The Basics of Skin Care
A 100 skincare tips for beginners:
Cleansing:
1. Cleanse your face twice a day.
2. Use a gentle, sulfate-free cleanser.
3. Avoid hot water, as it can strip natural oils.
4. Use a cleansing brush or washcloth for gentle exfoliation.
5. Remove makeup before bedtime.
6. Double cleanse if you wear heavy makeup.
7. Don't over-cleanse; it can lead to dryness.
Exfoliation:
8. Exfoliate 1-3 times a week, based on your skin type.
9. Choose chemical exfoliants like AHAs or BHAs.
10. Be gentle when physically exfoliating.
11. Avoid over-exfoliation to prevent irritation.
Moisturizing:
12. Use a moisturizer suitable for your skin type.
13. Apply moisturizer while your skin is slightly damp.
14. Don't forget your neck and chest.
15. Consider using a humidifier in dry climates.
Sun Protection:
16. Always wear sunscreen, even on cloudy days.
17. Use a broad-spectrum SPF of at least 30.
18. Reapply sunscreen every 2 hours.
19. Wear protective clothing and sunglasses.
20. Avoid tanning beds and excessive sun exposure.
Anti-Aging:
21. Use products with antioxidants like vitamin C.
22. Apply retinol at night for anti-aging benefits.
23. Consider peptides for collagen support.
24. Stay hydrated to maintain skin elasticity.
25. Get enough sleep for skin repair.
Hydration:
26. Drink plenty of water for overall skin health.
27. Use a hydrating serum or hyaluronic acid.
28. Avoid hot showers that can dry out your skin.
29. Limit alcohol and caffeine intake.
Acne Management:
30. Use salicylic acid for acne-prone skin.
31. Don't pop pimples; it can lead to scarring.
32. Change pillow cases regularly.
33. Maintain a balanced diet to reduce breakouts.
34. Consult a dermatologist for severe acne.
Skincare Routine:
35. Develop a consistent skincare routine.
36. Patch test new products.
37. Customize your routine based on your skin's needs.
38. Consider professional facials occasionally.
Makeup:
39. Clean makeup brushes and sponges regularly.
40. Avoid sharing makeup to prevent infections.
41. Choose non-comedogenic makeup products.
42. Remove makeup before going to bed.
Eye Care:
43. Use an eye cream to address under-eye concerns.
44. Be gentle when applying and removing eye makeup.
45. Get enough sleep to reduce under-eye puffiness.
Lifestyle:
46. Manage stress to prevent skin issues.
47. Get regular exercise for better blood flow.
48. Avoid smoking and secondhand smoke.
49. Limit alcohol consumption.
50. Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables.
Special Treatments:
51. Use a face mask 1-2 times a week.
52. Try sheet masks for extra hydration.
53. Consider facial oils for added moisture.
54. Use a lip balm to prevent chapped lips.
Skin Conditions:
55. Consult a dermatologist for skin conditions.
56. Use products with soothing ingredients for sensitive skin.
57. Eczema-prone skin should avoid harsh products.
58. Rosacea-prone skin should use gentle, non-irritating products.
59. Psoriasis-prone skin may benefit from salicylic acid.
DIY Skincare:
60. Be cautious with DIY treatments; research first.
61. Natural ingredients like honey and aloe can be beneficial.
62. Avoid DIY recipes with harsh or abrasive ingredients.
63. Test DIY masks on a small area first.
Sleep:
64. Get 7-9 hours of sleep for skin regeneration.
65. Sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase to reduce friction.
Hands and Feet:
66. Moisturize hands and feet, especially in winter.
67. Use sunscreen on your hands to prevent age spots.
Body Skin Care:
68. Don't forget to moisturize your body.
69. Exfoliate your body regularly.
70. Take short, lukewarm showers to prevent dry skin.
Shaving:
71. Shave in the direction of hair growth.
72. Use a sharp, clean razor.
73. Apply a moisturizing shaving cream.
Hair Care:
74. Use a gentle shampoo and conditioner.
75. Avoid hot water when washing your hair.
76. Protect your hair from UV damage.
Hormonal Changes:
77. Adjust your skincare routine during hormonal changes.
78. Birth control can affect skin; consult a dermatologist.
79. Manage menopausal skin changes with skincare.
Allergies:
80. Be aware of allergens in skin care products.
81. Perform a patch test for new products.
82. Hypoallergenic products can be a safe choice.
Tattoo Care:
83. Follow aftercare instructions for tattoos.
84. Use a mild, fragrance-free lotion.
85. Avoid direct sunlight on a healing tattoo.
Skin Care Tools:
86. Cleanse skincare tools regularly.
87. Replace loofahs and brushes when they wear out.
Consult a Professional:
88. If you're unsure about a product, ask a dermatologist.
89. Consider professional treatments for specific concerns.
Inflammation:
90. Use products with anti-inflammatory ingredients.
91. Manage skin redness with calming products.
Massage:
92. Gently massage your face for better circulation.
93. Use upward motions to prevent sagging.
Eyes and Lips:
94. Use SPF lip balm to protect your lips.
95. Choose an eye cream with ingredients like caffeine.
Preventive Care:
96. Start a skincare routine early for preventive care.
97. Be patient; skincare results take time.
98. Embrace your natural beauty.
99. Avoid comparing your skin to others'.
100. Remember that skincare is individual; what works for one person may not work for another.
These tips can help you maintain healthy and radiant skin. However, always consult a dermatologist for personalized advice based on your skin's unique needs.
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This is a big, angsty one. Brace up.
Graduation.
---------------
"Alright, close your eyes," Wendy sing sang, squeezing the gift box in her hands. Vince was out in the living room, having just finished getting dressed for the graduation ceremony and just gotten off the phone with his parents.
"Wen? Honey, we're gonna be late-"
"Close your eyes!" She bossed, hiding the box behind her back and peeking at the hallway. He frowned, before closing his eyes and sighing.
"They're closed."
"Alright, don't peek," Wendy said, walking out of the room and speeding so she was right in front of him. Wendy was riding out a high. She was finally over with college, had gotten in the neurology residency, all her friends and her boyfriend were graduating alongside her, her boyfriend had just moved in with her... Life was great.
"Wendy?" Vince sounded more frustrated now, still with his eyes closed. She grinned, grabbing his wrists and planting his hands on a box and he raised his eyebrows, "you got me a gift?"
"I wouldn't call it that," she giggled, "open your eyes."
Vince frowned at the box, curiosity coloring his face. He stumbled back into the living room so he could rest against the couch and opened the black sleek box.
"Oh- AH! NO, YOU DIDN'T!" He exclaimed, upon seeing the black graduation cap he was supposed to wear in tonight's ceremony, now all decorated. Wendy had stolen it while he slept and she had painted the words "V. Monacelli - 23 - Pussy magnet" on the flat top, as if it was a varsity jacket.
"Got it?" She grinned, studying his face. For the first time since doing the little DIY, Wendy questioned herself. What if he hated it? What if she had ruined his cap? His family was coming, surely his parents wouldn't-
A sniffle pulled her back into reality and Wendy raised her eyebrows, astonished. Vince ears and his nose had turned pink, an angry blush exacerbating his cheeks rosacea, and he ducked his head, wiping at his eye-
"Aw, honey," Wendy's voice softened up as she closed the space between them, "I didn't mean to make you cry, sweetheart, I'm so-" Vince grabbed the front of her black graduation gown, shutting her up with a kiss.
She let out a squeak at the sudden movement, before smiling into the kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him back. Despite her heels, she was still on her tip toes, even with him bending down.
"I love it, thank you..." Vince pulled back, his voice all rough, resting his forehead against hers, "I love you."
Wendy's face felt like it was on fire. No matter how many times he said it, it always caught her by surprise. She wasn't used to hearing something like that, it completely threw her for a loop, every time.
"I love you too," she whispered, kissing him again, then pulling back with a sigh, "we have to go, otherwise we'll be late for our own graduation. Your family is already in town?"
"Yes," Vince cleared his throat, still sounding a little choked up, "they got here around two hours ago, they'll meet us in the amphitheater. Your parents?"
"As if I'd know," Wendy rolled her eyes, turning around to grab her purse and then climbing the couch, so she could be taller than Vince, "c'mere, let me put it on you."
Vince slotted himself in front of her, wrapping an arm around her legs to keep her steady as she perched on the couch's arm, and lowered his head. He was wearing his curls all down and they were longer than normal, reaching his chin. Wendy gently tucked the front few curls back, perching the black cap on top and then bending so she could grab her purse. She fished out a couple bobby pins, keeping the cap in place.
"Perfect," she smiled and Vince tilted his head back so he could look her in the eye. He opened a big smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, which were shiny, and Wendy frowned, "Vin?"
"All perfect," he said, squeezing her, "let's go?"
------------------
"If you want us to go back home, just squeeze my hand twice and I'll say I'm not feeling well," Bella said, patting Luke's gown, wiping some imaginary dust, "no one ever questions the girl with brain damage."
Lucas rolled his eyes, grabbing Bell's wrist and pressing a kiss on her palm, "I'm fine, I swear."
"You don't look fine," Bella scoffed, brushing his hair back, "you look like you're gonna throw up."
"Just nerves," Lucas mumbled, barely meeting her eyes and she squinted at him, grabbing his chin. Bella studied his face, all concerned.
"I know your dad is difficult-"
"It's not that, I'm fine-"
"and I know tonight isn't easy for you," Bell continued ignoring his interruption, "but I'm gonna be there at every step, okay? And you're amazing at everything you do Luke, this will be no different."
His green eyes sparkled and Lucas ducked his head, pulling her into a tight hug. Bella hugged him right back, kissing the side of his head and allowing him to pull her off her feet.
"Let's just get through tonight," she whispered, squeezing him as tight as she could.
Bella wasn't blind to the fact Luke was taking graduation to the heart. She wasn't exactly sure what was the issue: seeing his father for the first time in almost two years or the end of a cycle, but either way, she could tell he was upset. Had been upset for days now and it had only gotten worse in the past three days.
It was bad enough he was refusing to eat and Bella was trying to keep an upbeat attitude, telling herself graduation was just one night and they just had to get through that and soon he'd be back to normal. That said, she was getting more and more concerned, worried that the blues he was going through wasn't a passing fit.
"I love your dress, by the way," Luke said quietly, holding the door open for her as Bella followed him out of the door. She opened a big smile, tugging on the black skirt of the dress in order to get on the passenger side of the car.
"Thank you, I tried to pick the sexiest thing I could find, without risking your dad implying I'm an escort."
Luke snorted, shaking his head and circling the car, "he'd never say that, Bell."
"Not to your face," she whispered darkly, before turning on her seat so she could rest her elbow on his seat, fingers combing his hair, "what do you think after the New Years we go on honeymoon? We're still due that mini get away..."
Anything to cheer him up.
Luke shrugged, fingers drumming against the steering wheel, "sure, babe. Do you think you can get some time off?"
"If I let them know with enough advance, yeah," Bella cringed at his lackluster response, "it's going to be great, just the two of us for a little bit."
"I'm fine, Bell, really," Lucas smiled, seeing right through her tactic. He leaned back on the seat, "let's just get tonight over with."
------------------
The graduating part of the graduation had been uneventful. They weren't the same majors - Luke had already gotten his diploma for Political Science and was only doing the ceremony for History -, so their little group was split in the middle.
Bella wanted to watch Wendy and Jonah's graduation in the opposite east wing amphitheater, but there wasn't enough time to run from "Atwood" to the east wing for "Banks, Marshall", then back to the west wing for "Monacelli". It simply wasn't doable, so Leo had promised he'd film everything in the other ceremony and Bella was in charge of filming the one she was currently at.
She was so proud her chest hurt.
Just as Lucas parted ways with her, still looking every bit like he was going to hurl, and Bella made her way to the second row, suddenly someone touched her elbow.
She'd recognize that face anywhere. It was unnerving and annoying how much Kit Howard looked like his son. Like she was looking forty years into her husband's future.
"Isabella," he smiled brightly, "I hear congratulations are in order."
Bella stared at him, confused, "hi, Mr. Howard."
"Call me Kit," he waved it off, "we're family now."
It turned her stomach just to hear that. Bella forced up a smile, which looked more like a grimace.
"Congratulations on the wedding, Bella," he said, walking around the row of people and sitting down, gesturing for her to take the seat right next to his, "and I'm so glad to see you're alright too, you had us all really worried for a moment there. Did you get my flowers?"
Those had been his flowers?
Bella nodded, unable to say anything and he patted her knee, "good, great," he leaned in, as if they were old friends, "did Luke talk with you about Christmas?"
It had been less of a talk and more of a fight, but Bella nodded.
"I can't wait, I've never been to Luke's childhood home," she said mechanically and Kit nodded along, all smiley.
"You'll have a lot of fun, both of you," he said, then turned attention away as the ceremony started.
The lights dimmed slightly on the audience as they watched each person be called on stage. Lucas looked every bit like a trembling mess, but he opened a small, real smile as Bella and Kit shouted and clapped when his name was called up.
Much to Bell's surprise, Vince's reaction to her screaming his name and clapping, alongside his family across the room, was just as lackluster as Luke's.
She frowned, sitting back down and Kit leaned in, "friend of yours?"
He made her skin crawl. Bella nodded, fisting her dress, "that's Vince. Luke's best friend since the first week of college," she said, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice and failing miserably, "we went to Sicily with him and his family."
"Oh, that Vince," Kit realized, "I'm looking forward to meeting him."
Bella refused to answer. It annoyed her that Kit could simultaneously not know anything about his son, and micromanage every little bit of his life.
Finally, after nearly two hours of ceremony, the graduating part was over. Bella jumped up immediately, rushing ahead of Kit to the place where the graduates were getting off the stage to meet their family and friends.
Lucas was down first and she didn't even manage to say "I'm so pro-" before he scooped her off her feet, squeezing her in a strong hug. Bella melted against him, frowning as she realized the way his back muscles were twitching, as if he was trembling.
She didn't say anything even when the air started to run out, instead opting for kissing his cheek, squeezing his neck, "I fucking love you, Lucas," she whispered, "I'm so proud."
He let out a sigh, then planted her down and Kit stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his son. Bella grimaced, turning away from the duo, just in time for Vince to grab her in a hug and twirl her around.
"I did it!" He exclaimed and Bella laughed, squeezing his neck.
"You fucking did it!" she yelled back at him and Vince chuckled, putting her down. Bella was giggling as she stumbled back, her body hitting Sophia, Vince's sister.
"Oh, I'm sorry-"
Sophia didn't pay her any mind, jumping on her brother, alongside Livia. He held both girls, each with one arm and Magda let out a chuckle, her make up slightly smeared as she watched them.
Giuseppe met Bella's gaze with a fond eyeroll, but he looked like he was going to burst with pride.
Once all hugs were done, Luke pulled Vince into a hug himself and Bella's frowned, looking away from Livia's face. She expected a real hug, but Lucas' face scrunched up into something terribly close to tears and Vince kissed the side of his head, whispering something that had her husband's face turning an awful shade of red...
"Oh bambino, stop making Luke cry!" Ma berated her son and Bella let out a weak chuckle, happily passing off the tears as just Luke being emotional, when she knew damn well it was much more than that.
She took his hand in hers and squeezed, "do you wanna leave?" Bell whispered, as the commotion continued and Lucas shook his head, sniffling and forcing out a smile.
"No," his voice was all hoarse, "no, it's fine. Let's meet with the others at the party."
----------------------------------
"And you must be the famous Leo," Kit's voice was like smooth velvet and Leo felt himself melt in his shoes. He had always had a gigantic crush on the singer and now his brain was short circuiting, because in one hand he knew Kit was the asshole father of his best friend, in the other that was his teenage years celebrity crush.
"I... Yes, sir-" he stumble over his words and Kit chuckled warmly, squeezing his hand in his.
"It's so nice to finally meet you, kid," even the way that he said kid made Leo's stomach fill up with butterflies. From his left side Jonah let out a scoff, rolling his eyes.
"Hi Christopher," he said, interrupting and offering his hand. Kit took it, but only shook it for a brief, polite second.
"Congrats on the graduation, Jonah," he said dryly and Jonah offered something that could not be classified as a smile, but rather a snarl.
"Thanks," he dropped Kit's hand, "have Jasper around?"
"Your father, you mean?" Kit scoffed, clearly offended in the other man's behalf. Leo cringed, while Jonah only glared at the other man, unimpressed.
"Yes, that one," he raised his eyebrows, "so?"
"He was over there," Kit pointed over his shoulder, to where the food was collected. Leo peered and then perked up as he saw Jackie.
As much as Jonah's relationship with his mother was just tentative and still strained, Leo liked Jackie. She clearly had realized the err of her ways and was doing all in her power to fix it, which Leo appreciated.
Besides, despite the fact that Jackie was loaded, had been born into money and then married two millionaires twice, she never made Leo feel bad about himself. The woman had a real talent to making people feel welcome around her, it was the same thing that Luke had.
"C'mon, let's say hi," Leo tugged at Jon's hand, avoiding Kit's eyes. He felt like a blushing teenager and he knew his whole face was red. Jonah allowed Leo to push him away and he let out a scoff.
"That man is such a dick," he whispered darkly, before wrapping one arm around Leo's neck and pulling him into a big kiss. Leo smiled, bumping their foreheads.
"What was that for?
"Luck," Jonah pecked his lips again, before turning around and smiling brightly, "Jasper, hi."
In his euphoria over the kiss, Kit and Jackie, Leo had completely forgotten Jonah's father was there too.
Jasper Banks was a character. He looked like a black, hot-squidward, if that made any sense. The same out of proportion chin, jaw and mouth, paired up with artificially high cheekbones that were nothing like Jon's, a nose that had gone through at least four rhinoplasties and on top of all that, he straightened his hair in the weirdest Zac Effron impression... Leo cringed, then quickly tried to make his face neutral.
He tried really hard not to start giggling, pressing his lips together, just as Jasper's big pouty lips stretched into a big smile.
"Dr. Banks," he said, pride dripping from his voice, "my, my kid, c'mere. Give me a hug-" he didn't wait for Jonah to lean in, pulling him into a big hug and squeezing the other man.
He was as tall as Jonah and more ripped than his son, veins straining like cords as he hugged Jon and patted his back, smiling brightly, "I'm so proud of you, Jonah."
Leo's heart dropped to his stomach at the genuine affection coloring those words. Jon had talked so badly about his dad, Leo hadn't been prepared for all the loving.
Clearly neither had Jonah, because once he pulled back from the hug, his green eyes were suddenly a lot more sparkly and he was completely speechless.
After a small pause, he cleared his throat, voice still choked up as he said, "thanks, Jasper..."
Jasper continued to smile, the fondness on his face all but overwhelming.
Thankfully Jackie interrupted the moment by squealing, "my darling!" and launching herself into a hug.
At least for this Leo had been prepared, so he leaned back and out of the way as Jackie switched between french and english, kissing his face all over.
Leo smiled, his heart hurting with how happy he was for Jonah and how much it made his eyes burn, only to feel a hand touching his lightly, in the most dainty and delicate handshake he had ever felt.
"I'm Jasper Banks, nice to meet you. You must be Leo?"
"Oh! Yeah - I... I'm sorry," Leo stumbled over his words, realizing he hadn't introduced himself, "nice to meet you, sir."
Jasper had the softest hands he had ever touched.
"My pleasure," Jasper shook his hand gently, "are you graduating today, Leo?"
"No," Leo shook his head, "no, I graduated last year. Today I'm only here to celebrate Jon and our friends."
"What's did you graduate as?" Jasper grilled him, but for this Leo was at least prepared. He dutifully answered all of Jasper's questions - Law, sir. No, I'm a paralegal at the moment, sir. No, my parents weren't lawyers too, sir. - until Jackie cut in with a huff.
"Leave the poor boy alone, Jasper," she scoffed, then pulled Leo into a hug, "hi, mon cher, how are you?"
Leo was so caught up in the joy of having Jackie interact with him - really, he couldn't wrap his mind around anyone disliking the woman - , that he all but missed his friends joining them, until suddenly Jasper said "Lucas! Congratulations, son!"
He turned around in time to see Lucas smile at Jasper and pull him into a hug, that one smile Leo had seen too many times and absolutely dreaded, that was bright and empty, never reaching his eyes.
It made Luke look quite menacing, if anything.
There were so many congratulations to be made, Leo was feeling dizzy and mildly nauseous by the time he did sit down at the designated table, after being passed around between Wendy, Bella, Luke, Vince, Vince's parents, hell, even Vince's sisters-
He grimaced, sipping on a flute of cold sparkling water, and trying to calm down from all the overstimulation. His ears were buzzing.
Across from Leo, Jonah was chatting happily with Wendy's parents, as if he had known them his entire life and not just met. Leo rolled his eyes, muffling a little burp against his fist and then jumped when Lucas sat down right next to him with a sigh of his own.
"Hey," he said, without the freaky smile and Leo let a little noise acknowledging him. He studied Luke as the other man reached for a champagne flute and drained all of it in basically one gulp.
"Night's going that well?" Leo asked quietly and Lucas raised his eyebrows in dry amusement, before grabbing another glass.
"Did I even say congratulations to you, man?" Leo tried again, sinking against his seat as his heart calmed down. From the corner of his eye he saw Bella in the middle of Vince's parents, with Livia wrapped around her waist and looking starstruck.
"Thank," Lucas tugged on his tie, loosening it up, "this place is so fucking warm, it feels like I'm suffocating."
Leo frowned, but didn't say anything as Lucas removed his tux jacket and rolled up the sleeves, undoing the first button. The brunette glanced over his shoulder, to where his father was chatting with Jasper, both men holding their own champagne flutes and conspiring together.
"Christmas is going to be great," Leo chuckled, following his friend's gaze, "they're like school girls."
"They've known each other for what- Thirty years?" Luke shrugged, "figures..."
"Aren't you guys going to dance?" Vince said, his voice thunderous, as he joined them. He hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, but his cheeks were blazing red. Sophia was holding on to one of his arms, looking very smug in her little teal dress.
"In a little bit," Leo answered, raising his glass of water as if it was some explanation, "just catch my breath."
"Luke?" Soph perked up and Leo bit an amused smile, exchanging a glance with Vince.
"Not right now," Luke answered, that horrible smile back on, "I have to find Bella, I left her for the wolves."
"She's fine, she's talking with ma," Vince rolled his eyes, pulling his sister to the dancing floor, "you guys are missing out."
Leo giggled as he watched Vince mix up with the crowd and then spin Sophia with so much force she stumbled on her heels. He felt a kiss on top of his head and looked up, smiling as Jonah squeezed his shoulder.
"Wanna join them?"
"Yeah, just give me a sec," he intertwined his fingers with Jon's, then turned his head to talk with Luke and... He was gone. Leo twisted his neck, catching just a glimpse as Lucas vanished in the opposite direction, Bella hot in his heels.
He frowned, "do you think Luke's acting weird?" he asked, voice loud enough Jon could hear him, but not so loud that the other parents and friends could too.
Jonah nodded, taking up the now free chair, "yes," he said, but didn't elaborate, causing Leo to pout and kick his chins lightly.
"Well? What is it?"
"I don't know," Jon shrugged, although something in the way he said it made Leo squint in suspicion. Despite their constant bickering and biting each other's head off, Jonah always knew exactly what Luke was thinking.
"Jon?"
"Leave it be, if it's important he'll tell you," Jonah rolled his eyes, then leaned in and grabbed Leo's hands in his, kissing his knuckles, "I'm so fucking happy, Leo."
All worried fled his mind and Leo let out a sigh, smiling, "I'm so happy too, Dr. Banks. I cannot wait to start introducing you as that," he grinned, looping his foot on Jonah's chair's leg and pulling him closer, "okay..." he pecked Jon's lips, "let's go dance."
----------------------------------------
Bella knew something was off before Lucas even grabbed her by the hand in the middle of a conversation and squeezed her fingers twice. She knew something was off by his walk - stiff - , by his smile - fake -, by his eyes - all red -, by his face - pale - , and simply because she knew him entirely.
"I'm sorry Ma, I have to go," she squeezed Luke's hand back, "I'll talk with you in a minute," Bella lied, knowing full well she wouldn't be back, and then waved and allowed Lucas to tug her out of the party.
The big graduation party was being held in a hotel, but they never even made it to the parking lot. Instead, Luke marched on, Bella having to run to keep up with him, until he found a bathroom in the first floor and he stumbled in.
Vaguely she realized it was a female bathroom and there were some squeals, but Bella paid it no mind, as Lucas crumpled against a stall, clawing at his throat and croaked, "I- I can't breathe, I need- I can't..."
And then the tears started.
Big tears and horrible sobs, his lips turning even redder, and Luke stumbled and lost his balance, crumpling down on the ground. Bella shut the door and locked it, moving in the cramped stall in order to cup his face.
"Luke," she whispered, stroking his cheek, "baby, hey... Look at me," she forced his face up and he looked at her with panicked eyes, shaking his head.
"I can't- I'm not- Bella..."
"Shhh," she planted a hand flat on his chest, feeling his rushed heartbeat under her palm, "shhh, can you breathe with me?"
He shook his head, angrily rubbing at his eyes and trying to get rid of the tears, but not quite managing. He rested his elbows on his knees, continuing to cry and Bella tugged on her dress skirt, scooting even closer.
"C'mere, baby," she whispered, slotting herself between the sturdy plastic wall and the closed toilet, opening one arm, "I got you..."
He leaned to the side and buried his face on her neck and Bella's heart broke in a bunch of little pieces as she felt the violent sobs pressed against her. She rubbed his arm, pressing her lips to the top of his head.
"I got you, it's okay," she repeated, her own voice choking up.
Luke let out another sob and then he whispered, sounding like it was taking all his strength to string his words together, "I don't know what I'm doing..."
Bella squeezed him harder, "baby, I don't think anyone who graduates knows that..."
"No," he whimpered, "no, I- I really don't know what I'm doing and I - I feel like I fucked up, Bell. I fucked up so badly and-" he pulled back, wiping at the tears streaming down, only for new ones to join. Still the sobs subdued and he continued to stare at his shoes, not at her, "I should've spent my time figuring something out, but I don't- I wish my mom was here."
"Lucas..." she turned slightly to be able to look at him and he squeezed his eyes shut.
"But I- I also don't. She'd be so disappointed, Bella. I know she would, because I am," he licked at his lips, swallowing down another sob, "and I'm supposed to be happy tonight, but I'm not happy. I'm not- I fucked up and now you're stuck with me and-"
"Luke," Bella grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her, "do you think I married you because of your fucking major? Babe, I love you. Sickness and health, poverty or richness, whatever the fuck. I love you-"
He pushed her hand off his chin, shaking his head, "it's not fair, Bell... It's not fair, I just... I wish I could go back and not fucking waste all my time with the team and-"
"It wasn't a waste," she whispered, but he wasn't listening, the word vomit just kept coming.
"And- focused. So I wouldn't be such a huge disappointment... I don't know what the hell I am going to even do. Tomorrow or the day after, I have no idea... I just know it's not enough and it's not been enough for so long. I try, so hard, but it's not enough, it's never been enough..."
"Who said that to you?" Bella snapped, anger showing its ugly head as she thought of Kit Fucking Howard, all smiles in the hotel ballroom, while his son was crumpled into a sobbing mess, thinking he wasn't enough, "Lucas, you're everything," she squeezed his chin and forced their eyes to meet, "look at me!"
Lucas jumped, startled at the sudden shout and Bella let out a shaky breath, "you think we'd be here tonight if it wasn't for you? All of us? We made a family out of a bunch of strangers, Luke, and who made that?" she glared at him, "you're the reason we're all friends, you're what keeps us all together, babe... And you're the love of my life," her words came out squeezed, past the lump in her throat, "Isn't that enough?"
"But I'm not- I'm not smart or successful or..."
"Luke," she shook her head, leaning in and pressing her forehead to his, "you can't possibly believe that. You can't-"
"Vince's leaving," Lucas interrupted her, his voice so small it was hard to hear even if she could feel his breath against her face, "Vin's leaving, Bell."
"What?" she pulled back, confused, and Lucas nodded, grabbing a wad of toilet paper and blowing his nose, before scrunching it all up in his fist.
His whole face was swollen from crying and he opened a sad, exhausted smile, "he's gonna go back home. He says he hasn't made up his mind, but..." he shrugged, as if to say I-know-him. Lucas swallowed down, "so I spent all of my college experience focused on my friends and my team... And now I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, because I don't know- I don't know what the hell am I going to do with my career and I don't know- I don't want my best friend to leave, Bell..." his face scrunched up as even more tears sprung forward, "and I'm not ready. I'm not ready for any of this..."
"Oh baby," Bella pulled him into a hug and Lucas sunk against her, as fresh sobs started up. She felt her eyes start to sting and her vision blurred with tears, for his pain, but because he had a point. She understood very clear what he meant. He had spent so long nurturing this little family and now it felt like things were falling apart.
"And I'm- I'm a horrible friend, because I'm supposed to be-be happy for him, right? I mean, he's the best- He's the best person I know, Bella... I just- I'm not happy. I'm not," Lucas sobbed against her shoulder and Bella buried her face in his hair, crying too.
"It's okay," she whispered, sniffling, and feeling her heart breaking, "you're not- I'm not happy either," she confessed, squeezing Luke to her.
-----------------------------------
"AGAIN!" Livia squealed, as Vince threw her up in the air, causing her little dress to balloon.
Wendy chuckled, leaning back on her chair and removing her heels, glad that her parents had left the party after mere forty minutes of polite shaking hands and pretending to bob to the music.
She was resting her elbow on the table and her cheek on her hand, watching as Vince clapped and twirled around with his sisters and his mom, making the middle aged woman squeal whenever he dipped her.
Behind him, Jonah had taken his mom to a dance and Leo was sitting down, happily - and probably drunkenly - chatting with Jasper. It was heartwarming that the blonde had gotten along with the man Wendy already knew would end up being his father in law.
"Hey- Hey, c'mere," Vince stumbled to her, grabbing her hands and Wendy giggled, shaking her head.
"I'm barefoot, Vin, I- VIN!" he pulled her up against her will, wrapping an arm around her waist and she let out a yell, pointing her feet.
"Ew! Vince, I'm not wearing my shoes, I-"
"Oh, don't be so silly," he grabbed her waist with both hands and then pulled her off the ground, so she could plant her feet on top of his. Wendy laughed.
"Now I'm like a little kid," she grinned, her cheeks hurting from how much she had smiled all night. She leaned in and rested her forehead to his chest as he slow danced with her, an arm wrapped around her waist and doing wide circles around the quickly emptying ballroom.
Vince's laugh rumbled in his chest as he twirled them around, then stopped, panting, smiling at her. She smiled in return, leaning her head back so she could look him in the eye, "what?"
He pushed a strand of hair away from her sweaty forehead, then traced her face with his index, "just... Memorizing you."
"Oh fuck off," Wendy giggled, "you don't have to memorize me at my worst, all sweaty and pink in the face. You see me every day."
Vince smiled, but didn't look away, "no. I wanna memorize you like this," he traced up her smile, "I love you."
Wendy's smile trembled, melted into something sweeter, softer... Deeper, "I love you too."
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