#said as I posted this while charging

[luckylsoer]

It's the end of the year (23.46 at the time of posting), so have this picture of Senna charging herself!

She needs about 8 hours of charging everyday, and can go 25 hours maximum when fully charged.

Wish you all a Happy New Year from this corner of the world!!🎉

[skillzissue]

He has some explaining to do and unfinished grieving to understand

Thinking about them,,,thinking about them,,,,thinking about them,,,,,thinking about them,,, tHINKING ABOUT THEM-

SOBS SO HARD

[strawberrybabydog]

for me, some level of trauma related to being the least-favourite child is directly related to playing videogames and boredom

growing up my younger sister got handed the SNES controller and i didnt. she played with my parents and by herself and i watched but didnt play. sometimes this was because i wasnt allowed and other times i thought it was a choice, even though, my choice was because i didnt know how to play and if i asked my mom would have said "really? you want me to start a whole new save file JUST for you?" and i would have quietly said nevermind, and remembered not to ask ever again

when we got a wii, for my sister's birthday she got 2 wii games. for my birthday i got decorations even though i was too young to understand what a decoration is and i just tried playing with them (emphasis on try). sometimes i would come home from school and my sister would have a random gift (something i never got) - another wii game! because it was on sale at blockbuster, and oh sorry Luna, we didnt get anything for you because they didnt have anything you would like.

by the end of our wii, i had 1 wii game that was mine - i chose whenever i wanted to play it, for how long, and if anyone else wanted to play it they had to ask. that was the rules, because it was mine. my younger sister has 11 wii games.

when i was in middle school, i was not allowed to get a better (real) console. it was too expensive. plus, we have the wii, it works perfectly fine, just play on that. m...my one game? that i've been playing since i was 9? that i've 100%'d 5 times? yes.

when i was in highschool i wasnt allowed to have money, especially not to spend online. "luckily" i met an internet friend who was a hacker and sold what he claimed to be abandoned steam accounts. he gave me one for free. i played stardew valley and oblivion religiously, because my laptop was built in 2010 and could barely handle the lowest graphics settings of a game several years older than it. it ended up getting double-hacked so after a year of using it, i once again had no more videogames

now im an adult and i just... cant play videogames. basically none of them. after abut 30 minutes of playing i get so anxious that i have to stop. i havent played stardew valley in about 2 years, my favourite game of all time that i used to stay up until 8am playing.

the game loads, and im anxious because i forget the controls. i walk up to an npc and get anxious because if i dont pick the perfect dialogue tree, im failing myself by not being perfect, so i'll pause the game and go on my phone for 10 minutes to find the answer (i HATE doing this.) i approach a puzzle and im anxious because what if im not smart enough to solve it and i fail again? i need to check if anyone's in the room with me now because if anyone is watching me play they'll know i'm a failure too so i should stop playing. but, videogames are communal (they must be,) i have only ever experienced playing them with someone else there (watching sibling/parents play, watching youtube letsplays) but if someone else sees me fail i'm the worst person ever. and i mean, realistically, how do you even play a videogame for more than 1 hour? how do focus on 1 thing for that long? sounds fake to me

but... i want to play videogames. i know they're experiences. and i want to have experiences. especially because as a disabled person my only other option is youtube. so if i'm not playing videogames, i'm bored out of my skull laying in bed, doing nothing, staring at my youtube screen watching the exact same video essay for the 6th or 7th time this week because the algorythm's only other choice is "perfect damascus steel knife blade DIY"

other than youtube, what am i supposed to do? i cant play videogames - i'm not perfect at them, i cant focus, and i just dont deserve them. there is nothing else.

[seithr]

something about fem characters getting masc titles does something insane to me. emperor and sir and my lord and master. ough flavour

[panharmonium]

this is funny because literally the only thing sasuke does for the entirety of the story is let himself be used as a pawn by every manipulative man he has the misfortune to meet

[thewingedwolf]

my opinion, like many in the fandom, is that Buck has always been a little bi coded, and I think handling it like the way abc handled Rosa Diaz being bi, by simply having Buck drop some information he’s always known about himself but never been comfortable sharing, would be a decent way of handling it. for one thing, having both buck and eddie go through a gay panic thing would be a lot for one season, and maybe a bit repetitive, and I think it would be perfectly in character, while adding a really lovely layer to Maddie & Buck’s relationship, that Maddie has always known Buck was bisexual, and has attempted (maybe awkwardly) over the years to get Buck to be more comfortable with it. I also think it would add a really wonderful layer to Buck and Chim’s relationship (again, to make the b99 comparison bc this is a textbook “if i had a nickel for every time a beloved, diverse show involving police officers got canceled by fox and picked up by ABC bc beloved diverse shows with a really active fan base are their bread and butter i’d have two nickels” situation lol), the same way it was a natural & moving way to have the first person Rosa came out to be Charles, if Chim finds out because Buck needs to talk to Maddie about how he and Eddie had a stress induced make out on Eddie’s couch and then Eddie had a panic attack over being gay, and Chim is there trying to connect the dots of this conversation & be supportive bc Buck is anxiously mumbling while bear hugging Jee in his kitchen. And “Buck has been bisexual the entire time” leaking out to the rest of the 118 has a lot of potential; we know they’re all gossipy & nosy about each other, and Chim is terrible at keeping important secrets, so Hen & Bobby piecing it together from Buck‘s sudden interest in LA Gay Culture & Chim’s nervous stuttering, while Ravi is like “happy that you’re comfortable enough to come out to me Buck but again, i do not need to know this much detail about your personal life” all of this just seems like a very natural, easy way of getting Buck to come out.

and that leaves the Gay Panic storyline to Eddie, lmao. because whether they decide to go with the common fandom idea of “eddie is gay but due to being a really macho dude from Texas, born into a family of very typically ‘we will always love you no matter if you’re straight or choose to be gay’ esque family, has been heavy repressing it all these years” or they decide to make him bisexual, it’s clear that Eddie’s continued wild misses at dating women, panic attacks over the idea of being with a woman, and naming another man as the caretaker of his child in case he dies, that Eddie is primed to have an absolute break down if he ever comes out. Is it very similar to Carlos’ story? Yeah, obviously, but they’re incredibly different people, and more than that, the type of family they come from is incredibly common in this day and age, and whereas we’ve seen the fallout of all the shame that comes with feeling like your parents love isn’t unconditional wrt Carlos, we never saw the initial, badly handled coming out that prompted this break in the Reyes family, and we would be seeing that with Eddie and the Diaz family! not only that, but we have Hen & Toni there to help Eddie (and his parents & pepa & abuelita) through it, to help them handle what are bound to be difficult conversations on Eddie’s history of dating women his family will like that he has minimal interest in, and what happens now that Eddie is once again testing the unconditional aspect of his family’s love.

And that’s not even touching The Bobby And Athena Of It All, from Bobby once again relating to Eddie’s struggles of “what do you do when you feel like the core of who you are has shifted and everyone else is standing still” to Athena having intimate knowledge of the effect of coming out late in life, after you’ve lived a whole life as an ostensibly heterosexual man. We could get a really touching scene between Bobby & Athena and Buck, discussing how this is something he’s always known but it’s just been easier to let it go unsaid even if he knew Bobby and the rest of the 118 would be loving and supportive if he ever came out. Imagine the jokes re: Buck, Eddie, AND Hen being the messiest gays in LA while Ravi is begging them to Say Less.

I think the storyline potential of “Buck and Eddie impulsively make out after a stressful call in ep 1 and then skirt around their feelings for at least half a season” can be really rich, and also kind of in line for how abc has handled a character who got popular for being bi coded, and I’m not saying i trust them to not be cowards about it, but I am saying they shouldn’t be cowards about it.

[medicinemane]

"Highly respected individuals including henry kissanger..." well I gotta stop you right there, you've got a major inaccuracy cause no one in their right mind respects that man

[jeysbvck]

oh tony khan can fuck off honestly.

yes wwe is not perfect & has its own shit & accusations, but to go on national tv & call wwe "the harvey weinstein of pro wrestling" when chris jericho, ric flair & a number of other people with accusations (including one person who a few years ago said he'd rape mercedes) is really disgusting & truly tasteless. especially with the news about harvey weinstein in the past couple of days.

[transsweet]

you guys will never believe what movie was JUST starting when i boarded the plane home

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

ohhhhhh my god my lead actress's big brown eyes...... girl you're killing me......

[romanticoutcast]

thinking about the rare situation where tom isn’t able to speak for himself, and huck and aunt polly are left to deal with this, and stuck in this very silent battle of who knows tom’s wants and needs better, who loves him more, who is more dedicated to him, etc.

[frozenemus]

Just finished Metroid Prime Remastered! It was super fucking good and I can absolutely see myself doing another play through in the future.

The graphics look super polished and the soundtrack is a banger (totally gonna have to steal it for my personal collection).

I do have like, two smaller issues with the game though. Personally I’m not a fan of how certain scannable entities that you need to acquire for a 100% file disappear after certain points of the game. At the very least I wish that factor was disclosed early in the game because now I have to start a new save file :/

[funshinebf]

i didnt end up drawing nor reading instead ive been watching videos of people throwing cars off of cliffs and dropping anvills off of a dam onto objects

[radellama]

Hey, I saw the Finnster post you reblogged about people hating Finnster and how that's dumb. I admit for the reasons the post listed about why people hate Finnster, that is dumb. But more than anything what I've seen as mutuals, trans folks, and gnc folks complaining about re: Finnster is that people - cis men, gnc men, enby folks, and trans folks - have ALREADY been dressing like that, for ages. But it took a conventionally attractive, thin, white man who has the social excuse of "its for fun" "for money" "for the joke" for people to hide behind. Finnster himself isn't at fault - it's the rush of people going "wow, Finnster is changing the world's viewpoint on femboys and gnc men, holy cow, maybe this is normal" who simultaneously mock and are disgusted by visibly trans women, fat nonbinary people, gnc folks of color, etc etc etc. It's that Finnster, thru no fault of his own, has become the posterchild for gender nonconformity bc hes pretty skinny and white, and people fawning over him still can't give a fat hairy gnc person of color the time of day even if their and Finnster's outfits matched completely.

Sorry for the askbox rant! It's just that that post has been circulating pretty heavily and I think it's missing a lot of nuance. Most of us don't actually care what Finnster does - good on him for having fun, making money, and being gnc and cute! Hell yeah! But we do care about the erasure and glossing over it does to the community as people lift him up while putting down others.

Hey, I understand that as queer people who HAVE already been breaking the western gender binary, it can be annoying or upsetting to see someone like Finnster dressing the way he does when so many of our queer siblings are mocked and hurt for doing the same thing.

However, I don't see anyone claiming that he is the first or only person to play with gender presentation in the way he is. He might be the first point of exposure for a lot of sheltered cis/het people who haven't otherwise seen queer people, but that in no way implies he's the only person ever to do that. The post in question is a quick post with one reply about how it's silly to have rigid ideas of what gender should look like, and a screenshot showing that he's donated a significant amount of money to trans fundraisers. I never said anything else about it, the post itself doesn't, and I think you're bringing a lot of extra stuff to this.

They're understandable gripes, and I agree that it's a shame that there's still a long way to go for visibly gnc or trans individuals who don't fit some people's ideas of conventional attractiveness... But a short post is never going to have the nuance you're wanting, especially when these specific topics aren't the point of said post.

If you do want to start discussions about these topics, I'd recommend making your own post where you're free to go as in depth as you'd like.

[mariamlovesyou]

tuned into Plestia's live with Rahma Zein's second account (she got shadowbanned). key moments:

plestia talked about her adjustment to living in australia. "it's 1:30am now and it's normal for me and many palestinians who live abroad to be awake hours into the morning. i am scared of sleeping. because of the time difference, i'm scared if i sleep i will wake up to bad news. in gaza i was scared of the sound of the bombs, here i am scared of the quiet."

contacting family and friends in gaza is near impossible. "sometimes i feel like a crazy person, calling 20 times in a row hoping that on the 21st time the call might go through."

on the destruction of entire communities and neighbourhoods: "i'm scared when i go back to gaza i won't recognise it anymore. someone sent me a picture of my neighbourhood, and i couldn't tell it was mine at first. all my favourite places, cafes where the aunties used to give me extra food and ask about my day, have been destroyed. i dread looking at my gallery or seeing snapchat memories because most of these people in the pictures are no longer alive."

rahma asked plestia to talk about one story that stuck with her. plestia said "i remember walking one time on the 'safe corridor', that's what they called it anyway, and i saw an older woman clutching onto a donkey cart where her son's body was, refusing to let go of it. i asked my colleague what the smell was, he said it's dead bodies under the rubble. it was the first time i familiarised myself with the smell. the son's body was decaying and the woman told me about cats and animals eating away at it. i've had children talk to me about birds eating away at their parents' decomposing bodies and not being able to chase them away."

"it seems so silly to go to hospitals for minor sicknesses now. i can't even think about how many palestinian children are going to be terrified of hospitals now. there was a girl who was taken to the hospital to get treatment for injuries by one of the bombs, and while she was in the bathroom another bomb landed nearby. the impact from that sent the ceiling crashing down on her.. she got another injury while getting treated for her first one."

"i hate how people talk about our resilience - as if it's okay that this is happening to us. we are only surviving because we have to, because we have no other choice."

rahma brought up the way family homes are set up in palestine and asked plestia to elaborate. "basically, there are floors. someone will live on the ground floor, and then their married son lives with his children on the floor above them, and then their successors above them and so on. so when family homes are targeted, they wipe out entire families. many families officially no longer exist."

"i used to wear my journalist helmet and vest all the time, felt naked without it, even slept with the vest on sometimes until i realised it only made me more of a target. they didn't give me any protection, only headaches and back pain."

"i am an optimistic person, i loved covering sweet sentimental things, like at my graduation asking parents of top graduates how they feel about their children graduating. that's what i love reporting on. i wanted to cover things like that when i came back to gaza, show the beautiful side of gaza that the media didn't really show, but i didn't have the chance." "do you think they'll give you right of return?" "i can only hope."

plestia mentioned how hard it was being a journalist with limited access to the internet, charging facilities, no mics, lack of equipment and how difficult it was uploading things. rahma asked her what's one story that wasn't really recorded or posted due to these constraints; plestia said "the evacuations. sometimes they informed us about them, sometimes they didn't. you have no idea how hard it was, everyone looking for their family members, making sure every one was there, taking to the streets in 5 minutes and not knowing which way to go. i remember i went to my friend's house for shelter for 30 minutes before the first evacuation was announced and we ran to another family's house, stayed there for 2 days before another evacuation was announced. me, my friend, and that family all evacuated together to another family's house. there were already so many people there seeking shelter, it wasn't just one family staying there. none of us knew how long we had in any place."

before october 7th, palestinians were used to limitations on electricity. plestia used to plan her day's tasks around when the electricity was working. "for example when the electricity was on from 12 to 4, i would say i will do my laundry and charge the phones during this time. life wasn't exactly 'normal', but all of us pray to have those days back in comparison to what we are experiencing now." plestia also said that cars are running on cooking oil now because there is no fuel.

on hygiene: "many pregnant women have to give birth without any pain medication or medical attention. once we ran out of medicine, that was it. women who had to get C-sections couldn't stay to recover or get followup treatments because someone else needed the bed. we have no water, no tissues, no pads, barely any bathrooms. in the shelter schools you have to wait an hour before even getting to use the bathroom because of how many people are there."

"something you don't hear about is how many people die because of sadness. there's so many ways to die in gaza, because of the bombardment, because of starvation, the lack of resources, but i also know many elderly people who died because their hearts couldn't take it anymore. i have been in gaza before and lived through 4 aggressions, but nothing compared to this one."

a recurring sentiment that was echoed in the video: "sometimes i thought to myself: who am i recording this for? because we've already shown everything, we've already talked about everything. everything has already been said, the proof is everywhere, nothing i talked about today is new." rahma said the first video posted about what's happening in palestine should've been enough.

she is 22 today. plestia's closing words: don't stop talking about us, don't stop boycotting, don't stop protesting, please don't get bored of fighting for palestine.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.