#salt in the bones

[mokulule]

A Pinch of Salt - Part 4

First | Masterpost

The final part of the first installment of the Salt in the Bones series which is a project co-created with @clockwayswrites, you can see the other stuff written for it in the masterpost link above or go to the first part.

-

John looked at the kid, who just stepped inside the fucking binding circle. His mouth fell open in shock.

“What is wrong with you!?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was an exclamation, and John didn’t wait for any answer. “Of all the sodding, daft, goddamn tossers - what were you bloody thinking? No, you weren’t thinking. Otherwise you wouldn’t have fucking done that. You DO NOT go into the blasted circle!”

“Are you done?”

“Am I-“ John spluttered.

Are you done? He asked, as if John was the unreasonable one here! “Oh you’re right chuffed, aren’t you mate? Well, you cocked up, you’re about to be banished right alongside the storm, you little git!”

“Then stop the banishing or banish us both. It’s your choice.” Kid stood, back straight, jaw clenched stubbornly and a frown over those wide blue eyes. His hair and clothes whipped violently from the storm, but he didn’t care, just kept his eyes on John.

John raised his hands in frustration, words dying on his tongue. It would serve him right!

It would serve him right; he stepped into the bloody circle. It wasn’t John’s fault. Everything was going fine for once and maybe that should have been John’s warning. Whatever was up with the kid he apparently had a soft spot for ghosts - even after John had told him several times that the spirit was gone. It’d gone nova. No coming back. The end. It would continue it’s rampage until it burned out. It would hurt and destroy indiscriminately.

And yet he still-

It would serve him right to get sent to Hell alongside it. It wouldn’t even be the first time someone John worked with got sent to Hell for their trouble. John Constantine was bad luck for everyone around him. It happened.

But it was different when John held the reins of the spell that did it, when he had the choice to stop it.

Still John was at his wits end. If he stopped the banishing, the kid was still trapped in the circle with the spectral storm. If he broke the circle they were back at square one except they were in the center of the storm’s power and it was even angrier.

It was easier, safer, to just continue the banishing. Kid had made his stupid arse decision. John wasn’t a good person. He did what was necessary. Ends and means and all that.

But he was a bloody kid - a teenager - they were basically obligated to do stupid shit. Didn’t mean he deserved to get sent to Hell for it. John had seen and done a lot of shit, but when it came right down to it he didn’t want to add sending a kid to Hell.

John had seen enough dead kids to last him a lifetime.

“Oh bollocks.” John let his arms fall and cut the feed to the banishing spell, wincing slightly at the backlash. “You better have a plan kid.”

The kid had to have some sort of abilities with that aura, maybe all hope was not lost? The kid grimaced and John’s forced optimism crumbled like so much sand.

“I-“ the kid winced as something in the storm hit the back of his head. He rubbed the spot, and looked almost apologetic, “I figured I’d try talking to them.”

John stared.

And stared.

“Or-“ the kid backtracked, “just calm them down somehow?”

“You cannot ‘calm down’ a spectral storm!” John felt like a broken record on repeat. “It’s impossible.”

He threw up his hands and walked exactly three steps away counting his breaths all the while wracking his brain for a different solution. There weren’t any good ones. Heck it was a miracle the kid hadn’t already been torn to pieces being inside the circle.

“We’re dead,” he lamented dramatically.

“Half-dead.”

John’s head snapped around at the weird response.

“I mean,” the kid tried for a smile, “I’m the only one in the circle.”

John stared in despair. The kid’s sense of humor needed serious work.

“I’m not gonna leave you in the bloody circle, kid.”

Danny stood struck wide eyed at the admission. That was- He didn’t know how to deal with that. There was a pang in his chest. He felt too open, too vulnerable. He swallowed before finding his voice.

“Just let me try something, okay?”

Danny turned around to face the center of the storm, he instantly had to squeeze his eyes near shut, from all the dust. Instinctively he took a breath and coughed. Okay breathing not good. Too bad he was human right now.

He had to get closer, closer to that screaming grief. He might be human right now, but he was also a ghost and the anger from earlier was just a thin veneer on top of grief on top of a cry for help. He felt it in his core like scrabbling hands desperately looking for purchase.

He took a step forward, hands up to shield his face, pushing against the wind. Another step. Then another.

How was he gonna calm them down?

Danny didn’t know. He knew fighting. He’d even sometimes recently had luck with talking. But this? It was way beyond talking, until they were calm there would be no such thing. Danny didn’t know what to do. He could only press on and hope an idea came to him.

The grief was stronger the closer he got to the center, it tore into him. Tears trickled down his cheeks and turned into gunk from the dust. Something sharp cut into his bare arms. Danny frowned, kept his head down and pushed forward.

Another step and the grief sunk sharp claws into his core. He screamed clutching his chest and gasping for breath that would do nothing. But the claws were gone as soon as they’d come, retreated as if they’d touched fire.

“Are you alright kid?!”

Danny spared a quick glance back to Trenchcoat who stood all the way up to the edge of the circle, face white as if he’d seen a ghost. Danny couldn’t help smiling at that. Something that alarmed Trenchcoat even further.

“I’m breaking the circle.”

“Don’t,” Danny coughed clearing his throat.

Danny looked back up, squinting through the swirling dust. It may not be visible, but something had changed. There was still the anger and grief, but something else too. A sense of waiting. Waiting to see what Danny would do. They had tried tearing him, the trespasser, apart down to his core, but in doing so they had felt him. They had felt his intention to help and retreated.

Trenchcoat was wrong, there was still a sentience there. Danny found himself grinning in triumph.

But even better Danny had an idea. His core vibrated giddily in his chest. He was a bit sore, but otherwise none the worse for wear. He just needed to reach out and connect with the ghost, he felt sure he could calm them. He just he needed a distraction, he didn’t need Trenchcoat to realize he was the one doing anything ghostly. He wracked his brain, something that made noise, drew attention, was maybe a bit ridiculous, but didn’t take much of his attention from the real work-

That was it!

“Twinkle-“ his voice broke on the first word but gained strength as he continued- “twinkle little star,” Danny sang. He didn’t need to look back to see the incredulous look on Trenchcoat’s face.

He kept singing, he knew that song by heart. His mom used to sing it to him, back when she actually put him to bed. There was a stab of melancholy, but Danny clutched on to the positive aspect of the memory and reached out with his core, its hum getting stronger.

It’s okay, he told the ghost, help. Safe. Peace. Calm.

He took step by step further into the calming storm. And all the while he sung them a lullaby.

John stared.

Then he stared some more. He was doing a lot of staring today.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, what he was hearing.

The kid was was singing a lullaby to the spectral storm. And that wasn’t even the most baffling thing. No, the kid was singing a lullaby to the spectral storm and it was bloody working.

The storm gradually calmed until suddenly it was gone. The silence was loud in the sudden emotional void. John staggered from the sudden lack of pressure. All that malice gone in an instant. All that was left was a gently cupped ball of light in the kids hands.

“There you are,” the kid said softly in a slightly scratchy voice.

John couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. It was impossible and yet here they were.

There was a flash of light and suddenly they stood in a house. Built brick by brick by two pairs of hands. Children ran through the rooms. They grew up. They had kids of their own, who had kids of their own. They lived and they loved and they were protected.

Then they were gone.

The door shut for the last time. The house was empty.

A large metal ball slammed through the walls, spreading dust and splintering the doorframe that had measured the growth of generations. It was torn down.

It had stood here, right in what would be the plaza.

The translucent shade of an old women, bent and bony from a life of hard work, hovered in front of the kid. She warbled sadly at him. John couldn’t understand anything but the deep sadness, but it seemed the kid did.

“It’s okay,” he said embracing the spirit, somehow managing to do so despite her definitely not being solid. “You’ve done your best, nobody could ask more of you.”

He paused and his voice softened further, “it’s time to let go.”

The old lady looked over at John and gave him a stern look that had him frozen in place. She was the type of grandma that would wack his fingers if she caught him going for the cookie jar. He wasn’t entirely sure what the look he got meant. Only that it felt like an admonishment.

She looked back on the kid and her features softened, smoothed and in the next moment she turned to mist in his arms, dispersing in the waning light coming from the overhead windows.

John couldn’t entirely believe what he’d just witnessed. Calling a spirit back once they’d gone nova, it was impossible. Unheard of. Banishment was how you dealt with spirits like that. It was a tried and tested method. Yet-

John shivered.

Death magic. It was the only explanation.

The kid reeked of it, to the point John had thought he was the ghost he was here to deal with. He’d thought he was some kind of creature, but he was just a kid. A kid with a very specific magical affinity who’d just done the impossible. He was filled with a sense of awe and dread he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

He felt shaken. Like he’d stood right next to a bell who’d been rung to herald change.

John was no prophet, at most he’d get vague premonitions and he far preferred to be in the moment rather then dwell on the future or the past. He most definitely did not want to even contemplate this kid’s future. He swallowed.

Magic, in John’s experience, always came with a cost.

The kid promptly sat down on his butt. John had broken the circle and was running over before he even realized.

“You okay, kid?” He asked breathlessly.

The kid looked up, eyes a bit dazed as he blinked at John. John couldn’t really tell if his complexion was grey or it was just the dust covering every inch of him. Several places, particularly his hands, the dust was dark from blood where he’d been cut in the storm. He looked unfocused.

“How many occult detectives are you seeing?” He asked unable to hide the note of worry.

“Too many,” Kid said tiredly with a shake of his head that had cement dust falling all over. Then he looked back up and elaborated with a smirk, “one.”

John huffed a laugh. If he could joke he couldn’t be that bad off.

“How does burgers and fries sound?”

-

The kid now dusted off to the point where you could almost tell his hair was black rather than grey sunk his teeth into the burger with a pleased hum. He chewed and swallowed.

“This is almost as good as Nasty Burger.”

John paused fry halfway to his mouth. “That sounds disgusting.”

Kid laughed. “I forget how it sounds to outsiders. It used to be Tasty Burger way back when they first opened, but someone vandalized the sign and it kinda stuck.”

John hummed thoughtfully, he could appreciate the joke. Kid’s use of the phrase outsiders made it sound like he came from an insular town. Probably best for him if he stayed there.

“What’s your name, kid?”

Instantly the blue eyes narrowed on him in suspicion.

“What’s yours, Trenchcoat?” He challenged.

John huffed at the nickname and reached a hand across the table. “John Constantine.”

The kid looked suspiciously at the offered hand, then reached out and took it. “Nightingale.”

John nodded and shook his hand before letting go. Smart of him to give him a codename, he wasn’t apparently completely without sense. “Because of the singing.”

For a moment the kid looked confused to the point where John actually thought maybe he’d given him his real name.

“Singing? Ah-“ He blushed looking down and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “No, that just seemed like a good idea at the time.”

John shook his head, fuck it if he didn’t like the kid. He picked up his milkshake and raised it. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

“If it works…”

The kid, Nightingale, grinned ferally and raised his own shake to clink it against John’s.

“If it works.”

-

After filling up the near bottomless stomach of the teenager, they parted ways in an alley. John’s mind was already on his next case - people going missing in a forest in Germany that had a distinct this-is-not-just-a-GPS-dead-zone flavor to it - so he only absently noted the strange look on the kid’s face when he opened the portal. It was morning in Germany, he could start looking into things before calling the House for a proper sleep.

“Take care, kid.”

With those words he stepped into the portal and let it close behind him.

Danny was left looking at the portal. He shook his head, jaw tight. With real magic apparently portals were just easy. It didn’t do him any good to think about. He glanced around and when he found the alley just as empty as before he jumped into the air transforming as he went.

There were better things to think about, like the concept of an occult detective, he thought as he flew in the direction of Amity. It sounded like it could almost be an acceptable profession in his parents’ eyes.

And it probably didn’t require good high school grades either, he thought with a grimace as he remembered he had an essay due tomorrow.

-

Hope you enjoyed this story which explored how Danny and Constantine first met in this AU. Next step is letting it sit for a while, then do a thorough editing and putting it up on ao3 as a oneshot. (And then maybe talk to Clock about starting writing on the main story proper? We'll see). Comments are greatly appreciated :D

Another link to the masterpost if you wanna see the other bits of writing and/or subscribe to the series

[clockwayswrites]

Since I posted a big list and I'm a curious bugger...

Why aren't some fics in the list? Well, LBFD and ABSON are almost done (and supposedly Not Exactly Cinderella). And of course I'm not writing the one... and I only had 13 slots.

*needs a title

[uncouth-egg]

Star Trek Season 1 episode The Man Trap is always a great watch

[cockamamieschemes]

I love playing with symbolism with my Easter pics, and the verse from Genesis really stood out to me for things to come in the New Testament ✝️

[theweeklydiscourse]

I’m sick of people passing off patronizing and condescending commentary about how naive and impressionable women are as useful and educational. These people will base their analysis of fiction on sexist notions about how easily women are “tempted “ by malevolent villains and then act as if that’s some revolutionary take. They’ll unironically construe the narrative in a way that takes away all agency from the female heroine and frame her decisions as entirely the result of the villain’s manipulation.

They wring their hands about how dangerous it is for women to be exposed to these stories and moan about how terrible it is that hot villains appeal to the “baser instincts” and tempt female viewers further (Yes, I actually saw someone make this argument) It’s truly bizarre to see people agreeing with such patronizingly sexist rhetoric and saying things like “I miss the days when villain romances were cautionary tales and not encouraged.” As if women thirsting after attractive fictional villains is some epidemic that threatens society.

It’s especially irritating when women are the ones saying these things. They want to believe that they are a rare exception that, unlike those other brainless girls, can understand that liking hot villains will threaten their morals and lead them astray…OH THE HORROR!! Please save your dramatic preaching for the next purity conference and stop pretending that your sanctimonious commentary has any substance whatsoever.

[highly-illogical]

which of the bridge crew can say faggot

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN AND ALSO JUST MY OPINION PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

TOS Spock - yes, leonard nimoy threw the first brick at stonewall AOS Spock - yes, based entirely on the tightness of his regulation uniform

TOS Bones - yes, he singlehandedly revived the slur in the 23rd century once he ran out of things to call spock AOS Bones - yeahhh, he deserves to for putting up with spock and kirk

TOS Kirk - technically yes but i'm not happy about it AOS Kirk - yes but only from ST: Beyond and onwards

TOS Uhura - i'd pay her to, actually AOS Uhura - not after whatever the hell Emilia Perez was

TOS Sulu - absolutely, no further notes AOS Sulu - yk what hell yeah

TOS Chekov - for that fuckass bob, i'm giving him one (1) pass AOS Chekov - bless his wee boots, he could certainly try

TOS Scotty - would more likely call you a pansy or something along those lines AOS Scotty - technically no but he'd call jim a fag to his face and i respect that

BONUS

TOS Khan - no but if he'd said it to kirk before he died in TWOK, i'd have let it slide AOS Khan - no + spock gets to kill him with his teeth if he does

[trek-tracks]

for the next five minutes before there's another crisis

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

"it's okay but very YA" (said in an "iykyk YA obviously being a code word for awful" way)

S H U T T H E F U C K U P

I have actually had it, stop reading YA books if you don't like them and then shitting on them for being YA

Stop using YA as a negative descriptor when it is literally just a category

No one is forcing you to read YA, fuck off to the adult section and leave the rest of us alone

If it's boring, fine. If it's underdeveloped, fine. If the characters are one dimensional, fine. If the plot was lacking, fine. Say that. None of that is because it's YA. Some of the absolute best books I've ever read are YA and some of the most garbage worse than that Episode app shite I've read has been adult but you don't see me going around saying "bleh it's so..adult🤢👀" as if that's automatically supposed to be a given negative towards it

That's like reading a picture book and saying "eh very toddler-y" like??? Fucking DUH

(don't mind me i saw this twice in a row and got triggered or smth)

[mokulule]

A Pinch of Salt - part 3

First | Masterpost

John couldn’t believe he was doing this, listening to the bloody kid. The cigarette hung forgotten from his lips. Every instinct told him to hunt down the kid and get him out of there; he’d seen enough dead kids to last him several life times.

Yet here he stood, counting down the minutes with a watch in hand. A spectral storm was dangerous, it could hurt a lot of people, attract even worse things. The plan was sound.

The end justified the means.

He felt sick.

There hadn’t been any screams from the kid (yet) - just the feeling of the malevolent energy moving further away. As long as it was moving away the kid had to be moving too.

Time was up and John was running. Kid was not getting a second longer than he’d asked for. It took him a minute to reach the plaza.

He spun around taking in the space. The central installment, which would have been some kind of fountain had it been finished judging by the exposed piping, was kinda in the way.

John huffed in annoyance.

This was clearly not gonna be the prettiest binding he’d ever done, just circle and a sigil for each cardinal direction, but it’d have to do. He pulled out a compass and promptly grimaced at the way the needle shook from electromagnetic disturbance.

Yeah, so north was probably over by the escalators.

The malevolent energy had turned around and was now coming back. Kid better be alright or John would have to murder him himself.

Time was hastily running out. It was a bloody good thing John worked well under pressure. He’d barely drawn the last squiggle when he heard fast running footsteps. He looked up just in time to see the kid take a running leap off the first floor banister.

Fuck. John’s heart jumped into his throat. He was only halfway through a levitation spell when he realized he would be too late. He wasn’t fast enough. At best the kid would break a leg at worst he’d break his neck!

He braced himself and then- John didn’t believe his eyes- the kid ducked into a rolling landing jumping right back to his feet like some kind of bloody knock-off Robin.

“Ya nearly gave me a fucking heart attack,” John said clutching his chest.

“We don’t have time for that. Here they come!” Kid yelled as he ran over to him. And right he was, the storm burst into the room in a tornado of trash, tools and now gray dust - just great, it had gotten into a bag of cement powder.

It was John’s turn. Just as the storm entered the circle, John slammed his hands onto the circle and activated it. His hairs rose on end as the magic activated. The wind and dust slammed against the binding, but it held despite the less than ideal circumstances.

Time to do the banishment. John couldn’t wait to be done with this.

-

The hairs on Danny’s arms stood on end; so this was magic.

Danny knew magic existed. He’d been mind controlled by a magical scepter. He’d seen magic used and reality itself changed at the snap of a finger - heck Danny had wielded the Reality Gauntlet himself. But that was just it, wasn’t it? those were magical items. Objects of power that bestowed a certain set of abilities to the wielder.

It was real, but it was less real somehow, or rather more mundane. Not quite so different from the crazy things his parents invented and that was just science.

It was something quite different to see, to feel, the power in the air, the way pressure increased and his ears popped when he swallowed all because Trenchcoat held out his hands and said a series of strange words.

Danny could feel reality warping at this guy’s will, a point above the ghost where this world was growing thinner. He was making a portal right here, with nothing but words and will and whatever magic was supposed to be - something that had been his parents’ magnum opus, taken years of study and then not even worked until Danny stumbled inside, an unwitting sacrifice.

Would it have even turned on without him inside? Or had that been a little bit of magic too?

Danny laughed with an edge of hysteria. And here Trenchcoat made it look easy.

So much time spent - missed dinners and awkward school events waiting for parents that never came and they should have just found this dude instead.

Something caught his attention. At first he couldn’t tell what it was, but invariably he was drawn to the forming rip in reality.

Something was wrong.

Heat and sulfur stuck in his nose. A sense of dread pooled in his gut. There was something malicious about it. That wasn’t a portal to the ghost zone.

“Where are you sending them?” Danny yelled over the whipping winds.

“To Hell,” Trenchcoat yelled back, not taking his eyes off his task.

“Hell!” Danny squeaked in horror.

Trenchcoat spared him a bewildered glance. “It’s a banishing, kid. It’s what it does.”

Danny’s gaze shot from the portal to the ghost back to Trenchcoat. No, it was all wrong. The ghost was in pain and yes they were out of control but they didn’t deserve to be sent to Hell for it. Danny had to do something.

“Stop! You have to stop!” Danny stepped in front of the man hands raised almost in mirror, except Danny didn’t have anything as potent as magic at his disposal, not unless he wanted to reveal himself. He felt some of his resolve crumble at that thought. Danny still didn’t want to find out what the man had intended to do to him, had he not passed his salt test.

“Hell’s bells, kid! What are you doing?”

“You have to stop they don’t deserve this!”

“Kid, it’s out of control! This is how it’s done.”

Absolute certainty.

Danny wobbled. Clearly, he knew what he was doing, he was the real deal. Who was Danny to question that?

The ghost screamed in despair, cutting straight to Danny’s core. His lips pressed into a thin line. He met light blue eyes, held them, and then he took a step backwards - into the circle.

-

Am I being mean? A little bit XD Sorry I couldn't help it. I hadn't planned for Danny to do it quite like this in my original plan but he sure did it.

Thanks for the lovely comments on the previous part :D

You can subscribe the masterpost for the series here

[clockwayswrites]

Lol, I actually totally forgot about the Dadentine ficlet! I meant Salt in the Bones Constantine, should have clarified!

Also for Hollowing Bones, I desperately want to know more about why Danny is Not Happy with Constantine bringing him to meet the JL. Is he not happy about meeting the JL? Being on the Watchtower? Both? And Constantine doesn't really strike me as the type to break promises willy-nilly (caveat: I am not familiar with canon!Constantine so this is from fanon) especially not promises he's made to people he actually cares about, so I'm curious what it is exactly that prompted Constantine to break this promise to Danny.

Oooh yes!

So, at the start, and into the fic, he really doesn't know what Danny is in the least. He is, in fact, very confused by Danny lol as you can see in what @mokulule has written so far, since she's doing their first meeting. Most of the occult community is also really damn confused. When Danny starts getting into it on the kind side he's a Psychopomp but there's others who are convinced he's a necromancer because of how he reeks of death, as we hear in Little Living Bones. Another part of this is because he gets in the way a lot and won't let others hurt or use ghosts so some find him very troublesome. Much like John, he really doesn't make friends in the community because he as strong opinions and knows he's right. What Danny really is, does come out into the open during Hollowing Bones.

As for the JL, early on John and Danny made a bit of a 'you scratch my back I'll scratch yours' deal (John is very worried about this kid and the danger he gets into). Part of that is that John won't bring Danny into the JL. Basically he said he didn't want to be on the JL's Radar. But like Danny does he really downplayed how much he did not want to be know to the JL. So John broke an agreement, but one that he didn't know how big it was. It becomes a point of contention between them though, yeah, cause John fucked up. But John really needed Danny there, it was a matter of life (one particular life) or death.

And they had run out of options.

[carriagelamp]

My favourite books from 2024! Another really strong year of books for me -- every year will have some stinkers and a bunch of middling reads, but the highs of this year were really high so I'm pretty content

As always, I give more detailed descriptions and opinions of the books in my month reviews, but here's a quick breakdown for anyone who's interested:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

A non-fiction book that looks at how childhood has been “rewired”, focusing specifically on the increase of overprotective parenting, increase of tablet/social media usage, and decrease of unstructured, independent play. It was a fascinating read that really looked at how children need to be given lots of opportunities to play, take risks, and make mistakes in order to learn and grow and how a loss of that might be impacting people’s mental health. As someone right on the cusp of the age bracket that’s being focused on, it felt very exposing.

Apothecary Diaries v1-2 by Natsu Hyuuga

Maomao is kidnapped and sold as a servant to the imperial palace, where she serves as a general dogsbody in the rear palace, home of the emperor’s various consorts and concubines. She’s determined to keep her head down until her contract is up… until she helps solve a mystery and catches the eye of the powerful eunech Jinshi who soon learns about her in-depth knowledge of apothecary work and anything to do with poisons. Very funny premise, Maomao hates Jinshi soooo much and he is such a simp for it. She just wants to eat poisons and be left alone and he says “no<3” to both of those

Bury Your Gays (and Straight) by Chuck Tingle

Both of these are very explicitly queer horror novels. Straight is a novella that riffs on the format of a zombie story, but with straight people becoming inexplicably violent towards queer people one day a year. Bury Your Gays is about a Hollywood screenwriter who realises his horror creations are begin to stalk him in the real world. Both are very intentionally built around social commentary on queer issues, and despite have audacious premises they completely own their camp and end up producing really well thought out, insightful stories. I can’t say I liked either as much as Camp Damascus but either is worth a read.

Console Wars by Blake J. Harris (and Blood, Sweat, and Pixels by Jason Schreier)

Console Wars is a nonfiction book I’ve meant to read for years on my brother’s recommendation and I quite enjoyed it. It explores the history of the video game console market in North America, with a focus on how Nintendo revitalized it and how Sega then swooped in to upset the monopoly it held. The book is written in a very narrative, personable style and I found myself really rooting for the various people and companies being portrayed ahahaha. A shockingly fun read. I also read Blood, Sweat, and Pixels which wasn’t quite as narratively compelling but a related read that looked at games with complex development cycles.

Defekt by Nino Cipri

Technically the sequel to Finna which I also read this year, but Defekt works as a stand-alone and is, imho, the better of the two. Both deal with a surrealist horror Ikea setting, where the sheer density and liminal-space-ness of it all allows strange wormholes to open up between these stores from different dimensions. Finna deals with actual wormhole hopping, whereas Defekt focuses in on one employee who gets assigned to a very strange overnight inventory shift.

The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish v1-2 by Xue Shan Fei Hu

Fish isekai book. Is this a good book? No. Is it a really really fun book? Yes, in spades. In this book, Li Yu wakes up in a court drama novel… but not as a character but rather as the tyrannical prince’s pet fish. He is given the task to improve the prince and is stuck figuring out how the hell to do this as a fish. This book knows exactly how ridiculous it is and leans into it. Li Yu and Prince Jing are both idiots in very unique and exciting directions. No one knows what the fuck is happening.

Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

A prequel to Every Heart a Doorway, though it works perfectly well as a standalone. Honestly I liked it more than the first. This book has deliciously gothic horror vibes, and it plays with all the tropes you would expect from gothic horror / fear of the sublime. It’s about sisters who find a strange chest that lets them descend to the sinister land of the Moors. This is where vampires rule, werewolves stalk, and mad scientist’s ply their craft. The girls end up separated on and very different trajectories as they grow and acclimatize to the brutal existence of the Moors.

Escape From Incel Island by Margaret Killjoy

Exactly what it says on the tin. Completely insane book that is very worth the read if you feel like something that is patently insane. I strongly recommend treating this as a read aloud with a friend or loved one because I read it with my brother and couldn’t stop laughing. Top notch mercenary Mankiller Jones is sent to escort a computer scientist to Incel Island to retrieve lost governmental data. There they have to survive the hoards of Nice Guys, Volcels, Betas, and every other violent inhabitant of the island if they ever want to… escape from Incel Island.

Heaven Official’s Blessing v6-8 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

I finished the main series of Heaven Official’s Blessing (without reading the extras yet), and man what an ending! I could not have asked for a more epic or satisfying conclusion! The final battle and its various stages? The character reconciliation? The villain reveal? Perfect, no notes. The series itself follows Xie Lian, a prince who has ascended to godhood twice and been cursed and cast out from Heaven just as many times, giving him the title of the Laughingstock God. The story begins with him, to everyone’s dismay, ascending a third time.

Horrorstör (and Paperbacks from Hell, My Best Friend’s Exorcism) by Grady Hendrix

This book also deals with a Strange Alternate Ikea, but is the superior book. This was one of my top reads for 2024, and it was flawless horror. It is essentially a haunted house story set in an Ikea, that manages to be both chilling, disgusting, and a shockingly insightful critique of capitalism and retail. Very worth the read. 

After reading this I also read Paperbacks from Hell (a nonfiction book that does an analysis of horror fiction from the ‘70s and ‘80s, very good read) and My Best Friend’s Exorcism (which was decent but not my favourite of Hendrix’s since possession and exorcism isn’t my favourite brand of horror. The vaguely queer undertones and ending I found interesting, and it did some cool things throughout.)

Jeeves and Wooster books by P.G. Wodehouse

I ended up listening to so many of the Jeeves and Wooster audiobooks this summer while I was travelling. There were some I really really loved and some that fell very flat for me. I think I listened to too many in a row by the end… These books are like popcorn, not deep but very fun, and follow the airheaded but good natured Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves who unfailing swoops in to solve all the strange and inane problems the Bertie gets involved in. They tend to be funny, light-hearted, and clever in their resolution of plot problems… though some of the issues do get rather repetitive. My favourites were: The Inimitable Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, and the Code of the Woosters.

Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Some excellent science fiction, especially for my Pacific Rim loving heart. This bordered on the cosy fantasy genre, while mixing in plenty of science, world-building and a good dash of excitement. During the Covid-19 lockdown, Jamie Gray is stuck trying to make ends meet as a food delivery driver… until he runs into an old acquaintance who suggests he might have a very different job offer for him. Jamie ends up joining this very secretive “animal rights group” and finds out just how massive, dangerous, and otherworldly these “animals” are by being risked to an entirely different dimension filled with giant, radioactive monsters.

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books by Kirsten Miller

One of my favourite books from this year! Tthis book managed to hit on very topical subjects with both tact and humour. Lula Dean has spearheaded a book banning crusade, managing to get a number of “problematic” books removed from the library and has made a show of setting up a Little Free Library in her yard full of “appropriate” books instead. When Beverly Underwood visits her mother and hears about this she’s so exasperated with it all that she quickly hatches a plan swapping out the dust jackets of some of the banned books with the ones in Lula Dean’s Little Free Library. The rest of the story is about various people in the town who borrow a book from Lula Dean’s library and how the book they got instead ends up impacting not just themselves but their town. The first story involves a penis cake. Can’t recommend it enough, starts out humour and quickly becomes something you want to rally around.

My Happy Marriage v1 by Akumi Agitogi

This was pure mindless fluff, it was honestly a delight. This is a low-fantasy, Cinderella-esque story set in the Taishō era. It focuses on Miyo Saimori who lives under the thumb of her cruel step-mother, haughty step-sister, and indifferent father. She’s resigned to being treated like a servant in her own home and ekeing out a strained existence, but her life takes a turn when she finds herself nominally engaged to the allegedly cold and cruel Kiyoka Kudou. It’s just absolutely overwhelmingly cute and I really enjoy the contrasting POVs.

A Series of Unfortunate Events and Poison for Breakfast by Lemony Snicket

I’d never finished The Series of Unfortunate Events when it was originally coming out, so I finally sat down and did that, and honestly it was well worth the wait! It was a very interesting series to read as an adult, especially all in one go, because it really let me appreciate everything that Snicket was trying to say. It was a much more clever and philosophical read than I was anticipating, and The End was fucking superb. He absolutely stuck the landing, it completely blew me away. Poison For Breakfast was also a very interesting standalone novella that felt like surrealist philosophy. I might have even enjoyed it more than the basic TSOUE.

The Poison Squad (and The Poisoner’s Handbooks) by Deborah Blum

Poison Squad is a very compelling and topical nonfiction about the formation of the American Food and Drug act. The state of unregulated food processing in the late 19th century was, in a word, nightmarish. Don’t read this book if you have a weak stomach. But it’s completely fascinating to see how one person, Dr Harvey Wiley, made it a personal mission to scientifically prove what all these mysterious food additives were doing to people and put limits to what could be sold to consumers. I liked it so much I went to read Blum’s other book, The Poisoner’s Handbook which is set during Prohibition and explores the rise of forensic medicine and again exposes how people were being poisoned by simply living their standard lives.

The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill

The real, true history of the New York City Pushcart War!! For real!!! This is a delightful underdog story that is really written in the style of a history textbook recounting the fictional Pushchart War. This war started in New York City as the roads get increasingly congested with traffic, the worst offenders being the increasingly massive and arrogant trucks. The trucking companies hatch a plan though: if they begin to push out the little pushcarts, framing them as the problem for the congestion, then how hard would it be to push out taxis next? Or buses? Or motorcars? How long until they can make the road a perfect habit for trucks and trucks alone? How can something as small and poor as a pushcart owner fight back?

Railsea (and This Census-Taker) by China Miéville

I heard Railsea described on tumblr and it sounded sufficiently insane that I had to read it for myself. This author is truly unrivaled when it comes to bizarre worldbuilding that feels both very, very grounded in reality while also being completely unexplained and impossible. Railsea is essentially a Moby Dick meets Treasure Island retelling but with trains instead of boats and giant, mutated, vicious moles instead of whales. Unhinged. Can’t recommend enough. I followed this up by reading his novella This Census-Taker which was not as much of a frolicking adventure but fucked with my brain just as much or more than Railsea did. Genuinely not sure I even know what happened in that story but I enjoyed the experience of being completely fucking baffled for some 200 pages.

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Another book to ideally not read if you have a weak stomach. This novella is very big on unrelenting body horror. This is a twisted fairytale retelling in which a cannibalistic Little Mermaid meets a plague doctor Frankenstein. Both of them are walking away from cruel past lives, along a trail that’s soaked in blood and viscera. You feel how painfuly and disgustingly human this book is, while also being so wildly separate from anything that resembles human anatomy or morality. Superb.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System v1-4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

The last of MXTX’s three series I needed to read. It was the one I was most hesitant about, but I ended up having a really great time with it. It is simultaneously the most light-hearted and silly of the three series, while also the one that most gleefully dives into torture and sex. So you get a bit of everything with this, and as usual MXTX does a really good job of mixing the humour and series in a way that keeps things constantly interesting. The story is about Shen Yuan who dies our of pure, frothing fury after reading the shitty ending to the shitty, porny webnovel he’s been reading for hundreds of thousands of words. He dies cursing the lousy author and the lousy writing so he’s given a chance: step up and do it better! Which is easier said than done, when he finds himself waking up in the body of the series’ villain who is destined to be gruesomely tortured to death. Better get on that!

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent by Judi Dench and Brendan O'Hea

This is the written result of a number of interviews held between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea and she discusses her time as a Shakespearean actress. It looks into what her time working with theatre companies was like, summarizes the plays she took part in, and delivers into some fascinating character analysis of the roles she played. An absolute treasure of a book for someone who enjoyed their Shakespeare and/or Judi Dench.

Singing Hills Cycle v1-5 by Nghi Vo

Probably my favourite series that I read this year, I can’t wait for the next book! This series follows Chih and her magical bird companion who come from the Singing Hills Monastery, an order that is devoted to keep recording tales and keeping a history of the land. Chih travels all over in these various novellas, collecting stories, memories, and histories that they come across. The first book has them entering the recently unwarded palace of the late Empress to learn about her marriage, imprisonment and rise in power. The second has them trapped by a pack of tigresses with nothing to do but frantically lure them into comparing stories. 

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

Ten year old Ada was born with a club foot and because of it has never been allowed to leave her apartment. She lives a hard life trying to care for her younger brother and suffer through the abuses of her mother. Things change though as the Second World War truly begins and London begins to evacuate children to the country. Ada is determined — she and her brother will evacuate, they will escape their mother’s house, even if it means her learning how to walk on her club foot. Even if it means facing how different life is for unwanted slum children in the country, and confronting how much she and her brother don’t know about life. This was a very touching book, it did a great job of balancing Ada’s justifiable pain and anger with an optimistic story. Queer elements are all subtext but there — they aren’t the main focus of this story.

When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

This book absolutely took my breath away, it was a next level literary experience. It’s very, very solidly magical realism, so don’t go into this expecting true fantasy, everything going on here is allegorical and a beautifully done allegory at that. This story is set during the 1950s, in a time surrounding an event known as “The Mass Dragoning” when thousands of women suddenly, spontaneously, transformed into dragons and flew away. The story follows Alex Green who was a child during this event. Her aunt transformed. Her mother didn’t. Both of these things have profound impacts on Alex as she grows up, and a woman’s role in society, a woman’s anger, her joy, her desire are all questioned and explored.

[chernobog13]

BONES: That face rings a bell, but I just can't place it.

Lieutenant DeSalle, Dr. McCoy, and Lieutenant Jaeger encounter a familiar fellow in the estate of The Squire of Gothos.

[saltedsnailstudio]

been stitching a lot lately

[maxyvert]

🦇 Hexoween 7 - Rivers of Hell 🦇

🦇Roots of the Damned

🦇Gatekeeper of the Underworld

🦇Rotten Cavern

🦇Satan's Mask

🦇City of Devil

🦇Ghostly Blossoms

[theweeklydiscourse]

What I don’t understand is at what point did LB switch form team Darkling to team anti-Darkling. Like, that’s genuinely puzzling to me.

New or show only fans might not know and parrot her ‘Darkling bad, Mal good’ propaganda and her old tumblr post might be deleted, but internet remembers. As well as the fans. I found about SB before the third part came out and I swear Mal was so insignificant that I didn’t know he existed until I actually read the books. No one talked about him, no one liked him, he was nowhere near actual books’ promotions and discussions. Yes, the books were poorly written from book 1 page 1, but you could clearly tell (including from LB’s own posts!) that they (the whole story, the whole ‘vibe’) revolved around Darklina. Yes, maybe LB always planned for it to be a tragedy, maybe Darkling and Darklina never had a chance from the very beginning. But Darkling’s character clearly wasn’t labeled as unquestionably toxic villain who is wrong about everything the way it’s done by the fandom and the author herself now.

Like, at what point something in LB’s brain switched from ‘he’s morally grey tragic figure’ to ‘he’s just evil and you must hate him period’? Did she think like that from the very beginning and was it all just a long ploy to lure readers in (because lets be real the book’s initial success and fanbase was built on the Darkling)? Is she just saying that bcs black/white views, (fake) moral superiority and fandom purism are all the rage now?

This is truly one of my biggest unanswered questions about Shadow and Bone. It’s the kind of thing that makes me want to peer inside Bardugo’s head to get a sense of her thought process. There are so many things that just don’t add up, little incongruous details that contradict the narrative’s ending and the vision Bardugo claimed to have.

Learned darklinas know the lore all too well. This is why newer fans’ pearl clutching over people shipping Darklina is ridiculous, especially when they pull out the age-old “The Darkling was based on LB’s irl abuser!” rumour. They simply didn’t see the tumblr posts where Bardugo was actively stoking the fires of Darklina and engaging with fan content in a positive way. Either that, or they want to ignore it. But we know that Bardugo’s views on Darklina have changed over the years, and we definitely know that some of those changes don’t add up.

Take the pony cart scene for example, I wrote a meta on it a while back, but the gist is that it’s an extended metaphor that feels wholly incongruent with the trilogy’s ending. It casts doubt on Bardugo’s beloved endgame Malina for some reason, seeming to lean more into the idea that Alina needs to embrace her true identity as a Grisha. Or we could point to the total lack of substance in the “abuse narrative” Bardugo claims to have created. The Darkling was never characterized as an abusive partner to Alina because Bardugo never created a situation where that could have occurred. Her trust can’t be abused because she never trusted him in the first place. He doesn’t have a meaningful hold over her heart and mind (at least, not in the way Mal has).

It’s my hunch that Bardugo switched up after the negative reception of Ruin and Rising, opting to capitalize on a more complex sort of story that she never even wrote. The minute the “abuse narrative” was breathed into existence, the fandom started to become more vitriolic and ostentatious about their objections to darklina and the darkling as a character. Because Bardugo’s readership is fairly young, they took the author’s words at face value and didn’t bother delving into the obvious contradiction that older readers detected. It’s common knowledge that Shadow and Bone is a poster child for YA cliches and shoddy writing, but the minute people mention the Darkling, it suddenly becomes a subversive and compelling narrative about abusive dynamics. To be honest, this is mainly a mix of fan fiction and foggy memories of the series, with a large helping of desire for moral superiority.

[greensaplinggrace]

“Character A didn’t love Character B because they hurt them” discourse is truly terrible because it assigns a moral value to love that simply does not exist. love doesn’t actually mean anything about someone’s character. it doesn’t make someone’s actions toward another any better or any worse, it doesn’t prevent atrocities, and it doesn’t prevent abuse.

love is a worthless emotion when it comes to morals because it simply holds no bearing on them. true love doesn’t exist. there is no better or more pure version of love. in the end love doesn’t mean anything. it’s a non-emotion. it’s the child of passion and affection and dedication. doing something bad doesn’t preclude a feeling of love, because a lack of love isn’t a requirement for immoral actions, and morality isn’t a requirement for feeling love.