#sam and dean understand each other better than anyone and they need each other to be happy :( they canonically share a heaven :(

[fatecantstopme]

Not Good Enough

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: You overhear Dean say some hurtful things about you to Sam and decide you need to change, much to Dean's dismay.

Warnings: cursing, mutual pining, mentions of violence, body issues/esteem issues, past trauma, illusions to eating disorders and sexual assault. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), dom/sub vibes, dirty talk.

You didn't like to think about your life before the Winchesters. Most of the time, it was easier to pretend you didn't have a past--no dark and morbid history to share, no pain and trauma still lingering deep within you.

Sam and Dean were the only ones you'd felt comfortable opening up to, and even that took years. Life had not been kind to you, and the scars on your body and in your mind were the proof.

Eight years ago, your hellish life took a turn for the better, but only after you almost lost it. You'd been walking home after a late night filled with bad decisions, when you were attacked. The man was fast, vicious, and cruel--taking what he wanted from you and leaving you for dead.

As fate would have it, the Winchester brothers were in town hunting a nest of vampires, and had been prowling around downtown waiting for one to make an appearance.

It was Dean who heard your screams, your cries for help, your sobs. It was Dean who came running into the dark alleyway without a thought for his own well-being. It was Dean who dropped to his knees beside your beaten and broken body...who took his jacket off and draped it over you to cover your mostly exposed form. It was Dean who gently scooped you into his arms and carried you to his car...and it was Dean that stood beside your hospital bed until you opened your eyes again.

Sam had eventually tracked down the man who had attacked you. It turned out, he had attacked several other women in the downtown area over the previous few months. Dean had been surprised to discover the man was just that--a man. Not a shapeshifter, a ghoul, a demon...not a vampire or a werewolf...just a man. His status as a human did not, however, make him any more safe from your avenging savior.

You'd never asked Dean exactly what had happened to your attacker, and he'd never talked about it. All you knew was he would never hurt anyone ever again.

It was unlike Dean to trust a stranger, and certainly out of character for him to confide in one, but there was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He felt as if he'd found a kindred spirit in you, someone who could understand him in a way even his brother couldn't.

Once you were on the mend, Dean made you an offer--one you were thankful you didn't refuse. You joined the brothers on their adventures--saving people, hunting things, the whole nine yards.

Overtime, you had become an integral part of their small family unit. Either brother would have died for you and you for them. There had been more than one close call for each of you over the past eight years, and more than one monster brutally slain to protect you.

You were closer in age to Sam, only a year younger than him, but Dean had always been the one you were closer to. Just as Dean had seen a kindred spirit in you, you had seen one in him. He understood you, he respected you, and he cared about you more deeply than anyone in your life ever had.

In the long years you'd spent in their constant company, you'd begun to change. The darkness that lived inside you seemed to fade, as if being near the Winchesters brought a light into your life you didn't know you needed. The mental scars you'd carried began to heal, even if the ones on your skin would always be visible.

There were still days where the darkness would rise within you, dark thoughts rolling through your mind, bringing you to your knees with a pain you could never describe. There were days when you would look in the mirror and hate the reflection gazing back at you--seeing the girl you had once been instead of the woman you now were.

There were moments when you'd forget all the progress you'd made, mind focusing instead on all of your flaws, all of your failures. The worst part was many of them lived only in your mind--you knew no one but you could see them, but that didn't make them any less real to you.

Lately, you had been struggling with self-esteem issues you'd long since buried. You'd thought you'd come to terms with who you were and what you looked like--accepted the body you had. Weight had been a struggle for you your entire life, and for a long time, you turned to terrible habits in order to lose weight and attempt to keep it off.

Those habits had ended eight years ago, but the issues they'd covered did not. Today was one of the bad days. One of the days you stared in the mirror and hated the image you saw--the softness, the curves, the fat. That was the word that kept repeating in your mind, fat, fat, fat.

You tried desperately to block it out, to remember why you loved your body just as it was, but those thoughts wouldn't leave you alone. The darkness inside you was too much to battle, the pain of hating yourself too much to cope with.

You'd been thankful for the bunker the day the three of you had discovered it, but you were even more grateful on days like today. Days you wanted to spend holed up in your room, refusing to face the outside world.

As much as you wanted to lay in bed for the entire day, your grumbling stomach soon became too much to ignore. You knew you needed to eat--there could be no more starving yourself, no more binging and purging--you needed to eat.

You dragged yourself out of bed and tugged on a pair of sweatpants before cautiously opening your bedroom door. You listened for the sounds of either brother moving around. Upon hearing none, you made your way slowly towards the kitchen, intent on making yourself a sandwich and retreating to the safety of your room.

Just before you rounded the corner to head into the kitchen, you heard Dean's low voice rumbling from inside. You froze in place, pressing yourself against the wall, not wanting to be seen or heard. You fully intended to creep back to your room--you really did--but the sound of your name leaving Dean's lips held you in place.

"(Y/N)'s not strong enough," Dean hissed. You could tell by the tone of his voice he was angry, very angry.

"Oh come on," Sam snapped. "She's been doing this for eight years. She's more than capable."

"Are you insane? I mean, really and truly crazy? She'll get herself killed!" Dean's voice had risen in volume and you heard Sam shush him quietly.

"Don't wake her up," Sam chided.

You heard Dean's annoyed sigh and your eyes fluttered closed for a moment. You knew what they were fighting about. You and Sam had a conversation a couple days ago about you hunting on your own. You'd asked for his thoughts and Sam had been honest and supportive. He said you were more than capable of hunting on your own, should he or Dean not be available to go with you. Your hunting skills were certainly not on their level, but if the case was simple enough, you would be fine.

Clearly Dean did not agree with his brother's assessment of your abilities. "She's not strong enough, or fast enough, or physically prepared to hunt on her own. She's just not, okay? She's different from us...she's not built like we are."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Sam asked incredulously.

You bit your lip to keep from whimpering aloud, Dean's words having cut straight through you like a hot knife. You blinked back your tears as you moved as quickly as possible back to your room without making noise.

Dean's words repeated on a loop inside your head, echoing your own darkest thoughts about yourself. Even Dean thought you were too fat, too weak, too useless to do anything on your own. You realized he likely only allowed you to hunt with him because he felt sorry for you--a pitying friendship you didn't ask for.

Despite the irrationality of your thoughts, you could not escape them. You couldn't fight them off, either because you didn't have the strength or because you were afraid they were right. Your mind once again played tricks on you, dragging you down into the darkness--but this time you succumbed, allowing your own tears to drag you into a nightmare fueled sleep.

Unbeknownst to you, Sam and Dean's conversation had continued in the kitchen. Neither of them had noticed your presence, both too upset with the other to focus on anything else.

"Look, (Y/N) is my best friend. Other than you, she's my favorite person...hell, I like her more than you sometimes," Dean confessed. "I just--I don't want to lose her. If we let her go out there without backup and something happens to her, I'll never forgive myself. I'd rather her never hunt at all, but I think she'd kill me if I told her to sit out on a fight just because I'm terrified of her dying."

Sam was quiet for a moment as he regarded his brother. Dean was not known for his vulnerability, nor for sharing any of his deeper emotions, but Sam could see something simmering just beneath the surface--some emotion beyond rage and fear lurked in his brother's green eyes.

"What are you really saying, Dean?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean looked at the floor for a long moment before answering. "When we met (Y/N), I was instantly drawn to her--like a moth to flame. I don't know what it was, but I felt connected to her in a way I'd never felt before. That feeling has only grown in the past eight years and now I can't imagine living life without her. I don't want to imagine it. A world without (Y/N) in it isn't a world I want to exist in."

Sam exhaled slowly, realization crossing his features. It was rare for Dean to care for someone so deeply, but when he did, he became irrationally protective. Sam was painfully familiar with that particular side of his brother's nature. He also knew what it meant, what Dean was really saying--even if he wasn't ready to admit it.

"You should talk to (Y/N)," Sam urged. "Both about how you feel, and about why you don't want her to hunt alone."

"What do you mean, 'how I feel'?"

Sam raised his eyebrows. "You know exactly what I mean." He didn't give his brother a chance to respond. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and walked out the door, claiming a need to workout.

Dean watched Sam walk away, and a feeling of mild terror settled into his bones. He'd come very close to admitting how he really felt about you and it scared him. Hell, his feelings scared him. The fact that he was foolish enough to fall in love was bad enough, but the fact that you were the one who'd stolen his heart made it so much worse.

He'd told himself he would never fall in love, never get married, never settle down--this life wasn't conducive to any sort of domestic bliss. Part of him didn't think he deserved that kind of happiness, but the main issue was the danger of loving you so deeply. He knew the risks, knew how it would turn out--bloody, like it always did.

In his mind, the only way he could keep you safe was to pretend all he felt for you was platonic friendship. He could protect you on hunts and his guard would never be down around you, so he could protect you in every way. He'd seen how far you'd come, how strong you now were, and there was no way he would be the reason the world lost your beautiful soul.

No one could ever know the truth, not even Sam. The only way this didn't end bloody was if you never even suspected Dean loved you. No monster would be able to use his love for you against you, no monster would ever hurt you just to get to him. For you, for your safety, he was willing to break his own heart.

**********

It had been three days since you'd overheard the conversation between Sam and Dean. The first two days, you'd remained secluded in your room, claiming a migraine any time either of the boys came to check on you.

This morning, however, you'd woken up with a goal. You showered, got dressed, and made your way to the kitchen. As you were fixing yourself some breakfast, you heard someone enter the room.

"You're up early," Sam said warmly.

You turned to glance at him with a soft smile. "I wanted to get a head start on the day."

Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "You're feeling better, I take it."

You nodded. "Yeah, that headache was brutal." You felt bad for lying, but it was easier to fein a migraine than it was to admit what you'd overheard and the dark thoughts you'd been plagued with.

"Well, I'm gonna go for a run," Sam said cheerfully. "Any chance I could entice you to come with me?"

You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Not unless someone's chasing me."

He chuckled and ducked out of the kitchen, taking a bottle of water with him. Sam always asked if you wanted to join him on his morning runs, but he knew you were unlikely to ever agree. You hated running almost as much as Dean did.

You ate your breakfast quietly, contemplating your plans for the day. You had decided to start a new routine today, a routine you intended to continue until you felt better about yourself or until you could get Dean's words out of your head, whichever came first.

After breakfast, you went into the library to do some reading, intending to allow your stomach time to digest your food. You weren't sure exactly how much time had passed, but Sam had returned from his run, showered, and was now eating his breakfast at the table while scrolling through the latest news stories on his computer.

Dean, unsurprisingly, was still not awake, despite the fact that it was 10am.

You closed your book and stood up. "I'll be down in the gym if you need me," you said to Sam as you crossed the room towards the door.

"You'll--what?"

You gestured towards the hall behind you. "I'll be in the gym."

He looked perplexed, but didn't comment on your sudden desire to workout. He could tell something was a little off with you, but he had the feeling you wouldn't want to talk about it, so he decided to let it go. After all, it's not like going to the gym was something he needed to worry about--it wouldn't kill you (unlike some of your previous bad choices).

When you reached the gym, you looked around and sighed. You'd always hated working out. It was a reminder how out of shape you were and how imperfect your body was. Sure, hunting kept you relatively healthy--you had surprising stamina and endurance, but the weight just never seemed to fall off. You'd begun to feel like your fat was holding some kind of grudge against you, intent on making your life miserable for some perceived slight.

You sighed again and walked over to the treadmill in the corner. You stared at it for a few minutes, deciding whether you really wanted to use it. You'd always hated the treadmill, but you needed to start somewhere, so you hopped on and started to walk at a brisk pace.

Thirty minutes later, you switched to the stationary bike, wanting a change from the monotony of walking. Twenty minutes after that, you were bored out of your mind. You decided to try something else. Maybe lifting weights would do the trick.

About two reps in, your headphones died and you groaned in annoyance. You tugged them out of your ears and tossed them to the floor, opting instead to blast your music loudly through the bluetooth speaker Sam kept down there.

Alanis Morissette's voice now carried down the hall, but you couldn't be bothered to care. She was your go-to when you were feeling angry or upset, her music always making you feel better, especially when you scream-sang along.

After a few more reps, you decided to work on your boxing skills. Sam had taught you years ago, mostly as a way to teach you some fighting skills. You wrapped your hands to protect your knuckles, settled into your stance, and began hitting the punching bag. The release of frustration you felt was almost immediate and you realized you should have just done this from the start.

Upstairs, Dean was just returning from running an errand. He'd woken up and been distressed to find they were out of bacon and beer--his two main food groups. He'd gone to the grocery store to restock and was now happily cooking an excessive amount of bacon for his breakfast.

"You know you should eat something besides bacon, right?" Sam teased him.

"Nothing is better than bacon, Sammy. Nothing." Dean scooped the rest of the bacon onto his plate with a look of glee.

"Heart attack on a plate," Sam muttered.

"Oh shut it," Dean grumbled as he bit into his first piece. He moaned obnoxiously, causing his brother to roll his eyes dramatically. "Where's (Y/N)?" He asked, words garbled by the bacon he was still chewing.

"What?"

Dean swallowed. "Where's (Y/N)? I stopped by her room before I went out and she was gone."

"She's in the gym."

"I'm sorry, she's what?"

Sam shrugged. "She's in the gym. She went down after breakfast."

"Why?"

"I assume to work out," Sam said lightly.

Dean groaned. "Obviously, smartass, but why was she gonna work out?"

"I don't know, dude. Why don't you ask her?"

Dean looked down at his plate. "I will once I finish my bacon."

Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't comment further.

Once Dean had finished his breakfast, he made his way down to the gym, a feeling of dread settling into his stomach. He couldn't really put a finger on why, only that he didn't like the feeling.

As he neared the gym, he heard 'You Oughta Know' blasting down the hallway. He didn't hear your voice over the lyrics until he actually entered the room. He would have smiled at the sight if he wasn't so worried about you.

Your back was to him as you continued to pummel the absolute shit out of the punching bag. Dean had to admire both your form and the power you exuded. But as he watched you, that feeling of dread began to creep higher into his chest, wrapping itself around his heart.

He called out your name, but you couldn't hear him over the music. He spotted the speaker and walked over to turn it off, plunging the room into a shocking silence.

You spun around, surprised to see Dean standing beside the speaker. "I, uhh, I called your name," he muttered sheepishly.

"Oh, sorry. I was kinda in the zone."

He nodded. "Yeah, I noticed. So, uh, whatcha doin'?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Working out...as one does in a gym."

He winced, feeling like an idiot. "I know that, but what I don't know is why."

"Why what?"

"Why are you suddenly working out in the gym for two straight hours? You hate the gym."

You stared at him with an unreadable expression. Your eyes were dark and your jaw was set as you regarded him. "You can't think of any reason?"

Dean thought about it for a moment. "No...hence why I'm asking."

You gestured to your body. "Because I'm not strong enough or fast enough or physically fit enough to hunt...sound familiar?"

Dean winced, eyes widening with realization. "(Y/N), I--"

You held up your hand. "No need to apologize, Dean. I realized you were right. I am weaker than you and Sam, I am slower and heavier and fatter--I am completely less physically capable than either of you. So obviously, I need to do something about that. Hence the gym."

Dean stared at her, anger darkening his features. "None of that is true."

"Of course it is, Dean. You said it yourself. I'm just agreeing with you."

"Of course you're not the same as us, (Y/N), but that has nothing to do with your body or your weight or your ability. We're men, and large ones at that. We're physically built different than you, but that doesn't mean you need to change anything about yourself to be more like us."

"Well clearly I do, or you wouldn't have found my body so unacceptable--you wouldn't have told Sam I'm not capable of hunting on my own."

Whatever thread was keeping Dean from yelling finally snapped. "Your body isn't unacceptable! You aren't weak! There is nothing wrong with you--nothing!"

You were stunned into silence by the intensity of his words. You didn't know how to react or what to say.

Dean sighed deeply, feeling the anger drain out of him at last. "You didn't hear the rest of our conversation, did you?" His voice was barely a whisper, but you could hear the raw emotion in it.

You shook your head.

"You should have stayed...you may have learned something."

"What would I have learned?" you asked quietly.

"You would have realized that your interpretation of my words wasn't at all how I meant them. You would have heard me tell Sam how terrified I am of losing you, how that fear makes me want to keep you out of this life--away from hunting entirely. You would have seen that I love you just the way you are--that I don't want you to change a single thing about yourself. You would know that I am the problem, not you...it was never you."

"Dean..." you whispered, unsure of what to say. "You...you don't need to try and make me feel better."

He stared at you, green eyes full of fire. "I'm not trying to make you feel better. I'm trying to be honest about my feelings--to make you see you the way I see you."

"Why now?"

He was taken aback by your question, and it took him several moments to respond. "You know how I feel about romantic attachments...I worry about losing the person I love most, simply because they were unlucky enough to be loved by me. The fear of losing another person I love or have them be used against me is a pain I'm not sure I can bear. But you--you deserve better than my fears. You are the light to my darkness, my reason for living. I can't stand the thought of you believing I think less of you, not when I would burn the world down to keep you safe."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" you whispered, a glimmer of hope sparkling in your voice.

Dean took a step towards you. "If you think I'm telling you that I've been in love with you for years, that I love every single part of you inside and out, that I don't want you to change a single thing, that I think you're perfect...then yes."

You exhaled sharply, breathing ragged as you stared into his soulful green eyes.

He crossed the short distance between you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his body, not caring about the sweat staining your body.

He practically crushed you against him, holding on more tightly than you'd ever imagined he would. After several moments, he loosened his grip on you so he could gaze down into your eyes. A small, lopsided smile graced his lips and his eyes fluttered shut. As his lips grazed against yours, you sighed softly, causing him to immediately deepen the kiss.

His hands dug into your soft flesh, seemingly reveling in the feeling of your body in his arms. His kiss was everything you'd imagined it would be and so much more--you felt safe, loved, and cherished. You didn't know you could have those feelings from a single kiss, but here you were, drowning in emotion, his love the life raft saving you from darkness.

When you finally parted, Dean rested his forehead against yours. "Do you believe me, (Y/N)? Can you see how much I love you? How badly I need you?"

"Yes," you breathed. "I believe you."

He sighed happily, breath mingling with yours. "Will you let me show you?"

You pulled away from him slightly so you could see his face better.

His eyes were dark with hunger, his gaze almost predatory. If you didn't know him, you would be frightened.

"Let me show you, sweetheart," he begged softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Let me show you how much I love your body--how badly I've wanted to touch it, mark it, make it mine. Let me touch every curve, kiss every scar--bite and lick and suck every pleasure point until you're a moaning mess in my arms. Let me make love to you the way you deserve."

No man had ever spoken to you like that, and you felt your toes curl at his words. If he could spark your body alive with nothing but words, you wondered what he was capable of doing with his body.

Your breathing was labored and your voice husky as you murmured, "How could I ever say no?"

Dean smirked and he tugged you to him again, lips crashing against yours. You felt his hands all over your body, clutching any part of you he could reach. His mouth left yours, lips trailing down your neck, nipping and sucking gently against the sensitive skin. He licked the column of your throat and groaned softly, muttering "salty" in a devilishly sexy voice.

You pulled away, suddenly remembering what you'd been doing when Dean interrupted you. "Wait--I-I need to shower first."

Dean groaned in annoyance. "No you don't."

You started to peel him off you with a light chuckle. "Yes, I do. I feel gross."

He pouted adorably. "For the record, I would make love to you on the sparing mat, right here, right now."

You laughed. "As hot as that might be, I really want to shower...I'll even let you join me." You shot him a wink and ran toward the door.

He realized what you'd said and turned to run after you, chasing you all the way to the showers. You giggled when he caught you, tugging you to him to kiss at your exposed neck and shoulders.

"Shower!" you squealed.

He groaned. "Fine, fine."

He practically dragged you into the bathroom, turning away from you to turn on the water before tugging you into the shower with him.

"Dean, our clothes--"

"They'll dry," he grumbled, fingers tugging on your shirt to lift it over your head.

You allowed him to remove it, neither of you paying attention to where it landed as he tossed it out of the shower. He did the same with his own shirt and jeans, followed by your leggings.

He spun you around, so your back was pressed against the cold tile, water spraying across your chest. He unzipped your sports bra and you allowed it to fall to the ground, revealing your heavy breasts to his wanton eyes.

"Fuuuuck," he groaned, lips attaching to your pert nipple.

You ran your hands through his hair as he continued his gentle assault on your breasts. His lips didn't leave your chest, even as his hands trailed down to slowly peel off your underwear.

He slipped two fingers between your folds, collecting your slick and pressing firmly against your clit. You moaned softly at the sensation, head falling back against the tile.

He removed his fingers, slipping them between his lips and sucking them dry. "I need more," he murmured hungrily.

He dropped to his knees and grabbed your right leg, slinging it over his shoulder before you could utter a word. You started to complain that you needed to wash the sweat off first, but he ignored you, tongue sweeping between your folds without a care.

Any protests you may have had were lost as he worked his magic on your pussy. Your fingers twisted into his short hair, head back, mouth open, drowning in the pleasure he was giving you. You were thankful for the tile you leaned against and his strong arms holding you in place as he feasted on you.

Your legs began to shake and you cried out his name seconds before your orgasm hit you, sending you spiraling into bliss. Dean didn't want to stop, but your hands weakly tugged on his hair and your legs began to buckle, so he pulled himself up to keep you from falling.

"Delicious," he whispered against your mouth as he pressed another kiss to your lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him closer to you and he shifted to press his body tightly against yours. You gasped as his still clothed member brushed against your thigh and your hands instantly slid down his body to rid him of the annoying fabric.

"Wanna touch you," you begged softly.

He groaned, but pulled away from your reach.

"Dean," you whined.

"Shh, let me wash you first," he insisted.

"But--"

He cut you off with a kiss. "Let me worship you before you touch me--I wanna make this about you."

Your expression softened and you leaned into him. "I love you, Dean."

Your voice was a low whisper, but he heard it all the same. You hadn't said the words earlier, a fact he had been trying to ignore. Hearing you say them now nearly had him throwing all his plans for the next week out the window--wanting to do nothing more than worship you from dusk to dawn for the foreseeable future.

"Dean?" you whispered warily, concern filling your eyes.

He used all his self-control to push his own needs and wants aside. "I heard you, baby," he assured you. "I heard you."

His kiss was gentler this time, sweeter even, and it warmed your body from the inside out. He broke away, panting, a whispered "I love you" pressed into your skin as he made his way down your body and back up again.

After what felt like an eternity, he grabbed the shower gel and loofa and slowly began to lather you up, washing your body in a surprisingly sensual way. When he finally decided you were clean, he helped you under the spray and made sure all the suds were rinsed off.

"Can I touch you now?" you begged.

He smiled warmly. "I suppose I can allow it." He forced his voice to be steady and calm, despite the desire screaming inside of him--begging him to take you well and properly.

You sunk to your knees, gaze lifting to meet his. You gave him a shy smile before taking his cock in your soft hands. He was larger than average, but you weren't afraid of the pain. Instead, you focused on giving him the same intense pleasure he had given you.

When you wrapped your lips around his cock, his head fell back and a groan escaped his parted lips. His fingers danced across your scalp, gathering your hair to one side so he could see you properly.

"Shit, sweetheart," he mumbled. "You're taking me so well."

You moaned around him, pleased with the praise he offered you. You continued to work him, using your tongue to caress and tease him in ways he'd never experienced before.

He wasn't at all surprised by your skill, but he was surprised by how damn good it felt. Sure, it had been a while for him, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a blow job that made his knees weak--if ever.

"Shit, baby," he whispered. "I'm so close--gonna cum for you."

His fingers raked through your wet hair and he used his other hand to lean against the tiles behind you. His hips jutted forward slightly as you relaxed your throat, taking him as far back as you could.

You flattened your tongue against his cock and flexed it, repeating the motion a few times before Dean's grip on your hair became painful and he exploded into your throat with a cry of your name.

You swallowed everything he had to give you, not releasing him from your lips until he pulled away, forcing the two of you to separate.

Dean leaned back against the shower wall and pulled you towards him, trying to support his weak legs while also helping you up. Once you were on your feet, he tugged you into him and placed a feverish kiss to your lips.

He panted heavily when he finally released you from his tight grip, allowing you to suck in some much needed air.

"Where did you learn how to do that thing with your tongue?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

You smirked. "It's a natural talent."

He grinned. "Well I fucking love it."

You laughed and leaned back into him, capturing his lips in a sweeter kiss. "So what are your thoughts on continuing this elsewhere?"

"Well my plan was to make you moan my name for the next several hours...I don't care where we go, as long as you're willing to let me ruin you."

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily and you moaned softly, biting into your bottom lip to keep the sound from being too loud. "My room?"

"My room is closer," he murmured into your shoulder.

You smiled and backed away from him, causing him to pout. You turned the water off and continued to back out of the shower. You grabbed a towel and wrapped it around yourself, which only served to upset Dean.

"What do you think you're doing?" he growled.

Your eyes widened. "Putting on a towel so we can go to your room..."

"Did I say you could hide your body from me?" His tone was shockingly dominant and a spark of need went straight to your core.

"No," you whispered.

"I didn't think so." He stepped forward, dominance oozing from every pore in his body. "Drop the towel. Now."

You gasped softly, but heeded his command. The towel fell to the floor and he took yet another predatory step in your direction.

"Don't you ever hide yourself from me again. I wanna see every inch of your body." His hands grabbed at your hips roughly, tugging you towards him forcefully. "You're mine, do you understand me? Mine."

While the idea of someone owning you would normally piss you off, in this context it was a shocking turn-on. You swallowed thickly as you stared up into his heated gaze, suddenly unable to move, or even breathe.

He leaned down to kiss along your jaw towards your ear. He breathed slowly against your skin, causing you to shiver and clutch his arms for support. "Is this okay?" he whispered, voice still gruff, but much more loving.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to form actual words.

"Baby, I need you to tell me with your words. I need you to say whether this is okay or not. I don't wanna do something you're not into."

You turned your head a little so you could see his bright green eyes. The look in his eyes was reflected in your own and there was no doubt or fear in your voice when you answered him. "I'm very into it."

Your reassurance was all he needed to fall back into the dominant role. "Then you'd better get your ass into my bed before we have a problem."

You turned to open the door, yelping slightly when his hand smacked your ass. You shot him a surprised look and he looked slightly sheepish.

"Sorry, baby...I couldn't resist. You've got a great ass."

You smirked at the compliment and gave him a little wiggle before rushing into the hallway and making a beeline for his bedroom door.

He was surprised by your teasing action, but it only made him smile. He chased after you, mumbling, "Oh you're in for it now, princess."

You giggled as you landed on his bed, crawling up towards the headboard as he came through the doorway. He shut the door behind him and stalked to the edge of the bed, fiery gaze locked on you.

"It's unfair how sexy you look right now," he growled. "Makes me wanna fuck you senseless--make you scream my name until your voice is hoarse."

You gulped, trying to hide behind false bravado. "Are you going to do that from the other side of the room?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't be a brat."

"Why don't you come here and do something about it."

Dean practically jumped onto the bed, climbing on top of you and caging you beneath him in seconds. His cock was hard again, pressing against your thigh--a reminder of how badly he wanted you.

"Not so mouthy now are you?"

"Dean, I--"

"Hush," he murmured as he leaned down to kiss you. He shifted just enough so his cock brushed against your core, and you gasped into his mouth.

"How badly do you want me right now, (Y/N)?" he asked, voice rough with need.

"I've never wanted you more," you answered honestly.

He groaned lowly. "How do you want it? You want me to fuck you into this mattress or take it nice and slow?"

"Fuck me into the mattress," you begged softly. "Please."

"Jesus--I love when you beg for me," he growled.

"Fuck me, Dean," you pleaded. You weren't above begging, especially when it came to him.

Dean gripped his cock in his right hand and lined himself up with your entrance. He started to push in, trying to move slowly to avoid hurting you as much. "You're so fucking tight, baby," he whispered against your lips.

You gripped his biceps harshly, nails digging into his skin. The stretch was unbelievable, both painful and pleasurable all at once.

"You okay?" he whispered softly.

You nodded.

"Babe," he said in a warning tone.

"I'm okay--keep going."

He continued to push into you and your back arched as his cock brushed against your cervix. You whimpered at the feeling of fullness, and Dean struggled to remain motionless until you told him it was okay to move.

"I need you to move, Dean--please."

He pulled himself up slightly and started a very gentle pace, still allowing you time to adjust. The last thing he wanted was to make this painful or uncomfortable for you. He didn't give a damn about his enjoyment--all he wanted was to watch you fall apart over and over again.

"Your pussy feels incredible, baby," he groaned. "I could stay here forever."

He began to move more quickly and your breathing became more erratic as you reveled in the pleasure of the moment. Your moans were like music to his ears, spurring him on as he slid into you again.

"I love the sounds you're making, sweetheart. I wanna hear you."

He picked up his pace and shifted you into a new position so he could get even deeper inside you. You cried out as he hit your g-spot, pussy clamping down on his cock in response.

"Shit--" he groaned. "You're squeezing me so tight--taking my cock so fucking well, gorgeous."

Your back arched again and your head was tossed back, pressing into the pillows at the head of the bed. Your hands twisted in the sheets, unable to reach his arms or his back as he slammed into you repeatedly.

He knew you were close, but he wasn't ready to feel you cum yet. "Look at me, baby."

He waited until your hazy eyes met his.

"Don't cum until I tell you to, understand?"

Your eyes widened. "But, Dean--"

"Not until I give you permission," he said firmly.

You nodded rapidly, not wanting to risk your orgasm altogether.

"Good girl."

You moaned loudly and your pussy clenched tightly around his cock, causing him to echo the sound.

"Fuck, baby," he groaned. "You like it when I praise you, huh? You wanna hear about how much I love this pussy? How I've been thinking about fucking you for years? How I've craved your body?"

You were practically breathless beneath him, unable to formulate a response or even acknowledge his words.

"Your pussy is fucking perfect," he continued. "Made for me. And this body? Gorgeous and soft and fucking delicious. Can't believe I get to touch you like this--make you feel so good."

"Dean, please," you begged breathlessly.

"Not yet, sweetheart."

You whimpered, but continued to focus on staving off your impending orgasm.

"Who owns this pussy, baby?"

You didn't answer--too focused on not cumming until he gave you permission.

His grip on your legs tightened, bringing your attention back to him. "That's it, pretty girl, look at me. Tell me who owns this pussy."

"You," you gasped out.

"That's right. This pussy is mine. I'm the only one who gets to touch you like this--make you moan and whimper and scream. No one else."

"Only you," you cried.

"Fuck--" His breathing had become ragged and he had begun to struggle to keep himself from orgasming.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what, baby?"

"Let me cum!" you begged.

Dean decided to take pity on you. "Cum for me, baby."

"Dean!" you screamed as your orgasm ripped through you. The pleasure so white hot and blinding you nearly blacked out.

Dean helped you ride out the waves of pleasure before lowering himself back down to hover over you. He placed soft kisses to your heated skin and whispered, "You're so damn beautiful when you cum."

You were gulping down mouthfuls of air, but you heard his whispered words. "I love you," you murmured.

He groaned softly. "Love you more."

He picked his pace back up, intent on giving you another orgasm before allowing himself to cum.

It didn't take long for him to work you back up, letting you hang on the precipice of blissful pleasure once more.

"You feel so good beneath me, baby. I love watching your pretty face as you fall apart. I just can't get enough of you," he admitted.

Your nails dug into his back, indicating you also couldn't get enough of him. "Dean, I need more," you pleaded.

"Touch yourself for me, baby. I want you to cum before I fill you up."

You lowered your hand down and slipped it between your bodies. You found your clit with ease and began to gently toy with it, sending pulses of toe curling pleasure up your spine.

"Fuck, yes. That's it baby. God, this pussy is addicting...don't ever wanna stop."

"So close," you whimpered.

"Yeah, sweetheart? You wanna cum?"

"Please, Dean."

"How badly?"

"Dean," you whined.

"Be a good girl and tell me how badly you wanna cum for me and maybe I'll let you."

"Please-please-please," you begged. "I wanna cum so bad. I need to cum, Dean, please!"

As much as he loved prolonging your orgasm, he couldn't bear saying no to you. "Cum for me, sweetness," he whispered into your ear.

Your body began to shake as the dam broke once again. You cried out as the pleasure invaded all of your senses, overwhelming you completely.

Dean began to chase his own high, desperately needing to fill you up with his seed. "You're the only woman who makes me lose control," he whispered into your skin.

You were surprised by his words, but they warmed your heart. Dean wasn't the kind of man to lose control often, so the fact that you made him do so was a massive ego boost.

"I wanna feel you fill me up, Dean," you murmured. "Need your cum inside me."

"Fuck," he growled, teeth grazing your pulse point.

His hips began to stutter as he reached his peak. Your nails scraped along his back, giving him the last push he needed to fall over the edge. He came with a guttural growl of your name, ropes of hot cum filling your pussy.

His arms started to feel weak as his orgasm came to an end, and he collapsed on top of you, crushing you beneath his larger frame. You couldn't have been bothered to care if he'd literally smothered you--you were too fucked out to form coherent thoughts.

After a while, Dean managed to pull himself off of you, only to collapse on the bed beside you. He reached for you, strong arms wrapping around your waist to tug you into his chest.

"You're so damn incredible, (Y/N/N)," he whispered into your shoulder, lips pressing soft kisses there. "I don't think I've ever cum that hard--and you managed to do it twice."

"I can't feel my legs and my head is fuzzy," you mumbled. "So I second all of that."

Dean chuckled softly and held you even tighter. "I love you," he murmured. "More than you'll ever know."

"I think I have some idea," you whispered back. "And I love you just as much."

Dean smiled, feeling truly happy for the first time in as long as he could remember. He knew he should get up, help you clean up and all that, but he couldn't get himself to move and you weren't complaining. In fact, your breathing had evened out and he had a feeling you'd be asleep soon.

He kissed your shoulder one more time before resting his head comfortably on the pillow, feeling more relaxed than he had in a while. Just as sleep threatened to claim him, he heard his brother's voice from the other side of the closed door.

"While I'm super happy for you both, I have one request. Next time the two of you decide to fuck each other's brains out, could you at least have the decency to wait until I'm gone? I can't un-hear any of that!"

You laughed lightly and you could feel Dean's laughter rumbling in his chest from behind you.

"We'll do our best," Dean called back. "But no promises! She's simply too hot to resist--you never know when I'll get the urge to ravish her."

You laughed even harder, but you reached behind you to lovingly smack his hip.

"Ohh gross, dude!" Sam grumbled before walking away, leaving the two of you alone again.

"You're so bad, Dean Winchester."

"I didn't hear you complaining when I was making your legs shake ten minutes ago."

You tossed him a grin over your shoulder. "I didn't say it was a bad thing."

He matched your grin. "Touché, my love. Touché."

[anassemblageofpassions]

Honestly repo man showed the difference between sam and dean’s hell trauma better than nearly anything else could have and shows how neither of them will ever exactly ‘understand’ one another’s experiences.

Because deans abuse was not personalized the way Sam’s was. It was very much black and white, pure horror, pure pain, no room for grey. It was horrific. It was 30 years of being tortured and 10 years of torturing. It seems to have been mostly physical, with I’m sure plenty of verbal abuse.

Lucifer’s torture of sam was personal on every level. It was an undisclosed, impossible amount of time spent torturing sam in every way, physically, mentally. Lucifer knows every inch of sam. He and sam have been each other. And while sam hates and is traumatized by it on every level, he’s also bound to it, to him. There are shades of grey.

At the end of the day, dean has no bond to Alastair other than victim and pupil. He’s able to get out of hell with no warm feelings towards him whatsoever. At the end of repo man, dean is utterly incapable of understanding Jeffrey’s relationship to the demon, and callously blurts off ableist rhetoric at his actively hallucinating brother.

But Sam understands Jeffrey. He understands wanting your abuser, even loving him on some level. He understands understands loving being possessed. Sams mind literally could not function without some version of Lucifer around to be a presence in his life so it literally created one for him.

And I think this serves to isolate sam even further from dean, I think it’s the final straw that makes sam “want” Lucifer. Because he doesn’t have dean, he doesn’t have a “stone number one” who could ever understand his point of view. The only one who does is Lucifer. And that knowledge is enough to finally make Sam’s mind decides to amp it up, decide that it’s time to die, because he is truly, truly alone in this reality. He cannot live without Lucifer because he has to live without dean. Dean will never understand.

And I think that fundamentally is a big part of why we see the beginnings of Sam’s quieter demeanor from now on, and possibly a part of why he didn’t actively look for a way to resurrect dean. Season 7 is about completely isolating sam from everyone. And this isolation remains for the rest of the show.

And that’s the thing, from season 4 onward sam and dean fundamentally do not quite understand each other anymore. Oh they know each other better than anyone (except Lucifer on Sam’s part), they do get each other, but at their core they do not understand each other. Sam cannot understand what Dean went through, more torture than he could comprehend, and dean cannot understand what sam went through, because he experienced more torture than the human mine can comprehend and it was so fundamentally different. Sam is bonded to Lucifer in a way dean was not to Alastair.

And this misunderstanding drives the remaining conflicts of the series. Dean cannot live without sam, he would do anything to bring him back, sam can live without dean because he understands that he is alone in a way that dean doesn’t, he can abide by their promise to one another in a way dean could not. Dean doesn’t understand Sam’s complicated relationship with possession and its association with personalized abuse, he doesn’t understand how violating gadreel is.

Neither sam nor dean see themselves as people, but where sam sees himself as a someone else’s possession, dean sees himself as a weapon. Even in how their respective titles as vessels, dean is Michael’s sword while sam is Lucifer’s true vessel. Dean is a weapon, Sam is an empty shell. And season 9 illustrates that fundamental difference, sam yet again as a vessel for someone else, dean becoming the ultimate weapon with the mark of Cain. Dean became a weapon in hell, and sam became whatever Lucifer wanted him to be. Dean spends the rest of the show a weapon and sam spends the rest of the show molding himself to whatever others need him to be while simultaneously being no one. A vessel and a weapon.

And then Dean gets a hint of personalized abusive connection with amara. Dean gets possessed. And then he realizes he’s not in control of his own life. Late seasons dean is realizing what sam learned long ago. And he fights kicking and screaming to regain that semblance of control that he always had, a fight sam already fought in season 4 and 5. They still don’t understand each other. They still react in such fundamentally different ways.

And it also all comes down to how they were raised. Dean a weapon, Sam a vessel. John a weapon, Mary a vessel. And despite all of that, he developed his own sense of self Dean never had. So in a way, supernatural is about dean having accepted himself as a weapon from the start and ending the show viewing himself as a person. Sam starts the show viewing himself as a person and ends it as a vessel. Maybe it’s something he escapes in those years after deans death. But I’m inclined to doubt it, at least truly.

Sam and Dean love each other more than anything, but they will never understand one another, and that chasm only grows as the show goes on. Even after dean goes through some of Sam’s experiences, and even after sam goes through some of deans, neither of them will understand. At their core it is how they were raised, how they were created and conceptualized.

In the end, it comes down to chucks finale quote: “dean Winchester, the ultimate weapon.” And he doesn’t add anything for sam winchester. The ultimate vessel.

[scoobydoodean]

I've noticed people often point to Donatello as the model soulless person and then argue the sharp contrast between him and Sam as proof that deep down, Sam is just a really shitty guy who has terrible thoughts that he manages to keep under wraps only with a soul. I don't think this is that fair of a take.

I think using Donatello as the contrasting character is cherry-picking and that Donatello is a very poor comparison for Sam. Donatello is more of an exceptional soulless person than a rule. We see multiple examples in season 11 of other people losing their souls. Several go crazy and murder people like feral animals. None of them have the ability to feel right vs wrong—they just understanding the existence of the societal rules they've grown up with, and either accept those rules or don't based on what they believe is in their best interest. Previous traumas also seem to play a role.

Someone like Donatello has never been through anything traumatic that we know of, and he's just a professor. He has no need or incentive to kill anyone and no previous traumas that might induce him to want to harm anybody. Intellectually, he likely understands rules as a good way of maintaining societal order. He also understands that if he breaks the rules, he's going to get in trouble and lose his job, go to jail, etc. He isn't a fighter. He's just a professor and all he wants to be is a professor. The biggest moral quandary he deals with on a daily basis is whether to bump a student's course total up half a point to get them to the next letter grade. His goal is simply to continue being a professor. The rational option for him is to be a model citizen whether he can feel what the right thing is or only understands rules on an intellectual level.

The core thing soulless Sam tells you about Sam is that being a hunter is the occupation he finds most interesting (or else he'd go do something else that he found more intellectually fulfilling). All he cares about is killing monsters and capturing alphas and the intellectual fulfillment he feels when he clocks a witnesses lies (6.06) or solves the latest case puzzle. Fulfillment isn't nearly so cut and dry for Sam with a soul, because he has to deal with emotions which create more conflicting goals and desires than simple intellectual stimulation.

Hunters live lives where they are constantly faced with moral dilemmas that normal people will never face, and they know how to escape legal consequences. This is what makes soulless Sam such a dangerous hunter and why the outcome is so different from someone like Donatello. Soulless Sam's most rational option is not necessarily the societally acceptable one. Sometimes there is no societally acceptable option or any written rule that encompasses the complexity of the actual situation. Normally, hunters will "feel" out what's right and what's wrong in these situations. Soulless Sam identifies this ability as something he lacks. Sam recognizes this as a hindrance at first and wants Dean to fill that role for him (6.01, 6.06, 6.08). However, he also slowly begins to think that maybe other hunters are the problem and are hindered by their emotions and that he is better because he's capable of pure efficiency-based rationality. This is why he lies to Samuel, lies to Dean, and keeps secrets from Dean for Samuel (6.06, 6.07). He wants their help to reach his own goals, but increasingly sees their potential emotional reactions to his actions and each others actions as an inefficient hindrance that will impede the mission.

Letting a vamp turn Dean isn't something Sam with a soul would do or likely even think to do. This is the guy who went on two multi month revenge quests after his brother was killed (3.11, 4.01/4.09). With a soul, he cares about Dean's safety—even when he pretends he doesn't. He's hurt and killed people for hurting Dean or to keep Dean safe and he's been willing to hurt and kill more (example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4, example 5, example 6). Soulless Sam also has no reason to want Dean harmed unless it benefits him. There is nothing in him to love Dean, but there's also nothing in him to hate Dean. When he sees Dean being turned, and stops in his tracks, and smiles, it isn't actually because he's taking pleasure in seeing Dean being humiliated. There's nothing in him to feel hate toward Dean like that. Even hate like that would require a soul. Why Sam is smiling—what he's taking pleasure in—is seeing his plan come together—a solution to the issue of "find the alpha vampire". He immediately realizes he has an "in", and because Dean is merely a tool who can benefit him, his suffering that occurs in the process doesn't matter to the equation—just what Soulless Sam can get out of him. Using Dean, he's solved the latest intellectual puzzle. The same thing happens in 6.10 when Meg is on Dean's lap with a knife, making sexually suggestive commentary. Sam laughs—and Dean at first thinks it's because soulless Sam enjoys seeing him being treated that way, but Sam tells us he's laughing because he's figured Meg out—because he realizes she's desperate and scared of Crowley. Laughing at her takes also takes away her sense that she has the upper hand.

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Sam & Dean are, in fact, soulmates

It’s rant time again! (Sorry)

I saw an idiotic interesting take on Twitter last night where someone claimed that Sam and Dean aren’t soulmates, and that they couldn’t understand how anyone could interpret it that way (particularly referring to "Dark Side of the Moon"). And they actually wondered what show soulmate-truthers (my term) were watching.

Umm, the actual show?

I’ve paraphrased the comment slightly and replies slightly, and I’m not posting a pic of the actual post, because I’m going to try not do that on this blog, but also, this person is just like the others in the replies (and in fandom) who “interpret” the show a certain way because it suits their destiel narrative. They all drank the cool-aid, so why single one out? At the same time, this take shows so little media literacy that it pisses me off. Thus, the rant.

Please do read on if you’re interested.

One argument I saw under this tweet was that Dean needed to find a road to lead him to Sam, so it proves they weren’t in the same heaven.

Wrong.

If they weren’t in the same heaven, Dean wouldn’t have been able to find Sam. Period. We know this because Ash has to do a little spell thing in order for them to leave their heaven (“Winchester Land”) at all. They can’t just jump heavens on their own. We also see this in later seasons. People just don’t hop into each others’ heavens without some sort of help.

Another stupid argument I saw is that Sam and Dean can’t be soulmates because "they’re BROTHERS!”

Wrong Again!

While having a soulmate is often (maybe even most often) seen as a romantic trope, being soulmates is actually not inherently romantic. Let’s even just stay on the WB/CW level for this one for a minute. Dawson and Joey consider themselves soulmates in Dawson’s Creek, but they don’t make a good couple, they work better as friends, and they don’t end up together. While they aren’t entirely platonic, them being soulmates ultimately isn’t about romantic love either. Sorry, I stumbled onto a reactor watching this show lately, so it’s fresh in my mind. You could also make arguments for Xander and Willow, Joey and Phoebe, or Christina and Meredith (Grey’s Anatomy calls it “my person” being science-based, but it amounts to the same thing). Ultimately, being soulmates just means two people have an incredibly close bond, love each other dearly, understand each other on a deeper level than most, and often need each other. Despite what some hellers think, not all love and closeness is sexual or romantic. Finally, if someone sees being soulmates as having to be romantic, they should probably take it up with Kripke.

Anyway, let’s round this rant off at three flawed arguments with this one: people are “free” (passive aggressive) to interpret the episode how they “like,” but Sam and Dean bring soulmates is not actually supported by the episode.

Ugh!

Why the hell would the writers have Ash even mention soulmates in the scene at all, if it wasn’t to tell the audience (and the boys) something important about the characters? Knowing that soulmates share a heaven isn’t necessary to the plot at this moment (if they aren’t soulmates). We have been told people have individual heavens in most cases, so we don’t need to know the soulmate exception to generally understand how heaven works. But we do get this bit of exposition because 1) it tells us why Dean was able to find Sam on his own (with no spells, even though people don’t usually share a space), and 2) because it tells us the info that they are soulmates, bound together no matter what. It deepens their whole tangled up relationship, for better or worse. Is it a bit unusual for brothers to be soulmates? Yes! That’s the whole point. Sam and Dean are weird. This is not news. Where have these people been for the last 4.5 seasons??

Also, Ash looks directly at Sam and Dean after he drops the soulmate bomb. And each of them looks uncomfortable. The scene takes a beat here, a short one but it’s clear, so the audience can acknowledge this info. Why would the camera focus on the characters’ reactions if the soulmates line was a just a random little nugget of info? People hellers will write whole distractions on the significance of “parallels” between characters and “interpret” scenes using head-canons as support, but they can’t don’t want to understand that the camera lingering on the brothers when they learn information about themselves is significant? Also, it suggests in the script that Ash looks away from them to give them a minute to process this info. Why would he care if it didn’t pertain to them? (Hellers. Have. No. Media. Literacy.). Sam and Dean are soulmates. It’s canon.

Also, this is another episode but it adds confirmation. In 15x20, Dean feels Sam on the bridge in the new heaven before he sees or hears him. Thus. Soulmates!

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

even as someone who does not ship the brothers (or deancas), i feel that there is no denying the heavy handed undertones of romance between them, and the writers' very intentional and frequent exploration into incestual themes, if one is truly understanding the show. however, it's also my understanding that a lot of hellers/deancas people/whomever use a frustrating argument that "sam doesn't really know dean" when in reality, he will always know dean better than cas. thats the whole point of the show. when dean and sam 'betray' each other from the other's persepctive, the person doing the betraying genuinely believes they are acting in the other's best interest, whereas with dean and cas it's always for personal benefit.

to stop the rambling, i wanted to ask, purely in interest of seeing multiple sides: if so many hellers were not so anti-sam and did not project so much onto castiel, do you think the fandom at large (outside of that group) would have less of an issue with the ship? again, i am genuinely curious and you seem both well established in the fandom and well versed in the show itself. i feel as though where other shows do have beef between shippers and such, the supernatural fandom is watching two completely different shows and so many of them are bypassing crucial parts.

Hey Anon!

I don’t ship Wincest either (though most Wincesties I know are cool), and I REALLY don’t ship Destiel. But, I do joke about brother husbands a lot and love the brothers’ codependency. Still, I don’t think the writers are actually ever suggesting there are true romantic feelings to Sam and Dean’s relationship. Or maybe I should say, I don’t think canon (or subtext) Sam and Dean are actually (even secretly) hot for their brother. However, I think the romantic parallels and even outright nods to incest are very deliberate (and obvious). Partly, it’s on brand for the horror/gothic genre of the early seasons, but it also serves the purpose of highlighting how important Sam and Dean are to each other. They are each other’s soulmate, life-partner, and number one, which are usually roles reserved for couples. Also, I think the show just likes to make jokes as well. It’s clearly deliberate when the show goes from having characters assume they are couples, to villains making incesty remarks about them, to Dean asking if Sam wants a divorce.

I agree that Sam knows Dean better than Castiel, or anyone else. And Dean knows Sam best. That being said, they don’t understand each other perfectly, and they speak “different languages” in terms of showing care a lot of the time. Sometimes this is works in a complimentary way that has them in sync (Dean loves his family, especially Sam most, and Sam needs to be Dean’s number one), and sometimes it causes friction between the brothers (Dean letting Gadreel inside Sam or Sam trying to cure MOC). But, I agree that MOST of the time when they “betray” each other it’s when they are trying to help each other, or at least it’s a byproduct of something they feel they need to do. They never treat each other as expendable. And I also agree that betrayals between Dean and Castiel just hit different. I think this is because 1) they don’t have the same obsessive love underlying everything they do to/for each other (despite what hellers think), 2) they are more brothers-in-arms than true adopted famoly until later seasons 3) Castiel is not human, and I believe that Dean (however subconsciously) treats him differently because of that, and Cass not being human also changes his view of the fallout his actions will have with the people he cares about, and 4) I agree that they both betray each other out of personal interest in thst they value other things/people more highly than each other quite often (Dean will always value Sam above all, and Castiel often values whatever mission he is on above the brothers or is at least willing to risk them for it to an extent).

Feel free to ramble in my asks whenever you like. Clearly, I do it too, so no judgement here.

My short answer to your question is … yes. If hellers didn’t hate on Sam in a transparent attempt to make him seem less important both to Dean and to the show in general, I doubt Sam girls would care that people shipped Castiel and Dean. It’s the attempt at twisting canon and down-playing Sam that is frustrating. And yes, the projecting added significance onto Castiel is massively annoying because it shows a lack of understanding of the show, whether purposeful or due to ignorance. And that annoys everyone who cares about the “fscts” of the show. It’s also their insistence that Dean is bi … because reasons (often offensive, stupid and/or steryotical) that annoys the people who actually enjoy Dean’s true chracter, not the fan-fic woobifued version of him that hellers (and some AAs) fawn over. But, I think what pisses the fandom at large off the most about hellers is their insistence that they get their way and the tantrums they throw about being “robbed” when a ship that was clearly never going to sail in the show continued not to happen. More specifically, their need to hate on actual actors, writers, producers, networks and other so called “homophobic” fans who don’t agree with them is abhorrent to many.

I agree with your final sentiment completely. It is like Supernatural is at least two totally different shows, depending on which type of fan you are talking to. I mean, there are arguably more than two versions of the show in collective fans’ minds, if we consider which of the brothers a group sympathizes with most and how they interpret the chracters’ actions (Sam is a whiny brat … Dean is an abusive monster 🙄). But, out of all the fan groups, there is only one who seems to be "watching" a piece of media that does not even resemble the actual show … and it’s hellers.

And to be clear, I’m not talking about Destiel shippers in general here, but hellers in particular. No one I know, including me, cares if people ship Dean and Castiel for their own enjoyment, but it’s the insistence they are right and attempted rewriting of canon (and threatening real people) that makes people ragey.

Anyway, thank you for your ask. I’m sorry my reply was so long. (This is likely one of the reasons I don’t get a ton of asks, lol).

[eisforeidolon]

I feel fans should be able to interpret shows and characters any way they want but it really bothers me that shippers die on the hill of Dean is such a closeted bi sexual and Sam is the biggest heterosexual out there. I love these characters because they are extremely toxic and codependent on each other. The story would not be the same with out that. Why would anyone look to Supernatural to be their all time gay representation love story when it most obviously is not. it just blows my mind how out there Destiel shippers are and how much they truly hate this show and hate Dean without even realizing it. I need someone to figure out how we can get rid of them from this fandom...LOL

Yeah, IDGI either. Fandom is supposed to be about just having fun however you want with the building blocks from the canon + your imagination. It's not even the main point that they're hilariously bad at interpretation, project too hard onto the characters to even see them, can't understand context to save their lives, pointedly ignore a million things that directly contradict their agenda, and too much of their so-called proof is actually gross backwards stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity (neither of which they seem to understand very well at all). If they were just having fun with it, who the fuck cares? Sure, it's annoying, but a lot of fandom is annoying because it is so specifically tailored to things not everyone is gonna like. There are other canons with fans who are fine admitting they just like playing in the canon world but not the canon itself that much.

No, the problem is hellers are not content to just enjoy their non-canon interpretations in fandom. They feel entitled to flood any and every tag associated with the show, trying to demand their interpretations be considered indisputably canon fact because ... reasons ... and anyone who doesn't agree with them is A Bad Person because ... they say so. Their ship is the greatest love story (n)ever told, the best representation evar in media! It's the only important thing about SPN - and if they couldn't change the canon, they can change the fandom narrative! The fact there's actually no there there under their overblown thousands upon thousands of words of inept meta is why the very suggestion it's not canon, that someone doesn't see it as the greatest thing ever, that maybe Dean is actually just a heterosexual instead of putting on an elaborate performance of one or even that Sam might not be the straightest character ever written? Is taken as an attack upon their self-declared status as the real main audience. Which makes sense, because they never were. SPN was anything but subtle as to what its actual focal relationship was.

To some extent I get how they echo-chambered each other into believing their ship was/would be a thing in canon. If you just look at the size of the piles on piles of cherry-picked nonsense they accumulated over the years without actually engaging your brain to see how variously flimsy, out of context, or how many other more sensible interpretations there were for any of them? If you wanted to believe and surrounded yourself with others who did, too, and kept talking each other up, spending way more time doing that than watching the show? It's no wonder some of them ended up with really skewed expectations.

What I don't get is how they're still going this long after the show ended. SPN is over and there's no more 'Well, next season for sure!' to promise themselves. There are increasingly more stories out there now in a variety of media which are centering deliberately, openly LGBT+ characters and relationships they could invest in championing! Hell, just saying screw canon and burying themselves in writing their idea of "better" fanfic is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with disappointment, no matter how self-inflicted. Instead, they're still here making up elaborate conspiracies about how SPN was something other than what it blatantly obviously always was - because admitting they were wrong and the only thing they ever liked about it was their own OOC fanfic very, very loosely based off of it? Well, that's more than a bit embarrassing in light of how long they spent campaigning and how vehement they were about it totally being not just A Thing but The Most Important Thing Ever. So I don't know what would actually get them to move on, they clearly love being miserable and wrong and pretending to be martyrs over it far too much for me to comprehend.

[paarthurnax59]

“Never to be”

images is not mine (Also,I know I suck at this, so bare with me)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader( unrequited), Reader X ???

Summary: Dean left you for Lisa and Ben after Sam fell into the pit, told you to never contact him again, among other cruel remarks on his part. Years later you moved on, starting your own life and finally meeting a man who truly loves and cares for you. What happens when your past comes back to invade your present and tries to jeopardize your future.

warnings; Super angst (but with a happy ending), Dean's a major dick, swearing, slight physical violence, reader feeling low self-esteem.

words: 2280

Just so you know, I know Dean would not act like this, it's just a fic. if you don't like it, please do not engage if this kind of content is too sensitive for you. there will be five parts to this story. I don't own any of these canon characters. they belong to their respective owners.

part 1

May, 2010

“Dean, what are you doing?” You questioned Dean as he stopped the Impala by the Laurance Bus Station in the middle of the night. Dean said nothing, not even looking at you as he got out the car and went to his trunk and pulled out a tote bag. He proceeded to come to your door for you.

“Get out.” He said coldly as you looked up at him with confusion on your face.

“What, Why?” You asked as you still sat in his car shocked that Dean was acting as cold as he was right now. You would understand due to the fact he had just lost his brother, forever. A person he had looked after and promised to protect since he was four years old. That would make anyone act the way Dean was right now. The weird part was why was he acting this way towards you. Like you were a pest he needed to be rid of to find peace.

“I want you to leave, (Name). Isn’t it obvious?” Grunted and took your arm and pulled you out of the passenger seat roughly, making your legs stumble out of his car. You heart rate went up drastically when you nearly fell form how Dean was pulling you out of the car.

“Why?! I don’t understand, Dean.” You whispered with shaky, heavy breathing looking up at his burning gaze staring down at you with an what looked like, an amused smirk.

“Do I need to spell it out for you, (Last name)? I don’t want you around anymore. I am going to go live with Lisa and Ben, and I don’t need some little girl that follows me around like a helpless lost puppy.” He spat out his venomous words while your face started to become pale as the blood started to leave your face.

“Dean…we have hunted with each other for years. You have known me since I was five. You can’t just kick me out of your life like we didn’t mean anything.” You heartbrokenly explained to the angry man in front of you. Sure, Dean wasn’t always your biggest fan. You were more of a friend of Sam’s then of Dean’s. Sam was about seven years older than you and Dean being elven years older. Despite your age gap, you and Sam got a long great. Watched movies together, go running, and do night-long research. You two were thick as thieves, and when he died, you felt like a part of you died with him. Hoping Dean would fill that void, he would become what you wanted and you two could live out your life together. Over time, aside his dislike for you, you had fallen in love with Dean, and hoped he had felt the same.

Boy, were you wrong.

“Can’t I? Sam’s no longer here, honey. Which means that I don’t have a reason to have you in my life. So, get on that bus and we can finally part ways and I don’t have to keep you dragging along.” Dean got closer to you and you took a step back, fearing what the hunter would do. He dropped the large tote bag right at your feet while giving you a hard scowl.

“Dean, you are grieving. You just lost Sam, and I can imagine that pain you are going through. I feel it and I miss him, too. He deserved so much better than what he got. But making me leave is not going to make you feel better.” You try to reason with the older Winchester, but all he did was just got angrier and then pulled your hair by its root and forced you to look up at him and screamed from the pain Dean was inflicting on you.

“Kid, Sam was the only reason I ever tolerated you on our hunts in the first place. If he were not part of it, I would have dumped you at any bus station and get you as far away from me as humanly possible.” He confessed through gritted teeth with his hand still griping into your hair. You felt like you were going to be sick with what Dean was saying. He never liked you? Not even as a friend? “I don’t need to be a perpetual babysitter for some scared, little girl on hunts when I can go live with a very beautiful woman and have a happy monster free life.” He grunted again as tears started to stream down your face with Dean’s cruel words started to sink in. He thinks you are a coward?

“Dean, let me go. You’re hurting me.” You cry as Dean refused to give in to your demands.

“No. You need to listen and listen good, sweetheart. I had promised Sam that I would drop hunting all together and live a normal life with Lisa. He didn’t say anything about promising to look after you. You’re a grown ass woman and you can defend yourself. I don’t need to baby you and most certainly don’t need you in my life. Hell, I never needed your sorry ass to begin with. Me and Sammy were doing just fine without you and I can live my life without you always being a clingy, needy and never letting me have my space. I’m tired of it and of you. I’m exhausted of having to take care of you, looking out for you and protecting you, when I should have been protecting Sammy and my friends, people that I care about.” He said with not an ounce of remorse in his voice. The more Dean told you how little you meant to him, the more your heart broke. Was it true? Were you nothing more than a burden to Dean? Did the time you spent together mean nothing to him and Sam? What if Sam felt the same way? What would Sam say if he were here? Would he agree and tell you to leave?

“Once you get on that bus, I am leaving for Lisa, a gorgeous woman who is far more deserving of my time and my companionship than some girl that can barely fight for herself. I’m going to leave this life and everything behind, especially you. You are nothing more than a useless, stupid bitch that had been nothing but a burden from day one. Getting kidnaped by werewolves, almost eaten by vampires, I had to watch the people I love die, like Jo and Ellen because they told me to go and protect you. They are dead because of you!” He accused you as he threw you aside, with you nearly falling to your feet. You try to catch your breath while trying to not let Dena’s horrible cruel remarks get to you. He knows how much Jo and Ellen’s death weighed on you. You were very close with both women, and it hurt so much to see them die like they did. Like Sam, they never deserved a fate like that. You never once believed it was your fault, until Dean that night told you that Jo and Ellen had made Dean promised to protect you. Which is why he focused more on you than the others.  Since then, Dean had held a horrible grudge against you. He blamed you for his friends’ deaths. You often wonder if he would trade your life for them in a heartbeat. Knowing how much Dean hated you, he most defiantly would. As the air grew cold and brittle, Dean held out his hand as he glowered at you. “Give me your cellphone.” He demanded while importantly holding out his hand to you.

“Why?” you asked and then Dean’s blood really boiled more as you kept making him wait.

“Just do it!” He yelled and you did as he asked and grabbed your phone and placed it in his hand. Dean then dropped it and proceeded to smash it with his foot on to your phone, making the sight made you gasp in shock, Dean continued to smash your phone repeatedly until it was broken into hundreds of tiny pieces.

“Why did you do that!? That was my only phone!” You yelled with hot angry tears streaming down your face. Had Dean lost his mind?

“So you don’t try to contact me or anyone else I may care about. I don’t want nor do I need to hear from you again. You made me sacrifice my friends and my brother’s lives for you and so many others before them. The least you can do is never contact me again and get on that bus to wherever the hell it’s going because I am done throwing my life away for you. If you want to die on a hunt, be my guest! I don’t need you dragging me ever again.” He huffed out with so much anger and hatred, you wanted to die right then and there. Never in your wildest dreams did you think Dean hated you this much. It was killing you just hearing these horrible things being said to you by a man you once called a friend. “Once more, you can’t put Bobby, Jody, or anyone else’s life in danger because of you. You’re not worth it, princess! You never were! So why don’t you just take that fucking bag yours, get on that fucking bus and get the hell out of my life!”

 You paused for one moment, still trying to process at what Dean was telling you. That he never cared, nor did he see you as anything but a damn burden and deadweight. Hell, he would probably dance on your ashes if you were to die the next day. After everything you went through, after everything you had sacrificed to help the boys stop Lucifer from ending the world, you think Dean would have acknowledge some tender emotions for you. Not as a lover, but as a friend or a sister maybe. No, instead all you received was a deep seeded hatred that was birthed only from the very notion that you weren’t good enough for the great Dean Winchester.

With a very heavy heart and cascading tears, you did as Dean said and picked up your bag and threw the strap over your shoulders and walked to the bus station. Dean watched with a stoic expression as you walked away from him. Walking up to the bus as the driver opened the doors for you.

“Where to, miss?” The white old man asked with a kind smile as he looked at you. You then looked behind you and looked at Dean one last time and saw that his hatful scowl on his face had never left and folded his arms in a way that screamed ‘You better get on that bus or else.’. With a single heavy sigh of bitter defeat, you looked back at the old man with a sad smile.

“Anywhere but here, please.” You requested.

“East coast it is, then.” He said as you walked up into the bus, showed him your bus pass, and walked to the back of the bus. You looked around and saw that there was only two people on the bus. A man in his mid-forties was taking a nap and an older woman who looked like she was reading a book. The buss doors closed, and the bus then started to move and out of the station. You look back the bus stop one last time to see Dean climbing into his Impala and pulling his car out of the bus station. You watch as Dean’s black car drive the opposite direction. As far away from you as humanly possible, just like Dean wanted. To go and live his perfect life he always craved. Leaving you with no phone, no contacts, and no friends to lean on. As you watched the night sky fly by through, you thought about where you were going and what you were going to do. You didn’t know nor did you care. You were alone to not only to wallow in your grief for Sam, but also for Dean abandoning you. For to completely be caught of from the people you loved and tried so hard to protect. It made you wonder if you a better hunter, fought harder, and able to save Jo and Ellen. Maybe even Sam, and even if it meant sacrificing your own life. As Dean said, you weren’t worth it.  Never will you obtain the love nor the friendship that he had to offer others. Your cries became silent sobs as the bus continued to drive further away until you passed a sign that said, “You are now leaving Kansas.”  

 This was it, you were leaving Kansas. The only home you ever knew. Nothing was stopping from what was happening right now. Never again were you going to see Dean or Sam every again. You felt it in your bones and it broke you, never sure if you were ever going to be whole again.

Never knowing if Dean would ever be able to love you like you loved him.

Maybe, just maybe, it was never to be.

Part 2

[ruinedsam]

I have so many thoughts concerning a supernatural where Hallucifer was actually part of Lucifer, so I’ll do multiple asks to prevent an essay in your inbox. There’s even more potential angst of Hallucifer also being a bit of Lucifer tagging along with Sam out of the Cage when we get to season 11. Most of the seasons proceeded as in canon, except Lucifer has been there the whole time for Sam because Castiel was unable to fully remove Lucifer’s grace because weakened or not, Lucifer’s an archangel and there’s a bond between Lucifer and his true vessel that Castiel can’t fully break. Castiel and Sam had a fairly tense dynamic for a while because Sam understandably had issues here over Castiel nearly breaking his mind, knowing what was at stake because Castiel was one of the people warning Dean over the possible consequences. But they eventually reach what they do in canon and consider each other friends, and we get to the point when Sam enters the cage. Lucifer has been aware of everything topside, because part of his Grace has been with Sam the whole time, and we see just how well Lucifer and Sam have grown to know one another over the years. I think we should have seen some kind of bond exist between angel and true vessel, so yeah, there’s this weird sense of “I know you because you are me” and Sam occasionally gets flickers of Lucifer’s thoughts because Lucifer has been a part of Sam this whole time; Sam has explicitly linked it to the demon blood at some point in a parallel of “I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean.” Demon blood vs angelic possession but this angel is considered the father of demons and Sam was only fed the demon blood so Lucifer could rise. But vessel shenanigans are going on and over time, we’ve seen Sam gradually adopt some of Lucifer’s mannerisms. Dean sees him one day and just can’t shake this feeling of dread crawling up his spine but he doesn’t know why, Sam’s actions are at once terrifyingly familiar and jarringly strange; he goes to his room and we see a flashback of Lucifer!Sam in “The End,” with current!Sam’s behavior being something Dean saw Lucifer do then. Anyways, Sam still heads to the Cage and says no, but Castiel says yes as in canon. It needs to be that Sam and Cas have only recently gotten to a stable place in which Sam actually trusts him, so that right when they’ve recovered from Cas breaking his wall, Castiel chooses to let Lucifer in; he is the one who didn’t notice Lucifer was there with Sam when he got Sam’s body out of the Cage, he is the one who broke Sam’s mind to neutralize Dean and Bobby, and now he is the guy who almost let Lucifer around Sam unknowingly. But I also think that due to having spent years with Lucifer, Sam knows Lucifer, better than anyone, so when Lucifer!Castiel shows up the first time, Sam immediately knows who it is and calls him out. And far from being upset or angry that his disguise was blown, Lucifer is thrilled because here is the undeniable proof that Sam knows Lucifer, Sam will never be able to ignore this now because Dean was fooled yet Sam knew within a minute. 1/4

👀👀👀👀👀

Oooh this is delicous 🥰That there is some inextrincable bond between an angel and their vessel would make so much sense! I really like the way this dooms Sam. He's Lucifer's true vessel and there's no way to escape that. Lucifer will always be with him in some way. And of course Castiel wouldn't be able to break (or necessarily even recognize) this bond, he's just a regular angel.

Oh man I would have so loved to see this on screen! Jared is so good with subtle but noticeable mannerisms that distinguish the different characters, it would be amazing to see this over the course of some time, obviously not all viewers would catch it but for those who'd do the payoff of the reveal would be so good!

I find it really interesting to think about how Sam would perceive these things, especially when he has these flickers of thought from Lucifer. I like the idea of him not being aware of it at all, he and Lucifer are so enmeshed it doesn't register that thought didn't come from himself. But I also like the idea of Sam being aware of it and interpreting it as a trauma response and being like help I'm so fucked up I'm starting to think like Lucifer. Or he could be aware that he's receiving thoughts from the actual Lucifer, having to face that he and Lucifer are still linked, he may be out of the cage but that doesn't mean he's escaped from Lucifer...

Castiel letting Lucifer free behind Sam and Dean's back just after he and Sam started to have a good relationship is evil, so obviously I love it. And yeah Sam should notice it's Lucifer and Lucifer should be so pleased it about it!!! Sam and Lucifer knowing each other in ways no one else does is so close to my heart <333

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

Possessive Lucifer {1}

Chapter Summary; You dress up to go on a hunt, something Lucifer isn’t to keen on. However, with a warning to anyone who dares touch you, he sends you off. That, and a little souvenir to remind you that you’re his.

Pairing: Lucifer x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: 1/2

Word; 3.700

Warnings; nudity, suggestive themes

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing​

A/N: So here’s the first of many drabbles for the SIN (Soulmates in nature) series. It was one of the first one’s I had planned and is a favourite troupe of mine for our beloved archangel.

MAIN MASTERLIST

It wasn't often you brought out your makeup. It wasn't often you needed to balance the few, yet essential, products on the edge of your sink to not slip down and break. Nor was it often you stared at yourself, hopeless of how you would be able to follow the tutorial playing on your phone.

"How can someone get good at this?" You mumbled as you attempted to follow the makeup artist's guide on 'how to succeed with your eyeshadow not appearing like a blob of diffused colours'. Their title a bit more eloquently put than your thoughts.

"I don't even understand why you humans think that makes you look more appealing". You dropped the small brush from your eyelid, shooting Lucifer a glare over your shoulder.

"If you could poof makeup like hers on my face, then I know you would change your mind", you huffed, using the makeup brush to point at the person creating a masterpiece on their face, one you tried to copy.

The devil cocked a brow at you from where he leaned against your dresser. "Who do you think I am?"

"I don't know. Genie?" You shrugged, turning around and examining the parts of your makeup that were better and the areas where it... wasn't. "Even though I wouldn't say no to his help, I don't think he would be as powerful as you".

"Flattery will take you nowhere when putting that paint on your face is far below what my powers can, or if I could, should be used for".

"I take back my statement. Genie is more powerful", you grumbled, reaching down to replay the part of the video you'd missed while speaking to Lucifer, not too thrilled you had to bite the lemon of doing your makeup yourself.

Hunting often didn't crave much of you, not much more than a potentially fucked up sleep schedule. You didn't count the gamble with your life. However, tonight was one of those few times you needed to dress up for a hunt.

Sam and Dean had found a case where people ended up dead with claw-like marks marring their chests, faces or any other places you could think of. According to official reports, a wolf was behind the attacks. And though many things about the physical encounter also pointed towards werewolves for you guys, after some investigation, you'd ruled out the lunar worshippers concerning the heart of each victim was intact. However, a particular part of the brain was always missing.

It had meant nothing to you when the doctors mentioned all victim's pituitary glands had been removed, other than a feeling it was more than an eerie coincidence. Although, to Sam and Dean, it had been the clue to solving what monster you were after. A kitsune.

You'd never run into a kitsune, heard of them from lores and stuff but never needed to hunt them. However, Sam told you that it wasn't weird concerning this particular fox-like creature was a rare occurrence. And yet, this Kitsune didn't hide in the shadow of the night. On the contrary, the incredibly normal-looking guy you were after was a successful businessman hosting a party to celebrate his newest project. Dean had joked that maybe the sicko eats brain as some kind of symbol for his own further success, as he'd said: 'Doubles the brain power, you know'.

Although thankful that you'd managed to get hold of tickets to the party, something you still don't understand how the brothers accomplished, you weren't all too excited about it. You barely owned more clothes than those suited for hunting and leisure, which meant you'd needed to go out in search of a formal dress.

You almost gave up, stole the Impala to flee back to the bunker, all while convincing Dean over the phone you would find something wearable in your closet, which you wouldn't have accomplished. But you didn't even come further than almost giving up, seeing how you didn't even succeed in persuading the older brother why you needed the keys to his baby. Instead, Dean hooked his arm in yours and dragged you along when he figured out your plan, stating that if he needed to suffer, then so would you.

In the end, it had been worth getting dragged along, seeing how you returned home with a dress you at least could admire for the rest of your life after tonight. Jewells decorated the bust, the stones fanning out the further down the eye journeyed until they gave away to fabric in a silky shade of sage, the material falling until it reached the floor.

Yes, it would be the prettiest thing you owned by a mile and for that reason, you hid it inside the cover you'd received when you bought it until the very moment you needed to put it on. In other words, you were scared to ruin it as you played with what you considered adult finger-paint.

"Can't get better now", you mumbled to yourself. The video had paused once it reached the end, so you cancelled the upcoming one in between attempts to touch up some parts of the makeup to get as close to perfect as possible. If someone would ask you, it didn't do much, but you could always hope a more experienced eye would say differently.

"Finally done?" You heard as you turned, finding Lucifer in not much of a different position than ten minutes ago.

"Nothing better to do than stand there and stare?" You shot back. Although he only shrugged in response, you doubted the archangel didn't have anything to say.

Lucifer's eyes flickered over your face, his head tilting as he, without a doubt, took in your dolled-up look. You couldn't fend off the twitch of your lip, which not long after curved your mouth into a smile, witnessing him so transfixed with you. And upon noticing your reaction, the devil's eyes swiftly found yours.

"Eating up your words yet?" You teased him with a chuckle.

"Still think it's unnecessary", Lucifer replied, seemingly unbothered, though the way he said it a bit too curtly spoke against it.

"Very well, if you've stayed for this long, there's no reason I should shoo you out when you can help me into the dress", you said as you walked over to your open door, which was the single place you had been able to hang up your dress, and hooked of the sealed package.

"Have you missed the wings, or do you just decide to ignore them?" You glanced over your shoulder as you closed the door, finding Lucifer pointing to the iridescent entities resting beside him.

"They're still very much there", you began as you wandered over to your bed, putting down the garment bag and sipping it open. "But I don't think you'll say no to seeing me naked, so something you have to pay for doing it", you continued, wiping your hands on your robe just to make sure no makeup resided on them before pulling out your dress.

"Pay to do it, you say?" Your gaze rose when Lucifer's voice sounded closer. He moved up alongside you, hands finding your hips as he stopped.

"Perhaps not, but you can spare a few favours for your mate, I believe". You looked up at the archangel as he brought you closer to him.

"That so?" Lucifer cocked a brow. "What would I get in return?"

"Well...", you pulled the word out. "Seeing me naked?"

He tipped his head back and forth as if truly contemplating your offer before his lips quirked. "Sounds fair".

"You better think that", you scoffed, taking a step away to pull at the belt of your robe and letting it fall to the ground. A low whistle was heard, and though you felt a heat enter your chest as Lucifer shamelessly let his eyes roam your body, only covered by your skimpiest pair of panties, you shot him a look.

"No bra, how dirty", he commented, gaze lifting to meet your unimpressed glare. "Could practically skip these as well". The devil reached forth, hooking his finger in the black strap curving over your hip and making it snap lightly across your skin as he let go.

Shooing away his hand, you bent forwards and plucked your dress out of its cover. "I said you can look, not touch". As you saw one of his hands stretching forwards again in the corner of your eye, you took a step to the side and held your dress in front of you, angling your body toward him.

"And, I want to be at least a bit comfortable as I wear this". You jostled the piece covering your front before continuing. "Neither do I want any ugly creases, so have it".

"I'm not complaining", he smirked, to which you rolled your eyes.

"Of course you aren't".

Your eyes widened, a gasp escaping you when Lucifer's hands shot out, anchoring on your lower back and pulling you against him. No matter that your dress was kept in place by how closely your bodies pressed together, your fingers curled further into the fabric.

"Someone's becoming bold". The devil cocked his head, gazing down at you.

You swallowed at his tone, feeling the earlier heat spread and conquering his radiating chill, which seeped so softly through the fabric of your dress. Despite the flush sensation, you raised your chin when his words echoed in your mind. "And what if I am?"

"Dangerous thing for the naked one to be".

"Dangerous? I hardly think that".

"Perhaps not dangerous", he hummed, eyes falling from watching yours to the heave of your chest. "But... pushing your luck".

You arched a brow, head shifting to the side. "And what happens if I continue to push?"

"What do you think happens to a vixen who plays with fire?" Lucifer's hands travelled down your back, beneath the sharp black line of your panties, until they caught by his wrists, naturally stopping his movements.

Your mouth opened, but rather than words leaving your tongue, a sharp breath wheezed past your teeth, only to escape your lungs a second later when the devil groped your ass, his strong hands bringing you to your toes as he forced you further up his chest.

He gazed down at you, head tilting as his blue eyes darkened. "What I wouldn't do to see you so prettily ruined right now".

Your mouth ran dry, a warm shiver sweeping over your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. "I should be thankful that your ever-so-good moral keeps you from doing it then". A low sound escaped Lucifer as you said this.

"I should be recognised as a Saint for it", his voice had dropped and you couldn't help but mumble your reply thanks to this.

"Mhm, so will the to-be-crowned Saint help his mate with what he promised?".

"I remember no promise".

"Lucifer", you sighed. Even if he cheekily groped your ass one more time, he flashed you a smile, releasing you and stepping away so you could unzip the dress.

The devil followed your every move. His eyes burning seemingly all over your skin at once as you slipped into the dress. The material was cool as you pulled it up your body, the rhinestones pressing against your palm as you held the garment against your chest, preventing it from falling,

When you turn around, the zipper sways with the fabric and taps against your skin. You wait for Lucifer to help you secure the dress, but when you don't feel him step closer and the chilled zipper continues to rest against your lower back, you glance over your shoulder.

You find his eyes gliding over you, not hurrying to meet your gaze. It's a slow sweeping motion up your back, the curve of your shoulder, until his blue eyes finally settle on yours. You arch a brow, but Lucifer only shrugs at you before he steps closer. Deciding to not argue or tease him about the bloom of something you feel through the bond, the one he admittedly tries to downplay, you look forward.

A light touch at your lower back and you know he's found the zipper. When the knuckle of his finger slides along your skin right before the tightening of the fabric, you know he's relieving you of the task of keeping up your dress at the front. You know he's closed the entire thing when Lucifer's other hand raises to fasten the hook at the top to keep the pin in place.

There's a slight pause before you sense how he leans closer, not long after, how his lips find the easy excisable skin at your shoulder. You don't let him press more than two pecks along the curve of your neck, knowing where he would end up if you allowed him to continue on his path.

Taking a step forwards and out of his reach, you turn on your heel, almost catching on the dress' trail. "I don't want you ruining any of this before I even leave for the hunt". As you said this, something in Lucifer's demeanour changed. A dark bolt of lightning struck in his eyes as his lips pursed into a thin line.

"You're going out like that". It wasn't a question, more so a statement as the devil remembered you didn't only dress up like this for fun, or him.

"Lucifer-", you began, but before you could finish the sentence, one of his hands slipped into the slit parting over your left leg to possessively grip the backside of your thigh, the other engulfing your neck to keep your wide eyes pinned on him.

"If anyone looks at your wrong, if anyone touches you, if they dare even think about you, they're dead". Lucifer's voice was chillingly cold and yet something lit on fire in your lower stomach as the words dripped like venom from his tongue.

"Okay", you breathed, taken off-guard by his sudden display. The devil noticed -not because you made any effort to hide it- cocking his head with a smirk curling his lips.

"No rebuttal?"

"If I would've, it would jeopardise my makeup and concerning how my hair already is living close to the edge of surviving, I can't risk it". There was still the ghost of a smile adorning Lucifer's lips as he watched you.

He leant down then and you tried to move away, but he simply held you in place by your neck. The hand grasping your thigh found its way out from the fabric, sneaking upwards over your waist, then ribcage.

You wanted to struggle and complain about the hand burying itself further into your hair, but as if the archangel could read your thoughts, he spoke before you could voice your concerns.

"They're only gonna see if you move", he mumbled against your lips before his head dipped down.

He trailed kisses from your throat and downwards, light ones starting where your makeup didn't reach and you felt more of his stubble than the pillow of his lips. As if it already wasn't hard being still for the sake of your appearance, it became even harder to not squirm upon what he did next.

Lodging his thumb beneath the bend of your jaw, Lucifer tilted your head backwards. His head dipped to the edge of your dress to counter the movement of your head while his hand trailed upwards and over your breast, tugging slightly at the fabric covering it. As soon as the bejewelled part separated from your skin, his lips found the newly exposed part of you.

Your hand shot to the back of his head, curling into his blonde locks when he let his teeth graze you before his lips attached and he sucked at the supple skin.

A breathy sound passed your lips and though you knew you should tug at his hair until he relented with his action, you didn't have enough strength to do it. And so, you simply let him work the bruise into your skin.

It didn't take long before the telltale sting where his mouth rested upon you reached the surface and the whimper escaping you was Lucifer's sign he'd succeeded with what he wished and eased up not soon after. A kiss to the spot he'd concentrated on, his finger unhooking from your dress to let it drop back, a nudge to the back of your head and you gazed upon a smug-looking Lucifer again.

"See, no harm done". Your eyelids dropped close and you let out a heavy sigh at the devil's comment.

You shook your head, feeling the amused jostle of his body. "Depends on what you're talking about". You opened your eyes once more, the creases in the corner of his eyes more accentuated as his grin broadened.

"The pretty paint on your face, of course".

"You really live up to your name sometimes". You stepped out of his arms without any resistance this time.

"Was given it for a reason". You caught the smugness coating each word as you glanced down, finding that the hickey Lucifer created was just about covered by your dress.

"Thanks for that. I practically won't be able to move without someone seeing this", you concluded, eyes darting to the devil.

"As I said, don't move and they won't see it", he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Menace", you grumbled, not caring about continuing the argument -and how that definitely wasn't what he'd meant for the phrase to imply earlier- knowing very well that Sam and Dean soon would be knocking at your door if you didn't hurry up.

Moving to your bed, you sat down to step into the flats you would wear to and from the venue, snatching the heels you would torture yourself with in-between as you stood.

When you headed to the door, you caught yourself in the mirror above your sink. Stopping in the middle of a step, you turned to look at your reflection.

Even though it could've been worse, you brush your fingers through your hair to smoothen down those stray strands that Lucifer was the culprit of sweeping out of place. And, just as you thought about him, your eyes flittered to watch him walk closer in the mirror.

Hastily turning around, you faced him as you pointed at him to stop. "Oh, don't you dare". The archangel raised his brows.

"No goodbye kiss?"

Albeit feeling a tingle in your lips upon his suggestion, you scoffed, not falling for his attempt at making you look as tousled as you felt. "I think you've done enough kissing". You replied, moving towards the door and heading out of your room with Lucifer in tow.

The second you walk into the library, you find Sam and Dean dressed in black smokings. Albeit the younger one lounged in one of the chairs, seemingly unbothered by the not so often seen attire on either of them, the older of the two was pacing, repeatedly tugging at his collar.

"You two clean up well", you called out just as Sam turned to you, a gentle smile spreading as his eyes scanned your appearance.

"Thank you, though I think you'll be the one convincing people we belong at that party".

"Thought your brother was the charmer", you reply.

"And I thought I signed up for being a hunter, not an undercover spy dressing up all cute". You couldn't help but snort at that, shaking your head with a smile. "The sooner we get going, the sooner I'll be out of this", Dean continued, not waiting for either your or his brother's confirmation that you were ready before heading towards the stairs with long strides.

"I take that as our cue". Sam stands from the chair, making an over-exaggerated bow and a sweeping moment with his arm, showing you should take the lead, a 'my lady', following his move.

Not even before your lips could twitch into a smile at the display, a voice sounded from behind you.

"Careful, Sammy, don't want your outing to end before it even begins". Your eyes meet Sam's as he rises to his full height before both of you turn to watch the archangel standing behind you.

Lucifer's arms were crossed over his chest, face fixed into something that could be mistaken for a relaxed look, even if it so evidently wasn't. There was an underlying tension in his body, irritation flaring in his eyes and you saw how he worked his jaws as his gaze was set on the hunter behind you.

You switched to look to Sam when you saw him shift in the edge of your vision. Now his hands were raised, head tipping slightly.

"Duly noted". Compared to the younger Winchester's reply, you only rolled your eyes. If Lucifer was moody enough to snap at Sam about something like this -something he practically never was concerned about- you don't know if you looked forward to leaving him to cool down or feared he only would mull over it until you returned.

Turning on your heel, you move towards the devil, settling on the middle ground to your earlier train of thought.

As you near, Lucifer's eyes finally settle on you, eyebrows raising when you stop before him. Without any further ado, you lean up, planting a kiss on his cheek. At your back, you can practically feel how Sam does anything but look at you and Lucifer, still not entirely -even that was a stretch- comfortable with either of you well... living up to being soulmates.

"Didn't think you wanted to say goodbye", the devil retorted, arms remaining overlapped in front of him. Stubborn. You roll your eyes, knowing very well that if Sam wasn't present, they would've fallen to his or your side.

"Neither did I, just attempting to calm you". Lucifer cocks a brow, forcing you to give him a look when you see an argument arise, even if he hasn't worded it yet. "Don't deny it".

"Not denying anything", he countered curtly, leaning down so your shared breaths. "But I don't discriminate when it comes to carrying out my warnings".

"Aside from me". You pecked the archangel's lips, not fully catching the edge of his words, only trying to distract him from his own attitude with the brush of your lips. "Be good". While he stands tall again, he briefly closes his eyes and raises his brows, which you deem enough of an answer to turn around and save Sam from the awkwardness of examining the roof and finally head after Dean. Brushing past the heat -and not the entirely pleasant kind- rippling through your bond.

Taglist: PS, I tagged the same people as in the original series, if any of you don't want to get tagged in the updates for this series (drabbles, one-shots etc) just give me a heads up!

@the-fiery-ghost @ambivertedcroissant @xthefuckerysquaredx@americancowgirl19 @wayward-winsister @itsmeempar @alizayalove @aliceblxck @canyouimaginethatstory@musiclovinchic93 @eyghim18 @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog@emiliasaffron @batavrahamvsara @fanfic-love-show@imagine-inc @randomheart551 @jana-jaeynneee @ay0nha @brooklynchrr420@shippinglover @bun-dpdbny @tardis-world@blonde-in-charge @jokersqueenofchaos @baybeekenzie1@fandomgeekforever @perilous-blue @mistress-sassafrass @book-of-anarchy @nerdettezebracorn333 @herlovetragedy @coolbean121@bagsy-not-it @abbyss @taikawho @sagyunaro @dementedsnowfox​ @kcam1621​  @acaotch​ @crispycooter @browneyedgirl22 @misstress-sassafrass @bun-dpdbny​ @imagine-inc @enby-thesbian​ @stradlingmrstradlin​ @violetlilites​ @luciferslittledevil666​ @butterflykiisies​ @antisocial-thing​ @destinationdesignation​ @big-bad-batsy​ @yournightmare-1987​ @tuttifuckinfruttifriday​ @brujaporfavor​ @galaxypox​ @whitetigerlover17 @loki-is-loved​ @leeannlips-blog @here4thespice​

[cor-ardens-archive]

Dean/John Sam/John AND Sam/Dean incest triple threat let's GO

straight off the bat i can say i've never been able to even visualize sam/john, it's so weird to me! nothing against people who like it, i just don't see that fitting their relationship or the characters, whereas i do see dean/john as something that fits seamlessly with canon.

spn really evokes incest constantly, because the show is -- well, it's gothic, a kind of americana gothic. even without necessarily making it text, the terrors in spn involve dysfunctional families, child abuse, transgressive relationships, blurred boundaries, domestic horror, etc. dean/john is actually brought up textually more than once, though in offhanded and easily dismissible ways. (dismissible if you're not inclined to engage with it, but inescapable if you're inclined to see it.)

it's like. if you assume dean and john engaged in an incestuous relationship nothing about canon needs to change. in fact, it explains a lot about dean's character. he was groomed, that's already a fact, and i find it impossible, personally, to not connect it to incest. the way dean was made to fulfill a role of caretaker, not just taking care of sam but also taking care of john; his unwavering loyalty and obedience; his adoration of john and then his bitterness and acknowledgement that john was a terrible father who hurt him in irreparable ways; the fact that, despite knowing this, he'll always love his father; the way his position within the family has prevented him from "being with a woman"; how hell is still about john, always ("daddy's little girl, he broke") etc. etc. i love it. it's one of my favorite relationships of all time, and it's essential to my understanding of dean as a character, and how i feel about him. it’s the appeal of john as a character as well, his endless contradictions, how he behaves around his sons. he’s the demonic father-lover.

sam/dean is essential to me as well, in ways that are connected to dean/john. in a motherless household with a neglectful, abusive (and yet sometimes loving) father, the children don’t develop healthy boundaries, and that’s part of survival too. i think that aspect of it is sad (that their intimacy and mutual devotion are a response to childhood abuse and neglect) -- but it’s also beautiful that they could find that kind of love in those circumstances. and yet it’s not entirely idealized -- there’s intimacy between them, but there’s also a gap, a distance that makes their dynamic more compelling. they know each other better than anyone else, which gives them both the capacity to hurt the other more deeply than others could; and yet there always parts of themselves that they conceal from each other or which the other can’t entirely comprehend. that’s part of what makes their relationship so fascinating.

these are just some aspects of sam/dean that i like, but there are so many others, and anyway there’s so many people talking about them and analyzing their relationship much better than i could! but i love them, they’re so fucked up. they’re cathy/heathclif for the cw.

[augustonly]

so I want to talk about samdean & sadism (reluctant sadism?) & hurt/comfort but I’m putting it below the cut in case it’s triggering for anyone!

based off of my previous post about sam realizing dean has a major caretaking kink and then being manipulative and weird and playing into, I’ve been thinking that at some point faking or exaggerating injuries/nightmares just isn’t enough for sam anymore and he realizes he needs to be actually sick or hurt or scared and then comforted by dean.

I don’t think sam would actually having an open conversation with dean about this out of the blue, but I can see him being a little too reckless on a hunt and dean calling him on it. dean completely freaks out, and sam tries to explain. the scene I keep picturing is sam explaining that the only time he actually feels safe is when dean is taking care of him, and dean absolutely caving because sam - sammy, his baby brother - admitting to needing him? yeah.

“I make you feel safe?” 

“You’re the only thing that makes me feel safe.”

I don’t know if it’s sam or dean that brings it up, but they come to the agreement that dean will cut sam - just a little bit, just enough - because it’s better than sam doing stupid shit on hunts or getting into other dangerous situations.

“You come to me when you need this, you understand? You don’t throw a fucking hunt, Sam. You don’t go to anyone else, either. You come to me.”

I also don’t know if I view this as genuine wincest or weirdcest-with-extra-weird, I can see it going both ways. maybe it’s sexual for dean, but non-sexual for sam, and they also have to grapple with the concept of oh, so we’re both fucked up, but a little bit differently.

“You’re hard.”

“Thanks for the update on my own dick, Sam.”

“I could -”

“No. Just want to take care of you.”

my last thought on this (for now) is that, when he’s finished hurting sam, dean is absolutely obsessive with his aftercare. he disinfects each cut, wincing at the burn right along with sam, bandages him and then kisses over each bandage. he calls him sammy and baby and sweetheart and kiddo. when sam gets up to sleep in his own bed, dean is just like oh, no, nope, not happening.

“You’re sleeping in my bed, baby. C’mon, lay back down with me.”

[im-some-lionheart]

#Destielmonth22 Day 6: Trip

The great thing about having a car for a home, is you can go wherever you want.

So when things get a little too much and Dean's tired feet ache from dragging his blood-soaked combat boots through the bunker's floors, he knows, it's time for a trip.

Nothing fancy. Just him and Cas, listening to one of the mixtapes Dean's made for him, windows down, riding Baby for hours on end.

Sometimes other people join them. Sam prepares them organic protein bars, and Eileen knows the best spots to stop and get real food. Jack spends the entire time playing road trip games with Cas that Dean doesn't understand. Claire insists on playing music from her phone and tells Dean all about the new cool bands she's found.

Today it's just them, though.

The breeze breaks in through the half-opened windows, and Cas hums to a Queen song as Dean's fingers lazily massage the bottom of his scalp. Dean (left hand firmly on the wheel, right one playing with the love of his life's hair) just smiles and bobs his head to the rythm of the bass.

They're on their way to the beach, for the first time in Dean doesn't even know how long. And he's really looking forward to some margaritas and Cas in a swimsuit.

But first, there are some stops that need to be made.

A honey bee farm because Cas wanted to get some fresh, locally made honey. A fake haunted house because it seemed fun (it wasn't), and then a real one because Dean couldn't help himself.

In the end, it takes them two weeks and three hunts to reach their destination.

It could've taken more, knowing them.

And it would've been fine, truly. They're in no rush. After 11 years of mutual pinning, they know better than anyone that it's not about the destination but about the joy of reaching it.

The fun of their trip is not just in the waves and the ocean sunsets. It's in the hour-long battle to get a fly out of the car. It's in the way Dean's face lits up when they drive past a "Pie-eating Contest" sign, and in the look Cas gives him when they run into the third hunt of the trip.

It's in just being. And being together. That's the real adventure. And one they're way too happy to embark on each day.

[scoobydoodean]

the way bronlies are so obsessed that they’ve just become sam in the way they don’t like/won’t allow dean to have other friends 😭

it’s crazy to me, especially for a question whose different answers are both true to an extent bc your definition of “knowing somebody” is totally subjective!

lol that said, i am curious, soo… who do you think knows dean best, sam or cas? somebody else? do you think it changes over the seasons?

One of my friends was just saying that about bronlies and Sam sjhbfhsdhjf. Truly tho they're more insufferable than Sam's ever been. Bronlies are every spoiled child antagonist in every children's book. The Veruca Salt's of fandom. Miserable little cry baby brats screaming throwing tantrums trying to hit everyone with their baby rattlers... over Supernatural (2005) POLLS.

Their indignantion at that poll is pretty hilarious, because Sam doesn't start out the series actually knowing who Dean is at all. He thinks he knows who Dean is, but he doesn't, and this is illustrated to us over a dozen times in season 1. I do think Sam grows to understand who Dean is better over time, but he still sucks at understanding Dean for the vast majority of the series, because in many ways, he doesn't actually care to stop and think and study who Dean is and ask himself whether he actually knows him. He prefers an image he's made up in his head of who Dean is instead—an image that comforts him or bolsters his own self-image in some way. Dean is smart when Sam wants him to be smart and stupid when Sam needs to feel smarter (1.10, 1.16, 4.12, 8.14). Dean is strong when Sam wants him to be strong and weak when Sam needs to feel like the strongest person around (4.10, 4.11, 4.14, 4.16, 4.20, 4.21). Dean isn't opening up enough (2.02, 2.03, 2.04), then Dean is too emotional and soft and needs to get over it (2.10, 2.11, 2.14, 4.14, 4.16). Dean is a protector and nurturer who is failing to nurture and/or protect Sam adequately (3.09, 4.04, 8.23), then Dean is smothering (5.07, 8.20).

Basically, because Sam spends so much time trying to force Dean to fit into the shape he wants Dean to fit into, instead of actually trying to understand who Dean is, he often (unknowingly in some cases) completely lacks insight into who Dean actually is, and I'd say while he gets better at recognizing this, and better at understanding who Dean really is over time, surrounding certain subjects (especially things like grief), this refusal to see the actual real Dean continues through the entire run of the show (ex: 13.04).

I guess the question is then... is Cas actually better at understanding Dean than Sam is? And for me? Honestly I think it's a wash. I don't actually think either of them is Mr Amazing Perfect Dean Understander to be quite honest with you. I mean—practically Dean and Cas's entire schtick is perpetual misunderstandings bolstered by their own insecurities? They understand the important parts like that they each have good intentions and are good hearted, but I don't think Cas ever really understood how their repeated cycle of conflict made Dean feel. I don't think he ever understood how deeply entwined Dean's well-being became with his own, to the point that Dean was Not Fucking Okay when Cas was dead. I think Cas had a leg up in getting genuine insights into Dean's feelings straight from Dean for a long time because of the childhood dynamics and previous events that have made using Sam as a confidant uncomfortable and/or unsafe for Dean (2.03, 2.11, 4.14, 4.21, 5.01, 5.02, 5.03). I think Cas also understands Dean’s feelings more than he lets on and often acts on his perceptions of Dean's feelings without communicating those perecptions to anyone (and sometimes he's right... but sometimes he's also very VERY wrong).

We get a sort of back and forth with Sam and Cas understanding or not understanding different aspects of Dean's feelings or behavior. Think about "Nihilism" for example, when Sam and Cas walk through the darkness of Dean's mind, and Cas is shocked by the amount of trauma in Dean's mind and Sam just says, "Well. Yeah." But then compare that with 10.03 "Soul Survivor" where Cas was able to explain to Sam why demon Dean didn't want to be cured no matter how much blood they gave him. Sam didn't understand, but Cas understood Dean's perspective immediately (and that entire episode was a scathing commentary on Sam's lack of insight into Dean tbqh).

All of that said, I think I did vote in that poll and I picked Cas, and I would do it again. :) In fact, I will vote against Sam in any moment of uncertainty in any poll I see going forward, because bronlies are pathetic cry baby brats victimizing themselves 24/7 over Tumblr polls and can get fucked.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Freaks and Geeks: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

The kids are reluctant, but they listen to you. Mostly out of fear of what you'll do to them if they don't listen, but they obey nonetheless. The drive back to Victor's house is tense and awkward, but you make it in record time. The second you step foot into the house, you know something is wrong.

"Hey, we're home," Dean says.

You look to the left and see Sam tied up, Victor standing with a gun pointed at you and Dean, and the vampire in the hoodie behind him. He smiles and shows off his vampire fangs, immediately putting everyone on alert. Sam shakes his head silently, and you glare at Victor. You'd use your magic to fight him off, but you're scared of what can happen to the kids.

"What is going on here?" Josephine asks.

"These two are not to be trusted. They're trying to destroy us."

"Do you know this vamp, Victor?" Aiden asks.

"Of course he does! They're working together!" Sam urges.

"Is that true?"

"It's complicated," Victor sighs.

"Actually, it's not. See, blue van here's been turning fresh vamps and setting them up for you kids as easy kills," Dean glares.

"Why?"

"They didn't kill our families, did they?"

"No."

"Who did?"

"I did," the vampire smirks. "They all screamed and begged for mercy, especially the little ones."

"Enough, Seth!" Victor hisses. "You have to understand. I saw a way to make the future better. To get there, I had to do something hard."

"He killed them off your orders?" Krissy asks.

You look at Sam who is trying to get out of his restraints. One of your hands is hidden from the view of Victor and Seth, so blues magic mists around your hand. The rope around Sam's hand begins to loosen, and he looks at you when he feels them move. You loosen it enough so he can get out of it on his own.

"You needed motivation. I scouted each and every one of you, and knew it was the only way to get you to hunt."

"So you killed our families?" Aiden asks emotionally.

"I know, the deaths are tragic, but think of all the future lives that will now be saved because you are now together."

"So, these fake vampires were just a way for you to train us and fill our heads with lies?!" Krissy asks angrily.

"Don't you see? This is bigger than all of us. We have to learn to put things in perspective. Come with me. We can get past this."

Victor tosses his gun to the couch as a way to represent a truce. Dean is just looking for an opportunity to use his gun, but it's not now. Krissy and her friends have already made their decision as soon as Victor opened his mouth.

"No."

"That is unfortunate."

Victor looks at Seth, and the vampire grabs the kid closest to him which happens to be Aiden. As soon as Aiden's life is in danger, your maternal instincts take over. Magic explodes all around you, stopping the effects of time. Dean reaches into his pocket to use his gun, and he freezes when he has the gun halfway out of his jacket. Sam just got the ropes off, so he barely got out of his chair. Krissy and Josephine didn't have time to react just yet. Aiden looks scared for his life. Seth's vampire teeth are out.

You're careful not to touch anyone as you make your way over to Aiden and Seth. Your magic is sucked back into you and time resumes, and that's when the chaos happens. Aiden jumps from you being so close to him, and Seth opens his mouth to bite the kid. You grab Aiden's shoulder and push him out of the way before using your other hand to swipe across his neck. You let your magic slice through his flesh and bone until he's dead.

You turn to face Krissy and Victor when Krissy shoots one of her deadly darts at you. Thank God you have your magic or else you wouldn't have caught the dart. The pointy end of the dart is inches from your face, but you caught it nonetheless.

Krissy's eyes went wide at Seth on the ground, dead, and you with the dart in your hand, but she doesn't dwell on that for long. You reach out for Josephine, and despite both her and Aiden being scared of you earlier, they comply with your unspoken order.

"Stay behind me," you say and shine your eyes brightly, keeping both kids behind you and under your protection.

With Seth out of the way, Krissy takes out a small handgun and points it at Victor while Dean takes out his own gun and points it at Victor. You want to intervene, but this is Dean's moment with Krissy.

"Krissy, don't."

"If we want revenge for our families' deaths, he gives it to us!" she says emotionally.

"We don't kill people. You don't kill people," he says gently.

"He's not a person. He's a monster."

Krissy takes a few steps to Victor, and he backs up slowly until he falls to his knees in surrender.

"Krissy, this is where you determine who you are. Do you want to be a hunter or a monster like Victor?" you ask.

Krissy cocks her gun, and so Dean lowers his own and steps towards the young girl.

"Krissy, don't," he whispers.

"This is for my dad." She pulls the trigger, but there are only blanks in the gun. Victor doesn't know this, and he flinches at the sound. "For Josephine's family." She pulls the trigger again. "For Aiden." Again. "For me."

At each blank round being fired, Victor becomes more and more distraught thinking he is going to die the next time she pulls the trigger. When Krissy is done, she drops the bullets that weren't loaded into the gun. She drops them next to Victor's head as he sobs.

"So, we're just gonna let him live?" Aiden asks.

The light in your eyes dies down when you know Victor is not a threat to the kids anymore.

"Yeah," Krissy answers. "All alone with himself. No family. No friends. If you ask me, that's not much of anything." She turns to Dean with a determined look. "Let's save that girl."

While Victor is sobbing on his hands and knees, he reaches into his sock and pulls out an even smaller gun than Krissy's. Before anyone has a chance to do anything, he puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.

This time, he dies.

You can't say you're shocked.

You stayed with the kids while Sam and Dean rescued the girl who had not yet fed. She is confused and scared, but Dean makes the concoction that will help her turn back to human. All three kids take care of her until Dean pulls Krissy to the side. The young woman is quiet and confused, but she listens to your instructions and drinks.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I scared you earlier," you say to Josephine and Aiden.

"It's fine," Josephine shrugs.

"No, it's not. Look, you're not going to find anyone like me, so you don't have to worry about random witches trying to come after you. Though, I hope you two learned your lesson. There's hunting and there's suicide. Learn the difference."

Aiden and Josephine nod in understanding, but after a pause, you know you're being too harsh on them. They're only kids, and all they want is to do good in this messed up world. With a sigh, you sit on the coffee table and turn to them.

"Listen, unlike my husband, I believe people can hunt and have a good life. I try to prove that to him with our own kids every day. I want you to go out and have fun, go to parties, go to school, and learn to be a kid. If you want to hunt, then you have to be smarter about it. Train, learn, study, and maybe next time, you'll be better at it. If a monster comes to town, I have no doubt you three can take care of it, but don't go looking for it. Not until you're older, at least. Stick together, and I know you will become great hunters if you choose to be."

"Okay," Aiden says in a much better mood.

You pat their shoulders and get up, joining Krissy and Dean. Sam must already be in the car waiting, so you should be leaving soon.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready, we'll be in the car," Dean says to her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your aunt? Cincinnati? Normal life? We'll be there by lunch tomorrow."

"Look, I hate how we were put together, but I can't deny that it feels right. Why should I let Victor ruin that, too?"

"She has a point, Dean," you say.

"You're all still minors."

"Not for long. Josephine will be eighteen in a few months, and we all have a life and each other here."

"What about hunting?"

"We won't go looking for it, but if any monsters show up around here, they better look out," she grins.

"Sounds like they got it to me," you shrug.

"Well, I'm gonna have a guy come and check on you every once in a while, okay? His name is Garth. He'll make sure that you're alright and you got what you need."

"Garth?"

"You'll love him. He's great," you smile.

Dean holds out his fist to her so she can fist bump him, but instead of doing that, she leans up and kisses his cheek.

"Take care, Dean and Y/N."

Dean blushes, but you two leave seconds later. You take out your phone and let Garth know you're on your way to pick up your kids, glad that this case is over with.

"This is good. It could have been a lot worse," Sam shrugs.

"It will be if we don't shut those Gates of Hell soon."

"What do they have to do with any of that?" you ask.

"They're hunters now. You don't just walk away from that. There's only one way out of that, and you and I both know it ain't pretty."

"Dean, maybe they'll be different."

"Or maybe, if we shut that hell hole once and for all, those three can have a real life."

"You can have a real life and still hunt."

"You need to stop thinking like that because it's not true."

"Just because it didn't happen for us, doesn't mean it can't happen for anyone."

It's going to take a lot more to make Dean see things your way, but you're going to try your hardest to make sure your kids grew up differently than you, Sam, and Dean.

x

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[lovetransaction]

Happy DDF! After your answer to my last ask, I just gotta ask another because I love your takes I love John/Dean BUT I wanna get to know your takes on John/Sam. How do you think their relationship would start (if they have one)? Would it be more of a hate/anger fuck kind of thing? Would Dean be involved in it, maybe even the one to start it, or would they try to keep it a secret because they're afraid of hurting him?

HEE THANK YOU

John/Sam would be so different because Sam's need is very different. He doesn't have elder child syndrome; he's the baby! And SO MUCH the baby because he's been the most important thing in his family's existence his whole life, often without knowing the full extent of why. So he doesn't have the need for approval and validation like Dean does. He's free to find John overbearing and aggravating and whatever else.

But as much as I think Sam is the kind of person to enjoy a good grudgefuck, it's not at all John's thing (at least not with Sam. with Bobby or Ellen probably). I don't think they could involve Dean, not at the start, because Dean ... takes up a lot of emotional room. They both love Dean and know that Dean would be there for them without being asked, that he'd basically eviscerate himself for them, but he'd also never let them forget it, in his own Dean way.

So no, can't involve Dean. I think in a reality where Sam and John sleep together, it's when Dean is away and it's the two of them. And Sam is just starting to buck against John more definitively, but not enough to be more than teenage growing pains. I think he'd be at that point where teenagers are a little bit like benign sociopaths, where they don't fully understand empathy yet but they don't particularly wish harm on anyone. So Sam sees John as impressive, still; he's Dad, he always knows what's going on and what to do, but Sam fully believes that he's gonna be better than Dad when he gets old enough. He's convinced he'll be Dad's peer and partner, because Dean's the good soldier, after all. Sam's a good officer.

Sam pushes the issue. Sam sits too close to John and sometimes just stares at him and when John's drinking a cold one Sam will put his hand over John's and guide the bottle to his mouth and imitate the way he's seen Dean drink, that little parting of the lips, the little push of tongue, the slackening of the throat to let it sluice down, and John'll go, what exactly do you think you're doing, kiddo, and Sam'll smirk and say, you tell me! and slide his hand between John's legs, and John'll be in just the right good big dick energy from a successful hunt and a slushy blood alcohol level to wanna see where this is going. Which is a pretty good handjob that evolves into a better handjob as Sam watches for and interprets cues, and then John gathers Sam into his lap and murmurs, you can sleep in my bed t'night if you're not too old for that, and Sam's flush with horniness and triumph.

Neither of them considers for the first couple of days what they're gonna do when Dean gets back. But they have to eventually, and they get snippier at each other, and then John says, this isn't gonna work. And Sam says, oh why? because Dean's feelings are gonna be hurt? and John's like, well, yeah, and Sam's DISGUSTED because he thought him and Dad were on the same wavelength finally! Morally upright and clear-eyed, not sloppy and kind of embarrassing like Dean! UGH. It just kinda dissolves and Sam gets madder and madder about it until things come to a head.

And then they fuck one more time when Sam's at Stanford and catches John stalking him and he pretends he doesn't know John because it's before Sam's fully dating Jess but he's out with a girl, and the girl thinks John is sexy, so they end up in a threeway and John knows enough to slip out the door right after 😫

[crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell]

It's not a betrayal

expose (one's country, a group, or a person) to danger by treacherously giving information to an enemy.

In hindsight we know that the consequences of the souls leaving Purgatory were a bit worse than we thought. But most of us just assumed Cas and Crowley would power up and that's that

At the time Cas didn't know that there would be a future of Leviathans and Dick Roman. So Cas wouldn't have thought he was exposing anybody to danger let alone the Winchesters. I feel like it has to be deliberately knowing that it's dangerous for it to be betrayal

Cas has also seen Crowley be an ally to the Winchesters in the past and genuinely had no reason to suspect that had changed until Crowley tried to kill the boys in 6.10, and I believe that episode along with 6.21 were factors in Cas' decision to get all the souls. The fear that Crowley would use those powers to kill Dean so Crowley can't have any of those souls

My point is that Cas didn't think there was any danger. When he did realize Crowley might not be so much as an ally to the boys as he used to be, Cas got what he needed to stop the apocalypse and once he had that Cas stopped Crowley from getting any of that power

Be gravely disloyal to

Okay like I could probably understand if Sam had a problem with it. Because Sam honestly has a problem with anyone working with Crowley just Sam being Sam you know

But Dean knows full well that working with Crowley is sometimes necessary and Cas notices if it's okay for Dean to go off with Crowley in "Two Minutes to Midnight" then why would Dean have a problem if he works with Crowley?

Cas had no reason to think it was disloyal when Crowley was literally their ally recently. Then when Crowley said it's better for him to be on the throne than another demon its like hmmm a demon who helped us stop an apocalypse or another demon? Gee which is the better option?

But if it wasn't bad why didn't Cas say anything? If he had nothing to hide?

1. When Cas tried to talk about the war. Dean told him blah blah blah Raphael

2. When Dean worked with Crowley in "The Devil You Know" he didn't ring Cas up to let Cas know he was working with Crowley because he didn't think it was a big deal. And why would Cas think it was a big deal to work with Crowley when he saw Dean do the same in "Two Minutes to Midnight"

3. Crowley actually wanted to invite Dean to join the operation. It was Cas who told Crowley that Dean can't be involved because he deserves the break. What we're doing can't be that bad if Crowley wanted to invite Dean?

By the time Dean found out and told Cas to stop, uh Cas had just thrown 50,000 souls at Raphael. Unless Dean had another plan to stop Raphael? Cas can't stop now as he's already thrown down the gauntlet. Does Raphael sound like the kind of person who would forgive and forget? The civil war had already started and until there is a clear winner, the angels on Cas and Raphael's side would go on killing each other

Maybe if Dean said something before Cas and Crowley's chat it would have been different. But at that point it's kinda too late now for Cas to just back down and Dean wasn't giving any other solutions

He lied about killing Crowley

Cas is trying to stop the apocalypse and trying to protect the boys because look Crowley made it very clear he was only going after the boys because he was afraid they were trying to kill him

So if the boys think Crowley is dead they won't feel the need to try and kill him which means that Crowley won't feel the need to kill them first to preemptively stop that from happening meaning that all of them are safe

Win win