#sakumo does stuff

[starlightmeissa]

i was looking through the fluffy clouds tag on your profile and you said seiko has an issue with seeing Minato and kushina for who they will be, and not who they ARE presently. Does this spread to other people? And if so, would kakashi and seiko's interactions be like

Sakumo (fresh dad, thought hiring team 7 was a good idea so he could rest):

Sakumo: ... Kakashi, what do you have???

Kakashi (1 years old [?]): a kunai

Sakumo: NO

Seiko (forgot about normal childhood milestones, only remembered that kakashi was a prodigy): ????

This is just a thought tho lol

Anyways thank you for writing fluffy clouds! It's really enjoyable to read and seeing more si/oc stories is nice <3

genuinely cannot wait to get to kakashi bc i already have some stuff planned for his and seiko's dynamic. seiko has a pretty good grasp of normal child development milestones, but she's def expecting kakashi to be faaaar ahead of everyone else.

something no one has thought of yet is uh. how i wonder will rule lover kakashi hatake react to seiko "bluntly saying they're murderers and intentionally obfuscating her skills to avoid graduating early like kakashi". food for thought!

[joltai-showa]

I've seen a comment from @hidansbabygirl regarding timeline stuff, so decided to share some things that I have regarding Hidan and what is known of him on the timeline of the events in Naruto

However, the start of Hidan's life corresponds with some pretty major things going on in the shinobi world, so we actually need to start elsewhere to establish some important facts regarding that, so, with that said, let's take a look at...

Kannabi bridge mission.

Surprising, I know. But Kannabi is very important for establishing when did the Third Shinobi World War ended and, presumably, started. It'll be obvious why this is important a bit later, so let's get into it.

It's actually pretty easy to ascertain the end of the TSWW thanks to the greatest guy to ever greatest guy in history - Obito. Obito is 30 during the events of Shippuden (I believe that the wiki and, likely, the databooks say that he's 31, however having kids in Kakashi's generation have different ages is way too annoying to keep track of + Obito by himself has a lot of events that involve literal fucking timetraveling, so for the sake of my sanity, everyone in Kakashi's generation is 30 during Shippuden). Obito is 13 during the events of Kannabi bridge (as stated in his profile in second databook, I believe?), so we know that between his untimely demise and miraculous ressurection 17 years have passed.

and here's the finale of Kakashi Gaiden. the wording of this page pretty heavily implies that following the destruction of Kannabi bridge, the TSWW ended (considering how many events unrelated to it are going to follow in literally the next year alone, it better fucking did, otherwise Kishimoto is incredibly bad with numbers). So, we know for certain that the end of that particular war was 17 years before the events of Shippuden.

Now let's remember another major date that pops up here and there during Kakashi Gaiden - the failure and subsequent suicide of Kakashi's father, Hatake Sakumo, which took place 5 years before Kannabi. To recap - some sort of important mission, goal vs comrades, Sakumo chooses comrades, mission ends in a failure, everyone hates Sakumo, including the very same comrades, Sakumo kills himself. Now here's the thing - even if Sakumo was compared to Sannins, we know pretty much jackshit about when and where he did missions. We've obviously heard about this mission, and there is also a very interesting fact about him killing parents of another Akatsuki-member-to-be - Sasori. However, Sasori was a very young child when it happened (off Chiyo's memories), and Sasori himself fought and ditched Suna during TSWW, so Sakumo fighting against Suna would have taken place in the previous World War, which is the Second.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is - we know nothing of Sakumo's involvement in the TSWW, meaning that he became a legendary and respected figure before it. And we certainly know that there was some mission, he put his comrades' lives over the mission, mission failed, and everyone hated him. And doesn't that seem like a bit of a... overreaction? Considering that during the plot we see quite a few missions being failed and yet it doesn't lead to shinobi in charge of them to becoming pariahs and ending their lives. Unless, of course... the failure of that particular mission had some absolutely catastrophic consequences.

Here's the part that was purely theorized, however I love this theory a lot and I believe that it actually does an amazing job at explaining the events, so here it goes - Hatake Sakumo's mission that took place 5 years before the events of Kannabi bridge mission was the spark that set off the Third Shinobi World War.

And suddenly the way everyone acts makes a lot of sense. Sakumo chose to save his comrades and know all of them watch as their village and country submerges itself into another worldwide meatgrinder? Yeah, no fucking wonder they started hating him, they are also kind of responsible for shit going down. The village despised him? Yeah, alright, everyone now must prepare for another war with like 3 different Greater Nations and think of how their friends and relatives are going to die, of course they can't stand his guts. Sakumo watches his homeland being engulfed into the fires of war caused by his one decision that went against the rules of shinobi? Oh yeah, no wonder he takes his life, no one's honor ever recovers from setting off a literal World War. Young Kakashi wants nothing to do with his father's name and values, even of it's his only (once upon a time) living relative? I mean, your dad's the reason all the adults in the village are getting their mandatory wartime flashbacks to shit thay experienced back during the Second Shinobi World War and you and your classmates instead of having to catch cats somewhere in the village now have to catch boulders with their faces somewhere on the border between Land of Earth and Land of Grass, of course you're not gonna follow his steps in any capacity.

Anyway, you get the idea. Now that I've explained why I believe the beginning of TSWW is assossiated with Hatake Sakumo, we can see that the war lasted for about 5 years, which is pretty reasonable time for at least two generations to get completely fucked over, so this theory passes a sanity check. Thus, we can presume that TSWW started 22 years before the events of Shippuden.

And, as I am sure you are aware, 22 is a magical number for this post, because Hidan is exactly 22 years old in Shippuden

(while searching for info for this post, I've found the English translation of the databook, so here's a bit of it with the main stuff for Hidan)

Now, all of my previous yapping about the dates creates a pretty interesting picture: Akatsuki members can be separated into three clusters (Zetsu and Orochimaru don't count, didn't care + didn't ask + L bozo + asspull plot twists): grandpa Kakuzu as the outlier that literally predates the shinobi village system, the majority of Akatsuki aged 30-40 aka kids born during the Second Shinobi World War and later fucked up by the Third Shinobi World War, and the three kids of the Third Shinobi World War aka Hidan (22), Itachi (21) and Deidara (19). Who are. You know. Even if they never fought in that war, they are still clearly not okay.

So yeah, one certain thing: Hidan would have been born around the same time as the TSWW was beginning, and, considering that it lasted 5 years, he should, theoretically, be able to remember its last years (the ones that involved sending 13 year olds on the enemy territory on Konoha's side of the conflict, wonderful stuff).

Now we'll be switching to geography because, I mean, how bad could it be for wherever Hidan was born? The answer is - likely pretty fucking bad.

Here's another tidbit from the databook confirming that Hidan was born in Yugakure (the reason why I specifically checked for it was that I was unsure if he simply got his shinobi education(?) in Yugakure or he was actually born there, the first scenario makes things kind of more ambigious; and it is possible, Kushina is an example of someone born in Uzushio and trained in Konoha). Now let's look at the map and see where Yugakure is...

Goddamit it's right in between Land of Fire and Land of Lightining. Literally like the fastest way for either country's army to pass through to fuck up each other. Possibly for Blood Mist too, if they ever got the brightest idea to go fuck up Kumogakure via a land path.

And yes there's no doubt that Konoha and Kumo were fighting in that war (chapter 542)

Ay, Bee and Minato can only be young adults for TSWW + Minato explicitly states that neither Ay nor he are Kage yet, Minato becomes one after the end of the war, while Ay does after his father dies fighting a giant army (figure which village is geographically close to Kumo to pull this) for three days straight. All in all, Kumo and Konoha undoubtedly were against each other during the time Hidan would be learning how to talk and walk, so Yugakure would be stuck between the rock and the hard place.

Which, off the example of Amegakure (granted these poor fuckers are stuck between THREE Greater Nations, and whenever there's a big conflict going on Suna, Iwa and Konoha like to throw the title of "the biggest civilian casualties inflicter" between each other like it's hot potato, but nonetheless) being a small village in this position sucks major ass. Hidan would have been watching his home getting rolled over by Kumo and Konoha repeatedly all childhood, and I think it's pretty safe to say that it's heavily affected him and his hightened interest in all things violent.

And off the paragraph above, we see that Yugakure turned into a resort village after the war ended (this couldn't have happened before or during it, otherwise it raises a question of how the hell Hidan is a shinobi).

(And I love the phrase "all major wars disappeared from the world" - my brother in christ it's been literally just 17 years and everyone's at each others throats again, why is Kishimoto trying to desperately gaslight his readers into believing that it was all bad before but now everyone's in an era of peace, the world is literally in another mid-war period and the world is aware of what these times look like (already happened 2 times))

Ahem. Sorry for going off topic. Now, whether Yugakure stopped being a military center on its own volition due to economic reasons or someone pressured them into demilitarising (once again, there's a pretty big border between the Land of Hot Springs and Land of Fire, and Konoha's got this dude named Danzo who likes having his nose into bordering countries' business, hi again, Ame, and is the literal embodiment of paranoia, considering all of that, such a scenario is possible), the result is the same - Yugakure is now a peaceful village, Hidan is its shinobi who is likely traumatised from the events in TSWW, so he craves some pretty extreme forms of violence. It's kind of obvious why he got tangled with the cult of Jashin.

And then there's... nothing. Literally a blank period. There's no info on Hidan's education as the shinobi (the databook has ??? for this info), Yugakure has no ninja registration system unlike the major hidden villages, so nothing can be inferred off of that, there's some stuff said about cult of Jashin and Hidan being the first successfull immortality experiment, but there are no events corresponding to any of this in the manga or the databooks, so alas, we have no clues what was going on with him before his recruitment into Akatsuki, so let's go into this

Thankfully, there's a bit more on that. Hidan during the six day (jesus christ I really hope Pain, Konan and Obito are paying these guys for the overtime, wtf is that, being stuck with your coworkers for 144 hours) zoom call when they were sealing Isobu and Matatabi argues with Pain and says the following

(chapter 329)

(and yes if you are wondering "hey weren't Hidan and Kakuzu dead by the time Obito and Deidara caught Isobu?", this is one of the prime examples why I don't care for anything stated in the anime, because this is one of the things changed from the original: Isobu is shown to be caught before, I believe, Hidan and Kakuzu even make an appearance, the canon scene for Isobu capture starts with Isobu watching who the fuck woke him up, while Obito and Deidara are yapping as usual before Obito is off to get bullied by this one big turtle for the third fucking time in his life)

Obviously, we know that Tobi joined Akatsuki officially after Sasori's death, during Shippuden events, so Hidan's recruitment would be somewhere before that and literally everyone else in the organization. Konan, Zetsu, Pain were there from the start after Obito took over, Itachi joined 8 years ago (after the Uchiha massacre), I've explained why I believe Deidara was taken 7 years before Shippuden, but obviously it can be anywhere between 7 to 4 years, Kisame would have to be somewhere before Deidara, Sasori would have to be before Itachi (because he was Orochimaru's partner before Itachi came about), Kakuzu could have happened literally at any point after the takeover but before Hidan's joining. So, not much is conclusive here, except that at earliest it would have taken like 7 years before Shippuden.

HOWEVER! There's one scene that actually allows us to establish that Hidan would have been recruited during the timeskip between OG Naruto and Shippuden! And it's everyone's favorite "why the fuck is Deidara upside down on the ceiling" scene

First important thing about Akatsuki: Hidan's figure is very obvious, even during the zoom meetings, considering that he is oftentimes drawn with his scythe. As we can see, no scythe in sight.

But that's not the weirdest thing in this picture. I, as a very sane person, have Akatsuki members' heights saved up (rounded up mathematically), so let's take a look at them:

Kisame 195

Kakuzu 185

Obito 182

Itachi 178

Zetsu 177

Hidan 177

Pain 177

Nagato 176

Konan 169

Deidara 166

Sasori 164

Now, after seeing this data, do you see anything conflicting with it on the picture above?

...

...

Who the fuck is this guy? The guy who is TOWERING above Kisame, literally the tallest known member?

My sanity says that the obvious answer is Kishimoto didn't plan shit, the designs for Akatsuki members weren't finished by that point, so we get this weird shit in the chapters before Akatsuki got revealed. Unfortunately, my sanity does not work as an in-universe argument, so the alternative is that this is actually Kakuzu's partner before Hidan (one of the guys that got killed by him), which creates the following chain of events: Akatsuki have this meeting 3 years before Shippuden, Kakuzu kills this 2.5 meter tall dude, and then the HR department aka Pain, Konan and Obito find this one undying cultist and pair them up because goddammit Kakuzu we don't have time for this bullshit, we need to tailedbeastmaxx.

So, as a result, Hidan joined Akatsuki anywhere from 19 to 22 (and I don't remove 22 from the boundary unlike I did with Deidara because Hidan not knowing wtf Akatsuki's goal is in this particular meeting is pretty wild, considering that Isobu and Matatabi are the fourth and fifth Tailed Beast that they are sealing by this point - Deidara said during the Kazekage Rescue arc that before Gaara they already got two jinchuiki, so 2 + Shukaku = 3 before that meeting - and zero times did Hidan think about asking "hey Leader what the fuck are we cooking here")

And I think that's about all I've got in regards to timeline stuff for Hidan. 0-5 - watches the carnage of the Third Shinobi World War, the next like 15 years are in the fog of war, so we only know that he's got his shinobi education, got pissed at the village, joined a cult, obtained immortality, and then from 19 to 22 he is recruited into Akatsuki.

thanks for joining my Tobitalk for today

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: Sakura sees ghosts

For some reason I am currently obsessed with this AU! It's kinda random, but I have decided that it deserves it's own list. Perhaps one of you has fallen down this rabbit hole too?

Also, happy new year!

Started: 2024.12.19

Last Updated: 2025.04.26

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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ghost in a land of skeletons (or sakura sees ghosts and things get weird) - Drindrak || ao3 || G || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || series

Sakura walks the line between the living and the dead - has walked it her entire life. The dead try to tell their tales but the living are ignorant. Sakura refuses to stay ignorant.

I haven't read all of the fics from this series, but the ones I have were great! Really fun stuff and a cast of characters that includes ones you don't typically see much in Sakura fanfiction.

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Haunt The Lonely - Tht0neGal666 || ao3 || G || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || series

"Do you hate Kakashi-nii?" She repeated, a little more insistent. Not angry, just curious, in that blameless way only children could be. "Rin-nee said that the Uchiha hate him because he had Obito-nii's eye. Do you hate him?"

AHHH Haunt The Lonely is so good!!! Shisui and Rin are the main ghosts here and I just love the dynamics they have with Sakura. Rin is like an older sister that gives advice and Shisui is Shisui lmao. Lots of meddling from him to ensure that Sakura doesn't get to graduate early, much to her annoyance.

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These Eyes of Mine (I Can See) - tsukuyue || ao3 || T || gen || time travel AU || complete

They've lost. Naruto was dead, killed at Kaguya’s hands. Along with him died any illusions of hope that they could win. They couldn’t win, but perhaps they wouldn’t need to. In attempts to stop the Fourth Shinobi War from ever occuring, Sakura is sent back in time to the moment of her birth. Protecting the people she cared about would be much easier if she knew all the facts. OR Where Sakura can see the dead, and Danzō deserves to die.

The whole 'Sakura sees ghosts' thing doesn't come in until much later in the story here. This is another one of those Sakura-centric time travel fics and so of course we have some Danzo hatred going on!! I remember there being some pretty interesting Uchiha clan lore in this fic as well. Plus, another great Shisui and Sakura friendship in These Eyes of Mine.

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Monsters Born and Made - IonCoffin || ao3 || T || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || ongoing

“My name is Hatake Sakumo, and I’ve been dead for tweleve years.” It seemed fitting that her kekkei genaki would awaken in the cemetery, of all places. OR The Haruno Clan are immigrants, Sakura grows up differently, there are ghosts dogging her every step, and that changes everything.

Not only does Sakura see the ghosts of people like Sakumo and Shisui, but she also ends up as an early graduate! She originally joins a separate team from team 7 and forms close bonds with them, but eventually things seem to fall apart. Sakura then struggles to adjust on team 7. Super interesting story and I'm excited to see where it goes!

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Rotting Roots and Falling Dead Leaves - Blushinrosie || ao3 || T || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || ongoing

Sakura sees ghosts and the only person less pleased about it than her is Kakashi-sensei.

This is a pretty entertaining story imo. Sakura finds out after the fight against Zabuza and Haku that she can, unfortunately, see ghosts. Kakashi is definitely not thrilled with the situation either, but there is some good bonding in here between the two of them! In fact, she even becomes the ancillary leader of team 7.

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Dead Men Tell Tall Tales - an_OH94 || ao3 || G || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || incomplete

Haruno Sakura knows Death before she knows anything else. Knowing doesn’t prepare her for Team 7. Unlike what everyone seems to believe, it does not start with seeing dead people. That, actually doesn’t come until much, much later.

Essentially, Sakura is a very weird child who happens to live at shrine/cemetery. Anyway, I really love the style in which this is written. Sakura's friendships are supper interesting as well and I find the fact that she befriends Shino to be so fitting with her character here. Her relationship with the team is also lovely and I hope this gets continued one day!

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Inherited Will of Fire - jokergirl2001 || ffn || T || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || incomplete

She always knew she was a natural at genjutsu but what she didn't know was that being a natural meant she had some immense talent when it comes to spiritual energy. Well at least that's what the cheerful raven haired boy who apparently drowned himself on purpose said.

If Inherited Will of Fire ever gets completed, I will be jumping with joy! Such an awesome fic where the ghosts help Sakura to become another name on Konoha's list of early graduates. The training arc makes me laugh because there's some Mulan references (you'll understand if you read it) lmao. Anyway, her team is genuinely so intriguing because I can already see where the author was going with it and I wish I could read what happens!!!! Also, dw she is still friends with the rookies!

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Not so imaginary - FangirlJo || ao3 || gen || T || ghost Tobirama AU || incomplete

Haruno Sakura was 5 when she realises her imaginary friend was not so imaginary at all and resembles the Second Hokage by a lot. Like a lot a lot.In which Senju Tobirama is Sakura's Ghost Sensei. Things change, chaos ensues and Tobirama is once more reminded with the reason he doesn't have kids.

Damn, I just really love Tobirama as a character. This guy rocks and deserves more story time (justice for Tobirama!!).

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Two Minds (are better than one) - Lesemaus16 || ao3 || gen || Tobirama as inner AU || complete

Tobirama doesn't generally object to being reborn. He does object to being stuck in the mind of a little girl, though.Sakura grows up with a grumpy voice in her head, telling her to train more.Tobirama's influence on Sakura might very well change the story. Or maybe not, who knows.

Tobirama is such a great character (so refreshing) and his interactions with Sakura in this are gold! I hope one day Kishimoto will release some side stories about him and other characters from his time as we really don't know that much about them tbh.

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Partners In Crime (Formerly Ghosts In Crime) - TsukikoUchu || ffn || T || multi || Sakura sees ghosts AU || incomplete

Sakura can talk to Hashirama and Kushina's ghosts and they cause mischief and trouble for her all the time, but they are insanely protective over her and can take command of her body especially when someone hunts Sakura from a young age Sakura/Multi Pairing Don't like how I write my story or the things i write, don't read it, eventual revivals just a few (Name Change)

I think Partners in Crime might be the longest fic on the list here, so if you're someone who enjoys longer works then here you go! Also, I feel like I should mention that the author has loads of Sakura fics with plenty of different pairings, if you're interested.

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halcyon days - jaylene || ffn || T || Indra/Sakura/Ashura || Sakura sees ghosts AU || complete

Sakura sees dead people. Well, two dead people to be exact. Everything changes. Sakura-centric. Indra/Sakura/Ashura

The way I've been searching for the name of this fic for like the past two months now!!! Ugh, finally found it. This is such a good read though! Highly recommend.

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Running Through the Halls of Your Haunted Home - Harliqueen || ao3 || T || gen || Sakura sees ghosts AU || ongoing

It's not Sakura's fault she's a bit spacey and distracted. You would be too if the dead refused to leave you alone.

One of my current favourites! This is a really awesome non-mass where Kushina and Minato are still alive. Perhaps one of my favourite parts is who Sakura's brother is, but I'll leave that for you to find out as I think the reveal was pretty fun. Anyways, I'm fairly certain that based on the author's notes the endgame will be sasunarusaku, but rn there's no tagged pairing.

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istg I have at least one more that I like, which is on ffn, but that site brings out the worst in me. I really wish the favourites list had the descriptions there too because it's super annoying trying to find the thing you're looking for.

[ava-likes-fanart]

Time travel fic idea

A time travel fic idea with preferably Kakashi as the time travelee.

Messing with the time line obviously WILL have consequences. But Kakashi didn't care, if he had the capability to give his loved ones a good life, then he 100% would. But he did not anticipate just how big of an impact it would have. Oof, Obito get's himself killed because he never got a chance to awaken the mangekyo but still wanted to stand side by side with Kakashi. Rin also dies cause turns out, she was secretly a psychopath all along, and commits suicide for unknown reasons.(It technically wasn't suicide, but Kakashi had a gut feeling it was)

(the medical version - unable to feel proper emotions but knows how it is supposed to work)

(check out the whole rinterpretaion series by nohara-rin-dot-mp3 cause it is honestly really cool and is what gave me the whole rin-is-a-psychopath idea)

So, at the very end, the world actually ended up more screwed.

Then Kakashi kills himself out of guilt.

And then he wakes up again in the past, two months before his father's 'mission'. This time, he plays things more cautiously. But he still messes up big time.

So he's basically stuck in a time loop. As the genius he is, he does eventually calculate the right amt of death and trauma needed for optimization.

And this is the neat part, instead of becoming apathetic or stuff like that as time goes on, he instead treats it like it's some kind of speedrun.

And on the start of one of his lives, he just feels something in his bones that tells him that this is his final run. But he isn't worried, cause he has already calculated each and every possibility.

I want this to be a fic with minato or sakumo pov, where they see Kakashi do really random things, but they somehow end up being important.

Like, Kakashi spends 5 hours chatting with an old lady (an incredibly weird thing for him to do), but it turns out, the woman was actually a spy for Hanzo or smth like that, and by pressurizing her into constantly talking, Kakashi tricked her into revealing vital info.

Or the time where Kakashi spends five minutes digging a hole, only to pull out a rock from it and then go place it at a very specific place in the forest (which was kinda inclined)in a very specific way. After that, he places one singular senbon in a tree carefully, and then throws a few more randomly. All of this meticulousness was to kill an enemy, who somehow trips on the rock set up, rolls down and gets killed as the senbon goes through his head. To anyone else, it might be a very lucky coincidence, but to Minato, who saw Kakashi spent 7 hours planning this out, it was not.

This is like how irl, speedrunners do some crazy stuff for optimization.

a crack treated serious fic in short

maybe obkkrn, but doesn't have to

[ironstakes]

You Can’t Take it Back Chapter 18 segment WIP

They got to the bridge, Etho going first this time, then Kakashi with True bringing up the rear. He immediately protested.

But Etho had his reasons. “I was thinking- I want us on either side of you, Strach, so that if the bridge gets, uh, explodificated, True or I can repair it. On either side, you know? This way, say one of us falls in or something while there’s a ghast shooting at us, you have a way out.”

“So all Strach has to do is not fall in lava,” True summarized.

Etho’s eye crinkled and curved. “Pretty much.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Kakashi asked, not too keen on the idea of being in the worst position to protect his siblings. 

“Hey, I’m the old and wise one, right? Doesn't that mean you have to listen to me anyway?” Etho asked. 

“Sure grandpa,” True agreed. 

“Hey!”

“What’s up? Drop your glasses into the lava? Your dentures, maybe?” 

“Gasp! The disrespect. Back in my day, we used to respect our elders.”

“Your day was a long time ago. Are you sure you're remembering that correctly?”

“This lady, my god. Strach, save me, she’s bullying me! The audacity!”

Kakashi startled badly at abruptly being pulled into the sibling back-and-forth. It seemed like a well practiced exchange.

“Uh… don’t bully Etho?” he said lamely, internally curling with embarrassment.

True snorted. Taking his lackluster response in stride, she said mock-seriously, “Well, if Strach says I can’t…”

“Yeah, he sure does!” Etho agreed cheerfully. 

Kakashi didn’t like that they had been standing by the bridge for so long and cut in, “Strach also says we should get out of here.”

“Then let’s go,” True agreed easily. 

“Okie dokie,” Etho sing-songed, taking the lead. 

The return trek across the bridge was much more lively. True updated him on the Keralis prank and Etho shared a few corners he was going to cut from his shops and services with the primary purpose of annoying people. Kakashi, who rather liked annoying people, listened as Etho explained the way he set up his unsuspecting customer’s expectations, only to then turn those expectations on their heads in clever ways.

He took careful note, planning to apply some of these tactics to his own endeavors. Word play and homonyms, optical illusions, poetry, the psychology of numbers… there was a lot of thought and subtlety put into his idea. Etho was clearly a very intelligent man, but with the way he presented himself, he didn’t feel intimidating or even arrogant. Rather, he was very casual and  conversational. 

Kakashi could see why people liked him, but still couldn’t understand where his apparent popularity came from. 

They then prodded Kakashi to share stories, so he began using the sanitized summaries of some of his missions. Just a few snippets, here or there, nothing too incriminating. He’d spent his youth fighting a war, and when that was over he’d helped with the fallout, and after that he’d joined ANBU and later ROOT. He didn’t exactly have a lot of missions he could talk about, and he’d said as much.

“Didn’t know the war had ended,” Etho said, contemplative. 

“And I’m fairly certain this war was a different war that ended,” True mused.

“It was. The Third Great Shinobi War,” Kakashi explained reflexively, a little startled. 

“Oh, another one?” Etho asked, seeming disappointed. “Sounds exhausting. The first one was bad enough. Er, second. But at least it was shorter than we thought it was.”

“You really didn’t know the second war was over?” Kakashi pressed, mind spinning.

Behind him, True sighed. “No. Not really. We left during the second war and sort of stayed out of the whole ninja stuff after that. Had bigger things to worry about.”

Etho laughed a little. “Remember how Hatake was convinced Tango was a spy?”

True outright chortled. “I know! I mean, seriously? Tango? Come on man. I was more likely to have been some kind of spy than Tango.”

“So Strach,” Etho said, “for context, Sakumo was really into the idea that Tango was evil or something and tried for ages to make us stop spending time with each other. It didn’t work, obviously.”

Kakashi’s mind was working overtime. Was this why Grian was so hostile? Did all the Inja think the second war was still going on? That lie was impossible to maintain though! People went in and out of Inja no Machi, that's how he ended up here, so surely they would have known about the second war ending. It’d been years since it’d ended, Kakashi hadn’t even been born yet!

And Sakumo thought Tango had been a spy? His-their- his father was far from a foolish man. What had happened for him to think that of Tango?

“Obviously,” Kakashi parroted. “His efforts must have had the opposite effect, seeing as you two got together.”

“Together forever,” Etho agreed. “Or at least until the heat death of this universe.”

“Pretty sure Doc is ready to tie you to a chair,” True said abruptly and rather randomly.

“Ehhh, nah,” Etho seemingly decided on the spot, “I’ll hang out with him, but basing? Gotta think about that.”

Very lost, Kakashi decidedly chose to not think about what was being implied. 

[regret-with-a-u]

IM GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!

WHY THE SAMURAI IN NARUTO ARE LIKE THAT?? Anyways I need to write Samurai!Kakashi fic or I will literally die!! LIKE LIKE LIKE- SOMETHING SOMETHING AND- Sakumo one day leaves Konoha for the safety of his son, last of his kin. And settles in Iron country because they can hide better, the ninja part of him still here. GOING MORE SICKO MODE- Hatakes were a free clan, they were nomadic and loved the hunt and lets just say for the sake of the story they were originally Samurai's. THEN KONOHA HAPPANED AND STUFF AND YEAH The reason Hatakes were lost because they were samurai's in a shinobi village, hence the why Samurai country just keeps sending side eyes to Shinobi's LMAOOOO. Anyways, somehow even in another fucking country Kakashi gets Obito's sharingan because I am a sap. (I have a reason don't worry!) And now whole world is trying to understand: "...the oni has a what? A red eye?? Does samurais even has genkai- FUCK YOU MEAN ONI SAMURAI HAS A SHARINGAN??? 'What did you thought?' I DONT KNOW?!!! BUT NOT THE FUCKING SHARINGAN????" "Why is Fugaku tweaking? Is Minato crying-" "Don't worry about it Kushina"

LIKE THE BULLSHITERY WOULD BE HILARIOUS!!!!

Obito with newly rescued Rin in T&I : We know no body Sarutobi: .....you are missing an eye Obito, not giving a shit anymore: I dropped it :/ Into my soup :(( and then I ate it :)) Delicioux!! Yum Yum Yum :D Sarutobi: ..... Rin at the bacground breakdancing LIKE THE FIC IS NOT GONNA BE LIKE THIS BUT THEY WOULD JUST TROLL PEOPLE!!! Anyways... A fic idea for another day....

[no-nic]

im sooo intruiged by the konoha spin-off of that kakasaku au... and also by the actual au tbh. are sasuke+ naruto still in konoha? what role does rin play in konoha's politics? is she a jounin sensei? what was the team minato dynamic like without kakashi? how do sakura and kakashi's lives go? how weird is rin being about interpersonal relationships (if she has any)? and id be interested to hear pretty much anything about this au lol feel free to infodump :3

⭐️ i have. a lot to say ⭐️

point of divergence?

at first i wanted to swap sakumo with a kiri shinobi. then i realized, nothing ever changes. one man doesn't start or stop a war. he didn't change the system. fandom misconception: apparently sakumo gets blamed for a mission that started a war? what are timelines? who said that? i know that when one is writing a fic it's easy to conspiracy-brain this & say something like "root sabotaged the mission" to keep sakumo like... "perfect"? or that danzo for some reason staged his death? we're just adding crimes to the old man's portfolio huh sakumo's kiri existence leads to sakura's parents -- in this they are civilian merchants -- settling in the land of water and having a child earlier. let's say they are originally from around wave. they are fairly shinobi-positive: "our bloodthirsty little girl wants to learn to stab people? okay sweetie :)" ...sakura may or may not have younger siblings (who remain civilians) i'm keeping some fun sakumo & kakashi material to myself for now ^^

topics to explore in the future:

[story] sword legacies, expectations

[meta] girls with big weapons

[meta & story] lack of tragic backstory for sakura

meanwhile in konoha

let's be real, you're here because of rin. some of this is just my unwillingness to derail canon too much. rin follows canon kakashi's path: anbu, maybe a short stint in root, jonin, some more anbu work alongside visible jonin missions, and finally jonin-sensei! she doesn't spend hours staring at the memorial stone; she carries everything on her. she stares at people. all the time. sometimes hidden with genjutsu, sometimes just standing there like a statue. blink goes the sharingan. don't mind her. canon kakashi came to meet his new team late; rin was standing in the (ceiling) corner since early morning

don't worry, she still has terrible identity issues; the shared eyeball stuff really messed her up. "i will see the future through you" but twice. she is team 7 now. there's a monologue about team roles brewing in her head, you can bet edo tensei'd minato will hear it as soon as he leaves the coffin! hiroto (our hyuga oc; born to rage and die) & obito bring major "fuck the clans" energy.

rin sees the aftermath of eyeball politics:

fact: obito voluntarily gave a body part to an allied combatant (who previously lost an eye)

was obito's body his to give away? or does it belong to his village? or his clan?

decision: hiroto can keep the sharingan but he's on thin ice

fact: hiroto later gave the same body part to another allied combatant

fact: rin was part of the original team, obito's other friend, so she's someone who could have received the eye then if the situation was a tiny bit different

suddenly it's all "would obito want rin to have the sharingan?" and "we don't know that", obito's decision is now the law, not hiroto's, so please give it back to the uchiha

thankfully obito's dying words weren't "go be hokage"; she would burn the hat

decision: rin can keep the sharingan but can't even think about gifting it to anyone else, since her original team is gone (and minato doesn't want it)

when the uchiha die, rin's first thought is "who gets to keep the eyeballs?"

(answer: danzo. probably)

rin has a complicated relationship with being a medic. as in, she refuses to be called that anymore. when she meets tsunade it's going to get messy -- whether it's upon waking from the itachi mind torture special or not. “no medic ninja shall ever die until they are the last of their platoon” <- all-consuming Rage 🔥

most of rin's relationships are... weird. people think she's weird; she agrees, but their reasons are so wrong. (someone misunderstanding rin? never seen that before...) however she has a best friend, who deserves a whole separate post. who is it? not that hard to guess, but very hard to describe what they have going on. that relationship is built. they could feature in any "siblings or dating?" game. the answer is obviously neither. (most adult interactions to be fleshed out later)

topics to explore in the future:

[meta & story] seals & flying thunder god jutsu

[story] what to do with a sharingan

[story] Not A Medic

[story] from terrible misunderstandings to mutual character growth

next generation

rin-sensei gets team 7: naruto, sasuke & third character (anime only, so not quite an oc). sakura is very lucky to Not Be There yeah, this too is getting its own post later. not much material yet

#pink tsunami au; the konoha spinoff is taking form

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

Ask game, Danzo?

ask game ^_^

My first impression: i distinctly remember seeing him being set up as a villain and wondering if we were gonna see his tragic backstory or not since he was like. old.

My impression now: he's the best shinobi ever shown to us he's despicable he's just doing his job he makes me sick he's just some guy. i will get up in arms for him because nothing he did was all that worse than anything else anyone was doing but i'm not an apologist because he's never done anything good in his life. i love him

Favorite thing about that character: his hypocrisy <3 this guy will go ON and ON about how willing he is to sacrifice everything and how selfless he is but when push comes to shove hiruzen ends up living an awful long time... i love the fact that he is just lying to himself about his actions LMAO he sucks

Least favorite thing: uhhhhhhhh idk i think his flaws are what make him interesting. i guess the fact that he doesn't show up at all before shippuden because he did not exist yet ?

Favorite line/scene: i kind of love his fight with sasuke,,, both of them are spiraling into beautiful self destruction. it's martyrdom at its finest babyyy!!!!!! also the choreography is just really good for most of it.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: oh hiruzen for sure. their weird gay longing compels me. toxic old man yaoi at its finest. neither of them will ever allow themselves to indulge in each other so they keep inventing new ways to love. such as assassination attempts. i love when kakashi tells hiruzen that danzo's planning to kill him and hiruzen does nothing about it because he knows. that's how they flirt.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: KAKASHI!!!!! like ok i know there was the whole anime only filler stuff but if i'm being honest??? it only makes me want more because like what the fuck. in my head danzo had a weird situationship thing going on with sakumo and after the 3rd war started for many complicated reasons most of which tie back to the fact that the people in the highest positions of power benefit from war and danzo led a smear campaign to pin all of the blame on sakumo so that no one would think too hard about it things kinda fell apart... yes this is meant to parallel the fact that danzo eventually is used as a scapegoat for the uchiha massacre so that no one had to think too hard about it. anyways kakashi doesn't really remember the era where danzo was his dad's shitty boyfriend but danzo does and later when he reaches out to have him assassinate hiruzen its like. weird. its weird. because the assassination attempts are the closest thing those two will ever get to sex. i need kakashi to stop disassociating for 0.5 seconds and think about this because i think it would be funny. and thematically relevant. like. this paragraph is already way too long i'll elaborate on this some other time but GOD i need to lock those two in a room and watch them like bugs

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: idk. is anyone doing it like him? wait actually manfred von karma ace attorney

A headcanon about that character: i don't think he intended for itachi to kill *all* the uchiha! he thought that he had figured out suchhh a clever way to cripple the uchiha to the point where they would no longer be capable of unionizing while still keeping them in the village and therefore a utilizable tool. like. i don't think he though itachi would be capable of killing every uchiha including the ones who had mangyeko sharingan??? idiot didn't consider the existence of obito. rookie mistake.

A song that reminds of that character: freefall by rainbow kitten surprise ^_^ because what is he doing if not claiming to save everyone while killing himself. and them.

An unpopular opinion about that character: uhhhh the fact that i see him like a person at all i think? naruto fandom at large is not concerned with danzo as an individual which is sort of fair i guess. because neither is naruto the show.

Favorite picture:

is it just me or does he look kind of cute here

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I hate Kakashi's slander, the worst thing is that they always lie, today for example they were saying that "his fame was due to his father, and his most important card (sharingan) given by his friend. Always late for being reading weird stuff, kind of a weirdo towards women like Jiraiya."

Seeing comments like that makes me angry because Kakashi had to train and work hard and that made him famous, it wasn't just because he had the sharingan. Also at no point do we see him treat women the same way Jiraiya does...

Ya he has never treated women the way Jiraiya does. He looks visibly uncomfortable with Jiraiya objectifying Tsunade l, always looks unimpressed with Naruto’s Sexy no jutsu (him and Bee are the only ones in Canon with either no reaction or a reaction of utter disgust, Gai also has no reaction in anime)

The only time someone calls him a perv is Temari in the anime, and he’s not even being pervy. I don’t know why the animation studio decided to add that. Like his wording was not really the best/kinda dumb (telling Sakura she wants to watch her weight) but he’s genuinely worried about her eating food pills and the effect it has on her body and health. He’s not being creepy. I think Sakura might also call him one after he reads the lines of icha icha out loud, but again he’s very embarrassed by this where Jiraiya would be all smiles and excitement. The only one who can be compared to jiraiya is Ebisu, and even HE has more respect for women and tells jiraiya to stop snooping on them in the onsen.

Also people always forgetting Kakashi had to fight to learn how to use the sharingan without dying from chakra exhaustion, and acting like Obito wasn’t just powerful because of his family blood and the eyes that came with it. Kakashi uses the sharingan in a unique way from even the uchiha and makes a name for himself in the way he uses it, which highlights the sharingan yes

But it also highlights his genius because one cannot copy moves they cannot themselves do

In order to learn those moves kakashi had to learn the necessary elements first. The sharingan doesn’t give him that ability. So he learned all five elements on his own (something people with celebrate hiruzen over but act like Kakashi ‘used a shortcut’ when that’s not actually possible) and then he not only copies his opponents moves in battle but he learned them

Added them to his permanent arsenal. Something no Uchiha is known for doing. Even Itachi mostly relies on his Uchiha given powers even though he is actually skilled in all areas of being a shinobi and is a genius as well and could probably have learned more than just Uchiha based attacks and skills.

Also outside one Iwa Shinobi and Chiyo, no one actually thinks of Sakumo when they see Kakashi. He has very much made a name for himself, one that people are rightfully respectful and sometimes fearful of.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Jokingly thought to myself "Kakashi got a sharingan pass bc the Uchiha like him" which turned into "dumb au where the Uchiha just really like Kakashi for some reason (clan stuff??)"

Which then turned into two separate fic ideas where either Obito survives and Kakashi is a hot commodity for the Uchiha (much to Obito's displeasure, he has dibs you guys go away what the fuck!!); or a kid era fic where the Uchiha take one look at Obito's eye in his head and go "DIBS!! DIBS!!! THIS MEANS WE HAVE DIBS!!!!" and just violently adopt him

Anyways:

Really stupid 'Madara adopts Kakashi after Sakumo's death' AU where Madara never left the village and continues to live as a very grumpy old man.

He adopts Kakashi partially out of spite for half-Hatake!Tobirama + the Hatake were very old Senju allies so spite for that too. Plus a little bit of "damn, another once strong clan wittled down to nothing"

(The fact he never left means Tobirama died at a much later date and also made Kagami hokage)

Madara is visiting Tobirama's grave just to go "get fucked bastard, I stole your nephew, he's mine now." (Ignoring the fact Tobirama probably would have quietly approved anyways)

Obito is around and hates Madara with an inexplicable burning rage and the feeling is mutual. Madara has beef with this literal 11 year old and it's embaressing for both of them.

Obito just has another reason to be mad about Kakashi's general existence (why does the old man seem to like HIM???? What the FUCK????) Obito doesn't know whether he should be telling Kakashi to stay away from Madara or Madara from Kakashi. He does both.

Also Madara and Tobirama were like DEFINATLEY gay together but it was kept behind closed doors and also they continued to hate on eachother in and out of the bedroom. They had the energy of a married couple who regularly gets divorced and remarried like 3 times a month. Everyone hates them.

Madara regularly goes to cuss out Tobirama's grave when mad ab something, then ends his rant with a quiet, begrudging, "miss you, bastard."

Just in general mad bitter old guy Madara harassing the general Konoha population as equally grumpy, 9 years old and almost as bitter as he is Kakashi watches

Kakashi is going to grow up to be an even bigger bastard than canon, thanks Madara!

Eventual obkk where Obito realizes if he marries Kakashi one day Madara will be his dad and he almost seriously considers just. Not.

Is it really worth it. Is it REALLY worth it. Before he sees Kakashi smile or smthn and goes FUCK ok maybe it's worth it.

[senjutsunade]

This blog is penned by Typo Queen. So yes, you will see a lot of typo's on here. They are the bane of my existence.

This blog primarily functions on AU's with Finger Seizure (FS - @konohagakurekakashi) & Crazy Insomniac ( CI - @minaa-munch).

Beyond the AU's default verse will be Godiame days. Read THIS before interaction.

The blog follows this TIMELINE.

This blog welcomes creative asks. Rude ones and ones with sexual innuendos will be ignored and deleted. Character building ones will be respected and adored.

This blog will NOT write smut. Never. Its off the table. Nothing can convince the mun otherwise.

There are an endless amount of HC's on this blog. The basic idea stays the same but there are head-canons and references that might be unexpected. ➤ Tsunade's mother is a Yamanaka. ➤ Inoichi is Tsunade's second cousin. ➤ Namikaze Minato (whose grandmother was a Yamanaka) is third cousins with Tsunade. Headcanon shared with @minaa-munch. ➤ Tsunade knew kid Kakashi. After Sakumo's death, she'd sometimes bring the brat groceries and was gracious enough to allow him to cook her dinner. Kindness may as well be her middle name. Headcanon shared with @konohagakurekakashi. ➤ Tsunade was temporary sensei of the Inoichi, Shikaku and Choza's gennin team while their sensei was recovering from a bad injury. She led the cell for a month. ➤ Tsunade is not as 'light' as typically considered. During the second shinobi war, she wasn't just creating antidotes to Chiyo's poisons. She was also manipulating the formula to make them deadlier and use them against Suna. Quite a few of the techniques used by the T&I are failed medical technique experiments of hers. She is a kunoichi first and foremost. ➤ She cares deeply for her team-mates. They are all fucked up in their own ways and drift apart but her feelings for them never change. Even after she becomes Godiame, and Orochimaru is considered enemy, does not mean she does not care for the stupid snake and she mourns his 'death' as she mourns Jiraiya, later on. This is why you will see a LOT of sannin content on here. Those three deserved better, damn it!

A lot of stuff you sill see on here is from the following verses:

#Blind Incandescence - Detective AU

Tsunade, a medical student in her final year, abandons her dreams to seek justice for her murdered brother, Senju Nawaki. Frustrated with the lack of progress, she teams up with rookie detective Namikaze Minato. Their investigation reveals a larger conspiracy, leading them to start a successful private investigation company. Three years later, a promising tip results in the murders of Minato, his partner Kushina, and the informant, leaving Tsunade in deeper despair and in charge of the agency alone. Nearly a decade later, she continues to search for answers while running Konoha's top detective agency with her partners (who also act as headaches) Hatake Kakashi and Uchiha Itachi.

#Survivors Guilt - Minato Lives AU

Things did not go as planned during Naruto's birth. Minato had expected to die alongside Kushina, their fates intertwined in a final act of sacrifice. But fate had other designs-he survived. Heartbroken and shattered by the loss of his beloved, he was left to care for their newborn son. The Kyubi's chakra, however, began to devour him from within. Unlike Kushina, he did not possess the Uzumaki bloodline to shield him from the sinister side effects of sealing a biju's chakra within himself. Kakashi stood by, a terrified and powerless as he watched his mentor's agony unfold. Desperation gnawed at him, propelling him to seek the one person who might be able to save Minato - Senju Tsunade. Yet she was a ghost, a legend hidden within the vast, unforgiving expanses of the Shinobi world. Days turned into a relentless countdown. Each passing moment, a step closer to Minato's demise. With time slipping through their fingers, hope seemed as elusive as the winds whispering through the leaves of Konoha, and the shadows of the past closed in around them, darker and more foreboding, with each heartbeat.

#Ten Miles Too Close - Rogue Minato AU

Set against the backdrop of war-torn Konoha - Minato is a rogue shinobi who finds himself haunted by his past and his unfulfilled dreams. He struggles with the weight of his choices, particularly the decision that led him to become a missing-nin, an outcast from his village, Konoha. Tsunade seeks him out, bringing into the narrative her own bitterness over Konoha's need to keep taking from her shinobi. Bitterness and distrust festering within her, she is relentless in her questioning of his choices. His encounter with Tsunade makes the two navigate the delicate balance between trust and betrayal, loyalty, regret, and the haunting specter of their shared history.

#Rinne-Whoops (Who Died and Brought you Back out)

The title says it all really. Was meant to be a thread. Mutated into a novella. Didn't stop there.... The gist of it is Pein's final resurrection had unintended consequences, bringing back more than it should have. The yondaime has risen again - a return neither he nor Konoha is prepared for. 

For more details, there is a whole rules page, verses page and headcanons page - all forever a work in progress project.

[95jezzica]

Sannin-trained Kakashi

I just can't help but to wonder how strong Kakashi would have gotten if one of the Sannins got to train him. Sakumo's (Kakashi's dad) strength is stated to have rivaled the sannins, but after Minato died and the probable Anbu training, Kakashi didn't have anyone who specifically trained HIM.

Kakashi is a stated genius, and honestly his only real weakness is his lack of chakra reserves. Imagine how strong Kakashi could have gotten (quicker?) if Jiraiya spent 1-2 years training Kakashi, just like Jiraiya spent training Naruto? Kakashi already has canon sealing knowledge too, he's just not an expert/master.

Or, picture Kakashi training with Tsunade and learning how to store chakra like Tsunade (and later Sakura) does? Just give Kakashi more chakra, and he'd basically be unstoppable.

Idk. I can't help but to wonder how strong he could have gotten without +10 years of having to self-teach himself stuff.

[yoakkemae]

kakashi's modern verse written like 9 years ago.

kakashi’s dad was a world famous violinist, but he ended up messing up a very important performance that was supposed to help bridge relations between japan and south korea. the shame of his failure had sakumo commit suicide in a sense of gaining his honour back, which he does when kakashi is in his final year of middle school. 

kakashi, before then, had been a child prodigy in violin, having wanted to follow his father’s footsteps. he won a lot of competitions and even performed a few times as a professional, even as a middle schooler. there were many that thought his talent with the violin outstripped sakumo’s, but when sakumo died, kakashi stopped playing the violin entirely and started playing the piano instead. 

kakashi mastered the piano in a few months, and by the end of his freshman year of high school, he was already at pro-level and mastering some of the most complicated pieces in piano. it turns out that kakashi was just an all-around genius, but especially in music and learning instruments. 

kakashi’s high school is a special high school ( like in those shōjo manga ) where the school is split between the talented ( no matter the talent – if someone has a special talent, they’re in that class ) and the untalented. there are obviously some of that tension between the talented and the untalented side of the schools, but kakashi hates everyone about equally so it works out. 

kakashi picked up the violin again by the beginning of his senior year because of influence from obito, and kakashi ends up being a pro-violinist when he graduates, no longer flashbacking to finding his father’s body when he plays the violin. 

however, by his mid-20s, kakashi’s already gotten bored of being a pro-musician, and he sometimes has performances that would be considered sacrilegious, but because he’s such a brilliant player of any instrument he picks up, it works out waaay too well. people often visit his concerts just to see what crazy stuff kakashi will do next ( like, play famous classical pieces on the ukulele and making it work ). 

[cool-thymus]

last night I was reading Quiet Revolutions by @anj-does-stuff and admiring Sakumo. On his way home from work his inner thoughts went from "should I go get groceries?" to giving his blessing to Obito and Kakashi in case they decide to fall in love 😄😇💛💛💛 And hey, if you crave more Sakumo presence in fics, go check out Anjelle's works!

[sakumosowainthirst]

Ah yes. Me, my wife, and her oversized Quagsire plush.

[sakumodoesstuff]

Get out there and vote, America.