princess. No one has ever wanted me like you do. No one has ever looked at me like you do.”

“And how is that?”

“Like I matter. Like I’m worth something.”

“You are worth something and you do matter. And I’m not going anywhere. Eddie, you are not a mistake. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. With you…with you, I feel things I didn’t even know were possible. You’re everything. You’re worth everything to me and you can push all you want but I am going to push right back.”

“What if I just end things?” he challenged.

“Is that what you want?”

“Sweetheart…”

“No. If you can look me in the face and tell me that you don’t want to be with me, then I will leave right now and I will never bother you again. But if you can’t…why are you fighting this so hard? I don’t care about your past. I mean, I do, but only because I want to be there for you. I want to be the one to soothe you out of your nightmares. I want to be the person you talk to when the shit in your head gets to be too much. I want to kiss every scar, ice every bruise, and clean every cut. I want to be here. I want you.”

“Why?”

It was such a simple question. One syllable, three letters, but the answer was anything but. Three words, eight letters…but the weight behind them was so heavy. The potential for how wrong everything could go if you said them was a train bearing down on you, you standing on the tracks, watching it come, waiting for the impact that would crush you. 

But you had to say it. You had to make him see how much he meant to you. So, you braced yourself for collision. Your eyes squeezed shut as if you could keep it from happening if you just couldn’t see it. 

“Because I love you.”

Silence. You stood, eyes closed, a boulder the size of a house sitting in your stomach. Was he going to laugh at you? Say how could you even say that when it hadn’t been that long? That you were just starting to date, to get to know each other? Would he tell you to get out?

Then large hands, metal rings cool against your flushed cheeks, cradled your face gently between them. Your eyes fluttered open to find Eddie looking down at you, his swollen lips curved up slightly on the side into the softest smile, those pools of chocolate melting right down, slipping between all the crevices within you. His head tilted forward, soft ends of his waves tickling the curve of your cheek. 

“Say that again,” he implored, fingers wrapping around your jaw, thumb coasting over your bottom lip. 

You swallowed down the fear that had risen up at your declaration, whispering, “I love you. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s too soon. I probably sound insane and I am not trying to scare you and I don’t expect you to say it back. I just…I realized it yesterday. I mean, I think I knew before that but I ignored it because…totally insane, right?”

“Prom Queen.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

Hands wrapped around your hips as his lips slammed into yours just before he pulled back, hissing, covering his mouth and yelling, “Son of a bitch!”

“Your lip!” you shrieked, fingers prying his hand away to reveal his lips bleeding fresh, the skin split anew. 

“It’s fine. It’s fine,” he grumbled. 

“No, it’s not. Here. Hang on.”

You walked over to the small kitchen, opening drawers until you found one that had a few kitchen towels. Pulling one out, you ran it under the cold water in the sink for a bit before carrying the blue checked cloth back to Eddie. 

“Let me see,” you commanded.

“I said it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. Stop being so damn stubborn for one minute and just let somebody help you,” you huffed, stepping in front of him. You brushed his hair back from his face, gently applying the cold, wet cotton to the spot on his lip. Blood was running, a little red river, down over his chin. Using the dry part of the towel, you dabbed that off before it ruined his white shirt. “There. Is that better?”

Eddie’s eyes rolled upwards as he nodded, “Yeah.”

“See? You know, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a little help every now and then. Especially when you have people who want to help.”

“It’s not that. I just…ugh!” Eddie huffed, taking the towel from you. Holding it to his lip with one hand, he took your hand in the other, leading you over to the couch. He sat, tugging you down with him. 

“What?”

“We had this really important moment and I fucking ruined it with my stupid lip. I just wanted to…look, I’m not great with words but I make up for it with my hands.”

A shiver raced along your spine because he was not lying. That man could write sonnets with his hands, he could write epic tales with his fingers, and compose complete novels with that mouth. An endless adventure that had you craving more, turning page after page until the sun rose because you just needed what happened next.

“I wanted to show you…you know? How I feel?”

Your body twisted toward him, arm resting along the back of the couch, head tilted in interest. You'd confessed that you were in love with him and no, he didn’t have to say it back. The only thing worse than him not feeling the same way you did was for him to lie and pretend he did. But you couldn’t help the desire burning within you to know exactly how he did feel about you. 

“I’m listening.”

“I…well, you know, you’re…I mean, I’ve never…” He groaned, head rocking back against the couch, free hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never had…no one’s ever looked at me like you do. I’ve hooked up with plenty of girls but it never meant anything, you know? I was just getting my dick wet and…fuck, why is this so hard? Why am I saying that to you? Jesus H. Christ.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you assured him, fingers dancing over the back of the couch, slipping along his shoulder to his neck, your palm pressing against the side of it. No, you absolutely did not want to hear about Eddie getting his dick wet with anyone but you also knew talking openly about how he felt was foreign to him. So, you weren't going to comment on that, to give him any reason to shut down on you. “You’re doing fine, baby. It’s just me and you.”

“I know. I don’t know why it’s so hard to just say the fucking words but I’ve never said them to anybody who wasn’t my uncle or Henderson, but I mean I thought I was dying. Not that I don’t love the little shrimp but it’s just not something I throw around. It’s never gotten me anywhere, you know? My dad never said that shit. Men don’t get all emotional. And my mom, she did but then she was gone and…it should be easy. They’re just words, right? But they’re not just words. Those words are everything and once you say them there is no taking them back. And if you say them and everything goes to shit, then it sucks so much more. That’s why it was always easy because I never felt that for any girl I was with. Even some of the girls that lasted a few weeks. Never and now it feels fucking impossible to just tell you and I want to tell you. I want you to know.”

“Eddie…” you said softly, your heart bouncing around in your chest like a pinball machine. Could he mean what you thought he meant? Did you dare allow yourself to believe it?

His body rocketed forward as he sat up, tossing down the dish towel, his hands grabbing onto your face. He held onto you as if you were going to disappear, turning to dust in his fingers, as if you were a balloon that he was desperate to keep from floating away into the clouds. 

“I feel like that too,” he whispered, his words urgent. “I…you know, that thing you said. Me too. I mean, you’re right. It’s nuts. We’ve only known each other for a handful of weeks and yes, I just knew. I knew it was you. I knew that this wasn’t just some way to get my rocks off for a bit. This wasn’t some girl who just wanted a taste of the dark side for a few weeks. But I have nothing to compare it to because I’ve never felt this. I wasn’t married. Hell, I haven't had a relationship last for longer than two months. So, is it that crazy?”

“Is what crazy?” you urged, knowing it was hard for him but needing him to say it. You needed those words like you needed your next breath. You needed to know if you were in this alone, if you were insane for feeling the way you did, or if he felt it too.

“Me…you know…”

“I don’t know.”

Eddie groaned, his forehead dropping to rest against yours, fingers slipping into your hair, cradling the back of your head. Your eyes slipped closed, breathing him in, swearing you could hear the sound of his heart beating in time with your own, thunderous and purposeful, like a herd of horses racing down the beach. 

“Damn it, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

“I need to hear the words, Eddie,” you pleaded, fingers grabbing the white cotton of his shirt, twisting it. “If you really feel it, I need to hear it. I promise you, you’re safe with me.”

“But what if you decide to go? What if you realize, like everyone else in this town, that I’m not worth it? That you could do better? What if you don’t have the energy to deal with what’s broken inside of me? I’m exhausting, sweetheart. Even my friends will tell you that.”

“Eddie, I am not going anywhere.” Your lips pressed against the side of his mouth, tender, careful not to touch his freshly split lip. “I could never do better than you because, I think, the reason I fell for you so hard, so fast, is because something in me recognized you. It recognized that you were the thing it was missing. Eddie, I have never felt with Cam even a fraction of the things I feel when I’m with you.”

“Well, we already established that he sucks in the sack.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” you chuckled, one hand slipping underneath his shirt, resting over his heart. “I’m talking in here. My heart somehow knew you. It sounds nuts. I know. But something in you made my heart go, there he is. That’s the one we’ve been waiting for. You’re not getting rid of me. I already told you, you can push all you want but I am going to push right back even harder. I’ll knock you on your ass if I have to.”

His nose traced over yours, over your cheekbone, until his lips were resting right neck to your ear, “I love you. Fuck, I am so in love with you and it scares the shit out of me.”

One hand still pressed to his chest, the other cradled his cheek, your insides going warm when he turned and nuzzled into it. You leaned into him, lips pressing gentle kisses to every inch of skin that wasn’t bruised or split open. You felt as his heartbeat slowed, the tension slowly easing from his body, relaxing under your touch. 

“Don’t be scared of me,” you breathed, your cheek rubbing against his and then he was cradling your arm, bringing your wrist to his mouth, his lips pressing lightly against it. 

“I’m not scared of you,” murmured Eddie, lips moving over your forearm, along your bicep, featherlight ticklish kisses, as much pressure as his mouth could handle. “I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of not being the kind of man you deserve. I’m scared of losing you, of what I would become if you left, of what I would do to keep you.”

“You won’t hurt me,” you managed, struggling when those lips reached your neck, fingers skimming over the skin just above your waistband. “I’m not scared of you. I’ve never been scared of you. I know you won’t hurt me.” Your fingers tangled in his hair, gripping it, whimpering when his tongue ran up the column of your throat. “You do deserve me. You’re more than I deserve, my real life superhero.” Your body trembled when that tongue slid up to your ear, teeth catching your earlobe. “And you’re not going to lose me. I’m yours, hopelessly and completely yours.”

“Princess, those are very dangerous words,” he growled against your ear, that hand trailing ever higher until he grazed the underside of your breast. “Because I’ve never had anything that was truly mine.”

“Well, I am,” you whimpered when his thumb ran over the hardened peak of your nipple. 

Eddie leaned forward, his body pressing into you, forcing you onto your back on the couch. His hands came to either side of your head, that face, so beautiful even bruised and bloody, hovering just inches from yours. Brown eyes, dark with something dangerous and promising burned into you, setting your entire body ablaze, turning you into a pile of ash. 

“You’re sure you want that?” he challenged, fingers working at the button on your shorts, hand slipping under your waistband, cupping your heat. “Because if you’re mine, I am never letting you go.” He pushed your panties to the side, two thick fingers pressing into you, your entire body clenching around him. “Fuck. If you’re mine, you’re only mine. I don’t like to share, sweetheart. Never been good at it. You are everything I never thought I could have.” Those fingers curled within you, your back arching, fighting through the haze of pleasure to focus on his words. “You’re everything that I want. You’re the first thing that has made me truly happy in…forever.” His thumb brushed over your clit and you bit down on your lip, hips rocking up to meet his hand. “I won’t give that up easily. I would burn this fucking world to the ground before I lose you.”

“Yes…fuck yes. I want that. I want you,” you groaned, each word a gasp. His words and his touch worked in tandem to send you flying toward the edge, teetering as you looked down at the vast drop before you that was inevitable. 

“Thank fuck,” he rasped, “because I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. You mine, baby?”

“Yes. Yours. I’m yours…” you whined, thighs trembling, toes at the edge, rocks tumbling down, the wind pushing at your back. 

“Good. That’s my girl. Now come for me, baby.”

And with those words, a softly spoken command, you tumbled over the side, plunging into the unknown. You cried out, fingers digging into the muscles of his back, your body arching into him as your orgasm took over your body. Every inch of you shook with the force of it while Eddie worked you through it. 

“My beautiful girl,” he whispered, nuzzling your face gently. “Mine. My girl.”

“Yours,” you mumbled in agreement, your body ice cream that was melting into the sidewalk on a warm sunny day, incapable of rearranging itself into a formed shape again as you sunk into the couch. “I love you.”

He grinned, wide and goofy, the skin on his lip pulling. “Son of a bitch. I love hearing you say those words. Say it again.”

“I love you,” you repeated with a giggle.

“Again.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” you yelled.

“I love you,” he said back and then you were both grinning like the lovestruck idiots that you were.

“So, while I am happier than a fox in a henhouse to hear you two yelling how much you love each other,” came a voice from the other side of the door, “I am back and I am going to open the door in about two minutes. So, if any clothing needs putting back on, consider this fair warning so none of us got to be embarrassed about anything.”

Your eyes widened as you looked up at Eddie, both of them breaking into fits of giggles as you struggled to get your shorts back on before Uncle Wayne came barging through the door. The door opened just as you were sitting up on the couch, Eddie’s arm slung casually around your shoulder, feigning an innocence you didn’t have.

Wayne raised an eyebrow, looking at them both, “Don’t you both have homes you could be doing all the naked stuff in? I thought my days of walking in on Eddie’s bare ass were long gone.”

Eddie leaned to the side, tilting his ass toward you as he looked down at it and then back at his uncle, “My ass is fully covered, thank you.”

“Mmmhmm, and I am sure all clothing was in its proper place before I walked in.”

Eddie shrugged, “I mean…no promises but seriously. How often did you ever walk in on me and a girl?”

“You didn’t need no girl to be naked, boy. I walked in on you playing guitar in your birthday suit one time. You seemed to be allergic to clothing. That boy would strip down whenever he could. Just sitting at the kitchen table, stark nude, munching on a bowl of Honeycomb. Argued with me because he wanted to sleep naked. Not in my house, he wasn’t.”

You pressed your lips together in amusement, “Really?”

“I mean, look, sometimes it’s just nice to feel a breeze down there, you know? The Scottish have the right idea with those kilts. Little Eddie doesn’t like confinement. It’s like girls with bras.”

“I don’t think you can compare a bra with basic pants and underwear,” you teased. 

“So, I am assuming, based on what I heard and what I can surmise happened in here, that this girl was able to talk some sense into you?”

“She might have,” Eddie smirked. “She’s a bit stubborn like that.”

Wayne scoffed, “Hmm. Well, then you are two peas in a pod. Ain’t nobody more stubborn than you.”

“Oh come off it, old man. Says the guy who refuses to go to the doctor for anything.”

“I don’t need to pay some quack for the common cold.”

“It was pneumonia!” Eddie argued. 

“Whatever. Now, don’t you two have a house you could choose that isn’t mine? Not that I don’t appreciate the visit but I would be mighty grateful for my chair and some quiet time to watch my programs. It’s Saturday night, you know.”

“Oh shit. We’re interrupting his Walker, Texas Ranger. That’s a sin in this place.”

You grinned, “Sorry Wayne. We’ll get out of your hair, okay?”

“What hair?” snorted Eddie.

“Boy, you ain’t too old for me to put across my knee,” warned Wayne. “Don’t you be insulting my hair just because you have a beehive on that head.”

Eddie gasped, his hands coming up to his dark locks, “Beehive? This is no beehive. This is a majestic mane that deserves respect.”

You snorted, earning an offended glare from Eddie. Laughing, you took his hand in yours, “Enjoy your show, Wayne.”

“Thank you.”

As they headed out of the trailer, you asked, “Your place or mine?”

“I don’t care as long as you’re there with me.”

And your heart fluttered because you felt the same exact way. You didn’t care where you were as long as this man was next to you. 

Chapter 24

Taglist

@tlclick73@bebe07011@eddiesguitarskills@witchwolflea@nailbatanddungeon@emilyslutface@fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes@corrodedcoffincumslut@mmunson86@josephquinnsfreckles@katethetank @cannibalsforbreakfast @cheesewritings @bellalillyrose @seatbacksandtraytables

[crysoon]

redacted men as male thot jobs

david: mechanic

the youngest at the job

shoots shit at all the old farts there

vincent: roller coaster operator

evil

enjoys faking the count downs, nothing brings him more joy than that

swings around that fucking landyard like his life depends on it

milo: barista (starbucks specifically)

doesn’t play with tall, venti and grande (either won’t take ur order if u say it incorrectly or will jus be annoying about it)

has his favourite milfs orders memorized

writes people’s names wrong/in a weird way for entertainment purposes

asher: footlocker employee

always be yelling across the damn store

laughing at his coworkers jokes

somebody asks for their size, he just goes to the back and sits there on his phone

sam: counter employee at an apple store

never at the counter

jk (maybe)

dw he sees you

fixes your phone by turning it on and off (you’ve done this 7 times already) after your 1 hour wait

damien: delivery man

finds happiness in riling dogs in the windows

on a good day, he’ll take extra good care of your package

avior: library assistant

hates everyone

(surprisingly finds it soothing putting books back on the shelves)

(he still hates everyone)

huxley: personal trainer

wouldn’t understand why the ladies are always bringing him gifts n asking abt his personal life

ollie: substitute teacher

kids LOVE him

they fist fight over whether he’s their sub or not

(likes to bug the teachers next door, especially during class time)

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

regulus

unemployed

geordi

subway sandwich artist

gavin

bath & body works employee

tricks u into buying the 3 wicked candles

cam

nurse

vega

club promoter

lasko

EMT

elliott

cheesecake factory server

olive garden line cook

door to door salesman

fucker has a lot of jobs okay

[countdogulous]

DON'T HAVE BARBIE LOOK??

JUST LOSE YOUR HEAD IN A ROLLER COASTER ACCIDENT AND HAVE IT REPLACED BY A BARBIE DOLLS!! WORKED W... WORKED FOR ME!!

THE FINALLY, FINALLY FINISHED BARBIEDOLL!JANE DOE COSPLAY BASED OFF OF @cam-stopped-eating-candles DESIGN! JUST IN TIME FOR THE MOVIE <3

FATE REALLY DOES WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

[starryeyedadmirer]

If you could get a celebrity to carry triplets for you and birth them at home in an orgasmic way with you alone. Whom would you pick? And why?

I can’t just pick one guy (typically of me, I know), so I’m gonna choose a few… just because.

1. Evan Peters

This one needs no explanation. Just go follow @Evansbirthing on instagram, and you’ll see why he’ll always be my number one, when it comes to anything birth-related.

2. Either Joe Locke, or Corey Fogelmanis (I know these are two guys, but I can decide between them, so…)

I chose these guys because they both have really small and slender builds (bodies), and I think they would definitely struggle longer, and feel everything even more intensely than the others would. Good sensations, bad sensations… all of it. It’d be a crazy roller coaster ride! Plus, I just know a triplet baby-bump would look so hot, protruding form their midsections. Tiny body, big belly, perfection! And with Joe’s unique navel, there is no going wrong here.

3. Noah Centineo, Grayson Dolan, or Cameron Monaghan

For these guys, it just comes down to the fact that they have bigger, sturdier builds. The complete opposite of Joe and Corey — with their defied muscles and broad bodies. I feel like Cameron, Noah, and Grayson will be far more capable of handling the pain, and thus, feel more of the pleasure of giving birth. Noah, in particular, would feel the good sensations more intensely than Cam and Gray, because he’d probably turn it into this deeply meditative and self-reflective experience… if he’s not overcome with panic. It can go either way, when it comes to him.

[loveandleases]

Hi again, Lea! 

Got another question/scenario ask for you: what would a day at an amusement park look like for a group trip with ROs and the MC? Like who’s rushing off to get in line for the roller coaster, who’s definitely checking out the haunted house, who’s content to just chill at the merry-go-round, what do they do when they get some time alone with MC at the top of the Ferris wheel?

Thanks again and may the words you seek come to you in a flash!

Hiya Alby! I love this ask, and the words did come to me in a flash!

Below the cut ~

❤️ Cam - The first stop for Cam is for food. He will try to eat something from every booth. Get sick halfway through, then finish the others. Cam will want to attempt the rollercoaster he will be too queasy from overeating, and instead settle for something else. Ferris Wheel he loves it. There were many times Cam would sit with MC and not let Chris, just to enjoy the moment together. If in crushing stage he might hint, about how he always wanted to just spend time with MC at the top, just stay there for as long as possible. Relationship stage, Cam will begin to tease MC. Whisper in their ear, kissing their neck.

💙 G - So they will much prefer the fun house, or merry-go-round. More laid-back things. G will happily watch you go on the rollercoaster and if you do they will win you some prizes to make up for not joining. Crushing stage G will be so awkward on the Ferris wheel. Trying to keep from touching MC, slightly flustered. It's something people on dates do, is this a date? Relationship G will just hold Mc's hand, until back on the ground when they give a soft kiss and mention they enjoy just spending time with MC...even at an amusement park.

💚 Kara - She doesn't exactly like them. There is always something spilled on the ground, people being rude and disrespectful in her personal space. If MC wants to go bad enough, she will go with them. She would like the booths that offer jewelry, or shirts things she can have to remember the day. You're not getting her on the Ferris wheel, doesn't look safe at all. How about going and listening to some live music so she can dance with you instead?

💛 M - Like a kid in a candy store! M will want to try all the rides and check all the booths. You will be stuck there for so long, I feel for you. They want the weird inflatable hammer you win, toss balls in nets sure, throw balls in pots for a fish!? Wait, they will forget to feed it maybe not that one. M would love the amusement park, their favorite part will be the haunted house. They will be clinging to MC screaming as loud as they can. You might think it was a bad idea to take them in, but once out they want to go again. M would be so nervous on the Ferris wheel, they will be reminded of the scene from the notebook. They would expect a kiss while on it, I mean it's kind of routine right?

💜 Isaac - Rollercoaster first one on it, strength game, highest score. Shoot the bottles for prizes, beat it fast. If MC wants prizes from the amusement park, Isaac is the person to take. They are competitive, they will make sure to get you what you want. They won't care so much for the rides, maybe one or two. Preferably something lowkey, I mean...they won't admit their eyeing the merry-go-round but. If they get alone time with MC while in the relationship stage, they would have a heart-to-heart about their mom. How she would bring them as a kid. Mention offhand if they ever have a kid, they would like to do the same.

🖤 Ardent - No, nope not going. Don't pout it's not cute (it is). Alright fine, but only for an hour (more like three). Ardent is like the dad of the amusement park, he has brought his niece so much. He knows what rides are the safest, which booths have the best food, and which games are rigged. Expect him to be in dad mode. You can get him to join you on the ferris wheel. Once you two get to the top he will just take a deep breath relax, and try to put an arm around you. Enjoy the scenery maybe a kiss, oh you want more than that? Naughty lil thing.

[teex]

The roller coaster of emotions was tough for Giroux as he walked out of the Wells Fargo Center as a Flyer one last time. As he prepares to make his first walk into the arena as a visitor, he is braced for another barrage of emotions. “I think going to Philly is going to be — it’s going to be hard,” Giroux said. “Being able to be in that building for a lot of years and the memories in there. But, saying that, I’ll have to keep my emotions in check and just play a good game and hopefully, give the fans a good show.” Giroux’s first taste of his post-Flyers reality came when he attended Laughton’s wedding this summer and was seated at a “former Flyers” table. He also experienced a trial run last weekend when the Flyers visited Ottawa. Following dinner with some of his former teammates the night before the game, he exchanged shoves and chirps with them on the ice. When Giroux returns to Philadelphia, he’ll get to see injured friends like Sean Couturier, Cam Atkinson, and van Riemsdyk. He’ll see the way his former teammates are trying to carry on his legacy. He’ll drive the streets he drove for 15 years and hear Lou Nolan’s voice announcing his name again. It will be as familiar as home because it’s a place where he touched hearts and had his heart touched. It’s a place he said he never thought he’d leave. Although Braun said Giroux expressed during free agency that he was “jealous” Braun was returning to Philly, Giroux is extremely grateful for where he’s at.

11/11 Inquirer article about Giroux leaving and returning to Philly

[deadlifts-and-deadlines]

You guys, my Saturday was a roller coaster 🤣

I had what I’m pretty sure is an intestinal blockage late Friday night. I was home alone with Ender when it happened and knew I probably needed to go to the hospital but I wasn’t sure how to make that happen, so I passed it at home. Definitely one of the scarier experiences I’ve ever had. I have never been so relieved to vomit and puke. Never been so relieved to see blood in my toilet. It’s wild how much better I felt as soon as it opened up, but I still feel Not Good and am still in pain so I am worried it hasn’t fully cleared. So I need to call the doctor today to see about getting some kind of scan or scope or cam to check on that.

Tried to go to the gym Saturday morning; that was dumb. Rowed for about 20:00 before I realized I was only making things worse for myself, so I went home.

I had great news waiting for me when I got home - my Stelara had arrived, with instructions to inject every SIX weeks. My GI came through; my appeal was approved! It still crazy to me that it took 1.5 months, and no one involved int the process could update me on anything. Like the only way I had any clue what was happening is bc one of my best friends is a psych doc and has to go through that a lot with her patients who are on injections and was able to kind of walk me through the process of how she deals with stuff on her end. So that’s a relief, I hope it makes a difference.

But did I stay home? No. I should have, there were so many reasons pointing to stay the fuck home. But no, I left my house to go to lunch and do some shopping with Robbie and Ender, and we were in line to order our food at Portillo’s when a man came and tapped my husband on the shoulder to ask if we owned the restaurant SUV because he hit our car trying to pull out of his parking space. I assumed that meant he like… scratched it? No, he ripped part of the bumper off 🫠 We had to have it towed. His truck was so high up that I couldn’t even see up into the windows when I was sitting inside of my SUV. He legit didn’t see us at all. I’m sorry, but you should only be allowed to drive big truck if you know how to safely operate it. So now my car is out of commission, and our other car isn’t starting, so I had to borrow a car from my parents. So not the worst, but definitely an inconvenience I do not want to deal with when I feel like ass!

Anyway, after that I was like yeah we’re done, no shopping, only rage, time to go home, and I spent 6 glorious hours on the couch reading and then we ordered pizza for dinner. So it didn’t end all bad, but man!

[goodobservationshirley]

rewatch thoughts - ep 201

here we gooooo, i'll try to squeeze through season 2 before christmas break

truly the number one thing this show is good at is time jumps, an underrated storytelling skill

cam burying her head in the sand and refusing to acknowledge problems which leaves donna having to deal with it all -> look at them being doomed <3

donna telling gordon that selling cardiff wasn't up to him anyway: ma'am that's murder

really the whole of their dynamic is being set up in this episode. yes cam can't handle change and she'll put off even acknowledging the need for it for as long as she can, but donna can get through to her better than anyone else

i acknowledge that my position as president of the donna fan club may compromise my impartiality here, but it's funny how the other three all think of themselves as visionaries and it's always donna who over and over again has the best ideas/ makes things work...

the best thing about the switch to focusing on cam/donna for season 2 is that it's free from joe's shenanigans. and i'm not even trying to dunk on him for once but he's so lost and manipulative it kinda pollutes all his relationships until season 4. cam/donna being free from all that allows the show to explore other things such as: relationships (as in partnerships of any nature) are hard. they're a lot of work, even with the best intentions

this episode feels like being at the top of the roller coaster. you can see all the twists and turns ahead of you and the anticipation is at its peak <3

oh and i almost forgot: my guy gordo has just never been well, i knew he was always sick but i didn't remember just how omnipresent that was even early on. i'm gonna cry for a full hour during 408

[pinkdiamond0714]

My FNAF OC, Diane Dragon!!!

A little background on her, so she was originally from another restaurant, similar to Chica’s Party World, with this one having a fantasy theme, with Grey the Wolf, Batty the Bat, and Stanley the Unicorn. Diane was the dummer in the band and also was the fan favorite, she was added to the Fazbear crew when all the restaurants merged.

She is possessed, with the soul of Erin, who was part of the Missing Children’s Incident. A little info on Erin, she is one of the oldest in the group, and is one of the taller ones too. She is fairly tough and will stand and fight when needed.

In Security Breach, Diane is very easily distracted and has a very one track mind. She has an area in the Pizza Plex, called Diane’s Fantasy Fair, right next to west fazcade, which is a mini amusement park, with a zip line, a Farris wheel, carnival games, and a few small roller coasters. Like a dragon, she has small hoards of little items and trinkets she’s taken from areas like the gift shops, hidden everywhere from her room to the Fair. A change I made to the story is that Monty gets to keep his legs, since you use his claw upgrade, Diane’s legs are the upgrade, so she is now crawling. This gives Freddy a faster move speed, as well as a high jump to get into secret areas.

Where they are found (first 5 at least):

1: can come from either side

2: withered-right vent Toy: left vent

3: CAM 03

4:under the bed

SL: Funtime Auditorium on night 3 with Foxy

More information on each variant will be given in their individual posts, enjoy!!!

[lveclouds]

↬ pairing: barista! jungkook x office worker reader, other members will make appearances/be mentioned 

↬ genre/aus: heavy angst, non idol au, fluff (mainly from flashbacks), lovers to exes, semi-sad ending, slight barista/cafe au

↬ summary: in which moving on completely from your ex-boyfriend turns to be extremely difficult, especially when he suddenly shows up on your doorstep, asking to spend the night. 

↬ rating(s): pg15, nc17 (see warnings) 

↬ tw: heavy swearing, mentions of alcohol, mild alcohol consumption (reader gets a bit tipsy), sad ending (ish), this drabble is basically 99% angst, jungkook is an absolute sweetheart but kind of bad at feelings and communicating (yikes), heartbreak (reader deserves the world in this fic thank you <3), mentions of arguing (brief), miscommunication/misunderstandings (sighs), slightly insecure reader, brief mentions of neglect (brief), confrontation (reader and jungkook talk things out) 

wc: 8.4k  

a/n: this drabble is part of my ‘footnote’ drabble series, as well as the ‘superache summer’ collab, hosted by @sunshinejunghoseokie​ <33333 i hope you all are enjoying these drabbles as much as i do, and i’m so so glad to be posting more again, i’ve missed writing fics and posting them <3 also i hope summer is treating everyone well <3 + this absolutely stunning fic banner was made by none other than the talented @sunshinejunghoseokie​ <3333 (TYSM CAM MWAH ILU<3) + this drabble is loosely based off the song ‘memories’ by conan gray, the icon himself <3

the months that followed your devastating breakup with jungkook would’ve been absolute hell, if it weren’t for your best friends, jimin, namjoon, hoseok, seokjin, taehyung, and yoongi. they made sure to drop by your apartment often, usually to drop off tupperwares laden with food, or just to keep you company. otherwise, you were completely and utterly alone most of the time, wallowing in your self pity and sobbing into your pillow, feeling your heart ache irrevocably at the memory of light brown doe eyes and muscular tattooed arms holding you close at night. 

it’d been difficult, to forget the warmth in your heart, at the mere mention of jungkook’s name, for you often heard about him from your colleagues at work, how he’d had a longtime girlfriend and that it was a shame someone as attractive as him was single. the old hoodies hanging in the closet and the worn photographs scattered on your bedroom floor were a cruel yet bittersweet reminder of what’d once been the happiest time of your life. 

you’d met jungkook through jimin, who had a part-time shift at a nearby cafe, and the former was the newly hired intern. he’d had bright, cherry red hair then, and his arms weren’t covered with colorful tattoos, but was still unbelievably handsome, soft-spoken, and had a heart of gold. it hadn’t taken long before you and jungkook had seemingly hit it off, bonding over your love of romantic movies and photography. 

jungkook had asked you out no more than two weeks of knowing each other, and you’d accepted. he’d taken you to an amusement park on your first date, being an absolute sweetheart the entire time, paying for any sugary treats and drinks you wanted, and insisting on holding your hand when he’d drag you on the roller coasters with lots of loops and twists and turns. he’d also won you a giant stuffed panda bear from one of those infamous carnival games that was supposedly rigged. 

the night had ended with him dropping you off at your apartment, much to your insistence that you’d be perfectly fine taking an uber or calling one of your friends to pick you up. jungkook had gone the extra mile to walk you to your door. you’d shyly thanked him for the fun night and for taking you home, readjusting your grip on the giant stuffed panda, arms straining with the effort. 

and, before you could even blink, you felt a soft pair of lips on your cheek, the kiss butterfly soft and almost fleeting. you caught a whiff of peach and cherry blossom, and you felt your cheeks burn. jungkook had given you a soft smile, light brown eyes glittering with mirth. “have a good night, y/n. i had a great time tonight.”

slowly but surely, you found yourself slowly falling for jungkook, the guy with sparkly doe eyes and a kind heart. you’d discovered that he was avid marvel fan, and had confessed to watching the first iron man film multiple times. “it’s kind of embarrassing, i mean, what normal twenty three year old geeks out over superhero films? he’d said during a picnic date, cheeks pink, and you’d immediately shaken your head. “it’s nothing to be ashamed about jungkook, i think it’s amazing that you’re not afraid to be so passionate about something. in fact, its’s quite endearing.” 

jungkook’s answering grin, light brown eyes bright and full of pure, unadulterated joy, was enough to make your heart ache. and before you could talk yourself out of it, you’d mustered up the courage to confess a mere three months later. it’d been nothing short of emotional, tears threatening to spill from the looming and impending fear that jungkook would scorn you. instead, jungkook had pulled you into a dizzying kiss that left you breathless and flustered. the dazzling grin he’d given you after, eyes crinkling at the corners, had made your pulse quicken. 

“idiot, i was wondering when to confess to you, and here you are, nearly sobbing in the middle of a park because of me.” he’d chided, tone light and teasing, and you’d laughed, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. from then on, your relationship with jungkook had grown more intimate. there were many dates, of course, from ice skating at lotte world to bar hopping, getting a bit tipsy from a few glasses of wine, it’d al felt straight out of a cliche romantic film. 

jungkook was also quite the spontaneous type, it seemed, for he’d sometimes call you at ungodly hours at night, asking if you wanted to go for a late night drive with him. of course, you’d accept, and you’d hold hands over the center console, feeling the cool, summer air wash over you, humming along softly to dean and troye sivan. those moments, when it was just you jungkook, and the open road were almost magical, and you never wanted them to end. 

when jungkook had decided to move in with you, it’d felt like a dream come true. you’d wake up curled into his side, studying his sharp profile, illuminated by the early morning sun, and, sometimes, you’d reach out and trace the slope of his jaw with your finger, as if to make sure you weren’t dreaming. you relished in the feeling of his strong arms around you, which were now covered with colorful tattoos. 

you’d lazily trace them with a finger, following the intricate lines, and ask jungkook what they meant. he was all the more happy to indulge you, and you listened to his deep yet soft as he explained the stories behind the art drawn onto his body. and despite his insistences that you’d get bored of hearing about them, you told him over and over that you’d never tire of hearing about the meanings behind his tattoos, no matter how silly they seemed to him. 

as they say, all good things must come to an end, and your relationship with jungkook was no exception. there was the fighting and arguing, like the one time he’d forgotten your one year anniversary, and you’d tried not to resent him for it, for the cafe had been unbelievably busy that day, and that was something jungkook had had no control over. 

jungkook had come home, tired and worn out, evident dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and saw you sitting at the kitchen table, still dressed in a stunning rose pink dress you’d saved up for months to be able to afford, eyebrows creasing with confusion. “why are you all dressed up like that?” was all he’d said, and that’d been the last straw. 

you’d shouted at him, allowing the overwhelming amount of anger and sadness you’d kept bottled up for hours to spill, feeling fresh tears well up in your eyes. jungkook had just stood there, slack-jawed, doe eyes widening as realization dawned over him. “wait, was today a special occasion?” he’d asked, and you’d fought the urge to laugh. 

“today was our first year anniversary, you asshole.” you’d spat, and had immediately ran out of the apartment, hastily grabbing jungkook’s car keys off the hook near the door, making a point to slam it behind you. you’d known then, that you were being a little overdramatic, but it was the first time that jungkook had ever made you feel so unloved, so neglected, and you couldn’t stand to be around him at the time. 

so, you’d driven fifteen minutes to jimin’s house, and had stood on his doorstep like a madwoman, knocking on the door. said male had answered within minutes, clad in an oversized orange hoodie and black sweatpants, lavendar hair a bit mussed from sleep. “y/n?” he’d mumbled, voice still heavy with sleep, and you’d immediately felt guilty, for showing up unannounced at his house at eleven thirty at night. 

then, you’d let out a choked sob, unable to hold back tears, and jimin had immediately pulled you into his arms, strong and warm, whispering comforting words in your ear and rubbing soothing circles on your back. it’d taken a entire ten minutes for you to stop sobbing, and then jimin ushered you inside, scolding you gently for not wearing a sweater. 

he’d guided you to sit on his living room couch, draping a warm, fuzzy blanket over you shoulders, and disappeared into the kitchen to make you a warm cup of tea. when jimin returned with the tea, you’d taken the mug from him, hands slightly shaky, and sipped on it lightly. after a long stretch of silence, jimin asked, voice ever so gentle, “did something happen?”

you’d then tearfully explained to him that jungkook had forgotten your one year anniversary due to him being so busy with work. with each and every word, you’d seen jimin’s forest green eyes grow dark, jaw clenching. though the male had quit working at the cafe, having found a position as a dance instructor at a local dance studio, he’d still drop by his former workplace often, to check up on jungkook, or sometimes just for a quick cup of coffee. 

“that prick.” jimin had growled, voice uncharacteristically cold. you’d tried to placate him, trying to reassure him that you were just being overdramatic about the entire situation, but your friend was having none of it. “no, you have every right to be angry. he shouldn’t have forgotten your anniversary in the first place, that’s just him being a neglectful partner. also, i hate that he had the audacity to ask if there was a special occasion when seeing you in this gorgeous dress. that fucking idiot, wait until i get my hands on him, i will not hesitate to kick his sorry ass.” 

you’d merely slumped on the couch cushions, feeling utterly defeated, knowing deep down that jimin had a point. jimin’s expression had softened by a fraction, and he’d wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “i’m sorry about that. i just got so pissed off hearing about how jungkook practically neglected you. he’s a good person, he is, but he tends to get in his head a lot and isn’t the best at expressing his emotions sometimes. that being said, that’s no excuse for forgetting something as major as an anniversary.” 

you’d let out a shaky sigh, and let jimin hold you, resting your head on his shoulder. “t-that’s the thing, i tried not to resent him for it, knowing how important work is to him, but i just saw him and i couldn’t h-hold back. all my emotions just spilled out of me like an overflowing sink.” you’d mumbled, feeling more defeated and exhausted than anything. you’d also made a point to apologize to jimin for the sudden intrusion, and the latter had merely shaken his head. 

“darling, no need to apologize. if my house is considered a safe space for you, and i hope it is, feel free to come over anytime. i mean it. you’re never a bother. if jungkook’s still an asshole to you, feel free to come running to me.” you’d never felt more grateful for jimin’s presence that day, for he did his best to comfort you and take your mind off a relationship that seemed to be meetings its end, by watching shitty rom-coms and letting you raid his kitchen for snacks. 

that fight had ended with jungkook showing up on jimin’s doorstep the following morning, light brown eyes full of unshed tears, pure desperation on his face. the latter had merely looked at him with an unreadable expression, though his forest green eyes were glinting dangerously. “jungkook, what brings you here this fine morning?” jimin had drawled, regarding him cooly. 

the former had demanded to see you, frantically explaining that you hadn’t been answering your calls or texts, and that he just wanted to know that you were safe. jimin had scoffed, abruptly cutting jungkook off. “well, considering that she showed up here at eleven thirty last night, in nothing but that gorgeous dress, that, mind you, she wore for a special occasion that you forgot about, with tears streaming down her face.” his tone had been sickly sweet, and yet you could hear the hint of malice hidden underneath. 

when you’d noticed that jungkook was slowly becoming frustrated, from the way his hands were curling into tight fists, as well as the telltale clenching of his jaw, you’d decided enough was enough. you’d slowly got up from where you were watching on the couch, and sidled up beside jimin, giving your boyfriend a tight smile. 

“hi, jungkook.” you’d mumbled, ignoring how your heart ached at the pure relief in his eyes at the sight of you. “y/n, i was so worried, and you didn’t pick up or respond to my texts-” “oh, so now you’re worried?” you’d snapped, cutting him off mid-sentence. jungkook’s face crumpled, shoulders slumping in defeat. “now you ask about my well-being? what about last night when i’d gotten all dressed up for our one year anniversary, which, if you didn’t already realize, you’d completely forgotten about.” you’d remarked crossly, and saw jungkook’s face pale. 

“what?” he’d breathed, and, next to you, jimin let out a cold, heartless laugh. “yeah, you asswipe, your one year anniversary was yesterday, and what did you do? abandon your lovely girlfriend, whom, may i remind you, that you definitely do not deserve, off for work, of all things.” jimin had sneered, mouth twisting in a cruel smile. jungkook’s eyes were welling up with tears, crestfallen. “i-it was our anniversary? why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve-” 

“would’ve what, jungkook? tried to take off work when the cafe was at its busiest? your boss would’ve had your head if you did that.” it was indeed true, for the person that ran the cafè jungkook now worked at full-time was known to be quite the stickler for rules. 

“i really tried not to resent you for it, since i know how important your job is to you. but, i’d be lying if i said it didn’t hurt. and maybe i’m being overdramatic, but it was the first time that’d you neglected me, at least, it felt like you did. and, when you saw me in that dress, which, mind you, i’d saved up for months to be able to afford, you asked me why i was wearing it. i mean, if you were me, wouldn’t you feel hurt? you don’t get to come over here and act like you care when last night you clearly didn’t. i get that you were exhausted, jungkook, i understand that completely, but the fact that our anniversary was more of an afterthought to you fucking hurts.” 

you’d been a sobbing mess when you’d finished ranting, and jimin had pulled you into his arms immediately, rubbing comforting circles onto your back, giving jungkook a wide berth. “you see how fucking devastated she is?” he’d said hotly, glaring daggers at the aforementioned male. 

jungkook had then fallen to his knees, tears spilling from his eyes, voice quivering with every word that fell from his lips. you’d taken pity on him, unable to stand the sight of him looking so wrecked and utterly devastated. though jimin hadn’t said anything, the amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips was a telltale sign that he was happy that you’d finally made up. 

then, everything had seemingly gone back to normal, for jungkook had become more attentive, and you’d started communicating more. but, there was always this lingering fear inside you that the happiness you felt wouldn’t last long. thus, after a few more months of complete and utter bliss, it’d all came crashing down, just as you’d dreaded. 

jungkook had began to pull away from you, purposely turning his head away when you’d tried to kiss him before he left for work, so that your lips hit his cheek instead, your dates became rushed, and he’d leave without so much as a goodbye, and visibly flinch every time your hands so much as brushed one another. he again became so focused on work that you seemed more of an afterthought. 

there were many nights where you slept at jimin’s house, unable to bear living in the same space as jungkook, who’d seemed less like your boyfriend and more of a stranger. jimin would hold you as you’d cry into his shoulder, lamenting about how you wished things were different. unlike before, it’d taken no time at all for you to resent jungkook for his behavior once again, and, after months and months of enduring a relationship where you felt unloved and unimportant, you’d decided that it was better if you ended things. 

you finally confronted jungkook, confessing that it was exhausting pretending that everything was okay and that you were content with being in a relationship where you didn’t feel cherished or important. the look of utter devastation and confusion that flashed across jungkook’s face was one you’d never forget the sight of. 

his light brown eyes, the very ones you used to adore, had filled with unshed tears, desperate pleas spilling from his lips, begging for you not to leave, that he would change, that he would work on himself, and try to make things better again. it’d taken all of your self control and resolve not to throw yourself into his arms again. 

instead, you’d shaken your head softly, a sad smile curling at the corners of your mouth. “i’m sorry, jungkook, but maybe you and i weren’t meant to be together. thank you for showing me what it was like to be loved and cherished, and for giving me a shoulder to cry on, for taking me on the most amazing and fun dates i’ve ever had in my life. but, i bared my heart and soul to you, and all i get in return are empty promises. i can’t take any more of that, jungkook. so please, stop promising me things that you’ll never keep to. don’t get my hopes up, don’t give me that sense of hope that maybe you’ll change, you’ll try to be better. because i know that despite your efforts, we’ll end up going back to how we were these last few months.” 

it’d been difficult, to walk away from the one person that you’d bared your heart and soul to, but, in the end, it was for the best. jungkook moved out within a week, and you didn’t bother to bid him farewell, for the sight of him would’ve been too much to bear. and, in the months that followed, after jungkook was no longer a part of your life, jimin enlisted the help of yoongi, namjoon, hoseok, taehyung, and seokjin to check up on you every now and then, making sure that you were doing alright, that you were eating, that you were getting enough sleep. 

the last thing you’d expected was to find jeon jungkook, your ex-boyfriend, standing on your doorstep at exactly nine thirty pm, amidst one stormy summer night, drenched from head to toe, shivering slightly. “jungkook?” said male gave you a sheepish grin, rocking back and forth nervously on his heels. “h-hi. how’ve you been?” 

you hated the way the deep and soft timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, loathed that jungkook still had an effect on you. you gave him a polite, tight-lipped smile. “i’m alright, what about you?” jungkook shuffled awkwardly on his feet. “work’s been keeping me busy, for the most part.” rain splashed down onto your driveway, turning the world into mist and water, and the smell of petrichor lingering in the warm summer air. 

“what are you doing here?” it must’ve come out harsher than intended, for you saw jungkook visibly wince. “i-i know that i’m the last person you want to see right now, a-and i would’ve gone to jimin hyung’s, but we kind of fell out of touch after we broke up, and i doubt he’d appreciate me showing up on his doorstep with no warning. and, everyone else i know weren’t available, so i guess my only option was you. i have no where else to go, and i kind of took the bus here since my car broke down and i still haven’t gotten it fixed yet. s-so, i was wondering if i could spend the night? i promise i’ll be gone by tomorrow morning.”

you tensed at his words. stay the night? is he insane? you fought the urge to laugh out loud from disbelief. your ex-boyfriend, the person you’d bared your heart and soul to, was standing on your doorstep, asking to spend the night, of all things. 

you drank in the sight of him, summer rain had plastered his hair to his forehead, and soaked his loose, gray shirt, which did nothing to hide the breadth of his shoulders and chest, and his black shorts stuck to his muscular thighs. jungkook was still as handsome as ever, black hair now a icy blue, which only accentuated the light brown of his eyes. 

your heart clenched at how gorgeous he still was, and immediately hated yourself for it. you loosed a breath. “ok, fine, you can stay for the night, but if you try anything, i’m kicking you out immediately.” you hated, hated, the way jungkook’s nervous expression morphed into one of absolute gratitude and relief. “thank you.” he mumbled, and you shook your head. “don’t mention it. as much as i can’t stand the sight of you, i’m not so heartless to leave you out in the rain.” 

jungkook’s mouth curved into an amused smile. “well, i’m honored then.” “you should be.” it was scary how natural the exchange was, for you hadn’t seen the aforementioned male in months and it’d felt as if no time had passed between you, like he hadn’t shattered your heart. as he moved past you, you caught a faint whiff of his scent, peach and cherry blossom, and you loathed the way your pulse quickened. 

your ex-boyfriend stood now in the middle of your living room, shuffling awkwardly, fiddling with his hands, drenched head to toe with rain, and was probably getting water on your carpet, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “let me get you a towel and some clothes.” you murmured. 

you retrieved a spare towel from your closet, as well as one of jungkook’s old shirts that he hadn’t bothered to take, as well as a pair of sweatpants, and headed back towards the living room, with your heart in your stomach. everything hurt, and all of your memories with the man you’d once loved were now flashing across your mind. 

you plastered on what you’d hoped was a convincing smile as you handed jungkook the clothes and towel, careful not to let your fingers brush against his. his light brown eyes widened at the worn black shirt in his hands. “is this mine?” he asked, voice a bit shaky, and you gulped nervously, eyes drifting towards the floor. “it is, you’d forgotten it when you moved out, and, for some reason, i couldn’t bring myself to throw it out. some of your shirts are still in my closet.” 

“i-i’ll go change.” jungkook said quietly, and you nodded, moving to sit on the couch. as soon as he was out of earshot, you slumped against the couch cushions, mind reeling. what the hell? he can’t just show up so suddenly and pretend like everything’s okay. not when he- stop. it’s not like he asked you to get back together with him or anything. 

some thirty minutes later, jungkook sauntered into the living room, drying his hair with the fluffy towel you’d given him earlier, his black shirt tight around his shoulders and chest, and you fought down the blush that threatened to form. the muscles in his arms flexed as he dried his hair, and you cursed yourself mentally for noticing. don’t be a creep.

“i hope you don’t mind that i took a shower.” “not at all.” you managed to say, voice calmer than you felt. jungkook gave you a small smile, a tiny dimple indenting in his cheek, and god, your heart was much too weak for this. the couch dipped as he plopped down unceremoniously next to you, folding the towel and placing it on the coffee table. 

a long stretch of silence fell over you, and you fidgeted nervously with your hands, unsure of what to say. after a while, jungkook awkwardly cleared his throat. “c-can we talk?” “of course we can, jungkook, it’s not like we’re strangers.” “i mean, can we talk about what happened? between us i mean.”

you froze, your stomach curling with dread. this was what you were afraid of by inviting jungkook to stay the night, that he’d want to talk about how your relationship failed. “there’s nothing to talk about jungkook, we weren’t meant to be together, and that’s that. there’s nothing to discuss, and you made that very clear months ago, when you practically treated me like a stranger.” 

at this, jungkook’s expression grew forlorn, and his light brown eyes were dark with regret. “i hated myself for treating you the way that i did, even after we broke up. you were nothing but kind, loving, and just an amazing partner, and i was the opposite. i constantly pushed you away, and let work take priority over the one person that i ever truly loved with all my heart. i know i never said anything like that to you, but i promise you that i did, and that i never regretted it, asking you out or our relationship in general. you were the only person that put up with my bullshit.” 

he took a deep, shaky breath, and kept going. “i’ve never been good at relationships, hell, i even ruined my friendship with jimin hyung, who was my one and only really close friend, and one of the only people who wasn’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit. jimin hyung  would tell me that i fucked up or that i was being a complete ass, straight to my face. i think that’s one of the reasons why i admire him so much, he’s not afraid to tell people how he really feels, he’s not afraid to be honest and upfront. he’s not scared of being vulnerable.” 

“i’ve always been shit at expressing myself, i tend to build these walls around me and not let people in, which is why i’m not super close with a lot of my friends. i have a hard time expressing my desires, or even just my feelings. i’ve also never been in love with someone, at least, that is, where i can see myself growing old with them. i know none of this is an excuse for the way i treated you, like a complete stranger and not the person i cherish most in this world, and for that i’m sorry. apologies are pointless, especially now that we’re no longer together, but i wanted to do as much in front of you. you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met, and you did not deserve to be treated like absolute garbage.” 

you fought back tears, hands clenching the soft fabric of your hoodie. “then why? why did you pull away from me? why did you act as if you didn’t love me?” jungkook’s light brown eyes glinted with unshed tears. “because i was scared. scared that if i was vulnerable and open with you, that you’d think that i’m not strong enough, that i was weak.” 

you gaped at him, feeling fresh and hot tears slide down your cheeks. “w-why would you ever think that? you being open and vulnerable with me was all i wanted, jungkook. i just wanted you to be honest with me.” a sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “i’m shit at communicating.” “i’m not sure why i thought that way, i guess it’s because you’re such a strong person that i wanted to show you that i could be like that too.” 

your heart ached. all this time, it was because he was afraid of baring his heart to me? you sniffled. “d-did you not trust me?” at that, jungkook’s eyes grew wide. “no, of course not! you were one of the only people that i trusted the most.” “t-then why didn’t you tell me anything? why did you push me away? why did you make me feel like i was completely and utterly alone?” you lamented, unable to keep the tears at bay, feeling your body shake with soft sobs. 

jungkook’s eyes flitted over to you, tears of his own sliding down his cheeks, voice cracking. “because i knew i truly didn’t deserve you, not even for one second. you deserve someone better, someone who won’t push you away or treat you like a stranger, someone who will hold and comfort you when things go to shit, and someone who will love you better than me, someone who will cherish and love you for the rest of your life, someone who will be open and honest with you.” 

your heart felt as if could shatter at any second, and your chest felt tight, and your mind was spinning, and the tears wouldn’t stop coming. you hated every shuddering, stupid gasp. hated the naked pain in jungkook’s eyes as he stared at you, silent sobs racking his body. 

“this was a mistake. i shouldn’t have let you in, we have too much history together.” you found yourself saying some minutes later, surprised that you sounded calmer than you felt. jungkook just nodded, shoulders slumping in defeat. “you’re right, i shouldn’t have come here in the first place.” as jungkook moved to get off the couch, you should’ve let him. you should’ve let him walk out the door and out of your life, just as he had all those months ago. 

before you could talk yourself out of it, you blurted, “wait.” jungkook froze, light brown eyes resembling a deer caught in headlights, and you fought the urge to laugh. “it’s still raining like cats and dogs out there, i’m not going to make you walk home when the weather is absolute shit. stay the night, but just remember to leave first thing tomorrow. tonight was a lot for me, and i honestly don’t think i can be around you any longer.”

you mentally winced at how harsh your words were, but it was the truth. jungkook being in your apartment, the very one he’d lived in while you were dating, was overwhelming enough, apart from him apologizing for treating you like absolute shit during those last few months. he had become a distant memory, and now, here he was, showing up at your doorstep, and the minute you saw his brown eyes, you knew that deep down, you could never deny him, could never turn him away. 

“a-are you sure?” jungkook asked tentatively, carefully, as if he were afraid of angering you. “yes, i’m sure. i’ll take the couch, and you can take the bed.” you fought down the blush that crept onto your cheeks. aforementioned male shook his head. 

“no, i’ll take the couch, i’m the one that just barged in here.” jungkook said with a tone that brooked no argument, and you sighed in defeat. “ok, fine, but only because i know you’ll keep pestering me about it until i give in, you absolute menace.” you joked, and to your relief, jungkook grinned in return. “you know it.” 

later, in the darkness and wrapped in the coziness of your bedsheets, you stared up at the ceiling, unable to keep your thoughts at bay. this is fine. your ex-boyfriend is currently sleeping under the same roof as you, no big deal. he’s sound asleep in the other room, nothing to worry about. the last few hours had been quite overwhelming, to say the least. from jungkook showing up at your doorstep, clothes and skin soaked with rain, asking to stay the night, and then, the truth, the reason why jungkook had treated you like a stranger all those months ago. 

though you were exhausted, you just couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. sighing, you reached for your phone, the soft blue light casting shadows across your face, and grimaced when you saw you had several missed calls from jimin and a flurry of texts from namjoon, yoongi, hoseok, taehyung, and seokjin. shit. you’d forgotten to text them when you’d arrived home from a quick walk around the neighborhood. 

grimacing, you dialed jimin’s number, bracing yourself for the lecture from the short yet feisty male. jimin picked up after two rings, breathless and a bit frantic. “y/n! what the hell?” he whisper-shouted, and you winced. jimin was not happy. “i’m sorry, i meant to call you after i came home from a walk earlier, but after my shower, i fell asleep. also, this probably isn’t the right time to tell you this, but uhm, j-jungkook’s here.” 

a pause, a long stretch of silence, and then: “what?! are you fucking shitting me right now? that asshole’s at your place? why?” jimin demanded, tone outright glacial. “it’s not for the reason that you think.” you blurted, glad he couldn’t see the way your cheeks flushed with color. “he got caught in the rain, a-and his car broke down. he had nowhere else to go, jimin, i mean, i doubt you’d let him in your house, especially after what happened.” 

“you’re right, i wouldn’t. that asshole hurt you, and the sight of him would piss me off.” jimin said hotly. “so, i-i might’ve let him stay the night.” “are you insane?!” he hissed, and you sighed. “look, it’s not like i wanted to let him stay here, given our history and whatnot, but, despite that, i don’t want anything bad to happen to him. i mean, yes, he broke my heart, but is it bad that i still want him to be in my life?” 

“sweetheart”,  jimin breathed, voice now impossibly soft, “he doesn’t deserve you, not for one second, but if you really want him to be a part of your life, then, i guess i can’t prevent you from making amends. and, if you want, i can try to get along with him again.” that last part was said begrudgingly, but you couldn’t help but smile. 

“you’re the best, jimin, you know that?” he scoffed, and you could imagine the light blush on his cheeks. “yeah, yeah, i’m well aware. do you need me to come over?” you felt your heart warm, jimin had always been like that, considerate and unfailingly kind. “no, it’s okay, i’ll be fine. besides, jungkook will be gone by tomorrow morning anyway.” there was a long pause, as if jimin wasn’t entirely convinced that you’d be able to endure a night with your ex-boyfriend.

finally, he let out a long sigh, the sound more resigned than anything. “fine, but you text or call me immediately if you change your mind.” you thanked him, and hung up, letting your mind wander once again. would i be happy to have jungkook again in my life? is it so foolish to think that things could go back to the way they used to be? is it just wishful thinking? 

while jungkook had ultimately broke your heart, he also had had the gall to apologize, face to face, of all things, despite that your relationship had ended on bad terms. you hated feeling so conflicted over the man who’d you once believed to be the most important person in your life. sighing, you turned over on your stomach, burying your face into your pillow, fighting the urge to scream in frustration. 

after long, agonizing seconds, you slipped out of bed and padded over to your closet, opening the door ever so slowly. jungkook’s old shirts, of which you hadn’t bothered to throw away, were scattered all over the floor in heaps of fabric. your eyes shifted to the black and white jacket bunched up in the corner, wedged in between some old shirts you’d meant to throw out. 

a sad smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you fished it out, the fabric soft against your fingertips. without thinking, you brought the jacket up to your nose and sniffed, to see if it’d still had the lingering scent of jungkook’s perfume. sure enough, you caught a faint whiff of peaches and cherry blossom, and immediately, your heart ached. 

the memory of your first date had always lingered in your mind, even after things had come to an abrupt and tragic end. you could picture the colorful and bright lights of the amusement park, the sugary sweet scent of cotton candy and churros, the salty and buttery scent of popcorn, and the joyful laughter and light chatter that filled the air as you’d let jungkook drag you onto roller coaster after roller coaster. 

you even remembered what he’d worn that night. a loose, white shirt tucked into slightly distressed blue jeans with holes at the knees, a black belt wrapped around his impossibly small waist, black combat boots, and the very same black and white jacket that you’d kept and hadn’t bothered to throw out.

 jungkook had decided to go on the ferris wheel, and you’d obliged, letting him pull you in its direction. as the ferris wheel had rotated to the top, you’d felt a cool rush of air wash over you, and almost immediately, something warm and light had been draped over your shoulders. you’d protested, insisting that you weren’t that cold, but jungkook had given you a soft smile, light brown eyes soft. “keep it. it suits you better than me, anyway. and besides, i can’t have my date turn into an icicle can i?” the memory that had once warmed your heart only made it ache now, it was painful to recall, the time when you’d been blissfully happy, so in love that you’d thought nothing could ever get in the way of your relationship with jungkook. you furiously blinked back tears, refusing to lament over him yet again, and hastily shoved the jacket back into the closet, firmly shutting the door. 

you exhaled softly, shutting your eyes, as if doing so would block out the string of memories threatening to spill to the surface. no, no more. stop groveling over the man who broke your heart. it’s been months, get it together. let him go, it’s time you let him go. there’s no point in having false hope that things could be different, that things could go back to normal.

 as if on cue, there was a soft knock at your door, snapping you out of your mini trance. sighing, you went to open it, and was surprised to see a sheepish jungkook behind it, nervously fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. “h-hi.” he mumbled softly, and you gave him a tight-lipped smile in return. “do you need anything?”

jungkook gave a slight shake of his head. “i just… i couldn’t sleep, a-and so i decided to check on you, make sure you’re doing okay.” you ignored the slight warmth in your heart at his words. no, don’t fall for them again, you idiot, don’t make the same mistake twice. “jungkook, please, just stop.” you pleaded, curling your hands into tight fists at your sides in an attempt to keep them from shaking, ignoring the crestfallen expression on jungkook’s face. 

“don’t do this, jungkook, please. don’t stand in front of me and say all these pretty words that ultimately mean nothing in the end. don’t give me false hope that things could’ve been different between us, that maybe you wouldn’t treated me the way that you did, that you didn’t shatter my heart into a million fucking pieces. stop trying to convince me that i should let you back into my life. while i don’t regret what we had, falling for you was my first and last mistake. you’re an amazing person, jungkook, but i think it’s better if we stay out of each other’s lives.” 

you forced yourself to look into his eyes, seeing nothing but pure devastation and confusion, and despite yourself, your heart cracked at the sight. “y/n, please, don’t do this. i don’t want to lose you. i-” “you’d already lost me that day. that day that i finally realized that things weren’t going to work out after all, and that you and i were doomed to fail from the start.” 

jungkook’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “so, is this it? is there where our story ends?” he asked, voice cracking. you nodded slowly, ignoring the lump in your throat. “this is where we end, jungkook. though we may never cross paths again, i will never forget all the happy memories you gave me.” “c-can i at least hug you? one last time?”

you barely nodded before being pulled into a tight and warm embrace, strong arms wrapping around your back, holding you close. “i’m sorry for hurting you, and i wish you nothing but the best in life, and i hope, sincerely hope, that you find someone who can love you better than i ever could.” jungkook whispered into your hair, and you bit back tears, feeling your heart ache irrevocably. 

deciding to cut jungkook out of your life, for good, was one of the hardest decisions you’d ever made, but you knew that it was for the best. there was no point in trying to delude yourself into thinking that trying to fix a relationship that’d ended tragically. “i’ll always care about you, never forget that.” you murmured, inhaling the scent of his peach and cherry blossom scent, achingly familiar and comforting. 

it’d seemed like forever when jungkook pulled away, hands brushing against your knuckles tenderly. “goodbye, y/n, and i hope that you will always be happy, because you deserve nothing less than that.” and when you’d heard jungkook’s footsteps recede, you fell to your knees, letting out a choked sob. cutting ties with the one man you’d ever loved hurt, it hurt like hell, and you wished that you could take it back, but the damage had been done. 

a year later, you sat on a worn picnic blanket in a field of sunflowers in gangwon-do, admiring the stark contrast of the bright petals against the green grass, and the cloudless blue sky. you were wearing a flowy, light blue sundress with thin straps and brown sandals, letting the cool breeze wash over you. it’d been an entire year since you’d decided to cut ties with your first love, jungkook, and while the healing process hadn’t been easy, it hadn’t been entirely unpleasant, not with jimin, namjoon, yoongi, hoseok, taehyung, and seokjin by your side. 

your friends had been nothing but unfailingly caring and loving and doting ever since that fateful day, doing their best to support you in any way they could. you would forever be grateful for everything that they did. speaking of your friends, they were seated next to you on the picnic blanket, all smiles as they dug into the food that’d been specially prepared by seokjin; there are tiny puff pastries, whipped cream and strawberry sandwiches, chocolate chip cookies still warm from the oven, gooey and soft, fluffy cheese sausage bread, vegetable kimbap, sesame chicken on skewers, and a tall pitcher of pink lemonade. 

it’d been taehyung’s idea for the impromptu picnic, insisting that the weather was much too nice to pass up the opportunity to “be one with nature”, as he’d put it. everyone had quickly agreed, even yoongi, who’d argued that it was too hot at first, but had given in eventually, thanks to taehyung’s puppy dog eyes and incessant pleading. 

you were glad that taehyung had insisted on the outing, for it’d been a welcome distraction. work was going well, and though the pay wasn’t great, it kept you busy. and while hearing jungkook’s name still made your heart ache at times, you hadn’t once thought about him and the blissful memories you’d had together, nor had you stayed up at night thinking about what could’ve been. 

slowly, but surely, you were finally healing from the immense heartbreak jungkook had caused you. though, you still hoped that he was doing well, and that’d he’d found someone else, and that he was happy. “penny for your thoughts, y/n?” a teasing, lilting voice said, snapping you out of your trance. 

jimin was seated closest to you, ethereal in a loose, white button down, ripped blue jeans, and his usual chelsea boots. “everything okay?” he asked, and while his light green eyes were bright with mirth, you could see the concern hidden beneath them. “i’m fine, just got lost in my head for a bit there.” 

“you better not be lying, sweetheart, or i will personally see to it that you tell me the truth.” jimin drawled, tone bordering on flirtatious, and you rolled your eyes, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “you’re a fucking menace.” you hissed, but with no real heat, and jimin just gave you a smug smile. “all in a day’s work, babe.”

“alright, lovebirds, quit flirting. you’re traumatizing everyone.” seokjin scolded, but the teasing glint in his cerulean blue eyes said otherwise. “shut up, jin hyung, you’re just jealous because you haven’t had a date in like three years.” jimin shot back. “first of all, fuck you, it’s only been two months, and second, quit being a brat before i strangle you.” 

“ooh, kinky.” “for fucks sake, park jimin, you’re an absolute menace to society.” “so i’ve been told.” jimin grinned. “leave him alone, hyung, he’s just using insults as a defense mechanism.” taehyung said breezily, snatching a puff pastry and popping it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. jimin threw a hand over his heart in mock hurt. “taehyung, the peanut butter to my jelly, the sun to my stars, the soul to my mate, how dare you? i thought we were friends!” 

said male simply rolled his eyes, used to jimin’s dramatics. “whatever helps you sleep at night, you absolute weirdo.” namjoon snorted from his spot next to taehyung, dark green eyes glittering with amusement. jimin narrowed his eyes at the tall male. “you have something to say, hyung?” 

namjoon shook his head, an amused smile curling at the corners of his mouth. “nope, nothing at all, my lips are sealed.” next to him, yoongi just sighed, the sound more resigned than anything. “you all are a bunch of idiots, you know that?” taehyung just beamed, undeterred. “but you love us anyway!” the former gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “yeah, yeah, whatever.” hoseok grinned, showing off straight, white teeth. “quit acting like an old man, yoongi, we all know you have a soft spot for us.” 

said male scoffed, pink coloring his pale cheeks. “s-shut up. even if it were true, i would never admit such a heinous thing.” taehyung snorted, reaching for another puff pastry. “you’re seriously a pain in the ass sometimes, hyung.” “right back at you, you little shit.” hoseok burst out laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

you couldn’t help the amused chuckle that spilled from your lips, feeling lighter than you had in a while. throughout the long months of healing and forgetting jungkook, you’d slowly found yourself falling for jimin. it’d felt wrong at first, for he and jungkook had once been close friends, but it was useless to ignore the fluttering in your chest at jimin’s charming and gorgeous smiles, his flirtatious and mischievous nature, and how utterly caring and selfless he was. 

jimin had always been there, you’d realized, to lend you a shoulder to cry on or to hold you when things got overwhelming at work or when you’d had a bad day. he was always there to make you laugh and to take you out on impromptu adventures or trips. jimin was also the person you were the closest with in your circle of friends, having met him in high school. 

and while you weren’t quite sure if what you felt for jimin was entirely romantic or not, you knew that what’d you had with jungkook now seemed like a distant memory, and with jimin and your friends by your side, the future didn’t seem all too bad. you smiled, feeling your heart warm, and reached over to lace jimin’s fingers with yours. 

without even looking, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, and continued on bickering with jin, as if he weren’t holding your hand. for the first time in a while, you were truly happy, and the road ahead didn’t seem all that terrifying. 

a/n: wtf was that ending ew anyways i hope you all enjoyed this <3 i’m so sorry this took me FOREVER to write sdflkdjlkjf i needed a break from writing all this angst lmao also shoutout once again to cam and honour for keeping me sane while writing this <3333 (I LOVE Y’ALL MWAH) also, shoutout to my irl bestie, whom i adore and love with all my heart <333 ALSO ATEEZ’S CB !!!! THIS ALBUM IS YET AGAIN A NO SKIP ALBUM <3333 CYBERPUNNK IS AN ICON, THE MOMENT AND I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THIS <3 my next drabble will be a yoongi one hehe <3 also i did not mean for this to be so long oops- 

tagging: @sunshinejunghoseokie, @joonlery , @astramoonchild, @kookdiaries , @sketchguk , @baljinciaga, @jtrbluv , @yoon2k , @jeonjcngkook , @jeonqkooks, @jeonqquk , @taeyo95 , @rkivian , @jimilter , @kth1 , @lovebearv , @sugakookitty, @hobeemin , @blushingkoo , @joonscypher , @codeinebelle , @writtenwhalien​ , @mochimolala​, @aquagustd, @raplinesmoon @kithtaehyung , @taegularities , @beckysworld7 , + anyone else who wants to be tagged <3

[fatalfangirl]

It's Friday! I'm traveling today and am distracting myself from flying anxiety with fics. Forever thankful for the quality of writing in this fandom. Here are some recent favs:

His Mercy, Mine - NSFW - by @facewithoutheart

What a damn roller coaster. I went into this only having read some of the snippets posted on tumblr - didn't read the tags, didn't skim - zero spoilers. And that's how I think this fic should be consumed if you want maximum gasps. The split timeline storytelling is really effective, as are the descriptions/language used for the gladiatorial AU. I loved it. The only other thing I'll say is don't skip the second chapter :) I'm also currently reading the author's latest WIP: This Will All Go Down In Flames and would rec that too. The Austin based fic is full of feels, music, and local beer. AND a goat.

wasabi - NSFW - by xivz

Roommates snowbaz stuck in quarantine and featuring cam boy Simon! What is not to love! Baz's thirst is so good in this. Wonderfully demented. Perfect amount of lust, which is to say an overflowing bucket of it. The author also recorded a podfic for wasabi and holy hell 🥵 the narration was so hot. It made me pause mid folding laundry with a flush. Had to fan myself. Definitely worth both a read and a listen!

network connectivity problems - SFW - by BasicBathsheba

This one came as a rec from @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @whatevertheweather after I confessed having only read one Ban fic before. And wow. I loved it. Textfic gold. GOLD I tell you! Simon texts a number thinking he might be IT and help his computer woes, but in reality it's Baz, Simon's uni nemesis, former roommate, and ruthlessly good footballer. The fic is charming and funny and goes where you hope it does with a few little surprises in between. Strong rec for a late night read. (I'm also currently obsessed with Local Hero, which I'm half through, and cannot believe I didn't read these fics sooner, but happy I have them now.)

The Boy and the Summoned - NSFW - by @takitalks, art by @ic3-que3n

I am a sucker for demon Simon. It is one of my favorite versions of Simon (next to dragon) and this fic hits the damn spot. Very cool AU with a canon divergence that has Natasha surviving the Watford attacks, but as a price - and how she dealt with the fallout of that event is a mystery that seems connected to a ring (and a demon) Baz finds on Pitch grounds years later. I love the vibe of this fic, the sort of gothic creepiness of the Pitch estate and the menacing dark fog that surrounds Simon. Excited to see where the mystery takes us!

in the Dust of Dragons - NSFW - by @martsonmars, art by @nick-eyre

This fic is so well written. It's fantasy done exceptionally and makes me feel nostalgic for my childhood of curling up with a books and escaping to fantastical lands. The lore and storytelling is pulling cleverly from canon and has us following Baz on a solo journey (thus far) carrying the weight of his trauma and a heart that is still soft at its core. There is dragon Simon and magic and a Penny that will not take shit from anyone. And we're only 2 chapters in. This is going to be good folks. Dive in and enjoy the ride with me.

[gra-sonas]

The CW's Roswell, New Mexico's Isobel -- portrayed by Lily Cowles -- is experiencing a bit of a rough patch. After summoning up the strength and courage to reveal that she's an alien from another planet living on Earth to her girlfriend, Anatsa, they broke up before she could drop the bombshell.

In addition, after Cam goes missing, Isobel stumbles across her unconscious body in the middle of the desert, except Cam now has two blue-colored eyes. It's all too much for Isobel to absorb, and in tonight's episode, "You Get What You Give," she takes off to Mexico to relax and reunite with a surprised Kyle. But the vacation turns into more than sand and sun when they uncover a secret about their families that goes back generations. Cowles recently spoke with CBR about Isobel's crumbling romance, unexpected connections between the Evans and Valenti families, steamy encounters, and the series finale.

CBR: In the last episode, Isobel discovers an unconscious, blue-eyed Cam in the middle of the desert. Where do things pick up tonight in "You Get What You Give?"

Lily Cowles: Oh my gosh, I know. She finds Cameron in a terrible position. It was so horrible filming that scene. I hated that scene, to find your friend naked and alone in the desert. It's like, ''What happened?'' It's very shocking. And, then, the realization that Cam has these blue eyes. What is going on? But Isobel brings Cam to safety and gets her in the hands of Liz and Max, who are figuring out what's going on with this. Meanwhile, Isobel just had this terrible break-up and she's feeling very blue and down about it. So, like any smart woman, she decides to take herself on a vacation, and she heads down to Mexico and bumps into Kyle while she is there.

We kind of gloss over this in the episode, but his family owns a Tequila distillery. I think Isobel is particularly excited about this. While she's there, Isobel actually thinks she's going to be taking a little vacation. But it turns out there are mysteries awaiting both of them. Kyle and Isobel are about to unfold some interesting new facts that are going to change the shape of how the investigation goes from there.

Isobel was this close to coming clean to her girlfriend, Anatsa, about her alien bloodline… Except they broke up, instead. How hard is that hitting Isobel?

It's so hard for Isobel. This has been the struggle of her life, is being honest with people. Isobel has some pretty deep-seated trust issues. It's really hard for her to open up. When you have a secret that big, you don't know how it's going to be taken. Her friends are like, ''Just be honest. Just tell them your truth.'' But Isobel's truth is so deeply frightening. It's not that Isobel could be rejected by Anatsa. It's also in telling Anatsa, an investigative journalist, this truth, she might end up using that against her. Talk about a story.

So, it's not just about protecting herself. Isobel has a long-standing history of wanting to protect her family and her brothers. She really struggled with putting them in a position where they would be vulnerable. But what does this mean for her personal relationship? She's caught between a rock and a hard place. Either she's potentially betraying her family, potentially endangering her family, or she's lying in a big way to the person she's intimate with. Neither of those are good options.

Isobel feels, in this moment, she wants to tell Anatsa. She's spent the last few episodes building herself up for it, getting the courage to do it. Isobel finally gets to that moment and Anatsa, justifiably, goes ''I can't take this roller-coaster ride with you.'' Isobel is a lot. She is definitely a roller coaster. It's heartbreaking for Isobel. I think it's heartbreaking to have gotten yourself to a point when you open yourself like that, when you are ready to be so open and vulnerable with somebody, and they tell you ''I don't want you.'' And it's not even based on what Isobel is telling Anatsa, ''Because you are an alien, I don't want you.'' That hurts. That hits her hard,

This trip to Mexico ends up being more than just a vacation. What can you tease about what they uncover in that house and how it impacts their upcoming battle with other invaders?

They find some history about the Valenti family. Something that is really beautiful is we get a little insight into the way the Valenti family has been involved, for many generations, in this fight. One little tidbit is that Kyle's family has been protecting Isobel's family for generations and generations. I think that adds to the sense of closeness that the two of them have. Isobel has had this feeling that Kyle has always been on their side, fighting for them and protecting them. She's had this loyalty towards him because of that. To learn that extends through generations of bloodlines is really meaningful and beautiful. That's one thing. We are also going to meet some new characters. We are going to get some new information on what that legacy entails.

Speaking of closeness, Kyle has always burned this torch for Isobel. There's plenty of flirting going on in this episode. How much of that is the booze talking and how much of that is being on the rebound?

That's the question. Isobel has just gotten out of this intense relationship. You get a little booze in you and being around an attractive person… Maybe it feels nice to think, ''Do you believe in life after love?'' For Isobel, her relationship with Kyle extends so far beyond this night. There's a moment earlier in the season, when they are at the wine tasting, and Anatsa confronts Isobel. ''Do you have a thing with Kyle?'' And she's like, ''What?''

But I think for people on the outside, it's clear that there is something going on between these two. Isobel, to an extent, has shut it off and almost has blinders about it. To a certain extent, she values him so much. She has a suspicion that she's bad at relationships. I think she has this fear, in her heart, that maybe she's like a broken person. I don't think she would be willing to risk losing Kyle, as someone she loves and trusts so much, by getting involved with him. I think that's what has been going on for her. But they have a lot of chemistry. It's like a boiling pot with a lid on it. It's a slow boil and it's only a matter of time before something erupts there.

Michael and Max's alien powers are in a state of flux. How much should Isobel be worried about her own extraterrestrial abilities?

Isobel has been smart enough not to go around sticking her fingers in holes and getting herself into trouble like Max and Michael. She's been very judicious about keeping herself safe. She's kind of the smartest of all three of them, wouldn't you say? Isobel has done a good job of making sure that she's not putting herself at too much risk. Both Max and Michael are risk-takers.

What else can you tease about what's in store for Isobel for the rest of the season?

Isobel is about to learn things about her past that are going to blow her mind. She's going to have to re-examine certain truths that she held. This is going to offer her the opportunity to really get in touch with her authentic self, who she is, and what her role is in all of this. She has been training to be this warrior, kind of taking after her mother in this way. When she is learning more about the history of her planet and where she comes from and what her family line is, all of this is going to give Isobel the opportunity to learn more about herself.

Sadly, this is Roswell's final season. How happy are you with where Isobel ends up?

I am so happy with Isobel's journey. The writers have done an incredible job of creating this arc that ends in a really satisfying way. We get to see all of our characters having a certain kind of resolution. I think the fans are going to be satisfied and happy. It's been a beautiful journey. I am emotional about thinking of it ending.

[sukihibafa]

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[sugarpopss]

season four opinions that aren't me screaming about Eddie

Okay right off the bat: I'm sad that the Cali crew didn't get more screentime. Honestly, I feel like some of El's story could have been cut and we could've seen what was happening in Cali. I LOVE this version of Jonathan and I LOVE Argyle and I LOVE Mike getting to be a little bitch again. They just felt very removed from the story, which I get is the point bc they're all the way in Cali just-

Okay my larger is point is that all of the plots feel a little disjointed to me? Maybe when Vol2 comes out I'll eat these words like a silly little court jester, and maybe I'm misrembering anyway, but it seems like in previous seasons the plots have all been more connected? Like everyone was generally following different branches of the same tree. Again, maybe in Vol2 everything will make sense. It just struck me as off because that's something I really love about the show, everyone splitting up like Scooby Doo and reconvening at the end. Also, I find Vecna much less interesting after the Henry Creel explanation, though the thought of him monologuing to a bloody baby El is very funny.

Good things: As we all know, I love Eddie. I love him so much. I'm also pretty pleased that Lucas got a bit more screentime and development!! I think he's very interesting but by far the least developed party member. I love that Steve is back to his 'using oblong objects as weapons', and that him and Eddie basically have shared custody of Dustin. I LOVE that Max is working through a hell of a lot of trauma, one of my favorite things is showing the characters coping with what they went through. I really like that Mike was in a secondary group (I consider the Hawkins group to be the main), he really dominates scenes (which isn't a bad thing, he's a loudmouthed teenager) so it gives characters who are usually with him (like Lucas) more room to shine. I also really like his dynamic with Jonathan? Bc it seems like Jonathan has become a bit more confident, or at least less willing to be talked over, good for him. And I adore that Suzie cam back. Honestly I forgot that she was Morman so when they said Salt Lake City I thought 'Who tf could that be?'. She's great. You're right Suzie, the internet is the future. Also, is Eden free tonight? I really like El's skate attack scene, but not for the 'yeah, get that bitch!' reason. I like how it shows us the consequences of El's upbringing, that she basically has no ability to regulate or interact with her own emotions. I think this is called intrapersonal communication, but don't quote me on that. The past few years have been kind of a roller coaster of events and emotions and fate-of-the-world fights, and now without any of that (esp without her powers at all) she doesn't have any way to release any of the anger or grief or shame that's built up. She also never learned how to communicate her emotions to others that well, so even though she has a lovely family now (Joyce's "I have three kids" was very sweet), and I bet my left kidney Joyce would be willing to sit down and talk out some feelings, El doesn't have the tools to do so. Even though I found a lot of the Nina project scenes boring, El's story has a lot of emotional depth and is very interesting. I feel ike she's at her most interesting as a character, and that MBB is at her best as an actor, when El is in a regular shemuglar, everyday situation, because those types of scenes show us just how ill equipped she is to lead a civillian life, and once in a while they show us that she has a loving support system now who's willing to help her adjust. Last thing, I really like Murray. He's a nutcase, I love him and he and Joyce are a comedic duo. They should go on tour. As for ships:

Byler: never really cared about it, honestly. I'm not going to deny that that painting is pretty fruity but. Eh. Take it or leave it. I don't think Will is going to come out by the end of Vol2 though, I just don't see there being emotional breathing room the way there was for Robin last season.

Whatever the fuck is going on with Steve/Nancy/Jonathan: I'm an og Stoncy girl. That said, I think it'd be cool if Steve got to move on. Let him LIVE! I like Jancy best when they're working through a rough patch, though honestly I think the best thing for everyone would be to break up, heal and live a bit and grow as people, then maybe come back together in like a year or two. That's what I think would help them all (all as in everyone, bc even if Steve isn't in the relationship I think he and Nancy just need some space from each other) be healthier, happier people, so it's obviously not going to happen.

Mileven: Again, I have never cared. Eh. Maybe I just don't care about what Mike does that much.

Lumax: Lovely! They're building trust!!!! I think they have the best shot at being an emotionally healthy, functioning couple.

Ronance: Cute. I defintely think Robin has a little crush. Vickie who?

Steveddie: Eh. I think that if Steve doesn't get the OT3 ending (which almost certainly won't happen) he should just be single and heal. But yknow if it kept Eddie around I'd be down.