#sass-sage

[swansong-if]

hello, hope you're doing well!! may i request break and desire from the oc asks for the ros :D

What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Leir: failing someone/disappointing someone and being unable to make it up to them or fix it. It hasn't happened yet but as for what they'd look like, you may get the chance to see it in-game so I'll leave that a mystery... Because of their position, they never let people see them at their lowest moments, though. It would take a lot of mutual trust for them to allow themself to be seen.

Odile: xyr existence within the story is pretty much a long, stretched breakdown; it's not that xe hides xyr suffering, but the way xe expresses makes it so people don't generally notice anyway. Xe's kind and does not like causing harm or seeing anyone suffer in general, but circumstances have made it so xe keeps actively contributing to someone's suffering. Not just that, but it's the consequence of a wrong choice xe made. You'll get to see just how far xe can take it and when it becomes too much...

What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Leir: to be useful. And to meet expectations. It's all they ever wanted, and it's no secret given how hard they try. They'd do pretty much anything to achieve it, as long as it comes at their own expense.

Odile: to belong. Xe doesn't realise it yet, so it would be hard to be open with it or to know just how far xe would go!

[uroboros-if]

hellooo!! scrolled so far down your blog, i witnessed the creation of the chaotic universe. so! i am quite interested in this angle of the lore and worldbuilding of your if: gods serve humans, and exist almost intimately with them to the point of the former having a parental role, and even celebrating the ceremony of the twelve with them present.

this is refreshing from the familiar concept that gods are superior to mortals and only interact and bless who they deem worthy; in contrast to these deities that appreciate gifts but don't demand them and smite people (unless...? do they grant boons too?). i don't know how to tie this in with what i'll say next bc my thoughts are a mess but i hope i get them across properly aaaaaa and you don't have to answer this because i'm sure it's heading into spoiler territory and i just wanted to get this out so:

with what i said above, there has to be some sort of flaw. things between nero and ellera are tense*, and rafaele would like them to reconcile. similarly, nero thinks (or will think) alessi is doing the right thing (and doesn't like ellera's rules), while rafaele believes otherwise. just what about their divine rule is oppressive, or wrong, to the point where one of their own disapproves, and mortals started to rebel?

"Since time unknown, the same gods have existed to bring order to the world; could Alessi disrupt the current pantheon of divinity?" is what it says on alessi's profile. i have a few other thoughts on why as humans (in this setting at least. a nearly utopian and united world from what i can tell so far) they wouldn't want to be under the jurisdiction of gods, power dynamics aside. when rafaele said "Humans are happy now, anyway," i immediately thought, "or are they, father? ಠಿ_ಠ" because i think that with a prosperous group of people, there will always be others who have been overlooked. my mc would be the type to witness all of this from the sidelines (watching it all crash and burn!!), but since i'm guessing that isn't an option, they'll have to woo alessi into being accepted into their... army? (on that note, imagine the look of betrayal on salvatore or rafaele's face when they realize which side you chose haha ;-; ,,, assuming that you didn't win them over to yours. can we do that?)

i haven't even started on the existence and creation of gods,, how do you kill a god anyway? "with another god." ** "Normally, humans do not withstand a chance -- but in the right circumstances and with the right tools, along with will of the universe..." hmmm BUT i also saw that one ask with "The creation myth of the Kono people and Uroboros are both "ex nihilo", in which the world was in a state of Chaos -- a violent, turbulent time until the deities gave order to it." would that mean that without the gods...? is this similar to alessi defying death? (which i guess is related to the universe being in pain during the prologue, something that i speculate might have happened as well when that mortal ascended, because the universe was Defied) and!! "ex nihilo" literally means "out of nothing", deity of eternity, however nothing lasts forever,,, are you mathing with me

insert into this rambling, the seer, noemi. it would break my heart for the mc to hope that they might hold the answers to mc's role in all of this, what, if anything, went wrong with their revelation, if anything is wrong with them and their connection to the universe, and is there really nothing else you can tell me?

this became longer than i intended oh god,, normally i'm more of a peace and harmony enthusiast but the conflict in this if just stimulates me so much !! i'm sorry if this is a pain to read through—this is my way of telling you your work activates my happy brain chemicals xoxo

*i've always found disputes and general animosty between gods entertaining, and i'm sure my mc would love to meddle with all of that. from afar, though. they wouldn't want to get directly involved or found out. (i'm envisioning a relationship chart of all the characters just for this haha) **did the link work?? i had to come out of hiding since my sole ask about ellera's dress and reveal myself from the safe bubble of anonymity this is so scary

Aaaah thank you so much for being so enthusiastic about the conflict and lore of the IF!! I will answer your question under the read more and split it up by answers to your questions and my general remarks!

Questions ✨

this is refreshing from the familiar concept that gods are superior to mortals and only interact and bless who they deem worthy; in contrast to these deities that appreciate gifts but don't demand them and smite people (unless...? do they grant boons too?) 🌿

They can't grant boons! Think of offerings merely as gifts for their service. They exist to serve.

just what about their divine rule is oppressive, or wrong, to the point where one of their own disapproves, and mortals started to rebel? 🌿

I think you got quite close to the answer with what you said!—"i think that with a prosperous group of people, there will always be others who have been overlooked."

You will know more details as the IF goes on, but I will say — those who remain nonchalant to the world's state of affairs are those privileged enough to not have it affect them negatively, or live in a world that benefits them.

imagine the look of betrayal on salvatore or rafaele's face when they realize which side you chose haha ;-; ,,, assuming that you didn't win them over to yours. can we do that? 🌿

I won't say anything for Salvatore, but as for the fathers, they will always support you even if they ultimately disagree with you! :)

"The creation myth of the Kono people and Uroboros are both "ex nihilo", in which the world was in a state of Chaos -- a violent, turbulent time until the deities gave order to it." would that mean that without the gods...? is this similar to alessi defying death? ... and!! "ex nihilo" literally means "out of nothing", deity of eternity, however nothing lasts forever,,, are you mathing with me 🌿

Yes! Theoretically, without the gods, the Universe would not be in order anymore. It is Ellera who orchestrated its unity, and the other gods who came together as each instrument of the world's symphony. She truly believes that, without the gods—without her—the world cannot go on.

Alessi feels a little differently, or perhaps knows.

it would break my heart for the mc to hope that they might hold the answers to mc's role in all of this, what, if anything, went wrong with their revelation, if anything is wrong with them and their connection to the universe, and is there really nothing else you can tell me? 🌿

Noemi is... a strange and reclusive deity. And held back by she Who Rules All.

Remarks ✨

scrolled so far down your blog, i witnessed the creation of the chaotic universe. 🌿

This made me giggle!

normally i'm more of a peace and harmony enthusiast but the conflict in this if just stimulates me so much !! i'm sorry if this is a pain to read through—this is my way of telling you your work activates my happy brain chemicals xoxo 🌿

No no, believe me sass-sage, you've brought me so much happiness with your ask!! Thank you so much for thinking so deeply about the IF. It means more to me than you know! 🥺🥺🥺

*i've always found disputes and general animosty between gods entertaining, and i'm sure my mc would love to meddle with all of that. from afar, though. they wouldn't want to get directly involved or found out. (i'm envisioning a relationship chart of all the characters just for this haha) 🌿

I always love a little drama between the gods too, it's so delicious!! As the IF progresses, your MC will be thrown into the middle of this chaos... but who knows! Maybe you'll find that your MC will find the will to take control of their destiny, and thus the Universe's.

Also, if you're ever interested, I have a family tree of all the gods... not a relationship chart just yet, but it might be interesting anyway!

**did the link work?? i had to come out of hiding since my sole ask about ellera's dress and reveal myself from the safe bubble of anonymity this is so scary 🌿

The link worked and I must say it has SO much to do with Uroboros and I'm eating it up!! It actually called me out on so many things about the concept of the afterlife in the IF... I can't say too much, but I'll say Hera and Apollo in your post's link are onto something when it comes to mortals, whereas Hades is closer to the concept of death for gods!

Again, thank you so much sass-sage, I'm actually a little emotional 🥺🥺 I didn't answer this immediately, but I promised I read it right when you sent it and I love it!!

[bigfatbreak]

In canon, a kwami's power must be used through a human wielding a miraculous, otherwise it'll have unforeseen consequences. So, in your AU, does Imago stealing Marinette's agonies cause any sort of trouble?

honestly the biggest unforeseen consequence is that this dude is around and being himself

no but for real, there should be a hypermassive consequence for a kwami unfettered peeking their head in, but there's not because of shit we'll get into later.

just consider it like this for the time being: now that Marinette is a sage and is capable of communing with the gods, she as a living being can be used as that intermediate conduit for power instead of the miraculous gems. If it was Tikki, for example, using her power raw with sage!Marinette, Mari would be able to access the power of creation or be swayed by it - however, it would put a massive strain on her, as she's not a miraculous but still capable of acting as that pipeline.

The reason Marinette has no ill effects from Imago, however, is because Imago is playing with a catch 22. Their purpose was to take agony away from Marinette, so even the exhaustion of accessing the unfettered power of a god was something he stole from her, so it seems like zero consequences have been had. In truth Imago is now SO tired holy moly and they DO NOT LIKE IT LMAO

[the1trueanon]

And here's the Reboot version of Rosemary!! Unfortunately no Sage for the puppet versions, but there is a Sage for the human ones! :D I'll show you guys soon ;3

But yeah, here's the gorl!! A shorty lil rabbit full of energy, sass, and focus, with the mind and mouth of a steel trap! She very much plays on the "#girlboss" vibes of the early 2000s, but I think she pulls it off -w- Also! She's a fashion designer in this AU! She mostly started out just making clothes for herself (cause she smol lmao its either make clothes or scour the toddlers' section XD) but gradually grew to making all sorts of clothing for all sorts of puppets! Julie and Frank would probably be the two who use her services most, I think -- Julie just cause the two of them will make the most outlandish, awesome outfits known to puppetkind, and Frank because Rosie can help them design some really nice androgynous outfits that they like -w- Also maybe Sally, for costumes.

I've got a bunch more doodles for this that I'm working on, I'll be sharing them soon! So keep an eye out ;3

The Reboot AU is by @bloodrediscream!! Check out their works, they've got a lot of really pretty art for a bunch of different really cool media :3

[ascendant-queen]

Almost cried reading the first page of TFP- after all this time, I still have the opening lines memorized :’)

[galaxythedragonshifter]

King Jaron Eckbert III is a dork.

[elliescumslvt]

RUIN ME - Ellie Williams

Mechanic AU Ellie Williams x AFAB (assigned female at birth) reader. There is no use of Y/N, or a chosen name for the reader. 2.5k words

Content Includes: oral sex/cunnilingus (reader receiving), kissing, cursing, pet names (pretty, baby, ex), sub!reader + dom!ellie, and overall vivid descriptions of sexual activity.

A/N: I apologize for how long it took me to put out another one-shot. I hope to start writing more again soon. :D Please comment with any suggestions about how I can improve my writing, or characters!

My fingers grip the wheel as I turn into the garage. For the third time this month, my car has an issue. First was my brakes, then my spark plugs needed replacing, and now my oil needed refilling. I push down on the brakes with aggravation as I park the car. I twist the key out of the ignition with one hand, and my other flies to the door handle. My fingers curl around the plastic, and yank on it. I kick the door open, and slide my body out of the vehicle. An exasperated breath leaves my lips as I now push the door back into place. 

My feet work quickly on the dirtied concrete floor. I could hear grunting from across the garage, and assume it was my familiar mechanic. My previously furrowed brows lift as I walk around a car to see a woman with auburn brown hair. The person in question pushes themself out from underneath a Honda, and stands up. They brush off any dust collected onto their coveralls before looking down. 

“Hello? What's got you all riled up?” Her lip jerks into a smirk as she peers at my frustrated state with amusement. As I notice this, my eyes wander around the rest of her face. Freckles litter her skin in a way which almost contours her nose. Her hair is half pulled back into a small ponytail, and is ruffled around her forehead. Strands stick out in random directions, only effectively catching my attention for a moment. What distracts me more is the woman's striking sage eyes, and pink cracked lips. Overall she looks scruffy, but in an oddly appealing way. 

“I’m sorry-” My voice slices through the air with an intensity which wasn’t intended, “Is Jesse here? My car needs an oil fill.” Unbeknownst to me, my eyes were morphing into slits as I glared at the mechanic. Additionally my lips are pouty with anger, and my hips tilt with a similar sass. 

The woman only chuckles, and rips off a glove. My sight follows her hand as she wipes her forehead. “Sorry, but Jesse isn’t here today. I’d be happy to tell him that-” She sticks her hand out to point at me, as if to ask for my name.

“Doesn’t matter. I can’t wait until tomorrow.” I am fast to respond. Both hands of mine dart to my head, and push against my temples. I rub them in hopes to soothe my increasingly growing anxiety. 

The mechanic observes my stressed state, and takes a step forward. She rests a hand on my upper arm, and pushes the limb down gently. “No need to get your panties into a twist, ey?” Her tone is still one of amusement as she speaks, but now includes a hint of false comfort. 

Her eyes sparkle as her thumb starts to rub rhythmically on my forearm. 

“Lucky for you, I’m always happy to do extra work for pretty girls.” I watch as her lips stretch into a prideful smile. 

All of my facial muscles quickly relax, and my mouth gapes open slightly. “Oh uh, thank you-” My eyes wander down her coveralls and rest upon an embroidered name tag, “Ellie.” In comparison to just moments ago, my voice is a lot softer. I suddenly feel awkward, and apologetic for my previously uncalled for attitude. 

“Always my pleasure.” Ellie’s tongue passes over her lip as she talks. Her eyes momentarily glint with something devilish. She begins to walk over to my car, determination laced in her steps. Her short hair sways with the wind and I watch it intently as we cross the cement. 

I lean against my headlights as Ellie reaches down to grab the car hood edge. As she lifts it, I watch her muscles contort under the pressure. I shield my eyes immediately from the sight. However, my efforts prove fruitless. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her hand dive deep into the car front. I suck my lip to be between my teeth, and grind down on the flesh. Thoughts run wild in my head, and I curse internally. 

After a few moments, Ellie stands up straight. She lets out a heavy sigh, and stares at the engine with a perplexed expression. “The problem is definitely not your oil.” She confirms my growing suspicions with a solemn tone.

This time I curse aloud, and my lip returns to its previous position. If I wasn’t so enthralled with my self pity, I would have noticed Ellie tracing my mouth with an enticing look. “I can’t deal with this shit.” I mumble under my breath. My eyes search the floor frantically as I try to think of a solution. When my mind turns up blank, I look to the mechanic with extreme plead. 

“It’s alright..” She responds in a soothing tone before taking a short pause. Her brows lift almost as if she had a realization. “Let me give you a distraction” Ellies’ tone switches to something more sultry and all promising. 

I inspect her demeanor for a minute while I try to find the underlying meaning of her proposal. Her pupils are swollen and her irises sparke. The hands which had been on the vehicle now shake at her sides with anticipation. “What.. What do you mean?” I can not help to hide the intrigue in my voice. 

Her smile grows with a newfound confidence from my words. She moves fast, fueled by a secret determination. Soon enough, the car hood is slammed shut and she begins to pat the red aluminum. “C’mere pretty.” The words pass through her curved lips naturally, and cause a chill to pass over my spine.

I take a hesitant step forward, and slowly turn my body around. I use my hands to push down on the hood, which lifts me up. Ellies’ hands fly to my waist, and she assists me. Once I am sat, the mechanic inches closer to me. My legs are forced to spread open to allow her to stand between them. Surprisingly, her limbs never leave my form despite my stable condition. My face muscles lift into a shocked expression, and I’m left speechless.

“I have been non stop thinking about this ever since you walked your pretty ass over to me.” Ellie admits with a smug face. Her hands start to rub up and down over my hips, and a digit catches on my clothing. I watch her eyes trail over my curves and up to my awaiting face. 

I am practically frozen in a state of shock. My face undoubtedly exposes my uncertainty, though whether Ellie saw and chose to ignore it or was too ravished with me is unknown. In a pathetic attempt to speak, my mouth gapes open slightly. My company notices this in an instant, but only chuckles at my struggling. “Do you want me to stop? Because if not, you should know I only intend to ruin you.” She talks in such a sensual and commanding way that I cannot stop the groan that escapes me. 

At this, Ellie suddenly snaps. Her body pushes against mine and her mouth greets my lips. I am momentarily unmoving, but as her tongue runs along my bottom lip my consciousness slides back into place. I reciprocate her desperation as our lips slide together. Saliva soon coats our skin, only allowing us to kiss more effectively. My lips part open to gasp as a hand snakes around my neck, stabilizing me. Ellie uses her current height advantage as she pulls backwards to crane my neck. Our heads are essentially parallel as we collide. Her forgotten hand abruptly lands on my chest. She now gropes the fatty skin through fabric, her fingers applying rhythmical pressure. This entices a groan to rumble in my held throat. 

Our mouths never leave each other as she lifts a leg. A knee ends up between the middle of my thighs, but doesn’t move any closer to my core. Thoughtless in the kiss, I happily accept the bony intrusion. Ellie leans her body daringly harsher on mine, which forces my legs to spread even further. My hips allow this stretch, though it stings and is unfamiliar. I whine against the car enthusiast's lips. Our skin pleasantly vibrates against each other, and this time coaxes a moan from Ellie. Her tongue returns to my entrances, and pokes at it impatiently. As soon as my foggy brain senses this, my mouth moves to provide an entryway. The damp muscle presses against the fleshy roof, before the tip licks at it. I struggle to verbalize my pleasure since a hand is still wrapped tightly around my neck. Only weak guttural shaking presents itself. When Ellie feels this, she tightens her digits to squeeze even harder. 

Without warning, a knee shoves against my pulsing core. The sheer contrast of temperature in the skin creates an odd nerve rattling sensation. Her knee digs deeper before starting the move up and down. The polyester of her coveralls rubs against my thin clothing article. My thoughts become clouded with dirty sin.

Lost in pleasure, I lose momentum in the kiss. Ellie struggles to keep up the arousing clash of our lips alone. With a frustrated grumble, she pulls her head away from mine. Eyes flooded with lust glare at mine. “Can’t even handle my knee, Baby?” My cunt throbbing intensifies at her taunting words. “Such a pussy drunk whore.” She spits. I am not only shocked at the harsarity of her words, but also the reaction of my body. The degradation only adds to my overflowing pleasure. 

The combination of friction against my core and Ellies’ voice lures a loud whimper. A beating force in my groin becomes intoxicatingly present. I grind my hips down against her knee in desperation, my ass sliding along the car hood. As if overwhelmed by my pathetic display, Ellies' head falls into the crook of my neck. She lets out low grunts as she continues to grind her knee into me. Her lips are so close to my ears that I swear I am able to feel my drums quaking. They shake against my inner flesh, and rattle my mind. I am so bombarded with pleasing sensations that my eyes squeeze and I cry out into the garage. 

Her hand groping my breast falls off, and lands on the hood. She flexes her fingers before using the arm to steady herself. Now her leg thrusts are much faster and reach deeper between my legs. Soft cracked lips press against the skin under my ear. I squirm beneath Ellie, and my jaw goes slack, no longer preventing myself from expressing my bliss. “I… I’m-” My brain cannot fathom to form words as my nerves are being inflicted with such delight. 

“Aw, are you close?” Ellie teases. She speaks through low laughter, and the expulsion of air blows onto my neck. 

My core tightens with ecstasy. Filthy nothings leave me as I grow even closer to bliss than before. I can feel my arousal soak through the fabric of my pants and onto Ellie’s. Just as I am about to snap, Ellie’s leg retreats from between my thighs. She presses a feather light kiss on my neck pulse, before pulling away.

She watches my face contort into a distraught expression. A boisterous chuckle echoes throughout the garage as the mechanic tosses her head back. “I couldn’t end this so soon, could I?” Her lips morph into a taunting smile, and her head tilts slightly to the side. I frown in dismay at her obvious attempt to play innocent. 

There is a soft thud as she sets her foot onto the tar. A hand then slowly moves toward my face, and cups it. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” Ellie coos, her voice contradictingly soft in comparison to before. As she speaks, her knees start to bend. My eyes widen as I watch her slowly go down to crouch. Her face is now directly between my trembling thigh muscles, which slightly hang off the hood of the car. I can not bring myself to respond, as I am so shocked. Based on her previous statements, I anticipated Ellie to quickly get me off before fixing my car. However, that was everything but her intentions.

Rough hands travel to my waist, and experienced fingers work quickly to unbutton my pants. Her green eyes are narrowed into concentrated slits as she diligently unclothes me. Soon my pants are discarded somewhere on the cold flooring, my panties following. Her gaze twists into something more sinister as she stares at my dampened core. My folds glisten under the harsh overhead lights, and my clit is pink and throbbing. She observes my hole clenching around the air, and her lips turn into a frown. 

“El-” Just as I begin to say her name, Ellie’s face plants itself against my sex. Her tongue hungrily laps at my core, and her eyes flutter close as she admires the taste. On the contrary, my eyes grow wider. I pant out a curse, and my hands snake down into her hair. My fingers greedily pull at her auburn strands, pathetically attempting to pull her even closer. Abruptly, her muscle starts to drag up and down my folds. It gathers my juices before plunging inside of me. I moan at the impure sight of Ellie eating me out while I am sat atop my car. 

Her hands push down on my thighs, and pull them together. They cage her head in, though she seems to enjoy it. I highly doubt her ability to breathe, but she doesn’t seem to flinch. On the contrary, my entire body is shaking with delight. I cannot help but tighten my hold on her hair and yank her even closer. I don’t just need her against me, but enveloping my whole being. 

As my brain shivers with delight, it begins to dangerously wonder. If anyone were to stumble into the garage, they would be met with certainly a sight. One woman sat up on a car hood while another kneels before her and pleasures her. 

Ellie’s tongue works hard to bring me to my climax. My moans echo against the concrete walls. I suddenly feel her hum against me, which vibrates my wet folds. My core tightens and loosens uncomfortably, which causes my eyes to squeeze shut. 

“Come on, Baby. Cum on my face.” Ellie pulls her face just far enough from my sex to mumble. She speaks in such a soothing tone, that I feel I must comply. My orgasm washes over me, a slow calm wave. My nerves tingle underneath my skin as the sensation passes through. Heavy pants are the only sound being emitted from Ellie or I. Her eyes are wide and focused as she watches me.

 Once the climax has almost entirely run its course, Ellie finally draws her attention away from my lower body. Our eyes meet and we share a soft silent conversation. There is no doubt in my mind, and in hers, that I will be coming back to the garage again soon.

[corroded-hellfire]

I saw a video on Instagram of a girl who had a rough day at school because she got in a fight with her friend. And her little sister says I'm your best friend and wipes the girl's tears and then hugs her. I couldn't help but think of Ryan or Luke having a bad day at school and Eliza comes to hug them telling them that she loves them and not to be sad.

I immediately fell in love with this idea. Little Eliza has such sass and attitude, but she also has the biggest heart 💕

Words: 2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

The front door opens and a quick glance at the clock visible in the hallway, just outside of where you are in the laundry room, tells you that it’s Luke coming home from school. The familiar sounds of him kicking his shoes off and walking into the kitchen reach you as you transfer the wet clothes into the dryer. But instead of hearing him rummage around the pantry or cabinets like normal, the noise is surprisingly civilized as he pulls something out of the refrigerator and lets that door swing closed behind him.

The fourteen-year-old’s footsteps start coming down the hall, thumping louder the closer he gets to you. In your peripheral vision, you see Luke walk past the laundry room, a bottle of water in his hands as he heads towards the stairs.

“Hey, troublemaker,” you say. 

There’s no response. The sound of him climbing the stairs reverberates through the walls and you frown as you snatch up the box of dryer sheets on the shelf above the washing machine. 

Even if Luke didn’t hear you, it’s unusual for him to come home and be so quiet. It’s not uncommon for the boy to track you down as soon as he’s grabbed a snack so he can tell you about something he did in class or something funny that happened at lunch. Your Mom Sense starts to tingle. 

Freshly washed clothes all now in the dryer, you close the lid and press the familiar buttons to get your last chore of the day finished. Before you can even take a step towards the door though, a loud thump thump thump thump thump careens down the hallway. There’s a flash of two curly pigtails and purple overalls rushing past the laundry room before the surprisingly heavy tread for a four-year-old follows in her brother’s wake up the stairs. 

As much as you know Luke loves his little sister, if something is going on with him, he probably won’t want to deal with the preschooler. You wipe your hands off on the side of your jeans and follow your kids up the stairs, ready to wrangle in your precocious daughter if need be. 

The murmur of voices floats down the hall once you’re upstairs. It’s hard to tell what they’re saying, but you can make out the distinct pitches between the teenage boy and pipsqueak little girl. 

“You’re not okay,” you hear Eliza say as you silently approach Luke’s room. 

The door is open, but you don’t want to barge in on whatever they have going on, so you wait just on the other side of the door frame until they’re finished. 

“Eliza,” Luke says with a sigh. But his sister is right. The slight wobble of his usually strong and steady voice is a dead giveaway. 

Mattress springs creak and between Eliza’s little huffs of effort and Luke’s sharp inhale at a wince, you wager she’s climbing into his lap. One of the many things your daughter inherited from Eddie was her grace, which is to say, she doesn’t really have any. 

Careful not to make a sound, you lean into the doorway of Luke’s room to take a peek. The way the bed is situated your son isn’t able to see you from where he sits on it, socked feet planted on the sage carpet. Eliza is indeed on his lap, her legs draped across her brother’s thighs and her back to you. 

Luke’s arm is around her small frame so she won’t fall and Eliza rests her head against his chest, tilting her head up to look at him. 

“What’s wrong, Lukie?” she asks softly.

Your second oldest son doesn’t typically like that nickname and will always tell people to stop calling him that—except for Eliza. She’s the soft spot of the entire family. 

Luke lets out a sigh and you don’t think he’s going to answer his sister. You expect him to deny it again and tell her to go play with her toys. But instead, you watch his shoulders slump, and he lowers his head, starting to pick at a loose thread on the cuff of Eliza’s overalls. 

“I was supposed to hang out with one of my friends,” Luke starts, but is interrupted. 

“Who?”

“You don’t know—oh, yeah, you do. It’s Sean.”

“The one who looks like a chocolate chip cookie?” she asks. 

Luke snorts, failing at containing his laughter, and you cover your mouth to suppress your urge to giggle. 

“Those are called freckles, Lize,” Luke explains. Your son has lovingly referred to one of his best friends as “chocolate chip face” when his freckles become darker and more pronounced in the summer. It’s nice to know Eliza hears everything, though. 

“Anyway,” Luke continues, “he and I were supposed to go to the movies tonight. But he blew me off—uh, canceled on me.”

“Maybe his mommy is sick,” Eliza offers, unable to turn off her empathetic instincts. 

“No,” Luke says with a head shake. “He’s going bowling with someone else.”

Eliza sits up straight in her brother’s lap at this. You don’t have to see her face to know her eyebrows are pinching together.

“That’s not nice. Why can’t you go with them?”

Another sigh from Luke as he shakes his head.

“He’s going with a girl. A date.” The word sounds bitter as it rolls off your son’s tongue. 

“Date?” Eliza sounds confused.

“Sean likes the girl. He wants her to be his girlfriend. So, he picked her over me tonight,” Luke says. 

Your heart splinters as you listen to him. Memories of when you were fourteen are still vivid in your mind and when friends bail on you it hurts—especially when it’s to spend time with another person. It comes with the age and hormones though, you know that. Luke’s friend Sean is a good kid, and you know their friendship will be fine. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting right now in this moment. 

“I’ll go to the movies with you,” Eliza offers, your heart melting at her words. 

A small smile grows on Luke’s face, and he shakes his head.

“You’re too young for this one.”

Eliza huffs but nuzzles her face against her brother’s blue Indiana Colts t-shirt. 

“We watch a movie here?” Eliza asks. Before waiting for an answer, she pushes herself out of Luke’s lap and crawls over his legs until she’s able to stand on the mattress next to him. This angle gives you a better vantage point of the little girl’s face and Luke adjusts himself on the bed so he’s facing her as well. “‘Cause I’m your friend too, right?”

“Of course you are.” You don’t have to be able to see Luke’s face to know he’s smiling. 

“Luke and Liza movie night,” she declares, giving a definitive nod of her head, curls bouncing everywhere in the confines of the two pigtails. “I don’t want you to be sad.” Gently, she cups Luke’s face in her two small hands. “It’s okay, Lukie. I’m your friend an’ I love you.”

Your son isn’t even given the chance to respond before Eliza moves her hands from his face to wrap her arms around his neck and launch herself into him. She hugs him with all her tiny might and Luke wraps his arms right back around her. 

“Thanks, kid,” he says. “I love you too.”

Tears cloud your vision as you quietly take a step back from the door. You’ve always known all your kids have kind hearts and would do anything for one another. But seeing this display of affection from your four-year-old when she sensed her brother was upset has your heart bursting with pride. 

Using the backs of your hands, you wipe your eyes and the few rogue tears that have traitorously slid down your cheeks. On tiptoe, you make your way back to the stairs and go down with as little noise as possible.

Once you’re on the first floor, you feel you can let out a loud exhale and sniffle a few times as you take care of the remaining tears. One thing you’ve learned as a mom is that some of the most rewarding moments are also the most emotional. This was definitely one of them. 

The moment Eddie comes home, you’re buzzing around him like a dog who knows they’re about to get a treat. He doesn’t even have his boots off yet when you’re linking your arm with his and leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Hello to you, too,” Eddie teases. “What’s up?”

The last time you were this eager to get a hold of him as soon as he walked through the door you were in your second trimester with Eliza and practically dragged Eddie to the bedroom before he even had the front door closed behind him. But this wasn’t that, you weren’t trying to get into his coveralls—yet, anyway.

“The sweetest thing happened today,” you gush, taking care to keep your voice low. 

“What was it?”

“When Luke came home—”

“What’s for dinner?” Ryan interrupts, popping his head into the room from the kitchen.

“Spaghetti,” you tell him.

“Come on,” Eddie says, slipping his hand into yours. “Tell me while I get cleaned up from work.”

And so you do. Happily watching your husband undress and wash his body off as you sit on the bathroom counter, your legs lazily swinging over the edge. 

You relay the whole story to him and there’s a grin on his pretty face the entire time. Pride beams in his eyes as he slips into an old t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. 

“She's such a good kid,” he says. 

“I know.”

As the two of you exit the bathroom, you’re forced to step out of the way as Eliza carries the comforter from her bed towards the stairs. 

“Uh, whatcha doing, Sweet Pea?” Eddie asks her.

“Gettin’ stuff ready,” she says, adjusting the quilt in her arms. 

“For what?” you ask.

“Me and Luke are having movie night. Gonna put blankets and pillows on the floor so we’re comfy.”

“Want me to carry that for you?” Eddie offers.

“Yes, please.”

Once Eliza is empty-handed, she heads down the stairs, you on her tail, and Eddie bringing up the rear. As you enter the living room you see Luke’s comforter already spread out on the floor, pillows strewn about. It brings you back to the days when you were a kid and would have sleepovers with your friends in your parents’ living room.

Eliza makes grabby hands for her blanket and Eddie gladly gives it back to her. She unceremoniously plops it down on the floor and spreads the pink princess comforter out next to Luke’s camouflage one. 

“Here we go,” Luke says as he slips into the room behind you and Eddie. He’s got four pillows in his arms, and he dumps them in the middle of the makeshift nest. 

“Quite the set up you’ve got,” Eddie remarks. 

“Well yeah,” Luke says as he plunks himself down on the couch before sliding onto the floor. “It’s Luke and Liza movie night. We gotta!”

Ryan steps into the living room from the kitchen and his eyes roam over everything laid out on the floor in front of him—including his siblings.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“Luke and Liza movie night,” Eliza and Luke say in unison.

Ryan frowns and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Can I join?”

“No,” they once again answer in sync. 

“Wow,” Ryan says with a shake of his head. “And to think, I bought ice cream today and would’ve shared it with you guys. But oh well.” The oldest sibling shrugs and makes his way back into the kitchen.

“Maybe we can reconsider!” Luke calls after him.

“Nope!” Ryan shouts back. “Too late.”

You and Eddie share an amused look, neither of you able to contain your smiles. It’s moments like these when I know I’m ready for another kid, you think to yourself. The love and craziness in this house will only get bigger—but why would I want it any other way? 

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Sod’s Law

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader Summary: For some reason bad luck followed you everywhere but it did lead to something special happening. Warnings: bad language WC: 871

F1 Masterlist

The fundamental principle of Sod’s Law states: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. That statement could not have been more true than the day you met Lando.

Montréal 2023

“That is what happens when you choose the cheapest hotel. Honestly, you should have just stayed with us.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear just to glare at it, not that Hayley could see the daggers you were mentally sending her. Huffing indignantly, you tucked the device back between your shoulder and ear.

“It took all my savings just to get here, I couldn’t exactly afford the Four fucking Seasons.”

“It’s a Best Western, thank you very much,” she replied with an equal level of sass. “You really did have a bad sleep, didn’t you?”

“To have a bad sleep requires actually getting to sleep. I’ll call you when I get to the track, I’m almost at the bus stop now.”

“Alright, stay safe, love you.”

“You too-oomph,” you slammed into a figure that had rushed out of the actual Four Seasons hotel and fell down on your ass, wearing the coffee that was meant to perk you up.

“Un-fucking-believable. This is just perfect.” You were ranting as you shook your hands free of the hot liquid scalding them but you didn’t care, it wasn’t like your day could get any worse.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t see you there,” a British man apologised and you looked up from the brown mess that was once your white shirt.

Your jaw dropped as you saw who it was holding his hand out to help you up. You might as well have been a fish for how you looked, opening and closing your mouth without being able to actually formulate words. “Uh. You, your Lando.”

“And you are?” he asked as he wiggled his fingers for you to take.

The many spoonfuls of sugar in the coffee had left a sticky residue on your hand and he wrinkled his nose at the feeling when he pulled you to your feet. “I’m sorry.”

“Was my fault,” he shrugged, wiping his hand on his jeans.

“Trust me, it wasn’t. I have the worst luck in the world. My luck is so bad that when my mother went to smudge me with sage, she singed my hair.”

His brows pinched together in confusion. “I don’t know what that means but I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“My shirt would say otherwise,” you said with a sigh, knowing there wasn’t enough time to return to the hotel and change. If you did that then you would miss the bus and with your luck it would snowball until you missed the entire race.

“I feel terrible for ruining your outfit,” he said sincerely and looked to the man accompanying him who just nodded. “How about you come with us and I can get you some McLaren merch? It’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You desperately wanted to accept his offer but you feared what would happen. “Bad things happen around me and I would really like to see you win.”

Lando laughed and placed a hand on your back as he guided you to a SUV that a valet had brought around. “I don’t believe that.”

“We’ll see who’s laughing, just wait.”

—

“I’m not unsportsmanlike, I don’t understand it.”

You winced as you watched the post-race interview from McLaren’s hospitality and slunk deeper into your seat. You felt like an imposter with the VIP paddock pass hanging around your neck but thankfully no one really paid you any mind.

As promised, Lando had found you a papaya orange shirt and hoodie to change into before going to do his own thing. He’d said he would see you later but you still weren’t sure if it was in the literal sense or just a casual goodbye. So you ended up loitering around just in case.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Lando said as he fell heavily into the empty seat beside you.

Your head fell and you fidgeted with a bracelet on your wrist as you tried to hold back the tears of embarrassment welling in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I did warn you.”

“Hey,” he whispered softly, his finger curling under your chin to lift it back up. “I’m joking.”

“I’m not. It’s been like this my whole life. If something can go wrong, rest assured it will.”

Lando rose to his feet and held his hand out. You sighed quietly and started to pull the VIP pass as he came to his senses but he laughed and shook his head. “Your hand.”

You were beyond confused as you placed your palm in his and let him pull you to your feet. “Why?”

“Your luck is about to change, and I’m going to prove it.”

You chewed your lip hesitantly but eventually nodded, earning a warm smile that lit up his face. “But nothing dangerous. I’m not risking a parachute malfunction or engine failure.”

He held up his little finger and wiggled it. “Pinky promise.”

You hooked your finger with his and felt a spark flicker to life within you. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope after all.

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 1: Rimming

Paring: Kakashi Hatake x male reader

This guy

Warnings: Rimming DUH, anal fingering, teasing, slight begging, little bottom twinky fuck me daddy feminine male reader, no actual sex, enemies to lovers? I think that's it

Word Count: 1,307

Fuck him. Fuck his pretty silver hair that I just want to run my hands through while he eats my ass, his muscular form that must have been crafted by the sage of six paths himself, his beautiful attention catching eye, his mysterious mask, his (what I hope is) insanely large dick. Just fuck the whole thing (I wish).

Of course, the only person you could be thinking of is the one and only Kakashi Hatake, copy ninja of the leaf, and the hottest mother fucker to ever exist. Oh god did you have an obsession with him. Having wet dream after wet dream about him, screaming his name while masturbating, and it doesn't help that you catch him staring at you all the time almost as much as he catches you staring at him.

This whole obsession started a month ago when you saw him reading one of his goddamn sex books in the middle of the street. You walked over to him and asked why he was reading erotica in a VERY public place, and he just looked at you "Because it's hot." he stated matter-of-factly. The nerve of some people, from then on you two would see each other walking around, say hi, go your respective ways. It's been that way ever since; stolen glances and fuck me eyes since.

Until now. You were done with man after man not fulfilling you like you think he may be able to, maybe, it's a complete guess but he just gives off the vibe. Anyway, you saw him reading his demented sex shit again when you decided to make your fantasies a reality once and for all. You walk behind the bench he was sitting on and read the words on the page and HOLY SHIT IT'S GAY RIMMING. You mentally scream into the pillow like a 15-year-old girl who just found out her crush is available, which is kind of like what's going on.

"Uhm, can I help you?" Kakashi questions in his horny inducing voice, with a little annoyance sprinkled in through all the underwear wetting.

"Oh sorry, am I disturbing a public jack off sesh." You coldly state with a smirk on your face, hand doing a little masturbation gesture.

"Do you mind." he says rhetorically, the twinge of annoyance from earlier much more noticeable now.

"If you didn't want someone to talk to you then why are you reading 'that' on a public bench in the middle of the street again?" you sassily question.

"Because I wanted to read outside, privately." He answers, you look at him like he's the dumbest man in the whole world.

"Then why, in the absolute fuck, are you reading in the street you attention whore." you rhetorically ask, the previous sass now developed into genuine frustration as you walk around the bench to be right in front of him.

"That's cute coming from you." he chuckles.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" you ask.

"Don't act dumb, you have been trying to get into my pants for weeks now." he exclaims, you start to blush, ensuring that what he said is true.

"Don't act so high and mighty with me. I've seen you look at me too bitch." you state. He stands up, his large frame completely dwarfing you, his eyes almost angry. You do a cartoonish and audible gulp, the fear enhancing the horniness.

It's quiet for a while until he leans down,

"And what of it" he whispers in your ear and grabs you ass tightly, not caring if anyone sees. You let out a soft yelp at the sudden sign of attraction. You're completely stunned, not knowing what to do. He realizes this and before you can think any more, he holds you close and grabs your ass tighter and whispers,

"My place." It wasn't even a question or a request, it was a demand. One that even given the choice you wouldn't say no to.

Before you know it you're already on your way to Kakashi's place. He's giving you a piggyback ride to save time, and because he wants that juicy cake as quickly as possible, his mind is going crazy with your legs wrapping around him.

Finally, you make it to his place and immediately you both rush into his room. Right when you both enter you get off his back and onto the bed. Your legs spread as he takes off both your pants and underwear and tosses them both to the side.

"Now, turn around and bend over." already making demands and he hasn't even bought you dinner yet, not that you care because without a single moment of hesitation you are already on your hands and knees.

Without warning he immediately put his long skilled digit into your readily awaiting hole. He moves slowly as he starts to open you up. All the while you let out quiet moans.

"Your little moans are so cute." he said. Suddenly you feel a second finger enter you. He stays at the same excruciatingly slow pace. While he's pumping his fingers, he starts to feel the rest of your ass, rubbing it sensually and squeezing at the sensitive skin.

He puts in the third finger and his speed starts to pick up. Now your moans start to get louder as his three fingers stay at a steady and quick speed. He pumps them in and out over and over with precise repetition.

his fingers start to curl inside you, twisting and turning inside you perfectly. It's at this point that you are officially a moaning mess. The all too familiar feeling churns into your stomach. His fingers start turning and hitting your sweet spot consistently.

Then the feeling of relief washes over you as his fingers twist and hit your spot for the final time. You let out a loud moan and crash into the bed, cumming without even him putting his dick in you.

But he wasn't satisfied with just feeling inside you as he picked you up and brought you to your hands and knees again.

"Not yet sweetheart." he says as he starts to rub and massage your ass cheeks, caressing them to his desire. He gives you a quick and sharp spank, you cry out in pleasure from the surprise as he watches you ass jiggle in awe.

He puts his mask down and licks your ass, putting small and harmless love bites from time to time. Each lick and bite getting closer and closer to your hole. You start begging him to just devour you already. "Please, god I've fantasized about this please." you cry out, wanting, no, craving for his tongue.

"Well since you asked so nicely." he calmly states, though you can tell the excitement in his voice, aware that he wants this too. He licks lines on your cheek until FINALLY taking small licks on your entrance. Your spine chills in anticipation and pleasure and your breathing becomes shaky.

He licks languid circles on your entrance slowly. His hands are still caressing the rest of your ass. Your legs are shaking due to the stimulation and your cock is as hard as can be. He stops his simple licking and finally puts his tongue in your ass.

It starts off slowly but develops quickly into a fast pace, his tongue going in and out of you. You are now officially a moaning mess as his tongue is assaulting your hole. He continues this and then starts to put his fingers back in your hole while his mouth is still doing its job.

The familiar feeling in your stomach starts to build up again as his talented hands and mouth works on your asshole. Your moans crescendo until finally you climax for the second time of the night.

And you're not done yet.

THE END

[augustinewrites]

listening to the amurta darshan’s faculty argue over budgets is positively mind-numbing, and alhaitham can feel his brain cells dying off with each agonizing minute that ticks by. 

this is only his second meeting as the acting grand sage, but he’s already looking forward to retiring. he’s been mapping out his retirement plan for the last ten minutes, actually. he’ll move to liyue, build a house on a very, very high mountaintop, and spend his days reading from sunrise to sunset—

“acting grand sage, what are your thoughts on the matter?”

listening to petty squabbles between old men in his capacity as the scribe is one thing, but having to direct the squabbles is wholly another. 

he sits up, doing his best to shake the stupor from his mind before quickly glancing down at the notes his assistant places in front of him. 

“naphis,” he says, genuinely surprised. “you intend to relinquish your position as sage?” 

alhaitham isn’t truly listening when amurta’s (now former) sage produces an explanation. the next step is to find a solution. find a new sage. naphis’ long-winded soliloquy about ‘ushering in the new generation’ and ‘starting anew’ were simply redundant. 

he tunes back into the conversation when naphis says, “i’d like to recommend a former student of mine. tighnari.” 

alhaitham knows tighnari. would even go as far as to say he likes him. “of the avidya forest watchers, yes,” he murmurs. “i will reach out.”

he glances over at you when you shift in your seat, glancing at him with that look in your eyes. the one that tells him you have something you want to say. 

but then one of the faculty members begins a highly dramaticized account of an lab incident in pardis dhyai that “demands” the proper allocation of funds, and he sighs, realizing this will have to be addressed another time.

_____

the next few days are busy, as the shift of power within the akademiya demands near the entirety of his attention. that, combined with his reluctance to bring work home, lead him to follow up with you a week after the amurta faculty meeting. 

“what were you going to tell me?”

“hm?” you roll onto your side to face him, eyes barely open, considering it’s two in the morning. “when?”

he feels bad for waking you, knowing you’re exhausted from a twelve hour shift at the bimarstan. but he’d been penning his letter to tighnari earlier, and couldn’t stop pondering what you’d wanted to tell him last week.

“at the meeting,” he clarifies. “you were giving me…a look.”

“i give you lots of looks,” you yawn, nudging your face further into your pillow. “you are quite handsome.”

“don’t be cute,” he mutters, hoping the darkness of the room hides his blush. “you were looking at me like you knew something i didn’t.”

you blink a few times as the memory comes back. “which time? i give you that look multiple times a day, darling.”

normally, he finds your sass to be quite a turn on. just not when it’s directed at him. “the first time.”

“when you were talking about research grants?”

“not that time,” he frowns. “but— what do you know about that?”

“nothing,” you say much too quickly, but then you lean over, cupping his chin and looking him in the eye. “but when someone so, so pretty and extremely smart submits a grant application…”

“i will set up a private channel just for your submissions,” he promises.

“i was actually talking about kaveh, but that is very much appreciated. we do need new stethoscopes.” you pat his cheek a little harder than necessary, smiling.

“wait, kaveh?” he asks. “really?”

“oh yes,” you nod. “he was talking about an affordable housing project the other night. if the akademiya could spare the funds, he could even move into one of said houses himself…”

“finally admitting you want him to leave?” 

“haitham, he used that last of that face cream i bought in fontaine and keeps moving our furniture around. i don’t just want him to leave, i need him to leave. remember when he organized your bookshelves by colour?”

oh, he remembers, trust him. “i’ll have amani pull his application for review first thing tomorrow.” 

“a most wise decision,” you hum, about to roll back around when he gently grips your arm.

 “we’re not done. i was talking about when i mentioned reaching out to tighnari.”

“oh, that look,” you blink. “he won’t accept the position.” 

his brows raise in surprise, because who in their right mind would deny the role of sage? “and you know this how?”

“because we’re friends,” you tell him matter-of-factly. “and i know he’s made a commitment to lead the forest watchers. he’s doing good work there, along withconducting his research. i doubt he’d want to be saddled with a desk job on top of that. let alone one with the akademiya.”

“okay,” he shrugs. if you say he doesn’t want the job, then he doesn’t want the job. there’s no need to delve further into the specifics. “you know the amurta faculty better than i do. who should i ask?”

this time you send him a flat look, pulling away from him and taking the duvet with you. “haitham, i’ve entertained your poor attempt at pillow talk thus far, but if you wish to continue discussing this so bad, why don’t you go find amani? i’m sure she’d love to spend the night with you.” 

he rolls his eyes, trying and failing to reclaim the duvet. “jealousy is quite the unbecoming trait, you know.” 

“go to sleep, acting grand sage.”

alhaitham shuts up, because, well, you’d titled him. that was a warning sign in itself that he’d deprived you of your sleep for long enough. but you don’t protest as he pulls you close, pressing a kiss to the back of your head, still overthinking. his mind won’t rest until he finds a solution. 

“stop overthinking it,” you mutter into your pillow. “you’ll figure something out. you always do.”

you’re right, he realizes. maybe the solution is right in front of him. 

_____

alhaitham is halfway through reading kaveh’s application when he hears your muffled threats to his assistant right outside his door.

“move, amani. or i’ll make you!”

amani has a much better sense of self-preservation than he thought, because it’s not a second later that his office doors burst open, and you let yourself in. 

“when i told you that you’d figure it out, i didn’t mean this!” you exclaim, waving his letter in his face.

he takes your hand, pressing his lips to the back of it in an attempt to placate you, murmuring, “you don’t want to be a sage?” 

“of course i do,” you huff, snatching your hand back. “but— but i’m—”

“the logical choice,” he finishes for you, folding his hands atop his desk. “you obtained two degrees before 25, your thesis on elemental healing techniques is the gold standard, you’re the head of medical and you’re decently versed in botany.” 

“botany?” you repeat incredulously. “so maybe the neighbors are jealous of our garden and tighnari taught me how to use naku weed to make special brownies that one time–”

“they were very good brownies,” he assures you. “and you’re still an excellent candidate.”

you go off again, listing off all the reasons why it shouldn’t be you, but all that alhaitham sees is someone who is brave enough to hold their own in council meetings and even yell at the acting grand sage. you’re perfect.

even you sigh unnecessarily loud, pinching the bridge of your nose. “you’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“i don’t intend to, no.”  

you’re silent for a long minute, clenching your jaw so hard that alhaitham worries for your teeth. 

“i want to make my own hours,” you tell him firmly. “i’m not going to be tied to a desk all day.” 

that was something he could certainly get on board with himself. “fine. anything else?”

“give me the day to think on it,” you shrug, moving to sit on the edge of his desk. alhaitham slides his chair back so your knees fit between his legs. “you really think i can do this?”

“the pros of you being amurta’s sage greatly outweigh the cons, so yes.” 

you fix him with a long-suffering look. “what were the cons?”

alhaitham thought himself an intelligent man, but he very nearly opens his mouth to answer your question before realizing the answer will likely end with him sleeping on the couch tonight. he chooses to keep his mouth shut, earning himself a little kiss before you sign the contract on his desk.

[ryin-silverfish]

A side-by-side comparison of Nezha's backstory in JTTW and FSYY

(Sth I've been working on for a while, as quick reference material for Nezha's story in the two novels specifically that doesn't go into the broader mythos.)

JTTW's Nezha:

-Born with the characters "Ne/Na" on one hand, and "Zha" on the other

-Has 2 older brothers and 1 younger sister: Jinzha, who worked as a guardian deity and attendant of the Buddha, Mucha, who was the disciple of Guanyin, and Li Zhenying, who's said to be 7 years old in JTTW (Chapter 83).

-There's also Diyong/Lady Earth Flow, the adopted mice sister that had eaten the Buddha's candle, was captured by Li Jing and Nezha, and spared on the Buddha's order.

-She shows up in Chapter 80, as a demoness who kidnapped Tripitaka for the purpose of marriage, and is subsequently recaptured to face celestial judgement.

-Three days after his birth, Nezha went off into an unknown ocean, stepped on a crystal palace and toppled it, and caught a flood dragon to use its tendon as a belt

-After that, Li Jing tried to kill him for being a menace, and Nezha did the "Return his flesh and bones to his parents" thing in anger

-His soul then drifted off to the Buddha's place, who performed the Lotus Resurrection Thing by reciting a mantra

-He then subdued 96 caves of demons, and went after Li Jing to take revenge for the "forced suicide" thing

-Li Jing pleaded to the Buddha for help, who gave him a pagoda with Buddhas sculptured on every level, and told Nezha to call the Buddha (on the pagoda) as his father from now on.

-The weapons he used in his Three-headed Six-Armed Form: The Demon-slaying Sword + Demon-cutting Blade, Demon-binding Rope + Demon-subduing Vajra, Embroidered Ball, Fire Wheel (held in his hand)

FSYY's Nezha:

-Is the reincarnation of Taiyi's oldest disciple, Spirit Pearl/Lingzhu Zi

-Is destined to be the Vanguard of the Zhou army in the upcoming War of the Investiture

-Has 2 brothers: Jinzha, disciple of Wenshu Guangfa Tianzun, and Muzha, disciple of Sage Puxian. (FSYY's quirk of making popular Buddhist deities into Daoist sages in a trenchcoat is at play again.)

-Mother was pregnant with him for three years, gave birth to a ball of flesh

-Jumps out of the ball of flesh when Li Jing cuts it open, wearing his Qiankun Ring as a bracelet, Huntian Sash wrapped around his stomach

-Was immediately taken by Taiyi as a disciple the next day, who told Li Jing that, born in the hour of Chou, Nezha is destined to break 1700 prohibitions against killing

-A 6 ft tall 7-years old (FSYY's sense of scale is really weird, like all old novels)

-Asked to go out and play in the river during summertime, unknowingly created a shockwave in the water with his sash that shook Ao Guang's palace in the East Sea.

-Ao Guang sent a Yaksha to check it out. Nezha sassed the Yaksha, who attacked him in a fury and got insta-killed.

-Ao Guang's soldiers reported the Yaksha's death. Ao Bing overheard the whole thing, asked to go deal with this random brat, and was granted permission by his father.

-Ao Bing rode out of the waves on his steed, and went "Who are you, sassy lost child, and did you just kill my Yaksha?!" And Nezha was like "Yeah, so what? Talk shit, get hit."

-Ao Bing charged Nezha with his weapon in a fury, got dragged down his steed by the sash, and was promptly bonked on the head by the Qiankun Ring, which reverted him to his dragon form.

-Nezha then pulled out his tendons to make a belt for Li Jing's armor and returned to Chentang Pass. Furious, Ao Guang hurried his way to Li Jing's mansion and accused him for the whole multiple homicide thing.

-Li Jing's first reaction was "My kid's only 7 and never goes out of the door, he can't possibly kill yours!" Then, when he indeed asked Nezha, Nezha flat-out admits it and went out to meet Ao Guang like "Yeah, sorry, doesn't know that's your kid. Anyways, here's his tendons, undamaged and untouched."

-Ao Guang, unsurprisingly, did not take it well and stormed off to press charges to the JE. Faced with his angry crying parents, Nezha also knew he had fucked up, and went to his master Taiyi for help.

-Taiyi's advice? Go ambush the dragon king on his way to complain to the JE and beat him up, mobster-style. Which Nezha promptly did, forcing Ao Guang to turn into a little snake and stay in his sleeves, to be carried back to Chentang Pass.

-The beatdown does not convince Ao Guang not to press charges. In fact, he said he'd get the other dragon kings of the Four Seas to press charges together. Li Jing raged at Nezha again, who assured him that it was alright, like, his master said he was destined to assist some Sage King and stuff.

-He then wandered into the back garden, picked up the Qiankun Bow and Sky-shaking Arrows of the Yellow Emperor that were, uh, just kept there in the family attic, and decided to do some archery practice.

-Sadly, he didn't know how far that arrow would go. It flew all the way to the White Bone Cave, abode of Lady Shiji the Rock Demoness, and went straight through the throat of one of her two disciples, the Verdant Cloud Boy.

-Since Li Jing also carved his name onto the arrow (…), Lady Shiji headed immediately to his place and whisked him away with her treasure, the Eight Trigrams Hankerchief.

-At her place, Li Jing pleaded that he really didn't do it, since the Qiankun Bow was a mystical ancient weapon no one could use in a long, long time, and Shiji released him back to Chentang Pass to find the true culprit. At which point he put two and two together, found out it was Nezha again, and told him to go answer to Shiji together with him.

-Nezha, who did not think this was his fault, smacked Shiji's other disciple, the Colored Cloud Boy on the head with his Qiankun Ring, when he came out of the cave on his master's orders. Shiji was even less happy about that, took his weapons away with a single swipe of her sleeves, then chased him all the way to Taiyi's place.

-At which point Taiyi was like "Well, if you want Nezha to pay for his crimes, how about we go to the Jade Emptiness Palace together and let my master (Yuanshi Tianzun) sort it out?" Shiji refused, stating that he was just using his master's authority to lord over her and unfairly protect his disciple.

-Taiyi then revealed the Chan-Jie division that would later become a huge thing in the War of Investiture, and basically went "Sorry that your student died in Nezha's archery accident, Lady Shiji, but it is literally Fated to Happen, which means you totally shouldn't be mad at me or him."

-Shiji did not buy that explanation at all, and they fought. Taiyi blocked her hankerchief when she tried to use it, then threw the Nine Fire Dragon Bell Cover over her head, burning her to death and reverting her to her true form——a rock.

-Taiyi then informed Nezha that with JE's permission, Ao Guang had gathered the other dragon kings to go after Nezha's parents. Nezha begged him to save them, and his advice was...well, "kill yourself and the dragon kings will let them go". Literally.

-So Nezha did, which was very graphically described in the novel, after which his soul drifted off to Taiyi's place.

-Taiyi told him to go to his mother and tell her to build a temple for him at Mt. Cuiping. He did, and Lady Yin woke up from her dream crying.

-Upon learning the reason why, Li Jing yelled at her for crying after Nezha had brought all these troubles upon their family. Nezha's soul then haunted her in her dreams for a week or so, until she finally relented and built him a temple in secret.

-Half a year later, Li Jing found out about the temple while Nezha's soul was out and away for some unknown reasons. In a fit of rage, he smashed Nezha's statue and burned the temple down (I talk about how this resembles the destruction of 淫祠, illicit cults in IRL history here).

-Nezha returned to his temple only to find it in ruins, at which point he went back to Taiyi, who did the Lotus Resurrection thing and gave him back his weapons, together with a new spear, the Wind-Fire Wheels and a golden brick.

-Nezha immediately rushed back to Chentang Pass to take revenge, stating that after the whole "returning his flesh and blood" thing, they were basically unrelated and didn't owe each other anything, so he was perfectly justified to go after Li Jing for the destruction of his temple.

-They fought. Li Jing, quickly exhausted, turned tail and fled using the Daoist arts of Earth Travel, at which point he ran into Muzha. While they were talking, Nezha caught up with them.

-Muzha was like "How dare you!" and Nezha replied with "Who the hell are you?" Only after Muzha said his name out loud did he recognize his brother and recount the whole story.

-Muzha retorted that "Parents can do no wrong". Nezha pointed out that after his suicide, they were no longer father and son, and told him to stand aside.

-Muzha whipped out his sword to fight him. Concerned that Li Jing might get away in the meantime, Nezha threw his golden brick at Muzha, hitting him in the back and knocking him down.

-The chase continued. Li Jing, knowing that he couldn't run away forever, was ready to commit suicide instead of facing the disgrace of being struck down by his son.

-However, Jinzha's master, Wenshu, suddenly showed up to rescue him. Nezha demanded that Wenshu release Li Jing from his abode, and if he didn't, he'd poke three holes in Wenshu instead.

"And who are you, to make such claims?"

"I am Nezha, disciple of Master Taiyi!"

"Never heard of you. You can throw a tantrum elsewhere, but not here, and if you keep this up, you are in for a spanking."

-Nezha attacked him. In return, Wenshu unleashed his treasure, the Flying Dragon Pillar, tying Nezha onto it. He then summoned Jinzha, handed him a walking stick, and told Jinzha to give him a good whipping.

-Then Taiyi showed up to rescue him, telling Nezha to bow to Wenshu, his Daoist uncle (Context: Taiyi and Wenshu are both among the 12 Immortals of the Chan Sect), and scolded Li Jing a bit for the temple-burning thing.

-Then he told the two to get along and go their separate ways. Nezha was delighted, seeing it as basically a free pass to resume his revenge the moment he was out of his master's sight, and indeed, he did.

-Then Sage Randeng (also of the Chan Sect) showed up, gave Li Jing a buff, and told him to fight Nezha again. Nezha, having witnessed the whole thing and reached an impasse in the fight, attacked Randeng in an attempt to disable the buff.

-Randeng was not happy about this "unprovoked" attack on an innocent bystander, so he dropped a pagoda out of his sleeves and onto Nezha, trapping him inside.

-On Randeng's command, flames ignited inside the pagoda. At last, Nezha pleaded for the sage to release him, under the condition that he'd call Li Jing father (grrrr grrrr) again.

-He was planning to pull a second "resume patricide arc" the moment Randeng left, until the sage gave the pagoda to Li Jing and told them to go back to Chentang Pass and Taiyi's place respectively, to wait until the War of Investiture formally began.

-And they did: Nezha was sent to rescue Huang Feihu during his escape from the Five Passes in Chapter 34, while Li Jing only showed up much later in Chapter 64, to kill a fleeing Luo Xuan after he got all of his fire-based treasures neutralized and taken away by Princess Longji.

-I will not do a full campaign-by-campaign summary of Nezha's performance in the War of Investiture proper, for this post is already long enough.

-The broadest overview: together with his senior Daoist brother Yang Jian, Nezha was one of the biggest powerhouses on the Chan/Zhou side.

-His total kill count in the novel (only counting the named/deified ones) is 15, which is actually more than Yang Jian's (12-13).

-Much like Yang Jian, he was often the one who survived lethal attacks and AOE plague spells while the others were taken out. His lotus body also made him impervious to spells and treasures that work directly on the soul, usually by pulling it out of the body.

-After suffering an injury from the Blood-melting Knife of Yu Hua/his master Yu Yuan, Nezha was given his final power-up at Taiyi's place via three cups of wine and three "fire jujubes", enabling him to transform into his Three-headed, Eight-armed Form.

-At the end of the novel, Nezha, together with Li Jing, Jinzha, Muzha, Yang Jian, Weihu and Lei Zhenzi, became "Sages in Flesh"——which I understood as "a better sort of gods/immortals that don't receive their godhood via death and deification".

-The 6+ weapons he has: Qiankun Ring, Huntian Sash, Fire-tipped Spear, Golden Brick, Wind-Fire Wheel (in its most popular "hot wheels" depiction), Yin-Yang Swords, Nine Fire Dragon Bell Cover

[silvernyxchariot]

Multiple Characters (separate) x GN!Reader

Characters: Al Haitham, Kaveh, Kaeya

Synopsis: Oki, so it’s more like scenarios rather than a set of headcanons. Reader has been killed but somehow “resurrected” and used as a weapon or human puppet.(1) Kaveh doesn't really have a political rank, so Reader's not so much a weapon or human puppet in his.

⚠️Warning: Reader is dead, angst⚠️ If you saw spelling and grammatical errors, no you didn’t. 😤 It was 3 AM.

Kaeya Alberich (359 words)

“You are our last hope."

Those words echoed in Kaeya’s mind when his sword clashed with yours. The emptiness in your eyes, dry-leathery skin, and stitches all over your face and body horrified him. He could still smell the air of death wafting from your reanimated corpse. When he was dispatched dissolve a group of Abyss Mages, Kaeya didn’t believe that he would come face-to-face with you once again. The Mages that accompanied you cackled in the background.

Your face was no longer the one he remembered, full of sass and mirth at his flirtatious advances. He missed the way your eyes rolled and the little laugh you failed to hide when he hugged you from behind or flirted with you at Angel’s Share, even though you two were already dating. If Kaeya could vomit right now, he would. But first, he had to put you to rest a second time.

Clouds above thundered, covering the pounding of Kaeya’s heart in his chest. It wasn’t fair that he had to lose you again. And this time by his own hands. A heavy downpour drenched both him and your reanimated body.

“Cool it!” He thrust his sword when your body raised its arm to slash down on Kaeya’s shoulder. A frozen flower of ice covered your body’s shoulder. The blast was far too forceful and pushed you back. Your body wobbled over the edge of Starsnatch Cliff and a flint of life flashed in your dead eyes.

Cecilia petals picked up and drifted in the wind, across your drenched face. Kaeya reached out to grab your hand as your reanimated body failed you once again. What powers the Abyss Order used to keep you alive had run out and your body feel back into the sea over the edge. Before Kaeya could even grasp your hand one last time, it dispersed into dust. Before your body completely disappeared, you smiled at him and your sense of self broke through the Abyss Order’s binding on you, “I’m sorry but this will be the last time,” were your body’s final words as it dissolved in the wind.

Maybe in another life you’d give him a sense of hope again.

Kaveh (631 words)

Who would do this?

When news of your grave had been exhumed, Kaveh, your past emergency contact, was the first to be notified.

Was it for some sick ransom? But what good would a dead body do?

He ran to your grave, abandoning all his work, and out the door before Al Haitham could even glance away from his book. Mehrak idlily buzzed to life and tried to keep up with her creator but stopped at the door not knowing where he went. A concerned look displayed in her eyes as she turned to Al Haitham and beeped.

Kaveh wasn’t as important as Cyno the General Mahamahtra or even Al Haitham, who was currently the Acting Grand Sage. So, why did someone try to target his loved one?

When Kaveh arrived at your burial site, he had to shove the Matra away knocking most of them off their feet until Cyno told them that he had permission to pass. His lanky disposition betrayed the physical strength he truly held from his work, but such strength failed him when he collapsed in front of your desecrated grave. Sweat poured down his forehead and the fire lamps in casting shadows everywhere made everything all the eerier. Kaveh’s stomach dropped. There weren’t even drag marks leading away from your grave, but there were footprints littered everywhere.

Cyno placed a hand on Kaveh’s shoulder, also infuriated that an old friend has had their grave violated. “I’ll find out who did this. And why.”

Weeks later, Kaveh was still a bundle of nerves. His latest proposals, over thirty-five drafts, had been declined by his clients. His hair was a tangled mess and his clothes were always thrown on without a care. The lingering images of your empty grave flashed through his mind almost every time he looked at something that reminded him of you. It was as if you died a second time. At that point, Al Haitham had to drag Kaveh out of the house himself, going as far as Port Oromos to go shopping; Al Haitham’s treat, of course.

Everything seemed dull and grey in Kaveh’s vision. The fruits that he normally enjoyed and carefully crafted carpentry that would have given him inspiration to make another draft didn’t have any meaning. He normally would have paused to inspect each one that caught his eye. Even Al Haitham lecturing him through whispers in his ear sounded like buzzing.

“I’ll take five, please.”

It was like the sound of windchimes on a tranquil day.

Kaveh raised his head in the direction of your voice. Crimson eyes scanned the crowd and searched for your frame, a figure that stood out to him every time. He left Al Haitham’s side and pushed through the busy port until he made it to the lighthouse. By then the crowd had dwindled and someone was standing by the edge of the water humming and enjoying a lavender melon from Inazuma.

This person chomped onto the berry with delight and its juices flowed freely down their chin and wrist. Kaveh reached out and grabbed their shoulder and turned them around, startling them.

It was your same features, but just a touch or two here different. What stared back at him was you, but with two different colored eyes and a freshly healed scar around the circumference of your throat. “Excuse you…” you said with a raised eyebrow and a scowl on your lips.

The lack of recognition on your face made a layer of ice over Kaveh’s heart, “I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” It wasn’t as if he couldn’t love again. He wanted your love again. The person that had your face, voice, and even that little habit of tilting your head shoved his hand away and walked off.

Al Haitham (902 words)

“My feet moved on their own,” were the last words Al Haitham heard pass your lips after you took a blade intended for him. Your smiling lips turned pale as blood drained from your abdomen. The crimson fluid of life pooled in his hand as he applied pressure to the wound. He shouldn’t have let you accompany him to pass on the old Sages’ punishment, at worst they would have to live their lives “camping” and farming in some remote corner of Avidya Forest in exile, but then again, he didn’t believe any of them would have any followers that would be so reckless as to be violent.

It had been weeks since the Traveler had defeated Shouki no Kami, the old Sages had been replaced, and Al Haitham was still picking up the pieces of their mess. He scoffed.

Al Haitham snapped his book shut, unable to focus on it. “Ridiculous,” and the calm waters of Yazadaha Pool didn’t help when memories of your dying body were running through his mind. “I can handle myself.” He decided to go back to your grave, buried underneath of a cool, shady tree, an area with a nice breeze overlooking the ocean at Port Oromos. Just like you asked.

Reading to your grave seemed to calm him down during these moments. And on particularly lazy days he would nap there, as if he would wake up from a bad dream, and you would be staring back at him.

But when he got there, Al Haitham couldn’t help but be beyond horrified, eyes wide, the only indication of emotion he had. The tint of orange of his inner irises flared up and it seemed like his eyes flashed red with rage. Instead of reporting directly to the Matra, Al Haitham studied the surrounding area. Footprints, broken branches, and remains of your ripped clothing created a trail. Whoever took you, clearly didn’t think this through.

It didn’t take long for the Acting Grand Sage to find out how had taken your body and where. Their hideout was a little cave at the edge of the Ashavan Realm and Land of the Lower Setekh. They barely even covered the entrance. He snuck in, slipping through tunnels and listening to the voices of those who possibly took you, trying to find them. And he succeeded. It was a laboratory of stolen equipment and a small group of fanatics, students from the Akademiya, that took you from your resting place. Fanatics, who hung up tapestries of symbols for Shouki no Kami surrounded your body. Upon closer inspection, your body, ashy and grey with death, lay on a table where the graverobbers connected multiple tubes and wire to you.

If people Sumeru thought Al Haitham was a “lunatic” simply for doing whatever he please, within reason of course, things were going to be blown out of proportion today.

Al Haitham slid past each of them and tampered with the equipment, overriding their heat regulation systems and clogging the gears he could reach. He perched himself on the ledge closest to the operating table, ““Tampering with life and death,”” he quoted, ““Revering gods without acts of devotion,” even if your god only existed for a few minutes, your attempts at,” he raised an eyebrow, “worship are abysmal.” Although he said those words to the graverobbers, he stared at what appeared to be your dull eyes staring back up at him.

Your naked corpse, shakily and clumsily, removed the wires and IV tubes from your veins. The graverobbers, the ones that sympathized with the former Sages and Shouki no Kami, raved and celebrated. Their clapping disappeared into white noise while he focused on your body moving so unnaturally. Al Haitham rubbed his head and grumbled.

He slipped down from the ledge, spinning and elbowing the graverobbers in the jaw, effectively knocking them out, to get to you. Your body held a scalpel as it wobbled towards him. How these students could reanimate a corpse was beyond reason or even ethical practice in Sumeru. If he listened closely, the equipment around him started humming and whirring louder, more labored until finally each machine he tampered with detonated and exploded the equipment next to it. The force of each explosion ruffled your hair and swayed your movements.

The graverobbers panicked and ran for the exits, leaving behind their comrades who got caught under debris as the cave started to fall apart.

Al Haitham walked to your body and grabbed your wrists. He shook your hands until they released the scalpel. Your mouth moved as if you wanted to say something, but he looked down at you with waterlines about to flood with tears, the ones he never let himself express at your funeral.

“I’m sorry for letting them wake you, .” Al Haitham took his blade and jabbed it up into your body’s abdomen, through your stomach and out your back. As your body turned limp in his arms again, he picked you up and walked steadily out of the caves as not to jostle you more. The crumbling cave and explosions were blocked out, not only by his soundproof headphones but the focus he had on your slumbering face. “I’ll have to report this to the Matra later,” he whispered to you, “Heh, I hope Cyno won’t mind the explosions.” Although, those words would never reach you.

“I’ll make sure to bury you in one of your favorite outfits again.”

A/N: I was going to add Diluc too, but I got lazy.

“Brevity is the soul of the wit.” I try to be blunt and express myself with precision, but I clearly didn’t do that with Al Haitham’s scenario, while Kaeya’s was a measly ~350 words. 😔

(1) Inspired by Naruto/Naruto Shippudden, the 4th Great Ninja War arc when Sai witnessed his adoptive brother be used as a weapon and got blown up in front of him. Now that I think about it, maybe Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein too.

[https-furina]

alhaitham 45 pls idk if ur event is still open for sugar and spice but 👀👀

✎ the books hold secrets untold.

ft. alhaitham x gn!reader

prompt: "if i kiss you right now, i won't be able to stop."

w.c. 607 words

content: fluff, secret relationship waahahahah, risky kisses in the house of daena, reader is a bit bold, acting grand sage! alhaitham

notes: my first completed alhaitham req for the event aaaa !! everybody clap for haitham for getting content from me /j i was minorly feral for this

the house of daena is pristine, it has been since before your creation - since before the creation of your own boyfriend, in all of his current glory as the acting grand sage of the akademiya. this title comes much to his distaste, it leaves a bitter sting on his tongue when he's made to utter it and he would grimace whenever someone referred to him as such. that's why it had became your favourite thing to shove in his direction half pointedly when you were tired of the level of sass that could come from the man's mouth sometimes.

and at this current time, he's drafting his resignation for the aforementioned position. he's much comfier in his role as the scribe, you can see that in the way he carries himself through the akademiya. you also see the way he's physically pained to sit in the incredulously large chair in the sage's office - after all, why the hell did it need to be that big? alhaitham makes a distressed noise as he runs a hand through silver strands of hair, his brows knitting together as he falls at his wit's ends trying to word his resignation to his liking. that is ultimately why you - as his loving partner - whisk away to hide in the bookshelves for a few minutes.

alhaitham has his reasons for keeping the relationship secret - one of them being that emotional, loud blond roommate of his - and so do you, so neither of you have qualms about the situation. even more so, it's a bit of fun adrenaline to spice up your otherwise bland life as a scholar. you're not entirely sure if alhaitham would agree with that. regardless of his opinion, he has your body trapped between himself and the bookshelves as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. alhaitham is by no means one for public displays of affection but he's starved, his fingertips twitching as they brush against the leather bound tomes behind you.

your hands run through his hair, sifting through the silver locks as you rub the pads of your fingers on his scalp in short, soothing motions. alhaitham doesn't make a sound - nothing out of the blue - but his breath hitches against your skin and a smile is drawn on your face at the small gesture. you press your lips to the soft of his hair, letting out a low hum.

"haitham," you mumble quietly, a whine eliciting from you when he pulls his head away, leaving your hands to fall to his shoulders, "kiss me."

you're a little short of demanding, your lower lip poking out as you give the emotionless male puppy eyes in an attempt to convince him. it's risky, the house of daena is a public library and the central hub for the akademiya's internal activities but you frankly don't care. you want alhaitham; his touch, his familiar scent, the taste on his lips. it seems to be a lingering thought for him as well as his eyes trace down to your lips.

"if i kiss you right now, i won't be able to stop." he's quite honest with his response - he's aware of his self restraint when it comes to anything regarding you.

you lean up with a wicked smile that alhaitham can only begin to wonder what it stemmed from, locking lips with the the scribe in a heated attempt at getting any form of closure. between soft pants for breath against each other's lips, alhaitham manages to hear your barely legible "then don't."

there are secrets that only the books know, stories that pages whisper in hushed tones.

© https-heizou 2023.

[toasttt11]

never grow up; lando norris, jack hughes

summary: memories of estella leclerc

estelle leclerc x lando norris, estelle leclerc x jack hughes

tag list: @chelawrites @faithm120601

estelle soleil leclerc the only leclerc sister, the older twin sister of arthur leclerc, a formula one driver for red bull racing, being the youngest world champion and only female to win a f1 race as well as a championship, an ambassador for nike and louis vuitton, the youngest face ever on a vogue front cover and to date the most vogue covers belong to her.

name: estelle soleil leclerc

birthday: october 13, 2000

age: 22

height: 5”6

racing career:

karting 2008-2014

ferrari driver academy 2013-2018

formula four- 2015-2016

formula three- 2017

formula two- 2018

formula one-2019

red bull racing- 2019-2023

championship win 2019, 2021

vogue partnership started 2009

sponsors-nike, lululemon, apple, louis vuitton

siblings- lorenzo tolotta-leclerc, charles leclerc, arthur leclerc

godfather- jules bianchi

love interests- lando norris, jack hughes

May 22, 2008

Estelle walked around with her sage green helmet in hand and her overalls on seeing all the other kids around her age and seeing no girls just boys, it started a fire in her to prove everyone wrong and show girls can kart too, she lost her younger twin brother who was with their parents.

All of sudden a boy with brown hair tripped in front of her and another boy running behind him with black curls on his head, the boy who fell lifted his head seeing a girl with perfect chestnut brown curls and sparkling hazel green eyes, she raised a brow with a hint of a smile gracing her face as she reached down a hand for the boy, he grabbed scrambling up, “T-thanks i’m Lando.” He grinned with all his teeth, a gap between his front two teeth, he pointed towards his best friend Max, “And this is Max.” Max waved with a smile.

“I’m Estelle.” She smiled her french accent coming out before the boys could reply they heard a voice shout and a boy come running towards them.

“Essie!” Arthur shouted running over to his twin taking her hand and starting to pull her back to their parents, she turned around waving bye at the two, not knowing in the future they would become best friends.

“Who were they?” Arthur questioned in french.

“Their names are Lando and Max.” She responded back in french, before they got to their parents and older brothers.

“Oh there you are darling we were looking for you.” Pascale grinned seeing her twins, looking happier knowing her daughter was fine but she usually tends to wonder off.

“Je suis désolé Maman.” Estelle apologized knowing her mother is protective of her, Her mother dismissed her apology with a fond smile.

Estelle was suddenly picked off from behind and tossed over someone shoulder who was spinning her around, she giggled knowing exactly who it was, “Pear stop it!” She giggled as she got gently set down looking up seeing Pierre Gasly, her brothers best friend and a family friend, basically her fourth brother.

“Sorry petite étoile.” Pierre cheekily grinned calling her little star, as he has since she was born.

“No you’re not.” Estelle sassed back cocking an eyebrow and a hand on her hip.

“Someone’s sassy today.” Chalres fond voice came by her ear as he leaned kissing her cheek twice.

“Hi cha.” She smiled sweetly kissing his cheek back.

“You excited for your first race.” Charles looked between his little twin siblings, getting two identical nods in return, ���Good you’re both going to do great!” He kisses both their heads.

“Duh! We’re Leclerc’s!” Estelle sassed with a smile, as Arthur nodded along with her, Charles fondly laughed, Pierre smiled down at the twins. Herve and Pascale shared a fond look glad their family is so close with each other.

January 4, 2010

Estelle walked into her house her foot shutting the door behind her as she held the handful of mail she got from the mail box for her parents, she knew her family were waiting for her so they could eat lunch together, she walked towards the kitchen entering it when she saw the magazine, she squealed jumping up and down as the other mail dropped on the ground, her whole family looked up seeing her squealing jumping, as her perfect chestnut brown curls bounced with her around her pink headband on her head.

“What is it darling?” Pascale looked up from the kitchen island, Herve looked up from his newspaper as well.

“Maman Papa it came.” She grinned her beautiful bright smile turning the magazine towards them, revealing her face on the cover of vogue becoming the youngest ever to do so.

“Oh petit soleil that’s wonderful.” Herve grinned proudly of his daughter who is already accomplishing so much and he couldn’t wait to see her continue to do so, he wrapped his arm around her pressing kisses on her head.

“Mon cheri!” Pascale gasped looking at the cover as her filled with fresh wet tears, she scooped her only daughter in her arms rocking them back and forth, “I am so proud of you my darling.”

Estelle giggled happily just as Chalres stood up and picked her up spinning her around making her giggles fill the room.

“That’s so cool petite soeur!” Charles grinned setting his favorite sibling down gently.

“Merci Cha!” She grinned up at him, before getting pushed back as Arthur tackled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around his twin tightly, “Congrats mon jumeau!” She giggled kissing his cheek.

Lorenzo walked over gently hugging his little sister tightly and kissing her forehead.

Jules stood grinning proudly at his goddaughter, he scooped her up spinning her around making her laugh, “Ah ma belle, i’m so proud.” He pressed kisses to top of her head making her giggle.

“Merci juju!” Estrelle grinned at her godfather.

“I think this calls for chocolate cake to celebrate.” Pascale smiled watching her twins heads snap towards her in unison.

“CHOCOLATE CAKE!” Estelle and Arthur gasped in unison, their favorite food, dessert, anything to do with food is chocolate desserts especially their mothers chocolate cake.

“Please Maman!” The twins sent their identical puppy dog eyes towards their mother.

“Of course my darlings.” Pascale fondly smiled kissing both of their cheeks.

April 20, 2015

Estelle a year ago joined the Ferrari Academy and had started driving with Prema this season in formula 4, with her teammates Zhou Guanyu and Ralf Aron, she currently dominating all the rookies in the series and putting up a good fight with the rest of the grid, the team thinking the next year will be more her year.

Estelle has becoming more familiar with the Prema team as her brother is also apart of the team and her godfather was also once a part of the Prema team, so she’s began to find a family there but more so with the ferrari academy.

She accepted to go with Angelina Ertsou, one of the more important and influential people in the series’s before formula one and someone who’s has began to care lots for the young girl who’s very determined to prove herself.

Angelina has been going to different karting races when she has the chance to look for upcoming talents and kids Prema may want to have on their teams and where they would recommend them to sign to a junior team. Also seeing kids who they have to talked to already who they know they want to have in the future.

Estelle eye was caught of on the kart with number 8, happening to watch the person driving with her number, who was leading the race almost the entire time until the last lap when someone behind the kart clipped it and number eight was pushed off the trac as the back of the kart was ripped off, and Estelle couldn’t help but frown seeing the kids race be ruined because of someone behind him knowing how much that’s sucks. She watched the race finished and saw the kid who clipped the kart being happy and arrogant with his win.

Estelle saw the kid in number 8 take the helmet off showing a younger boy with light brown hair, she could she the way he frowned and walked off towards one of sides of a building, she kept that in mind when she felt Angelina tap her arm to get up and walk to set a of parents that Angelina have talked to before.

“David! Terri!” Angelina smiled as she walked over the two but she could feel her face slip into concern as she saw them turn around and both looking distressed, “Is everything alright?”

“Our son we turned to see the end of the race and when we turned back he was out of his kart and gone.” Terri hurriedly explained looking worried not wanting to move knowing their son saw them their last.

Estelle couldn’t help but frown thinking of a boy that she saw walk away, “Was his number eight by chance.”

The parents turned slightly noticing the younger girl who’s face was covered in freckles and had beautiful green hazel eyes, her chestnut brown hair was in high ponytail spilt into two braids, a green quarter zip jacket with a black puffer vest over it, black leggings, and black leather boots.

“He is, did you see him?” David looked concerned as he hoped for good answer from the young girl.

“I think so i can go bring him back if you would like?” Estelle kindly offered having a feeling they woundnt want to leave as she saw they also have two younger children as well.

The parents both breathes a sigh of relief thanking the girl profusely who waved it off with a kind smile excusing herself walking over to building seeing a young boy sitting against the wall crying.

Estelle sat down slowly next to him not wanting to frighten him, “You know when i got clipped out i cried for a long while.”

The young boys head lifted up seeing someone sitting next to him with a kind smile towards him, He sniffed whipping his face, “Did you ever get over it?” He knew this was only his second year in karting but he wanted to prove himself so hard and that was difficult when his race was ruined with something out of his control.

Estelle gently scoffed, “Not for a long while. I cried for so long, i think my eyes were permanently red for a long while!” The boy smiled slightly making Estelle happy she is making him feel a bit better.

“But what i did learn later on was that to be a great driver you have to bad races and make mistakes because that’s how you get better. It’s okay to have a bad race or for it end with something out of your control but if you gave it your all then that’s all that matter. We are human and at the end of the day we aren’t perfect. So losing is okay even though it doesn’t always feel the best.” Estelle gave the advice she wished she knew when she had bad race days and would beat herself up for along time, something she still try’s not to do anymore.

The boy slowly nodded listening intently to the older girl, he didn’t feel completely better but he did feel a lot better than he did a few minutes ago, “Thank you.” Before his eyes opened wider sheepishly realizing he doesn’t know her name yet, “I’m Ollie, Ollie Bearman.”

Estelle smiled at the younger boy watching him put his hand out for a handshake, she gently took his hand shaking it, “Hello Ollie, i’m Estelle Leclerc.”

Ollie gasped in recognition, “Your the only girl driver in F4!” Ollie smiled having been rooting for her since he started watching the series.

Estelle smiled and nodded, “I am, but we do need to get you back to your parents buddy they’re looking for you.” She stood up brushing herself off holding a hand down for Ollie who gently took and stood and when Estelle was going to take her hand away Ollie just tightens his grip on her hand, Estelle just smiled at the young boy and walked over to where his parents were, seeing Angelina talk with another set of parents in the distance.

She watched the two parents both gasp in relief hugging their son tightly who was apologizing realizing he scared them.

Terri and David pulled back from their son looking at the young girl who found him, “Thank you so much.” Terri smiled in thankfulness at Estelle.

Estelle just smiled, “It’s not a problem.

“Where are my manners, I’m Terri Bearman and this is my husband David.” Terri smiled holding her hand out to Estelle who smiled seeing where Ollie got it from.

“I’m Estelle Leclerc.” Estelle politely smiled shaking Terri’s hand.

Angelina finshed talking with the other parents she had to talk to walking over seeing Estelle had found Ollie.

Angelina was talking with David and Teri, as Ollie walked around them and stood with Estelle who kneeled down to be level with him as she talked to Ollie.

The conversation with the three of them was at the end when they heard two loud laughs they looked over seeing Estelle and Ollie both laughing hard, and Ollie was naturally leaning on the older girl, who was about five years older then him.

“Ollie doesn’t usually get comfortable with people that fast.” Terri smiled seeing her son laugh and be comfortable with another person.

Angeline fondly smiled, “It’s Estelle, she has that effect of people.”

“We can see that.” David smiled seeing the two both talk so animated with each other and he had a feeling this would not be the last time they saw Estelle.

“I’ll see you again right?” Ollie looked hopeful as he looked at her.

“Promise buddy.” Estelle gave his hair a ruffle having a feeling Ollie will be joining Prema sooner than later.

The Bearmans watched the two walk away, “We’ll see Estelle again won’t we?” Ollie looked at his parents in hopefulness.

Terri brushed his hair smiling at her son, “You really like don’t you?”

Ollie rapidly nodded, “She’s awesome!”

The parents shared a look figuring they could ask Angelina a way to have Estelle be able to talk to Ollie.

What they all didn’t know what that it was the beginning of a amazing friendship and mentorship between the two racers.

July 21, 2015

The air just felt bare, silent, stoic. Estelle didn’t know but it just felt wrong knowing there would never be a time to make new memories with Jules again, never a time to go to a baseball game with him again, never a time to get a hug from him again, never a time to have sleepovers at his house for godfather-goddaughter days again. She knew there was never going to be a day she didn’t miss him.

Jules has been there for everything, he’s been there for her whole life, most of every family memories include Jules, he’s family he always will be.

Estelle couldn’t help but think that Jules would be lonely wherever he’s ended up and she hoped she’s wrong she couldn’t live with herself if she knew Jules was alone and without any family and friends.

Estelle leaned against the outside of church after his funeral, not even knowing how it already ended, she was trying not sob the entire funeral as she helped her two brothers hands.

She felt someone sit next to her and a hand intertwines with hers and head lean on her shoulder, she knew it was her younger twin brother, who was hurting as much as her.

“You’re not dying without me.” Arthur’s voice was raspy from not talking for awhile.

Estelle knew what he meant, they all could see Lorenzo become broken without his best friend and she knew exactly what Arthur meant. She looked over seeing the dry tear marks on his cheeks kissing the top of his head before leaning her head on his, “Never Arty, Never.” She knew it would destroy then if the one of them died before the other. She didn’t want to live in a world without her other half, a feeling she knew was mutual.

Charles walked out of the church looking to the side seeing his younger siblings curled up together, Arthur his eyes were red from crying and cheeks cried with tears, but Estelle’s face was blank but her eyes were what showed all the pain, the beautiful sparkle in her eye gone, he hoped he never had to see that look on her again.

Charles walked over sitting next to Estelle taking her other hand kissing her head letting her lean on his shoulder he wrapped one arm around both of his twins and his other holding Estelle’s hand.

The siblings sat for the rest the time in silence, cuddled up with each other for the rest of the funeral.

June 20, 2017

A seventeen year old Estrelle who looked heartbroken as she stood in the doorway to her fathers hospital room, she knew this was goodbye and the last time she could ever speak to her papa again, her mother gently touched her shoulder giving her a sad but encouraging look as she is the last one of her siblings to say her goodbyes.

She told a deep breath slowly walking in seeing the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, she scooted the chair closer to his bed sitting down holding her fathers hand resting it against her lips kissing the back of her Papa’s hand.

Herve eyes weakly fluttered open looking to his right seeing his beautiful little princess who isn’t so small anymore and knew this was the last time they would see each other, his other hand weakly tried to get to his oxygen mask to speak, Estelle quickly helped him slip it off slighty.

“I’m so proud of you petit soleil.” He weakly croaked out his hand tightening around hers.

She shallowed before before she spoke, “I got into formula one papa, i’ll make you proud i promise.” She knew she lied as she just got accepted into formula two after winning the formula three championship this season, but she knew it’s always been her fathers dream to see her get into formula one and he’s been her biggest supporter and if she has to lie to make him happy, it’s fine by her. It just means she needs to make sure she gets into formula one after the next season.

Herve eyes lights up with happiness and proudness, tears filled his eyes as his hand weakly reached for the back of her head pulling her closer as he kissed her forehead, “Je t'aime petit soleil.”

“moi aussi, je t'aime papa.” Estelle mumbled back telling her father she loved him for the last time trying to hold her tears from falling, she felt the hand of her mother on her shoulder she gently pulled back from her papa looking at his face once more, the twos eyes connecting saying everything that was not said out-loud, she turned around holding a hand over moth to hold back her sobs as she walked into the hallway where her brothers were waiting, her twin who was crying into Lorenzo’s shoulder and Charles who was staring into the distance.

Estella sluggishly walked towards Chalres sitting next to him, “I lied i told papa i got into F1.”

Charles blinked hearing his sisters voice he reached his hand over holding hers, “I told papa i got into Ferrari.”

“Then we have to do that.” Estella declared making sure the last thing she told her Papa will come true.

“We will.” Charles leaned his head onto top of her head as they listen to the sound of their father’s heart monitor stop, both of their identical eyes losing its sparkle, again.

December 17, 2018

Estelle who just turned eighteen a few months ago finally has got the time to see the penthouse she bought the day she turned eighteen.

She picked her favorite place New York. Jules took her many times when she was younger, they would take a trip together, sightseeing around New York, going to see a yankees game and ever since the first time Estelle loves New York, and has been yankees fan since.

She’s wanted to have a place in New York since she could remember and the day she turned old enough she signed the papers.

Estella knows starting in Formula one in a few months she won’t get as much time as she will like to come visit but it will be nice to have a place where she can go and relax and just be herself even if it’s for a few days, she is also close to the yankees stadium and she close to Vogue headquarters which is where she has to go to a lot anyways.

She bought a penthouse that has two stories and a loft in it, The view of the city is beautiful and almost all the windows are from the floor to ceilings, the whole bottom floor is very open and feels spacious. A lot of metal and glass around the whole penthouse, very open floor plan on the bottom floor, her kitchen is very open with a large island, four guest bedrooms and her master bedroom, a huge bookcase that’s she already planning to fill with many books, a office that has the perfect view of the city, and her own at home gym, her bathroom has a huge bathtub perfect for relaxing where she can see the city from the bathtub, both stories have a balcony that wrap around the outside of the building and she has to have her key or a code to get to her floor from the elevator which is good for safety, and there is security in the apartment building twenty four seven.

She unlocked her beautiful door walking into the home that’s fully furnished alreadly and she already felt at peace.

She walked across the center of the room towards the other side that’s filled with large window loving the view she has of New York City.

Estelle turned her head taking everything in she walked down the hallway to the right of the front door that she knows is her side, she opened the door to her bedroom locking the open and simply look, she walked across towards her closet, that she already loves as it has so much room for close, Estelle always has to much clothing and she knew it would not be difficult for her to fill it fast.

Estelle turned to the other side of her room that had the bathroom door reaviling her beauty of a bathroom, a huge glass shower with a rain shower head, a giant bathtub by the windows, two matching sinks with large mirrors, and a vanity with a stool and mirror on the other side, she closed the door walking out of the room back to hallway passing the front door again heading up the first flight of stairs where she knows is her gym and all of her guest bedrooms, she walked towards the next set of stairs that leads to her loft is what she picked for her office.

Estelle walked towards the desk sitting in the chair looking out the window and smiled she got her dream house. A place she can choose to call home.

Having a hard time call Monaco home after her Father and Jules death.

September 8, 2019

“MERCEDES THREW EVERYTHING AT THEM TODAY, CHARLES LECLERC COPED BRILLIANTLY. HE WON IN SPA, HE WINS IN MONZA. ESTELLE LECELEC THE ROOKE EVERYONE WAS TOLD TO LOOK OUT FOR, HAS JUST PROVED WHY WITH A SEOND PLACE PODIUM IN HER ROOKIE YEAR, NOT ONCE HAS SHE FINISHED LOWER THAN FIFTH THE WHOLE SEASON.”

Chalres cheered as he pulled his car into the first place spot, running towards his team getting hugs and pats on the back, before he heard more cheers again and turned seeing his sister getting out of her car in second place, and he couldn’t help the tears fillings his eyes seeing his little sister grow up and accomplish a piece of her dream he quickly ran towards her not being able to the see her bright smile that he knew she had under her helmet, he pulled her into a tight hug feeling her arms tighten around him.

They pulled back the two siblings looking at each other, placing there for heads together through their helmets.

“A sibling 1-2!” Charles grinned as he spoke to his sister knowing it’s been their dream to get a 1-2 together.

Estelle laughed full of excitement, “We’ll have to get a 1-2-3 next!” She grinned under the helmet knowing sooner than later they will be joined by Arthur and they will have a podium of just Leclercs.

Chalres fondly laughed, putting his hand where her buckle is on her helmet helping it undo, watching her pull it off head as he undid his, He threw a arm around her shoulder, as they walked to the weight scale.

Estelle was the first to walk in the cool off room she put a finger over her lips as she looked at the cameras before walking towards the winners seat which should be Charles seat today but Estelle quickly sat in it grinning as she drank from her water bottle.

Lewis walked into chucked shaking his head seeing where Estelle sat, patting her on the head congratulating her for her first podium. Lewis has followed Estelle career for awhile and has been one of her biggest supporters since she joined Formula one.

Charles walked into the cool off room setting his helmet on the table drinking water and wiping his face, as he turned around seeing Estelle sitting in his seat with an innocent face, Charles raised an eyebrow laughing, “Really?” Estelle just smiled in reply.

“Alright off ma cherie.” He gently pushed her off and toward her seat, “Don’t worry soon it will be your seat.”

And Charles wasn’t wrong the next race, Singapore, Estelle got her first win, as a rookie in Singapore. She continued to win the rest of the races thought our the season, fighting until the last race to win the championship against Lewis and gaining the championship title, as a rookie and a female.

December 12, 2019

Estelle was in one of the many Vouge headquarters seeing the young and upcoming models and doing a talk day for them all, especially as she just became a formula one world champion at 19 and have been working with vogue for 10 years already.

The talk was her giving tips and advice in the model world, talking about the highs and lows of being a model and she showed them a few different model walks and had the group of around 20 young girl teenagers copy her, the hours went by fast before she knew it almost everyone was gone and she had finished answering anyone who came up to her for questions.

Estelle saw a girl who looked a few years younger than her sitting on a bench packing up her bag and sliding off her heeled shoes, wincing slighty, Estelle walked over stopping in front of her, “May i sit?” She gestured to the spot next to the the girl.

The girls head snapped up nodding, “Sim. I mean yes.” She answered in Portuguese before giving a sheepish smile, Estelle smiled sitting down looking at her sore feet, “My feet used to the same, so i started putting plaster on the parts that got hurt and i never had a problem again.” Estelle gestured to the girls feet knowing what’s it’s like to get use to heels.

The girl blinked in surpise nodding, “Oh thank you.” She smiled slighty putting her hand out, “I’m Fransicia but everyone calls be Kika.”

“It’s nice to meet you Kika, I’m Estelle” Estelle smiled shaking her hand, having a feeling Kika was going to become someone pretty special to her.

“Oh i know.” Kika smiled slighty shy having always looked up to Estelle as she is so young and is already the top model worldwide.

“Well can i have your number then Kika.” Estelle gently smiled at the girl, knowing she was going to great things in the modeling world.

“Course.” Kika blinked slighty shocked that she wanted be number but then realized Estelle is still a regular person too and she is only three years older than her. Kika took the phone Estella passed to her typing in her number real quick, before passing it back.

The two said their goodbyes to each other and it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

May 24, 2022

Estelle parked her Porsche 911 Turbo S Carbriolet, That she of course bought in a dark green color. She grabbed her green Dior saddle bag, slipping on her Prada sunglasses getting out of the car, walking up towards the hair salon that her mother owns, Estelle knew her mother didn’t have any clients today but she would be at the salon, She walked into the salon putting sunglasses on the top of her head smiling as she watched her mother head look up to tell whoever was coming in they weren’t open for business today but stopped when she her daughter.

“Oh my darling!” Pascale gasped in delight rushing forward pulling her daughter into a hug, feeling a rush of nostalgia when they hugged and Estelle taller than her when she used to be shorter than her. Pascale pulled back cupping Estelle face having missed seeing her the last few week in person, “Mon amour your aren’t suppose be here till tomorrow night?” Pascale questioned knowing it was a rule in their family when it was Monaco race weekend all her children come home and have dinner together and that is tomorrow night.

“It was a surprise thought we could have the day and tomorrow just us before the boys come over.” Estelle smiled watching her mother light up in excitement knowing she missed her children a lot and is glad to have anytime with them.

“Of course darling!” Pascale smiled kissing her daughters cheek, “Is this why your brother dropped me off today?” Pascale smiled watching the slight sheepish look cover her only daughter’s face, a look she saw more often with Estelle as she grew up.

“Yes Maman.” Estelle knew her mom would figure it out quickly, As her mother knew all her children the best.

Pascale fondly smiled, “Now it’s time to do your hair mon cher!” Always loving to do her daughters hair as they don’t get as much time anymore.

“Of course Maman.” Estelle fondly smiled letting her mother drag her to Salon chair and tying the cutting cape over her.

Pascale looked over her daughter’s beautiful hair deciding what to do, “Hmm what about a gloss?” She looked through the mirror seeing the nod of approval, Pascale knowing that her daughter doesn’t love to dye her hair and would rather it be her natural color.

“Your shoes were beautiful in the picture you sent.” Pascale complimented her daughter, Estelle always made sure to send photos and videos when she was away of everything and anything so her mother could still be a big part of her life.

“Good, i have a pair in your size Maman.” Estelle cheekily grinned knowing her mother didn’t love how all her children spoil her as they have grown up and earn their own money.

“Of course you did cheri.” Pascale fondly smiled knowing she couldn’t stop her children from spoiling her, she’s tried.

The mother and daughter just talked for hours as Pascele did the gloss, before she cut Estelle’s hair and gave her a blow out.

Estelle stood up gently taking off the cutting cape fixing the white and black stripped sweater that’s tied across her shoulder, with her black cropped shirt with blue jeans and white converse, as she smiled at her hair gently touching always loving it the best when her mother did it.

“Merci Maman!” Estelle kissed her mother cheeks in thank you. She linked arms with her mother as they walked out of the salon locking it up, before walking over to Estelle car going to get lunch together before they shopped the rest of the day.

[bumblekastclips]

KYLE CROUSE: Here's a question from Happytimes! "You were probably expecting this question at some point: how do you picture Boom Sage would've been like, and how is Boom Eggman as a dad?"

IAN FLYNN: [chuckling] Oh, Boom!Eggman is just a fawning, tripping-over-himself dad. KYLE: I was gonna say, yeah... IAN: He spoils her rotten and she just does not care. KYLE: [laughs] IAN: Like, Boom!Sage is there because she has to be, and like, deep down, she does have feelings for Boom!Dad, but... God, he's so cringey! She's optimized his daily plan three times over now, and he's thrown it out to throw her yet another surprise party. It's not even her birthday. She doesn't want a unicorn, she can't interact with a unicorn. "Can we destroy Sonic now please? Stop ending the fight midway through to show off your wallet photos! Who even carries wallets anymore?! Dad, stop it!" KYLE: [chuckles] Boom!Sage is just the goth kid, pretty much. IAN: [cackling, then in Eggman's voice] "I've had enough of your sass, go to your room!" [as Sage] "Fine!" She flies into the hard drive. KYLE: [laughs] That's cute! IAN: It starts pumping out angry emo music. KYLE: [as Eggman] "Go to your computer! Wait, no, you're grounded, get off your computer!" [both laugh]

--- TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Please remember that nothing that is said on BumbleKast is canon! It's just some guys and their opinions occasionally spitballing ideas. If you don't like an answer, you don't have to take it as Word of God or anything like that. It's all just for fun! ----- This question was requested anonymously! Do you want a specific question transcribed and posted? Send the question and the episode date to my ask box! Or if you just want questions about a certain character, send me their name and I will see what I can do!