#rose leaving the doctor still caused me to cry

[gracesimp]

Say It

tenth doctor x fem!reader

Warnings: smut. praise, edging, dom!doctor.

MINORS DNI

First time ever writing smut. oh god.

Summary: After feeling insecure about her body, (previous chubby!reader, but can be read by non-chubby reader I think), the Doctor shows Y/n just how much he loves it.

"Say it." He commands, voice thick. Y/n's mouth stays open as she looks up to the ceiling, her thick thighs wrapped around the Doctor as he thrusts into her pussy. "Now."

"I-I can't." She manages to cry out, eyes closing tightly as the knot in her belly tightens. The Doctor growls, digging his nails into her hips, the mixture of the spark of pain and pure pleasure making her clench around him.

"Be a good girl and say it." He grunts as his hips thrust harder and faster. Y/n moans loudly as he brushes against her clit with every push. The noise is probably enough to wake Rose from down the corridor, but if anything, that just motivates the Doctor more.

"Please, I-" She's on the verge of coming, and he knows, so he slows down.

"Say it!" He yells, his hips slowing to an almost stop, causing a whine of desperation and protest to leave Y/n's lips. "If you don't say it, I won't let you cum."

"Oh, my-" Y/n whimpers, her face heating as she shyly avoids his eyes. He removes one hand from her hip and forcefully turns her head to meet his.

"I'll stop." He threatens.

In an act of desperation as the feeling begins to dissipate with his halted movements, Y/n quickly mutters the words he had been demanding of her since the beginning. Since he kissed her neck, then her belly, then her thighs. When he mumbled while sucking her clit, to now as he demands her to say it as he pushes into her so deep. "I'm perfect."

To taunt her further, he leans down, still refusing to move his hips as his cock was buried in her soaking sex. "Couldn't hear you."

"I'm perfect!" She screams. Begs. He smirks, finally satisfied as he begins to move again, causing a gasp to leave both of their lips.

"That's it," He praises softly, giving her a quick kiss before resuming to his vigorous thrusting. "such a good girl. Well done, my angel. And you know what happens to good girls, don't you?" He teases, their skin slapping and headboard banging filling the room. "They get rewarded."

With that, he uses his fingers to rub her clit as he fucks her. She moans loudly, tits bouncing with every hard plunge of his cock deep into her. "Cum for me, angel." He whispers, the feeling of her clenching around him urging him to his own release. "Fuck, angel, cum for me, you can do it."

[loulouwrites]

THE NIGHT WATCH . ALFIE SOLOMONS

summary: alfie's eldest son is sick - he won't leave his bedside. warnings: illness, swearing, thoughts surrounding the death of a child, melancholy, unedited, angst, violence, discussions regarding the death of a child word count: 1.5k a/n: a lil drabble form the home series! i'm honoured by the love people have for this family. i know i'm not the most active on here but i just wanna say if anybody wants to talk to me (about anything) don't hesitate to hit me up! (i am still putting my taglist together but I completely forgot about it when I wrote this - forgive me pls)

It had been going around for a while now.

Some illness spreading around London that had children dropping left, right and centre.

Some children barely got a sore throat, and those that did were usually better after a few days, but he had heard the stories of the unlucky few, the children that had been bed bound for weeks before silently passing in their sleep.

He hadn't thought much of it at first - he found stories about other people's children mind alnumbingly boring - even the saddest accounts he had heard had barely registered in his mind.

When Benjamin had started coughing one morning, he had rolled his eyes, insisting he wouldn't get out of school that easily. His wife - who was gentler and kinder than he could ever be - had laid her hands on her son's cheeks, instructing him to go back to bed with a kiss on his forehead.

It had caused quite a tiff between the couple.

"You're too fuckin' soft," Alfie had told her, pointing an accusatory finger in her face.

"And you're too fucking hard on him," she had spat back, smacking his hand away.

She had been right, of course.

When Alfie returned home that night, the house was eerily quiet. No children greeted him at the door, even Bubbe the dog had barely looked up from her bed by the fireplace.

He had found them in the master bedroom, his wife had pulled up a chair next to the bed, and was dabbing a damp cloth on his son's forehead.

He would never forget the way Benjamin looked lying on the bed, his face pale and his hair sticking to his forehead, the wheezing breaths he took being the only sound in the room.

"I sent the children to my mum's," his wife had said, sitting with her back to him, her eyes completely focused on her little boy lying in the bed. "The doctor said it's highly contagious so they shouldn't be around him - or us."

He could tell she had been crying, her voice quiet and shaky.

Alfie didn't say anything in response, because what could he say? He stepped further in the room, moving to sit at the foot of the bed, his eyes trained on Benjamin's limp body.

"He's fucking boiling, Alfie," she choked out a sob, "he's so hot but he won't stop fucking shivering, I don't know what to do."

Alfie watched as his wife's body shook with sobs, putting her head in her hands as he sat on the bed, silent, confused, and so very scared.

"He'll be alright," his voice held no conviction, almost as shaky as her's was. "He's a tough lad-"

"No, he isn't," she cried, lifting her head from her hands to look at her husband. "He isn't. He's sweet and gentle, he isn't tough."

"Love," Alfie shook his head, leaning forward slightly, but she cut him off.

"It doesn't matter anyways, it doesn't matter how tough he is - or isn't - kids have died, Alfie, they've died from this."

She stood from her seat, pacing the room as he looked on helplessly. He had seen her scared before, he had seen her sad and everything in between, but nothing compared to how she looked now. Her hair was a mess, her makeup had smudged, and there was already dark circles beginning to form underneath her damp eyes.

"Listen," Alfie rose from the bed, placing his hands on her shoulders to keep her in place. "He's going to be fine."

"You don't know that," she whispered, hanging her head.

"And you don't know he won't be," he bowed his head to meet her eyes, "but we're going to do everything we can do to help him, yeah?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

That had been hours ago.

It was almost three in the morning as Alfie sat on the chair beside the bed, a dimp lamp casting a soft glow on his son's pale face. His wife had fallen asleep on the bed next to Benjamin, and the room was silent apart from the occasional raspy breath from his son.

This was all he could do.

All he could do to help his son was to sit by his bedside and watch him breathe, watch for any sign that Benjamin was struggling, and to press the damp cloth to his face whenever a shiver broke out of his body.

He had never felt more useless in his life.

If it were any other situation, they would know what to do. If Benjamin had cut his knee when he was playing, his mother would be able to patch him up and make him feel better, if he had gotten into trouble at school, Alfie could pay the teacher's a visit to make sure it never happened again.

But this was completely in the hands of God.

Alfie wasn't a particularly religious man - not in the common sense of the word, at least. He was proud of his identity, he enjoyed the community and sense of belonging it gave him, but he fell short when it came to the believing part of his religion.

He had always thought God was something people used as a comfort in their darkest times, or as an excuse for things not working out the way they had wanted it to, it was never particularly real to him. Yet, as he sat at his son's bedside, with nothing to offer him but a damp cloth, he found himself bowing his head, and silently praying to God that Benjamin would be okay.

He hoped this would be the first time God listened to him.

The doctor had arrived early the next morning, prodding and poking the sick child and humming to himself.

Alfie stood by the doorway with his wife, both of them shuffling slightly on the feet as they waited for the doctor to finish his assessment, their patience wearing thinner with every passing second.

The doctor sighed when he turned to face the parents, a frown on his old and battered face, his beard moving as he scrunched his mouth.

"I see no improvements," he had spoke, and Alfie had to grasp his wife by her waist when he body began to collapse, another sob racking her body.

"What does that mean?" Alfie asked, his hands still secure around his crying wife.

"It means that you should prepare for the worst."

"No, no, no, no," she whispered, her legs giving way for the second time.

"If he recovers it will be a miracle, I've seen stronger boys succumb to this illness."

Maybe it was the doctor's tone of indifference when he spoke, maybe it was the feeling of his wife's body shaking uncontrollably in his arms, maybe he was just looking for somebody to take his frustration out on, whatever possessed Alfie in that moment to let go of his wife and grab the doctor by the collar, slamming his body into the wall, was as fierce and raw as the fear gripping his heart.

"Now you listen here," Alfie growled, his face inches away from the doctor's. "My son will not die. You know how I know that?" the doctor shook his head, his face reddening in fear. "I know that because you are going to fix him. If you don't, it'll be your body they wheel out of here."

The doctor's eyes widened, and Alfie was sure he was about to start crying. "Mr Solomons, there's nothing I can do, I would if I could-"

"You will," Alfie roared, pulling the doctor back slightly only to slam him back into the wall harder. "You will find a way."

Just as Alfie pulled his arm back, his hand curled into a fist, his wife's voice called out to him.

"This won't help Benjamin, Alfie. Just stop it."

Alfie released the doctor, who gasped for breath, his face pale. He turned to his wife, his face softening. "He can't die."

She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "He won't die," she muttered into his chest, "you won't let him."

It was nearing nine o'clock at night when Benjamin started to stir in the bed. His mother had yet again, fallen asleep at his side, and Alfie was sat in the uncomfortable chair by the bed.

"Dad?" He whispered, his voice weak.

"I'm here, mate," Alfie said, his voice catching in his throat. "I'm here."

"I don't feel well."

"You're not well, mate," Alfie leaned forward, placing his palm on Benjamin's forehead, which was already beginning to cool.

"I told you I wasn't just trying to get out of school," Benjamin choked out, and Alfie let out a hearty laugh, startling his wife awake.

"Oh, thank God," she breathed, sitting up and cupping Benjamin's face in her hands. "Thank God."

"You might catch it, mum," Benjamin groaned when his mother bent down to pepper kisses on his face.

"Still sharp as ever, I see," Alfie muttered, the tension in his body seemingly disappearing.

"We need to ring the doctor," his wife said, and Alfie shot her an unimpressed look in response. "A different doctor," she conceded. "Though him being awake means the worst is over."

"What did I tell ya?" Alfie grinned. "Tough as nails, this one."

[oc-sickfic-central]

Bad Timing Pt 2

2:36 am

Allie felt herself sleeping soundly but in the distant it sounded like someone was calling her name, then it got louder until she woke up and realized it was Koh. He wasn’t in bed but on the floor in the bathroom in agonizing pain. Kicking the blankets off and heading to him, Koh was on the floor, hysterically crying, choking on sobs. 

“Talk to me.” Not knowing if that would be possible given how upset he was.

“It hurts- so- bad.” 

“Where?” Allie moved some of Koh’s hair out of his face. 

“My stomach and chest. Feel sick but can’t bring anything up. Please, just make it stop.” 

“I need to take you to the hospital.” Allie told him. 

“They’re not gonna do anything! I’ve been countless times. I know what I need Allie.” 

“No! Koh, I’m not getting you or letting you use heroin. It’s not happening.” Allie’s voice rose.

“It’s the only thing that fucking works! I’m in pain and I only need a little bit.” Allie couldn’t believe this. She knew he was hurting and desperate, but it broke her none the less. 

“Give the hospital a chance. I will have them run every and any test they need. I will not let you relapse.” She assured him, a sob breaking out from Koh. 

“Fine.” Allie got up, getting on socks and her shoes and putting her wallet and keys in her bag. She slipped on socks and slippers for Koh. Getting him to his feet was not an easy task. He wanted to keep an arm, cradling his stomach and the other used to push up, feeling dizzy and the cramping was overwhelming. Like sharp stabbing pains over and over. Finally, Allie managed to get Koh up and out the door, down the hallway and to the elevator. 

The walk to the car was utter hell. They had to stop so Koh could catch his breath or double over when a particularly sharp cramp would leave him motionless. They made it to the car eventually and as Allie drove out of the garage and onto the road, there wasn’t a single car around. Making the drive to the hospital quick. 

Pulling into the ER bay, she got out and opened the door to the passenger side as a nurse came to help. She grabbed a wheelchair and could place Koh in it. Allie got back in the car to park it as they took Koh inside to check him in. 

When she walked back into the hospital they had him already back and getting changed into a gown. His movement was slow and face gritting in pain. Between Allie and a nurse they were able to get him dressed and in bed. They started an IV but opted for no pain meds, Koh knew it was for the best.

The doctor came in and asked general questions and then began examining Koh. The doctor felt around his belly pressing around the organ causing Koh to squirm and shift. He could feel stomach contents rising up. Swallowing it back down, and squeezing his eyes shut. Just above his naval was the center of all the pain and when the doctor pressed his hands in that spot, Koh heaved and a bit of stomach bile spilled out onto the bed. 

“Fuck.” Koh’s voice was shaky. “I-it hurts.” Koh closed his eyes as the sharp pains were back and fierce. 

“I’m sorry. We’ll let you get a new blanket.” The doctor patted his leg and turned to the nurse to order a series of tests and scans. The nurse got him a new blanket and took the old one way.

"Are you okay?" Allie asked immediately knowing the answer.

"Far from okay. This all gonna be a waste, they ran the same tests that they’re about to run now, and I can promise you everything is gonna come back normal or unknown. This will be a waste. I’m gonna leave here not knowing anything and still be dealing with whatever this is.” Koh rubbed the side of his head, feeling a headache begin to form. "I'm also embarrassed." Koh mumbled out.

“Why? Because I’m here?” He nodded. 

“Yes, you have to deal with me, with this! That hospital dinner was so fuckin important and I ruined it.” Allie took Koh’s hand. 

“You did not ruin anything. This is not something you can control. I’m not going to be upset or mad if you’re sick, baby. I want to help you. I know you can’t help it.” He didn't know what to say, instead he just settled into the bed wanting to rest. The dull ache that still remained making it hard for Koh to fully sleep.

A little while later a tech came in to conduct an ultrasound the gel was cold on his stomach.

"Cool tattoos." The tech complemented his koi fish that he had gotten after college.

The room was quiet as Koh watched the monitor, unsure of what he was really even looking at.

"Do you see anything?" Allie asked.

“I’m not sure. Usually, when see this type of wall thickening, it can be a type of inflammation. I want to get you up for a CT scan. Might give us a clearer imagine. I’ll grab a nurse and be back in a moment to take you up.”

Handing Koh some tissues to wipe the gel off. Koh just nodded as The tech left the room. A nurse came in a moment later when a wheelchair. Koh swung his legs over the bed and settled into the chair. The movement made him feel unsteady and dizzy. 

“How long will the scan take?” Allie asked.

“Should be about 45 minutes feel free to get something to eat or walk around.” The nurse told her and with that they were off down the hallway of the ER to the elevator up to imagining. 

The CT room had low lighting, which Koh was grateful for. The bright lights of the hallway were making his head hurt more. The nurse helped him out of the chair and onto the bed of the machine. 

“Have you had a CT done before?” Koh nodded. 

“A few times.” 

“Okay, so you know the drill. Lie still and when we’re down, we’ll bring you out.”

Koh tried to sleep but the room was freezing, the blanket they had given him was small and thin barely covered him. He tried thinking of something to keep him distracted 45 minutes felt so long when he didn't have anything to keep himself busy.

After the scan they brought Koh back to the room, Allie was on her phone and set it down as they came back in.

"I'm going to have the doctor review everything and we'll be in shortly to discuss with you our findings." The nurse informed them. Once Koh was back in the bed Allie moved closer to hold his hand. They were both exhausted and ready to go home.

About an hour later the doctor came in to review the tests and scans they took.

“Let me guess, everything is normal and you have no idea what’s wrong.” Koh’s voice was raspy, and it hurt to talk. 

“You have inflammation throughout your digestive tract, your stomach and small intestine. Your case is the worst I’ve seen in a long time. Has no doctor told you that?” 

“They said I had some inflammation, gave me antibiotics and told me it would clear up, but it never did.” Koh shrugged

The doctor took a breath. “It never will. Koh, you have a chronic condition known as Crohn’s disease. It’s a condition when your body’s immune system attacks and destroys healthy body tissue. Sometimes hereditary, genetic or environmental factors contribute to it.” Koh was speechless. After years of pain and suffering and no answers or explanations, he finally knew what was wrong with him. 

It was like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"What's next?" Allie asked.

"I'd like for him to meet with a a gastro specialist. They'll want to run a few more tests to confirm and while there isn't a cure there are treatments to make the symptoms more manageable. I'll send home some doctors in the area that I recommend. Until you get in with the specialist I'll prescribed some anti-nausea. I’ll write up those and get you started on discharge, unless you have any questions.”

Allie looked to Koh.

“I’m ready to just go home.” The doctor left and Allie gave Koh a small smile.

“Told you.” Allie said. Koh turning his head.

“Told me what?”

“Give the hospital a chance that I would see to you were taken care of.” Koh smiled.

“Yeah, thank you.” She leaned over, kissing his forehead.

[countrymusiclover]

40 - Newest Dutton Baby

Country Rancher

This is the final chapter ❤️ thank you for reading

Tags @whateverthecostner @rosie-posie08 @kayceduttonn @kcloveswrestling @the-morning-star-falls @kaymudd @hcwthewestwaswcn

I gasped seeing water coming from between her legs since she was wearing just a dress and some socks after her shorts were tighter. “Oh my god. I think the babies coming.”

Kayce and I frantically turned our head towards one another sharing the same terrified look that we weren’t expecting this yet. Her due date wasn’t supposed to be until the rest of the family got back in town. “Call the helicopter!”

Kayce carried his first born daughter in his arms while we had someone else flying the helicopter for us. Carter had grabbed the baby bag. With the rest of our kids piling into the truck. “I’ll follow behind ya’ll. You stay with our baby girl.” Kayce told me when I climbed into the helicopter shutting the door behind me.

“Mommy, I’m scared.” Bree winced reaching for my hand when we rose off the ground flying as fast as we possibly could.

Grasping her hand in mine I sniffled through tears, remembering what it was like when I had her around my early 20’s. I still felt like I was a kid back then but nowhere near as young as she is. “I’m here, B. I’m always here. It’s you and me against the world.”

She sucked in a breath closing her eyes. And she remained that way for the rest of the flight. Finally we landed on the hospital building. Some medics rushed outside, rolling her into an elevator. I never let go of her hand even when her doctor came into the room. “Ms. Dutton, you are almost ready to push. But we will check up on you in a few hours.”

“Thanks doc.” I told her simply before she left the room leaving us alone.

Bree croaked through tears when she had some more contractions in her lower back. “Mommy, what if I can’t do this?”

“Don’t worry, baby girl.” Brushing hair out of her face I blinked through tears. “You are the strongest person I know. Heck when you were five years old you fell off my horse for the first time. But you wanted to get back on the second it happened.”

The door opened where I saw Carter and the others coming in. Kayce shut the door gently behind him. “How’s she doing? I called my dad and told him what’s going on. Unfortunately he can’t be home until the end of this month. So it will be a few weeks before he sees the new grandkid.”

“The doctor said she’s almost ready to deliver. But it would a few hours before she’s fully given the green light.” I shrugged my shoulders at my husband.

Carter went to her other bedside taking her other hand that I wasn’t holding. “Bree, I’m here. Uh…whatever you need from me.”

“Thanks Carter.” My daughter mumbles squeezing his hand.

Tate was helping Dallas and Elsa playing some games on the iPad we had got recently. Kayce walks over to me removing his hat where I got to my feet since he clearly needed to say something privately. “Little B, we’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Bree just nodded where we stepped out into the hallway shuttling the door behind us as we went. Wrapping my arms around myself I sighed heavily. “So what’s going on, Kayc?”

“I just needed a minute. Cause when I look at her right now I…it makes me think back to when I left you and how scared you probably were.” He ran a hand down his face.

Holding my hands I shake my head not being able to handle him crying right now. “Kayce, please don’t cry right now. Okay we’ve gone past this. Was it hard, yes. But you are here now. And I know you’re scared for our girl. But you aren’t alone. We’re in this together.”

“I just….feel like such an ass. For abandoning you for years because I chose Monica first over you. When it’s always been you who holds my heart and no one else will ever be that for me.” He sniffs through tears until I tug him against my chest. He buried his face into my neck where I ran my fingers through his hair.

“Kayce, I’ve forgiven you. Now we have to be there for Bree.” Breaking the hug we went back into the hospital room and just waited for about two more hours before the doctor came back in and said we had the green light.

Bree had asked that me and Kayce be in the room while she delivered even though we knew she loved Carter. So he stayed outside with Tate and the twins. “Alright Ms. Dutton. I need you to start pushing for me.” The doctor instructed her while she clasped our hands in hers.

She bared her teeth down while she began pushing as hard as she could until she threw her head back needing to rest. “I can’t do this, daddy…” She began panicking with her chest heaving up and down.

“Hey, hey, Little B. You are as strong as your mama. If she could get through this, so can you.” Kayce kisses her forehead holding back tears hating to see his daughter in pain and he could really do anything about this.

She gulped, gripping our hands tighter than she already had. She screamed while she was pushing with everything she had left in her. After a few more long pushes she threw her head back in relief hearing a baby’s cry filling the room. “Ohhh…” Leaning forward I kissed her forehead, smiling through tears.

The doctor handed the crying infant over to a nurse. She wrapped the baby in a soft blanket before he delivered the news. “Congratulations Ms. Dutton, you have a beautiful baby boy.”

“Have you all picked out a name yet?” The nurse asked Carter and her.

Carter chuckled nervously. “Uh no we haven’t.”

The nurse nodded gently, handing their baby boy over to them. “He’s perfect.” Bree began crying while she held her baby closer to her chest crying through happy tears.

Covering my mouth with my freehand Kayce moved around the bed. He wrapped his arms around me crying through tears. “Looks like we’re grandparents now huh Kayce. I…I can’t believe it. We’ve got a grandson.”

“Our little girl is just as strong as you are, darling.” He kisses my forehead watching the doctor and nurses leave the hospital room giving us time alone together.

Carter shifts his gaze down to the infant in his girl's arms. “He’s so tiny…”

“Can we meet the new baby now?” Dallas burst into the room.

Tate came in with Elsa dragging him behind her. “Are you going to name it after grandpa or daddy?”

“Kiddos enough with the questions. Alright your sister has been through a lot tonight. Let’s let her get some rest now.” Kayce looks down at the rest of our kids who were being impatient.

Tate dropped his smile. “Awe come on, dad.”

“Tate, don’t push it.” I warned him with a glare.

Bree cleared her throat causing all of us to turn our attention to the teenage couple. “Mommy, I think I might actually have a name for this little guy. Because I have been reading some letters from 1923. And I found a name I rather liked.”

“Honey , you don’t have to rush into this. It took me a while before I found the perfect name for you.” I reassured her by squeezing Kayce’s hand in mine.

Bree shook her head glancing over at Carter. “It’s okay, mom. The name I want is Spencer. Spencer Kayce Dutton.”

“Are you two going to get married at some point?” Kayce asked his daughter, blinking through tears while a grin was plastered on his face at hearing his name being the boy's middle name.

Carter rubbed the back of his neck avoiding his gaze before Bree sent him a grin. “Uh no sir. But I ain’t going anywhere, Mr. Dutton.” I laid my head on Kayce’s shoulder where he tugged me closer to his embrace, happy that we were all okay.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[imliketheiceifreeze]

Come Come Kitty- Part one

Recom Quaritch x AFAB Reader

warnings: flirting, swearing, injury, eventual smut, MINORS DNI

In the lab as usual, your eyes glazed over in boredom as you measured out countless samples and prepared for the next days experiments. If you had known you’d still be stuck in a lab 24/7 you may have reconsidered your deployment to pandora.

Sucking in a deep breath as you held the test tube tightly in your hand, you imagined your paradise-running through the pandoran forest, feeling the mossy floor beneath your feet and the rush of wind against your face. Maybe you had your own Ikran if you didn’t die trying to catch it you chuckle to yourself.

Yeah that pipe dream, the only reason you left your old world behind, got squashed pretty fast. This place is as damn depressing as earth with the stupid military men stomping about in their ridiculous boots and the grey and camouflage colour scheme of the whole goddamn base was enough to drive anyone crazy.

"Y/N," a sharp voice cut through your dreaming and you turned your head sharply in surprise. Dr Augustine just stared back at you for what felt like an eternity before nodding her head toward your hand

"Fuck!" You exclaimed, realising your tight grip had shattered the test tube, ramming glass into your hand. So fucking stupid, how had you not noticed your own blood running down your wrist, staining your lab coat. Springing up from your chair you sped over to a sink to contain the blood, assessing the damage.

"are you alright?" Dr Augustine asked, unusually concerned from behind you as you feebly attempted to pull pieces of glass from the cuts in your hand. She grabbed your wrist to stop you.

"Y/N, you need to see the medic," she just said uncharacteristically softly, placing one hand on your shoulder as you said nothing just closed your eyes so frustrated at yourself for always causing this kind of mess.

"sorry," You mumbled as you ignored Grace’s advice and continued to pry at the glass embedded in you.

"stop," She breathed.

You felt it coming, your face growing hot and your bottom lip trembled as you tried to keep it contained, tears welling up in your eyes until you couldn’t see.

"I’m sorry," You murmured again as you felt your obvious sadness slip down your face in front of the woman you looked up to and wanted to impress. You wished you were crying for the pain of being stabbed.

"It’s okay kid, lets get you to the medic."

You knew you must’ve been an awful state for Grace to not have bothered lecturing you about the wasted samples or the shattered glass, only gripping your shoulder as she led you out of the lab towards the med bay. You let your arm drop to your side, small dots of red leaving a trail of evidence behind your every step. "I’ve got someone for you," she called cheerfully as we rounded the corner.

"oh what is it now grace, another lab explosion, or did you poison someone with toxic chemicals this time?" The nurse chattered cheerfully

"just this one, a bit clumsy with the glass wear it seems."

"oh," The nurse only spoke, leaving her mouth in an o shape long after the words left her lips as her eyes finally laid on you. Her nametag read ‘rose’. A pretty name, it suited her with her flaming orange locks and soft red cheeks against alabaster skin.

She hurried over to you and guided you to an empty bed. "Just stay there for a minute whilst I get the doctor," she called, scurrying away and calling out some words about blood loss and shock.

"do you want me to stay with you?"

you almost laughed but didn’t want to be rude. "I’m okay Dr Augustine, it doesn’t hurt," you replied with a weak smile.

"Okay, it's your call kid," she departed swiftly, obviously anxious to get back to her true passion. Navi forestry and the lab. I wish I could find peace in something like that, to actually enjoy it.

"Just lie back now the doctors going to give you some gas and air," a doctor spoke and I suddenly seemed to be crowded by a team of people.

"no!’ You exclaimed harshly."

"No?"

"No I don’t want it, I’m fine without."

"Are you sure? It’s going to hurt..."

"yes I’m sure don’t give me that," you exclaimed as you struggled against their hands pushing you to the bed, moving your head from side to side to avoid the mask coming down over your eyes

"patients heart rate increasing."

"I think she’s going into shock."

"no I’m not don’t put that on me."

"patient needs to be sedated."

You struggled against their firm grip as you felt a needle stab into your arm and the world begin to blur. "No please," you cried out in terror as I felt the world slip away.

"It’s okay, just relax," Rose gripped your hand as you tried to make out their faces as they blurred and contorted. You could feel the panic set in, you wanted to run but the lights went out before you could even try.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opening your eyes, you were shocked at the bright lights, quickly closing them again to ease the burn. you were wheeled over to another bed in a quiet room that only one other person seemed to occupy. You vaguely felt yourself being lifted into the other bed and being wrapped in blankets as you allowed yourself drift away to sleep again.

When you awoke for the second time you were alert and able to fully take in your surroundings: a room filled with beds with thin paper curtains as the only small privacy. Overflowing with boredom you decided to get on your feet and explore, Not the easiest task when dosed up on god knows what drugs but just as you were about to grab the door handle you heard a condescending voice

"Now where in the hell do you think you’re going?"

You whipped around and stared at the man, recognizing him to be colonel Quaritch. Leader of the RDA and fearless warrior. You would be lying if you said you weren’t intimidated by him. "Out," you replied curtly, challenging him to stop you.

"So it was you causing all that trouble before, can’t listen to instructions very well can you," he tutted, taking in your dishevelled form in only your jeans and bra with a well bandaged wrist.

"it’s not exactly in the scientist job description, sorry you can’t boss me around like your own private sir," you stood defensively as if he would strike you from his comfortable spot on the bed, only then did you notice the bandage around his oversized torso. His eyes creased as he chuckled lightly at your comment, as though your presence was providing him with pure amusement.

"Come on kitty, what you gonna do? Bite me?’ He cooed mockingly.

"I’ll claw your god damn eyes out," You hissed lowly, never breaking eye contact.

"I see why they had to sedate you for a few stitches now," He laughed again. He was really starting to piss you off when all of a sudden you felt the room spin and felt yourself begin to fell forward, grabbing onto the end of the bed you’d previously been laying on for purchase.

"Whoa easy there," He jumped up to your side, cradling an arm around your waist to steady you.

"Leave me alone, you’re injured."

"And you’re a liability," He replied attempting to help you to your bed whilst you tried feebly to push him away. "come on darling you’re not exactly heavy," he said as he swooped an arm under your legs and began lifting you to your bed.

All you could do was place your palms against his bare chest to keep your balance as your face burned in embarrassment. You tried to avoid looking into his amber eyes but when you eventually stole a glance up, you could see that smug smile plastered over his face.

‘Here you go sweetheart, wasn’t so hard now was it?’ You felt too embarrassed to quip back, only focused on the warm skin that scorched your fingertips, and the rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat with every breath he took as he eventually laid you back down onto the grimy hospital bed.

You only now realised just how close your faces were and quickly turned your head from him, jerking your body back instinctively, yet forgetting that your arms had looped themselves around his neck, effectively pulling him on top of you in the process. You could feel the harsh puffs of breath he released into the crook of your neck as he laughed, caging your with his arms as he forced you to look at him.

"And here was me thinking you didn’t like me, when all you really wanted was a good fu-"

"ahem," A cough interrupted your predicament, one from a very judgemental looking Dr Augustine. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the precarious situation, both you and the head of security shirtless in bed with your arms still trapping him close to your body.

Slowly you withdrew them like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar as the tension built in the room before Grace composed herself. "Well Colonel it seems you’ve already become well acquainted with Y/N, I’m sure it will come in useful on the new mission."

"Huh? New mission?" You scrambled away from Quaritch to the end of the bed, practically wagging your tail at the thought of finally leaving this godforsaken base.

"Yes, I had thought I would tell you both separately but I’m sending you down to pandora to collect important specimens as it seems you’ve been getting restless up here." You leapt up of the bed, embracing Grace in a hug causing her to stiffen.

"Thank you so much I won’t mess this up."

"I’m sure you won’t or I’ll have you shipped back to earth,’ she scolded in her usual tone, causing you to nod harshly, barely containing your excitement.

"Well look at that kitty, I guess you’ll have to put a hold on clawing my eyes out," the colonel whispered by your ear so that Grace couldn’t hear him. You only glared, unable to retaliate under her watchful gaze.

"Well I’ll leave you two to get dressed," Grace coughed, once again drawing light on the strange situation, making you roll your eyes, exclaiming,

"nothing like that was going on Dr Augustine," With a groan, hardly being able tell if she believed me or not.

"Hmm," She responded as she began to walk away.

"Oh and Y/N, I want you back in the lab tomorrow, head to your quarters and recover for the remainder of the day."

"yes Ma’am," she nodded satisfied before continuing her departure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the chopper was so loud in your ears as you walked towards the helipad, it threw debris around us in a whirlwind that had you fighting with all your strength to take even a step forward. Your military escort pushed your head down, reminding you not to accidentally decapitate yourself on the propellers, as you pulled yourself into the body of the aircraft.

"There’s my favourite little science puke," His eyes bore into yours with that predatory look as he spoke, arms crossed against his, unfortunately, clothed chest causing his arms to bulge out, glistening slightly in the sun’s rays. For the first time you noticed the eagle tattoo settled on his forearm…

"If you’re done checking me out, we can get on with this science plant extraction bullshit."

Your breath caught in your throat as you realised he was indeed correct about your gaze lingering on his body much longer than necessary. "In your dreams," you scoffed half-heartedly as you took a seat next to one of the other soldiers.

"you alright? I’m Mansk" The soldier turned to you, introducing himself with his hand stuck out. Reaching out you shook it firmly.

"Y/N," you replied with a shy smile causing him to chuckle a little. Quaritch moved his arm in a circle, some kind of military signal, and you lifted off the ground.

"What exactly are we looking for then Princess?" Quaritch questioned lazily as he dropped himself into the unoccupied seat on your side, nodding to Mansk on your left.

You made a noise of disgust at the nickname, ignoring the fluttering feeling in your chest, this man is going to send you into cardiac arrest you're certain. "Its not just the plants, I need to bring back rock, earth, water samples, anything I can get really, this site has never been explored by humans before." You explained in excitement at the prospect.

Instead of making some cheap joke, Quaritch listened intently, eyes trained on yours. You took the time to examine them finally, deep honey coloured pools that stared at you with some kind of blazing intensity you couldn’t place.

"Touch down in T-Minus 5 Minutes," Quaritch shouted abruptly, turning his attention away from you finally. "Be ready boys, this is an easy trip, in and out, I wanna be back for dinner."

"Yes sir," his team replied in unison.

He stood up, leaning on one hip with his hands on his belt before directing all of his soldiers out of the aircraft. You felt bewildered and out of place, unsure of what exactly you should do.

"Come on Darlin’ u wanna be left behind?" He shouted over the sound of the chopper’s propellers, causing you to spring up to follow his team closely, jumping to the ground and hoping not to fall.

Quaritch was the last to leave before the aircraft left you alone in the middle of pandora making you realise suddenly how small and alone you were in this place. Nevertheless, you took in the magnificent view, massive trees and flowers surrounded you, the brightest greens and deepest blues you’d ever seen, it left you completely breathless.

‘Well then brainiac, do what you gotta do,’ the Colonel gestured with his arms towards the forest and expanse of open plane that surrounded everyone.

Not bothering to reply you began to unpack your supplies and examine the area. You became lost in thought as you took leaves, soil, grasses, drops of water-all things you hoped Dr Augustine would appreciate- and when you eventually looked around for the others, they were lounging around in the grass clearly bored out of their minds. You couldn’t really blame them though, you were the only one they were waiting for. Suddenly you felt a tug on your backpack, pulling you off balance.

"Hey! Stop wondering off I’ve already told you you’re a liability once."

You turned your head to him, looking sourly as he gazed down at you equally unimpressed. However, before you had time to formulate a response you were ripped from his grip, the force hurling you backwards to land on your side, when you looked up, to your horror you saw an enormous panther-esque animal, you thought you had heard Grace call it a thanator once…

it had Mansk in its paws whilst the other soldiers attempted to shoot at the animal. This only served to help slightly as more of the panther creatures leapt from the bushes in an ambush. In the chaos all of the soldiers scattered and ran, only then did you realise you were running too, clambering up a large tree to escape their foaming mouths and razor sharp teeth.

to be continued...

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[nostradamus0]

little heartbeat, let me tell you about the bush called honeysuckle

read on ao3

Long before their children are even dreamed of, Rose wonders what kind of father her husband would be. What kind of father he was.

I was a father, once, he says, and the echo and ache of his words, heavy with an emotion she can’t name, linger in her head like the seed of a climbing vine. But it falls to the side as they chase each other across galaxies and through constellations; he grabs her hand and they run.

Then suddenly they’re hurtling headfirst into the sand on the coast of Norway, crashing into the slow path. (—shared mortgages and proper jobs; waiting on a street corner for a taxi at 2 a.m.) 

They stand on that beach and the wind is quieter than it was last time. She can hear the thunder of her own heart in her head as he tells her he’s only got one, and the beat of it under the hand she presses to his chest seems to echo up her arm through her body.

They’ve got one life; I could spend it with you.

The climbing vine begins to grow.

-

He discovers he is the kind of father ready to pull stars down to Earth should his daughter want to hold them. (The kind of husband who would burn a sun and forge himself another body to be with her forever.)

Their daughter comes quietly into the world and it terrifies him—don’t newborns cry? He may be half-human but he’s still half-Time Lord, and there’s never been a way to know if a child of theirs would be okay, or even conceivable. 

Mia feels like something of a miracle.

And she’s perfectly fine. A nurse rests her silently in his arms and she doesn’t cry, but he does. With the barest touch of a fingertip, he traces the lines of her face: the swells of her cheeks, down the bridge of her nose, across her brow. He brushes his fingers through the wispy hair on her head, pale blonde to contrast the mousy brown eyes that will darken over the course of her first few months.

It’s not until his wife’s thumb sweeps across his cheek and comes away wet that he realizes he’s crying. He falls into her where they sit tucked on the hospital bed, her curled close to his side. She drops her temple to his shoulder. After leaning into the firm kiss he presses to her forehead, Rose reaches out to rest her palm—a touch so soft it’s almost hovering—over their baby girl’s chest, feeling the pulse of her heart under her hand.

“Hello, Mia,” she says, and he can hear his own awe echoed in her voice. “We’re so happy to meet you.” 

The warmth in his chest swells until it overcomes him; a love he never thought he’d be allowed to have settles in next to his one heart.

“Thank you,” he says, emotion breaking in his voice as he melts into the feeling of family curled so close to him: his wife, boneless against his side; their daughter, beautiful and brand new in his arms. In the waiting room outside, he knows Jackie and Pete and Tony are impatient to meet Mia, but they can wait a moment longer.

Rose doesn’t ask what he’s thanking her for—she already knows. She always knows.

“Thank you,” she echoes, the cadence of her voice so soft he barely hears it. “I never thought we could have this.”

“Neither did I. I wanted it, though. This life—the slow path. With you.”

“Me too.” 

-

Her husband is the kind of father who will, when she’s older, embarrass Mia terribly. 

The nicknames are the main offense, really. Otherwise he’s as normal as a half-human half-Time Lord can be. (Which, to say, isn’t very normal.) 

When she’s born, they both take leave from work to be with her, and for the first two weeks, Jackie is a whirlwind making sure they have everything they need—and everything they don’t need as well. So for two weeks, there’s been little cause to leave the house any further than the mailbox at the end of the driveway.

But then they’re out of milk and neither of them are quite willing to call Rose’s mother. So the Doctor bundles into a raincoat to brave the downpour.

Rose is half-asleep on the couch as he gets ready to leave, still carrying Mia around with him and chattering on in his usual fashion. She barely registers him approaching until he’s draping Mia gently over her chest. After he kisses her head he kisses Mia’s, murmuring to her: “Bye, bye, butterfly.”

The corners of Rose’s lips twitch and her eyes flutter open. Amusement thrums quiet in her chest, warm and fuzzy.

“You’re a dork,” she says, eyes meeting his for just a moment before they flicker shut, too tired to stay open for long. But in that brief glance, he was smiling down at her, shining with love, and she feels so special. Always, he makes her feel special. (One life and he’s chosen to spend it with her.)

“And what does that say about you?” He says, his own amusement coloring his tone. “Marrying a dork?” 

“Tha’ I made the right choice.” 

He goes quiet. She wonders if he’s left already, but then a soft, fluttery kiss lands between her eyebrows and he says: “I love you,” oh-so-gentle against her skin. A happy hum rises from deep in her chest and she drifts back into half-consciousness, arms wrapped around their daughter, as he walks away, feet quiet on the hardwood.

-

His wife is the kind of mother to go to war for her child, the Doctor discovers. This does not surprise him.

He quickly decides that Rose’s protective streak is terrifying, but that also she looks really pretty when she’s defending their family. (He remembers that stupid boy who hurt Jackie and the fire in Rose’s eyes when she tracked him down.

“You upset my mum.”

He almost felt bad for the kid.)

It starts when they pick Mia up from school and she’s crying. 

Well, her lip is wobbling and she’s standing bravely, shakily, with the other kids, waiting to be picked up. She’s holding herself as tall as her three-feet-four-inches will allow, but her composure breaks when she sees them pull up and she flies down the front steps of the school. As he steps out of the car, she barrels into him, falling into his arms and breaking into tears.

Something inside his chest cracks and shatters. She curls against his chest so small that she nearly folds up and disappears when he wraps his arms around her.

“Mia,” he says, voice rough with worry. He presses a kiss on the top of her head. “Why’re you crying, little lion?”

But she only cries harder, her body shaking almost violently with the force of her tears. Rose, who had been a step behind him getting out of the car, is there in an instant, crouching beside them and brushing Mia’s hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek even though it’s wet.

“Oh, my lovely girl,” she breathes, dropping her forehead against their daughter’s temple. Mia reaches for her, small fingers grasping at her mother’s shirt to hold on as her sobs calm to hiccuping whimpers. 

Someone clears their throat. When the Doctor looks up, the school’s headmaster is standing above them, hands clasped and shoulders held too far back to look natural. He wears the unsettled expression of someone about to give uncomfortable news. Briefly, the Doctor wonders if he’s been standing there long, waiting for them to finish comforting their daughter, and irritation spikes behind his sternum.

Rose, clearly not wanting to upset Mia, pulls back and stands before fixing the man with a withering glare.

“What.” Her tone is sharp and low, and the Doctor pulls Mia closer, adjusting his arm so he can run his fingers through the hairs at her temple and keep her face hidden from view.

The headmaster clears his throat again. “There was an . . . incident this morning, involving your daughter and another student. If you could join me in my office—”

“Absolutely not,” Rose says, words short and clipped. Quietly, the Doctor stands with Mia on his hip, still tucked against his side, and rounds the car to climb with her into the backseat. It’s probably best she doesn’t hear her mother eviscerate her headmaster.

In the end, Rose only spends about one minute speaking with him. When he leaves, his posture is significantly more hunched and the Doctor briefly thinks that if he had a tail, it would be tucked between his legs. 

He pushes the door back open and slips out of the car as Rose comes around, knowing she’ll need to sit with Mia as they drive home. He reaches for her as soon as he can; she leans into the reassuring kiss he presses to her cheek, then kisses him back, soft and fragile, and he feels the tension drain from her body under his fingertips when he touches her shoulder.

“You okay?” 

“I will be,” she says. “I’ll tell you ‘bout it later. Just need to sit with her for a tick.”

He nods, leaves one last kiss to her temple before opening the driver’s side door and sliding in. The engine starts with a low hum as Rose settles into the backseat and he hears her murmur, “hey, sweetheart. How’re you feelin’?”

For a brief moment before taking the car out of park, the Doctor looks at them through the rearview mirror. The weight of such a hard day is heavy in Mia’s body language: the way she curls into her mother, straining against the seatbelt to get closer; the droop of her shoulders and her face buried in Rose’s jacket.

He watches for just a moment, awed by the gentle connection between his wife and their daughter, and his whole being loves and loves and loves. 

-

He’s the kind of father to share everything he loves with his child. And for as long as she’s known him, Rose has known her husband to love grocery shopping.

It was more of a rushed, no-nonsense affair when he was all big-ears and leather jacket, but this face loves to spend ages bouncing from aisle to aisle, picking up and examining things they’ve never had any need for, and likely never will. He drags a finger down the line of cereal boxes and knocks on freezer doors before opening them like a total dork. He passes this love to Mia.

He goes grocery shopping on Sunday afternoons. And from the moment he’s able, he starts bringing Mia along, strapping her to his chest until she’s big enough to sit in the front seat of the cart, rambling on to her along the way. He worries that being strapped to him, facing away from everything, she’d miss out on the action, so he narrates to her everything that happens. It always seems to entrance Mia, and whenever Rose tags along, she has to bite her tongue to hold back her laughter.

By the time she’s four years old, it’s become a highlight of her week. Sunday mornings tick over into the afternoon and she tracks him down, stares up at him with those big brown eyes hopeful and ready, and says: “Food shop now?”

Usually, she’s already got her jacket on. (She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of shoes yet, but she’s getting there!)

Now, she’s giggling like a madman, fruitlessly trying to carry all their reusable shopping bags in her tiny arms. The Doctor gathers up the bags as she drops them, leaving a trail behind her as she shuffles around trying to pick them up and just losing more along the way.

“Why don’t I help you with those, Mia?” He says, a hint of begging in his tone. Rose, shoulder propped against the doorway to the living room, watches her husband’s struggle with poorly concealed amusement and swallows her laughter with a sip of tea. 

Eventually, begrudgingly, Mia hands over all but one bag, keeping the last clutched against her chest. Rose drops her temple against the wood frame and smiles as their daughter, practically vibrating where she stands, asks: “Go now, daddy?”

“Almost,” he says. “You haven’t given your mummy a goodbye kiss, jellyfish.”

Her mouth drops into a small ‘o’ shape like she’s horrified to have forgotten, and the shopping bag hits the floor as she darts over to Rose, reaching up with grabby hands and wide eyes. Holding back a laugh, Rose crouches to her level and Mia plants a wet kiss on her cheek and attacks her with a sudden, jolting hug that nearly topples her over and spills her tea.

“Bye, mummy,” she chirps, and Rose swears she can feel Mia’s smile against her shoulder. “We’ll get good food—promise. I love you!”

“I love you, too, sweet girl,” Rose says, kissing her forehead before she disappears, running back to pick up her grocery bag and stare up at her father expectantly. 

“We’re leaving now?” She asks, but it’s really more of a demand. He laughs.

“Yep! Out the door, dinosaur.” 

God help me, Rose thinks to herself. The nicknames are getting worse.

But warmth spreads through her bones as she watches her daughter skipping down the driveway, her arm swinging back and forth, hand tucked safely in his. 

(The nicknames are growing on her.)

-

Long before their children are even dreamed of, Rose knew her husband would be the best father she could hope for them to have. Never would she have wanted anyone else for the job. (She thinks she may have known this from the moment that climbing vine was planted, weaving up through the ridges of her ribs, flowering somewhere between her lungs.)

They sit together in the hospital with Mia, who is fragile and wonderful; a tiny burst of magic, held gently between them, and Rose is so proud it pools in her throat. She’s boneless and exhausted but so full of love that it’s spilling out of her, seeping through her fingertips as she traces the soft features of Mia’s face. 

The Doctor holds her—so small it seems like she nearly fits in his two hands—as they see her eyes for the first time, blinking unsteadily and so, so beautiful. They cry and Mia wiggles her arms in the air, completely silent.

Rose watches fatherhood transform her husband. Every day, she watches him settle more and more into the role, taking to it like being Mia’s father is what he’s meant to do. Like he’s simply meant to be right here with them and this life they’ve created together. (Because their forevers match now.)

Sure, sometimes the nicknames make her question things, but no one’s perfect. 

“That is not a structurally sound block tower, sunflower,” he says one afternoon, lying on his stomach on the living room carpet. Four-year-old Mia is carefully building a terribly unstable tower and he’s claimed himself Assistant Architect, handing her blocks as she points to them. It’s a bit ridiculous, but Rose watches from the armchair and her heart melts anyway.

(Underneath her large, fluffy blanket, she touches her hand to her stomach. She knows it’s too early, but she imagines she can feel a brand-new heart beating against her palm. It’s too early to even feel much of a bump, though she runs a finger across her belly anyway, tracing the small swell from one side to the other.

They’ll call him Jack if he’s a boy, but will not pick Jackie if she’s a girl; her mother’s head is big enough.)

“Uh oh.” 

The block tower tips over sideways barely a second after Mia’s quiet, distraught whisper. Rose’s heart aches for the expression on her daughter’s face, it really does, but the tower was destined to fall from the first row placed, uneven and barely holding onto the one below it. Still, the grief in her eyes is wide and all-consuming. 

“We can fix it up, buttercup,” the Doctor says, optimism chirping in his voice. 

Instantly, Mia transforms: wobbling lip to a bright smile, wilting shoulders lifting and straightening up. She sweeps all the blocks back into their original pile in front of him, and he glances up to grin widely at Rose, who tilts her head and smiles back, letting the warmth in his eyes seep through her skin, into her bones. 

I love you, he mouths, and with her whole being, she loves and loves and loves.

They start the block tower from scratch. This time, it doesn’t fall. 

(Until, of course, Mia knocks it over herself, giggling like a cartoon villain.)

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

I can’t give you the stars, but I can give you my heart

Warnings: angst

She was waiting inside of the Tardis with The Doctor for Rose to return. She felt her heart thumping in her ears as she waits for her friend to return. Her face was red like a rose, and The Doctor knew why. He was determined to get the lovebirds together, even though he was certain that Rose was into him

It broke his hearts that she seemed to like the alien more than the human that’s been around her longer than he has. But she knew The Doctor had no intention to break her heart like that. She’s lost so much already, so it’s the least he could do. Rose returns with a gift

This breaks her heart, since she assumed it was for him. Rose gives the gift to him, which makes them sad. Rose hasn’t gifted them something in a while, not even her presence. The Doctor looks at her with a sad face. Rose looks at her, and wonders what her problem was. Rose was getting the wrong idea thinking she was jealous of her dynamic between her and the Doctor

“Rose, I cannot accept this gift. It’s very kind of you to have thought about giving me this, but I can’t accept this. I’m so sorry” The Doctor says, which makes Rose frown. “But I made it for you” Rose continues as tears started to leave her eyes. Rose looks at her with anger. She felt their heartbeat beating harder than normal since she knew damn well that Rose was about to shout at her

“Rose, please calm down.” The Doctor places a comforting hand onto her shoulder to try to calm her down. “How could I? You like her? Don’t you? And you like him!” Rose began to shout, which makes her flinch. “Rose-“ “don’t Rose me!” Rose shouts as she angrily turns to look at The Doctor. The Doctor was taken aback as he removes his hand from her shoulder now

She was silent as she trembled. She could feel her heartbeat wanting to rip itself out of her chest now. She knew that the Doctor and Rose could hear her fast pacing heartbeat, but she hadn’t cared. She finds herself sobbing now, which makes Rose soften her expression now. Had Rose finally understood that the attraction was towards her and not him?

Rose felt bad now for shouting at her, and was willing to listen to her side of things. “Shit. Sorry. I let my emotions get the best of me, huh? Silly me. Please tell me what’s on your mind” Rose spoke in a calm comforting tone now as she approached her now. Rose places the gift down nearby, and then hugs her. She was still silent, but she still sobbed her heart out against her chest

Rose rubs her back as she sobs, wondering what was going through her mind currently. The Doctor knew, but he knew he didn’t have the right to say what she was feeling without permission. “Take your time, cause we have all the time in the world” Rose spoke softly as she continues to rub her back

The Doctor decided to go to his room to give the two space. He knew she’d need it. She stopped crying once she had no more tears to cry. “Rose- I-“ she started as she looks up at her. Rose looks at her, feeling so many emotions at the moment. Sure she had a crush on The Doctor, but she also had a crush on her. Rose waits patiently for her next sentence, feeling the pang of guilt in her chest

“Rose Tyler… I-“ she continues to struggle to find the right words to say. She wanted to cry more, but no tears left her eyes. She wanted to scream into the darkness, but she couldn’t even let out a scream at the moment. She felt so damn vulnerable that it was impossible to form a coherent sentence or thought. “You got this” Rose encourages, which makes her mind a bit clearer

“Rose Tyler, I love you” she rushed out, hoping she hadn’t caught the words that had been spoken. Rose was shocked as more mixed emotions emerged. “But I know you love him, and I just need to accept that you like him, and not me. I need to accept the fact that I can not give you the stars, but only my single heart that beats for you”

Rose starts to tear up now as a weak smile paints her face. Rose’s mind was going a million miles per minute at the confession she spoke. She’s scared- no, she’s petrified that this was the end of her wonderful friendship with Rose Tyler. Rose kisses her without thought or hesitation. She was taken aback, feeling all over the place at the moment

When she didn’t return the kiss, Rose pulls apart. Rose had felt rejected twice now today. She thought about what to say next without hurting her too much, but she knew she would need to hear this. “I cannot be your punching bag because an alien rejected you. I want you to be able to give me the same amount of love and energy I would give to you”

Rose understood why she’d feel this way. She didn’t even understand her own feelings and emotions at the moment about everything. “I don’t even know if I can still be your friend if this is how you’ll act” she adds, which makes Rose look down at the ground of the Tardis. Rose didn’t know what to say. Rose felt glued to this spot, even though she wanted to flee to her room

“I understand” was all Rose could say, which broke her heart. But she understood, but yet she felt too emotional to continue this roller coaster of emotions. More silence filled the Tardis, which was unusual, but the Tardis hums to make some comforting sound towards her. She decided to leave to go to her room, but Rose grabs her wrist to stop her from leaving

Rose wanted her to stay. She wanted to understand every emotion she felt at the moment. Rose wanted to also say all of what she was thinking, but knew she wouldn’t be able to put it into words. She looks deeply into Rose’s eyes; she was trying her best to read her mind

“Don’t leave-please” Rose spoke quietly and softly. Rose’s hand was still on her wrist, not wanting to let go. Her expression was soft, since now she didn’t want to leave to go to her room. “It’s not like that, I promise. I really care about you” Rose reassured honestly. She knew Rose was telling the truth, and now she finds her lips on hers now. Rose returns the kiss with love

She wraps her arms around Rose’s neck as her hands now go onto her waist. She had pulled away from the kiss with a smile now on her face. “I love you too”

[jake-kiszkas-smirk]

Here Comes the Sun (part 26)

Danny Wagner X Fem OC X Josh Kiszka

18+ only, minors DNI

Warnings: talk of death and dying.

Danny's POV

"So whats the plan after your appointment?" I asked, carrying the bowl of cereal over to Rose who was wrapped in sheets on the pallet of pillows we both slept on.

"I have to pack for my trip with Josh, we leave tomorrow." She said as she took a bite

"You haven't packed yet?" I asked in shock, she was usually a plan ahead type girl

"Daniel, you've been keeping me a little distracted" She smirked over and I nodded with a grin

"Are you complaining, because you weren't complaining last night...or this morning" I said returning her smirk,

"Never," She leaned over and kissed my cheek,

"Are you nervous about your appointment today?" I asked as I tried to read the expression on her face

"I was, but I talked to Thorne, he's had stitches like 3 times and he said it wasn't that bad to get them taken out" she said as she stirred her cereal

"You still want me to come with you?" I asked, she looked at me like I was insane

"Of course I do, why... do you not want to?"

"No of course, I do, I was just making sure" I laughed, she nodded as she looked back to her cereal,

"Danny," She paused as if looking for words, "When I get really bad, like really, really sick, I hope you know I don't expect you to stick around and take care of me. I've been looking into it and it's going to get really bad, and I just...I don't want you to have to deal with that." He voice had started to falter,

"Rose, I want to be there for you, doing all I can, I love you and I want to be there with you for every part of it, whether its laughing, crying, or just being in your presence. I want all the time with you I can get. " I pulled her close to me, cradling her face against my chest

"I just don't want you to remember me like that" she sniffled. I felt tears welling in my eyes, thinking of her like that, close to the end.

"What if I promise to only remember the good things. Our first date, the night I met you at the party, the time you ran me over with your longboard, or these last 2 days." I said, holding back my tears as best I could.

"Only the good things?" She asked, holding me tighter

"Only the good things" I repeated, kissing the top of her head. She nodded,

"Also, I wanted to say thank you." she said pulling back a little,

"For what?" I asked,

"Well, for last night obviously, but also for treating me more normal. I know it's hard for you cause you worry about me, but I really appreciate the effort." She said taking my hand,

"I've really been trying, I promise to keep treating you as normal as possible." I said, and she smiled softly,

"I love you" She said pulling me into a kiss,

"I love you." I replied

*******

We sat in the office waiting for the doctor to come in. She picked at her nails so I took her hands in mine and gave her a reassuring smile.

"You're gonna do great, you've handled everything they've thrown at you so far, this is going to be a breeze." I kissed her forehead.

"You always know what to say Danny Wagner, how did I get to lucky." She said, causing me to blush, and just then the doctor walked in.

"Hello Rose, if you lay back on the exam table this should only take a second and we can get you out of here." He said with a smile as he put his gloves on. She hesitantly did as he asked and looked at the instruments he was picking up.

"So, the other night when I was reading you that book, it said something about a double agent," She looked at me, her eyes lighting up at the fact that I was actually paying attention, "Have you figured out who it is yet?" I asked. She winced slightly as the doctor started removing the stitches from her scalp. "Cause personally from what I read I think it's that guy...his name started with an 'L'?"

"Lyrian?" she giggled at me forgetting the name, but then her eyes got wide, "Oh my gosh, that would make sense!" She said excitedly, "Wait a minute..did you skip and read the end after I fell asleep?" She glared at me playfully,

"I swear I didn't" I smiled back at her, still holding her hands. "I am interested to figure out who it is though" I admitted,

"We can start reading it together if you want," She said sweetly, her eyes glimmering. I knew she loved reading, and the fact that she wanted to share that with me made my heart melt.

"Yeah, I'd like that" I said. The doctor rolled his chair away,

"All done, your boyfriend did a excellent job of keeping you calm, he's a keeper." He smiled. I stood in shock for a moment over him calling me her boyfriend.

"I know he is" She grinned up at me. The doctor gave her some instructions for monitoring the rest of the healing process and we were out the door.

"Rose?" I asked as we walked towards the car,

"Yes babe?" She asked, looking up at me,

"Am I your boyfriend?" I asked shyly. "The doctor just said it and it made me think,"

"You're my Danny," She replied confidently, "You're so much more than my boyfriend at this point, you're like..I don't even have the words for all that you are to me." she paused,  I felt my heart swell, "But if you'd like me to call you my boyfriend I will"

"I just like how it sounds, I guess because at one point thats all I wanted." I shrugged "Just hearing you say it makes me happy"

"Well.." she grinned as she turned in front of me, "Will my boyfriend take me to get a slushie on the way home?" I couldn't hide the toothy grin on my face,

"Your boyfriend would love to take you to the slushie place on the way home" I knew she was partially teasing me, I opened the car door for her and smacked her ass as she got in. She rolled her eyes and I stuck my tongue out at her as I walked around the front of the car. We stopped by the slushie place and she got blue raspberry and I got cherry. We could never choose which flavor we wanted so we would always get one of each and switch drinks halfway through. We got back to the apartment and slipped our shoes off, we put on comfy clothes and I helped her start packing.  Making sure she had her medications and emergency contacts updated was my priority.  Once all that was in place I started helping her fold clothes.

"Are you excited for the trip?" I asked as I folded a pair of jeans

"We don't have to talk about this" She said as she situated stuff in her suitcase

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, she stopped and turned to me,

"I just know you don't really like hearing about stuff with me and Josh" She said with a shrug, "So we don't have to talk about it." 

"If I'm honest, I'm starting to get used to it.  I know I make you happy, and I know you love me.  I'm confident in that." I paused, trying not to sound too cocky, "But I know Josh also makes you happy, and he also loves you.  You deserve all the happiness in the world, and we both give that to you, so I'm fine with it.   Maybe just leave out some of the details if you talk about him" I added as I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"Why are you so perfect?" She asked as she walked over to me, holding my face as I sat on the edge of the bed,

"Because I love you. And I want you to have everything you want in this world." I said, placing my hands on her hips.  She shook her head in disbelief and pulled me into a deep kiss.  I'd never get tired of her kisses.  "I am going to miss you though" 

"I'm going to miss you too, It's only 4 days but I promise to call you every day," She said, leaning her forehead against mine.   I nodded as she pulled away and kissed my nose before turning back to her suitcase. She grabbed her headache pills and took one with a glass of water on her dresser.

"You ok?" I asked as plainly as possible,

"Yeah, just a small headache." She replied as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Do you want to take a shower? Those always seem to help?" I offered,

"I think I might" She said quietly,

"I can cook you some dinner while you're in there" I said motioning to the kitchen,

"Will you come with me? I'm scared I'm going to get dizzy" She said as she walked towards the bathroom. I was proud of her for admitting she might need help.

"Of course I will angel." I said, "I'd never turn down a shower with you" I winked, trying to make light of the situation. She gave me a soft smile as she turned into the bathroom. We both stripped down and I turned on the shower. Her lids where already getting heavy as we stepped into the stream of water. She stood facing me, closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on my sternum as we wrapped our arms around each other. The stream of water was hitting the back of her neck and she took a deep breath. We stood there for a really long time before I felt her knees buckle slightly and she abruptly lifted her head,

"I fell asleep" she said with a dazed smile, her pain medication obviously working.

"Why don't we get you in bed then, I caught you this time but I don't want to drop you." I suggested, she nodded slowly. I turned off the water and helped her dry herself off, wrapping a towel around myself, clothes were optional at this point, no one else was here. I picked her up, not risking her walking the measly 15 feet to her bed. I placed her in the bed,

"Here, lets braid your hair really quick so it doesn't tangle" I said as she moved to lay on her stomach,

"You know how to braid?" She asked in a surprised but groggy tone. I couldn't help but laugh, as I covered her with the comforter, pulling her hair from under it and combing my fingers through it

"Yes, not well, but a little." I said as I started, separating the strands and crossing them. Her eyes closed as I finished braiding it, securing it with a hairtie I had on my finger. I got up, opting to go look for something to cook for dinner for when she'd wake up.

"Where are you going?" I turned around a little shocked, I thought she had already fallen asleep,

"I was gonna-" I started

"Stay with me," she said, scooting over and pulling back the blanket, welcoming me into the bed with her. She closed her eyes again, knowing I would oblige. "I want my boyfriend to cuddle with me." I rolled my eyes with a smile as I dropped the towel from my waist and crawled in next to her, pulling her against me,

"You're never going to stop calling me that now are you," I whispered as I kissed her jaw,

"Nope." She said, pulling me closer and sighing deeply before falling asleep.

*****

The next morning we got up really early so I could drop her off at Josh's place. I made sure she had a good breakfast and carried her bags out to the car. I held her thigh all the way to Josh's house, wanting contact as long as I could have it before she left. I knew Josh would take good care of her, but I was still a little nervous she'd be so far away from me if anything did happen.

"You're going to call me every day right?" I asked sheepishly, she put her hand on top of mine,

"Yes Babe," She said in a calming tone, she must have heard the nervousness in my voice, "I'll be fine."

I nodded, trying to compose myself as I suddenly felt very emotional. Her eyes lingered on me as her thumb moved over my hand,

"What if I text you every few hours, will that help you feel better?" She suggested. I swallowed hard as I nodded, trying to keep my emotions at bay.

"You got it, anything for my Danny." she winked. We got closer to Josh's house and she suddenly leaned forward in her seat, digging through her bag, "I almost forgot, read this while I'm gone so you can catch up and we can read the rest when I get back" she handed me the book I had bought her. I parked in Josh's driveway and flipped through the pages and saw all her little scribbles and notes in the margins "If you still want to read it together" she added shyly

"Absolutely I do, I can't wait to read it with you." I said leaning over the console. We both got out of the car and I helped her put her suitcase beside Josh's car. "I hope you have the best time, I love you." I said pulling her into my arms and holding her tightly.

"I love you" She said, tilting her head up so we could kiss. I kissed her for a long time before finally willing myself to pull away. I gave her one more kiss on the forehead before turning and making my way to my car. My eyes were stinging and for a moment I couldn't understand why I was getting so emotional, but I couldn't let her see it. When I got in my car and started driving it hit me, tears falling down my face. If it was this hard to tell her goodbye for only 4 days, how was I supposed to tell her goodbye forever.

[dreamfaller63]

Careful, spoilers🚨

Wow. Just watched Power of the Doctor and I must say while I had my issues with it as I always do with Chibnall's writing I really really enjoyed it. And the ending just broke me. Like sobbed-into-a-tissue broke me.

I genuinely didn't think I wanted 13 to regenerate into David. Right up when the golden light consumed her I hoped we'd see Ncuti (even though I knew in the back of my head that with the timing of the filming and everything it'd be very unlikely).

And then there he was. My doctor. Well, my first doctor. The one who introduced me to this crazy, mad, beautiful universe. The one who found me in a dark time of my life and took my hand and showed me the stars. And I just lost it.

Not that I hadn't already been crying before. Don't know when I started. I think during the scene with the doc and Yaz in the Tardis. It was absolutely gorgeous and Mandip Gill's best performance yet. At the same time a little disappointing. I wasn't ever one of the ones who begged for a Doctor/Yaz kiss because I don't think physical intimacy is always necessary to show depth of emotion but in that scene ... it would have felt right. The way the doctor looked at Yaz, tried to cheer her up by talking about getting ice cream (I'm tearing up again) - it would have fitted there. It wouldn't have felt forced. It would've been perfect. I was literally yelling at the screen "FOR GOD'S SAKE, KISS THE GIRL!!!" But no. Ah well. Still very sweet.

I didn't like Yaz leaving at the end, just bc in the context of the show it didn't make much sense. Rose was there during a regeneration. So was Clara. It wasn't a problem. I think they should've thought of a better in-universe explanation for why Yaz would leave. Or maybe have her say something about how she's in love with this woman in front of her and she can't replace her with anyone. Can't travel with the next doctor bc it's this incarnation specifically that owns her heart. I think we were meant to infer that but imo they should've spelled it out some more.

Omg the support group at the end🤧🤧🤧

There was Jo, one of my favorite classic companions🥰😭

And Ian🤧🤧🤧 Without Barbara😭😭😭

And the doctors we got to see. I literally screamed so loud when One appeared. And then kept screaming. (Omg, Paul McGann on my TV screen!😭😭)

Cause I didn't expect ANY of them. I expected nothing like what we got, it was a proper surprise. Thought they'd all turn up at the 60th in some way. Hopefully they still will.

Anyway, this entry is long enough. I think I have to let all of this sink in a bit before looking more at social media. Inevitably some twitter/youtube trolls will ruin it for me with their endless complaining. Not that I haven't complained about this era. But sometimes other people's opinion can influence our own way too much.

As for now, goodbye Doctor 13. You were amazing. Goodbye Jodie. Thank you for everything.💙💙

[concealeddarkness13]

Fire and Steel (Speedrunning Therapy) Part 8!

No content warning this time! I have the next part, just some nice fluff and comfort after all that angst! About 7,100 words! Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @for-fuchs-sake, and my collaborator @drabbleitout!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Everything passed in a blur as I tried to keep myself from panicking. Garnet held onto my hand the whole time, and the doctors were nice, at least. I had to squeeze my eyes shut as they stabbed me with a needle to give me fluids and medication, but I didn’t cough up smoke or yell at them! But eventually, I fell asleep, still holding onto Garnet’s hand as he was settled in a cot next to mine.

A bark woke me up, and I jumped and tried to sit up quickly, but I still felt so weak. But then I saw who it was. Niner. I smiled and hugged her tightly as she crawled up on the bed, wagging her nub of a tail. She was so soft.

I looked up after hugging her to see Beau standing close to the entrance, but…he was crying. And his right hand didn’t have any plating, just showing the metal skeleton below. “Are you okay? Is everything all right?” Had…had there been bad news?

“Everything’s fine.” He smiled, but I still felt nauseous. He looked so sad. “I’m great. Just about back to normal.” He rolled up the right sleeve of his jacket, showing that none of his arm had plating. He laughed, even though he was still crying. “We match.” He stepped closer and held out his arms for a hug. I immediately scooted closer and hugged him gently, shaking a little from how weak I still felt. “And you? How are you?”

I started to cry. His hugs were the best—well, except for Ives, but I didn’t want to think about him right now. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. But I’m fine now that I’m with you guys.” But…his clothes. The Auditors had destroyed them. I pulled back, not looking him in the eyes. “And your clothes I had on. The Auditors cut them up. So, you really won’t be getting them back.”

“Oh, Chess, I don’t give a shit about those clothes. Not when I have you back.” He sat on the edge of the bed, but Niner stayed in my lap, nudging me for more pets. “You’re way more important. I did bring you some clothes though, I doubt you need them tonight but they’re in the car. I figured Niner would be a much better surprise. And I got her cleared to stay with you, a type of protective services considering everything going on.”

Niner wouldn’t have to leave? I hugged her again, and she grumbled and wagged her tail enough that her butt even wiggled. I still felt awful for losing Beau’s clothes, and he had gotten me more clothes. But…he had gotten me clothes of my own? Tears started streaking down my cheeks. He was so amazing. “Thank you. I’m so thankful that I can be back with you too. I wasn’t sure I would.” I paused, my thoughts wandering back to Ives and what had happened. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but what happened with Ives?”

He nodded, not speaking for a bit. “They found an operative of a group known as GodHead who was waiting for Synthetics to come out of the building. They’re the ones who don’t like us very much. And they’re the ones who created the BIOS virus. They infected Ives.” He paused. “It’s a virus that takes over our operating systems, takes control and causes us to target other Synthetics -to try and spread it. I think he targeted you because he registered your prosthetics as one of us.”

I nodded slowly. Ives had only been there because of me. “So, if you hadn’t gone to help me, Ives would have been safe.” Oh shit, was that too much? I forced my voice to sound more lighthearted. “And just point me in the right direction. I’ll leave tonight and punch all those GodHead shitheads right in their dumbass faces.”

Beau stared, eyes wide. “Wha—? No! No, it could have been anyone. If not Ives it would have been whatever Synthetic was next. Could have been anyone coming out of repairs or maintenance. They’ve been attacking us more and more. It wasn’t because of you. And, well, I think even if Ives knew it would have happened, he would have gone after you anyway.” He smiled, patting my hand, but that just made me feel nauseous. Why would he care that much about me? “And that’s the problem. We don’t know where they are, who their leader is, how they came up with it. It’s hard to stop them. They could be anywhere and there could be countless."

I nodded, not able to bring myself to think about what he had first said. It didn’t make any sense. “I don’t know how helpful I’ll be investigating them, or whatever you say, but I’d love to be at the front lines to destroy all of them for hurting Ives.”

“Well, maybe we’ll take it slow to start with. We’re a pretty rattled bunch.” Beau turned to look at Garnet, and his shoulders fell. “I’m sure there’s a few places we can dig. Maybe something we can trace. I’m waiting to hear from Dr. Yew on what he’s found. But, Ives isn’t like modern systems, he’s been through a lot. I’m sure he’ll be alright.”

I nodded, my expression falling. What had happened to all of them? Garnet had seemed so tired when I saw him. “I’m sorry. I’m focusing on that because I hate sitting still, and I want to distract myself.” I swallowed hard and leaned against Beau, still petting Niner as she curled up in my lap. “Tell me honestly, did Garnet sleep much? He looked exhausted. And Ives looked rough before…what happened.”

“Honestly? They were worried to pieces. Garnet is a double edged blade like that, he loves his job, but he can take it to an extreme. Neither of them quit. They don’t know how to stop. And I don't think they would have until they found you.” They shouldn’t have done all that for me. I grimaced, and Beau jolted. “It wasn’t bad. They’re just stubborn, both of them. And, actually, it was kinda nice to see them working together. I’ve heard it’s been years since they’ve even talked.”

I flinched and looked away. I wasn’t worth it. “I do wish they would have taken care of themselves more though.” I paused. “Thank you. I bet you looked after them.”

“I’m pretty good at it.” He grinned and stood up. “But, trying to get them to do something that isn’t your idea is like trying to change the rotation of the earth. Though, you might have better luck convincing Ives than me.”

My cheeks burned at the thought. “I don’t know. We’ll see…because he will be back. Right?”

He paused, and I just felt more nauseous. “After seeing him charge in after you, absolutely. There’s no way he’d let this keep you apart.” He eased around to Garnet and leaned down to touch his shoulder gently.

Garnet sat up with a gasp, blinking widely and looking around, only calming down when his eyes found me and Beau. He smiled, sighing hoarsely. “Hey, it’s you.” He lifted his right hand, but it was all bandaged. But Beau leaned down to hug him.

“You almost sound like you missed me.”

“Because I did,” Garnet mumbled. He hugged Beau for a bit before he pulled back and looked over at me. “You’re awake too -oh, sheesh bud. You snuck the dog in here?”

“I have my ways.”

“How you doing spitfire?” He squinted at me.

I smiled, just glad to see that he was feeling okay too. “I feel like shit, but that’s still better than before. It’s the healing power of holding hands while we both slept. How’re you doing?”

“Hell yeah, I still got it. I’m great. I think I got my punch card all filled out, so I get a free ice cream at the dining hall.” He looked back at Beau, his eyes flickering down to his arm. “Hey, look at that. We should start a gang.” He waved his cast with a wince.

“You probably shouldn’t say that with your uniform on,” Beau tutted, standing straight and looking at the pole with the beeping machine on it. “Your vitals look good, they might discharge you in the morning.”

“Aw, but we were having so much fun,” Garnet teased.

I sighed, fidgeting with the blankets. I didn’t want to sit still anymore. “I’d be okay getting out of here as soon as possible. And having a couple of drinks also as soon as possible.”

“She’s speakin’ my language!” Garnet cheered, but Beau shushed him.

“Well, if you’re the local valedictorian, go smooth talk a charge nurse and get her out.”

“Think I can’t?” He sat up, swaying a little before getting to his feet. “Watch this.” He shouldered his jacket and sauntered out of the room.

“My only worry with leaving is how comfortable you might be going back to Garnet’s,” Beau whispered. “I understand if you’re not, if it’s too much. You need to go somewhere you can get good rest to heal.”

I frowned. Why would I be uncomfortable at Garnet’s? It was where I’d feel most comfortable right now! “I’m not uncomfortable about that. But…just platonically,” even though they were both very attractive, “but I might request that I sleep with you both tonight, and Niner. I haven’t had friendly physical touch much this past week, and it sounds really nice. I understand if that’s too weird.” I didn’t know what people thought of affection here, platonic or otherwise.

But Beau’s face lit up. “Weird? I don’t think it’s weird! I like the sound of that. I think we can all fit. And I think you’ve earned as much friendly touch as you’d like. Hopefully, Garnet can—”

“Alright, how we doing?” A nurse walked in, stopping when his eyes landed on Niner.

Garnet followed him in. “Don’t worry, service dog.” He winked at me, and I smiled.

“O-oh, ok. Hi puppy.” He inched over to the monitor as Niner stared him down. I petted her, trying to let her know that everything was okay. The nurse tapped at the screen. “Well, she looks like she should be good to go. Remember, liquid diet as much as possible, maybe give it another 24 hours for light solids. Crackers and the like, and slowly work your way up.” He kept talking, but I didn’t understand all of it, my mind wandering as Beau left the room and came back in with a bag after a bit.

The nurse left, and Beau helped me out of the bed. “How’d you manage that?”

“Gave him my free ice cream voucher,” Garnet teased. “Didn’t I teach you not to doubt me?” He moved out of the way as Beau helped me to the bathroom. I was so fucking weak still, but I had to get out of here.

Beau hovered a little as we got to the bathroom. “I brought your old clothes, but I brought you some others too, if maybe you might like them. It’s ok if you don’t.”

“I’d like the other clothes, if that’s okay. Don’t worry, this time I won’t actually take them from you forever.” I laughed lightly and winked. “Thank you.” I loved Beau’s clothes. They were just a little bit bigger, which made them comfier.

Beau snickered. “Well they’re properly yours. I got them just for you although…I hope it’s something you like.”

I froze and stared for a bit as I took the bag. I couldn’t find my voice as I went in the bathroom and closed the door. Beau had bought clothes just for me? I took the clothes out of the bag and started crying. They were comfy jeans and a t shirt with a dog on it and a pink hoodie that was a little too big in a good way. I…I had never imagined someone would care enough to buy me something like this. How could I repay them?

As I changed out of the hospital gown, I grimaced as it got harder to move my prosthetic wrist. There was a dent on the inside of my wrist from where Ives had grabbed me. It didn’t hurt, but the dent made it harder to move.

But I wasn’t going to worry anyone else. I pulled the hoodie sleeve down over the dent and walked out. Niner was waiting at the door, and she stood up and bonked her head against my leg when I walked out, and I smiled and petted her as I looked up at Garnet and Beau. A few tears streaked down my cheeks as I smiled. “Thank you so much. I love these clothes so much.”

“Look at you,” Garnet chuckled. “You look great!” Beau smiled and pulled me into a hug, even lifting me up off the ground. I hugged him back tightly, starting to cry harder as I buried my face in his shoulder. “Okay, okay, easy bud. She’s still bruised up.”

“Sorry.” Beau set me back down and patted my shoulders. “Sorry. I got too happy.”

I laughed. “I didn’t mind.” It had just felt so damn good to be hugged again, like I was safe. The nurse came by with a wheelchair, and Garnet signed something from him. I eyed the wheelchair, feeling a little nauseous about being taken somewhere instead of walking on my own. I looked over at Garnet. “That wheelchair better be for you because I’m walking.”

He laughed, doubling over as Beau hushed him again. “Should’ve known. Don’t worry, we’ll leave it here for the next one.” He waved for us to follow as he left, and we walked out of the hospital. Finally. I hated those sterile white walls, even if the nurses and doctors had been nicer.

The car they went to looked a little older than their usual car. Garnet glanced back at Beau. “You driving bud?”

“If we want to get home alive.”

“Chess, front or back?”

“I’ll take the backseat.” I slid in and settled down, with Niner jumping in after me and curling up right next to me. I petted her with a smile. At least I could still be with her even if Ives…well… I blinked and pushed away the thoughts. I didn’t want to start crying again.

As Beau and Garnet got into the car, an important question popped into my mind. I smiled a little. “So, I have to ask. Did anything happen between you two this past week? You seem a lot more open about your affections for each other.” My smile turned mischievous.

Garnet bumped his head on the top of the door, hissing as he dropped into the seat. Beau fidgeted with his hands as Garnet winced a laugh, rubbing his head. “Like you two aren’t all lovey dovey. I see the hand holding and snickering.”

“And you haven’t? You always nag Lora about adopting everyone, but here you are,” Beau said.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You literally just signed to take responsibility for her release. You fell asleep holding her hand.”

“You bought her clothes!”

I snickered. “And you’re arguing like a married couple!”

They went quiet, and Garnet turned around. “Put your seatbelt on.”

“See, there, you’re doing it.” Beau pulled out of the parking spot.

“Alright, fine!” Garnet yelled, but he was smiling, so it wasn’t a bad yell. “I like you, we should date, fuckin’ sleep in the bed with me! You’re always sleeping on the couch and I feel like I make you nervous, but you should sleep in the bed and fuckin’ date me!” He slapped the console, and Beau stopped hard at the stop sign. “Yeah, that’s right. I said it.”

I grinned. Finally. It seemed that I had been wrong that they had already talked about it, but at least they finally were now. “So does that mean I’m not allowed to sleep with you guys tonight?”

“No, maybe I can use you to bribe him to sleep in there.” Garnet was still smiling as he stared at Beau. Who hadn’t said anything as he kept driving. “You gonna leave me hanging?”

“I have to drive the car,” Beau whispered.

“You don’t like me?”

“I…I do like you.” Beau nodded shortly.

“You wanna date me?”

Beau hesitated, glancing at Garnet, who grinned back at him. Beau took a deep breath. “Yeah,” he exhaled. “Yeah, I do.”

“Congrats,” Garnet turned to me, as he blindly took Beau’s hand. “You’re part of the family!”

I grinned. They had finally admitted it! But then, what Garnet said sank in, and I stared at them, tears blurring my vision. “Thank you. I never thought I’d have a family.”

Garnet frowned and let go of Beau’s hand, reaching back to pat my knee. “Oh, kid, you’re alright. You were kinda already family when we took you out to dinner.” He snickered and glanced at Beau, who nodded. “Don’t know that that’s always a good thing, but you’re stuck with us now.” Niner lifted her head and licked up the tears on my cheeks. I started crying harder as I petted her. “Shit, now I’m tearing up,” Garnet said.

“That’s what you get,” Beau laughed.

I laughed a little and wiped at my eyes. “And I don’t mind PDA at all, so you can totally try out your newfound relationship tonight.”

“Well, hey, that works right?” Garnet smeared at his face. “We’ll just all pile in the bed for one big snug fest. I think we’ve earned it.”

“How’s that going to work?” Beau asked. “What if you roll over in your sleep and crush her?”

“Jeez, bud, I’m not a friggin’ half ton.”

I laughed as my cheeks heated up. “Getting crushed non-fatally sounds nice.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Garnet messed up Beau’s hair. “We’ll take it slow. Worry about resting tonight and getting everyone comfortable.”

Everyone fell silent, and I just kept petting Niner, looking out the window. What were they doing to Ives now? Would he actually come back? Would he be okay? I stared at nothing as my thoughts looped over and over about Ives.

When we got to Garnet’s apartment, Beau looked around, and he took the bag that held my spare clothes. I tried to argue that I was fine, but he said I didn’t need to strain myself until I was back on solid foods. I just huffed, even though I was smiling, and just walked with Niner, petting her head. She stayed right by my side, looking around too as if there were threats around every corner.

I leaned on Niner as I walked, since I was still shaky. But once we got into Garnet’s apartment, I smiled. It was already so much more cozy than that damn hospital room. “Thank you. It’s so nice to be in a comfortable place again.”

“I want it to be comfortable.” Garnet closed the door. “And I hope after what happened you’re not worried being here. I made some upgrades when I had the door fixed. Beau can link to the perimeters to know whenever a door or window is opened.”

“I made him upgrade,” Beau muttered, and I smiled at the addition. He hung up his coat.

“The point is, no one’s getting in here without us knowing about it. And if those fucks try again, I’m putting a new hole in their face.” He turned on the lights, heading for the hall. “I’m gonna change in the bathroom, but bedroom is open if anyone’s tired.”

I shook my head, finally sinking down into the couch. It was so damn comfy. “I feel very comfortable here. Because I’m with you guys.” I just sat there, petting Niner after she jumped up. But then my stomach growled. “I want that stir fry again,” I sighed. “And some alcohol.”

“Chess,” Beau scolded. He came from the kitchen with a bottled drink that said something about sports on it. “How about this instead? We’ll start with this and see maybe about solid food tomorrow.”

“Alcohol isn’t a solid,” Garnet called.

“And you’re not a doctor—I know you’re hungry but you have to be careful. You don’t want to hurt yourself or end up back in the hospital, do you?”

“Yes, mom,” Garnet mocked in a high-pitched voice.

I sighed, but a smile pulled at my lips. “Fine. I’ll be fucking responsible.” I took the drink and sipped it, and it wasn’t bad. My eyes started closing on their own, so I stood up. “Yeah, I think I might just want to get to bed pretty soon though. I’m still tired. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Beau smiled. “And don’t worry, I figured you would be. I can’t imagine you’d had that much sleep this past week. Come on, let’s get you snuggled up in bed.” He led me down the hall, past the bathroom where Garnet was brushing his teeth. But he had only boxers on, and I couldn't the second look. Damn, he looked nice, but also his tattoos! But no! I wasn’t supposed to be looking. He and Beau had just started a relationship! What the fuck was wrong with me?

Beau turned on the bedroom lights, and I stared at the bedroom. It was scarcely decorated, but there was a window on the far wall, and it was beautiful! Curtains covered it for the light. And there was a bed with so many pillows! It looked so comfortable!

“I don’t know why, don’t ask me,” Beau whispered, starting to remove some to put on the chair that was already stacked with pillows.

I smiled. “It looks comfy.”

“I’ll give him that,” Beau laughed, motioning me over, which I did. “Try it out, get comfortable.” He turned on lamps instead, turning off the overhead light, and the neon lights from the city filtered in through the curtains.

I settled in the bed, lying on my side, and it was so damn comfy. Niner jumped up to curl in the impression of my stomach and legs. I draped an arm over Niner whispering soothing words to her. Was she missing Ives too?

But I was taking up a lot of space. I glanced over at Beau, frowning a little. Are you sure I won’t get in the way? Do you two want some alone time?”

“You’re never in the way, Chess.” Beau smiled, grabbing some different clothes and draping them over an arm. “We’ve had enough alone time this past week. I’ve missed you.” He worried the wrinkles of the clothes.

“Trade off.” Garnet entered. He went to the closet, flicking the overhead light on and off. “Welp, forgot to do laundry. Just boxers and tattoos gonna be okay or am I gonna have to wear a button up to bed?”

“Kinda want to see that,” Beau said on his way out.

I laughed, my cheeks heating up again. “I don’t mind at all either way. As long as you’re okay with me finding you handsome and possibly looking respectfully. Also, your tattoos are awesome.”

“Nothing wrong with window shopping,” he sighed, stepping around the bed to get under the covers on one side of me. “And thank you, I think they look pretty good. Might have to go get these touched up soon.” He pointed to two bands on his arm, holding it up to show me. “When my parents died, everything got escheated to the state. So I lost pretty much everything of theirs, but I still had one of my report cards where they signed off on my grades, so I got their signatures done on these bands. They’re my favorite. You got any tattoos?”

He had lost family too. I looked closely at them. The signatures were clear. “I’m sorry that happened. That’s terrible. But no. I haven’t had the chance to get tattoos yet, but I wanted to.”

“Eh, it was a pretty shitty time for everybody.” Garnet smiled when Beau walked in. “And I think you should. I know there’s a lot of mixed feelings about them, but if you think of something you like, you should get one…or fifty. If you’re interested, Valetta knows an artist that does great work.” But I wouldn’t be able to afford one for a while, probably.

“I want one too.” Beau pouted. He crawled into the bed on the other side of me from Garnet, so I would be in the middle. Which was fine by me. I got way too cold too easily. “But it doesn’t work on me.”

“I could weld something on you.” Garnet laughed and sat up, gathering all the sheets to throw over us. This was the best. “Everybody comfy?”

I hummed and tried to snuggle closer to both of them. “This’s so comfy,” I mumbled. My eyelids grew heavy as Beau wrapped an arm around me and started to purr. And I closed my eyes and fell asleep, comfortable and happy.

*

Pain. Unimaginable pain. My eyes opened, and Ives was leaning over me, his eyes were blue, and he kissed my cheek...as he dug his hand into my prosthetic arm and grabbed it and tore it down. Hot tears streaked down my cheeks as I looked back at Ives. "Please! Please! I...I love you. Why?"

 His eyes were red, and he tore half my arm off, and I shrieked...

And I shot up with a shriek, coughing up smoke and scrambling to the end of the bed. My prosthetic wrist throbbed with dull pain, and I clutched it as it seized and wouldn’t move.

Damn it, I was in Garnet’s house. I was safe. Why did I still have to have nightmares? Why was I having nightmares about Ives especially? What the fuck was wrong with me? Hot tears streaked down my cheeks as I tried not to sob.

The light turned on, and I blinked back to the present as Garnet spoke. “Chess?” he whispered.

Beau sat down next to me, looking me over. “Are you okay?”

“Nightmare?” Garnet asked. I kept trying to move my wrist, but nothing happened. “Something hurt?”

I winced. Everything had to be fine. I didn’t want them blaming Ives. “Just a fucking nightmare. I’m sorry.” I sniffled, wiping furiously at my eyes.

Garnet gently soothed a hand over my shoulders. “S’alright. Something going on with your hand? Is it bothering you? I know they were…messing with it when we got there.”

I couldn’t look any of them in the eyes. Niner laid a head in my lap and whined as I finally got my wrist to move a tiny bit. “It…it wasn’t them, I don’t think. Ives…he grabbed my wrist while he was…infected, and there’s a dent and I’ve lost a good amount of range of motion. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done. That’s why I didn’t say anything. And it’s just hurting because of the nightmare, probably.”

Beau pulled away a bit as Garnet sat up and scooted closer. “Here, kid, lemme take a look. Just see what I can see." He offered out a hand, and I gave him my wrist. He gently looked it over, grimacing and sliding his thumb in the indentation Ives left. “God, Ives did this? You’re sure it’s not hurting you? It’s not connected to a nerve or something? You startled pretty bad.”

“Just…just a little. Not bad. But I think the pain right now is mostly because of the nightmare.”

“…Wanna talk about it?” he whispered, frowning and wiping a tear from my jaw.

I grimaced, leaning into his touch. “It was just…Ives. Tearing at my prosthetics.” More tears streaked down my cheeks, and I clenched my prosthetic fist. “It hurt like hell for a dream. I’m not scared of him, damn it. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him. So, why does my fucking mind have to do this shit?”

“Because that was scare as hell.” Garnet’s stare hardened. “A six foot four, irate, red eyed anything is terrifying, and you didn’t even have to grow up watching Terminator to know that. You know that wasn’t Ives, and you know not to be scared of Ives. But the brain isn’t so easy to convince. It’s trying to work things out for itself, and that usually results in nightmares.” He frowned and pulled me into a hug, and I buried my face in his shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared, kid. And don’t you worry about Ives. I’ve seen that bastard take a truck head-on. A little bug isn’t going to have him down for long.”

I started sobbing, hugging him back tightly. But it was partially my fault that he got infected in the first place, and Garnet had made it sound like the virus was serious before when we had talked about it. “I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

He rocked gently as he pet over my head. “Hey, that’s nothing to worry about. I’ll get back to sleep, so don’t you worry about that. We wanna make sure you’re alright.”

I had to fucking get it together, damn it. I pulled back and wiped at my eyes. “I’m…I’m fine. I think I can get back to sleep.”

“Okay, don’t feel like you’re stuck here if you need some air. Got a balcony, got some tv, know it can be tough to try and make yourself lie down. You do whatever makes you comfortable. We got you.” He moved back, and I laid down, Niner lying right next to me.

I hugged her tightly as my eyelids actually started getting heavy again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Garnet helped Beau lay down too, and we were all cuddling again. Garnet turned off the light. “Tomorrow’s gonna be better, you’ll see. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

I nodded, feeling so damn safe. “It will be because I’m with you two…” And I relaxed completely and fell asleep again.

*

Niner moved, and I jumped awake, looking around groggily. That had probably been the best sleep I had ever had. Beau was gone, and Garnet was at the door, as if he had just been about to leave. “What’s goin’ on?”

Garnet grimaced. “Dunno,” he whispered, opening the door wider. And the smell of good food wafted in. Damn. How did anyone dismiss this food here as not good? My stomach growled. His stomach growled too. “Smells fuckin’ amazing though.” His bandaged hand fumbled to close the door. “Want me to go check it out?”

It smelled too amazing to pass up. I shook my head and sat up with a yawn. “I wanna go too. But shit, I’m technically not supposed to have solids for another half a day.”

I stumbled out of bed, and he opened the door again. He inched down the hall, leaning against the wall. He seemed to relax after a bit, and he waved me on, and I froze when I saw who was there. Valetta was sitting at the bar, and Lora and Beau were working at the stove on some food with icing. There was food all piled up and smelling amazing, and a ‘Welcome Back’ banner hung over the bar.

Valetta looked over as she was trying to sneak some bacon. “Surprise!” she yelled, and Lora and Beau jumped, turning around.

“Welcome back!” they all shouted at the same time. Tears blurred my vision, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t imagine anyone doing something like this for me.

“I know you’re not supposed to have solid foods, but maybe just a little bit,” Beau said, wiping his hands on a towel tucked at his waist.

“So we made everything!” Valetta cheered. “Like a buffet you can nibble on!”

I burst into tears, unable to stop myself. It was just all so overwhelming. In a good way. “For…for me? Really? You guys are so amazing. I owe you so much.”

“Oh, babes, no!” Valetta hurried around the bar and hugged me tightly, and I hugged her back. Hugs were the best.

“Of course for you. We’re so glad you’re back -you’re okay! We worried so bad!” Lora walked over and combed my hair back. “We wanted to come spoil you, and, maybe, if you’re feeling up for it we can take you around town. You’re due for some things of your own.”

“We promised you a tour, and we’re gonna get you a tour.” Valetta giggled.

“Thank you. That sounds good. I’d love that.” I hugged them all tightly. I never wanted to let go. They were the best people in the world. “The food smells so good.”

“Absolutely!” Lora said. “Now, I know you can’t have a lot, but we’ll start with just a little.” Lora took me by the shoulders, leading me to the food.

“Congrats on your new boyfriend, my guy,” Valetta teased Garnet. “You made me fifty bucks.”

Lora handed me a plate, explaining all the different food. “Maybe just a quarter plate to start, we’ll give it time and go from there. Okay?”

But everything looked so good. I nodded, staring at all the food. “That sounds good.” Even though my stomach was growling so badly. To distract myself, I looked over at Valetta, a smirk pulling at my lips. “I was there when it started, if you want all the details.”

“Uh, absolutely!” Valetta roughly patted Garnet’s face, stepping around to me, and my cheeks heated up. She was so pretty. “I wanna hear all of it, because I have been waiting for months.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Garnet grumbled.

“Lost money on that one,” Lora sighed, grabbing a glass for me.

“Hey, this is Chess’s brunch. Not about me.” Garnet grabbed a plate. “We need to take her shopping.”

I smiled innocently at him as I grabbed a tiny bacon. “We can talk while we shop.”

“Typical tough guy behavior,” Valetta scoffed. She bumped shoulders with me with a snicker, and I blushed more. Why was everyone here so pretty? “He’s been crushing so hard, like a school yard bully.” Garnet scoffed, leaning over Beau’s shoulder.

“Hopefully these boys have been taking care of you,” Lora whispered.

I nodded, smiling a little. “They said we’re family now.”

Lora and Valetta smiled at that, and Valetta leaned closer to me. “Well, sucks that Beau is off the market.” She wrinkled her nose. “He’s a cutie, right?”

I laughed. “Yeah, I flirted with him on my first day here.”

“She’s got good taste.” Valetta grabbed more bacon.

My cheeks heated up more. “Honestly, you’re all really attractive.”

Lora froze, blushing, and Valetta giggled. “You’re not a bad catch either, babes. I’m surprised you haven’t had a dozen offers yet.”

My cheeks were burning as my thoughts wandered to Ives and the kiss and cuddling with him. I grabbed a tiny bit of pancakes, eggs, and cinnamon roll before finally sitting down. “None. Well, Ives seemed like he might be interested. And I’m interested in you guys and Ives. I don’t really know anything but hook ups, so I’m sorry. I’m not sure about feelings beyond that at the moment.”

“Ives?” They all turned to look at me.

“Girl, I’m flattered!” Valetta snickered. “Don’t apologize, I’m not offended.”

“Wait, Ives showed interest? I don’t- I’m sorry that probably sounds terrible.” Lora shook her head. “I mean, Ives showing emotions? That’s new.” Garnet had even frozen mid bite, staring.

I nodded, and my cheeks burned even worse. I started nibbling at the food, and damn, it was amazing. “He was really sweet. And he’s a good kisser.”

“WHAT?!” everyone said at the same time. I curled up a little. Did I say something wrong? Garnet had even dropped his cinnamon roll.

“Get the fuck out,” Valetta whispered, then getting louder, slapping the counter. “Get! Out!” She squealed. “Dude, how was it?”

“Valetta,” Lora hissed. “That’s rude.”

Good thing I had no shame and would prefer to think of this instead of what was going on with Ives right now. “He was a little awkward, but once I helped him out, it was really nice. And he picked me up so we were eye level, and we cuddled that night. He was so comfortable. He helped me have the best night’s sleep I had before that.”

Valetta squealed again, clapping and bouncing in place. “OK, I’m definitely going to need details, girl! He picked you up?” She threw her head back. “Whoo! I bet you slept A-mazing!”

I nodded. “Yeah. Except the nightmare, but he was really comforting.”

“Aw,” Lora cooed. “Now he does seem like he’d be sweet that way.”

“Are the nightmares bad?” Valetta grimaced. “I’m glad you had him there, eh?” She winked.

I nodded. “They can be. And yes. When he was taken by the Auditors in the morning, he said we’d go to the beach when he got back.” My expression fell. “I miss him.”

“You will,” Garnet said. “That asshole will be back and if he doesn’t take you, I’ll put him out of his misery.” I couldn’t help but smile at that.

Valetta whispered something to Garnet before turning back to me. “And I know you probably do, babes. I mean, I don’t blame you.”

“Maybe you could visit him sometime,” Lora said. And then Beau whispered something I couldn’t hear. What was going on?

I perked up at the thought though. “I could visit him?”

“Uh, well, I don’t know.” Garnet glanced between me and Beau. “Maybe? We could always ask Yew."

"We should break in and see him!" Valetta cheered.

"Okay, that’s enough from you.” Lora turned to her. “More food in your mouth, less words coming out.”

“The break in’s a good idea.” I smiled a little more. “But I might need to wait until I get my strength back before I can do anything like that.” I finished up my plate, but my stomach was still growling.

“True, true.” Valetta nodded. “Shopping first, invasion later.”

“If you feel like shopping,” Lora said. “If you’re tired, you should rest.”

“I’ll carry her if she gets tired.” Valetta winked, and my cheeks warmed up all over again.

“Oh, yeah, and if you walk on tip toes her feet just might not drag the ground.” Garnet snickered, but then looked down at his dropped cinnamon roll. “Aw man.”

“So, it’s up to you. Whatever you want to do.” Lora smiled.

I totally wanted to look around, at least. I still felt bad about not being able to pay for anything. “I’d like to go shopping. It would be nice.” I smiled, but then I had a great idea. I turned to Beau. “Can I bring Niner?”

“Sure.” He smiled, drying his hands. “She’s classified as a service assistant, so you shouldn’t have any trouble bringing her anywhere.”

“Niner never gets to come out with us. It’ll be nice, and good for both of you.” Lora patted my hand. “Want more to drink?”

I nodded. “Maybe one of those sports drinks? That was nice yesterday. Thank you.” I turned toward the bedroom. Niner had been such a good dog, waiting there. “Niner? Please come here!” I smiled when I heard her jump from the bed.

Valetta turned to me with her mouth hanging open, grabbing my wrist, and I frowned. Had I done something wrong? “She listens to you?” Her eyes widened as Niner trotted up to me. “She listens to you!! Holy shit! Is anyone else seeing this?”

“Niner is usually only ping-command operated.” Lora smiled, glancing at me deviously. “Looks like someone was given administration clearance.”

What…what was that? Was it bad? I frowned as I pet Niner on her soft, sweet, little head. “Huh? Ives just told me I could call her and ask her to sleep on the bed with us and she’d listen.”

“Dude, Niner is made for infiltration and intimidation. For breaching, you don’t want the bad guys knowing there’s a k9,” Valetta explained excitedly. “Stealth, element of surprise, all that kind of thing. So, she’s not designed for vocal command like a traditional dog. Synthetic k9 units require a Synthetic handler.” She motioned at Niner. “That, that you just did, is not stock. That is a modification Ives not only inputted, he synced to your voice.”

“Ha!” Garnet grinned. “Auditors would lose their shit if they knew.”

My cheeks burned all over again. I could barely wrap my head around what it all meant, but it was something that Ives broke the rules to give me. “Oh, wow. That was so sweet of him.” Tears blurred my vision as I looked down at Niner, petting her more. She leaned into my pets.

“Well, spitfire, what do you think you wanna look for first?” Garnet said. “Seen anything you might like? Know of something you’ve always wanted to get? Maybe besides a, what’d you call it? An azure snake? Don’t think we could find one of those.”

I smiled, trying my damnedest to not let the tears fall. They were all so nice. “I’d like a toothbrush and stuff like that, and a few more pairs of clothes. Other than that, I’m not sure. I don’t need a lot.”

“Oh, gosh, yeah. Absolutely get the basics for you, kid. But nothing else? Like hobbies, what you do for fun. Do you like to draw? Uh, play an instrument?”

“Video games? Cook? We should probably get her a phone,” Lora said.

“We’re gonna have to teach her about the internet, I don’t think she knows about video games,” Garnet said. “Phone might not be a bad idea though.”

I frowned, finding the concept of all this to be foreign to me. “What I do for fun?” I tilted my head, trying to think. “The only thing I had fun doing was going to bars and flirting. And I had another reason for doing that too.”

“Well, we’re gonna have to try some things out and see what you like.” Lora stood, taking my plate with hers. “And who knows, maybe something will catch your eye while you’re out.” She winked, starting to clean up.

I perked up. “That sounds good!” But wait, that meant spending more money on me. “But I don’t want you to spend too much money on me.”

Everyone assured me it was okay, and so I went and got changed and ready for the day. It was going to be good, and I’d have to tell Ives all about it when he got back.

[noxus-roxus]

wrote a throwaway story, because of anxiety so here it is

Tw// suicide, death, loneliness and slight family abuse

Prologue

Jordan Rose Anderson, 16, of Asheville, NC, passed away on April 17th surrounded by friends and family. She attempted an overdose the night prior and passed away in the hospital the next day.

Jordan was born on November 4, 2005 to Janet & Chris Anderson in Louisville, Kentucky. Jordan attended The School of Inquiry and Life Sciences and was passionate about psychology and music.

While in school, she was an intern for psychology at UNC Hospital and enjoyed spending time with her friends. Jordan was also extremely passionate about music and would often be found writing songs in the music center.

Jordan met her best friends Jamie & Sam at SILS and enjoyed spending time taking photos and going to concerts with them. Jennifer was also a part of both the Photography Club and R.I.S.K. Club at SILS and was passionate about mental health and the

Jordan’s memory will forever be cherished by her friends at SILS, her family, and the doctors she worked with at the hospital.

Jordan’s POV

So I’m dead, and it’s a little bit late to turn around. I took a ton of Vitamin D3. And I died. But I can still see everyone. They are all standing around me, and I’m just kinda here. My mom is upset, and mad, she is mad at me. She was never there for me, and I guess she never thought that I would actually go through with it. My dad isn’t crying, he’s just staring at me. At my lifeless body, probably in shock or something. I mean I guess it would make sense to be in shock, I never told them that I felt this way, but they also never did anything to see how I was doing.

I was smart, like 3.5 GPA kinda stuff, not amazing but decent. I was always involved in some extracurriculars but not a 3 season athlete. I had two or three really close friends, but I knew everyone at some point. I care a lot about them, and I feel bad for leaving them, but they promised me that they’ll be okay.

My mom called Jamie first, to tell him the news, his mom picked up and said they were heading over. She called Sam next, who picked up immediately just started crying and said that she was sorry for their loss and that she was on her way.  Until those two showed up, it was just my parents talking to the nurses about paperwork and stuff. Then they just sat there, they couldn’t leave me, and apparently they couldn't move me yet. So I just laid there and listened to them talk to me about how it was too soon and I shouldn’t of done it because it was a sin.

Sam showed up first, and grabbed my hand, and just sobbed, more than I ever thought she would. And she apologized, for every thing that had ever upset me, from since we were 7. She apologized for “borrowing” a lipstick last year, and she apologized for not catching me when I fell on the goddamn monkey bars when we were 10. And she apologized for everything. She even apologized for causing my death, and then I wish I wasn’t dead, I wish I could hug her and say “nono, it wasn’t you, it was everything else” but I can’t, it’s too late to say that.

Jamie in, and just hugged Sam, and cried with her. And just whispered “i love you and I’m so sorry you had to leave” and I wish I could tell him that i'm still here. Except I’m not, I’m gone.

Jamie, Sam, and my parents were asked to leave so I could be relocated and moved to the funeral home.

[queen-boudicca]

Next up in the nuwho rewatch, Aliens of London!

Bechdel test pass: yes

Made me cry: no

Aliens of London

Oh a previously on, fun

Oh is this the one where we get the bag wolf graffiti?

"12 hours" yeah nice job nine

"Where were you" "i spent the night at Shireen's" "365 nights??"

"You've been gone a whole year oops"

BAD WOLF GRAFFITI MY BELOVED

Feel really bad for Rose here

And Jackie tbh

"I employed rose as my companion" nine how did you think that would sound

Like the doc makes mistakes all the time but tbh this was a really bad one

Oh yay the line that's super not homophobic at all

I'm choosing to believe rose meant it as a compliment

"I'm the only person that knows aliens exist" *spaceship flies over their heads into big Ben* "oh that's just not fair" ily rose

I like how they show the traffic jams

Aww yisss the very American news anchor with a very convincing accent

Tbf it could be worse

I love how they just use this same news anchor over at least the next four seasons

Love them all around the tv

Babe how do you know the body is of non terrestrial origin you can't see it and they've not done any tests or anything

Aww the cookin channel

Wait how did he make that spaceship in time? They're still looking at the wreckage how did they change their program, bake a spaceship cake, and then record the whole episode I'm so confused

TOSH

TOSH TOSH TOSH

Love the dramatic music when she pulls away the sheet

Love the reporter speculating why the mp who's in charge of sugar examining is here rn

HARRIET JONES MP FOR FLYDALE NORTH

Ah yes the fart jokes, truly the pinnacle of comedy

Evil chuckling

Blon literally has her hand over her mouth wow

Aww nine's all excited about first contact

Rip

MICKEY

Poor guy he got really mega fucked over

Also wow rtd way to handle that 

Also nine way to be a lying liar who lies

Harriet Jones ily

100% she's like why the fuck did they leave the emergency protocols on the fucking desk here where anyone can walk in and take them

Tosh again!! 

Nine shushing his sonic king shit

Getting some eight in the mortuary flashbacks rn

Love all the unit soldiers just taking orders from him bc he said it confidently

Aww piggie

Nine being so mad they shot it <3 "it was scared"

Ah more fart jokes how charming

Oh the unzipping of the heads

Also the military dude not doing anything until they murder him

Tosh and nine!

The compassion and anger nine has is just *chef's kiss*

Mickey! 

He's completely correct and justified

"He's not my boyfriend Mickey, he's much more important" jfc rose

Nine being a bitch to Mickey is... not a good look when Mickey literally had his life ruined (which also either wouldn't have been as bad or would've have happened at all if he were white) bc of his mistake

Can't even really be mad at Jackie for phoning it in like she was just tryna protect rose

Not sure why the doctor would cause a huge red alert and not just have the unit people be like "oh him"

And back to the slitheen

So it's bc it searches for keywords and they said doctor? What if someone had to make an appointment

Ah back when they were still the United nations intelligence taskforce, before they got told off by the UN for violating the Geneva convention

"They wouldn't recognize me" bullshit they know you regenerate

Oh hello helicopter

Well that's fast

Can't believe none of the soldiers saw where Mickey went 10/10 for perception

"Who's the prime minister now" "how should I know i missed a year" i mean this was before we had a new one every month

Oh an evil cop (sorry that's a bit redundant isn't it)

Love how Harriet Jones just sneaks in there

Harriet and rose bonding!

Lol rose just grabs her arms when she starts crying

Yay nine dominating the meeting 

Well rip the prime minister I guess

I feel bad for the assistant guy i liked him but I'm pretty sure he dies

There's simply too much evil laughter in this

LITERALLY WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST STANDING THERE

Nooo assistant guy whose name is allegedly indra according to the subtitles

Ah okay there's the cliffhanger 

Anyway I'm gonna do WWIII right after this one and post them together so see you soon

[superlonelypin]

you know what, just to make myself hurt...

au where Marinette finds her way into the DC universe... Well she wonders around for a bit before Wonder Woman, or Black Canary take her in and and care for her as they help this teenage girl find her way back to her own universe. Well this takes awhile, like a few years because they haven't even stepped foot into different universes, just earth's, none of the speedsters have run that fast to break that barrier.

So Marinette is stuck there for three to four years (could be longer, up to you) in that time Marinette and Damian meet, fight and hate each other, grow to tolerate one another, become friends, pine over one another, aNd then fall in love. In that exact order, but make it dramatic.

Anyways, Damian's proposed to this girl, and about a week after the proposal the league has finally broken the code to crossing universes and found Marinette's. The young couple are heart broke, especially Marinette because part of her wants to stay and marry Damian, have a family with him and everything, but another part of her wants to go back home, see her friends (what's left of them at least) hug her mother and father, possibly see her grandmother and the rest of her family.

Then some big, life threatening event happens, and Marinette gets trapped in her universe for a few years. Neither Damian nor her have moved on from one another. They still wear their engagement rings on their fingers and everything.

Somehow Nette, finds her way back to Damian, no one knows how (she could build a deminsion cannon, yes, like in doctor who, this is literally where I got this au from) everyone had thought it impossible to crossover, lord knows the speedsters had been trying to find a way with Damian so that he could be reunited with his beloved. Anyways, so Marinette's found her way back over, but of course, it's for life or death purposes.

The two lost lovers find one another and reunite, they are happy for a short while, before reality comes crashing down on the couple, forcing then to focus on the matter at hand. (Not sure what should happen)

Anyways, the threat is taken care of, and Marinette is running out of time, she's burning up a sun in order to stay with Damian, the deminsion cannon can only go so long before disappearing with or without her, so the two stand before one another, both crying Marinette is confessing some things. The two have children, twins, born on her universe (a boy and a girl you can name them whatever but at the moment I'mma go with Antoine and Maryam). Damian is devastated he's missed out on so much, but he's also come to find out Marinette has no one but their children, her parents had died in an akuma accident while ladybug had been away, and her grandparents had died of old age. All her friends had moved on, or simply become so engrossed with Lila's stories they can't tell the difference between fact and lies.

Damian, the man that he is, knows he cannot leave his own universe, and he can't be selfish enough to keep the mother of his children to himself, so he does the hardest thing he's had to do, he lets her go back (this part will play out like how rose left the doctor on the beach, or I guess it's the other way around).

Anyways, with the right equations, the speedsters soon find their way back to Marinette, this time, years doesn't pass, maybe about a few months, and the small family are reunited and soon the wedding of the century is about to take place.

___

yes, I still have writer's block :/

[yoongsisbae]

Day Dream | JHS - Awake! (Alternate Ending)

@sadiesinkofyou I was thinking about this too! So much so I ended up writing this alternate ending. Probably should have just left it up to your imagination cause it’s nothing good but oh well :'D here ya go! ORIGINAL STORY HERE

Hoseok x reader x Namjoon feat. Jimin

Warnings: 18+ graphic scenes of blood and gore, fist fighting, hospital, coma, co-dependency, unaliving?, cheating?, dark ending

Word count: 5.5k

---

“No!” Namjoon pushes past clinic staff and falls to your side. There’s so much blood. A deep crimson pool soaking into his pants at the knee, and it still steadily seeps out from the cut in the back of your head. His hands are covered in it.

“Call 911.” Jimin murmurs to his staff. “Sir! Don’t move her!”

Namjoon can’t stop crying as he watches the love of his life withering away in front of him, like a beautiful rose losing its petals, one red bloom uncovering to another and leaving less and less of you with each passing moment.

He holds the back of your head tight, stopping most of the blood for now. A thumb caresses your cheek, smearing red horror across your face, but Namjoon can only think of your fleeting beautiful presence, how much he already missed you. ‘Please wake up,’ he thinks, ‘Please be okay.’ “What the hell happened?!”

“I-I don't know.” Jimin runs a hand through his hair. He uses his lab coat to stop the blood rushing from the large gash across Hoseok's temple to the side of his head. There’s no cameras in the employee area. He has no idea how this happened, he can only assume why you were here with Hoseok in a place where patients were prohibited.

Looking at Hoseok now, the tech’s body growing colder, his insides twist with worry, with a sinking dread over why, why would you be here, why would there be a lamp, torn from its socket, broken with blood on the base, why?!

---

Namjoon sits, foot resting on his knee, a binder full of papers in his lap that he intends to grade. But he can’t help but look at you, sleeping so peacefully in the hospital bed. You look like a fairytale princess, sleeping, waiting for a hero to wake her. But no matter how many times Namjoon holds your hand and pleads, kisses your forehead, your cheeks and lips, no matter how many times he wishes, you never wake.

It’s been months.

You. Here. In a hospital bed. Bandaged, a feeding tube, hooked up to monitors. You were unresponsive, but you were still in there, somewhere, showing yourself through your brain scans.

He quietly whispers, “wake up.” A soft plea, a small waning hope inside him as he watches your chest rise and fall. “Y/n, please wake up.”

By the time he finishes grading visiting hours are over. He kisses your forehead, whispering goodbye, and brings your hand to his lips for one last goodnight kiss.

He doesn’t see your thumb move when it falls back onto the hospital bed. If only he stayed a mere five minutes later, he would have witnessed your eyes fluttering opening, trying to make sense of your surroundings.

Waking up from something like this was not how it was in the movies, you were sluggish, in a daze, could barely hum for the nurse to notice you. And when she did, doctors watched over you, performed tests, it took so long. It would have felt like an eternity if you had not already known what an eternity really felt like.

They told you to stop pulling at your tubes and wires, but you were so desperate to free youself, even if your limbs could barely grip the plastic tubing. You were desperate to find Hoseok.

You didn’t know, in another room, in the same hospital, in the same moment, the dream walker had finally woken too.

The nurse gave you a notepad, which you hastily scribbled in barely legible writing, ‘Get me out.’

It was hours before doctors finally did what you asked and removed your tubing. The pain was excruciating. You were not used to feeling such horrible pain. For so long, you could jump off buildings, fight against monsters, walk barefoot through snow, body cut and stabbed and it did not feel a fraction of what you were experiencing now fully conscious. “Where is Hoseok?”

The nurses did not understand you. Your voice was hoarse. You were speaking a different language, one you did not know before waking. A language the dream walker taught you, so many dream days and days alone together.

You tried to leave your hospital bed again, you tried to find him.

Your arms had no strength, your legs would not hold you. Doctors tied you down to the bed because you would not listen. You were restrained, like an animal, and you never felt so confined, so bound, in your weak body, stuck, unable to help yourself, unable to dream of freedom.

-

Namjoon, preparing his students for finals did not check his phone until his last class. He finally listens to two voicemails left from the hospital. He couldn’t believe it. He was so shaken by the news of your waking. He had been so used to bad news, a timetable that just kept being pushed further and further away. The good news felt terrifying, exhilarating.

He called off the last class of the day.

-

“We’re not going to her. You need to relax, you’ve just woken up from a coma, Hoseok! Stop! Rest!”Jimin pushes on his friend’s shoulder, still in disbelief. The time it took to get to the hospital after receiving the call did not lesson his shock. He turns to the nurses, “Can you give him something to calm him down, please.”

“We’re waiting on the doctor, sorry Sir,” she says, pressing down on Hoseok’s other shoulder. “He’s with another patient.” She remarks softly, “I can’t believe it, two in one day...it’s a miracle,” she mumbles.

Hoseok already knew. “She’s awake too,” he says in a raspy voice, “It’s y/n. Jimin! Let me go!”

“I-Is that true? Someone else woke up from a coma in this hospital? Was it a woman?”

The nurse's eyes widen, “Y-Yes.”

-

You push the call button again, annoyed. Every limb felt heavy, so heavy. Even your eyelids, but you weren’t tired, you weren’t sleepy. You just wanted to find him.

“Water,” you ask the attending nurse. When she brings you a cup, placing the straw to your lips, you point at your notepad, tapping the paper aggressively to make your point. Two words you took all day to write, to make sure it was perfectly legible. A first and last name, ‘Jung Hoseok.’

-

“Y/n?”

You look up, Namjoon was timidly calling for you. You couldn’t believe it. It had been so long, you could barely remember his face anymore.

As soon as you saw him, it was as if you were staring back at a ghost. You haven’t thought about him in lifetimes. But there he was, he was staring right back at you. Your old life. Just as it was, just as he was. The sight of him was enough to jog your memory, but not strong enough to bring back those feelings, not yet.

You stared back at him in shock, reaching out a shaky hand to make sure he was indeed real.

“Y-Y/n...you’re okay now. Oh my god, you’re okay.”

Namjoon was so happy, so elated to have you back. Even though your eyes were peering at him in scared wonder, he ignored it, just grateful to see you moving and responsive again. He buried his head in your lap, holding you gently. You rested your arms over his shoulders, breaking out into a smile.

It was Joon, your Joon.

You thought you'd never see him again like this. In the beginning you dreamed of him, you would run into so many different versions of Namjoon, much to the dream walker’s annoyance. But eventually, your mind gave up trying to remember him, remember your old friends and family, your childhood…

Eventually, you stopped thinking of the limits of your life and only dreamed of the possibilities.

For your own sanity, you visited a library you created in your mind, cataloguing all the memories you held dear. Once you realized you were not going to wake up from this nightmare, you took Joon and your parents and your friends and your loved ones, wrote every memory you had of them down in their own stories and placed each story on a shelf, only to be read fondly there after. A sweet collection of memories you cherished.

When you were particularly sad and couldn’t undestand why, you and Hoseok would come and visit your library. You would scour the shelves every so often and then once in awhile and then you stopped visiting all together.

“D-Do you know who I am?” Namjoon asked worriedly, looking between doctors and your blank expression.

Your face softened. You smiled down at him, remembering the green book you held so close to your heart a long time ago. The gold writing etched across it's binding, named-

“Namjoon,” you smile. “You haven't changed at all.” You wince, voice still raspy, running your hand through his hair.

Sadly, in that moment, as you smiled down at him all you could think about was Hoseok. All the times Hoseok’s hair were tangled in between your fingers, his smile peering up at you instead.

-

“That’s impossible.”

“It’s true, go ask her. She’ll give you the same story.”

Jimin paced Hoseok’s hospital room. “It’s not true, no,” he mumbles. “…perhaps, a shared psychosis? No no. Can’t be. It doesn’t make any sense! How can you and her...no.”

Hoseok sighs, head back on his pillow, closing his eyes in frustration. “I want to see her, Jimin. Please. I told you what happened. Now let me see her.”

Jimin takes a seat, slumping into the chair, still trying to process everything Hoseok has told him. “You’ve been in a coma for a long time, Hoseok. It’s natural to not be able to distinguish between what’s real-”

“Dammit Jimin!” Hoseok croaks out. “I know that. I’m talking about before!” He explains everything, and though it makes no logical sense, Jimin can’t help but reluctantly put the pieces together.

The pair stay silent as the sleep specialist processes Hoseok’s stories. Then he speaks quietly, “You know, her boyfriend visits her almost every day. We pass each other in the elevator sometimes.”

Hoseok scoffs, laughing, then coughing, not used to the dryness in his throat. “We were together! The time we spent...when we realized what happened…what was going on…we tried to count the days, the years, to figure out how long it would have been if we were awake.”

Hoseok shakes his head at the memories. “It was impossible, I...couldn’t give you a number set in this reality....” he grunts, “...just how much time it was for us...for so long...I lost everything...myself...I...if she hadn't been there...”

Hoseok remembers…

The walls of your home were covered in lines, tiny groups of four lines with one down the center, over and over and over again, the markings covered the entire first floor before you and Hoseok gave up trying to count the days in your dreams.

“Hobi, please, wake up, I can’t get to you.” You shake his shoulders. You don’t remember how long it’s been since he closed his eyes, his gray hair turning to black again, everything around you turning to black. “Please...don’t leave me alone here.”

You cry, hugging the darkness. Pitch black. A void of lost consciousness. You cried, singing a song. It was the last thing you really remembered. Why were you here? What was it that you were clinging to? All you could do was hum. The melody, soft and comforting. You sang and you held him, and decided you were going to embrace him one last time-

“What’s this place?” you looked around. There were small disks of light all around you. The more you looked, the most there were, piles and piles, unruly stacks littering every surface of this place, you’ve never been so deep in Hoseok’s mind.

Next to the window, facing the sunlight, sat a young man with black hair, clothes void of any color, just black. A man void of personality, a blank stare on his face.

“...H-Hoseok?”

He looks away from the window, into your eyes.

“Oh, I found you,” you sigh and lean your forehead onto his. “It will be okay now.” How many times has this happened, how many times have you had to come for each other, to make yourselves remember?

You hum the very last melody you remember, hoping he remembers it too.

The song belonged to the disk lying under his foot, the disk was only cracked a little, but the memory shone through. The melody echoed back to you and you reached for it, holding it in your hand, watching the memory reflected against the shiny surface.

You held it in front of Hoseok. “This song...” he questions.

“Do you remember it?” You hug him close, “Can you sing it?” The music becomes louder, reverberating the stadium and so begins the cheering too. The crowd starts to sing the lyrics in Hoseok’s absence.

Hoseok pulls the earpiece out of his ear, hugging you close. He had come back, remembering this dream so clearly now.

“Not right now,” he says, holding you to him.

You bury your head in his chest as the noise of the crowd lessens into a soft rumble, the cheers shifting to mere waves crashing ashore.

“I missed you.” Hoseok says. He remembers who he was. He remembers who you are. And even if he couldn't remember exactly quite how you both ended up here together, he remembers how it felt to not have you with him, and that was a place he did not want to go back to.

You scoff, holding him tight. The waves roll over your legs, the sun is warm. Where were you now, in your mind or his? It didn’t particularly matter either way, but you were curious.

“C’mon, let’s go,” you pull him along the shore, until you’re running together, laughing again.

---

It’s been months, almost a year since you fell into a coma.

Namjoon tells you what you’ve missed. A new season of your favorite television show, another tragedy in the news, a new hit song everyone is listening to. He video calls your parents, your friends, and you cry seeing their faces, so clear to you now you couldn’t believe you could have ever forgotten. He tells you about his days without you, excitedly making sure you knew about everything you missed, not understanding truly how long you’ve been without him.

You smile and listen and try to make sense of it all, compartmentalizing everything you’ve been through. How can you even begin to make sense of what has happened to you? It feels like you’ve been resurrected from the dead. So many deaths. So many lives. So much. Too much. This isn’t just another dream, is it? Where is Hoseok-

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon cups your cheek in his hand. “Tired?” You shake your head no, offering him a strained smile.

Namjoon reluctantly left you that night. You still had to be monitored, you still needed to recover.

-

That night when the door opened, you expected to see a night nurse. Instead you saw Hoseok, in a wheel chair, body so tiny and thin, being pushed by a hesitant Jimin.

“Y/n!” Hoseok sounded relieved, finally seeing you. He tries to make the chair move faster, pulling at the wheels with his weakened arms.

You push yourself up frantically, uncaring about the lone I.V. tube still stuck into your hand, almost falling onto the ground trying to reach him.

Hoseok holds your head in his hands. You were cold, shivering, and he could not do anything to help you but hold you close to him.

“Are we really out of the dream?” you whisper.

“I think so.” Hoseok reasons, otherwise he wouldn’t be feeling so miserable. “I tried to come as soon as I woke up.”

Jimin doesn’t understand the language you are speaking to another, but seeing you both hold onto each other as if everything around you might disappear, it makes him re-think upon everything Hoseok told him...

---

“Y/n?” Namjoon knocks. “The doctor told me you were here,” he says, confusion evident in his tone as he steps into the unfamiliar hospital room.

He looks between you and Hoseok, playing cards together on Hoseok’s bed.

“Mr. Park.” he nods to Jimin, unspoken words exchanged in tense glances between the two men.

“What are you doing here, y/n?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I needed to speak with Mr. Park,” you smile and nod to the sleep specialist.

“Err about?”

“Our, um, my coma,” you hum, dealing another round, looking up with a smile on your face-

You hesitate, looking at Namjoon’s pained expression, and you knew he deserved an explanation. You look over to Hoseok for reassurance, but he looks just as uncomfortable as your boyfriend now. “I-I don’t know how to say this, but-”you reach for Namjoon's hand, intertwining your fingers. “I-I wasn’t alone...all that time…” you exhale, studying your hands, how small yours looks in Namjoon. You used to hold hands a lot, didn't you? You could barely remember now. It felt...foreign...

“I wasn't alone, Hoseok was there with me.” You turn your head to acknowledge Hoseok, offering him a weak smile.

Namjoon did not like the way Hoseok looked at you, the way he closes the distance between you by leaning in, and he did not like being reminded about the horrific scene he found the both of you in when he looks at the tech’s smug face.

Namjoon did not believe you. You were confused, you are still trying to cope with what happened, Hoseok was the last person you interacted with, so you latched on to him, Namjoon reasoned with growing displeasure. But that didn’t explain why both men were encouraging you by playing along. Not to mention-

“Y/n, I need to talk to you...alone.” He says, tense and urgent.

You were reluctant in leaving. "Why? What’s wrong?"

Namjoon addresses Jimin instead. Jimin should know better, he thinks, than to let you anywhere near that man. “Park, what is wrong with you? You haven’t told them of the investigation?”

“It was dropped, wasn’t it,” Jimin says uneasily.

Namjoon shakes his head, growing more frustrated. “Well now that they’re awake, it can be re-opened!”

“W-What are you talking about, Joon?”

“Y/n, when we found you...” Namjoon tries to speak calmly enough to get across to you the seriousness of what happened. “There were marks all over your body...from him.”

“That was never proven-”

“Oh come off it, Park!” Namjoon can’t keep his temper down any longer. “The only reason he was never officially charged is because they were both in comas. You saw what happened! There were bruises all over her arms! They weren’t there when I dropped her off! The cameras proved that. What about the scratch marks on him? The lamp? What the fuck did you do to her, Jung?” Namjoon spits.

You feel queasy. It felt so so long ago, what happened…but it was slowly coming back to you. “I-I better go for now,” you squeeze Hoseok’s hand, an absentminded thing you’ve done so many times before in your dreams.

What should you do? Should you tell Namjoon the truth? Would he even believe you? Should you just lie and tell him what he wants to hear and blame Hoseok...how would you be able to sleep peacefully then?

Hoseok grabs your hand, pulling you back to him, an action he’s done so many time before in your dreams, to the point where his fingers around your palm felt like they always belonged…and then all hell broke loose.

Months in a coma made Hoseok’s body even weaker. His muscles only stimulated through weekly shock stimulation. Namjoon however, had lots of time to spend at the gym in your absence. Your boyfriend’s rage landed punch after punch, the tech had no way to stop him.

“Joon!” You cry out as Jimin tries to pull him away.

“Calm down or I’ll have to call the police!” Jimin says, locking his arms over Namjoon’s.

“Call them! So they can arrest him!” Namjoon pushes him away.

You’re pushed too, falling on the hard hospital floor, halting the men’s struggle.

Jimin slams the call button on. Hoseok’s face was already deeply bruised, nose bleeding. Namjoon, body shaking from adrenaline tries to calm you down too, your body shaking for another reason.

Namjoon easily lifts your malnourished body, taking you away while doctors rush in and tend to Hoseok.

-

“Any details you can remember? Anything will help.”

Four officers stood at your hospital bedside.

“I don’t remember,” you say stubbornly.

Life had a way of making you exhausted, even after being in bed for months. You wanted to sleep.

The police show you pictures, evidence taken at ‘the scene.’

“Do you remember this?”

The lamp. “No.”

Pictures of your bruises under harsh lighting, pictures of Hoseok’s scratches. Pictures of your blood and his mixed across the sleep clinic’s floors, pictures of the gash on the back of your head stapled. Pictures of your torn clothes laid out neatly and itemized.

“We’ll let you think about it and we’ll come back later,” cold emotionless words from the policemen that made you want to stay silent even more so.

-

“You don’t remember…Y/n?!”

You chew on your bottom lip, agitated. “Let me rest, Joon.”

“…No.” Namjoon reaches for your hand, “Y/n, what happened that day?”

He will never believe you, he might even become so upset he’ll leave you…is that what you wanted?

“Remember why I went to the sleep clinic?” you look into his eyes, hands holding his tightly, grasping for courage.

“Nightmares-”

“I was having nightmares, yes. Hoseok, he-” you struggle with the words, with the truth. “Will you believe me if I tell you?”

“Tell me what, y/n? Of course, I’ll believe you.”

“Hoseok has powers, he was the one in my dreams, he was the one giving me nightmares. I mean, they were my nightmares, but he was able to, I don’t know, get inside my head, and he-”

You look up from your train of thought, catching your boyfriend’s disbelieving eyes. “-h-he was, I guess, ‘dream walking.’ I tried to convince him to leave me alone, that’s why I went into the employee room, he wasn’t going to stop! Joon…Joon?”

“Y/n…what-” The more you looked at Namjoon and the way his disbelief shown clearly through his expressions made you feel crazy, spiraling…

“You said you would believe me if I told you!”

Namjoon rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. It made you feel dumb and small. “Listen to what you’re saying-”

“That’s why everything happened. I confronted him and we got into a fight, I hit him with the lamp. I-I was just trying to get away.” You feel yourself losing control of the situation, but you couldn’t stop yourself now. “Ask Hoseok! He will tell you.”

“I won’t listen to anything he has to say to me.”

You exhale, exasperated. “Joon…it’s the truth! And what I said before is the truth too…he was with me when we were in a coma. He was there.”

“Y/n that’s impossible! You-”

“I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t believe me!” You speak loud, wanting to scream instead, your voice unused for so long. “I’m telling you the truth!”

“Okay…okay, I believe you believe that-”

“No!” You want to cry, you want to make him see the truth.

-

Joon leaves you before visiting hours were over so you make use of the wheelchair the hospital staff supplied you with and roll yourself to the dream walker’s room.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Hoseok groans, the bruises on his face still swollen. He reached for your hand and you take it despite your mixed feelings. “What did you tell the police?”

“Nothing…” you mumble. “I…told Joon. He doesn’t believe me,” you say defeatedly. “Hoseok, I need you to do something for me. I need you to go into Namjoon’s dreams.” You ask the dream walker for the favor, and after a few tense moments, he declines-

“No.”

“What? Why?!”

He tightens his hand around yours when you angrily pull away. “No. I don’t have to go into people’s dreams anymore, y/n. I can…have my own dreams now.”

“Okay? You don’t have to, but I am asking you to…please, Hobi.”

You shouldn’t have used that name, because now Hoseok certainly would not help you with your relationship, give you over to Namjoon so willingly.

“Why would I do that? So you can go back with him? Is that what you want, y/n? To be with Kim Namjoon? Is that what you really want? After everything we’ve been through?”

You bite your tongue, thinking of his question. You know how you should respond and you know how you want to respond, but you don’t want to think of the emotions stirring inside you looking at Hoseok now. “Hoseok, we had our time together. It’s over now-”

It was the first time you really kissed Hoseok, as he hastily presses his lips to yours. But, if you were being truly honest, you already knew his kiss, you kissed him countless of times already. What was it about a dream that felt so real? Why could you not stop kissing him?

“Sorry for the interruption,” Jimin speaks up standing awkwardly at the doorway, back from gathering Hoseok’s patient information…and yours, after pulling some strings. “Should I…come back?”

“No-” “Yes,” Hoseok huffs.

“Stay!” you say, holding your cheek, your nerve endings tingling under your palm.

“Okay, err, so, well it’s good that you’re here! I got the records of your brain activity since you went into a coma,” Jimin says triumphantly.

“Oh…good?” You say.

“Y/n this is amazing news! It’s basically a medical miracle!” Jimin says happily.

You don’t get it. “I don’t get it.”

Jimin pulls out a few readings he copied, holding the sheets up next to one another. “This is yours and this one is his…”

You and Hoseok stare at the sleep specialist blankly. “They’re the same! All the way through, I’ve checked each wave, and it’s all exactly the same!”

“That means…?” You wonder.

“To have two reading the same for months?! It’s more than just a coincidence. This with your statements, well, one could make the argument that this proves you were telling the truth!”

“C-Can I have pictures of that? Please? S-So I can show Joon!”

“Sure!”

You look over to the upset dream walker. “Hoseok, please, understand…”

But Hoseok did not want to understand, and he did not want to let you go now. Those dreams he had with you, created a connection so deep, he felt himself tied with you. How could you not see it? How could you pretend you weren’t as wrapped around him as he was to you?

-

“See!”

“Okay…”

“Okay, okay, I wasn’t lying. Right, Jimin?”

“It is compelling evidence, Namjoon,” the sleep specialist reasons.

“What do you want me to say?” Namjoon says, “Great for you, you spent the last year with a man who almost killed you and now you became best friends?”

You swallow your hurt down at his harsh demeanor. “I-I just wanted to show you I wasn’t lying.”

“Okay, so what now?” Namjoon stares at you, his usual warm and caring demeanor now cold and closed off. “You won’t tell the police the truth, you won’t press charges even though he deserves it, and you still won’t talk to me about what happened in your dreams...you weren’t in your room when I came this morning,” Namjoon swallows, “Were you with him, y/n?”

“I-no-yes-” you stutter. But Jimin’s expression told all Namjoon needed to hear

Namjoon rubs his temples, laughing bitterly. “I was prepared for you not to remember me, you know…the doctors warned me there was a strong possibility you would have amnesia, I thought I could handle it, I was prepared for it.”

He holds your hand, your presence still comforting to him, calming him down. “I was ready for it, I told myself if that’s the worst case, I could handle it. I would make you remember, I would just make you fall in love with me again,” he says, his dimples peeking through from his forlorn smile. “Y/n…do you still love me?”

You try not to cry, you loved him of course, you loved him. You loved-

“Joon…”

---

“I set them up, you just have to knock them down!” Jimin winks, meeting you back stage. He’s dressed in an elegant dark suit, a far cry from his white starched clinic jacket.

“Ugh, why do I have to do this?” you whine, “You and Hobi are way better at being in the spotlight.”

“You’re the one who wrote the book,” Jimin laughs. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“Yeah she does, now go away,” Hoseok frowns, crossing his arms. He is wearing a casual suit, staying backstage for you.

You flick him on the forehead, going back to nervously patting your dress down. “Don’t start!”

Eventually, you left the hospital, eventually you moved into your own place, and eventually you wrote a book of everything that happened to you. Hoseok encouraged you, and he became your editor in that way, helping you navigate the details every night, lounging around together until you got it right.

The book was a love story, or perhaps a horror story, you still couldn’t decide the answer when press asked you. Your book developed a cult following. With Jimin’s testimony in the epilogue and your evidence coming into question over and over again, readers in online forums constantly debated whether your story was fact or fiction.

Jimin’s career took a turn as he focused on research papers dedicated to what Hoseok and you claimed, and the good looking sleep specialist began to make public appearances on the hot topic. Your book become popular, so popular you and Jimin ended up as special guests on a late night show.

“Welcome, y/n. We spoke with Mr. Park before the break. Now the character in your book, Jimin, was based off of him, correct?”

“W-Well, it was him, yes,” you laugh nervously, looking over to the intrigued audience.

“Ahh let’s talk about that! So, in your epilogue you wrote how this was all based on your real life. You were in a coma for almost a year, correct?”

“Yes, that’s right. It all feels so crazy to me now,” you laugh.

“How do you feel about all the trends online, people trying to enter Dream World consciously?”

“It’s something I never dreamed of happening.”

The crowd laughs.

“Honestly, I am just happy I got to tell my story. The response...it has been life changing.”

“I can imagine. Your first book becoming a best seller, wow. Have you ever asked yourself, what if you're still dreaming?” he jokes and the audience laughs. You laugh too, smoothing down your dress.

“A dream, ha, funny.” you laugh to yourself...until you stop, biting on your lip to calm yourself down.

“T-That was a joke.” The late night show host exclaims, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. He makes a funny face to the audience and they laugh along.

“Of course, why would this be a dream?” you laugh, looking across the audience, faceless in the shadows, the bright lights aimed at the stage made their bodies look alien.

“Why would this be a dream?” you repeat, “I just ended up on my favorite late show after making millions off a book I wrote...w-why wouldn’t that happen to me in real life? I’m not dreaming...I’m...” you ring your hands together, looking around the room. How did you get here? You were driven here. That's it. Did it always look like this? Did you always feel like this? You try not to hyperventilate.

“It was just a joke, I swear.” The late night host lets his boisterous tone soften to speak to you, worrying over your reaction. “Of course this is not a dream!” he says, trying to soothe your panicky state and salvage the live interview. “Let’s take a break...commercial?” He looks over to the show runner for guidance.

“H-Hoseok!” you yell out, standing up, hands over your face.

Hoseok runs from behind the stage, coming to your side. He holds your shoulders, rubbing up and down. “Y/n, it’s not a dream, okay? We’re not dreaming anymore.”

“How do you know?!” You cry, body shaking. It’s a dream, it’s a dream. “Why would he say that? Why would he say that this is a dream, Hobi?” you wail. The host looks shocked, guilt and worry across his features. “It’s a dream,” you say with confidence, tears rolling down your face.

Hoseok looks around for Jimin, for help, staff is trying to console you. The crowd is talking amongst themselves, getting louder and louder. The host is speaking to the show runner, getting angrier, exclaiming it’s not his fault! How was he to know this was how you would react!

Hoseok looks into your terrified eyes, and for one small moment, he questions himself too. Was this a dream? What was reality anymore?

“If it’s a dream, then-” he grabs the talk show host’s mug, slamming it onto the stage floor. The crowd gasps, the staff is scrambling behind the scenes, calling for security, the talk show host is frantically apologizing. “-then we'll just wake up again,” he says, picking up to shards. This has been the only way last time, it would surely work again.

“No! Can someone help?!” The talk show host calls for security one more time, the crowd is standing up, half of the audience pulling out their phones to record, the other half scrambling to the exit, “I don’t know what to fucking do!”

The stage hands try to pull you and Hoseok away from each other, but your grip is too strong, your palm clenches the broken piece of ceramic until you’re bleeding. Hoseok nods to you, holding the shard against his wrist and you nod back.

“Wake up!”

[shipsandlattes]

So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already. 

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long. 

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold. 

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean​ and @inacatastrophicmind​! 

[princehrry-writings]

Daddy?

happy Easter if you celebrate it!! I've been working on this for a couple weeks!! It's the longest one-shot I think I've ever written.

word count: 5180

please please please flood my inbox with your thoughts and comments!! i want to know what you think!!!

warnings: some swearing (i think), absent birth father, single mom, nothing too serious.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her.

or

Y/n is a single mom and Harry wants to be a part of the family.

.

.

.

Getting pregnant was definitely not something Y/n wanted to be doing at 20 years old. She had a boyfriend and the career of her dreams but as soon as the news broke, one of those things was no longer true. Her ex skipped town faster than she could even finish telling him she was pregnant, so Y/n was left to her own devices since her family was so far away.

She was a songwriter. She had worked with all the big names in the industry from Taylor Swift to All Time Low. She was known for being able to write in any genre, that’s what set her apart and why people were clawing at the chance to work with her.

And then she got pregnant. She kept writing songs until she was eight and a half months along but due to minor complications, her doctor had ordered her to stay home. So she did. She stayed home, had the baby, and raised her all by herself. Now that baby, whose name is Stella, is four years old and is traveling the world with her mom. Y/n had gone back to work when Stella was a year old. At first, she would leave her baby with a sitter, but eventually, she got to a point where Stella was old enough to come along to writing sessions and quietly color or play with toys in a corner. She really liked going to work with her mom. She got to see a bunch of cool places and meet a lot of nice people.

And one of those people was Harry Styles. Y/n had met him a few times back when he was with One Direction, had even tried to work with the band a few times but things never lined up right. But now he was making his second studio album and only wanted the best of the best to write with him so naturally, he called Y/n. Harry knew she had a kid but he didn’t expect her to bring said kid to a writing session. Harry didn’t really mind- he loves kids, but his friends had been known to curse a lot and he didn’t want to cause any harm to the child.

He made sure to give everyone a stern talking to, even though Kid already knew to hold his tongue (his little ones had repeated some colorful words a few times). He wanted everything to go right, needed it to. Y/n was more than just another songwriter.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you could make it!” Harry smiled as she walked into the studio. She smiled back, walking into his open arms for a hug.

“Thank you so much for having me, I’m super stoked to be working with you!” She said, slightly muffled by his neck. Harry looked down behind Y/n and saw a little girl that looked exactly like the woman currently in his arms looking right back up at him. When the two pulled away Harry was quick to kneel down to her height.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her. Although he wasn’t mad, he understood Y/n had to teach her not to say things like that even if they were funny.

When Stella had settled at a table out of the way of the adults in the room with her coloring book and a juice box, the work began. Y/n and Harry sat at a piano bench ( he hoped she couldn’t hear his pounding heart) while Kid and Mitch, along with Jeff, sat scattered around the other furniture in the studio.

“So, I have a couple of ideas that I’ve been sitting on that I think you might like. You can look through this and see if there's something that catches your eye.” Y/n said, handing Harry a notebook. She tried to ignore the tingle she felt run up her arm when their fingers brushed. He flipped around the pages, noticing random little doodles in the corners and in between lines, and the somewhat messy but readable handwriting. He thought it was cute how she connected her s’s to her t’s and k’s when she wrote.

One page, in particular, caught his attention.

Golden, Golden, Golden

As I open my eyes

Hold it, focus

So you take me back to the light

I know you were way too bright for me

I’m hopeless, broken

So you wait for me in the sky

Brown my skin just right

“Is this a verse or a chorus?” He asked, pointing it out to her. She shrugged saying she didn’t really know yet but it would probably be a verse.

“I like it a lot,” He said and she smiled, picking up her guitar and strumming it to the tune she had thought of for the words. He listened and nodded along, already getting ideas for where to go next.

“I like the golden thing. I think that could be a good hook, something like we’re so golden,” Kid spoke up, tapping his fingers along to what she was playing.

“Or you’re so golden,” Mitch suggested. Harry and Y/n’s eyes widened at the same time, both looking up at each other when they heard the line.

“You’re so golden, you’re so golden…” Y/n hummed.

“I’m out of my head, and I know what you said about hearts get broken,”

“How about I’m out of my head and I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken,”

“I like that better, yeah!” Harry smiled, nodding along to the beat.

Y/n looked over 30 minutes later to see Stella had sprawled out on the floor with her arms folded beneath her head, first finger stuck into her mouth, and she smiled, breathing out a laugh.

“She’s so precious,” Harry murmured from beside you. Your gaze found his and the smile on your face widened a little bit.

“She is, isn’t she.” She said, pride present in her eyes.

“Looks just like you as well,”

“Yeah thank god, I don’t know what I would have done if she had ended up looking like her sperm donor,” Malice dripped from the end of her phrase. Y/n couldn’t even entertain the idea of her looking like the man who helped create her. That nerve was still a little raw, not because she had any remaining feelings, but because he had abandoned not only her but the beautiful baby girl who was napping not 15 feet away from her. She figured they were better off without him, yet her heart always shattered a little when Stella asked if she had a daddy like the people she sees on tv.

“I couldn’t imagine finding out the woman I loved was pregnant and then leaving her, any real man would have stayed.” His eyes were genuine, which she appreciated. Most people would say they felt sorry for her, pity dripping from their gaze, but she didn’t need pity, didn’t need people to feel sorry for her. But what Harry said was out of pity, he just honestly couldn’t understand how anyone would abandon a child.

“Yeah well, I guess I just wasn’t the woman he loved.” She said, looking back at her baby. Stella made all of that pain from when he disappeared worth it.

Harry wanted to be able to take that pain away.

---

“Hey I know it’s late, but I have this idea and I want you to hear it,” Harry’s raspy voice chimed through the speaker of Y/n’s phone. She glanced at the time, reading 1:30 AM, and sighed.

“Ok,”

“Come open the door,” He said.

“Wait what? You’re here?”

“Yeah, come on. It’s cold out here.”

“Ugh, hold on,” The woman sighed, hanging up and tip-toeing out of her room so her footsteps wouldn’t wake the sleeping four-year-old in the next room over. Her door was open and she was a light sleeper.

The door swung open and Harry stood there with a small smile on his face, burrowing as deep into his coat as he could to shield himself from the cold air outside.

“Hi!” His cheeky smile made Y/n’s heart flutter.

This was the first of many times he would show up at her place in the middle of the night.

---

Another night of Harry coming over late with a song idea he couldn’t wait to show Y/n, although now it was more he would come over after Stella fell asleep and the two would watch movies and talk, and sometimes write songs (even though the album was done).

The pair were perched on the couch in a heated conversation about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza (it does and that is a fact not an opinion) when the sound of little footsteps caught their attention. They both looked up from where they sat at the sound of loud crying coming down the stairs, seeing a small child with tears barreling down her face, cheeks flush an angry red, first finger stuck in her mouth, teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Y/n cooed, getting up and sweeping her into her arms. She went and sat back down on the couch, cradling the baby to her chest, brushing her hair out of her face, and rocking her back and forth.

“Scawwy dweam mommy,” She hiccuped into her mom’s neck, where she hid her face. Her tiny hands clutched onto her shirt, finger stick tucked between her lips.

Harry held back a coo at the little girl, feeling himself fall further and further for the little family of two sitting before him. He hadn’t been able to take his mind off of them since that first day he met Stella. He’d always had a schoolboy crush on Y/n since they first met all those years ago but knew it was one-sided when she introduced her boyfriend one of the last times they had seen each other. As fate would have it though, they found their way back to each other. Neither of them could deny the feelings they held, but Y/n was scared to bring someone into the picture because she didn’t want Stella to get attached to someone who wouldn’t be permanent. She was lucky her ex left before he ever got the chance to meet Stella, the kid had no clue what she was missing, therefore didn’t have any pain due to her absent father.

She would be lying if she said she didn’t imagine Harry stepping into that role. But she couldn’t ask that of him. He was at a time in his career where he didn’t have time to be the father of a four year old.

But life is full of surprises.

“Hawwy.” The baby whimpered and crawled off of Y/n’s chest, into his lap and snuggled her head right into him like it was where she was meant to be all along. His heart just about burst when the little girl fisted his shirt, tucking herself into him. His arms instinctively wrapped around her, cradling her into him and rocking her back and forth like her mother had been only moments ago.

Stella calms down almost immediately, to Y/n’s surprise. It usually takes her a while to console her baby from bad dreams, but all Harry had to do was hold her, and boom, no more tears.

“You alright petal?” He cooed into her hair, soothing his hand up and down her back to keep her calm. She nodded, letting out a huge yawn and closing her eyes, falling back asleep in his arms.

Y/n was astonished. Stella had never fallen asleep on anyone but her mom or her grandmother. She’s known Harry for a few months and was acting like he’d been there her whole life.

“Wow… she loves you.” Y/n whispered, not really meaning for him to hear but he did and his smile gave her the impression that he loved her too. But Stella wasn’t the only one he felt such affections for.

“Y/n....” He starts after a moment of silence, “I know this sounds crazy because we’ve only truly known each other for a few months… but I’ve had feelings for you for years. I missed my opportunity when you got with your ex but I’m here now, and I love you, and I love Stella, and I would do anything to stay in both of your lives if you’d have me. I want to be here for you, and I want to be here for her as well.” His confession shocked the woman sitting across from him.

Y/n was quiet, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought while she took in what he was saying. Trying her best to keep her fantasies of playing house with him at bay, she spoke.

“Harry, as much as all of that sounds lovely, you’re about to start press for the album and then go on tour. You’re not gonna have time to be in a relationship, and as much as I wish I could just jump into something like that, I can’t. I have her to think about…” She gestured to the toddler sleeping on him.

“She needs consistency, her life is already hectic enough.”

“So come with me!” He spouted, and then retracted a bit realizing he could wake Stella up.

“What?”

“Come with me! You two travel around already, so come on the press tour with me and then come on the big tour with me! I know this sounds impulsive and it’s probably the craziest thing I’ve ever said in my life ever, but I’ve never been more sure of anything. I know what I want Y/n, and that’s to be a part of this family. I want to be a part of your lives!”

“Harry, I-”

“Please Y/n. Give me a chance! I won’t let you down!” The gleam in his eyes shows her that he’s serious. He really does want this. Harry just hopes that Y/n can see just how willing he is, how much it would mean to him to have (what he already affectionately considers to be) his girls with him on tour.

It’s quiet, only sounds of Stella’s even breaths and the light noise of her sucking on her finger fill the room. Eventually, Y/n gathers her thoughts, mind made up.

“We’ll try it out… see how it goes….” She said, releasing a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding on to. Harry’s smile grew tenfold at her confession, reaching over and bringing her face closer to his to kiss her lips, careful not to wake the baby in his arms.

He had never been happier, Harry decides, than he is right now.

---

“Hawwy?” Stella’s voice catches Y/n’s attention from where she sits on the plane, in between her and Harry. She turns her little head to the man sitting in the aisle seat, big round eyes staring right into his.

“What is it, lovebug?” He asks, pushing her wild baby hairs away from her eyes. Y/n did her very best not to coo at the two of them. Harry had fallen perfectly into step with the mother and daughter, like this duo had been a trio all along. She was still hesitant to think of him as a father figure for Stella though, just because if things went south somehow, she didn’t want her baby suffering a loss like that (a second time).

Stella’s little fists rubbed at her tired eyes. She let out a small ‘hmph’ and laid her head on Harry’s arm, wrapping her own little arms around his.

“Awe you my daddy?” She asked and Y/n choked on her spit, looking back over at the toddler.

“Stella, baby-”

“I would love to be your daddy lovebug, but that’s not really up to me…” He spoke and glanced up at Y/n quickly, trepidation clear in his eyes. Harry was afraid he might overstep. Sure he knew that things were still new between him and Y/n but he wanted nothing more than for Stella to think of him as her dad.

“Who’s it up to?” Y/n could tell she was about to fall asleep but was fighting it in order to get her answers. She had adjusted to a more fast pace schedule quite nicely. She slept through most plane and car rides and absolutely loved being backstage at concerts. Harry thought she looked so adorable with her big noise-canceling headphones on. They had been on the road for a few months now, and it had been 8 months since Y/n decided to give him a chance.

“It’s up to mummy, baby.” He answered, his fingers tangling into his chestnut curls in a futile attempt to keep them out of his face.

Stella’s head immediately whipped to look at her mom, who sat frozen in her seat, not knowing what to do.

“Mommy, is Hawwy my daddy?” She repeated her question. Y/n had a feeling that Stella thought Harry was her real dad, the one that her mom didn’t like to talk about. She had to make sure there was no confusion.

“Not like you're thinking he is, baby. He’s not your birth dad, he didn’t help mommy make you, but if you want him to be your daddy, then that’s ok with me.” Y/n locked eyes with the man sitting across from her with a smile on his face. She was glad that they were flying private because she really didn’t need anyone ruining this moment for them. All her fears of this not working out felt stupid now.

How could she ever think that things with Harry wouldn’t work out? He was right where he belonged.

---

“Daddy!”

“Baby!” Harry knelt down to catch the running (almost) 5 year old, picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. They were in England for two weeks on tour. One for shows, and one so that Y/n and Stella could meet Harry’s mom and sister for the first time as a part of the family. Y/n had met them before as “a friend of Harry’s” many years ago, but they had never met her as Harry’s girlfriend, and they hadn’t met Stella.

Currently, Harry was in the middle of a show and Stella had just escaped her mothers arms side stage in favor of running to her dad. Y/n still couldn’t get over saying that. Harry is Stella’s dad. She doesn’t think that will ever get old.

No one knew how serious the relationship between Y/n and Harry was. The public knew they were together (after a very vague post on instagram of the mother/daughter duo napping with the caption “my girls”). Many people thought this was a PR stunt, just because it was so unlike Harry to post something like that. But he had actually confirmed in an interview that, yes, he was in a relationship with the songwriter and it was pretty serious. That was all he chose to say, in favor of keeping his secrecy, as he so famously loves to do.

What came as a shock to the audience was what the child had called Harry. They all knew about Stella, obviously, but no one would have thought that this child would think of him as her father. A lot of people didn’t like thinking about Harry being a father.

“What are you doing out here baby?” He said into her ear, making sure he could hear her over the loud noise of the audience. Most of them loved getting glimpses into his life, so the crowd was excited to see Stella out on stage and many thought it was adorable that she already thought of him as her dad.

“Missed you.” She said into his neck. The microphone had somehow picked up their little exchange and the whole crowd sighed a collective “awe” when she said that. She was perched on his hip with her little arms wrapped around his neck, her favorite place if she had to choose one. She was pretty small for a 4-year-old, most people usually thought she was younger.

Harry chuckled and saw Y/n standing there with a smile on her face. Mitch was giggling at the exchange and kept glancing back at Sarah with a knowing look of “That’s going to be us soon,” written on his face.

“I missed you too lovebug, but I’m in the middle of a show! I gotta send you back to mumma.” He said. Stella didn’t like that though, because as soon as the words left his lips she was clinging to him like he was her life force and the tears began streaming down her face. She didn’t like having to share her daddy. She just wanted to be held by him right now, and she’d be damned if she got anything but her way.

This amused everyone, the child's insistence to be in her father's arms, so he sighed and bent to her will because how could he say no to his baby girl?

So he walked over to her mom and got her headphones, slipping them on her, and walked back to his microphone with her on his hip, ready to start the next song.

“Harry and Stella” was trending on twitter the very next morning. No one could get enough of the father-daughter duo.

---

Y/n hadn’t been this nervous since she was about to give birth to Stella. She stood with her baby in her arms as Harry opened the door to his childhood home, announcing to his mom and sister that they were there. She had to wipe her sweaty palms on her jeans more than once.

Anne rushed out from wherever she had been, greeting the three of them. Stella had met Anne via FaceTime many times so it was not news to her (or Gemma) that Harry had stepped into the role of Stella’s father. She will admit she was surprised at first but then she was reminded that Harry had been in their lives for almost a year before Stella had asked the question. It wasn’t something that was rushed into.

Anne was very excited to be meeting her grandbaby and was very excited to meet the girl that had made her a grandmother.

Stella got shy, not being used to seeing “Nana” in person. Gemma had emerged from her spot in the kitchen as well, greeting everyone.

“Hello, my loves! How was the trip?” Anne said, kissing both of them on the cheek, her hand gently caressing the child's cheek in an attempt to get her out of her shell. Once she realized that this was her Nana that was standing before her, Stella reached out for Anne, silently asking to be held by her. Anne jumped at the chance, sweeping the baby into her arms and giving her a big hug, kissing her on the forehead multiple times, not being able to quell her affection for her first grandchild.

“It was good mum, Stell slept the whole way and traffic was pretty light,” Harry said, slipping his hand into his girlfriend’s, brushing his thumb back and forth trying to help calm her anxieties. For whatever reason, Y/n was worried that Gemma and Anne wouldn’t like her because she had come into their son/brother's life with a child, but it was clear that the two ladies loved the idea of Harry being Stella’s father.

“Oh, that's lovely!” She smiled, cuddling Stella impossibly closer to her. Y/n felt most of her worries melt away seeing the woman with her baby.

She felt silly for thinking Anne would be anything but happy.

---

Anne would not put Stella down for anything. The two were attached at the hip every waking second. Y/n was actually starting to miss her baby, but she appreciated getting to spend time with Harry without having to keep an eye on their little one. Gemma was absolutely smitten with Stella as well. She was very excited to be “Auntie Gem” as Stella had quickly adapted to calling her. Stella was very happy as well. She had never been around so much family in her whole life. She’d been so used to just her and her mom, and then just them and Harry, but now she had two whole grandma’s all to herself and an auntie she gets to call her own, something she never knew she was missing, that Y/n never thought her baby would get to have.

Harry was so happy to see his baby with Anne and Gemma. They had been bumped to spot number 3 and 4 on his favorite girl list, with Stella and Y/n taking spots 1 and 2. They didn’t mind one bit.

“Daddy, can we watch a movie?” Stella jumped up onto his lap as he and Y/n sat on the couch, just talking and enjoying each other's company. Y/n smiled at the girl, tightening her grip around Harry’s shoulders, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“Of course we can lovebug! Go get Nana and auntie Gem and we’ll all pick one out together!” He replied, petting her wild baby hairs out of her eyes just like he always did.

“Auntie Gemma said to ask you if we could watch…” She paused for a second, her little finger tapping on her chin like she couldn’t remember what she was gonna say. Suddenly, she was up and running back to the hallway she had just come from. Y/n and Harry heard little whispers before she came running back out and plopped back onto Harry’s lap, on ‘oof’ erupting from him.

“This Is Us!” She finally said. Harry’s face dropped as he looked behind them to see Gemma standing there, trying to hold back her laughter. Y/n just started cackling and Stella was giggling even though she had no idea what was going on.

“Daddy’s in that movie baby,” Y/n finally calmed down enough to say to her daughter. The little one’s eyes lit up, her hands clasped underneath her chin. This was what she did when she wanted her daddy to say yes to her because she knew he couldn’t resist how adorable she was.

“Please please please!!!!!!” She whined, leaning in to place her forehead against Harry’s. She knew exactly how to get him. He caved every single time.

“Yeah, fine. We can watch it!” He finally said and all three girls cheered. Anne came in at the noise wondering what was going on.

“What’s all this?” She asked and Stella ran up to her, pulling on her

“We watching Daddy’s movie Nana!” She said, jumping up and down with a glowing beam on her face.

“Oh, are we now? Which one?” Anne asked and Stella paused.

“Daddy, how many movies awe you in?” She came back and crawled into his lap. She still had trouble saying her r’s. Her and Harry were working on it.

“Two, lovebug. But one of them you can’t watch until you’re older. It’s too scary f’you.” He said, cuddling his baby into his chest. She put on a little pout hearing that. She didn’t like when her daddy told her no, but this was something he wasn’t gonna budge on.

“Ok,” She sighed. All the adults thought this was adorable.

So they all settled in and watched the movie. Harry had a permanent blush on his face and Stella would jump up and down every time he was on the screen.

“Nana look!! That’s you!!” Anne laughed and nodded to her granddaughter.

“Yes, it is baby!”

“Mommy, why aren’t you in this movie?” She asked and everyone giggled.

“Me and Daddy didn’t know each other very well back then, baby.” Y/n laughed. Stella didn’t really understand but she didn’t say anything else.

The last few days had worn her out and that became very obvious when Harry looked down and saw his baby asleep on his chest, her first finger stuck in her mouth just like it always was when she fell asleep.

“Love, I’m gonna go lay her down, and then I’ll be right back,” Harry whispered, cradling the sleeping girl in his arms and slowly standing up. Y/n nodded, kissing his cheek before he left.

“He’s so good with her!” Gemma cooed, her face lighting up seeing her brother with his kid. A sight she was still kind of getting used to seeing.

“He really is…” Y/n smiled, “It was pretty instant too. Anytime he’d come over and she was still awake, he’d insist on putting her to bed, reading to her, singing to her, he’d bring her toys. She’s had him wrapped around her little finger since he first laid eyes on her.”

“That’s so precious,” Anne spoke up, coming to sit next to her, wrapping Y/n in her warm embrace.

“I can’t wait until you two get married!” Y/n laughed at Gemma’s confession, snuggling into Anne.

“All he has to do is ask, I’m ready to say yes!” What none of the girls knew was that Harry was standing right outside the living room, hearing everything that was being said. His mind raced back to his suitcase where a velvet box sat tucked away between all of his clothes.

He was hesitant to bring the idea up because it had only been a year, but the saying when you know, you know he thought.

He came back into the living room, acting none the wiser, sitting on the other side of the girl he was going to marry (she just didn’t know it yet), and cuddled into her just as she had cuddled into his mom.

“Daddy,” A small voice broke through the now quiet hum of the tv.

“Lovebug, what are you doing back up?” He asked, lifting the sleepy little thing into his lap.

“Scawwy dweam, daddy.” She said and he pouted, pulling her closer into his chest and snuggling her back to sleep.

Harry was exactly where he belonged in life. With his baby girl in his arms, and his Love by his side.